#i am no longer sane after this post

[cynthiav06]

Respectfully, did Percy Jackson even have any character development throughout the original series?

He doesn't have any flaws. He chose to take the prophecy from Nico, but he was always going to be the prophecy child.

He's good at the start and good at the end with no development unless you count being traumatised and depressed from a war as development, which it's not.

Not trying to be rude, sorry if I seem rude.

Worry not. It's a perfectly reasonable question and should usually be applied to most character studies. Also, buckle up. This is going to be long. Very long. It took me a while to get the time to post this and even more time to actually get my thoughts together. Like a lot of time. (To anyone who doesn't want to read the horrid mess of a post this is there's a partition at the end, after which all the most important points are summarized. ) Just skip to that, but hopefully, someone reads this whole thing because it took me eons to write.

I can see why you think that way, and it is contributed more so by Rick's absolute incapability of not recycling the dead horse that is the original pjo dynamics. He has inhibited character growth from almost every single character where all their epiphanies and character change in the end amounts to nothing, and they regress back to how they used to be, and any and all deviations their personality had are either dismissed or suppressed.

Percy is the victim of the latter. In the first book, he was a child, not particularly concerned with saving the world or being a halfblood. His life had been worse enough, and the halfblood situation had made it abysmal. Percy was living goal by goal. He wanted to get through the field trip, then through the semester, then through the Gabe interactions all so he could finally see his Mom, the one good thing about his life. Then that upends completely, and his only reprieve, the trip to Montauk, his safe place becomes the start of a series of grand tragedies in his life.

Sure, he stayed at the Camp, not willingly but for safety. He had nowhere to go, his life had been turned upside down, his mother was dead, and he wanted to go home, to have his mother back. He couldn't have cared less about the Gods and the world ending, but as soon as Chiron mentions Underworld, Percy is back on solid ground. He has a goal again. Get Sally back. He does everything to reach that goal. He fights monsters, prays to a godly father he refused to acknowledge beforehand, manipulate the press and the Gabe situation, bargain with immortal deities and such, and negotiate his way out of most of those bargains. All the while keeping in mind that he has a traitor to deal with, but Percy is the definition of "deal with one thing at a time. If it's not an immediate concern, it can wait." He does all that and is rewarded for it by being able to live, getting his mother back, and a taste of the life he has doomed himself to, and he almost seems to accept it. He even wonders if Camp Half Blood could be his home.

We see Percy do this throughout all the books. He is constantly changing his intentions, his goals, and his opinions on everything. He is also caught in his internal conflict of being with or against the Gods. The thing is, Percy has very little time for reflection as he is jumping from one existential threat to another, and yet he still manages to grow in the small ways. You need to see it individually book wise rather than over the whole series as Rick messes up terribly with character arcs and developments of literally every other character.

He begins by not caring about Poseidon's existence or his proximity, but in the end, he, too, is beholden to the intrinsic need of having a father. He, too, wants Poseidon to care for him like a father and is therefore hurt by being called a mistake. He knows Poseidon claimed him as a weapon against Zeus so he could rectify someone else's mistakes and restore Poseidon's reputation; who if not Percy would understand this manipulation the best? But the best lies are the ones you want to believe in, and so Percy keeps his silence because, of course, he wants to believe his father genuinely cares for him and loves him. Who doesn't?

He didn't want to be the hero, but by the end of the first book, when he is called one, he doesn't dislike the feeling. He accepts if only a little that this is to be his life now, and as the series progresses, he adds to the pros and cons.

In the Sea of Monsters he is very happy that Gabe is gone and it's just him and his mother again but by the end of it he has gained a new family member in Tyson and is very happy of the fact. He even manages to get over his initial hostility of Clarisse somewhat when he understands her situation.

Titan's Curse is all about Percy learning about the number of forces at play in the world of demigods. He tries to get along with the Hunters and Thalia; it doesn't work. He ends up almost losing Annabeth, someone who he considers a close friend by now. And so we see Percy spiral a little, show more of his anger issues as he interacts with Thalia or even Young Nico just after Annabeth falls from the cliff. Angry and impatient, he goes on his own quest.

I know most readers remember it as Percy, Annabeth, and Grover or the main cast always working together, but it's almost never like that. Somewhere along the way, Percy always ends up doing his own thing, which works because he best works on improvisations. It's Percy's plans that always end up working the most more so than Annabeth's. Just putting it out there.

Then it's just Percy having the worst month of his life. Annabeth is in mortal danger. No one seems to be hearing his opinions between Thalia and the Hunters. Then Bianca dies and Percy because he is Percy is completely and utterly guilty over it.

Note that Percy says he will do his best to keep Biancs safe and not outright promise to keep Bianca safe. But his non-existent self-esteem and other factors withstanding he blamed himself for it completely. Then Zoe dies, and Percy has lost yet another person he thought he needed to keep safe.

Percy is angry at the gods, but he is not surprised by their actions. But he is Percy, and he is determined to change the ways of Olympus, so he pressures the Council and his father to keep the Ophiptaurus, the very creature that threatens to topple their rule. It's his small was of rebelling, and Percy is always rebelling against the gods in his own way, almost never playing into their hands because as much as he despises Luke, he agrees with Luke too and unless he finds a better way to deal with the situation than what Luke is employing he too would have to one day follow in Luke's footsteps.

Now Percy, who trusts Chiron, even thinks of him as a secondary father figure realizes that Chiron for all his compassion for mortals and demigods will always in the end do the bidding of the Gods'. So he makes the snap decision to hide Nico's parentage from Chiron and from everyone else because Percy realizes no matter how much he loves or cares for certain people in his life, they are beholden to answer to a higher power he cannot gainsay, so he will have to take some secrets to the grave. He learns that in the end, some things he needs to shoulder himself.

And of course, the guilt of Bianca's death is no lesser, so he does the only thing he thinks can give him some relief from it. He takes the prophecy for himself, saving Nico and hoping it's enough to alleviate himself of this bile inducing sensation in his gut called guilt that is swallowing him whole.

Now, the Battle of Labyrinth is the most crucial. This is the book with maximum stress on Percy from all ends. From Sally dating Paul and Percy having to prove he is worth Paul's confidence in him in Goode, from Annabeth who is quite literally snippy and passive aggressive through the whole book either due to Rachel or due to her own prophecy even though Rachel and Percy are the two people who got them all out. Then there's the Nico situation. He knows Nico is spiraling, which is making Percy spiral and further strengthening his own guilt. And on top of all this, the Luke situation. Percy is literally caught between an enclosed space, with all four sides closing in on him rapidly while he is fending off mortal danger.

All this repressed tension is fully let loose when he explodes Mt. Helen's. And this is the tipping point. Percy wants to take the choice of Calypso's Island if only briefly and not because he loves her or anything of the sort but because it's his one escape. From everything from his own doomed prophecy. Yet again, Percy is trapped by his own fatal flaw. Personal Loyalty. So he chooses to carry out his responsibility because he has given himself no other choice.

If that wasn't enough of self-realization, he is faced with the horrifying realization of the devastation his power has wrought. His loss of control has single handedly released the greatest threat to Olympus. Hephaestus tells Percy he doesn't know the limits of his own, and by the gods, does that terrify Percy. Up until now, Percy knew his powers were dangerous, but now he knows that he is also dangerous; that he is the real danger. And it's not a reality he wants to ever confront, so he coils his power and holds it tight in a leash. (It's why Percy's burts of power always begin with an unraveling sensation in his gut or something breaking inside himself)

He is somewhat soothed by Poseidon's reassurance because not only does Poseidon not blame him, he also solidifies Percy's faith that he is doing the right thing. And if Poseidon sprinkles in the fact that Percy is the favorite child then who is he to deny himself the comfort of such sweet lies because, of course, Percy thinks it's a lie and of course Percy basks in it. He knows better than to trust gods, he knows better than to trust even his own allies because at the times like this, they will do and say anything to appease him, after all the fate of Olympus depends on him, does it not? And neither the Gods nor the demigods will risk a falling out with him at times like this.

He asks his father if he can help but is denied because he is needed here. Then he does his job as told, and Charlie dies. It's on him. He is struck with twice as much guilt. Over Beckendorf, and then over the state of Atlantis. He asks again if he can help his father and is denied again yet scorned by his father's family, for he can't even help them with the mess he started (or so he believes).

This is why Percy goes with Nico's plan of using the Styx. Because he assumes Nico of all people who already hated him has no reason to curry for his favor. But he makes a mistake. After all, Nico needs his father's favor, and Hades needs Percy gone. Percy can't really blame the kid, but he does anyway because why not? He is angry, he is furious, and everything is slipping from his fingers. He is going to die. Everyone is going to die, and it's all on him. It's all his fault, AGAIN. So he rages at Nico because for at least one single moment, he wishes this were someone else's burden, especially Nico's, but Percy's taken it for himself, and it's too late to back out now.

So he fights and manipulates and negotiates. Titans, River gods, his own demigods. Because don't forget Percy knows there's a mole and that's also his problem. Everything is his problem. All that work and so many dead. Silena, Michael, Ethan, and many more on both sides, and he is trying everything he can to make it better to fix things because, again, he thinks it's his fault. Imagine doing all that, and Rachel tells him he is not the hero, and Percy bristles because no, he doesn't want to be a hero, but of course, it offends him. Because, if he's not the hero, then it's not his burden, and then what the hell is he doing all this for if, in the end, he is not the hero that can save Olympus? Does that mean he read the prophecy wrong, and now he is going to get everyone killed because he wrongly assumed he isn't the hero. He is angry and impulsive, and he snaps at even Hermes. Because now HE is spiraling.

And somehow, it's all over with Luke killing himself, and it dawns on Percy, the truth. So despite all the hate because why wouldn't there be hate, Luke has singlehandedly tried to kill Percy more than Percy can count, and he calls Luke the Hero. Makes the choice because he believes in Annabeth's faith and Hermes's faith in Luke. It pays off and that's all that matters.

Finally finally it is all over. the Gods owe him, and finally, he has an answer on the path he wants to take to change the gods. He denies immortality because he is Percy Jackson, he is Sally Jackson's son and he knows better than to let others dictate the flow of his life, because he has better plans than wasting away inside for eternity, dancing on someone else's tune. He fights for the demigods, the non-Olympian gods and their children who Olympus has failed to do justice to, for Nico, and in some way for himself.

