#(usual disclaimers to write something online. i love it)

[kallypsos]

truly i feel like ai is just gonna make us stupider i was complaining about writing an email at work and i got told to just ask chatgpt to write it for me

[cherrycranes]

Dream Girl (Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader) [+18]

Pairing: Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader Summary: You're Neil's favorite (and only) camgirl and the girl of his dreams, and he finally has a video call with you. Word count: 3,307 Contents: (Minors DNI). Reader is a camgirl! Needy Neil, cam sex, mutual masturbation, praise kink, fluff! Author's notes: Once again, a collab with @fuckiingloser my beloved. Mandatory "english is not my first language" disclaimer. Underneath there's a Neil playlist I made, the pinterest moodboard to help you visualize this fic and something more! ;)

Neil anxiously stared at the computer screen waiting for it to connect. The circular motions of the loading icon toyed with his impatience. This was serious to him. After selling some old valuable tapes from Gumshoe, he had just enough to pay for a private video call with her: his favorite cam girl, his ultimate dream girl, the one he had been dedicated to watching for the last few months.

He had stumbled upon her in his usual search for porn months ago, in one desperate and lonely night. After closing and closing several porn tabs and profiles, finding absolutely nothing that scratched the right spot for him, he saw her. In all her pink, fluffy, girl-next-door-esque glory. He sat there in complete awe, watching her just smile and laugh, chatting to subscribers and also watching her touch herself… Neil loved it all. From her beautiful hair, her beautiful smile, pretty eyes and perfect body… She had taken over every single thought of his. He became completely hooked since. Generously tipping her, subscribing to her only fans and leaving sweet messages since subscribing.

He couldn’t believe it, after months, he had finally gotten the chance to have a one-on-one call with her. Half of his daydreams and fantasies were about the moment he could talk to her and not just write her his usual nice comments online. He nervously fixed his hair on the reflection of the monitor at the thought. Nothing in this world would let him miss this… Not even the cost. Selling a few of his vintage vhs tapes was not a big deal if it meant he got to see her. 

Neil was positively and undeniably obsessed… Not in the stalker way, of course… He was always respectful. He just had a crush, and a deep yearning to have the chance to take her on a date, get to know her, make her laugh at the very least… His dream girl…

Snapping him out of his thoughts, the screen finally blinked on, making him smile softly when he saw his dream girl pop on the screen.

“Hi there, Neil…” You greeted him with your sensual but sweet voice. You quite liked him as a subscriber. You had seen from his profile that he was only a few years older than you, and from his comments you always knew he was nice, but when you finally saw him appear on your screen you were pleasantly impressed. Neil was much cuter than what you expected him to be. His beautiful pale blue eyes, his soft brown curls, his sweet smile… God help you, he was dreamy…

You sat pretty on your pink fluffy duvet cover on your bed, your laptop was propped right in front of you at the perfect angle, showing your body and lovely face. Neil’s reaction to that image was just delicious, his eyes widened and you moved back a little, revealing the tiny see through pink lingerie set you wore…  At his request, of course. 

From the screen you could tell this already had an effect on him, his cock definitely hardening in his pants and his eyes raking all over you through his monitor. Despite being so used to watching you he still felt weak on the knees. 

“H-hi… you look… so beautiful ...” Neil stuttered just so cutely through his big smile, his usual sweetness shining through. Even when he commented in your livestreams or messaged you he was always a total sweetheart. Most of the other comments you received were well… Vulgar and far too descriptive. That is why Neil always stood out to you, the only one who was actually nice, the one who always tuned into your streams, even the ones where you weren’t naked. He just wanted to see you and hear you talk. 

 “Thank you… You’re too sweet..” You purred to him, smiling and turning around on your knees just to let him see the outfit from the back. Your hand slowly and very sensually ran over your body and the delicate pink lace and flower embroidery of your see-through bra and thong. He watched, completely out of breath. The shape of your ass, the way the lingerie did nothing to hide your charms. He felt himself grow harder.

“Wow…” He whispered, almost dizzy. “You’re perfect…”

Words weren’t enough. “Perfect” didn't even cover just how incredible you were to him. Neil LOVED the dainty, girly lingerie sets you always wore, your all-pink girly room, your innocent eyes, your soft voice. You were the perfect girl next door, the embodiment of all his fantasies combined and presented like a goddess in front of him… And now you were his… Even if it was just for the hour. 

Satisfied with his cute reaction, you sat back down on the bed, smiling softly for the camera.

“You’ve got all of me for an hour… Any special requests?” You asked kindly, charmingly. Neil felt his mind turn to mush for a second, just staring at you for a bit before gathering his thoughts enough to answer. 

“Could you touch yourself and moan my name…  Please?” He asked so softly, your lips curled into a smirk.

“Of course, I can do that. Fingers or a toy?” Your tone was slightly flirty but still very sweet.

“A vibrator… the one you always use…” Neil answered right away, not even thinking about it. He knew exactly what he wanted.

“As you wish..” You smiled and leaned off camera for a second to grab the toy that waited ready for you to use.

“This one?” You came back into frame and, with a cheeky smile on your face, held up the realistic pink dick shaped vibrator.

Neil’s eyes widened a bit in recognition and he nodded with a smile, his hand squeezed his hard on over his pants as he took in the sight of you on the screen. You leaned back against your pretty pink pillows and slowly spread your legs. He shifted closer towards the monitor, lured in by you and the way you gently pulled your sheer panties down your legs and tossed them aside, exposing your pretty little pussy.

It obviously wasn’t the first time he’d seen it… But it was the first time that only him got to see it. He groaned, looking at your perfectly waxed lips reverently. How he wished he could just dive into the screen and magically appear in front of you.

“How do I look?” You asked with a pretty smirk, two gentle fingers spreading your lips apart for him to drool for. His breath hitched a bit and he swallowed hard, fighting his own brain for coherent words.

“You look like a goddess…” He said, almost in awe. “Your pussy is so pretty..” 

You smiled sincerely at his compliment before a motion from your thumb turned the vibrator on. The pink toy slowly and teasingly traveled to your clit, and you moaned instantly when it touched it and made it send waves of pleasure through you. You closed your eyes and Neil kept his wide open, your lips curved into a little smirk before you fulfilled his second request:

“Neil… oh baby… feels so good..” You could have killed him with that breathy moan. He couldn’t contain a groan and his hands couldn’t stop themselves from squeezing his aching cock over his pants. 

When you opened your eyes, you looked at your screen, smiling at the sight.

“You can touch yourself if you want… I wanna see you too…” You cooed to him. 

“Really?” Neil asked, obviously very excited at the thought of both of you getting off together, even if it was through the computer. You nodded with a pretty moan, moving the vibrator against you a bit more. He breathed out, your pussy glistened more and more before his eyes, and for a moment, he savored it in his imagination. His hand took his aching hard on out of his pants and scooted his chair back so you could see all of him. 

Quickly, he spat into his hand and wrapped it around his needy cock, gently groaning at the feeling, imagining it was your pussy instead of his hand. He looked up and saw you watching him with those lovely eyes of yours, he gave himself a few slow pumps.

“Mmm, your cock is so big…” You moan softly, biting your lip as you teased yourself with the toy, enticing the gentle strokes he gave himself.

“Big enough for you?” He asked almost desperately as he jerked off. 

You smiled, gently turning the toy off and sliding it between your wet folds, just teasing yourself with it before finally pushing it in. 

“Mmm… Definitely...” You moaned back to him, and he watched in amazement. You gently pushed the tip of the toy inside you, moaning deliciously as you adjusted around it.

“You wish this was your cock, instead?” You asked him seductively, earning an immediate nod from him. 

“God, yes…” He answered quickly. “I'd literally do anything you wanted of me… I’d-I’d worship you…” 

You moaned again, loudly, his words making you push the dildo in deeper and stretch yourself more.

“Worship me?” Your voice came out sensual, slightly affected by the feeling of the pink toy in you. Neil nodded and groaned, pumping his cock a bit faster.

“Yes... I’d love to kiss you, taste you… make you smile… make you come…” He was beautifully desperate, too fucking sweet. You felt your cheeks at the edge of burning, your hand kept moving, you kept fucking yourself with the dildo.

It was inevitable now, his adoring and genuine praises did something to you, to your wet cunt that only got much more wetter. You arched your back and moaned, never once stopping your hand that held the dildo. 

“More..” You whined to him, needing more of his sweet words. His breathing sped up as his hands worked his cock faster. He was dumbfounded for a split second, but he would never deny you anything.

“I'd spend hours eating your pussy if you let me… I just wanna make you come with my tongue…” He added, his voice a little shaky. 

“Oh fuck..” You moaned loudly, feeling so turned on and getting closer, faster than you expected too… You looked at the screen, seeing him stare at you with those beautiful desperate blue eyes. So, you moved the toy back to your clit and turned it up even higher.

“Neil… I'm gonna come..” You warned him with a loud whine that mixed with the buzzing sound of the vibrator. It was so uncommon for you to even reach this stage so fast, but there was something about his sweet voice, his eyes, his praises… They were doing something to you that you weren’t at all used to…

“Please, come for me…” Neil begged softly, his hand sped up around his cock. “I wanna come with you…” He moaned, shutting his pretty eyes and breathing heavily. 

“Yes... Yes!” You cried out loudly, every muscle of your legs trembled viciously and your clit sent overwhelming waves of pleasure to every last nerve you had. The perfect prelude to an intense, looming orgasm. “Neil…” You moaned needy. 

Neil´s baby blue eyes widened even more, watching you in amazement. With a few more vibrations against your sensitive clit, you came undone just for his eyes to enjoy. Your cry of pleasure sent shivers down his spine and harder pumps to his throbbing, aching cock. Oh, he’d do anything to feel that sweet orgasm of yours happen all around him.

“Fuck, me too.. I’m coming too..” He spoke with  a strained voice, looking right at you and keeping eye contact through the screen. His eager hand jacked him off almost in desperation, massaging his hard cock until reaching an intense abrupt stop. Ropes of his thick white come coated his hand as he let out little groans. His dick twitched and pulsed in his palm and he threw his head back for a moment there. Your eyes studied the scene on your laptop screen detailedly, up until the last little bit of his cum dribbled out.

“Fuuuck..” He groaned softly, he then gave you a satisfied smile. “That was fucking amazing..”.

You giggled a little, his voice was hoarse and just so attractive. You couldn’t agree more with him.

For his eyes, you spread your pussy lips again, proudly showing him the aftermath of what he helped you achieve: your lips glistening with your orgasm. He groaned a bit, his mouth nearly watering.

“I wish I could clean you up with my tongue… I’d give anything for a taste…” He whispered desperately. You bit your lip, it was unbelievable just what this sweet guy did to you.

After a few more breaths, you both sat up and angled your cameras back up to your faces. Neil cleaned himself up on camera, a box of tissues ready on his desk.

“Sorry it happened so fast…” You started to apologize, your mind now clearer and aware that you still had a half hour left for the call, but Neil cut you off before you could finish speaking:

“Please… don’t apologize. That was… Everything to me. Besides… I’d love to just talk too, is that okay?…” He muttered softly.

“Yeah, of course, if that’s what you want…” You answered with slight sheepishness at his sweet words. Still, conversation with Neil just flowed… So naturally… 

“You already know what I do for a living…” You said with a little smirk, his cute laughter resonated from your laptop´s speakers. “What do you do for work?” 

“I actually own a small movie rental store… It's called Gumshoe Video. Been my dream since I was a kid, opened up about 5 years ago now, actually.” Neil answered with a genuine smile, proud of himself. 

“Wow, that's awesome.. I actually love movies, especially older romance movies…” You confessed, and he felt butterflies. You were beautiful AND loved old movies? You really were his dream girl after all. 

“Really?” He asked, a little shocked. You giggled gently.

“Yeah, of course… Brief Encounter is one of my favorites.” You looked at his perfect brown curls through the screen as his mouth turned into a grin. 

 “Wow! Yeah, I love that one! I love David Lean.” He agreed, something deep in his chest fluttering. The more you talked, the more you realized you had more in common than either of you would have ever thought. Talking with him was just so easy, so effortlessly. Neil was just as sweet talking face-to-face as he was online.

“Can I ask where you're from?” He said shyly, not knowing if that’s crossing the line or not. Understandable nervousness stirs in you.

“I usually don’t disclose that kind of information to anyone…” You started and received a pleasant little surprise when you saw Neil nodding in acceptance softly. But before he could speak you felt your gut just telling you to say it. “I live in Chicago.” You suddenly blurted out. 

You watched his eyes widen a bit.

“Chicago?” Neil whispered to himself softly. “I-I’m in the Chicago suburbs!” 

Your eyes widened too, the revelation feeling just right. He was so close to you this whole time and you didn’t even know it…

“Wow..” You whispered, a little shocked at the news. “Small world i guess…” You smiled and Neil laughed a bit.

“No kidding.” He agreed. The girl he’s been pining after and thinking about for months… Practically neighbors with him. 

There was an awkward silence for a second as you both processed the information. Finally, he spoke:

“I'd love to possibly take you on a date sometime… If you’d be okay with it, that is… Just want to treat you like a princess... We wouldn’t have to have sex or anything…”  He rambles just so cutely. You really considered it. Butterflies flew in your stomach. Most men only saw you as a sex object, something they could use and move on from. Neil wasn’t that kind of guy, that was obvious. He was kind and thoughtful. You had never even considered ever wanting to meet someone from only fans… Until today… Until Neil. 

Your beautiful glossy lips almost uttered the word “yes”... But suddenly, you decided against it. You felt a little bad when you saw his face fall a bit at your decline, but you had to watch out for yourself. Though he was bummed, he understood.

“Of course, I understand completely… Maybe we could have another private session? I’d really love to talk again…” Neil adapted the goalposts for your comfort, his sweet innocent eyes making you melt. You smiled, and decided to accept. The grin returned to his handsome face.

“I'll have to sell some things but I'll be good…  Maybe next week? Same day and same time?” He said enthusiastically and your smile fell a bit. Guilt crept back on you. He was selling things just to pay to speak to you. No, you wouldn't let this be. 

Despite the fact that it had just been one call, you felt more for him, more than you ever thought you would. You usually had no problem taking men’s money but with him… It just felt wrong. You felt terrible. 

