#(this fic was incredibly good you should ALL read it with google translate)

[leatherbookmark]

aaaaah the lxc poll is assuming he’s going to survive the 100 years. i see i see. well,

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 10

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Panic/Anxiety Attack. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f). Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 6.6k

Series List: Here!

Miss Track 9? Here!

Hi!!!! Once again I want to apologize for taking so long with this. I can't seem to ever stay awake to do anything. That being said, here it is! This is the last main chapter of our little lovebirds. There will be at least one, likely two bonus tracks coming soon though :) Also there's a smidge of Spanish in here from Pedro, but the translation is included in the end of the sentence. I took some Spanish classes back in the day but I don't speak it and had to use Google translate. So if it ISN'T right and you do speak Spanish, please let me know lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these little cuties on their first date. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of kissing in here (sorry...) and overall they're just grossly in love lol. Please let me know what you think, and if you've seriously read this far, I LOVE YOU! This is my first series, and honestly my first fic other than the one I wrote in my diary lmao. Like the reader, I am incredibly inexperienced so writing a relationship has been a bit of a challenge and half the time I don't believe the actual words I'm writing. But I really only started writing it as a way to write down my daydreams :) So to have support means the world to me, and hearing people comment/DM me saying how much they relate has meant so much and makes me feel a lot less alone, because ultimately, it doesn't matter how fictional it is, most of reader's feelings are my own. To anyone else in the same boat, I get you! Hang in there. I think there's a Pedro out there for us all. Someday. Anywho, pardon my ramble. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it. ❤

The next morning, you woke up and stretched your limbs, rolling over in your comfortable bed as the sunshine poured in through the window. At the shuffling of your body, Skipper groaned, wiggling a little in bed, nearly shoving you off the edge. You reached for your phone, blinking through your sleep a couple times before seeing a text from Pedro. “Good morning beautiful! I can't wait for our date today. I was thinking maybe we could start around 2:30 and spend the day together, if you'd like. But if that's too much, we can just make it a dinner date. Up to you which you would prefer. I understand either way. Love you ❤️”

He wants to spend the whole day with me!? And he sent me a good morning text and called me beautiful? Then signed it with a heart and love you?!!!! How did I get this man?

Your grin eclipsed your face, making you squint. If Mr. Grumpybutt weren't sharing the bed with you, you'd probably squeal and kick your feet. Tapping your phone screen, you typed out a reply. “Morning handsome ❤️ I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you. I love you too!” You sent the message before crawling out of bed gently, receiving a dirty look from Skip. 

“Alright Grump. Go back to bed. Geez,” you laughed. If looks could kill, you thought. He turned back on his side, letting out a grumble and sigh, resulting in a laugh from you. Acts like he pays rent and works 40 hours a week…

You took a relaxing shower, making sure to be all nice and fresh for your date with the man of your dreams. While brushing your teeth, you noticed he had replied. “Great, I can't wait. I'll be at your place at 2:30. :)”

“Can't wait to see you. What do you have planned? I'm wondering how to dress.”

“Wear whatever you feel good in, baby. I'm sure you'll look amazing. Probably something casual you can walk around comfortably in for the day. Maybe something a little dressier for the evening, but you don't need to carry it around. We will make a stop at your place before and you can change”

Wow he really has this planned out.

“What have you got planned, P? This sounds elaborate. You know you don't need to put in all that effort, I'm already yours ❤️”

“You deserve the world, my love.”

Dressed in a pair of leggings and a light sweater, you felt reasonably cute while still being comfortable for whatever activity Pedro had in mind. Plus, with the crisp November air, you would be nice and warm. You were just finishing tying your sneakers when your doorbell rang. 

You opened the door to find your handsome boyfriend standing on your step, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. “Mi amor,” he handed you the roses, kissing your cheek and hand. “Thank you Pedro,” your cheeks heated. “Come in,” you pulled his hand across the doorway towards the living room. Skipper pushed past you to investigate, causing Pedro to drop your hand.

“Well there he is! That handsome boy!” Skipper’s tail wagged and his butt wiggled as Pedro crouched to give ear scratches. “Oh, I love you too,” Pedro answered when Skip kissed his face frantically. A fit of giggles erupted from Pedro, making your heart swell with joy. He has the cutest laugh, and the fact that your dog is causing it was surreal. 

“You're just a beautiful boy! Aren't you?! Hermoso, igual que tu mamá,” he held Skipper’s face, kissing his nose. (Beautiful, just like your mama)

Your chest was filled with butterflies. Holy shit, he's charming. “Thank you, Pedro,” you said in a whisper, not even sure if he would hear. Turning his head from your dog, Pedro looked up at you, giving you a gentle smile; but the eye contact was quickly torn away when Skipper pressed a needy paw to Pedro's chest. Both of you now giggling, Pedro continued to pet Skipper, stopping to give him a hug and some more nose kisses.

“Alright. I gotta ask…” you prompted, causing Pedro to turn his head towards you again. “Are you just dating me to hang out with my dog?” You smirked.

Pedro turned back to Skipper, speaking in a low voice. “She's catching on to us buddy. We've been made.” You burst out laughing, Skipper looking over at you as if his plan really had been foiled.

Pedro gave a final pat on Skipper’s head before standing and walking over to you. “Nonsense,” he pecked a kiss to your lips. “I do love that sweet boy of yours,” he replied before turning his face to whisper in your ear. “But I'm absolutely enamored with you, Mamacita.” The hair on your neck stood as a chill rushed down your spine. You bit your lower lip, and he stared back into your eyes, leaning in for a passionate kiss. 

“You look beautiful,” he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“You look rather handsome, yourself,” you replied. His hair was brushed back and to the side, his curls neatly swept and threatening to break free around his face. You wondered whether he asked for help to make his hair look extra nice for your date or if he styled it himself.

Running your fingertips over his patched salt and pepper beard, your hands found the small heart shaped patches near his chin. You brushed your thumb over his jaw before leaning in to press a kiss on the bare skin, causing his eyes to close as he let out a sigh. The whiskers tickled your cheeks as you continued kissing up his jawline, back across his cheek, and on his nose before pulling away to look into his eyes.

He opted to not wear glasses today, allowing you a closer look into his deep brown eyes which were softening under your gaze. “You ready to go, baby?” He asked you, his hand on your hip as he rubbed circles with his thumb.

“Absolutely,” you smiled. He wore a pair of dark jeans, tennis shoes, and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his forearm. He looked absolutely… incredible.

While you were grabbing your bag, he grabbed Skipper's leash. “Is Skipper coming too?” You asked, confused.

Skipper was twirling now, impatient to go somewhere.

“Sure is! Couldn't leave him out. But don't worry, you and I will have the night to ourselves,” he winked.

You looked downward, feeling shy and flushed. “Okay,” you giggled, clipping Skip to his leash and heading for the door.

“Do you want to take my car? You'll get dog hair and slobber in yours,” you offer.

“I don't mind! I love dogs,” Pedro replied, opening the door for Skipper to climb in the back seat. After closing the door, he opened the passenger door for you. Such a gentleman, you thought with a sigh, getting in and thanking him. 

As the car sped along, you looked over at your boyfriend driving the car. Boyfriend! That'll never get old… you thought to yourself. The air conditioning blew the few loose strands of hair on the top of his head, and his left hand gripped the wheel, making the veins on his hand prominent. With his right hand, he reached over, holding your left in his, resting on top of your thigh. 

He really did look beautiful. You couldn't help but stare at him as he expertly drove the car, hand flexing as he turned the wheel. His mouth pursed and he licked his lips, his tongue slowly jutting out to wet them. 

Damn, I want those lips on mine. That tongue in my mouth, you thought, feeling rather warm, despite the air conditioning swirling around the car.

“So where are we spending the day?” You asked, trying to quiet the flames of attraction licking at your pulse.

“It's a surprise! But we're almost there,” he answered, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.

Pedro looked in the side mirror and laughed. “Babe, look at Skipper.”

You looked to see him with his head out the window, ears and lips blown back with the wind, his tongue lolled out to the side and blowing with the speed of the vehicle.

You both chuckled before you warned him, “your car is going to be covered in slobbers, Pedro!” He gave another quick look to Skipper before replying. “That's okay. It'll help me remember this day until I wash it again,” he looked over at you and smiled. It felt so natural. So… domestic, the two of you sitting in the car, going on a date, him holding your hand while driving, and the two of you laughing at your dog in the back seat. It was just perfect. Everything you dreamed.

He wasn't joking when he said you were almost there. It was only about five more minutes until the car pulled into the parking lot of the dog-friendly beach. 

Stepping out of the vehicle, you took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of salty sea air and hearing the chatter of gulls. The breeze blew your hair gently, but the day was relatively warm for November.

After the three of you exited the car, Pedro opened the trunk, pulling out a large picnic basket and tote bag. “You really came prepared, didn't you? Pedro, this is really special. Thank you.” Your eyes felt teary and the smile you held was genuine. Nobody has ever put this much effort into anything for you. Other than him.

“You don't need to thank me. I want you to be happy and I want the three of us to have a nice day,” he added, pecking your lips.

“Wait.. Pedro,” you frowned. “It looks kind of crowded. Should I be nervous about paparazzi or anything?” Your stomach bubbled with nervous energy.

“Don't worry, sweetheart. Celebs come here all the time. I've come here before. If they do, they might take pictures, but usually it's pretty low-key here. Try not to worry too much. I want you to have a nice time,” he squeezed your hand affectionately.

“Okay. I trust you,” you smiled at him as the three of you walked towards the sand, finding a nice place to picnic. Pedro unpacked, laying down a large blanket before setting up the spread of sandwiches, veggies, and fruit. He offered you a cold drink from the basket and the two of you sat, using a metal stake to secure Skipper’s leash near your blanket. He flopped onto his side, content to be sunbathing with some of his favorite people.

The lunch consisted of peaceful conversations and laughter, learning more about each other despite having talked for several months now. It seemed you could never run out of conversation topics. But even in the quiet moments, it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt relaxing. You were both content being able to sit together in silence and just enjoy each other's company.

After your meal, you packed up the basket and headed for the car again to put the things away, opting for a walk unburdened by carrying items across the sand. Neither of you brought a swimsuit today, but despite the California sun, it was still November, and the Pacific ocean was never really warm, even in the middle of summer. That didn't seem to bother Skipper very much though. As the two of you walked hand in hand near the water, barefoot in the wet sand, he ran laps around Pedro holding him on the leash, occasionally splashing through the shallow water before joining close by his family again.

He would definitely need a bath later, but you didn't mind. He was happy splashing around, having a great day. You were happy walking with the man of your dreams, fingers intertwined together. Everything felt right. You weren't even nervous, despite the way Pedro looked like the most handsome man you've ever seen, or the fact that he was famous, and that you occasionally received stares from other beach goers. Instead of the usual first-date nerves people get, you just felt love.

“So,” he started excitedly, “Obviously I have most of this date planned, but I also wanted to check in with you and see if you had anything particular in mind that you wanted to do together.”

You thought for a second, letting a memory burn into your thoughts. “Well,” you began, "I don't want to sound like a total creepy fan or anything...” you added, cautiously. You kinda were, with all the photos of him you had saved on your phone (prior to deleting them before your first meeting in person). But that's not important right now, and he probably doesn't need to know that. Maybe it can be a funny story later.

Pedro laughed, that cute little wheezy laugh he does with his giant smile that makes your stomach do somersaults. Those same somersaults you've been getting since you first saw that smile on the screen and knew you were absolutely screwed until you got over this crush. Or, unexpectedly, when you walked hand-in-hand with him, like you were now.

“But…?” he pondered, looking down at you sideways, with a playful smirk and those big brown eyes that could make you lose your mind. They absolutely glittered in the sunlight right now, reflecting all the joy and love he felt for you.

“Okay maybe I'm a little creepy…” you nudged him with your side, still gripping his hand in yours as the two of you walked peacefully. The beach was crowded, but you and him, and Skipper, were the only ones here as far as either of you were concerned. There could be a loud scream and it wouldn't compare to the squealing in your mind. A firework show would simply feel like a projection of your sparks. A tornado couldn't sweep you off your feet as well as he could. 

“Is this where you tell me you've been watching me sleep through my window for the past three years or something?” He raised an eyebrow, playful smile still on his face as he licked his lips.

“What?” You squeaked, laughing. “No. I mean… I did have some pictures saved of you, and have maybe read a fictional story or two about you and your characters…” or a few thousand, you thought.

You cringed. Why the fuck did I say that out loud?!

Your cheeks felt hot and you diverted your eyes away from the man beside you, a nervous grimace painted across your mouth. He barked out a laugh, pulling you into his side for a hug. “Baby, you're cute. I don't mind that you used to read those. I don't even mind if you still do. No different than a book, right? Maybe it'll give us some fun date ideas.” He rested his head on top of yours innocently.

Oh, if only he knew the things you read.

“Right. Fun date ideas,” you smirked to yourself. He pulled away to look at you, eyebrow raising playfully.

“Sweetheart,” he interrogated in the same tone you use when Skipper steals a sock from the laundry, “what kind of stories are you reading about me and my characters, huh?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes. You'd feel nervous from his tone if he didn't flash a smug, knowing grin at you.

“Oh, you know…” you shrugged. “Just the typical romance stuff,” you turned, facing him and resting your hand on his chest, tracing a circle over his heart with your finger. You felt his pulse pick up under your touch, and saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“What kind of thoughts are going through that pretty head of yours?” He asked, raising his brow while you continued tracing little hearts into his shirt with your index finger.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” You winked before removing your hand from his chest. Starting to walk away, you continued your earlier statement. “Anyway, as I was saying-”

“Oh, no you don’t,” he interrupted, laughing. “Don't think you're getting out of this conversation that easy,” he gently pulled your forearm, stopping your movement and sending you twirling into his arms once again.

“Maybe someday I'll tell you,” you giggled, booping his nose. 

“Someday? Why not tell me now?” He ran his thumb over your lip, eyes drifting down quickly before returning to your eyes.

“I'll show you the fanfics I read about you when I know you're stuck with me and you aren't going to run for the hills,” you laughed nervously, only partially joking.

His playful demeanor vanished before your eyes, turning into a look of… concern? Oh no. This is it. Where he realizes what a mistake he made. Where he says he doesn't want to be together. Where he breaks my heart.

He gently held your arm, rubbing soft strokes. “Honey. What are you talking about?” His soft brown eyes searched your face. You gulped, not wanting to make eye contact, but he again pulled your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I…” you floundered for the words. “I don't want to scare you away.”

“Why would I be scared away?” he asked in almost a whisper, concern and sadness lacing his features.

“Because I just had this huge, huge crush on you. So, I read fanfics and I saved all your photos and I watched all your movies. I spent more time on social media looking for updates on you. Just so I could see you, or imagine what being with you would feel like. Like a total crazy person. An absolute psycho creeper.”

“Baby…” he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You aren't any of those things. I actually think that’s kind of sweet. Although, it makes me a little sad thinking about the pain you must have felt, having these strong feelings and not having found each other yet.” He brushed your hair out of your face, settling his other hand on your waist before continuing.

“Feelings make us feel a little crazy sometimes, and although I never read fanfiction about you, or had any pictures to save, I would be lying if I said I didn't take a screenshot of us that first night you showed me your face.” He rubbed his neck bashfully.

Fanfic about me? What? If that even exists, I gotta see what people are saying…

“You did?” His admission surprised you, to say the least. He sighed before answering. “Yes. I had - have,” he corrected himself, “a pretty big crush on you too, baby. But I felt like I was betraying you in a way, taking a picture of you during our video chat. I just wanted to remember your face if I never saw it again,” he sighed.

“I fell in love with you the first time I heard your song... I heard you sing about your feelings and daydreams. So… you admitting about fanfiction and pictures isn't all that surprising.” You lowered your eyes in embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me.” He stroked your cheek. You looked up and he continued. “I took that picture because I had already fallen so head-over-heels for you that the first time I saw your face, I stopped breathing. Although I knew I wouldn't be able to get the image of you out of my mind, I couldn't risk forgetting the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.”

You dropped your gaze again, cheeks feeling a permanent state of warmth and butterflies dancing from your stomach to your chest. “You don't honestly mean that, Pedro.” You sighed. “I appreciate it, but there's no way. I really don't know what you could ever see in someone like me,” you whispered, barely audible. If you weren't standing so close, he would've missed it.

Instead of responding, he dropped his arms from your body. At the loss of contact, your heart sank. But when you lifted your head to meet his eyes, he was fishing around his pocket for his phone. Calling an Uber to leave? Your self-doubt pestered.

A few taps to his screen later and he held up his phone. There you were, sitting at your table in your favorite dress, with your favorite food and flowers on the table. You had the biggest smile on your face and in the bottom corner, you could see Pedro looking handsome as always, and absolutely smitten with you, the largest grin painted across his features.

At the sight of the image, your heart warmed. “See what you mean to me?” He asked, putting his phone back into his pocket. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you choked out, leaning forward to mold your lips to his. They fit together perfectly. Like they were made for each other. He pressed back before opening his mouth ever so slightly to lick at your lips. Matching his movements, your tongues met, dancing a waltz in exploration as he pulled you forward by your lower back, seeming as if trying to get as close as possible somehow.

As the two of you paused for air, he ran his hand further down your back, just barely grazing the dip of your spine where your torso meets your butt. He gave you a look, almost to determine your reaction, asking permission to let his hand continue. When you didn't back away, going as far as pulling him closer around his neck and leaning in for another kiss, he pressed his lips against yours in return and let his hands wander a little further down. When his hand wrapped around the cheek of your ass, you squeaked. This is new… and I like it, you thought. His whole hand fit across your cheek. His huge hands. You whimpered as he gave a squeeze, like he was claiming you as his own.

“I love you too.” He finally responded, pulling out of the kiss to search your eyes. “So tell me… what was this activity you wanted to add to our date? The one you fear makes you sound like a creepy fan?” He let out a small laugh, brushing your nose with his.

“This,” you replied, pressing another kiss.

“Kissing?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over your waist and resting his forehead to yours. “I think we've already been doing that, if I'm not mistaken.” He pecked your lips with his.

“Yes,” you kissed. “Well,” kiss. “Actually,” you pulled away enough to explain. “I read this interview you gave a few years ago about your ideal first date?”

“Yeah?”

“You said something about ‘a date that doesn't feel like a date. And

hopefully by the end, or throughout, very

good kissing.” You said, slightly cautious at your memorization, a bit nervous at the implication of what you're saying.

“Oh, is that what you want?” He flashed his eyes up to look at you, giving a devilish smirk. 

“Well, as someone who hadn't been kissed yet when I read it, I sorta lost my mind over it,” you laughed. “Obviously we've kissed before, but if it were up to me your lips would never leave mine,” you pressed your lips to his again.

“I think we should be able to make that happen,” he leaned in, brushing his nose against yours before pulling you in for another kiss. “Mmmm” you sighed, pulling away from his lips. “Never gets old.” You held his hand in yours, the two of you walking again down the beach.

“So I was thinking,” he began, “since you said you deleted all your photos, and I only have the one, maybe we could make some new photos… together,” the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked smile. You grinned and nodded excitedly. “Please!”

Pulling out his phone, the two of you took several photos together. Some just smiling, some with Skipper, and your personal favorites, the ones with him kissing you. This will make for a perfect lockscreen, you imagined.

As you approached the edge of a rocky cliffside at the end of the beach, a sea lion barked in the distance. Skipper perked up, tilting his head and letting his ears twitch before returning a “boof.” The two of you laughed, ushering your dog away from making any wild ocean friends, and headed towards the boardwalk.

After grabbing an ice cream at a candy shop, you were so deep in conversation and laughter that you didn't notice the girl off to the side looking nervous. Slowly she walked over. Skipper put up his guard, but as she approached, she gave a kind wave. “Hi… I'm sorry to bother you. I'm a big fan of you both.”

“Us… both?!” You responded, surprised. Pedro shook his head with a laugh before thanking the fan.

“Of course! Your music is amazing! I listen to it on my way home from work everyday. I relate to so many of your songs.”

“Wow, thank you so much. I never expected to be recognized. You're so kind,” you replied honestly.

She asked for a photo with you both, and after obliging, she mentioned before leaving, “by the way, I was following all the news that went down. I just want to say I think it's cute how you guys got together and you make a really cute couple. Okay bye! Thank you again!!” And with that, she scurried away, leaving you to look at Pedro in surprise. “Wow” you replied with a laugh. “I can't believe I'm getting recognized,” you spoke quietly.

