#<-at least IM not aware of all that went on but it seems pretty bad

[lokh]

Hey, for the record Prismatic b.ell is a big zionist figure on tumblr, and also against palestinian causes, I wouldn't reccomend reblogging from them

thanks for pointing it out 😔 ive got xem blocked now

[yok00k]

truth or dare

pairing: hellokittylover/coquette!oc x boxer!jk

genre: angst, fluff

‧₊˚🎧⊹♡— are you playing? truth or dare

synopsis: rumor has it that jungkook is entertaining other girl(s)

word count: 3.3k

warnings: angsty, oc got: attachment issues, daddy issues [like the author], etc. oc is also kinda dumb (and broken) but she’s figuring shit out, lowkey she’s that bitch, jealous!oc, side characters were kinda introduced, mention of jk making out w/ another girl, jk’s character is complex: one sec he’s a playboy and another sec he’s down bad for oc?, open ending, unedited

a/n: this took place when jk and oc were in 2 month situationship and still getting to know one another! so their boundary wasn’t clear..

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

Everything seems to be a dream as soon as you wake up on another glorious day.

you’ve never felt so energized like this before. it’s a little strange to say but, you even feel like you’ve been reborn for some unknown reason. maybe today is going to be a good day for you.

well let’s see.. you’re off from work plus you basically got nothing to do other than clean your room a little for a little bit and to just chill around!

one of the first things you do as soon as you wake up is stare at your phone, particularly to see if jungkook has sent you a message yet as he always never fails to not. a simple yet sweet “good morning pretty :)” and “did my baby girl sleep well?” can add a bright color to your day. it shows that he cares and that he’s thinking about you too.

the anticipated message from your comfort person unexpectedly did not pop out in your notification. it kind of threw you off. jungkook never misses sending you at least one message, precisely at 8:30 every morning. even in the mornings where he had a boxing match the night before. today is indeed such a strange day.

you’re in no position to be sad just because he didn’t message you. in fact, you’re not, you’re just surprised, or so you think. at the same time, you shouldn’t be in shock owing to the fact that there’s no label between you and jungkook. indeed there’s something going on with you and him, whatever that would be except for being girlfriend and boyfriend.

you often ask yourself where you two stand. for you, it’s indistinct to identify what you are to him. all you know is that he is someone special to you. jungkook makes you feel like you’re the prettiest girl in the whole universe every time he’s around you. it’s the way he articulates his words when speaking to you. you can’t explain it.

you’re more than aware that you’re growing emotional attachment to him. getting used to his affection and now that you didn’t receive a message from him to start off your day, it dismays you. although you’re not sure if there's a hidden motive beyond those gut feeling, you choose to ignore it and start typing on your keyboard.

good morning my ggukie!!

r u free today?? kinda wanna hang out with you >o<

delivered | 9:01 am

since you didn’t establish any kind of plan that you’ll be doing today, you’re thinking of inviting him over. you have lots of things to show him, things you purchased when you went shopping with your best friend who also happens to lives next door, Yun-jin

speaking of her before you even forget, you have to call and ask her how her night went from clubbing last night. she initially invited and forced you to go. but your thousands of homeworks and seventy other things on your checklist didn’t permit you to go. partying is always fun, especially with her, but you have to stay focused on your priorities.

you find her inbox off your message app, the first thing you saw was her latest message from this morning

im aliveeeeeeebwwkwwjhskw

sent at 3:33 am

it made you chuckle lightly. she’s completely wasted. there’s no point of calling her as she’s probably still down. so, you decided to pull up to her apartment, bring a few painkillers with you. you’ll bet seven grand that her hangover is going to be so bad.

opening the door using the key she gave you, you spot her laying on the cream and fluffy rug in her cozy white themed living room. you quickly make your way towards her.

“yunny wake up” you said, gently rubbing her back. “i brought you some painkillers, take them quickly” handling her a couple of pain relievers.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

you’re currently searching for breakfast in her mini fridge, something yun-jin can eat so she’ll feel better. your poor friend is a complete mess as she lazily walks toward the counter in front of you.

“last night was so fun, you should’ve come,” she murmurs, hopping on the bar stool as she watches you cook her breakfast. “Jaeyun won’t stop asking me about you.”

oh you almost forget about him. Jaeyun is Yun-jin’s childhood friend who has a huge interest in you. well that’s what Yun-jin has told you, but you swore to her that you won’t tell him that you know. back in your senior year of high school, you mostly have the same classes as him. oftentimes you two hang out and study together in a local cafe. you enjoy his company a lot, but only as friends. just when you and Jungkook started talking, your friendship with Jaeyun unintentionally grew apart. you lowkey miss hanging out with him. anyways, you take a mental note to check up on him later.

yun-jin tells you more about what you’ve missed. most of them are about the hot guys that she encountered in the night club. that’s not new to you because she’s always out there looking out for hotties.

“oh i forgot to tell you, you remember Blythe? she’s wildin’ last night too” of course, how could you forget about the girl who spreads malicious rumors about you? you genuinely don’t know what’s up with her as she constantly talks shit about you though you never know her personally. to you, she’s just a friend of a friend and some type of hater. indeed, it’s a one- sided beef. she is also known for making out with multiple guys and god knows what at every party she’s in.

“my god, who was her target last night??” you interestedly asked. you and yun-jin have a silly habit of keeping track of her targets. you two soon discover that she goes for the basketball players and athletic guys in general.

“I don't think we’ve seen the guy in a club before but I’ve heard he does underground boxing.” she said as her eyes glanced to her left, trying to recollect her memory. Jungkook might be familiar with the mysterious man. he could be either in his circle or one of his opponents.

you just hum, you expected she’ll go for another basketball player. you guess she’s trying something new.

“but girl, let me tell you. the boxer guy looked so drunk and she was dry humping on him like a damn get a fucking room bro” she adds more details on the tea, while pretending to cry as she covers her eyes.

“wait was the guy totally intoxicated ?” you ask as cracking the eggs on the hot pan.

“No, he was still responding back to her, running his hands around her body and stuff.” you’re glad you didn’t see that yourself, or else you’ll cringe. your friend giving you a summary of how the night went is enough. still, it’s entertaining. for a while.

“let me see if she posted something on her IG” yun-jin utters, pulling out her phone from her pocket.

she taps on her screen multiple times, and finally she finds a story that the girl posted. “look, she posted this”

and with that, yun-jin faces the phone your way. you take a glance on her screen, showing you a low exposure photo of the girl sitting on the uknown guy’s lap. her face is showing while his face wasn't captured. the blurry image seems normal. until your eyes examine the familiar tatted arm that’s wrapped around the girl’s torso. you swear you’ve seen those tattoos before. it takes you a while to recognize the ink into the deep layer of their skin.

then it hits you— those not-so-foreign tattoos belong to jungkook, your jungkook.

oh. your heart suddenly drops.

your eyes lock with the phone screen surface longer than the usual, by which makes your friend frown.

“hey, what’s wrong?” Yun-jin concernedly ask

maybe that’s why he hasn’t texted you yet. maybe he slept wit—

“y/n? you ok?” your friend calls for you again, interrupting your thoughts, though they didn’t fully vanish.

shifting your eyes to her, you blink rapidly “yeah, i’m completely ok,” swallowing your lies away. you can feel your eyes watering, and you don't want your friend to see you break down.

after cooking her breakfast, you decided to head back. “I forgot that I have something to do, I’ll go now” you rapidly put your shoes on

‘she’s not eating this breakfast with me?’ Yun-jin thinks as she watches you leave her apartment.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

As soon as you get back to your apartment, you walk towards your bedroom. immediately, you throw yourself on the bed.

“I’m so stupid” you groan as you kick the baby pink multi layer bedsheets on your bed.

and once again, you can’t explain this bothersome feeling. anger? feeling betrayed? jealousy? sadness? all of the above?

you can’t understand. no, you’re trying to understand in the midst of confusion.

you really like him, you really do. and he says he likes you too. he even confessed his feelings to you first! since then, it was safe to assume that you two will establish a label soon. you were so sure of it, until now.

how.. how come he’s with another woman?

the more you think about, the more you feel the sting in your heart. the unpleasant emotion is spreading inside your system, it’s urging you to throw up. you find yourself removing dead skin out of your cuticle using your thumbnail, a habit which you only do to relieve anxiety.

you have so many questions that need to be answered. were the feelings he felt about you real? or was he just playing you? or did he just forget that you exist in his life last night? or did he just lose interest in you? these questions bring out your inner conflicts. so many questions you’re afraid to know the real answers of.

just before the skin next to your cuticle bleeds, your focus shifts to the triple loud ping coming from your phone. Of course, those messages belong to the one person who you least likely want to face right now.

morning pretty

sorry just woke up, having a severe hangover rn

still down to hang out? I can pull up a little later

sent at 11:59 am

his text confirms your suspicion, proving that he was drinking heavily last night. you can’t stand seeing him today. you will just cancel your initial plan and make up some lame excuse.

nvm, we can just hang out another time.

no, erase that. you’ll avoid him from now on, there won’t be another time!

nvm, I feel sick. please don’t come over.

seen at 12:00 pm

my poor baby, i’ll take care of u

sent | 12:01 pm

no need, thanks tho

delivered | 12:01 pm

not being in the mood to keep talking to him, you send the last message before putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ mode. leaving jungkook’s messages unseen

considering that your day has been ruined, you choose to shut down the world and take a long nap.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

on the other hand, jungkook definitely notices how cold you turned out to be. maybe it's the time of the month for you. thus, today his mission is to grab things you typically crave for: brown sugar milk tea, some sweet pastries from your favorite bakery shop, and finally, the icing to add on top, a bouquet of white roses.

jungkook usually pampers you with a bunch of food and affection. that’s why he pays attention and takes mental notes (or even notes on his phone) of tiny details about you. it satisfies him to see you all spoiled.

that’s the reason why he jumps out of his messy bed and initiates to get ready. starting off his usual morning routine by taking a cold shower. not much time after, he applies his skincare.

Jungkook hears loud chatters of two men talking from his living room as he walks out of his bedroom. he opens the door and perceives his hyungs chilling by his couch.

“yah jungkook, that chick you brought from last night was way out of control” Jimin complains as soon as jungkook enters the living room.

