#(the minimum is 500 lol)

[blee-bleep]

sometimes shit just happens. shit is meeting randoms in ur public solo queues and then getting unknowingly carried by polite master preds. and then they adopt u in their next matches and roll the next few lobbies into the ground.

[awek-s]

atp absolutely cannot blame ppl here for hating my nationality like the customers we got today that had to be told ‘no’ and the way they reacted to it made me want the ground to open up and swallow me whole

[skitskatdacat63]

Every time I write a comment on ao3, every single time I always start the comment off by saying "I wish I could write a longer comment but-" and then I always have to go back and delete it because I end up writing like at least 3 paragraphs....

[e77y]

Such a horrifying feeling to finish an assignment at 11:59, revel in your victory for a few minutes, close out of it to the Canvas homepage, and see tomorrow’s assignments already waiting for you on your to-do list because it’s past midnight

[rolandkaros]

frantically doing the math to see what karo needs to do to qualify for the wta finals..................

[carlos-tk]

-

[bunnygirl678]

someone stick me in an ice bath

[gifti3]

Okay i liked asmos storyline in s2...

I wasnt disappointed by the ending like i was expecting to be since ppl said it was anticlimactic

But that could be due to me already feeling kind of neutral about mammons ending (bias is talking)

I have to be honest and say im still kinda confused if these are supposed to be character development moments that actually affect their characters from here on out or like a thing that just happened to have a story

Brightside, i see this as a way to get a better understanding/refresher of their inner workings at least (canon wise)

Also im a 'kissing asmo' enjoyer

no matter how brief it is and doing it twice in front of everybody....+10

[nappingpaperclip]

Don’t call yourself punk (or even “punk wannabe”) if you’re gonna actively support and DEFEND a genocidal imperialist

my genuine reaction to reading this

huh?? what on Earth are u talking about? lol have I not been outspoken enough about how genocide Joe is a rabid dog who deserves to be beaten to death with a stick?

[chrisbangs]

🥺💗

i'm so 😭 the more i think abt it... scars is one of my top skz songs... one of my fav mvs... has orange haired channie... and like 😞🤍 to think i have, even if it's not an one of a kind pola, but a pola nonetheless on the way to me 😭🤍 of my favourite person in the whole world 😞🖤🌙🐺 feeling kinda emo might just sob...

[steakbones]

i got into dolls from bjds and vinyl dolls that were absolutely out of my price range so now whenever i see a doll under like 100 bucks im like oh this is a great deal !

[softgrungeprophet]

man i was gonna make some shrornaments like that guide i reblogged but we can't find the felt...

[americankimchi]

like if none of our choices matter then none of our characters being alive should too okay dont pull the trigger halfway just start firing at will bioware. go full rambo on my worldstate set me and my PCs free from limbo ����

veilguard better give me the option to kill off my rook because inquisition faking me out like that genuinely pissed me off 🤪

LET ME KILL OFF MY PCS BIOWARE. ORIGINS WAS THE BEST GAME BC IT LET ME DO THATTTTT MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/BAD ENDINGS IN GAMES PLEASEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE I BEG OF YOU BIOWARE

if you're gonna give us a soft reset on the world what better way than to wipe the slate clean in the most literal sense. DEATH TO ALL MY PCS GIVE US A FRESH START IN DA5 GIVE ME THE DRAMAAAAAAA

[darry-queen]

How much Darry and Soda would make modern day and if it would be enough to pay for at least the three of them: (note this may not be incredibly accurate and while yes I did do research while calculating this shit it wasn't super in depth! feel free to correct me on any and all mistakes you notice and feel free to also give your own opinions!! Much love!)

Starting with Darry's:

Before I get into number this is all assuming that Darry works exclusively the hours allotted to him while missing no work, he'd have a 5 day work week at 40 hours which is standard practice in the United States, except for his part time job which he'd be working 25/h a week (i talk about this more later just continue reading) also I'm not giving them any kind of insurance. Sorry! Lol!