“How do you feel about it?” Pedro asked cautiously.

“I feel… okay, so far. This was a nice interaction, and even though people keep looking at us… being able to be out in public with you, to show my face, kiss you, hug you, hold your hand,” you gave his hand a squeeze, “it makes it all worth it.”

“I couldn't agree more,” he looked into your eyes, giving a soft smile. You matched his expression before his face slowly faded into concern. “Do you think work will go okay for you? Now that it's out there?”

You took a deep breath, walking a few more steps with him down the boardwalk before replying. “I don't know. I guess so. Or… I hope so at least. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers message me kind words of encouragement. So at least I'll have some people on my side, even if anyone else has something to say. But really, they shouldn't. They already know me. They knew I liked you,” you leaned into him. “So they should be happy for me if anything. And if not, then… well, they didn't deserve to be my friend anyway,” you shrugged. “But I think I might take some time off to figure out everything, career wise,” you added. Still leaning into his side, Pedro unlatched his fingers from yours, opting to reach his arm around you, giving your shoulder a squeeze and rubbing soft circles into your upper arm.

“Baby,” Pedro began, his voice vibrating through your body as he leaned his head on yours, “I’m so proud of you. Have I told you how strong I think you are?” Your cheeks warmed and you grinned. “Thank you Pedro,” you wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him. “But I don't think I'm that strong. I struggle to open pickle jars just like the rest of us,” you joked.

Pedro gave a quiet snort. “You know what I mean, honey,” he laughed. “I don't mean physical strength. Though I'm sure you could hold your own in an arm wrestle, I mean your ability to handle all of this thrown at you so quickly. Your ability to adapt and stay cheerful about everything. You just keep continuing to amaze me,” he pulled his head away from yours to meet your gaze. He smiled softly and you thanked him.

“I don't feel very strong,” you mumbled, breaking away from his stare. “You are, though. You're strong, smart, beautiful. Talented. Passionate,” he kissed your lips.

“Pedro, I love you, but you always seem to use all these words I don't feel. You see me as someone completely different than the way I've always seen myself. I want to believe you, but-” you sighed. “No one else has ever shown any indication that those are true,” you pouted, trying not to tear up.

“Hey, hey, whoa. Stop,” he halted your movements, pulling your chin up to his face. “Maybe they didn't see you, but I do. I feel all those things about you, and I'll spend every single day trying to prove it. I told myself I wouldn't get involved in romance a long time ago. But you changed all that.”

His chocolate brown eyes felt like they looked directly into your soul as he attempted to unravel your self-doubt. With a deep breath, you calmed enough to reply. “I love you, and I feel all those things for you as well. I'm glad you opened yourself up to love again.” You pressed a kiss to his lips. “I'm glad I met you” you sucked his lip. “I'm glad you're mine.” You kissed him again, deepening it, letting your tongue press gently to his and tangling together in passion before pulling away. 

Skipper had completely rolled into his side in wait for you both, between the conversation and the kissing. When the two of you broke away with matching grins, you looked over to see the sun had sunk down to the border between sky and ocean. In its wake was a bright orange sky, with pink, purple, and yellow streaks mixed in, as if a painter had gotten a bit too carried away with the paints. It was blindingly beautiful. 

Drawn to it like moths, the three of you walked towards the shoreline once again. You started to sit, but Pedro pulled you into his chest and fished for his phone. 

You gave him a confused look before he kissed you deeply and held out his arm. Unlatching his lips from yours with a pop, he held up his phone to you with a smile. In front of the vibrant ocean sunset, the silhouette of a couple shared a loving kiss. For once, it was you in this couple photo. You and the man you love.

You walked a little farther down the sand before sitting down just above the line of wet sand to admire the sunset. Pedro sat behind you, his legs on either side of you while you lay back into his chest. As you leaned into him, he hugged around your body, molding himself to you and tracing light circles into the skin on your arms, making the hairs stand on end and a shiver to run down your spine. 

Skipper flopped down nearby, clearly sleepy after a long walk and plenty of new smells. You ran a gentle hand down his back until you heard soft snores, then let him sleep, leaning your head on Pedro’s arm around your shoulder. “This sunset is beautiful,” you sighed, watching as the sun descended further below the ocean. It looked as if it was sinking deep below the surface, offering its light to the deep sea anglerfish miles below.

“It is amazing,” Pedro agreed, staring at you. “But my view is even better,” he added, and you could feel his eyes on the side of your face as he kissed your shoulder. You looked over at him, meeting his eyes, now sparkling with the orange of the sky. “Mine too,” you whispered, tilting your head to press another kiss to his lips.

When the sun went down completely, you headed to the car and Pedro drove back to your place so you could get ready for dinner. 

Pedro sat on the couch patiently, stroking the fur on Skip’s back while he snoozed, his head in Pedro's lap. In your bedroom, you searched for the perfect outfit to wear, finally deciding on a nice dress and sweater.

Hopefully the restaurant isn't too cold, you thought.

Walking out of the bedroom, you joined your boys in the living room, only to be greeted by Pedro’s jaw hitting the floor. “Te ves tan hermosa mi amor,” he stuttered in Spanish, flipping languages so easily when he was overcome with emotion. (You look so gorgeous my love.)

He gently stood, sliding out from below your dog, before walking over to you. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe and back up again, making you feel nervous. “You… you look… wow.” He rubbed his hand over his chin, his thumb grazing his lip. His pupils grew, making his eyes ever-so-slightly darker. You shivered under his gaze.

At your shiver, his demeanor shifted. “Shit, are you cold? Baby, you look incredible, but if you're cold -” 

“I'm not cold, Pedro,” you interrupted.

“Are you sure? I saw you shiver.” He stepped towards you, touching your arm. A buzz crept under your skin like a live wire. “It wasn't from the cold…” you replied.

“It wasn't from-?” He paused, the realization hitting him as he understood your shiver wasn't from cold but frankly.. the opposite. “Oh,” he hummed, settling his hand on your hip and stepping closer.

Another chill.

“Feeling excited for our date, huh?” His voice caressed into your ear as he kissed his way down your neck, pausing to take gentle nibbles on the skin of your collarbone, neck, and chin, before pulling you in by your waist to press a deep kiss to your mouth, his tongue finding yours. 

This was starting to feel natural, kissing. And you two were getting good at it together. Knowing just the way his tongue moved, finding just the spot to make you whine. You even managed to find a spot of him that made a groan slip from his lips nearly every time. Kissing him was addicting, and you had no intention of kicking the habit.

He pulled away, pulling your lip with his teeth as you let out a slight hiss. “I'd love to do this all night, but I promised you dinner, my love,” he kissed your cheek, his beard scratching your face just right. You sighed, agreeing to dinner and taking a minute step back. It felt much warmer in the room than before, and you could tell he felt the same. As your eyes drifted across his body, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat. Slowly sweeping his eyes down his body, it was evident you both wanted something beyond dinner.

But the gentleman he is, Pedro stepped forward again, taking your hand and leading you toward the door. 

Pulling up to the curb, Pedro opened your door for you before handing his keys to the valet. Linking his arm with yours, the two of you walked into an elegant Italian restaurant. He gave the waitress his name, and she led you back to a secluded room where a single booth sat.

The room was dimly lit, illuminated by candles and twinkling fairy lights. They lined the ceiling, mimicking the starry sky, were it not for the smog of the city. You two walked toward the only booth, settled against the nook of a window, draped with a soft, thin white curtain covering the view from outside. Only the reflection of street lights peered through the thin drapery.

Sliding into the booth, Pedro sat next to you, close enough to touch, yet due to the curve of the corner booth, you were able to converse without craning your neck awkwardly. At the center of the table was a single red rose in a vase, sat next to the glow of a candle. The table itself was rounded and draped with an elegant dark red tablecloth.

Grabbing the triangular folded napkin off your plate, you folded it across your lap, Pedro doing the same. He reached over to you, taking your hand in his. He rolled his hand over the top of yours, linking his fingers between your own and giving a gentle squeeze while offering a soft smile. 

You looked into his eyes, searching for the words he might be thinking. In his eyes you only found love and appreciation, pure happiness oozing from his features. When the waitress came back, she set a basket of bread with butter on the table and took your orders. 

The night went smoothly, chatter filling the empty spaces while you enjoyed your meals. “Pedro, I know this is technically our first date, but I gotta say, I think I consider our video chat for my album as the first date. It was the first time I felt like I might actually have a shot with you. You put so much effort into that night and it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I didn't know I could fall for you any harder than I was, but you proved me wrong. And even though we didn't say it was a date, and I didn't have much experience before you, it felt more like a date than anything I had ever felt before. You're a real romantic, P.” 

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “That felt like the first date to me too. I knew for sure that I loved you that night.” Your cheeks heated, and you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

It was only when the bill arrived that you broke apart. Though you offered to pay, at least for your meal, Pedro wouldn't stand for that. After all, he told you, this date was his idea. So instead, you thanked him and left the restaurant the same way you entered, arms linked.

As Pedro pulled up outside of your home, you let out a sigh. It was already after 9 PM. You had spent nearly eight hours together and yet you dreaded the moment you'd be saying goodbye. It was almost that time already, yet it felt like only five minutes had passed.

Though the walk from Pedro’s car to your front door was rather short, you both managed to prolong it, walking as slow as possible. Clearly he wasn't ready for it to end either. Two love sick fools, just wanting to spend every moment together.

Teetering on the edge of goodbyes, you awkwardly stood by your door. There were no nerves at a first kiss, fortunately. There had been plenty of kisses shared today, and yesterday, and the day prior. In fact, if it weren't for breathing, eating, and other bodily functions, you'd be fine having your lips glued to his indefinitely.

So with that in mind, and the burning desire to spend more time together, as he said goodbye, placing a kiss to your lips and beginning to walk away, you grabbed his arm. “Wait,” you plead.

Pedro turned, looking at you as if you had something to say, or you had forgotten a sweater in the car. But instead, with your heart pounding in your ears, you quietly asked, “would you like to come in? I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”

The question could be taken with so many potential implications, or none at all. All you knew for sure was that you wanted to spend more time with him. What happened next could be decided in the moment.

His eyes flashed surprise for a moment. He looked at you, trying to read your face for any details in your question, then stared at your front door before turning back to you and finally answering.

“I would love to,” he smiled.

And so the two of you walked through the threshold of your front door, buzzing with new possibilities just inside. But no matter how the rest of the evening takes place, you were in love, and for once, you were loved back.

The end! Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the bonus tracks, and once again I'd love to hear what you think! Reblogs are appreciated as well :)

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors @emmalostinwonderland

[pricemarshfield]

Answer the prime numbers. Do All Tha Prime Numbers 🫵

good lord. okay but i’m putting it under the cut

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

biiiit of both? i know very concretely where i want a fic to start & end, i know the general placement of a few important scenes throughout the fic, and then i have Loose outlines about how each chapter will get me there. but mostly i write as i go; i just have an idea of the endpoint so i don’t wander off into the wilderness (drive my outline wildly off course)

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

well since playing bg3 it’s: become haunted by an idea involving raphael baldursgate, say oh my god no i haven’t even written any of my current wips in months i don’t have time, and then blacking out with 6k of porn that’s somehow not even close to done on my google docs. and this repeats forever

but also. i kinda just do it idk. i sit at my computer and write until it’s done

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

context dependent. if i ask for it, yeah. unprompted in comments, nah. people are much better about this than they used to be, which is funny because i’m less bothered now than i used to be. baby fic author sarah was haunted by concrit; current me is like yeah critique is the only way to improve but i am writing this for funnnn so leaf me alone

(should specify i Just mean in terms of like. technical advice here. if i’m being a bigot in my writing somehow, that is something i want to know and fix asap)

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

vibessss. whoever i wanna write more in the moment unless the specific scene only works from one perspective. this is why talk is getting a sequel (threequel. i guess. bc i’m also doing the two-part “endings”) which is just the same fic but from raphael pov bc i want to write him now

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

only three? damn. can i do four 😭 you sent me over a dozen questions i’m doing four.

of street names & subway wall prophecies by @dalgursbate is SO good. buffyverse au shadowstarion, so well-characterized and vivid and also FUN i LOVE it. i already liked shadowstarion (shocking! girl who multiships everything likes pairing between two of her favorite characters!) but now i rotate them in my mind forever. i want to bind this physically so i have it and am only stopped by having not actually kept most of my bookbinding stuff when i moved. but i need a physical copy so i can Eat It. also everyone should read everything else molly’s ever posted

who will burn who by @pouralaura is so good i’m proselytizing for it. PHENOMENAL fic. professor au raphael and he is SOOO fun; he fits so well in this verse without being defanged into something unrecognizable. and also it’s HOT!!!! SO HOT! fanning myself when i read it! the prose is just soooo fucking nice in this too. all of what i’ve said about this fic is true of all of laura’s fics and once again. everyone should read everything she’s ever posted

Blood in the Wine by @atrueneutral is so fucking interesting that i literally had to lie in bed and just stare at my ceiling and THINK about it after i read the latest chapter today. priest raphael au But Watch Out. i’m so deeply intrigued by the world-building in this, and neutral’s tav is INCREDIBLY compelling. this fic makes me want to paint again and if i had a canvas on hand i probably would have by now. and not to sound like a broken record but everyone read all of neutral’s fics too tyvm 🙏

Cooler Than Me by @wetcatspellcaster has absolutely brightened my day with every update, which has been nice because boyyy am i going through it a little bit. an academic/celebrity modern au with rosalie frostsong, love of my life, as the academic consulting on a film about a historical figure she Hates, and astarion, playing that guy. it’s so fun and funny and fluffy, and i just love seeing how all the different characters are translated to this AU because they’re ALL bangers. fox you are my roommate and know this already but for anyone just reading through, i absolutely cannot recommend all of emma’s fics enough :)

for all of these peep me being #insane in the comments and also know i could have listed like eight more fics even Just sticking with bg3, plus like 10 more if i brought in all the banger d20 ones i still need to catch up on. anyway i’m gonna go reread all of these once i finish answering this ask

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

FOR ME show don’t tell works. because i treat it as a mantra to make sure i’m showing what i’m telling, since my (unedited) writing style is just. so direct. my characters are introspective and love to think “i am doing x because y which results in z” and that’s fun but sometimes less is more. but also i think it’s a tip that’s oft misused and not always helpful hence the For Me

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

i simply do something else 👍 i am past the point of forcing words out of myself. i wrote a 40 page paper in one night bc i procrastinated so badly in my senior year of college and i don’t want to return to the mental state that invoked in me. especially not for Fanfiction, my Hobby

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

post-canon, fluff, and alternate universe - canon divergence are the main three; i should note that these are largely one-off fics under 2k i wrote half a decade ago, and most of my fics now are messy longfics with a lot of smut. the canon divergence one is still real though

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

🗣️ if you’re stuck, go back three sentences!!! oh my GOD did this save my editing process. the fact i finish editing chapters ever is due to this. also write what you want to write when you want to write it; if you’re writing for a self-imposed deadline or entitled commenters, the fun’s gonna get sucked out of it Fast.

also if you get someone who makes a Lot of fic requests that brush veryyyy close to what you’re not comfortable taking just block them. it’s fine. protect your peace

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

finish draft. take a full day away from it. reread. fix mistakes. i absolutely Should do more—reading aloud, probably make comments to myself and then go back—but tbh. i am impatient. i want to Post and see people’s Thoughts right away

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

used to be characters and a Vibe and the plot would come after, now plots complete with characters and themes attack me in the night until a new outline appears in my google docs. i blame raphael

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

“okay so this chapter should end at this scene :) oh god why is this other scene getting so long. ah fuck this is already 6k words and i’m not halfway through my plans. oh jesus christ wait a second it’s incredibly self-indulgent additional scene with the steel chair!!” and then i keep writing until i hit whatever is in my outline. don’t do this. you can change your chapter count. i am inflexibly stubborn but everyone else can and should do that. or just don’t commit to a chapter count at first. don’t be like me

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I LOVE REREADING FICS !!! i guarantee every single fic i recommended above i have reread at least a dozen times times, and i think all three of them came out this year. one i discovered a momth ago. i have some fics i have reread Hundreds of times. i Love to reread fics

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

*poorly hiding a comically large mallet behind my back* i’m sooo nice to my characters actually. ignore the longfic which is just my tav’s bad end. and also the one where i put her in a version of hell she’d hate more than usual. and also all the things i’m gonna do in later knife’s edge chapters. and also that time i posted “this sucks for everyone but me, the writer who loves making things worse”

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

one. two if i’m really motivated. like a quarter of the way through before i give up and post immediately if i’m really UNmotivated. don’t be like me

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

i go through phases of each. i’ve written a lot this month, i read a lot last month. i think probably like 60:40 reader/writer but it’d probably be 50:50 if i wasn’t so committed to leaving comments with my full thoughts (and i love commenting. so i will not give that up)

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

my mom said she’d read my noir au when i told her about it (she has not). my grandma tried to figure out what to get me for my birthday by asking what fanfiction characters i liked right now. my aunt who i don’t even like has my ao3. i have no shame and also my writing fucks so like

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

I Need. To Read My Ideas. I Need Them To Exist. The Words Need To Be Out Of My Head And In A Form I Can Enjoy. also it’s fun and i like the community aspect of fandom

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

i love prompts and challenges but the fics i’ve been most excited to write have been fully independent ideas. still, fics i’ve loved and think are some of my best have come from challenges! so. idk i guess wishy-washy copout answer It Depends

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

i got a note on my phone with bullet points that are not clear enough and that i will be confused about later until at 3am i remember what the hell i meant by a bullet simply reading “jowan” (note: this is a real example. it is not a dragon age fic)

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i got no clue. i’m so bad at describing my own writing in general, i have no idea how to differentiate it from others’ work. i like it though! i’m just terrible at articulating stuff about my Own writing lmfao

fox you sent this to me An Hour Ago. if there are typos dont tell me. if i missed a prime number for Sure dont tell me. goddamn.

[queers-gambit]

I wanted to start writing fics and I have an idea of one I’d want to write but I’m unsure of even where to start. Could you please tell me how your process helps you? Any advice would be greatly appreciate!

Thank you!

hey, cutie pie! what a special message you've sent me. i'm feeling incredibly honored - whether you sent this message or not as a compliment, i don't wanna know, this could-be delusion is very flattering. you think i'm a well enough writer to ask advice from? 10 points to Slytherin.

it was Ernest Hemingway who said, “there is nothing to writing. all you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

unfortunately, i'm one of those people that says, "just start writing". i know this is like throwing you in the ocean without a life vest, but i hope i can teach you how to swim (or at the least, tread water) by breaking this down enough for yah.

please note i am NOT a professional - so everything below is to be taken with a grain of salt

first - welcome to the author community! where we all think we have to publish Pulitzer prize winning stories - every. single. time! and where we think our work is TRASH - every. single. time!

storytelling is a skill that you don't have to be "born with", but you do have to practice and experiment with. even seasoned writers need palette refreshers and to "return to the story drawing board." to me, writing is universally one of the greatest artistic mediums this world will ever know. stories transcend time; think folklore and mythology that date way way way back Before Christ (BC). stories can (mostly) only be built upon and altered - just look at the Bible! written text, yes, but it's diluted by X number of "translations" through the years, scholars, people, factions, economies.

anyways. i think it's REALLY cool you want to write and i honestly love that for you. i hope it's as beneficial to you as it is me.

best piece of advice i can give? be proud of yourself. confidence really shows through writing; it's not being arrogant or cocky, it's knowing you have a story to tell and being determined to tell it. trust me, that energy translates. when you're happy to write, audiences are happy to read; nobody is ever expecting you (or any fanfic writer) to be Chaucer or Shakespeare or Brontë or Poe or Fitzgerald or Tolstoy or Tolkien or Dickens or Eliot or Morrison, they want YOU to be YOU and to read YOUR story.

so have faith in yourself. have pride. find motivation and inspiration.

🍒 general rules of thumb

🍒 write everything down!

it doesn't matter where - just write! every! thing! down! write in a: -> Word document -> Tumblr draft -> good ol' fashioned pen and paper -> Sharpie and cafe napkin and for my Apple people: -> the notes app or Pages document

🍒 always write out the plot - doesn't matter if it's complete, just write it down! it's a tool, and trust me, when writing, think of it as your ankle being shattered and this written plot document is the crutch. it's extremely important to have a general idea of what your story's plot looks like so you can decide what details should be used to beef up the story's authenticity. this will help visualize the web you need to weave. it's a visual end goal. it's the reminder where your story is going. give yourself enough space to add to this idea, to expand it.

i prefer bullet points. experiment to find what works for you!

so, in a structure similar to educational notes, establish the general premise / main idea / main details. this is where you're going to answer (no, not literally), "why write this story? what's the point? what even IS the story? like, what's the plot?" -> if you ponder why you're writing a story and at any point, the answer is along the lines of being self indulgent, please understand, that is valid! write that shit!