Then it's not over at all because Rachel has taken Blackjack and Percy knows the truth of the Oracle and he loves Rachel far too much to let her even try. But it works and she is okay; he can't be with her but she is alive and she is okay and Percy is extremely grateful for that.

But then there's a new prophecy, and even though he tries to find some peace with Annabeth, he knows it's not over. It's never over for him. But he can forget about it until he can no longer afford to ignore it.

___________________________________________

Of course, Percy repressed his trauma. The last time he let it out, he released the literal bane of the gods out. Do you think Percy could live with something like that happening again? What choice does he have? There's no one who can understand him. NO ONE. Not even Annabeth.

You can see him accept his role as a leader and grow more into it. In son of Sobek or even in Son of Neptune. He is more serious and more authoritative because he has so many people depending on him, so many expectations hanging on him. We can also see Percy's anger issues get out of hand. He is spiraling, the readers know he is spiraling, and Percy knows, but he can't do ANYTHING. HE IS LITETALLY DYING OR BEING ATTACKED, HE CAN'T, HE JUST CAN'T.

BUT WE KNOW IT'S THERE BECAUSE WE CAN SEE HOW MUCH PERCY HAS GROWN INTO SUICIDAL TENDENCIES. AND HE CAN'T ACT ON THEM MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE DEPENDENT ON HIM AND HIS FATAL FLAW WON'T ALLOW HIM TO PUT HIMSELF OUT OF HIS MISERY.

BUT WHEN HE HAS DONE EVERYTHING HE POSSIBLY COULD, AFTER HOUSE OF HADES, HE LETS POLYBOTES'S POISON CHOKE HIM, ALMOST KILLING HIM IF JASON HADN'T INTERVENED. THANK GOD FOR JASON GRACE.

Percy was this sassy, heavily independent, "I do my own thing" kid and now he is someone with more responsibilities than anyone with most of his free will stripped and most of his hopes ruined or deemed impossible. IT'S TRAGIC AND IT'S EXCRUCIATING AND HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S MAKING OTHERS HAPPY. IT'S SUCH A HORRIBLE SITUATION. IMAGINE BOOK 1 PERCY? HE WOULD HAVE LET IT BLOW UP IN EVERYONE ELSE'S FACE BEFORE HE EVER LET HIMSELF BE SO BROKEN.

I have seen so many people say how Percy is the standard hero who is always good and never makes bad choices, and I wonder which books they read. Percy always makes the supposed "right" choices at the cost of himself. His fatal flaw enabling his moral compass and the sheer guilt of the lives lost. He can't escape. He hates the gods, he hates the quests but he loves his family and friends so dearly, there's nothing he wouldn't do for them which means Percy is suffocating, drowning, choking in his own misery, his repressed trauma,his self loathing and being crushed to death by the weight of lives, responsibilities and expectations only he can hope to fulfil.

And one day Percy won't be able to take it. His lapses of control will increase in magnitudes so great, his inner rage will level the world. Destroyer, like Athena predicted, Destroyer like Kronos wanted and Destroyer like his name means.

Not every hero needs a villain arc. Percy is inspiring because after all this shit and all these horrors. He is still good, but WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE TOLL OF IT. PERCY IS STILL GOOD BUT AT WHAT COST? LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO HIM.

Rick has such a great potential for an arc like that but he is going to fuck it up, I know he is but I hope readers realize where it's all leading to and how much Percy has changed and how much he has sacrificed. Also, @hermesmyplatonicbeloved , @ogjacksonsimp , @cynicalclairvoyantcadaver , @helenofsparta2, @fourcornersofcreation thoughts? Did I stray too far from the canon, or am I getting it right at least a little? Because this post took days, I have no idea what it has devolved into.

[maaarine]

Men Just Don't Trust Women -- And It's A Huge Problem (Damon Young, Huffington Post, Mar 16 2015)

"Generally speaking, we (men) do not believe things when they're told to us by women.

Well, women other than our mothers or teachers or any other woman who happens to be an established authority figure.

Do we think women are pathological liars? No.

But, does it generally take longer for us to believe something if a woman tells it to us than it would if a man told us the exact same thing? Definitely!

This conversation is how, after five months of marriage, eight months of being engaged, and another year of whatever the hell we were doing before we got engaged, I realized I don't trust my wife.

When the concept of trust is brought up, it's usually framed in the context of actions; of what we think a person is capable of doing.

If you trust someone, it means you trust them not to cheat. Or steal. Or lie. Or smother you in your sleep.

By this measure, I definitely trust my wife. I trust the shit out of her.

I also trust her opinions about important things. I trusted that she'd make a great wife, and a trust that she'll be a great mother. And I trust that her manicotti won't kill me.

But you know what I don't really trust? What I've never actually trusted with any women I've been with? Her feelings.

If she approaches me pissed about something, my first reaction is "What's wrong?"

My typical second reaction? Before she even gets the opportunity to tell me what's wrong? "She's probably overreacting."

My typical third reaction? After she expresses what's wrong? "Ok. I hear what you're saying, and I'll help. But whatever you're upset about probably really isn't that serious."

I'm both smart and sane, so I don't actually say any of this aloud. But I am often thinking it.

Until she convinces me otherwise, I assume that her emotional reaction to a situation is disproportionate to my opinion of what level of emotional reaction the situation calls for.

Basically, if she's on eight, I assume the situation is really a six.

I'm speaking of my own relationship, but I know I'm not alone. (…)

There's an obvious parallel here with the way (many) men typically regard women's feelings and the way (many) Whites typically regard the feelings of non-Whites.

It seems like every other day I'm reading about a new poll or study showing that (many) Whites don't believe anything Black people say about anything race/racism-related until they see it with their own eyes.

Personal accounts and expressions of feelings are rationalized away; only "facts" that have been carefully vetted and verified by other Whites and certain "acceptable" Blacks are to be believed.

So how do we remedy this? And can it even be remedied? I don't know.

This distrust of women's feelings is so ingrained, so commonplace that I'm not even sure we (men) realize it exists."

[tossawary]

The longer I sit on and look back at it, the more I unfortunately dislike "Star Trek: Discovery", especially the episode featuring the Kelpian homeworld. It's been bugging me. Sure, I'm maybe too soft on older ST shows comparatively, which are Trying, but also usually Should Have Known Better even back then; but ST:D happened at a point where the writers DEFINITELY Should Have Known Better, so I'm petty. Like, you have decades of people criticizing "Star Trek" for various reasons, so act like it.

So, spoilers for the Kelpian homeworld episode, because I am going to explain and then complain about it as best that I can remember it. Warning for discussion of character death, suicide, genocide, and non-consensual medical procedures. Long post.

One of the characters on the "Discovery" ship is a Kelpian named Saru, a refugee who escaped an oppressive homeworld and was permitted to join Starfleet. This homeworld is somewhat unique in that it has two sapient species: a prey species, the Kelpians, and a technologically advanced predator species that subjugates them in the name of a "necessary" balance. (I do not recall the name of the second species.)

At some later point in their life, all Kelpians experience something that I'll call Death Puberty. (It has a canonical name, I just don't remember it and this gets the point across to anyone without context.) Saru is not Human, but he is at a stage in his life that is equivalent to Human adulthood. When we first meet him, Saru has yet to undergo Death Puberty, which he believes will cause him to lose his mind and become a danger to everyone around him.

In his society, Death Puberty is when all Kelpians are required to present themselves to the ruling predator species so that they can be killed. It's the Great Balance.

Before we go to the Kelpian homeworld, there's an episode in which the ship encounters a sapient star. The star being emits some sort of signal that causes Saru to enter a premature / induced / unnatural Death Puberty. Saru is so completely convinced that he will go insane after this process that he tries to kill himself for everyone's safety. He persuades another character to kill him; and it's only the process abruptly being completed, apparently without ill effects, at the last possible minute that prevents Saru and his friend from going through with this.

Saru almost immediately concludes that his homeworld's narrative surrounded Death Puberty and the Great Balance is a lie. On one hand, this assumption makes sense, Saru is the one who actually had to experience this lie and surviving Death Puberty sane may have felt like everything clicking into place. Death Puberty also had the side effect of making Saru stronger, more assertive, and less afraid. I don't think it's unreasonable for Saru to feel angry and suspicious, nor was it necessarily unreasonable for him to emotionally jump to conclusions here.

On the other hand, I thought this was a little annoying (this is a really petty nitpick, I know), because Saru is supposedly a scientist. His Death Puberty, which neither he nor Starfleet have had the opportunity to study before, was unnaturally induced prematurely through an encounter with a sapient star, so his experience is presumably unique among his species. "What if my society is built on a horrible lie?" is a good question. I just wish that another character had brought up the uniqueness of the situation to Saru as a consideration, given that the future of a species may be on the line going forward.

So, in a later episode, the ship goes to the Kelpian homeworld to investigate.

Saru does quickly confirm that his society is built on a horrible lie. It turns out that the Kelpians were actually the predator species all along? Death Puberty does not cause insanity and is actually the process by which Kelpians enter their final, deadly form. The other species, which is actually a prey species of the Kelpian predator species, somehow became technologically advanced and created this "Kelpians are the prey species and must adhere to the Great Balance" oppressive setup. Final form Kelpians scare the shit out of them.

(The supposed logistics of evolution here are more than a little silly, but whatever. It's ST. Let's go with it.)

Plot happens and Saru and other characters end up in danger. The other species is more than willing to kill Saru to bury the truth and preserve their deadly lie.

I can't remember the exact order of events here, but somehow, the crew of the "Discovery" decide that the only way to save Saru's life and to forcibly push the truth through is to induce Death Puberty for the entire planet of Kelpians. Which they can somehow feasibly do using the signal they recorded from the star.

Supposedly, this planetwide forced Death Puberty for the Kelpians will scare the other species into backing down or some shit. After all, the other species can't just suddenly cull the entire planet, right?

This is one of those cases where I want to sit ST writers down and ask them: "Hi, what do you think that the in-universe Prime Directive actually means and why it might exist?" I don't know about you, but I think that the Federation probably has rules and regulations against subjecting an entire planet to a medical procedure that they did not consent to? I think that if you violate the bodily autonomy of a single person in that way, Starfleet should haul that captain up in front of a panel and say, "What the fuck??? What the fuck is wrong with you???"

