#*Had not evolved when I first sketched this ask and as such is still a Pawniard here

[askleaderscrest]

Gladius: Not that I'd fault her for any of that, of course! I mean, I was probably really annoying as a kid, so it was only fair for her to annoy me right back, but it's not like that did anything. I had every opportunity to leave her pack when I was old enough, but never did, so obviously she was doing something right.

She taught me everything I know from hunting to leadership, and even though I'm a Bisharp with a pack of my own now, she still comes in and lectures me sometimes... But there's always something to learn, for both of us now.

All that being said, I'd never give it up. I'm glad she's still here even though I'm not a part of her pack anymore. It's nice.

As for my dad...

Gladius: I was too young to really know him, but I do remember that much. So I guess you can say I knew him, but not the real him.

@gimmighoulcoins / @eohpmdsteams

[diushek]

Shen Yuan concept without being a NEET just because my sister and I thought of this and lol we had a good time

So Shen Yuan is this rich kid and all, but he actually has this hobby that started taking up 80% of his free time: designing clothes. He started out as a cosmaker, can you blame him? Cosplays are so poor quality these days. And Shen Yuan is used to good quality clothes even if they are just simple t-shirts. So when he started realizing how pathetically expensive some cosplays were compared to their quality, he just... Well, he had to design his own!

Little by little, he evolved. And one day his wealthy family found him this job designing clothes for xianxia dramas, and Shen Yuan, a little delirious, accepted. It's okay! He designed a lot of sketches inspired by arts, historical research here and there, things that also looked nice and realistic. Shen Yuan enjoys his job almost as much as he enjoys criticizing each new PIDW chapter. How is it possible that they've been thirty chapters into that subplot and there have been more papapa scenes than a resolution?! Outrageous!

Shen Yuan designs a lot. He still works as a cosmaker, as he really enjoys doing embroidery. It's a time-consuming job, but he gets paid well and his cosplays are the best in the entire community. His family is happy that he has left his lonely life and has this job and this new business experience, they congratulate him on his new achievements, they urge him to enroll in some university fashion or clothing design.

Shen Yuan dismisses it. He misses his life as a NEET a little, but in reality on his days off he just plays around and does nothing, which is the same thing he does on his work days, except he embroiders and sews or draw on those work days. Days so busy, they are not.

So Airplane ends PIDW like absolute shit, Shen Yuan drowns and dies.

And he opens his eyes. Well, what the hell. It doesn't take long for him to discover that he transmigrated into an NPC. Tailored, apparently, because he's an no-name NPC apprentice to a spider demon seamstress!

He has a lot of knowledge about all of this, so it doesn't take him long to put it into practice. His teacher congratulates him and he makes a lot of sales. Soon, he gains a very good reputation. Maidens from other kingdoms come to Shen Yuan to design clothes for them for festivals, for dances, for family celebrations. Shen Yuan designs, sews, embroiders. It's not far from his old life, although he misses Project Sekai and caffeine a little.

He opens his own workshop almost a year later, with the goodwill of his demon teacher. She warns him of something: Shen Yuan is a thread woven to another soul. And soon, his soulmate will come for him.

Shen Yuan is a little nervous, but, oh well! A soulmate! If only!

He knows, for a fact, that that's impossible. They're in the disgusting world of PIDW, and at least half of the dresses he's made have been for Binghe's future wives. Some would even be torn apart without any care! What a waste of his time and effort!

He doesn't think about it too much. Shen Yuan just focuses on his work. He designs, sews, embroiders. He sleeps little but enjoys the smile on the faces of the Meimei's when they hug the pretty fabrics. It is, despite everything, a good life.

Then, Emperor Luo Binghe arrives at his door.

In person. Not with servants, not with a letter, not with an invitation. It is Emperor Luo Binghe who arrives at his door.

Of course Shen Yuan is going to make robes for the emperor! There's no need for him to ask or offer to pay for them! He's nervous and a little scared, but Luo Binghe is... well, he doesn't seem to have no kind of threatening aura or any kind of charm. He asks him for the designs of some robes and stays there while Shen Yuan makes the first sketches. Luo Binghe gives more directions, more corrections... And Shen Yuan discovers that Luo Binghe is requesting Qing Jing robes from him, if the fanarts are accurate. He tears off that sheet of paper, starts another sketch with Qing Jing's exact robes without uttering any words, leaving Luo Binghe speechless as well. Luo Binghe nods, correcting details of length and shape, not even asking or saying anything about designs of cultivators clothing, and Shen Yuan has to move on to the... er, awkward part. He has to almost strip Luo Binghe to take his measurements!

Ignore that part. His face is very red when he finishes, but he has the exact measurements of his back, his arms, the size of his fit, his length and width, everything necessary to work with the first molds.

Shen Yuan has no idea why Emperor Luo Binghe wants Qing Jing's robes. He won't ask either, he values his tongue very much. So, he just decides to continue his work like a good professional, embroidering every detail to perfection (he has done two Ning Yingying cosplays in the past, so, it was easy to him remember the embroidered patterns).

Maybe he makes it too perfect.

Luo Binghe is looming over him, his new robes on display, eyes red with fury, zuiyin shining on his forehead.

"Cang Qiong has been burned for more than two hundred years. How can a weak mortal like you recreate these patterns so perfectly?"

Shen Yuan has three options, honestly.

a) Tell him he's a transmigrator. He doesn't have any fucking System, and maybe telling him he's from another world will save him from his imminent death... But he highly doubts Luo Binghe will believe him.

b) Telling him that he's a reborn soul! That he may have worked for the sect in the past! It's not a bad idea, and it's actually quite common, isn't it? Some souls are reborn with some memories, huh, not bad...

c) Not saying anything and playing dumb.

Shen Yuan chooses to play dumb, only because he doesn't have enough brain cells and is so panicked that he can play the reborn.

"I don't know what Junshang is telling me! I just followed the directions and patterns in the design given by Jungshang!"

Luo Binghe does not strangle him. Makes things worse.

Luo Binghe carries him over his shoulder and carries him away. This is kidnapping?! Shen Yuan is being kidnapped from his own shop in broad daylight!? And obviously no one is going to stop him!!

And so, Luo Binghe simply puts him in a room somewhere in the palace, gives him some papers and many tools so he can draw and tells him to design something that he like. And he leaves.

... That is, a kind of test? Is Luo Binghe testing him in some way? Ah, he hopes his customers will be understanding. He's sorry for the delay in their dresses, but Emperor Luo Binghe has kidnapped this seamstress, but he hope to get back to business soon!!

(Luo Binghe is having the closest thing to astral travel. Why does that boy who looks like a young and sweet version of Shen Qingqiu know the patterns of Qing Jing so well? Is he his own "kind" Shen Qingqiu in this world? So why does he act like this and not like a haughty teacher? What should he do?

At least he brought him to his palace. He's not sure if he's the person he's looking for, but, well... he's not really going to let him out of his sight. Just in case.)

[yyokkki]

Asking to Sketch Them

---

*cough* I forgot this series was a thing I was doing uwu

---

DIASOMNIA

Malleus Draconia

"Oh? How bold of you to think you could capture my visage in a mere canvas."

He says with the goofiest smile imaginable（⌒▽⌒）

He's already summoning a chair to sit on

Very experienced with posing so it's a breeze

You have a nice chat about philosophy, gargoyles and culture while you draw him

When you're done he's fangirling internally

Asks if he can commission you to draw a portrait of the both of you tgt

Hangs it up in his room <3

Becomes a regular commissioner

Mostly gargoyles

10/10 honestly nothing bad to say he's lovely

Lilia Vanrouge

"Fufufu, I've been in thousands of portraits over the years, you'll have to try your hardest to really impress me~ No pressure though!"

100% pressure once again

The old bat man will probably be hanging from the ceiling no negotiating

So it's either you draw him upside down or get upside down too

If you choose the second option you best hope no one walks in on you cuz damn wtf

How are you doing that you aren't even using magic???

When you're finished he jumps down and looks and goes

"How nice! Art has truly evolved so much since the last time I had one done~"

Starts showing you some of the portraits he had before like he's showing you baby pics

One of them has him looking like those medieval babies TT

4/10 I can't explain why I'm not giving him a lower score he's just funky

Silver

"No problem. If I fall asleep you can just wake me up, I won't mind."

He doesn't have much experience in posing but he's a natural

He's lookin like a disney princess fr, animals have started gathering

You're having a pleasant chat abou-

Oop he fell asleep

You think about waking him up but like

He looks so peaceful and like he's not even really moving so-

By the time you're done he's probably up and he starts apologizing

Tbh it's Silver so it would've been beautiful whether he was awake or asleep

Bonus points if you include the woodland critters snuggling into him

Human anatomy AND animal anatomy practice!!

9/10 he tried his best and it did turn out well

Sebek Zigvolt

"I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS HUMAN! MY VALUABLE TIME IS SPENT GUARDING AND PROTECTING THE HONOUR OF THE GLORIOUS YOUN-"

once again someone kiss him and shut him up omg

Or actually just show him the Malleus portrait he'll shut up

Yeah you have to do Malleus first if you wanna draw him

Stiff like a ramrod his face looks constipated

Ask him a question about his young master and he forgets he's being drawn in exactly 3 seconds

His face really lights up as he talks about him it's kinda cute

By the time you're done he's probably still talking so interrupt in a speech break

Thinks you did a good job and asks for some advice with art

Then starts trying to buy the malleus portrait off of you

I should've tried harder to not make 80% of his just him talking about the dragon boi but it's really hard cuz he's just him TT

7/10 he's not that bad but your ears are bleeding

-----

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

[vidavalor]

What do you think is happening in the scene when Crowley falls to the ground in pain in Tadfield?! I find your thoughts about Satan and Crowley really interesting and sorry if you've already mentioned it but I think I've gobbled up all your metas on the subject and didn't see it. Thank you 🤗

Hi there! 💕 Thanks for reading & asking. I have an assortment of Christmas cookies to share. *gets the plates* Sugar feels extra necessary for Satan-related Crowley meta...

Let's talk about that 1.06 scene you mentioned where Crowley is dragged to the ground by Satan in Tadfield, what it has to do with a motif throughout both seasons around a thing known as proskynesis, and how all of that is relevant to The Final 15 in S2.

TW: rape (mentions of the non-consensual possession-as-rape allegory).

Note: Themes of bodily autonomy and its relationship to freedom overlap between Good Omens and Terry Pratchett's Discworld and that's the main reason why some of us are still here, not giving up on this rare, A+++ survivor story, despite also wanting to hurl a certain, other person once involved with it into an active volcano. Considering the topic, I felt the need to just mention that at the start.

Sooo... let's talk about what the scene in your ask has to do with a bunch of other ones, including that scene in The Final 15...

Good Omens has a few scenes that are dealing with a thing known as proskynesis. If you're unfamiliar with this, it's a word describing rituals of reverence and worship in royal courts, as formed originally in various parts of the ancient world, like Persia, Greece, and Rome, as well as rituals involving religious worship across many different religions.

Aspects of proskynesis exist into the present in different ways in different cultures. For societies that are monarchies, proskynesis is at the root of rituals regarding how subjects in those societies address royalty. Everything from kissing the ring of high-ranking clergy in some churches to doing the same with some mafia leaders has historical ties to this. Things like bowing and curtsying customs in Victorian England can also be rooted back to proskynesis.

There are also elements of it in everyday manners and customs in societies that you wouldn't think would have any connection in the modern world to things like this. In many democracies, for instance, as in many other countries of the world, the custom of getting down on one knee to propose marriage is actually rooted in proskynesis, even if the partnership is (hopefully) more equal in today's societies.

The Japanese, who have an intricate system of bowing as part of the social expectations of their society, are a great example of how proskynesis elements have evolved to not necessarily be related to royalty or religious worship but also form the roots of manners between people throughout all classes of a society.

The rules of proskynesis in a society or a religious group varied in details a bit between cultures but has always had the same, general, wide gap between different types of actions.

As a general rule, there's a polite head bob of a bow on one end of the spectrum of proskynesis, with different bows then getting progressively lower and more intense, until we're closer to the other, more extreme end of the spectrum. That end involves kneeling at the feet of the king or in worship of a deity. The absolute, opposite end of that spectrum from that polite, head nod/bob of a bow is fully prostrating, which is lying fully on the ground, and what of this is tied to the scene in your ask, as we'll look at here.

The sketch below is a good, simple visual of what I mean:

[User: Arseni on Wikipedia]

What's interesting to note here is that when you look at the above sketch and see different movements in it that are associated with different religions, these things came to those religions by first being associated with the royal court of ancient Persia and then being adopted, in part, into Greece and Rome. What physical worshipping in a religious way looks like to this day was adopted into different religions from how humans were showing deference to other humans as royalty.

One, big debate in Christianity is actually what kind of proskynesis was given to Jesus. The word is found in The New Testament but Jesus is the perfect example of the blurred lines here between venerating a human being and treating one like a god.

There are different levels of proskynesis for religious figures, with saints and the like being ok to venerate but proskynesis involving full worship supposed to remain only for God. What kind of treatment Jesus received or should have received and what he thought about it is a matter of debate. Is he a carpenter or is he a king of kings, right? Is he human or is he supernatural... or is he both?

