#* &. lisa cuddy.

[thankstothe]

!👏

[astral-scout]

party rockers in the

[allpiesforourown]

House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

[puckspoetry]

POV: you wake up from a mouse bite induced coma

[jasprboi]

[sinfulpepsi]

“Chat it’s NOT lupus”

[stampgwifeyera]

i want to take this moment to appreciate the way that the actors say their lines in such comedic ways

[pan1ck]

[loudmariachibands]

whatever you think is happening on house md it’s worse!

[lovelenivy]

mouse bites™

[titojefie]

we do a little tomfoolery

[wintersnails]

early seasons of House MD are so precious to me. House shifts between being prickly and doing soft little things because he hasn’t refined his persona into a suit of armor yet. Cuddy manages to be gorgeous in the most dubious pantsuits imaginable, Wilson is written like a two-dimensional female side-character who’s only there to show cleavage (aka cheekbone) and then leave. Foreman is ready to fistfight House on his very first day of work and Cameron still thinks she can change the moral trajectory of everyone around her through sheer perseverance. Chase is there to be Australian and have Catholic issues and daddy issues and malpractice issues and blackmail issues.

[acidicwerewolf]

I need them to do a reboot of House but I want them to just go fucking wild with it. Everyone's gay, everyone's fucking. House, Wilson, and Cuddy are in a toxic polycule, one that definitely violates work ethics, that ends when Cuddy cheats on them with Cameron. I want it to be just as homophobic, just as ableist, just as fucked up, as the original and yet have the characters all be so fucking woke. Same episodes with the same plots but modern. I want Chase to have an onlyfans.

[whotftooktrell]

An hour of enrichment a day keeps your pet house tamed for a while

[sugar-salt-sea]

i miss early season house md where house and wilson were both still kinda scared of cuddy and looked like this when they got caught doing something they werent supposed to

[heph]

Have you heard about the secret Beach Episode 🏖️