#and i know i’ll be behind for at minimum another week

[carlos-tk]

-

[steddieas-shegoes]

in a new light

for @steddie-week prompt 'body swap'

rated t | 2653 words | cw: mild language | tags: body swap, friends to lovers, eddie has a crush on steve, steve fast burns through a sexuality crisis, steve has chronic pain

🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺

Steve woke up in Eddie’s bed.

He woke up wearing Eddie’s clothes.

He brushed Eddie’s hair off his shoulder as he yawned.

Or was it his hair?

He opened his eyes and looked down at his shoulder.

Eddie’s hair.

He brushed it off again, but it just fell to his back.

He sat up in bed, looking around the room. No Eddie.

Steve looked around the room before his eyes settled on his own hands.

Eddie’s rings were on his fingers.

He looked down at his arms, jumping at the sight of Eddie’s tattoos.

Eddie’s pale skin.

He rushed to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, ignoring a deep sense of dread taking over him.

“What the fuck?” He asked out loud, only remembering that Wayne would be home at the last minute.

“Everything okay in there, Ed?” Wayne’s voice asked from the other side of the door.

“Yep!” He squeaked out, Eddie’s voice falling from his lips.

He had to call Robin or Nancy or Eddie-

Oh god. Was Eddie in his body?

He had to get to his house immediately.

He opened the door slowly, hoping Wayne had already gone back to another room. He hadn’t. Wayne was standing right outside the door still, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

“You hurt?” Wayne asked.

“No,” he replied, trying to keep their interactions at a bare minimum.

How would Eddie talk to his uncle? He knew they were pretty close, especially since everything that happened in March, so he probably shouldn’t be so standoffish or awkward. Wayne didn’t know everything about what happened, but he knew enough to be suspicious of anyone acting differently than they normally would.

“You need to talk about anything?” Wayne pushed.

Steve didn’t know how to handle an adult actually caring. Was this how it was for Eddie all the time?

“Um…no?” He cleared his throat. “Just a weird dream. I’ll be fine.”

Wayne squinted his eyes, but nodded and walked towards the kitchen. “Makin’ some eggs for breakfast if you want some.”

“Sounds good!”

Steve booked it back to Eddie’s room, closing the door quietly behind him. Eddie had a phone in his room ever since they moved, a requirement that Dustin insisted on so they could easily reach him. Wayne didn’t mind, especially because it meant he didn’t have to listen to Eddie on the phone in the living room while the game was on.

He dialed his house number, hoping that Eddie would answer.

“Harrington residence,” Robin answered.

“Robin! What’re you doing there?” This was good, actually. She could probably confirm if Eddie was stuck inside Steve’s body.

“Uh…I slept over last night? I always sleep over on Thursday nights, Munson. You know that.”

Shit. She didn’t know yet.

“Right. Sorry. Forgot what day it was.” Steve had to think. He could drive over there and check himself. Or he could just have Robin check right now. “So here’s the thing-”

“Oh, there’s the sleepyhead now!” Robin said away from the phone. “Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve said through the phone before he realized Robin wasn’t talking to him.

“What the hell is going on?” Robin asked, sounding more panicked now.

“Is that Steve?” he could hear his own voice asking. Jesus, is that what he actually sounded like?

“What do you mean? You’re Steve!” Robin’s voice was getting louder, higher pitched than it had been when she first answered.

“Robs, hand the phone over,” Steve said as calmly as possible. “I’ll explain in a minute.”

“This is so fucked.” He heard her say as she handed the phone to Eddie.

“Steve?” Eddie asked, quiet and unsure.

“So you’re stuck in my body,” Steve confirmed. “This isn’t good.”

“Tell me about it. Are you always in this much pain?”

Steve swallowed around a lump in his throat. “It’s…not always that bad. It’s been worse the last few weeks.”

“Why the hell haven’t you said anything?” Eddie sounded angry, but Steve was having trouble getting past being reprimanded in his own voice. “My head is pounding, my side aches, my knee creaks. Your body is fucked, man.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah? That’s it?” Eddie sounded angry. “Get over here so we can figure this out.”

He hung up the phone and Steve stood awkwardly by Eddie’s bed.

“Shit.”

****

Steve managed to avoid questions from Wayne, but did get forced into eating some eggs before he left.

“I swear, you better tell that boy soon,” Wayne said as he made his way to the front porch to have a cigarette. “Can’t handle all this dancin’ around feelings.”

Steve tabled that for now, in too much of a rush to get to his house to figure out what was going on and how they could fix it.

By the time he managed to get Eddie’s beat up temporary truck into his own driveway, Robin was gone and he was watching his own body pace up and down the walkway to the front door.

“Robin?” Steve asked as he walked up to Eddie.

“Her mom needed the car. She’s gonna be back later with the kids apparently so we can ‘figure this out’,” he did air quotes around it. “She said this can’t be that bad of a migraine because I can still stand. What the hell does that even mean?”

“Let’s get inside,” Steve sighed as he pushed Eddie in the house and locked the door behind them. “You already knew I get migraines.”

“I thought they were rare! I didn’t know you just woke up like this.”

“Oh, this isn’t a bad one.” Steve looked at the way his eyes weren’t drooping and his shoulders were still surprisingly relaxed. Most of his bad migraines were too intense for him to even be standing, let alone look this calm. “If you’re upright, it’s manageable.”

Eddie’s face dropped from anger to disbelief. “Do you feel like this all the time?”

“I mean, some days are worse than this. Some days are better. But I guess…yeah. Most of the time is like this.” Steve shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

“Steve…” Eddie’s hand raised, then he seemed to think twice and let it drop to his side. “Does Owens know? I’m sure he could find something to help.”

“He had more important things to deal with and I didn’t wanna bother him.” Steve walked to the kitchen so he could grab them both drinks as they figured out what to do. “But let’s focus on what’s most important right now.”

“How is your health not what’s most important?” Eddie asked as he followed close behind.

“We can figure it out when it’s my health again!” Steve exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “You’re stuck in my body feeling the way I’m supposed to feel instead of in your own body, which seems surprisingly normal despite the itch on my side. You should get that checked out by the way. It shouldn’t be itchy anymore.”

“Are you seriously telling me to get an itch looked at when you’re in constant pain? You’re kidding.” Eddie stood in front of Steve, hands on his hips. It was weird seeing his own body doing something so familiar from Eddie’s body. Now that he was seeing it like this, it was a little funny. “I can barely see straight and you’re worried about my scars itching a little?”

“Well, I don’t want it to be infected,” Steve started playing with the ends of his hair, no, Eddie’s hair. “If it ever burns, you should get some antibiotics.”

“Steve. For one single second I need you to focus on the fact that you are in pain all the time. You don’t even take anything for it!” Eddie gently took his fingers from where they were wrapping his own hair around them. “Robin said you never even told her about the scars still hurting.”

“It wasn’t important. I barely even feel it anymore most days,” Steve couldn’t help noticing the way Eddie’s hands were still on his. “Other people had it worse.”

“I think the people who allegedly had it worse would have wanted you to say something. The kids wouldn’t want you to hurt like this all the time,” Eddie turned away and groaned, holding his own head. “Fuck, this is awful. How do you accomplish anything?”

Steve didn’t answer, but reached into the freezer to grab his ice pack designated just for headaches and held it up to where he knew his head was hurting. Eddie seemed to deflate, leaning back against Steve.

And that’s when Steve had the realization that they fit together pretty damn well.

Despite the fact that there was only about an inch of height difference between them, Steve’s body fit perfectly against Eddie’s front.

It felt nice. Even being stuck in Eddie’s body, it felt good to be close like this.

He kept holding the ice pack against his temple and left eye, where the pain always seemed to be the worst. Eddie leaned more weight against him.

“Feel good there?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah. Perfect.”

“You wanna go back to bed? I can wait for Robin and the kids,” Steve offered.

“Nah, I can wait with you.”

“Don’t overdo it.”

Eddie turned and glared at him, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh at his own face.

“Bold words coming from Mr. Overdo It himself,” Eddie mumbled as he took the ice pack from Steve’s hand and made his way to the couch. “Come sit with me. We might as well try to talk through what could’ve caused this.”

“I honestly don’t even know where to begin. I don’t think it’s Upside Down related.”

“Pretty sure if it were, one of us would be dead by now.”

Eddie’s eyes closed as he rested his head against Steve’s shoulder.

“It happened in our sleep so maybe it was a dream thing?” Steve asked as he wrapped his arm around Eddie, pulling him into his side more. “Was I in your dream?”

“Mhm. Always,” Eddie slurred, already half asleep.

Steve was too busy trying to think through what could have caused this to realize what he said until he was already asleep.

He looked down at his own sleeping body, the ice pack starting to fall as Eddie’s hand relaxed more. Steve grabbed it and held it in place while he got distracted by new thoughts.

Wayne had said something about feelings earlier and Eddie had sounded genuinely upset about the pain Steve was in, not just because he was currently living it. He’d admitted that he was dreaming about him always.

Sometimes, Eddie would find excuses to be alone with Steve during movie nights: helping him grab drinks for everyone or offering to help get the guest room ready for the kids. He showed up randomly with Steve’s favorite milkshake from the diner, always remembered to order his favorite beer when they went to the bar, and bought him earplugs so he could go to a Corroded Coffin show without getting a migraine.

“Oh.” Steve breathed out, his heart fluttering in his chest.

So Eddie probably liked him.

But did he like Eddie?

As Eddie turned his face into Steve’s neck, breath sending chills down Steve’s neck, he realized that he did. Probably for a while, actually.

Because when Eddie showed up with his favorite milkshake, the butterflies in his stomach would start fluttering. When he watched Eddie on stage at his concert, he’d felt so proud of him, all he wanted to do was kiss him. When they spent endless hours together while the kids argued or splashed around in Steve’s pool, he fell for him.

“Shit.”

Steve closed his eyes and hoped that they could figure everything out soon. He wanted to kiss Eddie when he was Eddie, not while he was stuck in Steve’s body.

****

When Steve woke up, he felt a dull ache in his head and a sharp pain in his neck.

He opened his eyes and frowned.

Hadn’t he fallen asleep holding Eddie?

Now Eddie was-

Steve sat up quickly, nearly falling off the couch. “Eds! Wake up!”

Eddie’s eyes blinked open. “The fuck?”

“We’re ourselves!” Steve shouted before jumping into Eddie’s lap, legs straddling Eddie’s thighs.

Eddie’s hands instinctively grabbed his hips to keep him from falling backwards in his enthusiasm and Steve’s arms wrapped around his neck to hold on.

“Head still hurt?” Eddie asked him. “And don’t lie to me.”

“A little, but not that bad,” Steve gave a comforting smile. “I promise. The ice pack must’ve helped.”

“Wayne used to get migraines when he kept switching between night shift and day shift. Used to swear by peppermint tea before he went to sleep. I could make you some?” Eddie offered, thumbs rubbing just under Steve’s t-shirt. “We’d have to go back to mine for it, but I’ll drive so you don’t have to.”

“Eds, I’m okay. But I think I’ll grab some at the store tomorrow and you can make me some next time,” Steve wrapped a strand of Eddie’s hair around his finger, much like he did earlier when it was his hair. “Did you really dream about me?”

Eddie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t pull away.

“I’m hoping the answer is yes,” Steve continued. “So if you have been, I think we could do something about making your dreams a reality.”

Eddie blinked back at him for a long minute.

“That was horrible. Is that the charm the girls always bragged about? Jesus, Stevie.”

They both laughed, Steve’s head falling forward so it rested against Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie’s hands started rubbing his back, slow and cautious, testing the waters a bit.

“I just meant that if you want me like that, I’d like to take you out.” Steve leaned back, but kept his face close enough to lean in for a kiss if Eddie let him.

“Out? On a date?”

“Out on a date,” Steve nodded. “Would you wanna?”

“Steve. I’m seriously asking this question so don’t laugh.”

“Okay…”

“Is it because you saw the size of my dick when you were in my body?”

Steve laughed so hard, he choked on his own breath. “No!” Steve shook his head. “I didn’t even see it. What the hell, Eddie.”

He shook his head, smiling fondly at Eddie, who was smirking back at him.

“You wanna see it, though, don’t you?” Eddie teased.

“I’m not a fuck on the first date kinda guy,” Steve smacked his shoulder. “But maybe for you I could be persuaded.”

“This might be the best day of my life.”

“It could be better if you kiss me.”

The moment their lips touched, Steve’s front door burst open and Robin, Nancy, and the kids rushed into his house.

“El thinks she knows what happened!” Dustin yelled.

“Okay, this is definitely not something Robin mentioned,” Mike said as he turned away from Steve and Eddie on the couch.

“What’s going on?” Robin asked, probably so done with the events of the day.

“Nothing anymore.” Steve slowly slid from Eddie’s lap, but grabbed onto his hand to hold it on his leg. “Back to normal.”

“Just like that?” Will asked.

“Yep. Just like that.”

“What if it happens again?” Nancy asked them both.

“Dunno. But if you don’t mind, we’ve got somewhere to be,” Steve said as he stood up and pulled Eddie to his feet. “We’ll let you know if it happens again!”

They both walked out of Steve’s house and got in Steve’s car.

“You think they’re gonna be here when we get back?” Eddie asked him as they pulled out of his driveway.

“Probably. But I think if we kiss in front of them, they’ll scatter pretty quick.”

“Devious.” Eddie lifted their hands and kissed the back of Steve’s hand. “Where’re you taking me?”

“Milkshakes. I think I owe you one after all the times you brought me one.”

[turcott3]

love language

jamie drysdale x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, smut!😝 (loss of v card, fingering, unprotected sex) fluff!!!!

positions fics masterlist

~teach me how to love you, i’m not learning what ain’t right~

-

another morning waking up in jamie’s spacious anaheim apartment was a strange feeling to you. you’d grown incredibly fond of him over the past few weeks of staying with him. you were just trying to get on your feet and were looking for a place of your own. trevor, a childhood friend of yours, introduced you to jamie some months ago and jamie was willing to help you while you sorted everything out with your move, trevor’s house being full and your urge to stay with that many guys was at a minimum, but jamie has a place to call his own which was something he always wanted and was willing to share his space with you.

“good morning.” jamie greets you from the couch with a mug of hot coffee.

“morning.” you reply rubbing your eyes and walking into the kitchen to make your morning coffee.

“i bought you a new bottle of creamer because i saw you were almost out.” he says once you open the fridge door.

“oh thank you.” you smile appreciating the small gesture.

“yeah you’re welcome, oh by the way, z, mase and leo are coming over tonight. we have like two days off so i figured you’d want to see them.” he says getting up off the couch and leaning on the tall counter.

“yeah that sounds awesome,” you smile taking a sip of your coffee, locking eyes with jamie. it was always hard for you not to stare for too long at his big, beautiful, blue doe eyes.

“great, i’m gonna get to cleaning the place.” he says drinking the last of his coffee and setting his mug in the sink.

“i’ll help?”

“no it’s okay, didn’t you say you had homework or something?” he says towering over you, standing a little too close.

“oh yeah, i do. we’ll just let me know if you need any help.” you say smiling awkwardly, exiting the kitchen with your coffee, quickly shutting the door behind you. you open your macbook trying to shake the funny feeling he left in your stomach during your short lived conversation in the kitchen. his proximity, his eye contact, his demeanor. it made you overthink, or so you thought.

“what the fuck?” you swear, blinking a few times after seeing how much time had past. it was already reaching 3 pm and you had spent the last 5 hours working on homework and an essay for your english class.

“i think i just got stuck in an alternate dimension, no way i was at my desk for five hours.” you say swinging your door open to jamie sitting on the couch watching tv.

“i didn’t want to interrupt you, when i opened your door you were locked in. i got you lunch tho, i put it in the microwave so it wouldn’t get too cold.”

“oh thank you, you didn’t have to.”

“well i felt like i should because you were drowning yourself in work and you needed to eat something.”

“i appreciate the gesture.” you say pulling the chipotle out of the microwave.

“they’ll be here at 5.” he says.

“okay, let me eat and shower and ill be out here.” you smile walking over to the couch to hug him, “ you’re the best.”

“yeah of course.” he says hugging you back gently. you took your meal into your room and ate it while you picked an outfit and let the shower warm up. right before you step in, your phone buzzes on the counter.

“hey z.” you say picking up.

“hey y/n, can’t wait to see you tonight. it’s been a while since we caught up.”

“yeah me too, i’ve missed you.”

“still a virgin y/n/n? i feel like it’s been long enough since i last checked in.” he asks.

“yes trevor, i told you that you’d be the first to know once i lost my virginity.”

