#(this a whole twilight zone of a woman)

[oflgtfol]

feel like im in the twilight zone

[liroyalty]

"Oooh edgy~ Cute~"

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Mistakes

Summary: You were tired of men making decisions for you. Even though they had your best interest at heart, all they ended up doing was breaking your heart more and more. After reuniting Joel with his brother Tommy (your Ex who left the QZ without telling anyone including you) in a town called Jackson and an overdue argument with Joel Miller you finally confess your feelings for him, spending the night with the older brother, only to wake up alone in an empty house with him and Ellie gone.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader (former Tommy Miller x fem. reader)

Wordcount: 6.4k

Rating: E

Warnings: angst, pining, feelings, Joel Miller not being good at those feelings, past heartbreak, current heartbreak, mentioned of miscarriage, more angst, also some smut (unprotected sex), kissing, mentions of violence, stitches, blood

A/N: this summary sucks but I have no idea how to make it better. Let’s hope the fics doesn’t suck like it lmao

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It was like entering the twilight zone when the gates opened.

People were wandering the streets with smiles on their faces. You could hear children's laughter. Some people stopped and nodded towards you as you passed by them on the horse the people who had found you had put you on. 

Your gaze always slipped back to Ellie and Joel in front of you. Watching them closely. 

The woman who had talked to Joel, Maria, had not given you much more information other than to follow them after she learned Joel’s name and that he was looking for his brother Tommy. 

But you had seen in her face that she recognised the name. 

If you were honest with yourself you never believed you would really find him. Tommy. 

It had been such a long time since Joel had heard from him last and the only reason you agreed to join him in his search for Tommy was because you were scared of losing the last connection you had to your previous life. 

Tommy, Joel and you grew up together. 

When you thought of them you thought of summers at the Miller’s pool. Of thirteen year old Joel trying to teach five year old you how to swim while six year old Tommy kept trying to pull you under the water. 

The little shit. 

Of course as you turned older your interests changed, yet you all still managed to spend at least a week of the summer break together out for mischief. 

And then it all changed when Tommy Miller kissed you. 

It was after Joel left for College and if you were honest with yourself you had been crushing on him for a while at that point. 

You and Tommy had been together for two years before you found him kissing another girl. 

God, you had been so heartbroken back then. 

He had been your first real boyfriend and a tiny part of you thought he'd be the man you would marry and have kids with. Sixteen year old you had her life planned out to the dot. 

It had taken years for you to accept him as a friend again. 

Joel and you had become closer in the meantime. He’d told you all about his plans to open his own business and that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend. 

You were also the first person he told when he learned that he’d become a father. 

He had been scared but so happy. 

And you knew from the moment you saw him hold Sarah for the first time, that he would move heaven and earth for his little girl. Nothing would stay in his way. Not when his girlfriend left him with a toddler, not when both of his parents died, leaving him to deal with everything on his own. 

Sarah was his whole world. 

Until the world ended. 

The years after that were dark and painful. That was the excuse you used, that you needed to feel something different for at least a little moment, when you started to sleep with Tommy again. 

Which went on for years even after you made it to the QZ.

Until he left without a word. 

Leaving you and his brother again to pick up the pieces. 

“Tommy!” you heard Joel shout and your eyes followed his gaze, his horse stopping as he jumped off. 

He looked different. Older than you remembered him. But there walking down the steps was indeed Tommy Miller. 

Joel had found him. 

His eyes found yours as he hugged his brother, whispering your name in disbelief. 

For a moment, a small moment you were beyond relieved to find him alive and well. Anger replaced that feeling pretty quickly. He was alive and well and in a fucking functioning town without ever sending a fucking message?

You had stopped counting how often you had been almost killed on this mission to find him because Joel and you thought something had happened to him and he needed saving. 

You closed your eyes, swallowing your anger, finding Ellie watching you when your eyes opened again. 

“Let’s have something to eat,” Maria said next to you and you gave her a sharp nod, leaving the Miller brothers behind. 

You hated the fact that you cried when you were angry. 

Tears were streaming down your face as you showered under the warmest fucking water you had felt in years, scrubbing your body furiously. 

The nerve he had. 

Not only was he perfectly fine, no he was married and about to be a father. 

You didn’t like the way his wife Maria kept glaring at Joel not trying to be sneaky about it. 

You could only imagine what he had told her.

He used to blame Joel for what you all had done after the outbreak on your way to the Boston QZ. You had always argued about it in the privacy of the shitty apartment you shared back in the QZ. Because Tommy was a fully grown man when he killed those people. He could have stopped and left. But it was easier to blame someone else for the decisions he was too scared or cowardly to make. 

You could only hope that you’d be out of here first thing in the morning before you’d explode. 

Of course life had other plans. 

You walked into the house across the street just as Maria tried to warn Ellie about Joel. 

“But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel,” you heard Maria say. You stopped outside the window to listen.

“Oh, like how he used to kill people? I know about that,” Ellie said.  

“So then you understand my concern.”

“He doesn't do that anymore,” Ellie defended him. 

“He stopped killing people?” Maria asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Innocent ones. And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?” 

You chose that moment to walk into the house, finding Ellie sitting in the kitchen, Maria cutting her hair. 

“Tommy was following Joel. The way you are now,” Maria said looking at you. 

“No offence but you have no idea what you are talking about,” you said and she raised her eyebrow. 

“I think I do,” she said, putting the scissors down. 

“Yeah? You are comparing a fourteen year old girl to a fully grown man who had all the time in the world to step away and stop what we did back then. But he didn’t. He never stops. He’s a fucking…” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath. 

“He told me about you. About how he regrets leaving without a word,” Maria said. 

You scoffed. 

“Sure he does. He always regrets doing things after he did them. That’s why he never sent word that he’s alive.”

“That’s my fault. And he didn’t know that you’d be coming to look for him,” she said.

“That’s what family does. We look out for each other. But maybe we’re not family anymore. Come on Ellie,” you said and she got up from the chair immediately, walking towards you. 

“Stop,” Maria said and you sighed. 

“I’ll take her to the movies and you…. I think you, Joel and Tommy need to talk.”

“You’re angry,” Joel looked up at you as you sat down next to him. He was trying to fix his boots. 

“I thought I wasn’t anymore but…. Fuck look around this place? I’m just so… Fuck I really want to punch him,” you groaned and Joel chuckled. 

“I know the feelin’,” he sighed. 

You let your head fall against his shoulder, closing your eyes. 

You felt his lips on your temple. 

„You gonna tell him?“ He whispered. Your opened your eyes, shaking your head. 

„Don’t think he would care,“ you mumbled. 

„I think you would be surprised,“ he said quietly.

You both sat there in silence for a moment. 

„I’m weak,“ Joel said after a moment. You sat yourself up, your head turning to look at him. 

„What do you mean?“ 

He sighed, not looking up at you as he focused on fixing his shoes. 

„Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and... my heart... feels like it's stopped. And I have dreams. Every night,“ he said quietly. 

You carefully put your hand on his shoulder.

„What kinda dreams?“

„I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up... I've lost somethin’,“ you saw the tears in his eyes. You knew something had changed in the last weeks. He was more quiet, staring of in the distance when he thought you weren’t looking. 

„I'm failin' in my sleep. That's all I do. It's all I've ever done is fail her again and again. I fail you again and again. I see you die ever single night in my dreams and I…“ you put your arms around his shoulders, tears running down your cheeks. 

„I can’t protect you anymore,“ he whispered and you tensed.

„I’m gonna… I’m gonna ask Tommy to take her. I’m just gonna get her killed. Both of you. I know it. I have to leave…“ you did not give him a chance to continue, jumping up from your position. 

„You gonna ask Tommy to take her? What about me? You gonna just…. Let him take me too? Because you know I won’t leave her. We’re all she has Joel,“ you said, your voice getting louder. 

„You could stay here. It’s safe. You would be safe…“ he said but you shook your head. 

„Stay here with Tommy? Super happy Tommy who finally got the right woman pregnant?“ You yelled. 

He said your name, pleading but you shook your head. 

„You know, I should have seen this coming. I knew I would end up alone. First him, now you… I really thought that you felt…“ you shook your head, „How silly of me to think it would be different with you…“ you laughed bitterly, stubbornly brushing the tears away. 

You took a deep breath. 

„One day you are gonna wake up and realise that the only reason why you feel so alone, is because you pushed everyone away. Because you think you don’t deserve to be cared for. Tommy, Ellie…. Me….,“ you shook your head before you looked at him. 

„Don’t bother asking Tommy. I’m gonna leave with her first thing in the morning. You’ll never gonna see either of us again,“ you said before you turned around, ignoring him calling after you, hoping you’d made it back to the house before you broke down. 

You hadn’t even crossed the street when you heard your name being called, Tommy’s familiar voice startling you. 

You just walked faster, not bothering to stop. 

„Please just…“ you felt his hand on your shoulder and you whirled around, glaring up at the man you once loved so much. 

„Leave me alone,“ you gritted through your clenched teeth, before turning away from him. 

„It’s what you Miller’s do best,“ you called over your shoulder before you made your way back to the house. 

You laid awake in bed when you heard the door open. 

You had told Ellie in the most gentle way that it would only be you who would take her to the fireflies. Of course she had questions, and you promised her to answer every single one once you were on the road. 

She had fallen asleep rather quickly before you made your way to the biggest bedroom. You just laid down on the bed, fully clothed staring at the ceiling as the hours passed by. 

You were broken, you had been for a long time. 

The only thing you could always count on to keep you going was Joel. 

He was your rock and part of you always thought you were his. Even when he was with Tess or any other women. At the end of the day, once he needed someone to talk, to really talk to, he always came to you. 