“No, please don’t do that…” You stopped him, he furrowed his brow a bit in confusion. “Next one's on me because I finished so early this time…” It was an excuse, yes, but one that seemed to work well enough so he wouldn't have to sell his possessions just to see you. 

“Really?” He asked softly, seeming a little shocked by your words. “It's really no problem… I don't want to take advantage of you… I know it’s your job…” He whispered, giving you those perfect sweet eyes that made you melt once again.

“Really.” You told him, completely sure of your decision. “I promise” And you reassured him with a soft smile. Neil´s smirk grew. 

“Thank you so much… I'd just like to see you again... Maybe talk more about movies too, hopefully?” he asked softly, gentle excitement in his voice. You blushed a little bit. God, he’s sweet. 

“I'd like that!” You agreed with a soft smile, a casual glance to the time on your laptop made you notice that you had reached a little over an hour on the call. “Well… I'll see you next week then, Neil…Bye bye!” You said softly, looking at him through the screen and giving him a little wave. 

“Goodbye, beautiful…  Sleep well.” Neil said so genuinely it made your heart burst a little. He gave you a soft wave and you smiled in return. The video call finally ended and you let out a deep sigh, feeling all kinds of emotions.

As the call ended on his end and the screen went back to black, Neil smiled to himself, feeling happier and more excited than he has in a long time. Now that he knew he would see you again next week, just like he did tonight… It made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

He went to bed that night still reeling, replaying it all in his mind over and over. Finally, he set his phone down and settled into bed. A movie played for background noise as he tried to relax, even if the image of your beautiful face kept him awake and so painfully aware of just how much he needed you. It was then when his phone pinged with a notification from his bank:

 $800.00 USD refunded to checking account.

Under it, there was a message reading: 

“I enjoyed myself as much as you did… I’ll see you next week Neil, can’t wait…” 

It was from you. His jaw dropped a bit in disbelief. This was only the beginning…

Pinterest moodboard to help you visualize, made by @fuckiingloser the queen herself!

Neil Lewis playlist made by me!

Part 2... (HERE) ;)

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Coffees, Plural

Colt Seavers (The Fall Guy 2024) x Reader

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story except for Sheila and the reader insert!

Author’s Notes: Reader uses she/her pronouns and is AFAB; reader has an immigrant mother, however where her mother is from is unspecified. The plot of the movie hath been screwed with, basically just imagine the movie with no *SPOILERRR* murdering by our dear leading man, that Jody and Colt are just friends and Colt never had his accident. While I don’t like erasing big plots it was hard to work around it with the timeframe of both the movie and the fic, hopefully the writing makes up for it 🙃 Jody and reader are friends from college, Colt and reader meet on the set of Metalstorm. If you like the story, a comment would be super appreciated! Part two and three are out! Icons by @gosling-girlx !! She’s the best!

Content/Content Warning: Nothing crazy, this is just the meet cute!

𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼

If you had asked me what I thought I’d be doing with my life ten years ago, me-from-ten-years-ago would have told you something along the lines of “I don’t know,” “teacher,” or perhaps “nomad.”

That would’ve been her (me-from-ten-years-ago’s) third year of college, where she was newly 21, burnt out, sick of the education program, and just about ready to drop out.

Then she discovered makeup. Fun, out of the box makeup. Her immigrant mother, who really did mean well, had given her a graphic liner palette for Christmas- “Oh honey, I thought this was the makeup you wanted!” And sure, it wasn’t what she had wanted… at first… but then, the week before exams in a fit of stress, she tried it out. Five hours later she discovered a talent she never knew she had, and had created a look that had astounded both her and her roommate, Jody Moreno.

She’d always been good at the basics- rarely did a day pass without getting a compliment on her eyeliner wing or her ombré eyeshadow, but this graphic liner? This was where it was at. It challenged her and made her smile, and she finally found what she wanted to do in her life. Makeup-more specifically the out of the box makeup- had been what spoke to her after years of not knowing what it was that she truly loved.

She- I- dropped out the day before my exam. A couple years later, after some practice and online beauty school, I had a steady gig going with weddings, senior pictures and other fancy clientele. My mom wasn’t super hyped about the idea of a makeup artist daughter at first, but once she saw the bank I was making within half a year of working her mind was changed.

Now listen. I wasn’t actively looking to be this restless soul who wouldn’t stop until she found “the perfect gig.”

But quite frankly, the makeup that pays the best is usually the most boring in composition. I could do these plain, “natural” looks in my sleep. But the thing was, nothing was giving me the same rush as when I ventured out of “normalcy” with that graphic liner years ago. Sure, in my free time I’d practice the cool graphic stuff, even venturing into more VFX style stuff, like wicked scars and things, but my free time was few and far between.

About a year ago, that same Jody Moreno, my old roommate reached out. As far as careers go she definitely had a straighter path than me. For as long as she could remember she wanted to be a director, she’d tell me. We both went to community college, but for her it was for her undergraduate so she would have a fall back if her film degree didn’t end up taking her anywhere.

Film ended up working out for her, and though we lost touch after community college, from what I’d seen on her Instagram she was doing pretty freaking well for herself, and I was happy for her.

Her producer finally gave her a shot at directing her own film last year, a movie called “Metalstorm.” Some sort of space opera with a cowboy of all things, starring world-famous actor Tom Ryder.

Now, I’m not personally too big on Tom Ryder movies- he comes off as a douche and his acting is… a choice, to say the least.

However, when your old roommate reaches out with a job proposition to be a part of a Tom Ryder movie, you don’t say no.

I couldn’t have said yes faster to Jody’s offer. I remember gawking at the screen when I read her message-

“Hey, y/n!

I know it’s been a long while, and I’m sorry for that!

To make up for it, I was wondering if you’d like to work as makeup artist on this movie I’m directing? It’s sort of a space opera with a cowboy- I know, it sounds random- and the producer’s letting me do some of my own hires if I’d like.

Anyway, if you’re interested, I’ll provide you with more details. We’ll be shooting in Australia, and I’ll get you your own trailer on set. Just let me know!

X Jody Moreno”

I could barely register how adorable it was that she still signed off with an X after all these years because of how shocked I was.

First was the fact that she had gotten her own movie- it wasn’t so much shocking as incredible, and super exciting.

Second was the fact that she was offering me a job, and that she remembered me when she got big in the industry. I had told her before I dropped out to remember me when she was famous, as a joke, but I guess she took it seriously which was extremely endearing.

I replied with an enthusiastic “yes!” and the next thing I knew I was in Australia.

I’ve gotten to do all sorts of weird makeup things since I’ve been here, including funky scars and alien makeup. It’s the dream, and it’s a blast!

I have even been trusted to do Tom Ryder’s looks, which thankfully don’t take too much effort or time because as I suspected, he is in fact a massive douche with an ego the size of Mars. I was able to get him passed over to Sheila, our executive makeup artist who takes no nonsense, and who cuts him off by busting into song- usually an eighties hit- any time he tries to speak. She has a great voice, so both the lack of his asshole words and the presence of her beautiful voice are very much welcomed.

Sheila liked the work I was doing for the Space Cowboy scars though, so she gave me Douchebag’s main stuntman to work on.

Enter Colt Seavers. Six feet of pure muscle and a well filled out frame, blue eyes with an energy that can only be described as “puppy-like,” brown hair that’s dyed blonde on the tips to match Douchebag, and a rogue-ish beard. He’s undeniably attractive, and he’s got a sarcastic sense of humor to match.

Basically, he’s what Tom Ryder is played out to be, but better. 

When I had first met him, it took me a hot minute to pick my jaw up off the floor. It was a Monday morning, three months into my time on the filming site. I’d over slept that morning, and made it to the makeup trailer ten minutes late, worried that my new client would be wondering where I was. In my defense, 6 in the morning is too early to be doing anything.

I had breathed out a huge sigh of relief when I found out that he was apparently also running late, and grabbed a grape soda from the mini fridge in the trailer. We had every flavor- from cherry to pickle- but I was most fond of grape.

Sheila, who was my main friend in the makeup crew as well as being my most direct boss, didn’t have to come in for another hour because Tom Ryder was always (at least!!) an hour and a half late to every appointment. I didn’t really know the other artists at the time, so I just sat in my chair waiting for my client as the others worked on the early clients. They were working on the extras who played humans in the upcoming scene, making sure everyone had a unique futuristic look.

Ten minutes later I decided I was sick of waiting and pulled out my graphic liner, the same pallet from ten years ago. It was a little worse for wear, about half the colors missing and the others not far off. But it reminded me of my roots and why I was where I was, and I couldn’t bear to part with it- even if I was in dire need of pink. Kidding. I love the thing, so, so much.

I ended up doing something elaborate with purple, green and blue arches. It sort of looked like the northern lights, if the northern lights were a dramatic eyeliner wing.

I was nearly done with the touch ups, too locked in on the look to notice on the figure that appeared behind me somewhere between the second swipe of purple and the subtle yellow accent.

“Hi! You must be y/n, sorry I’m late-” came a soft, low voice that had a slight gravel to it. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly focusing on the exact tone of his voice when I jumped with a slight squeak and dragged yellow down the side of my face. Real nice.

“Oof, sorry!” he said. He was holding two cups of coffee, and he looked very unsure of what to do.

If wiping yellow eyeliner down the side of my face hadn’t been embarrassing enough, I just had to look up. I caught his blue-eyed gaze in the mirror, took in all six feet of him and was basically, to put it as elegantly as possible, completely taken aback by his hotness.

I promise I’m not a superficial person, by the way. Colt Seavers is just really this pretty. I’ve never been one to notice the “intensity of the blue hue of [one’s] eyes,” or any romance novel cliche like that, but Colt Seavers was a very different story.

Remember how I mentioned that my jaw had been on the floor when I met him? When I stopped mentally drooling over him in his dirty white Space Cowboy costume with all its latches and gold accents I realized that my mouth was actually open. Oops. Really great first impression.

“I’m so sorry. Let’s try this again. I’m y/n, and you’re-“

“Colt Seavers- stuntman, and guy who scares makeup artists when he’s a half hour late. Sorry I startled you,” he apologized genuinely.

“It’s all good,” I said, standing up. His chest is eye level, and I don’t really know how to feel about that. “I’ll tell you what- how about you take a seat and just give me a minute to wash this off,” I suggest.

“Yeah of course, please, take your time!”

“No worries, it’ll be just a minute. You can set your coffees, plural, on the counter in front of the chair,” I told him.

“My coffees, plural, and I are grateful for your kindness,” he teased. I shook my head and smiled, and then walked into the bathroom of the trailer to fix my face. About a minute it was off- thankfully my old pallet wasn’t the most top notch makeup. I returned back to my little booth of sorts, where Colt sat comfortably, his leg bouncing up and down.

“Are your coffees, plural, comfortable?” I asked by way of greeting.

“Why yes they are, thank you,” he chuckled.

“I’m going to get started on the scarring in your face, if that’s alright?”

“Of course.”

“So… the coffees?” I tried to make conversation as I pulled a couple of pallets out from the drawer in the booth.

“They’re my life force,” he says dramatically.

“Oh yeah?” I first grab an alcohol wipe, and gently wipe his face.

“Yep- and also the reason I was late. Sorry again, by the way.”

“No worries- I was late too. Only ten minutes though,” I start applying primer with a fluffy brush.

“We can’t all be a half hour late,” he conceded as if it were an accomplishment. I liked his humor right off the bat.

“That is true…” I agree as I finish applying the powder. “Alright, we’re going to let that sit a minute. Care to tell me how your coffees- plural- made you late?”

His ears turn red. Man, he’s cute.

“Er- I have an affinity- not an addiction!- for coffee, if you couldn’t already tell.”

“An affinity?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to emulate The Rock in my stare.

“Yes, an affinity,” there was that little laugh again. It’s sort of a giggle, and definitely unexpected from this guy who looks like a walking action hero. I liked it. “Anyway, I drank a cup-or two-before getting into this costume, thinking that if I had to, er, piss, I could get out of it easily. It took a half hour to get into all of these damn buckles, and by the end of that half hour, guess who had to piss?”

“The costume designer?” I joked. That got a laugh out of him, again.

“Yes, the costume designer, obviously. But yeah, apparently a side effect of my coffee addic-affinity is perpetual lateness.”

“Huh, I’ll have to keep that in mind,” I noted as I reached for one of my pallets. “I’m going to start on the scarring on your face, there’s one that goes on your left cheek and another where your hair’s parted.”

“Okay, sounds good.” It’s quiet for a little bit, but not necessarily in an awkward way. I’m about halfway done with the scarring on his cheek, the one that’s supposed to look like a fresh wound.

“So, how’d you get into makeup?” Colt asked, careful not to move his mouth too much.

“Oh, that’s a bit of a long story,” I told him, adding highlights to the scar.

“I’ve got time,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“If you say so…” I mumbled, before telling him the abridged version of how I got into makeup.

“I have to say, I’m really glad your mom bought you the wrong pallet,” he commented at the end of my story.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re really good at what you do,” he complimented, sincerity in his voice as he checked himself out in mirror. By that point I had finished his face, and stepped behind him so he could see himself. We both smiled, eyes meeting in the glass.

“Thanks,” I said, trying not to cringe at the light blush that had appeared on my face.

Looking back on it, I think my crush on Colt Seavers really did develop on day one. But little did I know, it’d only get stronger.

𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼𐬿𐬼

[paintedplum7]

Dave Miller’s Character—From the Perspective of an Age Regressor

Slight disclaimer: This is not meant to be a 100% ‘yes this is the intended reading’ kind of analysis post on Dave Miller. I’m mostly writing this for myself more than anything, but I also feel like there is something here, intended or not! Take in mind I’m also not going to be using supplementary material like ask replies from Dogman into account, just the games! Feel free to take anything I say with a small palmful of salt ;]

So when I got back into DSAF earlier back in November, becoming familiar with Dave after realizing that I was an age regressor sort of made me put his character in a new light. Recently, I played through all three DSAF games in order, and there were several moments—particularly in DSAF 3—that sort of made me go “oh yeah, he totally is an age regressor”.

