#* character study / headcanons

[chyarui]

My poor broken commander, good soldiers follow orders indeed and you were a damn good soldier (even though you’re an asshole, i still love you 💔)

Firmly on the side that believes Fox was under orders from Palpatine to kill Fives. There’s no way any of the vod’e would kill their brothers unless they literally had no choice. He does what he can to honour every brother whose blood is on his hands, directly or indirectly, on the tattoos on his back.

[edwinisms]

you know. I think the reasons it feels so literally narratively wrong when people refer to charles as being straight (such as in interviews where his love life comes up and so on) are that A) he’s never deemed outright straight in the show, so it’s just an assumption that he must be straight by default (which is silly in a show like this), and B) what he says following edwin’s confession. I know I’m biased, but even when I try to look at it as neutrally as possible, the way he reacts in general and the specific words he uses just don’t sound right when you imagine them being said by a Totally Definitely Straight guy.

first of all if you actually listen to it instead of absorbing the scene superficially it’s not particularly a rejection at all, and the actors have stated that themselves– it’s not him saying no, it’s him saying “I can’t give you an answer right now, but I will eventually”. that’s not an interpretation, that’s literally just the truth of what he said (and again, the actors agree). can you imagine a straight guy saying that, or possibly even more damning, “we have literally forever to figure out the rest [“the rest” meaning anything that goes beyond the kind of love charles already solidly has for him]”.

imagine you’re a straight man who’s unwaveringly confident in his orientation and your gay best friend confesses his feelings for you. you would not respond with the implication there is a “the rest” to figure out. since the main, obvious obstacle would be your solid lack of attraction to men, that’d probably be essential to your response– it wouldn’t be a “I can’t say–“ it’d be a “I can’t be–“. and on top of all that, I feel like the whole thing would have to sound far more apologetic– “I’m sorry, I love you and that’ll never change, but I just can’t love you the way that you love me.” something like that, right?

tldr: this is a rare instance in television where assuming a character is straight by default makes Less sense than the alternative. and charles’ choice of words in the confession overtly suggest that he is, at the very least, unsure of his orientation.

[homiesondaweb]

I headcanon that Aaron had absolutely ZERO interest in Miles when Jeff told him Rio was pregnant. He was actually pissed that his older brother was leaving the game and "getting right' for some chick and a baby. Thought Jeff was lame and didn't want part of his nephews life. You can't risk having someone close like that with the work they do. A wife, kids, hell them being siblings was too close to endangerment as it was.

But then Miles was here, and Aaron wasn't that much of an asshole to leave Jeff hanging or drowning. He was 1000% just gonna drop off some pampers, some blue onesies he snagged from GAP and some money then bounce about 3 weeks after Miles was born.

But then Jeff insisted his lil brother hold his son.

So, Aaron rolled his eyes and stiffly let Jeff adjust his hold on the baby boy, he was sleep anyway, was just gonna be a photo for Rio's cheap little flash camera.

But then Miles woke up with the cutest little-big yawn and stretch. His golden doe-like eyes wide and curious at this new face, he gives a hiccup as a greeting, smacking his baby gums and chubby lil lips.

"Uhp"

Aaron is just fucking gone, absolutely smitten, head over heels for this chubby chocolate baby with lil black curls, sunny eyes and a big ole head. It takes three hours and Rio telling him she's got to feed Miles for Aaron to finally relinquish that bébé.

He gets it. He gets wanting to get out the game. Wanting to wrap the world in cotton and bubble wrap and not even let the darkness of a nice night even glance at this Bundle of Good named Miles Alonzo Morales.

It only takes 3 month before Rio and Jeff get used to Aaron just strolling in, snagging lil homie and the diaper bag and telling them they will be back at 3pm sharp. The ridiculous amount of onesies, shits and beanies that match with something Aaron owns they receive. They get used to Aaron insist on carrying nephew like a football around the apartment before he's old enough to be tossed onto shoulder s. They get used to Miles mimicking Aaron as the man sofa-coaches though boxing matches and baseball games on the TV.

Aaron gets used to loving someone more than himself, more than the lure of blood diamonds and deity money.

Aaron isn't as good as he wants to be. And Jeff is getting too good, he applied for the graduated the police academy by the time Miles is 5. The Prowler has been active in New York for just as long.

