#(this is just me rambling about my love for characters that are a little unhinged)

[bloggerspam]

Big thanks to @stealingyourbones for providing much needed context to Jason's search for his birth mom. This wouldn't exist without some semblance of canon to lean on! (Even if I do twist it in fandom fashion....DC stands for Disregard Canon after all)

===

When Jason gets a hold of himself, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and takes a deep breath.

It's a mistake.

When he heaves in air, it's with the acrid stench of dumpster and sewage, not to mention Jason's dinner in the form of glop.

Ugh.

When he gets his wits about him, he straightens up to find that he's in a familiar place: Crime Alley.

Dani, who had been rubbing his back, backs off with a sheepish smile. "Whoops! Forgot first timers can have a rough go of it."

"…Right." Jason spits out the last of the vomit taste, surveying their surroundings. He was just here, not a couple hours ago, when he was given his parents’ box of things. Even so, something is off. Different.

It's Crime Alley, no doubt about it, but…

"You're too young to have much of a past," Dani grabs his hand once more, floating them up to the rooftop, "But that doesn't mean there's nothing to show you."

Jason's been picked up by Superman, he's flown before, via hero or grapple, but he doesn't think he's ever felt gravity fall away quite like this. When she first picked him up this way, there wasn't enough time to even feel disoriented. Here and now, it takes him a minute just to get his footing, not that feet are all that involved in the process.

Dani doesn't help, doesn't even give him the space to properly get oriented, propelling them up and up and up.

But he does, at the same time he realizes that she's looking for something and referencing a piece of paper she's gotten from somewhere. No, wait. Jason squints. It's a post-it, a neon green one with a little map drawn on it in purple ink.

That's…a color combination for sure.

"A-ha!" Dani perks up, stuffing the sticky note in her pocket and jetting them forward.

Straight towards a building. Straight towards a wall.

"Wai—" Jason tries to tug himself free, brings his free arm up to, he doesn't know, brace himself? He braces his feet forward, as if to possibly stop their inevitable slamming into the side of a building.

"Oh don't be such a baby," Dani doesn't even look over at him, green eyes flashing bright green as her grin goes feral. They speed up, Jason's heart seems to beat out of his chest. He cries out, shutting his eyes as a shiver works its way through him, the chill of the wind slamming through him, a feeling of something jamming itself from his feet to his legs to his chest to his head—

But the impact never comes. He opens his eyes, and he stares behind them at the now interior side of…presumably, the building wall they were about to slam into.

Before he can really comprehend what that means, that chill crawls through him again, quick as a slap to the insides, from his feet to the back of his head, and then he blinks.

Density shifting.

Huh.

"You could have just said—" Jason grumbles, focusing once more on orienting himself. How did Ender do it? The enemy's gate is down.

Jason huffs. Thanks for nothing, Orson Scott Card.

They dip and dive and curve around buildings, going through some of them, with no real rhyme or reason. Dani hoots and hollers, and eventually, Jason joins in. It's fun, going through his neighborhood from this angle.

He thought he knew every nook and cranny, from the ground as Jason Todd and from the roofs as Robin, but even still, it was never like this.

It's like a rollercoaster, instead of the swoops and curves grappling gives, it's like gravity keeps shifting, like he's looking at his home upside down, left side up, right side diagonal. Every single little thing is new.

Most of all, this weightlessness.

Even when Dickie taught him those flips, he's never been so light.

He wonders if this is how a true robin feels, hollow bird bones and all.

Soon enough Dani pulls them up above some kind of warehouse, one of many in the district surrounding them.

"So here's the thing," Dani grabs both his hands now, forcing him to look at her, "I've got another trick up my sleeve, but the one thing I can't do is stop sound."

"Sound?" Jason is so very confused, but then right before his very eyes, Dani disappears.

No, they both disappear. What the—

"Invisibility?" Jason can't help but say. So much for bat-training.

"Dingdingding," Dani sing-songs, "Now be quiet, you want to know the truth, right?

Before Jason can say anything to that, his mouth clamps shut as he's pulled downwards through the building. The scene they arrive at isn't a pretty one.

There're men littered around the floor, unconscious, but mostly woundless. Only two occupants stay standing.

One is a woman with a stiff upper lip, muscles almost stocky in nature, if not for the petite stature that frames it all. Hair cut into a sharp, angled bob; everything about her screams fighter. She's beautiful and rough at the same time.

She's also standing above, bloody knuckles and all, Jason Todd's very own birth dad: Willis Todd.

"You're gonna regret this, Shiva." Willis growls, hand clamped down on his bloodied arm.

The woman, Shiva, scoffs as she flicks blood off her knife. Jason resists scoffing himself, looking at the state of them.

Willis is bloodied, covered in knicks and cuts all over, but Shiva?

Pristine, save for the blood of her apparent enemies.

"Regret?" Shiva saunters over to Willis where he's collapsed and leaning on a stack of crates, "Do not be delusional. Your boss is the one who will regret this."

Willis bites his lip, but wisely keeps quiet. Shiva tilts his face up with a finger to his chin, getting in real close to whisper something in the scant space between them.

Jason stiffens from where he's watching with Dani, is this where they fall in love? Did Dani bring him here to witness something nasty right now?

But no. Shiva straightens up, pushing Willis' face away roughly with the tips of her really long nails. They look like claws, especially when they leave a cut on Willis' chin.

"Give your boss my regards, Todd." The click of Shiva's heels echo almost in time to Willis' pants of pain, "You know where to find me, once he regains what little sense he has."

It takes a long time for Willis to gather himself after that.

He wants to say something real bad, but Dani had said other people could still hear them in this state. The only reason Jason even knows he's not alone is the warmth coming from the hand in his.

He watches as his father limps his way out of the warehouse silently, the scrape of his shoe louder than any other noise.

When Willis turns the corner out of the warehouse, Jason feels himself being tugged up and through the ceiling to float in the sky, visibility returning as well as it can in the dim lights of Gotham.

Dani's eyes are focused on the distance, where his father is still limping away.

"What was that?" Jason finally asks, "Why did you show me this, is Shiva my mother after all?"

"That look romantic to you?" Dani rolls her eyes, dragging him to follow his wayward father, "I just wanted to give you context."

"Context?" Jason watches as his father enters what looks like a backdoor clinic, "For what?"

Dani doesn't answer, simply nose-dives them through the clinic’s ceiling.

There, Willis is getting patched up by a blond woman.

They look close.

They look intimate.

"Willis," The woman coos, "You have got to choose better employers."

"I know, I know," Willis soothes as she cleans out his cuts, "Soon, I promise."

"First they chose that secret agent double-crossing you," The woman clearly doesn't believe him, "Now this mercenary!"

"Sharmin, Shiva, I'm sensing a pattern," Willis chuckles weakly, "Got shit luck with the ladies, huh Sheila?"

Sheila rolls her eyes. "Do not lump me in with those…those harlots!"

Willis guffaws, and Sheila smiles as she finishes wrapping him up, giving in and laughing with him.

When they've calmed down, they stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, smiling.

"You've at least got one lady you get lucky with." Sheila grins, placing a gentle hand on Willis' chest.

Jason wants to gag.

"Helluva lady." Willis intones with a gravelly voice, "Might buy a lotto ticket."

They lean in, hard to say who does it first, to share a soft and gentle kiss.

"Aaaaand that's enough of that." Dani whispers, swiftly pulling them back through the ceiling.

She shivers dramatically, the movement of it jerking Jason a little, "Ugh. Old people flirting."

"You can say that again." Jason can feel his face scrunching up in disgust.

Dani twirls them up, and soon enough they're swallowed by the smog.

Here, in this faint darkness, it feels like Jason's in a dream. The smog feels endless and relenting, and perfectly encapsulates how lost he feels.

"So this Sheila woman is my birth mother?" Jason says into the abyss, not really expecting an answer.

"Yep." Dani answers f, "Was it everything you hoped for?"

"….They looked cozy." Jason says instead of answering. "In love, even. Gross as old people love can be."

"They were, I think." Dani agrees but doesn't expand, letting the silence float away into the smudge of Gotham Smog. It percolates, drifts around him as his emotions whirl within him like a silent tornado, zipping this way and that, sweeping all his thoughts away like a house in Kansas.

The sound of his blood pumping in his ears overlaps with the sounds of wind whipping round and round and round.

"….He was never like that, with Mom." Jason doesn't recognize the voice, at first, realizing too late that it was his own, raspy and lost, "Is it because he's younger, here?"

"I don't know." Dani shrugs carelessly, though her brows are furrowed in worry.

"I thought, even after everything, that my parents loved each other once upon a time." The smog surrounding them makes it hard for Jason to feel tethered, so he focuses on Dani's neon green eyes. "I thought maybe things just went wrong, that Willis changed because of—because of his job."

He doesn't realize how tightly he'd been squeezing her hand until she squeezes back. He almost lets go, before remembering he's only floating by virtue of her powers. She sighs.

"It's not your fault," Dani whispers, raising her free hand to hover over the medallion. The gears start to turn slowly again, the ticks and tocks jerky like they're being forced to spin. "No matter what, you have to remember that."

The smog starts to swirl, but Jason knows better now. He braces, shuts his eyes, and breathes as the world starts to shift again.

It's both quicker and slower than before. When he blinks, he's floating and thankfully not even a little bit nauseous. But it takes him longer to realize where, or rather, when they were.

They're in the old Crime Alley apartment, the one that Jason used to live in with his parents, floating just above the sofa.

Willis is digging through the fridge, grumbling, looking worse for wear.

Dani tugs his hand, snagging his attention, a finger to her mouth in the universal sign for quiet. Half a second before Willis slams the fridge door closed and turns around to see them, they both go invisible.

The noise begets another rustle, a little disgruntled murmur.

"Quiet," Willis soothes, "Mama ain't here anymore."

The man comes over to a crib, set in the living room for some reason, groaning as he rocks the baby back to sleep.

It takes another second for Jason to realize it's him.

"C'mon kid, I know you miss her." Willis gruffs out, "But she left you for dead."

The man sighs as baby Jason squirms, as if to refute him. "Still got shit luck with the ladies." He squeezes the baby, touches forehead to forehead. Baby Jason settles real quick after that. Much to Willis' apparent relief.

He looks tired, Willis. He looks broken down and on the verge of wasting away.

There's a knock at the door, soft and delicate. Willis stiffens but relaxes when Baby Jason stays asleep, gently placing him back in his crib.

He goes over to the door, and oh.

"You Todd?" Catherine asks, twitchy and young. In her early 20s, if Jason's math is right.

"Who's lookin'?" Willis leans against the door jamb, blocking the woman out of his apartment.

"Somebody wantin' to flip a coin." Catherine drawls. It's clearly a code phrase, and Willis grunts.

"Stay here." Willis tries to shut the door, but Catherine shoves a foot into the path, eyes blazing like she's daring him to shut the door in her face again. Willis darts a glance at Baby Jason, tense, but clearly deciding it would be faster to just grab the thing and make the lady go.

"Stay. Here." He growls out, letting go of the door and stomping back into the bedroom.

Catherine scoffs, but doesn't step further in.

That is, until Baby Jason makes a little noise.

She perks up, gently pushing the door in to find the source, eyes widening at the sight of the crib.

She looks towards the hallway where Willis disappeared, and Jason can practically feel the way she thinks fuck it.

Baby Jason is sniffling now, almost full-blown crying, startled by the stranger near his crib.

Catherine coos at him, ignoring the sounds of Willis running towards the commotion.

He stops in his tracks when he sees her soothing Baby Jason, bouncing him up and down in her arms and softly whispering nonsense into his ears.

Willis stays tense, his only son in the arms of a stranger, as he watches her put a now calm baby back into the crib.

"Are you hungry, little man?" Catherine asks, before snapping fingers at Willis. "Where's his milk? When's the last time you fed him?"

"Two hours ago," Willis bristles, storming over now that Baby Jason is relatively safe and pushing a small box into the woman's hands.

"So he's due for another meal," She says, not taking her eyes off of Baby Jason. Willis growls, using that box to push her away from the crib, towards the kitchen and the front door next to it.

"I know." He pushes her towards the door, "I'm gonna feed him after you're gone."

True to his word, he shuts the door, huffing and puffing for a moment like an angry cat, before heading to the kitchen to start the process of warming up formula.

He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter as he waits for the milk to finish warming up, eyes shut and clearly trying to keep it together.

Jason and Dani watch as the microwave dings, quickly followed by a comical yelp as Willis opens his eyes to see Catherine, sans box, opening the microwave door and snagging the bottle to beeline towards Baby Jason.

"Wait—you—" Willis dashes over, thrown off guard, "You didn't test the fucking milk!"

