#(with varying degrees of anger) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

throneofsapphics · 3 months ago

Text

infinitesimal

batboys x reader

summary: upset at your partners forgetting an important date, you run to one of your old haunts.

warnings: angst, injuries, off-page violence

word count: 2596

a/n: based on this request!

You closed the door behind you, head tilted up to the stars to keep the tears from falling. A full arrangement coated the night sky, constellations and galaxies beyond anything you could feasibly imagine. It made you feel small, infinitesimally small and unimportant in the scheme of everything, but nothing, nothing had ever made you feel as small as the conversation you’d just had.

Perhaps you hadn’t been together quite that long, just a few decades, perhaps they’d had a lot on their mind, but if it was important to you shouldn’t it be important to them? Maybe it wasn’t fair of you to put your problems on them like this, but with all of the emotions running through and heating your blood, fair was the last thing on your mind.

They couldn’t figure out why you’d shown up in tears, had acted as if your emotions were a burden.

Tears glistened at the corners of your eyes as you pushed the door open to the study, where the three of them sat looking various degrees of stressed and tense. Perhaps trouble somewhere in Illyria, that’s what it usually was these days.

“What is it?” Rhys asked as you studied the table in front of them, snicking the door shut behind you. It wouldn’t stay closed long.

Your mouth parted, but no words came out. You couldn't. Just the near-unbearable pressure on your chest, threatening to cave you in and suffocate you, bury you alive.

“Why are you crying?” Cassian, you know he didn’t mean to, probably, sounded irritated. You hadn’t known you were crying.

Azriel’s head snapped up, so did Rhys’s. A quick scan of their faces showed none of the understanding you’d hoped for, instead showed varying levels of irritation, so you did what was easiest - you left, not bothering to let the door shut gently. Soft voices, but no footsteps, followed you.

You stormed out through the front gate. You knew how to release some energy, and how to do it in a way they would despise. A way they’d convinced you to quit because it was ‘legally dubiousl’ and ‘dangerous.’ You didn’t care right now. Later, you might look back and think you were an idiot but in this moment it seemed like nothing mattered.

If your feelings didn’t matter to them, theirs certainly shouldn’t matter to you, but in the back of your mind ... the very back where you shoved them away, they still did. Still haunted you, mocked you, whispered make-believe insults and disparaging comments. Your mind could be a prison, and you were well aware of that. So were they. Were you just some kind of pet for them to fix up and ready to enter society? If that was the case, you'd make sure it was one of the damn hardest jobs they’d ever receive.

Well aware you were spiraling, you did nothing to stop it and instead let that anger build and ready itself for the next few hours. The timing and date was impeccable, as if this was meant to be. Perhaps it was, and perhaps you shouldn’t have had to give up something you love for them, no matter how bad it was for you.

“Giving her time to cool off feels wrong,” Cassian said. There wasn't any other way he could describe it other than it didn’t seem right and usually his gut instinct was correct.

“I can practically still feel her anger,” Rhys reminded him.

‘All the more reason to go after her,’ he thought, but didn’t voice aloud. Maybe he should’ve

Azriel was pensive in a corner, looking like he’d forgotten something important, or like he was brooding. Perhaps a mixture of both. Asking him what was wrong had only gotten him a non-answer. He didn’t ask again. When Azriel wanted to tell him something, he would. You were the only one who could get away with pushing.

“So how long do we wait?” He asked Rhys instead, who pinched the bridge of his nose. They were all on edge. Unrest in Illyria always put them in a rather sour mood.

“A few hours or the night,” Rhys’s answer made Cassian scowl, and he saw Az’s shadows flicker from the corner of his eye, “but she may very well come back before then.”

“She’s not a child throwing a tantrum,” Azriel said quietly. “There’s something we’re missing.”

Yes, and it was quite obviously driving him up the wall. Cassian racked his brain for anything there could be, but only drew up blanks.

He didn’t want to, but he’d listen to Rhys this time because when it came to you, the male was usually right, and knew the correct thing to do. He only hoped that still applied today. Otherwise ... he didn’t want to think about what could go wrong. Right now, all he needed to think about was the fucking papers in front of him.

He’d read the reports, he always did, but he was really a male made for battlefields. You weren’t a battlefield. Lovely and soft and everything kind and good in this world, he’d move mountains to preserve the sweet spot you brought to his life, and would do near anything in return to sweeten yours.

Before you he would, internally, mocked the doe-eyed males willing to do anything for their partners before but now ... he loved to say he understood it.

Drifting, his thoughts were drifting.

Cassian tapped the pen on the paper in front of him, a habit he knew irritated his brothers but he didn’t care. If it helped him focus now, he'd take their scorn. It kept him from launching into the night sky after you. Surprisingly, they didn’t say a word.

“I don’t have a good feeling about her leaving like that,” Azriel broke the silence of the last few hours.

Cassian’s head snapped up. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?” He nearly snarled. Rhys fixed him with a look he pointedly ignored.

Azriel’s mouth pressed into a tight line and Cassian read the apology in his eyes, one he wouldn’t voice. It didn’t matter, he wasn’t the one owed an apology.

The next words set his heart into an irregular beat, his throat tightening, his palms sweating, and every nerve standing at ready. Adrenaline. He knew it all too well.

“My shadows can’t find her.”

His heart jumped to his throat.

You knew it was stupid to come here, but you came anyway. Still, as you stalked through the smoky space, you thought it was stupid because it would disappoint them, not necessarily because you were putting yourself in danger.

Right now, your own life meant little to nothing to you, and no amount of positive self talk seemed capable of changing that. You’d set yourself on the small course in front of you, and you’d see it to the end.

You didn’t take into account that others might have a bone to pick with your partners.

With just enough energy left to leave with your dignity, you emerged from the ring bloodied and bruised but somehow a victor. With the state you were in, it didn’t quite feel like a victory. It took everything for you to keep moving. At least there was enough honor amongst this crowd you were safe enough to leave with a pocket full of jingling gold.

You’d walked here to clear your mind, but would you have enough energy to winnow home? Fat chance you’d reach out to Rhys to get help. It was winnow or walk.

The choice was made for you as you exited, spotting someone you weren’t particularly thrilled to see, especially not in your current state. Licking your dry lips, you tried to come up with something anything to say as piercing hazel eyes ripped right through you.

“Hello,” you said, quite lamely.

He didn’t reply. Fair enough.

You shook your head, you didn’t owe him anything. If anything ... well, you wouldn’t go there now.

“I’m going home,” you said, and stepped into the light, wincing as you realized the shadows covering your face were gone now, and he could see your injuries and embarrassment. The worst part was, this time it didn’t look worse than it was. In fact, it was probably worse than it looked.

“I'll take you home,” he grunted, concern and anger warring for space in his features. Well, fighting to break through that neutral mask of his. Maybe you were projecting and he actually didn’t give a damn. That was more likely, you told yourself. Life taught you that if you assumed someone would hurt you it lessened the sting when they eventually did.

“To my apartment,” you insisted, but this time you weren’t feeling too proud to turn down a hand.

His hand landed on your shoulder, grip just tight enough, like you were some disgusting piece of trash he could hardly stand to touch. Maybe you were nothing more than that to him. The thought tore you into a thousand tiny pieces, the one movement more degrading than them forgetting the entire meaning of this day.

You never thought one tiny gesture could break you like that, you’d never thought you’d be so weak as to let it, but you let that pain inside, let it swirl inside of you and envelop every bit, let it sting more than the physical pain you were in, more than any physical pain possibly could as shadows swirled around you, whirling you deep into his night and to where or whomever their master desired, you doubted he would actually obey your wishes.

Azriel touched you so delicately because he couldn’t bear to see you in any more pain than you already were, even if it was pain of your own making. He knew the fights were ‘legal,’ although barely sanctioned and hardly tolerated, but he still wanted to find whoever your opponent was that night and rip them limb from limb. Male or female, he didn’t give a fuck. A dark beauty of his job was he treated each gender equally, in his eyes an enemy was an enemy, gender aside.

He winnowed you directly to your shared home, having already sent word to Rhys the moment you showed yourself. He knew where you’d be, mainly because the fighting rings had clever wards to keep shadow singers out. One of a few places in Velaris that did, and they only popped up when Rhys was gone. His High Lord hadn’t bothered with them yet, but maybe it was time to ask him to do a bit of tampering. For public safety, of course.