Their solution is to VIOLATE THE BODILY AUTONOMY OF AN ENTIRE PLANET using an UNTESTED MEDICAL PROCEDURE that NOT A SINGLE MEMBER OF THAT SPECIES CONSENTS TO. (Not that a single Kelpian can consent to this on behalf of the entire fucking planet, but you get my point, right?) Ethical fucking nightmare.

This is also one of those situations where I have to put my head into my hands, because FUCK, the science fiction genre is never beating those "you guys sure love a White Savior (derogatory)" (and ST is never beating the "the Federation is just USAmerica in space (derogatory)") allegations at this rate. The "more advanced" and "more enlightened" Federation swooping in and getting to make decisions on behalf of these "less advanced" and "brainwashed" new worlds is essentially what "Deep Space Nine" was criticizing back in the 90s.

This random fucking crew is deciding what happens to these people's BODIES!!! I don't even think there's a doctor on the bridge when this is decided! Not that it would be okay if a doctor signed off on it! You CAN'T just subject people to a medical procedure they can't consent to! And with how often ST tries to say something about eugenics and sapient rights, this action SHOULD BE in-universe explicitly about a hundred different kinds of illegal.

Even if the entire planet of Kelpians sign off on that shit afterwards, it still wouldn't be okay. Everyone involved in making this decision and making it happen should be, at minimum, kicked out of Starfleet, on principle. Someone should be put on trial for this. You don't get to decide what to do with other people's bodies for them.

So, that's a problem. I don't think ST can meaningfully claim to be about seeking a better future if it's going to have a Starfleet ship violate the bodily autonomy of an entire planet without any consequences. But this action just flies casually by as though it's not one of the most hideous things that I've seen anyone do in a ST show.

But, you know, setting aside the violation of the bodily autonomy of an entire planet thing... Let's pretend for a second that this truly is the only option and that the captain of the ship is willing to accept the severe consequences for it... (And there's no opportunity for any other crewmembers to say, "Wait, this is wrong. You can't change people's bodies like this. I can't condone this. And, in fact, am morally obligated to stop you from doing this illegal thing.")

This is still an untested procedure. They don't even know if it will work when they do it. They're forcing a medical procedure on an entire planet and they don't even know whether or not it will work.

They're supposedly using a signal emitted by the sapient star, a remarkably unique being in many ways. There's no guarantee that this one ship will be able to perfectly replicate EVERYTHING that a sapient dying star did to induce Death Puberty in Saru, on a planetwide scale. Death Puberty has not been studied by Starfleet in more than a single individual, who had many unique experiences that his fellow Kelpians cannot have had, so it is not by any means well understood. If they fuck this up in any way, they could kill the entire planet.

Death Puberty is a natural process for Kelpians, occurring later in their lives. There is ZERO discussion of any potential health problems from inducing this change early in Kelpians. This could cause life-long, life-ruining health problems for even adult-equivalent Kelpians, and there is absolutely no mention of infants, of children, of juveniles. For all anyone on this ship knows, trying to induce Death Puberty in every single Kelpian on the planet could cause the agonizing death of every Kelpian child not ready for that process. They don't KNOW. They currently CAN'T know, because they haven't TESTED that.

But, okay, let's pretend that every single Kelpian survives induced Death Puberty with no health problems. The signal miraculously didn't affect child Kelpians at all. It was totally fine.

Remaining Problem: every single Kelpian has been raised to believe that Death Puberty will cause them to go insane and become dangerous.

Saru's initial reaction to going through Death Puberty was to kill himself. He persuaded his own friend to cut his throat before it could finish. His situation was one of unnatural inducement, but he didn't even have them lock him up in a cell to be sure of its ending first; he was CERTAIN.

Upon returning home, before everything goes to shit, Saru learns that his father naturally underwent Death Puberty while he was gone. As is tradition, before the process was complete, Saru's father surrendered himself to the other species and was killed. Kelpians are raised to believe their early deaths are necessary.

I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that the majority of the Kelpian population would panic during planetwide Death Puberty. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that a significant fraction of the Kelpian population, none of whom know what the fuck is happening, might try to commit suicide or murder-suicide. Even when the process completes quickly and they still feel sane, they might think, "Well, it probably takes a few minutes for murderous insanity to kick in. I had better kill myself while I still have a clear head, as per our planet's accepted spiritual tradition and for the safety of my loved ones."

Parent Kelpians trying to protect their children? Lovers trying to die in each other's arms? Some Kelpians reasoning to themselves: "Well, I'm still sane. But it's my civic duty to off anyone who seems like they're going insane." And the entire planet has just gone through what they understand to be The End Of The World, so everyone is probably panicking and probably seems more than a little insane right now.

Do I think the majority of the planet would turn murderous or suicidal? No. We don't really know enough about the planet to choose hard numbers. But the Kelpians have nevertheless all been raised to believe they need to be culled for the greater good, there was nothing like informed consent happening, and with Saru as our main and only example here, we can be pretty sure that the number of other Kelpians who panicked and died because of that panic is not zero. Personally, I think that the number would be sadly significant.

So, I think that Starfleet is directly responsible for some murders and suicides here. Even if there were no medical issues, which is a big fucking if that I do not believe, you are still up against generations of an oppressive death cult here. If you spring the apocalypse on these poor people, it will be bad. They did not consent to this. They're, according to the worldbuilding here, all going to think that they're dying!!!

And you know what? In this episode, the main characters force Death Puberty on an entire planet, in order to scare the other species into letting the Kelpians be free or something, and it doesn't work. The other species immediately activates the emergency "Explode The Planet" system they had installed, in order to kill all of the final form Kelpians. Inducing Death Puberty just made the other species panic.

So, the captain of the "Discovery" essentially has to threaten the fear-motivated other species into submission, or something. I don't remember how this episode ends exactly. I think that the captain more or less says that destroying the planet with make them the enemies of the Federation and that the Federation is a very scary enemy, scarier than the Kelpians, so it's better to stop this and be the Federation's ally instead. Or something like that.

The other species backs off on destroying the planet and the Kelpians are free, maybe. They all went through Death Puberty and learned they were living a horrible lie, so they have a lot to work out. No mention of health side effects or panicked suicides, but I don't believe that these consequences didn't happen out of an entire planet of potential bad reactions.

And no one on the "Discovery" suffers any serious consequences for forcing an untested medical procedure on an entire planet conditioned to view it as being worse than dying. I know that the other species wasn't really open to friendly dialogue and there was a time crunch of sorts, but I still think "blustering the enemy into backing down by threatening them" should have been attempted maybe a few more times, before the "violate the bodily autonomy of an entire planet with an untested medical procedure that will make them think they're going insane" option. I think maybe that's not okay to do to a single Kelpian, much less an entire planet of Kelpians, even if Saru's life was on the line, actually.

"The ends justify the means" is another thing that past "Star Trek" has repeatedly criticized. It's especially insulting to have the characters do this shit without any of them bringing up any of the potential risks in their stupid, condescending plan. I want to like these characters, but shallow writing like this makes me hate them. It makes all of Starfleet look like hypocrites. They're supposed to be scientists??? No one here has taken an ethics class, apparently.

They really just... forced an entire planet through Death Puberty, potentially killing or hurting any Kelpians who weren't ready for that, probably killing a significant number of Kelpians who didn't know what was happening and panicked, even though they didn't know whether or not it would work and could have killed everyone, and nearly got all the Kelpians killed anyway. This clusterfuck should be both against countless Starfleet regulations and EXTREMELY illegal under Federation law. But we can file this under a "whoopsie daisy!" because the professionals involved panicked and meant well?

Fuck off. Awful episode. They definitely killed a significant number of innocent people here, even if they didn't show those deaths because the writers apparently didn't think about the obvious medical and social risks, and what these characters did to the Kelpians wouldn't be okay even if everyone miraculously lived. Don't mess with other people's bodies???

[samubytheocean]

imagine hot summer days

It’s so hot, you imagine if it’s what it is like to be buried. You wonder if people will be able to smell the love of his gaze on you at this moment. You pray that they will.

Fluff, little something based on my previous post cuz I am a sucker for summer

Hot summers. The ac is broken with a week until the AS comes, so it’s a lazy afternoon on your bed, wearing the skimpiest tank and shorts, laying down flat with the fan on the highest setting. You’ve got a glass of ice linked between your arms, switching every now and then to keep both sides cool. It’s a pretty desperate attempt to stay sane in this burning weather, especially when you’ve got this furnace of a boy laying flat next to you.

He looks loopy as well, sweaty hair sticking to his slightly red face. You guys are sharing a pillow, the biggest form of intimacy you’ll allow at the moment, and his breath fans around the humid room across to your face, smelling like soap and wooden gym floor. It’s comforting. He’s comforting. The white sound of the fan and the occasional airplane noise is almost to lure you to sleep- maybe you’re passing out. You wouldn’t mind, you’re in the safest hands- until you feel hot fingertips feather on your stomach. You open your eyes and glance at the handsome boy, who’s still looking up at the ceiling with heavy eyelids, but pretty face barely holding back the smile. You softly snap the hand away.

“It’s hot.” You whisper.

“You’re hot.” He whispers back. You roll your eyes affectionately. You can’t tell if it’s the heat or he is actually blushing. Ever so charming. You hate that it works every time. You’re blushing.

“I really am. So please stay on your side of the bed.”

“Like this?” He leans over to you, the body clearly not touching, but you can feel the warmth radiate from him. Despite his cheeky teasing, you feel content. Your eyes soften. You feel held, and it’s something about summer that you love. You already felt like he was touching you- everywhere, so warm and hot and drowsy but oh so passionate. Yeah summer. Young, stupid love. But he’s yours, and he looks at you, your entire face.

His love is observing you. And torturing you with terrible lines, but his gaze dips you into something people will only call youth. And love. You memorize his scent. You know it will be held part of your own musk, for longer than you’ll live. You think about being buried under a willow tree. You pray that other lovers- in a hot summer day just like this- will catch the scent of this moment and pass it on. It’s the kind of moments you’ll write poetry about, and pray that people will read on your grave. You hope to live, to be recognized just as this moment, all down to the molecules. Not because he owns you- but you’ll be named after his love, for only he truly knows the symbols you speak.

