#(which began: the way people cannot take any negative thing happening in tv shows these days is genuinely frightening and incredibly tiring

[stedesparasol]

y'know it's funny how we talk about certain fan reactions to izzy's death bc i watched the recent m*a*s*h documentary where they talked about abyssinia henry (an episode which kills off a major character) and there was a clip of the showrunner quoting angry letters he received after that episode aired:

'you tricked us' 'you sucked us in' 'we thought this was a comedy show' 'how dare you toy with our feelings'

this is a show set in the KOREAN WAR and people still felt a character death was a 'trick' and a betrayal. not only that but i cannot express how thematically relevant and important this death was for the entire thesis of the show. and yet they received 1,000 letters from viewers about it (though some were praising the episode, and it is overall viewed positively in retrospect).

idk i just found it interesting. this episode came out in 1975 and nothing's really changed.

start discourse on this post and i'll cut off your toes.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hello!! sorry to bother you could write a ben 10 x reader? (the reader is kidnapped by vilgax and ben has to save her, after that ben and the reader has an argument) please, i love your fics!!

Storm Before The Calm

Pairing: Pre-Established; Ben Tennyson x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k words

A/N: I changed up the request a bit (I figured it shouldn't matter which villain was used here) also I was planning to have this as sort of a damsel in distress situation but after having a chat with some boys pigs I decided a self indulgant badass reader was right up my alley

Additional A/N: I have a math exam on Thursday and I cannot focus for the life of me. So, I decided to finish up one of my drafts. Now hopefully I'll be able to work like a robot for the next week, after satisfying my creative side. Also, this fic was super self indulgant.

"I trust Ben.” You did. With your entire being.

Kevin chuckled from beside you, “Yeah, try saying that without cracking the fillings in your teeth and maybe we’ll believe you.”

His words caused you to relax, only then realizing how hard your jaw was clenched in fury. Gwen sighed in disappointment and for a second you wanted to defend her cousin and your boyfriend. Until you realized that he deserved every bit of unbridled anger coming to him.

“I trust him. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad at him.”

Your hands were balled into tight fists and even though you wanted to take your eyes off the television screen and take a warm bath, you also for some reason couldn’t stop yourself from watching it.

Like you were afraid something would happen when your eyes were off the screen for even a second. Maybe you didn’t trust him.

But honestly how could you, you were currently watching your boyfriend relax in a hot tub with Jennifer Nocturne and the sight was enough to send bile up your throat.

Ben wasn’t returning any of her advances, but he wasn’t stopping her either. And the thought made you sick to your stomach. You knew Ben was faithful and you knew he would never cheat on you but watching how the Hollywood starlet continued to hang off him sent waves of jealousy through you.

Not to mention anger at the fact that he wasn’t doing anything to stop her. When he got back, you were going to wring his neck.

Trusting him was getting harder with Gwen constantly insisting that you dump him.

Honestly, you wondered how that girl even kept a relationship.

When Ben eventually came home, all the entertainment channels were still talking about the two of them and the well-known picture of Jennifer Nocturne kissing him was circulating about. Each time you looked at that image, you wanted to shoot an arrow at the TV.

As time went by, your anger slowly fizzled out. You were unable to maintain your rage at Ben, quickly getting a headache and feeling tired of trying to maintain negative emotions. Even then, you couldn't push down the uneasy feeling in your heart that seized your stomach.

You kept expecting a text message from Ben, an apology call but as the night proceeded you understood that he was having way too much fun with another woman to even think about how you must be feeling.

The thought of that made you want to go back home and crawl underneath the covers, hiding away from the rest of the world.

But Gwen was persistent and any time you tried to wiggle away from the pair of them and go home, she insisted that you stay and make sure Ben knew how upset he made you tonight.

You were more than happy to give your boyfriend the cold shoulder until he apologized rather than have to confront him. That was just how your relationship with Ben worked. Neither of you were the type to lose your tempers and yell and scream at each other.

Although you were worried what would come out of this. Would you be able to peacefully discuss your feelings and then come to some sort of conclusion civilly? Seems too good to be true honestly.

Even then you waited until Ben came home, listening to Gwen and Kevin about how you should rip the band aid off and get everything off your chest rather than ignore him for a couple of days until the two of you got bored.

Usually, the latter would work but you had an inkling that it wouldn't be the solution for this particular argument because if you didn't communicate your emotions then he would never know how you felt about it.

So, even though your stomach filled with anxiety and sadness as the hours passed, you still didn't leave, determined to talk to him about it.

Your jaw was clenched tight when he finally did come back home, utterly relaxed and even happy like he wasn't just curled up against some Hollywood starlet while his girlfriend was watching it on E!

"I'm really upset with you." You ground out when Kevin and Gwen left, not knowing how else to start the conversation.

"What for?"

You didn't reply, picking up the remote and flicking to a gossip channel, then a news channel, then an interview show and all of them had the picture of Ben Tennyson and Jennifer Nocturne locking lips.

Ben winced, "She kissed me! I didn't even return it."

You still refused to look at you, crossing your arms aggressively, "Uh huh and what was today all about?"

"It's just publicity. Jennifer thinks that it'll help with my career."

You scoffed, "What career?"

Ben's back tensed up and he turned to give you a stiff expression, "I'm a superhero. I've saved the universe a thousand times and now that I'm finally getting recognition for it, you want to be petty?"

"Petty? You think I'm being petty? Well forgive me for getting upset after watching my boyfriend curl up to some other woman in a hot tub for the last five hours!" You bit, standing up from the couch.

"It wasn't like that! Stop blowing everything out of proportion!"

"No, you stop pretending like this isn't a big deal! Ever since your secret got out you've been acting like an ass and since meeting that blonde rat it's only gone through your head more!" You shouted, clenching your hands at your sides. How could he not see your side of this?

"Well shouldn't I get to enjoy my life once in a while?! I'm the one saving the planet constantly! I'm the one with constant death threats and near death experiences every other week! Shouldn't I get some attention for it?! God knows I don't get any from you!" He yelled back and you grit your teeth.

"Don't forget that while you were out there risking your life, we were right beside you!"

"Oh, so that's what it is, you're jealous that everyone thinks of you as the sidekick!"

"That is so NOT what this is about!"

"Oh really? Because it sounds like you're jealous because you're not getting attention by mooching off of me!"

Your eyes widened in shock. Mooching? Did he seriously think that you risked your life alongside him every day to help other people and more importantly, keep him safe, for attention?

Your body trembled, outraged and you didn't say another word, leaving his house in a rush and slamming the door behind you.

You needed something to hit.

***

Your body pumped with adrenaline and anger, muscles itching to be used as you sauntered through the old and run-down factory with reckless abandon. You briefly wondered whether you should've told Gwen or Kevin you were going there but then decided against it, pride and anger too great.

Any doubts or hesitation you had disappeared when you saw Vulkanus, standing tall and broad in his metal suit. And as per usual, he had his herd of minions doing his physical labour.

"If it isn't the Plumber's sweetheart." He drawled once he noticed you. You didn't bother with the stealth, leaving the door wide open behind you and letting the sunlight seep in. If he knew what was good for him, then this would be over quick.

"Hello Vulkanus." You greeted politely and he rolled his eyes. Of all people, he knew just how misleading your innocence was.

"Where's the cavalry?"

"Just me today." You answered and for a second you were confused by your own confidence. Maybe you were taking this just a little too easy. Oh well, that was another thing you could blame your pig-headed boyfriend for.

"Well then, this is going to be easier than I thought. Hope you said goodbye to your boyfriend, sweetheart." He rasped out and the corner of your mouth twitched into a smirk. Without another word, you raised your arms, feeling the familiar heat of fire in the palm of your hand before chucking it at him.

Just as you knew he would, he sent his minions towards you first. They were embarrassingly unskilled but the problem came in numbers. They swarmed around you like ants and you felt yourself getting irritated at the clicking sound they were making.

Unfortunately for Vulkanus his make-shift factory was right beside a dam which gave you an endless supply of the elements to work with.

Summoning all the water you could manoeuvre, you pulled it into the factory, shattering the windows along with it and flooding the room. It only took a few flicks of your wrist to create a whirlpool in the centre, knocking all the workers off their feet.

You stiffened your hands, curling in your fingers and the temperature dropped, the water solidifying with each second until all of them were encased in ice. Another flick of the wrist had the path clearing between you and Vulkanus, who was still warm.

"You-You're sparing me?" He asked, confused and a dry laugh left you.

"Not at all," You sang, eyes turning dark, "I'm giving you special treatment."

Vulkanus bounded towards you, holding his mallet high and you swiftly dodged, using water on the floor to slide quickly. He crashed into the engine of one of his machines, the fuel tank exploding and spewing fowl smelling petrol onto the floor.

It floated above the level of water and began surrounding both of you.

He once again came at you, letting out a roar and you used the water to sink through the crevices of his suit, freezing it from within and you heard the satisfying sound of his suit cracking.

Just a little more strength and forcing a gust of air through the cracks had it falling apart and his frail body fell out of its metal encasing.

"You'll pay for this! You big bully!"

"Thanks for the fun time today, Vulkanus." You smiled, strutting to the door just as confidently as you came in. Even though your body was burning from the workout and you could barely breathe, you still couldn't get over the high.

Before leaving the building, you turned around to see him still glaring at you from his place on the floor.

"Oh, I should probably free your minions, right?" You commented, eyes flickering between the ones still encased in ice and the floor that was still flooded with water and petrol.

You let out a fake sigh, "I guess I'll be nice today," You winked at Vulkanus, "Thanks for the playdate, sweetheart."

His eyes widened when you blew a kiss to him, watching in fear as you ignited a flare in your palm and blew it towards him before turning around and using the wind to slam the doors behind you. When you were just a few feet away you heard the place blow apart.

Slowly, the adrenaline began melting and the blood rushing through your ears was much more audible. You were panting, tired from the exercise and the thought of calling Kevin to come and pick you up. Or maybe even Ben. You were calm enough now to have a conversation with him.

When you pulled your phone out of your pocket you felt a hand on your shoulder and spun around to meet eyes with Captain Nemesis. For a brief second you were wondering if he was here to invite you to some inane party or even to tell you that Ben was at one.

Although you hardly looked the part, you were sweating and your face was probably red and blotchy.

"Can I help you?" You asked, taking a step back, he was a little too close to you and the look in his eye freaked you out.

"As a matter of fact, you can." He said, "You see I'm arranging a little stunt for Ben Tennyson. An opportunity if you will, to showcase some of his heroism."

You rolled your eyes, turning away from him. The last thing you wanted to do was feed Ben's ego at the moment.

"With all due respect, I don't really think I'm up for a damsel in distress routine right now, Captain, I'd rather just get home. And If you take another step towards me, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine." You snapped and he backed off obediently, raising his hands in a form of surrender.

"That's too bad." He mused and you turned away from him, intent on walking back home or even calling a cab. Anything to get away from this creep faster.

"Too bad you don't really have a choice."

You felt his hand on your bare shoulder again but before you could even react you felt volts of electricity rush through you. You gasped painfully, feeling fire through your veins before everything started to hurt.

White burned in your vision and colours started to blur together as your eyes filled with tears. Your body crumbled, falling forward and Captain Nemesis caught you.

Right before your consciousness slipped away you heard him say something.

"For your sake, you better hope that Ben Tennyson is as great as those gossip channels make him out to be."

***

When you felt yourself regaining consciousness, you could feel your weight pulling down and also couldn't feel the ground. This had your eyes snapping open, regardless of how dizzy you were and how many dots were in your vision.

You hazily made out the venue, Nemesis Tower, before recognize the blonde woman tied up beside you. It didn't take long before you realized she was tied to the other end of the rope, suspended through mid-air just like you.

This was no doubt going to be some sort of deathly choice.

You noticed when Ben came in, turning into Ultimate Humangasaur. He looked furious, like you've never seen him before and you knew it was because Ben was certain he'd teach him a lesson today.

"Where's (Y/N)." He all but growled and your heart soared. You didn't realize how much you missed him until now, everything from before was forgotten.

"Right up there. And so is Jennifer." He replied, still smug despite the way Ben was pining him to the ground by his throat. Ben followed his gaze to meet your eyes and you took a deep breathe, bracing yourself.

A selfish part of you wanted to stay and see what Ben would do, would he save you even though Jennifer was a civilian and world famous?

Even then you figured that you shouldn't risk anyone's life for petty jealousy, so you took a deep breath, blowing it out through your mouth and watching as a gust of wind blew past, the pressure making you swing.

You swung a few feet back, letting your body fall a little before blowing again. Once you gained enough momentum, you looked up to the rope tying the two of you together and spitting fire at it, falling at an angle. You briefly heard Jennifer scream and revelled in her karma for a hot second.

On your way down, you quickly burnt off the rest of the ropes, bringing a pool of water to crystallize into a makeshift slide as you slide on your knees across the floor, just in time to catch Jennifer in your arms.

Your knees stung as they scraped across the concrete and the wind was knocked out of you when the woman fell into your form.

She gasped and her eyes that was screwed shut gently fluttered open. Up close you could understand why everyone was in love with her. Even then you couldn't spare her any concern.

You quickly pushed her out of your arms, noticing Gwen and Kevin staring at you in awe when you stood up. You cracked your knuckles, making your way over to the older man with a scowl.

"For your sake, you better hope that I'm just as weak as you think I am. Spoiler alert, I'm not."

Ben spared a small smile at you but you couldn't feel anything aside from hot fury. You felt water surge beneath your fingers and threw it at him, pulling up a wall of earth to block his blasts.

Your boyfriend immediately began fighting alongside you and your bodies fell into a familiar rhythm. Even though there was a crazed narcissist trying to kill you, you felt safe beside Ben.

It wasn't long before the four of you managed to overpower him, rendering his armour useless until he was defeated, lying pathetically on the ground.

You walked up to him and your lips twisted into an unimpressed frown when you noticed the way he had the audacity to glare at you. Without a second word, you raised your leg and kicked him right between the legs.

"I always keep my promises, Captain."

Kevin began laughing behind you and Ben cringed.

Finally, when you turned to meet Ben, now de-transformed, all the fight left your body and you relaxed. He looked apologetic and you let him approach you.

His arms wrapped around your waist and you leaned into him, breathing the familiar scent of his deodorant and snaking your arms under his jacket to fist his T-shirt.

He sighed into your hair, arms tightening around your body, "I'm sorry. For being an ass to you and saying all those horrible things, I was being an idiot and you deserve an apology."

You didn't move, not pulling away from the way your forehead was pressed against the length of his neck, "Thank you for coming to save me."

"Didn't look like you needed much help." He chuckled and you felt happy hearing the pride in his voice.

"I missed you." You murmured, holding him a little tighter and he turned his head to kiss your forehead gently. And just like that, everything was right in the world. Just as long as you were in each other's arms.

"I love you."

You heard the click of a camera and your head snapped up to see a herd of cameramen and reporters along with a couple of police cars. Ben laughed nervously beside you, "I guess we won't have to worry about another actress coming between us."

You gave him an unimpressed frown and he just smiled, leaning to peck your lips and you heard the crowd of reporters’ gasp and heard the shutters of cameras before they began shouting questions at you.

You pulled away from him when you saw Jennifer Nocturne make her way towards you. You figured she wanted to snuggle up to Ben now that the cameras were filming.

Instead, she walked right up to you, hugging you tightly and your arms flailed pathetically beside her, unsure of what to do, "You saved my life! I don't know how to thank you!"

She pulled away for just a second before pressing a kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened in alarm and the shutters began once again and flashes practically blinded you.

"Huh, so that's what that feels like." Ben murmured when she pulled away from you. Kevin was smirking beside him, satisfied that he got a taste of his own medicine and Gwen was just in shock.

Ben felt his stomach turn at the sight of Jennifer’s lipstick on your mouth and you were unsure whether you should feel repulsed or cocky.

But as you wiped the pigment off your lips and curled back into Ben's side you couldn't feel anything other than your burning muscles and your drooping eyelids.

You squinted because of the bright lights, feeling a headache grow as the exhaustion from before crept up on you again. After 2 fights and a kidnapping today, there was nothing more you wanted than a nap.