“yep i’m waiting for that text that says ‘harmonica’.”

“oh yes, the code word.” i laugh.

“alright well i’ll let you go, ill see you at 5.”

“bye trev.”

“bye y/n.” he says, ending the line, finally allowing you to step into the shower. you longed for it to finally happen, you’re 20 how has it not yet? once you wrap up your shower you step out, flipping on your hairdryer, humming while you dried it almost completely. you slip on your leggings, throw on your crewneck and spray yourself generously with perfume. you walked back out into the bedroom and heard trevor’s familiar laugh. you slipped on your slippers and walked out into the living room, seeing all the boys sat at the table.

“y/n!” trevor says standing up and walking over to you, hugging you tightly.

“it’s good to see you too trevor.”you laugh as he lets you go. he brings you to the table where you sat directly across from jamie.

“wine anyone? mom got me a wine fridge and i just stocked it.” jamie says and presents a bottle of red wine proudly.

“sure.” you reply smiling, happy to see how proud he is of his wine fridge. he grabs you all glasses and pours one for each of you.

“cheers to being reunited.” mason says raising his glass and everyone following suit, jamie and i locking eyes for a brief moment before looking away, feeling occasional glances in my direction.

“how about some truth or dare?” trevor offers, setting his glass down.

“sure.” mason says with a smug smirk on his face.

“i’m in.” leo replies looking in your direction.

“yeah, yeah let’s play.” you say taking your last sip and setting your glass down.

“i’ll go first.” mason offers, “jamie, truth or dare?”

“truth?” he replies hesitantly.

“how many bottles of wine did you buy for that fridge yesterday?”

“seven.” he quickly replies.

“oh damn ok.” mason laughs, taking another sip.

“trevor, truth or dare?” jamie says turning to look at the clueless boy.

“dare.”

“call terry and tell him you still wanna walk his dog.”

“god, fine.” he says pulling his phone out and calling him.

“hey troy, what’s up?” he says followed by silence.

“yeah i was just calling to ask if i could walk your dog tomorrow? no? oh, okay. great, well thanks for the trust terry.” he laughs hanging up.

“tell you no?” leo asks.

“hahaha yeah.” he replies.

“it’s your turn.” you say cutting him off.

“jeez okay, y/n.” he says smirking looking at you.

“truth.” you say hoping it’s the safe route. trevor looks at you then looks at jamie, then to mason and leo before coming back to you.

“is it true that you’re still a virgin?” he asks with a smug look on his face, causing you to choke on your second sip of your new glass of wine.

“really dude?”

“it requires an answer.”

“yes trevor. i am still a fucking virgin.” i say, face flushing red now that jamie knows.

“alright your turn.” he smiles.

“last round. leo?”

“truth.”

“did you wanna get drafted by the ducks?”

“honestly…… no but i’m glad i am here now.”

“wow didn’t expect that one.” you say expecting a much more underwhelming reply. you finish your wine and rinse your glass out in the sink, finding your way to the couch leaving the boys at the table. they continue their conversation and you sit scrolling through your phone, thinking it would be rude to go to your room with guests over.

j: you good?

y/n: yeah i’m fine

j: okay, talk later?

y/n: sure

you reply one final time, turning on the tv and putting on a movie, distracting yourself from the elephant in the room. not to long after the boys join you on the couch watching the movie as well. jamie sat close to you, arm draped around the back of the couch where you sat. no one said a word to each other for at last 30 minutes. you scoot closer to jamie, leaning your head on his shoulder, eyes drooping with sleepiness. he rested his arm around your shoulder snuggly, his thumb gently caressing your arm.

“boys i think it’s time we head out.” mason declares standing up. it had been a few hours and it was starting to get late.

“i’ll see you guys tomorrow.” jamie says fist bumping them all as they filed out of the apartment. he olaced his arm back around me, this time more snuggly and boldly.

“you okay?” he asks, brushing his thumb in your bicep.

“yeah i’m just embarrassed. he always finds a way.” you admit to the brunette.

“he has a way of rubbing people the wrong way, i’m so sorry y/n.” he replies honestly.

“yeah he does.” you sigh

“so is it true?”

“is what true?” you ask fearing his question.

“are you actually a virgin?”

“yes, i am.” you sigh, embarrassed all over again.

“i mean is there like a reason why?”

“jamie i’m 20, there’s obviously not a good reason. i mean no one’s ever wanted me like that or been attracted to me in that way.” you say picking at your cuticles.

“that’s crazy.”

“what?”

“how has no one been attracted to you in that way?” he repeats and i turn to look at him.

“i mean they just haven’t.”

“they’re crazy.”

“what do you mean?”

“have you looked at you?”

“well yeah but-“

“no buts, come here.” jamie says moving you onto his lap, your hands locking behind his neck.

“what are you doing?”

“giving you the attention you deserve.” he smiles, pulling your chin to his, pressing a short kiss to your lips, sending butterflies through your stomach, leaving an anxious look on your face.

“jamie-“ you start.

“if you don’t want to do anything with me, tell me now and i’ll stop.” he says interrupting you.

“no it’s not that i don’t want to do anything with you, i’m just scared.”

“why are you scared y/n? tell me.” he replies, pushing strands of hair behind your ears.

“i’ve never felt beautiful like other girls so maybe ive just been afraid to ever put myself out there. that’s why im scared. that im not good enough.” you admit to him, never even wanting to admit that to yourself.

“well you should put yourself out there. sure there’s “beauty standards” but who gives a fuck? look at you. you’re so beautiful.” he says with his hands placed delicately on your waist.

“it’s just hard.”

“i’ll make sure you know how beautiful you are love, i promise.” he says running his hand lightly up and down your thigh.

“okay.” you say caving into his words. you grab onto his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss again. this time trying to assert yourself, showing him the direction you want the kiss to go. he puts his arms beneath you, picking you up bridal style, carrying you to his bedroom. a place you’d only entered a handful of times. delicately, he places you on the bed, removing his shirt and climbing over you, reconnecting your lips once again. you began to feel more comfortable, even thought him being shirtless was intimidating to you, you never realized just how toned he actually was.

“you’re so fucking fit jamie.” you say as he backs away to look at you.

“don’t make this about me honey, this night is all about you.” he says running his hands up your legs to the waistband of you leggings in which he assists you in removing. he tosses them in his hamper, clearly having no intentions of giving them back tonight.

“if i need to slow down or stop please tell me.” he says staring down at you, our faces mere inches apart.

“okay.” you reply, face turning rose. he connects your lips once more before assisting you shimmy out of your crewneck which you wore no bra under.

“no bra around the boys? bold move.” he giggles taking your breasts into his hands and kissing you as your hand found their way around his neck. he pulls away standing up again, removing his sweatpants leaving him only in his boxers. delicately, he runs his middle finger over your soaked core on top of the fabric of your lace thong.

“wow so wet huh?” he smirks.

“can’t help it, just want you.” you say boldly, encouraging him more. carefully, he removes your underwear tossing it aside as he runs two fingers through your folds. you were unsure what you were feeling, but knowing it was good was enough. suddenly he finds a sweet spot, kicking your feelings into high gear, unleashing a moan you’d never heard from yourself.

“oh my god jamie.” you say and he giggles.

“you like that?”

“yes fuck yes.” you huff out, never wanting the feeling to end.

“what about,” he pauses, inserting one finger into you, “now?”

you jump at the sensation, it doesn’t hurt too bad but definitely doesn’t feel great.

“a little uncomfortable but not bad, you can keep going.”

“okay.” he says beginning to slide his second finger in, causing a sting.

“okay that hurts a little bit.”

“well good thing i decided to do this first.” he smiles leaning up to kiss you, moving his fingers in and out of you carefully. it still felt weird but you didn’t want to get off on his fingers so you decided to let him go until you felt good enough.

“jamie?” you say opening your eyes and he lifts his head off your shoulder.

“mhm?”

“i’m ready.” you say and he removes his fingers, sucking them clean.

“are you sure baby, like 100% sure?”

“i’m 100% sure.” you reply.

“okay,” he says kissing you once again. he pulls down his boxers allowing his dick to spring free, your eyes directing right to its leaking tip. anxiety trying its best to hold off as he pulls you closer to him as he kneels on the bed, running his tip through you folds just the way his fingers had.

“tell me when it’s too much.” he says pushing in the tip warning a hiss from you.

“you okay?” he asks and you simply nod. he pushes in a little further, feeling your walls stretch out.

“okay wait stop for a sec please.” you say pressing your hands to his chest.

“whatever you need.” he says stopping abruptly. you nod signaling for him to continue and you even hold on and let him bottom out.

“god you’re so big, i feel so full.”

“you’re doing amazing baby.” he says kissing you sweetly on the lips trying to distract you from the sensation you felt between your legs. he retracts his hips slowly and carefully not wanting to hurt you before pushing back in at the same speed, gritting your teeth, trying to find pleasure in this sensation.

“you okay?” he asks.

“yeah i’m okay.” you reply and he continues, the discomfort finally beginning to subside.

“you feel so good around me y/n, so fucking good.” he smiles kissing you passionately. this thrust into you changed everything, pleasure washed over your body quickly, pushing a moan out of your throat.

“there it is, that’s my girl.” he smiles, thrusting a little faster and deeper.

“fuck jamie, that feels so good.” you say wrapping your arms around the back of his neck as his chain hung in your face, hair covering his. he continues his paces, brushing your sweet spot with every thrust, tightening around him.

“you gonna come for me baby?” he asks and you nod quickly, releasing the built up pressure that had built in your abdomen.

“fuck.” you say, the sensation making your legs shake.

“fuck i’m getting close.” he says, his thrusts getting sloppier and pulling out spurting his warm seed onto your stomach. quickly, he runs into the bathroom so wet a rag and wipe your stomach clean before throwing the rag in the hamper and going back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

“jamie?” you ask. no answer. the feeling of regret beginning to rise in your chest. you grab your crewneck and underwear off the floor and, prepare to leave the room and lock yourself away.

“jamie?” you say again, tears threatening to form in your eyes.

“sorry i had to pee and then i had to answer an email i forgot abo- why do you have those?” he stops mid explanation.

“oh i uh, i figured you weren’t gonna come back out so i was just gonna go back to my room. i’ll hopefully have a place soon so i can get out of your hair.” you reply, scratching your head wondering why you even did this, “i’ll just go ahead and leave now.” you say starting to stand up and he stops you.

“woah woah no stop, did you really think i was gonna just dip after that?” he asks stepping in front of you, grabbing onto your arms.

“well….. kind of.”

“no baby, you’ve got it all wrong, come here.” he says climbing back into bed pulling you to his chest instantly.

“what do i have wrong?” you ask, placing your chin on his chest.

“do you honestly think i just had sex with you so you’d lose your virginity and stop being embarrassed by it?” he asks rubbing your back softly.

“that’s kinda what i assumed once you shut the bathroom.”

“well that’s not what happened and i’m so sorry i did that, i couldn’t have picked a worse time to remember i had an email to answer, anyways, the truth is that i like you, and i have for a long time. you’re beautiful, funny and smart. you’re you and i literally cannot get enough of it.” he says smiling locking eyes with you.

“wow, you like me?”

“yes i do, a fucking lot. i had sex with you because i wanted to and it felt so special being your first. guess i couldn’t pass up the chance.” he chuckles.

“it was amazing jamie, i don’t think i could’ve asked for a better first.” you reply, smiling from ear to ear.

“of course my love, you were so amazing, it seemed so natural to you.” he pauses, “also i want you to stay.”

“stay? what do you mean?”

“like i don’t want you to find an apartment for yourself, please just stay, i love having you here.”

“jamie you don’t have to-“

“i’m offering, it will save you a lot of money and i love your company. please stay.”

“okay i will if you want me to. i just don’t want to inhibit your space.” you say picking at your nails

“you won’t be don’t worry. and besides, we may sleep together eventually if we really truly to give us a chance, but you still have your own room when you need space.” he says.

“i- did you mean like share a bed with you?”

“i mean eventually if you want to share we could, no pressure at all.”

“well i guess we could give this a go couldn’t we.” you nod, sitting up on his lap looking down at him.

“if you’d like to give it a go, i would also like that… quite a lot actually.” he laughs and you lean down to kiss him.

“is that you asking me out?”

“more so asking you to be my girlfriend.”

“wow popped the question so soon.” you teased.

“i know we’ve only had like this night but having you around has made me so crazy about you.” he says scooting back to sit up a bit, keeping you on his lap, placing his hands on your waist.

“hey i’m joking babe, i would love to be your spontaneous girlfriend jamie.” you laugh, smiling widely.

“thank god.” he says, his arms wrapping around you and kissing you passionately. the rest of your night was filled with the pleasures of exploring your romantic connection. you talked, you cuddled, you started a new tv show, you fucked, you made out. you used one night to make up for all the time you spent living together, unknowingly pining for each others affection. eventually, the two of you fell asleep entangled in each other, completely obsessed with one another. you woke up the next morning to jamie pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“good morning my love.” he says talking into your cheek before kissing your it a few more times.

“good morning jamie.” you laugh opening your eyes to face him, allowing yourself to get lost in his gorgeous eyes.

“i slept so good.” he giggles.

“oh yeah, best sleep ever.” you giggle wrapping your arms around him and kissing him on the lips.

-

[rottenomelet]

regimen - yandere geto suguru (1.5k)

(warnings: nsfw! i’m eighteen and you should be too! yandere geto suguru, degradation, no after care (is that a tag/warning?) hints of anal sex and like, barely even anal fingering.

note(s): geto basically hates the non sorcerer reader lmao like he is not sweet at all. also geto does not call the reader monkey. this is placed a few years after the kfc incident.)

-

you start your day the same way you have for the past seven months - getting plowed from behind with geto suguru tugging your hair.

your whine is muffled by the pillow he’s pushed your head into. the pillow is wet from your drool and you can hardly breathe, hoping that he’ll be done soon and your day can continue.

your wish isn’t granted, but then again, the universe hasn’t exactly been in your best interest lately anyways. you spend the next twenty minutes or so taking geto’s cock, only taking small gulps of air whenever his grip on your hair loosens and you can tilt your head up a bit. it never lasts long before he’s pushed your head back down, but your grateful for even that small mercy.

you try to focus on anything but the feeling of his cock inside of you. he’s not aiming for your pleasure, you know that well, but it feels betrayingly good whenever he slams into that special spot inside every once in a while.

you keep your noises to a minimum and save for his occasional grunt or groan, only the sound of skin slapping and birds chirping can be heard.

when he finishes, he finishes on your back. he’s never not once finished inside of you which is another small grace. geto’s reasoning is because, “i wouldn’t risk getting a stupid thing like you pregnant.”

as soon as he’s come down from his high, geto removes himself from you as if touching you gives him hives. without his hands holding your hips up, you collapse onto the bed and curl into the sheets. it’s almost as though you’re a puppet whose strings have been cut. he doesn’t say anything as he gets dressed and reties the knot in his hair.

“get cleaned up. i’ll be back tonight.” is the only thing he says as he leaves. the door closes and you only bundle up tighter, bottom lip caught between your punishing teeth. getting back to sleep is futile, you know, but you always take a few minutes to recuperate afterwards.

eventually you rise. you throw the ruined nightgown and sheets into the hamper and draw a bath. once you’re clean and your muscles have relaxed as much as they could in the hot water, you put on another dress. dresses, night gowns, babydolls: they’re the only things he’ll allow you to wear. something about easier access.

you numbly make your way to the garden. you don’t notice anyone in the hall or the paintings hanging up or the whispers around you. you don’t have the energy to care about any of it. once outside, you take your usual seat at your usual bench. a small ghost of a smile appears on your face when you notice a pastry and cup of coffee on the other side of the bench. you know it was the gardeners - they do the same thing every morning but it never fails to make you smile.