Starting salary of a roofer in Oklahoma is $14/h with the average being around $15/h. Assuming this Darry will be getting around 30k a year. I'm going to be generous and say he works for a good company and has a strong union so I'll give him a end of year bonus as well ($200-$800)

His weekly pay would be around $550-$600

This would be taxed though! Using a taxing calculator (bc I'm not doing all that math babeee) He'd be payed around $500 a week.

Darry also canonically has a second job! Though it is never really talked about, not even mentioned whether it's part or full time. I'm just going to assume, generally, that it is probably a part time job that pays minimum wage. (I'm aware that there are many popular hc's as to what this job is I'm ignoring those lol) now I don't live in Oklahoma but I do have personal experience with working part time and it fucking sucks. They have you working only slightly less then a full time employee so they do not have to give you full benefits. It is an incredibly fucked up and exploitative practice.

Something to note is that Oklahoma allows part time employees to be payed half minimum wage the first 90 days of employment when under the age of 20. I do not think I will include this in the calculation because even though Darry would be 19 at the time of his parents death I think he would be 20 not long after and I do not care enough to look into this law to include it in my calculations! Just wanted to mention it because?? What the fuck Oklahoma?

Anyway, part time would have Darry working 25 hours a week for $7.25/h which would be around $180/week. After taxes he'd make $160/week getting him to $660 a week.

Finally, what everyone was waiting for.... doordash fucking driving baby. Considering he lives in a populated area I am going to be generous and say he manages to get around $20/h from doordash driving. Assuming he does this on the days he doesn't work part time (so the other 15 hours) he'd make a whopping 16k extra a year OMG!!

As for any money he'd earn from the state for guardianship of Pony and Soda: Idk! It's kind of confusing trying to figure out Oklahoma giving shit out for this because fostering and guardianship are two dif things and I'm almost certain Darry would have Guardianship over his siblings, not fostering them. So I'm just not including it: he may have received a check upon first becoming their guardian but since that is a one time thing I'm not going to include it in my final calculations (i know this is kinda contradictory for giving Darry a bonus for his roofing work but IDC IDC IDC IDC I AM NOT PUTTING THAT MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS (NOTE I FILLED OUT A MOCK W2 FORM TO GET A ROUGH ESTIMATE OF WHAT DARRY'S TAX RETURN WOULD BE BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CARE))

All of the above considered: Darry is making $960 a week. Wow!

Now for Sodapop!

Soda I'm just going to copy paste what Darry's theoretical part time job would be because it's almost time for me to go to bed and I couldn't find any special rules for 16< year olds, so he'd be working 25 hours for $7.25 which after taxes is again $160

In total him an Darry combined are making a good healthy $1120 a week on average. Probably more if you consider Darry going insane with doordash/overtime! Overall a good $4480 a month

GREAT NOW TIME FOR EXPENSES!!

Expenses Include:

Mortgage payments

power bill

water bill

natural gas

car payments (maybe)

car insurance (maybe)

fuel

food

phone payments

internet bill

probably more I can't remember off the top of my head

OKAY NOW explaining the maybe's rq

You can just, not pay for car insurance. It's illegal, but when you're poor it's not like you can really care about the legality of certain things. Sometimes, it's eating vs car insurance, y'know? Especially because Darry is only 20, that shit is going to be expensive. And the car was def under his dad's name previously so he also def doesn't have any history. I'mma be generous though and say that he does have CREDIT history, which following my own car insurance premiums: my man is going to be paying like, $400 a month. and trust me, I'm being generous here. This is also for liability only. crazy right? With that considered, if I can not get Darry's salary to work with the rest of his expenses I'm saying he's driving without insurance. Hope you understand.

Now for the car itself, it might be payed off already might not. Again it's almost time for me to go to bed so I"m not willing to double check the book to see if car payments are ever mentioned. If they are I'll come back and fix this another time but for now. I'm not including it.

