#(probably not the best solution but they’re learning)

[gothamghostwhispers]

All day bb had been busy, getting things ready for ..well somthing, he wouldn't tell artem until it was time apparently, the kitchen was off limits as well but it smelled good so somthing was being made

Artems a bit confused by his behavior but the events of the day quickly distracted them and swept them away.

They went to a department store to report transphobic employees on their daughters behalf, and when they return Claire and Jonna seemed to be having an argument that Dia also seemed to be on the periphery of…, by the time Artem was able to finish the chapter on conflict resolution, deescalation techniques, and some suggestions on how to meditate a conversation, the situation had had a somewhat positive resolution already.

Which the book did suggest is a common result in the majority of sibling arguments…. Still made them feel like a bad parent that they didn’t know how to act and by the time they knew it was too late

They add notes from the research to their parenting cork board. So they can be ready next time.

They still can’t shake the feeling they’re forgetting something though…

[ @bugboi-of-gotham ]

[notafunkiller]

she chose me

Summary: Steve's hopes get crushed when he wrongly assumes you'd choose him over Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x agent!female reader

Warnings: 18+, no condom (but f is on birth control), teasing, pet names, jealousy, sergeant + sir + daddy kìnk, vibranium arm kìnk, language, degrading, praising, no mention of y/n etc.

Word Count: 6.9K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: I really hope you’ll enjoy it! This was inspired by the "She chose me." TikTok trend.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You’re all quiet, watching the back and forth between Cap and Bucky. Not even Sam intervenes.

“You didn’t-”

“This is just not gonna work, Buck.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, with an expression you like to describe as bitchy. He’s so sassy without even intending to, and you wonder how bitchier he’d be if this wasn’t his best friend talking.

“Let’s see if people agree.”

He looks around waving at you and the rest of the team while Sam just snorts, covering his mouth with his hand.

But you’re not amused because you have no idea how to handle this diplomatically.

“Whose side are you on?” Steve’s tone is deep and authoritative, making you feel a little uneasy.

You don’t know how to talk to Avengers sometimes. You are on friendly terms, even when you train. Sam always cracks jokes, Steve shares stories and gives advice, and Bucky is Bucky. Nat and Sam call him The Machine for a reason. But he’s a really good professor and an even better observer. He pays attention to every recruit and remembers what they need to work on. You find him extra intimidating because he’s also the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. No exaggeration. And it’s not in the usual clean and golden boy way you are used to, anyway. He’s been through shit and it’s showing in the way he carries himself and doesn’t talk much when it’s not needed.

But you pay attention too, and this is why you think you were chosen to lead the recruits for this mission. You are on good terms with the Avengers, and Bucky probably approved the idea of working with you because you didn’t piss him off like most do. You know he hates chit chat, you learned how to read most of his stares and to not take it personally when he makes remarks about your fighting skills. They’re not your strongest asset, but you have a flair and you come up with the best solutions under pressure. You managed to pin him down once for a few seconds, and that is probably your greatest achievement.

But in moments like this, you don’t know how to say things without upsetting one side.

“You won’t get in trouble, don’t worry,” Bucky adds confidently. You’re not surprised when four out of your six colleagues agree with Bucky. They explain quickly why, emphasizing how much faster and efficient it would be if you followed that route, but their voices are still trembling. And you get it. Telling Captain America to his face you prefer his best friend’s plan over his will always be a risk. But if he gets mad, that says more about him as a leader than about anyone else.

Sam raises his hands in the air defensively, probably enjoying this as a show, but based on the looks he shares with Bucky, it seems like he agrees with him too.

You try to find your words, knowing you’re the last one from your team to speak, but before you can even open your mouth, Steve already smiles, pointing at you with his index finger. “Look at this, though! She agrees with me… She chose me.”

His grin is cold and a little arrogant. What you don’t notice, though, is the intention Steve had when he decided to use those exact words, but Bucky does. And he clenches his jaw at the same time his vibranium hand curls into a fist; a silent response to the not-so-innocent assumption that Steve made.

After a few seconds, Bucky leans in, his gaze steady and confident. “Did she?”

There is no way you would pick Steve’s plan. You are too smart and you have too much integrity to pick his side just to kiss his ass. He raises an eyebrow at you this time, a confident smirk forming on his lips. “Did you really choose him? You really think his plan would work better, doll?”

You feel surrounded by Bucky… attacked even. Your cheeks are getting hotter, too, and you know there is nothing you can do to hide your redness. Doll… He called you that when he turned you again on your back the day you managed to pin him down. It’s something about the way he says it that makes it absolutely deadly. Your first instinct was to be offended, but you reminded yourself he is a man born in 1917. He lived his twenties in the 40s, and doll was used as slang for sweetheart.

Taking a deep breath, you tilt your head slightly, directing your response to Steve. “It’s not about choosing sides, but considering all perspectives for the best outcome. And your plan, Captain, has its strengths, but I’m inclined to agree with Sergeant Bucky.” You bite your lip. “It’s about finding the most effective strategy for the mission, not a personal preference of any kind.”

Steve’s smile falls off, but your attention shifts back to Bucky’s grin that lightens up his face.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Well, then,” Steve sighs. “Can I have a word with you in private?”

You don’t realize he’s speaking to you until he says your name.

Surprised, you jump. “Yes, of course.”

*

Steve leans back in his chair, a slight smile playing on his lips as you write down the last details. “You know, I value your insights on the mission.”

You look surprised because how can he value your opinion when this is your second mission only? He’s Captain America!

“Oh?”

“I trust your judgment, and your training is going great. If you and the team chose Bucky’s plan, then we do it.” You see his jaw clench, though, so you know it’s not easy for him to say it. Even if it’s his friend… interesting. “Maybe, when all is over, we could grab a cup of coffee and talk about other things. What do you think?”

You’re silent for a couple of seconds, trying to realize if he means it in the way you think he is. There is no way, right?

Just in case, you offer him a friendly smile, “Thanks, Cap! I value our teamwork too. Coffee sounds great after. It could be a good way for all of us to unwind as a team.”

He nods, sighing. “I’m glad you’re on board. I’m looking forward to that coffee, even if it’s with the whole team. And please, call me Steve.”

So he was flirting…

“Thank you,” you pause as you stand up. “I’m gonna talk with Sergeant Barnes so we can get things ready for tomorrow. Have a good night, Steve!”

*

You knock only three times before the door opens and a Bucky dressed in shorts and a white tank top lets you in with a smirk.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you nod as you take a step inside his bedroom. He only stays here before and after missions when he is too tired to go to his apartment, so you don’t expect to see any personal objects there except for a few clothes.

“What happened to Bucky?”

You look at him surprised, tightening your hold on the tablet you are holding.

What?

“Sir?”

Bucky closes his eyes for a second. “Earlier, during the meeting, you called me Sergeant Bucky.”

Shit!

Maybe you should start calling him Sergeant Barnes in your head as well to avoid these fucks up. You feel so embarrassed that you want to disappear. You don’t want him to think you disrespect him in any way. His rank carries a lot of weight and trauma.

You clear your throat, slightly flustered. “My apologies, Sergeant Barnes. It won’t happen again, sir.” You offer him an apologetic smile while trying very hard to maintain a professional tone.

Bucky’s smirk softens as he places his flesh hand on your shoulder. You feel your legs transforming into jelly.

“My point was, doll, there is no need to be so formal. We’re off-duty here, and titles aren’t necessary. Just call me Bucky.”

“Alright, Bucky,” you smile. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but I came to discuss the plan for tomorrow. I talked to Steve and we agreed it would be wise for you to lead the way as Mr. Wilson-”

“Steve?” Bucky interrupts before you can finish your sentence. He doesn’t even bother to look at your tablet, either.

“Yes, we talked in the office.”

“No, I get that. But you call him Steve? What happened to Cap?” Bucky knows that might sound really childish, but he can’t help it. What is Steve trying to do?

Was it some kind of test? Did you misunderstand everything with Steve?

“Oh, Cap allowed me to call him Steve earlier. I am sorry if it sounded disrespectful.”

He squeezes your shoulder even before moving his hand to your chin, raising your face, and you feel yourself blushing again.

The blue of his eyes is so intense that you can’t see how anyone would be able to survive it.

“You apologize too much, doll. I don’t like it.”

You can’t breathe. “Sor-” You pause, realizing he is right. Apologizing is second nature to you. It feels wrong when you don’t, and you do it without even thinking about it. “I guess I do that a lot. I’ll work on it, Bucky.”

“I’m not your teacher right now, doll.” He smiles, letting go of your chin. “Just remember, we’re not all about formalities here. Relax a bit.”

Easier said than done. But you need to keep it together and ignore the urge to grab his face and finally kiss him. So you focus on talking about the mission and the members of the team. You talk about all of your colleagues, and Bucky helps you take notes. He switched so easily from friendly to the sergeant mode, which is fascinating.

He explains step by step your positions, the way things are gonna happen and even two back up plans. Two!

You’re not overwhelmed by the amount of information, but you’re quite surprised by how much he talks and how well he answers every possible question any of you could have. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak for more than a few seconds continuously so you try to focus on every word.

Only when he finishes and you close your tablet after sending everyone the plan, do you see him relaxing again.

With a smirk, he asks you, “How did Steve take it?”

“He was fine with the plan, even suggested if we feel like doing it, to get one or two more members. But based on what you said, we won’t need it.”

“He has a point, of course, but if you said you don’t think you need it, good.” You try not to stare at his lips as he speaks, but it’s so hard. “And I meant how he took that you chose my plan. That you chose me.”

You meet Bucky’s gaze, trying to keep your composure, “Steve seemed more than okay with it from what I saw. He values the team’s decision. Plus, it’s not about choosing sides, and-”

“And not a personal preference of any kind,” he interrupts just to quote you, and you don’t know if you should feel flattered he remembers word by word or to prepare yourself for a negative reaction. To be honest, your head is spinning and him being so close makes it worse. “I heard you very well, but I’m curious…”

He extends his hand and carefully tucks your hair behind your ears. You swear you can hear your own heartbeat going crazy. And if you do, so does he.

“About what?”

“Would the answer be different if it was about personal preferences, doll? Would you choose him?”

You freeze. You are simply in shock because this cannot happen to you. From Steve asking you out earlier to your crush basically doing this. You’re confused and a little tired, but you didn’t imagine all of this. Does Bucky want you? Is that it?

You take a deep breath praying you won’t choke on the words. “In a hypothetical scenario based on personal preferences, Bucky, I would still not pick him.”

Your voice is trembling, but you maintain eye contact even after admitting it. You didn’t choose Bucky’s plan because of your crush, so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or exposed. He’s the one who let you call him Bucky, who touched you and asked you that. You don’t know if he counts romance as a personal preference, but there is an urge inside you to find out. You wonder how he’d taste, if he’d kiss you back if you kissed him first, how your mission would be if you crossed the line. Your thoughts are foggy.

“So you’d choose me.”

You clear your throat. “Yes.”

“Over Captain America.” His grin is so boyish and cute that it makes you smile. He looks younger and less… burdened when he gets like this. Bucky chuckles, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Well, well, well. Looks like I got someone not kissing Captain America’s ass for a change. That’s really rare. You’re a naughty one, aren’t you?”

You mask your gasp with a cough, deciding to play along, a sly grin forming on your face. “Maybe I just have a thing for underdogs.”

Bucky’s eyes light up with amusement to your annoyance but also excitement, and he leans in, taking the tablet from your hand and placing it on the floor without a care. “Underdogs, huh? Ouch, that hurt a little. I thought I was your favorite super-soldier.”

You can’t help but giggle, feeling enough encouragement from his reaction to touch his vibranium arm just to feel it. You got the chance to do it only for a couple of seconds and it always fascinated you, especially the golden pattern. The fact he can feel everything because it’s connected to his nerves is insane to you. It probably is to him too. “Oh, you are. And my favorite teacher too. But a little competition never hurts, Sergeant Barnes.”

You can see he feigns offense. “Competition, huh?” Bucky’s playfulness turns into a serious tone as he adds, “Well, let me show you why I’m the only choice.”

And without warning, he closes the distance between you and kisses you.

You gasp, taken aback, but you bring your hands to his face and hip before you deepen the kiss. He’s not as gentle as you expected, his left arm flying to your ass and bringing your hips closer to his immediately.

You moan when you feel his hard on so close to your pussy, and tug on his hair a little.

“Aren’t you a naughty girl?” He lowers his lips to your jaw. “I could basically smell how wet you got earlier as soon as I called you doll. And so did Steve.”

You want to open your eyes and tell him to stop talking about his friend. You don’t want to be turned off, but he already continues.

“He thought he stood a chance with my girl.”

“Your girl?” You whimper when his teeth graze your neck before his tongue licks on the spot. He intends to leave a mark, you have no doubt, and you absolutely love it.

“Mine.” His whisper makes you shiver. “I want to mark you. The thought of having you covered in hickeys during the mission makes me so hard it almost hurts. Gonna show everyone you belong to me.”

“Do I belong to you, Sergeant Barnes?” You take a step back but let your hand linger on his chest teasingly. “Because I don’t remember you asking me to dinner.”

Bucky grins. “Dinner is a classic move, and I adapted very well to the present. But of course I can stop with the kisses right now, and we can have some late dinner.”

You roll your eyes at his unbelievably good answer. Fucker!

“This is not what I meant, Barnes, and you know it.”

“I don’t know it. But I want to know something else.”

You don’t even doubt he means something dirty because it’s too obvious.

“Like what?”

“Like how your pretty pussy tastes while you come all over my face.”

You gasp at the no-filter words. You’re so used to Steve’s warning you to use proper language, that you did not expect it.

“I thought men your age were all about being proper and refined… Don’t they teach subtlety in the 40s etiquette class or did you skip it?”

You tease him on purpose, and he knows it. You are well aware what a nerd he was in school. Such a nerd that it was displayed in the museum. You snort. You were a nerd too, so you love it.

Bucky chuckles, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he brings his hands to your pants, unzipping them without warning. Holy. Shit. The way you love this. He reads your body language very well and he has his super soldier senses.

“Well, doll, proper and refined went out the window with the 40s, right? Because otherwise you’d not be standing here letting me undress you.”

You raise your eyebrow, a mix of surprise and amusement on your face. His energy is so light, and he looks like a man without a worry in moments like this.

“You’re the one who offered to show me what the little upgraded version of you can do, after all.” You take off your shoes before pulling down your pants as soon as he drags them to your ankles. You can’t believe you’re about to fuck James Bucky Barnes! “Why would I say no?”

“Just sit back and enjoy the ride, doll. Gonna make sure you have the time of your life.”

You snort, amused by his eagerness, and decide to take off your shirt yourself to see his reaction. And he doesn’t disappoint.

He grins like a child, his hands flying straight to your back without taking his eyes off your chest. And before you know it, your bra is on the floor and Bucky cups your breasts, bringing your left tit to his mouth.

If you gasped when you felt the cold touch of the vibranium, now you moan loudly, enjoying the way he licks around your skin. He avoids your nipple on purpose, so you decide to take matters into your own hands quite literally and get a grab of the top of his hair, forcing him to suck on your nipple.

“Fuck! I didn’t expect you to be so whorish,” you say without realizing, and you feel his snort and breath on the wet patch he left with his tongue.

Bucky’s grin turns into a sly smirk. “This is what you call whorish? I guess I’ll give you an experience you won’t ever forget.”

“Talk less, do more.”

You want to enjoy more of this. You have a mission in a few hours, and it might be just a one time thing anyway since he is Bucky Barnes. You don’t want to get your hopes high.

Bucky lets go of your breast with a pop and moves up, raising your head so he can kiss you.

It’s electrifying, and desperate, and not enough. You move your hands to the bottom hem of his tank top and lift it, interrupting the kiss so you can take it off completely. You just want to feel him, all of him.

You step back for a second, wanting to look at him properly, but you notice a change in his eyes that he, of course, tries to mask.

“Why are you nervous? You look like a fucking god! I should be nervous here.”

Bucky’s eyes flicker with vulnerability.

“I guess I’m not used to someone seeing my scars or my,” he waves toward his vibranium arm, and you frown.

“I will sound totally weird, but they all make you really cool, Serge.” You trace down a few scars when you see he is completely relaxed and continue. “Do I have to lick them all to make you believe me?”

You move your hands under his shorts before he can answer, though, finally touching his cock. You both moan at the feeling. He’s hard and thick, and the head is wet. You bring your fingers to his lips, smearing some of the precome before leaning in to suck it off.

You’re not prepared for his moan or for the way he attacks your mouth, and definitely not for him to snap your underwear using his flesh hand. Not even his vibranium one!

You moan into his mouth. He makes you feel like you’re floating and you need to fuck him right then.

“You’re not just whorish, you’re a whore!” You pause when you feel his fingers close to your entrance. “No wonder why you didn’t belong in the 40s.” Then you move, allowing him to touch you. You don’t realize what you said, and when you do, in the middle of dragging his shorts down, you curse yourself in your mind. It sounds like the most disrespectful thing ever. This man’s fate was changed by monsters who cryogenically freezing him and brainwashing him, and you are selfishly talking as if he belonged to you. “I’m sorry that was awful of-” But he interrupts you before you can get a chance to properly apologize.

“You like that, don’t you?”

A wave of shame surges through your body. Your cheeks are burning.

“I’m really sorry,” you take your hands off his shorts and look away, not even peaking at his cock. You ruined it, didn’t you? “I will just go.”

Bucky shakes his head, puffing. “For such an amazing agent, you’re not a good room reader, are you?”

Your eyes finally drop to his cock, which you’ve been trying to avoid in the last minute out of shame, but there’s no need anymore since he’s teasing you. He’s just a bit longer than average, and he’s really thick, and the veins do not make it ugly at all. You are curious how it’d feel in your hand, how much it’d twitch, how Bucky would moan.

“You aren’t a good room reader, either then, Barnes, since I’m not getting dicked down and my hair pulled, am I?”

Something snaps in him, and it’s visible in his eyes. You don’t know what to expect so you just watch him. But you can’t. He is so quick that, despite your crazy training, you don’t anticipate his move. His hand wraps around the hair from your nape and fists it hard enough for you to move along with him.

“Wanna be dicked down? Fine by me, get on your hands and knees.”

You’re surprised, of course you are, but his tone is firm and you find yourself nodding and doing what he told you. You know you can say no; there is nothing in Bucky’s energy that makes you feel unsafe or as if you have no choice.

At the same time, he lets go of your hair just so he can take off his shorts completely.

“Are you not gonna make sure I’m wet enough for you?” You ask when you see him getting closer to you again, even though you are very wet. You just want to push his buttons.

“I can smell you if I focus on it, let me remind you.” He smiles. “I know you’re soaked, and you wanna be dicked down. Or are you backing off?”

Challenging prick!

You roll your eyes. “I’m not scared of your dick.”

“Good, because he wants to be friends with you.”

You close your eyes, cringing. “God, you were this close to turning me off.” You raise your hand in the air, putting your weight on the left one as you bring your thumb and index finger close to each other to show him exactly what a thin line this was.

