#(tho if my memory isn’t bad right now… I might be in for a heartbreak :’)) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hazard-queen · 4 years ago

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I wonder how Leona, Malleus, and Rook would react to (s/o) coming to them on pure instinct after having somehow lost all memory up to and including their own name?

Hello~♡

Sorry if it took too much time i apologies, the current situation isn't the best of my life but I'm trying to make it through.

Take care of yourself and have a good day~ ♡

• "Tell me you're joking..."

• Leona stood in front you unbelieving what you just said, you don't really remember him? Or even his name...

• "I'm sorry....there's nothing i can do..." you looked at him with a sorry expression on your face, you're not lying you really can't remember anything from what happened on a hand and on the other the male in fron of you started being insane!

• "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME?!" He held your both arms pulling you closer, "please tell me this is not true" his voice cracked as he spoke, you really wanted to tell him that you remember him but you simply don't!

• What happened? Oh well it was said that you lost your palace on flying lesson and you dropped to the ground while no one could help you in time so yeah, you remember nothing and staying in the infirmary for a while

• You didn't know what to tell the devastated male in front of you but the fact there's someone who really care and desperately want you to remember him so you just sigh

• "I might lost all my memories including my memories with you even my own name....and if so i want to get to know you again" you held his hands and gave him a soft smile that could calm him down abit yet he couldn't bare it

• "Tch...like if you would want to know me again!" He looked away from you, you didn't know what's wrong with him or why he said this, could it be the endless nonsense fights he had with you? Or the arguments you both had...how many times he yelled at you before...did you know that before this accident happen you both weren't talking for days and you were mad at him?

• "Well...as i said i remember nothing from what happened and i think we should open a new page together and forget about what happened before...let's build it all again together but in the right way" you gave leona a big hug and he accepted it actually

• It may be a good thing after all...a new chance for both of you to fix what happened before

• he will spend as much time with you watching over you and care for you, he will even ask them in the infirmary to take a nearby bed to stay with you until you're allowed to go out

• He be there by you untill your memories come back, it may take time but he will never leave your side till you remember him again.

• He rushed to the infirmary when he heared what happened to you, his eyes widened on seeing you helpless on one of infirmary's beds, your head was bandaged and you seemed like if you were sleeping peacefully

• He pulled a chair and sat by your bed hoping you will open your eyes any second and want to be the first one you see when you come back to your conscious and just as he wanted you began to slowly open your eyes and recognise your surroundings only to see malleus' face inches away from yours that made you almost jump from your place

• "Oh my dear, I'm sorry did i scare you?" Malleus pulled away from you giving you your space tho you never looked that scared from him

• You looked at him with worried eyes unsure what to say...did he just call you dear? "Umm excuse me but what am i doing here...and who are you?"

• It was like if he got hit by thunder now, did he hear that right? " what do you mean by who am i? (Y/n) it's me, malleus draconia...don't you remember me?" He asked and hoped for you to say yes but what he heard from you was more shocking

• "I'm sorry but i really don't remember you, were we close or something?" Oh no, what did you just say? It was a simple line from you but it could be the end of the world to malleus, did you really forget him!

• "Y..yes , we were...you were the closest one to me" he spoke worried unable to think clear and from the sorrowful expression he has on his face it seems like you were a very precious thing to him

• "I'm sorry...i don't remember" you frowned as you spoke, you can do nothing about that you know

• His heart dropped to his feet hearing this, after he gained both your love and trust, with heavy heart he will just excuse to leave you to rest, it also made you feel sad about him...he must have loved you and treasured you so much as you could see the sadness and pain written on his face while he was leaving.

• "W wait!"

• He turned to you as fast as he could with open eyes " what? Do you need anything?" He spoke in concern

• "Ummm will you....stay with me? I don't know but...i felt safe when you came here" you blushed on saying this and blushed even more harder when you see how malleus' eyes sparkled from happiness on hearing your words and gladly agreed to stay by you, you know he will be there always to protect you and do all he could to bring your memories back.

• He just heard the news of the huge mistake happened in alchemy lesson you had yasterday, no wonder why you didn't ask about him or came to visit him like usual, no one told him what happened so he didn't go to check on you yasterday.

• He dashed his way to you shooving people aside from his way like if he was looking for his prey not for you!, since you had no physical damage you didn't stay in the infirmary for long but let me say....not physically!

• A smile drew on his face seeing you walking with some of your friends talking and everything looks normal, he ran to you taking all of you into a sudden thigh hug, " oh mon cher, i was so worried about you! Thank god you're safe!"

• "Ummm do i know you?" Poor rook didn't see that coming, he pulled away placing his hands on the sides of your face, " of course you do, Don't scare me like that!" His hands were slightly shaking, it's not what he's thinking...right?

• It was a staring competition until some students told him what happened and how you lost your memories because of the wrong potion and rook stood there speechless, " please tell me that this is a kind of joke and you do this cause i was pretty busy recently and didn't spend time with you" it was really heartbreaking to see him like that, it's like he's going to beg you to tell him that this isn't true

• You looked at him with apologetic expression and shook your head, his heart broke into pieces as the most dear person in his life don't even remember his name, his heart sinked as he started to breathe heavily...that's not real, it's all a bad dream....a nightmare

• "My dear (y/n) even if you don't remember me i will always love you no matter what" he gave you a smile that you could see it hides so much pain in the young male's chest, he looked down with a sigh

• You tiled your head looking at him, you wanted to cheer him up but you didn't know how, " ummm do you care to have a cup of tea...breakfast with me?"

• His face light up as he remembered those days when he used to invite you for a cup of tea or a meal, " sure thing! And it will be on me!" You noded giving you the best of his smile to comfort you

• He took you almost everywhere you used to go together and talk to you about your favourite places and hobbies you had, he will spend as much time as he could to make -up the time he couldn't be with you in.

• He got really mad at the morons who were the reason of what happened and he won't tolerate with that mistake and he will even ditch some of his lessons to make sure that you will be always safe and sound.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst wonderland #leona kingscholar #twst leona #twisted wonderland leona #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twisted wonderland malleus #twst rook #rook hunt

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konaizumi · 4 years ago

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A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 8 thoughts/reaction

did i watch this episode secretly on my phone while i was in class bc i couldn’t stand waiting a whole hour to watch the new ep? maybe

tian visiting torfun’s memorial to leave flowers and tell her that he’s going to pha pun dao was sweet

also him and phupha missing each other again was just a really nice scene and phupha wondering who left her flowers

i have decided to forgive dr nam for last episode (the snooping not the flirting thing) bc i know he was just concerned about his friend and he didn’t intend for phupha to have that kind of reaction, but he still should’ve confronted tian directly before telling phupha

the way tian is looking at longtae in the beginning, seeing how supportive he’s being and knowing that he’s probably about to lose longtae as well

god this scene was so painful to watch, just knowing what was coming

but the editing that combines tian’s speech with phupha reading through the notebook

also, thank you to the writers for confirming that the tian/torfun similarities are bc he’s been reading the notebook and not because torfun’s spirit is possessing him, i didn’t think they would do that but nice to have confirmation

poor tian really did go there with the best intentions

oof, when the music goes silent when phupha interrupts his speech

also, i said this last week, but it should’ve been the rangers responsibility to tell everyone torfun had died and the fact that they didn’t only added to tian’s burden and the animosity aimed at him, and it annoyed me the way the rangers (perhaps unintentionally) let tian take on the full blame and didn’t admit that they had known about torfun’s death from the start

god and the way tian’s heart break is visible on his face as soon as phupha interrupts/confronts him and he realizes that phupha won’t be on his side

and mix’s acting in this scene (and the entire episode) is just so good, you can see the way he’s desperately trying to keep in together and not completely break down, and his heartbreak when he realizes he’s all alone

also, i made a longer post about how i understand phupha’s reaction, I think it’s pretty natural and that he’s not overreacting, however, i do wish he hadn’t confronted tian so publicly like that

just everything about this scene is just so good in the most painful way, especially the sad orchestral version of the theme song

now i think this ep is too sad for me to say it’s my favorite, but from a narrative/cinematography perspective it is my favorite, it was just really well done

i was really hoping the kids would have a bigger role this ep and begin the forgiveness process for the rest of the village, so i was excited when Meejoo came but then p’aof decided to stab me directly in the heart when she asked what death is

(also im sorry but how old are these kids that she doesn’t know what the word death is?)

(also given that everything that happens in this ep happens within like a 30 hour period, i still hold hope for the kids forgiving next ep once they have some time to process)

at least they didn’t make me watch the scene where tian had to explain what death was, that would’ve killed me

i understand the villager’s reactions too, and i do kind of wish tian would just stay home and give them some time to grieve and process before trying to interact with them–i don’t blame tian for keeping the truth from them this long, but he does need to respect the pain they’re going through

also this scene with phupha really fucked me up, the way phupha remains stone faced even though he’s clearly in a lot of pain

“i wish i could return it to her” one of the things about this story that really fucks me up is that you can’t have both torfun and tian--torfun had to die for tian to live, and if torfun had lived then tian would have died and all the characters are in a way stuck with this moral dilemma of “choosing” between tian and torfun, even if the decision was already made for them, and tian has had to deal with this problem since the beginning and made his choice a long time ago that he would have preferred that torfun had lived instead of him bc he feels like she had more to live for and left behind more than he would’ve

also the scene is so much more painful knowing that just that morning phupha had finally said out loud that he wanted tian to stay

and i was really ton this scene between understanding phupha’s reaction and where he’s coming from but also being like “please stop talking to my son like that, he feels bad enough as is”

i have often had the emotion of “i want to walk through the screen so i can give this character a hug” and i have literally never felt it stronger than this episode of atots

also thank you to dr nam who told phupha not that he was wrong for his actions, but that he should’ve confronted tian differently, also for figuring out that tian wasn’t the driver

the fact that tian just walked through the tea field so he knows that either khama was lying to him or that longtae saw him in the field and hid from him

poor longtae tho, thought he knew what was coming then was hit with “im responsible for her death”

you know what? i didn’t realize khama would have such a recurring role from the first episode, but i really like him--he’s trying to do his best for the village and that isn’t always easy and he’s the first to try to think about tian’s perspective even when it’s clearly difficult for him

also i love khaotung, he does a really good job as longtae, and as much as i loved him as chonlatee, i prefer him in more mature roles like longtae or fong

did dr nam really think phupha would keep letting tian stay in his room?

it came as a surprise to likely no one but i am glad to have definitve confirmation that tian was in fact not driving the car

against my wishes, tul did not show up this episode to give tian a hug so i hope he’s in the next ep to provide some much needed emotional support

tian’s involvement in torfun’s death is also complicated because to say he had no responsibility in it would be wrong but to say he had full responsibility wouldn’t be right either, there was so much of the situation that was just due to chance, as it the case in any accident, so i appreciate the nuance of the narrative in that tian does take responsibility (even if he takes too much) but other characters like longtae argue that it’s not his fault, bc it’s easy from an outside perspective to say it’s not tian’s fault but it would be much harder to be in tian’s position and not feel responsible that his actions lead to torfun’s death

longtae is truly best boi

tian saying he’s okay with just longtae understanding him is so sad but at the same time it’s good that he’s not trying to force other people to understand or forgive him

now i really want to know what torfun’s wish is bc you know it’s going to be all meaningful and thematically relevant

istg if i had a fucking nickel for every time tian has tried to give me a heart attack

i spent the entirety of part 4 yelling at tian to just stop being stupid

like i get it, you don’t feel like you have the time to waste to go find phupha, but still

also im worried that maybe the reason he was so adamant about doing it himself and not finding phupha was because he didn’t feel like he could go to phupha or that phupha might not believe him

tian please just listen to longtae being the voice of reason

or at least send longtae back to the village to go get phupha if you’re this determined

as soon as he pulled out his phone i fucking knew the flash would go off bc tian can’t be smart without also being dumb

pls don’t hit my son he has a weak heart

longtae running away like “i didn’t sign up for this shit”

pls stop hitting my son

i was wondering how tian’s dad would become involved in the story again and tian name dropping him to escape being killed by poachers was not it

but sakda was clearly scared when tian first said the name so obvi they’re connected and i’m assuming the person who called tian’s dad was either sakda or one of the other men there which means that tian’s dad is doing illegal shit (surprise surprise)

tian i know you’re stressed but pls let rang provide first aid

that montage at the end tho really hit me

also the parallels between this scene and the one when tian fainted in the field, it’s literally the exact same scene but the roles are reversed

also the fucking post credits scene, the emotional whiplash, the pain from knowing phupha said this stuff literally hours before everything went wrong

the way i squealed when phupha said i do (and throught the rest of the scene), it was literally the sweetest thing, it might be my favorite phutian moment so far

so for the last two episodes, im assuming that tian’s dad coming to get him and the dad being involved in illegal stuff will be the main external conflict, i wouldn’t be surprised if next ep ended with the dad showing up and demanding to take tian back

also the next ep preview, khama telling tian to forgive himself, im weak

this episode just made me feel so much, the story is just so complex and nuanced, and the characters are real and messy, and pls more bl in the future that aren’t afraid to tell more serious stories (as much as i love the romcom style of most bls i would love some more variety)

#1000 stars #atots #a tale of a thousand stars #1000 stars ep 8 #atots spoilers #1000 stars spoilers #konaizumi reactions

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thewindsofsong · 4 years ago

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get to know me

tagged by @xcziel. Took me a few days, but I finally just sat down at my computer and got to it.

name: my internet name is thewindsofsong. I also go by windy. I don’t give my rl name to anyone i haven’t met irl because I am technically internet old and trust no one with personal information

pronouns: she/her

Break so this isn't super long and annoying to get past

star sign: aries but I don’t really know what that means because I don’t follow astrology at all

height: 5'4"

time: 9:42

birthday: 4/10, but sometimes i say 4/13 because thats two unlucky numbers in one birthday

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: Hozier, Florence and the Machine, Mitsuki, Liu Chang are the ones that come to mind right now. There’s more, but those tent to be the artists I come back to a lot. Neutral Milk Hotel is old and gone and only listened to when the mood is right

song stuck in your head: Highland cathedral because of a tiktok atm. A bunch of people sang different notes and layered on top of each other to sound like bagpipes. It was pretty awesome.

last movie you watched:Rurouni Kenshin! The 2012 live action movie!! Currently one of the organizers for a weekly watch party that happens in the dmbj discord server. Its been a lot of fun watching movies with everyone there every week!!!

last show you binged: Does Moonfall Echo count? I technically binged it, but the whole series is also like a hour a most and I watched half of it on my lunch break today

when you created your blog: some time in early 2012 i think?

the last thing you googled:月陨回声 - would it surprise anyone to know that thats the original Chinese title for Moonfall Echo? No? No one? ok….

other blogs: twoscats. I sent all the cute animal things there and then watch them on worse days.

why i chose my url: I was young and knew that i liked music and that my favorite element was air. One day the winds of song came into my head and it has been my online handle ever since.

how many people are you following: 140 which is actually a lot for me. I should go through and do some pruning… I usually keep it down to around 100. I curate my tumblr experience a lot and I credit it to being the reason why its been as positive as it has been.

how many followers do you have: 675, but my blog is also suuuuuper old so the majority of them are probably inactive blogs that are just hanging around.

average hours of sleep:6-7. I’ve tried to sleep more than that but it just doens’t happen easily. I tent to wake up super early and have a hard time falling asleep again

lucky numbers: multiples of 3 and 13

instruments: marimba. Used to play it back in high school and just loved the sound of it. Also have a lot of great memories playing in both marching band and drumline.

what i'm currently wearing: halloween pjs. They’re very comfy and Halloween is great and deserves more than just one month ok?

dream job: housewife/artisanal soap maker. Let me do nothing but focus on keeping a clean house, cooking new foods, occasionally making and selling fantastic handmade soaps! I could binge all the dramas! Write all the fanfics!! DO ALL THE THINGS!!! But alas, I live in a capitalist hellscape and must work to contribute to bills. I think I’m doing close to the next best thing which is working from home atm tho.

dream trip: all expense paid trip across japan during a non busy season. My Japanese is bad and suuupeer informal because I absorbed it all from watching 15ish years of anime, but it's workable.

fave food: right now the first thing that comes to mind is a great breakfast sandwich.