He held you when you found out you were pregnant after Tommy left. 

He was there when you woke up in pain, he was there when you found out you lost the baby.

He was always there. 

And along the way you fell in love with him. 

You turned your head to look at Joel who was standing in the door just looking at you. 

It was like there was something in the air all of the sudden, the hairs on your neck standing up as his eyes moved over your body, his gaze lingering on your lips. 

„I’m sorry,“ he said quietly, slowly walking towards you. 

When you didn’t say anything as he stopped in front of the bed he slowly sat down, reaching for one of your hands. You were too tired to fight him.  

„You were right,“ he started, his thumb running over the back of your hand, his head turned down. 

„I keep pushing you away because I’m so fucking scared to lose someone else I…,“ he shook his head. 

„I care about. I care about you so much, it scares me. It would kill me if something happened to you, because I was to weak to protect you. And I… I can’t lose you. I just can’t. I wanna keep you safe and….“

„Joel….“ You interrupted him and he looked at you as you slowly sat yourself up so you were kneeling on the bed next to him. You reached the hand he was not holding up, your fingers brushing over his cheek, his eyes closing slowly as he released a shuddering breath. 

Your hand lingered on his skin, your fingertips rubbing over the corner of his lips and his eyes flipped open, finding yours. 

„You know I love you, right?“ You whispered and his eyes softened for a small moment, before he nodded. 

„Then please let me in and let me love you,“ you said before you leaned in and kissed him softly.

He tensed for a moment before one of his hands came to the back of your head, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer, his other hand on your back. 

„Joel,“ you gasped, your hands pulling at his shirt until he parted from you, taking his shirt off. You let your hands wander up your chest before you pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in just your old bra.

„Fucking beautiful,“ he whispered before he kissed you again, slowly leaning over you until you were laying in bed with him above you. 

Joel slowly kissed down your throat, your chest until he gave all his attention to your breasts. He sucked on your nipples through the thin worn fabric of your bra until you sat yourself up, almost making him fall off the bed, both of you laughing as you took it off, a groan leaving his mouth, one of his hands palming himself. You bit into your bottom lip before you got closer to him, your fingers opening his belt buckle, then his pants. 

He stopped you before you could get any further. 

„Let me make you feel good first,“ he whispered, kissing you forehead. 

„Later,“ you said, looking at him, something in his eyes darkening as he saw the lust in yours. 

Within seconds you both were naked and he just looked at you in awe as he knelt between your parted legs. 

His hands wandered up your thighs, his fingers running shivers over your whole body, your back arching. 

„Please Joel,“ you whispered, your hands coming to rest on his hips until he finally leaned down and kissed you, one of his hand wrapped around his cock as he swiped the head through your wet pussy, teasing your clit with it, making you moan.

He lined himself up, kissing you deeply as he slowly entered you inch by inch, both of you panting against each others mouths.

„Shiiiit, you feel perfect. Fucking perfect,“ he grunted before he began to move, thrusting slowly inside of you, his arms wrapped around your body, his lips all over you. 

No matter how close he was, you wanted him closer, your arms wrapped around his back, pulling him against you as he continued to fuck you deeply. 

He kissed away the tears that escaped your eyes, overwhelmed at finally being so close to him. Holding him. Feeling him. 

He made you cum twice before he pulled out and came with a groan of your name, his cum spilling all over your stomach. 

He cleaned you up after, holding you close, kissing you until you fell asleep. 

While he watched over you, praying to whatever god there still was, that you would forgive him. 

You didn’t stir when Joel left your bed after he watched you sleep until the room slowly filled with light at the upcoming sunrise. 

You didn’t feel it as he kissed your forehead before he slowly got up from the bed and got dressed, grabbing his bag. 

You didn’t hear his whispered „Forgive me“ as he stepped out of the room.

You were sleeping so deeply you didn’t even hear Eliie argue as Joel walked her out of the house.

Not looking back towards the house you were sleeping in. 

The first thing you noticed was that you were warm. You hadn’t felt warm in a long time. Smiling to yourself you slowly opened your eyes, frowning immediately as you noticed how bright it was outside. 

Your eyes found the old cock on the bedside table, widening as you noticed that it was already around noon. 

„Shit,“ you cursed, your head now turning to the other side of the bed where Joel had laid next to you only to find it empty. 

A uneasy feeling washed over you as you took the room in, finding it vacant of anything that belonged to Joel. 

Suddenly fully awake you jumped out of bed, dressing yourself within seconds before you walked out of the room and across the hallway opening the door to the room Ellie had been asleep in. 

Empty. 

Your breath came in short pants, your throat squeezing tight, the beginnings of a panic attack making their entrance as your hands started to shake. 

Shaking your head you tried to get your lungs to fill with air, your back leaning against the wall behind you. 

Tears were springing into your eyes.

He wouldn’t just leave you after last night. Right?

Not after he….

A knock on the door let you jump up, running down the stairs, opening the door to find the wrong Miller brother standing in front of it, his expression one you could read without words. 

„He’s gone, isn’t he?“ You whispered. 

Tommy only nodded. 

Taking a deep breath you looked up towards the ceiling, shaking your head slowly. 

„Talked to the council. You can stay here as long as you want. Gotta take up some work at some point but there’s no rush…“

You scoffed. 

„You must be really delusional if you think I am going to stay here,“ you said, looking at him. You were still angry, but more so tired. Tired of always being the second choice.

He said your name, almost pleading. 

„I’m sorry for not telling you before I left. I thought it was easier to just… rip the bandaid off. I knew you’d be okay. You’re one of the strongest people I ever met. And I… I just couldn’t stay there with Joel and….“

You wanted to tell him then. 

To tell him that he broke that strong person he thought you were. 

Finding out the day after he left that you were pregnant with his child, broke you. 

And you couldn’t tell him that to this day you blamed that the stress of him leaving made you lose the baby you never got to meet. 

It wouldn’t help anyone to tell him. 

„I am going to get my stuff and I want a horse and some supplies. Then I’ll be out of here. I can’t keep doing this…“ you said. 

„No, No please stay. I want to… I want to make this right between us. I promised Joel I…“ Tommy began, but you held a hand up, stopping him. 

„Maybe you and your brother should try talking to me before making all the decisions for me. A horse and some supplies. You owe me that much. After that I’ll make sure we never cross ways again,“ you didn’t wait for his reply, turning around and marching up the stairs to pack your stuff. 

An hour later you were settled on top of a horse called Diamond. Tommy had gotten you the supplies you asked for, even a first aid kid and walked next to you as the gate opened. 

„Where are you gonna go?“ He asked. 

„Away,“ you only answered, even though you had a clear destination in mind, before you took one last look at him. You saw his wife standing on the end of the street, watching you. 

As you looked back at Tommy you realised that you felt nothing for the man who was looking up at you now.

„I know you love him,“ he startled you. 

„Pretty sure he loves you too, so once you found him, don’t be too hard on him. We Miller’s a stubborn bunch of people who only want to protect the people we love. Even if it ends up hurting them even more,“ he said, keeping his eyes on you. 

„Take care of your wife,“ was all you said before you kicked your legs to ride out of Jackson. 

The town you found shelter in seemed abandoned enough to rest until this blizzard passed by. It should’t be more than a days ride to the university of the fireflies now, but you could not make it in this storm. So you bunked down in a abandoned house, the windows and doors already barricaded making sure Diamond, your horse, had something to drink and eat in the garage before you bunked down in the surprisingly tidy house next to it. 

You even found some food, including long expired peaches that brought a small smile to your face as you thought about how much Ellie would love them. 

It was on the next morning that you heard a noise outside. You made your way into the garage, finding Diamond getting nervous too.

You petted her nose before you slowly risked a glance outside of the broken window of the garage, your eyes widening when through the heavy snow falling outside, you could make Ellie out on top of a horse. 

You put your jacket on and opened the door, startling the girl who now had her riffle pointed at you. 

You held your hands up and her shoulders fell as she realised who you were, starting to sob. 

It was then that you noticed that the horse she was sitting on, was dragging something behind it, the air leaving your lungs one one gasp as you realised that it was Joel.

And he was not awake.

„How long?“ You asked Ellie, willing your fingers to warm up as you dug through your first aid kit. 

Ellie had helped you carry Joel inside. Now she was sitting on the little sofa, her tears still running down her cheek as she watched you. 

„Three hours ago? Maybe more? I don’t know. We… We were at the university and we…. We were almost out when that man….“

You were closer to the university than you thought then.

You were dying to walk over to her to soothe her, but Joel was your first priority. He looked very pale, his lips blue from the cold. With shaking fingers your unzipped his jacket, fighting down the whimper as you saw how much blood he was still loosing, your hand immediately pressing down to stop the bleeding.

Ellie had made a good job with the bandage she had put on his wound. 

He didn’t even stir. 

„It was a broken baseball bat. He… he pulled it out and he was okay at first but then he… he… he fell and now he’s not….“

„Ellie,“ you said and she looked at you with wide wet eyes. 

„You did the right thing. He shouldn’t have pulled it out but there’s nothing we can do about it now. I am… I am gonna try to fix him, okay?“ You said, nodding as if to make yourself believe that you could. 

She mirrored you.

„Can I help?“ Ellie asked. 

„There’s a bathroom upstairs. Get as many towels as possible and then get a bucket with snow from outside. Snow from the top. We need…. We need to clean him. But I don’t have… We….“ You took a deep breath, stopping your ramble.

„Towels and snow, got it,“ she said, throwing her backpack down before she made her way upstairs. 

You took a deep breath, sucking your bottom lip in. 

