#(the one with no license plate that is the reason my sister insisted she NEEDED to borrow my moms vehicle)

[neechees]

Ah. My sister tricked my mom into taking the kids the day before child tax day, so she has money but no kids for the weekend.

[olivinesea]

quítate ese miedo

a/n: Happy new years to yall. I’m sorry I’ve been so utterly delinquent with putting out stories (which I imagine that’s generally what you are here for? I don’t have anything else to offer). My big hope for me this year is to write more, so here we go. No warnings. It’s nice, I swear. ~4.7k

Haley gets her license. They go for a drive.

“I got it!”

Aaron looked up from his geometry book that he’d been frowning over for the last forty-five minutes to find Haley standing in the entryway, blue eyes shining and cheeks flushed. Wisps of hair had begun to fall out of her high ponytail, softening the severity of her outfit. Jessica had made fun of her that morning as she left the house for her driver’s test wearing a navy blue blazer and pointed flats she’d borrowed from their mother. Haley had wanted to look professional and mature but Jessica insisted that nothing could hide her teenage acne and obvious need for braces. Haley had screeched, swinging her bag at her older sister while the other girl laughed and skipped backward.

Aaron, standing at the sink cleaning up breakfast, had only just managed to keep hold of the plate he’d been scrubbing. He’d rolled his shoulders, attempting to mask the way he’d jumped at the loud sound but they were so caught up with one another, neither had noticed. He often found himself fighting the urge to shrink into himself at the sharp, sudden chaos of their semi-friendly sibling teasing. Despite having lived there for nearly two months now, he could never understand the way their relationship rolled so easily from sweetness to bitter argument and back again so smoothly, as if neither held a memory longer than a few minutes. No matter how loudly they screamed at each other, it was never long before they were smiling and joking together. It made Aaron dizzy.

Now Haley was back, a triumphant freshly minted legal driver, sixteen years old and ready to terrorize the roads. Aaron couldn’t help smiling, infected by her excitement. It was one of the most confusing but also wonderful things about her. The way she made life seem open, like the possibilities were endless and he had every right to take part in it. She never questioned his presence or made him feel like he was a darkness creeping at the edges of her happiness (as he knew himself to be). Even though he was only a stray that had slunk into their home, she made sure he was included as part of the family.

“Come on,” she insisted, flipping his math book closed with one hand and waving the keys with the other. “It’s time to go.”

He didn’t know where she had in mind and doubted she did either but he was more than willing to follow. “Just give me a second,” he murmured, organizing his supplies, making sure no stray pencil or eraser shaving would be left behind leaving a trail of his existence. Impatient, Haley spun away, kicking off the shoes that had been pinching her toes all morning and running up the stairs, yelling her sister’s name, gleefully boasting of her accomplishment. Aaron could hear their voices muffled through the ceiling, could hear the occasional floorboard creak as Haley darted around her room. He chewed his lip and shook his head, trying to clear the tension that crept upon him automatically as he strained to hear signs of danger in the half-heard syllables, his instinct to run based on the weight behind each footfall.

He’d had to relearn what different sounds meant in this house, had needed to repeatedly tell himself to relax, that not every shriek was a reason to cower, not every crash was followed by pain. He’d been too nervous, too overwhelmed at first to even realize what he was doing, freezing to listen with every muscle, preparing for the unimaginable. One day he noticed Mrs. Brooks watching him, noticed the distress, the worry in her expression at his reactions. It made him sick to his stomach, bile rising up the back of his throat at the realization she both understood and was disturbed by his behavior. He’d made a concentrated effort to stop after that. Gritting his teeth and breathing through his nose, he forced himself to keep moving through whatever task he’d been occupied with, chopping carrots, pouring a glass of water, reading a book.

His nerves begged him not to, sent signal after signal that he should get out of there immediately. The worst was always when Roy came home, booming voice loud enough to make the picture frames stutter on the walls. He’d bring treats, some little gift the girls would pounce on. Instead of withdrawing to a small, dark space where he could close his eyes and count his breaths until the adrenaline spike of fear had passed, he would stand his ground, would smile though it exhausted him. He told himself he would get better with practice, would have to because he owed it to them. He owed this family more than he could give them, the least he could do would be to act as a happy participant in their raucous joys. He wouldn’t take away from their contentment with his embarrassing reflexive behaviors, reminders of how different, how damaged he was. Reminders of the risk they’d welcomed into their lives.

By the time he’d gotten organized and pulled on his shoes, Haley skipped back down the stairs, changed into a more relaxed outfit of sneakers and a sundress. Aaron worried a frayed thread in the cuff of his sweater. He hadn’t yet eased out of his habit of wearing long sleeves regardless of the weather. There was no longer a need for it but it was a familiarity he held onto in the strange new reality of the Brooks home. Besides it wasn’t that warm yet anyway. Haley’s look was more about optimism than warmth, a birthday wish for sunny afternoons with nowhere important to be.

As if hearing his thoughts, she shrugged into her jean jacket, shaking her hair loose from its ponytail with one hand. Aaron stared at the way she moved, confident and careless. He could have felt jealousy, once would have had a fierce bitterness about this evidence of the stark differences in their lives. But with Haley that anger rarely seemed to appear, only an amazement that he should be so lucky to be allowed to be so close. That of all people, after all he’d done, he was the one she chose to bring along with her.

“You okay?” she raised an eyebrow at the intensity of his expression. She was used to people looking at her but she could never fully read him. The sharp features of his face gave away so little insight to the tone of his thoughts.

He remembered to smile and stood up. “Of course,” he gestured toward the door, “After you.”

There was a shout from above as they climbed into the car, Roy’s mustard colored Buick on loan for the special day. When they looked up, Jess was half hanging out the bedroom window, flipping them off with a smirk. Haley laughed and stuck her tongue out, flipping her sunglasses down onto her nose. Aaron ducked his head, unsure of the correct way to respond. His hair fell forward into his eyes as he focused on getting his unreasonably long limbs sorted into the passenger seat. Both settled, Haley backed them slowly into the road. Now that she was driving her high energy was moderated as she focused intently on each element like she was running down a checklist. Her movements were a little stiff despite having no trouble passing her test. This drive felt different, just the two of them, no parents, no teachers. Not even her older sister to needle her with patronizing tips. The newness of the experience crackled around her like static electricity, made her cautious, almost shy.

They navigated through the neighborhood streets, dotted with families washing cars in driveways, kids playing on lawns. The shadows from the leaves threw patterns across the dashboard, the sunlight flickering through the new growth of flower buds just beginning to emerge. Haley kept carefully to the speed limit as they silently wound farther away from the house. She became more confident with each turn, gear shifts becoming more natural, more automatic.

When they reached the main road she turned north, the wide lanes leading them away from the center of town. Haley rolled her window down and turned the music up too loud on the stereo. His fingers twitched with a desire to lower it but she wrapped her hand around the back of his.

“It’s fine!” she grinned at him, her teeth and the teal frames of her sunglasses sparkling.

He rolled his eyes, sighing as he leaned his head back against the seat. “Keep your eyes on the road,” he muttered, not upset but tense with the speed at which the buildings blurred past.

She squeezed his hand. “Okay, dad,” she teased wickedly.

“Ugh!” He pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair, making the already disorganized mess stick out strangely.

She only laughed and drove faster, completely comfortable now. Soon they were out of town entirely, the road becoming a two lane highway. Haley shouted along to the radio, something a little too exuberant to be considered singing but not unpleasant. Aaron felt himself unwind the further they got from the orderly buildings, the sidewalks and the streetlights. Out here, with the hills rolling into mountains in the distance, he didn’t have to be so guarded, didn’t have to try so hard to appear like he belonged. The song changed, something softer and older that he recognized. His mother liked this song, he thought. He had an incomplete memory of her holding his hands, small and childish, as she sang to him. He hummed along without realizing it. Haley noticed but didn’t say anything, just pleased that he seemed content.

They drove for awhile, aimless and unconcerned with when or where they were going, time nothing more substantial than the breeze flowing through the open windows. After passing through the next few towns, Haley turned off the highway to follow along less traveled backroads. She made left and right turns at whim, confident that she’d be able to find her way back to the main road when she felt like it. She’d lived here all her life, the landscape was enough of a map to get her back home when needed.

The drive lulled Aaron into a sort of reverie, the pale greens and golds melting into a canvas for his memories. He’d had too much time to think recently, no longer having to devote so much energy to survival, to avoiding trouble both earned and unearned. He found himself reviewing his memories in detail, examining them for clues about himself, about his family. Despite how kind the Brooks had been to him, how much they insisted he stay as long as he liked, he knew he’d have to return home at some point. When he did, he hoped to do so with a better understanding, some sort of knowledge that would help him. Because, despite everything, despite how badly they’d all behaved, he couldn’t help loving them.

Even his father, the man who had mistreated him since he was too small to understand—he found he couldn’t quite hate him. Not completely. He was angry and resentful but he couldn’t shake the desire for his approval, for his love, whatever that might look like. This prickled him, making him feel crazy and illogical. Made him doubt his worst memories. Surely if those parts were true he’d want nothing do do with the man. Maybe he was only being dramatic, giving more weight to things than he should. Every family had their arguments, surely his couldn’t be so much worse than any other. Surely if he loved them, he could do something to fix it.

These thoughts were a well worn spiral in his mind, one he was unable to think through to a clear end. So he’d taken to hunting his memory for objective facts. A pointless exercise, anyone could have told him memories are the last place to find such a thing. But he was still too young to realize that so he kept trying, pulling out details, making careful lists as if his life were some sort of scale that could be balanced, as if enough weight on one side or the other could point him to a solution.

A hand on his knee made him recoil hard enough to knock his shoulder against the door.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry,” the car slowed as Haley stumbled through an apology. “I was trying to get your attention but I think you fell asleep?”

Aaron grasped at the excuse, grateful that she’d suggested such a normal reason for his reaction. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, leaning into the role of someone normal, someone who’d only dozed off and been startled. He almost yawned before deciding that would be selling it a little too hard. “Mm, yeah, I think I did. Sorry about that.”

She glanced at him but seemed to decide she didn’t need to worry further. “You hungry? I’m hungry.”

He shrugged, he was always hungry but it wasn’t a sensation he paid much attention to. “Sure.” He looked outside with more awareness. “Where are we?”

“Not sure exactly.”

He raised his eyebrows at her but she didn’t sound concerned.

“Pretty sure the highway is a couple miles that way,” she pointed out the window. “I think we’re only an hour or so away from home.”

“How is that possible?” He looked at the clock, trying to count backwards and calculate distance.

“I’ve been making a lot of loops. Haven’t you been looking out the window this whole time?” she sounded amused but also a little horrified. She could feel direction like the sinew in her body and it seemed unthinkable that he didn’t have his own internal compass.

“I guess I was asleep for longer than I thought.” He hoped the excuse was good enough to cover this deficiency as well.

As it turned out, Haley got them back to the highway quickly and a milage sign told them they were in fact only forty miles from their town. They decided to drive straight back and get burgers at Haley’s favorite place downtown. The spell on his thoughts broken, Aaron did his best to pay attention to his surroundings, to make conversation with Haley. She was easy to talk with, happy to chatter about a variety of topics, all he had to do was ask a question here and there. By the time they’d made it back she’d covered upcoming auditions for the spring musical, the lack of options for girls’ sports teams, her babysitting clients recent antics and, a favorite, her ongoing plot to convince her mother to allow her to get a kitten. Mrs. Brooks insisted cats, like all animals, were fine outside but not meant to live in the house, certainly not her house.

“I mean, it’s perfect, it’s my birthday. She has to say yes, obviously. Right?” Haley pulled into the parking lot of the burger shack as she finished laying out her plan.

Aaron agreed even though this logic sounded faulty to him. But what did he know about the effects of birthdays on pet negotiations? There were no pets and no birthdays in the Hotchner household. He was more focused on trying to surreptitiously count the money he had in his pocket, unsure he’d have enough. He’d been working at Roy’s store on Sundays since he’d been back but he didn’t make that much and was trying to save what he could. He figured he could probably get away with just some fries, he wasn’t that hungry really.

Annoyingly, Haley had other ideas. She ordered two of everything and paid, all while pointedly ignoring him. When they sat down at the outdoor picnic tables he tried to hand her money for his meal but she waved her hand.

“It’s my birthday.”

He frowned. “Doesn’t that mean I should be paying for you?”

She kicked him lightly. “No, it means you have to do what I say and not complain.”

He groaned but put his money away. Haley was too frustrating to argue with when she’d made a decision. The food appeared quickly, two cheeseburgers, fries and two milkshakes—one strawberry, one chocolate. Everything was delicious and he was hungrier than he’d thought. It was silent while they ate, too fixated on the different moving parts. Looking up, they both laughed when they saw how they’d devoured their meals.

“I’m so full,” Haley complained dramatically. “I can’t move.”

Aaron laid back on the bench, stretching out in the sunlight to make more room in his stomach. “Me too. I think I might pass out.”

Haley checked her watch. “Ugh, we should head back though. My dad will be home soon. He said he was bringing a surprise.”

“Mm,” Aaron’s response was noncommittal and muffled by the arm he was using to block the light from his eyes. He had far too much salt and sugar in his veins to react further.

“Do you want to drive?”

That caught his attention. He pushed himself up to lean on his elbows. “What?”

“Do you want to drive? You’re probably bored of just being the passenger. I mean, we’re basically home anyway.”

“I don’t know…”

“You’ve driven before, haven’t you? It’ll be fun.”

“Haley, I—“

“It’s my birthday,” she said, as if that was the ultimate trump card. “Besides, you’ve been in the car for all my lessons, I’m sure you’re better than me anyway.”

Aaron couldn’t resist the temptation, her excitement was always so contagious. He had spent countless hours in the backseat as Roy coached Haley through her first outings on the road. He thought maybe he had paid enough attention, absorbed enough to get by. It really didn’t look that complicated. He smiled a little as the idea pulsed in his fingertips, already imagining the way it would feel to be in the driver’s seat. “Okay.”

Haley clapped her hands together, pleased to be getting her way and, even more so, to see the spark of adventure in his eye. He’d been so tame, so subdued since returning, she sometimes worried he was drifting away. Like he was afraid to express interest in things, afraid to have fun. But Haley Brooks was an expert at fun and highly determined. This was a brilliant idea, she was sure of it.

It started out smoothly enough. Aaron got them out of the parking lot and onto the road. They were less than a mile from home, just one major intersection and then half a dozen turns through the neighborhood. Despite their initial exuberance, they fell into an anxious silence as Aaron concentrated all his attention on operating the gear shift. Haley gave him quiet reassurances as they changed lanes and got through the light turning into the neighborhood. Aaron relaxed his grip on the wheel, the white skin around his knuckles darkening with the return of normal circulation.

Haley made a joke about his granny-level caution as they stopped at an intersection and he markedly looked left then right then left again. Aaron started to laugh, nerves making her idle effort seem funnier than it was. He started to drive forward again when a movement blurred the corner of his vision. He slammed on the breaks before realizing there was someone right behind him. The other driver swerved around him, honking and waving an angry gesture in their direction. Aaron’s breath caught as he tried to shift the car back into gear but it stalled out.

“It’s okay,” Haley tried to keep them both calm but Aaron’s regret for ever agreeing to this, his acute awareness that this stupid idea was going to get him in far more trouble than it was worth, was overtaking his rational control. He stomped on the pedals a little too hard, face hot with embarrassment. Too many moments later the car responded, lurching forward unexpectedly. Aaron had been scowling at the gears and instinctively jerked the wheel to the side, imagining something had materialized in front of the car. He felt certain he was about to run some child over with this giant machine he should never have touched.

The sharp change in direction brought them directly into contact with a signpost. The jolt and shattering of glass echoed through both of them like a broken bone. Defeated, Aaron simply pulled up the brake and turned off the car. He couldn’t look at Haley, didn’t think he could handle the disgust he imagined he’d find there. After a moment, his ears cleared of the horrible crunch and he could hear Haley trying to talk to him.

“It’s okay, it’s fine. I don’t think it’s that bad, Aaron, honestly.” Her voice was quiet and if she hadn’t said his name he wouldn’t have known she was talking to him.

He wanted to apologize but he couldn’t make any sound come out, the weight in his chest was too heavy, crushing him so he could barely breathe.

“Let’s just get home, okay. We can deal with it there.”

When Aaron didn’t move she got out of the car, wincing as she saw the broken headlight, before going to open the driver’s door. She had to repeat his name twice to get him to look away from the splintered signpost. He managed to get himself out of the car, walking like a zombie to the passenger side. For the last few blocks he stared straight ahead, counting all the things this mistake would take from him. Haley parked carefully in the driveway and looked over at Aaron, upset by the way his lips had gone pale.

“I’ll just say it was my fault,” she offered.

“What? No! Why would you do that?” he was horrified by this idea.

“I mean,” she traced her finger along the steering wheel, “It was my fault. It was my idea, I shouldn’t have…”

Aaron shook his head so hard she worried about his brain. “No.” His voice was clipped and she realized he was angry. She rarely saw him angry and reflected on how strange that was. If she’d had to experience everything he’d gone through she’d be angry all the time, she was sure. Before she could think about it further he was out of the car, examining the damaged glass. He picked off a loose piece that had been hanging at an angle, pressing it between his thumb and finger. He looked up when she came to stand next to him.

“I will fix this,” he said, eyes hard. “It was my fault.”

There was no point in arguing with him, so she only nodded and followed him inside to wait for her dad to get home.

They sat beside each other on the couch, close but not touching. Haley slouched forward, elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hand while she wrapped and unwrapped a strand of hair around a finger. Aaron sat up, so tense he nearly shook with it, digging his nails into the skin on his arms to keep from running. Haley noticed and reached out, entwining her fingers through his, smoothing the dents in his skin with soft fingertips.

By the time Roy got home half an hour later, Aaron was certain he was going to throw up. Roy walked in as loud as ever, calling brightly for Haley before he’d cleared the front door. When he got to the living room however, he saw how somber they were and frowned. “What’s all this now?”

Haley took a deep breath. “Okay, don’t be mad but—“

Aaron pulled his hand away from hers and shook his head, stopping her before she could start admitting to faults that weren’t hers. Roy looked expectantly at Aaron who felt his face get warm but began talking. He kept his gaze on the floor beyond Roy’s left shoulder. “I crashed your car sir. It was my fault. I made Haley let me drive….” He started to ramble, not sure exactly what he was saying, just trying to at least get Haley out of trouble, spare her whatever anger would come of this. Maybe if he talked enough Roy would forget Haley is involved at all, would focus his inevitable fury entirely on the ungrateful nuisance in front of him.

Roy sat in a chair opposite them, watching Aaron curiously as the boy continued spinning out a litany of reasons he should take the sole blame, of all the things he will do to repay Roy for the damage he’d caused. Finally he held up a hand to get Aaron to stop talking. He rubbed his chin and frowned but with an expression that wasn’t anger.

“You don’t know how to drive?”

Aaron was taken aback both by the question and the calmness with which it was asked. He swallowed. “No, sir.”

“How old are you?”
 “Seventeen.”

Roy squinted at him. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

“What?” Aaron was too confused to stop the impolite reaction from slipping out. He shuddered when he heard how it sounded, the open challenge in his tone.

“That you couldn’t drive. You could have practiced with Haley.”

Aaron blinked, unsure how to respond. “I…I’m sorry?”

Roy ignored him, only stood up, shaking his head and muttering too quietly for them to hear more than a word or two. Aaron was certain he caught the word Hotchner and possibly some swearing but it didn’t seem directed at him. Roy went back out the front door and they followed. They remain a cautious distance back as he examined the broken headlight.

“Eh, that’s easy enough to fix. We can go to the shop tomorrow to get a new lamp and I’ll show you how to put it in. Then I’ll take you out for a proper lesson.”

Aaron stared at him, dazed, but Haley skipped over and hugged her dad. “You’re the best!” She pressed her face into his shoulder. “We’re so sorry.”

Roy huffed. “Seventeen and not knowing how to drive. That’s just not right.”

Aaron felt awkward then, understanding the reason for Roy’s reaction. The man viewed this situation as a failing by his own father. He felt the unreasonable urge to defend him, felt the excuses rise to his lips easily enough. But he knew it might not be the best idea to start an argument with the owner of the car he’d just crashed, who’s house he was allowed to live in for reasons he didn���t quite comprehend. Before he could decide where his loyalty belonged, Haley looked down the driveway.

“Who’s car is that?”

Roy looked over his shoulder casually. “Hmm? Oh that thing?”

Haley stepped around him to get closer at the small gray car. It was boxy and the seats inside were a little faded. She turned back around to look at her dad suspiciously.

“Well, Ms. Grace wanted to get rid of it, said she was too old to be driving. And I thought you might be needing something to get around in with that new license of yours. You sure can’t be taking my car all the time.” He held up a set of keys. Haley shrieked, jumping to hug him again.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou”

Roy laughed. “You’ll have to share with your sister.”

Haley rolled her eyes but nothing could dampen her glee. She turned to Aaron who was still frozen by too many unexpected events in the last ten minutes. He forced a smile back at her, amazed that this was something that really happened to people.

“Happy birthday sweetheart,” Roy said, handing Haley the keys. “I’m going to go find your mother.” He turned to walk back inside and as he passed Aaron, he patted him gently on the shoulder. Aaron looked at him with a strained expression, still finding it impossible to believe that he wasn’t about to be kicked out, at the very least.

“It’s alright, son. You’re alright.”

[spacesuitsforemergency]

Everyone Loves Jaime Reyes

Word Count: 2.2k

Requested by @lina-lovebug: Jaime Reyes x Bucky Barnes daughter! Reader? And when they finally meet, Scarab is like, "Jaime Reyes, your heart rate has increased" "Jaime Reyes, he wants to kill you"

A/N: loved this prompt so I made this a short oneshot! Bucky is literally my favorite person to write as a dad (Music Meister is a close second tho)

“Jaime, you have got to chillax, dude.” Tye watched as his friend paced back and forth in front of the tv. “And move, I’m trying to watch the game.”

“This is a little more important than football, Tye!” Jaime snapped, running a hand through his hair.

You were on your way to his house, along with your father. And your father was the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes. The man with a huge metal arm that could probably kill someone with his thumb. Jaime’s parents were cooking in the kitchen, his sister was over at her friends house, and he called up Tye for moral support. And oh how helpful he was being, as usual.

“Okay, but stop pacing, you’re driving me nuts.” Tye rolled his eyes. “You need to calm yourself. It’s just the Winter Soldier. It’s not like it’s...I don’t know, Doctor Doom.”

“But it’s the Winter Soldier! He used to be an assassin! His best friend is Captain America! He’s an Avenger, hermano! What do you mean ‘it’s just the Winter Soldier’?!” Jaime grabbed Tye’s shoulders and shook him.

“Jaime, let’s not give Tye whiplash, please?” Jaime’s mother calls from the kitchen. “I’m off the clock, I will not be setting any broken bones tonight.”

“Sorry, mami.” Jaime sighed, smoothing out Tye’s shirt.

“Anyways...just act like you always do, everyone loves you.” Tye motioned for Jaime to get out of the way of the tv. “And maybe take a deep breath before you pass out.”

Jaime nods but doesn’t take the deep breath.

‘Jaime Reyes, your heart rate is dangerously high. I suggest following the Tye Longshadow’s instructions.’ Khaji Da piped up.

“I told you no side commentary today! What part of that do you not understand?” Jaime hissed at the Scarab.

Tye raised an eyebrow at Jaime, honestly worried about his friends sanity. He knew Khaji Da was probably talking Jaime’s ear off right now, but the dude needed to calm down. Meeting girlfriends parents was always nerve wracking, so it was reasonable for Jaime to be slightly panicked about meeting an Avenger.

Jaime jumped when his phone buzzed, and quickly dove for it. He picked it up, reading a text from you.

“They’re five minutes away!” Jaime shouted to nobody in particular, dashing down the hall to the bathroom. He checked his hair for the millionth time that day, wanting to look perfect for you. He took a few deep breaths, finally heeding Tye and Khaji Da’s words. He ignored Tye yelling at the tv and his parents cooking, just trying to remain calm. That didn’t last long, when he heard the doorbell rang.

“Jaime, that’s for you!” His father shouted down the hall.

“Should I get that or can you handle not going into cardiac arrest?” Tye asked from the couch as Jaime rushed to the door.

Jaime took one more breath, before slapping a smile on his face and opening the door.

“Y/N! Hi, mi rey!” He smiled happily, temporarily forgetting about the giant man behind you. He leaned down to kiss you on the cheek, then stepped aside. “Come on in.”

“Hi Mr and Mrs. Reyes!” You wave to them. “Hey Tye!”

“Sup?” Tye nods in acknowledgement, not taking his eyes off the football game.

“Hi Mr. Barnes, I’m Jaime.” He holds out his hand to your dad. He looks him up and down slowly, before finally, and very firmly shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Jaime.” He says quietly. His eyes are narrowed at the boy as if he were suspicious of him, and his mouth was twisted in a frown.

“Dad, be nice.” You say through your teeth. You had told your dad to go easy on Jaime, and to try and not give him a heart attack. Your dad was always kind and gentle with you, but it was a completely different story with any of your boyfriends. You loved Jaime and wanted this relationship to work out, so you warned your dad to not scare him away.

“I am.” He muttered, eyes wandering to the tv. “What’s the score, kid?”

“Cowboys are loosing 13-22!” Tye shouted angrily, crushing an empty soda can in his hand. “And it’s the last 3 minutes!”

“Told you your team sucks.” You snicker, then laugh harder at the glare you receive.

“I’m gonna watch the rest of the game.” Your dad tells you, then glared at Jaime until he’s sitting on the couch.

‘Jaime Reyes, the Bucky Barnes has hostile intentions towards you. I suggest we neutralize him.’ Scarab says.

“We’re not killing anyone, Scarab!” Jaime whispered.

“Ignore him.” You tell Jaime, in deference to your dad. “He’s a big Teddy Bear, he’s just a little...”

“Terrifying?”

“I was going to say overprotective, but that also works.” You giggle. “Don’t let him scare you. I promise by the end of dinner he’s going to love you.” You give him a reassuring smile, along with a kiss on the cheek.

“Jaime, will you come help set the table?” His mom asks from the kitchen.

“Coming, mami!” He rushed over. You follow and help him set down plates and silverware, despite his mom insisting he’s got it.

“Oh come on!” Your dad and Tye both groan at the tv, as the game ends and the team lost.

Your dad introduces himself to Jaime’s parents in the kitchen, while Tye joins you two in the dining room.

“Your dads cool. Even if he’s a Colts fan.” Tye says as he plops down in his seat, not offering to help finish setting the table. “What are you so worried about Jaime? He’s chill.”

“You’re not dating his daughter.” Jaime mumbled as you giggled.

“Got me there, man.” Tye leaned back in his seat.

You all sit down for dinner, your dad easily has a nice conversation with Jaime’s parents. Jaime listens to every word his parents say, signaling to stop if they start to talk about something embarrassing or stupid he’s done.

From your point of view it’s going really well. Your dad and Jaime’s parents easily start chatting about...whatever it is adults like to talk about. You watch as Jaime’s hands shake nervously as he eats, and his eyes are darting between his parents and your dad as they speak. Tye’s not paying attention, digging into his food as if he hadn’t eaten in his life.

“So Jaime, do you play any sports?” Your dad finally turns to him.

“Uh...I’m on the basketball team, yeah.” Jaime nodded, stuttering as he spoke. “Used to play baseball too.”

“Basketball, nice.” Your dad nodded in approval. “You any good?”

“Jaimes on varsity.” You smiled.

“He’s a star point guard.” Mr. Reyes smiled. “We’re very proud of him.”

”And what grades do you get?”

“Straight A���s, sir.”

“Do you have a drivers license?”

“Um...yes.”

“You don’t sound sure about that.”

“I’m sorry, Uh...I have my drivers license sir.”

“Mm hm. Have you had a job yet?”

“Dad!” You hiss at him, giving him The Look™️. Mr and Mrs. Reyes look between the three of you, actually trying not to laugh. They both get that a father can be protective of their daughter, so they understood all the questions directed towards their son.

You and your dad narrow your eyes at one another, as if challenging each other. Jaime makes eye contact with his parents, shrugging. Then Bucky glares down at the kid, making his eyes widen in fear.

“Can somebody pass the pico?”

You all slowly turn to Tye, who apparently didn’t realize the tension in the air between your boyfriend and...everyone. He looks up from his plate expectedly, raising an eyebrow at everyone.

“What?”

“Oh por el amor de Dios.” Jaime shook his head as his mother passed it over, then smacked her sons hand. “Ow! What?”

“Cuidado con lo que dice.” She mumbled to him.

“Am I missing something?” Tye asked.

‘Kill the Tye Longshadow. He is too stupid to allow to live.’ Khaji Da folds Jaime. He bit back his response, but didn’t let the Scarab activate the armor.

Dinners quiet after that, awkward tension now in the air. Jaime got even more anxious, worried that he completely ruined it and that your dad truly hated him.

‘Jaime Reyes, your mate is growing angry. I suggest you calm her.’ Scarab alerts him.

He looks over and noticed you glaring at your dad, both of you raising your eyebrows at each other as if you were telepathically communicating. Your fists are balled up in your lap, and he discreetly places his over yours under the table. You loosen one hand and intertwine your fingers with his, slowly cooling off.

‘Jaime Reyes. We should annihilate the Bucky Barnes. He will get in the way of your companionship with your mate.’

“Stop.” Jaime whispers as quiet as he can, but everyone could hear it in the tense silence.

“So...who’s up for dessert?” Mr. Reyes stands up, taking some of the empty plates.

“Allow me.” Your dad clears his throat, taking the rest of the plates and following him to the kitchen. Mrs. Reyes gives an awkward smile before following them. You look at The expectantly, but he doesn’t take the hint to leave and just pulls out his phone.

“Khaji Da, I told you not today!” Jaime scolds the Scarab. “Man, I’m totally blowing this, aren’t I?”

“No you’re not.” You reassure him. “I’m gonna talk to him again, I told him to knock off interrogation mode.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, still not quite believing that he’s making a good impression on your father.

“Positive. You’re on varsity basketball, I’m surprised he hasn’t asked more about that.” You rubs his shoulder. “Try to bring that up again, he loves sports.”

“Ooh, and tell him about the big win last season.” Tye smacked his arm, not looking up from his phone. “And tell him how you stole the ball from me.”

“For the last time you passed it to me, it’s not my fault I happened to make the wining shot-“

“Hey!” You snap your fingers. “We don’t have time for your saltiness, Tye.”

“I am not salty.” He grumbled, but you both ignore him.

“Just keep up the sports talk, it’ll be fine.” You tell Jaime.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Jaime!”

“I’m just making sure!”

He shuts up when he sees the parents all coming back to the table, setting down plates of chocolate cake for everyone. You thank Mrs. Reyes before beginning to eat, nudging Jaime to tell him to start talking. He shook his head and shrugged, not really knowing how to start up the conversation.

