#*also his life is sad earlier too because Bad Parents!!!!!! but i live in fanfic world so it's fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years

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Prove Them Wrong | Reggie Peters

A/N: I got these two requests for a Reggie fic and decided to merge them together, I hope you don’t mind!

Request 1: Please i just want a fanfic of reggie discovering YouTube and uploading home is where my horse is video and the gang reacting to it since people absolutely love it

Request 2: Hi!! Can you do one where the reader is julies friend and is with her when the boys come back and her and Reggie have a instant connection and he follows her around and is always talking to her

Relationships: Reggie x Reader, Sunset Curve x Reader, JATP x Reader

Warnings: Fluff?

Words: 4,165

Your life has been pretty ordinary for the past 16 years. A life pretty much every person would call boring was a life you wouldn’t change for the world’s most expensive things. Until you met Reggie and the other boys from Sunset Curve. You say boys, but it would be much more accurate if you said ghosts. Sunset Curve was a ghost band from the 90’s that popped into your life one night when you were helping your best friend Julie clean up her mother’s studio.

2 months earlier…

A text from Julie comes in when you’re doing your homework on your bed whilst watching reruns of Friends on your laptop. The show makes for good background noise, you find. “911!” Worry rises within you as you read the call-for-help text from your best friend. “U ok?” you text back. Three dots begin dancing on the screen, raising suspense. “Do u wanna come help me clean out mom’s studio? :( x” A soft smile plays at your lips whilst more dots appear. “Don’t think I can do it by myself.” You close the Netflix app on your laptop and get up to put some proper pants on. You had the habit to kick your jeans off the second you got home. Prancing around in your underwear after a tough day at school has become one of your favorite things to do, but Julie might not appreciate that too much, nor would the neighbors. “OMW!” you quickly text back and hop into your Vans before heading down to the Molina house. You find your best friend behind the grand piano, looking up at the chair-decorated ceiling of the shed. Something Julie’s mom did with a superstitious meaning you’d kind of forgotten. Neither you nor Julie believed it, to be fair. “Hey,” you greet softly, making her look at you. A smile appears on her lips, glad you’d be willing to come over and help. Like you’ve been so many times last year when her mother died. You’d be there to listen to her talk about all the memories with her mom, or to hug her as she cried because she missed her. This is just another part of the grieving process she needs to get through, and you’re there to hold her hand all the way through it. “Are you okay?” you ask, walking towards the piano and leaning your forearms on it. “Yeah, it’s just a little weird to be here…” she says as her eyes start scanning the entire space. “There are so many memories of her in here.” Her fingers glide across the piano keys. “Yeah, I know,” you whisper, not wanting to bring up anything that might hurt her. You remember the days you’d come over to play with Julie and you’d hear her mom singing in her studio. You remember when you’d make music together with Carrie and her dad and Julie’s mom. There are so many unfinished songs about bunnies and puppies from when you were kids, and even some more recent ones about the person you had a crush on or about that boy that broke your heart when you were fifteen. Those songs are now stored away in the back of your mind, waiting for the day Julie would start singing again. Along with all those memories you put on tape. “Let’s get crackin’!” you tap the top of the piano in a rhythmic beat before stepping away and holding out your hands for Julie to take. The girl gets up from the stool behind the piano and carefully places her hand in yours. You pull her away from the piano and halt in the middle of the garage, looking up to the loft that suddenly seems very looming. Both of you know whatever’s up there is the ghost of a musician’s past, and not even Julie’s mom’s. No, all the instruments up there are from the people that used to live here. Julie never told you, but you’re certain Carrie’s dad used to live here when he was a child and sold his parents’ house to Julie’s parents when they died. You’d noticed the way Trevor always stood in the doorway, glancing around with soft eyes and a tender smile tugging at his lips. Almost like he’s reminiscing about his past. Besides, he’s accidentally slipped up a few times when talking about his childhood, saying he used to play around here with some of his buddies. No one else ever mentioned it, so you didn’t either. There’s probably a good reason for him not to speak about his past in too much detail. You climb up the stairs first and step up on the wooden floor, letting your eyes scan over all the junk up here. Keyboards, old guitars, drumsticks, even an entire drum kit, along with bags and backpacks, all strewn around the place. “Y/N,” Julie’s voice makes you snap out of your thoughts. You look down to find Julie still on the stairs, half of her body in he loft. She’s holding a CD up to show you. “Sunset Curve?” you read aloud from the black CD case. “Never heard of that band.” “Let’s give it a listen?” she suggests and after receiving an agreeing nod from you, she climbs down again, followed by yourself. She places the CD into the stereo whilst you sit down on the couch. Julie presses play and joins you. “1-2-3 Take off, last stop Countdown till we blast open the top Face first, full charge--” The music fades away as it’s overpowered by a loud screeching noise. You look over at Julie, who has her hands up to her ear to cover them from the noise. Your eyebrows knit together, confused as to what’s happening. It might just be a fault in the production of the song? Or maybe a scratch on the CD? Before you can even come up with a decent reason, a bright flash lights up the entire garage, followed by a loud thud. And, when you look up, you find three boys in the middle of the studio, scrambling up from where they’d come down harshly. You and Julie quickly get up from the couch, wanting to take a closer look at the scene in front of you. “Woah! How did we get back here?” One of them says, confused about his surroundings. Julie lets out an ear-piercing scream before running out of the garage, leaving you with those three boys. You have no clue what’s happening, and you don’t know what to do either. Should you run and hide like Julie? Or should you just wait and see if they have a reason for being here? “Hello!” one of them yells excitedly, making you snap out of your train of thoughts. It’s the dark-haired boy with the red flannel tied around his waist that’s talking to you. “I’m sorry, who are you and what are you doing in our studio?” Your eyes widen at this. They think this is their studio? “I-I’m… I’m sorry, gimme a second,” you say, holding up your finger. The boy nods curtly before you dash out of there too, running up to Julie’s room with the question haunting your head ‘Who are they? And why do they think it’s their studio?’ After a while, you and Julie pluck up the courage to go back into the garage, armed with a cross since Julie’s positive they’re ghosts. Turns out they are. They -- along with Google -- explain they’re three ghosts that used to be in a band called Sunset Curve and that they died after eating bad hotdogs in ‘95. Luke, Reggie and Alex introduce themselves to you, and from that moment on, you’re certain these three ghost boys will change your life forever. And they do.

Present day

To say your life has changed since the day those boys came into your life is an understatement. It went from studying while watching Friends in your room to going out to their gigs almost every Saturday and sitting in on their rehearsals every day after school. You, along with Julie, have grown very close to the boys in the last five months. They’ve become your best friends you could talk to about everything and anything. But the most special connection you have, is with Reggie. Ever since that day, the boy hasn’t left you alone. Every time you’re at the Molina house, he’ll poof in, wherever you are. Whether you’re getting a drink or a snack in the kitchen, or you’d just come out of the bathroom, he’d be there. This caused a lot of heart attacks, but also a lot of deep conversations.

Especially if he came to your own house. This was mostly when he’d had a bad day or missed his old life or his parents. He’d poof into your room and just tell you to do whatever you were doing, that he just wanted to hang out. After a few times, you didn’t even ask anymore and he didn’t have to tell you to just continue whatever you were doing. Those nights even ended with the two of you cuddling, which is something you realized you could do for some unknown reason. But you liked it, so you didn’t think too much about it. Today is Friday, which means it’s the last big rehearsal before the boys and Julie have their gig tomorrow night. And though you’d much rather be there with them, you have to watch your little siblings for the night since your parents have gone out to a dinner party. You’re making some popcorn in the kitchen for all of you to munch on when watching a movie, when Reggie suddenly poofs in, making you jump. You hadn’t expected him to come in this early, which causes the worry to well up inside of you. Something must’ve happened. “Reg, you okay?” you ask in a hushed voice, glancing back at the kids in front of the tv. “No…” he murmurs, wringing his flannel in his hands. He looks sad, sadder than when he misses his old life, which means something really bad must’ve happened. “Gimme a second,” you say and turn to leave the kitchen. Reggie smiles a little as those words remind him of the first words you ever said to them. “Kids, it’s time for bed!” Moans and whines come from the little kids on the sofa, protesting their early bedtime. “No complaining! Chop chop!” you rushed them up the stairs before returning to the kitchen. “Get yourself comfy on the couch, I’m just gonna put them to bed real quick, okay?” Reggie nods agreeingly and watches you walk away again. He grabs the bowl of popcorn you’d prepared and takes it into the living room. Even though he can’t eat, he’d want you to snack on it since you’re the one that made it. “Sorry it took so long. They can be really stubborn sometimes,” you exhale frustratedly as you plop onto the couch next to Reggie. “Now, tell me, what’s going on?” “So, I suggested to Luke we’d try this song I wrote a while ago,” he starts solemnly. “Home is Where My Horse is?” you ask, remembering him writing that up in your room. You’d even helped him on some verses. “Yes, that one! But he just rejected it… Again!” he sighs exasperatedly, throwing his head back on the backrest of the couch. ��Yelled at him that he didn’t appreciate my talent and just poofed out,” he chuckles airily, and you do too. “I’m sorry Luke isn’t more open to your creativity, Reg… I really wish I could help you somehow, if I knew something I--” you stop in your tracks as an idea pops into your head. “What is it, Y/N?” he asks, getting excited as it seems you have an idea. “What if we film you singing the song and upload it on YouTube?” you suggest, eyes twinkling at the idea alone. He nods excitedly at first, but then slows down when he realizes he has no clue what you’re talking about. “What’s a YouTube?” he asks. You let out a giggle before grabbing his hand and leading him towards the dining table where you’d left your laptop. You open it on the site and show him the home page filled with different types of recommended videos. “It’s a platform where people can post videos of whatever they like. A lot of artists use it for their music videos nowadays. It’s where I posted ‘Edge of Great’ a few weeks ago,” you explain.

He peers at the screen with wide, intrigued eyes. You then lean forward and type in ‘Queen don’t stop me now’ before hitting enter. Reggie’s eyes widen even more as you press play on the music video.

“I could film you with my dad’s equipment and edit the whole thing together and upload it. At least then the world will see how truly talented you are and maybe Luke might change his mind too?” He eagerly nods his head in agreement, getting excited about the whole idea. Besides him being able to prove to his band that his country songs are worth taking a second look at, it’s also a good opportunity for you to test out some new techniques.

So, on Saturday, the two of you get up at the crack of dawn -- or you do since ghosts don’t really sleep -- and make your way down to the riding club your little brother goes for riding classes. You’re acquainted with the owners, so they’ll let you film whatever you need around there. Doesn’t even matter if it looks like you’re not filming anything. “Okay, you ready?” you mutter as you set up the first scene. He’s currently sitting on a picnic bench with his guitar in his lap and the stables in the background. Your camera is set up in front of Reggie with the stable doors on each side of his head, perfectly balanced. You simply nod your head curtly as his ‘action’ sign. He immediately starts strumming his guitar and singing out his self-made words. “Home, what is it really? Sometimes it’s a someone and not a place, It’s that feeling of being safe, It’s about who you’re with at the end of the day…” You spent the entire day running around the ranch, letting Reggie sing his song multiple times in different locations. You even film a couple of nature shots to edit in later. This is just going to be the greatest music video you’ve ever made, and it’s all thanks to Reggie. Your Sunday is spent behind your laptop, editing Reggie’s footage until it’s turned into a somewhat coherent video. “Hey!” Reggie poofs into your room late that night. “Where’ve you been? You missed movie night!” he asks, worry laced in his voice. You don’t even take your eyes off your screen. It’s almost finished just a few more… Yes! “I just finished editing your video! Wanna see?” He nods his head excitedly, so you make some room for him on the chair you’re sitting on. He seems hesitant at first, but eventually sits down on the very edge. Your entire side that’s touching his tingles. It’s always been a weird feeling to touch him, but this is from an entirely new calibre. You rewind the video and press play. There’s a shot of the surrounding nature at first and some horses galloping in the distance whilst the strumming of his guitar floats out of the laptop. Then the camera pans to Reggie on the picnic bench with his guitar. “Home, what is it really? Sometimes it’s a someone and not a place, It’s that feeling of being safe, It’s about who you’re with at the end of the day… and for me” The picture changes to Reggie looking out into the meadows, watching the horses frolic around in the grass with a couple of shots of him playing his guitar as he’s walking along with the horses. “Home is where my horse is! Riding through trees by the river Feel the summer breeze smile gettin’ bigger Home is where my horse is Don’t need a house or a roof I just put on the saddle, lace up my boots Cuz home is where my horse is” In the next few shots, you’re even in it. Reggie had grabbed your camera and placed it on the grass before grabbing your hand and pulling you out into the meadow with him to dance. It probably looked most ridiculous to any bystanders, but the footage is too pretty not to use. You can just about see two silhouettes dancing around over the grass with a flare of sunlight breaking in and giving it a magical flair. “I don’t need the streets Don’t need the city lights I don’t need a fancy car I just hop on my horse and ride” You’d filmed a couple of the riders too, since Reggie himself couldn’t really ride a horse seeing he’s a ghost and everything. But it made for some good footage to set the scene of the song properly. “Home is where my horse is! Riding through trees by the river Feel the summer breeze smile gettin’ bigger Home is where my horse is I see the beautiful beast running up to me And I know I’m home” The song ends and the screen fades to black, Reggie vanishing as he looks out into the meadow again. You look up at real-life ghost Reggie with expectant eyes. He’s just staring at the black screen for a moment, mouth ajar and eyes wide. “Woah!” he finally mutters. “That was amazing, Y/N! Show me that again!” he exclaims excitedly. Of course you oblige and show him again. This time, he points out everything he loved. “This is my favorite part!” he says, pointing at the screen as the two of you are shown dancing. You can’t help but smile at how excited he gets over this collaboration. “So, can I upload it?” you ask when the screen fades again. “What?! Of course! Put it on the Tube-thing!” he claps his hands excitedly and watches as you open the site and start the upload on the Julie and The Phantoms channel. You had edited their Edge of Great video when Ray asked your father to help him film, so you pretty much had the right to do this, even if Julie might say otherwise. “There we go! It’s set to upload in about five minutes!” you say and turn to Reggie, almost forgetting how close he’s sitting until he’s literally mere inches away. You can actually feel his hot breath tickling your lips. A wave of warmth rushes through you when you catch his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes and back again. “You’re really talented, you know that?” You simply hum in response to this compliment, not that you agree with him, but you don’t know what else to do. You’re completely frozen in place. His eyes are so pretty up close. They’re the most beautiful shade of green you have ever seen, especially with that twinkle in them. “Can I kiss you?” his soft voice makes you snap out of your thoughts about those dreamy eyes. “Wh--what?” you stutter, hoping you did hear that right, but not wanting to assume. “C-can I kiss you?” he repeats, his voice just above a whisper.

“Yeah.” Your voice wavers ever so slightly. Reggie’s eyes flutter close as he leans in to press his lips to yours. There’ve been times you dreamed about doing this, but you never thought you’d actually be able to kiss him. The ability to touch him was a surprise and a miracle, you didn’t think this would be possible too. A bleep coming from your computer causes you to pull away abruptly. You just about catch the smile on Reggie’s face before you turn to the screen, madly blushing yourself. “It’s ready to go!” you state excitedly and start typing up a description for the video. “What are you doing?” he asks, peering over your shoulder. “Typing up a little description for the fans, or whoever watches,” you reply as your fingers stilt for a second to think about what else to write. “Home is Where My Horse is, a Reggie original. Written and performed by your favorite bassist, Reggie Peters. Filmed and edited by Y/N Y/L/N. Special thanks to Hold Your Reins Ranch.” He reads the little text aloud. “Nice,” he nods his head, impressed by your abilities with this foreign platform. “And we’re live!” you inform him as you have pressed the post button. “Thanks, Y/N,” he says with a soft smile, making you look at him again. “I’m just gonna kiss you again, is that okay?” You nod your head before closing the distance between the two of you and kissing him again. This is not what you’d expected to come from this project, but you’re glad it had. This feels right. That night, you send Julie a message with the link to the video. “Give the boy a chance. This is an actual bop!” you sent along with it. You’re a little scared you might’ve overstepped and shouldn’t have suggested making this video for Reggie and you definitely shouldn’t have posted it to the Julie and The Phantoms YouTube channel. It probably wasn’t your place to mingle into a band conflict, but you couldn’t handle seeing Reggie so upset.

“Get ur talented ass to the studio. NOW,” Julie’s text reads. It sounds a little passive-aggressive, but you still obey and hop into some pants and shoes before heading down the other end of the street where the Molina house stands. “‘Sup, kids?” you say when you find the boys and Julie on the couch, throwing up a peace sign. The bubbliness might camouflage the nerves building up inside you. “Care to explain yourself, miss Y/L/N?” Julie starts with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. You glance over at Reggie. He’s glancing down at the rings around his fingers. “I’m sorry, Jules. But I really think you ought to give this boy and his horse a chance!” you aggressively point at the boy in question, whose head snaps up at this. Now he’s looking at you with a scared, yet tendered expression on his face. “I was joking, babes,” Julie mutters, holding her hands up in defense. “We didn’t think you’d react this defensive over this…” Your eyebrows knit together as confusion takes over you. “Wh-what do you mean?” you question. “Your video has been viewed over a thousand times already and it’s only been up for about two hours, Y/N,” Julie explains and turns her laptop for you to see the view count at 1,327. Your breath hitches in your throat at the large number. That’s how many people have seen your work? I mean, you would’ve watched it that many times in a row yourself because that song is actually amazing. These people are stupid for not giving it a chance earlier. “Woah, Reg! That’s a lot of people hearing your song!” you exclaim excitedly. The boy gets up from the couch and walks over to you with a proud smile on his face. “Actually….” he starts and scrolls down on the laptop. You taught him how to do that. “They’re loving your camerawork and editing!” He shows you all the comments underneath the video. The reactions are divided evenly between praise for the song and praise for your work. “Wha--” your eyes dart from Reggie to Alex, then to Luke and Julie. “We had a band meeting and we want you to become our band’s official videographer,” Alex announces with that soft smile of his plastered on his lips. Your mouth drops in disbelief. You’ve always loved videography and editing, but you always saw it as something fun, not as an official band thing. After months of sitting in rehearsals and watching gigs, you’re finally going to be part of the band. Or close enough to being a part of the band. “What do you say, babe?” Reggie asks when you’ve been quiet for a good minute. Luke and Alex exchange glances at the sudden use of pet names. That’s new. “I mean, it could be cool?” you shrug humbly. The band cheers, Alex and Luke even high five. Before you can even go over to hug Julie, Reggie’s already cupped your face and crashes his lips to yours. You’ll never get used to that feeling. “That’s new,” you hear Alex say when the two of you pull away. You need a good second to cool it after that passionate kiss, but once you do, you beckon the others over for a group hug. “Thank you, guys,” you whisper and press a kiss to Julie’s hair as a thank you. From that day on, you’re not only known as the Julie and The Phantoms videographer, but also as the cute bassist’s girlfriend. To say your life has drastically changed since meeting these boys would be the understatement of the year.