“yeah kook, kicking her out at 3 in the morning wasn’t a good idea. she’s loud as hell and I had to deal with one of your neighbors' complaints again” Taehyung, who was their designated driver, added annoyingly.

“whose chick?” jungkook confusedly asks.

“yours” both of his hyungs exclaim in unison, which the youngest responds with a shrug.

to be honest, Jungkook doesn’t remember shit from last night. he can recollect some memories, but not a whole bunch. drinks. yes, he drank a lot. there was this girl he randomly made out with, however he can’t remember her name or what she looks like. not that she’s relevant to him anyways.

jungkook chooses to not care about the insignificance, he could spend his time better than that. and by the word better, he spends time thinking about you.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

the constant sound from your doorbell that’s been ringing for who-knows-how-long wakes you up from your wonderful nap.

you gently rubbing your eyes, then you tap the screen of your cellular to see the time; 3:59 pm.

shit, how long were you out for? no idea. you look at your window and see the raindrops rolling down the glass. it was just sunny before you drifted to sleep a few hours ago.

down below to your screen, you notice jungkook messages and a few missed calls from earlier and just now.

7 missed calls from 🐰

55 mins ago

I’ll stay for the night so I can take care of you

delivered | 12:03 pm

just grabbing few things for my baby and I’ll be there soon.

delivered | 12:30 pm

it’s raining heavily and now I’m stuck in traffic

delivered | 1:01 pm

I’m here!

delivered | 1:44 pm

baby? are you home? I'm here

delivered | 1:51 pm

don’t know where u at but I’ll be here waiting at your front door :(

delivered | 1:56 pm

after reading his texts, you rush to the door. there’s no way that man will wait for those hours outside your front doo-

indeed, he’s in front of your door, waiting for you to open up to him as he’s sitting on the ground. besides him, a couple of light brown paper bags, his backpack, and a bouquet of flowers are also laying on the cold cement.

“hi my pretty!” he cheerfully greeted you, rushing to get up from the ground. jungkook walks up to you with a smile full of relief and happiness as if he wasn’t wasting his time for two hours waiting for you right there.

you attempt to avoid his gaze, your eyes examine his black long sleeve that really fits him nice and is damp.

“come in, you should change your clothes.” you mutter coldy

it’s inevitable to not be concerned that he got wet from the rain. Even if you don’t wanna let him in, it will guilt you if he gets ill.

jungkook does what he was told, gathering all the stuff he brings with him and steps into your flat. he feels the strange coldness as soon as he lands his eyes on yours. something isn’t right. something is wrong with you.

He settles his things by your couch and changes into a new oversized t-shirt in front of you. after changing, he reaches for the paper bags to show you the things he got.

“look baby, I got you your favorite drink, some pastries, i know how much you lov-”

“thank you, but you shouldn’t have. I told you to not come” your stern voice cuts him off before he finishes his sentence. you’re trying to keep your cool. your tone is full of nothing but seriousness. not a hint of sweetness in them, which makes jungkook tilt his head on the side, confused by your odd attitude.

“but baby, I just wanted to be here to take care of you.” he insists. by all means, he won’t listen to what you say.

“I hate when you do this” you sigh

“did i do something wrong? are you mad at me?” he attempts to reach you, but you’re too quick to avoid his touch. “tell me what’s wrong baby, please” Jungkook added once more. he doesn’t understand why you avoid him.

“do you treat your other girls like this too?” you ask, eyes shooting lasers at his. an anger rushes through you as the thoughts of him spoiling girls other than you.

“my pretty, what are you talking about?” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, looking down closely to you. where are you getting these notions from?

“my friend saw you last night”

it took him a couple seconds to remember

“listen to me baby, whoever I was with, she meant nothing” Jungkook defends himself quickly, reaching for your hand, trying to reassure you that she’s insignificant.

it’s not working.

“I just wish you could’ve told me we weren’t exclusive.” you said wipe a tear from your upper cheek before it could roll down further.

“or maybe I was just dumb to assume we were since you initially told me you liked me, I'm sorry, I don’t really know how this whole thing works” you dryly chuckle, honestly admitting to him that you’ve never been in this type of complicated situation before. now you feel like a fool, getting mad at him for something you can’t hold against him.

jungkook shakes his head, reaching for you one more time, placing his gentle on the side of your face, caressing it. you did nothing as you stood still.

“no, i’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I do like you. I still do and that won’t change. I was just so drunk last night and could barely remember what happened. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

but somewhere deep down is telling you that he’s only sorry because he got caught.

“you’re free to do whatever you want, Jungkook. I don’t think we’re on the same page so it will be best if we don’t see each other anymore” you articulate as best as you could.

you don’t want to let him go, due to the fact that you’re growing so much feelings towards him. it’s almost as if you’re enamored. but that’s also the same reason why you must let him go. you must, or you’ll get hurt deeper.

“y/n, please don’t say that”

“No, you know how much I like you. you know how much I value you. yet in return, I feel like I’m just a plaything to you that you can play with whenever you want.”

“that’s not true baby, you know that” Jungkook protests, shaking his head. the main problem is you don't. you absolutely have no idea of his motives for pursuing you. is he doing it because he's falling for you too? or he's just playing one of those games. those dangerous games you won't involve yourself with.

he’s looking for words to proves you that his feelings were genuine, but fails to. maybe because he never knows how to show his real feelings. or maybe he was never genuine to start with.

"I'm not one of your playthings. so just— ” you pause, shifting your eyes on the ground. “go away"

Jungkook locks his gaze to you, hoping you will look back at him and take back what you said. but he can read you face and make it seem like he’s not welcome there anymore.

without any words, he leaves, leaving you accompanied with melancholy.

series m.list

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

I love your writing am and i always seem to go back to your sally face fic and i would love something similar to that but with sally and i would love to see if you could incorporate substance use (ex. weed) not to a dangerous extent but almost seen as inviting. with ftm reader again! ofcs you can take this request and do what you like with it!! i just love your writing sm and i want to see more sally face content:)

❝ If you think I’m pretty put your hands on me, know I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout it ❞

Sal Fisher x ftm!reader | fluffy, NSFW, slight angst | reader has had top-surgery & bottom growth | vers. bttm. reader | NOT PROOFREAD + written on phone | wc: 4K

warnings: recreational use of marijuana, some guilt from Sal because he vowed not to smoke as a child but r! reassures him, Sal mentions painkiller addictions, mentions of hospitals and wounds, mentions of scarring, shotgun kisses, handjobs, fingering, AFAB terminology (clit referred to as dick/cock)

masterlist ; "I was the boy who was on your side"

authors note: I FORGOT TO FILL THIS UHM UHHH IM BACK?

*song on repeat: Romeo by Until The Ribbon Breaks

He's been drumming his fingers across his knees for a full 20 minutes now. A never-ending symphony of thumps occasionally disturbed by pauses of silence as he picked at the ripped edges of his jeans. You suppose you understand the anxiety that was racking through him, despite the reassurances you'd given him, he was bound to have some second thoughts. "Hey, baby," you tap the steering wheel, an elbow propped onto your window sill panel. Despite your eyes being glued on the road, you're acutely aware of his gaze on yours.

"Ya' didn't have to come along if you didn't want to," at your words he shakes his head. "No — Sorry, I didn't mean to come off that way, baby." Sal reaches out and places a hand on your knee, squeezing it just enough to have you decompressing your nerves.

"No, no. I didn't mean to make you feel bad," you clasp his hand and squeeze him back, the road will be fairly emptier now that you've driven past the bridge. "You just look a little nervous is all, I was jokin' 'bout you needing to follow along. I was just teasing you, Sal." "I know. I wanted to spend time with you, (Y/N). Which is why I followed along even though I knew you were just fucking with me," he sighs, allowing the song playing on the radio to filter in the silence for a few seconds. "It's just, buying drugs, makes me a liiittle nervous."

A chuckle escapes you and you risk staring at Sal for a bit. "You've dealt with poltergeists and the like, the baloney incident, and buying a little ganja is making you sweat?"

“Shut up,” he groans as he slips his hand up and lands a muted smack on your thighs. “Poltergeists can land me in a psychiatrist's office, this could land us in jail.”

“At least we’ll be together in a small cell,” you coo and Sal rolls his eye with a scoff. “We’re not gonna get caught, ya’ big baby. I’ve done this a thousand times with Larry, Todd, and Ashley — we’ll be fine. Promise.”

It went more than fine. Underwhelming actually. He had expected a more intense, whispered, exchanges with some weirdly firm handshake while the other dude slipped you the weed. He had even lifted the hood of his hoodie up to make the both of you less identifiable. It was adorable.

Your dealer had come down from their apartment. Sal seeing her brightly coloured pink tie-dye sweatpants from the slat of the stairs, and the cheerful wave she gave you once she took notice of your car.

“Was wondering when you’d text. I got your favourite.”

She’s leaned on your rolled-down windows, discretely holding the pink paper bag of weed in front of her chest and bouncing it around. She extends her other hand first, and Sal is silent as you reach for the cash from the cup holder.

In that pause of conversation, she takes notice of him and recognition is crystal clear.

“O-M-G, is that Sal, the boyfriend?” You chuckle while Sal stutters in surprise. Handing her the cash, she graciously exchanges it with the bag.

“Yeah, he’s following along with me running errands.” “Cute,” she coos. After a few pleasantries, she leans away. That small pink paper bag between your legs barely able to distract your boyfriend from her excited wave of goodbye — that you return obviously.

“You talk about me with her?” you glance at him for a second then laugh. “Dude, most of us get our weed from her. She eventually gets to know the side characters in our lives the longer she interacts with us.”

He scoffs, crossing his arm as he leans back in the seat.

“Side characters? Seriously?” “Duh,” you pick the bag up and shake it in his face teasingly. “Everyone knows the main characters participate in drug culture and the side characters don’t.”

“This is the peer pressure my father warned me about.”

You giggled at his joke as you place the bag between your thighs again. This time, Sal’s eyes follows it.

He’s seen you and Larry smoke before. Hell, most of his friends smoke on the back porch while he’ll be mindlessly cleaning up as he waits for all of you to herd back inside. He’s never felt left out, you guys were simply respecting his wishes is all. He wasn’t much of a fan of drinking or smoking. But he wouldn't stop anyone from doing it, as long as no one got too inebriated.

Though, for some reason, he just can’t take his eyes away from that pink bag.

