#and everytime I think about Mike in season four

[dinitride-art]

“Mike wheeler’s armpit of a basement”

“I’ve seen Mike’s room look worse than this”

“I was being a total self pitying idiot”

“Why am I the bad guy”

“One day she’s going to realize that I’m just some random nerd”

“At least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet”

“I’ve been bullied my whole life”

“Mike’s always whining about it”

“And yet you still have a C in Spanish”

“You can’t even write it Mike”

“You made it super clear that you’re not interested in anything I have to say”

“-and if I said that thing then maybe she’d want me there with her, wherever she is”

“The bad government dudes are after your super-girlfriend right? Right?! Okay, so, maybe the cops can help us find out where she is because they’re gonna kill her, man. And if they kill her, there gonna kill us!”

“Oh, no, no, no, no- it’s a shitty knock off, yeah”

“Who’s that twig with her?”

“That doesn’t mean he’s wrong. I mean, if that guy would’ve lived one more second- one more second- th- we could know where she is. Wh-why didn’t he just say the number? I-I should’ve explained myself, cuz then maybe, Eleven would’ve taken me with her and things would be different but I-I didn’t know what to say”

“And I feel like maybe I-I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something”

“Y’know the last few days, I’ve had to think about the last talk we had. You know, before the cops and the whole word went to shit and everything? I- I guess- I just- I- I dunno- I guess I just wanted to- to say-”

“But… but what if after all of this is over… sh-she doesn’t need me anymore?”

“No I… it’s so stupid, given everything that’s going on. It’s just… I… I don’t know. I just”

“I, love you.”

Mike’s flopping on the floor like a miserable and suffocating fish out of water season. His friends make fun of him. Eddie made fun of his clothes. Karen told Dustin he’s welcome at the Wheeler’s anytime which implies that Mike isn’t really talking to his friends outside of school. Dustin and Mike didn’t know when Lucas’ basketball game was, which implies that they haven’t really been talking to Lucas a lot. Mike did call the Byers but wasn’t able to get through. El and Will are have been in Lenora for months and Mike hasn’t really been able to talk to either of them. El’s been lying to him in her letters and writing and signing letters is a reminder that he’s avoiding writing the word love. Everyone’s telling him that he’s doing something wrong. This kids going through it.

[froglover7789]

dude if will doesnt get to be an important character again in season 5 of stranger things im going to lose it. i hate what they did to him in season 4. it was painful to watch. free my boy!!!

it just feels like the duffer bros forgot that the entirety of the story happened bc of will. his disappearance is the catalyst for everything. season 2 is about him being possessed and the aftermath of what being in the upside down does to a person. season three he still had some connection that was helpful to the party. hes so so important. and what did they have him do in season four??? comfort mike??? r u kidding me rn?????

i get that maybe its a set up for something. maybe he was written that way so the audience could feel for how isolated he was. but then. there was no pay off for that towards the end of the season? there were no hints that that was a set up for something with vecna? or a set up for anything else???? like. what was the reason! GRAAAA

i get so mad everytime i think about this. season four had so much potential and was so good in some ways but a lot of the choices really pissed me off. if the new season doesnt fix this i will simply lose my marbles. peace and love.

[bean-ender]

Jason’s Hellfire Club List

I really don’t know how to like properly communicate at all but especially on tumblr because I don’t rlly post much but I am thinking thoughts (a rare occurrence) therefore you need to hear them

so in s4 episode 5 there’s a scene where Jason shows the basketball team (minus Lucas) a list of places to search and I think it’s really interesting so

Here is the list I was talking about, hopefully you can read it but if not the attempted image id is underneath keep reading

There are lots of interesting things about this I think

wheelers is crossed out, suggesting that Jason/ the basketball team already talked to any or all of the Wheelers (I know he speaks to Nancy but that's in episode 8 and I'm not entirely sure what was said because to be perfectly honest I'm a bad person who hasn't watched all of season four yet and has just spoiled it tremendously for themself) edit: a more likely explanation is that Mike just wasn’t there so they couldn’t talk to him, but interesting they put wheelers rather than his whole name like they did Dustin’s, and it’s plural

Big buy is not referring so some European brand I just found out existed by googling it, but actually is the name of a supermartket that I think El stole the Eggos from in S1, the full name is Bradley's Big Buy, just a cool easter eggo

Drama class being on this list most likely means that Hellfire itself is hosted in the theater room, which is what the wiki says. We know this because of "the stage lights, curtains and props seen around them during game night" which I never noticed because I don't pay very close attention. However, in order to gain access to the theater room, one or more of the Hellfire kids must also know the drama teacher and probably really like drama well, which is awesome. Theater kids who also play dnd unite (even though I haven't actually done anything yet because I never finished my character sheet, that doesn't matter)

I have no idea what thacher tike is. None at all. Google was completely unhelpful, I genuinely have no clue. Perhaps a smart person will see this and connect dots I didn't think of but I know nothing

I think it's interesting that (Jason thinks at least) Hellfire is hosted at the elementary school, when we've seen Hellfire meetings hosted in the theater room, and it makes no sense to have high schoolers in the elementary school. It's also odd that Jason writes the av closet specifically, when the av room is tied to the party but especially Mike and Will (although that may be my byler brain slanting it that way). Especially saying closet instead of room hmmm closet imagery...

There have been many posts from far more intelligent people about how the library is tied to everything (Will being found at he lirary, Nancy saying Barb was at the library, Nancy + Robin finding information on the Creels in the library, Hopper finding information on the experiments in the library plus his relationship (used not romantically but as two people that are connected) with the librarian and I think it's interesting (drinking game take a shot everytime I say interesting) how Hellfire is also tied to the library.

Weird that Jeff and Gareth are lumped together as Hellfire members but Lucas, Dustin, Mike, and Paul Cook (whoever he may be) are listed seperately. Perhaps because those other people are more important

Paul Cook is as it turns out a very common name, but one of the more famous ones is Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols. There appear to be no links from Sex Pistols to Stranger Things, no Sex Pistols played on the show, although they may be on a charavter playlist, I'm not sure. I don't think any other Paul Cooks are relevant to the show but who knows.

I have no idea what most of these actually mean or how they affect anything, it probably doesn't matter at all, but this post was fun to make and hey, first proper tumblr post with my own writing, more than like a sentence! hooray

I hope at least some of this made sense and maybe someone talented will see it and expand on it but for now this is all I have

Here's what the list says if you can't read the image (it's all in capitals in the original if that matters) (green is my commentary/confusion)

Lucas Sinclair

wheelers

big buy

drama class

Dustin Henderson

Thacher tire?? Edited because it’s very likely that it does say thatcher tire, googling it gets headcanons and things about Eddie working there, but that must have come from either this list or some other detail that also supports it.

Hawkins Elementary › * hellfire meetings!!?

--> av closet

Library? -> downtown

Jeff/Gareth (Hellfire)

Paul Cook

Park behind community pool edited because you guys are probably right, community pool makes sense especially because it was heavily featured in s3.

*> is used to encapsulate both "Hawkins elementary" and "av closet", as in "I think Hellfire meetings are held in Hawkins elementary, specifically the av closet" | just can't format that while typing, sorry

[yikesharringrove]

Notes while watching episode 2:

Tldr, this season is still pretty fun. Of course they’re introducing more of the mysteries, so the tone (and my screen) has gone darker. I’m really sick of the plot centering around Nancy and Jonathan just not being able to talk to each other. We’ve had it since the beginning I’m DONE. Stop introducing side characters when you don’t have any idea what to do with your main ones. I’m hoping we get more of Lucas this season, he barely had like two minutes of screen time (which is a trend from last season) and also no one cared about billy. But of course, we knew that.

Anyway here is the long version of my notes:

The way I GASPED when Powell and Callahan stepped out of the police cruisers and Powell is the chief now I screamed bitch. My favorite minor characters are HERE.

I have Jonathan’s haircut right now rip

Everytime I am forced to watch children kiss each other I feel my soul slip away. (Although the flower thing was lowkey cute)

Mike not hugging Will is pure homophobia I’m gonna throw up.

“I heard a lot about your sister” unfortunately, we all have.

Glad to see that Murray is still dialed to 1000 forever.

They are really trying to make Jonathan look like an extra in Almost Famous and it’s just. Not working.

They really are out here shoving Steve into youth xs size polos and bitch I’m HERE for it.

“Alone we totally suck” Steve and robin platonic soulmates 4ever

Bennys burgers is now the teenage rage place obsessed with that.

“The devil lives here in Hawkins” yeah and the devil’s name is Nancy’s wardrobe

Claudia Henderson my beloved.

The way Dustin is defending Eddie and saying he knows that he’s too good a person to hurt Chrissy, and Max saying how scared Eddie looked and putting together the Upside Down pieces just breaks my fucking heart. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

People need to start fucking believing Joyce. She’s been right about everything for four seasons now stop staying no to her.

I am very similar to Joyce in that I am in love with Jim Hopper.

I am DEEPLY claustrophobic that torture scene was A Lot.

Wills deep man voice is freaking me out he’s a grown human now I’m gonna barf he was such a squishy baby in season 1.

Obsessed that Will is lowkey good at roller skating. He’s such a fruit.

Someone called Mike a twig and I thought he said TWINK.

Jason the WASP can eat my shorts PLEASE don’t tell me he becomes part of the main group I hate his dumb face. I only have room in my heart for one stupid prep and that spot is FILLED by STEVEN HARRINGTON

Nancy and Jonathan actually talk to each other and communicate challenge. “Slow motion breakup with Nancy?” VIBES

I don’t understand why Angela keeps calling El a snitch? When the teacher asked if something was going on El said there wasn’t, but the teacher saw through it. Like, she tried to cover for you, sorry that your bullying isn’t subtle.

When I heard that psycho killer baseline I genuinely had to pause the show to calm myself down that song is SO FUCKING GOOD

Jason the prep is just Hawkins’s version of Archie Andrews I’m gonna cry with this vigilante shit.

“See ya later. Alligator.” Steve Harrington my BELOVED. When he said that he looked so dead inside <3

I think Lucas has said about eight words this season and I’m Tired. He was barely in season 3 and only existed as a punch line for the joke of being constantly broken up with by Max. They’ve added a hundred new characters and have totally cast him aside which is ALSO on trend. Doesn’t mean I fucking like it though.

Reefer Rick is just Steve.

Okay when Steve was talking about attending to all the customers equally……. Not just babes…….. bisexuality……..

(Also some random punk walked in behind him and punk kid is my new kilt guy)

For some lovely lovely angst I am now headcanoning a scene where vecna gets in Steve’s head and uses Barb’s death and funeral against him like the reporter kid. I think that seeing Steve go through that guilt would be delicious.