Bucky laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you forget it in a second.”

Your first instinct is to want to tease him about the second remark, to ask him if this is how long he can last, but you’re too horny now. And you also need rest for the mission tomorrow.

“How, uh…” You pause not knowing how to ask this properly. “Can you, uh, make babies?” You cringe at your words. “I mean, widows can’t… and I just wanted to know if we need a condom to be extra careful since you might be extra fertile because I am on the pill and I have no idea how sex with a super sold-”

Bucky’s lips press against yours suddenly, making you stop talking.

“Breathe.”

“I’m breathing,” you whisper and he cups your face.

“Not enough. We can use a condom if you want, but I’ll need to check where I can find one. Or we can go bare if you trust me… I can pull out and you are already protected, so there shouldn’t be a problem, I think.” He pauses to kiss your lips again. “But we can still use a condom anyway to be extra careful as you said.”

You frown at that, suddenly more desperate to feel him bare than ever before.

“No, I trust you. I have never done it without a condom before, and I assume you didn’t have much time to uh… have sex.”

Bucky snorts amused. “Now why do you assume that?”

“You look like you haven’t been fucked since 1945.”

The fact he doesn’t even deny it makes you feel even bolder, so you reach for his cock and place your thumb on his wet head while wrapping the rest of your hand around the length. “Are you gonna even last for a second once you’re inside me, Sergeant Barnes?” You snort when you see him trying to hold back his moan by biting his lip. It makes you feel happy. “Or do you even manage to get inside me before- ahh!” He is predictable this time as he pulls your hair, so you laugh.

“Are you familiar with this whole red, yellow, green color code?”

You gasp. “Yes, read about it, never needed it. But how do you know that?”

“I read about it, too.” His grin is so wide and beautiful that you melt again.

“Quite naughty of you, Serge. Reading dirty books. Needed some ideas?”

Bucky smirks, kissing you again and again. “Gonna need a review after I finish with you.”

“You finishing with me?” You smile. “Big words, Barnes, but no action.”

He knows you challenge him, and you don’t try to hide it. Do you have to beg for his cock for him to finally fuck you? He is edging you on purpose at this point.

You let out a whimper in anticipation when he moves behind you.

“Are you sure you’re fine with no condom?”

“Ihm, I’m not ovulating anyway,” you whisper, trying not to sound too eager. But you are. You want to get dicked down, indeed. And you wanted it for months.

His silence makes you a bit nervous, but the sounds of him dropping to his knees behind you, followed by his hand grabbing his cock and positioning it at your entrance while squeezing your hip with the metal arm.

You love the sensation of the coldness, but you love even more when he leans in to kiss your back before he pushes inside you.

It takes two tries, though, for him to be able to push halfway inside you because you kept pushing his dick out of you instantly. You managed to take him only when he brought his fingers to your clit and rubbed a bit.

You still laughed though because the sounds were too funny and his little frustrated whimpers were hilarious. The amusement turns quickly into more horniness when you feel him stretching you without even being fully inside you. You dreamed and daydreamed about it… fantasized about it, but it still wasn’t even close to how it actually feels. How full it feels. It’s like you cannot even think, your body is weak.

“Fuck,” your voice is cracking. “Deeper.”

“You’re so fucking tight,” he whispers.

“So?” You bring your hand to his ass, trying to show him you really need it deeper. “Why do you make it sound like a bad thing? Or are you trying not to come, Mr. Super Soldier?”

“You have quite a mouth on you, I think you need it-”

“You talk way too much. Are you nervous or-” It’s his turn to interrupt you with a thrust. Such a deep thrust your head is spinning. He’s not fully inside you, you realize, but he doesn’t try to, instead, he starts to fuck you, taking your breath away. His fingers leave your clit, grabbing your hips with both hands.

There is no question anymore, just fucking as you wanted.

And it feels like heaven. You try to keep your eyes open just so you look at him over your shoulder, but it’s impossible.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You groan. “No, you did, n-now fuck me harder.”

“Well, well,” he slows down and you almost wanna die. “This is not how you talk to your Sergeant, is it?”

He can’t do this!

“Fuck you!”

“What does my baby want?” His thrusts are too slow and teasing, just like his voice. “Use your words, beg for it.”

You’re not turned off, surprisingly. Not at all, on the contrary, the firm tone he uses, the words… you’re getting hornier, if that is even possible.

“I love your cock, Sergeant, so please give it to me. Fuck me harder and faster. Need you to pull my hair, and choke me, and… be rough.” You would be embarrassed if you weren’t so desperate. You know he wouldn’t make fun of you for this, so you trust him.

“Only mine.” You take a deep breath relieved when you feel his right hand wrap around your hair. “Do you hear me? Answer me.”

You nod, unable to say anything because he starts to thrust hard and fast, just like he did before he stopped. Your tits are jumping at the impact, and you have to dig your toes into the floor.

“Use your words. If you want my,” he moans. “If you want my cock and my hand wrapped around your neck, you have to use your big girl words. Tell me you’re only mine.”

You can’t hold back your tears this time. You love it so much, you can’t believe you waited so long to have him.

“Only yours.”

“No Steve.”

He lets go of your hair, wrapping his hand around your neck. No pressure, not moving it, he’s just holding it there.

“There’s n-no Steve, Sergeant. Only you. My pussy belongs to you. I o-only want to get filled by you.”

You know he’s smiling without needing to look at him.

“You love your Sergeant’s cock, don’t you?” You have no idea how he’s able to speak while thrusting so hard. He’s a fucking robot, indeed. “No one else could give you this, no matter how much they tried.”

You feel the building in your core. You’re so, so close already, so you try to place your weight on only one hand and bring the other to cover his, and before he can say something, you encourage him to choke you by pressing his fingers on the sides of your neck.

You moan so loudly you surprise even yourself. You sound like a cat.

“Please, sergeant, please, choke me.” You repeat your move and you close your eyes. “Please, daddy, I’m so c-close.”

He pauses for a second, and you don’t know why.

Before you can ask what’s wrong, he doesn’t just start to thrust inside you again, he dicks you down just the way you wanted. It’s as if he fucks the air out of your lungs every time you exhale. You’re crying and screaming at this point, so loud the whole floor must hear you. But you’re not ashamed. You feel so close you can almost taste it.

You barely hear his whimpers, but they’re there and they’re so beautiful.

You get no warning when he decides to squeeze the sides of your neck: gently at first, but then? Perfect. So perfect you come without warning, not being able to even say his name. You just scream some nonsense, your hand dropping from his to the floor so you can ground yourself properly. Your whole body is burning, and burning, and burning, coming alive for what feels like an eternity.

He doesn’t wait even for a second after you come down from your orgasm. Instead, he gets his dick out of you, grabbing you by your ass and raising you in his arms. Still weak, you barely have the strength to wrap your legs around his waist and your hands around his neck. He’s sweaty but not that hot. His metal arm is making you cool down.

“Daddy’s gonna take good care of you.” His lips find your forehead and you fight the urge to kiss his neck. You feel so small in his arms… and as if no one can hurt you.

You’re smiling like a fool when your back hits his bed, and so is he. Such a beautiful, blinding smile.

You let him spread your legs before you drag his face down so you can kiss him. You bite his lip hard until he opens his mouth, moaning when you feel him entering you again. This time, you’re relaxed so he thrusts inside you so much easier.

“Gonna make you come again around your daddy’s cock..”

His hands wrap your legs around his ass when he starts to thrust again.

“You’re quite… into it, Sergeant Barnes. So dirty!”

He gently grabs your jaw. “Tongue out.”

You do it, opening your mouth and waiting, and waiting until you finally understand what he’s about to do.

Instead of being grossed out, as you expected, you eagerly swallow the saliva that he lets drip from his mouth, which lands on your tongue.

You bat your eyes as you start to move your hips to meet his thrusts halfway, and that sends him into a frenzy.

“Fucking hell, you don’t want to sleep tonight, do you?” He asks sarcastically, but you don’t have enough air to tease him with a stamina comment. “You want me to make you scream and swallow my spit and come till we have to go to that fucking mission. Till your beloved Steve needs to come to us himself and hear us covered in come but still fucking.” You moan at the idea of your teammates finding out about this. You get awful comments anyway; at least you can get him for real and rub it in their faces. “You would like that, wouldn’t ya? Having all my undivided attention on you, not caring that my best friend is mad…” The thrusts are so deep that your head falls on the pillow instantly. You cannot keep your eyes open for even a second and you’re crying again. “Not caring my pal wanted you so badly he even tried to take you out tonight.”

“Sergeant-”

Thrust after thrust. You grab his forearm as tightly as you can so you can have something to hold onto.

“He thought he could have you, that you’d choose him. Come on, love. Come on, scream my name, let them hear. Let them all hear whose cock you cry for. Who is the one you belong to.” His balls slap against your skin so hard they tickle you. But not even that can distract you from almost reaching your orgasm. His words, his cock, his possessiveness…

“Sergeant, please. No one but you, can I… c-can I touch my clit? I’m so, so close.”

You don’t have to, though, because he is quick enough to bring his flesh hand between your bodies and rub your clit just the way you need it.

“F-fuck, coming,” you manage to warn him before the pleasure hits you. It’s so overwhelming you see white, digging your nails into his forearm.

You don’t know what you call him… daddy, Bucky or sergeant, but it doesn’t matter. You hear his praise, how you’re his good girl, and his words encouraging you to come for him.

When you can focus again, you kiss him with everything you have.

“Need you to come for me, Sergeant Barnes,” you whisper between kisses. “Need you to come inside me, need you to fill me up with your come, sir.”

He hisses loudly, his eyes being more grey than blue.

“Don’t tease me.”

“I mean it,” you make eye contact, wrapping your legs tighter around him. “Not the heat of the moment. I need your come, daddy. I’m on birth-”

He kisses you so hard your teeth end up hitting, but you don’t care. This is everything.

“Gonna come, gonna give you what you want. Gonna make you my come s-slut. Is that what you needed?”

“Yes, yes.” You’re so excited to watch him finish you don’t even realize how much you like being called his come slut until he says it again. “Come on, Sergeant, come for me.”

After you say that, it only takes him two more thrusts to finish, moaning your name.

His eyes close, and you notice how pretty his eyelashes are. And the little moles on his face… his mouth semi-open and his hair in all directions.

You want to witness this every day.

Before you can stop yourself, you lean in to kiss his nose and cheeks, letting your hips move at the same time.

“C-can’t… doesn’t stop,” he manages to groan, and you bring your hand to his nape, caressing his hair as he rides out his orgasm.

When he finally finishes, though, his head falls on top of your breasts, his mouth finding your nipple and playing with it before sucking it fully into his mouth.

“Easy, Bucky,” you moan, but he keeps going, though.

You have to pull his hair, to make him stop.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I need to uh… I’m tired.”

You’re back to your shy self. But his smile still makes you feel so relaxed.

“Got you tired, huh?” He winks, giving your breasts a kiss before pressing his lips against yours. “Fuck, I’ve never been so aroused in my entire life. Won’t even mention how happy I am.”

“Me neither,” you whisper.

“Well, we need to get used to it.”

You laugh so happily that you think your chest will explode. It’s surreal.

“You owe me that dinner after all.”

“A million dinners.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Trying to charm me?”

He pecks you one more time before getting out of you with a whimper.

“I’ve already done it.”

It’s weird to be empty like this again, but seeing your come and wetness on his pubic hair or dripping out of your pussy just to soak the sheets beneath you distracts you. You made a mess.

“We need to clean this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says distractedly as he uses his index finger to push some come back inside you. Jesus! “This is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You smile. “You’re a whore.”

“Your whore.” He slowly gets out of bed, grabbing his shorts from the floor.

“Want me to go?” You ask all of a sudden, gaining a confused look from him.

“Why would I want that? Unless you do, of course…” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to fix it a little. “But I want you to stay.”

“Saw you dressing.” You bring your knees up just to put your chin on top of them. You feel extra shy.

He smiles. “Just gonna get you some water. I don’t want you dehydrated.”

*

Bucky knew Steve was in the kitchen as soon as he went down the stairs. He smiles casually, not giving him a second look as he goes straight to the fridge. It’s not like he hasn’t seen him in shorts or shirtless before, and Bucky knows he knew exactly what happened upstairs.

“Can’t sleep?” Steve’s tone is so obvious Bucky almost laughs.

“Not sleepy yet. What about you? You’re alright, punk?”

“Yeah,” he says, taking a sip from his own glass of water; his hands tightly wrapped around the glass.

“Still mad about earlier? You know I’m right.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s all good.”

Bucky sighs dramatically. He loves Steve, he is his brother, but sometimes he is so annoying.

“Well, try to get some sleep. I suggest you wear some earplugs or something, though,” Bucky suggests casually, taking a whole bottle of water. “We wouldn’t want you too sleepy tomorrow. And the night is young.” He even winks at Steve, making him clear his throat.

“Buck…”

“Not a super soldier perk, I know, but you understand, right?” The smirk he suddenly gives Steve is almost sinister. “She chose me after all, and I gotta let her test-drive me. Have a good night!”

Even though he turns around, Bucky doesn’t miss the way Steve’s hold gets so tight that his glass almost breaks.

Bucky doesn’t regret it. He had it coming when he thought you’d choose him.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Notes - 016

Capricorn risings tend to have a lot of facial piercings or just look really good with them.

Venus in Aqua can be very aromatic with everyone until the minute they find THAT person and they do a complete 360. When they find the one they will be so faithful and romantic. People call them aloof and uninterested but they just know what they want and most won’t settle till they get that.

I’ve seen a lot of Mars in Pisces women that don’t believe in sleeping around. Most prefer to wait until they are in a relationship or married before giving that access.

Moon in Aquarius’s need to rationalize every emotion they experience and find out it’s roots when all they really need to do is cry it out. They try to find solutions to all their emotions which causes them get burn out fast. This is why it’s difficult for them to comfort others when they deal with deep emotions because they think they need to come up with a solution instead of comforting them. It’s okay to feel your emotions without making sense of them guys.

Pisces moons normally have period in their life where their mother was really distant from them or just completely absent. Ive seen a lot that their mothers could’ve picked substances over them or been in jail, or was just too immature to raise them at a certain point. A lot of Pisces moons grow up in a single mother household.

Capricorn moon/risings are normally the eldest child. And if not still took on a more responsible role in the family. Grew up around a lot of immature childish people

Sagittarius suns I feel like are way more rebellious than Aquarius’s. Sagittarius’s are so impulsive and get this big adrenaline rush from doing things they aren’t supposed to. Many rarely think about they consequences of what they’re doing which causes them to get into a lot more trouble. Especially as an adolescent.

If you have a Gemini rising people probably yelled at you as a child for talking to much or being too obnoxious

Virgo suns are either so good at communicating with others and fitting in or they are so socially anxious and awkward there’s no in between.

Venus in Libras will flirt with anybody who’s decent looking. They are not picky at all.

Neptune in the 7th house people can be very concerning in their relationships. Everytime they experience attraction it’s like they only try to see what’s good in that person even if they are absolute trash. They want love so bad but tend to just get in relationships because of that desire without actually getting to know who they are dating. This causes them to attract a lot of narcissists cuz they are willing to give out love so fast without seeing if it mutual.

Mars in the 5th house people 🤝 Rushing into relationships

Taurus risings look like forest nymphs they are so naturally beautiful

Venus conjunct mars people are so magnetic. They can have everyone’s heads turn the mintier they walk in a room. A lot of people have crushes on them.

Having a Lilith conjunct the ascendant in synastry usually shows an intense otherworldly connection that is most likely forbidden. You’ll feel like you finally found the perfect person until u figure out they are married with kids or your best friends partner. This connection is usually so strong that if one of the partners (or both) are in a relationship it can completely destroy their relationships. I’ve seen 20 year marriages end from this synastry. Known as the “home wrecker” placement.

Having your Lilith in Leo can show that you could’ve been treated as a wallflower growing up. People never really gave you much attention so you grew up thinking you weren’t meant to be loved and appreciated:( in this lifetime you are meant to break that and steal the spotlight

Having you North Node in the 7th house means that in a past life you probably were a loner or found it difficult to create bonds with others. Your opinionated personality pushed a lot of people away in a past life. In this life tho you are here to learn the art of compromise. You are here to build relationships whether it be family, friends or romantic relationships.

Pluto in the 11th house people im sorry for the amount of toxic friends you had to deal with☹️ I notice their friendships are usually really intense toward them the friends can become really jealous and possessive with them. Their friendships were closer to abusive partnerships than actual friendships. I’ve seen in some cases that their friends can act overly seductive with them as well which can be overwhelming & uncomfy. When these natives heal what attracts these folks however they can eventually gain some of the most trustworthy friends. These friends will help you climb the latter and normally have a lot of power. You can move mountains with the right group.

[feistyvirghoe]

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ ❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐘? ❞𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆

*this is not meant to stir up drama or to be messy, i was curious and in this digital age that we’re living in it’s easy for people to keep up with you by also staying hidden in the shadows, this is just uncovering the who and why this or these people have been keeping tabs on you, weird weird world we live in but it’s good to be aware instead of oblivious.*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ🩷⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like this is a person you guys have moved on from, like you’ve accepted them for who they are and whatever happened between the both of you. it’s like remembering this person has you breathing more deeply, to stay calm and not exaggerate the feelings you have towards them.

> this person is like really obsessive over you, to keep you fucking stuck and confused. like they’re still holding onto something like a grudge against you, but you’re more peaceful and zen

> this is an ex lover for you, or someone you were close with at some point. i keep saying “keeping pile” like they’re trying to fucking keep your energy attached to them, like anything they can find on you they’ll just engage and get lost in you, your business, what’s going on with you.

> this feels like a person with heavy masc energy who’s coming off as a bit arrogant, as if you’d never walk away from them. okay so they’re just giving off conceited, a bit delusional vibes, like they’re hyping themself up and putting themself on a pedestal but they’re honestly someone who floats around, like they’re onto the next and they can’t stand that you left them, basically u just walked away and said enough is enough and let them go, but THEY still want to keep that fucking rinky dinky ass chain strong and durable, but there’s nothing there for you.

> there is so much strife and chaos and just a bunch of messy shit going on in their life, they can’t escape it so i guess the only solution is to go back to the person they screwed over omg what?!

>it’s like they want you to feel like it’s your fucking fault for whatever happened.

>yall are so over it omg, i was about to wrap this shit up bc i was just getting like annoyed, like that “what the F ever” type of vibe

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> i feel like they’re keeping tabs on you because of this worry, some sort of deep regret and they’re scared, idk being haunted by thoughts of you. they’re everywhere and they seem a bit unstable tbh, they aren’t thinking clearly at all.

>another thing here is that you probably have been through the ringer with this person and you have moved gracefully, not going after them and avenging yourself by seeking revenge, you took the high road and just left this person where they are

> now that you’ve moved on, they feel as if you’re outshining them, you probably are and you don’t see it, but you’ve learned so much and gained a lot of helpful fucking information to help u grow and move on to something better and healthier for you, so now it’s like for them, you’re shoving in their face, this is giving like EXTREME DELUSIONAL ENERGY.