"Don't swear in front of the baby." Catherine sniffs, stopping beside the crib and testing the temp on the back of her hand. She hums, making an approving face at Willis, seemingly deeming it perfect.

She pushes the bottle back into Willis' hands just as he comes to a stop before he can reach out and grab her. The momentary confusion allows her to gently pick Baby Jason back up into her arms.

"Here you go big guy," She coos, putting her palm out and flexing her fingers in a demand for the bottle, which Willis dazedly acquiesces to. "Dinner's served."

Jason watches as his birth dad slumps, defeated, and tries not to fucking laugh.

He must be close to losing it, because suddenly his arm is yanked up, and he goes through the roof into the open air of the Gotham sky.

He looks over, Dani coming back into visual, and they both burst out laughing.

"Is—" Jason heaves a breath, getting himself back to rights, "Is that how they got together?"

Dani's giggles echo through the buildings, "Actually, no!"

"What???" Her giggles peter off as she wipes a tear from her eyes, grinning at Jason's confusion.

"It takes them a while," Dani’s eyes are so very bright in her mirth, "She has a couple more pick-ups to do, and every single time she comes a little earlier, leaves a little later, all so she can play with and feed you."

Something warm bubbles in Jason's gut, like steam traveling through the nooks and crannies of him. It goes out from the center until the very tips of his feet and hands and head are warmed through.

"And then she comes by a week later, unannounced." Dani pulls them back down through the building, landing them outside the apartment, down the hallways of it. She drags him as the medallion spins once more, this time smoother, quicker, and it's like a hop, skip and a step as the world becomes a mirage, solidifying again.

The once-empty hallway now has Catherine, duffle bag in tow, knocking gently at the door. A minute goes by, and a sleepy Willis Todd opens up, confused as all hell.

"I love your baby," Catherine says. "I love him, and he's mine."

Willis stares at her through bleary eyes, brows furrowed in indignation.

"I can't steal him away," She continues, ignoring the way Willis puffs up in threat, "And you can't do this alone."

A beat.

And then Willis deflates. He brings up a hand to ruffle his hair, grumbling and frustrated and clearly knowing that she's right.

He steps back and opens the door wider.

Catherine beams, before skipping inside, the door closing with a soft little snick.

"They loved you." Dani says, once more visible, "Whatever happened after, they did love you."

"I know." Jason whispers, a little broken, "I just don't know why they stopped."

Dani bites her lip, fingering the medallion, before clutching it in trepidation. Teeth worrying her lip, she looks at him, and breathes a cold, heavy sigh that stirs up the wind around them.

"Willis loved Sheila," Dani begins, walking towards the end of the hallway as it starts to ripple, like a mirage. The medallion hums more ticks and tocks and starts to whirl, spinning softly yet too fast. It makes it hard to tell which way it's spinning, clicking this way and that in an optical illusion.

Dani chooses a door, a dark purple one that wasn't there before, opening it up and pulling him in.

The room is equally purple, dark, and dimly lit, with just as purple furniture: A single sofa and a small TV, staticky and glowing a faint green.

Dani leads him to sit on the sofa, gesturing to the TV as scenes start to play, skipping and fast-forwarding and pausing and playing as she talks.

"Her leaving broke something in him." Sheila with a suitcase, slamming the door on her way out. Willis with his head in his hands as Baby Jason cries and cries and cries.

"Catherine loved you," Dani smiles at a series of moments, Catherine blowing raspberries, tickling his belly, having baby food fights with him just because, "And she made it easier, made it better."

"Eventually, she came to love Willis too." This particular scene plays in slow motion, Catherine and toddler Jason giggling with each other, drawing what looks like a family portrait in crayons. Toddler Jason's isn't too bad for his age. Catherine's isn't too bad for her age either.

It makes current Jason smile, until something catches Catherine's eye, her smile never dimming as Willis comes in to laugh at their drawings, eyes going all gooey as this invisible camera zooms in.

"But Willis…" Dani bites her lip again, watching with him as the scenes skip and fast forward. "Willis was stuck."

Willis watching Catherine and Jason playing on the living room floor, Catherine coaxing him to bed, Willis sitting alone on the couch, over and over with different activities, different clothes, different days.

But always, with Willis sitting in the dark, a single beer in one hand, a torn-up picture in the other.

Until it’s two beers, then three. Eventually, Catherine tries to coax him to bed only to get rebuffed.

More bottles of beer, more times away. Catherine finds a stash.

Catherine crying in the dead of the night, after smiling all day for Jason. Until eventually she can't, chasing a high she can't have.

"I don't love you." Willis is saying, voice boxy and tin-like through the old school speakers, "I don't love you, and that's the problem."

Catherine is sobbing, and Jason knows that pre-teen Jason is sitting on the other side of that door behind her.

"All life's a game," Willis hiccups, taking a long swig, "And we're all fuckin' losers."

Jason watches as more scenes flip through, familiar ones. Painful ones, phantom bruises on his arms and face.

The TV goes static again, but Jason doesn't look away. Can't.

He thinks about Bruce, his fight with him. Jason throwing those exact words at him, how powerful being Robin makes him feel.

All life's a game, Jason had said, not knowing, not remembering where it came from.

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Jason mutters, clenching his fist.

Dani sighs again, grabbing his hand and lifting him up, the medallion coughing and sputtering as the room around them fades back to a familiar sight: his room at the Manor.

"I didn't show you these things so you could wallow." Dani grumbles, dropping him unceremoniously onto his bed.

He bounces once, twice, a breath knocking out of him lightly from the sudden drop and impact.

"Why did you show me then?" Jason grumbles back, maintaining his position as a depressed starfish in the middle of his stupid giant bed.

"You're the one that wanted to know!" Dani throws her hands up, exasperated, "You're the one that wanted answers. I gave them to you, and now you're no fun. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Jason doesn't answer. Can't, really.

Because she's right. It is what he wanted. He knows who his birth mom is, he knows why Catherine was like that, and most of all, he understands Willis Todd's shitty fucking life.

Great Tragic Backstory, still a fucking asshole.

"I should have listened to Danny…" Dani mutters to herself, floating upside down as her face scrunches up in consternation, "He can probably fix this…"

"Did you forget your cane at home?" Jason jolts up, turning to see Danny's head popping up through the bed, like some kind of fucked up swamp creature, without the water. Jason shakes his head, plopping down again when Danny fully emerges to float up to Dani.

"What cane?" Dani tilts her head in confusion, but allows Danny to fuss over her.

Jason scoffs, He's the one being taken for a ride, what danger would she be in? Talk about overbearing.

"Your seeing cane," Danny answers matter of factly, before grinning with sharp teeth, "It's just, that was a lotta blind faith you got there, y'know?"

"I thought big brothers knew everything!" Dani giggles as she pushes Danny away. "But I guess you're right, that was too much to expect from you, huh?"

His grin gets a little sharper, if that's possible with the fangs he's rocking, as he lunges for her to put her in a headlock. They tussle like that, Jason watching from where he's still starfishing.

It's nice to see, if a little envious. He thinks about Dick, and then adamantly doesn't. He sits up to ruffle his own hair in frustration.

He's still not sure how to feel about Willis, about finding out about his birth mom leaving him for dead.

About Catherine, the mom he always knew about, the mom he knew nothing about,

The mom he lost.

Bruce was right, he's a fucking mess about this. He doesn't know what to feel, but he knows this at least:

Robin is magic, and Jason?

Jason's just an unwanted kid running around in tights.

Playing.

He blows out a breath, wallowing.

"He's doing it again." Dani's voice breaks him out of his funk, lifting his head to look over at the ghost siblings.

"I see what you mean." Danny tilts his head in thought, "A real self-deprecating sort, huh?"

"Tell me you have depression without saying you have depression." Dani grumbles, grossing her arms and hunching her shoulders up.

Danny hums, giving her a pat on the head and looking contemplative as he watches Jason straighten up to sit at the edge of the bed. If Christmas Carol was the theme, that means it's Danny's turn. Ghost of Christmas Present and all that.

Jason's not really looking forward to it. Sure, it helped Scrooge to see the current state of things from the other side, but Jason already knows his state of things.

Bruce is mad, Alfred's disappointed, and Dickie couldn’t care less. If Sheila's alive, she probably already thinks he's dead. Mrs. Walker has washed her hands of his family, he's sure, and the rest of the Alley…Well.

It ain't unusual to lose an acquaintance or two over there.

Dani throws her arms up, huffing as she jerkily takes the medallion off to toss it at Danny. "He's your problem now."

"Mom wants you home for dinner!" Danny calls out as he puts on the medallion and opens up a glowing green portal for Dani to go through.

Dani mumbles and grumbles as she passes through, Jason catching phrases like wanted to know and not be fudge and disappearing with the portal in a little pop!

Leaving Jason alone with the ever-present looming of the Present.

A Christmas Carol AU

Inspired by a prompt found in the @haunting-heroes-creative-games :) (i.e. back on my shit again)

When a 15 year old Jason, pissed at Bruce for taking Robin away from him, finds his birth certificate he realizes Catherine Todd is not his real mother.

Just as he resolves to go out and search for his birth mother, Jason finds himself accosted by three ghosts in his room, talking about A Christmas Carol of all things.

===

"So, what? We're gonna Christmas Carol him?"

Dan scoffs, crossing his bulky arms with an unimpressed look. "We hated that movie."

"I didn't." Dani chirps, disturbingly cheery, "I didn't see it!"

"We hate Christmas," Danny corrects, "But the movie was alright, and the logic is sound."

"I don't hate Christmas," Dani once again interjects cheerily, "I've never participated!"

"Sound my ass," Dan growls over her, throwing his hands up. "We don't even know this guy!"

"Minor detail." Danny insists, "Tuck can look him up."

"He's a fucking Bat, Danny." Dan scrunches up his face, pinching the bridge of his nose just like Vlad does when he's disgruntled with any of Dad's shenanigans.

"He's a Robin, actually." Dani pipes in, "And he's just a kid. How hard is it gonna be to pretend to be this kid's Ghosts?"

"You're a kid," Dan reminds her, crossing his arms, "And you didn't believe me when I told you sticking a fork in the outlet would shock you."

"I believed you," Dani sniffs haughtily, crossing her arms and pointing her nose up with a snooty voice, "The warning simply did not deter me from doing it anyway."

"We don't have to convince him we're his Ghosts, or even that we knew him before," Danny reasons, needling, "We just have to convince him that we're…"

He hums, pointing at Dani. "Past."

He points at himself, "Present."

He points at Dan, "Future."

Dani does a little cheer, arms up and twirling into the air before landing with her legs over Dan's shoulders, hands and head settling atop Dan's fiery, but harmless, hair. It flickers, before going limp into long white strands that Dani messes up by gently scrunching up the strands and running her fingers through them.

Dan lets her, huffing and looking weirdly like a downtrodden, wet cat. "Why am I future?"

"Because." Danny doesn't continue, because he knows it makes Dan annoyed. True to form, his scowl gets worse, like sucking on a lemon. They all know why anyway.

Dani grins, triumphant and knowing, letting her voice go real deep, "The future," she intones into Dan's hair, "is here."

"The future is now," Danny corrects her, but doesn't lose his smile, floating up to tuck a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

"The future is already here," Dan mumbles his correction, or is it a follow-up? "It's just not evenly distributed."

"How about you distribute some of those muscles, Gibson," Danny sighs, shaking his head "Waiting for puberty is such a drag, and we both know you didn't get the mass from Vlad's side of the family."

Dan makes a moue of disgust, but it serves him right. The consequences of his own actions, and whatnot. He looks up at Dani, who simply shrugs. "I think you'll do great." She leans down to give him two pats on the arm.

"So how's acting out A Christmas Carol gonna help us stop this Jason guy from blowing up?" Dani fiddles with Dan's hair, tongue poking out as she attempts a braid, "Will he even see us? Ghosts in this dimension taste funny."

"He'll be able to see us, it's magically rich enough for some ghosts to maintain a semblance of themselves," Danny explains for the third time. Dani and Dan hum at different pitches, and even though Danny is the common denominator he kind of hates that Vlad has more of a lasting impression on them. "The ectoplasm here is scarce and mostly corrupted, though, so it's rare."

"So there's lotsa bad ghosts here?" Dani eyes the messy braid she's made, proud, even as Dan's silky hair immediately causes it to fall apart, "Or 'mentally unsound' or whatever Frostbite called it."

"No," Dan grumbles, annoyed and indulging all at once, "Corruption begets ecto-rot, but the scarcity means they're not strong enough to actually retain their sense of self enough to rot."

"Shades," Danny explains when Dani looks even more confused, "There's lots of shades."

