#(thats what im calling this collage project i think)
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But one of them, to the right, could almost be described as family. A woman who is as close as your mother has to a sister.
She's so pretty, even stressed and in this weird orange glow. She's got long, just incredibly shiny auburn hair and sort of ruddy freckled features and pale skin but she's sort of glowing in this room that's so dangerous and hot and wrong but she looks like she's in her element.
She looks down at you and says, "Don't be afraid of him. I've got you."
featuring: transcripts from the wizard the witch and the wild one from worlds beyond number, wanderhome by possum creek games + into the woods by stephen sondheim
#the wizard steel#worlds beyond number#wbn#the wizard the witch and the wild one#wanderhome#into the woods#wbn spoilers#shes always rotating in my mind like a microwave#troubled red headed milfs my beloveds#the accordion notebook#(thats what im calling this collage project i think)#(like ame's accordion notebook about suvi)
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Ugh today. Thats how I feel right now. I am glad tomorrow is the start of spring break, even if Im working through most of it. I need a change of pace.
I slept okay I guess. I calmed down after being so upset. And I didnt have as hard of a time falling asleep but staying asleep was harder. I did let myself sleep in until after 930. And didnt get out of bed until 945. So I had a lot less time. But I got up and dressed and while my hair looked filthy, I felt cute.
I had a bagel and watched a video and was out the door with some art to show the kids. It was muggy out today. Not rainy like yesterday, but humid.
Work was alright. Only a couple kids again. I got to work on some collages with stickers with one of the kids. And later in the day I showed them the art I make and they used those sticker collages to create their own drawings. I made one too and it was just a nice project.
But before we did that I had my meeting with my manager. It went okay at first. When I had filled out my SWOT analysis thing I was really upset. It was last week when everything was bad. And she knew that, as I had warned her to take it with some salt. And she did. And a lot of things I had thought, like independent work time and schedules were confirmed. I got things clarified that I didnt know. And that helped make me feel more secure.
But then at the end of the meeting she tells me that she needs to talk about how I crossed some lines and boundaries yesterday and I was like. What?? Im like running through the whole day and I couldnt think of anything except the kids yelling? But apparently because Im an aid at this site, and not a lead teacher, I shouldnt be talking to parents? I shouldnt be checking in? I shouldnt be doing a bunch of things that have to do with the end of the day.
And I was shocked. Because I have been at this site for a month. And I have been doing a bunch of these tasks every day. Because I had been told to. It was just shocking. And I started crying. But I was embarrassed and I was like I know I am crying but this is not because of you I just cant stop. And she was taken aback and I think she tried to keep talking to make me understand but I was just like. How would I know I shouldnt be doing something I was told to do?? And it was just. Really shocking.
One of the things that bugs me is this aid thing. I dont care about being an aid, its all good. But also I dont understand why I was the lead at the other two sites but not this one? And like. I wasnt in trouble. But the way it was phrased. Crossing a line. Going outside my boundaries. Made me feel like I had done something really bad and offensive and it really hurt my heart. Because I had been trying to do the things I had been told to do from the trainings I did right before I started at this site. Talking to and checking in with parents. Leading projects. Delegating as a team with the other teachers.
But it just felt like. I was being told I was both doing to much and not doing enough. And that was really hard.
So I dont know what tomorrow will look like. And at the end of the meeting I was still very teary. I went to the upstairs bathroom that no one really uses and cried for a few more minutes. I tried to get my face to stop being so red. And headed back to class.
It was a mostly quiet day though. We did another story telling game. We did my drawing project. And made little paper crowns. It was mostly a good afternoon.
Before I left for work today I told James I hoped all the kids would leave by 4. But at 4 we went to the gym to play basketball. We were only in there for a few minutes when I realized that the other side of the gym had a family playing basketball with no masks on so I called upstairs to ask what to do. And she was like. You gotta get out of there. So even though the boys were upset, we went upstairs to the yoga studio and played catch. Me and the only girl did some ballet at the barre. It was nice.
But then all of a sudden everyone was getting picked up!A And we only had one kid left. And since we have another staff at night I got to bounce. Awesome.
I was home before 5. I put my stuff away, put a pizza in the oven, and played some animal crossing. I was supposed to have a meeting at 6 so I prepared myself for that. But then it got pushed back until 7. All good. James went for a walk and brought me french fries home. And I had a really nice meeting with Alexi about camp.
Im going to be going out there for the first 3 days of next week for a spring break camp. I have a bunch of projects to come up with for programs. Im really excited.
I still hope things are a little more normal after this summer and I can work closer with camp rather than any other job. But well just have to see. Im really excited to go out there for this little bit of time.
James made cupcakes for me to take to work tomorrow. And while they were finishing that I went and took a bath. Helped my back a little bit. And Ive just been hanging out on the couch for a bit.
Now Im going to brush my teeth and try to sleep. I got my schedule at work changed so I dont have to go in til 1 tomorrow, and noon on T/W/T, so Im pleased about that.
I hope you have a great night everyone. Sleep well. Wash your hands.
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Left Behind | Calum Hood
Pairing: College!Calum x College!Reader
Summary: As you got lost in the crowd of concert, you bump into a boy, you’re kinda familar with and from there on you are kind of forced to spend the rest of the evening with him and his friends.
Word cound: 3.9k
Warnings: drinking and that’s about it, ig
a/n: I had this in my drafts for a while now and felt like finishing it. It’s my first 5sos related imagine. It’s a little bit cheesy and turned out fluffy. Remember, feedback and criticism is highly appreciated. Enjoy!
The music was blasting through the speakers, flashing a wave of energy through your body you didn’t even know you had left in you anymore. You were standing for about four hours now and usually you’d be totally exhausted by now but the adrenaline that was currently streaming through your body made you forget about your tired legs.
As the next hook was about to drop the people around you opened a big hole in the crowd and everyone was ready to jump in. You weren't usually the type to join mosh pits because they always got so chaotic and sometimes you were seriously worried about getting hurt. But right now, at the moment, you didn’t care. You took a glance to your left to find your two best friends nodding at you, signalizing you that they were about to join the chaos as well. You smiled one more time to yourself, enjoying yourself before the beat dropped and every one jumped into that mosh pit, including you.
It was over faster than you would have thought. At that moment, you were completely carefree and the music owned your body. You were jumping, screaming and dancing, like every body around you. At some point someone stepped on your foot and it stung for a second, but you got over it fast as the act that was currently putting on a live show, started to rap their second verse of the song. The crowd calmed down a little and most people were facing the stage again.
You turned around to check if your friends were alright. But as you turned, you couldn’t make out one of the two familiar faces that belonged to your best friends. You started to look around, starting to ignore the loud bass, the cheering crowd and the flickering lights around you, as worry started to build inside of you. You couldn’t see them anywhere. You got your phone out to check if they already texted you but you had no new messages. You tried to call them with little hope and also no success. You lost your friends.
You thought about leaving the hall and just wait until the concert is over to meet with them outside afterwards, since you knew you couldn’t enjoy the concert anymore anyways. Not like this. You turned around to leave, as you bumped into someone.
You quickly apologized and moved past them, until, you heard them calling your name.
“Y/N?” they shouted after you. You knew that voice so, you turned around again.
“Calum?” you guessed making your way over to the familiar stature of the young man.
As you got closer you could make out his features and it really was Calum, standing there in front of you.
“It really is you! What are you doing here?” he smiled, taking you in for a short hug.
This took you by surprise. You didn’t know Calum too well. You weren’t even sure if you’d consider him your friend. But it also seemed like he was pretty hammered. But you had to chuckle at his question. What were you probably doing at a concert?
Calum was one of your classmates. And that was about it. At least that’s what you think, how he’d explain the relationship between you two. On your side, the thing was a little bit more complicated. It all started out about one and half years ago, since you started collage. You figured out fast that you had almost all your classes with the curly haired boy. At the beginning, he was just one of the guys you went to school with. Nothing more, nothing less. But over these one and a half years, you developed a crush on him. And you hated yourself for it.
You mostly knew him from little group projects you had to do in class. Either only the two of you or in a bigger group, but you started to notice, that you liked spending time with him. Even if it was only for school related stuff. The two of you even started to talk more once during these one and a half years but that died down quickly with him telling you how he was about to hit up another girl. He didn’t hurt you with stuff like that, it was just a bit frustrating sometimes.
You were likely to not tell your crushes about the feelings or liking you held towards them. For some reason you were always just too scared of rejections and you always thought it would probably be really awkward between the two of you if you’d have ever told him. You also didn’t want for him to have this kind of power over you. You imagined plenty of times the pity full look he’d have on his face, while telling you that you were sweet, but he didn’t return your feelings. And the thought about that always managed to send a cold shiver down your spine and it maybe still kind of hurt you in some way. Even tough you would never admit that to yourself.
So, you managed to live with the fact that he was just a silly crush you had and that you’d get over it at some point, which leaded you to the situation you were currently in. Still, not over him and him treating you like one of his mates. And the thing that all of his three mates from school were kind of your friends as well didn’t help at all. Sometimes you even did hang out together. You liked his friends and you always wondered why your relationship with him can’t be as uncomplicated as the friendships with the rest of his gang was. If you’re with them, you always get a laugh out of each other. It also wasn’t that bad if you were with him and his friends because they kind of distracted you from his cute curls, muscular arms and contagious laugh, which you loved to hear. You also loved when his lips where formed into a smile that took over his whole face.
And now you were standing there, worried about your friends, a little bit drunk, bumping into that one person you didn’t really expect to bump into. Plus, you didn’t really have the nerves right now to deal with the mess you called your feelings.
“What do you think I’m doing here? Same as you, dummy.” you replied, trying to put a smile on your face and ignoring the anxious feeling that were currently creeping up.
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” he smiled, biting his lip and looking down at you.
“Yeah. But, ehm” your voice sounded more concerned this time as you tried to form your sentence, “You didn’t per chance saw my friends around?”
You turned on your phone as you wanted to show him a picture of them as you realized his head was already turned to the front again, not listening to anything you just said. As it wasn’t hard enough to communicate in all that screaming that was going on, anyways.
“Calum!” you called for his attention.
He turned to you, a drunken smile on his face. You showed him the picture of you and your friends.
“Have you seen them?” you shouted over the crowd that was currently going wild.
“Them? No, sorry. But she’s hot!” he grinned, pointing at your phone.
Well, that didn’t really help, but thanks for your input, Calum. You rolled your eyes at him. It wasn’t like you were already in a shitty situation.
“I’m gonna leave. Have fun.” you screamed over the music.
As you were about to turn your back at the tall boy, he called out for you again.
“Y/N, wait!”
He called you again so, you turned around again.
“You really wanna miss the rest of the concert?” he asked like he’d genuinely care, “We can still go and search for your friends after and you can stay with us if you want”.
His offer took you by surprise, the second time this evening. But the suggestion was really tempting, since you really liked the act that was currently playing and you were excited for this concert for about half a year now. So, you decided to quickly text your friends, that they don’t need to worry about you and that you found someone you knew and could stay with for the rest of the concert. You said you were sorry and that you could meet outside after. Putting your phone back in your pocket you turned back to Calum, who was loudly singing along, knowing all the lyrics.
“You know what, yeah, why not.” you smiled up at him, receiving a smile from him as well which made you a little bit week in your knees, but as usual, you ignored it.
As the evening was going on, you caught yourself enjoying yourself more and more. Calum had also friends with him. The only one you knew was a boy called Ashton. You had also some classes with him, and he was one of Calum's closest friends, as far as you knew. But there was another guy you have never seen before. He introduced himself as Dylan. At some point you even found yourself grounding your body against his, not spending one single though on Calum.
The main thing why you keep hiding your feelings for Calum, was because if he rejected you, you still had to face him every day and with that you’d be reminded of the embarrassment. But like this, with a guy you’d probably never see again or only if you wanted, it was easy.
Even though you had fun with him, you knew what he was after. You didn’t really have much experience on the dating front, but you weren’t blind. And it actually felt really good to be admired by someone. It gave you the feeling on having power, which was quite the opposite of how you felt almost everyday around your long-time-crush, namely insecure. So, you enjoyed every second of it.
As the concert was over, you almost forgot about your friends. But as soon as you were outside, you heard your phone ring. Just then you saw that you had twelve missed calls.
“Shit.” you mumbled to yourself, picking up your phone.
“Y/N? Where the hell were you?” your one friend was asking you, worry clear audible in her voice.
“I met some friends form school, I texted you guys.” you tried to explain.
Within the conversation with your friends, Dylan asked you for your tag to go and get your jacket for you. While your friend was telling you something, you searched for your tag, found it and handed it to Dylan, mumbling a quiet, “thank you”.
“Did you hear anything of what I just said?” your friend hissed at you.
“I’m sorry what did you say?” with your free hand you held your other ear closed, since it was still kinda crowded and with that comes the noise around you.
“We are already on our way home, Y/N.” sighed your friend.
“What? You did leave without me?” you started to ramble. Worry was building inside of you for the second time this evening on the thought of how to get home all by yourself. It was a good one and a half hour car ride until you were back home.
“Melissa got sick, she threw up on the toilets and I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol. I decided to bring her home, I tried to call you but you weren’t picking up.” she started to explain, you could hear out of the way her voice sounded, that she was sorry, “I even searched for you in the crowd for fifteen minutes but couldn’t find you anywhere and Melissa could barely stand, I had to do something.”
“So, you decided to leave without me?!” you hissed at her, genuinely pissed that your friends left you behind like this.
“What should I have done, huh. Tell me. Should I have let her practically die outside and come back to party with you?” she said sarcastically.
“No, of course not.” you rubbed your forehead, trying to figure out on how to get home yourself.
“Also, where is the problem, why can’t you go home with your friends form school?”
“It’s not that easy, V.” you tried to explain but couldn’t find any words on how to.