🍒 notes are a safe space to write out ideas you might be interested in revisiting. so label everything because you'll revisit often - whether for the next story idea or not.

🍒 Google ― -> what you know to strengthen literary frame. allow this to include refreshment of writing devices. -> any and all words; keep a list of running adjectives, nouns, dramatic diction to give your story personality. -> definitions - even the words you already know! -> what you don't know! -> synonyms!

🍒 don't pay attention to word counts! 5k word fics are just as valid as 1.3k, even 896 word fics! fuck word counts, just tell the story.

🍒 write and rewrite. this is where writing becomes daunting, it's so fucking scary. but all you're doing is trying to find your voice, so write your drafts, then rewrite - rewrite - rewrite - and for good measure, rewrite, rewrite, aaaaand probably rewrite twice more. just allow yourself room to stretch and grow as an author when new and altered ideas come to mind - and when these new and altered ideas come to mind, write! them! down!

🍒 writing is supposed to be fun! 🍒 writing supports your emotional vulnerability! 🍒 be open to inspiration everywhere! 🍒 give yourself time and be kind! 🍒 encourage changes of thought and new directions! 🍒 don't minimize yourself to conform with what is "thought" to fit certain criteria - take authentic risks!

🍒 nonlinear and chaotic writing process

🍒 so... kinda first thing is done internally:

what's the plot? what was the idea formed in my head, inspiring me to write this story? what's the climax? is this idea able to turn into a story? -> i write it down.

which fandom? does my story idea fit into "canon timelines" or the fandom's setting? more or less, i determine if this is an AU or not. -> i write it down.

declare a muse i think BEST suits my story idea. -> i write it down (call that commitment).

now, i like to beef up the plot / climax details, either after the initial idea or establishment of muses. these are the nonnegotiable "dramatic factors" i think the story needs. -> i write it down.

🍒 then i just start writing the actual draft / structured story. i know, i know, i know! this is the worst advice and lots of authors say it. but it just means to start! it means you can start anywhere. it's your story, you're telling it - so you can literally just start because a story can grow in all directions.

🍒 personally, i use the fuck out of skeleton drafts (see below) because i like to revisit and build, restructure, and let seemingly random ideas take natural form almost every single time i sit down to write (which, for the sake of my mental health, is almost everyday).

🍒 i endeavor for mysterious, captivating, intriguing opening sentences or paragraphs and titles. so i'm constantly editing and Googling words, definitions, synonyms, phrases.

🍒 i draw inspiration from everywhere; sometimes from personal conversation and experiences, other books, quotes from movies and songs.

🍒 i strive for authenticity - i personally think it's what hooks an audience, when they can see even the SMALLEST fraction of themself in the story. so i challenge myself to get criminally vulnerable and open - so a lot of my trauma is processed through writing, too.

🍒 i like to employ common literary devices, such as metaphors, proverbs, iteration, personification. but that's a personal choice.

🍒 i often draft the story and then leave it for a bit to "marinate" because at the most random and often, inopportune, times, i'll have new ideas i want to add. so i leave myself time to revisit which can get frustrating, but it's necessary for my security to publish.

🍒 dialogue is "just conversation with a purpose". when writing dialogue, i often say the words in my head OR (as embarrassing as it might sound) out loud with the chracter's accents and TRY to convey that in my writing. so i use a lot of slang or incomplete sentences or predicates or accents - in the form of dropping the "g" from a lot of "-ing" ending words.

🍒 I DO NOT CONDONE THIS NOR ENCOURAGE THIS! but i'm a fiend and smoke a LOT. and i drink an unhealthy amount of coffee - so that def influences my writing whether i like it or not. this is 1000000% a personal choice and in no way, shape, or form am i encouraging anyone to smoke and / or give themselves kidney stones for the sake of writing.

🍒 i'm decently selective about my stories, in the sense of if i truly cannot connect or find influence to write, i won't. i can't. so i've been doing better about if a plot doesn't flow the way i want, i try not to force it and embrace the new direction. 🍒 HOWEVER - i still like to challenge myself, so, if i find writing has become like pulling teeth, i'll walk away and revisit at another time. i'll try to tackle from a different angle BEFORE giving up completely. yikes.

🍒 being said, walk away when writing feels frustrating and exasperated.

🍒 real life experience is your friend - "write what you know".

🍒 i'm criminally insecure and don't use beta readers nor editors so i rawdog every story and audience reaction. but i hear they're wildly helpful!!! do what feels right!!! it's your art!!!

🍒 skeleton drafts

when in school, teachers, professors, educators might have students structure essays as a "draft". maybe they asked for paragraphs to be organized in a certain way - intro., x3 body paragraphs, conclusion, bibliography - and more specifically, the paragraph structure: opening sentence stating summarized opinion / reason for thesis support, supporting specifics that explain the thesis, and then conclude on a summary of why the listed support supports the thesis.

whatever it is, i don't adhere to some parameters. i've always pissed off my educators because my "working drafts" never made sense, but whatever "final draft" turned in for a grade, did! make it make sense!

so i use "skeleton drafts".

it's where i try to outline the main ideas of my plot to ensure i tell the story i originally thought of. think of these as "plot points", almost like the ribcage of a skeleton. then i add certain supporting details between these ribs; the meat of the story.

i like getting the majority of the story outlined. i use bullet points, i try to use "dividers" or "headers" if i need a time jump, but i want the general idea down so that it's easier to add onto later if i so choose.

so, yeah, i don't "draft" as some American educators might approve of. the actual process is too tedious and i hate it. but that's just me. other authors MIGHT recommend traditional drafting, but i won't. i say do what feels natural to you, but still find a way to rewrite the story you want until it BECOMES the story you want.

"skeleton drafts" establish the plot and pose as major pillars to help propel the story's flow. "skeleton drafts" are like a check list: being the plot points framing the story's structure, as well as details (no matter how small) the story needs.

being said - using skeleton drafts results in a few different draft / note pages in different places so tread carefully. it can get very confusing and annoying, so, it's not for everyone. i'm just chaotic and all my writings are like a tornado.

i hope this helps in even the slightest of ways. thank you for sending your message - again, i'm deeply flattered. i apologize it took so long to respond but i was doubting myself and what to write.

listen, poppet. keep writing. try, try again. challenge yourself. and the VERY best of luck! i hope you fall in love with writing, and in turn, it falls in love with you!

come back anytime! if you so desire, please, send me whatever you write - i'd love to read it!

endless forehead kisses and all my love 🖤

[johaerys-writes]

Get to know me

I was tagged by @baejax-the-great, thank you so much pal! 

Share your wallpaper: My phone background for the past six months or so has been the same Patrochilles art that I'm actually not sure if I should post here without permission from the artist lol. But I can confirm that it's the cutest, most loveliest drawing of them, and Achilles looks so baby in it and I love staring at it every time I open up my phone :')

The last song you listened to: Unbound by Asgeir

Currently Reading:  Ten Days That Shook The World by John Reed (don't ask why or how, but my autistic Special Interest of choice for the past 2-3 weeks has been the political intrigue surrounding WWI and how it fuelled the October Revolution so I've been reading any book/watching any documentary I can get my hands on about it), and I've also been listening to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath while doing chores and stuff

Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once with @baejax-the-great

Craving: Travel :|

What are you wearing right now: My fluffiest house robe and my fluffy slippers and super comfy and soft socks, and yes I'm still in pyjamas 

How tall are you: 167 cm, no idea how that translates in feet and inches lol don't make me google it

Piercings: I have one piercing in each ear, I've often thought about getting more but needles be scary 

Tattoos: 6, and planning to finish my half sleeve by the end of the year

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, and I do sometimes wear contacts as well

Last drink: I am currently drinking some lukewarm coffee with oat milk :3

Last show: In the past couple years I've become so bad with starting shows and actually sticking with them lol, but I did do a rewatch of Neon Genesis Evangelion fairly recently..... OH and I watched Interview with the Vampire with @baejax-the-great a little while back which was super fun!! (because apparently I can't watch something unless I can shit talk or go feral over it with Bae LOL)

Last thing you ate: Toast with peanut butter and an apple

Favourite colour: Oooh that's such a hard question to answer!! The first colour that comes to mind is blue -- I always gravitate towards some version of blue, and currently it's deep navy blue, but I also own a lot of powder blue stuff. It's either that or baby pink or cream tbh, but I also own a good amount of gold/mustard things as well. Yellow makes me happy. I find jewel green incredibly pretty though I weirdly don't own anything of that colour (which reminds me I should perhaps make that a priority)

Current obsession: I'm guessing this is a fandom related question, so I'm going to be predictable and say that I'm, as usual, obsessed with Patrochilles and most of the other pairings I am currently writing, even though anxiety over real life stuff hasn't let me engage with them as much as I want lately. I do think about them a lot and have lots of ideas for new stories, and I'm also working my way back into catching up with fics I love, which I haven't been able to do in a while despite the joy it normally gives me. Brains can be very uncooperative at times, but what can you do about it lol. 

Unrelated Obsession: As I mentioned earlier I have been obsessed with Russian and generally European politics of the early 20th century for some weird ass reason lmao, but I've also been reading an in-depth analysis of Aeschylus' life and work I found in some corner of my library, which led me to looking up some academic papers about it, which led me to signing up for an online course about Athenian tragedy, so um?? I don't know what it is with me and going down those endless rabbit holes lately ahah. 

Any pets: I have a cat, aka a baby and a bastard and a devil spawn all wrapped in one (he is currently sleeping like an angel after attempting to tear down the curtains)

Do you have a crush on anyone: Um. Like, on a real life person? A fictional person? I do have crushes on several of my mutuals so if y'all are reading it I'm kissing you on the forehead MWAH

Favourite fictional character: I can't choose, don't make me choose!!!!!!! I can't choose between my children. But if I had to choose then maybe.... Patroclus? But also, Achilles? But also, my OC Tristan Trevelyan and Dorian Pavus from DA? But also Shiro and Keith from VLD? But also -- SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE

The last place you traveled: It feels like it's been SO long since I've traveled anywhere. I went to Aegina island last summer but since then I haven't been outside the city for even a DAY and it's been driving me crazy. I just need to see some green and blue and listen to nothing but birds or waves or the wind (at this point I'll even take the rooster that woke me up EVERY DAMN MORNING when I was in Aegina lmao). I'm planning on going on a day trip to Mycenae soon though so I'm very excited about that 😄

Tagging forth to @in-arlathan, @mogwaei, @tessa1972, @aymayzing, @inquisitoracorn, @tevivinter, @elveny, @pikapeppa, @petrowriting @peggy-sue-reads-a-book @juliafied, @vimlos, @gloriesunsung, @figsandphiltatos, @gwensparlour, @glimmerofgold, @sabino-sea, and so many more of my mutuals that I'm actually too shy to tag here. But seriously if you're reading this and it looks fun please do it and tag me, I'm nosy and I want to know everything about you LOL  

[scottspack]

LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES......: UNTAMED FIC REC PART 5

WELL HOWDY YALL! HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE! In my last fic rec, published on February 12, 2021, I made a joke about how one day I would get a job and wouldn’t be able to read 856 fics a day. I started another fic rec on April 21, 2021, and then promptly got my job back in early May, causing the fic rec to remain abandonded in my google docs for a year and a half. In that time I’ve moved across the country, settled in a new city, stanned BTS, and had many incredible professional and personal opportunities. And where has all of that brought me? Right back to untamed fic, apparently. This past week i got the itch and have been consuming untamed fic at unprecedented rates, which has inspired me to blow the e-dust off of my abandoned untamed fic rec, add in the shit i’ve read since then, and present it to you; anyone who still cares about the untamed in November 2022! (But mostly this is for @kerasines​, who enouraged me to do this, and @jlf23tumble​, who all of my fic recs are for, always.)

The rules to this rec are the same, but since it’s been a minute: these are in no particular order, they’re mostly wangxian, my favorites are marked with asterisks, and if you read any of these you are contractually obligated to come discuss them with me.

[jungkook bts voice] let’s get it!

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (Wangxian, E, 66k) ***

Wei Wuxian travels to Lanling for his nephew’s one-month celebration alone, without Wen Ning.

Lan Wangji lives with the consequences.

Canon divergence au where lwj ends up joining the wen settlement and things play out differently from there. OKAY. Okay. I think this might be the last of the Really Big Fics in the fandom that I put off reading for whatever reason and GOD. DAMN. I should not have put off reading this. There is a reason this fic is Big and it’s because its SO GOOD!!!! One of those fics where every single chapter had me gasping out loud, crying real tears, and re-reading full paragraphs bc they were so GOOD. AHHHH!

2022 note: Some of these fics i havent returned to in the year and half since i was ass-deep in the untamed fandom. This is not one of those fics. This is a true, bonafide Classic that I’ve reread multiple times, and been impressed by every single time.

Last note: it wouldn’t be me if i didnt embarrass myself fully in a fic rec, but this author also has an absolutely AMAZING bts namgi fic if that’s something you’re into...actually...all of their bts fics are incredible...

Still in the Water by airgeer (Jin Ling & Lan Sizhui, background Wangxian, T, 45k)

A year after Jin Ling's early succession to the position of Sect Leader, a letter is delivered to him under strange circumstances. A night-hunt follows.

Hanguang-Jun shook his head, and played again. This time, the response was slower, almost coy.

“What did it say?” Jin Ling asked.

“Hanguang-Jun asked what it was doing here,” Lan Sizhui translated. “The response was ‘Waiting.’”

HOLY SHIT. this fic…..is bonkers. It’s another extremely interesting and action-packed case fic. Written in Jin Ling’s perspective, strange forces have been gathering the sect leaders to a strange town where they have to solve a mystery. When i tell you, this fic was the first ever untamed fic to made me cry for non-romance related reasons. It’s SO intense, and SO high-stakes my hands were literally SWEATING reading this shit. 10/10, would let it give me a panic attack again.

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (Wangxian, E, 55k)

(A talking-head interview. JIN ZIXUN, 36, entrepreneur.)

JZX: Oh, yeah, he’s a fucking catch, alright. He’s rich, he’s hot, he’s a Lan. Like, he’s been ranked number two among the local bachelors for years, and now that his brother’s seeing someone, he’s number one, right? So, yeah, of course I want to win.

Offscreen voice: Do you know anything else about him, besides that he’s rich and hot?

JZX: (shrugging) What else is there to know?

In which Lan Wangji agrees, reluctantly, to be The Bachelor, only to fall in love with Wei Wuxian, his cameraman/producer. Can the Bachelor find his way to a happy ending? And will The Bachelor: Lan Wangji be a ratings hit?

UM LMFAO!!!!!!!! Have I ever watched the bachelor in my entire life? Absolutely not. Was this au well written, thoughtfully planned out, and extremely interesting enough to make me not care? Yes oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!! I fully screamed through the entirety of this fic because it was so FUN! 

too much, not enough by Shamelesscooper (Wei Wuxian/Jiang Cheng, E, 14k) 

“Okay, so good news!” Wei Wuxian says, swanning into the room with just enough energetic cheer that Jiang Cheng knows whatever it is he’s going to say is going to be awful. “We figured out the nature of your curse! You’re probably not going to die! It’s not even going to hurt!”

“Yeah? And what’s the bad news?” Jiang Cheng gruffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

Wei Wuxian does a double-take, like he’d expected his (fake) good mood to fool Jiang Cheng. Like it’s ever managed to fool Jiang Cheng. His laugh is a little shrill, a little frenetic as he says, “Well, uh. You know our ghost friend back there? Yeah, she’s possessing you. Which is why...” He makes a gesture at the general area of Jiang Cheng’s... problem.

“Ah,” Jiang Cheng said, expression souring. “I’m not going to like the cure, am I?”

“You’re not going to like the cure,” Wei Wuxian nods.

-

Jiang Cheng gets cursed on a nighthunt. Wei Wuxian helps him with the cure.

It’s not one of my fic recs if there isn’t at least one (1) fic i feel deeply ashamed for reccing. Here’s that fic for this rec! Post-canon Jiang Cheng gets hit with a sex curse and wangxian, who are married, agree that wwx is the best one to help him out. This was very well written and made me very emotional and i’m always a sucker for yunmeng bros reconciliation, even if it’s in a form that could get me hashtag canceled.

Three Days and a Morning by snickersnacker (Wangxian, E, 14k)

“Do you know how annoying you are sometimes?” Lan Wangji asked, not unplayfully.

Wei Wuxian beamed. “Do you know how stodgy you are sometimes?” he replied.

“How stodgy was this?” Lan Wangji said with a tiny smirk, referring to what they’d just done together in bed.

Wei Wuxian conceded the point. “This has to be against at least one of your rules,” he replied.

Lan Wangji looked suddenly serious. “There are no rules against love.”

---

Between the lines of episodes 42-43, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji return to Cloud Recesses and finally figure things out.

Another episode 43 canon-divergence au that i really really enjoyed! Highlights of this one include wangxian crying about how much they love each other and a very fun sex scene, both of which are just *chefs kiss*

Let's take a ride round the curves of desire by feyburner (Wangxian, E, 5k)

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

I’m still mad at feyburner for starting that really good wangxian star trek au and then never finishing it, BUT. this sweet little wlw!wangxian ficlet asuages the anger in my heart just a little bit.

2022 note: THE WANGXIAN STAR TREK AU HAS BEEN FINISHED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i will be soft in your heart by martyrsdaughter (Juniors OT4, E, 11k)

"You've been sitting on this," he said, "for five years? A little warning would be nice!" 

Sizhui's responding look was somehow both wicked and absolutely serene. Jingyi saw some of Zewu-Jun in it, which made him just... unfair. Unjust! Ridiculous! So attractive he once again wondered why he'd ever been invited to this relationship. Zizhen was there for moral support, obviously, and because he was too sweet to resist. Jingyi offered little of that.

"I didn't think you were unaware," Sizhui pointed out, as though he were merely reminding him of a pressing appointment. "After our last visit to Koi Tower, did you not ask me to, quote, 'fuck you until you forgot what Jin Ling's forearms look like'?" 

I can’t believe this is the first ever juniors foursome fic i've ever come across bc the material is RIGHT there, but it’s fine bc i've found it now! General plot is Jingyi/Sizhui/Zizhen have all been in a throuple for a while and finally get Jin Ling to join and it’s very cute and sweet and i love all my cute sweet boys!

The Ritual by nightwalker (Wangxian, E, 12k)

Lan Xichen asks Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to participate in a ritual for the protection of the Cloud Recesses. There may be some ulterior motives going on.

Wangxian have semi-not-really-public sex for the greater good of the Gusu Lan, as you do.

Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo (Wangxian, E, 16k)

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says carefully, "do you truly not know you have been speaking?"

Lan Wangji claps a hand to his mouth and, to his horror, feels his mouth opening to answer despite having no intention to do so. Clamping it shut again takes a great effort.

OR

The one where Lan Wangji can't stop talking, and a mild amount of chaos ensues.

I bet you were like “damn, this far into a fic rec from liv and not a SINGLE post-canon-get-together-via-a-curse fic?” YOU FOOL. here it is! Lwj gets cursed to speak his mind! Three guesses as to what’s on lwj’s mind :)

can’t turn off what turns me on by sophiahelix (Yizhan, E, 2k)

The phone screen goes black, and he lies next to Yibo, feeling like he’s been turned inside out. As far as porn goes, it was barely even explicit, but the intimacy of the scene and knowing it’s something Yibo likes enough to watch over and over have left him stunned, not sure what to do next.

At long last, Xiao Zhan licks his lips. “That’s — what you want?”

It was so simple, but he can tell Yibo’s embarrassed as he clears his throat and mutters, “yeah.”

YIZHAN! For whatever reason, this smutty little yizhan one shot has stayed on. my. mind. And i’m not even someone who’s big into daddy kink. The power of sophiahelix i guess! WAIT SPEAKING OF…

yesterday, tomorrow by sophiahelix (Yizhan, E, 80k) ***

Before he’s even finished reading, Xiao Zhan knows this is the script, the one that could alter the course of his career. Not like Chen Qing Ling changed his life six years ago, catapulting him from a minor idol to a household name, or the way his more serious roles have slowly taken him to the upper echelons of dramatic actors. This is a love story, daring and bold, groundbreaking and unforgettable, if only he’s brave enough to do it.