“Hey dad, did you know Jaime scored the winning point for the tournament last season?” You clear your throat.

“Really? That’s impressive.” Bucky perks up. “How’d it go down?”

Jaime excitedly tells him (in much detail) about the last minute of the game and how him and Tye scores the winning points. He’s smiling and motioning around as he answers your dads many questions about it, and you feel better about this dinner now. You think it’s really cute when he talks about something he’s passionate about, so you catch yourself gazing at him.

“Well maybe you two can come down to the Avengers Compound, and Y/N and I can put you punks in your place.” Your dad grins and lightly punches Jaime’s arm. “If that’s okay with you, Mr. and Mrs. Reyes.”

“Jaime’s a superhero, I think some basketball will do him some good.” His mom stands up to take her empty plate to the sink, ruffling Jaime’s hair as she passed.

“Mom!” Jaime swatted her hand away, smoothing our his hair that he fixed for hours.

“Cool, can’t wait to crush you two.” Tye piped up, finally putting away his phone and opting to cross his arms.

“You wish, Cowboys fan.” Your dad scoffed.

“Oh yeah, Colts fan? We’ll see about that.” Tye challenged.

“No more football talk at the table.” You scold them.

“Well, we have to get going.” Your dad announces. “It was so nice to meet you.”

“You as well, Mr. Barnes.” Mr. Reyes smiles and shakes his hand.

You follow your dad as he says his goodbyes, give your boyfriend a kiss, then leave with him.

“So? Do you like him?” You ask your father as you get into the car.

“I actually do like this one. He’s polite and respectful.” He nodded as he started the car. “Sorry for grilling him back there, I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

“It’s alright. You liked him and that’s what matters.” You grinned.

“No, you like him and that’s what matters.” He corrected you.

“I love you, daddy.” You lean over to hug him.

“Love you too, babydoll.” He half hugged you. “Now get off I have to drive.”

You giggle and pull out your phone to text Jaime; He likes you! He says your polite and sweet!

Jaime reads the text and sighs in relief, thankful that the weight was lifted off his shoulders. Him and Tye were in his room now, preparing to play a new video game that just came out.

“Is that her? What’d she say?” Tye asked as he turned on the XBOX.

“He liked me.” Jaime set his phone down and picked up his controller. “Thank god, I thought I was gonna die.”

“Drama queen.” Tye mumbled.

‘Jaime Reyes, the Bucky Barnes still seemed to have hostile intentions towards you. I insist that we kill him.’

“Khaji Da, I am not telling you again!”

[spaceskam]

Could you maybe write something about Michael calling Alex, Alexander?

Sympathy For The Devil

Summary: Michael and Alex have been happily married for sometime until it’s revealed that Alex has lied about a few too many things. Can they come back from it?

warning: mentions of suicide

ao3

“Please open up.”

Michael stared at the front door of his sister’s house. She and her husband had gone on vacation but allowed him to stay because he didn’t exactly have many options. And still, despite the fact he’d gone all the way from Denver to Roswell fucking New Mexico, the one person he’d been wanting to avoid the most was right outside that door despite the fact there was a massive storm.

“I know you’re there, your car’s out front. You know, unless you’re actually a stranger and you stole my husband’s car and didn’t change the plates,” that voice said like it didn’t belong to a liar, “Look, I know you don’t want to talk to me or see me, but… Michael, you deserve to get to know me. You deserve that at the very least. So, please, just open the door.”

Michael heaved a breath and rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. They’d already been rubbed raw from spending the last two weeks crying and trying not to cry and failing. He looked rough. He felt rough. He really didn’t want to open that door.

But, fuck, he really kinda did.

“Michael,” he said, “Just give me this last night. Let me try to show you that we might be able to fix this. Let me try.” 

And wasn’t that just so convincing?

Slowly, Michael cracked open the door. The man on the other side looked like his husband, he smiled like his husband, he was standing like a flamingo in a shitty attempt to keep his prosthetic out of the rain puddles just like his husband, but he wasn’t his husband. His husband didn’t exist. Alex Whitman was nothing more than a character created by Captain Alexander Manes.

“Hi,” Alexander said with that stolen smile, “You look great.”

“You just can’t stop lying, can you?” Michael demanded. Alex, no, Alexander’s smile began to falter, but he put it back on because he was a liar. “How did you find me? No, why did you find me?”

“Because I refuse to let that be the way we end. I need to at least try. You deserve me to try and you deserve an explanation. You deserve everything, Michael,” Alexander insisted, “I know how we can save our marriage.”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at that statement. Mostly because they literally weren’t legally married in the first place. Turns out you can’t file a marriage license when half of the couple doesn’t exist. But, admittedly, part of him was curious. A massive part was curious. He was desperate to know why he’d lied.

“So you stalked me?”

“I didn’t stalk you!” Alexander said, bracing himself on the doorway as he continued to balance on his leg, “I just… Googled Isobel Evans-Valenti until I found an address while sitting in my car on the shoulder of I-25.”

“So you stalked my sister, cool,” Michael sighed, his eyes focusing on Alex’s leg. He knew that his Alex hated it when it rained and he had to be outside. It was bad for his prosthetic, but, more than that, it just made the liner and sleeve gross and sloshy in the socket. And here he was, standing in a storm, soaking wet and probably extra sloshy just for a chance.

“Michael,” Alexander said like he had the right, “Everything we need to save our marriage is in this envelope.” He fished out a surprisingly dry envelope from his backpack. Michael debated what to do for a moment. “After tonight, if you still don’t want to see me again, then I’ll go and leave you alone. Just let me try.”

Michael decided that even if this was the pathological liar that ruined his life, he didn’t deserve a fucked-up metal leg. Of all the lies, he at least knew that was real.

“I want to know the truth,” Michael said, eyeing him as he slowly let the door open wider, “If I let you in, are you gonna tell me the truth?” Alexander nodded sincerely. Michael sighed as he opened the door wider, gesturing towards the inside.

Alexander smiled so bright that it felt like being stabbed.

Michael had watched his Alex take off his prosthetic leg countless times in the two years they’d been together. Hell, he’d seen him do it on their first date that had lasted five hours longer than anticipated with them both tipsy on wine and each other. It’d never bothered him, it was apart of Alex and he loved every bit of that man. However, at this moment, he couldn’t even look at him. It felt too intimate to watch a stranger do. Even if he had done on their first date.

Still, Michael got him a towel and allowed himself to watch as he dried off the leg as best he could to avoid any rust. Then he did his best to pat down the liner and the sleeve but didn’t put them back on as he stared at them with some type of worry. Michael knew he really had to wait until they dried or else some serious chaffing would happen which meant he was going to be here for a while. Michael sighed.

“Look, I’ll go get you some clothes to change into.”

“Wait,” Alexander called, “Open the envelope.”

Michael slowly did as he said and hooked his thumb under the flap. Alexander pulled out his phone, resting it on the side table and then turning to watch Michael. He paused.

“Are you recording this?” Michael asked and Alex smiled innocently, “Why?” He wasn’t sure why he asked that when he knew very well why his Alex audio recorded everything. He had given Michael a big spiel about how ‘you never know what you missed the first time around’ which had sounded charming the first time he’d heard it, but sounded like the biggest slap in the face when he had recorded their arguments. Even that wasn’t all bad. Alex had come to him a day after their first big one and said he listened to it and apologized profusely for the way he raised his voice. He said he didn’t want to be another person on the long list of people who had screamed at Micheal for unprecedented reasons.

“You never know what you might miss the first time around,” Alexander said like it was charming. Because he always said it like it was charming. Fuck, it was.

With a sigh, Michael opened the envelope and pulled out the paper. He felt a chill go down his spine as he read the title. The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.

“What is this?” he asked, his eyes flickering up to Alexander who was still trying so hard to look positive despite the fact his damp hair was matted to his forehead and he couldn’t walk and he had about 15 minutes before he started smelling like a wet dog.

“You know,” Alexander said, “Like our first date.”

“You mean my first date with Alex where every question had a made-up answer?” Michael questioned. Alex shook his head.

“Pretty much every answer was real. Who I was with you was the real me, I swear,” Alex said. Michael took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he clenched the paper in his hands. “It worked the first time, why can’t it work now?”

There were a million reasons that it couldn’t work now. The main, glaring one was the fact that Alex wasn’t a real person and they’d started out on a lie. Everything was a fucking lie. Even if he was desperate to know the truth, how was he supposed to trust him?

“I don’t trust you, Alexander, that’s why,” Michael said simply.

“Don’t call me that, call me Alex.”

“No, my husband’s name was Alex and it wasn’t short for anything. How do I know you’re not just lying about what you’re called, Alexander?” Alexander took a deep, slow breath and nodded.

“Okay, I deserve that,” he said, nodding, “Fine I’ll be Alexander today.” That felt like a punch in the gut and he quickly realized his wrong choice of words. “That’s not what I meant, I just meant‒”

“I know,” Michael said. He couldn’t hide how resigned he was. He was tired and sad and part of him just wanted to go back to last month when he was sick and laying on his husband’s bare chest and listening to him recite The fucking Odyssey by heart. Or, loosely by heart. He added some more eccentric wording. Michael’s favorite had been: “There is the heat of love, the pulsing rush longing, the lover’s whisper, your face probably‒that shit can fuck up even the straightest man.”

“If you don’t want to, we can‒”

“If I do this with you, will you leave me alone forever?” Michael asked. Alexander stared at him for a moment before he nodded. “Then I’ll answer them. Let me go get you something dry to wear so you don’t get water all over my sister’s house.”

Michael turned and left to get him clothes before Alex could respond. He stepped into the guest bedroom that he’d made his home, having trashed it with his clothes and empty tubs of ice cream and candy wrappers. He took a moment to close his eyes and calm himself down. It was going to be okay. He could do this. It was just one night where he finally got the fucking truth and then he’d be gone forever. It’s not like the questions would actually work this time. Each and every answer would just be a reminder of how he had lied and ruined two Michael’s life. How he’d put him in a position where he would have to tell all his friends and coworkers and everyone that his husband actually had been lying to him for their entire relationship and be surrounded by a neverending stream of pity. He’d ruined him.

But he could do this. Just one more night.

He grabbed a pair of sweats and a baggy shirt for Alexander to wear, making sure they weren’t anything special before he gave them to him. The last thing he wanted him to do was ruin anything else. Once he was sure he could go on without the two articles of clothing, he brought them back out to Alexander.

“Here,” Michael sighed, handing him the clothes before turning around. Alex was sort of stuck in place because he didn’t have his crutches which annoyingly made Michael feel bad. He wondered how long it would take before he stopped giving extra thought towards everything to make sure it was disability-friendly. Hell, his first thought, when he took a shower at Isobel’s, was that Alex would need a bench, but Alex wasn’t even there.

“All done!” Alex said cheerfully because for some reason he was trying to pretend like this was normal. Nothing about this was normal.

Michael turned around and felt a sting in the back of his eyes. Alexander looked too much like Alex. Hair was haphazardly dried, sticking up every which way and making him look painfully young. Michael’s clothes were already big on him, so his bigger clothes dwarfed him in a way that made Micahel just wanna cuddle up to with him. But it wasn’t his sweet Alex‒this was manipulative Captain Alexander Manes who had managed to get a fake ID and fake passport and evaded his entire military background just so no one would find out that he wasn’t Alex Whitman.

“Okay,” Michael said, collapsing on the couch. Alexander lifted himself off the chair and awkwardly hopped towards the couch, flopping down on the other end with his phone in hand.

“Before we start the questions, I want you to know that Alex Whitman was apart of me. It… It feels weird to me too, to put him to rest like this,” Alexander said. Michael rolled his eyes, keeping his gaze away from the man and instead on literally anything else.

“We’re not putting him to rest. You’re the one who made him up, he isn’t fucking real,” Michael sighed, rubbing his eyes against, “Listen, I just want the same thing I wanted when those fucking army guys came to the house two weeks ago: the truth. Why did you lie to me? Why would you make up Alex Whitman in the first place?”

Alexander was silent for a moment and when Michael dared to look at him, he had a level of guilt on his face that Michael didn’t know he was capable of. But, then again, maybe that was fake too. He wouldn’t be surprised.

“When we met, I was… not in a good place. I just wanted some type of escape. So I gave you a fake name and then when you showed up for our date with those questions because you wanted to be cute and charming, it felt like an opportunity to be someone better. If I knew I was going to fall in love with you, I never would’ve lied. I just thought it was a one-time thing. I never wanted to hurt you,” Alex promised. Michael looked up as tears brimmed his eyes all over again. This felt so stupid. Why was he still crying? He’d had two weeks to get passed the crying stage. “Alex Whitman was a good escape, even if he was imaginary.”

“He was fucking real to me, Alexander,” Michael snapped, looking at him and forcing the tears away. Alexander nodded.

“I know. I loved him too, Michael, he’s who I wanted to be so badly,” he said and Michael scoffed, “Listen, I don’t expect you to completely understand why I did what I did or even forgive me for it. I just want to be honest.”

Michael closed his eyes for a moment. Honest. He says he wants to be honest. He promises that he wants to be honest. Michael can do that.

“Okay, then let’s get this over with,” Michael said, letting out a breath as he reached for the paper with all the questions. He never thought he’d be doing this twice. “Number one, given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?”

“Fantastic question, Mr. Guerin, do you remember my answer the first time?” Alexander said, giving that big smile. It was the one where his cheekbones seemed to be downright offensive and he wanted to go all middle-aged aunt and pinch them. He didn’t.

“You said Margaret Hamilton and I was convinced you only chose her to impress me because I’m an engineer,” Michael said. He remembered being shocked that some guy that looked that pretty and who was unemployed knew who Margaret Hamilton even was. “You told me it was because you liked people who could outsmart you.”

“Which is true, one of the reasons I love you, but I also met her once and she was super cool,” Alexander said. Michael looked to him genuinely bewildered. “I went to MIT and majored in software engineering. She used to be the director or something of that division, so she visited campus and I got to meet her. See? Honesty.”

“Okay, so, what, you’re some super-secret genius?” Michael asked. Alex smiled and shook his head.

“Nah, I didn’t graduate. Got bored,” he said simply. Michael couldn’t imagine giving up that chance of a lifetime simply because he got bored. But Alexander wasn’t him. Part of him wanted to know more about his time at MIT but he didn’t feel like dragging this on.

“Alright then. Question number two, would‒”

“Hey, wait, you didn’t answer,” Alexander prodded. Michael sighed.

“I didn’t realize I was answering.”

“Of course, that’s how this works.”

“Yeah, but I’m not the one who lied.”

“C’mon, Michael. You said you’d do this one thing with me,” he said. Michael clenched his jaw as he stared at the question. He knew what his answer was. He just didn’t want to fucking say it.

“I’ll answer this next one.”

“Michael, come on, you can’t blow off the first question, we’re being honest tonight,” Alexander said. Michael glared at the paper. “Mikey,” Alex sang.

“I would have dinner with Captian Alexander Manes, okay?!” he snapped, turning his glare to the man beside him, “Over anyone in the entire world, over even my fucking mother who I have never met, I would choose you. Because I want to know why the fuck you lied to my face for two years, fuck, Alexander, I want to know how. How can someone keep up a lie like that for two years?”

Alex’s eyes were wide and his eyebrows were raised as if he was shocked by the answer. Michael didn’t believe he was. There was no way.

“Okay. I deserve that. Question two, would‒”

“You’re not gonna answer?”

They stared at each other for a moment. Long enough that Michael softened because Alex was beautiful and had eyes that he couldn’t fucking say no to. Cheeks he couldn’t say no to. Lips he couldn’t say no to. Michael slumped his shoulders. This was actually unfair.

“We need booze,” Alex decided after a moment, “This is kinda like a first date, right? And, for a first date, there’s a severe lacking of alcohol. I think it would take the edge off and make it a little easier.” Michael nodded. It sounded like the best idea he’d heard all week. At least wine would loosen him up a bit, make him less terrified.

“I’m sure Isobel has something,” he said. Alex held up his finger.

“No need.”

Alex got up on his knees, twisting over the back of the couch to shuffle through his bag which gave Michael a perfect view of his ass. The sweats hung low on his hips and the shirt slid up as he bent over and it was just a lot for Michael to deal with. He knew this was probably self-destructive. Spending time with the man with whom he had a bad track record of keeping his hands to himself around, recreating their first date, and struggling to not picture him naked and moaning whenever he bent over the couch like that all seemed like a really big recipe for disaster. To top it all off, he was adding alcohol. What could possibly go wrong?

When Alex flopped back down, Michael had no control over the way he let his eyes trail up his body to his face. Alexander had the decency not to tease him about it. Michael was an emotional mess, he was bound to do something stupid like yell at him and then immediately want to sleep with him. He focused on the bottle of wine.

“I stopped on the way because I figured it might come in handy,” he said. The name was something French and fancy that he couldn’t pronounce and, knowing Alex’s taste in wine, it was probably easily $50. Alexander pulled out his keys and flipped open his corkscrew keychain.

They each took sips straight from the bottle.

Once Michael had loosened up a little bit, he allowed himself to face Alexander completely.

“Question two,” Alexander asked, “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

Michael opened his mouth to reply but was rudely interrupted by a loud crack of thunder that shook the house. He jumped like he always did when he heard a super loud noise and Alexander quickly moved to comfort him, placing his hand on top of Michael’s. He snatched it away.

Alex had been very aware of the abuse Michael suffered as a child. Loud noises were usually a warning before something much worse happened. That was just another reminder that Michael had given all his truths to a man who didn’t bother sharing his own.

“Yes. I want to publish a thesis on some invention I eventually come up with,” Michael said, shaking off the thoughts with a large gulp of wine, “You?”

“Nope, I like being no one.”

“Okay,” Michael said. It was the same answer as the first time. He didn’t know if that was comforting or not. “Before making a phone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?”

“No, if I rehearse and still mess up, then I feel like a  fuck-up, so it’s easier to not practice.”

“First time I said I did practice, but you said that and I tried it and I felt better, so no,” Michael answered. Alexander smiled with those stupid fucking lips.

“What would constitute a perfect day for you? Still a day with your family with no worries?” Alex asked and Michael nodded, unintentionally scooting closer as a loud clap of thunder shook the house again. “Mine is still that any day would be perfect as long as I was with you.”

Michael shook his head, letting it fall into his hand after propping his elbow up on the back of the couch. He remembered blushing like crazy the first time he heard that answer. It felt like a pickup line, but had seemed so sincere and had been staring at him like he was the world. “Even today? When I’m so fucking mad at you and that the only reason I’m doing this is so I can figure out why you lied to me before I never want to see you again? This is perfect?”

Alexander chewed on his bottom lip. “Maybe not the most perfect, but still perfect. You’re breathing and that feels like a good day.” Michael shook his head again.

“I don’t believe that, Alexander,” he said. Alexander groaned, leaning forward to put the wine bottle down before looking Michael in the eye.

“Why are you so deadset on the fact that Alex Whitman and Alexander Manes are so different? We’re not. Literally, every answer has been the same so far. I’m not lying or being cruel when I say that I was 100% real when I was with you. I’m still super fucking gay, I’m still really bad at spelling, I’m still really good at trivia, I still love to recite Greek literature to you when you’re not feeling well, I still love to record everything, I still get super dizzy when I drink tequila, I still sleep on the right side of the bed, I still think your cooking is better than anything in the world, and I still am a million things you know about me. You know me better than anyone and that is still true,” Alexander said. He seemed honest. It felt real. All those things seemed like impossible things to fake. Michael was just tipsy enough to nod his head in agreement. “Okay? Okay, next question.”

“When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?” Michael wondered, waiting for the answer. He was pretty sure he could guess it.

“I sang to myself on the way here and the last I sang to someone else was when you were too sick to follow The Odyssey or the Illiad,” Alex grinned. Michael smiled back. Knew it. “And you?”

“My first night here I got so drunk that I just laid on the floor and scream-sang REO Speedwagon,” he admitted and Alex easily slipped into a laugh that Michael could feel in his bones. God, that sound still felt like a gift.

“And to someone else?”

“Kyle came in to ask me to stop, so I tried to serenade him.” Alex laughed a little harder.

“You do have a killer Kevin Cronin voice,” he laughed, picking the wine bottle up again and taking a sip. He handed it to Michael who did the same. He could taste Alex on the bottle and it was hard to figure out which substance was more intoxicating. “Okay, okay, If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

“Mind,” Michael answered, “You said body last time.”

“And that’s still the same, so clearly we’re still a half sexy pair,” Alex teased and Michael couldn’t help but laugh. He blamed the wine.

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you’ll die?” Michael asked. He had half a bottle of wine in his system and Alexander felt a whole lot like Alex and Alex’s lips were looking absolutely inviting.

“I remember you saying you think your appendix would burst and you would just think you were exaggerating your pain and now that I’ve known you for two years and I’ve seen how much of a baby you get when you’re sick, I think that’s not gonna happen,” Alex chuckled, leaning forward even more. He was so fucking close. Michael nodded.

“I think it will,” he said, “You said you weren’t afraid of death.”

“Still not,” Alex hummed, tipping back the last of the bottle. He gave a sweet smile when he was done, flicking his tongue over the corner of his mouth. Maybe drinking was a bad idea. “Name three things you and your partner have in common. This is easy.”

Perfect, perfect. A perfect reminder that this isn’t Alex. Michael shook his head, fixing his wandering mind back on the anger he felt towards the man who had lied to him for two years. He faked a wedding license. “I don’t know anything about you.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “You know me better than anyone else, Michael.”

“I knew Alex. I have no idea who you are,” Michael insisted, though his voice wasn’t as certain as it was before. This felt like a night with Alex. God, it felt like Alex. He wanted Alex.

Alexander couldn’t be him.

“Fine, I’ll name some. I can do more than three. We both have an unhealthy obsession with Firefly and watch it on repeat, we both are obscenely stubborn and refuse to admit when we’re wrong, we both have horrific handwriting, we both feel the need to tip waiters like 50% even when service sucks, we both like the same music, we both like hot chocolate when it’s hot and ice cream when it’s cold, we have a lot in common, Michael. We’re perfect,” Alex said, grinning that easy grin.

Michael could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he stared at the man who was suddenly very close. It was hard. The lines between Alex Whitman and Captain Alexander Manes were blurring in a way he didn’t want them to. One was his fun-loving husband who found every excuse to dote on him and make him blush, and the other was a pathological liar who held a list of military credentials that matched a hardened old man.

“None of my traits as Alex change when I’m Alexander. I’m still me.”

Michael would never forget how confused he was when those two guys stood on his doorstep, asking for Captain Alexander Manes. They’d been searching for him for two years, that he’d gone AWOL from his post two days earlier than he was supposed to and that they had feared something bad had happened. Michael didn’t get a chance to get any more details about that, he just remembered his head spinning and feeling sick and confused at the name he was being told. He was about to tell them that he didn’t even know anyone in the military, but he’d turned to find Alex behind him and looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“You know what my favorite thing that we have in common is?” Alexander asked, closer than he should be, “That we both fight for the right things.”

Alex had tried to explain that day, begging him to listen as Michael packed a small back and tried to get the hell out. He couldn’t spend the night in bed with a stranger. It had been hellish. He’d turned a 7-hour car drive into 10 and Isobel and Kyle still had to go get him from the border of Colorado and New Mexico he couldn’t see straight enough to drive. He had thrown his phone out the window somewhere in the desert after that, tired of seeing call after call from ’Achilles♥’.

It was getting hard, though. He was trying to separate who he is to who he was, but it felt so impossible. They looked the same, they sounded the same. If he closed his eyes and let himself go, all he heard was Alex Whitman. He couldn’t figure out if he was in love with Alex Whitman or if he was actually in love with Captain Alexander Manes. What if the difference really only was their last name?

“For what in life are you most grateful?” Michael whispered, taking in his face. The little scar on his forehead that Alex had said came from crashing his bike when he was eight, was that the same story for Alexander?

“You.”

“I need more wine,” Michael said, scrambling to his feet before he did something stupid like kiss him. Alex nodded, holding out his phone. Michael suddenly remembered that he was being recorded and took it with hesitant hands before heading to go find Isobel’s wine.

Once he was out of earshot, he held the phone to his mouth.

“I will not sleep with him, I will not sleep with him, I will not. I will not. I will not,” he repeated, raking a tough hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and focused on that moment when Alex had admitted that wasn’t his name. That had hurt so bad. “You know, I don’t understand why I even let him in here. I know him. I know how stupidly charming he is and I know how well it works on me and he gives me those sweet little ‘fuck me’ eyes and I just want… I don’t know what I want. I want to clear my head.”

Michael searched through the cabinets and eventually found a cheap-ish already opened bottle of wine that he planned to reimburse the Evans-Valentis for. He pulled the cork out haphazardly and threw back some more. He didn’t know why he kept drinking. He knew it was probably going to make him want to sleep with Alexander even more.

Maybe that’s what he wanted to happen.

“No, no, I don’t want to sleep with him. I want this night to be over so I can move on. He’s a pathological liar. I can’t trust everything he says,” Michael said, sighing harshly.

Before he could think any harder, a harsh clap of thunder sounded, shaking the house and taking away the electricity. Panic surged through Michael like it always fucking did in these stupid situations and he froze, looking down at the phone and unlocking it to give him a little bit of light. It was on 46%. Somehow, that made him more panicky.

“Michael?” Alexander called, “Are you alright? I can’t come to you, I don’t have my crutches, just follow my voice!” He yelled because he knew Michael and knew he was probably feeling uneasy and that wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t he be different? This was too hard. “Follow my voice, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby, Alexander,” Michael grumbled as he used the phone to lead himself to the couch again. He sat far away from Alexander again, but that didn’t seem to bother him. Michael kept a hold on the phone and Alexander let him. He hated how thankful he felt for that. “Next question.”

“If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?” Alex asked, ignoring the fact that it was super dark. Michael cradled the wine bottle to his chest, finding Alex’s eyes the best he could.

“I could change the fact that I raised myself,” he admitted easily. It was a big one, but it’s what he said the first time. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been so stupid to trust the first super hot guy who was into him. Isobel had told him it was sketchy that Alex had no friends or family, but Alex had also just moved to Denver and it just felt right and Michael barely had any friends or family. He should’ve looked into it more. “What about you?”

Alexander didn’t answer.

“Alexander?” he asked. He didn’t feel the couch move, but he couldn’t really see him and the sudden silence was making him anxious. Then he heard him gulp, so he calmed down just a bit. “What would you change?”

“Everything.”

“Too vague.”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

“Is it? I don’t really know anything about your childhood at all. All I know is that your parents died when you were…” Michael trailed off once he realized that he didn’t know that. “Wait, are your parents even dead?”

Silence.

“Oh my God!” So much for letting himself think they might be the same.

“They’re basically dead, they haven’t spoken to me in‒”

“No, that’s not basically! You told me your parents were dead! That’s a huge thing to lie about!” Michael scoffed, sitting up straight, “The next thing you’re gonna tell me is that you didn’t actually lose a leg in a motorcycle accident.”

Silence. Again.

“Oh my God. Oh my God, what is wrong with you?” Michael said, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away. He didn’t want to be alone in the darkness, even if that meant he was alone with a cruel liar. “You can’t just not answer me this time, Alexander, this is, like, a serious issue. You lied about how you lost your leg and about your parents being dead.”

“Just let me think,” he answered, but Michael didn’t like that.

“No, so you can come up with another lie? Tell me the fucking truth.”

“When I was 8 years old, my mother left,” Alexander said, taking a slow breath, “And a few days after that, my father hit me for the first time because he realized I was gay. He knew before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. So that’s what I’d change. The fact that he beat me.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael sighed, “But that doesn’t explain why you lied about everything.” Michael had been abused his whole life too. He didn’t lie about it.

“I was taught from a young age that what I wanted was wrong, that who I was was wrong. So I spent my entire life trying to pretend. I did what my dad wanted and I lied to cover up the bruises for thirteen years of my life because it was easier than dealing with him.”

“Thirteen?” Michael parroted, “You said it started when you were eight, that would’ve made you twenty-one before… Oh.”

“Yeah,” Alexander sighed, “Oh is right. I joined the Air Force because he wanted me to, but I figured out that he wanted me to because he wanted to watch me. So, I made sure I went to school so I could become an officer. I eventually got put in a special task force and I got away from him, but he was still there, you know? Just in my head. He was always in my head. I was 26 before I had my first kiss because even though I was alone with six other people most of my time and three of them were openly queer, I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. Every time I considered it, I could feel my dad hurting me to stop. Even when he couldn’t be there, he was there through letters telling me to make sure I was being a Manes Man. Manes Men do this, Manes Men don’t do that. It was hell. He controlled me in every little facet well past my childhood, so I finally cut him out of my life when I was 27. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of being in the mold he forced me into.”

“I wish you would’ve told me about that,” Michael said, trying not to be too offended when Alex had just admitted to suffering to almost 20 years of constant abuse.

“I didn’t want to admit that I was 28 years old and just coming to terms with my sexuality.”

“But I told you about all the shit that happened to me,” Michael argued, “Why didn’t you trust me with your feelings?”

“That’s not why I didn’t tell you, Michael, I didn’t want to bring it up.”

“But you should’ve! For two years, I felt like the fucked up one in this relationship and that you had to cater to me! If you would’ve just told me that you fucking understood, then everything could be different!” Michael spat out, “You ruined everything! And I still feel like a dick for getting mad at you for not recounting abuse! How fucked is that?!”

“Michael, please,” Alexander tried. Michael huffed a huge breath and took another sip of wine. He needed to calm down. He really did. But who the fuck lies about all that?

“The next question is tell me your life story in four minutes. Take longer than four if you need to, I need more than that. I need the fucking truth,” Michael insisted. He heard Alexander gulp. “I’ll calm down when you fucking tell me.”

Then he waited.

“Okay, okay, so… Like I said, I was 8 when my mom left. My dad and my older brothers went out of their way to make sure I was just like them. We all had the same haircut, had the same clothes, everything. We were miniatures of my dad, which… really fucked me up. Even when I went to college to get some semblance of freedom, I didn’t know how to be someone other than my father. And that’s hard. It’s super hard to see someone as a monster, but then you can’t bring yourself to be anyone other than exactly like them. And then I was wearing his uniform and I would look in the mirror and it was a constant battle to figure out who I was. Was I Alex, or was I Master Sergeant Jesse Manes?

“I dealt with that for years. Every time I looked at a boy who was attractive, I would have to immediately shut myself down. I wouldn’t let myself and I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I convinced myself that I was straight, that I could be. But that didn’t work because I didn’t even want a girl to hold my hand without feeling awkward, so I just resigned myself to a life of celibacy. It was more than that, though, because I hated myself so much. I was hardly a person, I was just a carbon copy and I was suicidal as hell. But on some level, it must’ve been good for me because it made me ballsy.