No one knew about your crush on Calum, since telling someone would make it become real. Without anyone knowing you could still tell yourself that your feelings not there or that they will go away in a magical way at some point.
“Well, it has to be that easy, Y/N. Except you wanna go home all by yourself.”
“Yeah, I know.”
As you took a look in the direction the boys left to get their and also your jacket you saw them walking towards you.
“I gotta go, V.” you cut her off, “Call me if your home safe, alright. Oh and you owe me.”
“Sure, same goes for you” she hung up, leaving you alone with Calum, Ashton and Dylan.
Last named just handed you your jacket, “There you go.”
“Thank you.” you smiled at him.
“Yo, Y/N” Calum begun, pulling your attention at him, “Where are your friends?”
All the boys were looking at you, waiting for an answer.
“Well, they already left.” you admitted to them, “is there a chance that the three of you have an empty seat in your car for someone like me.”
“I’m sure we can squeeze you in there, Y/N.”, Ashton chuckles as he put an arm around your shoulder.
“Thank you guys so much, really”, you thanked them, relieve washing over you, but you were still a little on edge because of the two men that were walking behind you and Ashton, “You really are my saviors.”
Next thing you knew, you were 60 dollars poorer and walking through a shabby train compartment looking for an opportunity to sit. Your legs were tired as hell. You finally got to feel that, since there is no adrenaline left in your body.
As you found a part in the train where the four of you could sit together, Ashton claimed it really fast as theirs.
“Didn’t I say we could squeeze you in?”, he grinned. A grin you’d like to punch out of his stupid face.
You didn’t even mind traveling by train. It was just that you were really exhausted. Plus, the short walk through the cold and fresh, night spring air, managed to get you sober again. So, now you were trapped in that train, with your dumb crush, a guy that still hope to get you laid tonight and an Ashton that didn’t seem to shut up and the saddest thing, you weren’t even drunk anymore.
The train wasn’t even running for ten minutes until you fell asleep leaning against the train window.
“Yo, this girl is fire and I’m so gonna get it tonight, guys”, Dylan cheered.
But he seemed to be the only one to find it funny how he was messing with a girl that couldn’t defend herself at the moment, because she was fast asleep.
Ashton only commented with, “If you say so.” And he was quick on looking back at his phone. And Calum, he was sending a death glare Dylan’s way. He hated how he talked about you and the fact that you couldn’t defend yourself, made him feel like he had to.
Calum didn’t really like the game that Dylan and you were playing the whole evening, anyways. As he spotted you on the dance floor in the middle of the crowd earlier this evening, he had to smile to himself. For some odd reason, it filled him with joy, watching you having a good time. But as soon as he spotted Dylan behind you, his smile was fast to be replaced with a frown. That should be him, dancing and laughing with you, he thought. But he probably must have messed up at some point of the evening. Why would you prefer to dance with stranger than with your friend Ashton or more specific him?
“Man, I need to take a piss.” Dylan suddenly said out of the blue, making Ashton getting up and joining him.
As Ashton already left to get in another compartment where the toilet was, Calum held Dylan back by his arm.
“Stop it, man.” he warned, glancing at him to make clear what he’s talking about.
“Why? You like her?” Dylan raised his eyebrows in amusement.
“N- No. It’s just… she has a boyfriend, man” he lied.
“Alright, man”, Dylan put his hands up in defense and left for the toilets.
Shortly after Dylan disappeared, following after Ashton.
“Why did you tell him I have a boyfriend?”, you suddenly spoke up.
Calum jumped at your words, since he expected you to be asleep. Suddenly he found himself in a position where he had to explain himself.
“Dylan just isn’t one of the nice guys” he explained quietly with his head down, not looking at you.
You didn’t know where you got the sudden push of confidence as you placed your head on his shoulder and tried to get some more sleep since you had another 30 minutes in the train ahead of you. Also, you weren’t really to keen on having a conversation with Dylan at this point.
Calum’s heart skipped a beat at your sudden move. But at the same time, it feels so natural for you to be close to him and sleeping peacefully. Its kind of calmed Calum down at the same time as it brought, for him, confusing feelings about you up, which he tried to push down for the whole evening now.
“Boyfriend, huh”, Calum heard Dylan say as he spotted you asleep on his shoulders.
As you were at the end station and you had to get out, Calum tried to wake you up softly. He gently shook you at your shoulders.
“We’re here, Y/N. Time to get out” he whispered softly.
As you opened your eyes and looked up at him you had to quickly orientate yourself. As it all came crushing down to you, you took your head off Calum’s shoulder, leaving him instantly missing it. You didn’t know why you got so close to him, but it confused you beyond believe. Why didn’t he reject you as you put your head on his shoulder?
As Dylan, Ashton and actually also Calum were meant to say their goodbyes, because you had another twenty-minute train ride ahead of you until you were home, but the rest of the boys were living in the city, you hugged Dylan and Ashton wishing them a good night. As you were supposed to say bye to Calum, you didn’t know what to do. Hug him? Shake his hand? Wave at him? You heard Calum speak up.
“I’m gonna come with you.”
“What?” your mind took a few seconds to process what he had just told you, “No, Calum, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine, I swear.” You assured him, since bringing you home would take him another hour to get home himself.
“But I want to.” he admitted, glancing at you with a soft smile covering his lips. His looks made you go week in your knees.
“We’ll leave you to it, lovebirds. Goodnight.” Dylan and Ashton said their goodbyes one last time, turning on their heels and walking into the opposite direction of where you were standing.
“Why?” you asked, your voice almost inaudible.
“Because.” was the only explanation you were getting out of him.
You decided to not further protest and just let him bring you home. For whatever reason he was doing it.
Your second train ride was manly quiet and filled with silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, thought, like you had expected it to be. You didn’t know what it was but something changed between the two of you. As you were looking out of the window, making out the few little lights of people’s houses, where they were still awake, probably watching TV and watching the sky, where you could make out a few little stars, since it was cloudy that evening, you could feel Calum's glare at you. It practically burned itself into your skin. It felt like if he would dare to look away from your slightly blushed cheeks, curvy eyelashes and at the way your nose was shaped, he’d die in an instant.
From time to time you send him a glance yourself, allowing your eyes to meet. You couldn’t hold the glare long, though, the butterflies in your stomach getting the best of you. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel insecure around you anymore. You felt safe.
As you got out of the train, Calum insisted on walking you home as well. Even though you though it was too much, since he must be tired himself, he didn’t accept a no.
“You enjoyed the concert?” he suddenly asked out of the blue, his eyes meeting the concrete walkway underneath him. It almost felt as he was getting all shy on you all of a sudden.
“Yeah, except that I lost my friends, and they also went home without me, it was great!” you stated, making your voice sound sarcastic.
“Wasn’t that bad after all in my opinion.” Calum commented, sounding sincere.
“No. No, it wasn’t.” you admitted. A small smile was forming on your face at the thought of how your evening went down since you lost your friends. It was definitely something you were expecting form yourself but it was fun. You told yourself to do stuff like that more often, without the part of losing your friends.
As you were standing in front of your door, the mood was tense. You didn’t know how to thank Calum properly for accompany you this far.
“I had fun tonight, Y/N.”, Calum admitted, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, me too.”
Last thing you knew after a few long seconds of silence, was Calum starring at your lips before his were directly connected with yours. It wasn’t like you weren’t already surprised enough about how this evening turned out, this action tops it all.
As you were over the first shock, you kissed him back. It was an innocent but still a pure kiss. And you didn’t want it to end. All the weeks, even moths of admiring this boy from the far and now he was kissing you. At that moment nothing seemed important, except for the two of you standing there. The thought of Dylan vanished your mind a long time ago and was replaced with Calum and Calum only.
As the two of you broke apart, Calum was the first one to say something.
“Tell me, Y/N. Why are we doing this only now?”
You pressed your forehead against his, smiling. At this moment you felt nothing but happiness. It was a feeling you haven’t witnessed this strong in quite a while.
“I don’t think you have a train back to the city until five in the morning.” you informed him, slightly giggling, “Wanna stay over?”
“I’d appreciate that.”
You opened your front door, stepping inside.
“You’re sleeping on the floor, though.”
#5sos imagine#5sos one shot#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer fan fiction#5 seconds of summer one shot#calum hood#calum hood imagine#Calum Hood one shot#Calum Hood x reader#Ashton Irwin#Ashton Irwin imagine#calum x reader#5sos Calum#Cashton#Calum 5sos#cool guy cal#5sos#this turned out hella cheesy im sorry#college!calum
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*me, shaking* if it's not too late, is it okay for me to ask for all 15 of those oc questions for jasper/friday? if that's too much, feel free to pick and choose, buT ALL ARE GREAT QUESTIONS??
THEY ARE ALL GREAT QUESTIONS AND MY MOMMA DIDN’T RAISE A QUITTER I’VE GOT YOU
Jasper:
1. Have they ever pranked someone? If so, who was it, what did they do and did the prank work?
He LOVES to pull pranks!! Just harmless, fun ones, and he feels like they have to be on “equal footing,” so to speak, so no pranking teachers/bosses/older adults or little kids in general (with the exception of his dads), but it’s definitely there. Shawn and Emily are two favorites
2. What makes them smile the brightest?
The BRIGHTEST? oof, that’d probably be pleasant surprises.
3. If they made a five song playlist, what songs would they want on it and why?
Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra – honestly? because this is the most Jasper song I know
Devil in Disguise – Elvis Presley – his favorite Elvis song
Somebody to Love – Queen – Because I said so and this boy is a sap who loves being in love
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John – his dads would sing it a lot and it’s just attached to good memories
Overtime – Cash Cash – Bouncy
4. It is 3am, your OC is in the loopy giggling stages of being sleepy, what are they laughing about and who are they with?
This happens a LOT with Shawn, because 1) Shawn’s naturally a night owl and WILL keep Jasper up late, and 2) he’s usually been roped into helping him with his homemade monster movie projects, which all HAVE to have that “it happened in the dead of night” vibe because that’s just how Shawn is (and shot in the dead of night for authenticity). And they’re usually laughing about something cheesy and ridiculous
5. Your OC befriends a little bird who, every morning sits on their window sill, what name do they give the bird? What type of bird is it?
He’s probably call it something like Bird, and it’d probably be something mundane, like a pigeon
6. Your OC is at a karaoke bar and they see a cute person across the bar who they want to impress, what song do they sing?
Here’s the thing: my brain tells me that this would not at all happen because Jasper can’t sing without sounding like a wounded moose. My heart tells me he’s going to go completely ham on the first Elvis song he finds and humiliates himself and everyone he’s with
7. Out of an impulsive decision your OC dyes their hair and gets a whole new outfit, what do they now look like?
I can see him going with a dark maroon for the hair. It’d be fun/not a natural hair color that he might justify dying his hair, while still being understated enough to not be competing with his casino-sign-reincarnated-as fashion outfits (he actually does put effort into things like that, which is why he’s never gone through dying his hair even though he likes the idea. Who wants to match their clothes with their hair all the time? Too restricting). As for a whole new outfit? Anything is possible.
8. What is your OC’s favourite joke?
*insert bad pun here*
9. Your OC makes a poster and ships it to their best friend, what does the poster have on it and how does their best friend respond?
A badly-drawn picture of mothman. Shawn doodles little hearts and raunchy phrases all over it and sends it back
10. Your OC just got up, they are groggy and in a dark room, all of a sudden they are attacked by lots of kisses from a dog they do not own, what is their next decision?
Next (unconscious) decision: scream like a little girl
Next conscious decision: turn on lights and locate nearest father to see if they can keep it
11. Your OC is at a party and decides to start some chaotic fun, what do they do?
Unleash a jar of charmed anarchist origami frogs
12. If your OC has to describe their best friend, how would they describe them?
“Pretty chill, for a kinky weirdo.”
13. Your OC is taking care of a child that is not theirs, what happens next?
Depends on the kid, really, but if they’re even remotely high-energy he’s probably going to have as much fun as they do running around playing games until the kid’s tired out. But Jasper’s good with kids, and has been the favorite babysitter of multiple childhoods
14. Your OC decides to live life on the edge for a day, what do they do?
Jasper: I’m gonna try deep dish pizza
Shawn: Dude sweet!! Is it a recipe or did you find a place that sells it?
Jasper, holding a box of very not gluten free deep dish pizza: uhhhh yeah… that’s totally what I mean… of course I’m not going to potentially hospitalize myself just because I want to try the mysterious mushy crusted pizza
15. The moonlight is shines upon your OC as the stars dance upon them, there is a near by river filled with gentle waters as fireflies hover above the tall grass. What does your OC do next?
Stares at the fireflies. Maybe tries to get close to one after a while, but I don’t actually know if Jasper’s seen fireflies before and they’d completely mesmerize him
Friday:
1. Have they ever pranked someone? If so, who was it, what did they do and did the prank work?
She has, actually! She would attempt to prank her parents when she was little. They didn’t really work, because she wasn’t good at it, but her dad would have the decency to pretend they did
2. What makes them smile the brightest?
Any sort of recognition/positive feedback from her mom
3. If they made a five song playlist, what songs would they want on it and why?
Istanbul (not Constantinople) – Milan & Phoenix (electroswing remix) – This has always been a Friday song. No idea why. She’s an electroswing girl
Big Bad Handsome Man – Imelda May – she just likes it
Jasper and Winter are the two characters I have with much of a playlist so I’m going to cheat out of this one I guess Mom did raise a quitter. Sorry, Mom.
4. It is 3am, your OC is in the loopy giggling stages of being sleepy, what are they laughing about and who are they with?
Her Dad’s bad radio karaoke on the drive home from a convention
5. Your OC befriends a little bird who, every morning sits on their window sill, what name do they give the bird? What type of bird is it?
What name: Ferdinand
What type of bird: some kind of chubby-looking finch thing
6. Your OC is at a karaoke bar and they see a cute person across the bar who they want to impress, what song do they sing?