As for the gas for this theoretical truck? I'm going to put it from $250-$300 a month based off of what Reddit car owners said on how often they have to get gas for their own trucks. Great!

OKAY NOW FOR THE REAL EXPENSES! The average cost of utilities in Oklahoma, Tulsa specifically, is $270 a month for electricity, like $130 a month for natural gas, and for water $100 a month. Now you're probably saying, "Paya, isn't that a little high?" to which I'd say, they have 4 (presumably more) other boys coming around almost everyday. SO I feel it's fine to rate that shit on the higher side of things.

Before I forget: the mortgage payments!

This one is kinda fucked! I have no idea when the Curtis parents bought the house in canon. If it was after, or before Darry was born, etc. Because of this you can kinda just make hc's for this. The reason I say this is because obviously the housing market now is VERY different from the one in the 40s-60s which is when they'd have had to buy the house in cannon. In fact, I'm not even entirely sure they own the house in canon I'm just assuming right now! Like, if you're making a modern au: feel free to say that they're renting! Like who really cares about it? I'll even calculate it here for you so you have a frame of reference: Assuming the house is at least 2 bedrooms 1 bathroom it's gonna be around 1.5k a month. If you want to say they're paying a mortgage though, I'm going to assume based off the little data I could find of average home cost in 2004 (I'm assuming the house was bought around the time of Darry's birth) we're looking at somewhere between 150k-250k. I'm going to low ball it though because I think Oklahoma housing prices are generally cheaper and I'm going to assume they'd go for something affordable over something large. So I'll say 175k! Average interest on a home loan in 2004 was around 6%, with a 20% downpayment Darry will be paying 1k a month for the mortgage. Not that bad!

Phone bill is p cheap around 100$ feel like you may be able to play around with this. Like maybe they're paying for Johnny? Who knows not me I want to go to bed!

Food is like so fucking expensive now tbh. I pay $300 a month on grocery shopping a month for my household. Assuming Darry is purchasing food for himself, his brothers, and a little extra for the gang I'm going to put his grocery bill at around $500 a month. I think I'm lowkey low balling it, but I think he'd be a good bargain shopper. Btw, don't ask if he qualifies for food stamps! Because he doesn't!

internet bill is significantly cheaper going to be around $50 a month, as for services like live streaming and other things, we're gonna say it's all pirated. no one is paying for that shit when you can get it online for free! (Personal hc: Steve is a fucking amazing pirate and can get you literally anything you ask for.)

Final cost of living for my boys, not including school supplies, school/extra curriculars/or clothing: $2400 - $3350

Ending conclusion: If Darry works 80+ hours a week and Soda helps out with his part-time job they have more then enough to pay for almost all living expenses. Tell me where I fucked up! Thanks. Btw according to the shittily done w2 I did for Darry he'd get almost 2k in tax returns; i most def fucked something up but I'mma accept it despite that.

[pictureinme]

Can we get Robert Fischer obsessed with a cam girl?

thank u so much for this idea omg ... i had so much fun w this !! also u have the honor of being my first fischer fic LOL

superstar

robert fischer x camgirl!reader word count: 1.2k tags: male masturbation, sex toys (vibrator), overstimulation, camming

(ao3)

Robert lets out a groan as he watches you through his monitor. You had just started streaming, still completely clothed, but he couldn’t resist how you teased at your hardening nipples through your top. Scantily clad, of course, you never were the type to dress modestly for these shows.

He had been watching you for about a month now, turning notifications on almost immediately. The way you would fit all these toys inside yourself with almost no difficulty, and yet still sound so authentic– Robert could be falling in love at this point. Don’t even get him started on your angelic face, he has never seen someone quite like you. If he had, he would’ve been married a long time ago.

“So many people already… and even some new faces!” You grin and begin to hike your pathetic excuse for a skirt up your thighs, revealing the tiniest of panties. “Of course, my favorite supporter is here too. Hi, fischbait!”

