#(while also still being stressed about procrastinating my essay exam)

[orcelito]

My brain is. Goop. Running at about quarter speed right now. It's a little bit embarrassing, actually.

[admiringlove]

“you were the one that accidentally got coffee in their hair.”

— welcome to sam’s brewery, where we commemorate reaching 500 customers! this event lasts for one week, and will only take up to twenty orders(as above that can become quite overwhelming).

+order: hiya, it's review anon. i love the way you write and congrats for hitting 500!! i want to give you something challenging because you've done a couple hurt/comfort pieces before with good dialogues that fit the story. how about something like, "you were the one that accidentally got coffee in their hair" + akaashi? you write for him really well :) [submitted by review anon]

+word count: 0.6k

+author’s notes: i do think i write for him the most ahah! i have the most experience when it comes to his personality <3 here is the link to the event masterlist, requesting is now officially closed for this event!

Akaashi's been stressed. 

With mid-terms approaching in less than a week, he's scared that his scholarship won't last. Balancing college, work and expenses felt easy at first—spoilers, it's not. Living alone in a shabby apartment with couples as his neighbors was already hard, and on top of that, the only entertainment in his life was that one novel he decided to bring back from home(along with his phone, but he really doesn't like being on it much). 

So yes, Akaashi Keiji was a sleep-deprived college student, whose life almost ran on coffee, and his will to continue on with his studies was slowly dying. Without Bokuto by his side, he didn't have anyone to keep him grounded. Everything was dull. Anyone would think it's the opposite, because Akaashi is supposed to be the level-headed intelligent boy whereas Bokuto was the obnoxious yet welcoming friend. They used to work on a tandem; Bokuto being the one who calmed him down when his anxiety leveled up, and Akaashi doing the same for his owl-themed friend. 

He hadn't felt more lonely in the past four years.

Until today, when for the first time in weeks, Akaashi ended up laughing out of pure joy. Well, not exactly pure joy, he felt bad for the person who got coffee spilled on their hair in the café line, but it was still atrociously hilarious to him. For the first time in almost forever, he was happy(the guilt was seriously downing him, but he laughed anyway). 

What a wacky morning indeed, he thinks to himself. The doubt-solving sessions are almost of no help during his lectures. He wonders to himself why he's even paying for them—because the teacher wouldn't listen to people's questions, and just ramble about how Shylock decided to scheme out a revenge plan in the Merchant of Venice. 

He sighs for almost the hundredth time in the same day, making his way to the library. If he planned this out correctly, he had a full day to study. Without motivation to, that is. Groaning, the gunmetal-eyed boy strolls over to the back of the library, where almost always a certain seat is empty, and he usually has the place to himself.

Emphasis on 'usually'. 

Because if today couldn't get more hectic, someone was sitting on the other side of the table. His shoulders immediately droop at the thought of having to share his usual spot with someone, but he walks over anyway because he doesn't have the time to procrastinate anymore. With less than a week left, he has to memorize almost half of the intentions behind the stupid characters of Shakespeare's play's actions. And he also has to prepare four essays in that amount of time. 

Akaashi opens up his laptop, his eyes focused on the screen as he types his essay while thinking. He's trying his best, but his mind wanders to his deskmate, who's sitting across from him and is humming. With earphones on, and a white shirt with a slight brown stain on it, he recognizes this person. 

"You were the one that accidentally got coffee in their hair," he points out. They look up at him, their eyes widened as they remove their earbuds one by one and ask, "You saw that?" 

"Yeah, I was actually in line with you," he chuckles, "Unfortunate, really. Thankfully the other person's coffee wasn't hot."

"Nope, they just managed to ruin my favorite hoodie," you groan, putting your earphones in your bag swiftly as you say, "I'm [L/N] [Y/N], currently having an existential crisis because of exams."

"Akaashi Keiji," he mumbles back, "Almost dead because of sleep-deprivation."

Somehow suddenly, he thinks that maybe his life wasn't so dull. He thinks of the possibilities he has with you, and that maybe, you might just turn out to be a better friend than he thought. 

And that, you do. 

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[bastardtetsu]

critical thinking | ch③

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x gn!reader

genre: college au, enemies to lovers, tsundere!reader, slow burn

wc: 2.3k

warnings: swearing, being a theatre major

※ mlist | ① ② ● ④

there is no greater hell than finals week as a college theatre major.

and this year, on top of juries to prep for, studio scenes & dance combos to rehearse, essays to write, exams to study for, and rehearsals to attend for the show you’re in, your chemistry teacher decided to assign a final project in addition to the final exam. rejoice.

it was enough trying to study for the written final while staying on top of all your other assignments and obligations - you’d busted your ass so hard leading up to the exam that you hardly had time to think about the project until a week before its due date. and even when you do start thinking about it, you barely understand what you’re supposed to be doing, much less have the time or energy to try and figure it out.

you end up texting kuroo in desperation and make him agree to meet up with you for an extra tutoring session, however, due to your extra-chaotic schedule this week, the only time you’re both able to meet up is after your all-day rehearsal the sunday night before the project is due.

it’s better than nothing, you suppose.

still, you don’t fully realize the consequences of your choices until you’re exhausted on your way back from your second consecutive day of 12-hour tech rehearsals - a pretty standard tech week schedule in the professional theatre world, but not very convenient for a college student during finals.

needless to say, you’re dead tired. the last thing you want is to fry your brain even further with chemistry & kuroo’s smart mouth, but at this point you have no choice.

as you approach him in the library, you notice he’s dressed way more casually than usual. this shouldn’t come as a shock, seeing that it’s 11pm on a sunday, but the way his t-shirt and sweatpants accentuate his figure is actually insulting. somehow the way the fabric stretches around his pecs makes his chest look even broader, and christ you were not expecting his arms to be THAT toned.

NOPE. now is not the time, you remind yourself. you have a project due in ten hours. you can feel a headache coming on as your stress levels rise again.

“evening,” he greets you with a smile.

“hey,” you respond shortly as you set your stuff down, “thanks for meeting with me this late.”

“of course,” he replies, “anything for my favorite student.”

“…are you being sarcastic?”

“no.”

“i’m your favorite?” you question skeptically. “jesus, who else are you tutoring…”

“well I didn’t say you were my best student—“

“cool, i’m gonna stop you there.”

he just giggles. asshole.

you let out a fatigued sigh as you plop down in your chair. this feels like your first moment of rest all day, but in reality it’s just the start of the most difficult battle of them all. you attempt to gather up the remnants of your brainpower, silently praying that kuroo will decide to behave himself.

“you don’t seem like you’re in the mood for chemistry tonight.”

some prayers must go unanswered.

“yeah, i’ve had a long day,” you reply unenthusiastically, “so i’d really like to get this done as quickly as possible.”

“really? that’s gonna be difficult in your condition,” he jeers.

“well i don’t have much choice, do i?” you snap back a bit too aggressively.

“guess not,” he shrugs nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair with his hands resting behind his head. what is with this attitude? is he really just being a dick right now? and WHY do his arms look so god damn tasty??

you can already feel your sanity slipping away as you try to will yourself to focus on anything that’s not kuroo’s juicy biceps flexing through the fabric of his t-shirt. or his chest. or the little strip of exposed skin that’s appeared just below the hem of his shirt - fuck.

focus, you instruct yourself. your brain, however, is already giving out, the stress of not just the day, but the whole week finally catching up to you. the possibility of having something passable to turn in by tomorrow morning seems further and further away.

“look,” you sigh, leveling with him, “we both know i’m awful at chem—“

“really??”

“shut up,” you cut him off quickly, “and i’ve had a long ass week dealing with all this other shit on my plate and i’m really fucking tired and i just want to get a good grade on this so i can graduate, so can you please, PLEASE just—“

“if you’re gonna ask me to do the assignment for you, I already did it.”

a pause.

“wait. what do you mean-“

“i did the assignment for you. project’s done.”

“um,” you stutter, dumbfounded. “excuse me?”

“what, you thought i was gonna let you do it yourself? after you procrastinated it til the literal night before?” he says with an especially wide grin, “it would be irresponsible for me as a tutor if I let my student do so poorly! granted, she’s really bad at this—“

“ok shut up,” you cut him off. your mind is swirling with a mixture of shock, gratitude, and rage as you process his words. “when did you—“

“this week. after you texted me.”

“what?” you cry, “why are we even meeting up then?”

“i dunno,” he responds with a coy smirk, “it would’ve been rude to cancel.”

the swell of gratitude in your chest is overtaken by the growing wave of rage.

“so you decided to waste *more* of my time,” you state pointedly, “when you literally have enough to do an entire final project just for funsies. cool.”

“hey, show a little more gratitude,” he whines, quirking an eyebrow in annoyance, “you’re the one who left it til the last minute.”

“i’m the one?” you shoot back, “you still think i’m just procrastinating because i’m lazy??”

“look, i know finals are demanding—“

“no, I don’t think you do know,” you cut him off, now fuming. “you want a rundown of my week? i can give it to you.” you list off all the assignments you had to turn in, all the finals you had to prep for - both written and performance, all the meetings with scene partners and voice teachers and rehearsal pianists you had to arrange, all the hours you had to spend in rehearsal, including the 12-hour tech day you just came from. kuroo just sits there, taking in your words. when you finish, you let out an exhausted sigh, “so if you’d like to tell me when the fuck i was supposed to work on this stupid project, be my guest. i’d love to hear it.”

this might be the first time you’ve seen kuroo look shocked. for once he doesn’t seem to know what to say. is that a trace of guilt in his eyes too?

“i—“ just as he’s about to speak, he is cut off by an unholy sound coming from your stomach. you both sit there frozen for a second.

“um… when was the last time you ate?” he asks, cautiously breaking the silence.

“uhh,” you think back, “like 3pm.”

“okay, well it’s past 11 now,” he says, “and you need to eat. get your stuff, let’s go.”

“huh? go where?”

“to get food,” he states simply, “i’m driving, come on.”

“kuroo,” you protest, “i’m not gonna make you drive me—“

“you’re not making me,” he interrupts, “i’m making you. let’s go.”

you let out a sigh of defeat and grab your bag. with the rage beginning to melt away, that swell of gratitude begins to stir in your chest again. it’s still weird when he’s kind to you, but you’re starting to mind less.

—

you hadn’t realized how hungry you truly were until the smell of oil and salt hits you.

after grabbing your food from the drive thru, kuroo pulls around and finds a spot in the near-empty parking lot. you waste no time scarfing down your food, which he even insisted on paying for. whatever, it’s just mcdonald’s, you think. but still, the gesture is nice.

“you didn’t have to do this you know.”

“i think i did,” he says, jokingly referring to how hard you were just stuffing your face.