> see you are shining bitch! i am not sure how they know or think they know so much about you but you’ve listened to god or whoever you believe in (i persona think they’re all one but don’t quote me) but you’ve just listened to even your higher self because you know what’s best for you. they’re handing you this beautiful majestic, bright fucking stick and it’s yours, it’s all yours to take and this weirdo is disturbed by your new beginnings as if it shouldn’t be meant for you uhhhh wtf?? i mean unless you’ve done some shady shit i can understand but i don’t think so boo, this or these people are just fucking coming from a place of heavy insecurity and feelings of being inadequate. this is for you and what do they say, what is really meant for you will never pass you by.

> you’ve taken back your power, your energy, just you took back you, lol taking yourself to the fucking car wash to clean all that weird shit off of you, coming out squeaky clean ready for the brighter days ahead of you! and that’s amazing as hell, bc this is can tell was not easy and probably caused some crazy shit to happen to you as well, but you’re not a problem boo and don’t take on their projection and warped narrative of you!

> live your life to the fucking fullest and never apologize for that shit! esp no apologizing to fucking bozos who have done you wrong and then want to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the problem and that everything was your fault. shit happens for some reasons we can’t even understand and i know it frustrates me too but it’s outside of our control and we have to accept it and move on and that’s what u did, i mean im seeing it here rn boo w the 5oC reversed. you did it, so be proud of yourself because overcoming these tough ass emotional and mental challenges is fucking scary and tiring.

take care to you lovely people and embrace this new beginning okay <333 i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who you cut ties with, someone who you ended things with, im getting someone who feels heartbroken by you and left out in the cold

>could be more than one person, like a group of people, but these people are struggling right now

>these are people disturbed by your happiness, your joyful spirit wth, anyways, they’re not doing so well, like things have been taken away from them whether that may be literally or figuratively, but they’re feeling like their scorned, as if this is your fault

>this is someone who doesn’t want to grow from whatever happened, the first card i pull is always the person who’s reading this, their energy and you’re coming out as the sun, a youthful spirit, someone young and childlike, like the innocence not like acting like a child lol

>but this person could also be acting childish too, like a bit ignorant and petty. do you even know these people, there’s so much going on here

>this pile is so confusing, we have a queen of swords, a queen of wands, king of pentacles and the prince of pentacles, like who are these people??

> idk why im crying right now and in tears lmfao, like this pile is confusing me heavy and it’s really annoying me, maybe it’s like this person or these weirdos want you confused

>the energy is just really frustrating and irritating me so i’m pulling newer cards for you to get better messages.

>this person is just annoying the fuck out of me bro, but it’s someone with many fucking options, someone who can’t seem to stay committed to one thing, they’re pulled every which way and idk if it’s your irritation or their irritation i’m picking up on, someone who wants you back

>this person could be an air sign or have those placements somewhere in their chart aqua,libra, gemini

>they feel like they’re down in the dumps right now, someone who just played with you, they see you moving on and now they’re feeling some type of way about it, they’re very emotionally unstable

>they could also be a water sign, but this person is just in shambles, freaking out emotionally, missing you heavily, but they’re just so fucking unstable dude, they have a low self esteem and feel like they’re being overlooked by everyone

>nothing seems to be going their way and it’s pissing them off, maybe that’s why i was irritated, like they’re throwing temper tantrums bc that emotion that took over me was gross and i wasn’t acting like myself, someone fucking pent up over you, not to be rude but this mofo may wanna come in with some weird fucking energy/vibes

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> they’re trying to change their ways it seems, or their just being slapped in the face with the realness that comes with living life here on earth as a human.

>they want something new with you and as in new i mean love, like they’re want to come back and re-light a spark in this connection. but there is none, nothing is happening and they’re purposefully being blocked off from talking to you

>but even if they did come close to you, the whole thing seems like it may turn into like a fucking emotional meltdown, like spazzing out on you

>they’re not allowed near you bro, it’s like they want something new with you but they’re not giving up their weird party lifestyle, like always clubbing and drinking and never really taking much responsibility, it’s sad, they’re not confident within themselves and they’re just watching you shine

>watching you move on to newer paths that have been set out for you, like they’re seeing you as a temptation too, wanting u sexually, i mean you turn this person on yeah but their energy is just weird, like “look at me”

>i don’t understand why they don’t want to give up on this, like extremely fixated on you, as if it’s their job to fucking watch you, they’re a fluid person but they ain’t fucking committed

>like listen to this line “i just wanna fuck my 🥷 in piece but all of my old 🥷 still love me” from hiss by meg thee stallion, hmm, all bc u either literally moved away from them or just got your ass up and left them where they are, it’s like they’re still holding on to this thought of you taking them back, as if you’d welcome them with open arms..

>does this person just grind your damn gears because i’m extremely repulsed right now, idk why they can’t give up, it’s like you’re their last option, how insulting in my opinion

>like oh now im seeing you for who you truly are, excuse me?? as if they couldn’t appreciate you when you were there in their fucking face!! talk about a delayed reaction to you leaving their ass behind, sorry i’m so blunt yall (just fucking weird energy from this person)

> you’re coming out as an empress/emperor and honestly you just need to let go of this person, like i would recommend not engaging with this person, their intentions are creepy, ugh ew, like they’re worried about who you’re basically with right now

>like so fucking consumed and obsessed with you, why do they care so much ahhhh but then the “i don’t know why im so obsessed with you” card came out LOL!

>girl/boy/YOU…just let your spirit team take care of it, like seriously they are there and it’s not your duty to fulfill, they’ll reap what they sow, and it’s like they’re reaping it now..

>during this pile i was just so frantic and overwhelmed my goodness! please take care of yourselves and idk if they’d ever reach out and say something maybe that’s why they’re just watching u bc u intimidate them, you don’t fuck around and you’re not dumb so for them to think that they can come in and try to get one up on you is delusional.

>i do have to say this though, there was another group of people but they were all fucking confusing too, like it was a mix of good and bad yall

>someone is watching u quietly and waiting for an opportunity with you, to give u good good love but it was like taken over by jealous, envious people, like i could be wrong but that’s how it was feeling, you got many eyes on you and whatever you’re doing, cleanse yourself baby bc some of them are good and want to approach u for good reasons but then there are the weirdos, ughaahhahahah your pile is wild dude and i can go on and on about it!

>like i honestly want to do a reading for you all and ask about the people who aren’t karmic that are keeping tabs on you…like the decent kind people who are keeping tabs on you and why, like getting into it and uncovering what spirit wants to show me so i can pass it onto you.

>i hope u enjoyed or well got something interesting out of your reading, this pile felt so crazy lol, babe it’s probably how u have people over you, just going crazy like you’re living in their head rent free

>i mean yeah they’re keeping tabs on you to see what you have going on in your life, so impulsive too, like they don’t know how to control themselves..like they want to get into your secret club, they don’t want to let you go bro, like still holding on to any piece of you and of course there are pieces of you on the internet esp if you have some sort of platform where you post and what i mean by post is posting anything, just being urself on your social media accounts..

> i pulled some more to see why they want to get into your lil club and it’s literally coming off as hedonistic? to just like have fun like how yall used to, it’s sex sex sex for them, that and also what they can get from you, you’re so understanding and it’s like they miss how generous you were with them

>but u have so much of yourself to like get nothing back dude, this is all about taking from you, as if it belongs to them, i swear this person just needs to get it figured out and fucking heal and do some shadow work, like just take a look at themselves and see the ugly shit they seem to avoid my goodness!

>yall got people obsessed and squirming over you lmao! love u guys and be safe okay mwah! <333 ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> this is someone who has young feminine energy, even if they’re not biologically a female, it’s what’s coming out, basically a page, but there’s resistance here.

>this is someone who’s life is just feeling out of place, i mean karma is just doing its things, seems like this is someone who burned you. did some weird shit regarding your relationship with them.

> again an ice out feeling, they may be an aries, sag or leo, or scorpio, pisces, cancer, you or them. i feel like this person may want to contact you but they’re not sure how to go about it.

>i mean they’re feeling heartbroken, i feel like they can only watch from afar, as if they’re scared to get close to you? it’s weird, they’re lonely rn like just keeping to themselves away from people

>whatever happened between you two has them not wanting to give up, that’s a bit of why they’re lurking on you, but this is like tearing them apart inside, this break up between you two, doesn’t have to be romantic but it could.

>this is someone coming off as insecure to approach because they may not feel good enough to come back to you, you cut them off and now they’re just erratic, i don’t know if they’d actually try to contact you bc this isn’t that reading but even if they did im not sure it’ll get through to you.

>they hid some shit from you, or they’re just hiding, stalking you, i mean this is that reading, who’s keeping tabs on ya 🤣 but this is like a lil charmer, they seem to know how to get their way.

>literally a prince charming here, but mr charming is out here fucking around w weirdos, and what i mean is like the enabling of people that we surround ourselves with, it’s not a good crowd, people who like to party, idk drink, fuck around with each other, do drugs and shit, and another thing is they may also be feeling like it’s not that emotionally fulfilling.

>i mean fucking around with people who aren’t really good for you and who don’t care about you, that’d make someone who has a heart feel a bit bored with their peers.

>they could be a pisces or have cancer in their chart, or they’re also disillusioned, not seeing things clearly, making up stories, even gaslighting themselves into believing a different scenario. you could’ve been really close like they were apart of your family type of close, someone apart of your close circle, they just feel close.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> seems like they want to hold onto you because you fulfill them emotionally, like your love, your heart, your tenderness, they miss you, like they’re don’t want to see you with anyone else.

>trying to find you, figure you out but maybe you don’t even post crazily and they can’t find anything out about you..like a dead end.i feel like they’re holding onto hope that you’ll open up yourself to them again.

>this is just sad dude, you probably impacted them in a way that most people don’t, your sweet heart and how you can give so much of that love that’s within you, so effortlessly, they just miss you a lot.

>you guys probably did so many things together, like little adventures and exploring with each other, happy times with you and they’re reminiscing, i mean they can’t get over you, you’re all they can think about.

>they could be the avoidant type, not really addressing what the real issues are and brushing them off, if they hurt you and treated u badly don’t hold resentment in your heart, forgive for you not for them and if not that’s okay, do what feels best for you.

> i feel like they’re not meant to be riding along with you on this journey we call life, like whatever happened between the two of you, it’s irredeemable and it’s like they know they fucked up bad but they can’t seem to to take those heavy emotions so they just go and escape, avoiding their feelings in front of others but alone they’re in despair and just fucking depressed, heavy feelings, just melancholy…i feel like this is forcing them to take a look at what happened and address those issues but they’re holding out.

>they could be looking at old photos of you, pictures of yall together or just you alone…like that’s another way for them to hold onto you, they are also holding on to you and keeping tabs on you seeing when the right time is for them to come back in and speak to you

>they’re feeling you, like missing you sexually, they’re desiring you, lusting, obsessing over you, i mean they could even be jacking off to you, masturbating to your photos, they’re definitely angry, idk these feelings mixed together is scary, like the obsession, then the desire and then the fucking rage, ready to pop off and do some unhinged shit.

>i feel like the divine stepped in for you and pulled you away from them for a good reason, weird intentions on their side and it’s like they want to stay hidden until their timing is correct and then they’ll attack? or want to try and attach themselves to you again, please don’t fall for the bullshit and be discerning for real!!

>there’s this needy feeling to them, like they’re a big man on the outside but a baby on the inside, hiding who they really are, were they a bit iffy when it came to expressing emotions? and being vulnerable. this could go so many ways but was this like public or many people close to you knew about this, like people had to get between you two?

>know your worth and my advice is to just leave them alone if they do try to come your way again, let yourself explore the newer finer things coming into your life or just embrace where you are right now even if it sucks ass, at least you’re not near this person, they’re a karmic for ya, someone who just brought a bunch of chaos and drama but lessons too, take time to yourself to heal and not jump into anything too fast, don’t blame yourself for anything and take this lightly, i don’t wanna stir up too much for yall omg.

>thank you for reading this and taking your time to check out my pac :), hope u guys have a lovely rest of ur day <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> who ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> okay so this is weird and i really hope this resonates with someone but it seems like this is a gang of fools, yeah i said it…like a group of people you don’t even know and they’re trying to seek some sort of justice but u probably know who the ringleader is, apparently you know something about the stalking, the creeping, the fucking lurking.

>they’re hiding yes, just watching and spying on you, im not sure if you’re the one who’s completely oblivious to this but it’s like a family dynamic, maybe it’s a group of people who are like family to each other, but there’s this secretive shit going on.

>it seems like u barely know any of them, they’re strangers, and then there’s like a mother figure or someone who’s like in a group and their the “mom” friend. they could have cancer or aqua somewhere in their birth chart. or that could be you im picking up on, place it where it fits and if it doesn’t that doesn’t mean it’s not your pile boo!

>this is catching me off guard, im feeling a group of people that travel together, like all locked in w each other spying on you, this is so fucking weird. a group of people that are working together or just watching you together pissed, mad.

> i feel like they’re gathering and like mocking you, berating you together, are these people that barely know each other but they’re pulled together and clicking bc of their secret animosity towards you. they’re trying hard as fuck though, to keep this shit a secret.

>we have the “beware of anyone from the past wanting to enter back into your life” so it could be someone you were sexual with at one point and they’re feeling some type of way, or they did some dirty shit involving sexual relations..

>if they keep it up they’re gonna experience some weird ass shit coming their way, like freak accidents by trying to send the evil eye your way, seems like this is a team effort bro, like fucking gang stalking wtf, please take cleansing baths, like throw some florida water in w your soap, or sage before you jump in the shower, whatever works for you, palo santo, sage, dragons blood sage, cedar sage etc.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡> why ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡>> because they’re jealous of you and have nothing else better to do with their life. envious of your belongings because it seems like they don’t have shit for themselves, i mean with how negative this energy is, i can see why shit keeps delaying and failing, cmon dude.

>lemme break it down, they’re envious of what you have and your image, how your coming off to those around you, your beauty and maybe even how naturally alluring you are, it always sound cliche but your light you emit.

>it’s like they want to be you, they hate you so fucking much but want to be you, even your money as well, or the abundance within you, but it also feels material, like you may look “wealthy” “rich” “high maintenance” my goodness???? and this disturbs them, just a group of hateful envious mean people.

>they’re either hiding behind their screens just jealous, you must be a fucking god/goddess bc this envy is disturbing like hating someone because they’re pretty, i understand being a lil envious of other people’s features and being lighthearted about it, like awww i wish i had her nose or whatever, but you still accept yourself and your “flaws” were all different and unique.

>i personally think it’s a bit fucked up how everyone wants to look like everyone they see on social media, and we don’t even look like that, it’s all a facade, like we age, we gain we lose, we grow, we’re always fucking growing and changing dude…shit happens to us in life..just go out and walk around your town and see how uniquely beautiful we are, so many different forms of beauty, just like with flowers too, it’s boring being the same and looking the same and doing the same thing as someone else, be true to you and accept yourself for who you are, we can always change! it’s the way of life fr!

>no this is a bit deranged, it’s like a habit for them to watch you and stalk you basically, that’s what they’re doing. this may be a scorned lover but it can go a MANY WAYS hahaha..they’re like trying to make u feel insignificant by literally indirectly talking shit about you on their social media.

>this feels like one sided beef bro…i mean it may be put to a stop and if this is a fucking full on deranged stalker im sorry and please keep yourself safe and well. take the right precautions and keep your accounts private if you’re on any social media accounts. these people are so weird(you’ll notice i keep saying it but that’s what it is, fucking weird…disturbing)

>they clearly don’t like you even if they pretend to and they’re like the little minions from despicable me, just a bunch of clones, trying to get people to shit on your name and full on slander you but oh they’re behind closed doors because they’re cowards.

>i feel like you’re just making your fucking money, minding your business, doing what you gotta do and these people have the audacity to just yap and yap about you, especially if you take care of your body or do whatever you need to, to make sure you stay healthy and happy.

>it’s giving, they really really dislike you because of your self care routine, whatever methods you use to just flat out take care of yourself. this is just weird dude.

>i feel like you figured something out about this scorned love, someone who feels betrayed by you but i bet they did some weird fudged up shit and you broke the fantasy, you opened up your eyes.

>major confirmation is the “they secretly keep tabs on your every move” card, damn…just stalking you, it’s fucking weird and creepy, like keeping up with whatever you got going on eeugh

>youre effortlessly shining and beautiful, honestly even if you’re not a woman you have the the empress. divine feminine energy is just radiating off of you, a calm passionate, sexy, patient, gentle loving person bro! i feel like they really hate your fucking looks, why are people so envious and jealous nowadays.

>but they’re the same people to copy you and try and steal your shit as if they did it first fr! a bunch of damn copycats, people who aren’t comfortable with themselves, they don’t know how to be content in their own skin, but then they’re also beating others down and shit talking, a bunch of nasty ass poopoo breath yapping and spouting nonsense.

>im in so much pain right now wtf, like a punching feeling, in my gut and then my back as well, so i’m not sure if you’ve been feeling that way too but like i said above, cleanse yourself!!!! go on etsy and find a good practitioner to help you do a protection spell, even if you do or don’t know these individuals just explain what you’re feeling to them and the situation and they’ll do the rest, all you have to do is believe <3 but you’ll be okay, just don’t feed into the drama, these people have self esteem issues and i can relate but this is just beyONNND just out of hand like wtf??!

>seems like their behavior is about to be put to an end, keeping up this BS, you’ll see how shit plays out, you may hear from someone or see it for yourself but they’re not gonna be able to run away and hide what they’re fucking doing..

> please go and seek someone to help you cut these cords, like hex breaking spells/rituals, someone who’s legit and real with you. protect yourself and your energy, they have shit intentions and its deliberate. all of this is just to fuck with you and make you feel some type of way and i’m sorry pile four yall don’t deserve that shit from these weird folk. they’re adamant about hating your gifts, your spiritual gifts.

>i hope you guys remember who tf you are and stay in that damn power, know thyself fr! all parts of you, knowing they can’t fucking mess with you, knowing that they’ll get their karma and it’ll hit, it won’t miss.

>sending you guys love and support, hope u have a good rest of your day and prosper, go shine you beautiful angel!!!] ❞

thank ya thank ya thank ya, for stopping by and checking out this PAC, thank you for the support and i appreciate it in advance to lmk what ya thought by liking, reblogging and commenting, i like hearing from yall, like how it resonated lol and if it didn’t don’t be an ass man haha ass man 💀 anyways thank you again and i’m sending love to you guys, MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!! 💋

@anitalenia for the cute ass dividers <3

[multiverse-menagerie]

Perchance… could I request the bg3 companions with a Tav who has a bleeding heart? They’ll do what they need to do, kill who they need to, etc. but they still are easily tricked by just basic human kindness and often feel guilty for killing folk and whatnot. They’re ridiculously caring towards the party as well, often putting their needs above their own.