Dave’s regression is more psychological, more permanent, similar to my own, so that’s the lens I’ll be viewing Dave from for the remainder of this post. Usually, when I think of Dave, there’s a Bojack Horseman quote that pops up in my mind every time. Paraphrased from memory, it’s “People who become famous in their twenties stay in their twenties,” and I think that quote applies to Dave very well. Even Jack, who similarly died in his twenties, still matures with his franchise if we take his dialogue options at face value. Dave however, never changes all that much. Yes, his character is refined in between DSAF 1 and 2, but after that point, he remains largely stagnant.

We know that Dave associates his young adulthood to be his childhood, and seeks to recreate his childhood via Jack. Well into his middle ages in the nineties, and even after his soul is split apart between realities, even after he learns the truth of Henry, and leaves Jack, he still clings those memories. That much is obvious. Dave’s childhood at Fredbear’s is tied to him all throughout the series; it dictates how he acts, but that’s explicitly stated in the games several times. I want to dig a little deeper, because I think his regression extends more than just him being close to the diner.

Dave is incredibly childish, even for someone that’s presumably stuck in his twenties due to the experiments conducted by Henry. Henry said himself that Dave’s conscience ‘unburdened itself’ after he started taking tissue from his frontal lobe. Some aspects of his childishness include:

Talking to himself.

Being a messy eater.

Throwing tantrums. (I’m sorry for the dip in quality. I had to boot up my computer to get these specific lines of text because there was no useable footage online, and I had to use my shitty phone camera to get these pictures because Windows makes transferring screenshots to mobile devices so DIFFICULT).

And squabbling on whether Chica is a duck or not with Dee, to name a few. (I find this fight to be interesting on Dee’s end, too. Dee and Dave are foils. Dee believing herself to be an adult despite being six years old, and Dave’s childish tendencies well into his adulthood is just one of the many examples of them being foils).

Even his fears display his immaturity!

This is just off the top of my head, too! If I’ve missed something let me know!

In spite of that, Dave loves feeling useful, and I think it’s in due to the fact that Henry frequently infantilized him in their time together, and him calling Dave ‘Willy’ is only scratching the surface of examples.

(Mollycoddle means to give someone an absurd amount of protection, or pampering, typically towards men and boys).

I know that feeling of knowing that you’re less mature than your other peers, and having the need to make up for it, and I think Dave encapsulates that feeling very well.

I think what I love the most about Dave and his regression is that he’s still unapologetically raunchy! His childishness, his immaturity, his regression, whatever you want to call it—it doesn’t exempt him from that part of himself. It’s easy to associate what isn’t the perfect pastel-colored box as ‘ugly regression’, a term that I hate because it implies regression needs to look a certain way. It doesn’t; that’s not true at all. I’m very glad there’s a character like Dave I can relate to, even if I am grasping for straws out here lol

This was a really fun, self-indulgent analysis to make, and while I doubt most of it was intentional, I think there’s something you can get out of this, particularly with Dave and Henry, but that’s it for now!

[blackbird-brewster]

Meta: Jemily Queerbaiting

With the huge influx of posts saying 'Jemily is gonna be canon', I really appreciated seeing this post because OP was completely correct. I didn't want to write an entire dissertation as a reply, so I'm making my own post with my personal opinion on this. (All sources are noted in footnotes)

Before I began this rant, for anyone who thinks this is anti-Jemily. It is not. I have shipped Jemily for 18 friggin years and that's never going to change. This post is specifically my thoughts about queer baiting.

First off, I need to note that the showrunners (and the cast members who use social media) KNOW what a huge queer following this show has and that's why we got pansexual Tara Lewis in S16 [1]. Which, in itself, was SOOOOOOO important!!! Our first canonically queer main in SIXTEEN seasons was a middle-aged Black woman!!! That's phenomenal. (The fact it was horrible rep, because they instantly ruined her relationships once her queerness served it's plot point is a whole other post entirely)

In my opinion, the 'big Jemily moment' Paget posted about on Twitter [2] (and AJ hinted at during a recent IG live) is simply queerbaiting to get people to watch S17. I know a lot of you are newer to the fandom and I love your enthusiasm, I really do, ship and let ship, but listen, let's be real, Jemily is not going to be made canon. The showrunners aren't going to suddenly say (after 17 seasons) 'Surprise, Jemily is endgame'. This show has never cared about queer rep and now that CBS/Paramount have already ticked their queer rep box with Tara, they won't be in any rush to add any other characters to it.

Please buckle in, I've got a lot of thoughts on this matter --

What is Queerbaiting?

If you aren't aware of what queerbaiting is, here's a good definition:

Historically, queerbaiting has carried two meanings: the first is an act of aggressive heterosexuality to shut down queer subtext on screen while still teasing and catering to the queer audience in advertising, public relations, and fan engagement strategies; the second is an existing homoerotic tension between two characters played up on screen while met with derision by the professionals behind the scenes. [3]

The Medium article quoted here is from 2017, a time when parasocial relationships were really starting to take over social media. In 2024, actors are now only a mention or tag away online, they have direct conversations with fans, and this process has allowed for an even deeper form of queerbaiting.

Oftentimes online, actors are asked directly about certain ships and while some ignore these questions (usually to avoid breaking their contracts or other repercussions), others (looking at you, Paget) choose to instead tease fans about queer ships. She's done this for years upon years and if I've learned anything in the past twenty-years of existing in fandom spaces it's this -- don't hold your breath. In it's original meaning, for something to be deemed as queerbaiting there had to be malicious, or at least, purposeful intent to string queer fans along by teasing them with suggestive content about the ship in question, while knowing this ship will never come to fruition in canon.

The thing to remember is, Paget and AJ aren't the only ones who know about Jemily shippers -- the network and showrunners are well aware of this ship too. When networks/showrunners figure out they have a strong sapphic fanbase, they love to use that to their advantage to get more viewers and higher ratings. Queerbaiting is a goldmine to keep fans watching long running shows, look at Rizzoli and Isles, Supergirl, and OUAT for examples of this.

Jemily and Queerbaiting:

Ever since Emily joined the BAU in S2 (2006), there have always been fans who ship JJ/Emily (shoutout to the old LJ forums!). Way before celebs were just a tweet away from fans, back when all our fics began with disclaimers so we wouldn't get sued by networks, we went to great lengths to keep our fanworks far removed from actors/showrunners attention.

As far as Jemily goes, this reply from Paget in a 2009 interview with TVGuide.com [4] (which has now been deleted from their site unfortunately, but there are quotes on Tumblr still [4.a]) confirmed some fans' worst fear -- the actors had found our fanworks online.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

This was the first time I recall anyone acknowledging Jemily shippers publicly and at the time (Jan 2009), the show was still in Season Four (just before CBS fired both AJ and Paget [5]). Paget genuinely said it's 'hilarious' that fans shipped JJ/Emily. Even now, I'll see people say 'We know Paget and AJ have seen Jemily fanvids, so they obviously ship it too' -- but those same people rarely acknowledge the full context of the original answer. Paget not only thought JJ/Emily were 'hilarious', but then she doubled down and turned her reply back to how she and Thomas liked to play up the chemistry between Emily/Hotch.

While no one can say for sure which video it was that AJ sent Paget, just knowing they were watching JJ/Emily fanvids sent a bit of a shockwave through the femslash side of the fandom. To some it felt like an invasion of privacy, fanworks are by fans for fans -- knowing the cast were poking around in fandom spaces added an extra layer of worry around what we fans were posting online. Fifteen years ago, it used to be quite taboo for actors to outwardly discuss shipping or other fanon for whatever show they were in, and we fans were usually comfortably removed from the actors altogether.

Of course, now it's the norm for fans and actors/showrunners to co-exist online and interact with one another. This connection has opened new ways for shows to queerbait their fans. Pretty much every show has some form of social media account now and there is no doubt that the people running those accounts keep up with the most popular ships and hashtags. Not to mention that actors are constantly barraged with questions about whether they ship their character with x,y,z, or whether they think a ship should be made canon, etc. These interactions only serve to benefit the shows themselves, because whether the conversation is for or against a certain ship, it's all just free publicity (Why do you think CM now has a TikTok account?)

Every time AJ or Paget say anything about Jemily, the queer side of the fandom loses their minds. But this has been going on for YEARS now and every single time, it turns out to be nothing but social media hype and queerbaiting. Remember this AJ post? [6] Or what about the notorious reply by Paget to a fan, where she talks about how she and AJ held hands under the table 'for the shippers' [7] I've seen this cycle over and over again, so perhaps I am cynical, but I'm not getting my hopes up that Jemily will ever seriously be canon.

It's widely known now, after both Kirsten [8] and Paget [9] have talked about it, that there was an early idea where Prentiss was supposed to be queer, but that was ultimately scraped before it ever made it on screen. For context, please remember, this show has been airing for nearly twenty years. It began in 2005, during the highly conservative Bush administration. Queer people didn't have rights in the US, we couldn't get married, we were rarely protected under discrimination laws, and we could even be fired for simply being queer (in some states). Diverse queer representation on screen was extremely limited to things like 'The L Word' and 'Queer as Folk' (both aired on Showtime, so they were behind a paywall. And as far as tLw goes, that show was extremely male-gaze focused and is horrible in nearly all regards if you try to rewatch it now). As far as prime time shows went, queer rep was even more rare. Which is why Emily wasn't queer from the get-go.

Yes, things have changed since 2006 in terms of queer rep on TV. We have a myriad of queer identities represented in TV and film nowadays, which is why I think it's so easy for newer fans to say 'lf she was supposed to be gay anyway, they should just make Emily queer in canon!' I know this is what fuels most fans' demands for Emily being confirmed queer, and I get it, I DO. I would be all for it! However, I do not, in one hundred years, actually believe that is going to happen after they already canonically queer confirmed Tara in S16. The fact we even got ONE queer character is ground-breaking for this show.

It's also worth noting, that in the time between Paget's departure in 2012 and her return in 2016, she became very active on Twitter. This was when more and more fans began asking her about Jemily and after Kirsten's AfterEllen interview, fans also pushed for Paget to address the possibility of Emily being gay. 'Pushed' is actually an understatement for some of the outright harassment she would receive. (AJ received some of this harassment too, but less so because she doesn't use social media ass often) Back then, neither of them replied to these things directly. Yet, no matter what either woman posted, the replies were full of Jemily stans begging for her acknowledgement. (Did you know 'stan' is literally a term coined for stalker fans?) I remember one time AJ's friend was missing and she posted info on her IG about it, you know what the replies were? People asking her about Jemily. It was genuinely sickening.

Within this context, it was no surprise to fans when Emily came back in S12 , she and JJ's friendship was seemingly erased. The two women were rarely on screen together in the late seasons, plus the writers saw fit to even give Emily not only one (Mark in London, but two, on-screen boyfriends for the first time in the entire series. I personally do not think these changes to Emily's character were coincidence, I saw the hellscape of what people would say to AJ and Paget online and I fully believe that upon Paget's return to the show, the showrunners purposely tried to distance JJ and Emily to dissuade the more abusive side of the fanbase.

Can I prove that, no. But it is the only reason I can think of as to why Emily S12+ seemingly didn't care about JJ anymore, despite their deep and meaningful friendship. I mean, they both CROSSED THE WORLD to go rescue each other in prior canon -- but when Emily comes back, they acted like they barely knew each other. This was even more prevalent in S16, when JJ's main storylines all revolved around Will, and Emily barely looked at JJ in the entirety of ten episodes. (Remember how Prentiss didn't even hug JJ after bomb, but she did go hug Luke?)

So, do Paget and AJ earnestly ship Jemily, or are they continuing the long tradition of queerbaiting us? Who fucking knows, not me. But based on the history of this fandom, I think I can make a safe bet. (Interestingly, if you search all of Paget's twitter for the word 'Jemily' [10] she only has 3 direct tweets mentioning the ship. I don't think it's a coincidence that two are within the past few months since they started filming S17 (the other one was a RT of Kirsten (who tagged something Jemily)

This is all to say --

Just because Paget and AJ have publicly talked about Jemily,, this doesn't mean it's ever going to happen on screen. And you know what, THAT'S OKAY!! There has been this constant outcry (after Tara became queer confirmed) of 'Do Emily next' or 'Why wasn't it Emily with a girlfriend!?' and 'Jemily needs to be canon in S17!' -- as if people believe their ships aren't worth anything unless they are canon.

That couldn't be further from the truth! Fandom is built on headcanons and fan interpretations and rare pairs and all types of shippers. Your ship does NOT need to be canon for you to enjoy it. I will ship Jemily forever, no matter what. I don't think there will be some magical queer plot in S17, at best, we might actually get to see Emily/JJ on screen together again and after the train wreck that was S16 -- I'll take whatever I can get.

And hey -- if I am completely wrong, if Erica Messer pulls a Korrasami out of her hat, I will be ecstatic. I will be happy to be proved wrong, but at the same time, I'm not going to lose sleep over it and I'm DEFINITELY not going to go hound the actors about it on social media.

Sources:

[1] 2022 Digital Spy article about the importance of Tara's coming out

[2] 04/18/24 Paget Tweet

[3] 2017 Queerbaiting article from medium.com

[4] 2009 Broken TVGuide link

[4.a] Tumblr quote from the above TVGuide Interview

[5] 2010 Kirsten interview screenrant.com

[6] 2019 AJ Instagram Post

[7] 2020 Paget video on Twitter (via @karasluthqr)

[8] 2015 Kirsten interview AfterEllen.com

[9] 2016 Paget Interview CriminalMindsFans.com

[10] @PagetPaget search 'Jemily'

[errihaienx]

Hello!! Can I have a request hq characters reaction on being prank by their girlfriend. The prank will be the girlfriend will be fake texting someone while laughing while they are doing something on their phone. Thank youuu, love ur works btw. 🫶🏼

Hiii i am not quite sure who among all of the hq characters shall i write reaction on. so i applied multiple characters(characters who i am familiar with, i can't include everyone T^T) by the reaction that i think they will have during the prank! thank you for loving my works ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

(REQ!)

quick disclaimer: these scenarios don't affect the original plot of the series. any information or events that contradict the original plot are purely fictional. (i do not own any of the characters) (I did not proofread this)

⠀:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀ ⠀ `· . ୨୧⠀HQ MEN REACTING TO YOUR 'FAKE TEXTING SOMEONE' PRANK

SUNA, Tsukishima, Kenma, Kunimi

"I KNEW IT BUT WHY AM I SO GRUMPY"

Actually saw and knew about the trend, but he didn't expect you to do this, so when he found out you were following the trend, he was taken aback.

though what he couldn't understand is why the hell is he grumpy and displeased about it even though he knows that it is just a prank

"Heyy, your mouth could reach the ground, stop pouting! you knew it was a prank, so why are you acting like that"

"You're such a child, why are you even doing those things?" he said sharply.

