#(who is ALWAYS on her 'we should never sexualize people for doing their (not inherently sexual) jobs' bullshit)

[its-all-papaya]

was just reading a fic that made me think about the fact that i work daily with athletes in a sport where ice baths are very extremely common, and i am just now imagining what would happen if i was ever like 'hey guys, we're sending cameras with you today!' like. it's insane that f1 teams just do that.

[cowboy-heart]

'interview with a butch' - a fake interview reflecting on butch-femme dynamics! inspired by the amazing piece by @llovely, which you can read here :)

(ID below read more)

[an original, interview-style poem called 'interview with a butch':

when did you know you were butch? I knew by the time I was sixteen, but that’s only when I found the word. I’ve been butch since the day I was born, at least since I was just a few months old and threw an earth-shattering tantrum whenever my mum tried to put me in a dress. (both laugh) your poor mum!

I remember being a little butch knight, chivalrous even before I was double digits. my best friend only lived up the road from school, but her parents were running late and she was scared to do it herself. so I walked her up the hill, her arm linked in mine, pride balancing on my chest. and when I got her to her door, I said that we should kiss like adults do when they say goodbye, and we took it in turns to kiss each other on each cheek. when I walked home I felt something the size of a boulder in my stomach, but I didn’t know what it meant yet, just that there was something about myself that set me apart.

how did you feel with your first femme? oh, man, even for a writer that’s hard to find the words for. (laugh) let’s put it this way: before I had my first femme, I always felt like something was missing in my relationships – not just in the relationship itself, but in me. I felt broken and wrong, unsatisfied and selfish. I thought that maybe I just had too high expectations or something. hell, even with sex I felt like something was missing, like I couldn’t find my own desire.

But then, then I had my first femme. How graphic can I be here? (laugh) as graphic as you want! okay, good!

watching my stomach hang over my harness, long nails in my hips, I felt like I had a second sexual awakening. I felt the most present in my body I’d ever been, and like I could be in them forever. I didn’t feel dissatisfied, or wrong. when their hand held mine and played with my fingers I felt lightning shoot through me. it was like realising I was a lesbian all over again. but even outside of romance, femmes are my friends, my family, my community. talking to femmes, being around femmes, I’ve never felt so seen and loved. I can handle every sharp look, every slur thrown my way, just because my armour was polished by femmes.

do you find your roles restrictive? they’re liberating. I think sometimes people see me and think that I had to fit into this constrictive box, that I disallowed myself to enjoy anything feminine. the reality is that for butches, we find the word we’ve been searching for our whole lives. I can’t even remember finding the word, isn’t that crazy? it felt second nature. it somehow perfectly described everything I’d ever felt, exposed me to a community of people who were just like me outside of my Tory town! (pause)

I think there’s a tendency even in leftist, LGBT spaces to think that masculinity is oppressive, and femininity is liberating and oppressed. but it’s really not like that. we’re punished for deviating from our assigned gender, whether you’re a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or something in between the two. I’ve had gay men try to convince me to let them do my makeup, I’ve had gay women tell me that they’re “so glad” I don’t have ‘toxic masculinity’ like “other butches”. femininity was a cage for me, something I had to imitate to survive the perils of high school, but it was never me. masculinity liberated me, and it’s not inherently toxic. I love to carry the bags, hold open the doors, cry in pride, protect those I love. and there’s nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a sweet femme, ready to rub my tired muscles. man, I’m not good at concise answers, am I? (both laugh) no, but I love it!

what do you think of people who see your relationship as heteronormative? they’re twats! (both laugh) now, that’s a concise answer! no, no that’s not fair. here’s what I’d say to them:

I see it as…a complex gender performance. no, that makes it sound like it’s play pretend. they’re complex gender…expressions, dynamics, play, desire, euphoria. a butch and a femme together is no more heterosexual than a bear and a twink, a top and a bottom. it’s a dance that we know in our bones, like we knew each other in a previous lifetime and we’re just falling back into our favoured rhythm. even every fumble and awkward gesture is a part of it. we fall into sync and into each other, we tenderise each other’s gender, affirm it, and love every minute of it. we’re not two sides of the same coin, you talk to any butch-femme couple and chances are our priori (edit: interviewee meant propositions) are the same but our conclusions are not; we’re the same side of the same coin, just one is the top of the tail and the other is the bottom of it. is that a euphemism? (laugh) take it as you will!

I’m no man, my femme is no woman, and I’m no less butch when I’m wearing a kiss-the-cook apron and cleaning their kitchen, and they’re no less femme when they’re putting together a shelf or driving me to work. To look at us and see a heteronormative imitation of cisgender predetermination is proof of their own lack of nuance – do you think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, too? (both laugh)

I think in a lot of ways, butch-femme dynamics are inherently transsexual. or, in the very least, good friends of transgenderism. If you can’t see us for what we are then chances are you’ve got your own internalised gender biases to unlearn.

I’ve always been butch to my bones, but when I’m with my baby I’m on cloud nine. I feel desired, my gender revered and loved.

so, what you’re saying is, you feel seen? I do. we see each other and nurture each other. I’ve never really liked being called ‘beautiful’, but when it falls from the lips of a femme, I know that they’re not seeing me as feminine. I feel most comfortable to explore the depths of both my femininity and masculinity with them; I don’t feel restricted to a role.

maybe that’s what people are missing about it: our homes are temples of gender exploration and devotion.

end ID].

[strawbeerossi]

Only Friends

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You and Spencer are best friends who act like anything but.

Content/Warnings: Oblivious mutual pining, kissing, lap sitting, teasing friends, cute little love confession at the end.

Word Count: 1.3K

Anon Request: hiii oki req (if u want pls take ur time) i think this is prob OOC butttttt spence + reader being in love and they don’t even realize it but they still kiss/ cuddle when they hang out and stuff and just say “we’re really close is all” “best friends kiss!” and stuff..

Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request

🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie

Affection in friendships aren’t always the same. Some friends hugged, some friends rarely talked yet maintained a healthy friendship, some friends even showed the smallest bit of intimacy due to their comfortability.

You and Spencer were just a tad different. You two would cuddle, share brief pecks on the lips, as well as sometimes shower together whenever you were in a rush on a case and got a brief break.

It wasn’t anything inherently romantic or sexual, just something that came easy. The team was highly convinced you both had a secret relationship. Which was fair enough, however no matter how many explanations, they never seemed to be enough.

Tonight the team was having a small watch party for a new show at Penelope’s apartment. She’d been so desperate for the team to have something like a show they watched together, or special games to play together. Nobody could really say no.

You had arrived with a handful of snacks just an hour prior, helping one of your favorite coworkers set up her apartment for the night ahead. As expected, it turned from you helping to the bubbly blonde interrogating you over the aspect of a potential relationship.

“We aren’t dating, Pen.” Your head shook as you were filling a bowl with pretzels, taking it to the table in order to place it in the available space surrounded by other snacks. “I saw you guys kiss before you left the office yesterday! What kind of friends kiss each other on the lips?? If this is normal, we need to make Derek aware because I am missing out.” Penelope huffed out of frustration. “Mark my words, I will get to the bottom of this. When I find out that you are secretly dating, I will bring all of the hurt!” The blonde held up her fist while narrowing her eyes in your direction.

By the grace of all things holy, it wasn’t long until the team had slowly begun to show up. There were no more interrogations, not yet anyway. As everyone was piling up on the couch, there was very limited room for you as you walked out of the kitchen. “Fuck.” You groaned, arms crossed. “I am not sitting on the floor!”

“You can sit with me.” Spencer spoke up from his spot at the far end of the couch, his shoulders shrugging as his hand patted his thighs to offer you the spot in his lap. “Come on! This is a family friendly show! None of that.” Emily groaned, which had you rolling your eyes as you were heading over to sit yourself on your best friend’s lap.

“It’s not a big deal.” You protested her dramatics while your body was leaning into Spencer’s chest, your body snuggling closer to his as the show began at its scheduled time. However instead of enjoying the programme, you were too busy ignoring all the curious stares from your friends. “Come on!” You huffed while pushing yourself to sit up. “What is the big deal? You’re all staring like we are animals in a zoo.” In all honesty, you were annoyed with the way people stared. You were friends, doing platonic things.

“Look. Kid, I hate to say it but you two are definitely a little too close for what friends should be. What kind of friends do you know that kiss each other? And yes, I know, they are pecks. I’m just saying.” Derek put his hands up as he broke the silence.