“Mhm, next thing you know, you’ll look like those anti-bullying posters. All the stoners will point and laugh while you have big ole’ sad cat eyes.”

The imagery makes him laugh softly and he glances at your face as the scenery zooms past beside you.

When you reach home, the house is empty. A note was left on the kitchen fridge by Todd, something about him and his boyfriend going on a date.

Just you, Sal and Gizmo.

It makes his palms clammy and his nerves turning up his sensitivity a few notches.

You greeted Gizmo with a few chin scratches. Settling on the living room couch with crossed legs, you open the bag one handedly while you lean over to the catch-all bowl on the coffee table for the lighter and your MP3 player.

All the while, he stands in the kitchen threshold. Like a kid who knows they’ve done something they’re definitely shouldn’t have done — the guilt was just radiating from him. It made you toss your head to the side when you took notice of him, a joint hung loosely between your lips.

“You good, baby?”

He nods, your words setting him into motion as he sits on the couch.

“I’m not gonna smoke inside,” you reassure with a smile. Why else would he stare at you like that, right?

He nods again. Oddly quiet. Gizmo yawns and sinks further down onto the couch, watching the TV show with an almost human-like concentration. Nobody says anything about it anymore. He’s just a little guy, really.

You lean over, joint plucked out and resting between the second knuckle of your pointer and middle finger this time, and give his cheek a kiss.

“See you in a bit.”

He watches like he always does. There’s nothing to clean. It’d be weirder if he attempted to look busy. So he glances at the TV, then at Gizmo and then at your back as you sit down on the porch. He can hear the muffled sounds of you flicking the lighter, and shortly after he sees the white smoke that slithers upwards into the air along with the sounds of your favourite band quietly playing.

You thought you hadn’t closed the sliding doors properly when you hear the approaching footsteps. Turning your head to check, you’re surprised to spot Sal walk through the doors to move and settle next to you.

You cough out some smoke. Attempting to fan it away with your hand while you reach to put out the joint in the ash tray that Ashley had made. But Sal stops you as he knocks your knees together, his thigh pressing against yours as he peers at you.

“Sal?”

“...Say hypothethically, a side character wants to dip his toes in some drug culture." Your eyes widen considerably at his confession.

“Huh?” you squeak out. Sal sighs, regret creeping up on him as he scratches the back of his head. The smell of the weed doesn’t exactly help either — it was so distinct.

“Wait, no, sorry. I’m just, this isn’t because of peer pressure is it?” You did mini-hops, getting close enough to him for your thighs to press together. Yet you still held the clay ash tray an arms length away, especially as you note the sharp inhale and exhale he'd made.

Sal’s deadpanned expression makes your eyebrows jump.

“This was dumb,” He admits. “No — no, it isn’t. I was just caught off-guard. Are you...curious?”

Sal nods sheepishly. You lean back on the heel of your hand, the other still holding onto the tray, your finger mindlessly keeping the still-lit joint perched between your digit and the rim of the tray. You think for a moment, then huff in amusement.

“Damn, you still manage to surprise me even after all these years.”

“You’re making it sound like we’ve been married for 50 years,” he retorts. “We will be, I’m just practicing these phrases out loud so you don’t get heart failure in the future.”

This time, Sal’s shoulders shake as he laughs. It dies down as he sees you take a drag, and breathe out the plumes of smoke. Not directly at him, but in his general direction. The smell isn’t something he’s used to. Not this close anyways. Usually, it’s just stuck on your clothes but you reach for the bottle of Febreze strategically placed near the sliding doors anyway so it's more muted.

It. . .doesn’t completely suck. The earthiness of it making his shoulders less tense. You watch his reaction closely, the corners of your lips in a gentle curve as he leans back onto his hands.

You take another drag and Sal’s enraptured at the way the end of your joint glows bright orange. He feels almost envious of the way you swallow the smoke, how you harbour it within your mouth before it slips past your lips. You’re looking at him, just basking in the moment for a little longer before you ask him to play your favourite songs.

It was just beginning to get dark, the sky was setting up for its finale of the day and he was enraptured as you explain what shotgun kisses were.

"I have smoked a cigarette before," he says, brows furrowed as he unbuckles his prosthetic. "Yeah, and nearly coughed up both of your lungs. This will be smoother for you, trust me."

"So I just inhale what you exhale?" "Mhm, easy as pie, right?"

His placed his prosthetic next to him, turning his head and immediately seeing your face invading his vision. "Hi," he smiled at your attempt to keep your smile at bay by chewing on your lower lip.

"Hi," he replies, his anxiety lessening at the sight of your confidence and giddiness. You bring the joint to your lips. He can hear the paper burning and sees tendrils of smoke escaping through your lips. Your words echoed in his brain as you lean in further.

“Just breathe it in slowly, baby."

He feels the smoke across his face, your lips pouted as you blow it his way. Sal breathes it in, sucking the smoke in just like you’d demonstrated earlier. He coughs like you said he would. His eye-watering as he moves to sit and you carefully pat his back as he does.

“Shit,” your eyes squish at his flustered expression. His first time trying a cigarette playing briefly through your head. Though this time it wasn’t even half-bad.

“You did great. Didn't burn on the way down if you smoked it yourself, right?” he got what you meant. He was coughing but he didn't feel like the back of his throat got thwacked by a whip of burning paper and tobacco. The ride was smoother, way smoother with your help. “It feels like the smell is stuck onto my teeth." Sal only complains to see you look at him with that fond gaze. You took another drag as he smacks his lips a few times. Your eyes flutter close, sighing in relief, and tossing your head to the side as you feel yourself loosening up.

“Why do you think I always brush my teeth before I kiss you?”

Sal protests softly as you take another hit and you laugh as he leans in.

“Isn’t that too much — “

You breathe out and Sal seems stunned for a moment, so you apologize but he simply leans in further.

“If this'll be my first time getting high, I want it to be with you.”

"Slow down, baby," you bumped your foreheads together, cupping his jaw in your hand. "What's the rush, hm?"

Curiousity was a valid enough reason to start smoking, but your Sal wasn't the kind of guy to jump into these things head first. It wasn't anything special to him, all of your friends smoked and drunk. He wasn't some pre-teen being excited to finally "grow up" and get in with the cool kids.

Hell, even during his 21st birthday, he'd taken his first drink and smoked his cigarette and decided that he didn't enjoy any of them.

Sal sighs, dropping his weight on you. His head balanced between the curve of your neck and shoulder. You simply thread your fingers through his hair, combing out the indents of his buckles and straps from his hair.

"You think I can't take it?"

"Oh, I definitely know you can't."

He protests with an indignant but whiny 'hey' but settles. His arms wrap around your waist and despite the uncomfortable angle of your torso facing him while your legs faced ahead as they rested on the stairs, you stay like that for a bit.

He eventually pulls away and leans back onto his arms again, reaching for his prosthetic though only to fidget with it on his lap.

"...Is it bad I feel bad? Not physically, just...morally?"

Your silence urges him on. So he continues; “Drinking fucking sucks, and cigarettes don’t make sense to me. But weed as a concept always seemed...appealing to me.”

He feels your chin on his shoulder and he subtly breathes in the smoke that teases him as you exhale.

“But?”

“Argh, it’s stupid. But as a kid, in the hospital there weren’t a lot of people that got as messed up as I did. But the ones that were? Christ, babe, they were in so much pain. Even when the wounds were already scars.”

Your brows pinch. You squeeze his hand and he stops toying with feeling the shape of the bolts to instead gently press the pads of his thumb over your nails.

“The doctors scared me with the whole speech. Painkillers being addictive and all that, it made me scared to ask for ‘em even when the skin grafts felt like they were on fucking fire.”

He shuts his eyes and brings your hand to his face, the pressure and warmth across his jaw and cheek making the phantom pains ebb to nothing.

“I made a promise to my younger me that I would never end up like the adults I saw. I just, don’t want to be in constant pain.”

“You aren’t, Sal. And you won’t be.”

You put out the joint, turning his face to you and planting a kiss on his lips. He breathes out a sigh of relief through his nose and you tilt your head to deepen it. When you pull away, you both linger in the afterglow of it for a second.

“I’m here for you, Sal. If you ever stray from the path, I’m here to guide you back, right? You’ve got me and Larry, Lisa and your dad, Ashley, Todd, Gizmo —” his smile widens as you go on about the precious people in his life.

“Thanks,” he kisses you again and you happily reciprocate.

“By the way, you’re right, you should always brush your teeth before you kiss me when you’re done smoking up.”

Sal laughs as you shove him back, watching admiringly while you light the joint up again.

“...Can I have another hit?”

“You just said my breath smells like ass —”

“You’re overreacting!”

By the time the two of you walk back inside, Gizmo’s nose is twitching. You hadn’t taken too much too be completely useless, just to start feeling that buzz and take the edge off. Sal had expected more of a droopy, drowsy, feeling when he entered the house.

He still feels like himself. A little light on his feet, but still himself. You had paced him from his little smoke-sucking sessions — teasing that he just wanted to kiss you which wasn’t entirely untrue. But you always pulled away just as his eyes would flutter. Most likely you getting back at home for saying your breath smelled like weed. Little tease.

You spray your clothes down, then ask Sal if he’d like to chill on the couch. Something in his brain perks up hard enough to make his penis do the same. He feels a bit shameful of it, but then again, everything you do could make him hard.

The other day you’d been wolfing down some cheesy fries with Ashley and somehow it made Sal have to think of baloney to shut his penis down.

Gizmo’s tail flicks knowingly as Sal sits at the end of the couch, which was his cue to set off to the basement instead. When Sal hears the TV turns on from there, he simply decides to never question how dexterous Gizmo's thumbs were.

You're laid out on the couch with your tummy showing and your eyes just a bit hazy. He knows weed affects people differently; why does it make his lust for you feel so thick? Like cloying, thick, honey dripping down from the back of his throat. Fuelling him in an unfamiliar, alien, way. He climbs over you and the half-lidded gaze you look up at him with makes his mouth feel drier than it is.

This lust is new. It’s more languid in it’s desire — akin to a beast stretching its back only to flop down to its side and show its belly. Still undeniably dangerous, yet so inviting with its soft underbelly and demure paws.

You seem to recognize this beast, lips stretching into a toothy grin.

“Need something handsome?”

He narrows his eyes at you. Then, he places a hand on your chest, fingers brushing along your collarbones before it slowy slips downwards.