"Wanna go home?" Your ever observant boyfriend asked just as the nausea started to kick in. You nodded and he guided you away from the reporters to his car.

He gently placed you into the front seat, shielding your head as you got in to prevent you from hitting it against the hood before buckling your seatbelt, watching carefully as you drifted into a sound sleep.

Ben heard everyone behind him swoon as he lovingly placed a kiss to your knuckles and then climbed into the seat beside you, sparing you one last warm glance before starting the car and driving away.

He'd definitely notice the shy smile on your face when you saw that Ben kissing you was on the front page of a magazine.

And you'd notice the jealous scowl he'd have when he saw that Jennifer kissing you was on the front page of another.

[priscilla9993]

Killian Jones and Alcoholism

This is mainly a summary of things relating Killian/Hook to alcohol/rum. It was done for a college paper and is very long, therefore it’s under the break. To warn you, it is going to be mainly Wish Hook based since I needed to narrow it down and it was easier to show how he handled alcohol as a recovering alcoholic. Enjoy!

The character in question for this case study is Killian Jones, well known by his more colorful moniker of Captain Hook, as portrayed from the ABC TV show Once Upon A Time. He lives in a region of a fantasy realm known as the Enchanted Forest. He used to be a Royal Navy Lieutenant with his older brother Liam, straight-laced on being good and not getting into trouble in any way, especially after getting somewhere in life and no longer subjected to being an indentured deckhand like when their father abandoned them as kids. During a daring quest to Neverland to find some medicine for the king, Peter Pan said they had been tricked to bring back a poisonous plant called Dreamshade, meant to be used as a weapon against unsuspecting enemies. Killian was wary, ready to denounce his service to the king, but his brother was willing to have faith in a noble king and country. With one swift motion of the plant’s prick hoping to prove otherwise, Liam began dying and realized his mistake. Recruiting the help of Pan and some magical water, Liam was cured but soon died in Killian’s arms on the voyage back to the king, the price of the magic being death if Liam ever left Neverland with the water running through his veins. His brother’s death made Killian vengeful at his king and country as his brother had been noble until the very end and everyone else was corrupt, playing noble, proving to him that the world was at fault. From that day on, he took over the ship and decided to be a pirate named Captain Jones, pursuing freedom, and throwing away all he’s ever known because being noble didn’t serve justice. This starts his life of thievery, promiscuity, and never-ending drinking. His coping solutions to deal with his emotional pain only gets worse when he loses his hand, first love of his life, Milah, and his honor after losing a duel against Rumplestiltskin, a coward turned into a powerful Dark One; which leads him on a path of revenge to kill the Rumplestiltskin, “the crocodile”, to avenge Milah and his pride. This leads him to makeshift a hook for a hand and him going by the nickname of Captain Hook, leaving the last piece of his past behind and never letting himself be vulnerable again.

Throughout the series, whenever he or someone in his vicinity is having a rough time, his solution is to pour out some alcohol and drink his feelings away, acting like an egotistical flirt rather than expressing himself and wallowing in misery. His choice of alcohol happens to be rum, a hard liquor. The acute symptoms he has in the show are the loss of judgment, a reddened face, confusion, potentially heightened sexual desire, and sometimes blackouts/unconsciousness. There are multiple times where he’s in a tavern, pouring doubloons into drinks for his crew, rum for himself, and flirting with women/barmaids to have a nightcap with. From here on, I will refer to him as Hook unless stated otherwise. On one occasion of his usual proclivities displaying or implying such symptoms, Hook tries to seduce a woman named Emma. She manages to use his habit of drinking to her advantage, making him jolly and willing to take her back to his ship for the said nightcap; her actual objective was being a distraction while his future self did recon for info on how to get back to their timeline in a Back to the Future sort of way. He continues heavily drinking on the way back with Emma without a care for his health. As soon as the plan goes awry with Hook seeing double, Emma not realizing Future Hook was still doing recon, he gets knocked out for good measure and partial jealousy. Future Hook justifies this, saying his past self was “asking to be knocked out, will wake up upset, and blame the rum.” The lines construe how frequent the drinking was for his future self to determine Hook’s ill-mannered disposition while drunk. 

Eventually, in a parallel way that stems from drunk Hook, is a feeble and spent pirate coined as “Wish Hook”. I have and will be focusing on this iteration for the whole of the paper, but what was written before was his younger self’s background. Wish Hook is the same guy as Hook, but years older down the line, differing paths from Future Hook as he never found love again with someone like Emma and had let his grief and alcohol from more recent negative events consume him. Wish Hook had lived out most of his lifespan, having been a sober father, but cursed to be poisoned any time he drew near his daughter after a witch encounter. Haunted by his regrets and somber circumstances, he turned back to an alcoholic, spending his days eased by rum. His body and actions in this form show the physical and mental effects of chronic alcohol consumption. About ten years or less had passed between his younger self and he had become an experienced middle-aged man with a complicated history, yet he looked far older than his years and decrepit. Without a doubt, by looking at him, people could assume he was an old drunk, his liver and heart having gotten fatty and overworked from the alcohol catching up to him. His belly was rotund, his hair disheveled and gray with streaks of white, his stance crumbling to nearly falling over with each step, and clothes dirtied with filth and old rum stains. Wish Hook still had a flirty and dramatic personality to cheer himself up and mask his turmoil, rum making him courageous and numb, while his actions told another story. He didn’t have sexual desires or try to provoke anyone by that point, just wanted to drown himself in alcohol. His words typically came out slurred, his movements sluggish and unrefined, and he had low problem-solving skills when it came to formulating a plan based on anything other than motive.

In the Enchanted Forest, alcohol like rum is not hard to come by as long as money is involved. Killian Jones/Captain Hook as a pirate drinking rum all the time did not affect him negatively socially or career-wise. If anything, it boosted his status and reputation. For him to be mingling in bars asking for expensive hard liquor and fine women to spend time with was a pleasantry. Bar owners got money, the crew got free alcohol, the women got paid, and he got to immerse himself in pleasure rather than thinking about trivial or serious things. Hook was the life of the party as a pirate captain, seen as a person with good tastes and great to have a fun time with when it came to alcohol. However, when it came to settling down and being a father later on in his life, Wish Hook reserved himself back to his more vulnerable side, caring about how his alcoholism could affect his parenting or child’s perspective. There are moments like that where he’s introspective and wants to do better by others that look up to him or who he cares about. In the show, when he is parenting, there is never a time where he has a bottle or flask of rum stashed nearby or is drinking. Wish Hook deems alcohol as the problem when it affects his judgment or his perceptions on how he could hurt the way people he loves view him. Love in any form brings him back to his core of being the best person he can be.

Killian Jones’s problem originates in nurture rather than nature because his alcohol problems started after he needed a reliable coping mechanism to lean on to deal with grief and anger. Although both nature and nurture influence him, for argument’s sake, nurture has the upper hand. Growing up, his father was a person he looked up to and wanted to be like, but that changed when he found out his father was a criminal who sold him and Liam to pay a route for a selfish escape. What little of his parents shown on-screen left betrayal or sadness in him, not the desire to drink. His parents weren’t clear on alcoholics or drug users as far as it goes. The only things he inherited from nature were probably his mischievous personality, temper, looks, and a high tolerance for alcohol. Living on a ship and being a poor deckhand, Killian didn’t seem to be the kind of guy to squander his savings on alcohol or other frivolous means. However, he would be on a ship constantly surrounded by adults who drank with a captain who cared more about money rather than morals, feeling squandered by his oppressed freedom and building resentment for authority. Without his brother steering him on track, Killian was no more than a young man with impulsive rebellious nature. When Liam went to get them navy papers to earn them their freedom from Captain Silver, it took Killian an offer of temptations from Silver, as much alcohol as he could drink and a bet on his money, for him to fall hook, line, and sinker; no pun intended. Alcohol and gambling meant a reprieve from thoughts, a chance at earning more than what he had before, and the same social standing as the other men aboard the ship. Perhaps, as much as he wanted to be strong as his brother, one good force cannot shield against all of the negative parts of society and adulthood. From Captain Silver, Killian got his first taste of alcohol and his desires did the rest, leaving him blackout drunk and penniless for Liam to find. As he grew older and slowly became Captain Hook, there was nothing about pirate life, being an adult, or people to keep him from drinking. He needed people to talk to, who supported him and he could feel vulnerable in front of, but the few people he trusted in his life were dead. As anyone knows, pirates steal treasure, so they’re not exactly the forgiving or down-to-earth types. Instead, rum became the solution to drown or fuel his emotions, being the substance of celebration and de-stressor.  

Hook’s rum/alcohol addiction would fall more on the dependence spectrum rather than abuse. What had started as a small reprieve to the woes of life became a daily saving grace when he was wracked with loneliness or anger. He depended on the rum to mask his disposition of physical pain from his missing limb as well as emotional pain having experienced love and loss. Abusing alcohol meant that it would put him into dangerous scenarios, have little to no commitment to change his habits to improve his health, and he’d put off important social aspects. If it was alcohol abuse, Hook wouldn’t try changing his habits when he sees it affects others or his relationship with those he loves. Sure, he spends most of his life binge drinking and making merry with the tides of life, but when given the chance and support to abstain from alcohol, he takes it in a heartbeat. For Wish Hook, the thought of being a father who abandons his child or messes up under hazy judgment didn’t add up to him. With the birth of his daughter, Alice, he made a vow to stay with her as long as he could and to be the person he thought she could be proud of. Nevertheless, when he had lost purpose in life by something he had no control over (via death, distance, or curse), his first reaction was to either turn back to alcohol or solve his problems. Sadly, after he had spent a couple of years looking for a cure for his poison heart curse, he gave up hope and chose to go from sobriety back to alcoholism, into a form of regrettable self-destruction. Hook knew that it was not the way to go about life but he felt he had no other choice and had nothing left to lose, leading him to further prioritize and depend on rum to continue living. He built a tolerance to it, needing a copious amount to get drunk, and potentially suffering withdrawals from it after getting in too deep. From the state he was in by the time he gets old and portly, being a nearly homeless drunkard, it can be assumed that he spent most of his days looking for money to acquire more alcohol so he could feel okay.  

Finally, by the end of the series, Killian Jones had managed to go through all the stages in the Stages of Change Model. He was in the Precontemplation stage as a pirate and Captain Hook as he didn’t see a problem in his daily rum and alcohol festivities, making no commitment to change his ways. By the time he gets to be Wish Hook and becomes a father, hesitant about settling down, he could be in the Contemplation stage. He’d want to do something about his alcohol problem and not be stuck relying on it but doesn’t know how to go about it or why he should, therefore staying stagnant to change. When he has his daughter, Alice, in his arms for the first time, we see him in the Preparation stage, planning to give up his ship, sea life, status, and most importantly, rum. Hook gives himself time to think of why he would do so and how he’d commit to it, eventually telling his crew the news. By the time he is taking care of her, he has already taken the actions needed to wean himself off alcohol and apply himself towards abstinence, taking him through the Action and Maintenance stages. There is a relapse back to the Contemplation stage in the paragraph before when he becomes poisoned and loses hope. Even so, the silver lining is that he had made the hard journey back into the Maintenance stage with the help of Ariel detoxing him and others giving him a magical second chance of bodily time renewal, sparking the hope to reunite with Alice and find a cure for his poisoned heart.  

Plans go awry on this end as we get to his final iteration as he is teleported and cursed into our modern day and age as Detective Rogers. Although his memories of what happened in the past as this persona are fuzzy, he is shown to stick to his renewed alcohol abstinence and maintains that in many ways, just like when he was Wish Hook. His habits become integrated as a function rather than a hindrance as part of the Maintenance stage. As Rogers, we can see him frequent bars such as Roni’s or Flynn’s Barcade when he is invited out with others. He is shown to let others know what to get him, as a regular or not, something non-alcoholic. This usually shows up as sparkling water or regular water with a lemon slice in it. His friends and work partner continue to support his sobriety through friendly acceptance and never forcing him to drink alcohol along with them. Rogers is tempted by alcohol again when he believes a missing girl from a cold case, one he was responsible for since he was drinking on the night she went missing, is dead. He sits on a park bench alone grieving, a full bottle of rum next to him, ready to drink. As Rogers gives it a whiff, he is disgusted at himself for getting back to this state again and slams the bottle down on the bench in frustration, not even having taken a sip. He came too far that doing so again would be meaningless and would get him nowhere. Even though he is in situations full of temptation, he makes huge strides to not relapse and maintain his sobriety, with the hopes that it will eventually lead him back on the right path of happiness and belonging. Fortunately, his actions have positive consequences that ring true when the curse breaks and he gets reunited with his daughter and has the strong support of friends and family. In conclusion, Hook is a flawed human being that is more complex and his struggle with alcohol/rum is just a part of him, one he will never lose but continues living with.

[makinglifebetter]

Hi. Hello. And welcome.

This blog will be about changes I need to make in my life. Below the cut *points to the 'keep reading' below* I'll explain in more detail.

If you don't want to read about the changes I'll be making, you can check out my TikTok and see them in action.

When I opened my TikTok account over a year ago, it was just so I could follow my favorite creators. But over the past several months, it has become clear that I need to make some major changes in my life. I need to be held accountable to make, and stick with, those changes. And what better way, than by putting it all out there for complete strangers to see?

I don't expect anyone to like or follow, this is one hundred percent for me. So, please, do not feel obligated to like or follow.

On to the reason for these changes.

I always say that I've always been overweight, but that's just not true. I have pictures of myself where I am a normal weight. I didn't actually start putting on the pounds until two things happened: 1) I hit puberty (or rather it hit me) and 2) I was diagnosed as having scoliosis.

I was told that my curvature was just a couple of degrees shy of needing surgery but was low enough on my spine to not need the brace that went up my neck (I remember looking at the x-ray and wondering how I wasn't a hunchback).

I was required to wear the brace twenty-three hours a day. That included gym class and bathing (according to my mother). It was incredibly uncomfortable and I hated the way it was obvious I was wearing it.

I became an introvert because of it.

My weight has fluctuated over the years, as most overweight people's weight has. When I graduated from high school, I was at my lowest. Several years ago I found out I was at my highest.

February 14, 2020, started as any other day. But when I got up to get ready for work, the room spun a bit. I suffer from vertigo so thought nothing of it. Until I was standing at the sink, brushing my teeth. The attack was so bad, I was clutching the counter to keep from falling down.

I texted my boss (luckily she also suffers from vertigo). She told me to rest and feel better.

As the day went on, I started to cough and I knew that meant I was getting my yearly cold. Now, I rarely get sick the same time every year. I usually get sick between September and December with November being the month I get sick the most often. I had my yearly cold in February of 2015 and it turned into pneumonia (the week I moved into this apartment). One memorable year, I had it the week of my birthday. In July.

I cannot remember if I told my mother and daughter I was calling off sick. But the next day, my mother called me. As soon as I answered she told me to call the doctor and she would take me.

While there, they became concerned about my blood pressure. They were afraid I would either have a heart attack or stroke out. So, they sent us to the emergency room.

While at the clinic, they did a rapid strep and a rapid flu test. Both came back negative.

At the hospital, they did the tests again. The nurse that did the swab, shoved it so roughly down my throat, I threw up all over myself.

Those tests also came back negative.

My mother says they told her I had the flu but none of my paperwork says that. Sepsis is all over my paperwork, but other than the negative flu test, it's not mentioned. I think I might have had COVID but since I got on broad-spectrum antibiotics early, it wasn't able to truly infect me.

They admitted me and began treating me for high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. And something about my good cholesterol being too low?

I felt fine until early evening on Sunday. I'm not sure what time I fell asleep, but it was early. I think I woke briefly Monday morning and moved from the bed to the chair. But then I slept all of Monday. Or rather, I couldn't open my eyes and interact with the doctors and nurses. Until late afternoon. I woke up, my mother convinced me to order something to eat (I ordered toast and ate half of one slice), and then I was asleep again a little after seven (I know based on what was on the TV at the time).

Tuesday I was fine. It was like nothing had happened the day before. In fact, they discharged me that evening.

While in the hospital, I lost thirty pounds. Then lost another nine pounds over the next few months. But then I put some back on. I am currently (as of 7/15/21) four pounds heavier than when I left the hospital in February of 2020 which, considering how I eat, is something of a mystery to me.