„Don’t you die on me Joel Miller, I still have to yell at you“ you whispered as you leaned down, to kiss his temple before you used the scissors of your first aid kit to cut his shirt open. 

It came to you on the day after, that the only stitches you ever did were on Joel Miller’s body. You had stitched a cut on his upper arm almost fifteen years ago. Then a bulled wound on his hip.

But that was nothing like what you were dealing with here. 

You had used the little bottle of disinfectant to clean his wound as best as you could, before you stitched him up and he had not even moved a muscle through all of it. 

It was sometime during the early morning hours that he stirred, waking up only enough to ask after Ellie, falling back asleep immediately when you came into his line of view, his whispered name on your lips. 

You and Ellie had pulled him in as many blankets as possible to get him to warm up. 

It was like you checked the wound hourly to make sure it wasn’t bleeding anymore and somehow in the early hours of the afternoon it seemed to stop. 

Ellie was spending almost all her time outside in the garage with the horses after she woke up. She wasn’t talking much, but she had told you that she was glad you had found them. 

A groan made you jump up and you found Joel’s eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings until his eyes focused on you, whispering your name, his voice hoarse.

„How are you feeling?“ You asked softly, coming to kneel next to him, your hand on his cheek. 

„Like I got stabbed by a bat,“ he groaned and you felt the tears springing into your eyes as you smiled sadly. 

„Not the time for jokes Miller,“ you said and he sighed, his head turning in your hand.

„Ellie?“ He asked. 

„In the garage with the horses,“ you said and he nodded slowly. 

„'Am sorry,“ he said and you shook your head. 

„It’s okay,“ you said and now he shook his head. 

„Was a shitty thing to leave,“ he grunted. 

„Yeah it was. And I am gonna yell at you for that, but only once you are all healed up,“ you promised with a small smile, your fingers brushing over your skin. 

The door flew open and Ellie ran in with wide eyes. 

„There was someone out there,“ she said and your eyes widened before you got up while she knelled down next to Joel who was trying to get up.

„Wait here with him and do not let him get up,“ you instructed Ellie as you made your way out into the garage. 

The windows of the whole house were barricaded so the only way to actually look outside were the broken windows over the garage door. 

You carefully stepped onto the chair you had found inside to look out of the window and you could see three men walk down the street, as if they were looking for something. They didn’t look like they were raiders, not carrying any kind of bags or supplies on them. And only one was holding a handgun. You were glad that it had continued to snow during the night, covering up all the tracks that led to the house. 

You watched as they rounded the block, noticing how thin they looked as they walked back the way they came from, unease washing over your body. 

„They must be around here somewhere. How far can they get? Rodrick fucking stabbed him with his bat,“ you heard one of them mutter as they walked past the house, your heart stopping. 

They were looking for Joel.

For Joel and Ellie. 

You had to get out of here. 

You watched them until they had left the street, before you got down from the chair.

Still in your thoughts you made you way back inside the house.

The longer you thought about them the more uncomfortable you became. You had the same feeling a couple times before, the last time just before you made it out of Kansas City, a city you only barely survived. 

Both Ellie’s eyes and Joel’s were on you when you entered the room. 

„It would be better for Joel to stay here and heal but…“

„We have to leave?“ Ellie asked and you nodded. 

„I…They are looking for you. I heard them talk,“ you said as you knelt down on the other side of Joel who was looking up at you. You put your hand on his forehead, noticing that he was running a little hot. 

You would need medicine for him. You only had some expired aspirin. That wouldn’t help him if his wound got infected. 

„We’ll leave first thing in the morning,“ you decided, hoping that it would be for the best.

It was a four day ride back to Jackson.

Four days that felt like four weeks. 

Joel had been strong enough to get on his feet on the morning you left and both Ellie and you had helped him up into the saddle before you got onto the horse in front of him, using two belts you had found upstairs to strap him against you, his arms coming to wrap around you.

You heard every groan of pain he let out as he tried to keep himself up on the horse. 

On the second day, once you were far enough away from the town you felt him burn up, mumbling against your ear, his head resting on your shoulder. 

It was getting harder to keep him on the horse with you, Ellie riding next to you, her worried eyes always on Joel. 

More than once he told you to just leave him and get both you and Ellie to safety but you and Ellie were having none of it. 

When you saw the gates of Jackson you were almost crying, Ellie galloping in front of you even though you called after her to slow down, hoping they wouldn’t just shot her on sight. 

But then the gate opened and for the first time in a long time you were glad to see Tommy Miller running towards you, already yelling commands out. 

The next hours were a blur. 

You pretty much passed out the moment you knew Joel was taken care off. You woke up to beeping in a dark room, only a little lamp on the table next to the bed you were laying in,  your eyes immediately finding Ellie who had cuddled on the bed next to you. You carefully put an arm around her before you noticed someone else in the room. 

Joel was laying in the bed next to yours, the constant beep of the monitor telling you that his heart was still beating. 

You closed your eyes, releasing a shuddering breath as you tried to keep the tears in that were threatening to escape your eyes. 

Ellie shifted in your arms and she turned around, her arm sneaking around you, her eyes looking up at you. 

„Thank fuck you’re awake, these people around here are weird,“ she said and you huffed a laugh, hugging her closer. 

„How long…?“ You asked but she interrupted you. 

„We came here yesterday just before dinner. Breakfast was two hours ago? I’m not sure,“ she mumbled. You both jumped when the door opened, your head turning just in time to see Tommy walk in, followed from an older man. 

„You’re awake,“ the man said and you sat yourself up, the sudden move making your head spin. 

„I’m Carl, I’m the town doctor,“ he introduced himself to you before he walked over to Joel.

„Is he gonna be okay?“ You asked.

„Thanks to some medication and some generous blood donations,“ he eyed Tommy, „he should be making a full recovery. Nice stitches,“ he complemented and you released a relieved breath.

„You should have seen the blood transfusion, it was super gross,“ Ellie said with a shudder that made you laugh. 

„I want you to rest too. You were severely dehydrated. That must have been some exhausting couple of days for you,“ he said, giving you a small smile before he looked at Tommy and left the room. 

It was quiet in the room for a moment as you tried not to look at Tommy. 

Ellie suddenly sat herself up with a hum.

„Weeeeeell this isn’t awkward at all, so I’m gonna go and get us some food,“ she announced before she jumped off the bed and left you alone with the Miller brothers. 

For a long time the only noise inside the room was the constant beeping of Joel’s heart monitor.

„Why did you leave without saying anything?“ You finally asked and Tommy shifted in the chair he was sitting in. 

„I couldn’t stay. Joel was…. He was getting more and more reckless. Then there was the fucking drugs. I wanted to… I though I could make the world better. just couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t watch him destroy himself any longer. And I am sorry I didn’t tell you. You didn’t deserve that,“ he said and you nodded. 

„I know the things we all did were horrible. They haunt me too. And Joel…“ you look at him, sleeping in his bed. 

„He was never the same after Sarah,“ you whispered. 

„We all weren’t. We just dealt with it differently,“ Tommy said and you nodded. 

„Are you gonna stay?“ He asked and you sighed, looking at him. There was no point in keeping a grudge anymore. Not after what happened. You were safe. Ellie was safe. Joel was safe and hopefully close to being okay again. 

„I have to tell you one thing,“ you decided. He deserved to know why you had been so angry. Why you blamed him for every single bad thing that happened after he left. 

„Okay,“ he said, nodding at you. 

„On the morning after I found out your left, I also found out that I was pregnant,“ you said quietly, seeing his eyes widen, before he took a deep breath. 

„I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, I am telling you so you can understand why I was so angry and hurt,“ you explained. 

„I can’t keep blaming you for every bad thing that happens to me,“ you whispered. 

„What,“ he cleared his throat, „what happened?“ He asked. 

„I lost it six weeks after you left,“ you said with a sad smile, your finger brushing the tear away that ran down your cheek. 

He looked wrecked.

„I’m so fucking sorry,“ he shook his head, his hand running through his hair. 

You shrugged. 

„It just wasn’t meant to be,“ you sobbed, cursing to yourself as you turned your head to hide your face against the pillow. 

„Fucking hug her,“ you both heard Joel grunt and you almost jumped up, your head spinning again. 

„Joel, thank fuck,“ Tommy said before he jumped out of his chair as he saw you get out of bed on shaky legs. His arms held you up as you stumbled towards Joel’s bed who gave you a painful smile. 

„Come on, let’s get you into bed,“ Tommy whispered before he helped you sit down, pulling your legs up onto the bed as you carefully laid down next to Joel, his right arm opening for you. 

You put your hand on his chest, careful to not hurt him as you inhaled his familiar, if somewhat sweaty, scent. 

„I’ll leave you two alone,“ Tommy said as he looked at the both of you, but you were already asleep. 

„I’ll take care of her,“ Joel whispered before he kissed your forehead. 

Six weeks later

„I fucking hate math!“ Ellie groaned, letting her head fall against the table.

„Language!“ Joel called from the kitchen and she rolled her eyes while you held back a giggle. 

„Nobody likes math,“ you assured her, your arm wrapping around her shoulder. 

„Why do I have to learn it then?“

„Because that’s just the way life is. We all have to learn shit we don’t want,“ you said, you both laughing when Joel again called you out on your cursing. 

„I am a fully grown adult, Mr. Miller, leave me alone,“ you yelled towards the kitchen, only to hear his footsteps seconds later before he appeared in the door, both of his hands on his hips, giving you an exhausting head shake. 

„What am I gonna do with you?“ He asked before he walked over. You let go of Ellie’s shoulder as he stepped closer, his lips coming to kiss your cheek.