Karlach

Karlach gets it. She really does. But she’s been through (literal) Hell and has learned to be a bit more cautious

But she adores how much you love and trust people

I almost see her as someone who would go behind after you to set people straight if they conned you or anything like that

Something about it is so heartwarming ;) to Karlach, watching you take care of everyone - herself included. She wants you to look after her forever while she does the same for you

Shadowheart

almost disgusted by your altruism, in the beginning. She sees no point in it and points it out readily to you

Deep down though, even in the beginning, she likes it and almost envies you for it. She feels bad for speaking down to you especially after she’s had time by your side

Shadowheart enjoys being doted on and care for. She enjoys that you treat your friends like family and that you’re all carving out a little place for y’all

She’ll pout if you’re fussing over someone more than her, though she tries to deny it

Lae’zel

Similarly to Shadowheart, I think at first Lae’zel would find your actions unnecessary and dragging. She’s on a time crunch and knows where she needs to go, and helping all these people isn’t helping y’all

I’m not sure Lae’zel would ever truly warm up to being so willing to lend a helping hand. But I think she would appreciate and commend (and come to respect) you for being able to care so deeply for others (she’s not so certain she’s capable of that magnitude)

Forces you to take care of yourself and won’t hear shit about it; no she didn’t cook this meal just for you to ignore it bc Shadowheart needs to traumadump some more, eat you doofus

Gale

Gale finds it endearing, if a little worrisome. He’s happy to let you fawn over your camp mates but he’s draws the line at being so easily swayed by strangers

He tries to be diplomatic when he’s urging you away from suspicious individuals bc he really doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel like you need to change, he’s just trying to protect you to his best ability

Gale’s not particularly used to being doted on, but it’s almost…relieving, in a way. Refreshing?

He does work very hard to make sure you’re taken care of as well, cooking good meals and forcing coercing you to bed at a reasonable time

Wyll

heart eyes

Wyll himself sees (or wants to see) the world through rose colored glasses so he’s enamored that you do

He’s also probably one of the only ones to really understand your guilt over killing, even when necessary. He’s happy to talk you through your emotions over it and never hesitates to reassure you that you’re doing the right thing

flusters when your attention turns to him, but doubles it back in repayment to you

Astarion

Astarion seethes at first. He hates your tender-heartedness, hates how kind and soft you are, how loving you are with everyone, it’s just grinds against him

As he sorts through his trauma (and comes to appreciate your care, towards him and your friends at least) he stops whining about it…as much

He will absolutely shut someone down if they’re trying to use, manipulate, or fool you. Astarion only refrains from more…permanent silencing solutions because he knows you wouldn’t like it

He does, however, preen under your attention. True, no-strings-attached care? It takes him a long time to comfortable with it but he cherishes it

Halsin

While he certainly adores your tenderness, he tries to caution you over being too willing to blindly believe someone

Halsin is happy to comfort you through any remorse or guilt of course, but is quick to remind you that this is simply the way the world works

Watching you take care of your little band of misfits makes him melt. You care for them and then he cares for you when you come to him at the end of the day

Halsin would carry your burdens for you if he could, instead he’ll travel by your side and help you help others (while giving you looks that make you swoon let’s be real)

[dailyadventureprompts]

Homebrew Mechanic: Meaningful Research

Being careful about when you deliver information to your party is one of the most difficult challenges a dungeonmaster may face, a balancing act that we constantly have to tweak as it affects the pacing of our campaigns.

That said, unlike a novel or movie or videogame where the writers can carefully mete out exposition at just the right time, we dungeonmasters have to deal with the fact that at any time (though usually not without prompting) our players are going to want answers about what's ACTUALLY going on, and they're going to take steps to find out.

To that end I'm going to offer up a few solutions to a problem I've seen pop up time and time again, where the heroes have gone to all the trouble to get themselves into a great repository of knowledge and end up rolling what seems like endless knowledge checks to find out what they probably already know. This has been largely inspired by my own experience but may have been influenced by watching what felt like several episodes worth of the critical role gang hitting the books and getting nothing in return.

I've got a whole write up on loredumps, and the best way to dripfeed information to the party, but this post is specifically for the point where a party has gained access to a supposed repository of lore and are then left twiddling their thumbs while the dm decides how much of the metaplot they're going to parcel out.

When the party gets to the library you need to ask yourself: Is the information there to be found?

No, I don't want them to know yet: Welcome them into the library and then save everyone some time by saying that after a few days of searching it’s become obvious the answers they seek aren’t here. Most vitally, you then either need to give them a new lead on where the information might be found, or present the development of another plot thread (new or old) so they can jump on something else without losing momentum.

No, I want them to have to work for it:  your players have suddenly given you a free “insert plothook here” opportunity. Send them in whichever direction you like, so long as they have to overcome great challenge to get there. This is technically just kicking the can down the road, but you can use that time to have important plot/character beats happen.

Yes, but I don’t want to give away the whole picture just yet:  The great thing about libraries is that they’re full of books, which are written by people,  who are famously bad at keeping their facts straight. Today we live in a world of objective or at least peer reviewed information but the facts in any texts your party are going to stumble across are going to be distorted by bias. This gives you the chance to give them the awnsers they want mixed in with a bunch of red herrings and misdirections. ( See the section below for ideas)

Yes, they just need to dig for it:  This is the option to pick if you're willing to give your party information upfront while at the same time making it SEEM like they're overcoming the odds . Consider having an encounter, or using my minigame system to represent their efforts at looking for needles in the lithographic haystack. Failure at this system results in one of the previous two options ( mixed information, or the need to go elsewhere), where as success gets them the info dump they so clearly crave.

The Art of obscuring knowledge AKA Plato’s allegory of the cave, but in reverse

One of the handiest tools in learning to deliver the right information at the right time is a sort of “slow release exposition” where you wrap a fragment lore the party vitally needs to know in a coating of irrelevant information,  which forces them to conjecture on possibilities and draw their own conclusions.  Once they have two or more pieces on the same subject they can begin to compare and contrast, forming an understanding that is merely the shadow of the truth but strong enough to operate off of. 

As someone who majored in history let me share some of my favourite ways I’ve had to dig for information, in the hopes that you’ll be able to use it to function your players.

A highly personal record in the relevant information is interpreted through a personal lens to the point where they can only see the information in question 

Important information cameos in the background of an unrelated historical account

The information can only be inferred from dry as hell accounts or census information. Cross reference with accounts of major historical events to get a better picture, but everything we need to know has been flattened into datapoints useful to the bureaucracy and needs to be re-extrapolated.

The original work was lost, and we only have this work alluding to it. Bonus points if the existent work is notably parodying the original, or is an attempt to discredit it.

Part of a larger chain of correspondence, referring to something the writers both experienced first hand and so had no reason to describe in detail. 

The storage medium (scroll, tablet, arcane data crystal) is damaged in some way, leading to only bits of information being known. 

Original witnesses Didn’t have the words to describe the thing or events in question and so used references from their own environment and culture. Alternatively, they had specific words but those have been bastardized by rough translations. 

Tremendously based towards a historical figure/ideology/religion to the point that all facts in the piece are questionable.  Bonus points if its part of a treatise on an observably untrue fact IE the flatness of earth

[another-lost-mc]

haiiii <3 i hope u're doing well! if u don't mind, can i request hcs for the brothers on how they would react to a mc (i don't mind whether it's female or gender-neutral so up to u!) who's a high achiever in human world but struggle a lot and probably fail their classes in devildom? thx so much!! feel free to ignore if u don't feel like writing this <3

When High Achiever!MC Struggles at RAD Headcanons | THE DEMON BROTHERS 2.4k words | SFW | gn!Reader | Hurt/Comfort | Fluff A/N: I resonate a lot with this prompt because I struggled with perfectionism as a student. It would've been a disaster if I was suddenly dropped in the Devildom and expected to do well somehow. lol

You stare at the paper in your hands. Your professor hands back this week’s quiz stating that the class scores are excellent, for the most part. There are a few muffled giggles around you, and you stare at the failing grade circled in red and resist the urge to cry in front of your classmates.

In the human world, you were an excellent student. You studied hard, completed your homework every night, finished all your assigned readings, and always left yourself an extra day or two to proofread your written work for errors and accuracy.

In the Devildom, you still do all those things but it doesn’t matter whether it’s a quiz or an assignment - your marks are horrible. Not just horrible by your standards, either.

Some of the professors approach you quietly after class and suggest remedial classes or private tutoring to help you. Other professors, the ones who are less sympathetic to your struggles, sneer when they hand back your work like you’re a perfect example of how humans are so weak.

The walk home from RAD is a blur. The demon brothers chat animatedly around you, but you aren't paying them much attention.

“We’re gonna order takeout for dinner tonight,” Mammon grins when you walk through the front door behind him. He waves his credit card in your face. “My treat. Whatcha want from Hell’s Kitchen?”

“I’m not hungry,” you mutter when you brush past him. You move through the clump of demons in the hallway and head to your room. Your bag slips off your shoulder to the floor, and you fall face-down on your bed and finally let yourself cry.

You don’t know how long you sob into your pillow, cursing yourself for your failures and wishing you never came here, until there’s a soft knock on your door and a familiar voice calling your name.

LUCIFER

Lucifer knows about your poor grades. Your professors have spoken to him and Barbatos more than once, since they’re the ones in charge of overseeing the student exchange program at RAD. Compared to the other exchange students, your consistently below-average or failing grades are a concern.

He’s going to consider your poor marks as a reflection of their program’s efficacy and not a personal failure on your part. Solomon and the Angels score higher in classes than you, but that makes sense - they’re all more familiar with the fantastical concepts you’re learning about for the first time.

He looks over your recent tests and written work to figure out the best solution. It’s obvious that it’s the overwhelming amount of Devildom knowledge and history you’re lacking, not your technical writing skills or your ability to comprehend the stacks of textbooks on your desk.

He reminds you as gently as he can that you’re part of an experimental program, and it’s not perfect. He asks for your input because your unique perspective and experience can make the program better for future students. It’s your chance to help improve the school’s image, and Diavolo’s reputation, so that hopefully the three realms can truly have a harmonious future.

In the meantime, he tries to keep a better eye on your well-being and your academics. It’s a difficult task because his time is already split between student council responsibilities and keeping his brothers in line. He knows that his brothers cause as much mischief for you as they do for him.

He offers you the use of his private study where you won’t be disturbed if you want peace and quiet. You don’t have to ask permission, either - you can use it whether he’s there or not. He shows you his collection of records you can listen to if you’d like to play some music while you study. (He puts the dangerous cursed records away where you won’t accidentally use them.)

If there happens to be a new kettle and a porcelain tea set and tin of your favourite tea on a shelf nearby, it’s just a coincidence. You’re welcome to use them as much as you’d like, though - he insists.

MAMMON

Mammon has a hard time believing that your grades are as bad as you say they are. You’re so smart, and he knows you work so hard. You’re the one shooing him away from your room when there’s an essay or big test coming up, telling him that you need to focus. He doesn’t like it, but he understands. The worst part is, you do all that and his grades are still better than yours - and he’s not even trying!

He’s going to blame everything and everyone except you for your academic difficulties. Diavolo and Barbatos should’ve anticipated this when they designed the exchange program, the professors shouldn’t be such assholes about it, Lucifer should’ve been helping you more, his brothers should leave you alone…

(He ignores your snarky comment about how demons shouldn’t be kidnapping random humans to begin with.)

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a solution or a quick-fix to offer you. If such a thing existed, he would’ve gladly bought and paid for it by now. He knows he has a carefree approach to school, so he’s not going to pretend he’s got good advice for you.

No, Mammon is going to focus on being your friend instead. He’s going to keep those bully classmates off your back and keep you company between classes. He’s going to visit your room and make sure you take breaks and let yourself have a little bit of fun, because he doesn’t like seeing you stressed and unhappy. He’s going to remind you every way he knows how that he fuckin’ adores you no matter what your grades are.

LEVIATHAN

Leviathan isn’t surprised that you’re struggling. He thinks there’s too much homework, and he knows a lot of the content and history already. It’s no surprise that a normie human like you might be flunking out. 

Since he’s taken some of RAD’s classes online, he’s giving you his notes and study guides. There’s some online study groups he’s going to invite you to in case you'd like to talk to other students learning the same material you are.

Watching you struggle reminds him that it would be so much easier to do everything online. If you prefer to learn or connect with your classmates virtually, then he’s going to advocate for more investment in RAD’s remote learning capabilities. Wouldn’t it be fun to stay home together and do that instead?

He tries not to bother you when he knows you’re stressed about a test or a project, but he misses his Henry when you lock yourself in your room all the time. He hates that you’re so unhappy with your grades. So what if you’re not exactly a booksmart here in the Devildom? You’d ace every test if it were about things that actually mattered, like TSL or your favourite anime series.

He’s not as motivated to do well in school, but he is motivated to help you, in his own way. That usually means inviting you to his room so you can do homework together between matches of Super Smash Devils. Games are a great way to relieve stress, after all!

SATAN

Satan is aware of your poor grades, but he’s not going treat you like Lucifer does and make you go to him like some sort of supplicant begging for help. He’s going to invite himself to your room, or drag you to the library, or drag you to his room, and you’re going to succeed with him as your tutor.

He knows that a proper foundation is crucial to helping you learn about Devildom history, culture, and magic. Satan is going to look over your work and go over the basics with you after he figures out how the school’s curriculum is failing you.

Perhaps exchange students should be placed in modified introductory courses?

That might be a solution for future students but for now, he’s taking you back to basics. He guides you through the fundamentals you’re missing so that the more advanced topics actually make sense. He soothes your frazzled nerves when you struggle with remembering certain historical events. When you start to improve, he praises your correct answers so that he can finally see the radiant smile on your face, the one that he loves so much.

When you're both in desperate need of a break, he invites you to join him on his bed, or on the sofa in the library. He has a book open in his lap -a lighthearted story, something easy to follow - and reads to you. You can hear the smile in his voice as you drift off to sleep.

(Later on, when one of his brothers find both of you asleep, Satan's arms wrapped gently around you, they throw a blanket over both of you and dim the lights.)

ASMODEUS

Asmodeus is going to gather you in his arms and hold you close while he brushes away your tears and tells you how much he adores you. You’re too hard on yourself. He thinks you’re focusing too much on all the things you struggle with and not enough on the things he admires about you. 

He can see what happens when you get frustrated and depressed about your grades. You don’t smile as much anymore, the dark circles under your eyes become more prominent, your clothes fit a bit looser and it hurts him when you treat yourself badly like this. You didn’t do anything wrong and it's not your fault.

It just so happens that he loves pampering you any chance he gets, so don’t be surprised if he’s dragging you away from your desk for a mandatory R&R break in his room. You wince when his fingers dig into the knots in your back and shoulders, but he can feel the moment when you finally stop fighting and let yourself relax.

He’ll talk to you about school, but only if you bring it up first. Otherwise, he’s keeping your mind off things by talking to you about something he saw on Devilgram, or he’s asking your opinion about a new Majolish collab he’s designing.

Oh, how about a shopping spree tomorrow, just the two of you? No objections! He’ll let you choose where to go for dinner since he’s not picky. Afterwards, there’s a new boutique he wants to check out - the clothes they have are stunning, and he’s in the mood to spoil you.

BEELZEBUB

Beelzebub won’t lie and say he understands what you’re going through, because he doesn’t. Not exactly. He struggles with school sometimes, but that’s because 90% of the time he’s distracted by hunger or food, and the rest is him getting caught up in his hectic club schedule. 

You’re kind to him and so thoughtful when it comes to asking what he’s like for dinner, or if he wants some of your leftovers. He doesn’t always have the right words to say like Lucifer or Satan, and he’s not as adventurous as Mammon or Asmo, but he’s going to work hard to distract you and support you the best he can.

His biggest concern is whether you’re eating enough, and he’s not going to let you skip meals or rush from the table after a couple bites. He reminds you that being hungry and undernourished is going to make it even harder to focus. He makes a conscious effort to control himself when you're cooking - he doesn't want to stress you out even more.

He also asks you to join him when he works out. He wants to make sure you’re taking time to care for your body. He doesn't care whether you do some yoga or light stretching on a mat nearby, or if you want to listen to music while you walk on the treadmill - he watches you out of the corner of his eye while he trains. When you're both finished (or when you're done and he pretends he is too), he makes sure you both get a proper snack from the kitchen.

BELPHEGOR

Belphegor surprises everyone when he aces a test after rushing through the answers and napping for the rest of class. He doesn’t realize how it makes you feel only a few seats away from him, scribbling as fast as possible even as the professor slides the paper out from under you, and you end up with a barely passing grade to show for it.  

He’s not going to dwell on his feelings about the exchange program. What he is going to do is share his criticisms loudly, and meanly, with his oldest brother and Diavolo whenever he gets the chance. It’s their fault you’re here, stuck trying to learn thousands of years of history and culture about a place you’ve just learned exists. Of course you’re struggling - they’re asking too much of you.

He’ll offer to help you study, if that’s what you want. You don’t have to rely on Satan for that, you know. But what he considers more important, what he wants to focus on, is helping you with your disturbing lack of sleep.

You might not know this, but he knows how late you stay up at night trying to study. He knows how your mind is constantly racing with thoughts of failure and self-loathing and regret. You get up before your alarm after a restless night of tossing and turning. You sleep so badly, he can’t sleep properly either.

He’s going to start visiting you shortly before your usual bedtime, and he’s going to keep you company while he helps you put your books away. (Stop trying to argue, it’s for your own good.) He’s going to push your pajamas into your arms and nudge you towards the en-suite to change and shower and whatever else you need to do to get ready for bed.

When you come out looking cozy and a bit more relaxed and so damn cute, he’s going to ask which bed you’d prefer to sleep in - yours or his? Because he’s going to ward off the negative thoughts while you fall asleep, and he’s going to give you happier dreams. When you wake up tomorrow, you’ll understand what he already knows: none of that other stuff matters, so long as you have each other.

[browneyesandhair]

Non-Exhaustive List of Soulmate Fics: Klaroline Pt 1

Okay, I'm bored so I'm compiling my favorite soulmate fics. Here's the Klaroline edition:

Runaway by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

Caroline has been running from her soul mate since she found him standing over her father’s corpse.

Hunt You Slow by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

Discovering that the scourge of the supernatural was her soulmate would be enough to send any girl running.

At Horizon's Edge by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

Sometimes when a girl goes on a shopping trip to pick up a new pair of boots at the local, and somewhat hostile, human space station, she accidentally aids and abets a prison break instead. What happens in the black really doesn't stay in the black.

The Howling by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

Caroline's day goes from bad to worse to insane in a matter of moments.

Written On Your Skin by LaLainaJ

Summary:

It's a rather boring day, at the flower shop Caroline owns. And then The Original Hybrid walks in, and changes her life by uttering a few small words. They're words Caroline knows, words she sees on her skin, every day in the mirror. She's thought about her soulmate, who wouldn't have? But he's the last thing she ever would have expected, and the last person she should want. But she can't quite bring herself to deny their connection.

