#(wow violet really makes me be creative

[blackangelism]

Heroin? Honey, I’m made of it

I know I’m called Angel Dust, but I’m the original heroin heroine, lobotomy angel. It’s a community I’d like to build, and you’re an angel of mine, I think now.

[miyuhpapayuh]

24

“I'm so excited to be here!”

“We're so excited to have you, dear! Have a seat!”

Having been on edge all day about making a good first impression, once she'd gotten to the facility and saw five women that looked like her, their warm energy calmed her instantly.

“We got you a latte, didn't want you to feel left out.”

“Oh, I really appreciate it! I hope everyone's morning has been good!”

The ladies nod in agreement before the leader begins her ice breaker.

“This may seem a bit school-ish, but I like to go around the group and get a fun fact from each of you, and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't kick it off! So, I’m Roni and I started this group a few years ago so black women could have a creative space of our own.”

“And we love you for it! I'm Leia and I'm one of thirteen kids!”

“Oh my gosh, really? What's that like??” Zora asks, which makes everyone laugh.

“Girl, hectic! We're all two years apart, too.”

“My word. Well, I'm Zora and I actually had given up on wanting my own art career, but I'm getting back out there!”

“We're all so proud of you for doing that, it takes courage!”

“Thank you!”

“Of course, doll. I'm Fran and I'm fifty-five, sitting on a pretty pension from my dead husband.” She says, before cracking up, making the girls do the same.

“A hoot, that one is! I'm Trina and I collect rocks and turn them into little scenes.”

“They're really cool, she's gotta show y'all her latest one before we leave! But I'm Dina, and I'm a photography finatic! I'll take a picture of anything!”

She pulls out her phone and swipes through her gallery to emphasize her point. Nothing but trees, cocktails, food spots, selfies, her cat Toby, the sky and moon and clouds in between.

“You're just like me, for real.” Zora laughs. “Also I've never seen a black cat named Toby, how adorable.”

“She's a girl, too!”

“Really?? That's so adorable, too!”

“I know!” She giggles.

Roni and the others laugh at their interaction, knowing Dina and her infectious personality would pull her right in.

The activity of the day was to take your feelings and turn them into a scene. Any theme. People or no people.

Zora painted a vibrant sunset on her new balcony. Two glowy orbs side by side, overlooking the breathtaking view.

“Can I just say wow!?” Fran gasps as she looks over from her own masterpiece, a never ending garden of bright tulips and wildflowers.

“Oh,” Zora covers her face, “thank you!”

“I've never seen anything like this before. How'd you do that, with the shading around the orbs and stuff??” Trina asks, as the group moves in to see her work.

Still flustered by their sweet reception, she blows out a breath. “I actually tried something out while painting. Took the shades around it and made a color and outlined them, it adds some depth to it.”

“Hell yeah, it does!” Roni agrees, making the ladies laugh.

“Thanks, you guys! Now let me see what everyone else is working on!”

“Ooh, come look at mine!” Dina says, pulling them over to her portrait of Toby, his big green eyes making them gasp.

“Wow, those are her eyes, alright!” Trina says, giving her a high five.

“They took me like twenty minutes, they better be her eyes!” Dina laughs.

“She's so cute! Her and vday gotta do a playdate!”

“Absolutely!”

“Uh oh, miss Fran! Let's talk about these flowers!”

“Oh, my pride and joy! I've been gardening for about twenty years, and this is what my garden looked like until a couple years ago. The last time I was able to get out and tend to it all, I took a picture of it and now it's memorialized in this painting.”

“Who knew flowers could make you cry,” Zora frowns.

“That's beautiful, Fran.” Roni says. “Wildflowers are your favorite, huh?”

This makes everyone laugh.

“How'd you guess, you smart cookie??”

“Come look at my pretty rock!”

Trina painted a giant black obsidian rock that was cracked in half, indigo and violet on the inside, pale yellow twinkling in certain spots.

“Wow! I like this one better than my own!” Dina says, punching her arm.

“Y'all are the most talented women ever, I'm convinced.” Roni compliments.

“Wait, let's see yours!”

An up close view of a rib cage, pink and green butterflies litter the inside and linger at the garden planted in the center of her chest.

“Rooted in love?”

“Absolutely!” She smiles. “It's how I've been feeling since getting engaged. Just a love plant.”

“Awww, that's so sweet!”

“Yeah! Are we invited to the wedding??”

“Absolutely! It'll be in the fall, sometime. It's our favorite season.”

“Leia, what did you paint?”

A silhouette of a woman behind a rose colored sheet.

“What's the story behind this?”

“Hollowness, really. I feel hidden most times.”

“Oh, babe,” Trina frowns, hugging her.

Welcoming the gesture, she softly laughs.

“Thanks, but I'm okay, I'm just a middle child.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

“Honey, I'm home!” Leon yells from the front door, chuckling as Zora damn near crashes into him, hopping into his arms.

“Hey, baby!” She squeals, inhaling his woodsy scent.

“Hey, my love. I see you missed me!”

Carrying her over to the couch, he plops down with her still attached to him.

“I did! I couldn't wait til you got here so I could tell you how my day went!”

“Oh yeah, I'm all ears! How'd everything go??”

She fills him in on all her sweet new friends, shares their paintings, and gives him a rundown of how their next few meetings are gonna go.

“Look at you,” he cheeses, “my artiste!”

Her nose crinkled as she covered her face.

“I'm good, I guess!”

“Zora Jean, please. You're the best.”

“The best, huh??” She uncovers her face as they both laugh.

“And you know this, lady bug!”

“Thank you, best chef and photographer ever!”

He humbly dusts off his shoulder, making her giggle.

“Speaking of! I can share this with you now,” he says, placing his hands on hers, “today was my last day of work at the warehouse.”

Her mouth drops open in surprise. He smiles widely at her reaction, proud that it was worth keeping to himself.

“You quit?!! Finally??”

“That, I did!”

“I'm so happy for you!” She beams, squeezing his hands now.

“Thank you, my sweet lady.” He smiles, leaning in to kiss her face.

“Aw, you're so happy about this, I love it! What's your plan??”

“Well, I think I can kick off my vlogging now. Not sure if it'll be more than just cuts of me cooking, but it's a start! Also, my boys said they'd support me with whatever I needed while I'm getting started.”

“That's really sweet of them! I can't wait to see your first video! I've got a thing for cameras now ‘cause of you, so if you need any help.. I'm here too!” She cheeses, earning three kisses on the lips.

“Thank you, baby. I may need you to be my camerawoman from time to time, when you're not busy with your own artiste dreams, that is.”

“I'm proud of us. We quit our regular-degular jobs to focus on our passions! How many people, our age especially, get to say that!!”

“We must be god's favorite, huh?”

“Oh, yeah!” She nods, meeting him halfway for a high-five.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

“Alright ladies, today we are meeting with a few investors and they are very fond of each of your portfolios, so if all goes well, your names will be on front street before the weekend!” Roni squeals as the ladies do the same.

“I'm a little nervous, wow!” Zora huffs, placing her hand over her heart.

“Don't worry honey, your art is divine! If these suits don't like it, they don't know talent. Okay?” Fran says, rubbing her back.

“O-okay. I'm gonna head to the bathroom.”

Excusing herself, she heads down the hall and into the biggest stall of the bathroom, immediately calling Nique.

“Hello?” Her best friend sings into the phone.

“Girl, investors are coming to chat with us today! They've seen our work and are apparently impressed, which is great! This is what I've always wanted… but what if they get here and see our latest pieces and their opinions change? W-what if they don't wanna—”

“Zora! Hey! Calm down, sweetie!” She coos, snapping her out of her spiral.

Inhaling deeply and exhaling roughly a few times, she places her hand back over her heart. It wasn't beating nearly as fast, but she was still frazzled.

“I– it's been such a long time coming, ya know? I'm just… I don't know!”

“It's okay to be nervous, Jean. This has been like ten years in the making! Those investors already like your work, right?? So, you're in there! Don't worry about anything else. It would be remiss if you didn't celebrate your wins. You put yourself out there. You found an art group and they welcomed you with open arms! Investors know who you are!! They know what you're capable of and they're coming to see you and your work. Hell, let's call up that ex whore of yours and rub it in his face, cause you're killing this shit and you haven't even really started yet!”

By this time, Zora’s face was covered in salty tears at her friend's sweet and true words.

“And stop that crying before them girls think sumn wrong with you!” She jokes, making Zora laugh.

“Shut up, man.” She sniffles, wiping her face.

“I appreciate you for saying all of that. You're right. I've waited so long for things to fall into place. It's my time to show what I'm capable of!”

“Hell yeah, it is!” She agrees. “And I know it's rough, but you have to know– believe that you've already done the hard part. Get yourself together and walk out there with your head up high, mmkay?”

“Thank you, Nique Nique!” She coos, making kissy noises.

“Ah, what would you do without me! You're always welcome, Jeanie! I'll be sitting at home, waiting for you to tell me how it went!”

“Expect my knock, later!”

They squeal and talk a bit more to calm her nerves, before bidding each other farewell.

Thankful for her deep brown complexion, she wasn't as flushed as she feared. She wets a napkin and wipes her eyes and cheeks, before washing hands again.

Rejoining the group and assuring them that she's okay, they fall into conversation to ease the leftover pressure even further.

“I've been curious about this for a minute, but I didn't wanna be that crazy old lady that asks too many questions,” Fran laughs, before looking over at Zora.

“You've got a boyfriend, don't ya?”

The instant smile that covers her entire face makes the ladies coo and giggle at her.

“I knew it!” Dina adds. “Caught her smiling at her phone the other day, but I let her live.”

“Y'all,” Zora laughs, shaking her head, “y'all remind me of my sisters so much! Only, they wouldn't let me live anything down, so thank y'all for that.”

“We had to ease you in, first!” Roni pats her shoulder.

“But now that we know you're in loooove,” Trina sings, making them crack up.

“Yes, tell us allll about it!” Leia chimes in.

“He's so sweet, y'all,” she gushes, unable to help the bright smile on her lips as she goes on about her man.

How smart he is. How generous. Rugged. Driven. Hardworking. Dedicated. Inspiring.

“Does he have any brothers??”

“I had to hook my sisters up! But I'll see if he's got any cousins or uncles up for grabs! A young uncle for you, Frannie.”

“That's my girl!” Fran claps.

Soon the investors arrived and Zora was ready to let her work do the talking, her nerves steady.

There were only two people, a white man and woman, which helped a lot. Not too many people to interact with. Zora wasn't the only one who internally felt that way, either.

“Ladies, this is Roberts and Williams, senior investors from Canvas & Company. They came by to talk to us about their experience with buying and selling art, how the market works and how to invest in it.” Roni introduces.

“We are very excited to meet you ladies! In fact, on the way over, we pulled up each of your files one more time, just blown away with the talent we've seen!” Roberts exclaims, clasping her hands together.

“Indeed! Haven't seen much talent like this in a while. Definitely refreshing.” Williams adds, before they get into their spiel.

“Now the art industry has definitely changed in the last thirty years, pushing boundaries on how we capture an image and paint it for others to see. It's very interesting what one can do with a paintbrush or pencil. Speaking of, what's everyone's favorite medium and why?” Williams asks, looking around the room, his finger pointed at Dina.

“Pencil. There's an eraser always close by.” She laughs, and he fondly shakes his head.

“Gotta love the mistakes, too.” He says, pointing to her twin sister.

“Charcoal. I love the mess of it!”

“See? My kinda girl!” He claps, pointing to Fran.

“Watercolor! I love how lightweight it is.”

“I agree, it's probably the lightest type of paint.” Next was Zora.

“Acrylic paint. It's so vibrant and rich, experimental even! Perfect for my pieces.”

“Acrylic is best for that type of thing. Building color, texture.. it's a hassle to preserve, though.”

“Oh, tell me about it! My poor palette has never been the same.” She laughs and so does he, before pointing to Leia.

“Oil pastel, I love the way it glides!”

“As do I!”

Moving on to a slideshow of how investing in art works, the ladies quickly realized they were on the fun side of things, seeing how much people empty their banks for it.

“Seven grand on one painting?? That would take care of so many things.” Fran mumbles, shaking her head.

“Imagine!” Roni whispers back.

“You'd be surprised how much one would spin! One impression is all it takes, a lot of the time.” Roberts says, looking over to her colleague who agrees.

“They try to scare you with the emerging and well known artists as top sellers, but we don't all curate art the same way, which is why we're here. We see potential in every one of you, even your lead! Phenomenal work, ladies, really.” She adds, to which they all graciously thank her.

After the meeting is over, Zora feels a ton lighter than she did when her day began. She was proud of herself.

Making it home, she showers, changes into her sweats and heads across the hall, not even getting to knock before Nique opens the door.

“Hey, girl!”

“How did you–”

“I was sitting on my patio and saw you pull up! Knew the knock was coming!” She answers, pulling her inside and closing the door behind them.

Plopping down on her oversized sofa, Zora lets out a sigh of relief and grabs a handful of popcorn, stuffing her mouth.

“Tired?”

“Mmhm! It's been a long day,” she says with a mouthful, tucking her feet underneath her.

“Well, how'd everything go??”

“Great! There were only two people, a man and a woman, both white and like our mamas’ age. Cool people, though! Super friendly. They asked us about our favorite mediums and told us about how they can help and hinder, how the investment market works and girl, these people spend money!”

How much we talkin’?”

“Anywhere from a couple hundred to a couple hundred thousand!”

“Really??” Nique asks with wide eyes. “Let me go paint sumn real quick.”

Zora laughs, stuffing another handful of popcorn in her mouth.

“No, but seriously I'm glad it went great! No stress, no mess, just you and your unbelievable talent showcasing itself!”

“Me too, it's nice having people with loaded pockets take more than a glance at your work! Hell, I might have met potential buyers!”

“Fingers crossed! Your artwork is gonna be in everybody's living room! Just you wait!”

“You better be in the first ten people to buy sumn!!”

“Like I haven't been buying your artwork since we've known each other! Ima be the first! Next piece you cook up, it's mine!” She declares before grabbing her remote.

“I know that's right! What we watchin’?”

“Beauty shop!!”

“Oh, my movie!!”

@ghostfacekill-monger @thegifstories @blackerthings @planetblaque @blowmymbackout @henneseyhoe @honestpreference @blackpinup22 @abeautifulmindexposed @nayaxwrites @twistedcharismaaa @kindofaintrovert @sageispunk @madamzola @soufcakmistress @megamindsecretlair @starcrossedxwriter @slippinninque

[thesweetestdevotion]

wow thank you so much for doing reading for jay and sunghoon, i wonder if you could do ideal type reading for them too since i saw patterns in this type of reading, so i'm curious about what you see, thank you!❤️

Hey!! Im gonna do Jay for you right now! Sunghoon is here

Jay Enhypen Ideal Type:

Dice: Aquarius, Venus, 10th House

Tarot: Page of Swords Reversed, The Hierophant, Two of Cups, Six of Cups, The Lovers, Three of Swords, Nine of Wands Reversed, Queen of Swords, The Star Reversed, King of Wands, King of Swords Reversed, Seven of Swords Reversed, The Empress Reversed, Eight of Swords Reversed, Two of Wands, The Moon, The Sun Reversed

Now I started this reading and so many cards came out (17 i think 😭) Anyway i think that jay right now might be basing his ideal type on one specific person. I say this because the two of cups and six of cups and the lovers came out. This tells me there is an established relationship here, though i see it has some limitations because of the page of swords, king of swords and empress all reversed and the three of swords also came out. This is pointing out a situation where they don’t see each other often or have some other limiting factors that affect the natural flow of romance here. I think this person is probably another public figure of some sort, though i will not delve into who it is since the moon came out as well, indicating a wish for privacy (not that i would pry anyway) Anyway his type/this person is a very well developed person. They have some uniqueness to them that make them stand out from the crowd, but also have traditional aspects to their personality that make a romantic relationship very comfortable and satisfying for jay here hehe. I think he likes someone who is well spoken and well received, someone who knows how to be honest when they need to be. King of wands tells me he loves a creative side, maybe he enjoys being able to share some sort of talent with his person, idk if he plays a specific instrument but I’m hearing he likes sharing this hobby with his person. he likes someone who is self actualized and responsible and can get themselves out of problems with no help. He likes that independent fiery type that when they come together with him, can coexist and allow him to help them as well. But he certainly is not attracted to the damsel in distress archetype, he likes driven and accomplished people. He admires a good work and play balance in a person. Not someone who is all about working and not taking breaks and having fun. Someone who’s not sneaky, i just heard ‘keep it to yourself’ maybe someone who doesn’t gossip or spills his/their business to others, that felt important. Someone who’s futuristic and has big plans that they would include him in, he dreams of building a dream life together with his person (how sweet). Maybe he’s into a little stubbornness, someone who’s not afraid to call him out when needed, not a passive person. An active and fit person, I just heard tomboy, maybe he’s into tomboy-ish girls? I keeps seeing very short fluffy hair, baggy low waist jeans, black tight tank top. That’s hella specific, he’s very particular, which makes sense bc i do feel another presence here in this reading. I dont wanna get onto specifics for this person but that visual could definitely relate to them. Tattoos? A dragon tattoo, bc i also keep hearing the song Girl with the tattoo by Miguel. That could be significant. Also matching outfits? Maybe he likes when a person has similar aesthetic than he does, i keep seeing black clothes, leather, slick hair, does he really like clothes cuz my minds eye is like a fashion magazine right now heheh. Maybe he or this person like fashion, could be another hobby they share. Anyway i get the feeling this is all i should share before it gets too specific (jay always likes to share wayyy too much in my readings with him loll ����) The color violet by Tory Lanez and Fashion Killa by ASAP Rocky just came up as well.

Alright!! That’s all folks hehe!! Xxx

[imthecosmicbasball]

"Chapter 2"

Pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x Oc

Masterlist

Chapter 2 is all about how they meet and how they got close

Prologue.

Short Background.

Hasanagi is a very low profile family name especially when their family history is very powerful when it comes from a high society since the Muromachi era.

The Hasanagi are brilliant, strategic and mostly they're famous for their creativity and ideas, technically not all of them are prodigy but some said one will be born in the Hasanagi family which one day will become a prodigy.

Hasanagi family clan isn't found for Kaiju hunting much but when it comes to support they're really useful for landing a hand.

Akira is different her father once said when Akira was 6-7 years old she was reading the old history of the Edo period and the Hasanagi guidance family history which is not normal but her father saw it, he saw the first ever genius in the Hasanagi household.

Akira wasn't too interested in the praise because she always has to be this perfect image that everyone puts on her, when she's just 14 her other family already tells her she should find a man already which Akira just replied "When are you old geezers going to die already?" Which isn't surprising for her parents, everyone in their families were shocked and couldn't believe the kid said such insults.

To Akira nothing really matters she was such an enigma even her parents were too scared to even say anything.

At the age of 15 Akira came home from her house blood on her face which makes the parents freak out but Akira was not unphased by the sight, from which her parents ask what happened the girl just said "Oh, I kick off some dudes that was trying to harass me no biggie." In which she smiled innocently at her parents before leaving for her room.

This brings a lot of questions for her family which they don't understand why she's like this is she a sociopath? Or just psycho? But in some ways Akira still shows normal human signs which they're still glad about but they weren't denying that Akira is their daughter they didn't think of other things from her.

Not like her brother....

Ends background.

At 19 Akira is already old enough to take the exam which she already finished, Akira has been leaving out of state for so long that she almost felt out of place because of her unique appearance.

She completely looks like a foreigner which is normal for Japan to think so. But Akira was unbother by it all she wanted to do was get this over with, while she was looking around she looked around the people who were talking or speaking. Observation is the key for everything, while she was looking everywhere else she didn't know that someone had accidentally knocked from the back Akira was about to fall but the person was quick enough to hold her by her waist and stop her from heating her face on the ground.

"Sorry! Are you ok?" Said the person with his Kansai accent and concerned voice "Sorry I was so focused on revising the notes I didn't see ya there." The bold cut dark violet hair guy said again Akira looked at him up and down before looking directly back to his face seeing his close lid eyes, without any thoughts Akira pointed her index finger in front of him the boy was confused as to what she was doing.