Mike calling out Will for being a douche when really he’s just gay and Over It. “Why am I the bad guy” Mike you’ve been a dick for four seasons. Maybe look internally.

El just claw this bitch’s eyes out already. YES SKATE TO THE FACE GO GIRL.

Dustin is so annoying fr he’s the best. “Is that foot?” “No that’s just a shoe.” Steve and Dustin #DreamTeam

Movies and tv stop being too dark for me to see what’s happening challenge.

The little trumpet noises Robin makes SHES SO CUTE.

“Yeah yeah, on Dustin’s mother” this is some fucking Claudia slander and I will not stand for it.

All steve knows is eat hot chip, moan when other boys press up against him, and lie.

Eddie (rightfully) being treated like he’s been traumatized. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

They filled Eddie in on all the upside down shit right away. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

Vecna doesn’t feel like an Upside Down thing to me. I mean, he’s clearly in the Upside Down, and is a part of it? But the way he’s like up in these people’s heads is weird. I don’t think he’s any part of the mind Flayer because we had that bitch for two seasons, they’d be finished with that.

Also not the demogorgons being able to fly. These bitches have seriously evolved like the fucking graboids in Tremors 1-3.

[borealnyx]

MASH season 7 thoughts

first of all, lots of love to @genderqueer-klinger for being my watching buddy and giving me all the behind the scenes trivia.💖

Secondly, @ Mike Farrel and/or the costume department: what the fuck was that???? are you telling me that hawkeye makes an offhand comment about wanting more cheery red around, and bj not only organices a red party, but he continues to wear red/pink every single episode???and when mike farrel directs an episode (called “aint love grand”), half of it is about how bj and hawk are and old married couple that solved their problems with a big long hug......am i being queerbaited by a 50 year old show??? FUCK!!!! (also, what is up with the socks thing??)

the only other things i can say about bj are that his new shot in the opening credits kept jumpscaring me and that i really like when he gets passive agressive or mentally unwell about his family and his place in the war (bj papa san and the party specially) please someone get him to talk about his feelings

For margaret i can only say that im living for her arc. she really is out there living her best sexy divorcee life, playing pranks like a master, flirting, facing her worst fears (shes afraid of loud noises and she went to a war ON PURPOSE i love her so much) and putting herself and her values above all while kicking mysogynistic asses. even if i wish that she steps away from the army after the war to live a real life, she does deserve the highest rank anyone can have just by dealing with hawkeye.

Speaking of hawkeye, love that little hypocrite. im still not convinced that the first episode wasnt a trick to make sure he never had to be put in charge of anything again. he really was the comedic center of the show once upon a time, and here he is now. screaming at his friends, having moral crises, chosing the dark optionsand having anxiety attacks. my poor blorbo... but also everytime he failed at flirting was another victory for feminism. alan alda has been forgiven from his crimes of making me sad, because he really wants feminism to win.

For charles, im glad they dropped the thing with margaret compleatly and just let him an entitled bastard. his bits in “an eye for a tooth” and “rally around the flagg” were really inspired. he also went on a couple buddy comedy type of trips, and i think there should be more of those. just charles and someone else, compleatly isolated, and him making a fool of himself.

i also want to mention father mulcahy in here, cause i have barely even talked about him. he really had some shining moments this season. he is such a chill guy, and so very patient with everyone, but he has someshit going on in his past and i would love to hear more about it (also his bit in the interview about the doctors warming themselves on open wounds is going to live in my head forever)

as a final note, i have to say that i love when an episode breaks with the usual formulas with the show, so point of view was really welcome, even if at some points it felt like a choose your own adventure game. i hope there are more episodes like that in the last four seasons.

[deckerswheeler]

symbolism in the coca cola scene of stranger things 3

in episode 7 of season three of stranger things, mike, will, lucas, and max and sitting in bradley’s big buy while waiting for el to find billy in the void. lucas is drinking a New Coke. lucas loves it, and starts explaining how the old coke was the original: reliable, classic, and delicious... but the new coke is better as it’s sweeter and bolder. at this, both mike and max simultaneously say “what?!” in a disgusted way, while mike asks “how can you even drink that?” 

this scene is very out of place with the rest of the episode, and i think it is there to serve some type of symbolic purpose. mike and max both admittedly dislike the new coke. but the “new coke” isn’t what the symbolism stands for. this is referring to their relationships. lucas is happy in the “new” stage of his and max’s relationship, despite their ups and downs and constant breakups. but max isn’t. she does not like their “new” relationship and prefers the original... aka their season two relationship, when they were friends and just innocently flirted. this is obviously seen in the array of scenes where max refers to boys as “stupid” and literally wants el to break up with mike because “friends don’t lie. but boyfriends lie all the time.” she is sick of lucas lying (possibly causing their multiple breakups), and wants things to go back to the way they were. she misses the “original”.

as for mike, he is no longer contempt in his relationship with el. he wishes he could have the “original thing” again. he doesn’t like their newfound relationship of making out and constantly clinging to each other, parading around as boyfriend and girlfriend. he wants what they had before: the longing, the innocence, the friendship. reminder that mike met el at age twelve and new her for four (VERY STRESSFUL) days, before kissing her and asking her to the snowball. yes, he cared about her. but their relationship did not start out romantically. think about it, did he show any romantic interest in her until lucas started making fun of him and troy called will homophobic slurs in front of him? no. in fact, he was strictly USING el to get to will. at first he was perfectly willing to turn her in to child protective services with the help of his mom, and only found her interesting after he realized she knew will (from the picture in his room). in the moments before they kissed, mike knew there was a chance he would never see will again, he knew that he might be gone forever and he projected that fear onto el. actually, every flirting scene between them in season one was prompted by the possibility of will being gone forever. as for season two, he presumed el to be DEAD. he was healing from that loss of el and back to spending copious amounts of time with will. he may have been calling her every night, but it was because he was clinging to the thought that he might possibly have a “thing” with a girl. all the while, he was getting closer and closer to will, and we as an audience were seeing the parallels between mileven and byler all throughout season two. the only romantic scenes between el and mike occurred- once again- when mike believed will could possibly die, OR after he saw will dancing with a girl at the snowball. mike and el’s relationship is built on their mutual need for love. el had no one during seasons one and two, even in season two she often felt betrayed by hopper. mike was the first person to treat her like a human being with feelings. mike needed someone to care for him the same way will did when will was gone or had the possibility of dying. whether he realized this or not, mike was projecting his feelings for will (whether it be platonic or romantic) onto eleven. in season three, their relationship has transformed from something innocent and cute, into a blurb of making out and petty fighting. they aren’t “in love”, in fact mike doesn’t even love her romantically anymore. that is the symbolism behind the coke scene. mike doesn’t like the “new” version of the “coke” - his relationship with el- he’s disgusted by it.

 then lucas says, “so you prefer the original thing?” and mike replies, “i’m not talking about the thing, i’m talking about new coke.” even though “the thing” is a movie reference, it could also be perceived as symbolism as well. “the thing” now representing mike and el’s relationship, and “new coke” representing mike deflecting from his true feelings towards will and about his relationship with el. everytime mike has had to ask himself if he prefers the “original” thing with el, and with will, he tries to make up excuses, or convince himself he’s still in love with her... which he clearly isn’t from the way he looked in their last kiss scene. he pretends everything is fine and that he doesn’t feel these things, and claims to be talking about “new coke” ... the deflection.

tl/dr: mike is not in love with el and he doesn’t want to admit it. he prefers their original relationship from seasons one and two. max prefers her original relationship with lucas from season two and is ready to leave him for good (sadly bc i love lumax).

anyways, someone has probably pointed this out already but i just wanted to write this because i have been thinking about this a lot recently. reblog if you read the whole thing lol

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E8; Chapter Eight, The Mind Flayer - [Pt. 6 - FINAL PART]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside.

A/n: we're so close to season 3 you have no idea how excited I am 😭 will and you are ADORABLE in s3. Enjoy a sprinkle of Byler in this ch. for now, sorry it couldn't be more 😂

Oo also, the pov flashbacks are kinda terrible but its kind of on purpose depending how old they're supposed to be. The younger they're supposed to be the more straightforward if that makes sense

Warnings: so much angst ahead, oof, my goodness. Buckle up kids :> this is a quite ambitious chapter but hopefully I handled it okay. Possibly the longest chapter in Cosmic history?? I think??

||Will's POV||

The vulgar smell of chemicals lingers in my nose and sticks to the back of my throat as my eyes adjust to the blinding light.

Immediately I feel his icy presence, and felt myself losing control and all sense of self in a matter of seconds.

But I was still moving, squirming, but I'm not the one commanding my body.

Shit, not again!

This has been happening on and off since he got me, he goes silent until he needs me. But lately, it's all the time. Usually I stand a fighging chance to break free but this time he's in full control. I want to scream and cry, tell my mom I'm here, I'm here! But he won't let me. I'm still trapped in this small corner of my mind, and the longer he stays the smaller the prison gets.

There are four(?) figures looking at me, but it's hard to make out their faces at first. Mom! Mom is here, she'll help me, I know it. And... Jonathan!

Help me! I'm so sorry! I couldn't control it, he made me! He made me!

They don't hear me, everytime I try to speak, yell, cry or do anything, he won't let me. It's been like that since I was admitted. Since the fire in the tunnels.

Just thinking about the pain makes him angry, I can sense it.

I recognize another face, the man they asked me to identify but couldn't. I know I know him. I know I can trust him. But the fog... Ever since the monster got me, a fog has been spreading in my brain, making me forget things. People.

The man, Hopper, I think his name is, steps towards me with a look of concern. He's cautious of me, I can tell. Not that I blame him, but again it makes me want to cry, even though I'm not in control. But I still feel the pain, like the sting in my wrists and ankles as he fights against the restraints.

It's then I fully process I'm actually tied up. I don't have time to react before I hear my own voice speaking without my permission.

"What? What?" I watch as passenger in my own body as he makes me look around the room and down at the restraints. "What is this?"

Nobody answers, and I'm beginning to grow fearful myself. I know they wouldn't hurt me, but they might have to. In order to get him out. And I'm worried about how they plan on doing that.

"What? What is this?" He repeats.

Again, nobody answers, and he fights harder against the restraints hurting me more.

"Why am I tied up?"

Mom steps out from the shadows and I calm a bit, the real me, anyway. She kneels down in front of me, looking up at me seriously.

"Will, we just want to talk to you." She says.

I'm here! I want to talk too, Mom, please hear me.

"We're not gonna hurt you." She says gently.

I know Mom, please just tell me what's going on!

My head rips up, making me look at everyone in the room frantically. There's still one figure I can't quite make out, but he doesn't seem to care about them.