Aaron loves Miles so much (no offense to Jeff) he's never loved someone and been loved so much that he doesn't deserve it. He can't have those golden Doe eyes look up at him or have those tiny brown hands be dirtied by his violent and grimy ones. Jeff Knows, Aaron Knows.

They don't ever get used to the riff. The distance that bother brother hate but that Jeff puts there anyway. Aaron was part of that world that Miles needed guarded from. They just hold their breaths as Miles acts like a flimsy little bridge because Aaron was too selfish to leave his life before they both got attached.

He regrets it until his last breath and last word when the last thing he sees is those Doe eyes crying for a bad guy like him.

Miles was the best of all of them, Aaron knew that from Miles beginning until his own end.

[thestarstoasun]

Possibly a hot take, but I think the Tartarus trip actually helped Will a lot. Obviously I have my disappointments with the book, but we do not only see Nico healing from the copious amount of trauma Rick fit into him; we get to see Will come to terms with darker parts of himself.

It's canon/very heavily implied (I can't remember and don't feel like looking it up) he came to camp at a very young age, younger than campers that aren't deemed "powerful" or have a strong scent. Despite Will thinking he isn't strong, he is the best healer Camp Half Blood has seen in, what we can assume, at least a century. He's a year-rounder, so he hasn't experienced life on the outside in years. Hell, until Trials of Apollo, his godly parent hardly took notice of him.

His older brothers and other siblings were his biggest supporters and motivators. They looked out for him and took care of him in place of a parent, specifically the older kids (Lee and Michael.) And he lost them during the Dark Prophecy - less than 2 years apart from each other. He didn't even get to search for Michael because Percy took him for a joyride across Manhattan on a motorcycle to help Annabeth.

Even after all of that, its implied/seen that he's someone who is always looking on the bright side of things, never making anything about himself, always helping others, etc. He's a ray of sunshine in everyone's life, never allowing himself to show anyone that he's hurting or suffering because he feels like he just can't. After all, he's Will Solace. He is the head medic, the infirmary can't just stop running. He's the counselor for cabin, his siblings need him to be strong.

He represses his negative emotions, even admits to it in Trials of Apollo. I think he represses them to a point he can avoid/ignore them or pretend they aren't his. It's easier to be a ray of sunshine in people's lives if the negativity and darkness you feel are projected onto someone else.

These tendencies are also something that causes strain in Nico and Will's relationship, because Nico doesn't understand how Will can't see how hypocritical he is. When in reality, Will does know, but it's easier if he avoids it. Ignorance is bliss after all. This doesn't mean Will doesn't work on trying to let Nico in, because he does, sort of.

On bad days, the days when he wakes up and wants nothing more than to curl up in the arms of his older brothers, he would go to Nico's cabin. However, his only explanation would ever be, "im tired." It frustrated him just as much as it upset Nico. He wasn't even sure if his boyfriend could tell. (Nico could, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.)

In Persephone's garden, he was forced to face the fact that there is darkness/negativity/hurt inside of him. He can't deny it when it's right in front of him, so he finally has to stop repressing everything, stop running away, and face his pains.

[cyantt-does-stuff]

Spydad makes me feral in a way I can not truly describe. Spy, an absent father, an asshole who deep down really wants to get to know the son he never stayed for. Scout's mother still loves him. Her other children don't care if he's around or not. But the opinion of the mercenary that is his own flesh and blood is what he cares most for.

The fact that the other mercs probably know. The fact Sniper and Heavy DO know. How Heavy brings up Scout's father. How Sniper urges Spy to do something during his son's 'final' moments.

The fact that Spy granted Scout a petty mercy by being someone who Scout sees a father in, and not himself. By telling him what he's yearned to through another's mouth. Does it kill him inside? I think it does.

And Scout, if he ever found out, would he kick and scream at the revelation? What if he knows already? What if the dreams are fueled by denial. What if Scout sees how similar him and Spy really are?

And when Spy tells him, how would Scout react? Surely, he'd be angry. He'd punch and Spy would take it.

But Scout is his mother's son.

Scout, after yelling and telling Spy just how much he hates him... Scout goes in for a hug that takes Spy by surprise.

Scout says he still hates him.

Scout says he doesn't forgive him.

But he could learn to, if Spy learns to be a father.

And Spy hugs back because, yes, he wants to learn. He's been wanting to learn for twenty or so years.