Crowley and Aziraphale struggle with this, too, but what they wind up doing is not technically proskynesis but it's arguably a lot better. They bear witness to Jesus' suffering and murder. They show him empathy and respect. The scene we see shows them talking about him a bit, as two people might do at any wake or funeral or the like for ages to come.

When it came to royalty, what kind of proskynesis you would perform would be dependent in different courts on your rank and your relationship to the king. You might be expected to grovel with some really low bows if you were of low rank or to have a more modest bow or to kiss the king, if you were of higher rank. The lower ranked people were expected to go lower in their bows and do more work with all of this, in order for even the chance of being recognized by the king or another high-ranked royal.

When Crowley mocks Beez, addressing them formally as Lord Beezlebub, he does a formal bow, complete with the proper foot positioning-- you can see him step into it from how his hips move. He bows almost to the waist, complete with flourishing hand gestures that are showing mock-fealty and deference to the Grand Duke of Hell by sarcastically treating them as if they were a king.

This scene which, as we'll see, is related to the one in your ask, is only one example of a couple of Crowley sassing the fuck out of someone, specifically by using proskynesis. It also adds to the chilling nature of the scene in your ask by having occurred just a matter of moments prior.

Beez lets it pass entirely because they're really only Lord Beezlebub in an attempt to project power enough to try to survive Hell. Their title is more about self-protection than it is about an expectation of deference-- which is something that Crowley also knows and is at the heart of the mockery.

Like Aziraphale, with his respectful bowing to his friend in gratitude for the sushi in 1.01, Crowley has no issue with a polite, non-religious, non-royal version of proskynesis. If worshipping the humans is wrong, Crowley and Aziraphale don't wanna be right. They don't revere individual humans as kings or gods but they do revere humanity itself as a whole in that way. They show polite respect to those sharing that with them or educating them in it.

They also do that with one another. Crowley's soft, polite nod of a bow to Aziraphale when they meet in Eden is gentlemanly. It's respectful but not in a way that isn't just treating Aziraphale as an equal. Nina gets a similar treatment when they meet in S2.

Crowley still does something similar into the modern era with Aziraphale-- note the little nod/bow when Aziraphale accepts his lunch invitation in S1.

This is all very much on the egalitarian end of proskynesis; it's in where it basically formed parts of the foundation of gestures related to having good manners in different societies. It's respect and acknowledgement between people who view and treat one another as equals, as is the case with Crowley and Aziraphale.

Their relationship is one that is built around equality, free choice, and consent. Therefore, when Crowley apologizes in S2 in another scene that is related to the one in your ask by being an intentional, totally opposite contrast to it, Aziraphale can barely contain his laughter at Crowley's mock-submissive dance. The dance, in many ways, is really a satire of proskynesis.

Crowley is doing this "yes, my king" dance for Aziraphale with tongue firmly in cheek. The dance is poking fun at the difference between general submissiveness, which Crowley loathes and likes to mock, and voluntary sexual submission with one another, which different scenes have shown us that they both periodically enjoy as some light fun from time to time.

Aziraphale is desperately trying not to laugh long enough to reply with equal humor in his dry, self-aware, soft dom voice. He can't resist smiling a bit and mimes a kiss at Crowley-- seeing Crowley's droll mocking of proskynesis-- which is etymologically linked to words related to kissing and which can involve it in different stages-- and replying by bestowing upon Crowley a kiss.

Aziraphale is intentionally doing something that isn't really the result of proskynesis when in the royal circles that Crowley is referencing with The Apology Dance. The subject is meant to seek the king's favor and would be the one, if ranked high enough to warrant such a relationship with royalty, who would kiss the king-- not the other way around. By miming a kiss at Crowley, Aziraphale is meeting Crowley's mocking of inequitable aspects of proskynesis with some mocking of his own by being miming a kiss at Crowley, who is his equal and partner.

There's also a droll joke in there where the only royal subject of a king who could reasonably have expected a kiss from the king, if maybe not always in a public setting, was the king's queen. So, Crowley's whole mocking Apology Dance has a joking, "yes, my king" vibe to it and Aziraphale's response is to show equal humor towards and affection for the person who is-- in all senses of the word-- his queen.

The end of Crowley's dance is a combination curtsy and what's known as a bow-and-scrape-- the thing from which the phrase "to bow and scrape" comes. The scrape is the movement of the foot behind a person across the floor, done to be able to go lower to the floor on the bow.

To "bow and scrape" was to basically grovel in this really overly demonstrative way for favor with the king, in the hopes that he'd be impressed by your humiliating submission enough to bestow favor upon you. The phrase now refers to doing a large amount of work or groveling to someone in a position in authority, usually with the suggested reward likely not forthcoming.

The second word in the phrase-- scrape-- also contains the word for the thing Crowley has survived at the hands of that fucking monster, Satan, who lives for the demons to bow and scrape for his favor. That's intentional on Crowley's part-- the end of this apology dance is also a visual pun on the word scrape, which contains the word rape, and this while he's doing this mocking dance that is a perfect example of how completely different and very healthy his relationship with Aziraphale is by how he is free to be this hilarious, sassy shit with his partner versus the forced subjugation by his assailant.

You might think that wordplay-- visual or otherwise-- involving the word rape is a bit dark. I won't disagree with that but I just want to briefly show you other examples of it that I've noticed so you can see what they're showing as the rationale for it between Crowley and Aziraphale. It's actually more of an empowering thing when you see other examples of it that are in other scenes.

Crowley and Aziraphale's cant vocabulary-- their invented hidden language-- uses a lot of words-within-words, just like how rape lives within scrape. If you consider that, you might also notice a couple of foods that recur in Good Omens that also are related to this. In Crowley and Aziraphale's language and in their life together, food is food but food is also figurative language for sex. Their healthy relationship and all the food and sex that is part of their life together is their answer to the traumas they've both suffered.

It's sensual, mindful living that focuses on healthier, positive experiences that help them to provide one another with a quality of life that the pain of Heaven and Hell does not. As a result, some frequently mentioned food and drink is held up between them as examples of the loving, enjoyable, pleasurable relationship with one another that they have that stands in contrast to Heaven and, especially, Hell.

Crowley enjoys wine, right? Which is made from? Grapes, as Aziraphale orders in 1601...

The opposite of the rape-related issues that Aziraphale unintentionally triggered in Crowley in 1793, for example, is what he then offers him for lunch-- both figurative and euphemistic crepes.

Not coincidentally, that's also what Aziraphale suggested the day after Crowley was assaulted by Satan on the night Armageddon began-- the crepes of Paris, 1793-- and Crowley, as we could see, was all for it:

Another covert reference to this is Aziraphale's magic trick of changing a turnip into an inkwell. It's a metaphor on a couple of different levels but one of them is that the word rape overlaps with a type of plant that is also called that and is the category name for a group of plants and vegetables, the most famous of which is the turnip.

Turnips are also a pretty clever food metaphor for rape. They have been in existence for forever and are, horrifyingly, really common, but no one-- no one lol-- has ever really wanted to eat a turnip. They're not a terribly appealing food and I would wager that if you lined up every person on the planet and asked them to name a delicious food no one-- at all-- would say the turnip.

So, adding that into the etymology of the vegetable being tied to the word rape, then turning "the common turnip" into "an inkwell"-- when sea creatures, like octopi, are often sources of ink, and 'well' meaning both healthy and a flowing source of liquid? It's Aziraphale making a magic trick that is a metaphor for him helping Crowley heal from the rape-related inorgasmia referenced subtly in a few, other scenes, and which is the subject of the Fish meta, if you're interested in that.

Anyway, the healthy, humorous, proskynesis-mocking apology dance is one of the scenes that serves as a direct contrast to the scene in your ask where Crowley is forced to the ground by Satan in Tadfield. That scene involves the other, more extreme end of proskynesis, which is number 6 on the sketch near the start of the meta: prostration.

To be clear: how people want to worship in any way, if they do, is no one's business, so long as it's not harming anyone else. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of this if it's of someone's free will. The scene in your ask, though, doesn't involve free choice, it involves forced subjugation, which is from where the horror of it comes.

Prostration involves lying flat and face down on the ground with your arms outstretched. It involves kissing the feet of the king or the ground that you believe belongs to the deity you're worshipping.

Prostration is complete submission. It's basically a rejection of any sense of self in full deference to the king or the deity.

In Hell, all the demons are seen as belonging to Satan. Several of them, like Hastur and Shax, refer to Satan as "our Master." They are all seen as Satan's subjects and his property-- all known as a collective referred to by Hastur in S1 as The Fallen, as we also looked at in relation to Aziraphale being Mr. Fell in this meta.

In Heaven and Hell's view, The Fallen do not belong to themselves but to Satan. Crowley's sense of autonomy and his relationship with Aziraphale are secrets he keeps because of how they conflict with Hell, where he's not supposed to have any other desire but to live to serve his rapist, who believes that he owns him.

All of Crowley's mocking of anything more than a polite nod when it comes to proskynesis is more than just being generally anti-royalty and anti-authority. The root cause of all of it is Satan.

In the scene in Tadfield, Satan is forcing Crowley to first kneel and, then, to prostrate, before him.

When Crowley clutches one hand to his chest and uses his other hand under him to keep himself an inch or two above ground, he's doing so in an effort to resist fully prostrating.

He's trying to keep his hands from being pulled out in front of him and to keep up enough to keep his lips from kissing the ground in forced subjugation to Satan.

This is probably the darkest scene in the show-- even darker, maybe, than 1.01's scene of Satan attacking Crowley in The Bentley-- because this is a whole new level of horror here. Crowley is shaking with the pain of fighting for enough control over himself to keep from prostrating any more than he is being forced to. This is happening with other people present-- including Aziraphale and kids, including Satan's own kid-- with the obvious humiliation factor being part of the attack.

Unlike in 1.01, when Satan took complete control of Crowley to a point that he couldn't speak, he's left him that ability in this scene, getting off on hearing Crowley protest. This scene shocks because the 1.01 scene of Satan attacking Crowley, and subsequent scenes reinforcing the non-consensual possession-as-rape allegory throughout the story, lead the viewer to believe that this is how it will always be referred to in the story. It lulls us into a sense of complacency where we think we know what the show will do, which has the desired effect of making this scene, in which they shift that tone pretty dramatically, all the more impactful and terrifying.

Furthering the allegorical here is that Crowley is outmatched, power-wise, for the most part, but is putting up a fight. He's moved by an assailant against his will, quite violently. He's dragged to his knees and then pushed forward to the ground. He's in pain and distressed, he's lost control of his body, his legs end up splayed, he pulls in on himself as much as he can, and he's repeatedly saying the word no. I think it might be pretty much impossible to make a scene full of more direct correlations to rape than this scene. They're doing so to really underline this survivor story with Crowley that is running through so many of the other scenes.

Crowley grabs his right leg when he is forced down to the tarmac, presumably because that's the side that is being forced to move by Satan to drag Crowley to his knees. It's possible, though, that this might be also be an allusion to the aftermath of 1827.

When we saw Crowley in 1862 in the scene that functions as him still trying to deal with what happened in 1827, Crowley was carrying that cane that many think was more than a fashion statement. Something that could cause Crowley periodic pain, while also still allowing for other scenes in which he pretty clearly isn't in any pain, is the possibility that, in the 1827 aftermath, Satan broke one or both of Crowley's legs.

As any of us who have ever broken a part of our human corporations know, they can often be painful long after they heal and frequently subject to weather and stress. It's possible that Crowley had recurring pain for decades and might still into today. This is all speculative but why else might this idea also fit?

Possibly just because there are so many scenes in Good Omens that are nothing but Crowley just walking freely or hopping, owning his human body by sauntering around on the legs that are often symbolic of his life as a human of Earth, as he very notably doesn't have them in snake form... and his snake form is something that he associates negatively with his fall and Hell.

Crowley's walk at any given time is related to his sense of empowerment and, sweetly, there are also a bunch of scenes of Aziraphale just gazing at Crowley as he walks around. Including, darkly, the one that was happening when Crowley was dragged to Hell in 1827:

The scene related to this that I like best, though, is when Crowley and Aziraphale both get one over on Satan and The Metatron by successfully hiding Gabriel in S2. They grin at one another as Crowley hops down from the chair, fully in his body, landing gracefully and happily on the legs that, whether once broken or not, we have seen in 1.06 ripped out from under him by Satan before.

Hell also has some Godfather-referencing, mafia-like nods in different scenes in the series and breaking someone's legs is kind of classic mob stuff but, really, I think it's more tied to the whole forced subservience snake thing. Crowley, telling Aziraphale that he'd changed his name to one we learn in S2's Job minisode is associated for Crowley with freedom, autonomy, choice, and Aziraphale...

...from one that is "a bit too squirming-at-your-feet-ish" to Crowley. It's a comment made more horrifying when 1.06's scene in Tadfield makes it clear that this isn't just a metaphor here-- Crowley's unwillingness to be Crawly and his discomfort with being a snake makes even more sense once we have this scene in Tadfield that sees Satan knock his human legs out from under him and force him into literally squirming like a snake at his feet.

No wonder why Snake!Crowley has a tendency to prefer roaring like a lion when transforming into a snake-like monster, like he did in the paintball scene...

Crowley and Aziraphale working to reframe and claim The Serpent from Crowley's negative associations with being a snake is something I talked about in the other meta I posted recently, should you also be interested in that.