“It’s not a crime to have a crush on one another or to date one another.” JJ added soon after while letting her shoulders shrug. “We aren’t dating though.” Spencer confirmed everything you’ve been preaching while looking at the group in confusion. “Spencer, you haven’t eaten any snacks tonight because all of our hands have been in the bowl. It makes no sense to me that you’d kiss her considering the mouth has like a bajillion germs.” Penelope added.

“Well, the mouth has over a billion different germs and we don’t know the exact amount.” He corrected as he looked up at you for help. “I assumed we were normal?” He spoke up while you nodded in agreement. “I thought we were, too.” You huffed while leaning against his chest.

“It’s not even the hugging, kissing, and lap sitting. You guys just look so head over heels from an outside perspective. I mean, you hang out together all the time, you always room together, plus you guys go out on dates. You may not look at it that way but come on. You are both profilers. How do you not pick up on how you feel about one another?” Emily asked while frowning softly.

The more they were talking and giving actual points, the more you were thinking over the course of your friendship with Spencer. You’d always been close, even after your first initial meeting when you joined the team. You could remember how shocked the team was because the typically quiet and socially awkward genius was the first one to welcome you. You’d managed to become close friends over the course of two weeks. The first time Spencer even hugged you was after a case where he’d been put in harm's way. He came to you for comfort. You.

The first time you started your pecks on the lips, it was due to a complete accident when you tried to kiss his cheek but his head turned to face you. It just seemed.. Right. No matter how flustered you both were or how you felt butterflies in your belly, you just dismissed it. You being lost in thought was concerning enough for Spencer. “Hey. Do you wanna step outside?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your head nodding. “Yeah, please head out with me.”

He helped you to your feet before his hand was gently holding yours, leading you out of the room.

“How much do you wanna bet that they are gonna actually kiss out there?” Aaron spoke up after being silent a majority of the night, the team turning to the unit chief who normally wouldn’t have inserted himself. “I’ll take those odds,” Derek smirked while getting his wallet.

Out in the hallway, you had your arms crossed as you looked away from Spencer. “I know that we are best friends and I promise you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I just really want you to tell me one thing,” You spoke while turning your head back to face him. “Did you ever, at any point, have feelings for me? Be honest.”

The words had Spencer’s face bright red, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve always thought you were amazing.” He spoke while offering a shy smile. “I just didn’t want things to get weird. I like our friendship and the relationship that we have isn’t something that could be ruined. Dating friends can get messy and.. I don’t wanna live a life without you in it. I can’t even fathom a reality where you aren’t here.” He responded.

“So you did?”

“Y-yeah. I just didn’t want-”

Your hands were gripping his upper arms while you were gently shaking him. “Why didn’t you say anything?!” You asked while staring at him with wide eyes. “I’ve always been fond of you!” You added, his surprised look making you laugh softly. “God. How are we profilers?”

“You know, I’m not so sure. I think we are rusty.” Spencer responded, a little chuckle leaving his lips. “So.. Is there a chance? You know.. Us?” He asked softly while you nodded. “I do think there’s a good chance.” You responded while Spencer sighed in relief. “So it won’t be weird if I do this.”

“Do what?”

His hands were gently cupping your cheeks, taking every opportunity to press his lips against yours, much different than you were both used to but it carried the same feeling as all the little pecks have all this time. It was right. Like you were meant to be together.

“I’m pretty sure they are running bets. Do we tell them we kissed or pretend like nothing happened?”

“I want Derek to lose his money in that scenario, so let’s not tell them yet.” Spencer chuckled.

[jespy-wespy]

The sexualization and mischaracterization of queer (relation)ships: Arcane edition

In a relationship between 2 people of the same gender one does not need to present more masculine/feminine than the other. They do not need to fit into the category of one being purely dominant over the other. This is something I think Arcane has done really well. But just because the show did good, does not mean the fans will.

Something I have noticed within fan art+fiction is the feminization and weakness of Caitlyn. I scroll through Tumblr and pass image and image of Caitvi art where Vi is hugging Caitlyn, taking the lead, being the "dominant one". Vi has her arms, very large, with defined muscles, wrapped around Caitlyn's skinny ones, which have no muscle definition. Caitlyn is drawn with softer, more femmine features, given a shorter stature than Vi, and is usually pictured in the purple camisole she wore once.

This is simply not who either of them are.

In Arcane, Caitlyn is defined by being a powerful sharp shooter. Later by being a ruthless cop, a brutal dictator, and a powerful warrior, even with out a gun. We see her training with Ambessa, while not holding the same level of skill, Caitlyn is able to physically hold her own. Caitlyn has never been shown as weak. She has never been someone to need or ask for protection. She can barely if ever be considered a femme, if people really feel the need to stick some meaningless sub title on her.

Vi is very emotional, she feels deeply. Even though she is this tough pit fighter, she holds a heavy heart, and this is shown throughout Arcane. Vi, repeatedly through the show, has been vulnerable in front of Caitlyn, both physically and emotionally. We see her cry out for her sister, injured, and in need of help through multiple acts and I believe that should make more of an impression on fans.

Sadly it is not surprising fans have taken this approach to their ship. The need for one lesbian to be more masculine than the other is something that people cannot seem to get out of their head. Caitlyn has certainly taken the brunt of the mischaracterization, since she is the one interpreted as "more femmine".

These misinterpretations of their characters are based in misogyny, homophobia, and sexualization. Plenty of the people doing this simply cannot conceptualize a relationship where the characters are not some form of man and woman. Lesbians can never just be 2 women, they have always been expected to present themselves as "almost straight". This form of mischaracterization is typically done by straight people who often don't realize they are contributing to a harmful stereotype.

Sexualization comes into play because girls liking girls simply cannot be talked about without somebody bringing up sex. Lesbianism is not inherently sexual, but is inherently sexualized. This type is (obviously) from mostly men who see lesbians as nothing more than a way to get off, though its not only from them.

Queer relationships are often sexualized within the community by pushing strict top/bottom and dom/sub standards onto characters and even real people. Similar to how some people can't comprehend a relationship that isn't of the opposite genders, some people can't imagine a relationship where the sexual roles aren't just as strict. These expectations are also rooted in misogyny and is mostly just the progression of gender roles into other aspects of queer relationships. Vi is usually pushed as the top, as the dominant one, simply because she is also perceived as the man. In real life, gay relationships and sex aren't about who is going to be doing the work, but instead about mutual love and mutual doing.

I wanted to also bring up Jayce and Viktor in this post but a lot of their perceived dynamic isn't simply just gender roles. The mischaracterization of their ship lies heavily in the fact of Victor being disabled and therefore "the weak one". Viktor being oppressed in their world while people ignore how their perception of Jayce is altered by the fact that he is an oppressed minority in ours. I just don't think I can apply their ship to only the issues I brought up previously and instead, they need their own discussion.

I will also specify, there is nothing wrong with seeing Caitlyn as the bottom in their relationship, there is nothing wrong with wanting to draw Vi with bigger muscles than what she has in the show. It's simply important to understand that this expectation and wanting of them is not an original thought, and is often caused by the misogyny that has seeped into every part of our world without our knowledge, including the brains of queer people.

[sabrinathepolytheist]

In Defense of Aphrodite! - A Devotional Work!

Hello all, this is a thing I wrote a while back, but now that I have a blog, I figured I would share it! I get so annoyed by people giving Aphrodite flak and dishonoring her by the words they say. While I understand that most of these individuals are not pagans, or even Hellenist for that matter, I still think it is disrespectful. For those of you who are not Hellenist out there or worshipers of Aphrodite, please understand that she is a goddess, and that there are people who do honor and respect her. So, if you are a non-pagan and you put yourself in the shoes of an Aphrodite worshiper for a moment, you would see why we are annoyed, and quite frankly why we are angry about the recent trends spreading about our goddess on TikTok.

In Defense of Aphrodite:

What this post will cover:

What she is not!

How she shows love!

How she shows beauty!

She extends herself far beyond just love and beauty!

She is a mother figure!

She is not a monster!

What she is not!