If you've just been his girlfriend for a short time, his remarks will hurt you, but at this point you just know that it's either his love language or he was born that way.

"So who's the grumpy one because I did some 'childish stuff'?" you laughed

You returned to the prank and began typing random letters while giggling, and then your phone was taken away in a matter of seconds.

"Hey! what are you doing!"

He checked your phone with strained brows, then handed it to you, his countenance considerably calmer now.

"What did you do?"

"I don't usually check phones coz that's your privacy but I can't help it, stop that antics of yours and just cuddle me that would've been better"

"I don't want to!"

"oh trust me you do"

OIKAWA, Atsumu, Kuroo, Terushima

"YOU DID ME SO DIRTY, I'LL BE DOIN' THE SAME >:("

It was a typical day for you and him; he was busy packing for an international match, at the same time you were laughing on your phone.

"What's the matter, babe?" He asked

He stopped doing his thing while his gaze fall upon you.

"N-nothing! I'm j-just talking with a friend.."

Your nervous chuckle made his eyebrow shot up. When he's packing his belongings, you usually help him, but he thinks it's strange because you're texting and giggling with someone else instead.

You snickered as you swiftly glanced at him, seeing his brow furrowed while stiffly folding his clothes.

That caused him to stare at you again, and this time he can't help himself.

"Babe."

"y-yeah?"

"Who are you texting."

"he's a-"

"He?! I haven't left yet and you are replacing me right away??"

You turned your phone off, trying not to giggle, and reached out your hand to him, which he ignored while looking at you.

"Explain." he sternly said, with his arms crossed.

"It was nothing! I just saw a video online about fake texting and I decided to-"

He interrupted you by laughing dryly. You handed him your phone and told him to check it himself if he was doubtful.

"I don't have to, I believe you. I can't just believe that you did this to me!"

You hugged him because he looked betrayed.

"Just wait until I start giggling and kicking my feet while texting someone!"

His childish words made you roll your eyes; he'll certainly never do this ever. He is totally committed to you.

SAKUSA, Kageyama, Ushijima

"UH YEAH OKAY GO ON, I'M HURT BUT I WON'T BE SAYIN' THAT TO YOU"

Your boyfriend arrived at your shared condo late at night. Tired and feeling a bit drowsy, you knew exactly what he needs. yourself

But, for the time being, he will not be getting that. You're busy pretending to text someone.

"My hugs..?"

You ignored him as you shifted your body so that it looked like you were hiding what you'd been doing.

"Love.. what are you doing?" he asked again

His voice was soft and desperate, so you kept typing random letters and let out a quick giggle that drew his attention.

"Oh are you talking with Sana-san?" he concluded

You finally looked at him with a grin on your face, finding his conclusion amusing.

"No, babe, I was talking with a male friend.. have you eaten?" you returned the question

You could see his eyes widen a little; he knew you didn't have any close male friends, so you expected him to question you. He, however, did not.

"Oh, okay.. go on continue talking to him."

His cold, trying-not-to-sound-jealous voice was hilarious, his ears growing red, and the way he acts in the next minutes confirms his jealousy.

He's always been this way; he's not the very jealous type, and when he is, he attempts to hide it and fails miserably. He'll be stiff and irritable, as though he doesn't know how to act.

After a few minutes had gone and you had not heard from him, you stood up and provided him a back hug.

"Hey baby, I was just kidding.. I missed you so much.."

He shifted his weight and is now facing you with a less tense manner, but his brow wrinkled clearly indicates that he needs a little clarification.

"You preferred to play some pranks on me rather than give me my hugs."

AKAASHI, Iwaizumi, Kita, Hinata, Sugawara, Osamu, Daichi

"I UNDERSTAND YOU MWA (ɔˆ ³(ˆᴗˆc)"

He got confused when he called you for dinner and you were still on your phone, texting and laughing constantly. especially since you had a motto "food always comes first!"

"My love? I called for you, you can continue that later.." He called again

He got your attention, and you acted annoyed by turning your phone off in a tetchy manner.

"Eat first, you were doing what?"

"I was messaging a friend, and he invited me to watch a movie with some of our mutual friends."

You assumed him to question you, but knowing your partner's personality, he didn't. You finished your dinner, but he's still all smiles!

What you expected did not come around, and guess what? He even insisted on driving you to the place you were going.

Because of how things played out, your prank was reversed, and you are now the one who is grumpy.

"Hmmm, why are you acting this way?" he gently asked as he kissed the furrow in your brow.

"Nothing!"

He laughed at your defensive tone, still holding you in his arms;

"I love you.."

THE BOKUTO ( my baby ! ‹𝟹 ) TYPE

he'll be so whiny lol

will be saying these for sure;

"heyyy who are you texting?"

"oh you're talking with a boy, okay! — WHAT A BOY????"

"baby you don't love me anymore??!"

"baby are you happier with him?"

"bAbY dOnT LeAve mE:("

please stop the prank and cuddle this babieee! ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡

HI EVERYONEE!!!! It's almost been a week, i am clearing up my requests and I have a post lineups that will be out very soon! I also got addicted creating dividers lmaoo. anyways, thank you for appreciating my works! see ya in few days! ₍ᐢ⸝⸝› ̫ ‹⸝⸝ᐢ₎

[stardustjmk]

hello! I saw that your requests for Greta are open, and I was wondering if I could request something for Jake? I am hard-of-hearing, and I suppose I would love to read something about how that has an impact on Jake and Reader's relationship. If you have any specific questions or anything, just let me know! I can totally help out. I hate to say it but I'd love for it to be a little angsty, like, obviously hearing loss is not a choice and maybe Jake is just like... still upset that Reader can't fully hear things and asks to wear headphones at concerts. I would assume IRL Jake isn't an ignorant jerk like that but maybe for this he's just hurt that he isn't able to fully be heard literally and takes offense that like the headphones make it seem like he is being ignored. Thanks in advance!❤️

Loud and Clear | J.T.K

Summary: In which Jake does his best to be understanding and mindful of his hard of hearing partner, but a particular request upsets him.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x gn!reader | Genre: angst, hurt/comfort Warnings: angst, jake being unintentionally ignorant. | Word count: 2.6k

Note: I am not the best at writing angst, since I crave fluff, but I do hope there’s enough of it to fulfill your expectations 🥹🫶🏻 Thank you for requesting!!

DISCLAIMER: I myself am not hard of hearing, nor do I personally know anyone who is. The last thing I want to do is offend anyone, or anything along those lines. So, in the case that something in this story comes off as offensive, please understand that is not at all my intent. Also please let me know if that is the case, so I do not repeat any mistakes.

There was a point in time where you couldn’t see yourself being anything more than a friend to Jake Kiszka.

When he first showed romantic interest in you, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scare you. After all, you’d been met with numerous challenged relationship, and it was rarely your fault, to put it simply.

That being said, Jake was persistent, unlike any other guy you’d ever had interest in. He showed you, time and time again, that he would take every challenge, and erase it the best he could. Not once did he make you feel bad, or guilty for being hard of hearing, and he certainly didn’t let anyone else make you feel that way either. So, between his persistence, patience, and love, you let yourself fall for him, getting wrapped around his finger.

Jake does his best to learn sign language, along with other means of communicating, but being so busy with making music, doing shows, and all the other tedious tasks of his job, it’s hard find the time to attend classes or do lessons online. Especially given that in order to make that happen, he usually has to sacrifice time with you, or friends, or family.

You know he does his best though, and it shows in the way he speaks to you, which in turn is enough in your book. Not to mention, guys you’d seen before had much more free time on their hands, but never put in the effort to learn, whereas Jake manages to find time no matter how busy he is, all while keeping up his relationship with you.

That’s not to say you don’t have your struggles with him, though.

You can recall a few moments where he’d gotten impatient, trying to explain something to you. One time, he’d waved it off, and even though he explained that it wasn’t because of you, but more so the point he was getting at just stopped being that important to him, it still hurt to be dismissed, when you were trying your hardest to understand. From that moment on, it was very rare for him to be frustrated, but you could sometimes see his shoulders slump or lip twitch. You did your best not to take it personally, and most of the time, he would make up for it whether it be outright apologizing to you for it, or cleaning up his act as soon as it starts - nevertheless, his patience and understanding always outweighs the few occasions where it isn’t so.

All things considered, this might be the worst situation you’ve been in with him.

You hug Jake’s arm as he talks to the boys backstage, the four of them preparing for the show they’ll be playing in a few hours. Jake wears a small, proud smile, evidently excited to finally have you come to a show. The four of them talk to one another, and between looking at their lips, along with the occasional signed words they’d picked up on, you could follow along fairly easily.

Each one of them had learned at least some basic sign language, but Jake had learned the most by far. In fact, when you met his parents for the first time, you were almost shocked by just how much of their words he was able to sign to you. Now, he does the same, and you find yourself with a smile that mirrors his, heart swelling with nothing but love for him.

Your eyes scan the room, and when your gaze lands on a cluster of neatly placed noise-cancelling headphones, you realize that you’d left the ones you brought in Jake’s dressing room. It would likely be easy to go retrieve them, but you’d be lying if you said the “Greta Van Fleet” stickers on the ear muffs didn’t appeal to you.

So, you wander back to the conversation, and wait until a good time to grab Jake’s attention. When it comes, you tap his shoulder gently. He immediately gives you his attention, and you take a moment to admire the smudged liner that beautifully enhances his brown eyes, making your head spin with how good it looks on him.

“Would it be okay if I take a pair of those headphones?” you ask, gesturing to the table, and Jake is quick to nod his head, but it seems he didn’t exactly process it, because as you grab a pair, his brows furrow. “Wait, why do you need them?” He asks. You told him once that your ears are sensitive to loud sounds, but it was months ago, and honestly very brief, so you aren’t upset that he doesn’t remember.

“My ears are sensitive, remember?” you try to jog his memory, and he nods slowly. He does remember, and also recalls reading something about it, possibly back in school, but it still makes his shoulders slump and mood falter. He tries to mentally reason with himself, knowing that you can’t help it, and that he wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, but Jake is known to be stubborn. Anyone who’s close to him knows that and has likely experienced it at least once.

You try to shake off the guilt that bubbles in your stomach - it’s not your fault.

However, as time passes, instead of getting over it, Jake only seems to grown more frustrated with you. It makes your heart ache, to think back on when you first met him. Even though he’s just as sweet now as he was then, a part of you thinks that he wouldn’t react like this if you went back in time and found yourself in this situation.

By the time you gather the courage to confront him, it’s not exactly a convenient time. The opening band is set to be going on in just a few minutes, and you should be making your way to your seat, but you decide it can wait. “Why are you mad at me?” You ask suddenly. You’d been watching Jake make his last adjustments to his makeup, outfit, and guitar (at least, the ones he could do backstage), and it was silent the whole time. You could feel how upset he was, and in a way, it made you mad, which is what made you ask.

“I’m not mad at you,” Jake says, not even bothering to look at you, when normally he’d be fully focused on you, knowing it makes it easier for the both of you. It’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want to talk, and your stomach turns. You’d never experienced this with Jake - shit, you could barely imagine experiencing this with him, given how he’s acted thus far.

A part of you starts to freak out, as this has happened before, in other relationships. Things go well, then something happens, you get blamed - even though it isn’t your fault - and then they break things off. Is Jake going to break up with me? you think to yourself, suddenly dreading the trip to your seat, and the hours following where you’re going to be expected to be happy.

“You are mad,” you say, a little more stern this time. He still refuses to look at you, and you feel a lump forming in your throat. “Jake,” you say, almost certain that your voice is shaky. He finally looks at you. “I just…” he sighs, “The music means so much to me, and the thought of you not hearing it is upsetting,” he explains. You watch his lips as he talks, eyes flickering between them and his hands as he tries to sign it. It’s slightly relieving, knowing that he’s not so mad as to completely give up communication, but there’s still a weight on your shoulders.

Before you can say anything, the boys are being rounded up, and Jake gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “My mom will help you to your seat,” is the last thing he says before heading off with the other boys, making your heart sink. Your lip trembles, and tears well in your eyes, but you force them away. With shaky hands, you grab your headphones and soon meet with Karen, finding your way to your seat.

Despite the lingering sadness in regards to your predicament with Jake, you do your best to enjoy the show.

The lights turn back on, the boys disappear, and the once screaming crowd now evolves into chatter throughout the arena. Karen has been nothing but sweet to you, and as you both head back stage, she links her arm with yours. You’re coming up on a year of being with Jake, and at this point, you’re close enough with his mom that resting your head on her shoulder as you walk isn’t a big deal to either of you. In fact, she presses a kiss to your head, making a small smile form on your lips.

You aren’t sure what to do when you see Jake, so you hesitantly walk towards him, standing awkwardly to the side as he talks to one of the tech guys. As their conversation comes to an end, Jake turns to you. It’s clear that he also isn’t sure what to do, but he chooses to take your hand in his, gently guiding you back to his dressing room.

He seems gentler now, which is relieving, but you’re still worked up about the whole situation, and you’re sure it’s still on his mind as well. You take a seat on the small leather couch that’s in his dressing room, occasionally glancing at him as he changed out of his sweaty suit, and into a pair of old jeans, and one of his beloved button ups. Since it’s a Nashville show, you assume he’ll worry about a shower when he gets home.

He turns to you and walks towards you, eyes locking with yours. You’re not sure what to expect. He lifts a hand and brushes his knuckles against your cheek before cupping it. It’s a silent apology, that, and the way the look in his eyes begs for forgiveness. “We can talk about it later, okay? I don’t want to brush anything off, but I also have to-“ “I know, Jakey,” you stop him, turning your head to peck his palm, before standing up. “Do what you have to do,” you tell him, grabbing your headphones off the couch arm where you’d rested them, as well as making sure to grab the ones you’d brought. You kiss his cheek then walk to the door, opening it as to press your previous statement.