I’m too busy trying to imagine Friday trying to impress a cute person instead of just trying to exist in their presence, awkwardly give them gifts, and hope that they notice to even think of anything
7. Out of an impulsive decision your OC dyes their hair and gets a whole new outfit, what do they now look like?
Friday’s always wanted to try the biker look, but doesn’t think she can pull it off, so we’ll go with that. And red hair, because she’d look pretty with red hair and that’s a great hair color anyways (so sayeth the ginger)
8. What is your OC’s favourite joke?
Sarcastically saying “no” when someone asks you to do something, while doing the thing
9. Your OC makes a poster and ships it to their best friend, what does the poster have on it and how does their best friend respond?
A collage of some sort, probably based off of something she found on Pinterest. It’s hanging on the wall next time she comes to visit
10. Your OC just got up, they are groggy and in a dark room, all of a sudden they are attacked by lots of kisses from a dog they do not own, what is their next decision?
“Get off me, get off, yeah, you’re a nice dog, but you need to get off-”
11. Your OC is at a party and decides to start some chaotic fun, what do they do?
Friday doesn’t really start chaotic fun. Well, there was one snowball fight she started with Jasper, but that doesn’t count it totally does she just doesn’t want to admit to it because she lost
12. If your OC has to describe their best friend, how would they describe them?
Lovable idiot that must be protected at all costs
13. Your OC is taking care of a child that is not theirs, what happens next?
Nothing bad while the kid’s there, but she’ll be so done if they stay for too long. She loves kids, but they drain her energy like tiny gasoline thieves if she has to interact with them for too long
14. Your OC decides to live life on the edge for a day, what do they do?
Throws a party. Does a sexy cosplay. Talks about her feelings instead of living in a state of constant emotional constipation. Any of those would work, really.
15. The moonlight is shines upon your OC as the stars dance upon them, there is a near by river filled with gentle waters as fireflies hover above the tall grass. What does your OC do next?
Stargaze
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PROJECT 3 MINI SI REFLECTION:
Heres me working on the wall that I like better because I like to avoid things. After doing the wall on the left I learned that it is much easier to start from top to bottom. It will also make it more rectangular than square. Also good job past me for adding the line to show the other side of the wall. I think that that other part really sold the picture.
Im not sure why, but I wanted to document the ruler, and the charcoals in the picture. As you can see I did a bunch of testings on a different paper since all the charcoal looks the same even though some are darker and some are more brown.
Going into the art perspective of things, I wanted the wall towards the opening to be brighter compared to the wall closes to the viewer. I think that the use of charcoal really added to the rustic feel of this allyway.
I got into it yuhhhhh I made it darker and it looks really good in my opinions. I cant tell you much about the process because I sorted of just splatter on charcoal and then blended with my blending stump and then added a dark black pastel to sell the picture, while leaving a little bit of white to help emphasize other parts of the brick.
In this picture you can see on the left side some pastels. I used dark green mixed with charcoal to make it rustic but also to show trashcan. Originally I wanted some grey aluminim trash cans, but I found that shaping it was hard and I could not start (mentally). And so with this green trash can that can be seen in school, or even in your neighborhood, I feel that it represents or helps humans relate better to the drawing. I think the famous trash company is WasteManagement? Its the yellow W and the Green M logo (that trash company). You know how bandaids are all called bandaids because the brand BandAid was so popular, but its just became a normalized word? Well that except apply it to trash brands. When you say trash you think of that company no? I hope that this trashcan picture helps people think about trash, pollution, etc,.
Also I did the other wall, but for some reason it does not look as good as the wall on the right?? And I spent a longer time on the left wall just blending than I did on the right wall. I also did the ground! I wanted it to be more loose dirt, but it just ddint happen. Theres also a contrast of brightness to darkness on the floor from the light respectively.
I think at this point I was so disappointed on how the left wall came out and the look of the trashcans I just felt so dejected and I think it appeared in my little alleyway crack/opening. I wanted yellow sun, blue skys etc. But I also like to think that the colors in the sky refer back to my p2 where the sky was a different color palette in contrast to this high energy and brighter happier sky.
You also see the printed out people walking because I was testing out whether or not they would fit in the background.
The moment you’ve been waiting for:
Ok, Im not sure why the wall on the left looks so green? I tried fitting the people in and it didnt look right so lilly reccomended that I exacto knifed it. SHE IS GENIUS. I took her suggestion and then colored over the people with pastels. I also wanted to add rotten apples near the trash area because when I think of trash can I think of yucky old moldy food at the bottom. The apple is also in reference to my decay earth apple in p1. I then was also like why would I only collage people in? why not do it for trash too? I originially was going to draw in trash, but its hard with pastels/charcoal, so I picked up words. Its hard to see but some of the words are: user, reflect, plastic, living and dead.
I really liked these words because user means us humans use this earth as if it were a trashcan. reflect means that this art piece should be used to reflect on what we’ve done to the planet. plastic, literal meaning. living and dead. idk it just fit. like dead like apple decay vs. the living us humans. And it also fit in with my theme of contrast sincce there is so much contrast in everything. I think the last word is look, as in look at this mess reflect on this plastic weve created we are all users of this earth living and causing the dead.
I also forgot to add flies, but thats ok because I think it wouldve looked weird with them anyways.
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The Cocktail Stick Challenge
For the cocktail stick challenge, we were given (surprise) a bunch of cocktail sticks. However, the catch was that we had to make something from the cocktail sticks, wether we used them to paint or incorporated them as a sculpture. We were limited only by the cocktail sticks.
My first idea with the cocktail sticks started off with me just playing and bending with them. This led me to start creating a 2D eye, while applying them flatly on some sellotape. After finishing the layout, i thought it would be interesting to see the shadows the ‘eye’ would create with the light shining through it. I had to experiment with different types of lighting and the range in which the light shines. The result was interesting and led me to create a face outline to shine the light through. Carrying on, i had to find an alternative to sellotape - which led me to acetate, with them both having transparency. However, acetate was thicker which made it more sturdy and had a bigger surface for me to put the face on. The downside: its not sticky. I tried many methods of sticking the cocktail sticks to the acetate , which included - PVA, weaving them through the acetate by creating holes with a poker. None of these methods seemed to be effective and it fell apart after some time. after trying these methods i decided to cut double sided tape into thin strips and then stick it to the cocktail sticks. Due to the superior stickiness of the tape, it worked really well. The face is very basic and i didn’t want anything too complex. Moving forward, i had to use a big light in the photography studio to create a contrasting shadow, which would project the face outline with boldness. I did a small photoshoot and captured the result. Imaged are some of my favourite images i took.
While playing with the cocktail sticks, i was experimenting with the printing press and acrylic and using the cocktail sticks to create an interesting print which added embossed qualities to the paper. During this exercise i called upon a friend in the class to help me do it, as i didn’t fully understand how the press worked. But she shared her skill well and now i was able to use it later, when playing with the sticks.
After learning my new skill with the press and the cocktail sticks, i wanted to experiment with the skill further.
I wanted to find some inspiration from some artists, so i had a dive into some books from the classroom that i thought would be useful to help me find some inspiration - to help progress my thinking and ideas. I found an artist called Piet Mondrian famous for his Composition of Red Blue and Yellow. The book featured some of his works and one of them really caught my eye and interested me, which was : Pier and Ocean. I thought the piece had a similar quality to the embossing skill i learnt, with the boldness and harshness of the lines. As well, they almost looked like collaged cocktail sticks and thought it would be a good thing to influence what i create with the cocktail sticks.
I also looked at ‘The Handbook of Painted Decoration’ which offered some really interesting wood patterns that i really enjoyed. This gave me a sense of direction to create an embossed print of some rectangle blocks ( as if they were wood) I wanted to experiment with lines and texture and thought it would be challenging to attach a cocktail stick to a piece of string to add black lines of acrylic. This was to create a wood effect on the the block prints. From this, i stencilled charcoal over the embossed paper and decided to photocopy the results. Here, i played with the reduce and enlarging tools on the printer to see how this could affect the outcomes. Furthermore, i used the string and stick method i used previously, to paint on lines to create different styles of wood textures. My favourite outcome is the mixture of charcoal blocks with acrylic lines and texture.
For my third cocktail stick idea, i decided i would make something 3D with the sticks and use them as building blocks. Ive recently been watching a lot of Star Wars, as i am a huge Star Wars geek. So, i thought i would challenge myself and make a model X-wing out of the sticks. The only problem i faced was how i was going to put the cocktail sticks together. I thought about using thread and tying them together at the intersections, however this became too fiddly and awkward. I then resorted to a hit glue gun, as it would go hard after a few seconds, so the sticks would stay where i wanted them. Out of all the ideas i had this was most fun for me. Naturally, as it was star wars themed and it all just came to me. The way i put the sticks together and how i structured it wasn’t planned, but only based of a photo reference and memory. I really enjoyed the outcome and decided to paint it white and tie string to the top so i could let it hang at my desk. Im still thinking about making a TIE fighter to go with it, but maybe another time.
As a whole i really enjoyed the cocktail stick project and how its helped my understanding of art. I’ve understood how i can still create even though my resources are limited. I was still able to paint and construct, but i had to approach it in new ways that i haven’t before. I thought that was very interesting to come out of creating and seeing what i’ve made with very little. Im excited to see how it carries on with future projects...
For now thats all,
Bye!
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Arplis - News: Hollywood on the Hudson: At Home in Upstate, New York, with Amanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen
Weve been following Amanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen for years as they leapfrogged around LA. Amanda is an actress-turned-interior designer who has been on a decades-long remodeling tear. Her style is pleasingly simple, sustainable (since before it was a buzzword), and thrifty: see, for instance, Backyard Bunkhouse and11 Money-Saving Strategies from a Hollywood House Flipper. Her partner in the overhauling business is her husband: theyve lived in 25 places in their 31 years of marriage (along the way, they had four sons), and Corbinthough busy acting, writing, and running his own production companyis a Star Handyman.
After being MIA for a while, they recently resurfaced: When Finley, the youngest of our four, graduated high school and took off for NYC, Corbin and I looked at each other and agreed it was time for another adventure, she wrote.Our book, Open House, had just been released, so we decided to sell up in LA and take a book-signing drive across the country in search of our next project. They made it all the way to the Hudson Valley, where Amandas old friend Priscilla Woolworth has resettled, along with a surprising number of other LA defectors. After experiencing their familys first white Christmas, they decided to stay put.
They knew exactly what to do next: find a structure waiting to be given the Amanda/Corbin treatment. After four weeks of real estate hunting, they bought an 1880s little farmhouse in Germantown, New York, that needed everything. They camped out in a loft rental in nearby Hudson, found a local contractor, and started the demo. Weather dictates a lot here, which was an eye opener for us coming from Californiaand also learning that life has a slower pace here; love that, says Amanda. Heres what the place looks like a year later.
Photography by Amanda Westby, unless noted.
Above: Corbin and Amanda and sons at their new residence (the photo was taken by their oldest sons girlfriend and became this years holiday card). Hands-on creativity runs in the family: two sons work as art directors/production designers in LA., another is in the start-up side of tech, and the youngest is at NYU film school.
The couple bought the house from third-generation owners (who live nearby and were selling when their mother passed away). It had been pale yellow with a front door that was purple and white with a bit of turquoise thrown in, says Amanda. Its now painted a greenish-charcoal called Deep River and the door is Grand Canyon Red, both from Benjamin Moore. Upstate gentrifiers have been accused of defaulting to noirish exteriors, but Amanda defends the choice: its a classic color that draws attention to the architecture and looks great against the backdrop of all these seasons. Plus for every dark house, there are ten white farmhouses around here. Photograph by Jessica Dube.
Above: The couplehes 65, she just turned 60say they love their new surroundings and plan to stay upstate. Theyve become part of a community thats big on bartering: Amanda Westby, co-owner of Alder & Co, employs Amanda as a model in exchange for clothes (Amanda also took most of the photos shown here), and Amanda says she recently gave her doctors husband remodeling advice for medical care.
Im continually struck by the adventure of this new experience and discovering an entire life so different from palm trees, beaches, convertibles, and eternal sunshine, Corbin recently wrote on Facebook. My biggest problem, I guess, if Im allowed to go there, is that I have tons of time to think without all the distractions that Im used to.And when the snow falls, its even more quiet than the normal quiet that Im getting used to. You can hear your heartbeat, literally or perhaps thats the shoveling of snow forcing blood through my veins.
Above: The back doors and basement bulkhead are also Benjamin Moore Grand Canyon Red: I knew if I was going with dark monotone windows, I had to find a place to uplift, says Amanda.
She learned about remodeling historic houses from her father, who was an actor-turned agent and the original house flipper in the family: I grew up in southeast England, and he used to drag me around to look at properties and would ask my opinion. So the whole house buying, fixing-up, reselling thing came from my childhood. And Corbin, coincidentally, learned carpentry from his mother and uncle.
Above: The front door opens to the original staircase: as it was, the door banged into the stair, says Corbin. We fixed that and had to reproduce some of thebalusters. Above: Much of the art and furnishings have traveled with the couple from house to house. (Corbin has become a master packer and uses Pods as an economical way to move households.) Amanda bought the paintinga 1951 work by Brazilian Constructivist Lygia Clark30 years ago while filming a movie in Brazil. The zinc umbrella and cane holder is a long ago LA swap meet purchase.
Amanda tells us: Weve been at this practically since our first date, when Corbin showed me his house that he had just finished himself, and I said, I think were going to have to make some changes. It was full-blown Santa Fe-style and needed some tweaking and layeringsome soul. The English in me came out, and thats when we started blending our styles, and buying and selling things.
Above: We went down to the studs and nothing else, says Corbin of the 1,700 square foot interior. This is the equivalent of a bionic house. Explains Amanda: We replaced or added: HVAC, all plumbing, all electric, insulation, new drywall, bathrooms, and the kitchen.