People, pagans included seem to shun Aphrodite. They mock her and belittle her. They assume that because in myth she is portrayed as jealous, sadistic, and uptight, that it must be relative to her true nature. However, this is not, and never was the case. Aphrodite is not a monster; she doesn't "curse women who are compared to her in beauty". She definitely doesn't "take away your beauty if you ignore her". She is totally not the "whore" that modern media has reduced her to. She most certainly is not an advocate for the lesser-known toxic femininity that people often cast her with, otherwise known as a diva. She is SO much more than what people see!

How she shows love!

If you would just get to know her, and begin to be one within her bliss, she will show you her truly loving, caring, compassionate, patient, and unconditional nature. This is when you begin to love her as she loves you. When you get to know Aphrodite you see that there is more to life than just slugging through pay-check after pay-check, that there is more to life than what the media will advertise to you, that life itself is beautiful. Life is her gift to us, and thus we should cherish this gift. She animates our soul, and fills us with wonder, and amazement to explore the world, and to explore life with curiosity. Life is such a special and sacred thing. She cried for Adonis when he perished, but this is not just her sadness for the death of her mortal lover, this is the sadness that she feels when each and every one of us dies! That is how much she truly loves us! She cherishes every waking second she gets with us before it's our time to go. She is love incarnate!

How she shows beauty!

Aphrodite can teach us one major thing about beauty, that is, that it is subjective. Beauty is, and always has been in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is not the caked-up face that society has forced upon most women, true beauty comes naturally. You are already SO beautiful and you don't even know it. Beauty is not reserved for celebrities, or models. Beauty is not the stereotypical body standard that plagues society these days. Beauty is for all! Men, and women alike can rejoice, and appreciate the beauty in themselves, and in our world! There is beauty in us, in the rustling of the trees on a windy day, within the hearts of the ducks swimming gracefully upon the pond, within the eyes of any living creature. Aphrodite is beauty incarnate! If you just look for her, she is everywhere!

She extends herself far beyond just love and beauty!

Aphrodite is the goddess of all love and beauty, but she is SO much more than that. She is also the goddess of pleasure, passion, romance, and desire - none of which are inherently sexual in nature but can very well be sexual in nature if one wishes. she is the goddess of the self; self-love, self-care, self-adoration, self-confidence, even self-discipline - the list goes on. She is the goddess of the heart and is a heart healer. You can vent your sorrows to her, and she will listen, and she will guide you to healing. She will speak to you, be it in your subconscious, or in your heart itself, she will heal your sorrows and your pain.

She is a mother figure!

Aphrodite is a mother too, and if you are one who has a not-so-great mortal mother, Aphrodite will take you into her arms, and openly accept you as her own child - though you are not her blood born child, and most certainly are not a demi-god - she will still take you as her own, especially those who lacked the parental love they needed in childhood. She loves her children very much and will do anything in her power to protect them. If Eros is anything to look at in myth, she doesn't let him get away with Psyche so easily, and I feel that as a mother, she was just trying to better understand Psyche before letting Eros pursue her fully. She wouldn't want anyone to hurt Eros. She gives this same loving motherly protection to all her children. She loves us so very much!

She is not a monster!

As we can see, Aphrodite is not a monster, she is not the vile goddess myth portrays her as. She is lovely in nature to say the very least about her character. She loves all, and wants us to realize that beauty is subjective, and that everyone holds their own beauty inside and out. I pray that Aphrodite blesses and protects each and every person who reads this! <3

[acesartemis]

yearning (g, Eddie pov, buddietommy)

my take on a queer/asexual/questioning eddie

“Eddie, I want you to do a little research” —

Eddie bit his lip to contain his groan at the word ‘research’. He had come to have the kneejerk reaction to it due to Buck’s insistent need to research everything. It was endearing, don't get him wrong, but he could easily get tired of the yapping.

—“on the orientation of Asexuality,” Frank suggested close to the end of Eddie’s therapy session. “Maybe its romantic counterpart of aromanticism, too, wouldn’t hurt. Whom you are attracted to does not garner the same amount of distress in you as much as the how.  I think the asexual spectrum may be of comfort to you, considering what we’ve discussed previously of your views towards sex and dating feeling like you have to perform in those situations.

“Unfortunately, I cannot—and I would not—tell you what you should identify as, but I feel like, even if you’re not asexual, learning that it is a possibility may help you feel more settled. Furthermore, it may open the door to more exploration if you so choose. Once you have a baseline of information, we can discuss further, if needed, at the next session. ‘Sound good?”

At Eddie’s overwhelmed look, Frank gave a tiny chuckle. “Here, I’ll write it down so it's easier to remember for you.” 

Eddie took the paper from the therapist and gave him a hearty handshake. “I will. Thanks again, man.”

—♠—

The paper sat on his bedside table for three and a half days until a restless and hot night after a whirlwind of saving people from themselves and other members of humanity left Eddie unable to get comfortable enough to sleep.

With a sigh, Eddie reached for the paper, illuminated red by his alarm clock, and his phone. Might as well do some reading at 3:37 in the morning.

“Asexuality,” Google read, “is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or the low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.”

Well, what a loaded definition.

Eddie’s head thunked against his headboard, dropping his phone to his chest as he stared at the ceiling. Yes, he’s described dating and sex as feeling like a performance. With Shannon, it was his first real relationship, them being so young. The Church and his culture told him to be a man he needed to find himself a good woman and only bed her after they were married. That was fine with him. But the act itself felt gross that first night. The noises, the sweat, the skin to skin contact, and the dirty talk always felt so awkward to him. And he hated the anxiety of making sure she felt good, that she was always satisfied. Eddie could stick his gloved hands in bloodied flesh all day long, but the thought of reaching into a woman just to find a bunch of nerves—no.

Then Shannon got pregnant, their marital-duty fulfilled, and Eddie found his out in the military where he went years without having sex, and truthfully didn't think much of it at all.

But touching he missed. And kissing. He could never get enough. The closeness, the intimacy, the soft caresses, the security of having someone or being in someone’s arms… His soul craved for it when he was gone. 

Hmm, maybe the doc was on to something.

But what really caught his attention was queerplatonic relationships: a type of relationship, most commonly non-romantic, where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.

Well, damn, that was him and Buck to a tee. Buck, whose attention he sought out, whose comfort he craved (even more so than Shannon, truly), who had wormed his way into the fabric of Eddie’s life to the point that he felt secure in leaving Christopher to in the event of his death.

And Buck, whom Christopher had attached himself to like a leech moreso than any other partner Eddie has had.

But was what he felt for Buck considered romantic? True, Eddie had craved to press his lips against Buck’s after the tsunami, and the lightning, but was that inherently romantic? Who could say. For right now though, queerplatonic partners had a nice ring to it. He would ask Frank at their next session.

—♠—

Then Tommy flew into the picture and Buck was suddenly bisexual and what Eddie had wanted to label their relationship all went up in smoke.

“What Buck feels does not negate what you do.” Frank’s advice rolled around his head for days. “And you don't know what he truly feels until you ask.”

Eddie truly couldn't blame the guy. Eddie wasn't sure what his attraction level was yet, having settled on calling himself merely queer for now and quite possibly never having a specific answer was quite alright with him, but he had to admit that Tommy was an Adonis of a guy. The envy of straight and queer men alike, for their respective reasons. And Tommy was the epitome of cool. Flying his new friends to Vegas in a helicopter? Strong, intelligent, and witty? He understood the baggage Eddie carried of misogyny and the military. His arms were big enough to envelop anyone, making them feel absolutely safe and secure.

Eddie hadn't felt that way with another person since Buck.

Oh, shit.

—♠—

During a frantic phone call during a break in the activity of Eddie's work day, Frank said, “Eddie, yes, it is okay to feel like this with more than one person. You’re friends with more than one person, right? And we all have different needs that can't always be met by the same person.”

—♠—

Eddie’s stomach was in knots. He made uncharacteristic mistakes on calls to the point where Hen decided to body-check him out of the way while looking after a patient and it was obvious Buck noticed. Of course Buck noticed. And Tommy too, as Eddie fiddled with his wine glass the next time the trio had gathered at Tommy’s to watch a fight on ESPN.

“Spill it,” Tommy softly demanded, reaching over to rescue the fragile glass from his fingers.

“Yeah, you’ve been off," Buck agreed. His lips turned down in a worried frown. "Is it us? We have both been extra careful not to make you uncomfortable—”

Eddie groaned. “Buck, no. It definitely is not you guys. Well, it is, but not the way you’re thinking.”