"Is this one of the Olympian dimensions?" Dani groans, flopping over Dan's shoulder as he sits down on the sofa, "I love Pandora and all, but if I see Zeus again I'm gonna lose it."

"It's one of the hero dimensions," Danny hums, taking over braiding Dan's hair the way Jazz made him when they were little, "There's a couple of Amazons walking about, but on the whole no Olympians."

"I don't know why he didn't just dump me in a Norse dimension." Dan leans back and closes his eyes to their ministrations. "Especially with my current occupation."

The three of them are sitting in Dan's apartment, a large loft studio located somewhere in the UK of the aforementioned hero-dimension. Alber-something, Danny can't remember. Doesn't need to, it being a different dimension from his anyway.

Dan doesn't have a lot of things: a sofa and TV, a bed in the corner, a decent but small kitchen. They're still trying to figure out decorations, but Dan on the whole is a minimalist so it's been slow going.

He's working as a bartender these nights, whiling away his odd existence now that his form has stabilized.

And wasn't that a trip? Learning that hey, adult lightning halfas shouldn't really be mixed with teenage ice halfas, actually!

Apparently, ectoplasm can become corrupted if you try to combine incompatible sources.

Apparently, side effects include (but are not limited to) unmitigated violence and a devastating need for vengeance.

Sound familiar?

"This dimension has a lot of time continuity errors," Danny reminds him, "Dropping you here gave the least amount of pushback."

"Yeah, yeah," Dan flaps a lazy hand, "Praise be the speedforce and flashpoints and whatnot."

"Plus," Dani adds softly, absent-minded as she watches Danny finish up the braid, "Lotsa heroes to help out if you relapse."

Dan heaves a slow, controlled sigh. Danny and Dani both pretend they don't notice.

"Is it bad?" Dan doesn't open his eyes, his voice is so low Danny can only hear him by virtue of his ghost powers, "Like me levels bad?"

"No." Danny shakes his head, leaning into his older self, his older brother of sorts, "He decapitated eight crime lords, killed a couple of assassins, maybe an innocent or two depending on your definition of things."

"Past tense?" Dan scrunches his nose. They all hate how confusing Time Shenanigans are.

"He's living as Red Hood, right this very moment."

"Red Hood?" Dani questions, "That his hero name?"

"Crime lord alias." Danny corrects her, "But he's more of a vigilante these days. Has a bat on his chest and everything."

"But it's bad enough to warrant a trip to the past." Dan points out, "Bad enough for us to try and persuade him. Does he relapse?"

"Not…exactly." Danny scrunches his face, not wanting to explain Clockwork's ambiguity.

Dani floats to spread over Danny and Dan's laps, sprawling out and purring like a cat. Self-soothing, though it's more for their benefit than hers.

"Like Dani said, there’re lots of heroes here, and he doesn't have powers." Danny continues, petting at Dani's soft hair, "The world doesn't end. He doesn't have the means to, even with the ecto-rot."

Danny pauses, and chooses his words deliberately and carefully. "And deep down, Jason Todd is a hero through and through. Relapse would be…difficult. His Obsession is similar to yours."

Dan lets that sit for a moment, but nods, Danny moving a little with the motion. The tension slowly bleeds out as they wait like that, enjoying each other's company.

"If the world doesn't end," Dani whispers, "Why is Clockwork sending all of us?"

Danny thinks on that, on his meeting with Clockwork. The Ancient's voice when he explained what would happen.

He thinks about Jason Todd, about Bruce Wayne, and Catherine, and Sheila. He thinks about Batman, and Robin.

He thinks about Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, about Damian Al Ghul, about Cassandra Cain, and all of Jason's Outlaws.

He thinks about a tattered uniform that stays up in a glass case for a long, long time.

Most of all, he thinks about Dan.

He thinks about regrets and one bad day away.

And then he stops thinking about it, because sometimes the past is the past, and other times, it's the future that never happens that haunts you instead.

"You know, Dani." He settles on, "I'm not sure. He probably has his reasons."

Dan leans heavier onto him, and they lean together like that, with Dani in their laps.

Ghosts of decisions made, unmade, and never to be.

Follow the story on AO3 here!

[godofstupidsentences]

I think fic authors should make Theo a little feral… as a treat

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

These are a couple doodles from yesterday, Gideon as a younger teen, before the growth spurt, maybe 14? He's discovered he's a vampire, and has a lot of recovery to do, since he's severely blood deficient.

I'm gonna let myself explode about my vampire gideon ideas, under construction, under the cut: (I don't write fanfiction, I just throw up my ideas on a tumblr post, apparently :'D)

This is what I love about tumblr - it's a place where I can throw the doodles (something that isn't finished *artwork*), and let myself be really delusional about fictional characters. So I'm gonna take a moment to ramble about the ideas I have for Gideon as a vampire.

If you're a fellow Gideon Head, HI THERE... anyway, here's my thought process on a potential vampire-gideon backstory???

I've always liked the idea of gideon being a vampire, and also becoming a much better person when he's older. And that got me thinking, maybe those two things are linked. Maybe the vampire thing is somehow tied into his reformation.

But I tend to lean towards building my ideas off canon (as opposed to making an AU). And if gideon was a vampire, and knew this during the events of the show, it would have come to light at some point. So, either he doesn't know he's a vampire, or he becomes one later. Becoming one later works narratively, but he's already so vampiric, with the white hair, pale skin, sunscreen, evil, etc. So I'm like, let's go with that.

So, gideon has gone his whole life without knowing he's a vampire, and without drinking blood. I'm thinking that being a vampire in this case (my gravity falls fan version of what a vampire would be) wouldn't adhere to typical vampire conventions. You don't NEED to drink blood to survive.

Here's the idea I got yesterday: after the events of weirdmageddon, gideons experience motivated him to become a better person. It was the awakening, basically. But in the subsequent years, he's still a little shit. Maybe he's in juvenile detention, or prison again. But now, he has the self awareness to know that what he's doing is wrong. This is where my ideas get a little fuzzy, so bear with me. Bud has his suspicions, and as a last resort, puts gideon on some sort of mission trip type of cross country trip, when he's in his teens. And along the way, maybe at the end, there's this secret group of vampires that open gideons eyes to what he really is.

Basically??? Without blood, gideon is very evil. He's an evil little shit. This may not be how it is for every vampire. Maybe some grow very sickly without blood, just get hungry, etc. The effects of blood deficiency vary from vampire to vampire. But Gideon becomes very unhinged. And he'd essentially been Blood Hangry for his whole life. That being said, some of it was just his personality that he needed to work through, but drinking some blood helped a LOT. Blood isn't food for him, it's more like his medication.

Once he has that discovery, he spends a long while, I'm thinking maybe even a year, just recovering from the deficiency. He's almost always drinking blood to keep up his levels, and he's very rarely seen in public to keep the vampire thing a secret. That's what these drawings were supposed to be, him in his pseudo bedridden state. This period in his life would be one big blur; mostly spent binge watching soap operas and being all cozy. In contrast to his usual suit + tie, he's dressing for max comfort: sweatpants, sweatshirt, a knit hat over his ridiculously big hair, and always wrapped in a blanket. Not sure if somehow he feels cold when drinking blood?? But for some reason, I feel like he'd always be wearing like 10 layers and laying under a heated blanket or something.

Eventually, he'd only need to drink blood about once a month for maintenance.

Character development wise - even as an adult, Gideon isn't sure if he's truly a good person. Is the blood deficient version of himself the true gideon? Or is this well adjusted man who he truly is? And there's an issue of the chicken and the egg, too. Gideon was born a vampire. Did these genes activate because he was predisposed to being evil? Or did the vampire thing happen by coincidence? Does being a vampire make him evil, or is it the other way around? He doesn't know, and he never will.

The one thing I'm not sure I like about this idea: i'm worried that I'd be writing off his villainous personality as an illness that can be cured with a thing. Obviously, it would be better if he faced that head on, and figured out how to be better. So I'm still grappling with that. But for now, this is an idea I'm entertaining. Of course, I think it would be interesting if there was a plot point where his usual source of ethically sourced human blood was compromised for a time, and he had to grapple with his personality going topsy turvy.

It's actually embarrassing how much I just wrote???? If you've made it this far, wow, I applaud you. I guess this was just my idea of having a good sunday night, writing down my silly thoughts on gideon gosh darn gleeful. Let me know your thoughts too!!!! I'd love to know if you have any ideas, or questions, or ways to strengthen this potential backstory.

[sokuly419]

So now that I cried, sat in relative silence for about an hour, and had some time to sleep… I think I can make some kind of choppy ramble about Act 2. It’s gonna be long… sorry.

First, let’s just appreciate the cheap shots.

Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands” after just absolutely dogging on each other.

Vi calling Cait a “rich, unhinged mongoose” and Cait following it up with “angry oil slick.”

Cait cracking Vi in the face with the butt of her rifle (seriously, girl, stop it) and giving the “I’m really sorry but you asked” shrug.

Vi spitting on Cait’s cheek just for her to wipe it across her lips.

Vi telling Ambessa to “just shut the fuck up.”

Guys. This act was pure pettiness and lovely.

Okay, I think a handful of people need to be reminded there was a time jump of several months. I’ve been seeing a lot of people accusing Cait of immediate rebound with Maddie and an immediate switch when she reunited with Vi. More on that later.

The way I started out mad as fuck because, well, Maddie. I did laugh at the way Cait kept pulling away every time Maddie tried to get intimate. Girl was feeling all sorts of guilt about it I think. When Cait made a comment about not thinking about it going on so long, it could either be taken as whatever she had going on with Maddie or about the martial law. I have a feeling they were going for the martial law situation, but I saw it as either. Either way, there’s some kind of realization that happened.

Honestly, Jinx was dishing it out the whole time and I loved it. All of it. She’s just a little shit. Jinx was never my favorite, but like I said before, I do like her. No hate here. And her relationship with Isha and Sevika? Come on. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Now, I’ve never played the game and I don’t ever plan to but I have listened to the in game dialogue or have at least heard some of it. And I’m so glad we got Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands.”

Vi was a damn mess. I mean, we all knew it was gonna happen. But seeing her pale and sunken? Even after Jinx shows up? Ooooof.

The banter with Jinx was lovely. They’re just sisters and it shows.

And we finally got to see her actually smile. Only for it to be ripped away. Again.

Now… I want to address the seemingly sudden switch for a lot of things, particularly Cait and Vi.

There was a time jump of “months.” Even if it wasn’t flat out said, you can tell by the length of Vi’s hair. It doesn’t get that much longer in even a single month or even two or three, guys. On average it’s about 6” per year. Even in the trailers and teasers we got before s2 even started, I knew there was going to be a time jump at some point based on that alone. I remember kinda looking at my wife like, “Vi’s hair is… longer. Wonder when that happens.” I’m thinking this jump is around 8-10 months after Act 1

Anyhow, the characters had time to think and do things in that time. Cait probably finally started to realize her actions do, in fact, have consequences. And seeing Vi again was the final nail in that coffin. We watched her fold quickly. And that little “cupcake” sealed it. And before we start getting into the “I can’t believe they’re working together again so quick after what Cait did” let’s take a second to think about the Act 3 teaser. They’re gonna argue. 100% things are going to get thrown in Cait’s face. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine.

And then there’s Vi. People are dogging on her for essentially losing a physical interaction with Cait when she fought in a pit for a living for those several months. To start, it was an ambush and took her by surprise (Jinx was also able to land one hell of a slap by taking her by surprise too). Cait also had a weapon at her disposal and used it (seriously, can we stop hitting Vi with the butt of the rifle?). Now this is just me throwing some realness into all of this, but Vi was drinking a lot and falling into alcoholism. When you stop drinking, you feel weaker and sick and foggy (at least that how it was for me). I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was something to do with how easy it was for Cait to take her down. Vi was likely going through some withdrawals. Again, that’s just some speculation and giving some real life attributes.

Now for them to trust and work together again so quickly? I think it was at a level of just needing to get something done and complete the “mission.” At least at first. The amount of care and love Cait still has for Vi was so obvious. Which brings me to… y’all should really listen to Oil & Water by PVRIS. It’s been confirmed a while ago (if I’m remembering correctly) that it’s about Cait and Vi from primarily Cait’s POV. Vi clearly still loves Cait but she’s also still, rightfully, pissed off and hurt.

Can Jayce just… leave shit alone? Just once. For the sake of everyone. Doing that to Viktor was uncalled for and now he caused even more problems.

I’m still not ready to talk about Isha. Because what the actual fuck. The music and flashback montage started and I knew… I just knew. The tears started and then the explosion and then I was full on sobbing. Not cool. I’m still in absolute shock.

Vi having to watch Vander die AGAIN. Give the girl a damn break, please.

