#(wait. i think it was fifth grade. oh who fucking knows IT WAS THE 90s)

[partyinthemysterymachine]

OMG SLAYERS !! I’m actually still in love with Gourry!!

i have such bad and terrible news for you

[after-witch]

Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Title: Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Synopsis: Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you. 

Word Count: 7,592

Notes: yandere, kidnapped, humiliation, degradation, mentions of eating disorder behavior, improper use of household cleaning products, Overhaul is a mean man 90% of this fic is just Overhaul being an asshole to you

There are going to be bruises on your shoulders. Fingerprint shaped bruises from the men holding you steady, afraid that you'll try to sprint off--maybe afraid that you'll try to spring at their boss, disobedient, unruly possession that you are.

You know that Overhaul won't like it when he eventually sees those black-and-blue fingerprints marring your skin--he might kill them for it, or worse. They're digging in too hard, but you don't warn them to ease up lest they find themselves on the wrong end of Overhaul's hands; they brought you back to this place, after all, and they deserve nothing but your hot, raw contempt.

You could run. You could slip out of their grip, if you put your mind to it. Your clothes are wet and the medical table that you're sitting on is slippery from the rainwater that's dripped out from your soaked clothes. But Chisaki Kai--no, Overhaul, you remind yourself, for the energy he’s exuding now is very much that of a foreboding boss--is standing in front of you, and you'd never make it to the doorway.

"Leave us," Overhaul says, not bothering to move as the men gripping your shoulders release their painful hold and swiftly leave the room. He tears off a sanitizing wipe from the ever-present canister on his desk and wipes down the doorknobs that they touched, before locking the door. An unnecessary precaution, given your nerves, given your state, given your realization that your escape attempt was a massive fluke that would never be allowed to happen again.

You numbly watch as he gathers up supplies from around the makeshift clinic he'd created in the small suite of rooms he allowed you to exist in. The canister of disinfectant. Medical-grade soaps. Sponges. A bucket. Needles, needles, needles... you remember the feel of the syringe you'd stolen in your hand and distract yourself from the fear of what he's going to do to you by retracing the steps of the past day.

**

You got farther than you thought you would--really, you did. At every stage of your plan, you expected Chisaki to suddenly reveal that he knew every step you'd taken so far. That he'd catalogued every act of false obedience to lure him into relaxing the rules, that he saw you swipe the syringe of tranquilizer from the clinic when he'd left for a moment to grab a fresh pair of clothes for you, that he knew you asked to sit with him at his desk only to sneak a glance at his calendar, so you could sweetly plead for an afternoon in the garden when he would be busy, when he would surely ask a highly trusted subordinate to watch over you.

A highly trusted subordinate who knew all about your weeks of good, sweet behavior and who was none the wiser when you'd jabbed him with the syringe, plunging the medicine, the same kind your captor once used to 'calm you down' when you were having fits, right into the man’s thigh. 

You didn't hesitate: you'd dipped your hands into the man's pockets, pulled out his wallet and ran. You barely remember anything until you were in the forest--you vaguely remember using the key card to open the gates surrounding the base, you remember the fear that at any moment you would hear an alarm sound; but from there, everything was a blur as you sped into the forest wearing only the soft day shoes you'd been given to go outside.

You made it through the forest, though not without bumps and cuts and sore feet and a dimly throbbing ankle that was thankfully only turned. You ran until you reached a small town, one you'd never been in before. You buried your first instinct deep, deep, deep: do not contact the authorities. Who knows what connections Overhaul had, especially in a town so close to where he operated? So instead you waltzed into a little corner shop and made a beeline for the bathroom--where you promptly vomited out your breakfast as all of the anxiety and fear and adrenaline caught up with you in an instant.

You remember staring into the bathroom mirror afterwards, your face cold with splashed water. It was then, staring into your pale and anxious face, a face you hadn’t been allowed to see in a mirror for ages, that you felt freedom slamming back into you. You could do what you wanted, now. You were going to get your life back. You could make your own schedule and have your own hobbies back and eat what you wanted and--your stomach had gurgled, as if on cue. You had to get something to eat. But how would you pay?

The wallet you'd pilfered felt heavy in your pocket, and you opened it without a second thought. No cash. But a credit card. It would do, until you were able to get some cash of your own. You wandered back into the shop and even now, you can still feel how struck you were by how cozy, how nice, how different it felt. Just a small general store with big open windows and soft music in the background, and an old woman behind the register who immediately asked you if you needed any help finding this or that.

You smiled--a real smile, how nice that felt--and shook your head and loaded up a basket. A first-aid kit, a large water bottle, a toothbrush and toothpaste... then came the snacks. Candy. Chips. Soda. Things you hadn't tasted in so long. You even grabbed a pointless fashion magazine. The old woman had glanced at the name on the card and you offered a sheepish smile, a fake one that made you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her: "My boyfriend sent me to do the shopping. He's no good at this stuff." She'd smiled and nodded, oh I understand dear, before packing up your order.

You stepped out into the sunshine--you can't pretend like you remember how it feels, right now, shivering from the damp rain on this table--and took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled crisp and sweet and clean. Not the sterile cleanliness of your captor's clinic, but truly pure--real. There was a slight tinge to the air, and you spotted grey clouds on the horizon. Not an omen, no: just another sign that you were outside, you were in nature, you were free. The smell was the promise of thunder, of electricity, of cool rain.

It also smelled like... well, lunch. Or more precisely, you smelled the vague scents of the little pizza shop a few shops down.

And here is where you made, looking back, your biggest mistake. You should have headed to a bus station. Or called for a taxi. You should have gotten the hell out of there right that second. But your mind flashed back to Overhaul's little calendar, the words printed neatly in the little square for today: he would be away until the evening, which meant you (surely, surely) had a few more hours before he came back and discovered your escape.

He’d ordered no one to bother you and your now-unconscious guard in the garden, so if no one saw you run out, then an alarm certainly wouldn’t raised for a while. You had time, didn't you? Time to grab a meal? You could always get it to go, and you could even ask an employee inside about buses or taxes. Yes, it was fine--you would get a few slices to go and hop on a bus and leave forever. More than that, it was practical. You needed energy, and the junk in your bag--while undoubtedly delicious--wasn't going to be enough to sustain you for long.

The door to the pizza place dinged when you entered, and you almost teared up at the normality of it. It was a buffet style place, with rows of pizzas under yellow-cast lights and rows of red booths and people lifting slices onto their plates with shared tongs. Unusual for a small town, but maybe it was a remnant from a more bustling time, when American-style pizza places were all the rage. For a moment, your thoughts had turned back to your captivity: Overhaul would have never set foot into a place like this--nor would he have let you. Germs, germs, everywhere. And you loved it.

You paid with the card, but there was no need for excuses this time--the young man behind the register didn't even check for a name or signature, much less ask for identification. You asked about a to-go box and he'd shrugged, mumbled out an apology--they didn't do that here. You have to eat inside.

For a moment, the rational part of your mind screamed: get the hell out of here, then! But your stomach growled, and hunger beckoned, and damn if that row of glistening pizza slices didn't make you want to eat. And eat.  And… eat. You shoved repressed thoughts deep down, your heart hammering all the while, and took a tentative step towards the buffet. Thunder rumbled as you debated. You could be out of here in... 30 minutes? Enough time to eat--to binge, your mind whispered, you can now--and maybe get it out after? Yes, it would be fine. (It would not. Future you, the one sitting on the table and watching in increasing anxiety as Overhaul finishes up his tasks, wishes she could tell you.)

You should have seen the start of the rain, sudden and relentless, as a bad sign. Instead you ignored it and filled up a large cup with diet soda that spilled a little when you forgot to let go of the button. You ate without thinking, not even really enjoying the taste of the first greasy pizza slices you’d had in ages.

You were on your fifth slice when the restaurant doors dinged, but the sense of small town charm was overrun by the immediate realization that you were caught. You were fucked. The air thickened--were you the only one to notice?--as two men in slim suits entered the restaurant with an air of immediacy. You were spotted in a second, if that. You thought about running.

But then you thought about the bored teenager behind the register and the old man cutting up his wife's pizza slices because she had trouble chewing and the little girl stacking up pepperonis while her mom chatted on the phone and you resigned yourself. You didn’t want anyone else to get hurt…even if it meant giving in. You didn't struggle, couldn't struggle, and let them lead you swiftly outside where the torrent of rain soaked you immediately  as they pushed you down the block, where an unmarked car waited. You glanced up helplessly as the cloudy sky and rain streamed down your face before you were unceremoniously pushed into the backseat.

Overhaul was sitting inside, staring at you with an intensity you've never seen before.

**

Your backpack drops with a thump next to you and you flinch out of your memories.

"Let's see what you bought with that stolen card during your little adventure."  His voice is deceptively calm. He must be furious with you, you think. And you can't believe you didn't think about credit fraud alerts before you used the damn card.

The noise of the zipper is thunderous and you scoot yourself back on the exam table, pressing against the wall to put a little more room--even if it's only inches--between you and your captor. He begins to pull everything out of the bag, one by one, and seeing it all lined up makes it clear what type of lecture is coming.

A few bags of chips, a bottle of soda, bars of chocolate, all junk, junk, junk. All food he would never permit you to eat, and certainly not in such quantities.

"Disgusting," he murmurs, before tossing each item into a trash bin kept against the wall, one by one. You cringe at the sound of each bag, each bottle, hitting the bottom of the trash. You didn't even get to taste them. He stares at the trash, eyes narrowed, as if the food itself was worthy of his venom. "Full of unnecessary sugars and fats and oils. Eating so much of this will make you sick. We've talked about this."

You say nothing. You press your lips together. You won't give him the satisfaction of argument. You won't let him pretend like he has any right to lecture you on what you eat, and certainly not what you eat after you've escaped (however briefly) from his clutches.

"At least you didn't have time to ingest them during your ill-planned escape, hm?" He replaces his previous gloves--tainted with the thought of germs on the junk food bags, no doubt--and your stomach flips at the sound of the medical gloves he's snapped on in their place. "Which is more than I can say for the pizza." You never knew someone could say pizza with such a ridiculously nasty tone, but you've learned a lot of things during your captivity.

"You weren't content with this junk hoard," he says, gesturing towards the trash while keeping his eyes firmly on you. "You had to gorge yourself on greasy pizza from a dirty buffet, too? We are going to clean your mouth out, by the way.”

You hate the way he says gorge--you hate the way he says greasy--you hate the anxiety that comes with wondering what he’ll do to ‘clean’ your mouth. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. The hate makes you answer defensively, despite your earlier resolution to stay quiet. You can't help yourself, in a lot of ways.

"I was hungry," you say, still feeling defiant.

"No one working on their fifth slice of pizza is hungry," he answers, simply. You feel diminished, but not enough to shut you up.

"So? It's not your business what I eat anyway.” A familiar tightness is springing to your throat. You don't want to cry in front of him ever again, so you clip the words out, fighting to retain control.

He presses a fist to his forehead in a sudden, rather surprising show of frustration. "Not my business? Not my business? It's my business to take care of you. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you out there?"

The fullness in your stomach, the cold rain soaking you, the remembrance of the wind and branches lashing at you as you ran hours before, all these freedoms have made you feel bold. Or maybe you're succumbing to the effects of an adrenaline crash and you just can't control your mouth.

"I could have been free. You can’t--you can't just keep me here. You can't just kidnap someone and decide you know what's best for them."

There's a long, steady pause as he stares at you. His expression--what you can see from his eyes--is blank, and you almost wonder if perhaps you've stumped him.

"I can," he says, lightly. Easily.

Fucker.

He sighs, and you get the distinct impression that you’re a nuisance, something to deal with, something he’s having to deal with instead of doing far more important things. "You’re showing a severe lack of appreciation for all the work I do to take care of you."

You don't know how to respond to that. "You kidnapped me.” It’s all you can think of--the bare truth.

He doesn't speak at first. Then he lifts something from the supply tray he's set up--a blue hospital gown, thin and short, and tosses it towards you. You catch it instinctively, feeling the thin, feather-light material in your fingers. He tosses a towel, next, and you hold it against your damp chest. He turns around.

"Change."

You don't want to. You don't want to. But you've never pressed your luck on what would happen if you refused to get dressed before, afraid that he might do it himself, and that fear overrides any thoughts of outright rebellion. For now. You slide off your wet clothes and push them towards the end of the table, then use the towel to dry off your skin. There are scratches and bruises, including a nasty looking one that's already turning green on your ankle. Your feet are swollen from running on the hard forest floor with your thin day shoes.