So of course, eventually, they bring up the idea of casting Yibo as his lover.

In the summer of 2025, Xiao Zhan and Yibo reunite as the leads in a gay indie film, bringing their complicated offscreen history with them—and secret hopes of making things right.

AUTHOR SOPHIAHELIX DESERVES A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR THIS FIC. yo……. YO……. The premise is that yizhan are back together to film a gay indie movie where they play lovers SO IM SURE YOU CAN GUESS WHERE THIS IS GOING. Boy howdy. This might damn well be one of my favorite fics of all time. I know some people aren’t into super long fics but if ever there were one i would urge you to give a shot, it’s this one. *lady gaga voice* talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular

2022 note: a year and a half later and i still think about this fic CONSTANTLY. i just think.......2025........it could happen.........

Pins and Needles by kisahawklin (Wangxian/Wen Ning, E, 7k)

Wei Wuxian works out how to give Wen Ning various sensory experiences. Of course this was always going to lead to sex.

It’s my fic rec and i’ll rec wangxian/wen ning fic if i want!!!!!!! I just think there’s nothing wrong with Wen Ning being appreciated in the way he deserves! Wen Ning stans make some NOISE!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky man by Onomatopoetikon (Wangxian, E, 3k)

“They really wore you down this time, huh, Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying asks as he removes the elaborate headpieces from Lan Wangji’s hair after dinner, his nimble fingers unlocking clasps and unpinning needles.

“Mn” he agrees, almost falling asleep already. “Good to be home.”

“It’s good to have you home” Wei Ying says, running his fingers through Lan Wangji’s freed hair and planting a kiss at the crown of his head. “Good to have you where I can take care of you.”

---

Lan Wangji returns home after some particularly exhausting Chief Cultivator duties. Luckily, Wei Ying takes care of him.

Just a lil tender love and pwp ! I think it’s nice for lwj to have a nice time with his husband who he’s very much in love with. Feels good on my heartstrings!

with intent by Lirazel (Wangxian, E, 10k)

Under other circumstances, it would make no sense for a healthy young cultivator’s golden core to be overwhelmed by mere cold, much less for qi infusions to be fruitless. But these caves and the tunnels that connect them are no ordinary place. This attack on Wei Ying--because that’s what it has to be--is intentional: this place, suffused with the presence of Lan Wangji’s ancestors, is attacking the presence of a stranger as automatically as a guard attacks a thief in the night.

The forehead ribbon isn’t enough.

After wangxian handfast in the cold pond cave to get past the Lan ancestors, lwj realizes that just tying their hands wasnt enough, they have to consummate their fake marriage :)

The dreamers. by orange_crushed (Wangxian, E, 17k) ***

“Stop mothering me,” Wei Ying protests. “Why don’t you ever listen?” He scowls at Wangji, but then the lure of the clean water is too much; he sits grumbling and strips off his vambraces and loosens the collar of his robes and wipes himself down in the steam. Wangji sits on a stool and watches him, and after a while Wei Ying slaps the rag into the bowl and glares back. “Are you going to sit and stare the whole time?” he demands. “You want to see me strip naked and give my filthy evil self a good scrubbing, huh?”

Yes, Wangji thinks.

[This is a story about a horrible war and a beautiful dream; about grabbing happiness where you can find it, and not letting go.]

An EXTREMELY interesting canon-divergence au where wangxian use a mindlinking spell early on in their relationship to fight better together but the connection between them is too strong and the spell doesn’t dissipate so they stay linked through the rest of canon. This one also had me gasping out loud on multiple occasions. 

2022 note: this has been a Frequently Revisited Fic over the past year and a half, it is just as shocking and intriguing every single time!

From my heart's ground. by orange_crushed (Wangxian, E, 38k)

After a while he can feel a palm against his face, gentle fingers soft and soothing. It’s not real, not exactly: he can tell the difference between a ghost’s touch and a living person’s, between a spirit-vision and an overactive imagination. His education has been thorough. But the beating has also been thorough, so for now he forgets what he knows and leans into it, into the hand cupping his cheek. It’s soft and dry as those forgotten petals, as the touch of a pillow. He can smell wildflowers, can taste blood and dirt. My baby, his mother says, and he closes his eyes. My treasure. He barely remembers the sound of her voice, but the feeling of it is just the same. Just the same as ever.

[In which Lan Wangji loses almost everything, plants a garden, and grows a second chance.]

Holy fucking shit, i just realized that this one and the last one are by the same person. Author orange_crush has an absolute GIFT for mind-boggling canon-divegence aus oh my GOD. This one is lwj post-wwx’s death discovering some of his mother’s old things in the jingyi and using them to extremely surprising results. I think about how crazy and brilliant this fic is literally all of the time. Insanity. I love it. 

bless my soul (i'm losing control) by aroceu (Wangxian, E, 31k) ***

Wei Wuxian returns from the Burial Mounds as a vampire.

WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN. A full canon-divergence au following vampire wwx post-burial mounds. I’ll give you one guess as to who offers to be his lil juice box :) Little known fact about me, i LOVE a good vampire au, and am frankly astounded that this is the first one i've come across for wangxian, but i’m not complaining bc this one fucking SLAPS. I’ve read it three times.

2022 update: i’ve read this WAY more than three times at this point

Brilliant Mistake by brooklinegirl (Wangxian, E, 53k) ***

"Fine," Wen Qing says, turning back to Wei Ying. "You're pregnant."

Lan Zhan feels his mouth drop open and has to work to shut it.

Wei Ying reacts not at all. He's swinging his feet where he's sitting on the table, a bored expression on his face.

Wen Qing just looks at him. "I am not joking about that."

Wei Ying stops swinging his feet. He blinks several times in a row. "Wait," he says.

Or:

I woke up at 3AM and sent myself an email that just said:

Modern cultivation friends curse sexy pollen hook up desperate WWX gets pregnant

And then I wrote it. In three weeks. IDK.

[deep shuddering inhale] MY NEW FAVORITE FIC, BITCH!!!!!!!! Remember back when i was like “omg so weird that i read a wangxian mpreg au, i’m never into mpreg aus.” and “omg so weird that i read a wangxian modern au, i’m almost never into modern aus” well when i’m wrong, i’m wrong. If brooklinegirl wants to write a modern cultivation mpreg curse fic then OF COURSE I WILL READ IT. What i didnt expect was for it to be so good that i read it FIVE (5) more times. But sometimes that’s just how life goes. If you’ll excuse me, i’m going to go read this again. 

2022 note: according to ao3 I’ve now read this FOURTEEN TIMES. So. If that’s not my gold stamp of approval on a fucking mpreg fic, idk what is. Life is full of surprises.

like the paradise found by occultings (Wangxian, E, 4k)

It isn’t often Lan Zhan finds herself at strip clubs.

If i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times: madame occultings can do no wrong in my eyes. A modern wlw!wangxian au where wwx is a stripper and lwj has a gift card. Let the congregation say amen.

a history of the body by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 14k)

Wei Ying's body hurts sometimes; she lets Lan Zhan help her.

A fic about the complicated nature of having a body, and also the versatility of sex toys.

A nice little wlw!wangxian modern au where they get together and have nice sex about it. Chicken soup for the soul.

A Sure Thing by mrsronweasley (Wangxian, E, 95k)

The message says, I require exclusive commitment as well as flexibility. You may spend the night, but not always. I will be the one to keep the schedule of our meetings.

Wei Ying crunches on a chip thoughtfully, then takes a deep breath and writes back, What do I get in return?

This was a trip and a half. A modern au (who am i) where lwj becomes wwx’s sugar daddy. Another instance of “if mrsronweasley (2022 note: who now goes by vesna??? how long have i been gone...) writes it, i will come.” Who am I to turn my nose up at 95k of excellent writing and delicious pining from the queen herself?

all I find is you by daltoneering (Wangxian, E, 10k)

There’s some cruel irony at work here, that the only inn for days would be off-limits to him. It has been months now that he’s been travelling, months since the last rays of sunlight brushed a Gusu mountaintop golden and he wrenched himself away and out into the world, months since he’s seen—well. What are months compared to years. What are years compared to a lifetime.

;

Wei Wuxian has been on the road for months, without a conscious end goal in sight. He isn’t expecting to find what he was looking for in a fully-booked-out inn in the back of beyond.

God is good but a 436th soft and tender post-canon get-together fic is better! This fic has it all: a chance meeting, a fully booked in, BED SHARING, lan wangji with braided hair, the works!

i'm the one for your fire by occultings (Wangxian, E, 43k) ***

Wei Ying, virgin and noted heterosexual, gets hit with a curse of an unusual nature on his 30th birthday — through physical contact, he can read the minds of others around him.

Enter Lan Zhan, hot former rival and current coworker, whose true thoughts about Wei Ying are nothing like he expects. (A loose Cherry Magic AU)

This is a modern au based off of a show that i think is japanese, but im not 100% sure, that’s about a curse where if youre a virgin when you turn 30 you can read people’s mind by touching them, which is an INFINITELY fun premise, so imagine my fucking delight when i realized this was written by MADAME OCCULTINGS!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!!! This fic is so fucking good, another one i've read multiple times already. I may have to formally rescind my statement that i don't read modern aus.

2022 update: this fic has become such a STAPLE to me that i was genuinely shocked to have found it on this unfinished fic rec. READ THIS SHIT!!!!!!! (Also I absolutely have to rescind my no-modern au stadnpoint. I do in fact love a good modern au now. People change!)

flux by SugarMilkTea (Wangxian, E, 60k)

When Wei Ying receives a strange figurine in a rural Gusu village, he thinks nothing of it. Ten months later, he finds himself walking a familiar path.

Ten months spent on the road. Ten months away from Lan Zhan. Ten months after they parted on that ridge in Gusu, Wei Ying comes home.

Another DOOZY of a post-canon-get-together-via-a-case fic. This time there are body swaps. There are ancient deities. There are strange old ladies. I read this feverishly in one sitting bc every single chapter i was like “wait WHAT.” Good good case fic antics.

2022 note: I went to link to the author’s ao3 and they have ORPHANED THIS FIC!!!!! the passage of time is cruel and ruthless.......

Pull out game weak by 74243 (Wangxian, E, 23k) ***

Wei Ying swipes right.

2022 note: i deleted my entire comment on this fic because it simply did not come close to expressing the cultural impact of ao3 user 74243. They showed up at the end of 2020. Wrote some of the filthiest lesbian wangcxian smut fics ive ever read. And then disappeared at the end of 2021. This fic in particular is my favorite of theirs, but honestly if you read it and are into it, i highly reccommend checking out all of their works. i..... [sweats]

Superfan by 74243 (Wangxian, E, 19k) ***

“I’m not going to apologize for my job,” Wei Ying said, “so if you want to give me some kind of lecture--”

“No,” Lan Zhan said. “You misunderstood. I am...” she paused, as if considering the best way to put it. “I’m a fan.”

Okay actually im also going to specifically throw this one on here bc its my other fave of theirs and ive read it...many times. This author kicked off what i can only refer to as a dyke lan zhan renaissance that has truly stood the test of time.

OKAY SO. There are the 26 fics that I had on my fic rec back in April 2021. INSANE. I was sitting on gold! Despite not keeping up with fic recs, i have actually read a fair amount of untamed fic over the time i’ve been gone, and especially in the last week, SO HERE THEY ARE! [OPRAH VOICE] YOU GET A FIC! YOU GET A FIC! YOU ALL GET FICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

miss me once the thrill expires by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 12k)

“Lan Zhan, explain one thing to me,” Wei Ying says as they make their way through the woods. “What is it about people saying, don’t go into the abandoned, potentially evil shrine, that makes teenagers immediately go into the abandoned, potentially evil shrine?”

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan team up to investigate a curse. It doesn't go quite according to plan.

i HAVE to start with the fic that kicked off my untamed fic rennaissance! my favorite untamed author, madame idrilka, recently started posting all of her fics on tumblr with fun graphics and to my utter surprise 1. i was already following her and 2. SHE POSTED A FIC I HAD NEVER READ BEFORE!!! if there’s any proof that god is good all the time, its idrilka posting a modern cultivation get-together-via-a-curse au. *chefs kiss until my fingers fall off* i owe you my life!

Better When We're Together by emmagrant01 (Jingyi/Sizhui, E, 64k) ***

In a universe where Wei Wuxian did not leave the Burial Mounds after settling there with the Wens and managed to live peacefully ever after, Jingyi grows up in the Cloud Recesses alone. Then one day, Hanguang-jun takes him to meet an old friend, and the course of Jingyi’s life changes.

OKAY SO. One of my favorite fics of all time is this 285k behemoth of an omgcp fic that genuinely is one of my most well-written and amazing pieces of fiction that ive ever read. so IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when i went to check in on miss emmagrant01 and found that she’s WRITING UNTAMED FIC NOW!!!! GOD. IS. GOOD. ALL. THE. TIME. this fic yall.........i truly cant sing it’s praises enough. there is so so so much good shit here. sizhui being raised more fully by wwx, jingyi being raised by wwx, childhood friends to lovers, wen qing is there. it has the works. PROMISE ME YOU WILL READ THIS FIC AHHHHHH

good friends by plonk (Wangxian/Nie Mingjue, E, 11k)

“I could invite her over for when the game’s done,” Nie Mingjue offers.

Lan Zhan hums, considering it.

They do that sometimes. Take omegas down together.

now listen.........like i said. ao3 user 74243 kicked off a dyke lan zhan era in untamed fic. and my most controversial love-to-hate author plonk wrote this fic FOR ao3 user 74243. is it a modern au? yes. is it also a fucking abo au? yes. have i read it many times bc im gay and it’s hot? WE DONT NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!! read it or dont, im not your mother! gosh!

Wrong to Say by easilyexcited (Wangxian, E, 5k)

When Wei Wuxian starts talking about how small his own dick is, Lan Wangji is...confused.

i actually found this fic for an anon of Jen’s recently and remembered that i liked it! not to pretend this is anything other than smut, but there are some fairly interesting character study bits for a 5k fic about wwx’s degradation kink

A storm without a warning by Spodumene (Wangxian, E, 22k) ***

Wei Ying loves his life. He wouldn't change a thing.

Change is like a storm. It comes anyway.

UGH man. this fic. talk about fics that made my hands sweat and my stomach flip from the sheer levels of YEARNING AND LONGING. realizing right here right now that this rec will have the most modern aus of any of them. oh how the turntables!

My stranger in the dark by becka (Wangxian, E, 20k)

Wei Ying, bartender at the Unclean Realm nightclub, likes making small talk with mysterious and beautiful Lan Zhan when she comes to the bar. It's a little bit of shock to find out that her favorite customer is a vampire involved in a fight for the safety of the club.

ANOTHER modern au, but this time they’re lesbians and lwj is a vampire. the spice of life!

bend me back, send me flying by  occultings (Wangxian, E, 9k)

It takes longer than it usually would for Wei Wuxian to catch on; the waiter’s mortified, flushed face, the couple with their hands under each other’s robes. The unusual warmth in his belly he has thus far, this evening, chalked up to his feelings for Lan Wangji.

“Oh!” Wei Wuxian says when the realization strikes him. It hits him so strangely that he hears himself laugh, even though the situation isn’t funny. Maybe it will be, someday. But tonight, he — oh.

—

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get served the wrong pot of tea.

Newly married wangxian + aphrodisiac tea + madame occultings writing = *chefs kiss*

No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (Wangxian, E, 36k)

The old woman looks at Lan Zhan. "What's his name?"

Lan Zhan looks down at the man's pale, slack face, and presses his own hand against the cut, trying to staunch the blood flow with his glove. "Wei Ying," he says without thinking about it.

The man stirs slightly in his arms, his eyes blinking open for a moment. "Oh," he says faintly. "It's you."

Lan Zhan stares down at him, the stranger in his arms, whose name is Wei Ying. Which is something Lan Zhan knows. How does he know that? How does—he can't—this isn't—

"It's okay," Wei Ying says, reaching up to pat vaguely at Lan Zhan's face. "It's all—" His eyes slip closed again and he's limp in Lan Zhan's arms.

modern soulmate au that was VERY intersting and engaging! that’s love bitch!

sweet talker by vesna (Wangxian, E, 19k)

There's an unfamiliar middle blocker on the opposite team, one they've played a thousand times. "I've never seen her before." And Wei Ying is pretty sure she would have remembered her.

"That? I don't know her name, I think she's new to the team." Wen Qing assesses the woman. "I bet she's trouble. Look at how tall she is."

Well, yeah, she's a middle blocker. Wei Ying bets her height is what got her the position. She's tall and she's, like…super cool. Her dark hair is pulled up into a tiny pony at the crown, revealing an undercut underneath, and she's lean and muscular. She must notice Wei Ying's gaze on her because she shifts where she's looking and looks directly at Wei Ying. Wei Ying grins and waves, but the woman just skitters her gaze elsewhere, pursing her mouth. Hmph. Well. Rude.

When i said there was a modern au dyke lwj renaissance, i meant it! even vesna, aka fandom great mrsronweasley, jumped on the trend to AMAZING results. this made me sweat. when will dyke lwj dick ME down???

Let's Get Real, Baby by vesna (Wangxian, E, 22k)

If Wei Ying had been asked “what sort of pajamas does Lan Zhan wear to bed?” her answer might have been: something utilitarian, like shorts and a t-shirt. Or maybe a set of striped pajamas, like the kind grandpas wear. It would never, in a million years, have occurred to her to say “a slinky silky lacy cami and tiny shorts set,” but that is what she is currently staring—gaping—at as Lan Zhan makes her way from the bathroom to her side of the hotel room.

oh ho ho ANOTHER modern wlw wangxian au by the former mrsronweasley! not dyke lwj particularly, more girl boss powersuit lwj, but it still hits!

give me one good honest kiss by occultings (Wangxian, E, 16k)

The text keeps flashing over and over in Lan Zhan's head like the bulb lights on a marquee. They’d been talking about homework directly before that, swapping notes on music theory in the baroque period. Then, like a fork of lightning out of a clear blue sky: wanna practice kissing? 😚

—

Wei Ying suggests an arrangement. Lan Zhan, in love, deals.

i guess this is the modern wlw wangxian au rec????? the further back i get in my ao3 history the more i realize that the bulk of wangxian fic i’ve read in the last year and a half has been wlw shit. im not complaining!!!!! this one was great, STEEPED in gay pining! delicioso!

mercy, tear it down. by orange_crushed (Wangxian, E, 31k)

“You want me to call you good?” Wangji says. “To make you feel good?” Wei Ying makes a wretched, soft, surprised sound in the back of his throat. “Then will you be good?”

“Uh,” Wei Ying says. His lashes flick down again, nervously. “Good how?”

Wangji hasn’t quite thought that far ahead.

i really like this fic!!! wangxian fall into a bdsm relationship after wwx comes back Wrong from the burial mounds, then evolves into a pretty interesting canon divergence fic. ive reread this a couple times bc the tension is great and this author has such interesting ideas about canon divergent elements!

Love Don't Belong To Me by airinshaw (Wangxian, E, 29k) ***

Ten years ago Wei Ying was forced to disappear from his own life, changing his name and hiding from everyone he loved. Then on his birthday he runs into Nie Huaisang, who invites himself to Wei Ying's birthday party.

The clash of old and new lives freaks Wei Ying out, and he ends up drunkenly agreeing to call Lan Zhan to tell him that he was the love of his life.

But now that Lan Zhan has contact details for Wei Ying, he won't let it go.

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. THIS FIC. like the summary says this is a modern no-magic au where wwx disappears for 10 years to start a new life and then drunkenly hits lwj up one night. i cant emphasize how much every part of this fic was a punch to the gut, had me gasping, crying, screaming, throwing up, etc etc! ive reread this so many times bc its just SO emotional!!!! AH!

estuaries by vesna (Wangxian, E, 34k)

Wei Ying's back is to him, but Lan Zhan would know him anywhere. His hair is tied into a low ponytail, messy, as always. It's longer now than it was three years ago, snaking down his back, ending just above his shoulder blades. With him is a child—a boy—who's holding onto his hand and looking up at him with his eyebrows furrowed, one finger stuck in his mouth.

Lan Zhan feels utterly foolish peeking from behind a display case at them, but he's rooted to the spot. He cannot move.

another modern no-magic au! this one is pretty angsty but it has a happy ending and i love a kid fic so this one got me good!

got your way with me by vesna (Wangxian, E, 51k)

It doesn't hit Wei Ying until the third time it happens. In his defense, he's not running on all cylinders, and definitely only on four hours of sleep. So if all he's noticed about the guy sharing the elevator with him for the third time in two weeks is his hotness, who can really blame him?