“Fuck…” Robert covers his mouth with his hand as his length twitches at you simply uttering his screen name. He knew it was unavoidable that you would notice him– every stream he would send you a minimum of 500 bucks. It didn’t matter if you did anal or anything out of the ordinary, Robert just loved seeing that look in your eyes when you hear that telltale notification sound.

Sometimes he would send messages along with the donations, telling you to buy a specific kind of toy or outfit. Most often, though, he was a silent supporter.

“I think you’re really gonna like what I have in store, you guys,” Robert watches as you move your panties to the side, revealing a vibrator already inside of you, “Whoever gives the biggest donation gets to control this little thing. How cute is that?”

He scrambles closer to his desk, making sure he heard that right. Messages flood in the chatbox:

come on, we all know who’s gonna control it

Just want to see you happy, pretty girl :)

do we even have a chance against that rich fuck lol

even if i control it for just one second, ill be so happy

Yeah, Robert heard you loud and clear. He knows no one will even come close to the amount he could donate, but he decided to keep it lower than what his dirty mind wanted. He watches as the donations pour in rapidly, only reaching a measly 300. Didn’t they realize you deserve so much more?

“Jesus, I always gotta step up to the plate, don’t I?” He chuckles to himself as he sends in his amount of cash, waiting for your reaction.

You’re already moaning halfheartedly due to the other donators’ actions, but your eyes widen in what seems like genuine shock when you see a notification you have never seen before:

fischbait donated 1,000 bucks!

“Holy fuck, thank you, f– ah!”

As soon as the control prompt showed up on his screen, Robert couldn’t resist making the vibe go to the highest setting, even if it was for just half a second. He bit his lip as he watched you recover from the sudden stimulation, your breathing ragged.

“Oh, thank you so much, fischbait,” you smile widely, opening your legs even further, “Treat me nicely, okay? Or don’t…”

Robert’s hand drops from his mouth to palm at his hardness. He wanted you to pay attention to him only, and he was finally gonna have that. He moves the vibrator’s settings to something more realistic and watches as you begin to grab at your chest.

“Feels so good, fuck," you pull down your top, revealing your tits to Robert– well, everyone, but he didn't want to think about that right now. "You're so good to me…"

"Yeah, just like that, (Y/N)," he takes his cock out from his increasingly uncomfortable slacks, quickly fisting it. "Show me your pretty tits, yeah…"

Robert waits for you to get comfortable with the speed he set, just to move it up by one. Your thighs tremble slightly, he could tell you were holding back. He sees you getting even wetter around the toy, glistening in the soft light of your room– it could be a studio, for all he knows. Robert's donations could certainly fund that. He acts like that idea didn't send a jolt through his body.

"Fuck, fuck," your head rolls back slightly, revealing your damp chest even further, "I think I'm gonna come already. God, don't stop!"

He couldn't care less that he was in his office and that his godforsaken secretary could walk in with some useless papers for him to sign at any given moment– he needed to make you come over and over again. Robert’s tip was leaking profusely, but his grip stopped him from doing anything prematurely. Maybe he wanted to be caught with his dick in his hand, what could anyone do about it?

Robert ups the setting again and watches you convulse around the tiny thing inside you. Uncontrollable moans and whimpers come out of his speakers at an embarrassing volume, but he’s only focused on keeping his pumps in time with your trembling. You babble nonsense as he brings the vibrations down somewhat, but not turning it off.

“Please, please, please… it’s so much!”

With his unoccupied hand, Robert quickly types into the chatbox:

Beg for me to stop if you want it so bad.

Your eyes glance at your own monitor, and you bite your lip before you respond, “Please, fischbait, don’t… don’t stop. Make me come again, okay? I want it so bad it hurts, please– fuck!”

He turns it to a pulsing setting, and you collapse back onto your plush duvet. Robert fists his length as you shake, the two of you practically moaning in sync. The wet sounds he was creating echo in his office as he chases his release, trying his best to time it with yours.