“funny,” you respond sarcastically, “but seriously.”

“it’s no big deal,” he says, looking away slightly. is he blushing? you can’t tell in the dark. “anyway, i figured i owed you one for making you stress about the project.”

you can’t believe your ears - is he actually apologizing?

“yeah, you really let me suffer all week, asshole,” you respond teasingly.

“i didn’t know it was that bad, alright,” he says, slightly defensive. a brief pause, and then, “sorry.”

you can hear the remorse in his voice - he means it. the corners of your mouth twitch upward.

“thank you,” you say gently, “that means a lot.”

his gaze darts back over to you. you’ve never seen his eyes look nervous before, yet somehow his stare still feels piercing.

“you’re gonna have to buy me a lot more nuggets before i fully forgive you though,” you joke, breaking out your own devilish smirk. he chuckles too, relieved.

“how many are we talking?”

“as many as i want.”

“fine,” he relents, “guess you’ll have to hang out with me more then, if i’m gonna be buying you all these nuggets.”

“whatever, i’m immune to your bullshit by now.”

“oya~? you’re starting to like me, y/n??”

“is that what the fuck i said?”

“no, but it’s what you meant,” he responds with a smirk.

“and how would you know?”

“‘cause i’m a genius,” he says, reaching over to swipe a fry from your lap. you halfheartedly swat at him.

“sure, keep telling yourself that.”

your banter feels natural now, strangely comfortable. for some reason it actually feels good talking to him. he did do something really nice for you tonight after all, despite your continued bickering. no matter how much you insult him he always has something to say back. but as much as it pisses you off, you’re not sure what you’d do if he ever stopped.

—

as kuroo drives you back to your place for the night, your mind begins turning over the events of this evening. in the time since you’d met up with him (which somehow feels longer than the literal 12 hours of rehearsal you were in earlier), you’d not only found out that the final project you’d been so stressed about had been taken care of, but you also hung out with him for the first time outside of tutoring. and he was nice to you. it’s a lot to process.

it’s not like you aren’t used to spending time alone with kuroo - like you told him, you’re immune to his bullshit by now - but this feels different somehow. it’s more peaceful, maybe even comforting. you figure it’s probably because of the rollercoaster of a day you just had, not to mention how unusual it is for him to treat you like this.

“why are you being so nice to me?” you finally ask him, turning to steal a glance at his side profile in the dim glow of the streetlamps.

“huh?? i needed to make sure my student got their nutrients!” he replies, as if it was obvious.

“what nutrients? you took me to mcdonald’s.”

“okay fair,” he says, “but nothing else was open!”

“sure, but you didn’t need to take me anywhere,” you protest, “much less spend money on me.”

“maybe i’ll just cook for you next time then,” he smiles.

“next time!?” you squawk, “what, are you trying to get into my pants??” the words leave your mouth before you fully have time to process them, but either way, you aren’t expecting the sudden silence that falls over him.

a flash of anxiety darts through your mind, but it only lasts for a second before he laughs quitely, almost to himself.

“not if you don’t want me to,” he mutters.

your breath catches. is he joking?? your heart feels like it’s in your throat. he’s definitely joking.

“what are you cooking?” is the only thought you can manage to put to words.

another pause.

“um. probably fish.”

“EW, WHAT THE FUCK?”

“what???” he gripes, “you could use more docosahexaenoic acid!!!”

“you are such a freak.” you’re relieved that the subject has changed, even though his earlier response is still circling your mind.

“okay but can you tell me the chemical formula for docosahex—“

“no, you are not bringing chemistry into this car, absolutely not. i already took my final.”

“what about the molar mass—“

“NO.”

—

you arrive back at your place not long after. kuroo’s comment is still eating away at the back your mind, but you don’t say anything as you gather your belongings. it was a cop-out response, and he was probably joking anyway.

“thanks for everything,” you say gingerly, “the project, and the food, and the ride, and the help with the semester, all that.”

“anytime, princess,” he replies with his signature smirk. usually that kind of response would trigger a jolt of annoyance in you, but this time it feels different. maybe because now you’re actually grateful to him.

in fact, you’re very grateful, and you feel like you should be expressing it more, but you’re not sure how. plus you’re too embarrassed, and have way too much pride. so instead you wish him goodnight and head towards your front door.

he waits to drive off until you’re all the way inside.

you think about him a little differently after that.

a/n: why is he so obsessed with docosahexdhfafdjh acid.... making me have to google how to spell that shit smh. anyways thank you for all the love on this fic so far!! if u actually enjoy this self-indulgent fantasy of mine know that i love & appreciate u to the ends of the earth ;-;

[bqstqnbruin]

Three times he said it as a friend and once as something more

Hello, hello. I’m still working on the Nick Robertson request but wow I don’t want you to hate me for it because it is actual trash right now and I’m sorry. But I’m also working on B&W part 3, so there’s that!

This was requested from that fluffs prompt list, which I think I’m done with now because honestly, it’s so far deep at this point, and I’m so lazy.

I hope you like it!

46. Why should we date?

47. Because we’re attracted to each other

48. I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.

__________________________

one

“Next time I see you, I really do expect you to be a professional athlete,” you tell Charlie, the two of you laying on a blanket in his backyard, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight on his last night in town. The next morning, he would be leaving to go to BU to play hockey. It wasn’t even that far, but him not living at home, and you going to school in Vermont meant him no longer driving you to school each morning, you no longer going over with dinner your mom made when she knew he and his parents were running around because of his games, no more walking next door whenever you needed to talk to instead of calling him. The memories would last forever, but those moments were now just part of the past.

“Are you not gonna come see me play at BU at all? What about when we play UVM?” he says, turning his head to look you.

Turning to him, you roll your eyes, “Ok, fine. Then I expect you to be a professional athlete in the next three years.” 

“Whatever,” he says, laughing. 

You sit there in silence, taking in what is probably one of the last moments for a while that you two will be able to spend a lot of time together. 

“Remember how we became friends?” he asks, sitting up. 

You follow suit, laughing at the memory that he just triggered. You were neighbors since your family moved to Weymouth, but you weren’t automatically friends because of it. “Well, duh. We sat across from each other in Family Consumer Science. We, of course, always finished the work early because we’re great, and we played pencil hockey for like thirty minutes before Mrs. Grace yelled at us for distracting the other two at our table.”

“The fact that you ever finished your work fast in that class is still amazing. You get distracted by everything and can’t focus on anything.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug it off. You sit there thinking of all the other good memories you had with him; sitting across from each other in US history and joking about all the mistakes you made while texting, the nights when you would walk around Boston Common once your parents trusted you out on your own, the last minute Bruins tickets he would get and force you to go along with him to the games.

“Did you ever think about what our lives would have been like if we dated?”

“What?” you ask, shocked. There was no way the two of you would ever date. He was destined to be a professional hockey player, traveling the US and Canada with whatever NHL team wanted him. You could never date someone that wasn’t going to be there when you needed them. And you couldn’t ask him to give up your dream for you. Yes, you were overthinking this, but best case scenario is that you had dated throughout high school and ended things tonight.

“Most people thought we were dating, anyway. What if we actually had?”

“Then we probably would have broken up tonight because long distance relationships from high school never work. Look at Andrea and Eric from last year, she went to Holy Cross and he only went to UConn and they could never make it work so they broke up. Or Josh and Maggie two years ago; he went to Ohio and ended up transferring to UMass so he could be with her and he loved Ohio State.”

“Too bad we never even gave it a chance.”

You look at him, shocked. “Did you want to?”

His only response was shrugging, a smile on his face as he lays back down on the blanket. You stay sitting up, thinking about what he just said. Did he want to date you all this time and never said anything until now? And why the hell would he do something like that anyway? You weren’t going to see him until at least Thanksgiving, which means that now you have to hyper fixate on this one memory until you see him again. 

“Hey,” he says, snapping you out of it.

“Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

two

Your phone lights up, causing you to tear your eyes away from the essay you had been writing that’s due in a few hours. Due to your great talent for procrastinating, you were, of course, finishing the paper at the last minute. The picture of you two in the Coyle’s front yard on your first day of school in six grade shows up on your screen, meaning Charlie was calling you. It had been forever since the two of you last talked; with you being in school and him trying to make it as a hockey player in Minnesota, your schedules never gave you a free moment to talk for more than a passing moment. 

“Hey, stranger,” you say, not hiding the smile on your face even though you were out in public. You hated showing any sort of emotion that would provoke someone to come up to you and start talking to you, but seeing Charlie’s name come up on your phone with something other than a text automatically made you smile. 

“Stranger? You know who I am.” You could tell by his voice that he was jokingly acting offended. 

“Yeah, you’re Zach Parise, right?” you tease.

You hear the laugh you miss so much on the other end, “How have you been?”

“Uh, stressed, lately, so nothing new.”

“Why?”

“Homework, papers, and exams.”

“Oh, my.” You both start laughing at the accidental joke he made, “Why so much stuff?”

“It’s midterms, babe.” 

“So I assume that you’re working right now?”

“Yep, it’s eight pm, the paper is due at midnight and I still have four more pages to write.”

` “I’m so glad that your work ethic hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Ok, rude! I have good work ethic, I just also have strong procrastination skills.”

“You probably have ADHD,” he says.

“Well, yes, but that’s a different story.”

“What’s your weekend look like? I want to catch up when you don’t have a lot of work to do.”

“Uh, I should be good.”

“Alright, get back to the paper.”

“I will. Love ya.”

“Love you, too.” 

three

“Oh, come on! We practically live together. You can’t deny that something is going on between us!” Charlie argues, pacing around the kitchen as you make dinner. This conversation between the two of you was becoming a weekly one, slowly getting on your nerves to the point where you would consider moving just to get away from it. 

“Because what happens if we break up? We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. Do you really want to throw all that away?” you say, turning to him, putting your hand on your hip. 

“I just think we should go out as more than friends just once.”

“And how would that be different than all the other times that we go out together?”

“Because then I could do things like hold your hand and flirt with you?”

“I’m like ninety percent sure you already flirt with me.” 

“Y/N.”

“Why should we date, Charlie?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other?”

“And I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie,” you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to the stove. 

“You’re seriously equating me to pie right now? I have never seen you eat pie, therefore, that argument is invalid.”

“Since when do you say things like therefore, and invalid?” 

“Seriously, Y/N. You know I have wanted to date you since we were in middle school, but something always came up. You know I love you. You know I always have.”

You turn back to him, trying to make eye contact, but something in you just can’t. Your timing was never right. Once you were old enough to date, the two of you were never single at the same time. Actually, that isn’t true. You were both single for a brief period of time while he was playing with the Sea Dogs and you were still at UVM. This was the first time that both of you were single and in the same town. 