“Yeah. Like that.”

“Sleepy?”

“A little.”

“I’ll wake you up when it gets a little cooler.”

You know he won’t. His big built body is getting warmer just like how it gets when he gets sleepy. You know he isn’t going to set that alarm. But you wouldn’t mind jerking up at 11 pm all in sweat and fake complaining to him for letting you two to miss an entire day. You wouldn’t mind his sleepy, firm and gentle hands pull you back into the bed. It’s just a day. It’s just a very hot summer day.

And honestly? You wouldn’t even mind missing a sweet little eternity if it’s with your boy.

OSAMU, AKAASHI, SUGAWARA, TSUKISHIMA, KUROO, KITA, IWAIZUMI

SUGURU, CHOSO

JEAN, EREN

[gillsng]

HERBOLOGY - harry james potter.

a/n: hi! this isn't the best of my writing, but i just wanted to keeps this acc alive so i posted this fic. i lowkey don't like this fic, but hey, hope u enjoy this though!

summary: hufflepuff! reader wakes up in dread, what she didn't know was something that lighted her life forever.

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

Y/N WAS SO SLEEPY, really. why would anyone not be in this cosy weather?

y/n would like to stay in bed and sleep all day, but susan being the most annoying person she is, woke y/n up.

when the two entered the great hall for breakfast, y/n couldn't help but fall asleep in susan's shoulder.

"get off me, idiot" susan scolded y/n, shoving her off. 

"but you're soooo comfortable, susan" y/n whined as she placed her head in susan's shoulder and started sleeping again. susan rolled her eyes, but let y/n sleep.

just as she was about to fall asleep, her second-most annoying friend, hannah decides to wake her up by stepping on her foot. 

this time, y/n was really up. "ouch! that hurts!"

"i don't care but, don't turn right away after i say this but, harry is looking at you," hannah whispered to y/n. 

y/n almost broke her neck while turning to face the gryffindor table just to see a certain raven-haired boy looking at her.

REALISING Y/N WAS LOOKING AT HIM, harry quickly turned to ron and hermione and pretended to be hearing whatever they were talking about.

"ron! when will you ever stop depending upon me and write your own history of magic essay?" hermione asked ron, quite aggressively.

"never ever, mione" he replied and went on to take the toast and shove it inside his mouth. hermione rolled her eyes.

"i am going to do it" harry said, suddenly. hermione and ron looked at him with questioning looks. "i am going to talk y/n l/n,"

"this is the thousandth time you told us this, harry" ron said immediately. harry rolled his eyes.

"thank you for those kind words, ron, but this time i am serious." harry added determinedly. 

"ronald you should stop discouraging harry, and i think this is a brave choice, but i think you would lose y/n as she's getting out of the great hall right now-" hermione started, before she could finish, harry was running towards y/n.

y/n was walking with hannah to the herbology class, even though hannah doesn't have herbology now. she just needed an excuse to see neville.

y/n stopped walking when she heard him calling her name.

y/n turned around to see harry potter walking, no, literally sprinting towards her. it was a rare sight. 

y/n tells to hannah to go ahead and waits for harry to catch his breath.

harry then, immediately says, "y/n, can we, uh, walktogethertoherbology" quite fastly and y/n couldn't catch him.

"i am sorry, harry, but would you repeat it couldn't catch it," y/n asked him.

harry turns a little red. clearing his throat, he starts, "can we walk together to uh, herbology?"

harry looks at her expectantly. how can she ever say no to him? 

"you don't have to, you know? it's just a request and it's completely fine if you don't-"

"no, no, i would love to walk with you, harry" y/n stops him, and a beautiful smile appears on harry's face.

harry insisted on taking her bag and as they started walking to the class. few jokes were shared as they walked, and honestly, it was the longest conversation the two ever had.

despite having to be in the same year and almost the same classes more than 5 years now, she and harry barely talked thanks to both of their lack of confidence when it comes to the other.

herbology would normally take longer minutes to reach, but while walking with harry, it only felt like seconds. 

the two, sadly had to be separate from each other when they reached the class.

but as soon as the class ended, harry rushed towards y/n and asked her out.

ofcourse, as a sane person would, y/n obviously said yes.

y/n was glad and thanked susan for waking her up early.

[putellasawfc]

figured out ! (social media au)

sam kerr x spanish!reader

summary: after a phenomenal performance in the 2023 world cup, reader moves to chelsea where she quickly strikes up a connection with a certain australian striker.

faceclaim : alexia putellas (2 posts) & nathalie björn (rest of the au).

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liked by aitanabonmati, marisabel_rguez and 148,279 others

youruser still can’t believe this is real life. no words right now. MUNDO CAMPEONAS !!!! 🥇🇪🇸🇪🇸

view all 379 comments

ynfan1 SO DESERVED !!!

ynfan2 BEST PLAYER AT THE WORLD CUP OMGGG

spainfan1 MUNDO CAMPEONASSSSSS 😭😭

jennihermoso 🧱🧱🧱

ynfan3 you were amazing the whole tournament! so proud of you 🤍

aitanabonmati noia estrella ⭐️

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liked by youruser, ynfan1 and 28,776 others

barclayswsl after her phenomenal performance at this years women’s world cup, it has been reported that multiple clubs have shown interest in spanish defender yn yln, including: arsenal, vfl wolfsburg, atlético madrid and chelsea. where do you think she’ll end up?

view all 220 comments

ynfan1 any club would be so lucky to have her! so glad she’s finally being spoken about.

arsenalfan1 PLS PLS PLS ARSENAL

chelseafan1 yn and millie on the same team would be a dream 😭

ynfan2 but i wanted her to stay at levante :(

ynfan3 she’s wasting her potential there. definitely needs to go to a bigger club.

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youruser added to their instagram story

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liked by youruser, miafishel10 and 28,390 others

chelseafcw offically a blue! welcome to the club @/youruser. the colour suits you. 😉.

view all 293 comments

ynfan1 WE WONN !!

ynfan2 arsenal were right there .....

chelseafan1 dream come true!

chelseafan2 never seen her play before, is she good?

ynfan2 AMAZING!

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liked by lj10, samanthakerr20 and 19,209 others

youruser first training session with the blues completed ✅

view all 167 comments

zeciramusovic first of many!

ynfan1 the chelsea badge looks so good on you !!!

ynfan2 imagine playing at spain for three years and then having to get used to english weather 😭

ynfan3 the neck warmer and gloves oh she’s struggling 😭😭

silvialloriss :(

ashley_lawrence10 💙💙💙

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liked by youruser, catarina_macario and 31,474 others

chelseafcw first start for our newcomer. rate her performance out of 10!

view all 294 comments

ynfan1 129394/10

chelseafan1 what a signing!

chelseafan2 the reason we kept a clean sheet today 1000%

johannakaneryd 10! ☺️

ynfan2 more starts PLEASE

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liked by mbrighty04, lj10 and 20,390 others

youruser settling in well!

view all 176 comments

mbrighty04 sisterrr 🫂

ynfan1 you look so good in blue !!!!

ynfan2 aww i love howv quickly she's fit in

ynfan3 need a goal and a badge tap next game to keep me sane

chelseafan1 transfer season done right.

_jesslcarter 💙💙💙

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liked by kerrfan1, chelseafan1 and 286 others

kerrupdates sam today during the chelsea vs everton match. her two goals made it 4-0 for chelsea!

view all 93 comments

kerrfan1 absolute baller

matildasfan1 imagine having sam kerr play for your club and country ... i am so lucky.

kerrfan2 did anyone see sam and yn after the match???

kerrfan3 what happened?

kerrfan2 they were hanging onto eachother and whispering to themselves, giggling together they looked really cozy.

chelseafan1 so? that's what friends do .

kerrfan2 i'm just saying.....

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samanthakerr20 just added to their instagram story

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liked by ynfan1, kerrfan1 and 274 others

ynupdates yn spotted with chelsea teammate sam kerr out and about today!

view all 102 comments

ynfan1 ONG ????!

ynfan2 wait …. what ????

kerrfan1 omg i love them already.

kerrfan2 i don’t know, i think people are reading into this too much.

ynfan3 swear they’re literally holding hands in the first pic ?? how could we be reading into this?

chelseafan1 i ship it !!!

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samanthakerr20 just added to their instagram story

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liked by ynfan1, kerrfan1 and 2,1939 others

kerrupdates 'just friends' right sam?

comments on this post have been limited.

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was meant to be longer but of course tumblr has a silly 30 image per post limit. would be open to a part 2 if any of you would like it?

[the-music-maniac]

This is one that ended up way longer than I would've liked but the brainrot has reached concerning levels.

Brief mentions of sephgen, sephgeal, sephzack, multishipping, spoilers for crisis core, rebirth etc. etc.

I've begun realizing the longer I traverse the various pages of FF7 fanworks that when I say I ship Sefikura, the romantic/sexual aspects of it don't matter as much to me as the emotional catharsis of it. And I say this because I feel like sefikura is often used to explore one specific type of fantasy/smut/kink etc. There's a portion of people who like the ship because they like exploring how fucked up it is for post-nibelheim Seph to try to make Cloud into a puppet - this is usually (not always) accompanied by size difference kink, sub Cloud dom Seph, etc. Even in sane! Sephiroth fics, for some reason Seph is still a dom/top. And while I personally despise that characterization common in that interpretation of the ship, it's still valid, cause y'all should be able to explore your own fanfics however you want. An "Ew. Oh well, none of my business." kind of deal.

I would like to make it known though, that as a Sephiroth fan I kind of hate domroth. Block me if you must, we can just agree to disagree lol.

My interest in Sefikura stems mostly from Sephiroth. I'm gonna shamelessly admit here that while I love Cloud as a character, he doesn't intrigue me as much as Sephiroth does. And I know I'm biased cause he's my favourite, but I get easily stuck on characters who were abuse victims that became villains because they gave into their demons, characters who managed to stay kind, up until they were so beaten down they snapped, characters who I think have redemption potential, even if it wouldn't be easy to do. Which can be the case with Seph both pre- and post- Nibelheim.