“...I really wanna finger you.”

He seems to catch himself. Through that haze that makes him caught between wanting to curl up next to you for a nap or fucking you nice and slow, he finds the part of him that remembers embarrassment.

But before it could throw away his new lazy bravado, you surge up to kiss him, moaning the second your lips made contact.

Stoned Sal decides pants are way too annoying very quickly on. He huffs and puffs at the obstacles that are called buttons and zippers. When he finally undoes them, he pulls your jeans below the swell of your ass and brings the heel of his hand to your clothed cock.

The pressure has your teeth brushing over your lips.

“I love your dick,” he murmurs, “it’s just s’fuckin’ pretty.”

You moan airily, wishing he’d pull your pants all the way down but he is just too entraced at the sight of the wet spots he’s seeing. He traces the fold of your cunt and your breath hitches as he presses a finger through. Not enough to be inside of you, but enough to have your dick twitch.

He brings his thumb to rub against it and you groan.

“Let me take my jeans off, Christ, Sal.”

He chuckles, suddenly abandoning your pussy to pin your hips down. “Barely touched you and you already wanna spread your legs f’me?”

You glare at him, feeling your cheeks heat up as you hitch yourself up onto the couch and stubbornly shimmying out of your pants. He simply watches, uncaring of the less-than-delicate display. You toss your jean away and your underwear follows along, piling onto the floor somewhere.

“The weed is making you so chatty, hm?” you don’t get much out of you after that as Sal immediately claims your lips again. He doesn’t even wait for you to lay back down as he brings his hand between your legs.

Not exactly hasty but not taking his time either. He pulls away enough that the spit between your lips break, but you can still feel him groan when he feels the dewdrops of moisture on your cunt; the slick that coats his finger makes him whisper your name.

“So wet,” he marvels. Your legs twitch at his movements. Sliding up and down, pressing in just to make your breath hitch but never fully slipping inside.

Oh fuck.

Stoned Sal likes to tease.

Your dread is shortlived as he descends his kisses to your neck. You groan, clutching onto the back of his shirt as he mottles your neck with unapologetically languid kisses.

You’re whimpering underneath him as he hums and groans. Using his teeth and making hickey after hickey, dark and tender — he’d even brush his teeth along them just to hear you gasp.

Meanwhile, he continues to torture your poor cunt. Bringing his thumb into the fray again as he rubs circles on the tip of your cock. The tip of his fingers spreading your slick around your lips, making it messier and messier.

“Sal, please just fuckin’ finger me already,” you whine out. Turning your head away and arching your back as he sets his eyes on your nipples.

“I’m already — Shit, Sal. I’m already so hard.”

He knows. You don’t have to remind him.

“Don’t make me beg, baby, please.”

Sal bites down on your nipple just as he pushes his finger inside of you. He groans at the feeling of your boypussy clamping down. Fuck, you felt good.

So soft and warm and wet and tight.

He slips another finger in and neither of you are surprised at how eagerly your cunt lets it in.

Sal’s lips pause in their conquest as he looks down between your legs. Fuck, what a sight it was. The happy trail you have that always makes his cock jump in his pants — there it goes again — and that beautiful dick that he always loves choking on to that boypussy that he’s convinced is made for him.

He starts pumping his fingers. In and out in a steady rhythm. Adoring every noise that comes out of you. You take them well, all the way down to the base and when he angles his palm just right your hips buck to grind your cock against his hand.

Fuck, you were perfect.

He kisses you. Breathing through his nose as he bites down on your already swollen lower lip — relishing in this. In you.

He adds another finger and you mewl. It makes him laugh.

You were usually much more headstrong. When he teases, you tease back. The weed is working in his favour, you were so pliant. Melting under him and already close to your first orgasm.

When he curls his fingers, you toss your head back, mouth opening in a silent scream. Your hand dives between your legs to rub your cock and Sal watches your face as you jeek yourself off.

“Just like that, just like that — Oh, oh—ah! Fuck!”

He doesn’t falter his pace, moaning out curses as you clamp down around his fingers.

“Come on, baby. Cum for me, cum for me.”

His voice undoes you.

You buck your hips as wetness covers his hand. He groans, praising you as he continues to pump in and out. You let him, simply curling your toes and panting as you just kept on cumming and cumming.

When he kisses you this time, he doesn’t even let you breathe. Just swallowing your noises as he finger-fucks you through your orgasm and makes you barrel to your second with no breaks.

You clutch at his shirt, feeling lightheaded but unwilling to ask him to stop.

“Keep going, Sal. Please, please.”

How could he say no?

[apricotmayonaise]

i wasn't sexually harassed by @/musashi, ya'll are just playing the telephone game.

hi, im slushy, i'm 15 and a half years old, i keep hearing these bullshit rumours about my friend wendy, or musashi, as is their tumblr url. i'm here to go on the record to say, that did not fucking happen. unfortunately, since i got banned in the server this went down in. (ha ha. how ironic.) might be tricky but i do have, like, 10 people who can back me up on this.

so, a rundown of events. me, wendy, and a few other people are in a vc. i post a poll about what i should go as for halloween. the options are pretty skimpy but hey, i'm fifteen, going on sixteen years old. i'm nearly an adult and by the time halloween rolls around i'll be old enough to work, drive, and fuck. i'm a teenager, not a toddler.

a couple server members, i think it was around five, voted on this poll. the mods, specifically the owner, got mad at wendy specifically. they said wendy was sexualising me. wendy was obviously like "no, when i look at a teenager in a halloween costume i see a teenager in a halloween costume. slushy's 13 years my junior, im not a weirdo."

the owner proceeded to get mad at wendy and then told me i should dress up as jesus? which is an odd thing to say. it was less of lingerie and more like a bikini. which gives me a feeling that the people getting mad are the type to sexualise teenagers at the beach.

anyway, wendy, with no warning, got banned for this. the mods said they gave plenty of warning but in those "warnings" they seemed to just be making friendly requests, not mod-ly orders.

the whole claim of wendy "offering to buy" me anything is also completely and utterly false. that didnt happen dawg

anyway, i was confused, angry, and upset about this. wendy was also very upset.

anyway, you know who i was groomed by?? someone else on the server who all the mods continue to reblog from and interact with. they know she's a groomer. i've told them. wendy's told them. at least five other people have expressed concern or disgust at this person's behaviour, and yet they continue to talk to the groomer.

i also want to add that i was completely and utterly spoken over. every time i said "wendy wasnt weird or creepy!" they didn't listen to me because i'm just a minorrrr. i'm just a little girl who obviously can't think for herselffffffff.

as for wendy being a "pedo apologist", i think this just refers to wendy...not being an antishipper? god forbid wendy, a grown ass 28 year old adult with adult responsibilities not get into internet discourse? also i find it pretty gross how we put "actual fucking child predators" and "people who don't care about online drama surrounding made up ships" on the same level of bad. one is something i can scroll past or block the tag of. the other caused me trauma, pain, and having grown up way too fast. fictional characters can't experience pain or tragedy in the same way real children and teenagers can.

this post is in regards to this anon message:

you are a bunch of sick people who don't care about real child abuse. you ignore groomers and let them fly under the radar to target people who you, personally, don't agree with. you're making a real victim into a false victim, and at the time of the incident it was sexual assault survivor's awareness month.

if you're going to call someone a victim, at least fucking listen to them. a real groomer is out there living her life while my friend lost a big amount of friends due to false allegations.

[ganondoodle]

i kinda want to read books again, i havent read any in .. more years than i know to remember but idk how to find anything i like, especially these days (i dont read fanfiction either .. , i tried a few times but it never really caught me q-q)

even when i was young i was somewhat picky (though there are plenty books im sure i finished but just .. dont remember) the last series i think i read was skullduggery pleasant (as i said, its been many years) but dropped it after it got a little 'weird' (in like .. i guess the shonen powerscaling problem, at least thats how it felt back then) and the annoying love interest boy that was seemingly only introduced so protag girl could do what normal girls do tm (i know theres many more books in the series so idk if hes actually more than that but eugh)

funnily enough i only seem to remember the books i loved so much i kept rereading them (the bartimäus trio, though i loved the forth prequel more than the others .. still sad i lost my copy of it in school) or the ones i stopped reading bc something completely threw me out of it-

there was one i literally only remember it was a protagonist (teen?) girl (is that a general common thing for the fantasy genre?) and she was travelling via a ship in that scene, idk if it was a flying one but something was different magical tm i think; and left it or ran away or so and sought shelter from the rain at some point and annoying boy caught up to her and they uuh .. started making out of nowhere?? (im sorry i literally only remember i felt rly uncomfortable and awkward, didnt like the boy, thought they had zero chemistry/felt forced AND i did NOT see it coming, like at all, maybe its my aro/ace/autism .. ness (that i wasnt aware of except being def different for most of my life, haha fun.) but i rememebr feeling like i got flashbanged by what i read, the only actual sentence i (think i) remember was "she felt the weight of his hips shifting onto hers" bc it weirded me out so much and i might just have stopped reading it at that point and never looked back lmao)

another one was one with a setting of having dragons and they were used like horses, also feathered! (though the cover picture, i think, was a big dragon eye surrounded by scales, pretty sure it annoyed me constantly but i might missremember, again its been so long and i went through things my brain wishes it could unlive) and the protagonist worked at a stable or soemthing (also girl? idk), last thing i remember was that all dragons started to go mad and kill themselves .. idk if i read any further

(honorable mention to uuh .. dämonenzeit (demon time), was a demon protagonist and it was a little brutal for my taste but when do you get a demon as the main guy, apparently there were two entries and i only read the first one, also lost that copy- Xarors (an OC of mine) first designs were based on the cover of that book and the thing the band 'disturbed' tended to use (the hooded guy with red glowing eyes) i was very original)

maybe all those were super well known ones and i just never knew (grew up without/extremely limited internet and tech in general after all.... the only one i knew was popular and also read all of it and had all parts .. was a certain bad wizard series that should not still be so popular *watches in horror as my niece gets into it and wants nothing but merch for it*) or really bad peepoo baby books, im possibly confusing or mixing some things bc i read quite a few ones with dragons and similar themes, but thats just what i remember/remember feeling like

(maybe i should see if i still have them somewhere and see how much is true of any of this .... though a part of me also doesnt want to)