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#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #jatp #reggie jatp #jeremy shada #alex jatp #owen joyner #luke patterson #charlie gillespie #julie molina #madison reyes #reggie jatp x reader #reggie jatp fic #jatp fic #reggie peters

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louiseleblancdiggory · 4 years

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can you write something to rowaelin based on the song lost without you by freya ridings please 🥺 i love ur fanfics

This was supposed to be angst but it ended up being only a it angsty and a little fluffy? Idk, it’s quick and I think it’s cute. I would have posted earlier but I wanted my friend’s opinion first. Hope you like it!

Lost without you

Rowan knew he and his girlfriend were different.

He had known since the moment they had met, and every second after it.

Rowan was quiet, usually kept to himself. He liked nothing more than to study anything related to law and spend time with his girlfriend. Aelin, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. She was lively, cheerful. She was constantly dirty with paint, constantly sweaty after working with her sculptures. They had started dating in the beginning of junior year in high school, and the difference had never been something bad.

Until that Friday.

That day, as Rowan stared at his acceptance letter into Orynth College— the best college he could go to if he wanted to do pre law—, the difference weighted on him.

Weighted on him because Aelin wasn’t going with him.

She had gotten her acceptance letter the same day he had, but it had been a different one. A program, she had been offered, to travel the world and learn from some of the best artists alive. It was an extremely rare and exclusive program, and the fact that Aelin had gotten in made him so, so proud. He knew she wouldn’t—couldn’t— let it pass.

And that broke him.

Broke him because his girlfriend was going to leave for four years, and he didn’t know what to do. Neither of them liked the idea of a distance relationship, and there was only one other alternative then.

Breaking up.

Rowan loved Aelin like he had never loved anyone else, and he knew she loved him just as much. He thought it would have been easier if they didn’t love each other as much, thought it would have been easier if it was just a high school fling, but imagining his life without Aelin’s cheerfulness and mirth made his chest crack. Imagining his life not loving Aelin was brutal.

The following days had been hard. As both of them accepted the entrance, it looked like they were drifting apart more and more everyday. They tried to desperately hold onto each other, savor the last weeks together for the next four years. Rowan took her to every place they had ever been in a date, and Aelin drew hundreds of sketches of them. They tried to act like the loving couple they were, tried to joke around as if she wasn’t about to leave in two weeks. But it weighted on both of them, and they only let it show during the nights when they held onto each other so strongly sometimes it left bruising marks.

Now, standing on the platform Aelin was going to catch the train to Banjali, he wished he had held her a little while longer. She was hugging her parents and Aedion. She had already said goodbye to Lysandra, the brunette smiling at her best friend but tears rimming her green eyes.

“If you stop calling, we will hunt you down, fireheart.” Rhoe said, only half jokingly. He gave one last kiss on his daughter head and jerked his chin in Rowan’s direction.

The moment Aelin turned to him, her face crumpled a little, tears rolling down her cheeks. Wordlessly, he pulled her into a hug, peppering her head with kisses as she buried her face on his chest. “I will miss you so much, Ro.”

“I’ll miss you, too, fireheart.” He said, the words feeling too big in his tight throat. “I’ll miss you so, so much.”

“I’ll come back, you know? In four years.” She sniffled. Face still on his chest. “And I would never ask you to wait for me, but please don’t forget me. Or treat me like a stranger when I come back.”

“I would never, Ace.” He said and she cried harder. Aelin had always been close to her family and to Rowan and Lysandra. To be letting all of them go at the same time must have been brutal for her. Rowan wished he could do something, make her feel better in some way. But he also knew Aelin was strong and even though she was hurt right now, she would be happy eventually.

“I would stay. If you asked me, I would stay.” She said quickly through the tears. Rowan’s chest constricted, and a selfish part of him wanted to ask. Wanted it so bad. He wanted to have his girlfriend in the same college as him, doing all college shit together. He didn’t want things to change, and he knew that in that moment, if he asked, she would stay.

But he also knew that she was saying that because it was hurting, and also knew she would regret it later. And she wouldn’t regret Rowan, but herself. And Rowan wouldn’t be able to live seeing her regret the past everyday because he had been selfish.

“Do you wanna see the world, Ace?” He asked softly, his voice not that sad anymore.

She raised her face to look at him. It was pinkish, a few strands of her golden hair stuck on her cheeks because of her crying. Gently and smiling, Rowan rubbed his thumbs on her cheeks, taking away the strands. She closed her eyes, savoring his touch. Even crying, Aelin was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“I want to see the world.” She said opening her turquoise and gold eyes, voice firm.

“Then go.” He smiled at her again, leaving her embrace. She smiled sadly at him, but five minutes later she raised her chin, puffed her chest and got into the train.

And then she left, Rowan watching her go to conquer her dreams. The whole world if she wished.

And Rowan felt so, so lost in that instant.

————————

It had hurt like a bitch.

Rowan had never felt so lonely and cold. Had never felt so lost without her.

Aelin was a walking flame, burning wherever she went. And now that she had left, Rowan realized how used he had gotten to her presence, how much he loved her.

Much more than he had realized before.

Rhoe put an arm around his shoulders, taking Rowan away from the platform. Rowan was glad Rhoe was there as they walked home. If not, Rowan might have bumped into so many pedestrians, normal people just wanting to go home to their own lives, completely unaware of the girl who had left minutes ago in a train.

“She’ll come back.” Evalin, Aelin’s mom, said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“And she’ll be pissed if you spend four years single and moping.” Aedion muttered, and Rowan scoffed.

“I know that too.”

When Rhoe and Evelin dropped him off at home, he went straight to his room. His fingers itched to call her, but they had agreed that for their break up to be effective, they had to distance themselves a little, at least in the beginning.

He just stared at his ceiling. And stared, and stared and stared.

He loved her so much, and missed her just the same. Rowan knew he was in love with Ace, but missing her made him realize just how much.

He had been quiet and sad for the next few days. A little bit better the next week.

And slowly, Rowan learned how to live without her.

He would go out, he would laugh and joke with his friends. He busted his ass off studying for the next four years, always thinking about the LSAT.

He went on a few dates. Dated a girl named Lyria for a few months, a girl named Remelle for a few weeks.

Even when his life was back at normal, when it had been years since Aelin had left, a part of him still held on to that love he had felt when they were younger. It was hidden in the deep of his mind, a dormant part of it. He would think of her from time to time, smile at their memories and even feel a pang of sadness, but it didn’t feel like it was going to consume him.

Rowan had never forgotten her, and she made sure of it. They didn’t call, not once in four years, and she had never come to visit. But to every city Aelin went, to every beautiful place she visited, she would sketch a small postcard and send it to him. Never with a message, no pictures of her or whatever she was working on. Just the sketches and the name of the place in the back.

A reminder. She hadn’t forgotten him either.

By now, Rowan had hundreds of sketches, all inside a box under his bed. He would sometimes look through them, seeing how her drawing was improving. He remembered that sculpting had always been her area of expertise, and to see her drawings become so flawless made his chest burst in pride. He would smile every time a new handmade postcard arrived, and would eagerly wait for the next one.

Rowan would have never forgotten Aelin, even if she disappeared for ten years and didn’t give him any news.

But he had to admit, he loved to know that she was thinking of him from time to time, too.

—————————

“Rowan Whitethorn, future lawyer.” Aedion smiled, clapping his best friend on his shoulder. “Sounds rather adult-y, doesn’t it?”

Rowan laughed, taking off his green cap. Today had been their graduation day, all his friends receiving their diplomas in different areas. Some of them were ready to go to work, like Lorcan and Vaughan. But he was going to law school now, the same way Fenrys and Aedon were going to med school.

“We are adults, Aedion.”

“Don’t you ever repeat those cursed words!” He said, and Rowan laughed again. “I have the soul of a dumb eighteen year old. Forever. End of story.”

“I’m sure Lysandra is delighted by the fact.” Lorcan said, and Rowan almost laughed at the vision of his friend. It was probably the first time Rowan had seen Lorcan in something that wasn’t black, and bright green and silver silk weren’t really his thing.

“Even if he acted like an adult, Lysandra would still be miserable.” Fenrys added, a smile on his lips as Aedion tried to smack him. Vaughan and Connall only shook their heads, laughing quietly.

“Ok, ok. Now the present for the grad.” Aedion said, and all of them turned to Rowan, almost scary smiles on their faces.

“We already gave out presents. And they were terrible, by the way.” Rowan said, confused. “Who the fuck needs a bright red silk underwear, Fenrys?”

Fenrys smile became more sarcastic as the others laughed. “I thought it would bring out the green in your eyes, Roro.”

“I don’t want any more presents from the five of you.” Rowan said, almost pleading.

All their smiles widened further, even Lorcan’s. Fenrys was almost hopping on his feet. Aedion was the one with the biggest smile, excitement almost pouring off of him.

“It’s not our present.” Aedion replied, and his blue eyes shifted for something over Rowan’s shoulder.

Rowan’s brows furrowed and he turned around.

The sight almost made him drop to his knees. There, standing in a plain spaghetti strap black top, tight dark jeans hugging every curve and black heels, was the girl who remained the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Thick golden blonde hair falling in waves until her waist, creamy white skin tanned from her years of travel, pinkish full lips pulled into a huge smile and turquoise and gold eyes gleaming with mirth.

Aelin winked at him, and Rowan’s mouth pulled into an equally big smile.

She held up her fingers, a handmade postcard with the word home in it between them. She flicked her wrist, showing the other side with a sketch of Orynth. “I thought it would be better if I gave this one in person.”

Rowan laughed with so much happiness as he walked back to Aelin.

And Rowan felt as if he had found himself in that instant.

Tags:

@abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass @lexflame

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acciocriativity · 4 years

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The First Meeting ||Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter x You

Summary: Your life takes a 360º turn when you discover that you are a witch and that you are going to study and live in a world completely different from yours. In the midst of so much change, you meet a boy who is feeling the same.

Word Count: 2.4k

N / A: This is the first fanfic that I am posting on Tumblr, so it would be very important to me if you leave your opinion here and also English it's not my first language, if I made a mistake, I'll like to know and correct it.

The day started rainy, which is not surprising considering that I am in England, more specifically in the city of London. However, I, as an immigrant from hot lands, consider rainy days bad luck, because something always happens wrong.

And to my despair, today was supposed to be perfect.

It was only a month ago that I discovered to be a witch and for my happiness, it has nothing to do with pointy noses and pure evil. Apparently the only similarity is the hats, since in the two moments I was around real wizards, I saw several people wearing them.

My family, for the most part, being a completely devout Catholic, did not accept my new reality so well, not to say it was hell on Earth. In short, if I went, I wouldn't be able to set foot in the house again, as they weren't going to house a sinful witch.

That bearded gentleman was kind enough to help me find another place to stay, while my parents would think better of it. Although I was unable to thank him or at least speak after being expelled from my home, or old home.

I've been staying at the Leaky Cauldron ever since, but because of the latest events in my life, I just went out to buy the materials. Being a witch had cost me a lot and I wasn't ready to face that until yesterday. It took me a long time to decide whether to go to Hogwarts or not, but now the certainty that I made the right choice was growing in my chest.

Right after having breakfast at one of the bar tables, I waited seated by the person in charge who would accompany me to Kings Cross station, where I was supposed to catch a train. I knew about it the same day that I discovered the magical world but only today I was anxious for that. I must admit that I imagined that we would fly, obviously all the stories lied to all the non-magical children on Earth.

A few minutes later, a man in a turban appeared through the door and walked towards me, his expression showing no particular emotion when entering or even seeing me sitting, but what scared me was the fragility and fear in his voice.

- Miss Garcia, good morning, are you ready to leave? - He leaned on one leg while looking around worriedly.

- Yes sir .. is everything ok ?? The bathroom is on that side - I knew it was inconvenient but I couldn't hold my curiosity as I watched his expression change.

- It will be a short trip but we must go now, to not risk losing the train, let's go - his posture was suddenly rigid and his face looked shaken but this time, I kept my thoughts to myself.

At least he was kind enough to help me with the two suitcases, which were quite heavy due to the amount of books that were inside, I got some History of Magic extra books to learn more about that world.

And he was not wrong, the path was fast despite the light rain and wet streets. We didn't talk beyond the formalities, I just found out that he is one of my teachers that year, Professor Quirrel and nothing else.

As soon as my feet took a step into the station, the man said goodbye with a nod and left to go his own way with a weird expression, but I didn't care about that for more than 2 seconds.

I took a deep breath and started to walk following the small crowd of people who would possibly go to work in another city, since I didn't know the way to the platforms. Honestly, I didn't think it would work until I saw the license plate numbers, and I quickly hurried on, because mine was ahead.

- 7 ... 8 ... 9 ... 10 ?? - I stopped walking at the same moment I realized that mistake, there was nothing between 9 and 10 - I don't believe it ...

I stood leaning against a wall looking around as if looking for someone, but in fact I wanted to find a miracle or at least an angel who could tell me what to do in that situation.

Millions of thoughts crossed my mind within 2 minutes, most of them negative, until something drew attention out of my despair, or rather, someone. A red hair had just gone through the wall, it was so fast I could hardly believe my own eyes.

Two more people did the same before I managed to close my mouth and walk over there, in shaky, uncertain steps. They hadn't noticed me and I thanked them mentally for it, because I wouldn't be able to pronounce a single right word. The good news is that they were certainly wizards, by the way they dressed and the most logical conclusion is that they would know the right way.

I waited for everyone to cross to get closer to that wall, I couldn't hear the conversation but I noticed that the right way to enter is to run. Again I took a deep breath and looked around to see if anyone was noticing me, with the station full, my answer came as a quick no.

I closed my eyes and ran about three short steps until I felt a sensation unlike anything I had felt so far. The stone wall seemed to have turned into a wind wall and I easily managed to get to the other side. I immediately opened my eyes after hearing the sound of a train and when looking to the side, there he was. The Hogwarts Express was written right in front of the locomotive.

It only took me 10 seconds to notice the difference, the clothes were definitely different and there was an absurd amount of children and teenagers, as I was walking closer to the train entrance, more people were showing up, in a way I didn't know how to explain.

The trip was smooth to Hogwarts, I found an empty car as soon as I arrived but soon the seats were being filled and I ended up sharing my cabin with two more girls, I soon noticed that they were sisters and that was the initial topic of our conversation. They were nice and helped me get into the current context of the wizarding world, explaining the basics about Hogwarts as well.

- And he's here, the boy who defeated you-know-who's going to study with us! - the oldest of the brunettes spoke excitedly with a huge smile on her face.

- One of my friends told me earlier that she met him in the hall, what is he like? - the youngest asked even knowing that none of us would know the answer.

This topic remained for a while, until they decided to take a walk on the train while I read, enjoying some quiet time. Honestly, I wouldn't like to be in this boy's shoes, not only because of the tragedies in his life, but also because of the amount of attention, comments and theories about him.

But I cannot deny it, I would like to meet him, who would not be curious after everything that was being commented on?

People got in and out of the car where I was sitting and I tried to have a decent conversation with everyone, but then when two older students came to tell us that we should change clothes, as we were arriving. I preferred to wait because a hurried crowd of students wanted to go first, so I ended up being one of the last to get dressed, but one of the first to leave the train.

All the way the view had been impressive but nothing had prepared me for the vision I had when I approached the lake, where we were supposed to go. It was dark and it wasn't raining, the moonlight reflected on the water of the Black Lake like a mirror and I was almost sad to see that we were going to cross by boat, because that image would be blurry.

I could only see the outline of the huge castle on the other side, but it was enough to see all the splendor of that place and for a few seconds I was paralyzed absorbing the beauty of everything around me, until a voice brought me to reality.

- Only 4 people on each boat, kids! - I glanced at the giant man, who was talking animatedly to some students, before I sat down in an empty space.

As soon as we reached the other side, we gathered in a small group on the castle entrance stairs to hear one of the teachers. I remained behind and silent as I was paying attention, until I saw someone passing by and right after I felt a foot stepping on top of mine for several seconds.

- Hey! Can't you see I'm here ?? - I said indignantly but as low as possible looking at the red-haired boy beside me.

- I ... I'm sorry, I didn't see you - he replied without even looking at me, his face turning as red as the color of his hair.

I thought about replying but as the teacher was still talking, I just preferred to nod, accepting the apology. Only then did I realize that I caught the attention of two more students, a curly haired girl who cast a disapproving look at the redhead but smiled at me gently and at another dark haired boy, who noticed my gaze and shifted his look to the other side immediately.

It didn't take more than 15 minutes before we were inside that incredible hall, instead of a concrete ceiling just like outside, above my head was the most beautiful starry sky I have ever had the pleasure of seeing, with floating candles to complete the view. To my relief, it didn't seem like a common thing for most first year students, who talked quietly among themselves so I didn't look like an idiot admiring alone.

We were instructed to stay in a queue, I had no idea what was going to happen so I was distracted looking at the stars, which never seemed so achievable until that moment. I wish I could go up there and take at least one, but it would be impossible.

We walked slowly until we stopped in front of the other students, who were spread out over 4 tables, my eyes never left the illuminated sky and as a result, I didn't notice that I was too close to the boy in front of me.