"Where am I?" He demands.

The man kneels down next to me, and I can feel the monster's anger and agitation. He's threatened.

The man holds up a piece of paper, a drawing. I recognize at once that this is something else the fog has touched. I know it, and it must be something I made. Fear takes over me; my own, real fear of the monster that was now apart of me, but I also feel his fear. All I know is the drawing upsets him, and he knows something I don't.

"Recognize this?" Hopper asks, and the shadow monster shakes my head. "Do you recognize this?"

My head shakes again, and I barely hear a soft 'no' come from my lips.

I'm now looking at Mom again, she's staring deep into my eyes. My body isn't mine anymore, but I swear when she looks at me, she's looking at me. Like she knows not only that I'm trapped and that this is not me talking, moving, answering, but she knows exactly where I am. She's looking at my real self that's trapped in this small corner in the back of my mind and I'm certain I'd be crying if I could.

"We wanna help you," She says to me. "But to do that, we have to understand how to kill it."

Oh no.

His anger explodes in an instant, so bright and so intense that even I find myself feeling annoyed. But I remind myself that it's not my anger. I want to help. I want to tell them, but I still can't. Instead, my voice comes out in a hostile shout that makes my mom jump.

"Why am I tied up?" They both try to calm me, calm him. But it doesn't work. "Why am I tied up? Why am I tied up?"

Mom shakes her head, and it's clear to see how uncomfortable she is growing. I just wish she knew for sure this isn't me yelling at her.

He continues shouting the same thing, and I can feel my throat start to sting and ache from screaming.

"Why am I tied up?! Why am I tied up?!" Hopper pushes me back, and my wrists and ankles and even chest begin to sting as he fights against the wires again. "WHY AM I TIED UP?! WHY AM I TIED UP?!"

The lights begin to flicker and my body continues to kick and scream but not the words I wanted to scream. It's just the same question, and he won't stop growing louder. I see the figures, Jonathan and Mike...! But they're scared of me. They're backing away, and Mike briefly looks down at his hand and behind the post. The figure had grabbed his hand, but I still can't quite make them out.

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

"WHY AM I TIED UP?!" He screams, now fighting hard against Hopper's hands which are now trying to pin me back. And the more he screams, the deeper my voice goes and I swear it sounds less and less like my own voice. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Please... Please, somebody help me.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Hopper now has his arms wrapped around me, and I know it's out of restraint but it's also gentle and sympathetic like a hug. He knows I wouldn't do this, I can tell because he holds me tight and I even hear him mumble encouraging things trying to calm me.

My mom does the same, but I can feel the furious look welded to my face as he screams at her, and yet she still tries to comfort me.

"-sweetie,"

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

"-honey, it's okay."

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Let me go! Leave me and family alone! Go away!

I know it must hear me, but since I am no longer in control all I can do is try to fight it. It's hard, but I don't give up.

Stop it! Just stop it!

I focus as much as I can, as much as I can muster. All I can focus on is the hurt and fear in everyone's eyes. Mike's, Jonathan's, and my moms. Hers hurts the most.

Suddenly I feel my body start to weaken, and my voice starts to lower in volume. But I still feel helpless no matter how hard I fight.

He's angry with me now.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

The shift in Mom's eyes keeps me going. She can tell I'm fighting, but I don't think she knows I can't hold out much longer.

Mom, please...

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go..."

My breath is harder and harder to find, and my shoulders heave as my lungs fight for breath. But I can feel it; I slowed him down.

"Go..." he mumbles weakly.

The lights stop flickering and Hopper lets me go. Mom stands briefly to sit across from me on the chair. She watches me carefully, and I can feel the tiniest bit of relent from him.

"Do you know what March 22nd is?" She asks calmly.

He's trying to figure out what to do, he's calculating. And he must be pushing back because I realize that that day sounds familiar. But the way she talks it seems like I should know.

"It's your birthday,"

The fog is coming for me. I can't remember my own birthday, and I've already forgotten other things about myself. Maybe if I keep talking to him?

Please, just let me go!

He wants me gone completely, and already I feel myself slipping back out of whatever control I had. He's winning.

Go away! Please, just go away. Go away... Go away... Go away.

But that's when she sees me again, she looks directly at the real me thats trapped and fighting for my life.

"Your birthday."

All I can do is listen to her, cling to her voice as the fog closes in on me. But I feel it start to slow when she continues, her voice as soft as ever.

"When you turned eight, I gave you that huge box of crayons. Do you remember that?"

Mom smiles a bit as she thinks about it, and I feel a single grain of strength returns to me. I can almost picture the lost memory, it comes back in small details, like a blurred home video with lots of static.

"It was 120 colors," she says, and I can see tears building up in her eyes. "And all your friends, they got you Star Wars toys, but all you wanted to do was draw with all your new colors."

Her smile grew a bit, not once looking away from me and I noticed an overwhelming gleam of pride. But still, I listen completely hooked on her every word. And I don't know if it is because of me, or what, but it almost feels like he's stopped too.

"And you drew this big spaceship, but it wasn't from a movie." She shook her head, gleaming at me still even if her voice began to break. "I-I-It was your spaceship."

Rainbow ship...!

"A rainbow ship is what you called it," her bottom lip began to shake before she smiled brightly once more as she spoke. "A-and you must have used every color in the box. I took that with me to Melvald's and I put it up and I told everyone who came in, 'My son drew this,'"

'Mom! Come on, it's not funny! Just take it down!'

'Honey, how are people supposed to know how great this is if I don't show them?' She asks.

'Mo~m!'

"And you were so embarrassed," she chuckles.

I'm remembering... Mom, I remember! I'm remembering!

But she still can't hear me, I'm still not in control. But he's listening. He's quiet.

"But I was so proud," Mom leans forward looking deep into my eyes. "I was so, so proud."

Mom...

She's fighting back tears now and I hate now more than ever I can't speak my own thoughts.

Mom, please! Keep talking, it's working. Just please keep talking...

Another voice speaks instead.

"Do you remember the day Dad left?"

My head whips up to see Jonathan, and for a moment I don't even know who was in control. I can feel it working, clinging to the stories they are telling me. They feel like home even if I don't remember.

It hurts to see his eyes are watering, and he looks just as worried and sad as Mom.

Like the crayon story I try and search for the memory. I feel as if I'm reaching around in the darkness, trying to find any kind of detail that might help me remember. And he doesn't get mad at me when I don't respond.

He walked towards me instead, and kneels down beside me.

"We stayed up all night building Castle Byers..."

I can feel that my face has softened over time, but still all I can do is listen. He's watching Jonathan, and I can feel his silence. Not his absence, he's still there inside me but it's like he's trying to make sense of what these moments are and why they're affecting me. Regardless, moments of that night came flooding back to me.

'I'm trying, Jonathan!' I whine, stopping to hit the ground with the hammer out of frustration before dropping it all together. "It's this stupid thing, it's balance must be off or something.

'Don't blame the hammer, Will,' Jonathan jokes dryly, not even looking at me.

I drop the hammer in frustration, I practically threw it and I begin to sniffle.

'Well, I do! This stupid hammer isn't doing the one thing it's suppose to do. How are we supposed to make Castle Byers if he's not helping?'

I go quiet, realizing what I had just said. I look to Jonathan shyly, and he's already stopped his hammer to look at me.

'We tried, Jonathan,' I mumble, sniffling. 'but it's no use. Let's just go home.'

'Go home?' He asks. 'No way! We said we were going to build Castle Byers, we always said we would. And we are. With or without Dad. He'll just have to miss out,'

"just like you drew it." Jonathan tells me, his face scrunching up a bit as he chuckles. "And it took so long because you were so bad at hammering."

But you were still patient with me. You helped me get through it even though you were going through the same thing... And I never thanked you for that.

I feel my mouth begin to twitch as I try to say the words, but nothing comes out. It was working, it was almost working! But I don't think he can tell...

"And then it started raining, but we stayed out there anyway." Like Mom, his voice started to crack. "And we were both sick for like a week after that."

You let me stay in your room and we played cards and other games while we were stuck in bed.

"But we just had to finish it, didn't we?"

Suddenly, I felt my fingers tap the sides of the chair. But, it was me! I think it was me!

"We just had to." Jonathan repeated, his voice still breaking.

Jonathan, Mom, anyone! Is anyone seeing its working?

"Do you remember the first day that we met?"

It was Mike speaking now, and my head turned to meet him. Again! I can't quite be sure if it was really my doing but any question of it went out the window when I saw his expression. He had stepped forward, and I noticed he was crying.

"It was... It was the first day of kindergarten." He spoke with a big lump in his throat. "I knew nobody."

A swingset... I remember a swingset...

"I had no friends and..." he sniffled. "I just felt so alone and so scared, but..."

He looked up at me, and for a brief moment it was the same look from that day. The details were still fuzzy but, that look I recognized. Sad but hopeful.

"I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too." He fought a hiccup as he spoke, the kind from crying and another tear rolled down his cheek. "You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and... I asked."

'Hi, um, my name's Mike...'

He was looking at me, and he kept shuffling on his feet. He looked a lot more nervous than mean. I look up at him, and decide giving my name wouldn't hurt.

"I'm Will," I whisper.

"I asked if you wanted to be my friend." He chokes. "And you said yes..."

"Do... Do you wanna be my friend?"

Everyone else was picking on me for not knowing anyone. But he wants to be my friend!

I smile, pointing to the open swing next to me. "Yeah! Wanna play?"

Mike smiled at me, and took the seat. He looked pretty happy. But I am too!

"You said yes," he croaks. "It was the best thing I've ever done."

I can feel my face start to break, every twitch is a sign I'm gaining control even though my fingers are still moving as well. With all the strength I can gather, I'm able to turn my head at Mom. Fighting against him feels like I'm swimming up stream.

Mom, please get me out. I think I'm losing...

For once I feel hopeful that she notices something when she starts searching my eyes, my expressions and I'm still fighting. I have to fight for every muscle, and doing that feels like every one of them is made of lead.

Mom must have caught something in my eyes cause of the look in hers. But it's too late. I can feel him pushing back again.

No! Leave. Me. Alone! Leave me alone. I want my mom! I just want my mom!

I feel an overwhelming chill and I feel my body temperature drop again, not even realizing it had started to creep up again. The fog was coming back, and quicker and stronger than ever until I could barely hold on.

Then I hear my voice again.

"Let me go."

No! No, stop! STOP!

But then Mom looks away and down at the floor, sighing, and I feel whatever crumb of hope I had dissapear.

What? No, Mom, look. Just please look! Talk to me, stay with me, just please don't leave!

She looks like she's contemplating something, and then she looks up at Mike asking a question with her eyes. I can't imagine what, but Mike seems to understand. Then, they both look past the post at the figure I had never made out.