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: star trek times? Where capitalism has been abolished and things are pretty great? Ummmmm beyond that, maybe Natsume Yuujincho universe because interesting things can happen, but they aren’t world ending. Spirits exist and sometimes they form heartbreaking connections to mortals, but they're still so beautiful! Third might be idk, dmbj world so long as I never enter a tomb? Hearing about Wu Xie’s disastrous adventures could be fun

last song: That wasn’t the tiktok one? Probably Golden Sands sung by Liu Chang

last stream: I watched a bit of Liu Chang’s 4/28 stream that got uploaded to youtube. I do not have a problem, don’t judge me.

currently reading: Cats Paw by Merinnan & xantissa for like the 16th time. I don’t really read books and i’ve never really taken the time to examine why, but with fics like theirs, I never really saw a reason to try and go into reading random books that I don’t know or characters that I don’t already have a connection to.

currently watching: Moonfall Echo. I’ll probably be rewatching it a few times because I can. Its so weird. I don’t understand how they’re actually making this work with everything else? And apparently A Chinese Ghost Story is a part of this somehow?

what is antipoetry to you: Absolutely no idea. I had to analyse a bunch of poetry back in high school, but that was a long time ago. Is antipoetry just prose?

currently craving: takoyaki lowkey allllllllll the damn time. I actually have a takoyaki pan, but making takoyaki takes so much work. I usually just make pancake balls and drench them in syrup.

#some more random about me things #yes i'm high key obsessed with liu chang #its not a problem yet because i haven't figured out how to send all my money to him

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we-rate-tmnt · 5 years ago

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I request: Leonardo. Please and thank you 🙏.

Idk if everyone loves Leo or if my header and avatar just remind everyone about this amazing blue boy. (This one’s super silly btw. I’m just sillier as time goes on. Character development I guess?)

The iconic leador Leonardo (1987)

Bro idk why but I loved this Leo. I have a tiny memory, especially with this version but I clearly remember that I thought he was the funniest and the coolest. I mean, he had swords, what was I supposed to do as a 7-year-old. NOT like him??? Anyway, while Raph was the best at insult comedy, I think Leo had the best puns and punchlines. I really like how nonchalant this Leo is compared to his iterations, going along with really silly ideas and having fun along the way. But because of this, his leadership is a little forced at times, he seems like such a chill and fun dude that when he gets serious, I have to squint and ask ‘are you Leo? Or were you just putting on act a moment ago?’ Or my perception is entirely warped over time. Either way, good turtle boy, could have used some work tho. 5.7/10

Here comes grumpy lad wooo this is all read very monotone btw Fearless Leader (2003)

What. What the fuck happened. I was actually so confused when Leo turned really angry and serious and almost manic. I thought that episode when he popped into Casey’s window and was like ‘Hey bitch lets go beat the shit out of some lowlifes’ I was WOAH THERE BUDDY BACK UP BACK UP BACK TF UP. It was so sudden to me and when it was finally explained, it made some sense??? Like yeah, character development is great an’ all but this ain’t it chief. I can’t imagine what it was like having to wait for these episodes to release one at a time. Bc I watched every episode back to back on Youtube and I was genuinely bamboozled. But when you have an experience like that where guilt is weighing down on you from a situation you couldn’t control, it would’ve been HELLA HELPFUL to have at least a flashback, like a line saying ‘I was so useless!’ at BARE MINIMUM. Like right after Shredder is booted off to Planet Zula, Donnie would notice that Leo didn’t seem all that happy and would ask why and Leo would get upset and yell at Donnie saying that ‘You wouldn’t understand’, ‘You don’t know how I felt, how I feel because of that’, etc. Like you don’t even have to say he felt guilty or helpless, just give us something to grab onto. We’re merely six-year-olds who thought they could climb the YMCA rock wall in easy mode but instead the script riders harnessed us up on the hard one and wouldn’t let us come down until we rang the little bell at the top. I think that is the only problem I had with his Leo. The sudden change of calm and decisive to angry and irrational was so jarring that it felt unnatural without that crucial context. If you want a surprise reveal, at least hint at the reveal (like just about every Disney movie with their ‘twist’ villains) not wait until the very last moment. I think this might be my least favorite Leo and I think the season where he stood out the most and seemed the strongest was Fast Forward (Which was GOOD FIGHT ME), especially in scenes with Dark Leo, his clone. He sees so much of himself in Dark Leo but he also sees something he had once grasped (AKA the poorly written character arc, I CANNOT stress how bad I thought it was). Although, I honestly think he’s a really good character and he’s a pretty neat guy. However, this score is entirely held up by Fast Forward and his connection with Usagi, sword bros to the end of time. 3/10 (2 for FF and 1 for Usagi)

And now a Leo that makes me genuinely feel UWU Leo (2012)

I cannot stress how much I like this guy! Like his design is so appealing, his dedication, his obsession with Space Heroes, like I FUCKING LOVE IT. And everyone knows, that shit with Karai, at first when they didn’t realize they were related, I can let slide but kajsdflksadf what even like why did the writers feel the need to add in more ‘love interest’ implications like yuck yuck yuck. The only two interactions with Leo and Karai that I really like are when Leo defeats her using the healing hands technique and when Leo has a goth/emo/punk/idk I’m new here phase and they team up and EXPLOSIONS. He was introduced to us as being incredibly naive and his idea of leadership is from some old cartoon that’s basically star trek but ethically questionable. After his fights in season 1, to the finale with the technodrome, you can see his growth. He’s able to formulate plans and make life or death decisions. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. When Leo got hurt, I felt like the oof sound effect mixed with some tears I normally shed at some Shojo manga bs. While the episodes following were super weird, it was a nice way to help Leo recover, not only physically but spiritually (Although I don’t remember the spirit arc at all except the epic Raph vs Fishface fight, so we’re skipping that). When Master Splinter really died, you could tell there was a huge impact on Leo, but he had to remain stoic and lead the family now. A lot of heartbreaking moments in this series came from Leo and I’m glad they took at least some thought into developing him. Tiny head Leo will haunt my nightmares, but the giggly fanboy will warm my heart constantly. 6/10

I only have one word for this Leo (Heroes in a Half Shell: Blast to the Past)

This is a super crazy bad idea accent on the super crazy bad part have I mentioned it’s also a really terrible idea/10

Okay, spoiler alert, didn’t really think this Leo was that grand Leo (2014/2016)

Painfully average. He didn’t stand out that much, Raph was part of the focus and had that touching scene at the end, Donnie was ICONIC and Mikey (with his weird-ass eyes) was super lively and funny! Leo? Uh, I don’t remember a single line he said. Because he never really grabbed my attention, I don’t have too much to say on this version. The Raph and Leo fight felt forced and the whole ‘keep this stuff that could turn us human a secret’ was pretty pointless and was added just to cause drama, I don’t even remember what that Splinter and Leo conversation was about. Design-wise, really neat! You can see some more traditional Japanese clothing/style mixed with modern (I’d feel a lot better about this assumption if some could tell exactly what the heck he’s wearing, but I get traditional Japan warrior vibes from it) in his look which was super neat! Other than that, if you like him, please tell me why because I don’t get. He was just kinda eh. 5/10

AHHH MY BOY YASSS WHOOO!! Neon Leon (2018)

Okay, I loved Ben Schwarts already from Parks and Rec but like him being Sonic AND Leo, like DUDE. He’s super funny by himself but teamed up with this shows writing and animation, it makes it hilarious. I literally love this Leo so much, maybe because we’re alike but honestly, he’s amazing. I love his design with the red and yellow crescents accenting his skin and livening up his color pallet. He has a very healthy and natural dynamic with his brothers, he’s the first to know what’s wrong and tries his best to make up for his actions. This is really prominent in the most recent episodes, along with the episode portal jacked. In both, Leo is separated from his brothers. Portal Jacked is in a more literal sense, while Air Turtle handles in more of an emotional sense. While both are brief, Leo sees his error and tries his best to make it up to them. I love his dynamic so much and it’s so nice to see something like this compared to the unnecessary drama and tension between the brothers in the previous series. It’s refreshing and this is something a younger audience needs to see; instead of fighting, it’s better to work together and improve yourself along the way. Improvement is a big theme for Leo here. He’s a goofball, makes jokes at every opportunity and isn’t quite skilled at fighting or using his weapon. But he grows over time, he learns to manage his power and he’s working on mastering it. He’s trying to put aside his narcissism more and focuses on his family. I think the approach they took with him rising to leader rather than slapping it on his forehead was the goddamn best decision they could make. He’s making plans, finding loopholes, helping out and getting out of his comfort zone. I cannot stress how well this show has handled Leo, along with the other characters. I can’t wait to see more episodes about his growth and I am awarding him with one of the greatest honors I could give... 10/10

Storytime: I drew a super cute 2012 Leo, you should look at him. Shameless self-promo, but you should follow me on my main blog bc I’m nice and I draw pretty pictures. Also. I have a little 2012 Leo Happy Meal toy??? I think??? guarding my window and he’s been there for YEARS. I need to bring him in and refresh his paint job.

Wow! I didn’t expect this many requests for Leo, so the blog will be momentarily spammed with the requests, but it shouldn’t be too much! Up next should be the last turtle (Mikey) and then we can get to some REALLY great requests I’m eager to answer. As usual, please comment and reblog! I’d love to hear your opinion!

#Tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #leonardo #1987 leo #2003 leo #2012 leo #2014 leo #2016 leo #rottmnt leo #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #asks #I forgot how my tagging system worked

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swearronchanel · 5 years ago

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9.08

wow i cant even think too busy crying

Reggie and Fred 🥰

Ok but is setting all this shit on fire in the middle of the street not some barbaric ass move or is it just me LMAO?

Trixie looks great as always, I still want the white hoops

NURSE CRANE AND THE WRESTLING LMAOAOAO GET OUT LOVE IT

that’s a pretty veil

Shot gun wedding time

This guy is hella familiar ?? Was he on Downton or something?

Poor Elsie

Val giving me sailor vibes lol

Phyllis gives me the vibe of older lady’s who chug beer and yell from the nosebleed seats at baseball games aka me in 40 years

How dare you say Nonnatus’ is unimportant mr tight vest LMAO

I love that Phyllis is making him a sweater LMAO why is it so funny to me

DISCOTECH, Sister Hilda is deff the “cool” nun

You’re telling me that poplar will throw a fundraiser/charity sale thing for anything BUT to save their building??

Sister J’s voice breaking 😢

SAVE NONNATUS 1k65

THEY NEED RENT MONEY

Oh noo they’re gonna kill Elsie off today huh

I forgot Phyllis is a vegetarian, good on her I could never lmao

“Don’t go crying, not in all that eye black” 😭

Throwing up blood oh shit not good

Omg cancer of the esophagus? Jesus

WAIT HE HAS TWO BABY MOMMAS??? BIG YIKESS

SISTER HILDA SHOWING MCNULTY HOW TO DANCE LMAOAOAOA why do I love this?

SISTER PJ’s PAMPHLET “HOW TO DANCE SOCIALLy” LMAOO

“No one wears plimsoles to the discotech” 😂 plimsoles are like white sneakers right?

you really have to be an addict to wanna play with needles and inject yourself all the time 🥴 Issa no from me

The midwife with the curly perm 🤣

Ok I agree sister Hilda deff has a soothing voice. Her accent is very velvet-y

Poor Val this is so heartbreaking 💔Let me call my grandmas after this

Wow there goes my stream 🤬🙄

ok I’m back

“Every land mark I ever knew seems to be falling down” 💔

Sister J and Lucille comforting Val ugh this is too many feels

I can’t wait till this cheating ass mf gets caught LMAO

OFC Phyllis would be the one to notice the missing drogas

Fred checking his watch is a mood like he does not have the time for this shit LMAO

Councilor Buckle you better step it up LMAO

TELL HER PHYLLIS!

Sister Hilda’s voice is actually calming me rn LMAO ((my laptop has been stressing me out all day))

LMAO THIS IS IT OMG

HE CAUGHT

SMACK HIM UP MOMMA!!!!

HE DESERVES MORE THAN A HANDBAG TO THE HEAD HE NEEDA CATCH THESE MF HANDS LMAOAOOA

Phyllis is like what the fuck is going on here today??🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Elsie coming home 😢my freaking heart

Now they’re both gonna be in the maternity home OFC

Ugh I cant deal this hits too close

LET TRIXIE SPEAK

ALSO LET ME SIGN THE PETITION

“Oh no” LMAO ofc they’re put next to each other

NOW EDDIE SHOWS UP OMG GET OUT LMAO

“You’re loving her. That’s the only medicine she wants” stop omg my heart 💔😭

CTM don’t you dare make me feel bad for this guy lmaoo

Sister MJ 🥺 angel on earth

“The good stuff” is that not suspicious to anyone who doesn’t already know?

“She was here the night you were born. I recollect her” Ok I’m hysterical bye

Sister Hilda is underrated and I’ll keep saying it lol

Eddie with the 2 bouquets 😂

“I grew up arching women brawling in the street...but I’m not gonna fight you for him.” Remember the brawl from the pilot ep

YES TRIXIE YOU SPEAK!!!

“They gritted their teeth and that’s just what I’m doing now” ugh this is too much

I won’t ever have a baby bc Phyllis Crane can’t be my midwife so why bother LMAOO jkkk

poor Petra tho :((

“A memory like a firework exploded in my mind”

GRATITUDE LETTERS 🥺

GOD D*MN IT SISTER MJ HAS DONE IT AGAIN

“I was never more proud of you when I saw you wearing that [nonnatus uniform]” 😭😭😭

I am in actual tears and I can not deal

And McNulty is down

GOD SISTER FRANCES WHERE IS THAT VOW OF SILENCE BC UR NOT HELPING LMAO

The community rallying for Nonnatus we STAN

ARE THEY SAYING “PISS OFF OF OUR MIDWIFES” LMAOO I CANT HEAR AND HAVE NO SUBTITLES RIP

“I prefer to be referred to as NURSE Franklin in a professional setting” YES MY QUEEN !!! TELL HIM

NURSE BEATRIX FRANKLIN SAID DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY!!