“Charlie, you know that I love you, too. But this can not happen. We can’t risk breaking up and ruining what we have.” 

He exhales, obviously disappointed. You were, too, but you couldn’t let that show. You wanted nothing more than to be with him, but you couldn’t let all those years of friendship go away if things didn’t work out between the two of you. “Fine.”

once

“Remember when you wouldn’t date me?” he asks over the sound of everyone around you.

“Remember when you were less annoying?” you roll your eyes. You look around to see so many other couples and families filling in the tables around you. Everyone looked so happy, just like you were. 

You and Charlie had been together now for a year, him finally wearing you down and convincing you to let him take you on a date. He promised you that even if you stopped dating, your friendship would never end because, at this point, you were in too deep anyway. He told you he had this whole evening planned for your anniversary, complete with a walk around the Boston Common like you used to do when you were kids, dinner at Terramia, your favorite restaurant, and for dessert, he was taking you to Mike’s Pastries for the cannoli you loved so much. 

“No, never,” he smirks, reaching out across the table to take your hand.

You had to admit, all the things he had said trying to convince you to date him were right; nothing was really that different between the two of you besides the intimacy that wasn’t there before. “You’re never letting me live that down, are you?”

“No.” 

You roll your eyes at him. You didn’t want to inflate the ego of the man who didn’t even know how to use the oven by telling him he was right that you two dating was fine. 

“Hey,” he says, like that last night before he went off to college.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

You smile, thinking back to all those times you told each other those three words, them meaning something completely platonic. “I love you, too.” 

[coindraws]

just a random text post 😪

This is just going to be another rambling post because I don't really have anything better to do right now 😂 It's probably going to be a lot of whining, though. 

Anyway, I'm moving to France on Tuesday and starting university there on September 7th. Not sure how long it'll take me to get used to my new situation but at least it's only a 4 hour drive to my hometown instead of a 7 hour one like it was before. I think the biggest problem I'll be struggling with is the language and even though I had French in school and also graduated in it (written exam, that was always said to be the more difficult one and I agree, out of 154 students only 5 chose to do that and I only got a B-. I know, sad life and all 😔) that was back in 2017, so three years ago and I haven't really used French ever since. I might also be the only foreign student there that studies history, which has the potential to really suck. 

Apart from that I (almost) finished my Middle Ages essay and I just hope it still gets accepted but the prof never told us an actual date when we had to hand it in. The last information we received about that is from March, right before everything went down, and it said we'd have time until June but even that with some form of relaxation because nobody knows how the current situation is going to develop. The guidelines of my university propose a 2 week span of working on a 11 to 12 pages essay but I did it in the span of maybe three days, I just wanted to be finally done with it before I move to another country and I've procrastinated long enough on that one 😂 For studying history this one was way too philosophical and theological but that's the fault of the Middle Ages, not mine. Spent 11 pages talking about religion because the dude I wrote about was a churchman who did all sorts of stuff. 

There's still a lot of stuff for me to sort out, apart from two other essays that I won't be able to finish before September 30th with everything that's coming up in my life and then also some bureaucracy things that I really don't want to tackle but I do need the help from the state to pay rent etc. 

I can't wait for 2020 to be finally over with, this year sucked hard for almost everybody and I remember how I thought in 2019 that 2020 was going to be a good year. Kind of ironic now that I think back but who could've known that things would turn out this way. 

And because I'm a loser I'm still into Stardew Valley and excited for the new update, I've been playing it a lot on my Switch just to escape since all that stress really killed my desire to draw and it's kind of hard getting back into it. Maybe having a normal university schedule will change that because it was almost impossible for me to feel inspired when all I did for the past few months was sit at home and endure zoom meetings and boring lectures. I know that moving to a different country isn't the best idea during this time but I can't really change it since it was planned to be like this from the very beginning, I was just unlucky for it to happen right now. Germany's doing fine so far but some of our neighboring countries are starting to struggle again and I'll have to keep an eye out on what the German government declares as risky regions to go to or not but so far the region in France where I'll move to is fine. 

Yadda yadda, real life problems aside, I'm still very glad that I decided to join the sdv community on here. Everyone's super nice as ever and while I have a lot of followers, there's still some names/icons that I recognize because I see some of you guys regularly in my notifications and I couldn't be happier about it 😤 After all this time the same people are still interested in the things I post and I'm so, so thankful for this. I know I've strayed away from making comics but that's mainly due to the fact that I tend to pull those from my real life experiences when I get inspired by something but that hasn't been the case this year. I don't know what makes you all still interested in Harvey and Coin but I'll take it. 

And as if this post hasn't been random enough already, I sometimes still think about all the support I received when I made Coin ace, that really means a lot to me. I don't know, I'm still not very open about that topic (in real life not at all) but it did encourage me to accept things that I maybe haven't in the past. 

With that being said, I'll end this post here it's way too long anyway but for everyone who made it this far, thanks. My ask box/messages are always open if you need somebody to talk to, I'm not intimidating I swear 

[katsstudykorner]

How to stop Procrastinating (and how to prevent it)

Alt title; how to stop procrastinating when the time pressure doesn’t kick your ass in motion

Alright so I asked what people wanted to see tips for, and procrastination was a request! To be honest, I’ve never been a huge procrastinator (my anxiety would make me combust), but there’s definitely been one or two times where I have.

So first, I’ll start with preventative tips.

First, make yourself a schedule, written or not. I never write my schedules down because I’m honestly too dang lazy. But I know in my head that if I have a paper due on Tuesday, I want it to be done by Sunday so that I have Monday to edit. Which means I have to start it by the Sunday before at the very latest. So essentially I always give myself a week and two days minimum to do all papers. I do the same with exams. If the exam is on Thursday August 1st, for example, I know I have to start studying by at least the week before. Mental schedules work best for me, but if you find writing it down is better write it somewhere you’ll be forced to see it, like an agenda or in your phone

Second, break things up into small parts. As someone who likes to sit down and get things done in one sitting I used to H A T E being told this. I get it. But find a way to break it down best for you. If you work better in small segments then make your goals small. Ie. if you have a 2000 word paper, do 500 words every day. That should take you only 30 min to an hour tops and then your free, and in the end it only took 4 days (maybe 5-7 if you include planning and editing) If you do better in big segments like me, break it up big. I usually go for a rough outline in one day (just the absolute basics with quotes). Then I do the final outline in a second day. Then the third day I write the essay paragraph by paragraph (I take 20 min break after each paragraph or two). The whole point is to make the essay, project, studying, or whatever seem less daunting so you’re not too nervous to start it.

Third, even when you’re not studying or working on the assignment, think about it! When you’re on the bus, on your break from work, eating lunch, waiting for an ad to be over, anything. I do this mostly for papers, but it really helps with studying too! The more you think about something outside of your studying time the more likely you are to remember it. It especially works if you talk about it with someone. I don’t know why this works, but it does. And when you do it with a paper, by the time you sit down to write it you already know what you want to convey.

Fourth, get into the habit of treating yourself. I always treat myself after handing in a paper or finishing a test or exam. Usually with something sweet and something I normally wouldn’t spend money on. But. I only do it if I feel proud of the work I’ve done. If I know I could’ve spent more time on something... no treat. It gives me something to work towards

Now onto how to STOP PROCRASTINATING

1. Take away all distractions. Use an app that locks your phone, put it in a different room, give it to a friend. Something to get it out of reach. When I really need to crunch down on something I delete all apps off my phone except for google docs and my music. Force yourself to work

2. FaceTime a friend who’s also studying. Keep in mind this won’t work if you two don’t work well together. You have to find someone who you can sit quietly with. My friend and I play a fun little game where we FaceTime and force each other to focus. When the other person is focusing you don’t want to distract them, so you do your work too.

3. If your stressed or overwhelmed, cry it out, eat, take a nap, do whatever you need to calm down. Give yourself 30min to an hour. The get over it and push through. The sooner you push through, the sooner you can relax

4. If you’re confused about something, no matter how close you are to the deadline, email the prof. Call them. Do whatever it takes. Get the answer

5. And honestly, if you’re like 3 hours away from a deadline and not even half done and you haven’t slept... give up. That sounds super pessimistic but email the prof.explain your situation and ask for an extension. Even if you don’t get an extension, give up. Take the L. Most profs dock you between 2 and 5% for being 1 day late (starting one minute after the deadline). And it doesn’t go up until 24 hours after the deadline. Ie, if the paper is due August 1 at midnight, you lose 5% for handing it in between August 1 2:01AM and August 2 12:00AM. It makes more sense to take the extra 24 hours, get some sleep, and make sure you’re writing coherent sentences than it does to hand in a rush sleepy paper. Chances are, if it’s rushed and you were half asleep while writing it, you’ll lose a lot more marks than you would for handing in a good paper late. (Obviously this doesn’t work for exams)

6. Still break things up into parts, as mentioned above, to make the task less daunting

7. For every 30 min you procrastinate, take something away from yourself. Kinda like how your parents would take things away from you when you were a kid if you misbehaved. Take things away and don’t give them back to yourself until your done

And that’s all I can think of! Please add on any other tips!