When you're finished, you clear your throat, and he turns back around. He tosses your wet clothes right into the trash--damn, you liked that shirt--and wipes off the table with a separate towel. You sit, legs dangling off the table, and wish he'd just get the punishment or examination or whatever it is he has planned over with. You can feel the coldness of the table through the medical gown, and its thinness makes you feel even more helpless. Weak. You want to retain that feeling of freedom that you had earlier in the day. Even choosing to return without a fight, choosing to avoid hurting the innocent people in that town, made you feel bold.

He stands in front of you until you force yourself to look up, to get it over with. He's swapped out his mask for a medical one.

"Have I ever hurt you?"

You hate this.

"No," you admit, voice tight. "Not physically," you add spitefully, because fuck him for trying to make himself sound like a decent person because he kidnapped you but didn't happen to hit you.

"Do I take care of you?" His tone is firm, commanding. It leaves no room for silences. Instead, it makes your stomach feel light, makes your heart feel like it wants to race.

"I can do that on my own," you counter.

"Can you?" He says, voice dripping in condescension.

"Yes," you spite, bile rising into your throat. "I can take care of myself."

He reaches back and grabs the little stool he keeps in this room, rolling it up to rest in front of the table and in front of you. He sits down and cups his hands together, resting them on his thigh. He leans forward. An easy gesture. Like he wants to have a conversation. But something about his movements sends out warning signals. Big, glaring, flashing warning lights that scream DANGER.

“You can take care of yourself.” It’s a statement, yet the way he says it is brutally mocking.

“I can,” you insist, your voice cracking just the slightest bit under his gaze.

"So, where would you live?" He watches you intently and it takes a moment for you to realize what he just asked you. He isn't offering you freedom, no. But maybe you can win an argument, just this once, and forcibly stop his delusions that he's "taking care of you."

"Anywhere," you say, but he looks unimpressed. "An apartment," you correct. "Like my old one. Doesn't have to be big." Your heart pangs with nostalgia for your old place, for your independence, for your life.

"Ah." Overhaul brings a gloved finger up to his chin and rests is there, nodding, as if he's seriously considering your words. "And how will you pay for rent at this apartment?"

You can't resist the snarky tone. "A job."

He rests both hands on his thighs. "Tell me, how much did you make at your last job, again? No--tell me, how long did you hold your last job?" You cross your arms defensively around your waist as he continues. "If I recall correctly, you were fired rather quickly from that one... and the one before."

You squeeze your waist, hoping for the tiniest bit of comfort from the gesture. "I... it wasn’t my fault.” You feel like you’re under a magnifying glass. “The first time. And the second, well, I was looking for something better, anyway."

He raises his eyebrows, curious. "Looking where? At the bottom of a bottle?"

Your entire body tenses.

"After all," he continues, voice almost taking on a syrupy sweet tone. "Your fridge was so well-stocked with them. Hmm. Do you think it's responsible to spend so much money on alcohol when you're behind on rent payments?"

"No," you say, voice tighter, "But--"

He doesn't give you a chance to finish. He stands, and you immediately squeeze your arms again. "And how much were you spending on other luxuries? Those clothes you kept carelessly shoved in your closet... they were a name brand, weren't they?"

Your throat is dry and your mouth is dry and you lick your lips. "There were sales," you insist.

"Ohh," he says, his voice lifting in mockery. "And I bet there were sales on the jewelry, the trinkets, the--" his eyes drift upwards, an implication of his disdain, "--figurines."

You lift your chin in defiance. "I'm allowed to buy things that I like."

He begins to pace. Not aimlessly, no, nothing with him is ever aimless. He paces until he stops in front of you, turning to face you for effect.

"What happens if you're late on three rent payments? Remind me of the policy that decrepit building you called an apartment complex had."

You squirm on the table. "I was only behind on two--"

"What happens?" His voice is firm. You can't avoid it.

There's a pause before you murmur, unwillingly. "You get evicted."

"So." He takes another step, and turns back towards you. "Do you think it's responsible to spend money you don't have on luxuries, when you're behind on rent?"

You want to run. Maybe you should have run at him earlier. Getting tossed into a solitary room after attacking him might be better than this interrogation.

"No," you admit. You swallow, dry and thick and a bit painful. "Okay. I'm not great with money. I bought things to make me happy because I was stressed out about---life. It's not that big a deal. I--I didn't get kicked out, anyway."

He sits again, but keeps himself upright, the air of faux casualness replaced with an air of command. "How did you catch up on your rent? Tell me."

You hate him. You stare at him, hoping he'll end this, but he simply stares at you until you blurt out the words. "You paid my landlord. Anonymously." You stare down at the floor, at the drops of water still there from earlier. "I didn't ask you to. I would have figured something out."

"I'm sure."

He stands, and you stare at the wall until you hear him roll the tray of supplies towards the table. Your body trembles of its own accord when he grabs your arm firmly and wraps a blood pressure cuff around the top. You sit in silence as the cuff gets tighter then mercifully deflates.

He tsks at the number, and jots it down on the pad resting on the table. For once, you're not tempted to peek.

"I need to take some blood," he says, and you stick out your arm in automatic, habitual compliance before your brain even realizes it. He grips your wrist firmly while he swipes your arm with an anti-bacterial agent.

"How much do you weigh?" He asks suddenly, voice nonchalant.

You stare at him, incredulous. He's never brought up weight before. He’s always been careful to avoid details about weight, nutrition--calories. The most he would do is point out that you need a well-rounded diet with the right vitamins and nutrients, and ignore your questions about sauces and cooking oils and grams, all attempts to find out something that could give you an ounce of control over what’s going into your body.

"I--I don't know.  You don't let me look at the scale when I step on it." He knows this. He knows that he's forbidden you from seeing the number, because he knows about your past, knows your tendency to get obsessive and strict and focus on food and weight and worth.

"Why don't I let you look at the scale?"

Your stomach feels like it's twisting.

"I don't know." The lie is bitter on your tongue.

The casual tone in his voice when he replies is far more biting than any cruel insult. "Yes, you do." 

His words are punctuated by the harsh medicinal smell of the next wipe. But you're in no mood to appreciate that he's still choosing to numb your skin despite your earlier transgressions.

The tears you felt building earlier begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You don't want to cry, you don't want to cry, you don't want to cry.

“Why don’t I let you look at the scale?” He repeats, firmer, more insisting. He winds a band around your arm and taps at your veins.

Your arm looks fatter, like this. You swear it does. You look away to avoid your arm and the needle and his gaze.

“Because, um, I sometimes have problems with food. Or weight. Or whatever.”

“You have an eating disorder,” he tells you, all business as he plunges the needle into your skin; there’s only the ghost of a sting as he begins to slowly draw your blood. But you barely feel it, you can only feel the impact of his words, blunt and hateful.

"You were going to throw up in that germ-infested hovel. Eat until your stomach was distended, then head into a bathroom--which I'm sure the staff hadn't cleaned in ages--and stick your unwashed, greasy fingers down your throat until it all came back up. Am I correct?"

You can't tell if you feel woozy because of the needle or the way that your heart is racing at his words. Throw up. Greasy. Disgusting. You're disgusting.

"Stop it," you say, voice muddled with humiliation and anger.

He pulls the needle out, and quickly presses a bandage to your skin. He keeps a finger there, firm and pressing. He looks up at you, now, as he continues his onslaught.

"And then what? Let me make an educated guess. You were going to get on some filthy bus and open up all the junk you bought earlier? Perhaps," he muses, as he rips off a piece of tape to keep the gauze in place, "you could have asked the bus driver to stop at a public bathroom for a vomit break. And you'd probably make sure that whatever flea-ridden hotel you found along the way had a scale in the bathroom so you could keep track. And another one of your delightful," he practically spits the word out, "cycles would have started, hm?"

"Stop it," you repeat, voice breaking. "I wasn't--I wouldn't have--"

"You were going to," he says simply, interrupting. "Thankfully, we got there in time. Although I'm sure now you will endure a stomach ache after your reckless indulgence. A lesson, perhaps, though not the exact one I would inflict myself."

As if on cue, your stomach rolls and clenches. You’re keenly aware that you’re going to have digestive problems tonight, and the thought of being at his mercy while you’re dealing with them threatens to send you over the edge.  Could you get even more disgusting? The thought of how you look right now, stomach no doubt bulging, hair disheveled and damp, covered in ugly bruises and cuts--combined with the fear of spending the night on a toilet sends you over the edge.

You press your knuckles against your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut and try to force the sobs down. Your body begins to tremble, even more so as he lifts your leg. Without warning, he begins to unceremoniously scrub it down with a sponge dipped in disinfectant.

It stings and your eyes feel like they might pop at the sudden pain. You hiss at the feeling of the liquid on your cuts and try to pull away, to no avail. Your legs feel like jelly in his grip.

“That hurts,” you whine. 

“It can’t be helped,” he tells you, holding your leg firmly as he scrubs the sore bottom of your feet. Any sensitivity you had there is overruled by the soreness and pain from running, from the stinging aches that remain in your cuts. “I have to clean every cut or you may get an infection.”

He sets your leg down and lifts up the other, and you cringe before he even begins to move. You can’t help but whimper as he scrubs your leg, and the helpless stings of pain only increase when he moves on to your arms.

“Please,” you say, feeling low, nearly flattened. “I can’t… I can’t take this.”

He pauses, and the seemingly genuine concern in his eyes (it’s not, you remind yourself, it’s not--you think of the shop and the pizza place and the old man cutting his wife’s food, that was concern, that was care) has you feeling sorry for yourself.

“The stinging will go away in a few minutes. You chose to run away, you can certainly deal with this minor consequence.” He retains his grip on your upper arm and he swipes the sponge across your shoulders, briefly pushing the fabric aside as he does so. He pauses when he sees the blooming fingerprints on your shoulders, but says nothing.  You wonder if those men will survive the night.

There’s a a cut, thin and long, dragging from your collarbone down across your chest. He dips unceremoniously below the gown, touching you in a spot he normally avoids. The feeling of him so close, touching you--not quite on your chest, but close enough--only intensifies your humiliation. You whimper again and try to pull away, but his grip offers no room to move.

“I can’t--” You don’t finish. Your throat is so tight and you hate it, you hate that you can never talk about anything with him, never argue with him without clamming up with tears and a thick throat.

You bring your hands up to your hair, tugging on it until it prickles. Your breath starts to come in short bursts, your chest having as you pull on your hair and will yourself to be anywhere but here. For a flashing moment, you wish you’d never tried to escape. If you didn’t, you’d be getting ready for bed right now. Things would be--not okay. Never okay. But you wouldn’t be here, on this table, cold and stinging and in pain and utterly despondent from having your failures shoved in your face. But then you remember that if he’d never kidnapped you, you wouldn’t have had to try to escape in the first place, and the wish fades.

He remains silent, and instead simply keeps a steady, firm grip on your upper arm until your breath slows, until you can control yourself. Your skin feels at once numb and prickling in anxiety and adrenaline and emotions coursing through you.

Overhaul gives your arm a squeeze that is, perhaps, meant to be reassuring. “Are you suitably recovered?

You nod. Your stomach feels sour. You want to ask if you’re done, if you can just go sleep or get sent (you dread the idea) to solitary confinement or whatever it is he has planned in the wake of your escape. Anything would be better than this room and this soft, thin gown and his bright blue surgical gloves and your failure hanging in the air.

He extends his arm out and you pause for a moment before you grasp it, holding tight as you get off the table and stand on wobbly legs. You’re loathe to touch him, but you’re even more loathe to fall flat on your face on the hard floor.

He speaks before you get a chance to ask if you can change out of the medical gown.

“Now, we’ll go to the bathroom.”

Your knees suddenly feel like they might drop out from under you. “The bathroom?”

He nods, and pulls himself away from your weak grip as he begins walking towards the door. You follow without thinking, pausing when he stops to slide his medical gloves into the trash before slipping on another pair.

“We’re not finished here,” he tells you, and you swear his voice is almost giddy as he turns his head to meet your questioning face. “I told you earlier, we’re going to clean your mouth out.”

He can’t mean--

You take a step back, and your knee buckles. He’s quick--he catches you before you fall, but doesn’t let go. His pulls you upright and pulls you along. Your legs have no choice to walk--walk or be dragged--and you struggle for words as he leads you out of the clinic. Before you know it, you’re back in your room (familiar, warm, the same as it ways this morning) and led swiftly into the attached bathroom.

He pulls you in far enough that he’s able to shut the door behind him, trapping you inside. As if you wouldn’t be trapped by his mere presence. For a moment you wonder if he was bluffing, trying to scare you into submission, but by the time you take another breath he’s running the sink water and tearing into a new box of bar soap.

Your voice catches as you finally speak up. “You--you can’t be serious.”