"You're from one of the Hoshina clan aren't you?" Akira said straight forward towards his face for which Hoshina was shocked at first but it quickly turned into a grin.

"Wow, I didn't know my family was popular." Hoshina said with pride inside him feeling proud for himself, while looking at him with an emotionless "I thought you guys are already off brand since people don't use swords anymore these days."

BANG!

There goes Hoshina's confidence rather than being embarrassed by this Hoshina irk mark appears on his cheeks while he was grinning normally "I'm sorry what does it mean to be off brand exactly? Are you trying to insult me?" Hoshina was clearly annoyed but still smiling Akira only shrugged her shoulders while stepping forward past Hoshina. "I'm just saying it's fine but I guess you gotta show some powerful strength with that ability." Akira smirks while Hoshina is clearly still irked from her.

'This bitch, is she serious?' said Hoshina inside his head clearly annoyed when Akira saw it she's clearly amused by it which makes her grinning even wider.

"I say you would be dead meat? If I do say so myself." Akira said but Hoshina with a new facial motive he with swift movement walk past Akira like a wind flowing through her hair which caught Akira by surprise seeing how Hoshina hair flow swiftly in the air he turn his back a little just for Akira to his crimson-red eyes which Akira couldn't help to..

'Pretty...'

Though inside her head, Akira quickly shook her head and she was narrowing her eyes towards him. Hoshina is clearly satisfied by this grinning proudly "How bout' you get moving before the exam starts tot's."

Hoshina continues to walk ahead while waving his hand without looking back, Akira can't help but felt her ears redden from it which clearly irks her up "Fine you wanna play? Then let's play."

Akira said to her self has she walked ahead to finally take the challenge and obstacles in front of her.

Of course when the 2nd exam came Hoshina was proud when he saw his name come in second but he was kinda pissed when he saw 'Hasanagi Akira' at first.

The exam ended like this.

Short flashback.

Soshiro was pretty irk when seeing his name in second but the most unhelpful thing is that Akira was giving him the smuggling smile that is pretty annoying Akira was pretty proud of herself for being so.

"H.... How, I've studied so hard for this.... How did you-" Hoshina got cut off when Akira flickered her fingers in front of Soshiro "It's called work smarter not harder dumb dumb." Akira grin again Soshiro only irks for the last day. Poor Soichiro-san while he was asking Soshiro about the exam where he just replied "Shut up!!" Soichiro flinched at the sudden outburst.

End s-flashback.

The day came where they are tested to learn how much combat level they have earned or developed.

On average everyone is either 10 or 18% below which is normal for beginners.

Hasanagi Akira combat level: 29.

'Hm, I knew it' Akira thought when suddenly she hears loud gasp from everyone besides her, she couldn't help but look at the person on her left, which she was surprised seeing Hoshina Soshiro besides her the whole time.

Hoshina Soshiro combat level: 42%!?

Now Akira knows why everyone was in shock, but she must admit she was impressed but nonetheless he was from the Hoshina clan which actually didn't surprise her at all. "Oh I'm sorry is '1st place' jelly??" Soshiro said with a wide smirk on his face which triggered an irk mark on Akira's left cheeks but she just shrugged it off "Maybe you should focus on the battlefield, oh! Wait how can you see through those bangs? Want me to cut it?" Akira purposely moves two digits fingers in a scissor motion which Soshiro kinda shivers for some reason at her kinda weird but sadistic expression.

"A-ah hehehehe I was joking." Soshiro waves his hand in defeat from not wanting to upset the girl in front of him. Akira replied with a 'yeah I thought so' smile. When they were done with the announcement for the second exam Akira knew that there will be some blood but curious got the best of her she caught a glimpse of Soshiro for a second seeing him warming up his katana Soshiro saw her and opened his eyes to smile at her, the smile which looks just a normal smile makes Akira quickly turn her head fast.

"So you're just going to sit there and not say anything to me?" Soshiro said just after warming up his katana and standing beside her Akira only glanced at what was in front of her, Kaiju that was a mix of badgermoles and a groundhog, an ugly mix Akira must say. "They look ugly." Said Akira casually. Soshiro couldn't help but for some reason laugh and hug his stomach feeling it's going to burst at any moment Akira watches this and raises her eyebrows in confusion.

"What's so funny?"

"No b-but! The way you judge those Kaiju is like yer judging a celebrity! Hahahahaha! Of course kaiju's are ugly what do you expect?" Soshiro tries his best to talk clearly while still laughing his butt off Akira only gives him the most annoying eye roll ever. But that's not all what Akira was doing she was observing the kaiju's much to Soshiro thinking she was just making some racist comments.

'they don't really stay around the ground that often huh.....' though Akira.

When everyone was ready to deploy Akira saw Soshiro katanas, they looked heavy yet lighter when Soshiro held it, Soshiro looked at Akira direction before giving his usual grin "Feeling nervous already?" Said Soshiro which Akira just stared at what was in front of her "I'd rather sleep." Akira holds her gun looking at the gimmick and all before looking at the bio Kaiju bullet she looks through it for a while and puts it back in.

"This test is the last obstacle ahead but we do guarantee that your life will be in danger, but if your life is at state we will be the automatic shield, but do confirm this means you're disqualified which makes it an instant fail."

The speaker spoke as much as many people were scared they weren't backing down now, Akira pulled her gas mask and wore it to her face much the same as Soshiro did it as well. "Don't die but I think you'll survive but in this field I have the better speed."

Soshiro smirks under his mask with determination and fire in his eyes, Akira only gives a slight grin as she holds her posture "Hm, why are you focusing on me when you should be focusing on them."

Soshiro let out a soft chuckle and turned his head in front of him "Right.." when the bell sounded on Soshiro was the first to lip from the ground and run from the building and everyone followed with anticipation not wanting to fall behind, but much at the control panel they saw one person didn't catch on.

Akira, she was looking at everyone when she casually walked while her hand behind her back everyone in the control panel was confused until one of them looked up her information and found her identity.

"Ha... Hasanagi Akira I knew her name sounded familiar," one of the female workers said and the captain came up to look for himself, they found Akira information from her brother Hasanagi Ikari. "Related to one of the most prominent officers, platoon leader Hasanagi Ikari." Said the captain narrowed his eyes a bit, tendency or curiosity got the best from him, he decided to watch her clearly.

While at the exam Soshiro was getting his fire up while he saw Akira sitting leg cross at a giant hole the yoju made Akira on the other hand casually closing her eyes and making a clicking sound like a clock tik toking. She even counts in her mind. Everyone was having a hard time killing the yoju Soshiro quickly went up to her and was catching his breath, "What are you doing!? It's dangerous to just sit here and wa-" "Shut it." Akira quickly cuts Soshiro's mouth before she focuses her eyes towards the other holes from the other side the weird thing is they said there were 39 yoju so far they only encountered 20.

"....... They're still more down there." Akira with no care at all bent down and poked her head below the hole which shocked Soshiro and with a reflex he quickly pulled her out of it from her waist and right on time the yoju appeared Akira casually shoots it eyes balls and it's stomach and the yoju die in instant.

"Huh, that seems to work... Agh!" Akira holds her head in pain when felt Soshiro karate chop her head like she's an idiot. "Have you lost your mind!!!!? Why did you do that!? You know the yoju came below!" Soshiro was about to scold her again until she pointed her index finger at the yoju back there was a sharp pole and a red piercing the thing's back. Much to Soshiro surprised.

"I've been tracking it while the others are focusing on the ones that supposedly keep making their escape, think about it these things attacked from below not from the light and even if they stay up the surface it only takes 10 seconds before they dive back down, so I've been monitoring this one for a while and I was right." Akira explained only for Soshiro to look at her in confusion but still understand her, 'Did she LITERALLY monitor while everyone is fighting?' Soshiro thought before asking Akira "Wait wait wait, what are you saying here?"

Akira turns her head and smiles at him "These yoju uses soundwave but because in the morning not much sounds are made they don't see or hear very well so they need to be on dark surfaces so it's easier for them to give a surprise attack that's why some yoju's are not to look down on, but funny thing is when moves on the ground the wind almost make it sound just like the most classical song ever George Bizet Carment Suit: No 2." Akira smiles proud with her calculations which as Soshiro standing there shock and dumbfounded knows he now's why it was hard for him to catch his targets.

Soshiro just sight and shakes his head "What kind of fighting style do you use." Akira only grinned and patted Soshiro's shoulder. "Now if you want to kill these things I say you follow my lead on this one, that's why I don't rush it." Akira smirks proudly and runs off to lead the way while Soshiro just follows from behind. When they got to where they wanted Akira threw hand grenades and shot it below the ground "That sound wave might be a death sentence but I will work to draw every yoju left."

While the others thought they had killed all of them suddenly a huge grumble sound was made and all of the yoju came up which shocked the people but it's a good thing they knew or else what else? "Hoshina you love cutting things right?" Soshiro only answers the question with a grin Akira smirks and nod "Good now, it might not seem like it but cuts its tail, trust me on this." Soshiro felt something weird but he only smirked at the idea and dashed ahead from Akira, Akira went to the other group and shouted loudly. "Shoots the tails!! The tails!!" Everyone was confused but in a panic and suddenly they shot the tail, after it immobilized the yoju making spinning around looking for its tail and Soshiro came from above and killed it.

"Number two: Wind Slasher!"

With shift moves Soshiro successfully cuts the yoju with ease with another Hoshina style swordman moves he defeated all the remaining yoju everyone cheers and knowing there's only a Honju left Soshiro landed on the top building noticing Akira who is now 3 blocks away from Soshiro was close at the Honju place he saw her taking her bio-organic bullets wrap them together with a cloth and before he knew it she throws them down and she shoots them multiple times which made a huge explosion and Akira thought in her head she would get the Honju out but it came out, the Honju guts splatter all over the area which shocked both Soshiro and Akira.

"...Eh?"

The control panels were weirded out when one of them checked again Akira's combat level suddenly changed to 29% into 40%!? "Hasanagi Akira combat level rises up to.... 4-40%!!?!!! But how...?"

Akira heard this and checked it herself and knows it was not lying, 'Damn....' she thought to her self. Soshiro was beyond he didn't know when and how did her combat level caught up to him so suddenly and quickly Soshiro looked at her and Akira was just as shocked as he is.

Suddenly there was someone talking to Akira from her com which Akira pushed it to hear the captain in-charge of the arena.

"Hasanagi Akira, are you perhaps related to Hasanagi Ikari." Akira hesitated at first before answering with a calm sight "Yes, yes I'm." Akira turns off the com and look to her right seeing Soshiro was looking at her he couldn't help but look how her eyes just sparkle from here and her hair flowing through the air so smoothly.

"Ugh.... I think I have a crush...."

Well I didn't expect to be this long hehehehehe, oh btw the kaiju of badger moles is from avatar the last Airbender 🌚🌚🌚 pretty useful I might say.

Part 3

[twinaurora]

1:56 AM

(I started writing this at the above time, this is future me at 3:30 putting a break so that it does not flood your timeline :3)

Damn, I am a creative person lol I like to write! I like to fucking sing and shit! And sometimes i do lil doodles and shit You don't have to do something crazy to call yourself creative :3 Just make something! Sometimes I think my shit is shitty But sometimes you gotta take a step back and just look at what you did And its like "Wow, I made that" It's crazy :) OH FUCK MUSIC TOO!! Man I love music, I love listening to shit, its fun Oooh, I should start tagging stuff lol, like what if someone else want to reblog something [looks off in distance, sitting at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean glimmer, sunset setting the sky a beautiful orange hue, reflected too upon the sea] Lol what if Mallek wants to fucking rant about dumb shit on my blog :O Whoa, what would Mercer look at (⊙_⊙)？ Or maybe a fucking sideblog, i've talked about that before ( *︾▽︾) Oughhh, im listening to Swank (off of brb) and there was this really soft synth in the background, that was really nice (I checked, it starts at 1:33) The Lavender Promenade? The Violet Fugue? I'll think of some more later, but i like the second one so far Ahh~, piroulines, the greatest snack ever made.... Man, sometimes it's hard to say stuff. I'll see people talking, but their in the middle of an already going convo, and its like, " Damn, maybe ill just wait a sec" and then u never do. Sometimes you respond to it verbally, but just don't message. Sometimes I just can't get the right expression through text (They might as well be dead (ROR2)) Im gonna put the music i'm listening as i write this down Aww man, we're all just a bunch of goobers ain't we. Some goofy fuckin goobers..... I'll look at Mallek, and sometimes I think that's the guy i couldn't be and then I'll look at Chixie, and that's the girl i don't know if i can be and the other two are something different (The King of Onsen (Rivals of Aether)) It's like, they both deal with people, in their own ways obviously (Take my breath (The Weeknd)) Marvus is very showy, as is for him, but damn can he talk to someone, and y'know, sometimes i can too. But he's good at it, and he's good at helping people And Mercer isn't! haha lol He's more worried about us, so obviously, more reserved But he could do the same i believe. Rougher maybe, more annoyed, but will get us away. I guess think of it like a bomb, Marvus would de-arm it, like talking down someone, while Mercer would run, cuz it doesn't know how to fucking defuse a bomb Oh man, funny analogy time I guess it's like... me mal and chix are like the lil sibling playing a game right, and ur on a hard level So you get ur big sib, in this case Mar and Mer, to help you beat the stage :) (I took another hit of cart, its 2:39 at this part of my writing)

[pepaldi]

Hey there! How have you been? Hope things are better! (I decided to come out of anon, I feel ready now~)

I just went through my finals, the semester is over, now I have free time (so I’ll take a lot less than three weeks to reply)!

While there are differences between them they are both endearing and easy to love.

And somehow, they are both my type. Harold completely re-shaped my taste in men 🙃

In a way we do know him. Through his own words, actions and the words of those who knew him for real. Of course his family and friends knew him better but we do know him. In a way. You have absolutely the right to love him.

It’s all about the stories, isn’t it? Sure, the movies and interviews show us some of him — because he had to act and put on a face for the reporters, like any other famous person would —, but nothing can be as raw and honest as the stories that are told about him. It’s almost like we know him well but at the same time, not enough (so I understand when you say you overthink things that are “none of your business”, I do the same). You’re right about that, because we could never love someone without knowing them first, right? We know enough to love, and yes, he would accept this love too, he always did.

There are different kinds of love and Harold had so much of that in him for so many it is no wonder that so many love(d)s him back.

Oh wow, beautiful thinking (very very wise too). I don’t believe in karma, but it seems he received back all the love he gave throughout his life. He was loved for as long as he lived, and he’s loved still, even in the afterlife. Within reason, I guess there’s no wrong way to love someone.

Oh, that means you sent this the 10th. I appologize for the wait .. again.

No need to apologize, I enjoy the wait, and I know good things take time ✨

That is such a sweet story. Really sweet. Presentations in class, hated those. Yeah, I like to think he is around when I need to talk or vent a bit to him. Or when i have a dark moment while being alone.

Absolutely! I like to think of him as an invisible friend.

Haha, I love this! He really is like an invisible friend! And to me, he never “says” anything, he doesn’t have to, just him “being there” is enough to bring me comfort. I think it’s a lot more about what he represents to us, what the thought of him makes us feel. We bring him to life, in a way. I wish I could tell him that, somehow, that even the thought of him brings us joy. He’d be happy to know, I think.

I think we all do that in some way. Compare ourselves to those we admire. I get wanting to be like him in some ways. I wish I was as smart and laid back as he was. The way he learned new things and skills so easily. Seems like it anyways. Though having said that it, like you experienced, can go the other way too.

It's like he couldn't settle for being just funny, he had to be brilliant too! He knew a lot about psychology too, it's something he liked, that's why I feel connected to him in a way, I'm a Psychology major (and I like to think me and him would share the same thoughts and opinions about the subject). The things I admire the most about him are also his laid back attitude, his patience, and how he was always smiling (those are things I struggle with).

Harold was human and had flaws like us all. He would probably point out other people who you should admire instead. I mean, I do not know but maybe.

Haha, you're right, he would! He was also humble. It took me a while to understand this, that he was flawed just like all of us, reading Violet's book helped me see him for the human being that he was, I love how she didn't hide the “shadow” side of him, she let us see his good parts and his bad parts.

Oh, honey. (Hope you do not mind. Tend to call people that or Sweetie at times.) That .. Harold .. ah, he might enjoy the photos I do but the FF’s. Hmm, well he did have a varped mind (humour) at times so maybe. Yes. Being creative is a wonderful thing.

(I don't mind at all 😊) You're right about his humor, but hey, fanfics, I like to think of them as an emotional outlet for the writer, so as long as you're not offending anyone, I don't think there'd be anything wrong about it. (although I am curious, would you ever post them?)

One of them is like a little comfort piece. Eh, probably both. If you can stand the pain and have the money go for it! It can get addictive though. Really addictive. My hubby is indeed the best. Loves me and all my quirks. And I love him right back. I hope you find the one that is meant for you one day.

Oh I do have a tattoo already (not of Harold, sadly), and I'm planning on getting another, a Ghostbusters tattoo (I'm addicted already 😅). I love how we both have “comfort pieces”, yours are tattoos, mine is a locket necklace with two photos of him inside, I wear it everyday.

Violet’s book. I still have not finished it. I still have other books I have never gotten around to cause I am too darn sensitive. I do love Violet sharing the stories and photos but the over thinker in me wants to know certain things that comes up when i have read snippets. None of my business but the brain eh, does not listen. And there are photos I wished she had share but might be reasons for that.

I understand. As happy as I was to read and learn more about him, some parts were just heartbreaking, I teared up many times… And I feel that curiosity too, no matter how much we know, we always want to know more, especially the photos, I can never get enough of seeing him, and although I cherish every single photo Violet decided to share, I still wanted more...

I do feel, that the cat story could have been avoided. I did not need to know that one. And, though it might be hard I admit I would like to know more about his last four years

About the cat, well… I understand it’s a lot for most people (and it was indeed a big screw up, at least I know he regretted it), but somehow, I was able to look past it, because what really caught me off guard was the open relationship agreement he had with Anne, and the fact he had a whole child with someone else. Cheating, for me, is just the worst, so I had a really hard time accepting this part of him. About his last years, that is the part I think I did not need to know about, because it’s just too painful for me. Violet shared just enough about those four years, in my opinion, enough to make me think about it from time to time and feel awful. But still, I agree with you in a way, because as hard as it is to admit (and as dreadful as it may sound), I wish I knew what his very last words were.

Hmm, I do not remember but … I think this was the first time I talked to him. You probably read it already.

Oh yes I did! Interesting, it all sounds even more honest and deep now that I know this was the first time, I just read it again, made me tear up a bit 💙

I have .. ehm, not really. Songs that would be nice for a video yes but, hmm.. Oh, my memory suuucks. I mean there have been choruses but then the rest of the text do not add up

Haha, it’s alright! That’s the hardest part of creating playlists in my opinion, things rarely add up. I made a playlist of songs that remind me of him, it’s not the best, but it’s something I listen to from time to time, and reminisce. (here’s the link, if you want to hear it)

I do have one Q for you or two, depending on how you count.. If you could meet Harold during any part of his life when would you want to meet him? And why?

Ooh, that’s a wonderful question, this took a lot of thought. I think I’d like to meet him after Groundhog Day, late 90s to early 2000s. By then, he had lived a lot and done so many amazing things, so he’d have a lot of experience, wisdom, and knowledge (I would love to discuss Frankl’s book with him, Man’s Search For Meaning. He liked this book a lot, and so do I). I would ask him to tell me all sorts of stories from his life, and I’d listen to him for hours. I’d ask for advice on how to deal with grief, and I’d tell him how much I admire and love him. This Harold brings me comfort, he’s nurturing, sweet, smart, and still very funny!

Please feel free to answer this same question as well, I’d love to know your choice.

Hehe, always a pleasure. I hope this gets posted correctly cause something happened when I saved what I had answered so it wouldn’t be lost and big part of it got messed up.

Posted perfectly, and it’s also my pleasure!

Before I wrap this up, two (or three) things I wanted to ask, out of curiosity and my need to feel like I can share an experience ~

How many of his films have you watched? Do you have a favorite?