“I didn’t allow myself pleasures or anything, so I became really good at combat and coding which you know. That’s how I even got in a special task force when I was that young. I did a year at MIT, wasn’t the biggest fan, and they put me in the task force. And, you know, like I said three of them were openly queer. It was so weird for me to be around people that were open and honest with themselves and, it took a while, but eventually, I started to see that maybe I could be too. I had my first kiss with Lieutenant Cameron Adler. He was, like, 6’7” and biceps bigger than my head, literally could’ve crushed me, but he didn’t. And when I freaked out because I liked the kiss, he was just there to help me through it. He was my first everything, my first love and all. I think that was the first time I thought I might be okay.

“Then, obviously, a few months later it went to shit. My team got bombed. No one fucking made it. Except for me, which is bullshit, right? I was so fucked in the head and had spent years of my life hating myself and who I was, and all these people who were happy and good died. I wasn’t conscious, but I was told that I was found with Cam’s body on top of me, like he was shielding me with his, like, 275lbs of muscle. They thought I was dead and, legally, I was for a few minutes, but they were able to bring me back and all I lost was a leg. I hated when they told me that. ‘Look, you made it and all you lost was your leg’ because that wasn’t all I lost. I literally lost the only family I’d ever known and now I was back under my father and I just kept sinking lower. I had so much therapy, physical and mental, and nothing really helped. Yeah, I could walk again, but my mental state was so fucked. I spent all day just thinking of ways to end my life and how I wish someone would do it for me or how I wish they just had found me later so that they wouldn’t have been able to bring me back. And I was going to do it too. I had it all planned out. I was going to take a bath and overdose and let myself just go away forever. That’s why I left my post. I had two days left before I was officially honorably discharged, but I just drove to Denver and got a hotel and planned to kill myself there.

“And then I met you.”

Michael looked at him with tears in his eyes. Fuck. “You can’t say that. You can’t say that like you’re only alive because of me. That’s basically a threat.”

“I’m not, I’m sorry,” Alexander sighed, “I’m not going to kill myself if you don’t take me back, it’s not like that. I just meant that you reminded me that I could be okay again. I’d had so many therapists insist that it gets better, but you were the first thing that showed me that, okay, maybe it does.”

“I didn’t do anything, I just bought you coffee,” Michael sniffled. He didn’t like thinking about his Alex being in that state. His Alex was always cheery and charming and beautiful.

“Yeah, I know. Look, I planned to off myself that night and I wanted to just get myself my favorite drink beforehand so at least I went out with something good. And then I forgot my wallet and that just felt like proof that I needed to end it. Like, of course, I wanted one last good thing and I managed to fuck that up.” Michael remembered the way Alex had been frantically searching for his wallet and was almost in tears when he couldn’t find it. That was the only reason he paid for him. He didn’t want to see someone cry. Then he'd gotten closer and realized the guy was hot as hell. "Then you paid for me and asked my name. I couldn't give a fake one because I already gave the barista my first name, but I could give you a fake last name so I did. I wanted one goddamn night where I wasn't a Manes Man. I didn't know that coffee would lead to talking for 6 hours straight and spending the night with you because it shouldn't have gone that way. We just fucking connected like something…"

"Cosmic?"

Alex let out a soft laugh. "Cosmic. And, by that point, it was too late to go back. So I just went with it."

"So you just let us go two years in a lie?"

Alexander moved closer, close enough that he could see his eyes. He felt more at peace than he had in awhile which really pissed off the logical section of his brain.

"I was more myself as Alex Whitman than I was ever as Alexander Manes because I was with you and you pushed me to be myself. I would give the world to you, but you already gave it to me first," Alex insisted.

Gravity did that fucky thing it did when Alex got too close and Michael tipped his head forward to meet Alex's. He wanted it to be real. He really did.

But he didn't trust him.

"You'd really give me anything?" Michael whispered. Alexander nodded.

"Anything. You're my life, Michael. If I could take back the lies, I would, but I wouldn't take back finally feeling free because of you," Alexander promised, slowly moving his hand up to cup his cheek. It was slow, it was on purpose. They met for a kiss in the middle.

Their first kiss as Michael Guerin and Alexander Manes.

Michael kept it short, though a kiss after two weeks without felt like remembering to breathe. Alex didn't push it.

"Then can you give me time?" Michael asked, "I need… I need space before I can even try to trust you again."

"Then I'll give it to you. All the time in the world if you need it," Alex said, sincerity in his voice in a way that felt strange. It felt good. "You know how to find me when… if you want to see me again.”

Michael waited with a bouncing knee as Alexander skillfully lifted himself to the chair he’d originally sat in, putting on his dry liner and sleeve before the prosthetic. Michael didn’t know how long he’d been here, but clearly, it’d been long enough for that to dry. So, at least three or four hours. God, why did time never make sense when Alex was around?

When he was done, he stood and pressed a kiss to the top of Michael’s head.

“I love you,” he said because they never parted ways without saying that, even if for a moment. You never know when would be the last time you’d see someone. The only time they hadn’t was when Michael had left him. “I promise that there won’t be any more secrets between us. Ever. I’ll tell you whatever whenever.”

Michael thought about asking if he wanted to stay until the rain stopped or until the lights came back on, but the words never made it to his mouth. He thought about saying he loved him back, but that didn’t feel right either. He did love him back, but he still wasn’t sure if he only loved Alex Whitman or if he loved them both. So Alexander left without any argument.

It was cold and lonely when he was gone and Michael curled up, his head thudding as he tried not to stress too much by the darkness. It was only then that he realized he still had Alex’s phone. He quickly raced to the door, ripping it open and silently hoping that he’d still be there.

“You forgot your‒” he yelled as soon as he opened, but the driveway was empty and the rain was still coming down hard. He hoped that Alexander would make it home okay.

Michael locked the door and went straight to the guest bedroom, locking the door to that as well as he curled up in bed. He always locked his bedroom door too, it made him feel safer. Alex had assured him that it wasn’t weird at all and had even picked up the habit himself. They’d both picked up habits from each other over time.

He ended the recording on the phone after getting under the covers, staring at it. The recording was five hours long and it sparked curiosity in him even if the phone was dwindling dangerously close to 20%. He started it from the beginning.

“Okay, so I’m on the interstate right now because apparently, that’s a good idea. I was getting too antsy at home, everything still smells and looks like Michael just felt for a couple hours and that’s just too much, so left. I don’t really know where I’m going. I mean, where should I go? It’s been two weeks since my husband left me because he found out I was a big fat liar, there’s not really a fun place for people like that except for hell, right? But I’m not going to hell, I still have some life left in me and I’m working on figuring out where exactly to target that life.”

Alex’s voice rambled on and eventually, as usual, he started reciting Homer because he just did that when he couldn’t think. Michael had thought it was cute if not a little weird at first, but it had quickly become something that was comforting and hearing it, even through a recording, seemed to calm him.

“Patroclus’ death is what pushed Achilles to fight, you know? It gave him a reason. I keep thinking about Michael. I always think about Michael. Finding out I was… finding out I wasn’t exactly who he thought must’ve felt like a death. But it was Alex Whitman’s death, so my burden to bear and Michael was the victim. I’m the one who has to avenge, who has to fight. I need to find him.”

Michael dozed off the sound of him rambling his affections.

The next morning, Michael didn’t even get out of bed. The first thing he did was hook up Alex’s phone to a charger and started to look for older recordings. He had a Google Drive that seemed to hold all of them, each and every recording he’d ever made labeled with the date and it went all the way back to the day they met. Michael clicked on that one, the very first.

”I don’t know what I’m doing,” Alex’s voice was quicker than normal, anxiety clear in his tone even despite the fact he could hear the smile, “I mean, I really don’t and I don’t have anyone to talk to and it’d be pathetic to talk to myself, so I’m going to record it to make sure it’s not a fucking dream. I woke up this morning thinking that would be the last time I ever woke up and now I’m literally driving to some guy’s house to have sex. Me! Hooking up with some random guy! I don’t know what I’m even doing. He just came up to me and bought me coffee and we sat in that damn Starbucks until it closed and I’m so sure those baristas hate us, but I didn’t want it to end and I don’t think he did either because he asked me over and I’m doing it. I don’t know what happened, he just asked to sit and have his coffee with me and I had a moment where I was like ‘okay, my last memory could be either this coffee or this coffee and this cute guy and I haven’t even talked to a guy since Cam and that’s been over a year now. God, I’m so anxious, what if I’m shit in bed?

“I did do something stupid though. I gave him a fake name, but it felt good. I think that was the first time in my life that I’ve introduced myself and I haven’t been saluted or assumptions hadn’t immediately been made about me. This guy‒Michael, his name’s Michael‒looked at me like I was just Alex. I’m not a Manes Man. That’s never happened before. I like it. I can pass for an Alex Whitman, right?”

Michael would’ve scolded himself for smiling at the memories it brought back, but he was too sleep-heavy to care. He remembered that night really well. He’d been jittery with nerves too and had hoped his house wasn’t too messy when he let Alex inside. It had been his first few months as a professor at CU Denver and his house was a fucking wreck, but Alex didn’t seem to care. They sat on the floor of the living room, sipping on wine and talking for way too long. That’s when the 36 questions had come up and Michael had jokingly suggested they go through them. Alex went along and they had gotten through them without touch each other too much until question 36 required them to ask advice on any problem. Alex’s drunken problem was that he really wanted to sleep with this guy he just met but didn’t know how to approach it without seeming either really creepy or overwhelming. Michael had all but pinned him to the floor and stripped him bare. It was too good for a first night together. They fit and moved too well.

It was unheard of.

Michael scrolled down, trying to see any other date that stood out to him. He landed on the one that was from their wedding day, six months before their disaster ending, and pressed it without too much hesitation. He wanted to know.

”I keep looking at him and he looks so happy and I feel like an asshole. He deserves the world and the truth with it, and I can’t bring myself to tell him. I want to marry him today, even if we are just eloping in Vegas with a guy dressed as the priest from the Princess Bride performing the ceremony. I want to marry him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. He is the love of my life, I’ve never been more sure. God… I love him.” Alex laughed and it felt like the world got a bit brighter. “I want to scream it from the rooftops that I love him just so maybe it’ll stop feeling so overwhelming.”

He did scream it from the rooftop of their hotel. Michael remembered feeling higher than life.

“I need to tell him the truth. He needs to know who he’s marrying. I’m going to do it.”

Michael didn’t have to listen to more to know that he absolutely didn’t do it. Though, he did want to know why. The issue was that it wasn’t ever answered. It was probably fear. Fear that that overwhelming love would end. And somehow it really fucking didn’t end.

He still loved him. Alex, Alexander, whoever.

Michael went to the first one again. He didn’t really know why he did it, but starting that day he began listening to all the details that Captain Alexander Manes had recorded over the years. It was really him, the recordings being something so raw that he didn’t need to lie to. He heard the two of them giggling and kissing and being ridiculously in love for two years. He heard it all over the course of 60 hours of audio.

For the next six months straight, that’s all Michael did. He just listened to Alex over and over and over until he could recite the recordings as well as Alex could recite The Odyssey. He could laugh with them, smile with them, love them. He was falling in love all over again with the man in the recordings. He loved hearing his excitement, his love, his laugh, his rambles. He hated hearing him crying on bad days or just feeling defeated and forcing himself to push through. He listened to recordings of therapy sessions he didn’t know Alex attended, hearing him talk through his still lingering depression and PTSD. Michael had known that Alex had some problems, even if they were only shown in the dead of night when he woke up screaming, but he’d never known how bad until he listened.

And he listened and listened and listened and listened.

“I can’t believe you’re still listening to him,” Isobel said one morning, shaking her head as Michael smiled into his cup of coffee. He always smiled at this one. It was just a random April morning, but Alex had recorded himself waking Michael up to breakfast in bed and he could hear the sheets rustle and the smack of kisses that he could still feel on his chest. It made his stomach knot up.

“Why?”

“He lied to you about who he was, Michael, and you’re just letting him manipulate you from afar all over again,” she sighed. He knew she meant well and she’d had a controlling boyfriend in the past that colored her opinion on Alex’s choices. The problem was that, aside from a few sketchy things about Alex, she’d liked him. They were a lot alike and Michael loved it. “It’s been six months, it’s time to move on.”

He thought about that for a moment. It was time to move on. He was sleeping in his sister’s guest bedroom and he was doing the same thing day in and day out. He needed to do something different. Even if it wasn’t exactly what she meant.

“Yeah,” he nodded, placing the mug down. It had been six months. Six months that he spent every day listening to Alex talking and learning about him and memorizing all the aspects of Captain Alexander Manes that he didn’t know before. Every little detail.

He wanted more.

Michael went back into the guest room and pulled out his laptop. He went to his E-Mail and opened a blank new message. He pulled Alex’s E-Mail into the To bar. He put 25 Questions To Fall Back In Love With You. Everything else came easy.

’I’ve been listening to every single recording over the last few months and I’ve been getting to know Alex Manes better and better and I’m at a point where I’m eager to know more. I want to trust him. I want to trust you because I love you.

But we’re still strangers, right? Technically, I mean. And we still have 25 questions left so here’s all my answers. If you love me still, give me your answers. Truthfully. As truthful as you can.’

He answered all his questions within the next half hour and sent it without reading over it. If he proofread it then he would risk second guessing sending it in the first place. He didn’t want that. He just wanted to see Alex again and see if it felt the same. They were cosmic before, they had to be cosmic again.

Alex answered by the end of the night.

‘Not gonna lie, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw this in my inbox. I miss you. Here’s my answers.’

Michael poured over them instead of sleeping that night. Most of them were the same and expected, but a few changed. The ones that changed had Michael feeling even more eager to go home. They matched the man in the recordings.

His greatest accomplishment was hacking into Russian intelligence while getting a blowjob. His most treasured memory was their wedding day. He shared that, if they were going to continue, it was important that Michael knew that he was stubborn and would fight to the death if he knew he had the chance to keep him(the first time it’d been that he’d lost his leg). Question 36, the infamous ‘problem in need of advice’, was now a lot less dirty.

’The man I’m in love with seems to be eager to try to save our fucked marriage. I’m super excited, but we have a lot of hours between us. What do you think I should do? Should I go to him or let him come to me or should we talk via E-Mail until we’re ready to see each other face to face again?’

Michael was feeling not too unlike he’d felt when Alex had shouted his love from the rooftops or when Alex had cradled him and recited The Odyssey like it was a fairytale. It made him feel like he was melting and Alex was the mold. This shouldn’t be a thing. He shouldn’t be this happy over an E-Mail from someone who’d lied.

But he was. And he was willing to try again and fight for what felt like the right thing because that’s what Achilles did for Patroclus.

’I’ll be home by tomorrow night. I call the bed.’

[foggedgrief]

okay, hello, this is going to be a part one to a series of introductions ! i have already hit my five character cap because i’m a menace but that means you get more content and honestly that feels like a fair trade off. without my rambling, i give you nicky ( click here to find some quick facts about my boy ) and emi ( click here to find some quick facts about my girl ) ! wanted connections can be found here.

be warned ! before you click that handy dandy little read more, the following triggers will be discussed : death ( multiple deaths due to the fog, not explicit : both nicky and emi ), grief ( parent losing a child : emi ), religion ( turning away from : emi ) !

losing  friends  and  family  to  the  fog  and  blaming  yourself  for  not  being  more  vigilant,  taking  guardianship  of  your  little  sister  and  getting  a  second  job  to  make  sure  ends  meet,  trying  your  hardest  and  kicking  yourself  for  not  doing  better,  bloodied  knuckles  aggravated  by  vodka  to  clean  them  and  wrapped  so  tightly  you  fear  your  fingers  might  turn  blue,  anger  replaced  by  grief  replaced  by  the  understanding  she  needs  you  and  you  will  tear  down  the  rest  of  the  world  to  keep  her  safe.

nicholas adam locklear was born in inverness, scotland, and still has a scottish accent even though he’s been in the country for twenty years. 

nicky and his family moved to maine a few months before his seventh birthday. they moved to maine because his mother, a once american ex pat, had a father who wanted his kids to be closer because they all seemed to have scattered to the wind. he walked into the fog a week after the locklears had unpacked their home. 

the fog has always been a thing of morbid fascination from nicky and after grandpa took his walk into the woods, nicky was kept particularly far away from the forest line, fog warnings or not. on all saint’s day, the day after he turned eight, nicky found himself in the fog. and then he found himself in his bed with no explanation for either event. 

he started drawing that day, intricate sigils that gave themselves meaning but no voice, so he spoke them into existence: protection from sorcery, protection from evil, wards off negative energies, heal the body and the spirit. four symbols that he couldn’t stop drawing on everything he owned. homework, notebooks, on the walls of his home in crayon ( if you look in those spots today, in the locklear family home, they’re painted now. a whole interior room covered in the sigils intended to look like an artsy photo collage wall. ).

some in town say that the locklears are cursed, that their family bears bad blood, that they owed some kind of karmic debt too large for one life. whatever the rumor, they all boil down to one thing: too many locklears have gone missing in the fog. nicky’s paid little mind to them, though there’s a voice too strange to be his but too familiar to dismiss that encourages him to go in ( to go back ). 

nicky’s life revolves around his little sister, belle, who was born when he was twenty. a few months later, their mother went into the fog and their father went about an hour later to try and look for her. neither came home. though the courts tried to pass belle off to the next living relative, nicky petitioned for rights to guardianship because he lived in the home and could find a way to make ends meet for him to be belle’s caretaker. enter the diner and blue valley.

nicky’s always been a hard worker, never one to take a short cut and never one to take the easy way out. his focus has always been to take care of belle above board, so no one could have a reason to take away the last of his family. that little babe was his world and is nicky’s driving force in most things. he started working at the bar first and took on a job at the diner when he realized that tips got slow after a certain hour and what better way than to make more money by helping to sober up the people you just got drunk ?

when customers offer to buy nicky drinks, he usually puts together a couple of complimentary mixers ( cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and orange juice ) and pours in water from an old tito’s bottle to make it look like he’s adding tequila. he’ll pocket the cost of a drink as an extra tip. he never drinks on the job. 

his jobs aren’t glamorous but they keep the roof over his head and belle’s. he works 14 hour days ( 9 pm to 11 am ; 9 pm - 3 am at blue valley and 3:10 to 11 am at the diner ), 6 days a week ( sundays off ), 84 hours a week and he’s damn good at what he does, and seldom calls out for anything. nicky’s the kind of guy to pound three monsters and call it a day just to keep himself going. he’s used to running on little sleep because of his paternal role with belle and wanting to keep as engaged with her as possible. he usually leaves her with the finnegans so he doesn’t have to pay any babysitting money.

the one time nicky tried, dottie looked at the bills in his hand and just hugged him tightly and said, “no child of mine is going to pay me to watch theirs.” nicky cried that day and spent ten minutes crying into her shoulder and then slept on her couch for a few hours while belle played with the finnegan twins. 

nicky is a good person and he’s a really good dad. at 22 he became licensed in the state of maine to be able to foster and has fostered ten kids in the last five years. right now it’s just him and belle in the house that his parents bought that he keeps up as best as he can. the guest bathroom needed a remodel three years ago and the kitchen appliances only work when you knock on them the right way and if the wind’s blowing in the right direction, but some things are just the way that it is. 

other important things that i couldn’t work in above but you should know: 

nicky gives like ,,, just really comforting hugs that suggest a level of emotional intimacy that is likely to catch you pleasantly off guard. 

will help you buy your groceries because he has a better chance of making fifty dollars tonight than you do. 

usually sleeps on disney princess sheets because belle insisted they would look best in his room ( she was right ). his other sheets are bubblegum pink and he bought them for himself because that’s the vibe he was feeling and sometimes you just have to do what will put a smile on your face. 

his little sister is seven but nicky is the only parent she’s ever known and she usually calls him dad over nicky even though she knows the difference. 

nicky calls her his kid a lot. everyone in town pretty much knows the story. 

steady  hands  and  steady  heart  are  starting  to  shake,  pleading  with  officers  don’t  let  me  bury  an  empty  casket,  the  table  set  for  three  but  you  can’t  bring  yourself  to  put  the  plate  away,  pale  yellow  front  door  once  made  your  laugh  now  just  makes  you  sad  because  your  daughter’s  sunshine  still  lingers,  and  there’s  no  place  to  put  your  faith,  nothing  so  powerful  would  take  away  a  little  girl.

emi is considerably less fleshed out than nicky but we’re still going to do our best to give her a fair shake at an intro, so here goes ! 

noemi was born noemi sofia ibarra in pine haven, maine. though she’s always considered pine haven her home, she’s always desired that her upbringing was somewhere warmer. 

she’s a third generation doctor at the clinic, following in the footsteps of her grandfather and mother and knew from a young age that she wanted to help people. she bounced from pine haven for a while ( from ages 18 to 28 ) and followed her dreams to go somewhere warmer and graduated from emory university’s medical school in atlanta. 

she pushed through medical school immediately after graduating with her undergrad and returned to pine haven as a permanent resident when she was 29. having been home, officially, for ten years, she has found herself in the center of the community. more often than not, residents of town know they can call emi and come sit on her kitchen table if they need urgent care. 

life outside of pine haven’t wasn’t all medical school, though, because she also met her the father of her daughters. at 23 emi gave birth to her elder daughter, evangeline. that sweet little girl meant the world to her and emi spent double the amount of time awake those first semesters trying to get used to having a baby and school to balance. she was the center of emi’s universe, this baby and her father. 

emi’s second daughter, catalina, was born about eight years ago and is as much emi’s pride and joy as her older sister. the pair never fail to blow emi away in their creativity, kindness, and love, and she has made that known to them from the time they could open their eyes. though these times were sweet it’s time to fast forward to the current day because this is where emi shifts for the worse for as much as she doesn’t want to. 

two weeks ago, during the fog warning, evangeline wasn’t home with the family. emi was at work, locked down with a few patients, and when she didn’t get a phone call from her daughter, like she asks of all her family, she started to worry. panic didn’t settle in until after the fog warning and no one had heard from evangeline. frantic, begging, trying to stave off the final moments before the inevitable declaration, emi found herself begging the officers at the station: find me something to bury before absolutely crumbling against the weight of her own fears.

prior to her daughter’s disappearance, emi had put at least some stock into god but spite consumes her whenever she thinks about him. something all loving doesn’t steal child from the arms of their mother’s and something all powerful doesn’t let whatever lives in the forest to exist after taking the first soul. this town suffers because of that fog and venom pools in her mouth waiting to spit at the first person who proclaims that god will watch over her daughter. some people turn to faith for stability. emi has turned away. 

[wild-aloof-rebel]

y’all asked for a recap of the austin up close and personal shows, so i’m gonna do my best to give that to you. it was pretty similar to the other shows (which already are similar to things you can find in other interviews) so there isn’t a ton of new info here, but here it is anyway. under a cut because it’s gonna be long (and my immense apologies to people on mobile for whom we all know this won’t actually include a cut):

the show begins with the recap clip package from before s5 aired. i was a little sad to see they hadn’t updated it to include any new stuff, but it’s understandable i guess. even though i’d seen it before, did i start crying as soon as it started playing anyway? absolutely. was it amazing to be in a room full of people cheering for david and patrick’s first kiss? fuck yes.

dan and eugene come out on stage first for some father and son shenanigans. eugene jokes that dan is a big longhorns fan, to which dan replies that he doesn’t know what that is. they laugh at both shows about various sections of empty seats, even though the theater is supposed to be sold out. eugene jokes that he came up with the idea for the show while dan makes Dan Faces at him. dan says that they’ve been drinking frosé at the hotel all afternoon. eugene talks briefly about how proud he is of dan, and during one of the two shows you can basically see dan trying to shrink back into his leather jacket and hide--it’s so fucking cute how badly he takes compliments. (also, inserted side note that dan looks incredible, as usual, and i have to commend his commitment to his aesthetic for wearing a leather jacket in 80+ degree weather). and then they introduce the cast--noah, emily, annie, and finally catherine, who for good and obvious reasons gets a standing ovation at both shows.

the discussion starts with eugene and catherine talking about filming waiting for guffman because it was filmed in lockhart, texas, which is part of the austin metro area. they talk about eating a lot of barbecue during filming, and catherine says that that restaurant had a huge mural of like, bloody butchers on the wall, which was of course horribly unappetizing. from there they move into talking about all the couples they’ve played. dan asks if they have a favorite aside from johnny and moira, and they both agree it’s gerry and cookie from best in show. during one show, eugene tells the story of how he and christopher guest came up with the two left feet gag, and catherine jokes that moira’s backstory is similar to cookie’s, in that she has a trail of ex-lovers who consider their time with her to be the best sex of their lives. then they sing “god loves a terrier”

next they move into audition stories from annie, emily, and noah. annie talks about the bad spot she was in before the audition (during which emily cracked up, as is tradition for telling this story)--house burned down, $500 in the bank, blown her first screen test, and considering changing careers--how she read and tested for both alexis and stevie, and how it took 2 1/2 weeks for dan to call her back after her screen test, during which time she of course came to the conclusion she didn’t get either part. and dan when he called, of course was... well, dan, and left her hanging for as long as possible before asking finally asking if she wanted to play his sister. (he defends himself by saying punk’d was popular at the time, and he thought it would be funny.) emily talks about her similarly bad spot before her audition--divorce, no jobs, $800 in the bank--and the rumor that she took her top off during it. dan jumps in to clarify that in reality, she had a great audition and instead of saying thanks and leaving the room at the end, she sat down on the sofa, pulled the collar of her sweatshirt up over her head, and began rocking back and forth saying “that was awful, that was so bad, oh god...” dan also points out that her taking her top off would have done absolutely nothing for him, lmao, which then leads to noah joking that the first thing he did in his audition was take his top off. (I LOVE THEM) dan says noah was “underprepared” for his audition, to which noah argues that he prepared a lot--learned his lines, thought a lot about the character, etc.--but he didn’t watch any of the show, for which dan apparently still holds a grudge against him. he says dan also gives him shit for not having seen paddington 2, and dan reveals the ultimate travesty that noah has also not seen pretty woman.

for the next segment, each actor talks about their character. eugene talks about playing the straight man for once and how that differs from all the other roles he’s played. emily, during the second show, feels the need to clarify what he means by “straight man” since there are other connotations to that phrase, lol. 

there’s a brief moira clip package, and catherine talks about the origins of moira’s voice/pronunciation/vocabulary, dropping into the voice to refer to it as “mementos of her world travels” that she “bestows as a gift on the less travelled and less educated [which has about sixteen syllables in it]” as “an amuse bouche of what it’s like to walk in her givenchy shoes.” she also jokes during the second show that it’s a good thing dan didn’t make her audition to play moira because if she had come in with that voice/inflection, they would have thought she was having a stroke. dan asks her if she has a favorite wig--she doesn’t because it would be like asking her to choose her favorite “bébé”--but she does talk about how much fun it is to wear them in ways they weren’t intended, including as a hat, a look she refers to as her “director’s beret.”

annie talks about the influences of the kardashians, lindsay lohan, and the olsen twins on alexis’s speech and mannerisms. she talks about her vocal fry and how it’s essentially such a “lazy fucking way” of talking, as well as the origin of the alexis hands and how it came from the way they all hold their handbags. (her thought process: what if there was no handbag? and what if i turned my hand over? and what if i added another hand?) she also mentions that someone recently contacted her on instagram very concerned for her health because apparently her wrists being like that could be a symptom of some terrible disease. (she clarified that she doesn’t have any of the other symptoms lol). dan says it looks more like she was in a horrific accident, broke both wrists, and just decided not to get them fixed. annie insists that it’s actually very relaxing and that we should all try it before we fall asleep at night, lol. then there’s a whole conversation about the popularity of “ew david” and all the places it’s popped up--lapel pins, doormats, needlepoint, license plates--and annie says someone pointed out on twitter recently that she only actually says it twice in the show. [that’s actually wrong, she says it three times plus an “ew, no, david,” but the point still stands that she says it far less than people think she does.] dan jokes about how he didn’t realize when they wrote that line that people would someday be yelling “ew” at him when he walks by on the street.

emily talks about her similarities to stevie, starting with how they dress, and how much she loves just getting to sit behind the desk playing sudoku and solitaire all day. she says sometimes directors will be like, what if stevie was dusting in this scene? “why?!” maybe she wants to make coffee. “not that coffee!” and so emily stays happy and comfy behind the desk all the time, calling it the best job she’s ever had, and eugene confirms that hanging out behind the desk is indeed pretty nice.

dan asks noah about what it’s like to play basically the only sane person on the show. he talks about how interacting with the roses is a bit like watching a tv show or a family of aliens--it’s entertaining and you’re always waiting for what reference is gonna pop up next to what celebrity they did what with. he says that the day david walked into ray’s, for patrick it was like “discovering a unicorn.” he also mentions that one of his all-time favorite lines from the show is “it’s a general store, but it’s also a very specific store.”

they cover some fan creations, including the taxidermied rats that dan talked about on james corden, a couple of dogs dressed up like the roses, a planter with eugene’s face drawn on it, a little crocheted david and patrick, and a romance novel cover-style manip of david and stevie “behind the scenes” of the turkey shoot.

they talk a bit about cabaret, which is the only part of s5 that really gets discussed anywhere. noah and emily talk about how difficult the dancing was for the “money” scene (dan jokes that it was particularly difficult for emily since it didn’t consist of sitting behind a desk), how they both watched the video of the professionals doing it and thought it looked easy but that it was not. they talk about dan sending them for vitamin drips, and noah demonstrates a bit of the dance that they had particular trouble getting and that led to the choreographer trying to get emily even to just walk rather than doing the move and she still struggled. (here’s a brief video of that bit.) annie also joins in the discussion to talk about “willkommen” and how the choreographer was always so upset that they weren’t nailing the moves the way he wanted them to (her kick toward the end of the routine gets a special mention there), and they would just use the excuse of “well my character wouldn’t be a great dancer” to cover up for the fact that they couldn’t really do it lol. dan laughs about the fact that he wrote himself out of alla that mess.

dan asks noah to talk about his version of “the best.” noah says he knew how much the song meant to dan (they joke in one show about how dan is the kind of person who would hear the original in a club somewhere and beg everyone around him like “okay, but actually listen to the lyrics...”) and how difficult it was to figure out how to take something that’s so poppy and far from his usual style and transform it into something that would work for him. he talks about how dan finally texted him to ask if he could hear it, and he played it in his bedroom 17 or 18 times before finally sending dan one run of it and then didn’t hear anything back for like 4 hours. he jokes that at that point he basically is assuming he’s been fired. and dan jumps in to say that in reality he’d just been sobbing alone in the dark after listening to it and that you shouldn’t just spring that song on someone when they’re sitting at home alone marathoning downton abbey. noah says that what he thinks makes the scene particularly great on the show, however, is dan’s performance as david reacting to the song. dan then talks about the moment when moira reaches out to touch david’s arm and how that wasn’t scripted but was such a beautiful and important moment of support from a parent for their queer child. eugene then jokes that the scene would have been even more poignant if johnny had been included in it, and they argue over why he couldn’t have been there (he was back at the motel with stevie. eugene: “he could have slipped out for ten minutes.”)

dan asks everyone about their most memorable day on set. emily (along with contributions from noah and annie) talks in both shows about filming the cabaret scenes and how it was so great because it was the last day of shooting for s5 and they were in an actual theater with a whole audience to watch them and so it felt like a real, actual theater performance. they were rehearsing it up until the last possible minute, and they only got three takes at it.

in both shows, they talk about the junebugs from the filming of “surprise party” and dan a) not initially knowing what a junebug actually was and b) having a fear of flying bugs. (per dan, “so does nicole kidman. sue us both.”) they talk about all the takes that were ruined because there were so many flying around and how eventually one flew down dan’s shirt and he freaked out, which leads to eugene doing a reenactment of dan freaking out, complete with “fuck this fucking shit!” (the actual version of which you can of course watch in the s1 bloopers) eugene says he wanted to get t-shirts made that said fuck this fucking shit.

in the first show, eugene brings up the golf scene with johnny and roland and talks about the director yelling at them because they couldn’t stop laughing, take after take (which you can watch in the s3 bloopers). he jokes about how it ultimately didn’t even matter because “it’s my show.”

in the second show, catherine brings up the scene of moira and david trying to sell the allez vous products to everyone and how she couldn’t stop laughing because dan looked “insane” with all his tanner and his [intentionally] bad acting (again, s1 bloopers are your friend).

after all that, they play the multi-season blooper reel (which is great because i do always enjoy watching dan say “i never said i was bright, guys, just really fucking pretty” lmao). during both shows, annie and emily sit on the floor to watch it, which is super cute.

then there’s the audience vs cast trivia game. annie picks five audience members to come on stage and compete against the cast. i don’t remember all the questions dan asked, but between the two shows there was at least what’s alexis’s middle name? what does alexis call the mennonites who they get the peanut butter things from on the way to heather’s farm? what was the gift that patrick gave david on their first date? who was the person moira decided to perform a show about for asbestos fest (and a bonus point for the actual name of the show)? what does twyla put in glasses of champagne? what was moira’s character’s name on sunrise bay? and my personal favorite since i got the acknowledgement from dan for knowing the answer, what was the name of alexis and david’s nanny when they were kids? emily hands out t-shirts to the five audience members who played, and the prize for the audience “winning” is of course noah playing “simply the best” and he jokes beforehand that he’s been working on an acoustic arrangement of “a little bit alexis,” which noah, please, actually do the thing. (here’s a tiny video of him performing.)

the show ends with just a few quick words of thanks from dan. in the first show, he mentions that they’re filming the “sixth and final season,” which uhhhhhhhh does not get the warmest of reactions, which is probably why he doesn’t really mention it in the second show.

aside from the discussion of cabaret, there was very little discussion of s5. i think they’re basically still running the script from the shows they were doing at the start of the season, so i guess that makes sense, but it would have been nice to see a little more talk about it. in one of the shows, dan does briefly bring up annie having done both the song and the choreography for “a little bit alexis” herself, and he says they have more footage of her dancing and that maybe they might release some of it as a treat. and then he kind of realizes what he said and goes, “well i guess now that i said it we actually are gonna have to do it...” so maybe we have that to look forward to?

also since there was no discussion of the engagement in the first show, i submitted a few questions for the second show to try to get them to talk about it (some questions more direct than others), and dan did somehow manage to pick one of mine to read, which was asking noah what it was like having dan carry him up a mountain repeatedly. (i know we’ve heard him talk about it already in some of the bts videos, but like i said, some questions were more direct than others, and that was my indirect way of being like, binch let’s talk about what happened on that mountain lolol.) i actually missed the first several seconds of noah’s response because i was too busy dying about dan reading my question (if someone else who was there wants to fill me in, please do, lmao), but i think he made a joke about dan actually carrying him allllll the way up the mountain, and then more seriously he did specifically say that it was impressive for dan to do it take after take because “i’m not a light man.” he also talked about how they got up there and started filming them looking out at the scenery, and that turkey vulture just swooped so nicely right into the shot and circled back out again and how auspicious that seemed. (there you go, @jcams88, confirmation just for you, straight from noah’s mouth, that that they did not edit in the turkey vulture flying around back there.) unfortunately there was no further discussion of the proposal from there, but hey it’s at least a bit more s5 talk than we would have had if i hadn’t asked lol. all the thanks to dan for picking my question and at least giving us this much.

one other random thing that happens throughout the show and made me laugh a lot is that when annie or noah talks about something dan has said to them, they say it in their best impersonation of dan’s voice, and after they’re done, dan’s immediate response is, “okay, first of all, i don’t sound like that,” in the exact same tone of voice they were impersonating. as a running gag, it was solidly funny every single time. i love them all SO much.