[colourful-void]

alright closing umineko for the night!! i had a great time with it so far!! i really like the writing style, and for the most part its actually a lot less dense than i was expecting. I thought it might be some house of leaves stuff but no this is pretty easy to read, at least so far! im rlly glad for that like it doesn't feel too simple, not too complicated, its good!

current character thoughts run down, though i've barely started so i dont know much yet: ginzo: he sucks he totally sucks and im convinced that he made some kidna deal w/ beatrice in order to take advantage of the earthquake and war and such. not entirely convinced hes not about to just murder the whole family bcs he seems like he would do that. krauss: also sucks. just a real dick, but in like. he's a standard asshole really. natsuhi: much in the same vien, but she's got that matriach of the family thing going on i hope will b explored more <3 jessica: she's neat i like her! looking forward to more on her. Eva: i was digging for her a while and then i saw how she treated shannon and it went out the window hideyoshi: ive yet to expirence a thought on this man George: he's very tropey in a good way and i enjoy he's friendly guy swag. looking forward to it inevitably falling to pieces rudolf: DICK!! kyrie: girl leave your husband. i can treat u better <3, im glad she has some decency but my mind aint set on her yet battler: HES SO CRINGEEEE <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 sometimes he does genuinely offput me but mostly he's just stupid <3 rosa: be a bit nicer to ur daughter, but beyond that shes chill i think. no big thoughts here. i do like her dynamic in relation to the rest of the siblings so far maria: MARIA MY DARLING MY DEAREST SHES SO SWEET AND SILLY AND CLEARLY OMINOUS I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT DARK MAGICS OVERTAKE HER OR WHATEVER <333 maria for whatever the fuck she wants 2024 love her so much no crazy thoughts on the head butler or doctor but i think in a different world the butler and ginzo had crazy gay sex shannon: shes soooo sweetie <3 suspiciously so this game wants me to like her so bad and i do <3. i am aware of one key spoilery fact about shannon uncovered in some content warnings i recieved, but its kinda fun seeing the set up for that! everyone be nicer to my girl kanon: hes suspcious but overly so and i wonder what his deal is. i also think all the servants need to be treated better this fucking furnature stuff <3 its awful i love it narratively gohda: i think he would kill someone with very little hesitation. i wanna try that panna cotta. kumasawa: shes like a grandma to me <333 i like her!!

i havent met beatrice yet but im looking forward to it she looks super neat.

i also apperciate how slow burn this is, a few hours in and very little has happened yet it's nice. there's already a lot building but like. nothing big yet it's nice. i like it. it feels like it's moving at exactly the pace it wants to and i enjoy it a lot. the sound design is also rlly good. the music is really nice a couple times i got distracted and just listened to it in the bg. the sfx r nice too.

i do not regret my sprite choice i like these designs they're fun, but i do think maria looks a little off for her alleged age of 9, but it's easy to ignore after a min or two.ironically when i was loading the game and saw her on the steam page it def aligned better, but at the cost battler to my eyes is now yassified. he cant be a pretty boy to me he's too lame.

voice acting is great everyones putting fucking everyting into it and i enjoy that. fully commited to the enviroment and its great.

where i left off: everyone just finished having lunch! kumasawa covered for shannon not knowing the red sauce's ingredients. that's all for now! not sure when ill paly more, probably tomorrow, but its been good!! good game so far i like this setg up!! im also eagar to get more into the murder and violence and witch stuff but like, it does a good joib of setting up the characters so i dont feel impatient, and unlike a lot of games w/ murder n mystery that get right into it i kinda find it refreshing how slow this one is to start its like we all know itll get there so the tension of everyone being relatively calm is great.

anyway, umineko day 1: it was good =D

[reluctanttrabbit]

oughh pls ramble to me abt your headcanons or story about pre sb vanessa!!!!

GUAHHHH VANESSA!!! I'LL TAKE ANY EXCUSE TO RAMBLE ABOUT MY GIRLIE<333 im still figuring out a lot of her backstory right now But. heres what i have at the moment

sooooo basically nessa's family is her, her mom, dad and older brother ages 1-8 shes unbothered. happy. in her lane. flourishing.

their mom used to be a BIG freddys fan and so that kinda carried over to ness and her brother its DEFINITELY their hyperfixation i make the rules.

everythings pretty good until around 8-9 her parents seem to be having fights here and there. not too bad, it happens

then they fight more. sometimes it gets physical.

then suddenly her father tells her that they're getting a divorce.

vanessa and her brother are forced to lie in court, and we all know how this goes ☹️☹️☹️

vanessa and her brother have a 7 year age difference so he moves out when vanessa is 10 and leaving her stuck with her dad. they make sure to keep in touch but ness just wishes he'd come home and keep him safe from their dad

as she gets older she starts rebelling more by dying n cutting her hair, staying out later, etc etc and at 16 she fully runs away and steals her dad's crusty pick-up truck (HELL YEAH NESS ‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅)

she lives with her brother now, who for the last 5-ish years had been developing fazbear frights (her brother is phone dude!!) and she gets to help out with the attraction!! until it um. burns down. i wonder who did that

vanessa eventually saves up enough to move out and gets a job as a beta tester for fazbear entertainment's newest attraction; a vr game! vanessa is Very aware of the fazbear controversies and tragedies, but its easy pay and PLUS its a job she'd actually enjoy doing. so she takes it. can't be as bad as the other establishments, right?

---

i know you said pre-sb so i probably went WAY further back buuuuut im stopping it here bc i cant write anymore 😭😭 hope this was a fun read at least!!

[silken-threads-bah]

I triwd asking someone else to do this, but they dont do introjects and im aware that you do so im asking you guys.

May we please have any of the following as a headmate pack:

Hitoshi Shinso

Katsuki Bakugo

Eijiro Kirishima

Kaminari Denki

Shoto Todoroki

(or even any of the girls)

We already have Izuku and Aizawa, but they say they would like to reunite with anyone from the above list. You get to choose because they said no matter who it is, it's okay.

Many thanks and take care,

(Asher)

I couldn't decide so I went with two, I hope that's alright! - Eden

Name: kaminari denki, spark, bolt, static

Age: 17

Pronouns: he/they

Gender(s): demiboy

Orientation: pansexual

Source(s): my hero academia

Role: mood-booster, energetic headmate

Personality: he's pretty upbeat, peppy, and loud. Theyre also incredibly optimistic, to the point that it seems like he's entirely ignoring any possible bad outcome of his actions. They never think before they speak or act, just jumping right into the deep end and then being absolutely shocked that his actions have consequences. Due to all of this, and his inability to sit still, he's seen as rather stupid and fidgety and sometimes childish. However, he's actually rather smart. He's just an idiot at the same time.

Interests: physics and engineering (he's a huge science nerd and loves finding out how things work behind the scenes), loves researching about the mechanics of rollercoasters and loves dyeing his own and other people's hair.

Extra info: they frequently type in all caps and uses gen z/gen alpha language (says sigma, fire, skibidi toilet, rizz, etc.) The brain rot is terminal I fear /j. Basically the annoying little brother that lives to poke everyone around them.

Faceclaims:

Name: eijiro kirishima, spike, onyx

Age: 16

Pronouns: he/him

Gender(s): trans man

Orientation: bisexual with a huge preference for men

Source(s): my hero academia

Role: confidence booster, protector

Personality: he's got a rock solid sense of right and wrong and isn't scared to stand up for himself and others. He can be a bit dense at times, completely missing the point of jokes or when someone's flirting with him, which has led some people to think he's stupid. Academically, he's not exactly the brightest, but he always puts the maximum amount of effort into everything he does, even studying.

Interests: sports (especially football, but his favorite sport to play is table tennis because he's so good at it), he really likes the outdoors and taking hikes/long walks, he's a bit of a gym bro and gets really into eating healthy and working out.

Extra info: loves liberty spikes (the hairdo) and would absolutely try to get the body's hair to look like that at least once if possible. He also enjoys painting his nails and when texting, he uses keyboard smashes to convey laughter instead of just typing "lol" like a normal person. Also! I could see him being a spider-man kin <3

Faceclaims:

[cherryy-slushy]

I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN- Jason Dean x Reader

TW: Violence, cheating, abuse (alcohol related), smut?, alcohol, drugging, using (using a person for something), bad mental health. (Also I may change to personal pronouns halfway through I apologise in advance.)

(I forgot to add in part 1 that this is set in current time LMAO sorry lads and that the way I’m imagining this is Jamie muscatos JD) Also I’m sorry if these are really short and not very well written 😭 Only experience I have with writing is essay writing when I was in secondary school… AND IF I ACCIDENTALLY SAY “mam” OR “lads” ITS BECAUSE IM IRISH AND I TEXT LIKE THAT SO ITS A HABIT SORRY 💀

Part 3

Part 2!

What did I really expect? That the super hot guy would completely ignore the pretty popular girl and go for a complete nobody like me? Pfft, don’t make me laugh. Veronica is gorgeous and I’m just bland. She’s popular and bubbly and I have like 4 friends and boring. She goes to party’s. I stay home and watch horror movies all night. Why am I surprised he likes her more? What I’m trying to say is IM JEALOUS. IM SO JEALOUS OF THAT GIRL. SHE WENT FROM LOSER TO LOVER ITS NOT FAIR.

After I left JD in the English classroom with Veronica I felt sick. Sick to my stomach. Like somebody just punched me in the gut and ripped it out.

I walked down the halls highly aware of everyone around me. I felt weird. Different. This can’t be normal. He’s just a teenage boy that I spoke to for half an hour.

A few seconds later I heard my name get called.

“Y/N!”

I looked back and saw half of my friend group waving me over.

We spoke for a bit before rushing off to 2nd period.

The class went by quick and next thing I knew I was sat at a table with my friend group in the cafeteria.

I was talking to my friend, Erica, and then heard obnoxiously loud laughing.

I turned to see who was making the annoying noise and was not surprised when I saw the 3 heathers and Veronica sat at the table watching Martha dunnstock open a letter and read it. The poor girl goes through hell because of them.

I watched as Martha got up and walked towards Ram Sweeney with the note in her hand. But before she got there Veronica swooped in front of her and started talking to her.

At least the girl has some sort of heart.

Martha then walked past Kurt and Rams table after a few minutes of talking to Veronica. The heathers were not happy.

I watch Veronica start to walk across the cafeteria back to the heathers.