Has he ever inspired you to do, try, or become something? (For me, yes. I’ve been taking singing lessons for two months now, and the song I chose was Haunted House by McKenna Grace, one of the songs that remind me of him. When I finally learned the whole song and sung it all the way through the end, I cried. He had been on my mind the whole time, I was singing about him, he was the inspiration. My teacher was very proud, because I sung with emotion, and she felt that)

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I had too much to think about and to say, and too little time ~

Thanks again, as always, hope you have a wonderful day/night! ❤️

Hey there! How have you been? Hope things are better! (I decided to come out of anon, I feel ready now~)

OMG Hi.

Thousand apologies for the wait. Kept forgetting. Blah. Then the bloody heat showed up and, oh boy. This past Monday and Tuesday I was totally out of it. Slept and spent most time in the bedroom. Felt drugged.

OK, enough of that. Oooh, I really like your url name.

I just went through my finals, the semester is over, now I have free time (so I’ll take a lot less than three weeks to reply)!

Hope it went well and I need to not be so slow myself.

It’s almost like we know him well but at the same time, not enough (so I understand when you say you overthink things that are “none of your business”, I do the same). You’re right about that, because we could never love someone without knowing them first, right? We know enough to love, and yes, he would accept this love too, he always did.

I have TV on in the background and one of the characters just said the word overthinking as I read the above part. I dunno why I am telling you this. Might still be the heat. And yes, he would. Yeah, pretty sure he would.

It took me a while to understand this, that he was flawed just like all of us, reading Violet's book helped me see him for the human being that he was, I love how she didn't hide the “shadow” side of him, she let us see his good parts and his bad parts.

Think though, even though he was flawed it still feels like he was a really special guy. Really one of a kind. Just now thought, if any of this other kids would write a book about him what would that look like? The experience Julian and Daniel had was a bit different than Violet's. And of course Mollie's was incredible different.

You're right about his humor, but hey, fanfics, I like to think of them as an emotional outlet for the writer, so as long as you're not offending anyone, I don't think there'd be anything wrong about it. (although I am curious, would you ever post them?)

I just need to get of my lazy ass and write and finish what I started. Also start new ones. Hmm, I probably will post something but the real hmm, weird ones, I dunno. Though mind you I have seen fan fics that made me go .. "what the hell am I reading?" (Not in the GB fandom though.) So weird ideas are out there. Not that I do not mind weird ideas (I love weirdness) but there are a few that .. were .. ehm, just beyond that.

Oh I do have a tattoo already (not of Harold, sadly), and I'm planning on getting another, a Ghostbusters tattoo (I'm addicted already 😅). I love how we both have “comfort pieces”, yours are tattoos, mine is a locket necklace with two photos of him inside, I wear it everyday.

Haha, addicted is good. Well, to a certain degree. That GB logo is such a classic. Comfort pieces are good. Oh, that is so nice. What photos do you have? If you do not mind me asking? What does the locket look like? Personal Q's there. I had, well still have a locket (just not on me these days) with photos of another man I admire. I found a locket that had words from one of his favorite poems and so had to get it. I do not wear jewelry much but I wrote that one a great deal. My tattoos are my jewelry.

And I feel that curiosity too, no matter how much we know, we always want to know more, especially the photos, I can never get enough of seeing him, and although I cherish every single photo Violet decided to share, I still wanted more…

I am glad she shared but YES, need more!!

.. because what really caught me off guard was the open relationship agreement he had with Anne, and the fact he had a whole child with someone else. Cheating, for me, is just the worst, so I had a really hard time accepting this part of him.

I understand. It is one thing to agree to be with other people but the fact that he fathered a child could be seen a kind of betrayal. I am glad they got to know each other though. Violet's and Mollie's friendship and sisterhood is adorable. None of my business but I would also like to know more about Harold and Mollie's relationship. I understand if Mollie might not want to share it but well, you know what I mean.

About his last years, that is the part I think I did not need to know about, because it’s just too painful for me. Violet shared just enough about those four years, in my opinion, enough to make me think about it from time to time and feel awful. But still, I agree with you in a way, because as hard as it is to admit (and as dreadful as it may sound), I wish I knew what his very last words were.

Totally understand. I am interested in the good times in those years like Mollie and Violet singing to Harold in the hospital. I can not help it. Possible cause we know so little of those years. Hmm, maybe I have already said that. When I wrote what you said bout his last words I got some images in my mind of either him having told his love one that he loved them. If he couldn't talk maybe he put his hand on his heart or held hands and looked at them with that sweet smile of his.

Took a look at your list of songs that remind you of Harold and am not familiar with them but you better believe I am going to listen to them. Thank You for sharing that. Listening to them soon. Promise.

I would also like to meet Harold in the 2000's. Sure, young Harold might be fun but prefer older Harold. Not sure what I would talk about cause I'd probably talk so much he would have to ask me to slow down and take a breath so he would understand me. Or I get so nervous I would go quiet and he would talk but might try and get me to talk back. Maybe. Hmm, perhaps.

Before I wrap this up, two (or three) things I wanted to ask, out of curiosity and my need to feel like I can share an experience ~

How many of his films have you watched? Do you have a favorite?

I do not know how many actually. Some I saw years ago and hardly remember. I have not watched all and not sure I will. I have a strange relationship with movies. I know it might be lame but Ghostbusters is my favorite cause it introduced me to Dan and Harold who I both adore so much. Wait, might have seen Dan in SNL but I do not remember if I did before ,,, If nothing else it cemented my love for them and I do have a fascination for Ghosts.

Has he ever inspired you to do, try, or become something?

Hmm, tough question. I .. no, I do not think so. Not like you certainly.

(For me, yes. I’ve been taking singing lessons for two months now, and the song I chose was Haunted House by McKenna Grace, one of the songs that remind me of him. When I finally learned the whole song and sung it all the way through the end, I cried. He had been on my mind the whole time, I was singing about him, he was the inspiration. My teacher was very proud, because I sung with emotion, and she felt that)

That .. is .. beautiful. Such a lovely thing to do. That must have been nerve wrecking. Way to go!! We know how much Harold loved to sing so I bet he was beaming right down at you. Ok, reading that got me teary eyed. That .. was .. an incredible sweet thing of you to do. Beautiful!

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I had too much to think about and to say, and too little time ~

Thanks again, as always, hope you have a wonderful day/night! ❤️

Same. It took me longer than planned to answer this.

And usually I re read over to make sure I got it all but I am so warm I need to step away from the computer.

I do hope you have a great day/night yourself and that you do not have a heat wave.

Best Always.

~Karin~

Oh, oh. The profile photo. Love that photo. Then again very few photos of the man I do not love. 😉

[tennesseewynter]

I love the way your name is the color of my current days. Sunny might have been generic but violet in the spring? Violet is far more vibrant than I've ever been. It's a cliche I know. But I'm putting my writing skills to work here. Considering I write for my job. That's all news and stories to make the front page. What I really want to do is pen my own book. Create a world only fit for two people who can shine, become one and share their love. That is a big way I feel about you. That I can share anything. I can shout it from the rooftops. Or from my apartment window. Either way someone is gonna call the cops on me.

Anyway, it's me rambling. Much as I do in real life, yeah? With you it's easy to fumble of over my words. When we first met I thought, 'wow, she's awesome' among other things. Like how pretty you were. How creative you are. How I just wanted to be the one you wanted.

Well, here we are, Letty. We're together. And - pardon my French. FUCK. It's amazing. We're amazing. Always - my Violet

[hyperiongremlin]

Chapter six- modern au

This chapter required a lot of research, both in terms of medical stuff and legal proceedings. It’s pretty long and might be a bit of a slog but theres a good bit of exposition about Rhys and the relationship that he has with Jack and Tim. There are some big TWs for this chapter which include:  transphobic langauge (by Katagawa), internalized transphobia, descriptions of FTM anatomy (no bottom surgery), vomitting (brief), needles (brief mentions), stiches, blood, medical settings mentions of pregnancy and medication noncompliance. This chapter is over 9000 words long as well. I can’t really post much of it on tumblr so I’ll leave some choice exerpts.

Rhys followed Dr. Clarke down the sterile white hallway, which somehow distinguished itself from all the other white hallways of the modern home. He was certain he would accidentally break Tim and Jack’s hands from how hard he gripped them. Guilt, shame and disgust pooled in his stomach, melting together into a leaden alloy weighing him down. It wasn’t fair to ask this of Jack and Tim, to waste their time, to endanger their child. All because he couldn’t just get it together and stand up to Katagawa. Angel and Violet could have DIED, and what did he do? He sat there and took it. Were he a better man, a better father, maybe things would have been different. Tears welled in his eyes once more and he choked back a sob. His legs shook and then gave way as he sunk to the floor sobbing. Jack and Tim immediately kneeled next to him, each carefully maneuvering their hands so Rhys could still squeeze them.

“‘Why? Why are you helping me? I almost got them killed, and… and when he came… came after me I fucking hid. An-and I let him do that to me, [...]”

...

“Rhysie? Kitten? We’re here because we want to be, because we care about you, and I don’t want to start lecturing you about every- never mind. Cupcake, I know it’s gotta be hard right now. Everything’s crumbling and it feels like you’re flying blind, and that’s fucking terrifying, I won’t tell you it gets better instantly because I’m not a liar. But please Rhys, know that you’re loved, appreciated and really friggin’ important to us,” Jack said, his voice was strained as if he himself were fighting with a sea of emotions. Rhys looked up at Tim, who was nearly breaking his hand. Tim’s pale pink lips trembled slightly, eyes squeezed shut.

“Rhys, we just want you to be ok, you’re such a wonderful person and you don’t deserve any of this… this bullshit! And if we can make it even just a little bit better for you, we’re gonna do that,” Tim choked out. Jack rubbed the redhead’s arm comfortingly.

The trio stayed on the white linoleum floor for a few minutes. Then the pain started. Rhys shrieked.

“Wh-why is it only hurting now?” he cried.

...

“You wanna hear all my theories on that Handsome Jack guy?” Rhys asked. Tim quirked a brow and Jack snorted.

“Uh yes I absolutely need to hear these, but first let me ask you something,” Jack said.

“Yeah?” Rhys said.

“If you were offered a position at Hyperion, say senior president of marketing, would you take it?” Jack asked. Rhys had to laugh at the absurdity of the question, but if they were playing in hypotheticals, why not entertain Jack? “Yeah I would, in a heart beat! I could actually afford Vi’s meds and my own, and I’ve heard you get a lot more creative freedom at Hyperion, I mean their ads are always so memorable!” Rhys said, clearly excited. Jack smiled and nodded.

“Alright let’s hear your theories about the CEO guy,” Jack said.

“Ok ok so Vaughn came up with this one, but he thinks Handsome Jack or his partner might be trans, which like, wow said partner would probably have the nicest top surgery scars ever, if they’re removing their breasts I mean, not like my stupid zipper tits,” Rhys said and then froze, tears welling in his eyes.

“What's wrong? Hey, hey its ok,” Tim murmured, stroking Rhys’ arm.

“He, he called them zipper tits, I transitioned a year after we had Violet and right before I left him, maybe a year, I got my top surgery. And every time I got undressed he’d call them that,” Rhys sobbed. A second hand rubbed his back, Rhys assumed, based on where Tim was, that the second hand was Jack’s.

[cno-inbminor]

iterum vivere (childe/tartaglia)

a/n: wow, it’s been fucking forever. first genshin fic featuring childe/tartaglia!!! a very huge thank you to @suspensin​ for reading this over and being my rock and support, and i love her so fucking much. I couldn’t have finished this without her!

plot: reincarnation and modern/uni!au ft. afab reader!traveler with she/they pronouns x childe/tartaglia 

-- in which meeting childe is a bit of a dangerous game of push and pull

wc: 12.1k; angst + fluff

warnings:  DOES CONTAIN IN-GAME SPOILERS (1.5? 1.6? + story quest and idek) and NSFW MENTIONS (mdni to be safe). there’s no explicit smut but thoughts do run a bit wild here and there

EDIT: Altered ChiLumi version now posted on AO3 here!

“Haven’t we met before?”

The shine in your eyes does nothing to hide your curiosity, head even tilting a little in observation. He watches them scan his face for any recognizable features, but attempts to focus on the strange, taut string of déjà vu that pulls him toward you. In a moment of absentmindedness, he had heard a faint voice call out his name from your direction. Confusion overtook him as you weren’t looking at him, but something inside his brain said that it had to be from you. And so his feet redirected his path towards your figure in the student union building, as if on a mission.

“A fucking whale, Childe?”

Oh.

“I don’t think so…?” You trail off, curiosity now replaced by perplexed feelings. “Do we have a class together?”

I think I would’ve noticed you by now if you were.

“Ah, what’s your major?” Childe asks quickly to avoid listening to the little voice in his head.

“History and anthropology, you?”

“Economics, but I’ve taken a history course for core credits. Maybe it was then?”

“With Dr. Zhong?”

“Yes!” He snaps his fingers. Part of his brain decides to usefully function and scan his memories to see if he remembers your face or head of hair in the lecture hall then. “Last year? Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 11:20?”

“Actually, yeah,” you affirm in surprise. You think you would remember the relatively attractive ginger in your class, but honestly, it had all been such a blur and you were often pretty sleepy during class. Dr. Zhong didn’t quite appreciate it, but you made up for it with your exam and essay grades, as well as paying better attention in some of his other courses.

“Did you need me for anything?”

“I’d like for you to come visit and meet my family.”

He’s really not appreciating this extra voice speaking for him.

“Well…uh…” Childe stammers and looks away sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. He honestly had no reason for approaching you, and now, he just looks like a desperate idiot. Think quick, he tells himself, floundering for some shitty excuse.

“I wanted to, uh, take another history course as an elective and um, wanted to know if you had any recommendations?”

“Oh,” you blink. That’s a first. When he meets your gaze, the swirling shades of sapphire strike something deep within you. Flashes of events you can’t make out go by in the blink of an eye, but then you realize you’ve been staring for too long. Blood rushes to your cheeks because you don’t exactly want this guy to get the wrong idea from you, because how are you supposed to explain, “I’m sorry, but I think we have met before, but just a really, really long time ago, and we might’ve been more than just acquaintances because that’s what it feels like?”

“I think you’d like Teyvat Mythology,” your voice wavers on the verge of cracking. “Dr. Zhong might have a TA this time around, but Xiao’s a great teacher. Doesn’t have long, rambling anecdotes, but explains things well and gets straight to the point.”

“C-cool, I’ll look into it,” Childe replies and smiles brightly. “I’ll head out then,” jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, where he just realized he left a grouchy Scaramouche waiting by a vending machine, newly purchased Starbucks Tripleshot drink in hand. “Nice seeing you, (y/n).”

He scurries off before you both realize that you never told him your name.

“Who’s that?” Scaramouche asks, jutting his chin in your vague direction.

“Someone from my Intro to Liyuean History course last year,” Childe waves off. “Come on, let’s go before the line at the pasta bar gets too long.”

-

The next time you see Childe is by accident, traversing across an open field of grass that many students like to sit out on to relax with friends, sunbathe, hold events, or play casual team sports if room permits.

You had your earbuds in and were scrolling through social media when laughter rang above all other sound, causing your head to snap up and swivel around to find the source. And while it might’ve been strange to an outsider, your steps immediately slowed as you watched the man of your tiring, vivid dreams sprint in your direction, eyes pinned on a frisbee heading towards him.

He’s wearing a grey sports tank and basketball shorts, headband holding back his bangs as he makes a slight jump in the air to catch the plastic disc between his palms. His feet plant into the grass as he looks for someone to pass it to, and you watch (with embarrassment) the muscles in his throwing arm relax and tighten with practice, frisbee steadily soaring through the air in a beautiful arc towards a teammate. He then lightly jogs to get closer to his group, but then his back stiffens.

Before your instincts kick in for you to turn and bail, he looks over his shoulder and stares straight at your now stunned self.

The sole ruby earring that glints in the sunlight catches your attention, and you recall your dreams of terrifyingly dark, violet electric power, blades of water rushing toward you, and then the stomach-churning sensation of falling from great heights pours concrete into your veins—

Childe looks a little amused for having your sole focus, hand lifting up for a quick wave. And as you numbly return the greeting, your heart beats out, “Run from him.”

And so with the flight response pulsing and firing from your synapses, you abruptly speed walk away, almost breaking out into a sprint towards your dorm. You ignore his pointed, confused look, and pretend you don’t feel the two holes of imaginary fire searing into your back. It isn’t until you’re laying back in bed that you release a huge sigh of relief and pray to a deity you don’t believe in that those eyes of mirth will not haunt you tonight.

But of course, with a deity that doesn’t exist, the prayers go unanswered.

-

“Do you believe in any of the mythology you teach?” You ask Xiao about a few days later when you stop by his cubicle. Luckily, no one else is around for this conversation, and Xiao has always been kind enough to humor your thoughts. Granted, he might feel obligated because you had asked Dr. Zhong to be your advisor for your undergraduate Honors thesis, and Xiao was directed to be your receiver of some general questions and source of information if he wasn’t around.

A quick scan of your complexion tells Xiao everything he needs to know. Your eyes are overtaken with rumination and exhaustion, haziness clouding them as you seem to ponder over your own question. It’s not often that you ask him anything not related to your thesis or coursework.

“Perhaps there’s some sense and truth to the tales passed down,” he softly muses. “What makes you ask?”

You lift yourself to sit on the clean area next to his computer, legs slowly swaying back and forth. “It might sound crazy but...I’ve been having dreams lately. They feel too real, too natural to be anything that my mind would make up. I’ve never had the most creative imagination by any means, which is why there’s some comfort to me being a history major, but I can’t shake these.”

“So why ask me about the mythology?”

“...the Archons are there. I even dreamt that I met the Geo and Anemo Archons. And they controlled various elements, just like we were taught.”

You don’t notice that Xiao has ceased his rapid typing, fingers hovering over the keyboard before one hand removes his glasses from his face. He uses the other to rub his eyes and softly pinch the bridge of his nose before sliding the frames back on. Dark, golden amber eyes survey you as you grapple with the unfathomable possibilities of your nightly visions, at least until you shake your head in disbelief at yourself and lightly scoff.

“Who am I kidding?” You ask no one in particular. “Maybe I’ve been doing too much research and everything’s mixing together.”

“You’re ahead of schedule, if that provides any consolation.”

“Some.”

-

It takes Childe a grand total of one minutes and 53 seconds to sign up for Teyvat Mythology for the spring semester.

-

WInter in Liyue is only slightly miserable, being so close to the ocean. It’s chillier than usual on this dreary day, yet something compelled you to exit your dorm and shakily make your way to the campus coffee shop for a warm drink. Coffee, hot chocolate, you haven’t quite decided yet, but just as you let yourself bask in the warm building, familiar ginger hair and blue eyes wash away the comfort.

Or do they douse you in security?

They remind you of your recent dreams that now have shifted away from stress and violence to easygoing summer days by the oceanside, running barefoot in the sand while collecting beautifully patterned azure starconches. Sometimes, you thrust a hand towards an oversized four-leaf clover on a wooden stake with the power of wind and catch yourself in the air, soaring and looking around to find more of the little shells. Other nights, they consist of climbing steep cliffs, only to sit at the edge in the clouds with fatigue wracking through your system and marvel at the view before you.

Someone’s always with you though, ruby earring and maroon mask and cobalt blue gem hanging from the waist, sprinting with you, playfully tackling you down, pulling you up towards mountain peaks, laying their head on your shoulders, brushing their lips against your cheek--

You welcome the change of peace in those dreams, but only because they don’t leave you quite as tired the next day, as if you’d been avoiding an inescapable dark force.

Part of you wants the burning question of why this person, this man, in all his glory and brightness, affects you so fucking much when you barely even know the guy -- why looking at him sends your heart to lodge itself in your esophagus, why your lungs feel like they’re so close to being completely collapsed under the weight of his stare, why feeling like you’re trapped and  caught between wanting to run towards yet away from him.  It makes no sense, and you’re tired of trying to make sense of anything you don’t exactly want to remember from your dreams for some, once again, inexplicable reason.

But there’s no time to think as he quickly ambles towards you, your own feet shuffling forward to meet him in a warped reference of a distance that constitutes to “the middle” before you can stop yourself. Your shivering hasn’t quite stopped yet, and Childe seems to take notice of it.