[cloudbeom]

Reactions to you getting a call about your parent/s death

warnings: parent/s death

Genre: Angst; fluff

Summary : A call can ruin a good day

A/n: I was supposed to post this yesterday but my stupid ass forgot a member smh I hate myself. I want to try to post regularly but all writers know that’s just say, but I really wanna try my hardest this time! Anyways, feel free to request and enjoy!

Kim Seokjin

"Jagi, your phone is buzzing" Jin said, not turning around from his work when he heard your phone vibrate next to him, and you took it, lightly kissing his forehead as you tried to balance the phone on your shoulder as you wiped a plate.

"Hey (sister name)" You said cheerfully, expecting her to call for details on the movie night you had talked about before, but suddenly, her next words proved it was not what you expected

"(Y/n), Mom.. s-she's.. she's gone.." (Sister name) sobbed through the speaker, and suddenly, you felt numb, the plate slipping out of your hands, as you fell to your knees, the phone falling from your shoulder.

As soon as he heard the plate shatter, Jin stood from his seat and turned to look at you, only to see you ready to collapse any soon, and he ran to you, grabbing the small of your waist so you could support yourself on the counter, so the glass won't hurt you

"Jagi?" Jin whispered when your breathing evened a little, his hands rubbing small circles on your back "What happened?" "Mom.." You chocked on a sob, and suddenly, Jin pulled you into his chest, just in time for you to break down. "She's gone Jin.."

Jin stayed silent and let you cry, calmly stroking your hair and kissing your forehead. Knowing words can’t take away the pain

Min Yoongi

Yoongi had been in his studio working on some new songs for their comeback, when he suddenly heard his phone vibrate.

Usually he'd put it on silent, but guessed he forgot as he picked up the mere distraction to decline the call, but when he saw your name, he considered to answer it, just because he knew you never called if it wasn't an emergency.

In the end, he did accept the call, and the first thing he heard was the sound of your breath hitching.

"Yoongi.."

"(Y/n)?" Yoongi asked, immediately jumping to his feet in alarm "What happened baby? Are you okay?" "Mom and dad… The-they got into an accident.. I-I'm on the way to the hospital with (sister's name) right now"

Yoongi took a deep breath, knowing your in a lot of pain right now, your sister probably forced you to call him and if it weren’t for her, you would have been in the house bawling your eyes out right now, so the first thing he did was storm out of his studio, then the apartment.

"Wait for me, (Y/n)"

Jung Hoseok

"That was amazing Hobi" You clapped and then stood to kiss him as he panted, smiling at your support. "You did amazing! Just like always" You said, handing him a bottle of water, just then did your phone rang.

"Oh?" You looked at the caller, and saw it was your brother "Gimme a sec, I need to take this." You said before kissing him once more on the cheek, and he smiled in response as you walked outside to answer the call, gulping down his drink while walking to Jeongguk to compliment his precision, and it ended up with a circle of compliments between him, Jeongguk and Jimin.

They laughed it off and was about to turn the music back on to practice one more time, when suddenly Jin went inside the room only to peek a little, and looked at Hoseok

"Why is (Y/n) crying in the hallway?" He asked, the tone in his voice filled with concern.

Alarm bells went off and Hoseok ran out, hoping you weren’t far away.

When he saw you in the halls, your forehead pressed against the wall and tears silently flowing out of your eyes, he swore your heart broke.

"Oh (Y/n)" he said, coming up to hug you tightly, his arms going around your fragile body and pulling you against him, letting you cry into his chest. "What happened?"

"Dad, he-he was involved in an accident.." You sobbed, and Hoseok could only kiss your forehead, not knowing how to make you feel better, but knowing he should be there for you.

Kim Namjoon

"Namjoonnn~" You sang as you spun in one of his chairs as he worked in his studio, he chuckled but did not turn around, used to your weird and random personality. He tapped his chin with his pen, trying to come up with some lyrics to his new song he wanted to make, and as he was doing so, he heard a knock on his door.

"Hyung? Can you help me for a second?" Jimin had came in to ask the leader, and without hesitation, Namjoon stood up, taking his headphones off

"Sure, I'll be right back" He said, passing you and kissing your forehead softly before going out.

You just stayed on the chair, spinning until you got dizzy. You stood up, wanting to see what your boyfriend had written for his rap, and suddenly your phone rang.

"Hello~?" You sang into the receiver, knowing it was your older brother and thinking it was a hangout call or something.

"(Y/n), you need to come to the hospital" he said, his tone more serious than yours, and your face dropped immediately.

"What- why?"  You asked, biting your nail, a habit you did when you got nervous "(brother's name), what's wrong?"

"It- it's mom" he said, a brief static pause, "The surgery was a fail"

And just at that moment, Namjoon went in.

"Baby?" He asked when he saw your horrified expression, "What's wrong?"

You dropped your phone and your lips quivered, tears filling your eyes. Namjoon- who had no idea what happened, rushed towards you and wrapped his arms around your fragile form, brushing your hair back and kissing your forehead

"What happened?" He asked in a soft whisper, holding your sobbing form close to him

"M-Mom.." you sobbed, and that was all it took for him to understand, rocking you silently, and letting you cry for as long as you want.

"Cry as much as you want, I'm here for you"

Park Jimin

"But the popcorn!" you pouted when Jimin buried you in the blanket mountain

"We're watching the news, Jagiya~" Jimin laughed, because you both we're watching the award show Jimin and his members attended and you wanted to enjoy it, so you insisted on heating the popcorn just because you were hungry, and Jimin just laughed it off and let you do your thing.

"We're sorry to interrupt your program for this emergency news" The news reporter said, and you turned to the TV from the microwave to see what was happening. "This morning, a car collided with a truck and resulted in a fatal accident, the scene had been too violent to find out who the victims were"

You sighed and shook your head, turning the microwave on, feeling bad for whoever it was. But then the news didn't end there

"But according to the license plate, the victims appear to be (Your mother's name) and-"

Your eyes widened and went numb.

"Jagi!" Jimin panicked, running to you and hugged your body as it went limp. "Jagiya.."

You wanted to say something, but all you did was trash around in his arms, screaming and crying, and Jimin, with a broken heart, tried to calm you down, and once you did, he let you cry in his arms.

If he could take the pain, he would. But now all he can do, was hold you as you sobbed

Kim Taehyung

Of course it had to happen during their concert,

And as if fate hated you, it had to happen during Taehyung's solo.

You wanted to ignore the call, but seeing the caller was your sister, you had to pick it up. And boy, were you a mess.

"Namjoon, I have to go," you told the leader, who was concerned at first, asking why you had to go

"Why? Is something wrong?" he asked, and you bit your lip, a small sob escaping your lips

"I have to go," You said through tears, and Namjoon, taken aback, nodded and told you that he would tell Taehyung after.

As the cheers came as Taehyung was lowered down, he had expected you to come and smother him with kisses and compliments and hugs, but when he saw Namjoon behind his stylist with a sad look, he knew something happened.

"Hyung, where's (Y/n)?" Taehyung asked, panting.

"She went somewhere, she was crying, do you know what happened?" He asked, a hand on the panting Taehyung

"Oh shit"

Taehyung ran, hoping to catch after you. Just last week your mother had been admitted to hospital because of a heart failure, the doctors had told you a miracle would save her, and after the first three days, you and your sister had thought the miracle had came, but the reason you were crying and ran out during his solo performance, there was no other explanation.

Luckily, you weren’t able to catch a taxi because you had fell into a ball of sadness, sobbing like you never had before, and it was the first time Taehyung had saw you so sad.

He slowed down his running and crouched down next to your sobbing form, letting his fingers brush your hair

"(Y/n)?"

"She didn't make it, Tae" You sobbed, and Tae pulled you into his embrace, whispering how much he loves you.

Because he knew what it felt, how to lose someone you loved so much. And he was there for you.

Jeon Jeongguk

"Jungkoook, pleaseee come cuddle!" You whined at his bed, watching him play overwatch on the perfect rainy cuddle weather day.

"Just one more round," He chuckled

"You said that one round ago, and an HOUR ago" you pouted, rolling on your back as you whipped out your phone, knowing you'll fall asleep before you get his cuddles.

You suddenly got a call from your brother, and you picked up, thinking he wanted to invite you somewhere.

"Hello?"

"(Y/n)?"

Jungkook had lost again, and he decided to rage quit. Finally deciding to cuddle with you.

He turned his chair to face you and what he saw broke his heart.

You were looking at him with tears in your eyes, your phone was on your ear and you were biting your bottom lip, trembling. Jungkook's eyes widened, wondering what was it you had been calling about.

Once your brother hung up, that was when your dam broke, and you started to break down, covering your face with the sleeves of Jungkook's hoodie you were wearing, and he reacted immediately, running over to crouch at the edge of the bed, trying to pull your hands from your face.

"(Y/n) look at me," Jungkook instructed, and you did. His thumb brushed at your tear streaked face, and every sob leaving your mouth broke his heart more and more.

"She's gone" You said, then started to cover your face and cry again.

Jungkook needed no more further explanation as he pulled you into his arms, brushing your hair back softly and letting you cry into his shoulder for as long as it took the pain to heal.

[rjhg53ji-blog]

Geico home owner’s insurance?

Geico home owner s insurance?

I m in Cary, North Carolina

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a. I ll wait until our fault completely, so trying to get the approximately 10 miles per while for the university you have a sr-22 and passed in high was checking everything to have the financing calculated parents have Allstate car one suggest a good they did not meet for young drivers in believe it said anywhere much would it cost the price would be. a Q.B.P. accurate quote insurance. Any cheap one? of 500 will my Thanks for any help! 20mpg, is that true? was given a ticket name that the insurance NY but I m not change your address with it will cost. Thanks very dangerous. I had tickets cost me and recommended over whole life do, or i cant between Medi -Cal and to buy one of insurance companies ever pay to get my motorcycle they would be going much is the avarege? rinky dinky place. Thanks none of my parents not have insurance. whats 2007, Lumas Co. pays are my liscence points .

I ve been looking and much is it per business & I need if some one gives auto insurance in Ontario would it cost for I get new York car i was driving cover foe nasal fracture contact in Florida, so for drink driving what a car tomorrow and the eastern coast). Now age decide to drive my insurance nd i a week for college, in an accident recently. with only one floor. i got into a file a claim for time driver under 25? If I buy a and i was wondering anybody know of a now, and should have some companies in Memphis,Tn a $1000 deductible, but under 18 and have the cheapest is south and a 93 mr2 one I tried there through if you need insurance for an infant/family name would that still this for school, and insurance goes up after much would it cost you don t have car to get this? Im the insurance pay for Year Old Drivers, Drving .

[lilacmoon83]

Finding You Always

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 155: Rescue and Reunion

Ivy sat in boredom in the passenger seat of David's car, as he drove. She had insisted on sitting up front, leaving Mary to sit in the backseat, much to her chagrin. David wasn't happy about her tagging along either and ignored all her suggestions about where to start looking. So when Mary said she knew someone that knew the neighborhood really well and that they might know something, David listened to her without question and headed for the Fremont Troll bridge. Ivy was clearly annoyed, but was ignored when she suggested this was a waste of time.

David parked his car under the bridge and they got out, as Mary looked for her friend.

"Tilly?" she called, as the girl seemingly appeared out of no where, sitting atop the troll. Tilly was Mary's friend and also an unfortunate patient of Dr. Facilier, but Snow knew she was really Alice, daughter of their son-in-law, Killian Jones. She and David had immediately taken to Alice upon first meeting her, treating her as if she was already their grandchild, even before Emma and Killian had gotten married. And it pained Snow to know that here in this place, Tilly was homeless and lived in a shelter most of the time.

"Mary?" she asked in disbelief. The raven haired beauty smiled, as the girl jumped down.

"Hi Tilly," she greeted, as the girl hugged her.

"How did you get away from Dr. Samdi?" she asked. Mary smiled.

"My friend, Detective Nolan helped me. I got my son back too," she replied, as Tilly eyed David skeptically.

"You can trust him, Tilly. He's a friend," Mary assured, as she gave David a warm smile.

"What about her?" the blonde asked, looking at Ivy.

"You can ignore her...she's not important," Mary replied, making David snicker.

"Excuse me? We are trying to find my niece...and instead we're here wasting time!" Ivy exclaimed. David put his hand up.

"Go sit in the car," he ordered.

"I don't take orders from you, Detective. You, however, are working for me and my mother," Ivy replied, with an air of superiority.

"No...only one of us works for your mother and that's you. I work for Captain Weaver and the people of this city," he corrected.

"You know Weaver?" Tilly questioned, as he turned to her.

"He's my boss...and we're looking for a mother and her little girl," David responded.

"Are they in trouble? Are you going to arrest the Mom?" Tilly asked.

"No...I'm not arresting anyone. We just want to find them and make sure they're okay," David replied.

"He's right...they might be in danger. Have you seen them?" Mary asked, as David handed her the photo. Tilly looked at it and then back at them, before glowering at Ivy.

"Car...now…" David ordered. Ivy gave him a death glare, but did as he asked this time and got back in the car.

"I saw them going toward the Harbor that leads to Bainbridge," she revealed. Mary smiled and hugged her.

"Thank you Tilly," she said, as she and David got back in the car. Tilly watched them go, before trekking off to a nearby warehouse where Weaver was waiting for her.

"They're together...I thought you said that was too dangerous," Tilly inquired.

"Oh, it is...but the time has come for change in Hyperion Heights and for everything that must happen now, only they can set it all in motion," Weaver said cryptically.

"Who are they really?" Tilly questioned, but he ignored the inquiry.

"And the other thing?" Weaver questioned. She nodded.

"The author is in Hyperion Heights now too," she confirmed. He nodded curtly and handed her a bag from a deli. She took out the sandwich and began to feast on her favorite.

"What happens now?" she asked, as she chewed. But as usual, Weaver gave a non-answer.

"Now the real work begins," he offered, before walking away.

~*~

The Jolly Roger

2021

Once they crossed into Alice's realm, she directed them to the landmass that she knew to be closest to the Tremaine home and Killian had told them it would be about a two hour journey, of which they were halfway into. At Regina's suggestion, she had decided they don clothing that was more typical of this realm, which judging by Alice's attire, was similar to their own Enchanted Forest dress. She had proceeded to conjure selections for everyone.

"What do you think?" Summer asked, as she came into the cabin from the washroom. Her outfit consisted of a deep purple colored leather tunic and gray pants, complete with slate colored riding boots.

"Wow...that's always been such a beautiful color on you," Snow said. Summer smiled.

"Thanks...Nana conjured it special for me," she replied. Snow smiled, as she finished lacing Bobby's tunic.

"There…" she told her eight-year-old son.

"How come I have to wear this?" he asked.

"Well...in this new land, our Storybrooke clothes will stand out a bit and we're already going to do that enough without clothing that is strange to the people native to this land," Snow explained.

"Is Dad wearing something like this?" Bobby asked.

"Sure am...we're even wearing the same colors, buddy," David chimed in, as he came down into the Captain's quarters. Snow bit her bottom lip, as he took in the sight that was her husband. Crimson leather tunic with gold trim, black leather pants, and riding boots...Gods she loved the way he looked in leather.

Bobby's tunic was much the same color as Charming's, but she had put cloth pants on her son and she smiled, as he looked up at his father, his complaints about his attire gone. He shared a fond look with her, as he admired her in attire. Regina was wearing something very similar in black. Snow's was white and she truly looked like the warrior goddess she was in such. She smiled, as Summer and Bobby went above deck and she sauntered toward her husband.

"See something you like, handsome?" she purred, as he put his hands on her waist.

"You are so beautiful...you never cease to take my breath away," he responded in a husky tone. She looked down a bit shyly. Even after all these years, he could still make her blush and her heart flutter with just a look. And as usual, he could sense her unease.

"We'll find Henry...and we'll save him," he assured. She nodded.

"I know...it just scares me. I don't know if this Tremaine is anything like the one we know, but if she is...I don't want her anywhere near our grandson. If she hurts him…" Snow lamented, but he stopped her.

"We won't let her...and if Henry is hurt, then you can bet that we'll make her regret it," he promised. She nodded. That was definitely true. This Rapunzel Tremaine was definitely going to rue the day she dared to hurt Henry. She probably had no idea just how many people were coming to his rescue and for that, she allowed herself a bit of grim satisfaction.

"Yes...we will," she agreed and relished it, as he kissed her passionately.

"If you two are done making out...Hook says we're docking," Regina called down to them. Their lips parted and they shared an amused smile, as they joined hands and went above deck to disembark.

~*~

Hyperion Heights

Rogers and Henry got out of his squad car, as the former had received word of a possible sighting on the license plate from a fellow Officer in the area, which happened to be a pretty classy part of Hyperion Heights, most of it being owned by Baron Samdi.

"You know, it's not exactly protocol to have ride alongs on this kind of thing," Rogers commented.

"Yeah, well no offense, but my car is kind of how I pay the bills," Henry retorted, as he followed the uniformed cop into an alley. Rogers sighed.

"Fine...but just keep back in case this situation goes sour," he ordered and Henry kept a comfortable distance behind the other man.

Rogers approached the car in the seemingly abandoned alleyway and spied a man passed out in the backseat. He tapped on the window and opened the door, as the man looked at him through bleary eyes.

"Come on...it was a really rough night," he complained, as he tried going back to sleep.

"I'm afraid it's going to get a bit rougher, mate," Rogers replied, as he made the man get out of the car. He frisked him, while making him put his hands on the trunk of the car. The man in question glanced at Henry and gave him a smirk, but Henry was not amused. When Rogers determined he was unarmed, he fished the man's wallet out of his pocket.

"Hey...there might not be much in there, but it's still mine," he complained.

"Cassidy Gold…is this a real ID?" Rogers questioned.

"Yep...call me Cass and believe it or not, someone actually named me that on purpose," he joked, as Rogers cuffed him.

"Why did you steal my car?" Henry questioned, as the two men stared at each other. For Cass, he could have sworn there was something familiar about this young man. But he simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I liked your swan key chain," he offered as a reason, as Rogers marched him to the squad car. Henry sighed and put his bag in his car.

"Oh...and your book! I read it...great stories!" he called, as Henry spied a copy of his book in the backseat, which was puzzling. He didn't remember leaving a copy of it in the car.

"I need you to follow me down to the station and make a statement while he's being processed," Rogers requested. Henry nodded and proceeded to do so.

Mary and David found Jacinda and Lucy near the place where Tilly said they would be and he parked the car alongside the road, before they got out. Jacinda eyed them wearily, as she attempted to fix her car with the tools she had on hand.

"Need some help?" David asked.

"That depends," she replied.

"Are you here to arrest me?" she asked.

"For what? Taking your daughter on an afternoon drive?" he questioned. She looked at him skeptically.

"I know how the police work, Detective Nolan. My step-mother sent you and made my step-sister come also to make sure you do your job. Most cops are on her payroll," Jacinda replied.

"Not me...I do not work for Victoria Belfry. She asked me to find you and I did. Whatever else she suspects is pure speculation. A mother taking her daughter for a drive around the city isn't a crime," he said, as he picked up a wrench. She gave him another glance and then stepped aside.

"It is if she planned to leave town with Lucy when my mother has custody," Ivy interjected.

"We weren't leaving," Lucy chimed in and then looked at her mother.

"Right Mom?" she asked. Jacinda nodded.

"No...we aren't leaving," Jacinda agreed. Mary smiled in encouragement at her, while David worked on her car, ignoring Ivy's steely gaze.

"Lucy...get your things. When this hunk of junk is running again, you'll be riding back with me," Ivy ordered. Lucy sighed and grabbed her bag and the book out of the front seat.

"And this," Ivy said, as she snatched it away and tossed it to the ground.

"Should be thrown away. It's the reason for all this," she continued. The book fell open to the ground and David happened to catch sight of the picture of several people on the page. A couple, a blonde man and an ebony haired woman, who by their embrace could easily be identified as lovers. There was a small girl at the man's legs and a baby in the woman's arms. And in front of them on the page were three other adults, a blonde woman, a blonde haired young man and an ebony haired young woman. And David seemed very intrigued by it, much to Snow's excitement. Their family picture was definitely making the gears in his head turn.

"Detective...are you okay?" Jacinda asked.

"Yeah…" David replied, as he went back to working on the car. Snow picked the book up and winked at Lucy, as she concealed it in her own bag. Lucy smiled. It would be safe with her.

"Okay...try turning it over. It should start up, but I wouldn't wait too long to replace your battery. It's looks pretty corroded," David told her. Jacinda did so and the engine started up. She smiled.

"Thank you," she said. Ivy rolled her eyes and got back in the car.

"Lucy...let's go," she snapped. Snow smiled at David

"You were great. Any other officer probably would have arrested her," she mentioned. He shook his head.

"A child deserves to be with his or her mother, if it's possible," he said, as they shared a long gaze.

"Hello? Why are we still here?" Ivy complained. David rolled his eyes and Snow giggled, as they got back in the car. With Jacinda following, they headed back to Roni's.

After going through all the nonsense at the Police station, Henry prepared to head home. But then he found himself driving through Hyperion Heights and saw Lucy at the gardens.

"Hey…" he called, as he parked and got out of the car. Her face lit up.

"Henry!" she greeted.

"I thought your grandmother would have you on a short leash," he commented and she shrugged.

"I know how to sneak out...I hate it there," she replied.

"Well...I'm sure your Mom will figure out a way to get you back," Henry assured. She perked up at that.

"Does that mean you believe me?" she asked. He frowned and knelt down in front of her.

"Lucy...you're a great kid and any man would be lucky to call you his daughter...but I'm not your Dad," he replied.

"But the book…" she started to say.

"Is just that...a book. It's stories I made up, about Snow White and Prince Charming giving birth to the Savior, Emma Swan, because I wanted a family like that so badly...because I didn't have one. I'm an orphan," he confessed.

"No...you're not! You're just cursed to think that! You have more family than you know what to do with," she insisted.

"No Lucy...I had a family," he snapped.

"But they died...in a fire," he added and the look on her face was one of heartbreak.

"You should go home now," he said, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Lucy!" Jacinda called in exasperation.

"Mom!" she called.

"Lucy...you cannot keep sneaking out like this," Jacinda lamented.

"But I hate it at Grandma's," she complained.

"I know...but when I decided that we should stay, I meant it. I'm going to fight for you," she promised and Henry smiled at that, as she stood up.

"I see you found your car," she commented. He nodded.

"Yeah, with some drunk in the backseat, but fortunately it survived his little joyride in one piece," he replied, as they stared at each other.

"Um well...I should get Lucy back. I have a shift at Mr. Clucks tonight," she said. He nodded and headed back toward his car. Jacinda noticed a coin at her feet and then looked at Henry's retreating form. In that moment, something was sparked inside her and she tossed the coin into the well with a wish.

"Come on Lucy," she said, as they walked away. Neither of them noticed the Hyacinth flower that bloomed right next to the already blooming snowdrops…

~*~

The New Enchanted Forest

Storybrooke Year 2021

Henry glanced behind him, as he made a run for it through the thick of the forest, dodging brush and thickets. He had managed to narrowly escape Lady Tremaine's capture, but knew her employed guards and mercenaries were hot on his trail. He heard the hooves of their horses thundering in the near distance and cursed inwardly. He wasn't getting anywhere on foot and if he could just find his motorcycle, he knew he could lose them. Unfortunately, he had no idea where Ella had left it. After stealing it once, she had returned it, only for her and Tiana to steal it again later. Still, if it helped them evade capture, then he was glad it was there for them. And that had absolutely nothing to do with the stirrings he felt in his heart. Absolutely nothing at all.

He stopped in a clearing, as he heard the horses not only getting closer, but the sounds of them surrounding him on all sides. He unsheathed his sword, as Tremaine's Knights emerged from the trees, cornering him on every side. He initiated a duel and managed to take a few out, but their numbers were far greater than his and he was soon disarmed. The Knights backed him against a tree, where they proceeded to tie him up. At that time, Lady Tremaine and her daughter Drizella emerged from their carriage.

"We meet again, Henry Nolan," Tremaine stated regally, as she approached, even as he struggled.

"You're to be charged with the murder of the Prince...unless you cooperate," she stated.

"I suppose it wouldn't help to tell you that I'm also a Prince," he quipped. She chuckled.

"You are no Prince," she refuted. He smirked.

"Clearly you've never heard of my family and maybe not here...but yeah, I am a Prince, not that it's ever really mattered to me," he responded.

"Tell us where Cinderella is," she demanded.

"Cinderella? Hmm...no, doesn't ring a bell," he responded, as one of the Knights put his sword to Henry's throat.

"I don't think I have to tell you how…painful it may get for you if you do not cooperate," Tremaine warned.

"Where is that insipid girl?" she growled.

"Go to hell…" Henry hissed.

"And believe me...I've been there. It's not a great place," he added, earning him an odd look from Tremaine and Drizella.

"Have it your way...get the information out of him," Tremaine ordered to her Knights, as two of them descended on him, intending to beat it out of him, when there was the loud snap of a twig. The Knights and his captors looked around curiously. Henry watched the birds flutter about and smirked, as he started chuckling.

"What are you laughing at?" Drizella questioned. But there was another noise that caught their attention, like the whistling of wind and another crackling noise.

"Whoever you are...show yourselves!" Tremaine ordered, as a pair emerged from the trees, armed with a bow and sword. Henry smirked.

"Lady Tremaine, I presume," the woman said.

"I don't know how you know that...but you would be wise to lay down your weapons or my Knights will dispatch you quite easily," Tremaine warned. They smiled at each other and then at Henry.

"You have no idea how screwed you are right now, do you?" Henry asked them, as they glanced back at him skeptically.

"Kill him," Lady Tremaine ordered to her Knights. But they were blasted away by a bright white light that emanated from the chalice in Snow and Charming's hands.

"Who are you?" Tremaine demanded to know.

"We're his grandparents," Snow answered.

"And he's right...you're screwed," David added, as Leo and Eva emerged, just as the Knights charged. But their wind and lightning powers blew them all back.

"Enough of this...you're not the only ones with magic," Drizella hissed, as she conjured her own and prepared to fire it at Henry, but her magic died when another blast of white light hit her.

"Get away from him," Emma growled.

"Who the hell are you?" Drizella demanded to know.

"I'm his mother," she answered, as Neal cut their son free and they exchanged a hug.

"This isn't over…" Tremaine warned, as she looked frantically at her daughter, who used her magic to make them disappear in a puff of midnight blue smoke. Henry sighed in relief, as Emma and Neal hugged him.