The Air We Breathe by slstmaraudersjple

Summary:

When Caroline learns that her soulmate is the thousand year old Original Hybrid, she cries, because she knows her world is ending. When Klaus learns that his soulmate is a baby vampire, he is intrigued, because he has waited his entire life for her. Soulmates AU.

Even When We're Ghosts by LaLainaJ

Summary:

He'd just been planning to collect his doppelganger, hadn't anticipated such strong resistance. Now, trapped in his wolf form, until he meets his soulmate, Klaus seeks alternative solutions. He doesn't believe in soulmates. Until Caroline Forbes crosses his path. Caroline thinks she's hallucinating (note to self, don't accept moonshine from old ladies) until her life starts getting... weird. The Mikaelsons aren't great at subtle.

the fate makes for a lousy poet. by for_darkness_shows_the_stars

Summary:

It is not unheard of. Soulmates born too far apart to ever meet. Caroline did her research thoroughly. It’s just rare. And for all that she’d known her entire life that her fated other half was dead long, long before she was even a gleam in her mother’s eye … it’s unfair. . Everyone is born with a soulmate. It just so happens that a millennium divides Caroline from hers.

I Wish I Was (I Wish I Was) by dressedupasmyself

Summary:

“I think that even if you find your soulmate, there’s some measure of choice involved. Maybe some people just make the wrong choices.” “Good,” Caroline said. “What if my soulmate is, like, the worst? I wouldn’t want to be stuck with him forever. I want some kind of choice.” “But that’s the beauty of it,” Elena sounded wistful, “Your soulmate might be awful to everyone else, but they’re the best for you.” Caroline scoffed. “Okay, whatever.”

Passing Notes in Secrecy by perfectpro

Summary:

Caroline doesn’t remember not having a soulmate. Her mom says that the drawings started when she was small, just a baby. So he’s clearly older than her. She doesn’t mind, thinks that it will probably be nice to be with someone who has a little more life experience. She thinks she's one of the lucky ones.

The Raven Hunter by LynyrdLionheart

Summary:

There is a killer hunting frat boys on campus. The Raven Hunter is a terrible name... not that Caroline has a reason to care or anything.

a part of something that’s bigger (than me) by Issay

Summary:

In the beginning she's a plaything, the mean girl brought low, made and unmade by decisions of others and Caroline never receives apologies for most of it. Elena fights for her happy ending and through all of her losses and dark despair she is never alone. Bonnie wins her freedom, powerful in her own right. Caroline is left with uncertainty and obligations. No, the story isn't kind to Caroline. So let's change the story.

oh there you are (i've been looking for you) by breakfasttako

Summary:

Caroline was born a fated one, which means two things: 1) She has a soulmate 2) She's going to die tragically young

What's a Little Ink? by Writerwithagoal

Summary:

What would you get as a tattoo if you knew it would appear on your soulmate?

Hallowed Ground by KiryTheStitchWitch

Summary:

Caroline's trip to Ireland was not going the way it was supposed to. She was expecting stories and myths, and instead finds that some legends are a lot more real than she could have imagined. And hot. Really hot.

Inadvisable by MissNMikaelsonSummary:Everyone has soul words. The first thing your soulmate will ever say etched somewhere on your body. Caroline always dreaded meeting hers. She had never imagined this though; she had never imagined him. He had all but given up. Just a one shot for one of my favorite pairings.

Midnattsol by BelleMorte180

Summary:

The man laying before her was her soulmate, someone who should have died a thousand years ago. Written for AU-Season week three

Ship of Bones by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

When humanity struggles to maintain its racial identity in the cold reaches of space, Caroline Forbes has hidden the gifts her alien mother left her. But secrets aren't secrets forever.

Familiar Taste of Poison by Cupcakemolotov

Summary:

A great love isn't always a blessing.

Holding Out for a Hero by slstmaraudersjple

Summary:

Klaus would totally be able to focus on his plans for world domination… if only his soulmate would stop singing that thrice-damned song. But then there's silence, and Klaus grows worried. Soulmate AU where songs that one’s soulmate sings gets stuck in one’s head. CW/TW: descriptions of Caroline being abused by Damon but nothing graphic/explicit.

[rotworld]

20: Instinct

art by @exorbitantsqueakingnoises

you're the primary caretaker of a lorleian child who was raised in captivity. to help her learn how to survive in the wild, you've had to enlist the help of an adult lorleian with extremely territorial streak.

->original work. explicit; contains dub-con, mentions of child neglect/abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, murder, breeding kink and dirty talk, tentacles, terato, mentions of hard vore/cannibalism.

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It’s a two hour drive from the Marine Life Rescue Center to the particular stretch of beach where Awimi has her rewilding lessons. The journey requires preparation: a custom child’s car seat, upholstered with soft absorbent padding that maintains moisture. A barrel of saltwater solution with an attached spritzing nozzle that dispenses in five-minute intervals. An array of increasingly complex plastic puzzle boxes, central chambers stuffed with shrimp and minnows. The van smells like a fish market but you only notice for the first ten minutes. You take a snaking coastal highway, the windows rolled down to let in the sea breeze, the scent of brine and the squawks of gulls. 

“I’m hungry,” she complains. You can hear the squeal and creak of plastic coming from the backseat, and the sounds of her suckers popping off of things.

“You’re going to eat so many fish in just a little bit,” you assure her.

“Want fish now.” 

“There’s fish in your box.” 

“Want better fish,” she insists. One of her tentacles scoots down the side of your seat, playing with your seatbelt. “Fish that move.” 

“Soon,” you promise. “I bet Ishi’s saving all the best ones for you.” 

She pouts. “He better.”

You glance at the mirror frequently to make sure she hasn’t unbuckled her seatbelt and started sliding around. So far so good. She’s hard at work on one of the puzzle boxes, her enormous eyes and squiggling pupils trained intently on a stubborn sliding mechanism that she keeps prodding and picking at. It’s no wonder she’s so hungry with how big she’s gotten. Her tentacles used to dangle off the edge of the car seat without touching the floor and her hair-like head tendrils were just short, wiggling nubs. 

Malnutrition and time spent in a cramped enclosure have impacted her growth and she’ll probably never be as large as an average adult of her subspecies, but she might get to be your size, at least. You’d worry a lot more if you weren’t certain she won’t be facing the open ocean alone.

“What are you most excited about today?” you ask her.

“The reef!” she says. Bored of the puzzle box, she passes it from her hands to her tentacles. They keep working on it even as her attention wanders to the rolling waves outside. “It’s pretty! And the water is good! And there’s lots of fish, and shells. Ishi is really good at shells. They should be easy to open but they’re not. You have to be really strong. Ishi is the strongest.” 

“He is,” you agree. “But I bet you’ll grow up to be really strong, too. You’re already stronger than me.”

“Really?” She sounds suspicious.

“Yep. You remember that sardine jar I gave you last night?” 

“Tasty,” she says.

“I’m not supposed to give you the whole jar,” you admit. “But I couldn’t get it open.” 

Awimi grins. Her teeth are like rows of spikes. 

There’s always a moment of tense, solemn silence when you pass beneath a rocky cliff with a view of the water. There’s an exit lane snaking up a steep hill to a sprawling, empty parking lot. The words “SEA SAFARI” are no longer mounted atop the decrepit ticket gates but their ghost remains in faded paint stains. You only saw the place once, and only in the midst of it being gutted and drained following a series of ruinous lawsuits. Awimi had crammed herself into the corner of a completely bare and featureless enclosure. She was clearly sick, her tentacles pale pink like raw clam when they should’ve been maroon speckled with white spots. Her chromatophors sparkled a warning when you waded in. She bit your hand when you offered her food and wrapped her tentacles all around your arm, suckers pulling harshly at your skin. 

When you didn’t do anything—didn’t move, didn’t yell, didn’t try to hit her—she blinked her large eyes, banded like colorful marbles, and her suckers loosened. She was so small and weighed so little that you could lift her up and carry her in your arms, her tentacles winding around you like the straps of a harness. The Rescue Center had brought a tank to transport her but she wouldn’t get in. You spent the entire ride back with her clinging to your chest, misting her with a spray bottle while she tried to camouflage herself with the colors of your shirt.

“No more bad place,” Awimi says quietly.

“No more,” you promise her. The property’s already been sold as part of Sea Safari’s liquidation. They’re going to build a new shopping center aimed at summer tourists. “No one is allowed to catch you and put you in a little tank anymore.” 

“What if they try?” she asks.

“Then we’ll stop them. So will Ishi. You know how strong he is.” More accurately, he’d kill them. He’d do it for a lot less. “Almost there,” you say. Awimi flicks her tentacles impatiently. You hear the snap of the puzzle box opening and then the crunch of shrimp. 

Your destination is a shingle beach. Rocky, far from anything and bearing a horrific reputation of drownings and disappearances, it’s a quiet place that’s made for the perfect meeting spot. You park at the top of a steep, dirt hill and strip down to your wetsuit. Awimi is out of the van the moment you open her door, flinging off her seatbelt and oozing out in a flurry of excited movement. She’s a bit floppy on land but she’s perfectly capable of getting where she needs to go. She’s snuck out of her enclosures at the Rescue Center more times than you can count to grab a midnight snack from the freezer down the hall, the only evidence of her brief adventure a trail of puddles on the floor.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” she says, suckers pulling at your ankle. You check your scuba gear one more time before you follow her down the bumpy slope. “Ishi’s here! Ishi!” 

That’s unusual, you think. Usually he waits at the cove. When you look down the beach where seafoam trickles over the rocks, your stomach clenches in fear and revulsion.

There, at the very edge of the water, you see an enormous creature perched on the rocks. It’s an adult lorleian, the same subspecies as Awimi. His head tendrils are fully grown into gelatinous strands, smoothed back from his face and plastered flat to his back and shoulders like wet locks of hair. The webbing between his fingers is thicker than Awimi’s and not quite as transparent, and his torso is covered in old scars—everything from shark bites and serrated squid tentacle scrapes to knife wounds. He’s much larger than either of you, his lower half a mass of squirming, enormous tentacles, each one long, thick, and wrapped around a man in a waterproof coat who flails like he’s fighting for his life.

“Wait here for just a second,” you tell her.

“Why?” Awimi says. 

“I have to ask Ishi a grown-up question. It won’t take long, I promise.” She pouts until you grab a puzzle box from the van, and then you rush down the beach. You hear awful gurgling sounds the closer you get, muffled screams and groans of pain. The man is almost entirely engulfed in the slithering grasp of unyielding tentacles. He thrashes and wails, limbs trapped, the full weight of a lorleian pinning him face-down in the shallow water rushing over the rocks. 

“Ishyr,” you say, your voice firm. 

The lorleian looks up and a shiver runs down your spine at the predatory coldness in his gaze. Like Awimi, his eyes are large with swirls and speckles of fantastic color. His pupils are long and narrow like a leering glare, constricted in the harshness of surface sunlight. “Yes?” he says, sounding bored. 

“Stop.”

“Mm. No.” He holds your gaze while his tentacles squeeze tighter. One of the man’s arms is wrenched behind his back at an unnatural angle and then yanked out of the socket. You hear him try to scream, shoulders trembling and heaving. “He brought a crab trap. To steal my crabs. Isn’t that illegal?” 

“Yes, but you can’t—”

“Then stop me.” Ishyr hunches over his prey possessively, leering at you. “Go on,” he says. “Try it. Come a little closer.” You don’t think he’d kill you in front of Awimi but you’re not certain. There’s no safe approach. His reach is long enough in every direction to catch you before you’re close enough to do anything. He watches your frown deepen with faint amusement and makes a rumbling sound, a grating purr that sets your teeth on edge. “Mhm. That’s what I thought.” Ishyr doesn’t dislocate the other arm. He wraps a tentacle all the way down, shoulder to wrist, and squeezes. You hear a series of sharp crunches as bones snap and shatter beneath ripping skin, blood darkening the man’s sleeve.

You move in sheer desperation, lunging at Ishyr. You don’t even get within arm’s reach before he has you encircled, two tentacles wrapped around your body with a threatening, bruising grip. He drags you closer until you’re ankle deep in the rising tide, seafoam tickling your ankles. 

“That wasn’t smart,” he says. “You could die. I could strangle you. Snap your neck. Hold you under until you drown. That’s always fun. I could even do this.” His claws seize the man by the hair, dragging his head out of the water so you can see his bulging, terrified eyes and the tentacle threatening to break his jaw. You can see it bulging beneath the skin of his throat as it undulates and slithers deeper but you know he’s keeping it tightly compacted. The same way you might clench your first, Awimi and Ishyr can flex their muscles and alter the thickness of their tentacles. Useful for dragging prey out of tight spaces. “I can reach all kinds of things like this,” Ishyr murmurs. “Things you really don’t want me to reach.” 

“Don’t,” you beg him. “Ishyr—”

He never looks away from your horrified gaze as he unclenches his muscles. The tentacle instantly expands to its full girth and you hear several things crack and pop inside the man’s body. Blood trickles from the ripped skin at the corner of his mouth. His eyes roll back in his head and you desperately hope he’s unconscious. Ishyr lets his head drop back into the slick stones gracelessly and something else crunches unpleasantly. He smirks at you. “Today’s lesson is how to open shells. Isn’t it?” A tentacle wraps around the man’s neck and twists sharply.

Your stomach churns. Ishyr lets you go and you stumble away from him, nearly losing your footing. He calls out to Awimi in Enteroctal Lorleian, a language of melodic trills and chirps that’s almost ear-piercing on the surface without water to muffle it. Awimi slowly scoots down the beach, glancing between the two of you. “Do you have to do that in front of her?” you whisper. 

“Does she look upset to you?” he asks. 

She doesn’t. Nervous, yes, the way she always does when you argue, but her eyes fall to the dead man as Ishyr snags the back of his shirt with a tentacle and starts to drag him into the water. She doesn’t look afraid, or disgusted, or even confused. She looks hungry. That’s the look she gives her puzzle boxes when she can smell fresh fish inside. Her suckers lap at the blood on the rocks. It doesn’t matter that it’s human. It’s flesh, and Ishyr killed it, so it must be meant for eating.

“Can I try?” she asks shyly.

You pointedly ignore the smug look Ishyr gives you. “Yes,” he answers in Lorleian. “But you have to open it yourself. I’ll show you.” 

It’s an uncomfortably long swim to Ishyr’s cove, but only for you. Awimi blossoms once she’s in the water. She unfurls her tentacles in a big, shivering stretch and then she spins and flits around with bubbles jetting behind her. You can’t hear what she says to Ishyr or what he says back. Everything is muffled to your ears, Lorleian sounding like musical warbles and grunts. But she’s smiling, laughing with high-pitched tinkling sounds like dolphin squeals, her tentacles grabbing playfully at his, and Ishyr is so gentle with her. His tentacles make little grasping curls where they touch her skin, rubbing with featherlight gentleness the same way their subspecies strokes their soft, vulnerable eggs. 

In the waving green stalks of a kelp forest, Ishyr suddenly comes to a stop, lower body flared defensively. He passes the corpse to his hands and engulfs Awimi with his tentacles, hiding her completely from view. Another lorleian drifts by—big, thick with muscle, a gray back and shoulders with a white underbelly. You recognize the sharp-tipped fins of a shark knifing through the kelp. It circles you once, then twice, slightly closer. Your heart leaps into your throat when something loops around your ankle and pulls. 

Ishyr drags you over with a tentacle until you’re close enough to grab with his claw, long fingers wrapped all the way around your neck. You struggle when he lowers his mouth to your neck, dagger-like teeth pricking your wetsuit. He makes a low, rumbling sound that you feel more than you hear, a vibration quivering all across your body. The other lorleian circles one more time, staring at you intently, before it sneers and swims away. Ishyr waits for some sign invisible to you before he suddenly lets you go and starts swimming again, his tentacles parting to allow Awimi to swim back out. 

He keeps you close after that, you notice. He looks back to make sure you’re still following several times, gesturing impatiently with a curl of the nearest tentacle. 

The next time you surface is on the sandy beach of the cove. Ishyr and Awimi stop swimming and start snaking along the ground, pulling themselves out of the water. There’s a scattering of large rock formations and tide pools with small, colorful creatures darting around, and the mouth of a sea cave up ahead. Bones litter the shore, sun-bleached and picked clean. Some animal. Some lorleian. Some human. Ishyr drags the corpse with his tentacles, leaving a soggy, blood-speckled trail up the beach. He stops to glance back over at his shoulder. 

“Might want to wait out here,” he says. 

You don’t argue. You can smell dead fish and decay, and you have no desire to see his food stash again. He chirrups at Awimi and she makes a similar sound back, much higher in pitch. You swear he almost smiles. 

You wait in the shadow of the cave’s entrance, watching the tide roll in and wisping clouds drift by. It’s peaceful here. Nothing but the whisper of the ocean and the faraway song of seabirds. You see crabs scurry around and small fish dart back and forth. A pod of dolphins cruise by in the distance, followed by a group of sleek gray lorleians. Coves like these are common spots for lorleians to rear young, whether they’re laying eggs in shallow nooks and burrows or whelping in the sand. It’s odd that Ishyr is the only one here, using it as a place to store his extras, but maybe he wasn’t alone once. 

All those months ago when he first saw you with Awimi in your arms and tears in your eyes, maybe that’s why he showed himself—sliding slowly and carefully up the beach with a pensive expression—instead of just swimming away.

Their voices echo from further in the cave. Ishyr uses a very different tone with Awimi than he does with you, evident even when he speaks Lorleian. The sounds are longer and drawling in sharp contrast to Awimi’s quick trills. Patient, you think. He goes slow and he listens intently. You also hear some truly sickening sounds—the shredding of meat, the crack of sinew, the wet slurp of soft tissues and slippery organs sliding around. 

It’s easy to lose track of time. Eventually, the chatter stops and the wet noises of a body coming apart fade to silence. You risk peeking deeper inside, only to find Ishyr very carefully depositing Awimi in a tide pool. She’s fast asleep, her tentacles curling and uncurling in unconscious motions. They cling to Ishyr’s arm when he sets her down until he plucks them off with his own, the gentle grip of his suckers seeming to soothe her. Ishyr strokes her head-tendrils. 

“Say something when you come in,” he mutters, keeping his voice a low, quiet hiss. “I don’t like surprises, especially here.” 

“Sorry,” you whisper. He glowers at you over his shoulder. “How is she?” 

“Mm. She’s doing well.” That almost sounds like pride in his voice. “Very stubborn. It’s a good thing. She doesn’t give up, even when she’s frustrated. She speaks better. Do you practice with her?” 

You wish you could. You don’t have the right organs to make the noises necessary for Lorleian, but you’ve studied to understand as much as you can. “There are recordings online,” you say. “I play them, and then we both try to figure out what they’re saying.” 

Ishyr sloughs towards you, tentacles squishing wetly against the stone floor. He flicks his hand towards the entrance of the cave and you follow, easily keeping pace beside him. His tentacles keep wandering over and sliding against your legs. You wonder if he even notices he’s doing it. Awimi’s the same way—her limbs all have minds of their own and sometimes grasp or smack things when she’s not paying attention, acting on their own impulses. 