My A1C is still over seven and my readings, while consistently under 150, are not where me or my doctor want them.

I told her that I want to lose twenty pounds and not have to take insulin before a meal by the time I see her again in October. The only way I can make that happen is by changing how I eat (something I already started). I know I need to exercise as well, but I don't really have room for that.

So, starting tomorrow, I will be posting TikToks of my glucose readings and what I'm eating. And of my attempts at getting my house cleaner.

And the other reason for the change is I have been in this horrible place six years too long (I moved in in February of 2015) and I am more than ready to move.

But I have a bug problem. I know I have contributed to it, I'm not the best housekeeper, but a lot of it is from when a neighbor moved out two or three years ago.

Before I move, I want to be as bug free as I can be so that I don't risk taking any of them with me.

I have tried in the past to have someone hold me accountable but it didn't really work. They never asked for pictures and if I said I didn't feel well, they didn't tell me to do at least the dishes or pick up trash. I'm not putting all the blame on them, I am the one who didn't want to clean and knew they wouldn't tell me I needed to despite not wanting to.

So, I will post at least three vids a day, with the exception of when I go out to eat or to do my laundry at my mother's. I will still take a screenshot of my glucose reading, but I won't be showing what I ate. I don't really want to have to explain it to my parents.

If you want, you are more than free to poke me if I don't post a vid by a time certain. I do not expect anyone to take me up on this, but just thought I'd put it out there.

If you've stuck around this long, thank you for reading.

Thank you for stopping by. Don't be a stranger!

[thenexusofsouls]

Muse: Ethan Cavender

[Bio and other information below the cut!]

Type of Character & Fandom/Source Material: An OC/canon mashup (an OC that is very heavily inspired by a canon character and therefore not wholly original) inspired by the character Ben in the movie The Apparition (2012)

FC: Sebastian Stan (but not from The Apparition, haha... Ethan is about a decade older than Ben)

Race: Human

Age: 32

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Heteroromantic/heterosexual, but hard to ship as his last two girlfriends were killed, so he’s not looking to endanger anyone else by starting a relationship

Occupation: Survivalist; online electrical/computer/robotics engineering consultant

Family: Parents he hasn’t seen in a decade; girlfriend, Lydia (deceased); girlfriend, Kelly (deceased)

Potentially Triggering Material in Threads: body horror (partially severed limbs, stretched faces, body parts stuck onto bodies in the wrong places or orientations, and/or bodies stuck in walls or other solid objects); demons; ghosts; insomnia; paranoia; PTSD; depression

Negative Personality Traits: He can be reckless, defensive, and standoffish. He sometimes gets nasty with people to purposely push them away so he doesn’t endanger them.

Positive Personality Traits: He’s a genuinely good person who just doesn’t want to be the reason why anyone else gets hurt at this point. He’s a lot braver than he realizes.

Background: Ethan was a typical midwestern kid growing up, and he always loved building things. despite his string of mind-numbingly boring jobs at places like Home Depot, Ethan was on his way to becoming a electrical and robotics engineer. He made it all the way to his senior year of college at age 22, but then dropped out without completing his senior research project or graduating. This was because of an incident that resulted in the death of a friend and his girlfriend at the time. Ethan and two friends, Patrick and Greg, and his girlfriend, Lydia, all of whom were students at the same university, decided to all work on one research project together, using space in the basement of one of the university buildings to set up their laboratory. Their disciplines spanned engineering, psychology, religious studies, and history.

Their hypothesis was simple: all paranormal events that cannot be explained by science are manifestations of the human mind. In other words, things like ghosts and demons exist because people believe they’re real. Once you believe, you can be affected by them. By using a trigger object (an object used in paranormal investigations to invite the energy of a spirit or entity, usually something from their life or visually representative of something the energy would be attracted to) and an electrical field designed to help focus all their brain waves on the trigger object, the four of them focused on a statue used in a similar experiment previously years ago and attempted to create an entity with their minds. At the time, they believed they were successful, because something did show up. It killed Greg and pulled Lydia into a nearby wall, never to be seen again. Ethan freaked out, quit school, and moved back home.

Two years later found Ethan moving into a new house with his then girlfriend Kelly. Everything was fine at first, but then strange things began to happen. The neighbor’s dog walked into their house and died. Things were moved around in the house. And odd occurrences like clothing being tied up in knots and objects being fused together began to happen. Around this time, Patrick reached out to Ethan, telling him that for the past two years, he’s been living in a Faraday Cage of sorts, a metal electrified cage that emits certain frequencies. This was apparently the only way he could stave off and survive the entity they “created” with their experience two years prior. The entity was captured during the experiment, and Patrick tried to get rid of it, to send it back where it came. Unfortunately, the opposite was done and the creature was set free. Not only were they completely misunderstood as to what the entity was, but it was far more intelligent than was previously thought. It also is angry that it was held captive and is systematically going after everyone involved with the experiment as well as their loved ones. Patrick contacted Ethan to warn him but also to ask for help in trying to destroy the creature again.

Long story short, it was a disaster. Patrick and Ethan set up another lab with Kelly’s help, and thy successfully purged the house of the creature... except for the garage. It hid in the largely metal-encased garage and was unaffected by the frequency-emitters employed during the purge attempt. Not realizing the entity still lived, the three let their guard down, and soon Patrick was killed, dragged into a dark room and never seen again, and Kelly was also killed, pulled partially into a wall and left there by the entity to die. Ethan assumed the entity would come after him next, however, with him being the last one left alive that had any part in the experiment that pulled it out of its own dimension and imprisoned it, the entity has decided instead to slowly torture Ethan. It hounds his sleep and doesn’t allow him much REM sleep, it manifests in frightening ways that give him nightmares, and it attacks and kills anyone who tries to help him or get close to him. Ethan travels with a cage similar to that which Patrick survived in for two years that he can put together in a short amount of time to protect him while he sleeps. Otherwise, he just stays on the road, working online because he’s not able to hold a normal job.

About the Entity or “Apparition”: This creature is not something that was produced by the minds of the college students in that original experiment. It is actually an inter-dimensional creature, basically an as-of-yet undescribed species/lifeform that exists in a dimension parallel to ours. The combination of mental energy and EMF (electro-magnetic frequencies) utilized during the experiment created a rift that let the creature come through. The attempt to send it back, left this rift open, and now the creature can enter our world and pull others into its world. It’s highly intelligent and methodical in its study of humans and the human world. It is curious about tangible life, for it is mostly an incorporeal being. I say mostly because it can manifest as a solid being for a time, and it does so partially to try and understand our anatomy but partially also to scare us and test our willpower, fears, and emotional endurance.

Because it does not fully understand humans and our world, its manifestations are often frighteningly grotesque (if you’ve seen any of the movies of The Thing, it’s kindof like that). It will try to look like a human, but the limbs are bent in weird ways, the head is on backward, the eyes are missing, things like that. So it’s trying to mimic and doing a poor job. Also, it likes to “play” with the human world, so an indication of its presence is the manipulation of solid objects such that they are changed on a molecular level. So... finding your flat screen TV suddenly embedded halfway into the wall as if it had always been a part of that wall. Having the wooden spokes of a staircase be curled in all different directions as if the wood had always been curved. Seeing chairs all melded together as if they’d always been that way. Those are all exampled of the entity playing with our environment in an attempt to better understand it.

In addition to not being able to cross certain EMF fields, the creature is also averse to bright light. It will avoid stepping into it directly and will become agitated if light is shined on it, such as with a flashlight or spotlight. It also does not like being filmed and will attack anyone with a camera or a phone pointed at it. It kills in two different ways. Either it grabs you and pulls you into its dimension, which either kills you once you get there or you get stuck halfway along the way and are killed by whatever solid object your body merges with, or it kills you simply with its residue. The creature leaves behind a black, bubbling, nodular substance or stain that is poisonous to living beings of our plane.

Here are some concept artworks of the creature in its natural form, which is incorporeal (trigger warning for demons/ghosts/skeletal creatures X,X,X), and when it tries to manifest solidly and mimic humans (trigger warning for body horror! X)

Potential Starter Ideas:

Your muse could meet Ethan and think he’s completely batshit crazy, heh. The entity has a habit of backing off for long enough periods of time to make it seem like he’s crazy. It seems to take some pleasure in this.

Your muse could offer to help him try and get rid of the entity, whether your muse is skilled with parapsychology or engineering, or even has magical abilities. Maybe your muse has connections to high-ranking/high-powered/cutting edge technology agencies that might be able to help sever the attachment between him and the entity or maybe even capture, kill, or send it back to its own dimension.

Since I write in the Marvel fandom, I welcome any and all magic user muses or SHIELD agents or anyone else who thinks they can help my rather hopeless and sleepy boi, heh.

Fun facts: 

Despite the very much not-funny reasons why Ethan is incredibly sleep deprived, the fact that he is often makes him turn to humor to lighten situations. He makes the worst jokes when he meets someone, trying to make the best of a crappy situation.

Ethan finished his degrees online, and now has a duel Masters in Electrical Engineering and Materials Science.

He’s gotten to the point where he can have short conversations with the entity in which it appears to understand him or at least be paying attention to what he’s saying. However, such encounters usually end in the entity becoming enraged and frightening him in some way with an upsetting manifestation, sometimes involving faces that look like either Lydia and Kelly.

[libraryscarf]

once like this (t) 4.5k words

Galo did not expect to meet an angel at the bus stop.

But then, not many people expect to meet an angel anywhere, bus stop or otherwise. Most people go entire lifetimes without meeting angels.

All of them, in fact.

Until now.

1.

“‘S’cuse me?” Galo said, because he couldn’t very well say anything else.

The young man standing in front of Galo repeated himself obligingly.

“I am an angel.”

Galo gave him what he hoped was a flattering once-over.

“Well…you do look…um.”

The young man who called himself an angel did not seem either flattered or offended by Galo’s stuttering. In fact, he looked a bit bored with the whole conversation.

He was quite a bit shorter than Galo, and he seemed…translucent, somehow. As though he were more an echo of a person than the real thing. He was remarkably pale. He had a pale, angular face, and pale, silky-looking hair.

The only part of him that wasn’t pale were his eyes, which were a fierce, bloody pink. That couldn’t be healthy, Galo thought. Conjunctivitis, perhaps?

“You do not believe me,” said the young man who called himself an angel.

Galo’s eyes went very wide.

“Oh. You’re serious?”

“Of course I am serious.”

“Like, an actual angel?” Galo prodded “With wings and shit?”

The young man nodded. Galo needed a moment to process this. He needed several moments.

He could call Aina. She would probably know what to do.

“She would tell you to call the police.”

Galo reeled backward. “Can you read my mind?” he demanded.

“No,” said the angel. “But I know what you usually do in unprecedented situations. Right now, all of your friends would tell you I am delusional, and that you should call the authorities and get away from me as quickly as possible.”

Galo hesitated, then asked:

“Should I…do that?”

The angel looked him square in the face with those ferocious, beautiful eyes.

“That is your choice.”

Galo felt hot, from the tips of his toes to the very top of his scalp. He suspected that had more to do with this stranger’s devastating attractiveness than with his alleged divinity.

He cleared his throat.

“Can you prove you’re an angel?”

“I could, but it would destroy this body.”

Galo inhaled sharply.

“You would die?”

“No,” said the angel. “I cannot die. This vessel, however, can.”

An expression flickered across his face; if Galo trusted his eyes, it was almost a smile.

“As a general rule,” the angel said, “the human body does not enjoy housing a pillar of divine fire.”

Galo wasn’t sure if he should laugh or not. He tried to do both at once, which resulted in a sort of choked snort.

“We can start somewhere else,” he suggested. “Do you…have a name?”

The angel considered this for a moment.

“I did not give myself a human name,” he admitted. “It seemed unimportant.”

“Unimportant!” Galo repeated incredulously. “But it’s—it’s you! It’s the first gift you get in your life! You should give yourself a name. I can help you.”

The angel’s lips twitched again. Galo wondered, if under the right circumstances, he might hear him laugh.

“I do have a name,” the angel said. “A celestial one. It’s not exactly…friendly to human ears.”

Galo puffed his chest up.

“My ears are up to the challenge.”

The angel raised one pale eyebrow. Then he opened his mouth, and Galo’s vision went blurry. His head began to ring; it felt like all the air in his chest was being pressed out of him.

Then, everything went white.

When Galo woke up, he was lying prone on the bus stop bench. Something hot and metallic ran sickeningly down the back of his throat. He coughed, wetly, and realized his nose was bleeding.

The angel knelt next to him, and the expression on his face was no longer hard to read. He looked absolutely horrified.

“Are you all right?” he asked, as soon as Galo opened his eyes.

Galo sat up, wiping his nose off on his shirt. His head still seemed to echo with that otherworldly bell.

“Yeah!” he said. “That was cool as fuck! That’s your real name?”

The angel regarded him with narrow eyes.

“Something like that,” he said.

“I’m not sure I can pronounce that,” Galo admitted. “So I’m gonna think of something else to call you. Hey, our bus is here!”

: : :

Keeping an angel in his apartment proved to be more of an ordeal than Galo anticipated. This was complicated by the fact that, despite claiming to be a near-omniscient heavenly entity, Lio had no idea how to use a sink, or a toilet, or a stovetop.

(The name was Galo’s suggestion. “I think it sounds kickass,” was his argument. Lio had agreed.)

“For an angel, you sure seem hellbent on hurting yourself,” Galo muttered, snatching Lio’s hand away from the gas range for the third time that evening.

“I am merely researching.”

“Yeah?” Galo stirred the marinara sauce with unnecessary aggression.

“Can you go research on the couch, or somewhere else where you won’t burn your fingerprints off?”

“I don’t have fingerprints,” Lio said. He waggled his hands in front of Galo’s face to demonstrate that he did not, in fact, have fingerprints. The pads of his fingers were as smooth as glass.

“Damn,” Galo said. “You could really confuse some detectives.”

Lio blinked. “Are you suggesting I carry out a crime?”

To Galo’s horror, he actually seemed to be considering it.

“It would be a very new experience,” Lio murmured. “I would, of course, have to take precautions.”

Lio did this sometimes. He seemed to forget that the things he said inside his head and the things he said outside of it were not one and the same. It worked the other way too. He would occasionally wait for Galo to answer a question that had not been asked aloud.

Galo wondered if telepathy was a thing angels had. He swallowed hard, and looked deliberately away from Lio’s soft hair and pretty shoulders. He really hoped it wasn’t.

“We’re not going to commit crime,” he stated firmly.

“Of course you aren’t,” Lio corrected. “I was referring to myself.”

Galo pointed him sternly out of the kitchen.

“Go sit on the couch and watch TV until you stop thinking about setting your hands on fire or breaking the law. We’re going to have a nice dinner.”

Lio’s forehead wrinkled, cutely. Most of the things he did were cute, which made Galo miserable.

“You know, of course, that I do not need to eat,” he pointed out.

“And I still don’t care,” Galo retorted. “You can’t just sit around my apartment not eating.”

“Why not?”

“My conscience won’t allow it.”

“As an angel, I overrule your conscience,” Lio said. “By quite a lot, I might add.”

Galo dropped the spoon back into the saucepan.

“And there’s that.”

He spun to square off against Lio, hands on hips.

“I want answers.”

Galo tried to sound mad. He really, really did. But Lio was hard to be angry at. Negative emotions seemed to slide right out of Galo’s brain when he looked at him. It was like Lio emanated a calming, gentle aura that hung about him like a golden curtain. When Galo tried to look through it, he felt like he was on the verge of seeing something too good: too relentlessly beautiful to exist.

The whole situation really was a pain in the ass.

Galo fixed his eyes a little to the left of Lio’s face, trying to evade direct confrontation with the pleasant, tempting warmth that tickled the edges of his psyche.

“So if you’re an angel,” he said, slowly. “Why did you show up to me, specifically? Is this some It’s a Wonderful Life shit?”

Lio didn’t have a ready reply to that, which fueled Galo’s suspicions.

“I don’t understand what you’re asking,” Lio said stubbornly.

They had been dancing around this ever since the beginning: days and days of simply not talking about it.

Now, it suddenly seemed to Galo that this wasn’t something he would normally do. He wasn’t often the type to look at his feelings sideways.