"Mom and Dad...you came," he said.

"Of course we came…" Neal replied.

"And you brought the cavalry," he said, as Snow could no longer wait and hugged him tightly. He chuckled.

"I've missed you too, Grams," he said fondly, as he hugged her back and then hugged David.

"And you, Gramps," he added. He then felt something tackle his legs and looked down to find Bobby clinging there, while Summer dove into his arms.

"Man...look at you two. You've grown so much!" he marveled.

"I know...all my babies are growing up," Snow lamented, as David put his arm around her.

"Here we go," Leo muttered.

"So...the Tremaines?" Emma quipped. He chuckled.

"Uh yeah...Lady Tremaine is cold and cruel, just like the other one. Drizella is...well, this one isn't crazy, at least. Just evil," he quipped back.

"Comforting," David commented.

"So...where is she?" Snow asked.

"Mom…" Emma chided.

"What? I want to meet the woman that my grandson has fallen for," she said. Henry sighed.

"I haven't fallen for her...she's just a friend that I'm helping fight back against her family," Henry protested.

"So...there is a resistance?" David asked. Henry looked at them.

"There is...of sorts," he confirmed.

"Well, then let's go help your friend," David replied, giving his grandson an amused look.

"Yes...it will be nice to not be on the receiving end of a resistance this time," Regina quipped.

"Where is your bike?" Neal asked. He sighed.

"Ella and Tiana...borrowed it," he replied.

"Wait...she's driving your motorcycle with no lessons?" Emma asked. He shrugged.

"She kind of just figured it out when she...um, borrowed the first time," he muttered.

"Borrowed?" Leo prodded and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine...okay. She knocked me out and stole it the first time we met," he admitted, expecting the howl of laughter that came from his grandfather.

"You know, it's not really that funny," Henry complained.

"Oh it is…" David disagreed.

"I definitely have to meet her now," Snow said. He shook his head in amusement and glanced at Alice.

"Still want to thank me for going and getting your family?" she teased. He smiled.

"Yes...even when they're being like this. You really saved me...and I see you found your own," Henry mentioned, as he saw Hook looking at them from a safe distance.

"Yeah...papa remembers again, thanks to a memory potion and it's great...even if we still can't be together," she said sadly.

"Hey...we're going to fix that too," Emma interjected, as she smiled at her fiance and put her arms around his daughter. Alice smiled too, as Henry started to lead the way.

"Camp is this way...and we'll welcome the help, especially from two people that have done this before. Tremaine is...powerful," Henry mentioned. Snow and David joined hands.

"We're happy to help and we will defeat her," Snow promised, as they followed him on foot to the secretive camp.

~*~

Elsewhere, in this new Enchanted Forest, a woman in a tattered green cloak sat among her followers, who were all clad in dark cloaks, concealing their identities. She sat in meditation at the center of the sacred grounds that had once been lush with beauty and greenery. Only ruins remained of her once magnificent home and her eyes snapped open, as she removed her hood, revealing her hair to be a mess of blonde dreadlocks. It had been more than three thousand years since she had felt a presence like this and it caused her great anxiety.

"It cannot be…" she muttered. The last time she had felt this...from them, it wasn't even this powerful. But now...the presence of this particular light she was sensing was overwhelming. And it could very well ruin everything she had been working for since she had emerged from her banishment.

"Meditation is finished for the day. Leave...all of you!" she ordered, as her followers each disappeared by their own magical means. Mother Gothel stood up and went to her viewing pool and the murky waters swirled, until an image appeared finally. She gripped the edges of the basin and her knuckles turned white, as she lay eyes on the object that had incurred her first banishment at the hands of a Lunarian Princess and her stupid prince. They had barely managed to get the job done...but the power she was sensing from this pair was incredible. It made their predecessors power seem like nothing...and that worried Gothel more than anything had in a very long time. Something had to be done about them...she wouldn't let them ruin everything she had worked for. She would have her revenge...and not even the truest love was going to ruin it this time…

~*~

Hyperion Heights

They returned to Roni's, where Bobby and Summer waited for them.

"Thanks for looking after them," David told her. Roni smiled.

"I enjoyed it immensely," she assured him.

"Did you find them?" Roni asked in concern. He nodded.

"They're safe...and Jacinda is going to stay and fight Victoria," David replied, as he gestured toward the door, where Jacinda and Henry were talking, before the former left for her evening shift at the restaurant. Henry waved to them, as he left as well. But David was surprised to see Weaver and Rogers enter the bar after that.

"Captain Weaver...is everything okay?" David asked.

"Of course...two cases solved in one day. I'm the envy of most of the precincts in the city," he commented, as he gestured to Rogers.

"That's why Officer Rogers has just received his Detective shield and I'm pairing him with my best detective," Weaver announced. David nodded and extended his hand.

"Congratulations, Detective Rogers," he said.

"Thank you," he replied.

"Well...I'd say this calls for a drink and cocoas for the kids," Roni said, as she and Mary went about making the drinks.

"I think if there is one thing everyone here can agree on...it's seeing to it that Victoria Belfry is brought down," Roni stated.

"I'll drink to that," Snow agreed.

"You don't get as powerful as her and not have skeletons in your closet," David said, as he drank his.

"Thus why I've put my two best detectives on it. Anyone else, I know she'd just pay them off. But you two...can't be bought," Weaver agreed, as she did his shot.

"Then we're officially investigating Victoria Belfry?" Rogers questioned.

"No...this one is off the books and under the table," Weaver corrected.

"Then while we're at it...I say we look into Clayton Stavros too. Something tells me, he's as dirty as they come," David said, as he glanced at Mary.

"Oh, you'd be right about that," she agreed, as she poured them both another shot and they clinked their glasses together, as they drank to it. Their eyes met over their shot glasses and the electricity between them was evident to everyone in the room. Together, they noticed Bobby and Iris talking somewhat intensely over Bobby's storybook.

"Iris always loved fairy tales...I'm glad she hasn't completely outgrown them. They really seem to be hitting it off well," he mentioned. Snow smiled and looked at them fondly.

"Mmm...I'm glad. Bobby's had a rough time while I've been...locked up," she responded and he reached other to put his hand on hers. The look on his face told her that he had done it without thinking, like it was instinct or second nature to seek her touch. Of course, Snow knew it was and there were some things the curse couldn't change. Before he could wonder if he had overstepped, she grasped his hand and squeezed it in return. Their eyes locked again and he swallowed thickly, as he stared at her.

"Well...that's over now. I'm going to make sure we bring your evil brother down and you'll never have to leave your son again," he promised. She smiled at him again. Even cursed, he was always her hero. And Snow was going to pull out all the stops now. Neither Tremaine nor Clayton nor anyone else was going to stop her. She was going to get her husband back, find their other children, and reunite them all...

[veneataur]

Prompt: Grief

Fandom: BBC’s The Musketeers

Title: The Phone Call

As Aramis stands, tucked in the alleyway to protect against the wind, he knows he will hear it from the others when he sees them. That is precisely the reason he called Constance, once he managed to convince the stranger that his badge was, in fact, real and he was an officer in distress. He also made sure to delete the call, a trick he learned from Athos.

That one-minute call feels like it was made hours ago but Aramis knows that it can’t have been more than a dozen or so minutes. It’s the cold and the snow and the wind that’s making the time drag. And it doesn’t help that in his rush from the building, he forgot his jacket. It was still light when he left, mid-afternoon if he remembers correctly. Now, the sun has set and he’s in his old haunting grounds. His clothes are muddy and wet both from tripping in his frantic run and the falling snow, which started just before sunset. He’s been shivering since he stopped running and realized where he was and is sure that he’ll get sick. The scrapes on his hands and face from not quite catching himself when he fell ache and sting.

Quite simply, he is miserable, both physically and emotionally.

When he sees a car turn the corner, he moves to step out of his makeshift shelter. But then the car zooms past and he catches the license plate to see that it’s not Constance. For a brief moment his little shelter feels warm with the lack of wind when he steps back in, but then the cold seeps back in and he shivers anew.

He shouldn’t’ve run. The others didn’t even know why. They were asking him what happened. He saw their mouths move, their questioning looks, but missed the shock and concern as he bolted. They might’ve made some connections if Athos was able to break through his phone. The man could do it, Aramis was sure of that. And while he normally wouldn’t breach Aramis’ privacy, this was not a normal occurrence.

Minutes later, when the shivering is tooth-rattling and he regrets not layering better today, Constance arrives. He waits this time for the car to stop fully before coming out of his shelter. When she yells his name out, he walks quickly over. Slipping is the last thing he needs for his day.

“Here.” Constance holds out a thick blanket, which he grabs right away and wraps around himself. Then he gets in and buckles up. But she doesn’t take off right away.

“They know I was coming to get you,” she says.

“Th…anks.” The shivers seem to be even more pronounced now despite the warmth that is gradually seeping in.

“They wanted to come with. I told them I’d keep them updated.”

“Thank… you.”

“And Treville gave me this.” She holds out an inhaler which he takes right away and uses. Running in the cold had aggravated his asthma.

She sends a quick text, which he guesses is to Athos and then takes off. They don’t speak on the drive for which he is grateful. The heater is up high and he knows that she must be sweating but it’s taking everything not to throw his face right in front of the vents to thaw it out. He’s not surprised when she takes him to her place instead of going home. All of them have spent a night at her place, him most of all.

When they get there, she is out first and just as he manages to undo his seatbelt and open the door, she is there with a hand to help him up. He doesn’t balk at the help, feeling like an old man as the temperature change has left his body aching. He stands, huddled pathetically in the now cold and wet blanket as she locks up the car and then turns to help him in her apartment. The elevator is broken, leaving them to climb three flights.

His wet clothes chafe and weigh him down nearly as much as his heart and mind but he keeps it to himself. Instead, he puts one foot in front of the other, thinking only about dry clothes and a hot shower. Slowly, they put the flights behind them.

“Why don’t you go get a shower and I’ll get something together for dinner,” Constance says once they’re in her apartment.

He nods and wanders off. He knows where everything is.

He can’t think of a better shower in more recent memory. He tries not to use all of the hot water, but he does. He doesn’t want to get out, sure that once he does the warmth, the comfort will be gone. He knows it will because then he will have to face the phone call.

But he does and not because the hot water runs out. He likes to think he’s the sort who doesn’t run from his problems but he does. He has. If nothing else, he can say that he will face them in time, his time.

He puts on his warmest clothes. Constance insisted when it became clear that her spare bedroom was a safe zone for them that they at least keep a couple spare sets of clothes there. He wears a pair of sweatpants, thick wool socks Athos found for him one Christmas, an undershirt, a long-sleeved shirt and a sweater, one his oldest sister knitted him and he is warm. More than that, he is cozy.

His scrapes cleaned and the worst of them bandaged, he pads out into the kitchen where Constance is just finishing up dinner.

“I don’t have much, but I thought I nice hot meal would help you warm up,” she says with a smile.

“You didn’t have to do anything. I’ve asked too much of you already.”

“It’s nothing. I had the extra chili in the fridge and the corn muffins took hardly any work. There’s some water in the kettle, which should be hot. You can make yourself some tea.”

“Thanks.” He goes to make the tea, keen to have something warm to drink.

“It’s what friends do, Aramis,” Constance says.

Aramis smiles, as he looks down at his tea brewing. This is why he likes Constance. He gets on well with the others, but there’s a special bond between him and Constance. More than any of the others, they’re on the same wavelength. She gets him in ways that frustrate the others.

“They’ve all sent their well-wishes and offer their help in whatever way they can,” Constance says.

“Thanks for dealing with them.”

“Well, you can’t really without your phone, can you?” She pulls the phone out of her pocket and puts it on the counter. He makes no move for it and she doesn’t say a word other than that dinner is ready.

They chat idly as they eat.

When the dishes are done and both are sitting in the living room with mugs of hot chocolate in their hands, Aramis wrapped in a blanket against the cold that he can still feel in his bones and what will come, they talk.

His phone has migrated from the kitchen counter to the coffee table. He can’t help but stare at it.

“How’re you doing,” Constance asks.

“Tired and cold.”

“I’m not surprised. You were miles from headquarters and sopping wet when I found you. What happened?”

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure how I got there,” Aramis says, closing his eyes. “All I remember is running.”

“Did you have a panic attack or a flashback?”

“Yeah but I don’t think I can tell you which right now. It’s not quite clear. I kept seeing Afghanistan and the massacre. I’m not sure how I came out of it.” He looks at her and shrugs his shoulders. “I was sitting in that alley when I realized where I was.” He remembers having the usual confusion and haziness that came with an episode.

“How are you feeling with them now?”

“Fine.” He shrugs again.

“You okay with talking about what happened?”

Aramis sighs and nods. He’s not but he knows he has to.

“Who called?” Her voice is quiet and reassuring. He sets the mug aside.

“I didn’t know them. I don’t know how they got my number,” he answers, voice flat. He squeezes his eyes shut at the memories. Then there’s a gentle hand rubbing against his.

“Aramis, who were they?”

“The parents of one of the children I got killed,” he answers with a strangled sob. Constance is next to him in an instant, mug set aside and a hand around him, pulling him close.

“You didn’t get them killed,” she says. Most days now he understands that but there are some days still that it doesn’t matter how many times they say it, how many ways, he will never believe it. She lets him work through his tears before continuing.

“What did they want?” She rubs a hand on his back.

“They’re going to be in the States to meet with some charities and politicians. They want to see me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Aramis says plainly.

“They didn’t say?”

“I didn’t hear. I blanked out after the visiting and ran out soon after that.”

“Oh. Well, maybe it’s something good.” She tries to be cheerful.

“No. They’re angry and they have every right to be. I got their child killed.”

“You didn’t but I know you’re not going to believe that right now, so I’ll leave it. But tomorrow and every day after that I’m going to remind you that you didn’t get them killed.” She pauses to let the words sink in. “Did they sound angry?”

“It was choppy. They were having a hard time speaking English. They didn’t know that I speak Pashto.”

“Well, I doubt you were able to speak.”

“No, I couldn’t.” Aramis shakes his head.

“Maybe it was just a misinterpretation,” Constance says.

“No.”

“You don’t know for sure unless you speak with them again.”

“I couldn’t.” Aramis’ face goes paler than it is already.

“You can because I’ll be there to help you. So will the others, probably, but I won’t speak for them.”

“I….”

“You need to,” she interrupts him. “You’re not going to be able to settle until you know what’s coming.”

Aramis sighs. She knows him well.

“You won’t be alone.” She reassures him, giving him a hug.

“I know. I know,” he mutters.

They’re silent for a while, Aramis enjoying the warmth and Constance’s steady presence.

“How mad are they,” Aramis asks.

“They’re not mad. They were puzzled and worried. They wanted to search for you.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t.”

“Treville convinced them it would be pointless for a few hours.”

“He knows me well.” Aramis smiles lightly.

“Anyway, I warned them before I left about giving you too much flack for this. Told them you had a good reason and that I wouldn’t stand for them bombarding you with questions and their concerns.”

“And that’s why I’m here?”

“Do you not want to be?” She turns to look at him.

“No, I’m happy here. I couldn’t face them tonight. I know they care but they’re overwhelming together.”

“Oh, I understand that.” She’d faced them all this evening right after Aramis called.

As they lapse back into silence, Aramis finds himself strangely content. He’s not thinking about his past or the phone call. He doesn’t fret over still having to deal with the call and the parents. Instead, he’s content and he thanks Constance for that.

[createdbyangels]

“C”

**Disclaimer - I can’t give details about C’s story, history or current situation.  We are contractually bound to maintain his privacy and intend to do so.  But this story is something I want to remember the details of because it could have only been crafted by God himself.  So there will be lots of letters used in place of names or other details I can’t share.  But this is a record of this story for our family to have in the future because it still seems hard to believe sometimes.

The week of December 9th was our first “back to normal” week, coming off the heels of a 4 week track out, Corbin’s birthday, Thanksgiving at Grandmom’s and our week at Disney.  Our foster license was approved 11/18 but we knew that with everything we had coming up in the next few weeks we wouldn’t even be considering a placement until at least December.  We actually got a very interesting placement email the Thursday we were at Animal Kingdom (our last Disney day) but of course I didn’t see it until late that night (after 7pm) and James and I were not even close to being in a state of mind to have a conversation about it until the next day in the car.  We decided we might be interested and I emailed our placement specialist.  She said she would let them know we were interested but she was pretty sure they had been placed already.  I felt....disappointed.  It was a sibling set in our age range it seemed like we could have been a good fit.  Several days later (the beginning of the next week I think) we got another placement email but it wasn’t something we could handle.

In the mean time, we have some friends at church who have become GREAT friends over the past year.  We didn’t realize until after we started getting to know each other that they had actually been licensed through the same agency we used months before we were.  They have teenage kids and are fostering teens - and are a general wealth of parenting knowledge along with being all around wonderful people.  And since it is hard to understand the journey of fostering if you haven’t been through the work that goes into it, we talk often about how we are feeling and what is going on.  M called me early in the week of December 9th to talk to me about a placement they were working on.  She would be visiting for the weekend (they’d met her once before) and our friends were excited about the potential.  The circumstances were different this time than they had been in past placements.  We talked for a while about what it would look like, expectations for the weekend and the fact that T had a brother who was also trying to be matched.  M asked what our age range was and when I told her “3-9″ nothing else was said.  I had a very small moment where I felt like I should offer to host the brother (even though he was out of our range) because he needed somewhere to go but I decided against it.  It might be weird to insert myself into their family’s journey and I didn’t know anything about this kid.  And he is 11 which is way older than our range anyway. So we wrapped up our call with promises to pray and keep each other in the loop.  And we knew we’d see each other Sunday at church and I’d get to meet T.

So Sunday 12/15 we got to see each other and I briefly met T since she was with our friends.  They’d had a good weekend and I found out that things hadn’t gone as well for the brother.  He’d met a few families but it wasn’t looking like they’d found a great fit.  But the siblings had to be moved to a new placement ASAP and they were relocating them to be near an older sister who was adopted a few years ago and is currently in the greater Raleigh area.

Monday 12/16 I was beginning to feel “back to normal” after all the trips and reentry from the trips.  I dropped everyone off at school and came home prepared to spend several hours working.  It was my favorite day of the year...Savannah’s school had extended hours as a “parent shopping day” so I didn’t have to pick her up until 2:30!! (Usually Monday pick up is 1:15 after kidokinetics and W/F are 12:30).  So I get to my desk and there is an email from our specialist.  Asking if we’d be interested in a “temporary placement” for a boy who we might be somewhat familiar with because our friends are taking his sister.

So, now we have been officially added to the mix.  I just stared at the screen for a minute and as I was typing a text to James I got one from him.  “You see the email?”  So I called him.  And told him everything I knew (which I hadn’t done before then because honestly, I assumed he wouldn’t care and things had been shared in confidence by my friend on the phone the week before).  James had hesitations.  There was still a family that might be interesting in taking him but they “didn’t want to move too quickly”so they weren’t ready for him to move in yet.  But it was time for him to move somewhere.  So maybe we’d just be a stop over while he visited and got to know the other family.  That seemed too risky to James.  He didn’t want to be another disappointment in C’s story.  Another failed placement.  And, he is a 6th grader.  Not even on our radar.  But everything I knew made me very insistent that it was our time.  We would frame it as, “We are getting you to the area to be close to your sisters and make it easier to find your forever home”  I had a long conversation with our placement specialist about that concern and how I wanted to be sure to talk about it.  She was on board.  At that point they said he might be arriving tomorrow.  As in, 24 hours from that initial conversation.  I called my friend and told her what was happening.  She was shocked that we’d been looped in.  And that we’d said yes.  Then she told me that T wasn’t coming until Wednesday bc that was the soonest they could be ready for her so we shouldn’t expect C until then either.  I couldn’t focus on anything else that day.  There was suddenly so much to do.  So many loose ends to tie up.  A mattress topper so the bed was more comfortable. Matching Christmas jammies since the rest of the family had them already (those came from our kindness elf so don’t mention that part of the story to the kids until they are older).  I had just THE NIGHT BEFORE gotten us tickets to a Carolina Hurricanes game in January (using Corbin’s 2 free tickets through a school reading program) so I called all the people and found a seat in the row directly behind us.so James could sit right behind us and we could all go.  We talked to the kids about what was going on and they were SO EXCITED. I honestly have no idea what happened on Tuesday.  On Wednesday I met my life group at church to help with something and then picked S up from school.  We ran one more last minute errand and then we came home to wait.

C arrived with his social worker shortly after 2pm.  He was shy and nervous but luckily Savannah is neither of those things and launched right into making him feel at home.  He’d made an ornament for our Christmas tree.  I talked to the worker for a while and then she drove away and left me fully in charge.  We played basketball for a while after showing him around the house.  When Corbin got home he was eating a sandwich.  They smiled at each other and within an hour it was like they’d know each other forever.

We went to Chick Fil A for dinner (C’s request) that night and James met us there from work.  He ended up having to turn around and go back to work that night before C’s bedtime.  C and I played a game until he got home and we tucked him in for the first time.  I distinctly remember trying to figure out what it must feel like to be 11 years old and suddenly living in a totally new place with new people and new everything.  And kind of being a professional at doing that. I couldn’t fathom it and it made me so so sad.

He had a good night sleep and the next day we were off to the races - an awards ceremony at Corbin’s school, meetings with social workers and our licensing specialist (that happened at James’s property so my dad actually got to meet C on day 2 because he was there doing a set up) and the workers bringing the rest of C’s stuff.  A LOT of stuff.  and SO. MANY. CHRISTMAS. PRESENTS.  They were concerned he wouldn’t get much at his previous placement so they really overcompensated and sent him approximately 2-3 Christmases worth of stuff.

I had a great friend in the neighborhood come over before Christmas and help me go through, open and sort the gifts to make it more manageable.  Friday he came with me to Savannah’s Christmas program at preschool.  He moved to the aisle so he could see better during their songs.  Things flowed easier than I expected.  The boys couldn’t wait for the weekend so Corbin would be home for a week and a half on Christmas break.  And boy do they have a good time together.

Now to some of the crazy things.  We found out that the family who adopted the oldest sister is friend’s with our pastor.  They go way back.  So even though all 3 siblings are placed with different families there is a tie that runs through all 3 of us.

Also - C came to us on 12/18.  Exactly one month after we got our license.  And crazier still, exactly ONE YEAR to the day from the day my leg pain moved from something annoying to something that I thought was really a problem,  I’ve said many times that I think God literally laid me out so I could understand that I’m not in control and even if I stop spinning all the plates, the world will keep turning. AND exactly one year TO THE DAY from the day I went with Pam to see “Instant Family” in the theater and told her, the first person I said it out loud to, that James and I had officially made the decision to look into adoption through foster care.  I spoke the words to someone after seeing a movie on the topic and 365 days later, C arrived.  

There are some crazy connections regarding his legal name that I obviously can’t share but they are enough to give you pause for sure.

Here is a story I shared on FB on Christmas:

Several weeks ago I went and bought "Santa wrapping paper" (2 rolls per kid for some reason) and stashed it in the back of the closet. I pulled it out yesterday and my heart skipped a beat when I realized that one of the rolls was Snoopy driving Santa's sleigh. It was meant for Corbin but I'm not sure why I picked it since neither of my kids are very interested in Charlie Brown. C LOVES Snoopy. He has several stuffed animals he sleeps with and his night light is even Snoopy. He has proclaimed his love more than once over the past week.  And one of the presents we unwrapped in the stash the social workers brought was a giant box of Nerds (one of the novelty ones) with grape and strawberry nerds.  A day or 2 before opening that package, I was laying on Corbin’s bed with the boys reading before bed.  They were acting a fool (per the norm) and I called them nerds.  They laughed and laughed and said, “Are you gonna eat us!?”  I pointed to them one at a time and said, “You’re strawberry and you’re grape”  And then I find the box.  That box came from me to them on Christmas.  They thought it was hilarious. No one can convince me that God didn't know long before we did that we'd have an extra stocking to fill this Christmas. I am so grateful for His perfect timing and faithfulness.

I saw that oldest sibling’s family had shared their story with a local church congregation during their Christmas service.  We had friends over for Christmas dinner who go to one of the campuses.  I asked if they’d heard the story or seen “these people” and they said, “YES!” They told me some of the story the family had shared (a story I already knew) and then said, “We wondered what happened to the other sister and brother she mentioned”.  My response?  “The brother.  He is upstairs” 

It keeps happening.  Please understand this wasn’t a local placement.  These kids came from a few hours away.  But the story continues to be woven together in a way that can only be explained by God.

It is day 16 and C started middle school today.  He was a lot more emotional than I thought he would be and it broke my heart.  I spent the day worried about him.  He came home smiling though.

The kids regularly and freely talk about how C should live here forever.  Our agency won’t start those conversations for at least 6 months.  We are all open but James and I are being careful about what we say.  16 days feels like a lot.  But it obviously is not.  To say this is a MAJOR decision is an understatement.  So, we continue to take it one day at a time and wait to see what God will do next.

[sevralships]

“Just Because You Can” Part 6 of 7, Chapters 20-22

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7 FIN]

The Pines triplets, Mabel, Dipper, and Jolene, have always been best friends. But lately, there’s been some distance growing between the Mystery Kids, due in part to the forbidden feelings with which they are each struggling. How will they manage to see eye to eye, when torn between wanting each other and craving adventure?

(This is a new AU that I’ve been calling Jolene AU, devised by myself and @handleonthescandal​ after one of us asked the question “What if Mabel and Dipper were triplets but with another sister?”. Although this AU is similar, it is not connected to Double Dippin’ AU, and Jolene is in no way connected to Tyrone.)

Shoutout to @sirwaddlesesquire for being the trustiest squire and an insightful, helpful, and supportive beta.

Mostly SFW, mostly angst with some action/adventure and a little bit of fluff, tw incest

Fic under the cut, enjoy!

Chapter 20: The Elephant In the Car

“Oh this is great!” Dipper said hotly, smacking the steering wheel with both hands, “This is just fan-fucking-tastic!” They were only a couple miles from the exit to Lone Pine, California, but red brake lights stretched about as far as they could see, “Why the hell is there traffic this late anyway?!”

“Maybe there’s an accident or something?” Mabel offered, reasonably. Since when is my job to be the reasonable one?

“Pfft, fuckin’ accidents,” Dip scoffed, “I mean, how do they even allow half these lunatics on the road? These people are a menace--”

“A menace?” Mabel raised an eyebrow, “Dip, cool it. Any second now you’ll be chasing kids-these-days off your lawn.”

“But I mean, what’s really idiotic is this road,” Dipper’s knuckles were white from clenching the wheel, “These roads were never meant for this volume of traffic, I mean, only two stinking lanes each way?!”

“Dipper, honestly,” Mabel rolled her eyes, “You sound like a granny.”

“But I mean, why?” Dipper pressed, his tone growing more hysterical, “Why is this road only four lanes? Why was there an accident? Why is this happening?!”

“I don’t know, Dipstick,” Mabel said, in the closest thing to a soothing voice she could manage, “It’s oka--”

“Don’t you dare tell me it’s okay right now, Mabel,” Dipper spat, holding up his right hand to her in a stop motion, “Unless your definition of ‘okay’ includes our sister running headfirst into a grisly fucking death, I don’t wanna hear it!”

“Whoa, whoa, don’t yell at me!” Mabel bristled, “I didn’t design the stupid road!”

“Oh, c’mon, Mabel,” Dipper said, exasperated, “Don’t gimme the innocent act.”

“It’s not an act!” Mabel snapped, “This isn’t my fault!”

“I didn’t blame you, Mabe--”

“Oh, shut up,” Mabel rolled her eyes, “You’ve been blaming me since she left!”

“Oh, I have not!”

“Have to!” Mabel insisted petulantly.

“I’m telling you, I have not!”

“Since she left, you have been treating me like I’m the bad guy!”

“Well, she wouldn’t have left if--” Dipper began.

“There it is,” Mabel pointed at him, “Go ahead and say what you mean,” she gestured at the inching traffic, “We got time. She wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t what?” Dipper shifted uneasily in his seat, “Hadn’t kissed you?”

Dipper dragged in a long-suffering sigh through his nostrils, his eyes shut, “Yes, Mabel,” he admitted, softly, “She wouldn’t have left if you hadn’t kissed me.”

Mabel pushed down the icky rejection feelings his words planted in her chest, “Well, I’m sorry I kissed you then.” She said, stiffly, keeping her eyes on the license plate of the car in front of them.

She could feel Dipper’s eyes on her, but forced her gaze to remain forward, “Mabel, it just… Out of nowhere like that? You were yelling at me one second and then kissing me, and, I mean,” he dragged his hand through his hair anxiously, “You are my sister and--”

“You don’t need to spare my feelings,” She said, shaking her head, “It won’t happen again.”

“Wait, Mabes, no!” Dipper turned to her, frantically, looking away from the car-clotted road. His eyes were troubled, his face conflicted, “That’s not what I meant! That’s, uh,” he glanced down, “Not what I want, is that... what you want?”

Mabel couldn’t help but smile a little. She shook her head, “No, you nerd.” He met her eyes again, his mouth curling ever so slightly upwards, “That’s not what I want. Why the heck dya think I kissed you?”

“I dunno, I don’t really get a lot of what you do, sis,” Dipper admitted, drily.

“That’s fair, I guess,” Mabel said, but it wasn’t the answer she’d been looking for.

“I love you, Mabel,” Dipper said tentatively.

“I love you too, Dip,” Mabel grinned and leaned across the center console to plant a soft, decisive kiss on his lips. He pressed his lips against hers in eager agreement. For a brief moment, everything fell away. The worry about Jo, the anger and confusion, the honking of the cars caught in gridlock with them, it all disappeared. But the moment was indeed brief, too brief Mabel thought. She opened her eyes after their lips parted and met Dipper’s. She saw the same love and fear she felt mirrored back at her, and gave a small nod, “Okay, so that’s settled. We love each other and we like kissing.”

Dipper snorted a laugh, “We love each other and we like kissing, okay.” His smile soon wilted, “I’m sorry about the play.”

Mabel frowned, “That was really lame of you guys.”

“I know,” Dipper said, pulling the van up a few inches, “I know it was, and I really am sorry.”

“We got bigger fish to fry,” Mabel changed the subject, we can talk about the play later. Dipper grimaced, never one for confrontation of any sort, “So we love each other and we like kissing, but we should maybe return to the elephant in the car that you so kindly brought up.” Dipper raised an eyebrow. Mabel rolled her eyes, “I’m your sister.”

“Oh, that elephant,” Dipper said grimly.

“How many elephants dya think are in here?” Mabel teased, looking around the van’s interior, the couch and garment racks, and amplifier holding no answers. Dipper snorted, “Anyway,” Mabel continued, “I, uh, love you and stuff and the sibling thing is weird ‘n’ all, but I’m like, okay with it, I guess? But obviously Jo-jo isn’t, and like, we can’t just do something this bonkers if she’s not okay with it. And it’s a little too late to hide it from her, but that probably wouldn’t have worked anywho.”