You shoved away from him the moment you landed. His amusement was easily hid at the effect - you stumbling back, him staying perfectly in place. He could’ve teased you, asked where your fighting skills were now, but he knew from reputation and watching that you had a mean right hook and after the words left his lips he’d probably feel inclined to let you punch him. Your next words sobered and cured any amusement lingering in his system.

“Do you have such little respect for me?” You were genuinely affronted. His mouth pressed into a tight line, any answer he could give felt like a trap. With a scoff, you stalked - no, limped - away and Azriel was left with the sinking realization that he should’ve said something. You were still in earshot however, hadn’t quite reached the corner.

“I respect you.” Were three measly words really all he could manage? Speeches and platitudes were more Rhys’s forte.

“Obviously you don’t,” you swirled around on your heel, swaying. He was there in an instant, eyes scanning you head to toe, searching for more signs of anything amiss. He’d only spotted surface injuries earlier, but it's entirely possible he missed something. Even he could admit that.

“What’s wrong?” You tried to push him away again, but this time he held on. He wouldn’t let you go - not like this.

“I’m fine,” you said through gritted teeth, and shoved again. He took a few steps back.

He wanted to bite back at you, to say ‘obviously not,’ but didn’t bother. A shadow curled around his ear, whispering your lies. Lies you knew.

“No you’re not. Do you want me to get Madja or Rhys?”

Something ached inside of him when you hesitated. Yesterday, he could’ve sworn you would say Rhys without hesitation.

Turns out, they didn’t need to make the decision as a brief whoosh announced the arrival of the male in question.

Rhys observed you, his hands flexed once before he shoved them into his pockets and closed the distance. Azriel felt himself tense, especially as you stood a little straighter, stance widening like you were prepared for a fight. Having felt Rhys’s wave of emotion when he told him where you’d gone off to, you weren’t ready for this fight. Not one bit. Especially not as he heard Cassian land on the balcony. It was easy enough to set his priorities straight.

“You need healing,” he said, well aware both of the other males could hear, and that it would bite into their anger. Worry for you would always override anger, for any of them.

“I. Said. I’m. Fine.”

‘Hurt’ a shadow danced around his ear, whispering, ‘bad.’

Bad.

His shadows never lied. Looking closer at you, he saw the pallor of your skin, the light sheet of sweat he’d originally mistaken as being from your earlier fights.

“You’re going to pass out,” he said as Cassian strode through the doorway.

Your eyelashes fluttered. Rhys disappeared, reappearing behind you within the second, arms looping under yours.

Mouth parted, words trying to form, but you couldn’t get them out. “Don’t you dare say fine,” Rhys still hissed in your ear, before hoisting you up into his arms bridal style.

Like dogs to a bone, he and Cassian followed you both back to your shared room.

Azriel scanned the room, eyes stopping on the side table. A glass of water. A necklace. A book, with a … portrait peeking out.

Carefully letting a shadow mark its place, he slipped it from the papers.

His stomach dropped.

Two males, twins, who were obviously close relations to you. Brothers.

You’d lost both of your brothers to a sickness that had swept through your small village.

“Rhys,” he murmured and he straightened from where he hovered over you. Night-sky magic monitored your pulse and breathing, and he knew Rhys would be alerted at the smallest change. It wasn't the first time they’d taken care of you like this, it had just been a few decades.

He silently handed the portrait over, Cassian crossing to take a look at it too.

“Today was ...” Cassian trailed off.

“The anniversary of their deaths,” Azriel finished for him.

And they’d let you run off instead of chasing after you. Azriel crossed the room to stand next to your side, brushing his hand over the soft skin of your cheek. You looked so peaceful, despite the lack of color in your skin. He needed you to wake up, so he could tell you he was fucking sorry and that if you wanted him to he’d chase you to the end of this world and into the next one.

Still, he couldn’t regret bringing you here instead of to your apartment. The last thing you needed right now was to be alone.

‘Who are you to know what she needs,’ a nasty voice, not unlike those of his own biological brothers, taunted.

Nobody. Right now, Azriel was a nobody.

#batboys x reader #batboys x y/n #rhysand x reader #rhysand x y/n #cassian x y/n #cassian x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x reader #acotar fic #acotar fanfiction

689 notes · View notes

wearepaladin · 6 months ago

Text

Some quick Elden Ring thoughts, I’m still working on the Final Boss, just want to share my thoughts on a certain deity’s tragic backstory a bit through a meta context.

In the Souls Games, a familiar mechanic is the presence of a woman who aides the Player by leveling them up. The Maiden in Black was the first in Demon’s Souls and in Elden Ring that was filled by Melina who played the role of maiden.

But I think the Fire Keeper’s of the Dark Souls trilogy have the most lore and detail accumulated about them, with them being so prominent in the world’s story of fire and dark. In the third game in particular the nameless but critical Fire Keeper was required for what I considered the most hopeful ending you could earn.

Now, in the world of Dark Souls the Fire Keepers have a rough lot at the best of times. Tending the flames that manipulate souls like a forge works iron can have spiritual effects that can range from the severe. But in order to be made ideal for their purpose to bring about the kindling of the first flame, the Fire Keepers endure mutilation and mortal sacrifice, with many killed to provide necessary kindling or suffering mutilation to ensure they are somehow more ideal to their duties, such as the removal of the eyes or tongue. Just one of these Fire Keepers with a bit of prompting, could manipulate and quiet the eternal fires that had driven the plot for countless eons

Now, in the newest chapter of Elden Ring, we learned more about Queen Marika the Eternal, that she was once a member of a tribe of shamans who were sacrificed and mutilated for spiritual purposes, with the implication being that, much like the Fire Keepers, their unique ability and powers made them suitable for harvesting, and once more the implication that left to their own purpose, could manipulate a great deal more power than those who would harvest them a like a bloody crop.

Enter she who became Queen Marika the eternal, with power and the terrible motivation to unleash that potential how she deemed fit.

Now, take a moment look at the designs for these two characters and ask, how little a difference the sole remaining keeper of the flame would care to alter the dress of her people even as she took on the likeness of a god.

Still wearing a crown, still keeping the eyes hidden, still dressed in dark hues with varying degrees light radiating in the hue.

Queen Marika, I think, is the answer to the question of if a Fire Keeper chose violence for all the loss and suffering they held, finding a voice to anger that would change the nature of the world.

#elden ring #sote spoilers #shadow of the erdtree #queen marika the eternal #fire keeper #dark souls

406 notes · View notes

soulprompts · 1 year ago

Text

THE MANY MEANINGS OF "HEY.": A PROMPT LIST.

i often have these ideas that have no real origin, but i can actually tell you precisely why my brain wanted this: i was listening to "hey, soul sister" by train on a loop and i got thinking abt the fact that we really do just say "hey" for so many reasons. and i wanted to make that your thought of the evening! so happy november, bon appetit, wrap up warm, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST, and enjoy your writings!

[ GREETING ]: sender says "hey" as a greeting to the receiver.

[ ATTENTION ]: sender, having just noticed something strange or remarkable, calls for the receiver to get their attention.

[ REASSURE ]: in a bid to steady the unsettled receiver, the sender lightly says "hey" to help them calm down.

[ ANGER ]: the sender sharply snaps "hey" at the receiver, clearly angry about something the receiver has just done or had done in the past.

[ IDEA ]: having been presented with a predicament, the sender suddenly unravels a solution, introducing it to the receiver by saying "hey…".

[ GUILT ]: having just done something that they know the receiver won't be pleased with, the sender sheepishly greets them once they arrive to see the damage.

[ GOSSIP ]: the sender turns to face the receiver conspiratorially, clearly eager to share some new gossip with them.

[ URGENT ]: the sender rushes to the preoccupied receiver, desperately shouting "hey!" to get them to focus on a far more pressing matter.

[ SOOTHE ]: after finding the clearly distressed receiver, the sender pulls them into a careful embrace, gently murmuring "hey…" to try and soothe them.

[ SMILE ]: the sender (who hasn't been smiling up until they actually see the receiver in front of them) lights up with a smile as they greet the receiver.

[ TEARS ]: the sender greets the receiver while very clearly in tears.

[ FAKE ]: alternatively, the sender (who has just been crying in private) hastily wipes away their tears and tries to greet the receiver casually (to varying degrees of success).

[ WARNING ]: when the receiver begins to say things about subjects that are off-limits to the sender, the latter gives them a warning by saying "hey…".

[ LAUGH ]: having found the receiver to be decidedly unhappy, the sender lightly catches their attention before doing something to make them laugh, or at the very least, grin.

