#(yep that feels about right)
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Me, watching War of the Rohirrim: hey that one scene with the orcs was kinda funny! There was good scene chemistry there!
Me, watching the credits: Aha…
#yep that’ll do it!#i was so pleasantly surprised to see them there!#anyway that’s all from me about the movie right this second but i liked it you guys!#i feel like this is vague enough it doesn’t need spoiler tags?#war of the rohirrim
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Can you imagine this place in its time? Hordes of bugs travelling about the Kingdom; stag bells ringing; the station bustling with activity and life.
Now only our like even know it exists. That's a special thing I suppose, to cherish these sights, even in their decay
#art yard#fanart#hollow knight#human au#hk gijinka#art#hk ghost#hk quirrel#cute moment between them#quirrel is pat them on the head#and they dont understand what this feeling is#yep#ghost who learns about emotion is my favorite idea#did you spot small slugcat in right corner?
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"you guys are celebrating a murder" yes, I am aware?? 🤨 that's literally The Whole Point
#''you're idolizing a MURDERER'' yep sure am 👍 and good for him tbh#if the uhc ceo killer came to me right now and needed a place to stay#i would not only hide him forever but also suck his dick every day amen#uhc ceo#united healthcare#the people trying to moral grand stand about this are so clearly missing the point it's not even funny#OBVIOUSLY the murder is tragic and killing people is wrong#but the murder of brian thompson was also calculated and planned#it wasn't spontaneous or a result of angry lashing out#it was meticulous and clearly targeted#and we all know why#we're latching onto the shooter because he's the current embodiment of a poor and exhausted working class#no one wants to sit back and take this anymore#the shooting was a symptom of the larger problem -- namely the gross wealth disparity in america#instead of condemning the action maybe y'all should condemn the years and years and YEARS of suffering—#that the working class has been through to make a man feel like something this extreme was necessary
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“Mike wheeler’s armpit of a basement”
“I’ve seen Mike’s room look worse than this”
“I was being a total self pitying idiot”
“Why am I the bad guy”
“One day she’s going to realize that I’m just some random nerd”
“At least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet”
“I’ve been bullied my whole life”
“Mike’s always whining about it”
“And yet you still have a C in Spanish”
“You can’t even write it Mike”
“You made it super clear that you’re not interested in anything I have to say”
“-and if I said that thing then maybe she’d want me there with her, wherever she is”
“The bad government dudes are after your super-girlfriend right? Right?! Okay, so, maybe the cops can help us find out where she is because they’re gonna kill her, man. And if they kill her, there gonna kill us!”
“Oh, no, no, no, no- it’s a shitty knock off, yeah”
“Who’s that twig with her?”
“That doesn’t mean he’s wrong. I mean, if that guy would’ve lived one more second- one more second- th- we could know where she is. Wh-why didn’t he just say the number? I-I should’ve explained myself, cuz then maybe, Eleven would’ve taken me with her and things would be different but I-I didn’t know what to say”
“And I feel like maybe I-I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something”
“Y’know the last few days, I’ve had to think about the last talk we had. You know, before the cops and the whole word went to shit and everything? I- I guess- I just- I- I dunno- I guess I just wanted to- to say-”
“But… but what if after all of this is over… sh-she doesn’t need me anymore?”
“No I… it’s so stupid, given everything that’s going on. It’s just… I… I don’t know. I just”
“I, love you.”
Mike’s flopping on the floor like a miserable and suffocating fish out of water season. His friends make fun of him. Eddie made fun of his clothes. Karen told Dustin he’s welcome at the Wheeler’s anytime which implies that Mike isn’t really talking to his friends outside of school. Dustin and Mike didn’t know when Lucas’ basketball game was, which implies that they haven’t really been talking to Lucas a lot. Mike did call the Byers but wasn’t able to get through. El and Will are have been in Lenora for months and Mike hasn’t really been able to talk to either of them. El’s been lying to him in her letters and writing and signing letters is a reminder that he’s avoiding writing the word love. Everyone’s telling him that he’s doing something wrong. This kids going through it.