[0spookymoth0]

Frost strikes me as the kind of dude who's genuinely really kind and caring but most people are afraid to approach him bc of his severe resting bitch face. Like,it doesn't matter how happy he is he just looks perpetually pissed off no matter what.

His introverted nature and monotone sounding voice don't help in the slightest and only really make him seem MORE intimidating and ppl tend to view him as this cold and calculating all powerful sorcerer who wouldn't hesitate to crush anyone who dare slight him. Meanwhile Frost is just this chill nerd who's the mom-friend of the krew and likes telling shitty puns. Even funnier if he just doesn't pick up on this at all,like Frost just assumes their nervousness around him is bc THEY'RE the socially awkward ones

[authormars]

Lucifer being called Diavolo's lapdog in canon is so hilarious to me, because according to me, it's the complete opposite. Sure, Lucifer agrees with everything Diavolo does in public, but in private? Diavolo absolutely worships him.

Diavolo would go to war with the three realms if it meant Lucifer would be happy. He would happily burn the world for him. He would stand by and watch people suffer for his angel.

Diavolo may be nice, but at the end of the day, he's a demon that regularly indulges in sin. He would sooner watch the world crumble than betray his queen.

[halfagone]

This might sound strange but I actually prefer it when Jazz and Danny don't live with each other as adults.

I could understand it out of financial necessity, but otherwise, if these two both have successful careers they deserve to be able to live apart and finally have a space to call their own. And just because they live apart doesn't mean they can't still be close. I bet these two will call each other all the time to catch up, but it's always most important to me that these two have their own space to grow independently.

They have gone so long living in the trenches that they deserve to explore the forest, and the forest is a big place and they want different things in life. They have already made so many compromises in their childhood for their family. And really, the fact that they don't have to make those same sacrifices as adults says so much more about their mental health and safety.

Now they don't feel like they have to constantly watch each other's backs! Now they don't have to share a support system and force their friends to pick sides in arguments! Now they finally have the peace and agency to say, "You don't need me anymore, but I know you still want me in your life."

Their relationship is no longer defined by the mutual dangers they faced in their house! It's no longer an attachment between an older sister regetting not being there enough and a younger brother feeling guilty for something that had never been his fault. They aren't in survival mode anymore!

It's such a beautiful display of their growth and I just- I love it so much.

[motherfuckingmaneater]

Book Bellatrix is (part one):

Very tall. Taller than all three of the trio according to Harry when Hermione uses polyjuice to turn into her.

Quick. She’s able to stun four snatchers at once even when they’re in an uproar against her. They all ‘fell where they stood’ suggesting they didn’t even have time to stop her. Greyback is also restricted before he can even try to stop her and bound and kneeling at her feet.

Still very attractive after Azkaban again according to Harry despite that she makes his stomach lurch every time he looks at her.

Has ‘very long rippling black hair’ that’s not curly. It’s still rippling but now it’s become slightly coarse rather than silken and shiny like it was before Azkaban.

Bloodthirstier. She interrogates Griphook and when she’s satisfied with his answer she casually flicks her wand to cut him deep in the face then doesn’t even look back at him as he falls to his knees and screams in agony.

Thin. Not gaunt looking like she was right after her release from Azkaban but that’s part of why she’s so intimidating. She’s tall and thin.

Violent. She hit Ron across the face (just to get him to shut up) so hard his mouth was filled with blood and the sound was so loud it echoed around the room. She’s so violent it seems second nature.

Low (almost sultry) and disdainful in her baritone / voice. I always read her lines in Angelina’s Maleficent voice.

Not thin lipped! Just puts her lips into a line or purses her lips from time to time.

Feared and revered even amongst the goblins of gringots who ‘do not get involved in wizarding issues’.

Has an outright ‘malevolent aura’. So much so she’s never questioned or affronted. All along Diagon alley people were quickly stealing away from her to hide, too terrified of her to stick around.

Known to be closest to Voldemort even in public and non-pureblood circles.

Terrifying. She’s described as ‘frightening, mad’ when she’s screaming orders — so much so even her own sister who had been reluctant to do as she wants does so anyway. Even Fenrir Greyback is scared of her. When she finally releases him he ‘appeared too weary to approach her’ and would rather ‘prowl behind an armchair’ than get too close to Bellatrix.

Physically strong. Certainly strong enough to drag Hermione by her hair into the middle of the room. Strong enough to throw off Lucius’ attempt to grasp her and capture him herself in her grasp.