But now that he's looking a bit more closely, as the guy stares resolutely at the number display ticking up, he sees the telltale signs: slightly rumpled collar on an otherwise pristine outfit, bags under his eyes—not so noticeable that they are instantly apparent, but there if you look closely enough—kiss-bitten lips, and (the most damning evidence of all) a hickey blooming just under his ear.

This guy is coming back from a hookup of his own.

we’re in modern no-magic au mode okay, but this time its a fwb au! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I Wish You Would by brooklinegirl (Wangxian, E, 52k)

Lan Zhan takes a breath. His hands are in fists on his thighs. He stares down at them hopelessly, then carefully unclenches them, one finger at a time, before taking another breath and reaching for his lukewarm tea. He'll go out, tomorrow. Maybe in the late afternoon. Something quick. Something easy. He'll text his brother first, the short note of when he should be home, so he'll know to track him. He'll be fine, just like he said.

i think this might be the last of the modern no-magic aus i have for this part! in this one wwx finds out that his long term boy best friend lwj FUCKS and it sends him into a late in life gay sprial. love it!

Not What We May Be by brooklinegirl (Wangxian, E, 30k) ***

It's Lan Zhan, standing tall, his hand gripping his sword. Has his hairpiece gotten even more elaborate? Or has Wei Wuxian just forgotten how stately it is? He's at the forefront of the group of Lan cultivators and if the pulsing darkness pushes Wei Wuxian's eyes away, then Lan Zhan draws them like there's nothing else worthy of looking at.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head at himself. He's been on the road too long. He's thinking in lines of poetry.

back to my origins, this is a really really really good case fic. another one where the case plot is intriguing and engaging and the wangxian plot is VERY sweet and romantic and satisfying. as far as case fics go this gets a 10/10 gold star!

Give Me a Chance to Fall by brooklinegirl (Wangxian, E, 38k)

Jiang Cheng just blows his breath out and rolls his eyes right back at Wei Wuxian. "Stop being an asshole," he says. "You're lucky this is being set up for you. Do you know how many people would die--literally die--to get the chance to be betrothed to Lan Wangji?"

"Betrothed." Wei Wuxian rolls the word around in his mouth. "It even sounds stupid."

Or, an arranged marriage canon-divergent fic where the war doesn't happen, the golden core loss doesn't happen, but Jiang Fengmian and Madame Yu still die, Jiang Cheng is the sect leader, and Lan Wangji is still called Hanguang-jun because, well, look at him.

okay i already KNEW brooklinegirl is a powerhouse in the fandom and has written many of my favorite untamed fics but i just realized the last two fics and a couple other in this rec were ALSO by her, CMON QUEEEEEEN! love that she can write diverse many different types of stories and they’re all so interesting and emotional and engaging. this is my little love letter to a03 author brooklinegirl. ANYWAYS this fic is a no-war wangxian betrothal au that made me blush multiple times because it was SO sweet and romantic and i had an absolute blast reading this. I’LL STOP DESCRIBING BROOKLINEGIRL FICS AS SWEET AND ROMANTIC WHEN THEY STOP BEING SO FUCKING SWEET AND ROMANTICCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!

a light hidden and singing by  occultings (Wangxian, E, 48k)

Since he was a child, since Lan Wangji had first become aware of his own alienating effect on others, he has long resigned himself to a loveless marriage. Perhaps even a companionate one, so long as his partner was agreeable and unbothersome and let him have his own space.

He could not have even begun to predict Wei Wuxian.

(A canonverse arranged marriage fic.)

OKAY! We’re ending it on ANOTHER betrothal au by the amazing madame occultings. this was really so good, the flirting, the uncertainty, the pining, all very well written, in-line with canon, and just all around enjoyable to read! saturated in longing without making me want to bash wangxian’s head together, which is a feat in itself! madame occultings can do no wrong!

THERE YOU HAVE IT. AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF. I PRESENT TO YOU: 1.3 million words across exactly 45 fics. Even though i dont have the time to hyperfixate on the untamed anymore, it has continued to be something i enjoy reading and revisiting when i can. even to this day, there is an embarassment of riches when it comes to the untamed fandom whether thats fic writers, fan artists, or gif editors. i am so thankful to the untamed for getting me through lockdown, keeping me busy while i was unemployed, teaching me so many new things, and letting me make so many new friends. i cant say for certain this will be my last fic rec ever, but it’ll definitely be my last for a while. thank you for reading! i love you!

[bowlingforgerbils]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @gretchensinister for tagging me!

How many works have you written for AO3?

40 works! I have some older stuff on fanfiction.net.

What’s your total word count?

Do you know that this is the first time I've ever looked at the Statistics on my AO3 account. I didn't know I could see my total word count! Anyway it's 149,665.

What fandoms do you write for?

These days it's pretty much Good Omens. But I have not forgotten my first love, Rise of the Guardians.

Top 5 fics by kudos

"Jackpot", "He Followed me Home", "I wear your grandad's clothes, I look incredible", "Under the Mistletoe", and "I Promise to Take Care of Him."

The first and the third one are Pacific Rim fanfics, the fourth one is a Good Omens fanfic, and the second and fifth one are my two-parter about Charlie and the Scientist, a crack pairing in the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia canon.

Do you respond to comments?

Yes. It's my way of showing appreciation that someone enjoyed my silly little story. And I'm always happy to answer questions or talk about the characters. <3

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Umm.... I don't really do angsty endings... I guess Shakespeare in the Park? It's not a happy ending, anyway.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, this is hard, almost all I write are happy endings! Maybe Co-Habitation, because it ends with Aziraphale and Crowley living in the South Downs, which is my Good Omens endgame.

Do you get hate on fics?

No, although when I originally started posting When You Wish Upon the Moon on fanfiction.net, someone whined at me in the comments about not wanting me to ship Pitch Black and Sandy together. Thankfully, AO3 has a great tagging system, so I assume anyone reading my stories knows what they are getting into beforehand.

Do you write smut?

Yes! Not lately. I should rectify that. :3

Do you write crossovers?

Yes, occasionally, if the mood strikes me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so... I have a vague memory of someone asking, but that might have been on fanfiction.net.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but many of my Rise of the Guardians fanfics wouldn't be what they are without the collective world-building of the blacksand community.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In general? Probably Aziraphale and Crowley. That I've written? Probably Pitch and Sandy.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a Good Omens pirate AU in my WIP folder that I lost steam in writing, but never say never.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue, and also creating a plot that gives characters a chance to express themselves and hopefully experience some growth.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Moving the characters around in the physical space. I don't know if it's because of my generally weak spatial skills, but imagining where the characters are in the environment and each other is really hard! Fighting scenes in particular give me such a headache.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

It's not something I do, personally, except for a word here and there for flavor. I doubt that adding several lines of badly Google translated dialogue is going to add anything beneficial to my story.

First fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Prydain, although I didn't know it was called fanfic because I was twelve and this was before the internet as we know it existed. It was about a self-insert fairy who was Doli's girlfriend. I liked how grouchy he was!

Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's a tough call, but probably He Followed Me Home. Not only because it was so much fun to write, but because I've received so many comments about how this story is a "comfort fic" for them, something that they read and re-read to feel better, and if that's not the highest compliment that I can receive as an author, then I don't know what is.

I tag whomever wants to do this!

[monstersqueen]

Why do you ship Dazai and Ango?

Well, why not ?

Also I didn't expect to ! one moment I'm like : "wow wouldn't it be fucked up if ango and dazai started a relationship just after odasaku's death ? With dazai's resentment and self-destructive's tendencies and ango's feelings of guilt and his inability to stop caring about dazai?" and the next it's one week later and not only have i read everything in the ao3 tag in english, i've started making the not-english fics go through google translate, visit the tumblr tag every day, and am considering opening a word document to write. Which i have done by now.

All the time going 'yeah but. i really don't feel that vibe from them in canon???'

But. I should have expected it.

Why do I ship Ango and Dazai ?

I've got a Thing about friends-to-enemies-to-lovers

the messier the break up the better

i like it where the feelings afterwards are complicated, especially since it seems like the feelings are murderously complicated :p

i really like ango and i want good things to happen to him, and that means getting dazai back in his life

i really like ango ! he's fascinating ! It's so easy to simplify him to the one government dude but. it's more complicated. It's also more complicated than him putting his friends above all - that's the way i've been going for a while, because he does love them a stupid amount, but it comes down to is his own personal moral code.

he's not in the government because he believes in it - it's a job that gets in the way of what he thinks needs to be done sometimes actually ! he helps odasaku and dazai (or try to :( ), and helps the ada and dazai, and part of it is affection but part of it is that it's the right thing to do.

but the interesting part is that. even though it matters to him it's also in flux and gets limited by the reality of working for the government and "I shall never walk in the light again" oh my god

and it's interesting because he's a liar ! he's an incredibly good actor !

anyway he is interesting and that makes me like him a lot and so i want good things for him. and also to see him break down crying. he's earned it

and honestly the thing about dazai ? is that for someone who doesn't really see the difference between right and wrong, not beyond protecting and caring the few he's chosen, it's interesting to look at the people he did choose !

in the whole mafia he regularly drinks with guy who doesn't kill and the dude they picked up because in the midst of a war he refused to reduce deaths to numbers

he has a deep respect for kunikida's principles, for all he loves needling him?

there's a point also about chuuya and the depths to which chuuya care, and his conviction, to make here to

anyway the thing is that what dazai likes in people is inner goodness and a strong moral code. which are things that are not his !

which makes sense. for all the noises shibusawa and fyodor make about how boring and predictable ordinary people are, i kidna think. someone who thinks like is in fact even more predictable and so even more boring.

and besides even the question of interesting i think dazai just likes people who makes him see the value in living. and people who sees value in life are so interesting.

anyway i really like dazai? and his attempts to live ? he's holding a lot for someone for which there's no inherent joy in living

there's something to be said for someone whose natural talents are manipulation and scheming but who's decided to use those for good

also they have very strong feelings for each other ? sure at one point dazai's strong feelings was 'pull his own gun on ango' but it's also 'everything i would never want to lose is always lost' and no i'm not crying

also right now ango is listening to dazai's heart which honestly in terms of symbolic is some crazy romantic shit. also he was stopping time (via proxy) to communicate back, seriously, with the right framing this is peak romance

also how the fuck did they put that together. when. did dazai manage to go through that conversation without letting some of his anger show his true nature as heartbreak ? i want to know

seriously the ada matters a lot to dazai; he cares for everyone in it, and not just because that's how he can keep his promise to odasaku, he cares about them

so ? right now ? he's relying on ango to make sure what his intentions and thoughts get to them. that's absolute trust. that's not "you betrayed me once but i'm giving you a chance and we'll see" that's "we were friends once and i know you and i know you still care and so i trust you completely" and even that is not possible without acknowledging one way or another that he still cares too

i'm absolutely crazy about ango risking his carreers because he trusts that dazai is doing the right thing. i think there isn't a lot he wouldn't do for dazai, but i also think he's trusting in dazai's good intentions

which given the while 'sabotaging his airbag' thing is ALSO a whole lot of trust

ango is going against the entire government, basically inflitrating it as a reverse spy (again), because he trusts that dazai is truly trying to protect people.

and risking his job. at the very least. can't wait to see where it all ends up for him

anyway we're talking about two people who used to be close, who were torn apart in ways that tore them both to shreds, left their relationship at the 'wow it would be fucked up if they got together now, that certainly wouldn't be love and it would be toxic as fuck' and 'pull your own gun on you' and 'sabotage your airbag' stage, and SOMEHOW got at "i'll trust you absolutely in a situation where the world has been turned against us"

in short i ship ango and dazai because dazai went from "i knew i was going to lose you because i would never want to" to "i'm going to pull your own gun on you and at least consider shooting despite that that would really fuck me and my team over" to "you are the one i trust when i can't help myself anymore" and that's. that's.

yeah.

[little-engineer-who-cant]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @amethystunarmed and I am very late in responding, but what else is new? I finally get to do one of these now that I've started posting my writing!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12 as of writing this.

2. What’s your total word count?

203,764 words which is so very many and 159,923 of those words are in one series that's not even halfway done yet.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The fandoms I have published are Skyrim, Batman, Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Black Sails.

One day though, I will start posting my ASoIaF works, I swear.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Act 1: Into the Breach - Skyrim

The Water Under the Bridge to Elysium is Still the River Styx - Batman crossover with Percy Jackson

There's a Waystation in Gotham - Batman crossover with Percy Jackson

Act 2: Rising Until Our Souls Shatter in the Sky - Skyrim

Under the Red Hood Lies Jason Todd's Shattered Dreams - Batman crossover with Percy Jackson

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really love getting them and a lot of people who comment on my fics have hit very close to future plot points! I try to respond, but I also know I'm terrible at keeping secrets because I'm so excited about what comes next, so sometimes I do not respond because I don't want to accidentally spoil my own stuff.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one is a tie, honestly. If you want angst that gets a resolution in a different work? Then it has to be Screaming Past the Limit, Never to Slow Down Again which is another part of the Batman and PJO crossover series.

If you're looking for unresolved angst, then it is Are You Coming to the (Hanging) Tree? which is a Black Sails fic focused on Abigail Ashe. It is one of my favorite pieces I've ever written and I did it in like 20 minutes while I was at work.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

You're the Torch I'll Use to Burn this World Down, another Black Sails fic but this one focuses on Miranda because I love her and I think she deserves good things all the time.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, but I write in very niche sections of fandoms (crossovers, modded communities, etc) so most of the people that come across my works really want to be there and try not to run creators out. The closest I've gotten was someone nagging on a location in the Damnation Saga because I screwed around with character's perceptions on map locations a bit for worldbuilding flavor.

9. Do you write smut?

To be determined. The Damnation Saga might get some, who knows.

10. Do you write crossovers?

...

That is 98% of my drafts. Literally the only works I have that are not crossovers are the Damnation stories. I have over 20 WIPs that are all crossovers. I love interweaving different stories that have similar themes or lore backgrounds, exploring how they interact and how the myths of one is perceived by the other and vice versa. Butterfly effects and world premise shifts, my beloved.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Fic? No. Original work however, @amethystunarmed and I have never really stopped our nonsense over the last 10 or so years. We still have shared Google Docs that were last modified in 2012.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

What got me into fanfiction, and what I still go back to even after all this time, is Bagginshield. I reread Sansûkh all the time. You should read it too. Everyone should. I aspire to create something that incredible and moving. I cry every time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Sweet Talk Hides Dark Thoughts. It's a massive crossover and I just tried to do too much. The butterfly effect got so out of hand that the story would no longer be anywhere near where I wanted it to be. It is super unwieldy in terms of both size and plot and I can't figure out a way to reel it in or finish it in a way that I'm satisfied with. Instead, I've sectioned out chunks and reskinned the concepts. For example, the entire Sirens Scream series is based on a bit I had in Sweet Talk where Silena Beauregard lives and vanishes into the unknown. Sweet Talk also explored the ramifications of there being survivors from Kronos' army and how the Titan War affected all the CHILD SOLDIERS that were fighting in it, concepts that I brought into Sirens but looked at from a different angle.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions and interweaving plot beats. I love a good Chekhov's Gun and I will fire it multiple times. I also am good at pacing. If you feel the story moving at breakneck speed with no room for breathing, it's because I want you to feel that way.

I'm also good at inner monologues, especially about a character spiraling into corruption and despair.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action sequences. Unless there's room for monologues in there, I suck at them and they are a slog to write.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I do it, but I always make sure to add a note asking for correction if I've translated it wrong. I do my best, but I am not a linguist nor do I have time to be. I use a lot of Dovahzul in the Damnation Saga and I am using both Old Norse and High Valyrian in other WIPs right now.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit. I wanted to make an OC in Laketown so very badly, but I never got anything I was happy with.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

There's a Waystation in Gotham. Hands down. It's the fic that inspired the entire Sirens Scream series because I couldn't get that line out of my head. I wrote it in one swoop when I was in the middle of machine changes and it needed basically no edits. If asked to recommend my own work, this is the top of the list.

I am tagging @kiir-do-faal-rahhe, @vice-versa-vane, and @septemberskye

[sincerelybubbles]

You Don’t Actually Answer To Asks Y Lie

[IMAGE ID]: 3 screenshots all showing the tumblr ask inbox. the first has 3 asks on it, the first one sent (read at the bottom of the page) reads: “do you allow translations of your stories” the second one reads: “Do you allow translations of your work?” and the third reads: “y do you not answer asks”. The second screenshot shows one ask that reads: “hello?” with many o’s and question marks. The third screenshot shows a final ask reading: “y u ignore asks”. [IMAGE ID END]

um, good morning !

first and foremost: nobody online owes you shit, anon. like literally nobody, especially not someone who just posts bnha fanfiction at incredibly random increments. it’s just not how the world works.

i get that u asked a question and (im assuming) really really want to translate my writing, but i’m allowed to not answer literally anything in my inbox for whatever reason without getting spammed? like, i would understand maybe a reminder ask to make sure tumblr didn’t delete your ask, but, in general, this was excessive.

the internet is here for your convenience and entertainment , yes, but that doesn’t mean that *i* am here for your convenience and entertainment. i provide a free service (and honestly don’t even provide it regularly) because i want to, not because i’m obligated.

and, that goes for literally any request for fanfiction authors. “you wrote this ooc” or “you need to update this” or sending requests or telling the author how their fics should end — literally anything you could think of, people online who you are Not Paying Or Bartering Services From can just ignore you. that’s how it works.

moving past that (if i were somehow obligated to answer your ask immediately) i haven’t been online and answering asks and just ignoring yours to be mean or something. i haven’t actually been on the app for longer than maybe 2 mins at a time in over a month because … and i know this might be a foreign in concept for you and your view of people online … i have been busy!

i’m also not in the habit of checking my asks, to be completely truthful. it’s been over a year since i’ve gotten one, other than the literal two last month, if i’m remembering correctly, because 99% of my followers are lurkers (i love you all dearly and am exactly the same way) but i’m just. not in the habit of checking!!

to answer your question, though, no. i’m not comfortable with people translating my works because i feel like it opens the floodgates for people copying and pasting my works and posting them as their own without me able to check and regulate it. if i were to have works translated, i def wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone on anon asking to do it because i would want to know where and when they were posting the translations and i would probably talk to whoever wanted to translate extensively before letting them post anything (mainly to make sure they’re not just going to slap my fanfic into google translate tbh).

and, i’m going to be honest with you buddy, what you really should take out of this interaction is that you probably really need to get offline for a few hours. it’s not the end of the world if one blog doesn’t answer your ask within the week that you sent it. i didn’t see it, i wasn’t maliciously ignoring you, and (for anyone wondering or waiting for an ask to be answered) i always intend to get to asks eventually, im just not going to always answer super fast. and sometimes i won’t answer if it’s something i don’t want to answer or a request i don’t want to do or literally any other reason because I Don’t Have To.

(if there are any typos in this, i’m sorry, i just woke up for a little morning fanfic read after not being able to sleep and saw this … mess. now, i have a rlly nice anon to answer and imma do that :) this was in no way to discourage people sending me asks — this was to discourage people from spamming me because i didn’t answer on the timeline they’ve imposed on me)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Salut my beloved!

Une petite question pour toi: as-tu une liste de recommandations de snarry fic en français?

(Et aussi: comment dit-on "my beloved" en français? J'aimerais les bons mots utiliser, et je ne pense pas google translate est 100% correct lol)

(Et aussi aussi: oui j'ai pris un cours de français, mais that was several years ago, alors pendant je t'écris le message me tout seul, j'utilise beaucoup google translate!) (If that counts!) (Et seulement je appris le vouvoiement alors j'écris V Formal lol merci de me trouver mignon 🥺)

MON AMOUR MON BIEN-AIMÉ!!! I went and found the fics I used to like back in Ye Olden Days of me reading fic in french <3 sorted by order of which one I remembered first, except my forever faves are at the top of the list because I love favouritism. Most of the links are to FFnet unfortunately, if I found the fic on AO3 I linked to that but french Snarry mostly seemed/seems to be on FFnet.

I'll say it juust in case but some of those I still consider masterpieces and some of those I think weren't very well written in retrospect. That means possible grammar/spelling mistakes and dubious plot/characterisation choices, but it doesn't mean I don't think the fics aren't worth reading ever at all. Sure most of them I cringe at if I reread them but they were important to me. There might be obscure slang or incomprehensible language mistakes though, sorry for that Tomas.