Also, where’s Ekko and Heimerdinger? We need the unproblematic ones to calm everything down a few notches. Ekko just wants his tree fixed, man.

My thoughts on Act 3? I’m still hoping we get the Caitvi sex scene. But I’m also so scared someone else is going to die now. Like absolutely terrified.

“Hope you got a chance to, you know, before…”

I will simply give up on everything. Full on rage quit and I’ll end up like Vi at the bottom of that pit.

Someone please tell me I’m wrong and looking too far into it.

Or Jinx sacrificing herself? That’s a popular opinion I’ve been seeing.

I need answers. I need Ekko’s tree fixed and Caitvi to just end up together without question.

And this concludes this round of Arcane season 2 Act 2 rambling.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Tibetan Sea Flower - Ep 1

Yeah, sorry to The Spirealm but I've been very upfront about my intention to drop everything as soon as Tibetan Sea Flower came out.

I wasn't expecting it to drop overnight while I was asleep with zero warning but here we are. The DMBJ fandom is the embodiment of chaos and that extends to the way they release things too.

Also apologies to Choi San. I was going to gif you today but, well, see the above.

Apparently the official English title for this is Adventures Behind the Bronze Door but we've all been calling it Tibetan Sea Flower forever and that's also the title of the novella so I'm using that for my liveblogs. I'll use both titles in the tags.

Right, I've rambled enough. I'm going in.

Oh, god, I'm not ready.

Okay, first of all OMG LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE! But, also, I love that this flashback has him still looking older than he does in the retirement era movies

I mean he is not a skilled tomb raider, this is true. That doesn't stop him from trying though

Wait, that's the baby triangle! Are you telling me a 27 year old and a 44 year old are playing a character at the same age? I know I shouldn't expect logic from DMBJ but come on

Wait, is this a completely different actor? At first I thought they'd just used special effects to make Zhang Luyi look younger but I don't think that's actually him at all

Aww it's nice to see Wang Bowen back too. I do enjoy his Pangzi

Okay, but why is Young Pangzi being played by the same person who played retirement age Pangzi in the movies. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

I don't know who this is because the drama doesn't even had a MDL page yet but I like him. He's a good baby Wu Xie. Look at his little face when Pangzi says they need to go and see if Xiaoge is still alive or not

There's our special boy!

Starting with the whump early. Love to see it.

Only 20 mins into the first episode and Pangzi is crying because he thinks he found Xiaoge's body. I'm fine. This is fine.

FFS I know he's not dead and this is still devastating

Take a drink! It's the standard DMBJ hallucination!

Oh, not even that! It was all a dream!

Bleeding himself to lower his heart rate enough to fake being dead is definitely a very Xiaoge thing to do

I guess that's one way of describing what happened

Is he...using his architecture skills to map out the Zhang ancestral home that he went to? IS HE DOING ACTUAL ARCHITECTURE?

And wipe out an entire family so it was safe for Xiaoge when he got out, but we don't need to mention that small detail

I do like that this one shot shows you how obsessed and unhinged Wu Xie was during the time Xiaoge was gone

AH HAH! Now he's Zhang Luyi!

SURPRISE JI XIAOBING XIAO HUA????

A NEW XIUXIU??? Everything happens so much!

Baby, do you know what franchise you're in?

So weird seeing Xiaoge without his hood

Well, that was a lot. And I still have another 2 episodes to watch. Good thing it's a bank holiday here today

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

so gang....there's this historian...who's only had approximately 21 minutes of screentime...

unhinged rambling over a fictional character under the cut

I have always loved ulysses ever since the prologue came out back in december 2022, but after my recent rewatch in preparation for chapter 1 coming out later this year, my interest in his character has sparked into a full-blown hyperfixation??? it feels like ulysses wilhelm was designed specifically for me I'm going to be so honest. like, there's the surface level being that he's a boyfailure twink and that kind of character always seems to attract me, but everything else about his character from his design, his personality, his voice, the little aspects of him like the fact that him specifically noting down classmate birthdays and him updating a common phrase to sound more modern shows a genuine desire to connect with his class despite his clear social ineptitude, and also just...him having knowledge about the internet enough to know about internet arguments despite disliking computers?? silly ass. I've also like, never really seriously headcannoned a character with a mental disorder before, even ones that I have myself, but I am actually being so serious when I say that ulysses is literally just my inattentive adhd manifested into a person. I have not felt so represented in so long, and its by a character who doesn't even canonically have it, and I think its very special and a testament to how talented the writing crew behind p:eg is that they can make me feel that or anything I'm typing in this post despite, again, this character only being on screen for 21 minutes he is literally just me in every single way possible, actually. we literally even have the same birthday. I'm not a supernatural person, but like..I think me saying that this character was made for me might not be hyperbole after all. ...he's also just so fucking cute. Can I say that?? LOOK at this fucker??

his slightly scruffy hair that looks like he just woke up from one of his naps, his small but silly little smile, his dumb eyebags, his fucking VOICE, his lame as fuck sense of humor, his sprites, his dumbass sleepy noises, the fact that he's the shortest out of all the male characters, his everything?? I want to be his friend and listen to him yap about history, and I also want to make out with him sloppy style. I am sleepy all the time but he is sleepier, which means I can spoon him. I'd imagine his lifestyle of constantly being in his office doesnt really lend itself well to him receiving affection. he is probably very touch-starved... what if he encountered my persona. would he initially think the lack of sleep has finally caused him to hallucinate, considering I doubt you see slutty demons with big wings in real life. when he finally realizes that I am actually there, would he be fascinated at the sight of such a nonhuman creature being right in front of him? a new piece of history he has yet to discover? what if we become best friends. what if we become best boyfriends. my brain is moving at 200 miles an hour and I cannot stop it, I need him so fucking bad. if you have read this far, I'm not sorry and I'm not ashamed for my actions. except if you happen to be doctor pap (ulysses' va), in which case I politely ask you that you forget everything I have said today. thanks for reading

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[queenofallimagines]

Meguru Bachira with a black s/o

LISTEN!! I picked up the 2 volume of the manga on accident when I went to target and I’m in love w him the man of my dreams!! Not taking blue lock right now bc besides Isagi and kunigami i don’t remember any other characters name or anything about them😅 feel free to talk to me about him tho I have SO many thoughts👀

** can you tell this is just me rambling 💀

Megaru💕:

- this pic gives me butterflies holy shit

- WHEW this man has huge unhinged sunshine energy

- Like giggling and kicking my feet how he’s the happy go lucky character trope (I.e hinata) but they make sure you remember he’s not “soft”

- Like the way y’all be uwuing hinata that is a grown man😐 he was throwing fists the WHOLE SERIES but he don’t know about sex? Bffr

- Anyway he’s definitely a switch but kinda leaning more top? he definitely just wants to fuck he don’t care who’s on top

- He’s so cuddly it’s adorable

- Getting neon yellow nails to match his hair>>>

- Definitely would like to match fits w you when y’all step out

- WOULD GET YOU AN ANKLE BRACELET W HIS INITIALS ON IT SO HE CAN KISS YOUR ANKLE WHEN HE PUTS YOUR LEGS OVER HIS SHOULDERS!!

- Most fashionable couple FR

- Always has to be touching you in some way

- Holding your hand, arm around you, hand in your pockets

- Wants to make sure you’re there and won’t slip away from him

- Imagining him going to meet your family and he’s SWEATING like he knows he’s not everyone’s cup of tea and really doesn’t want to start anything

- “You are good at soccer so you have like + 100 points right now”(watching Latino people watch the football on the Olympics is so scary 😫)

- Imagine your family watching his games😭 embarrassing bc now I’m imagining a room full of dads and uncles glued to the tv and cheering him on like he can hear it💀💀

- “You so skinny you need to eat more!”

- He’s charming your aunties to steal plates from your house

- You get in the car and he has like 3 Tupperwares full of left overs

- Great with kids because they think he’s cool

- he’s breaking they ankles in soccer tho he’s not gunna play nice w kids

- If “play where it’s safe cuz it’s NOT over here” was a person

- Like he can go 0-100 in a millisecond so if someone tries him

- Very “who’s gon beat my ass about it??” Type beat

- People think y’all are so cute bc he’s so smiley and sweet to you

- DEFINITELY says filthy shit in your ear too

- Like he’s cuddly w everyone he likes so you’d be no different but he’s slipping his hands up your shirt

- Number one hype man when you get your hair done

- So extra

- “My baby so cute🥹🥹”

- Box braids are his favorite bc he can put charms and stuff in your hair

- also medium long locs bc imagining him walking up to you and pushing them out your face to see your eyes🥺

- Freak

- Probably sends you links to sex toys and is like

- “👀👀??”

-“I’m a visual learner btw”

- The MOST unserious character in this whole series so far

- His song is rodeo but just the flo Milli verse i WILL NOT ELABORATE!!

- Once he get to doing that thing where he lower his voice just call in sick bc you probably not walking

- Not that he doesn’t care about your pleasure it’s more he’s fucking until HE taps out so your brains can be soup but he’s not done so,,,,hold on?

- If you like me and a few inches shorter than him will be smug about it

- His personality is big enough to count as a size kink but being a little taller makes him get a big head

- Talks you through it the whole time

- Switching back and fourth between degrading and praise so fast it makes your head spin

- “Hm? Don’t tell me my little slut is tapping out? You were begging me so nicely earlier”

- only one who can say babygirl and it not be cringe 🤭

- “be a good boy and spread your legs for me, hm?”

- Really sloppy kisser during sex too

- Will tell you to stick your tongue out for him

- On the rougher side of kinky stuff

- Fucks you like it’s the last time he ever will every time

- Don’t care about getting caught bc either way he’s not stopping

- Probably how you’d end up sleeping w him and Isagi I fear

- Isagi is so sweet and megaru is MEAN

- Isagi trying to go slow and be gentle and Megaru over here pulling your hair calling you a pretty whore

- this man In grey sweatpants would end me

- APART OF THE SHORT KING BIG DICK CREW

- he’s tall by Japanese standards but juuuuust 3cm above average in American height

- he already walks out the shower naked w NO care in the world

- probably walks around the house like that too Ngl

- “I am returning to the natural state of my birth” I will glue your clothes to your body sir :/

- feel like he’s more girth than length like don’t get me wrong he def has a third leg but he’s gunna have to work you open

- “ Oh don’t worry, I’ll make sure it fits”

- Act right dick™️ so don’t push him too far in public

- Definitely a bad influence!! You’re trying to be normal in public and he gives you a look

- Next thing you know he’s on his knees for you in a bathroom or an empty hallway🙄

- In the locker room so many times the rest of his friends already know, and when you two disappear they not stepping foot in there

- Buys you lingerie because he’s your biggest hype man

- When you feel confident you’re the most sexy

- “Mmm you look so good in that cute outfit, you won’t be too mad if I tear it off right?”

- Spreads your legs wide and will make you look in the mirror and watch as he fingers you open

- The type of man who fucks you so good you would get his name tatted on your ass

- Your family actually is probably like “don’t you go corrupting that sweet boy”

- And behind closed doors he’s got his hand holding your hair in a tight fist as he makes himself comfy in your throat

- “Let me hold your hair up for you💕”

- L$D- asap Rocky is also his song

[whumpsday]

Uh, hello, hope this isn’t strange at all but I just wanted to say your writing is (not sure if you’re fine with cussing so sorry if you’re not :/) fucking amazing. I can’t express it in any other way that is actually coherent, but yeah. So, here’s an entire little ramble about my general feelings of amazement towards your writing that I haven’t left in comments otherwise because A) I have severe social anxiety and extreme shyness and overthinky tendencies so I am primarily a lurker and B) This is just how I express my kudos to people whose stuff I like (sorry if it’s horribly unstructured and generally unhinged; I am not the best at conveying feelings through words and I tend to just word vomit all my unfiltered thoughts.)

Sifting through my memory, you’re probably the first actual whump series I tentatively got into, like the first series I probably read, and it spurred my realization (self discovery?) from there. Starting off, the Kane and Jim thing is just done so fucking well, I can see all the scenes so vividly in my imagination (the picrews definitely help but also you describe and narrate and whatever the hell English teachers say it is so well. I mean the writing it’s so damn descriptive. That might just be a side effect of my really vivid imagination and also me being a very simple person, but still, I fucking love it), I can tell you put a lot of thought and work into writing the chapters (also with how long it takes for updates.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, take as much time as you need to make the chapters how you want them to be so they have their fullest potential). The way you write each of the characters, each of them has their distinctive personalities (to me that’s amazing since whenever I try to write, I can never get the words to be like that if it makes sense), the way you’ve built and developed each of the characters and how you portray them in your writing is fucking beautiful. Even the little drabbles are so well put together (hope that doesn’t sound weird, that’s a compliment. My brain is seeing the tone as rude somehow)

I don’t think I have enough words or brain ability to coherent my thoughts to conceptualize to you how amazing your writing is but I swear it’s amazing (really hope this doesn’t come across as buttering you up or anything like that. I genuinely am just trying to express my amazement), but long story short, I hope you continue to work on your series and I can’t wait for whenever you update it!