I got my first embarrassing moment of the year in less than 10 minutes, because I stepped on the cover of the boy in front of me. All the consequences of that went by very quickly before my eyes. In a second I was out of balance and fell, but that's not the worst part. I accidentally pulled his cloak back, the boy fell out of balance and fell with me, his back to me. It hurts, too much. No more than the weight of my humiliation and shame, but it still hurts.

My face took on a pinkish tinge as I silently prayed that no one noticed, but that's not what happened. Today was definitely not my lucky day. I could hear half the room laughing and half whispering, so I knew for sure that I had made a big impression on people and a bigger one on the Hogwarts floor.

- Sorry ... I was distracted - I spoke as quietly as possible looking at the ceiling and again at him.

He didn't look at me for more than 2 seconds before looking away in that same direction and back to me again. His nod was minimal but noticeable and he soon stood up, which I had forgotten to do in those few seconds.

What surprised me more than anything in the last month was his hand extended to help me, it didn't take me long to accept the help and so I got up and straightened my clothes trying not to show shock. This was an act of kindness that I couldn't expect from my brothers, considering how angry they would be in a situation like this, but other than shame, I couldn't see a hint of anger in his green eyes.

- I'm really sorry ... - I said again, loud enough that only he could hear me.

The director had called everyone's attention, so most had stopped laughing although that redhead from before just stopped after the mini punch that the brunette gave him.

- It's okay, it will just be another reason for people to talk about me behind my back - he gave me another small smile on the side but his tone was not the happiest.

- And why?? I don't know who you are - I was curious because I had not met anyone important in the magical world until then.

I could see a flash of surprise in his expression but before he could answer me, the names started to be called and little by little the children walked to the stool, where the hat was placed on their heads. After that he didn't answer me, no one else had the courage to say a word because they were very anxious to get their turn and also curious, like me, to know which house the famous Harry Potter would go to.

- Potter, Harry - called the teacher with a serious but serene expression and a different look in her eyes.

From then on, the students' not-so-low whispers started again and I, who was already at the Hufflepuff table, could only be surprised to notice that the boy I dragged to my shame was actually Harry Potter himself. I didn't have the courage to look at him for more than 5 seconds, because again the embarrassment consumed me but this time harder. I only looked at him again when the Gryffindor table radiated in cheers and laughter as soon as he was drawn there and then our eyes met for the last time that night.

Harry Potter Masterlist

#harry potter x you #harry potter fluff #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #imagine harry potter #masterlist #fanfics #Potterhead #harry james potter #books and libraries

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h-hewings · 3 years

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**Tearful Memories (fanfic w/headcanon)**

(Perhaps not all revenants are evil, spiteful versions if their former selves after all. Maybe they resent what they’ve become and long to be restored…)

Being the most trusted friend and ally of Kitana, Empress of the Netherrealm, it was to nobody’s surprise as to why Jade was appointed as the leader of the Netherrealm army. She would walk onto the frontlines, flanked by thousands of demonic Onis, ranging from lumbering tanks to skilled flyers, and guiding them into battle. One of which was from a group of Outworlders, sent by Kotal Kahn, to retrieve Shinnok’s head and destroy it, preventing any possible attempts to resurrect him. The Osh-Tekk forces collided with the Netherrealm Demons, where blood and viscera painted every inch of the battlefield, with the Kastle looming in the background. And Jade was in the midst of it all, alongside Kitana and Kung Lao, using her staff to strike down any Osh-Tekk fool that dared oppose her. In addition, she also utilised her glaive, throwing it like a boomerang and managing to slice through multiple enemies at once.

The battle continued to rage on as the Netherrealm forces began to outnumber their enemies. It was then that Jade encountered a foe that made her stop dead in tracks, not because of the intimidation or their skills, but because she was curious about something. Her glaring red eyes were focused on what the male soldier wore and she made it out to be a mask of some sort, but a sort that seemed extremely peculiar. Nevertheless, she ended up dominating the foolish warrior in battle, slaying him with a decapitation, using her glaive. The head rolled off the shoulders, spurting out blood, and Jade reached down to retrieve the mask. Unfortunately, she did not have enough time to view it.

“Our enemies are getting some backup.” Kung Lao said to her. “We must be ready for them, Jade.”

“Understood.” Came the Assassin’s response, she pocketed the mask behind her chest plates and unsheathed her staff, ready to finish the job. More and more Osh-Tekk soldiers charged into battle, towards the mass of demons, and more blood was spilt, turning the scenery of the Netherrealm even redder than it was before. However, Jade’s curiosity about the mask from earlier is seemingly having an effect on her confidence in battle, as she was unintentionally letting her guard down more often. It got so bad to the point where she was knocked down and almost killed multiple times, before she had to be saved by her peers. Luckily, the Osh-Tekk forces were driven out, and were sent retreating from the realm, carrying their fallen allies with them, as the demons around them roared in triumph. Jade groggily stood up as Kabal dashed over to check on her.

“You look rough.” He pointed out, noticing a few bruises on Jade’s arms, as well as a noticeable tear on her tights.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Kabal.” She said back.

“What happened out there, anyways? You weren’t looking your usual self.”

Jade hesitated before answering, as she wanted to keep the mask she found hidden from the others.

“Perhaps my mind wasn’t in the right place today.” She responded.

“Ah, I see.” The speedster nodded. “I think you oughta get some rest to clear your head. Here, I’ll help you back.” And with that, he carried her in his arms and used his Nomad Dash ability to zip away from the bloodied battlefield and over to Jade’s Chamber door.

“Thank you very much.” Jade smiled under her own mask as she stood herself up.

“It was the least I could do.” Kabal returned before he dashed off, leaving Jade alone to enter her quarters. Once she was inside, she immediately locked the door and removed her own mask, showing off her ash-grey face, a mere remnant of her past, yet still just as beautiful as the day she was slain. She had a brief look around her chambers, a dark, gothic room with not much to it, apart from relics hanging on walls and shelves, from her past battles in the Netherrealm. Jade unsheathed the mask she collected earlier and sat on the floor, giving herself a chance to inspect it better.

The colours of the mask itself were not very vibrant or eye-catching, but what made it stood out the most was the shape itself, of a human face, as well as the way the green was painted onto the silver body. Jade made it out to be an old funeral mask, originally made in Edenia. They were typically worn for important events, permanent looks of gloom and melancholy as a vessel moves on to the afterlife. The fact that the mask itself was made in Edenia brought back memories from within Jade’s mind, flowing around like an old film being played on repeat. She smiled as she reminisced about the time she spent in King Jerrod’s council, and her eternal friendship with Kitana, beginning from a very young age, to the point where she knew the Edenian princess for her entire life.

However, one memory soon led to another. Jade’s mind then flashed forward to a terrible event in time, where Shao Kahn invaded and conquered Edenia, murdering Jerrod, forcing Queen Sindel to marry him and taking Kitana and Jade as his captors, where they were forced to serve him, with Kitana as his adopted daughter. The look in Jade’s eyes soon turned from wonder to sadness, remembering the carnage she saw unfolding around her, as well as the murder of her parents, as the realm was purged and left in unrecognisable ruins. Soon, the train of thought in her mind soon turned dark, as another horrific memory flowed into her mind.

And that single memory was one that she had relieved almost every day for years now.

She remembered the hand of a corrupted Sindel thrusting through her chest and ripping her heart out.

She remembered the final gasps of air leaving her lungs as the life drained out of her.

And finally, she remembered air inexplicably filling her lungs as she awoke in an evil setting. And what happened next stuck to her mind like a deadly tumour.

She remembered looking around, her mind in a complete state of panic, having died not too long ago. How was she still alive!? Suddenly, a tremendous burning pain was felt through her entire body, as she raised her hands up, seeing her mocha-brown skin decay into a zombified grey colour. Her eyes widened in horror as the pupils became colourless before flashing a dangerous shade of red. All of a sudden, she dropped to her knees, letting out a spine-chilling scream of pure agony, feeling her mind being corrupted and drained, as a result of Quan Chi’s dark magic. It was like her positive and kind-hearted feelings were being disintegrated to ashes, whilst feelings of evil, spite, negativity and malice took their place. This was a pain that Jade could never have imagined was possible and was far worse than her quicker, and even more painless death. Eventually, the pain ceased and the Emerald Assassin, Jade was no more, for a Revenant doppelganger had taken her place.

As the nightmare played out in her mind once again, Jade stared into the distance, traumatised and full of despair. Her eyes widened in stress as she heard screams of “SOMEONE HELP ME!” and “PLEASE...END THIS PAIN!” Unlike most of her fallen allies who accepted this new form, she absolutely despised it, both before and now. She did not want to be seen as a heartless monster, whose only function is to kill, as it completely went against her own morals. She felt less like a deadly assassin and more like a vessel for carnage.

Tears began to form and well up in Jade’s eyes, upon being reminded of her horrific fate, before she began weeping uncontrollably, her head lowered and her arms clutching the mask, as if it was a treasured relic. After all of the stress that has been packed onto her for years, Jade had finally reached her breaking point. Looking past the negative views on Revenants, she was still Jade by heart. A fallen hero who longs to have her life put back together again, but to the current circumstances, it was impossible. When all is said and done, she is merely the tragic heroine who just wants to go home…

Her cries were louder than usual. Typically, when she had her occasional emotional meltdowns, she would keep it quiet, smothering her noises through gritted teeth or a nearby pillow. This was because she feared that her peers would berate her for being weak. Her fears were about to come true when she heard the door creak open, and she tried to pull herself together, but she failed and continued sobbing in grief. The person at the door was Kitana, who heard her friend’s cries, but rather than admonish her for it, the Empress wore a look of concern on her face as she stepped in, closing the door behind her.

“My dear friend!” She said, her tone sounding worried. “What on earth is troubling you?”

Jade sniffled a bit and leant her head to the side, giving her a look at her broken face. Her eyelids were all swollen and puffy from crying and there were clear wet lines going down the sides of her face, from the tears. Her lower lip wavered before she resumed weeping, causing Kitana to kneel down to her level and comfort her, raising her head up and wiping away a few tears.

“It is alright to cry, Jade.” She attempted to console her closest friend. Despite being viewed as a strict, spiteful and heartless ruler, Kitana clearly showed that she still has some space left in her heart for the one person who’s been by her side her entire life. “Now, I’d really appreciate it if you speak your mind to me. I promise I will hear you out.”

After having literally all the tears drained from her eyes, all Jade could do was let out a depressed sigh.

“Everything is wrong, Kitana.” She explained, sorrowfully. “Through all of these years, I have despised what I’ve become, and not just me, but all of my friends. None of us deserved to be sanctioned to a fate far worse than death.” She looked down at her hands. Physically, they were changed to an undead grey tone, in contrast to her living dark skin, but metaphorically, she knew that they were stained with the blood of innocent people she had slayed throughout the years as a vanguard in the Netherrealm. “I know deep down, that this is not who I’m supposed to be.”

Jade shifted a bit before revealing the mask that she had retrieved from the battlefield. And immediately, Kitana noticed that is was an Edenian relic, worn by some of the maids during funerals. It was a tradition that carried over to Outworld, following the demise of Shao Kahn.

“When I found this mask,” Jade continued, “I was curious about it and had a look, reminding myself about how happier we were, before Edenia was conquered. But then those same nightmarish memories of when we became revenants filled my mind once more, something that has troubled me for years now.” Her voice began to waver off a bit as she continued to speak her mind. “Oh, Kitana. You don’t know how much I despise it here, living as an undead beast for all eternity...I- I just want to go back home!” At this point, she was close to breaking down once more but this time, she barely managed to keep control of her emotions, but not without letting a few tears loose, as Kitana comforted her, placing an arm around her shoulder. She waited until Jade faced her because she, too, had something she wanted to get off her back.

“I know the pain that you feel, Jade.” The Empress began to explain, as Jade looked into her glowing, ruby-like eyes.

“You do?”

“Indeed. I fully agree with you that none of us deserved this fate and deep down, I had even regretted my actions against innocent people. In fact, I used to gently cry myself to sleep for a few nights, whenever one of those situations occur, because I knew that the real Kitana would never mercilessly kill.” As Kitana continued to speak, Jade perked her head up, beginning to understand a bit more about her ally.

“But alas, this is what we are now.” Kitana said, solemnly. “I’m afraid that there is no possible way to restore Edenia at the moment. But this is why we need to try and resist looking at the past and towards the future. Because with enough hope and motivation, I’m sure that we will have it brighter than any moment in our past.” She leaned her body down a bit further to look directly at Jade. “And trust me when I say this, Jade. When it does happen, there will be nothing to worry about. There won’t be any reason to be ashamed of what we are, no more bloodshed to cause around us, no more nightmares about the past. In the end, it will just be the two of us…together.”

Upon hearing Kitana’s heartwarming monologue, a smile formed on Jade’s face as she leaned towards her Empress to lovingly embrace her. Kitana returned the hug, gently wrapping her arms around Jade’s body, smiling and knowing that through hell and back, there will be no separating them. Eventually, they had to split and Kitana returned to her own Chambers as Jade prepared herself for bed and laid down on the soft mattress.

Before she drifted off to sleep, she wanted to take in every word that Kitana said. She had been taught that in order to progress in life, she needed to try and not let the past haunt or shame her. She knew that eventually, the nightmare will be over and she, Kitana, Liu Kang, Kung Lao and others will be free from this curse, able to live their lives. But until then, all she can do is be hopeful, and that is more than enough to ensure herself a better future.

(Thanks for reading! Basically, my hc for Revenant Jade is similar to Kung Lao’s ending in MKX, in that she despises her life as a revenant and longs to be restored, along with her allies. I wish NRS added something like this to give the Revs more personality rather than jobber minions. I imagine Jade & Kung Lao leaving the gang and finding a way to change them back, Liu Kang embracing the evil and planning on invading Earthrealm whilst Kitana is torn between choosing her boyfriend and her best friend)

#mortal kombat #jade #kitana #kitanaxjade #jadexkitana #revenants #i want to cry #headcanon #wholesome #comfort #sadness #ptsd #fanfic

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wildbootsappeared · 4 years

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Continental Divides Chapter Discussion #0: Humble Origins/Editing and Rewriting

I recently enjoyed hearing Negrek talk about the behind-the-scenes of the most recent chapter of Salvage and was inspired: I figure some of you might be interested in hearing some of that type of thing for Divides, too. CD touches on some pretty complicated subjects (historical events and politics and glazed-over-science) that are worth teasing apart a little more. So I’m going to start slowly adding in some chapter reflection posts! Keep in mind that these will probably be full of spoilers, and you’ll want to get caught up before you read em.

If you want to hear me talk about something specific, feel free to shoot me a question.

(By the way, if you’re not reading Salvage yet—fam, get on my level. I’d describe it as a black humor odd-couple tale of … friendship??? Hm, that’s definitely not the right word, is it? Anyway! Featuring: an absolute goblin of a pokemorph, dismemberment, corruption, and Very Good Decisions. And lovely prose, by the way.)

With that, let’s get into it!

(CD spoilers below!)

Art by Giulia Bernardelli

From Humble Origins

I’ve mentioned before that Mark and Natalie were my first original characters. They were side characters in my first ever fic from … god, 2003 or 2004-ish? So in many ways, they’ve grown up with me.

I learned about fanfic shortly after Ruby and Sapphire came out in the US, so of course baby OSJ had to try her hand at a Hoenn journey fic. I’m really sad that I don’t have a copy of the original text anymore because it was hilariously bad. You see, Brendan and May had to run away from home (instead of just … journeying like every other trainer?) because they were IN LOVE (after, like, a day and a half at most) but their parents WOULDN’T LET THEM BE TOGETHER. The story featured dazzling moments of creative genius like … Brendan and May “sneaking” into Rustboro at the wee hour of 10 am, whereupon May ran into a lamp post somehow.

Later, Mark and Natalie appear to yell at our poor heroes and then at each other. Lots of yelling. In their first inception, Mark and Nat were basically discount Jesse and James but with less dress-up and queer subtext. Mark had a glorious moment of running while dragging his feet (?). Also, during a double battle against Brendan and May, I forgot about his zubat, so it fainted because “it was tired from flying,” despite having no feet and despite taking zero hits during the fight. Then Mark took shelter from the rain under a tree, where Natalie yelled at him some more and decided for both of them that they had to team up “temporarily” to get the red and blue orbs back from those meddling kids or something. I had grand plans for this whole plot where Natalie would kidnap May to get the orbs, but then May would end up in Magma’s hands (like a human hot potato), and Brendan would have to rescue her??? Something, something, Mark and Natalie see the error of their ways and team up to help Brendan and May … do stuff?

Anyway, I never finished it, and that’s definitely for the best.

I did revisit Mark and Natalie a few years later, though, this time for a story of their own called Out of Hand. I didn’t finish that one either, but I do have the original text this time (plus snarky comments and a “review” from me ten years after the fact). I can’t honestly tell you it was … good. Maybe good-for-a-highschooler. But! When I stumbled upon it again in 2018, there was enough in it that almost worked that I started to think about how I’d handle those themes and characters as an adult.

A lot has changed since then, but that 2010 draft of Out of Hand established some of the skeleton of Continental Divides. For example, that was when Archie became Natalie’s brother to help explain how she got involved in Aqua. I decided to keep that structure because it was a good way to let Natalie start as a neutral party/reader proxy and then quickly become embroiled in the conflict. It was also the first time Mark’s sister appeared, though I don’t think I’d decided what to do with her at the time except to use her as decorations in his angsty dreams, haha. His smoking habit also started in 2010. I, too, thought he’d quit “years ago,” in literal real time. Jokes on me—it turned out to be a useful way to signal the start of him losing control, the negative influence of Cora/Magma in his life, his hypocrisy, and his guilty feelings about things he’s burned. Scarlet appeared for the first time in this draft, too. I think I was equal parts trying to humanize Archie and to write my way through feelings about growing apart from/pining for someone. Her backstory took up a disproportionate number of pages in the old draft, but I liked the idea of keeping her around as a figure who could complicate Natalie’s relationship with Aqua and with Archie. The 2010 has a couple fights between Mark and Natalie that I respect for bringing real danger to the protagonists ... but also can’t help laughing at. They literally fight until they tumble over a waterfall, like a cartoon. Silly as those scenes are, you can also see how they laid a foundation for scenes like the fight in Chapter 9.