@zeawesomebirdie it posted before I finished the list so here's a tag to make sure you see it haha

• Le Sang des Innocents by Tabourette (280k, 48 chapters)

Le sang, ce liquide carmin qui maintient en vie mais qui peut aussi causer la mort. Une chose si banale mais pourtant chargée de pouvoir. Il nous relit les uns aux autres, nous enchaîne, fait basculer des vies, bouleverse des destins.

-> The summary is incredibly obscure and I love it. It's half a vampire!Severus/blood source!Harry (in french fanfic they're usually called chalices but I don't think there's an equivalent in english) and half a Remus/Draco, which you really get used to actually. It's the one I've been meaning to translate for years. It's absolutely incredible. If you don't like vampires at least give this one a few chapters. The first half is relationship establishing and halfway through the 'real' plot comes bursting in and it's great. Unforgettable, all time fave. AND this one I know doesn't have typos or mistakes.

• Puppy by Mandy Mandala7338 (174k, 15 chapters)

Après la guerre, le Survivant se sent de plus en plus seul et incompris. Sa vie lui échappe, il ne contrôle plus rien, surtout pas ses sentiments. Pourtant, des gens s'inquiètent pour lui et un homme va décider de l'aider. Il fera découvrir à Harry des facettes inconnues de sa vie, ce qui, à sa surprise, va lui plaire plus que prévu. Slash M/M. BDSM

-> Blueprint for who I am as a person and I'm not joking. This fic did 14yo me's BDSM education (I know shhh I know) it helped me with my adolescent feelings and it never left my heart. When I saw the summary for Pacify I went 'hey that sounds like Puppy I should give it a shot!' because yeah the premise is similar, though it isn't executed the same at all. If you are also fascinated by stories about kink written by people who know what they're talking about this is probably the best you'll find in terms of french Snarry. Good grammar as well!

• SAS, Son Altesse Sérénissime by Nanola Meylhann (195k, 28 chapters)

Depuis plusieurs siècles, la famille Rogue règne sur Poudlard, une principauté prospère. Pour le prince, tout va être chamboulé lors de sa montée sur le trône et un secret millénaire va être déterré, mettant en péril les croyances du régent, ses choix et ses décisions.

-> The worldbuilding is kind of insane honestly. Does it make a lot of sense no did I love it yeah. Here Severus is the prince of an imaginary principality and Harry is his ancestral curse-mandated soulmate who had a shit life and starts the fic as a prostitute. The writing is good but Harry doesn't speak very formal french in it so it might be hard to understand in parts.

• La guerre des contrats by Rose_British (70k, 20/?)

Albus a abusé de son pouvoir pour fiancer Harry à Ginny. Il n'avait juste pas prévu l'existence d'un autre contrat…

-> This isn't a "learnt to love your forced spouse" arranged marriage fic, it's a "kick Dumbledore's ass as a power couple" fic. Lots of contracts and legal stuff and grey!powerful!Harry and going to Gringotts, you know how it is. This used to fascinate me. On hiatus but I really hope the author comes back to it if they can!

• Une Histoire de la soumission by Mayunaise (95k, 13 chapters)

"C'est grâce à ce livre que j'ai enfin compris ta relation avec Snape. Tu devrais rester à l'écart de lui. Il est dangereux", dit Hermione. "Mais Snape est mort !", cria Harry. "Justement." Comment Harry, à cause d'un mystérieux grimoire intitulé Une Histoire de la Soumission, développe une obsession folle et désespérée pour feu Severus Snape. 8e année - HPSS - COMPLETE

-> This is a gem this is an anomaly I read it once years ago haven't touched it since and have only vague memories of it but I KNOW I'm right. Its vibes are intense and unforgettable. There's some kind of weird stuff in the flashbacks Harry lives through when he's into the book, fair warning.

• Cloîtré and Les âges sombres by sioban parker (36k & 12 chapters, 38k & 10 chapters)

COMPLETE. En 5e année, Harry réalise avec stupeur que, dans une vie antérieure, il était novice dans une abbaye. Et que Snape était près de lui… UA médiéval et monacal. HPSS !

Suite de Cloîtré. Pour l'inquisition, le maintien de l'ordre social et religieux est l'objectif premier. Malheur à ceux qui s'écartent du rang. HPSS médiéval. COMPLETE

-> I won't lie my memories of those two are extremely vague but the summary sounds dope haha. Also I dowloaded them and I do believe I thought highly of them so yeah? For sure medieval Snarry in an abbey is a choice but I love authors who try weird stuff and Severus does have medieval monk vibes in a way.

• Mardi Gras and Le Carnaval by Archimede (14k, 61k & 4 chapters)

OS. Durant toute la journée, Severus avait dû supporter ses incapables d'élèves ainsi qu'une rébellion de Gryffondor. Aussi, quand Neville l'avait invité à dîner chez lui le soir, il n'aurait jamais cru que la soirée soit aussi mouvementée… ou pas.

Suite de "Mardi Gras". Depuis la soirée de la chandeleur, Severus est sur le qui-vive. Draco et Neville veulent se marier et Harry lui en fait voir de toutes les couleurs. Mais ce n'est pas tout ! Il doit aussi se rendre au carnaval du petit Teddy et subir un repas avec les Weasley… Mais qui a dit que Severus Snape, Serpentard de son état, se laisserait faire ?

-> Vague memories of these but they're fun memories! I love when they do things with other people <3

• La vie d'un calice by kelokelo (235k, 42 chapters)

Harry calice d'un Rogue vampire ? Vous n'y croyez pas ? Et pourtant…

-> Okay this one I had to include because it meant a lot to me and I was obsessed with it but also it's um. Well. It's not very well written. It has grammar mistakes and weird characterisation and some truly deranged turns of phrase and bad plotlines. But it was part of my french Snarry experience and leaving it behind because it's kind of bad would feel mean to me. Probably not good if you're not sure of your grasp of french though. Also you can see the use of the term "calice", chalice again, which, well, I had a vampire phase, what do you want.

• Héritage by emeraldcryst (188k, 23/?)

Un héritage ça plait toujours non? Quand on ne s'appelle pas Harry Potter peut être…

-> I was really into vampires but I also loved creature inheritance fics lol. Another one that's not up to my current standard but that I remember fondly, if very vaguely. It's up to you if you want to read kinda bad Veela Harry :')

• Extermination by Crapounette (105k, 10 chapters)

Dolorès Ombrage a lancé une campagne d'extermination des nuisibles nocturnes. Premières victimes : Remus et Tonks ainsi que le vampire Severus Rogue. Ayant tenté de venger Remus, Harry Potter est jeté à Azkaban où il retrouve le vampire. HP/SS Vamp/calice.

-> ALSO a fic that is kind of not very good in retrospect but that I still love. It aged extremely badly with the way JKR has been behaving because it's a story where Umbridge tries to genocide all the impure creatures like werewolves and vampires and puts them into camps before Harry and Severus save the day. Yeah. Listen when I was 14 this rocked my world! If you're allergic to exaggerated stuff (like Umbridge suddenly having enough power to put people into camps in like 2 months) and uke/seme-like dynamics you probably won't like this one but it's close to my heart. If you want to read the sex scenes (they're not that good but why not) the site she was posting the full versions on went down so eh. There's screencaps saved to the web archive but I don't have the URL. What I do have is homemade epubs with the full text, so you can hit me up if you want those I guess? (anyone btw. You're the only person possibly interested but if someone else wanted to I'd send them the epub as well)

• Joyeux Noël, Professeur !, Bonne Année, Professeur ! and Joyeuses Pâques, Professeur ! also by Crapounette

-> the series is about celebrating holidays but I'm just giving you those because they're also a little not good but at least they're short, I figure that's good if you want to start somewhere.

• Dégrisment by Agathe Laplante (27k, 7 chapters)

Harry Potter se réveille dans une cellule de dégrisement sans aucun souvenir de sa fin de soirée de la veille. Et il aurait, de loin, préféré ne jamais retrouver la mémoire.

-> The plot goes by a little fast but 1) perfumer Severus and 2) I love when people address the consequences of Harry's childhood & adolescence, even if they rush it a little.

• Les Jolis Pitits Dessins by Lychee (18k, 5 chapters)

SLASH SSHP Qui n'a jamais griffoné de dessins cochons sur ses brouillons de devoirs, mmh? Harry n'échappe pas à la règle. Sauf qu'il s'agit d'un devoir de Potions et qu'il rend le brouillon sans s'en rendre compte… Terminé

-> One of my first Snarrys I think! The "pitits" in the title is just a cutesy way of saying petits.

Then I have a few translations that could interest you, since if you have a doubt the english original text is right there. The english texts are all on my reclist that i've been planning for a good year so I don't want to be too detailed in my opinions since that would just be repetition when I finally post it, but I'll still talk about them because I cannot be brief about fanfic I like.

• French translation by Nyfna of Cambiare Podentes: Invocare by JordanGrant (212k, 33/50)

Une nouvelle prophétie fait son apparition, elle promet la mort pour Harry Potter et l'esclavage du monde sorcier, à moins qu'Harry lui-même ne consente à devenir l'esclave sexuel - de façon irrévocable et pour la vie - de Severus Rogue.

(A new prophecy comes to light, one that promises death for Harry Potter and enslavement for the wizarding world, unless Harry himself consents to being sexually enslaved--irrevocably and for life--to Severus Snape.)

-> I think it would be funny if on your path to learning french you used the same fic as me but the languages were swapped. Also the fic is great obviously. Changed my life and such

• French translation by Hesymi of Emancipation by BadGirlgoesworse (151k, 43 chapters)

Qu'est-ce que les gens dépendants sont censés faire lorsque ceux en qui ils avaient mis toute leur confiance les trahissent ? C'est simple, il suffit de trouver un moyen de devenir maître de leur destin.

(What are dependents left to do when betrayed by those they trusted most, but to find a way to become masters in their own right. Set after Department of Mysteries fiasco in Order of the Phoenix.)

-> very uh. Powerful!grey!Harry? Also mostly bottom Severus, if that interests you. The characterisation is Something and there's some bashing but y'know how it is, read it when I was young and I'm fond of it, etc etc. I also find it funny how the french translation has like 20k more words, truly we talk too much.

• Courtiser Harry Potter, french translation by Devil Pops LRDM of The Courtship of Harry Potter by Diana Williams

HPSS Selon une tradition millénaire, un sorcier peut demander la protection d'un mentor plus âgé. Le nouveau professeur de DCFM cherche à séduire Harry Potter, forçant ainsi Severus à entrer en compétition pour conquérir le cœur du jeune homme. /COMPLETE

(Another teacher's interest in Harry Potter forces a reluctant Snape to compete for the young man affections.)

-> Snarry classic, won't get into details, etc etc, it's great honestly. If you like mentor/apprentice vibes this is not exactly that though (because Severus is well-adjusted enough to realise that's a bit weird to have that power over a 17yo. Thank you Severus for having morals)

• Sans Voix & L'ombre de l'autre par Bliblou, translations of Speechless by thesewarmstars and The Shadow of the Other by atypicalsnowman (29k & 9 chapters, 34k & 6 chapters in french)

-> Bliblou seems to have deleted their account at some point, but I have epubs if you're interested? The original fics are dope, if you decide you want to try and read them in french as well hit me up.

And as a bonus for you, here is one singular Tomarrymort I found in the pile, and a Drarry recommendation, juuust in case, because I used to be into Drarry before Snarry swept me off my feet.

• La loi de l'Amour by Rose_British (128k, 33 chapters)

Pour garder son contrôle sur Harry, Dumbledore prévoit de le marier de force et fait instaurer une loi de mariage pour camoufler ses traces. Sauf que tout ne se passe pas comme prévu…

-> Like La guerre des contrats, it's Dumbledore bashing, but this time Harry is with Tom. It's not arranged marriage either because he's already dating Voldemort and then he's arranged-married to Tom Riddle, which is pretty funny. What turned me off the first time is the Severus/Ginny, but I think I might give it another shot honestly.

• Nothing else matters by Rose Malefoy (346k, 39 chapters)

Deux hommes, deux continents. Une vie faite de relations éphémères, sans contrainte et sans engagement, dans laquelle ils n'étaient pas censés se retrouver. Et surtout, ils n'étaient pas censés s'aimer. Si proches peu importe la distance, ça ne pourrait être plus près du cœur, croyons éternellement en ce que nous sommes. Et rien d'autre n'a d'importance . HPDM/DMHP - EXPLICITE.

-> Now I know I know, that's a huge ass novel to present you with when you didn't even ask for Drarry. No offense if you don't want to touch it, that would be fair, but this fic also is really cool. I'm giving you this one because it's the most memorable of the author's works for me, but she's also written a few OS that aren't as big, so if you want 'shorter' quality works and you're fine with the ship I recommend looking at her profile.

AND THIS CONCLUDES IT! Thanks for asking, this was a blast from the past. I mean look at all these summaries that say don't like don't read.... incredible. The Snarry reclist will hopefully be coming this summer but it's going to be a MONSTER. Absolutely huge. So. Hope there's something readable for you in there, otherwise there should be some good short stuff on FFnet or AO3 (or I can rec you actual books that aren't thousands of words long lol)

[ofallthingsnasty]

hello! I hope it's okay to ask but do you have any tips for writing German speaking characters?? are there any differences authors should be aware of when it comes to different countries like Austria or Belgium?? thank you!

That's a good question. Okay, there are two things I've noticed over the years:

1.) Careful with informal and formal if you make them speak German. Some online translators spit out informal, always and it's jarring to read a fic where spouses unironically use formal on each other while having a little fluffy slice of life moment. 'Sie' (with a capitalized s) is the formal way to address people (so-called 'siezen' (verb)), 'du' (lowercase d, 'duzen' (verb)) is the informal, just as a quick guide. Deepl is pretty good for translations, it spits out both formal and informal.

2.) Careful with the pet names. It all depends on the character, but I see people use them very liberally - and just make it over the top. Are character a and b supposed to have business/work relationship and a wants to fuck b? Don't go in there and make a call b 'Schatz/Mäuschen/Liebling', that is INCREDIBLY rude. Instant turn-off. It's so, so disrespectful. I once had an older patient call me 'girl' the whole time and I was appalled. In the wrong setting, it's a sign of someone viewing you as lesser (as it is in the anglosphere) - the problem is that setting is pretty much everywhere. If a character does that, they're usually super sleazy.

Some people don't use pet names AT ALL even when they're in relationships. Careful with the pet names. Even among friends.

As for differences between the german speaking countries: Oh, there are loads, the most obvious one is the dialect. There are already huge differences between the different regions of Germany, not to mention other countries. Google is your friend here! Research, research, research! What is the character like? Where are they from? Does it matter, though? Could they be the 'typical' region xyz person or could they be entirely different (= maybe even sick of it?) - ask people, pick up a book, look through YouTube.

For example, I'm from the capital and yes, people are like that - very rude and brash, even while trying to sell you something. I studied in Bavaria and got whiplash when I first got there 😂 People were so nice to me, wow... 🥹🫶

[serendipitous-magic]

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

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2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

_-_

5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

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10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery. 

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story. 

It also informs character behavior and personality. 

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

[tundrainafrica]

Which would you say are your favorite fanfics ever? (Levihan ofc)

Okay, I don’t think I’m the best judge of what’s quality or not quality cause I ain’t no writing authority so I cannot vouch for whether you will like these fics or not. But I am a firm believer that good writing makes readers feel things and leaves a lasting impression. 

So lemme rephrase the question… What fics left a lasting impression?

So brace yourself for one hell of a ride while I talk about fanworks that just fucked me up in the following ways: 

Caused me to irrationally hate one random character

Made me forget something isn’t canon

Made me completely rearrange my day because I completely f-ed myself up.

Made me feel guilty for fucking up the view count because I keep going back there.

Makes me remember the fic as an aesthetic, not as actual words. Like literally I will imagine the setting almost perfectly in my head and like when I try to remember what happened, I don’t really remember the writing style or anything, but I could probably create a sim house about how exactly I imagined the house to look like or the yard to look like.

Changed the way I approach fic reading.

I don’t wanna spoil these fics because I’m assuming people are gonna read it so as much as I wanna make a long ass detailed review about why I love each of them, I won’t. I’ll probably just mention what the hell I was doing when I read the fic and how I completely fucked myself over. 

I probably will miss some since I’m just listing these out from the top of my head. So here goes…And I’m only posting completed fics because I’m just that way. 

Second chance by @fanmoose12

This is my comfort fic. The first time I read this fic, it was like 4am or 5am in the morning and I remember after reading it once, I read it like 5 more times that day. 

This is literally the fic I just randomly open on my computer at work on some incognito tab when I’m just tired from all the shit they make us do at work and this is the random fic that I just open up when I feel like reading. And this is one of the fics I plan on showing my children one day when I explain to them what love is. 

This isn’t depressing so I guess it doesn’t fall in the ‘fucked me over’ category but definitely one of the fics I read too many times to count that I remember it scene by scene like some simp. 

Partners by fanmoose12

Woops, one exception for WIPs. I just had to post this here because it definitely left a lasting impression. 

This was the first AU I have ever read and been invested in and I have been reading fanfiction since before I could remember and I have always stuck to canonverse fics until I got into Levihan. 

This fic got me into the AU genre and I have never read AUs in my life before this so I think that says a lot about how much this fic means to me. 

Somewhere Only We Know by @someonestolemyshoes

It’s not completely posted in ao3 yet. But since I beta-ed the fic, I finished it long before SSMS posted it but this fic. It started slow so it took me a week of on and off work to get through  but I got through the second part of the fic, the last 30,000 words  incredibly fast. I vividly remembered reading those last final scenes over breakfast completely in shock while my whole family was there. I literally had to leave the room and take my dog out for a second walk . 

I remember the aesthetic of the overall story vividly enough to actually make a moodboard of it and spend a good 1 hour going through country side pics after finishing it. . 

Yellow by @ariadneamare​

God, this fic. I read this over a day of work. Like breakfast, first few thousand words, Lunch next few thousand words. And I finished the rest before bed and oh god, this is the type of fic that builds a great aesthetic, some lightness and just to fuck you over in the end. 

I like to compare it to a longer and AU version of Pristine in terms of how it strings emotions along. I know they’re two completely different fics but the energy of the fic, the stream of emotions on how it strings you along is fairly similar. 

This is literally one of those fics where I’m just having a good day, and my mind goes ‘remember that one fic’ and I just wrinkle my nose like ‘yeah THAT FIC’ 

Pristine by @mannatea​

I’m sure everyone has read this, it’s practically a classic and I cannot count the number of people who told me it was depressing and I do not know why I did not believe them. I read this while waiting in line for milk tea. I lost my place in line around the time I finished that last part and just gave up on buying milk tea.

It has this build up, this incredibly fluffy build up which won’t make you think it will end the way it did. 

Well. you know a fic is good when you know it’s gonna end a certain way but you allow yourself to get strung along anyway. 

A Simple Choice by just-quintessentially-me

This is one of those fics for me that double as an aesthetic piece and a plot piece. I remember INCREDIBLY WELL, the road I was imagining that they were walking through and it satisfied my hurt comfort feels as well. Definitely one of my favorite 115-126 fics and one of the first ones I read in the fandom for sure. 

So those are the english fics, I have to Japanese fics that fall in that category. 

(For anyone who knows Japanese I guess but I personally think they’re worth a google translate.)

熱に浮く(Feverish Dream)

Classic canon compliant. Hange takes care of Levi when he’s sick fic but there are misunderstandings here, they contemplate their relationship and they are incredibly emotionally constipated here. Definitely one of the classics imo and it feeds my need for hurt/comfort.

前世なんてクソだと言う女と 全て忘れた男 

(A girl who thinks past lives are not real and a boy who forgot everything)

Hange is a teacher, Levi is a janitor. Hange remembers stuff and Levi doesn’t and just really cute stuff. 

I’m pretty sure you guys are tired of me rambling about how much this fic means to me but really, I wrote a Tale of Two Slaves (Which is just brushing 100k words already) because this was just so beautiful it got me into the reincarnation genre.

私の中の少女、あなたの中の少年

(The girl inside me and the boy inside you) 

Levi and Hange are exes/childhood friends and they meet again in a matchmaking party. This is just the greatest balance between emotional constipation and love. The premise was just perfect for the type of build up 

Closest thing I’m gonna drop to smut here. Will leave my smut recs for another post but I’m low key really still thinking whether or not I should expose myself by dropping my favorite Levihan smut pieces hahaha.