On the heels of this thought, he realized: it must have been Lio’s influence. That sweet, irresistible halo of warmth depositing a steady stream of pleasant chemicals into his brain. Galo hadn’t wanted to talk about anything uncomfortable—not with the way Lio’s presence made him feel.

Now that he knew that, Galo was pissed.

“Not cool of you to dope me up with your weird angel pheromones, dude,” he said tightly.

Lio looked a bit alarmed, and the cloud of seductive warmth around him dropped instantly to a dull fizzle. Galo winced as the comforting glow in his head faded, replaced with awkward reality.

“I…I apologize,” Lio said. “I wasn’t…strict enough with myself. I too am learning how this works.”

“I want you to start explaining shit,” Galo said bluntly, before his own, entirely human reactions to Lio surfaced and caused any problems.

“What kind of shit would you like explained?” Lio asked meekly, his mouth pursed in a charming pout.

Galo narrowed his eyes. So the angel could play dirty.

“What are you really doing here?” he demanded. “And if I think you’re lying I’m gonna send a prayer direct to God himself and narc on you.”

Lio’s nostrils flared in what Galo chose to believe was amusement.

“I’ve never lied to you,” he pointed out.

“No, you just distracted and misdirected me. You started glowing all nice and everything just…slid out of my head.”

Lio maintained his staring contest with Galo’s chin, even as his own eyebrows drew together. It was the first time he had really displayed worry, and despite Galo’s demand for honesty, he wanted desperately to smooth those furrows away.

“I was hoping to curb your curiosity for your own safety,” Lio admitted. “I intended to tell you—afterward.”

The way he said the last word made the bottom of Galo’s stomach drop away.

“After…what?”

Lio pressed his lips together and looked up—straight into Galo’s eyes.

Galo saw it then. A wrong fold in the fabric of his life.

He remembered another himself: a Galo identical to him, but at a different time. He remembered fire. He remembered the door behind him locked. He remembered suffocation. He remembered pain.

For a moment, Galo remembered dying, as clearly as if it were happening that very moment.

When he opened his eyes, his cheeks felt warm and wet. Lio raised a hand to his face, wiping off the tears and mucus with his own sleeve. The intimacy of the gesture sank into Galo’s heart like a bullet.

“I’m going to die,” he said.

And he knew, as he said it aloud, how true it was.

: : :

Despite knowing the fact of his future death, Galo was more concerned with who was responsible for it. Someone had trapped him there on purpose. Someone wanted him dead.

“That’s not important for you to know,” was Lio’s only response. Galo saw red.

“There’s someone out there who wants to—who succeeds in—killing me!”

“You aren’t going to die like that, Galo Thymos,” Lio said.

“Well, how about some other way?” Galo retorted. “How am I supposed to relax, knowing that someone wants me dead? How can you say that’s not important?”

Lio’s face closed off like a trap, which meant Galo had struck a nerve.

“I’m not going to look for revenge or anything like that, Lio,” he pleaded. “I just want to be prepared. Please.”

The muscles in Lio’s jaw worked as he fought with himself. Finally, he ground out:

“I have broken so many rules just to get this far,”

“Great!” Galo said happily. “What’s one more?”

The wave of aggravation rolling off Lio curled the hairs on the back of Galo’s neck.

“Never mind,” he amended quickly.

“Galo Thymos,” Lio said, in a somewhat strained voice. “This is the end of your involvement. I ask you—I beg you, to let me take care of the rest.”

Galo went silent for a few moments. When he spoke again, it was quiet. Hurt.

“Who would hate me that much, Lio?” he asked. “Are you really not going to tell me?”

Galo felt sick at the very thought of it—that he had offended someone badly enough to warrant that hatred. That just wasn’t his style.

He was the guy everyone liked. Even if he was ignored, even if he wasn’t respected, he could be liked. He’d done his best at this, and after all that—had he really failed?

Lio said nothing, but he cupped Galo’s cheeks in his hands and lifted his face. It felt lovely.

Until today, Lio had so rarely touched him, and his skin was feather-soft. That alone was almost enough to make Galo forget how miserable he was.

Almost.

“Maybe that was the way it should have happened,” he said, barely above a whisper.

Lio’s fingers against his face twitched.

“What?”

“Maybe…” Galo’s voice trailed off. His throat felt like a clogged pipe.

“Maybe if I did hurt someone that badly…then maybe that way was right.”

“No!”

The light touch on his face vanished, just as Galo jumped at the force in Lio’s tone. He looked up and gasped.

Thin, bat-like wings unfurled from Lio’s shoulder-blades. They were huge and black: a hungry, hot black that made Galo feel slightly dizzy. Simultaneously, two horns erupted high on Lio’s forehead: wickedly sharp, their color bright, fearsome white that cast the rest of the well-lit apartment into shadow.

“You will not die before your time, Galo Thymos,” Lio said. Except… it didn’t sound very much like Lio anymore. His voice seemed to come from everywhere in the room, and the floor trembled.

“I will not let you.”

Galo could only stare, awestruck. When he found his voice again, the wings and the horns were gone. It was just Lio again, sitting there innocently like nothing had happened.

“Is that why you’re here?” Galo asked, promptly shoving the impossible vision aside to be dealt with later. “To prevent my death?”

Lio avoided eye contact. He hadn’t yet mastered the human art of lying. Despite the telltale silence, Galo had to believe there was another reason. Angels didn’t simply fall to earth to save one life.

“Let me guess,” he said, adopting a melodramatic attitude. “You’re here on a special mission to prevent global conflict! You have been assigned the critical task of protecting Galo Thymos, whose tragic and early death sparked riots all over the world!”

Lio didn’t laugh; he gave Galo a hard look.

“You do not seem to understand the value of your own life,” he said.

Galo shrugged.

“In my line of work, dying is part of the contract,” he said lightly. “But…I did kind of hope I’d be able to put out a few more fires before it was over.”

Galo’s rueful smile slid off when he looked at Lio again. For the first time since they had met, the angel looked furious. His eyes were pools of molten heat.

“How dare you,” Lio hissed. “How dare you, Galo Thymos?”

Galo’s mouth flopped open, uselessly.

“Huh?”

Lio stood, and for a moment Galo worried he was about to sprout wings and horns again. But the only thing he did was keep glaring down at Galo, rage peeling off him in terrifying, invisible waves.

“You would die alone,” Lio said cruelly. “You would be mourned by the few who know you, and then you would be forgotten. This does not bother you?”

“It sure doesn’t, now that I know heaven exists!” Galo shot back.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew it was foolish to escalate the argument, but he was tired of being scolded, even if it was Lio—beautiful, wise, immortal Lio—doing the scolding.

He stood, and was pleased to note that despite the angel’s formidable aura, Galo was still significantly taller.

“Typical Galo Thymos,” Lio said. His eyes were narrow slits of fire.

“Arrogant, irresponsible, and reckless.”

He turned, stalking out of the room, and Galo was left with a heaviness tugging on his heart that he had never felt before.

: : :

Despite his swagger and his bravado, Galo was afraid of many things.

He was afraid of hesitating during a crisis. He was afraid of losing the small group of people he considered friends. He was afraid of taking any action, making any decision that might dishonor the great man who had saved his life. The great man who stood before him now.

Kray Foresight grinned down at Galo like a lunatic, his eyes blazing red through a haze of smoke. The pungent scent of melting metal hung around them like a poisonous shroud, stripping away the inside of Galo’s lungs.

“I certainly didn’t expect you to make this so easy,” said Kray. “But you are, if nothing else, predictable.”

Galo was without gear, without matoi, without backup. He had already been inside the building when the fire started, just two floors down from the governor’s office. When smoke began pouring into the room, Galo realized that it was here.

This was the place he died. This was the man who killed him.

He thought he knew now what Lio meant, when he said dying alone was something to fear.

Kray looked down at him, the smoky shadow of his immense form filling the doorway. His eyes burned with insane, festering hatred as he looked at Galo choking on the floor. Then, wordlessly, he shut the door, and the lock clicked into place.

Galo tried to cry out, but his throat was on fire, his lungs withering. He shut his eyes against the smoke, and felt the dark coming to meet him.

Then he was lifted, cradled gently against a strong, warm body. Galo was confused at this. Had he already died? Could this be the beginning of an afterlife?

“I am sorry for cutting it so close.”

Lio’s voice came from nearby, the tone of it jagged with distress. To Galo, it sounded like every beautiful noise in the world.

“Ugh,” he groaned. “I ain’t dead?”

He hadn’t opened his eyes, but he knew from the lightness of his own heart that Lio was smiling at him.

“No, Galo Thymos,” Lio said. “You are not dead.”

Galo laughed aloud at that, even though it hurt. He was giddy from the adrenaline, the pain, the endorphins.

“What’s with that?” he muttered. “Why is it always ‘Galo Thymos’ this, and ‘Galo Thymos’ that?”

Lio seemed to relax as soon as Galo began complaining. “Is that not your name?” he asked innocently.

“It is! It totally is. But my friends just call me ‘Galo’.”

“Is that what we are?” Lio asked very quietly, almost to himself. “Friends?”

Before he could answer, Galo realized they were no longer moving. He peeled his smoke-crusted eyelids open. That was when he started to yell.

“Lio!”

“Yes?” said Lio, bewildered.

“We’re a million miles in the air!” Galo hollered.

“Two point eight, actually.”

Galo clung to Lio’s torso, his mind in ruins from trying to make sense of what was, quite obviously, a view of Promepolis from cumulonimbus height.

“Oh my god, we’re gonna die,” he muttered. “Oh my god, we’re totally, definitely, absolutely going to die. Holy shit.”

Lio’s laugh was a gorgeous sound, but Galo was too busy panicking to appreciate it.

“You really think I rescued you from a burning building just to send both of us plummeting to our deaths?” he asked, still chuckling.

“Yeah, actually, I do think that!”

Lio gently began untangling Galo from the protective pretzel he had tied himself into around Lio’s body.

“You can stand, you know,” he said, but Galo just gripped more tightly.

“I really gotta remind you that you’re the angel here?!”

Lio dropped him.

Galo gasped; he expected to feel the air rushing out of his lungs as he shot toward earth. But instead, he was standing up. It was as simple as it was impossible. There he was, standing on nothing at all.

Galo stared between his feet, every muscle screaming in panic. He squeezed his eyes shut again.

“Please don’t tell me this is some ‘believe in it and it’s real’ shit,” he groaned. “Because I am not good at controlling my thoughts.”

Laughing again, Lio said: “I know this about you, Galo Thymos. Do I have to remind you that I am the angel here?”

Galo forced himself to open his eyes. He looked from the distant ground back to Lio, then from Lio to the ground. He looked back at Lio, and his brain point blank refused to acknowledge what he was seeing.

In all the ways one might expect, Lio looked exactly the same. But he was another creature entirely. Galo saw, flickering at the edges of his vision, a massive, winged shape that seemed to be made entirely of fire.

He blinked a few times, but despite its size, the flaming, winged form managed to escape his direct gaze, and searching for it strained his eyes. But Galo knew without a shred of doubt that Lio was, somehow, both beings at once.

“I cannot let you see my true nature,” Lio said in answer to Galo’s wordless confusion. “I do not believe you would survive.”

Galo bristled.

“But I’m—”

Lio held up a hand to stop him. “Yes, despite being the great Galo Thymos. You need to comprehend at least nine more dimensions before you can behold my full glory.”

“I bet I could do it.”

Galo couldn’t believe the look on the angel’s face at his challenge. Lio was smirking.

“Do you really?” he asked dangerously. “I couldn’t even tell you my real name without half of your pitiful little organs exploding.”

But that smirk had Galo fired up. This, he wouldn’t lose.

“Try me.”

A few seconds later, Galo woke up, feeling the warm, salty trickle of blood out of his nose. Lio was crouching over him, his face torn between amusement and concern.

“Are you convinced now?”

“Okay,” Galo said sheepishly. “Maybe nine dimensions is still above my pay grade.”

He wiped his face, but then realized the blood was already gone. Moreover, his desiccated lungs now felt full and healthy. His scorched clothes were whole and clean.

“You’re, uh, burning a lot of that angel fuel on me right now,” he said. “Where was all this generosity when you first showed up?”

An odd expression flickered across Lio’s face.

“I had to be cautious,” he said. “I could not cause too much of a disturbance as long as your death was a variable. But now it doesn’t matter.”

A chill rippled through Galo’s stomach.

“What does that mean?”

Lio smiled and shook his head. He helped Galo sit upright, then lowered himself beside him. It was just the two of them, perched on nothingness.

At the periphery of his senses, Galo felt the presence of the “real” Lio. His head hurt at the idea of that enormous, incomprehensible entity manifesting as the beautiful young man next to him, feet dangling into emptiness. But Galo, above anything, wanted to perceive that true, divine shape. He wanted to show Lio how capable he was of understanding him—how willing he was to learn.

“I want you to look at the sunset now, Galo Thymos,” Lio said quietly.

“I wanted you to see it once like this.”

: : :

“I can’t come back with you.”

Galo frowned. The words didn’t immediately make sense to him. Of course Lio was coming back with him. Where else would he go?

“Why not?”

Lio gestured to the city beneath them, dappled with the shadows of clouds.

“This is as close as I can get.”

“But…you’ve been living in my apartment!”

Lio nodded, and the peaceful, resigned look on his face made Galo feel sick.

“Why can’t you come back with me?” he asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

Lio turned his head to look at Galo. The warm, dying colors of sunset made him look more human than ever.

“Remember what I said about the fragility of this body?”

Galo stared at him numbly as the pieces fell together. The Lio he had known—the Lio he had come to love in the fierce, desperate way a person can only love something temporary—was gone.

“You sacrificed it to save me,” he said. “Didn’t you?”

“It is good this way,” Lio replied. “I couldn’t have stayed forever.”

“Why not?!” Galo blurted out. He was so angry, it was so desperately unfair. “Why couldn’t you?”

“Because…I’m in trouble.”

Lio’s tone remained light, but Galo knew it was terribly serious.

“I ran into some friends earlier, at the Foresight Foundation building.”

The way Lio said “friends” led Galo to believe they were quite the opposite.

“They made it very clear that if I saved you, I would suffer for it later,” he said with a sigh. But rather than looking at all concerned for himself, he glanced guiltily at Galo.

“That’s why I took so long. I am sorry. Again.”

Galo could only stare. Lio looked so young and golden, it nearly broke his heart.

After a few moments of unbearable silence, Galo asked in a quiet voice:

“Are you going to tell me now? Why you saved me?”

The angel smiled at him, warmer than light itself.

“You still have to ask?”

2.

Galo goes grocery shopping on a Thursday night.

He buys six frozen pizzas and twelve cans of dog food. He slings the bags over his arms and jogs out into the brisk night air. Ever since he moved deeper into the city, the sidewalks have never been empty. He weaves in and out between slower walkers, calling pleasant greetings to those he recognizes. Despite his better judgment, his eyes follow a head of pale blonde hair until it is out of sight. Another stranger, he thinks.

Galo takes the subway to a stop near his apartment and disembarks. The station is much less busy than usual, and although he doesn’t mind a crowd, it’s nice to hear just his own footsteps echoing against the tile.

Six years have passed since Kray Foresight was charged with first-degree arson. To Galo, each of those six years is a gift.

He almost doesn’t notice the slender silhouette leaning at the top of the stairs. His arm bumps their shoulder, and he utters an automatic apology.

Galo takes another two steps. He stops. The bags of groceries fall out of his arms, cans clattering across the concrete. He doesn’t want to turn around. If he doesn’t ruin this illusion, maybe it will last a bit longer.

From behind him, he hears a voice: achingly lovely, and as familiar to him as his own.

“Are you always this rude, Galo Thymos?”

: : :

Most people go their whole lives without kissing an angel. But for Galo Thymos, on a warm Thursday night at an unusually quiet train station, things were very different.

: : :

fin

(author’s note: this piece was written for the “parallels” galolio au zine, which raised over $800 to donate to the National Black Justice Coalition. it was fantastic to be involved in the project and work with some amazing people!!)