Just then, when I turned around, I was greeted to J.D stood next to me at the side of my table.

“Hey”, he said with a small smile.

“Oh hey, how’s your first day going”, I replied politely with a small smile.

I seemed normal but inside I was screaming and felt like I was about to go bright red.

He was talking to me! He came to me instead of going over to attempt to get Veronica’s attention! Ohmigod Ohmigod OHMIGOD!

“It’s not too bad”, he said.

His gaze then slipped from me to somewhere else in the caf.

I looked to see where.

Of course, sawyer. It was so good to be true hey?

“Hey, what’s sawyers deal? Is she single?”, he asked.

I have two options.

I tell him the truth that Veronica’s single or..

I say she’s either dating someone or simply that I’m pretty sure she’s gay.

Ima go with the gay.

“Oh yeah I think she’s a lesbian”, I say trying to hide the giggle that’s trying to force its way out.

“Oh, right. That’s cool”, he says, clearly faking a smile.

I could tell her was disappointed but it’s giving me a chance I guess.

“Ya wanna sit here? There’s definitely enough room for you to sit here”, I say patting the bench next to me after moving up the bench a good bit.

“Oh, yeah sure”, he says with a tight smile.

I introduced him to my friends and then we went to talking about ms Fleming and her random bursts of energy in class.

Before I knew it the bell rang.

Fuck I have German.

“What’s your next class”, JD asked.

“German”, I said with a groan.

“Well it’s your lucky day because I have German too”, he smiles with a wink.

“Oh my god. Thank Jesus. Let’s go before Ms.Macy shits herself”.

I grab him and walk out of the cafeteria before Veronica can see him.

We spent the whole next class talking about movies.

Horror movies come up in the conversation.

“I can’t handle horror movies well”, I whisper to him.

“Awh come on they’re not that bad”, he whispers back with a breathy laugh.

“How bout after school today we go to my house and we watch one. Sound good?”, he asked.

IS THIS A DATE? No. You’re getting ahead of yourself Y/N calm down.

“Yeah I’m down. My moms working till pretty late anyways she won’t mind”, I say.

“Cool”, he replies with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The school day past quicker than I expected. And next thing I knew I was sat on the back of JDs motorbike. I looked around me. He hadn’t started to drive yet.

“You feel safe enough there?”, he asked.

“I guess..”, I said shifting myself a bit.

“Wrap your arms around my torso when we start driving. And grab on tight”, he said looking back at me with a smile. He gave me a helmet.

“What about you? Aren’t you gonna wear one?”, I asked.

“No. I’m fine. I never wear it”, he said.

I gave a breathy laugh in reply.

In the corner of my eye I could see Veronica staring over. I looked at her and gave her a wave (just to be petty) but made it look real.

She gave a tight smile and waved back.

“Get ready”, he said booting up the bike.

I wrapped myself around him. Tight.

I smiled against his back. It’s not creepy right?

We drove through town really fast and ended up at his house.

I texted my mom to let her know I’d be home later today.

Hopefully she’s in bed when I get home.. I cant put up with her on Friday nights.

[thymehaspassed]

Im not caught up on the thyme lore what happened in june??? (Also, from what i do know, you have every reason to be mad)

Oh boy this is a long story and a wild ride so I’ll put it under a cut

I’ll be leaving out names (though you could probably find them or if you know enough guess who the people are)

If you’re a person involved and somehow come across this. Hello. This is my take on the situation

All that’s here is just backstory for what happened. Past relationship things and I’ll put the actual. Thing in a reblog

Mkay. So this started back in October of last year when I started dating my ex.

We met in a mutual Layton server (they got. Kicked but it wasn’t particularly a negative thing) and kept contact. They confessed their feelings for me after something happened but expressed that they weren’t certain of their feelings. I agreed to try something out with them and it spiraled from there. I guess we never technically said we started dating (I was anticipating a trial period but they kinda just hopped into it)

For the record, I knew their mental health wasn’t the best. It never really was, but it only seemed to get worse over the months.

Fun fact about me is that I tend to mirror the people around me, to a kinda unhealthy point sometimes. So them being ill meant that I was ill and we got into this sort of unhealthy codependent thing. But I was really set on staying with them (to the extent that I was contemplating moving countries when I got old enough. Was planning on lying to my parents and everything. For a person I called with once and had three pictures of total.)

I’m easily attached. It’s just a thing

Anyways, they started interacting with someone in the community because he drew a certain character that they liked a lot.

There were a lot of signs that things were going badly. And I mean a lot of red flags that I simply ignored.

They were pretty notable within the fandom for their writing in art (as in. If you looked up certain characters their art comes up a few times.)

I’m only sharing this because it’s important later, but something happened in November (?). We had a system that when we noticed that each other rbed from someone on the no no list we’d message each other and then block that account. It happened more than once, and they were at least a little notorious for it. Then one day I let them know that they did it. And their answer changed. Their memory was pretty bad and keeping track of everything was hard for them, so they were just saying fuck it.

To support them I did the same, and said I didn’t care. That I loved them and supported them so I didn’t care either. Went down my block list and unblocked everyone (which started the chain of me being unable to block anyone ever again for forever.)

I’m horrible at standing up for myself and setting firm boundaries. I’m well aware that I’m a little doormat. And as expected, they pushed and I set my boundaries back further and further for them. It really was fine on my end, not nearly as bad as it could’ve been.

Mid January they moved on from PL and we started drifting a bit. They still interacted with my content when I sent it, but they moved onto other fandoms (one of which I got into in hopes that they’d talk to me more.)

Then in early February I got a message from someone I looked up to. I’m still rather afraid of him, if I’m honest. A while before that I made a comment that upset him and it made me nervous that he hated me. He messaged me about my partner, that the things they were doing weren’t acceptable and that the route they were on was a slippery slope. I knew that he had bad experiences before, and his points made sense. But they were rather fragile, and I naively thought that it wasn’t that bad.

Around that time (since December, actually) I was kind of tentatively getting closer to the kid me and my partner were mutuals with, and they were venting posting rather frequently. I’d reach out if it was particularly bad, and he’d send me vent art when he made it.

Eventually I asked him what kind of response he wanted when he sent me art (because I wasn’t sure what tone he was looking for). And he told me that he was still nervous about talking with me.

Then we talked more, and he showed me his conversations with my partner.

It was so much worse than I thought it was. The person that told me didn’t nearly do it justice. I freaked out and messaged my partner, and spent the next few hours panic messaging my friend and the person that told me. He apologized for not saying it all.

I understand why he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to tell. And it’s not my place to say it here either.

The next morning I broke things off with them, and it ended pretty messily. I regurgitated what the other person said, and they got upset. I remained relatively calm, but looking back I understand why they thought I was attacking them. I was hurt.

It was kind of stupid that I was upset that they weren’t just hurting me. Fucked up kinda I’m not good enough

But it all spiraled back to the block list thing. While I told them that I supported them, I requested that they not talk about those kinds of things with me. I thought that just because we were talking on similar subjects, they weren’t that far in. But at the time they were leaving the fandom, they just moved onto messaging the kid about the things they thought would make me uncomfortable to talk about.

And I was upset, because I knew that I would’ve been fine with it. My boundaries were already crossed so many times that I knew I would’ve done the same thing.

They blocked me on tumblr, and I told them I was taking a break. I never came back.

That’s the backstory to it. That’s background knowledge.

If you read this far, hi! Welcome to Valerie’s most recent fucked up relationship.

[bunny-heels]

giant vent post.

i think ive reached an actual breaking point. i havent had a breakdown this bad in such a long time and it stills feels horrible now as it did back then. i cant really think properly, not straight at least anyway. im going to ramble on and probably have a really hard time connecting everything together. but whatever.

at some point in my teens i developed a hyper self awareness. i would have that part of my brain that always thought rationally, like it was made up of a court of people or was some sort of other entity entirely. its always aware of what i was doing, if im doing something stupid, out of anger, irrational, selfish. its the "adult" part. it knows better than me, it knows right from wrong. and its not even like a "voice in the back of my head" or anything. its a very vocal and very upfront part of my brain thats there all the time. and it still is as im writing this. its never left.

my self awareness is really, really strong. it is pretty much my personal therapist. i think ive been through so much mental trauma in my life that my brain has just developed this as a safety net or firewall or whatever. and i mean it works a lot. only time it doesnt is when im really really depressed. like close to actually self harming or making a plan to kill myself levels.

i remember when i tried self-harming once, using really shitty dull scissors. that self-aware part of my brain was there the whole time, kept telling me this was a bad idea, there was no point in doing it and it would only hurt me and my loved ones if i succeeded in actually causing damage. i heard it the entire time. but i still went through with it and tried so hard to get through my own skin. i couldnt and i finally gave into the self aware and realized i shouldve listened to it sooner cause yeah, its not worth it to hurt myself just to regret it later.

my self awareness knew better like it always does. and like i said, its basically my therapist now. i barely even vent anymore because of it. i used to vent and rant a lot. i did it weekly pretty much because i had my little spaces where i thought i could let my emotions out and then i'd be able to go along with my day. then i had a friend of mine be passive aggressive towards me once because i guess they finally got sick of seeing of my rants on their timeline. and even my own mom told me i shouldnt be talking and showing my sensitive side so much online. then my stupid autism mistook someones joke for being real and i got so embarrassed i tried my best to seem like i was talking about someone else. and then i made friends with people where all they would do is rant and vent and rant and vent and rant and vent. and i got so, so tired of it to the point where i wanted to try everything i can to not be like them.

after that i barely ever ranted or vented again and only did it on very very very few occasions and only in places my friends could see. but every time i felt my emotions grow, my self aware side will just come in and be rational.

"dont think much about what these people online are doing, you know theyre just hateful and spiteful. theres no point in wasting your thoughts and emotions on them. do something you like instead."

"yeah the world is horrible right now. there are children dying and families being torn apart and innocent people being put through torture. and you feel guilty that you cant help them or that you dont deserve to be sad because youre not the one going through it. but its okay to be sad about people you dont know or how bad the world gets, and you dont need to justify your sadness. you know its different for everyone."