„Ugh gross,“ Ellie gagged, jumping out of her seat. 

„I’m gonna go and ask Dina to help me with math!“ She said, running out of the house, the door falling closed behind her. 

„She forgot her homework,“ Joel said, now kissing your neck. 

„Mmmmmhhh….“ You nodded, tilting your head to give him more space, his lips wandering up your neck. 

One of his hands sneaked to the front of your shirt until his palm softly palmed your breast. 

„Think you’re up for some…. Biology?“ He asked and you giggled, getting up from your chair to turn around, your arms crossing behind his neck. 

„Birds and bees again?“ You said, playfully annoyed while he nodded, all serious, before you both broke out in laughter. 

„We gotta work on your flirting, Miller,“ you said before you kissed him, shrieking when his fingers pinched your ass. 

„Love you,“ he mumbled against your lips and you smiled. 

„Love you too,“ you whispered before you let him guide you towards your bedroom. 

[mimikyuno]

i was just talking with my wife about this over breakfast but i rly hope this whole transvestigation paranoia becomes a breaking point because it’s insane? like i hope it snaps some people out of their transmisogynystic daze bc what are you saying? where is the limit?? are you demanding any woman who looks vaguely “masculine” take a chromosome test?!

like first their credo was that “a woman must have a vagina and uterus” but that’s not enough anymore for them, now u need to be born a woman “the right way” or you’re a man. never mind that a huge argument they have used against trans women is that they were “socialized as men” (ridiculous take btw, let’s not even get there) and as such can never understand womanhood and really be a woman okay then why are u saying that even if imane was afab and raised a girl she’s still not enough of a woman?! they’re always like “misogyny is sex-based” and it doesnt matter how a woman presents bc it’s her Biology that primes her for abuse (real takes i have seen!!!) but then say that a cis woman who was assigned female at birth is not Actually a woman bc some corrupt organisation that was accused of malpractice Maybe said she might have XY chromosomes. HELLO?! like do YOU know your chromosomes? do YOU know your testosterone levels? it’s so absurd it feels like im in the twilight zone.

also can we talk about how antifeminist it is to argue that someone is just too good at a sport to be a woman. what is wrong with you. hmm i wonder why men tend to be stronger overall? is it really just their “biology”? bc actually studies have shown that parents underestimate their daughters’ strength and do stuff for them and overall dont let them play rough while little boys are expected to be stronger and tumble. which child do you think will grow up with more muscle mass. which will grow up stronger and faster. i saw some altright men and terfs argue that it is Biologically True that men are Stronger and Faster and Better than women bc “look at the football league, the men are better”. like i wonder why?? could it be that the women’s league overall gets less funding, less intense trainings, and overall there’s less athletes to choose the best from bc on average more men pursue sports than women (for social reasons) etc.????

like how are terfs out there thinking they’re feminists. when they posts a picture of a woman of color and call her too ugly to be a “real woman”. do you see how racist that is?! i also saw them transvestigate the butch-looking polish contestant (for judo iirc) like?! “her hair is short and her face looks masculine” have u ever seen a butch woman irl. you stupid ass. and what if they’re trans btw?? ultimately it does not MATTER. olympic athletes are freaks of nature. usually they’re the best at a sport because they’re literally BUILT for it. they often have a natural advantage as well as years or practice. like what even is your argument anymore?! it’s a stupid sport competition to see who’s the best at certain sports how are u gonna determine which physical/biological advantages are okay and which arent?! y’all are one step away from requesting muscle fibers exam for black people to see if they have more type 2 fibers bc that makes them more likely to be fast. put a height limit for basketball players bc being too tall is rare and therefore unfair to shorter basketball players. banning women with PCOS from competing bc they have elevated testosterone. LIKE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE LIMIT FOR BIOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES IS. IM WAITING.

i think the insanity of the current situation truly is the culmination of all these phrenology-adjacent trends (like mewing and the rest of the “rate me” 4chan standards, look it up), white supremacy being allowed on mainstream platforms and transphobic panic all converging into this mass hysteria. it’s genuinely fascinating from a sociological perspective but jesus christ. the fact that if imane really was trans they could have gotten her jailed or worse. WAKE UP.

terfs love to call themselves feminists yet are using racist phrenology-like standards to determine who’s a “real” woman. being hairy? big nose? strong jaw? short hair? not a real woman :). please STOP. y’all are literally one step away from saying only white women are “real women” LMAO. trans women have been saying for years that transmisogyny IS misogyny (on steroids) and it WOULD bite cis women in the ass too but y’all didnt believe them till it Actually started affecting cis women.

i am hoping this is the peak of transphobia (specifically transmisogyny) and it’s downhill from here and society progresses 🙏🏻 like let’s move ON. enough is enough

[theladyram]

Even though you didn’t technically ask for it, here’s a three word prompt!

Brenda/Sharon (obv): “it’ll be fun”

Thanks for the ask! This is only a snippet of the story (because I am long-winded and cannot help myself lol). For anyone that wants to read the whole thing, please feel free to check it out on AO3:

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun. ‘specially now that it’s dark and all the lights are on!” Brenda batted her eyelashes at her girlfriend.

“Am I in the Twilight Zone? I’ve practically had to drag you on every roller coaster in this park today. Why ‘Wonder Woman’? Why now?” Sharon asked, stupefied.

“Well, she’s my favorite of all the superheroes, and you know I always call you my own personal Wonder Woman. So I gotta try this ride at least once.” Brenda smiled at Sharon with stars in her eyes and the goofiest of lovesick grins.

The brunette chuckled then leaned in and whispered in Brenda’s ear. “Yes. I remember the first time I found that revealing little Wonder Woman lingerie number waiting for me on the bed the night we moved in together. You had a lasso lying there and everything.” She laughed again.

Brenda gulped, remembering. “Yeah…that was…that was a good night.

So how about it, pretty lady? Just one more ride for the road?”

Sharon raised an eyebrow. “Well, I was ready to go home and offer to take you on another kind of ride, one where you wouldn’t have to wait in line…”

Brenda swallowed hard again.

“…but I wouldn’t want to put a damper on your enthusiasm. Still, I never would have thought I’d see the day.”

“Oh pffft, I’m sure you and all of Major Crimes never would have thought you’d see the day I’d come back to the L.A.P.D. to take your old job as head of FID after you took mine, but here we are!” Brenda laughed, and Sharon shook her head. Her dear girlfriend did have a point.

So the couple got in the very long line for “Wonder Woman Flight of Courage” and waited for their last ride of the evening. Sharon watched as Brenda bit at her nails, chewed on her lip, and whimpered like a scared puppy, more and more with each minute that passed and every step toward the loading platform they took.

The Wonder Woman themed coaster was by far the tallest and fastest coaster at the park, and Sharon was aware that Brenda knew it was her favorite ride of all time. But she also knew that Brenda didn’t just randomly volunteer herself to go on roller coasters, even with Sharon. Although Brenda typically ended up enjoying herself in the end, her anticipatory nerves would usually get the better of her as the pair would advance in line. Once the women were in the coaster car ascending up that first big hill, Brenda would often fall apart, either by going radio silent and eventually squeaking in fear, or if the coaster was a particularly intense one, bursting into tears until the water works quickly evolved into a cackling joyous laughter. If it was a group outing, one of the guys would have to dare her or instigate a challenge to get her on the ride.

Sharon smiled as she remembered the exchange between Brenda and Lieutenant Provenza when the group of friends were all at the park the month before: “I see things in the South haven’t changed much since the Civil War huh? ‘Y’all’ are a bunch of yellow-bellied wimps. They should call you Georgia pansies, instead of peaches. No wonder you lost the war!”

Brenda was very transparent when she was aggravated. She scrunched her face and puckered her lips. Staring straight ahead she would not make eye contact with the lieutenant, refusing to take the bait.

“We all know your lady is the wicked witch, but YOU’RE the cowardly lion, that’s even worse in my opinion.”

Brenda had known Provenza was purposely trying to get a rise out of her, but Sharon watched and knew the instant the chief’s body ignited from head to toe with fiery rage.

“Those are fightin’ words, and you’re gonna eat them!”

For the brilliant manipulator Brenda was, she was also very easy to manipulate in certain situations. And that was all it took for her friends to get her onto the roller coaster “Full Throttle” that day.

But back in the present, Sharon was flummoxed. There had been no begging, no daring, no teasing, or undue influencing. Brenda was actually asking Sharon to go on this ride with her, and not only that, she was asking one of the operators for the front seat! …on this ride of unmatched intensity…this ride that as much as Sharon enjoyed it, was the only roller coaster in the park that Brenda had NEVER been on before. Something was wrong here.

And when something was wrong, Sharon would always take it upon herself to get down to the heart of the issue and resolve it right then and there. But today was an exception. Today they were having too much fun together for Sharon to ask one too many questions and potentially talk Brenda out of the whole thing before they even got on the ride. Today was her and Brenda’s first anniversary since they had begun dating, and there was no way she was going to do anything that might cloud the celebratory spirit of their special day.

Finally, it was their turn. Sharon looked over at Brenda as the gates opened and the operators beckoned the pair over to their seats in the very front car of the train. She had never seen anyone smile and cringe so profoundly at the same time. The blonde looked crazed, and Sharon worried she might faint before the ride even started.

The pair sat down and strapped themselves in. Operators on either side came by to press down on the harnesses to make sure they were safely secured in their seats. Before the young man on Brenda’s side of the aisle could fully pull away, she yelled up at him desperately:

“Do me a favor and give it one more tug, will ya?!”

“Oh Brenda Leigh.” Sharon couldn’t help but giggle.