Their most dramatic move was to open up the main floor and introduce oak beams throughout that are both structural (the ones shown here) and cosmetic. The floor is the original sub floors stripped and sealed with Pure Matte Finish from Vermont Natural Coatings.
Above: The vintage Franklin stove came from Hoffmans Barn in Red Hook, NY. The walls throughout are painted with lime wash from Portola in LA. Amanda had the curtains stitched from canvas drop cloths (each is a hemmed single panel).
I like a neutral balance, so drop cloths always work, she says. I usually make them into shades, but you hardly notice these curtains, and in the winter you can pull them shut to make the room feel warmer.
Above: The living space opens to a roomy dining area and kitchen. The cabinets are Ikeawith Ikeas vertical-groovedHittarp fronts in an off-white lacquer that Amanda painted herself. This isnt something they recommend, but it worked well: even the chipping looks authentic. I used a heavy Kilz primerno sandingfollowed by two coats of Benjamin Moore Chelsea Gray in a satin finish.
Amanda found the center island marble slab on Craigs List for $150 and drove two hours in a U-Haul to get it.
Above: The dining table is one of several pieces that the couple found during their first pilgrimage to the Brimfield flea market. We arrived in the rain witha list of items we needed, including maximum and minimum measurements for each piece, says Amanda.
Corbin bought the tablemaybe originally a schoolhouse piece, definitely Europeanusing money he had saved from the many years his mother tucked bills in his Christmas stocking. I finally realized I dont have to worry about never having a buck in my hand, and decided to honor my late mother with a table that we love.
Above: The counters are butcher block from Ikea and Amanda finished the cabinets with painted wood knobs she bought at Home Depot. The Kitchen Aid stove and other appliances are also from Home Depot: I go when theyre having a buy two get the third free sale. Above: The aluminum hooks in the back entry came from a favorite hardware/antiques store in La Bisbal, Spain, within driving distance of their vacation house, A Fixed-Up Farm in the South of Francethe one project they say theyll never sell.
Recognize the dog painting? We doit appeared in Remodelista: The Organized Home and our postAmanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen Air Their Dirty Laundry.
Above: The moody back room with new built-in bookshelves is the library/TV room and Corbins home office. The lime wash here proved tricky: the couples two oldest sons drove the paint across the country and it froze along the way. When they painted this room, it was streaky and lumpy in parts, says Corbin. I came back from LA with more paint and went over it. I didnt finish but realized it looked right: we like patched-together rather than perfect.
The Emmy is Corbins mothers lifetime achievement awardJeanne Cooper, the grande dame of daytime, was on The Young and The Restless for 40 years, and played Corbins mother on LA Law.
Above: Amanda notes that the cold climate has inspired her to get back into pillows and blankets draped on sofas, and even living with stuff: its about feeling cozy. She got the sofa and chair at the Hammertown Barn in nearby Pine Plains: Theyre from the summer tent sale: I was the first in line at 7 am. Above: The lime-washed powder room is two-toned, another signature touch of Amandas. The Little Bo Peep collage was a recent surprise gift: One of the original owners came by and said, My mother made this tapestry piece and Id like it to remain in the house.' Above: Amandas deskpurchased for $150 at a local auctionis set in a bay on the side of the house. Most of the windows are original and have beautiful glass that ripples, she says. I hung bird feeders right outside, so I can watch the birds as I work. Above: There are three bedrooms upstairs. The red painting, by Peter Aspell, is another fave that goes with us from house to house. Above: The master bedroom has a conceptual headboard: Amanda dragged home from a walk along the Hudson River near their house. In lieu of doors, she enclosed the closets with curtains made from a Les Indiennes print purchased at the companys Hudson, NY, shop. It a very informal little house; curtains lend a relaxed feeling and they dont take up any room. Above: Corbins guitar in a corner of the guest room.The upstairs floors are painted Benjamin Moore Wrought Iron. The reclaimed beams used throughout came from The Hudson Companyand from sellers on Craigs List. Above: The rebuilt upstairs bath has a new-old look. The tub, along with three sinks, came from Hoffmans Barn: Amanda and Corbin hauled them to a local refinisher (but left the exterior of the tub stripped). The painted floors and beams extend appear here, too: Our contractor said, you cant have wood in the bath, and we said, Yes you can,'says Amanda. Above: The houses ceramic doorknobs are original. The giant medicine cabinet next to the sink is one of the couples Brimfield finds: its an antique jelly cupboard that came with decoupaged doors: Amanda whitewashed it and then tackled our kitchen cabinets, says Corbin.
Whats next? Amanda reports that theyre looking for a larger place in the area to tackle nextwed like to have enough room for the whole family and friendsand some rescue donkeys and goats The plan is to keep this house and down the line rent it out. I want to host people in cool environments, while I go gray and grow veggies, says Amanda.
More upstate style:
Architect Visit: A Dutchess County Farmhouse Transformed
Hudson Valley Hues: At Home with an Inventive Textile Designer
Saved from Abandonment: A Historic Farmhouse Receives the Ultimate Make-Under
And for many places to stay in the area, consult to our Design Travel posts.
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you call this a education
i would like all of you to look up desegergation in the cleveland public school system the casewestern reserve facts about cleveland and reolise the black kids didnt want to be bussed eathor and the situation promoted predigedous i liked the black nurses my mom worked with we were poor so this dont pertain to me thay by way of bussing rubbed the poverty the black kids were living in in there faces bussing them into our nice neghborhood and trust me thay got even for it they were mean thay made us mean and we all knew the school system only cared about that court order of complience thay got us all equal the rich whites moved out (white flight) rented there houses to anybody bit off absontee lanloard so we all got a shitty education in a all around shitty place in a flat ass broak school system we went to school to fuck with eachother and our shitty teachers and eat free lunch it was shitty too but warm for me atleast the school fernnes worked ours didnt it gets cold as hell in cleveland i lived with a working single mother in a big old ass house i was jullous of the project kids thay had a appartment attendent daddy and there moms were home and jenerally nice my mom worked 3 to 11 and had to take a bus cross town to work she was washing her nursing uniform /on the way to work/ at work/ on her way home from work/ sleeping for work all that and nothing at our house worked and we were poor as hell nowonder i dont want to work it dosent get you anywhere i wanted my mom to go on welfair when we did see her she was primaraly bitching about us cutting out of that shitty school system my mom was a L.P.N in a black neighborhood hospital her tough black head nurse mom went and taugh our mom the Aretha franklen song R.E.S.P.E.C.T and gave her a lether belt she wore on her night gown boy did she sock it to me and my smart ass brother tommy it became her hard working mother theam song funny thing is i sure do miss my mom i was a ass hole tendencys like my dad who didnt give her a penny of child support hats off to my daughters dad he didnt quit his job, he saw his kid and his support was 500 each for 2 diffrent mothers it did make me have respect for him i had the other kind of father he had a lot of say in my house and she came from a one night stand isnt life funny i origanally came from a outstanding cathlic family at one time my mothers side of it was filthy rich and lived on millionars row on the east side of cleveland where the poor black kids live when i was a kid that where the jewish hospital she worked at was we lived on west 101 next to west Bolavard She worked on east bolavard 100 west streets downtown 100 east streats it took her a oher and a half each way. we usto joak about our visatations with her for the most part we didnt have parents my dad called about twice a year i think to argue/upset her and to make me miss him i was his little baby before he replaced me with my half sister. the town did a flip over when the blacks migrated up from the south thay moved to our neighborhood. whites have this bad tendency to move out first to the west side then east bolavard (now marten luther king drive) to west bolavard our side then thay ran to the suburbs welthy blackes ran to places like east cleveland only the the harty had no choice but to just stay alive in the city of desegergattion and poverty hats off to my black poor brothers and sisters we are alive not nessasaraly ok but alive Right! only we know what it was really like to be a poverty stricken fatherless kid being bussed all over hell to make the God knows who happy certainly not any of us our high school was old ass too one of the first in cleveland its now a appartment building thay could have made the black schools better got them some new buildings there was a lot more black kids got them new teachers and we could have got togethor at the (i loved it) suplamentary center we all behaved there it was cool and fun and a musical cultural experence now that was the only bussing we every really needed. that should have happened more often insted of it being a field trip we didnt need a black white mix thay needed better schools and we needed cultural awarness ( all of clevelands vast nashanalitys) multi cultur school in appropreatly down town cleveland it was usually saturday or pay day it should have ben each kid one week day and fix the damn schools does anybody elts have p.t.s.d. from desegergation and our collager ramedial classes when you realised what thay did to you post tramatic the after imbarasement i went to community collage and the high school kids were making fun of me and im the one that was invited to join the smart chick sawaraty thank you cleavand public schools you should have focused on spelling not bussing and this is a blog not a collage paper i had my tuter check that shit im not learning too spell in collage i had more important things by them management and accounting oppertunity lost i graduated with gold ribbon and tastle ohness i like school so much i stayed 4 insted of two years and got a dubble associat degree in business management and marketing
can i get a AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA men!
by the way i prefer black church music its just got more sway to it like our nith grade graduation quire we didnt learn a damn thing but buddy could we sing black music i liked it i liked it I liked IT amazing grace never sounded so good and swing low sweet charit me the fuck out of bussing!!!!!!!!!!!
i learn some good dancing moves an all kinds of ways to cuss and make fun of people and how to fight tooo it was a education im so unapreshetive down right un gratefull i thought it was soposto be a usefull one well its all in how you look at it i guyes my city black ways did attract my daugters father and i had a beautifull daughter and found out what child support is i thought it was a cuss word the way my mom always said it it was usualy sorounded by lots of cuss words and we certanly never benifited from that damn word that made my mom so mad. my daughter deffonety had a better experemce with that word its not a post tramatic my mothers about to throw a fit shut off notice child supprt rants about my pece of shit father his bitch and her bastard kids (memories there so beautifull and yet how do i clasify the child support rants)
THANK YOU ROGER (for not being a pece of shit father) I couldnt help but love you yes i knew i benifited too thats why she didnt have to do shit crazy as it sounds i needed and found a daddy it was you and not in some hoker way i didnt want you to be pissed at me and quit your job it did make me behave trust me it was part of the reason i marries brian he didnt piss off you
west bolavard should be named( i will survive or shackleton bolavard) inspite of it all my mom did eventually thrive and this bitch is still alive trust me its a marical but thats another story we will just call that the year of divorce and psyco kenny by the way im writing a book its called A SERIES OF TRAMATIC EVENTS a thriller biography with out the real names
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Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
"Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
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Good maternity insurance in Michigan?
We are looking for good affordable maternity insurance here in Michigan. Everything that I've found has a huge waiting period, and they still expect me to pay through the entire time. Any help?""
Will Hillary's Plans to End the War and Create an Affordable Health Plan Work?
Hilary thinks things through. She's pragmatic and capable of modifying things to work in an evolving world. She understands the give and take of a complex economy and her goal is to restore peace and prosperity; unity and pride. Whenever I hear an Obama supporter claim Obama will end the war or deliver a health insurance plan that works I think -- Don't bet on it. Obama tries to copy Hillary, but doesn't understand the complexities at the level she does, not does he seem consistent about anything. He's also more in the pocket of Special interests than Hillary -- though he denies that all the time -- not good. I have utmost confidence that Hillary is brilliant and dedicated and knows how to create solutions that work. The things she talks about, are what she will deliver, you can see that by observing her voting record. Hillary does what she says she will do, that's why I trust Hillary. Hillary '08""
Will getting a CA medical marijuana card affect my health insurance coverage?
I was considering getting a medical marijuana card here in California for my insomnia but I was wondering if it'll go on my medical record that I use cannabis and therefore make my health insurance more expensive. Will my doctor be able to see that Im a medical marijuana user?
Which do you think is the cheapest car insurance company in chicago?
Which do you think is the cheapest car insurance company in chicago?
Young drivers car insurance question?
i am 20 years old in april and my car insurance is sky high beeing quoted 5000+ for a little 1.1 car there must be a way for it to go down as i see people younger then me driving round in bigger litre cars then me anyone know the secret?
How much are typical monthly home owners insurance rates?
i am doing a school project and the only way to figure it out is to call and talk to a reprisentitive, and i would really rather not. I just need a ballpark figure... $500? $1000? any ideas?""
How much is automobile commercial insurance?
Vehicle insurance
Insurance on 1965 Ford Mustang?
What would it cost annually in Texas for a 16 year old? Any info on other years (66-68)?
Does anyone know of an affordable individual health insurance plan in Texas?
Does anyone know of an affordable individual health insurance plan in Texas?
My car insurance company has asked me for my proof of no claims?
But i either can't find it or it was never issued to me from my last insurer. what do i do? now my policy has been cancelled and need to set up some temporary cover. I have 4/5 years no claims.
Can my car and I be added to my boyfriends car insurance policy?
I'm buying a car tomorrow and insurance for myself only is going to be over a $100 a month. If I get added to someones policy its wayyy cheaper. My boyfriend has progressive insurance. Could my car and I be added to his policy?
Best optical insurance?
Which insurance is accepted at the most places?
How much would an insurance be a month for a 01 lexus Is300 for a guy thats 18 and first time driver..average?
How much would an insurance be a month for a 01 lexus Is300 for a guy thats 18 and first time driver..average?
Insurance Fraud? Help!?