“What makes you think I’m not serious?” He doesn’t even face you as he speaks. Instead, he turns on the tap and fills a paper cup with water before setting it on the sink’s edge. Next comes the bar of white soap, which grows slick underneath the water. He turns off the tap and lets the excess water drip off, before turning to you, soap bar in hand.

“Open your mouth.”

Your lips press together automatically, and you shake your head. No, no, and no. This isn’t happening.

He sighs, and again the feeling that you’re annoying him creeps under your skin. Why does it bother you that you’re annoying him? It shouldn’t bother you at all, but somehow you feel a pang of regret at how much has changed in less than 24 hours. 

“If you don’t open your mouth willingly, I will open it for you.” He takes a step closer, but your legs feel heavy now, rooted to the spot. It isn’t like there’s anywhere you could run, anyway. “I don’t want to do that,” he continues, voice slightly softened. “Cooperate and open your mouth.”

What choice do you have? You could protest, you could argue, you could leap into the bathtub and make him fight for what he wants. You could keep your mouth shut tight and force him to find a solution. But he is stronger than you, in more ways than one, and he would get his way in the end.

So you make the only choice available to you. Your entire mouth shakes and seems to fight against you as you slowly open your lips in compliance. You feel stupid, standing here with your mouth hanging open.

You can’t reflect on the feeling for long, as he wastes no time in shoving the bar inside your open lips. You can’t help but whimper at the intrusion, but he doesn’t let up and begins methodically scrubbing at your tongue. At first, there’s no taste--then the built-up slick of clinical soap makes itself known, and you take advantage of the soap slipping out of your lips to press them together again, denying him entry.

“Open,” he orders, soft and firm.

And you do, heaving your shoulders in an unreleased whimper. What else can you do but listen? He continues to scrub, this time moving the bar into the side of your mouth to scrub at your teeth. The clammy, greasy feeling of soap coating your teeth makes you curl your wide open lips downward. You must look ridiculous, in all respects, lips gaping in an unpleasant frown as your captor mercilessly soaps the inside of your mouth.

“Do you not like the taste?” His eyes glance over at your frown, and the mockery in his tone is more than blatant. 

“Uhh-uhh,” you mumble, open-mouthed, shaking your head. The position you’re in--Overhaul scrubbing into your mouth, your shaking body, the dim feeling of your bruises and cuts from earlier--makes you feel so painfully exposed. So painfully helpless.

He hums and rests the soap against your tongue. Before you can attempt to move your tongue, lessen the feeling of the taste of the soap against it, he gives you a command.

“Bite down.”

Your teeth sink into the soft bar, keeping it in place, and your whimpers grow stronger at the humiliating order you’ve just obeyed. Could you sink any lower?

You watch him through tear-brimmed eyes as he moves to stand in front of you. You know what’s coming before he even speaks and when he does, it’s no surprise.

“Have I ever hurt you?”

Back to this, again.

You shake your head, mumble around the soap: “No.”

“Are you capable of being on your own?”

You hesitate, and he merely jumps to another question, one far more pointed.

“Have you held a single job for longer than a year?”

You want to protest, but any attempt at complicated speech is marred by the soap--the weight of it, the taste, and your need to keep it steady in your mouth.

“No,” you admit, hating the feel of the bar as your lips press against it with the effort of speech.

“Would you have been evicted if I didn’t pay off your debts?”

“Yes.” Tears sting at your eyes. You want to wipe them away but you’re afraid you’ll get soap in them, somehow.

“Are you responsible enough with money to hold a job, maintain an apartment, and buy yourself the necessities for life without someone else stepping in?”

The soap somehow tastes even more bitter. “No, I can’t.” Your tongue pushes up against the soap at this, and you resolve to keep it to one-word answers only.

“If we didn’t intercept your little outing, would you have attempted to throw up at that restaurant today?”

You shake your head, but it’s a lie, and you know it’s a lie--and he knows it’s a lie. So you nod, weakly. “Mm-hmm.”

“Have I been feeding you healthy meals? Have I been ensuring that you don’t engage in disgusting self-destructive behaviors?”

He has, but that’s not--your mind wants to argue, but you’re so tired and sick and your stomach hurts and the taste of the soap is too much. So you nod, instead.

He nods in response, and you pray that he’ll take the soap out and end this. Instead, he lifts your chin with a single finger, making you keep eye contact as he speaks.

“Do I take care of you?”

“Yes,” you cry out, your words garbled around the wet soap bar. He releases your chin and it’s these words, this final question, that make you break entirely. Your shoulders ache from bruises as you cry, hunching over slightly and watching as some drool-laden soap droplets fall on the floor. “Yes, yes, yes,” you repeat, mechanically, crying around the bitter soap that’s digging into your front teeth.

Satisfied, he takes hold of the bar and waits for you to release it, then tosses it with ease into the trash. You blubber and spit, only succeeding in releasing a trail of soapy drool down your chin. Your tears are hot and stinging as they roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth, you try to say something, but all that comes out is soft cries punctuated by your attempts to spit out the soapy film.  

“Look at you,” he murmurs, bringing a gloved hand up to your cheek and wiping at the tears. “My poor thing. You can’t even speak. You can’t even articulate yourself. How could you ever hope to make it on your own?” His words are soft and cruel and you merely cry harder, humiliated and helpless.

Your throat is sore. Your stomach hurts. You want your warm nightgown on. You want to be in bed. You wish your stomach didn’t hurt so much from eating junk. You wish you weren’t covered in cuts and bruises. You wish you’d just enjoyed the garden and went back inside. You wish you’d never done this at all. You’re so stupid. You’re so stupid.

And you finally say so, all of it, blubbering, bits of soapy drool dribbling out of your mouth as you cry and admit your faults out loud.

After your wrought-out apology dissolves into meaningless whimpers, Overhaul finally grabs the glass of water he set on the edge of the sink, and you gratefully swish the lukewarm liquid with earnest. You lean over the sink and spit, body trembling, then fill the cup again and repeat the gesture again and again to get rid of every bit of white soap stuck in your mouth. Even as you spit, you realize that the taste isn’t going to be completely gone anytime soon--it’s stuck in your mouth like a bad memory.

You jerk when his hands are suddenly on your back, rubber gloves sliding up and down the thin medical gown covering your cold, helpless body. But he merely keeps rubbing, gentle and soothing, while you swish and spit, and cry and cry.

His hands leave your back only to grab a washcloth from the built-in shelves across from the toilet. You watch as he wets the cloth and you stand silently, allowing him to wipe up the drool and soap from your chin, your neck, even a bit on your chest where it dribble-dropped downward.

When you’re all cleaned up, he fills up a cup with mouth wash and silently hands it to you. You gratefully swish it for as long as possible before spitting it into the sink. The soap taste is still there, but lessened somewhat by the overpowering mint of the mouthwash. He gestures to your toothbrush and you pick it up, and begin mechanically brushing your teeth, stopping when the 2-minute timer flashes on the bottom. You instinctively grab your floss without having to be told and make quick work of that, too.

He opens the door to the bathroom, but gestures for you to wait. You do, standing numbly, wishing that he let you have a mirror so you could see your own state. But he doesn’t, and you can’t, and so you wait until he returns with a bundle in his arms.

It’s your pajamas. A soft, pink nightgown--he didn’t pick the soft blue one, tonight, and you’re grateful to avoid any reminders of the medical gown you have on--with matching socks and underwear. You nod and accept the bundle meekly. He turns around and you make quick work of the medical gown, tossing it in the trash yourself before you get dressed for bed.

“M’done,” you mumble, though you quickly realize speaking makes the lingering soap taste stronger. You follow him silently out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, which is just as you left it that morning. The only thing different is you. Subdued, humiliated, helpless.

Overhaul pulls the cover on your bed and you sit down, numb and chastened. You pull your legs up and tuck them under the soft comforter. You’re forcing yourself into the routine you’ve been following for the past few weeks, but the secret thrill you once had of obeying with ulterior movies is no longer there. It’s been replaced by a heavy stillness, the knowledge that you failed in more ways than one. The occasional roll of your stomach reminds you that the night may not be over, bedtime routine be damned.

But you ignore it for now, and you lean your head back on your pillow as he pulls the comforter towards your shoulders, tucking you in. Rather than leave immediately, he sits next to you on the bed, looking down at you with an obsessive, possessive expression in his eyes.

You force down an instinctive flinch when he suddenly begins to stroke the top of your forehead, moving up to pet your hair softly. His gloves are gone. While not completely new, it’s rare--rare enough that the feeling of his bare fingers is still an unusual sensation.

You close your eyes. It usually makes him leave faster. Your heart begins to pound as you hear him stand, as you sense him leaning in, as you feel the ghost of his breath against your face.

“Sweet dreams. We’ll start fresh in the morning.”

What a silly thing to say, you think. Your dreams are never sweet anymore.

[na-klar]

druck nora ep 2 translation

Friday, 17:03

Ava: Do you want to drink something?

Nora: Oh yeah, thanks.

Ava: Exhausting day?

Nora: Yeah... until 10th period, dude. You?

Ava: Mh, pretty chill.

Nora: Nice. We were in the same class in fifth grade, right? But I feel like I haven’t seen you for a long time in school.

Ava: Yeah, I was a year in Alaska.

Nora: Alaska?!

Ava: Mhm!

Nora: Whaaat? Okay, that’s wild.

Ava: Yes...

Nora: Oh wait, sorry.

Zoe: Hey Nori, we’re on our way to the parking lot. Are you coming? We’d be really happy ☀

Nora: Good, uhm... should we start?

Ava: Let’s wait for the others. I’m sure they’re coming soon.

Nora: Okay.

Ava: The owner of this Späti(*) is super nice, by the way.

Nora: Really?

Ava: Yes!

Nora: Cool.

Ava: Yeah. We’ll have to have all our Abi meetings here.

Nora: Yeah, definitely. Support your local Späti, right?

Ava: Yes, exactly! Do you think the others are really all drinking alcohol right now?

Nora: I think they are, unfortunately. Let’s see.

Zoe: Guyyyyssss! Tomorrow huge parking lot rave! We’re drinking away all the money!

Constantin: The abi is getting cancelled so we’ll drink away all the money.

Ismail: Fuck Corona, fuck Corona.

Nora: My god, that’s so embarrassing. What?

Ava: Sorry. Damn! I just had a thougt... when I was in Alaska - it was really rough with these guys in 9th grade. Maybe you noticed it, too.

Nora: I didn’t really know them back then-

Ava: It was extremely shitty. And I thought, yeah, I’ll go away for a year, forget about it, and become a new person! Then I come back and the great thing is they’re still the same assholes. I’ve learned to defend myself but... but they always find something to show how great they are. I don’t want to let these jerks win all the time anymore. What’s that?

Nora: Ah, I found that...

Ava: Show me. Okay? What is that?

Nora: Okay, this is going to sound weird but some dude ran into me, I let my phone fall, it’s cracked now, and then I found his fanny pack and now we’re writing stickers to each other.

Ava: Okay, that sounds cool. And how..?

Nora: Like I said, he smashed my phone to the ground and then I took his fanny pack--

Fatou: Hey, where is everyone?

Nora: Nobody else came.

Fatou: But Kieu My and the rest posted it in their stories, didn’t they?

Nora: We’re the others.

Fatou: Oh...

Ava: Yep. We’re not the party, we’re the abi committee. You swapped the addresses.

Fatou: Fuck.

Mailin: Hey guys, we have to go to that parking lot immediately.

Fatou: Yes!

Ava: No! We’re the abi committee and you are?

Mailin: I know, I’m Mailin. I saw what they posted in their stories. We can’t let them do that! They’re drinking away all the money from our year! We have to stop them somehow.

Ava: Okay. How?

Mailin: I have an idea. Constantin and Ismail and everyone, they can wrap it up. Are you coming?

Ava: Let’s go, hm?

Nora: Alright, let’s go.

Nora: Hey!

Ismail: Oh, look at that.

Zoe: Nora!

Ismail: You’re hanging out with her now?

Nora: With Ava? Yes.

Finn: Do you want a beer?

Ismail: Shut up.

Ava: Little bit of a 90′s village festival, here on the parking lot, don’t you think?

Constantin: What do you want?

Fatou: Your souls.

Mailin: It’s just really rude what you’re doing here. Anyone who saw the story can come over and steal the money.

Constantin: Don’t be annoying.

Ismail: If you want your 10 € back, go on. But let us have fun here.

Nora: Wow, you guys are so cool. I see 10 people showed up! 

Zoe: Nora... let it be.

Nora: Man, no! You’re not ruling over our whole fucking year. You’re in school acting like you’re the absolute greatest and are dragging other people down only because you have an inferiority complex. I’m not part of this anymore.

Mailin: Woo! Okay guys, I got the money!