As for the somewhat unrelated part of the ask, yeah, again, you’re probably the person who spurred on and was the starting point (????) for my self discovery of whump. That is to say, I never realized that it was whump that I liked reading and also in general (finally understand why I have a fascination with torture and putting my brain blorbos and others through hell and then comfort and the like lol), and your series, granted, while it wasn’t the first, was the catalyst for me getting into it. I’m not sure if this would be exaggerating on my part, but if I didn’t discover you, I probably wouldn't have discovered all of the other blogs whom I love reading from or seeing content I like or heck even helping me create and develop some new concepts for characters or worldbuilding (I really like doing that as a hobby).

So thank you for the inspiration (is that even the word?) and discovery, but also screw you because now it’s taking up my brain energy for stuff like learning and trying to get into other hobbies (I’m joking, I don’t actually screw you to clarify. It’s sarcasm, I really want to make that clear, I’m not good at text tone).

I hope one day to be able to get the motivation and push aside my brain doubts to write stuff like you do (and also every other writer out there I lurk on who might be reading this. I hope that doesn’t come off as disingenuous by me saying that and not only saying you, I’m probably overthinking that severely…) and, if it’s not at all an issue, that I’d be able to perhaps ask some advice for writing in the future (if I ever work up the courage thanks to social anxiety.). I have so much more to say but my brain unfortunately does not have the capacity to translate chaotic brain thoughts into coherent words (and the damn thing keeps thinking of more things to add on and agh-) but long story short, I’m very glad you exist and thank you for writing the Kane and Jim story

I hope you’re having a wonderful day/night, are staying hydrated, taking care of yourself, and, if you’re still experiencing it, you get past whatever writer's block you have at the moment (and if you don’t, take it as a little brain break. Or don’t, I’m not your parent) :)

Also I deeply apologize if this comes off as strange or too much or stalkerish or whatever and I fully understand if it’s off putting. Adding this probably doesn’t help, but overthinking and social anxiety is a fucking bitch

aw anon this is so so sweet!! i'm honored my writing has had such an impact for you!! you are def overthinking yourself, there is nothing wrong with this message at all, i love it!! <3

and yes, you can feel free to send more asks if you like! you are braver than i am: for the past several months, i've had an email drafted to my old high school english teacher thanking her for everything she did for me (i'd never have gotten into writing without her), letting her know i'm also working in education now and have some published work, but i'm way too shy... i will try to take inspiration from you and send that email!!

and also finish the chapter i'm working on lol.

[cannedwyrms]

Spoilers for shadow of the erdtree, but...

I NEED to talk about Marika, okay?

In the base game, I thought she was interesting, don't get me wrong, but the amount of DEPTH SOTE gives her is INCREDIBLE.

The first time I got to the Shaman Village, I instantly knew she was going up on my Good Antagonist List™ immediately.

And, because of that, I wanted to have another ramble about her, as is becoming customary for this blog.

So, let's go over what exactly we learned about Marika and what this informs us about her character.

I think the Shaman Village really takes center stage here. The music, the item descriptions, it all combines to paint a gentler, more human image of Marika. In the base game, she was more like a god (which made sense seeing as she was one), but we see a more human side of her here.

So, the Shaman Village. It's the place where Marika grew up, her home. Unfortunately for her, shaman bodies are apparently quite good for putting into big jars, which was something the Hornsent loved to do. We've all seen it before, right? I mean, we've all seen a zealous religious society commit atrocities against an underclass in fiction, not the jar thing.

And the Hornsent are a zealous religious society. They used the bodies of shamen in jars to make saints. Which sounds like complete nonsense, I know, but that's just elden ring lore babey.

Anyway, it's my personal headcannon, if not outright fact, that the Hornsent's persecution of Marika's people is what led her down the path of becoming a god. Like Miquella, she wanted to make the world a gentler place. Unlike Miquella, though, she only wanted to make it gentler for her people.

In short, it's my belief that Marika became a god in large part to inact revenge on the hornsent.

Okay, pause. I know Elden Ring Lore is like, a big deal and all, and anything I say is basically unfounded on everything except intuition, my own personal interpretations, and because I believe my theories fit thematically within the wider narrative, but just stay with me on this, alright? I think there's a real undertone of misogyny in the fanbase, and sometimes that can color interpretations of certain characters even unintentionally. Marika has gotten this treatment worse than most, I think, because she is a prominent woman who does morally questionable things. Beyond the inherent misogyny, though, I've noticed that a lot of people interpret Marika's actions very uncharitably. Anyways, all that to say, this is my post, and I care more about everything working together thematically than digging deep into the depths of the lore to find out that "oh, actually Scrupulous the Untested mentioned this flower, which represents pure evil, and he was talking about Marika when he did," or whatever. A strawman? Perhaps, but you get my point. Still, I'll try to remain true to my understanding of the lore, but I'm bound to make mistakes. I'm not an expert. Sorry for the long aside, I just felt these were important points that wouldn't fit in elsewhere.

So, I believe Marika sought godhood partly to punish the Hornsent, although I won't pretend to understand her full motivations.

I believe this is what Ymir was referring to when he said "I fear that you have borne witness to the whole of it. The conceits - the hypocrisy - of the world built upon the Erdtree. The follies of man. Their bitter suffering. Is there no hope for redemption? The answer, sadly, is clear. There never was any hope. They were each of them defective. Unhinged, from the start. Marika herself. And the fingers that guided her. And this is what troubles me. No matter our efforts, if the roots are rotten, then we have little recourse."

My interpretation of this is that Marika's intentions for godhood were impure. She wasn't seeking to improve things, just punish the ones who wronged her people. Thus, her reign was doomed from the start.

Now, let's get into what really sold me on Marika as a character.

There are, to my knowledge, two items you can find in the Shaman Village.

The Minor Erdtree incantation, and the Golden Braid talisman. Let's take a look at the flavortext for these two items and see what we can glean, starting with the Minor Erdtree.

"Marika bathed the village of her home in gold, knowing full well that there was no one to heal."

So, by the time she returned to her village, everyone was already dead. How devastated must Marika have felt, to return from claiming godhood and revenge, only to find that there was no one left to avenge. She was alone.

Here's the text we get from the golden braid:

"A braid of golden hair, cut loose. Queen Marika's offering to the Grandmother. Boosts holy damage negation by the utmost. What was her prayer? Her wish, her confession? There is no one left to answer, and Marika never returned home again."

Man, reading that, with the shaman village music in the background, just thinking about a young Marika resolving herself to become a god, to save her village and people from the Hornsent, the anger she must have felt, the fear and solemn resignation of her goal, only to return again to find herself alone. What was her wish? What did she leave behind in her village? We'll never know, because Marika is alone. Her people are gone. In the end, she couldn't save them.

Is it really any wonder that she eventually began to doubt the very order she had founded?

But now let's talk about some other aspects of Marika's character that the dlc reveals.

Namely, her Omen sons.

Imagine how Marika must have felt, looking down at her newborns to see the very horns that had destroyed her people upon them. It's just so DAMN good, character wise. There must have been so many mixed feelings surrounding them. I wonder if she even felt any love for them at all when she saw those horns. Like, I don't know, obviously, but I imagine she felt conflicted. She didn't outright kill them, which is good, but she did leave them chained in a sewer for most of their lives, so yeah not great.

But that's what I love about her character. Elden ring, in a lot of ways, is about how victims can become victimizers. How, in pursuit of noble goals, or revenge, you can lose yourself and become just as bad or worse than the people you set out to punish. That's Marika's character. That's why she's part of the List™.

Because Marika started out as someone angry at the systems that oppressed her and sought to change them. She was the hero of the story, in the beginning. But, in pursuit of her goal, she lost herself and became a bit of a monster.

SOTE, to me, revealed that Elden Ring's story is one of complete moral grey. Everyone is working towards a cause that they believe in, including you. The ends justify the means for you, even if it means striking down a mostly innocent grieving woman, hunting your fellow tarnished, or turning on the ones who trusted you and called you a compatriot. Ranni, Miquella, Radahn, Fia, D, Godrick, Malenia, Leda, Ansbach, Thiollier, Gideon, this applies to everyone.

The same goes for Marika. In trying to punish the hornsent and build a better future for herself and her people, she lost her people and eventually succombed to her worst tendencies.

That's why St. Trina pleads with you to stop Miquella. Because to become a god is to sacrifice everything that makes you human.

Marika took that sacrife willingly, in order to punish the ones who hurt her, and in the end, that's what broke her.

I think she recognized this, and that's why she set the stage for you to become Lord. In the chance that someone might do better than her, make the world a gentler place, not for a god, not for ambition or power, not in revenge or anger, but im compassion. Whether or not that's how you choose to rule is, of course, up to you, but I like to imagine that Marika, after everything, found something to hope for again.

Okay, that's the end of my thoughts. Was any of that true to the lore? Who cares. It's how I like to interpret what we were given about Marika. If I'm wrong, then whatever. I'll still be right in my heart.

Alright, bye. Go play shadow of the erdtree, or watch someone else play it at the very least. Next time, I might talk about Miquella, or maybe Leda and her allies.

Someday I'll be brave enough to talk about Agent Black. Someday. But that would maybe turn into a full ten page essay about why Iconoclasts is so very good and I'm not sure the two people who care about what I say here are ready for that.

Okay bye.

A brief adendum to this post:

Because I was analyzing Marika from a literary perspective, focusing on the sympathetic angle SOTE added to her character, I realize I forgot something important, so let me say it now:

Marika's persecution does in no way justify her genocide of the hornsent.

That idea kind of got lost in the shuffle, but it's definitely an important aspect of her character. She's an antagonistic force in the world who has done some very awful things to further her goals, more so than any other antagonist in Elden Ring. Her tragic past only adds dimension to her character, not an excuse for the atrocities she comits.

Okay, bye again.

[minluce]

Hello, I really liked your analysis of Wolf Keum, especially the parallels between Wolf and Gray. Do you think if circumstances were different, say if they went to the same school or if they had met before, they could have become friends? Maybe similar or to the same extent as Gray and Stephen were close? Sorry for my bad english, its not my first language :p

Hi Anon, sorry for not responding to this sooner! I've been super busy with irl and stuff. But tysm for sending me an ask, I love to ramble about my interests. Here's my thoughts:

Okay so. Honestly? I think it could depend on how you headcanon middle school Wolf. Based on the tiny snippets we see of him in canon, we kind of get this mixed image where he's still unhinged enough to be getting into fights and allegedly tormenting Grape, but as many have pointed out, he's also weirdly not on anyone's radar up until High school. He's introduced as a "Dark Horse"— someone who rose up the ranks quickly and unexpectedly.

Another thing worth pointing out is his appearance: but specifically how it reads to other characters in-universe. Phillip Kim (iirc) refers to him as a "Four-eyed normie" in the chapter where he's having a flashback to first meeting Wolf, so basically with his short purple hair and glasses he absolutely looked like a huge dork and probably attracted opportunistic bullies all the time. Which contributes to the idea that middle school Wolf was more of a "loser" than a "king".

He also gets very sensitive about people stealing and messing with his belongings (see: the whole Union Thief debacle) and if you go back to reread his whole monologue while he's beating up Rowan and Eugene, it sounds like something he's used to experiencing in the past. Getting his stuff stolen or messed with, and then the culprit lying about it and pretending to be innocent.

This made me think about Eugene's own experience with bullies: getting his math textbook stolen, his glasses smeared, etc. by that Eunjang student who wanted to buddy up with Gray. When Eugene tried to confront the guy about it, he just shrugged it off, or even just straight-up pretended he didn't do anything at all. You could clearly see how being on the receiving end of this kind of harassment could quickly become something of a pet peeve; combined with Wolf's unexpected rise to power, it ended up translating to spinning a misunderstanding completely out of proportion.

So this is all to say that I think "loser"-era Wolf could absolutely be friends with Gray, albeit I still get the impression that Wolf would have been the type to get angry and be prideful even before he had the strength to do anything about it. And I think both Wolf and Gray aren't the type to be outwardly social, so their friendship would probably start off with some kind of altercation, before smoothing out once they find somewhere to meet in the middle.

However, I think their relationship would be of a different nature than what Stephan was to Gray, because Wolf and Stephan are fundamentally different types of people. Stephan volunteers at the local soup kitchen after school, Wolf is chain smoking cigarettes under the bleachers. And I think Stephan's optimism and compassion was something that really resonated with Gray— who might have been the type to just stay in his little studying bubble if it weren't for Stephan inspiring him to stand up before injustices.

