#(would be happy for both of them if theyre just gay. but i cant prove that)

[lostandbackagain]

working on the briolante/shallow river post I keep threatening to make but every time emilee says "lovely lady, no one's baby" I start crying so hard I throw up

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[velveteencurtains]

evermore first impressions!

willow - GIRL EUEJDNSKJDJEJD LOST IN YOUR CURRENT LIKE A PRICELESS WIINE!!!!! TAKE MY HAND!!! WRECK MY PLANS!!! THATS MY MAN!!!!!! girl this is so fcuking GOOD! gonna be 100% honest the 1 is a better album opening but this is so fucking good you guys. life was a willow and it bent right to your wind!!! ID COME BACK STRONGER THAN A 90’S TREND???? EVERY BAIT AND SWITCH WAS A WORK OF ART??? SHES SICK SHES REALLY SICK I SWEAR. the way she sings “that’s my man!” yes ma’am yes ma’am!!!!!! the parallel between “I knew you stepping on the last train” and then “you know my train could take you home” SHES SICK YOUR HONOR SHES SICK

champagne problems - okay we love a piano opener. i’m so conflicted on what i think this song is gonna be about. MORE TRAIN LYRICS GIRLIE. this really is this is me trying’s older, sadder sister. “our group of friends/don’t think we’ll say that word again” MA’AM??? SHE WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A LOVELY BRIDE SUCH A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEAD??????? IM LOSIJG MY FUCKIJG MIND. taylor and joe wrote this together? we love a couple with shared mental illnesses

gold rush - jack antonoff do not let me down. GIRL THE HARMONIES AT THE VERY BEGINNING JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. okay I can definitely see what they meant by this song being about being lost in a daydream, the juxtaposition between the chorus and the verses is AMAZING. this is just gorgeous’s older sister huh???? “ocean blue eyes/looking in mine/i feel like i might sink and drown and die” and “eyes like sinking/ships on waters/so inviting/i almost jump in”

‘tis the damn season - i can’t tell if i want this song to be christmassy or not. OH SO THIS IS JUST HOLIDATE. TAYLOR JUST WATCHED HOLIDATE AND WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. this is a continuation of tim mcgraw, argue with the wall. NO BC TIM MCGRAW IS ABOUT LIKE A LOVE FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS LIKE COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE AND REUNITING WITH THEM BC YOURE BOTH DEPRESSED AND LONELY

tolerate it - jesus christ i’m not emotionally ready for this. STOP THIS IS THE PRELUDE TO BETTER MAN. LIKE BETTER MAN IS AFTER SHES ALREADY LEFT BUT THIS IS BEFORE WHEN SHES STUCK AND KNOW SHE DESERVES BETTER BUT SHE JUST TAKES IT IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYY. okay but i’m imagining the babe music video and that whole of like the doting housewife who gave up everything for her husband and does everything to make him happy but he just does not appreciate it at all and he doesn’t see how much his indifference hurts her. @taylorswift mv now. honestly? loved that but as a track 5 it’s pretty weak

no body, no crime - I PREDICTED THIS WAS GONNA BE MY TOP SONG ON THE ALBUM LETS SEE IF I’M RIGHT. GIRL THE SIRENS AND “HE DID IT” AS THE FIRST LINES?? THEN THE COUNTRY INSTRUMENTAL??? TAYLOR HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED “MURDERED MY CHEATING HUSBAND” COUNTRY SONG HELL YESSSSSSS. OH THE WIFE IS MISSING???? NOT GONE GIRLLLLLLLLL MISS TAYLOR CHANNELING AMY DUNNE HERE!!!!! OH SHUT UPPPPPP SHES A LESBIAN WITH ESTE’S SISTER AND THEY COVERED UP HIS MURDER AND NOW THEYRE GONNA LESBIAN TOGETHER MISS TAYLOR

happiness - okay miss happiness you’ve got a lot to live up to but let’s do this. NOT THE MIRRORBALL PARALLEL “i was dancing when the music stopped” and “when no one is around, my dear/you’ll find me on my tallest top toes/spinning in my highest heels, love” NOT THE IDEA OF CHANGING YOURSELF JUST TO KEEP SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE IM GONNA SOB taylor please stop this i cant emotionally handle any of this. girl this is the prelude to tolerate it which is the prelude to better man

dorothea - okay so seven’s older sister? so dorothea and whoever this singer is were besties when they were teens and then dorothea moved away and now the singer misses her former best friend and also first love and also they’re lesbians yeah it’s gay it’s so gay. taylor i’m literally begging you from the bottom of my fucking soul please give us a music video with two girls please miss swift i ask of you this one (1) thing

coney island - see i thought this was gonna be seven’s older sister when the tracklist was announced so now idk what to expect! JESUS OKAY I KNOW IT SAYS “feat. The National” IN THE TITLE BUT I FORGOT AND I GOT SCARED BY HIS VOICE. NOT A FUCKIJG CAR ACCIDENT TAYLOR IM REALLY SORRY I RRALIZE YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON AND I NEED TO STOP CONNECTING YOU TO HARRY BUT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. okay anyway here’s my theory hear me out: This is dorothea’s husband who’s confused why his high school sweetheart wife doesn’t love him anymore and why she’s now hanging out with her old high school best friend again damn that’s weird they’re like really super close that’s super odd. anyway that’s just a theory I actually don’t really know what this songs about! miss swift is too smart for me

ivy - stop this song is so sweet!!!!!! i feel like this is getaway car’s sister! i need to stop doing that i know it gets annoying but really honestly it is! NO NO NO THIS IS DOROTHEA’S PERSPECTIVE WHEN SHE HAS AN AFFAIR WITH HER HS BESTIE AND HER HUSBAND STARTS TO FIND OUT GUYS IVE FIGURED IT OUTTTTTTT. WAIT WAIT WAIT THE HS BESTIE IS FROM NO BODY NO CRIME AND DOROTHEA IS ESTE’S SISTER GUYS IVE FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I GOT IT

cowboy like me - let’s yee and let’s haw ladies and gents. WHOS SINGING????? WHOS SINGING WITH HER???? taylor shut up for a second lemme hear who tf this is. AM I CRAZY OR IS THIS JOE???? i’m probably dumb. but am i? why can i not at all remember what joe’s voice sounds like rn. is that joe??? im so confused. maybe i’m super dumb and it’s really obvious and i’m just fucking stupid. it’s probably not joe it’s probably some country legend that everyone else knows bc they grew up yeeing and hawing and i’m but a wee city slicker but i’m gonna hold onto this stupid theory that it’s joe singing with her until someone proves me wrong later. also this song is fucking gorgeous where’s my cowboy hat not wearing one while listening to this song makes me feel sacrelige. okay wait tay and aaron wrote this one is it aaron? i’m sorry taylor i don’t listen to the national you can hate me if you want

long story short - god the production on this slaps!!!!! and the idea of being hurt before and then finding your love and being all about them and not even caring abt what happened before!!!!! god i’m gonna cry i’m gonna cry. NO MORE KEEPING SCORE NOW I JUST KEEP YOU WARM?????? taylor really said “oh you’re not in love and i’m gonna make you feel like SHIT ABOUT IT” taylor pls a petition to let us say “BITCH” after the last line so it’s “i survived...bitch!” okay pls and thank you

marjorie - oh is this about taylor’s grandma :(((( i knew she used her name but this feels like it’s really all about her. babey. this is so sweet. taylor i love you

closure - okay the opening??? slaps! literally! okay the production of this is interesting! okay i’m like trying to figure out who this is about....who cares this is so good. oh my god the distortion??? it just underlines the anger of it all so perfectly and i love