A couple days ago I was driving to a doctors appointment, I was rushing and very nervous. I got to a road that was closed where I had to back up. I looked behind me and saw no cars. Then I started talking to my mother who was in the car about if the road was closed or just partly blocked off. I looked in my mirrors and started to back up, somehow I must have missed the car that was very close behind me. I barely tapped the bumper, my mom didn't even realize it happened that's how slight the tap was. The woman immediately jumped out of her car and started screaming and cussing like a maniac. The police blocking the road even noticed and had to come over to control her. There was no damage to my car or hers, however she was driving a 92 buick and it was a piece of junk. I was worried she'd try to get something out of the whole thing so I took pictures of everything. This must have made her angry and she started trying to take pictures of my mother and I as well as bird poop on my car? Today I got a call from her insurance agency, saying she claimed injuries, a cracked windshield, and a messed up bumper. I am so angry! I know I did not do any damage, much less injure her! I'm a collage student and really can't afford my rates going up because of this. I called my insurance company and sent them pictures. They are trying to investgate. Anyway, has anyone else experienced something like this? How do these things usually turn out? Is this insurance fraud on her part?""
How much would insurance for 2009 Ford Focus be? Estimate?
I'm wondering how much insurance would cost for the 2009 Ford Focus for a 17 year old girl be? I want to buy a 2009 Ford Focus when I turn 17 not this coming up January but next. Oh and prices of how much the car costs would be nice too. Thanks!
Getting health insurance with a pre-existing condition?
I just quit my job and no longer have health insurance. I also have a very mild case of Chrons disease....I take pills daily for it, but other than that I'm in great health. I would like to get on a health insurance plan. What are my options? Do you think I will get turned down because of my Chrons? If I can get on health insurance, what range will I be paying per month for coverage?""
Excluded driver totaled my new car. Does his property damage liability insurance pay for my car? Any advice?
Someone who was exluded from my car insurance drove my car yesterday and had an accident that was at his fault. He had only liability insurance with bodily damage, property damage and underinsured motorist protection. My insurance is not going to cover anything since he is an excluded driver. We live in TX, USA. Can my new wrecked car be considered as a property damage involved in that accident? The other vehicle and driver are OK, only small dent on the rear bumper, but my new car was totally destroyed, not driveable, my insurance refused even go to look and inspect. Schould I seek any legal help if his liability insurance refuses to pay? Is it possible to get any legal help in this situation? What to do and where to go? What to do with the car? It is still on the nearest to the accident parking lot. The property damage limit on his insurance is 25,000. I just bought my car few months ago for 20,000. Thank you for your time, I appreciate your help.""
Why do insurance rates vary so much between states?
Sometimes states that are right next to each other have totally different insurance rates from the same company for the same car and driver. It's not like driving magically becomes more dangerous when you cross the state line, so why does this happen?""
I'm disabled a on social security. Is there a cheaper auto insurance that I can apply to in Florida?
Im moving to flordia on March 3ed. An I need to find cheap auto insurance. Here in NJ we have a program called Dollar a day. But its only for people on Medicaid or Medicare. Does Fl have any programs?
What is the best car to buy in terms of getting cheap car insurance as a first time driver.?
I am over 25 but things are still costly.
Car insurance went DOWN after accident?
I was involved in a one vehicle accident and had a failure to control and hit a guardrail. I called today to get my insurance back and its lower ?? I thought it would go up? Also I ...show more
""Insurance problem, auto?
recently took a new job in Canada as a social worker and tried to add business coverage on my vehicle. I was told by my insurance company that this would be commercial because there is some risk I would have kids in the car. I called another company who told me it is just business. The initial company is cancelling my policy as they do not offer commercial insurance which they claim I require. They are not cancelling it for any negative reasons but will this cancellation show up and effect my rates even though it is not my fault. I tried to add the correct insurance but they did not have it so they are cancelling me. Other companies say I do not need commericial coverage so I should be ok with business but because there is a this cancellation I worry. I know if you have a cancellation for things like non payment or tickets it will impact you but what about this?
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Any cheap car insurances for first time drivers?
I am 20 and I have been driving for 2 years and recently got my own car. But I heard car insurance is expensive and I wanted to know if there's any car insurance that is cheap. I live in Southern Cali. Do you recommend anything? Please help. And thank you.
How does being self employed affect car insurance rates?
I was laid off a month ago (I'm actually happy I was because I was not enjoying work at all). I've started my own company, and I mostly work from home and I don't drive ...show more""
What is the best car insurance company for a first time driver?
What is the best car insurance company for a first time driver?
Would anybody please tell me what do I have to do to become a car insurance broker?
I am interested in car insurance industry and would like to become an insurance broker. I don't know the course or the line to follow.
Has anyone used comparisons.org for auto insurance?
i'm looking for cheap insurance and don't know if i can trust them. any suggestion from anyone?
Car insurance help!!!!!!!?
how does the car insurance work if your car was stolen but had full coverage
What is the cheapest insurance firm for new drivers?
i am 21, female, just passed test...does anyone know any ggod insurance firms to try?""
How much will Insurance Be ????;?
Ok I'm 22 and I'm looking for a car, It's between a: 2009 BMW X5 2009 BMW 328i 2009 Mercedes C250 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 2008 Audi A4 2008 Toyota Tundra 2007 ...show more""
Car insurance policy in new York?
When you get into a vehicle accident even though only one driver is at fault does both drivers insurance policy rate goes up?
Problem with Admiral car insurance... heeelp!!!!?
Hello Thank you for entering in my post I've been with Admiral insurance for more than 1 year, which is my 1st car insurance since I've been in England I've been driving for more than 12 years and I've never made a claim before it was a normal and clear day and i was going to work when I had an accident with a girl riding a moped It was a very silly accident, fortunatelly none was injured, and I only had a broken wind-mirrow, which is no more than 50 of damage I had to call Admiral, my insurer, to sort the problem out, I had no other choice Admiral told me I was not covered to go to work since on the policy agreement says: use for social, domestic and pleasure purposes only. And, according to them, to be covered, my policy had to be: use for social and COMMUNITY. So Community for them means, going to work, it is ridiculas but that's what i was told However they said we cover you, you will have to pay 23.74 extra and you will be covered, it was frustrating, a theft, but I let it go... The absurd story didn't even start yet! I gave Admiral all the details which the police had given to me the day of the accident plus some pictures of the scene, which I took before to leave that day Admiral sent an inspector who interwied me at my house. This inspector wrote a statement of 6 PAGES! about my accident, however, I need to say, he did a very good job On the statement states that none was injured and the fault lies with the moped rider, which is also what the police said on the scene. In addtion this inspector suggested to call my insurer again to finally get my car fixed. Admiral told me I will have to pay for the damage myself and, after all their investigation, if they find out it was not my fault, I can ask e refund for the damage, and they added that this investigation can take up to 3 years, so I will have my money back in 3 years! this is because according to them, the moper rider was injured This is absolutely incredible What would you suggest? I would like to get rid of this Admiral policy as soon possible, I would like to claim against it Who could I call to claim against Admiral? Any suggestion according this matter will be very apprecitive thank you in advance for your help""
More to pay for tesco car insurance after 1year?
I have tesco car insurance and now after having 1 year tesco car insurance they wanna increase me to pay more monthly . why ? I have same car and same conditions . should i change car insurance?
California motorcycle license???????????
I want to get a motorcycle license but heres my question, I dont have a motorcycle and if I was to buy one how could I get it insured? if I dont have a MC license? cause I know the insurance guy will ask me for my MC license first ( just like when you insure a car ) and heres another question, if I had a MC how would I be able to show proof of insurance to the place where you take the MC highway test ( not sure what its called ). Just to let you know I dont know anyone who has a MC so I could borrow it to take the test.""
I am a unemployed college student and I need health insurance. Who has great affordable plans?
I am a unemployed college student and I need health insurance. Who has great affordable plans?
What is the average cost of replacing a water heater? Which would you choose insurance payment or heater?
My water heater needs to be replaced (electric) I have a warranty insurance that will replace it however there are a few non covered costs - the pan, the permit, some other part, it will cost me $512.00. They have given me the option to cash out which means they cut me a check and I try to figure it out on my own. Problem is the cashout amount is unknown and it will take up to two weeks for me to find out what the amount is before i can even decide - two weeks without a hot shower is HELL! But I'm not sure what to do. What would you do? Can anyone guess as to what amount they MIGHT give me? The insurance company is American Home Shield. ANY advice will help. I'm a new home owner and don't know a thing about house stuff! Thanks!""
What will life insurance cost me ? Ballpark!!
what will life insurance cost me? im just looking for a ballpark price. i know i know . factors. just say im 40, a little over whight, non-smoker, 90,000.00 i have 10 at work. so if i die my family gets 100,000.00 what is this called. life term? or something. like i said just looking for a W.A.G. per month 10$? 20$? 5$? 30$? Thanks""
Who has the cheapest car insurance?
My friend is 16, has a 3000GT VR4, has his own insurance plan, and pays only 80 a month. I went to Esurance, who apparently is the cheapest, and they gave me a quote for 194 a month for a 300ZX, which has 20 horsepower LESS. I don't even.""
How much is the average fine for violation 21461(a) in California?
I was driving today and got pulled over, and given citation 21461(a) for not obeying a Right Turn Only sign. I live in Orange County, CA, and was wondering about how much the fine will be, as well as if my insurance rate will increase. Thanks in advance.""
Car insurance claim failed. I am totally innocent and will not give up. Where do I stand with this?
The accident happened on a roundabout I was already on, someone pulled out on me and I T-boned the side of their car. An 'independent' assessor has looked at my car and wrote a damage report which went to the other drivers insurance company (who I am personally claiming from as my insurance is 3rd party cover only). Their company have now wrote to me saying they are denying my claim because: They can't understand why the whole front of the car is damaged (erm..because I T-boned the other car!) They can't understand why the nearside wing is damaged (erm..because she kept driving for a few seconds, which tried to drag my car to one side. The chassis went out of line and it moved the wing out of position). They can't understand how the nearside door is damaged (erm..it isn't!). Is there much else I can do other than write to argue their statement? A solicitor or small-claims court would not be cost effective as I'm only claiming approx 400. What can I do?""
How long after a DMV hearing will your insurance be notified ?
I recently had my DMV hearing am in the process of getting a sr-22 with another insurance company . I am not the primary holder of my current insurance I want to avoid their rate to go up or for them to find out . How many days do I have to cancel my current insurance before they cancel me .?? Please help ?
""If I ride my friends motorcycle, do I need insurance?""
I have my license, and will be getting my own bike at some point, but for now, if I drive my friends motorcycle around, do I need insurance for it? Or does his cover me?""
Average medical cost of baby first year?
We have a $600 deductable with an 80/20 co-pay for our health insurance. Supposing the baby gets sick one time in the first year & goes to regular checkups, what would the medical expenses be? How much is birth at a hospital with an epidural & 2 day stay? Of course, this is all assuming we have a healthy baby.""
Guaranteed Car Insurance?
I am having trouble finding car insurance because I am only eighteen, and my car is quite expensive. Does anyone know of an insurance site that will give you insurance no matter the conditions? I am willing to pay any amount to get comprehensive cover.""
I drive without insurance and got a speeding ticket ...?
Okay guys, I'm in a very tough situation right here. & before I get to the question, Yes I know I was stupid and I have learned my lesson. Okay, I'm 18 years old and had my license for almost a year now. My dad lets me drive his car (which is under his and my moms name) ... he knows I don't have insurance and still lets me drive (I guess it's because he's too cheap at the moment) ... One day I was coming back from college and got on the interstate to get home faster. Speed limit was 55mph but I ended up going 78mph (I live in Virginia by the way) ... Luckily the cop didn't mark me for reckless driving, just speeding. I showed him my registration and stuff during the time I got stopped but he didn't say anything about me having no insurance. I checked online and my fine is $200 for speeding ... My question is whose insurance will go up?? I don't have insurance ... will I get in trouble? I didn't tell my dad yet because he'll kill me. Thanks.""
Insurance pays for Impound fee's help?
Here is my situation. I was driving from school and a crazy driver made me avoid him almost hitting me causing me to crash into a parked car on the curb, the guy recklessly driving left the scene and i got stuck with all the blame. I'm a teenager 17 years old i have no license nor permit but i was responsible enough to get myself insured in the car full coverage i had to find ways to get from school to home and from home to work. Well my car got impounded and now i'm stuck with a hefty ticket for 1) making an unsafe move 2) Driving without a license and my dad got a ticket for letting me drive without a license. The car is totaled from the right side of the front and it's a Toyota Celica GT-S 2004. My questions is this. Will insurance pay for the towing and impound fee's that are about to hit me? I live in California. I have full coverage on insurance and i already called them and I'm expecting a call back. I really can't afford the impound fee's and my dad is in a very heavy financial situation. I pay for the car myself and insurance which is hefty. I'm just wondering if insurance will pay for the Impound fee's and the cars damage. Thanks for your answesr.""
Young drivers car insurance uk?
I'm having a lot of trouble with find insurance. I really need help , or advice , what am i doing wrong .. everyone around me is getting deals of around 1.200-1.800 pounds.. I've chosen a Clio which is one of the cheapest insurance cars , I also tried , adding different drivers or companies , black boxes etc -.- and the cheapest quote i got was 6.500.. which is like triple the price of the car . Anyone any ideas ? Help.""
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
This is About car insurance?
I am getting a car soon and I want to kniw how much insurance was for me. I'm 17 and a boy so I know isles should be high. And is it a monthly thing or a one time fee?
Whats the Cheapest Car Insurance i can get in British Columbia?? 2qestion read on?
i want to buy my first car next year when i turn 17 but i need to know how much insurance i have to pay!?!?! the car i kind of want is a good running beginner car any advice of which would suit my needs car??
Travel Car Insurance?
Does anyone know of any websites that can allow insurance on a car for about a week just for travel? I am going to Vegas and using my mom's car but I have to get insurance on it but I only want it for the week. Any ideas ??
Where can I find good life insurance leads?
I got my life insurance license several months ago and have yet to sell a single policy because I can't find any decent leads. I'm looking for exclusive leads. I don't want to share them with other agents.
The supposed 40million that don't have Health insurance..how many?
How many don't have it because they don't care to have it? How many don't have it because they can not find an affordable insurance plan? How many in this 40million number are not legal citizens? How and who came up with this number?