CD is basically me responding to Out of Hand with, “I see you and I raise you.”

2010-OSJ had some vague feelings about inequality and environmentalism, but none of it was very well thought-out. She mostly wanted to tell an enemies-to-lovers story, in part because she thought she was living in one IRL. Nowadays, I’ve got a lot of feelings about climate change, political divisions, activism and responsibility, corporations, policing, and whether or not violence is a good answer to certain kinds of questions. Hoenn is a safe space to explore those feelings. (It’s got pokemon, so it’s inherently more fun, right???)

Kyogre and Groudon are such obvious parallels to sea level rise/more intense storms and rising temperatures/wildfires respectively that I couldn’t resist. And in Magma/Aqua I see a lot of parallels to political conflicts happening in the US right now. The far left and the far right don’t share a vision of what a “better world” would look like, but they do share a mutual mistrust of “the swamp” and all the ways the government tag-teams with corporations to dunk on ordinary people. I’d love to believe that someday we could team up across the aisle to fight corruption together. It’s certainly hard to imagine how we could get to a better world with one half of the country pitted against each other … Something has got to give eventually, probably not peacefully.

My versions of Magma and Aqua aren’t exact parallels to the US political left and right—both are pretty left-leaning, for one—but I still find a lot of hope in the idea of two enemies from rival factions learning to (eventually) care for one another and work together towards common goals. At the very least, it’s something I can manifest and control on the page, and that makes me feel better about all the things I can’t control.

Editing and Rewriting

My first attempt at Continental Divides was inarguably an improvement on earlier versions of Mark and Natalie … but it still took quite a bit of rewriting to get to the draft that’s available to read now. The first draft in 2018 opened with what’s now Chapter 3, the protest in Rustboro. I had the right idea with “starting at the beginning,” but starting with an action scene was the wrong move: we didn’t know enough about Natalie to care when she was in trouble or to understand why she was making any of those choices. Moreover, even though the political content is important, this is ultimately still an enemies-to-lovers story: the beginning needed to center Mark and Natalie’s relationship. You know, to establish some interest before it all implodes. The next attempt ran a little long, though, and the current version condenses their initial meeting and Nat’s backstory much better. Maybe the next time I start a new project I’ll have an easier time knowing what makes a good starting point, but this time there was a lot of swinging back and forth to find a balance.

If you’re interested in seeing how my first chapter changed over time, you can see that here.

I’m really happy to have a first chapter I know is a solid representation of the subject matter, tone, and writing level of the later chapters. Getting stuck in an editing loop is a real danger … but if you’re ever going to edit part of your fic, let it be the first chapter. A good first chapter is critical to keeping potential readers onboard. I can tell from feedback that I’ve stuck the landing now.

Hope you enjoyed this not-so-little reflection on the origins of this story!

Some music (Spotify links):

Night of the Long Knives - Everything Everything

MMMMHMMMMM - Four Fists

#continental divides #pokemon fic #pokefic #pokemon fanfic #team magma #team aqua #fanfic #writing about writing

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ghost-in-the-hella · 4 years

Note

From the prompt batch: 6. "I'm proud of you, we all are..." (Chloe and Max)

I hope you like really fucking sad fanfic, because this immediately got really fucking sad from the second I thought of the idea for it and only got sadder from there.

Content Warnings for: non-descriptive references to suicide/suicidal ideation, negative self-talk, PTSD, references to past physical and mental abuse, and implied anti-queerness.

---

It takes Max twenty minutes to realize that Chloe’s left the celebration and twenty seconds after that for her to realize where she’s gone. She makes her excuses to her family and friends - just a minute, be right back, gotta run to the bathroom, gotta check my makeup, gotta check on Chloe, thanks for coming, thanks so much, seriously Mom I’ll be right back - and starts walking across campus toward the art building. She turns on her phone as she walks and scrolls through the text messages that have come in since the graduation ceremony. There it is, buried under a stream of congratulatory texts:

Chloe: g2g

Chloe: sorry

Max pockets her phone and stares up at the art building. She can’t see Chloe from the ground - that’s kind of the main point of a secret hiding place - but if she squints she can just make out a thin trail of cigarette smoke curling up from the rooftop. She feels a small wave of relief wash over her. Chloe’s been a lot better lately about opening up to Max when she needs help, but sometimes when she suddenly goes missing Max still worries. If she’s hiding on the rooftop and smoking a cigarette, it means she’s still here.

It’s weird to walk through the art building and have it be empty. There’s always people around, normally: working in studios, hanging artwork in critique rooms, building sculptures in hallways, sleeping on the paint-stained couches that sag in odd corners of the building. Her key card still works for the studios, luckily; it’ll probably be deactivated in a few days, once she’s got all of her stuff moved out. The undergraduate studios - a series of loosely connected cubicles formed by moveable white walls - have mostly been cleaned out or at least packed up. Chloe’s studio, all the way in the back corner, is still a mess; the boxes they brought in to pack up their supplies are still empty and scattered around. Max slips into the odd space they found the semester Chloe got her studio, a gap between the moveable wall and the actual wall, where there’s a door that’s supposed to be kept locked but that Chloe figured out quickly how to jimmy open.

Max hated the rooftop hideout for the first few weeks after Chloe showed it to her. Too many bad memories. Even though the spot is nestled between bulky vents and Max would have to climb up on top of them to look down over the campus, just the act of climbing up stairs to a rooftop made Max’s chest close in on itself. Even after Chloe made it into a home away from the dorms for them both, a special place for them to get away from the pressures of school and life, Max couldn’t go up there if it was raining. Rain makes it too easy to remember another rooftop, another time, another girl who wanted so badly to escape.

But it isn’t raining today, and Max has to admit that after nearly a year of hanging out up there it really bears no resemblance to the roof at Blackwell. Every spot that Chloe can reach - and with her long limbs she can reach quite a lot - is covered with her graffiti, spotted here and there with the marks that Chloe nudged Max into making herself (“C’mon, Max, nobody’s gonna see it; I bet no one even remembers this place exists!”). The rooftop is littered with cigarette butts (“The world is not your ashtray, Chloe!”) and food wrappers (“There’s a trash can in the studios!” “Yeah, but there’s not one on the roof, Max.”).

And, of course, there’s Chloe herself. She’s swaddled in the blanket she normally keeps in her studio and stretched out on her back between vents, smoking a cigarette as she watches the clouds. It looks like she’s been using her mortarboard as an ashtray and her wadded up gown as a pillow. She glances over at Max as Max pushes through the roof door, and her eyes are bloodshot and watery. It doesn’t smell like pot up here (for a change), though, and Max’s suspicions are confirmed when Chloe quickly looks away and discreetly wipes at the corner of her eye with one hand.

“Hey,” Max says gently, closing the door behind her. She sits down next to Chloe, leaning her back against one of the protruding vents. It’s weirdly quiet with the art building shut down for the summer; usually the vents are pumping out all kinds of sounds and smells that are probably as bad for Chloe as smoking.

“Hey,” Chloe replies, her voice soft and slightly hoarse. “Sorry I bailed, I just--” She waves her hand around abstractly, sending flecks of ash tumbling down onto her shirt.

Max nods thoughtfully. “It’s pretty overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“Like… If someone says ‘congratulations’ to me one more fucking time, I don’t know, I just feel like I might… might explode or something, you know?”

Max furrows her brows but doesn’t say anything. She tugs at the edge of the blanket until Chloe releases enough of it for Max to join her under it. She presses the side of her leg against Chloe’s, solid and reassuring, and she waits for Chloe to go on in her own time.

“It’s just… I don’t know. I expected it to feel different.” Chloe shrugs helplessly. “I expected to feel, I dunno, vindicated or something. Like, nobody thought I could do it; haha, showed you motherfuckers. But it just…” She sighs. “It feels hollow.”

“I knew you could do it,” Max says quietly. She doesn’t want to interrupt, but she also can never bear to let Chloe’s negative self-talk stand.

“Yeah… But everybody else down there, congratulating us and saying how proud they are and all of that crap… I mean, I’m sure they mean it for you; I’m fucking proud as hell of you, too, but--”

“I’m proud of you, we all are…”

Chloe finally stops cloud gazing and gives Max a dubious look. “Your parents are proud of me?”

“I-- Of course they are.” The words are sour in Max’s mouth, and she blushes under Chloe’s scrutinizing gaze. “They know how important you are to me,” she insists. That, at least, must be true: she’s told them enough times over the years, planting the knowledge as firmly into their minds as possible. They still don’t understand what Max sees in her, it’s true, and they still don’t really approve, but certainly they know that Chloe is in their daughter’s life and she’s not going anywhere if Max has anything to say about it.

“Mm. Not really the same thing, though, is it?” Chloe flicks ashes into her mortarboard, keeping her eyes trained on Max’s. “And what about the rest of your family? Your grandparents? Your aunt and uncle? Your cousins? You think they’re all proud of me?”

Max loves her family, but she’s not as oblivious as she used to be. Even in the dream-like haze of graduation, she still noticed the glances her extended family - and her immediate family - leveled at Chloe when Max introduced her as her girlfriend. Her grandmother looked like she was taking a swig of soured milk when Chloe shook her hand. Her uncle seemed fine on the surface, but she overheard him making some pretty offensive comments behind their backs. From the look on Chloe’s face, none of this went unnoticed by her. Max decides to switch tactics. “Our friends are proud of you. And I’m proud of you.”

Max reaches across the short distance between them and laces her fingers with Chloe’s. That nudges a small smile out of Chloe that feels like a huge accomplishment. The smile fades, though, and Chloe clears her throat. She crushes out what little is left of her cigarette and leaves it on the rooftop. “I, uh. I got a text from David earlier. Guess he was actually paying attention when I told him about graduating.”

“Oh,” Max says as neutrally as possible. David is always uncertain ground.

“Yeah. He, uh, he says he’s proud of me.” Chloe makes a sound halfway between a snort and a sob. “Like I give a fuck what he thinks, but still.” She starts picking at her already raw cuticles, and Max gives her hand a squeeze. “Like… he made my teen years a fucking nightmare. He treated me like shit and made me feel bad about myself, and he hit me a couple times, but he made my mom happy, you know?”

“That doesn’t excuse the way he treated you.”

“Yeah, I know, but… He does care, in his own fucked up way…”

“He does,” Max agrees. “But that still doesn’t excuse the way he treated you.”

Chloe nods. “It’s just… He’s kind of all I’ve got left.” Her voice twists and she has to clear her throat before she can speak again. Max squeezes her hand again. “My dad always believed in me. He wouldn’t be surprised at all, y’know? He’d maybe be surprised I studied art instead of science, but I know he wouldn’t be disappointed. And he’d be proud as fuck. And my mom…” Chloe’s voice breaks again, and Max’s heart breaks a little with it. “My mom would’ve been surprised, probably. Ever since Dad died, I think she kinda gave up on me making anything out of myself. David didn’t really help with that, I guess. Fuck, I didn’t really help with that. But she still would’ve been proud, I think.”

“She would,” Max assures her. “She definitely would.”

“And Rachel…” Chloe mops at her eyes. “She should’ve been here!” she explodes suddenly. “She should’ve been right there with us, getting her diploma and-and-and fucking hogging all the cameras and charming everybody’s parents’ socks off because that was just-- it was just the way she was; it was just Rachel; and it isn’t-- it isn’t--”

Max slides closer to Chloe and puts her arms around her, letting Chloe sob into her shoulder.

She doesn’t disagree. Rachel should’ve been there.

Kate should’ve been there, too. And Warren, and Dana, and Juliet, and Alyssa, and Daniel, and, hell, Victoria, Taylor, Courtney, Brooke, Stella, Evan, fucking everybody. They all deserved this. To finish high school, finish college, live their lives. She can’t say that out loud, though, not with Chloe already feeling this way. It wouldn’t make either of them feel any better, and it wouldn’t bring any of them back, so there’s no point in saying it. There’s only one way to bring any of the back, and Max won’t do it. She can’t.

“It isn’t fair,” Chloe whispers into the crook of Max’s neck. “It isn’t fair.”

Max buries her face in Chloe’s hair. She smells like cheap hair dye and the cologne she put on this morning because “It’s a fancy occasion, Max!” and the cigarette she just smoked. Max breathes her in. “It isn’t fair,” she agrees. “But you deserve this, too. And I’m so, so proud of you.”

Max’s phone buzzes in her pocket. Her family is probably wondering where she’s gotten to. They want to take her out for dinner to celebrate. Give her more congratulations, ask more questions about what her plans are now, scold her for not calling or visiting more often. Chloe sinks against Max’s shoulder, her sobbing fading into sniffles. Max kisses the top of her head and holds her tighter. She settles into the blankets and gazes up at the clouds, stroking Chloe’s hair.

Everything else can wait.

#writing prompts #prompt fic #prompt fill #pricefield #LiS #Life is Strange #fanfic #yes i'm still filling these prompts it's just taking forever because sadbrain is sadbrain

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goshwhatismylife · 4 years

Text

( A Grian fanfic that Sam went to another school leaving Grian and Taurtis to do their own thing, they went to a new highschool and there is it more normal, yet Grian has a little plan to see if he does feel any empathy for people and their family)

( Ps and old fic that I made that I wanted to share and also me trying to write an sociopath :| )

( Contains blood mention, death, Sam mentioned )

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I'm not crazy, i'm fine was looking in my kitchen. I was searching for... My knife. A special knife~. I needed to do some... Dirty work today. Maybe that could give me some feeling, feeling of guilt, or happiness, regret, empathy. Real feelings. That, I don't understand. But at the same time, why are these feelings so important? Does it portrait who you are? Does it make your life better? Does it help through out your life? It doesn't matter, I know what i'm doing and nobody can stop me. I'm surprised that I didn't do this earlier. Anyways I just don't need witnesses, right? There it is, it was a dull cheap knife. I don't need to make it fast, if it's fast it makes it boring. If it's slow then you can hear more screams. That would be more enjoyable. Death. I gave a tin smile at my knife, ''kill'' I huffed. ''After school''. ''Just need to ask somebody out then i'll get em, easy!'' I told myself.

At highschool I was pretty popular, charming and beautiful, I heard rumors about people liking me, having a crush on me. The only use of these people who like me is to make them my 'friend', who does everything for me. Like 'friends'. Ofcourse lot's of people would want to know what I think about people liking me. They'd ask my opinion about that, I just give a bright smile and say 'It's nice to know people like me!' Then walk away with a happy smile. But, I don't care who likes me, I don't care if they lie, because they are worthless in the end. I'm the only important one, nobody else matters. People are easy to read. I grab my bag and put my knife safe under my stuff. I have never really been good at cutting, so I wonder what-, how that is going to happen. What does happen when they die? Yet, I don't care I just give them a fast way out. My bag had everything that I needed, I had my uniform on. I look at my reflection in the mirror. An empty pale person was looking back at me. I had pretty light skin color, but I wouldn't say pale. I'm just a little cold, I rub both of my hands against eachother. Warming up my hands. Then I put my hands on my cheeks, a bit of color came back on my face. There I look better, I gave my brightest smile. A bright smile to start the day. I didn't had food, so I'm just going to flatter Taurtis a bit and eat with him. Easy. I open my front door, I let my door unlocked but I do close it. Taurtis lived on another street but close. I quietly walk and observed good at my surroundings, to find the perfect place, a good place where no people would be nor camera's. A quiet place, maybe I could just make it simple, at my home. I also had some other people I don't mind to hang out with. But I wouldn't want to hurt Taurtis I need him for other dirty works, and he's to only sane one like me to do that. Together. I saw some couples and people walk around some people glanced at me, some said hello. I rang the bell of Taurtis's home, he lived alone like me, no parents and such. Sad that he doesn't really think like I do, I think if I meet Sam ever again, i'll maybe hang out with him more than Taurtis. I realized how much we think alike. I'm not sorry Taurtis I just do what is needed. What's best FOR ME. The door opened, ''O-OH, hey Grian~'', Taurtis smiled sweetly. I smiled at him, ''Hey Taurtis~'' I say in a seductive way, I lean against the jamb of the door, so he can't close the door on me. I saw Taurtis face full of surprised but then soften into a shy face. ''Could you do a favor for me, it would make me really happy!'', I smiled. People are stupid sometimes. They get to invested to other people needs they forget their own. ''O-ofcourse!'' Taurtis stuttered a bit at the begin but so happy. Ha, Idiot. Me and Taurtis are pretty short but are even tall. ''Alright...'' I grab his hands and go inside, ''..Let's have breakfast together'' Then I close the door. ''O-okay I'll make it!'' Taurtis says excited. I sit on one of his chairs at the dining table. ''How's 'ya day?'' I asked. While Taurtis was busy with making breakfast he talked about what he dreamed and talked about how he feels about other students. ''Hey Grian, do you like somebody?'' He suddenly ask. ''I feel like I like everyone as my friend!'' I say. Taurtis chuckled, ''No dummy I mean like crush!''. ''Nah'' I say, ''What about you, Taurtis~'' I teased him. ''W-WHA, I don't like a-anyone!'' Taurtis tried his best, to not give it away but that made it easier. ''Alright, I won't ask mister easy see through''. I laughed at him. Taurtis groaned annoyed, ''Look do you still wan't your food?''. ''Okay, okay I'll stop- for now'', Taurtis sighed. I forced a laugh. Taurtis gave me some tea, he knew that I like tea. Taurtis made some Miso soup with tofu. He puts first the plate for me, ''Ohh! That looks so good!'' I compliment him. Taurtis looked happy about that.I got an random person with me we talked for a while. The girl had short brown hair and a cyan highlight that didn't fit her at all. I went to the back ally. Where my dumpsters ''Hey can you help me for a bit!'' I shout. I got my knife ready. ''Okay Grian!'' The female cheered. I hid, she walked outside, ''...Grian?'' The woman said worried while she looked around, I grabbed her from behind, covered her voice. I had my knife next to her neck, ''Don't worry i'll make this slow so you can enjoy your last moments'' I said cold; I let my dull knife slowly slice her neck, she suddenly tried to get out, she duck her nails in my hand, trying to get free. I didn't bother, I can cover it... I dug my knife deeper in her neck, nobody can safe her, I know it. ''I hope you enjoyed our time together'', I whisper, I could hear her screams under my hand... Then it stopped, her screaming stopped, her body relaxed let go of me. emotionless I let go of her... It was pretty satisfying? Now I need to do something with this body. I grab a bag, And tried to make her so little as possible. And she fit, but it wasn't a pleasant pose. But it doesn't matter, she's dead, and nobody would know. I smile smug. I grabbed the bag and put it in my house and went in and grab my cleaning supplies. Need to clean this blood on the ground because, you can't have evidence, right? That's important cause if you wanna do more what people call 'crimes', I wouldn't call it crimes if life let you allow to do that... The blood was cleaned up now the body. I go to the further dumpster, from another house so even if they found it, it wasn't my house. So no proof and at this time nobody was around. It's already dark because it was Autumn. The street lamps where already on. I suddenly get a call while throwing the body, fuck. Why Taurtis, why now. Why did I had the sound on? Now I just give more attention. My clothes where still bloody. Because I don't want my new clothes smell like trash or DEAD body. So I just want to be done with it. I grab my phone and decline. Good that's better, I hope that doesn't happen again I don't want to get more attention while doing something that people call 'Illegal' so. I fast run back home, and closes the door shut. Again, I didn't feel bad for her, maybe because I never talked to her much, maybe I need to do to somebody who is 'close' to me. Maybe then I will feel something for them. I went for an shower. Then put on a onesie that was related to a fox. It was surprising how it still fitted me because when I was still with Sam we had a onesie night. I had a fox, Sam a bunny ofcourse he was overlapping his bunny hat, then Taurtis with a panda onesie that we made fun of him. Then Taurtis did a: No u, on me. And a fast short up what happend: we almost suffocated Taurtis with a pillow. But some nice comfy clothes and tea can make the day more enjoyable. My hair was still wet, because of the shower but it will get dry fast. I didn't need a hair dryer. In the air was still the rotten smell of flesh, that wanted to make me vomit. I need to get some fresh air here inside. I should open a window. Right when I put my tea on the table my phone rang again. I grabbed my phone. I sit on my couch, clicked on the green button. ''Hey, hey!'' I say, I grab my cup of tea of the table. ''Taurtis here!'', ''Yeah?'' ''Is she still here?'' He asked, ''No, she left sometime, needed to go home''. ''OH, did you enjoy it!'' , he teased me with an romantic voice. ''Hm, she's okay I guess'' ''That's not an answer!'', ''Oh and why did you decline?'' He said, about me not answering the phone. ''I was about to go in the shower'' I said empty sounded than I intended too. ''You could atleast talk to me before you showered!'', He said irritated. ''Your calls would last for hours Taurtis'', I chuckle. ''No it wouldn't! Maybe..'' ''Ehehe, your so funny Taurtis'', The atmosphere around me was cold and empty, like something bad happend around here, and it did. We talked for a while then we had to wrap it up. What is going to happen the next day?