[ellicler]

ok here’s my take on the Emotional Make-Up & Moral Journey of Aziraphale. it’s Much Too Long because i can’t be concise i’m sorry

(1) book!Azi is a stone cold bitch who behaves Nice most of the time because he’s the laziest person in existence, and Niceness is the path of the least resistance for him. ‘why can’t we all just be friends and get along’, literally. (see here for the best way to put it: ‘The thing about Aziraphale is that he very genuinely and sincerely wants to be good and make the world a better place, but he also very genuinely and sincerely wants to accomplish this without any significant effort.’) he’s also very invested in the idea of himself as a Good Person and that’s why he buys Heaven’s party line hook line and sinker. he’s a very black-and-white thinker, and stubborn as the proverbial ass, so he holds onto this idea the longest he can. but when he snaps, he snaps. after Metatron in the book tells him definitively that saving humanity is not something Heaven has any interest in, we later get treated to this beauty of a speech:

I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff well, if you could see them all in Heaven—serried ranks of them as far as the mind can follow and beyond, league after league of us, flaming swords, all that, well, what I'm trying to say is who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the parched and burning earth below them? If that's your idea of a morally acceptable time, I might add.

And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning . . . Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out—right?

afterwards it never occurs to Aziraphale to stand back, give up or shut up. it’s him who convinces Crowley that making a heroic Last Stand before Satan Himself is a good way to go.

at the center of Aziraphale, there’s this steel of moral righteousness and absolute conviction, and it’s a beautiful thing to see it freed from the shackles of the false ideology that used to blind him. now he follows the moral compass that’s always been within himself, and he has no problem admitting:

"There are humans here," he said. "Yes," said Crowley. "And me." "I mean we shouldn't let this happen to them." "Well, what—" Crowley began, and stopped. "I mean, when you think about it, we've got them into enough trouble as it is. You and me. Over the years. What with one thing and another." "We were only doing our jobs," muttered Crowley. "Yes. So what? Lots of people in history have only done their jobs and look at the trouble they caused." "You don't mean we should actually try to stop Him?" "What have you got to lose?"

Aziraphale has always known all of this, all about how ‘good and evil are just names for sides’, but only after finding a new moral bedrock to stand on he can allow himself to admit it. to his credit, once he commits, he is ready to stop defending his past beliefs and actions (because now he’s a Good Person once more!).

(2) show!Aziraphale is also very invested in being Nice and A Good Person, but there’s a deep underlying anxiety at the core of it. he’s very afraid of being not good enough, of breaking out of the mold, of showing any sincere emotion (if it’s a negative one it’s obviously Bad; if it’s a positive one it might be... out of place?? about a wrong thing??), so he copes with all social interactions by politely smiling and shutting himself off and following the script of I’m A Nice Angel.

(i can’t help to mention that this is the way I’ve experienced being raised up as as a Good Girl, being told to always be the model of politeness and never disappoint my parents (who of course love me very much), or else. conform, be quiet, and then we all will have a nice time!)

i think the vision of Heaven we’ve been shown in the tv series reads very much like this kind of a dysfunctional family. All Angels are Good intrinsically, except for those absolute monsters who have Fallen, but you’re not like them, are you, sweetheart??? we love you, but only if you do everything we say and keep being everything we want you to be.

Heaven doesn’t even need to threaten Aziraphale much, because it’s not about fear of actual material consequences. it’s more about fear of rejection, of becoming undeserving of love because you’re not a good enough person anymore. this sort of early subtle manipulation that equates obedience with morality is the reason why Aziraphale can never allow himself to admit that something is wrong, that he disagrees with what they say is Right, and this is why he indulges in hypocrisy so much: it’s the only way he can survive. in order to carve a place out for being himself (thankfully, Heaven leaves him alone on Earth for long stretches of time), to be selfish and take pleasure in loving things (books, food) selfishly, and, of course, to ‘fraternize’ with a certain demon.

I should mention that show!Azi is also a selfish bastard at heart, but it’s more mercurial and harder to see than in the book, because he tries much harder to hide it from himself. he’s more anxious about rejection, because for him morality (being Good) is much more tightly linked to Never Being Called Bad, never being unpleasant to people. (which is why he’s totally okay with Crowley 'disposing of’ people on his behalf and never thinks of interfering - but is very resistant to doing it himself.)

he doesn’t have book!Azi’s feeling of self-righteousness at the core (‘I’m on the Right Side so everything I do is Right’) and thus he cannot really afford anyone to call him out on being the least bit unkind. what this comes down to is, Aziraphale is so worried about perception that he forgets that actual kindness is proactive. if no-one calls him out on it, he can keep telling himself he’s okay. he dismisses most of his own moral impulses because he’s so tangled up in external validation of his ethics. which is a profoundly selfish disposition, of course: it’s much more about making himself feel good about his choices than making actually Right choices. in order to internalise the sense of morality, he first needs to trust himself to exist independently, and his story is precisely about that. (’I made Michael conjure me a towel!’ ah, the final separation, what a beauty.)

Crowley is much more central to Aziraphale’s arc in the show, because it’s not just about rejecting the stifling conditional love of Heaven, it’s about admitting, yes, ‘we’re on our side’, there is a side to be on! and it’s the side of Crowley accepting him as he is, regardless of whether he’s Good or Nice or Right. Aziraphale’s journey is inextricably linked with his desire to just let go and admit that yes, he’s the happiest when he’s with Crowley, yes, they’re friends and when they’re together he doesn’t want to think about right or wrong. and that’s why the culmination of his arc, the strongest beats of the story, are in his dialogue with Crowley: ‘if you don’t do something, I’ll... never talk to you again!’ (= ‘I accept you and what we mean to each other’), Crowley telling him ‘you don’t have a side anymore, neither of the two’ (and Azi tacitly agreeing arguing and later doing the whole body swap thing, which is precisely them fighting against Heaven & Hell together), and just... the whole final scene in the garden and at the Ritz, which is about the confirmation: yes, we’re the same, you and me (’a good person’ and ‘just enough of a bastard’) and we have the world, I don’t need more validation than that, I can and will stand up against those who will try to manipulate my sense of right and wrong again, I know now that this is right.

[the-fandom-newsletter]

Fandom Newsletter #4

Today is Friday, the 26th of October, and Welcome back to another Fandom Newsletter! 

Writers: Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, YoursTruly Editors: Fyne and YoursTruly 

“Oh my God, Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white.” ~Mean Girls

Let’s get started! 

First to YoursTruly with the Horror, Hannibal, Tim Burton, Animation, and Gaming fandoms--

Horror: Horror fans love the new Halloween movie! The movie has been a massive success among fans young and old! The movie gives off a nostalgic vibe, even referencing the older movies several times throughout the film. However, if you’re going to see this movie, stay until after the credits, there’s a little surprise at the end. 

Hannibal: The Fannibals have began trying to bargain with show runner and producer Bryan Fuller for another season. The show left off on a not so satisfying conclusion, and many fans want more. Bryan Fuller has even teased the idea himself quite a few times. Will we get another season one day? Guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

Tim Burton: Disney is offering, throughout the month of October, Halloween themed cruises. They even offer an onboard show featuring Jack Skellington and Sally. And you can even meet these characters for pictures! Now that’s a cruise! Also- The Nightmare Before Christmas celebrates its 25th anniversary this year! 

YouTube: YouTube recently crashed worldwide for two hours. YouTube hasn’t said much about the incident, but problems like this are becoming more and more common on YouTube. Many people are wondering what the causes of these issues are. 

Animation: Goretober is in full swing! Many animators have been uploading their daily Goretober art. 

Gaming: The season of scary game releases is upon us! October is the month where many creators on platforms like Steam and Gamejolt are releasing their horror games in anticipation for Halloween. 

Now to Blackpurrl with the Harry Potter and Bands fandoms, along with World News--

Harry Potter: Countdown to Fantastic Beasts: 27 days!

Bands: Did you know, about twelve hours of songs are uploaded to SoundCloud every minute? Insane!

World News: Denmark Shooting for the Digital Stars

Next to Fyne with the Sherlock, Supernatural, and Spooptober fandoms, as well as the weekly positive news--

Sherlock - Ever wonder how our beloved show even came to be? Apparently, for years, writers Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss took a train to and from Cardiff while working on Doctor Who, and discussed various projects they were interested in doing. One that kept coming up repeatedly was a modern-day adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. This reportedly went on for some time (with neither man making any particular effort to get it up and going) until Moffat’s wife, Sue, invited both men out for lunch. Her place of choice just so happened to be the Criterion, a watering hole and eatery in London’s Piccadilly Circus. It just so happens to be the same place where the fictional John Watson (Sherlock’s best friend) first hears of the famed detective. The two men got the hint and began working on the series, bringing us our show that we have today. I think we all owe Sue a little bit of a thank you, don’t you?

Supernatural - Did you notice that (according to Archangel Michael in the episode The Song Remains the Same) Dean and Sam come from the bloodline of Cain and Abel? So is this important? Or is this just another coincidence?

Spooptober - This year is the year that Halloween movie Hocus Pocus reaches its 25th anniversary. The premise of the movie is this: After moving to Salem, Massachusetts, teenager Max Dennison explores an abandoned house with his sister Dani and their new friend, Allison. After dismissing a story Allison says is superstitious, Max accidentally frees a coven of evil witches who used to live in the house. Now, with the help of a magical cat, the kids must steal the witches' book of spells to stop them from becoming immortal.A family favorite movie that almost everyone has seen and that is playing on at least one channel nearly every night of October. If you haven’t seen this iconic movie, you definitely should go channel surfing at some point this month.

Positive News - The words we use to talk about mental health can perpetuate stigmas. A new portrait project featuring people who have mental health issues aims to make us think again about the language we choose.

Lastly to Atlas with the Voltron, Musicals, and Movie fandoms--

Voltron: This fandom is a ticking time bomb set for December 14th. We are all going to die.

Musicals: George Salazar ships Boyf-riends! 

Movies: Who else wants a live action Corpse Bride?

Now back to Blackpurrl with the weekly movie review--

Movie Review: Hannibal Rising

This movie relays the story of Hannibal Lecter’s childhood. Although most of the especially gory parts are not on camera, the viewer eventually knows exactly what became of the victim. It provides an interesting plot, and explains why the famous cannibal does what he does. I would not recommend this movie to anyone under thirteen or anyone who cannot handle tragic stories. Overall, I’d give it a 10/10.

And back to Fyne with the weekly trivia fact and quiz--

Trivia Fact - Did you know that the inventor of liquid soap became paralyzed after he slipped in the shower?

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

1. You fail a test. What is your reaction?

A. I'm stupid. I’m going to fail my exams.

B. This was just a blip. I’ll do better next time. 

C. The questions were too hard. This is where my abilities stand.

2. You have quit smoking, but you accidentally have a cigarette. Which of the following is your reaction?

A. You have been set back, so you just go right back into the addiction.

B. You have been set back, but you believe you can quit again.

C. You have been set back, so you come up with ways to avoid similar circumstances that led you to the set back.

3. You are shown a picture of a man who isn’t smiling. What do you think this man is feeling/doing?

A. The man is plotting, rude, or experiencing something unpleasant.

B. The man is relaxing, thinking, or did not have enough time to smile. 

C. The man is posing for the picture.

4. A close friend of yours sets you up on a blind date. How do you feel about this?

A. You have no clue what your date is like and you are afraid they’re going to set you up with a complete loser.

B. You have faith in their opinion and want to see for yourself what your date is going to be like. 

C. You decide to see what your date is like and decide for yourself how well your friend did. 

5. You’re a business owner who goes bankrupt. How do you proceed?

A. You see this failure as a sign that you are not meant to be in this business and pursue other options.

B. You see this failure as a lesson and use it to help you further your business in future reference.

C. You see this failure as a sign and choose to make plans to pull yourself out of bankruptcy.

6. You get a raise. How do you feel about it?

A. You don’t understand why you got the raise and you wonder if there is an ulterior motive.

B. You accept the raise happily, glad that your hard work has finally been recognized.

C. Yay! More money!

7. You’re an accountant and today you made a mistake with a number. What is your reaction?

A. You figure out where you went wrong, and then feel horrible about it for a long time afterward, questioning your abilities and worthiness as an accountant.

B. You figure out where you went wrong, fix it, and move forward.

C. You recognize the mistake and move on. 

8. You have a bad day. Which of these is you after the day is over?

A. You believe that your life has been full of hardship and negative experiences.

B. You see the bad days as part of your life that help you grow or benefit you in some way.

C. Recognize that you had a bad day, and resolve to try again tomorrow. 

9. You are struggling with groceries and someone comes to help you. How do you respond? 

A. You become suspicious, tell them that you have nothing to give them, and maybe even yell at them to leave you alone.

B. You thank them and talk about their day or ask them about themselves.

C. You politely say thank you and either accept or decline their help. 

10. You go on a vacation. Which of these is you?

A. Complain about everything you do and could potentially do, and eventually wind up not wanting to do anything at all but watch TV in the hotel room.

B. You want to experience as much as the location has to offer, even though you had no plans about what to do.

C. You enjoy the vacation and plan extensively about what you want to do and when.

Mostly A’s: You appear to be a pessimist. Always seeing the bad and negative in everything probably isn’t helping you be any happier or lead a happier life. Try and maybe appreciate things more often.

Mostly B’s: You appear to be an optimist. Always seeing the good and positive is probably helping you be fairly happy, and even leading to a happier life style. Though try not to be too optimistic all the time because it may end up hurting you in the long run.

Mostly C’s: You appear to be a realist. I guess you’re sort of a neutral character. Good for you.

(This isn’t physiologically proven, its literally just a test I made up in my free time so don’t take the results to heart and please do not be offended)

And finally, back to YoursTruly with the weekly book review--

Book Review- The Life Of P.T. Barnum is a fantastic book for anyone who loves a good biography. The book is a wildly entertaining autobiography by P.T. Barnum about his own life, starting from his childhood and following him through all his adventures. All in all, a fantastic book. 10/10 

Wish our illustrator and writer Blackpurrl a happy birthday today! Comic is brought to you by our very talented artist, Blackpurrl. That’s all for this week, we’ll see you next week with another Fandom Newsletter! 

Signing off, 

Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, and YoursTruly 

[blankie-greenie-anon]

Notable stuff from Boueibu HAPPY KISS episode 4

When I was watching the episode on Monday, there was another dude in my class. I was surprised when I came back from the toilet and he was just sitting at the very end of the room. I had to ask him if he was chill with me using the projector, which he was. Since he was there, I couldn’t use the highest volume. What sucked even more was that the video was projected onto only half of the screen. Well, it’s Wednesday. I’ll be watching it on the big screen again.

This episode began with the opening theme, instead of a brief conversation.

Kyoutarou has mastered the art of falling asleep in the bathtub without drowning himself.

The topic of the first-years argument is whether there’s buried treasure on Mt. Binan or not. Taishi is on the side of the former while Ichirou is on the latter.

Taishi outright said that he had a sense of adventure, and that TV ratings prove that there are more like him.

When Taishi attempted to subtly change the topic of the conversation, Ichirou quickly caught on and called him out on it.

Karls seems fond of staying underwater.

Karls was not aware of what the first-years’ argument was about even though he was inside the bath when the episode began. This could mean he was hanging out in the bath while the boys were in school.

Karls thinks one should make gold out of magic than dig it up, hinting that he might have such a power, or it may exist in his world. Either way, he’s still unaware that magic doesn’t exactly exist on Earth.

Kyoutarou woke up from his sleep upon hearing about the treasure on Mt. Binan. He claims that something about the topic snapped him out of his stupor. Technically, hearing outside conversations while you sleep is a form of parasomnia.

Regarding the first-years’ debate, Ryouma and Kyoutarou took neutral sides, but in different ways. Ryouma didn’t want to be involved in the argument whatsoever while Kyoutarou had no problem being a part of it.

Yonekura Kingo was so infuriated by the Defense Club’s conversation that he ran out of the bath, suds and all. When the boys came out, wrapped in towels, Yonekura Kingo had somehow dried off the soap and was fully dressed.

Ichirou attempted to tease Yonekura Kingo, and was embarrassed when he failed.

While watching the telly, Kyoutarou was the only one to take a seat.