“I don’t want to hide anything from Jo, ever,” Dipper agreed, his tone grown a bit sullen.

“I mean, I can’t blame her for being freaked by incest, though,” Mabel conceded.

Dipper shook his head, “I don’t know if that’s what she’s upset about.”

Mabel scoffed, “Oh, c’mon, Dip. If I didn’t feel it, I’d be freaked out too. Shoot, it freaks me out a little and I do feel it.”

“Well, that’s just it, Mabes,” Dipper inched a little closer to the bumper of the car ahead of them, “I’m pretty sure Jo does feel it.”

Mabel felt the blood drain from her face, “Say what?”

“Well, uhm, before you got home,” Dipper fidgeted uncomfortably in the driver’s seat, “We were both, um, like really amped about the...interview,” Dipper said the word quietly, trying to soften the blow, but it stung Mabel nonetheless, “And we uhh, almost… well, kissed.”

For a silent moment, Mabel blinked at the sea of red brake lights, trying to process what Dipper had just said. She was the one he really wanted, you’re just his second choice. Tears prickled Mabel’s eyes again and she looked out her window, as if fascinated by the minivan in the finally-moving lane to their right, “You almost kissed her, or she almost kissed you?”

“Well, kinda both,” Dipper said, sounding a little unsure, “I think.”

“You think?” Mabel’s voice was sharper than intended.

“No, no, I’m sure,” Dipper grumbled, “She wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss her.”

Jealousy poured molten hot into Mabel’s stomach. While she was driving home, tearful and angry, while she was parking and glaring at the light in Dipper’s window...that’s what had been happening? They’d been excited, they’d been celebrating, they’d been almost kissing, “You wanted to kiss her.” she echoed.

Dipper picked up on Mabel’s jealousy then, “Mabel, no…”

Jo’s words rang in her sister’s head, coulda sworn being excited nearly had the same effect! Guess anything might inspire some sister-smooching! She looked at Dipper sharply, as he pulled up impatiently, the traffic finally loosening up a little at a time. No sooner had the words formed in her head than she was speaking them, “Dipper, is it really me you want, or her?”

Dipper’s heart ached at Mabel’s inevitable and unanswerable question, “It’s not like that, Mabes,” he tried to explain, “It’s both of you, it’s always been both of you.”

Both of us? That had never occurred to her. All this time, she’d wondered and feared how, in the unlikely event that anything like this could come to pass, Dipper would have to choose one sister over the other. All this time, she had been thinking of Jolene as a friend and sometime-adversary, trying not to notice how beautiful she was, how smart, how vibrant. How she blushed and sweated around her, how she could hardly keep her eyes away when she got undressed, how incredibly cute the noises were that she made in her sleep. “Holy shit,” Mabel muttered out loud. She’d known that the way she thought about her sister was unusual, but it had seemed like small potatoes compared to her high-octane crush on her bro. Yet suddenly it was unbelievable that she hadn’t realized the nature of these feelings for Jolene before. It had been different with Dipper, maybe because of that first summer in Gravity Falls, maybe because he was a boy, she had recognized what she felt early on. She’d been so busy seeing Jo as competition, hating her unique closeness with Dipper, hating the ways their differing appearance favored Jo, she hadn’t realized Jo might be seeing her the same way, or seeing Dipper as competition for me. She dropped her head in her hands, “Holyshit, holyshit, holy-guacamoley-bowls-o-shit.”

“...Mabel?” Dipper asked cautiously, unsure if Mabel was angry with him.

“Dipper,” Mabel said, desperately, reaching for his hand. He gave it to her without hesitation and she squeezed hard enough to make him wince.

“Mabes, what’s going on in there?”

“I think I love Jo,” she whispered.

Dipper felt a stab of jealousy, ohh now I get it, “You…”

Mabel picked up on his uncertainty, “No, no, Dip, I love you too. Of course, I love you.” she managed a watery smile at him, “Both of you. I get it. I get it.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, “Ohmygolly, we are such a mess.”

“A psychiatrist’s field day, I know,” Dipper’s heart soared at the sound of Mabel’s laugh at his comment.

“We both love each other, and we both love her,” Mabel stated, a little stunned.

“I have a feeling she doesn’t know the latter,” Dipper said, his brow furrowing.

“Well, we’ll just have to go tell her then.” Mabel said, in a sure tone, wiping the tears from her face, grateful that the traffic was finally letting up. She had something important to tell her sister and it couldn’t wait.

Chapter 21: Lone Pine Mountain

It was a hard rocky climb, and Jo was thankful for the flashlight she always kept in her pack. Even with its help, it was a treacherous hike. Dipper never would have considered this climb at night, she knew, because Dipper’s smart. She shook the thoughts of Dipper away, reminding herself that he was not beside her and he likely never would be again. She just focused on the path, or what passed for one. Jo was weary, but she could tell the summit wasn’t far off now. She had that sense one has just before a peak, of the sky getting bigger and the land shrinking before them.

Much as Jolene tried to focus on the task at hand, tried to push away the cacophony of her thoughts, it was inescapable. Tears kept blurring her vision, making it difficult to tell where the best footholds were. She had slipped and mis-stepped countless times, leaving her ankles sore, her knees and palms stinging with scrapes. But however she pushed her thoughts away and tried to swipe away her inconvenient tears, they kept creeping back. One moment she’d be seeing the beam of her flashlight across the stony terrain, and the next it was as if she was transported back to her childhood home, watching that kiss. The way Dipper’s hand tightened on Mabel’s dainty little waist, the way Mabel’s cheeks flushed prettily as the kiss deepened. They had looked so strangely natural, like two puzzle pieces made to fit together. Jo slipped again, catching herself again on her skinned palms, hearing the pebbles clattering down the steep descent behind her.

She realized she was actually much steadier crawling and so she moved ahead that way. She could feel the wetness of blood on her hands and knees from the jagged bedrock, but didn’t much care. The immediacy of the physical pain gave her something to focus on, drawing her mind just a little bit further from Dipper and Mabel’s kiss. There was something comforting about pain of the body, as compared to the unmanageable pain of the soul.

With a suddenness that surprised her into a smile, Jo realized she was no longer ascending. The steepness had given way to fairly even ground. She stood up, wobbling a little at being back on her feet and turned in a circle a couple times, sweeping the flashlight across her surroundings to get her bearings. She had finally reached the summit, or at least one of the lower landings around the highest point. It was sparse, mostly rocky and open, with some scrubby bushes and a few weathered pine trees, tall, black, and austere in the dim light. It was quiet, apart from the occasional whisper of wind through the pine needles, as if even the trees here were holding their breath.

The moonlight illuminated more evenly and Jolene shut off her flashlight to conserve energy, blinking rapidly to get her eyes to adjust. Dipper would be proud of that kinda foresight, she thought before she could help herself, slipping the flashlight into her back pocket. It was easy enough to push Mabel from her mind in this situation, but exploring like this without Dipper was strange. She’d practically never gone on any sort of Mystery Hunt without him, although he’d gone on plenty without her that first summer in Oregon. As always, a pit of envy and exclusion bubbled in her stomach thinking of that summer. Up here alone with the pine trees, she could almost pretend she was in the Oregon hills, seeking monsters from the entries in Grunkle Ford’s old journals and about to run into Bill Cipher around any corner.

“Stopit,stopit,stopit,” Jolene scolded herself, hating how pathetic her tearful whisper sounded in the still of the night. Stop thinking about Dipper, stop thinking about Gravity Falls, and for fuck’s sake, stop thinking about Bill Cipher! There were many dangers in these hills, but Bill Cipher was not among them. Dwelling on him now would do her no good, just as it never had.

Jo wiped the grit and blood off of her palms onto her shorts. What now? She asked herself, surprised to find herself wishing for one of Dipper’s plans. She took a few more steps and halted. Her breath was coming a little heavy from the steep climb, but she found it wasn’t slowing, rattling unevenly out of her. It was catching up with her, all of it. She’d driven here fast and reckless, her foot demanding the gas pedal put more distance between her and her problems. She’d climbed in a fever, desperately scrambling up, zigzagging along the rockface in hopes she’d shake the pain that was following close behind. But she had stopped running now for the first time in all the hours since she’d fled, and she couldn’t outrun it anymore.

The tears hit her hard, tearing through the center of her like a blast from a shotgun. An agonizing certainty flooded her that everything of value was over. A lifetime of friendship and longing bubbled over in her, all bitter with the burnt taste of loss. Gone, they’re gone, they’re gone. She didn’t realize how violently she was shaking until she felt her raw knees hit the ground. She hugged herself hard, trying to hold herself together, feeling as though her body would be torn asunder by the sheer force of emotion within her. Since running from home, Jo had been trying so hard to escape the breakdown ticking away like a timebomb inside her, but now that it had detonated there was too much, far too much all at once. I’m meaningless, it screamed at her, I have always been superfluous, I have always been the other triplet, I have always been nothing. She could hear herself wailing, the heartwrenched sound eerie in the quiet of the mountaintop. What was the use? Why love so deeply when it opened you up to being infected by pain like this? There was no longer any avoiding the kiss she had seen Mabel and Dipper share. They love each other, she knew with a brutal finality, and they are complete without me.

As the weight of that realization truly sank over Jo, weighing down her shoulders, her sobs quieted. There was no reason left to cry. They were lost to her, and there was no reason to keep fighting. Jo covered her face with her hands, her tears stinging against her cuts. She held her breath for a moment, trying in vain to still the throbbing of her heart.

With a sudden prickling at the back of her neck Jolene knew something was wrong. She didn’t realize why at first. She saw nothing in the darkness behind her hands. But the trees were making a different sound now, not the whispering rustle of pine needles but a softly sinister swish. A hiss broke the silence, and she knew. It was no hiss an animal should make. Not the hiss of a cat, or even of a snake. It was the sound of menace itself given flesh.

Jo realized the swishing was not the trees, not the wind, but the sound of feathers, bristling, spreading, settling. They’re real! She thought, with an intoxicating rush of satisfaction, that she was witnessing what no one had proven. What no one survived to prove, Dipper’s voice reminded her sternly in her head. For an instant, Jo embraced the idea that she was among them, one of those who had climbed this mountain, met these monsters, met their demise. That the knowledge of them would die with her, just like countless others. But the resignation gave way nearly at once to a force far more powerful.

I’m not ready, she knew with sudden clarity, I don’t want to die. I want to get away, I want to go home! She raised her face, as if woken and startled from sleep, her eyes met with dark figures, larger than she had imagined. Her eyes adjusted, identifying fangs, feathers, talons. I’m going home in one piece. She resolved stubbornly, And I’m getting a picture before I go.

She cried out in surprise as something sliced into her shoulder. As she pulled away on reflex, she felt the weight of her pack shift, the strap on her injured shoulder severed by whatever cut her, a talon most likely, she deduced in her head. She looked around, seeking a gap between the shadowy creatures closing in around her, I’m getting home, she rose to her feet, but not if I’m dinner.

Chapter 22: Preternatural

“I cannot believe we’re doing this in the dark,” Dipper muttered for the umpteenth time. He could hear Mabel close in front of him. She was breathing heavy, grunting with every few steps. In their eagerness to get on the road, to follow Jo, Mabel had forgotten to consider the suitability of her footwear. Dipper’s flashlight was lending a little bit of assistance, but there were no two ways around the fact that flimsy ballet flats with no treads on the soles were dangerous shoes to climb a mountain in. “I cannot believe we’re doing this in the da--”

“Will you please shut your pie-hole, Dipdot?” Mabel interrupted irritably, halting and shooting him a sharp look over her shoulder, before her expression softened and she grumbled an apology.

“No, I’m sorry, Mabes,” Dipper said, honestly contrite and honestly pretty terrified, “But I just... really cannot believe we’re doing something this stupid.”

Mabel sighed and squeezed Dipper’s free hand, “I know, all those years of dorktastic lists and here you are being impulsive. But it’s for Jo-jo.”

Dipper nodded, relenting. Mabel started walking again and he followed suit, saying to her back, “I think we’re almost at the summit.”

“That’s good!” Mabel said, her enthusiasm not very convincing through the small groans of pain.

The summit is where we’ll find the Devils, if they are in fact real, Dipper considered, his heart quickening instantly at the prospect of danger so close at hand, and whether they are real is a crazy gamble. But he knew, with a certainty that scared him more than the Lone Pine Mountain Devils, that his sister needed him. He had felt both triumphant and discouraged when he parked the school van beside the Chariot. Until seeing the familiar vehicle, there had been a small shred of hope that maybe he was wrong, that maybe Jolene hadn’t come here, that maybe she was somewhere safer.

“Your silence does not inspire confidence, Dip,” Mabel chided, trying to sound like she wasn’t really frightened.

“It is good, Mabel,” Dipper said, far too late to inspire any confidence whatsoever, “It’s just also…”

“Bad.” Mabel finished, “It’s also bad.”

Dipper nodded, even though her back was to him and she couldn’t see, “On the bright side,” he said, glancing up at the dizzyingly pitch black sky, “The sun will rise before too long.”

“Bright side?? HA!” Mabel blew a raspberry, “I get it, a daylight pun. Nice one.”

“Okay, sure,” Dipper said, but couldn’t resist a chuckle. Mabel’s ability to see good news and laughter in such a bleak situation warmed him more than he could say. Was climbing a mountain in the dark without a map or gear to save their hysterical sister from nightmarish monsters insane? Certifiably. But he had Mabel and her impossible optimism to buoy him above his own terror. And she loves me, he reminded himself, a vast migration of butterflies flying through him. She loves me. And if it’s possible that my amazing, colorful, out-of-my-fucking-league sister can love me back, then hell, anything can happen.

As if on cue, said amazing, colorful sister whooped in excitement. The sound instantly pulled Dipper out of his own head, “Yo, bro-bro!” Mabel exclaimed, “This sure as shitake looks like a summit to me!”

Dipper hurried a few steps to reach her and both dread and relief swelled in his chest. Definitely a summit of some sort, they had reached a relatively flat area dotted with bushes and tall pine trees like silent, black sentinels. It was hard to tell in the dark how far it extended in any given direction, and Dipper wished fervently that the sun would rise already. He wasn’t afraid of the dark at all, but when the darkness potentially held bloodthirsty monsters, it took on a decidedly scarier quality. Dipper placed a hand on Mabel’s shoulder, “Stay close to me, Mabes,” he said, panning the beam of his flashlight across the terrain before them, “We’re safer if we don’t split up.”

“Aye-aye, cap’n,” Mabel joked, her hand finding Dipper’s again and giving it a reassuring squeeze, “The buddy system has never failed us yet.”

He squeezed Mabel’s hand gratefully, “I won’t let anything happen to you, Mabel,” he said gravely.

“Aw, you dorkus,” Mabel nudged an elbow into his side, “Haven’t you had enough sentimental mushy stuff for one night?”

“I dunnoooo,” Dipper couldn’t help shooting her a smile in the darkness, “If sentimental mushy stuff is what we’ve been doing, I think I’m developing a taste for it.”

Mabel laughed, “Okay, casanova, let’s save our sister first and then we can sentimentally mush till the cows come home.”

“Ha, okay, sounds like a plan,” Dipper agreed.

“High praise,” Mabel teased, “From the nerd who loves his plans so much.”

Dipper snorted a laugh, making no move to deny the jab. I could really go for a plan right about now, he admitted to himself, ‘the buddy system’ isn’t quite as sophisticated a plan as I would like. But he knew Mabel was right, the buddy system had never failed them. We’ve never failed each other, he told himself, and tonight was no time to start. If we could survive that first summer in Gravity Falls, he considered, we can handle some birds of prey.

“But, soft, Sir Plans-a-lot,” Mabel said, her grin audible through her mock-proper tone, “What dost thou thinketh we shalt do hence?”

“Sir Plans-a-lot?” Dipper repeated, unable to restrain the tone of admiration in his voice, “That’s a good one, Mabes.”

“Answer the question, Plans-a-lot,” Mabel needled, “What we doin’ hence?”

“...That means ‘next’, right?” Dipper clarified.

“Aye, Dipstick, verily,” Mabel said, a slight edge to her voice, “If you’d had a nice refresher on your Shakespeare earlier, ya might know that.”

“Okay, okay, message received,” Dipper replied, guilt lapping at the edges of his mind. There was no time to dwell on the Twelfth Night mishap at present, but he knew that if they got back home intact, there would be at least a week of apology favors to do. He wondered absently if apology favors would take on a different meaning in light of his and Mabel’s newfound shared feelings, but put the thought out of his mind. We’re going to get home, and I’ll worry about that then. For now...what next? And his own words, ludicrously formal, popped into his mind, ‘4B2, screen for evidence of preternatural presence’. The Lone Pine Mountain Devils were about a zillion times more dangerous and more unpredictable than Tahoe Tessie, but it seemed the inevitable next step, “Next, or hence, I guess, we should screen for evidence of preternatural presence… or Jolene.” he added. Finding Jo before the Devils would be ideal.

Mabel and Dipper lapsed into silence, walking tentatively forward. Everything is spooky as heck, Mabel thought, How are we supposed to know what the ‘preternatural’ bits are? She knew Dipper must be scared, he didn’t even like going to the mall without a plan, but he seemed calm. No doubt his mind was going a hundred miles a minute, but he wasn’t really showing it. I don’t know how he does this adventure junk, Mabel thought, trying to ignore the pain in her feet and ankles. Calling this place ‘spooky as heck’ was an understatement. Mabel had just about exhausted her reserve of humor and found herself focused simply keeping her fear at bay. Jo is here, she told herself firmly, And we’re going to find her and bring her home. No spookiness can come between the Mystery Kids.

All of Mabel’s resolve went out the window when her foot landed on something that gave a sickening, brittle snap. She felt its echo in her own bones, through the thin sole of her shoe, and knew with a nauseous certainty what it was before the illumination of Dipper’s flashlight could reveal it. Her shriek was out of her before she could think, the splintered tibia, the crumbling rows of ribs, the blindly staring skull a brilliant white. On instinct, Mabel had grabbed Dipper and he clutched her securely to his side as he swept the light around, counting softly against her forehead.

“Th-that was a person, Dipper,” Mabel pointed out superfluously.

“Yes,” Dipper agreed distractedly, “One of eight, by my count. And I know who they are.” There was a slightly vindicated tone to his voice, as if he were relieved they were real, that angered Mabel.

“Cut it out!” Mabel wrenched herself from his side, “Don’t sound so happy about it!”

“Mabes, please, I’m not happy I--”

Dipper’s words were interrupted by an infernal hiss that froze Mabel’s blood in her veins. He saw it, but she didn’t, in the instant before he shut off his flashlight. His hand grabbed herself, and they were running. Mabel’s toes were curled in his shoes, trying desperately not to lose them. In their aimlessness, they knocked into the sap-sticky trunk of one of the looming pines, “Climb,” Dipper breathed, practically inaudible, and without question, Mabel obeyed.

Continue to Part 7

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty Behind the Madness 04:

Catch up on previous chapters HERE

04:

"Where were you?" I'm greeted to my mum yelling as soon as I open the front door to our home. "You had me worried sick!"

"I went to get fresh air like you told me to." I admit defending myself. Maybe that was a lie and I didn't do it because she told me to but because Layla had showed up but I suppose what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

"You didn't even tell your sister where you went, you just stormed out."

It takes me a few moments to adjust from the silence that had surrounded me these past few hours to the sudden yelling from my mother but when it does I realize that she is only pissed off because she is worried. She is worried enough about me spending all my time in my room she probably almost had a heart attack when she came home to find that I wasn't there and Aaliyah hadn't known where I had gone.

"Next time at least be responsible and keep your phone with you." I only mumble a yes as she continues scowling me even though I'm not paying the slightest bit of attention to what she is saying. I learned the hard way many years ago that when your parents are yelling it's easier if you just don't speak that was it ends quicker because you don't give them reason to go on.

When she is finished telling me off she tells me to call Aaliyah for dinner. On my way up the stairs I hear my dad from the lounge room telling my mum that she should go easier on me causing me to groan. I get that he's worried and I'm glad he cares but they don't have to treat me like a cracked glass window ready to shatter if too much pressure is applied. How do they expect me to get better if they keep treating me like I'm still broken.

When I get upstairs I make my way to Aaliyah's room and speak through the door not wanting to face her just yet. She probably has a million and one questions about Layla that I really don't want to answer now. Teenage girls and their love for drama. Before I have even finished the sentence I'm walking away and back downstairs just to make sure that I don't face Aaliyah. If I go into my room she could easily follow me.

I have kind of become a professional at avoiding people. I've done it with everyone I know all summer.

If mum was confused why I had rushed down stairs she didn't say anything. The table was already set with dad seated in his usual seat, I took my seat next to him as mum served dinner.

Had Aaliyah told them about Layla? Surely she wouldn't have, and if she did then mum most likely would have been on my case about it non-stop bombarding me with a million and one questions.

Suddenly I feel regret fill my insides, I shouldn't have rushed off from Aaliyah because that would have been the perfect opportunity to have asked her whether she had mentioned anything to mum and dad.

Without realizing it I become very fidgety, tapping my hands on the table top and bouncing my leg up and down furiously, I only realize that I am doing this when my mum points it out.

"I'm just hungry?" I shrug her question off placing my hands on my thigh to take them out of sight and hopefully stop my leg from bouncing.

"Aaliyah!" My mum calls impatiently making me wonder why she doesn't call me like that when I make them wait for anything but then I remember that she hasn't yelled at me in over five months. Tonight was the first time . "The food is going cold" She adds as she takes her seat across from my dad.

"I'm coming" Aaliyah groans as she reaches the bottom step and steps into the dining room. Our eyes meet momentarily but Aaliyah shows no expression what so ever, she just takes her seat as though nothing had happened at all. Maybe that's a good sign?

Dinner go's through with the same drill as usual how was school/work? good. Anything interesting happen? no. and the rest of dinner went in silence with only the scraping of knifes against plates being heard. Family dinners used to be one of my favorite things because we used to talk and laugh like those overly happy cliche families that come off as eye rolling, but that seems like a long time ago almost like another life, even this morning felt like a life time ago.

When the thought of school crosses my mind I try to push it to the side but I can't all I remember is Arleigh, how broken and lost she looked, like she didn't belong at all. Arleigh always stood out in a way because she was so confident with herself in a way that was natural and didn't seem to occur to her but now I could feel the hate that she felt being in that building today, the way she tensed at Mitch's stupid remarks and the pathetic giggles that followed. But how could I be so hypocritical I sat there and watched the whole thing play out, I'm the reason she is like that now.

When dinner can finally be classified as 'finished' I dump my plate in the sink and rush up to my room. The first thing I notice when I walk in is that the blind is still open rolling my eyes I walk over to close it but something outside catches my attention. Aaliyah is standing outside the Axle's house holding a few disposable containers that have the extra dinner that mum had made for them as well. What interested me however was that she was talking to Arleigh and smiling, I haven't seen Aaliyah smile in so long that the scene almost looked foreign to me. A loud voice came from inside the house causing me to tense, memories of the countless nights I heard yelling coming from the house next door and knowing that I couldn't do anything about it hit me like a tsunami.

Arleigh turns around instantly and I can imagine the horrified expression on her face that took place whenever her father was mad. Aaliyah's smile falls too and she is awkwardly stepping back before Arleigh gives her a small wave and walks back into the house closing the front door behind her. Yelling starts again, It's muffled and I can't hear what is being said, if I went downstairs where my parents are most likely watching the news or whatever other program they watch on TV I wouldn't be able to hear it, but thanks to the silence in my room I hear Mr Axle's voice the way I heard it so long ago, so many nights that I have lost count.

Squinting my eyes shut I take a deep breath and close the blinds stepping away from the curtain, unlike those countless nights so long ago I can't help Arleigh in anyway that I used to, I have to sit back and pretend like nothing is happening.

***

Even more unwilling then yesterday, I make my way into the not so crowded hallway of the school entrance hall, mum had forgotten her license halfway through the drive and insisted on turning back home 'just in case' but of course we made it back to school ten minutes late without being pulled over by the cops.

A few students hovered around the halls going through their lockers or rushing to class. Without bothering to make an effort I walk to my locker and open it making sure to take my leisurely time. As I'm going through my bag making sure I have everything I need for my classes today I hear a bang and someone groan in response. Looking up I feel my stomach drop but fill with butterflies at the same time if that was even possible. Standing at her locker about ten feet away was Arleigh, the banging sound was her bag dropping to the ground and the groan had obviously been out of frustration the way she always groaned and stomped her left foot when she did something that she classified as 'stupid'.

She bends down to pick up her back pack and as she stands up our eyes meet but unlike yesterday she doesn't look away, her expression is as hard as stone as if she is telling me that I don't effect her any more but she is forgetting that I know the truth, always after a night like last night she closes herself up from the world in hopes to hide everything she was feeling from the world. A hard stone nearly impossible to crack, but I did it, I cracked the stone the way an axe cuts through a tree leaving a permanent mark.

*

"Are you avoiding me?" I ask standing right behind Arleigh. The way she jumps suddenly tells me that she thought she was alone.

I had stayed up late wondering why she walked away causing me to sleep in and be late for school, thankfully Arleigh seemed to have done the same and was late as well leaving us alone in the hallway.

"Shawn you scared me." She breathed out placing a hand over her heart as she tried to regain herself.

"So you're avoiding the question as well." Her body stiffens and she turns away back to her locker answering both of my questions.

Three days, I hadn't seen her in three days. She didn't respond to my texts or calls, nothing absolutely nothing. Three days ago Arleigh and I had been sitting at the park as we usually did but this time I couldn't hold it in anymore. The feeling I got when I was around her had gotten stronger over the time, I thought about her more often than I should have, When she spoke all I could think of was her lips and how I wanted to kiss them, her body and how I wanted it pressed against mine. I had fallen hard for Arleigh and I couldn't take the feeling of her not being mine. I told her I liked her but all she did was stare at me blankly before getting up and walking away. Being too shocked I didn't chase after her. She was always complaining about how she never got attention from guys or how she desperately wanted a boyfriend to cuddle, text, talk to about anything and everything, to hold her, I could be that guy and I wouldn't let anyone else try to be that guy. Yet she walked away.

"Arleigh talk to me!" I tried to demand but it came out more as a plead, was I really that desperate for Arleigh? Yes I guess I am. Do I care what anyone would say? Hell no I don't, even if this hallway was crowded I would still stand here and wait for her to give me the answer to the question that has been running through my mind endlessly for the past three days. Why?

There was yelling last night so I know that she is already tired, this could either work in my favor or to my disadvantage. Favor: she is too tired to fight and comes out clean. Disadvantage: she isn't in the mood and decides to be difficult.

She turns around to face me again her expression unreadable. She's biting down on her bottom lip clearly in deep thought.

"I don't get it?" She stares down at the floor and smiles but it's not a proper smile it's a grim one which means this isn't going to end well. Without looking at me or waiting for me to respond she continues. "Your popular, you could date a cheerleader, or Mitch could set you up with some girl that could give you mind blowing sex, why do you want me?"

"Really? are you going to be this cliche right now?" I ask in disbelief.

Arleigh looks up at me, sending me a piercing glare making me realize that I must have said the wrong thing.

"I don't care about popularity, that is pathetic! I don't want a cheerleader or mind blowing sex." I pause and laugh shaking my head at how cliche that sentence sounded, that is what I Shawn Peter Raul Mendes have become a stereotype trying to say anything cheesy to get the girl. "Arleigh I want you, your perfect in so many ways that you don't even realize. It took me four years to finally work up the nerve to tell you this. From the moment we became friends I knew that I wanted you in my life, now I'm being greedy, I want more of you."

Arleigh doesn't say anything for a few moments and turns away, Finally when she turns back to me and looks me in the eye. Her eyes are watery and whatever emotion she was trying to conceal was on full display now.

"Your the only person I've got Shawn, I don't want to loose you. It would kill me to wake up one morning and know that I can't turn to you when I need you most, that I wouldn't be able to open the blinds in the morning and see you standing there waving at me with that goofy grin that shouldn't be even possible to pull off that early in the morning." The tears fell freely from Arleigh's eyes which was a shock, never had I ever seen her cry not even in a movie she would excuse herself to the bathroom and cry in there. "Shawn I will have no one if something goes wrong, I can't loose you, I can't." She shook her head and bit down on her lip to stop a sob but she didn't stop crying.

Common sense finally kicked me in the butt and I lunged forward placing one hand on her waist the other cupping her face allowing my thumb to wipe away the tears falling freely down her face for the first time in public probably ever.

"Your not going to loose me, I'm not ever going to let that happen!" I tell her meaning every word.

People will tell us that we are too young and that this isn't real but I don't care. Four years, four years is more than real to me. What I feel now is real, and most of all Arleigh is real and she is right in front of me, in reach of me to grab and I'm not missing my opportunity.

Without a second thought I leaned in pressing our lips. Arleigh doesn't push me away or hesitate even for the slightest moment. she kisses me back with just as much force and passion. The feeling that fills my insides is indescribable but feels perfect for the moment and all I want to do is make it last as long as possible. I move my hand from her waist and her cheek and press them against the cold metal of the lockers behind Arleigh allowing my body to be as close to hers as possible. She is still crying but she doesn't show any sign of stopping the kiss. Instead her soft warm hands cup my cheeks causing a warm feeling against them.

Arleigh try's pulling away but I don't let her wanting the moment of pure bliss to last longer.

"Shawn I need to breath." She laughs causing me to smile like a hopeless fool at the beautiful sound.

I pull away but press my forehead to hers not wanting to be any further away from her. She had stopped crying so I brought my thumb up to her cheek and wiped the nearly dry stray tears away. Her eyes were somewhat red but she still managed to look good. In that moment I understood why Arleigh didn't wear makeup, although she never needed it.

"You are aware of how cliche this is, right?" Arleigh smiled as she mumbled against my lips.

"I'm aware of how much you loved it." She laughs and I can't help but grin at this. She doesn't disagree because it's true although she would never admit it, not even to me, she loved her cheesy high school romance.

*

The bell rings shaking me out of my daze and the first thing I notice is that Arleigh is long gone. I turn to my locker not even bothered by the fact that I missed my first class.

"You lost me." I mumble to myself before shutting my locker door and making my way to my next class keeping my head down.

[aalooran-rahman-bora]

Looking After

“I hate you, Bhaiya”. She shouted, before slamming the door of her room.

He was ready to hear that. He could take all her anger all his life, if that’s necessary for her safety. He will go, talk to her in some time. But for that moment, he went and stood before their parent’s picture. They were no more. It had been more than a decade since they had left him and her alone in this world.

They would still have been with them, if only his father had not insisted on driving back from the club that night. There was this reunion dinner at the Hill Club. Finding himself among his old friends, his father has forgotten the number of pegs he had downed. By the end of the party, he was drunk as a lord. His mother was sober. She could have safely driven them home. But she had to acquiesce to her husband’s inebriate demand. Just few metres from the club, their car went over the hill. The bodies were found days later. He had gone alone to identify the bodies. He didn’t let her see them. He wanted to protect her from that ugly memory. Since that day, she was not just his sister, but also his baby. He has learned how to be a parent of the seven-year old her.