“You can tell us anything, you know. This is all a whirlwind to us too,” Tommy assured and Eddie just yearned.

That's what it was. It all finally clicked in his brain. Eddie was yearning. He already had Buck and knew he always would, but he yearned for more. Tommy made Buck so happy in a way Eddie could not. And while that didn't truly matter to him, he was developing the feeling of being the outsider looking in.

“Eddie?” Buck urged so carefully, so softly, like he was terrified.

“I want—” Eddie breathed, clearing the lump of anticipation and anxiety from his throat. “I yearn for… both of you. I… relish in your hugs and touches, and I want… more. I’ve been talking to Frank and I know I'm not bisexual in the traditional sense, and I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum but I don't care. I just know deep in my bones that I want you. Both of you, in my life forever. To talk to, to cry and laugh with, to take care of my son with. To have and to hold and to kiss… but nothing sexual.”

“So like we’re already doing, but with more of this?” 

Eddie’s breath hitched as Tommy’s warm hand encircled his wrist. He gave a small tug and Eddie complied eagerly as the man wrapped his arms around him and tucked Eddie against his chest. His breath tickled his ear as he pressed chapped lips to his temple.

Eddie’s heart felt like it were to explode.

A small whine fell from Buck’s lips. “Don't leave me out!”

Eddie chuckled as he and Tommy opened opposite arms to make room for Buck, quickly bracketing the man into their shared embrace. “Aw yes. Lifetime achievement unlocked!”

“You’re a dork, Buck.”

“But you love it.”

“So this is good?” Tommy asked, locking eyes with Eddie and giving a soft but pointed look. Buck would roll with anything, they both knew, but Tommy had the experience to know he needed to step lightly with this. 

“Yes, it and you.” Eddie aimed to brush a kiss to Buck’s cheek but was surprised to find Buck's lips instead, the attacker giggling as they separated. Eddie then turned his head to kiss the underside of Tommy’s jaw, ensuring the older man didn’t feel left out either.

Eddie gave him a firm nod, and delighted when Tommy brushed their lips together for the first time. The kiss was feather light but it made Eddie see stars anyway.

Eddie didn't care what he was. He loved Buck and Tommy and they loved him back and that's all that mattered to him.

[saintsenara]

What do you think about Tom Riddle Sr?And your thoughts on Tom Riddle Sr/Merope Gaunt as a ship? I read some of your answers on Merope Gaunt and I just adore your fic 'Enchanter's Nightshade'. I was curious as to what your thoughts are on his canon character, the way that he is treated in fanon and if you have any headcanons on his character

thank you very much for the asks, pal - and i'm sorry that i'd entirely forgotten that i had an answer for the first sitting in my drafts until the second arrived in my inbox...

[thank you also for the very kind shoutout to enchanter's nightshade!]

and i find tom sr. extremely interesting as a character, and he's someone i think quite a lot of compelling stuff can be done with in fanfiction - particularly in how fic writers can take a sledgehammer to how he's treated by the canon narrative...

which - of course - means that there is a trigger warning for a discussion of rape in what follows, which is under the cut.

tom and merope

it's worth starting by emphasising that the series never thinks of tom sr. as a victim. it treats love potions as benign and broadly amusing [the only time we ever see someone under the influence of one - ron in half-blood prince - it's played for laughs], describes merope's drugging of tom sr. as something she would consider "romantic", and never acknowledges that she was his rapist.

[although it is important to point out that the fanon that voldemort's issues with love come from the circumstances of his conception is something jkr never said. and i also think that it's important, when thinking about tom and merope's relationship, to recognise that all the evidence of canon is that she is subjected to incestuous sexual violence at the hands of her brother and/or father - she is an abused teenager with no meaningful understanding of consent or bodily autonomy, and she evidently views her "relationship", as she sees it, with tom as a means of escaping a life which is undeniable, unrelenting misery.]

[which is to say - i find tom and merope interesting as a pairing because of this inherent nuance, tragedy and violence.]

the series also criticises tom sr. for leaving the relationship - in line both with its broader disdain for absent fathers and idealisation of devoted mothers, and with its prioritisation of love-as-suffering and love-as-sacrifice over forms of love which are more self-indulgent. its view is evidently that tom sr. should have gritted his teeth and remained in merope's life in some way or another [maybe not as her husband, but also not as her survivor] in order to have been involved in his son's life.

indeed, it always stands out to me that - when discussing tom sr. fleeing his abusive relationship - dumbledore refers to merope as "merope riddle". emphasising that the two were married underscores the fact that the text views tom sr. as straightforwardly unadmirable - a husband and father who abandoned his family.

[and he gets his comeuppance. i think it's worth noting that the narrative isn't sympathetic at all about his death - the opening chapter of goblet of fire, where voldemort's murder of the riddles is described, states plainly that nobody likes them - and he finds himself unable to outrun the son he left behind when that son uses his bones in his resurrection ritual... the subtext is clear: abandoning your son was the wrong move, and since good people - like james and lily - don't abandon their son even after their deaths, tom sr. is therefore a bad person.]

that both dumbledore and harry see him like this makes sense within their watsonian characterisations. harry has - as he says when lupin tries to walk out on the pregnant tonks - the view that parents should never abandon their children unless they have literally no choice, which is a perfectly understandable opinion for an orphan who lost their parents in such traumatic circumstances to hold [he also takes a very dim view on merope for dying]. dumbledore, who recognises the dangerous paths overwhelming desire can lead one down, sees himself in merope, and is therefore less willing to examine the cruelty of her actions.

voldemort also thinks of him in this vein - his view of his father, expressed during his resurrection scene in goblet of fire, is that he abandoned merope [with whom he had a consensual relationship] in a fit of pique when she confessed to him that she was a witch. voldemort thinks of his father as a deadbeat who left him to rot - and the series never takes issue with him holding this view, even as it works to prove many of the other things he believes about himself, magic, and power wrong.

tom and voldemort

the role tom sr. plays in voldemort's narrative arc, then, is pretty much unconnected to his experiences at merope's hands - he is not considered by the text to be a warning about the corrosive, oppressive, violent potential of using magic against muggles which voldemort follows his mother in doing, for example.

his role in his son's arc across the seven-book canon is to underscore that voldemort will never successfully outrun his muggle heritage - the fact that his son has his face and his name [and the fact that dumbledore, and then harry, insist on using this name for him after voldemort sheds it, which is - and we should call it what it is, especially given jkr's stance on such things - deadnaming] serves as a way for the text to criticise and humiliate voldemort, undermining his belief that he's something pure and special [and undermining his pride in his descent from slytherin] by making clear that, when all is said and done, he's just an ordinary man with a muggle father.

and so his death occurs purely to enable this narrative treatment of voldemort. he has to kill his dad - because he's trying to eradicate anything muggle from himself - and so the action becomes all about him. tom is basically just there.

but this is something i really like playing with in my own work. i always end up writing tom sr. as not only physically resembling his son - except for the fact, and i'll die on the hill that this is the canon text's intention, that voldemort has his mother's eyes - but as being the source of his mannerisms and many of his non-childhood-trauma-induced personality traits.

partially this is because i think we might as well take the series' belief that voldemort can't escape the riddle genes and go the whole hog with it.

but it's also because i think it's worth skewering the series' view of voldemort's slytherin heritage as - essentially - dooming him to be incapable of change in either positive or negative directions. the way the gaunts are described in canon - violent, unstable, grandiose etc. - is set up to suggest that voldemort gets these aspects of his personality from them, that - like the parseltongue - being a terrorist with delusions of grandeur is just something the heirs of slytherin are bound to inherit.

but i like idea of these traits coming from the less mystical branch of voldemort's lineage - and his decision to indulge them being nothing more than deliberate choice.

tom riddle sr. character notes and headcanons

which leads us to the question of what tom sr. is like as a character separate from merope and voldemort.

we only see him once in canon - where he's talking in a carrying voice to cecilia about how much land his dad owns and correctly identifying morfin as a danger to society - and he's only mentioned a handful more times: his whirlwind marriage; his return home a few months later, which he explains as him having realised he'd been "hoodwinked"; the fact that he's considered even worse than his "rich, snobbish, and rude" parents by the villagers of little hangleton in the period immediately before his death; and that he dies in his evening clothes with a look of pure terror on his face.