“good morning.” you say to one tending to the wysteria tree you’re sitting under. “thank you. beautiful weather we’re having.”

he doesn’t respond, continuing to trim and pluck away. you pay the silence no mind - you know they don’t speak under geto’s orders.

when you asked why no one ever talks to you, naively back in those first weeks, he laughed cruelly. “i told them not to. after all, i see no point in making anyone converse with the house slut.” you stopped asking questions after that.

the day goes on, with you sitting in the garden and the gardeners working around you. once the sun sets, you head back inside for a light dinner that you can barely get down. you go to your room, change into another nightgown, and wait for geto on the bed.

when he walks in, he only gives you a look before he turns to close the door behind him. you know that look and obediently, you put your head in the pillows and perk your ass up.

it’s disgusting, it’s dehumanizing how well he has you trained. but you know better than to fight back, you know what monstrosities await you only a snap away if you put even a toe out of line. so you’re pliant as he lifts up the edge of your gown, no underwear in the way because he refuses to give you any.

you hear the familar shuffle of his robes before that same warm tip kisses your cunt lips. no matter how many times he does it, the breath always gets knocked out of you once he slips inside. his cock is always bigger than you remember, always more consuming than in your nightmares.

tonight is what you classify as an unfortunate night. he’s slamming into that sweet part inside of you more than usual. you moan accidentally and go rigid when you do. but he either didn’t hear or didn’t care because he doesn’t reprimand you for making noise.

it feels good, the pleasure leaving your brain a little fuzzy. when he’s against that spot, it’s easier to focus on the slide of his cock in and out. makes everything feel better and better.

you try to fight the feeling of your orgasm but it’s a losing battle. he goes deep, balls kissing your untouched clit and that tips you over the edge.

when you cum, you bite the pillow to muffle the scream. your world explodes with colors before completely whiting out. you tremble with the force of your orgasm. it’s been weeks since geto last forced you to cum - your body’s unused to the sensation. you can feel your pussy tighten around him, hear him grunt at the sudden warmth.

“you fucking whore.” his hand threads through your hair and tug until you’re looking up at him. his bun has completely fallen apart, sweat soaked messy strands framing his face.

“my cock feels that good? you came and i barely touched you.” his thrusts start back up again, punishing and hard. “this is why i keep you here - a little slut like you couldn’t survive without my cock.”

“say it. say your a slut.”

you know what will happen if you don’t do what he asks. “i’m a slut.”

you thought it wouldn’t be possible but he speeds up. he thrusts harder and harder each time. the sounds of skin slapping get louder, the bed creaks and groans as geto screws you silly. the overstimulation is driving you insane, your poor pussy aches for a break but all you can do is allow your eyes to roll into the back of your head and bite your lip.

“say you’re mine.” his grip on your hair tightens and you yelp without meaning to.

“i-i’m yours!”

“fuck, fuck. say my name.”

you hesitate.

you’re not allowed to say his name. that was the first thing he told you - that it didn’t matter to him what your name is, and that his name is too important for someone like you to know. you only figured it out a week after that by listening to the maids gossip in the halls.

you’ve only called him by his name once. you learned after that to fear those two words.

‘is it a trick?’ you wonder. he hasn’t tried to trip you up in months but you could never know with him.

you don’t have anymore time to think before he delivers a punishing thrust. he doesn’t like to wait.

“g-geto… geto-sama.” you whisper. gods, you’re practically shaking. please, please don’t be some trick.

one, two, three more thrusts and geto’s pulling out just in time to cum all over your butt. his hand lets go over your hair as he comes down from his high. you drop, gracelessly, onto the bed, too worn out to try to sit up. your head falls into the pillow and you just lay there, trying to remember what your name is.

you expect him to let go of you like you’ve burned him. to quickly get his things and scoff at your cum and sweat covered body and then leave you to your own devices.

but he doesn’t immediately jump away from you like he usually does.

instead his hands travel from your waist to your cum coated ass. his left hand pulls your cheek apart as his thumb slides from the other cheek to that untouched hole. his thumb teases that unused entrance, circling it but never entering, making a mess of his cum on your butt.

you’re trembling as he does. in the past, he’s threatened to fuck your butt, just to see you quiver. but he’s never really gone through with that particular threat.

is he going to do it as punishment for saying his name?

luckily you don’t have to worry for long before geto stops. he removes his hands and then himself. he routinely gets dressed and reties the knot in his hair.

and right before he’s about to leave, he says, “get cleaned up. you know the drill.”

[helpimstuckposting]

Two Minute Notice - Completed!

@steddiebang2024 | AO3

I'm so excited I finished this! It was meant to be bare-minimum 10k, 5 chapters, easy peasy. Well, now it's 9 chapters and almost 40k words so 🤷‍♀️ whats a girl to do? Please check it out, along with the amazing art from hel-s-art

—

Before he even opened the door, Steve could tell Eddie was well past freaking out. He hadn’t been himself all day; contrary to what he’d been saying throughout the week (I’m fine, Steve, I’m fine, I’m fine ), Steve knew Eddie, he knew the thoughts spiraling around his head. He hated Creel for doing this to him, for causing this stress in the first place.

Eddie was nearly crumpled over his vanity, muttering to himself and taking breaths that Steve feared were too deep, too rushed.

“Eds,” Steve whispered gently, trying not to startle him. He almost felt like a bunny, quivering under a stress he couldn’t handle, heart about to give out on the spot. The makeup brush Eddie had been holding clattered onto the counter and he took another too-deep breath into his lungs, sounding more strained than before.

“I’m fine! I-I’m fine, it’s okay. I’ll be out in a second, I’m fine,” Eddie said, voice trembling like whatever had held him together all these years was so frayed it could snap at any second.

He looked around the room, the tour posters glaring at him from every angle. Ten years. Ten years Creel had been lording success over Eddie’s head and Steve hadn’t been able to do a damn thing about it, but he’d never stop trying.

“Baby-“

“I’m fine!” Eddie snapped. He took another deep breath, held the air in for a beat, and let it go. “Steve, I’m fine. I just needed a minute.” His voice was still choked up, the breath he took just as useless to calm him down as the ones before.

“You’re not fine,” Steve said, tone just as soft and quiet as before, as he stepped up behind his boyfriend. He watched as Eddie trembled in front of the mirror, eyes focused on the concealer in front of him and distinctly avoiding eye contact with Steve’s reflection.

Steve reached out carefully, making sure Eddie saw him in the mirror before he placed his hands on the singer’s shoulders. He rubbed circles into the base of Eddie’s neck, not hard enough to erase any of the tension in his shoulders, but Steve hoped it was gentle enough to ease the man’s racing heart.

“You’re shaking, Eddie, you’re not okay.” He leaned down to bury his nose in Eddie’s hair. He wanted to ground him, to hold him and reassure him that he wasn’t alone. Eddie always did better with physical touch; it helped him breathe, it made the stress and panic feel a little easier to deal with, and Steve was always there to make sure Eddie felt safe through his anxiety.

Now, instead of easing into the warmth behind him, Eddie brushed Steve’s hands off him and stood up to pace the dressing room. He rubbed at his shoulders where Steve had touched, and rolled his neck several times like he was trying to physically uncoil a wire in his head.

“Steve, I’m about to go out and perform and I need a minute to get ready, okay?”

“Ed, come on! I’m trying to talk to you, you can’t just-“

“I need to do this! There’s a whole fucking crowd of fans and media and investors out there, and this is important to me. You said you’d support whatever’s important to me!”

He was shouting now, hands still trembling as he carded them through his hair. Steve winced internally, knowing the frizz Eddie just caused would freak him out even more. He glanced at the mirror, shifting just a bit to put himself between Eddie and his reflection. The rockstar hadn’t had the chance to touch up his makeup yet, a few faded scars bleeding through the foundation on his jaw.

“This has to be perfect, I have to be the best one out there. All those cameras out there, I can’t let Henry down now ,” Eddie pleaded with Steve, as if he’d ever let Creel down before. He always pushed himself past his limits for the bastard, always played the part in his stupid fucking circus and they’d had this conversation before, Eddie’d never listened to Steve’s opinion on Henry fucking Creel.

“Eddie, you know I’d support you if I thought this is really what you wanted, but it’s not! You’re freaking out, you’ve been on edge all day- fuck , you’ve been on edge for weeks leading up to this!”

“Because I don’t have a choice!” Eddie yelled back at him. He’d stopped pacing, turning fully to look at Steve and the wild look in Eddie’s eyes trembled as he stared him down.

“Henry’s the reason I have everything I do! He’s the only reason I have all this,” Eddie said, arms flailing out to gesture around him, “He’s the reason I have the fame, the money, the safety. He’s the reason I have you !”

Steve cocked an eyebrow. How the fuck Eddie came to that conclusion, he didn’t know.

“Eddie, you did all of that yourself.” Steve’s voice was measured again, he reigned in the anger he wanted to throw at Eddie’s stupid producer, sponsor, or whatever the fuck Creel was to him at that point. “You’ve got more talent in one fucking curl on the top of your head than Creel’s got in his whole body. That’s why he pushes you so hard, that’s why he throws all of this shit at you, because you’re the only thing he has.”

“But I only know you because of him, because of this huge fancy life I have. I never would have met you otherwise, you don’t even know me outside of all this !” he spat out, gesturing again to the tour posters, flicking at the black satin shirt that was draped over his chest, covering the scars beneath. Eddie stopped pacing, and wrapped his arms around himself like he had to physically hold it together, like he was the only one who could keep the pieces from scattering across the floor.

Steve sighed, stepping forward to clear the space between them. Eddie was still shaking. Steve could see his t-shirt trembling as his heart thumped away beneath it, and he wanted so badly to take all the stress away; to squeeze him until all the tension left his body and he could finally take a reasonable breath, one that wouldn’t put him closer to the edge of hyperventilating. He reached out his hand, letting Eddie have the chance to pull away if he wanted to.

Instead, Steve’s fingers trailed softly along Eddie’s arm until he was grasping at the man’s shoulder. His other hand reached toward his face, brushing along the faint scars at Eddie’s chin. There was so much that Steve admired and adored about Eddie that he never saw in himself, always acting like Eddie had just accidentally stumbled into Steve’s life and he wasn’t sure how or why Steve was staying.

Eddie sighed, and relaxed just a bit into Steve’s touch. It was a start.

“I feel like… like if I lose this, then…” he struggled for the words, looking from Steve’s eyes to the mirror behind him. Steve watched as Eddie’s gaze darkened and took on an edge of panic again before resting once more on Steve, “Then I lose you,” he choked out, trying to pull in another shuddering breath.

“Sweetheart, you could never lose me. I’m practically obsessed with you, if you haven’t noticed,” Steve scoffed. It was astonishing to him that Eddie didn’t realize just how much Steve could stare at him for hours, catalogue every feature; how much Steve craved being so close to Eddie he couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began, like he could melt into the fabric of Eddie’s very being and be completely satisfied.

Steve brought his other hand to Eddie’s face, now cradled between them, and gave his cheeks a light squish. “Babe, you are the kindest, brightest, most hardworking person I’ve ever met in my life. You’ve gone through so much, so much , that would knock people right off their feet and you’re still standing.”

“But what if that’s not good enough?” Eddie mumbled between Steve’s palms.

“For who, Creel ?” Steve scoffed, “I don’t give a fuck what he says, you’ve been on top of your game for ten straight years. You could go on that stage and throw up, and I’d still cheer for you. Hell, if you went up there and kicked Henry Creel in the head I think most of the sponsors would cheer, too, the dude’s a fucking prick.”

Eddie’s eyes darted between his own for a few seconds and Steve could see just how hard the gears in his head were turning. His brow ruffled a bit, pinching in the middle before smoothing out, shoulders relaxing again as he melted into Steve’s touch.

“Well, I might throw up considering I’ve spent my whole warmup having a panic attack,” Eddie chuckled, reaching up to grasp one of Steve’s hands in his own. His palms were sweaty, but he held onto the man like a lifeline, using him as a tether to bring himself back to shore.

“Well, I’ll be here after you clean yourself up.”

“Not before?” Eddie laughed, easing the weight in Steve’s chest.

“Absolutely not, you know I can’t handle vomit even if it’s you,” Steve chuckled, letting Eddie tuck his face into Steve’s neck. He was so relieved that Eddie seemed better, like a string had been cut and the weight was no longer crushing his chest. Steve could feel that he wasn’t shaking anymore, the earthquake his heart was making in his chest had stilled and Steve could feel it thump-thumping gently against his own at a much more reasonable pace.

Reluctantly, he slowly pulled back — hands rubbing soothingly along Eddie’s arms — and walked over to the dressing room door.

“Where are you going?” Eddie asked, an edge of panic bleeding back into his voice.

“Nowhere,” Steve said as he creaked the door open, letting the sounds of music seep into the room. He just wanted to make sure that Eddie still had time, that no one was out there waiting to shove him up onto the stage before he was ready.

“Dance with me?” Steve asked, walking back toward the rockstar, who ducked his head and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Steve held out a hand for him to take, and Eddie placed his own gently on top, snaking his other arm around the man’s shoulders. Steve wrapped his own around Eddie’s waist, pulling them together again, and Eddie thought back to Zeus splitting the humans in half — thought that maybe he was right to fear them if they were as powerful as Steve made Eddie feel when they were together. 

[2012wannabe]

silent beginnings 6

wc: 2518

cw/tw: discussions of stillborn and pregnancy, loss of baby/child, doctors

You both arrive at the doctors office together, the faint sound of a soft female voice greeting patients wafting out into the hall. Abby gives you a gentle nudge encouragingly, and you step inside. You walk up the counter,

“I'm checking in, last name Anderson for 10:00.” The receptionist looked up as you approached, her expression pleasant and professional. She gives us a small smile and a nod.

"Of course, Ms. Anderson. The doctor will be with you momentarily. Please wait right here and a nurse will come and get you."

“Thank you.” Abby takes a seat next to you in the waiting room, her hand resting gently on your thigh as she gives it a light squeeze. She can feel the tension and nervousness rolling off of you and gives you a small reassuring smile. She leans in close and speaks lowly.

"It's going to be okay, baby. Everything is going to be just fine."

“I know but I'm just nervous, but I'm glad I get to see Dr. Patel. She's really nice and I feel very comfortable talking to her.” Abby nods in agreement, her hand still rubbing soothingly against your thigh. She can see the uncertainty in your eyes, the way you're bouncing your leg up and down anxiously. She leans in closer, bringing her mouth to your ear so she's speaking almost in a whisper.

"I understand why you're nervous, and that's okay. Just remember that I'm right here with you, ok? I’ll be here the entire time." You hear your name called and get up nervously, looking at abby. She stands up next to you, keeping a warm, reassuring smile on her face. She can see the nervousness written all over your expression, and she gives you a gentle nudge towards the door.

"Come on. You got this." You take a deep breathe and start to walk into the exam room. The room you enter is fairly standard, a few examination tools on the counter and a few medical pamphlets on various topics along the wall above the exam bed. Abby follows closely behind you, standing just behind your shoulder as you wait for Dr. Patel to arrive. The nurse takes your vitals but all you can pay attention to is the loud beating of your heart. After a moment, the door to the room opens and Dr. Patel enters, her smile warm and familiar as she walks in.

"Ah, Ms. Anderson, it's good to see you again."

“Hi Dr.Patel.” She smiles kindly as she walks over to you, holding a file in her hands.

"Take a seat on the bed for me, please," she says, gesturing to the exam bed in the middle of the room. Once you're seated, she takes a comfortable seat on her own small wheeled chair.

"So, what brings you in today?"

“Um well I was wondering if you'd be able to tell how safe it would be for me to get pregnant again.” Dr. Patel nods, a small look of understanding on her face. She opens your file and glances through the information contained within.

"Of course, that's certainly a valid question. Given the nature of your recovery, it depends on a few different factors. Let's talk a bit more about your healing process. How have you been recovering since the incident? Any pain or discomfort left in your abdomen?"

“No.” Dr. Patel makes a note in your folder, visibly pleased with your answer.

"That's wonderful news, I'm very glad to hear it. And how long has it been since you were cleared to be up and moving around again?"

“My bed rest ended after two weeks but this one has had me taking it easy for way longer.” She laughs a little at your comment, a knowing smile on her face. She closes your file and sets it on the counter behind her, turning back to look at you.

"I can imagine. Well, given that your abdominal muscles and reproductive organs are still in the process of fully healing, it would be best if you waited at least another three or four months absolute minimum before trying again. That allows for the best chances of a safe pregnancy with minimal complications."

“Oh ok.”

"I know that might not be the answer you were hoping for, and and I'm aware that you probably don't want to wait any longer than necessary. But trust me, it's better to ensure your body is fully healed before trying again.Otherwise, you could risk a lot of complications, both for you and the baby."

“And recovery aside I know the doctors at the hospital said it would be... risky. It was suggested to me to get a hysterectomy but I refused.” Dr. Patel nods again, her expression turning more grave. She obviously knows the details of your situation, and she looks empathetic as she speaks.

"I'm aware of the risks involved, and I understand why the doctors in the hospital were concerned enough to recommend a hysterectomy. But I think I know you well enough to know that you'd never agree to something like that."

“Yeah.” She sighs softly, her expression turning more serious.

"If I may ask, why are you so insistent on trying again? It's a question I must ask. I'm not trying to talk you out of it, I just want to understand your reasoning. There are a lot of risks involved with this pregnancy, and I wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger needlessly."