(* Späti: convenience store in Berlin)

[xbarrjallenx]

Prompt List

Pairing: Only some of 13 Reasons Why Characters, such as Alex Standall, Clay Jensen, Hannah Baker, Jeff Atkins, Jessica Davis, Justin Foley, Montgomery de la Cruz, Tony Padilla, Tyler Down and Zach Dempsey.

Rules: Send me as many numbers as you like from the list, specify the character and gender of the reader.

Take note: I am using the numbers just once, so I am crossing out the phrases that I already used. If ever I get two requests with some different numbers, I will still consider your request, but the number won’t be used by someone anymore.

Enjoy!

1. “Shut up, I’m trying to study here.” 2. “Oh my God! Did you just fart?!” 3. “Home is whenever I’m with you.” 4. “I’m sorry, Mr. It’s my period week, don’t bother me.” 5. “Why, all of the sudden, you are this interested in my life?” 6. “I despise you too, so don’t think that I’m fine with you texting me.” 7. “Never in your wildest dreams.” 8. “What do you think? Let’s give it another shot?” 9. “I am just protecting you.” 10. “Appreciate what I do for you, even just for once.” 11. “I have never asked for your help.” 12. “Damn, you get high grades but you never understood it?” 13. “I can give you a ride.” 14. “Let’s skip our next classes?” 15. “It was the fifth time I’m calling her phone.” 16. “I can’t tell it to you through the phone, meet me after your duty at work?” 17. “Well, she’s hot. Why don’t you try to date her?” 18. “I prefer to do it on my own, thanks.” 19. “I’m busy, can’t you wait for a while?” 20. “Good! I wouldn’t stand if I have to break someone’s heart for his best friend.” 21. “Just because I’m a girl, you think that I can’t win against you?” 22. “Do you think she’s angry?” 23. “How I wish that was me.” 24. “I knew you would end up together.” 25. “We have an unfinished business here.” 26. “Can I have a good luck kiss?” 27. “How’s the taste of defeat?” 28. “You look sexy in these glasses.” 29. “I love him and nothing’s ever going to stop us.” 30. “As long as we’re together, there are two less lonely people in this world.” 31. “Hey, what’s this mess all about?” 32. “I still have our photographs, but there’s no way I’m showing them to you.” 33. “You have 5 fractures in just one hand.” 34. “What did you punch?” 35. “I love Superman.” 36. “There are no bells ringing.” 37. “I’m sorry for pretending." 38. “You seem sad.” 39. “I’m just tired.” 40. “Your girlfriend hates me too.” 41. “Just a little bit.” 42. “You both know each other?” 43. “I didn’t bring you here to tease me.” 44. “I’m just stating the truth.” 45. “You need that more than I do.” 46. “But on the serious side, we decided to remain friends.” 47. “He’s jealous.” 48. “We’re not together anymore.” 49. “I just wanted you for my lusts.” 50. “I am an idiot heartless man for making you cry.” 51. “What if she gets hurt?” 52. “We need to be professional here, so stop bothering me.” 53. “Listen to me for once and for all.” 54. “You’re not obliged to save me.” 55. “He never left my side, mostly when I needed him the most.” 56. “I am not asking you to save me.“ 57. “It’s just a matter of principle.” 58. “Can a broken heart damage my body system?” 59. “I’m trying to be nice here.” 60. “Stop mocking me!” 61. “And you’re just mocking me.” 62. “You really broke her.” 63. “I’m starting to question my sexuality.” 64. “Am I the only one who ships them?” 65. “That dress is surely short for you.” 66. “I’m here, I care for you.” 67. “Without you in this world? I would be lost.” 68. “Your girlfriend would hate me even more.” 69. “You’re really beautiful when you smile!” 70. “Can we go home now?” 71. “You can sleep on the couch or sleep beside me, it’s up to you.” 72. “I missed sleeping with you.” 73. “Where did you get that hickey?” 74. “There’s no way I’m getting a hickey, duh!” 75. “There’s something strange happening in this place.” 76. “What are those slaps for?” 77. “I need to go back to work.” 78. “He’s too handsome and nice to do such thing.” 79. “Why do you seem so happy in these days?” 80. “Not when you have a lipstick stain on your lips.” 81. “Aren’t you convinced?” 82. “Idiot, you made me worry!” 83. “I will protect you just like how Clark Kent protected Lois Lane.” 84. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just being overprotective once again.” 85. “You’re the only one who cares for me.” 86. “Why are you so quiet?” 87. “Send me that picture, asshole!” 88. “What does that kiss mean?” 89. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” 90. “There’s always the couch for you.” 91. “As long as you sleep on the couch.” 92. “Get your ass over here because I want to have some rest!” 93. “You’re so cute in your pyjamas.” 94. “Maybe you can wake up from reality!” 95. “What the fuck was that for?” 96. “I know that you still love me.” 97. “I would die if you continue doing that thing.” 98. “C’mon, let me hug you tight.” 99. “Pinky promise?” 100. “Were you eavesdropping?”

[stateofirrelevancy]

Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13​ thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried:  Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to

[silveraspens]

Thank you @loserofliverpool for tagging me in this impressively long questioner 😂 Nobody will probs read this but whatever Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: My dad 3. Text message: My friend 4. Song you listened to: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene 5. Time you cried: Today ;_; HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Me?? Date?? Haha!! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I haven't kissed anyone :/ (other than like my cat) 8. Been cheated on: Fucking Quinn Tanish looked over at my Egyptian history test in the fifth grade and I've still not entirely recovered 😤 9. Lost someone special: Many times :/ 10. Been depressed: yeppppp I haven't been "diagnosed" but you don't need a weather man to know that it's raining 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: In thankfully not someone who really pukes 😂 tho I came close when I took a shot of fireball (I hate cinnamon) LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. Maroon 13. Yellow/Gold 14. Teal/Turquoise/Mint IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Um yes!! So many I'm really happy about it 16. Fallen out of love: Can't break what isn't there 😂 17. Laughed until you cried: Many times yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that I can remember? But yeah probably 19. Met someone who changed you: dude yes two people in particular 20. Found out who your friends are: Mainly just had my current friendships strengthened 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Still haven't kissed anyone, and I deactivated my Facebook yo GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: when I had it, I knew all 33 of my friends irl 😂 then I deleted it cause it was all school people I wanted to forget 23. Do you have any pets: 4 cats 1.5 dogs 2turtles 24. Do you want to change your name: Maybe if I get married, tho Morgan Plant doesn't really roll off the tongue 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: hung out in my friend Kylie's basement... I think 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Old Greg / Guy on a buffalo with my buddyyyyyy 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to be married to a gorgeous hippie guy with 2-3 kids and living in a tiny house in the mountains surviving off ArtiNg U-U a girl can fantasize can't she??? 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2ish hours ago 😂 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had ambition 31. What are you listening right now: Night Flight 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah my Grandpa was named Tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My art block / epic procrastination "oh no don't worry I'll go to college, I just need to decide where I want to go!!" 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr or cracked- but probably Tumblr 35. Mole/s: I have a shit ton on my shoulders arms and chest 36. Mark/s: I think I have a birthmark on the base of my skull 37. Childhood dream: Dr.Morgan the Paleontologist 38. Haircolour: Dark strawberry blonde 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Um in real life no... partially cause I have dissociated with reality and fallen in love with Robert Plant 41. What do you like about yourself: I like my eyelashes (they're naturally dark and curled!!) 42. Piercings: None! Not even in my ear lobes 43. Bloodtype: No clue, tho I've always been curious 44. Nickname: Morgs, asshole 45. Relationship status: I was born alone and I'll die alone 46. Zodiac: *new age hippie voice* Sun-Libra Moon-Gemini Rising-Leo 47. Pronouns: She/Her or Dude 48. Favourite TV Show: ...Supernatural... 49. Tattoos: None, but i want one 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Do wisdom teeth count? Like I was knocked out but ??? 52. Hair dyed in different color: I've made it darker, redder and lighter- but mostly I've just "enhanced" my natural color 53. Sport: I played basketball in the 1st grade. I'm not coordinated or aggressive enough. Also organized sports are fascist man 55. Vacation: New Zealand pls 56. Pair of trainers: Just some beat to shit Chucks MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: A half frozen piece of pizza 58. Drinking: Milk or agua 59. I’m about to: Go to bed 61. Waiting for: Me finishing this questioner 62. Want: Love ambition and motivation 63. Get married: I'd really really really want this- I just need to find a guy :/ 64. Career: anything artistic or creative WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs are cuter 66. Lips or eyes: Lips, eyes are overrated 67. Shorter or taller: I'm happy with my height 68. Older or younger: Younger, send my ass back to 6years old. That's when I peaked 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I would like to have a nice stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: both (?) 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, hooking up depresses me 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the situation HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: Unfortunately 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: not yet 77. Turned someone down: Yeeeeee 78. Sex in the first date: Unless this dude was like Robert Plant incarnate, no way- I think it's smarter to wait and form an emotional bond 79. Broken someone’s heart: Fuck I don't think so?? 80. Had your heart broken: *emo voice* too many times to count 81. Been arrested: No but the police did tell me to stop singing so loud 😂😂😂 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: Can't say I have, DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: ha I wish 85. Miracles: without a doubt 86. Love at first sight: I believe in Lust at first sight but not love 87. Santa Clause: duhhhh(no) 88. Kiss on the first date: nothing too saucy 89. Angels: ...yes 90. Current best friends name: JOSIE, My Mom, Kylie, Nadia, Ro, Emily, Shannon, Angie, 91. Eyecolour: is like to say hazel or "amber" but no- just brown 92. Favourite movie: The Big Lebowski hands down @all-my-favourite-people-that-I-talk-to-on-the-regular Jk Idk if you feel like doing this tag me and I'll read it Go nuts my dudes

[gaycoruscant]

91 Questions Tag

Thanks to Liv ( @sixty-seven-protons ) for tagging me to answer this mountain of random facts

THE LAST – 
 1. Drink: Water
 2. Phone call: My friend trying to tell me I was late for a band meeting (yikes!)
 3. Text message: Jon, quote: “oh” as said in reference to being decked in front of the emoji movie theater.
 4. Song I listened to: “DKLA” by Troye Sivan
 5. Time you cried: Idk, Thursday??? Last Wednesday????? Something like that.

HAVE YOU EVER –
 6. Dated someone twice: No
 7. Been cheated on: No I’ve always been a single pringle 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope
 9. Lost someone special: I guess
 10. Been depressed: Yeah tb to November when it was real bad
 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS –
 12. The yellow color of a ripe wheat field in the sunset
 13. Forest green
 14. Sapphire blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU –
 15. Made new friends: Yeah! I went from having friends who were only friends at school to having actual people to hang out with, plus a few more
 16. Fallen out of love: I’ve fallen out of crushes
 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep. It was with that shittyflute Toxic video. Look it up. It will CHANGE you.
 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not really, no
 19. Met someone who changed you: Hell yeah @ my friends
 20. Found out who your true friends were: For the most part.

MORE – 
 21. Kissed someone on your facebook? No I don’t have facebook
 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? Zero, as in I have no facebook and no facebook friends
 23. Do you have any pets? My dog Lucy!!!
 24. Do you want to change your name? Not really anymore but there was a time where I wished I was named Tara
 25. What did you do on your last birthday? Fucking band camp
 26. What time did you wake up? 8 in the morning (thanks, band)
 27. What were you doing at midnight? Drowning myself in the sweet sweet voice of Troye Sivan
 28. Name something you can’t wait for: To hang out with my friends in a few days
 29. When was the last time you saw your mother? Yesterday
 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I’d make my good ol’ Texas small town more gay-friendly
 31. What are you listening to right now? Wind chimes
 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? No.
 33. Something that is getting on your nerves? Unwanted questions from family members.
 34. Most visited site: This wonderful hellsite

SCHOOL – 
 35. Elementary: The good ol’ days. My gay self was gay as FUCK back then but did anyone know? No. Did anyone care? No. But I was happy with all my friends and we gossiped and played games like lava monster at recess. Then FIFTH GRADE comes along and, story time! Toxic masculinity (aka my brother) makes a stupid comment that goes “why are all your friends girls” in that stupid prepubescent boy mocking voice and my submissive childhood self gives in and decides to change to be “more like the other boys” and that is where my life went to hell.
 36. Middle: OH BOY!!! Puberty + new school + new insecurities thanks to my new friend Toxic Masculinity = a very bad few years
 37. High: To summarize: Fuck masculinity I’m gonna be GAY and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from being my feminine self (except force me to hide myself from homophobes)
 38. College: A Concept: I go a prestigious high-end Ivy League, 3000 miles away from the homophobes I deal with daily. I get a nice boyfriend and we live a nice apartment together. We love each other very much and help each other in our studies and we support each other’s artistic endeavors. I graduate top of my class and become a well off scientist/poet and we get paid well enough to marry at age twenty-eight and pay off our student loans by the same time. Life is gay. Life is good.