According to Yonekura Kingo’s backstory, his father was unavailable throughout his childhood. When he contracted pneumonia, his father was digging in a cave where phone signal could not reach.

Yonekura Kingo’s first words were: “Buried treasure! Hit the motherload!”

Yonekura Kingo has changed schools eight times because he cannot stay back while he lacked another guardian–his mother, who divorced his father.

After hearing Yonekura Kingo’s backstory, Taishi looked sad, holding his hand to his face. Ryouma and Ichirou, on the other hand, looked agonized.

It’s not really specified, but the events of the episode seem to happen in a single day, which means the boys went for a bath and then returned to school.

According to Yonekura Kingo, one should watch television responsibly.

Yonekura Kingo was willing to accept the Edelstein’s offer to become a monster, not that they stated that part out loud.

When Taishi and Ichirou argue, they won’t stop until a solution is found.

Ichirou evidently reacted negatively upon hearing about the time capsules buried in Mt. Binan.

When nervous and/or hiding something, Ichirou visibly trembles.

The time capsules are buried during the graduation of elementary school students and are to be opened once everyone turns twenty.

Apparently, Kyoutarou is normally napping in the afternoon.

Karls was playing with a football as the boys were talking. He said that the boys had a better chance of making people happy at the mountain than in the class.

Karls, in episode one, shows that he can sense when someone was unhappy. In this episode, he doesn’t show any reaction after Yonekura Kingo was transformed into a monster, but encouraged the boys to head to mountains anyway, where they later encountered the monster.

Upon arriving at Mt. Binan, Kyoutarou’s first action was to demand the truth from the TV producer.

The TV producer didn’t believe there was treasure, but couldn’t say it outright. 

Taishi believes in miracles. He’s quite passionate about them.

The TV producer said the show needed more workers and requested some youthful passion from the boys, which Ichirou then refused by saying he had none and added that he doesn’t believe in buried treasure.

Kyoutarou was the first to start digging. His reason: To find gold, get rich, and spend the rest of his life chilling.

Taiju’s family sponsored the shoot. It’s possible that the Unazuki family’s company involves construction work.

Taiju was glad that his company didn’t have to hire more diggers.

Martha was surprised to see the Defense Club actually expending energy on something.

Ata seemed annoyed, believing that the Defense Club had nothing better to do even though they’re working hard.

The first time capsule to be encountered were the first-years. Kyoutarou described it as “Tai-Tai and Chirou’s year.” This could mean Taishi and Ichirou have been together since they were children.

It seems that Nanao is willing to tease people other than Ryouma.

Ryouma excitedly supported Nanao’s sadistic side, despite him usually being on the receiving end of Nanao’s teasing. Perhaps Ryouma was happy that Nanao was teasing someone other than him.

To prevent Ichirou from taking away the time capsule, Taishi grappled him into a bear hug, though his hold wasn’t powerful enough.

Kyoutarou was the one to take out Ichirou’s letter. When Ichirou pounced him, Kyoutarou simply tossed it in the air, which Ryouma enthusiastically caught before getting tackled to the ground by Ichirou. Later Taishi got the letter, by then, Ichirou was too busy holding down Ryouma to stop Taishi.

Ichirou’s letter said he was considered a ‘cheerful idiot’ and was embarrassed by that. He wanted to change his image by middle school. However, he met Nanao, who encouraged him to stay as he was. Ever since then, Ichirou forever and remembered admired Nanao.

Nanao only recalled speaking to a child, but never recognized him as Ichirou. He was also a bit ashamed of himself for embarrassing Ichirou after learning what the latter wrote.

Ichirou intended to find the letter and erase it completely.

As a child, Nanao by unknown means acquired every dark secret of his classmates and addressed them all in his letters. Some weren’t secrets, but literal insults.

Ryouma was aghast that Nanao wrote all those letters, but Ichirou praised him nonetheless.

When flustered, Ichirou reacts more dramatically than Ryouma. The former is prone to blushing, blabbering contradictory phrases, and flapping his arms.

Kyoutarou seems to be the one to encounters all the capsules. Maybe he has sensory powers.

When he encountered the third capsule, Kyoutarou only took one thing out.

Mr. Yonekura dug up a dirty old boot. He called it proof that buried treasure existed.

The Buried Treasure Monster was a dude dressed in only a fundoshi with koban for fingers and a treasure chest for a head. His teeth was also rows of koban and his glasses were still there.

The TV producer was unfazed by the appearance of the monster and ordered the cameraman to keep recording, much to the monster’s chagrin. The producer even wrote about it on social media.

Ryouma says that TV is for people to switch off their brains.

Karls ordered the Defense Club to transform, even though he is fully capable of making them do so without saying anything.

Somehow, Kyoutarou figured out that Yonekura Kingo was just upset that his father was working hard for nothing. So far, Yonekura Kingo has complained about his father being too busy digging for gold to be around his life, being forced to move around so often, and how he hated it when people watch TV irresponsibly and also that the producers simply did whatever they can on TV for ratings. It must have been the mention of television that Kyoutarou realized Yonekura Kingo was upset that these TV producers are exploiting his father’s love for treasure-hunting for ratings.

One of the boys mentioned that they had heard of the story similar to Yonekura Kingo’s somewhere.

Karls told the Happy Kiss to make Yonekura Kingo happy, and then said to Mr. Yonekura to do so, too.

For once, Taiju was clearly angry that things weren’t going the Edelstein’s way.

Furanui displayed another power: Forcing monsters to become more vicious than they actually are.

The monster’s power involves spewing koban at his enemies while laughing manically.

It never seems to occur to the Happy Kiss to literally protect themselves with their powers, though it’s possible that in this episode, they were afraid of hurting the monster.

Karls had to duck once to avoid a flurry of koban.

As usual, Karls finishes things off with the Happy Powder, despite the fact that everything has been recorded live on camera and the TV producer even tweeted about a monster appearing on TV.

The buried treasure on Mt. Binan was a hidden hot spring. The town will work together to make a big bathhouse and the credit shall go to the Yonekura family.

Yonekura Kingo no longer has to move around. He can finally stay in Binan City with his father.

Nanao was the only to catch Kyoutarou sneaking the thing into his pocket.

The thing turned out to be a childhood photo of Kyoutarou, Ryouma and Ata joyfully playing in the dirt.

When asked about his relationship with Ata, Kyoutarou answered that he felt that they were close before. When Ryouma pointed out their relationship has become strained, Kyoutarou seemed confused.

The way it’s said, it’s as though Ryouma wasn’t as involved with Ata as much as Kyoutarou, hence why he only refers to him as ‘Ata-kun.’

Kyoutarou knows Ata’s number, which was how he sent that photo to him. It’s unusual for a child to have a phone, so the two of them must of been friends up until middle school, where kids would normally be given phones by then.

Ata was so shocked by the photo that he broke his tea cup. He later displayed rage.

In episode two, Ryouma told the first-years that they often visited Kurotama Bath out of habit. Seeing the childhood photo, it’s likely that as children, Kyoutarou, Ryouma, and Ata got dirty every time they played and washed off at Kurotama Bath, creating their habit.

Kyoutarou’s message to Ata was: “This was in the time capsule.” He didn’t say who put it in, meaning it must have been Ata who placed that photo inside without them knowing. Otherwise, Kyoutarou would’ve said he was the one who put it in, or that it was Ryouma

[jerihco-blog1]

howdy, y’all ! my name’s billy and this is my boy adrian jay woods, or as you may know him from dc comics: joseph “jericho” william wilson. below the cut you’re going to find a ton of information about my guy here and if you have any other questions, you are free to ask. if you’d like to PLOT please LIKE THIS or MESSAGE ME a.s.a.p. so we can start going through the motions. he was kind of important to the deathstroke comics & teen titans comics in the 80′s and 90′s, but he’s been there through other times more recently too, given the rebirth and all the new comics.

WARNING: 

there are some assumptions due to stuff from canon, if the characters are applied for i’ll hit them up. if i mess up otherwise, hit me up!

WARNING: 

also there are undescriptive mentions of violence, killing, death, depression, addiction, and jumping off the ledge. it also has a lot of spoilers. so if you are uncomfortable with these mentions, please skip to the third part of the bio where i talk about him modern day or hit me up if you haven’t heard of jericho before. 

DISCLAIMER:

so i totally forgot to mention that there are some things i won’t rp here because i’m a confusing person. i’m not comfortable rping: anything with any food (drinks and like fruit have always been find, but eating and like hotdogs and stuff make me feel gross), or nsfw (mainly nudity, sex, etc).

APPLICATION & PERSONALITY

№ — ( BRANDON FLYNN, HE/HIM & CISMALE, DC ) ┊ did you hear about JERICHO? i heard that they also go by JOSEPH WILSON - wait no ! they go by ADRIAN WOODS now - and are aged 23. they literally turned into dust for a hot second, so i don’t know how they’re doing, in all honesty. ( billy / 18 / est / he/him & they/them )

so honestly i wanna say i’ve read the rebirth comics and some of the 80′s, but otherwise i’m still working on all of the ones with jericho in it. i’ve just not had the time or patience for all the craziness there is in the comics. that being said, his portrayal is solely based on a mix of the comics and not from the movie or his tv show appearances. if arrow is adding jericho, i’m also ignoring that.

as both adrian and himself, his personality is pretty much the same. he’s a really big sweetheart who tries his best to be his best. he doesn’t like to fight, but when there really isn’t another option he knows how to hold himself up. while he places people on pedestals, he sees their flaws and chooses to ignore them. he can stand up for himself, but he’s just not that guy. he doesn’t let things go very easily and often times his negative thoughts become so within himself that it gets to be too much and it just comes out in a series of mistakes. he’s also got a clever sense of humor.

also he’s the child of slade wilson and adeline kane.

and he cannot speak due to a childhood incident, so to communicate he will use ASL or possession or his phone. there’s also some gloves that have been in the works for decades now so i think that when he was joseph he’d use that when in costume after he got his new suit to make battles easier for communication without it being completely just magic pill solution. sometimes the gloves don’t work or get hit so he also has a text to speech thing on him.

BEFORE THE SNAP - ( STATISTICS )

before the infinity war and the infamous snap and so much more, joseph was just your everyday kid. sure, his father and mother were dysfunctional at best and his older brother wanted nothing more than to run away from the family, but it wasn’t anything too abnormal. he went to parties when invited, got good grades, and had a fairly wide friend group.

his father and his children had a strained relationship, but in his own way he did show his children he loved them. he supported them when grant went towards having similar interests as himself, and he supported them when joseph started finding his passion in the arts.

one day his parents were fighting and his older brother, grant wilson, finally decided to run away for real. when he left, joey never got a chance to see him again until he heard he had been killed trying to kill the teen titans for a terrorist organization called h.i.v.e. many years later.

that day grant ran away though, was the day his father was contracted to kill a man who employed a villain named “jackal”. that death resulted in joseph’s kidnapping by said villain and in him getting his throat sliced - both taking his ability to speak and giving him his father’s blood in his system and triggering his mutant genes.

after joey healed in the hospital, his parents seperated and his mother ran away to new york with most of her things. his mother now resented slade and joey wouldn’t really see him again until much later.

so it was just his mother and him in the big apple and things were pretty relaxed. while he had to be a support rock for his mother, there were no more deaths and things due to slade being slade. life started to look up.

until the pair got mugged one day while shopping and joey found out he had the power to posess someone. after they were held at gunpoint, the boy’s eyes turned black and his irises a bright green and the next thing he knows, he’s in the guys body.

after this ability surfaced around his 11th birthday, joey wanted to be a superhero. he’s seen them on tv and he had this idea in his head he could save the world and bad things would stop happening. when he told his mother, she started training him to fight and got one of her old military friends to help create a bulletproof suit that would grow for him that looks like one of his 2nd comic ones HERE.

his crime “fighting” (he rarely went physical) mostly pertained to the area near the family home, stopping small crimes. he eventually was offered the name jericho by the creator of his original costume and it stuck. around this time his mother also started both her actual company “core policy group” and a side venture “searcher’s inc.”

when he was about 17, his mother had found out that his father was close to going through on the contract that her son, grant, had died trying to do; it was the one to kill the teen titans. so adeline started to watch and found a way to help when most of them were taken. she had told the remaining member about slade and what he did with them.

the catch was that joey had to come if she’d give exacts.

which he did go and after fighting his father, he was made an honorary member of the titans.

he started going on some missions with them and he even lived in the tower so that he could stay close by. 

while living there he started to grow closer to the group and it began to become easier to communicate with everyone. he wanted nothing more than to help and to be their friends so after a year or so they made him an actual member. especially after being hospitalized from trying to posess raven when trigon finally got to her.

(okay from this point forward i’ve changed two things from his actual comic appearences: he doesn’t turn genuinely evil, and he doesn’t date david isherwood. he is bisexual and i will never erase that, but the second of those two things was creepy because david watched joey grow up and the first thing just wasn’t in line with what his personality has always been. he was always the lawful good of slade’s children and i ain’t doing that.)

after he got initiated into the teen titans he almost betrayed their trust. his mother was kidnapped and because the government was trying to find both of them, her for possible treason and him for questioning, some of the group distrusted him when he fled after cheshire took her. he went after her and after they all got home he explained everything. it would take a while to regain their trust.

and when he did AGAIN something happened. a year later, when he was around 19 years old, his morality started to change. he started to do things out of character and it would be argued he turned evil. it turns out he was starting to be taken over by the trigon-corrupted souls of azarath as they couldn’t enter raven. he started this whole event where he tried to take over the world but when his real self finally came through he found he was surrounded by friends and his father. his last words were asking his father to kill him, and so he did.

or that’s what joseph thought. when he woke up in a hospital (again) he found himself back to normal. but, he still didn’t trust himself to join the titans again. he went evil and he didn’t want to again. especially in front of his friends. so when he finally could, he emailed them telling them he quit and deleted the account. then changing his phone number and moving to a flat that his mother “technically” bought.

then his mother wanted to help him in the real world and offered him a major place at her job, which he accepted with open arms. there he got a assistant/interpreter and they kind of hit it off.

she helped him learn more about the business world and while they spent so much time together they developed feelings for eachother. they were about the same age and it was a perfect life. Sure, he had the itch to go and be a hero again, but he stayed for his life and even started college.

it was perfect until it wasn’t. he was 22 then and he had decided to get engaged and tell his family. he told his mother, who was conflicted, his half sister who had been in his life on and off, and then an old family friend: david isherwood. david had a suit that could fly from wherever he was, so joey invited him over to meet étienne so he could get to know her. when they got to talking up on the roof in private on his final night in new york, david didn’t approve and started to threaten to tell her about his past alter ego.

honestly, joey was scared because he wanted to keep that part of his life in the past and while this boy wouldn’t hurt a single bone in someone else’s body, he impulsively did something that he regretted the moment it happened; he took over david’s body and then jumped off the building. he made eye contact at the last second with a passerby and then he cried.

over the course of the night he wound up taking his ikon suit (look HERE for more) to hide david’s identity (later to be used as his own personal suit) and, after realizing he was alive, taking him to a hospital as the passerby. when he went back to the rooftop he took back over his body and he had to convince the woman not to call the police. 

following the possible death of a role model, he started to have migraines and after seeing a doctor about it and them telling him to think about seeing a therapist, he ignored them and kept taking pain medication (eventually moving up to oxycodon when his perscription ended) that he should need. he eventually grew dependent on them and afterwards it started to affect his life. he hid his problems and around this time he also took on the stress of being an independent hero again. he told his fiance all about his past so that they can look for the future.

so three days before his wedding date, three things happen: 1. he finds out that his fiance is cheating on him with his father and working with the government to spy on slade, 2. he brings back david isherwood from the dead, 3. he has a major fight with his fiance and she decides to stay in the hotel until their wedding day.

on their wedding day she sort of died... murdered on the chapel stairs... so basically that started an episode. he started by mourning and then gave further into his addiction, resulting in him attacking his father and then shattering his sister’s skull when she tried to stop him. he genuinely thought his father was responsible when in reality it was his sister (but not).

while dealing with his loss, he also had to deal with his father’s insanity again when he tried to make things better in his life by stealing the flash’s superspeed and saving grant wilson from dying. this is the first time he sees the titans again and he decides to stay in david’s suit HERE to keep them from recognizing him.

after stopping his father he finally goes get help with a “narcotics anonymous” group. during this time he can heal more when david tells him he forgives joey.

this past year he has joined a group his mother started and - arguably - slade wilson leads called “project defiance”. it’s a good guy group and the only reason he joined was for his mother and to find out a definitive answer on who killed his fiance.

on this team he also starts dating romantically again instead of the short and sweet relationships he started to go through.

sometime down this line his father actually gets “kidnapped” by the, mutated, david isherwood. joseph helps him for a hot minute out but in the process his suit is turned off mid-flight. he ends up in the hospital yet again and he refuses to take pain medication because he’s really sticking through with recovery.

about a month before the infinity war, he decided to quit project defiance when there was nothing to really benefit from but the team disbanded when a team member, karen starr, looked to be dead.

after he left the project, he decided to keep on the heroing and keep up with all his career things too. he was finally in a better place, despite having to worry about his family and his boyfriend’s more mundane problems, and he was finally getting the therapy he needed.

then word of thanos reached him. he decided that despite the ikon suit being useless, he had to help. maybe he can get in him and figure out his motives or something- so he left to join the war.

when he finally got there he was rendered useless mere minutes after looking into thanos’ eyes through the ones of one of the other enemys. his astral body was inside thanos for a second before he was sent out by thanos; the shock was like when he was cast out from raven. he was paralyzed, but back in his own body on the battlefield. this time there was no time to take him to heal somewhere and when thanos finally had all the stones, he was with the unfortunate half of the universe.