[scrambledthoughtz]

i’m so frustrated with myself. i could be so much more productive if i just set my mind to it, but i’m so unfocused nowadays. i spend hours scrolling through instagram and facebook. i told myself that i would need to snap out of it once the school year starts, but i feel like i haven’t snapped out of it yet. everyone around me is so stressed about school and their schoolwork, and i feel like i should be more stressed too. i feel like i have no sense of urgency and i put everything off until the last minute. i submitted an assignment 36 minutes late earlier this week. i’ve been told by so many people that i would feel like i would be drowning in work with the quarter system and that it’s okay to be totally stressed my first quarter. to some extent i am and i definitely recognize that the quarter system is much much much faster than the semester system. i mean it’s only week 3 and i already have a paper due today, an exam next week and midterms the week after that. i still care about my grades and want to do well in my classes. at my very core, i recognize that even one assignment has the potential to destroy my grade if i do poorly just bc of how fast-paced everything is. but i’ve barely started my essay due today and i’m starting to think that i’ve developed a massive ego while i was at Ohlone. i know i’m good at writing, so i tend to put it off bc i expect a good grade even when i haven’t put 100% effort into my papers. it doesn’t help that i received high scores on my essays that i wrote during my summer classes that i didn’t exactly pour my blood, sweat and tears in to. i have to remind myself that i’m at a top ranked UC school now. i mean i think i do tell myself that on a daily basis, but it doesn’t mean that i’m better than everyone else. it actually means that i can’t slack off and still expect a good grade anymore. everyone talks about imposter syndrome, but i feel like i’ve spent so long working toward embracing my transfer identity and transfer journey that i don’t exactly feel like an imposter. does that make me dangerously overconfident or just confident (in a good way)? i think i’ve also spent quite a bit of time interacting with other transfer students so i know that i have a community here. everyone also talks about how college students are severely sleep deprived but i always go to sleep around 9-10 pm. seriously, i think i’m incapable of staying up any later than that. actually, once it hits 9 pm my brain just shuts off and i can’t be productive anymore and that’s when the instagram / facebook  / youtube binges start. i need to find a way that extend my productivity in to the late hours. it’s either that or just accept the fact that i’m not going to be productive after a certain point at night and work harder to get my work done earlier in the day. weirdly enough, i oftentimes do the best work early in the morning right after i wake up, so maybe i should just work on grinding through my assignments then. 

nevertheless, i need to take this weekend to reset myself and to refocus myself on my goals bc i’m in this for the long haul and i can’t risk my GPA bc of unproductivity and laziness. other people have it so much worse than me. my group project partner literally Zooms from work bc he has to support his family. my friend has a big family who she has to take care of. i’m one of the lucky ones in that i have a quiet space to myself that’s conducive to learning so i shouldn’t be complaining. i have absolutely nothing to complain about. i see all these posts that are like “it’s okay to feel unproductive during a pandemic” but the hard reality is that my GPA and my scores matter. grad schools aren’t going to care about my circumstances if i don’t do well in my classes bc i have no excuse. my circumstances are pretty much freaking ideal, so i’ll have no excuse to not have done well in my classes. the fact of the matter is, it’s just laziness and me being unfocused. this weekend, i need to reorient myself and catch up with my readings and assignments and the lecture that i missed bc of one stupid essay. i can’t be missing my lectures just bc i procrastinated and had to work on one freaking essay. that literally lands me back in to my high school days where i would miss my first and second periods to study for my chemistry exams. and that is so bad. i’m not in high school anymore. i should be more mature and responsible than this. it’s only going to get tougher from here on out. this weekend, i need to find effective study strategies so that i can study for AT LEAST an hour without getting distracted. i need to regain my sense of urgency. i can’t risk failing my assignments. i need to remind myself of my goals. 

my goals are to get A’s in all of my classes this quarter, gain some valuable study skills that i can apply during the rest of my time here, learn how to work smarter not harder, learn how to effectively retain information from the (obscene) amt of readings that i need to do per week, not skip lectures bc i procrastinated. i need to gain a better sense of what my purpose is here. i’m here for a reason and i can’t waste this opportunity. i know the name of my school is big, but what’s bigger is what i did while i was here and what i’m going to do AFTER. it doesn’t matter that i went to a highly ranked school if i don’t make anything of it afterwards. ppl go to Harvard and end up unemployed and floating around afterwards. i fear uncertainty, but at the same time, i don’t know how to avoid it. 

one step at a time. time to get this essay out of the way. signing off for now. 

[wish-upon-a-sapphic-star]

616. Amazing

Remus flopped down on his bed, exhausted. Every muscle in his body was sore, screaming at him to never move again. He wished he could.

I’m too old for this shit. His dad’s voice floated through his head in its soft, rich tone. He smiled a little at the memory. Lyall Lupin would always say that whenever he was tired of dealing with his job, or his coworkers, or the government in general. God, Remus missed him.

In reality though, he was too young for this shit. Far too young. A high school junior with a full class load, several AP classes, and an internship at the Daily Bugle should not be protecting Queens from a super villain made entirely of sand, and yet here he was.

It had taken a full hour to wash the sand out of his costume, refill his web-shooters, and clean his injuries. Turned out sand in cuts was very painful. He made a mental note to fix the rips in suit and possibly find a way to put some padding around the knees.

There were some days he loved being Spider-man. When he was swinging through the streets of midtown to get to school, the wind rushing past him and a few people watching in awe, he felt on top of the world.

Today, however, was not one of those days. Today was one of those days when he wanted toss his suit in the garbage and hang up the hero’s mantle. But if he wasn’t there to protect the city, who would stop the fearsome Sandman?

He groaned. With great power comes great responsibility and all that.

Reluctantly, he forced himself into a seated position, ignoring how painful it was. If he could endure being punched in the face repeatedly by the ever-friendly Doc Oc he could endure this. Right?

All he wanted to do was sleep. But no, of course that wasn’t an option. He had an essay due for history and an AP Chem exam tomorrow, and while he probably knew all of the chemistry course material already, he really did have to write that essay. Why did Sandman have to pick today?

His mom knocked on the door. “Remus?”

He was out of bed in an instant, throwing the Spider-man costume under the bed and making sure all his injuries were covered. “Yeah?”

“Can you change into something a little nicer and come out into the living room?”

He bit back his comment about having already come out a few months ago and, begrudgingly, agreed. This didn’t sound good. He did not want to go to whatever dinner his mother had inevitably planned with her friend in which he would sit there and pretend to care about the conversation, answer a few questions about his internship where he pretended not to notice how much Jameson hated his alter ego, and then be forgotten entirely, all the while acting like he hadn’t just been almost ripped to shreds.

Still, he followed his mother’s instructions. By the time he was done, he was wearing a blue button-down shirt and his black slacks. He combed his hair a little bit to distract from the bruise slowly forming on his cheek. Remus left his room, somewhat satisfied with his appearance. He looked good enough for whatever his mom had planned.

“You remember Alphard?” his mom started, setting aside her book.

Remus gave her a look. No, no he did not remember Alphard. Who the hell was Alphard? “Who?”

“The guy we met at the March for Science last year! Well, anyway, we were talking on the phone...”

“Mom, we had one conversation with this guy. One.” This was unbelievable. He couldn’t do homework because of someone he had met one time?

“Well, he was very nice. We keep in touch.”

“What?” he asked, baffled. “How?”

“Anyway,” she said, drawing the word out for effect. “We were talking, and it turns out his nephew is around your age and he’s also gay!”

That’s it. It was official. His mother was insane. “You set up a date for me?!”

“Well, you’ve been so stressed lately I just thought it might be nice to, you know. Mingle,” she explained.

“Mom. Why in the world would you do this?”

“I’m just trying to be supportive!”

“And you can be supportive without trying to set me up with every gay guy you meet!”

“Well, we technically haven’t met...”

“Oh my God.”

No. This couldn’t be happening. He could not be going on a date when he had homework and possibly more world-saving to do.

“It will be fine,” his mother said.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you even know his name?”

“Sirius Black.”

“Oh great.” He threw his hands up in the air. “A name even stupider than mine.” This was great. Just great. Fucking fabulous.

“I’m sure you’ll like him!”

“I barely have time for homework! Why would I have time for a relationship?”

“Well,” she huffed. “Maybe if you didn’t procrastinate so much—“

“I do not procrastinate!”

“Then what are you doing? Why are you always up past 3 am?”

His throat tightened. He couldn’t tell her. Not now, not ever. If she knew, she would be in far too much danger.

The doorbell rang, saving him from having to answer that question.

He took a steadying breath, hoping he looked presentable. He opened the front door.

His jaw went slack.

Standing before him was the most beautiful man he had ever met. Remus got lost in his enchanting grey eyes, but not missing the black leather jacket or the curly hair that went down to Sirius’ shoulders. Nor the motorcycle parked outside.

Sirius folded his arms and looked Remus up and down. “Face it, Tiger,” he said, grinning. “You just hit the jackpot.”

[juupajaa]

hey!! I saw your post abt being open to giving advice and I was wondering if you have any tips on getting back into the school mindset™️. mostly just about overcoming procrastination? also ily and hope things are going great for you bby 💕💗💓💞

❤Hey things are going great thanks!! Ok let's do this!! ❤

So first things first, you gotta take care of yourself before you can get anything done. Pay attention to your sleep schedule and make sure you sleep enough and feel good about waking up. Also, eat something ffs. Drink something. You're not getting anything done while tired, hungry and dehydrated.

Getting back into School Mode is hard, but little things like buying a new cool pen or notebook can really give you a boost. Also, doing your homework will make you more comfortable at school and give you a massive boost in your confidence. The thing is... I hate homework.

Doing homework can be fecking tedious at times but u know what I did? I gave my sister a video call and we talked until I had done my homework. If you've friends or siblings or whoever you can call, it can really make it easier to get through homework if someone's doing it with you and I noticed I learned better when I did homework with my sister. Once you start doing homework, you'll feel better about going to class bc you come prepared and you're doing better than the slackers at the back of the class.

Speaking of that, if you can choose where you sit in the classroom try the front seat. I mean it, just try it. I used to sit in the back for the longest time until one day I realized that I can't hear anything anymore so I moved to the front and u know what? Legit, the best seat in the house. The teachers don't give a damn about the front row, they're always keeping an eye on what's going on in the back. Also, you can hear and focus a lot better if you sit up front bc all the noisy people are behind you and the teacher right in front of you. Also, if you know an answer to a question your teacher asks, fecking answer it. Raise your hand the feck up and tell it like it is.

Sometimes it gets really crowded in school life and you have like a billion exams, essays, assignments, presentations and homework to do. When that happens the easiest way to not freak out and give up is to make a to do list. Make it for a whole week if you have to. Write down every task in the order that they have to be returned/done. Do the most urgent things first and don't stress too much about them. Then do the easy things and lastly take on the ones that you might need emotional support for and don't be afraid to ask for it if you can't get through them on your own. Take breaks, don't try to get everything done in one day and for the love of god remember to compliment and reward yourself when you get to scratch one task off of your list.

Now let's talk about assignments!

When you get an assignment, the first step is to write down the due date. If you use your phone's calendar, mark down thw date and if you're very bad at checking your calendar, put down another alarm for week prior to your due date, so you remember that you have to actually do something.

Second step is to write down the instructions. Whatever assignment you've given, write the instructions down on paper, maybe your notebook. You don't have to know what you're doing yet, just make sure you know the instructions right away so it's not all brand new when you eventually start working on the assignment.

Ok so now you've slacked off for a few weeks and your alarm goes off. Oh feck u have the assignment due in a week. Well at least you had a heads up. You don't feel like doing it yet bc you've still a week left. How about you do the smallest thing imaginable? Open your laptop and open that new file. No need to even name it yet, just leave it open and go watch TV or something. Before you go to bed, check that empty file again and if you have any ideas as to what you should write on it, just spam them on there. Eye through the instructions again if they're not very fresh in your memory. Write the main topic on the file too, so it's always there. I recently had an essay to write and the topic had several questions that needed answers, so I wrote them all on the file and gave a rough short answer to all of them and that was pretty much my rough first draft. Ok now go to bed, but save the file first.