Ruthless. ‘If she dies under questioning, I’ll take you next. Blood traitor is next to mudblood in my book.’ Something she tells Ron after she’s hit him. She’s also incredibly calm when she’s being violent or hurting people. She doesn’t think twice on it.

A natural leader. She takes charge in most situations. She gives orders easily and she doesn’t care who she’s giving them to. She tells Draco to ‘move this scum outside. If you haven’t got the guts to finish them then leave them in the courtyard for me.’ When indicating to the snatchers she left unconscious.

[indybob]

Incoming soft hangster headcanon:

Bradley’s love language is physical touch and Jake’s is quality time, which works out perfectly for their relationship.

Jake loves that Bradley is always attached to him because it means they’re always spending time together, even if it’s just a lazy day around the house. Bradley loves that he and Jake are always hugging, kissing, cuddling, or stealing innocent touches, and that his boyfriend never seems to mind🥰

[indecisivecosplayer]

I'm not the biggest fan of Husk being really possessive, jealous and protective over Angel. I feel like above all else he needs someone to stand at his back, and to support his ideas, so here's a little snippet of Husk meeting an old "friend" while Huskerdust are on a date.

Angel is over at the bar chatting up the bartender. Husk is sitting at their table, running his finger over the rim of his empty glass as a sinner leans closer and closer with every word. He is trying his best to hide his discomfort, but the man is irritating. Husk sort of regrets bringing up his date when the guy had asked why he was there.

A guy: Wait Angel? You mean Angel Dust? Like the porn star? Really hit the jackpot there. I’ve seen his skill. Certainly wouldn’t turn down a night with him. I mean, if you’re ever up for sharing?

Angel appears and drapes himself over the guy’s shoulders, speaking into his ears.

Angel: Oh, honey, from the looks of you, you couldn’t afford an hour.

Husk huffs out a laugh.

Husk: Damn right.

Angel sweeps around holds out his hand for Husk to take, scoots up a stool with his foot and sits behind him, his legs parted around Husk’s stool. He puts his chin on Husk’s shoulder and places a small kiss on his neck.

Angel: So, what were we talking about?

The guy mutters some excuse and rushes off.

Husk: You wanna go?

Angel: Nah. Come dance with me.

Angel holds out his hands.

Husk: Think you can keep up?

Angel laughs.

Angel: Says you, old man.

Husk smiles, takes the offered hands and takes the lead.

[anonymousaccountuser]

Okay. I watched Lupin Zero a while back and I’m losing my goddamn MIND over the metaphor of Lupin, a thief, stealing Jigen’s heart. It has been MONTHS and it plagues my mind still. I’m practically tearing my hair out.

Like… Imagine you are a boy. A lonely boy, a boy who’s been hurt his entire life, a boy who was given a gun at the age of five and taught to kill mercilessly without hesitation. You’re constantly told you’re not good enough, that nobody will ever want you for you, that you’ll only ever be a weapon; you’re worth nothing more than that, nothing less. The more skill you have, the more value you hold; if you do a job well you’ll be worth something, if you fail you’ll probably get beat or tossed out, considered less than dirt by your own shitty father. You’re not a boy, not really. You’re a gun, and the minute you miss a shot you’re worthless. You learn that no, you can’t be a kid—being a kid is not for you. You don’t have time for stupid birthday parties or immature little kid games when you’re too busy fighting in war zones or getting shot at in Cambodia. You teach yourself not to feel; remorse and regret are pointless when you’re a hitman, and so is love—you never have childhood crushes or fancy any of the pretty girls at your school. You think it’s stupid. You’ve never been interested in girls anyway, and your father once threatened to shoot you if you ever tried the alternative, so you lock your heart away, stuff it into a box and cram it into a safe and set fifty different code-combination locks and wrap chains around it so that you can’t feel.

And then one day, some skinny rich kid with sticky fingers shows up, and just won’t leave you alone. Okay, you think to yourself. No biggie. He’s just some spoiled brat with too much time on his hands who doesn’t know what he’s getting into. But then this kid starts treating you like you’re worth something, like you’re some sort of treasure he values, something he wants to chase; and not for your quick draw, either. This monkey-faced little brat seems to only want to know more about you, and play stupid kid games with you. He’s annoying, but the trouble he gets into is fun enough, even if you always end up having to bail him out. You find out that this kid is a thrill-seeker, and much to your surprise, he considers you thrilling. You’ve never had friends before, but this feels like something else. The way he looks at you makes your stomach fuzzy with a feeling you’re not entirely sure what to think of, and no matter how many times you walk away you always find yourself drawn to him. You’re reminded of what your father threatened to do at that, so you tuck that feeling away with all the others.