evermore - exile hive let’s GOOOO. please be an exile pt 2 pls be an exile pt 2. so odd to me because, as a whole, this actually feels like a way more happy and optimistic album than folklore did, yet the title comes from the line “i had a feeling so peculiar/that this pain would be for/evermore”. OKAY BON IVERRRRRR. the violence of the dog days? that’s my next instagram caption thanks taylor. NOT A DUET SECTION AGAIN LIKE IN EXILE TAYLOR PLEASE I CANT HANDLE THISSSSSSS. “we always walked a very thin line” AND “is there a line that we could just go cross?” THE PARALELLELLLLRJSNDBBD. I’m gonna die for this I really think. okay so she ends it on this pain wouldn’t last evermore so that’s good

overall? this is a masterpiece. miss swift has done it again. folklore aoty 2021 and evermore aoty 2022. no body, no crime is really THAT BITCH. i need a mv miss swift! okay bye gonna go cry over this

update: after listening all night i feel like i need to point out that i’m stupid and thought este was the mistress and the singer was the wife when in fact ESTE is the wife in no body, no crime. SO addendum to my theory: este and dorothea were besties in hs then dorothea left and got married and so did este but este’s hubby cheated so then este’s friend murders him and she’s cool w it, then dorothea and her husband move back home and este and dorothea reconnect and realize their long hidden feelings for one another, dorothea leaves her husband and she and este run away together

ANOTHER UPDATE: ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON IS FROM DOROTHEA’S POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE COMES HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND SHES SINGING TO ESTE!!!!!! CJNECNSJSNNDN

[kiingbiing]

bro Please show us ur ocs what

gladly

just know that names will change bevause i have too many characters woops (im a bad character maker lol)

i made them children who murder but now i dont know what to do with them, soon i will make a story for them

king and jester raise a baby and fall inlove :]

theyre originally humans but with a potion gone wrong, they end up as animals and now they have to work together to turn themselves back, also the snake works with the law and the mouse is a crook

dnd character, but i never got to play him cause i never played dnd, lol, one day, i will

ethan works at a cafe and got turned into a vampire, carter is a monster hunter and wendy is his assisstant. carter has the hots for ethan and ethan doesnt want to acknolwedge his existence. maggie and callie is ethan’s friend, barry LIKES wendy

the triplets were inspired by moosop ngl, but i do remember making triplets in 5th grade lol

inspired by tarzan, but i changed the story cause i made these characters when i was younger and i cant abandon them. meriam raised talia (i changed her name) when she decided to leave london and live in the jungle. talia barely speaks because her speech isnt good. mark comes to visit his mother and to try and see if the island can be used for good money, mark and talia hate each other for this fact.

made this in 4th grade cause my first lesbian ship was bubbaline and i was like, i dont have enough lesbian ships, gotta make my own then,

no name for them but its set in the philippines, inspired by our monsters :]

a fellow monster has to be in love with their food

fairly odd parents oc, josh and penny got adopted by this rich couple, and everything was fine till they figured out that they only got adopted because the parents would get more money from their parents if the wanted kids, this warrented a god parent and francis is here. francis HATES children and is onyl doing this because its good money. penny is too energetic, josh is the quiet kid and francis hates kids, but he can handle one, hes not gonna be able to handle 2

theres 2 stories for this, bt judas and merith were in an arranged marriage and percy became merith’s crying buddy when judas is mean, they can be in a threesome, still dont know. still have to upadte this story

dominic goes savage during the full moon and his sister is the only one who knows this secret. the two rodents have a thing for dominic

these were just random ocs with no actual plot line, dino and cloudy are buddies and they go everywhere together

the colony of ants have a thing for the ant eater, not the tables have turned lol

dad is forced to raise a baby and he cant cause hes sad depressed, and he just doesnt know what to do but he can abandon her. jerry is like, buddy, BUDDY, if u let me crash, i can help out, hes helpful, 

used to be an adventure time oc but i scrapped it, 

princess aya runs away from the royal family to find her missing sister cause she doesnt want to be queen 

she meets with red, a thief who dabbles with magic, which is illegal, 

due to unfortunate events, red helps aya find her sister

animal crossing ocs. kenny and lola are dating :]

one and two are childhood friends? one was mean and two got depressed, but now one is trying to make up for it

kylan is failing his class, so richard has to tutor him to make sure hes on the right track, kylan just doesnt want to do anything with him, and when he realises that richard has a hard time making friends, he makes it his task to help him make a friend, in return, richard has to leave him alone

just two teenagers coming to terms about their feelings for each other.

braden never gave romance a thought until he reached middle school. he started to crush on george hard and he doesnt know how to handle this and he tries to deny it.

george is straight and is just vibing, and he thought things were fine until braden confessed his feelings.

braden is demisexual (im demi, hes very special to me)

this ones old, (also i made another oc thats named carter WOOPS)

no name (teddy) got kicked out from home when his mom figured out hes gay, and carter is a rich art student that needs a model and he ask teddy to become his model. carter pays teddy a good sum of money, (i need to work on this story woops)’

melissa is a rich blind girl and shes not allowed to party and go outside if she doesnt hire a body guard (thanks dad), she hired danny, an ex underground boxer to help her around the city. 

in this world, magic welders are getting killed because only officials are allowed to use magic. momma summons demote, a demon, with a deal that he keeps her daughter safe. demote and harper hate each other and they have to tolerate each other in order to get away from the hunters. dewey is a forest entity that latched onto harper

my little pony oc 

madison loves flowers, she tends flowers and honestly? flowers only.

valentine is a match maker and she stumbles upon madison, and her match making skills dont work on madison, just ponies being ponies :]

characters made with my friends but i lost contact with them and one day, ill work on their stories

david is in his first public school and he meets molly and he doesnt vibe with her cause she doesnt talk to him and it didnt settle with him right, so he bullies her, and when he figures out that shes deaf and maliciously bullied her, hes just, not happy and tries to make it up to her, and shes not having it

life and death, my friend wanted me to make a comic bout life and death,

just ur standard life and death ship

used to be an adventure time oc but i changed it

andrew grew up in a religious household with strict parents, making him study. hes not allowed to be with friends

margee is raised by her uncle because her dad died in a car accident,

dally has a strained relationship with his dad, his dad being an alcoholic and not taking care of his health

they were all childhood friends and then they got seperated, when they got older, they all saw each other and got together for support

(ok imm a fool and i try to make a webcomic but i keep not not finishing it so, woops)

bunny ocs when i was younger, i need to work on their stories, sorry, no other info except they want to beat each other lol

cupid accidentally shots an arrown at ching and now they fell inlove with mar, and mar just wants to vibe and be ignored but with ching contantly trying to woo mar, cupid thinks thats enough and tried to help mar because that wasnt suppposed to happen lol

girl realises that the monsters under her bed and in her closet are real and tries to get her mother to help her.

her mother abuses her and the girl is just scared and she doesnt know what to do

(im getting lazy)

baintly wants to be a good wizard but she sucks at everything

butters(the broom) is accidentally made when she tried to summon her animal

she was about to get kicked out of school but out of sepretation, she promised her school that she’ll go get a gem from a feared dragon in order to prove her place in the school

she got lonely and got a pet bunny and fox

terry accidentally summoned perry and she doesnt know how to handle a demon in her room, ralph is terry’s friend

set in space and theyre all animals

the top are a bunch of criminals and the bottoms arer in the police forces

and they both have to work toegether to get rid of a dangerious villian set to destroy the galaxy

ok so i lost their names but basically, big demon goes to the human world and befriends a child. other demon is the right hand and he follows his master and hes just a ball anxiety. the older sister is a monster hunter and she tries to kill the big demon living in her house

[gaydinobots]

swooplock!!!