#Mike wheeler#byler#he’s got 0 self esteem#he’s been distancing himself from his friends#he’s got a history of depression/mental illness has a habit of striking back when you least expect it#he’s desperately trying to be normal#but he obviously doesn’t fit in with the freaks and losers like Dustin does#the only place he feels remotely alright being still isn’t right for him#he’s being confronted with not being able to tell el he loves her- and his sexuality#Will doesn’t call him#Nancy still doesn’t like him#and everytime I think about Mike in season four#I think about Will trying to knock some self confidence into him#and also Will looking concerned after Nancy made that comment about Mikes room#like that’s not normal for Mike. None of this is normal for Mike#and yet everyone’s just been like- yep. that’s Mike for you.#Will yelled at him once in episode two#and then picked up on Mike being moody and making comments to push people away#and not talking at breakfast. and then Will cut Mike a lot of slack after that#is Mike making good decisions? Hell no#but I think Will figured out that Mike is just struggling with everything. even if he doesn’t know what everything is.#Mike isn’t okay and that’s a problem because that’s the exact reason that everyone else got Vecna’d and yet they still can’t see it
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Hey, for the record Prismatic b.ell is a big zionist figure on tumblr, and also against palestinian causes, I wouldn't reccomend reblogging from them
thanks for pointing it out 😔 ive got xem blocked now
#theres a callout post ive seen too but im not sure about rbing cos theres not really the full context i feel like?#<-at least IM not aware of all that went on but it seems pretty bad#did visit the blog had a look went. yep. bye#anon#ask#used to be that you could remove additions on a post right??? wish we could still do that
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real talk though; if i could surgically remove the Bruce & Alfred scenes out of Gotham TV and make an entire separate Batman project out of them i would, because they're so distinctly different from the rest of the show and from the common Batman comic narratives, it floors me everytime. If we take the whole show as a body, the heart is placed in Bruce Wayne and it bleeds into his relationships with people, but most importantly with Alfred. It's such stark and exciting constrast to how Batman comics generally portray Bruce Wayne or the Batman persona; Gotham!Bruce is so tender and bare and transparent, heart beating and bleeding so close to his skin, you can see when it taints through his shirt, and his moments of absolute irrational sentimentality are not played cheap or like missteps in a planned protocol rational persona, they're utterly sincere and every emotion he expresses is as integral to his character as his moments of analytical calculation.
#like it's just so incredibly fascinating to me; how different and distinct Gotham TV's approach to Bruce Wayne was#Every Other Tuesday Morning Batman Comic: Batman is a cool and detached guy who is occasionally plagued by 2.5 emotions#that he beats himself up about in private and beats criminals in public about at 3am#and then he doesn't feel emotions for the next 35 years#Gotham TV: Bruce throws Alfred out of Wayne Manor in two separate occasions and then runs back and kisses his shiny shoes and cries#and holds him and kisses his templeand serenades a fucking love letter to him the Waynes' charity gala saying Alfred is the man who made hi#Like. godddd Gotham Alfred and Bruce are so desperate for each other as each other's purpose and meaning#Alfred has wholly dissolved into Bruce's narrative to the point that Bruce fucking kills him and he smiles and accepts and adores Bruce#as Bruce drives a sword right through his heart. like YEP THAT'S SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED!!!!#and the English language doesn't have words for me to describe with the way Alfred soothes and holds the Brainwashed Bruce#as he tries to get him back. the tears and the ''i love you; i love you''s#the same ''i love you''s that Bruce cries by his hospital bed after he slices through him#hashtag never forget how insane Gotham TV was!!!!!#not the most intelligent or well executed Batman media but ohhhhhhh boy; the most tender hearted one indeed!#Gotham TV#Bruce Wayne#Batman
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Liko and Amethio tomorrow..!
#both nervous and excited tbh ww#i feel like whatever will happen i'm going to have to readjust my interpretations a lot..#and look at past events to shed a new light on them. and possibly interpret them in new ways#maybe some of my thoughts will finally click into place too#so much is at stake.. all my stray thoughts since the first hz poster dropped back in early march 2023#and we didn't even know amethio's name yet#and i looked at both liko and amethio and went like. yep. i know what they want to do story wise here#so far my early hunch about them was right.. and they went beyond my expectations too#so what shift will occur tomorrow...#i have some thoughts but. i'll wait for the ep#last thing i wonder.. is it too early for amethio to be on a first name basis with liko#i'll focus on that. and see how he'll address her etc#hz065#episode notes#character notes#liko and amethio
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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hey guys i use twitter constantly my user is devotedVampire (or dashingVampire depending if i change it?) but hey can we not do this???😭😭 harassing me in my strawpage too over an old friendship is insane.
thanks for listening to my awesome PSA on my tumblr i never use
#i don't use this acc anymore#but also like#can we not send me this at all#genuinely shitty thing to do and also i dont really care about this anymore#i had a feeling a certain someone was sending me this so i checked my tumblr for the fuck of it and yep im right#so either way can we not#thanks
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I did say was done talking about it but just wanna reply to the anon who sent me the long ask, I agree with everything you said like that’s EXACTLY how I feel and my best advice as im handling it too, is to just block accounts/pages whatever is causing those feelings or popping up, and if you find yourself thinking about it, or wanting to go check things, try to redirect yourself to smth positive!