But then, this bastard “friend” of yours does something you never expected; he chips away at the walls you’ve built, carefully picks the locks holding chains around your heart with nimble, practiced fingers. He pries at that safe of yours like it’s fun, like it’s some sort of challenge for him (he likes challenges, you’ve come to find) and finds out those combinations of yours with thieving expertise. And then, as if none of your past matters, as if all those thousands of walls of defence you built and security lasers you set and safety precautions you took are absolutely nothing to him, he reaches forward and places a skinny hand over your chest and takes what he wants, like he’s always done. He holds you in the palm of his hand like you’re something precious, a valued piece of artwork in a renowned museum that he’s taken the liberty of nabbing, and you let him. You let him steal you like some pretty piece of jewelry. You let him pull you from the shitty life you live with that shitty dad of yours and steal you away, even though you’re scared out of your mind of intimacy. You’re alone in the dark of that cramped little safe that you’ve locked yourself away in your entire life, and he picks the lock with a bobby pin and reaches for you and grabs your hand; and then suddenly, you’re not so alone anymore. Suddenly you’re more than a gun, you’re Jigen Daisuke, and Lupin the Third wants you like he would a priceless ruby on display in the hall of a rich man’s mansion.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION, PEOPLE??!? DO YOU SEE IT!!?!1!?

[yallthemwitches]

Some thoughts on Lily Evans (Headcanons and other musings)

Headcanon things

---I think she really struggled internally about "not belonging" in both the muggle and wizard community. I couldn't imagine finding out I was part of some special group that made my family members ostracize me, THEN joining said new community to find that I am actually discriminated against and considered lesser. I don't think she was on the nerd level of say Hermione, but I think she really wanted to prove herself.

--I don't think she wore a bra. I use this in my fics a lot not just because it could be taken sexy, but because it would've been trendy at the time in the 70s. I think Lily would have kept up with the politics of the muggles and the wizarding world, and I would imagine she would be keen to follow the feminist movement.

--I'm really not of fan of the swarmy, bookish version of Lily that purveyed often in fics (I see more diversity now but back 10 years ago Lily was like some studious angel all the time.) We know she was smart and teachers loved her, but we also see a lot of anger and cheekiness from her too. I think James wouldn’t have been half as attracted to her if she was just a know it all. I imagine she was really sarcastic and quippy.

--I think Lily thought about fancying Remus in earlier years---to the point that in 4th year she turned on him quickly one day during prefects rounds and kissed him, immediately realized she felt nothing, and then they both agreed to stay friends and never speak of it (James would have died if he knew). After then, Lily had the habit of giving him a kiss on the cheek as greeting/goodbye (think of it as the french bisous, not like a real cheek kiss) and Sirius would always joke about "Where his kiss was"---which prompted Lily to draw real close to him ( making James feel jealous and uncomfortable) before yelling at him to fuck off.

--When Sirius and Lily became friends, they really became friends. They both confided in each other about being the family outsiders, they spent lots of study time listening to music, and she was always able to keep up with his sarcastic and self deprecating style of humor. Whenever Sirius would conjure rock music to play in the corridors, Lily always was the last of the prefects to put a stop to it. She would often spend time in the boys dorms even if James wasn't there to shoot the shit with Sirius and she often was his insider into all the cool muggle things he missed out on.

---Petunia peddled the idea that Lily was a "Hippie type" to Vernon and her friends upon being questioned and Lily really leaned into this gladly. She was very amused by the muggle occult craze in the 60s-70s and found a lot of enjoyment visiting muggle "esoteric shops" and getting books from them. This trait would later be adopted by the marauders who would take some of her muggle “occult magic” books and try to reproduce the (ridiculously fake) spells (often leading in explosions or very bad consequences seeing as the muggle “spells” were all a hoax and couldn’t stand up to real magical attempts). When she was home from the summer it was not uncommon for her to be reading a book by Aleister Crowley on the front stoop.

---Lily hated flying despite James' many tries to get her to enjoy it (he mostly liked that she was scared and held onto him more). Contrary to this, she loved Sirius motorbike. It felt more natural to her despite still being a flying object ( and despite both James and Sirius flying it in the most haphazard way possible.)