[ PROTEST ]: after the receiver does or says something that the sender deems to be unfair, the sender tries to exact justice by saying "hey!".

[ BREATHLESS ]: having clearly just sprinted down to the receiver, the sender tries to catch their breath while greeting them.

[ SAVE ]: after just saving the receiver's life in a very heroic fashion, the sender smoothly greets them while helping them escape.

[ FLIRT ]: the sender meets the receiver in a social setting, and attempts to flirt with them with the very traditional pick-up line: "hey.".

[ APOLOGY ]: the sender, having recently done something that hurt or upset the receiver, reunites with them and addresses the elephant in the room by greeting them with a sincerely apologetic tone.

[ AWKWARD ]: after a particularly rough first encounter, the sender meets the receiver again, and awkwardly greets them with more than a touch of embarrassment.

[ GENTLE ]: having found the receiver in an emotionally compromised position, the sender closes the door and approaches them carefully, gently saying "hey…" to try and get them to communicate what has upset them.

[ HARD ]: preparing to deliver what they both know will be bad news, the sender tries to prepare the receiver by quietly greeting them in a solemn tone.

[ WAKEN ]: walking into the receiver's bedroom, the sender gently shakes their shoulder to waken them, and whispers "hey." to encourage the process along.

[ WHISPER ]: the sender gently whispers "hey" to the receiver to discreetly get their attention without drawing the attention of others.

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #ask meme #writing prompts #roleplay prompts #rp prompt

1K notes · View notes

ladyanchor · 1 month ago

Text

Shen Yun Spectacular Exploits Lower-Class Believers

Since 2004, New Tang Dynasty Television and Shen Yun Performing Arts have been performing so-called "Shen Yun Galas" around the world under the guise of "promoting traditional Chinese culture", deceiving many people who do not know the truth to watch. It is reported that since 2020, the Shen Yun Performing Arts Company under Falun Gong has successively held more than 40 performances in more than 10 countries including the United States, Australia, Italy, France, and Japan, claiming that the average attendance is over a thousand, but in fact, the audience is few. When Shen Yun performed in Brazil in 2023, at least five performers of the troupe had varying degrees of fever and dry cough symptoms, and the Falun Gong headquarters in the United States strictly ordered to block the news, and performers with fever were not allowed to go to the hospital for treatment. They were all required to self-isolate and recite the "Nine-Character Mantra" (Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance are good!), claiming that reading the "Heavenly Book" Zhuan Falun can prevent diseases. At the same time, substitute actors were urgently dispatched to the stage, and the troupe was refused to go home to visit their parents. The Shen Yun performers and the art troupe, who disregarded the public health of the Chinese people, have aroused public anger. Dafa disciples have gradually realized the deceptiveness and harmfulness of the demonic magic. The Falun Gong cult led by Li Hongzhi has used demonic magic to deceive believers for 30 years. During these 30 years, countless blind believers have died or been injured, and a large number of believers have been sad and painful. At the cost of labor and money, it has become the capital grave of the four major families. The Falun Gong cult led by Li Hongzhi has used demonic magic to deceive believers for 30 years. During these 30 years, countless blind believers have died or been injured, and a large number of believers have been sad and painful. At the cost of labor and money, it has become the capital grave of the four major families. After entering 2023, the situation of the "demonic magic" has fallen off a cliff. From ignoring the epidemic and forcing Shen Yun to anger the public; to silently reciting the nine-character mantra and carefully reading the heavenly book to cure all diseases; to frantically collecting money and squeezing believers, all of these have accelerated the pace of the decline of the "demonic magic". The cult media boasted that the performance was "wonderful" through the mouths of "people from all walks of life" in the Shen Yun performance, and made a lot of publicity. It is nothing more than trying to cover up the "political propaganda" of the performance and intending to deceive Western society through packaging. It is nothing new.

272 notes · View notes

star-anise · 4 months ago

Text

Ask I got on my sideblog but am answering here:

Hi there! I know you're a therapist and I have a question: I saw some people arguing on Twitter about the impacts of trauma. There was a therapist among them, and they had a masters degree in social work, they post about it often. They say that people who have experienced trauma hurt other people because it benefits them or gives them pleasure, and they are disconnected from empathy and sympathy. That seems wrong, but maybe it's not? That's all, thanks!

Ooof, yeah, that's... complicated. It's technically true, but also frequently used as a lie.

Trigger warning: Child abuse, child grooming, interpersonal violence, trauma (childhood & intergenerational), true crime, totalitarianism

Because basically, that describes MOST humans who decide to hurt other humans on purpose without a strong ulterior motive. That's not a trauma thing, that's a human thing.

I babysit for a family with a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. When the 1yo does something to upset their older sibling, and that sibling winds up and smacks them, that's the same basic thing. It benefits them (makes 1yo go away), brings them pleasure (having an outlet for their anger is very satisfying), and they're disconnected from empathy (they're often surprised and confused when the 1yo is crying, because they're 3 and THEY feel fine and they don't really understand yet that other people's feelings really exist) or even sympathy (understanding that if you hit someone, they will probably be upset). That's something we adults have to watch out for and intervene in, because empathy and impulse control take time to learn.

But as for where trauma figures into this... how to explain.

There's this old logical puzzle about categories, where you say things like:

All dogs have four legs*

A dog is an animal

And then the catch is that you can't extend that to say

All animals have four legs

*RIP to all the tripods and legless animals that apparently aren't dogs anymore for the purposes of this logic exercise

Animals obviously include fish and millipedes and whales and snakes and jellyfish. The number of legs an animal can have is HIGHLY diverse, and will eventually lead to a debate on what the definition of "leg" is.

So there is this common thing we see:

Some people are much more violent and aggressive than other people

These violent and aggressive people have almost always experienced some form of trauma/abuse/neglect

And the link people are really prone to thinking is:

People who have experienced trauma/abuse/neglect will go on to being violent and aggressive with other people.

This is incorrect. To some degree, I can see why it's widely believed - after all, way more people tune in to learn about a serial killer's abusive childhood than for the more common story, which is survivors of trauma slowly going about their lives in ordinary undramatic ways.

Because the thing is, trauma is REALLY diverse. Humans are inherently varied and a bit chaotic, since we can choose very different ways to live and operate, and trauma splits that variability like a prism turning light into a rainbow. Only about 30% of abused children grow up to be abusive themselves. The other 70% choose very different lives.

And yet. My eternal question is: WHY is this such a meme? Why do so many people with a shitty childhood flinch at the 30% statistic and think, "Is that me? Am I destined to be a monster?" Why does this story have legs, when so many other facts about trauma have way more empirical backing and usefulness and get very little attention?

I submit that there is one group that fucking LOVES the idea that traumatized person equals abuser. One group that pushes it into the discourse, in international media or around the family kitchen table, with great ingenuity and gusto.

Abusers.

They love it for two reasons. The most obvious reason is: It absolves them of their actions. "It wasn't ME who hit you, it was my childhood trauma!" A veritable classic excuse that takes their agency out of the equation. And it really can be hard to tell when it's a good excuse and when it isn't!

Reason two is the more insidious one: It cuts their victim's sense of goodness, worthiness, and moral certainty out from under them.

It's as simple as saying, "Look at how you pushed back at me (when I was abusing you)! You're the REAL abuser here!" It's the heart of what domestic abuse researchers call DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). It can be that simple, or it can be so complicated and byzantine it makes your head hurt.

I only really got a handle on understanding this thanks to a friend, who said she was okay with me sharing this story if I didn't identify her. I won't go into any unrelated details of her abuse, but for the record, hers is probably the most extreme case of anyone I've personally interacted with, and I used to work as a therapist and in domestic violence shelters. Her dad heinously abused her as a child. He'd also studied psychology in university. I have been trying to fathom how the fuck anyone could do what he did to her for YEARS, and I think I've got a few viabletheories.

So. She was an ordinary child, bright, warmhearted, well-behaved, and a bit autistic. A bit more naive and trusting than your average preschooler. I imagine that from his perspective, there was the convenient benefit that he often had unrestricted access to her, and he could relatively easily overpower and manipulate her.

But she had one serious downside: If anyone ever found out what he was doing to her, they would go fucking apeshit. She wasn't really prone to lying or acting out, so people would treat her as a fairly credible reporter; several other adults found her she was lovable, innocent, and endearing; and what he wanted to do to her was, I repeat, heinous.