Where can i get on birthcontrol cheap and without insurance in dc or md?
I really need to get on birthcontrol and i'm looking to get on the pill. i need something affordable and i dont have insurance. I also go to school in a different state than where i live so i would need to get it comehwere that allows me to pick it up from different pharmacies depending on where I am at the time.
Are trucks cheaper to insure for teenagers?
Im looking into getting my first car and i was just wondering if its cheaper to insure a truck then a car. I am 17 years old and live in alberta canada, everyone tells me that they are cheaper to insure but how much cheaper?""
Having trouble finding insurance for an older truck in ontario canada.?
Hello, just like the title says im looking to insure a 1978 GMC sierra and im finding none of the major companies offer insurance for vehicle's this old. does anyone know of a company that does with decent rates and possibly online quotes? i have a clean driving record and am in southern ontario, canada. thanks""
On homeowners insurance .. What is the difference between Replacement cost and Acutal cash Value? what pays mo
What pays more and what is the least expensive?? please some one explain to me in detail.. Does my home need to be insured with the market value???
How cheap can u get???
What is the cheapest car insurance for teenagers that u can get??? What company??? If it matters, I live in NC.""
Can I purchase life insurance for our family without a physical exam?
We have a new baby and we both need to be insured. Is it possible to purchase affordable life insurance without a physical exam?
Is it cheaper to get insurance on the same car or on a second hand car?
hi im taking driving lessons and my test is soon. I want to know if it is cheaper to get a second hand car and get insurance on that or get insurance on my brothers car. Which one is cheaper?
How can i get health insurance?
I'm no longer on my father's insurance plan which he gets from his job. I'm not working right now and I'm not in school either. I'm going to have to go to the dentist soon for a check up, to get a chipped tooth fixed and maybe to get invisaline. I also have to go to an opthomalagist because i'm considering contacts again, either contacts or prescription sunglasses. And I'm gonna have to go to the doctor at some point. I know all of that will cost a hell of a lot of money without insurance. I can't afford to pay for that. Is there a way I can pay for insurance that will cover dental, eye doctors and a regular physician without having a job with insurance benefits? How much would I be expected to pay? Is it monthly? Would there be a copay? Thanks for any help you can give me.""
What is the estimated insurance for this car?
2-Door Coupe 1989 BMW 6 Series Coupe 2D 635CS, costing $6,000 new 16 yr. old driver.15-20000 in coverage.""
Is car insurance absolutely needed for a car?
I will be purchasing my first car sometime this year. I don't know anything about insurance and I'm really not knowledgeable when it comes to things like this. So my question is, is car insurance a requirement when owning a car? Do you need it? Is it expensive and how does the process work? Cause I'll be getting my first car soon and I don't really know insurance plays a role in all of this.""
What exaclty are the purpose and definition of INSURANCE?
Why did people invent insurance, what was their reasoning behind it? And why did we make auto insurance mandatory...or the insurance for your home? Wasn' t it conceived to help in case of catastrophic events? Isn't the purpose of health inurance similar..to help pay for the catastrophic or complex diseases? How is making this mandatory different from making auto insurance mandatory?""
First traffic violation. How much will it affect my insurance?
So today I got my first traffic violation after 9 years of driving. I am 25 and have been driving since I was 16. I stopped to far in a stop sign and passed the line. How much will the ticket cost? I live in CA. How badly will this affect my auto insurance? Right now I pay $150 every 6 months for liablity coverage.
Can I sue an insurance company if?
If the insurance company is putting stress on me and with holding information from me.It was their client who hit my vehicle he was cited a ticket. for being left of center he was flying down the road in a double yellow zone traffic was stopped 2 lanes and he had to go around them in order to hit me.He has a witness and he and his so called witness are saying that I pulled out of a lot that I was never in.Lucky for me I kept my proff of purchase.and they even have me on camera with the traffic stopped.Anyway his insurance company is treating me like I am a criminal and will not tell me anything.Which in turn is really stressing me out.So can I sue if I want to .I did try to be nice but his agent really makes me angry and stresses me out.I am just wore out from dealing with her.
Do police check with your car insurance to make sure it's valid when you're pulled over?
I've always been curious as to if this would work, but in the past a few friends of mine had bought insurance, paid up to date for 6 months, canceled two weeks later, gotten most of their money back and obtained a proof of insurance that said they were paid for the next six months. They claim that if they were to get pulled over, they could continue to use this proof of insurance just as if they were actually still driving legal. Of course this could backfire on them in obvious ways if they were to actually get in an accident, but as far as getting pulled over, would this actually stop them from getting a ticket for no insurance ? Can and do the police verify with your insurance company over their computers while you are pulled over? Thanks!""
What are the advantages/disadvantages of Life Insurance?
Just in general, what are the pro's and con's of investing in Life Insurance""
Do i need ful coverage if i have GAP insurance?
I just financed a new car and i got GAP insurance. Here in California u MUST have insurance on all vehicles. Since i purchased GAP, do i NEED full coverage or will liability be ok?""
How much do you pay for your car insurance ? (UK)?
I am 19 with a VW polo 1.4 payin 140 a month
Car Insurance and driving other cars?
So I have a question - most of you will laugh at me lol. My policy says I can drive any other vehicle as long as I have the drivers permission. BUT I watched an old episode of Cops today and I thought they said that if you aren't a named driver, it's illegal.. So... My question is simple. Can I hop I to say my dad's car and drive it or do I have to be a named driver on his policy? Good grief I've managed to confuse myself even more... Much love to the brilliant person/people that wade through my confusion and clear this up for me ""
I can't afford my car insurance...?
I need transportation so I can work. But why should I have to choose between car insurance or food and medicine? Shouldn't the Government come up with a single payer plan for automotive insurance too! Its not fair that I have to pay for this out of my own pocket.
""I got into a car accident with no insurance, but it was 100% his fault.....?""
I was just wondering..... I got into a car accident that was 100% his fault. I have no insurance and he did. My car got impounded and was wondering a few things.... If the police report says its his fault, would his insurance people fix my car or get it out of impound or anything? Or am I just screwed because I had no insurance?""
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Which car insruance company have you found to be the cheapest/best?
I am looking for cheap and reliable car insurance. I want a good company who has good customer service. Had any bad experiences with some? Let me know!
Insurance Question??????
hey i am a 17 year old female and i got my g2 a few days ago. i was wondering if anyone could tell me about how much insurance would cost for me if i was added as an occasional driver on my parents' insurance -we have two cars: 2005 toyota corolla and a 2009 mazda 3 -i have had no accidents/demerit points....my driving record is clean -my parents have no accidents, etc (idk if that helps) -i completed driving school and was certified for it -i only hve my g2""
17 UK Good insurance car... Please Help...?
Hello, I am 17 and live in the UK. I am learning to drive and hope to pass my test soon. I am looking to get a car when I pass my test. I do like larger cars like SUV's and pickups and compact crossovers but that is not to say that I do not like smaller cars. The problem is the fact that insurance cost a hell of a lot, ridiculous costs. There are many cars that I like but I would like a car that does not look to bad and that has good insurance for teens. I understand that SUV's/trucks will have higher MPG and higher insurance. So far my lowest and best insurance price is for a corsa from youngmarmalade (4.5k insurance but only pay 1.5k as I get cash back on car to put to insurance). Please can you help me with advise on cars pref suv/trucks that would be good for me and good on insurance. Thanks""
Is AETNA a good health insurance to get?
my benefits package came from work, it offers medical from Aetna is that a good health insurance provider? What about Guardian Plan ppo for Dental??""
How much is the fine for no insurance in texas?
police set up a routine check up on a one way street and everything was good seat belt, DL, inspection sticker but the cop forgot to ask me for the insurance so he sent someone else to chek my insurance and thats when they got me""
Good websites to compare car insurance?
What are some good websites to compare car insurance? (For a car which I want to get btw)
So i got my estimate for my auto insurance?
And i don't know how to read most of it.... like... what does R&I mean? under Op. is there a legend i can look at?
""When changing auto insurance companies, am I bound by law to show the new policy to the old insurance company?""
Say, today is 1st Feb'09. I had an auto policy (from Farmers) that expired on 1st Jan'09. Today, I buy a new policy from a different insurance company(AAA). When I discontinue service with Farmers, am I bound to show the new insurance policy to them? Also, will I get charged for the period from 1st Jan'09 to 31st Jan'09 by Farmers?""
What will happen if I don't have health insurance?
What will happen if I don't have health insurance?
A question about car insurance?
This chick hit my car but I have a feeling I'm going to be found guilty due to a faulty witness. I'm on my boyfriends insurance will it raise his rate? Also can he just remove me and put the car in his name? I'm so upset because this whole situation is the other drivers fault!!
Insurance premium after an accident?
So I was in an accident last week. It was a minor fender bender and was my first accident in the 9 years of driving I've had. I got a ticket for careless driving from the cop and I only did a small dent in the other car's bumper. My car however took a decent amount of damage and is currently being fixed. They said it is going to cost $2050 to repair my car and $440 for the others persons but I just have to pay my $500 deductible. What I'm wondering is how much should I expect my insurance to go up from this? I currently pay around $900 a year and use progressive insurance.
Looking for Dowa Insurance?
Also looking for for a Mrs.Mary Blair of Dowa Insurance
California unemployment insurance?
Can I still receive unemployment benefits if I return to school? I know you have to be available to work full time. What if I don't tell them I'm going back to school? I know they have job training but I'd like to go to a fully accredited school. Please help. Thank you
Will women protest being forced to pay LESS for life and auto insurance than men?
No? I didn't think so.
If someone threw rocks at your car and insurance paid for it would your rates go up?
Trying to put vandalism in the insurance line of Nature > Your fault. If anybody wonders nobody threw rocks at me..
Teen driver car insurance?
i'm 18 years old, got my license officially in march. I can't really drive my parents car around because im not on their insurance plan (and they worry) what is the cheapest car insurance plan i could get possibly to be insured with my parents? not sure what they have i think its state farm. does insurance depends on the car? if it matters my dad has a 1997 mini van,plymouth. and my mom has a 2005 jeep cherokee. about how much would it cost to be insured in one of their cars?""
Question about auto insurance?
I've never had a car before so this is new for me. I don't have auto insurance yet and I'm going to check out a car today. In order to drive it home I will need auto insurance but I'm not sure if I'm getting the car yet. I already have my quotes set up and if I decide to get the car I can call and set it up right there but the policy doesn't go into effect until tomorrow. Can I still drive the car home?
Can i drive a van on a car insurance policy?
can i drive a van on a car insurance . or is up to the insurance underwriters my friend had he s van seized by the police be cos it cam up as having no insurance on the M I B database aa he wos using he s car insurance to drive the van on the highway . or is it up to the insurance company if there allow you to drive a van on a car insurance policy. that is not for the van you are using at the time ?
Will my car insurance increase due to a traffic violation?
I have 2 ticket's prior last night 2 of which were speeding and last night's is a traffic violation. 1 ticket was paid for and had to do some traffic school 2nd ticket i paid for but did not go to traffic school that's when i noticed that my insurance rates went up due to a speeding ticket. The ticket from last night was infraction of a wrongful left turn from oncoming traffic should have yield. Now i will pay for the ticket aswell as attend traffic school will my insurance rate go up?
What is the cheapest auto insurance for a 19 year old female?
I am soon going to buy a used Toyota Corolla and I live in North Carolina. I am just starting to get my driver's license and I was wondering what auto insurance is cheaper? Would it be cheaper if I was on my parents auto insurance?
What's the cheapest car insurance?
& are add-on cars cheaper than the main car?
Dont have Health insurance question?
what happens if someone is severly sick and dont have health insurance.Will the ambulance still take them to the hospital and if so will he or she be treated even though they dont have insurance..
Homeowners insurance question?
I've carried my auto and homeowners insurance with State Farm for about 15 years. I've had multiple auto claims but only one claim on my homeowners poicy. I had my roof replaced about four years ago when most houses in the area were damaged by hail. I've been very happy dealing with state farm but I'm considering a change to travelers. Travelers sent me a quote that if accurate reduces my homeowner insurance to about $900 per year as compared to the slightly lower benefits from State Farm which is costing $1200 every six months. What opinion do you have of these two companies and what do you base it on. Will Travelers drop me after the first claim and do they pay claims quickly? Please give your opinion on my making a change. Thanks.
Can I keep my parents from knowing that my insurance rate has gone up?
I recently got a ticket in Steelville, Missouri for going 15 over the speed limit. I am insured under my parents name. My insurance rate is so high that if I get one more ticket, then I will be dropped by the company. Is there anyway I can keep my parents from knowing about the ticket on insurance? Can I do anything to get rid of the fine on insurance""
As a new Driver when should I expect my insurance costs to lower?
Here is the background: I am 27 years old and I just learned to driver a little over 7 months ago. I know that as a COMPLETELY new driver my insurance costs weren't going to be the best so I was surprised when most if not all companies I went to quoted me at about 400-450 for 6 months of full coverage. I thought this was very very good because that is about what my husband pays and hes had an perfect driving record since he was 17. Well when I went in to buy my first car ( brand new and financed, so I needed full coverage based on my state laws. ) Before I left the lot I called my chosen insurance company and they activated my insurance for me. To my dismay but not complete shock they told me they would have to raise the quote because I didn't have a driving record yet. ( At this point I had only had the license about 3-4 weeks I don't quite remember ). I was told this should clear up the next time I renew. Well my premium has actually gone up fifty dollars ( instead of down 150 )! I was shocked. So, out of curiosity I got quotes from other places now and it was just as expensive if not more so. What happened? I've had no moving or parking violations, my driving record is perfect. I thought I would ask the yahoo community before I call my insurance company to point fingers.""