--One thing that drew Lily to James was his interest and love for muggle pop culture. I imagine Lily tried often to get Snape to listen to Joni Mitchell or have a laugh at how muggles depicted wizards/witches in film, but Snape didn't see the worth in doing those things---wanting to focus on the wizarding world. James on the other hand ate all of it up--he would jump at the chance to watch Carrie or The Wicker Man. Even before dating James, I think Snape's disdain for all things muggle was off putting to Lily, who saw just as much to learn from muggles as she did from the wizarding world.

Reference things

---I base a lot of my fic Petunia/Lily relationships off of the British show Fleabag. I HIGHLY recommend it and I think its a great example of two sisters who are completely at odds with each other. I think Lily and Petunia's relationship would be much more complicated obviously due to their reasoning for falling out, but I think in general its a great depiction of two sisters who don't get along. I admittedly have cradled their dialogue patterns for scenes. ( Its on Amazon prime really really really go watch it its amazing)

---One of my big references for Lily ( and James for that matter) is Paul Thomas Anderson's Licorice Pizza. I think the love story of the two main characters who are at odds against the world really works and its the typical Jily "one is madly in love with the other and does schemes to win her over while she's sarcastic and wary and grows to love him despite it all." Its also the 70s which helps a lot ( for me). I think also Alana Haim's character is a perfect lily as she's someone who is a bit lost despite having everything going for her on paper. I highly reccomend it if you haven't seen it.

Trailer link here:

[homiesondaweb]

Yes Miles is a good kid, a sweet boy and one of the block, a lil sheltered and anxious even, he is optimistically naive about the intentions of others, and extremely friendly.

BUT👏🏾 YALL👏🏾 FORGET👏🏾 HE👏🏾 IS👏🏾 MISCHIEVOUS 👏🏾

Before getting bit by a spider he was half-parkouring around Brooklyn throwing up graffiti and stickers to the point he's daddy said he will NOT save him from getting arrested for it.

He cusses under his breath constantly.

He refused to tie his shoelaces as a fashion & personal statement.

He has a smart ass mouth and will not hesitate to white lie or babble his way out of a situation.

The personification of the Black Granny phrase "A hard head makes a soft ass"

Aaron most likely taught him how to scrap fight( y'all saw them nasty ass elbows he was throwing, them blows was NOT Spiderman's).

The minute he had an inkling of the ability to, he was tossing himself off a building

This boy sneaks out the house as easy as he breaths (the boy had Brown/Black parents who are strict and work long hours with a HEAVY snitch neighbor net, he is on the X GAMES MODE level of sneaking out)

He has a strong sense of justice that counters the behaviors and attitudes his parents want him to have

His parents automatically disapprove of any friends Miles makes because they assume they are going to pull miles into their emo/punk trouble YET don't question why their son is seeking those kind of friends out

Only one cop likes him AND ITS HIS DAD

I know there is a stigma of Black boys being thuggish trouble makers, who are up to no good by just breathing but Black kids deserve the mischief, the unruly-ness, the loudness, the attitude that white kids are allowed to do partake in AND MILES FITS THE CRITERIA

HE IS AN UNRULY TEENAGE🗣️

AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE🗣️

A COCKY BIG-HEADED LILBOY🗣️

LET HIM BE A MENACE TO SOCIETY GOTDAMNIT🗣️📣📣📣

[fazedlight]

Supergirl the show poses a question: Who is the real Kara?

Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers, Supergirl. Who's the mask?

In the beginning, Kara doesn't even know. In the aftermath of Krypton's and Kenny's deaths, she did everything she could to appear as normal as possible - there was little room for her own innate traits to shine through when she was being as nondescript and people-pleasing as possible.

But that's not who Kara is.

We get the first glimpse of who Kara really is during Flight 237.

This is not about her being Supergirl or her powers (though both are relevant). Kara has suppressed herself for over a decade. She's not going to make waves - until she has to. Our first real insight into who Kara is now is as a devoted sister. It wasn't until Alex's life was at risk that Kara started breaking out of her shell (and then there was no holding back).

Our protagonist is a mid-20s adult - this isn't a coming-of-age story in the traditional sense. But it is a story of finding oneself and what it takes to get there.

And it starts with defending found family after a lifetime of loss.

So Kara creates the Supergirl persona. I think the cape is a crutch.