“We want a family. I want us to have to a kid even though it didn't exactly work out the first time.” Dr. Patel nods, her expression sympathetic and understanding.

"I understand that, and it's wonderful that you both have that desire. But I must stress the importance of considering all the risks involved. There's a high likelihood that complications could arise during the pregnancy, and I wouldn't want you to put your life in danger just to satisfy your desire for a child."

“What do you mean by high likelihood?”You say starting to get a bit flustered.

“Would it be safe for me to get pregnant?” She takes a deep breath, her expression more serious now. She knows this is a difficult conversation, but also an important one.

"There's no other way to put it, the rate of complications for someone in your situation is much higher than average. The risk of everything from preterm labor to miscarriage are greatly raised. And that's not even accounting for the health risks of your first birth."

“But it's possible?” Dr. Patel exhales slowly, her expression conflicted.

"Yes, it's possible. I won't lie to you,the odds aren't great, but the possibility is there. However, I want you to understand that the risks involved are significant, and the chance of something going wrong is much higher than it should be. I'm not saying you can't get pregnant, but I'm advising you to be fully aware of what you could be facing." You take a deep breathe before saying,

“Taking what I want out of the equation, what is your recommendation as a medical professional?” Dr. Patel looks at you for a moment, studying your expression closely. After a moment she speaks her voice gentle but firm.

“As a medical professional, I strongly recommend that you consider alternative options to conception. Adoption, foster care, or even surrogacy are all viable possibilities that would eliminate the immense risk factor involved in your situation. I understand that you want a family, and that's an admirable goal. But I want you to prioritize your health and safety, and the potential risks are simply too great."

“But there still is a possibility of it going well?”

“Yes, there is a possibility of it going well. But the chance of that happening is much smaller than it should be. I can't give you exact numbers, but you have to understand the risks involved here. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to discourage you, because I understand how badly you want to have a child. But your health is my primary concern, and I need you to understand that this isn't a decision to be made lightly."

“Ok.” You say looking down. Dr. Patel gently places a hand on your shoulder, her expression sympathetic.

"I know this isn't what you wanted to and I understand that it's difficult to accept. This isn't me telling you that you can never have a child, and it's not me saying that you shouldn't keep trying. This is just me making sure you're aware of the consequences of your decisions, and giving you the information you need to make an informed choice."

“I know and I appreciate you for that.” You say starting to tear up. She smiles gently, giving your shoulder a soft squeeze.

"Hey, it's okay. No need to cry, I understand how emotional this can be. It's only natural that you'd be upset by this news, especially with how badly you want a family. But I want you to know that you're not alone in this process, and whatever decision you make, I'm here to support you through it." You nod and watch as she exits the room. As soon as she leaves you start to sob putting your head in your hands. Abby immediately moves to sit down on the bed next to you, her expression full of worry and concern as she wraps her arms around you in an attempt to comfort you. She holds you tight, gently rubbing your back as you sob into your hands.

"Hey, hey, it's okay...it's gonna be okay...”

“No it's not. You heard her.” You hiccup.

Abby's heart breaks as she sees you falling apart in front of her, but she does her best to keep it together to try and comfort you.

"No, hey, listen to me..." She pulls you against her, holding you tightly as she speaks in an attempt to soothe you.

"It's gonna be okay, I swear. I know it's hard, I know you're upset, but we'll figure it out. We'll get through this together, okay?"

You nod still crying, snot starting to drop from your nose. Abby gently grabs a tissue off the counter and wipes some of the snot from your face, attempting to help you clean up and calm down at least somewhat.

"There you go, deep breaths... It's gonna be fine." She holds you close to her, continuing to rub your back and speak softly, trying to help you stop crying. You take a deep breath trying to calm down she holds you tighter in her arms, still comforting you as she continues speaking softly.

"That's it, just breathe... I'm right here, okay? We'll figure this out together. No matter what happens." You nod collapsing into her embrace and she continues to rub your back and speak soothingly, trying to comfort you as best as she can.

"There you go, let it out. It's okay to be upset, I know this is difficult. But I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." You start to fully calm down and abby helps you up to leave the room, still holding you close to her.

"Come on, let's go home. You don't need to be here anymore."

“Ok.” Abby leads you out of the building and walks you back to the car, still holding your hand. After a few minutes, she turns to you,

"How are you feeling?"

“Sad.” Abby nods slowly, her expression full of understanding and sadness as she opens the passenger door and lets you get in first before getting into the car herself. As she starts the car and begins driving, she glances over at you again, continuing to speak gently.

"I know you're sad, it's completely understandable... I wish there was something more I could say or do to make you feel better."

“Me too.” You whisper,

“but there's nothing either of can do.”

Abby nods, her heart breaking as she hears the sadness in your voice. She continues driving, keeping her hand on the wheel but stealing glances at you every few seconds. After a moment she responds in a soft voice,

"I know. And that sucks... I hate seeing you like this, and not being able to do anything to make it better."

“I still want to try.” Abby takes a deep breath as she hears your words, her heart still aching for you. But she knows that your determination to keep trying comes from your deep desire for a family.

"I know you do. And I understand why you want to keep trying. But you heard what Dr. Patel said, the risk is just too high. I don't want to see you put yourself through that, especially with a high chance of it all going wrong. You could get seriously hurt, or worse..."

“She also that there was a chance it could go well. Albeit lower, but there is still a chance. Please Abby.” Her expression remains conflicted, her heart torn between wanting you to be safe and wanting to support your desires. She pauses for a moment before responding, struggling to find the right words to say.

"I know...but the chance of it going well is so small. And the risk is so high. I don't want to lose you, I can't bear the thought of something going wrong. Especially after what happened the first time..."

“Give me one more chance please. I'll wait another four months like she said and if it doesn't work I won't get pregnant again but I can't give up!” Tears fill Abby's eyes as she hears your pleading. She wants to protect you and keep you safe, but she also understands how desperately you want this.

"I..." She stops, taking a moment to collect herself.

"Okay... okay, I'll give you one more chance. But I need you to promise me that if it doesn't work, you'll stop. No more trying." Your eyes fill with tears again and you hug her fiercely. Abby hugs you back tightly, her own tears starting to fall. She holds you close, her heart breaking as she feels your pain.

"Promise me, okay? Promise me this is the last time you'll try. I can't stand the thought of something bad happening to you."

“I promise.” Abby nods, holding you closer as she replies softly.

"Okay... okay. I trust you. Just please, be careful. And if anything feels wrong, you have to tell me, okay? I don't care if it's the smallest thing, you have to let me know if something doesn't feel right. Promise me that."

“I promise baby.”

"Good... okay. I love you, you know that right? No matter what happens, I just want you to be safe and healthy. That's all that matters to me."

“I love you too.” You sniffle. Abby continues holding you tight, stroking your hair gently as she responds softly.

"I know you do. And I know how much you want a family, I do too. I just... just want to make sure you're careful, okay? I don't want to lose you."

[byoldervine]

What I’ve learned from a year of writing goals

My New Years’ Resolutions for 2024 were all related to my writing, and I’m pleased to say that I completed most of them. They all taught me new things about myself as a writer so I thought I’d share them in an end-of-year round up. I’ll go over each one and what it taught me

Goal 1: Write at least 1000 words every week ✅

This was the main goal I had, and the intention behind it was to make sure I was writing consistently, and therefore making consistent progress. Even if I wrote the minimum for each week, that’d still be 52K words written during the year - and that’s guaranteed, not a few thousand cranked out all at once until I’m burnt out followed by months of inactivity

I found that watching my word count increase so often was actually really motivating for me personally, though I’d expected it to be more daunting at first. And some days I’d write a lot more than just the 1K, which was even more exciting. I remember one day I was so excited and inspired for one particular chapter that I cranked out the entire thing in one go, and that was so much fun. Other days I’d be struggling to even get through the 1000 words because I just wasn’t inspired or motivated enough, or I’d have writer’s block

What I found helped get over this was knowing I didn’t have to necessarily like what I wrote, just that I had to meet 1000 words by the end of the week, so I’d always sit down for a proper writing session every Monday morning - if I couldn’t get over a mental block, I had plenty of time to set it aside and come back another day before the deadline came up. Usually, however, I’d complete it all in one sitting, which was another really motivating thing. I could then spend the rest of the week doing other things so I wouldn’t get burnt out on writing or worrying about not being productive enough

One downside I did encounter was that, once I’d complete the goal for the week, I’d not want to go back to it until the next week rolled around - it almost felt like it wasn’t worth starting a new writing session if it wouldn’t contribute to the goal. That’s something I’d like to counter in future by coming up with further incentives for additional writing sessions or going over the goal

Goal 2: Have a draft of 90K+ words by the end of the year ✅

I chose 90K as my desired word count because fantasy novels usually have a 90K word count on the low end, so it seemed sensible to aim for that. I started the year with around 45K words - meaning my goal was for an additional 45K and therefore very much achievable in 52 weeks - and now I’m ending it on 110K, making for a difference of around 65,000 words

I think it was around September that I reached 90K, and I was so excited about it; I’d already completed one of my goals and it wasn’t even close to the deadline. But there was something strange going on at this point in time; I’d reached one of my word count goals, but I wasn’t even close to finishing the story yet. Even now I can’t say that I’m even quite in the end game yet. I ended up writing a lot more than I planned - and that’s okay, because it’s only a first draft right now, and because of that I want to focus more on quantity than quality

I think having this goal was really motivating while it was in effect, because seeing myself getting closer and closer to that seemingly unattainable number was exciting and made me feel really proud of myself. I think reaching that goal a lot sooner than I planned taught me a lot about how I’m more capable than I previously thought, and that I should give myself more credit and trust myself to overcome more daunting challenges. This goal gave me a lot more confidence in my process

Goal 3: Finish the first draft by the end of the year ❌

This was the only goal that I wasn’t able to complete; I’m still a good few chapters away from finishing the draft

I think what influenced this the most was my pacing; as time went on and I began to write more for quantity than quality, and new plots and subplots were hitting different beats, the pacing began to fluctuate and I became more heavy on the description. I also wanted to ensure I added plenty of downtime for the characters to break apart the constant calamity and busywork and, well, they have a lot of walking to do as they travel, so it was easy to throw in around the main plot

I’m not disappointed about failing this goal because it means that I’ve taken the time to put real effort into my work rather than rushing it to meet some deadline, as well as given myself a lot to work with when editing and improving. Unlike with the 90K goal, I’d much rather fail to meet the deadline than succeed with months to spare. I’ve still gotten significantly far in this time, and I’m proud of myself for putting in so much effort, and I think having additional goals beyond just ‘finish everything by X time’ helps with that; I can still see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished via the other goals that encourage me to take my time

I still absolutely want to complete the draft, and coming as far as I have is further motivation to get it done. There’s something really special about working so hard for so long on something but still finding that joy and excitement to continue rather than burnout, and it’s not something I’m all that used to experiencing. By now I’ve usually grown tired of a project and left it, but I’m still going strong with this one and I’m still incredibly passionate about it. And I think that having this goal only to not quite meet it is helping me to appreciate this; I’m not upset about it, but actually looking forward to having further opportunities to continue. I really should stop calling it ‘failing’, since I count this as an overall win even if I didn’t make the deadline

What I’ve learned

I think persevering with these goals in mind all year has been very eye-opening for me as to how I like to progress with my writing; I can be consistent, I can get more done than I think, I can be excited about a project even after a whole year of ‘making myself’ write. These goals have boosted my confidence not only in my abilities to write, but as a writer

I love my story and my characters, and coming back to them so often and so frequently has been a blessing in getting to know them and reaffirming just how wonderful the writing process is. When I love what I’m writing, I can churn out a lot at once, and that didn’t impact my ability to come back and keep writing more, though I thought it would. I was also consistently getting a sense of accomplishment from meeting my weekly word counts, updating my word count every chapter, etc, which made the process feel rewarding and something I could take pride in. It felt big and productive, but the process stayed just as simple as always, even if it wasn’t always as easy

Based on everything, one thing I want to improve upon in future is ensuring that I continue to write even when it won’t contribute to a weekly word count. Setting additional goals or otherwise incentivising additional writing sessions is something I want to experiment with with any future attempts at these goals

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 8: Rain Run—The Prophecy (BoB Fanfiction)

A/N: Admittedly, I don't think you're going to like this chapter very much (oops). That being said, please be aware that there is some harassment that goes down in this chapter that aligns with the tags! Thank you so much and as always, please let me know what you think! Happy December! The moodboard is Winnie and her youngest brother Charlie!

Late Spring

Dear Roo (that is how you start letters, right? With a dear?), 

Texas is so damn hot! I know that you’re probably shakin’ your head about me swearin’ in the first line of the letter, but it’s the truth!  They’re lookin’ at transferrin’ us over to Nebraska in a few weeks for further processing.  I knew that the military would be tough (Richie said as much), but I didn’t think it was going to be THIS hard. 

I’m definitely one of the youngest here, but I’m making friends fast, I promise!  I know you said that I should find myself the most skilled pilots and stick close with them, so that’s what I’m trying to do.  There’s this guy here, Bucky—and he’s somethin’ straight out of New York.  I think you’d probably not like him very much, but he’s a damn good pilot. 

Have you heard from Cindy much at all?  I know she said that she’d write me, but I haven’t gotten any of her letters yet.  Maybe I’m just impatient, but that girl is sweeter than a damn peach and I miss her and her curls.  I won’t write too much about her—I know you’re not the sentimental type. 

Don’t worry, I go to church services every Sunday with you in mind.  I know you’d find a way to find me and wring my neck if I missed services.  Though I wonder, the more I hear about what’s going on in Europe and in the Pacific—if any of it really means anything.  Don’t go gettin’ mad at me for expressing it.  I’m just curious, that’s all. 

Anyways, I hope that you’re doing well in Toccoa (even if it is in the middle of nowhere, Georgia).  Please tell me that you’ve managed to make at least one friend?  And if not, that you’ve broken someone’s nose?  That sounds like something my fearless Roo would do.  Anyways, let me know!  Hope to hear from you soon—and maybe when we get leave, I can drop back and see you.  But I’d probably go and see Cindy first if that doesn’t bother you too much.  I’m running out of space and time on this line, so I’ll just end it here!

Love, 

Charlie 

P.S.—their cooking is WAY worse than yours is.  I’d take your burnt meatloaf any day, sis. 

Winnie just chuckled at the letter, a rare show of emotion on her face.  Charlie could ramble when he wanted to.  He was always the most vivacious little kid, stealing blueberry pies right off of people’s windowsills and cutting flowers from people’s yards just for her. He was sweet and that sweetness had a violent edge to it.  He got in more fights than anyone in the family, despite her and Richie’s best interventions.  And that also included Nate—who thought that fighting was fun to an extent. 

But he was still just a kid.  Barely 18 and now gone off to fight in a war—or at least, be trained to fight in one.  It would still be another year, minimum, until he’d be out in England.  And she’d take that any day over losing him right now. 

Setting the letter down, Winnie glanced at the clock.  She still had some time before breakfast would start and she needed to be up. She could start penning her letter back to him.  Briefly, her mind wandered to Charlie’s girlfriend, Cindy. Cindy had been a local girl when they moved from downtown Buford to the richer neighborhoods.  She was a sweet girl, really—

But Winnie didn’t think that sweet equated to faithful or loyal. 

She hoped that for Charlie’s sake, he would get a letter from her soon.  But Winnie wasn’t holding out any hope for that kinda thing.  Still, it was easier to deal with Cindy than it was to deal with a whole string of brokenhearted strumpets that Nate had left behind—

Not that they were actually strumpets, Winnie just knew that they had one thing on their minds. And she hadn’t raised her boys to be like that. 

Thunder rumbled in the distance and Winnie fully sat up, ready to head out for breakfast.  The rain outside pattered against the windows and left everyone in a particularly glum mood for the day. It continued well past breakfast and into the afternoon, when lunch was being served.  Upon Winnie’s arrival into the mess hall, her suspicions of the day were immediately confirmed by the look of distaste on both Reba and Eileen’s faces, the fact that Dick Winters was in the kitchen, and the fact that there was a spaghetti meal being served. 

Sliding into the table with the nurses, Winnie glanced at their small portions.  “Not eating much today either?” 

Reba just sniffed in annoyance.  “You didn’t hear?” 

“Hear what?” 

“They did a contraband bust on the nurses this morning after you left for breakfast.  If Sobel’s gonna make the men run, we’re sure as hell gonna be running with them,” Eileen stated evenly.  “So no, we’re not eating very much.” 