I woke up, did all the important stuff, but I still didn't buy food, yesterday I just only ate snacks, no dinner. Now i'm really hungry, and I want to eat, so like yesterday, i'm going to flatter Taurtis and then he won't mind making breakfast again. Maybe we can have a sleepover, so he can make food for me. Good idea me! I grabbed my bag, I walked through the streets, I saw somebody hanging posters on the walls, ''Missing: Suko Yaeko, call: 31xxxxxxxx if found.'' There was an picture of the female. Brown short hair, with a blue hairlight and brown eyes. She's missing, sad that they'll never find her, unless they'll look through the trash. Whatever, I have perfect excuses. I just need to burn my knife so nobody can find out that i've killed her. I for a moment looked at the person who hanged up the poster. It looked like a female that is much older than me maybe in her thirties. Hn, i'm keeping my eye on her, if she ruins something then.. I tin smiled at the posters fast, I walk faster.. I walk at the street of Taurtis. I knocked on his door, and waited this time he was what slower.. I sighed deeply, then the door opened that caught me of guard. ''Grian!'' Taurtis say excited, ''Well, here I am, what are your other two wishes?'' I flirt. Taurtis face was getting crimson red, ''W-what!?'' That was the only thing that came out of his mouth. ''Eheh, I just want to make sure my friend is doing okay, since he might be scared a little to walk alone'';.. Could you just let me inside already! GOD. ''Pff, why would I be scared?'', he gave an annoyed sigh, but I could tell he was nervous for the answer. ''Well, that girl from yesterday went missing..'' I said, and walked past Taurtis and went to his kitchen and sat on the chair that I also sat yesterday. ''O-oh, tell me more'', Taurtis said, and raised his eyebrow. He sat down, then his stomach growled, ''Sorry I just wanted to make breakfast..'' he frowned. ''Totally cool, can you make it also for me, sweetheart'', Taurtis eyes wend wide, ''Ofcourse for you!!'', he went straight to the kitchen, and started to look around, ''Would you tell more?''. Taurtis said. ''Okay, i just saw posters about her missing'', I heard Taurtis making a okay noise so I continued. ''I think she went missing yesterday, since when somebody is missing on that day, the next day they'll report it to the people and start their search.''. ''Ohh, what do you think what happend to her since you where probably the last one who saw her, wait Grian..'' He turned around to me, ''What?'' I say confused and frowned. ''Are you sure you weren't apart of it!'', I shook my head, Taurtis shouldn't know, even if Taurtis was apart with murders and such, he shouldn't know. I can't trust him because he can turn his back at me in any moment unless I blackmail him. Not yet Grian, not yet. ''No, not this time, she wanted to walk alone to home'', I say confident. Taurtis expression change from suspicion to relaxed, and smiled, ''Good'' and went back to his food. He's to easy to lie to, I don't need to even try. He didn't change at all.I sat in class until somebody open the door of the class and asked for me, so I walked with the person, I saw some people gave me smiles, or worried stares. But I wasn't worried, I can easy do anything that they want me to do. I sat across some police officers, and they asked me questions about the girl what I did yesterday with her and if I noticed anything weird with her and about our relation and such. Most was easy answer, and I didn't even feel bad for her family. After that I went straight back to class, then when class was over. Taurtis went straight to me. '' What did they say??'' Then some other people also went to me. Sometimes being popular is annoying, everyone know's your name and if something happens to you everyone will know but everyone loves you and listens, and do what you want. But if your bit more in the background, most people wont know your name, either hate's you or just don't need you, you'll be known as the quiet kid and a easy target... But I guess it doesn't matter since i'm now here with my goals. I wonder when Taurtis notice that I don't really like him and use him for things, like Sam always did. Yet he doesn't know it. Sam 'loves' Taurtis, no he doesn't he only love him cause he can feel complete with him that's it.

That's it.

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#taurtis #grian #yhs taurtis #yhs grian #yhs sam

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terrifyingstories1 · 4 years

Text

elena is self absorbed. she’s also kind and caring and compassionate and someone who would die for the people she loves – and none of this detracts or imposes upon that fact. wildly enough, she’s a multi faceted and layered person with a variety of different complex traits, some of which contradict themselves and both strengthen and weaken her.

elena is obsessed with herself; more specifically, she’s obsessed with defining and dichotomizing and compartmentalizing and reinventing herself. and not necessarily in a malicious or even particularly self-serving way either (for ex. it’s different from how katherine is Obsessed with herself / more specifically obsessed with her survival and comes from and manifests itself in different ways), though it can definitely infringe on her ability to be a Good Friend and support her friends in the way that they need and lead her to over-identifying with people and projecting upon them even (especially after the accident, i.e elena feels she is a monster who killed her parents, which ultimately draws her to stefan, another monster also responsible for death. she feels more comfortable and more herself – less like a fraud – in the dark with the monsters; this feels like where she belongs, rather than in the light with human kind who she is struggling to connect to).

she’s obsessed with the framing of her relationship with stefan, obsessed with how it reads (everything about how she frames stefan being this person that ~brought her back to life~ and this love story and him as her savior reeks of fanfic and i just.. love it. her head space is so fascinating to me). she’s obsessed with Gloomy Graveyard Girl and acutely aware of how she’s gone from Popular Fun Cool Girl to Sad Girl in the eyes of her peers and slowly taking back the reigns of her life and trying with all her might to resurrect Queen Bee and Cheerleader and Social Girl Elena before deciding that rather than cling to who she was, she can reinvent herself as someone new.

and she does this time and time again. she does it with every loss, every heartbreak (new year, new me), and is giddy about the opportunity to do it again in college with caroline and bonnie.

you can also see it in the instances she questions herself and her issues with katherine. it’s there when she asks caroline what kind of person having feelings for damon would make her (what kind of person would that make me? not how that would affect her life, or stefan or damon’s lives, or most important of all CAROLINE’s life as someone who has been raped and abused by him, but how being a person who feels an attraction or anything more for damon would change who she is. she still cares about that other stuff, but this is the first place her mind goes. this new thing she feels will impact The Elena Who Loves Stefan And Only Stefan And Would Never Be Attracted To His Brother Like Katherine, The Elena That Is Supposed To Be The Anti Katherine, and it takes a minute to process.)

it’s there in season two when she’s crying and talking about how everything is because of her, too, just in a different way: elena’s not new to having blood on her hands (she’s still convinced that she killed her parents) but taking control of this horrible awful painful thing is the only way she knows how to cope with it, and thus she immediately decides that this is her responsibility, for a variety of reasons, but also because elena gets trapped in her head all the time, and for a single moment she’s allowed to grieve that not only are all of her friends are in danger, but that she is the reason for this and may be the reason that they all die.

it manifests itself in her relationships, too. she has damon compel jeremy because she can’t bear to see him in pain again after watching him mourn the parents that she killed, she needs to see bonnie after damon turns bonnie’s mom into a vampire because bonnie’s always been there for her and she needs to be there for bonnie. it’s not malicious. it’s not because she doesn’t love them or value them or want the best for them. elena doesn’t even realize it. elena knows that it’s all about her her her – as in everyone is always trying to save HER (and that’s another thing. elena doesn’t feel gratitude when the people she loves try to die for her – she feels resentment: because how dare they? how dare they try to leave her? how dare they not let her have this? how dare people keep dying how dare she keep being left all alone? that’s more about her abandonment issues, or at least stems from them, but still) and often at the expense of her friends’ lives and well being, and she hates that – but this sort of self-absorption goes right over her head. it’s also really apparent in her romantic relationships and often leads to jealousy and possessiveness and even a sense of entitlement.

as elena becomes more and more detached from the moral superiority and self righteousness she exhibits in the earlier seasons, this idea of Being Good is more about I Want To Be Someone Who Is A Good Monster than anything else. elena gilbert … is not a good person??? she cares about the people she loves and that’s about … where it ends, at least in the later seasons. she cares about caring about people who aren’t those people, cares about Being Someone who Cares About Humans .. and sure, does she care about the people she finds herself connecting and empathizing with? sure. but even that is limited, and connected to herself and her own issues and at best is …. I’m Going To Care About This Person Outside Of My Immediate Friend Group Because They Are Of Use And/Or Resemble Me Or Someone That Is Of Actual Importance To Me more often than not.

elena is capable of love and selflessness but also selfishness and being extremely self absorbed whether consciously or not. some of this is just a natural response of all of the trauma she’s experienced, and some of it is just her. a lot of elena being In Her Head and Obsessed is a way of coping and dealing. it’s actually a very.. natural response to mental illness, which can make you wrapped up in yourself and your issues even if you don’t mean to be and hinder you from realizing it. and not always in a bad way. elena's depression and ptsd do contribute to this, but i also want to make it clear that a lot of that is just Who Elena Is and who Elena Was Pre-series. and that though elena dichotomizes herself and compartmentalizes her multitude of selves, it's kind of important to avoid doing that as an objective viewer if you want to have a real understanding of who she is.

#re: i don't want to be saved #meta: elena.#abuse mention /#rape mention /#meta.#long post /#ptsd /#mental illness /#depression /#ask to tag /#this is soooo old but since i'm rewatching tevedee i am of course in my feelings #long post for ts

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 5 years

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13, 14 and 15 for the New Years ask thing?

13.) Most memorable Comment or Review?

On my fic, You Get What You Give: Ch. 37

HopeSilverheart:

Hii! Ah, so I've been refraining from commenting on this fic because I have a tendency to write long long comments and you get so many already I didn't want to bother you >.< But! I've been following this fic for ages now, the girls weren't even in Hogwarts when I joined along, and this is by far my favourite Tom/Harry fic, and maybe even my favourite HP fanfic overall. You have a way with words that amazes me, and all of your other fics are just as great, but this one has captovated me from the very beginning. I'm going to rant I'm sorry but I love this fic so much and I need to tell you how much I appreciate what you write!

I think what I like the most about the fic is the universe you've created... Without changing the universe at all. Everything is the same but nothing is the same, and I've never read a fic that changes things as well and realistically as this one does. Of course, nothing is truly realistic about magic, but your characters make everything seem possible. You didn't make Bella or Prue into some invincible witches, and you gave all of them flaws that are either already present in the original books or that fit perfectly with their character. The fact that both girls have this extraordinary power could make it seem as though they can do anything, but you tone it all down with the restrictions they face (their inability to focus on things they dislike).

And you've characterized Hermione in a way that I love, because instead of focusing on a 2-dimensional version of her that I'm so used to seeing, you made her into a - yes - incredibly smart girl but that doesn't just focus on her books. Hermione cherishes her friends and she looks to the outside, she plans and imagines and wishes for a better world, and that makes all of the difference. She cares about her classes, but she has ambitions behind that. In the original books, and in many fanfics, she simply comes off as a bookworm or even arrogant, but you didn't do that at all and I adore you for it! In this fic, we know what she wants to do, and she never acts like a pushover who simply tries to get her friends to work more: she's an invaluable part of their friend group, not only for her brain, but for who she is as a whole, and I don't know if I'm making any sense, but just know that I think you portrayed her perfectly. I especially love her letters with Amara, but I'll touch upon that a bit later.

Prue's characterization is the one I admire the most in your fic. At the beginning of the fic, she's easy to dislike; she cares about Quidditch only, we don't know much about her, and she got the "easy" life when Bella suffered alone. But then you add an entire other story to the fic and it changes everything! Lily and James' relationship and the way it influences Prue is - well horrible - but also fantastic. Because it means we get to see that everything Prue seemed to be was more like a shell of what she truly was. When her parents disappeared and she had to deal with everything, she started to become more and more likeable and now i love her! Especially her interaction with Salazar and the founders in this chapter! She spoke her mind and pointed out some very real things and that's one of the things I love the most about this fic! Although to be fair I love almost everything about it >.< And I was losing it when Helga was trying to hold back and Prue just quickly hurried out!

Then the stories you gave Neville and Theo!! Aah, it's always hard to deal with kids in bad situations, because it makes me feel so sad ): Honestly, Neville's whole home life breaks my heart. He's a kid who doesn't care for fighting but is being forced into it, and can't do anything about it :/ I loved the way you added Moody to his story, the way he actually helped Neville and trained him but wasn't harsh? He looked out for Neville in a way, and when you haev your whole family against you, one person can make a huge difference. AND a loyal group of friends makes a huge difference too! On Theo's side of things, it was very dark in the beginning, I mean his grandfather was awful, but I'm so glad he gets to live with Blaise and his mom now!

Which brings me to the group of friends! Wow, I mean, could you have created a better group? -

- Because I don't think so. You put together characters that we've seen in thousands of other fics, but in a combination that I don't think I've ever come across before. As you pointed out in this chapter, she gathered people who, like her, struggle with social interactions and don't find it easy to make friends, and that's why they fit so well together! They all had tough childhoods and their families weren't the best for the most part, and they met and yeah, they weren't suddenly best friends, but now they know they can count on each other and it's precious. I also like how you portrayed Bella in relation to the group in this chapter. We all know that Bella is their "leader" but I hadn't felt it until this chapter when they're without her and feel almost bare.

AH there's so much to talk about, I'm sorry this is so long! But Tom and Bella's relationship! Right, so it's pretty delicate to handle in most fics, because Tom is a lot older than Harry and you know... That causes issues. But you handled that problem in the best way. Because he was stuck in the diary for decades, Tom is fundamentally only 16 (or is it 17 now? I didn't follow along on his exact age). He wasn't really able to develop and mature when he was stuck in the diary, because how could he? So you tackled their age issue relatively well (there's always going to be some question of whether or not them being together romantically is appropriate and bla bla bla). And since Bella is aging faster, that makes things easier too! But their age aside, I love love love their dynamic in this fic!

Bella has always had this sassy, doesn't care about what people think, attitude, and it clashes to well with Tom's more traditional attitude, their earlier interactions were particularly fun to read, but now that they're friends and tease each other, it makes me so fond of them! They tell each other more than they tell anyone else, and it's so sweet to read! Their conversations are always full of sarcasm and learning and jokes, but when you think about what Tom is like, how Bella is his only friend, and how Bella cares about him so much no matter how much she makes fun of him: it's precious, okay! ): And I love you for making them into the best friendship. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to be so so happy when they start to see each other in a romantic light and all that (I mean, as if Tom would ever let anyone else have Bella) but I'm so glad you made their friendship so strong first!

Oh my god I could go on forever, there is so much to say about this fic, I'll never be done if I say it all! But the main thing that makes this fic different: how much of the muggle world you've incorporated into the magical one. It's not that Bella wants to stay in one only, it's that she cares about both of them. She has her friends in one world, with her magic and her roots, but then she has her job and future in the muggle world, and you give us the perfect blend of both worlds all the time! Bella makes people realise that the muggle world isn't too bad, not by saying "muggles are human too, we should care about them" but by saying "muggles can offer a lot, I am successful BECAUSE of the muggle world" and it works so well!

Her connection to Amara that led to the latter's friendship with Hermione (those two are such good friends it's amazing), and how we get news about the political situation through their letters, it's flawless! Nothing feels useless in what you write. There's letters and articles and writing and it's so well done! Plus, the addition of ice skating is genius! I don't know much about skating, but I sure know ten times as much now that I've read this fic! It's like a break from all the magic, but I never feel like it's boring or that I want it to stop: I love those moments when Bella does what she loves the most. Now that we've got competitions in the mix, it's even more fascinating!