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
Kealia Hawaii Cheap car insurance quotes zip 96751
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-want-cheapest-liability-only-insurance-possible-my-car-jose-chavez-1/"
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Today was a pretty good day. I am really excited about going into work later. It really helped make today suck a little less. My jaw and ear are still really swollen, but Im in a much better mood. I slept pretty good too. Getting up wasnt as urgent, so I could just lay and take my time. James had woken me up to say goodbye before heading to their ESL class. But I just left myself lay here for a while.
When I did get up I got dressed and felt very cute. It was cold in here so I wore a flannel and slippers. But I was in a nice mood.
I had the crepes James left me. Did a little bit of cleaning. I worked in the studio for a while. I actually did some sewing! Very proud of myself. I also worked on a digital drawing and Im really happy with how it came out. I painted my nails and worked on some small stuff in the studio. It was a good morning.
I was surprised when James came home around 11. The ESL class doesnt take all that long so they got to come and have lunch with me. It was good to spend time with them and just chill for a while. Some plans were laid about what needed cleaning and organizing. And I got ready to go to work.
I had spent a good chunk of my studio time this morning covering cardboard in tinfoil for the kids to do some sharpie drawings on. I was pretty excited for the kids to get to try this new thing. So I use all our tinfoil and cut a bunch of flaps off cardboard boxes. And once lunch was finished I packed up my bag and headed to work.
I ran into our neighbor, Nick, outside. He said my mask and makeup were very cool. His hair was looking great. It was nice to see him! He doesnt live here all the time anymore so it was nice to see a familiar face.
I got to the Y site around 1240. Riquelle laughed at me that I was so early and I was just like. I told you I have anxiety!! I told her about the leak in our ceiling and the stress of that. But I was thankful for getting to go in late so I was still in a good mood.
And it was an alright day. There were 11 kids, which became 12 after a bit. Most of the kids were really into the tinfoil drawing. Though there was some confusion about what I meant by "cells" but after an example most of them got it. I hung them on the wall and I think they look pretty great.
We had some issues with snack. Just not enough food. But we made it work best we could. We took them upstairs to run around. One kid got hit in the head with a basket ball though and had his sunglasses broken and he was very upset. And just like, bruised. So I took him down to get an ice pack and sit quiet.
I sat with him in the class while Riquelle called home. He was alright, but I think talking to mom helped. I worked on figuring out how to make a fortune teller thing that the project of the day called for. I was not that kind of girl and never learned to make one so it was neat getting to learn today. Travis mostly lead that project but all the kids got a working fortune teller by the end so thats all that mattered.
The kids started getting picked up pretty quick after that. I ended up sitting down at the desk to call for pick ups when parents and adults came. It was nice to just get to chill by myself for a bit, and to talk to parents. Check in on some of the things the kids have been telling us about the work they have to do. Which mostly are lies or half truths. Sucks. I want to trust the kids, but I get not wanting to do work. So its hard. Were all doing our best.
Our last kid of the day's nanny brought us BBQ??How nice. She brought me mac and cheese and corn bread. I was very excited to have those. So me and Travis quickly finished cleaning and closed up for the night. And off I went.
Its nice having so much sun after work still. I walked home and found James and Mr Will working to solve the leak. It is going to be a plumber issue, and seems to be coming directly from the pipe in our closet. So while it sucks at least its not freezing or anything. Nothing is getting destroyed. Trying to stay positive.
And it was funny seeing Mr Will play with sweetP in the hallway. I had my mac and cheese and cornbread. James made us pizza and salad too. We hung out. I got to open some mystery packs. They were all cute/ugly critters. And then at 7 I stuck to my word and worked on art for about an hour.
I am working hard on my collages and its been nice having some more direction. The plan is to get some large scans of them to make prints to sell. Well see how well that works out.
James and me sat in the dungeon and had some cheese cake and played video games. And now I am going to go take a shower and get ready to get some sleep. I hope tomorrow is another nice day. For all of us.
Goodnight everyone. Take care of eachother.
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Day 20
After getting feedback from Ryan through email. I will no longer post collage photos, because i only did that to visualize and see any patterns and my every task. But i will still say how much calories and water i intake in a day, because i might decide to do the project on that one. So Calories for today was 1,760 and water, 7 cups. I still dont know what consumption to focus on, because im thinking about the overall project and how i am going to create an artwork on that. So i will write about some consumption and later choose 1 consumption to talk about. Probably when i have a week left of writing this blog post.
My first focus will be about my car and what i listen and do in the car. Since i drive everyday, im constanly comsuming what my car has to offer. Today i didnt really listen to music today, but i did listen to the radio this morning when i was driving to the bus station. I listen to this one radio station, i will probably have to go check what radio station because i dont know it from the top of my head. But i really enjoy listening to the broadcast in the morning, because there are 3 radio dj who is super funny and i like listening their stories. I also practiced my speech in my car since i had to present today!
My second focus will be about the asian dramas that i watch every night. And i will answer 1 question from ryan, just to give out more information on why i choose to watch them. And how they make me feel. Question: "do you feel closer to your heritage, your family, friends, etc.,?" when it comes to asian dramas, i have always grew up watching them with my aunt and family when i was 9 years old. I use to watch chinese dramas that was dubbed in cambodian language and now i pay monthly on this app thats called "dramafever" and "viki". I am half chinese, will to be exact im 50% cambodian, 10% vietnamese, 10% loas, and 30% chinese. But i dont know the chinese language and custom. Only the cambodian customs. So i wouldnt say that by watching these chinese shows, i am feeling closer to my heritage. I also like watching korean drama, and i started watcing it when i was 13 years old when i got into korean pop music. And Taiwanese drama, after i found a website that showed those dramas with english subtitles. Then when i first went to visit cambodia when i was 13 years old, i started watching thai dramas dubbed in cambodian. And when i visited cambodia this summer, i started to watch indian dramas because it was on tv and the voice over was in cambodian. So overall, I just like the storyline and the ancient era when it comes to any asian drama. I am not korean, thai, or indian. I was just exposed to the shows when i was in cambodia and going on the internet and youtube. Tonight im going to continue and watch the chinese drama "the kings woman".
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copy paste journal entry 4
one year later
October 20th, 2016
im jealous
when you seem fine to go to a party, when it comes across that you dont "need" me to go with you,
when i try to find you at a show but you had a fine time on your own regardless of my presence,
that people recognize you
that you make amazing music and are constantly having ideas and writing
and people want to be a part of it like taylor and ida and its a talking point and something to have in common with people
im jealous. that you are confident in your abilities at work, that youve found your creative outlet and feel the desire to work on it all the time, that you know people in this town and people know you. that youre comfortable in your humor and your tastes and how you dress and you know your way around town and know where things are and just...
you seem to have it together and i'm jealous, and taking out that jealousy on you because i'm not there, and im just scared. and i tell you all the time how i feel and... you dont really express as accutely when youre down or blue, you zen it out or just carry on with the casual day. and i'm not really on that level, not yet or maybe i'll never handle things the way you do.
but that doesnt mean its fair that i make you feel like youre never doing enough. i'm setting a christmas list of expectations because... im jealous of you and your "fine"ness. i want you to feel so fine, above fine, that youre able to scoop me up and teach me that all the shit im freaking myself out with isnt real.
but then, youre a human. and maybe you seem fine to me, but inside youve got all the same swirlings of doubt and fear. and now im adding to it by what looks to you as blowing things out of proportion. and from my side youre downplaying.
so what do we do. i wish you'd share more. i feel less lonely if i know youre going through stuff too. but... what if thats not your style? what if you dont like talking about the down stuff because it gives it more fuel in your mind? i feel like that sometimes too. like the more i talk about bad stuff... well, the more im thinking about it and feeling it and its then all i can think about. i understand why you zen things out with music or moto, and where the stress comes in when either of those things arent working out as planned.
i wanted to see you at that show because im worried we dont have a whole lot in common. but when we touch or laugh or smile at each other and bop, we lose pretenses and just enjoy the moment. very present. at least thats how it is for me, and thought for you, so when you were indifferent after the show i felt a bit shattered. i thought i was setting up a great chance to connect, but failed. and had already felt like a failure for not going to that party. for not progressing at barre. for not hearing anything about my resume. for just... not being a real Person in Austin the way youre a real Person.
I'm afraid I'm not interesting enough, not sharp enough with wit or jokes, I dont even have the prowess of cooking to impress you with now that youre doing it solo (which I'm so fucking proud of you btw but definitely kinda miss having that gold star) and I want to still cook together, to feel like its a date and not a chore.
I love that you asked me about my collages for your album cover, and that you vented to me the other day about work. I love to see you confident about moto parts, or at least confident about learning them. but then if ever a glimmer of money or time comes in, doubt soaks its way through, your voice changes into a drained man.
cant sleep in because today needs to be 8 hours to pay for the recording session, that barely 12 hours ago was a great thing! but now its a chore? fuck, man.
I dont want to be another chore. I want you to see me ... as a cleansing of the chore. or someone to work things through with. or even do literal chores with.
I've lost my train of thought intention ...
and i think back to when you talked to me about struggling with depression when you were younger
and you seem to have compartmentalized it so much. i talk about my shit all the time, how it strings together and lingers sometimes. echoes. old bruises.. that sort of thing.
but you allude to having attempted suicide before, which is huge... and to therapy, did you even tell me you went to a rehab thing? and yet like... it doesnt come up. which i respect, but... i duno. i want to know more. even your divorce, you never ever talk about it. about the past. you hardly talk about the past and thats ALL thats on my mind these days in my own world.
is it to cope?
we're such different people, I fear.
I am so very proud of my past, shit and all. I hate it but I wear it and all the emotions that come along very boldly and probably too obviously. at least until I can figure them out better.
i just lost the most reassuring presence in my life. even when it was bullshit grandiose lies, shed reassure me. "ill never be as pretty as so and so" "you hush youre the most beautiful girl in the world"
even though she and i lost our relationship over time, that way, i still wasnt ready to lose that soother. that teacher. that support.
ive always looked for reassuring people. teachers bosses, even the nod of someone flirting with me was (in my dilluded mind) reassurance i was doing something right.
so when youre confident. when YOU have plans. when YOU have vision, and I dont... I want to see myself in your voice. I want to hear you want me there. I dont assume it. I assume that youre fine either way. which in reality i know you are. but ... i can think im special til the cows come home, but im still alone. but if YOU think im special... If i matter to your day... if confident YOU sees something in ME. then i remember to see something in ME. its just the right momentum to get me out away from the devil on my shoulder telling me im worthless.
now that sounds codependent. fuck.
i just... why do i feel alone even when were together? because you sit there doing life any old way, with me or without. makes no difference. do i have to get used to that?
i guess just... i want a bold force. bolder than myself. i want a leader. someone whos strength reminds me of my own. reminds me to have fun with this life.
and a lot of the time i just feel like you need to be single.
not to be with other women, but just to be with yourself. to stretch your limbs and be a man of this world and do your projects and just... be. without another person around.
because i need you. and i dont really think you like it. when im complaining or saying you did this wrong or that not enough or why didnt you this that this that... its because i need you and ... yea. whatever you were thinking or not thinking, wasnt enough. or was wrong. in my book.
my anxiety makes things you think are irrational completely and utterly real to me. normal life things, every day things that every one goes through and deals with become gigantic make-or-break moments. i cant deny that a lot of that is due to the recent trauma of mom's addiction, various times i had the choice to call 911 and didnt... literal make or break things that i fucked up. and also with moving away from philly. leaving thigns that seemed blah, but now that im away i wonder if ive severed ties that i cant return to. if ill ever be relevant anywhere, enough so to matter, to make a difference or impact. choices that seem black and white but spill into giant oceans of grey and chess pieces scatter... so when you ask me how my day is, i cant really answer with the truth that i was so crippled by feeling like an idiot imposter that i gave up on trying to park my car at a fucking coffee shop and drove away crying thinking that the patrons outside were watching me fail in my big clunky car and laughing at me. and that i cried harder thinking about the fact that i dreaded going back to my apartment empty handed, having wasted time and effort and just... failed at trying to do ANYTHING with my day.
so i keep quiet and when something goes iffy between us, like the show last night, or like... us hanging out and you roll over and dont touch me or say anything when you go to sleep at all... i assume youre mad at me. or i act cold until you ask me whats wrong and express my insecurities in the shape of "YOU did this wrong, why didnt YOU do that, etc" when really i just...
wish things were different. i wish i was different, i wish you knew how to fit the bill i need.
and im afraid the more i say, the more i struggle with myself, the less you'll like me. that motorcycle thing, target fixation.
you see whats wrong with me, and then i TALK EVEN MORE about what i think is wrong with me... then you probably see that too. when i know youve got your own personal stuff happening and im sure i dont fit the bill you perfectly need either.
you want the carefree traveling girl you met.
well... i stopped traveling for you. im worried both dont exist simultaneously.
who knows.
i feel less mature than you. but i also think youre more stubborn than me. youre patient but in different ways. we're both conceded but in different ways.
i wonder, if given the chance, if we'd hate each other in a different dimension. a parallel world.
and in another, if we'd ever EVER even meet or notice each other.
you stood out to me, and still do, because of how you care for me. and accepted me from the start as a person and not a sexy girl or a commodity or a person to know to get ahead or any of the barbary popularity contest crap brainwashed me to believe.
i admire your drive and your shine and how you can fix things and learn things and are sweet and goofy and care about your mom and just...
i wish we'd met a different way.
i wish i hadnt been drinking.
i wish i'd seen you on stage first. or working somewhere. or out doing an activity.
i wish i'd had to try to impress you. i wish it was more of a chase to get to know you. to vie for your time.
i dont know why. i just... i think i like to rise to the occasion. i want to see who i can be when trying to impress you. because often, i impress myself. and am proud of myself. and THAT shows.