THIS IS THE MOMENT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR !!!

“YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE CALLED US BY OUR NAME!! BUT DO NOT THINK WE WILL NOT BE MISSED IF YOU WIPE US OUT COMPLETELY” YOU FUCKING GOO BEATRIX OMGG WHAT A DAMN GOOD SPEECH!!!

BUDGET FUCKING RESTORED HELL YEA

for 12 months is that catch but you know SCREW YOUR CATCH, Nonnatus will go on somehow as long as NURSE Franklin has a say!!!

I mean at least for series 11 they have to make do somehow? We’ll see

NOOO OMG ELSIE CAN’T DIE WHILE VAL ISN’T THERE

I’m literally drowning in my own tears Oh my god

now they’re singing Amazing Grace might as well just rip my heart out with your bare hands 💔😭😭😭😭

Val with the ice cream cone ugh 😢it’s so sad

Reminds me of how I missed my abuelo passing by literally 7 mins. After a 5 hour drive, legit 7 mins late...

They tried to make McNulty go to rehab but he said no, no, noooooo

IM SORRY I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF LAUGH BC IM LITERALLY A SOBBING MESS

I wonder why they never bring up Patrick’s mental health anymore? like he wan’t magically cured for life

the “for now” sign on Nonnatus omg

LMDOAOAOA THE FIREWORK OMGGG

FRED THANKS FOR EVERY LAUGH

TRIXIE LOOKS GREAT AND HAD THE RIGHT IDEA LMAO

“I love you Nurse Anderson” MY HEART MAY BE REPAIRED, GIVE ME A WEDDING

Petra lost the baby aww poor gal

wow i’m emo but they all look happy during the bonfire 🥺

Poor Val is breaking but at least she’s got her gals

“Welcome the darkness, embrace it as a canopy from which the stars can hang, for there are always stars when we are where we ought to be...The darkness is beautiful for how else can we shine?”✨✨😭😭😭

She said more that I loved but couldn’t hear it all over the sound of my UGLY CryING

This reminds me of what Sister Hilda said a few eps back ugh I’m having too many feelings let me log off until Christmas

#call the midwife #live blogging #I have many feels #but that's a wrap

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sturmxundxdrang · 5 years ago

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2 0 1 9 ;

so, following what i did for 2016 and 2018, let me write a little recap of this year, and talk a little about the decade.

starting off by the goals i set last year:

“I hope to have at least intermediate German. I’m almost there, but not yet.” | i do feel like i got a lot better with my German, but i did leave it a little aside with all the college stuff i had this year. to be quite honest, i’m not even sure what’s my level right now.

“I’ll focus on the guitar, and won’t let my frustration burn me out.” | i did focus a lot more on the guitar! i started classes back again with my childhood teacher, and i felt like i did get better.

“Exercise more and get a better sleep schedule.” | well, failed on the exercising thing lol but my sleep schedule got better for the most part. i do slip and have bad weeks now and then, especially now during the holidays, but i felt that work helped me with that.

“Focus more on college, this last semester was very tough.” | i’m not even going to lie, i could’ve focused more.

“Do more things I usually wouldn’t, like going out to do something on my own, and hopefully being to drive by myself.” | driving is something i’m getting used to slowly, hopefully next year i get better. but i did do a lot of things on my own this year.

“Read & write more, or at least more than I did in 2018.” | i did read more! i was able to read some books that were on my list for a long time, and i have a bunch of books to read in 2020. i didn’t write as much, but got some poetry done.

“Watch more movies, strike a few from my list.” | a list with over 300 movies is terrifying lol i did watch more movies than last year, and i did go to the movies more often tho, but i think i focused more on series.

“Meet more people, go out more.” | i’d say i was pretty outgoing? i met new people, made more friends, went to a different city with a friend of mine, and of course, i went to a whole new country.

“Be more organized.” | i think i improved? but i do have to get better.

“Focus on my religion & study more, try to keep a consistent schedule and all that.” | see, this i did do! i followed my yearly calendar, learned a lot more. i didn’t study much, but religion-wise i’m improving.

“Find a hobby that will help me relax, something that I can do without pushing myself too much, because I frustrate myself a lot.” | i still wasn’t able to find something to focus on that doesn’t stress me out lmao but i will!

now... wow, what do i even say about this year? remember i said last year that this year would be even better? in my opinion, it was full on h e l l , but at the same time, it was amazing. i had many battles, a LOT of stress, heartbreak, disappointments, but, y’know what... i learned and i was happy a lot too. i can’t exactly remember much, this year was so fast but also took so long? it felt like two entire years in one. i can’t remember most of the first half, to be quite honest. i know i did something fun on my birthday and that it was good, but i can’t tell you what exactly.

this entire year was about being on edge. i was scared for my life and my family a lot of times, i still am. if you follow politics and world news, you know brazil isn’t a very good place right now. it’s never been quite good, but it’s been way better than right now. i’ve argued a lot about politics, i cried a lot, i got stressed. i study law, politics is a big part of it, but even if it wasn’t... every single fucking thing is political. you can say it’s stupid, but if you don’t live in this country, you can’t tell me i’m a fool for being nervous. but as i’ve cried, i also learned to be numb about it, or just mad. it’s just one of those things you need to fight to change, and maybe one day we will.

this year was also about new experiences. i managed to go to a new city with a friend i wasn’t very close to but that trip was amazing. we saw amazing bands, i put us on the first row, we had such an amazing time. it was about singing in a studio for the first time when my guitar teacher decided he wanted me to be his band’s vocalist, and slowly get used to singing in front of other people. it was about being alone in a new country and finding my way to where i needed to be. about meeting my best friends and the city i hope to call home not far from now. about getting my heart broken by someone and having to learn how to deal with it. it was about confessing love, too, even if it wasn’t returned.

2019 took me a friend that last year i thought to be very important. and he was, truly. but sometimes people aren’t meant to be in your life, and that’s fine. sometimes we never fully know someone despite knowing them for a very long time. but it was also the year that gave me three new friends that became a huge part of my life (for the boys Soto, Cam and Wyn, i’m grateful that 2019 brought us together) and that i hope stays in my life for a long time. sometimes it is like that, you lose someone but the universe has a way of gifting you with better people. it was like this in 2018 too.

2019 also ended on a great note for me. it had been 4 years without contact with someone that used to be my best friend, but december brought him back into my life, and not only that but he also gave me my first tattoo that is full of meanings. it was the year my faith got stronger and that i recognized someone that has been there for me for a long time, and that i now know that i should trust. it’s been a year full of roller coasters and feeling high and then low, and i’m not going to lie, some of these last few weeks of the year hurt like fucking hell because of this one guy, but i learned to trust my gods and know that i can’t always control everything. what is mine is waiting for me.

this year changed my self-esteem, and i thank my goddess for that. i went from panic attacks because nothing looked good on me into crying of joy because all of the three options for nye look so good on me that i can’t decide which one i’ll wear - it seems silly, but it meant a lot to me. my confidence with my english also is growing, i rarely ever speak but berlin with the band helped me a lot and i was even able to be on the phone with Lily for an entire hour (and she knows damn well how i was about small audio messages, this was huge improvement for me).

this was the year i finally stepped foot on the city i am absolutely sure i belong to. walking those streets finally felt like home, and the gods know how much i longed for a place like that. it was the feeling of being home, with the three girls that 2018 gifted me as a family, and just exploring places we’ll soon know like the palm of our hands. i can’t wait to walk through those museums again knowing we have enough time, we’re not going anywhere anymore, there’s no flight to catch in a few days.

i have so much to be grateful for: my friends, my family, my gods and goddesses, everyone that stuck around and helped me grow. this was such a crazy journey but it’s nice to see how much i changed, hopefully for the best. i learned, and am still learning, to accept parts of myself i would usually ignore, and sides i was ashamed to show.

i wish i could remember much more, but my memory isn’t really known as the best. who knows, next year i might try to log my months so 31. dec, 2020 will be easier to write this thing.

all in all, it was a bittersweet year. i’m glad it’s over, and i’m ready to start again, write those chapters and keep on taking control of my own history. next year will be hard. college will probably not be very nice on me, but we’ll keep on going. if i made it through 21 years of my life, i can make it through another one.

now... i don’t know what to say about the decade. i came in as an 11 year old kid that wanted the world, and i left as an adult that knows that i deserve the world. i met many people that i don’t talk to anymore but that remains as important to me as they were back then. i made so many friends from places i’d never dream of, i learned so much about the world just through a screen in a way my parent’s wouldn’t have dreamed of at my age, i changed so much. i remember in 2010 when i met the dude that gave me a gift: the band that saved my life and that gave me the best friends i could have asked for. he was in my life for a very short time but he means a lot still. 2011 when i first learned about straight edge, and got back into wrestling. 2012 was when i got my first guitar, the gift i wanted for a very long time. 2013 was when i finally decided to share what i wrote with the internet. 2014 i met one of the wrestlers i admired the most. 2015 i finished high school, my personal hell that i finally was over with and also when i first heard about what would become my religion. 2016 i saw my favorite band for the first time, and when i started Law school. 2017 was when i met Lily, and also when i cut off a very toxic friendship, i was finally learning that i deserved better. 2018, another toxic friendship gone, but also the year that the gods brought me my beloved bandmates. and 2019: the year i had one of my biggest dreams coming true. and you know what? i’m sure my 11 yo self would be proud of the person i am right now.

may 2020 and the next decade make more of my dreams come through, may i end the next decade living safely in the place i want to be in, with my family in a good place as well. i hope next year will be better.

and to not break the traditions, some goals:

be able to play the guitar in front of other people

get my German better

maybe get started with the piano

try to write more poetry and maybe finish a book

write more song lyrics for RH

keep the project going with my local band

do more things by myself

read more books

be more organized and maybe learn to follow a schedule

dedicate myself more to my religion & my craft

start the process of moving out

get a side job

be nicer and more patient

be more disciplined

save more money

find that hobby!!

well, there’s a lot more than last year, but here’s to a better year, a better decade, filled with success and accomplishments. i’m very grateful for all of the experiences i had so far.

#vamp #fav #2019 #year recap #year review

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matstegen · 6 years ago

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hello im new to football and i found this club, Fc Barcelona, really cool. Can you tell me why people would say that this is the best club in the world ???

oh no.. who said that? you’re being scammed honey

jsfkjskgs just kidding. welcome to football!! if you’re really asking why we’re the best club in the world.. i have to tell you the harsh truth that we, at the moment, are not the best club. we used to, though. if you asked me5-10 years ago, i’d be ready to write lengthy paragraphs on why we are the best club in the world.

are we one of the best club in history? yeah, sure. i do believe that barça is one of the best and the biggest club in history. i could say that our identity, our philosophy, our style, our value, our history, and our legacy are our best qualities. you could see how we became an example to the modern football world. cast your mind to the guardiola era and you’ll have the easiest, prime example. you’ve got to witness the tiki-taka, the total football that cruyff and pep have left for us; our beautiful and highly attractive attacking style that fans all over the world would gush about; or the gifted, talented players that would execute the tactic perfectly. beautiful. personally, i don’t think there is another club that could be that enjoyable to watch since our guardiola era. we were so passionate and invincible. that was honestly one of the best moment every culés have ever witnessed. the first time i saw the first pass, i knew i’m just gonna be in love. like, football could be played with such devastating, irresistible beauty?? with such precision and art?? but of course, that era is already almost over, and sadly, our club’s identity has deviated over the years due to the bad management of the board and how the postmodern, instant football world work.

but do you know why we culés love barça so much and still think we’re the best? (spoiler: actually no tho tbh but listen) as the motto said, ‘més que un club’ - barça is more than just a club. to many of us, it’s more like a feeling. 5 or 10 years ago we were the best club in the world but today we’re not. but we’re still going to be here. albeit i fell in love at the first pass, i’m still going to be in love with the ugly 999th of them. it’s not about the technical qualities we ever had. or the glory of a team so beautiful the history could cry. players, squad, style, and winning are temporary… but the feeling is there. barça is an everlasting symbol of the catalan pride, that although i as an international fan would never really understand, my respect for them run deeply. barça makes you feel that the fans’s existent are important. our connection run so deep, from the glory and longing nostalgia of pep’s era, the pride from our historic remontadas, the tears over the departure of our important figures like tito and cruyff, the joy and ecstasy over messi’s magic that we all are too lucky to witness, or the heartbreak over losses and our legends retiring like puyi, valdes, xavi, and iniesta… to maybe our unified hatred to valverde de clown and bartomeu. haha.

so yeah.. although our club might not be the best in the world at the moment, and their football isn’t pleasing nor enjoyable anymore; barça would still always be the best club.. at least for me. (who’s the clown now?) because i love barça with all my heart, and the moments i live ever since i become one of them are the memories i’ll always deem as the most beautiful ones. i belong here as much as any culés would feel. our path from now on is not going to be beautiful, though. just like an era.. everything has its end.. and we’re going through it right now.

but barça would always be more than a club for me. so i hope that pretty much explains what you asked. it’s so complicated to explain, but when you have something you love you’ll just understand. we’re just delusional clowns!

#for once i won't care that i don't make sense but truly #this is so disgusting KSDJKEHJSE IM EMBARRASSED I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED AT WHO SCAMMED YOU #i remembered one post that is more poetic and beautiful but i can't find it #it's from 4-5 years ago #WAIT UNTIL I FIND IT #ask #anonymous

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depressed-sock · 6 years ago

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Hey socks! Love your work on here also so does my gf, she gets really excited when she sees new stuff on your blog and the amount of times she’s shoved me off the couch so that I’ll read an angsts one with her is a blessing (we both love the gerbil incident the best tho). Saw Bingo come up so thought I’d put a surprise request in for her: Charge with n!SS Memory loss, Ortega finds really a civilian SS at that cafe but SS doesn’t remember them; they really were a John/ane Doe after HB. Thank you!

Bad Things Happen Bingo

A Fallen Hero Fanfic

Memory Loss

Ortega and Sidestep

Thank you! I was so happy to read this that I ended up reading it multiple times!! I’m glad you’ve both enjoyed the stories so much!!

(Also just to give everyone a heads up, this is only something I discovered recently, but the Initials SS have some very bad connections. So it might be best to just use Sidestep/ Step/Mc. You can even use CB for me and I’ll know who you mean.)

It’s a broken rush of air, a word whispered and then almost shouted. It couldn’t be them… it couldn’t and yet here they were. Sitting at a table in a dinner you had stepped into by chance.