ME – 
 39. Hair color: Dirty blond
 40. Long or short hair? It’s short
 41. Do you have a crush on someone? Not right now
 42. What do you like about yourself? My mind (mostly). My body? Not so much
 43. Piercings? Nah I’m good
 44. Blood type: ???????????? Bitch I don’t know
 45. Nickname: One friend called me Nowickipedia and it kind of caught on
 46. Relationship status: www.pringles.com
 47. Zodiac sign: Leo
 48. Pronouns: Honestly I don’t care. He/him is what I’ve used most of my life (thanks, assigned gender! 🙃) but she/her is fine and they/them is ok too.
 49. Favorite TV show(s): STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS & STAR WARS: REBELS (God I’m such a nerd)
 50. Tattoos: No
 51. Right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? Right handed, but I text and use my phone with my left hand and all my other right handed family members think I’m crazy.

FIRST – 
 52. Surgery: None
 53. Piercing: None
 54. Sport: Flag football fourth grade (see 35, subject: masculinity and a desire to “fit in”)
 55. Vacation: Disneyland
 56. Pair of trainers: What is this asking? First pair of physical trainers to help me pump iron??? (Actually it’s probably shoes but who calls shoes trainers??)

CURRENT – 
 57. Eating: Nothing
 58. Drinking: Nothing
 59. I’m about to: ????? No plans just sit at home all day
 60. Listening to: The AC

FUTURE – 
 61. Waiting for: A horribly sappy romantic subplot to happen sometime in the next ten years
 62. Want: To see my friends
 63. Married: Hopefully
 64. Career: Paleontologist? Astrobiologist? Poet? So many options I need to decide.

YOUR TYPE – 
 65. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, but only because I’ve never kissed anyone
 66. Lips or eyes? Eyes 100000% I wrote a song and like thirty poems about them so….
 67. Shorter or taller? Taller probably because I went out in public and everyone was shorter than me and I got a bunch of dysphoria surrounding that so yeah (but honestly it doesn’t matter)
 68. Older or younger? I don’t care
 69. Nice arms or nice stomach? Both. A nice stomach to use as a pillow and nice arms that can hold me tight.
 70. Sensitive or loud? Idk
 71. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship. No sex-repulsed hopeless romantic like me is settling for one night of doing it dirty.
 72. Troublemaker or hesitant? Idk 73. Kissed a stranger? No way
 74. Drank hard liquor? Nope nope nope alcohol is disgusting
 75. Lost contact lenses/glasses? No
 76. Turned someone down? Once when I was still in the closet and I found out a guy had a crush on me but my homophobic brother knew he had a crush and told me so when the boy finally got enough guts to ask me to homecoming I went into panic mode and said no (sorry!) 77. Sex on first date? Nooooooooooo way. Sex would have to be like seven months in when we’ve gotten used to chillin with each other and got past at least twelve dates.
 78. Broken someone’s heart? Maybe. (See 76)
 79. Had your heart broken? Oh boy yeah when I had my first crush on a boy (the crushes on girls before don’t count they were influenced by Toxic masculinity) I ended up telling him and I was Devastated™ but is that heartbreak if it’s a crush? Idk.
 80. Been arrested? Nope
 81. Cried when someone died? See Padme Amidala’s funeral, Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005).
 82. Fallen for a friend? The only way I’ve ever crushed on someone

DO YOU BELIEVE IN – 
 83. Yourself? For like a few days at a time
 84. Miracles? Ehh sort of
 85. Love at first sight? Yes
 86. Santa Claus? No
 87. Kiss on first date? Wait until the fourth
 88. Angels? @ my friends (mutuals = friends)

OTHER – 
 89. Current best friend’s name: I refuse to put just one!
 90. Eye color: Blue
 91. Favorite movie: Jurassic Park, Star Wars: the Complete Saga, Interstellar, Arrival, Mulan

I tag @vanillabeanniall @uswntinharmony @knightcrawlers @rogueleadxr @apple-bottom-dean @solitudeontatooine and any other mutuals I have who want to do this

[spnife]

91 question tag

Tagged by @vanillabeanniall​ and then @uswntinharmony​

More below the cut bc that’s how I roll

the last – 

1. drink: Arizona Tea

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my mom - she sent me two climbing videos. Or I sent them to me, from her phone

4. song i listened to: What a feeling, but I was asleep (i checked the music app just now), so the last song I remember hearing is Ray of Light by Madonna

5. time you cried: wednesday. First day of school was today so it was some stress

have you ever – 6. dated someone twice: yeah

7. been cheated on: yeah. I became friends with the guy though. Similar tastes I guess???  (( Actually I blocked him on snapchat last year bc he was talking some bs on his story but in eigth grade he wasn’t awful))  She lied abt it though and then talked to me two years later and still lied like okay

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no ragrets

9. lost someone special: not really

10. been depressed: fuck hell yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no. I had like a sip of beer on a trip but it was just to mess with a dude while he was in the porta potty

list 3 favorite colors – 12. light blue

13. orangish pink

14. dark purple

in the last year have you – 15. made new friends: heck yeah. I switched schools and found a really good group of people there already. It’s been alright

16. fallen out of love: not in the last year. gotta be in love first

17. laughed until you cried: probably but I don’t remember rn

18. found out someone was talking about you: I think? I found out parents were saying nice things about me. Mean wise maybe? I’m not really sure. Probably

19. met someone who changed you: at least one. a teacher last year

20. found out who your true friends were: i think? 

more –  21. kissed someone on your facebook? alas, i do not have a facebook

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? see 21

23. do you have any pets? A super sweet black lab named FeeBee, a kitten named Mulder and a cat named Milo, and a hedgehog named Wembly

24. do you want to change your name? i like my name. My last name bothers me sometimes bc dad stuff but it’s gotten better

25. what did you do on your last birthday? I had a chill day at school, got a nice car, got a card from all of the kids on the climbing team. One of them said “Wow Coach Ella, you only have two more years til you can drink,” like i’m sorry kid I’m only 16

26. what time did you wake up? 7. first day of school

27. what were you doing at midnight? crying and putting school stuff in my backpack and watching VEEP

28. name something you can’t wait for: to keep getting better at climbing, the Harry Styles concert on oct 11, my birthday on oct 13 bc it should be fun and I hope I’ll get another card from the climbing team bc they’re all lovely

29. when was the last time you saw your mother? today

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? i want to know that I’ll be able to be happy

31. what are you listening to right now? watching Raising Hope

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yep

33. something that is getting on your nerves? I keep getting anxiety while I’m at climbing practice and that’s one of my most comfortable places. it feels like im going downhill with climbing even though I know im getting better

34. most visited site: netflix

school –  35. elementary: i loved my elementary school. every teacher i had was amazing, small school in austin and a good community and i still talk to my friends from there. so when i moved to the new school in fifth grade and depression was already showing up, the differences made it literally hell. it was awful. i didnt like my teachers and i didnt know people

36. middle: 6th grade was hell, 7th grade was even fuckin worse, 8th was still pretty bad. All the worst years of my life so far, and tbh it’s gonna be hard to top them

37. high: better than middle school but thats a really fucking low bar. like incredibly low.

38. college: planning for ACC for two years to get base courses, dream school UT in an engineering major. I love the school and the program there, but I worry if I could barely get through middle school, how tf am I supposed to survive college. Also it didn’t feel great when I was talking to a friend and I was like “yeah ut is tbh my dream school, if I can get in” and she was like “oh that’s one my last choice colleges” like fucking okay love you thanks for telling me that makes me feel real good about my intelligence and how you view me

me –  39. hair color: brown

40. long or short hair? shoulder length

41. do you have a crush on someone? yep. according to a friend i am “so gone for this girl” but um. oka y what if she doesn’t like me? I feel good around her though and she likes being around me and we work well together I think. She’s lovely and I wouldn’t want to make things weird by asking her out if I don’t know she feels that way too.

42. what do you like about yourself? I am able to figure things out and I work with kids really well. I’ve also been getting better at climbing again so I’m proud of myself for that

43. piercings? just my ears

44. blood type: lol yeah like i know?

45. nickname: ellallalala is something I’m getting from people at the new school, and I’ve had some climbing nicknames over the years but Coachella is sticking. I coach and my name is Ella it’s great

46. relationship status: nope

47. zodiac sign: libra

48. pronouns: she/her

49. favorite tv show(s): always sunny, parks and rec, my name is earl, curious george

50. tattoos: soon

51. right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? right

first –  52. surgery: i had one on my pelvis in 2013? i was in preschool and it was for this weird group of veins on the side of my leg. We’d always called it a birthmark and after the surgery the scar looked like a sunset over water but the sun is purple (still looks like that it’s rad) and the first time someone showed me a birthmark i was like??? Um no thats just a little dark bit of skin?? my birthmark is purple what is this shit

53. piercing: ears

54. sport: rock climbing. found it early and still love it

55. vacation: no idea

56. pair of trainers: first i remember are a PAIR OF DORA LIGHT UP SHOES

current –  57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: arizona tea

59. i’m about to: finish my arizona tea

60. listening to: the episode ended so me typing and the clock my great grandmother gave is

future –  61. waiting for: me to feel alright

62. want: to like what i’m doing and to know i’m able to be happy doing it. I wish I could just skip to being married with kids and a dog and everything.

63. married: oh for sure

64. career: astronaut has always been my dream career but with this level of anxiety it’s probably a no go. I am not over it. I’m def gonna cry abt it in a couple of minutes bc thats how it goes, ya know. The last astronaut I talked to though said “the biggest disqualifier is not applying” so i’m still going to try my hardest. I also love engineering and physics and space and science and education and would love to be a librarian, so we’ll see

your type – 
 65. hugs or kisses? depends

66. lips or eyes? eyes, i guess. There’s more character there

67. shorter or taller? in my head i’m always like oh taller but really it doesn’t matter. as long as i can be little spoon im good to go

68. older or younger? doesn’t matter

69. nice arms or nice stomach? tummies are cute i guess. 

70. sensitive or loud? i don’t know

71. hook-up or relationship? right now relationship and at some point relationship but ask me a couple months ago and it would have been different

72. troublemaker or hesitant? both. troublemaker with a lot of decisions but in fun ways, but hesitant when it comes to talking to new people that i want to be good friends with. and asking people out

73. kissed a stranger? yep. on a bet

74. drank hard liquor? had some jack daniels mixed with coffee and it tasted like cinnamon toast crunch

75. lost contact lenses/glasses? my glasses always turn up

76. turned someone down? yeah. accidentally on a few though lol. As i had a crush on someone i went out with for a little while last yeah legit three other people liked me and i guess im oblivious bc i had no fucking idea

77. sex on first date? depends

78. broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so

79. had your heart broken? yes but in a friendship way along with the relationship. it goes back to the you should kill yourself stuff

80. been arrested? nope

81. cried when someone died? no one i’ve known closely has died. My great-great grandmother died when i was fiveish but she was really old. There have been a few suicides at my old school (i switched 2 months before end of last year) and those hit hard, just knowing that there are so many people here dealing with that stuff and me relating to it. I didn’t know the people well but we’d spoken and I knew them some, but I had some friends who were much closer and really affected

82. fallen for a friend? yeah

do you believe in –  83. yourself? i try

84. miracles? shit happens, and sometimes it’s good

85. love at first sight? who am i to say tbh

86. santa claus? no

87. kiss on first date? if i like them

88. angels? no

other –  89. current best friend’s name: skip

90. eye color: hazel

91. favorite movie: i dont know im tired and want to cry sort of so maybe i shouldnt think about this stuff as much when im already stressed im going to go drink more tea and eat some soup

Anway

I’m tagging anyone who reads this far. gotcha

[cowardlytrait]

☀ 100 questions no one really asks ☀

i was tagged by @batsysims , thank you ! 😊

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

i sleep with it closed !! it’s mainly so one of my younger sisters doesn’t go in there tbh 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i’ve never actually stayed at a hotel so no djghdfgbd

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out?? whenever i do sleep with a sheet on my bed, because i tend to not remake my bed so i generally sleep without a sheet for a while which i know isnt good for you so im trying to break that :/ 

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? i considered it once, bc i was walking to my friends place on new years eve and i saw a street sign that fell in a storm , and i almost took it.. except i still had 10 more mins until i got to her house , and i didnt want to have the possibility of getting caught . also ?? idk how  i wouldve brought it home on the bus 

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?  y e! but i dont use them enough ngl 

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? nah, but my mom does that v often . and i often have a bunch of coupon reciepts / punch cards from different places that i always forget about 

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? i have a few !! primarily on my arms and legs, and a few on my face,, i never really had many until last year 

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? yes?? im p bad at smiling for photos tho ngl 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when someone asks me to do something, and then i say sure.. and then they repeat it like 2 mins later and im like.. fa m, now i dont wanna 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? sometimes ! a lot of the time i end up focusing on not stepping on cracks tho?? idk it’s a weird habit i started sometime last year that im trying not to do 

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? nah

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? nah 

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? sometimes yeah ! i tend to if im dancing with one of my siblings tho , like just grabbing their hands and making them dance with me 

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yupyupyupyup :/

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? 0 x 0 = 0 

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? a single? i dk it’s small and sucks ng l 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? u  h h h  h h h  , probably are we there yet?  - ingrid michaelson 

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yupyup! ! ! 