“Do you have young of your own?” Ishyr asks. He doesn’t look directly at you but he watches you carefully out of the corner of his eye. 

“Me? No,” you say, startled by the question. 

“Mm. You could.” One of his tentacles slithers up to your thigh and you almost stumble. “Very easily, you could.” Ishyr snags you by the waist this time. You’d be more frightened if you weren’t so confused. His tentacles aren’t squeezing like they usually do. They’re loose and slippery, suckers plucking at your wetsuit and caressing your body. “Take this off,” he says.

“Wh—huh?” you ask. 

Ishyr cups your chin and makes you look him in the eye. “Take this off,” he repeats with a sharp smile. “Or I will rip it off of you.” 

“Ishyr, what—are you—wait a second!” You pull frantically at his tentacle when one of his suckers tugs threateningly at your sleeve. “What are you doing?” 

Another tentacle winds up your thigh, the tip settling directly between your legs where it starts to stroke and writhe. You completely lose your train of thought at the sensation of his suckers clinging and releasing in short bursts. It feels like a kiss, like a hot, sucking mouth trying to get at your sex through your clothes. “Is it not obvious?” he asks, claws grasping your jaw.

“It’s unexpected,” you insist. “Do you even like me? Like, in any way?” 

He regards you with narrowed eyes, searching your face for deception. “I haven’t been subtle.” 

This is news to you. “You threaten me every time I see you—”

“And yet you live,” he says wryly. “If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. More bones on this beach.” A tentacle drapes over your shoulder, the suckers honing in on your nipples and teasing them, pulling gently. The more you squirm, the more you’re surrounded by grasping, groping limbs. You’re surprised when he presses his lips against yours. They’re slick and salty, sharp teeth nibbling at your lower lip. “You’re here,” he murmurs, hot breath warming your mouth. “In my cove. My territory. I’ve invited you here, over and over, and I’ve let you leave alive. Either you’re kin, or someone trusted.” 

He starts tugging at your wetsuit again and you find yourself complying. This doesn’t feel real. The truth is you’ve snuck a few glances at Ishyr in the time you’ve known him and had some thoughts you’re not too proud of about his tentacles. Never in a million years did you imagine he’d be hooking his claws around the zipper of your wetsuit and tugging it down with such hunger in his eyes. 

“I’ve been contending with my instincts,” he admits. “But probably not the ones you’re thinking of. There’s a part of me that wants to bite when I see you doing stretches on the beach. You expose your neck…your belly…weak spots. Very enticing.” His tentacles squeeze those spots he likes so much while he speaks, suckling at your neck and wrapping around your stomach. Your face feels hot. Was he there when you did your warm ups before getting in the water? You don’t remember seeing him. Unless he’d stayed in the water, lurking somewhere just out of sight without saying anything…

Once your zipper’s down far enough, his tentacles are all over you. They’re helping, you think, trying to peel it off, but they’re also touching, fondling, feeling like tongues and fingers and firm hands and something else all together, all at once. Ishyr doesn’t waste any time. You’ve still got one leg in the wetsuit when you feel his suckers toying with your sex. You gasp and the tip of a tentacle fills your mouth. The taste is strange and briney, the texture slightly bumpy. 

“Shhhh,” he whispers. “Awimi is sleeping.” It’s infuriating how calm and collected he is, not even panting as he encloses you in constant pleasure. A tentacle rubs your sex while another toys with your entrance, the rest coiling sensually around your chest and hips and thighs, suckers sliding wetly over your skin like thousands of tongues. “Had you ever seen our young? Before her? I bet you hadn’t. We’re very solitary and the shore is too dangerous for the little ones. For us, when we see a happy, healthy hatchling swimming alongside a beautiful mother…a dedicated father…a lorleian, strong enough to rear young and protect it…” He shivers with a groan. “Mm. I would’ve mated you in the sand the day we met if we were the same species. Given the little one a sibling…or two…or more.”

He’s getting excited the more he talks about it, pulling the tentacle out of your mouth and replacing it with his tongue. The sensation of being covered in him, draped in licking, sucking kisses and caressing hands, pushes you rapidly towards climax. He must be able to tell because you hear him moan into your mouth and then everything gets harder, faster and more intense. The tentacle engulfing your sex feels like it’s pulsating, the suckling sensation making you buck your hips and whimper against Ishyr’s tongue. He wraps around you firmly, urging you to rut against him harder, to ride the wave of ecstasy as long and hard as you can. 

“If I could breed you, I would,” he murmurs, nipping the corner of your mouth. He trails kisses along your jaw to your ear, curling his tongue around the lobe. “You wouldn’t leave here empty. No, you wouldn’t leave at all. You’d be so, so full, it would only be a matter of time. Mm, you’re lucky I can’t. Seeing you with my eggs might ruin me. All I’d be able to think about is breeding you again, and again, and again.”  

He pulls you against his body when you come, your chest pressed to his and your hips pumping frantically in the wet, pleasurable warmth of his tentacles. You’re still catching your breath when you realize he hasn’t stopped babbling, muttering in your ear about breeding and eggs and how unbearably sexy you’d be guarding his little translucent bundles of joy. He stiffens suddenly, tentacles suddenly going rigid before his whole body relaxes and he sags against you.

“Ishyr? Ishyr!” you hiss. He’s too heavy and you both end up on the floor of the cave. He’s not bothered about it, if the way he immediately wraps around you is any indication. “Did…did you…?”

“I had to calm myself,” he mutters, his speech slightly slurred. “Can’t mate you today. We need time. You have to take Awimi back when she’s finished napping.” 

“Time?” you ask, intrigued. “How much time?” 

Ishyr rolls onto his side and brings you with him. You’d call it spooning if he wasn’t somehow on every side of you simultaneously, warm and comfortable. “Mm. The better part of a day, ideally.” 

“A day?” you echo, incredulous. “Do lorleians really mate that long?” 

Ishyr smiles. It’s wide, sharp and threatening, the same way he smiles when he casually threatens to bash your skull open against the rocks for questioning what he’s teaching Awimi. Did he think you’d realize he was kidding somehow? Was that its own strange form of flirtation? “I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?” he purrs, tracing your lips with his claw. 

You meet him halfway when he leans in for another kiss. You guess you will.

[bronx-bomber87]

Good evening fandom! Welcome to my inaugural mini review post. Holy hell I can’t believe we’re finally here. These probably won’t be as detailed as normal like I mentioned. Mini review is the goal. It’ll be initial thoughts and feelings. Which will be fun cause all the other seasons other than S5 I had ton of time to reflect on moments. These thoughts for S6 could change when I rewatch the season for review purposes this summer. The exciting thing is having those first reactions. That's what these will be.

So you're getting hot off the presses thoughts haha I just watched it couple hours ago. These are thoughts I had while it was happening. With some editing to make it readable ha Want my reactions be as authentic as possible with these. Why I avoid spoilers tbh. Be interested in seeing what everyone else’s are as well. The gif library was an absolute turd so I didn't get to use all the gifs that were made yet. So I made some. Anyways this so friggin exciting to delve into so let’s get started.

6x01 Strike Back

Tim got scruffier from the finale to now-and I’m here for it. Mm. Plus he's in Metro gear. Phew Lord. Something about scruffy Tim gets me going. Adore them riding together automatically after their battle. I truly love it. The little things I continually love with them. Also LOVING the Metro call sign. Yum If this going to be his call sign all season I am about it.

Oh my lord why is her sitting at his desk so squee worthy to me? It’s getting me all in my feels. I love that Lucy can just use his office as her own. So cute using it to steal it for some study time. I love this so very much. Then her asking if they can ride together so he can quiz her? Tim doesn’t hesitate for a moment before saying yes.

Still amazes me we’re in the place with them. The Tim of old would’ve groaned and moaned about such a task. He jumps right on it for her. Ready to help her out. Even though he’s not sure how much it’s gonna do. Clearly very aware Primm is out to get her. That is common knowledge now.

Lucy is right when she says it sucks. That she has to battle this and face possible wild cards.. It isn’t fair when she's earned her spot more than most. Fought and clawed for everything she's done in this department. Definitely more than Nolan... Hey wouldn't be a review if I didn't pot shot Nolan would it? lol I love Tim finding a solution for them. Saying they can take out do the box calls all day. Widen her knowledge a bit on it. Sharpen her skills with odd calls.

I love her grateful smile when she says 'Thank you.' Loves this man. Damnit they’re so cute their banter coming out of his office is on point. Tim saying she learns best when she’s pissed off. I mean if that isn’t her rookie experience with him in a sentence. Lucy saying this feels like she is giving him permission to be an ass. Heh it kinda is no matter what Tim says.

You know he kinda loves being able to make her his boot again in some form. He is going to enjoy himself with this. There is no doubt about it. That's why he's doing that smile of his. Lucy calling him out knowing this man so well. Pointing her finger and all. God I love these idiots so much. Tim trying to tell her just his smile. Uh huh sure it is Tim.... Lucy following after him with a smile of her own. These dopes I've missed them so damn much.

I’m very much loving Tim has not really shaved in 6 weeks ha. The scruffy remains and I’m excited about it. Lucy is starting to question asking Tim to help her. We all know she learns best from that man sitting next to her though. I also always enjoy when she gets to drive. Another micro shift that has changed that I love so much. Her heart eyes when he says Angela’s cop brain is just booting up LOL Loves this goober of man.

Lucy absolutely losing it and going on a rant of epic proportions had me rolling. LOL Massive emotional downward spiral happening here. I’m dying as I watch Tim take it in. God Eric the master of expressions crushing it again. This was a huge one for her holy crap. Nuclear really. Well done Melissa getting all that in with one breath basically. By the time she’s done I’m cackling at Tim’s expression. LMAO Oh my god these two. God I’ve missed them so much it pained me.

Lucy knowing Tim's reply without even looking at him. Just epic married status at this point. Doesn’t even have to look at him or for Tim to say anything. It’s already there because of that crazy good connection they have. How deeply they know one another. It’s so good. Tim being the smart man he is says nothing. Lucy knowing he’s thinking it haha

Lucy coming to conclusion she will do crazy wild card during the day and the manual at night. She will sleep when it's over LOL Tim shaking his head. Knowing there is nothing he can say right now that'll make this better. Or to derail her crazy train of thought. This is like S1/S2 them with the added benefit of them being together now. It’s glorious.

Getting serious Plain Clothes Day vibes from this episode as well. Except this time Lucy light years away from who she was then. Confidently reciting what she’s going to do Tim nodding along. Tim wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t rock her boat a little though. Lucy getting in her head about the crime scene now. Tim isn’t wrong she did tick all the obvious boxes. That the point of today is looking for wild cards. That’s what he wants her to engage that brilliant brain of her's in. It's why he's here.

To zero in on the 'Out of the box thinking'. Poor Lucy spirals out not being able to decide if she wants his help or not. I ADORE Tim telling her it’s ok to not know the answer. Not shaming her in the least just needing her to make a call. God how far we’ve come. Tim pushes her because he knows that is when she learns best. Trying to add a little urgency to her decision making. Unfortunately it backfires. I kinda loved them calling each other by their ranks in this heated exchange.

Lucy is so flustered it’s giving me PCD vibe once again in the best way. The sprinklers turn on and Lucy panics. There’s the wild card….We watch as a bullet leaves this man’s body and enters the storm drain never to be seen again. Lucy being so very disappointed in herself. It’s reminiscent of the disappointment she showed in s1 but only now she's far more experienced. So it hurts much more now….Oh Lucy my heart. You poor thing. Couldn’t have gone more wrong if she tried.

I can’t believe they played clown music upon her entrance.... Beyond cruel but that's cops. Always taking shots when people mess up spectacularly. Tim trying not laugh.... Babe she is spiraling right now maybe don’t lol Poor thing I would be mortified too. I love how both Tim and Lucy smile when they see Wes and the wee one. My heart. She wants Wes's opinion and he just crushes her with logic. Ugh She needs a hug. Bad day for our girl.

Lucy continues to break my heart as they sit in front of the crime scene. She is on the verge of tears. Verge of a breakdown it feels like as well. Killing me softly. Saying she should skip the detectives exam. My girl. Tim doesn't want her to give up. I will say this fight I feel like I would be Tim. Trying to be so supportive it’s come off as agreeing with her she can’t do it. When really he was just trying to be supportive of whatever she wants.

Can't win for losing right now Timothy. She is in a bad way right now. Lucy has some weight to her argument though. if I was her in this moment I would feel the same way. If I’m in a bad headspace I need reassurances. So I can relate to both of them in this fight. It’s not a fun time for either of them. Tim is still learning that emotional depth he needs to have with her in these moments.

Being supportive has worked before so he's not sure why it's backfiring right now. They’re solid but always room to grow beauty of them. Lucy spots someone pull up to crime scene crying. She has them peel out with Tim not really understanding why. Lucy catching her digging through her trash. She ends up getting a confession. Phew Well done Luce.

Oooh this final scene. Oh my damn lord. This is some PRIMO productive angst holy hell. Eric and Melissa came out swinging with it. I knew they were going to have one more scene about it. I just didn't think it would be this explosive. I adore Tim picking up on how short she is with him. Grabbing her by the arm and confronting her. Growth continuous growth for them both continues to show. Love it. Look at Tim being the one to come at this. I’m so proud of him.

Throwing her words from 5x21 somewhat back at her. Saying this isn’t going to work if she isn’t honest with him. Then Lucy really lays into him. Now do I think he purposely undermined her? No I don’t. Not ever. That’s not in his DNA to do that to someone he loves. I was deeply hurt for him when she suggested this. You can see how hurt he is when she says as such. He’s getting emotional and it makes me as well. I just wanna hug him.

Tim as we know is a DEEPLY loyal person. Also one of my main relations to him as a character. To purposely hurt someone they love isn’t fathomable to a loyal person. It's unthinkable. You have to hurt them first. To undermine Lucy would be to hurt her so he would never. To be accused of such by your favorite person? That cut's so insanely deep for him. I haven’t seen him this hurt since the 'Tim Test' line from her in 4x08. I’m legit wounded for him. He is so upset she could think that of him.

Now Lucy might be onto something with the subconscious part. He could’ve done it not realizing what he was doing. Because love isn’t rational. Man is hardwired to protect her and want to keep her safe. So I could see this especially with her psych background. I think this is solid guess at what happened. Now was this the right time to lash out at him for Isabel stuff? I don’t know…

Felt like a low blow when he was already down for the count. She is throwing him daggers with her eyes most of this conversation. Feels like its more than just the UC right now but that's just my guess at this point. Let's not forget she was having UC doubts towards the end of last season.

Now do they need to have these fights and conversations? HELL YES. My god this subject needs to be discussed. Especially with how 5x20-5x21 were. Want to reiterate this is my first impression. I was literally writing this as I experienced their fight for first time. When I rewatch it this summer this could change. My POV could shift. But right now I see a man who only thought he had her back and was raked across the coals in this moment.

So for me right now in this moment I feel like Lucy had pent up frustrations and took it out on Tim. The protective side of me for him isn’t pleased with that tbh. Doesn't mean I love Lucy any less. I adore her so much. You all know that. But my gut leaned towards Tim in this fight. That may be bias idk but it’s how I felt when it was said and done. Tim was very very defensive when she brought up Isabel. Which hasn't happened in awhile. But his emotions were heightened and he was on the defensive before they'd reach the topic of her.

Lucy basically kicked him while he was down and he felt it. I'm not discounting her feelings at all. She is allowed to feel overwhelmed. Has every right to be. She is STRESSED and it is coming out in all kinds of ways. Ways that aren't like her. I think she stewed on this thought the ENTIRE shift and it came out in the worst way. Which also isn't like her. What she did had him defaulting back to old school Tim. Cutting off the conversation before more emotions were to be had or he said something he would regret.

Basically cut the fight off at the knees and walked away. Lucy’s face says it all when he walks away. She wasn’t expecting that. Shocked he just left her like that. Oh Lucy, you wounded him more than once and he retreated HARD. Leaving her standing there wondering what the hell just happened? God this is so good though everyone. This is the type of angst I'm all for. What a way to start the season off hot damn. Hurts so good angst to get us going. I could not be more excited for where we go this season. Feel free to comment on this. Love to chat with you all about this. All uncharted territory for us all. We're in for quite the ride.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Who are these friggin people? They’re insanely ruthless. Like Rosalind level ruthless in how they just dispose of people. Sending two their team out as a distraction to be blown up. Jesus. Then sniping their own guy. They’re smart but cold af. Then killing who I thought was the boss at the end. Shit. Consider me intrigued.

I liked the 6 weeks later. Makes sense need to do a time jump.

Celina being more afraid of Tim than Harper. LOL little does she know they’re basically the same person haha

Poor Aaron wants to be back in the game and can’t be. I agree with Grey he’s not ready even if he thinks he is.

God I love Nyla Harper. Took that mofo out like the complete bad ass she is. Came with repercussions which made me sad for her.

Angela being more excited to see burritos than her husband lmao I love this woman.

Feeling little potential flirty action for Aaron and his therapist.

[cigarettesaftersae]

i'll like you - OMG

Same old, wake up, school, study, maybe hang out with your friends, then sleep and repeat. You learned being a regular human means to live by the force of habit to survive- so here you, school, in class as everyone waits for the teacher to arrive. Chatter falls straight into your ear not a sound able to be blocked seeing as every student seems to be quite happy in this spring season. Ever since being in a new class for a month, you have loathe every inch of it’s own structure. Last year seemed easier, you were the top of the class. Best grades, new student, everyone finds you cool— “where are you from? what's your name? you’re so smart! Wow, you got a 98 when you just transferred, you only had a few days to study this chapter and I still don’t understand it myself.” you can see why you wished it was just last year repeating over and over and over again. Only to find that repeating loop break due to one person, one very annoying and freakishly not stupid and multi-talented guy, Reo Mikage. You stare him down like a hawk, how despicable to not only be multi talent, (ew) handsome, smart, but dirty rich, like cash overflowing billions, millions. You remember hearing about him last year, how freakishly good he was at everything from the small gossips here and there. How some girls talked about giving him chocolate last year and you replied with a “who?” which was a bad choice of words despite just being one word, the girls were brightly shocked and offended by your lack of knowledge on this Reo mikage..? So what if he’s smart, you’re smarter and you know it.

“Wow a 99 again Mikage? as usual” a boy says to Reo, probably a friend

“Ah yeah, this chapter seemed easy so I passed it with ease.” Reo says with a soft confidence

“What~! It felt kind of confusing..”