 The older woman looked around at their surroundings and wondered briefly why the boys hadn’t joined them on this particular escapade. They had spent the day together as they often did now that they were all palsy with one another – all of the men being rather enthusiastic about thrill rides and amusement parks…well, all of them apart from Buzz. But the other guys could talk poor Buzz into just about anything. Sharon laughed again when she remembered his futile shout into the empty California wind about “needing to find new friends” as they all plummeted down the first steep drop of “Twisted Colossus” earlier that day.

But where were they now? Why hadn’t Brenda asked them to join them on “Wonder Woman”? Surely, she’d want the boys to witness her conquering her fears on the biggest baddest ride in Magic Mountain. This was her chance to really stick it to them, especially Provenza.

But Sharon didn’t have any more time to worry about the boys. She was too worried about Brenda. The ride started to slowly wheel them out to where they would be suddenly jettisoned up the 210-foot hill. The entire track, the two Ws logo, and the various surrounding areas were all lit up with gorgeous shimmering red, white and blue lights.  

At first Sharon thought the clicking sound to her left was part of the rhythmic clanking of the chain lift pulling them along the track to their launching spot. When she realized that the sound she was hearing was actually her girlfriend’s chattering teeth, she was immediately consumed with guilt for all the times she had seemingly pressured Brenda into joining her on rides like this one. It was obvious to Sharon now that these experiences were more scary than enjoyable for her.

“Brenda honey listen, I feel just terrible, I don’t want you to think you have to do things like this to make me happy. You make me happy, YOU. On the ground. Not being hurled around in the air or falling down a 90 degree drop at 100 miles-per-hour. And believe me, I’m more than satisfied if the only place I’ll ever hear you scream is in our bed.” She looked over and smiled lovingly as she squeezed her girlfriend’s hand. “And don’t you worry, I won’t ask you to join me on another roller coaster ever again.”

“Oh Sharon, as much as I loved hearin’ you say all that, ‘specially the screamin’ in our bed part, believe you me, I wanted to ride this coaster with you, and every other one you ever asked me on. But more importantly, I got somethin’ I wanna ask YOU right now…right this very second before it’s too late.”

Suddenly Brenda lifted her arm into the air, her left hand and fingers fixed in a thumbs up gesture.

Facing the woman she loved, she smiled and pointed forward with her right.

“Look!” she exclaimed.

Sharon gazed forward and there on the illuminated pedestrian bridge that extended over the piece of coaster track about forty feet in front of them, were all their friends – Provenza, Julio, Mike, David, Andy, and Buzz – lifting up giant poster boards over their heads. Brenda raised her right hand now and gave another thumbs up. The men looked at each other, and then all at once the boards lit up in a spectacular display of red, white and blue lights. Each board showcased a different word in a different color to spell out: SHARON RAYDOR, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Sharon couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and soon she really couldn’t see it anymore because her eyes were filling with tears that were spilling out onto her glasses and blurring her vision.

No one had ever done anything like this for her. And now this wayward, wonderful, beautiful little blonde woman —this woman who at one time had worked overtime at being the bane of her existence—was the one to do it, to make her feel like she was the queen of her universe, the most cherished woman in the world, to make her feel whole for the very first time in her life.

“So, whaddaya say, Wonder Woman?” asked Brenda, waggling her eyebrows. 

Sharon opened her mouth to answer, but in a millisecond the train surged forward at lightning speed sending the couple hurtling up the hill and then careening down it at 120 miles per hour. Sharon had never heard another human being scream like what she heard come out of her girlfriend’s mouth, although as usual, once they were halfway down the first big hill Brenda’s shouting transformed into bellowing laughter. Sharon joined her, with the addition of happy tears sliding down her cheeks. The pair maneuvered so quickly around corners and over mini hills that her tears were carried away by the wind, and Sharon figured the two of them must resemble cartoon characters in the extremity of their expressions that materialized through the course of the ride.

Once their train made it all the way back to the loading station, Brenda remembered she was indeed alive and was still waiting for an answer to her question.

“Well?” Brenda asked with a shaky timbre and a lopsided grin. Her body was still feeling the effects of the coaster ride.

Sharon opened her mouth to answer and happened to look over to her right. She realized not only had their friends made it back to the platform with their signs and were now watching their interactions, but the whole crowd was almost entirely silent, staring intently at the women, seemingly hanging on their every word.

Sharon took her girlfriend’s trembling hands in hers.

“You went through all of this for me, the least I can do is marry you.” She leaned in and passionately captured Brenda’s lips with her own.

The boys, the crowd, and even the ride operators clapped and cheered. Sharon opened her right eye amidst their kiss and watched Mike, Andy, and Julio pick up their lit poster boards and turn them around. She broke the kiss to laugh when she saw they now read: SHE SAID YES!

[metanarrates]

Never been a hunger games buff and never will be but i feel like reading your critical posts is a big sigh of relief. I have similarly also seen this series and its characters be valorized in this very discordant manner and i was suspect of its writing ever since i saw katniss be propped up as this model woman protagonist by mainstream sources. Good to have formal confirmation that she is a hallmark ya protag in formative ya fiction and not (gestures vaguely)

i feel like i'm in the twilight zone tbh... i've been seeing people praise the series for years and I read it and it's just Kinda Mid? why does katniss putter around doing wilderness survival shit for like 35% of the novel and nobody ever talks about it...

and I DO actually like katniss a lot as a protagonist, even if her characterization is often shaky. she seems to draw more from grizzled action hero protagonist territory than from girlish ya romance protagonist territory, which is fun. she works well enough as an action heroine. but as far as the whole Best Character Ever Sharp Revolutionary Heroine thing goes....? guys she's not that incredible.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/736547236741332993/whats-the-current-consensus-among-you-and-your

Same anon here 👋

Thank you for the sanity check. For the record, I'm not a straight woman feeling attacked by that post; I'm queer and felt rather invalidated by those assumptions on the subreddit. The post was about both slash and femlash too. I'm used to the stance/points you laid out and assumed it was the common one among fans, especially queer ones. So when the subreddit post mostly got people blaming heteronormativity (mostly in relation to how the bottoms are woobofied and feminized) and occasionally blaming not just straight women but also IRL queer culture (for having internalized biases), I did feel like I'd stepped into the Twilight zone. Engaging in the conversation, even with reference to current fandom demographics, didn't get me anywhere either, but I'm not very good at debating or putting things into words anyway. I find the assumption that "stereotypical" portrayals of queer sex comes from heteronormativity to be very reductive, and the examine your biases thing comes across as condescending because "I've examined them, thanks, and I find this hot" never seems to be an acceptable answer for that crowd. The whole thing made me wonder if I was in an echo chamber or something. Thank you for your thoughts.

--

Oh, it's a standard view amongst the young, dumb, defensive, and prudish.

They're deeply afraid of other people going "It makes me horny, so it's great" and very upset if you point out how little they seem to know about queer communities outside of their circle of tumblr friends.

[neotrances]

it’s just strange it feels like i exist in the twilight zone sometimes “societal standards” exclude ppl that do not fit the status quo which is cis white and upper class 😭 that doesn’t mean these groups can’t experience certain forms of prejudice but as a whole society won’t reject them nor cast them out entirely, ur so rabid to defend that woman from mild criticism that ur not realizing a white billionaire saying she’s fighting societal standards is crazy

[sephirthoughts]

Could you do 5 and 10 for Valenwind in the new ask game?

5. I personally HC Sephiroth as Vincent’s bio son (i don’t care about canon support i just like this as a story element), accomplished by some highly unethical in-vitro fertilization Lucrecia did with his genetic material (not because they had sex poor vinnie absolutely died a virgin) so he wasn’t aware sephiroth was technically his till much later.

Based on both their characters, I think Vincent and Cid would want to have a child together, and Shera would be a fuckin BRO and surrogate for them.

So, thus far they’ve got two kids; one baby girl named Olivia (ollie) with Vincent’s features, and one semi-psychotic thirty-something superhuman who keeps showing up at their house because he found out he has a baby sister and they literally can’t keep him away.

I think maybe one more, eventually, using Cid’s genetic material because poor Cid. he deserves to pass on those sexy rocket scientist pilot genes! though i do think it’s a hilarious idea that Cid has actually slept with women and doesn’t have a single bio kid, whereas Vincent, who has never touched a woman in his life, has TWO bio children. 💀💀💀

i guess that means three kids in total. if you don't count yuffie. which i do not.

10. The thing about them both being old men is that they have aged past the point where they have any shame whatsoever, so they don't really hide anything they watch from the other. that said, there are things they share and things they don't.

Vincent: the vast quantity of available television is fascinating to Vincent, who grew up watching Dark Shadows, Get Smart, Hogan's Heroes and whatnot, in syndication. He'll watch almost anything once, from sheer eager curiosity, but he mostly dislikes everything. The exceptions are:

-C-dramas. He loves them. the more batshit and ridiculous and full of crying in the rain and giant battles and long-haired sword gays the better. Also it's a good way to expose Ollie to his other native language as much as possible. Cid will fall directly asleep when one of these is on, so it's good for putting the husband down for nappies when he's fussy. -any kind of cooking or baking competition. he has very strong opinions on mary berry and paul hollywood. also he loves mel and sue but thinks that tryhard noel can fuck off.