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yup ! voltron is actually currently one of my favorite shows , but i also watch su and several other cartoons ! i also watch anime when i feel like it but not as often as i used to 

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? minions 

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? idek ?? defos not anywhere in this town that’s fo sure 

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? depends ! sometimes water, sometimes milk, sometimes juice. but generally i try to avoid drinking anything while eating and have a drink afterwards

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? i usually dont dip them in anything , but depending on my mood: mayo or ketchup 

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza ! 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? u h h , titan ae , the fifth element, any barbie movies and more tbh 

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? i cant remember? i probably kissed my brother on the forehead but idk 

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? i wrote a letter in my friends’ birthday cards. 

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nope : /

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? djhsd i dont even have my G2 yet and cant even drive so o o 

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? nope 

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meat, pickles, and cheese 

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? toast + chocolate milk 

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 11 or 12 (altho my sleeping schedule has been fucked for the past week) 

37. ARE YOU LAZY? lmao yeah 

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was once a goth fairy, a dead nerd and a lady bug ! those are the ones i remember off the top of my head fgjfdgd 

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? tiger ! 

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? i can only speak english, but i have a vague understanding of french 

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? wtf are lincoln logs  update: i’ve never played with lincoln logs in my life so legos 

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? very

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? ?? idk 

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? when i was younger and my mom would ,yup 

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? very ! 

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yup ! often when me and 3 of my friends hand out we will drive around and listen to musicals + other music ! 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? if im listening to music yuppers ! 

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? same as 47 ^ 

50. EVER USED A GUN? nope

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? last se

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? sometimes, but i still really enjoy them so !! 

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? oh boi yeah, esp because of all the kids in my house + my mom’s family, and this year i’ll be dog sitting around that time so this year is gonna be f u n 

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? not authentic ones, but yeah ! altho im allergic to potatoes so i dont eat them v much at all anymore 

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i dont like pie actually :/

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? i always wanted to be a teacher ! since like grade 3, but now i want to be a graphic designer , but tbh being a history teacher would be fun as well ! 

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah i do 

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time 

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? nah :/  i probs should lmao 

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nope 

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? nah 

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? justin bieber in grade 8 i think ?? 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart bc there’s no more targets in canada.. otherwise, target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? niether 

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos... idk what fritos are lmao 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? neither tbh 

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no 

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? i wanted to but never did “/

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? idk ?? 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? i dont think so ? 

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? i think i was in one once?? but i dont remember it ?? did i win who knows

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? oh yeah boi 

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nope,  but my dad owns a lot !  

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? my dad does ! 

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah, but my mom does ! 

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i think so? ? 

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? real friends, hanson, set it off and more tbh 

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? same as 63

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! !

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies !! 

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? nah lmao im shit 

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yup

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends ! im p patient with kids, but have no patience when it comes to being late or waiting on someone. 

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band probs

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? i once won a 4ft cat in the hat from my local short stop when i was 4 

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah  89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? neither 

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i learned how to crochet once?? but i forgot it so neither lmao 

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? livingroom or bedroom 

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? sort off? ?

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? no

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? uh  h h  m  , currently crushing on someone actually lmao 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? no?? 

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope 

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? yup ! ! 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? pink !! ! ! ! !  !

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? sort off?? i miss my old best friend and i feel sort of disconnected rn with everyone

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? uhhh , idk who’s done this so i guess @geekmoodlet @maimouth @applezingsims @simprising @shook-sims if you’ve already done it then just ignore this ! ! ! 😝

[crystallinetides]

So I was tagged by @just-plain-aiden to do a tag thingy!!! I don't really care about the rules but I love these things so I'mma do it anyway

LAST:

[1] drink: water, bc I'm basic like that

2] phone call: like, one I answered? shit man, idk. The most recent call to my phone was for a bill tho

[3] text message: My Tumblr auth code

[4] song you listened to: "Tous les Memes" by Stromae (the last English song I listened to was "Guillotine"...)

[5] time you cried: not recently enough my friend

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: yes, bad idea, 0/10 would not recommend

[7] been cheated on: .... no?

[8] kissed someone and regretted it:  yeah x.x

[9] lost someone special: yeah, my grandmother

[10] been depressed: it's p much a constant thing now???

11] gotten drunk and thrown up: it is not fun

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] blue!!!!!!

[13] purple

[14] mint! (that weird green/blue bullshit color)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends:  oui

[16] fallen out of love: DAMN RIGHT, FUCKIN FREEEEEEE

[17] laughed until you cried: yes. actually I think that has happened more recently than actual crying

[18] found out someone was talking about you: idk???

[19] met someone who changed you: I don't think so?

20] found out who your true friends are: already knew, bruh

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes, actually

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like... all of them? I think that maybe 2% of my friends I don't actually know

[23] do you have any pets: three dogs, Charlie, Taz, and Flea Biscuit; three cats, Ivory, Tubbs, and Spooky

[24] do you want to change your name: nah. I use Crys online, that's good enough for me. although I went through a phase where I REALLY wanted to change my last name bc it's gross 

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: GOT TURNT and by turnt I mean I had a single drink at dinner and that's about it OH I WENT ICE SKATING

[26] what time did you wake up: WHOO BOY I have not slept since I woke up at 7AM Friday morning (it is currently 12:29AM Sunday...)

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was at work!

[28] name something you cannot wait for: part of me wants to say the Sweet Embrace of Death but I'm really just ready to go to medical school like fuck this

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Thursday??? I think???

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my propensity for procrastination

[31] what are you listening to right now: the various beeps of a hospital (Guillotine is stuck in my head on repeat)

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... I don't think I have

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my roots showing through the hair dye

[34] most visited website: this hellhole of a website (I use Instagram a lot more now???)

[35] elementary: I am unsure of the question??? Did I go to elementary school, is that the question? I assume so. Yes, I did. I loved it.

[36] high school: literally fuck high school

[37] college: GRADUATING THIS YEAR BRUH

[38] hair color: dark brown with red, but right now it's bright ass pink

[39] long or short hair: I got short hair bruh, easier to deal with

[40] do you have a crush on someone: nah, relationships scare me rn

[41] what do you like about yourself?: my eye color??? my ear for tone???

[42] piercings: I have two holes in each ear lobe and one in my cartilage

[43] blood type: A positive!

[44] nickname: Crys on here, but irl it's Brie like the goddamn cheese

[45] relationship status: single Pringle

[46] zodiac sign: Aquarius~

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: this is not a fair question bc it changes; I am currently in Voltron hell, but FMA: B will always be my Number One anime

[49] tattoos: lmao I have five; one that is half of the phrase "Together forever, never apart; maybe in distance, but never in heart" (my sister has the first half, I have the second); the second is a watercolor style pink ribbon; the third is a Celtic knot for sisterhood; the fourth is a tree of life with a DNA trunk and birds in it; the fifth is a line from "Iridescent" by Linkin Park. I also have a teeny star on the inside of my wrist

oh lol and I have a plan to get two more in April at least

[50] right or left handed: right handed, but I play saxophone and am learning to play guitar and that's basically like being ambidextrous right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: wisdom teeth removal!

[52] piercing: my ears when I was like 7

[53] best friend : a girl in 1st grade that I don't talk to anymore

[54] sport: marching band bro. fight me

[55] vacation: Florida for family visits; my first out of country visit was Mexico

[56] pair of trainers: ... like, sneakers? shit man idk that was so long ago

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing, unfortunately. might heat up some pizza.

[58] drinking: water

[59] i’m about to: actually focus on my job 

60] listening to: nothing

[61] waiting for: a chance to sleep properly, I am so tired 

[62] want: sleep for a week and binge watch anime

[63] get married: I am nowhere near ready for that. maybe???

64] career: Im gonna be some sort of surgeon. thinking orthopedic.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs. give me all the cuddles.

[66] lips or eyes: eyes.

[67] shorter or taller: I prefer taller

[68] older or younger: I don't really care???

[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic. I need structure in my life

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms, I think.

[71] sensitive or loud: ???? I have no clue

[72] hook up or relationship: at this point, neither. but if I had to choose, hookup. relationships are scary

73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. think that shit through

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? nah

[75] drank hard liquor? lmao its pretty much all I drink

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? so many contacts have been lost to the Void

[77] turned someone down: yup

[78] sex on first date? definitely not for me

[79] broken someone’s heart? depends on who you ask

[80] had your own heart broken? yeah, wont make that mistake again

81] been arrested? no but I have had a parking ticket, I'm so awful I know

[82] cried when someone died? yup

[83] fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? I WILL BECOME HOKAGE (genuinely idk)

[85] miracles? okay the fact that we exist at all and can mount an immune response to literally any organic molecule is a miracle and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

[86] love at first sight? nah

[87] santa claus? hes clearly real 

[88] kiss on the first date? if you like em, why not???

[89] angels? .... meeehhh TECHNICALLY yes bc im hard polytheist....

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Mikaela and Erin <3

[91] eye colour: grey!!! fuck u theyre not blue or green

[92] favourite movie: Spirited Away probably

wow this took longer than expected

anyway now you know how lame I am even tho only ONE of you asked <3

if you do this, send me a link bc I'm nosy

[thepurpletapemix]

Rap Beef: Joyner Lucas Vs. Tory Lanes

Tory fires first over the Lucky You beat Joyner rapped on with Eminem

I got a million flows, I can go silly with those I got a pocket rocket Down to cock and chop and pop a nigga that really impose Niggas that’s wit me is villans in hoodies That lost all they good and they feelings on road It’s so appealing, the feeling of killing a nigga that pose Get Milli Vanillied with those Turn a beef plate to a cheesesteak Bitch, I be really in Philly with those Neck rocky as a blizzard, a nigga flex gotten bigger My wrist is so chilly, it froze Really I’m colder than ever, my niggas goin' for whatever Niggas gripped up, fifth tucked in the snow storm or the weather Sandstorm or the desert, hands drawn on a Dessy Leave his whole body bloody Like shorty done put in her tampon on already Shooting with a Vietnam cannon out the Peter arm on the levy See, the charm on already We go to jail, this shit'll be fine, we’ll meet up with friends 'Cause all of our mans gone-gone already Nigga the-, nigga the- I'ma do a three in week, I gave the Jeep the receipt Either the double-R stitching, it’s that or the Bentley B in the seat I got my D in a freak, I gotta be in repeat She wanna eat every morning I treat it like porridge and gave her the cream of the wheat And I rock it like P and a B I don’t cop it less it’s Louie, Gucci on the pocket Or even a D and a G, 'cause the way that the money piling I'll be wildin' 'til a nigga make about a B in a week Fuck niggas hating on me But I’m Gary Payton, always on the team with the green And the money counter, 'cause when I’m accounting It be money coming in and coming out it, paper cut the money Dummy niggas, I been thumbing out it Trying not to run up out it in a fist fight With a knife, nigga brought a gun up out it Don’t you run up out it, lil nigga Uh, hit him with a mini MAC Is he really that bad that I gotta hit him with a bigger gat? Matter fact, riddle me that I’m literally at the spot that he said he’d be at, but where is he at? Like, really nigga? Is you really tellin' me that? Like I ain’t prepared to hit him with a felony act? Like, what you thought, I would never react? Have a nigga lookin' like he tryna fight in Smash Bros When a nigga put a whole shell in his back Fuck niggas yelling it back Niggas get high and start hating on a real nigga It’s like a nigga smokin' on a jealousy pack Look, lil nigga, uh I got the remedy, I got the shooters with hidden identities Fuck who you send at me I got a stack on me long as a ruler and centipede I got that Geneve, I got the energy I got the money, the power, the enemies I go to business I’m asking these niggas for 60 percent of the entity No one defending me Niggas is talking, but no one offending me Niggas know what the result of the end'll be Niggas won’t know how to find where they men'll be I'm a way different nigga on Hennessy I got the recipe, none of y’all niggas sit next to me Guard where your head and ya chest'll be I suggest you niggas never go testin' me I suggest you niggas never go testin' me, nigga