THANK U im gonna just. do every category because i havent talked abt them in a hot minute so obviously! its time to go ham

under a read more because wow. wow this is so long. im so sorry 

their first impressions 👁swoop thinks grim is pretty hot but to be fair. thats a fact. i think he respects grim just because grimlock is like. strong. he would want to know him more he feels like theyd vibe. grimlock thinks swoop seems fun, no special feeling or anything. hes drawn to him a lil but not because of looks (if anything hed find swoop more cute in a weird, ‘this persons objectively not attractive but i cant stop noticing them’ kind of way) . basically they like each others vibes 

their first date 🕯i think i made a joke tweet a long time ago that theyd probably have a date in a junkyard or something as their first date BUT tbh. i think they probably did go to like…a bar for their first date!! swoop drinks more than he can handle to impress grimlock and even tho grim tells him to lay off he thinks its cute hes trying so hard (grimlock pays for Everything) 

their first kiss 💋THINKING ABT THIS MAKES ME EMBARRASSED OH MY GOD………..ok swoop initiates the kiss impulsively, it probably happened on one of their first dates, and he didnt think much of it. grimlock thought abt it a lot longer than he expected to (it all worked out in the end)  

an inside joke they share 🃏they make fun of slug getting mistaken for a heterosexual by every lesbian he knows…………i think swoop would probably bring up anything dumb grimlock has said too but u see grimlock loves him so he just laughs it off 

a recurring fight they get into ⛈they dont rly fight fight because max dinos 3 proves swoop can only stay mad at grimlock for all of 5 whole minutes. i think they fight over grimlock getting too overprotective when they were starting out but theyve been together long enough to like. be more mature abt handling it!! 

their love languages 💞i think grimlocks highest one would be touch!! idk why im attached to affectionate touchy grim but i feel like he just likes to hold his partners….whether its straight up cuddling or just a casual hand slung over a shoulder. swoop is more of a quality time kind of guy!! i dont think they rly do gift giving often BUT theyre do a lot of nice stuff for each other instead. grimlock also rly isnt into like. verbal affection as much as swoop is. swoop is verbal abt his affection but isnt big on being complimented himself. 

how they feel about pda 🌹swoop LOVES pda because hes dramatic and likes to show off sometimes. he needs everyone to know he loves his wonderful bf and show him off!! grimlock isnt so big on the public part but he indulges swoop anyway + he likes being affectionate - its a win/win for him either way

their favorite things about one another ⭐️grimlock clearly has a type for airheads hgkdsf but for real i think he does love how cheerful and upbeat swoop is!! he likes how impulsive swoop can be too because it means he cant predict what he’ll do next….so he’ll find something new to love when he doesnt expect it 😳 (maybe im being a bit mushy here. whos going to stop me? no one thats what) i dont think swoop ever rly put thought into his favourite trait of grimlock or hed just give a superficial answer about it. but his favourite part about grimlock is his more compassionate side + i think he also likes how grim doesnt. particularly care what other people think of him! he thinks grimlock can be rly sweet and is maybe a little proud of the fact hes one of the few ppl that actually get the Whole Grim Experience 

how they would adapt for one another 🍂swoop has to slow down a lil bit for grimlock! he’s naturally high energy which can be overwhelming for grim, so when swoop realises this he starts to make sure that grim can keep up w/ him. he also does try to take things more seriously cause i feel like hed view his whole thing w/ grim as being casual up until a certain point. grimlock on the other hand definitely tries to be more attentive to swoop. grim is naturally just. not rly receptive to people but when he decides someone is worth the effort he goes ALL IN. hes not the best listener or anything but he does try his best to be interested! even if its for little things.

their favorite celebrations 🎃dinobots collective anniversary because they all decided to just lump up their anniversaries into one nice day + slash’s birthday !!!!!!! i think swoop would also like. get jokingly into knowing different species celebration days but he doesnt rly care much for the meanings

their domestic rituals 💆what intricate rituals do they do………………………i mean they WERE separated for most of post war so they dont rly have much material to go off of. i guess fighting is a good bonding activity w/ ur partner so you end up resting together at night………they definitely cuddle Quite A Bit, swoop and grim also allocate a specific amt of time to swoop gossiping abt something or laughing at other people…im bad at this part OOP 

their family and friends’ opinion ⚖️in an ideal world the dinobots (minus lesbian icon strafe and their daughter slash) r all dating each other in one big polyamorous marriage anyway….the scavengers are very happy that grim’s happy even if krok keeps asking them to stop making out on top of his fridge when he wants engex. misfire keeps planning really weird elaborate date plans which both appreciate even if grim isnt rly sold on shoot shoot bang bang as a date night concept. i keep thinking of a dumb au where the other dynos live and slug is kind mmm because he and swoop are dating and he thinks therell be drama but the spoiler here is that they all have 2 hands so swoopsluglock ends up being the REAL endgame 

their shared living space 🏡the dynos barely have a house half the time in idw oop. i like the idea of them all somehow finding…dinobot island. gay dino paradise if u will. perfect honeymoon destination complete with very nicely heated mud pits 

[mercenarypark]

tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"]  but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding 

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

[shibascarf]

I FOUND SOME FLUFF FOR YOU GUYS

Dug this out of my old chatlogs with @egoldtist​

i think they and i both did a tiny bit of drawings for this one too

here is 50′s au:

sofa: its just the jli as a weird vaguely incompetent 50s biker gang who try to cause A Ruckus but more often than not they just band together to drive out neighborhood threats

sofa: in any period au ted totally kind of hits on booster as a joke, to like tease him, and boosters like haha yeah right funny

sofa : until the dawning realization takes him

shibe : i love that like.... paradoxically.... the more open and queer-friendly a time period is, the more closeted ted is for some reason

shibe: hahahhaha

sofa : yeah omg

shibe : like, the more likely his flirting jokiness is to be taken seriously, the more cautious he becomes

shibe : i feel like if gayness had a death penalty, ted would be running around playing gay chicken like HA HA

sofa : HONESTLY

shibe : what a strange chubby man

sofa : true but i love him

shibe : i'm just imagining biker ted's bike

shibe : which he clearly calls the bug

sofa : oh absolutely

sofa : he probably builds in a side car later

shibe : ahhhhhhh

sofa : because as is soon very apparent, booster should be no where near bikes

shibe : the sidecar is dubbed "skeets"

shibe : because its squeaks

sofa : YES

shibe : booster trying to look intimidating in that sidecare tho

shibe : big goggles and all

shibe : they pull up alongside a convertible and booster has to look UP to stare the driver down

sofa : hes pretty sour about it

shibe : he looks great when they're in the pool hall. he's got a nice leather jacket. he's tall. he's' buff

shibe : but then you follow him out to the parking lot and he hops into that sidecar

sofa : its all over

sofa : he tries to do something to prove hes intimidating which is mostly ted driving around while booster smashes what he can from his sidecar

shibe : with a crowbar

sofa : they knock an old lady's mailbox over but she catches them and theyre like OH SHIT

shibe : DRIVE TED DRIVE

sofa : she catches them and in order to avoid prison time they get stuck using up their whole afternoon fixing it for her

shibe : but they do genuinely feel pretty bad

sofa : true

sofa : they repaint it and everything

sofa : it looks pretty bad but they tried

shibe : bea and tora ride by to just... watch and shake their heads

sofa : honestly

sofa : even guy gets in on it

sofa : just to make fun of them

shibe : guy's the asshole that drives through a mud puddle nearby to get it all over them

sofa : guy better be careful that old lady'll get him too

shibe : are you kidding, he petsits her cats every summer

shibe : (no one knows)

sofa : no one can EVER know

shibe : i'm sure they all go to the ice cream parlor and dance at sock hops

sofa : oh man absolutely

sofa : only about 3 of them can actually dance everyone else is pretty bad

shibe : ted's an amazing dancer for sure

sofa : booster can probably lift up whoever hes dancing with

sofa : ohhh yes absolutely

shibe : BOOSTER AND TED DOING THE JITTERBUG

sofa : YES

shibe : booster being like man, ted, you ever get jealous that the chicks get to wear those poofy petticoats and poodle skirts?