Post-nibelheim is a LOT harder to write convincingly, seeing as how he actually did fuck up like. Everything. And his victims don't have to forgive him. Not Cloud either, even though I am writing a post about sefikura. The redemption is more about personal improvement, rather than forgiveness. But it's really interesting because a Sephiroth that even has a chance at redemption post insanity, is one who is a mix of before and after. He still has all that rage inside him from how he was treated by humanity, still has visions of annihilation and delusions of grandeur in his head, but he also remembers that he used to love, that he used to have companionship, scarce as it was, and cared for the well being of the soldiers he lead, etc. How does he get to that point in the first place, and how does he deal with it after? With the warring that is likely occurring from those two sides, the festering resentment of knowing he was given so much less than he should've been, knowing that he had a human mother, but since he IS closer in capability to a god than a human, does he think he's a monster because of his heritage still or because he gave in? Does it even matter at this point, what he is? And what will he do, now that he has a portion of his humanity back (however that occurred) and isn't just purely Jenova? How does he deal with knowing that even in the depths of insanity, he still just didn't want to be alone? And of course the turmoil on Cloud and Co's side, usually some flavour of, okay so repeatedly killing him isn't working, I'm tired of fighting him every couple of years, I still have the responsibility of making sure he doesn't fuck everything up again, and of course the hatred they understandably feel for the shit Sephiroth has done. And as Sephiroth kind of fights to recover some semblance of identity and understanding of himself (without destroying anything), watching that occur and knowing objectively that your enemy didn't deserve what he got when he was a child, that a part of what occurred was after he was pushed to that degree - even if you subjectively can't make yourself feel it at the beginning. And then as the story progresses and characters undergo development, Cloud likely wrestling with the fact that he actually is starting to understand Sephiroth's predicament, realizing Seph can be so very human at times. And dealing with the worst sin/betrayal of all, enjoying his company for his company's sake. A Sephiroth that gets through that and finds some semblance of contentment is meaningful because it would take a mind-boggling amount of hardship and work to get there. And tbh here's where the bias comes in - it's what I would say is a happy ending for everyone. I know people would disagree, a lot would say Cloud and Co getting rid of Seph is good riddance, why should he get a chance, why should they have to deal with him, etc. hence why I acknowledge this is biased - but a happy ending to me is one where everyone else gets to stop fighting Seph and move on with their lives and Sephiroth actually gets to live the life he wanted when he was a child. I won't ever be entirely satisfied with FF7 canon for this reason (true of any tragedy). Nothing that happened to him pre-insanity was fair. So. Catharsis.

As for "redemption" of pre-nibelheim Seph, I read time travel fix-its when it comes to sefikura cause I find it more interesting. For anything pre-insanity that involves canon divergence without time travel, sephgeal, sephgen, sephzack, shipping, platonic or poly makes more sense to me, cause those three are positioned better to help Sephiroth in a meaningful way. Also I personally do think Cloud is a little too young for that then (even if I'm also convinced he 100% had a celeb crush on Seph. Which is also not what Sephiroth needs at that point).

So, for sefikura, pre-nibelheim redemption usually involves Cloud getting yeeted back in time, either by the planet or by choice, to stop things before any of it happens. Cloud usually believes he has to kill Sephiroth, so he'd likely be in close proximity. So how would he deal with seeing, first hand, all the ways that Sephiroth was isolated and dehumanized in Shinra? Cloud still hates him at this point, for good reason. So he's here, witnessing not only Sephiroth being a kind/decent (awkward) human being, but also the lab visits, Hojo being Hojo, being paraded around for propaganda, the effect the "betrayal" of the other firsts likely had, Sephiroth being straight up depressed and malnourished and overworked, hearing whatever lies were fed to control him when he knows the truth. How does he deal with the moral repercussions of killing a technically innocent man? Especially when he realizes that a little support and compassion could've changed the outcome entirely? And Sephiroth on the other hand, now stuck with this persistent stranger that doesn't treat him like either an emotionless weapon or a legend, but some secret third thing (is he trying to kill him???? Can't tell, mixed signals are happening). Cloud would also likely help take Sephiroth's mind off things by virtue of existing - not because Sephiroth particularly cares about Cloud at the beginning (why would he, they're strangers) but because Cloud is fucking weird. Not a soldier, still mako enhanced, angry/aggressive at him in particular and seemingly frustrated about it, history that doesn't match up to current behaviours, etc. Hell, Shinra would likely even order Seph to keep an eye on Cloud. Meanwhile Cloud is desperately fucking with the timeline to ensure everything ends up differently, and accidentally becomes some sort of support for Sephiroth in the process. Because while everyone else was so fooled by the propaganda surrounding their hero, leaving him alone to his own devices (despair and depression), Cloud knows that his attention should be on Seph right now. And I don't think he's the type to just leave things alone out of spite if Seph where to, for example, stumble out of the lab, half delirious from Mako, because of one of Hojo's whims. There's also the question of whether Cloud would know to help with Angeal or Genesis' degradation, which could help either clear up some misunderstandings between Seph and his friends, or just ensure that Seph doesn't lose them at all in the first place.

And if Sephiroth were to find out/be told the truth, about his mother, or about the future, HOW is he gonna react to that???? Knowing that okay, so my heritage isn't actually that of a monster, I have human DNA, but ended up snapping and trying to destroy the world anyways - once again, what does it mean to be a monster, and is he one already, if he hasn't even done all of it yet, technically? In this timeline he's likely closer to Zack, maybe close to Cloud, potentially has met Aerith, maybe Genesis and Angeal are still alive, so he's more tethered by a support system, so how would that change his viewpoints? Would he feel guilty? Does that send him into a worse depression?

Sefikura just tends to give me emotional catharsis when it's written like that, because it gives Sephiroth the opportunity to mourn what he should've had, and gives him a fighting chance to change it. It's someone else being shown the decades of neglect, how deep the hypocrisy of Shinra actually went, the systemic abuse, acknowledging all of the bullshit Sephiroth went through before Nibelheim. It's him breaking out of other's expectations of him, Jenova, or Hojo or whoever else, and getting his childhood wish to just be normal. Like Angeal said (quoted loveless I think) "and what do angels dream of?" "Angels dream of becoming human."

This is also why I find very little enjoyment in reading domroth sefikura. Sephiroth isn't someone who reminds me of that type of personality, before he went crazy. He seems like a very awkward, calm and even sometimes soft dude in his downtime. He's literally just some guy. We don't see a lot of his personality because he was trained (tortured) into believing anything other than perfect control is weakness and failure. I don't think he would have any sexual experience. I think he's depressed, and exhausted and alone and is just very good at hiding it. I don't think he even wants or needs sexual intimacy necessarily, so much as he needs someone to feel safe around.

Anyways. This is. Way too long now. Goodbye.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Introductions (2.1.1)

About me:

↪ Leah, she/her/any pronouns

↪ In my early 20s

↪ Reader, writer, sometime animator and artist

↪ Big cannibalism fan. Huge, really ;)

↪ Been doing martial arts for over a decade

↪Fan of CJ Cherryh

↪I reblog stuff from @leahpardo-pa-potato

My writing:

↪ Generally horror, with sides of fantasy

↪Posted in regular chunks of 500-1k words

↪I love tag games, esp OC ones :)

↪I do mini-series, one-shots, and novels

↪I will love you forever if you send me an ask

↪See my full list of one-shots here and my longer pieces below

My art and animation:

↪Masterpost here

↪Mostly blender 3d animations, though I do a bit of drawing too

↪ Don't expect it quite as often as my writing ;)

↪Just interact here to join the taglist!

WIPs / Longer stories

The Unwanted Visitor: (Completed)

Aida's house has been haunted by a spirit for as long as she can remember. Thing is, she's grown used to her Unwanted Visitor (or Vis, as she likes to call him). So when exorcists come after him, she does what any sane person would: protect her brother friend.

↪ Urban fantasy-comedy, very light-hearted

↪A lot of found family and sibling squabbling

↪If you like teens causing chaos, this is for you!

↪Final bit here

A Perfectly Normal Schoolgirl: (Completed)

All Katherine wants is to eat mortal food, bask in the warmth, and be a normal schoolgirl. But when a boy begs her to help him save her parents, she finds herself fighting for her (and his) life once more.

↪Urban fantasy with a side of horror

↪ Basically an inversion of a bunch of tropes

↪My attempt at writing fantasy without mentioning magic by name

↪Full thing here

Convenience Store Vampire: (Completed)

You'd expect vampires to be imposing and terrifying, masters of the night and princes of darkness. But that's not Davie, no siree. He's stuck down by Sunny Mart, working all day to scrape by. The last thing he wants is any trouble. Unfortunately for him, that's exactly what he's getting.

↪Silly urban fantasy shenanigans

↪ What it says on the tin + slice of life

↪Full thing here

A Tale for A Mouse: (Completed)

Who doesn't like to listen to evil old dark lords monologue about their childhood? Take a seat and come hear the story of the Spirit Emperor, as told by the man himself!

↪Cannibalism. Lots of it. World building too :D

↪High fantasy told via monologue

↪I cannot stress how proud I am of this.

↪Full thing here

Fast Food:

An embarrassment to his entire tribe, Hash is lazy and uninterested in anything. So, when he reaches majority, he gets unceremoniously booted out of home. Follow his adventures through Triworld, as he somehow ends up in every single single conflict across the continent.

↪High fantasy with a side of humour

↪Very heavy Lore™ and Worldbuilding™

↪ My excuse to ramble about fictional history

↪Latest bit here :) Also have @/illarian-rambling's rendition of Hash and her OC Elsind!

A Tale of Love, Death, and Maggots (Completed):

Doc's been wandering through hell for a good twenty years, now. He thought he'd seen it all. He thought he'd felt it all. He thought he'd lost it all. But it turns out love just has a way of crawling back into his chest and breaking his heart again.

↪ Tragedy?, fantasy?, horror?, Idk it's a weird little thing

↪I hope you like death because this sure has a lot of it

↪Full thing here, here's a moodboard of it and here is some fanart @/illarian-rambling made!

Lich-Queen (Completed):

Iraela has all but won: the King of Ceredell and his bride are gone, the cities fallen to her army of undead, and the way to the throne cleared for her. But her coronation, and her sanity threaten to fall apart under the weight of duty. Can she hold it together until she truly becomes Lich-Queen?

↪High, dark fantasy with some horror and gore

↪Watch Ira slowly lose her mind in real-time

↪If you like cannibalism, you'll love this

↪Full thing here, and here is fanart the lovely @/vampirelover890 drew?

