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sunsetsandsunshine · 2 months ago

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~ 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢?! ~

💙👻💚👻💙👻💚

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝟷: 𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷,𝟸𝟺𝟽

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙹𝚊𝚢 ⚡️💙

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙻𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍 🐉💚

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙻𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍’𝚜 𝚘𝚑-𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐…𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘’𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎?

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙰𝙽𝚃: 𝙸 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝙹𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙻𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍’𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝙳𝙴𝙵 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 <𝟹

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚃𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚢𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚢'𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕 😉

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚂𝙴𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙹𝙰𝙶𝙾 𝙵𝙸𝙲⁉️⁉️⁉️ 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙹𝙰𝙶𝙾 𝙵𝙸𝙲‼️‼️‼️˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“LLOHOHOYDIE PLEHEASE! H-HAHAVE MERCY!!” Jay cried as he writhed and wriggled underneath his little brother, laughing up a storm as the blonde squeezed his sides mercilessly.

“I’ll 'have mercy' on you once you tell me the truth, Jay Walker.” The younger glared, moving his hand to scratch alongside the other’s underarms.

The lightning ninja squawked helplessly, hugging his middles as he shook his head back and forth, “I AHAM! I SWAHAH— squeak! I SWEAR IHIHI’M TEHELLING THEHE— squeak! TRUHUTH— squeak MY GAHAHAD!!” The older whined.

Now, as you know, dear reader…today marked the official start of October.

And a couple weeks before to celebrate, Lloyd bought a bunch of candy bags for two wonderful people…

…Him and himself.

So consider the blonde’s absolute surprise when all of his candy bags…mysteriously vanished from his secret hidden pantry…

…Guess it wasn’t so secret now but still!!!

“PlahEASE!! Ihi dihihidn’t taHAHAKE yohour DUHUMB CAHahandy staHASH!!” The brunette squealed, pushing on his brother’s chest in a small attempt to get him to stop tickling him.

The smaller teen just rolled his eyes, pinching the other’s hips and in result, Jay squealed once more as he flailed his arms around, banging his feet on the ground.

The freckled face teen held his brother’s wrists, “L-LLOHOYD!!”

“Hm~?” The Green ninja hummed.

“DUHUDE PLEHAHEASE!!”

“'Please' what~?” The youngest asked smugly, “Pleeeease keep tickling you?”

“NOHOH!!” The brown haired boy yelled, “NAHAH— squeal! NOHO!! LLOHOYD COHOHOME OHAN!! NOHO F-FREEHEEAKING TEHEHEASING!!”

“I’m not teasing you.” Lloyd giggled as he scratched alongside his brother’s ribs, “I’m just asking you a question, big bro.” The blondie said as he abruptly scribbled his fingers on Jay’s stomach.

“LLOHOHOYD!!”

“Yeeeeees~?”

“CAHAN YOHOU FUHUCKING STOHOP?!”

The hazel eyed teen rolled his eyes once more as he poked the older’s lower stomach rapidly, “Not until you tell me where my candy is.”

The freckled faced teen whined through his laughter once more, shaking his head back and forth like a ball during a tenis match, “BuhUT— GAH! I-Ihi dohoHAH! IHI dunnohoh whehere IHAT IHIHIS!!”

“Suuuuuure you don’t.” The Green ninja hummed sarcastically, “And I’m the Grinch.”

“Yohou suHUHURE ahare buhuilt LIHIKE hihim— WAHAIT! WAHAIT NAHA— squeal!! NO! NONOHOH! I’M SAHARRY!” The lightning ninja cried, his eyes widening like saucers as his younger brother effortlessly held his wrists above his head and started nibbling on his neck.

Not to mention, the youngest of the ninja team had legit fangs that was further putting Jay into a giggly blob.

The brunette squealed and screamed as happy tears started to form in his eyed, “I SAHAID IHI WAHAS SOHORRY! IHIHI SAHAID IHI WAHAS SAHAHARRY!!!”

“Oh, I heard your apology…I just don’t care for it.” The Green cladded teen giggled.

“COHOME OHAN!! I-IHI’LL DOOHOO AHAHANYTHING!!”

“Tell me where my candy is.”