A single chance that’s immediately turned your world upside down. They don’t seem to hear you or acknowledge that you’ve said their name. Maybe you’re wrong, maybe you’re seeing things in a person who looks so like them.

But then they look up. Eyes meeting yours for a second before turning back to the food in front of them. And despite the lack of recognition in their face you know it’s them. They’re unmistakable, their features burned into your mind from hours of looking at a broken photograph.

"CB is that really you?“ Your steps have brought you towards them and they look up at you confused. Body moving subtly into a defensive stance. A rush of fear widening their eyes as they stare at you.

"I’m sorry what?” Their face runs through emotions, reexamining what you said before scrunching in confusion, studying you cautiously as you stop inches from their table.

"CB it’s me,“ your voice sounds desperate even to your own ears, “Don’t kid like this. I thought you were dead.”

"I’m sorry but I think you’re confused. I really don’t know who you are and that’s not my name,“ they shake their head, looking at you apologetically. Still defensive but coming to the conclusion you’ve made a mistake. You haven’t. You swear you haven’t. This… this isn’t what you expected. Fuck, you didn’t even expect to find them alive let alone this.

You want to argue, say something more but you’re cut off by another voice. One that sends chills down your spine. An echo of the past brought straight to the present.

"Eden is everything alright?” Hallow Ground asks and you can’t help the glare you send their way as they take the seat across from CB. Their smile like a viper as they bring their elbows onto the table, head leaning into their hands.

"Everything’s fine, just a mix-up,“ CB says casually with a shrug, leaning back into their seat as they immediately relax. Their face is soft and open. No lies, no secrets that are usually hidden by masks upon masks. It’s so different from what you remember. So different compared to Hallow Ground. Whose face holds barely contained contempt towards you.

Hollow Ground. CB is with Hollow Ground. It’s a punch to the gut you had never expected. You found them only to have them immediately wrenched from your hands again. You don’t know what Hollow Ground has done to them but you can’t leave them like this… with them.

"Listen to me, I don’t know what’s going on with you but your name is CB. This person is not your friend. You are Side-”

"I think that’s enough,“ Hollow Ground’s hand slams on the table, drawing your attention fully back to them. "This obviously isn’t who you believe it to be and I think it’s time you accepted that.” A sharp smile twitching on their lips as they stare you down.

"Maybe we should just go,“ CB’s voice sounds so soft, so careful. Tones used by someone who is afraid of making another angry. It almost hurts to hear exactly how scared they are right now. And when your head snaps back to them it’s clear to see that it’s you they’re scared of.

"Of course Eden, why don’t you head out to the car,” Hollow Ground’s voice is sweet and calming, eyes soft as they watch CB leave without a fight. Their face turning to stone as the door swings shut behind CB. “You shouldn’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong Charge.”

"What did you do to them?“ You grit your teeth not bothering to hide your anger.

"All I did,” they slap cash on the table as they stand to lean close to whisper, “Was be there for someone you abandoned.”

You can’t find a response for that, what can you even say to that? There is no comeback that will make it so you found CB after heartbreak. No way you can demand them let CB go. For better or worse CB trusts Hollow Ground more than the stranger you are now to them.

#Anonymous #fallen hero rebirth #Ortega #sidestep #bad things happen bingo #my writing #long post

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kae-karo · 6 years ago

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marianas trench: phantoms

the absurd album overanalysis, commentary, and ranking nobody asked for

first, my personal ranking (don’t get me wrong tho i love the entire damn album):

1. wish you were here 1. don’t miss me 1. the death of me 2. your ghost 2. the killing kind 3. only the lonely survive 3. echoes of you 4. glimmer 4. i knew you when 4. eleonora

the album as a whole: oh such an awesome story and so awesomely inspired by the horror genres?? i think some of the non-singles hit the horror mark better but like oh my god it’s such a cool vibe the whole entire thing???? i know the concept was like,,,,,,descent into madness but you can totally feel this struggle with it and with the idea of a doomed/dead relationship, it’s just so so well done??? my one complaint is that i’m not musically inclined enough to recognize where all the references are bc unlike in no place like home and dearly departed, there aren’t really as many lyric references to other albums/songs, it’s more the music. and i know it well enough to go ‘oh that’s familiar, for sure’ but i can’t for the life of me figure out where from (in most cases)

eleonora: i mean the title is based on the short story by edgar allan poe (x) true to theme from the beginning, which (long story short) is about a woman the narrator falls in love with (well, his cousin) but she’s ill and will die, blah blah blah she does and the narrator vows never to marry anyone else but later he does and his first love comes back from beyond the grave to give her blessing for the new marriage - already basically i’m getting vibes of like,,,,,,a genuine desire to move on? which is great imo and like a step forward from previous albums? plus the whole acapella delivery is super reminiscent of so it goes (x) and the layered voices reminiscent of the intro to end of an era (x). plus we have the direct ref to the raven (x) by poe with ‘midnight dreary’. also the idea of ‘don’t hush’ which is later touched on as ‘just hush’ in the killing kind? oof interesting v v interesting

only the lonely survive: a bop a massive bop but! also! just a very intriguing take (at least to me) on a doomed-to-fail relationship, the idea that you can actively acknowledge a relationship is hurting both parties but...choose to stay. i also like the idea (which i might just be extrapolating) that to truly live, to have a really poignant relationship, you have to sort of give yourself over to it? ‘only the lonely survive’ - only those who isolate themselves truly ‘get out alive’ if you will but like, that’s the beauty of putting yourself out there? is like, you truly feel everything, i guess. ‘it hurts like hell to love this well’ sort of touches on that same idea for me. anyway the whole thing goes hard as hell and i love it. ‘he’ll never know you / not the way that i knew you’ we love intra-album references !!!

echoes of you: okay didn’t love this at first bc it felt repetitive (and it was coming on the heels of only the lonely survive which i adored) but it also felt really unique and a little different? when the released it as a single, it’s the first time i thought of this album as truly horror-inspired and totally picked up on the tell-tale heart vibe (x) which was just so interesting, i love how stories like that have turned into these really fresh songs that still call back to these kinds of madness-inspiring stories - that a love can inspire that kind of madness, even when it’s gone. i also wonder if the idea of ‘can’t stop myself from falling now’ has less to do with falling in love (which is, for me, the immediate connotation) and more to do with ‘falling into madness’. the verses and the tempo are so well-paced as well, like this frantic feeling? then the chorus comes in with this suspenseful set of chords? and the theremin in the background!!!! the best way to give a truly Spooky™ vibe. the idea of tell-tale heart, the story, too, is that the narrator is trying to sound completely sane, and explain the murder they’ve committed and why it was justified - that goes along with the theme of this album, too, where there’s this undercurrent of trying to insist that the doomed relationship is somehow justifiable

don’t miss me?: oh i adore this and the idea of ‘oh hah yeah no i don’t miss you like at all,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you ‘not miss me’ too?’ and like this,,,,,,not obsession but the idea of trying to actively move past missing someone? but just constantly getting caught up on it? unrelated to the meaning but oh my god the little background vocals, adore it. ‘some people try to raise the dead / some people try to live instead’ is like. that’s one of those things that i lowkey would love to get tattooed on my body or something. just really good words, because that’s what it’s like moving on from a rough relationship - and it’s hard to like, see that when you’re in the thick of it? bc like imagine losing a loved one and trying to bring them back to life - we’ve all heard the story, it’s never what’s expected, it’s never quite right and the same goes for relationships. and so, the idea of living instead, of moving on. also the vocal run up to the high note toward the end (x - look idk Music Words) reminds me of something but i can’t quite place it. also ‘i don’t remember why we stayed’ and then in wish you were here, we get ‘i don’t recall now why we’re buried’ which is a fun contradiction

wish you were here: that middle-of-the-night madness that goes alongside one love (x) like,,,,,if you took it one step on the other side of madness and entertained the idea of reviving a relationship that should be dead. except it’s such a bop unlike one love, like it sounds a lot like it could be on astoria, and it’s got that back beat matching this means war (x) in fact, it feels like the exact polar opposite of this means war (like...instead of ‘lmao i’m totally awesome without you’ it’s like ‘i’m,,,,,maybe not doing so great without you, shit i really wish you were here, wish we were together’)? but with the same sort of vibe in terms of the music itself? and the outro (x) reminds me hardcore of something else i can’t quite place

your ghost: this one also reminds me a lot of the general vibe of astoria with hints of like. modern touches? this one reminds me a lot of wildfire actually? (x) but a bit more upbeat? like that guitar style i think is what does it. it feels a lot like there’s this...almost unwilling pull toward the idea of ‘madness’ that they’re focused on, like....a sort of awareness of the descent? also the softer bit toward the end where it’s just josh and the guitar (x) reminds me a lot of something that i once again cannot place for the life of me

glimmer: oh no,,,,,,,,,okay first this (it’s just audio but tumblr won’t let me add audio on its own in a post like this):

youtube

so my first and most important comment is that all i can think about when i hear this song is ‘halo by beyonce halo by beyonce halo by beyonce halo by beyonce’ and it tends to run over everything else lmao. but! i think conceptually it’s more of that descent into madness, into seeing some sort of trace of a relationship, like some sort of residual glimmer that sticks to things, to people. ‘it’s funny what you find when you go without’, like the idea of....probably hallucinating in a sense, but starting to see the relationship/the other person everywhere, on everything, when you’re missing them? even to the point that, when the person comes back, maybe the memories of that relationship stick around too - ‘you’ve changed but it’s not enough / and doubt is insidious / creeps up on you softly / i can’t get it off me, i can’t get it off me now’ like this idea that even though it’s something wanted, to come back together (no matter how bad it might end up), memories and the past can’t really be forgotten - ‘you’ve changed but it’s not enough’ - very reminiscent of wildfire (x - ‘so now you show up when you’re alone again / but we haven’t changed, but now you’re interested) ngl too the overall feeling of the song reminds me of one love? (x)

i knew you when: so this song sorta came out of nowhere to me, like it felt weird and off-kilter like...i knew you when? when what? but like. now it makes a lot more sense, in this sort of...well, twisted way. it feels like things have been twisted around. it comes off the back of glimmer, too, and i think that’s like - oh, these memories are here, lingering, and this is almost a deep-dive into them? it tells a bit of a story and i think it’s less abstract, but it definitely harps hard on the idea that ‘i’ve been loving, loving you too long to just sudden-suddenly move on from this’ that sort of encompasses the entire album really cleanly. it’s interesting, actually, it almost feels like a very sincere moment of clarity and specificity amidst a mess of this drifting toward ‘madness’, but still hinting at that little bit of ‘okay but if you want to....i’ll know you then’, this like concession to that madness, an indulgence in it?

the death of me: oh catch me melting over the transition between songs, utterly seamless. love it. this one is another one that like....feels like a breath of clarity in awareness? like this acknowledgment that there’s something off, this lingering desire for someone from the past, that there’s an emptiness, that this new thing isn’t right, even if it’s something wanted. because other wanted things (or people) make it impossible. i think it’s also the first time in a while where another party (ie not them nor the person they’ve got this tangled relationship with throughout the album so far) is mentioned which is v interesting. i think this track does an excellent job of bringing a ghostly vibe to it, the echoing vocals and background sounds, they almost elicit this feeling of like. the person is drifting away from the person they’re trying to make a new start with, like literally drifting? almost being pulled in by the ‘madness’? and it’s a heartbreaking song, too, bc there’s this emanating desperation to like...move on? and make things work? but this acknowledgement that...maybe that’s not happening? maybe it’s not possible? maybe there’s too much baggage, in a sense? there’s also that very long outro that starts off a little intriguing, adventurous almost, and then descends into this frightening crescendo (x - that also has a hint of something else in it) before these voices come in, crescendoeing again into this sudden stop and then you’ve got josh saying ‘save me from myself’ which i feel like is a reference?????? also cannot believe they made me download that and reverse it so i could figure that out lmao

the killing kind: it wouldn’t be a mt album without a song that’s all over the place and somehow still cohesive and intriguing, huh? oh big mood for the intro, with the very great imagery of wandering a haunted house at night, staring into the shadows, and then ‘the killing kind’ - i think the whole thing is a super interesting concept, again, this acceptance of some of the fault in a failed relationship? ‘but you’ve been haunted too’ and yet not all of it, i think a lot of media represents things as black and white, with all the blame on one person, when that’s rarely the case? anyway, it’s interesting it’s addressed. ‘nevermore’ of course being another edgar allan poe reference (disclaimer there may be other references i’m missing since i’m not massively well-read in the horror genre) i’m also intrigued by ‘can’t get out / from under it / nevermore to leave here’, is that a lover dearest (x) reference? bc that’s what came to mind, honestly. again, excellent with the background vocals giving that eerie vibe. and then the stephen king ‘it’ reference with ‘we all float down here’. ngl that one feels a little forced but again, i’m like. not well-read in the horror genre so there may be more layers to that one than i know. ‘it gazes back / sings to me / i know my love can be the killing kind’ - i think this is interesting that it sings back, that feels very much like a callback that maybe their own previous songs are hinting at the love being ‘the killing kind’. also ‘you should never be here’ makes me think of something (x) the hard guitar/violins in the background during ‘here and now / this is it’ etc remind me of something else. and then ofc we have the astoria run/vocals (x) and then the ref to echoes of you (although it sounds like the slightest pitch lower than in echoes of you?) and then the whole bit with ‘don’t love the bottle’ i swear on my life it sounds like it comes from somewhere? same with the background melody? but i have no idea where, it just sounds like a reference. and then we have the background little melody (x) after he says ‘a hidden melody’ so it’s like reinforced that it’s a reference but idk where from rip lmao. edit: ty to the lovely anon who mentioned it’s from masterpiece theater!!!!! and once again a++++ use of a theremin in the background for max spooky vibes. also ‘evermore’ is totally a reference to ever after (x) along with the little lift after that (i assume) and then the whole acapella bit calls back to eleonora and the ‘now’ bit to something (x) plus the ‘hear me now’ from something wow i’m great at this game lmao as well as the ‘don’t you hear me’ part. ‘we could be together here / forever we’re together bound in madness’ i think again a lover dearest and then ofc we have the vocal runs from something (x) and then the strong background violin from another thing (yeah yeah i know they’re all references i just don’t know what from) and then he says ‘just hush eleonora’ which, as previously mentioned, is a very intriguing development from ‘don’t hush’ like this,,,,,,acceptance of the madness? and then ofc he says ‘eleonoria’ in ref to astoria. edit: also the whole ending is so so similar to the ending of ever after

#marianas trench #phantoms #kt #oh my god i'm so bad at musical references #when it's lyrics i got it easily #but oh my god #someone sned hlep #this feels so incomplete #ah well c'est la vie i suppose

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breezy-cheezy · 6 years ago

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Mmmmmkay I have to rant about Nier: Automata for a bit; I accidentally triggered the end of the game (playthrough 2, ending B) last night and stayed up till 2:00 trying to finish the stupid “not allowed to save” phase. But y’aLL IT’S SO GOOD??????? AND 3RD PLAYTHROUGH ISN’T ANOTHER RE-RUN OF THE SAME STORY WE GET MORE STORY AAAAAAAAA

(more under the cut because there is ALOT for those who care;;;;;)

- OK SO THE MUSIC IS AMAZING??? I love LOVE that the music dynamics build in instruments and intensity as you progress towards danger/plot, but also softens again for quieter moments and just...musical storytelling is so sooooo my jam I love it. Also that the music goes 8 bit when 9S hacks stuff, it’s actually kinda cute X’D

- ON THE SUBJECT of 9S being able to hack into enemies and you getting to play that as a little teeny ship shooting down viruses and barriers and whatnot. Genius???? That added SO MUCG to the story on the second playthrough as 9S. Particularly discovering the fact that all of humanity?? Is actually extinct?? ...even BEFORE the aliens/machines attacked earth?? WH A T?????? WHAT THE HECK ARE ANDROIDS FIGHTING FOR THEN????? *every time an android salutes and says “glory to mankind” now* GLORY MY FOOT THEY ALL DEAD MOVE ON--

- I realize it probably has alot to do with the lore of previous nier games and I’ll probably have to trawl through Wiki pages soon here. Emil himself really broke my heart aaaaaah baby...his side quest is so sad. I also looked at arts and he was a really cute kid?? Before he was turned int the freaky moon skeleton thing...?? Oh my goodness......