shibe : ted's like whatt

shibe : "ahahhaha  no nothing never mind"

sofa : yessss omfg

shibe : he totally has never been caught wearing michelle's when no one's home

shibe : it's not even a sexual thing, he just loves skirts and dresses

sofa : absolutely

sofa : they just look so GOOD its not FAIR

shibe : they're so SWISHY and POOFY and fun

sofa : theyre probably not as hot either

shibe : than leather? hahahhahah for sure

sofa : ted probably thinks about what he said later like

sofa : its not like he'd look BAD in them- ok wait nO

shibe : buys booster a jacket with a poodle on the back of it

shibe : like here

sofa : BOOSTER LOVES IT

sofa : he looks so happy about it

shibe : BEA COME LOOK AT MY JACKET

sofa : even though he cant wear it out much

shibe : tora tora toraaaaaaaaaaa look at this jacket

sofa : ted got it for me

sofa : teds the BEST

shibe : "why does it have a poodle on it booster"

[8 shibe : it's.... an inside joke

sofa : its between us...... 'friends'

shibe : "by 'friends' do you mean guys that make out in the boys bathroom and smoke together during homeroom"

shibe : BEA

sofa : THATS IT BEA

sofa : teds like "what cant two guys just pal around and kiss each other... for laughs.... come on"

shibe : "it's practice bea"

shibe : "we're practicing for junior prom. i'm gonna ask michelle out"

shibe : "NO UR NOT."

shibe : don't you even LOOK at my sister u creep

sofa : that's how ted realizes hes really, really actually gay

sofa : hes like kissing girls compared to kissing booster is not.. its not as good

sofa : fuck

shibe : he's at prom like "oh geeze"

shibe : "i've made a huge mistake"

sofa : hes so alarmed

sofa : on one hand hes trying to figure out how deep in denial he can be and on the other its like

sofa : what about booster

sofa : does booster like kissing girls more than kissing me

shibe : oh noooooooooooooooooooooo

shibe : booster's across the room slow-dancing with bea and sticks his tongue out at ted

sofa : ted just tries to act natural but hes totally thinking of asking booster to slow dance in private later

shibe : he's like "okay do i come up with an excuse or do i just ask him for real"

shibe : truthfully booster doesn't think kissing ted is like.... a huge amount better than kissing girls.  it's just better with ted because ted is fun and good with mechanics and gets it when booster is complaining about guy stuff

shibe : but then when he considers that dating a girl would mean not kissing ted anymore he's like ........nah i'm good

sofa : no thanks

shibe : i'm dying, just think of bea/tora making a deal with booster/ted to be each other's beards

sofa : OHHH H YES

shibe : they even stage a fake pregnancy scare one time so that eveyrone thinks they're a totally sexually active teen het romance

sofa : the challenge is to not act too outrageous while theyre on 'dates' because ted will start cracking up at any stupid thing booster tries while 'dating' bea

sofa : OHH MY GOD U KIDS

shibe : bea's like "i dunno" but then tora points out that it basically means they get to go on dates for free b/c the guys have to foot the bill

sofa : it leads to extremely cheap dates

sofa : but extremely cheap dates they still don't have to pay for

shibe : i'm trying to imagine ted and booster like.... slow-dancing outside the gymnasium by the dumpster, with earth angel playing tinnily from the door

shibe : cry

sofa : ohhhh no that's too cute

shibe : michelle like... keeping watch on the steps, smiling fondly

sofa : shes very proud of her brother but also: his tastes

sofa : because despite the gang stuff teds obviously still a nerd

shibe : the sheer relief that ted doesn't want to date her for real

sofa : HONESTLY

sofa : im dying purely in thought of all the gestures booster must do that counts as "look we're going steady" but no one will like go out of their way to ask them about

sofa : like giving ted his jacket

shibe : or his ring

shibe : or his pin

sofa : or carrying his books or something

sofa : YEAH

sofa : TEDS SO FLUSTERED but hes gotta keep it cool

shibe : guy thoroughly beating the shit out of anyone that laughs about them behind their backs

sofa : its enough to scare ppl into backing off at least

sofa : guy def still teases them all the damn time tho

shibe : oh totally

shibe : but like, no one else gets to

shibe : guy cracks a joke at their expense and someone in earshot laughs

shibe : and guy just spins around like YOU WANT SOME

sofa : i bet all of them get detention together too

sofa : that's usually when they collaborate with what they have to cover up at least like, 3 of guys worst cuts, and also to fuck around and copy off of ted's homework

shibe : i love that ted is like... a nerdy biker delinquent

shibe : how charming

sofa : YEAH

sofa : ppl are like, hes a bright charming young man, but hes such a trouble maker

sofa : shaking their heads

shibe : FOR HALLOWEEN

shibe : for halloween

shibe : booster dresses in drag and finally finally gets to wear his poodleskirt

shibe : it's the only acceptable time

sofa : YES

sofa : ppl think its a joke and he plays it off as much

shibe : oh for sure

shibe : but inside, he's glowing

shibe michelle plays along and goes as a greaser

sofa : but he keeps shooting these sneaky glances @ ted and ted has to shove him like CMON

shibe : "get it, we're twins, we did a set"

sofa : yesss yes omg

shibe : and at the halloween dance booster finally gets to dance in his poodle skirt

shibe : and he looks amaaaazing

sofa : ted is on fire like. the whole time

sofa : drags booster out back like I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

sofa : (there is 0 actual talking)

shibe : ahahhahhahahha

shibe : yesssss

shibe : it's like, legitimately the best day of booster's life. and that includes the time he made the varsity football team

sofa : yes absolutely

sofa : boosters probably just really glad hes got so much goin for him

sofa : like the varsity team, and a group of people who genuinely like him, and also ted

shibe : and a sister that's really helpful and supportive when she's not teasing him mercilessly

sofa : yes

sofa : auuug h h i just realized booster must have the stupid football jacket too damn it

shibe : ahhahahhahhahahhahahh ayes eysyesyesyesyesyes

sofa : im also thinkin like....... what if...... ted needs glasses... like those really thick ones

sofa : he doesn't wear them unless hes working on something REALLY important but he still def needs them

shibe : ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shibe : big old coke glasses

shibe : booster reading menus aloud for ted

sofa : yessss omg

sofa : ted also coming over to fix anything that breaks in the carter family house because he knows they cant really afford to hire anybody

shibe : ah oh noooooooooooooo

shibe : booster and michelle working a bunch of jobs to help their mom

sofa : y es omg

sofa : assuming of course teds family is still rich he probably like goes to... any number of their jobs and tips them with like. all his pocket change

sofa : booster keeps telling him not to but he keeps doing it

shibe : booster behind the counter of a soda-jerk place

shibe : and ted's like, yes, i would like to make a special order

shibe : "we don't do substitutions ted. i've told you this. repeatedly"

shibe : not even forrrrrrr twenty bucks??????