OKAY, I could say so so much about this fic, I have too many things to say, but it's late and I'm sure you don't want to write an essay about this, but know that I am so thankful that you decided to write this fic. Thank you for the best Christmas gift ever this Tuesday, and for the extra chapter on NYE, thank you for writing! <333

14.) Fav fic you read this year?

The Historical Importance of Runic War Warding in the British Isles by samvelg. Harrymort, WOC-Harry, Drama, WIP.

15.) Fav fic author you read this year?

@samvelg-likes-things

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itsalliepg · 5 years

Text

While She Was Away (Zig’s POV) - Zig x Scarlett (MC)

SUMMARY: Zig's point of view after breaking up with Scarlett (MC) and her trip to London in The Senior.

PAIRING: Zig x Scarlett (MC)

WORDS: 4635

RATING: Teen

SONG: Waiting For a Girl Like You - Foregner

NOTE: Hey guys! Here’s Zig’s POV about The Senior events (I mean, their break up and how he decided to go to London to see her). It’s the first time I write in first person and I enjoying a lot getting into Zig’s mind LOL I must warn you there’s angst but if you know me, you can wait for a happy ending ;) English isn’t my native language. I write to practice and learn, so please sorry any mistakes. I hope you like it, and if you do, I’d appreciate if you like/comment/reblog!

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Then Scarlett closed the door and I threw myself on the couch. The last thing we shared was a dirty look. Not even goodbye. She was mad at me, and I was mad at her. Why did our relationship become that? Couldn’t she understand my side? Couldn’t she be happy for me, as she always did? She was always so supportive of me, when I decided to go to Hartfeld, when I joined the football team, the dance team, when my grades were tampered with…and this was the most important step I would take, I would leave my family, my friends for the biggest adventure of my life, and I wanted her to come with me! I was thinking about her too when I signed up for the teaching program, wouldn’t it be a life-changing experience for her too? I thought about how much inspiration she would have if she traveled to a totally different country, with a totally different culture, and she’s so intelligent, she could get a job there in no time…I got up and walked around the living room. I kept repeating her words in my mind, trying to find out what happened, why we ended up like this.

Did you even stop to think that I might have my own plans? Or were you too busy thinking about yourself?

How would you feel if I’d just taken it? Without talking to you? Without giving you a say?

So you’re saying I shouldn’t even try?

Is that all you think I do? I just laze around typing on my laptop all day? What about my career?

Funny, I seem to be the only person sacrificing anything in this arrangement.

Is that what our relationship’s come to? Either you give up your dream or I do? Zig, I can’t do this. If that’s how you really feel we’re done!

“If I really loved you”? Really? I’ve been nothing but supportive since we started dating. Because I’m the supportive one! The helpful one! The one everyone calls in a crisis! Need a study buddy? Want to throw a party? How about a cheerleader for your dance audition? Just call Scarlett! She’ll drop everything!

Well after three freaking years it’s my turn to be selfish, damn it! And if you can’t find room in “our plan” for my dreams, then I’ll make my own plan. Without you!

I mean we’re over.

That was rough. I was wondering if I should go after her and say that we could talk and work things out, maybe we could try long-distance like we did during the summer when she was in San Francisco, but I think I was too shaken after those words.

We’re over.

The tears I was holding came easily. I was mad at everything. At the world. At Scarlett. But especially at me. I couldn’t help but feel it was all my fault. I was in a trance when I suddenly felt Oliver hopping on my legs. Nala was following behind. I could see how sad they were. They knew something bad had happened.

_I’m sorry you had to hear all this, babies – I took Nala in my arms and scratched Oliver’s head – but mommy’s gone, and… - that was too much. My next words were punctuated by sobs – I don’t know when she’ll be back…for a while, it’ll just be daddy with you – I walked towards the room and saw Aylmer in his tank. He was also sad – oh, Aylmer, I’m sorry – I put some food for him in the water while I stared at her side of the closet, empty. It broke my heart even more. That apartment was so hollow when she was in California, but I talked to her every day, so it helped me to deal with her absence. Now she no longer lived here. But the sight of a whole wardrobe with only my clothes on wasn’t as hurtful as what I saw on her desk. The star necklace I gave her two years ago on her birthday, the first one we spent together. She never left home without it, and now…she did it. That was a sign that she wanted nothing more about me in her life.

I still thought Scarlett was being selfish. But she was right. She’s a caretaker, as I said a few days ago, she always put other people’s necessities over hers, and I always had to remember her she was important too. And she finally took my advice. She understood that her career was important. I was thinking about her when I decided that but…I didn’t consider what she wanted. It was really all my fault.

I lay on the bed and stared at the necklace in my hands while cursing myself a million times. All the fears I had when I met Scarlett came back to haunt me. When I saw her in the coffee shop for the first time, I remember exactly how I was dazzled by her beauty. All I wanted was a chance to talk to her, and then she helped me after I punched Sebastian, and fate continued to put our paths together. But even so, I was afraid. Afraid that she would get tired of me. Or that she would see that we were from different worlds. She was smart, had a lot of friends who loved her, a solid family structure, she had everything to conquer the world. And I had a damn criminal record that only gave me low-paying jobs and judgments wherever I went. I couldn’t give her a good life, the life she deserved. She wouldn’t be eager to introduce me to her family as her boyfriend. I wasn’t good enough for her. But she believed in me. In a way that I never believed myself. Of course, my mom and sisters believed in me, but having this support from someone who wasn’t my family, and I was so interested, meant the world to me. I almost couldn’t believe she said yes when I asked her to be my girlfriend. And we lived so many things together, and then rented this apartment together…I’ve never felt so happy in my life. I could have a college degree as I always dreamed of and had an amazing woman by my side to face the world with me. And during our trip we made so many plans, where would we live, children…I love her more than I ever loved someone. And now I screwed everything. That feeling that I would do some bullshit and throw it all away. And I did. Congrats, Zig.

My phone started buzzing and I saw my mom was calling me. I texted her earlier saying that I had good news. It didn’t look so good now. I let my phone ring. I was in no mood to talk. I just wanted to cry all the pain I was feeling in my heart.

Almost a month has passed since Scarlett and I broke up. I had no guts to unfriend her on FaceSpace, but I also didn’t want to see her. I mean, I wanted, but I didn’t know how I would react if I saw her triumphs she didn’t want to share with me. Sometimes I wondered if she thought about me, if she missed me as much as I did. She only texted me to ask about our pets, and as much as I tried, I couldn’t answer more than “They’re fine”. I asked the gang if they had news about her, but she barely spoke to them either. Zack only knew she was living with her parents and driving all the way to Hartfeld every day, and would get that study abroad program in London. Maybe she would do that interview in person. She really wanted to focus on her now. And I had no space in it. I wanted to be angry, but then I remembered I did the same. And I should also focus on the trip to Japan about to happen, I would stay a week in Tokyo to know the school that was assigned to me and visit the city. I should be excited, that was all I wanted, right? But I wasn’t. I wish she was with me. I only knew she was going to London because Abbie told me Scarlett was saying goodbye to her. I thought…it would be nice if I texted her wishing a good trip…I took my phone and started writing…but then I deleted it. I must have done this a thousand times. So I finally sent something.

Good luck in London. Be safe.

I started cursing myself again. Just that, Zig? How about “I miss you” or “I love you” or “I’m sorry”? I didn’t know why I couldn’t write more than that. I stared at my phone and Oliver jumped on my lap and licked my face, trying to cheer me up. But I knew he was sad.

_I know, buddy. I miss her too.

I was sitting in a park under a cherry tree in Tokyo and texting my mom. She was very happy for me, never imagined a kid of hers could go this far. And at the same time, she tried to cheer me up. That’s what I wanted, and I was doing my best to make the most of Tokyo, but each new place I visited, each new food I tried, each new Japanese word I learned, I couldn’t help thinking about Scarlett and how much she would love that. The smiles in the pictures I posted online where almost fake. This trip would be the beginning of everything, and I wasn’t as happy as I should have been. That trip was the reason for the worst mistake I made in my life. Was she thinking of me in London as much I thought of her in Tokyo?

I was in the library working on my thesis and thank God, I was inspired and everything was going well. Then I felt a hand in my shoulder.

_Hey, Zig. Sorry, are you busy?

_Hey, Abbie. I was just working on my thesis, but I should take a break now – she sat next to me – what’s up?

_So, I’m going to London tomorrow to spend a weekend with Scarlett – I felt a chill down my spine.

_Oh, that’s nice…

_Do you…do you want me to say something to her? – she stared at me until I finally said something.

_I just want you to let me know how’s she’s doing. If she’s okay, you know – Abbie nodded, she knew I wanted to say more. But I simply couldn’t, I don’t know why I became so coward. I could ask Abbie to tell Scarlett that I missed her, and still loved her after all, but the words never left my mouth.

_Okay, I’ll tell her – she gave me a reassuring squeeze in my shoulder before leaving the library. It was difficult but within minutes I was back in my thesis.

Abbie came back, and she suggested the gang a night in a bar to be able to tell us about her trip to London. Scarlett was fine, and that relieved me. She was having fun in London and the job offer was incredible, Scarlett would have a great salary, enough to live well there. I was happy for her, really. But it hurt to know she was going her own way without me. I quietly left the table and sat down on a bench outside the bar. All the tears I’ve been holding for almost two months have left my eyes.

_Zig, are you okay? – Chris sat next to me and I wiped away my tears.

_She’s fine without me, isn’t she? – I asked still sobbing – she loves being in London and received a job offer that she couldn’t refuse. Why would she turn it down? – Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulders – she’ll stay in London and I’ll go to Tokyo. I’ll never see her again and it’s all my fault!

_Zig, she didn’t say she would take that job, and if you sit and talk when she comes back, I’m sure you can work things out – I shook my head.

_I don’t think she wants to see me. After everything I’ve done, I deserve that. God, I miss her so much!

_She also misses you, Zig – Abbie also left the bar and crouched in front of me – she asked me about you, but I knew she wanted to talk to you, but she couldn’t. Just like you – she smiled at me, and I outlined a smile.

_You think she misses me?

_I didn’t go to London, but I’m sure she does – Chris messed with my hair like he used to do when I did well in our football practices – a strong relationship like yours can’t end like this.

_You were always so supportive of each other, and mellowed, unlike me and Tyler…I know you can work things out if you talk – I felt more excited.

_Maybe I could…no, this is crazy…

_What? – Chris asked.

_Go to London to see her, and apologize, and say everything I’m holding on to my chest. It can’t be over the phone. I need to look her in the eye.

_It’s a great idea, Zig! You should surprise her, I will send you her address.

_But I have no money to afford a ticket to London. I spent almost everything I had in Japan… - I could see Abbie and Chris exchanging a look.

_What if…we chip in and buy you a ticket? – I looked at Chris, startled.

_What? I…no, I couldn’t accept.

_Zig, we love Scarlett and you, you’re our dear friends and we want the best for you. If this makes you and her feel better, I’m sure the others would love to help – that was awesome. I started to cry again, but now with joy.

_I…wow, I don’t even know what to say. You’re the best friends a guy could ask for – I stood up and wrapped the two of them in tight hugs.

_So, how about you go Friday night?

_I could go now, Abbie! But Friday night looks great.

All the way to London, I kept thinking about everything I wanted to say to Scarlett. I repeated the words in my head over and over again. At the same time I had a pitch of hope in my heart that we could be together again, I was afraid she wouldn’t want to. After everything I did, she had a right not to want to forgive me. I took a taxi to the address Abbie texted me and knocked on the door louder than I wanted. I finally heard the sound of a key opening it.

_Hey…what are you doing here? – there she was. As beautiful as I remembered. It was almost four years since I first saw her, but she was still able to take my breath away. Scarlett. The woman I loved more than anything. The woman who changed my life forever.

_I’m here for you, Scarlett. I can’t do this anymore – I was so nervous I was trembled – Can I…come in? – she hesitated for a few seconds. Oh, great. She will slam the door in my face, I deserve it. But no, she moved aside so I could get into her flat. I sighed and looked into her beautiful brown eyes – I love you, Scarlett, and I made a huge mistake. The way we left things, I half expected you to slam the door in my face. And I would have deserved it. But…Scarlett, I can’t stand being without you – I ran my hand through my hair and sighed again – I keep thinking about our last fight. I was such an idiot. I was so excited about Japan, I didn’t think about what it would mean for you. You were right to call me on it. I took you for granted, and just assumed your support was a given. I’m so, so sorry Scarlett. I love you, Scarlett. I love you and miss you. Please take me back – the words came easily, better than I expected. She looked at me sweetly.

_Oh, Zig…I missed you too. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about you – she smiled shyly – it doesn’t help that my flat looks out onto a dance studio. Every Thursday they teach ballroom dance, and I think of our vacation – I smiled too.

_We certainly taught the folks at Golden Oaks a thing or two, didn’t we? – I approached her slowly, and took her hand. That was the first time I touched her after those two months apart. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her with just that gesture – I know I screwed up. We should have talked about our plans for graduation months before now. In hindsight, I realize you tried to bring it up, but I assumed things would just “work out” because we loved each other.

_What are you saying?

_Why don’t we have that talk now? And this time, I’ll listen. Please give me another chance – I looked at her and she just looked me in the eye. For the first time, I couldn’t realize what she was thinking. I didn’t know if she would fight me again, or let go of my hand, until she finally spoke.

_Yes, yes, yes! – she squeezed my hand and smiled, that smile I loved so much, lightening up her face.

_Y-you mean it? – I asked, stammering, eyes wide. That was too good to be true. Still smiling, she nodded, and before I knew, she launched herself in my arms and kissed me. That was our first kiss in two months and, wow, how I missed feeling her lips on mine. I held her as tightly as I could, but nothing seemed enough.

_It’s been too long since I’ve been kissed senseless, Zig – she smirked. Was she daring me like we used to do? I laughed, I was so happy to got her back. I just bit her lower lip and whispered.

_Guess I’ve got some catching up to do – I took her in my arms again and guided her against the wall while I kissed her as if it were the last thing I would do in my life. I was remembering everything, her taste, her scent, her warmth, the feeling of tangling my fingers in her hair, not that I had forgotten, but the reality was better than any fantasy. I lost track of time and stopped when we were both gasping for air.

_Zig, one. Senses, zero – she joked, but I could tell she was a little dizzy. I laughed at her joke, at the effect I had on her and all the happiness I was feeling. But we needed to talk.

_I’m serious, though. What do we want our future to look like? Honestly, as long as we’re together, I’m good with anything.

_I want…to go to Japan with you – what? Did she really say that?

_Are you sure? I don’t want you to give up your dream for me.

_I’m sure. Like you said, we should have talked about your placement beforehand. If we had, I would have told you to go for it. I knew it was coming after all. I was just hurt that you decided for both of us, and I needed to choose something for myself – I looked down, embarrassed. She noticed, then smiled and took my hands – so I chose Quills and gave it a shot. But now…I’m choosing you. I want to travel with you to Japan. I want to learn a new language. I want to explore the unknown with you – that was too good to be true. But after all, I didn’t want her to feel she had to go to Japan with me just because I wanted to.

_Scarlett, that’s amazing, but your writing’s important. Will you feel fulfilled in Japan? Quills sounded like a dream job.

_It’s definitely someone’s dream job. Just not mine. I’ve read Quills Magazine. They’re really influential in the European journalism scene, but I don’t think that’s my scene. I won’t stop writing in Japan. I’ll keep hustling. I’ll send in applications. But as long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy – she took my face in her hands and caressed my cheek before kissing me again. I rested my forehead on hers. That was everything I wanted. Japan wouldn’t be the same without her – I never dreamed you would follow me all the way to London – I pulled back and smiled at her.

_You should thank our friends – I told her about Chris’ idea. She grinned that way I loved – and they were so sure we would make up that they buy me a ticket back to US just for tomorrow night! I don’t know where I would sleep if you didn’t want to come back to me.

_Well, I wouldn’t let you sleep on the street, or at the airport – she smiled and hugged me – and does that mean you will be here for the weekend? That’s great! I’m not ready to let you go yet! – we giggled – and we should have some fun! I’ll show you my favorite spots in London, pubs, restaurants, parks, shops…

_By the way, is this dress new? – I pointed to the beautiful velvet dress she was wearing. I must not know much about women’s fashion, but I did know when an outfit looked good on her – I don’t think I ever saw you wear it. Did you buy here?

_Well, it was bought here, but by my mother. Did you know she also lived here when she was my age? – she told me about her mother living here, and we had an incredible afternoon together (she was happy when I returned the necklace), she took me to the Tower of London, then we had dinner and some drinks in a pub before I took her to my surprise in Big Ben (thanks, Aaron!) where we could satisfy our desires and show how much we missed each other. I have to say, I would never have imagined one day I would have sex inside Big Ben! But I’m glad it was with Scarlett. And I was madly missing having her body against mine. Sunday night came and I traveled back to Hartfeld, but I didn’t get on the plane before Scarlett covered me with kisses, and I, of course, did the same. The travel back was much better that the outward one. I couldn’t wait for her to come home.

The following Saturday, I was driving to Scarlett’s parents’ house. She was staying in England for two more weeks and asked me to bring back to Hartfeld some of her clothes that were in the Thomas. But I also something else to talk to them about. Very important. I told my mom about it and she gave me all the support I needed. Therese and Louis opened the door when I arrived. Both of them smiling widely at me.

_Zig! It’s so good to see you again!

_It’s good to see you too, Louis – I hugged them both.

_Scarlett’s clothes are already in her bag, but I hope you stay a little longer – I noticed that, although they were separated, they seemed to get along very well. I couldn’t say they were facing a crisis if I didn’t know. This was good. Maybe they were reconciling and Scarlett would be happy – do you want to have lunch with us?

_I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you.

_Nonsense, Zig. You’re very welcome here. And we’re so happy you and Scarlett are back together! – Louis said. I smiled bashfully.

_Yeah, I’m very happy too. And I must apologize to you, for everything I said and did to your daughter. It was the worst mistake of my life – Therese smiled sweetly at me.

_You don’t have to apologize. You two are young, are still learning to deal with relationship issues. If even older people have problems… - she glanced at Louis. But I felt more relieved. After what I did, I was afraid they would…well, it doesn’t matter anymore.