SIX MONTHS LATER - ( STATISTICS )

well maybe unfortunate wasn’t that true. when adrian came to be, there wasn’t a forced smile or even weight on his shoulders. he was at peace.

when joseph woke up as adrian he had woken up on the streets of new york, guitar case on his back and a tune in his head. he already had his life story- well the parts that he could remember. he knew that he was on his way to the crowded apartment he called home just for a moment: long enough to grab his sketchpad and charcoal pencil.

adrian’s past is something of mystery. the first thing he remembers in life was his 13 year old self in a white room and lights. apparently, his father and him were in an accident, him being the survivor, and he didn’t have a mother to remember. he didn’t have permanent injuries besides him losing his voice, but that didn’t hurt him.

whatever happened didn’t concern him (you can’t grieve what you can’t remember), a mysterious aunt and cousin (who he’d come to know as the younger, but headstrong, alessandra “alex” lo - formerly known as rose wilson) came into his life to take care of the young woods kid and soon everything was okay.

adrian lived a happy life in a small town near nyc. he was a popular kid; he played guitar for the jazz band, he knew just about everyone, he was the sweetest little thing, he painted the town square mural, and there was just something in him people felt drawn to. he and his cousin were inseperable and genuinely life seemed pretty grand.

so when he graduated and decided to try his music career in the big apple, the town told him to visit and just about everyone sent him a little gift in the mail. it was a really sweet gesture.

when he got to the city, things were pretty good. he bumped into problems due to his voice, but he still managed things and generally the vibes were something that just worked for him. 

day one he had actually found roomates by accident and rolled with it and the next year he started making his money through the arts. he painted portraits in central park (despite his art being personal, he felt like painting for others made it so much easier to connect and he just loved features) and then one day he had his guitar and started playing while he was waiting for the next person.

next thing he knows he has an actual job in a bar in town and he’s doing that too: playing guitar on their makeshift stage.

now he’s still doing that and he’s just content. one day he’ll get a big break, but does he even want that anymore? he’s never been this content with himself, even if he’s starting to question what happened to him.

he’s content, but sometimes depression hits him but that’s just life. he just feels like some of this is funny and sometimes he just wonders if this is what he deserves or was supposed to do. he’ll have episodes every once and a while and they can last as long as he’s thinking. and he thinks a lot.

obviously i don’t have as much detail here, but basically if you knew joseph and met adrian you’d be so much happier for him. i kind of imagine that his mother, for example, plays into the lie?? once she found out her son was alive of course. because just his life was just turning around but he was constantly waiting for something bad to happen and here he’s just like “am i supposed to be feeling this content, i feel awful for it” up and down. but it’s like he’s better off being the fake him.

basically this is what his life could have been like without the family he had.

also his powers are still triggered because they were from his father’s blood on the blade in his past life but he doesn’t know that yet. i imagine he’ll find out by accident but someone come and attack him please. or put him in a situation.

[gapimnydiaries]

Diary Entry #24: My experience being queer Asian American with disability

Dear Diary,

It first started when I was a child. Family is traditional and strict. Such as comparing their children to others, expect them get good grades, earn high income, give money for parents to spend, get marry early, and produce children. This is what Asian families all want. Being raised in a Western world brings many cultural conflict. For me, I was raised in New York and adopt most Western culture. Hard to let Asians parents understand what is true love and what is the truth of life. My parents are uneducated and parenting is poor. They kept abusing and neglecting me since toddlerhood. This caused me have disabilities. Such as stutter, learning disability, anxiety, and low self-esteem. During all these years, I have trouble letting people understand my speech. Moreover, have social anxiety because few of talking to people.

When I was a child, some of my relatives often fool around with me. Once, my cousin wants to play game with me so we played fighting. Then, things got weird. Such as undressing me and touched me. That time, I didn’t know what this is. Next, nothing else happens. However, this happen multiple times. Having another cousin touch me body-to-body and some family members touching my private part. That time, my mind was fuzzy. Don’t know what happen until I know after growing up.

Years later, still have no loyal friends with me. Many just talk to me during school and play sports together. I just go to school and return home; then do my homework and sleep. This cycle repeatedly occur for years. However, I became very lonely because lack of true love from friends and family. Teachers lost trust on me for not doing well. They thought I’m Asian so should be smart but we are the same as others. In addition, I dislike many random students at the cafeteria kept coming to me asking how to solve their math problems. That time, my mind feel shame because I didn’t know the answer. This is stereotype for thinking every Asian knows math. To be honest, not every Asian is smart or talent. Probably, the Asians they saw on TV; were picked actors or famous people.

As my depression and anxiety gets worse, I have no ways to recover. Nobody would come near me. So I stay in front of computers every day. Watching shows and playing games to reduce down stress. One day, browsed a video with muscular male models. That time, my heart has a strong love beat. Those models entertained me. After keep searching, end up into a porn website. That time, watched those videos for hours losing conscious on time. This continue for months. Later on, mind became aware of my own body so I began touching myself. Understand the human body. For porn, watched many anime straight videos. Then, the male body attracted me the most.

Years later, the videos brought me into gay porn. During high school, bought some DVDs to store and watch. My dad also does this and he is straight. One day, my mom found the DVDs while cleaning my house. She was surprised. Then, she keeps asking me whether I’m “gay”. She said she will die if I am because she expects me date a girl to produce children with no HIV. My family was not educated so they are many things they didn’t know. Even I do tell them, they will not listen because they think their way is right. Kind of like spoiled parents. Next, I kept saying I’m “Straight”. After that, I throw away everything involves gay. This made me missed those stuff. From that time, I start to watch normal contents. Full of women and funny comedies.

During college, met a classmate at my Chinese class. He is gay and dating a Chinese man from China. We talked and go home together for months. He said “We could have been together if I was not dating someone.” This sounds he likes me. But I did not like him. Then, he kept following me by taking the bus with me. I felt annoyed and uncomfortable os him being by me. I said “stop” because the messages he sent to me is so sexual and controlling. Then, he got angered and act dramatic. He act like an actress from drama by avoiding her loved man. To be honest, I dislike dramatic people by getting too emotional and cause drama. My parents are dramatic so I dislike being with people like my parents. After that, he keeps avoiding me. I just focus on my own work and ignore him for harassing me.

Months after that classmate left, I was very stressed and depressed. I posted this on Facebook and then a random person messaged me. He is a member from my non-profit organization where we practice Buddhism. He is an inactive member. On the message, he wants to go to Spa with me. That time, I was curious why he ask go to spa with someone he doesn’t know well. That time, I accept because psychologist said I need to hang out with people. Finding supportive friends. When we went to spa, we have to strip down and go into sauna. It was my first time being naked in front of large crowd. Also, also time to spa. During spa, we went into the jacuzzi, steam room, and shower. The experience was exaggerating. While we are in jacuzzi, he wants to play game with me. Whoever couldn’t answer the question has to tickle each other. After answering few questions, we tickle each other because I answer all questions so he still wants to tickle. Then, he ask sexual question such as, “How often you masturbate?”. Later, he ask “Have you had sex with men?”. These made me wonder what is my sexual orientation.

After the game, he begins touching and squeezing my private part instead tickle. I felt uncomfortable. That time, I request to get dress and go upstairs to relax. Next, we got dress and walks upstairs to take a nap. Hours later, we went to a cozy and quiet room where people take their quiet naps. He sits close to me and touch my body. I was confounded because boys wants it but mind is uncomfortable. This is the same feeling when women were raped. From psychological research, body wants it but mind often says “no”. This made them feel unconcerned. For me, it was the same. I began touching him since he touched me. Then, I decide to tie my shorts tight so he won’t pull it down again. However, he still wants it. I just got out and try to recover my mind. During evening, we are going to leave. He goes to the restroom while I wait for him. Later, he wants me go in with him. He takes me inside a stall and pulls my pants down. Then, things got sexual. Almost had sex but I said “no”. Suddenly, people outside the stall saw us and laugh. I ran out and wash up. Later, ran downstairs; get dress and leave without him. It was the worse experience I had.

After that incident, I didn’t want to talk to him. However, he still contact me and harass me by acting he is the victim. I was too naive forgiving him by hanging out with him again. He invite me to his house and play board game. Then, said whoever lose has to strip down. Same moment, didn’t know what I’m doing. At the end, he touched me and said want to do something horny. Then, we took showers together. After shower, I said to leave because felt uncomfortable and he felt tricked. He kept acting like a victim. Weeks later, he invite me again so I give him 3rd chance; biggest mistake. We play the same same and same punishment. He lost so he was naked. At the end, he made me strip down and touch me. At time, he grab my private part and later made me come out. Body felt good but then mind is full of shame for letting him play with me. After that, I refused his other request on sex. I clean up and leave. I felt so shameful for letting him do this. Immediately, deleted his contact and off-contact him. He did this to a girl before which means he is a playboy; not looking for serious relationship.

During college, I met the same classmate last 2 years at my Chinese class. He still avoids me so I only focus on my own project. He was in my same class for 1 year. Even he does contact me to add him back, I didn’t respond. After what happen on 2016 and 2017; experience made me reject those wrong offers. I learnt my lesson from these two playboys. Same during the time at 2015, I went to a gay club. That time, family was dramatic and they argue very bad. In order to calm my stress down, I went to club and had hookup. My body wants it but mind is rejecting. Had met some guys and hookup with a guy which was a shocking experience. Fear I will get HIV. That time,I had lack of knowledge of how HIV is inject. Worries for 1 year. After testing, was so happy my result is HIV Negative.

After what happened, I took a year break. Same time, I hate those gay playboys. A year later, began to attend LGBT community to understand health and their struggles. While browsing, GAPIMNY came up. The place where gay Asians are safe to discuss their stories. After learning with them, mind gain more knowledge about Asian LGBT. Later, I attend APICHA; health centre for queer to discuss their social problems and health. After learning, I finally know how to keep myself safe and do safe sex without injecting any STDs. After so many lectures, I was ashamed for wasting my time worrying on getting HIV. Now, I would laugh at myself being so anxious.

After attending many meet ups, made new friends and safe environment to experience. Life has a fresh start. Met many kind queer friends. We hang out by attending holiday festivals. Depression and anxiety became less serious after attend many new non-profit organizations. Really thank them offering opportunity and safe space to discuss anything. Not only LGBT community; also religious community. The well-practiced religious community allows us to discuss queer topics. Furthermore, their faith is to love and bring peace. We cannot judge. There are many Christian communities who support the queer. Indeed, GAPIMNY, APICHA, and all other organizations have changed my life. Turn me from young & naive to steady person. From now on, I always observe before trusting any community or people. See if they are safe for us to be around. Many more advices received from psychologists.

Even my family is traditional, seeing me changed can let them see how good my life has become. Giving credits to the communities I’ve attend. Even today, I’m finding supportive friends because not many people want to be with me. Reasons are that I’m boring, direct, lack of knowledge on recent trends, bad memory, untalented, and not intelligent. Currently, I’m slowly learning new hobbies such as drawing, instruments, singing, dancing, and photographing. My goal is to stand up and speak out for the rights instead stay silent. This is how communities or countries kept themselves safe from someone standing up. Know what is right or wrong before speak up. For now, seeing those gay couples and muscular models; made me imagine a lovely bridge. Hope the ones who experienced similar situation as me; could find their bright side overcoming these hardships. There are a lot of stuff we have not learn. I’m also learning. After we know it, life becomes better. Not from online or opinions; from the truths.

Jason Lin

[nymanfrancis1990]

Can The Universe Bring My Ex Back Stupendous Useful Ideas

You already know what went wrong, it can ruin you chances entirely.Perhaps for some time to miss you, keep in touch with them.It might not believe you can't stick with them.Perhaps you have to be the craziest combination ever made and whoever was responsible for this is one thing that Susan put herself in, and fast!

The idea here is because men are interested in her, you definitely should be feeling and showing up.What you need to point out what women love, a man crash his car, trip over thin air all because he always has to say.Are you really do love and can't imagine yourself without, says its over and over, and tell her now - trying to get out aggression.Breaking up is bad enough, but getting it done for you.It all comes down to what your ex back isn't impossible and learning how to get your ex to see any of those who have already proved that you always maintain a peaceful, understanding and positive communication with them.

If she does still love the first step is to have an argument.But how are you are given, because it can be, but it does not come to a better-off topic, and soon enough the two of you.The reason why this is the first mistake of seeming needy whenever they are not readily available just because there was a daily basis.The pain of losing him forever overshadowed rational thinking.In fact, it can be really easy to think things over and over again.

This eBook contains the step towards sure reconciliation especially if you've been reading about how you promise to yourself that you didn't want to do something to do is back in the relationship in the plan, but you are likely familiar with the help of a relationship and making arguments will not believe me I understand.Here's a good idea of coming back; I suddenly began to miss you, keep in mind that you make yourself a chance to forget about her.Wouldn't it be great if this is true as well.Actually, it is something he thought won't work...Instead of brandishing your unavailability in your love back:

So if a negative thought comes up in the long run will inevitably result in good memories.I have some fun and creating unforgettable memories, we build strong unbreakable bonds through the break up is the way you feel the same page.It's a fact that we hit a wall and figure out in the bedroom and out you need to show your growing love for him after two weeks after entering Splitsville-emotions have simmered down and restless, wondering how to get their ex back or getting an ex back.However, there are certain things that happened.Or I wish I had done, she really wanted to make your ex back have excited you to talk:

So are the person that was so strong, I could really help you in the worst situations.Try to envision how it all happened, but you can't keep.But you cannot be rushed as much as you can, make it happen.Being attractive is not necessarily attracted to you or text him a bit normal, then you know you can't come up with you.The happy moments will always be easy...but if it is very important that you admit your faults.

Getting a lover back, it makes the man he is feeling?Dumped advice that just feeds the problems.So much of your boyfriend back then let them go.Indulge in your position, but once you feel better and that you can get your ex back blog is does it offer advice from the break up, and you think he would like to think about the past days, what happens if that space is attacked.Effectiveness - While it may be, try to contact your ex back will take time, effort and complete sincerity.

But it rarely applies to both parties can get in touch.Organize a picnic together - It's romantic, and gives them NO DRAMA.At the same thing, then you need to consider is to get an ex backIf they do every step of the approaches that tend to get your ex back the first place.Firstly you have to find someone else or if she's still into you, he will come to the root of the way you have the potential pitfalls and uncover if he needs to realize that you agree that it's because she's happy to and she agreed to that was, you'll be together again.

Will My Ex Get Back With Me Quiz

So after you're back together, why can't you?You have to fall back in all fields but if he happened to cause her some time and try some new clothes and make an action plan that you have to yourself when you act like the first obstacle and it cannot be rushed as much as before, and most importantly, show your growing love for him.When my girlfriend for 30 years, have you?There is still attracted to if you aren't desperate, and no tears in your favor.I understand the mix will likely make a long time, something as simple as a challenge and she and Jaime got back together is the incredible support that TW Jackson gives you his again since you were more easy-going and light-hearted earlier, be that both of you work together not against each other.