“Pretty cold out there,”  he softly states. It’s cute, the way you’re curling in on yourself to retain some warmth.

“Y-yeah, not sure why I decided I really needed something warm to drink right now,” you reply and avoid his gaze. He watches you peer over his shoulder to squint at the menu display hanging from the ceiling, seemingly contemplating on what you should get.

“How about I get yours today? My treat for your class recommendation last time.” Anything to keep you here longer. Childe doesn’t realize how much he’s missed you, which confuses him, and chooses to ignore the fact that he’d been camping himself at the study tables in the building where the history department is located in hopes of even just catching a quick glimpse of you.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you immediately attempt to subvert his generous offer, hands shooting out from your jacket pockets and waving in rejection. “It was nothing.”

“Please?” Childe puts on his best puppy eyes before reaching for one of your wrists, gently tugging you to the register. “Just this once?”

You want so badly to squash the tiny flare of disappointment that erupts in your chest from the newly acquired knowledge that this was just a one time thing. Do econ majors hate to feel in debt? That they must be even with everyone, or would rather have people indebted to them than the other way around?

There’s no time to think when Childe gives the cashier his order before turning to you, and without wanting to waste anyone’s time, you rattle off your usual beverage. He’s quick in fishing out his student ID to spend some of his campus currency, shooting you a boyish grin when you pout at your half-opened wallet.

“Go take that table over there,” he says, pointing to one in the corner by some windows. “I’m gonna tell my friends to go on without me.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude or pull you away from them,” you slightly panic. The sooner you can leave, the better. Right? “You don’t need to sit with me, I was just gonna head back to my dorm.”

“I insist. Go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Why your brain takes his orders over your own is a mystery in and of itself, because before you know it, you’re plopped down in one of the lounge seats and staring off into space, mind reeling over the last two minutes. You pretend you can’t hear the way Childe’s friends nudge his arm playfully with their shoulders, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively as Childe tries to get them to stop being nonsensical.

“You’re gonna scare them off,” he hisses at them, hands pushing at their backs so they could finally leave him to his devices.

“Not before you do!” One of them laughs and Childe groans at their antics. “All right, all right, we’ll go. They’re cute though, might steal them if you don’t make a move.”

The darkening of the aura surrounding Childe is too quick for them to fully process, not before he dampens any of their fleeting hopes with a, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

But it disappears just as fast when his and your drinks are called out, and he gives them one last shove before retrieving your to-go cups. Childe directs all his focus towards the seat diagonally from yours as opposed to the one that’s straight across, and you’re sharply ripped away from whatever reverie you let yourself slip into.

“Thank you,” you murmur, hands cupping the drink and feeling the heat seep into your fingertips. “You really didn’t have to, it was nothing big.”

“Can you blame me for just trying to find an excuse to finally talk to you?” He asks without a skip and you can’t tell if the quickening of your heartbeat is from a looming sense of doom or excitement. Those eyes, the tiny swirls of the ocean, blue like those shells buried in the sand--

It takes three seconds too long for you to understand where he was going with in his words, and part of you feels unamused at his smooth talking. You’ve always guarded yourself against guys like Childe, devilishly handsome who know their way around language semantics, ready to pull you in and just as ready to push you away. That (possibly unfair) bias, coupled with everything else you’ve been feeling for him, sounded the alarms and set the walls up around your heart. Perhaps you need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, because Childe immediately retracts his forwardness.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I promise I’m not looking for anything in return and you don’t owe me anything, but I really did just...want to sit and talk and...get to know you?” Childe trails off a little towards the end. Your body loosens up and relaxes just a tiny bit, feeling bad for your snap judgment. Let the guy do something nice, don’t look into it too much, you tell yourself. It’s a coffee, not a five-course dinner.

You reach out a hand towards him, small smile across your lips, ready for his to join yours in a quick handshake. “I’m (y/n), senior history and anthropology double major. It’s nice to meet you.”

The pounding of your heart against your ribcage has nothing to do with the shimmering of his eyes, nothing to do with the fact that his hand fits with yours just right, and nothing to do with the fact that an eerily similar voice from your dreams whispers, “I love you.”

You learn a number of things about Tartaglia in the four hours, like his family members and their respective interests, which classes he did and didn’t enjoy taking, certain takes on Schnezhnayan politics, his own various hobbies, crazy accidents from the occasional college parties, and more. He’s a bit of an open book, probably telling you way more than any regular person would, and definitely more than anything you revealed during all this time. Everything you tell him seems surface level, nothing too deep. The walls are still there to protect you from the unexplainable, profound feelings his presence seems to elicit, and luckily, he doesn’t prod any further. Childe feels the resistance and respects it, which just adds more brownie points in your book, and you almost feel bad for having given so little in return.

“I wish we were taking Teyvat Myth together,” he sighs when walking you back to your dorm, hands stuffed in his pockets. His ruby earring catches the light from the sunset, the shade almost complimentary to the golden amber rays that streak across the sky. “Would’ve helped having a history major in there.”

“Is that all I am to you, an answer bank?” You jokingly ask, but he watches concerningly as you shoot your gaze to the ground, mindfully stepping over the cracks between concrete slabs.

“Of course not,” a gentle sincerity reaches you, giving you the confidence to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for making it sound like that, it wasn’t my intention. I really just meant it as a way of saying if the professor or TA ended up being a total bore, then well, having you would make it more fun.”

“I’m sure I’d bore you even more,” chuckling, speeding up to get away. You’re growing too comfortable in whatever atmosphere Childe has created, like an enclosed air bubble bobbing gently in the depths of the sea and letting the waves carry you both to whichever ends of the earth.

“Hey,” he interjects, hand reaching out to stop you with a soft yank of your wrist. There is no resisting force from you, feet stepping backward until he meets you eye to eye. It’s unfair in the way that he can render you motionless by standing just an inch from you, arms brushing with his head tilted closer to your own. “Seriously, I’m glad we did this today. Are you?”

No, because now I don’t know what to think, I don’t know who you are, I’m not any closer to figuring out why you terrify yet leave me so enamoured with you, I’m torn between punching and kissing you and--

“Yes,” you subconsciously answer, brain immediately short-circuiting to scold yourself. “I had fun.”

His grin, charming, devilish, is so so bright, bright enough to rival the Liyue sun that sits on the pier, on the edge of the ocean, bright enough to rival the love that your fraternal twin showers you with on a daily basis. You want time to stop right here because you’re almost sick of the voice settled deep within your heart that screams, “Don’t get comfortable, you must run from him!”

“Good. Let’s do this again?” And you nod, of course you do. Foolish you. “Don’t be a stranger!” He calls out as he turns on his heel and waves over his shoulder, hand raised in the air, and you’re suddenly transported to another scene, a less refined version of the Liyue Harbor, watching as the head of ginger hair with a red mask in a flashier attire of grey and maroon walks away from you and onto a roaring, magnificent ship; big, ivory sails only seen in books and museums. It’s the same gesture of “see you later”, and just before he turns, you blink, and you’re back to seeing your campus again.

But Childe does look back once, warm and content that you’re still standing there, watching over him, and he can’t help but think about when he can spend time with you again, because suddenly, it truly feels like there’s not enough of it anymore.

-

“Excuse me, what’s a Red Bull?”

The last thing, or person rather, you expect to see on the last day of finals for the fall semester, is a small boy who looks way too young to be here, tugging on the sleeve of your windbreaker. He’s at most eleven, ten maybe, but he has eerily similar characteristics, as well as an accent that doesn’t quite belong to most Liyue natives. Still gathering your bearings from your own perusing of the fridges that hold all the possible beverages a college student could consume, you kneel down until you’re at eye level with the child.

“Repeat that for me? Are you looking for a Red Bull, you say?”

“Yes!” He beams and holds out a student ID that most definitely doesn’t belong to him. “My brother asked me to grab him one because he was busy with something.”

Your eyes flit over to the top shelves where the aforementioned cans of caffeine are located, and definitely too high for someone of his height to reach. “I’ll grab one for you. Did he ask for a specific flavor?”

“Nope, he said regular. Thanks, you’re really nice! Do you know my brother?” He asks, waving the ID at you so you can get a better look at the name. That’s definitely a face you recognize, but the name leaves you confused.

“Yeah, um,” glance over again, “I know...Ajax…”

“He’s the best toy seller in the whole world!”

Somehow, it suits him much better than Childe or Tartaglia, and you’re not quite sure what toys have anything to do with the matter at hand. Speaking of hands, the little boy grabs yours in sheer delight. “Can you take me back to his room? I kinda forgot the directions he told me, and everything’s so big around here.”

“Sure, just let me buy something, too, and I’ll take you.”

“Okay!”

The cashier isn’t the least bit fazed by the little brunette at your side -- it’s always common for family members to come in around the end of semesters to pick up kids or visit, and being an open building with snacks and drinks and a stopping point of most tours, they’ve seen it all. You even let him pick out a bag of chips and a candy bar for himself for being so polite and not a complete menace, paying with your own campus currency.

Teucer, as you’ve learned in the last two minutes, likes to point out things and ask you questions. Luckily, you have answers to most of them and do your best to pad the time, enjoying the feeling of a tiny hand wrapped around three of your fingers. It’s sweet to any normal passerby, believing they’re witnessing an older sister doting on their little brother around the holidays, but to Childe, seeing the tender sweetness on your face as you nod along to whatever Teucer is rambling about to you, sets his heart aflame. He’s already constantly on the verge of wanting to hug and kiss you and never let go, but you haven’t made any indication that you could potentially like him back, and this is just torture.

“Look what they bought me!” Teucer shoves his rewards in Childe’s face as if he had extremely poor eyesight, and you can’t help but laugh a little as you set his Red Bull down on his desk, clutching your own preferred beverage while looking around his room. Finals must have gotten to him with the unusual lack of tidiness in the small space, some laundry strewn here and there, a couple boxes of eaten microwave dinners in the metal wire trash can, some textbooks left open and marked with more sticky notes than you’ve ever seen. You’d only been here once before to drop off some food that he desperately messaged you about, stuck doing a project that he just couldn’t step away from.

“Pretend you don’t see the mess,” Childe pleads, handing a kid tablet to his brother but holding on before Teucer can take it. “What do you say to our nice friend here for buying you these snacks?”

“Thank you!”

“It was nothing,” you shyly smile, ruffling his hair. “I enjoyed meeting you.”

“Wait, what’s your name again?”

“It’s (Y/n).”

“Okay, (y/n)! Wait…(y/n)..as in…”

Teucer trails off and gives a look to his brother, one that spells curiosity and trouble, before he grabs your hand and pulls you into a corner. Any movement Childe makes to leave his desk chair is immediately squashed by Teucer’s disapproval, and the older man is left to helplessly worry when you’re told to squat down so secrets can be whispered into your ear.

“He talks about you a lot whenever he calls home,” and you want to laugh at Tecuer’s attempt to sound as scandalous as possible. “All the time! I think he likes you, like, like like.”

Oh. Oh dear.

“What makes you say that?” You whisper back, indulging both yourself and him, yet also internally snickering at how troubled Childe looks.

“Sometimes, he video calls mama, but we’ll all sit around and talk, and whenever he’s talking about how he saw you or something, he just looks...happy. Really happy.”

The surprise on your face does nothing to settle Childe’s nerves and he’s about to start wringing his hands together. Whatever Teucer was telling you couldn’t be good, probably embarrassing, like the one time he unceremoniously fell on his ass while ice skating over a frozen lake, or when he tried fitting fifteen marshmallows in his mouth and nearly choked on them when their mother caught them in the act, or--

“I think he just thinks of me as a good friend,” you try to inform Teucer, not letting yourself get any semblance of hope. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“If you say so,” Teucer pouts. But then he stops whispering and bounds over back to his brother, grabbing the tablet before plopping down on the half-made bed.

“Look, I was overconfident and thought I could execute a perfect single loop on the ice, but there was a rock and I lost balance and--”

“I wasn’t being told any stories about you falling on ice, but do tell me more,” you chuckle and take some joy in watching the blush spread across his cheeks. It’s easy to tell that he’s mentally berating himself for jumping to conclusions.

“Well, first off, thanks for buying him all that, and my drink, too,” he sighs. “I spoil him enough as it is.”

“I can see why it’s hard not to,” you smile knowingly. “So is it just him here? Where’s the rest of your family?”

“Funny story, he somehow managed to convince my parents to let him come here on his own as his first ever plane flight, so I had to pick him up yesterday from the airport. He’s flying back with me tomorrow.”

“And the RA?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Ah...well...what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him? Speaking of, what was Teucer whispering to you about?”

There’s a pensiveness that overtakes you when you look at Teucer again, who’s happily playing some sort of game and completely oblivious to the rest of his surroundings. You won’t, can’t, take his words to heart, and will take them with a grain of salt at most.

“Nothing important. Although I did learn something new...Ajax?”

“Say my name -- fuck, say it, please--”

“I guess cat’s out of the bag,” he chuckles and looks away, absolutely unaware of the flare of heat that swirls in your stomach from the fleeting vision just now. “I came up with other nicknames as a kid to seem cooler, and they just stuck with me. Plus, the business world is full of people who just want something from you, or just a transactional relationship. I’d rather not give my real name to them, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s fair,” you nod and lean to sit on the edge of his desk. A thought pops into your head and you turn the words over in your head like a washing machine on the spin setting, teeth gnawing on the flesh of your bottom lip. If Teucer hadn’t been in the room, he would’ve been this close to kissing you.

“But if it’s worth anything,” your voice slowly, softly starts, cautious and wary of your thoughts. “I think...Ajax suits you best.”

Curse fate. Curse the legendary Archons. Curse karma and deities and spirits because all he wants to do right now is stand and tower over you, trap you between himself and his desk so you can’t escape, take those pretty lips between his until they’re bruised and swollen because of him, hear you call out his name in the throes of pleasure so he can finally replace his fantasies with tangible memories. The unnatural, magnetic pull that draws him to you is unbearable now -- he feels like he’ll lose the last tendrils of his sanity if he doesn’t do something.

You can’t stop him from slowly reaching out to grab one of your hands, lifting it towards him until he’s close enough for you to feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. It sends a shiver down your spine and blood is pounding in your ears because you can’t begin to fathom what he’s thinking about while doing this, even more so when his lips make contact with your skin and your breath hitches, stuck in your throat as he languidly peeks at you beneath his eyelashes with a heated gaze, then lowly confessing, “My name sounds best when you say it.”

Good heavens.

It’s difficult to swallow and keep your composure, especially when Teucer yells out in glee over, what you can assume, beating something in his game, and Childe drops your hand. But his dilated pupils don’t retract in the slightest, refusing to let you look away so that maybe, you can understand what he’s trying to convey to you. He’s taking the first step because he’s terrible and can’t contain his self-control anymore, pushing the ball into your court, ready for you to either play or exit into the sidelines.

When you do blink, there’s a vision of your naked body wrapped around another, limbs clinging desperately to a sturdy and panting frame. Lips, much like the ones that have seared themselves onto your knuckles, are at your neck and sucking, biting, before moving to your ear and laying filthy words into them that drive you closer to the edge. It all happens so fast that you feel you’ve just experienced whiplash, yet also feeling secondhand embarrassment at how lewd some of these thoughts have been.

You can’t stay here any longer.

“I-I have to go,” spills off your tongue before you can really think about it. The way the haze shatters in his eyes is heartbreaking in its own way, but there’s no time for you to explain. Your brain is in overdrive and eager to run, run, run. It detects danger on all fronts, but you muster out a, “H-have a good break, come find me next semester, mmk?”

And you’re out the door with inhuman speed. When the door clicks shut, only then does Teucer look up from his screen and frown at the lack of your presence. “Where’d they go?”

Chlide doesn’t seem to hear him, and Teucer has never seen his big brother look so sad and confused before.

-

He holds on to that last tendril of hope, because mark his words, he will find you come January.

-

After about a week at home, enjoying the festive time with his family and mildly unconcerned about next year’s courses because that was a problem for another day, Childe has his first, crazy, nonsensical dream.

At least, that’s what he tells himself when he snaps awake and his body aches with exhaustion. Not only are his joints in agony, he also feels like he’s sporting unforeseen bruises, which makes absolutely no sense because he hasn’t done anything that would warrant them, no matter how much he and his brothers do some rough-housing. His night of sleep was all consumed by flashes and scenes of weapon fighting, lucid enough to remember feeling his arms flex and wield bows and double-headed polearms and being cognizant of all the enemies??? surrounding him. They ranged from deranged looking monsters, floating beings with soulless masks, and large humans in electricity-padded armor, to behemoth machines in the sky that could leave you within an inch of your life thanks to a drill for a hand?!

But what’s even worse is that you seem to have managed a deal with Morpheus himself and infiltrated his dreams. You were there, too, sometimes fighting with him, sometimes against him, much to his dismay, and while it was nice, he just didn’t get it. Why the friendliness and hostility? Why was there an anger that overtook him when looking directly at you, parrying your blade and sending harmful arcs of water toward your figure?

Why did he relish the fear in your eyes when he darted towards you with electricity cracking through the air?

There’s an overwhelming sensation now to grab his phone to text you and apologize -- for what, he can’t fathom and there are no words to accurately convey what he’s thinking. “Hey, sorry for wanting to kill you in my dream :( “? Or “Sorry for being a friend but then stabbing you in the back, but then being nice to you again”?

And the only thing that really made sense was the serenity and contentment that would course through his veins as the two of you danced around on ivory sandy beaches, picking up shiny blue starconches and taking down more weird creatures; the breathlessness when you would fall back into the water and re-emerge to reconfirm his beliefs that you were one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever laid his eyes on; the love--

Hold the fuck up.

He doesn’t love you. He likes you a whole lot and he’s severely and deathly attracted to you, but he doesn’t love you. Your existence has only been made known to him for about two months, and he didn’t really start talking to you until three weeks in. So no matter how comfortable he feels with you, no matter how much he wishes that you were sleeping peacefully next to him so his nights wouldn’t feel so lonely, it was too early, too hasty, to say that he loves you.

“I’ve been wondering, why didn’t you bring them home?” His mother asks him out of nowhere during breakfast, all to add to this extremely tumultuous roller-coaster morning he’s been having. All he wants to do is eat his bowl of milk and cereal, then potentially go back to sleep before fulfilling his promise to go with his siblings to the nearby skating rink. It takes everything in him to not choke on his spoon of grains.

“Agreed, didn’t you mention they didn’t really have any family to go back to and that the move to Liyue was semi-permanent?” His father chimes in, laying a quick peck on his wife’s temple. “It’s never fun to spend the holidays alone.”

“They would’ve felt like they were intruding,” Childe replies quietly, stabbing his bowl a few times before scooping up another spoonful of cereal to his mouth. “I know we’re friends, but we haven’t known each other for that long, and maybe they’d be uncomfortable because that’s a lot honestly…”

“You don’t know until you try,” his mother sings and pats him on the shoulder. “We do have a guest room after all.”

“For them and their twin?”

“And quite a comfortable futon with enough blankets.”

Childe smiles fondly at his parents’ kindness. He can only imagine what this winter break would’ve been like now -- you and your twin floating around, trying to help out with certain chores, sitting by the fireplace and watching TV, huddled up with mugs of hot chocolate, playing board games with everyone and engaging in all the shenanigans…

Laughing. Loving. Grinning. Basking.

Handing over one of his hoodies to you as a sick way of torturing yet blessing himself for seeing how lovely you look in his clothes, standing silently in the doorway as you attempt to help out with mealtimes next to his mother, watching you run around in the backyard and dodging his siblings’ snowballs while lodging a few of your own -- how wonderful it all would be.

But he squashes it down as quickly as possible, because you escaped his grasp. You ran away from his advances temporarily and even though you gave him permission to seek you out come the spring semester, he worries that you might take it back. Something will wake up inside of you to keep him out of your heart and your life, and he’s not confident enough at this point to believe there’s a good chance you will come spend the holidays with him and his family next year.

“Maybe next year, ma,” he sends her a hesitant, yet somewhat broken purse of his lips that’s just the least bit curved. It tells her everything he’s thinking, and the quick patting of his cheek lets him know she understands.