I promise y'all niggas I do this shit in my sleep, it's easy I come to the studio and just say shit and it comes out that way You know what I mean? I promise y'all we down to go 36 hundred thousand rounds with anybody Let these niggas know that all that rapping fast shit We can do it too, nigga Niggas be thinking they got that special sauce Not today, nigga Ain't that right, man? Y'all know what the fuck goin' on, man Who next? Who next? Who next? For real, who next? Lemme know, lemme know, I'm off this, I'm off this Love me now

Joyner uses Meek Mill’ “Litty” beat to respond

You just gonna do what you supposed to ('Posed to) I remember when them hoes called me old news Now when they cheat, I'm the go-to (Joyner) Word on the street's I ain't one to get close to I was hopeless, now I'm hopeful (Yuh) I done made my own way like I'm supposed to All you niggas did what you was told to (Yeah) Tory, why all your songs always sound like a rerun, nigga? (Huh) I just want my motherfucking refund, nigga (Huh) Funny looking ass, go and eat some', nigga I ain't never had to get my fucking teeth done, nigga (Hahaha) When I kill you, I ain't running to you, bleed some, nigga (Yuh) Oh, you wan' be some nigga? (Yuh) Me and 6ix9ine had Trippie Redd bitch on the couch She was giving us a threesome, nigga

Why you bring my name up in the first place, Tory? (Yeah) You ain't fucking with me on my worst day, Tory (Uh) Wasn't better than me when I was in first grade, Tory We can do this every year on your birthday, Tory (Brrrat) Every summer, every winter, every Earth day, Tory Every Tuesday, every Thursday, Tory It's gon' be a motherfucking anniversary, Tory You done fucked up, now you need first aid, Tory

Shit Damn So now that we got that out the way, hmph Let's make a record, nigga Hahahahaha Joyner

Tory responds with a scorcher over the same Litty beat so that both had the exact same amount of time for their verses

And it goes on Kill a pussy nigga with his pantyhose on The gun is equipped for what ever hand it goes on To kill a backpack nigga with his Jansport on Geek ass nigga Dweeb ass nigga Never had a G-pass nigga 'Bout to ski mask his ass and eat fast nigga Pull the heat fast and blast And leave that nigga With his seat back nigga I'm a number one nigga in no time I been waiting for a nigga to give me the showtime In the jungle waiting for you to slip on the oak vine I'ma do this nigga like I was chewing a pork rind nigga Eminem couldn't get ya to a million on the 'Gram Chris Brown tried, nigga failed both times I done took ya page to a million in a day If you ask me, nigga, I'm ya motherfucking cosign I'ma hit the pussy ass nigga with a clothesline I'ma have to catch a nigga slipping in my own time I just took the flame on a private ass plane Out to Massachusetts, catch this nigga slipping in his hometown Ya see what go around come around and go around So I got his hoe going round like it go around Let these niggas know I'm not the one to toe-to-toe around Singing ass nigga not the one to leave your hoe around I'm about to hit him with the end of the K Word to my niggas in Heaven I'm 'bout to send em away I'm exhausted I kill this nigga two times 24 hours man this shit been a repetitive day Nigga tell me is it Joyner Lucas, Lucas Joyner? I'm the nigga who destroy ya Coupe deploy ya, label drop ya, who's the lawyer? Buy ya contract from them back and be who employ ya Oops, I'm going, who's condoning? Juice and jonesing Met ya bitch she too conjointed Tryna ask this pussy ass nigga who the fuck want smoke But the lightskin niggas in ya crew too spooked to join in I'm a nasty nigga, then you could ask these nigga The shotty dumping popping up outta the backseat, nigga I'm 'bout to leave his body bloody like a maxi, nigga I tax these niggas, get at these niggas, attack these niggas The venom is arachne, nigga I'm 'bout kill da man and da man that done backed these niggas And blam any man that'll try to dap you niggas And clap any stan fan that attract you niggas See ya daddy was a musician that never made it 'Cause when you was born nigga it was you or him Shattered knowing he would never make it as an artist And the odds of his life prolly be 2 to 1 But I give it to him 'cause he didn't run I guess he figured, "man when you look at it in a nutshell All I got is a failed music career and My revenge is giving that shit to my son" Nigga I'ma flossy nigga They try to toss me nigga The 45th I get em off me nigga I block niggas Chris Bosh these niggas I got figures pish posh to niggas I dump niggas, jump, criss cross these niggas The pump leave 'em slumped, in the car seat nigga The skunk in the trunk was an awkward nigga That thought he didn't need to have caution with him A cornball with a Boston fitted I said hold up my nigga man this shit crazy You fucked AYLEK$ man that shit crazy Nigga said he out here running threesomes with the Nigga that's in court dealing with the kid cases I'ma hit a stain then I hit a bad one Pull up on the nigga hold em up for ransom I got five plaques this year, you did a whole song with Eminem and still don't even have one nigga Damn, my lil homie that’s a bad one nigga Really feel bad for you it's a sad one nigga Hold your head steady maybe you could have one nigga Hit me for a hook and maybe get a plaque young nigga Shout go out to Wayno and Ak my nigga Tomorrow they'll be talking 'bout you got smacked young nigga From the pack my nigga I'm keeping this shit a stack, my nigga That "Litty" verse was wack, my nigga They go hard my dawg, but I go harder nigga Atcha head with the fade like a barber nigga Try to come for the boat and I'ma harbor niggas Be smart like a Harvard nigga don't start with niggas And he got a problem with us But nigga, I know how to solve it nigga This is my son I'ma tell 'em like Star Wars, "Lucas, I am your father" nigga You a perpetrating, work for hire, twerk for payment Busta Rhyme impersonating, worthless baby, irks him daily Hurts to say it, burger flipping, birthed in 80s Tryna be a 90s baby, thirty something tryna chase it Tryna make it, rocks designer, kinda fakes it Hates to face it That he'll never be a nigga that be placed for A-list, niggas damn Here's what he's thinking right now "I'm Joyner Lucas, why did I start it with this guy? Tory Lanez coming back what am I gonna do this time? They ain't like none of my diss lines Everybody knows I can spit it in quick time Even if the lines is as shitty as 6ix9ine's But this time they ain’t really letting me get by Fuck I'm finna do with this shit now? Damn I know this nigga finna be wild Knowin' this nigga bout to kill me on it OD now Don't nobody ever wanna book me for a show I ain't got no songs when I go I spit freestyles Try to make songs 'bout depression But nobody ever get it So I take it out on popping niggas beats now I ain't never ever trapped I ain't never slung a gat But the world don't know so fuck it, I'm a G now" Man, what the fuck wrong with him? I know something wrong with him I got a hundred bunch o' bullets 'bout to put 'em all in him Nigga walked in with a hundred rounds in him And he's seen a nigga chicken I was comin' down in it Glock nine nigga gotta run around with it I'ma son a nigga, keep it at least one-a-round with it Backpack niggas ain't sellin' no records Better dumb it down with it when you come around with it

This shit is easy man Yo it's crazy nigga I'm really-, I'm really-, I'm really being very generous, you know? Like I'm really doing you a favor, it's not a lot of niggas in my status that come down just to, you know, to come down and spank you niggas, pause man It's crazy, but you know I'ma do for you what niggas didn't do for me - that's older brother status So if you blow from this point on, I'm your cosign nigga, you know what it is Ayy Slow, that's facts right? Big facts, word to Ralph, nigga, word to big Jevante too, nigga You know what's going on nigga-, you know what the fuck's going on, nigga One Umbrella gang, nigga

Joyner finishes off the battle with Kodak Black’s ZeZe beat but doesn’t necessarily finish Tory.

Ahh, shit Joyner!

Yo, nigga's saying, "What a great battle" But you about to see a fucking snake rattle Boy, you just a pony with a pink saddle I'm truly sorry that you stuck inside of Drake's shadow When are you gon' overcome? (Huh) When are you gon' level up? When are you gon' grow another foot? (Huh) When are you gon' show us that you number one? (When) And everything that you accomplished in some years about to take me just a couple months Don't you think I'm bluffing neither I thought you were tougher, eager (Damn) How you almost signed to Justin Bieber? You look like a fuckin' beaver (Haha) Ten years in the game but yo' ass still sittin' on the fucking bleachers Boy, you just another diva (Just another diva) Heard yo' grandmama kicked you out the house screaming "Tory, we don't fucking need you" Why yo' daddy up and leave you? (Why) I guess this is how they fucking treat you And you my puppet, you my Cousin Skeeter This ain't what you wanted, they been waiting for it I'm Joyner Lucas, what the fuck you niggas take me for (What the fuck) I pull up in a Demon but I kill Satan for it If you want attention Tory you gon' have to pay me for it All these hoes love me but you sucker niggas hate me for it You roll up on me, catch a shot at ya Mercedes door The bullets fly, you recline like a La-Z-Boy All you do is cry, you a child, you my baby boy You call yourself Tory after The Notorious Big (Yeah) Biggie turning in his grave when he hear yo' shit Don't ever think that you could ever come compare yo' shit Little girls and kids only ones who feel yo' shit I skipped the plaques on my way to a Grammy All your records soft and sweet, niggas think that you candy Your niggas really convinced you that you think you can scare me And you got identity issues, niggas think you a tranny, really? (Damn) Tory tell us why you always gotta lie in your rhymes (Why) I know keeping up with lies can get tiring sometimes You not a G and deep down you wanna hide sometimes Staring at the sunshine and start crying sometimes Your real name is Daystar, you been dying to shine And when you sing you kinda sound like you dying sometimes You make the type of tracks that had me feelin' silent inside Nobody take you serious, put all the violence aside Okay, let's talk about your plagiarism that you hate to mention (Yeah) Or talk about the hate you giving to the greats you dissing (Let's talk about it) And that writer who wrote yo' shit still ain't get paid on that "Don't Die" record You should probably go pay the nigga (Yeah, man) And how the fuck you talk about Kendrick when he a legend (Huh) Then go bite the nigga style on your record right at the ending On 4AM Flex 2 minutes and 50 seconds Sound exactly like the Art of Peer Pressure, go take a listen You inspired by the niggas you name dropped Catch fire in the rain, no umbrella to shelter you and no rain drops When I seen you on Flex, I gave props But then we found out you stole Don Q shit from the train stop You thought you were fly 'til the plane drop Ugly motherfucker tryna stunt in a tank top It's no wonder why they used to feed yo' ass with a slingshot You my son, this the last time I'll give you a Ring Pop Sit down, you on punishment And don't get up until you see me And don't even think about touching that TV No more video games, no more phone, no more 3D No more radio or boombox for your weak ass CD Matter of fact, give me your chains back and everything I bought you You a disgrace to this family and everything I taught you I hate to say it son but you make me sick I should'a knew you weren't shit when you came out with a baby dick It's no wonder why you pay for pussy Tory you think you slick All you do is lounge around the house all day like a lazy prick Shit, highly disappointed in you son, I need some answers How come you couldn't follow in my steps and be a dancer? Or maybe write a book like me or be somebody's grandpa Instead you wanna be a fucking rapper with some hair plugs No more rapping, give me your pen and paper No more lying to the people on how you the biggest gangster Now hurry up and get your juicy out the refrigerator You going to bed at eight o'clock and not a minute later No, I don't wanna hear it No, let this be a lesson Close your mouth and go into your room like I suggested I'm a get real Joe Jackson in a second Matter of fact, give me your toys, I'm adding that to the collection I just did a show and got it lit ya little nigga And my freestyles killing your originals nigga Couldn't name a bitch I couldn't get ya little nigga You a rebound, even Scottie Pippen know nigga You ain't from Toronto, put that on the Bible I put six hollows in your Ferragamo Nigga, you from Brampton, go spin the bottle Bitch I'm from New England, me and Brady in the El Dorado Now come get on my level, I'm hard as metal I bomb the ghetto, I brought the shovel I bury all of you little ninja turtles You Donatello, you soft as jello You must be gone off that Amaretto It's hard to tell 'cause you soft as pillows You fucking midget, I call you Willow I throw you out a fucking car window I step all over your Margielas, you caught feelings Yo' heart spinning, my bars illing I'm Bob Dylan, I'm John Lennon, I'm authentic Your bars running no off limits Don't talk business, don't talk, listen I'm off this so you fuck this you fuck! Nigga

What, nigga Fuck out my face nigga Ayy nigga look We gonna get one in, pause Let's not, let's not do this back and forth shit no more I, I think we know what's up, you know Ha ha ha, Joyner

[hotspotsmagazine]

It’s Not Over Till It’s Over: Sean Hayes Talks ‘Will & Grace’

Where would our queer world be without Will & Grace?