_Well, I’m glad you are not mad at me. Because I want to talk to you about something very important.

_Oh, what it would be? – Louis said and sat on the couch. Therese and I did the same. I was sat in an armchair in front of them. I was just as nervous as the first time I met them. I sighed and could feel my heart calming. Okay, Zig. You can do it.

_First of all, I want to say that all this time apart only made me see how much I love Scarlett and how lucky I am for having her in my life. When I first met her, I was unhappy with my life and all my dreams of having a college degree and working with something I like were kind of dead inside of me. But then I met her and she made me see how much I was worth and that I could do anything I want. My life changed because of her, not only because she inspired me to it, but also because I could see a future with her. I love her with all my heart and soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to introduce her to people as my wife – I looked at Louis – you said that day that you gave me permission to propose to Scarlett. But after everything that had happened, I don’t know if I still have it. So I want to ask: do I still have permission to marry Scarlett? – they had an unreadable expression in their faces, which made me even more nervous.

_Zig, of course you have permission! You make Scarlett so happy that it also makes us happy.

_Louis is right, Zig. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my daughter so happy since you started dating. You supported her through all the difficulties she had over these three years you’re together and it’s good to know there’s someone is looking after her – they grinned at me and I smiled back. Kindness was definitely a family thing.

_Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.

_And…Scarlett told us you’re going to Japan after graduation? – Therese asked and I told them all about the teaching abroad program while we eat. I had a wonderful time with my girlfriend’s parents and never felt so welcome somewhere before. What happened was water under the bridge and I got a new chance to make things right. I drove the way back to Hartfeld, thinking about how I would propose to Scarlett. The night before the graduation could be a good one. Louis mentioned he was thinking of making a reservation at a nice restaurant to celebrate our graduation and all our friends would be invited. I was already saving money to buy a ring, and it had to be a gorgeous ring, just like Scarlett. I couldn’t wait to propose to her. I was more than ready to take the next step with her.

While she was away, I thought that I had lost her forever. The days without her were the worst of my life. Since I met her, since I laid eyes on her for the first time, she never left my thoughts. But now I’ve got her back. And I would cherish that to the fullest. Because I knew what it feels when she’s not around. I would dedicate my life to making her happy. Even more than I ever did before.

#zig ortega #zig x mc #zig x scarlett #the senior #fanfic #choices fanfic #choices #playchoices

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mikafa1212 · 5 years

Text

Halloween Cegan Fic

A/N : YAY I’m back! and this time I come here to post my newest Cegan fanfic and this time using Halloween theme with Incubus!Carl <3

Here’s some preview of the story :

Title : Trapped in A Dream

Summary : Carl watched the moon from his bedroom window, he felt content with his life, but he also felt something was missing. He feels both happy and sad… he's still trying to figure out how that could be. Things that he was interested in, things that once made him happy, no longer does. He wants to have something to be excited about, something to look forward too again, so he closes his eyes and secretly wishes under the moonlight, 'I hope my life changes, and I hope I find something I want.'

He wished it out on a whim.

The next morning, Carl found something that, indeed, would change his life forever. Is it something he wants? Probably not.

it was a quiet Sunday morning at the grimes house, well, until a scream is heard from Carl's room. "MOM! DAD! Something fucking weird has happened!" Carl ran down the stairs as fast as he could, he quickly approached his parents at the dining table, they both looked worried.

He pointed at the weird thing shaped as tail with what looked like an arrow at the end. "What the hell is this!?"

He shook his newborn tail and tried to pull it out, which was a bad idea. "Ow!"

His parents gave a reaction he wasn't expecting. "Oh my God! My son has become an incubus! This is great news!" Lori was ecstatic while Rick just smiled. "See, I told you he'd take after us, Lori."

Carl gaped at them. "What kind of prank are you guys pulling?"

"This isn't a prank son, look I can see your new horns too." RIck said as he sipped his coffee.

Carl runs a hand through his hair as he approaches the nearest mirror to see.

His dad wasn't lying, there were two curled horns sitting on the sides of his head.

"What the hell is happening to me!?"

"Shuuush—Carl! You're gonna wake the neighbors, you don't want them to know you're Incubus, right?"

"I am... a what?" Carl cannot process his parent's words, it was… just too weird! They should

be freaking out with him, maybe take him to the hospital. This isn't normal!

"Carl, we have something to tell you that we've been hiding for a long time," Rick suddenly becomes serious, "Your mother and I have Incubus blood."

"Incubus? Isn't that a demon who sleeps with people?"

They both nodded.

"So, you're saying I'm that—an Incubus? Why the fuck would you keep this from me!? Is Judith one too!?"

"Well she hasn't presented yet, but probably," Lori corrected him, ignoring his first question completely.

"Are you guys serious?" he still couldn't believe what was happening right now.

But his parents weren't lying at all.

"Don't worry Carl! Soon you'll be feeding off the life essence of humans! How fun is that?" Lori beams at him, clapping her hands like a child.

"That's not fun! I don't want to do any of that!"

"Ah don't think like that Carl, once you start hunting you'll see just how great it is. Your mother and I go 'hunting' every week." Rick chimes in, giving Lori a little wink to make her giggle.

Why are they acting like there's no problem? This is beyond fucked up to Carl, "How do you even have the time for that?!"

"When you and Judith are at school. Oh and you know my weekly book club? Yeah, I don't actually go to that, those ladies are all pretentious bitches." Lori laughs at her own joke.

The puzzle pieces are coming together. Carl's eyes widen. He almost doesn't even want to ask his next question, but he does anyway, "... And you dad?"

Rick smiles, "I don't take any extra shifts at the station, and when I say I'm working late… we'll I'm working on something else," Both of them fucking laugh at his corny joke.

"But you said you needed the extra shifts for money. For all the debts we have to pay, your medical bills!"

"Medical bills? Oh! There are none, I was never in a coma. That was just a cover story. You kept asking why I needed extra shifts so I had to make it seem like we were struggling."

Lori cuts him off, "Yes, but the truth is we're actually quite well off, the men and women we see pay us for our—ahem—'services.'"

So while Carl's been working so hard, his parents were fucking like dogs.

"S-so you've been lying to me all this time? Why couldn't you just tell me?" Carl feels like his whole life has been a lie, and in a way it was.

"We have to blend into society, Carl. We didn't want you knowing until you needed to, and well, now is that time."

After a long discussion, and a lot more arguing, they settle on a plan. Carl wants to get the fuck out of this house and away from his parents, and his parents, well, they just want him to learn how to be an incubus that would make them proud, so they meet in the middle. Lori suggests Carl stay with an older lady named Carol, who is a drude demon, but she looks out after newborn succubi and incubi, and teaches them all they need to know. Carl says he'll stay there if he can take Judith with him. They say he can come back for Judith if he's successful with his training, and sleeps with at least one person. Carl scoffs with a blush, but he agrees anyway because how hard can that be? Lori writes down an address, as soon as the paper is in his hand, Carl turns on his heels, and quickly walks away.

He goes to his room, and only takes things absolutely necessary. A few outfits, his bookbag, some comics (because those are very necessary, thank you very much) and starts to leave his room. He makes it to the foot of the steps before he hears the creak of a door. His little sister emerges from the doorway, wiping her tired eyes. Carl hopes the yelling from earlier didn't wake her up.

"Carl? Where are you going? It's so early."

"Hey Judy, um, actually I want to tell you something, I'm going to be away for awhile, but I'll be back as soon as you know it ok? I'm going to stay at some place else, but soon you'll be able to come with me."

Judith starts to tear up, "Don't leave Carl. I don't want you to go."

Carl kneels down to Judith's height, she runs into his arms. Carl holds her tight.

"I promise I'll be back before you know it, Judy."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Judith holds out her tiny pinky finger, Carl smiles and shakes it with his. He kisses her head, then sulkingly descends the stairs.

As Carl walks down the street he gets a call on his phone. It's work. Ugh. He picks it up on the third ring, Andrea, his manager, asks him if he can come In today. He tells her to fuck off, then hangs up. He hopes she fires him. There's no point in working for that fucking job anymore.

Carl finds himself in a sketchy looking alleyway. 'This can't be right.' He looks at the address scribbled on his paper then he looks up at the one on the plaque. They're the same number. He uses the door knocker three times before waiting for a response. Just as he's about to knock again, the door flung open to reveal an older lady with a cigarette in her mouth.

The lady gave him a suspicious look. "Who are you and what do you want?"

Carl nervously smiles, "Uhm—my name is Carl, I'm here because… my parents told me to come here—wait—here is my mom." Carl gave the old woman a picture of his mother with some code on the back of her photo.

The woman took the picture carefully, and looked back at him with curious eyes, "Show me your horns."

Carl nervously looks around, before lifting the hood of his parka a bit to give the lady a glimpse of his horns. The lady rolls her eyes, and tugs on one of his horns.

"Ouch! What the hell, that hurts!"

The old woman wore a smug expression, "So you're not a fake. Good, now come inside."

Upon entering the building, Carl sees what looks to be a regular apartment. He smiles. The place is old, but it doesn't look too bad. He can see himself living here.

"Oh, I don't believe I mentioned my name! It's Carol, I'm the owner of this building. Upstairs is where the dorms are, you'll be staying there, but the basement is where all the action happens, let me show you."

Carl wants to go put his bags upstairs, maybe see what the dorms look like, but the lady, Carol, is beckoning him to follow her.

"Hey, what are you doing? Over here, sweetie."

Carl sighs and follows the lady to a back room which contains some very narrow stairs leading down to the basement. At the foot of the steps a curtain with beads is pushed back by the lady. Carl's jaw drops.

It's a large room, but a colorful stage takes a decent amount of space. On the stage, Carl sees a pole meant for dancing on. The basement looked like a tiny little club in itself. Carl starts to blush. He's never been in a club before, and this one is very suggestive. He can see rooms attached in the back, that he can only assume is where the "feeding" happens.

As if reading his mind, Carol makes note of the rooms in the back, "Oh, I see you eyeing up the play rooms," she laughs, "Don't worry, soon you'll be able to have lots of fun."

Carl frowns, he's too shy to tell her that he has absolutely no experience whatsoever. He's a total virgin.

"Oh don't worry, there's lots of men who like inexperienced youngsters too, and yes, they are complete garbage and perverts," Carol winks.

"Wait! How did you know what I was thinking?!"

"I'm a drude, baby, I know what everyone is thinking. You can't hide anything from me, virgin boy."

Carl blushes, eyes wide in shock.

"Now how about we go upstairs to that dorm, you were so excited to see, hmm?" Carol puffs smoke in his face playfully, before walking past him. Carl groans as he follows her up the steps.

After showing Carl his dorm, and having him put his stuff down, Carol ushers him back out of the room.

"No relaxing yet, let me introduce you to people who you'll be working with."

As Carol drags Carl out the dorm and around the corner. They see the form of a girl hunched over, picking up various articles of clothing. Carl bends down next to the girl and helps pick up a few things for her. He doesn't comment on some of the very suggestive outfits.

The girl blinks up at him, "Oh! Thank you… I don't think we've met."

Before Carl can answer Carol's already speaking for him, "Enid this is Carl, he's new, and Carl, this is Enid, she's a newborn like you, but she knows the ropes by now. You can go to her if you have any questions."

"Oh, it's nice to meet you Carl!" Enid jumps up and stretches out her free hand. Carl takes it carefully and shakes it with his.

"The pleasure is mine." Carl smiles. End is smiles back.

Carl's thinks he's just made a new friend.

Carl learned a lot from Enid. She told him that succubi and incubi can manipulate their form to manifest into whatever their client wants to see. She also told him that they could use magic to charm and seduce humans.

Within a week, Carl got used to living in the dormitory. There were a lot of nice people he met throughout the week. One of which being a succubus named Beth. Beth is very flirty and very experienced. She's been very helpful, which Carl is grateful for. Beth taught him more about magic, among other things, but she likes to tease him a lot about being an inexperienced virgin.

Carl remembers the first time he met her. She was playing piano with very thin clothes on. She was very pretty, for a moment he thought he was witnessing an angel rather than a demon.

After their first encounter, Beth told him she was surprised that he didn't try to come on to her. She laughed and said most incubi got boners just looking at her, but not Carl. Carl admitted he thought she was pretty, but he wasn't into her like that.

With Beth and Enid by his side, Carl started to feel less anxious about the whole thing. Enid even showed him around the city, saying that Carl needed to get out more, especially now that he knew how to disguise his horns and tail to look like a human.

"Ok! We're going to the mall today!"

"What? Why?"

"Because you dress like an old lesbian woman. You need some sexy clothes! All you wear are old flannels and band t-shirts."

"Hey! I like what I wear. it's not that bad…"

"Hey you can wear whatever you want in your free time, but on stage you gotta look like a total slut." She winks at Carl then, "Plus we might see some sexy humans. It's good to get some practice outside of the brothel too, you know? So what are you into? Girls? Guys?"

"Uh—I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it…"

"What?! You had to have masturbated before though, right?"

Carl blushes and looks away, "I have a few times, but I don't do it as often as other boys. I was too busy to think about stuff like that…"

Enid smacks his arm to lighten the mood, "Well, that's ok, we'll get you some new clothes, but also keep a look out for people you wanna fuck~"

Carl pouted. "Oh, C'mon! Leave me alone will ya!"

Upon entering the mall, Enid leads Carl right into an adult entertainment store, smiling wickedly. Carl blushes furiously, whisper shouting in Enid's ear, "Enid what are you doing!? We can't go in here, what if someone I know sees me!? This is way too risky!"

"Shhh relax Carl, we can pretend we're a young couple just looking to fun up our sex life~" Enid purrs right back into his ear.

Enid tugs on Carl's arm, latching on like a koala bear as they enter the store. She plays the part of a doting girlfriend well. Carl's shocked. He thinks she's gotta be popular with her clients if she gives them fake attention like this. Carl thinks he can learn a lot from her and her great acting skills.

After they pass the clerk, Enid drops her arms and pulls a straight face as she grabs a store basket, and starts throwing items in. She grabs some condoms, lube. Then she proceeds

further back. Carl follows behind, curious as to what she's looking for. Enid stops in front of a wall shelf containing various dildos.

"Ok, which one do you want?"

Carl's eyes widen as he whisper yells again, "What!? Why are you getting me one!? I'm a boy, dammit!"

"So? Boys can use them too you know, plus I have a feeling you'll like one of these toys a lot," Enid grins.

Enid picks up an average sized dildo, not too big, but not too small either, "I think this'll do for a first time toy. What do you think?"

She doesn't wait for Carl to answer, already throwing it in the basket before moving to another aisle. Carl huffs, blushing as he follows her yet again. Is she getting all this stuff just for him?

Enid stops in front of the lingerie section. Carl watches in horror as she puts in pair of netted stockings with a garter belt. Furthermore, she grabs a plaid skirt, and off the shoulder black long sleeve shirt, and finally a black lace collar. She puts all of this In the basket before turning to Carl.

"There, you can wear this. It fits your emo, grunge style while also actually being sexy. You're welcome." Carl wants to argue with her, but she interrupts him before he can, "Oh and one more thing!"

Enid walks around the corner of the aisle, grabs something, and comes back. She's carrying a simple pair of black heels with a belt that attaches at the ankle.

"Don't worry I didn't get you too big of a heel. I don't want you breaking an ankle on stage."

"I am not wearing any of—Wait on stage?"

"Yeah! Carol is gonna teach you how to dance on the pool! Soon you'll be dancing on stage in front of lots of clients—Before you start complaining, I'll have you know it's a very important skill you have to learn! Lots of men—and women—like to see a show before they have sex!"

"I don't give a fuck, I'm not dancing on a stage! That's so fucking embarrassing! I-I didn't sign up for any of this!"

"Wait Carl!"

Carl turns away from Enid, and makes a beeline for the exit. He just wants his old life back—the one before he found out all this incubus bullshit. The one where he got to see Judith everyday. Without realizing it, Carl feels a tear cascade down his cheek. He scoffs, ashamed of his weakness, he starts rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.

Not paying attention, Carl crashes into a large body. He feels himself about to fall backwards before the arms of a strong man wrap around him and pull him up.

"Hey kid, you ok?"

Carl's face flushes as he makes eye contact with the most handsome man he has ever seen in his life.

"...I-I'm—S-sorry sir! I didn't mean to crash into you…" Carl felt a surge of energy as he felt the man continue to hold him. God, was he this touch starved?

"No problem kiddo, but are you sure you're alright?" The man chuckles then. Carl feels his heart skip a beat.

"Uh y-yes I'm fine now, thank you!" Carl scratches his head as he looks away bashfully. God, Carl's never this awkward! Why is this man is making him so anxious!?

The beautiful man grins and pats Carl's shoulder before walking away. Carl made up his mind then, whoever that guy was... he wants him to be his first.

"Carl! There you are! I've been looking everywhere! Are you ok!?" Carl turns to see Enid running up behind him, bags in both of her hands.

Carl sighs, "Yeah, I'm ok… I'm sorry for running out like that…"

"It's fine! As long as you're ok… look, I'm sorry for being so insensitive… I forget how stressful all this change must be… and if you don't want to wear the outfit you don't have t—"

"No, I'm wearing the outfit."

"Ok, I understan—wait… what!?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna wear it, and tell Carol I want her to start giving me lessons tomorrow."

"Uh, ok! I'll let her know… umm why the sudden change of heart? ….Wait, you've found

someone haven't you?" Enid's signature grin pops up again, and Carl's glad to see it for once. He smiles back, "Yeah… but I never got his name..."

"Oh don't you worry about that." Enid winks.

-----

Here the continuation of the fic :

AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/21250181

FFnet : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13421844/1/Trapped-in-A-Dream

Wattpad : https://www.wattpad.com/800291673-trapped-in-a-dream

Hope u guys enjoy it and don’t forget to leave comments or kudos <3

#cegan #carl grimes #Negan #TWD #The Walking Dead #The Walking Dead TV series #Cegan fanfic #fanfic #Slash Fanfic #Incubus Carl Grimes #Halloween Cegan

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 5 years

Note

Blaine anderson is not whiny dang it! If Blaine is whiny then I am. But were not. We both have depression and need reassurance from our partners.