Cid: television is hit and miss with Cid, because of his ADHD so he either hyper-focuses on a show and binges the whole thing, or falls asleep/wanders off. the exception is anything that falls into the category of what he considers essential shows for ollie's enrichment, which he watches with her. these include but are not limited to: -spongebob squarepants -carl sagan's the cosmos -M*A*S*H -the simpsons (seasons 4 through 11) -airwolf -star trek (original series) -phineas and ferb -macgyver -the twilight zone

also a bunch of old western and war movies

[aemiron-main]

What's With All The Miniatures and Shrinking? Featuring Welcome To Marwen, TFS, The Incredible Shrinking Woman and More (Inital/Intro Post Re: The Miniature Stuff in ST)

So, I was talking about Wilbur about the weird miniature version of the Creel house that we see in one of the TFS BTS videos:

And then, I started thinking about TFS and ST and all of the weird references to miniature/fake versions of things etc. I'm still working on another, larger analysis re: Welcome to Marwen, the Singing Detective, The Twilight Zone, TFS, It's A Wonderful Life, and Hawkins not being "real," but for now, in this post, I just want to talk about the weird "shrinking"/miniature stuff in ST and TFS and how it also connects to the weird invisibility stuff in ST and TFS. Let's get into it.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

So, there's a VHS tape of The Incredible Shrinking Woman in the Family Video VHS store:

And interestingly enough, the main character of The Incredible Shrinking Woman is a woman named Pat Kramer- which immediately made me think of Patty Newby, and what I talked about in this post re: Patty, Suzie, Orphan (2009), and how Patty connects to the whole "small woman" thing, and NINA/Argyle's "NINA could be a small woman" line. And in The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Pat ends up shrunk due to an exposure to experiment chemicals- which is the same reason that was publicly given for Barbara's death in S2, which is interesting considering all of the Patty-Barb parallels and the fact that Patty plays "Barbara Allen" in the Dark of the Moon play in TFS. It's also interesting that Argyle specifically talks about not being able to see a small woman- versus Patty asking Wonder Woman to make her invisible, something that Patty says she knows isn't "technically canon," likely referring to Wonder Woman's invisible jet, which renders her invisible when she uses it, and also has its own AI system which is connected to Wonder Woman's brain so that she can manage it telepathically, which makes me think of Patty's weird powers-like abilities/her ability to somehow find Henry in the void etc etc, and the whole "invisible jet" thing makes me think of Project Rainbow trying to turn the USS Eldridge invisible by sending it to Dimension X:

Anyway! There's some thoughts re: The Incredble Shrinking Woman. Now let's look at Welcome to Marwen.

Welcome To Marwen

So, Welcome to Marwen is on the S4 Board:

And in Welcome to Marwen, Mark Hogancamp creates a miniature fake WW2 village called Marwen to cope with his PTSD- and he imagines that the village and everyone in it is real/the lines between reality and imagination become extremely blurred for him. And I already talked in this post about Mark's eye scar versus Brenner's eye scar (which, Brenner and the idea of a fake Hawkins/Hawkins not being entirely "real" is something I'm going to dive into more in that big analysis I mentioned), but now, I just briefly want to talk about Welcome to Marwen in general.

The village of Marwen not only reminds me of Scott's miniature town (which we'll get to in a second), but it also reminds me of S3 Will's literal miniature DND village, which is extra interesting considering Will's Brenner parallels, and specifically, his Brenner Sr parallels during that S3 scene, with Will being dressed as Will the Wise & Will the Wise's Saruman the Wise parallels versus Brenner Sr's Saruman parallels, like I talked about in this post, versus what I talked about in that initial Mark Hogancamp scar vs Brenner scar post re: Brenner Sr.

And speaking of the toys/miniature people coming to life in Welcome to Marwen, it's interesting that Spellbound, the song that plays at the end of S4, talks about toys coming alive/going "beserk":

Anyway, my main point with this is just that it involves a fake miniature town with fake, miniature people and that the lines between fiction and reality get blurred, and that Will putting the villagers into peril to try and get Mike and Lucas' attention is very similar to the scenarios that Mark Hogancamp puts his villagers (and his own alter-ego) into.

Argyle’s Small Woman Lines, Scott's Mini Town, and Things You Can't See

So, we also have Scott talking about how you "can't see" the electromagnetic field around his miniatures, but it's there- versus Argyle talking about how a "small woman would be hard to see" and Eddie saying to steve that there was "nothing you could see" versus Joyce saying "why is nothing happening"- all of which makes me think about Patty (a small woman) asking Henry what he sees during TFS when he's in the void looking for her mother:

So, we have this whole idea that things are still real even if you can't see them, versus being unable to see a small woman/the idea that people are still real even if you can't see them, and then we also have Lonnie saying that people are "more real" outside of Hawkins, and then ALSO saying that if Jonathan left Hawkins, Lonnie could "see" him more- which then connects to Scott's whole "you can't see it but it's there" thing (and also implies that the people in Hawkins aren't "real"):

Which, re: all of the invisibility stuff, it makes me think about how Project Rainbow was originally supposed to turn the USS Eldridge invisible- and technically, it did: by sending it to Dimension X. And so, when we compare that to all of the invisibility references surrounding Hawkins, part of me wonders if Hawkins itself, just the town, somehow exists in another dimension/possibly even Dimension X somehow, but anyway.

Alice In Wonderland

And now, let's talk about Alice in Wonderland, because it's definitely inspo for ST, and there's SO many references to it in ST and TFS- but today, I want to focus on the Alice in Wonderland references that centre around shrinking/changing sizes, as well as the chessboard stuff in Alice in Wonderland, and how that connects to the idea of Brenner moving the Creels around like pieces on a chessboard/like dolls.

So, I already talked in this post about the chessboard imagery with the Creel & the ideas that Brenner was manipulating the Creels both on the night of the murders and leading up to the murders, and moving them around like pieces on a chess board, as well as all of that versus the chessboard in Alice in Wonderland, and now I'm sitting here wondering if there's any literal "moving them like dolls/like chess pieces" stuff going on re: the Creels, especially considering that weird mini TFS Creel house. Brenner, quick, do you have like. A Creel terrarium going on here???

And also, in S1, they used the song "White Rabbit," which constantly references Alice in Wonderland, and specifically, talks about how "one pill makes you smaller"- which makes me think about Soteria being pill-shaped and how El says that Henward is "too big" to escape through the tunnel right before El removes soteria.

Especially since White Rabbit plays after El escaped HNL via the tunnel in S1 and ended up at Benny's/the song is connected to that HNL tunnel.

And just as a little side note, it's interesting to me that they specifically chose to describe Henry as "little" Henry in the Weekly Watcher, especially with the context of all of this weird shrinking/miniature stuff.

And all of this makes me think about the whole "one pill makes you smaller" thing vs a.) El literally appearing as a smaller/younger version of herself during NINA and b.) what I've talked about re: Henward being subtitled as "boy" during NINA despite seemingly being a grown man.

There's more to talk about re: all of this and ST vs Alice in Wonderland but I'll save that for another time because this post is just meant to be an intro/overview post re: the weird miniature/shrinking stuff in ST.

DND Minis

Also, the party literally all have MINI equivalents of themselves-

-for some reason, they're drawing out attention specifically to the idea of miniature versions of the characters.

There's also the whole "Hank the Ranger" mini that Scott paints & how a.) "Hank" is a nickname for "Henry," and b.) the lyrics "hungry ONE" play over the scene of Scott painting the Hank the Ranger figure. And like I talked about before, we have Will's S3 village- where he puts the villagers into peril in an attempt to kick Lucas and Mike into action, which is interesting, because it's like. Yes, of course, the villagers are fictional, but also, like I mentioned before, Welcome to Marwen (a movie where the "fictional" villagers often feel very real) is confirmed inspo- so that makeas me wonder about Will's Brenner Sr parallels and the idea of Brenner/Brenner Sr somehow pulling strings in Hawkins and putting people into peril etc etc, I need to think about it more & I'll save that for another time because this post is getting too long already.

And also, speaking of minis in general, El has the miniatures that she made out of clay for her diorama- which is interesting because in TFS, Patty and Henry talk about how Wonder Woman was "sculpted out of clay," and also, Erica's Lady Applejack DND mini reminds me of Wonder woman, with the pose and the hairstyle:

TFS almost reminds me of a dioarama, with how it's contained on the stage- which makes the upside down Rebook box that El uses for her dioarama interesting considering all the of the references to the UD in TFS and what I talked about in this post re: what looks like the UD outside of the Hawkins High window in TFS.

Anyway, there's SO much more to talk about re: DND minis in this show, but I'll save that for another time/the point I'm just trying to make here is that a.) they DO keep drawing our attention to fake, miniature versions of peope and b.) these fake, miniature versions of people connect back to TFS (see: Will's Brenner SR connections and the sculpted out of clay thing vs El's clay diorama minis).

Beetlejuice

And now, we're onto Beetlejuice, which is also on the S4 board:

So, in the attic of the house in Beetlejuice, there's an attic- and in this attic, there's a miniature version of the town, where a miniature Beetlejuice ends up residing- and like I talked about in this post, Scott's miniature set has a miniature version of Beetlejuice's grave in it- which is especially interesting considering that it's anachronistic/Beetlejuice wasn't out at the time of S3.