"Sweetie, why don't you come say hi?" My mom croaks to the stranger.

My head moves to look all around the room and allowing me to look at the others expressions. They all watch expectantly, and when my eyes land on Mike's he nods at the figure.

My body tenses suddenly but I don't know why. He seems to though, and it feels like another wave of ice is pumped into my bloodstream.

For a moment, there's the sound of shuffling footsteps and I barely detect movement. Like they're inching away from the hiding spot.

Then she steps out from behind the thick sheet of white light wearing a timid, tearstreaked face.

Y/n! You're here!

The one blissful movement I have vanishes in an instant when he takes full control once more. My muscles tighten and I feel my jaw clench shut, and the pain of the wires against my skin comes back as he starts moving me again. My face curls and I hear my voice saying such bad things to her.

"Get out!" She winces, but this time she doesn't listen to him. "GO AWAY!"

"No," she states, but I can tell it's hard for her. "not until I talk to Will."

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"

"-Will" my mom tries.

My body starts to move again, fighting against the restraints and Hopper has to pin me back again.

I can feel his anger again. But there was something else too. The same thing I felt the first time he took total control.

Fear.

Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm trying. I'm fighting! I don't mean it, I don't mean it!

He still fights and kicks, but the longer I see her the less I care about the pain on my ankles and wrists. It's the look on her face, she's heartbroken. She looks destroyed. Just as upset as she was that night, and guilt pulls me back down. My strength for fighting him diminishes, but what stops it from dissapearing altogether is the fact she hasn't moved.

All she had done was take the seat across from me. And just... waited.

He kicked and screamed until I felt my limbs grow tired, but still she waited. Once again since I woke up, I'm happy that Hopper was here to hold me back so I didn't break free.

How are you not leaving? After all I did?

Finally, he starts to stop, and thats when I feel Hopper's hand slowly release me. And even though he stopped, the menacing glare he gave her never weakened.

"Will," she says finally. "I know... I know you're in there."

Like Mike, her voice is already strained as she speaks through her tears. Even her nose sounds a bit clogged and I feel my heart break and stomach sink all over again. How hard I was making her cry.

She sniffles, and she begins wringing her hands revealing her nerves. Then she raises them in defense, her arms still glued to her legs as she leans on them.

"I'm just here to talk, I promise."

I know, Y/n. I trust you. I really hope you know that.

He doesn't agree though, he's furious she's even here. Every nerve is standing on edge and I feel colder than ever.

Leave her alone!

I feel my nerves jump, he's still anxious to get away from her.

"What about the day I officially joined the party? Do you remember that?"

My heart is pounding violently against my ribcage almost to a point it hurts to breathe. She's looking into my eyes, likes she's trying to find me. I think she actually is. Just like what happened with the others, the picture is hard to find. It's all just too fuzzy. The small part of me that's left can tell Y/n knows my answer, and that she's dissapointed. But she still doesn't appear mad at me, even though she has every reason to be.

"It was around fifth grade," she began, "You guys had been friends with Dustin for almost a year, and even though everyone saw, and treated me as Dustin's sister... you didn't."

She paused for a moment, trying to keep her sobs in. I could tell by the way her jaw clenched and she bit the inside of her cheek. My own throat began to swell as I felt an enormous lump growing in the back. I hate seeing her so sad, and I hate even more that I'm the reason. She began shaking her head.

"Sometime during spring vacation, I remember Dustin coming up to me all cranky" she chuckled, and looked down at the floor lost in the memory. I waited for her to continue, wanting nothing more than to soak up the missing details when she smiled. "He had just come home from playing with you guys at Mikes, and he was holding a small yellow card with my name on it,"

Y/n grinned, looking at her hands wistfully as if she could still see the card in her hands.

And then she looks up at me, with a wide, trembling smile but there were still tears in her eyes.

"It was an invitation to your birthday party,"

The thick layer of static over the memory flickered, and for a brief second the image was clear and I could make out one thing. Just a small moment in time.

Y/n, she looked a lot younger. She was standing in my backyard. But she was off to the side, all alone. She was watching Lucas and Dustin bobbing for apples in a big pool.

"From you. You had insisted I come and you knew Dustin couldn't say no," she laughs.

"I was so excited, but," she sniffled, her smile falling. "even Lucas and Mike didn't bother to include me, they all forgot I was there and for a moment I thought nothing would change. But... then you came up to me, smiling all nervously, but without skipping a beat you asked me. You asked if I wanted to do something else."

"It was so casual, too. We weren't even proper friends yet, and it was your birthday party, but you knew something was wrong, and you asked me how I could feel more included."

Y/n shakes her head, seeming disbelieving.

"We talked for a bit, and then you offered to show me Castle Byers. 'It's just over the hill,' you told me. So we went - and figures, the guys never realized we were gone - but I thought it was, just, the best thing. We played in there for a few minutes, these toy cars were all you had in there at the time,"

She chuckled, and held up her hands to demonstrate something of size.

"I remember you had this Tonka Truck, it was just smaller than a toaster and you let me play with it. You said it always cheered you up, and maybe it would help me, too. You even let me keep it at the end of the day, cause you saw how happy I was, even though the truck wasn't what me so happy."

I could feel my face twitching again, my fingers drumming against the chair numbingly. And then I felt a single hot tear slide down my cheek, and his discomfort grew.

"But you told me something in Castle Byers that day, something I don't think I'll ever forget, even if I wanted to..." she was crying again. "You told me, that we could go talk to the others and convince them to let me join, that I could be your guys' friend... I asked you why you were being so nice to me, why you wanted me to apart of your group,"

A small sob came out in the form of a chuckle, and she wiped a tear off her cheek.

"And you told me it was because that was your birthday wish."

The room was dead silent again, and I could hear sniffles coming not only from Y/n, but Mom and Jonathan, too.

"Sure enough, we were all the best of friends just days later. We were building forts, playing cards, I think we even got our walkies a few months later and stayed up all night leraning morse code... You helped me make that happen, Will. And I'll always be greatful for that."

Another tear slips down my cheek, but I feel my face is as still as stone. The next thing I feel is his icy grip pulling me back down, and this time I know in my gut it's for good. In once desperate attempt, I scream for my muscles - my arms, legs, head, anything to see if I can move. And that's when I realize, my fingers are still wiggling. I don't think he can tell. I don't think he knows.

He's too focused on her! I just need them to look. I can get a message out. My fingers tap just a little louder as I try to remember the right combination.

Right. Here.

Right. Here.

As I focus all my energy into the message, I hear her broken voice speak again.

Right. Here.

Right. Here.

Here.

"Will, if-if you're in there," she looks around at eveyone else in the room and back to me. "Please, just talk to us. Say anything, just please help us help you."

Right. Here.

Right. Here.

The fog grows, stretching farther over me and chilling my body.

Right. Here.

Come on, hurry up. Anyone!

Here.

Am I remembering it wrong?

Here.

Here.

Hopper jumps up abruptly, glancing quickly across the room, and back once more at me. Suddenly, his hand dives into his pocket to fish something out.

Here.

Here.

Here.

He pulls out a vial - or is a needle? - I can't quite make it out in the light but I see him uncap whatever it is, walking towards me.

Here.

Here.

Here.

It plunges into my arm and before I know it I feel myself growing sleepy. The last thing I feel is cold fear and the feel my fingers slowing growing sluggish against the cardboard until it stops altogether.

Here...

||3rd Person POV||

Will awakes once more, attempting to process the many things flooding his senses. The return of the chemicals in his nostrils and throat, the blinding white light blocking his vision, and the feeling of being watched. But this time, he does not wake to a dead silent room, but a string of all too familiar music floods his ears.

The first notes of Should I Stay or Should I Go explode through the quiet air, and strangely enough for Will, everyone inside with him has dawned an all new demeanor. They aren't weary anymore, rather they are determined. Jonthan is the first to take a seat across from his brother, an expecting look in his eyes.

"Do you remember the first time I played you this?"

Will's body sits completely still, a lost look in his eyes.

"Mom and Dad were both arguing in the next room," Jonathan continues. "So I played you the mix tape I made you. And it was the first time you got into music. Real music."

Steadily, his fingers begin to tap a new pattern all unbeknownst to the Mind Flayer who watches his captors studiously. Particularly the young Henderson girl lingering in the corner awaiting her turn.

All the while, Hopper stands behind the Byers boy, walkie behind his back as he echoes the boy's message to the other half of the team waiting inside to translate.

Lucas, Dustin, and Nancy surround the kitchen table. Each with a task of their own.

"Dash, dot, dash, dot," Dustin mumbles, feverishly scribbling them on a piece of paper.

Lucas and Max scan the coordinating letter provided on an old guide.

"Dash, dot, dash... Yeah, got it!" Lucas exclaims. "C!"

Nancy transcribes onto a fresh piece of paper and this process continues as the others take turns talking to Will. Mike is next.

"And then the party escaped into the sewers," he recalls excitedly. "and there were those big insect things, and you guys were still on level one. Then you cast Fog Cloud and you saved us. You saved the whole party!"

Another pattern by Will turned into another letter on paper as the kids listened intently to Hopper's incoming message.

"L!"

"Dash dash-"

"-O!"

"We were so happy to see snow," Y/n explains, arms waving as she reimagines the moment. "and we got so wrapped up in our snowball fight, we didn't see my mom open the garage and when you ducked, I knocked over the old floor lamp that had been sitting out there. We had to spend the rest of the day cleaning it up, but we couldn't stop laughing,"

"-S,"

"You saw how sad Y/n was," Joyce says, knowing she was just about to reveal a fact to the girl in the room, a fact she might have missed out. But this doesn't stop her from telling the story, or breaking away from her son's gaze. "and when you two came back from Castle Byers, I saw her thanking you for your Tonka Truck."

"-E."

"and I pulled you aside before she left, and I told you that we couldn't afford to buy another one,"

Y/n's eyes flicker from Joyce back to Will, swallowing the entirely new perspective her side of the story revealed.

"-G."

Joyce began to choke on her words at the pride of her son, as well as Y/n who stood off in the corner with a simultaneous swelling, and breaking of her heart. "You said she should have it because she was sad. She's sad, Mom, and I want to make that go away."

"-A."

"I love you so much," Joyce tearfully coos.

"-T."

"So, so much."

"-E!"

The play button ejects on the Byers boom box, the music coming to an end and the others gather around Nancy at the table. Will's message drips off their tongues simultaneously and a chill spreads through the air at what it reads.

"CLOSE GATE"

A loud, shrill ring pierces the chilled air and a total of six heads whip up at the startling noise of the Byers phone; All who are inside, and the sixth belonging to Will.