Hi there! Please don’t think I’m offended, I’m not, and I think I should have worded my post better earlier. I’m not trying to hate on Blaine at all, and I should have probably mentioned that in my post!

I personally didn’t think that Blaine was that whiny. Blaine was one of my top two characters on the show, tied with Kurt, and it’s because of Kurt and Blaine that I started watching the show. I put on an episode of the show one Saturday morning because there was backlash about this supposedly “wrong” “sinful” gay kiss, and I wanted to know what was making these people so het up (because it seemed so absurd to me that people were that offended over a gay couple kissing on a TV show). The episode I put on was coincidentally Original Song itself (perfect timing really) and I saw the kiss and just thought “...that was so cute and chaste, why the hell are people offended?!”. And then I kind of just kept watching because I really loved this gay couple - I had no idea who the other characters were, I would literally just put it on and wait for the Kurt and Blaine bits. I watched 2x16-2x22 BEFORE Season 1 or the start of Season 2 just because I loved the Klaine relationship!

(Also, side note, I did also know that Darren Criss was on Glee because I was a Potter fan, and I had seen AVPM, and literally ALL of the comment section was like “omg and now Darren is on Glee!!”. So there was that)

What I meant was that I know a lot of fans (both at the time and even today) hated Blaine and thought of him as whiny and clingy. I was trying to rationalize why he behaved like he did at certain moments because I have depression and anxiety too. As someone who’s battled depression since I was 13 (my anxiety wasn’t diagnosed until a couple of years ago), it was painfully obvious to be that Blaine suffered from mental health problems too, and I was annoyed that the writers on Glee brushed over it. I think people call him whiny because the writers never went into depth when it came to Blaine’s feelings or mental health.

I totally agree with you, so please don’t think I’m trying to bash Blaine! Blaine is one of my absolute favourite characters, and I love him so much - my problem wasn’t with Blaine as a character or with Darren as an actor, just with the way the writers went about writing him. I think it’s no secret that the writers on the later seasons of Glee were not the best, and I just felt like they could have maybe focused more on the fact Blaine clearly had depression/anxiety than they did. I know Glee had a lot of characters, and hardly any of them had properly developed storylines because they were rushed (eg. Marley’s eating disorder, Ryder and Kitty admitting to being assaulted as children, etc.)

So to me, Blaine didn’t seem whiny so much as lonely but I feel like a lot of people thought he was whiny, and I do sort of see where they’re coming from even if I personally don’t agree with them. I mentioned on a post on my old blog that, in my opinion, because of Blaine’s experiences in life - being gay bashed as a teen, his dad not being particularly supportive, always feeling second best to his star brother - he sees Kurt as being the best thing that happened to him, which is why he’s so scared of Kurt leaving him. I’m just headcanon-ing/theorizing here but I feel like to Blaine, Kurt is his home, his constant, the one thing keeping him afloat when things are bad; he can’t go to his parents or his brother, the New Directions are more Kurt’s friends than his in S3, and so he clings to Kurt as being the positive in his life.

Like I said, Blaine clearly has a lot of insecurities and I completely relate, hence why I agree with you. I cling to the only good stuff in my life when I’m having a bad time with my mental health, and it seems like Blaine does the exact same thing with Kurt. I think Kurt makes him feel wanted, like he’s not useless - he loves Kurt so much, which is beautiful, and Kurt is his light. Kurt makes him feel safe and loved and warm, and so I completely understand Blaine’s behavior.

So yeah, I’m doing a crap job at explaining it but I hope maybe I’ve cleared it up a little? Like I said, I absolutely do not hate Blaine, he’s one of my favourite two characters, and Klaine remains one of my absolute favourite couples to this day. Even through all the hard times, I continued to watch the show for Klaine, both as individuals and as a couple; I would get up at early times to watch the new Glee episodes of S4 before I had to go to school (I had to do it online since England didn’t show them until months later - and I was NOT waiting!). I remember when 4x14 came out, I was mad texting my best friend of the time because I was overexcited about them hooking up 😂 (the amount of texts I sent her about “Klaine sex” was only rivaled by her thirsty tweets over Finchel/Finn) I even stayed awake to watch certain episodes of S6 on a stream just so I could experience the Klaine elevator kiss and the Klaine wedding! I was in tears when they finally got married, like I was so emotional over it!

I was also a Klaine fanfic writer during this time (I was about 13-15/16 when I wrote the bulk of it) and it was probably the time I improved my writing the most; I wrote 150 chapters of a story about Klaine having children, plus I started a follow up (the majority of which is sadly still living inside my head instead of being written), and there were other various Klaine fics too. I’m pretty sure Klaine were the only Glee couple I wrote fics about - obviously there were side pairings of Finchel and Burt/Carole etc., but the main pair was only ever Kurt and Blaine.

It always makes me sad to see Klaine hate, and it always has to be honest 😔 obviously we can’t all ship the same stuff, and I’m not saying everyone has to ship it, but the overwhelming hate was astounding, especially the amount directed at Blaine/Darren specifically. I understand how frustrating it is to see people say negative shit about Blaine, so don’t worry!

#my answer is longer than necessary sorry!#klaine #blaine anderson #kurt hummel #glee #asks

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elle-stevens · 5 years

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The Break Up Blog - Day One Hundred and Forty Nine

My VPN is acting up again, so I’m blogging using my laptop tonight instead.

It’s been nice doing lots of typing on my laptop in recent days. My Cat and Robbie story is taking shape in a delightfully romantic way.

Who knew that Ariana Grande could be such a useful muse? I feel like a large portion of the world population could’ve clued me in on this fact a long time ago, hee hee.

Today was my last official day at my old job.

I took some time to walk around the school running track track and roam the hallways first thing in the morning. It felt surreal poking my head in through the doors of the homerooms where I taught so many of my students English, or tried to teach them at least.

I felt a bit like a ghost in a haunted house since most of the students are officially on holiday now and the classrooms were eerily empty.

After that, the day whizzed by with me helping C prepare some materials for her Murder/Detective winter vacation class. Lol, she’s really stoked about getting ready for police training when she goes back to the States in a month, so she’s turning her old students into miniature police detectives investigating crime scenes.

It’s an unusual concept for a children’s class, but I’m sure they’re having a blast learning new life skills from C. Plus, filling mini ziplock bags with powdered sugar and pretending it was cocaine was priceless!

When it finally came down to leaving, I went around my whole office to greet my colleagues one last time. It felt good to do that, even with my colleagues I barely interacted with for two years. I wanted all of them to know in some way that any help or kindness they gave me has always been greatly appreciated.

It felt nice showing a bit of my emotions at work and hugging my colleagues and exchanging Wechat contacts with a few of them. I hope they won’t forget me; I hope I won’t forget them either.

CI walked me out of school too because he didn’t want me to walk outside alone after saying goodbye to everyone, which was very thoughtful of him. And then he even hugged me goodbye outside the bus station near our respective homes, which surprised me in a good way. CI’s even more reserved than me and not big on expressing affection through physical contact. So I wasn’t planning to hug him goodbye today because I wanted to respect his personal boundaries. So it was nice that he broke his usual rules with me. Even though we only worked together for a year, I’m glad I met him. He’s such a great guy and become a good friend over time. I hope that he’ll still reach out whenever he needs help with stuff or just wants to chat. I’ll do my best to look out for him this year, especially with C heading back to the States. I’ll do the same with AS too since PE and his wife will be moving to the States too at the end of his work contract in August.

I went to the bank afterwards to withdraw some cash and just walked around near my neighbourhood for a bit. I felt pretty sad and lost after leaving my workplace. This is a new chapter in my life and I’m still not quite sure how to feel about it.

I got home and opened a gift and read a letter that one of my colleagues gave me yesterday. I just broke down and cried a for a while after that. The letter itself was simple enough, but the sentiment just wrung my insides out like a wet sponge. I sent some voice messages to other colleagues I didn’t get a chance to see before I left.

CH, G and D messaged me throughout the day, which was good too. I avoided messaging my loved ones all day because I was feeling emotional about my last day at work and wasn’t ready to delve into it just yet. But I’m glad they broke down my emotional barriers to check in on me. It’s nice to know that I have so many people in my life who are constantly looking out for me.

I sent H a voice message too even though we saw each other before we both left the office today. She left earlier than me because she had to go home and pack, she’s going back permanently to Korea. She’ll come back to China briefly next month, so hopefully we can have a meal or coffee together before she departs for good. I finally told her that X and I broke up and she was very sweet and encouraging about it, telling me I deserved better and that I’ll be ok in the end.

Even if I let H confirm her strange ‘Columbo-esque’ suspicions about my breakup bordering on practicing witchcraft (H legit guessed at all the right reasons why X and I broke up months when she gossipped about it with C without me telling her anything, it was freaky!), I feel ok about it now. I don’t want to hold onto any more bad feelings that happened at work, in either a professional or personal sense. I’m also glad I told H that she did a great job as our manager last year, even if it wasn’t always the case. I don’t want her to go away from our school feeling like she failed at managing all of us. She has a lot of good points and overall, she was still a great colleague to work with the past two years.

I also told PE and AS more about what went down with X. We ended up at a bar after having a farewell dinner for all the teachers leaving my school last night. I was intoxicated at that point and the three of us were talking about sex and relationships. They were very sympathetic and it meant a lot to get some things off my chest. Maybe by telling more people about what happened with X, I’m slowly freeing myself from the burden of carrying her haunting memory with me everywhere I go.

She’s invading less of my thoughts these days, especially when I’m feeling horny. That’s been very helpful not having X’s face pop into my head at awkward moments. I still think of her from time to time. It’s mostly negative thoughts about how much she sucks as a person. Other times, they’re sweet memories about little things she did that made me smile or made me happy in general.

She was my first properly long-term relationship; of course I’m going to carry her with me for a little while longer.

At least till I meet someone new that I love for a lot longer than X.

A part of me thinks that I’m ready to fall in love again.

But then I have moments like last night where I’m wandering around drunk in my city for the umpteenth time in 6 months and I feel like just another lost soul who doesn’t want to let love into my heart again.

My birthday is coming up next week and I’ve decided to have a simple birthday dinner with my friends on Saturday instead of Wednesday, which is when my real birthday happens. I’m still not ready to acknowledge the day, as shitty as that sounds.

It is pretty bad considering I’m lucky to be alive. Not in the sense that something bad happened to me and I almost died, but in the sense that it’s a blessing to live out a new day every single day. Instead I’m treating my birthday like it’s something horrible and disgusting, like it wasn’t one of the few things that my parents actually did right together as a couple.

Ok, that sounded so much weirder out of my head and in written form, but you all know what I mean.

My point is that I should be happier I get to celebrate another birthday. I’m being an idiot just because I’m turning 35, I’m single and living away from home while celebrating my birthday.

Hence why I’ll still celebrate my birthday with my friends, but maybe just have a ‘me’ day on my real birthday. And I can still call my family on my birthday and celebrate with them.

So yeah, I’m taking baby steps on the road to happiness and finding newer and healthier ways to deal with my issues. My therapist is out of commission these days because she has Stage 0 breast cancer and had surgery recently. So she’s recuperating at home and not seeing her patients till February so her medical insurance pays out as promised. That’s ok with me, I’m putting on my ‘big girl pants’ and trying not to need her for anything till I see her in person in February when I go home to see my family.

So in the meantime, I’ll try not to indulge in self-destructive behaviour from now on. After my birthday, I’m going to stave off drinking for a while too. I need to take better care of my health in light of my gastritis. I just hope I can get better medication to help me with my acid reflux and dry mouth in the future.

I made spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and slept for a few hours. Now I’m up blogging and chatting to different people through SNS. I have to get up early tomorrow to do a health check for my new Chinese work visa for this year.I hope everything goes well at the hospital since my Mandarin is still pretty shite. I hope I can get enough rest and hopefully take another nap tomorrow when I get back from the hospital.

What?

I have a month to myself before I visit my family in South Africa. I’m definitely going to celebrate that fact by catching up on sleep, my ever elusive friend.

I’m a bit too tired to type up more of my new story now, but I broke my 7-year streak of not writing fanfics at work this week. So in-between cleaning out my work cupboard and cleaning my work desk, I typed up my Cat and Robbie romance, tee hee.

Alright, time for bed. Sleep and peaceful thoughts are coming to me more easily these days now that I’m moving on gradually from all the bad shit that happened in 2019.

For now, things are good :-)

#breakupblog #dayonehundredandfortynine

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whenshiphitsthefan · 5 years

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So, trying to hash out some personal stuff. If you have any insights after reading this feel free to comment because I still don't even... yeah.

CW for some references to sexual abuse

It's been six months since I finished Tophet, a story that I took about two years to write (not including the preceding story), and it turns out the entire 90k word fic was an incredibly deep allegory for why, even though my dad was alive for the first 23 years of my life and even lived in the same house for the first 12, he was almost totally absent.

The main gist of the fic is that Sam and femme!Dean are so codependent it overshadows everything else and they cannot be any other way even if they wanted to. The resolution is that their two children are having happy normal lives away from them. The ending is supposed to be tragic, but also happy if that makes sense. Sam and Dean are happy, the two kids are happy, but they aren't happy together. They can't be.

In the fic, Dean represents mental illness/depression. My dad, like Sam in the story, knew perfectly well how to be a good father but he couldn't function as one because his sickness was just too overwhelming. He hurt his children that he did love to varying degrees because of his mental issues. Sam ends up hurting his kids because of Dean.

It's gonna take a while to sort through all of it but it's incredible to me that I subconsciously crafted all this because I was, I don't know, trying to explain to myself why I didn't have a dad? Trying to tell myself that I was better off without him?

I've been messed up about this ever since I realized it.

I was never good at picking up on literary symbolism before and obviously when I wrote it I did not make any conscious decisions to make it like my life, but looking back, it's all there and you could do a whole lecture in an English course about it.

It's all fucking there. I used a dysfunctional, codependent relationship with Dean to represent clinical depression and whatever else happened to my dad to make him the way he was. I hate to say this but Crowley in the fic represents my mom, someone who provided for me materially and on some levels emotionally (IRL she truly loves all of us kids) but due to her own problems could never provide the type of parenting my dad technically knew how to do but couldn't consistently execute. There's a scene at the end where Sam uses a knife on his four day old daughter to get a couple drops of blood. It's in the woods in the dark and if that's not a metaphor for my one weird memory that may or may not be my dad molesting me then what the fuck would it be? There's another scene where Sam feels like he's sexually exposing himself to Tophet and he's not but they're in the situation because of Dean, and my dad was convicted of doing that to some random girls either before I was born or shortly after. I still don't know much about it but it's like... that's what that is.

I kind of wonder also if I was trying to explore how my dad might have felt about the situation. Like I know he felt guilty about not being there. He was also a shitty person who made shitty choices and was abusive towards my mom (Sam killing Crowley in the story might be related to that). So like, it's not like he's entirely deserving of sympathy, but I don't think I paint Sam that way in the story either. He knows perfectly well what is right and wrong and he does the wrong thing anyway because he needs Dean. I used to kind of wonder why I was writing such a dark version of Sam, because Sam doesn't go that dark until season 10 whereas I had it set in season 6/7, but it wasn't Sam I was writing.

It might be partly what my therapist initially suggested, that I keep writing Sam as a father because I'm living out a fantasy of what could have been, so maybe the story is a fantasy where my dad was a great person other than the mental illness that made him do bad things/be absent even when he technically was there.

But I was compelled to tell this story, like it was already there, so maybe I was telling the story... from his point of view?

When I first started the first story, What We Carry Inside, it was an idea that came of a random smutty fic, and I hadn't spoken to my dad in months. I started posting that one in January 2016 which is a few months after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He died in May 2016. I finished WWCI and started posting Tophet in February 2017.

So, I'm not sure how much of WWCI is about my dad (some of it definitely is fantasizing-about-having-a-normal-dad), but by the time I was actually writing Tophet, my dad had died months earlier and his story was over.

So, what I'm saying is that I spent, depending on how you look at it, 2 to 3 years telling the sad story of why I don't have a dad, and I am not sure if it was more of a "I have to take this out and look at it" or a way of defending his massive failure of a life. Again, I don't think Sam is a hero in that story. He is the protagonist, yes, and I wrote it because I love... whoever...

Idk it's like I wrote it because I love my dad (but instead of loving him I love a fictional character) and want to believe he felt bad about his failures (which I know he did to some extent) but I also portray Sam as being happy at the end. I didn't use the words but I make it clear that he isn't... guilty? about it anymore. Or that he doesn't have to be.

So. Maybe the whole fucking fic is actually a very long version of a conversation I had with my dad in August of 2015 where I told him that I forgave him for things he did and things he didn't do. Maybe I wrote all that to say "you know, dad, you were really fucked up and did fucked up things, but it's okay. I know you loved me and my siblings and something else prevented you from functioning."

(I realize I just wrote basically what Sam said to John Winchester in the 300th episode. I loved that scene because I'd actually had that talk with my dad and I was happy for Sam finally having it.)

But man I put a whole lot of time into saying something to a dead person that I'd already told him when he was alive, which makes me wonder if I was saying it to myself or maybe trying to say it to others.

Like I can sum it up as "the story is about why I didn't have a dad" but who was I trying to explain it/defend him to? Am I telling my truth, or his truth? Am I trying to convince myself of something?

I should probably see my therapist again sooner than December but on the other hand I have a lot of other fanfics to analyze.

This is just really overwhelming for some reason, realizing I put all that out there without knowing it. I seriously spent years of my life working on a story that was just a story (one I loved but still just a story) and thinking I was making creative decisions when really I wasn't because the story it's based on had already ended. The details and scenes had already been decided long before I wrote them.

I just. I was so into the dark Wincest element of that story, but that translates to a fixation on my dad's mental illness. Which I guess is fair since that's why I didn't really have a dad even though I technically did. I love dark Wincest in general. My favorite type of Sam/Dean story is when they do bad things to save each other or be with each other. So how deep does it go? How many of my Wincest fics are just about battles between us and mental illness that prevents us from doing what we want or should?,

#personal #this is a long read but not as long as the 90k word fic #supersonal

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