The next day you might not feel like doing anything but keep the file open just in case. At some point you will start to feel like you really need to write that shit down, and thankfully, your file is still right there, you dont even have to open it. Do the best you can. It doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to give your arm for this stupid fecking assignment, but you have to finish it.

This was a long ass answer but hopefully it was worth it! Remember, school is not worth a burnout, no matter how much it tries to be 😎😎😎 Health always comes first.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Happy Famlies

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: This AU is exactly what is sounds like. Everyone gets a happy family. 

Feat. Dadmight, and his sons Izuku and Tenko, Big Bro Dabi with his little bro, Shinson and his Dadzawa.

allmight n inko end up dating and tenko n izu are brothers

dabi and tenko are third year ua herocourse students when izu and the others join

tenko is a soft sunshine boy cause izu rubbed off on him a lot

dabi wants to be an underground hero so he'll never be like his father

todoroki takes the entrance exam so inasa and hitoshi are recommendation students

izuku kills the exam because he starts ua being able to use full cowl 5%, breaking allmights record with a whopping 130 points

because consider dabi, shouto, izu, tenko and hitoshi all singing karaoke together, dabi has a tambourine and tenko is violently shaking maracas

izuku and inko dont know toshi is allmight, but tenko and toshi are terrible liars

the first time toshi meets izuku its just tenko presenting him saying "you gotta give it to him dad"

izu is only 5 n still broken up about having no quirk, toshi says he might just be a late bloomer while tenko nods

toshi sneaks izuku his quirk when he turns 7, izuku wakes up n accidentally punches a hole in the ceiling, he n katsuki make up cause izuku has a bomb ass quirk even if it does break his bones

he and inko just think he was a late bloomer cause his quirk was so strong. tenko and toshi highfive

seven year old izuku walking back into his house like mom i broke both my arms again :(((

katsuki actually helps him work out the flick thing

"it breaks my arms!" "then use less you dumb fuck!" "oh yeah actually thank you"

they’re so used to shouting criticisms while sparring that they still do it after they enter ua

when they spar at the sports festival mic can’t get a word of commentary in bc it’s just a constant slew of

“kACCHAN I TOLD U TO STOP LEADING WITH UR RIGHT”

“SHIITY DEKU IF U LAND LIKE THAT UR GONNA BREAK UR LEGS”

dabi n tenko the third years can hear them in their own stadium. tenko is cheering softly, dabi has a heart attack when he sees the walls of ice

izu has a massive handshapped scar on his wrist from when tenko saved him by pulling him out of the way of a car

he doesnt mind it but it makes tenko sad so he wears a lil cuff over it

tenko snuck in to watch the entrance exam he n toshinori are cheering quietly, the other teachers just sigh

izuku broke allmights record for points scored in the entrance exam but hes still scared he failed

tenko wants to s c r e a m

USJ ANGST TIME

starts as normal students enter, villains arrive kurogiri has an ear piece and is talking with afo directly, some of the 8 prefects goons are there too

hitoshi used his quirk on kurogiri to find out who they are, but is targeted after that and the villains know not to respond

the students are scattered, its izu/tsuyu and hitoshi. they do the whirlpool thing w/o the sitcking, hitoshi instructs them to tread water and not to move

hitoshi is nearing quirk overuse, tsuyu is shaken, izu is pretty much ok

aizawa is fighting the villains as normal, the nomu arrives

hitoshi tries to mind control the nomu, kurogiri attempts to direct one of the nomus punches to hitoshi, aizawa cancels the portal, severing one of the nomus arms. its grows back, aizawa is beaten

izuku charges forward, fighting the nomu with a higher percentage of full cowl than he can safely use but they are evenly matched

todoroki shows up, cant help because the two are moving so fast he cant aim his quirk and not hit mido

he and hitoshi keep kurogiri busy

before allmight arrives, dabi and tenko do, after seeing tenya running towards the school

izuku can barely move, over using his quirk to the point that he has countless micro fractures and the nomu has landed a few punches, and he took others to protect aizawa

tenko yells at dabi to grab izuku, kurogiri mentions that his master killed tenkos family and hes pissed

he cant stand up to the nomu but shouto makes an opening and he and dabi try to damage it as best they can, shouto has to hold izuku down to stop him from joining the fight again

allmight arrives, quickly dispatches the nomu, turns on Kurogiri

so tenko, allmight and a shaky izu are all facing down kurogiri while afo is trying to convince him to keep fighting

reinforcements arrive and kuro nopes out

as soon as the portal closes, izuku collapses and tenko n allmight rush over, shouto is grabbing onto dabi and hitoshi is trying to get aizawa to respond

hitoshi, crying, has to ask dabi to pick up his dad because his arms are shaking to bad hes scared he might drop him

tenko has no gloves anymore and he cant touch izuku and hes just lost, shouto wraps an arm around him and hitoshi n they cry as dabi takes aizawa and allmight takes izuku to recovery girl

aizawa n izu in the same hospital, hitoshi tells him what izuku did n aizawa fucking, breaks out of bed like a jackass to call him a problem child then fucking limps back

less depressingly, happy families dabi and tenko do "get help" from Thor Ragnarok

"gET heLP hEs BUrnINg UP"

aizawa : "kids that movie is like 240 years old"

izuku : "so... you know it then?"

aizawa: "fuck"

nighteye and gran torino are izuku and tenko's terrible uncles

he stars school at 5%, internships is 10%, camp gets him up to 15% so hes around 25% at the eri rescue

ochako being a terrible influence on kirishima

“uraraka i like katsuki. what do”

“push it down”

“what”

“pUSH UR FEELINGS Down”

also happy families shouto actually interns w nighteye n izu because dabi said he was an ass so no death thanks

one person asks izuku what his quirk is

he pauses

"aaaaaaaaaa"

"hm"

"my mum has minor levitation and my dad is quirkless"

izuku pauses again.

"wait"

"wait im not toshis biologically"

"waiT Who WAs My FirST Dad?"

shouto thinks inko has an affair w allmight then married his secretary but izuku met toshinori through tenko so he just lays down on the floor and screams

shouto’s brain is going to explode one day

consider tenko and izuku looking soft and pure but you turn around and suddenly you dont have a wallet and your food is gone

happy family izuku and kastuki were eachothers first kiss but in a dumb ass way

izuku was like "i need to ruin my frist kiss so the next one will be better"

"wow me too, you seem like the worlds worst option!"

"cool!"

they both almost gagged afterwards

tenko walked in on them violently scrubbing their lips

“wow katsuki who was ur first kiss”

bakugou stares off fondly into the distance

“deku :))”

"it was fucking terrible" wistful sigh

izuku, blushing happily: “id never do it again”

izuku: "yeah i scrubbed my face until it bleed so none of my skin would be tainted"

first week of 1a, someone asking izuku if he and katsuki are/were dating so izuku asks ochako to launch him into the sun

no matter how many people they date everyone always insists that katsuki and izuku are dating each other

izuku is actually dating shouto but no one believes him for some reason

dabi and hitoshi find it so funny

please consider dabi being the frontrunner of these rumours, like these random first years will come up to izuku while he’s eating lunch with shouto and they’ll be in t e a r s

“wHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON BAKUGOU SENPAI?”

izuku starts crying

shouto, totally deadpan: "i thought our love was real, izu-chan"

izuku wheezes

they have a katsudeku fan club and shouto’s the mascot

dabi is in it. hes a full hero at this point but nezu gave him a pass so he could attend

they have weekly meetings

it’s dabi, shouto, kirishima and like twenty first year girls from every class

shouto, in a deadpan voice: “good morning girls today i saw katsuki and izuku sharing bread. discuss”

kirishima is one of the most popular fanartists

tenko loves the meme but looking at his brother and bakugo “dating” makes him deeply upset so he breaks in to decay all the art on the walls once a week

he crowds shouto in tears one day

“how are you okay with your boyfriend and your classmate being the subjects of such horrid art”

shouto, deadpan: “it’s just a prank bro”

izuku falls asleep in the common room and toshi carries him back to his room and has to call tenko to unlock the door for him. tenko was in his own dorm on the other side of school.

he sprinted

iida the good boy finishes his essays the week before and hands them in a day early

izuku, the hot mess, procrastinates by training until he cant feel his arms and doing any other subject work than the stuff due, stays up till 4am to finish his essay and doesnt go back to sleep cause its time for his morning run

they get the same grades

no one knows izuku is a hot mess

Dabi is like izuku but he doesnt study hes just depressed

Tenko finishes his the day before but he gets izuku to read it over

shouto does his essays in class

aizawa wants to be mad but he remembers him mic n tensei distracting the teachers for as long as they can to violently finish their essays

“katsuki why didn’t you finish your essay”

“i was making oreos from scratch sensei”

"fair, give me some and you can hand in it wednesday"

he bribes every single teacher into giving him extensions and no one can refuse him bc his extra spicy curry is to die for. he maybe sometimes he helps deku get an extension too but if he does that’s no one else’s business but his

izuku acts so soft w the others "oh isnt kacchans food so good? "

but he climbs into through katsukis window

"bitch whats the recipe"

izuku banging on katsuki s window at five in the morning: “kacchan give me ur fucking curry recipe you promised it to me three years ago”

bakugos hands shake as he tries to call aizawa

“i see u calling sensei kacchan, put the phone down and no one gets hurt”

he has one of katsukis limited editing all might figurines in his hand

“give me the recipe and all might lives katsuki. it doesn’t have to end this way”

shouji, stressed and sleep deprived walks into bakugou’s room just to see izuku menacingly trying to force his way in while bakugou is crying

[declassifieducdsurvivalguid-blog]

The Truth About Final Year & Graduating  College

I’m currently a second year UCD student and will be graduating from college next year. Do you have any advice for someone going into final year?

With the end of final year (thankfully) in sight, I’ve been thinking recently about how it all began. There are some moments I know I’ll never forget. No matter how hard I’ve tried.

I remember taking up boxing in first year. I was excited to try something different… that and my brothers, who both boxed for UCD, had warned that I would disgrace the family name if didn’t follow in their footsteps as D1 and D2 and accept my fate as D3. Let’s just say, that becoming the next Katie Taylor wasn’t quite on the cards for me. I didn’t even last a minute into my first sparring match before I lost my footing and absolutely floored myself.

And I haven’t stepped into another boxing ring since.

A lot of things can change in four years. But college knocking me out isn’t one of them.

Let’s be honest: being a final year student isn’t easy for anyone and there’ll be times when you feel like throwing in the towel. While I may not have the answers to all the questions, here’s what I’ve got so far:

#1 Why am I like this?

Assignments, presentations, group projects and exams all around the corner and yet there I am, sitting in the library, taking a quiz to find out which character I’m most like from Derry Girls...

And anyone who knows me, knows I’m most definitely a Clare.