his gravestone in the goblet of fire film has him born in 1905, and i like this [although i push his date of birth back a couple of years in order for him to have finished university when he's attacked by merope] because it enables him to be a stereotypical "bright young thing" - the sort of dissolute aristocrat, untroubled both by his father's victorian morals and by the devastating impact of the first world war on men a decade or so older than him, whose exploits dominate our image of the roaring twenties [or - at least - the roaring twenties in britain]. at the start of 1925, before his life all goes wrong, i like him as idle, profligate, bohemian, constantly partying, a keen user of cocaine, promiscuous, vain, and incredibly rude to his servants, tradesmen, and policemen and so on - spending his days in a whirlwind of hangovers, tennis, elaborate fancy-dress balls, modern novels, dining at his club, and piles of liberated flappers, vile bodies [and jeeves and wooster...] style.

and i do think the idea of him as lazy, convinced of his own brilliance, and complacent [personality traits not helped by an education at eton and oxford - he takes a fourth, the lowest-possible passing classification, on a degree in greats - which he has neither the intellect nor the work ethic to succeed at without the power of daddy's money] offers a really interesting side to him being preyed on by merope.

i like him as someone who thinks of himself as rational, cheerfully irreligious, and far too modern and well-bred to waste his time on the silly superstitions of the boring, ordinary people in the village. him mentioning to cecilia about the stories the villagers tell about morfin can be read as him being condescendingly amused by local folklore surrounding the gaunts - a sort of "would you believe it, one of our gardeners is convinced they're wizards! too, too funny!" vibe - and i really like writing him as someone whose total rejection of the possibility of magic and conviction that the gaunts are just pitiable and disgusting, rather than dangerous [the view of the rest of the village], means that when merope offers him a glass of shimmering water he thinks "why, what a lark!" instead of running.

when he returns home, however, i imagine him as profoundly changed - paranoid, beset by nightmares, increasingly superstitious [voldemort's own rather... catholic leanings being mirrored in his father going full sebastian flyte is delicious to me], unwilling to eat or drink anything he hasn't seen prepared [one of the reasons, perhaps, why the servants at the riddle house dislike him so much], unable to go anywhere near the stables and see the horse he was riding when evil befell him, unwilling to talk to anyone or receive visitors [hence his reputation for being snobbish and rude - the villagers interpret this as him thinking them beneath him], unwilling to spend money or give gifts because he's afraid of unwittingly finding himself ensnared again [giving him a reputation for being rather miserly], and so on.

i like the idea of him becoming incredibly reclusive, losing his interest in the social life he once enjoyed overnight, and spending his days sleeping poorly and staying inside. i imagine his parents being supportive to the best of their ability, but that tom's inability to speak openly what happened to him [he, like his son, doesn't like doctors because he fears they will accuse him of being mad] means they can only do so much. their understanding of tom's marriage is the same as the rest of the village's - that tom consensually slept with merope, she told him she was pregnant, he "did the right thing" and married her, and he then discovered she was lying.

[he knows - of course - that she was pregnant, and he is convinced in his bones that the child will one day find and destroy him...]

tom's obvious post-traumatic stress disorder would undoubtedly have been enough to exempt him from conscription when the second world war broke out - although, of course, his medical unfitness wouldn't have been described in these terms.

and i think it's really interesting to consider how this would be received in the village - especially since the riddles would have gone out of their way to conceal his mental state from the public [hence their performance of the rituals of aristocratic life - including taking their dinner in full evening dress - even after he comes home a changed man]. i really like the idea of the general view being that - unlike the ordinary, hard-working men of little hangleton - tom managed to buy his way out of service [not only in the army but also on the home front], and that, to be quite honest, it was no wonder wounded war-hero frank bryce snapped and killed him.

which is a nice segue into the fact that frank bryce/tom riddle sr. is a concept i've recently become completely convinced by. frank staying in the riddle house after he's eliminated as a suspect in the riddles' deaths is something i find really quite moving - not only because of what it says about the disconnect between the historical memory many brits have of the war and the war's reality that a disabled veteran would find himself with nowhere else to go, but because it must indicate a genuine affection for the riddles which nobody else shared. the garden bringing some comfort to tom sr. on his worst days triggering a solemn, steadfast love for him in frank [requited or not] which endured past his death really compels me.

[and i also think that frank having some deeper connection with tom sr. - rather than just being his gardener - provides a more satisfactory explanation for why voldemort uses him as a horcrux murder than we get in canon. voldemort seeing - in his father's mind or frank's - that the two were entangled in some way would only increase his fury that tom sr. abandoned him and his mother...]

i'm also hugely convinced by the potential of shipping tom sr. with dumbledore. i don't particularly like stories in which voldemort is collected from the orphanage and raised by his father - firstly, because most of the things i find interesting about him are so heavily rooted in his orphanhood, and secondly, because i think that tom sr.'s move would be to place his son as the ward of someone he felt certain he could pay to keep quiet rather than bringing him up himself. but i can see dumbledore becoming aware of a magical child lurking in a london orphanage years earlier than in canon, having some sort of misguided belief that he should track down said child's family, turning up on the doorstep of the riddle house with a sinister toddler glowering in his arms, and insinuating himself into tom sr.'s life in a way which is either very funny or very dark.

cecilia is also an incidental character i'm unjustifiably obsessed with. i like her as tom's casual girlfriend in 1925 - with neither of them imagining for a second that the relationship will ever be serious - who then turns into the only friend from his glamorous set who remains in contact with him when he comes home.

and - i'm afraid to say - the plot-bunny of cecilia deciding to try and unravel the mystery of what's made tom so ill and scouring london orphanages until she discovers tom jr. has now bounced into my head... joining the other tom sr. fic i would pay cash to see, a rebecca-style caper where the second mrs riddle is haunted everywhere she goes by the spectre of merope...

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

[lost-in-frog-land]

Want and desire in the hatchetfield series, and how it almost always directly leads to a character's demise. Buckle in for this long post because I have been thinking about it for a while

THE GUY WHO DIDN'T LIKE MUSICALS

Established individual desires for the characters tend to lead them to take actions or make mistakes that lead to their demise.

Paul - doesn't want anything, until he wants to be with Emma -> if he'd just gone with General Macnamara he would've gotten out alive but he went back for Emma. Then he died. Then everyone died.

Emma - wants to get out of hatchetfield/ not die in hatchetfield -> gets out, ends up helping the infection spread to clivesdale (this one's more irony than causation but it still counts)

Bill - "I just want my daughter back" -> goes to rescue Alice which leads to his death

Ted - wants to get out alive, even at the cost if his friends ("everyone else died just rescue me") -> runs straight into the infected army and dies

Charlotte - wants to reconnect with Sam -> is easily manipulated by him when he's infected and dies

Professor Hidgens - wants his musical to be real, possibly also wants to reconnect with his old college friends (depending on how we interpret his show) -> purposely leads the infected to his location and gets killed

BLACK FRIDAY

characters individual wants and goals are often intertwined with the common want of gaining a wiggly doll, and this is what leads to their downfall

Lex - wants to escape her life and move to California -> wants a wiggly doll to sell -> leads her and Hannah to get caught up in the cult and Lex to almost die, even asking on her deathbed "should I never have wanted?" (The answer is yes. You shouldn't have. Wanting in hatchetfield only leads to suffering)

Tom - wants to reconnect with his son -> wants a wiggly doll because he believes his son wants one -> gets stuck in the mall looking for one and goes insane for a good portion of the musical

Becky - Becky wants a doll for the children's hospital but that actually isn't what leads to her getting caught up in the plot. It's her desire to reconnect with Tom that leads her to follow him deeper into the mall, because he won't leave without a Wiggly and she won't leave without him

Linda - wants to be worshipped / adored -> easily taken in by wiley and convinced to start the cult, dies as a result

Ethan - wants to make Lex happy -> dies protecting Hannah

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

Steph & Pete - doing them together because it's their love and want for each other that is almost their undoing. "I never wanted you anyway" "what do you want Steph?" "We want what you really want" - they almost have to kill the other because they wanted eachother. That's how the Lords get you.

Grace - wanted to rid herself of "sin" (normak sexual desires) -> tried way too hard to get rid of Max and, as a result "ruined [everyone's] lives". This also leads to her gaining the powers of the LIB and killing many more people.