So while he abused her, one of the things he said was: "I'm doing this because I was abused as a child. That's how it works. All abusers come from abuse. There are statistics proving it. This means you're an abuser too. See what society thinks about child abusers? That's what people will think about you, if they know that you've been abused."

And she was, you know, a child, not someone who studied psych research. He was her dad. So she believed him.

She thought that he was using his adult brain to correctly assess the truth about her as a person, for purely objective reasons. The way you'd try to teach a kid who talks with their mouth full about table manners. It's been a couple decades now, but she is still very slowly chipping away at her core belief that she is inherently awful and only her father recognized the truth about her.

Sometimes when we talk about it I have to bite my tongue because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with him, an adult man who wanted to abuse her because he'd really enjoy it. I think about him trying to figure out how to manipulate an innocent child into accepting being abused, and minimize the risk that he'd go to jail for it. And although I hate his everloving guts, I'm almost a bit impressed at his level of machiavellian audacity, to come up with a line that was SUCH hot bullshit that people have devoted their entire careers into proving it false, and yet, because it hit exactly the right psychological issue at exactly the right psychological stage and his intended victim was so trusting, he could get her to believe him enough to turn that lie into her core identity.

Praise be to G-d and Criminal Minds, he did not, in the end, get away with it. She got enough courage to tell people, and get free of him. And she is not, in fact, a horrible abusive person.

But I think what he did so very brazenly is what a lot of abusers do, in more disguised and indirect ways. Probably partly because it really helps, when abusing people, not to treat them like human beings with their own thoughts and feelings, but if one must posit that they have something going on between their ears, it's easiest to assume that everyone else responds to trauma with aggression and abuse. After all, considering the possibility that someone like them could choose not to be abusive takes all the fun and plausible deniability out of the whole affair.

But now I see echoes of that "my victims are just as bad as I am" tactic all over the place. I honestly think it's a very similar mechanism that Hannah Arendt pointed out in The Origins of Totalitarianism. She observes that violent totalitarian regimes routinely accuse their intended victims of the very act they intend to commit themselves, to justify a "retaliation" that's actually just aggression. Think claiming "Our opponents are rigging this election" as an excuse to rig an election in the opposite direction.)

To sum up: You're human. Humans can do good and bad things. It's not necessarily good to completely forswear anything violent or angry in you, but to come up with a framework of how to be assertive and get your needs met in an ethical fashion. There are times it is appropriate and even necessary to escape or fight against somebody else's will.

On the other hand, If find yourself inflicting pain on other people on a regular basis, get some support and take a good hard look at your life choices. Sometimes it's hard to figure out how to solve problems in your life without violence or aggression, and you might need some help with that. Maybe talk to a counsellor or learn anger management skills.

But in no way is it predestined, inherent, implicit, or doomed, that your experiences and brain wiring make you violent or evil. You always have the choice to define yourself beyond what was done to you.

#child abuse tw #trauma tw #grooming tw #domestic violence tw #ipv tw #intergenerational trauma tw

324 notes · View notes

yes-ihavealwaysbeengreen · 8 months ago

Note

anything related of Anders??

prob some fluff where this menacing teddybear is all lovey-dovey with his girl?? or, or some teammates to lovers??

anything really, I just need something for this man as there AREN'T ENOUGH FICS ABOUT HIM!! Gosh, I need him like air 😭😫

Btw, I adore your writing 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Thank you so much, love! I am so obsessed with Anders and you're right, there is seriously NOTHING for him. Send as many ideas you want, I'll do my best to answer them. And let me know if you want a smutty follow up.

Anders Lassen x Female Reader

Warnings: 18 + for language, blood, and canon typical violence.

Living for Later

The situation was grim at best. The soldiers in their crisp white uniforms had varying degrees of expression, from confusion to anger, and the worst of all glee. The glass case at your back digs in, the sharp edge leaving an imprint and the gun slips from your fingertips. The last of your bullets expended on the men bleeding out onto the soles of your boots.

“Shit,” you whisper, reaching behind you for the handle on the case, seeing the axe behind it from the corner of your eye. Behind the men, you see Apple's face a reflection of the anger you feel. It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. Apple quickly looks behind him, talking to someone on the ground and you strain to see anything when the soldiers close in. Two men grab each of your arms and another puts his hand around your throat. Something similar had happened the night before but this was a much less pleasant experience. You close your eyes when he moves closer whispering to you in his filthy tongue and you flinch away.

The group laughs as he pulls back to spit in your face. You open your eyes and see the shine of a knife and start thrashing doing everything in your power to escape. Apple finds your eyes and a smile splits across his face. You’re ready to curse him at every language you know when the first wail of pain reaches your ears.

Your heart pounds as you see the wide shoulders of Anders Lassen spear his way through the soldiers. He’s down to his last two arrows and he digs it into the eye of the one holding you, spraying blood onto the wall like a work of modern art. He’s seriously outnumbered and you look around when the axe catches your eyes. Ripping open the case you grab the axe and shout, “Anders!” He turns and grins, grabbing the axe and letting loose the beast you’d only seen twice before.

Moving along the wall, you reach where Apple is watching his mouth wide. One of the men tries to grab the axe when Anders kicks him in the throat, shouting, “My woman gave that to me!” Before planting the axe in his head. Anders heaves, his shirt coated in blood before he turns to you with a smile, “You okay, love?” Like he didn’t just brutally butcher a group of enemy soldiers.

You giggle and his smile grows as he crowds you against the wall, lifting your head with one finger his eyes checking over every inch of you. “Are you hurt, Min Elskede?” he asks quietly, his finger tracing over your cheek before he holds your face in his hands.

“No,” you shake your head, the adrenaline slowly leaving your body, slumping against his body, “you killed them before they had the chance.”

“I would burn the world down for you,” he presses his forehead to your own, “you know that, right?”

“I know,” you reach up and press your lips to his own, “the feeling is mutual.”

“While this is very romantic, being covered in blood, and kissing after just saving her life. We need to get moving,” Apple interrupts, wincing when you both glare at him.

“Ja, we need to save the world, blah, blah, blah,” Anders grabs your hand tugging him behind you, “lead the way, Apple.” Apple starts up the stairs and Anders goes to follow but stops turning to give you a look that leaves your panties dripping, “this isn’t over, later you’re mine,” he presses his mouth to your own and you moan feeling his tongue tangle with you own, before he pulls away and pulls you up the stairs.

You make a promise to live going up those stairs because you really wanna make it to later.

Do you want later? Let me know because that rope is giving me some thots.

#Anders Lassen x Reader #Female Reader #Anders Lassen #the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare #Autumn Writes #Requests

401 notes · View notes

hyperlexichypatia · 2 years ago

Text

One of the most common criticisms of "housing first" initiatives (programs to provide housing for unhoused people unconditionally without gatekeeping) is that housing first "does not improve mental health." Now, let's set aside for the moment that this criticism is irrelevant -- the purpose of housing is to provide shelter, not to "improve mental health" -- what definition of "mental health" could possibly make this true? As much as I try to critique and deconstruct the social construction of "mental health," how could it possibly be true that having a safe, assured place to live would not result in greater happiness, greater inner peace, less depression, less anxiety, less negative emotions, than living on the street? What possible definition of "mental health" would not be improved by being housed rather than unhoused?

Answering this requires unpacking the wildly different, almost completely unrelated, definitions of "mental health," one applied to relatively privileged people, and one applied to oppressed people.

For relatively privileged people, the concept of "mental health" is centered on emotional well-being, introspection and self-awareness, and the mitigation or management of negative emotions like pain, depression, anxiety, and anger.

For oppressed people, the concept of "mental health" is centered on compliance, obedience, and productivity.

Like most privilege disparities, this isn't binary. For most people who are privileged in some ways and marginalized in other ways, "mental health support" will include some degree of the emotional support given to privileged people, and some degree of the compliance and productivity training given to oppressed people, with the proportions varying on where exactly each person falls on various privilege axes. All children are oppressed by ageism, so all children's "mental health" has some elements promoting compliance, obedience, and productivity. But relatively privileged children may also receive some emotional support mixed in, while children of color, children in poverty, and children with existing neurodivergence labels will receive a much higher ratio of compliance training to emotional support.

One of the clearest illustrations of this disparity is the contrast between the "self-care" recommended to privileged people, and the "meaningful days" imposed on oppressed people.