But we all have our moments of feeling in a bit of funk, struggling to muster up the motivation to finish the semester or looking at your list-to-do like…

So, when final year exams are looming, stress levels are rising exponentially and you’re not sure where or how to start, I’ve got one word for you: Pomodoro.

Pomodoro is something I only came across recently, but it has become my go-to study tip for combatting chronic bouts of procrastination. Pomodoro in a nutshell?

1. Set aside 25 minutes to work on a task (that you probably should have started over the two weeks break but we are where we are), put away all distractions and just do it.

2. Once the 25 minutes are up, get up and take a 5-10 minutes break.

3. Rinse and repeat.

By taking regular breaks, you’re coming back each time refreshed and ready to power through, your productivity looking something like this…

And that’s it: 25 minutes study, 5-10 minutes break. Until your break turns into an hour and half queue for free ice-cream...

It’s all about balance, really. Which brings me to my next point…

#2 hAve yOu nOt bEeN dOinG tHe rEaDinGs?

Sometimes, it’ll seem like no matter what you do, you’re always behind. And when you finally feel somewhat on top of things, you open up the group Google doc…and die a little inside.

I’m going to be honest, you’ll reach a point (s) in the semester when the stress of final year and the reality of graduating will hit you and you’re just like…

But listen, you’ll get through it. You’ll get around to the readings, you’ll write the essay, you’ll sit the exam. Even when you rock up to the RDS with fours sleep, get your seat number wrong and almost go into cardiac arrest when you’re handed an engineering paper (if you read my last blog, you’ll know that shapes are not my thing). In short: you’ll survive.

If you’re feeling stressed out and need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to check out the UCD Student Health Service and UCD Student Counselling Service or reach out to your Student Adviser or the SU’s Welfare Officer.

#3 So, what are your plans for next year?

If you’ve read my last blog (you can read it here), you’ll also know that I haven’t had much luck on the graduate jobs front so far. I still haven’t figured it all out yet. And maybe you’re in the same boat, not sure what job or masters to pursue or quite frankly, what exactly you want to do with your life after college. Sometimes there’s a pressure to have all the answers and when you can’t see yourself following a certain path, you can be left standing there, thinking… well, where do I go now? But with time, you’ll see there’s not only four (big) directions you can go in. So, if you’re feeling lost, don’t worry – you’ll find your way. 

Truth is, nothing’s going to hit you as hard as life. But if I’m to give you any bit of advice for final year or college that I’ve learned from my time in UCD, it’s this: when life knocks you down, you get right back into the ring and keep fighting.

Going into final year and want to know what to expect? Have any advice of your own for final years and future college graduates? Any standout moments from your final year recap? Send in your thoughts, questions and experiences - I’d love to hear from you!

[academiceve]

My Study Tips // How I Improved My Grades and Got Straight A’s

This post will consist of study tips and techniques that I have learned throughout university that allowed me to receive straight A’s both semesters my senior year. Long story short, during my final year at university I wanted to improve my GPA and receive good grades in all of my courses. I aimed for an A in all of them and managed to get straight A’s both semesters, as well as end up on the student honors list for having a high semester GPA. I hope that these tips can help improve your grades, but straight A’s are never guaranteed (please keep this in mind). Also, I will be sharing with you all of my study tips (tested for 4 years at university), as well as tips that I learned in my cognitive psychology course about memory and learning. Keep reading if you’re interested in SLAYING this semester!

1. Set GOALS. I have a post already up on how to set SMART goals at the beginning of a new a semester. Click HERE to read it. I also have a guide sharing tips how I prepare for a new semester, click HERE to read it. 

2. LECTURES. Attend all lectures, workshops, tutorials, classes, labs, etc. If you’re a full time student, you shouldn’t make excuses to skip lectures. Before lectures, I would skim assigned textbook readings or look through uploaded PowerPoint slides to have a general idea about the topic, what will be taught, what I should pay more attention to, etc. You will already be familiar with the material and this will allow you to ask questions, summarize key information, anticipate what will be featured in the exam.

3. Learn from DAY 1. My biggest tip for studying and surviving university, is that you need to start learning from day 1 and then build up your knowledge throughout the years. The first few lectures of any major are usually the core of that major, so you have to know those subjects and topics well. Then, your knowledge will build on a strong foundation, which will make learning easier. So start learning from day 1, keep up with new material and you will see that as exams approach, you will be less stressed about not knowing anything. 

4. HOMEWORK. At my university, we would be frequently assigned a lot of homework, so I always made sure I had everything done. Sure, there were times where I would skim through readings or half-ass assignments, but the key here is to know the importance of each assignment. Sometimes, while doing homework I would get carried away and research the topics to learn more about them, because it would help me understand it better. It really depends on the assignment. Another reason why doing homework is crucial is because often professors throw in homework questions in exams. By practicing trying to solve problems you’re already doing yourself a favor, because practice makes perfect. 

5. REVIEW. After lectures, I would review freshly learned materials at home. I would finish taking notes from slides, research what I didn’t understand, as well as look up answers to my questions (if the professor didn’t answer them). I would also study the material. Repetition of studying information over and over again is great for retention, as YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE MATERIALS AND BE ABLE TO APPLY IT. Don’t memorize it, know it! (this is honestly the biggest key to success!)

6. EXAMS. For exams, I would make study guides from chapter readings that cover the necessary information. I would either fill in a pre-made study guide handed out to us by our professors, or I would create one. I would include terms and definitions, key concepts, key research, theories, examples, etc. A quick tip is to make study guides from slides and then add extra information anywhere necessary from the readings. Keep in mind that your study guide’s should include only important information, don’t get carried away! Then I would only study from those study guides, which usually worked well for multiple choice exams. For essay based exams, I would ask professors for topics that we can expect on the exams and write them out at home. I would then learn from those essays. This methods helps you have coherent thoughts, arrange arguments, etc. 

7. PROJECTS. I would start working on projects (group presentations, individual presentations, etc.) at least a week in advance, just because I’m a perfectionist and a visual learner, which means that I wanted my slides to be PERFECT. Nice slides can help your earn good grades! I would choose a slide design style, 2-3 fonts (max), 2-3 colors (max) and would stick to them. I would also include funny photos (memes are really popular if they suit the topic!) or gifs. As for information, I would keep it short and summarized on the slides, and if I needed to expand on a certain point, I would be able to do that on my own. Don’t put a lot of text on your slides, nobody likes to read them (Unless it’s a very official presentation, your professor asked you to, etc.). If you have a good sense of humour, you can throw in some jokes during your presentation (in my case sarcasm wasn’t for everyone, but at least my friends found it funny!). Take the time to prepare a nice presentation, practice presenting in your room, because it is an easy way to earn good grades. 

8. PAPERS. I would also start working on papers at least a week in advance, this usually depended on the lenght of the paper and the topic. I would research articles that I could include first and make a bibliography list. Then I would read those articles, which could take up 2-3 days if I was busy and had to work on other assignments. Afterwards, I would start writing, one paragraph at a time (this approach worked on harder/longer papers or a boring topic). Sometimes I would word vomit all of my ideas and then read through it and edit the paper. However, if I could, I would always try to choose an interesting topic and I would always discuss them with my professors beforehand, because they could recommend readings or help with generating ideas for arguments, etc. 

9. STUDY GROUPS. Studying with friends or a group of students from your class can be different and fun, as well as beneficial for receiving that A. I would utilize study groups before mid-terms and finals, but always make sure to study on your own first and only then attend a study group. Once you know the material well, you can meet up with your friends/peers and teach each other concepts that you still can’t quite grasp. You know you’ve learned a topic well if you can teach it to other people and them being able to understand what you are teaching. Otherwise, study groups can be distracting and a great excuse to procrastinate. 

10.  PROFESSORS. Your professors are a wonderful resource of knowledge, so use them! Attend their office hours, ask questions, discuss any problems or issues that you’re having in their lecture after class. Don’t be afraid to approach them, because they’re a great ally for your success! They always notice students who go above and beyond to learn and do well at university! Trust me, they talk behind students backs as much as students gossip about professors! They can also offer you amazing opportunities afterwards, when doing research, working on dissertations, etc. I was recently offered a volunteer lab assistant position, to help out one of my professors, even though I already graduated. So network with your professors, they will help you out!

11. LEARNING STYLE. It would be useful for you to know what’s your learning style. Visual, auditory, read & write or kinesthetic. You can read about it more in detail HERE. I’m a visual learner, so I would include graphs, drawings, schemes, etc. in my notes, in order to retain information better. Discovering your learning style could help you improve your studying habits! 

COGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGY AND LEARNING. Below you will find the tips for studying that I learned during my cognitive psychology course. 

It’s easier to remember information you can interpret in the context of things you already know. You will remember textbook material better if you take the time to scan a chapter first, to get a sense of the major points, before reading the chapter in detail. This is also the reason why professors ask students to read chapters before class, so that the students’ minds are prepared to encode and remember the information presented in the lecture. 

The more deeply you analyze information, the more likely you are to remember it later. This is known as depth of processing. Experiments have shown that people remember words better if they’re formed to think about the meaning of words, rather than simply memorizing them. 

The best way to prepare for a test is by processing the material in a way that is similar to how you expect to be tested on it: making the study and recall format as similar as possible. 

More cues mean better recall. Free recall is when you are simply asked to generate the information from memory. Cued recall is when you are given some kind of a prompt. Recognition is when you pick out the correct answer from a list of possible options. Many students prefer to take exams with questions involving multiple choice (recognition test) rather than essays (free-recall test). Professors know this too, so they design multiple choice questions to include alternative answers that can easily be mistaken for the correct response if the student hasn’t studied the material closely. 

I hope you found the information included in this post helpful. If you would like to read more from me, click HERE to see other blog posts! You can also follow my studygram HERE for some inspiration! 

ALSO, I found this video that I thought would be useful, so check it out for more advice! Click HERE. 

[biopsychs]

What I Learned From University (1st Year)

FIRST YEAR

Everyone is super friendly, especially in the first few weeks → Introduce yourself to the people sitting near you for the first few weeks of lectures. Everyone is looking for a friend or at least someone to talk to!!

If you commute, make that time productive → My bus ride was an hour there and back each day. It sucks but I would try to be productive for at least half of the commute. I have a post about being productive on public transport here.

On that note, stay on campus as long as possible each day → As soon as I got back home I would procrastinate every little thing. Stay in an already productive environment for as long as possible.

Maybe don’t buy your textbooks used → I thought I was being smart by buying used textbooks (most schools will have a buy and sell facebook page for textbooks). I ended up having to pay for access codes in order to do my online homework – access codes that cost ~$70 separately and came included with new textbooks anyways. Email your prof or talk to someone who has recently taken the class to find out if you need an access code. If you do, your best bet is to buy a new version of the textbook (unless you can get a seriously cheap used textbook).