Richie - wanted friends, to be accepted -> as soon as he gets this he is killed. More of the tragedy inherent in almost getting what you wanted than it inherently causing it, but this is also a key theme in the tragedy of hatcehtfield, as also seen with...

Ruth - wanted to perform, to overcome her anxiety -> also gets killed as she takes a step in this

The tragedy of the hatchetfield series is all about the idea of wanting. It's about how your desires can lead to your destruction, and how you'll never be able to truly get what you want before it is taken away from you. Its about peoole who will do anything to achieve their desires, and people who will never achieve theirs. That's the tragedy and the driving force behind these stories. That is what gives the Lords in Black their power.

[livingthedragonlife]

if you feel comfortable, could you talk about your experience with wanting romantic relationships but not experiencing romantic attraction? what does it feel like to not experience romantic attraction? no worries at all if you just want to delete this question !!!

well see, that's an interesting question. how do i describe a lack of something? how do i explain what it feels like to not feel something? i don't know how romantic attraction feels, so i'm not sure if i can explain it to you in a way that makes sense. i'll try though?

i don't fall in love. the things i experienced that i assumed were "crushes" didn't have anything to do with dates, or marriage, or imagining a future together. it's not to say that i didn't care about them, but it was all very... vaguely defined. i would think "wow this person is so pretty we should kiss" with absolutely no thought to what a "relationship" with that person would actually entail. i just didn't even consider it. i think it's partly why long-distance relationships have worked so well for me lmao

despite that, i still enjoy being close to people. i care about my partners a lot and i want them to be happy. when they can visit me, i enjoy going out and doing activities together, but in the same way i would enjoy going out with a friend or a group of friends. i'm equally happy in both situations, i love when my partners can meet my friends, and we all do things together.

i've struggled for years to try and separate my platonic feelings from my romantic feelings, and what i discovered is that there is no separation. i feel absolutely no distinction between them, which i've been told is not how it works for other people. my gf tells me there are some things she absolutely would never do with her friends, because she's not romantically attracted to them, which doesn't make any sense to me at all. like, why not? what's the difference? i never understood that, because there is no line.

one thing that i just recently figured out, and was the reason for a lot of what i thought were "crushes", is that when i feel very close to someone, i want to open up about sex and sexuality and my sex life. it's where my brain goes from "confirmed friends with a person" as the "next step" of intimacy. i don't even necessarily want to have sex with them (although sex with friends is awesome), but i imagine it's what being alloromantic is like? when you talk to your friends about dating and love life and stuff? i want to talk about sex because it's the next level of intimacy for me, the thing i want to use to invite people deeper into my life. society assumes that sex = romance, that if you want one you must want the other, and i confused myself A LOT.

and i've always loved romance novels. i've written and read plenty of romantic stories, original and fanwork. i find romantic relationships compelling because of the inherent messiness of entwining your life with another person or people. intimacy is vulnerable and cathartic and allows you to be yourself with someone else who has the same freedom. i don't believe that i need to be able to feel romance to reach that level of intimacy with someone, so i enjoy being in relationships that allow me to reach a deeper understanding of myself and others. being polyamorous and a relationship anarchist also helps me craft relationships the way they work for ME, not whatever society says they should be

wow this got long. i hope it makes sense?

[weirdestcornelius]

Considering recent events and posts I'd like to point out that this is supposed to be constructive criticism. Not bullying. Not anything else.

I don't try to "criticize" things Kc cannot control, such as the fandom. That whole Party discourse thing? That was me criticizing the fandom. Kittycorn squeakself has never made or alluded to any toxic ships. It was moreso me just being angry at the fandom for shipping a therapist with their clients AND ignoring Party's sexuality considering he's gay/achillean from what I've been informed. It was not an attack towards the ZCP or Kittycorn because they genuinely couldn't control these things if they TRIED. If anything, it's the fandoms fault for it.

I know that this comic is meant to be comforting for kit. The only things I've given constructive criticism for is is the way that disabilities are handled. And there's no way you can tell me I am "bullying" when I say that because I am literally a visually impaired person giving constructive criticism on how a disability that relates to MINE could be better handled in the comic. I love Sparklecare as someone who has experienced ableism from almost everyone around me. I think it's a great way to symbolize ableism and the way the healthcare system is inherently toxic and a breeding ground for trauma and assault.

I only made this a separate blog from my main because I figured people wouldn't want to see constructive criticism on my main. Not to mention that some people in the fandom (not blaming Kc or the ZCP for this) can really be white knights and decide that anything less than positivity for the comic is an attack against Kc. You can tell me this isn't true but I've seen people be called all flavors of slurs and even been told to harm themselves over this. And I'm talking about literal children having to put up with being sent these things. Regardless of the blog or not, I should NOT be scared of saying anything against the comic in fear of getting death threats. The fandom is getting bad behind the scenes and I do not blame Kc for that. Kit did nothing to deserve this. Especially all of those "criticism" blogs that aren't actually criticism, but just bullying the comic and tearing it apart. When I agree that SCH has its problems, all media does and we should simply acknowledge these without saying the entire comic is garbage because. It's not. It has gotten so many people, me included out of dark places and when I criticize it I always try to make it as constructive as possible because I genuinely love this comic and its message. It hits super close to home for me and I love to see the story and characters grow and change. This includes me feeling comfortable enough to give constructive advice on how disabilities similar to mine could be more comfortably portrayed. I have never and never will say that the comic or Kc are bad because honestly? The comic already treats (most) disability or disorders a LOT better than other media does. And that's something I praise it for. I could go on and on about the things I like about this comic and characters, like Creams AFRID being treated in a humanizing and positive way. As someone with food sensitivity, I am so happy to see it be painted in a normal, healthy way and not the characters making fun of it, as a lot of media does.

But loving something means you need to acknowledge its flaws. And Sparklecare has flaws, as all media does. That does NOT mean that you should make Kc feel bad about her own fucking trauma. You are not entitled to know kits trauma. You are not entitled to the characters identities. You can say something Upsets you, but that doesn't mean that it's inherently bad. Some things on this blog are just things that upset me. It's okay to be upset by things. But it doesn't mean that whatever upsets you should immediately be changed unless it is an actual problem and not just something that YOU personally do not like.

This turned out way longer than I thought it would, but I uh. Just wanted to get that out there.

[smoshsfavoritepizzaplace]

this mightcbe way too controversial so don't need to publish this is you don't know how to respond esp cause idt this take is fully fleshed out! but i just wanna say that potentially the reason that kimmy, jackie, saige, and sarah were not subject to this type of gross speculation the way courtney is, is because of subtle inherent (racist) biases. kimmy, jackie and sarah were women of color and all of them are very dehumanized and separated from their femininity, largely due to their existence as women of color, even if subconsciously. to add to that, sure to some of you who have never seen wasians in your life, sarah can be considered "white passing" but sarah is mid-sized, and was thus dehumanized. i alao should add jackie's "always single" persona probably also had to do w the lack of pregnancy speculation on her end HAHAHA. saige, on the other hand, doesn't fit into the rigid ideals of what femininity is- she was outspoken as fuck, had bright coloured hair, had bold makeup. i also think saige's polarizing nature is due to her active lack of conformity to traditional femininity.

i also forgot about olivia, oops. but generally- woman of color. was hugely dehumanized and heavily sexualized and the fantasy of east asian women is about virginity and "purity" so i just don't think that speculating pregnancy is in the cards for her because people assume... very... weird things about conventionally attractive east asian women.

i like all these women and how they are! i find them all so inspiring- and once again, i think courtney is so much more than how they look. but one thing i noticed is that because people perceive courtney as the western peak of femininity (white, blonde, conventionally attractive), they feel owed a sense of control over her body. it's most obviously seen, in my opinion, in how black women especially are the targets of transvestigation from conservatives as well as the overturning of roe v wade in the US, as well as the rise in popularity of tradwifery. to expound on the whole thing i said ab east asian women- the whole fantasy for white women in a white supremacist society is to be traditional, subservient, and to be a baby machine in a way that isn't expected of east asian women.

i don't think smosh can do anything, as an entity, to stop or prevent this. it's not their responsibility and it's also very complex and needs years of unlearning that i simply don't think comedy channels on youtube should have the responsibility of.

i don't know. i could be speaking out of my ass but these are just my observations! i think this has so much to do w rising conservativism!!!!