The Novel™ (Mind of a Mercenary):

Luna, Terror of Garvenoi, mind-mage extraordinaire, has been caught at last. Whilst everyone celebrates, she is given an ultimatum: Be an indentured hunter for the government, or die. But when she signs on with them, she finds that perhaps death might have been a better choice...

↪ Urban Fantasy set in a Non-Earth world

↪Starring a sassy, mean-girl villain protagonist

↪Enjoy several hundred pages of Luna trying and failing to run from her duties

↪Find snippets here (find the others on my masterlist of writing)

Finally, my taglist! If you interacted with this post/already asked me to add you, and you don't see yourself here, please remind me! I may have accidentally missed you :')

Oh pls kill me I felt so silly doing this- Anyways bye guys hope to see y'all around don't judge me for this

[stickyspeckledlight]

HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THIS BLOG (and oooo follower appreciation event too and giveaway/raffle; below in the read me bc I'm gonna force y'all to deal with my sappy sappy words first <3)

(don't bully me my art is shit)

Like. Wow. I can't believe this blog is ALREADY ONE YEAR OLD (well, 1 year and one day old, tho technically it's even older since it's just a reblog ACC converted into my writing blog---but I'VE ONLY BEEN WRITING FOR IT FOR A YEAR AND ONE DAY, SO THERE), and how many ppl have gathered here

But seriously, I can't believe how many people actually enjoy my fun lil drabbles (wdym 30k is a drabble---) like fr ppl tysm for enjoying the shit i cook like *blushes* I'm so happy we can all be fucked up freaks together UwU. others may look at us an think we're pineapple pizza, but they're ignorant. in reality they are the pineapple pizza. and yes anon who keeps sending me pineapple pizzas to my house (fabricated) i will come for you, I'm just very busy baking pineapple pizzas to stuff you with when your time comes. the grim reaper thinks it's a bit excessive, but i don't, so that means i am a perfectly reasonable and sane person.

I'd been wanting to write yandere fic for awhile, but never really did anything until last year on the good ol' march 23rd when aventurine made me simp so hard that i finally wrote yan fics. and since then tbh its a bit silly to say but life kinda feels a lot better knowing that I've a community to share these lil drabbles (stop calling them drabbles oml) with, yknow. its the small things <3

seriously, im so awed at how many cool ppl I've met since starting this blog. from the anon who sent me pineapple pizza, the anon who sent me banger comments abt destroyed onset, the anons who give me cardiac arrest, the anon who asked me how my corpse was doing, and literally every single anon who plays along with my bullshit (anon who sent sunday outfit ask I promise I'm getting to answer it but ngl everytime i try to i just end up cuddling into my own blankets thinking about how cozy sunday's outfit is---look if i read abt cozy things then i gravitate towards cozy things ok)---tysm for giving me a giggle! all of your comments and the things you send into my inbox are the absolute highlights of my day.

So, to show my appreciation, instead of working on Destroyed Onset 4 and 5, i will instead be doing.

COMMISSION RAFFLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (3/24/25 - 3/28/25)

it's quite simple. just follow my blog (new followers are welcomed ofc) and reblog this post, preferably with something stupid so i can laugh at it and maybe make a meme out of it. in fact you know what if you do then I'll double draw you into the raffle. see. I've given y'all an incentive now. REBLOG WITH STUPID SHIT IF YOU WANT TO BE ENTERED TWICE INTO THE RAFFLE. IS THIS FAIR? IS THIS JUST? IDK BUT IT SEEMS FUNNY SO IMA DO IT LMAO. what are you going to do, stop me? ha, puny mortal. there is no stopping me now. because I'm having a good time, having a good ti---

once you're entered into the raffle, i'll draw some names and reward the following:

ONE person gets a full-length fic (somewhere between ~2-5k words)

ONE person get a shortfic (so up to ~1-2k words)

TWO people get a drabble (~200 - 500 words)

(but tbh knowing me all of these might end up way longer then i intend them to be---we'll see lmao)

This will run from TODAY, March 24th, to FRIDAY March 28th. One Friday passes, the names will be locked in and I'll DM the winners to discuss commission details.

As for requesting/commission rules, they're on my main page under 'Other Stuff' (alongside the tag guide). But since these are commissions, I'll add that I'm perfectly willing to write OC or Self-Inserts. I will not write non-yan fics though, just because tbh I have a really hard time writing pure fluff; like, it's not that i can't write fluff, but after a bit it's hard to resist the urge to insert something that's at least A LITTLE dark or angsty, lmao. But also just cuz this is a yandere blog, I'd like to keep my writing focused on yandere

Note: Commissions will be private, unless the commissioner gives me permission to post

With that, thank you!

Oh, and for the people who end up getting the above prizes, I might give y'all some participation memes. Just like. Compensary. You don't get fic but you get a lame semi-mass produced speckled meme

[notsohornytoad]

Ok here we go. My first poolverine idea. So it’s simple you have Alpha Worst!Logan who is known as a monstrous alpha no sane omega dared to be with for more than a night in his universe(even before the x-men were killed) and Omega Wade who lost his looks after everything with Francis and smells like death enough that no worthy alpha spares him a glance for more than a night. That’s background, the scene I’m specifically picturing is Logan being unable to take not saying anything about his feelings for Wade anymore and presenting Wade with a courtship gift(Logan’s dog tags because I love that idea); I don’t know who is more surprised Wade(because who would a beauty who is no longer beautiful) that Logan wants to court him(ie wants him as a mate) or Logan(because who wants a beast that will never become a prince) when Wade doesn’t hesitate(after being sure Logan is serious) to accept(putting the dog tags around his neck immediately).

Here you go! It’s a little longer than I anticipated but I got a little carried away. I also posted it on my AO3. I hope you like it!!

Tags

“C’mon. You can do this.” Logan whispered under his breath to the reflection of himself in the water-spotted mirror of his bathroom. The bathroom was sparsely decorated, much like the rest of his apartment which he had acquired shortly after Wade had asked him to come home with him.

It wasn’t that Wade and Al’s apartment was too small or that Logan wanted more (in fact the apartment he had chosen was much smaller than Wade’s despite having been given more than enough money to survive on by the TVA) but rather that it made him too close to the merc for comfort.

Wade had delightfully informed him that due to the apartment’s cramped size he would have to share the sofa bed with him. Which at first sounded fine; he had shared many a bed with people before in hostels, barracks, etc.

This was different.

That first night, Wade had bound out of the bathroom in his My Melody pajamas, a plump unicorn plush tucked cutely under his arm.

“Are you ready for the most fun sleepover ever? I went out and got so many snacks. There’s mini Reese’s cups, Sour Patch Kids… I even found a box of Jujubes waaaay back in one of the cupboards that I THINK is from the 80’s but come on, they’ve got so much preservatives we’ll probably be fine… plus our teeth grow back if we break them anyway so—“

“I’d rather just get some sleep, Wade. We kind of had a long day remember?” Logan was wearing an oversized shirt that said “Obi-Wan ComeBoneMe” that he had graciously borrowed from the other man, as well as some heart patterned boxers.

“Yeah, ok. I am pretty tired.” Wade said, obviously not very tired, as he plopped down next to Logan.

Logan gave him a sort of half-smile.

“Goodnight, Wade.”

“Night, Peanut.”

Wade reached over and turned off the table lamp. Logan waited for the inevitable yapping to start… but it never came. Despite being seemingly full of energy mere minutes prior, Wade fell asleep quickly. He was drooling.

Sleep never came easy for Logan, however. He stared at the dark ceiling, his mind racing, going over every detail of the past few days, back to the day Wade found him, plastered in that bar, wishing he could die.

He thought of Scott, of Jean. The people he let down. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and his breath quickened a bit. A familiar feeling.

As he gripped the sheets beneath him, waiting for the panic to set in, Wade moved in his sleep. His arm went over Logan and he cuddled his face into his neck. He was mumbling something about a taco truck.

Logan went stiff. His heart was racing, yet a strange calm washed over him, almost like an ecstasy. It was Wade’s scent. They had been close like this before, many times… but there had been too many distractions: blood, adrenaline, his own anger. Here in the quiet of the night, it was amplified.

Wade’s scent was uniquely his own. There were layers to it, like a designer perfume. The most prevalent smell, which is what most alphas would abhor, was death. A sickly sweet warning provided by the cancer that ravaged his body, the cancer that his healing factor kept at bay.

Logan, however, had a nose that was far more keen. And as he lie there, just slowly breathing in and out, the base layer became more prevalent. This was Wade’s original scent: his omega flavor.

It somewhat startled Logan that he hadn’t noticed this before. Wade was an omega. How could he have not sensed it? Of course no one else did either, it seemed… maybe it was the fact that his smell of decay was too strong for the average alpha to scent… maybe it was just that Wade’s power to annoy and piss people off was so distracting that even if someone did get a whiff they thought it couldn’t be true. But it was.

And it was intoxicating.

In the morning that followed, Logan awoke to Wade nudging his nose into Logan’s neck.

“Mornin,’” he said, his voice full of sleep, as he sat up and stretched. “Guess I really was too tired, I don’t even remember falling asleep. How’d you sleep, pumpkin?”

“….great,” Logan said, surprised by his answer. He really did.

Wade rambled on about breakfast and how he had to take Mary Puppins out for a walk, but the rest of the conversation sort of became noise to Logan. He was unable to process anything. All he could think was…

It was dangerous.

He was dangerous.

He was reminded of all the people he had loved in the past. How he always ended up (either physically or emotionally) hurting them.

And so that day, he had left.

It wasnt too hard to find an apartment. People in this world thought he was the other Logan- the brave, selfless Logan. So someone cut him a deal on a tiny apartment that was about a twenty minute walk from Wade’s.

At first he hadn’t thought to really buy any furniture. He thought that just sleeping on a mattress on the floor was enough. But when Wade had invited himself over the following day and said “damn bitch, you live like this?” He decided to get a couch.

Then a few days after that, Wade had showed up with a bunch of food. He tried to protest but the other man had already bodied himself through the door, Mary Puppins in tow.

They ate together on the couch and watched YouTube videos on Wade’s phone. He didn’t know what a “Minecraft Let’s Play” was but it didn’t really matter. The next day, he found a cheap dinner table with two chairs on Craigslist.