Winnie just let out a slight breath.  “Figures,” she mumbled in slight annoyance.  “What did they get the nurses for anyway?” 

“Unsanctioned lipstick tubes and nylons.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Winnie deadpanned. “What do they expect you to be?  Nuns?” 

“Don’t give them the idea, thank you,” Reba retorted, giving Winnie a light kick to the shin. 

Winnie glanced at the other nurses plates, eying the hue of the noodles.  “My gramps was Italian but I don’t think it’s supposed to be that color.” 

“Well I don’t think the army is trying to imitate the Italians, Doc,” Eileen said with a small smile.  

“Well they’re currently under a fascist regime, so I don’t blame them,” Winnie said, flashing a smirk. 

Just then, Sobel came storming in and blowing a whistle—the men would be running Currahee and the nurses, for their part in contraband, would be running another hill.  “Dividing and conquering, huh?” Reba’s brow ticked ever so slightly. 

The group of nurses—about fifteen of them or so, and Winnie—trudged through the mud and back to the barracks.  They changed into the exercise gear that they had been allowed, and then trudged their way through Camp Toccoa towards one of the smaller hills.  Waiting there was another one of the captains—though Winnie didn’t recognize the man.  

At least this way, there weren’t men staring at their legs or their asses or their chests.  This was a win in every sense of the word—even if the run in the rain was going to be a treacherous slope.  Winnie kept a steady pace in the front, encouraging Reba and Eileen as they went. If they could just keep going right now, then they’d be done for the rest of the day. 

As they jogged up the hill, Reba glanced her way, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.  “You got a letter earlier—you don’t usually get letters.” 

Winnie nearly grinned at that, keeping pace.  “I get plenty of letters, I just usually don’t leave them out where you can see them.” 

“A boyfriend?  A husband?” Eileen questioned on her other side. 

“Baby brother.” 

“Oh that’s kinda boring—unless he’s cute,” Eileen added, eyes flashing in Winnie’s direction hopefully. 

“He’s 18, you’d be bored out of your mind.” 

Reba gave a roll of her eyes.  “That wouldn’t stop Eileen and you know it.  Besides, Eil, you’re only 21—that’s not too much older.” 

“Over my dead body,” Winnie said, pumping her legs up the next stretch of steep hill.  

“Oh don’t be funny—” Eileen insisted, nearly slipping. 

Winnie realized she was slipping at the last second possible—and Winnie caught Eileen by the elbow. If the weather had been dry and there wasn’t a ridiculous amount of mud, Winnie was certain they would have stuck the landing. Unfortunately for the two of them, the mud would not allow for a smooth landing. 

Eileen’s grip sent them both crashing into the mud, nearly slipping into the rest of the nurses.  The rest of the nurses stopped at the sight of the two of them taking a spill into the mud–and for a moment, Winnie and Eileen just sat there, caked in mud and staring at each other with wide eyes.  And then Eileen burst into a clear laugh, smashing mud on Winnie’s face. 

“Hey!” Winnie exclaimed, letting a laugh spill from her lips.  She flung mud right back on Eileen and for just a shining moment, this was not a war. 

This was just two little girls who were forced to grow up too fast.  And they were having fun. 

And then Reba was urging them to get up, eyes wide.  “We’ve got a Captain coming!  Get up, get up!” She exclaimed. 

At that, Winnie shot to her feet, immediately helping Eileen up.  She didn’t mind the fact that mud was caked down her long legs or sticking from her hair.  They had slipped and it was an honest mistake in this rain and mud.  “Let’s finish the run and then we’ll get to a shower,” she said, nudging Eileen. 

Eileen just gave a grin.  “You do have a fun side,” she decided, flipping her braids at Winnie dramatically. 

“Getting down and dirty in the mud isn’t exactly what I’d qualify as fun,” Winnie replied evenly, but the grin on her face remained.  “But I do have a fun side.  Occasionally.  Let’s keep that on wraps for right now.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had waited until every last man from Easy Company was done with the showers before making their way in there.  Given the fact that they had more hair and a little bit more flexibility in their schedules, it was also just the logical move to make. And this way, men didn’t get any ideas of waiting around to sneak a peek at them.  

The water was lukewarm, almost cold by the time that they finally got into the showers.  Winnie’s nails scraped against her scalp quickly, focusing on getting clean as quickly as possible.  After all—they only had fifteen minutes before they were set to be back in the medical huts and teaching another class to the medics. 

Winnie didn’t mind the temperature of the water.  Back home, most of her showers had been ice cold—she had always insisted on her brothers showering first before she got her turn.  That hadn’t changed until she had gotten a divorce—at which point, Richie had put up a good argument and started advocating that she get the shower first.  It was a noble gesture, but that was just who her brother was. 

Turning off the water, Winnie spared a glance in Eileen’s direction.  “You almost done?” 

“Just about.” 

“I’ll go grab our clothes, then,” Winnie replied, shivering slightly as she wrapped a towel around her and set out for where they had left their clothes, just beyond the row of lockers.  She turned the corner, eyes landing on the empty bench that sat in the middle of the lockers—no clothing to be seen. 

For a moment, she just stared at it, jaw ticking. 

And then one Captain Sobel stepped forward, a bundle of clothing in hand and an unreadable expression on his face. “Looking for these?” 

Oh so that’s how he wanted to play things. 

Winnie kept an even expression, jaw tightening at the sight of him holding the clothing that she and Eileen needed.  “Yes, sir.” 

His gaze trained on her like some sort of predatory thing and her blood curdled at the sensation.  “Rather careless of you to just leave them sitting here.” 

“That’s where they’re supposed to go while one showers,” Winnie retorted.  She didn’t fail to notice the way that his gaze swept over her legs and up onto her shoulders and chest. 

Sobel just gave a nod.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll give them back.  I just want you to answer a few questions.  For every question you answer, I’ll give you an article of clothing back.” 

Winnie had half a mind to punch him—though that certainly wouldn’t have ended well for her.  She didn’t though.  She just stood there for a moment—and the thought of being humiliated and degraded like this, it wasn’t something that she could bear.  And she wouldn’t subject Eileen to that either. 

“Eat shit,” Winnie retorted.  “Sir.” 

Sobel’s face tightened at the words.  “Fine.” With that, he turned on his heel and walked away with the clothing articles in hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reba had waited a whole five minutes after the class was supposed to have started before losing her patience.  It was one thing for Eileen to be late—it had happened a few times and Eileen always turned up.  But for Winnie to also be late?  Now that wasn’t something that was possible.  Winnie was a hard-ass about being places on time and getting the job done effectively and efficiently. 

So for both of them to be missing meant that there must have been a reason behind it.  And God forgive her, but Reba worried what it meant.  Her gaze trained onto the medics, patiently waiting for Winnie and Eileen to make their appearance. 

Her foot tapped impatiently and then Reba rose, gaze sweeping over them.  “Roe‚ you’re with me.  The rest of you, get working on tourniquets.” 

Roe was quick to rise to his feet, following after her.  “What is it, Nurse Garrett?” He questioned curiously. 

Reba’s gaze locked onto him, annoyance shooting through her.  Truth be told, she’d rather handle the entire thing on her own.  But she also knew that Doc Allen—Winnie—happened to like Roe better than the other medics, even if she wouldn’t admit it.  There was something to be said for his candor and quiet loyalty.  

“We’re gonna go find Doc and Eileen,” Reba retorted.  “I’d go alone, but I could use another set of eyes.” 

At that, Roe gave a nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 

It took them a whole fifteen minutes of scouring the camp before Reba had a thought occur to her that she didn’t altogether like.  She led the way towards the showers, nearly grumbling under her breath the entire time.  The annoyance and frustration was not missed by Roe, who wisely kept his mouth shut.  

Coming to a stop in front of the showers, Reba considered her options. If there were, in fact, naked men inside the showers—Reba would survive.  She had administered shots to a good number of men anyway and seeing men in that state of undress wasn’t unheard of.  However—if Winnie and Eileen were indeed in the showers, she didn’t want Roe going in there and making them uncomfortable. 

“Alright, I’m going in.  Can you just—wait here for a minute?” Reba questioned, gaze falling on him again. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Reba gave a dry smile and set into the shower hut, tapping lightly on the lockers as she walked forward.  “Hey, Doc?” 

“Oh thank God,” came Eileen’s voice from the other side. “Our clothes got stolen!” She exclaimed. 

Almost immediately, Reba felt a flash of fury rise up in her.  “Those sons of bitches—” She mumbled out.  “Alright, I’m gonna have Roe guard the door.  I’ll get you some clothes.” 

“Just be quick,” Winnie commanded in an annoyed tone. 

By the time that Reba returned with the clothes in hand, it was clear that Roe had a clear idea of what had gone on.  And by the time that Winnie and Eileen exited the showers—with Eileen’s cheeks still tinged pink, Winnie was ready to raise some sort of hell.  Winnie stepped outside, wondering how the hell she was supposed to get those articles of clothing back from Sobel. 

Her gaze immediately dropped onto Roe, who stood there patiently, jaw and fists clenched.  “Thank you for the assistance, Roe,” Winnie stated curtly.  “You’ll keep this little interaction to yourself.” 

“Ma’am?” He asked in surprise. 

“I”ll handle it.  I always do,” Winnie said.  “Now let’s get you back to medic training.  Eileen’s taking the rest of the afternoon off.” 

Roe just stared at Doc Allen for a moment, wondering how she could be so calm and collected under the circumstances.  He had sisters—and if this had happened to them, he would have pitched a fit and thrown a few fists around.  They would have been crying.  But not Doc Allen—she was a cold woman with the focus that only God could give.  He admired the fact that she could pull herself together so quickly and not get emotional about the situation.  

“I’ll follow your lead, ma’am,” Roe finally stated. 

“Good.” 

[abbatoirablaze]

Behind Closed Doors, Chapter 12

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings:  mentions of breastfeeding (Not sexual)

“Hey baby, what are you looking at?” you asked as you bounced baby Jefferson on your hip.  But your fiancé turned quickly, shielding his laptop with his body.  Your brow raised and he slid out from behind the table, rushing the two of you.  You swooned as he cupped your face and kissed you deeply.

“Just a few things,” he smiled as he pulled away and turned his attention to your newborn, “and what are you doing up, little man?  Didn’t want to go down for nap time with your siblings?  Are you giving mommy a hard time?”

“He’s been fussy all morning…I think he might be getting a temperature too…” you frowned, “the perils of having kids in daycare two days a week to socialize…they bring home every germ imaginable.”

Sebastian frowned and put his hand on your son’s cheek. 

He hummed, “he does seem a little warm…do you want me to run to the store for some baby-“

“I’m monitoring it…but I might take you up on that later after the kid’s naps.  I think Shayla and Johnny picked up more than just the sniffles from daycare and they’re passing it around to Jack and now Jeffy.  Before they went down for naps, Jack was saying that his tummy was upset.  I think we might have the full-blown flu on our hands, Mr. Stan.”

“I can run down to the corner store before they get up, honey…it’s no problem,” he offered, concern lacing his features, “pick up some chicken noodle soup and Pedialyte too?  It’d probably be better that I go now.”

“Are you sure?”  you asked, “I don’t want to bug you if-“  

He chuckled, “It’s no problem at all, baby.  It’s just around the block…and anyways…it’s better we do it while they’re out so that we can both be here when they wake up.  Tag team this virus and send it away from our babies.”

“You’re such a good daddy!” you swooned, leaning onto your tiptoes to kiss him once more, “you sure you don’t mind?”

“It’s all part of the job!” he smirked, “making love to my beautiful fiancé.  Battling the flu with her.  Making sure our babies are happy and healthy.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“God when you talk like that it makes me want another one…”

He smirked a little more as he reached for his wallet and phone on the table, “don’t tease  me, honey.  You know I’ll take you up on making another little Stan in a heartbeat.”

You laughed once more as he pressed a kiss to Jefferson’s forehead and started for the door.

“See you in a few.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too!” he echoed, before making his way out of the apartment.  You stayed where you were, looking at the door for a moment, before Jefferson’s gurgles brought you from your thoughts.

“I know,” you cooed softly at him, “we’re so lucky to have him, aren’t we?  Daddy’s such a good man, isn’t he?”

Your four-month-old gurgled even more, and then he laid on your chest.  You sighed to yourself, saddened by how exhausted your youngest one was.

“It’s okay baby boy…you just rest…”

He started whimpering a little and his little lips puckered. 

“Okay…I get it!” you cooed, “I wouldn’t want to take a nap without being fed first either.”  

You made your way over to the table and sat down on one of the chairs.  You were quick to lower your top so that your son could nurse. 

His whimpers faded away as he latched on, and you softly smoothed down his hair and began humming to him. 

But your attention wasn’t solely focused on your baby boy. 

Sebastian’s laptop was still open, but on it you saw listings for homes in upstate New York. 

Your brow furrowed. 

You minimized the screen, and you noticed a series of messages from a realtor, all of them including links to different homes, which Sebastian would veto and send back additional features that he thought the house must have. 

Large plot of land.

Room for expansion.

Minimum four bedrooms to start.

Two car garage at least.

Large Kitchen.

Spacious.

A den that could be utilized as an office.

Large dining room. 

“Honey?”

You hadn’t even realized that Sebastian was back.  Your lips parted but you said nothing.  Your eyes went back and forth from the screen to your significant other.

“I-I was planning on telling you…” he admitted softly as he put the two bags down on the table, “I wanted to wait until I had a few solid options.”

“A house?”

“Honey, we’re kind of starting to get cramped in the apartment,” he chuckled, his eyes moving to the direction of the second bedroom where three of your four children were sleeping, “even with Shayla and Johnny sharing a room and Jack and Jefferson sharing the old office it can’t stay that way for long. Shayla’s going to grow up one day and need a room for herself.  And if we really do want more children-“

“I do…”

He smiled softly, “me too…but if we want that…then we have to prepare for it.”

“You’d be okay with moving upstate?” you asked, “You love the city.  You grew up here.”

“If it means that we can continue to build our family and build on our future, I’m more than okay with it, (Y/N.) but I also want something else…”

“Wh-what?”

“I want you to do something that you’ve been putting off.”

You looked down to Jefferson, who had fallen asleep, still latched onto you, “S-Sebastian…they’re too young…I can’t get my GED or go to college and get my degree…I-“

“You said that you always wanted to do it…and you’re still young, (Y/N.)  I could take some time off so that you could study for your GED and take your test…and then you could do online classes…I could hire a nanny to help you out.  I-“

“I don’t want someone else raising our kids, Sebastian.”

“Then I’ll do more!” he promised.  “They’re old enough that they can come with us and-“

“Johnny and Shayla start kindergarten next school year, Sebastian,” you reminded him, “tha-that’s in eight months.”

“Then we have eight months to get you started.  We have time for you to get your GED at the very least,” he offered, “you can focus on that, and I can keep working with a realtor…and we can get settled in a house before the twins start school…”

“But leaving the city?”

“I know…it took me a second to get used to it too,” he admitted, “but it’s what is best for the kids.  We’ve always talked about how we didn’t really think city life would be the best for them.  But we never did anything about it.  But now’s the time, (Y/N), If we do it now, before they have those ties and friends and everything-“

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed, instantly falling on board with his plan, “you’re right…I mean…it is the perfect time…and you’re home…not doing any projects right now.  I-I could get my GED at the very least…and you could get some real prospects for a forever home for us…one where we could raise the kids…but…if we do that…we have to do something else too…”

“Name it,” he agreed, “whatever it is, we’ll do it, baby.”

“If we do that…we have to take a break trying for more children,” you admitted, “I-I won’t be able to focus on the kids and study for my GED if I’m knocked up and preparing to bring another one into the world…and we’ll have to put the wedding on hold…we can’t do too much, Sebastian.”

“You know…if we put the wedding on hold…we could wait until we’re in the new house…and after you get your GED…” he shrugged, “we could get a yard big enough to rent one of those big tents and have the reception there…”

“Add a gazebo to your list, Stan…” you teased, “I always thought the idea of getting married in a gorgeous gazebo covered in flowers to be especially dreamy.”

He broke out into another soft smile.  Making his way around the table he leaned down and pressed another soft kiss to your lips, “I love you so much, (Y/N).”

“Will you still love me after you’ve bought us a house and we get old?”

“I’ll love you until my last breath, (Y/N.)”

“How did I ever get so lucky to find a man like you in this world, Sebastian Stan?”

“I was the lucky one,” he promised softly, before looking down at his sleeping son, “I’ve got the most amazing woman in the world…and she’s already given me four even more amazing children…nothing else matters but you and our little family.”