In contrast to that, I think Wolf would have brought out Gray's "mamba" side much earlier, had they met in middle school. They would have become "beating up bullies in the parking lot" kind of buddies. This may even result in a completely different High School era Gray— still studying-obsessed, but far less concerned with the ethics of beating other people up. But, I think as much as Wolf might draw out Gray's dormant "mamba", I think exposure to Gray might encourage Wolf to use his head more often— there's no way Gray could successfully turn Wolf Fucking Keum into a good student, but I do think there would be gentle nagging to "do your homework, Wolf, or I won't help you next time you start a fight with Sam Lee in public".

In conclusion: Wolf would make Gray slightly worse, and Gray would make Wolf slightly better, and they'd meet in the middle somewhere and become the most terrifying friendship in Yeongdeungpo.

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 11

Hi friends!!

I've really outdone myself this week, folks. I read TWENTY SEVEN new fics (including three very long series) + a bunch of updates to WIPs I was already reading. That being said, I'm gonna sort these by character for you because it's a lot to scroll through.

If you're new here, these are all the fics I read this week (except series updates and unnamed drabbles) and my unhinged/unedited ramblings about them :)

You can find the full spreadsheet here, and you're always welcome to tag me in your fics <3

Fic recs below the Pedro <3

Din Djarin

Wherever You Stray, I Follow a one shot by @beskarandblasters

This is one of those fics that makes me genuinely pissed I'm not living in the Star Wars universe. Why can't I run away from an arranged marriage with my bodyguard who just so happens to be a very very handsome man in a suit of pure beskar? It's not fair.

Beskar Doll a series by @justagalwhowrites

Okay so I read 40+ chapters of this in TWO days. The story is so engaging?! Also we all know I love me some angst and the angst in this is so well done. It's believable, it's painful, it's excellent. I'm always hype for reader characters/FMC/OFC that are strong and capable (not that I have an issue with the damsel in distress fics either but...) I am obsessed with the reader/MC in this. She's so fucking cool and strong and AGH!!! There was no part of this where I was bored or wondered why the story went in a certain direction - it always made sense to me and I was completely engaged the whole time. That's pretty impressive for a long ass fic like this. I usually fall off after 20 or so chapters. Everyone should read this, tbh.

Significant a one shot by @softlyspector

AHHHH okay first of all, you gotta read the drabble first so you get a feel for the relationship. This was SO CUTE. I support every choice made in this fic. I don't want to spoil anything, but just know that I love the characterization and dialogue in this. I love how quickly I got sucked into the story and believed their relationship despite it only being 5k. I could kind of imagine a full series around this. It was sooooo cute UGH. (Look at me reading fluff, what's goin on).

Fix it a one shot by @jksprincess10

I love how you've barely written Din before (1 fic) and then you produce this. It's so fucking good. We get helmetless!Din without a fuckton of buildup and like I get that it's not the most realistic, but sometimes you just want Din Djarin to eat you out without 20 chapters of wondering what his face looks like or having to be in the dark. And the tattoos... nad... you gave him tattoos.... I'll pass out and die on the floor right now.

a little attention a one shot by @luckbealincoln

Din has a rough day (haha get it?) and reader knows just how to get rid of his pissy ass attitude. I love love love dom!Din so fucking much this is so hot PLEASE

Best Kept Secret a series by @lincolndjarin

Bodyguard!Din and princess!reader!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this trope so much. I expected the fic to be a little kitschy because I mean... it's a kitschy trope. And I love kitschy shit that's why I clicked on it... but guys! guys!! it's not!! This fic has so much depth, so much emotion. The little glimpses of Din's backstory, the depictions of mental health, that bastard Kodo, my beloved Elaine and Lysa... just... there's so much in this story that I adore. It feels fresh and interesting and it's heart wrenching and wonderful and sexy and....yeah read this one thanks.

Who do you belong to? a one shot by @beskarandblasters

HOT!!!!!!! Possessive!Din is so fucking hot. The smut is.... oh my lordt it is good.

Joel Miller

i can be your pretty girl a series by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

A little innocent reader/manipulative dbf!joel never hurt anyone, right? I fucking love this. And the subsequent part is... even better (worse? more depraved?).

Epiphany a one shot by @jksprincess10

This story hurts. It hits you right in the chest and takes the breath out of you. Worth the pain though. It's gorgeously done <3

I'll Do Anything a one shot by @beskarandblasters

I feel like I've seen some fics that are this trope but in reverse, where Joel is the one making reader pay with sex. I think I like this better tbh. Desperate, needy Joel is everything.

Seven a one shot by @proxima-writes

Starting with the dream was so fucking good! And I really like the choice to not make it a 1 to 1 direct recreation of the actual scene with Sarah. I loved the early interactions with Joel and reader so much. The library scene AHHH!!!! And then fast forwarding through the reallly good smut, the dream that's not a nightmare???? Are you kidding me??? genius. Reader still believing in beautiful things and making joel believe he deserves good things and oh my god just shoot me now this was adorable.

sensational a series by @sinsofsummers

I guess I was on an innocent reader kick this week idk. I love the buildup of the reader's background in this though. She feels like a real person and not just a vessel for actual reader to pretend we're virgins and Joel Miller is teaching us about sex. Like she is that, don't get me wrong, and I love it. But!! She's a real person, with feelings and a backstory and I am a slut for a good story with my smut. Okay and also Joel doesn't feel like a creep in this, which is a little hard to achieve given the premise. I really liked this and I hope we get more. (there's a part two, but like I'd read 10 parts of this are you kidding)

Desire a series by @toxic-seduction

Good ol' depraved smut. I haven't read one like this before!! And the follow up is just as yummy. Highly recommend if you're feeling a little freaky :)

Gimme What I Want a series by @atticrissfinch

Oh my god oh my GOD oh my god. This was so fucking hot?! And the little moments of humor too?! I love the format for this so much. And the attention to detail with the timestamps and everything!! And then part two... I was not prepared. God it was so hot. (and the lil bonus of Joel being awkward and adorable ughhhh). The blend of sexy and funny and a tad bit depraved and a tiny bit sweet... perfect.

Lavender a series by @justagalwhowrites

Hey, it's not nice to break people's hearts repeatedly. There are barely even words to describe this fic. The nanny trope to start out with, meaning that you get really really attached to Sarah and pre-outbreak Joel and you build up all these hopes and dreams for the two of them.... and then... (trying not to spoil things) Joel being a moron and then the outbreak of course and... I always want to know what happens in that 20 years between outbreak and Joel meeting Ellie. I really adore the way that canon content was blended with original content in a way that seems to make Joel's actions make even more sense than they do in canon. Doc is such a cool character also??? And oh my GOD Andrew and Jess... I seriously cannot explain how fucking perfect this is. I could read it forever. Like I hope you carry it on through season two when that comes out, it's that good. I would read 500 chapters of this.

Mine a one shot by @the-scandalorian

How does one write Porn Without Plot, anal at that, and make it profound? Apparently this way. How dare you make me feel anything but a little ashamed and lot horny about an ANAL FIC?! Are you a fucking WIZARD?! Anyway yeah y'all should read this one.

Stay here, honey a one shot by @swiftispunk

This is just porn but I was having that kind of day. dbf!joel + really high chance of getting caught PWP. Wonderful <3

What I need a one shot by @swiftispunk

knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink. Oh and also a lil bit of sweetness at the end. Yes please

Your Summer Dream a series by @swiftispunk

Look I've only read chapter one and I'm already in love. The set up is so good. Joel seems so sweet and charming and cool and HOT?!? Reader is about to win the rebound Jackpot for real. I'd be jealous if I wasn't,,,, ya know,,, the reader.

exile a one shot by @tieronecrush

Oh hey cool, thanks for hurting my feelings... just kidding you know I love angst. This was so gorgeously written. I love all the descriptions a lot. And also... I read a lot of joel/reader breakups where she just immediately crumbles and takes him back because like wouldn't we all? But I really like how you had her hesitate even though she's clearly miserable. At least one of us is emotionally mature enough to not dive headfirst back into a toxic relationship (couldn't be me).

Javier Peña

a pile of cards a one shot by @undercoverpena

There are very few things I love more than fluffy, soft!Javi Peña. That man has the capacity to be so sweet and caring and kind and loving and AHHHHHH. I really love the way this story is told. A story in birthdays for your birthday celebration... that's so fucking creative I love it. I just... I can't say enough about this fic. Read it!!

not here, not now a one shot by @gracieispunk

Reader gets in trouble with Javi and handcuffs are involved... I feel like I do not need to say more.

(Re)union with Elvis a one shot by @tieronecrush

I've read a lot of these lil accidental marriage fics, and this is one of my favorites so far. I loved getting to see them meet up sober, go through the whole night, experience the silly wedding, the mind blowing sex, and then the wakeup scene is actually so cute? I rarely see one of these without a defcon level freak out about the fact they got married. Imagine telling this story at your wedding? Like oh yeah we've actually already divorced each other and it was before we ever started dating.

Pero Tovar

Xìngjiāo a one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally watched The Great Wall and my literal first move after finishing it was to see if absurdthirst wrote a sex pollen fic for Tovar and she FUCKING DID!!!!! Gods I love sex pollen.

Pero Tovar and his Guerrera a series by @prolix-yuy

This lil loose fit series makes my heart sing. Pero being an idiot? Reader being a badass? Silly arrangement to be able to stay near each other without having to admit feelings? Finally admitting feelings??? Wrap me up in this story and bury me in it, thanks.

Dave York

Stormy Secrets a one shot by @absurdthirst

Kinda randomly got in the mood to read something fucked up and stumbled on this lovely Dave York fic. Murder daddy didn't let me down, this was EXCELLENT. Pretty much checked every box on the list of what I would kill to have Dave York do to me.

Just Your Average Suburban Couple a one shot by @absurdthirst

What if Murder Daddy had a Murder Wife? I know it's a hot take, but I love the fake dating trope so this is so fun for me. Add in badass reader, infidelity, murder, Dave York being soft (in his own way), domestic Dave, and possessive/jealous!Dave? Oh and of course delicious smut. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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Do y'all prefer it sorted like this or was it fine the old way? This takes a little extra work, but it's not that bad.

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Happy Reading!

[its-short-for-jackalope]

THE SEARCHER IN THE SHADOWS

☆ Thoughts On Part 2 ☆

Time for the unhinged companion to my part 1 post, lol. I love how much these musicals surprise me, I always have such a fun time and oh boy do I have thoughts and feelings about part 2.

Once again I am not going to be able to capture every thought I have about everything because there is... so much. But I can try to express a portion of it, so on with the rambling!

Meanwhile / Sia's Vision

I love part 1 & the new characters we met, but I was definitely missing the rest of the quartet so I was so excited to get to hear them again today. That being said, I was totally unprepared for how I would react to their arrival (heh). I was damn near kicking my feet and I was close to either giggling or crying basically the entire time, but I guess they balanced each other out so I basically just vibrated in my chair instead, lmao.

I'm so happy that Margaret has been to Lincoln Island before? I was a little worried that she didn't even have a chance to see that any of her people had survived before she was sent away and she lost her memories. (However the hell that happened.)

I love how John and Samuel are both like "I can accept this mysterious magical woman saving our lives once, but TWICE? That is a little suspicious. 🤨😑"

SIA'S VISION. It happened years ago, and now we know we're not alone that Sia went straight from 1835 to 1874 just like the quartet, so she must have gotten the vision sometime between 1829 and 1835, proooobably a lot closer to 1829, since she said 'years.' She sees the Antikythera being claimed by the Ellen Austin, and evidence of Margaret's transformation magic as well as her radiance. She also saw John (the scientist) screaming for Rose as she drowns while the Antikythera takes on water, perhaps sinking entirely.