Print off your timetable and find all of your classes before the first day → This helped me so much! I found exactly where all my classes were before the first day of class. I wrote down little tricks to help me remember where everything was (i.e. my calc lecture is in the arts and science building which is also where the only subway on campus is).

Don’t knock living at home to save money → If you’re lucky enough to have a college or university close to home at least consider living at home. Getting your own place or living in dorms is expensive. (But if you have to find off campus housing on your own, don’t leave it too late or you might not find a place)

Figure out the best way to take notes for each class → You have to customize the way you study for each class, all depending on the prof and the content. I hand-wrote notes for some classes (chem, calc, and physics), but not others (psych and bio). If you’re writing by hand you can always just annotate your textbook notes or lecture slides (if they’re posted before class). If you fall behind while taking notes, just leave a gap and check out a friend’s notes after class.

Adjust your expectations → Don’t expect to get straight A’s, like you might have in high school. You can strive for straight A’s but be realistic as time goes on. For classes I struggled with, I expected to be near the class average. If I was a lot lower than the class average then I would know to invest more time.

Make time for physical activity → If we’re being honest I hardly exercised during uni. Go for at least a half hour walk each day and try to start a physical activity routine. Get a friend and join a sports team, go to a fitness class, or commit to some form of a daily workout with them! You’ll feel bad bailing on someone else, plus working out is more fun with other people.

Review content throughout the semester → Reviewing little bits of content will save you a massive content review right before finals! Look through old notes while you wait for your daily coffee or take 15 minutes to watch some khan academy videos on stuff you learned in the first month of classes.

Think seriously about how much you can handle → Don’t take on too many responsibilities at once and consider all of your options! I worked weekends and some week nights throughout the school year. Looking back I should have worked less because my stress levels were way too high. Also, quite a few people I talked to took 4 classes instead of 5, for their first semester of university. I don’t think I would have done it, in the end, but it’s always something to consider.

Have fun but be responsible at parties → Always go to parties with people you trust!! If you didn’t do much partying/drinking during high school (like me), remember to pace yourself when drinking! Eat before you go out and have some water between each drink, till you find your limit. Don’t let yourself be peer-pressured into anything but also don’t be afraid to have fun! And check out if your uni has a safe walk program (someone will come and walk you back to your dorm or your car if you feel unsafe or nervous for any reason)

When procrastination hits, aim to be productive in some way → The only reason my biology mark was so high was because I would study biology whenever I got sick of studying for physics and calculus. If you know you need to study but just can’t do it, start by being productive in some other way – study a subject you do like, do your laundry, organize your study area, etc. Get your brain to start thinking productively.

Labs are difficult so be prepared → I had so many labs first year. Some tips: eat and hydrate before labs, never assume you can finish your prelab last minute, be nice to your lab partner, always remember lab safety (don’t be the person trying to wear shorts in the lab, TAs will not hesitate to kick you out), don’t rush through an experiment but be efficient, and ask for help (even if you feel like you’re bothering your TA).

Please go to bed early. Sleep affects everything → I was so dumb and would never go to bed early even though I had to be up at 6 am almost every day to catch the bus. Lack of sleep will catch up to you eventually!! Also, all nighters are not necessary, unless you make them necessary. I prioritized and never had to stay awake too late. And never pull an all nighter the night before an exam (you’re better off getting sleep and resting your brain).

Bring a water bottle everywhere → Buy a decent water bottle and always carry it with you. Even though my uni is small there are still tons of spots around campus where I can refill my water bottle!! Stay hydrated my friends!

A practice problem a day keeps the F away → This saying probably works best for science classes, but I guess a reading a day will get you somewhere too. Do something for every class each day, even if it’s just a practice problem or a quick reading. Develop a routine!

You’ll have lots of midterms → I was under the impression that midterms happened just once a semester (I thought I would have one week where I had a midterm for each class). That was not my reality. I had 2 or 3 midterms for each of my classes scattered throughout the semester. Study really hard for your first set of midterms till you get used to the high expectations!

Don’t worry about what other people are doing or thinking → This is mostly in regards to social media. I was bummed when I looked back on my first year of university, because I felt like I hadn’t done anything fun compared to other people. You only see the image that other people want you to see. You don’t know how hard someone worked or how hard they didn’t work. Just focus on you and how you can affect positive results in your life.

Other people literally don’t care about your appearance → My friend’s little sister visited campus and asked us “Why is everyone wearing sweatpants?” People literally don’t care. Dress nice and put lots of makeup on one day, because you feel like it, and wear sweats the next day.

Start essays and reports as soon as possible → You never know what might come up so be prepared for the worst! Outline your essay or graph your data as soon as you can.

Eat healthy and do meal prep → You can eat healthy during university! Set aside a couple of nights each week to do meal prep. Cook food in bulk to save money and don’t eat out too much. Try to have at least 1 serving of fruits or veggies with each meal or snack you eat!

Find a good study spot on campus → Explore your campus and figure out your favourite places to study. I had a couple of spots where I would always meet my friends to study and quiet spots where no one would bother me. Studying outside or in an area with natural light is always good.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your profs and TAs → This is the number one thing I’m going to try to do more of in my second year. TAs are chill to talk to and they can tell you tons of useful information on what upper year classes are like, which professors are good, why they chose to go to grad school, etc. If you’re struggling in lectures or labs, talk to your prof or TA! Make an appointment and be sure you can tell them exactly which concepts you’re struggling with or at least where you got lost. One of my profs told us he just waits hopefully during office hours for someone to come in. (Also profs love it if you ask them about their research or any topics they seem passionate about during lectures.)

Explore all the resources your university has to offer → My university has a program that is basically people bringing their dogs around for students to pet, in order to relieve stress. It actually works and gave me something to look forward to! Just be aware of your options so that if something in your life changes you know where you can go to ask for help.

Get a planner and utilize it → There’s no excuse not to have a planner of some sort. Use your phone, get a bullet journal, or buy a cheap planner. Have somewhere where you can record important deadlines and make to do lists. I also recommend back planning all of your studying at the beginning of the semester. Write down your midterms and finals dates and write down how much you’re going to study each day leading up to the exam. This way you’ll be able to look ahead at each month and figure out what needs to be done (i.e. getting an essay done early because the due date falls during a busy week of midterms)

This post ended up being a lot longer than I expected whoops. Take the things I said into consideration but remember that everyone’s experience will be different. Good luck to everyone heading to university!

My Other Posts:

AP lit tips

high school biology

organization tips

physics doesn’t have to suck: how to enjoy and do well in your required physics classes

recommended reads

reminders for myself

using your time wisely on public transport

what i learned from high school

[kyunsies]

hi mädch tis 🌱 anon again :)) how are you? i'm writing this during a break between classes

LOL yeah sometimes i think mbb twt is a headache but i haven't engaged w stan twt in a while,, usually i follow translators, fansites and cc's so my experience on kpoptwt is v diff from the typical stan twt user,, drama makes my head ache and i use the mute button a LOT haha. aside from that being on twt+tumblr is p chill despite it being kinda lonely cause i don't have a lot of mbb friends irl+online (most irl kpop stan friends are arm*es haha) so i send stuff to a close friend that puts up w me :')) (+ @changkyun show us your face you cryptic)

long haired changkyun my beloved <3 but also his red hair was so so cute :( it might be my favourite "non-natural" colour on him,, but black/natural is superior. i think that hair definitely makes a difference in your appearance + ur vibes. esp w hyungwon his long hair gave him this mysterious + enigmatic vibe and when he cut it the bread cheeks were more pronounced,, soft bean

it does feel kind of good to be done w high school!! esp cause i feel like this year was especially long. i had intense courseloads at the beginning and end (so the middle was kinda chill) but i finished the ib without having to do exams so i'm forever thankful for that :'))) i have definitely felt very stressed at times during hs. and i agree!! the expectations in high school are quite unrealistic, and w the pandemic it's really easy to feel overwhelmed and burnt out all the time. it didn't help that the program i was in was pretty rigourous/intense. absolutely no time for myself unless i was procrastinating,, which i did a lot. very much looking forward to some sort of fresh start in uni though, even if i think my first year is gonna be stressful (STEM major ahah). @ the uni i chose, the first year is "designed" to weed ppl out,, if that makes sense. that being said, v much looking forward to the summer because i will FINALLY have time to do whatever i want and not have to focus on a math essay like last year T^T.

and for the ask game, let's do chungha! idk much abt her but i really liked the song she did w rich brian (88rising - these nights)

hi sweetheart 💖💖💖 sorry i’m late to this bubbie i saw it right away but i wanted to give u a well thought out response when work was done so i’m done for the day now :)

yeah seriously like i don’t mean to be a twt hater all the time but that app literally gives me the sh*ts when i go on there MFNJFF i get so anxious going on there :( i literally only follow like 20 ppl on there and honestly i might start unfollowing again HHH my twt is such a flop i just rt and bookmark things 🥲 but i also really relate to the second part babe tumblr tho it’s really chill and i love it, it does get quite lonely at times :( but i want u to know thag this place will always be a home to you and u can talk to me whenever you’d like okay !!!!!

also YES :((((( i don’t think my manifesting is working ….. really thought he was going to drop the selca today :( but !!!! i still have hope hehe i have a feeling it’s coming soon !!! 🥺 i also really liked his red hair too i think it was a really good look for him, i also adored his purple hair for fantasia era too 💖 wish he had it for longer !!! his undercut for Fantasia era was soooo pretty :( but ……. i kinda wanna see what he would look like with blonde hair again KDNKDJD i know ppl think he would look “dirty/unkept” with blonde hair but i would like to at least see it ONE MORE TIME LOLOLOL <3 i do think his black hair is absolutely superior too tho :)

i’m sure it feels so nice to be done hun !!! i’m so proud of you 🥺 high school was v tiring for me bc i pushed myself to take rigorous classes and then my sport had me out until about 7/8pm every night so it was just so hard to get my hw done at a reasonable time :( but especially with the field you’re going in stem it’s really tough … but you can do it !!!! you’ll find your grove <3 and i feel the whole weening ppl out tho, bc i’m a nursing major our uni’s policy is that if you have anything below a B (80%) in your nursing classes you get kicked out so i’m always stressed about my grades 😭 you will be fine, okay?