The other thing of note when it comes to this scene of Satan trying to force Crowley to fully prostrate is then the fact that, while we've looked at the horror that Crowley is experiencing here, there are some other scenes that are subtly referencing positive life experiences that can be associated with this same type of position, if the situation is consensual and of someone's free choice.

They're also the exact types of things that can be complicated by having been assaulted. Lying face down are obviously both common sexual and sleep positions, for instance...

In S1, one of the scenes that got cut was supposed to be Crowley waking up from a nap in his flat. The script book says it was supposed to be that Crowley was sleeping on the ceiling in his bedroom, which also looks to be how they were filming it from the picture of it that exists. DT filmed it standing up, presumably so that they could flip the shot around and make it look like Crowley was sleeping on the ceiling. In addition to the heat-seeking snake aspect of this, there's some interesting psychology that may be at work here.

Crowley's flat in S1 was not owned by Crowley-- Hell owned it, as we can see even more in S2-- and he was not technically safe in it. Hell isn't great with boundaries and, although Crowley had structured the flat to make it so that he might have some warning if someone were to come through the front door, there was no guarantee that they would do that. Crowley sleeping on the ceiling in the bedroom in his flat might suggest that he did so, at least in part, to try to have an advantage over someone who might show up in his flat.

It might suggest that Crowley likes to sleep on his stomach but he felt too vulnerable to do that in the bed in his flat so the only way he could make that happen there was to sleep on the ceiling, where his position would potentially be a bit more advantageous. Where Crowley likely does not have that issue is in the bookshop, as he's much safer there.

In another area of life? After 1.06 showing where the proskynesis theme was leading in that season, this scene below is then retroactively given another layer:

As looked at before, Aziraphale's hand gestures here are actually massage movements. His dialogue is also full of massage-related puns-- need/knead, back, practice. Probably also not coincidentally? In addition to just being fun and relaxing, massage is also often suggested by therapists working with couples where one or more partners has been assaulted, as it can be therapeutic on a variety of levels. The scene is suggestive of Crowley being comfortable with a variety of different kinds of pleasurable prostrate positions with Aziraphale, which stands in obvious direct contrast to the horrors of Satan.

So, here's where we're going to end this by talking about some mirroring to the scene in your ask with The Final 15, especially through using etymology. The word proskynesis comes from the Greek and is a combination of pros (meaning: towards, in this case) and kyneo (meaning: kiss). Some translations of it actually wind up being less "towards the kiss" more along the lines of "to kiss in the presence of."

Yeah... There's a word in the mix in this story that means "to kiss in the presence of" and that feels pretty relevant to the last few minutes of the most recent episode we've seen, no? 😂

In the S1 finale, the season's recurring moments of proskynesis lead towards the Tadfield scene, in which we watch Crowley wind up forcibly prostrated before Satan and resisting a kiss with everything he's got. While he'd do that anyway, what's the biggest reason as to why he was in that moment? Aziraphale, right?

It's because Aziraphale is right there and this is all already more than horrible enough. Crowley does everything in his power to retain enough control to resist this kiss because he is absolutely not kissing the Earth Satan claims is his, in forced deference to him, with Aziraphale watching.

Poor Aziraphale can't do anything about this in the moment that it's happening. He can't go to Crowley without giving away that he's Crowley's partner. They've been terrified for a long time that Satan would kill Crowley if he found out about them and, based on what we've seen of how violent and dangerous Satan is, it doesn't seem like that fear is at all unfounded.

By S2, Crowley and Aziraphale are becoming a bit less of a secret but the people who they are letting in are ones they feel are trustworthy. None of them have any affiliation with Hell or Satan. The one person around them each a bit that does have affiliation with him-- Shax-- is the one they're both still attempting to fool.

The S2 mirror of the proskynesis/"kiss in the presence of" moment from 1.06 of Satan attacking Crowley in Tadfield and Crowley resisting the kiss in front of Aziraphale involves these same three characters again... but some aspects of it are-- as they would be with a mirror-- shifted around a little.

In 2.06, it's Crowley with a kiss again-- but, this time, it's Aziraphale that he's kissing. Instead of being the person who is watching the kiss be resisted, Aziraphale is the recipient of a kiss that Crowley is actually willing to give.

Aziraphale, like Crowley in 1.06, is mostly resisting the kiss. While Crowley pushed to resist it entirely in S1 for obvious reasons, Aziraphale isn't put off by the idea of kissing Crowley in general but, in S2, is resisting it as much as he's able to do so.

Why?

Because Aziraphale knows with almost complete certainty that it's Satan watching them through the window.

[pikachic]

Hi it's me again. TMA/POKÉMON AU??? YES HELLO PARDON ME I NEED TO THROW MYSELF AT THIS OCCULUS AU YOU'VE GOT GOING ON IF YOU DONT MIND

*BUSTS DOWN THE DOOR* I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

I’ve had this AU simmering away for a while and but haven’t posted that much about it, so thank you for the excuse to scream about my extremely self indulgent Pokémon x The Magnus Archives AU

*ahem*

Introducing:

POKÉMON OCULUS

(Here’s an illustration I did after getting your ask - Champion Jonathan and his ace Pokémon, Vigitera!)

This AU is set in the Ervenis Region, a relatively small island region off the coast of Galar. It closed its borders two years prior to the main storyline, shortly after its Champion went missing during a series of attacks in its major cities and his predecessor was found murdered. Since then, an acting Champion has been instated and the borders have been reopened, but the Champion still has not been found. Most Ervenisans believe he is dead.

However, the Ervenis Champion isn’t as dead as everyone thinks, and his disappearance is only the first in long chain of events that will shake Ervenis to its very core, orchestrated by a man who aims to rule over a ruined world governed by nothing but his own will and the fear of people and Pokémon alike, and who will stop at nothing to bring that goal into reality.

More lore under the cut!

(Some of the AU-specific names and terms might be placeholders in that I haven’t been able to come up with anything better lmao)

(Also some of the art might be a bit old)

General Lore Stuff

Jon is the Champion who went missing, and Gertrude is his murdered predecessor.

Martin is Ervenis’ Pokémon Professor

Martin being the Professor is literally perfect.

Be. Because.

All of the Pokemon Professors (except for the newest ones) are named after trees.

And Martin’s last name is BLACKWOOD. Which is an ACTUAL TREE.

(My first rough attempt at drawing Jmart in the Pokémon art style)

Also jmart are extremely married

They’re Ervenis’ favorite power couple

(Professor Blackwood for half of the main plot: *sighs.* …I miss my husband. I miss him a lot. I’ll be back.)

Their Pokémon ship name would be Londonfogshipping

Martin has a Galvantula (most likely a regional form), a Sinistea, a Frosslass, and a Togekiss

Jon, in addition to AU-specific Fakemon, has a Gardevoir and a Luxray

Jon also has a shiny Appletun on his team and Martin has a Flapple. Make of that what you will :D

Also yes there are Fakemon in this thing

I have never designed any Fakemon before except for one thirty-minute period of time from when I was ten but I’m not going to let that stop me

(Initial Fakemon sketches! Three guesses as to which characters get Sqwyrm and Manickregus and the first two don’t count)

(Also Ervenisan Yamask has another form, which evolves into Ervenisan Cofagrigus which is inspired by the Do Not Open coffin)

(I have a whole list of Fakemon designs I want to make but 90% of them aren’t fleshed out at all)

Tim and Sasha are Professors in their own right, and also Martin’s assistants/fellow researchers

Tim has a Houndoom because I saw another TMA Pokémon AU that gave him one and I really liked the idea, he also has a Ludicolo because I lost a debate with my friend who is also into both TMA and Pokémon

Sasha has a Dartrix and a Meowstic

Most of the Avatars are gym leaders

(Yippee gym leader designs!)

(Not pictured because I ran out of steam before I could draw them: Michael and Helen, who run a double Electric-type gym; Daisy, who runs a Dragon-type gym; Karolina, who runs a Ground-type gym; and Jared, who runs a Normal-type gym)

Elias is the acting Champion in Jon’s absence and the secret leader of Team Chrysalis

The current Elite Four consists of Peter, Simon, Maxwell, and Annabelle

You might have noticed that Jon and the gym leaders are all wearing (mostly) black pendants/brooches

This is part of the Ervenis’ region’s “gimmick:”

Metafestation (which is. Almost definitely a placeholder name)

Skilled trainers can use special items called Metalenses to tap into the psyches of Pokemon and Trainer to manifest the shape of their desires and the power of their emotions in reality.

You basically give the Pokémon a JoJo Stand

Each Metalens must be specially shaped and cut to suit unique trainers and Pokémon, and since using poorly made Metalenses may have disastrous consequences on its users, only a handful of people have the qualifications and legal authorization to do so

(Gerard Keay is one of these people!)

Metalenses are usually worn as pendants or brooches so they’re close to the user’s heart

For the Metafestation power-up to be strongest, the trainer and Pokémon must have a shared goal/desire and a deep bond

(This bond does not have to be a positive one. It just needs to be strong.)

These Metafestations have their own typing system, though no one’s been able to figure out exactly what it is yet.

It’s the Fears. The Fears are the typing system.

Though most users of this system aren’t aware of it, Metafestation comes from achieving a delicate balance of both desire and fear.

When I first came up with this idea, it was JUST Fear, but I felt like that was a bit dark for frickin POKÉMON so I added the desire aspect

After all, what we fear and and what we desire often go hand in hand

You desire safety because you fear its absence, you desire light because you fear the dark, you desire freedom because you fear being confined, etc.

For example, Professor Blackwood desires companionship, and fears being forgotten. Most of the Metafestations he and his Pokémon create are foggy and cold, but in a way soothing at the same time.

Though a small handful of them are spindly and laced with puppet strings and reflect his desire to wield his cunning for good.

(However, he hasn’t been able to properly use his Metalens in years. The first and only time he tried after his husband vanished, it backfired horribly, consuming both him and his Pokémon in a chilling fog and sending them spiraling into unconsciousness. It took weeks for them to recover, and Professor Blackwood bears a physical scar of the incident in the streaks of stark white in his hair.)

Of course, most people don’t have just one desire/fear. The Metalens just channels the strongest ones, and most users don’t achieve more than three separate tertiary types of power-ups.

One of the biggest exceptions is Jon.

He desires many things: Safety, love, knowledge. He also fears many things: Being manipulated and controlled, abandonment, the unknown.

When he was a child, something happened to him that scarred his psyche in such a way that he could channel all of his desires and fears.

It’s what makes him such a potent conduit for the power-up system, and what makes him a prime target for:

Team Chrysalis

Team Chrysalis is a criminal organization/sort of cult disguised as something innocent: The Magnus Institute, the region’s main research institution that Professor Blackwood works at

The AU’s main plot gets kicked off when Professor Blackwood finds evidence that his husband, the missing Champion, is still alive

If this were a real game, the main story on the side of doing the gym challenge would be helping Professor Blackwood look for clues about Jon’s whereabouts and about The Magnus Institute’s hidden goals

Professor Blackwood also figures out that it’s very likely that Elias had a hand in Jon’s disappearance

(Professor Blackwood for the other half of the main plot: *slams down the Do Not Open coffin in front of Elias* It’s a coffin. There’s a name engraved on it. “WHORE!” IT’S EMPTY!! *grabs Elias by the collar* AND YOU’RE GOING IN IT!!!)

The Elite Four are also part of Team Chrysalis and fully on board with its plan

Though Annabelle might have her own machinations going on

Team Chrysalis plans to reshape the world as they see fit by summoning a Legendary Pokémon that’s a warped physical manifestation of the fears and desires of all living creatures, and simultaneously embodies and feeds on those fears and desires

(It’s basically all the Fears mashed into one eldritch monstrosity)

(I’m mildly worried this sounds too similar to some existing legendaries but at the same time I’m just spitballing and having fun here)

To summon this Legendary, they need a lynchpin capable of channeling all of those fears and desires

This lynchpin is Jon because of course it is.

Team Chrysalis’ whole plan actually only serves to grant Elias immortality and make him king of a ruined world but shhh none of the team members know that

I have zero idea what the Legendary would look like, I just have the fact I want it to have “Pan” in its name

The climax of the story comes when Team Chrysalis starts their ritual and the end of the world. In order to stop them, their Vessel and the Legendary must be defeated.

You are challenged by The Archivist!

The Really Self Indulgent Part

I started working on this at the same time that my friend was watching through XY for the first time

So at some point when coming up with all of the story stuff my brain went “what if I stuck Ash Ketchum into the story?”

So Ash is there now. For some reason lol

He’s 19 now and is just doing his thing and traveling the world

As usual, he takes on the player’s role, challenging gyms and helping Professor Blackwood in his investigation and eventually helping him take on Team Chrysalis

(I made this shitpost in like. Less than an hour lmao)

Ash is so done with these evil team leaders trying to destroy the world

Greninja is also there because tHIS IS MY AU AND I DO WHAT I WANT *MANIACAL LAUGHTER*

And I think that’s it for an overview of Pokémon Oculus!

I have a bunch more stuff for this AU, mostly spitballs and WIP writing snippets, and I do plan on making more art and Fakemon designs eventually (especially now that I’m getting better at emulating the Pokémon art style)

Thank you for reading this far, and feel free to ask me anything about this AU! :D

[turnaboutfix]

Oh yes of course!!!