shibe : *sides bill over

shibe : ..... i'll go crush up some candy bars and put them in your milkshake. you're the worst

sofa : TED OMG

sofa : hes just there eating it

sofa : completely satisfied with himself

shibe : GOING TO THE DRIVE IN THEATER

sofa : OOHHH BOY

sofa : almost getting kicked out of the drive in theater

sofa : because theyre actually super obnoxious

shibe : tora working as a waitress at a drive in burger place with rollar skates

sofa : yesss yess omg

sofa : i bet tora like

sofa : puts special patches or something on everyones jacket

sofa : just so everyone knows theyre all apart of the gang, together

shibe : oh man of course

shibe : MAYBE TORA

shibe : embroidered the poodle for booster's jacket

shibe : at ted's request

sofa : OHHH YESSSSSSSSS

sofa : the exact moment tora figured out ted was sweet on booster

sofa : one step ahead of the game

shibe : when she gave it to ted, she was like "good luck ted"

shibe : he was like ????? thanks?

sofa : totally went off to gossip abt it with bea and beas just like yessss

sofa : i knew it

shibe : WELL THEY KEEP EXPERIMENTING IN THE BATHROOMS

shibe : it seems obvious in retrospect

-------------------------------------

shibe: do u wanna talk about 50's au

shibe: b/c

shibe: i had a heartbreaking idea

[8/24/2015 9:26:22 PM] couch seat hands: oh my god absolutely yes

shibe: OK SO

shibe: i was thinking about ted going to the dance with michelle

shibe: and i'm like first of all how did she say yes, and was it even his idea

shibe: and i realized like....

shibe: booster got a date with bea first. and then ted was like "well have fun buddy"

shibe: and booster was like NO ur coming too, and ted is like i don't have a date???? and tora's going with guy

shibe:  so BOOSTER was like u need to ask michelle

shibe:  and ted was like hahahha yeah, she'll never say yes in a million years

shibe: and booster's like no, dude trust me

shibe: she'll say yes

shibe: so the next day, he asks michelle and she does say yes??????

shibe: which is awesome but confusing, but really cool

shibe: but then all of the next few weeks leading up to the dance, booster is working tons of extra hours

shibe: and he tells ted it's cool and whatever, but he's looking really really tired and he keeps falling asleep in class b/c he's working late night shifts at the general store

shibe: and long story short, booster's working extra hours so he can pay for michelle to buy a really nice dress and get her hair/makeup done at a salon, which is how he got her to say yes to ted

shibe: and now ted's guilty cuz he's there with michelle and it's not like he imagined it would be at all, but booster worked so hard just so he could go with a girl

sofa: AAAAHHH OH MY GOD

sofa: this KILLS THE MAN

shibe: i'm awful

sofa: u gotta tell me they save a dance for each other

sofa: like 1 at least

shibe: this is the one where they dance back behind the gym so yeah, totally

sofa: OoHHh right

sofa: yesss

shibe: but michelle looks so gorgeous, she is the most beautiful girl there

shibe: and ted still wants booster instead

sofa: aaGGHH

sofa: to be fair the carter twins are probably the most beautiful sibs in school

sofa: but gOD TED

shibe: booster and michelle do a dance together, as siblings, obvs

sofa: yesss

shibe: and then ted's like "can i cut in" and booster's like "oh, sure, ted" and ted's like "... n o can we go talk... outside"

sofa: OHHH

sofa: i am lovin this as a good opportunity to be like so u know how we kissed each other for practice? Well,

sofa: Bc those are the type of scenarios that keep me young

shibe: and michelle followed them and booster's like "NO SHHHhhhhhhhhhhh" and michelle is like

shibe: plz

shibe: we're trwins

shibe: no secrets

shibe: i know all

shibe: just like u know that i'm not a virgin

sofa: DANG MICHELLE

sofa: Michelle and booster are probably like.... the two kids u would least expect to be messing around and generally being delinquents, Bc they look like fuckin hallmark kids and also one of them is a cheerleader and a football star

sofa: but here they are

shibe: they fight tooth and nail for that popularity, hahahha

shibe: michelle with grooming and social ladders, booster with sports and working five different odd jobs

sofa: i imagine any time booster like... fucks up or breaks something at work teds always like I'll cover it don't worry

sofa: cuz obviously he's got the rich kid perks, and spending his money that way pisses off his folks

sofa: booster keeps telling him to cut it out b4 he gets cut off or something

shibe: honestly, i wonder how they started smooching in the first place

shibe: like, given the setting and all

shibe: for the 50's au, i mean

sofa: well i mean i figure it was probably like a "have you ever kissed a girl" "not really.. you?" and they agreed that if they did it strictly for practicing only, at first, it wouldn't be gay

sofa: and then it was

shibe: something like, if it doesn't kiss when you kiss a family member, it doesn't kiss when you kiss a bro

shibe: and also all the anti-homosexual propaganda usually had to do with pedophiles so

shibe: maybe they were just like "well it's nothign like that so"

sofa: ahhh truuu

shibe: oh nooooo

shibe: ted being like "holy shit i'm the worst pervert, NO ONE IS SAFE"

sofa: NOO OMG

sofa: how would booster even sort himself thru it omg

sofa: OR TORA AND BEA FOR THAT MATTER TOO

shibe: i feel like tora and bea get a pass b/c there were totally like

shibe: dime novels about lesbians and shit

shibe: i bet booster would like

shibe: go digging through his history books

shibe: and come back to ted with a long list of non-straight people

shibe: and be like "look, this is so normal, you can still be an awesome inventor when you grow up"

sofa: boOSTER

sofa: GOOOOSH

shibe: but at the same time, being like "if you want to keep this totally under wraps, we can do it. i'm so willing to do that for you"

sofa: i m gonna die holy shit

sofa: ted probably agrees with it because obviously its safer to lie low but hes also totally lousy with guilt

shibe: which is funny, b/c booster doesn't feel bad about it at all?

shibe: he spends tons of time pretending he's not poor as shit

shibe: what's one more charade on the pile

sofa: covers face

sofa: booster gold has fucking. ruined my life

shibe: he's such a sweet kind, innocent, vain asshole

shibe: protect him, universe, just as he protects u

sofa: HONESTLY

sofa: HES FULL OF HIMSELF BUT LIKE.. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO AT THAT POINT

sofa: pls. what else Does He Have

shibe: ted must have an awful family

shibe: like, a gross dad that wants him to go into business and a sad drugged out housewife ma

sofa: ur probably right

shibe: ted probably lives in a big house

shibe: and booster throws rocks at his window and ted is like I'M ON THE FIRST FLOOR PLZ STOP

sofa: OMG YES

sofa: consistently tries to get ted to sneak out with him in the middle of the night

shibe: he's always getting off work at night and dying to go out for a shake or something

shibe: he's one of those people that gets wired and giddy when they're tired

sofa: absolutely omfg

sofa: those are probably his moments of pranking ingenious

shibe: they put green dye in bea's shampoo

shibe: but then she likes it so much she keeps doing it

shibe: prank failed

sofa: they still try to take credit for it tho later on

sofa: like

sofa: yeah ur welcome

shibe: people giving bea shit for being a "spic" and everyone like JUMPING IN TO FIGHT LIKE HEY

shibe: even tora

shibe: tora straight up pulls a girl's hair out

sofa: OOOHH YES

sofa: tora is very nice, and sweet and polite, but she can be fuckin brutal if need be

sofa: that's why the gang loves her

shibe: they all have polaroids of each other with black eyes and huge grins

sofa: ahhh yes yes yesss omfg

[andystanberg]

~ still not gay ~

Word Count: 2 800

Genre: chat fic, coming out, coming to terms with sexuality, humour

Pairing(s): phan, tiny mention of kickthestickz

Warnings: swearing, so many spelling/grammar mistakes (all on purpose as it’s a chat fic), mentioned homophobia, sexual humour (not a lot)

Summary:

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat. PJ: what? dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

A/N Shout out to the (formerly) ~ still not gay ~ chat, thanks for not believing I was straight. (Loosely based off my own unconventional coming out.)