"you're reasonably upset about this thing, youre getting angry and there being no progress made is just making your mood worse. but font blow up. you know better than to yell at the people who dont and you dont want it to seem like youre annoyed with them or that you dont care. anger doesnt solve anything. you need patience and to be understanding. you shouldnt act extreme unless the situation really calls for it. then its justified."

if i have an urge to vent, i'll vent to my self awareness. if i get angry, my self awareness will calm me down. if i'm confused, my self awareness will look at everything it can. if i'm doing something i shouldn't, my self awareness lets me know. if i get bad impulses, my self awareness keeps me under control. my self awareness knows best. its the better half of me. its the part of me that i wish i could fully be 24/7. but i just cant.

and to be honest, my self awareness is also my enemy.

"i know you feel like venting but, look at all the problems these other people have. you dont need to talk about your problems with anyone. just use your brain and you'll be fine."

"theres already someone in this group that brings the mood down all the time. they talk negative about themselves and their life. you already feel bad for not being able to do anything. why add on to the list of people who cry and complain? you cant take care of your own issues just fine."

"is this the best time to be going to this person to vent and rant? i mean you have no idea what theyre doing right now. they could be busy, they could be in a good mood and you dont wanna bring them down. what if they dont even want to hear about your problems right now? its best if you just figure it out yourself for now. youre smart, you dont need other people when you already know what to do."

i remember in late elementary and during my whole middle school years, my mental health was the lowest its ever been. during middle school, almost every day was the same. i'd have an okay or mediocre time at school, i'd come home, feel relief for a bit and maybe hang out with friends, then all the sudden this wave of sadness flowed through me. it would hit hard and all at one. i would always have to get away from my computer, climb into bed, and cry. sometimes it was over something that happened at school, sometimes over something online, sometimes something at home, and sometimes for no reason. but it would always happen. no matter what.

i isolated myself when i cried. i hated people seeing or hearing me cry or tear up. i would get made fun of for crying in elementary school, whether if it was from bullying or having issues with class or the teacher. i was and am still really really sensitive. and i was always treated terribly every time i showed it. so when i got emotional or upset, i hid myself away. no one gets bothered by me and i get bothered by no one. eventually after learning some things about psychology and getting a bit of therapy, my brain trained on that and i learned to deal with my emotions all by myself. i didnt need to talk to anyone anymore, no more making someone feel bad or having my problems be ignored or getting made fun of for my emotions. from now on all my problems stayed my problems.

but i dont know how long i can keep going like this. i can rationalize a situation, i can regulate my emotions, i can do things at my own pace and never have to worry about burdening someone or myself ever again. im doing it all myself. im doing it alone.

i dont want to do it alone anymore.

i want to talk to people about my problems again. i want to rant and vent and ramble and scream about things that piss me off and make me upset. i wanna yell while i rant to my friends about something that made me angry. i wanna vent about having a shitty day. i wanna be able to message a friend and tell them i feel like shit. i wanna be able to call a friend while crying and saying that i wish things were better. i wanna be able to talk about how much the world sucks. i wanna have moments where i talk shit about myself, talk about how im a miserable piece of shit and that i dont deserve to be loved and cared for. i dont deserve friends or family, i dont deserve nice things, i dont deserve to have fun, or have medicine, or have people listen to me, or care about me. i wanna scream that i dont matter and that no one cares about me.

and all i want after that is just someone to hug me.

i dont want to hear rational explanations about the world, or about how life and feelings work, or how the human brain works, or how fair and unfair things can be. i dont want cold hard truth. i dont want blunt. my brain already does it for me. i know im being irrational, i know im just upset, i know im just depressed, i knows things are unpredictable and that life isnt a straight path and that not everything is simple and things cant be fixed that easily and that theres always gonna be hard moments and i just have to accept it. i know. i know i know i know.

just please. i just want a moment to he comforted.

i want someone to listen. i want someone to sit there in silence as they hear my begs and pleads. i want them to not say anything as i scream about how terrible everything is. i want them quiet as i complain that life is awful and things should be easier. i dont want them to interrupt while i talk shitty about myself and call myself a horrible person. i dont want them to talk. i want them to listen. i want them to hear me when i cry and listen when i go on and on and on.

and when im finally finished speaking, and im gasping for air as my throat is all raspy from how much and how high ive spoken, and my face is red and i have a massive headache and my eyes and cheeks are soaked in tears and my whole body hurts, i just want them to get up, be right in front or next to me, and hug me.

i want them to wrap their arms around me and squeeze me tight against them. for them to put their hand on the back of my head and on my mid back and stroke both of them. for them to put my face in the croak of their neck. and to just hear them breath and whisper

"its okay. everything will be okay."

and i'll cry again. i'll cry so hard my whole face will hurt. my eyes will be bloodshot, my face is hot and bright red, my nose is snotty and runny, my whole body is tired, i look like a disheveled mess. and i'll cry into their neck. i'll let it all out.

and i want them to be okay with that. i want them to let me let go. i want them to let me have my moment of breaking down. and when im tired from it all, i want them to soothe me and tell me that everything will be okay. that im not a bad person, that im not ugly, that its okay that im sensitive, that im not a burden, that i deserve to be loved and cared for, that its okay for me to cry, its okay for me to have these moments of weakness, that im not alone, that its okay for me to let it out.

that i dont have to care of myself anymore and theyll be there for me no matter what.

i'll have them and they'll have me.

but even now when im getting close to finishing this, feeling like i finally have let myself have a moment of vulnerability.

that voice comes back, it creeps in at the last few words.

"you do have people that care about you. of course theyre there for you. you know you have people that care. dont pretend they dont exist."

they do exist.

i know they exist.

but

what if theyre busy.

[kissforyouu]

@ sanrio oc

I don’t even know what to say, other than it’s borderline toxic at this point. They didn’t solve anything and are probably gonna fight again, how is he literally saying that she’s overreacting one minute and the next she forgiving him SO EASILY and is all like “my mann.” Like girl ur man literally called you out of ur name and will most likely do it again since he didn’t even want to talk about it and tried to covered it up with gifts n shit, like NOOOO and the end is what really made is sit and stare at my wall like “girl what did I just read” because it’s like she completely forgot about what happened.

I really like the oc and Jungkook, even when I was seeing people saying that she should run I was like he isn’t that bad, but after this chapter he really does seem like a gaslighter and a manipulator, and the oc probably doesn’t even realize it because she’s already been manipulated.

okay i rlly like this and ur pov🤭🤭 ty for this! okay so im planning to make a timeline for this, so most of drabbles i am posting right now is kind of like filler. meaning there's gonna be like an actual plot on how they met and how things went on after that, and what exactly made jungkook want to change. (GIMME SUM TIME FOR THAT im rlly busy these days but it's coming out it's like 10% written💀💀). but i do agree on everything you said, she is too oblivious sometimes. like she does try to stand up but she immediately gives in after a while. i mentioned before that jks already pretty toxic and he's like slightly aware of that and is trying to tone it down a lil for oc because this time he's actually serious. and also like jungkook doesn't really know how to express himself in situations like this, like properly apologising. he's good with words of affirmation and making conversations what not, but in a situation where he actually has to ground himself and accept his faults and properly apologise, he's struggling. he's not good with his words when it comes to this fs. it wasn't his intention to come off as trying to manipulate oc, he just doesn't know how to properly say it. also another thing, sanrio jk is avoidant. he doesn't want to talk about the actual problem. hence why he always tries to switch the topic or something. that's because he sometimes worries that if the argument carries on and it would get worse. i guess his intentions are correct, just the way he's doing that is wrong. he's just dragging it.

those r just excuses tho tbh and i fully agree on what u said, but just wanted to give reasons for as to why.

i hope that clears at least something up in the slightest and i hope i made sense🥲 ask away if u have any more questions. thank uuu.

[liquidstar]

You know I love Ram and I like Roswaal, but I do not understand their relationship. Like Ram, your taste in men can't be this bad.

her taste in men IS trash but the story itself seems pretty self-aware about this, like, other characters straight up tell her "you have horrible taste" (betty and julius both say it outright). i think the reason she fell for him was because she eventually realized he was also a victim, which lead to her have sympathy (almost pity) for him and eventually see him in a different light.

and for all the fucked up shit hes done ram isnt wrong, he IS a victim. he was, like, a teenager when he first met echidna. and the way that meeting went was... super gross LOL. but it was like that For A Reason, from the 1st instance of them interacting we know that this isnt a pure love of any kind just based on how the... vomit kiss. still gross. it wouldnt be a longshot (no pun intended) to say that he was groomed is what im saying.

i think ram just kind of recognized that over time and ended up resonating with it. like it makes sense but that doesnt mean her taste isnt shit. like again this gets lampshaded and all. even roswaal himself doesnt think he deserves that love which is one thing we agree on lmao. but its also another subaru parallel in which he sees himself as unlovable and all. at the very least the feeling doesnt seem to be mutual and he never actually intended to lead her on with romantic feelings so congrats for the bare minimum clown man. youre still fucked up tho

[salaciousslut]

Done! Also do you have a favorite tequilla brand? Just curious! 🫣

Technically i have freckles all over my face but i only really count the ones that are darker and in a line under my eyes and over my nose, the other ones aren't prominent enough to call them freckles imo. And i'd feel more than lucky if you did worship me, sweetheart<3

I would love to take you to the gym with me, it honestly helped me with my depression as well! And of course i'd watch over you sweetheart<3 i wont lie, i love to go after dark bc theres less people. And i had the same problem but now i catch myself and try to stand straighter. I mostly lift weights when i work out so I know my posture improved due to needing to have a straight back to lift. Plus its super fun imo!! I miss the gym so bad but i hate going alone. I also miss feeling sore, im a bit of a masochist so i love feeling sore the day after working out🤭

Dont apologize for giving me info<3 organization's overrated anyway. Ive found that girls with glasses tend to be my type🫣 you literally sound so pretty sweetheart<3 i knew i wasnt wrong calling you a pretty princess<3 im kissing the tip of your nose and your forehead rn🥰 you are literally so cute, puppy coded too🥺 ive never had crawfish it seems yummy but im not sure if i should try it! Shrimp ceviche used to be my favorite but then i developed a shrimp allergy to uncooked shrimp and around 17 i had to call it quits bc it stopped being worth it to risk it. Im still pissed but at least i can still eat shrimp its just gotta be thoroughly cooked, not just get cooked through the acidity of lime juice like its sucks so bad i just miss ceviche so bad. Ohh just a butch latina and a pretty asian girl what ever will they do hehe<3 and i knew but not cause you told me 🫣 your dni made it obvious, like yeah im just now saying hey but ive been aware of you for a little bit now🫣 also please lemme be ur body pillow one day<3 savory is good!!! Whats your favorite kind of snack?