Filo Socmed AUs

A lot of these probably aren’t google translatable since Tagalog google translate sucks but if anyone is interested, most Filo Socmed AUs have a fair amount of English so it’s coherent. I guess? I completely forget though how much is in English and how much is in Tagalog but these are the Filo Socmed AUs I REALLY remember and really go back to. 

Vividly Remembered 

This one got me blowing my days worth of salary on some meal in a restaurant because I didn’t wanna go back home to my house yet so I remember just crying over a meal while finishing up this fanfiction instead of going home. 

Basically a fic where Levi and Hange were together already and were about to get married already but shit happened. I irrationally hate Nanaba because of this Socmed AU. Like everytime I see Nanaba, i think of this Socmed AU and I just hate her again. 

Photographs 

Levi and Hange are part of the photography club and shit happens. I remember being behind on work because I decided to take a three hour lunch break to finish this AU. This satisfied my sick Levi craving in so many ways (especially after reading Yellow)

Wherein Levi doesn’t have social media accounts and Hange is the class beadle

This last one just has the overall aesthetic of my own university so it really stuck tbh. And the premise of the build up is just incredibly cute. 

These are the ones I can remember from the top of my head so I’m sure these are among my favorites. I’ll definitely update this as I read more.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey! Hey! I just read your answer to the writing reader x character fics ask and wanted to bonk you with a LOT OF APPRECIATION FOR CALLUNA!!

I'm so amazed by it still, it's so heartwarming that you've written something so beautiful inspired by one of my pieces and from where I'm currently at, the story, the plot, SAERAN, the MC/reader, every other character, they're all so on point. I just love it so much, your use of words is wonderful and the whole fic is incredible, I still cannot comprehend how good it is?? I can with no doubt say that you're currently my favourite MM writer out there, everything you come up with is just so incredibly well written and thought of. I've had to hold on giving any feedback till now because I wanted to finish reading it first before throwing all the love I have for it at you, since I'm currently just on chapter 11 because I was following it as it was getting published at first but then school got the better of me (since I always read fics at night and lately school has forced me to go to sleep way to early to do that, and I'm so deprived of fics oh my god), and as I'm only on chapter 11 I know that there's still a big storm coming because sadly someone happened to spoil something about the fic for me, but you bet I'm gonna throw even more love at you when school gives me time for that and you BET I'll be drawing some art for it too 😌💞 It's what you deserve

Also, the post itself really resonated with me, like the things you said about writing what makes you happy. It wasn't only relatable with me drawing things I enjoy, there's also the fact that I've been writing fics for myself lately. That writing has also kinda replaced my activity of reading them as much, but I really enjoy it! Idk why I never did it before honestly, but writing them just for myself is really...therapeutic in a way? There's no pressure of anyone judging you and you can do anything you've ever wanted, it's so comforting. I'm just not showing them to anyone because 1. I feel ashamed of them, I'm not the best writer but I find doing it fun 2. my headcanons are sometimes really different to others' and I sometimes feel bad for that or afraid of getting backlash/into arguments for my headcanons. But writing them is fun, and the same goes for you, I hope you continue to do what makes you happy! Though I do enjoy some good old reader x character fics, reading about Lila is also interesting and sometimes she sounds a lot like what Sunset would do so that's just a huge plus lolol

(also me 🤝 you

giving Saeran CMCs who like lolita fashion)

Pat yourself on the back! That Prince Ray art just lit a fire in me with an idea that was already in the back of my head for a while and it smacked me in the head the second that I saw that handsome boy. It was only the moment I saw a pretty boy in a crown. I am nothing but a simp.

That's the good thing about being in fandom. There are people in these places that make art inspired by writing or writing inspired by art. I love seeing that because it's a testament to the harmony in fandom and it is so easy to look to each other when we feel as if we're making an impact on everyone.

It just feels so good to create something from nothing, even if it's art or writing. The process is cathartic and we cannot deny making something makes us just feel accomplished! Your passion to your art is something that we all see and recognize! I'm glad to have been able to watch you progress with your art because you are very talented and you will only continue to better the more you have fun and practice.

Goodness Gracious, I don't know I'm prepared to see anything from the fic drawn out! I have all of these outfit references for Sparrow and for all of the other cast members in the story but I've not been able to flash them out myself. There's just something really sweet about the aesthetic that exists within fairytale AUs that I can't ignore. I am sorry to hear that someone spoiled you on one of the events in the story.

At least you don't know how it builds up or leads to that point in the story where the incident occurs. I've been spoiled in a few stories before and how I reason with myself is that: I don't know how we get to [Spoiler] and that means the full experience isn't robbed from me. I'm glad that you've enjoyed it! I put a lot of care into the story because it was such a great piece of art to work with.

I'm not ready, Seeme. Don't kill me. I don't think we can handle it. Prince Ray already kills me on sight.

Shfksnrowneoehe! Sunset is really cute. I always love seeing her on my Instagram or over here on DailySaeran. Her hair is really bouncy and sweet and it just makes me feel some kind of way. I just love frilly clothes and we need more cute MCs in big skirts. I'm very OC positive and I try to make sure that all kinds of people in this fandom know that they should shamelessly write what makes them happy.

I am glad to hear that you're exploring writing for the first time. I hope you know that you don't have to share with other people of you don't want to do that. You put your heart and soul into your writing even if there's spelling errors, translation errors, or what have you within the story, you put a piece of your heart into what you're writing. I say this with the utmost sincerity write for you and nobody else. Write what makes you happy no matter what anyone says.

I don't care if that means you're writing Self Insert Fics where you have cat ears, rainbow hair, or everyone loves you without question. Or If you're writing about an OC who loves without reason or can do "impossible" things without trouble. It's your story.

You create the canon. You create the universe. You put yourself into it. It is unashamedly you.

If it makes you happy, you write it. Put your heart into it. We put ourselves into the characters, not just our OCs. But, we put our soul into the cast of canon characters. So, just know that even if you do not share your writing, you should never feel like you have to share it for it to be proof of skill or talent. If anyone hits you with discourse if you do share it one day, let me know. I will mess them up with a Hello Kitty bat all the while wearing the cutest dress.

I've got a lot of Saeran x Reader story ideas, I'm gonna make a poll with my general ideas and let people vote on that later once I get home. It'll be a Google Form. I'll probably link it on my IG too. I hope you guys are interested in that! I hope that you're able to slow down and enjoy yourself soon here! I know that school must be really rough with everything right now. I gotta wish you luck with that.

Meanwhile, I gotta go smack myself or something, I admire you and here you are hitting me with the same thing. Djwkdhekdnodbeie

[nandolonso]

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS (John Wick X Reader)

("TEACHER" X STUDENT COLLEGE AU)

Pairing: John Wick x Reader (AU - ish?)

Summary: John Wick lives a different life before his "retirement". He becomes a sort of vigilante, who is taking out the bad guys. His next goal is to catch a drug dealer who mainly distributes in Y/N's college. However, after meeting Y/N, not only Y/N's life turn upside down but also John's.

Word count: 8281

Warnings: ugh, so many. But it's John Wick, so... blood, swearing, college, anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness, shyness, angst, slow-burn, age gap, smut, DIRTY SMUT, fluff. 

ALSO, IM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER OF ENGLISH SO PLEASE FORGIVE MY MISTAKES!

Author’s note: GUYS!! I've found this fanfic deep down in my-never-posted-writings and I was re-reading it when I thought, this is just utter shit, let me post that (lol), I hate myself. 😂 I was cringing at some part, but I managed to write them over, so it is a little bit bearable. I don't know if you'll like it, but I hope you do. I wanted to post something to cheer you up in this hard time. I wish the best for all of you. ♥️ The inspiration came from some many places, but mostly from "calling teachers by their first name" videos. You'll see why I got the idea from it... After that, I've given some thought about "fake" teacher John and gosh... let me tell you, it got me hot and bothered. Also inspired by 21/22 Jump Street. Please, please, leave some feedback.

P.S.: Sadly, I don't know any Italian, so thank you for Google Translation for "sponsoring" this fic lmao.

*

This was your very last year of college. More specifically, your last semester. Thank God. You could not be happier as you thought about it. Even though you enjoyed studying, you were overwhelmed with your lectures as you were a maximalist and wanted to give 100% in everything. You enjoyed learning and finding new topics but the assignments, the presentations, and the exams stressed you out incredibly. You did not apply for any further study at least at the moment as you wanted to rest a little bit and work somewhere till you find out what you really wanted to achieve in life. 

The first week went by quite easily, as the teachers mostly talked about the syllabus and what you can expect from the rest of the semester. Thankfully, everyone seemed kind of nice except your Italian teacher and his lesson, which you took up as an optional course in the first place since you wanted to earn some extra credits. Now, it seemed like a bad decision. The teacher was old, who did not enjoy his teaching at all. It was difficult to follow and boring, not to mention that he continually talked in Italian even though it was a beginner's course. When the others tried to tell him, he became mad and gave out even more assignments for next week.

So now, that you were sitting in class and waited for him the nervousness which you felt was understandable. You were chatting with one of your classmates who sat behind you. You could not say that you had any friends. You were mostly alone in your whole life, which sometimes was a curse, while other times it was a blessing. You opened up for so many people who disappointed you and let you down that this was the safest way of living your life now. Just talk to someone if necessary, otherwise living your life as you wish. Sometimes it was really depressing as there was basically no one to talk to, you could not share any interest with someone, not your desires, your goals, nothing. Even when you did, you became the focus of mockery.

Suddenly everyone became silent as most certainly, the teacher approached into the room. However, when you turned around your last week's grumpy teacher was nowhere to be found, instead of him, you meet with a totally different man. You looked straight him into the eye as you took up his presence. He was tall, he had a skinny physique but you could certainly see that he was muscular, even though the black shirt and jeans he wore covered his entire body. He had dark, semi-long hair which was slicked back, while he also had dark stubble, which was framing his face aesthetically. Now, his dark brown eyes laid on you and it was like it burned a hole into your soul. He had some characteristic which you could not explain, but you were sure that he was attractive. Very much. And exactly your type. Not to mention that he was older than you, around his mid-30s - early 40s, which you thought was the perfect age as you were always fond of older men.

"Uhm... hey everyone" he started as he finally looked away from you to gaze at the others as well. His voice sent shivers down your spine. It was deep and husky. "I'm John Wick and I'll substitute your last teacher, who became ill. He will turn up as soon as he feels like it, but we don't know when that will happen," he stated. Maybe, the previous teacher would have been better. Now, it will be really hard to focus and now you wanted to study even more just to impress him, which is sounded insane. You immediately started to curse yourself in your head because what you did was completely silly.

"I'm not by any means an Italian teacher, but I'm fluent in Italian, as I've lived in Italy and since this is a beginner's and optional course I thought I will be just as good for this short time as Y/LT/N would have been." as he finished he clapped his palms together, facing towards the desk which now became his. "Firstly, let's start with an introduction and what your goals are, and from that on we can move with the rest of the lecture," he said and turned and pointed towards you. This gesture was unexpected for you and you immediately felt that your cheeks burned up as you tried to collect yourself. You were a great student but you were dealing with anxiety when you had to speak in front of others. Your mind and desires were totally different that you could actually manage out from yourself, and this was true in every situation.

"Uhm..." you started as you cleared your throat. "I'm Y/N and I'm a final year student here. To be honest, I don't really have many goals at the moment, because..." the way he was looking at you completely took your breath away. It was like he sees all of your secrets. "...I want to take a little bit of break from studying after I've finished. I want to work somewhere, see the word. Just those cliché things that usually everyone says." he started to chuckle and honestly, it was the best thing ever.

"Thank you, Y/N" the way your name rolled out of his tongue was beautiful. "I hope everything turns out great for you and one day you even get to Italy as well." he smiled and turned to the next person, so the magic moment you felt completely disappeared within a second. He was just nice. With everyone. He listened to everyone's word with actual interest and wished something friendly before turning to the next person. How could you think that he sees something different in you?

The course actually ended sooner than you would expect, the time flew with him. He gave you a short assignment for next week, collecting all those things you would like to talk about in Italian. On your way out you glazed at him once more, however, his eyes were glued to the paper in front of him. You left out a soft sigh as you left the room.

*

This was the first time in your college years that you really waited for a lecture but at the same time, you also dreaded from it. You could not wait to meet John again or you could say Mr. Wick, but this just fueled your fantasy about him even more. You were sitting in the front row with your classmates, whom you talked about your new teacher. They were eagerly fond of him, but not as you did. Even though they find him attractive, he was just a teacher for them. However, for you, he started to become something else. You could feel something different from him and you thought that he should not be a teacher because it was just not his field. Not that he was a bad teacher or anything, but he was not that teacher type that you could imagine. You felt something which you could not explain. You were always a curious person, and this case was like a puzzle that needed to be solved.

"Buona sera a tutti! (Good evening, everyone!)" he greeted, his eyes lingering on you. You did not want to look away, so the two of your's gaze intertwined with each other for a few seconds. You managed to smile a little bit, but at that same time, he turned away. He was just as good looking as the last time, wearing a light grey t-shirt, regular jeans, and a leather jacket. How could he be this handsome?

"Okay, let's go through those things which you like to learn about, and then we can build the lecture from there." everyone nodded as he said it, preparing their notes on what they would be interested in learning in this course. Your eyes were glued on your paper, your head tilted down trying to avoid eye contact with him when you heard your name.

"Y/N" he stated. "Let's start with you just like last time." you were quite shocked. Nobody managed to remember their students' names in the first weeks. Hell, sometimes not even at the end of the semester either. You looked up at him, seeing his face focusing on you, slightly furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

"Ordering food..." you breathed out and you started to blame yourself immediately.

"Ordering food in Italian in a restaurant?" he helped you out, stating as it was a declarative sentence, but he shifted the tone in the end. You were grateful for his help. You nodded and he returned a smile to ease your frustration. "Nice, good idea," he said. "Let's move on."

*

The first months of the semester went by rapidly. The first two weeks was just a warm-up, but after that assignments came after assignments as so did exams and such. You could not fantasize about Mr. Wick anymore in your free time as you were loaded with anxiety to finish every task just in time. However, you always waited for the class, even though your mind wandered somewhere else. Thankfully, about two weeks spring break will come.

"You can handle your assignments on your way out. That's the end of the class. Thank you everyone." he said and at that point, you realized that you completely forgot about your essay which you should have written for today. You thought that is due next week. Well, fuck. Basically, everyone handled in their assignment, as you approached John you became very nervous. You did not really know what to say.

"Jonathan" the words fell out of your lips without thinking. You realized that what you said was rude and you just tried to make the situation better, even though your teacher's expression did not change. "John... I mean Mr. Wick." you cursed yourself, trying to get out of the situation somehow.

"Yes, Y/N?" he asked, as he was looking down at you. He was so much taller than you, the way he looked consumed your whole being.

"I'm so sorry but I forgot to write my essay for this week. I thought it was due to next week. I'm sorry." you jabbered, looking at your feet to ease your nervousness.

"It's okay, Y/N," he said calmly. "You can handle it next week as well." when you looked up at him he was slightly smiling. That damn smirk made butterflies in your stomach, causing your heart rate to quicken.

"Really?" you asked back. "No punishments?" without thinking, the question just rolled out of your tongue.

He turned his head a little bit, trying to hide his ever-growing smile.

"Would you like to?" you started to blush at his deep voice, thinking about something inappropriate when he clearly was just talking about the assignment.

"No..." you answered. "Not for an essay, no." you just started to make everything worse. You wished that the ground would swallow you on the spot.

"Periodt then," he said to ease the tension a little bit. "Or whatever slang you use these days." You genuinely started to laugh, and it was really good after a long time. Nobody made you laugh these days and it was really nice to talk to someone besides listening to lectures all the time.

"Wow, I'm impressed" it was just absurd to hear this word from his mouth. But you really felt this way.

"My goal is accomplished than" was all he answered. Was he flirting with you? You just wished that. But the whole situation was just weird. Just the way you felt like before. He is not in the right place, something is off with him. You learned these few signals over the years just to protect yourself, still, something keeps attracted you to him.

"I'll try to write it as soon as I can and bring you in your office hours." you smiled shyly.

"It's okay, Y/N, don't worry about it" he smiled back and that smile made you go crazy. You turned your back to him to leave the room. You were standing in the door when you suddenly turned back towards him once again. He was still watching you.

"Thank you, Mr. Wick," you said, waiting for no answer when he said:

"You can call me Jonathan or John. Whichever you like." you were just standing there, completely in shock. This never happened to you before. None of your previous teachers of yours allowed to call them on their first name. To be honest, you did not even try but with John, it just slipped out. You did not know what to say so you just nodded, leaving him standing there watching after you.

*

The rest of the week was awful. You could not wait for the weekend when you could rest a little bit. You were extremely overwhelmed with work and it seemed that nothing wants to work out for you. It was Friday morning, thankfully you did not have any classes left so you finally could work on your assignment for Mr. Wick. You meant, Jonathan. Thinking about him and the way he said that you can call him on his first name made your heart beat faster. Since that day you could not stop thinking about him, which is why everything became harder than it should have been.

It was around 11 in the morning, but you already did a lot of work. You went to the store, then you cooked something for you for the weekend, you cleaned the house as well as doing the laundry. Your roommate was not home, as usual. Since she got that boyfriend of hers, they always spent the time together. At least, you were alone and nobody could bother you. You always did the house chores anyway, as she not usually cleaned up. After everything fallen from your hands and you basically had to clean up twice, the last task was taking out the trash. You somehow managed to take all of her and your trash into three bags. You were already on your way out when you realized that something from one of the bags was leaking. You started to become really angry and mad. At the edge of crying and breaking something, to say the least. You tried to hold back yourself together, taking a deep breath and hoping that the bag will hold on till you reached the bin in front of the street. As it was mentioned before, this was not your day.

Half of the stuff fallen on the ground just when you dumped the rest of it into the trash.

"FUCK" you cried out, hitting the top of the trash and also kicking into it to release those pressure which started to build up in you.

"Y/N" you heard a deep voice behind you. When you turned around you realized that John was there. Who probably watched the previous scene when you freaked out. What was he doing here? "You need any help?"

"Mr. Wick" you started but he interrupted you.

"John."

"Yes, John." you started. "This isn't my day. Could you please wait here as I get another bag?" you asked. You could just said that everything was fine and he could go on his day. But no. Because you did not want him to leave, even though you had no idea what was he doing here.

"Don't worry, I got some," he said while reaching for a plastic bag from his pockets. You lifted your eyebrow while he handed one to you as well as ripping one for himself. "I have a dog, so..." he said, while the two of you collected the rest of the trash. Well, this was not romantic at all. Your cheeks started to burn as you felt the situation kind of humiliating.

"What kind of dog you have?" you asked, trying to pick up the stuff as fast as you could.

"A blue English Staffordshire Bull Terrier" he breathed out when the two of you finally dumped away the rest of the trash.

"Oh, those are really nice dogs even though everyone seems to be afraid of them" you started the conversation and you could swear that his eyes lit up at your compliment.

"Oh, totally. They are super nice when they are raised well," he said smiling. "There are no bad dogs just bad owners." you just nodded, did not know what to say. A few seconds passed by just looking at each other, none of you said anything or moved.

"I should get..." he started, but at the same time, you started as well.

"Would you like a coffee or something in return?" you asked.

"Yeah, sure" he breathed but turned away from you to his car. Which you only realized just now. "Can I park here?" he asked as he gesticulated towards his Mustang. Your jaw just dropped.

"Wow. She's beautiful," you said coming closer to his car. You did not realize what you did until you actually did it. You reached out to touch the roof and at the same time approach John incredibly close. You just recognized that you did not answer his previous question. "And yes, I think you can park here but I'm not sure though."

He said nothing, just looking at you and monitoring every movement you made. He appreciated how your eyes were shining with excitement. Your fingertips which caressed his car so gently. Your hair, which slightly fallen into your face, framing it beautifully. You took his breath away.

"Would you like to try it out?" you did not really comprehend his question, as you were still focusing on his car. When the question finally hit you, you turned towards him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Is this allowed?" you asked. At this moment you wanted nothing more than him taking you out for a ride.

"Why wouldn't be allowed?" he asked back, kind of confused.

"Because you're my teacher." you simply answered back. At that moment you could swear that the smile frozen to his lips, like the reality hit him or something. Something was off. Just like you suspected before. "If you're a teacher at all," you added carefully.

"Who else would I be?" the confidence which was radiating from him started to slowly fade away. He was nervous, you could see that.