AUGUST 12TH

dan is gay

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat.

PJ: what?

dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

PJ: you are.

crabstickzzz: SUCK IT HOWELL

LouiseP: Chris, Dan clearly isn’t ready for blowjobs yet.

dannyboy: IM NOT GAY

PJ: sure.

crabstickzzz: wat about ur crush on phil

AmazingPhil: His what now

dannyboy: i dont have a crush on phil

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: im straight guys cmon

PJ has changed the chat name to dan is in denial and gay.

dannyboy: oh for fucks sake

dannyboy: seriously guys im 100% sure im straight

PJ: sure.

-

AUGUST 15TH

dan is in denial and gay

AmazingPhil: Why is the name always about Dan

LouiseP: This group chat is dedicated to whether or not Dan is gay. And memes.

crabstickzzz: thats all we talk about so theres no point in creating another

PJ: i’ve been in this group chat for two days and it’s true.

dannyboy: why does it matter what i am

crabstickzzz: bc u wont admit ur gay! we r teaching u to love and accept urself 4 who u r!!!

dannyboy: bullshit

AmazingPhil: Maybe we should lay off Dan a bit

dannyboy: thank you filip

AmazingPhil: Never mind please continue

dannyboy changed the chat name to i hate you all

-

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil.

AmazingPhil: You’re not mad, are you?

dannyboy: no

AmazingPhil: Sure?

dannyboy: its fine. theyre joking and having fun. i just dont get why they care so much about my sexuality though

AmazingPhil: Maybe Crabstickzzz and PJ have a crush on you and Louise is trying to wingman both???

dannyboy: yeah right. can you imagine?

AmazingPhil: You never know

dannyboy: for starters, nobody has, or ever had, or ever will have a crush on me, and secondly, crabstickzzz and pj are dating

AmazingPhil: WHAT? WHEN? HOW?

dannyboy: well i dont know for sure but cmon

AmazingPhil: Oh good. I thought I had missed their big reveal

AmazingPhil: Also don’t be so sure about the crush thing

dannyboy: what? who has a crush on me?!

dannyboy: PHIL LESTER ANSWER ME

-

NOVEMBER 20TH

i hate you all

dannyboy: GUYS OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THE PIC ZAC EFRON JUST POSTED

LouiseP: Who’s Zack?

PJ: oh boy.

dannyboy: HOW DARE YOU! ZAC**** IS THE ACTOR OF TROY BOLTON AKA MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

AmazingPhil: I JUST SAW IT TOO HE LOOKS SO GOOD

dannyboy: I KNOW RIGHT?????

LouiseP: daNIEL

PJ: HAH KNEW IT.

dannyboy: what

crabstickzzz: ur not good at being straight, my friend

dannyboy: oh come on! i may be straight but im not BLIND!

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: phil back me up!

AmazingPhil: Dan has a point.

crabstickzzz: spoil sport

crabstickzzz has kicked AmazingPhil from the chat.

dannyboy: OI

LouiseP: Chris, add him back in.

crabstickzzz: fineeee only cause ur scary

crabstickzzz has added AmazingPhil to the chat.

dannyboy has changed the chat name to welcome back fil.

AmazingPhil has changed the chat name to chris sucks.

dannyboy: i second that

crabstickzzz: wat did i do???

PJ: you’re really asking yourself that?

-

NOVEMBER 25TH

chris sucks

LouiseP: It’s been five days are you all dea?

crabstickzzz: yep im so dea

LouiseP: Oh shut up, like you can talk.

PJ: he never stops talking. don’t encourage him, for my sake.

crabstickzzz: do not

AmazingPhil: Do too

PJ: do too.

dannyboy: do too

crabstickzzz: alright i get it

LouiseP: Do too.

LouiseP: Whoops.

crabstickzzz: watevr

crabstickzzz: so dan have u figured out that ur gay yet

dannyboy: for the last time, im like 99% sure im straight

PJ: that’s 1% less than last time.

crabstickzzz: progress!!!

dannyboy: no its just that if evan peters wanted to fuck me, i wouldnt say no

LouiseP: Hardly anyone would.

dannyboy: see? it doesnt prove anything

AmazingPhil: well…

dannyboy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE

PJ: welcome to the dark side.

AmazingPhil: I just go for whatever side is winning! Can’t blame a man for surviving

dannyboy: thats not the saying

AmazingPhil: It is now!

dannyboy: weve been over this! you cant steal sayings and try to change them

AmazingPhil: I just did

dannyboy: why am i friends with you

crabstickzzz: bc u like him

dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ still not gay ~.

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: You say that a lot.

PJ: it’s because it’s needed. if dan didn’t deny the blatantly obvious, i wouldn’t have to be sarcastic all the time.

crabstickzzz: dont lie to urself

-

NOVEMBER 27TH

~ still not gay~

dannyboy: oh my god oh m y god

AmazingPhil: What?!

dannyboy: fcukin evan peters in ahs

AmazingPhil: ARE YOU WATCHING WITHOUT ME

dannyboy: maybe…

AmazingPhil: BETRAYAL

crabstickzzz: gayyyyyy

dannyboy: fuck off let me have this chris

PJ: yeah chris, fuck off.

dannyboy: thanks pj

PJ: it’s okay. also...

dannyboy: what

PJ: gayyyyy.

AmazingPhil: Okay but Dan has a point

LouiseP: True!

dannyboy: phil and louise are my only friends

crabstickzzz: danyul they both like guys doesnt that say something

dannyboy: psh whatever

-

DECEMBER 25TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: ugh im stuck with sucky wifi away from home :(

AmazingPhil: Aw! Does that mean no skype tonight?

dannyboy: im using my data rn and its so slow, skype would be a nightmare. sorry phil

AmazingPhil: I’ll see you when you get back, then.

dannyboy: yeah :)

crabstickzzz: ugh stop flirting

PJ: yeah, get your own chat.

LouiseP: I think it’s cute.

dannyboy: yeah okay im leaving

PJ: he didn’t deny the flirting part though.

-

JANUARY 1ST

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: new years and no one to kiss wow what a surprise

AmazingPhil: My offer still stands ;)

LouiseP: WAIT, WHAT OFFER?!

crabstickzzz: yeah wat offer

PJ: is no one gonna..?

PJ: okay fine I guess I’ll have to do it.

PJ: gayyyyyyy

AmazingPhil: I wish

dannyboy: keep dreaming philly ;)

LouiseP: I ship it.

PJ: join the club.

dannyboy: can anybody read what the title of this chat is

crabstickzzz: we can we just dont care

PJ: the only reason no one has changed it is because of its irony.

-

JANUARY 12TH

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil

dannyboy: ahH EVAN PETERS

AmazingPhil: Dan are you sure you’re not gay

dannyboy: well i mean i have liked girls before so even if i did like guys i wouldnt be gay

AmazingPhil: Bi?

dannyboy: maybe idk

dannyboy: but anyway EVAN PETERS

-

JANUARY 16TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: this chat is so quiet

AmazingPhil: For the first time in forever

dannyboy: did you literally just reference Frozen

LouiseP: What’s wrong with Frozen?!