And so it continued. Wade would visit every day, with a big smile on his face and dinner in a bag. And every night he’d go home, but his scent lingered. Logan found that he would sleep on the couch instead of his floor mattress because it was where Wade had been sitting all night.

It was strange to not have night terrors.

It was even stranger that Wade, an omega, had been leaving his scent on everything and yet it hadn’t drove Logan crazy. The past had been so predictable: an omega would leave their scent as invitation for a rough night from a rough man. Most got more than they bargained for. None ever stayed.

Before he knew it, months had passed. His apartment was still barebones by most people’s standards but he had the essentials. Mostly thanks to Laura.

“Thanks again for helping me figure this thing out,” he said, tossing his smartphone on the table. It was a Saturday, which was usually the day they spent time together.

“Well you did say the phones in your universe were different.” Laura said, after swallowing a mouthful of Corn Flakes.

“Yeah they were like little bricks and the screens were like green and black. But you couldn’t break em if you tried.”

“So when are you gonna tell him?” She said with her mouth full.

“Tell who what?” Logan’s brow furrowed as he emerged from the fridge with a cold beer.

“Wade.” Chew chew.

“Okay. And what am I telling him?” He asked before cracking the can open and throwing it back.

“That you want him to be your mate.” Chew.

Logan inhaled, choking on liquid. He doubled over, sputtering.

“Cmon,” Laura said. “Don’t lie to me. I can smell it on you. I can smell him everywhere. Scent doesn’t lie.”

And so here he was. It had been about two weeks since she had brought it up and it took him three days to accept it. Three days of Wade coming over and Logan finally noticing how his heart swelled whenever he looked at him, how he felt less annoyed by his constant jokes, how his flirting made a heat rise up in his chest.

The rest of the time was him building up the courage to confess.

“God.” Logan looked down at his left hand which was balled into a fist, a long ball chain hanging down from it. Slowly his fist opened and he stared at the metallic tags that bore his name.

“Cmon. You’re not a teenager. This ain’t prom. Just do it.” he started to walk towards the door, but stopped, feeling a wave of nausea. I can’t. He won’t want you. He flirts with everyone. It doesn’t mean anything.

Just as he started to turn around, a voice came from the other side of the door.

“Wolvy? Did you fall in or something?” There was a knock. “I didn’t bring my water wings I don’t know if I’ll be able to fish you —“

Logan opened the door.

“—out. Oh good you’re ok.” There was Wade, grinning at him like an idiot. A stupid, adorable, lovable moron. Logan suppressed the urge to hug him to his chest.

“Sorry.” He said, pushing past the other, as if he were going to the dinner table. It was covered with white Chinese food boxes. “Don’t you think you went a little overboard? There’s enough here for ten people.”

“Yeah sorry. But the lady that runs that place threatened to poison me if I didn’t get one of everything cuz her restaurant is close to going bankrupt and she had this huge knife—“

Logan had stepped up to Wade and covered his mouth with a hand.

Only moments ago, he had thought “it’s now or never” but now that Wade was shut up the silence felt smothering. Logan lowered his hand.

“I…. Uh….” God his throat was dry. Why was it so hot in there?

Wade looked bewildered, his beautiful mouth slightly agape, and Logan couldn’t help but think about how kissable his lips were.

“So I uh… been thinking…” he started, cursing himself for rambling. Shouldn’t this be romantic? Why was he so shit with words when it mattered?

“That uh… maybe you could wear these.” He held up his hand, palm up, almost showcasing the tags. “For me.”

Wade’s eyes had been glued to Logan’s face as he talked. He slowly lowered them, until they rested on the glinting metal.

“…..your…. Those are your tags.” He said, his voice uncharacteristically small.

“Yeah.”

“But that would…. mean…”

“Yeah.”

Logan couldn’t tell what sort of expression Wade had on. He was staring blankly at the tags, before he looked up and locked eyes with him.

“That’s not funny.” Wade said, his eyes glassy, as though he were holding back tears.

“What- what do you mean funny? I’m being serious.” Logan said.

“Right. Mr Most-Handsome-Man-in-the-Universe, courting Pizza the Hutt.”

Logan didn’t know that reference. “Huh??”

“Hello??” Wade waved his hand over his own face. “Freddy Krueger’s Ball Sack? The Mince Meat Special? Arby’s Beef and Cheddar?!” A small tear has snuck its way down his face.

Logan couldn’t believe it. He had been so obsessed with the thought that Wade would reject him for being, well, the worst Wolverine, he didn’t plan for this scenario.

“You’re not ugly.” He stated, factually. It was starting to make him mad, the way Wade was talking about himself.

“Okay, now I know you’re going senile. We’re gonna have to get you some glasses grandpa, because I literally make babies cry. I am so ugly that—“

“Shut up.” Logan growled, before taking a step forward and pressing his lips to Wade’s. When Wade didn’t kiss back, he pulled away.

Had he made a mistake? Of course he had. Why would Wade want a failure like him? He couldn’t even get his feelings across right.

“You….” Wade said, blinking dumbly. “You kissed me.”

Logan felt shame. He swallowed, ready to apologize.

“You’re… serious? You want me?” Wade asked, his voice small again.

Logan couldn’t find his voice. He just nodded once.

A grin slowly spread across Wade’s face. He leaned forward, bowing his head. Logan almost forgot to breathe as he shakily unclasped the ball chain and placed it around Wade’s neck, securing it behind him.

When Logan let go, Wade stood up straight, Logan’s dog tags around his neck.

“Well? How do I look?” Wade asked, his grin never faltering.

“Beautiful.” Logan answered. And he was. Beautiful. His.

“Oooh does this mean we’re gonna bump uglies now?!”

His beautiful idiot.

[redrandomposts]

Hello! Sorry I have not sent an ask in some time but I had an idea to share-

So I am thinking that maybe in the same area as the till going back in time au’s. What if in this au Till and Ivan were in love (like the beach timeline maybe) and in that timeline Ivan died somehow. (Probably to save Till from something dangerous- or maybe drowning if they successfully ran away) Then till comes back and tries to push Ivan away because their love is what kill Ivan. And then Till behaves exactly like canon- but because he doesn’t want to hurt Ivan in the end. (Like refusing to run away because Ivan died from them running away and till is afraid of that happen again)

and till hopes that if he pushes Ivan away and never meets Ivan’s eyes Ivan won’t love him anymore! But then Ivan dies anyway and till feels foolish because he wasted a second chance to love Ivan pushing him away and hurting him.

I am not sure that makes sense but I think you will understand the main point!

Okay thank you friend,

-🍎

i was going to forgive u for not sending asks... and then u shattered my heart so lets call it uneven. (/hj. my heart is shattered.) my heart doesnt deserve this.

reason #1 not to join fandoms: they are all doomed to give you bad endings. orv? slaughterhouse of optimism. alnst? massacre of yaois and yuris and eveything inbetween.

reason #2: the fans reflect the fandoms. if the fandom is eternally sad, the fans will always post sad stuff.

...anyways, i think its obvious ivan dies to protect till in both lives. what i think is the real kicker is that till decided to show ivan love one life, and then deprave him of it the next.

aagghhh

till u r not the good guy in this. u can be a guy who loves ivan so much you'd give up happiness, but not even discussing it... and to think that u had a whole timeline to yourselves... and you still dont know what ivan truly wants.

yeah i think i understand this prompt very well. ive been in the angst longer than ive been sane.

ok, so, its successful escape au... im assuming before the actual performances, a bit after their main memories of anakt. thats my age interpretation of the beach art. i think this is an au where till didnt let go of ivan's hand...

guys. you can do this and then u can do canon, where till does let go, but he doesn't expect ivan to follow. he tries to push him away, but in the end, in r6, ivan dies.

or you can be unique and creative!

they both are forced to be near each other, as they are fugitives and escapees, but till keeps reminding himself to push ivan away. his heart hurts when he does, and breaks at ivan's dejected look. he perseveres, though, because above all all he wants is for ivan to live.

and then they're caught. till yells at ivan to go away, telling him to do something else. the attention of a guard robot patrolling is locked on them, about to fire a gun. ivan notices, but till doesn't, trying to forget the fact he broke ivan's heart yet again.

with a loud bang that deafens all of them, ivan attacks the robot. the bullet fires, tears at his torso, but he still attacks and attacks until the robot is sparking at the ends of wires, metal plates dented and broken into sharp edges that retaliate and cut ivan's hands.

ivan bleeds out in till's arms, years younger than his first death. till feels even more devastated—especially when ivan mouths "i love you," and shuts his eyes, clearly not expecting it to be returned.

ok thats enough tumblr for today

[jinnlikespurple]

Welp, these have been sitting in my phone's gallery for long enough, it's about time I posted them (if I go a second longer without sharing them with the world I'll explode)

I hate this bastard so much (also I'm a liar)

As requested by @chuchunnment (og art by @mictiankityrrrr)▽

A bit of lore/headcanons about my Bill

- Left side of the face (including the eye), arms and legs are burnt from the Euclidean massacre (it hurts to walk so he uses a cane or, you know... just floats around like a sane person)

- I know most people draw him in formalwear but I just can't imagine a partier like him wearing a suit (not properly at least)

- Doesn't button up shirts because it's a waste of time

- Triangle necklace as a throwback to his OG form; I imagine as long as he has it on his person he can transform back (that is if we go off the assumption that his powers are limited)

- I suppose it's worth mentioning that the brick pattern is engraved into the skin of his body. But to show you that I'd have to post him naked haha unless that's what you want I mean I'm just here to do what I'm told you know ;)

- Also I like the idea of red and blue triangle earrings that I've seen floating around so he has them (ignore the fact that it's black and white) in that last sketch but I doubt it'll be a permanent addition to the design

- Stole Ford's fashion style/clothes (somehow they magically fit him)

- Silly guy

- I don't really have a reason as to why he's human, I guess it depends on whatever au I have in mind at any given point in time

- Also he's based off a design I made for him back in 2021 (no I'm not gonna show that)

I am cringe but I am free (except for the fact that the gravity falls fandom suddenly has me in a chokehold after nearly a decade of not interacting with it 😭)

Do y'all want me to post my Billford stuff? Cause I'm going to whether you like it or not lol

He's just a silly little guy throws him at the wall

[writingsinashes]

So a few things!!