With a month observation, you learned that girl to be Naomi, some girl whose very pretty, flawlessly pretty like first love k-drama gorgeous and to unfortunately add, a friend to the Mikage kid — or “friend”

Not only did you noticed, but the whole class gossips about it, how Naomi and Reo are the ideal couple around town. They’re both nice, caring, smart, talented, and have the money. Yet, they both claim to be just friends and nothing more. Money, a paper twig that every human would go after for. You only got through this smart, wealthy school due to being extremely smart in your previous highschool where as Hakuho High School noticed your perfect behavior. How do you pay for a rich school though? Your grandparents are wealthy seeing as your grandfather stabilizes his lawyer career outstandingly, so they pay for your school intuition, however, it took a toll on your mother. You see, your mother and your grandparents have lore dating long ago. All three hold these grudges that center to you. As the same age you are, 16, your mother had gotten pregnant with you, leading her to run away as soon as you were born, earn a steady job, take care of you, and survive. Since then, mother and your grandparents haven’t gotten a firm relationship, not even talked, or a hello till the mail shipped you a letter to be full accepted into Hakuho High School with the price of many many many numbers to pay. Looking over to your grandparents were the only solution in this problem.

The pro on this situation was a boy, with white snowy hair, 6’3, and weirdly aloof. In your free time, you would slip in playing video games. You grow to like it then love it, then be a pro at it. With such skills, you joined the gaming club at the school to find him, Nagi Seishiro, was it love at first sight? He was so cute, his hair, amazing gaming skills, and nonchalant personality. He had to be the one.

-

Back in class

You glared dreamy eyes into the back Nagi, even sleeping he looked admiringly beautiful. You only talked to him a few times. First when he noticed your good gaming skills (notice me more), second when he gave you a pencil for class, and 3rd when you guys were in an internet cafe with the club. You could only dream of being a small couple in a cottage with white fluffy cat as your guys’ kid.

“Hey y/n?… y/n?” Yuna pokes your tickle spot making you joint.

“H-huh? sorry I was zoning out” you chuckle softly

“mhmm…Anyways I wanted to talk to you about something actually” You looked at Yuna, her face blushed a small pink hue, her pale dainty hands rested at her thighs, she seemed nervous to confess whatever it was. But all that was interrupted to the teacher who finally arrived, going straight up today’s work

“Alright Class, take out your book onto Chapter 10 please”

“Tell me at lunch” You reassure her as she goes back to her seat.

—

As the lunch bell rang, students ran straight out of class to their friends, some ate their packed lunches at their desk, and others wondered off, and then there's a few students who stayed to study for a bit— that being Reo and Naomi. Whereas Reo sat in front of her turning his back around to face her and help Naomi on the lesson, they weirdly annoyed you. Maybe it was the filthy money they had, the effortless beauty they obtained, or the smart-packed brains inside their dull skulls, or maybe it was everything combined from birth. You couldn’t doubt it though, they did look good together. The perfect couple, the total package.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you went to Yuna as she finished up her study.

“Alright I’m all done, let’s go to the cafeteria” Yuna beamed excited after hours of lectures and studying

“Did you girls wanna come along?” Mira chimed in with a few other girl-friends behind, she was a lively girl, friends with many others, and excellent in the many clubs she participated in.

“Sure, lets go Yuna”

You all entered into the lunchroom; belly ready to consume any savory you taste on your tongue.

“So Yuna, what did you want to talk about?” You asked curiously

“Oh…well, it’s kind of a boy thing..”

“Oooo, it’s a crush isn’t it?” Mira seemed intrigued

“OMG who who?!”

“Is he cute? oh he must be?

“What’s his name? maybe we can help you give him chocolate for this upcoming valentines~”

“Or we could make it so it's more intimate.”

Without hesitation, everyone supported on Yuna’s so-called crush but you’re just curious exactly who. Please don’t be Reo Mikage, you hate him, don’t take my best friend away from me!!

“Its…Nagi Seishiro..”

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

i've been here before

day 11 whumptober prompt: seeing double | convenience store | loneliness

omaha is cold

colder than palmetto and columbia ever were 

both literally and figuratively

he hasn’t seen andrew in months

being on pro teams away from each other is far more difficult than they originally thought it would be

it was an error on their part, honestly

they both felt the struggle andrew’s first pro year while neil finished his last year at palmetto, but they’d figured it out after a few months

the same can’t be said for their current situation

there are 1240 miles between omaha and new york city, they’re not even in the same league for half of the year and their schedules are the most hectic they’ve ever been 

so omaha is cold

and lonely

neil can’t remember how he survived how suffocating loneliness feels 

he’s just barely getting along with his teammates, half of which don’t respect him as a first year and half of which despise him for being so good as a first year

his family chose to stay on the east coast: somehow, matt, kevin and andrew are all part of the new york barons, dan stayed in south carolina, aaron is in med school up in boston, nicky is in germany, allison is in paris, renee is working with the peace corps… somewhere, robin has a long way to go at palmetto

he has no one but himself

so he runs

he runs and runs and runs

runs so he doesn’t have to think about how andrew is probably asleep in new york at this hour, runs so he doesn’t have to think about how he should be asleep at this hour too, runs so he doesn’t have to sit in his lonely apartment that hasn’t seen anyone but himself in too long, runs so he doesn’t think about the crushing pain and the expectations to succeed

runs so he can convince himself he’s happy here

because if he isn’t happy, if he isn’t enjoying himself, then what’s the point of exy?

and if he doesn’t find joy in exy then what can motivate him to do his best? 

and if he doesn’t do his best what’s stopping the moriyama’s from killing him? 

so he runs

runs for hours on end until his muscles burn and his vision blurs and his ears ring with the thud of his heartbeat 

he can barely breathe by the time he stumbles so badly he nearly crashes into a light pole

but he’s okay

his mind is free of all thought

who needs a functioning thought process anyway

not neil josten no

all his body is focused on is on the throbbing of his legs, the burning in his lungs, the way he’s gasping for breath

he ran a bit too far from his apartment this time, but that’s okay

that’s why he learned to carry cash with him, he’ll just look for a place to catch a bus ride someplace closer to home

well, not home

he’d need more than what he’s got in his pockets to catch a bus ride home

but anyway

he’s bending over, supporting most of his weight on the pole, air coming in in short breaths, but he looks up to get his bearings

there’s two gas station convenience stores right next to each other a little bit down the road

no wait

there are also two light poles

and maybe he has two arms

huh 

okay, so maybe he needs to drink some water or some electrolyte solution

maybe he should even buy a pack of crackers or something 

maybe he has a bit of time to sit down on the curb outside the convenience store as he waits for the world to stop spinning around him

there are two blurry bustops down the road too

he pulls (with two right hands) out his one phone out of the pocket of his running shorts (he doesn’t remember if he has one or two phones)

two clocks tell him it’s nearly 1 am

two zeroes say there are no new messages

that’s okay

he has to learn to survive loneliness again

easy peasy

nothing he hasn’t ever done before

he just has to stop seeing two moons and he’ll get up, he’ll go buy one (or maybe two) electrolytes and something to eat from the gas station store and then he’ll find his way back… back to his apartment

he just has to stop wondering if andrew is seeing one or two moons, has to stop himself from adding another text to the unanswered pile in andrew’s inbox

he wants to ask him if another moon appeared for everyone else too 

but he doesn’t 

he doesn’t need to

he’s neil josten

he was alone long before he became real

he can survive loneliness once more

i used the omaha eagles bc i’d used them in a previous short story and didn’t feel like  overthinking it when i have class at 7 am tomorrow sorry but hey! i caught up with prompt 11 and it's still the 11th for me!! yay!! title from routines in the night by twenty one pilots (really encompasses both this and the day 8 story ngl)

[the-moon-lullaby]

Hello! May I request Nath, Cas, Lys, Armin and maybe Kentin if you feel like it with Candy who was forced to do some "important ambitious" job (like lawyer or doctor) by her parents with high expectations even so she always dreamed about being book autohor? Thank you in advance! Also sorry if there are any errors in my english

 The HSL Boys reaction to Candy’s parents pressuring her to get a prestigious job

N/A : Okay so this post really took a while to write because I really struggle with it yet I tried something and I hope that you'll like it still !

info : it takes place at the end of UL except for Kentin where it's during HSL

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Castiel probably noticed that Candy wasn’t really enthusiastic about her degree but at the same time she was studying law/medicine so he thought this was normal 

(I mean from personal experiences and from what I’ve observed, at university it’s almost impossible to differentiate someone who doesn’t like their degree or someone that’s simply struggling with it. At some point everyone has their little burnout and mental breakdown era and it's almost part of the routine that it become ironically comical. And I don’t even want to imagine what it’s like when you’re studying medicine or law)

So when they all finally graduate from university (except if Candy’s studying medicine, then my girl still has a long way to go) he expected her to be happy about it because now she’ll be able to do her dream job 

At least he thought so but the he looks at her, she doesn't look happy at all 

It’s probably when Candy is a middle of a mental breakdown or an existential crisis (or both at the same time for more FUN) that she ends up telling him that this isn’t the job she wanted to do and it’s actually quite far from being her dream 

When she tells him she wants to be an author, he’s quite baffled because he really didn’t expect this 

I mean he knew Candy like to write and read, but she never really talked about making it her career 

He feels horrible because he wished he knew and it breaks his heart to see her so distressed 

He also angry at her parents because they’re the one that put her in this situation 

Afterwards he’ll try to find a solution at all cost 

Castiel is a very passionate person and it shows the best when it’s about his passion. Also, I think one of Castiel biggest fears is to live a life full of regret 

Therefore it really hurts him to see Candy so close to give up her dreams and he can see that it’s tormenting her

And he loves and cares about her a lot so he won’t let things get worse 

Giving up won’t be an option for Castiel (he’s a lot of things but certainly not a quitter) plus, since Crowstorm’s going pretty well, he has some ressources now

He’ll encourage her to take this year abroad with him to begin with and focus on her writing 

Since that he now knows that she wants to be an author and that he has some contacts, he might look up names in the book industry so he can share what he learned with Candy (and maybe give her some opportunities who knows ?) or he’ll tell her that he’d love to write what she reads if she allows him to (and that means a lot ‘cause as I said, he’s not much of a reader but for her, he can try to become a better one)

In the end, Castiel is very loyal and whatever’s her plans for the future, she can count on Castiel and is unfailing support

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 :

Firstly, the long distance relationship makes it hard to communicate 

Also, when Candy comes to visit his at the farm or when he goes back in town occasionally, she seems to avoid talking about university 

He always thought it was because she didn’t want to think about stressful things

But one day, as graduation day was getting closer she couldn’t hold it in anymore and she ended up telling him about the situation 

Lysander listened to her diligently but he was very confused the whole time 

I think that if Candy’s a writer, it might have been one of the reason her and Lysander grew so close in the first place

Creative/Artistic interests really make people to connect with each other (and I think it’s beautiful) hence, I doubt that Candy and Lysander didn’t really talk about it together

Even before they started dating, Lysander probably asked her if he could read her works as he was curious and she let him 

And he liked it quite a lot (maybe a bit biased by love but that’s not gonna keep him from seeing talent)

But when she started university to study law/medicine, he thought that maybe it was because she didn’t see writing as something more than a hobby 

He’s can’t believe that her parents set her up like this 

Yes because for him, that’s clearly sabotage. How could they dismiss their daughter’s happiness like that ? 

However, Lysander can think of a few solutions already 

I mean what’s his is also Candy’s 

So he tell her that she’s more than welcome to come live on the farm as long as she wants to (even permanently) if she needs to get away from university 

He wouldn’t be the one to tell her « you should still finish that degree, it’ll open your doors for future jobs » because for him, there’s no point wasting time trying to « secure » a future for a job you have no interest in or no desire to pursue

To him, there’s no such thing as « prestigious » job and it’s nothing more than an superficial idea based on  traditional (and capitalistic) societal standards and that’s what he’ll tell Candy 

Overall, he’d encourage Candy to go after her dreams and with him by her side, he’ll certainly fill the lack of support from her parents because he’s determined to see her happy

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 :

Armin doesn’t know much about being what it's like to be an author so when Candy tells him that’s the job she'd actually like to do he’d just be like « well do it then ? », not really making the connection between this dream and her actual studies 

Afterwards would have to tell her that she can’t because she’s studying to be a doctor or a lawyer and again he’d go « if you don’t want to do it, just don’t ? »

At this point Candy’s just « bitch be fucking for real »

However by saying that, he’s not trying to be a bitch or anything, I just think Armin has a very simple vision of things since he knows he’ll find support within in family for whatever he set his mind to (it may not included hacking governmental shit and then getting arrested in front of the whole high school, but I mean it’s not like Armin would do that, right ?)

Like he wants to be a game developper ? ‘Okay let’s do it’. He changed his mind and wants to do something else ? It’s still, ‘Okay, let’s do it’

He didn’t know Candy’s parents actually forced her to study law/medicine in order to become a lawyer/doctor and he’s honestly in disbelief 

He doesn’t get what her parents means by « prestigious job » and why they’re so pressed about her wanting to be an author. Like bro, they were certainly not the ones spending 5 years going through the ups and downs (and a lot of downs in these sectors so I’ve heard) of university and they also won’t  be the ones having to work for this « prestigious » work as they says for their whole life ???(WHY ARE THEY EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT FFS)

I feel like Armin would encourage her to do what she wants to do  without giving a shit about what her parents say

He has this philosophy that can basically be resumed as « doing whatever the hell occurs to him in the bloody moment » (it’s a little reference from the Haunting of Bly Manor but it’s accurate because if there’s one thing about this show, it’s that it teaches us that what really matters is to live in the moment and not for others. I am getting out of topic so I’ll just leave it here lol)

Like if she wants to finish her degree still, he’ll be like « okay sure » but know that he knows about your dream, he’ll try to find different way for you to achieve it

He’d make some researches to find ways to become an author and would find some platform for Candy to write on (yesss tech-boy)

He’d try to support her the best he can and would share her works on social medias and all (he’d also try to learn a bit more about the book industry ‘cause he doesn’t know anything about it. But that won’t stop him from basically being Candy’s manager even if she says he doesn’t need to do that much. He’s really invested lol)

He’s really supportive but he also view this as a kind of mission : she has to be an author ‘cause he won’t stand there watching her while the thought of giving up her dream is tormenting her 

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Oh dear, he’s completely disarmed when Candy tells him about not wanting to be a lawyer since he really thought that it was her dreams (she was studying this for almost the past 5 years so he assumed that she liked it you know)

He’s a bit relieved though because if his girlfriend wanted to be a lawyer, he’d be worried that his little slid-ups in life (is that an understatement ? I don’t think so. Everyone make mistakes right ?) would discredit or impact her

However when Candy tells him that it’s her parents that wanted her to become a lawyer (or a doctor), he starts to connect the dots

All these times when Candy told him that she felt like she was wasting her time and that uni was hellishly hard (relatable haha) in opposition to how her eyes lit up when she was talking about this idea she just had and that she wanted to write down

Yeah, if he hadn’t been caught up in this whole situation with the drug-deal/gang (whatever beemoov calls this), he would have noticed and perhaps he’d have been able to support her earlier

He feels guilty because he can only imagine how alone she must have felt for these 5 years and also, she kinda save him from such a fate 

I mean, guys, his father, before Nathaniel got emancipated, wanted him to go business school to be a CEO or whatever 

And Nathaniel did not wanted that nor did he wanted his life to be planned by his father 

and damn he succeed in that ‘cause I don’t think Francis (stinky bitch. Sorry I just feel the need to insult this man) really planned Nathaniel becoming a drug dealer so slay Nath (a win is a win y’all. Glad he didn’t actually make a career of it lol)

So, she doesn’t have to explain herself or anything, Nath just gets it 

Yet, he’s a bit confused about why she lets her parents decide her future when she basically did everything she could back in the days to prevent him from getting such a life 

So he’s a bit confused but don’t get me wrong, he’s grateful for Candy to have open his eyes on who he was and that he had the right to choose his own path (which apparently was drug-deal related. Sorry for that) so be sure that he’s more than glad to return the favour 

He’d have long conversations with Candy about it 

I feel like Nathaniel, at some point, might have want to become a detective novel writer (maybe in middle school or in the beginning of high school when he was still allowed to have dreams) so he knows one things or two about being an author since he already made some researches on the topic. Therefore, he’d share them with Candy 

Also, he’d propose her to read her works if she wants some feedback 

If Candy is scared to let everything down to do something completely different, Nathaniel will be here to tell her that at least she’s not alone in this situation and that they can go on this journey together (just to remind that he did a whole post-graduate degree in Literature to become a police officer, this will never not be funny to me)

In the end, no matter what, Nathaniel would encourage Candy to become an author just as she supported him so many times and he’d reassure by telling her that he’ll be her number 1 fan (this man god)

N/A : Okay so for Kentin it’s a bit different because I imagine the situation better in HSL’s settings (idk why but it doesn’t really matter anyway) so in this case Candy is not currently following a degree to be a lawyer or a doctor (and is not one either) but it’s the end of high school and her parents wants her to go to uni in that perspective :

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗 :

Kentin can relate with Candy ‘cause his dad kinda wants him to join the army like he did 

Kentin’s dad basically wants his son to become another version of him and no, leave this boy alone pls (he’s too good to be like that)

So in this case, Candy and Kentin kinda share the same situation therefore I think they would both feel kinda stuck 

Its give them something to bond about (trauma-bond because of the fact they’re being controlled by the parents whose role should remain at being their kids support and not prosecutor. I feel like everyone in this game is traumatised one way or the other. Pls beemoov give them a break)

They would talk a lot about their dreams : Candy wants to be an author and share with the world her stories, Kentin wants to travel and be surrounded by animals (dogs more specifically. He’s a dog-person and I love that for him), both listening to the other with utter trust and attention as they’ve become each other confidant 

At some point, (I am not sure which one it would be but I would say it was Kentin since he really seemed to gain some maturity, especially after the whole Evan arc), but one of them just start to think « what if we actually go for it ? Like what if we just do it ?»

I mean they’ve been each other’s support for so long now (at least a few months), they know they can rely on each other. Therefore the idea of risking it all to pursue the life they’ve kept talking and dreaming about seem less scary than the though of waking up at 50 and wonder what could have been (my biggest fear really)

So when it comes to confront their parents about it, it would be this « I do it if you do it » vibe (out of topic but Kentin and Candy’s relationship is too sweet, even if I didn’t play it, it certainly has a special place in my heart)

They would end up telling their parents about their projects but it’s nothing like asking for approval. It’s more like their explaining them what they’re going to do and take it or leave it, no matter what we’re doing it

And we're done !

*Also I just want to add that, obviously, I have nothing against people pursuing studies to become a lawyer or a doctor (and I knows how hard this is so if you're doing that you have all my love & support <3) but it has to be a personal choice. It's only problematic when it was pressed upon you by someone else (especially parents)

[hopefull-mindset]

I’m eating up all of your Komaeda and Hinata analyses, they’re just so clear and detailed! This might just be my bias, but I’m wondering about your perspective on komahina gradually (hopefully) healing together. I feel like the majority of the fandom mostly focuses on how Hinata would help Komaeda, probably because it seems the more obvious and Komaeda’s worldview is the more obviously skewed. But I feel like Komaeda also has the potential to, at least to an extent, help Hinata heal from his experiences. I don’t doubt that Hinata learned something from the simulation, but he also has a flawed perception of talent and a very low self worth, and I bet it wouldn’t go away overnight. Of course, this comes with the assumption that they would get along again post SDR2, which could be another thing to analyze for sure. Let me know what you think!