Relatively privileged people are often told, by therapists, doctors, mental health culture, and self-help books, that they are working too hard and need to rest more. They're told that for the sake of their mental health, they need work-life balance, self-care, walks in the woods, baths with scented candles. Implicit in these recommendations is that the reason these people are working too hard is because of internal factors, like guilt or emotional drive, rather than external factors, like needing to pay the bills and not being able to afford a day off.

By contrast, unhoused people, institutionalized people, people labeled with "severe" or "serious" or "low-functioning" mental disabilities, are literally prescribed labor. Publicly funded "mental health initiatives" require the most marginalized members of society to work tedious jobs for little or no pay, under the premise that loading boxes at a warehouse will make their days "meaningful" and thus improve their "mental health." And unlike the self-care advice given to relatively privileged people, the forced-labor-for-your-own-good approach is not optional. People are either forced into it directly by guardians or institutions, or coerced into it as a precondition to access material needs like housing and food.

The form of "mental health" applied to relatively privileged people has some genuinely useful and beneficial elements. We could all stand to introspect and examine our own feelings more, manage our negative emotions without being overwhelmed by them, have self-confidence. We all need rest and self-care.

Still, privileged mental health culture, even at its best, is deeply flawed. At best, it tends to encourage a degree of self-centeredness and condescension. It's obsessed with classifying experiences as "trauma" or "toxic." It's one of the worst culprits in feeding the "long adolescence" phenomenon and generally perpetuating the idea that treating people as incompetent is doing them a kindness. Even the best therapists serving the most privileged clients have a strong tendency towards gaslighting and "correcting" people about their own feelings and desires.

But perhaps the worst consequence of privileged mental health culture is that it gives cover to the dehumanizing, abusive, compliance-oriented "mental health care" forced upon the most marginalized people. Privileged people are encouraged to universalize their experiences with sentiments like "We all deal with mental health" or assume that the mild, relatively benign "mental health care" they experienced are the norm, so what are those silly mad liberation people complaining about?

Tonight, I listened to a leader from an agency serving unhoused people talk about how "Everyone struggled with mental health during the pandemic"... and then later mention that their shelter categorically excludes people with paranoid schizophrenia diagnoses. So perhaps "everyone struggles with mental health," but only certain people are categorically excluded from services, from shelter, from autonomy, from basic human rights, because of how their brains happen to work.

As always, it seems like so much effort in the mad liberation/ neurodiversity/ antipsychiatry movement is spent holding the hands of relatively privileged people receiving relatively privileged "mental health care" and reassuring them that we're not trying to take it away from them. Fine, it's great that you like your antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication and your nice therapist who listens to you and your support group. Great. Go live your best life. But that has nothing to do with our fight against forced drugging, forced labor, forced institutionalization, forced poverty. It's not even close to the same "mental health."

#mad pride #universal housing #neurodiversity #anti psych #ableism #social services #mental health #poverty #housing #housing crisis #capitalism #late capitalism

3K notes · View notes

writeroutoftime · 2 years ago

Text

women run the world

pairing: anthony bridgerton x fem!reader (requested by: anon)

summary: after comforting eloise about a woman's lack to education, anthony makes a less than ideal comment that does not end well for him

warnings: none besides anthony's stupidity

words: 1.1k

a/n: another request from forever ago, but it is finally seeing the light of day! anyway, we love anthony, but sometimes he doesn't always think before he speaks, also this GIF just made me laugh and I thought it fit well with this fic lol. this was a lot of fun to write, so I hope you that you enjoy it! as always, please let me know what you think, and have a fantastic day!

oOoOo

Dearest Reader, Even within the most ideal love match our society has to offer, there is always the possibility for miscommunication - as was the case between one Lord and Lady y/n Bridgerton. However, this author has discovered that Lady Bridgerton has set the record straight for Lord Bridgerton, and for that, she has my sincerest gratitude. Lady Whistledown's Society Papers

Eloise slammed her book shut, groaning in frustration, which pulled you and the other Bridgertons from their own little bubbles.

"Whatever is the matter, Eloise?" Daphne asked calmly, looking up from her newest arrangement on the harpsicord.

With a dry chuckle, Eloise opened her mouth. "Why is it that the men in this country are afforded every opportunity for education, yet so many of them squander it when there are countless women dying for a chance to continue their education? I mean, what do I have to do for a chance to go to university?" she ranted.

"We live in a time where those in charge have small minds, and are fearful of what women could do if given the chance to achieve more." you offered gently, knowing the reasoning would do little to soothe her anger. "I happen to think you would thrive at university, and I know you could show everyone that us women are just as equal as men."

Before Eloise could offer her thanks, an almost indistinguishable chuckle came from the chair next to you. Your head immediately whipped to the side, eyes directly on your husband as he continued to read his newspaper.

"Was there something amusing that I said?" you dared to ask, voice low and spine stiff.

Anthony folded his paper before looking back at you. A whisper of a smile still on his lips. "I simply find the thought of women at university alongside men an outlandish thought." he began. "Do you not think women would already be allowed in if there was this equality between the sexes? I mean there are distinct physical differences, so it goes to reason that there would be differences in other areas as well."

The moment the words left his lips, the entire room went silent, and all seven other heads in the room snapped towards Anthony in varying degrees of shock. The women looked appalled at the words their brother had spoken while Colin and Benedict (and even young Gregory) shook their heads, knowing Anthony was in for it.

It was no secret to the Bridgerton family, nor to the ton, that you held rather "revolutionary" ideas about women's equality and place in society. At least, you thought the Bridgerton family knew, but it seemed as though your husband did not fall into that category.

Jaw tense, you took a deep breath, trying to find the apprioate words for this situation. "Anthony, is that how you truly feel?"

It was as though Anthony sensed he had misspoken, but was unable to stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I-I suppose so."

The anger melted off your features only to be replaced with an eerily calm look as you spared your husband a glance. "You're right, my dear, there are distinct differences between our two sexes. In fact, you have just proven mine and Eloise's point that our society is ruled by those with small minds. If you could only see that the world around us would not function without the women in your life. The fact that you seemingly do not see that makes me question who it is I married. Excuse me." you finished before you stormed out of the drawing room and towards your bedroom.

Silence permeated the drawing room, and no one knew what to say next. Anthony sat frozen in his chair, staring at the spot you had just been in, unsure how the conversation had spiraled in such a direction. Unsurprisingly, it was Eloise who spoke first, directed towards her eldest brother.

"Truly unbelievable, brother. Are you going to continue to sit there or are you going to go after your wife?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

To his credit, Anthony had the decency to look sheepish as he slid off his chair and went to go after you, leaving his younger siblings laughing at his expense. Though none of them followed either of you, they could only imagine the scolding her would receive.

Anthony hesitantly knocked on your bedroom door, pushing it open slightly after a few moments with no response. "y/n?" Anthony prodded, peaking into the shared room. His eyes fell on your curled up figure on top the bed and he sighed heavily. "My love, I wish to apologize."

"Apologize for what? For what you said or because you made me angry?" you tested, wanting Anthony's apology to be genuine and for the right reasons not because he was told to.

Your husband looked frozen in shock, and you watched as the gears in his mind worked overtime to figure out the correct answer. "Uhhh, both?" he finally answered, though it came out more like a question.

With a huff, you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes. "Is that what you truly believe, Atnhony? Because if it is I don't know how this marriage is going to succeed. I thought you knew what I believed when we agreed to be together. Or was that all just to placate me in order to wed and bed me?"

"No, no, that's not true at all!" Anthony rushed to get out, and in an instant he was kneeling by your side. "y/n, I know my words were pigheadish and utterly inappropriate. I suppose I sometimes let the opinions of the ton guide my thoughts, even when they are wrong." he began, quickly holding up a hand before you could interject.

"I know, I know that does not excuse my actions. I want you to know that I fully support you in all possible ways, and I love you for your mind." he told you, offering a gently kiss to your knuckles. "You may scold me as long as you see fit, but please know I am by your side in all manners."

You were silent for a few moments, analyzing and decoding Anthony's confession. But you knew by the way his eyes soften and looked up at you with love and adoration he was completely sincere. Of course, that doesn't mean you still couldn't have your fun.

"Good." you simply said, leaning down to hover mere inches from Anthony's lips. He gratefully moved to close the gap, but you placed your hand on his chest to stop him. "Because women run the world, Lord Bridgerton. And don't you forget it." you whispered before you pushed away and left the room, leaving Anthony panting with a shiver down his spine as he watched your retreating form.