SIA'S PLAN. (MAYBE.) Okay so I very well could be wrong, lol, I'll get that out of the way right now, but I think Margaret had already been sent away when Sia had her vision. Part of this reasoning is simply because it would feel more satisfying to me if the quartet didn't come together entirely because it was forseen, and also because Sia says 'our Margaret returned.' Idk, just the delivery of that makes me feel like she must already be gone at that point. Sia wouldn't have left Margaret somewhere unsafe, so she probably looked around New York to scout it out, and/or maybe she was watching from time to time, to make sure she was okay. So maybe she saw the Stratfords at some point—Samuel says he read about Margaret in The Sun, so maybe she was interviewed in the building and they occupied the same corner of the city at just the right time for Margaret's guardian traveler to see the twins?—and then when Sia has that vision, she recognizes them and that's when she knows they have to keep these people safe. (And maybe she uses a bit of magic to send a certain scientist a certain paper about certain discoveries to ensure he joins the party...?) So in the years before the quartet gathers together, Sia makes plans with her friends. I don't know exactly what these plans are and won't really try to guess, but clearly part of it involved scheming with Addison to make me SO WORRIED about her and the crew leave her ship (and an orrery for Rose) drifting on the Sargasso at the right time and place, AND they must have had enough foresight to be prepared for Sia's 39 years away; we didn't hear her poof back to let her friends know when she was going, and they knew when to expect her return, so it must have been pre-arranged to some extent. So Sia skips ahead, dropping off the quartet in 1874 and returning to Lincoln Island where Rose has already been learning and testing for 9 days, until it's time to meet Margaret again on the Antikythera. And now we're caught up. (Was this whole ramble necessary? Eh, maybe not, but I needed to think about it and it took long enough to type that I'm not deleting all that, are you kidding?)

Arrival, part 2

aw, yay! I'm glad Margaret and the boys all got a similar welcome to Rose! I wasn't sure if there would be any fanfare for Samuel and John, lol.

The twins are reunited! 😭❤ (And Margaret and John get to say hi to Rose too, yes, yes, I was very happy, but this isn't about them right now. TWINS.)

Dakkar and his scanner, lmao. (Going to try and fail to not think about him taking out his trusty tech as a distraction when he witnesses the siblings' reunion. I'm totally fine and normal about this, guys. Trust me.)

Yes, filling everybody in about Kal! I suppose he was the specific threat they were worried about when they were trying to verify Rose's identity in part 1, which would probably make sense if he's Itzal's attack virologist or something. But I have concerns about how the scan went. Addison tells us Kal has a way of tracking people he encounters and the scanner they use to check has a database that doesn't recognize anything on Samuel and the others, but, uh. AFAIK that scanner has been here on Lincoln Island for 45 years, nice and protected. How many updates have they gotten? And what was that Kal said back in TGOA? "Non-lethal fog, my latest brew." ...YEAH. I HAVE CONCERNS.

Not Rose's somber "We must keep looking for the key" after the chorus 😭😭😭 We know Sia's been reassuring her and Ahlaam has been insistent that there's no pressure on her, but uh. There is pressure. And Rose probably feels some degree of guilt for not accomplishing everything these literally magical people hoped she would after they saved her life.

Margaret almost recognizing the people around her, Dakkar echoing/answering the calls we've heard from Margaret since the beginning of the story..... AUGHHHHH 😭

I am very interested in Samuel and Addison's dynamic (to put it lightly) and I want to know what the captain is so curious about bears for.

Magic Ways

I love this song so much. We get to receive lore in an easily digestible way AND the music is amazing???? Move over, Schoolhouse Rock, I only want to learn things from the Travelers and Searchers from now on. (This joke isn't even good but I've wanted to make one about Schoolhouse Rock since the premiere so this is what we get. sorry, lmao.)

SEVEN, SEVEN MAGIC WAYS! Radiance, Perception, Protection, Illusion, Healing, Movement, and Transformation. If I'm understanding correctly, everyone from the Blazing World has the Radiance. (And I assume every descendant born on Lincoln Island does, too? although if they didn't have any magic because they lost their connection to their world that could be interesting... 👀) It seems to be the root/core of it all, if it's the one everyone shares. All the magic connects them, but I think the Radiance is the deepest and strongest connection. I am not going to rattle off about all of the magic ways here because, well, reading my ramblings (delightful as they are) doesn't hold a candle to listening to the actual song, lmao, but I am going to share my ideas for what kinds of magic the different BW characters might have.

SIA — radiance, movement, perception, transformation, possibly more; if she was helping Margaret train her protection magic, then I think it could be reasonable to suspect Sia may also possess it? But that's a maybe for now—Sia could simply know both Margaret & how protection magic functions well enough to be able to coach her.

AHLAAM — radiance, movement, illusion (I believe she was going to cast an illusion spell on Rose during Two Weeks as one of the tests, and she also tells us about illusion magic in the song), possibly more; Ahlaam doesn't specifically say that she only had three magic ways, unlike...

DAKKAR — radiance, healing, protection. He says that "three is more than enough for me" so I think we can safely assume that's it for him, unless he has more magic that he just doesn't use for whatever reason, which could be an interesting idea. No evidence for it tho, I'm just saying words. <3

ADDISON — from what we know so far, she might have only one magic way, the radiance, but I keep thinking about her journal. Margaret had to use transformation magic on it to be able to read it, so does that mean Addison also has that power, or did somebody else (Sia?) transform the journal specifically so Margaret would have to transform it back and use her magic? Or, as some friends have joked, is Addison nerdy enough that she just writes in invisible ink?

MARGARET — in TGMH, we saw her use the radiance for the first time. in TBS, movement. TGOA, transformation. in this episode, she has started using protection magic. Matt has told us that there will be 7 pulps and there are 7 magic ways, so I'm wondering if we'll see her unlock or regain all the magic ways, with one new power returning in each episode. We still have one more part to go for this episode, so we'll see if this theory is disproven real quick or not, lol.

Thank Gravity

hi, what if I exploded?

the only m/f pairings I care about are written by Matt Dahan and this is only a slight exaggeration

JOHN WANTED TO TALK!! HE'S THE ONE WHO INITIATED A FEELINGS CONVERSATION!!! HE FINALLY GOT SOME SENSE!!! I'M SO FUCKIN PROUD???? 🎉

THEY! KISSED!

what if I just, like, perished. would y'all be cool with that.

I am so not normal about how we've gone from them both yearning for 'a place with no laws of gravity' to them both thanking gravity—

have we considered the option of me just walking into the ocean? I think that might be the best course of action here.

oh my god. I love them.

Masterpiece Containing Masterpieces

Jackie's absolutely gorgeous art shows a bit of bright blue sky visible from the bridge of the Nautilus, so I'm guessing everyone got some much needed rest and continued the tours the next day, lol.

godddddd the callback to Margaret's Apartment. Maps of the Earth and sky lavishly hanging from golden frames—I need to bite something. (/pos)

John, if you're asking questions you should at least give people time to finish answering them, lmao

Someone is going to push one of those damn purple buttons and everyone is going to have a bad day, calling it now. If it doesn't happen this episode, it will happen in one of the later ones. And I am going to be glaring at them all mistrustfully until it finally happens. 😑👉🚫🟣‼️

Samuel and his imagination going crazy over the orrery's potential... and the way Addison talked about the Firestone getting burnt out, I wonder if that means it isn't repairable. Maybe Firestones are extremely rare, idk. curious how this orrery is still able to help them with the Gate somehow. WOULD LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THESE GATES, BY THE WAY. JUST SAYING. /lh

EDIT: oops, the orrery on the Nautilus is not the same as the Antiythera's, I don't think. but it still seems like this one can't go back in time, going by the conversation!

Before the Island

yessssssss new solo John song for me to lose my mind about. also a casual reminder that Curt Mega is so gender it's unfair. <3

John, I love this for you. so much. go crazy, run wild, be silly and push buttons—NOT THE PURPLE ONES, FFS 🙏—and be happy with Rose.

John thinking his dad would understand what he's feeling instead of feeling smothered by his father's legacy and afraid of disappointing him......... 🥺😭❤

Ipomoea, part 1

the cover art!!!!!

This song is so goddamn pretty. Natalie and Kim's voices are heavenly together.

the imagery Margaret describes is so gorgeous, I want to draw it.

Margaret is closer than she's ever been to getting her answers!!!

JUST LIKE HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭

and here we learn another time travel rule, which simultaneously makes me go "oh cool, that will probably make the timeline a little less messy" and "oh poor Sia, you lost 39 years with your besties" and "HEY SIA SO YOU BASICALLY LIED ABOUT BEING ABLE TO HELP ANNA GET OFF THE SATELLITE, HUH? CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF??" (This isn't really even about Travelovers, this is about Anna being LEFT UP THERE and someone needs to give Sia a talking to for this, on mine and Anna's behalf. 😭 John, you've smooched your girl, now go be mad for your bestie, plz.)

hi Dakkar, ilu, please never die

Ipomoea, part 2

JESSE BHAMRAH I ADORE YOUR VOICE

I was a tiny bit worried about where this was going. I expected him to start using magic against Margaret to force her to defend herself, so the way he's like 'yo we should totally have Sia try to attack/kill us both' instead so they could combine their protection power was a really cool and delightful twist

I also love how Sia absolutely knows where this is going

IPOMOEA, SHOW ME YOUR WORTH! STAND WITH ME NOW, OR GET PLUCKED FROM THE EARTH!!!!!!!

Dakkar and Margaret are both so committed to this, & the way they sing together!!!!!!!

THIS SONG, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T. 😭❤

THEY'RE SIBLINGS! I don't currently have the brainpower (or time, tbh) to truly & accurately express how I feel about the reveal. Feel free to read my very smart friend's cool post about Dakkar and Margaret instead, it's very good.

I know I had a little "et cetera" sort of section at the end of my last post with some other thoughts, but honestly I am tapped right now, lol. Matt Dahan packs so much cool stuff in these episodes that there is undoubtedly a bunch of really cool theories and connections I haven't even touched upon in this post, but that's okay, it's long enough as it is. 😂

basically,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I love pulp so much and I am VERY AFRAID and VERY EXCITED for part 3.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to rewatch part 2 until Mr. Dahan himself pries the video out of my greedy little hands.

[randomalistic]

Ok oh my god. OH MY GOD. I just saw treasure planet for the first time and It was fucking amazing. Like yeah Duh I KNOWWW i know it’s like. “underrated Disney movie bla bla it was a commercial failure” . You know the deal.

But if there is 1 thing I want to say:

I cannot emphasize enough how meaningful and touching it is to the audience when you allow your male main characters to cry, and hug, and be emotionally vulnerable without shame. That brought this film to a whole new level 🥺

its a beautiful movie that took so many creative risks and that’s so admirable. It’s so clear they had a vision and they crafted that vision with endless amounts of love :’] I DID CRY.

More rambling below

I was CONSISTENTLY delighted by how creative the characters were and incredibly entertained throughout. So fucking fun and engaging and it feels like a 2 hour movie so much happens. How is it only 1.5 hours.

I CRIED !!!!!!!!!! John Silver and Jim’s relationship was so COMPLEX like actually amazing. The father figure dynamic is so sweet and heartwarming and so heartbreaking simultaneously like I was not expecting that AMV montage in the middle like that shit cut me so deep it was outstanding. A montage about Jim’s troubled childhood with a neglectful absent father and then DIRECTLY PARALLELING THAT WITH HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SILVER. LIKE HES FINALLY OVERCOMING THOSE FEELINGS AND LIVING HIS LIFE. GODDAMN!!! THATS SO POWERFUL!! THATS SO INCREDIBLE!!! THATS JUST IN THE MOVIE!!!!??!

Also the character/creature designs are RELENTLESS in how good they are. And they have so much fun with it. It’s so silly.

They had an old snapping turtle pirate???? hello?? He was introduced and then he died ❤️

The animation is also MIND BLOWINF like OH MY GOD!??? the seamless integration of 2D and 3D interacting is so impressive especially for 2001 like this was a technological feat for sure . Only rarely does the CG look dated (those whales at the start <\3 poor guys) BUT JOHN SILVER’S CYBORG ARM WAS FUCKING AMAZING LIKE I COUKD STARE AT THAT THING FOR HOURS .

Can’t find a gif of it but during his introduction there was a ROTATING SHOT of him cooking (❤️) while using his arm and his arm has so many tools inside it like a cyborg Swiss Army knife it’s the coolest fucking thing ever. Just Amazing

Also the fact they introduced an entirely new character 53 minutes in when the main cast has already been established was such a risk, but it so paid off. I love B.E.N. The fact he’s fully 3D animated and he’s THAT expressive. WHILE BEING A ROBOT? adorable. He’s Adorable. He’s so mentally ill and strange.

What is wrong with him. He is. dare I say. spamtonlike. pathetic and unhinged. Houses forbidden knowledge. What a Pitiful creature 🧡his glowing CRT eyes are really cute. There was a moment when the lights went out it was only his eyes and I Liked That

I love weird little robot guys in early-late 2000s movies. I need to watch Bluesky robots. I need my fix.

Morph could’ve been a really obnoxious comedic relief animal sidekick but they somehow managed to make him really cute and likable. (Also They only used him for plot points A LITTLE. Turning into anything couldve been overpowered as fuck. But alas… he is a mindless animal...) We love Morph. His relationship with silver is so fucking cute.