I don’t think I’m smart enough to fully comprehend this lol but from what I think, are you saying that the other female cast didn’t go through the whole pregnancy rumors bc they had different stereotypes that others put on them based on them being of color? If so, I think I agree with you then. As a female who is a poc I definitely feel like we go through different types of issues than white women, though we can both have struggles, just in different ways.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

the thing is - pro prostitution activists (and people who agree with idea) usually never suggest their 'perfect system'. On average, they just scream 'it needs to be legalised and then everything will be great', sometimes you get few ideas on how to protect "sex workers". But you know what? Whenever I do see such discussions and their suggestions, I can easily come up with 3 different scenarios where their rules and laws won't work or just would/can be ignored and women would still be harmed. EVERY TIME. People did and do all kinds of shady stuff, even in highly regulated industries + cool phenomenon called 'corruption'. Do they really think men give a shit about law, especially those who don't see women as human beings (and its all of them)?

The pro 'sex work' discourse is just people using fancy words to state that they don't believe misogyny exists, women are exploited, but most importantly they believe that men's pleasure and need to masturbate (with woman body) are more important than women's feeling and right to be save.

i recently had a very frustrating and saddening exchange with a woman on here who is in prostitution and kept saying the same thing (it should be legal) over and over again and when i told her it is legal in germany and it has not made things better just shifted problems and increased demand she said well but its legal that is definitely better. and you know i myself dont advocate for prostituting oneself to be illegal at all, i think its crazy that 30 % of women incarcerated in the usa where its fully criminalised are prostitutes, but it seems like usual people are only able to grasp the two extremes: full legalisation or full criminalisation. when in reality, abolishing the sex industry is a lengthy and complex process, but you have to start somewhere.

they say, „you wont stop prostitution by criminalising/outlawing it“ but think they can somehow stop the harm of prostitution through legal means, lmao (which also ignores the inherent harm of bought consent compared to freely given consent and knowingly making someone endure sexual acts for money). there has to be a cultural and legal and economic shift and thats a lot. we have to alleviate poverty from women systematically affected by it (single mothers, immigrated women, mentally ill, disabled, addicted women, and so on); this means pulling out the roots of misogyny and we all know this is not in the works. the difference between them and us is, we think a different future is possible if the effort is put in, but they dont. which is so fucking bleak and tells you a lot about how women see their own position in society, and the chances of it getting better.

even if you dont criminalise buying sex, you could still make it more difficult to buy sex. „but then it will move back to the black market“ honey its already there, even here in germany where its legal. so much prostitution is happening invisible, in apartment buildings and deserted areas. we should work towards ways how to reach women in these situations without legalising their abuse. if there was a perfect solution that immediately solved all the issues, we would advocate for it, dont you think? but there is no perfect solution and just accepting men will always use their money to coerce sex is just not something im okay with and we, as a society claiming to want gender equality should be okay with.

why not reverse what we have in germany right now? instead of prostitutes needing to register, its sex buyers who have to register. they need to do regular health checkups. they need to carry their sex buyer id with them or they will get fined. the registry is public because wives, daughters, partners and even your employer should be able to make decisions based on the knowledge that that man is coercing women into sex with his money. most sex buyers are partnered you know. „the government will never do that“ well they sure as hell wont if nobody advocates for it and instead opts for the lazy, superficial „fix“ of legalisation? and also, they say an issue under criminalisation is that prostitutes and other „sex workers“ are hassled by cops. well do tell who will enforce those sacred regulations you want? if it was for them, everybody would just „mind their own business“ and the state does not interfere with the sex industry at all and they somehow think this will protect vulnerable groups?! it doesnt make any fucking sense.

it is really frustrating to me. at the end of the day you have to ask, what is your feminism, if you want to accept, regulate, institutionalise, normalise, legitimise and legalise this form of systemic sexual abuse (because using your money to coerce sexual acts IS abuse of power) at the hands of men instead of working towards a future where we are equal? there is no equality as long as the sex industry exists and profits off and reinforces social inequality, specifically misogyny and racism.

[theangryman]

if you get an STI, it’s not the end of the world

like yeah, you got sick. sometimes we get sick. we have bodies

but we have a weird cultural thing where an STI “taints” you. it makes you “dirty” - versus the clean (“are you clean? ddf?”)

like obviously, when you get sick you should get treatment, and take action to not get others sick. but you aren’t a bad person for getting sick

if you get an STI cheating in a committed relationship and get your partner sick that’s fucked up and unethical. if you have it raw with a stranger and get sick that’s stupid but not *wrong*

maybe we can apply the Hegelian dialectic idea to “sex-negative”/“sex-positive” feminism

eg, the only moral component to sex should be the safety and consent of the sex actors

however, as Dworkin pointed out (and had her words mangled into “all het sex is rape”) - the safety and consent of women in heterosexual relationships has historically not been relevant to sex. the world in which we grow up gives us a script for sex, tells us that the female partner is a vessel, does not enjoy the act nor is supposed to. the fact that she isn’t supposed to enjoy it facilitates the creation of a rape culture. the script that the sex actors are given overwhelms their own agency, denies true consent to the woman (Oprah made it big with a show where they talked to a woman who had never orgasmed - think about how many het woman have died and will die having never experienced an orgasm despite having “been” fucked probably hundreds of times over their lives by boyfriends and husbands. they received sex but never participated)

female pleasure is such a non factor in societal scripts that it makes true female sexual agency invisible. instead we see Sabrina Carpenter praised for exemplifying female sexual agency by catering to sexual scripts that focus on male pleasure (performing oral sex). even “femdom” porn focuses on acts that would involve little physical sensation for the female “dominant” - eg - pegging. even in assuming a dominant role, a woman must perform penetration. the metaphor that penetration = domination is etched into our psyche, unavoidable and perhaps tied to that elusive nature of female pleasure

related to that idea of STI’s perhaps - this is a tangled web of ideas that i’m picking through

sex (the act) as it SHOULD be versus the way it is

gender as it SHOULD be versus the way it is

the “sex negative” view was not that sex - even het sex - was fundamentally bad. it was that the power dynamic between men and women was so fundamentally unequal that sex would always be exploitative. within that system, we must reject that sex. but because that was the only sex on offer (at least in a comphet world), that being “sex negative” was anti-sex

the “sex positive” view was the idea that sex is fun, and not inherently bad. this is true. we can imagine a world where all are born on an equal playing field, and that one group of people is not told from birth that they are vessels and not deserving of sexual pleasure or personal agency. we can imagine a world which would enable the “sex positive” world

it’s the “is” versus “ought”

I think perhaps this ties to rad fem critiques of gender - that the idea of transition betrays the idea that man could wear a dress, that the categories of man and woman could cease to exist and thus cease to hold power over us

the recognition of the reality of the constraints we act against, the affordances by which we are able to understand the world

I do think transgender people and a radical feminism which understands transition as a means of violating those affordances, of saying man/woman are *not* as a way of removing the power from the dichotomy can possibly coexist

[legacyshenanigans]

Would Marvolo ever let MC take care of him in a way that wasn’t when he is sick or inherently sexual? Like just got a massive amount of tension in his back that needs addressing, desperately needs a bath but he’s so perpetually exhausted he can’t lift a hand to do it himself? Since we are finally starting to see him letting her in more it just had me thinking what levels of comfortability he’d have with the more day to day caretaking since he seems extremely independent and prefers the caregiving role instead of giving it to another

What sort of like more domestic life that’s not sexual would he enjoy or allow?

Interesting question! I'd be happy to answer it 🙂💚

Marvolo HC's

General domestic care and comfortability, Split up with little drabbles 😊

Marvolo tries not to complain about things to MC because he doesn't wish to bother her with them, but he will at times. It totally depends. He's definitely not one to like feeling vulnerable in front of her, in ANY kind of way, no matter how small of an issue it is, and it's still something he's REALLY trying to get used to.

Marvolo: *rolling his shoulder as they're relaxing together*

MC: Are you ok?

Marvolo: Hm? Oh..Yes, I'm fine.

MC: Is your shoulder hurting?

Marvolo: No, no, I'm fine.

MC: *sits up in the bed* Marvolo, sit up.

Marvolo: Don't fuss over me *small frown* I'm fine.

MC: Sit up!

Marvolo: *sighs and sits up*

MC: *feeling his shoulder and shoulder blade* Ooh yeah, you've got a knot.

Marvolo: I already knew that *small chuckle*

MC: Want me to get rid of it?