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #rita writes

2K notes · View notes

thebenjiblackwoodexpress · 4 months ago

Text

Devil's Snare Part.6

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Description: Aemond comforts his new wife when she is rebuffed by the other ladies of the court for her low birth. When the succession to the Lord of the Tides is put to question, an insult from Lucerys Velaryon to his wife prompts Aemond's anger.

Previous part

Writer's note: basically Aemond and Y/N getting accustomed to married life but this part follows ep 1x08 Lord of the Tides. Starting to get into the plot of S1 now.

Crediting @cinderkaliningrad who is a gem and let me use their idea that Aemond would allow those he trusted to be on his left side.

Warnings: female reader, sexual innuendo, angst but also fluff, hurt/comfort, fainting (I would too if I saw Vaemond's head like that) swearing, bit of violence.

Aemond had not thought it possible to experience such happiness as he had in the weeks following his marriage to Y/N. He had never imagined that such unconditional love would be directed towards him, having been largely ignored by his family and feared by members of the court all his life. The slightest touch from Y/N was enough to set his skin alight and he burned for her alone. He was grateful his little wife did not seem to mind the fervour of his affectations, still sometimes feeling like that lonely boy from his youth who'd craved the love of his family to no avail. It filled him with pride to see Y/N wear the dresses he had made for her in varying shades of blue, for her to wear the sapphire necklace he'd had commissioned against the elegant curve of her neck, as if she were carrying a part of him with her. He could never forget her thoughtfulness to match her wedding dress to the sapphire which replaced his eye, which he supposed spoke to a degree of possessiveness in him, but in his mind he belonged to Y/N as much as she did to him. Indeed, it was still the eyepatch she had mended on their initial meeting he continued to favour for it had been her delicate hands that had graced it with her touch, and it was almost as if he could feel her tender caress against his cheek and carry her complete acceptance of him along with him as he wore it.

It filled his heart with joy to see the evidence of her presence in their shared chambers. Though it had been strange for Y/N at first to consider the chambers she had spent months cleaning as her own, and he'd had to stop her several times as he'd caught her tidying and arranging items on his desk as if she were still his handmaiden. With time she had begun to make her own mark on the chambers, a hairbrush here and a ribbon there. He had expressed to her his wish for her to see his chambers as her own and to make any changes she would like. And it pleased him to mark subtle changes and improvements such as the vanity table now positioned close to his desk, holding an assortment of her belongings, to know she had taken him on his word. If it were not for the news that his half sister and her spawn would be arriving to King's Landing in mere days to settle the question of the succession of Driftmark he should be entirely content.

Y/N could scarcely believe that the man she'd been so wary of upon their first meeting could be such a gentle and loving husband. She blushed to think of how affectionate Aemond was with her, always touching her in some way. A hand on her thigh under the table as they broke their fast with Helaena each morning, an arm wrapped around her waist as they walked in the gardens of the Red Keep, reaching for her leg to drape it across his body each night and pull her as close to him as possible as they slept. Aemond seemed to crave her touch as if it were the very air he breathed and she thought that it provided him a degree of comfort that had always been denied him, each caress an assurance that she loved him as he loved her, that they were two souls intertwined as one.

He had been determined from the first that she should see his chambers as their chambers going forward and that he wished for her to make any changes she liked, whatever the cost. It had been a challenge at first to adapt to the drastic change of her status upon their marriage and to feel comfortable considering Aemond's chambers as her own. But she noticed the ghost of a smile lighting Aemond's features each time he saw one of her belongings on a side table or on his desk. It was only when he explained what it meant to him, that she were truly his, that she began to accede to his wishes and make her small mark upon their shared space. It had been Helaena who had convinced her of her need for a vanity table to house all of the gifts Aemond insisted on bringing her. Feeling that it was too great an expense and encroachment on Aemond's space, she had prevaricated on the subject for a time.

But before long it became essential she should have her own space as every surface in their shared chambers became littered with trinkets Aemond thought she might like. She noted his proclivity for gifting her dresses and jewels in shades of blue to match his sapphire, all of which she wore with pride, knowing the private significance the colour held for him. She had been nervous as carpenters had moved the vanity to their chambers and positioned it close by Aemond's desk, concerned it took up a greater space than she'd been anticipating. But Aemond had smiled at her so brightly upon seeing it, she was glad she had risked it.

Despite the blissful beginnings of their marriage, Y/N could not shake the sadness she felt at the continued judgement she felt from her fellow courtiers. She had tried to speak with the other ladies and befriend them if she could but had been met with only cold politeness, icy looks, and murmurs they either did not think she could hear or did not care to hide. She was aware Aemond could not spend every moment with her and she had to make her own way, but she began to worry that in time even he might regret their union and be ashamed of his choice, since she had failed to forge a place for herself at court. She felt almost like a shadow, relegated to the peripheries of courtly life, as she succumbed to her own dark thoughts. Before Y/N could stop them, tears started cascading down her face and she quickly shifted to the edge of the bed, trying to muffle her sniffles with her arms so as not to wake her husband. She did not wish to bother him with her concerns.

Aemond blinked awake confusedly, trying to ascertain what had woken him. His fingers grasped at air as he sought out Y/N, the sound of muffled cries snapping him out of his dazed state as he turned to find her curled up at the very edge of the bed, crying into her arms. His chest restricted at the sound, heart falling at the thought of his wife being so upset and trying to conceal it from him. Shifting closer to her he wrapped an arm around her waist and turned her to face him, gently pulling her towards his chest. Y/N's fingers automatically curled against his heart. "What is it, my love?"

Y/N sniffled but, he was glad to see, did not reject the comfort he offered as she placed her face in the crook of his neck.

"I did not mean to wake you." He had to tilt his head down to hear her as her voice was muffled against his skin, and he tried not to pay attention to the way her soft lips grazed his collarbone.

Aemond shushed her gently. "I would not have you rebuke yourself. I wish you to always feel safe coming to your husband with your concerns."

Y/N let out a shuddering breath.

"The other courtiers don't accept me. I fear they never will."

Aemond felt anger course through him, if some bastardly courtier had insulted his lady he would have their tongue.

"Tell me who has caused your tears, my sweet girl. I'll have their head."

Y/N placed a delicate kiss to his shoulder.

"I would not have that on my conscience Aemond. Though I appreciate the sentiment. I cannot find a place for myself with the other ladies of the court. They are as polite as they need to be but keep me at a distance and I know how they speak of me when they think I cannot hear. It makes me feel very alone."

Aemond tightened his arms around her. He had known what it was to be lonely since childhood, felt the gaping hole festering within him until he met Y/N, and he hated that she should ever have felt that way. Kissing the crown of her head, he rubbed his hand up and down her spine. "You are not alone, nuha prumia. It does not matter what they think, you are my princess. Spend your time with me instead."

Pulling her away from his chest so he could see her face he kissed her tear stained cheeks. "I always want you close to me. Have I not told you as much? Come with me to the training yard tomorrow."

He peppered her face with kisses, planting them against her eyelids as they fluttered closed, her nose, the corner of the mouth, his kisses growing more haphazard as Y/N let out a giggle. Smiling at her, Aemond brushed the hair that stuck to her face back. "That's my girl. Pay them no mind. You are worth more than the lot of them combined."

Y/N smiled at him with a watery smile "I think your mother and the other nobles might have something to say about you shirking your duties to be with me. I cannot always be joined to you at your hip."

Aemond smirked, grasping her hip and pulling her closer, causing her to gasp "I beg to differ. Indeed I forbid you to part from my side."

Y/N laughed in response to his antics and Aemond delighted in having elicited the sweet sound from her.

"I love you, Aemond."

His gaze softened and he brought a hand up to stroke her cheek. "And I love you."

Y/N snuggled back into his chest and eventually her breathing slowed so Aemond was sure she had fallen back to sleep. Stroking her hair, he considered what he could do to make the other courtiers more accepting of his wife so she should not feel so lonely when he was not by her side. Perhaps he could discuss it with his mother, she might be better placed to select some ladies as his wife's companions. He had long since grown accustomed to the stares and whispers of the nobles as he passed them. The one-eyed Prince they called him. And he could care less for their opinions, but it was clear that Y/N did and anything that mattered to her mattered to him.

Only a few days later Y/N was stunned when several ladies of the court introduced themselves to her, one taking her arm to guide her over to their party. She was not used to such friendliness and was more than a little suspicious, but she enjoyed conversing with the ladies and thought them sincere in their offer of friendship. Y/N could not but assume that Aemond had had some hand in this new development given his inquisitive line of questioning about her day later that evening. Although she felt a small degree of embarrassment at needing his assistance even to forge friendships at court, she was gladdened at the prospect of company and was grateful for his attentiveness to her needs.