AND SKDJJD OKAY !!! miss chungha my queen <3

chungha

my first impression of her : diva 👀 KNDJD i wasn’t sure about her she looked really scary but my first ever song i heard was snapping and i LOVED it !!!!

what i think her best era was : either gotta go or the era with her pre-release (stay tonight + play!!)

what i love about her : she is unlike any other female soloist !!!! her dancing is u matched truly she can be dainty but her down too she’s incredible … she’s a huddled !!! the gal never rests KDJKD and her voice is absolutely stunning 🥺

[aliciameade]

I've always wanted to see a writing of Bechloe as the song If I Could Tell Her off of the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack.

I hate you for submitting this and I hate myself for picking it but this song murders my soul. (Here is the song.)

There was nothing like Beca’s smile.

It was perfect. And awkward. And real.

Chloe remembers the first time she saw it - a sarcastic snarky smirk at learning of the concept of a cappella being “a thing.” Beca thought it absurd that music could or should be made without, well, music.

And Chloe understands once she finds out that Beca’s true love in life is music.

Beca smiles a lot once they get to know one another. There are a few weeks, at the beginning of their friendship, when Beca holds back. Chloe can tell she’s being cautious, keeping Chloe at arm’s length, being reserved with her emotions lest she is perceived as vulnerable. Or a nerd.

But once she does smile - one so pure and real and free - it made Chloe feel so wonderful she nearly cried. Because she’d been the one to make Beca smile.

And for a long time, Beca only smiles at Chloe.

They spend a lot of time together; they have to, now that Chloe’s managed to get her into her rag-tag group. Beca understands why Chloe loves a cappella and adjusts her viewpoint that music is better with instruments.

And Beca’s always the first to tune out while Aubrey’s lecturing the group about proper breathing techniques, usually doodling on the soles of her shoes and cuffs of her jeans. Though she never doodles when Chloe’s the one lecturing.

No one seems to notice. Except Chloe.

Chloe notices everything about Beca. Her smile, her laugh, her preference for one bracelet over the other, how almost every Friday she wears worn-out Converse instead of boots like she does Monday through Thursday, as though it’s her own version of Casual Friday. She sees the way Beca struggles to open up to people and can tell she wants a good relationship with her father but is afraid to try.

There was one day - December 4th - that Beca slumped into the desk next to Chloe in the one class they had together (an intro Accounting course) and Beca had changed her hair. Not just changed it, but had bleached highlights into her hair and then dyed them blue. It was probably done as some type of rebellion - against her father, against Aubrey’s strict dress code - but Chloe found it stunning. It brought out the color of her eyes in a way she’d never seen.

“You look really pre - I mean, that looks pretty cool, Bec.”

“What? Oh, thanks,” she replied, pushing her hands through the brunette and blue hair that Chloe longed to touch.

But they were friends. Not that Chloe couldn’t just tell her she was pretty - she tells all her friends they’re pretty.

But telling Beca that she’s pretty feels different. So she keeps it to herself.

It’s at the end of the year, at a party celebrating their ICCA win, that they’re at a club in New York - most of them underage but Chloe (against Aubrey’s wishes) bought them liquor to pregame - and Beca’s almost a different person.

Not in a bad way.

But for the first time in the seven months she’s known her, Beca’s let her figurative hair down and is dancing in public like she usually only does with Chloe in the privacy of her bedroom when they needed to blow off steam.

She still remembers Beca’s smile the first time Chloe finally goaded her into jumping around her room to Kris Kross’s “Jump” when Beca had been on the verge of a breakdown over a Psychology essay she’d procrastinated.

She wonders if it’s those private dance parties in her bedroom with Beca that helped her be able to let loose now.

She tries not to think about the fact that in her elation of winning, Beca ran into the audience and kissed Jesse when Chloe had wanted to turn and jump into Beca’s arms and kiss her. She pretends that he’s not in that club on the receiving end of Beca’s release. She tries not to look, but it’s hard not to when Beca keeps grabbing her and pulling her over to join them.

Because Beca wants to dance with Chloe, too.

She tries not to analyze the fact that Beca alters her life plan to stay with Chloe - or rather, with the Bellas - after that first year.

She also doesn’t think about why she “forgets” to show up for her Russian Literature final exam.

She tries not to hold Beca too close when they fall asleep together in Chloe’s bed night after night.

She tries not to think about the fact that Beca comes to her first when she is upset or stressed out or needs advice.

She tries not to think about what it means that Beca confides in her and no one else about her father.

She tries not to think about how Chloe’s never known someone she felt more connected to, more understood by, more completed by than Beca.

She tries not to let herself fall, but she fails. She fails miserably and she knows she will only have her heart broken because Beca will never be hers.

She tries not to think about the fact that Beca is her everything.

So she does her best to keep a safe distance - Beca’s friend but at an arm’s distance. Just like Beca used to keep her.

Because how could she tell her now? It’s been four years. She’s long missed her chance.

How could she even begin to tell Beca she loves her?

[langlangland-blog]

Studying & Depression Tips

January 6th 2018 6/100 days of productivity

*Warning -  Personal experiences with mental health issues are spoken about throughout this post, please do not read if you feel that you aren’t in a mindset which can deal with such matters at the moment.

I have missed a few days of 100 days of productivity and that is because I, as well as many other students, deal with mental illness and depression in  my everyday life. That means that some days I have no motivation and nothing seems important, grades & working being the last thing on my mind.

I hope that me writing this post will show another side to the studyblr community and also make my blog, a platform to help people who share the same struggles as I do.

I realise that talking about such a sensitive and personal subject, on such a public platform, can be harmful, and for that I will try to discuss matters that are relevant to me in a brief and summarised manner (I am a natural over-sharer!) I also ask that if I make any mistakes, especially whilst discussing mental health, that I be corrected and forgiven in a respectful way - as I mean to cause no harm or offence. I am just trying to do my best in helping other students out there who feel the way I have felt.

Brief Current Experience With Studying & Mental Illness

Over the last few months (and still very currently) my ability to maintain a high level of academia & work ethic whilst dealing with my mental health has become a struggle more than ever before. My motivation has been very little and it hasn’t seemed to show any signs of improvement as I was hoping it would. This has left me in a rut, feeling as though I have wasted so much time procrastinating already that I can no longer change my fate (in my case my exam results) and this leads me on to my first step of being able to cope with these types of thoughts.

STEP 1 - FORGIVING YOUR PAST SELF & LETTING GO

Well folks, it says it in the title. I know that all those nights, days, months you have spent feeling like you’ve already failed can seem so overwhelming, to the point that you truly believe that there is nothing left to be done to save that grade or improve that score. I am here to tell you that, that, that right there, what you are doing, that is the only thing holding you back. Not the fact that for the last 3 months you have half-a*sed every essay, test, mock exam and assignment. The only thing NOW that is holding you back from getting the grade you want is your mindset, and specifically, the idea that you have already failed, because you haven’t. You can do anything. Start anything at any point and change your fate. You just have to forgive that person in the past who couldn’t do it, who couldn’t work as hard as they could of, who didn’t try hard enough, who simply didn’t want to try, that person isn’t who you are now, or who you can be tomorrow. You have to understand that with each day comes a new start, and that doing a tiny bit of work is an accomplishment. Let go of the past and focus on what you can start tomorrow, even if it isn’t all of what you wanted to do. Something really is better than nothing.

STEP 2 - BREAKING DOWN TASKS INTO SMALL CHUNKS

Again, pretty self-explanatory. See that unit of Spanish vocabulary that you were supposed to have learned 2 weeks ago that you haven’t started yet? Learn the first 10 words. Just the first 10. Then another 10 tomorrow. As that, is how you conquer the gigantic overwhelming heap of work that seems impossible for you to be able to complete. You can and will complete it, just with tiny steps. This tip really is a game changer believe me, as it can also trick you into completing more work than you initially intended to. Starting really is the key, though. I believe in you!

STEP 3 - ACKNOWLEDGING THE TINY VICTORIES

This tip follows on from the previous one. Along with breaking down big tasks, you must acknowledge the smaller pieces of work that you do manage to complete. However, rewarding yourself for smaller pieces of work means that the rewards for these achievements have to be smaller too, as, otherwise, you will become used to big rewards for small achievements which will do you more harm than good in trying to change your ability to work harder. That said, do not ignore those 10 Spanish words that you have learned today or that half set of flashcards you made, as those do count, and they prove that even if the feeling is minuscule at the moment, that there is a part of you that does care, and who wants to succeed. Try and treat that version of yourself with kindness and do not discourage them for not being able to work as much as you would like them to.

STEP 4 - ACCEPTING BAD BRAIN DAYS CAN BE EVERYDAY 

Sometimes you have to accept that maybe you won’t feel better tomorrow, or the next day, but that you can keep going anyway. Sometimes when you least expect it, boom! It’s back, motivation, self love, will to work, all of the positive thoughts. - And sometimes those things seem to leave your mindset for a while. Don’t give up here. I know, oh boy do I knowww that this is by far the hardest thing to do. Nevertheless, you must keep going, maybe not to the level that you are used to or to the level that you want to be working at, but at a level nonetheless, anything you do during this time is more than enough of an effort. 

STEP 5 - SEARCHING FOR NEW REASONS TO WORK

Maybe it’s for university, or a job, or maybe because you just want to expand your knowledge on a topic or to push yourself. Find a reason for your work. Find something that makes you think YES! This, THIS RIGHT HERE, is why I am doing what I need to be doing. A greater motivation and reason is very helpful especially during those times where things aren’t as easy as they once were. 

DEALING WITH DEPRESSION & RESOURCES 

Depression can be a very dark, dull and hopeless place to be. I know this. However, what you must remember is that depression isn’t easy. It isn’t always possible to study, work or achieve the things you want to achieve daily because your brain just simply cannot do that for you. That is okay. You are okay. I know this because you are reading this now. You want to succeed somewhere within you, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be reading a post about how to try and do so. You wouldn’t be trying to help yourself find a way, but look, you are, because you will, eventually, even if right this moment it seems like you have already lost. You are everything you want to be. You can do anything you want to do. I promise that to you. Finally, to end this post, I am listing some resources where you can reach out for help if you feel you need support. I believe in you! - And I am always here for you, too.

WEBSITES:

Mind

ADAA

Mindfulness

Samaritans 

SANE

Pursuit of Happiness

Mental Health America 

List of International Suicide Hotlines 

HeadSpace

BeyondBlue - Australia

ReThink

Turn2Me

 APPS:

Depression CBT Self-Help Guide

Positive Thinking

Operation Reach Out

MoodKit

Fight Depression Naturally

Diary - Mood Tracker

TalkLife

Lantern

Depression Anxiety Stress Test

What’s Up?

MoodMission

Pacifica

Moodpath 

Calm 

HeadSpace

YOUTUBE:

Kati Morton  - Very Helpful!

TEDx TALK

TEDx TALK 2

TEDx TALK 3

As a fellow student, I am sending all my love, Gabriella.