- The secret lunar tear flower room is gorgeous. I just sat there for awhile to soak it all in...the music is so nostalgic and I’ve never heard that song bfore how do y’all DO THAT--

- Emil’s shop is pretty cute. He just drives around the ruins and sells stuff if you shoot him and he’ll stop X’’’D It did ruin alot of serious moments tho. *Engels, talking about how he’d sinned for killing so many androids and choosing death--* “S-A-L-E SAAAALLLEEE~~!! EVERY SALE’S A WIIIINNNNNN~~~~!!!! LALALaaaaaa~~~...” Me: *facepalm*

- ...I just realized the little tune he sings is a cheerful rendition of the music in the flower room. H E C K

- ANYWAY. Onto the actual game. I really really enjoyed playing as 9S for obvious reasons (bABY) but it really did add so soooo much to the pretty much surface level story when you first play as 2B. Which sums them up pretty well...2B, Battle unit 2, pushes on relentlessly, avoids thinking too hard about things and what she’s doing because oh dear, EMOTION might get in the way...9S, Scanner unit 9, on the other hand, cannot stop his curiosity. He asks questions, he sticks his nose in way further than he should to some dangerous stuff. I think he realized Machines were sentient and had feelings long before 2B, but was in denial for a good while. You learn so much more about what you’re fighting as 9S, because he scans. He observes, searches, discovers. Heck, some hacking caused him to experience empathy for the poor things, to his horror...

- Actually, there are alot of scenes where either 2B or 9S questions why a machine they’re killing is screaming for help, of crying for lost family, or loudly proclaiming loyalty to a king they’ll give their lives for...they stop for a moment, but the other quickly jumps in and reminds them that it’s just imitation. It’s not real, it’s fake, machines can’t feel, yadda yadda...it was odd to me they kept switching off on reminding, but...I think they both know, deep down, what they’re doing. But denial. Because if machines DO have feelings, if they are sentient...what does that mean for all they’ve killed...? Just...hoo BOY the moral dellimas in this game?? Scary good. The quests get that across alot.

- I don’t like the theme of hopelessness in most of the side quests?? I do see many of them as cautionary tales though. We watch many characters lose hope and the will to live after their thing/person they’re living FOR is gone. It makes me worry alot about 2B, who is a soldier through and through. 9S actually does have hopes and dreams for things outside of the war, which I love ;7; they definitely lean on each other alot emotionally on this respect though...I don’t know quite what to make of the themes of the game this far in yet;;;;

- The love between 9S and 2B is of course my favorite thing. Familial, romantic, idk. I, being me, see it as more platonic, “You’re my rock in this storm” only friend/sister/brother vibe, but as more of a fan of platonic relationships, that is what I tend to do. But 9s following 2B around like a lost puppy and trying to do all he can to help and do his job but also getting bored with said job and trying to make the most of things, asking all the “why” questions, 2B acting irritated but also always keeps him close and makes sure he’s safe....going ballistic when someone hurts her boy ;;v;; I love...2 kids. Their operators and pods are such fun dynamics too~~

- As far as endings A and B...DANG. It hit worse because you get backstory on the giant ocean machine (that 9S just hit with a giant missle, which he also had to ride to keep it on the right path...DX NO SELF PRESERVATION) he just...wanted his mama......;;A;;

- Also it’s not fair. 9S is so injured by that missle attack, then I guess Adam finds him and is like “HM. *sticks the lil boy impaled on a wall* Perfect. *proceeds to emotionally and mentally torture said child*“ like YO ADAM THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THINGS. Then 2B proceeds to kick down walls for her boy and kills Adam and walks off carrying 9S bridal style into the sunset. Lovely. I have a comic idea for this part, lol.

- Oh I don’t like Adan very much, he is pretty tho?? There was alot of blood though...how do machines bleed?? How do the androids bleed?? What??? I question this alot.

- HHHHHHH THE BECOME AS GODS CHAPTER SCARED ME I DON’T EVER WANNA DO THAT AGAIN DANG SUICIDAL ROBOTS SCARED ME SO BAD

- Fighting Eve was...annoying but still heartbreaking. He misses his brother so much....even though Adam is a butthead and couldn’t care less he left his little brother behind DX just everything about that fight was Tragic. Also Eve developing more self awareness and realizing “Eve” is a girl’s name and being a bit miffed LOL that’s what y’all get when your first book is the bible kiddos...I realize they’re technically like what? 2 weeks old still???

- The ENDING. From 9S’s perspective is especially scary....the corruption transforming him, 2B coming in to kill him to stop the pain, he BEGGED her to, just....hhhhhhh babies ;;A;; 2B’s soft broken crying over him as she’s forced to strangle her only friend to death just aaaaaAAAAAAAA I DIE ;;;;;;;;~;;;;;;;;;

- I was actually able to cry over it this time coz. It was 2 am. No parent awkwardly watching over my shoulder. Because the pose for this scene is...........super awkward..........like......really........their clothes are super torn up and uh. The first time I was just hoping my parents wouldn’t mistake it for a sex scene or something hhhhhghhhhh;;;;;; I really really REALLY wish the pose was different, the game does need to give the fanservice a rest, at LEAST for a scene this serious DX I’m able to ignore it but when someone else is watching I don’t wanna have to explain;;;;

- That IS a big gripe I have with the game. The fanservice. Just. Why. How is 2B’s outfit practical?? Self destruct mode???? REALLY???? Get this girl battle shorts or something please.....I guess if I looked at it more as a ballet outfit?? I might make some edits when I draw her because GEEZ.

- 9S gets some of this too. Self destruct mode, his shorts are blown off???? WHAT THE HECK???? Welp, never using that again. also why is he the only yorha boy android??????????? X’’’’D They never explain that!!

- BACK TO ENDING STUFF why were there random data hologram girls standing there, watching 2B strangle 9S?? Just...silently there...they weren’t there in the first playthrough?? I’ve seen them a couple times but they’re NEVER mentioned?? WHAT ARE THEY-- is it a glitch?? Wha--

- Teeny 9S being able to dump his consciousness into a giant machine robot guy and cradling 2B in his hand ;;~;; he’s fine y’all I’m so GLAD (I wanna draw something for this scene.... I wanna draw alot of things)

- I love Pascal. He should adopt all the sad people to his happy peace village. He already started that...what a good egg.

- The accessories option is lovely. I’ve been running around with 9S with a blue bow in his hair forever now ;7; replaced with the flower in his hair because BOYS AND FLOWERS I LOVE but I think I might give the flower to 2B because she’d look lovely with it and....I miss the blue bow X’D

- Also the AMOUNT of things this could line up with a KH universe....as far as how androids work, hearts (black boxes), memories making you...you, being able to transfer “hearts” to new bodies when the old is destroyed, POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...there’s alot. I dunno what to do with this info...

Anyway, I have alOT of thoughts and feelings on this game, it’s like...a very cool book. I’ve had trouble putting down. These aren’t even all of them but idk who I can actually rant to so here it is for the Void

I’m so interested to see where it goes!

#breezy babbles #ALOT #idk where else to put this so here #for the void #this probably absolutely makes no sense I'm so sorry #nier: automata #nier #meta #????kinda #I loooove love love 9S with all my heart and soul #he's also voiced by Mob's english voice actor which is SO MUCH CUTER #they need to hang out #I love 2B so much too #their operators are cute #pascal is cute #everyone is cute

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twyt-podcast-blog · 5 years ago

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❝tea with yours truly❞

—grab your cups and let me serve you some hot pipping tea.

today’s episode: the mgas.

unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know what time it is. it’s been five seasons now. it’s the freaking mgas. mnet global auditions that never feel global but who cares? am i late to start talking about it? no. why did i decide to wait? because, i’m over it. i’m over survival shows. i’m over having a heartbreak and being an emotional wreck when my faves are eliminated. that’s why i decided to wait and to stalk. lol. i binged watched freaking four episodes of it. even then, i did not miss the entire season. i was a bit impatient. everyone’s talking about it. everyone’s balls and ovaries are bursting left and right. my bad, if you thought that this podcast is suited for work, you’re listening to the wrong podcast.

before anything, i just want to say that i’ve caught myself listening to luxe’s every night. it was really a good song. y’know, royal, trc, sphere, kt and...nova...are going to recruit new trainees for their companies, but what about the groups that they already have? see, royal’s luxe haven’t been around since march. their main rivals are still fresh in the memory. i’m talking about trc’s k.arma and kt’s eclipse. eclipse even got a summer comeback. the best time to come back honestly with all the festivals. sphere’s convex came back in april. that’s not too long ago. then, you have nova ( /sighs;) i guess that nova is in need of trainees so that they can one day debut something. anything. didn’t i ever tell you guys that, as a little child, was obsessed with jewelry. i didn’t have their talent though.

anyways without further ado, here’s my opinion, as if anyone really cares about it honestly, about the first four episodes of the mgas. i got my notes. it’s all opinions. my opinions. yes, i’ll be biased; however, i expect y’all to bother to check the episodes and performances to make your own opinions and faves.

oh, i almost forgot, today’s drink is starbucks’s matcha frappucino. it’s summer. we drink our tea cold, but doesn’t mean that what we are spitting isn’t pippin’ hot.

episode one started with a nice little shot of the places where the auditions were taking place. cute. there’s a lot of hopefuls. then, we get to see the ceos that we love so much ( /chuckles;) then, they do some lowkey scripted chitchat. you know “oh, it’s a new season again” “i know right.” “i can’t wait to meet the contestants and sign trainees who will probably never get the chance to debut” lol. speaking of contestants, there are 100 people. let me tell you who caught my attention. first, there’s this one named kim seungmin? seunghun? legit, he was imitating animals. like, top pick of the episode. yes, i’m weird like that. to be honest, the entire episode, the ceos were savage. but, i don’t blame them, because sweeties it’s freaking season 5 so you’re supposed to bring it. period. you’ve seen the show at least once, you should know. lot’s singing, dancing, rapping. y’know. it’s what you expect. by the way, an ex-member of convex freaking showed up. i was shook. like, i remember that there were redemption stories since mga season 1. but, it was usually former contestants given a second chance or trainees. a freaking ex-member. it’s freaking romeo under a new alias? i mean you guys know the rumors...but he left allegedly for personal reasons. i have the highest of expectations on him. like, i feel for his fans from back when the season two of the mgas happened. the rollercoaster ride of emotions. i feel for y’all. i’m not gonna lie to y’all. the first episode...i mean...i’m binge watching so i didn’t really take the time to really find my top picks.

let’s move on to the next episode.

episode two: the way episode two started was weird. i mean i can’t be the only who watch that little moment involving...let check my notebook for the names..ah yes, choi yena, wang jackson and son hyejoo. it’s been five seasons... doesn’t the mgas have the budget for seats for all the contestants? as for the skinship moment, y’all know that the fans are out there being like “i ship hyena or yejoo”. anyways. moving on. episode two is, in a nutshell, more singing. more dancing, more rapping. it’s also leads to the first round of eliminations. as i mentioned before, i’m not here for the heartbreak. i know that through binge-watching, i’m not getting emotionally attached to nobody. i’ll cry moving forwards from episode four and onwards. rappers who come up and perform their own stuff. i support you. i kinda expect rappers to be able to pen and to have the courage to take the stage with their own work. does that discredit the other rappers? no, i just happen to love the creative rappers and we all know tiger jk love them too. over the years, the rappers with creative genius had more chances to land in trc. it’s just how it is. so, yeah, choi yoona caught my attention. the whistling rapper, na jaemin too. i like him. recycle boy, hwang minhyun seems to have left an impression because they replayed his clip. oh, and, see, the girl hyejoo who had a moment in the beginning of the episode had another highlight moment. she switched from dancer to rapper and promoted a self-made song. should i make her a top pick? i mean she fits what i like. maybe, if she’s still around in episode four. i’m just gonna say one thing...that guy...park jinyoung. yes. biased? maybe. i mean give me a man with a guitar and that voice. mhm. so, at the end of the episode, they go through the elimination. they also reveal the top three for each category. who am i not surprised for? freakin’ minho.

up to this point, the people i got my eyes on are still alive. there are two episodes left tho. like i said, i didn’t dive into everything. i’m playing catch up. on top of that, i had to have my eyes on my picks. anyways.

i’m taking this moment to take refresher but also talk about our sponsor. so, we are sponsored by this lovely game reminiscent of that one otome mobile game that destroyed our sleeping patterns. if i love you is nice f2p game where you decide to use a dating app. you will be texting, chatting, going on dates and receiving phone calls from waifu or husbando. the upside is that you don’t have to set alarms and to miss on work or school. now back to the mgas.

episode three: so, isn’t just me or interviews are meh. i mean maybe it’s because i just want to reach episode four as quickly as possible so that i can get into the social media aspect, but, some of these interviews...chile. y’all sound so cocky and cocky isn't cute. i could also blame the editing, because it’s mnet. you can’t expect a snake to be nice. it’s the duo performances. man, it’s a staple since the first mgas. i am watching and i’m loving every single second that i am given. the groups overall are really strong. i already brought up names and they didn’t disappoint me. i’m not going to go to deeply on episode three, because episode four is right down in the corner. i kam already seeing myself getting attached, but i can’t deal with a double heartbreak back to back. i need to calm down. i am betting after watching this top 3 that minho is simply gonna ride smoothly. he was in the top in season 2. he bet it’s gonna be the same for season 3. like, everything he did was great. it’s like everything he touches turns to gold. also, two of my picks were eliminated. i’m talking about jinyoung and yoona. see, i should have waited until i reach episode four before i freaking choose the people i’m rooting for. anyways.

all this binge-watching without a chance to really watch highlights on naver as led to the last episode to have aired.

episode four: my children, we made it. all caught up. it’s essentially the second round of the duo performances. they were nice. i want to say that i feel genuinely bad for the contestant lee nakyung. so, first, the ceos commented on how she had been throwing away her jacket every performances. i got to admit that you can’t use the same trick over and over and over again. then, they said that she had better chemistry with minho? that was sad. the way it was edited it pretty much gave the vibe that nakyung is nothing without minho. he was the partner. i feel like everyone who will partner with minho, who’s a vet, might get similar backlash that minho is their saving grace. the girl’s talented. mnet, i know that the comment was about her lack of chemistry with her new partner, but your editing really sucked. sorry, i had a lot of feelings about this above all. anyways, like the hopefuls are very good this season. like, i see no holes. at the end of the day. it is still a competition. then, my friends, they panned on two empty seats. so they brought back the people who were eliminated, bitch. my eliminated faves were separated, but, y’know what, i’m okay. also, i’m sorry that wang jackson was not on list, but then, he did that with park jinyoung. they did that. also, i didn’t give ryujin or sia the attention they deserved. i had to go back and watch their performance to understand why they were top three. ladies, yes. yes. YES. i hope i conveyed my opinion well. minho, again, top three. no surprise there. so, back to the returning kings. they are my picks. y’all know that i’m jinyoung biased at the moment. i got other people on my radar. i’m sad that hyejoo was eliminated. was rooting for her. nakyung, i’m gonna shield her and protect her from harm. i will fight. now, i can finally get into it. maybe some of you were expecting your names to be shouted out. moving forward with episode five, i will be able to really go in-depth with the performances and the people. i also get to check their social media and to see what kind of people they are.