That’s where my head was just before Sean Hayes phoned, recalling my lonely teen years, when gay white men on TV alone — here’s to evolved representation! — was unprecedented and life-changing for people like 15-year-old, closeted me.

It’s not enough, then, to say Hayes, 48, portrays Jack McFarland on the NBC sitcom, because some roles become legend, upstaging even the actor giving him life. Jack is one such character.

And so, a call from Hayes is like being a kid and spotting your fifth-grade teacher at the grocery store: It doesn’t quite feel real. And yet Hayes is a real man with a real life and even a real husband, music producer Scott Icenogle. But to the late-’90s TV landscape, it was the actor’s half-fiction as Jack and his exploding-rainbow persona that cut through heteronormative programming with gay jokes even your grandma could get down with.

And then, there’s Karen.

You obviously don’t need me to needlessly ramble on about Jack’s socialite best friend (played by Megan Mullally), who never met a martini she didn’t like. You know her, you love her. And together they truly make all of our friends out to be absolute fucking bores. The sitcom’s recent revival reinstated #friendshipgoals when the snarky pals, along with titular housemates Will (Eric McCormack) and Grace (Debra Messing), came swishing back to NBC in September 2017 for a ninth season after ending its initial 1998–2006 run.

Hayes isn’t Jack, exactly. But you might be fooled if he called you, too. His usually-unflashy voice sometimes picks up wind and takes on the kind of rapid-fire cadence his famous Cher-worshiping alter ego is known for. With Season 10 premiering October 4 and Season 9 now available on DVD and digital, I caught up with Hayes to talk about those who’ve long criticized Jack for being “stereotypically” gay, the history of the legendary Karen-Jack slap fights, and who helped him be OK with being gay.

It’s hard to put into words exactly what it feels like to talk to the man who gave me such an iconic gay character when I needed it most.

Oh my god. That’s so sweet. I really appreciate that. And you just answered the reason why when people ask me what’s the best part about playing it — that’s the best part.

Is it?

One-hundred percent.

When did you first realize Will & Grace had impacted the LGBTQ community the way it has?

Just a couple of weeks ago! [Laughs.] No, I’m joking. You know what’s so funny — first of all, you have no idea how much that means to me, you saying how much I mean to you. It means equally as much to me, so thank you.

So when did I know I had an impact? I think when I was young and doing the show I was so wrapped up in myself, in acting, in getting the part: “Am I going to get fired? Am I gonna learn my lines?” I was just happy to have a job.

It’s such a fascinating thing to discuss, and I’m so glad you asked. I felt normal growing up, so when I got a job, playing a gay character on a television sitcom I just thought, “Oh, I just have to be me, kind of, a heightened version of myself.” I didn’t think it would have that much of an impact because of the bubble I grew up in. I surround myself with people who are accepting of me, so naively I was like, “The rest of the world must be OK with it.”

I mean, I knew the stories [about homophobia] out there. I grew up and knew [being gay] wasn’t accepted, but I just didn’t think on any big level it was any big deal. So, that gave me the confidence to play Jack as outrageously as I could because, again, I’m surrounded by writers and actors — everybody else — who embrace this, so I felt loved, I felt supported and I felt confidence. So, I wasn’t heading to work thinking about how this is going to affect anybody.

[That] was a wonderful byproduct later, and I was like, “Oh, ohh!” And once it started, and all the press and blah blah blah, and we never got any backlash for being political in that sense, meaning how they politicized gay people, which is wrong. That’s another interview.

WILL & GRACE — “The Wedding” Episode 110 – Pictured: (l-r) Eric McCormack as Will Truman, Debra Messing as Grace Adler, Sean Hayes as Jack McFarland — (Photo by: Chris Haston/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank)

Over the years, people have criticized Jack for being “flamboyant.” How aware were you of that concern when the show returned for its revival season?

Oh, I never heard that. This is the first time hearing it. So, you’re saying people were worried, but I was playing him — I call it “outrageous” because “flamboyant” means a certain type of gay person, I think, and that’s another conversation to have. I was playing him as outrageously as I was before. So, people were concerned that I was playing him a certain way?

People wondered if Jack was too stereotypical for TV in 2018 and expressed some concern over what the straight community might think of us.

I think that’s [internalized] homophobia. Because I know people like Jack, because one part of me is like Jack, and so if you’re saying people in the gay community were concerned that I was playing Jack a certain way and people would “worry” that gay people act like that, they do act like that. And there’s people who act like Will. There are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the gay community, just like there are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the straight community, so I nix that, and I say “bye” to that — I say, “Bye, Felicia!” — because that doesn’t make any sense to me.

Similarly, the character of Cam on Modern Family was criticized for being an over-the-top and exaggerated version of what a gay person is. And I’m like, what exactly is a gay person supposed to be in 1998 or 2018?

Yeah, exactly. What are they supposed to be? And by the way, they are exaggerated, some of them. And so are straight people. Look at Jim Carrey, look at Robin Williams. There are lots of straight people who are exaggerated as well. I hate that argument — no, I’m glad you brought it up. I’m just saying I love talking about it, because it’s ridiculous.

As a kid coming to terms with being gay, who was your person?

If you’re talking about a famous person, Andy Bell [of Erasure]. Because I was in college and I was 17, 18, and I was shocked that somebody was out and proud, making a living in the arts or in pop culture by being who they are and not apologizing for it. I thought that was mind-blowing. “A Little Respect” was the No. 1 song on the radio, and I was like, “Wait, the guy is gay, and everybody is OK with that?”

The truth is, not a lot of people knew [Bell was gay] because we didn’t have the internet. But I knew, and all my gay friends knew. And I was like, “That’s amazing.” So that was inspiring to me, that you could be gay and make a living by singing, acting, whatever.

What has it been like to be a part of a show that has existed during two very different times, culturally and politically, for the LGBTQ community?

First, I feel very fortunate and lucky to be part of the chorus of the movement. I may not be a single voice, but I’m enjoying being a part of the chorus. And I think we’re lucky to have the voice and the representation for people to talk about it again, because I don’t think it should ever stop being talked about because everything is not OK. There are still gay kids being bullied. Look at that [gay] couple [that was assaulted] in Florida in the bathroom during [Miami Beach Gay] Pride. It just doesn’t end. The hate doesn’t end overnight.

So, we have to keep doing things, and again, my contribution may not be as an activist, because I just don’t feel comfortable doing that, it’s not who I am. It’s not in my blood, it’s not in my DNA to stand at a podium and speak in sound bites about how we need to prevail over the government and the system. I leave that to people who are good at it — I’m not good at it.

What I’m good at is being comfortable in my own skin and showing people that I have a husband, and we make stupid Facebook videos and try to show people that we’re as normal as any other human. I try to do my best at that.

So, I’m happy the show is back because there’s still tons of work to do. The power of comedy is so incredible; that’s why we broke so many boundaries the first time. And hopefully we can continue to do that.

Megan Mullally has said that you’re her “second husband,” after her real husband, Nick Offerman. How does your chemistry with Megan after all these years compare to the first time that you stepped onto set and shot the pilot?

It’s so funny that she calls me her second husband because Nick and I were born on the exact same day, same year, about 30 miles apart. Isn’t that hilarious?

But it’s like working with your sister. There’s a shorthand that nobody else would understand. So, it’s like, “I’m gonna do this,” and she’s like, “I’m gonna do that,” and then we just do it together. And there it is. So, we now know how to cut through all the stuff that you need to [cut through] to get to a comedic moment in a scene. And that’s what’s great about all this time that’s passed: I understand her, she understands me, we understand each other, so the chemistry has only gotten hotter.

Tell me the history of the slap fights between Karen and Jack.

There’s an episode called “Coffee and Commitment,” where Jack is trying to get off of coffee and Karen’s trying to quit alcohol. That was the first time we slapped each other. On paper, it was just, “Karen slaps Jack, Jack slaps Karen.” But of course, [Will & Grace Director] Jimmy Burrows, who is incredible at physical comedy, said, “Let’s make a dance out of this.”

So, we rehearsed the rhythm of it. I think that’s what makes you laugh — that’s what makes me laugh: the pauses and then the slapping again and then the pause and the slap-slap. It’s music, so you have to rehearse the beats and the rhythms in order to get that. [Laughs.] It makes me laugh even thinking about it.

What do you envision for Jack’s future?

Well, I don’t want him to change too much because our friends are our friends from high school because they never change, right? Maybe get married, but still remain Jack somehow, or find a long-term relationship. Or maybe — maybe! — there’s someone close in his own life that might be a suitable partner for life. Who knows?

Will?

I have no idea.

Could you see them together?

Could I see Will and Jack together? Maybe!

You’ve said you want to see him with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Just so you know, I’m here for it.

I think that would be a hilarious episode, and I hope Dwayne comes to his senses and comes to the Will & Grace [set] to play and have a good time.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/07/12/its-not-over-till-its-over-sean-hayes-talks-will-grace/

[tessatechaitea]

Midnighter and Apollo #2

White covers like this make me realize I really need to clean the glass on my scanner. Gross.

For a nerdy Lobot motherfucker, Bendix isn't as smart as I would have thought he was programmed to be.

The gauntlet that Midnighter must run to escape from the Bendix's Samoan Bunker (that sounds like a dessert I might one day invent) consists of a swarm of eagles with lasers on their heads, a screaming holograph of Thomas Jefferson that shoots eyeball lasers, GI Robot, a hail of throwing stars and arrows, vanilla pudding dropped from the ceiling like boiling oil, and a pit full of hungry babies. Midnighter manages to get through it all in time to stop Mawzir from shooting Apollo in the head. But I still think he's too late because the cover of the third issue shows Midnighter at the gates of Hell. The Mawzir flees from Midnighter for some reason. Maybe because Midnighter reminds him too much of Tommy Monaghan. Or maybe The Mawzir is just smarter than me and knows when it's gone too far. Not that I've ever gone too far! Pshaw! Oh! I've got an aside. Don't worry, it isn't about how truly stupid Donald Trump is. It's about the other Republicans in our government! Hey, Republican voters? I'm a big time liberal pinktard (is that what you call us?) and I don't totally disagree with some of Republican policies. I mean, I disagree with all of them currently (and probably have sense they decided governing should be closely related to elementary school recess interactions without an adult supervising (as I perceive it, that was sometime in the 90s after Clinton was elected and they were all butthurt that they weren't in control of filling their pockets with corporate and lobbyist money)). What I'm suggesting, Republican voters, is fucking do something about the people you want representing you. They're all selfish assholes who only care about maintaining their position of power and easy income. They don't fucking care about anybody and Trump is the best example of these monsters you've decided are somehow representative of the white working class (they're not. I'm fucking white working class and I would never agree with anything any of these current load of smegma-smelling idiots ever). Oh, I guess this was a little bit about Trump. Shit. I just realized that off-topic paragraph was probably a waste of time. This is a comic book about two gay dudes! Why would a Republican be reading it?!

Stop fucking the bullet wound and get him to a hospital, you sicko perv!

Midnighter decides to put Apollo in a room pumping in solar energy to try to bring him back to life. I really hope that we don't have to put up with an Apollo Boy and a Cyborg Apollo and Apollo Steel followed by Red and Blue Electric Powered Apollo! I don't know if I could go through that again and I didn't even really pay attention to it the first time. When the infusion of solar radiation doesn't seem to be working, Midnighter visits some guy named Extraño to find out where Apollo's soul went. It's so fucking obvious he went to Hell. You know why I think that. You know. I mentioned earlier how I've already seen the cover to Issue #3. Midnighter discovers Apollo is in Hell being tortured by Neron. Uh oh. Apollo is in for a terrible time. Not because he's in Hell! But because shit rolls downhill and Neron has just recently been shat all over by Constantine. He's definitely looking to make somebody else's life crazy miserable. And by life, I guess I mean death? Midnighter decides he's going to go save Apollo. Do you think he already knows how this ends? I do and he'd better not fucking look back on the way out! The Ranking! +1 Ranking! Reading well-written Midnighter stories makes me happy. It's like reading Batman stories but where Batman doesn't have a huge stick up his ass. Instead he has a huge dick up his ass! Har har! That joke was entirely too immature even for this blog because I really meant the thing about Midnighter being like Batman minus the stick up his ass. Comparing it to another thing that happened to me today — finding a used sanitary napkin on top of my work clothes — I'd say this is the best comic book I've ever read in my entire life! Also enjoyable today: using the term "sanitary napkin"! Now I'm picturing a vagina dabbing daintily at its ketchup-stained lips after removing the hot dog from its orifice. At a picnic, of course!