"I don't know, you just not seem to be a teacher type of guy." you started. "You don't look like it... and, surely, teachers cannot afford cars like this." you pointed towards his engine. In that second, he moved closer to you, which is why the air stuck in your throat. You looked up at him, his eyes were dark with some emotion which you could not read. You have not seen this side of him yet.

"Maybe, I got it as a gift" his voice comes through your fast heartbeat which was throbbing in your ear.

"I doubt it" you had no idea where this bravery was coming from, even you were surprised. Before he could manage to say something his phone started to ring. He pulled away from you to answer it.

"I'll be there," he said shortly, hanging up the phone. "Sorry, Y/N. I have to go." he was fast. Before you could realize he already got into his car. "Maybe next time," he added, and before you could realize he was already on his way leaving you on the sidewalk alone.

*

The next time you meet him was after his Italian class. You did not attend class, but you managed to arrive at the end of the session to give your essay to him. He was looking good as always, wearing dark clothes highlighting every muscle on his bare skin which was not covered.

"I'm sorry John that I couldn't come for today's class, but I had some family issues" you breathed out which was kind of true. You had family issues, anxiety issues, university issues, and just issues of issues. On top of that, you got a lot of anxiety attacks lately, which did not help you at all. Your hands were shaking as you handed your essay to him. "I know I said that I can manage to finish earlier but I couldn't," you added and he did not say a word. He did not even look at you as he took away the essay. You were heartbroken.

As he did not say anything else you just left the room completely taken aback, trying to suppress the tears which you could feel that going to burst out. When you arrived in the hallway, it was harder and harder to suppress it. You quickly went to the bathroom and when you closed the door behind you everything just came out. All of those tensions were building inside up you. Those feelings which constantly taken up your mind. That you're never good enough, that you have no one to rely on, not even a friend, not family. Nobody. You had nothing and no one. Besides that, you were constantly under stress because of the university. You wanted to perform as the best version of yourself, but you just could not hold back anymore.

After the tears came out and your breathing became a little bit better you went to the basin to wash your face with cold water and to make yourself a little bit more presentable as you still had class. You took a deep breath and got out to the next lesson. Everyone was waiting at the door as the room was not open yet. At this moment, one of your classmates who was kind of nice to you touched your arm.

"Hey, Y/N" she started. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Even though you appreciated her question, you did not know what to say.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" you lied, but it was enough for her to completely change the topic.

"Will you come to the party next week?"

"I don't know" you started. "I haven't really thought about it." as soon as you finished one of the other classmates of yours spoken up.

"She doesn't know because he is waiting for John. I mean, Mr. Wick," he said, bursting out into laughter. You did not know how he found out but your cheeks started to burn up.

"What did you just say?" you asked back, almost shouting at him when you heard the others whispering.

"Oh shit, here he comes," said one of them. When you turned back John was standing next to you. You were sure that he heard the whole conversation. When he looked at you his eyes stuck at your red ones. You were sure that he knew that you were crying. Even though the cold water helped, you still looked like a mess.

"Is there a problem?" he asked using his deep, "discipline" teacher voice. His voice was dangerously low, which sent a shiver down your spine and a feeling to your core which you tried not to think about.

"Not at all" smiled back the douchebag who started everything in the first place. John lightly grabbed your arm, turning his whole body towards you.

"Y/N, can we talk?" he whispered, but the others still managed to figure out the situation. As you answered, they started to chuckle, but at that point, you could not care less as John guided towards his office.

When there were just the two of you, he looked at you with concern on his face.

"Is everything all right, Y/N?" he asked but you just could not look at him. Your eyes were fixated on your shoes. Why would he care? He did not even look at you half an hour ago. You did not answer. You did not know what to say. He was your teacher. You could not tell him your problems even though you wanted to. "Y/N?" he asked again.

This time you looked up at him. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, waiting for your answer.

"I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Wick" you stressed his last name. A sudden expression went through his face which you could not read. "Why would you care, you're just a teacher anyway," you said without thinking of the consequences as you stormed out of his office.  

*

The last week before spring break went quite quickly even though you felt like a zombie. You did not attend your class with John, even though you desperately wanted to. You just skipped that class, while you were attending the others. You were hiding in the hallway, trying to avoid anyone. Just arriving at the beginning of the course and coming out as soon as you could. In this way, you could survive university. Now, thankfully you had a free week when you could charge up your battery and just rest a little. Your mind wandered at the party which your classmate mentioned to you, wondering if John would be there. A few teachers had to be there, because it was a university party and they were still responsible for you somehow.

You really wanted to go. To dance, to drink and to forget all of your problems.

That is why you were standing in front of your mirror trying to soothe imaginary creases on your black dress. You kept finding mistakes on yourself, about your makeup, about your hair. But at the same time, you kept reminding yourself that this is just a party and the main goal is that you should enjoy the night without constantly thinking bullshit about yourself.

This is what you kept saying in your head on your way to the party. The place was already buzzing with music and people's voices, radiating a certain kind of heat as well. As you step inside, you were already washed away by the crowd, seeing people who you never saw before.

As you looked around you saw a giant plaque that said that it was a retro vs. modern age night. All night, songs from the 80/90s were played, after that came a piece of current music and the whole mass went insane. Everybody moved as a whole in perfect sync swaying to the rhythm of the music. Sadly, you could see that a lot of people were high and drunk, which you could never do, but you still wanted to dance. You just started to move your body alone, when your all-time a favorite song started to play from the speakers.

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

I travel the world

And the seven seas,

Everybody's looking for something

At that point, your eyes stuck at a dark figure which you could recognize even in your dreams. John Wick was standing there, looking at you. He was wearing a full black suit with his hair slicked back. You were constantly gazing at him. Even though you wanted him to be here the whole situation was absurd and unbelievable. However, he still managed to surprise you all the time.

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused.

Looking at him and listening to these lines hit you. Hit you really hard. As you looked at him, all of your desires and hidden fantasies started to take over your body. Your nasty hidden feelings. All of those things which you could never share with anyone. You wanted to be used, you wanted to be abused. But you wanted these in a good way. You wanted this as a thing, where the two of you want this not just you. You wanted to be safe, you wanted to feel appreciated, you wanted to feel special, you wanted to be WANTED. You wanted a man, who makes you feel things you never felt before. Who does things to you and touches you like you never experienced before. Maybe, just the daddy issues were speaking from you but looking at John you could feel that he could fulfill all of your wishes and desires. Not to mention that he would be there for you as a friend, as a lover, even as a soulmate. And as someone, who just genuinely cares about you. At least, you hoped so. But it could never happen because he was just a teacher and you were just a silly student.

However, the way he was looking at you consumed your whole being. You did not know what happened to you but you started to sensually move your hips, turning your back to him to kind of show him what he can get.

After a few seconds, you felt a muscular, hard chest pushing against your body.

"Mind if I join?" a deep voice asked and you could recognize this tone everywhere. You did not even answer as you did not have to. You just turned back towards him, getting as close as possible. He was even more handsome up close, taking your breath away.

"Is this allowed?" you shouted, but it sounded like a whisper in the crowd.

He pulled you closer to him, resting his hands on your waist and tilting his head down to bury his face into your hair.

"I don't even care anymore" he answered, his breath caressing your ear as well as the side of your neck. This sent a shiver down your spine, causing your thighs to rub together to ease the sensation which was building in your core deep down. He could feel that your body tense up between his palms, but he kept you steady with his strong and firm hands.

"What does that mean?" he looked up at you, with some expression on your face which you could not read. He wanted to tell you something, you could see that but something changed as he looked at your side.

"Stay here," he said and suddenly his touch disappeared causing you to shiver as he was not there anymore.

You could barely react, but you still managed to see where he went to. Without thinking, you started to follow him.

 You looked at him everywhere when you find him outside the field of the campus. To be honest, you could barely see him but you could hear him grunting and... fighting? He was the last man standing with someone else, besides them, there were laying bodies. You could never dream of being a situation like this. You did not know what to do. You were completely frozen and could not move. Your panic started to take over your mind and you could barely manage your breathing.

"John" suddenly you cried out. He immediately looked at you, which the opponent took as a chance and hit him right in the gut. He sunk into his knees, while the other man started to approach you.

"Y/N run," he said but you could not even lift your finger. You could see as the other man was getting closer and closer to you when John grabbed him from behind and started to choke him. The other man started to run out of the air and suddenly collapsed into John's arms. John did not even think twice, he dropped the enemy onto the ground. Before you could realize, John grabbed your arm, dragging you across the field into the parking lot where you saw his car.

"Get in the car!" he ushered you, but you could barely move. You were completely frozen which was insane thinking that your body was on fire just a few minutes ago.

"Why?" you managed to push this word out of you when he started to yell.

"Get in the fucking car!" he said and that predatory look on his face with some bruises and blood made him look like a totally different person. You got in the car, slowly breathing out that air that you did not know you were holding. He started the engine and drive at a very high speed toward somewhere which you could not recognize.

"Where are you taking me?" your throat was dry. It was hard to speak, but this was the only sentence which you dared to ask after minutes.

"Home. To me," he answered shortly.

"Why?" you whispered but he could hear it. After minutes, you finally looked at him. He was holding the wheel so damn strong that his knuckles went white. He was angry, you could see that. His whole expression changed as he was not looking at you, just fixating his eyes on the road.

"Because you fucking messed up your goddamn life" to hear him swearing made you sense that you are truly in deep trouble.

"What did I do?" you asked softly and suddenly all of his muscles started to loosen up at your tone.

"I was taking out a gang when you just showed up, risking your whole life just to look after me." he started.

"So you..." you started softly as you could feel that the ice between the two of you started to melt. "You're not a teacher." was all you managed to say.

"God no," he answered, and before you could realize you started to laugh. It came from the bottom of your heart. He looked at you the first time, furrowing his brows. "It's not funny, Y/N.," he said and before you could stop yourself the following words just slip out of your mouth:

"Thank God, 'cause ever since I saw you I've kept telling myself that I can't fall for a teacher" as soon as you said it your cheek started to burn. He looked at you with piercing eyes.

"I'm not a teacher, but I'm way worse," he said in a dangerously low voice. And thinking back to those guys around him finally hit you.

"Who are you?" you whispered. He looked back at the road as he could not bear to see your expression when he told you the truth.

"I'm a ..." he started, but he did not want to say assassin. Because that was just too much the handle. "I'm the one who takes out the bad guys." you nodded, did not know what to do with this information. You have always known that there is something wrong with him, but you could not explain why. Now, this was the reason and you wished that you did not know. Still, you fell for him even more.

"Did you kill them?" you asked.

"No." he answered back. "I didn't have my gun." suddenly you felt that breathing becomes heavier.

"Have you killed someone?" you barely dared to ask this question but the heavy silence which felt on you told more than words.

 You did not say a word until he finally stopped at his garage. His house was beautiful, so big that it was unbelievable that it only belonged to him.

"Wow..." you whispered and he smiled.

"Y/N" he started and you turned towards him. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I just wanted to protect you. You'll stay here until I finish this business and make sure that no one harms you. After that, you're free to go." you did not know what to say. You wanted to say something, but you could not. Your mind wandered somewhere else, constantly thinking about what the two of you talked about in the car. You told him about your feelings and he did not even say anything. "I have a room for you here," he said and ushered you to a room, leaving you alone.

*

You could barely get some sleep. Your mind was constantly thinking about John and his life. How dangerously he lived and how he managed to keep his camouflage at the university. Honestly, you even cried that night as well. You did not know what to do and how to react, even though you wanted him. Your mind could not be silenced after you saw him in action and what he did you still thought about his arms, his hands, and his body as he pulled you closer to him at the party. Not to mention that you felt his goddamn intoxicating perfume in his whole house as well as in the sheets.

After being up all evening, you woke up late in the afternoon. It was already 5 when you looked at the clock on the nightstand on your left. You left out a sigh, focusing on sounds. But you could not hear any. You slowly got up and opened to the door.

“John?” you cried out but no answers came. Instead of that, you heard something which was running towards you. Then you saw John’s dog. “Oh my God, you’re so cute” you kneeled to the ground to pet the dog which was in its early months. It was still small, but you could see the strong, robust figure which started to form underneath its skin. “Where were you last night?” you asked as if the dog could answer you. However, after petting and talking to it all of your stress and doubts left the mind.

You went to the kitchen, where on the counter you found a note. It was written by John and he had beautiful handwriting.

“Make yourself at home.” was all it said. Straightforward. Just like John.

 After taking a shower and finding a long t-shirt in John’s wardrobe you finally sat down onto the sofa when the front door opened. John came in, the dog immediately cheered him licking and panting all over him. You watched the scene with a smile on your face. After John returned the same excitement as the dog, he finally looked at you. You were wearing one of his t-shirts. And that was it.

“What are you wearing?” he demanded. You stood up immediately, trying to explain yourself.

“You said that make yourself at home, so I’ve showered and searched for something to wear because the dress was really uncomfortable,” you said quickly. John left out a soft “oh” as he could have thought about this in the first place. Even though he did not want to admit, but he really liked the way it looked on you.

“Everything is clear now,” he stated simply. “I’m taking you home. Are you ready?” he asked and you were just standing there as if your legs got stuck into the ground.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” you started carefully, hinting to your previous unfinished conversation last night as well how he “cleared everything up”.

“No.” was all he said which felt like ripping and turning up your insides. You just nodded, turning away to suppress all of your emotions. That’s it. All of your fantasies about this man ended. He did not want to do anything with you. This was just business after all. And he finished it.

“I’m grabbing my stuff” you whispered, your throat was dry you could barely speak.

 After collecting your dress and purse you were standing in front of him again. “Take me home,” you said firmly when his form started to loosen up.

“Y/N” he followed you as you were heading into the garage. His beautiful car was there, standing next to another one.

“Just take me home.” was all you said before he grabbed your wrist, pulling back to him and pushing his lips against yours. The kiss was not a soft one. It was passionate and hard. It took a few milliseconds to react, but gosh… it was desperate. From the two of you. Teeth clicked, tongues rolled against each other as the two of you started to express which words could not. He was cupping one of your cheeks, pushing you closer to him as much as he could. Your hands started to explore his body, caressing the soft material of his suit. You could feel as he started to harden beneath your touch, basically… everywhere. Just like in a second, which made you even more insane. He wanted you so much, he could barely hold himself back. He was rucking up your shirt with his other hand, grabbing your waist strongly which sent goosebumps all over your body. His touch was just like you imagined. No… it was even better. It took a side of you which you did not even know you had.

You could feel that you started to wet your panties even though he did not even touch you there yet. He was now kissing you a little bit softer but still passionately, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You started to moan as it did whole new sensations to your body which you never experienced before. He lifted you up from the ground before you could realize, to make you sit on the hood of his car. At that exact moment, you hooked your legs around his legs, pulling him closer to you. It was insane how the two of you moved in sync. It was like a perfect dance and choreography, even though you have not done this before to the other. But still, it was like you found a long lost piece from yourself. And he felt the same. The two of you did not stop kissing until his hands reached up to your neck, softly squeezing it to make out a moan from you which you could not even stop. John immediately stopped looking at you with concern on his face.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly looking at your neck if he caused any injuries. He did not even know what he has done until you moaned.

“Gosh no,” you started to laugh and blush. “It just… felt really good.” his eyes lit up with lust. It became even darker than it already was. He was looking at you, constantly holding his gaze when he reached again to your neck. He squeezed it a little bit harder this time, but it was even better. Your eyes rolled back as your core started to throb with desire.

“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed at the sight. “You’re making me insane.” was all he said before sinking to his knees. He pulled you closer to him, making you lay on the edge of his car. He looked so good kneeling between your thighs. And he looked even better when he started to stroke your clit through your underwear. He sharply sucked the air just by the sight of it.

You were laying on his car in your black lace panties. This was even better than he could ever dream for. He was holding himself back, but he was about to burst out.

“You look so good,” he said as he pushed your panties to the side to insert one finger slowly into you. You laid back all the way on his car as he started to finger your inside with one hand and your clit with his other one. You bite your lip to hold your moans back, but it was a really difficult thing to do. As he was so freaking good with his hand. You could barely hold yourself back when suddenly he pulled his finger out of you. Before you could realize, your panties were on the floor, and John grabbed your thighs to draw you closer to him. Now, he used his tongue instead of his fingers to play with your wetness, causing you to arch your back pushing your backside closer to his face. He grabbed your ass firmly with his hands, he wanted to control and drive you insane. He could not let you chase for your own pleasure. He wanted to make your pleasure. He wanted to make you lose your mind. He wanted you to scream his name.

He was flicking his tongue, constantly changing position between your clit and inside thing, delving his tongue deeper and deeper. You were moaning, making sounds, saying his name with some curse words as well. You were right. He truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

Suddenly, your most intense orgasm ever washed over you out of nothing, clenching all over John’s hands and tongue as he was still fucking you mercilessly with it to help over your after wave. Your hands were still grabbing his hair, rocking your hips against his face.

“Jonathan,” you said after a few seconds when he stood up, looking at you laying on his car finally satisfied. You sit up to push a soft kiss against his lips, which on you could feel your juices. Which caused you to be even hornier. As it was possible.

“I love when you say my name” he chuckled which made your stomach flop from happiness. “That is why I can’t wait to hear you screaming it,” he added with a dangerously low voice.

“Can I ask you something, Jonathan?” you said carefully, pulling him closer to you.

“Anything, doll” he answered.

“Then, fuck me” you whispered shyly. You did not know where this bravery was from, but John truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

“You don’t even have to ask,” he said as you started to undress him. His expensive suit and tie dropped onto the floor and the same time he removed the t-shirt and bra which you were still wearing as well.

He took your whole body in and admired every sight of it.

“You’re beautiful,” he said before pressing another urgent kiss to your lips. He grabbed your hair, making you moan into his mouth at how good all of this felt. At that exact moment, he thrust into you and your whole world rocked. He stretched you all the way up, cause you to cry out his name louder than you anticipated.

“Tell me if it hurts” he added and you couldn’t form a single word because the pleasure mixed with all the pain, caused to build your second orgasm and he was restlessly fucking you. You were a moaning mess, so is he. He was grunting and cursing as the two of you started to reach climax.

“Ah, fuck-“you cried out as your walls started to clench. “Let me cum, Mr. Wick” you added and you could actually feel that Jonathan is twitching inside of you. He suddenly stopped and grabbed your neck, ushering you to look at him.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

“Which part?” you asked shyly, thinking that it was a mistake and you’ve ruined everything.

“All of it.”

“Let me cum, Mr. Wick,” you looked straight into his eyes when you said it. The fact that you’re biting your bottom lip didn’t help him at all.

“Gosh…” he huffed and continued to mercilessly pound into you, deeper and deeper each time. You were overwhelmed with the new sensations and your whole-body shake, when the second, but most intense orgasm of the night hit you. John was approaching his own climax as well, every thrust of his became a little bit sloppier and out of pace. He kissed you so softly, when he reached his own pleasure, moaning into your mouth which sent a vibration down to your body. You tensed your legs around his waist, taking him in more while lying down on the top of his car.

“I’m sorry we made a mess,” you whispered and he started to chuckle.

“Don’t worry about that, especially that we’re only getting started,” he said in a dangerously low voice. And oh boy, he was right…

*

This is it. It was the end of suffering. End of your university years. As for now. You couldn’t be happier as you’ve left the building and saw a beautiful mustang parked on the driveway. It was from John Wick. You were quite surprised as he said that he has to leave the town for some… business. You didn’t expect him to be back this soon. Now, you’re smile grew even bigger.

“Here is my graduated girl,” he smiled at you and pressed a soft, loving kiss to your lips when you got next to him. You gave him a half-hug in this position, laughing into his shoulders.

“I did it.”

“Yes, you did,” he said, looking straight into your eyes now. He took out an envelope from his jacket. “I brought you this,” he said softly, and you were surprised.

“John, you shouldn’t…” but he cut you off.

“Just open it!” and you did. You carefully ripped off the edges taking out two flight tickets to Italy. Tears started to gather in your eyes.

“John…” you started but you didn’t even know how to begin. He also became emotional, as he looked at you.

“At our first Italian class, you’ve said that you want to see the world. I hope this will be a good start.” you didn’t know how you got a man like John, but it was more than you deserved.

“I love you, John,” you breathed out and this was the first time you’ve actually said this. He looked at you and his whole expression changed, suddenly his body tensed up. You suddenly became afraid that you said something wrong. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe…

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said finally and he pressed a kiss into your lips which told more than words. This was just the beginning. The very beginning of your life and also the adventure, which you continued with John Wick till the very end.