#[ ooc: hwasa’s twit chorus plays. it's a nod to the show's acronym: twyt ]#.twytpod #rkmga5

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years ago

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14x07: Unhuman Business

Then:

LaLaLa, this is not happening, LaLaLa

Now:

Uh, something seems to be wrong with my TV. Just Lucifer Nick blabbering on about his family and his regret for killing people that won’t help him find who killed his family.

At the bunker, Jack is not doing great, guys. Cas is attempting to heal him, but whatever is wrong with Jack is beyond his angel powers.

As the boys discuss their impossible situation, Jack falls to the floor, coughing blood and foaming at the mouth. They rush him to the hospital ASAP.

Worried Dad Dean is HIGH MAINTENANCE, but I’ll forgive his overbearing ways. Jack is in deep trouble. First, the hospital just needs some basic data, like name and date of birth, both of which the Winchesters fumble on. Jack’s a Winchester you doofs! And I guess Jack is 18. And his dad exploded. Jack then collapses and the medical staff rush him to a room, Sam, Dean, and Cas by his side.

(That framing tho)

God, my TV buzzed out again. Please stand by while I figure out WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT NICK. He talks to a reporter and learns there was a cop, Frank Kellogg, who was patrolling Nick’s neighborhood the night his family died.

At the hospital, Jack’s tests results all came back negative. They’re going to have to run more tests. (Lol, I love how all of this is put in the vaguest way possible. Like not all tests are positive or negative, and what are they testing for?) The one thing they do know: His body is in complete systemic shutdown. (I read on Twitter the friendly reminder that you’re not a real hunter until you’ve died and come back again. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.)

The brothers decide it’s time to explore other options: Rowena. Dean suggests calling her. Sam already did. (Samwitch! --my Saileen heart hates me every time I goof about this) (Natasha: SAME) The doctor walks in on the boys dressing Jack to leave. AND LET ME JUST FALL INTO A PIT OF EMOTION watching Cas put his coat on Jack.

ROWENA arrives as fast as she can (like, oof, there isn’t anything in this for her. She just showed up to help the Winchesters? Guh.) She thinks Dean is in trouble, but Sam reveals it’s really Jack, Lucifer’s son. Rowena’s out. Before she bolts though, Jack works his magic nougat ways.

Rowena breaks the bad news that without Jack’s grace, his nephilim body can’t sustain itself. Cas offers up his own grace to save him. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! As Ro is nixing that idea, Dean’s vision starts to blur and his hearing warbles in and out.

Not sure what was happening in this next Nick scene. He’s weird around a woman in an alley. She invites him back into the bar (WHY?) (Natasha: WHYYYYYYYY?) and then he secretly pulls a knife. In a brief moment of clarity, he yells at her to get away and she runs. And for the record: the giant neon S stands for Satan.

At the bunker, Overprotective Dean brings Jack a sandwich and milk. PURE. Jack is packing up and ready to hit the road, live a little before he dies. I’M NOT DYING, YOU’RE DYING.

Dean gets some serious dimples of discontent after listening to Jack but he’s not disagreeing with the boy.

Sam and Cas AND Rowena are on the research train. Cas presides over a mountain of books while Rowena and Sam call everyone they think might be able to help the poor young wee nephilim.

Dean gets the updates. The books are a bust, but Sam talked to Ketch, who has tipped them off about a shaman who might help. Dean takes all this in...maybe? In actuality, Dean wavers in and out of focus again. Oh, Dean Bean. Cas offers to tackle the shaman lead and the Winchesters can stay behind to look out for Jack. Enter Jack, with backpack, ready for adventure! Dean and Jack are heading out, to Castiel’s disapproval.

A little while later, Dean and Jack pick up some burgers and Dean tosses Baby’s keys to wee Jack. It’s driving lesson time! There’s so much wrapped up in this scene: Dean’s stunted childhood, his incredible capacity to nurture, Jack’s hero worship. MY HEART is wrapped up in this scene. They ease out on the road and Jack gains confidence quickly.

Dean turns on some tunes and BTO’s “Let it ride” sets the mood. Classic rock is such an important aspect of this show, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it as a set piece until this scene of open road driving.

(I’ll confess that I spent the first viewing of this scene ready for Jack to pass out and the car to careen dramatically off the road. I’m glad it didn’t.)

Cas heads out to find Sergei the shaman but before he goes, he talks with Sam about Dean’s reaction to Jack’s illness. “He seems to be taking this particularly hard,” Castiel observes. Sam tells him that Dean feels bad for the time he spent wishing Jack a swift and painful death at the beginning of last season.

Heartbreaking dialogue alert:

Sam: He’s lost people. We’ve all lost people but…

Cas: This feels different. Losing a son feels different.

But stow away those emotions, friends, because it’s time to go back to fun!Dad Dean. They’re eating more fast food, pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m a driver!” Jack announces gleefully. Yes, bby. Dean suggests a bar with promising hook-up potential. (Me: flashes back to Dean’s “Last night on Earth” speech with Cas back in season 4...and like, all of season 3.) Jack’s got other plans.

Nick finds Frank Kellogg, brings up the bare facts of his case, and then pushes Frank inside and holds him by the throat. Time to chat.

By a tumbling, small river, Jack gets into Dean’s deepest emotions like he’s ordering an ice cream shake at a diner. While they fish, Jack casually brings up that Dean and his father went fishing and that it was one of Dean’s happiest memories of him. Dean tries to dissemble, but Jack’s sure as a rock. (Now, there’s been some discussion about whether this was meant to refer to John or Bobby. My vote’s heavily on John. Dean loved his father, was disappointed by him, and longed for many things he could never have at the same time. Fishing with John Winchester was probably a shocking circle of calm - a pool of stillness and peace.)

Jack tells Dean that he wouldn’t miss the big, showy things in the world. Instead, he’d miss more time with Dean and the other people in his life.

Dean BARELY holds it together, a quaver in his voice as he returns, “Who’d’ve thought time with me would make you sentimental?” Dean. Bean.

Meanwhile, Cas drives his adorable blue car to meet Sergei the shaman. He’s immediately enveloped in a circle of holy fire. Thanks, buddy.

Sergei lives in a pimped out trailer, with flowers painted on the exterior and lushly colored and patterned textiles draped all over the interior. He proposes a “recharging agent” for Jack - something to shock his system and derail the degeneration. He offers Cas archangel grace (purportedly from Gabriel) and a spell to activate it. And the cost is simply that the Winchesters will owe him a favor. Sounds like a hell of a price to me.

Meanwhile Nick beats the shit out of Frank Kellogg. We learn that Nick’s neighbor saw Frank leave his house the night of the murders and the cops made him cover it up. Frank confesses that he met a man named Abraxis outside of Nick’s house and the next thing he knew, he was covered in blood. Frank was possessed by a demon which is some crazy ass shit, right? Sigh. Nick kills Frank horribly anyway, in a scene that goes on for WAY too long.

WAY the fuck too long.

In a giant breath of fresh air, we get back to the bunker, once again full of TFW 2.0 and Rowena Our Queen. They hand Jack the grace and it enters his body as Rowena chants the spell. Lights flicker. Jack’s eyes glow golden again. It’s worked!

Jack stumbles and falls again, worse than before.

Cas chews out Sergei via phone call and Sergei defends himself by saying that “science is sometimes trial and error.” It’s...awfully reminiscent of Michael’s experimentation, yes? It also reminds me of real world experimental parallels - now and throughout history. In a word: yikes.

Side note: Having once had a loved one’s body try to shut down in the ICU with no discernible cause...this episode really did hit home for me. It’s so easy in fiction to have a magical healing ability, and so much harder when there’s no explanation, no quick cure, and treatments that have your doctors crossing their fingers. I feel for all these dudes, and the doctors as well, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, Cas is pissed, and vows to smite Sergei’s ass if Jack dies.

For Vengeful Science

At Frank’s house, Nick prays to Lucifer and begs him to come back. In the blackness of the Empty, what looks like the Empty entity morphs into being and its eyes glow Lucifer-red. Well, fuck. (I’m actually excited to see the Empty again, but I am quite displeased about Lucifer.)

In the bunker, TFW mourns Jack’s rapidly failing condition. Rowena counsels them to stay by his side, for death approaches on swift wings.

Root Beer Quotes:

He’s sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded.

Samuel, I thought we were beyond this.

Well, if it’s grace he needs, he can have mine.

Eyes on the road.

This is the best day ever!!!

Born with a wheel in your hand, huh?

Life isn’t all these big, amazing moments. It’s time together that matters.

Life - all of it - is a risk.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn recap #spn 14x07 #unhuman nature #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #rowena #nick #supernatural season 14

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franeridart · 7 years ago

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hey I hope you're happy (since you obviously deserve it)

!!!!!!!!!! Thank you??? I hope you’re happy too, anon!!!

Anon said:Wow Tetsutetsu and Kaminari like a couple? Really? Ok, that is interesting, but I don’t know if it is possible. Why do you put them together?

I mean, it’s a crack ship, being possible isn’t really its point haha they’re not supposed to make much sense, as far as canon goes? If I remember right they do come from the same prefecture, so maybe they knew of each other/ knew each other before UA, but as far as I’m concerned my interest in the ship comes from the quirk compatibility, really. It’s nothing I put much thought into, and I do have many ships for both of them I like better, but the idea of the two of them together is fun so why not

Anon said:The kamitetsu was really cute!!! It was also really super cute when two people spoke at the same time/had the same thought you mixed their colors!!! That was honestly a very nice touch and cute! I love your art it makes me so happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU!!!!!! And I’m glad you liked that, for a while I thought mixing the colors like that was gonna make it confusing hahaha

Anon said:Just stopped by to say your artwork makes me so incredibly happy, and always improves my day!! I hope you have a great rest of the year because you deserve it!! Thank you for everything you do!

Sob thank you so much for taking the time to send this message!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

Anon said:I’m sorry for clogging your inbox with this (you don’t have to write back), but wanted to say I hope you feel better real soon and also to say thank you (so very much!!) for sharing your art. Selfish of me to say so, but it really really has cheered me up after a bad day. Lots of love to you!

I’m!!!! So happy I could help you feel better, anon!!!!! I hope your day is going 100x better, right now!!!! And thank you for the well wishes ;u;

Anon said:have you thought about this or what do you think about it?: Tokoyami / Mina ?

Never thought about it before, actually :O but why not? I’m not sure they’d work as far as personalities go, but they’re definitely aesthetically pleasing next to each other! Their designs work well together haha

Anon said:*Climbs out of the chimney, covered in soot and very disgruntled* I’ll have you know, good sire. *Tips hat.* That I just read the entirety of the Dgray man because of your laven art. And I- *Dabs at eyes, voice cracking* -am having more feelings than I ever wanted.

AAAHHHHHH I’M SORRY FOR THE UNWANTED FEELS but I’m??? so glad you decided to check the manga out????????????? I hope you liked it oh g o d that manga is my life !!!

Anon said:This isn’t like a “secret request for a drawing” but don’t you think there needs to be a hug between Deku and All Might somewhere in the manga?!? I mean c'mon, Deku cries at the drop of a hat, someone give the boy a hug! Plus, I feel like All Might is a kind of father figure for Deku!! Sorry, I just needed to get that out XD. Love your artwork though!! My heart skips a beat at the sight of it. And my love for Baku and Kiri has been extended.

We actually had one tho!

an heartbreaking moment I 100% understand why you’d remove from your memory tbh, I cried, I’m still crying

Anon said:OOF i love your OCs..

Anon said:Heyyy I just wanted to say that I love your art with all my heart and the cat person/dog person one was so lovely.. I’m weak to kiribaku with animals.

So am I anon aaahhhhh !!!!!!!!! and thank you so so so so so much!!!!

Anon said:Just curious… do you have a personal favorite of your own art that you’ve posted?

Hmmmm not really, but if I had to pick one it’d be this one (which… does say something about my process and how to make it better……..) (a something I’m willingly ignoring) anyway usually what I’m the most satisfied with is the last thing I’ve posted haha

Anon said:Your art style brings out Kirishima’s adorableness even more. Holy heck I love how cute he is when you draw him. (And Bakugou and the rest of the kids too!)

THANK YOU!!!!!! I think it might be because I find him so incredibly cute, so I try to portray just how cute I think he is the most hahaha I’m glad I’m managing that well enough!!!!

Anon said: Hello~ Sending some love because you deserve it! I was having a shitty day (as always for me these days) and saw your Baku and Kiri cat & dog art and instantly felt a little better. My heart always feels lifted, and a smile replaces my tears, when I see your beautiful art! Even the kinda sad ones. If my heart hurts a bit from the sad arts, at least it’s because of the love expressed in the piece, and not heartache from personal things. Thank you, as always, for sharing your work.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for the kind words oh my god!!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:IS BAKU WEARING A RED RIOT SHIRT AND DOES THE DOG HAVE A RED RIOT PAULDRON COLLAR AND IS KIRI WEARING A BAKU SHIRT

YES TO ALL OF IT!!!!!! :D

Anon said:i just want to tell you i’m now 10000 times gayer than i was before i’m blushing so much at your latest bakushima art… it’s sososo Good, i love you

:O thank you!!!!! I love you lots too!!!!

Anon said: I see you ship Bakugo and Kiri together. Why do you ship them? Just wondering cause i love hearing why people ship certain people. P.S: i soooooooo ship them as well.