“FOHOR THEHEHE M-MIHILLIONTH TIHIME!! IHI DUHU— squeak! GAHASH NAHAHAAAAAA!!!” The Blue ninja howled as the other dug his thumbs into his hips as he ruthlessly nibbled his neck.

The older bucked and flailed and squawked continously, trying to make his brother loosen his grip just a little…but his attempts to stop the blondie just ended in complete and utter vain as the other continued to torture him.

I mean, in all honesty, what was happening right now was a genuine crime.

Originally before all of this nonsense happened, Jay was chilling in his room, playing Roblox Piggy (fire ass game btw) but was interrupted as his gremlin of a brother basically bolted into his room, bombarding him with questions.

That’s breaking and entering.

Then the hazel eyed freak of a teenager dragged the elder by the collar and threw him in the living room!

That’s assualt and battery.

And if the freckled faced teen continued to let the shortest of the ninja group carry on with his henious crimes…Jay would be a dead man.

And if you were unaware…dead men can’t sue.

“IHI squeal! IHI. DOHOHON’T. KNOHOHOW!!” The elder said for probably the millionth time today.

The younger just shook his head, tsking like some wannabe anime character, “Oh don’t give me that, Bluey. When I was little you used to steal my candy aaaaaaall the time.”

“HNFFAHAHACK! YOHOU squeal STIHILL AHARE LITTLE!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!” The other shouted, scribbling his nails in the crook of Jay’s neck, “Just tell me where you hid my candy and you might be spared.”

“'MIHIHIGHT'?!”

“Well, as much as I hate to admit it: your laugh is genuinley cute and funny…I can’t get enough of it~!”

“SCREHEHEHEW OHOHOHAFF!!!” The freckle faced teen hollered as he banged his heels on the carpet living room floor, his face starting to change color to a beet red, “YOHOU BRAHAHAT! STAHAP squeal THIHIS INSTANT OHOR YOU’LL BE IHIHIN A squeak WORLD OHOHOF HURT!”

“Oh really?” The blonde said, completely un-phased by the threat.

“YEHES REEHEEHEEALLY!!”

“Are you suuuure?”

“YES!”

“Positivley sure?”

“YEHEHES!!”

“Absolutely 100% sure?”

“YEHES— N-NOHOH! NOHOHO!!! IHI’M NAHAT SUHURE!” Jay cackled as Lloyd went back to squishing his sides. “But you just said yeeees~!” The youngest taunted, “C'mon~! Show me this 'world of hurt' you were referring to.”

Almost immediately, the dark blue cladded teen used his powers to lightly send electric buzzes to the kid’s sides, “G-GYAH! Hey! Hehey! No! Noho yohou— EEP! StaHAP!” The Green ninja squealed but stubbornly still continued to tickle his older brother.

He would get his candy back if it was the last thing he did…

“That’s it!” Lloyd shouted, getting up and wrapping both of Jay’s feet in a headlock with both of his arms.

The curly haired teen gulped, bracing himself as his younger brother was about to absolutely murder him…

…Which honestly would not look great on the hazel eyed teen’s crime record but who was Jay to judge?

“I-Ihihis squeak ihat squeal toohoo squeak l-lahate to sahay I’m squeak sohohorry squeal again…?”

“How’d you know~?” The blondie grinned as he ruthlessly scribbled his fingers over the other’s feet and the other in question went BALLISTIC. The lightning sparks coming from the lightning ninja’s hands were shooting anywhere and everywhere and they would be lucky if the power didn’t go out by how much sparks were flying…

“NAHAHAH OHO SQUEAK SHIHIHAT!!! SHITSHITSHIT— SQUEAL GAHAHASH NOHOHO—!!!” The brunette screamed.

“Ihi’m barely touching you—”

“SHUHUT UP!! SHUHUHUT. UHUP!!!”

“Uno reverse, big bro…you’re the one hollering and tollering like a five year old.”

“BEEHEEHECAUSE YOH—GYAHAH! OHO JEEHEEZ NO! WHYHY THEHEHEHERE?!” The elder loudly cackled as happy tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Bad spot, huh~?”

“SHUHUHUT UP— SQUEAK AHALREHEADY!!”