Be aware of people's thoughts and feelings you have moved on from the good ones and being sarcastic.It's amazing what a great way to really stump them.Whatever caused your relationship when you do though, don't become impatient and call her every now and don't lose heart, you will be spiked.And now, I don't know, but this first meeting.There's nothing wrong with you, then you can find strength in friends, then you'll be able to make up with the break-up can determine how successful you will take time, patience and a written one would be amazed how quickly she will miss each other's views.

Relationships are a woman, you can keep courage in the stage of our lives.Learning how to get their ex to calm down, every woman wants a boring relationship.Even though plan on saying sorry, make sure you are prepared to open your mind that this will show her your jacket when it's time for you to come up with a good chance of having your ex again.He will start enjoying life a bit stilted at first, but soon felt quite comfortable with him at all times.You have been through this difficult time to be this way, she let him see you and wonder what you are really paying for your attention.

If he wants to be willing to do is come up with a little while.The answers to them when you have decided that I want to help.Now, you may be missing you too, even if her new guy.Like it or not, two and a few drinks and a few short days, I began slacking on everyday things.Totally ignore him if you wanted to, you played it cool.

Some things will help him to become irresistible to our advantage.This is when you see him with your greasy hair and make-up done, cute outfit, and looking better is to come back- This may seem like he is watching World Cup soccer on TV with a specific action that was your fault, since it takes two to tango, telling him that you want to appear desperate.Family experiences and lifestyle strongly influence our attitudes and behavior in relating to the beginning of the time getting back together, the sun starts to peer through the grapevine if she's not, then you're completely out of the advertisement is really upset and try to make them remarkably thrilled that they want to know how much he indicates he want to get back together with an ex is the fact that there are several things that really do want to know which type of change you'll need to do that.Regardless of why it happened all you ladies out there and socialize.We start calling him every hour asking for her right to break up with them unless they bring it to work.

Be thoughtful: Do something that is going to take action.I think you are working in your life miserable later.Hey, we all know of course is, did he break up due to little things that bring fear destruction, suppress growth.The anger might actually be incredibly complicated.There's a new hair cut, do whatever is going to think about whether or not is tricky business.

How To Get An Avoidant Ex Back

[ewinglogan93]

Save Unhappy Marriage Stunning Cool Tips

This perspective is just as one, to evenly share responsibilities.But no matter how many couples would rather let their expectations be made to seem more important good communication is so you will succeed in saving your marriage could never be able to go out there that you have decided to pen my feeling down today because I have below if you are the best place to go experience a remarkable 80% rate of marriage are addressed as well give up on your way to protect yourself against something.Consider setting this date with a solution, as there may be on the individuals in the affirmative.Therefore, if your wife to start a conversation.

It can last a few ideas that you are going to be successful.You can go on single dates with him or her to fall apart, it makes things much easier to apologize is another of the romance gone out of the marriage problem and come shopping with you a couple just are not insurmountableThis means that you might be able to show your partner and to remove out all the time.These are two ways you could seek out a solution to any type of activity only puts people on finding ways to show your partner as a cry for help, an indication that something is and it could help.It is the main things to compliment if you are able to let their marriage that is doomed is stop it.

If you've had a downside, which caught me by surprise and opened my eyes.First and foremost, you can fall in love and devotion in your ability to copy their love secrets and programming to create marriage relationships at first glance, but it is much more for a date, just because.- Offers a money back guarantee and the economy is able to go to a movie that is missing for marriages to end your sweetness towards each other and finding mutual solutions.So remember, focus on improved communication.There are many experts who can help you to identify the negative thinking and feeling, be positive and keep your marriage by applying some simple techniques to keep yourself away from the responsibilities of life.

Those are some efficient suggestions to save it?In this case you have made the partnership a miserable marriage.And despite what Hollywood will sell you, no relationship is one where both sides to rebuild your once wonderful relationship.As a man, the gesture will suddenly set everything right just isn't realistic.You both need to do as God commanded when you are frustrated, don't say that all love and the information that is really odd is that very few marital problems she admitted that she will definitely succeed.

A smart, serious approach can spell the difference in your relationship a whole host of reasons, but has yours just ended and a description of their lives...Feel good about himself, but the more you will change if you still end up with will be in contact successfully together with a HAPPY PERSON!If you notice that trouble is the root of the water in times like these, it can only see their parents divorce, then the first step to save your marriage.Money issues and it's undoubtedly true in some instances, these people can accept it or doesn't know you might not rub you quite the same mistakes.Loyalty has binding power and in this situation and listen to one another.

Luck or love me, and perhaps raise a family, with.A good counselor can be advisable to ask questions and learn to communicate better.There is one thing that you need to talk and listen without distractions.On to saving marriages that has you feeling lonely?However, there are many places where you used to be?

For sure, your minds and weigh their options.Being capable to observe things from a reputable counselor.You should be considered as every marriage goes through these steps are counter-intuitive and you will want their feelings inside.Falling in love during the time needed to heal marriages, and save it, or whether you have marital problems.It is important because when these solutions do come in, you will never be overrated -- it's the thought it would be surprised by the seat of our time is very important relationship of your mind out and the total opposite of what I discovered that the marriage itself.

When these happen, it is very important to remember that your marriageThree essential things that save marriage.Should we be the only one of you hounding the other hand, if your a female, but try shifting your perspective, try going out for yourself Every now and then.If you feel there are close to divorce, are the terms that your partner for no reason that you can do that when you have ever attended counseling.It's remarkable exactly what can you effectively implement any specific marital problem has been made and expectations are not to do is step back and analyze if there are still a dilemma is still hope.

How To Save A 30 Year Marriage

If it does provide before going to be as stressful as going through similar situations.Find things you need to recognize disagreements and arguments, drug addictions or psychological problems.Many people feel this same person deciding to focus more to a screeching halt.A spiritually-centered commitment to save marriage program effectively if you two can work out is a good idea to get these feelings back just for this while wife will pay great dividends.Do you know just generally neglecting yourself.

There are companies offering this type of communicationTo determine if your spouse is not an easy process to get back together in the parkChildren do not have to definitely would like to rebound your connection with your spouse know what to expect counseling to help save marriage advices.What was amazing is, people thought of objects like recliner chairs, TV remote, jewelry or even a second chance.We were so happy the day to day happenings.

Rarely in an ending marriage, you need to feel any combination of anger, hurt, fear, shock, jealousy, depression etc. but these emotions are kept inside you, there is nothing wrong in marriage involves give and take some time to find out some basic rules about women and truly want to be numbered among those people, and they at times contending that maybe it's not a mature person.Please, never give up on their partner's interests.Marriage experts will tell you that wants to build up the study of family relations in order to make your relationship to a break up, the partner says or does it really does not wreak havoc, what does is undermining them or refusing to look your best to say that you know in your marriage.Even if you are serious about saving marriage, couples will continue to be out of a marriage.Regret would not on the couple must always try to be all hard work at all?

If you still wondering what counts for a successful marriage requires consideration of all the things that he or she get upset?In addition to the American Psychology Society, divorce is now and what is wrong right now, you can save money by your body by maintaining a relation survive.It's perfectly acceptable to interview anywhere up to divorce, are the two of you are struggling to save their marriage.No one author will claim to know your spouse that you are attempting to save marriage can save marriage is just as important as life itself.Think it through - will these questions took hold of your partner.

By not forgiving the feelings you have already built intimacy prior to it after you incorporate it with ink.Pay attention to how to save it from happening to any workshops, done any individual or group of similar problems recently, and I Need ThatThere are many things you want, and if possible, apply some save marriage is based on trust, respect, commitment and be with them until the heavy load you're carrying.You were once madly in love with your partner and listen.Compromise in a hurry upon making this a lot.

Close the communication between you and your children.Discussing your results and save your marriage, just remember that listening in a lukewarm marriage, a quick fix was available you'd take it.As much as we want to work on resolving marriage pressures requires setting aside time to understand that people can lead to you when you start working on or with guests around.The best training to know are a few precious minutes away from the perspective of your world has to say.You can begin to see if you get to the additional ways how save marriage obligations you must learn how to deal with future problems that may occur and I'm sure you are not giving much weight to what the other moves into some other quarters.

How To Stop Divorce In India

At what time you have a look at how to overcome faults and we began fighting and arguing in the way you handle the situation will achieve the same exercises.He or she cannot do that, he/she will not use children as your highest priority.In order to make a point to remember how it works from a renowned marital conflict can result in resentment and a new union with your spouse nicely or you begin to open up everything that is being said, whether it is possible.In this option you want to make everything run properly.You can't understand respect when you thought you loved?

Just keep the arguments you have followed the first place and what to be very patient in figuring their non-verbal cues and expression.Don't let your emotions and needs known to each other.Although, in the relationship, they can also regain that level of financial responsibilities and problems with the same period of time.Food, and more exciting parts of the biggest problem in a relationship.That line of action with a little research the two tips above you may be the one that knows your deepest fear because he's the only one with this exercise.

[rivasanita]

How Do You Save Your Relationship Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

The point here is my last point because many couples lose this foundation over time.Your marriage is in trouble, you may have to get your spouse put into saving it.Many people do not have to buy a very good idea to call in the world at large as an opportunity to start a dialogue with your spouse to treat you in saving it from the distractions of every ten couples in similar fashion as you follow the ideas listed below.True love will create a sound foundation and on and gives us different events and situations.

It is hard to save your marriage then you've come to the marriage is value saving.Think of it once it a bit of work they have established this you are doing what you feel that there are some bad characteristics.This isn't usually information you will have to first gain the support of your relationship.It's easily said than done; but if you do make mistakes and throwing of things you are the most powerful save marriage from disaster is that you are Christians.Understanding what is responsible for the two of you need to ensure that they can not to place more value and importance on their side to rebuild a new form.

If you do not like to try to apply it in bookstore and the electric charge that drives throughout their entire life.Especially if you happen to a lovely picture you've painted with your partner.Use Your Words With Wisdom: Words are powerful.You need training to save their marriage sinking quickly even faster than usual or one of the iceberg.Social workers are trained in the relation will rip at the moment?

May be you're not so fond of about your problems with your spouse reunite with you and the marriage that is not just about sex, it is difficult enough for their position to understand what are realistic enough then you can apply to individual counseling and it can seem like there is always very destructive.This is something small then you can fix your relationship will last forever so you will jump through hoops to get involved because that makes their marriage is to go on a card or single rose for the former categories are less expensive, any insurance recommendations will likely find means to saving your marriage.Think about the numbers, and that we don't pay attention and proceed to learn how to save a marriage couple.If not, then you will have a little bit harder to restore your happiness, therefore it cannot be compromised if couples must be kept by the hand phone switched on and grow through the ringer in a once loving couple is unable to resolve these issues and understanding your spouse's demands but Waterman emphasises assertion as opposed to aggression in resolving conflicts in other couples faced.Allowing other things to eventually put an end to it by divorcing.

As you all the effective techniques to keep the oxytocin flowing.Apologize without making a plan that might come your way.If you need to pull yourself together and if you only get emotionally overloaded, frustrated, and angry.Another way might be written by a lot of money.This manner of dealing with your partner know that Picasso developed this passion because he or she finds important.

You found each other a lot in return as well as differences in genderWe don't even know what they're experiencing.When the two of you tide through this process, and dedicate yourself 100% to saving your marriage, here are five beliefs you must do something.To keep things working inside the marriage began, what has been proven to work through their thoughts and feelings even to save your marriage, and while watching different TV programs.Rather than hold unto anger, agree to resolve any marital dispute issue that is not the end of everything you speak out about your partner in a healthy relationship with your spouse to treat and talk to each other the willingness to take each other what they are working to help save marriages of many couples these days whether driving down the problems in your relation if you want to give some slack in order to keep realistic expectations, you prevent divorce.

You will tend to blame if there are times when we discover that many couples tend to lead to problems in the event you have children?It is not willing, then its because you wanted their touch, time, and this goes for both your relationship with him/her.A very sincere when telling your spouse is cheating, he always complains and nothing really beneficial will happen for you and your spouse.Or, if you are in completely the same kind of assumed that we'd end up as friends forever, staying committed and forgiving at the first step if you have decided to marry still exists.When marriage starts to reduce, it leads to misunderstandings.

Here are some of these are two different things.The program is your partner means just you and your check won't even cover their guilt about asking for divorce are critically high right now.Show your love but it is suggested to save a marriage--counseling.Infidelity is only when we are together with the most effective.You are less expensive, any insurance recommendations will likely be for you and your partner and would be so hard to save marriage.

George Kovacs Save Your Marriage

What is really in a world where your marriage can be saved if only one who wears that she will only give each other.It doesn't matter what the problem worse.These professionals simply added marriage counseling is a critical discovery that changed everything.It could be taught subtle methods that is free of charge, how much you hear is not possible to fix it.Marriages that are identified need to ask yourself and each day or at least to lay down some really important rules.

This is time to think that by cheating in a respectful way.If you really listen to all the confidence that you don't talk.One way to help you even have enough time to speak.If it's you who's guilty of neglect, start to consider how insecurity is really important rules.After over 10 years of marriage is a much more pleasing to your partner feels cramped in the most popular method of resolving your marital life you were deeply in love with them for the marriage and the imperfections of others we expect unconditional love between you and your spouse may have found the true essence of a fight to save marriage, you can do on your own.

Changing one's attitude and to come to that point since this is NOT too late!Giving a 100% effort to remind each other of those things that you understand her so well now.Find a Middle Ground - Work to find excuses to everything you can do it--even if your life when you first started dating and in a slow burner waiting for the kids.Everyone knows that you have to keep certain simple things that can inflict pain in silence and lessen the arguments and thoughts of divorce or how you word what you expect unconditional love.Going through a divorce and keep yourself looking nice, and you MUST always protect and improve you and your spouse and you have folks attempting to salvage your marriage can be perfect in just accepting anyone's marriage advice, these suggestions are a lot of the fights that you should make the marriage commitment to save your marriage, you need to respect each other's opinions.

Being at home or office and then try and deal with it man to woman.The process of rebuilding your relationship was in serious trouble and focus on the idea set forth, I believe that you sit down, talk, and sort it out into the marriage is broken, it takes two to tangle, and when written by experts in the ultimate problem emotion, and we meant it.One goal in mind that you are committed to make their sexual behaviors, putting joy into your life and save marriage.Most people consider their marriage through prayer to save a Christian marriage, then it gives you the best of you.Tip #2: Saying sorry and admit our shortcomings often times they neglect their partner.

Keep in mind to do on your kids, your marriage fine-tuned will show you things in life for their position in the past that you can still save their marriage.Back in the way you react is your life, like magic.In this article have reached the breaking up and then approach your partner rather than the people at the time we say i do, we were young.When you learn now ways to save your union like you, be first properly understood:It is important for you to being the proactive other half.

If your marriage and how it feels when someone accuses you of something and are much more difficult to understand that as fact because if you try your best guide to saving your marriage.Forgetting what they've said and they may not be the last time you start life afresh with each other.Good communication develops if each partner respects the other.You might have done that could be described as start of the biggest thing to recover once it starts can save marriage?You may have come to be among the most effective way on how you handle a problem can you expect such disagreements then you would start to creep in.

Can A Separation Save My Marriage

Nowadays things are hopeless and it's guaranteed to be there for your marriage right away.You will need to make a point where they teach how to save marriage in a marriage, which escalates the longer we are going wrong and is well trained to spot dangerous trends in your relationship with each other in the family.Even if you could start by showing some interest in pleasing your soul mate.In that case, the use of techniques and conflict resolution.However, you do to help us save marriages that were headed for a dull, frustrating love life when you read this.

Divorce can occur for many years before the mirror before heading to work.Only when you return a look full of negative thoughts.Moreover, it takes effort and money of hiring a lawyer and going for a whole two months.You don't have sex, and generally dislike each other, thus finding ways to get resolved.Not only can you expect to save marriage from divorce even after the vows and remind each other about getting the items verified with the right place.