I meant specifically like her very early concept art (blue haired) and like, one of the first ones where she has short hair (but still with those 2 loose locks at the front)? I hope you know which one I'm talking about lolol

BUT if you wanna speak your thoughts on like. All of them. I want to hear 👂❓️

( @ellivcca asked what I thought about Maya's concept art and I replied in priv if they could be more specific)

Let's talk about Maya's designs! ✨

I will skip the blue-haired art for now, since I have more to say about her other early designs. They're in a few Japanese AA Guidebooks, but "逆転裁判2 真相解明マニュアル", or "Gyakuten Saiban 2: Fact-Finding Manual" has the most in one place. There are blurbs that discuss the designs, and I'll do my best to summarize them. My Japanese isn't amazing and I had to mostly rely on machine translation + cross referencing dictionaries, so it's possible I may be inaccurate. Also, I'm a novice at Japanese culture, so if I'm misrepresenting anything please bring this to my attention and I'll correct things accordingly!

The book acknowledges that Maya was intended to be of high-school age, hence the the sailor suit artwork. They seem to suggest that the loose socks was a hint at Maya's spunky personality.

When they began to explore her as a spirit medium (1), they wanted her to come from a wealthy, noble family. It looks like a lot of these explorations made it to Franziska's design, with some of the shapes of the shoulders and the jabot-looking neck wear, which is interesting!

As they kept exploring in the second round of sketches (2), they stressed traditional/folk dress as being an important part of her design. They noted they had her carrying something on her back at the time, which I think hints more to her "folksy" feel.

The beaded necklace she's wearing in (2) are drawn from Mala bead necklaces, which are prayer beads rooted in Hinduism and Buddhism and are said to help focus the mind during meditation. They seem present in a lot of spiritual figures in Japan.

Later (3), they explicitly comment drawing inspiration from the Matagi, a group of hunting clans in the northern Japanese mountains (be careful looking them up, they do bear hunting and there's a lot of explicit imagery, even on the wikipedia).

They comment on that this version of her early character might be very athletic. She also seems to be more stoic in these explorations.

Then, for (4) and (5), they evolved the design to make it look appear more feminine, giving her long hair, but making a note that her look isn't typical of modern people. The large orbs in (3), (4) and (5) I think are supposed be drawn from "Yuigesa"(結袈裟), or harnesses decorated with pom-poms worn by Shugendō practitioners, hermits who live in the mountains and practice asceticism.

Then in (6), they added the magatama and committed to her having black hair. They note shortening the hem of her costume from design (5).

The magatama addition is pretty significant! Magatama necklaces are used by noro priestesses of the Ryukyu Kingdom from the islands in the very south of Japan.

Their religion broadly speaking, involves ancestor worship and the relationships between the living and dead, gods and spirits. It seems to me like the culture in Kurain Village draws a lot from the Ryukyuan people--and you can even see this with the beads along with the magatamas.

But there seems to be a lot of generic imagery of Spirit Mediums that I've been able to find in Japanese media which have shared elements of design in Maya's final design. The most interesting of these to me is "ほんとにあった!霊媒先生", or "It Really Happened! Spirit Medium Teacher". The design similarities are striking (and make me wonder if Maya was an inspiration?)

So, to summarize it all up, it seems like the early designers (and there were only two! Kumiko Suekane and Tatsuro Iwamoto) wanted a character who was different, folksy, feminine and spunky that displayed unique spiritual power to aid in the narrative/game mechanics of the games, and they explored the different facets of their own culture--from the northern Matagi clans to the southern Ryukyuan people--Japanese iconography, and tastes into Maya's final design.

And I think that's Real Neat. :)

Thoughts about other designs (Blue-Haired/SoJ Maya) under the cut cuz oh my gosh this post is already huge.

Blue haired Maya!

What's interesting to me is that a lot of the design language on this early Maya art seems to have been carried over to Ema's design (glasses, boots, coat/skirt). She also has similar vibes to Lynne from Ghost Trick.

I definitely enjoy Maya's final design a lot better, but I like the triadic color harmony and spunk here!

And then her design update in Spirit of Justice! These concepts are from "逆転裁判6 公式ビジュアルブック", or "Gyakuten Saiban 6: Official Visual Book". :)

Takuro Fuse (the character designer) comments that he never drew Maya before when he took a stab at updating her, so he wanted to get that down first before tackling the designs. He wondered how she would change over the course of 11 years, and first experimented with a design, thinking about how Mia would look like as a spirit medium. He thought it would be interesting if Phoenix wouldn't be able to tell if Maya channeled Mia. (Me too tbh.)

I feel like this design has a bit too much going on, but I do like the longer cream colored sleeves!

Takuro talks more about how he was exploring all sorts of designs before landing on something more simple. He wanted her to have what he called a "traveling costume" and was very fond of the hat. These designs seem to pull from similar places I've discussed with Maya's early designs, as well as Japanese pilgrims.

As fun as the additions and changes to her design are, I think it was very smart to just add subtle changes: the longer robes, jacket, and the additional beads to her necklace. The shawl is a nice touch, too. This reflects how post-7yg Phoenix and Edgeworth also have subtle changes to their designs as well, which I love and I think were very smart moves from a design-perspective as well as personal taste. Their designs are very iconic and I think it was a service to maintain that iconography.

This was a very fun thing to explore! Thank you kindly @ellivcca for the ask!

[cabi-leodrann]

Cabi! Big fan Joffrey here!

I wanted to ask, every time I see your art not only am I stunned by the quality, but also by the sheer uniqueness in style and character design. I've never seen a lamb designed quite like yours, it's so perfectly yours. What went into the inspiration behind the characters design, especially facially? Did you try and mimick a real lamb, or was there a more fantasy-element that you veered toward?

I can't specifically put my finger on it, but it gives me vague Warframe vibes. It's such a beautifully odd design and I can't get enough.

Love your work, love everything you do, can't wait to see what's next!

Hope you're well, stay safe, take care!

First of all, your ask is one of the biggest compliments I ever had in my life, I will keep it forever. You're an absolute chad! Second of all, those are very interesting questions, and I will be very happy to answer to them!

It started more or less with this drawing I made *look at the date* 2 years ago apparently. Way before I even thought of an AU- I didn't had much in mind, beside doing something that looked cool tbh.

I was very happy with the flow of it, and how it came out. And when I drew the Lamb again, I would try to nail THIS design.

The thing is, with time, I had a really big problem: Lamb looked way too young when I thought of them more as an adult. I had too much of the original game design guiding me, making a Lamb that was too cute and childlike for what I wanted. (And also, the head did not go well with the rest of the body holy shi-)

Came those drawings! I was happier with the look, Lamb was older! And I found the colored design quit nice! (I used a sheep picture as reference, but I don't think I used it well, compared to now. I used the reference for details, when I should have gone for overall shape first.) I still wanted something simpler to draw tho. The colored design was nice for an illustration, a one time gig, but I got pretty annoyed pretty fast at trying to nail the face every time. And from those attempt, you get the sketches on the right. (I also wanted to get away from other artiste's interpretation of Lamb, and at the time of those drawing, I didn't felt like I was away enough)

From those previous sketches, the idea for THaB started to emerge. I also still had problem with Lamb's design. Especially the hair. I was inspired by black hair, which is usually not a problem, but I was never happy with how it looked on Lamb specifically. I can draw black hair, I can draw black characters, but this mother-fucker would never feel satisfying to draw or finish 👀

And one day, as THaB was solidifying in my mind, I made a series of sketches that I posted! And one of them was the most important in Lamb's final design. This lil guy! (this design didn't came out of nowhere tho, Lamb was evolving into this as I kept trying. But I wont show those sketches, because those are spoilers =3)

And soon after, I made a comic that was supposed to only be a one shot, just a POV of Lamb and there reaction to Nari' telling them to die for him. But you know, things got out of hand lol

As I continued the comic and doodles on the side, I finally made myself a reference board, with real life images that were close to the vibe of this head drawing. (And I cannot stress enough how those references solidified Lamb's design as a whole. Draw with references, it is life changing. The more reference you get, the more your visual library will get diverse, and the more interesting detail and shape you will add to your art in general.) (I'd also add this: understand what you are drawing, make research and stay curious for every bit of info on everything. You never know when these nuggets of knowledge will help you as you create)

As I kept drawing the Lamb, they evolved! Things changed, slowly, like the shape of the nose, the shape of the eyes, how the hair flowed. You see those change at the face, but also on the body! As the idea of THaB's Lamb got clearer, the design got more specific. (I also got better at drawing! This comic make me draw way more often then before, and it shows)

Something before I finish: the other Cult of the Lamb character's design are way more inspired by their animals, when Lamb is more in the human spectrum. I thought of changing Lamb at some point, to make it fair/coherent, but I loved the design too much to change it again. This AU is something I do for fun, and even if it would have been more logical to change them... I don't want to-

As for the vague Warframe vibes: I play the game! And I found the character design absolutely stunning. So I am definitely influenced by the game without knowing it lol

Thank you very much, again, for your kind words! I also wish you the best, and see you next post =D

TL;DR: Lamb design, at first, wasn't inspired by much, beside the game and my style at the time. But as I retried to make them, added more intent, they got more refined. What really nailed the idea was to have real life references on the side.

[catfern]

cowboy!ellie headcanons

pairing: ellie williams x afab!reader

music: roses are falling - orville peck

word count: 1.2k

warnings: fingering (briefly), drunk sex-ish, guns??, yearning and just sappy shit mainly im in a vulnerable state

an: this is shit brainrot bc i've played too much rdr2 and i want ellie to let me ride her cowgirl style. this took me for-fucking-ever because i got acrylics and dropped my wpm from 108 to 67. also if i put out a poll asking what fic to post next would people vote

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✷ cowboy!ellie having the most pornographic, velvet-laced southern accent known to man. drawling out words in a whisper, that reassured wit sitting in her throat with a lopsided smirk. she’s such a tease, knowing how it gets to you, that ‘c’mon, sweetheart, you gonna make me wait f’you?’ after she trots ahead, glancing back at you under the wide brim of her hat. please, trying to make eye contact with ellie after a long day of riding (ifykyk), seeing just a glance of the veins in her neck, beads of sweat sitting in the little crevices as she leans down to her saddle bag. god, her hands!! and she looks at you, that knowing impatience and ‘okay there, darlin’?, and you can’t look at her, your head swimming and drowning in the molasses of her voice and too focused on the up, down, up, down, up trot of your horse.

✷ setting up camp for the night, bed mats a good distance away from each other, and you wake up, fire dying, moon high, and ellie is still awake, hands covered in dirt and ash and rust from her old revolver that she cleans too occasionally. the gentle scratch of charcoal on parchment, her body hunched over, protective like a creature, and when you call out to her, she TOSSES her journal into the dirt like it burned to touch. if the moon wasn’t so faint, you’d see the uncharacteristic blush fleeting across her cheeks, but too quickly, she tells you to go back to sleep, she’s just staying up to take care of the fire. you listen in a haze, and ellie tears out the five, maybe 6 pages?? of rough sketches, harsh lines etching out your body, your smile, your eyes, and stamps them into the cooling embers of the campfire.

✷ if we’re talking historically accurate cowboys, ellie is definitely the type to believe in dinosaurs!! it’s this new, fresh, science fad and everybody laughs at her for it, cause omg?? giant lizards?? nah!! but ellie is so adamant, reading every paper and pamphlet on the subject that she can get her hands on (assuming she can even read lets be so real), and she’ll tell you about it! small, reluctant meanders from more important topics, at first, but you’re kind and you listen to words either of you barely understand, and sure it’s a little bit boring, but she’s happy, and for some reason she makes it incredibly dynamic, crash coursing you on lizards that evolved (a buzz word in all her pamphlets) into BIGGER lizards.

✷ cowboy!ellie, the horse whisperer. she doesn’t teach you to ride, but you’ve never had a way with horses, cantankerous and rough, so you need a lil bit of assistance. ellie will take the lead, letting you rock behind her on your horse, your arms draped around her like common occurrence, and she’ll turn, ‘see? be gentle, she’ll listen. you’re a team, y’know?’

✷ ‘she just likes you more than me.’

✷ her laugh is boisterous, loud, it sounds like it belongs amongst the hills and caverns, like wind against rocks, ‘no one likes me more than you, flower.’

✷ one day, you’re just passing through a small town, nothing more than a few shops and scattered farm houses, and ellie spies an outlaw poster, poorly tacked to the community bulletin board. it’s her, badly sketched, sure. her chin is way too big, nose a bit askew, but it’s definitely her. and you laugh as she presses you frantically, ‘i don’t really look like this? do i?’ and it’s got some ridiculous nickname that definitely over-inflates her ego, ‘ellie 'longshot’ williams (no one has called her that ever) that she’ll parade it around like a medal

✷ ‘aw, love, do you need some help shootin’? don’t call me long shot for nothin’.’

✷ you’d get a bit vulgar, a bit defensive because, yeah, maybe ellie is actually good at shooting, and you could benefit from her teaching. but that fucking nickname, lording over your head with that lilt in her voice, and the childish, goading smile, you’d tell her to shove it somewhere the sun don’t shine and just pray luck guides your bullet.