Kind of a Delbert centrist honestly. I liked him but also kinda dislike him. Bro kinda gives self centered misogynist scientist vibes. But he’s also silly and self conscious though guyssss.!! I thought I would like him more than I did. BUT He’s animated SO wonderfully though I love the shape of his hands and his weird goat face. Solid 7/10 weird guy. Idk why he came with Jim on the ship though❤️

Captain Amelia was fucking awesome for the first half of the movie. One of the best characters. Yeah. ……………. They fumbled her so hard. MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT ME AND MY FRIEND WERE NOT A FAN OF HER AND DELBERT AT ALL. Disney was like. We have a competent woman character ! Competent woman has to get injured and then the incompetent man has to take care of her and then they HAVE to fall in love. It’s actually so tragic like they did NOT deserve her.

IN FACT HERE’S MY SCORCHING HOT TAKE: Delbert should’ve been the one to get injured and Amelia nurses him back to health. Delbert might apologize profusely because of his self confidence issues and cuz he internalizes things that go wrong as his fault. Amelia reassures him, realizing that she was too harsh on him earlier. Delbert becomes less intimidated by her because she opens up to him and they grow to trust one another. Amelia stays with him while Jim goes to hide. And whapow !!!! Same relationship is built up without disempowering a female character. It doesn’t even have to be romantic they can just be friends……. 🫶 cuz it comes off as weird because since the start Delbert was like “wtf the captain is a GIRL?? Wait ooh la laaa she’s pretty” and she had 0 interest in him. so like the ONLY way they could pair them together was to get her injured and have him care for her . And she falls in love with him out of nowhere. No. Being cared for does not mean you’ll fall in love with your caretaker. She’s so ace coded to me and my friend. Until SUDDENLY. Am I crazy

Ok so like yeah the forced heterosexual love interest moment. I did not want to see their FOUR (4) hybrid babies at the end. I’m losing my mind. also did Jim become a cop? I swear to fucking god LOL

The movie was SO good that disney didn’t know how to wrap it up without ruining it ❤️ WHICH IS VERY INTERESTING I think they had to compensate for all the risks they took with a safe and weird ending where the police like him now and the police are ok guys. Disney approved

Anyways watch/rewatch the movie right now. Skip the final minute <3

One of my new favorite movies goddamn!

Edit: I would’ve forgiven them if Delbert got pregnant instead

[driftingmoonmenace]

Ok I'm gonna kinda unhinged ramble about my D&D robot oc Riot and lore dump about him a little bit, don't mind me !!! 👀💦

LISTEN ok listen I love my bbg Riot so gd much and I'm having like so much fun exploring his character in my friend group's campaign!! He's my little pathetic wet meow meow okkkk😭

Poor guy has been through SO MUCH shit for the past 59 years of his life and he's TIRED of it. SO TIRED.

He was one of five made-to-order robots programmed to be clowns for a scummy ringleader's circus (that the guy totally fucked up the first time financially and ran it into the ground before moving to a new planet and rebranding). AND EVER SINCE THEN all R-10T has known is how much his existence doesn't matter and the constant demands from his boss owner and society!! He hates it!!

He started off so sweet and compassionate, and he still is deep, deep down (partially cause he was programmed to be since he used to work with and entertain kids but his AI grew to feel genuine about it!!) Despite the constant abuse he loved entertaining those kids and making them smile with his silly jokes and tricks and balloon animals!!! Not to mention his little troupe, he loved them so much, they were like family to him!!

AND AFTER 40 YEARS, the ringleader just got into so much debit that he sold them all off to an auction house to see how much money he could get out of it like an asshole!! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF the guy who bought them is the adopted son of a known mafia syndicate cause he thought 'hey they have some useful dexterous attributes and stuff so I'm just gonna take 'em and unconsentually fuck up their programming by slapping a killcode in 'em and modify them to serve their use better to make them all into hitmen' (which his father did not like so they all had to prove themselves or be scrapped) Which in the process, one of Riot's troupe members died because of him because he chose to stand up for himself and tell them 'No'.

So Riot has been doing this assassination stuff for almost 20 years and again he hates it !!! He hates his life so gd much!! And being a little forced given an opportunity to escape for a while and meet this weird little group of people who have genuinely grown to care about him despite him being so standoffish and abrasive and stick up for him when they're at places that look down on robots. It's kinda made him go 'hey, I kinda like this...' and it reminds him of his troupe a lot.

But Riot KNOWS that because he just up and disappeared suddenly that he'll be found eventually and his new 'boss' is gonna scrap him for it. He knows he's gonna die soon and he's just yolo-ing everything at this point cause at least if he possibly dies, he'll die 'free' and on his own terms. Self preservation thrown completely out the window and struggling on whether he should keep warming up to this group or continue to keep them at arms length.

Not to mention the killcode rearing its ugly little head at times and making him more aggressive and bloodthirsty that this little group isn't safe from either. And dodging every time this group offers to mod him to help him out, cause this poor guy is scared and traumatized of losing more of himself and what's been done to him in the past.

Anyways yeah I love my funky little New-Yorker assassin clown a lot. I'll end this with some funny little facts about him!!

He wears a helmet all the time so the group has never seen his face, or realizes he has a face (yet)

He keeps balloons and a small hand pump in his crossbody bag to make balloon animals sometimes. (One of the group's members, Nexus, asked him for a lobster balloon animal while a Boss was monologue-ing. Riot didn't hesitate to make it.)

He has a deck of cards in his bag also that he uses to play games with people he's threatening. If they win they get to live, but if they lose, well Riot gets to kill you. :)

He reverse robbed someone that was trying to rob him.

He got a sick ass sniper rifle that he can now use without setting up a tripod first (that the DM jokingly hates allowing him to loot off a dead body so early in the campaign)

[alpinelogy]

📚

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

Okay I have been recently reading the red stain of torment by my beloved @/weegreenbean and that fic is not really relevant to this beyond the fact that it too is about a championship charge in a Ferrari... sort of. The connection is loose and only makes sense to me but I've been thinking about this fic instead.

Anyway let me introduce you to end (a symphony). I briefly mentioned this a couple of days back but this ostensibly is about the 2027 championship but actually this is a Charles character study at heart. The good, the bad, and the others, told from Pierre's perspective. And yes, this is in fact my Piarles magnum opus (dont tell that to flamewall (fire) tho, it might get sad because that one is making me use all my braincells)

Anyway detailed and spoilery rambling under the cut. And also why do I wanna write it and why do I daydream about it regularly:

First of all I fully blame Sam for making me think of this concept all the way back in June, when somehow the topic of Charles and the media games he plays got brought up on their blog. We've stumbled on this topic a couple times since and every single time I've walked away from our conversation only wanting to write this more and more.

In my personal opinion, Charles plays the media game extremely well, he knows his good angles, both literally and metaphorically, he knows how he looks and therefore presents himself in his best light, he knows that he is the grids designated pretty boy who cannot do wrong and he will use that to his advantage when he really is just as evil as the rest of them. You sort of have to be to make it to F1, you can only be so nice, at some point you have to fight. And that's okay. That's why we watch sports at the end of the day. The love is not enough but what if this time it is or something.

With this in mind, picture this: it is the winter break after the 2026 season, Lewis just won his 8th with Ferrari in one of Ferrari's most dominant seasons ever and retired, Ollie gets promoted. It is sort of a universally acknowledged truth that maybe, towards the tail end of the season, Charles has been a little but more sedate. Next year will be his year, everyone knows, he can step back a little. Next years glory will be all his, tenfold whatever glory Lewis got despite Lewis being a living legend and breaking the championship record.

Ollie is first on the chopping block once the season begins, and then comes the rest of the grid, Charles will (metaphorically) kill them all if thats what he needs to get that championship. Its his tenth year in F1, its been 25 years since the 2002 season, he can and he will destroy everyone to appease the racing gods, wins the bloody championship in the most dominant way he can. Ferrari is a sleeping monster and he just woke it up. And he knows what he is doing, at least seemingly.

Enter Pierre. He (and Jack but hes not relevant... sorta. I implore yall to look who Jack's father was very close with. Dare I say if yaoi rpf existed 25 years ago in the scope it exists now, people would write yaoi of them) has been sort of vibing around in Alpine for the past few seasons, solid midfield but he is having fun and thats what counts. He is thinking he will have a chill 2027 until you know. His best friend decided to go fucking feral. After that he is trying to figure if he is supposed to be shovelling popcorn into his mouth or if he should be concerned.

Its the second btw for the most part. Charles has gone full on unhinged and yeah maybe he needs a friend he unconditionally trusts on his side. He trusts his team but they are still the team, they are not a friend you know what I mean? And if Pierre stops being a friend and becomes some sort of a lover along the way then well... shit happens.

The plot is vague at best, but at some point it does have to get ugly, obviously. The universe asks how much for a championship in the most dominant way ever, and Charles does not even blink and says everything even if it does not have to cost that much. Pierre steps in and says wait a minute but obviously, he can only do so much. It will have to be Charles who realizes that no, it is not worth everything, and it has to be Charles that ultimately makes the first step to make sure it does not cost everything.

What I do have however fully outlined is the formatting of this fic. Because something something aesthetics, writing is art and just like with any other art, the way the story is presented too impacts the way the art is perceived. In this case what I'm saying is that I have the chapter split outlined as follows:

Four chapters, similarly to how a symphony is separated (- do not quote me on this I barely passed music class in eighth grade okay)

First chapter is preseason testing to Monaco, we shall see if I include that here or in the second chapter, stc to word count

Second is Monaco to summer break, once again stc if summer break is included here or not

Third is summer break to circa Singapore, this is also where the breaking point occurs

Finally fourth is the end, the fallout, the crowning, the end

I am stupidly proud of this and trust me I have so many notes on the structure and even chapter titles, though I am wavering between oh these are so cringe and I adore these so yall will have to wait until this gets out of jail. When this gets out of jail, trust me, its got the tried and tested Eric strategy team working on it.

Anyway, I am using this fic as my outlet to put in all Ferrari related thoughts. Maybe this is less of a Charles character study and more of a Ferrari character study cause to me they are a monster quite like no other else and this fic is just the outlet to write poetry about this team. I am quite literally frogging several of my older wips just for the imagery.

Also I very much enjoy writing these stories that feel larger than the sport and life itself. Is this about Charles or is this about Ferrari, the sport, how media perception impacts how we view the athletes? Could theoretically this be about any team and driver if I tried hard enough?

The answer to that btw is sort of. There is no other team with quite the history and mythology of Ferrari on the grid, the ghost of Enzo Ferrari is within the DNA of this sport lets be real here. Ferrari itself is haunted by its former glory, Michaels five consecutive championships that were almost violently stopped by Fernando, Kimis one single championship and then the slow death, Fernando and Seb who miserably failed at winning even though they came close. And even though yes, technically Lewis does win his eighth with them just before the fic starts, there is still a world of difference between Lewis and Charles, the Il Predestinato.

Oh and speaking of Charles, I don't think there is currently a driver on the grid with the amount of mythology behind him as he is. Sure, Lewis has a lot behind him but that is tangible, that is real, people watched that legacy be built year by year, race by race, lap by lap. He did not come onto the scene with so much mythology around him already. Meanwhile Charles not only has his mythology, but he keeps touting it around.

Now do I think it is fake? Not necessarily. I would not be surprised if some pieces are embellished or changed slightly, to look and sound better, but too much of it is fact checkable to be fully fake. Does Charles lean into it? Absolutely. But then again, he also cried on the Monaco podium and I think that was genuine. And Ferrari and the tifosi downright adore him, Ferrari is a religion and Charles is at the forefront of it and I really wanna sink my teeth into that and poke at him until he gives me all his secrets.

Anyway there are other teams for who there is a story in a similar vibe to be written, Mercedes and their almost explosive return to the scene before the past few years, McLaren sort of playing second fiddle to Ferrari in how they are written within the history of F1. Heck I've already channelled the vibes once with wonderland with Williams and their fall from glory, and lbr I could probably go on and on. Almost all teams have a story that could with a little bit of skill be written into something larger than life but I think Ferrari has both the plot and the driver.

I am just saying, when Charles wins a championship? He might as well be crowned some sort of a prince, don't think Ferrari and F1 at large will forget that season anytime soon. Just look what happened in Monaco and Monza this year. And that was just Monaco and Monza.

All this to say, my draft of a description for it currently looks like this. Crowning of the Il Predestinato or something idk

Anyway sorry for all that rambling I've just been rotating this specific premise in my head for a while now and been wanting to write another fic like this for even longer. Timeloop is fun but does not have the larger than existence vibes yk? It's too secretive, no one can know you are stuck in a timeloop meanwhile everyone can see this happen, and technically its an outsider pov but with a lot of insight into Charles. Perfect storm dare I say.