Half an hour later, Childe finds himself curled up on his side under the sheets, phone in hand as he stares at a blinking cursor. It shouldn’t be so hard to send a text to convey his holiday greetings, because that’s all it is -- part of him is becoming desperate and aching for some interaction with you, even if it’s just a text sent back for conventional social pleasantries. He’ll take it for now, right?

Before he can totally chicken out, his thumbs quickly type a, “Happy Holidays, (y/n) :)”, and it’s a little embarrassing how quickly after he hits the ‘send’ button that he tosses it over his shoulder so he’s not directly looking at it anymore. His heartbeat is too quick and he prays for no phantom vibrations or phantom sound notifications to avoid any disappointment of thinking he got a reply. It was a harmless text, yet he’s treating it like he just got assigned on a mission to go and murder someone for the first time. What will he do if you never text him back? Does that mean you really don’t want to talk to him? Are you dead in a ditch somewhere? Did you change numbers and not tell him? Did your twin get all the details and make the executive decision to block his number? Will he never get a chance to talk to you again, even if it’s about something in the Teyvat Mythology class next semester? Will you--

His shoulder screams in protest when he quickly flips himself over at the text notification sound, hands shakily unlocking his phone and opening up your conversation again. His heart rate significantly decreases, reaching back to its normal pace, especially as he reads the little words on his screen.

“Happy Holidays, Ajax ^^”

There is hope.

-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

You’re huddled under the comforter of your twin’s bed, phone just peeking above the edge as you stare at it with a brightness in your eyes. For the most part, you had been sulking there, apart from meals and going back to your own room to sleep, and mentally berating yourself for the way you reacted to Childe the week before.

“He just texted me to say happy holidays,” shrugging to put on a facade of indifference. It’s stupid that you’re trying to hide your feelings from your twin of all people, who could pick apart and identify your emotions in a heartbeat. A roll of his eyes lets you know that you haven’t fooled him at all.

“So you think that whatever comment he made, which was very suggestive and indicative of clearly non-platonic feelings, was just something...friendly? Remind me again how you came to that conclusion?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” You whine, looking around to see if there was anything you could toss at him. “It’s just, with everything, all the dreams and stupid gut feelings, I just -- I don’t know, okay?? I can’t tell you enough how much I wish I had just kissed his stupid face and see where it goes from there.”

“Okay, gross, but don’t beat yourself up. Though...I do have a good idea on how to maybe get a good reaction out of him. You wanna go to the New Years’ celebration at Xiangling’s?”

“I think she’d threaten me with a knife if I didn’t. She wanted to go shopping at some point, too.”

“I’ll drop the overprotective brother act for one night, okay? One night, just to let this happen, and for your peace of mind.”

He does a fair amount of conspiring with Xiangling, a friend they met one time at a restaurant a couple years ago, even tagging along on the shopping trip. Together, the three of you find yourself a dress that Xiangling swears would make any person drool over you, including Childe, because at the end of the day, he was a person with the possibility of being attracted to you.

You think it’s a bit silly, but honestly, what do you have to lose at this point?

-

At 11:57PM on New Years’ Eve, Childe is standing outside in the freezing cold with his family, arms lifting up bags of sparklers and fireworks. They’ve driven out closer to the wild like they do every year, and everybody excitedly gets lighters ready, making sure someone’s got a clock out there that tells the seconds. As the younger kids open up the packaging and argue over which one to set off first, Childe’s phone vibrates in his coat pocket.

It’s 11:58PM when he manages to fish the device out and thank himself for buying gloves that are touch-screen friendly, excited to see that there are two texts from you, the latter reading, “Happy New Year!”. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little early, but he’s mainly intrigued by the fact a photo came before it. In his mind, you’re probably curled up with your twin brother, hopefully a selfie because wow, he misses your face.

He gets something else instead, and he is so glad that it’s dark outside and the electric lamp they have is too far away from him to draw any attention.

You have your arm around your brother’s waist and another girl’s that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s a full frontal view of your outfit, one that hugs your curves beautifully and shows more cleavage than he’s ever seen from you, sophisticated and elegant, yet fun and leaving enough to the imagination. There’s a bright smile coming from all of you, and you look like you’re at someone’s house or apartment with plenty of other people milling around in the back, but they don’t matter, not when all he can focus on is you.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, arousing, mind blowing, and gods, he wishes he could teleport to Liyue at this moment, find you, and kiss you right at midnight. Fuck the fact that he doesn’t exactly believe in superstitions like, “Kissing your significant other at midnight means you’ll last forever!” but he’s willing to take the chance with it on this night and the ones after, if he’s allowed. He tries not to think too much about pinning you against the wall and letting the world dissolve -- wants to be the one with the privilege to drag down that zipper and feel his bare skin on yours, and --

As Teucer starts yelling there’s only a minute left, he instinctively locks his phone and shoves it away out of anyone’s view. The last thing he needs is his family teasing him about ogling at your photo for a straight 50 seconds, wide-eyed and pupils on the verge of dilating, the visible breath leaving his mouth just a smudge more dense and prominent than usual.

The only thing he can do to distract himself from popping a boner in front of his parents is to join in on the countdown, making sure all the fireworks are set up correctly and grabbing a sparkler for himself. He waves it around with Tonia and promises to fulfill her wishes of taking one of those pictures right as she draws a pattern in the air. Their excitement is palpable and addicting, and even though the larger fireworks set off a few seconds after midnight hits, the nostalgia fills his lungs with fond memories and future wishes that they only continue this tradition for as long as possible, and hopefully, with you at his side.

-

When it’s 12:04AM, you get a picture message back of Childe bundled up in a black paletot coat, matching beanie and all, a gloved hand holding a sparkler and lips curved upwards, with a caption that says, “Happy New Year’s! See you soon :)”. You show it to Xiangling and your brother, both taking it as a win in their books, although the former does tipsily protest that there should be a better indicator of Childe’s brain breaking at how amazing you look right now. Maybe she’s prophetic, because another text chimes in and the words set you aflame, as well as suggestive whoops into your ears.

It’s a simple, “You look incredible btw”.

If you didn’t want to properly savor this moment, you would’ve found the nearest shot of the strongest liquor and tossed it back with abandon. But you want to remember the warmth in your veins that wasn’t from the alcohol or the heating, the fluttering of your heartbeat, the teeth-baring grin that you couldn’t fight off, the constant re-reading of those four words -- because they’re so different from everything you had been feeling before with him, the need for protection, the need to escape. Instead, you’d like to be in his arms right now and see for yourself how he’d look at you in this moment, and if he would take any action.

You want him to. So, so bad.

-

Childe spends his last week at home hating the fact that you’re just sitting around somewhere in Liyue, doing whatever you’re doing, probably doing some light preparation for your last semester of classes, and he’s not there to take advantage of all this free time and hang out with you. When classes start, it’ll be busy and hectic. You still have your thesis to finish and revise, and while that won’t eat up all your time, it’s still some that he’d want to fill in with his presence if he could. He debates whether or not he should ask for your schedule and compare it with his, maybe set up meetings every other day or propose that they all eat one meal together every day. Childe’s not quite sure of what you plan to do after graduation, as it hasn’t come up in conversation yet, but either way, he’s determined to stay in contact and make things work out. Long distance isn’t ideal, but with technology now, he’ll take it.

He feels a little bad for how excited he probably looked to be leaving home, uncharacteristic for the most part. His older siblings have already gone back to their respective homes, and it’s mainly Teucer and Tonia that worry and tear up when he starts packing his belongings. Tonia finds it unfair that Teucer got to meet you first and the latter makes sure to rub it into everyone’s faces. It’s hard for Childe to sleep on the plane because he’s thrumming with excitement, yet somehow even more nervous than usual when the plane hits small bouts of turbulence, and he doesn’t seem to relax until he sets foot back on campus.

He’s here. It’s January, and you’re physically closer to him than ever in the last two weeks.

-

“Found you.”

On the first day of classes, you’re sitting alone with some salad greens in a bowl, poking your fork at some scraps while you watch something on your phone, earbuds in and back towards the entrance of the canteen. It would explain the unannounced entrance of the very person who’s been at the forefront of nearly every thought in the last 96 hours, his fingers gingerly removing an earbud to surprise you as best as possible, and you startle in your seat.

Your heart kicks into overdrive when he hands you back your earbud and pulls out the seat next to you, setting his own plate of food down as he plops down in his chair. But then he says nothing afterwards, instead choosing to send you a cheeky grin before digging in. You’re left to slowly phase out of your state of shock, stuck between either running away or frantically texting your twin to come and save you even though he was off on a date with Keqing.

It’s not that you weren’t elated at the fact that Childe had done exactly as you told him last month, you just weren’t...prepared? It’s a shitty excuse and a cop out -- you’re mainly just having trouble with racking your brain to find the right words. What are you supposed to say? What should you do? Is it socially acceptable to lean over and kiss him on the cheek because that’s what you’d like to impulsively do at this very second??

“So you did,” you settle and steal a roasted potato wedge from his plate. It’s his turn to be taken by surprise, but he gets over it much quicker than you do. In fact, he spears two wedges and drops them in your bowl, smiling at you as best as he can with a mouth full of food. You give them your thanks before the silence settles in again.

“Did you have a good break?” He asks before his next bite.

“I did. You?”

“It was nice. My parents said I should’ve brought you and your twin home to spend the holidays with us. Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind before finals.”

Holy shit, what? “We couldn’t intrude like that, but that’s really nice of you guys.”

“That’s okay, there’s plenty of chances to visit later.”

You tilt your head and furrow your eyebrows. “But we graduate this semester?”

Childe challenges you with one of his own eyebrows raised. “And? Are we never gonna see each other again?”

Honestly, the possibility had occurred to you. You aren’t entirely sure of Childe’s plans after graduation, and if that meant he was staying in Liyue or going back to Snezhnaya or even moving to Inazuma or Mondstat. While people preach on and on about how lasting friendships and relationships are often formed during college, you believe it’s more common to slowly drift apart as life gets busier. And if Childe moved away, or if you did, it’d be hard to consistently keep in touch with 10 hour workdays.

The thought saddens you, regardless. You like him so much and you’re glad that he was even in your life to begin with, because as unbelievable as it sounds, seeing him was almost akin to the feeling of coming home. Amidst all your nerves, your confusion, your spiraling thoughts, something deeply sated in your heart was a comfort that you found with very few people in your life whenever in his presence.

The thought of leaving and never looking back somehow doesn’t feel new -- it’s bittersweet, but the air in your lungs feels like it’s surrendered to something, like it was to be expected.

“You can’t just leave without telling me--”

“It was last minute! I had no choice!”

“You could’ve written up a message, anything--”

“Can you imagine the position you’d be in if the message got intercepted? I wouldn’t have been safe, she’d make you come after me--”

“As if you’d be any safer in Inazuma of all places! That’s the one place I can’t easily get to!”

“I can take care of myself, Childe, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“This isn’t about me protecting you, (y/n) and -- stop walking, will you?!”

“Then what is this about?” You spin on your wheel with eyes aflame. “Why are you so angry with me? It’s normal for me to disappear for weeks at a time, why was this any different?”

“Because you could’ve died!” He yells back in despair, chest heaving. Your silence is his cue to continue. “You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have known until much later. You could’ve died and all I’d ever think about were the things I never got to say to you, and how I wish I had treated every day with you like it was our last.”

It isn’t hard to tell that you’re stunned and at a complete loss for words. Childe often hides behind facades of charm and wit, and only when he is truly weak does he choose to be this vulnerable, baring his heart for you to see.

“I only have two nightmares in this world. One, my family being harmed in any way. Two, reading in a report or hearing from an agent that you’ve been captured and killed.”

“I like to think that we will.”

His hand reaches out to lay on top of yours, giving it a quick squeeze. “Well, let’s make the most of it this semester.”

Conversation afterwards is easy, filling each other in on holiday activities. Childe speaks extensively about several family traditions and you listen with rapt attention, basking in how fond he is of all of them. Even as you both bring your dishes to the return belt and leave, he immediately offers to drive you both somewhere to get boba, noticing your reluctance to part ways. But boba shops have to close, and you both have class tomorrow morning, and you’re both finding any excuse to keep talking, even if that means sitting outside your dorm building on a nearby bench.

You eventually bid each other good night’s and see you later’s, him refusing to walk away until the heavy door locks shut behind you after you swipe your student ID, and you looking over your shoulder to watch his figure disappear into the night.

-

True to his intentions, Childe makes great efforts to meet you at least once a day, and he can’t get enough. Each parting from you tugs and tugs at his heart, as if there’s a high possibility you’ll never want to see him again the next day, and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Your twin and Childe get along well for the most part, and he even meets Xiangling on one of her shifts at her regular restaurant, who sends you a salacious wink and an eyebrow wiggle over his shoulder that nearly causes you to burst from embarrassment.

February rolls over without a hitch, even if you’re a little disappointed that Childe didn’t make a move for Valentine’s Day. Granted, you two still spent time with each other and he’s so darn physically affectionate and he bought you a carnation from the event his dorm held, but you wish you had the guts to fess up and just kiss the man.

It’ll happen some day, you tell yourself. You have time before graduation.

Two days before the end of the Friday that would signal the start of Spring Break, you wake up in a cold sweat, mind reeling and head splitting, heart so so heavy, as a connection is made between your present and your dreams. Not long after, there are tears streaming silently down your face and into your open palms placed in your lap, and you sit in shock as everything comes back to you. Memories are such treasured burdens, you realize.

For the most part, you had gotten used to the dreams, choosing to take charge of what you know and feel now with Childe over succumbing to some strange neurological premonitions. Especially in your dreams when many people’s faces were blurred over and hazy, and the only things you could rely on were voices, touch, and other physical features. You thought that maybe your mind was just playing tricks by transposing Childe’s hair onto a body that was also strikingly similar to his, but for the first time last night, you could see each defining feature on his face as clear as day.

The sight of his figure arching gracefully over yours, the water arrows that appeared out of thin air, the back that protected you from some military men, the voice that said, “Hey girlie, hold still.”

And that was when you had snapped awake to your current state.

Past the initial shock and uncontrollable tears, you soon bent over as sobs wracked your chest, overwhelmed by all the emotions and the pain the memories brought you; losing your twin, finding him to only be left with even more questions after roaming for decades and decades, meeting all your loved ones throughout Mondstat and Liyue, fighting yet falling so hard for Childe, feeling the fear when facing his Foul Legacy form, hating him for Osial, loving him, breathing heavily as the tip of your blade was pointed at his neck and his own just centimeters from yours, tendrils of water inching closer and closer--

Everything makes sense now.

When you meet your twin for lunch at the cafeteria, you pay no mind to the fact that you’re in public and hug him harder than you ever have in years. He’s already a little alarmed that your eyes seem swollen and you look like finals came two months early, but when he asks what’s wrong, all he gets is a shake of your head and nothing more than, “Just a bad nightmare. I love you, y’know that?”

“I love you too?”

“Don’t sound so unsure, now let’s go and get in line before they run out of Jueyun Chili Chicken.”

Even when you meet Xiao later in the early evening to talk about your thesis, you find yourself holding back more tears just two minutes in, reminded of his past and his own life, and he’s moderately concerned, hesitantly handing you a tissue from the corner of his desk when a stray tear escapes. “Is everything okay?” He hesitantly asks, really hoping that he didn’t do anything to make you cry.

“No,” you almost wail and sniffle while dabbing at your eyes. “Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.”

Xiao’s inquisitive gaze softens, remembering how hard undergraduate life could be sometimes. Graduate school was a whole other level, but that shouldn’t discount your own personal difficulties. Plus, in all of the year and a half that he’s known you, you’ve never broken down like this before in front of him.

“You work really hard, Xiao,” you continue, and he’s not sure where this is coming from. “You’re always so helpful and willing to work with me and answer my stupid questions and like-- you practice self-care, right?”

Xiao nods as a white lie, but it seems to comfort you. Maybe too much because you pull him in for a quick and unexpected hug, and you both decide to reschedule this meeting for tomorrow.

As per usual, you wait for Childe to join you for dinner since you finished up earlier than expected. It gives you more time to think about everyone from Mondstat -- Kaeya, Diluc, Lisa, Jean, Amber...funny to think that some things never changed as you compared their past version to the ones you know now.

“Mora for your thoughts?”

There’s a peace that warms your heart when you hear Childe’s voice, one that forces you to smile at him as he sits down next to you. “Just thinking about old friends.”

“I have to admit, I’ll be a little jealous if it’s another guy taking up more space than me in that pretty brain of yours.”

What a flirt. This man isn’t good for your heart. “Who said you had any to begin with?”

He dramatically places a hand over his heart. “You wound me, (y/n). How will I ever recover?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you snicker. Childe reaches over to pinch your cheek and you bat at him in protest. Easily, he grabs one of your hands and simply pulls you towards the food lines, knowing that you’ll stop fighting back soon.

Part of it feels strange now to feel and see his hands with no leather gloves on.

“Childe,” you start halfway through your meal, continuing after he hums back in reply. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

He freezes briefly, but recovers so quickly that if you hadn’t been watching so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed. “I think it’s neat, the idea of having past lives. Why do you ask?”

What he really wants to ask is if you’ve been having those dreams, too; if he’s starring in your nights like you have been in his.

“Just a thought, especially since you’re taking Teyvat Myth now, too.”

“Do you...do you think if there was a past life, that we knew each other?”

There’s something about the look of content on your face before you meet his gaze -- he thinks that you know more than you’re letting on but you’re holding back for some reason. He wants to know what’s going through your brain right now, why the fondness in your eyes sends a jolt through him like he’s been searching for it all his life, if you know anything about this magnetic pull between you two.

“I like to think that we knew each other well.”

-

Even though the first day of your returned memories was somewhat eventful, you couldn’t help but feel yourself wanting to pull back from Childe -- at least, until you can successfully compartmentalize which emotions belonged to you past self and which ones belonged to your current mindset. You didn’t quite agree with his duties and his affiliation with the Fatui back then, even if he had his reasons that did make sense, to some degree.

The killing, the threatening, so intent on stealing Rex Lapis’s Gnosis in the name of the Tsaritsa, summoning Osial as a mean to an end -- and you definitely can’t forget how stubborn he was in not listening to your protests, so caught up in his brain that you had betrayed him and sent you plummeting to a near-death experience despite his earlier promise of no intention of killing you specifically.

Everything had been toeing a faint, thin line with Childe then. Undeniable chemistry and tension, guarding yourself for yours and Paimon’s safety, slashing at Fatui agents, whispering out pleas and affirmations of “I’m yours” while riding him, sometimes having to sneak out in the mornings…

The only thing you don’t remember is how everything ends -- maybe it’ll come back to you eventually, but for now, you think you’re okay not knowing.

If Childe still doesn’t remember anything from back then, you think it’d be unfair to spend time with him in all your conflicting emotions, even when it’s spring break, where you have so much more hours in the day to be with each other than normal. Fun plans around Liyue had been made, like a two-day one-night trip to Yaoguang Shoal, and you’re this close to cancelling on him.

But he had been looking forward to it so much, even made most of the preparations for it. Who are you to rob that joy from him when it was you who couldn’t figure out your own shit? Are you self-destructing?

Perhaps.

Before you know it, you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, staring out the window at the scenery. Somehow, it pleased you to see that the nature of Liyue had been carefully preserved over the many centuries despite its development into the modern age. You get lost in picking apart the differences between then and now that you don’t notice how quiet you’ve fallen and Childe looks over worriedly when you show no reaction to your favorite songs playing on the stereo.

Even when he calls your name once, twice, nothing gives as you clearly have tuned everything out. So he leaves you be until there’s about half an hour left on the drive, unable to hold back and succumbing to reach over for your hand. You startle so strongly that he almost feels bad for having done it unannounced. But what’s even more disturbing is that this isn’t really the first time.

You’ve been talking to him less, often sitting quietly and staring off into another world that he can’t seem to reach. His texts are answered less frequently and with less wit and enthusiasm, so much so that he just appreciates you still show up to see him. Each time he asks if you’re okay, you always affirm that you are. He’s had a hard time believing you, but Childe believes you’ll tell him when you’re ready, surely.

