#*chaos ensues*

[dear-ao3]

12:21 am. someone has given my sister the aux cord. she is playing life is a highway.

[theantaresheron]

If Ruggie can shove twenty people down the stairs on a regular day, can you imagine what he can do if he overblot

[fortheloveofexy]

if andrew and neil ever got married, it wouldn't be for tax benefits (they're both rich from careers in exy, what do they care about taxes) or hospital visitation rights (they're already each other's emergency contacts and legal power of attorney, they don't necessarily need marriage for that).

It'd be for spousal privilege, so they can never be forced to testify against one another in court.

[abovesn4kes]

AU that takes place in 1999 in which Dutch and Hosea make shitty western movies as tax write offs

[robinsleeping]

YEET

[el-pada]

If you’re still doing doodle requests can you draw one of the villains 🙏🙏🙏 please they’re all so goofy

does this count

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 14: Almost There

13 Hours Into Labor

Charlie: (breathing heavily) Oh, sshhhhhhhhit!!! Contractions are getting worse! Where's that midwife????

Vaggie: She's on her way, babe. (under her breath) Or at least she better be. Your dad was supposed to call her hours ago.

Charlie: (groans into a cry of pain as another contraction hits and she crushes Vaggie's hand) Gah! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!

Vaggie: Hang on, babe. Just hang on. I'm going to be right back.

Charlie: (nods as sweat beads up on her head) Please, hurry back.

Vaggie: I'll be back before you know it. (kisses Charlie's hand and rushes to the door before nearly ripping it off its hinges) Lucifer! Where the fuck is that midwife?!

Lucifer: (eyes nearly pop out of his head) I FORGOT TO CALL SLOTH!!!

Vaggie: ¡Estúpido hijo de puta! You had one fucking job!

Lucifer: (fumbles his phone) I got it! I can fix this!

Lilith: (storms up to Vaggie, trying to get into the room)

Vaggie: (blocks the door) Uh, excuse you? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Lilith: I am that girl's mother. Who are you?

Vaggie: I'm her fucking WIFE, bitch! You're not going in there after being gone for several fucking years! You can wait out here!

Lilith: (shocked Pikachu face)

Lucifer: I made a call! She'll be here in a few minutes!

Vaggie: Good! Alastor, do something productive and get a container of cold water to help cool Charlie down!

-Hotel Door Practically Explodes Open-

Vaggie: What the fuck?! (looks over the railing) CARMINE?!?!

Carmilla: (struts in and up the stairs) Stop shouting, girl. Why are you surprised? Your father-in-law called me.

Vaggie: (glares at Lucifer)

Lucifer: (checks his call history) Oh.... I did.... shit..... I thought that was Sloth.... I'm TIRED, okay?!?!

Rosie: (tip-taps in) Hello, everyone!

Vaggie: ROSIE!!!!! Lucifer! Did you call her, too?!?!

Alastor: (holding a bucket of water) No, that was me. (tries to go into the room)

Lucifer: WHOA!!!! (blocks the door) What the FUCK do you think you're doing?

Alastor: I'm bringing Charlie her cold water. I think if anyone should be going into a blood bath, the prior serial killer overlord and father figure should be the one to do it.

Lucifer: YOU aren't going ANYWHERE near MY baby girl when she's at her most vulnerable!!!

Alastor: Hmmm.... (shadow phases along the floor and into the room)

Lucifer: SON OF A BITCH!!!!

Alastor: Charlie, dear! I've brought you some co- (sees Charlie laying on top of a mound of linens and towels with her legs hiked up, knees bent, and her lower half on full, bloody display)

Charlie: (panting, looks to the door, and her demonic features spring to attention) ALASTOR?!?!?! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

Alastor: (faints and falls backwards out the door)

Lucifer: HA!!! TAKE THAT, ASSHOLE!!!

Rosie: Oh, my stars! Alastor! (drags Alastor out of the room and sets him up to recover on the floor, fanning his face with a kerchief) Alastor, Alastor, wake up. Deep breaths, dear.

Angel: Ha! Smiles is so pussy averted that even when he spots one in labor he can't stomach it.

Carmilla: ....... (steps over Alastor's body and walks calmly to the bedroom) How far apart are the Princess's contractions?

Vaggie: They're coming about every five or six minutes and last about fifty seconds each. (follows Carmilla into the room) Do we need to worry about pushing yet?

Charlie: (gets wracked with another contraction and growls demonically into an ear splitting shriek) VAAGGGGIIIIIEEEE!!!!!

Carmilla: I believe that should answer your question.

[milksetters]

amen!

[chiib-foxx-artz]

War enseues….

Shenanigans are ensueing amongst my friends and I very silli

@darkxsoulzyx @vettryce @whittlore @galacii-gallery

[awhoreintheory]

In Eminem's Album "The Eminem Show" he has a song called Business that directly references Batman. He also has repeated references to Robin and Batman's dynamic throughout many of his songs right right are you following my thought train??