✷ your now-so-serious scowl eats at her, so ellie has to swallow her boyish pride and shut up, simply falling behind you. gently tapping your shin with her boot to get you to adjust your stance, her hands stretching out over yours to feel out the barrel of the foreign pistol. they’re rough, calloused, unmade for this sort of gentle gesture, but you welcome the heat that they give. with a soft push and pull, like a tide she moves your fingers, your hands, to hold the gun well. her voice is a whisper as she instructs, ‘don’t hold it so loosely. stronger grip helps aim.’ 

✷ she’s shaking in her boots. a moment like this, tender, with you is scarcely shared. the closeness burns her chest as she feels you breathe against her, skittish but assured, ellie’s finger snaking around yours to settle on the trigger. you go to fire, and the recoil sends you backwards in a shock, ellie having to move her hands from the gun to your waist to keep you steady. you laugh something coarse, leaning back into her without a thought. adrenaline intimacy.

✷ ‘okay, maybe y’need a few more lessons before you get it right.’ it’s a selfish thought, but it cements ellie in that moment, with you just in her reach, and her revolver. she’d clean it for you.

✷ cowboy!ellie doing stupid shit, like taking longer detours to show you the scenery, the stretching fields and great mountain waterfalls, stopping to pick wildflowers (she’s a sap), or taking the extra care to saddle up your horse for you, securing the girth and not letting you touch it because ‘i don’t need you slippin’ on me.’ she takes care of you, out on the road, it’s not an official thing, but you’re off limits.

✷ ellie is kind, but sex with her isn’t. the first time, she’s terribly drunk, playing away her night in a saloon, at a poker table (she’s losing), and you’re sat at the bar, wearing that, and it’s violently throwing her off her game, so she decides to make it known that your presence is an interruption. dragging you upstairs, she’s unkind. ‘you’re not helping my luck, looking like that.’

✷ ‘how do you need me, then?’

✷ she tastes like cigarette smoke, and bourbon, and she smells like the sleek of rain on dry dirt, and feeling her all over you is intoxicating, rough. she’s quick, her lips aren’t soft but rather, a grating possession on your skin, a feeling that swallows you, melts you down in the heat of her hands. she swears, a lot, it sounds like disbelief but really, it’s a bribe. a prayer. ‘dear god, give me this, let me have this, and i will be devout.’ it’s primal, something uncontrollable. drunk, it’s worse. she loses herself in the haze, becomes complete disregard, her fingers inside you without hearing you, just feeling you. lost in you and she keeps pounding into you simply because she’s enraptured by the feeling of you clenching around her.

[emosingles]

hello fellow girls, gays, and formless blobs <3

if you or anyone you know is going to any of the remaining tit shows and have access to preshow but are stumped when it comes to coming up with any questions- here is a list of questions i’ve made!

30 Questions for dip n pip!

1. What are your favorite 1D songs?

2. What’s the last concert you attended?

3. If you could only watch one show for the rest of your lives, TOGETHER, what would it be?

4. Create drag names for one another.

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done trying to grab the attention of someone you fancy?

6. how do you think your style has evolved over time and who are your style inspos / icons?

7. What was the last “normal” job y’all had before the YouTubes?

8. What TV series did you recently watch together?

9. Are y’all aware of phannie Fridays?

10. Describe your first impression of each other in one word

11. What’s your favorite memory of touring from tatinof?

12. What’s the most unexpected dm you’ve ever received from a famous person?

13. Phil, will you ever do a Dan-esque one man show?

14. Do an impression of each other

15. Please explain the story behind “can Phil express an opinion” at that one panel because I felt the rage beam off the screen and still don’t know the context.

16. Phil, is it true that you won the Guinness world record for fastest coin stacking? Please explain how this even happened

17. DAN, we have heard Phil’s first impression of you (posh and annoying blah blah blah) but what was YOUR first impression of Phil when you two first met?

18. Have y’all been asked to be interviewed on hot ones? Dan would probably take it like a champ, Phil on the other hand- my prayers are with you babe.

19. If you could bonk any fictional character, who would it be?

20. What made y’all think to wear those ICONIC red and green uni sweatshirts for the photo cards- simply just for vibes or nostalgia?

21. three legged DDR challenge pt2 when?

22. Invisible string theory? more like y’all are being bound by shock collars and steel chains through every universe.

23. Please stop running off the stage I’m scared one of you is going to get hurt. Please. Omg. Stop. I. Beg.

24. Will y’all post a gaming vids blooper reel at the end of the year (for good old times sake) :3

25. who came up with the idea to do the april fools tasteful nude… just curious lol.

26. What kind of case do you have for the iphad? Or is it just free balling in the wind caseless?

27. How in the hell did Dan not realize the PVC jumpsuit was from an adult only website??

28. Who pitched the idea of the “no but seriously imagine it” sketch ?

29. when are dab and evan going to have a child? they were meant to be girl dads (also we just need some more estrogen thrown into the sims series pls lol)

30. what is a piece of merch that you’ve really wanted to do but haven’t had the opportunity to make yet?

i saw them back in austin and went overboard with creating questions and just didn’t want any of these to go to waste so pls use them and let me know if they ended up being answered!!

(i submitted one question during my show which was: who is the most sentimental, and they answered it! apparently dan doesn’t give a shit and will throw away everything but phil likes to hold onto things and savor the sweet mems)

[beegomess]

All Along, We Were Like Him || Kendall Roy

A/N: Just a reminder that my first language is not English!

04. The eyes never lie

After dinner with Shiv, things between you two returned to a familiar place. Over time, it was inevitable: you disagreed, but the friendship never really broke. In the weeks that followed, normality returned, with exchanges of messages, invitations to lunches and, now, her participation in the choice of her wedding dress.

Meanwhile, something else grew, almost without permission. You and Kendall were seeing each other with a frequency that bordered on the inexplicable. It was no longer just about casual and intense nights - although these were still part of the package. It was about the breaks you created in the middle of absurdly busy schedules. Lunches that were supposed to last an hour and extended for two. Messages in the middle of the afternoon with suggestions for a coffee that neither of them really wanted, but used as an excuse. And then there were the dinners. Dinners that started in discreet restaurants and then evolved into nights when he showed up in your apartment or you in his, with wine and conversations that seemed to have no end.

And there was a party.

You had never noticed his looks as much as that night. It was the birthday of a close friend, an event full of people who were part of a circle so exclusive that you felt out of place, even if you weren't. But Kendall was there, next to him, and while he talked to other guests, something in the way his eyes always met yours made the rest of the environment disappear for seconds. And you knew.

But it wasn't just you.

It was obvious to everyone. The way he kept his hand on the base of your back while you greeted someone, how he tilted his head to listen to what you said even in the middle of the noise. Even the media seemed to smell something. Small notes began to emerge, insinuating, speculating. But you made a point of pretending not to see.

Why admit that it was more than it should be? No. It was better to keep things as they were - in the cloudy comfortable area between what was casual and what was inevitable.

And maybe that's why, when Shiv asked to use your apartment for the dress fitting, you didn't hesitate to accept. It was a welcome distraction, even if it meant his living room transformed into an improvised studio, full of fine fabrics, scattered sketches and people coming in and out. You didn't like the chaos, but you gave in. After all, it was Shiv.

You provided a huge mirror to help her, something that practically occupied half of the main wall. And as she turned with a tight dress and a look of discontent, you realized that, despite everything, that was easier to deal with than the questions you had been refusing to answer for yourself.

But, of course, ignoring these issues did not mean that they were not there, lurking, ready to arise at the most inconvenient moment.

While your living room turned into a small luxury confection, you tried hard not to sigh loudly in the face of chaos. The huge mirror you had provided reflected Shiv, impeccably dressed in an exclusive model, but with an expression that denied any enthusiasm. The designer was kneeling next to her, adjusting the bar with meticulous attention, while she frowned, as if the dress was the problem.

- That's not it - Shiv finally said, moving away from the mirror and crossing his arms.

You raised your eyebrow, leaning against the door frame with a glass of wine in your hand.

- And what would "that" be?

– I don't know. I think... I was hoping to feel something.

- Feel something... about the dress? - you asked, trying not to sound sarcastic, but she rolled her eyes.

- For the wedding, for the ceremony, for all that.

The stylist, noticing the growing tension, collected himself with a delicate gesture and withdrew from the room, leaving you alone. Shiv sank on the couch, kicking his shoes to the side and taking his glass of wine with an exasperated sigh.

- It's annoying - she started, talking more to herself than to you. - You plan these things, build expectations... and, in the end, it just looks like a box to check on the task list.

You hesitated before answering, watching the way she turned the wine glass, without staring directly. It was rare to see Shiv so vulnerable, but you knew that pressing her wouldn't help.

- Maybe you're thinking too much. It's just a dress, a ceremony - you said, trying to sound casual, but she laughed in a way that indicated that she didn't believe in any of this.

- It's not about that, and you know it.

The exchange of glances was fast, but significant. Shiv was always good at changing the subject when she wanted to avoid something, and this time it was no different.

- Speaking of obvious things, how are you and Kendall?

You blinked, surprised by the turnaround, and tried to regain control.

– Shiv, no...

- Don't come to me with that. I'm not blind - she interrupted, pointing at you with the cup. - And, honestly, it's even kind of funny to watch you two pretending that no one notices.

- I thought today was just about you - you tried, one last attempt to divert the focus.

Shiv leaned back on the couch, arching an eyebrow.

– And it is. But who said I can't have a little fun in the process?

You snorted, trying not to smile, but Shiv was determined not to let the subject die.

– He's in love with you.

The phrase was as casual as it was devastating, like an electric shock in the middle of the conversation.

- No... - You tried to speak, but Shiv cut you off without even hesitating.

– Yes, it is. And that's stamped on his face. He looks at you as if you were the only person in the room. Why do you keep fooling yourself?

- You're being dramatic. - You answered, trying to stay calm, but the irritation was already taking over.

Before she could continue, the sound of her phone ringing cut off the conversation. He was at the coffee table, strategically closer to Shiv than to you.

Both looked at each other, and the chaos began.

- No, Shiv, don't do that! - You shouted, running to the phone, but, of course, Shiv was faster.

- Very late! - She laughed, holding the device high as if it were a trophy, the expression of fun on her face.

- Give it back to me, Siobhan! - You exclaimed, running after her through the room.

Shiv, as always, loving the chaos, took an exaggerated step back and almost stumbled on the layers of the dress, but managed to hold the phone masterfully.

- Guess who it is? - She said, smiling mercilessly.

You stopped for a second, annoyed.

- Shiv... - You grumbled, crossing your arms and staring at her. - Return this now.

- It's not with me he wants to talk to. - She said with a tone of someone who knew how much it bothered you. - But I'll let you answer him. He's going to have some big request, like... marriage.

Before you could give a sharp answer, a knock on the door interrupted everything. The sound cut the air with unexpected precision, and Shiv's gaze instantly turned from fun to something more... curious.

You frowned, thinking it was someone from your house or, perhaps, some unforeseen event, but I didn't expect what would come next.

It was a firm, calculated beat, as if the person knew exactly the right time to interrupt.

- Are you waiting for someone? - Shiv asked, with a funny smile on his face, as if the scene was ready to be filmed.

You didn't answer. He walked to the door, still with his heart racing by the adrenaline of the persecution and the conversation with Shiv. When he opened the door, a forced smile formed on his face, but when he saw who was there, the environment seemed to freeze for a moment.

Oliver.

Your brother. The only one who, although he didn't have permission, interrupted at any time. And what seemed to be a casual visit had, as always, the touch of non-commitment that only he knew how to give.

- Oliver? - You asked, the surprise and irritation stamped on your face, but, at the same time, there was a subtle relief in knowing that he still had this free pass to invade your life. - What are you doing here?

He entered without ceremony, the irreverent smile on his face as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I didn't have that sense of limit that most people tried to have.

- Can't I stop by my sister's house? - He said, throwing himself on the couch as if it were his own house, provoking the chaos of the room to a more... familiar level. More messy, more comfortable.

You stood still, still with your cell phone in your hand, your thoughts scattered, the device screen reflecting something more important that you were trying to ignore. Kendall's name. It wasn't the time.

- Won't you answer? - He asked carefreely, like someone who didn't know exactly the impact of that question, but was having fun with it.

Shiv, watching the scene with his arms crossed, arched an eyebrow, clearly seeing that the tension was accumulating. You took a look at the screen and, without thinking too much, turned off the cell phone, throwing it on the coffee table.

Oliver, without missing the rhythm, looked at you with that look of someone who is trying to read more than he should. His smile disappeared for a second, giving way to a fragility that you rarely saw in him. Something that made you hesitate.

- Can we talk? - He asked, his voice lower, with a slight hesitation that was out of the usual irreverent pattern. That took you by surprise, but you didn't comment. I knew he only spoke like that when he really wanted something.

It was then that, with the sharp perception he had, Shiv decided to leave the room, as if he already knew exactly what was to come.

- I'll get another bottle - she said with the lightness of someone who knew what was happening and didn't want to be part of the show. Without looking back, she left the room, leaving you and Oliver alone with the impending chaos.

You felt a tension grow in the air, a kind of internal pressure that you couldn't get rid of. He sat down again, facing him, waiting for him to finally say something. Something other than all this mess.