#positive stuff in the fandom or outside of it#and a break although may not wanna do one it can be helpful!#im really excited for all his upcoming stuff too and I really enjoy the space here so I don’t want to just leave that right now#and#cause my problem really is the self control of going to check both out of curiosity and probably just torturing myself lmao#but again im feeling everything you’re feeling#also you put it so perfect about how not a bad person but A MAN#yep😭#but I feel the same way about invading privacy and there was the one thing that happened that I feel guilty over still which then again was#pressured but#that’s another thing dnxndndn#also anon feel free to message me privately if you ever want to because I literally am not joking when I say I feel exactly what you feel#kit talks
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#this is absolutely stupid and it makes me mad#but i was actually doing pretty well feeling good about myself and my looks & such#with how i’d lost like 2 inches off everywhere since the last time i measured#but since i found out i still weigh 193? yep right back to horrible#and i know#i /know/ i don’t look any different#but i just feel so bulky and big and ugly#like always i guess.#i’m so tired of this i haven’t words.
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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but um anyway. i am trying to not apologise for yapping. um. i need to sleep. good nighty
#i love thinking abt how my character feels about. other characters... i should answer princes asks soon...#it just takes a lot of writing. as we all know. due to my diseases.#& my right wrist has been hurting. bc i hurt it. i hurt it while cleaning my desk. yep.
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Hannibal (the TV series) seasons in one sentence:
Season 1: The least amount of police procedural you will ever see in a police procedural.
Season 2: Reins are off now, fuckers, let's do some goddamn character work!
Season 3: Wherein the first half is Hannibal writing fanfiction and the second half has completely new main characters.
#geeky talks#geeky talks hannibal#this just popped into my head#this was a very good series but it is a wild fucking ride#various notes about my sentences#season 1's sentence is because the writer of show didn't want to do a police procedural#it is absolutely hilarious to watch with that in mind#because you can watch as he does less and less of it each episode#season 2 is absolutely the best season because he finally got to do what he wanted which was character work#if you don't like character work you're going to fucking *hate* season 2#there's probably a decent chance you won't like the ending of season 1 either#season 3 is fucking wild#it wasn't necessarily bad but it definitely wasn't what i'd call anywhere near the standards of the second season#but geeky what do you mean by hannibal writes fanfiction#listen this is impossible to explain unless you've seen the third season#but i feel like if you've watched the third season you're just nodding your head right now all#yep that sounds about right#the last half of season 3 is honestly pretty disappointing#hannibal and will are just basically not in it#it's such a bizarre choice for a last season of a tv show where the entire show was based around hannibal and will#i can't remember if i read this somewhere or if it's just speculation (which i feel is supported by the season)#but the writer really wanted to do red dragon and just ran out of time#so instead of just shrugging and saying ah well and writing something else#he felt the need to jam the entire book in the second half of season 3#so it's all about the characters from red dragon and will and hannibal are also there sometimes#did really love the actual ending of the show though
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some people were really not experiencing a painful but ultimately cathartic period of early adulthood growing up and letting go in the year 2015 and crying in their cars over jet pack blues and tkaa and favorite record and fourth of july and it shows.
REAL
so much of abap is about memory and wanting to remember and wanting to forget and wanting to be remembered and wrestling with the knowledge you will be forgotten and wanting to move on and be free but also everything is rushing bullet fast towards its ending and you cant stop it you can only hold on to the people around you and hope they’ll sit with you in the car when the world ends but they wont because they forgot you (or you forgot them). but not all of them. some of them are holding onto you too.
and idk some people didnt experience that i guess. or they just never listened to the lyrics properly and never thought about the songs or dismissed it outright because a couple songs got “overplayed” and that’s so fucking sad because this album is a MASTERPIECE and it means so much to so many people.
#you are . so fucking right yep yeah that was 100% how it went for me too <3#i have Lots of feelings about abap and they are neverending#askbox
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