It’s a little ironic yet fateful that Childe planned to bring you here, of all places. In the past, you had spent many days and nights running around in the sand with him, fighting slimes and hilichurls and collecting starconches for him. You remember laying on a large towel next to him as you both looked up into the sky, pointing out stars and constellations while sharing endless kisses away from prying, spying eyes.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve zoned out,” you sincerely apologize.

“It’s okay, I just wanna make sure you relax while we’re here. This is supposed to be a vacation.”

“You’re right,” you agree and squeeze his hand. “Let’s make the most of it before we become adults who are too busy to have fun like this again.”

And you do. Childe rented a small beach cabin (rich boys) closer to one end of the shoreline, just big enough with two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a small kitchen with a dining table. You help him bring in your bags and some groceries bought the night before, setting them down quickly so you can peer out the window again to take in the view. Childe picked a good time, too. Although it’d be a little chilly at night, the day was still warm and mainly overcast with clouds.

“What do you say we change into our swimsuits and head down to the water?”

“Sure.”

Childe hadn’t really been expecting for you to step out in a large, casual tee and gym shorts, one shoulder exposed. He might have been hoping to see a little more skin, but his mother didn’t raise a chauvinistic pervert for a son.

The light in your eyes as you both approach the water is everything he had been missing the last few days, your excitement and joy contagious. As soon as you place everything down on the sand, you kick off your flip flops and leave him behind to step into the water, giggling at feeling the waves crash over your ankles and bring sand between your toes. Childe approaches you from behind and starts smearing sunblock on the back of your neck, to which you just grin beautifully at him in thanks and he has to fight off the desire to kiss you right then and there.

You’re too caught up in embracing the ocean afterwards to feel the shrinking distance between you two, mistaking his warmth for the general spring air. It isn’t until he’s done with your shoulders that he hands you the bottle to leave you to do the rest of your body, and when you turn to thank him, he’s much closer than you remember. His eyes are gentle, holding your gaze and almost daring you to look away first.

But if there’s one thing you can place without a shred of doubt, it is the unmistakable look of love, because you had seen it many, many times before without knowing until later what it meant.

How so incredibly lucky you were to have Childe back in your life now, loving you all the same, and with no life-threatening barriers. Fate or the Archons have given you a second chance, and you’d be damned to take it for granted.

Childe welcomes your lips against his, wasting no time to bring you into his arms so you’re pressed against him as much as possible. He can’t care for the overt public display of affection because this is everything he’s wanted for months now, waiting patiently for you to give him permission to make you his. Your lips are incredibly soft and pliant against his as you first kiss him patiently, then applying more force and desperation to taste more of him. He mirrors you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other on your neck with a thumb extended to your jawline, teeth moving to nip at your bottom lip. It’s dangerous, the way you smile against his lips, and when he sinks his teeth in deeper before pulling back, your quiet mewl nearly drives him over the edge.

But you’re in public, and this was an amazing first kiss. You two have a beach to enjoy and a fun night planned, and now that he doesn’t have to hold back on his affections, it’ll be even better.

His lips part from yours regretfully, his eyes languidly opening to meet yours. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a blue starconch in the sand and freezes.

It’s not that he’s never seen one before, but something clicks. You. The shore. Starconches. Starry nights. His dreams. Monsters. Gods. Fighting. So much fighting. Training. His family. Dragons. You. Falling. You falling. You fighting him. Yelling. Kissing. Loving. Chasing. Him chasing you before you disappear at a teleport waypoint that somehow you only can operate. The abyss. Your twin.

Oh, Archons.

“ -ou okay, Ajax? Ajax?”

He snaps to look at you again. How does he go about this? How does he ask?

“(Y/n)...have you ever heard of the Fatui Harbingers?”

He has to admit that it’s a bit amazing to be able to identify all the emotions that cross your complexion, from curiosity to realization to conflicted. You’re actively trying to piece everything together without revealing too much on the off-chance that you’re wrong, that Childe hasn’t regained his memories and is just asking about something from class randomly and completely out of the blue.

Wait.

“You haven’t reached that material yet in class,” you whisper, heart in your throat at the realization. Could it really be…

“I was once Tartaglia, eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, who possessed a Delusion and used my Foul Legacy Transformation with you several times,” he murmurs back, tucking a stray tendril behind your ear. “Is it too late to apologize again for summoning an ancient god and letting you fall about five floors with no warning?”

He should’ve been prepared for you wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “No, never, but I spent weeks after kicking your ass so you’ve been long forgiven.”

Childe burrows his face into your neck, breathing in your scent and basking in this moment. There was so much to talk about, but you two arguably had more time in the world than ever with nothing holding you back. There was no impending war looming over, no one on the run, no opposing forces. His silent wish for a different life with you seems to have been answered finally. If running into you had been the event to set everything in motion, he only wishes he’d done so earlier.

All that matters now is you’re here together in this plane of existence, given a chance to love again, and experience everything you couldn't before.

As written in the stars, take my soul for it is forever yours.

fin

[wwalkingdread]

May I request prompt 21 with Mitch please? Thank you!! Have a great day!! Thanks!!

❥ Mascara

Prompt: “I’ve been waiting forever to hear that”

Characters: Mitch

Description: During a playful game of truth or dare, Mitch realises exactly how you feel about him.

Warnings: Cussing, suggestive jokes, playing ‘flip’ marry kill.

Notes: Not used to writing for Mitch to be honest… And thank you!! You have a great day too!! I’ve been naming recent works after song titles because I haven’t been feeling that creative. Shoutout if you recognise them <33

Your chipped nail found itself on the edge of the card, gulping before flipping it over. You inspected everybody else’s cards before your own.

“Queen of hearts,” Louis said, to which everybody mumbled amongst themselves, looking over each other’s shoulders to see what cards they had. None had anything better than a Queen.

“Shit…” You cussed quietly, causing a few heads to turn. You sighed harshly, lifting your card, “I got a three.” You announced with a scowl.

“Truth or dare?” Louis asked, grinning.

You answered quickly, “Truth.”

Louis’s lips curled into a smirk, “Flip…” He began, and you loudly groaned as people erupted into giggles, “Marry, kill…”

“Mitch,” Louis started, Mitch’s head shooting upward as his humoured grin faded and his eyes widened. He shot Louis a heated glare, which Louis only returned with a knowing look, one you didn’t quite catch.

“Aasim and…” He gestured to himself, “Me, of course.” He eyed Mitch from the side of his eye, seeing his nostrils flare.

“Well, I’d flip Mitch. That one’s pretty easy.” Everybody’s eyes shot toward Mitch, who hoped that the way he suddenly went to scratch his nose wasn’t a blatantly obvious attempt of hiding his flustered face.

“Easy, you say?” Louis said, wiggling his brows with a grin.

You crossed your arms tightly against your chest, “Well yeah.” You scoffed, “He’s the prettiest, I like him the most.“ You paused, “I don’t know a guy as great as him.” Your voice trailed off, your eyes catching Mitch’s, whose face tinted red. You gulped, immediately looking away. Aasim exhaled a laugh from where he sat, which was closest to Mitch.

Violet giggled, “Wow, and Mitch is just the flip option? Whoever you chose to marry must be pretty great.” Violet quipped.

You dismissively waved your hand, shrugging, “I don’t care about marriage. It’s a throwaway answer ‘cause I can just get a divorce.” You finally smiled, trying to hide your embarrassment, “That’s why I’m giving it to Louis.”

Louis’ hand clutches at his shirt, taking a theatric, pained gasp, “Ouch…” he groaned.

Aasim hummed, tracing the spade shapes on his card with his fingernail, “Then I guess you’re killing me then.”

“I guess so.” You answered, aloof “No hard feelings.”

“So, you killed Aasim, divorced Louis and… Flipped Mitch? Because he’s pretty, and he’s amazing and you really, really like him?” Violet recounted with a grin. Her voice raised in pitch as she got further into the sentence, mocking you.

“Oh, shut up.” You kicked at her with your leg, only making a giggle bubble from her throat, You scoffed, feeling your ears burn bright, “Fucking setting me up…” You scowled, Louis smugly looking back at you,

“That was all you.” He said.

“I’m already choosing a new card.” You sang.

Again, everybody silently turned over their card. Violet held up hers. A seven of clubs. She curiously looked around, noticing that everybody seemed to have a card no higher than a five except for her.

“Anybody got lower than a two…?” Mitch sighed, holding his two of spades up to show the rest of the group.

“There isn’t a card lower than a two,” Aasim stated, to which Mitch cussed quietly.

Mitch held his hard up again to Aasim, “But what about one?“ He corrected himself, “An ace?”

“We’re playing by poker’s rules, Mitchel.” Louis called from across the fire. Mitch mumbled a small ‘that’s bullshit’ under his breath, carelessly shoving his card at the bottom of the deck.

“Okay, Mitch.” Violet began, “truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Mitch said, a confident smile stretching across his lips.

Louis flashed his teeth in Mitch’s direction, nudging Violet with his elbow “Considering we just found out how eager a certain someone is to ‘flip’ you, this could go in many directions.” You and Mitch went tense, Aasim’s gaze going back and forth between you like a tennis ball, a curious grin resting on his face. Your eyes danced around each other, trying not to look at one another in the eye, but still wanting to know what the other was thinking.

Violet groaned, “But it’s not going to.” She said harshly with a warning glare that made Louis lift his arms defensively. You and Mitch both relaxed, both bursting into a vibrant red. Violet noticed your reactions, smirk painting her face, “It’s just going to be pretty close.”

You slumped in your chair, chewing the inside of your cheek. Mitch held his breath, sitting tensely.

Violet wore a lopsided beam, “It’ll just be seven minutes in heaven, but instead it’ll be seven minutes in the school’s basement.”

“Oh, that’s fucked!” You exclaimed. “Do we at least get a flashlight?”

“Nope!” Violet said, “Just don’t go too far in and you should be fine.”

You and Mitch looked at each other briefly, swallowing nervously as you both rose to your feet, hearing Louis whistle from behind you. Violet followed you two to the basement. You knocked into her with your shoulder as you went down, huffing a sigh in agitation.

You lifted your hand to present Violet with your middle finger, but she just slammed the door shut, the sound making both you and Mitch flinch. You heard her chuckle as she locked the door, her heavy boots making their way back to the campfire.

“This is stupid.” You grumbled, sat at the bottom of the stairs with your arms crossed.

Mitch chuckled at your comment, “It’s been a while since I’ve been down here.” He said, only a step or two above you. You two fell into silence. You heard the echo of Mitch scratching the back of his neck, clicking his tongue to block out the quiet.

Amid the awkward silence, you turned to face him, looking up at Mitch from where you sat, “Uh, sorry about what I said up there. Now we’re down here and… I made it weird.” You trailed off, face going scarlet. Mitch laughed, elbows on his knees as he edged himself downward toward you,

“Are you kidding?” He said, grinning, “I’ve been waiting forever to hear that.” You could see the moon hit his eyes from the slight crack in the basement door, shining brightly.

Your face lingered on his freckled features, “All I did was call you pretty…” You chuckled shyly, biting your lip and looking back at the dark abyss of the basement.

“You said more a lot more, but just that would’ve been good enough for me.” He shrugged. His smug smile faded, his scraped hand going to rub at his collar bone, “But, uh, seriously… What you said there… I’m just going to go ahead and ask…”

Mitch sucked in a breath, “Do you… Like me?”

You let out a dry laugh, brushing a stray hair out of your face, “What gave it away?”

“What didn’t?” The brunette chuckled, “But, uh, I’m glad to hear that… That stupid stunt Louis pulled was because he knew I was into you… It scared me shitless.” Mitch sighed, relieved, “I was freaking out that you’d kill me.”

“I would’ve tried to be more subtle.” You fiddled around with the cuff of your jeans, trying to distract yourself from the large grin you were attempting to bite back, “But then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“True that.” Mitch said, taking in his surroundings once more. He glanced up at the small crack, clearing his throat with a flustered face, “So, uh, how many minutes do you think we’ve got left?”

You smirked, positioning yourself so you were propped up on Mitch’s knee, looking up at him from your low position, “Not enough to do more than just kissing.”

“I wasn’t…” Mitch blushed, seeing your teasing glance in the darkness, “Shut up.” He said, bashfully eyeing you as you got up and leaned over him, one hand on his knee and the other on the step.

“Let’s get this over with.” You said, laughing into his parted lips.

“Y-Yeah…” He stuttered out, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you closer.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[witchofinterest]

It’s my birthday! well, i’m making this post in advance, but i’m gonna post it on my birthday! i haven’t liked my birthday in years, but i love you all, so let’s talk about it!!! okays, it’s today! god, i love you all so much, and you’ve all given me a real sense of belonging and i wanna say thank you again! and if i somehow missed you, know i love you too, i just have a bad memory.

@foxesandmagic hey birthday twin!! yiu have lovely and you are so so nice i love any chance to converse with you!

@twinmasks you were the first person i was really friends with on here, and a big part of me feeling welcome in the community and i think you should know that! also, you are just so cool and talented, and i am always in awe of everything you say and make!

@nolanhollogay water sign besties! i adore you, it feels like we’ve been friends for 20 years allready! i hope we are friends for a lot longer, also you are one of the best people i know, and i want you to know that!!!!

@luucypevensie grace you are the sweetest girl ever!!!!!! ever!!!! you are sunshine in human form!! i love you so much!!! 💛💛💛

@whindsor hey nich!!!! i love you so much, you’re an excellent and amazing friend, and i adore you beyond words!!! god, i love you so much and i am so so proud of you, from your consistent updates to finishing your story!!!!! you put so much into life, and yiu deserve nothing but the best back!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@kazinejghafa keke my beloved!!!! you are like, a real life disney princess! i mean, birds should follow you around if they allready don’t! i love you! you always make me feel like: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💚❤️💛💙💛❤️🧡💛💚💚🧡🧡🧡🧡❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@ocfairygodmother you absolutely live up to your name! you are the backbone of this community and i couldn’t be more grateful to have you as a friend!!!

@anotherunreadblog you are the mutual!!! you are so nice, sweet, cool, talented, cultured, and i could keep going on forever! love you!! 💙

@darknightfrombeyond you are the cool, slightly intimidating because their so good, mutual!!! you are also one of my sweetest mutuals, with the coolest updates! you’ve got it all! love you! ^ _ ^

@water-writings hey mel!!!!! you are so sweet and supportive to everyone and your are so talented too and i love you!! and i am so happy your at a better job now!!!!! 💙

@elenapetrova hey tessa!!! god, we’ve been friends for so long now! this is the second birthday i’ve been your friend and i hope many more to come!!! you are so strong and so good and so so amazing!!! i love you a lot and i hope you know that!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@taylorswiftrulestheworld heather! we just started talking, but your really sweet and talented and i had to include you!!

@perhapspearl pearl!! hello friend!!! i love whenever you rb things, and wow your writing is so good, regardless of whether it’s for your wonderful ocs or canon! and you have a gift for gifs too!! you are wonderful and talented!!

@richitozier hey mara!!!! you are so cool and you have such good taste in like, everything, and you are so fun to interact with!!!! love you!! ❤️

@lizziesxltzmxn hey Ali!!!!! you are a beloved mutual and i love talking to you and i love when you update about the things your watching/reading/etc, bc i always love to hear your thoughts on things!!!!

@starcrossedjedis hey sara!!!!!!! you are one of my favorite people ever, and even if your going through a rough time right now, your still the best, and ill always believe in you! love you a lot!!

@aceyanaheim hey acey!!!! you have the coolest ideas and i am so excited whenever i see you in my notifications and on my dash!!!! i love you!!!

@wokenhardies hey Siobhan!!! taking with you is a treasure!!!!! in fact, your a treasure!!!! i love you a lot!!!

@squirrelstone Squirrel!!! my cherished friend!!! i love you and all of your creations so so much!!!!!!! also, you are just the best!!!!!! this site wouldn’t be the same without you in it and i am so glad your here!!!

@alghulnyssa hello Flop! you probably didn’t know many others on this list, but we’re buddies and i wanted to put you here! you have the best taste in so many things! and the prettiest edits!!! your last nyssa one lives rent free in my head! and you are part of the reason i made this blog! also, i am gonna to try to be on instagram more, im sorry.

@randomestfandoms-ocs hey maddie!!! ah, you are such a good friend and i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!! you are the sweetest and super talented!!! ❤️❤️💖💖💖💜💜💜💜💜

@iron-parkr hey Rory!!!!! i am super proud of you and how you handle all your responsibilities!!! all of your stories you have out are so good and i love them all! and even more, i love you!!!!

@myoc-eansmind hey sof!!!!!!!! we haven’t been friends for too long, but you are such a good one and i love you!!!! also, you are just the sweetest!

@nightwingshero hey jodeci!!!!! your writing is so so good!!!! and i love your ocs, they have such cool and unique storylines!!! also, you are so nice and cool!!!!!!! :)

@ceruleanmusings mack!!!!! hello friend!!!!! i swear, reading anything you write is an absolute privilege i’m glad you allow!!! also, talking to yiu is always a highlight of my day!!! 💙💙💙

@raging-violets hey Ri!! Hey Rhu!!! god i love you both so so much!!!!!! from bonding over to shared interests to learning about things like narnia! being your friend is so so good!!! riley i admire your confidence in life! rhuben i admire your ability to never give up! and i love both of you so much!!!

@ben-bcrnes hey becca!!! you are so passionate about so many things and i love seeing you on my dash!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@stanshollaand hey!!! your blog and your ocs are so so cool, and even there only half as cool as you are!!! i hope to interact more in the future bc your awesome!!!

@cecesxwickedxocs hey cece!!! you are one of the most creative people i know!!!!!!! also, i love hearing about how your days going and your interests!!!

@fiercefray rachel my beloved!!!! i love you so so much!!!!!! you always come up with the coolest stuff for your ocs, and you have so many awesome interests!!!! and behind that, i just really love you a lot!!!!

@inkoutsidethelines ink!!!! hey buddy!!!!!!!!!!! you are so so amazing!!!! i love learning about you and your ocs and i hope to more!!!!

@padmeisqueen aaron!!!!!! we don’t talk a lot and i hope to change that, but from what i know you are super sweet and nice and make the prettiest aesthetics!!!!!

@the-october-reviewer hey ash!!! it’s been a minute, but if course you’d be on this post!!!! we’ve been friends for about 2 years now, if i’ve done my math correctly, and it’s been amazing!!!!! i love you so much, and i always love hearing about what’s caught your eye!

@pock-galliard sairaid!!! you are so cool and i love seeing all your posts on my dash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@codenamekryptonite V!!!!! hey, love. it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but i love you so so much, so i had to our you in this post!!!!!! you are such a good person and i love you and your ideas so so much!!!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@superspookyjanelle hey janelle!!! you put out so much quality content and i admire you so much for it!!!!

@ofbadcharacters hey gabbie!! idk if you still check your blog, but i love and miss you, and you made me feel so welcome last year, i had to include you in this post!! you are such a good friend and i really miss you! love you! ❤️

@phoebestarks hey phia!!!!!! you have the best, super intricate plots and i am constantly in awe!!!! also, you are so nice to converse with!!!

@whctsherncme-archive hey madi! you de-activated, bir i love you and you belong on this list!!!! you were such a good friend with the best ideas and i miss talking to you, and you, so much!

@mystic-scripture gwen!!!! it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but we’re friends!!!!! i love you and your ocs so much! you always knock it out of the park from the mcgrath clan to alex!!!!! your so good!!!!

@avengiers hey ari!!!!!!!! you are so so cool, and everything you make is so so pretty, and i just wanted to tell you that!

@shanaoharas hey dylan! you stopped using this account, but i wanted to include this bc we were good friends! and i have been meaning to catch up on your excellent stories! love you a lot!!!!

@cassercole hey lizzie, you are no longer with us, but i didn’t manage to make this post when you were like i meant to, so I wanted to add you. you were the first oc creator i followed (first account, actually) and you always made me so welcome in everything! you introduced me to so many things i love and i really miss you.

[merryfortune]

Love Letter to Your Poetry

Clover and Violets 2022

Day 2. Letters

Title: Love Letter to Your Poetry

Ship: not applicable | Ranze/Romin

Word Count: 1,914

Universe: Sevens - Canon Compliant

Rating: G

Tags: Fluff, Developing Relationship, Crushes

   Five. Seven. Five. 