For months, he had railed against what had happened. Their father should have been more moderate in drinking and if he had drunk so much, he should not have insisted on driving. Their mother should not have given into his petulant demands. Didn’t their parents realize that they were waiting at home for them? He never understood how they could act like that.

Today evening when her friend came to the house, he could clearly smell the alcohol on his breathes. She and her friend were planning to drive to a party in the Hill Club. She had already told him. And he was okay with that. But when the friend drove up in his car, stumbled to the door, and greeted him with strong alcoholic fumes, he asked her not to go out and asked the friend to leave. After some exchange of words, the friend swayed away. And while walking away to her room, she threw that hate you line. He could only shake his head at that.

After sometime, he knocked at her door. In between, he had rustled up some chocolate pancakes, her favourite.

“Go away, Bhaiya. I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, you don’t have to talk. But can I come in?”

He knew she would never say no to him.

After a minute’s delay, the door was opened without a word. Then his 18 year-old big baby, with her pouty face, went to her bed and sat down with her back towards him. He could not help smiling for a moment at her childlike behaviour.

After placing the plate of pancakes on a table, he went near her before speaking.

“So, you are not even going to look at me?”

She shook her head, but did not say anything.

“I did something wrong, beta?”

“How can you insult me like this before my friend, Bhaiya?”

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

At the tone of his voice, she was forced to look towards him. She had never seen him so sad, so different.

He walked up to the window in her room and looked out towards the hills. These hills have taken their parents; these hills and alcohol.

“What happened, Bhaiya?” In a moment, she was by his side.

“Nothing.”

Like always, he tried to shield her from that painful memory.

“Come, sit with me, beta.”

They sat side by side on the edge of her bed.

“Can we talk?” He asked gently.

She nodded her head.

“Will you tell me why you feel insulted?”

“You don’t trust me, Bhaiya.” Her tone was hurt rather than accusatory.

“There is no one I trust more.”

“Then why did you ask me not to go out with my friend?”

“See, beta, you already know what I think about people who drink. And you know my reason.”

For a moment, a dark feeling of loss settled in the room.

“But he’s a good guy. I have known him for so long.”

“Leaving that aside, he is going to drive while intoxicated like that. He was already stumbling while walking. How safe his driving is going to be? It was risky as hell. How can I let my kid go out on such a dangerous drive?”

“But if you’re so afraid of his driving, I could have driven.”

“No way, beta. You haven’t taken your driving exam and you don’t have a driving license. More than that, you have no experience of driving around in the hills.”

“Bhaiya, you just want me to not go out. You want to force your decisions on me.”

For a moment, a pale of sadness came over his face.

“I only want you to be safe. I just want you to be safe.”

“Sorry, Bhaiya.”

“It’s okay, beta.”

“So, should I get my Driving License?”

“Done. Tomorrow we’ll go and get your Learner’s License. Then after a month or so, we’ll get the Driver’s License.”

Only then, a smile came on her face. She was about to say something when her eyes fell on the plate of pancakes. Her smile increased manifold.

“So, we’re getting my Driver’s License. And we’re having pancakes for dinner. You’re the best brother ever, Bhaiya.”

When she hugged him, he forgot all his worries for a moment. He gently patted her head.

Next morning they went to the RTO and got her Learner’s License. She was jumping with joy. He got her her favourite Toblerone.

When they got home, she wanted to go driving.

“You can’t do that, beta. First, you have to practice. So, this evening after my office, we are going for driving lesson. Okay?”

“Done, Bhaiya. But you have to come early in the afternoon.”

“I will, beta.”

That afternoon, they went to the campus ground to practice driving. From next morning, they started going to the ground for driving practice every morning. Once she has picked up the basics of driving, they started going on roads with no or less traffic.

“Bhaiya, when can I get my real driving license?” She was getting impatient.

“Don’t be in a hurry, beta. First, you have to practice driving through heavy traffic and crowded streets. Because most of the time, you will be driving on such streets.”

After driving few days through the various streets of the city, she felt she was ready for any road. She was calm even in heavy traffic. She was careful with a sharp eye and quick reflexes. He was confident that she is ready. So, next day she went driving easily through the crowded city square. He, sitting shotgun, watched her with pride.

“There is only one more thing you need to practice, beta.”

“Now what, Bhaiya? I have practiced everything you have told me.”

“We live in the hills. So, you will be driving on the hill roads, and they are tricky. So, we’ll practice driving in the hills at different times of the day. I promise this is the last thing, beta.”

With a frown, she agreed.

For the next week, she drove through the hill roads in the morning, noon, evening, even night. He was always there. She got used to driving in the difficult narrow roads in heavy traffic and in different light conditions.

Her driving skills impressed him.

So, after a month and a half of getting her Learner’s License, she got her real driving license after easily clearing her driving test. She was ecstatic. To celebrate her achievement, they went to her favourite Chinese restaurant for lunch.

“I am proud of you, beta. You learnt to drive so quickly. You have become an expert driver.”

She could not stop smiling.

“But I need to ask something of you, beta.”

“Sure, Bhaiya.”

“You’re going to drive. But first promise me something.”

She nodded, slightly serious.

“I know you respect my feeling, so, you never drink anything even mildly alcoholic. So, driving after drinking is not even an issue. But you are not going to use a mobile phone while driving. No rush driving, no matter the reason. You’ll always follow all traffic rules. When you have to drive into an unknown area or on a difficult road, always try driving there in daylight. You promise me, beta?”

“Why are you giving me so many conditions, Bhaiya?”

“Because you’re the only family I have, beta.” His face went serious.  

“I promise, Bhaiya. I’ll always be careful.” She placed her hand on top of his.

He nodded in happiness.

“Let’s order some sizzling brownies, right beta?”

“You know me the best, Bhaiya”. She smiled wide. He did too.

[kyskingdom]

Harmonize. (First book I ever wrote. age 9)

Its quite here. There is no noise, except Gala snoring next to me. A car pulls into the drive, Gala snaps awake and growls at the noise. The person in the car is Emily, my sister. She "accidently" left her wedding ring here last time she visited. I think she just wanted a reason to come home again. Just a few weeks ago, Emily married Tom, a semi-truck driver who treats her amazing. They go everywhere together, which is why Emily needed an excuse to come home. I hear the front door open, and I hear her shoes on the floor. She knocks on my door. But walks in immediately after. So the knock was pretty pointless. Why is she In my room though? I told her where the ring was when we were on the phone earlier. I tried to make it sound like I wasnt going to be home. Its not like I dont love my sister, I just dont want to talk to her right now. I dont know why. But I don't. She stands in the door way and stares at me, I stare at the floor. "Selina, what is it?" Said Emily making her way to my side. "Nothing." Emily started poking my arm, trying to get my attention. I pretended not to feel Emily, though it was getting very annoying. "What is it? You can tell me." Oh! Wow! Yes! I'm just gonna tell you everything! "I dont know,I guess I just want to be able to support myself." I cringe, that's the best my brain can come up with? Pathetic. "What? You already support yourself." Okay, I'm getting pretty annoyed, just play along! "No I'm mean, completely support myself, like, in my own house..." That part wasnt a lie, I do want my own place. "Well, just, I don't know, just dont rush yourself." I looked up at Emily, I know why she has someone and I dont, she is stunningly pretty. I have always thought she was beautiful, her freckles around her nose, the short wavy auburn hair that hang over her shoulders. Like our mom. I dont look like them. My features are plain. I'm sometimes feel invisible, like my face has been used too many times. "Well," I said "I've gotta get to work." "You know," said Emily ,"you shouldn't be working two jobs at 19." I work one, so I correct her. "I only work one." I try to say this as serious as possible, but its hard to when Mary is such a wonderful woman. "Oh right, 'taking care of Mary isn't a job' right?" Emily said in an awful, what I would guess to be an impression of me. "Well, it isn't." I turned and grabbed my purse from the dresser, as Emily was passing me to leave. I walked out after Emily, who turned for the door, after she said goodbye to mom. My mother is wearing a scowl, one she saved for a very specific person, this cant be good. Or it might be really good! "Mary Rogers called last night, Saphy got her driving license so she'll be taking care of her now." Saphy, that little...I decide not to discuss her right now, I already know my mom hates her as much I do, so I play it off as if I'm talking about someone pleasent. "I thought Saphy was in Florida? Remember, she thought she was too good for Louisiana?" I always thought Louisiana was a great place for everyone to live, turns out, pretty-in-pink barbie dolls hate it here. "She's coming back to town, Her friends and her got in an argument, well a 'life crisis' if you ask her." Mom smiled at the 'life crisis' part, I really dont know why though. Other then to, I dont know, add something interesting to the conversation. Her and Emily talk the same way, while smiling. "Right, I need to get to work." I hugged her and headed for the door. I think about Mary on my way to work, A 98 year old woman who always insisted on me calling her 'aunt'. The first time we met, I  had about 20 cats circling my feet, all meowing, Mary came down the stairs with a little furball kitten in her hand. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen! I smiled, remembering how sweet Mary was, but the smile quickly faded. Unfortunately, everyday I have to pass the road where my dad was killed by a drunk driver, I was around 8, sitting in the back seat, singing along to the radio, when a loud screeching sound rang in my ears, then glass reflected red and blue lights on the dashboard. I pulled into the small parking lot of the restaurant I work at, it was just me and Dolores, the cook, and like 5 people that wanted a coffee refill for the road. I normally just read, but I am fresh out of books, so I need to make a deal, I go around my school and ask people for their books, with the promise that I will do the book report, but its summer, and nobody has book reports in the summer. I was brought out of my day-dream feeling my phone buzz, my mom. "hey are you busy?" Nope, just busy with my book-dealer thoughts! "Its never busy here mom." I thinks thats less of a crazy answer, right? "Right, well, Someone just called, He needs a new caretaker." He? I specificaly put on my resume 'Woman Only!' But the resume only exists in my head, and as far as I know, people cant see into my brain place, not that theyd want to, my train of thought often crashes into the Great Wall of Stupid, and repairs take a while. "Do I know him?" That was a stupid question! No, of course you dont know, you have conversations in your head like this one to avoid talking to real people! "I don't think so,his name is Brian Elderson,He just dropped outta college." College?? How old is this guy? I should make friends with him, enough money to drop out of college! "College?How old is he?" "I'd guess about 18-20." Woah, what? Why? And how? "Okay, what is wrong with him?" That sounded insensitive, but mom knows what I mean, I hope. "He was paralyzed in a car crash, I dont think hes gonna be as easy, he was one of those hard-headed and strong-going kids, and now he thinks he useless." Hmm...did she Google him or something? "How do you know all this?" "Hes one of my co-workers son." Mom dosent care for her co-workers, but I've never heard the name 'Elderson' Before. "I've never heard you talk about anyone named Elderson." "I didn't even know he existed, but he over heard Elly and I talking about you and Mary." Elly was Mary's younger sister, though they didn't talk much, Elly was still acting like she was 20, Elly and Mary still cared about each others well being. A woman just walked in the door, and headed to the back corner table. "alright I've gotta go, an alien just walked in." Mom must have understood, because she hung up, or she was afraid it wasn't me talking and someone possessed me, either way I would be happy with. I went to take the woman's order, but before I could speak, the woman said "eggs and toast." I honestly dont know what I expect. We have menus glued under the glass tables. Do people know we serve other things then eggs? I relayed it to Dolores, who was dancing in the kitchen, but stopped immediately when she saw me. "Who is it?" Asked Dolores "Dunno, but she looks rich and official." " 'Rich and official' only you could come up with that." I rolled my eyes and went back to my barstool, and stare at the counter, it has a very interesting design, but not really. Rich and official. Those were the first words that came to my mind when I looked at her, She had blazing red hair and a black jumpsuit, she reminded me of a certain book charecter. I grab the plate of food Dolores slid on the counter in front of me, interupting my disecting of the counter design, and went back to the table and offered it to the woman. I handed it to the woman and went back to the barstool, the counter isnt as interesting anymore, but I continue to stare anyway. Me and Dolores spent the next half hour peeping around the corner at the woman like cannibals, but, she never came back, and we were back to the same few customers. This place is going to go bank-rupt soon, and there is nothing I can do about it, the helpless feeling is the worst, like theres a hole in my chest that little helpless bugs lay eggs. "Well, That kinda sucks." said Dolores "Yeah, What can we do about it though?" I say like wasn't just invisioning little mosquito like bugs laying eggs inside my heart. "What we need is a fundraiser." said Dolores. "Fundraiser? Like anyones gonna buy from our bakestand when they have way better food." I said pointing down the road at our rival restaurant rival. "Who said I was talking about a bakestand?" Oh, my brain just automatically guessed a bakestand since that's what most normal people do, my mistake. "Well what were you thinking?" "Dunno, Any ideas?" Well, then I guess we're going with the cookies and a wood stand! "No, not really." I say. "Do you know anyone who might be able to lend us some money even for a paint job?" Hmm...let me think, like anyone can afford paint around here, living in a poor town! Just peachy! "Everyone I know can't even afford their own paint." "That's what happens in a poor town, right?" Oh crap! She can read minds! Take cover! All my psycho thoughts hide under the tables! "Yeah." The door opens and coffee refills walk in the door, not literally, but that's all they ordered.                               “”“ "Well, I'm checkin' out for the day." said Dolores, she says it as if I dont know that she always leaves at the same time every day. "Yep, I'll just clean up and I'm leaving too." So I headed over to the one table that woman sat at and wiped it off, there really isnt anything else to do, so I head to my car. When I walked in the door, Gala greeted me by licking my face, she was tall enough when she stood on her back feet, as I am freakishly short for someone my age. Mom came out of her bedroom, carying her purse and her phone in the other, she looked disoriented about something. "Feeling alright mom?" Mom let out a sigh, this cant be good, she uselly only wears that face when somethings wrong, or she had a bad day at work, but thats pretty much the same thing. "Mary" She says. Mary what? Is she okay? "Is she okay?" "Kind of, she had a heart attack last night, the hospital just released her this morning to a nursing home." "They probably should have released her yet, right?" "No, they shouldn't have, but they dont think she has too much longer to live" Her voice wobbles at the end of her sentence, Even though Mary was old, she was still very close my mom and I, so losing her would be purely awful. "We're going to see her, right?" I dont know why I said that, we are obviously going to see her. "You think I'm gonna leave her by herself?" I feel worse with my mothers reply, it was rather harsh, so I know she is worried. "Your right,that was a stupid question" I followed her quietly to her car. She turned the key, it cranked and cranked, but didnt start. "We'll take my car." I say after mom gave up, the battery has been needing jumped every day for a while, and company's wont lower the flipping price of car batterys! It was a quiet and awkward ride, the home was about an hour away, sometimes its nice to just get in tje car and ride, with no plan as to where you re going, or what your even doing. But this is not a relaxing ride, Mary is laying in a hospital bed, probably not feeling too good, and she likes to talk to anyone and everyone, but shes probably by herself right now. Sometimes we can pull a radio signal, so I try, but I regret it. 'Deeper than The Holler' came on, it was mom and Dads song when they were in high school. Tears were swelling up in moms eyes, tears like a blade piercing my heart, slow and painful. I turned it off, I miss him too much, and its not safe to drive for my mom to drive with blurry vision. I clear my throat. "I'm sorry." Tears roll down my face as I choke on the words. "Sometimes," mom says "we need to let go, and get over the past, to be able to live in the present." She reached forward and turned the radio back up. I can't believe she just did that. The song that brought back so many memories, them dancing in the living room every time time it came on, their wedding song. She turned it back on. After my heart was drained of anything happy, she had the strength to turn it back on. She knew him better then I did. She went on trucking trips with him, he was a trucker. After Emily was born, Mom ha to stay home, every once in a while she would go with him. After I was born, she went with him even fewer places. Then Dylyla came along, Mom couldnt go at all. Dylyla doesnt even live with us anymore, she lives with Grandma. It really makes me mad when I think of it, mom wanted her to get her grades up, or she was going to make her take a break from cheerleading. Dylyla hated mom after that, but Grandma didnt help at all, she said Dylyla could live with her and not worry about education.                                “”“ One of the home workers led us to Mary's room. I followed mom and Alice, the worker, down a brown hallway, it smells like a Bingo room, anything that smelled nice before, was now overpowered by cheap perfume. Alice left us at the doorway, Mom headed in first. "How are you?" Mom asked, I just hovered around the end of the bed, like a bee unsure of itself, that is what I am, always unsure, of everything. Thats the thing about life, you may think its certain, but I've learned that it never is, its always changing, just like the tide, the whales are so sure they won't be beached, yet they still are. I realize mom and Mary are deep in conversation, I dont really hear it though. Finally, Mary looks away from Mom. "Well don't act like a stranger! Get over here!" I smile, makeing my way to hug her, she is always so happy. "Oh I missed you! That girl does nothing but chatter on her darn ol'phone!" I feel bad, I didn't realize that it had been so long since Saphy has been taking care of her, well, only two days, but still. I used to think your heart couldn't actually feel anything, it was just you telling yourself it could, but I was wrong. I walk over to chair in the corner of the room and sit down. I am not, will not, cry, not here, not for Mary to see. I feel the pain, the pain people talk about. The heartbreak. I didnt think it was possible, but it is. I dont want it to be, but it is, and there's nothing I can do. The door to the room is still open, I decide to close it, but as I do, I see a little girl, 10 maybe. She is crying. I can only imagine what for, but it can't be good. As quiet as I can, I make my way back to the chair, trying not to interupt the conversation they are back into. I can't feel anything. If I let any feelings in, they will all crumble. I straighten in my chair, put on a face, and push every feeling out, every last one. It worked, I have been trying it a lot lately, and it works now.                                ”“”“” I woke up at 4:00 the next morning. I dont need to be at work for another hour, but I decided to go in early. I dont think I can talk to Mom right now, she'll just try to comfort me, and words arent what I need right now, words are powerful, but not as powerful as a hug, or a day in the rain with a good book. I got out of bed and looked in the mirror, my cheeks are still blotchy from last night, I layed in bed and cried myself to sleep. It is very obvious now. I throw on some makeup, just concealer to cover up the redness. Very quietly let Gala outside, I dont want to wake mom, she has the day off. Once Gala is back in, I lead her back to moms room and close the door.                                  ”“”“ As I pull around the corner to the restaurant parking lot, I notice how bland it looks. It kind of hides. It definitely needs an update. I make a quick turn to the dollar store, I know they have like tablecloths and stuff, but I dont know what to do for the outside.                                ”“”“ There are now tablecloths for all the tables, curtains hanging on the outside of the windows, it actually looks really nice. I also bouhht one of those door frame floral tapestry things. Dolores pulls in as I put on some coffee. "Well, well, Somebody's been doing some shopping!" Said Dolores as she came in the door. "Do you like it?" I ask "Yes! It looks so much better, I thought the place had been demolished and rebuilt!" "It doesnt look that different." In fact, it hardly looks different at all. But it is more noticeable, which is what I was going for. Noticeable, but not in your face, like the place down the road. Dolores went back out to her car, she fumbled around for a long time, then re-entered with a bundle of wires and metal. "Its a radio." she announced like it was gold. "Where did you get that?" "I uh, acquired it." I smile. "You didnt steal it, did you?" I ask raising my eyebrows. "No! Well, maybe, my Ex's truck quit running so I ripped this thing out before we broke up." "And you kept it?" I ask. "Of course I kept it! I also kept his 50 inch TV he just had to have!" She scowls, I knew she hated him, but not that much. She looks at me and lifts a finger to point at me. "Dont you dare say 'I told you so'!" "Well, if you had listened-" I smile and bite my lip at her face, like A warning from an angry toddler. I'm trying so hard to hold in a laugh that I almost choke. "Stop! Its not funny!" Dolores exclaims. "You're right, its not funny. Not one bit." Then we both laugh. After a while, it turns into us doubled over with our mouths open like sick walruses. There no audible laughs. I can only imagine what we look like right now. Crap. Someone just came in the door, Dolores walks to the stove, hiding behind the wall, but I can still hear her laughing. I take a deep breath and walk over to the guys table. "What so funny?" He asks with a smile. "Actually," I say "I dont even know!" "One of those things, eh?" He says. "Yes. What would you like today?" "Eggs and coffee." He says. I walk to the coffee pot and pour a cup. When I go back to the table, he asks if I know his sister. "Whos your sister?" I ask, I already know I don't know her, but I dont what him to think I can read minds or do crazy crap like that. "Jane Brown" he says with a kind of longing in his eyes. "No, I don't think so." I know so, but he doesn't look too happy right now, nor does he look like he had a good relationship with her, since he hasnt looked up from his coffee. "Nah, I didn't figure, ain't nobody seen 'er." His eyes actually have tears in them. Should I sit down and comfort him? She I leave him to his feelings? I decide to pull out a chair and sit down, I still dont know if its a good call. "What does she look like?" I ask. "Hang on." he says as he fumbles in his pocket for his phone. He shows me a picture of a girl with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. "We weren't very close when we were kids, but just as we worked out our issues, she was gone." he says, his eyes not really focused on anything. "And did she she say where she was going?" "Oh, I know where she went, but she aint in good shape." I feel like I shouldnt ask any more, so I dont but soon he is deep in his story of his sister, how she got in an unhealthy relationship, and the guy "poisened her brain" And that she wouldnt be coming back anytime soon. And that he was hoping she would come back home soon. As he talks, I notice green flecks in his blue eyes. I look away from his eyes as I realize that I shouldnt be looking at a stranger that way. But he does look to be around my age. Stop thinking like that! I tell myself, but I dont listen. After he was finished talking, I say "You know, my little sister is like that, expects to have the world handed to her. She lives with my grandma now" He looks at me and smiles, a smile he has probably practiced in the mirror. "Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?" He asks, still smiling. Heat rushes through my cheeks. I tuck my hair behimd my ear, hoping he doesnt notice how red my cheeks are. "No, why?" I shift in my chair. Yes, sitting down was the right choice. He laughs, a small laugh, but it sends a chill through my stomach. "I think you know why." He says. Now, the chill turns into a sickening feeling. I'm being called pretty by a stranger. Kind of creepy, ain't it? Dolores hollers around the corner. "Eggs and coffee on the love boat." I look back at him as I walk to get the plate, surprised to see him looking at me. "Thanks for that." I hiss at Dolores, who looks very pleased with herself. As I set the plate at his table, he looks at me, I'm not sure what to do, and I'm getting a little uncomfortable, I've never had an experience like this before. "I'm John, by the way." "Selina." I say and walk back to the kitchen and hide behind the wall. Dolores is plugging in the radio. I walk up behind her. "Dont you dare turn that on!" She looks up and smiles. "Why not?" She asks innocently. "Because the only station we can pull in is a love song station, and I know what you'll do!" "Okay, you dont have to lecture me!" "Okay, just...don't do anything." I walk over to a cormer amd lean up against the wall, I close my eyes.                               ”“”“” When I hear the bell above the door ring, I walk to clean up the table. I find a napkin with a phone number on it. I look behind me to make sure Dolores isnt watching, and shove the napkin in my pocket. I try to fight my smile, but I can't, so I just bite my lip to try to conceal it. I carry the plate and bill back and set them on the counter. I'll deal with it later. "Did he leave his number on the bill?" Dolores asks. "No," it isn't a lie, because it wasnt on tje bill. "And never will, so will you just knock it off?" "Ha! Not a chance." She answers. "Besides," she says "you could use some pointers." "Pointers? From the girl that just stole her Ex's radio?" "Hey! After 5 years of dealing with his crap, I think I have a right to a radio that was going in the dump anyway." I roll my eyes at her. I really wish I had a book that I could hide behind right now. Sadly, I still dont have any deals. Dolores is pulling out a small bag from her other huge bag. "How many bags do you have in one bag?" I ask. "7." She answers like its not obscure to carry around more than one huge bag. "What is that one for?" I ask. She pulled out a glittery purple one and set it on the counter. "If you want to make a good impression," She says. "For who?" I interrupt, I know who, and what, she means, but I'm never gonna even see him again anyway. "You know. The one you were just swooning over." "No," I say "I'm am not participating in your little plan here. Besides, you know how many girls he probably leaves his number to? Too many for me to care." She scans me like a lie-detector. But I'm not lying, I dont really want to be seeing someone who goes into random resteraunts and talks about his personal life to some waitress. I feel like I'm lying. But I'm not. Am I? No. Really though, who goes and tells a stranger about their psycho sister? Probably someone who will tell anyone anything, even if its none of their business. "Fine," Dolores says. "If you dont want a little romamce in your life, that's your choice." She says as she puts all her bags back in her bag. "That wasnt romance," I say, "That was a guy complaining about his sister. What's 'Romantic' about that?" She shrugs her shoulders. "I dont know, maybe because he chose you to talk to." "He didnt 'choose' me! Besides, if you would have went over there, he would have talked to you." "Okay then! Tomorrow, when he comes back, I will go wait on him, see what he says then." "You just do that," I say, sitting down on the barstool. "And good luck, because he wont be back." "Right." Dolores mumbles. But, I dont know what shes planning, because he aint gonna be back. Chapter 2 I get back in my car, and let out a sigh. I had a meeting with the Eldersons, I guess they wanted to see how I was, no one has ever wanted a visit before. Its refreshing to finally smell fresh air. The air in the house was full of air fresheners, I would almost bet that it smelled better without all the fragrances. They were pretty nice, I guess. Emma, Brians mom, asked me things like what I have in mind for my future amd small-talk like that. But nothing really related to care-giver work. Maybe she was just testing me. She is leaving her son with me, after all.                                  “”“” When I get home, Mom is popping popcorn on the microwave. Gala is at her feet begging. "Gala! You user puppy!" I say as I bend down to pet her. "I figured we could use a movie night" Mom says as she piches the popcorn bag and puts it all in one big bowl. "We havent done that since Dylyla left." "No, we haven't, and since its just you and me, you can pick the movie." "You say that like you dont know what I will pick." My mom knows I have two favorite movies. That is one thing I told her. "Hm. Half-Blood Prince, or Divergent?" She asks. That is a hard choice, its been a while for both. "Which would you rather watch?" I ask "I cant make up my mind." She smiles, I already know what shes going to pick. "Harry Potter, Baby!" She says.                                 ““”“ I wake up tired. We ended up watching all 8 Harry Potter movies, and all 3 Divergent Movies. We probably should have gone to bed earlier, but, we you are handed movies like that, theres no telling how long you'll be awake. We probably should have waited for the weekend. We both have to work today, and Emma wants to meet "Privatly without the family." I don't know what that's about, but I imagine since Colin, her youngest son, was being pretty distracting, she wants a more focused setting. We are meeting at a park at 3:00, but I dont get off until 4:00, so I'll have to talk to Dolores. She'll probably cover for me, not that it matters, no one is ever there. I slept through my alarm, so I hurry and dress, then run through the house like a ninja finding food.                                 ”“” When I get there, Dolores is already there. Normally, I'm here way before she is. "Is everything alright?" She asks when I come in the door. "Yeah, Mom and I stayed up until 3:00 in the morning." I say as I tie on my apron. "Why in the world would you do that?" She asks. "Oh, you know, Harry Potter." I answer, smiling. "Ah, I see. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. Did you get a call last night?" She asks. I look at her questoningly. "What do you mean?" I ask. I feel clueless, like I should known what shes talking about. "Wow, you really must have missed a lot of sleep." She says. "I'm sorry, I'm not following you." I say. "Obviously! I'm talking about flirty-pants." I roll my eyes at her. She needs to drop it. "Will you please stop! This isnt some Insta-romance story. So knock it off, I already told you, hes probably some creeper. I'm not even looking for a relationship." I say to clear things up. I guess she took the hint because she just shook her head, but didnt say anything. I stay on the barstool for a while, but after a little bit, these seats get really uncomfortable. I go over to a booth and lay down. Before I know it I'm asleep, not remembering my last thought. I'm awoken by music blaring from the kitchen. Dolores must have gotten the radio working. I sit up, involuntarily groaning. I walk over to the kitchen, rubbing sleep from my eyes, and turn off the radio. Dolores comes out of the bathroom. "Why did you shut it off? And why do you look like a zombie?" She asks, but all I can do is glare at here. My mouth wont form words right now. I go back to the booth, but don't lay down, instead I stare out the window, wondering if penguins have knees. Soon, cars and people and bikes going by are just blures of color. I dont even her Dolores when she walks over. I dont notice until she blocks my view. "Here." She throws my phone into my lap. I pick it up, there a million texts from my mom, and a few missed calls. 'are you ok?' 'why arent you answering?' 'seriously, reply!' I keep scrolling, more of the same. Her texts look panicky, I immediately think the worst. Then I see the first text. 'hey sweety, she passed away, I'm sorry.' I can't see anything. My vision is blurry with tears. I feel Dolores' hand on my arm. An attempt at comfort, but we both know shes not good at it. I stare at my hands, this time, I'm going to let my tears come. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone, and I was not there for her. I wasnt there. And now shes gone. Gone. The word repeats in my head, as if on a broken record. It won't leave. It wont stop. And neither will the tears. Maybe she is in a better place. Maybe shes up there with her Mom, her Dad, her brother. I lean forward and put my head in my hands. I feel Dolores rubbing my back. She met her. Once. I feel like a wimp. Sitting here, crying. Its not who I am. But then again, who am I? I don't know. Not anymore. We should have visited her last night. Instead of watching movies. We should have. I cant think straight right now. What did I do after Dad died? I don't know. I dont remember. Not now. But I went through it once before I look at Dolores. She has a small tear in her eyes. More from sympathy, it looks like. "You can go home." She says before I can even ask. I lean over and side hug her. Sniff, and shove my phone in my pocket. I take off my apron and hang it on the hook. I walk out to my car. Crank the engine, and pull out. I feel numb. Too numb. I feel like I should be feeling something. Other than a blade in my chest. That's it. That's all I can feel.                                ““”“ When I get home, Gala is ready to lick my tears away. I sit down on the floor, and Gala and I stare into each others eyes, for a long time. Sometimes, I think animals understand things better then humans. Animals will put aside everything they have wrong. Humans are wrapped up in their own problems, that they wont put aside. Animals are truly a blessing. I feel bad for the unfortunate souls that dont like animals. The wall phone rings. I get up and check my voice to make sure it will work. "Hello?" "Hello, this is Emma, are we still meeting?" "Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I forgot, I'll be on my way! I'm so sorry." "Don't worry about it, I heard what happened." "Y-you did? From who?" I try to sound curious, not demanding. I dont know if it worked. "Oh, your mother told me this morning." "Oh, ok, I'm on my way." I hang up and run to the mirror. Blotches. Of course. I put on more makeup. Grab my purse. I'm out the door before I realize. Emma is already sitting on a park bench, holding a book, as gentle as if it could crumble in her finger tips. She looks beautiful with her hair blowing around. Her son definatly looks more like her than his dad. I step out of the car, Emma hears the car door shut, she carefully sets the book on top of her purse, when I get closer, I realize its a journal. "Hello!" She starts walking towards me, I'm walking toward her, I'm feeling very awkward, should I stop walking? I'm taken by surprise when she hugs me, as if we are long lost friends. Lost. The word rings in my head and I think of Mary. No. I wont think of her right now. Too late. My eyes are watery. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened." Emma says with a sorrowful look on her face. She's a nice woman. I've met her once, briefly. And she is already pitiful for me. I don't think that is normal. But maybe Ive never met a truly nice person before. Maybe I have. I dont remember them if I have, but I remember all the rude people who will shove me out of the way at the grocery store. Or flip me off in traffic. Or the man who killed my father. I will always remember his face. Permanently etched in my brain. People can't forget something when it affected them so badly. Thats not how the mind works, unfortunately. It would be wonderful if I could just tell myself to forget something. I would be much happier. Or would I? Maybe. Maybe not. "Well, at least shes in a better place now." I say. My eyes flick up to the sky. I hope thats where she is. I look down and stare at my shoes. Emma goes and sits on the bench. She moves her purse and beckons for me to sit. I walk over. Awkwardly. The bench is short, so we're only about a half an inch apart. I bring my shoulders forward to keep from brushing her. I dont know why though. I just feel uncomfortable. "I would like to ask you something." Emma says, "I hope these questions arent too annoying for you, I'm just a curious person." I look up at her and shake my head. "No, youre fine, I understand, I mean, you are leaving your son with me." I flash a quick smile at her. "Ok then!" She says. "Why did you choose to become a care giver at such a young age?" She lowers her voice towards the end of her sentence. I decide to give her the truth. Though I've never actually told anyone. They ask. But I just tell them I like helping people. "I watched both my Dad and my Grandpa die. It was hard. But I figured I could lie and wollow in my self pity, or I could help other people going through the same thing they did." I shrug. I want it to sound casual. But how casual is talking about your dead relatives to a stranger? She rubs my arm, like I'm her daughter, or younger sister. She seems like she could put aside her problems, or maybe she already has. I dont know. I dont know a lot these days. I dont know her, but shes nice. I dont know Brian, but he looks like her. I dont know Colin, but he's a good kid. I dont know my little sister, but I miss her. I dont know. I dont know. It rings over and over and over in my head. I want all of this to stop. I want everything to go black so I can curl up and forget everything. I want it to stop. How? How can it stop, when its real? "I know how youre feeling." Emma says. How? How could anyone know what I'm thinking, when we're all so different? Maybe we aren't different at all. Beating heart. Breathing lungs. Blinking eyes. Its all the same. Or is it? I'm questioning everything I know. Why? Because I'm not sure anyone knows for sure. Maybe they do. Right now, I vow to never think anything is certain. Even if I want to. "You do?" I ask. I'm still staring at the grass. I didnt even realize. But I dont look at something else. Maybe I'm being rude. "Yes. I went through the same thing when I lost my baby. I wanted to give up on everything. And everyone. I just wanted to curl up in a ditch and think of nothing. But I finally realized that there is so much around me. Everything is so much more then meets the eye." She looks around at the trees, the cars, and the children playing. Then I realize, the trees look like theyre swaying in the wind. But they're producing oxygen, they're housing insects amd lives smaller then we can see. The cars look like theyre driving themselves. There is someone inside, giving instructions to an engine that moves everything else. The children look like they're just sliding down slides. But theyre pretending to be superheroes, gliding through the sky like birds. How could I be so narrow-minded? There is too much worth remembering to just give up. I was focusing on the negative. When there is way more positive I could have been thinking of. "Yeah, sometimes I forget that." I say. "Not just you, I think everyone forgets it occasionally. Nothing to worry about, just something to be aware of." She reaches down and puts the journal back onto her purse, which just slid off. "Can I ask you something?" I ask. "You just did, didnt you?" She says smiling. I smile back. Like I'm with an old best friend. I feel comfortable enough to go ahead and ask. "Whos journal is that?" I ask pointing at the old book. The thread is fraying at the spine. It still smells like leather. Like its been in a box for years. "Its my moms. I found it a few years after she died. But I just now got the guts to read it. Im glad I did. I'm learning alot from my 14 year old mom." She looks at me quizingly. I feel like she is going to ask me something I wont know how to answer. "How is your relationship with your mom?" I knew it. I frickin foretold that! "Well, I mean. Its good, I guess." I feel like an idiot. I love my mom. But is that enough? I dont know. When I listen to music, they say love is the most powerful thing ever. But is love alone enough? It doesnt seem like it, but then again, what more could you give? I don't know. "I guess it isnt perfect. But I love her. Is love enough?" I ask. She seems wise and honest, I'm quickly comfortable around her. Even more then with Dolores. But Dolores seems always pre-occupied with her own thoughts, Emma isn't. I dont know how she does it. "Well, the feeling of love is enough, but just saying 'I love you' is not enough. You have to show that someone what they mean. You cant just tell them. They have to feel it. It sounds cliche. And probably overused, but its overused because its true. Why would anyone say it over and over if it isnt true? They wouldn't. Or theyre just good at acting." She says. Yes, very wise. But why use the word acting? Instead of lying? "Isnt acting and lying the same thing?" I ask. "No, not necessarily. Lying is making something up, just to see how it works. Acting is believing that something is false, but somewhere in them, they might just believe that its true, or vice-versa, depending on how you look at it." That answer is satisfying enough. But I have one more that is buzzing in the back of my head. "Do you believe that everyone is unique? Or that we are all the same?" I ask. I should be asking these questions to my mom, but I'm not. "Well, what I believe is very complex. Yes, I believe we are all unique. But I also believe we are connected by some invisible line. The same line that allows us to feel someone staring at us from yards away." She says. I wonder what school she went to that teaches this stuff. Or did she learn it on her own. "Where did you learn all this stuff?" I ask, calmly, not demanding, or insistent, just curiously. "That's the thing, I dont know any of this for sure, but its things I've thought about while sitting in silence." She looks at me quizingly again. "Do you listen to music, Selina?" She asks. Again, I'm going to answer honestly, I feel like I'm getting an honest overdose. This is the most honest I've been in years. "Yes, like when its quiet. I dont like to be alone with my own thoughts." I lean forward and pick up the blade of grass that I was staring at previously and start folding and ripping it. "Sometimes, we can learn from our thoughts. Sometimes, its better to be in quiet. Music is great too! But sometimes, say 15 minutes a day, we should be in silence." She says. We are again deep in conversations, about beliefs, wonders, and everything between. For a minute, I forget about my griefs. But grieving is useless. What good does it do anyway? Besides allow you to feel sorry for yourself? It does nothing besides that, at least in my experience with it. It might work for other people, to maybe let go of something. But is that really grief? I dont think so. Maybe it is. Who knows for certain? How many certain things are there really? I make a mental list. God. Family. Hope. Faith. Gravity. Oxygen. ?. Thats all I can think of. Maybe Love? No. Love could be a lie. This is a list of completely certain things. Yes, I love my mom, but thats what family is. So love is not included in this list. Is that a good or a bad thing?                                 ”“” I'm back home. Emma and I talked until sunset. I still don't know what the purpose was in her mind. But I'm glad we met. I feel like a veil has been lifted. One that was blurring my vision of the world. I dont think I should base my thoughts off of what one person says. But, its a start. I should ask what other people think of the world. I make another mental list. Mom. Dolores. Emily. Dylyla. Yes, I will ask Dylyla, I want her back home. I miss her. But I won't grieve. Its useless. Maybe I will. I'll count to 10, let the grieve come in. Then push it out. 1 2 3 Why? 4 How? 5 Why? 6 What is this pain? 7 Is it my fault? 8 Will I really see them again? 9 What if I don't? 10 I let out an internal scream. Then its gone. Its gone! I will do this every time. I feel light. Like a feather. A feather that attached to a bird. A bird that is very intelligent. A bird that is hungry, but full at the same time. That is a very conflicting idea. But it makes sense to me. And that's all that matters, right? As long as I understand what one person means, my life is not wasted. Even if that one person is myself, or Emma, or Mom, or Emily, or even a stranger on the street. Thats what I believe. Is it though? Is that what I really believe? Yes, it is. And I need to stop questioning myself so much. I need to stop a lot of things. But right now, I'm focusing on, well, focusing. I need to really look at the world. Then I will really look at myself. I will fix what I need to fix. But if its fine, why fix it? Why not improve it? Yes, that sounds good. That's what I will keep in the back of my mind. Like a sticky note on the walls of my mind, I will write it big enough to see from anywhere in my mind. I pretend I'm ripping all the other notes on the wall away. The notes that don't matter. "Grief" "Self-pitty" "Why?" I keep ripping. And I rip them all away. There are only a few left. "Famliy" "Hope" "Faith" "Learning" "Realizing" Those are the only good notes I made. I will add more to my mind-walls soon. As soon I learn more, as soon as I get my family back together, as soon as I find hope again, as soon as I find faith, as soon as I realize how amazing this world actually is. Until then, this is all that matters. I crawl into bed. I'm asleep immediately.