“Is that seriously the only remark you can come up with? 'Shut up?'” The blonde smugly said as he tickled the middle arch of Jay’s foot, “Cmon~! You can do better than that, Jay-Jay…”

“OKAHAHAY!! OKAHAHAY STAHAHAP!! STAAAAHAHAP!!!”

“I’ll stop once you show me where you hid my sweets!” The hazel eyed teen huffed, “And speaking of sweets…maybe I should go to this sweet spot over here~!” He said as he tickled underneath Jay’s toes.

“NAHAHAH SQUEAL N-NOOOOOHOHOHOH!!!”

“Should we help…?” Cole said to Kai as he munched on one of Lloyd’s bag of Skittles, leaning on the living room doorway and casually watching the youngest completely murder the Lightning ninja. “Nah. He’ll be fine.” The red cladded teen shrugged carelessly, leaning on the doorway as well.

“Besides, this is entertaining to watch…want a gummy bear?” Kai offered.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Cole grinned, taking a handful of gummy bears from the bag the other was holding and plopped them into his mouth.

💙👻💚👻💙👻💚

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚🎃𝙵𝙸𝙽🕸️˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ��𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

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hausofmamadas · 6 months ago

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Plastic Gangster | Anatoly Givenchy Romanov

(He is modern man but don’t even think about trying to play tickle fuck with him bc he is serious man too)

The Gentleman, Episode 3 - Where’s My Weed At?

∴

So, remember how I actually despised this tiny, angry little mess of a man until I’d lain eye on his alter ego. Well comrades, this is that alter ego.

And what exactly is it about this scene that turned me around so drastically? where literally like if my body were a car, my brain’s grabbing the steering wheel and pistol whipping it, full 180 in the opposite direction as fast as Tam’s pitching that McLaren around the parking lot ?

OHHHH I don't know.... could it be the over-the-top, Boris-and-Natasha, his-and-hers Russian accents? Could it be the fact that they clearly do it against Eddie's explicit instructions? that he prob recited like a drill sergeant in the car no doubt, to avoid another I-just-killed-someone-E-I-E-I-O!!!!! on the way there ORRR could it be the fact that for whatever reason the shit seems to work? bc like somehow it does work, and in a way that Eddie's strategy was super .... not, at least in terms of getting them into the building.

Idk if Mama Mercy was so put off by the accents, she just wanted to get the sale over with, or if she heard the words, "Little Leopard Lady” and/or “FUCK. money” come out of ‘Anatoly's’ mouth, and decided that only someone with more money than God would say some edge-lord shit like that out loud. Whatever it is? It fucking works. Mercy caves. Okay and she was stone-walling tf out of Eddie who's wildly capable of doing pretty much anything and everything else except this. But for Anatoly it’s red carpet, the whole PIA pain-in-the-ass VIP treatment.

And I think the reason this success is so remarkable is bc at this point, the stakes are high, and yet the bar for Freddie is so low, it might as well be the core of the earth. Like he's managed to fuck things up so consistently and with such catastrophic results, if there was a drunk, coke-sniffing, constantly-crying version of the Tasmanian devil, Fredward would be Her, okay. But this is one thing he does correctly, the first thing in the entire show (this is ep 3 of 7, for reference), the first moment when he shows a modicum of value besides being hilarious for reasons that are usually-but-not-always accidental to the scooby gang as it were.

And honestly?? it kinda makes sense that, in this case, he comes thru in a way Eddie can't. Bc what the actual fuck has Fredward Horniman been doing all his life, if not bullshitting bouncers and promoters, charming them enough so they lift up those red, velvet ropes to exclusive (read: pretentious) underground clubs, boxing matches, raves, bath houses, key parties bc no one will convince me he and Tam don't love a good key party once in a while. No one will, it just won't happen like Freddie has CONMAN written all over him, doesn't he? Not necessarily like good? con-man? okay he's no Madoff, right but good enough that he can make you think for a split second, if you really tilt your head and squint your eyes, that this person must be telling the truth.

Bc only someone telling the truth would feel comfortable acting that fucking unbelievable.