That showed when we met. i was proud of myself because i love traveling alone.
but now im here, and i feel aimless and im not proud of myself... and i dont quite know what to show you.
when we talked about Carrie... i was SO proud of myself for finding a cool theme point to talk about. it felt like college again. like i had found a point that impressed my professor. i felt smart. like i'd scored a three point shot.
i know that led to our sex being so good. at least in my mind.
i miss that fucking FIRE. and i know its something i have to find in myself. but im kindof afraid when i do... someone else will have helped me get there. and i worry that thats what i want. i want a teacher. i NEED to be stimulated. i NEED someone to notice when i dont show up to class. To feel a gap in the debate when i'm not there to chime in. to hear a difference in the choir without me.
so when youre fine. when you dont think twice about me not going to the party. or when youre not really phased when we dont link up at a show i specifically asked you to come to.
it really really bothers me. it makes me want to keep that power from you, the power i feel when i AM proud of myself.
i believe we give the best of our selves to people we feel deserve it. and i hate that this has become a tit for tat of deserving. when youre weird or lame or quiet, i dont want to have sex with you. but i know sex for you triggers a sense of connection and you treat me better and are happier to see me and be affection with me after we have sex, because that assures you i desire you and thats validating and boosts you, so youre happier and then youre nice. and then i feed off that and im nice and we're fine.
but when you suck, i dont want to sleep with you.
and often, if i dont sleep with you, you think i suck.
chicken or the egg.
we've talked about this but i think we're still chasing our tails.
i think we both have depression, i think i talk about it too much and i think you talk about it too little.
i think we both need a hobby that requires physical activity, and/or one that involves doing it together.
i thought cooking could be that, but... i duno. it'll ebb and flow.
group scenarios.
i want to matter to you.
i dont do a whole lot without you. and sometimes i fear that if i do, youre gonna feel left out. oooor that itll come back and bite me, like if i prioritize hanging out with staci or nelson or michelle and dont hang out with you or invite you, itll be crappy later on.
which is unrealistic to think about if we're gonna make this last. of COURSE were gonna have other friends.
ah, my brain just twisted down the other long term thing.
it really bothers me that you dont have the father gene.
its a huge warm fuzzy puppy when a man is good with kids. expresses posi vibes about children, even about being a teacher or a coach or paling around. its a vibe, either there or its not. and with you, i think youve clearly stated kids arent in the cards for you. and that appears to me like a literal wall of sharp, shiny obsidian black. dark like your eyes when youre angry or disappointed in me. i do not like that darkness. same way theres a dreaded tone you get in your voice sometimes. that tone, and the black eyes, i fear them because i lose you. you drift away, cut away, either back to someone i didnt know before we met, someone you were before, past life that is still there like an id, or someone thats there all along and just doesnt come out into the light often, but is there under that curly dark hair. im not sure which i fear more.
even now, so many pieces are swimming around. longing, disappointment, wishing youd be more, wishing i needed less, wishing i could see you purely without "need", worrying im not enough for you, worrying im not seeing your depression, wishing youd talk to me more, wondering if youre mad, wondering if youre sad, if youre stewing, if you want to leave me. that im too stubborn, that ive hurt you before and am now still on you about all this shit.
i havent been a good girlfriend. ive emotionally cheated and had shitty untrustworthy conversations and here i am still complaining that youre not doing it right.
which is freaky. because youre clearly an awesome motherfucker and have put up with a lot when, if the tides were turned, i probably wouldve left.
but why have i done these things. why did i cry out for attention in those ways, and STILL if i dont get the attention i need from you, i cry out to you. get on your shit about it. im not satisfied. i think my actions have made that clear.
but what do i do.
every time i hear something outside i wonder if youre here.
but why would you come here, why would you come to me if youre mad.
i wonder if youre at your place feeling in the right and thinking im in the wrong. thinking of reasons to leave me.
i know i need to be more humble and learn, and mature. but what if these instincts and urges to complain are telling us we're not right for each other.
itd suck. but what if? or what if its just that we're young and its supposed to be hard and we've gotta stick it out?
how the fuck are we supposed to know the answers to these things? im not interested in looking for another you :( no ones known me like you.
sometimes you make me feel like im not smart enough or deep enough for you. like youve accepted me but i havent accepted you.
i have a lot to learn. this needs to be picked back up upon another time.
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Arplis - News: Hollywood on the Hudson: At Home in Upstate, New York, with Amanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen
Weve been following Amanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen for years as they leapfrogged around LA. Amanda is an actress-turned-interior designer who has been on a decades-long remodeling tear. Her style is pleasingly simple, sustainable (since before it was a buzzword), and thrifty: see, for instance, Backyard Bunkhouse and11 Money-Saving Strategies from a Hollywood House Flipper. Her partner in the overhauling business is her husband: theyve lived in 25 places in their 31 years of marriage (along the way, they had four sons), and Corbinthough busy acting, writing, and running his own production companyis a Star Handyman.
After being MIA for a while, they recently resurfaced: When Finley, the youngest of our four, graduated high school and took off for NYC, Corbin and I looked at each other and agreed it was time for another adventure, she wrote.Our book, Open House, had just been released, so we decided to sell up in LA and take a book-signing drive across the country in search of our next project. They made it all the way to the Hudson Valley, where Amandas old friend Priscilla Woolworth has resettled, along with a surprising number of other LA defectors. After experiencing their familys first white Christmas, they decided to stay put.
They knew exactly what to do next: find a structure waiting to be given the Amanda/Corbin treatment. After four weeks of real estate hunting, they bought an 1880s little farmhouse in Germantown, New York, that needed everything. They camped out in a loft rental in nearby Hudson, found a local contractor, and started the demo. Weather dictates a lot here, which was an eye opener for us coming from Californiaand also learning that life has a slower pace here; love that, says Amanda. Heres what the place looks like a year later.
Photography by Amanda Westby, unless noted.
Above: Corbin and Amanda and sons at their new residence (the photo was taken by their oldest sons girlfriend and became this years holiday card). Hands-on creativity runs in the family: two sons work as art directors/production designers in LA., another is in the start-up side of tech, and the youngest is at NYU film school.
The couple bought the house from third-generation owners (who live nearby and were selling when their mother passed away). It had been pale yellow with a front door that was purple and white with a bit of turquoise thrown in, says Amanda. Its now painted a greenish-charcoal called Deep River and the door is Grand Canyon Red, both from Benjamin Moore. Upstate gentrifiers have been accused of defaulting to noirish exteriors, but Amanda defends the choice: its a classic color that draws attention to the architecture and looks great against the backdrop of all these seasons. Plus for every dark house, there are ten white farmhouses around here. Photograph by Jessica Dube.
Above: The couplehes 65, she just turned 60say they love their new surroundings and plan to stay upstate. Theyve become part of a community thats big on bartering: Amanda Westby, co-owner of Alder & Co, employs Amanda as a model in exchange for clothes (Amanda also took most of the photos shown here), and Amanda says she recently gave her doctors husband remodeling advice for medical care.
Im continually struck by the adventure of this new experience and discovering an entire life so different from palm trees, beaches, convertibles, and eternal sunshine, Corbin recently wrote on Facebook. My biggest problem, I guess, if Im allowed to go there, is that I have tons of time to think without all the distractions that Im used to.And when the snow falls, its even more quiet than the normal quiet that Im getting used to. You can hear your heartbeat, literally or perhaps thats the shoveling of snow forcing blood through my veins.
Above: The back doors and basement bulkhead are also Benjamin Moore Grand Canyon Red: I knew if I was going with dark monotone windows, I had to find a place to uplift, says Amanda.
She learned about remodeling historic houses from her father, who was an actor-turned agent and the original house flipper in the family: I grew up in southeast England, and he used to drag me around to look at properties and would ask my opinion. So the whole house buying, fixing-up, reselling thing came from my childhood. And Corbin, coincidentally, learned carpentry from his mother and uncle.
Above: The front door opens to the original staircase: as it was, the door banged into the stair, says Corbin. We fixed that and had to reproduce some of thebalusters. Above: Much of the art and furnishings have traveled with the couple from house to house. (Corbin has become a master packer and uses Pods as an economical way to move households.) Amanda bought the paintinga 1951 work by Brazilian Constructivist Lygia Clark30 years ago while filming a movie in Brazil. The zinc umbrella and cane holder is a long ago LA swap meet purchase.
Amanda tells us: Weve been at this practically since our first date, when Corbin showed me his house that he had just finished himself, and I said, I think were going to have to make some changes. It was full-blown Santa Fe-style and needed some tweaking and layeringsome soul. The English in me came out, and thats when we started blending our styles, and buying and selling things.
Above: We went down to the studs and nothing else, says Corbin of the 1,700 square foot interior. This is the equivalent of a bionic house. Explains Amanda: We replaced or added: HVAC, all plumbing, all electric, insulation, new drywall, bathrooms, and the kitchen.
Their most dramatic move was to open up the main floor and introduce oak beams throughout that are both structural (the ones shown here) and cosmetic. The floor is the original sub floors stripped and sealed with Pure Matte Finish from Vermont Natural Coatings.
Above: The vintage Franklin stove came from Hoffmans Barn in Red Hook, NY. The walls throughout are painted with lime wash from Portola in LA. Amanda had the curtains stitched from canvas drop cloths (each is a hemmed single panel).
I like a neutral balance, so drop cloths always work, she says. I usually make them into shades, but you hardly notice these curtains, and in the winter you can pull them shut to make the room feel warmer.
Above: The living space opens to a roomy dining area and kitchen. The cabinets are Ikeawith Ikeas vertical-groovedHittarp fronts in an off-white lacquer that Amanda painted herself. This isnt something they recommend, but it worked well: even the chipping looks authentic. I used a heavy Kilz primerno sandingfollowed by two coats of Benjamin Moore Chelsea Gray in a satin finish.
Amanda found the center island marble slab on Craigs List for $150 and drove two hours in a U-Haul to get it.
Above: The dining table is one of several pieces that the couple found during their first pilgrimage to the Brimfield flea market. We arrived in the rain witha list of items we needed, including maximum and minimum measurements for each piece, says Amanda.
Corbin bought the tablemaybe originally a schoolhouse piece, definitely Europeanusing money he had saved from the many years his mother tucked bills in his Christmas stocking. I finally realized I dont have to worry about never having a buck in my hand, and decided to honor my late mother with a table that we love.
Above: The counters are butcher block from Ikea and Amanda finished the cabinets with painted wood knobs she bought at Home Depot. The Kitchen Aid stove and other appliances are also from Home Depot: I go when theyre having a buy two get the third free sale. Above: The aluminum hooks in the back entry came from a favorite hardware/antiques store in La Bisbal, Spain, within driving distance of their vacation house, A Fixed-Up Farm in the South of Francethe one project they say theyll never sell.
Recognize the dog painting? We doit appeared in Remodelista: The Organized Home and our postAmanda Pays and Corbin Bernsen Air Their Dirty Laundry.
Above: The moody back room with new built-in bookshelves is the library/TV room and Corbins home office. The lime wash here proved tricky: the couples two oldest sons drove the paint across the country and it froze along the way. When they painted this room, it was streaky and lumpy in parts, says Corbin. I came back from LA with more paint and went over it. I didnt finish but realized it looked right: we like patched-together rather than perfect.
The Emmy is Corbins mothers lifetime achievement awardJeanne Cooper, the grande dame of daytime, was on The Young and The Restless for 40 years, and played Corbins mother on LA Law.
Above: Amanda notes that the cold climate has inspired her to get back into pillows and blankets draped on sofas, and even living with stuff: its about feeling cozy. She got the sofa and chair at the Hammertown Barn in nearby Pine Plains: Theyre from the summer tent sale: I was the first in line at 7 am. Above: The lime-washed powder room is two-toned, another signature touch of Amandas. The Little Bo Peep collage was a recent surprise gift: One of the original owners came by and said, My mother made this tapestry piece and Id like it to remain in the house.' Above: Amandas deskpurchased for $150 at a local auctionis set in a bay on the side of the house. Most of the windows are original and have beautiful glass that ripples, she says. I hung bird feeders right outside, so I can watch the birds as I work. Above: There are three bedrooms upstairs. The red painting, by Peter Aspell, is another fave that goes with us from house to house. Above: The master bedroom has a conceptual headboard: Amanda dragged home from a walk along the Hudson River near their house. In lieu of doors, she enclosed the closets with curtains made from a Les Indiennes print purchased at the companys Hudson, NY, shop. It a very informal little house; curtains lend a relaxed feeling and they dont take up any room. Above: Corbins guitar in a corner of the guest room.The upstairs floors are painted Benjamin Moore Wrought Iron. The reclaimed beams used throughout came from The Hudson Companyand from sellers on Craigs List. Above: The rebuilt upstairs bath has a new-old look. The tub, along with three sinks, came from Hoffmans Barn: Amanda and Corbin hauled them to a local refinisher (but left the exterior of the tub stripped). The painted floors and beams extend appear here, too: Our contractor said, you cant have wood in the bath, and we said, Yes you can,'says Amanda. Above: The houses ceramic doorknobs are original. The giant medicine cabinet next to the sink is one of the couples Brimfield finds: its an antique jelly cupboard that came with decoupaged doors: Amanda whitewashed it and then tackled our kitchen cabinets, says Corbin.
Whats next? Amanda reports that theyre looking for a larger place in the area to tackle nextwed like to have enough room for the whole family and friendsand some rescue donkeys and goats The plan is to keep this house and down the line rent it out. I want to host people in cool environments, while I go gray and grow veggies, says Amanda.
More upstate style:
Architect Visit: A Dutchess County Farmhouse Transformed
Hudson Valley Hues: At Home with an Inventive Textile Designer
Saved from Abandonment: A Historic Farmhouse Receives the Ultimate Make-Under
And for many places to stay in the area, consult to our Design Travel posts.
Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/hollywood-on-the-hudson-at-home-in-upstate-new-york-with-amanda-pays-and-corbin-bernsen
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