Chapter 13

[b00knerd1o1]

Finding A Balance:

Summary:

Opposites attract, Right? At least that's the case with Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair. As the two girls date, they're forced to find activities they both enjoy, Which is harder than it looks.

“Are you not cold?” Enid asks, pulling the jacked she had borrowed from Wednesday tighter around her shoulders.

“Freezing,” Wednesday replies.

“Take it back then,” Enid says, flinging the coat off. “It’s my fault I didn’t bring a jacket.”

“Nonsense, Enid,” Wednesday says, pushing it back. “I insisted on the location of our picnic being a surprise; you had no way of knowing you should have brought one. Besides, I quite enjoy the feeling.”

“Oh.” Enid hesitantly puts the jacket back on. “Well, thanks for putting this all together. The food’s great.”

“Of course. I researched werewolf’s nutritional needs and preferences and observed your eating habits during meal time to ensure I got it right.”

Enid looks down at her stake. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Wednesday.”

“Don’t compliment me on the bare minimum, Enid. I’m not a man.”

Enid holds off on taking another bite of her food so that her laughter can clear. “Of course. I’ll restrain myself to only to complement the extraordinary things about you, but I’ll still never run out.”

“I doubt that.”

“Oh really?” Enid says, ready to make a fool of herself, listing everything she finds endearing about Wednesday.

“It’s implausible that anyone, especially me, could possess enough positive traits for someone to list for all eternity.”

“Are you doubting my abilities?” Enid says playfully, leaning towards Wednesday.

“My statement was clearly about my unagreeable personality, not your ability to list the traits others contain that you enjoy.”

At the beginning of their relationship, Wednesday’s brazen attitude, refusal to sugarcoat anything, and penchant for getting straight to the point had unsettled Enid; she had never met anyone like Wednesday and was completely unsure how to act around the other girl. Over time she had become used to the other girl’s straightforwardness and even enjoyed it. The realization had hit after the disastrous parents’ weekend. 

Her mother had constantly skirted around the topic of her wolfing out, rarely directly bringing it up but always hinting at and eluding to it. She never felt like she could point it out since it would mean she had brought it up, and in her mother’s eye, that meant she had free reign to say whatever she wanted, no matter how hurtful. During that week, being around Wednesday had been a reprieve. She could relax, not worrying about any hidden meaning behind the other girl’s words and actions. It had taken her until the day she almost lost Wednesday to realize that those feelings weren’t only of friendship but of love.

“I’ll give you one right now,” Enid says. “You’re the only person I could enjoy a picnic in a cemetery with.” Enid gestures to their surroundings to prove her point.

“In the late nineteenth century, it was common to visit your local cemetery to have a snack since many communities did not have proper public recreational areas. The practice only fell out of favor within society due to the push for more public spaces and the negative associations that have arisen around death in the past hundred years.”

“There’s another one!” Enid proclaims. “You know so many cool little facts about everything!”

“That’s not something uniquely attributed to me; it’s a common trait of many autistic people. Some even find our penchant for delivering them whenever we see fit quite annoying.”

“Well, I think it’s adorable. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly ableist,” Enid says, smiling brightly at Wednesday. When she looks down to cut another piece off her stake, she realizes she has finished it. Wednesday had finished her meal a while ago, but Enid doesn’t say anything. If she brings attention to the fact that they are both done, it could mean the date is almost over, and she’s not ready for that.

“You’re finished. Perfect.” Wednesday says, and Enid’s shoulders drop. “I’ve prepared an activity for us to do if you wish to stay longer.” Enid perks up as soon as she hears Wednesday’s words.

“Really!” Enid says as Wednesday reaches into the picnic basket that she had brought.

“Of course.” Wednesday pulls out a stack of paper and a brightly colored box of crayons wrapped in a black napkin. “We can search the graveyard for interesting graves and make crayon rubbings. We could even make it a competition if you want to. I set our blanket in the center of the cemetery. We could pick sides and see who can find the oldest person.”

“I’d rather do it together,” Enid says, sliding closer to Wednesday but making sure not to bump into her. Over time, Enid realized that Wednesday wasn’t necessarily averted to touch, just touch she couldn’t control. Ever since Enid had come to the realization, she always let Wednesday make the first contact and then work from there.

Wednesday smiles and places her hand atop Enids while pressing their shoulders together. “What color crayon do you want?”

“Do I have to choose just one?” Enid says as they stand.

“We will likely make multiple rubbings, so you can use a new one each time.” Enid smiles and grabs the crayon box from Wednesday. Before she picks her first crayon, she grabs the black one for Wednesday, not wanting her girlfriend to accidentally touch one of the colorful ones.

“Thank you,” Wednesday says when Enid hands her the crayon. It only takes them a second of walking through the graveyard to find their first victim.

“Look, they died on December thirty-first nineteen ninety-nine.”

“I guess Y2K was true for them,” Wednesday says as she hands Enid a sheet of paper.

“I wonder If they died at 11:59 PM?” Enid says as she places the paper on the headstone

“Statistically, no, but it’s fun to wonder.” When she’s finished, Enid carefully hands the paper to Wednesday, so her skin won’t touch the colorful markings and switches her pink crayon for a blue.

The two walk around alternating between Wednesday’s black and Whatever color enid chooses.

“Dorm curfew is in an hour, and as much as I love sneaking around and bending the rules, we should probably start back to Nevermoor soon. We have time for one more,” Wednesday says.

Enid deflates a little bit. “Alright, let’s make it the best yet.”

“You do realize we won’t be parting ways once we return to campus? We are roommates, Enid.”

“I know, but this is so nice. I never want it to end.” Wednesday looks over to Enid, about to say something, but her eyes slip further into the distance. “What is it?” Enid asks, turning to look in the direction her girlfriend is staring.

“I think I found our final gravestone.” Enid follows Wednesday as she walks over to an old-looking grave near the cemetery entrance. The only thing of note on the headstone seems to be an oval-headed figure with wings at the top. Enid notices a faded phrase under the figure in the last seconds before Wednesday presses the blank paper to the old marble.

“What does it say near the top?”

“Momento Mori. It’s Latin for remember you will die.” Enid’s face pales to almost the same shade as her girlfriends when she hears the words.

“Why would someone want that on their grave?” She squeaks, moving to hide behind Wednesday.

“Pilgrims, mainly the puritans, would have it engraved on their tombstones as a reminder to all that saw to be humble and stay righteous because death could grip you at any moment. The figure of a winged skull would accompany most, but this one lacks the skull aspect of the iconography. Discounting the religious aspect, this is one of the few things I approved of the pilgrims.” Enid places her hand on Wednesday’s shoulder as even more color drains from her face. “Don’t faint, Enid. I didn’t bring the smelling salts with me.”

“I’m not going to faint. I just need a second.”

“Do you need to sit?”

“Ya, that would help.” Enid sinks to the ground with Wednesday’s help. After she finishes the rubbing, she helps Enid to her feet, and they begin their walk back to Nevermore. “This really was amazing Wednesday. Thank you so much for planning it.”

“It was nothing. The homework for the past week has been elementary, so I simply spent the time I would normally allot to it on planning this. It was quite enjoyable to venture to the cemetery last night to find the perfect spot for us to eat.”

“That’s where you were.”

“I also took the time to collect the supplies for our date.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to live up to this next week.”

“Being with you is enough. I would be overjoyed to sit with you and do homework. I will adore anything you choose.”

Read the rest here:

[rge-nini]

15:21 (S.JY)

pairing: jake sim x reader

word count: 1078

tags: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, study date

a/n: this was my first (and only) timestamp lmao. originally posted on @heelvsme

"When you solve this equation you have to use X and Y on this other one." Your best friend was looking at your worksheet over your shoulder, right hand holding the pencil he was using to point at the numbers and letters, while his left one rested on the back of your chair as he stood behind you. The explanation he was giving to you soon got lost, his words becoming nothing but background noise as you could only focus on his proximity and the way his breath tickled your neck and cheeks as he spoke. Your eyes fixated on the paper laying on the table, the numbers and letters meaning nothing to you when you closed your eyes, as if that would make your feelings for Sim Jaeyun -your best friend- go away.

When you opened your eyes his hand appeared in front of them, moving up and down as he tried to get your attention back. "You there?" You could practically hear the grin on his face when he spoke, which made you throw your hand back, hoping to hit him on the shoulder, the 'ow' he let out letting you know you hit your target. "I deserved it?" The chuckle that left his mouth made butterflies appear on your stomach as you turned around to face him. "Yeah, yeah." You waved your hand dismissively. "Can you explain it again? I got a little distracted." You admitted, looking away from his face and missing the way his eyes drifted to your lips for a moment before coming back up.

"Of course." He smiled even if you weren't looking, this time choosing to sit by your side instead of standing, hands reaching for the paper on the table. "Pay attention this time." He joked earning him another hit on the shoulder as he laughed at the expected reaction. "I hate you." You glared at him and this time it was him that missed the way you eyed his lips, his eyes on the math problem he was helping you with. A part of you hoped he would catch you looking, and little did you know he did too, maybe that way you would move on, be it because of rejection or because a move was finally made. 

A few minutes later the grip you had on your pencil loosened, making it fly away as you threw your hands in the air. "I can't do this anymore, it's time for a break." You declared, making Jake turn his attention away from his own work, now focused on you. "It's barely 3 pm." It almost sounded as if he was complaining, something that wouldn't surprise you due to his love for math. "And? I think it's time to watch a movie or something." You crossed your arms over your chest, a frown on your face trying to show how serious you were and he called your name in warning. "It's finals week, we agreed to study all day." And with that he turned back to his notes and work, wanting to ignore the pout on your face and how he wanted to kiss it away.

“Why do we even need to study that much, you’ll ace it and I’ll pass.” You tried again, maybe waking up at 9 am on a sunday to study with Jake hadn’t been your brightest idea, especially since you couldn’t seem to stop getting distracted by your best friend doing the bare minimum. “Because I want you to ace it too.” Was his only explanation, yet it didn’t seem to convince you and he sighed. “Okay, just one movie.” The smile that adorned your face in response to his words was enough to make taking a break and risking your grades worth it. 

Not even half a minute had passed and you were already dragging him to the kitchen to get some snacks, the feeling of your hand holding his making him go red in the face. “Okay first snacks, then we’ll pick a movie and then ignore studying!” You turned around to see his reaction, the smile still on your face and the blush still on his. “You are red, do you feel sick?!” Only then you let go of his hand, reaching up to check his temperature by placing your hand on his forehead, the way you stood on the tip of your toes strangely endearing to him. “You are warm, I’ll get you some water.” You moved to get away from him but he reached out to stop you, his hand on your wrist as he pulled you back in, this time you noticed how he looked down to your lips for a moment doing the same just as his eyes met yours. “I’m so in love with you.” The man blurted out and by the way your eyes widened in surprise he realized he had actually said it instead of just thinking about it. “You love me?” Shock was written all over your face, and he worried you didn’t feel the same, eyes drifting to the floor as he spoke. “Have for a while.” He didn’t see the shock fade away into a smile, too busy wallowing in self pity at the idea you didn’t love him back and that he had ruined your friendship.. “I love you too Jake.” Your words broke his train of thought, now it was his turn to be shocked as he looked back up. “You do?” His eyes were filled with hope as he searched your face for any sign of it being a lie. “Yes, I realized it that day we ditched Jay and Sunghoon at that party and watched movies all night.”

He let go of your wrist, instead wrapping his arms around you and bringing you incredibly closer. “I was so scared I had ruined everything.” He spoke against your hair. “You could never ruin anything Jake." You chuckled against his chest as warmth spread across your cheeks. "So… Do you want to go out with me?" He asked, one of his arms moving away from your form as he scratched the back of his neck. "Right now?" You looked up at him. "Right now." He poked your nose in an affectionate way before wrapping his arm around you again. "What happened to studying all day?" You laughed at the face he made at the way you used his own words against him. "Then a study date it is."

[heartstringsduet]

Split

@chaotictarlos requested "tarlos+ meet cute + ice cream"

Finally, the queue moves on, the next group walking away with the thing Carlos has been craving for over a week now. An eternal hell ride with the subway and nearly half an hour waiting, and he’s finally so close he can taste it. 

Carlos steps forward and orders, “One Banana Split Deluxe, please.”

The smile of the shopkeeper dims just a little. “The Banana Split is in-house only.”

“Oh. Then I’ll sit.”

“Are you waiting for someone to join?”

Carlos is puzzled but keeps his friendly, confident tone, trying to be as cool as the New York locals. “No just me.”

Now, she looks at him with pity shining in her eyes. “I’m sorry, but it’s shop policy that the Banana Split is…well, split.”

“Yeah, but the name is just from the banana being split in the middle?” 

“At Cheeks, we do a new interpretation of it. And that can only be eaten by a minimum of two people. A split Banana Split,” she says like it’s a reasonable policy to have about dessert but also like she is genuinely sorry.

Carlos hears the group of teenagers behind him mumble, “Ugh, everyone knows that.” He feels his cheeks grow warm.

He’s been seeing this dish on Instagram for weeks now. It’s been his one saving grace in a week of grueling work in a new city he constantly feels rushed and overwhelmed in and that makes him feel lonelier than he ever had.

It’s a bit ridiculous but he felt on edge before and now it's like he couldn’t eat if he wanted to. But he’s in line, the teenagers behind him cluck and sigh and the shopkeeper looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Then I’ll just take-”

“Hey, sorry, uhm, I overheard and I don’t want this to be weird or anything but we could share the Banana Split? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to of course, it’s just, I’ve been meaning to try it for so long and I came all the way for it.”

Carlos stares at the stranger who stepped up next to him. Green eyes, soft brown hair and a very tight button down print shirt on a guy that could have walked out of his dreams. Carlos feels like there’s sugar coasting through his system already, speeding his heart up, coating his tongue, making him want to do crazy things.

Crazy things like saying, “Sure.”

Suddenly, the lady beams at them and says, “Our waiter will show you to your table in a sec.” Carlos thinks he sees her wink at them from the corner of his eyes but dismisses it. He’s too caught up in the sudden nerves and doubt setting in. What has he just said yes to? What hot guy would just randomly walk up and offer to share ice cream? What weirdo would say yes to it? 

When they slide into the white booth with colorful sprinkles, the hot guy says, “Sorry again. Really, don’t feel like you actually have to talk to me or anything or even stay if this is too weird.”

“It’s fine,” Carlos says. “You saved me from having wasted my time, honestly.” He holds his hand out. “I’m Carlos.” 

The guy smiles; another sugar rush pumping through Carlos’ veines for it. “TK. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Have you ever been here?”

“First time.” Carlos admits. “First time to New York actually.”

TK’s smile falters. “Oh, you’re just here on a visit?”

“No, I just moved here. Last week.”

It seems to have been the right answer because TK grins again and starts asking him about how he likes the city, tells him about what to expect from living in that neighborhood, what places to check out, which to avoid. He keeps on asking Carlos, too though. He's the friendliest and most open person he’s met in this city. And it might not be a coincidence that TK slips in a “my ex-boyfriend and I” in one of the recommendations with a weight to the “ex”.

Carlos has never been flirted with this openly, not by men, so at first he thinks that maybe it’s all in his head. But TK’s eyes keep on flickering down to Carlos’ mouth, and he laughs a bit too much at a lame pun Carlos makes and he makes a display of licking his spoon after each bite that drives Carlos crazy. He barely tastes the deconstructed (split) Banana Split. Suddenly, that seems very insignificant compared to the man whose face looks sinfully delighted at each bite.

As the check comes, Carlos feels like he’s only gotten a taste of something that has only made him hungry for more. He takes a calming breath then decides that he won't risk a final goodbye. “Would you want to split something savory next? Like…now?”

TK beams. “I know just the place.”

Carlos feels another sugar rush, making his heart jump and making him do crazy things for the rest of the night.

[jerzwriter]

A Quick Study

Thank you to @tveitertotwrites for the suggestion: Any pairing, Cooking from this ask. I wanted to explore this with another pairing, too. And, once again, I completely ignored the 100-word thing... who was I trying to kid? lol

Book: Open Heart (Prequel - MC's Med School Years) Pairing: Casey MacTavish (F!MC) x Jessica Phillips (F!OC) Rating: Teen Words: 719 Summary: Casey's a little hangry during their late-night study session, but Jess isn't letting her off the hook. A/N: Participating in @choicesseptemberchallenge2023 Day 5, Notebook @choicesficwriterscreations bisexual awareness week; @choicespride bisexual awareness week.