You aren’t sure exactly how long it is before Jake is done, but you do your best to wait patiently. You talk to the other boys, to his mom again, and eventually just linger around Jake himself, trying not to get in the way as he does what he can to help get things packed up.

After some time, everyone finishes up, and you’re back to where you were earlier, with your arm wrapped around Jake’s as you leave the arena. You say goodbye to the boys, along with Jake’s mom, then head your separate ways. The walk to his car is quiet, and you can only assume he’s also thinking about what to say, and what’s going to be said when you talk. He opens the passenger door for you, shutting it gently once you’re settled, then heads to the drivers side.

He waits to start the car, and instead looks at you. You figure he wants to go ahead and talk, and you ultimately decide sooner is better than later. “You said that I can’t hear you, and that upsets you,” you remind him of his words, giving him a chance to correct you, or add onto it, but he just nods. You look at him, and the look on his face reads that of guilt, but also a hint of his own frustration is mixed in with it. His silence gives you the floor to speak, but you can tell he’s worried.

You reach over the console and take one of his hands in yours, then use the other to gently direct his face towards you. His eyes meet yours, and you offer a half smile. “I do hear you, Jake,” you start. “Maybe I can’t listen to it the way you do, or the way your fans do, but I hear it, Jake. I see it, too…I feel it. I feel the drums, I feel the vibrations your amps, I see the way you react, the way the crowd reacts- Jake, I hear you loud and clear,” you conclude, and you can tell that it hit him particularly hard, with the way he sighs shakily and squeezes your hand.

He nods, processing your words, then waits for you to continue. When you stay quiet, he takes over, “Talk to me, please. I know you’re hurt and I just- I want to fix it, so please talk to me,” he says, taking over the role of assurance and comfort. “I just need you to hear me too, Jake,” you say, sighing softly. “I love you so much, and the idea of you being frustrated with me over this…it just hurts, you know? I didn’t ask for it,” you explain. You aren’t attacking him, or even trying to make him feel bad, and he knows it, so he lets you vent, without interrupting. “I know, and,” he pauses, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before laying it on his lap. He uses his hands to sign as he talks. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that,” he says, and the way you can see the wheels in his head spinning extra fast, trying to make sure he doesn’t mess up, makes you crack the faintest smile.

“I love you too, and I promise that this won’t happen again, okay?” he says, and you nod, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. He kisses you back, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. You practically melt into him, the way he’s so delicate and passionate all at once making you crumble. When you pull away, he’s wearing a grin. “Now, you’re more than allowed to decline…but I think maybe we need a do-over, if you want to come to one of the next shows,” he suggests, and much to his excitement, you do agree.

When the next show rolls around, Jake gifts you a pair of noise-canceling headphones. You open the mix to find a pair of bedazzled ones, black rhinestones making up the majority of them, with “Greta Van Fleet” spelled out in carefully placed silver rhinestones. “The rhinestones were Josh’s idea, weren’t they?” you ask, making him let out a genuine laugh. “You bet it was Josh’s idea.”

This time around, things go a lot smoother, and Jake makes sure to look extra hard for you in the crowd. The smile on your face, the bedazzled headphones - which you eventually found had your initials embroidered on the underside of the headband part, along with “all my love” in jake’s handwriting - which he comes to absolutely adore, the way you’d dressed up for the show, all of it makes him fall even more in love with you. Not to mention, he watches you for longer than he might should, but it’s worth it to see you enjoying yourself, and that’s when he realizes that you do hear him, loud and clear.

[candywife333]

Delulu is the Solulu

PART 1- Hairy Big Toe

AND PART 1 is finally out. Planning 2-3 parts for this.

Chubby OC (with PCOS) x simp idol Jungkook

No proofreading done

Summary: Our OC (Lee Ireum) loves Jungkook of BTS to pieces. She loves him through the distance of her screen and in fact is one of his avid fan club members. She is running for president of the ARMY fan club in her home town. But, she has a peculiarity about her, that even her fellow members in arms don't know about her. She never wants to meet them. She never wants to meet BTS, and she especially never wants to meet Jungkook. She believes in never meeting your heroes because they will end up disappointing you, eventually. To hold up this ideal, she has never been to their in person events. However, though she has never been to a fan meet ,she is supposed to attend one the coming week (at the blackmailing insistence of one of her friends). Yet, she had started to text a dude through a popular dating app around the same time all of this was happening.

It had started out as a prank, this dating profile. She would post sexy pics , have amusing chats with thirsty dudes, and then block them for the shits and giggles. Living the true online play girl life, something she would never do in real life cause of insecurities. The odd thing with the dude she is texting though is that the time stamps of the texts are not showing up in Korean time, it almost seemed like Eastern standard time. And the odder thing was that closer to her fan meet date, the time stamps changed back to korean standard time. The question was, who exactly was she chatting with?

Description : This fic will be written with chat messages in between (dilineated by bullets), alternating with the usual writing.

Disclaimer: The character of Jungkook in this fic is not a true representation of his real life actions or personality. Please treat this is fiction.

Triggers: voyeurism, dub-conish , body insecurity (chubby hairy OC incoming)

I opened up my phone to see the recent chats I had received from the new dating app I signed up for a week back. Damn, so many requests within a few hours from when I finished updating my blank profile with pics of myself (of course since it is just a thirst trap account without my face) which were just way too scandalous for real life. I opened up the first chat that I received.

bunnyboy7- Show me your tits🤤

The hell, guys were that straightforward? I thought I would at least get a little segue and introduction, luring me in, before being asked for my literal boobs in a pic.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? Sir this is a Wendy's drive through👵.

bunnyboy7- Then, at least show me your ass🍑

Damn, this dude was way too relentless. I didn't even show a hint of cleavage in my actual pics on the dating profile to signal that I might be open to showing anybody anything. How did this random guy, think he had the honor of seeing first my tits? and then my bare ass? I guess dude didn't yet know that I had a hairy ass. Even monkeys would be envious. I even had a few hairs on my tits. I grew chest hair before guys in my class did. Even had upper lip hair to match. Had to get that little bitch ripped off my face every Sunday with my handy dandy waxing pot, otherwise I would be sporting a rather impressive moustache most of the time. Dude, didn't know what he was even asking for.

strawcakes4- I think you have the wrong number Sir Bunny

bunnyboy7- Trust me baby, you won't regret me.

strawcakes4- What are you going to say next? champagne confetti? too predictable dude. You think you are JK or something🤨?

bunnyboy7- In fact yes I do, my fair lady. (5:00 AM EST)

strawcakes4- They say the world is made up of mostly sane poeple. I am beginning to doubt this claim. Delulu is not the solulu my friend. 😌No matter how much you and I both wish you were JK, that is not reality.

bunnyboy7- Ok, well how about you assume I am JK and why don't you show your favorite , cutest global pop-star your bellybutton then? Ask not what your JK can do for you, but what you can do for your JK. It is for a noble cause.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? how desperate are you dude? We progressed from ass, to tits, to belly button? You have a fetish or something? And now you claim to be JK---THE SHEER AUDACITY?! JK would be too busy earning millions ,performing at times square, eating noodles drenched in perilla oil, hanging out with calvin klein models. He would not be sitting here looking so pathetic.

bunnyboy7- Sometimes stars have needs too. Ok!? We don't have models gyrating 10 feet away from us all the time, contrary to popular opinion. And sometimes we do our own laundry. Is that so hard for you to fucking believe?!

What were the odds of this guy actually being jungkook? He was probably a troll or delusional fanboy who thought he was JK. He sure was putting in a lot of effort to convince me though. Rolling my eyes, I scrolled further down to reply:

strawcakes4- clutching my forehead in disbelief you need to get over yourself dude. If you are Jungkook, I am bloody britney spears. I am not sending nudes or sexting you. OFF to HORNY JAIL WITH YOU, YOUNG MAN!! 🔥If you were truly JK, you wouldn't be begging, you would already be receiving. bunnyboy7- Fine, fine fine, if you can't send me nudes or sext with me, let's play a game of 20 questions.

strawcakes4- Ok?

bunnyboy7- What does your pussy look like? describe it in no less than 20 words. Your timer starts now😉

This dude had balls of steel, he even wanted a pussy description. He would probably run for the hills if he actually saw my furry snatch in person. Chewing on my lip, deliberating my next response, I typed out:

strawcakes4- Ok, "JK", I think …………….I have contracted syphilis from my step father in Transylvania and I am about to die. So………….I am leaving the chat…………….to go get it treated.

bunnyboy7- Don't lie to me like that strawbaby!!! Don't you dare leave this chat.

------Strawcakes4 has left the chat

bunnyboy7- Goddamnit. Ok forget about pussy. At least show bobs.🤤 (5:10 AM EST)

bunnyboy7- Fuck, I came on to her way too hard I guess

Giggling and kicking my feet as I lay on my bed, I chuckled, sounding like a pig snorting in the process. At least he figured out, that he was coming on to me way too hard and way too inappropriately.

I sat there contemplating whether I should delete his chat log and block him. I usually did that after 2-3 interactions with particularly horny dudes, or even after 1 interaction with really annoying clingy guys. Here for a good time, not a long time fellas. I was literally baffled when some of them were using me for therapy sessions. Like, why should I do so much unpaid work?! Like hell I was wasting my time talking to these dudes constantly .

I didn't mind flirting, bantering and eventually sharing pics after building a rapport (not like I kept them for long in my dms either way). But the way this dude had come on so strong was perplexing and rather irritating. I had come across this type of behavior from many other dudes. But he was the first one to not even say Hi. Usually the other dudes had decency to atleast greet her and then start their lewd demands. Pathetic buffoon.

I flopped onto my back, sighing over the fact that I would have to attend that fan meet in a few days. I did not want to meet any of the members of BTS. The only idols I had an intention of meeting in my life were MAMAMOO. I loved their vibe and would feel comfortable in their presence. My main reason for wanting to meet was also so I could ask Hwasa to step on my face with her high heels. The lady was a divine goddess. Sometimes I just wished I was lesbian, because so many things would be easier. Finding men attractive, was a curse.

Running for president of our BTS fanclub in our hometown was a feat. You can only print out so many posters of Jimin's luscious lips, and Jin's windswept perfectly tousled hair, before you get tired of seeing them. Somedays I got so tired of doing BTS related activities, like chaperoning younger armys to attend their music shows and meets in Korea. It was fine when I was a younger teen in middle school, but as a college junior it felt taxing at times.

I had seen the members from afar but never went to actual fan meets where you could interact or talk to them. Convinced it would lead to disillusionment at their carefully manufactured images and heartache, I rejected attending those type of meets. My baby members always pushed me attend, wanting me as a chaperone so their parents would feel comfortable with them attending. I just couldn't though, and they would stare back at me with their puppy dog eyes disheartened at my refusal. But, something about my attitude as a fan had changed. I still loved them to the moon and back, but I guess it was getting tiring.

I had different priorities I guess, like getting a new job with the marketing degree I was to graduate with next year. I groaned at the prospect of finding a place to live next year. My dorm room would be gone and I would have to look for a flat since mom and dad lived in the countryside.

Two days later, I was met with another stream of texts from the same person, bunnyboy7. Why in the fucking hell was he bothering me now? Especially with the dreaded fan meet I had to attend in a few days. Armies looked out for each other, and the main reason for me to attend wasn't honestly even about running for president. It was the responsibility of looking after the young, impressionable minds that would be attending. Had to make sure they didn't get hurt in a crowd, or break down. You would be surprised how many people tended to cry a river and lose their bloody mind when seeing their favorite idols.

I opened the chat log:

bunnyboy7- you there angel? my beautiful goddess? temptress of my dreams, or shall I say tittytress of my fantasies😏😏

I scoffed as I stared at the screen, what the hell was he on? weed? nicotine? You would think one rejection would be enough to get my point across, to convey my distaste.

strawcake4- Ummmmm. Why are you still talking to me dude? I am not interested in sexting or nudes. Leave me alone, I am way too busy for this right now

bunnyboy7- I have been fisting myself everyday to the pic you posted of yourself in a see through black babydoll dress with your tits drooping down , perfect size for my hands to squeeze. I almost came as I could see your thick thighs, just the right size to have wrapped around my neck as I lick your juicy little pussy😜 Please at least take pity on a poor man and post a feet pic. (7:00 AM KST)

strawcake4- Ok dude, this convo has prolonged far enough. If you have a boner, I will deflate it in two seconds flat, that's all I need. My toes are hairy, my tummy is hairy, my legs are ......you guessed it hairy and so is the rest of my body. I look like a cross between a chubby baboon and a chimpanzee. Now , unless you are into bestiality, you won't want to engage further with me. Leave me the fuck alone.

I expected no response from him, confident in my abilities to turn off men. The dude would have deleted the chat by now. Checking out of sheer curiosity, I was shocked, gasping as sweat beaded on my hairline, at his reply:

bunnyboy7- It's ok baby, we can just shave it all off if it bothers you, no biggie. 😋But I like my pussies hairy , a whole jungle, so don't worry in the least. And I can tell just from your pics, that I would drown in your pussy and never come up for air. It would be a glorious way to go, don't you think darling 🤓

I was breathless as I stared at his text, what the hell did he mean? He didn't mind all the body hair and my fat little self?

strawcake4- stop messing around dude, you are just lying. Now let us just end the convo, you are fooling nobody.

bunnyboy7- Who said I was lying baby😏. Just send one pic of your choosing of your body. And I will prove it to you. (7: 05 AM KST)

I shouldn't be doing this. But my fingers moved to my photo gallery and I picked out one pic I had taken in dim light of my tits and tummy, intact with strawberry red lingerie that showed hints of fine downy hair here and there. He would probably be turned off and we could end this interaction. I paused several minutes, indecisive about sending the pic.

bunnyboy7- You still there babe? please babygirl, I am salivating at the thought of you. Send a pic, any pick. The mere thought of you is keeping me on the verge of cumming. (7: 10 AM KST )

I took a deep breath, not dragging the pic through my editing app, and clicked SEND, closing my eyes at the thought of what I had just done, wincing a little. I peeked at the screen with one eye open, he was typing. I almost jolted up towards the ceiling as I saw what he had written, my panties getting damp involuntarily.

bunnyboy7- OMG BABY🤤🤤I can't handle all your beauty. The perfect tits, tipped with chocolate brown areolas. I could just bite into them. And that gorgeous collection of pudge around your belly, your skin and flesh looks so soft. I can't believe I am saying this but........I would even lick your armpits and your asshole if you would let me. Totally my dream girl. I am cumming, oh ma god , I can't hold back anymore.