   It really ought not to be that confounding and yet, Ranze puzzled endlessly over these constraints of syllables. Yes, no, yes again only for it to turn into a maybe. She was careful as she sounded out both her words and her thoughts, trying to convey emotion into the fluidity of poetry. She really felt like she was a little frog plummeting into the depths of an unknown pond right about now, thank you very much, Bashō Matsuo.

   Ranze grumbled to herself, all but painting her lips with the black ink that dripped off her calligraphy pen as she tried to utilise every inch of her soul to condense down into one simple haiku. In the depths of such heavy thoughts, Ranze hadn’t heard Romin come in and all but sneak up on her, even if she was walking normally, if a little intrigued by what her friend was up to in her spare time in the classroom.

   “Wow,” Romin said, gasping in awe as she peered over Ranze’s shoulder, “this is really good!”

   Her voice scared the living daylights out of Ranze who screamed like she had heard a ghost and because she was screaming, Romin screamed back in fright at having frightened Ranze first. If unintentionally. Romin’s mane of fuschia coloured hair was completely on end and she gawked and Ranze gawked back with her glasses hanging off her ear rather than sitting across the bridge of her nose and then.

   A breath. And then a sigh. From them both.

   “It's only you, Romin.” Ranze said, relieved, as she placed her hand on her chest to quell her rapidly beating heart.

   “Yup, only, er, me…” Romin replied. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

   “I didn’t mean to scare you either,” Ranze murmured, half a chuckle in her voice to diffuse the awkward tension between herself and Romin, “I was just so deep in thought, preoccupied with my poetry, that I didn’t notice you come in.”

   “Yeah, I only meant to grab my spare pair of drumsticks from my tub since Rook broke our usual pair, wish you’d been there, that was hilarious, but… I’m glad I dropped by. When I saw you trying to write something I got curious. I really like what you’ve got so far.” Romin rambled.

   “Thank you,” Ranze said, her lips pursed, “I’m not quite so content with my poems just yet.”

   “Well, I’ve got time and know a thing or two about writing song lyrics, they can’t be too different from each other.” Romin said and she pulled up a chair.

   Ranze smiled as Romin sat beside her. Romin scooted in her closer, the plastic, ergonomic chair squeaked and made a silly noise that made them both laugh again. Ranze pushed her journal closer to Romin and Romin’s eyes skimmed the white, lined paper and her face just lit up.

   “These are seriously super good, Ranze, but what’re you not happy with?” Romin asked.

   “Oh, well, um…” Ranze floundered. “I just worry that this is not the optimal image to express what I’m imagining, look, here, in this line…” She explained and pointed out which of her haiku she had written out that she was referring to.

Even flowers bloom longer

To see the light of the moon

In vernal basking

   It was just a three line poem, not quite enough to make a chorus, nothing more to Romin who wasn’t quite familiar with all the plumbed depths of writing haikus. And yet, she adored the idea of a flower blooming just to see the moon. It felt like it was really Ranze in her vision and execution and so, Romin really wanted to help Ranze polish it so she could tease out yet more wonder of the night in such the constraints of a haiku.

   Romin hummed to herself and before she knew it, she and Ranze were having a rapturous discussion about imagery and symbolism in both their mediums of choice. It really got the creative juices flowing for them both. Ranze whipped out a few more haiku of quality that she was increasingly proud of and Romin started on a new song as well. All in all, it turned into a very productive afternoon until the boys had come looking for Romin because why hadn’t she come back with the new drumsticks yet?

   Not that it mattered much as the school bell tolled one final time, signalling it was time for them to say their goodbyes. Though, Ranze hardly wanted to leave. Being a bookish nerd and self-admitted teacher’s pet, Ranze was like that most days but especially now, not when she and Romin had been having such a spectacular time, helping each other out in their writing but so be it.

   Still, returning home with both Rinnosuke and Gakuto, Ranze remained inspired after her jam session with Romin. As soon as she got home, she slammed the door to her room shut and pulled out one of her other journals. Ranze was an utter aficionado for journaling and stationary so every one held a different meaning and different purpose: she pulled out a blank one, one of her many blank ones, actually, that had diagonal black and white stripes on its cover.

   She sat at her desk and began to write. Words just poured out of the ink of her fluffy-tipped pen with ease. Ranze wrote haiku after haiku, even the occasional tanka interspersed as well. She was just so motivated and inspired, it was like magic. Sure, some of her prose turned out wonky but she didn’t hate it, she recalled Romin’s advice about a time and a place for different words, sure thye didn’t belong in this particular passage together but they still had a home in her journal. She could reuse ideas, rearticulate them and when Ranze revisited her more dissatisfied poetry, she found she was able to refine it, if a little bit more than before.

   Ranze couldn’t thank Romin enough.

   The following morning, at the schoolgates, Ranze had no other choice but to accost Romin. She simply had to at least thank her if meagrely compared to the gargantuan gratitude that she felt. Of course, this hounding enthusiasm scared Romin, causing them both to scream in fright at each other like the afternoon before.

   Ranze had meant nothing but the best of intentions as she leapt out from the side of the stone block schoolgates and grabbed Romin’s hands in fanaticism but she lived up to the reputation of her deck. Not to mention, Romin was not expecting this at all but once their screaming subsided, it fortunately gave way to laughter again.

   “We have got to stop doing that.” Romin chided Ranze playfully as she wiped away a tear from laughing too hard.

   “Yes, very much agreed.” Ranze replied all too quickly. “But I just had to see you, I have something to tell you.”

   Romin smiled, “What a coincidence, I also wanted to see you this morning because I also have something to tell you.”

   “Oh, you go first then.” Ranze politely insisted.

   “No, no, you brought it up first, you go first.” Romin politely insisted back.

   “Okay, thank you, Romin,” Ranze replied, “I just wanted to thank you for all the advice that you gave me yesterday. I wrote so much last night using it, just haiku after haiku, I couldn’t stop and oh! It was just so much fun, as well, even the poems that I would have torn up before or berated myself for disappointing my own standards, I was able to enjoy them too, all thanks to you.”

   Romin’s eyes went wide and her face went red as she turned modest. She shifted her weight on the back of her heel. All whilst she toyed with a curl of her hair by her face, coiling it and uncoiling it on her index finger, trying to shrug off Ranze’s earnest gratitude yet betraying herself because it was obvious that she was enjoying the praise tremendously. Fortunately, Romin managed to gather her thoughts after such a barrage of thankfulness, she cleared her throat and then spoke.

   “I’m the same.” she admitted. “When I got home, I couldn’t stop writing. I really loved your vibe and your style so, um, I wrote some lyrics and hounded Roa into helping with the chords. Then, voila. We’re gonna debut a brand new RoaRomin song at the assembly this afternoon.”

   Now it was Ranze’s turn to be flustered. She felt her back straighten involuntarily as her cheeks flushed. She placed her hands behind her back and almost wanted to bow towards Romin’s gratitude for her reciprocity of their combined creative passions. 

   Ranze couldn’t wait at all until this afternoon and as such was more than eager to help the band set up on the stage in the school gymnasium. They appreciated her expertise in being a stagehand, getting them ready quicker than some of the professional adults who had lended a hand at some of their concerts, truth be told. And as such, for her helpfulness, Ranze was rewarded with a front row seat and she sat there with eyes sparkling through all the announcements and boring fuddy-duddy teachers who talked like muppets. She was all but leaning out and over her knees, hands clasped together rapturously, when Gakuto was finally able to welcome RoaRomin onto the stage as the assembly’s closing act. 

   “This song goes out to a very special girl in the crowd,” Romin said, teasing, and she gave a wink, a wink all for Ranze, looking right at her, as she grabbed the microphone, “she was the inspiration for this next song which is an unreleased demo that we’re sound-testing here this afternoon. Thank you, thank you very much.”

   Ranze felt her heart leap and bound in her chest, all but breaking out and through her chest. Her glasses all but fell off her face, askew, as the music blasted from the speakers whilst Romin and company jammed on their instruments. Ranze listened closely and dearly as the song began. It sounded nothing like she would have thought her words would sound like spoken or sung and put to the test of a guitar. The rhythm was completely off-kilter with the beat of her drum and she adored it. 

   It was a song about a flower - or perhaps a girl, with a maidenly spirit - who longed to bloom in moonlight in rebellion of the sun. Taking pride in the shadows and the invisible and unfurling its petals under a vernal moon in the equinox, relishing the victory over natural cycle and being loved back by the moon who, too, wants to see flowers. Not just their bulbs, but their faces and the moonlight, for the flower which bloomed in the middle of the night, nothing less than a gallant kiss.

   Though it was Roa’s voice, it was undoubtedly Romin who was serenading her. They were her words as retold by Romin, recreating them into something new and vivacious, and Ranze etched each one in the page of her very own heart. This was a love letter to her poetry. A very rock and roll love letter but a love letter, nevertheless. One that she wanted to return to sender with her own, more traditionalist flair and suspected she was going to have a lot of fun filling up a diary, that black and white stripy one she began yesterday, dedicated to Romin.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

this took waaay longer than expected omg-

pff- okay but i had to search for my tablet and it had everything but 2020, except for february- i did find a lot for january, but all of them are spoilers for stories, or just really bad doodles so there’s that

i used to draw on one layer on paint 3D because i was used to it, and i still don’t know why i haven’t realized how limited it was??? like besides having no layers, and few brushes, it had no pen pressure either- i swear i still don’t know how i did full illustrations with sketches and zero layers either-

but it had a way to record your drawings and i still have some of those recordings, but that’s for another time ;)

for march and april, it was my first drawings on tablet, and boi do they look bad-

except chara’s pose, i mean, the neck,,,looks,,wow- great eXEpt ThE Shading and lightning they do suck

the only excuse i have is that there is literally no brushes, i mean really, i only had the blur effect and motion blur to help me but except that nothing

from may to july was pretty bad ngl. i have nothing to say except that i got medibang on may, so there’s that. (i can’t believe i thought my anatomy was good back then hahahHA-)

the rest is good. i personally feel like i haven’t really improved much there except the use of modes and lightning/shading.

now that the “art analysis” is done, i want to thank some people for just making this year livable and much better. so first of all:

@zu-is-here​ i feel like if i didn’t go to your blog in april, i just would’ve spent the whole year in a pretty bad state- illness and stress don’t really go well together x) and i forgot to mention, but it was because of you that i got medibang and firealpaca in the first place! i feel like i vastly improved because of that- using different programs and all made me realize a lot of stuff and i can’t be grateful enough. your blog was the best thing that could’ve happened to me<3

@help-im-a-gay-fish​ okay but half of my wips and headcanons came directly from YOUR influence- like- you’re so creative it hurts (not in a bad way ofc) 

your art and writings are always such a delight to see and i can’t help but feel so happy that you paid attention the little writings i made on zu’s blog either- (i forgot to thank zu for that too but gosh i can’t be grateful enough for her) ♥

@jann-the-bean​ i have to admit, i was waaay to shy to interact with you- because i just lOVED your writings! you were a pretty big influence too! i really though you were too cool to like my messy stuff but aaah- i can’t express how happy i was that you liked my art/writings/headcanons and i still am a bit shy to really talk but just know that i love your content <3

@amemi-i​ you are such a nice person- really, i can’t really express everything with words but i’m so glad i got to know you, even for a bit! your art is amazing, just as you, and i’m very glad i have someone to talk to from time to time ♥

@bluepalleteuniverse​ you’re so cheerful i actually thought you were a kid at first xD no but okay you’re a really amazing person and i always loved your interactions with people! et puis ça fais du bien de savoir que quelqu'un d’autre peut comprendre mes charabia en français x) you and your art are very lovely ♥

@dragon-tamer-1​ you’re a very nice and supportive person! (to tell you the truth, i would’ve probably stayed anon for muuuch longer if you didn’t mention that you’d follow me in an instant if i were to reveal myself, and few people later on stated the same thing, and because i thought it was worth a shot, i wanted to make a gift for people i liked, and that’s how i started the project, because it’s way better than just revealing myself right x)) so thank u for being a very nice mutual ♥

@fio-violet​ your art genuinely amazes me- it’s got something so special in it that makes me LOVE it to such a degree- please know that i absolutely adore it <3

@rikablue27​ i just needed to say that your art is SO so amazing and i was really surprised people didn’t pay attention to it- but i can say i really admire your way of drawing people and your shading/lightning! your perspective is also very neat and i can’t wait to see more of your art ♥

@ihavekarma3-blog​ it’s literally the same thing for you and rika, you’re a very talented person and i only wish you the best for the other projects

@ask-undermine​ your daily positivity and your constant support always make me very happy and i just wanted to thank u for that ♥

@kotikaleo​ your style is literally the cutest thing i’ve seen and i’m really amazed by every work you manage to make! you deserve every kind of support and i really can’t help but be inspired by your works <3

@amarald​ like- i know for a fact you’re an amazing artist and a really nice friend, but you’re also a very sweet person to interact with! your asks always make me so happy and i’m really glad i got to meet you ♥

i just listed everyone from the top of my head but there’s still so many more people i am thankful for, like YOU! everyone who sees this: i’m so glad you’re still here and enjoying people’s content and i wish you a very happy day/night and good year <3

[luninosity]

Catching up on some @evanstanweek prompts (last week got busy!) - somewhat belated, but still fun!

Here’s day 5: alternate universe. Which my brain decided was...a space AU? With diplomat!Chris and courier ship captain!Seb?

Read at AO3 here (1,834 words, no warnings, adorable attraction and hand-touches) or read here on tumblr below!

#

Stars streak and flow and swirl along the swiftspace tunnel. They spin and flare and flood color through the viewing windows: white, red, golden, blue, against the dark joyous infinity of space. Chris Evans, as a Federated Planets diplomat and ambassador, has seen a lot of stars and a lot of space. The sheer delight of it all kicks him in the heart every time.

 He gets to be here. On adventures. Flying through darkness and light and beauty. Visiting new worlds, helping people solve problems.

 He wanders across the small upper observation lounge, weary and entranced.

 The courier ship’s sleek and graceful, a silver-grey water-bird with the jeweled light of the universe pooling along her skin. From this angle Chris can see her side, the line of her hull, as well; the view’s maybe not as entirely unrestricted as it would be from the larger more forward deck below, but he likes the connection right here.

 He gazes at the stars, and lets himself relax a fraction: sleeves shoved up, collar undone, hands in his pockets. Negotiations at his back. Peace achieved. Success.

 Maybe he grins at the stars, and maybe they grin back, but that’s okay: nobody else is here to witness their casual shared relief and giddiness. It’s relatively late—the middle of the night, according to ship’s time, anyway—and the observation lounge is quiet, up here.

 Except that’s not true. Because there’s a tiny chirp, pleasant and musical—and it’s not Chris’s communicator—

 He turns. The person who’d been settled into the large corner chair—not facing the door—bolts up hastily and silences the notification and says, “Apologies, Ambassador—” and Chris realizes all at once, a supernova to the gut, that that’s not just any person.

 That’s Sebastian Stan, or more accurately Captain Sebastian Stan.

 In command of this beautiful graceful Federated Planets courier ship. Here to ferry Chris back to the capital planet after negotiations. And so damn beautiful himself that Chris, experienced diplomat that he is, had forgotten how to talk for a good five seconds upon first meeting.

 Captain Stan’s got fluffy dark hair and bright eyes the color of morning mist over the geothermal lakes of Skystone. He’s nearly Chris’s height and nearly Chris’s age, human like Chris but raised on the colony world of Apa Sâmbetei; he’s young for a captain, though not so young that it’s wildly extraordinary, and he’s disarmingly sweet and enthusiastic and passionate in a heartfelt way, someone who talks about his ship and flying the stars as if he’ll never get tired of new missions and explorations, whether that’s as big as discovering a new nebula or as small as bringing a single diplomat back home for debriefing.

 And Chris had fallen head over heels—hopelessly, ridiculously, he knows—the second Captain Stan had run down the ramp at the spaceport and said, “Welcome aboard, Ambassador!” with cheerful disregard for formal impersonal protocol but equally cheerful enthusiasm about inviting Chris on board his ship for the next week.

 Chris’s heart’s always loved people who love the world. And Sebastian Stan so clearly does. So glorious, so vibrant.

 Two days in, they haven’t spoken much. That first brief welcome. Dinner at the captain’s table yesterday, which is in fact the only table, because Sebastian’s crew only numbers seven and they’re all friends. A quick encounter outside the rec-holo room that morning, Chris having asked if he could reserve some workout time and Captain Stan apparently just leaving, having been doing…something…in a clinging dark blue gym shirt and grey sweatpants, just before. He’d been flushed and sweat-damp and glowing; he’d obviously not been expecting Chris to show up ten minutes early. Chris had blurted out, “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t interrupting—I thought it’d take longer to get here—” and then had wanted to bite off his own tongue for implying Sebastian’s ship was too small or too simple or whatever the hell he’d just managed to babble.

 “No, it’s fine, it’s all yours!” Sebastian’d said instantly. “I’m—I mean, we’re—I mean the Calliope’s at your disposal, Ambassador, of course—” He’d vanished into the lift Chris’d just exited, at that.

 Right now Sebastian looks on the verge of vanishing again: swinging boots to the deck’s carpet, picking up his communicator and tablet, plainly on the brink of getting up. “I didn’t mean to disturb you—”

 Chris says, “You were here first!” and holds up a hand, though he’s not even sure what the gesture’s supposed to mean. Stay? Wait? I’ll go? I’m sorry for barging in on your observation deck time? “And it’s your ship—I’ll just go, I just couldn’t sleep—”

 Sebastian’s smile’s sudden and complicated: wry, understanding, gently concerned. He gets up, but tosses communicator and tablet back down onto his chair: not leaving, then. When he comes to stand at Chris’s side, his eyes are very soft and warm, clear smoky shimmery grey-blue opals.

 He’s still mostly in uniform, though he’s unzipped the jacket and also pushed up both sleeves, and the navy-blue top and tight black undershirt and silver trim all frame his face and throat and body like an antique portrait-decoration. “That moment after a mission. And before the next one.”

 “Yeah.” Chris exhales, tries to remember to gaze at stars and not Captain Stan. “Like jumping off the wind-cliffs on Selene. Like sky-diving, in free-fall, knowing you’ve done everything right, you should land fine, but that minute right before you come down safe and sound, but there’s nothing left you can do now…But, look, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I didn’t know anyone’d be here—”

 “You aren’t interrupting.” Sebastian shrugs, one-shouldered; glances out at the view. “I love this spot too. I always have. And I love the stars in motion. We’re going somewhere, doing something. On our way to help someone. The way you just did.”

 “I didn’t do all that much.” But he kind of likes the compliment, the glow it sparks in his bones. “Part of a whole delegation. We just got the factions in a room, got them to talk. They did the rest.”

 “But you did that,” Sebastian points out. “You gave them the space, the encouragement, the opening to speak and to listen. What you did…that’ll help end the war on Tacitara, and that’ll make life better for all their people. That’s important.”

 “Yeah,” Chris says. “I mean…yeah. I know. It is important. I just…”

 “You want to do more,” Sebastian says. “You want to help even more. More people, more worlds. Get them all to talk to each other.”

 “Well…yeah.” And those words, Sebastian’s words, disarm him. How can someone he’s barely met know him, see him, so well? From a moment alone with the stars, with the night?

 Sebastian’s smile quirks. “And you’re here. For a whole week. Stuck in transit, with nothing to do.”

 “I don’t mean it like that,” Chris protests.

 “I know.” Sebastian, looking Chris’s way, is outlined by star-streaks. They shine topaz and violet and sapphire in his hair, along his left cheekbone. “I get it.”

 A flash of memory surfaces; the Calliope, Chris recalls, had been one of the smaller ships bringing medical aid, and assisting in desperate evacuations, after the horrific planetary eruptions on Cronus. He hadn’t known her captain’s name at the time, or if he had he hadn’t remembered.

 Sebastian would’ve been several years younger then, maybe right out of the Flight Academy. Maybe even a first assignment.