The tiny apartment was dimly lit, as expected when the clock was nearing one a.m. But Casey had an anatomy exam to prepare for, and sleep was a luxury not afforded to the second-year med school student. As her eyelids became heavy, Jessica went into action. With a flip of a switch, the overhead fluorescent blubs blared, ripping Casey from the soothing haze she had been slipping into.

“Hey!” She protested.

“Hey, nothing!” Jess snapped back. “I’m not staying up with you for my health. We’re here to get you prepped for your exam tomorrow. Now sit up!”

Her commanding voice was a bit intimidating. If medicine didn’t work out for Jess, Casey was confident her girlfriend could have an impressive career as a drill sergeant. Still, she was too familiar with her softer side to take her commands seriously.

“No,” she protested wearily. “I’m too tired.”

Jess let out an exasperated sigh, but one look at Casey’s crooked smile and she was reduced to a marshmallow again.

“How about this,” the doe-eyed redhead smiled. “Answer one more question correctly, and we’ll call it a night.”

“Go for it!”

Jess lifted the notebook and read: “What is the name of the process of division of a somatic cell’s nucleus into two daughter nuclei?”

Casey squirmed before belting out: “Meoisis!”

“No! It’s mitosis! You know that, Case. Meiosis refers to the production of sex cells, not somatic.”

“Well, maybe I have other things on my mind,” Casey teased.

“Yeah,” Jess smirked, “Well, I’m not giving into that until I’m confident you’ll pass. I have a minimum GPA requirement to be my girlfriend, you know.”

“Oh really,” Casey chuckled. “Well, for your information, I wasn’t thinking about that! I was thinking about food! I haven’t eaten since 4:30.”

“Casey! Why didn’t you say something! You know you shouldn’t do that.”

“It wasn’t intentional,” she yawned. “I’ve been too busy.”

“Well, let’s fix that. What can we get you to eat?”

Casey picked up her phone. “There is a pizza place down on 37th that’s open 24/7. I’ll give them a call.”

“Pizza at one a.m.!” Jess scoffed. “I think not.” She headed to the small kitchen with Casey following behind.

“You won’t find anything. I haven’t been grocery shopping.”

“I’m sure there’s something,” Jess said, displeased to find mostly empty cabinets and some unhealthy options in the fridge. “Casey....” she groaned, feeling a little better when she saw a container of steel-cut oats. “Here. You can have this.”

“I could,” Casey blushed, “But... I don’t know how to make them.”

“You don’t know how to make oatmeal?” Jess’s brown eyes bulged. “It’s basically boiling!”

“Yeah, and burning. When I do it, it typically includes burning.”

Unsure if she was more amused or horrified by the reply, Jess brushed Casey’s golden locks aside and kissed her forehead to conceal both.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll make you oatmeal, and we’ll study a few more questions. Then, we should really get some sleep.”

“All right,” Casey smiled, pulling Jess into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

“But, as soon as you pass this anatomy exam, we’re going grocery shopping, and I’m teaching you how to cook.”

“Jess, when it comes to anatomy, I’m a quick study – but cooking... that’s another animal.”

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m dealing with. We’ll start small. Grilled cheese for dinner tomorrow?”

“As long as you don’t mind burnt grilled cheese,” Casey grinned.

“Not on my watch,” Jess chuckled. “You’re lucky you’re so damned cute, MacTavish!”

“I get that a lot,” Casey smiled. “But you’re cute too... I guess you deserve grilled cheese that isn’t burnt for dinner tomorrow. So I’ll do my best.”

“Gee,” Jess rolled her eyes as she plopped the bowl of oatmeal on the table. “How’d I ever get so lucky?”

“We,” Casey smiled.

“We? We what?”

“How did we get so lucky?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jess blushed. “You’re still answering a few more questions when you’re done. I’m not as easily manipulated as those silly boys you used to date.”

“Oh, I know that,” Casey assured. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good! Now, what is the name of the process of division of a somatic cell’s nucleus into two daughter nuclei?”

“Mitosis!”

“See,” Jess winked. “You are a quick study!”  

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex Ch. 10: First Move

This chapter took 2 weeks to write. One to hash out what all our intrepid villains would need to do to pull this off, and one to actually write the chapter and make sure all bases are covered.

I and @baelpenrose have taken very few liberties with what this trio is doing, but I want to double-down on his note from the previous chapter: trying this would not only be extremely illegal, but in 2024 it wouldn't even remotely work. Especially not the lien release part: most of those records are digital now, and each bank has maybe four people total with the level of access required to release them. Maybe four.

Cause I am, I am

A little wicked

I am, I am

Hands red, hands red

Just like you said

I am, a little wicked

Valerie Broussard, “A Little Wicked”

After two detours - one to find another thermos, the other to fill both - we managed to make our way to a mall so old and worn-looking that even Spirit Halloween would give it a pass. Nils led us around to a side entrance before holding the door open with a sweeping gesture.  I rolled my eyes good naturedly, Bishop groaning behind me as we shouldered past.  Pausing to rub the dust from an old map with one sleeve, I found what I was looking for and glanced up. “Please tell me the stairs are in good shape?  Best Buy is all the way on the fourth floor.”

“They are, and it is, but we won’t need either.”  I suppressed a shiver as he reached past me to tap a location on our same level. “Sears.  The television section is down here, and the cable connections are still intact.”

“And we didn’t enter on that side because…?” Bishop asked, seeing how far away it looked on the map.

“Internet is up, power doors are not,” came the dry answer. “And this door was the only one I could get my hands on a key for.” 

“How did you - “ I started.

“You don’t want to know, Baklava. Plausible deniability - if anyone gets busted, Nothing did the breaking and entering, we weren’t aware he wasn’t lawfully here.” Hiking his bag further up on his shoulder, Bishop grunted. “Let’s go.”

Walking through the mall gave the eerie impression of being a zombie movie - rustling could be heard constantly, along with voices coming from beyond some of the locked grates covering storefronts. Squatters, I realized. Better use of the space than just leaving it here to rot, I thought approvingly. At least they aren’t freezing to death outside.

“Anyway.” Nils led the way into the employee break room in the Sears, one where he’d clearly helped himself to a few of the beanbags from the small furniture store, and locked the door behind us. “Router is behind the counter. We got wifi, we have a place to sit, we have work to do. Everyone, grab a beanbag or a chair. Local squatters won’t bother us in here - there’s an arrangement. I paid for a generator, they don’t mess with my stuff, and stay out of my way when I need to do a thing.” 

I made a mental note to bring food next time, provided I could figure out a way to bring it without Nils or Bishop noticing - last thing I needed was Bishop informing Nils about my stray-cat tendencies.  Grabbing a bean bag and an abandoned tray to set my computer on, I nested in and started getting everything connected.  Once I was happy with where everything was at, I dug in my bag for some snacks, pulling them out triumphantly before realizing Nils and Bishop were staring at me.

“What? You said we had work to do.”

Nils started snickering. “Not that. Just. Never known anyone who brought chili pistachios to a hack job. That’s all.” He shrugged. “Kind of cool.” 

“Creampuff. You and I both know if it was anyone else - like me, or even like Shade, you’d be saying something that would end with everyone either laughing or punching your lights out.” Harvey glanced at him with exasperation.

I offered some of my snack. “Keep the nut jokes to a minimum and I’ll share.”

“Please, Lash. We are not WintermuteWeasel. We come up with classier jokes than that when there is a lady present.” Nils replied, with faux-dignity. 

“In that case, I won’t offer you this,” I sighed dramatically, holding up a bag of homemade jerky. “Because god forbid you put my meat in your mouth.”

Bishop leaned past Nils. “I will gladly put your meat and your nuts in my mouth,” he managed to deadpan, making me throw my head back laughing before handing over both pistachios and jerky.

Nils blinked. “Apologies, clearly I misunderstood your sense of humor. My apologies. I’d do this casually, but you now strike me as the type who’d doubtless prefer a bit of begging for the privilege of your tasty, tasty nuts. Please…” He gave me giant puppy dog eyes and fell out of his bean bag chair, doing his best attempt at looking pathetic, not quite topping how he’d looked when bleeding in a torn suit, but much, much funnier. 

I surrendered and nodded for Bishop to pass the snacks over. “And don’t worry, I didn’t cook any of these, so they taste really good. Fair warning, the lamb jerky is - “

“Hooooleee crap,” Bishop gasped around a mouthful, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a big swig. “Spicy. Very very spicy. Lots of cilantro spicy, was not prepared.”

“That,” I finished lamely. “So go slow or we’ll never get any work done.  Speaking of the Weasel… Any word?”

“Called him, he should be calling back in….” His phone started ringing. “Now. I’ll deal with him, try to keep quiet, both of you. It’s gonna be easier if you two don’t acknowledge that I’m buying for you so he doesn’t hold up the sale for something gross, you know?” He stepped off. “Wintermute, yeah. Best icebreaker. Needs to be less than 30MB. Able to tear through the absolute best encryption out there? Can you do it?”

Something on the other end.

“Need to get a worm and a data bomb through it, and be able to activate the data bomb on the other end after the worm has had time to work. No, you don’t need to know what for. You just need to know the parameters. High end, government encryption. Less than 30MB file size.” Harvey got tense, and began rolling his eyes, held the phone away from his head for a minute. He began doing ducklips - might have picked that up from me.

Eventually he put it back to his head. “Yeah, I get it’ll be expensive. No, no I will not disclose who I’m working with. Cash only payments. Yeah, I can pay that.” 

He hung up. “Great. He’ll meet me in a few weeks. He bitched about it, a lot, but after a bit he said he could do it. It’ll ring three thousand. Each of you down to cover a grand?” 

I squinted and did some mental math. “Yeah, I can cover that.” I’d have to bite the bullet and work on some more anime commissions, but the money was practically sitting there otherwise.  “Richie McWhiteboy, you don’t need to auction off a leather jacket or anything, do you?”

“You know what’s sad? I am so useless in so many ways, but I have the kind of academic credentials where I get paid to research for the university as a grad student as long as I keep helping professors with their research and it covers rent. All my jobs basically just cycle in paying for other jobs and expenses. And I still have money left over to give away. Yeah, I can throw a thousand - probably a little more if it’ll take strain off of you two.”

Bishop winked at me. “Ah, to have rich people problems, right?”

I threw my hands up. “I will totally take financial help in providing snacks and decent coffee. Titties only get me so far.”  Belatedly, I realized what I had said and covered my face with both hands. “ART!” I shouted. “ART!”

Nils snickered. “Most artists have drawn big tittied anime girls for money, and most academics who need it have either written Marvel fanfiction for kinks they didn’t want to know about or written someone else’s papers. Don’t think about it too hard.” 

Bishop just shook his head as I peeked through my fingers and dragged over a second bean bag to prop his feet on. “Before we get completely derailed by a taco joke, let’s reel it in, children.  Our not so friendly neighborhood perv is working on the encryption breaking, do we want to do the worm or databomb first?”

Nils looked to me. “I’d prefer doing the databomb first, since a spore with extra activations is easy enough and just having it done early so all we have left is the hard part means that when we’re done with the hard part we don’t have anything left, but if anyone has any objections to that I’ll hear them?”

“The county records…?” I asked, glancing between the both of them. “You know, the physical liens? With the counties?”

It was completely the opposite of reassuring when Nils went pale and Bishop’s eyes glazed over. With a deadpan, almost contemptuously exhausted tone, Nils grunted, “Fuck. Alright, malware 4 and 5, another encryption breaker, another databomb, let’s go. And find some way of getting those released. And finding which ones we’re looking for…”

“I mean a dial-up bot that just asks after public records isn’t hard, you and I have made like a few dime a dozen ones, that’s easy. Hell, I have a DDoS botnet or two we can repurpose, just collecting dust. Start generating those to get public records on liens, they’re public record. Hard part is the lien releases, that’ll take…some courts and counties take digital copies or faxed copies of the notarized forms, I say we collect the records with that and start sending forged copies out. I mean, we’d need to pay a good forgery guy, but I know one. It takes about thirty days, but we can mill the fucking things once we get all the records and get good fake state seals made.”

“Make sure they are backdated by several months,” I suggested. “Totally Purloined Letter it, act like they’ve had it this entire time and lost their copy. They’ll be too embarrassed to object.”

“Right, add about a month to the process for that and finishing our worm and encryption breaker, county records are easily breakable, we can make our own icebreakers for that but we’re gonna need a lot of computers to launch that many attacks at once…That, plus adequate databombs.”

“Add another twenty five days after we send the fake releases, give time for as many as possible to be recorded,” Bishop added. “They’re less likely to be lumped in with the attack, that way.”

              “Okay. That, plus I have to regularly commune with my morons on their “orders” for the “joint operation” about dealing with the “evil shadow government.” Nils sighed. “Okay. We have a lot of work to do but we should be able to manage it. We can’t brag about it after, which kinda sucks because we’re rapidly approaching Inception-timed-to-music levels of bullshit, and if we pull it off any reasonable world would give us bragging rights forever, but there are way worse things.” 

              “I don’t suppose any of your far right fucknuckle brother uncles are notaries?” I sighed. “We’d never be that lucky.”

              “Sadly, no. I do have a relative who is but she’d never get caught up in anything illegal for political reasons, perish the thought,” Nils’ voice took on a note of contempt. “She conveniently forgets that marrying her husband was illegal until around 60 years ago, and that the entire concept of civil disobedience is ‘breaking the law for political reasons’.”  He shrugged. 

              Bishop grunted, snagging a thermos. “Pocket notaries going on Santa’s wishlist in the event we are ever good little boys and girl…. We are now at 55 day lead time, minimum. The thirty days will give us time to come up with hardware without getting too much scrutiny, and we use that time to let bots dig up the information we need on the liens and student debt.” I blinked and he waggled a finger at me. “I didn’t forget that part, don’t worry. Student debt is going to be the least painful, because zero potential damage there, Sallie Mae can just fuck right off.”  

He typed for second and tilted his head. “Then we send the faked releases - I don’t know if my guy can do them in bulk, so it would be smart to have a program to mock them up as back-up.  Who can code that, because I’ll be too busy.”

I raised my hand. “Digital art en masse is my area of expertise,” I nodded confidently. “I can cobble something together from my animation stuff, no problem.”  Would I test it by using it to clear my commissions inbox? Probably, but they didn’t need to know that.  I already felt guilty enough about it.

“Okay, so I’ll handle the databombs and the basic icebreakers, Bishop will repurpose his dialup net, and Lash will get the mock-ups ready so we can mill out fake lien releases. I’ll also handle getting the gun nuts ready and primed for when we go. We’ll work together on the worm since that’ll be the hardest part.” Nils was standing, the irritated exhaustion gone, eyes suddenly alight. “We have a little less than two months, and when that’s done, we’ll be paying back the banks for the 2008 crash and all the futures they stole with student loans. And we’ll be stealing a lot of them back. Let’s get to work.” 

[cloudsandcrescents]

What’s your publishing schedule looking like?

That’s a great question. I have no clue (kidding but also not?)

Kidding…not kidding lol…send help pls. But seriously.

Rough Schedule (As it Stands)

I’m currently working on a follow up to Relinquish that sort of fell by the wayside. That is nearly done (75-80%) and it will be up before the end of week (ideally today or tomorrow). This will just be added as a second chapter to the original.

Leather Black I’m actually planning to post more frequently on because that’s meant to be a short series similar to how I did Empty Rooms. I’m planning to resume updates for that this week/weekend with weekly updates but will ideally be more like every 2-3 days depending on my schedule. I really like this one so I’m eager to update for it but I think I just started tackling it at a time where there was a lot going on in my personal life that messed up my schedule quite a bit.

After Hours is reaching its end with maybe another 2-3 chapters (the last likely being an epilogue) so I’m trying to wrap it up by getting back to (at minimum) a biweekly update schedule. Max I’m giving myself to finish is through end of January since that’s around when I first started it. Should have an update to this by the end of next week.

Similar to After Hours, I intend to wrap up Promise Me very soon as well with, likely, another 2-3 chapters. The alternating updates really worked well for me as I would just toggle between which one was the previously updated fic. (Unrelated) Promise Me I’ve actually been debating on because I already set the layout for a sequel in my head. I was thinking about whether I wanted to just keep it going or create a separate fic for it and right now I feel like the latter so we’re surprisingly wrapping that up soon. Should have an update on this in about two weeks if not sooner.

I want to lighten the load before I tackle anything further so I think this is the point where I kind of stop the addition of any new fics until I get a better handle on my current WIP. That said, I most likely won’t be updating Hour of Need or When We Serve until I finish After Hours and Promise Me. Encore is there as well though I’m feeling a little iffy on whether or not I want to come back to that but we’ll see. HoN and WWS will likely follow the pattern of alternating biweekly or even weekly updates between the two once After Hours and Promise Me are done. We’re going to give these a hopeful return in early February but may come sooner.