The rest in the shed follow suit, and they experience the plunging feeling of fear as they realize what is about to happen.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dustin spews through his clenched jaw, the first of his group to reach the phone.

He rips it off the line and slams it back down.

The others look around at one another, silently wondering if they were in the clear. A second shrill ring answers their question, and Dustin scrambles to hang up the phone. Nancy beats him to it, and rips the phone - mount and all - and throws it to the ground with an angred grunt.

Everyone sighs, and Max is first to voice their shared concern.

"Do you think he heard that?"

"It's just a phone," Steve replies, his tone of voice betraying his intended confidence. "It could be anywhere... Right?"

Without his permission, Will's eyelids flutter closed and his head begins to twitch.

The Mind Flayer had begun his search.

"Hey," Joyce jumps up worriedly, placing her palm on her son's knee gently shaking it to get his attention. "Hey, can you hear me?"

His bretahing grows increasingly ragged, his eyes moving under his eyelids as the tunnels begin to spread under his command.

Hopper kneels down beside Will, his voice grave. "It knows. It knows where we are."

"Shit," Joyce hisses.

She jumps from her seat altogether and grabs the remaining dose of anesthesia and plunges into Will's other arm. His head drops in seconds and Hopper, Y/n and Jonathan flood outside onto the lawn. Their eyes scan the trees behind them, as well as the rest of the backyard but it is eerily silent.

Until the piercing cry of the Demodogs carries through the air, and across the night sky announcing their advances.

The others hear it even from inside the house, and they near the window. Moonlight spills onto their faces, illuminating their fear as they realize the dangers to come.

"That's not good," Dustin breaths, paralyzed.

The quartet return to the shed, pushing themselves past the makesshift curtains blanketing the door.

"They're coming!" Jonathan cried to his mother and Mike.

Everyone scrambles to untangle Will from his restraints, and scurry inside, Will over Jonathan's shoulder.

The only one to linger is Hopper, who hesitates outside the shed, and goes back for the rifle that sat amongst the pile of the sheds discarded things.

He's the last to enter the house, closing and locking the door behind him, and yet he does not know what good it will do them. He marches across the kitchen, grabbing the other rifle he had nabbed from the lab, and enters the living room. His eyes widen when he sees the children packed against the windows on the couch.

"Hey." He barks. "Hey, get away from the windows!"

They scramble off the couch and one by one everyone else files into the living room as they prepare. Hopper's scanning eyes land on Jonathan and he holds up one of the rifles.

"Do you know how to use this?"

"What?" Jonathan asks, still processing the sudden change of events.

"Can you use this?" Hopper seethes, turning red in the face as his impatience grows.

Another voice answers.

"I can,"

Dustin and Jonathan part as Nancy steps forward, and catches the rifle in her hands without a second thought. Her and Hopper cock their guns, and take their aim. In a matter of moments, everyone is packed in against one other in a protective huddle, their hearts beating as loud as drums. Some were lucky - and quick - enough to get their hands on anything they could use as a weapon. Apart from Y/n, who began wringing out her hands and attempting to shake out her nerves, and Steve who wielded his signature weapon; the spiked bat.

The tense silence grows thicker, hanging in the air far longer than any one of them would have preferred. The occasional chitter could be heard, and the rusting of branches followed all too soon.

"Where are they?" Max cries, her fear grows when she finds herself without a weapon.

Subconsciously, she moves herself tighter to be near Lucas who has drawn his wrist rocket.

Another silence, and the next noise to be heard beside their ragged breaths is the sudden groaning of the beast who growing closer by the second.

What sounded to a select few like a human cry was drowned out in the several thuds and more screeches from the Demodogs. The sound of branches breaking outside brought everyone's attention - and aim - to the dining room window visible from where they stood.

"What are they doing?" Nancy mumbled through her fearful panting.

Everyone could see the leaves shake violently against the window as if something had landed in the bushes.

The battle cries of the Demodogs flew from window to window at an alarming speed, as did the barrels of Hopper and Nancy's guns.

Everyone watches with great worry and confusion as the battle cries quickly turn to cries of pain. And for one small moment they think they hear the sounds of bones crushing as it screeches in pain.

Before their minds can conjure any possible explanation, the far left window pane shatters as the body of a Demodog comes crashing onto the living room floor. Violent cries of terror rip from everyone's throats as they jump out of the way, turning on the intruder.

Their guards lower on a single notch as they realize the thing lays completely lifeless. And yet, they creep forward to examine the body, Hopper the closest of all as he advances on what he hopes is its corpse.

"Holy shit," Dustin whispers.

"Is it dead?" Max gapes, wearily inching forward towards the monster.

Hopped takes a deep breath, gun still drawn and finger on the trigger and inches his boot closer to the Demodog. It's lifeless head falls to the side limply, and everyone breathes what they know to be a temporary sigh of relief.

The relief is snatched up in seconds, and everyone's guard returns when they hear a soft wooden creak coming from the front door. Everyone returns to their position, weapons drawn ready to fight.

An unusual sight turns their heads as they watch the deadbolt unlock by itself. It's sharp click booms in their ears like thunder. Everyone creeps forward by a mere few steps, and in their heightened adrenaline fueled state, they begin to questions the Demodogs capabilities if only for a fleeting moment before dismissing it altogether.

They watch in awe as the chain lock on the door, slides itself unlocked, and drops instantly, swing limply against the door. It creates a taunting scrape as it grazes the door.

Everyone wonders what they are about to face, everyone apart from a the dutiful chief, a missing experiment, and a certain boy who does not dare let himself entertain the idea in fear of another painful heartbreak.

With soft and muffled clicks from the tumblers, the wooden door creaks open painfully slow. A worn out pair of white sneakers fit around a dainty pair of feet cross the threshold and onto the wooden floors.

All weapons lower immediately in shock as they gape at the sight before them. Standing across the room in a brand-new wardrobe and slightly longer hair blending perfectly with her usual bleeding nose and fierce look in her eye was none other than El.

Her eyes scan the small crowd of familiar and unfamiliar shock-ridden faces until they land on the one she had never stopped dreaming about. Her heart skips a beat when she does not seem him at first before bursting altogether when he steps out from behind Hopper's towering frame.

His widened eyes are swimming in tears as he gazes at her as of she were mirage. Her hard and concentrated glare melts immediately into vulnerability as she meets his eyes, feeling eerily similar to him as if he would inevitably disappear as soon as she woke up.

And instantaneously, matching bright smiles break out on their faces when they know.

Neither of them were dreaming, and at long last, they had finally found one another again.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

PLEASE!!! Don't stop fighting for black lives. This has been said a thousand times and it shouldn't have ever needed be said in the first place but just because it isn't on the news as much anymore, that it's not "trending" anymore doesn't mean it's over. Please continue fighting back and doing what you can. Links below as usual.

Protect Protestors From Federal Officers

[my city of Portland is not the only one to face this, as there are plans of using this tactic on other cities trump views as a threat. Please help!]

[Link]

Black Trans Education Foundation GoFundMe

"We're raising money to provide $3,000 scholarships directly to 20 black trans students."

Donate if you can and please, please share!!

[Link]

rown & black businesses damaged by the protests

"In efforts to help Black & Brown businesses that were damaged during riots this weekend, @ buyblackatl and @ spoiledberry are raising money. Please share this, and if you or anyone you know owns a Black/Brown owned business that was impacted, please contact us. 🖤"

[Link]

+++

Tag List: @dickkwad​​ @aimee-lucass​​ @iblesstherainsdown-in-africa​​  @miscellaneoustoasts​ @happyandlonely-blog​ @missmulti​ @youpi-chan​ @peeperparkour​ @ba-responds​ @bibliophilesquared​ @blogforhoes​ @witch-of-all-things-soft​ @shawkneecaps​ @whothefuckstolemykeds​ @mirdall @fishswimbetterunderwater​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​ @stranger-things4​ @heavenlycat567​ @nightbu-g​ @grapesauze​

DM me, or drop by my inbox if you want to be added!

[rizahawkais]

I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

[yozinha-z]

He compartido 1473 publicaciones este 2022

¡Son 1254 más que en 2021!

87 publicaciones originales (6 %)

1386 reblogueos (94 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@glassamphibians

@smolcattowo

@sandersgrey

@mortalsbowbeforeme

@milfpoisonivys

He etiquetado 683 publicaciones en 2022

#hxh: 74 publicaciones

#dc comics: 66 publicaciones

#aftg: 58 publicaciones

#trc: 57 publicaciones

#naruto: 49 publicaciones

#poison ivy: 33 publicaciones

#pamela isley: 32 publicaciones

#ronan lynch: 31 publicaciones

#harley quinn: 31 publicaciones

#personal: 30 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 102 characters

#i know someone i follow read it because i discovered it from their posts but i also don't remember who

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

I might be wrong but why did Diego (I think) say they abandoned Grace for 13 years when Luther was there until four years ago (in season 1)?

7 notas. Fecha de publicación: 26 de junio de 2022

4

“Yet again you re suffering from daddy issues” love it Five, I know what you mean

11 notas. Fecha de publicación: 1 de julio de 2022

3

Man I have so many feelings about stranger things season 4 but, what was it with the 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 everytime Will and Mike looked at each other??? 

12 notas. Fecha de publicación: 29 de mayo de 2022

2

Sometimes I forget most people haven't read the aftg extra content, and that those who have don't like it too much but a thing I like a lot is that Nora said that when Coach dies Neil starts crying and Andrew is there for him, and I think that represents a lot their relationship, even though I can't explain why though, lol

12 notas. Fecha de publicación: 31 de marzo de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

When did Thomas say that he loved Alastair more than anything?

14 notas. Fecha de publicación: 11 de junio de 2022

Descubre tu resumen del 2022 en Tumblr →

[boopboopbichie]

December // Reddie

Hey guys. I’m so excited for christmas and I just love everything about december so I wrote this. I hope you enjoy.  

12/3

Eddie’s eyes fluttered open and he expected to see Richie beside him, but instead he saw an empty pillow. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up in the bed, stretching his limbs in the process. “Richie?”, he called out and rubbed his eyes. When there was no answer he untangled himself from the sheets and stood up. As soon as his feet touched the wooden floor a shiver went through him and he groaned tiredly, pulling Richie’s jumper over his head. A smile found his face as he breathed in the scent of his boyfriend’s perfume, that was slightly mixed with a smell of smoke. Normally Eddie hated the smell of smoke, but somehow Richie made it work and it gave Eddie a feeling of comfort.  He then stepped into his slippers and walked to the kitchen. He figured that Richie would be there, eating some sugary cereal or something. But he wasn’t. Eddie scratched his neck confused and looked around the empty apartment. 