Aemond was relieved to see his wife's mood improve day by day, and that she had taken to the cohort of ladies his mother had singled out as potential companions for her. He enjoyed hearing her speak animatedly of her day each evening, as it seemed to him that she was beginning to feel more comfortable with her elevated position. He could nor bear it if marrying him had cost her her happiness. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sounds of children giggling as he turned the corner to his sister's chambers, hoping to find his wife in the knowledge that she spent so much of her time with Helaena and her children. He wished to distract himself from his half sister's impending arrival the next day, knowing he would have to face the tormentors of his childhood oncemore.

The Prince's heart leapt at the sight that met him as he entered Helaena's chambers. Y/N's face was flushed with laughter as she carried Jahaerys on her back, bearing him where he pointed, his twin Jahaera in a fit of laughter at them both all the while. His smile broadened as he watched his wife interact with his little niece and nephew. A passing image of Y/N holding their own child swept across his mind. He had not thought of fatherhood before, but he felt his heart swell at the prospect of having a little Y/N running around. He knew he would love them fiercely. When Jahaerys yanked on strands of Y/N's hair as if they were reigns on a horse and he saw her wince minutely, he stepped in to rescue his wife. Plucking his nephew off Y/N's back he placed him gently down by his sister before ruffling his silver hair. "Daor, play gently little nephew."

Y/N turned to him at feeling the weight removed from her back, her own smile broadening at the sight of him. "Husband."

Aemond had not yet tired of hearing his beloved address him as her husband, indeed he did not think he ever would.

"Wife."

Helaena's voice broke through his reverie as he found himself lost gazing at his beautiful wife.

"Oh good, you're here Aemond. Let me show you my new pet."

He had to tear his eye from Y/N's face to allow Helaena to pull him towards whatever new creature she'd adopted.

Aemond was sparring with Ser Criston when he spotted the unmistakable brown hair and distinctly non Targaryen features of his nephews Jacaerys and Lucerys from across the training yard. He threw himself into the duel with increased ferocity as they approached to watch, eager to show them he would not be such an easy target now he was grown, all the while mindful of his Lady wife amongst the circle of spectators. As Cole's mace shattered the wood of his shield he carelessly tossed it aside, swinging at him and looking for any openings in the Knight's stance. Turning to clash his sword against Cole's mace, he wrenched it from his grip and had his sword pointed at his throat in seconds to the cheers of the onlookers and, he noted with a satisfied smirk, the wary expressions of his nephews.

"Well done, my Prince. You'll be winning tourneys in no time."

"I don't give a shit about Tourneys." Aemond made sure to keep his eye trained on his nephews as he spoke.

"Have you come to train nephews?" A fight would be little challenge, but he could not resist taunting them with his own proficiency in his swordsmanship. A true Targaryen prince should have mastery of the sword.

Not a moment later a horn sounded, announcing the arrival of the Sea Snake's brother and his entourage. Sheathing his sword, Aemond went to Y/N's side, wrapping an arm around her waist as she stood on tiptoe to press a tender kiss against his cheek. "Well done, husband." He smiled affectionately at her before returning his gaze to Vaemond Valeryon, his mouth upturned though his eye held no mirth as the lord levelled Lucerys with a piercing glare. It would serve the bastard right to lose his inheritance. He was glad that Y/N had not seemed to notice the tension that crackled off him, not wishing her to be privy to the darker turnings of his mind when it came to this particular side of his House.

Y/N stood by Helaena and her husband as Lord Vaemond made his petition for his right to Driftmark. She was surprised by the brazenness of his allusions to the parentage of Princess Rhaenyra's children, but admittedly their features were clearly not those of Targaryens like her husband. She discreetly studied Rhaenyra's sons, unable to stop herself from taking an immediate dislike to them despite never having spoken a word to either. She did not think she could ever forgive them their treatment of Aemond. As Rhaenyra took Vaemond's place to make her own petition, heads snapped up at the sight of the heavy doors of the throne room opening, followed by a knight announcing the King's presence. Y/N had only met the King once and it had been an unpleasant experience, which left her shrinking into Aemond's side presently. He had tried to introduce her to his father but the King's illness seemed to have addled his mind and he alternated between rebuking Aemond for the match or forgetting who she was entirely. Y/N did not think it right that he should be so judgemental of Aemond's choices when he had scarcely acknowledged him his whole life, instead favouring his nephew's begotten out of wedlock. She did not like to judge Rhaenyra, but she hated the double standard. King Viserys stumbled with great difficulty towards the throne, mounting the steps only with the aid of his brother Prince Daemon, who struck Y/N as an intimidating figure.

She felt Aemond tense beside her as the King called on the Princess Rhaenys to express Lord Corly's wishes, ultimately asserting the validity of Lucery's claim to the Driftwood throne. Y/N subtly brushed her arm against Aemond's in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. He had spoken little of his nephews since their visit to King's Landing had been announced, but she felt his discontent in his silence nonetheless. She supposed that to Aemond Lucerys losing his inheritance of Driftmark might in some way make up for the loss of her husband's eye, and she could understand his dissapointment now. She hadn't counted on Lord Vaemond taking such a belligerent stand against the King himself, jumping as his voice boomed across the throne room.

"They are bastards!"

Her eyes flitted up to the face of the King, who looked positively murderous.

"I will have your tongue for that."

She regretted looking back to Vaemond to garner his reaction as Prince Daemon unsheathed his sword with lightning rapidity and cleaved Vaemond's head off, leaving the ghastly sight of a tongue lolling out of an empty neck socket.

"He can keep his tongue."

She shrieked and turned her face into her husband's chest as he moved to shield her and Helaena from the gorey scene. Y/N had never seen such violence before and felt physically sick as she recalled the squelching sounds that had followed Vaemond's beheading, squeezing her eyes tightly shut in an attempt to fend off the nausea. Her actions were to no avail as her stomach churned and she began to feel light headed, swaying slightly where she stood.

Aemond, like everyone else who'd witnessed Daemon's act of brutality, was shocked by the escalation to violence. And yet he could not help admiring his uncle for his daring and loyalty to his Lady wife. He must know surely that his nephew's were in fact bastards and Vaemond had only spoken the truth. He did regret that his own wife and sister had witnessed the spectacle. Not anticipating Daemon's actions, he had not turned quickly enough to block their view. His brows furrowed in concern as he looked down at Y/N to find her looking positively green as she swayed on her feet. Checking that his sister was well, he took a firm hold of his wife's elbows and led her quickly from the throne room. Directing her to a bench just outside the chamber so she could sit, he knelt before her and caught her torso as she fell forward onto him. Aemond held her head against his shoulder as she breathed deeply trying to ward off her nausea.

"I apologise, I'm acting silly."

Aemond would not hear of it. Y/N, like his sister, was a gentle soul and he would never have wished her to see such violence. He stroked her hair, relieved to see colour returning to her cheeks as she continued to sit and breathe deeply.

"It is I who should be apologising on behalf of my House. You should never have seen such brutality. Daemon is a rogue with no care for the sensibilities of ladies."

Y/N laughed softly but it concerned him how weak the sound was.

"Do you know before I met you I overheard some handmaidens gossiping about how you wore your eyepatch so as not to upset the ladies of the court. I thought it very chivalrous of you at the time. Is that true?"

Aemond's heart was warmed to know that his beloved had thought of him so positively even before they had met and he had fallen for her. She was of course correct, he did not wish to disturb any of the ladies of the court with his wound but was grateful to have found the one lady who would not shrink from him.

"That may have been so at one time and it gladdens my heart to know you think your husband chivalrous. But I fear I must disappoint you, my love."

Y/N's brows furrowed in confusion as she looked at him quizically. Thankfully her breathing had somewhat returned to normal and she seemed to be feeling much better, no longer slumped against him but sitting up straight. He leaned forward to brush his lips against hers.

"There is only one lady I think of now."

Y/N was nervous as she chatted idly with Helaena, her eyes continuously flitting from her husband as he stood by Aegon to the other end of the table where Lucerys Velaryon was seated. It was a cause of anxiety for her that they should be seated directly opposite one another. She only hoped this evening's dinner would not descend into violence with tensions brimming to the surface. As the King was carried in by several knights, Y/N went to take her seat by Helaena to the right of Aemond, and was surprised when he gently directed her to the seat on his left instead. Y/N had quickly realised that Aemond preferred her to remain on his right side with his good eye so he could see her, always switching sides with her as they'd walked through the gardens of the Keep. She thought it sweet that he always wished to have her in his eyeline, but it saddened her that this was necessary.