I’ve gotten several Tumblr requests in my asks that I do see and will definitely get too. I have a tendency to overload myself and I’m very susceptible to burnout so those are just a little behind but I’m hoping to add a few into my update schedule resuming in Mid-Jan/Early-Feb if not sooner once I wrap up Leather Black and my other two bigger fics.

As always, thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I hope that I’m fortunate enough where I can eventually just write for a living and just play with words all day. Until then, I most resume my normal day to day life which isn’t nearly as exciting but keeps me equally busy. I write most of my fics on my phone but also try to sit at my computer to write which tends to motivate me more. Unfortunately, my computer has been inoperable for a few months now as I’ll likely need to replace the CPU I’m pretty sure I broke lol. It’s had to take a backseat to a few other things but I’m planning to get a replacement in mid January and hopefully that’ll help with a lot with my productivity.

I hope this provides anyone looking for their particular favorite of my works, a bit of relief knowing that updates are coming soon. Thank you all for being the best part of getting to do this, truly. 🩵

[abyssal-ali]

look at those flowers that look like you

Pairing: Jasonette

Rating: T

WC: ~2.6k

A/N: Hanahaki AU of my Reputation AU.

Includes prompts for days 8-13 (May 10, 12, and substitute quote 1 are the quotes used, and May 8, 9, 11, & 13 are the flowers used).

Title from snow flower by V of BTS (ft. Peakboy)

I've read a couple hanahaki fics but not many, and this is my first time writing one, so I hope it's okay.

Spoilers for Reputation 'Verse: It's not stated (and I haven't gotten that far in Reputation 'Verse), but Tikki is a Symbiote with Mari, and Plagg is a cat (he's sentient. I'm not saying why bc spoilers, but he can talk and judge Mari's dismal relationship status.)

Todd is Mari's nickname for Jason and he calls her Snow.

Mari is very heavily emotionally repressed from dealing with Hawkmoth (shocker, Jason is the emotionally literate one), so she acts a bit differently here.

They're in Paris, Jason is having a kind of gap year from the Bats and Mari moonlights as Noire Chance (I daren't say more lest I spoil RV.)

If you see plot holes...no you don't♡

Enjoy!

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

Noire Chance whipped through the cool air, laughter bursting from her lips as she narrowly evaded her pursuer. By using her smaller size and flexibility to her advantage, she sprung off the wall corner and doubled back, using the precious few seconds she had gained to increase the gap between her and Red Hood.

However, Hood had more mass and force behind him, causing him to catch up to her quickly, snagging a gloved hand around her waist and jerking her back to his chest as he swung them up to a taller rooftop.

“Got you, Snow.”

She pouted but didn’t pass up the chance to be trapped by his sturdy body, keeping the resistance to a minimum.

“And I believe that makes it 4:3 escapes this week, in my favour. I would like to collect my winnings in the form of a homemade meal and baking,” said Hood proudly.

She rolled her eyes but acquiesced with minimal grumbling.

They headed off in separate directions for their respective residences, patrolling over for the night.

~~~~~

Marinette had a long hot shower to unwind and relax, planning on taking the weekend off for once. The heat and steam eventually made breathing difficult, so she got out and dried off. Hopefully, she wasn’t coming down with something.

She dressed in her favourite fuzzy onesie and curled into bed with the novel Hood had recommended to her. She was halfway through and it was starting to get good.

The band around her chest eased a little bit as she relaxed and was still. She should probably get checked for asthma or sickness, but she was usually fine. It was probably just another side effect of the trauma that she preferred to ignore.

Dismissing the thought from her mind, Marinette snuggled deeper into the pillows and focused on the book.

~~~~~

“Smells good.”

Marinette whipped around, brandishing a knife threateningly at the intruder. “When will you learn to knock?!”

“When you get a better security system,” shrugged Jason. “This one is so easy to get by, I could do it in my sleep. When it actually requires effort, then I’ll consider it. I gotta keep you on your toes, though.”

“You really don’t.” Marinette gave him the cold shoulder, turning back to stirring the sauce on the stove. “I have a perfectly fine system for enemies, and I can take care of myself just fine.”

“I know you can.” There was a tell-tale crunch as Jason pilfered a handful of grapes from the rack where she was draining them and ate one. “Doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious.”

He had a point, but she wasn’t going to give in yet. They had a variation of this conversation every time he broke in came over.

Plagg wound around Jason’s feet, begging for pets, or more likely, cheese. Jason scooped the cat up and ran his fingers through Plagg’s silky fur.

“Hey, Plagg, Snow thinks you’re a good defence system. But you’re not, are you? Look at you, purring in my arms.”

“That’s because he’s smart enough to know who’s a friend and who’s foe,” Mari defended Plagg.

As they ate, Marinette noticed the familiar tightening around her chest. It felt like she swallowed too large a bite at once and got stuck in her esophagus.

Sipping her wine didn’t help dislodge the lump, and Mari realized that the lump wasn’t physically blocking her airway, though it felt like it.

She continued eating, taking smaller bites than normal just in case.

Jason stared at her. “Why are you eating so slowly? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She glared back at him. “Maybe it just seems slow because you inhaled your portion in five minutes.”

“I did not inhale it! I appreciated the effort that went into making such a delicious meal and savoured it appropriately–by eating it while it was still fresh and hot.”

The band tightened, and Mari was unable to hide the grimace she made that time.

“Okay, something is wrong. What’s up, Marinette.” All teasing had left Jason’s voice and he stared at her, trying to pick out why she was acting so oddly.

“I just feel a bit short of breath. It happens sometimes. I’m fine,” she hiccupped.

“Snow, being short of breath is not a good thing.”

“Could you stop being so overbearing?!” Marinette snapped. Surprise covered Jason’s face. She’d never yelled at him seriously before, but it didn’t sound like their joking debates now.

“Sorry.”

She looked almost as surprised as him that she’d yelled at him. “Sorry,” she muttered. “I’m just not feeling great, okay? Do you mind cutting tonight short?”

“Yeah, of course. Do you want to go to bed?”

“I’ll just go lie down. Good night, Todd.”

“I hope you feel better soon, Mari. Have a good sleep.”

She nodded and headed to her room.Jason puttered about for a few minutes, clearing the table and washing the remaining dishes, hoping Mari would emerge and tell him what was up. She never got sick, thanks to Tikki. Something was definitely off.

He knocked lightly on her door. The lights were off and he hoped she was asleep, but he didn’t want to leave without one last check.

If he didn’t, who would?

The door swung open and he saw Mari bundled in her blankets. The grey light from the rainy evening provided just enough light for him to see her shaking as if she was cold, or maybe having a nightmare.

He stepped in quietly and promptly stopped when he heard Mari whispering fiercely to herself.

“I am not going to cry. This is not worth crying about. I am not going to cry. I will not cry– dang it!”

Her hand moved, he assumed to wipe the tears away, and he approached her bed slowly.

“Snow, you know I’m always here for you, right?”

She rolled over as quickly as she could, being bundled up so much. “Jason! Why are you still here?!”

“I wanted to be sure you were actually okay before I left.”

She lifted her chin defiantly, the moonlight highlighting a tear trail silver on her cheek.

“Peachy. Thanks for your care, but I’m fine by myself. Don’t you have patrol, anyways?”

“You’re more important, Snow. Do you want to tell me why you’re crying?”

Another tear spilled over.

“No.”

Jason sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her into his arms. “I don’t care if you don’t want my help; I’m giving it to you anyways. I know how lonely it feels to cry alone.”

He held her all night as tears continually rolled down her face silently, dampening her blanket and his shirt, but he didn’t care.

Finally, she fell asleep and he tucked her into the dry half of her bed. His lips brushed her hair before he straightened and left the room.

~~~~~

Marinette stretched and slowly opened her eyes to a sunshiny room. It was nice to wake up peacefully, not from a nightmare. Little specks of dust danced in the warm beams, Plagg was purring on her feet, and–

She bounced a little in shock. Jason was facing her, soundly asleep, his arm slung over her waist, though he was on top of the duvet and she was under it.

Why was Jason sleeping on her bed? He’d never done that before.

How mortifying. Why had she cried on him all night? How uncharacteristic of her.

She should’ve just yelled at him and kicked him out, though both were even more uncharacteristic.

She didn’t even know why she was crying, which was the most frustrating. It’s easy enough to cry and excuse it when you have a reason, but crying for no reason is stupid, she told herself.

At least Jason didn’t say anything about it? If he treated her like she was irrational or weak after this, she was going to send him to the moon without a suit.

She rolled her eyes and reached down to pet Plagg.

Jason opened his eyes and smiled at her.

“Hey, Mari. Sleep well?”

His voice was deeper than usual and a bit rough, sending shivers down her spine.

Mentally slapping herself, she forced a smile and her everyday everything-is-fine voice. “Just fine. How about you? Thanks for staying, by the way.”

“I got a good sleep. Sure wasn’t from knowing this place was secure, so I wonder how that happened,” he teased.

Marinette pushed him off the bed.

“Ouch! Snow! Just for that, I’m not going to make you breakfast like I was planning.”

“Wait, no, I’m sorry!”

~~~~~

Once Jason left after breakfast Marinette headed off to shower and contemplate the meaning of life.

“Tikki, do you have any idea why this is happening?”

“I’m sorry, Marinette, but I do not at the moment.”

Partway through washing her hair, the steam got to her and she started coughing. She stumbled out of the tub to lean over the toilet, feeling something moving the wrong way up her esophagus.

She spat a small orange bud out and stared at it in confusion. A couple coughs later, four more orange-yellow blossoms joined the first.

“Tikki,” she whispered in dawning horror. “I’m coughing up flowers.”

~~~~~

Googling her symptoms was a brilliant idea, and she discovered that she had anywhere from two hours to five years left and she was likely suffering from hanahaki disease, which wasn’t well-recorded and had limited information on, both for causes and treatments/cures.*

The flowers she was coughing up were apparently butterfly weed, a cousin to milkweed, which was toxic to almost all animals except monarch butterflies. Butterfly weed, shockingly enough, attracted butterflies.

She shivered. Butterflies.

That made sense, she’d always made sure butterflies avoided her. Of course she was suffering from a disease for unknown reasons and said disease made her attract one of the things she hated the most in the world.

Possible reasons for contracting hanahaki disease included unrequited romantic feelings, unconfessed romantic feelings, or unknown romantic feelings.

Ugh, why was it always romantic feelings? One of the most conflicting emotions she never wanted to experience and wanted desperately at the same time.

She wanted to be loved completely and all-consumingly by someone who would burn the world for her, who would make her their number one priority.

She had seen the consequences of obsessive love in Hawkmoth. Look what he had done to her in the name of love. Love was dangerous. It hurt the innocent.

It was heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

~~~~~

Marinette sat down straight on her couch, journal cracked open to a fresh page and pen in hand. What I could have hanahaki about: was scrawled across the top line.

Ten minutes later she tossed them onto the floor in frustration.

“How am I supposed to know what I’m feeling?! They’re all jumbled together and I don’t particularly feel inclined to untangle them!”

Another hacking cough started and a small cluster of butterfly weed stained red came up. With a tired sigh, she wiped her mouth and picked up the journal and pen.

~~~~~

“‘Feeling better?’ No, I’m coughing up literal bloody flowers because I’m too emotionally repressed to know why!” she hissed at her phone in response to Jason’s text.

“Have a diagnosis. I’ll be fine in a couple days,” she replied.

Jason showed up at her door the next night.

She opened it and was promptly greeted with a bouquet of flowers. “You knocked,” she said, stunned by the bouquet.

Jason shrugged. “Didn’t want to drop the vase.”

“Thank you…but what is this for?”

He shrugged again. “Just because. You know that book I was reading about flowers? It just made me think of you and so I got them. I bet Tikki will love them.”

“Probably. Thanks, Todd.” She placed the vase on the coffee table, identifying the blossoms as yellow and white lilies, pink and red roses, and smaller filler buds with pink lilies-of-the-valley and baby’s breath. She remembered what most of them meant from one of Jason’s rants–

The now-familiar urge to cough up a branch of flowers overtook her and she headed swiftly to the bathroom to do so in peace.

“You okay, Mari? Seriously? ‘Cause that sounds…bad,” called Jason.

“Yep, just some stuff. It sounds worse than it is,” she called back.

She swung the door open and raised a brow at him standing right outside.

“I’m fine; drop it.”

He eyed her but gave in and bowed after her, following her to the couch, where she’d been watching a Chinese drama.

Halfway through an episode, he shifted to see her better. “Do you have hanahaki?”

Her head whipped around to look at him. “What?”

“Do you have hanahaki?” he repeated. “You’re coughing up bloody something, which looks like flowers, you’re being more standoffish than usual, and you’re emotionally traumatized, which would make sense why you caught it.”

“Ugh, can I have no secrets from you?!” she threw her hands up in exasperation. “Fine, I have hanahaki! I’m working on processing my emotions or whatever so I can know why I have it, okay? I’m taking care of it.”

“You know a faster way to resolve it?”

“What?”

With that tone of voice, he was either teasing or going to say something she wasn’t going to like.

“Acknowledging your feelings and confessing them.”

Oh, it was both. Yay.

“Right, well, I don’t know what I’m feeling, never mind for who.” She leaned menacingly into his personal space.

He kissed the tip of her nose. She sat back an inch and blinked.

“What was that for?”

He sometimes did it when they hadn’t seen each other in a while, one of their old traditions that he still kept. She returned it only when he was sick, injured, or feeling sad.

“Just because. And now you’re not in my face and I won’t go cross-eyed anymore,” he grinned. “Look, you hang out with how many people you could have feelings for?”

“...”

“I’m your only friend that you regularly hang out with, Snow.”

“So…I have feelings for you?”

“Do you?” he asked softly. “What comes to mind when you think about me?”

“Safe, fun, affection…”

She paused, then vaulted over the back of the sofa and ran to her room. “Tikki, do I like Jason?!”

“I think you view him as more than a friend.”

“I like Jason?

“I like Jason.

“I love Jason?

“I love Jason. How- That is literally so obvious…I love Jason.”

Marinette shuffled out of her room a few minutes later, facing him sheepishly. “It has come to my attention that I have romantic feelings for you.”

He smiled, the happiest one she’d seen on him in ages. “I have romantic feelings for you, too.”

“I was starting to get the idea,” she laughed, nodding at the vase a couple feet away.

"Finally."

Jason’s hands cupped her face. “Is your nose glowing a side effect of hanahaki or something?”

“Not as far as I know…” She pulled her phone out and stared at the screen. Her nose was faintly glowing.

“It’s not just the sunlight, right?”

Jason shook his head. “Is–I think it’s a soulmate mark.”**

“What?”

Tiny gold freckles dotted her nose and forehead, the largest one being on the tip of her nose, where he usually kissed her.

“We’re soulmates?”

Marinette looked at Jason in shock.

“I have a soulmate?” he muttered.

“I’m so glad it’s you!” Mari launched herself into his arms, squeezing as tightly as she could. “I secretly imagined you as my soulmate when we were younger, you know.”

“I did too!”

They laughed together, overflowing with joy at the revelations of the afternoon.

Link to inspo pic of bouquet Jason gifts Mari:

https://i1.wp.com/the-little-flowershop.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/RED-ROSE-PINK-LILY-FLOWER-BOUQUET-THE-LITTLE-FLOWER-SHOP-FLORIST-LONDON-UK-DELIVERY-e1554746538624.jpg?fit=822%2C1056&ssl=1

*Hanahaki Disease isn't very common in this world because it's caused by unacknowledged romantic feelings (unacknowledged by the owner of said feelings). It doesn't show up very often, as most people come to realize they have feelings for another person before the hanahaki sets in (too badly). However, as Marinette is very much in *suppress* and *act fine* mode, she has no idea what she feels about Jason, etc.

Jason, my poor boy, has been trying to drop hints to Marinette that he sees her as more than a friend/vigilante partner for a while now, but Mari is heavily in *denial* and *don't get your hopes up about someone liking you*. The book about flowers Jason was reading was about the symbolism/flower language. Yes, he told Mari all about it and she ignored all the random flowers he'd previously given her.

**Soulmate bonds are rare (1.5% population), and show up as gold marks where the soulmates touch skin-to-skin the most. Mari and Jason aren't super touchy, and are usually mostly covered up, so it's taken a while for their bond to show up.

Maribat Taglist (open): @the-coffee-fandom, @questioning-blob-of-fog, @jennifer-rose123