“Richie?”, he called out again and started pouring himself a glass of water. Still no answer. He was about to text him when he heard someone cuss from outside. He put his phone down on the counter and then went to look out the window. A white duvet covered the entire front yard and Eddie suddenly understood why it was so cold. It was still snowing, huge snowflakes falling from the sky making everything look like a wonderland. His eyes scanned the front yard and then he spotted Richie. Richie was sitting in the snow, a bunch of snow in front of him as had he just dropped a bucket of snow in that spot. Eddie chuckled and opened the window. “What’re you doing asswipe?”, he called out, gaining Richie’s attention. Richie was wearing a beanie and the hair that stuck out from underneath was filled with snow. He was also wearing a knitted sweater and some gloves. Eddie’s heart melted when he looked at his boyfriend, sitting there in the snow. But his stomach also filled with worry because Richie wasn’t wearing a jacket. Richie stood up and walked to the window, resting his arms on the windowsill, sending Eddie a boyish smile that made Eddie’s cheeks heat up. Up close Eddie noticed that Richie also had snowflakes in his eyelashes and for some reason that made him look even more beautiful. 

“Morning Eds. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you, but you were so tired yesterday and when I woke up I saw the snow and I got so excited”, he explained and gave Eddie an apologetic smile. “It’s ok. Give me a kiss though”. He reached out of the window and cupped Richie’s face to plant a kiss on his lips. Richie melted into the kiss and he felt his body heat up. When Eddie pulled back he stroked Richie’s cold cheek with his thumb. “Where you building a snowman or something?”. Richie’s face lit up and he nodded eagerly. “Yes! I had made a pretty big ball but then I slipped and fell on it and now it’s ruined”. Richie’s childishness made Eddie feel like he could start tearing up any minute now. He loved him so much. “Ok baby. I’ll get dressed and then I’ll come help you”, he cooed making Richie’s smile grow twice the size. He nodded and pressed another kiss to Eddie’s lips. He started walking away then but Eddie stopped him. “Also. Put on a jacket, you’ll get sick”. Richie chuckled but then nodded.

“Alright Eds. I’ll put on a jacket for you”. Eddie smiled and then closed the window. He walked to the bedroom and got dressed. He then went to the kitchen and grabbed his phone, before putting on his own jacket, a scarf and a beanie. Then he opened the door and the sight made his knees go weak. Richie was making a snow angel and Eddie pulled out his phone to snap a picture. Eddie was always taking pictures of Richie. He had thousands of pictures of his boyfriend doing random stuff. He then put his phone back in his pocket and went out in the cold, closing the door behind him.

The build the snowman and had a snowball fight for about two hours until their feet started hurting from the cold and they were soaked from the snow. They then went inside and got changed.

Richie said he was going to take a shower and while he did, Eddie made breakfast, humming a christmas song he had gotten stuck in his head.

“That looks good Eds”, Richie’s voice sounded from behind him and Eddie turned his head to look at him with a smile. “Ah. There you are. It’s done now”, he smiled and put the eggs on two plates. He then felt Richie’s arms sneak around his waist and warmth filled his body. “I love you”. Richie’s voice made Eddie shiver and he then felt his boyfriend’s warm lips underneath his ears. He hummed satisfied and felt his eyes flutter shut. “I love you too baby”.

12/5

“That is way too big Richie”, Eddie said making Richie wink at him. “That’s what your mom told me yesterday”. Eddie slapped his chest and rolled his eyes. “The tree asshole! It won’t fit”, he hissed and gestured at the tree Richie had fallen in love with. “Nonsense. It’ll fit”, Richie just answered and admired the tree. Eddie rolled his eyes again and shook his head. “Find another one”. “But this one’s the best one”. “It’s too tall!” “We’re getting this one”.

And they did. Eddie wondered why he had given in, but the smile Richie had sent him when he had said yes made everything else seem irrelevant but now that they were looking at the tree that, in no way, fit in their living room he groaned. “I told you it was too tall!”, he said and looked at Richie, who was still smiling stupidly. “I’ll make it fit”.

And he did. He spent an hour, but he did it. He made the stupid tree fit and for some reason that made Eddie fall even more in love with him.

12/10

“Richie! Please be careful!”, Eddie yelled at his boyfriend who was on the roof of the house, hanging up christmas lights. Eddie was holding two mugs of hot chocolate, one for Richie who had been outside putting up decorations for several hours. Richie always got way too into things and so of course he had bought a ton of christmas lights for the house. “Don’t worry Eds. I’m always careful”, he yelled back and fastened the last spot of the festoon. He then crawled back down using the ladder, making Eddie cringe.

Richie then reached the ground and went to Eddie. He planted a kiss on his forehead and sent him a small smile. “See? Careful. I’ll go turn them on, wait here”, he said and jogged inside to turn on the lights. Eddie shook his head with a smile and suddenly the house had been lit up with what looked like thousands of lights. Richie was by his side in no time, grabbing the mug from his hand. Eddie admired the lights impressed and then looked up at Richie who had the proudest smile on his face, making Eddie giggle like a schoolgirl in love. Seeing that proud smile on his boyfriend’s face made his heart fill with love and happiness and he felt like life couldn’t get any better. “It’s beautiful baby”, he almost whispered and Richie nodded. “And it’s our house Eds. Our house”. They finished their chocolate, admiring the lights and sharing loving kisses.

Later that night they decorated the three they’d bought and Eddie finally felt like he could have a perfect christmas.

12/20 Richie watched with a smile as his boyfriend wrapped up the present they had bought for Mike the other day. Eddie glanced up and when he looked at Richie, Richie winked at him. He noticed the smaller boy’s cheeks redden and he smirked. 

“Are you blushing Eds?”, he asked and tilted his head to the side teasingly. Eddie rolled his eyes and finished up the present, putting it to the side. He then looked at Richie. “I’m most definitely not blushing asshole”. Richie just laughed and grabbed Eddie’s hand to pull him into his lap. “You were blushing Kaspbrak”, he whispered and planted a kiss to Eddie’s neck. He then noticed Eddie blushing again. “You’re blushing again”, he pointed out, causing Eddie to push himself away from Richie’s lap and stand up again. Richie frowned and pushed up his glasses. “Babe…”. Eddie looked at him and shook his head. “You know I hate it when you tease me when I blush”, Eddie mumbled and leaned against the counter. Richie nodded and stood up as well. “I’m sorry. I just think it’s cute how you still blush when I flirt with you”, he said and rested his arms on the counter on each side of Eddie. That made Eddie scoff. “Flirt? You can’t flirt for shit Tozier, I’m with you out of pity”, he joked and placed his hand on the taller boy’s cheek. Richie just laughed and nodded. “Of course you are”. He then pressed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “You talked about baking cookies today and I think that’s exactly what we should do right now”, he then said and pushed himself away from the counter to open the refrigerator. Eddie nodded and a smile appeared on his face. “Yes. Let’s do that”.

So Richie found the ingredients with instructions from Eddie and Eddie mixed it together. When they baked it was mostly Eddie baking and Richie being annoying. Richie was sitting on the counter watching Eddie mix the dough. Eddie was beautiful, with freckles covering his cheeks. He had grown out his hair so now it was curly like Richie’s, just not as much and Richie loved everything about it. He admired how Eddie’s eye color seemed to change with the seasons. In wintertime they became grey and that was Richie’s favorite. He had flour on his cheek and Richie reached over to remove it, making Eddie look at him with a smile that made Richie’s stomach do flips. Four years had passed since Eddie had kissed Richie for the first time when they were fourteen but Richie still felt like he fell more in love with every second that passed. He never knew it was possible to love a person this much until he met Eddie. He also never thought he could feel this much happiness, it felt like his heart was about to burst everytime he looked at Eddie.

When the cookies were done, they wrapped up in blankets and watched the polar express and Eddie fell asleep in Richie’s arms. They’d moved into a small, cheap house earlier that year. Richie had worked at McDonalds every day for a year while Eddie had worked at the library so that they could afford it. He realised that 18 was an early age to buy a house, but it had been a lot cheaper than a lot of apartments and they had both needed to get out of their parents’ houses. While Richie was admiring his baby sleeping in his arms he teared up a bit because he realised that everyday for the rest of his life would be like this.

12/23 Richie opened the door to the house and took off his jacket, hanging it on the hanger before walking into the living room where Eddie was watching the lion king 2. Richie smiled softly and walked over to press a kiss to his forehead. “Hi babe. Had a good day?”, he asked and Eddie nodded. “I’ve just been watching disney movies all day. How about you?”, he asked and Richie nodded as well. “Yeah. My mom asked me to tell you hi”. Richie had been visiting his mom at the home she was living in now. She’d been placed there for her drinking and to protect her from Richie’s dad. He felt bad for leaving her there during christmas but he didn’t want to invite her either, so he had just gone today to give her a present and drink some tea with her. “I’m sorry I didn’t go. But I can’t look at either of your parents without getting angry”, Eddie mumbled and Richie nodded, mostly to himself. “It’s fine Eds. I get it”. Eddie smiled and then turned his head to face the movie again. “Did Bev call you?”, Richie then asked and Eddie nodded. “Yeah. She just wanted to say that she and Ben will be here around 7pm tomorrow”. Richie sat down in the couch and grabbed Eddie’s hand. “Alright. And Bill and Mike around 6pm right?”. “Yep”. The losers were coming to celebrate christmas with them and Richie felt like a little kid again, he was so excited. Stan wasn’t coming though, since he didn’t celebrate christmas, but they’d planned to go visit him and Mike two days after christmas for a dinner. Stan was going to be out of town to visit family tomorrow anyway so Mike, who lived in an apartment with Stan, had said he’d come.

12/24

“Did you set the table Chee?”, Eddie asked while checking on the food in the oven. Richie nodded and leaned against the counter. “I sure did”. “And did you put the presents underneath the tree?”. “Yep”. “And you made sure the house looks alright?”.  “Gee, yes Eddie, please calm down”.  Eddie had been in the kitchen for most of the day, cooking. He’d told the other losers that they didn’t have to bring anything and that he could easily do the cooking. He regretted that now, but most of it was done. He had done it. It was 5:50pm and Bill and Mike could be here any second now.  Eddie took a deep breath and nodded  “I’m sorry. I just really want this to be good”. Richie smiled softly at his boyfriend and pulled him into a hug.  “It’s already good babe. Stop worrying”. Eddie nodded and rested his head on Richie’s chest.  “Yeah”.

Two hours later everyone had arrived and they were sitting at the table drinking redwine, eating and laughing. “No, Richie. Remember when you pissed off that racoon and you claimed it chased you all the way to the library?”, Beverly asked though laughter, making everybody else break into laughter as well. Everyone except Richie. He had a smile on his face though as he took a sip of his wine. “It did!”. “Sure”, Ben said, rolling his eyes, making Richie chuckle. He caught Eddie’s eyes from across the table and Eddie sent him a loving look, making Richie’s stomach fill with butterflies.