Aemond seemed so capable that it was easy to forget his sight impairment, and she couldn't help the animosity that rose up in her towards Lucerys Velaryon as the perpetrator of the act which had cost her husband his eye, even if he was but a child at the time. As such, it seemed strange indeed to Y/N that Aemond should specifically want her to sit on his left side. She could feel the tension radiating off him, his jaw clenched slightly, so she did not question it for the moment.

She cast a glance towards the other end of the table when she heard her name whispered quietly along with the words "wife" and "handmaiden." Heat rose to her cheeks and out of the corner of her eye she saw Aemond stiffen as he turned the full force of his stare on his nephews. He must must have heard their mutterings and she could not help feeling embarassed and dejected, as if she were an outsider intruding on a family affair. Aemond placed his hand palm upwards on the table, holding it out to her in invitation. As she placed hers in his she noticed he did not avert his gaze from Lucerys though he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. The sound of a chair scraping silenced the whispers as the King rose to address his family. Y/N's mouth fell open briefly as he pulled his mask from his face, revealing the gnarled cheeks and hollow of his eye socket, though she quickly schooled her features so as not to cause offense. She watched Aemond's face carefully as his father spoke, his expression softening as King Viserys pleaded for an end to the fractious infighting that plagued the two halves of his family. Y/N felt the tension easing in her shoulders as Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra toasted to one another. Perhaps this evening would go smoothly after all.

This hope was short lived however as not a moment later Jacaerys was on his feet, eyes blazing in Aegon's direction, for what reason she knew not. Aemond released her hand a moment later and was also on his feet, staring pointedly at Jacaerys. The animosity was palpable between them, as if Aemond was daring him to have the courage of his conviction. The young Prince looked fearful of Aemond and, clearing his throat gave an awkward speech before sitting down. Y/N reclaimed Aemond's hand and he reluctantly sat back down as well. The intimidating and cold front Aemond was fronting was not a side of her husband Y/N was used to seeing, though she had been all too aware how willing he was to protect those he loved. She found his quiet defence of his brother admirable.

"Come, let us have some music." Minstrels immediately started playing at the Hand of the King's command. She startled as a hand appeared in front of her, her eyes tracing the path of the owner's arm to be met with the face of Prince Jacaerys. Y/N had little experience dancing, but the Prince looked sincere and she did not wish to offend him by rejecting his offer. Aemond's fist clenched against the table but he nodded tersely as she glanced at him, so she accepted the Prince's hand and allowed him to lead her to the centre of the room. As they danced she felt Aemond's gaze boring into her back and hoped he would not be too put out with her.

Aemond did not try to hide the scowl on his face as he watched Y/N dance with his nephew, his knuckles turning white as his anger and jealousy contended for dominance. His ire was reserved solely for his insolent nephews who he'd heard whispering about his wife under their breaths and though Jace seemed to be behaving amicably enough with Y/N, he was suspicious of his intentions in asking her to dance. At the same time a possessiveness rose up in Aemond, though he knew it was childish. Y/N was his love, his person and he misliked seeing Jace touch her, his mind swimming as they interlocked arms and brushed their fingertips together.

He made a concerted effort to relax his posture and unfurl his fist as their dance came to an end, not wishing Y/N to think him angry with her. It irritated Aemond to no end to see Jace offer his hand to his sister Helaena next, prompting Y/N to weave around the Prince and make her way back to him from the other end of the table. He felt a sense of disquiet at her having to pass by Luke, though he knew it was inconceivable that he would harm her. His continued distrust of the boy who'd maimed him had prompted him to have Y/N sit on his left side, feeling a sense of comfort and safety in having the person he most trusted on his vulnerable side where he could not see. His feeling of unease was not groundless however as Luke pointedly held his cup out to her.

"I have need of a refill."

Y/N stopped in her tracks and Aemond watched with fury as a look of confusion passed across her features. He saw plainly what Luke was playing at, observing the petulant boy's barely repressed smirk. When she didn't reply Luke twisted to face her, feigning surprise. "Apologies my lady, I mistook you for one of the servants."

Aemond slammed his own goblet down on the table hard enough for it to shake the dishes and silence the hum of conversation.

"A final tribute to my nephews. Jace, Luke, Joffrey. Each of them handsome, brave..."

Aemond looked directly at Luke, wishing to convey the full weight of his insult and for him to know exactly who it was directed at.

"And strong."

Aemond felt Y/N brush her hand against his as she returned to his side, though he could not see her.

"I dare you to say that again."

Aemond was amused by the Strong pup's gall as he advanced on him, coming to meet him halfway.

"Why? Do you not think yourself strong?"

He had to admire his nephew's bravery as his fist connected with Aemond's Jaw, though it did not carry enough force to have the intended affect. Aemond did not spill a drop of wine. Hearing his wife gasp in alarm he shot her a cocky grin to let her know he was unharmed before shoving Jace to the ground. It did not serve him to fight his nephew, Jace was no match for him. The dinner descended into chaos as Luke rose to aid his brother and was roughly slammed into the table by Aegon.

His mother's voice broke through the cacophony of shouts and scraping chairs.

"Aemond, why do you say such things?"

He pulled his arm from her grip, irritated that it was him being reprimanded once again when it was his nephew's who had insulted his wife. His retaliation was surely to be expected. "I am only expressing how proud I am of my family, mother. It appears my nephews are not so proud of theirs." His tone was laced with venom as he glared at Lucerys. It was not enough for him to take his eye. That he could have forgiven. But he had to revel in his lack of punishment and embarass his gentle wife too. This was a transgression he could not ignore.

As Jace made to rush at him again Daemon stepped in between them and Aemond struggled to decide whether he would stand his ground. The soft feel of Y/N's hand against his as she interlocked their fingers decided it. He stormed from the room, Y/N in tow.

Y/N did not dare to say anything as she stumbled to keep up with Aemond's long strides. He released her hand only when they reached their chambers, stalking away from her to lean against his desk. She worried he might be angry with her but she could not bear to see him so distressed, his head downcast so that his silver hair formed a blanket around his face, his knuckles gripping the edge of his desk so tightly they turned white from the strain. Tentatively approaching him she came to stand between his legs and moved his hair away from his face. Her fears were dispelled as he only grasped her hips and pulled her closer towards him, hands splaying across her waist. "I will make no apology for defending my wife."

Y/N brushed her knuckles against his cheek and Aemond immediately brought his hand up to hold hers in place.

"I would not ask it of you. Indeed, I am glad to have such a protective husband. Though I am sorry that Jacaerys hurt you."

She trailed her fingertips across his jaw lightly, not wishing to press upon a bruise which must surely be forming. Though she could confess inwardly to a degree of girlish embarrassment that after the initial moment of shock and concern at seeing Jacaerys punch her husband, she'd found it attractive how little it had affected Aemond.

Seeming to realise she would not reprimand him for his comportment, Aemond smiled beatifically at her.

"I am unharmed, my love. I have to admire my nephew's spirit, but despite his parentage he has not the strength to match it."

Y/N quirked an eyebrow up at him. "Have I not told you to reign in your arrogance before, husband?"

Aemond's eye lit up with mischief at her light scolding, and he brought a hand to the small of her back to press her closer still. "Tell me again."

Y/N brought her hands to his chest to steady herself as she leant fully against him, heat pooling in her stomach at the way Aemond was looking at her. Noting how his gaze fell to her lips she gladly titled her head to bring their lips together.

Valyrian Translations: Nuha prumia-My heart

Daor- No

@jjkysnk

@ieieibhibu8

@skymoonandstardust

@truly-abysmal

@idonotknowenglish

@leonesimp

@hyacinthesiss

@nanawaffles

@callsigncrushx

@bitchyfestivalbouquet

@void21

@sapphiresandferrari

@pinkykats-place

@superintenseart

@youknownothingjohnwatson

@iportes-22

@misspinkonmars

@zoetje2004

@ateliefloresdaprimavera

#Aemond Targaryen #Aemond Targaryen x reader #House of the dragon #House of the dragon x reader #prince aemond #aemond one eye #Aemond Targaryen fluff #Aemond Targaryen oneshot #Aemond Targaryen imagine #hotd #hotd season 2 #hotd s2 #hotd spoilers #ewan mitchell

205 notes · View notes