Before, I could reread his text, I received a pic. WTF!!!! My soul almost left my body, it was a pic of cum all squirted out , translucent and stringy onto his plain white sheets.

bunnyboy7- A tribute to you my luscious goddess. If only I could see you in motion, in 3D babe, to truly worship you. (7: 15 KST)

Something in my brain started tugging at me as I sat there on my bed stunned at all his proclamations of lust. Wait, when did his time zone change from EST to KST??? Didn't Jungkook just come back to Korea a few days back? It definitely couldn't be him , right ? We already had a joking convo about that. What type of reverse psychology was he using, if it was actually him?

I was about to dismiss the thought from my head when I saw his cum pic. Wait, I had seen that tattoo somewhere. His pic had part of his hand in the frame. If you weren't an army who had hung up his posters all of your school, you might not have a clue. But, the M on one of his knuckes, was a big give away. I still found it hard to believe even with the evidence. Why would Jungkook of BTS, the beloved, hot and happening global popstar, be texting me? And what had become of my vow never to interact with them?

Had I actually just now talked to Jungkook? And seen his cum sprayed all over his sheets? and had him simping over hairy little, big foot me? Since when did people like me talk with people like them?

[tayloralisonswift]

i saw your post from like 15 minutes ago and i wanted to ask, are you comfortable with people online asking about your experiences with bipolar/mental health in general? usually i'm too afraid to ask about sensitive subjects, but i guess if i ask then it's totally your choice whether or not to answer

and if you're comfortable, what is your current experience like? what info would you tell someone who wants to be a better friend to you?

rooting for you and sending love always <3

hi love! this is a VERY long post, apologies in advance and thank you for asking.

you said it perfectly, because yes i am comfortable answering questions (part of my post last night was encouraging it), but also if i'm ever not comfortable with a question i can choose not to answer. if asked kindly/in good faith, i don't see anything wrong with a person asking. it means a lot that someone cares enough to ask!

disclaimer: this is my experience with my bipolar. other people will have other experiences, and you can ask them!

so i have this fun form of bipolar called "rapid cycling", and i am currently cycling faster than my psychiatrist is used to seeing (i got a good grade in bipolar, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.) rapid cycling involves undulating between states (you've got mania, depression, stasis/stability, and mixed states - which are what they sound like, a mixture of depressive and manic symptoms.) because i'm currently in the midst of med changes that won't take effect for at least another month, my mood disorder is pretty much on its own to fend for itself, and like i said, it's cycling quickly right now. usually, like in the past two years, i'll cycle like a month or two depressed, a week or two days stable, three to four weeks manic, repeat. right now it's like, three days of mania one week of depression three days of mania, repeat. this is very hard to manage because i have to try and take care of myself with very little preparation for dips or highs.

for me, depressive episodes look like physical exhaustion (i take multiple naps throughout the day and need to go back to bed within an hour or two of being awake), ruminating about self loathing, and i get this fog where like, it's hard to smile. and even if in my head i'm smiling it's hard to get it to happen on my face. (like the other night, my mom was doing silly dances to try to and make me smile and i just. couldn't do it for a solid 20 minutes.) when i'm very low, this happens on steroids and it's hard to move my body even as i'm yelling at it to in my head. i usually just lay on the floor most of those days.

my manic episodes look like spendingspendingspending. i won't give the amount, but when i told my new psychiatrist about the most i've ever spent in one week, she said, "that's mania if i've ever heard of it". (i got another good grade in having bipolar, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve!) mania also involves lots of fast movement. my body has to be moving at all times. even more so, my mouth has to be moving at all times. i talk very, very quickly, and very, very extensively. my family members have to warn me that i'm talking so fast they don't understand what i'm saying. but my thoughts are going at the speed of light so i gotta relay them that quickly. mania looks like lots of risky and self destructive behaviors - excessive drinking, smoking, risky sex - all of those can be mania. a manic episode is not just one 'bad' or impulsive decision, and it's not happy. i also decide i'm going to do a bunch of big huge things in a short amount of time - if i ever say "ok i'm FINALLY writing a poetry book and i'm doing it this week" honestly i'm manic.

a mixed episode is the most dangerous, and it's the one doctors are most concerned about, because you have the energy and motivation to do something and you have the depressive thoughts that tell you to do something bad. this is where ideation thrives. it's very scary to be in that.

and i want to emphasize that, for me at least, i can often figure out when i'm in one of these episodes. it takes work but most of us are self aware enough to recognize it. that doesn't make an episode less powerful, but we aren't infants who don't understand our disorder.

i think the most important thing you can do for a friend with bipolar is ask them about their experience and listen. everyone is different - this is just my experience, and really the only thing you'll find that sums up all of our experiences is the DSM5 (and even that can be lacking in nuance) - and everyone needs different things. right now, the depressive moments are much stronger than the other ones, and things like reassurance and reminders that people care really help me (like this ask!) when i'm manic, a loving "slow down" does help me.

i know this was super long but like i said last night, no one ever asks. so i really appreciate you asking and giving me the space to answer. <3 <3 <3 <3

[iloveyou-writers]

~~Tips On~~ Making Friends [Online]

Making friends serves to be something so many struggle with. Whether it be social anxiety, shyness, introversion, or just generally not enjoying the act of reaching out to others, there are a lot of obstacles that can hold us back from being able to make the connections possible for making true and lasting friendships.

Below, I will list some things that have worked for me, as someone with social anxiety and issues with keeping in touch with people I've connected with.

**Disclaimer: these will not work for everyone and this is not an exhaustive list of all the ways you can make/maintain new friendships online.

Tip #1: Think about how much you love to be reached out to. I know it can be easy to fall into the mindset of "I don't want to annoy them," but even big bloggers that receive hundreds of asks a day usually still love receiving them. Yes, sometimes answering all those asks can feel like a chore, but it is better than getting no engagement. Receiving correspondence from those that follow you is exciting and it lets you know that your [writing, art, whatever] reached an audience that cares enough to speak up, which can be super encouraging, even if you reaching out is more social than commenting directly on whatever they make.

Tip #2: Remember that the other person is human too. If they don't respond right away, remember they have a life offline as well as the one here. They may be at work or school. They may be sleeping or having a meal. They may be grocery shopping. They have a life outside the internet, so patience is key to maintaining a healthy relationship with someone online (or really anywhere).

Tip #3: Communication is such an important thing, no matter what the relationship. Letting someone know that you're interested in building a friendship can let them know what your intentions are, if you're just casually striking up conversation or if you actually want a lasting friendship where they will hear from you time and again.

Tip #4: Showing interest in their passions is SUCH A HUGE WAY to make friends. They're part of a fandom you've never heard of? Ask them about it! They're starting a new project that you're curious about? Ask them about it! They started talking about a person they're starting to have interest in? Encourage them in it! Showing that you have interest in their passions can be such a great way to connect and bond with another person.

Tip #5: Showing that you care in hard times is a very fast way to bond with someone. When someone talks about a rough time they're having, instead of having a "what does this have to do with me" attitude, and instead reaching out and simply saying "I hope you feel better soon" can make such a difference in some circumstances. You don't even have to say anything more than just showing sympathy and that you care about what they're going through. Not everyone feels sympathy or empathy, and this is by not means a requirement to make lasting and meaningful relationships, so please don't feel like I'm saying that anyone that doesn't do this isn't a good friend, as that certainly is not the case.

Tip #6: Reaching out - even anonymously - and showing an interest in them can be great! Ask them about their day or their favorites. When they post ask games, send in asks for it, even if silly. Give yourself a cute little nickname or emoji sign off so they know it's you when you come into their inbox and you can build a bond, even while you're anonymous. Eventually, you may feel confident enough to come off anon.

Basically, what a friendship boils down to is genuine care and bonding with another person. You can do that in whatever way fits your love language, that you feel you can make that connection, but these are just a few of the ways I have done it.

Thank you to the anonymous asker that sent me an ask on @writeblrsvoid asking about this. I hope this post helps you.

[anaslair]

haiii! i saw your matchups so i wanted to see who you think i’d be good with!

according to online quizzes my godly parent is Dionysus (which is fair). I’m transmasc (they/he) and i don’t really have a dating preference, anyone is fine! Uh i really like to draw/write and i love photography, if you dropped me off in the woods i would entertain myself for hours and come back with millions of photos- I get really bad anxiety over social things, i struggle to order my own food or ask for things. When i worry i get bad stomach aches and sort of shut down during the day. Uhmmmmm I’m an INFJ if that helps! i despise medical offices (the dentist or the doctors) and i cannot stand needles- i will do anything and everything to get out of getting my flu shot. music is one of the most important things to me, i love physical CDs and i love making playlists on spotify for every possible mood i could be in. and finally i am 18, so aged up characters or older characters for sure!

LISTEN!! I was caught up between two people for you🫵👁️👁️ but after meticulously thinking about it, I hope you like who I ended up going with :)

For some matchups I love doing little drabbles or scenarios like this, I just cOULDNT RESIST with this one pls this was so fun to write. I hope you enjoy it anon🫶

Tysm for requesting!! Have a great day <3

I match you with…

Will Solace!!

-Disclaimer-

All of the characters were aged up to meet with the requester’s age so I could choose from all of them!!

Things had finally quieted down on camp half blood’s infirmary after the whole fighting Gaea incident

On a span of a month, the injured were all properly taken care of, which meant the worst thing Will had to deal with all day was an arrow removal from someone’s ass after the latest game of capture the flag

Usual stuff

He was honestly about to check if one of the Stoll brothers could steal him some snacks to pass the time when he heard screaming from outside the front door

Welp

So much for no work☹️

Checking the window, he saw someone- no wait. It was two people, one of them definitely being the head counselor of the Dionysus cabin, and the other a very freaked out brother of theirs

Oh this was gonna be good

Opening the door, he crossed his arms as he caught the end of the discussion the siblings were having

“…swear by the gods I’ll NEVER catch the flu, I can PROMISE you that” You pleaded to your sibling and counselor

“How can you promise not to get sick? Quit the bs and get the damn shot already, you’re the only one in the cabin who hasn’t and I swear by our father’s name that if someone gets sick because of you and your fear of needles you’re going down” Your sibling threatened as they pushed you up the few steps of the infirmary’s entrance

“No wait WAIT- I’ll do anything you want, I’ll clean the whole cabin by myself before inspection” you begged

“Not if you get sick you won’t” your sibling said

“What if I swear by the river Styx I won’t get sick?” You asked

“Are you actually insane-“ Your sibling asked

“I swear by the river Sty-“ you interrupted

“Hey, okay. Let’s stop that before you get yourself fried up over a cold” Will interrupted you this time, probably saving you from the never ending pain of breaking an oath made by the river Styx

Honestly, that actually sounded better than getting the gods damned flu shot. You weren’t kidding when you told your sibling you couldn’t do needles, you felt like throwing up

“Special delivery for ya Will, Good luck!” Your sibling yelled as they betrayed you, power walking back to y’alls cabin

Leaving a slightly shaken you with a very amused Will

Inside the infirmary, your leg bounced up and down high speed as you sat on Will’s office, waiting for him to bring back something for your stomach which was already very upset with the stress the whole situation was causing you

“Here, a sip should do the trick” Will said as he gave you a small cup of nectar, which lessened your discomfort considerably

“Thanks” you muttered, still very much anxious

“Look, I’m not going to do it against your will, but I could make it practically painless. What do you say?” Will asked, looking for some supplies

“If I gave you like, three whole dracmas, would you tell my counselor I got the shot?” You quickly asked

“What?”

“Make it four, no- five! It’s all I have on me right now-“

“Look- just, let’s just breathe a little alright? I’m not taking that weak ass bribe. That wouldn’t even get me a ride on the Gray sisters taxi, pipe down” Will finished

You scoffed out an incredulous laugh, seemed like you weren’t getting out of this one

“How about some music?” Will suddenly asked as he eyed the portable CD player you were carrying

Demigods weren’t allowed to use a phone since it was practically a monster magnet, but you didn’t mind it much seeing as you absolutely loved collecting Physical CDs of your favorite artists and bands. If you had music, you were good

You nodded, maybe that would help

Will opened a cabinet which you thought was probably packed up with medical supplies

To your surprise, it was actually completely filled with CDs and vinil records, a full on collection on display

Will was Apollo’s son after all, music was a big deal for him too. Being the best healer of the Apollo cabin made him spend a lot of time in the infirmary, so music definitely helped him get through the day

Your eyes were practically shining as you stared at the cabinet. Will seemed to be looking for something specific in it

“Here! This is my favorite-“ Will said as he took a CD out of his collection, handing it to you

“Oh what the fuck” you interrupted, taking your cd player out and pressing a button to open it, showing Will what was inside

The exact same CD Will was holding out, from the exact same band

You both smiled at each other

That was the start of HOURS of conversation, y’all only sat back down when Will had showed you everything he had on that cabinet

The conversation was so fluid that you guys ended up talking about a lot of things, getting to know each other, finding out you had more in common than you thought

Will was very appreciative of the arts in general, being an Apollo kid, it came naturally to him

Just as you were talking about your photography obsession, you both heard a few knocks at the main infirmary entrance

“Will? Uh- you guys alright in there? Did it go well?” Your head counselor inquired hesitantly

“Shit”

You and Will eyed each other, your eyes wide

Will checked the time, you had only a a few minutes before the harpies would end anybody that was out of their cabins

You both had absolutely lost track of time

And weirdly, you didnt seem to mind

“Okay, we can do this. I’ll give you the shot now okay? I’m just going to let your sibling know, I’ll be right back” Will said as he quickly made his way to the main entrance

Okay maybe now you did mind it a little bit

And that’s how you ended up with your eyes tightly shut, sweating an abnormal amount while Will applied some rubbing alcohol where he was going to stab you apply the shot

“Hey, I swear you won’t feel a thing if you give me those dracmas you promised” Will tried to lighten the mood

You didn’t respond, heart beating fast, nerves about to explode

Then you felt a warm hand in your arm

“Hey, it’s alright”

You opened your eyes to see Will’s directly in front of yours

He had lowered himself so he was at your eye level. And he was close, really close

“You’re going to be alright.” His tone was lower, softer

“Here” He put the earphones of your CD player into your ears

As your favorite song started playing loudly in your ears, Will smiled, mouthing a “Trust me”

He got up, directing himself to our side to apply the shot

Your hand tightened around the chair’s handle, you were still nervous, but way less then before

But your heart was still beating fast. Strange.