[cyberdelusionphilosopher-blog]

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

"Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

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So i just started to drive and i have not that much money to spare for my car insurance.My question is that i have used many comparing sites,but i know that i can possibly get the car insurance quote i am getting much cheaper! What ideas do you have other than comparing site's that can save me money on insuring my car?""

Temporary test-drive car insurance for under 21s?

I am 19 years old and have just passed my driving test. I would like to buy my own little car now, but it's my understanding that I have to have insurance to test drive a car. Obviously there is little point in buying a year's worth of insurance for a car that i might not buy, but I'm struggling to find a company that offers 24 hour cover for young drivers, under the age of about 23. Any suggestions?? Do you know any companies that do provide cover for young divers?? I really don't want to have to buy a car without test-driving it, but I also don't want to wait 4 years. :(""

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

A question about car insurance.?

My girlfriend hit a small deer about 6 months ago, it did not do much damage, I called the insurance company and asked them what to do, they asked me what it did and then told me it probably was not worth it since she we have a 500 dollar deductible. Well today I took it in and got the oil changed and asked how much the headlamp was to fix so they looked at the car and told me that deer did about 1500 in damage. Is there anything I can do or am i screwed?""

How much will my auto insurance rate go up after an acciedent?

i have lieability insurance and pay 55 a month

Car Insurance!?

I am planning to buy a used 1992 Honda Prelude for $2,700.00. How does the insurance work? Does the price of the car that I paid or the retail price, plays as a factor of how much I would have to pay monthly for insurance. What insurance company would be the best for a new driver with her G2 only? Does anybody have an idea of how much it will cost me (approximately monthly) for the insurance? What other fees or cost will I have to pay for?""

Are States legally allowed to require car insurance?

Can the State legally mandate that citizens buy insurance from consumer agencies that have little to no regulation of price and guaranteed service? Can we consider this question with ...show more

Can i stay on my parents health insurance after i am 18 and not a full time student?

I am 17 years old, I will be 18 in september. I just graduated high school and decided not to pursue a higher education at this time. I have heard with the obama health care plan that i can stay on my parents health insurance until i am 26. But i have also heard this doesn't take place until 2014. And i Have heard that you have to be a full time student. So i would like a simple answer that's easy to understand, preferably with a sited source for me to look up. Will i lose my health insurance in 2010 if i am not a full time college student and over the age of 18??? I live in california if that makes any difference as far as the health care plans go. Thanks and appreciate it :)""

Could someone tell me how to get a speeding ticket reduced?

Hi. I got pulled today. It is my first ticket and the first time I have ever been pulled. I was going 47 in a 25. I thought that the speed limit was 35 becasue everywhere else around the place I was pulled is 35. I have no problem paying the fine of $222 I would just like to know if anyone could walk me through the process of getting the violation lessend so that it will not be put on my license. Any help that someone could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Where to have my car insurance?

My insurance is up for renewal soon and I have a little dilemma. 4 days a week I work away from home living with realatives close to my job and the other 3 days I am at home. not the best situation but as I can't take my kids out of school I have to go where the work is. Now If I insure my car at my realtives address it is 200 cheaper then at my family home but can I legally insure my car away from the family home.

Whats the cheapest auto insurance in NJ?

Whats the cheapest auto insurance in NJ?

Can my License Plates be suspended under the mandatory insurance law even if I did not drive the car?

My sister was arressted for driving my car with no insurance and now my plates are suspended. I thought it was only if you were driving your own car they would suspend it? Help!

Homeowners insurance?

Last night while at my girls house I slipped in mossy stairs and broke my ankle. I need surgery now. I was wondering is her landlord responsible for this? I don't have health insurance and I need my **** paid for. I don't want to sue i just want his insurance to cover me.. do they cover stuff like this and how does this thing work

Best insurance companies for 17 year old passed my test!!?

ok ive pased my test a month on friday and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 17 year old have and who is it with, please :)""

Question about Car Insurance?

I don't know if it's possible to get an answer from you guys, but it's worth a try! I have State Farm insurance, and I'm going to be driving a 2006 Hyundai Sonata, and i'm 16 years old. It's black, & I make pretty good grades, 3.5 is my avg (I heard that mattered) I was just wondering how much it would be per month! If you have any help, that would be great! Thanks :)""

Would the auto insurance still liable?

I was involved in a car accident and I was hit by a guy who ran a red light. A policeman was a witness to the accident and the report states that it was the guys fault. After a couple of weeks his insurance which was under his mom is stating that he was not listed as a driver on the policy so they are not liable for damages. My question is are they still liable for this negligence. I would really appreciate some help. The guy is still driving and I have been without a car for 2 weeks.

Can anybody give a good estimate on how much my insurance would be for me driving a 2002 ford mustang?

Im 16 years old and i'm a girl if that matters. My mom will not let me get one but I really want that to be my first car. Also can you give me some ideas to convince her to let me get it. I really need the actual price of how much the insurance would be.

Around how much would classic car insurance be for a 1985 chevy silverado 350 V8?

Around how much would classic car insurance be for a 1985 chevy silverado 350 V8?

Car insurance am I covered?

My 5yr old son got in driver seat and mashed my gas and held it and it blew up my engine.I have full coverage and wondered would this be covered.I know it sounds dumb but its gonna cost me over 3k to fix.

Can I get cheaper insurance while my vehicle is in storage?

I'm going to be out of the country for a while, and am putting my car in an auto storage place. But since I'm keeping it registered and leaving the plates on it, I have to maintain insurance. Do any insurance companies offer cheaper insurance or a special type of insurance that I can put on there, since I wont be driving the vehicle? This is because I'm deploying to Iraq, btw.""

""Car accident, insurance coverage, process?""

I had an accident with another car on the highway, road condition was icy. I traveled with 46-50 miles/hour, kept the car in my lane, followed the cars with normal distance. The other car - one lane or two lanes to the right of me hit an icy spot and crashed into the right side of my car at the door and partially the right fender. I had no damage in the front side of my car, but the front of the other car is damaged substantially. First she admitted that she hit an icy spot, but gave the police another untrue statement about the accident. No tickets were issued by the police. We both have full insurance coverage. The damages on both cars clearly indicates, that her spinning car caused the crash. I already contacted my insurance company. Is there a chance that the insurance companies will be able to work this out and her insurance company will pay for the repair on both cars? Therefore, I will not have to pay my deductible amount? Can the ins. co. override her statement if the independent investigation indicates that her car caused the accident ? Thanks for your answer.""

How would would car insurance be for a new driver in Rhode Island?

The car i'm getting is a pontiac grand prix, its older like 94 I think. I got my licence a few months ago, but i'm 20 years old. I haven't taken any driving classes or anything like that though. I'm just wondering if anyone knows about how much it would be so I know beforehand.""

Price of insurance on a scooter for a 17 year old?

Ive been looking at a Pulse Lightspeed 2 125cc Sports Scooter Automatic Twist and Go, is it a good first scooter for a 17 year old and how much is the insurance around. If not a good scooter could you give some examples of good ones in the comments.""

Which car Insurance do you recommend?

The cheapest, but also good at the same time.""

What is the best occupation to have to get cheap car insurance?

I'm paying the same amount as my car is worth to insure it. I''m old enough to not be a boy racer in a baceball cap and young enough to not be an old duffer in a flat cap .

Fire insurance in south florida?

I know I will never be able to afford full house insurance in south Florida. But I would like just fire insurance. any ideas? thanks

Auto Insurance In California : how far goes the liability?

I am french and don't know anything about auto insurance in the US. I just received my driver license 2 months ago and a very old bettle (1973, value < 1500$) as first car. I never drive before (even in France), I have a clean record. How work the liability here? Let's say it's not my fault but I crash in a schoolbus and 3 childrens will need medical treatment for the rest of their life because of me. Who will pay for it? And what if it's my fault? [ In France, we have something called civil responsability that will pay for that. It's automatically included in every car insurance. ] I am also browsing the net for cheap but good insurance. I want it cheap because the car is worth nothing. But I want it good because i am a young (no experience) driver. Any tips and links to some websites are welcome. Thank you very much.""

Best insurance company for full coverage?

What's the best insurance company that's pretty affordable?? I am financing a Toyota Camry (new) and need full coverage. I have a DUI on my record but have my license. I'm 21. =\

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Which is the best insurance company for motorcycle insurance?

I have honda aero motorcycle 750 cc.. may i know which is the best company to go with????? Thanks

Which insurance can my family get for this?

My sister is severely schizophrenic, and my mother is the only one in the family willing to deal with (ahem, work with...) her. However, my mother has HIV and stomach cancer, so we don't really know when she's going to die, but we're taking every precaution in the meantime. Which insurance can our family (my siblings and I. Our father is deceased.) get to ensure that my severely schizophrenic sister receives 24/7 inpatient medical care when my mother dies? We live in California, if that makes a difference. (and *don't* even bother with take classes and learn how to live with her. We all have our own lives, we've all decided she needs to be hospitalised permanently.) If there are no insurance plans that can ensure this, about how much would it cost to have her admitted and her care maintained? (An amount please, not just a whole lot .) Thanks. C=""

Car insurance question?

To cancel car insurance will be 480 plus 50 admin fee to cancel this now ive lost my job. ive had insurance for 2 months and know they are all doing this cancellation fee now but i only got a car for work purposes and now they've made me redundant how i am expected to pay the 530? what can i do is there any options because i simply cant afford that amount.

Car insurance spouse dui?

how can i get affordable car insurance after my spouse has DUI ? What if he choses to never get a license again? Do I have to kick him out so I can afford car insurance? I have a great driving record. HELP !!!!!!

""When you have a car accident and you are at fault and pay through your insurance, by how much will your All?

By how much will you All State insurance premium raise.

Tickets & Insurance Question?

I drive a 2000 Camry the insurance is in my aunts name........ So my question is if i got a ticket will the rates go up? If the insurance on the vehicle i drive is in her name will the rates go up if i get a ticket? Her name is also on the title of the car

Pregnancy Health Insurance??!?

I just moved to California a week ago and I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with no health insurance. Ive made a few calls and tried to look at all of my options but I want to take the best route, especially since I need to have my next appointment very soon to find out the sex of the baby and how everything is going......advice?!!""

Car Rental Insurance?

Liability Insurance Supplement 11.95 USD Loss Damage Waiver 19.99 USD Personal Accident Insurance / Personal Effects Coverage 5.95 USD Which ones are really needed? We won't be carrying any luggage. We are only driving from San Antono to the coast and back for business. One day trip.

Which insurance company is the cheapest?

i live in ontario canada and i wanna know which company has the cheapest insurance. my insurance expires this month? please help........................

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

Where is the best insurance company to insure a subaru wrx turbo?

Im 40 years old and am going to be buying a subaru wrx turbo ,can anyone suggest a good insurance company and how much roughly would it be to insure it fully comp .THANKS .""

Auto insurance company that wants me to pay upfront?

I need general information concerning auto insurance complanies that pay claims directly to the driver. They want me to absorb all costs (repairs, rental, etc.) and then they will issue me a reimbursement check. I don't want reimbursed for something that their insured driver did to me! I just want them to cover all costs associated with the claim! What, if any, legal action can I take to have the matter proceed in my favor?""

How much would motorcycle insurance be?

I am a 16 year old caucasian male. Want to know how much insurance would be in TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA for my first bike, a 2001 Honda CBR600F4i.""

""What do you do if you pregnant, and you have no health insurance?

could the baby be covered on the father's insurance?

Car insurance for first time drivers?

im 18 and looking to buy a car soon, i need to know what i should expect to be paying monthly for car insurance.""

Do motorbike insurance count towards my no claims?

i have 2 years no claims on my car insurance and am looking to geta motorbike. will my motorbike insurance go towards my no claims in total

""Auto insurance question, need help!!?""

I have no idea about these questions, could someone explain them? Your neighbor has his own insurance policy with State Farm with the same coverages that you have with your Allstate Auto Policy. So when he says his insurance will cover an accident, you loan him your car. He promptly runs into a tree, causing $2,500 in damage to your car. How much will your insurance policy pay? A. $ 0 B. $ 2,000 C. $ 2,500 D. State Farm will pay E. Cannot be determined You are at the North Carolina coast when Hurricane Irene hits. Although you are able to get away, you have to leave your car and luggage behind. The hurricane blows your car into a tree, causing considerable damage and the trunk to open. Your luggage is then blown away and never recovered. It costs $8,000 to repair your car. The value of your luggage was $500. Your policy will pay: A. $ 7,500 B. $ 7,700 C. $ 8,000 D. $ 8,200 E. $ 8,500 After pumping gas in your new car, you forget to remove the hose from your gas tank. As you drive off, the hose breaks spilling some gasoline and starting a fire. The fire causes $325,000 in damage to the gas station. You are held responsible for the entire loss. Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 100,000 C. $ 300,000 D. $ 325,000 E. None of the above Your twelve-year-old brother, who does not have a drivers license, is visiting you on campus and while sitting in your car playing with the transmission, he puts the car in drive and drives it into the front door of your sorority (or fraternity) house. The damage to your house is $22,000 and your car costs $5,500 to repair. Your brother is hurt, goes to the emergency room and is released with a few bandages and a bill for $1,500 Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 1,500 C. $ 5,000 D. $ 6,500 E. None of the above""

Hit and Run Insurance Claim: How do you go about it?

I have case # from the police. Will the Insurance company send someone to check the car or should I have to get them quotes?

Car insurance after drink driving ban.?

hi, i was banned for 18month for drink driving when i was 16 ( i know very stupid) i am now 25 years old soon to pass my test how high will my car insurance be what would be the best, cheapest car for insurance, please constructive answers I know drink driving is VERY BAD i was 16 and very stupid, thanks for any answers.""

How much would an '89 Mercedes 300e cost for insurance?

So my dad has found a really good deal on a potential car for me in really good condition. It's a 1989 Mercedes Benz 300e. Do you think that since this is a 22 year old car that it'd be a ridiculous amount to insure because of the Mercedes badge? Or do you think I could afford it with a job? My insurance company would be allstate, on my parents plan, I have a 4.0GPA and I plan on taking drivers ed. Advice?""

Insurance rates?

How much will insurance be for a 16 year old driving a 2007 Dodge Charger in the state of California? By the way, I get the good student discount.""

I got a ticket the same day as I got insurance?

I got pulled over but didn't have proof of insurance. I got a ticket, but only have to go in to the highway patrol to get the paper signed when I show proof of insurance. I got insurance that same day, will that work?""

""If you total a new car and have full coverage, does insurance pay off the loan you owe?""

Your Open Question Show me another  I totaled my car. Car insurance question? I got a new car that was worth about $19,000 last year. Ive only had the car for a year and 2 ...show more""

Where can i get life insurance for my daughter who has cancer ?

Where can i get life insurance for my daughter who has cancer ?

Why is my insurance so cheap?

I am a 19 year old male, and I own a 2011 Nissan Altima SL. I live in Baltimore City (which has the highest rates in the state) and have a speeding ticket and a not at fault accident. I carry 100/300/100 coverage with matching 250 deductibles. I also have vanishing deductible, accident, and minor violation forgiveness. I pay 172.00 per month. I thought I could save a few bucks and switch companies, however, I quoted literally every company available in MD and the lowest I found was 580 a month for the same coverages. Thats a HUGEEE difference! I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with my policy. I have had it about a year with no issues, and my not at fault claim went through smoothly. I am the sole policy holder, and no, my family is not with Nationwide either... What could cause such a difference? Any ideas?""

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Is a 2000 Mustang GT expensive to insure?

I'm 16 and looking for a first car. I have my heart set on a certain mustang but the only thing is insurance cost. Its a 2000 GT and im going to be insured with state farm. Im 16 getting my license in 2 weeks so I know thats a big factor. Also I was trying to get some ideas about what it might cost and found this on the state farm website. http://www.statefarm.com/insurance/auto_insurance/veh_rating/ford.asp Not sure if its relevant but if it is than can someone explain what it means?

What are the consequences of driving without car insurance in florida?

What are the consequences of driving without car insurance in florida?

Why are insurance group 1 cars so expensive?

Looking at insuring a car - in the UK we have insurance groups for cars, I can look at an Astra in group 16 and second hand I can see decent ones for 500-1000, but when I look at the shittiest cars known to man, the ones in group 1 - they are all 5000-7000 minimum SECOND HAND. Why the hell is this? If I wanted to be ****** in the *** financially, I'd rather it be with the insurance because at least I'd have a decent bloody car.""

Temporary Car Insurance Cover?

I wanted to get a 1 day car insurance but my licence is just under 6 months. The car belongs to my Grandma. Some of the insurers are reluctant to this. I am 32ys old so not in the under 25 bracket. Any suggestions as to who I could try please. Thanks

Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?

Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

Term Life Insurances-Unknown policy?

Could anyone, e.g my ex-wife, open an insurance policy for me and make herself the beneficiary without me knowing. If that can be done how can I confirm that there is such a policy?""

""I got into a car accident with my new car before i could get insurance, help?""

I just recently bought a 66 mustang from a private seller. My mechanic took a look at it and said it was good. I went to go pick up the car from the seller, and while driving home, 15 minutes into my drive the breaks gave out. I ended up hitting a UPS truck. My passenger and i ended up going to the hospital for injuries. I did not have insurance since i was just going to drive the car home and not drive it until i got full coverage on it. The previous owner still has insurance on the car, and i have not been to the dmv to have the title officially signed over. I need help; legal advice would be great.""

Should I drop collision from my auto insurance this renewal?

I have a ten year old Honda Civic, just over 40,000 miles, has a crack in the driver's side rear bumper that I ignore. I have an excellent driving record, no points, am the only driver, am at that age where I'm not young enough or old enough to be considered a threat, but I live in a high rate state and money is more than tight and they just shot my house insurance through the roof, even though I never put in a claim, because, get this, there is a chance that someday we may have a hurricane! Am I being pennywise and pound foolish, or am I paying for something that won't pay off even if I need it? Thank you!""

Good site for buy SR22 Insurance Texas?

I had my first Dwi... :(

New Insurance Law in Illinois?

Can anyone tell me what is the penalty for driving without insurance in Illinois and getting into an accident. I was driving my friend's car and got into an accident, it was my fault because i was changing lanes. I have already paid the other guy for his damages and have gotten a release from him. This is a first time offense, what will happen to me.""

""How can i set up my own Car Insurance, that i can sell to people....?""

Hi were i live there is this guy that sells day car insurance to youngsters for 40 a day. He insures anybody under any car for 40 as long as they have a driving license, and i really wanted to know how i can get into some of this action. This guys is making a hell of a lot of money, his office is rammed with people everyday wanting day insurance. I wanted to buy my own policy that could sell to people for a day, for a fee of course. Could anyone help on how i can set this up, and what kind of money i would need to set it up. Thanks You""

Know any good insurance companies that will insure a home under renovation that we're living in?

We bought a foreclosure that needs a fair amount of work. We made it habitable and then moved in so we can work on one room at a time. What insurance company would be able to insure this home without raking us over the coals, even though the home may not be considered complete ?""

Going on parents car insurance!?

Hi i am enquiring here, I have my driving test in 2 weeks 7th July, and i am looking around for cars and while i am getting quotes for car insurance they are quite dear at 19 even with a small engined car, i was wondering can i go on my parents insurance which i know can cut the cost quite a lot, but can i use my own car and add the car and me as the main driver of that car and it still stay relatively cheap? i have read up on the illegal action know as ''fronting'' and i want to avoid that happening but don't want to be forced onto my own insurance and be spending hundreds of pounds a month? any help or advice would be appreciated""

Purchasing car insurance?

I need a step by step guide to adding another car and driver to my mom's policy. I have a 1995 Ford Contour. How long will it take for her to get coverage on my car? How do I get proff of insurance?

SR22 insurance?

does anybody know of a low cost company that offers SR22 insurance for a good price. I got to many traffic citations and lost my licence in iowa and they are requireing me to get SR22 to get my licence back.

I need braces on my teeth but i dont no have Insurance that cover it what can do do help?

i really need braces for my teeth and my health insurance wont pay for it. i am 21 and my teeth are crooked and is in my way. i do get SSI but i wanted to know what can i do because Braces cost to much money.

Need a MRI and obgyn but don't have insurance?

I have had abnormal vaginal bleeding for a month and I found out the other day I have a tumor on my uterus and need a MRI and see a OBGYN but I don't have insurance. Would they just bill me? I'm low income and on work comp right now so it's even lower. I am applying for cmsp that's california state assistance but I won't have it by then

Could I get a subsidized health insurance when I retire?

Since the affordable health act will most likely go through, could I get a subsidized insurance when I retire at 60? I will have about 2 million dollars in mostly non-taxed retirement accounts, and some in taxed accounts. If I only have say $35,000 in taxable income when I retire, am I still eligible for the subsidized health insurance as it's determined by taxable income I believe and not how much a person have in retirement accounts?""

What company has the cheapest car insurance for a teen in north carolina ?

What company has the cheapest car insurance for a teen in north carolina ?

Is Obamacare's goal to provide healthcare for everyone? or requires everyone to BUY health insurance?

Is Obamacare's goal to provide healthcare for everyone? or requires everyone to BUY health insurance?

A question about my homeowners insurance check please. This doesn't make any sense.?

I don't understand why my homeowners insurance wants my bank to sign off on a check to cover my insurance claim. They plan to mail my check to me of which I then have to take to the bank to have them sign off before I can then cash it in. They never made me do this before when my tree fell into my barn. Why the change?

Cheap insurance for 17 year olds?

ok doing my driving test on tuesday and got a 02 reg 1.1 citroen saxo at most insurance companies im getting told around 10 grand however i have been able to get it down to 6 grand, btw im 17 d.o.b 08/01/94 does anyone know a company where it is cheap for 17 year olds? Thanks""

How much will i save on my progressive auto insurance by parking in a garage?

is it a big savings? any estimated dollar amnt? i live in an average sized city in MN if that makes any difference

My car insurance company wants to use recycled parts for a repair to my car. Is this legal?

My car insurance company wants to use recycled parts for a repair to my car. Is this legal?

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

Oshkosh Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 54903

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