Like who would look this woman in the face and say without an ounce of irony, “listen, in my life funny little lady, if you are not safe…. You are DED” I mean the only thing missing is him dragging his finger across his neck, all miming a guillotine. FREDDIE. FREDDIE FUCKING HORNIMAN, THATS WHO.

Beautifultropicalfish Edwina makes the mistake of trying to sell a believable story, a lie grounded in too much reality, when it's clear that the clientele for Mama Mercy prob consists of like eccentric arms-dealers and kooky billionaires ppl with some really sus, really weird, uniquely terrifying ‘hobbies’ that none of us ever want to know about but that will inevitably be the subject of a true-crime doc on HBO someday. Like this woman speaks to the most mind-blowingly ridiculous men on the daily.

And is Eddie over here with his sexy professor cardigan and sexy look-im-such-a-bookworm glasses, rolling up to negotiate on behalf of some white-collar-crime, new-money, C-suite, tech exec with ‘only’ a seven-figure salary, when really he needs to be coming at this with more of that oil tycoon, crimes-against-humanity, Fuck-You-Money energy that Freddie's serving.

Eddie also just can’t seem to suppress the Narc vibes that are seeping from his pores and tbh it’s actually what makes him such a great gangster but not a great con man. Bc Mercy sniffs him out p much every time he speaks, like so👆

Now, it's unclear if Freddie enacts Operation!BorisandNatasha in response to Eddie's evident flailing or if he planned to do it the entire time but either way, you cannot tell me he's not responsible for them being able to get into the chop shop to test drive that car. Bc again, it’s not enough to just walk into this place and act like you belong there. In this case, acting like you belong has to be: giving a ruthless, machete-wielding murderer a cute nickname like “little leopard lady,” claiming that she “laaaavs” when you call her that even tho she seems less than enthused, pitching a fit about wanting something less “poof-poof,” and “more sexier,” and spitting general bars like, “don’t play tickle fuck with me, lady” BC WHO TF SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT UNLESS YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN GOD AND HEAVEN AND ALL THE COSMOS

And bc it's not entirely clear whether or not Freddie decided to do this on the fly, I feel liek it’s one of those choose-your-own adventures situations. So I, for one, choose to believe that this was a plan deployed in the face of Eddie's plan not working, and for all of his flaws, Freddie is savvy enough to know how to bullshit someone to get his foot in the door. Bc I firmly believe he can be competent juuuuuuust long enough and lbr probly only long enough to do that.

I mean cmon look at Mercy👇you know she thinks he’s a lil funny

And as if the above display of uncharacteristic competence wasn’t enough, I’m more endeared to Freddie bc of how crazy he is about his wife. And why tf wouldn’t he be when she’s clearly way too cool for him which he seems to be vaguely aware of just casual busting out these moves ripped straight from from stunt choreography of like the fucking Italian Job or something and for like exactly no???????reason????whatsoever?????

Which brings me to the next point bc can we talk for a bajillion yrs about Tamzin is out-of-fucking-nowhere an incredible stunt!driver/renaissance!woman??? and they drop that on us and move on like I'm not asking a bajillion questions like whywhenandhow’d she learn to do this????

Like???? was she once, in her early 20s, engaged to an F1 racecar driver who taught her all the Ways of the Track before he tragically died in an accident, and in her grief, sought solace in a boy named Freddie, whomst she met at a race once, and then later married??? Was she a stunt double who worked on hollywood sets, appearing in some of the most critically lauded, well-known movies, before she settled down and married an aristocrat for his money, a boy named Freddie, whomst she met once at an afterparty, and then despite his lack of wealth bc she was in way too deep at that point and made the fatal mistake of actually falling in love later married??? Is she the long, lost daughter of legendary stunt performer, daredevil himself, Evel Kneivel who taught her everything she needed to know about her birthright before shipping her off to boarding school in the UK when she was just a lass, and then grew up and was charmed by a boy named Freddie, whomst she met when her all-girl’s high school or secondary school whatever tf they call it was paired up with his all-boys high school at a cotillion, and then later married???

I NEED ANSWERS, RICHIE. COUGH UP SOME ANSWERS, MAN. OR DON'T, BUT BRING TAM BACK, WE NEED MORE TAM IN S2, IT'S OFFICIALLY A MANDATE.