AmazingPhil: Yeah Dan what’s wrong with Frozen

PJ: he probably thinks its gay lmao.

crabstickzzz: dans literally the epitome of no homo

dannyboy: wow what a big word you used there chris

dannyboy: do you even know what it means

dannyboy: also i’ll have you know i have proudly never said no homo

AmazingPhil: I’ve tested that ;)

PJ: WOAH WHAT DID PHIL JUST MAKE A DIRTY JOKE?

LouiseP: PHIL, I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU TO BE A GOOD CHILD.

crabstickzzz: DAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM

dannyboy: wouldnt you like to know

crabstickzzz: wht te h fcuk

PJ: … GAYYYYYYY.

LouiseP: I second that.

AmazingPhil: I hope that

dannyboy: that doesnt make sense

PJ: okay, straight boy, he meant ‘fil hopes you’re gay, as in attracted to boys, no “no homo”’.

dannyboy: im not an idiot

crabstickzzz: debateble

dannyboy: debatable* dumbass

-

JANUARY 30TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIL MY BEST FRIEND

LouiseP: Happy birthday! Wow, January went by quickly.

dannyboy: yeah can you believe that Phil Lester created January and the world was so hyped for his birthday it sped up time

PJ: oh my god, guys, holy shit.

crabstickzzz: what

PJ: DAN DIDN’T TALK ABOUT HOW BIRTHDAYS ARE A STEP CLOSER TO DEATH. AM I ALIVE?

crabstickzzz: hoLY FUCK UR RIGHT

LouiseP: Dan, you feeling okay?

dannyboy: jeez sorry for wishing my friend a happy birthday

AmazingPhil: I thought it was sweet

crabstickzzz: yeah we get it u love each other

PJ: they’re so cute but so gross.

dannyboy: i dont like phil cmon guys

AmazingPhil: I thought we had something :( you even forgot to talk about the inevitability of death for me :((((

PJ: hey, at least he didn’t say he doesn’t like guys or reference the chat name.

-

FEBRUARY 3RD

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: ugh people suck

AmazingPhil: What happened?

dannyboy: nothing

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: You can tell us, Dan.

crabstickzzz: as long as its not blackmail worthy bc in that case dont be so sure

LouiseP: Chris.

crabstickzzz: i was joking, ofc he can tell us

dannyboy: nvm, i said it was nothing

-

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil

AmazingPhil: Seriously what happened

dannyboy: one of my old friends from uni keeps asking me when im getting a girlfriend or making jokes about my lack of love life every time he sees me and im sick of it

AmazingPhil: You’ve complained about him before and it you never seemed too bothered

dannyboy: yeah well…

AmazingPhil: ?

dannyboy: i know it shouldnt bother me but this time when i tried to ignore all of his questions about getting a girlfriend or whatever he said “you’re gonna turn gay and be alone”

dannyboy: like i know gay isnt an insult but at the same time it bugs me? is that wrong?

AmazingPhil: I don’t think so. Maybe it was just that he said something like that in the first place

dannyboy: maybe… or like some internalised homophobia idk i feel shitty

dannyboy: im just so tired of everyone asking me when im gonna get a relationship

dannyboy: my mum has been making hints at it lately

AmazingPhil: I love your mum but everyone should back off

dannyboy: this is cheesy but you’re the best

AmazingPhil: No problem <3

dannyboy: <3

-

FEBRUARY 4TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: youll all be happy to know that i almost accidentally kissed a guy today

crabstickzzz: o H YM GOD DANYUL WELCOME TO THE GAY SIDE

dannyboy: a l m o s t + a c c i d e n t a l l y

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: i thought you had stopped with the sarcastic sures

PJ: keep dreaming, howell.

crabstickzzz: shut up time for the important qs

crabstickzzz: was it fil

LouiseP: Please for the love of god let it be Phil.

AmazingPhil: Let what be me

dannyboy: they’re freaking out over the almost kiss

AmazingPhil: Oh! Sorry guys, it wasn’t me

crabstickzzz: NOOOOOOOOO

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: Liesssssssssssssss.

dannyboy: it was this cute guy who ive been friends with for a while and we were messing around and whispering in each others ears to waste time during some meeting that was probably important and i turned just as he was whispering something and our lips almost touched

dannyboy: we jumped back just in time

PJ: there was so much gay in that that I can’t even form a coherent reason as to why it was gay.

AmazingPhil: Can you believe that Dan cheated on me :(((((()(09()

crabstickzzz: CUTE GUY? WHISPERING IN EARS? HOWL U R GAY OK

PJ: good news, chris just said my reasons for me.

LouiseP: Who’s the lucky guy?

dannyboy: first of all, weve been over this. i know when someone is cute, guy or girl. second of all, we were whispering creepy stuff like “mayonnaise” to try and freak each other out and third of all, not telling because id know you guys would stalk him

AmazingPhil: I know who it is ;)

PJ: i bet it’s phil.

dannyboy: nope. i said CUTE guy

AmazingPhil: HEY!

dannyboy: kidding. but no, it wasnt phil

-

FEBRUARY 8TH

~ still not gay ~

LouiseP: Alright, for today we put a halt on the usual Dan is gay discourse.

dannyboy: thank you friend

PJ: why? did someone die?

crabstickzzz: BREAKING TRADITION IS NOT ALLWD!!!

LouiseP: Shush, let me talk about a cute guy I saw today.

LouiseP: Anyway how do I ask him out?

AmazingPhil: Wait until Valentines and anonymously get him a rose.

dannyboy: ask him out or let your feelings pile up and watch him inevitably move on because you’re too scared to make a move

PJ: talk to him on the internet until you become best friends and be gay oops i meant straight for each other.

crabstickzzz: love poems via mysterious skype calls no one gets to know the contents of

LouiseP: The last two are unrealistic. Who talks to a stranger on the internet??? Stanger danger!1!!1!

dannyboy: fil i think theyre picking on us

AmazingPhil: Fair enough

dannyboy: YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE

-

FEBRUARY 11TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: i cant wait to get nothing on valentines

LouiseP: Same.

AmazingPhil: Same

PJ: same.

crabstickzzz: sam

crabstickzzz: samr*

crabstickzzz: SAME****

dannyboy: this chat is so depressing

dannyboy: also learn how to spell

crabstickzzz: np

crabstickzzz: no*

-

FEBRUARY 13TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ not gay, but bi ~

crabstickzzz: I KNEW IR

dannyboy: shush

crabstickzzz: I FCUKIGN KNEWS IT

dannyboy: you saw nothing

crabstickzzz: YOURE BI

dannyboy: i was right about not being gay though

crabstickzzz: BUT I KNEW YOU WERENT STRAIGHT

PJ: WOAH WOAH WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENIGN OH MT FGDPL.

LouiseP: PJ ISN’T USING FULL STOPS!!! HE’S BROKEN!

LouiseP: DAN, YOU’VE BROKEN ALL OF US!!!

dannyboy: I SAID I WAS 99% SURE I WAS STRAIGHT

crabstickzzz: I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG

dannyboy: NO YOU THOUGHT I WAS GAY

dannyboy: WE WERE ALL WRONG

PJ: S T I L L.

AmazingPhil: This is so amusing

LouiseP: WHY ISN’T PHIL JOINING OUR FREAKING OUT?!

dannyboy: … might have came out already yesterday maybe haha dont kill me

PJ: WHAT?

crabstickzzz: FUK U FIL AND DANYUL

LouiseP: AND YOU’RE ONLY TELLING US NOW??????

dannyboy: yeah well coming out to phil was the first time ive ever done it so it was a little emotionally exhausted and i shook so much that i needed to recharge

AmazingPhil: He was so nervous but I’m proud of him

PJ: yeah, same.