When they’d finished dinner around 9pm, they all gathered in the living room to exchange gifts. They’d taken the European tradition where they exchanged gifts on the 24th instead of waiting till the 25th. They’d all opened their presents and were thanking each other. Eddie had gotten Richie an expensive watch and Richie had attacked him with kisses. He still hadn’t given Eddie his present though and Eddie was getting impatient. “Richie. Can I please have my present now?”, he asked, kissing Richie’s knuckles. Richie chuckled and nodded. “Yeah ok. I’ll go get it Eddie Spaghetti”. When he came back he sat down on the floor in front of Eddie and pulled out a little present. He handed it to Eddie who immediately blushed. He ripped the paper off to reveal a little box. He glanced up at Richie who was biting his lip nervously. He then opened the box and his hand found his mouth. In it was a beautiful silver ring and he looked up at Richie again.  “It’s a promise ring. Because one day I’m going to put an engagement ring on that finger of yours, but until then I want you to have that one”, he said, his voice cracking a few times.  When Eddie didn’t answer he panicked.  “If you want it of course! I just… I don’t know. I wanted you t…”. Eddie silenced him with a kiss and then put the ring on. “It’s beautiful Richie. I love it so much. I love you so much”. They kissed again, earning a few cheers from their friends.

When the other losers left the house, Richie and Eddie cuddled up in bed. Eddie couldn’t stop fiddling with his ring. He had never been happier. Eddie fell asleep in Richie’s arms and Richie broke into tears. This was the first real christmas he’d ever had and it had been perfect.

12/31 “Stan! You came!”, Bev slurred and swung her arm around her best friend.  “Hey Bev. How much did you drink?”, Stan chuckled and grabbed the beer from her hand to take a sip. He’d been here as long as she had, but she was obviously very drunk and thought he’d just arrived. He’d been to the bathroom. “More than you, that’s for sure”, she laughed and let go of his shoulder again. Stan just shook his head and walked further into the living room where the other losers were dancing and drinking. 

Richie and Eddie were throwing a new years party and all the losers had shown up. Eddie was dancing with Richie while singing from the top of his lungs and Richie was looking at him with the most loving eyes anyone had ever seen. He loved seeing Eddie like this. All carefree and happy. He leaned down to press a kiss to his lips and then he heard Mike from the couch. “It’s almost countdown time guys! Let’s go outside”. So Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and they all went outside where Stan started counting down. “10!”. “9!”. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie and rested his forehead against his “8!”. “7”, Richie whispered while stroking Eddie’s waist. “6”, Eddie whispered back and moved closer to the lanky boy. “5! 4! 3! 2! 1!”. Richie then leaned down and pressed his lips to Eddie’s softly. Eddie kissed back and Richie felt like he had died and gone to heaven as he heard his friends’ cheers fand the fireworks going off all around him. They pulled away and watched the fireworks with the others. Eddie wanted to cry from happiness. He was standing in his front yard, in front of his house that he shared with Richie, with his best friends around him, starting the first year of his and Richie’s life together. Everything was perfect.

[tenderborn]

EMOTIONAL AVOIDANCE HC

disclaimer: this got really long, its over 2k words but please love me && read it

this is honestly my girlfriend’s ( @angel-ani ) fault for this since we were talking over facetime && its super possible that mikey has avoidant personality disorder along with his adhd since symptoms are ever prevalent in show && in comic. 

like when you see the brothers yell at mike usually, what does he do ?? try && fix it but not before usually becoming really small or try && get away from it. 

the biggest show of this is in the early 2k12 season one episode where he meets chris bradford && everytime bradford shows displeasure he fumbles && bends over backwards to fix the issue ; even tho he makes it worse by not giving him specifically what he wants.

like, the explanation of AvPD is as follows:

People with avoidant personality disorder often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. As the name suggests, the main coping mechanism of those with avoidant personality disorder is avoidance of feared stimuli. 

Avoidant personality disorder is usually first noticed in early adulthood, with both childhood emotional neglect ( in particular, the rejection of a child by one or both parents ) and peer group rejection being associated with an increased risk for its development

which, this kid is super at risk since in canon he isn’t really noticed or payed positive attention too since most of the time he’s ignored for doing good things && every small bad thing in the good thing is focused on. 

however he might fit the subtype of the disorder which is exploitable - avoidant which is characterized by an inability to express anger towards others or to resist coercion from others. may be at risk for abuse by others.

while he isn’t so much abused physically ( but i guess getting hit every other second && probably verbally assaulted it would fall into the category ) ; its almost on a regular where he doesn’t get angry but when he does he usually does something drastic && runs the fuck off in 2k12′s season three episode the croaking && ends up running into napoleon. 

however if we run away && ollie off to idw’s incarnation of michelangelo, he’s the exact same way. he avoids the situation in issue 50 where splinter assists shredder in the act of seppaku && only moments after leaves the clan because its just way to much. plus he thinks splinter taking up the mantel as wrong but he avoids because its a stimuli that is scary && .. its how he copes. he leaves. he goes home. 

it happens again when the war chat happens && it ends up going nowhere, once again he avoids the thing && leaves because he low key fears all of this ------ which he ended up being 100% right about in the end. 

like away from incarnations, he just generally fits the ‘ bill ‘ via WHO && the APA’s specific systems ( WHO requires four while the APA requires four - seven ) which for WHO are as follows:

* persistent and pervasive feelings of tension and apprehension; * excessive preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations; * unwillingness to become involved with people unless certain of being liked; * avoidance of social or occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.

While the APA’s are as follows: 

* occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection * Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed * Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations * Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy * Is unusually reluctant to take personal risk or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

he’s practically a mixture of a bunch of these ; tie them with his adhd && his autism && this boy really needs some chill from his brothers because, honestly, most of his coping mechanisms && avoidance are because they don’t treat him how they treat each other. 

i’m going to shut up now because this got wAY to long. 

[iris-sistibly]

Re: The Blue One (1/3)

So recently Kylie started a blog on Wordpress and for her first three posts she wrote something about Amihan entitled “The Blue One.”  Let me clear this up first and foremost that this post is NOT intended to bash Kylie whatsoever, this is just my response/reaction on Ky’s three-part post, and as an Amihan fan for almost twelve years, I think it’s about time for me to really talk about her and everything that involves Amihan, Encantadia, and of course Kylie. I feel like I haven’t really discussed or talked about Amihan stuff because I have 5 episodes to review every week, and I also have commitments and stuff to deal with in the outside world so most of my limited spare time usually goes to the 4R’s blog series. Some of the terms I used in this post might be hurtful or offensive to others but again, it is never my intention to bash Kylie, nevertheless I apologize in advance, these are just my HONEST thoughts about some issues that involves her, Amihan and the show. Also you guys can also consider this as my way of writing a “farewell love letter” to Kylie and just really have some closure (or whatevs) because I feel like I need this, I need to write this down. Avisala eshma!

How the 4R’s series began, From “Why Kylie?” To “Wow! Kylie!”

Once upon a time, my old Tumblr account that I have been managing for four years was hacked, so I had no choice but to make a new one, I wasn’t as active in my new tumblr like before because I was so bummed af that I suddenly just lost my interest with the site. I wanted to fill this page with random photos, and occasional thoughts coming from my mind, you know the usual things you encounter on every Tumblr page. That very same year, GMA Network announced that Encantadia is making a huge come back on Philippine TV, and as an Encantadik myself, I was beyond ecstatic, finally! After eleven years of waiting and binge watching some videos from the original series, it’s finally here, and it’s happening before my very eyes. Time skip, the cast was revealed, I got so excited when I found out that Glaiza is one of the sang’gres and I just know she’ll nail the character, I wasn’t familiar with Sanya and Gabbi during that time so I was like, “Oh well, we shall see.” And then Kylie, and I was like, “Um…Kylie?” I was one of the majority who prejudged Kylie before the show even started, seeing the show’s promotional photos, BTS, and so on, I kept on looking for Amihan in Kylie, and I when I say Amihan, I meant IZA CALZADO. But I saw none, I saw a warrior but not a queen, she wasn’t as queenly or regal-looking like Iza, and I was even skeptical if Kylie could portray a mother role, I saw her first photo with Mikee (Lira) and I couldn’t even imagine the two of them as mother and daughter. In short, “walang dating.” But then I said to myself, “I trust DMR, he wouldn’t choose Kylie for no reason, so sige, I’ll give her a chance.”

Fast forward, July 2016, the most awaited comeback of THE Encantadia. Of course, I didn’t miss the chance of watching the pilot episode on TV (because duh). As expected, the first episode did not disappoint, special effects were leveled up, highly commendable actors like John Arcilla, Dingdong Dantes, Sunshine Dizon and Marian Rivera among others, pretty impressive fight scenes—it was promising! Even the kids who portrayed the young sang’gres were adorbs and did a very good job especially Barbara Miguel (young Pirena), so naturally I had sky high expectations with Glaiza, Kylie, Gabbi and Sanya. ESPECIALLY KYLIE, because Amihan is my bias. Then came the most awaited #AvisalaMgaSanggre episode, the sang’gres’ first appearance as young adults. Of course, Glaiza was the stand-out performer, Sanya, despite being a newbie was pretty good, Gabbi was so-so, and Kylie was the least impressive. Throughout that episode I noticed how Kylie struggled especially at showing Amihan’s motherly personality. Her face was blank, the way she delivered those lines were so, so bland that I thought she was just rehearsing than doing an actual scene, I was disappointed see? But it was only their first appearance, I told myself, maybe her performance will be much better on the next episode. Wrong. Very Wrong. She kept on pulling the same boring facial expression and her scenes go from cringe-worthy af to oh-heck-no! That’s when I came up with the idea to write a comparison of the 2005 and 2016 version of Encantadia, generally that time I prefer the original saga since there was so much disappointments with the cast of the new version, and it seems like out of the four sang’gres, it was only Glaiza who knows how to act. Surprisingly I wasn’t the only one who had the same sentiments with the show, but then again, I would be unfair if I don’t give the show a chance, it was only their third or fourth week which means there is still room for improvement, and so I decided, why not write a daily review about Encantadia? Just a simple sharing to everyone what I think about the episode and if I like it or not, also that way, I wouldn’t have any excuse to miss an episode. Originally, I came up with the blog title 3Rs (Raves, Rants, Rating) but then I changed my mind at the very last minute and added another “R” which is Recap and that’s how the 4R’s series came to life. And as I am writing this, I just realized that it was Kylie’s then lame performance gave me the idea of this whole blog series thing, so thanks Kylie! Uh…I guess🤔. Weeks passed, still Kylie showed little to no improvement with her performance, sure her martial arts skills was on point on every fight scene, that signature bend-and-slay was lit, clearly she was the queen of fight scenes. I gotta say she was pretty good at playing a mother to Kate’s Mira, it wasn’t like Iza-level but I was happy nevertheless, at least she can play a mother role. Besides that, there was something lacking, Amihan isn’t just a warrior and a mother, heck she is also a queen. Everytime Kylie appears on TV in that royal blue gown, I see a beautiful woman, but not a queen, I guess I got used to Ms Iza who was so effortless at playing a queen, she was naturally graceful, her beauty was regal, her entire aura in general was majestic that even if she does nothing or even say anything, anyone who sees her will definitely say, “Yup, she’s the queen of Lireo alright.” Kylie wasn’t like that, and I wanted to see that. 