“I’m coming, God, I’m coming, please!”

Robert comes with a loud groan just as soon as you do, his release spilling all over his pristine desk. He continues to pump himself as you come down from your high, almost overstimulating himself to the point of incoherence.

You rise slowly from your bed, giggling tiredly, “Jesus fuck, thank you all so much for your… generous donations. I think I’m all tuckered out!”

He calmed his breathing only to hear your fucked out voice– which had him already preparing for another hard-on. “God, (Y/N)...”

“I’m gonna head out for the night,” you got closer to the camera, winking, “See you all next week, yeah?”

The camera clicks off, and he leans back in his chair, exhausted. Taking in the mess on his table, Robert realizes something. He never had a sense of clarity after orgasming with you, there were no regrets to be had. The things he’d do just to have you in his arms…

His reverie is interrupted by a ping! from his desktop, a message landed in his inbox.

today’s stream was perfect thanks to you, honey! you always treat me so well. i’d love to get to know you better ;)

Tonight was far from over.

[fuxuannie]

Omg i didn't see requests are open but hello sjchsudb

Going anon because I am a coward

Anygays! Ahem Caelus x reader general hcs pls 👉👈 i love wet cat man wit all my heart

Thank you! And stay hydrated >:(((

* pairing : caelus x gender neutral reader

* prompt : request ♡

* authors note : wet cat man strikes again! caelus fans i am feeding you, for i too lack content of him <\3 most of these r silly and just remind me of a current dynamic of me and a good friend of mine lol

ּ ִֶָ ࣪✦ CAELUS is a bit of a man failure, still love him though（≧∇≦）

───── ❝ headcanons ❞ ─────

— he is so incredibly clingy and dan heng is so sick of it, caelus is practically glued to you and will only let go at the promise you'll come with him, or if you're not allowed then you have to reply to his 500 texts daily

— he really likes it when you count the scars on his chest, i imagine he's got tons of scarring and hes a weirdo who sleeps without a shirt and you just trace your fingers over his past scars

— he'll love to talk about the recent expeditions he went on over a cup of coffee, french toast for him and your own favorite snack.

— he tries to avoid looking at trashcans when hes with you but cracks a joke every now and then (gaining a slap to the back of the head for it)

— he tries his best to make good memories, cause a part of him knows the difference between you and him. you were merely mortal, he was.. idk something. but definitely was different. he wants to make sure he has enough smiles from you that he'll never forget how you looked when you were in your happiest moments <3

— the type to say happy anniversary the day before your anniversary cause he got rlly excited and thought it was that day

— he really likes animals and will get distracted if someone has a pet, its a problem when hes visiting someones home and they have a dog he has to play with it for 2 hours minimum

— makes random ass noises when hes bored "rawr" "caelus???"

— likes to hum, especially when you're running your fingers through his hair. he usually does it whenever he feels relaxed

— if you're taller than him, he loves tiptoing to kiss your nose, if youre shorter then he does the same thing but leans down instead lol

— his hair is kinda long enough to style, and he wouldn't really mind if you wanted to do. just ask and he'll happily let you do whatever you want

— he likes to give you his jacket, just randomly he'll sling it over your shoulders (then you not so subtly admire his arms lol)

— he likes back hugs where he leans on you and like his hands around your waist slowly slithering tighter (but not enough that ita comfortable) and ajsnehwksbdj

— his smile is one of your favorite things about him, march 7th and dan heng have listened to you ramble about the way you smile for hours.

— but caelus really likes eye contact, its weird but being able to look into your eyes brings him such comfort. he loves just grabbing you by the chin so he can stare at his beautiful partner.

— sometimes people ask where you found a man like him and you answer he was on the side of the road in the rain sitting in a box giving you kitty cat eyes and he stole your heart just like that (you also say you wish you left him there)

— despite the goof he is, you love him with all your heart. and he'd probably kill a man for you if you asked