LouiseP: I second that!

crabstickzzz: I FUCKING NKEW TOU WERE GAY

AmazingPhil: I thought we had gotten past this bit

dannyboy: chris, read the new name. im still not gay, just extremely bi

crabstickzzz: sry but i cant believe ur finally coming out

LouiseP: If you don’t mind me asking, what made you realise you were bi?

dannyboy: it all started with this one guy in high school who was so fucking hot and i had like a teensy bit of a crush on him and omg he was so pretty and one time i saw him literally leaning against a wall with his hair messed up and i died

dannyboy: i thought it was a one-time thing and i wasnt really sure if it counted considering ive only ever been attracted to girls before that, but recently ive just come to terms with that and the other thing

crabstickzzz: WHICH IS

dannyboy: nnnnnnnothing

PJ: sure.

AmazingPhil: Ha you guys aren’t on best friend level, so of course you don’t know

crabstickzzz: r00d

dannyboy: dont worry he doesnt know either, hes just being a little shit

AmazingPhil: Love you too

LouiseP: Can you imagine how much we would’ve freaked out over Phil’s message in August?

PJ: seasons change and people do too, apparently.

-

FEBRUARY 14TH

~ not gay, but bi ~

dannyboy: [image attached] someone sent me this chocolate rose with a note saying “- Voldemort” i wonder who that could be??!?!?

PJ: yeah, can anyone think of a super pale nerd who likes Harry Potter almost as much as Dan does and knows where he lives??? I’m coming up blank!!!1!!

LouiseP: Awwww, that’s so sweet!

crabstickzzz: barf

AmazingPhil: Thanks Louise I spent 2 whole pounds on it

dannyboy: spending so much for his boyfriend ew sap stop wasting money

PJ: bOYFRIEND?

crabstickzzz: WAIT I THOUGHT U 2 WERE JUST BEING WEIRD AND PLATONIC COUPLEY LIKE U ALWAYS R AND UR TELLING ME UR DATING

AmazingPhil: It turns out that the “other thing” Dan mentioned was him liking me

dannyboy: and also staring at his lips whenever he talks to me and thinkingaboutkissingthemmaybehah

LouiseP: CONGRATS, GUYS!

PJ: this is like my OTP.

crabstickzzz: *teenage girl voice* OH MY GOD MY OTP

dannyboy: lets leave before they start being weird

AmazingPhil: They’re our friends, don’t worry so much

crabstickzzz: so like did your first kiss involve tongue or

AmazingPhil: Yeah, bye.

crabstickzzz: he didnt say no

LouiseP: cHRIS.

dannyboy: if you must know, it involved NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

dannyboy has left the chat.

AmazingPhil has left the chat.

PJ: …there was definitely tongue.

LouiseP: Agreed.

[groundramon]

I’ve been thinking abt that one Sonic Boom scene I reblogged and i applied it to some other things I’ve been thinking about and

I never, ever want my stories/tv shows to be known as “that show that has gay characters in it” or “that show with a black lead/a lot of main characters of color”

Dont get me wrong, I’ll shove in LGBT+ characters into every nook and cranny of my shows that the network allows me to, I’ll try to show as many cultures and races as I can (in a respectful/educated way though, so I have a lot of research to do <D), but I dont want my projects to be known for that.  I dont want my projects to get outrageously popular because I included a trans character.

Because all I’m doing is treating these things as though they’re the norm.  I’m not doing it for brownie points, although I guess I’m doing it to give minority kids characters that they can relate to more.  But that’s only half of it; the other half or so is just...rounding out the score.  Making the hollywood catalog of characters a little closer to real-world numbers, even if at the end of the day im hardly making a dent in the years of homophobia, transphobia, racism, and sexism that this industry has built itself upon (just like all of American tbh but anyways)

I want my projects to be successful, dont get me wrong.  I want people to be able to enjoy the representation on my shows as well.  But I dont want to be given a free pass to write a shitty show because of it.  And I ESPECIALLY dont want people calling people who dislike my show a homophobe or a transphobe by default.

I dont want to ride off the coattails of people who were braver than me and have gone through more than me.  Quite frankly, another reason I dont want my shows to be know as “that show with the gay guy” is because that...that sounds suspiciously like I’m profiting off of other people’s struggles.  I guess I’m trans so it doesnt really apply there but I still almost feel like I’m just using LGBT+ identities as some kind of stepping stone to promote my own show.  Like how companies use allyship to promote their own brand.  Even if the people behind the company really do care about LGBT+ people (which theyre probably 95% at least indifferent about it, if they dont actually care) the company doesnt.  And a show is just as soulless as a company; a show cannot be an ally for LGBT+ rights, it can only advocate for them or use them to further its own agenda.  Just because I’m trans and an LGBT+ advocate doesnt mean shit in the context of the show.

But like, I cant control how other people see my stories, so if that happens then whatever.  If people say I’m profiting off of LGBT+ identities, then that’s their problem.  All I’m going to do is insist that people should look beyond the themes i present and the representation I enjoy putting into my stories, and actually look at the shows themselves for what they are.  If people dont then fine, they can enjoy my shows however they want to.  I cant police how people enjoy my content.  But I, for one, will always tell you that I want my stories to be critiqued and judged for what they are, factoring out the fact that i show some “progressive” tendencies in my writing.

Highlighting the fact that I have a black gay character is just counterproductive to the idea of normalizing these things.  Saying “oh yeah, my show is so progressive, we love showing all things LGBT+ and being as diverse as possible!  Keep watching to see more gay characters along the way!” is just...counterproductive.

I cant tell you how mad I get when people treat “oh, we have a black character!” as progressive.  Like I happened to be in the room one time when my mom had The Bachelorette on and I heard the announcer say “we are proud to announce our first black Bachelorette, [insert her name here]!” and I was immediately filled with rage.  Oh WOW, I’m so happy that in 2017, you’ve FINALLY had a black Bachelorette.  It’d be one thing if you just happened not to have a black bachelorette until then (I believe the female suitors in The Bachelor have been black in the past? so I’d be willing to choc it up to coincidence) but the fact that you ANNOUNCED it like it was some kind of great act of progressiveness just proves that you actually ARE bigoted racists. (It also doesnt help that one of her suitors that was announced when they said that said to her “I’ve heard once you go black, you never go back” and she just laughed awkwardly and?? oh my god i hate reality tv, not because its dumb but because of shit like this)

And the thing is, you can enjoy something with LGBT+ themes without solely liking it for said LGBT+ themes.  It’s purely coincidence that 3/4 of my favorite shows (LOK, SU, and GF - the only one that doesnt have them is ATLA which...kind of makes sense given that its older, but LOK did it later and was the first to do it as far as kids shows are concerned sooo) happen to have gay relationships in them.  Like I certainly appreciate that Asami and Korra are bisexual (both because lesbians and because of that twist ending for the love triangle bullshit, lmao), I certainly appreciate that the alien race in SU is technically made up of lesbians (or pan girls? either way, still lesbians), but that’s not why I like either.  In fact, it’s far from why I like either; I dont know if it even factors into my love for either show, but i know it doesnt significantly.  I would still like either show just as much were it not for the gay themes.  And that’s what I want my stories to be.  Sure you can appreciate the representation (and god help me do it right/respectfully), but I want you to like it without that, too.  Because otherwise...I’m just profiting off of other people’s struggles, and you dont sincerely like my work for what it is.

My primary goal is to create a good story with enjoyable characters that you can relate to.  Part of creating enjoyable characters is exploring all sides that humanity has to offer (within reason) - but that’s only one small aspect of one half of my goal.  And I really hope that shows in my work, and that people can appreciate the show(s) for what they actually are, not just because it agrees with their political morals.