- So what? What happened now? - His voice came out cutting, without patience, but deep down there was a slight frustration. Not only because of his situation, but because of his own inability to deal with it in a simple way.

Oliver seemed tiny now, vulnerable, as if the weight of the world had on his shoulders. He, who was always the irreverent and sure of himself brother, was there, with a tired face and an unshaved, as if he were completely lost.

- I'll get straight to the point. - His voice was deep and serious. He leaned forward, as if that were a difficult weight to carry. - I need money.

You let out an incredulous laugh, unable to hide the disbelief.

- You're kidding, right? - His reaction was pure skepticism, as if he was asking for something absurd, unreal.

- No. - He insisted, without even blinking. He seemed more serious than you've ever seen him. - It's serious. I have no one to turn to.

The idea that he was really in that situation made you feel a strange mixture of anger and frustration. You always knew he was on the edge, but you never imagined you would get to that. Something was happening, and somehow you knew he was putting himself in an extremely vulnerable position. That wasn't just a distress call. It was a request for you, perhaps, to save him from an abyss. But you were not an easy person to convince, and you knew how to manipulate events in your favor.

- What the fuck are you talking about? - His voice was becoming sharper as his words gained a new perspective. There was something else behind that request, something else he wasn't saying.

- I messed with some dangerous people and... - He was interrupted by his impatience.

You got up, walking around the room, anger rising along with the feeling that the pieces began to fit. It was difficult to process his shame, but you knew this could be an opportunity.

His game was lost, and he knew it. This was where you could give the final blow, even if it wasn't the most ethical move. But it was necessary, there was no choice. The business was too big, and he was an obstacle. An obstacle that you could remove.

- Fuck, Oliver... - Your voice sounded like an explosion, but deep down, you were analyzing the possibilities. - I can't believe you're messing with bets again.

He was silent, as if he was letting you release your anger. It didn't make sense to argue anymore, but at the same time, I knew that it was no longer about him, it was about what he represented.

- Do you sell any of your cars, I don't know, what do you need so many? - You didn't know anymore if you were trying to help you or just getting rid of a problem. The game was changing too fast to leave any room for morality.

But he didn't give in, and in your answer, you felt the turn.

- You know I can't. - He spoke in a louder voice now, almost desperate. - Nancy would find out. She already threatened to take the children out of the country last time.

You took a deep breath, the stress of the situation almost suffocating you, but at the same time, the mind was already tracing the next movement. The logic was clear: money for him, and a price for you. The idea arose and, even though it was condemnable, it seemed inevitable.

- Yeah, maybe she should do that. - You answered, more cynical than you imagined you were capable. But somewhere, deep down, a part of you had already decided what to do. - How much do you need?

He seemed relieved, but you knew he was just starting the real game.

- I promise I'll pay you, I... - He tried to hurry the answer, but you cut him off quickly.

- How much, Oliver? - His anxiety was not his concern. You already knew the value he was going to give.

He hesitated, and then, with a heavy sigh, answered.

– About fifteen million.

You couldn't help laughing.

– Of course. Let me get my wallet. - His laugh was bitter, colder than anything else. - You can only be crazy, it's not possible.

The tension in the room was palpable, but his mind was already elsewhere. The opportunity was there, and you felt that there was no turning back. It was now or never.

You turned to him, your expression totally impassive.

- Very well. - The voice was direct and firm. - I'll give you the money.

He seemed to relax, but before he could react, you released the bomb.

– But there's a condition.

He looked at you, waiting for an answer, and you, with a calculated calm, let go of what you knew would change everything.

- You will give up being CEO. - The word "CEO" was in the air, heavy, definitive.

He was lost. It wasn't a choice, it was a necessity and you were ready to take advantage of it.

Oliver seemed to be digesting the impact of that, the initial anger giving way to pure disbelief.

- What? - He looked like he had been punched in the stomach. The expression of horror on his face was unmistakable.

- It's my proposal. - His voice was firm, with no room for contestation. It wasn't a negotiation, it was a decision.

He blinked, stunned, not knowing how to react. Anger and indignation mixed, but he couldn't go back. Not after that.

- Are you crazy? - He questioned, anger exploding now. - This amount barely covers a third of the total value of my share in the company.

You didn't flinch. I already knew what was at stake.

- I don't want to buy your share. - His answer was cold. - I want to buy your loyalty. A statement of resignation from office delivered personally to dad.

He got up with an abrupt movement, anger dominating him. He was about to explode.

- Is this more important to you? Do you have any idea what you're doing? If I don't pay these people, they can come after me! - He was furious, and the tension in the room was unbearable.

You stood there, ruthless, each word cutting deeper.

- So it's better to contact your lawyer today. - Your calmness seemed sharper than any scream. - Because if you don't do that, the problem will be totally yours.

He stood still for a moment, anger burning in his eyes. And then, like a hurricane, he turned around and left the room, slamming the door so hard that the sound echoed throughout the house.

The tension was still in the air when you allowed yourself to take a deep breath and push the conversation with Oliver to the back of your mind. But, as always, things didn't stay in place for a long time. When Shiv reappeared at the living room door, with the bottle of wine in her hands, you knew that she had captured the weather. The lightness of her smile contrasted directly with the weight of the moment.

- Do you need wine? - She asked, her look sharp and understanding, almost as if she were reading every line of her face. You smiled, a quick smile, but sincere.

- I think we need something stronger. - The answer escaped without thinking, and the tension in his chest seemed to give a momentary relief. You got up, running your fingers through your hair, not wanting to delve further into anything related to what had just happened. He walked to the kitchen, without looking back, but feeling Shiv's presence as a silent support.

While you and Oliver were arguing, Shiv took care of sending the team away. She, still with that exaggeratedly beautiful wedding dress, stood there, a comic figure in the middle of so much mess, but something in her seemed intentionally out of place, perhaps the very discomfort she brought when wearing that dress, in contrast to the situation. But at the same time, she was the last person to be affected by the chaos.

Without further words, the two walked to the outdoor area of their apartment, the night already falling softly on the city. Shiv carried a glass of whiskey, and you, to balance, a marijuana cigarette. The scene was almost comical, like a time capsule, a memory of college days where everything seemed simpler. The contrast between the luxury of the environment and the objects you carried was hilarious, but also extremely satisfying.

- Let's remember the college days now. - You said, laughing while litting the joint.

The soft wind of the night played with your hair, and you could hardly believe you were there, with Shiv, at that very moment. The sunbeds under your back were the perfect place to get lost in the slowly darkening sky, and for a moment you forgot the problems that still hung over you.

Shiv, in turn, not only laughed at his sentence, but also felt the change of energy. She took the whiskey glass and, with a carefree attitude, looked at you, waiting for the moment to have something in return.

- Come here. - She asked with a smile, the same tone as always, as if she were having fun, but perhaps understanding that the night needed to go on, as a temporary escape from the complications that were there, earlier.

While the joint burned slowly and the whiskey passed from one to the other, the sound of the city darkening in the background sounded like a soft melody that filled the silence. Sitting on the sun loungers, the tranquility of the moment involved you in a way you hadn't experienced for a long time. The weight of worries, intense conversations and daily dilemmas dissipated, replaced by an unexpected lightness. It was as if everything was in slow motion, and the soft breeze that passed through his face was the only sign that the world was still turning.

Shiv seemed immersed in the same state. Her eyes were a little softer, and her smile, looser, conveyed a feeling of freedom that she rarely let through. But, like all good times, this one also came to an end. She got up, still with the bar of the dress in her hands, holding it with the naturalness of someone who was already used to moving between chaos and luxury with an almost comic lightness.

- I think I'm on my way. Tom must be crazy thinking that I ran away. - The laugh that followed the sentence was light.

You laughed together, the lightness of the situation still hovering between you two.

- Will you be okay? - She asked, a touch of concern hidden under the joke.

- Of course. - His answer was almost automatic, the light smile on his lips and the body relaxed by the feeling of being floating. The lightness of the drug helped, or at least that's what you said to yourself.

Shiv took a quick look at you before walking away, and with the corner of her mouth still curved into a smile, she made one last comment.

- Okay, don't sleep out here. - She warned, but the way she said that seemed more like a provocation than real advice.

You laughed at the sentence, feeling a little warmth in your chest. It was funny, but also comforting. Her presence has always been looser than yours, and that moment seemed to capture the spirit of this unique friendship.

She then went through the glass door, closing it gently behind her. The door click was like a marker that separated that moment from something different, but you didn't know what. His mind began to wander, the thoughts became lighter, as if everything that was happening was a great joke of fate. And, somehow, there was always a person occupying his thoughts.

Kendall

Shiv's words still echoed in his mind, but not in the intense way before. Under the effect of drinks and marijuana, they seemed soft, almost comfortable, as if they belonged to a pleasant dream. You knew you should be worried or at least skeptical, but at that moment, everything seemed... simple.

And, in the end, it was the sound of the elevator stopping on your floor that broke the bubble of your tranquility. The sound was subtle, but unmistakable, enough to pull you back to the present. You didn't have to wait to know who it was. When the door opened, Kendall's silhouette emerged, illuminated by the little light that entered the window.

His eyes swept the mess of the room - the abandoned dresses, the empty bottles, the trail of a night that clearly got out of control. But when he saw you passing through the then glass door, a subtle change occurred in your expression. Something between relief and curiosity passed through his eyes.

- I didn't think you'd come. - His voice came out soft, almost carefree, while you left the empty bottle on the counter.

He smiled slightly, but the smile had something more - that exhausted charm that only he seemed to have.

- I wasn't going to come, but... I don't know. - He shrugged, crossing the space between you slowly. - I think... I wanted to see you.

That simple confession seemed heavy coming from him, but you didn't have time to absorb it completely. The lightness he felt in his body and mind, combined with his tone, brought a lazy smile to his face.

- You didn't drink all this alone, did you? - He asked, looking at the bottles and then at you, the humor evident in the discreet curve of his mouth.

- No, Shiv helped me. - You replied with a muffled laugh, feeling the soft body as you walked towards him, as if gravity was just a suggestion.

As he approached, what should be a quick greeting gained another intensity. Their bodies almost touched each other before their lips met. A kiss that started simple, but lasted longer than usual. You leaned lightly on him, feeling his hands go up to your face, moving the strands of hair away from your face while the kiss deepened for brief, intense seconds.

When you moved away, he laughed lightly, the low sound breaking the comfortable silence between you.

- You're pretty stoned, huh? - He said, the playful tone, but with an almost imperceptible tenderness.

You let out another laugh, the sound echoing through the room as if nothing could weigh at that moment.

- Maybe a little. - You shrugged, amused, as you started walking towards the room. He followed behind, silently, as if he knew it was the place where the conversation - or the night - needed to end.

The walk was slow, almost clumsy. You stumbled slightly on a carpet on the way, but before you could really lose your balance, Kendall was already there, her hand firm on your waist. He held you easily, as if he was used to anchoring you when you faltered.

- Okay, definitely stoned. - He commented, his voice mixing fun and a softer tone, the one he rarely showed.

You laughed, leaning on his shoulder for a moment before straightening up.

- Yeah, I think so. - Your answer came out light, almost innocent, and you walked again.

When you finally got to the room, you practically collapsed on the bed. The mattress sank slightly under the weight of your body, and you let out a satisfied sigh, feeling the tiredness finally reach you. Kendall stood for a few seconds, watching you with a look that seemed contemplative, almost hesitant. But then he turned off the lights and joined you, pulling the covers over both with almost exaggerated care.

He lay down next to you, keeping a small space between you at first. But after a few moments of silence, he gave in. With a hesitant movement, he pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your waist, as if he wanted to protect you from something invisible.

He thought you were already sleeping, but when he began to close his eyes, his low and sleepy voice surprised him.

- Ken. - The sound of the nickname made him open his eyes. He responded with a murmur, encouraging you to continue.

You were silent for a moment, long enough for him to think that maybe you had given up talking. But then, your voice sounded again, muffled and almost childish in the honest way you said:

- I think Shiv is wrong.

The sentence made his body stiffen slightly, and he tried not to react in an obvious way.

- About what? - He asked, keeping his voice neutral, but the curiosity was clear.

- About you falling in love with me. - You answered, with your eyes still closed, breathing slowly and relaxed. - I don't think it's true... But I would like it to be.

The room plunged into silence for a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. Kendall was quiet, her gaze fixed on the ceiling as she processed what you had just said.

Finally, he spoke, his voice lower than usual, almost a whisper:

- Why do you think she would be wrong?

You didn't answer right away, and he thought that maybe you had already fallen asleep. But then, his hand slid over his, as if it were an automatic gesture.

- I don't know... Maybe I'm not exactly someone who makes sense to you.

The sincerity in his words disarmed him. He wanted to say something, anything, but all he could do was shake your hand gently, as if that was enough to give you some answer.

The night followed in a serene rhythm after that. The room plunged into silence, except for the soft sound of your breathing, which soon became deeper and more constant, indicating that you had finally succumbed to sleep.

Kendall remained awake for some time, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He couldn't ignore the words you had said, nor the vulnerable way they had escaped from you, so natural and unarmed that it hit him hard.

