#(yesterday i found out abt
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this is going to be me when I get a cat
#pichu#sephiroth#super smash bros#pokemon#final fantasy vii#fanart#doodle#digital art#timmy draws stuff#I'm abnormally invested in the idea of them being friends I found out abt it YESTERDAY.
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live laugh love discoholic
#idc that it's friday#it's wednesday in my heart#sparkle on#it's wednesday#sparkle on it's Wednesday#discoholic#i just found out abt this man yesterday and i love him#thank u tiktok
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the unimaginable fucking pain of running on three hrs of sleep and nothing but a cup of cold chai for the past two days while i have a backlog of five dtiys for very dear mutuals and irl friends on this site...................yet no motivation to do any of them. im gonna kms fr this time i feel like a horrible friend
#NOT TO MENTION I LITERALLY MISSED KOKOASCI'S DTIYS BC I FOUND OUT ABT IT WAY TOO LATE LIKE THE DEADLINE WAS YESTERDAY OR SMTH LIKE WTFF#I FUCKING HATE THE TUMBLR ALGORITHIM I WSH I SAW IT EARLIER#this is so fucking UNFAIR this is why i do a dtiys the min i see the post bc if i put it off it's never getting done#BUT LIKE I CANT DO THAT THIS TIME BC IM IN MY DEPRESSION ERA OR SMTH#plus i have to run my own and keep up w that one oughhhh
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“waow! tally hall stuff coming soon? i hope im still fixated on them!!”
“…bold of you to assume we would still be fixated on them by then”
“what? its only a mon—“
“WOE, OBJECT SHOW OBSESSION UPON YE.”
@vaporwar3
#tbh yh. bfdi and ii are at fault for this#i wanna say zeeverse but by the time i found out abt them and stuff my tally hall fixation was long gone#pager anon you must have telepathy tho or something cuz i was singing tally hall songs yesterday for the first time in weeks#thats a lot i was rlly fixated#textpost#shitpost
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happy birthday shioriko!! i love you <3
#crow's scribbles#love live#love live nijigasaki#shioriko mifune#first proper digital love live fanart yayyyy#i found out her birthday was coming up literally yesterday and spent the whole day planning her outfit lol#i wanted to draw her with flowers but i realized that i didn't have enough energy to be able to do that so i just made her pose like this#she looks super cute in this suit <3333#she's one of my top favorites in love live; second to eli bc yeah.#i wanna get merch of her one day..... waugghghgh#i'll stop talking now before this becomes keysmash of me talking abt how cute shioriko is bye bye
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yyayayaya happy miku day everyone 🎉🎉 (5/9)
#kinda had to speedrun this bc i pretty much found out abt miku day YESTERDAY#so if stuff looks weird or isnt 100% accurate thats my excuse#also this is a costume in project sekai#<-its called fortune witch#rosemine's art#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration#hatsune miku#miku fanart#miku day#miku#project sekai
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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I am five seconds away from creating Help Wanted posters for the Devourer fight in the Catacombs DONE AND DUSTED NEVER AGAIN
#w101#wizard101#literally spent 4-5 hours doing it yesterday night with a friend and two random players#one of them was the hitter and the other a life wiz who Refused to heal#my fire wiz friend was the other hitter and i got delegated to being healer and boost dealer… despite being a storm w 5k health#also fun fact! this is one of those fights where you need to stay alive by the end of it for it to count as done <33#we found out the hard way <33#the storm hitter and the life wiz (who spammed bad juju and nothing else.) got their quests done and ditched us#so. if anyones a healer and Willing to go through that fight then that would be much appreciated#pretty sure its the last dungeon in the catacombs too… so close to being done w that questline QQ#we did our best it should of counteddd <//333#matter of fact i will DRAW ur wizzy in full-colour if u r willing to help us get the quest done (fr this time) /srs#(i am fr abt the art btw)
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Rly is cringe to think about fandom Numbers because that shit is made up but it also it is about liking what u do and then it falling suuuper flat...
#delete later#MADE THE MORTAL MISTAKE OF CHECKING THE TAG and being curious to see how it was if sorted by kudos#SORRY posting about it is also cringe i know i know. had a long talk w friends yesterday abt it which cheered me up a little#and found they too in different fandoms also really get this Thing so its not just me being crazy petty etc etc but still#objectively i know the way Others have so much more reach is abt going in a bunch of servers adn building a Presence but i aint doing that#its just the natural answer seems to just be You Just Write That Bad... sigh whatever#time for medieval history tonight anyway <3#will delete this soon im just trying to get it out so i dont delete my actual work instead BWHAHA
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#dont know who else to talk to about this because it feels so personal but i feel anonymous on here#yesterday i had an ultrasound of my chest and they found something abnormal and ordered a biopsy#and its been on my mind every minute since then#the mass looks uncomfortably similar to the google images that pop up when u search 'malignant tumor'#and ive been doom scrolling on the breast cancer subreddit lmao#and im aware that its just stressing me out more but i couldnt stop and almost started crying#like the results could come back completely normal but.... im terrified of that not being the case#and i dont know how to deal with it until the actual procedure#its on friday but time is going so slow#all day ive been wanting to just blurt out my feelings to everyone ive talked to#but it feels so embarassing at the same time#so thats why im posting abt it on here i guess#i just literally dont know how to process my feelings rn
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so my country finally got the daylist thing on spotify and. currently its "yugoslav new wave castle thursday afternoon". no need to call me out as a joker out fan damn
#i wish i was making thisbuo its so funny#like yesterday it was pop song sive never listened to and today ot was like actually you stan joker out a bit too much. heres a callout#also#yugoslav new wave? yeah i sure hope it does#i have no reason to post this i just needed to yap abt it bc i found it mildly funny
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my mother in law is so fucking goated found family win 💯💯💯
#my dad pulled up to my house yesterday amd we called her to come talk him outta here#then today he texted her (i changed my number bc of him) (she knows him from AA) saying hes truly disappointed and its pathetic i 'didnt#wanna face him abt my 'choices'“ (the choice being. top surgery) called me PATHETIC !!!#cringe ass clownery but sht has been so nice and love abt like being the middle man so i dont have to interact w that mf#found family W i love my in laws so much#my blood fam could Never be this real and loving im just 💞💞 love my husband and his family sm#literally when i first ran away i lived w my now husband and his mom for months she didnt even meet me but once before rhen and she took me#in. and when my dad came drunk n broke into her house her and my husband fussed his ass out they was not letting him kidnap my ass dkbdjdbd#crazy they have always been like my knights in shining armor 💯💯💯#sharing this as a happy moment of appreciating my family but also if u out there like god damn my family sucks god i cant wait to get away#but i dont want to be lonely-- you dont have to be lonely !! there are ppl out there who will love and care for you like family#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💯#talkin.555
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the fact that my phone hasnt told me TWICE that theres a GIGS stream is such a betrayal frfr
#how dare it not alert me abt the stream yesterday OR today#i only found out abt the one today bcs SIRI OF ALL THINGS gave me a notif like#uhhh do you wanna watch this#gigs#impulsesv#grian#goodtimeswithscar#skizzleman
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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package
#fun story#i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it#and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently#before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive#so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs#and being on the phone at work for a while lmao#i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another#the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read#so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the address‚ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end#yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall#and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it#and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER#so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirt‚ 2 kiki sign things‚ a sweater‚ and a pair of pants for $40#and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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