God, that’s one hard question to answer easily - I somewhat talked about it here? tho it was more specifically about why chapter 90 kills me haha but yeah to sum it up I’d say that my favorite ship for Kirishima is Bakugou because I think he’s the one that understands Kirishima best, the one that’s been there the most for him when Kirishima needed it, the one that always knows what to say to him and the one Kirishima holds onto when he needs strength, he’s the one that’s shown the most concern for Kirishima and the only one that’s actively done something to make him feel better when Kirishima needed it. He’s the one Kirishima gravitates towards the most and the one Kirishima shows most sides of himself to, too. And my favorite ship for Bakugou is Kirishima because Kirishima’s the only one that actually tries to see behind Bakugou’s anger, the one that since the start looked at him rage and saw a teen in pain, the only one that actually knows how to talk to him and the only one that doesn’t even need to try, he’s just naturally Bakugou’s perfect match in personality. He’s the one that likes Bakugou as he is, for what he is, not part of him but all of him, completely. He’s the one that’d risk his life for Bakugou no questions asked, and he’s the one Bakugou’s the most willing to spend time with, the one Bakugou talks to and shares with and accepts help from.

I like the relationship they share with each other the most out of every other relationship they have with other characters because they’re comfortable with one another and care for one another in an active way, do everything they can to make sure the other is happy and safe. Because they’re each other’s strength and greatest ally and best friend. I like that they’re aware of each other, that they know each other, that they like each other - not in a subtext kind of way, but in an obvious, on screen, there-was-a-chapter-in-which-that-was-actually-spelled-out way. I like how Kirisihima always knows what’s up with Bakugou, and I like how he’s the proxy to go to when people don’t know where Bakugou is, and I like that he always knows. I like that it’s implied they spend a lot of time alone together. I like that Kirishima said that Bakugou has a broken way of talking, but he isn’t a bad guy and he can’t say he dislikes how Bakugou tends to make enemies left and right, and I like that Bakugou took his hand and smiled at him. I like that Bakugou never yells at him and always calls him by name and never ignores him, and I like that Kirishima calls him out on his rudeness but still likes him and supports him and follows him. I like their relationship the most because it’s the most important relationship for either of them, because it’s healthy and equal and happy, and I ship it because seeing it as romantic from where they stand now, to me, isn’t a huge step at all

And I like this ship above any other ship, even above the ships with other characters that share similar relationships as far as support and love goes, because they’re fun, and rowdy, and bright and loud and dynamic, and I have fun thinking about them interacting more than I have fun thinking about anyone else. And because they’re separately my favorite characters, and I think together they’d be the happiest they could ever manage, and I really, really want that for both them. To be happy with the person that understands them the most and loves and supports them the most, and with whom they can be the most comfortable and open and at peace. I think they could be home to each other, really. They’re a pretty obvious ship, to me haha

Anon said:My dude! Have you seen the trailer for the new Guillermo del Toro movie? Shape of water? It has some similarities to your shark kiri au!

I’ve read some things, yeah :O hadn’t really linked it to the AU tho, that’s an interesting observation !!!!

Anon said:the RR on baku’s wristband is for Red Riot, i assume? :)

YESSSS I tend to dress Bakugou in Red Riot merch a lot hahaha

Anon said:FRAN oml those bakugous??? Are amazing???? I love love love the lines so much they look so good and clean and sharp and I don’t have words but they’re just so so good the poses are amazing and ahhhhhh you did??? So good?? I feel like you’re constantly improving so much it’s amazing ahhhhhh I’m so in love w ur style I !!! Hope ur having a lovely day!!! Bless you

THANK!!!! YOU!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!! Holy shit I’m crying !!!!!!! g o ds o

Anon said:Hi! I’m new to the BNHA fandom, and really love your art! I’m just starting to get into BakuShima and TodoDeku too, but just a couple days ago I read you say that MomoJirou are also pretty obvious about their gayness, including one time you saying you’re completely sure Kirishima and Jirou have a crush on those two canonically and, could I ask you to explain this to me? I’m all about it, this is not a complain! I just want to know more about them, thank you!

I wouldn’t say they’re canonically into them, but I do feel like, if I were to point someone they might be romantically into, that’s who I’d point to hahaha but yeah Jirou and Momo! They haven’t appeared much in canon so after all there isn’t too much behind the ship, more for shortage of scenes than anything else, but Jirou tends to blush a lot around Momo, she’s really protective of Momo, she’s pointed out how cute Momo is on more than one occasion, and their friendship is seriously cute - they’re always together? And when they’re not Jirou gravitates towards Momo a lot, you see her in the background waving at Momo or walking towards Momo really really often - of course all of these things can (and most probably are) just proofs of their being best friends! But it’s a good relationship I love a lot, which is why I ship it~

#fran answers #i had let the asks pile up again #oh well #thank you guys so much btw #so many nice words !!!!!!!!!!#sometimes i feel really undeserving haha but im happy i can give you a moment of happiness with my doods #it means the world to me #<3 #also there's blabbering about baku*hima in this one #and ofc tetsu and kami #and also jiro an momo ? so #ship ask #and oc thngs too #sorta?#it's just a dood whatever #anonymous

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softpink · 7 years ago

Text

A Year on Spotify: 2017

100. Fat Lip - Sum 41 - I can’t believe this song invented music.

It’s none of your concern, I guess I’ll never learn I’m sick of being told to wait my turn

99. Energy - Drake - I love being part white. This was a go to gym song when I was in a bad mood, which was A LOT over the summer.

I got girls in real life trying to fuck up my day, fuck going online that ain’t part of my day

98. Bad Girls - M.I.A. - Erin and I always listen to this song while driving anywhere together, even though we are the two least bad people I know.

Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well

97. Nerve - The Story So Far - You know, I used to always complain about how the self titled was their worst album. In the past year, I have found that I actually like this album better than What You Don’t See. You set your pace, I’ll keep mine too

96. Seventy Times Seven - Brand New - Too bad Jesse Lacey is a TRASH CAN and Brand New is CANCELLED. I’ve honestly just stopped listening to Brand New near the end of 2017. Too many of the song (Maradona, Sudden Death, Sic Transit Gloria, etc) made me TOO uncomfortable. This song is still better than There’s No “I” In Team tho Have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope there’s ice on all the roads And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt, and again when your head goes through the windshield

95. Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac - This song STILL slaps. I’ve never cheated on someone, I’ve never been cheated on, but damn this entire makes feel like I’ve done both of those thing excessively.

Loving you isn’t the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel?

94. There, There - The Wonder Years - This is my PEAK anxiety song. I’ve never had a song that encapsulates what my specific anxieties feel like so well.

I’ve got my heart strung up on clothing lines through tenement windows in mid-July

93. Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift - This song is so GOOD. Have you ever been hooking up with someone in secret? Ever had to end things with someone when you didn’t want to? Ever only have fond memories of someone? This is the song for YOU. I remember listening to this song a lot freshman year of college in the fall, how long ago that seems.

Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset babe Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

92. Goodmorning - Bleachers - I am pretty sure I dream about Mike more than anyone in my friend group. I will have these intense, real dreams where I can feel him. I will have hazy, abstract dreams where maybe I can’t see him, but I wake up and I know he’s there. I have nightmares about the accident. I have dreams that are just a movie reel of our old memories. Sometimes it’s wonderful, getting visited by him, but sometimes it can almost be debilitating. This song captures that feeling perfectly.

Woke up, I’m in the inbetween, honey One foot out and I know the weight is coming, because I left it by the bed last night Open my eyes, and I stare and pray for light Always one foot out when you say goodbye to the one that you love, one dream away from the ones above That’s such a rhythm in my life these days, so I hold on tight and I learn to behave

91. Using - Sorority Noise - Not gonna kill myself 2k17

I stopped wishing I was dead, learned to love myself before anyone else

90. Bugatti (Remix) - Ace Hood - This is a defining song of my friendship with Will.

I’mma say this, fuck it I’ll say it: if you got good pussy you should always have your rent paid

89. Falling In Love Again - Joyce Manor - I remember when I had my first time with Michael, this song was stuck in my head. I remember his sports themed wallpaper border in his old bedroom. I remember looking at the streetlights reflecting off of his window pane. I remember total bliss. I remember his soft kisses, how held me so close afterwards.

I think you’re funny, I like your friends, I like the way the treat you I’ve got some money that we could spend, not that you’re like that I’m falling in love again I’m falling in love again

88. Nasty Habits - You Me At Six - I miss old YMAS. I wish Night People wasn’t wannabe Black Keys junk.

I’ve got you breathing all heavy and deep, gasping for air and down on your knees You’re in love for only as long as you want to

87. Shimmer - Moose Blood - I remember sending this to Molly, I want to send her my deepest apologies. This song is so sad, I’m glad it doesn’t apply to my life anymore.

It’s been awhile since I saw you You don’t look the same, you taste different too

86. Run Away With Me - Carly Rae Jepsen - This was the first song we listened to on the DC roadtrip. That was one of the best weekends of my life, I can’t wait for all the places Maddy, Will, and I go in the future.

Oh baby, take me to the feeling I’ll be your sinner in secret When the lights go out, run away with me

85. Something Right - Microwave - This song makes me irrationally sad?

Last night you told me you were pregnant My throat collapsed, I couldn’t breathe You said there’s a little man inside you, who looks a little bit like me

84. Reckless Love - Bleachers - I love having to come to terms with emotional and sexual abuse! People fucking suck!

So give me a chance to remember, what I’ve given up to defend you I have burned my dreams away, to stand in the broken shadows of your reckless love

83. You Tore Out My Heart - Tiny Little Houses - I remember listening to this a lot in August. August was a hard month.

I’m so tired of being afraid, and I’m so sick of wasting away And there’s no truth in whatever you say You tore my heart out again and again

82. The Let Down - Seaway - This is their best song

Oh it’s all the same, if you feel the same we’ll never change

81. Meet Me In the Hallway - Harry Styles - THIS! ALBUM! DESERVED! MORE! It’s so good. It’s the best thing anyone post split has put out. I listened to this album non stop when it came out. This song sounds like a dream I’ve had in the past. This song sounds like hoping for that late night text, this song sounds like longing.

We don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do Because once you go without it, nothing else will do

80. Closer - Chainsmokers - I know everyone hates this song but I like this song whoops

Four years no call, now I’m looking pretty in a hotel bar

79. Local Man Ruins Everything - The Wonder Years - This song has gotten me through every single rough patch in my life. Anytime that I’ve needed to move on from something in life, this is THE song.

I don’t have roses in the closet, but I’ve got pictures in a drawer It’s everything left in me not to stare at them anymore

78. I Think I You Were In My Profile Picture Once - Modern Baseball - This song used to remind me vaguely of Scott way back in the day, but now it is purely a Mike song. I remember laying in my bedroom with all the lights off after the funeral and just listening to this song. It’s funny how drastically things can change.

Covered in bottles with the stench of a loss of life And I know that it’s quite heartbreaking we won’t speak like this again

77. Blissth - Sorority Noise - Emotional trauma: the song

You’ll always be like a nightmare to me, and I’ll always be begging for sleep

76. Don’t Take the Money - Bleachers - Do you ever have a song that just makes you feel alive? This is that song.

You steal the air out of my lungs, you make me feel it

75. 10 Bands - Drake - This is the best song off of If You’re Reading This… This is THE Drake song to listen to while driving in rain at night when you’re pissed off. I can’t tell you how many times this summer I would drive around blasting this song being pissed off. Also, my favorite lyric to this song? Iconic.

My ex asked me “where you moving?” I said onto better things

74. I Wish You Would - Taylor Swift - I don’t remember listening to this that much this year? This was a genuine surprise to see. I DID listen to this a lot in the early fall of 2015, when things were in a weird place with Scott. Once again, that feels so long ago geez. I remember feeling like this song was all I was ever going to feel like. Thank God for moving on, Thank God for change.

It’s 2 A.M. in your car, you pass my street, the memories start You say it’s in the past, you drive straight ahead You’re thinking that I hate you now because you still don’t know what I never said I wish you would come back, wish I never hung up the phone like I did I wish you knew that, I’ll never forget you as long I live

73. 505 - Arctic Monkeys - Has a song ever given you anxiety, made you sad, and made you want to get laid all at the same time?

But I crumble completely when you cry, it seems like once again you have to greet me with goodbye

72. Chicago Is So Two Years Ago - Fall Out Boy - This song makes me want to punch every person who has ever wronged me DIRECTLY in the face. You want apologies? Girl you might hold your breath until your breathing stops, forever The only thing you’ll get is this curse on your lips, I hope they taste of me forever

71. Out of the Woods - Taylor Swift - I love Bleachers. Anyway, I love to listen to this song while driving by myself late at night, it’s a very surreal feeling.

Looking at it now, last December We were built to fall apart, then fall back together

70. Dakota - A Rocket to the Moon - If Molly or Bethany is in the car, this song is never skipped. I miss power pop.

I know that she barely knows me, and I’m fake in love with her It’s like I’m singing karaoke, and I forgot the second verse, but I can make up my own words

69. Harvard - Diet Cig - Remember when my ex, who I hadn’t spoken to in YEARS decided to send me a long ass message apologizing for shit that I no longer desired an apology for? Remember when this happened in a fucking Denny’s? Remember when at the end of the message, he somehow managed to make it all about himself and his annoying ass liberal arts school in the woods of Vermont? 2017 was the year of people not being able to Leave Me Alone.

Does it feel better in your ivy league sweater? Put your work shoes on, and talk about her at your shitty job. Does it feel better in that cold Boston weather? Fuck your ivy league sweater, you know I was better.

68. Corrigan - Sorority Noise - I remember listening to this song while driving to the job I hated. This song has nothing to do with working a dead end desk job, but I always seem to associate it with that?

I will never be the one you need I only hope to be the solid ground beneath your feet I will never be the turning of your leaves I only hope to be the one you call when you can’t sleep

67. Fall Into These Arms - New Politics - This was also a surprise, I don’t remember listening to this a lot this year. It is on a lot of my playlists because it’s catchy af, so that must be why it made the list. I remember listening to this in fall of 2015 (honestly, what WASN’T I listening to a lot in fall of 2015) while feeling like I was drowning in poor choices.

Fall into these arms, and spend the night with a stranger like me

66. Style - Ryan Adams - This song is HOT. Also my favorite line really resonates with me. This has been in my top 100 since 2015 when this came out, it’s SO good.

You’ve got that long brown hair thing that I like You’ve got that good girl faith and ass so tight

65. Right Back At It Again - A Day To Remember - Wow I love being emo? This song always reminds me of the Cheektowaga gang.

So here I am, right back at it again, just like I always said

64. Pretense - Knuckle Puck - There are about five KP songs total that I enjoy, but this song SLAPS. This was another song that I would listen to a lot in August of this year.