I am still on a semi-hiatus! Just because I'm here for a day to do something like this (the whole remaking the multi shebang), work on graphics or code, lurk, or maybe make a few posts here and there—basically just me being online—doesn't change that fact.

I WANT TO WRITE. PLEASE KNOW THAT. I WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE OOC. DO NOT DOUBT THAT.

I need people to understand that I am currently going through something that makes it hard for me to maintain a thought, much less elaborate on it, almost all the time.

The only reason I'm not in radio silence anymore is that I've reached the part of my withdrawal where the DTs are really hurting; therefore, any distraction is welcome, and even though it may be short-lived, it is a distraction to refresh the Dash and just wait, read the amazing threads, or just say hi.

If I stop responding, I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and my fractured state of mind. I shit you not, I've gotten up and have taken a shower only for me to get back into my nest and forget- and end up showering again without knowing.

I am not joking. I am not okay, but I'm trying to get there.

It's just that these types of things take time, especially since it's all happening without being admitted to an inpatient rehab facility and having to cope with the symptoms and pain without the help of something to help dull it medicinally and supervised by a doctor.

We're not even going to talk about how finals are coming up or the fact that I can no longer NOT be working because of my relapse. I. Am. Doing. My. Best. At. Just. Waking. Up. Every. Day.

Life doesn't go according to plan. I don't think that's surprising news. This isn't how I saw 2024 ending or how 2025 was supposed to start. But it's time to roll with the punches and keep going because its been too long a journey for me to just roll over and let myself get beaten.

Addiction isn't going to beat me. Pain isn't going to win. Waking up to a new day isn't going to be something to dread. People can't just bully their way into my world and try to take away my coping mechanisms without me fighting for the right to be sane and stable.

I just need support, which I am getting from you guys and Jasmander, and the knowledge that after this hellatius is over, I'm going to have somewhere to come back to and be the me you all have known, be the me that is me.

At least that last sentence made me laugh.

I love you guys.

Thank you for sticking with me and listening to me bitch and moan, follow this blog then that blog... thank you guys for not abandoning me like my tunnelminded bad brain thoughts taunt me with.

This turned into a TL;DR so thank you for coming to this TED talk and I need to give you a hug for getting this far and bless.

I need to try to eat because it's not been a success today, but not to be a cliche... one day at a time, right?

[bindeds]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 FOLLOWERS ! — i genuinely can’t believe i’ve come this far with posting my brainrot for hazbin. it has and will continue to be such an honor to keep posting for you guys, and to celebrate you guys i’ve prepared a little something for you guys, hehe!

requests.

i am willing to do any requests you guys might have which includes art, gifs, character ships (radioapple, huskerdust, etc) and of course character x reader ships despite generally being an x reader blog. though of course as any sane person would, i am not entertaining angel x val.

some fics along the way …

i have been cooking up something specifically for lucifer though nothing is confirmed yet except for the fact that i want to make a longer fic for him (AT LEAST 10k words long), but i’m kinda having trouble for the plot so this kinda connects to the first thing which if you have any ideas for me to write i am implore you to hit up my askbox, please! i’m gonna need all the help i can get! i’ve also gotten a radioapple worm in my head and the premise is too good not to act on though i will say it will be shorter than the lucifer fic. because of this both of these will be on my ao3 so stay tuned!

selfships.

i thought it would be cool for you guys to tell me a bit about yourself and then from there i pick a character from hazbin/helluva (depending on which show you prefer) that i think you would like/be with romantically (or even queerplatonically for the aro/aces out there)!! i’ve seen other people do this as well and they do 3-pic moodboards sometimes and i’d love to do that for you guys! or if you guys wanna go in depth i could also make short fics dedicated to you personally upon request!

get to know me + qna!

besides all the stuff that’s stated in my pinned, i’ve been writing since i was 10 (i am 18) and i’ve wanted to be a published author for the longest time, though as i grew older i realized there’s a lot of other ways i can get my stories out to the world, like screenwriting, animating (or being both the creator and writer of my own show AHEM totally not talking about hazbin) so i’m not really sure of things yet, but i will say i’ve learned a lot about writing since i first started and even though i know this is all for fun, i take the way i write things seriously, so any constructive feedback you might have will be valuable to me! anyway, i have A LOT of opinions on everything hazbin/helluva so you can ask about those or more about me! i’m a very open person so i like to give in depth responses. but yeah feel free to ask about my opinions on helluva/hazbin as well as my personal life too!

another thing i wanted to disclose about myself since i feel comfortable after having met such wholesome people after starting this blog, is that i have been through abuse very similar to angel dust’s meaning his character meant a lot to me and he was my favorite character when the pilot first came out so yeah! definitely ask me about angel too if you have anything to ask!

[vanilla-lip-stick]

Brainrot

So I am about ten years late to the fandom, started reading Elsanna fics about half a year ago. A few times before that, Elsanna stories appeared in my AO3 searches, but I shied away from those because of the incest aspect, I won't lie. However, I was running out of femslash stories to read, to I thought, well, I can read the unrelated stuff, it's fine.

I found those two utterly charming and adorable, and I couldn't get enough. So I eventually peeked into the pile of stories where they were sisters but not only sisters. And I still found them utterly charming and adorable, but also, at times, broken, repressed, yearning, hurting, fighting, loving. It quickly became my favourite ship (and it currently still is), and I particularly like the sister aspect because I always was a sucker for forbidden love, always liked it when writers ventured into difficult territory, asked difficult questions, gave ambiguous answers, because that's what life usually is, at least from my perspective.

After, at the time of posting this, five published stories on AO3 with about 70 k words, I'll tell you a little secret: I have never seen Frozen. Most I know about it and about Anna and Elsa I know from fics, and bits and pieces from other sources. If you read hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about them, I guess something sticks.

Also, many of those fics have inspired ideas of my own. New entries keep popping up in my backlog, and I already have about 50 outlined in various degrees. Just to give you a taste of what's in there, have this screenshot:

Yes, those numbers on the right are page numbers. More numbers? Then have this:

Before I started to treat writing seriously some years ago, before I finally committed myself to try my best to become a professional author, I was one of those people you wondered: where do writers get all these ideas from? Now, I find myself on the other end of the spectrum. I have too many ideas. (That above is, mind you, just my Elsanna backlog. My backlog for originals is even longer. Not that size matters.) There's no way I could possibly turn every idea I have had until now into a story even if I turn 100. And sometimes, this thought is so hard to cope with because while I don't think each of these ideas is a gem, there are many of them I love in one way or another.

(Some ideas, I am really scared of, and one in particular makes me sick whenever I stumble across it because it covers a topic I, as a reader, usually give a wide berth. Not so long ago, I read a fic that had this, thought I could perhaps take it, and looking back I have so say: no, I can't, and I have to fight the images in my head when I remember certain parts of the story to stay somewhat sane.)

Anyway. I wish writing didn't take so long, and I wish I were immortal until one day I decided I have had enough. I'm sure many of you can relate. (If there even is someone out there reading these ramblings. If there is, come say hi. Or find my stories on AO3.)

[katyspersonal]

Can we talk about how, despite everything, you have managed to create a community where truth and fairness are a priority in the midst of a fandom where social hierarchy, black and white puritanical morality, and narrow-minded judgements were the norm?

And how fucking good it feels to know that just being honest and trying to point out double-standards and fighting back by being loud in support of nuanced, open-minded discussion and analysis instead of adding to the cycle of hating/lashing out has managed to craft a safe haven for people who think this way too?

Your haven may not be “popular” but it’s real and it’s an oasis for people who don’t weaponize their narrow morality or past experiences to justify bullying and lying and “calling out” every sign of flawed behavior in others.

*reads your recent emotional longpost in your blog and connects the dots with this ask*

sdfjhhdssd Okay okay fine, sorry XD (you are still a chicken tho)

I am glad that you really like the little "group" that self-organised around us the way you do, really.; Tbh I never expected it to ever become anything BUT us four (you, Val and Fantomette). However, not only other people tagged along with us, but we were also able to infect others with "put one's speaking against toxic kind of fans in the main tags" virus so now it is even EASIER for us to find each other!

Though to be honest, you guys only see me 'safe' because you are generally used to a kind of "moody" and complicated people in your lives. Before you guys met me, you've already dealt with relatives with hardcore depression and them dreaded "bad victims", so I was not someone outlandishly troublesome for you. Otherwise, ironically, whereas I attract people with my post, I am also the one who pushes them away by saying something heavily opinionated or reacting poorly to something. I am not ashamed of this, I am proud; I don't want people who are unable to handle any form of inconvenience and work the conflicts out, they are stressed by life in a different way and they have different small groups to form. I just want to point out that our idea of safety, with brutal honesty and letting flaws and conflicts happen freely is certainly not a universal standard sdhdsh (Shallow people like hopepunks who just clutch at "good vibes" and "being neutral" when their friends are bullied, on the other hand, I just can't stand)

I don't even know what I am trying to say anymore, sorry. It is just kind of hard to uphold this group when no boundaries set and the only filter is whether I can yap something "inconvenient" consistently. But if I don't, I will attract people who 'just like cute art and elaborate loredigging' and this is just not what I want of internet. I am not online to chill before I go back to ✨real✨ world and hang out with ✨real✨ people, I am here for legit human interactions and bonds. Internet used to be a place to rest from hardships of reality, but now things have changed, and it is the other way around: you are not allowed to avoid the internet spaces anymore for many reasons (for example if you live in the country that "protects" you from truthful news and from sane people COUGH COUGH). So, it is the real world where you rest from the internet now. Or, perhaps, we no longer have a place to rest, so why bother? x)

And I sure don't want to elaborately describe my preferences in fandom and add some sort of BYF/DNFI field in a pinned post to help people to preemptively "curate their experience". If I am to be rejected by a fellow fan, then only and only after they actually come in contact with something they don't like about me. Like, no! You won't get to decide against following me for fun lore posts when you read that I can be rude and explosive! You will decide against it when you actually see a post when I am rude and explosive!! I am against the mindset of frantically avoiding feeling anything that might make one uncomfortable, and I WILL make it everyone else's problem!!!

Okay this is all to say that we are probably insane for what our idea of "safe oasis" is and a type of people who dread the promises of Heaven where no negative thing can be ever experienced. I would not have had it any other way tho