But Iza and Kylie are two very different actresses…

I was fully aware of that, and people kept on saying stop comparing Iza and Kylie. Nonesense! I thought, even if they termed Encantadia 2016 a “requel,” meaning re-telling and sequel, at the end of the day one can never deny the fact that it still came from the original version, the plot, the characters, almost everything is based on the original series. And DMR promised that this new version is MUCH better than the original, ha! Really? Seriously? Are you kidding me? Every Enca 2005 fan knows how well the cast performed, of course we are expecting a lot, of course we will compare them to the original actor/actress, afterall, they are the “revised” version of the original, saan banda ang “mas better?” There were only a handful of actors whom I can say that is the same level or better version of the character, the rest was a major disappointment. What frustrated me the most is the injustice Kylie was giving to my favorite Sang’gre Amihan, why Kylie? Why is she murdering the character that was adored by many? I ranted so much about Kylie to the point that I almost gave up on her, but for some reason, I just couldn’t let go, there was something in Kylie that tells me to hold on, and my inner Amihan fangirl told me she can do this. New day, new episode, new chance, new set of raves and rants, repeat. It went on for quite awhile, but I held on, I waited for Amihan, for the love of Amihan.

And the magic appeared before my very eyes…

The fall of Amihan is the most epic arc in the first season, up until now, it is still the most memorable for me. I was really nervous as the episode of Amihan’s fall was getting near, I was crossing my fingers, silently praying for Kylie to finally claim the spotlight, I remember I kept on saying, “Please Kylie, please I’m begging you, nail this scene,” I was anxious as I was waiting for that episode to air. Finally it came, that scene where Pirena revealed that the daughter Amihan raised for many years wasn’t hers and Pirena has been planning to overthrow her all this time, I can never forget that face—shock, pain, anger all mixed together, and when Kylie finally said those heavy lines, that’s when she finally got me. Just remembering that scene gives me goosebumps, Kylie and Amihan became one, and for the first time, I gave an episode an 11 out of 10 rating and this is the episode. I was finally convinced that Kylie deserved the role and she is the rightful actress to succeed Iza Calzado. Kylie Padilla IS Hara Amihan, and from then on, Kylie kept on slaying--episode after episode, she claimed the spotlight and held on to it, I ate every rant I said about her, every foul-mouthed basher instantly fell silent, some even turned into fans. I was relieved of course, the justice I have been seeking for Amihan’s character has finally been served. It took awhile but it was worth the wait. So worth it.

Never did I imagine I would love a character this much…

Iza Calzado is the perfect Amihan, but Kylie Padilla is the best Amihan. Obviously I love both versions, but what was Kylie’s edge against Iza’s version? Kylie did not just embody Amihan as a warrior, mother and queen, she embodied Amihan as a woman. That was something I realized was lacking in the original version, Kylie made me see that even a queen also make mistakes, she is not perfect, she has her flaws, just like each and everyone of us. A strong warrior also has weakness, she stumbles, she falls, her strength and courage can also turn into fear and doubt. A mother is always a mother, even if she did not carry the child and brought her into the world, some say that motherhood starts at the time of the child’s conception, but in Amihan’s case, it’s when she chose to love that child unconditionally, even though at the back of her mind, she sensed something different. Amihan is a woman who has her own ups and downs but chose not to be taken down by anything or anyone, her wisdom and pure heart is what makes her character truly admirable. I have many reasons why I admire Amihan a lot, but this is how I would sum up those reasons.

Kylie’s impact was more than what I expected…

Kylie did not just made me love Amihan more than ever, it was her who really brought me back to the world of Encantadia. She reminded me of that girl who used to play sang’gre with her friends at school, she reminded me that you are neither too young nor too old to believe in magic. She did not just turn Amihan into a well-loved character but also a woman every girl will look up to. To me, Amihan is no longer just my favorite character from a show, in this stage in life where I strive to be a better person, she’s my inspiration.

To be continued…

(Photo credits: @GMAEncantadia via Twitter)

[thenovelescapes]

march 2017

It’s spring time in Vancouver, aka. monsoon season. It’s raining constantly, and Daylight Savings has cloaked my 6am commute to work in total darkness, but the dreary rainy-ness makes it all the more satisfying to sit on the couch for hours on end and read or marathon insane amounts of TV. I hope you’ve all had a cozy, comfortable March.

- the television -

To start off the month, I finished off Fleabag! The final episode of the season is so good and addresses many of the big questions I had while watching. It’s a short season (only six episodes!) so you have no reason not to catch up on this wonderfully odd show.

In March, my parents and I continued our Mad Men viewing with seasons three and four. My interest in the plot and the majority of the characters has dwindled considerably through these two seasons, and I find that I’m a lot less invested in what happens, particularly with the company itself. But, I’m forging through, if only because my parents love it. We also plowed through the recently released third season of Grace and Frankie in two days. My dad officially loves the concept of “binging” but hasn’t quite accepted the long waits between seasons. Immediately after we finished the Grace and Frankie season finale, he asked: “When’s the next season?” and was unimpressed when I said it would be nearly a full year. That’s high praise, coming from him.

You Me Her is a half-hour dramedy about a married couple who meet, and fall in love, with a PhD candidate slash escort (Priscilla Faia), the three of them entering into suburban thrupledom. It is funny and sweet and romantic and complicated, and 75% of it is filmed on my alma mater’s campus. Season one illustrates the beginning their romance, while season two focuses on the realities of their situation as they go public with their relationship. There are certain elements of the show that bother me, mainly the husband’s jealousy and seemingly constantly roaming eye, but Izzy (Faia) is absolutely wonderful and it’s a really cool portrayal of polyamory and how fluid sexuality can be. Check it out!

Finally, this month I started re-watching Grey’s Anatomy because apparently I hate myself. I cannot believe that I have been watching this show for over a decade - it premiered when I was in middle school and I have been watching and re-watching it ever since. I have a love-hate relationship with Grey’s. The first three seasons remain some of my favourite television of all time, but as the plots veered into truly insane territory and more and more characters were killed off in increasingly ridiculous and implausible ways, I lost interest. And then regained interest. And then lost interest again. But I have never been able to abandon it completely. At this point, I think the show might outlive us all.

I finished season two last night, and sobbed like a baby through the final three episodes, as I do everytime I watch it. I’m not sure how far I’ll get in the series this time around, but it has been fun to revisit a simpler time, when the core five (Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie, and Cristina) were all alive and in the same place. 

- the books -

I am on a reading roll. According to Goodreads, I am currently eight books ahead of schedule on the road to reading (at least) 50 books in 2017. Here’s what I read in March:

Every Last Word, Before I Fall, and The Whole Thing Together are all YA novels. The first two were fine, if dull, but the third, by Ann Brashares, was not enjoyable. There were an unwieldy number of characters, a great deal of the dialogue seemed stilted, and the central romance made me profoundly uncomfortable. 0/10 do not recommend.

In Where Am I Now? Mara Wilson tells stories about her experience as a kid on movie sets, as well as what it was like to grow up while “accidentally famous”. So Sad Today is a strange book full of intensely personal essays and sensitive admissions from Melissa Broder. She speaks frankly about her drug and alcohol addiction, her mental health, and her sex life, and although I cringed once every three words, it was a worthwhile read. ODWABDANOTWM by Scaachi Koul was my favourite of the bunch. It’s smart and funny and full of love for her family, friends, and partner. Koul is Canadian, so there are some true Canada-specific gems (Related: I wonder if I can still access my Nexopia account) and I cried all the way through the last essay and Acknowledgements. You should absolutely read this book, but also follow Scaachi on Twitter - she’s hilarious.

The Mothers, All Grown Up, and The Best Kind of People are all adult fiction and all wonderful. The Mothers deftly spans nearly a decade and explores friendship, familial bonds, and abortion with a unique and compelling narrative frame. All Grown Up is a short novel with a protagonist who, at 39, is still figuring out how to be an adult in the world. Andrea is a mess, but she’s entertaining and trying her best. I finished The Best Kind of People a few days ago and have been able to think of nothing else since. The last line nearly made me shout out loud.

- the podcasts -

Podcasts continue to be great company on my long commutes and through my long work days. In March, I discovered Making Oprah, Still Processing, Death, Sex & Money and S Town. Making Oprah is a fascinating deep-dive on Oprah Winfrey’s empire. Still Processing is a podcast on pop culture, race and current events hosted by the lovely Wesley Morris and Jenna Wortham. Anna Sale hosts Death, Sex & Money and she is a superb interviewer, allowing each and every guest to open up about topics that can be uncomfortable or painful to talk about. Finally, S Town, from This American Life and Serial, was released all at once (seven episodes) on March 28th. I listened to the whole season in one afternoon. It has the elements of Serial that made the first season so memorable, but it also has a great deal more heart and focus on the people rather than what happened.

- the movies -

Every single movie I watched this month made me cry. This isn’t a surprise, exactly. I’m a crier. I cry watching television, most movies, even commercials. But I can’t say I expected to cry watching a movie that features Rebel Wilson and the woman from the 50 Shades franchise.

The Edge of Seventeen stars Hailee Steinfeld as a teenager who’s best friend begins dating the older brother she hates. It accurately captures the experience of being a teen and dealing with fraying friendships, annoying siblings, parents, dating, and mental health. Moonlight is every bit as good as you’ve heard. Don’t Think Twice focuses on an improv group (including Gillian Jacobs, Keegan Michael Key and Mike Birbiglia) as they struggle to “make it” as comics. How to Be Single is… not great. Too many love interests, too much Rebel Wilson, not enough of the main character’s sister. What If was a re-watch for me, and it remains a delightful romantic comedy. It stars Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan, and Adam Driver. You should watch it.

I hope you all had a lovely start to Spring, and as always, happy reading, watching & listening!