Also thats adorable, youre just a cute little puppy that has to get off once a day to function her best<3 i mean if i were stressed from school i'd probably need the same thing🤭

tbh im not too picky about my brands, as long as it gets me drunk, then im happy!! also tequila makes me take my clothes off oopsies i think i should warn u about that!! but if im buying for myself, i typically will get espolon bc i feel like its yummy and reasonably priced!

yes i love feeling sore after a workout!! i am also a bit of a masochist (omg who knew)!! but ive never lifted weights before. all the dude bros scare me and i feel like im always being judged but if we went together i know u would take care of me!! i like aerobics and like calisthenics (i had to google how to spell that word) and love yoga sm!! the burn of stretching feels amazing!!

hehe i am very puppy coded! i used to think i was more kitten coded but now ive grown and realized puppies are sooo fun!! so much energy and just wanna be cherished and loved!! which is everything i want!!

nooooo thats so sad that ur allergic to ur fav food :(( i love ceviche but at least u can still tolerate the cooked version. i know its not the same but its still something!!

ohhh i forgot that i put that in my dni, people are so weird about race here smh i just gotta cover all my bases so i can have fun on this website!! but aww we would look soooo cute together

im a sucker for chips. u know how they say all bi girls do is lie and eat hot chip? yeah all i do is eat hot chip hehehe. not so much lying but hot chip very much so. i also loveee chips and salsa and chicken wings and yeah all the fun savory stuff i guess!!!

hehe cumming is like a lil treat!! a reward for myself for being sooo good you know? but it would be a million times better if someone else was making me cum rather than myself 😳🫣

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

Hi, anon with the friend, here. First of all thank you so much for responding <3 I read through the page you shared, it was super helpful & I will come back to it again and again for sure. I think I did OK last night, my friend is currently safe and seems to be feeling calmer rn. I do have a few follow-up questions if you feel ok answering, I will go into specifics this time, so if you or any of your followers want to stop reading, this would be a good place to do that- I just truly wanted to say thanks.

Anyway, to answer your question: he does trust me & feel comfortable confiding in me, . Last night he was in a state of crisis and he called me for help. He believed he needed to get out of his place for his own safety, so he packed up his most important stuff and asked me to go get him. I went, and like 3 minutes in I realized he was having a delusion. So I parked somewhere safe and just sat with him in my car for like an hour and listened. I did the best I could, didn't try to argue or convince him he was wrong, just did my best to make sure he both WAS safe, and FELT safe. He did calm down a lot, but was still convinced he'd be in danger if he went home, so I helped him check into a hotel for the night. I did convince him not to drop his job, and to wait a few days before making any big decisions, which im super grateful for, but that was it. He was really not in a good place. This morning he texted me & said he felt safe enough to return to his place for now. All good so far.

BUT, here's the thing. This was a really big crisis, I've never seen him this bad. And I don't know how I should talk to him about this, or when. Or shit, idk if I even should try to address it at all. He sometimes believes his roommate is dangerous to him, and so is his family. These are not great people so, fair enough, he's 100% right to be guarded around them, even if sometimes his reasons aren't quite real. Overall though, he was doing so, so well. He was dating this girl and was happy with her, he was self-aware about his delusions and trying hard to keep himself grounded, he was doing great. New job, new apartment. He'd been sober for 2 hard-fought years before this. Then two days ago his piece of shit roommate gave him the stuff he used to be addicted to, and that's what sent him into a spiral. He started feeling threatened by everyone around him, which is why he needed to leave. But he also started to VERY strongly mistrust his girlfriend, he was pretty heartbroken about it but he was CONVINCED she was a part of the thing his delusion was about, and that she was 100% malicious/deceitful towards him from the start. And I just couldn't dispute that at all last night. I don't know if this suspicion will go away or not... The stuff must've worn off by now, but obviously his delusion won't just stop like it never happened. So how can I help him work through it & hopefully get himself back to where he was? I also don't want this to damage his relationship, I would hate to see him lose her or push her away bc of this. Is there any way at all I can help him trust her again? How do I try to ground him without making him suspect me as well? Im so worried, I just want him to be OK.

It's really good that you're able to be there for a friend, that's very sweet of you. I'm really glad your friend can trust you to this extent!

Basically you can address these things, but ensure he is calm and in a good state as well as willing to discuss these things. I think at some point there definitely needs to be a discussion about this roommate and how he can potentially get away from them? Or just... avoid the roommate at the very least. Because if they triggered your friend AND sent them into a relapse that isn't good at all, i'd be concerned for your friend's safety.

And you can definitely talk to him about why he feels his girlfriend is a part of his delusions, but you may need to wait until he has calmed down enough to talk about it without becoming accusatory towards you. If you're in contact with the girlfriend, it's definitely worth it to get her to try and be understanding and have her talk to him as well, to try and reassure him that she is there for him and not against him.

You can remind him about everything good she has done for him and all the good times they had! Maybe even gather some pictures and screenshots he can send to you for safekeeping so when he's in crisis you can send him these things so he can have something to remind himself that his girlfriend is a good person and not somebody to be afraid of. I know that sort of thing helps me when I start having delusions that are against my partner.

-Mod Clemont

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

I rarely feel this alone its probably because I didn't eat anything all day and because I didn't drink water all day and because my bf yelled at me again this morning for complaining o r not listening or something and because I have bpd and because I felt ostracized at my university and because I failed my classes and because I don't wanna be part of that bs propaganda statistic that weed enjoyers do not do well in college and drop out because that is only part of the problem weed can make people distracted and "lazy" for sure but that applies with pretty much any other legal "drug" or other form of entertainment, and I also feel alone because I did bad at school because I live in like two different places and still don't have a car or drivers license IN TEXAS and also because I am constantly scared all the time of everything and also because everything is exhausting and also because I have been needing to do my laundry for months now and also because I have adhd and have been undiagnosed my entire life until like 2 years ago and also because I feel like everyone hates me and no one will ever like me for the dysfunctional angry abusive disgusting incompetent useless and stupid person I really am and I am a literal burden to everyone that has ever interacted with me and also because I hate everyone and also because I want to be perfect and amazing all the time and solve everyone's problems so we can all be friends and no one ever thinks im weird or yells at me or hates me or tells me to do shit ever ever ever again and also because I am living in America and also because there is an entire population of people being erased and its happening in front of our eyes and all the awareness is great but im really scared nothings helping I guess I should donate after this or at least spread some more awareness idk

I hate that I havre so much to complain about when im literally living some peoples dream. I cant believe these opportunities were wasted on me. it should've been someone else that went to school and got the degree instead of dissapointing everyone and being an awkward outcast in the classroom.

im literally making this about myself I don't know how I can be so selfish. my bf gives me shit all the time about how I complain too much and look for problems instead of solutions, which I understand but he seemed very skeptical when I say that conflict is an addiction in some cases especially traumatized kids (me)

im so hurting guys im in so much pain ive been in pain a lot of my life, like not a lot a lot but a fair amount for sure

ive been running on between 15% ~ 5% battery for the past 6+ years I don't know how much time I have left

and don't even get me started on the health concerns I be smoking and vaping (vaping isn't nearly as often tho) and omg I just saw that kurzegazxt (idk how to spell them) video about smoking lmfao

I feel like according to everyone ive ever interacted with, I am either trying too hard (stressing about overly specific schedules) or not trying hard enough (snapping and or having a meltdown "on purpose")

everyone wants something from me and even when they don't want anything I am suffocated by my thoughts telling me Im not doing enough for them I am so exhausted and scared and sad this world is such an evil and rotten place sometimes I am so scared for the fate of humanity we are so screwed and hopeless (ok not really but this is my mindset rn and its MY MENTAL EPISODE I GET TO CHOSE THE RANT LYRICS)

oucccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ouuuuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhh

chat, is it ethical to ask someone to "just stop" having symptoms of emotional irregulation? omg Imma make a poll lmfao

just everything is bad rn im really going through it my life is falling apart and I keep ruining everything and its all my fault because I am not disciplined enough I hate

om,g that funny moment when your dad doesn't let you take meds when you actually wanted to try them and then you try weed and its cool but it does not help with school because work hates you, and so you try to get back into meds when you're in school and you never prepare enough for each semester and there wasn't time to adjust to new meds before the semester and then I ended up doing weed again because I cant just do the entire semesters unmedicated. ME??? MY ADHD ASSS????? TRYING NOT TO DIE AT UNIVERSITY????????

WITHOUT SUBSTANCES???????????

Oh goodness

Anyway but yeah that paragraph is basically just saying I wish I coulve had meds before I tried za. that way my chances of graduating without going to the psyche ward twice wouldve been probably been at least a little higher

and now guess who's giving me shit and probably hates me to death because im abusing their son/grandson and im not taking meds yet because I haven't had time to look for an in person psychiatrisist because im still looking for a job because I haven't cleaned my room yet because of the stupid internet sucking me into an infinite abyss of capitalized attention spans. yep that's right, my potential in laws. im sure they cant stand me anymore. his grandma literally told me to "take care of him if you know what's good for you" and I know that cleaning the house and not being verbally abusive is a great way to ensure our future family doesn't get sick.

im gonna kms guys ok not really but I think about it a lot sometimes I really cant stand this anymore

HOOOOOOOW DO YOU ACCEPT CONTSTRUCTIVE CRITICIMS NORMALLY>???????????????? HOW DO YOU JUST NOT BE SCARED BECAYSE YOU CAN'T TELL IF THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU IS JUSTIFIED OR IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF??????????????

HOOOOOOOWWWWWW???????????????

OH AND ASO because my brother hates me and has gone no contact with me for the past few months and he just doesn't talk to me ever and also I want to die so bad and my cat

oh my cat

wang ja my beloved

*starts tearing up* ooough my caaaaaat..

my cat oh my beloved cat is almost in his 30s in cat years and I feel so horrible because he had to live with my parents for most of his 20s and late teens while I spent a lot of time with my bf because he was my safe space once, and now I see he's getting older even if only slightly and my house is so boring and the food is so shitty I want to give him fresh food from the farm and give him lots of fresh air and exercise and we just cant have those nice things rn because we live in a society. :"(((((((((

omg please someone just stab me i cant take this