“So, on three?” You asked Will

“Already done” Will said, cleaning your arm up

What

You looked up at him, absolutely baffled

Being a son of the god of healing really had its perks

“Told you it wouldn’t hurt” He smiled, winking while at it

And there it was again, your heart beating just a little bit faster

You were still silently watching him, your eyebrows raised high

“So, you said you liked to take pictures right? The strawberry field is insane in the morning” Will started as he threw the syringe he used on you away

“Want me to show you a nice spot tomorrow?” He asked, eyeing you with a small smile

“Ah- yeah, sure” you blurted out

“Okay then, it’s a date”

[johnslittlespoon]

I love your bucky is dog fic so much!!! I reread it all the time it's so heart-warming and funny and just ahhh so good!! refreshing ao3 patiently and excitingly waiting for more<33

(a BIG mix of non–brainrot asks so i don't spam the timeline <33 some of these are from so long ago i'm so sorry. also lil disclaimer at the end about some specific asks i've been getting recently and why i won't be answering them! x)

1) !!?? you REREAD IT?? my heart wtf that's so sweet??? 😭💗 THANK U SM i will do my best to not let u down with future chapters even if shit gets a little bit angstier SDJKG <33

2) LMAO backseat gala–ing from the comfort of a couch 😭 judging the outfits as if they don't show up in plain tuxes half the time <3

3) <3333 thank u omg sjgkdk i'm so happy if my lack of stfu ability brings any bit of joy to anyone LOL

4) ILY THX LEGEND @air-exec u enable me too much <33

5) ALWAYS HAPPY TO INDULGE!! thank u for indulging my constantly rotting brain ur so kind 😭 <333

6) yaurrr i think it's just bc i do Not enjoy being around children LMAO i can't ever get into pregnancy/family dynamic type fics in general, i wish i could tho bc they're so wholesome :') but YEAH exactly ugh. it's like. the action of talking about it, especially when it's unattainable, is so intimate bc it's like an "i love you this much" thing. but it's also so hot bc the possession of it (and possible feminization depending on the pairing) sighhh

also i feel that sooo hard, sometimes you just gotta go where ur writing heart takes u yk? it's hard to write something if ur not fully invested :') and omg stop i WILL cry. 😭💗 wtf. thank YOU!! ofc i would read!! some ideas just /hit/ and urs is one of them <33 but also yes omg it's UP there (if not at the top) on my list of pwps i wanna write once i finish yad(iym) <33 thank you for sharing urs too and sending u good writing vibes regardless of what u write!!

7) GAHH this ones been on my ao3 read later since u sent this ask in!!! i literally have started a doc with links to moots fics i need to read/general fics i've stumbled across that look good and this one is for sure going in it. i do love reading sooo much, i just have the hell combo of adhd and dyslexia but i did start concerta a couple weeks ago which has def made it a bit easier to read lmfao thank fuck.

i think i just get in this headspace where i'm either a reader or a writer when i'm working on smth, idk if anyone else does this? i have a hard time slipping btwn both mindsets, i'm usually locked in on one at a time LOL but i need to get my shit together bc fuck everyone in this fandom writes so damn good and i want to leave long essays on all the fics and hype people up <33 i think once i finish the dog fic i'll take a few days to just consume my reading list to celebrate SJDGK

also omg i can't believe this ask is from before i even posted it that's crazyyy MY BAD. thank u and also that made me giggle JSKDG if that's my legacy in this fandom i'm honestly so happy ab that okay dog coded bucky is everything to me and i will do whatever i can to do him justice <333 and thank u again for the rec!

8) [ X ] UGHHH stop mammal RUINED me. he's soososoo pretty i want to die i think about that barry era as curt in the motaverse so often it makes me sick. i love pretty twinks!! xx (i have a whole motaverse au curtbucky where curt looks like 2012–ish barry and he's ken's age and they're cute lil mechanics together and it's so stupidly elaborate and niche and maybe i'll do smth w it one day who knows)

9) this is very sweet and i do appreciate you respecting my boundaries! thank you <3 i think a lot of people get annoyed at adults asking minors not to interact with nsfw posts on here bc the argument is always "they're gonna look even if you ask them not to" which, yeah, true! i was a teenager growing up online, i sure as hell did not let 18+ warnings stop me ever lmfaoo. i'm not telling minors to stay off my account because ik if people wanna find specific content, they're gonna find it. if teens are learning ab gay sex thru my blog, then at least they're learning ab it from a gay man who tries to keep things realistic in fic and who isn't a creep LOL.

that being said, i more so bar off minors interacting with my nsfw posts/writing bc i personally just feel uncomfortable discussing stuff like that with anyone who isn't an adult, and sometimes i don't have the time to check bios for ages (or sometimes bios don't have ages) before i reply to comments or whatever, so it's just easier to ask that y'all stick to the sfw so i don't accidentally brainrot some cooked shit with a child JSDJKG bc i would feel icky. i hope you understand <3

10) IT MAKES ME SICKKK. not only that, but when i was rewatching it with my irl last week, i realized that in e5 when bucky's smoking in the plane after gale goes down, he's sitting in the right (gale's) seat, which i'm pretty sure he doesn't do at any other time :((( like he was trying to be close to him in anyway he could </3

11) omg i've been meaning to watch that just to get a better inside look at stuff for world building purposes lmaooo but that sounds so wholesome :( i read that a lot of the guys would get real sad/touchy around holidays (obviously), so i could see a oneshot where one of them takes it upon themselves to try and cheer everyone up the best they can under their circumstances. a little found family holiday </33

12) thank u for the rec!! i'm suuuch a slow reader, i'm still working my way thru the actual mota book LOL but i've added this to my reading list <3 i think i might've actually read a couple excerpts from that one in doing research for my fic and it looks really interesting (and heartbreaking) so i'm sure i'll pick up a copy eventually :^)

13) oh 100% agree!! as someone who already isn't super interested in fashion/pop–culture, i find it very hard to look at the men's outfits and be blown away by any of them LOL but the women?? insane. was losing it over lana and zendaya's fits tonight ngl. hunter had me in a chokehold with last year's <3 tangent alright i always say this to my friends but i'm just jealous in general that women have so many more options in terms of clothes like.

okay listen i know i can leave my house in a skirt or crop top or whatever and a lot more guys are def starting to feel comfortable doing so. but i also enjoy not worrying about getting jumped or looked at funny! it's a lot safer than it used to be to do so, even in my small ass conservative town i'll sometimes put on some dangly earrings or a bit of rodrick–liner SJKDG but that doesn't mean it's normalized yet or whatever. point being that i wish it was because men's outfits would be sm more exciting at these fashion events if they had a wider range of options too!

but that aside, absolutely. until that changes, really it's not that hard for the men who are going with women (who don't want to go crazy with their outfits/who are more lowkey like you said) to just. wear something nice and on theme that compliments their partner's outfit and they'll be FINE. anything is better than something boring with no effort; effort doesn't have to equal crazy and fancy and elaborate. like austin's 2022 look has always been a standout to me because it was still a really nice look (even if it was simple) and it also worked so well because of who he had at his side. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i also literally don't know shit ab fashion so i rly shouldn't be speaking on it LOL. i just know some things make me go oh no and some make me go YUM

and that's probs the last i'll post about the met bc i rly don't care thaaaat much, i was just happy to see barry since he wasn't at the panel this weekend <3

OKAY THAT WAS SO MUCH I'M SORRY. i just felt really bad bc some of those have been sitting in my inbox for months bc i was waiting to compile them all into a post like this :-) but also one last thing, idk if it's bc of me stepping out of mota to talk ab the emmy stuff/the met this week, but i've had a couple gossip/drama(?) asks and i just wanna say rn that i won't be posting stuff like that, even though they've been worded kindly! one, because i rly only post about fic/brainrot/mota–fandom related stuff here (aside from rare exceptions like today lol). and two, because as much as i adore our boys and try to keep up with the things they're up to, i personally don't vibe with speculating about them (esp if it's in a way that kinda. forgets they are grown men who probably don't think twice ab some of the stuff that people think they do lolol). i have no issue with people who do like to talk ab that stuff, i follow update blogs and think it's totally fine as long as it's done respectfully! i just don't feel like talking about gossip fits the vibe here and frankly i don't care enough about what goes on behind the scenes half the time; i'm just here to create and support and be insane. <33 that's all, just wanted to say that so ppl aren't waiting to have those asks answered/aren't sending more in! x

[gunilslaugh]

could you write a fic about jiseok falling in love with an online gaming buddy? specifically if they’re a healer main 👀

Just a little disclaimer I tried my best with this request, but I am no gamer and have very little gaming knowledge, so if there are any inaccuracies I apologize. That being said I hope I still wrote this where it's enjoyable to read.

Kwak Jiseok

Summary:Jiseok comes to the realization that maybe it’s not so much the game he likes, but who he’s playing it with.

WC:~1.2k

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Jiseok was on a quest to find a hobby. Something to that he would enjoy spending his free time doing. Jooyeon recommended that he try out online gaming. Jooyeon helped Jiseok download the game, set up an account and then showed him the ropes. The two of them began to play some matches together, so Jiseok could work on toning his skills. 

A few weeks passed, Jiseok got more comfortable with the game. He’s made some online friends that he enjoys playing with. One of those online friends being you. You first encountered Jiseok while playing some solo matches. The two of you were randomly put on the same team. You were playing your usual role as a main healer. Jiseok was seemingly in constant need of your assistance. It was pretty easy for you to see that he was new to the game. Jiseok thanked you in the chat and apologized for causing you trouble. He confirmed your inference that he was indeed new to the game. What people would refer to as a noob. 

The two of you became online friends. You guys would always find time to game together and ended up becoming a really good team. As the two of you got closer, chatting in game turned into chatting privately. 

Unfortunately this week you were very busy and unable to find time to game, so you sent Jiseok a text telling him that you wouldn’t be able to join him in gaming this week. He responded by telling you that he understands and to not overwork yourself. 

For whatever reason Jiseok found that gaming this week wasn’t as fun as it usually was. The matches seemed more boring. Winning wasn’t as thrilling. Losing was more frustrating. 

The next week you were back and able to play again. Suddenly the game’s funness returned. 

Matches were exciting. Winning was exhilarating. Losing was annoying, but not the end of the world by any means. Jiseok wondered what could have made last week so meh. Maybe he was just having a bad week himself, but there wasn’t anything he could specifically think of that would make his week quote unquote bad.

The two of you were celebrating another match victory when the realization struck him. You weren’t there last week. Matches were boring without you to play with. Winning was less thrilling because he couldn’t share it with you. Losing was more frustrating because you weren’t there to cheer him up. Gaming with you is what made the game fun for him. Jiseok had no clue what he was supposed to do with new found information. What did it mean? Was it normal? It probably was. Gaming with your friend would naturally be more fun. 

“Jiseok the next match started. Why are you just standing there? Did you go AFK?” Your voice rang over his headphones, snapping him from his thoughts.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” He said into his mic as he began to play. 

You’ve noticed that Jiseok has been weird since that day. He’s often distracted during matches. His reaction times are slower and his aim is off. 

“Jiseok is everything ok lately? You’re always distracted whenever we play?” You asked him over the mic. 

“Oh…yeah everythings fine. I’ve just had a lot of thoughts on my mind recently,” he excuses. 

“Well if you ever want to talk, you know how to reach me,” you stated. You hoped it was nothing too serious.

“Of course, thanks,” Jiseok tells you. The only issue is how could he possibly talk to you about it when you were the thoughts on his mind. Jiseok was even starting to wonder if he even liked the game or just liked you. However in order to figure that out he’d have to first figure out in what way he likes you. Is it simply as an online friend or something more? He always gets excited whenever your contact lights up his phone. He’s sad when you can’t game together. He wants to get to know you better, outside of gaming. He would like to spend time with you together in person. All of those things apply to friendship though, doesn’t mean that he has a crush on you. 

Jiseok decided that he would take a week off from gaming. Give him a chance to sort his thoughts. He sent you a text under the guise of being too busy this week to game. It was believable, you’ve done the same before, so there was nothing to question about it. 

During this week off Jiseok was able to figure that he didn’t miss gaming, but he did miss gaming with you. In fact he just missed talking to you in general. Since he used the guise of being busy that also meant he didn’t message you as often either, to make his lie believable. The way he missed you wasn’t how he missed his other friends, no it was different. Which led him to his second conclusion. Jiseok liked you, in a more than a friend way. He has fallen for his online gaming buddy without even realizing it. Now Jiseok had a new problem, what was he gonna do about that?

Jiseok returned to gaming the following week and tried to act as usual, however his newly discovered crush on you made that difficult. His heart raced faster, his palms felt sweaty, his stomach had butterflies. 

“I’m glad you’re back. I missed you last week,” you told him. Thankfully you couldn’t see the heat you caused to rise to Jiseok’s cheeks with your simple words.

“I missed you too,” Jiseok replied. 

Little did Jiseok know that you had grown to harbor your own crush on him. He was oblivious to the fact that although it was your role to heal all of your teammates you stayed extra close to his side. If two of your teammates were down you would heal him first. You too wished to know him better outside of gaming. Anytime he messaged you, you’d smile like an idiot at your phone. His laughter ringing over your headphones made your stomach swirl. 

“Are you free to call after our gaming session? I have something that I want to tell you,” Jiseok asks you. You’re heart sped up. What could he want to talk to you about? It didn’t help that you two have never called outside of the gaming before either.

“Yeah I’m free,” you tried to say casually.

“Cool, I’ll call you after then,” Jiseok says. 

Your gaming session came to an end and just like Jiseok said he would, your phone rang, displaying that Jiseok was calling.

“Hey,” you answered.

“Hey,” he responded.

“So you wanted to tell me something?” You questioned.