Marvolo: ...You can do that?

MC: By massaging it, yeah *smiles*

Marvolo: I..Well..I suppose. Sure. *Clears his throat with a small smile* Thank you..

Before MC, Marvolo had never had a romantic partnership with someone, so someone who loves him wanting to do anything for him was a completely new and bizarre concept to him, I mean, he always HAD people willing to do things for him, but by his demand usually, not a love, off their own back, even small things.

Marvolo: *walks into his room after a session at the Den* (??) *narrows his eyes* What's that smell? It's nice..

MC: a candle *sweet grin* I also cleaned up your room a little, organised some things, cleaned out Rereks vivarium, put fresh bedding on the bed, you know *smiles*

Marvolo: ...What did I do?

MC: What do you mean?

Marvolo: Well, why would you do that for me?

MC: I wanted you to come home to a nice fresh environment *smiles*

Marvolo: ....Why?

MC: ...Because I love you?

Marvolo: Oh..*smiles* Well.. How kind.. Thank you, babe.

MC also loves to groom him, and he knows this and finds it so odd and uncomfortable, but it makes her happy, so he allows it, as much as he hates being groomed 🤭

Marvolo: Right, I'm going to the Den, I'll be back later *walks over to her and leans down to kiss her*

MC: *doesn't let him kiss her for a moment*

Marvolo: (?!) *confused expression*

MC: *starts sorting out his hair*

Marvolo: ...What are you doing?

MC: Making your hair nice and presentable *smiles*

Marvolo: *wicked little grin* I'm cutting up bodies, and fighting tonight MC..Corpses and other Dark wizards don't give a fuck about my hair..

MC: Well..Still..I like making you look handsome *boops his nose*

Marvolo: *crinkles his nose for a moment* ...Fair enough *grins* Can I have my kiss now, please?

Tending to his wounds is another thing he will allow her to do, though he'd much rather handle it himself, but deep down, he likes it.

MC: *washing away the blood around a wound on his chest*

Marvolo: *small hiss*

MC: Sorry.

Marvolo: No No, its OK.

MC: *applying ointment* This should heal up fine hopefully *sweet grin*

Marvolo: *giving her a endearing smile*

MC: ..What? *smiles back*

Marvolo: *taking her hand and kissing it* Thank you..

His level of general comfort around her grows by the day, there's still some things he'd rather not involve her with, mainly his mental health, and his childhood, talking about deeprooted things with her is something he's VERY uncomfortable with. But one day, hopefully, he will open up completely.

Marvolo: *wakes up from a rare, intense trauma nightmare and sits up harshly*

MC: (?!) Are you alright?

Marvolo: (?!) Go back to sleep, sorry if I woke you *sits on the edge of the bed and rubs his face*

MC: Did you..Have a nightmare?

Marvolo: ...No.

MC: Yes you did, don't lie to me.

Marvolo: *looks over his shoulder at her* MC. Please.

MC: Do you want to talk about it?

Marvolo: *thinks for a moment, wanting to tell her, but won't* No.

MC: OK, well..I won't press you..But I'm here if you do ever want to talk about thing's *smiles*

Marvolo: .......*lays back down and turns her around so her back is facing him, pulling her in for a spoon as he holds her, kissing her shoulder* I... Appreciate that...I really do.

MC: No problem *snuggles back into him with a smile on her face*

~

[joeloverture]

as a woman, what’s the appeal to being degraded? i think i’m into it but my fear is men inherently hate women so how can you trust they don’t have an internalized hatred of women and misogyny that they’re trying to mask and hide from women in order to be in a relationship or get laid? /gen

okay hi darling non!! im really happy you asked this question. its something i think of often and had a former special interest in (the psychology of kink)

first of all i want to say that what you enjoy in literature or having solo time thinking about doesn’t have to equate to wanting to involve that in your legitimate sexual endeavors. you can be turned on by it, but be it for trust issues, relationship with the patriarchy, whatever reason, not want to involve it in your sex life. and that’s a perfectly healthy way to live with it, too!

if you think you’re into it, my advice is to embrace it for now. read fics with the degradation tag, maybe take a glance at some blogs or articles describing submissive women in bdsm — and of course, if any of this makes you uncomfortable, maybe it isn’t for you after all! and if you do enjoy it, there’s no need to jump the gun and integrate it into your sexual practice.

but on a more psychological level, with a trusted partner bdsm can be a way to unpack anxieties and fears about the real world. it’s why certain people are into cnc, why certain people like even the most, to others, debasing and upsetting kinks (think of woc into raceplay)

we don’t choose what we are into, but oftentimes, it can be a reflection of not our desires but our trepidation.

it may be because of near universal messages surrounding ideas that sex should be shameful, or because of a desperation to give up control in an already chaotic world. it can even build up intimacy to show new sides of yourself to your partner.

for me personally, it’s because of a tumultuous childhood — it’s reassuring to have someone call me all sorts of filthy things, smack my ass, fuck me hard, and then still want me. to be marked and bruised and aching while my dom cleans me up, runs me a bath, brings me a snack, and sets up a movie is my ideal night. that they can see me that way, even inflict it upon me, and come out of it seeing me as a person worth admiring still. i love love love pain play as well, and this i attribute to my chronic pain history. it’s nice to having a stinging pain in a more erogenous zone instead of aching everywhere else.

humiliation is inarguably my biggest kink, and i had anxieties for a long time about how to breach this. as do many newbies who know they love bdsm but have formerly only had vanilla sex.

at the moment, i have a dom. things with him are so much better than they’ve been with others, primarily because we have a deeply rooted understanding of each other.

and we have a certain philosophy when it comes to kinks that don’t belong anywhere outside of the bedroom. i am, fundamentally, in control. not him. he may be feigning control and slapping me around, but don’t get it twisted; the leader of this shared endeavor is me. he can read my body language. he knows the sweet spots — to compare my body to goldilocks, he knows what’s just right. he can test these boundaries, but the goal is never and should never be to have your submissive safe word! if i safe word or check in, then i safe word or check in.

it also helps that there are decades old photos of him at womens marches with his sister, he’s always there for my activism, his ex (who only left him because she learned she’s a lesbian!) wife is the most supportive person ever and has nothing bad to say about him. he even put me in touch with her early on in our time together because it was his first time with someone not sharing the first digit of his age and he wanted me comfortable. he’s the most reassuring person that could be there for me to experience all of this with, things that i would be much more precautious about with others. it’s about finding someone you can let your guard down with.

it is a dynamic that flows between us with equal give and take. while it may appear he is domineering over me, based on how he treats me outside of sex, i know that he sees me as more than just sex. we are not lifestyle d/s, meaning we contain my submission to the bedroom. frankly, i am much more outspoken than he is, so our dynamic is fairly innocuous i think. (of course, as any dom should, he cares about my wellbeing. he doesn’t do some practices other doms do like punish me for not taking care of myself. we work on that in different ways.)

is he still a man? yes! does he want to dom me and does he get hard by seeing me humiliated? very much yes. in his own words, transcribed from when i called him about this ask today, “i cherish the power that you do give me. it helps that you want it so much. i like seeing you squirm and i like being able to give you something that sustains you. it’s a lot about wanting to protect you, you know that right?” when i asked him how long he’d fantasized about domination, he replied, “longer than you’ve been alive. some men in these spaces want to play dom because they see women as lesser. i want to actually dom because i see your desires as legitimate, just as legitimate as mine. you want to scream, and i want to make you scream; it’s a fair exchange, yes?” he went on to jest at me for five minutes about how much harder i come when he’s mean to me. he’s such a dick /pos

d/s is based on the willingness of the submissive, and in this way, i have more power than him. he’s hyper aware of this. i can leave this arrangement at any time should it no longer satisfy me or make me uncomfortable. that’s part of why i feel so safe handing over power.

this got pretty long but i wanted to encapsulate what you can do about this, how others feel about it, and my experience with it. please feel free to ask me anything else you might wonder. it’s a nuanced topic, something people don’t talk about too in depth a lot of the time.

i haven’t really brought up my dom on here before, but first time for everything! i love talking about him, and i think our connection is special.

happy trails, non!

edit: im not the authority on this and do not want to present myself as such! kink experts are out there, as well as people who discuss kink and the correlation (or lack of, depending on the study) to misogyny. this is just my experience and perceptions. i figured id say this outright for the record :)