So it is logical to assume Eminem either doesn't exist in Peter's home universe or Marvel, or he has entirely different songs with more Marvel based super hero references. (The easier option is he doesn't exist tho)

I just think it'd be neat for Peter to discover Eminem in DC and I have literally no reason other than I love Eminem

Peter, running past Tim at neckbreaking speeds while rapping Rap God: youassumingthatimhumanwhatigottafotogetitthroughtoyouimsuperhuman—

Tim: dear god, Stephanie got to him

Jason, exiting with flair: yeah, good luck with that

Bruce, with a long suffering sigh:

Stephanie, wiping away a single tear: he's glorious

[janahanooo]

No one asked, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

Lets just say, "Yuu caused drama" is where Yuu makes the public belive they are in a relationship with the big guns

Yuu: to be honest

Yuu: I expected better from you Vil

Vil: *he was interviewed with Negie*

Vil: what should I have said? That Negie is better than me in something?

Yuu: isn't he?

Vil: you are so lucky I lied to the reporter that you are my lover

Yuu: yeah, how lucky. Deal with the concequences later will you

Vil:

Malleus:

Vil: look Draconia senpai, I-

Malleus: how could you Schoenheit... Child of man is my lover..

Vil: what? Last time I checked they belonged to no one.

Malleus: oh? Did they? That just means we have a healthy relationship, hidden from the cameras

Vil: tch

Leona: the fuck herbivior?

Yuu: what? I like drama... even if I'm now a part of it

Leona: cruel.

Leona: should I join?

Yuu: yes please, this is going to be such a good drama for the reporters

[ineffablesheets]

Big spender Bertie

Bertie: Dashed odd morning, what? Thought I’d pop down to the shops, get a few things for myself for once. Came back with a set of cufflinks, three books I don’t need, and a pineapple. Absolutely no idea how that happened. Jeeves, ever the solid sort, merely raised an eyebrow and sorted it all out.

Jeeves:  It is not uncommon, sir, for impulsive decisions to lead one astray. Might I suggest I accompany you next time to prevent such, er, diversions?

Translation: You’re not allowed out alone, sir.

[wickedwitchofthewesninski]

What if Neil had just added a "20" to his 4 tattoo. Like, just the moment he sees it for the first time, goes directly to an studio and adds 2 more numbers. Riko is giving tips to the press about Neil being part of the perfect court but when journalists ask he just tears the bandage off like "I believe in free weed for everyone, 420 blaze it motherfucker"

Riko would boil in his own rage

[mister-anomaly]

my magnum opus ... my shining star .. my piece that i spent like almost a month on because my motivation for drawing 6 people in one piece was NONE EXISTENT BHDSHJDJHBS <3

[magalidragon]

knell of a requiem bell | a smutty spooky Jonerys fic | 👻

Happy Halloween! 🎃 Enjoy this no plot smutty one shot.

Dany remained in a crumpled heap, her black and red gown thrown about her body, covering her in layers of lace and velvet. It was freezing, she realized, her body shivering. The adrenaline fading, she suspected, and she kept her eyes closed, forehead pressed to the cool stone floor, breath coming in sucking gasps. Oh gods, she wanted to sleep for days, she was drained.

But did it work?

She lifted her head gingerly, peering through wispy strands of her hair, focusing on the dim moonlight now filling the throne room without the candles to provide light. A light click echoed around her. Footsteps She blinked, seeing black boots in front of her. They were relatively shiny, expensive looking. They didn't seem like anything Rhaegar would be wearing, but...she didn't know what to expect from a returned soul to the earth. She didn't know how much time she had, and she lifted her head further, rolling her eyes upwards.

And stared straight into a set of piercing gray ones she had never seen before in her life.

Those gray eyes belonged to a man who stood about a foot from her, dressed in all black. Black boots, black skinny jeans, and a black-- really tight-- t-shirt. None of which had a speck of dust, which only made her slightly envious because she could never maintain that level of pristine fabric with three cats wandering around her house. The clothes weren't the only surprising feature, but also that he was, well...wow, she thought, taking in the sight of the skinny jeans painted on a pair of strong thighs, riding low on a trim waist, and the shirt pulling at the seams over a broad chest. A set of powerful arms crossed over his chest, biceps flexing. She kept looking up, she took in his pale, angular face, jaw swathed in a dark beard and loose dark curls that fell just to his shoulders, half of them tugged in a knot. He had a straight nose, which was currently wrinkled in the corners, and his lips– sinfully plump–were curled over sharp white teeth in a sneer of disgust.

The super hot stranger glared at her and opened his mouth, exclaiming:

"What the fuck am I doing here?"

[octonauts-daily]