And so, the miniature town in the attic in Beetlejuice makes me think of the Creel attic, and Henry spending so much time up there with his spiders- and Wilbur @reikunrei perfectly tied this part all together by mentioning The Bride of Frankenstein and the scientist that makes mini versions of people in jars:

Which then makes me think of how Henward compares himself to a spider in his monologue, his spiders, which are in jars, just like the people in jars from The Bride of Frankenstein- which is interesting because that then draws a parallel between Henry himself and the people in the jars/the idea that Henry is in some sort of "jar"/a miniature version of him:

And it's also interesting to me that Henry found the spiders in a vent versus all of the references to people in vents in ST (see: Erica in the vents in S3, which, interestingly, we also get a scene of S4 of Erica painting minis/she seems to have her own miniature of her DND character, Lady Applejack, so she's tied to the miniature stuff and the vent stuff versus the spiders in the vents later ending up in jars just like the miniature people in Bride of Frankenstein) and the way that El says that Henward is "too big" to go through the vent/tunnel in the NINA basement:

(and also, the vent thing gets even more interesting when we consider the fact that in TFS, Henry doesn't find the spiders in the vent- instead, he brought them WITH him from Nevada in his suitcase in jars. There's something rattling there re: all of this weird miniature/shrinking stuff vs TFS and the fact that Henry's spiders in TFS were never actually outside of the jar in the Creel house vs TFS feeling weirdly "self contained"/not aligning with filmed canon- almost like it's in a jar) And then re: Bride of Frankenstein and "small women," that brings us to this post that I made re: TFS, Patty's Mom, and Patty and music box imagery and how Patty's mom resembles/is posed like the literal small woman/tiny ballerina inside of Nancy's music box- and then when we look at Bride of Frankenstein, there's a tiny ballerina inside of one of the jars:

Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

And now, we have Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, which is on the S4 board:

In Dream Warriors, we see Freddy's dollhouse- and it REALLY reminds me of the Creel house, specifically, that weird miniature TFS BTS version of the Creel house, and also reminds me of the boarded up version of the Creel house, considreing how Freddy's dollhouse is boarded up:

This dollhouse was built by Kristen, and ends up acting as a portal to Freddy's nightmare realm- which makes me think about the scene of the Creel house getting split in half by the gate in S4/the portal imagery there. And speaking of Kristen, Kristen is able to pull people into her dreams- which makes me think of Patty in TFS and all of the references to things being "her dream," like I talked about in this post.

But then, Patty also tells Henry that it's his dream/there's a whole thing there re: shared dreams, so it seems to go a bit further than the way Kristen just pulls people into her dreams:

And also, in Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master, Kristen talks to Alice about her nightmares, and Alice tells her to take control of her dreams and "think of someplace fun," which is basically what Patty says to Henry in TFS, when she says to "make it a nice dream"- so Patty seems to get paralleled to both Alice and Kristen (which is very interesting considering Alice's character as a whole, but that's its own post), and Henry seems to get paralleled to Kristen (and a bunch of other Nightmare characters/there's ones with stronger parallels to Henry than Kristen, but again, that's another post).

(and just as a little fun fact, the actress who plays Kristen is also named Patricia)

Anyway, I went on a bit of a tangent re: Nightmare on Elm Street, but I just wanted to bring up the whole Freddy's mini dollhouse thing vs the weird mini Creel house/the Creel house in general and all of the Patty-Henry dream stuff. Not to mention all of Alice Creel's dollhouse imagery versus Freddy's dollhouse- what the hell is going on???

Conclusion

I’m not really sure what the hell is going on here, but there’s SOMETHING here. I don't even really have a coherent thesis or anything but my point is just that there's something weird going on re: shrinking and miniature versions of people and places and that also somehow ties to all of the references to invisibility/not being able to see things.

And I mean, if Brenner wanted to run experiments on an entire town, it'd be easier to do it on a tiny town, right?? Like how Scott LITERALLY runs an electromagnetic field experiment on his miniature town. And I'm also staring at the Mindflayer appearing with that giant hand and reaching towards Will- when you think about it, that's the exact sort of thing that somebody in Scott's miniature town would see when he reaches towards the town/this giant hand reaching down. Are the people of Hawkins just little DND-esque miniatures to the MF/shadow???

Also, all of this stuff re: miniatures/small versions of people makes me think about all of the pocket stuff in ST/Mike's weird letter-shaped pocket etc etc versus a.) mini people being pocket-sized and b.) the idea of pocket dimensions, and things like a bag of holding in DND, which is much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Is Hawkins itself some sort of pocket dimension? Does NINA take place in some sort of pocket dimension???

Long story short: I'd love to know what the hell is going on. Are there literal miniature versions of the Creels running around somewhere in some sort of ant farm-esque Brenner experiment???? Like a little "Freddy's Dollhouse" sort of thing but with the Creel house??? What the hell was up with that miniature Creel house for TFS that never got used in the play??? Is Hawkins itself some sort of weird miniature experiment town??? Is Hawkins as we know it "fake"/not "real" and is the UD the "real" Hawkins/the original Hawkins???

I'd just love some answers LMAO

[gothicprep]

looks like pitchfork magazine was absorbed under gq, had a lot of layoffs, and its future as a publication is looking sort of blurry. feels weird to be living through this one. but in the spirit of current events, I always really hated how they treated poptimism as a critical thesis. I’m fine with poptimism in general, ie the belief that pop music is worth critically taking seriously, but I overwhelmingly feel like this whole operation devolved into apologia for garbage.

there was some really weird thing they’d published about Rihanna’s bitch better have my money and I think it’s one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen a large-ish media company dump out. like, when you read a 30 something white woman write something like “sorry if the white boys have a problem with this!” it’s like watching a twilight zone episode of a grad student symposium combined with a quarter life crisis. the lack of self awareness with that one made me sweat bullets.

I’ve seen some opinion pieces about how the way they treated poptimism was a larger symptom of the culture war swallowing everything, but that was never the impression I got from it. it always sort of stunk to me as the output of people who are aging and extremely insecure about it, even though they’re objectively still pretty young. “I can’t become an old fuddy duddy! I just can’t!” I mean, hey, if everything goes well, we’ll all be old fuddy duddies someday. it’s part of life. I’ve made my peace with this information.

eh, whatever. maybe rest in peace to this weird publication. maybe the change of hands will help them get their branding down and it stops being so “how do you do, fellow kids?” my guess here is as good as yours.

[steampunkforever]

It’d been a long time since I’d read Benjamin Button, but I was surprised when I saw the film and the liberties Fincher had taken with the plot as compared to the Fitzgerald short story. Those liberties don’t matter, as Fincher takes a much deeper thematic tack and also cast most femme-fatale 1930s looking woman alive: Cate Blanchett.

The short story is basically a Jazz-age twilight zone, hinging on “wouldn’t it be messed up?” storytelling to speculate on what would happen if you aged backwards, saying something about the American condition while it’s at it. Of course this analysis is reductive and limiting, but I’m filmposting and not going into a close reading of the original text.

Comparatively, this is David Fincher doing the notebook. He’s turned a story you’re assigned in high school into a tragic romantic drama that explores death, old age, and loving someone through their deterioration. This is a movie about dementia and Alzheimers. It’s a movie about love. It’s the time traveler’s wife but directed by the Fight Club guy.

The most notable part of this film was that I realized when watching it that I’d become my mother. The whole first half I’d noted to myself how weird Matt Damon’s old man makeup looked, only to be hit with the crushing realization that there was no Matt Damon and I’d been watching Brad Pitt the entire time. The Scorsese’s Departed curse has been leveled upon my family once more.

[terristarstrike]

Is This The Real Me?

Oh boy... we're heading into some huge spoiler territory as we explore the true heritage of our little human protagonist, Bailey Wilson. Apparently, Bailey is actually an orphan girl with a mysterious past, and we're about to dive into who.. or what she truly is.

GIANT-SIZED SPOILERS FOR TERRI STARSTRIKE AHEAD

Bailey Wilson thought that her life was completely normal. She had a loving father, a sweet stepmother, and a groovy big brother, but she barely knew anything about the biological mother who brought her into the world. All she could recall was the night of her first birthday, when she was left on the doorstep of her father's house. At first, she desperately wanted to learn about her mother's identity, but she didn't show that much interest when she was already happy with her family.

After Terrina Ave-Lo came into her life, it seemed that everything was right in the world, but Bailey suddenly gained a feeling: the feeling that she wasn't meant to be in this tiny human body. She just learned about the existence of a whole world of giants, out in space, so maybe she could try to take the form of a fifty-foot Jotuzon to see if she would feel better in her own skin, and when she finally assumed Jotuzon form, she finally experienced true euphoria!

Bailey had just came home from a pretty fun experience in her new giant form, but she also found something in the basket where she found her new transformation bracelet. What the hell was a Jotuzon Bracelet doing in her old baby basket? It would be odd for an invention from the Giants to be found in her father's old junk.. but then again, maybe he did have some connection with those giants. After all, he was an astrophysicist!

Bailey asked her girlfriend Terri about the old Jotuzon tech in her old basket, and if her father knew any of the Jotuzons while he was still alive. Terrina was too young to remember Irwin, or if any humans had a peaceful relationship with her race, but Bailey was starting to put all the pieces together. What if this a sign of her own true identity, and where she truly came from?

Bailey searched through her father's old documents to find a bunch of old photos lying in a box near the basket. The names written on the label of the box were Irwin Wilson, and someone named Athene Lo-Shanta. It sure sounded like a Jotuzon name. Perhaps, he's been hiding something from her, or more importantly, he's been hiding it from the other humans. Hesitant to learn the truth about herself, Bailey took a deep breath and opened the box.

She scattered her hands through the box and picked up an old Polaroid picture of her father with a mysterious maiden. The maiden spotted bright violet eyes, and a brunette hairdo with purple tips. She looked like.. a Jotuzon! This Athene person couldn't be her real birth mother, but then again, maybe she could be! Bailey found multiple photos of the couple at a concert, by the lake, on a formal date, and weirdly enough, there were no photos of Bailey as a baby. "Strange.." she thought. But there was more.. she found a photo of Irwin sitting on top of Athene's knees at her full giant size, and another of the giant woman kissing little Irwin on her hands. This is too good to be true! Irwin fell in love with a Jotuzon? Once Bailey connected the dots in her head, it was all starting to make sense!