People say "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. But crutches are actually pretty fucking useful. They support you when you need it, whether it be short-term or long-term. They help you get around when you otherwise may not be able to.

Kara was deeply traumatized by losing everyone and everything she ever knew, being thrown into a world that overwhelmed her senses and made even her most casual movements into dangerous ones, and was told she needed to suppress everything - who she used to be, what she was going through now - to survive.

To find herself again, maybe she'd need a tool to get past what she had been through! The cape became that tool. She was able to unbury the heritage she had been hiding, she was able to embrace the powers that had burdened her, she was able to find her own bravery (and reactivity, she's got flaws in there too).

Keep in mind, in the scene above, Kara isn't "human for a day". Kara is powerless... just like she spent the first 13 years of her life. Her bravery isn't about her powers or Supergirl; they just help her get started.

That's not where her growth ends.

Kara's instincts for helping people start getting unburied in season 1, and she is excited to tag along someone else's quest to figure out where future threats may lie, or figure out how she can use her powers in service to the DEO.

But it's not until this moment that she realizes that Kara Danvers can be more, too. Lena unintentionally launches Kara's career - a second pathway for Kara's desire to help people, growing into a passion she is going to pursue (even if she gets fired). Her worth is no longer just about her sun-granted powers or being Superman's "younger" cousin.

In season 4, we even see her realization that Kara Danvers can be more powerful than Supergirl, because some fights can't be won by fists. That's a real discovery for herself.

Which I think, looking back, might becoming especially baffling for her... because Kara Danvers was originally an identity imposed on her when she needed to hide.

It's important to note that, while Kara Danvers was originally a facade that Kara gets at thirteen, she doesn't stay a facade - even in the suppression era.

We don't see enough of who Kara is when she's on Earth, left to her own devices. But we see glimpses - we know she likes baking (and we know we shouldn't try what she makes), we know she paints, we know she listens to NSync and Britney Spears. She's a goofball (even when she puts on the cape). Kara Danvers starts as a facade, but becomes a vehicle for Kara to continue developing her personality, now in her new context.

Would she have the same interests on Krypton? Maybe some and not others, maybe some new ones that don't exist on Earth. We're all products of our environments, after all. Her interests as Kara Danvers aren't necessarily fake just because they're different than what she expected.

Though she'll never know who she would've become on Krypton.

Which brings us to Kara Zor-El - the identity that is frozen.

Most people aren't the same person as an adult that they were as a child. Interests, tastes, personality, world outlook, philosophy - all of these shift over time, sometimes dramatically.

Parts of her are going to be deeply rooted in Krypton, and she's going to have ties to a culture that no one else on Earth has. It's not an aspect of herself that she can erase. But it's also not an aspect of herself that was able to develop for the remainder of her childhood and early adulthood.

She, like all of us, was destined to lose pieces of herself. But some of her loss was very sudden, and the pieces she lost probably weren't going to be the same on Krypton. Of course, she has no way to know.

And I think that frustrates her.

I guess my answer to "Who is Kara?" is that the three personalities clash with and harmonize with each other. None of them are truly her. All of them inform who she is.

There's a young Kara Zor-El as her root that was torn from the ground before she could ever grow.

There's a Kara Danvers who formed the bulk of her life - a mask that was given to her, the only vehicle for her personality, who ultimately became someone she could embrace as worthwhile in her own right.

There's a Supergirl who distinctly separates from those around her, but lets her move past her numbness and reclaim her heritage.

And it's that clash that makes her a particularly compelling character.

Maybe that's a cheating answer to the original question.

But there's still a missing piece to the puzzle - because it's not just about Who is Kara? but also about Who does Kara want to be?

I think Supergirl is something that could fade if needed. If Kara lost her powers, she would find a new normal, so long as she was able to pursue her desire to help the world in some capacity.

But the truth of her is somewhere between Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. The truth of her is in what Supergirl allowed her to unbury, even if not directly tied to Supergirl herself. But Danvers and Zor-El are burdens, in a way. Lena is one of the few people who sees the person in between, who understands Kara on her own terms. Which is why Kara is terrified of Lena's rejection.

I think it's one of the most telling lines in the show - to be just Kara is to be free of her own baggage, to be able to embrace herself despite the pain in her history. Something I think we all want, that is never entirely possible.

But the pursuit is still a worthwhile one.

[doodlesdreaming]

“A man after my own heart.”