 Those lapidary grey-blue eyes’ve seen a lot, behind sparkling youthful glee about space and courier missions. Probably as much, if not more, than Chris has in Federation negotiations.

 He says, “I know you do,” and he means it. “Thanks.”

 Sebastian now looks surprised. “For what?”

 “Um…talking to me?”

 “You said you couldn’t sleep.” Sebastian gives him a small head-tip: familiarity. “I get that sometimes too.”

 Chris winces again. “I really didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

 “You didn’t, I said.” Sebastian sighs. “Trying to write. Not that it’s working. I’m glad I was here, though. If you wanted someone to talk to.”

 “I’m glad you were here too.” He means that, also. “Writing?”

 “Ah.” Sebastian makes a face: half-abashed, half-amused at his own letting that out, self-deprecating but not exactly shy. “Not anything really…I mean, maybe someday…I just like telling stories, sort of…places I’ve been, people I’ve met, kind of fictionalized, kind of travel writing…sort of memoir…I’ve published a couple pieces, on the holonet…nothing big, though, just in my spare time…”

 Chris narrows his eyes at this dismissal. He’s a decent diplomat; he can tell when someone’s kicking sand over the truth. “Anything I’d know?”

 Sebastian laughs. “Not unless you read The Next Horizon’s creative contributor’s section on a dedicated basis.”

 “Yeah, the thing is,” Chris says, “literally billions of people on billions of planets read some version of The Next Horizon, that’s pretty much the biggest place you can contribute something, if you’re at all into literature and arts and writing,” and stares at Sebastian very hard.

 “It’s only three short pieces so far—”

 “Three?!”

 Sebastian’s cheeks get pink under the rainbow wash of swiftspace star-field color; he does a small head-duck and nose-scrunch and says, “Sorry?” as if that’s something to feel guilty about, and eyes the Calliope’s hull out the viewport like he’s longing for a spontaneous spacewalk.

 “Fuck,” Chris says, wholeheartedly impressed. “I mean…fuck. Wow.”

 Sebastian gets over embarrassment enough to laugh. “Nice diplomatic language, Ambassador.”

 “Chris,” Chris corrects. “Please.”

 And Sebastian’s eyes get even happier, even more luminous and shining. “Then it’s Sebastian. Definitely.”

 “Sebastian.”

 That earns a tiny lip-lick, a shift of weight: suddenly the room and the stars and Chris’s skin prickle with awareness. Sebastian’s looking at him, at the sound of his own name on Chris’s lips; Chris has found him beautiful already, but abruptly it’s real and sharp and thrumming like a plucked wire: Chris and Sebastian, together under space-light.

 “Chris,” Sebastian says.

 “Yeah?” Chris shifts weight as well. Closer to him. Enough to reach out and touch. And neither of them draws away.

 “I’m glad it was us,” Sebastian says. “Me. The closest available courier. For you.” His fingertips are near enough to brush Chris’s, in the next heartbeat.

 Chris turns his hand. Lets the touch happen: lets his skin drink in the feel of Sebastian’s fingers, the way they’re warm and curious and unafraid, moving to meet his.

 He thinks about starlight, and the week’s journey to Earth, and time to get to know Sebastian more, time to talk about words and stories and saving people. He thinks about debriefings, and some accumulated shore leave after that, before a next assignment.

 He wonders whether Sebastian’s got any stored-up leave also; he wonders whether Sebastian likes the ocean, or wind-cliffs, or quiet retreats in a snowy cabin with space to write and some cozy hand-made non-replicator hot chocolate, the way Chris’s mother taught him. He wants to find out.

 He says, under rushing flowing galactic kaleidoscope glow, with Sebastian’s fingers twining themselves into his, “I’m glad it was you, too.”

[colorfullfalls]

Me & You- part 2

Summary: Harry and Y/N have been dating for a few months when Michael invites them over for a small dinner party.

Chocolate cake, double decker, vanilla frosting with the words “Let’s be fucking happy” on top sat upon the large marble counter. Old friends leaned around it discussing memories and ideas, laughing often and smiling even more.

Shoes messily scattered Michael’s walk in room where his guests hastily discarded them- caring more about hugs than shoe placement. Coats were thrown over the bench beside the door, the top two close to toppling over on the floor. Michael and Crystal didn’t mind at the hint of a mess. In fact no one even really noticed, besides Y/N.

She bent over at the hip as she grabbed matching pairs of shoes and lined them up together neatly on the soft black rug. She hummed in satisfaction when the last pair was set in place. Her eyes caught sight of the coats and she moved to fix those into place too.

Truth was, she didn’t give a damn about the messiness of Mike’s house. Well she did, but that wasn’t what her issue was. Calum brought Maya to this stupid get together and she didn’t want to be around them just yet.

Over the months Calum and Y/N got back into the groove they experienced most of their lives, but this time without the romantic agony of pinning after the other helplessly at opposite intervals. The pair was good, but Y/N still didn’t really know Maya. Truth was she was too embarrassed after how Maya first saw her talk to Calum. That was the first impression and it was a rotten one.

Maya seemed nice and of course there wasn’t bad blood, but Y/N still felt like an outsider as she moved to organize the coats better. Maya and Calum came to these dinner parties in the months that Y/N was leaning on Harry for support.

The boys still invited Y/N to get together the whole time but she took the time away that she felt she needed to properly move on. And she loved the boys but the time away allowed her to heal and create a wonderful bond with Harry.

“Having fun down there?”

Y/N sheepishly set the coats down and craned her head upwards to look at the person standing above her.

Luke.

Y/N awkwardly laughed, letting go of the coats and letting her hands fall lamely into her lap. She was caught trying to distance herself from the group.

“Y/N, why are you in here organizing our belongings when you could be in the kitchen having wine and a good ole time?” He joked, blue eyes offering true friendship, consideration, and kindness.

Luke was always so freaking kind, just a really good friend all around.

“I don’t fit in anymore.” She mumbled in embarrassment, “I feel like... I don’t know, I was away for so long that I lost my spot.”

Luke sighed as he struggled to navigate his lanky body to sit with his knees up to his chest on the floor across from her. His back rested against the wall comfortably.

“Y/N, you’re our sister: we love you and you’ll always be one of us.. are we doing something particular to make you feel like this?”

Y/N shrugged, playing with the fray string on her favorite black and gray sweater. A sweater that Harry bought her the other day when she said she needed one. She kept slipping money in his wallet for it but he always caught her and demanded she take it back. Truth was, Harry spoiled her rotten.

“Not specifically. It’s not even your fault. I just feel like you guys have a groove now and I’m messing it up. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly at all.” Luke’s hand grasped onto her knee and gave a comforting squeeze, “I’m glad you came tonight. We’re glad.”

Y/N smiled, nodding her head. “Okay.”

“Let’s go back into the kitchen.” He helped her stand and together they walked back to the kitchen.

Michael was laughing as he leaned over the counter, Crystal was rubbing his back lovingly as she giggled along with him. Calum was sitting on a barstool with Maya leaning against his left side, her arm wrapped around his neck, playing with the little tuffs of hair. Ashton and Kaykay were painting digging around in the fridge. Sierra turned when she heard the pair walk in and a charming smile graced her lips.

“There you are.” Sierra said, announcing the new entry into the kitchen.

Y/N blushed as she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall across from the counter, “I was organizing the shoes...”

Luke laughed, “Yeah she was, and the coats. Little nerd.” He pushed her and she fell into the wall. She smiled slightly as she pushed away his hands.

“We thought maybe Harry finally showed up.” Ashton said, turning from the fridge with a can of Pepsi in his hands. Kaykay grabbed the can from him and opened it, taking a sip and grinning.

“Nope, he should be here soon though. He was working out a song with Sarah.” Y/N explained, shuffling over to stand between Sierra and Crystal.

Crystal patted Y/N back as she walked over. The girls were really kind and understanding through out her trying to get over Calum. They would always invite her to girls nights and would call her regularly to check in and to distract her from the heart break. And they were her biggest supporters when they discovered that Harry and her were an item.

“Sarahs the drummer, right?” Cal asked, looking right into her eyes.

“Yeah, she’s an amazing drummer. And an even cooler person.”

“She seems so. One time I visited for a show and the guards wouldn’t let me backstage and she recognized me. Took me with her. She’s super nice.” Michael recalled the memory.

“Ha, me at your shows. One time the guard called me a groupie and wouldn’t let me in for the first half of your show until the members of Hey Violet realized I was missing. That was some bullshit.. but going back to Sarah, she’s honestly the best.”

“Oi, you can date her then.”

Harry stood in the doorway, two bottles of wine resting comfortable in his hands. His smug grin made him all the more attractive as he gazed into his girlfriends eyes.

Y/N felt the weight of the world fall off her shoulders as she took him in. He was so fucking beautiful. His jeans and gray hoodie looked casual and so domestic. She wanted to curl into him and explain that he made her feel more herself than when she was with anyone.

“Bout time you showed up with that wine.” Crystal said, moving around everyone to grab the two bottles as Mike grabbed the glasses from the top shelf.

Harry walked behind Y/N and slid his arms over her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead and leaning his chin against her head. Her nose took in the natural smell of Harry, closing her eyes momentarily to let it settle the nerves.

“How’d it go at the studio?” She quietly muttered, leaning slightly against his tattooed arms. The very arms that were almost like home.

“Swell. We got most of the music written, I think you’d love the feel of it. Sarah made sure the rhythm was sturdy and it ties it all together.” He explained, nodding a thank you at Crystal as he bent over Y/N to grab her and him a glass of wine.

“That’s great, Har. I wish you’d let me hear it..” Y/N grabbed the glass and took a sip.

Harry snorted, taking a sip as well, “You will. When it’s finished, dork. Already told ya that.”

“Mi mi mi mi mi” she mocked, elbowing him lightly in the ribs, “all I hear when you talk.”

Maya burst into laughter, wine falling down her chin- hand coming up to cup it from falling on the floor. Calum smiled in confusion as she grabbed her a napkin.

“Y/N, you kill me. Your sass is unmatched.” She said, wiping her mess up. Maya smiled towards her and Y/N felt herself shooting one back.

“Yeah, it’s bloody endearing until it’s aimed at you.” Y/N knew Harry was bluffing because he was in love with everything about her. She knew this because he only told her every day.

“Imagine how we feel.” Ash deadpanned.

“You should feel lucky that you got to know me all of these years, and especially since I put up with your boyish bullshit for years while on tour. A moment of peace never existed.”

Ashton blushed, crossing his arms, “Yeah, yeah. Rub it in some more that you took care of us like a mom.”

“I’d say so. You guys would crawl in my bunk when you were home sick.” Y/N said, finishing her wine in one big gulp, “play with my hair, Y/N. Rub my back, Y/N. Talk about home, please, Y/N/N.”

“Wow, thanks for fucking exposing our manly composures in front of our women!” Michael yelled, throwing someone’s IPhone charger at her.

Harry’s reflexes must’ve kicked in because his hand grasped the thick cord before it could come in contact with his lover’s face. She hummed in appreciation, slipping her hand under his sweater and rubbing her thumb over his arm.

“Babe, we are well aware that you guys are softies. She didn’t expose shit. I’m sure she could if you really wanted her to-“

Before Crystal could finish all the boys were quickly shouting out no. Y/N knew the darkest dirtiest, most horridly embarrassing moments of them and they rather not share those right now.

“What’s with the cake?” Harry asked as he set his wine glass down and moved away from Y/N to get a better look at it. He chuckled in amusement as he read the lettering upon the creamy frosting.

“A lot is happening in our lives, and I figured we could just take a night to celebrate our success, happiness, friendship, and creativity. You’re all beautiful and deep souls that I’m glad to have the pleasure of knowing.” Sierra said, wrapping her arms around one of Luke’s.

Sierra’s words were genuine and Y/N felt emotional. She was dumb to think that she wasn’t loved anymore by her friend group. They were good, loyal people that saw her heart and adored her as she was. Awkward tension between her and Cal for a few months wouldn’t ruin the unconditional bond. She felt guilty for pushing herself back in the first place. It wasn’t fair to the group and especially not Calum and Maya.

Y/N should’ve been honest about her feelings. Calum deserved to have known and instead it blew up in her face. She was attempting to shelter herself but her lack of actions was really what wounded her.

Shit worked in crazy way. First heartbreak and then a euphoric relationship with Harry motherfucking Styles? Y/N knew things worked out in the way it was meant to. And she felt bad that so much time was wasted when she could’ve gotten to still see Calum and created a friendship with Maya.

Y/N’s eyes wandered to Calum’s as cheering of concurrent glee filled the kitchen. His brown eyes held the upmost love as his lips quirked into a small smile. He made a kissy face and she let out a content sigh.

Kissy face was their signal of saying “I love you, you’re my best friend.”

It was created when they first started touring and they were embarrassed to say it in front of the boys. The action was used at the most important times when sometimes the words wouldn’t mean as much as the mere gesture.

Y/N made a kissy face back, feeling her lips tremble a bit from trying not to cry from the emotions of relief and joy flood through her veins.

“Cut this bitch up! I wanna slice. The one on that corner? Fuck yeah. Dibs.” Ash said, poking his finger in it to seal the spoken claim.

Calum laughed, dropping his head into his hand. Y/N playfully rolled her eyes at the duo. Ashton could blink and Calum would find it hilarious. The two men shared a beautiful companionship. Y/N knew that she was calums best friend, but after her was Ashton followed closely by Roy, Luke, and Mike tied.

“Nasty.” Harry teased, “you gonna have some?” He asked the woman trapped again in his loving embrace.

“Yep, are you?”

Harry snorted, “My love, you underestimate me. Fuck, it looks so good, but not as good as you do all the time.”

He grinned when she rolled her eyes, “Shut the fuck up and get your cake.”

A few hours later and the group switched to hangout in the living room. Board games were brought out along with wii games. Harry, Crystal, Luke and Sierra played Mario cart while Maya, Michael, Ash and Kay Kay played Sorry. Y/N and Calum watched in amusement.

Harry cursed at Luke as he got hit with a banana peel, “Fucking hell, Hemings.”

Calum shifted so that he could pull the cigarette pack from his pocket along with his beloved blue lighter. His eyes glanced to the balcony before he nudged the woman beside him.

“Y/N, wanna join me for a smoke?”

She knew what he meant. Not for her to actually smoke, but to talk alone for a few minutes while everyone was busy.

She nodded.

Y/N figured it would be chilly so she grabbed her jacket- well it was Harry’s that she loved to wear. Together they made their way onto the balcony of Michael’s house. She wrapped the material of her boyfriends coat close to her, slipping her hands into the pockets.

“Glad you came?” Cal asked, flicking his lighter three times before the flame stayed. The cigarette caught the light and he brought it to his plump lips.

“Yeah. Feels right to be back with you all... I’m so sorry that I hid from you guys. So fucking childish of me.”

Calum shook his head, “No, no don’t even apologize, bub. None of us blame you. And to be honest it’s partly my fault.”

Y/N scoffed, hands gripping the railing to ground herself, “It’s not.”

They sat in silence, not wanting to upset each other and start a fight that was pointless. Calum flicked ashes over the railing, his other hand not holding his cig was running through his hair.

Y/N crossed her arms, pulling the hood up over her head to cover her ears. Soft material swallowed her whole, providing a safety blanket.

“You and Harry- you just fit. I’ve never seen you act like that anyone. It was obvious that you felt sorta awkward but the second he walked in, you were back to being our Y/N.” Cal spoke, taking a hit.

Y/N shrugged, “I dunno; he’s like my comfort person now. Probably because it was just the two of us for so long. But I’m content with him.” Her eyes drifted to gaze in at the window. His brown curls could slightly be seen from the bulk of the couch.

“You love him?”

Y/N blinked in surprise, “I do love him. He’s...”

Calum chuckled at her lack of words, “Difficult to describe the intense feeling into lousy English words, huh?”

She blushed but meekly nodded, “Something like that. I imagine you know the feeling?”

Calum put out his cigarette and pulled his jacket closer to him, “Yeah. I’m not talking about Maya here though. Well, not yet. Im falling in love with her, but Y/N you’re my absolute favorite person in the world. You’re my family in ever sense of the meaning. Words can’t explain how sorry I am that I didn’t realize how you felt and that I hurt you.”

She stood up and pulled her best friend into a hug. His arms dangled around her torso as she shoved her head into his chest, taking in the familiar smoke smell.

“Maya seems super authentic Cal, and she’s like.. hot.” Y/N paused when she felt his body shake against hers from laughing, “I should’ve talked to you about it instead of getting angry. You deserve to be happy.”

“Promise I’ll be the maid of honor at your wedding?”

Y/N giggled, swaying them side to side as her cold hands went under the shirt of his back to warm them up. He jumped at the touch. She grinned at his reaction because she’s done it to him since they were little kids.

“Only if I’m your best man?”

Cal hummed, “Hell yeah, wouldn’t want anyone else.”

She nodded while elbowing him gently in the side, “good. It’s settled then.”

Y/N heard yelling inside and the two turned to see that Harry was dancing around Michael’s living room. His arms flared around in the air as he moved his body side to side. She knew that dance. It was a victory dance. The same one he would do when she agreed to wake up with him to watch the sunrise or when he would get all of pieces in home while playing sorry before her.

Harry turned around and cheekily smiled at her as he pointed at the tv and then himself and gave a joyful fist pump. She gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up in response.

“We better head back in.” She said, grabbing Calum’s arm and leading him inside.

“Love, I just kicked their asses!” Harry yelled, hitting Michael with a pillow. Harry cackled when Michael quickly plucked the pillow from him and threw it back with more force.

“You’re a goofball.” She said, crossing her arms.

Couple hours later everyone warmly hugged their goodbyes, slipped on coats and hats, and they walked out of Michael Cliffords house towards their own. Harry and Y/N were the last ones due to her being adamant on helping Crystal clean up. Harry and Michael had talked about FIFA as they attempted to help too but were more so in the way. The girls appreciated the gesture though.

Harry kissed Y/N a couple times instead of letting her get in her own car. Her muffled words kept getting shut off by his lips meeting hers.

“It’s almost like we have a house that we could make out in instead of my friend’s driveway, Har.” She said, pushing his face away with her hand like she did the first time he kissed her outside the poetry shop.

“Have to drive there first, hun. Takes too long.” He whined, his hands pulling her closer to his chest as his lips dragged across her neck, “What did Cal have to say on the balcony?”

She snorted as he nosed along her jawline, peppering kisses and moving his leg to rest in between hers. She ran her fingers along his arm until she intertwined her fingers with his.

He was jealous.

Harry would always ask her how it went when she met up with Calum. Y/N wasn’t dumb, Harry was scared that her feelings for her old best friend would randomly punch her in the face. Harry was hurt before and she understood that he was just scared of getting hurt again.

Especially since he has been in love with her since he was freshly eighteen years old.

“Just that he was glad that I came. Heart to heart about being best friends. I promised him he could be in our wedding if I was in his.” She said, halting Harry’s kissed against her skin.

His head snapped up so that his green eyes looked into her, “Our wedding?”

She nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

“If we’re in this for life, I’d figure it would happen sooner or later. I don’t know if I wanna wear a traditional white dress with you in a boring tux. I think our style is too spectacular for that normal shit. You look so good in vibrant colors, Har.” She whispered, squeezing his hand.

He seemed in a daze as he listened, nodding frequently in agreement, “You’d look amazing in anything as long as you’re walking towards me to meet me at the altar.”

“Yeah, you think?”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, I do.”

“I’ll marry you as soon as you show me that damn song. It’s driving me crazy, dude.” She said, pushing him away when he went in for another kiss that would turn into ten.

Harry was a lovey, touchy feely man, but she loved it. She loved him.

“You ruined one of the best moments of my life by calling me dude. Seriously, you’re killing me here. Cruel woman, you are.”

She shrugged, “I have my ways.”

“Go home!” Michael yelled out the window, making them separate quickly. Harry flipped him off before opening Y/N’s door and helping her in.

“I’ll see you at home, wife.”

Y/N cackled when Harry gently shut her door and saw him hurriedly got into his. She knew that tonight would be spent in each other’s arms with how absolutely thrilled he was to hear that she thought about their wedding.

She turned her car on and thanked Mother Nature for working her mysterious ways to make her life fit into place so perfectly.