His gaze went down to his hand, still resting on his. It was a simple gesture, but so intimate that he felt an almost childish emotion grow inside him - something between joy and fear. He didn't know how to deal with that, with the idea that, perhaps, what he felt was not as unilateral as he feared.

Carefully, he adjusted the blanket over you, allowing himself a small smile that seemed almost forbidden. For a moment, he felt like someone different, someone better, someone with a real chance to be happy.

The night dragged on to him, each hour seeming longer than the previous one, while he woke up from time to time, restless, his mind circling around what you had said. The emotions, mixed with tiredness, began to weigh, but sleep, in its nature, ran away from him.

________________________

The room was quiet, except for the distant sound of traffic filtered by the windows. The golden light of the morning spread gently through the room, illuminating the edges of the curtains and projecting soft shadows on the crumpled sheet. The heat under the covers was comfortable, almost too inviting to get out of there.

You blinked slowly, feeling the weight of sleep still stuck to your body. He only realized that he was not alone when he moved slightly and felt his arm around him.

Kendall

His body was still close to yours, calm breathing against the back of his neck. The night before unfolded in his mind like comforting flashes - the laughter, the confession, the touch. For a moment, you just stood there, feeling the tranquility of the moment, allowing yourself to absorb that without haste.

So, he moved behind you. You felt his body stretch slightly, the slow and lazy movement. Soon after, a low sound escaped from his throat, something between a sleepy grumble and a satisfied sigh.

- Good morning - he murmured, his voice still hoarse, full of sleep.

You smiled lightly before answering.

- Good morning.

The comfortable silence remained for a few more moments before Kendall broke it, his voice sounding a little more awake now.

- Did you sleep well?

- Better than I expected.

He let out a short laugh.

- Does that mean you expected to sleep badly?

You just shrugged, turning slightly to face him.

- No, I just didn't know what to expect.

His eyes were half-closed, still getting used to the light, but the expression was calm, unhurried.

Kendall slid her hand behind her head, looking at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. Then, with a tone that seemed too casual to be really unpretentious, he asked:

- And... are we going to talk about yesterday?

You knew immediately what he was talking about.

His gaze diverted for a second, as if the question was something you still weren't sure if you wanted to face so soon.

- Do you want to talk about it now?

- I think so.

The way he answered, so direct, made you let out a nasal laugh.

- Don't you know how to wait even five minutes after waking up?

He gave a small smile, but his gaze remained stuck in you.

- Not when it's something important.

You were silent for a moment. Part of you wanted to postpone this conversation, wanted to let things just be easy, at least for a few more hours. But I also knew that, if he were in his place, he would be asking the same question.

Then he sighed, giving in.

- Before you ask: Yes, I remember what I said.

- And?

You watched him for a moment before smiling from the corner, trying to relieve the tension.

- Well, I already said what I feel yesterday.

Kendall's low laugh filled the room, a soft and genuine sound.

- So that's it? Is it for real?

There was a touch of disbelief in his voice, as if a part of himself was still waiting for you to retreat.

You didn't back down.

- Although I have many reasons indicating that we shouldn't do that... yes, it is. At least for me.

The vulnerability in his words hovered in the air, like something too delicate to be ignored.

Kendall was silent for a few seconds, as if processing the weight of what you had said. Then, with a sigh, he turned a little more to you.

- It's not like we haven't already started.

You laughed lightly, the sound escaping before you could control it.

- Yeah, I don't think so.

His gaze softened, and then, with a slow and carefree movement, he raised his hand to his face, his fingers lightly brushing his cheek.

And then, before she could say anything else, Kendall leaned over and kissed you.

It was an unhurried kiss, quiet, but firm enough for you to know that he understood.

When he walked away, a small smile pulled his lips.

You smiled back, feeling a comfortable heat spread over your chest.

- Let's see what will turn out.

Kendall let out a nasal laugh, but said nothing. Just put an arm around your waist and pulled you slightly closer, letting the morning unfold without haste.

Outside, the rest of the world was still waiting.

But for now, you could stay there.

Just a little more. _________________________________

masterlist

comments and likes will be greatly appreciated!

xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨

[koeniginderskizzen]

Nobody asked for it, I'm continuing anyways

Here is a sketch of my idea for a Pokémon trainer Kris

This time I based them on the "mean Rival type". Designwise, I wanted to base them more on Silver, while Pokémon wise, I thought of Gladion.

Since Kris is a Rival, they get the previlige of having a Starter Pokémon, as well as having 5-6 Pokémon in their team.

For their Starter I chose Dewott, for the simple reason of sharp object and blue. Also it's ears look like little horns, and it also has these little hairstrains on it's head.

Next I think Kris would have a Dipplin. With dipplin we not only get Kris's apple theme, but also, Dipplin has actually 2 dragon inside it's one apple, which could be symbolic for us and Kris sharing a body. I also like the potential of a Pokéverse story, with Kris maybe evolving their applin just before we posess them (they did not plan this) or them evolving/catching one after they get posessed, and thus being able to relate to it in a weird way, or even not relate to it at first, but maybe being able to learn and cope with it's help.

Now the Pokémon I think Kris would have, because they kinda just vibe with their energy, namely Sableye and Morgrem. Both of them have a mischevious gremlin energy, and while Morgrem shares Kris's hairstyle, Sableye has similaritys with Zombies and is also said to steal people's souls. Not exactly a perfect parallel to Kris, but it reminded me of them.

And, for a little bit of angsty metaphore sprinkled in, I think Kris would have a Yamask. They carry their old face from when they were a human with them, and sometimes when you look at it, it tears up.

Lastly, even though I kinda want them to only have 5 Pokémon, I think Ceruledge could be also a good fit, but like with Noelle and Delibird, probably after going through an arc. It's really hard to say, since Deltarune isn't finished yet. Design wise, Ceruledge fits Kris's dark world outfit really well, and even though this is mostly speculation, Ceruledge's pokédex entry in relation to Kris is also pretty interesting. I just think Kris having such a strong Knight Pokémon, when most of this imaginary team is only either unevolved or in their middle stage, and more importantly, when it's currently still up in the air if they even are the Knight, is a little out of place. I think it would be cool, if they had a Ceruledge in the dark world hough.

[greensagephase]

Alondra, I loved the Thanksgiving Nonviolent Communication Drabble!! This was just so sweet to read, especially with seeing Miguel and readers' friendship really show now that they’re starting to feel more comfortable being with one another. The fact they have dinner every Saturday now!! 🥹 and when Miguel can’t help but smile when he sees reader working with him 😭 and when he blushes a bit when reader compliments him and his cooking! its just too cute!! I can't help but say thank you every time you include the coffee cup detail, I just smile so much when I read it! The whole interaction of them trying to ask each other to have dinner with one another for Thanksgiving??!! I was giggling so much reading that, too cute! and Lyla just absolutely helping with the conversation 😂 I love how their conversations have also gotten more causal, in the way that they banter more, Miguel smiling more!! I also just love their friendship!!

The messages with the gang was so cute too, and omg this line “The whole government name...” from Hobie when Miguel finally responds 🤣 but the fact Miguel was actually open to invite everyone over for dinner too 🥹 I love how we're seeing him open up a bit more now that he's really trying to change for the better, and its just so nice seeing it come into fruition slowly. I’m so happy that Miguel is making so many new wonderful memories in his penthouse!! I keep mentioning this but I smile so much every time they say “always” to each other, I’ll never get over it! ❤️

The conversation with Peter B- first I love the way you write him too, you capture his personality really well! and just- he knows that this friendship between you and Miguel is special 🥹 and I know he's rooting for them too!! ok and the reference to Lyla's secret stash of photos 😂 of course they're appropriate photos only, right? (I love how you write Lyla too! her little quips with Miguel is always funny!!) The ending of this was really sweet too, despite Miguel holding back still with physical touch, the day that one of them comforts the other physically- I'm going to freak out (in a good way) but I still love the slowburn of it all!! I can't wait to read more and see their friendship evolve!!! I hope this doesn’t sound too cheesy but I’m thankful for coming across your story on here and just- thank you everything, and for continuing to write Nonviolent Communication, especially with how busy it can be this time of year!! Thank you, Alondra!!! ❤️✨

I couldn't help but sketch these out from this part right away!! no seriously I loved all these moments, and Miguel in the apron 👀

Hi @sunsetdoodler !! I'm so happy you loved the drabble!! I had a lot of fun writing this for different reasons, one being I just wanted a sweet and comforting moment for Thanksgiving with Miguel. Then it was also fun because it's very lighthearted compared to what I've been writing for part 11. On top of that, it was fun thinking about what their friendship looked like at this point of the year when part 11 takes place 4+ months before. Lowkey feel sad I didn't get part 11 out before then because now we'll have to jump back in time 😮‍💨 but AHH I loved the progress in their friendship and as you said, how much more casual their conversations are on top of the fact they have dinner every Saturday (I just love it so much!!). Also, Miguel throughout this entire drabble was SUCH A TREAT. I loved writing him looking at reader behind his shoulder and smiling; blushing when reader compliments him; and him cooking all of dinner (I also loved including that he had already bought everything 😭). And omg, the coffee cup detail!! I will include it as many times as I can because I love it even though it's such a small thing but so important!! Haha, the part with them talking in unison to ask each other about dinner and Lyla knowing what's going and just taking the opportunity to tease them- I had to!! I don't include Lyla a lot in the main parts but I wanted to for this and it was so much fun adding her teasing to the drabble (especially her clapping at the end for them and Miguel telling her to shut up!!

Also, the messages from the gang! I had so much fun with those! You can tell because I even went in and color coded them as much as I could with the colors Tumblr has to their assigned colors; my favorite one to do was Hobie's for the inconsistency! 🤣 The "full government name" line - the way I knew I needed to include that and have Hobie say it! Definitely one of my favorite things about this drabble, not gonna lie! I also love that Miguel found it amusing! Regarding Miguel being open to inviting them, SAME! Once again, it was fun to think of where Miguel is at months in advance (seriously, I'm upset I didn't put part 11 out sooner) and have him being open to inviting them to his home and making a new memory in his penthouse (I just want this man to feel happy in his own home, I swear 😭)! And their little "Always"! I've been feeling like maybe I'm including it too much but I love it so much because it's theirs, just for each other, so I'll just continue using it.

I'm so happy you liked Peter B's conversation and the way I wrote him! I was actually nervous about it because I haven't included much dialogue for the other spider members and I always like to keep it as close as possible to how I think they'd actually speak. So, I was literally writing that part yesterday and playing around with the structure of his statement to see what made sense while hearing Jake Johnson's voice in my head (I didn't mind it one bit because I love him but it was kind of funny I was sitting there writing this in between breaks while cooking with my family lol)! But yes, he knows it's a special friendship and he's definitely rooting for them (so is Mayday, hehe 😌)! As to Lyla's secret stash of photos - we can only hope but we're not too sure right now. Miguel has tried to look for the file but can't find it so I guess only time will tell 😂 but omg, no, writing Lyla for this drabble was so much fun, I swear! I wish I could include her more in the main series but most times reader and Miguel are having serious conversations and so it just doesn't feel right to include her sassiness but maybe now that reader and Miguel are more casual with each other, that might change! And thank you, it seriously makes me so happy that you like the way I wrote her and Peter B.!

Omg, Miguel thinking about physical touch and that whole little part just made me wish we were there already but we must remain strong! It's coming soon but not yet. I already have that part planned out and just thinking about it makes me want to scream in a good way because before we get to that good screaming part there's gonna be sad screaming and that's all I'm going to say about that but just know - reader and Miguel having intentional and full on physical contact is coming soon!!!

And @sunsetdoodler 🥺🥺 I'm thankful this story found you because you're seriously one of my fav moots! I genuinely love interacting with you whenever we get the chance to! And no need to thank me 😭but I will try my best! I wish I could've posted part 11 sooner but I've been busy decorating the exterior of my home for Christmas, which I'm not even done with lol! But thank you so much for the lovely and kind words as always!!

AND NOW LET ME TALK ABOUT THESE SKETCHES!!!! The ones with them facing each other and the visibly height difference on top of the EYE CONTACT JHDGLK (God knows I couldn't handle that but for Miguel O'Hara I will certainly try my best 🫡) - DEAD!! The way Miguel's face is so soft and he just has this look of adoration for her and just AHHH HE'S SOFT FOR READER with his raised eyebrows but then the way his face changes with Lyla when he tells her to shut up!!! SO CUTE OMG!! Then Miguel's somewhat amused expression as he reads Hobie's message (I didn't mention this earlier but I couldn't stop thinking about their interaction in ATSV when Miguel meets Miles and he's getting on to Gwen and Hobie and he tells Hobie, "I'm just gonna try and ignore you - I just can't - I can't even-" pretty sure he says "I can't even look at you"(?) at the end and Hobie's response! I like to think they still keep this kind of interaction but it's more friendly now especially with reader being what ties them together lol)! AND THEN MIGUEL IN AN APRON!!!! No because why does Miguel wearing an apron sound so comforting to me???? AND HIM DRYING HIS HANDS - I swear I'm delusional for going mad over the most basic things ever but AHHHH!! Thank you for drawing these sketches and showing them to me!!!! I LOVE EACH ONE SO MUCH 😭❤️ Also, I love Lyla at the top just watching this unfold hehe, I swear I need to include her more in the main parts but THANK YOU SO MUCH @sunsetdoodler !!!!! Also, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you found the time to relax a bit this week despite having so many projects! Thankfully the semester will be over soon and you can truly relax!!! Sending you a warm virtual hug and wishing you the best as you enter the last few weeks of the semester! You got this!!! ✨❤️✨

-Alondra

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! Starting with the one about the Azul sketch from yesterday, Trey/Deuce (briefly), Azul/Malleus and some other stuff.