“Yeah uh…” Jiseok trailed off for a few seconds. “I don’t know if this is gonna sound weird. If it does then please forget that I said anything,” he continued on before taking another pause. “Over our time gaming together I’ve,” he laughs. “I’ve developed a crush on you, so I was wondering if you wanted to try going out. Like dating,” he finished. Jiseok’s heart was beating so fast. He felt like he might die if you didn’t answer him soon. 

“I like you too Jiseok,” you confessed. Jiseok could finally breathe. If he was gonna die now it would be from happiness. 

Your gaming sessions turned into gaming dates at internet cafes. Even though Jiseok realized that he isn’t the most avid gamer. He doesn’t love gaming, but he loves gaming with you.

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

I think. Words like gaslight and lobotomy and neurospicy should never have even made it online at this point. (Hyperbole) One TikTok musician wrote a song. Titled Neurospicy and it's so. Bad.

Im gonna break down why the song is bad. This is for education. Also bc im a little piss baby and I love complaing. Do not go harass her.

Disclaimers:

I am just a Tumblr user.

My opinions are whay they are because :

I am self diagnosed autistic. I did years of research. Many autistic people said "you are definitely autistic" If I don't have autism, I know I am at least neurodivergent. I know a lot about Neurodivergency from loved experience, mine and my (diagnosed ) friends. I read a lot of discourse on disabilities.

I cannot find confirmation if the creator is claiming to be neurodivergent or has a doctor or self diagnosis. I hate this song so much I really don't care if she does to be honest. Don't harass her tho.

This song is very obviously using neurodivergency for slang as adhd and autism. I'll try to use the most accurate language because it's improtsnt that people with NPD BPD and Schizophrenia and other disorders and disabilities are recognized as neurodivergent. Just a reminder that its their word/space too

(

[Intro]

One, two, three, four

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland

)

-Oh god. I don't want to be like "oh all these adhd people are just trying to be trendy" bc they aren't. But you either are neurodivergent or not. You can't be a little spicy. If you are questioning, do research. Don't write a song about it for clout?? Again idk if she is but still the phrasing makes me upset.

The second line is literally just "well isn't everyone a little Adhd?" Like. C'mon. That minimizes the struggle of being fucking disabled. And living with that disability. If everyone was a 'little disabled' then it would just be a human limitation not a disability?? That's like basic abelism 101.

Third line, one neurotype is not better than the other. Being neurodivergent means your brain works differently. If we start treating all autistic/adhd people like they are better bc they're cooler and smarter, most adhd/autistic people that have higher support needs will be even more left behind. It feels like those "not a disability a different ability " or "actually autism js a superpower" No. Stop. If your autism makes you smart, goof for you, but I'm not gonna let high and medium support needs people be pushed even father aside. It is ok to be disabled, and we need to accept that.

(

[Verse 2]

I have trouble with boundaries

A spicy little ginger man found me

He likes that I'm a little bit rowdy

He holds my sweaty hand

)

Line one, I don't like that she says she's "a little spicy" and then immediately goes to "I have trouble with boundaries." If you can't respect boundaries, that's on you. I understand that neurodivergent people sometimes can have issues with boundaries like forgetting them or something, but it isn't a part of being neurodivergent. It's part of being human. Neurodivergent people are capable of respecting boundaries. Even if neurodivergency makes it harder to remember or respect boundaries, that isn't a silly little hehe, thats part of a disability that needs either work or some accommodation. This line doesn't have pure abelism in it, but I don't like the implications of it at all.

Second line, this is me being a hater but I genuinely thought she was talking about ed sheeran there for a second. Or a ginger bread cookie man. The phrasing of that was so odd to me

(

Verse 3]

My brain and mouth don’t talk much

They don't usually sync up

So sometimes words I think of

Are louder and faster than I planned

)

Nothing bad with this I just really dislike the music

(

[Verse 4]

Einstein was a little spicy

Newton was a little spicy

Darwin, Edison, spicy

Imagine if they started a band

)

Stop conflating neurodivergency / Adhd + autism with being good at shit. It's not just something that makes you good at things. It is likely that they had some neurodivergency and we should celebrate the accomplishment of disabled people. But this paired with the "spicy is better than bland" line just isn't giving. I can feel the "autism js a superpower" energy. Again I'm bitching on internet for fun but still

(

[Outro]

It'd probably sound like

My doc says that I'm spicy

But even she's a little bit spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Two, three, four)

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Wah, haha)

)

I promise you your doctor did not say you were "spicy" bc that's. Giving mal practice. The line just pisses me off bc it does. Thay isn't how any of this works.

Second line. Stop headcannoning people as neurodivergent. Not everyone js a little bit neurodivergent.

Last couple lines are just the chorus.

Even if the writer has autism or adhd I'm begging them to read one or two disabled theory books or at this point even some Tumblr posts. This creator has a pretty big platform and it's disappointing to see really basic abelist bullshit from someone who could easily find resources on this topic or hire/ask someone for a sensitivity read.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Could you explain the context behind Matty's speech today?

Sure thing! Disclaimer, though, I haven’t had the chance to sit with it yet/ catch up on the show. It’s like just turned 9 am over on my side of the world, lol. So this is just off the top of my head….

I think the key to understanding what’s going on here is in the fact that he revealed the fact that the speech was written by ChatGPT at the END. Cuz, like, he could’ve just said “so, I asked ChatGPT to write a speech that sounds like a Matty Healy rant, and this is what it came up with. Gosh I sound so annoying don’t I heheheh” but he DIDNT do that. In fact, he chose to set it up as an “interruption” of the actual show. Like, he asked the guys to “cut” the music.

This way, he’s got the crowds attention. Cuz if he had done it in a moment of quiet in between songs as he usually does, people wouldn’t have paid as much attention/ would’ve been talking to him or over him or cheering like “I love you matty!!” Or “shut up and play notes!!” So, he set us up by making it a surprise so that we’d pay attention. If you’ve seen the clip on tiktok, the crowd is almost completely silent. He starts to speak, and at first it’s all vaguely making sense….he even leans into it when he says “Matthew,” and strokes peanut’s leg 🥺 which solidifies the illusion that this is a speech that he wrote and planned to say as peanut was next to him. So it makes us think harder about what’s going on. Like, we’re all thinking “He seems to be saying something important but….bro is not making much sense….or maybe I’m dumb? Maybe I’m not getting it?!” So we wait for more, like maybe it’ll make sense as he keeps going / if we listen carefully enough. But it just gets worse and worse.

The speech SOUNDS like Matty. In the sense that it gestures towards desire for connection/ cultural critiques. It has a few big words thrown in there. Even the arc of it is Matty-esque in that it tries to end on a positive note. Some vaguely coherent sentence about us all trying to be better and do better and maybe we can change things. Which is the only part that the audience kinda understands (you can even hear the crowd start to cheer and clap at this point cuz they’re like ‘okay I’m familiar with this bit that he’s saying. Yeah it’s that sounds like something I agree with. We SHOULD indeed all be trying and changing shit’).

Then he pulls the rug from under us, so to speak, and says “you know who wrote that? ChatGPT” (in the clip I saw, a crowd member yells out “YOU DID!” Before he tells us that it’s ChatGPT).

So, why did he do that? Again, this is off the top of my head, but I think for two reasons.

1. It’s the ultimately self-performance, right? Literally saying shit that he didn’t write but that is written to sound like him. I’m not super tech savvy, but as I understand it, ChatGPT works on an algorithm that detects speech patterns. So, in order to compose this speech, it mined the internet for Matty Healy content. Which means that it was probably drawing on his reputation (and we know what the most prominent articles and posts online about him rn would say. If you were an algorithm, what pattern might you find?) as a public figure. Lacking the context. Lacking the nuance. So, in that sense, much like Peanut, the speech is addressing his personal “controversies” on one level, but also commenting on our culture and reactionary politics more generally. He’s literally performing the version of himself that the world thinks he is. Especially since the show changed BECAUSE of the vitality of the band on tiktok and BECAUSE of his recent “reputation” and he told us that he was going to be commenting on it. Reducing himself to a bunch of public impressions and behaviors and speech patterns and then putting them on like a performance.

2. He’s thinking through the artist-fan relationship. We have this trust in him. We go to these shows because unlike ChatGPT, we HAVE THE CONTEXT. We as fans know where he’s coming from. So what would happen if he were to alienate us? To say something purposefully weird and incomprehensible….it’s not even real fuckin English it’s just a bunch of nonsense with a few words and phrases that sound like something that he would say. We experience a moment of critical confusion. “I want to believe in him. I do believe in him. I wanna get this. I’m trying to get this. But has he cracked? Has he finally pushed himself too far and gone to the land of nonsense? Is he turning into the obnoxious self-centered artsy straight white guy that Twitter thinks he is? Has he always been like this? Is this what he actually sounds like in real life and it’s taken me seeing him live to finally get that he’s a fuckin weirdo? Matty, what are you doing man???” And then we hear that vaguely positive end to the speech and are like “phew! Okay this sounds good. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I just don’t get it.” And in typical Matty fashion, just having made a deep, poignant point, he’s like “JUST KIDDING ITS NOT ME ITS THE ROBOTS HAHA TRICKED YA!” Showing that the artist-fan relationship is still built on the same public impressions. If we fully listened and believed that he was serious only to find out that we were totally wrong, what makes us think that we know him any better than ChatGPT does? Or twitter ? The only difference is, we hear that shit and think “he’s trying to make a point” whereas Twitter hears it and says “ah this confirms exactly what I know. He’s a dickhead who’s in love with the sound of his own voice and thinks of himself as some kind of philosopher.”

Idk. I’m sure there’s more that I have yet to think about. I haven’t had coffee yet so I’m still warming up lmao. Does this make any sense at all? Does it help? Does it make things worse? Idk. Just my way of seeing it I could be 100% wrong.

[gcldfanged]

-Independent Fandomless Original Character. Crossover Verses in Final Fantasy, various animanga series, other video games, and graphic novel lore-

This blog will be dealing with themes such as: the creation of 'monsters', a nuanced look at Asian organized crime, death and rebirth of the self, man-made Gods, pack mentality, tearing and clawing out meaning for oneself in an unkind world ruled by wealth.

-Kkeungi, 30+ (He/Him, They/Them), PST-

est. 07/28/2022.

Multi-para, long term plotting preferred. Crossover & Multimuse friendly. ◈ MOBILE/CARRD. ◈ HEADCANON. ◈ META. ◈ WRITING. ◈ ARTWORK. ◈ THREAD TRACKER. (Updated: 9/19/24) ◈ RP WISHLIST ◈ INTEREST CHECKER (Updated: 12/08/24)

-MORE INFORMATION BENEATH THE CUT-

[MUN]

King Kkeungi /King K/Kkeungi (he/him & they/them), 30+, Pacific Standard Timezone (UTC -8).

Please do not follow/interact if you are under 21+: I am Olde™ and perpetually exhausted.

I go through cyclical periods of being very chatty and active, then straight up nonexistent for awhile due to personal life and work stress.

[DISCLAIMER]

I do make serious effort to tag anything sensitive/heavy in terms of content and am completely open to adding tags for my mutuals, if needed.

However, always take tags literally- Like as in Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. If the tags say 'organ harvesting', expect literal organ harvesting. I don't usually use 'DD:DNE' since a lot of chronically online people assume it means I write 'problematic content' for sexual self-gratification. Please do not insult me like that or attempt to shame me for what I write, I will block you without hesitation.

[TRIGGERS]

Mutual respect is necessary if we're going to write together.

I personally have very specific triggers, so they don't even come up in writing at all (they've proven to be visual/auditory).

I always write trigger tags as 'trigger tw or 'trigger cw' since that is the easiest way Tumblr Savior can accurately recognize them.

[ACTIVITY]

I'll post my schedule once it becomes more regular (just got a new job), but in general I'll probably have more time to write at night. I initially send requests to plot over DMs in Tumblr since I personally don't like giving out my Discord handle to someone completely new and feel like other writers do the same. If we seem to connect easily, I generally give it out anyway.

Discord RP is totally fine. If we're already threading on Tumblr, moving them to Discord is also fine.

If I follow you, I want to write with you.

Constructive criticism is always welcome when I ask for it (i.e., post OOC asking for it or reblog a concrit meme). I heavily dislike Love Bombing as a practice and I also do my best to offer objective and constructive advice to my close friends who ask for it from me. I want to eventually publish my own fictional works, so improving upon my style and understanding of writing is something that I actively work very hard on.

Hate will always be erased and you will be hardblocked.

Tracking the tag: #gcldfanged

I take awhile to respond. You may remind me every now and then to check in, but I don't really work well within specific time limits to follow back or even interact once we're mutuals. I have limited spoons and personal time, so I will actively distance myself from Muns who display entitlement over my attention.

[GENERAL]

Power Gaming is super boring to me. I prefer doing a 'Blow by Blow' where we leave each response open to the mutual as to what their muse acts upon and is affected by. I also don't mind plotting it out beforehand.

I do not do 'Follow for Follow'. Sometimes my mouse also misclicks on the Dashboard and it'll make me randomly Follow a blog I'm only checking out or Like a post TWICE in succession- This is NOT an attempt to get your attention if we're not mutuals. I will always reach out to apologize in DMs and explain so there's not any misunderstandings.

My Ask Box, Discord IMs, and Tumblr DMs are always open for clarifications, questions, and requests to edit my posts.

I love plotting. It's not necessary all the time, but even a few basic details generally help me get a better idea of what to lead with. I will offer ideas and expect the same, I dislike feeling as though the effort is one-sided.

[SHIPS & NSFW] I always tag with #◈ NSFW and employ cuts/'read more's. I'm Multiship 100%, unless all mutuals involved in the thread discuss that our muses can recognize established relationships in the RP.

[FORMAT]

You never have to match length or speed of replies.

My only thing I expect to match is providing content we both can work off of- If the vibes aren't there, I'll reach out about it OOC. If nothing changes, I will more than likely drop the thread.

I can write long replies and forget to use cuts, just message me if it's making your Dash awful.

I use icons when I even remember to use them, they're honestly just for fun- Never required.

Small Text is fine, but whenever I seem to reblog and edit to reply on Tumblr- small text format will break in the draft, randomly? So I probably won't be using it at all.