Consider this the repercussion of the actions you were never properly punished for Due to an overbearing demeanor brought on by your own self awareness Your credibility is a half empty glass of salt water that I watched you spill over and over and over again Go ahead, make me the bad guy

63. Grapefruit - Aaron West & The Roaring Twenties - This is THE SADDEST SONG TO EVER BE WRITTEN. I listened to this whole album a lot throughout this year, it’s such a good depression album.

In all my dreams, I’m in the house that I grew up in I’m trying to be half the man I know my dad is, or was I see me as a father, looking over a daughter Who grew up to be just like you, and now It’s just a thread I can’t hold onto It’s just an open wound

62. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar - This was a go to gym song for the first half of the year, but honestly by the second half of the year I was way more into DNA.

Girl, I can buy your ass the world with my paystub

61. Doses & Mimosas - Cherub - Lol @ the time I went to a RAVE in 2017. As someone who has never done drugs and doesn’t plan to, I don’t think I will be going to a rave ever again. I did watch someone do cocaine right next to me in the middle of Town Ballroom. Shit was wild. Anyway, Cherub sucked live but I still love this song?

To all the bitch ass hoes who hate me the most, I hate you too

60. Your Graduation - Modern Baseball - This is another one of those songs that I thought I would be stuck living for the rest of my life. I remember listening to this song on a constant loop for MONTHS my junior year of high school. I remember making Scott listen to this when we were both very drunk, and for the first time in his life he actually APOLOGIZED to me. NOW, fast forward to 2017 this is just a song that I like to jam out to. I love positive growth, I hope I have even more of it in the coming year.

You weren’t the only one who thought of us that way I spend most nights awake, wide awake I never thought that I, that I would see the day Where I just let you go, let you walk away

59. Hands On Me - Ariana Grande - I’m gay

Skirt off, keep the high heels on

58. You Are In Love - Taylor Swift - The first time I heard this song, I cried so hard. It is truly Michael and I in a song. It’s so perfectly us. It’s so beautiful. Every single word in this song resonates with the both of us so much. I remember laying in his bed with him late at night, and he just held me while we listened to this song together. I’m so corny, I love my boyfriend so much.

Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt, he keeps his word. And for once you let go of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much, but it said enough. You kiss on sidewalks, you fight, and you talk One night he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses and says “you’re my best friend” And you knew what it was, he is in love

57. I’m The Best - Nicki Minaj - Whenever I want to drop out of school, I think about how disappointed Nicki would be, and I keep chugging along.

To all my bad bitches, I can see your halo

56. The Downfall Of Us All - A Day To Remember - It’s 2017 and this song still slaps

Duh duh duh duh duhduhduhduh duh duh duh duhduhduhduh 55. We All Float Down Here - Four Year Strong - It’s 2017 and this song ALSO still slaps. I regret not going to their 10 year tour this past year, smh.

Too bad you never did have the guts to know where your heart should go

54. Septemberism - Man Overboard - This is song is the face of the early 10’s pop punk movement. This the best pop punk song that will ever be written. I only own Man Overboard merch. I remember feeling the floor buckle underneath us at Webster when they played this on the farewell tour.

I hate you, you should have picked up the phone tonight

53. If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember - WOW I LOVE BEING EMO. Remember when Molly and I were both crying to this song during their set and NO ONE noticed?

I swear I’ll never be happy again, and don’t you dare say we can just be friends

52. She’s Out Of Her Mind - Blink-182 - California is a bad album, but this is a great song. It always reminds me of my sister, I can’t wait till she moves back to Buffalo. It’s not the same without her around.

She’s got a black shirt, black skirt, and Bauhaus stuck in her head.

51. Out Of The Woods - Ryan Adams - This is better than the Taylor version, and the Taylor version is one of my all time favorite songs. This songs sounds so different than the original. It sounds so hopeless and SAD.

Two paper airplanes, flying, flying…..

50. Second Letter From St. Julien - Sorority Noise - While on the drive to the Sorority Noise concert: “Hey Maddy, what if they open with Second Letter?” “Nah they wouldn’t do that.” As you can imagine, that is exactly what happened.

And if you’re with God, am I making you proud by waking up each day?

49. The Waterboy Returns - Modern Baseball - For reasons unknown, I would always listen to this while driving to school this semester. I can’t tell you why. This song is a Mike song, so I was rolling up to 8 AM nursing lab in tears lmao.

It’s been a lifetime since we spoke last, I have a thousand things to say

48. Appointments - Julien Baker - This song makes me feel like I’m drowning, but in the best way. The entire album was my favorite of 2017 and I am sure that every song will be in my most played of 2018. She’s just too good.

Nothing turns out like I pictured it, maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvases

47. St. Joe Keep Us Safe - Aaron West & The Roaring Twenties - As a born and raised Catholic who is very close with their parents, this song makes me an unmeasurable amount of sad

I’m sorry Aaron, I know this year has been hard. If you’re hurt then you’re hurt, no I won’t make it worse, I’m always in your corner

46. Too Good - Drake - This is one of two good songs of Views.

You’ve got somebody other than me Don’t play the victim when you’re with him

45. Feeling This - Blink-182 - This song makes me feel very sad, and brings me back to the summer when I was sixteen, depressed, and making terrible life choices

Fate fell short this time, your smile fades in the summer

44. Sundress - Tiny Moving Parts - This song reminds me of Robin and The Boys Cabin Trip 2017. It was SO much fun this year. It was a weekend of absolute fucking around. We swam in the lake, we kayaked, we shot off BB guns, we cooked meals together and just bonded. Making jungle juice, playing pong in the yard, shooting off fireworks, popping champagne and getting Owen a graduation cake, doing shots of expensive tequila. Ben spending the night wrapped around the toilet, cleaning up plastic cups while everyone was still asleep in the morning because I was only one awake early in the morning. Doing the Tops bottle return of shame, with a cart full of rattling bottles and cans. I loved every second of that weekend. I love that I’m still close with my high school friends, I love that I can still call them some of my best friends in life even if we don’t see each other too often.

Grab my hand let’s dance, like we used to in high school These are the golden years, let’s spend them holding beers One hand on the can, one hand in your hand, that’s my idea of romance I love you, at least I used to

43. From the Dining Table - Harry Styles - Wow I miss Haylor. This song is sad, like most songs I listen to, go figure.

Maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too Even my phone misses your call, by the way

42. Back to Back - Drake - Look, this summer was a whole bunch of bullshit and I’m glad it’s behind me

Trigger fingers turn to twitter fingers

41. Break Your Heart Right Back - Ariana Grande - This is an UNDERRATED Ariana song. It’s catch af, this was also a go to gym song this year.

I should have saw it coming, I should have saw the signs But I wanted to believe you, just you, you said you wouldn’t lie

40. Fourth of July - Fall Out Boy - All of my favorite FOB songs are written about Mikey Way

I wish I’d known how much you loved me, I wish I cared enough to know I’m sorry every song’s about you The torture of small talk with someone you used to love

39. Your Best Friend - Seaway - I lied, this is Seaway’s best song. A great song for when you’re annoyed with people who you don’t want in your life anymore.

I hate when you whisper to me that you think you should be the one who could be taking me home Because you’ve got problems, and I never asked to solve them

38. Forever - Drake - I LOVE BASKETBALL

LIKE A SPRAINED ANKLE, BOY I AIN’T NOTHING TO PLAY WITH

37. Touch It - Ariana Grande - This concert with Maddy was an out of body experience honestly. It was SO MUCH FUN. This also started our tradition of post concert Jim’s. This was one of the best days of 2017.

Remind me why we’re taking a break, it’s obviously insane Because we both know what we want, so why don’t we fall in love?

36. It’s Okay - Pentimento - Personal growth: the song

And it haunts me, every single world you said But I never thought I’d say this….it’s okay

35. The Place That You Love - Have Mercy - Being lied to sucks, I listened to this song a lot when all of that shit hit the fan.

So why’d you do it? Why are you selfish? Why can’t I trust you anymore? Where’s the sorry? No pity party, when you come and knock on my door

34. Moonlight - Ariana Grande - Dangerous Woman is a pop masterpiece, also I love my mans

He’s so bossy, he makes me dance Trying to sit in the back of his whip and just cancel my plans Sweet like candy, but he’s such a man

33. Cool - Gwen Stefani - Fun fact: The first time I realized I was attracted to women was when I watched this music video! Also this song is the ULTIMATE at peace with your ex song, and I am really happy to say that I believe I’ve reached that level of zen in my life

And I’ll be happy for you, if you can be happy for me Circles and triangles, and now we’re hanging out with your new girlfriend So far from where we’ve been, I know we’re cool

32. Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift - This is honestly the worst song off of Reputation, but I was just very excited when she released new music so I listened to it a whole bunch regardless

Maybe I got mine but you’ll all get yours

31. Heart Out - The 1975 - This song reminds me of the couple months between when Michael and I met, and when we actually started dating. Specifically reminds me of the night of The Wonder Years show, March 5th 2016. I remember him having his arm around me in Town Ballroom and feeling like everything was right in the world.

You’ve got something to say, why don’t you say it outloud? Instead of living in your head

30. Your Deep Rest - The Hotelier - This is one of my all time favorite songs. This song punches me in the goddamn face every time I hear it

Your lack of love for your dearself is sapping all of us here out Trace your roots back to the ground, work out the problem for yourself

29. Thinking About You - Ariana Grande - I cried during this song at the concert. This song is about masturbating.

Had me arching my back, had my eyes rolling back Now you love me so good, I wish you would hurry up and come back

28. Me vs.The Highway - The Wonder Years - Remember when they only played this at the Buffalo date? I almost blacked out, I was so excited.

I remember me at eighteen Naked in your parent’s basement, young and careless, watching you blow smoke rings

27. Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper - That Park & Rec scene with April and Ann singing this? Yep.

If you’re lost you can look and you will find me, time after time

26. Solo - The Story So Far - This is the best song off of the self titled don’t @ me

I wish you’d just call, and we could hash it out I could tell you what I’m so mad about

25. Disappeared - Sorority Noise - No song has ever explained long term grief like this one

I let my hair down today, and I took a shower for the first time in what felt like weeks

24. Happy Birthday - Tiny Moving Parts - I don’t smoke weed, but this song definitely makes me feel like I do

Getting stoned in the back of a car, you have no idea where you are But you’re satisfied with life, and you don’t think twice of it

23. New Scream - Turnover - I’m really glad I’m finally in a field of study that I feel confident and happy in. When I was in the transition between Fredonia and nursing school, I was stressed out and sad. I felt so lost, and I would listen to this song all of the time for that year of my life.

Adolescent dreams gave to adult screams Paranoid that I won’t have all the things they say I need

22. Better Man - Little Big Town - I can’t believe Taylor Swift wrote one of her all time best songs and GAVE THAT SHIT AWAY!!!

You’re jealousy, I can hear it now. You’re talking down to me, like I’ll always be around You push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun, boy you never thought I’d run Sometimes in the middle of the night, I can feel you again But I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man

21. 6 God - Drake - Another go to gym song AND driving around while in a bad mood song. This was Drake’s last good album smh

And just like every single other thing in my life, you can have her when I’m finished

20. Die For You - The Weekend - Do you really get in a fight with your partner if you don’t listen to this song?

Even though we’re going through it, and it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you

19. Humming - Turnover - Molly told me to listen to this song when Michael and I started dating, because in her words “it’s the ultimate lovers song.” and holy fuck, she was right.

Show me why you’re always smiling, laugh again and make me fall in love

18. Settle Down - The 1975 - This is the best song off of the self titled, no question

You’re cold and I burn, I guess I’ll never learn

17. Wild Heart - Bleachers - Strange Desire as a whole is a very important album to me. It really got me through Mike’s death, and continues to to do this day

Now everything has changed, and it’s only you that matters I will find anyway to your wild heart

16. IV. Sweatpants - Childish Gambino - I think I listened to this every single day in the month of August, holy shit.

You’re faker than some sweet and low

15. Our Apartment - Aaron West & The Roaring Twenties - I remember being SUPER SICK at this concert, and Michael took care of me so well the whole time. I love my peach so much oh my God.

I found enough of your hairpins to build you a monument, a statue to loneliness

14. I’m Serious, I’m Sorry - Jeff Rosenstock - The lyric I’m about to share is my autobiography and I’m going to get the entire thing tattooed down my ribs like the Jasey Rae girl. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve screamed this bridge in my car while driving by myself down the 990.

Were you supposed to not go to college? Stay in your mom’s house on the computer Googling grief cures, talking to no one Waiting for life to start feeling better Waiting for pain to not be a constant

13. A Change Of Heart - The 1975 - Such a good “I’ve moved on” song

You used to have a face straight out a magazine, now you just look like anyone

12. …Ready For It? - Taylor Swift - I’m gay

In the middle of the night, in my dreams You should see the things we do, baby

11. Two Ghosts - Harry Styles - WOW I MISS HAYLOR

We’re not who we used to be We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

10. I Don’t Fuck With You - Big Sean - I’m so glad this made the top ten. Thank you to Big Sean for CLEANSING us with this song.

Everyday I wake up celebrating shit, why? Because I just dodged a bullet from a crazy bitch

9. I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers - This song has been integral in me coming to terms with grief and bettering myself as a person. This is the ultimate hype track.

I chase that feeling of an eighteen year old who didn’t know what loss was

8. Love Me - The 1975 - This is the song that really got me into The 1975

A decline in the standards are what we accept

7. One Last Time - Ariana Grande - This is the most underrated of all of her singles, smh. It’s so good?

I don’t really care if you’ve got her in your heart I really care is you wake up in my arms So one last time, I need to be the one who takes you home

6. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars - This song takes my breath away. It’s so fucking real, it’s so accurate. I love this song so much, I’m surprised it isn’t higher on this list to be honest.

It’s nothing but time and a face that you lose I chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose I’ll write you a postcard I’ll send you a note, from the house down the road from real love Live through this, and you won’t look back There’s one thing I want to say, so I’ll be brave You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave I’m not sorry I met you, I’m not sorry it’s over I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save

5. No Halo - Sorority Noise - This song reminds me of Shawn, I think about how he didn’t come home for Mike’s funeral a lot. This whole album meant a lot to me, and Citizen cancelling their show and Sorority Noise playing a full set is one of the best things that happened to me in 2017.

So when you show up to my funeral, will you be wearing white or black?

4. Sex - The 1975 - I didn’t realize I listened to this much 1975 this year, lol

Now we’re on the bed in my room, and I’m about to fill his shoes But you say no, you say no

3. Bonfire - Childish Gambino - I listened to this during every workout I did this year, it’s such a pump up song

Tell me how I suck again my memory is hazy

2. Somebody Else - The 1975 - This song sounds like Depeche Mode and I am in love with it. It’s so pretty, and my sister and I would listen to it together all of the time.

I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else I don’t want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else

1. Cutting My Fingers Off - Turnover - Let the record show that if Michael and I ever break up, you can find me on my bedroom floor listening to this on an endless loop

To make you go, to make you go, I never wanted to make you go You might be a stranger now, but I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said

#personal #that took forever jesus christ #Spotify

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