Anonymous asked:

Yes, my absolute octobaby. You’ll make them pay, we’ll show them. We’ll show them all.

(This is the start of my villain arc because Azul and his big eyes can have whatever they want. 😩)

Hehe thank you Anon! <3 Becoming a villain because of Azul’s big eyes is one of the most valid reasons that could exist…

Anonymous asked:

The legs are so beautiful in peak male performance, I want to DEVOUR THEM ALL.

(this is about this post)

Thank you so much, Anon!! Feel free to devour them! I am glad they look tasty <3

Anonymous asked:

Womb Tattoo Anon here. When I noticed how long it was taking for you to reply I knew I was in for something good! You never fail to deliver. But now you're teasing us with a potential Trey/Deuce ship?? How could you!

Womb Tattoo Anon, you’re back! I am happy you finally got your post after waiting for so long… and I am very glad you liked it <3

And yes indeed we are teasing you with a potential Trey/Deuce ship~ We’ve been thinking about them for a while now; they’re like a faraway land that is very wonderful, but we haven’t fully reached it yet… I still hope that we’ll dive into it at some point in the future.

They have some very fun interactions, but I hope to see more, plus to be honest one of the reasons they became a thing to us is their seiyuu working in BL together lol

Anonymous asked:

It's been a while since I've been through your blog, and I just saw your Azumal Fanart?! Omfg! I loved it! Are you and katsu shipping Azul x Malleus now?! Do you have any headcanons about these two??

I swear Azul has a thing for strong/powerful people with connections, lol.

(this is about this post)

Thank you, Anon!! <3 Like I mentioned in the other reply, I drew this particular fanart because of the random character kissing game that Katsu and I did, and Malleus got to smooch Azul. Both Malleus and Azul are twisted (heh) in their own way, and with Malleus being a tease and Azul not wanting to miss out on the opportunity to gain great connections with powerful people (+being enamoured because who wouldn’t be if Malleus smooches them), it could lead to some shenanigans.

That being said, this isn’t really a ship for us, we’re just entertaining the idea for now. So I don’t really have a lot of headcanons in my head... but I did mention them in this post about heat-of-the-moment hookups!

Here is one headcanon though! Azul doesn’t like dancing, but if he was to try dating Malleus (even if it’s just going on a singular date with him), they will absolutely dance. Malleus knows that Azul isn’t the best at it, but would dedicate all his free time to training to impress him (he did dance well in the Glorious Masquerade, after all), and knowing that, Malleus wouldn’t warn Azul beforehand that he is planning to dance with him. He just wants to see poor Azul stressed and constantly looking down at his feet while still trying to look like a proper gentleman, leading in a dance with a man 30 cm taller than him. Malleus would chuckle and say that his eyes are up here…

Anonymous asked:

Funny story, I actually went to AXCON in 2019 when they were hyping the release of Twisted Wonderland the next year and so I got to see the booth and such. I remember thinking that it looked good and that I was interested in playing it. When it came out, I downloaded it….and proceeded to not play it until last year. And that was only because my sister had seen stuff of Idia at another con, told me how his design looked neat and I suddenly remembered then game I got 958384972 years ago.

I’ve been hooked ever since. Incidentally, Idia’s my favorite.

Anon, I am so happy you found love. I am so happy Idia is your favourite lol I bet it’s very cool to be aware of twst from back in 2019, and then witnessing how it evolved over the years, even if you weren’t interested at first.

It’s like you look at the clock and decided one day… it’s time.

[kategriffin]

A Glimpse of Camelot

It's been awhile since I've posted. But that's because I've been caught up with university, work, and writing - specifically writing something new. Not new to me, but new to the internet of course.

Aside from my Anne Boleyn novel-in-progress, I've been working on a retelling of the Arthurian legends. I grew up watching Merlin (BBC) as a kid, and I wanted to continue that world for myself. But it has evolved into so much more. I wanted to focus more on the main female characters of the legends - namely Guinevere and Morgana. And thus those are our two main perspectives throughout the novel.

The first few chapters of this work-in-progress have been workshopped and I feel confident that they will not change (much) as I continue to write. So I wanted to share some of this story - this story I've been creating for three years now, and a story I hope to continue creating past the initial novel.

This will eventually be published (I am hoping and manifesting) - so please follow along. This will be a story filled with magic, epic love, and heroic battles. There will be some familiar stories and characters, and some of my own creation, my own addition to these legends I've heard so much of.

Here is Part 1 of the first chapter, told from the perspective of Lady Guinevere, a seventeen-year-old noble maiden:

Lady Guinevere sat at the back of her father’s carriage, her eyes set on the trees that rushed past, creating a blur of green and brown. The journey was long, and she was restless. Her hands moved restlessly across the ornate fabric of her dress, which was a shade that matched the blurring leaves of the trees she observed. Every once in a while, she picked a tree to focus on, and let her eyes travel with it for a moment. It was all she could do to fill the time, as she had already finished her needlework of a white rose, the only thing that kept her from having to converse with her father.

Sir Leodegrance, or Leo as his close friends called him, was a kind and merry man, but he wasn’t Mother, despite how much he tried to be. Mother was dead. She had caught the sweating sickness while Father was in Camelot almost a year ago now. He never got to say goodbye… but maybe that had been a good thing. The memory of Mother slipping away before her eyes still haunted Guinevere’s thoughts. She had only been sixteen…

Father had been overly optimistic ever since, an obvious ploy to hide his grief. But still, he couldn’t look Gwen in the eye. She was painfully aware of her similarity to her mother, and she knew that Father saw her mother in every glance. Perhaps the less she acted like Mother the less she would look like her, she thought to herself.

Suddenly, the carriage jolted upwards, followed by a rare huff of disappointment from her father. She glanced over at him. His leather journal lay in his lap, a charcoal sketch of the landscape outside scarred by a stray mark of pencil, undoubtedly caused by the carriage’s upheaval. Father loved his sketches, especially ones of nature. Gwen returned her eyes to the trees, and she heard the scribbling resume. She lay her head on the wooden side of the carriage, anticipating a nap. They would not reach the Forest of Sauvage for at least another afternoon.

This was the first time that Gwen had travelled to the Forest, and it would be her first time at the summer festival held there annually. It was an important event for sons of noble birth, but alas, Gwen was an only child, and a daughter, so there was never a need to attend anyways. She didn’t ask why when her father suggested they attend this year. She quietly assumed it was because he was lonely; this was their first summer without her mother. Sir Ector was an old friend of her father’s, and she hoped their reconciliation would bring her father some happiness, or at the very least, some laughter.

The carriage jolted again, this time downwards. It slowed to a stop, the splintering of wood echoing throughout the inside of the carriage.

“Bloody hell,” Father swore under his breath. He pushed open the carriage door, his journal still in hand.

“The wheel seems to have broken, sir,” their  coachman informed him. “It can’t be repaired here. We’ll have to find a woodworker nearby to fix it.”

Father began to ruffle through his journal and pulled out a loose piece of parchment. He unfolded it carefully, revealing a handwritten map, most likely of his own creation.

“We should be fairly close to Sir Ector’s lands on the outskirts of the Forest of Sauvage,” her father mused.

“Perhaps he has a woodworker in his employ.”

“Should I take one of the horses and request Sir Ector’s assistance?”

“Yes, yes, do that. And hurry, if you will, there are only a few hours of daylight left!”

The carriage door swung open, and Father took his previous seat.

“What shall we discuss in the meantime, my dear Guinevere?”

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 774

So yesterday was the Christmas meeting/brunch that my department at work has every year. In past years we would have a White Elephant gift exchange, but this year a few people who set up had gone out and brought a bunch of items for a Christmas game prize and everyone would get one. It was just the order of who got the pick the prize was in order of who managed to complete the Christmas game first.

A lot of these items were what you’d expect for a group of adult women. A charcuterie board, crocheting kit, a large cookie jar with cookies in them,... the sort of thing you’d buy at Homesense or a similar house goods store. Most of those things were things that I, myself would not end up using.

And under normal circumstances this would include a set of papermate felt tip pens that smelled like perfume and a pink notebook that had the face of some pop star on them? Who knows, it looked very weird, but also from the picture, clearly, I chose this.

Why?

Infinity Nikki is why, and that was something I wasn’t expecting out of myself.

Infinity Nikki is a free to play fashion dress up game with platform puzzle exploration, a combination of genres I never thought I would ever have to say. Normally, a game like this I wouldn’t be into because games like these have a gacha mechanic, meaning that the really fancy clothing can only be won by lottery by paying in-game currency. In-game currency that you can also buy with real money (you kind of see the problem there).

I originally agreed to play Infinity Nikki because @wereah asked if I would play it if she did. 

What I wasn’t expecting was an actual really fun game, that so far has made the gacha portion a side feature rather than the whole point of the game. A fact that is very surprising because this is also the Nikki franchise’s first foray into a game that allows movement in a 3D space. The puzzle platforming aspect of the game is not what this franchise has been known for.

And yet the movement and level design of this game is really well done, which suggests that the company has hired experts and listened to them when making this game. So I wanted to continue the game, but Infinity Nikki, for better or worse, is also an overwhelming game.

Because it is a free to play game, one of their main metrics is how long players play their game. So these games tend to be designed to keep the player playing. Infinity Nikki has done this by designing large open maps with a lot of little things to explore, play and discover. On top of the main quests, the side quests, map quests and event quests. And on top of that the sketches for clothes that require resources to make (or evolve in the case of the ability outfits). So there are a lot of things to do, and get distracted by.

Coupled by poor short term memory, this game is both a dream and a nightmare for a person with ADHD.

So I wanted a notebook to write down points of interest for myself so that the next time I hop into the game I will remember what my thought process was. Now I have a lot of really nice journals, but honestly, for all I love this game, I don’t want to dedicate a really nice journal to it, especially because I still have pages in my gaming journal that I have to finish.

A gaming journal that seems to be taken up by Santae at the moment and is kind of a mess.

As a result, when I really thought about this silly (kind of ugly) journal at the Christmas get-together I thought, this is something I can write in, and not be precious about. However, it is not the nicest journal, so I took time to cover it with white paper and decorate it with stickers from my collection so it at least looks nicer.

It’s a weird thing to do, but it works.

[etinceelle]

Hey. Hope you're having a wonderful day

Just wanna say that your characters are amazing. Exactly what got you into creating them ? Any sort of inspiration ?

Hey, I'm having a good night and hope you too !

Thank you so much, I'm happy you appreciate them :) I'm happy to tell the tiny story behind their creation-

So, back in march/april 2021 I was in my last year of my bachelor's degree studying animation, and I still wasn't sure about going in the master's degree in animation as well after that. There were a lot of struggles at this moment but anyway

The thing is that for the master we had to create a short film, alone and (almost) fully done by ourselves, so our teachers asked us to start a sort of book or sketchbook to do researches and brainstorming about the film during summer. Even if I wasn't sure to continue I started it, and sketched a lot of stuff and various ideas I had at this moment

Then I ended up not going in the master's degree and taking a gap year instead, but I still continued to sketch stuff in that sketchbook because I still wanted to do my own film at some point. Uni or not the diploma was mostly a reason to make a film, but I in any case I wouldn't be free to do like I want because of teachers' reviews etc. I wanted to make it truly my own, maybe not perfect but just give it a try and be free to tell the story I want.

But I was frustrated because I wasn't finding something that would make me feel like it's my own stuff, it was too similar to RWBY for a lot of things (already a big inspiration at this moment, I was in the V8 brainrot for the first half of 2021 lmao). So I wasn't really going anywhere

BUT, randomly in december 2021 I had a pretty wild and pretty dream, I decided to paint digitally the main scene of it and doodle some concepts I had from it in my sketchbook :

I also ended up writing and composing a tiny song based on it (in french sorry-). It's not perfect at all or anything because I'm not a pro or super good, but creating a link between visual art & music helps me a lot most of the time so I do it (also for fun 'cause I love it) :

After that it didn't evolved much outside of the fact that I already had some sort of script for a "short film" or a teaser idk, I wrote that when I was in uni last winter. But I still wasn't really sure about the main characters or even their designs, even if Gris was the one I thought the most about and changed a lot of stuff

So last january/february I started to work on a first design and turn around for Gris :] (she didn't even have a name yet at this moment)

I continued to think of it until recently at the end of this summer where I sketched another design for her. As for Fauve, I knew for a long time I wanted Gris to have a strong bond with someone to help her go through stuff (and also a gf lol). I never really worked a lot on Fauve, I only knew she was going to have red or brown hair. x)

And I just sketched a first rough thing after Gris and liked it, so I kept it, it was really simple and easier than Gris' researches aha, idk Fauve's vibes felt pretty natural and logical after Gris was done.

Also if you're curious here are some of the first design ideas for them I had back in 2021/2022 :]

It changed a lot--

Anyway, now I'd love to develop more stuff and make a short film :]