Bailey couldn't believe it! At this point, her mind had nearly exploded to smithereens, her "Twilight Zone" fantasies were coming true! "My mom was an alien!.. MY MOM WAS AN ALIEN! And not just an alien, but A GIANT!! And that means I'm a giant too! I finally know who I am!" Bailey squealed at the top of her lungs and hugged her girlfriend with tears of joy. She finally found her place in the universe, as one of the Jotuzons! Bailey's giant form was her true form all along. She wasn't a human who became a Jotuzon, she was a Jotuzon who spent 15 years of her life hiding as a human!

But what now? She knew that her dad tried everything to protect her, especially from major alien paranoia. He tried to give her a normal life, but now the truth of the Jotuzons' existence is much too large to kept hidden, especially in the times she was living in. Her true heritage is not something that should be kept under wraps anymore. Even worse, no one knew what happened to her mother. Poor little Bailey was stranded here, on Earth, for 15 years, but now, even in her tiny little human form, she can show off a little pride in her true half-Jotuzon heritage, and the best part, she has a loving Jotuzon girlfriend who can help reconnect her with her lost heritage. She may be figuring it all out for herself, but hiding her identity is not something Bailey will resort to. At long last, it's about time people recognize her for who she truly is: a Jotuzon!

[crystalninjaphoenix]

MerMay 2024 Day Three Village Visit

Jackie swam downwards, schools of fish parting around him as he moved quickly. It was dimly lit down here in the twilight zone, but he could see lights on the ocean floor. As he got closer, the lights revealed themselves to be glowing plants, decorating the edges of spherical rocks... and coming from holes inside them.

Shapes moved around the rocks. Some of them swam up to Jackie—revealing themselves to be a pair of older merms, a man and a woman, their tails bright red. “It’s good to see you again, Jackie,” said the woman. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“Of course.” Jackie nodded. “Thank you for sending the message.” The village mage had woken him up with the glowing missive sent across the waves. 

“Come, swim with us,” the man says, turning back. “We’ll talk as we go.”

The three of them dive down to the village, passing through lines of kelp. Other red-tailed merms tend to the garden, harvesting some of the kelp for food, and some to be pressed and preserved as something to write on.

“We saw the image you told us to keep an eye out for,” the woman was saying. “With the trident.”

“On a boat?” Jackie asked.

“Yes, on a boat. It passed right overhead, something dangling over the edge on a tether.”

Jackie’s attention sharpened. “What was it?”

“We didn’t dare get close enough to see,” the woman said.

“That’s... worrying. I-is anyone missing?” Jackie looked around at the other merms in the village. He saw an older merm instructing a younger one on how to weave a shirt. A few more returning from hunting with bags of fish. Others swam from house to house, visiting their neighbors.

A handful of small kids swam around, the red scales on their tails dotted with white, tossing a ball back and forth. One of them spotted Jackie and stopped short, eyes wide. She reached out to the others, tapping them for attention.

“No, not that we know of,” the older man said. “We all hid inside while it passed overhead.”

“Protector!” “Guardian!” “Hi! Hi!” The kids suddenly swarmed around Jackie, tails waving wildly.

Jackie stopped short. He looked down at them and laughed. “Hello, pups!”

“Guardian, have you ever fought a shark?” A young merm asked, his eyes wide. 

“Ooo, I bet he has!” Another shouted.

“Now, pups, sharks are very dangerous,” Jackie said patiently. “Even protectors have to be careful. We only fight them if we have to.” He grinned. “But I’m not saying I’ve never fought anything cool.”

“Tell us tell us!” A young merm pleaded.

“In a moment, okay? I have a very important talk with your elders to get to,” Jackie said patiently. “Do you all know about that boat that passed overhead?”

“When we had to stay inside?” One of the kids asked.

“Yes, exactly. That was something very dangerous. You should always listen to the rest of the village when they say to hide.”

“So that the protectors can take care of it?” the first kid asked again.

Jackie nodded. “Yep. We know what to do.” Usually. This TridentCorp business... it felt like all they could do was wait for them to make their move, staying on the defensive the whole time. Protectors like him had trained to help other merms. But how could he help them against a human group that spanned the globe? Shaking off these thoughts, he began to swam away. “I’ll be right back if you want to hear stories, okay?”

“Awww.” The kids were clearly disappointed, but they waved goodbye soon enough and went back to playing with their ball, grabbing it before it floated too far away.

Jackie followed the older merms into a building, going through a wide entrance. The inside was completely open, a hollow sphere. The merms gathered around a table, its surface lifted on a tall rock spire to be in the exact center of the room. “Tell me more about this thing on a tether,” he said.

“We’re not sure what it was, like I said, no one got close enough to see,” the woman said.

“Was it a square shape? Was one end shiny like sea glass?” Jackie persisted.

The two merms looked at each other, then back at Jackie. “Yes, indeed,” the man said.

“That might have been some sort of ‘camera’ device,” Jackie said, trying to hide his worry. “TridentCorp might know about your village.”

The woman gasped. “What should we do? Should we move? Our school has been settled here for generations!”

Jackie’s tail fluttered nervously. “If you think you must. TridentCorp wants to capture merms, to study them. They could not possibly grab all of you...” Could they? “But anyone who wanders out on their own could be in danger. You should all stay close to the village for a while. Have your mage send a message for more protectors to come help watch.”

The meeting continued for a while as Jackie helped the elders make a plan to protect their school. It was similar to other plans he’d made with other schools, but this was the first one that had a TridentCorp ship pass directly overhead. They were getting closer. He just had to hope they wouldn’t get too close before they had a solid plan.

[cantarella]

Actually losing my mind bc someone said that reading Furina and Neuvillette as father & daughter infantilizes her character and I’m??? Genuinely what? I’ve been trying to understand what romance these ppl are gleaning from their interactions/dynamic… it also seems like viewing their relationship through a romantic lense is what actually lends its hand to infantilizing her. But it’s such a popular pairing; I feel like ppl would have my head for simply saying they *look* related on purpose

"I’ve been trying to understand what romance these ppl are gleaning from their interactions/dynamic" you and I both my man I've been feeling like I'm in the fucking twilight zone for the past month. their shooters say they're coded, like how the "the little oceanid" play in her sq would be a parallel for their relationship and like that's... just inaccurate in so many ways. like 1. that's not how any of it went down are they hallucinating 2. IF it was a parallel then it'd be one to focalors specifically and that's another character 3. why on god's green earth would hyv have to use coding for a m/f pairing. do they even know what that shit is for? why would a chinese company need to use that? ofc they don't I forgot 90% of the fans are homophobes they don't care. anyway

you've got it exactly right, viewing their whole dynamic as romantic is the infantilization here actually. you can't deny what happens on screen, and furina acts quite literally like if you put fischl, or any theater kid you can think of, in charge of an entire nation with no guidance. she is overwhelmed and scared of the fact everyone would die if she fails at her task, and by pretending to be someone else she was in stasis for 500 years, never allowed to live her own life and grow up as a person. so in a situation far beyond her she seeks protection from the only person always in her life, who is an older looking man who has his shit genuinely just more put together than her despite everything about him, and has the power to actually protect their people

if you read this as meant to evoke a familial dynamic then it's easy to see how this is a coming of age narrative, of a young adult who has been going through a lot of pain (hello metaphor for adolescence in the form of 500 years of repetitive torture labyrinth. does anyone here like utena) breaking free of the life that chained her and starting to live her own, while learning to not depend anymore on her guardian who still supports her from a distance, but aknowledges her growth through gifting her the last push for full independence (the vision)

if you look at it romantically... well what is there exactly. you have to deny furina is mentally meant to be young to not be gross, so you have to deny the 500 years being stasis so she presumably grew, so she's a deeply emotionally unstable woman seeking protection from her stronger male partner bc she's too damaged to be competent at her job. great fucking dynamic you got there, I think my parents put on a less heteronormative display during their marriage than this. not to mention how it disregards all the pain furina went through with her lack of sense of self and inability to form emotional ties, and neuvi's own arc of isolation from everyone around him. 2 hit mischaracterization combo

also yeah you essentially get hunted for sport if you say it but they literally look related lol. everyone forgot about what visual storytelling is overnight bc the cishet demons possessed them

[daisyachain]

Went out to the town fair yesterday for the first time since like 2018. Fun cultural experience, deep fried goods, etc. The people-watching revealed one dire omen, though, in the patterns of the clothing there. Eleven young woman out of twelve chose to wear a ribbed cotton crop top with light/stone wash high-to-mid-waisted distressed cutoff shorts. The uniformity was shocking. After the first two-odd hours, it started to look like a Twilight Zone episode. What do these people come to, dressing not just in line with an overarching trend, but slavishly adherent to one (1) single outfit established by some nameless influencer and infinitely replicated? They show no colour variation. There were maybe nine-odd I saw through the whole day who wore a mix of pieces to make up a trendy silhouette rather than just wearing the Approved Combo. Ten thousand Ms. Smiths bore down each second on my peripheral vision. The girls of this town life in such terror of male judgment that they’ve delegated all self-expression to one single Steal Her Look graphic that eclipses pre-internet fashion in its narrowness. Seriously. If You’re Going To Honour The Old Tradition of Dressing as a Stampede Slut. At Least Have Some Variety About it. What’s wrong with a plaid shirt knotted just under your boobs, or a crochet top, or a jean jacket over just a bra. It’s disconcerting to see actually around a hundred-odd youths bleaching their most effective method of self-expression into the plainest outfit imaginable. What threats of suffering must these girls endure to want to be perceived as a pair of legs on a department store model.