Ah I’m flustered again with your kind words! Thank you, I try my best to make sure my point is well explained with backed up reasoning since I tend to suffer intellectually when people don’t do that themselves. Especially when it’s a claim that has no backing but everyone takes at face value *grumble* *grumble*. It doesn’t have to be confirmed canon to be a creditable analysis, a good analyzer doesn’t need to rely on the creator’s every word, but it also can’t just contradict canon itself (unless, if you’re dr3, you contradict canon already and so it’s expected to discard it as creditable). Death of the author doesn’t work like that and it just comes off arrogant, you’re supposed to be working with canon Jesus Christ. Unless it’s a very specific situation where the creator is just garbage at handling their own work, I don’t think anyone deserves that right.

Oops sorry I went off into a tangent. I’m getting a little pissed at what people think is an analysis at all.

Now, with them healing post-game… you’re gonna have to stick with me because this is a lot to speak about. We all want them to be happy together as fellow Komahina shippers do haha, so it’s not you alone that has this bias, but it’s not going to be as quick and easy as the anime shows it to be.

To start, it’s sweet that people do think Hajime can help Komaeda because he can, but they’re going in the wrong direction with this. Hajime is not his nurse, therapist, or at his personal beck and call. Everyone on the island is healing, not just Komaeda. They’re both adults and he doesn’t need to nanny him. Komaeda most likely is going to need more attention medically considering his already poor health and the severed hand of Junko, but mentally? Everyone is pretty much going through some version of mental instability.

Now that’s out of the way, you’re right. People do focus on how Hajime can help him over how Komaeda can help him because it’s more obvious to us. We’re all (hopefully) aware that Hajime had the most positive/impactful influence out of anyone in the cast because of his way of somehow worming into Komaeda’s heart due to their “special bond” and put on a different, more personal level compared to the ultimates. The fact that Hajime proves against what he’s believed in just by being Hajime also works in the favor that Hajime would be the most helpful for him to grow closer with.

I’m glad you brought it up because Komaeda would definitely be as much help to Hajime. A lot of fans have a bad habit of thinking Hajime is much more stable than the rest of the cast and has solutions to everything, when Hajime is also growing with them. Komaeda is deceptively perceptive in how he interacts with Hajime in game. It feels rude when he does target his thoughts toward Hajime and gives his own insight on Hajime’s own person, but he’s never wrong about him when you look back at what’s being said.

When he went on that tangent after finding out what was in Hajime’s file in chapter 4, it was uncalled for to dump that all onto a person at once, but none of what he said about Hajime was wrong. All of it that he said about Hajime admiring hopes peak and what Hajime thought he could be by attending, none of it was objectively wrong. To defend Komaeda in this instance though, he wasn’t being mean on purpose, he was spelling out his own thoughts after being hit with the worst news ever.

However, even in the FTEs when he brings up how similar they are and him being a “miserable bystander” like himself, Hajime always rejects him and by proxy rejects himself. He rejects the part of himself that’s clearly seen in Komaeda at every instance because it’s inconvenient to recognize. Now though, he needs to recognize this if he’s going to accept himself and do what he promised to do outside of the simulation.

To reject Komaeda is to reject himself, that’s why I think it’d benefit both of them to heal with each other and in my wishful thinking, become closer. Another tidbit, as unnerving as Komaeda can be, Komaeda’s uplifting words do clearly make Hajime feel better, especially in chapter 1, and is hurt when he’s the target of distrust or ridicule by Komaeda even after their relationship becomes rocky (oh Hajime, he doesn’t mean it like that). Komaeda is not in the greatest position to help anyone, but these two points would partly help Hajime the most.

To get anywhere near that type of intimacy to let another person get that close to your whole being, especially in their situation, it’s uh. I’m already wincing imagining it play out. Again, It’s glossed over how much work it’s going to take in general for them to heal as a group, but god a relationship like theirs? The only thing I can say is yikes!

Contrary to popular opinion (or unpopular considering what side of the fandom you’re on), it’s not Hajime that’s going to put the most obstacles and barriers between them, it’s Komaeda. Hajime is already on the path of self-reflection and growth, so while for him it’s going to be nerve wracking to try and connect with again, it’s not going to be impossible for him. He already went out of his way to try and understand Komaeda when he’s able to in-game, even after all that Komaeda had did considering his attitude towards listening to his final words when you interact with his cottage after trial 5. It doesn’t make his feelings any less complicated or any less harder for him to confront Komaeda, but he’s going to be more willing in comparison. Komaeda’s side of this is where the real mess starts.

Geez, where do I begin? For one, he’s not gonna be typical Komaeda the way the anime tricks you he’d be. I don’t think he’d be angry at anyone in particular after waking up and finding out everyone is alive. He never was angry at them in the first place, he just stopped idolizing them and did what he thought was right due to his anger at what they decided to become. Questionable I know, but that’s how Komaeda is. Instead, I think Komaeda would just be more lost than he already was, more so after finding out what happened after he “died” and their decision to move forward.

He already keeps to himself, but I think he’d do it more so. I’m not sure he’d know what to say to any of them anymore besides his honest thoughts, which never goes well. He could go back to praising their talents, but for what? Their potential Hope when they’ve already plagued the world with the despair using their talents? What a joke. Again, he can’t easily just let go of what’s essentially his lifeline so that behavior would probably be reserved for people like Naegi or Kirigiri.

Eventually him and Hajime are gonna talk and it’s not going to be pretty. Im sure you can imagine it. This isn’t me saying they don’t have that potential to reconnect because if you remember correctly, he quite literally only apologizes to Hajime in his final message and to his own confusion, says he still cares for him even after what he found out. It’ll just take way longer than just a couple months. It’s not going to be as smooth as it could be, but they’ll try.

Other than that, the only thing to really address is the can of worms that is romantic possibilities. He’s able to truly call him a friend when grown close enough to each other and does show visible improvement in this closeness in stuff like utdp/DrS or Island Mode, but that was already hard enough as it is for Komaeda. I’m not gonna deny that Komahina is “one-sided” in all technical meaning, but not in the way it’s usually used by others. It being one sided means nothing toward Hajime’s general feelings for Komaeda. He still cares about Komaeda regardless of other feelings, but one-sided shouldn’t mean that their relationship stays stagnant?? People use it as if it’s a gatcha to Komahina shippers, which is hilarious.

I don’t like using one sided to describe their relationship as it now has this connotation that Hajime is never going to love him back, and pretty much is an oversimplification of what’s actually preventing him from gaining feelings as well. One-sided is too jarring for me to place on their too complicated mess of a relationship. Kaimaki is one-sided in that I can’t see Kaito responding to her feelings the same way, but somehow they’re suddenly more possible because it’s heterosexual. Too stupid.

Romance should not be important in the healing stage and would probably make things more messy, putting too much importance in romance devalues their relationship to only their ship. Komahina antis are much more guilty of this than the shippers, but it’s a problem I’ve seen with both. If you were to really ask me if Hajime would ever love Komaeda the way Komaeda loves him, then that’s really up to how close Komaeda lets him understand and empathize with him. That’s the only real obstacle here and not one people address well enough.

Hajime could definitely love him otherwise if given the opportunity, but it would destroy Komaeda to let him in that close for him to disappear from his life because of his luck. Issues are complex. Anyway, I hope I answered satisfactory! I could’ve said more, but I’d like to hold those thoughts for another post and I would like to stay on topic believe it or not.

[presidenthades]

I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 2!

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

Those gold dancing slippers with pink roses and sunbursts? Aegon 100% bought those for Jace (in Sunfyre’s colors of course), and that’s why she freaks out about them in Chapter 3.

Helaena has FRIENDS in this verse! Because she gets to grow up with three kinswoman close in age to her! Yay! I imagine her spending a lot of time with Jace, Luce, and Joff while they’re all living at the Red Keep.

That black and green three-pointed star is supposed to be some kind of reference to the three main couples of this series. Please don’t ask for details because I don’t have any 🙈

Rhaena and Baela’s crushes on Helaena and Jace, respectively, have begun sprouting in this chapter. They are very embarrassed by their dad acting like a weirdo in front of their crushes.

Daemon has a mental diatribe about Aegon’s dissolute ways, but in actuality Daemon would probably enjoy hanging out with someone who can keep up with him in Flea Bottom. Alas.

Neither book nor show canon says anything about Aegon or Aemond squiring, but I think healthy young princes would be expected to squire, like Daeron. I’m thinking Aegon strongly disliked the idea of having to squire (which involves a lot of acts of service) so maybe he a) threw a fit or b) used some weaponized incompetence until people gave up. 😆 But show!Aemond would like the idea of becoming a chivalrous knight, and Criston seems like a good option to squire for, considering Criston’s proximity to Alicent.

In this verse, Rhaenyra chooses to move her family to Dragonstone for different reasons than canon (where she felt pushed out by the Hightowers). Here, she’s mostly concerned about Jace and Aegon. I’ll delve into more detailed commentary later for Chapter 6, but basically, the kids have hit puberty and Jace and Aegon have already been caught sneaking around to kiss and hold hands. You can’t really keep them apart if they’re living in the same castle, so Rhaenyra’s solution is to relocate her daughters. Rhaenyra still plans to commute to court as needed (like in Chapter 4), but it’s not the most politically expedient move even if she’s decided it’s best for personal reasons.

We get our first glimpse of what the Jace/Aegon relationship is like. Jace spends a good amount of time trying to make Aegon act nicer (especially toward Aemond; no Pink Dread in this verse). She tends to use the carrot instead of the stick, which is Aegon’s preferred learning method, so Jace is more successful than Alicent who does it the other way.

Daemon doesn’t believe in anything he can’t see with his own eyes so he’s not superstitious, BUT Joff makes him question a lot of things. 😆 He figures out real fast that regardless of whether she’s actually witchy, it’s best to stay on her good side. (Otto also knows something is up with that girl lol)

I’m definitely exploring Joff’s dynamic with Laenor in a future installment in this verse. For now, let’s just say it was complicated. As precocious as Joff is, she’s only 6 and she doesn’t actually know everything.

“Window closes, heart opens, door opens, heart closes.” Helaena’s prophecy is about Aemond’s eye and the Luce/Aemond relationship, though I originally planned for it to play out differently (more to come in Chapter 4 commentary). As the fic currently stands, the prophecy breaks down like this: window closes = Aemond loses his eye. Heart opens = Luce opening up to Aemond again. Door opens = the rookery door when Daemon messes with the letters. Heart closes = Luce and Aemond’s three year estrangement.

Chapter 3 commentary here

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Knight in Training | A Night of Bloodshed

Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: minor character death, ptsd, panic attacks, sword fights (not the sexy ones, literal steel)

Pairings: none

Word Count: 4236

Don’t grip the pommel, this is not a situation where you are expected to fight.

Keep your head on a swivel. The Prince is the center of the room for a reason, best not let your eye be the last to see something coming for him.

Shift your weight every so often to prevent your muscles from locking up and getting stiff. You must be able to move with only a split-second notice.

“More wine, ser?”

Janus blinks, turning to look at the servant standing next to him. He smiles politely and shakes his head. The servant nods back and goes to tend to some of the senior knights seated at the long table next to the prince. Janus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, allowing his eyes to roam over the crowded hall once more.

The feast started about three hours ago and shows no sign of ending anytime soon. He supposes he can’t find too much amiss with that; it wasn’t every day a rival kingdom agrees to an end to the rivalry between them in favor of a thoroughly negotiated peace treaty. It had taken weeks, months, even to get everything settled so that both sides would agree with it. Many nights of Janus staying awake to the sounds of mumbled curses and the scratching of quills as the prince labored long into the small hours of the morning. Many hours sat at the prince’s side as he explained why the simplest solutions were in fact, far more complicated than Janus could have ever feared and he was certain that statecraft was never something he would dare call ‘easy’ ever again. Many afternoons of watching the prince be a little too flashy in training because he’d been staring at the same piece of parchment for three days and ‘if I look at it for another second, Janus, I’m going to end up ripping the whole thing to shreds.’

He slept well those nights out of sheer exhaustion.

But at last, it was over. The treaty had been drafted and signed by both Prince Roman and the prince of the other kingdom—Janus can never remember his name, not when everyone insists on calling him some variant of ‘Prince’ and ‘the Other Party.’—and now they were here, hosting the delegation in a celebration of peacetime.

In short, there’s not much for Janus to do except stand at the prince’s shoulder and wait for the night to end.

The prince himself looks…happy. Truly, he does. His cheeks are slightly red from the wine flowing like a river from the kitchens, but the light in his eyes is as clear as ever, and judging by the way the table keeps laughing, his sense of charm hasn’t been disrupted for a moment. Janus finds himself smiling too. After all the work he’s put into getting this moment, he deserves the chance to celebrate it as much as anybody.

A flash of movement out of the corner of his eye and he scolds himself for getting distracted. He turns and watches another servant walking along the outside of the hall, back towards one of the doors leading to the corridor beyond. He frowns.

He’s never seen this servant before.

Now, that in and of itself ought not to raise his hackles, but he takes in the way they’re walking. Smooth, fluid steps that are at odds with the slightly hunched shoulders. Their head turns almost casually but they do a full sweep of the hall in less than a second. He averts his gaze when the sweeps covers him, using the burnished shield on the wall to see when they aren’t looking anymore.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees them take one last look around and vanish through the door.

It’s probably nothing, but over the years he’s learned to trust that part of him that says that something’s not what it seems. So he glances around to make sure no one else is staring at him and makes his move.

With his heart in his throat, he inches over to the Prince’s other shoulder, positioning himself so he can glance at the burnished mirror and keep an eye on the door. He forces himself to take battle breaths again, slowing his heart rate and focusing on the room, not what could go wrong. The visiting men are still smiling and toasting with their knights, the prince is still laughing, the rest of the feast is still proceeding as planned.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees movement in the reflection of the mirror and hears the unmistakable sound of footsteps. He takes a deep breath, counts slowly backward from three, and—

—turns just in time to smack right into the servant, spilling the jug of wine everywhere.

“Forgive me,” he demurs immediately, bowing low as wine drips off of both of them, shattered porcelain on the floor, “I didn’t see you there.”

“It is my fault, ser,” the servant says, their smile just a touch too tight, “I should have notified you that I was coming.”

Janus bends down as they do, withdrawing a handkerchief from his breastplate and mopping up some of the wine. From over his shoulder, he sees another set of servants approaching—these ones he does recognize—and the prince’s voice calls out.

“Leave it,” he says, and Janus does, tucking the sodden handkerchief away, “it’s hardly the first wine we’ve spilled tonight.”

The visiting prince has a booming laugh that makes Janus’s ears hurt. “Are you saying I can’t hold my wine?”

“I made no such observation, my friend, only that the table is clearly benefitting from your generosity, as do all your people.”

The hall rings in an uproar of laughter and Janus smiles politely. He watches the mysterious servant stand up, heading back along the wall toward the other end of the room, and just manages to catch sight of the concealed sheath he’d felt when they’d bumped into each other.

Shit.

One skill he knows he needs to work on is his ability to look around frantically while pretending he’s not frantic about anything at all. But he’s not sure how many people are looking at him right now—and he can always try to pass it off as being flustered at the spilled wine—and he needs to find the Spymaster sooner rather than later.

Luckily, he catches sight of a swirling black cloak near one of the pillars at the far door and the purple eyes beneath. He looks at the Spymaster, glances at the servant, and back. He’s too far away to make out whatever minute expressions might pass across his face, but he sees the slight nod and the way he turns to watch too.

Great. I’m not the only one looking.

It’s a good thing too, when the servant vanishes from his sight into the mass of people amidst the feast. He catches sight of someone who might be them every so often, but without craning his neck and making it very obvious he’s looking for someone, he can’t do anything but peer around the crowd.

The prince catches him looking once, silently raising an eyebrow. Janus shakes his head subtly, morphing his expression into one of bemused wonder, and the prince smiles and turns back around.

The hairs don’t go down.

The moon is high in the sky when the visiting prince raises his goblet, stumbling slightly from the head table down into the well of the court, turning to face them. The Prince stands too, smiling, holding his own goblet aloft.

“To the future,” the other prince says as the rest of the knights rise—his knights, Janus realizes, not theirs—“to the wonders of two kingdoms, and to Prince Roman!”

“You’re too kind, my friend,” the prince says as the servant comes up behind him.

Janus moves before he can think about it.

The servant lets out a muffled cry as he forces the dagger from their hand. It clatters to the floor. Prince Roman turns and Janus is already between him and the knights drawing their swords.

He sets his weight and lets his training take over.

Parry. Block. Thrust. Push. Keep them away from the Prince. Wound, don’t kill. Just hold them off long enough for the others to arrive.

A flash of silver out of the corner of his eye and his arm moves on instinct—

The dead knight falls to the floor with a thud.

He hears the roar of footsteps and the rest of their knights surround him, forming a protective wall around the prince. They have the others at sword point, forced down or against a wall. The blood pounds in Janus’s ears as the Prince slowly sets down his goblet.

Janus doesn’t hear the words that are exchanged. He only sees the people who get carted off towards the cells, the servants who quickly come to clear away the feast, and the knights who help him usher everyone away to safety. The world is a blur of candlelight and worried voices, of muffled cries and soft touches, of whispers and looks as he moves through the castle.

He does not stop moving until he is back at the prince’s side in the war council room, standing patiently as the rest of the council assembles.

People are talking. The meeting has started. Right, they have to figure out what to do in the aftermath of an assassination attempt. There was an attempt on the prince’s lift at the feast., The people behind it are sitting in the cells right now. The treaty…what about the treaty? They’re talking about the treaty. Janus can’t hear any of the words. There are words being spoken. He can’t hear any of them. Why can’t he hear any of them?

“Janus.”

He turns. The Spymaster looks at him. He nods toward the door.

”You noticed the assassin before anyone else,” he says, “how?”

“I didn’t recognize them.”

“This is a castle of hundreds of servants. How did you know that they weren’t just another one? Or that they were part of the retinue brought?”

“They didn’t move like a servant.”

The Spymaster is quiet for a moment, then a slow smile spreads across his face. “You’re going to be very good at this.”

“At what, sire?”

“Surviving.”

“And of course, we mustn’t forget to thank your knight,” one of the lords says, and they both turn back to the tables, “without his quick reflexes and skill with a blade, I dare say this council would be having a very different conversation.”

Heat comes to his face but it feels distant. He nods his head in as much of a bow as he can do right now. “Thank you, My Lord.”

On a few of the faces, though, he sees the familiar guarded suspicion. His hand trembles.

”I can’t imagine that was their first plan,” another says, clearly continuing the conversation that had been going on when Janus was unable to hear anything, “it seemed far too rushed.”

“Perhaps that has something to do with why a jug of wine was spilled earlier in the evening,” the Spymaster says wryly, glancing at Janus.

The lord breathes in sharply. “Poison?”

“It would make sense.”

“It’s probably been cleaned by now, no doubt,” yet another lord says, “we won’t know for sure.”

Janus reaches into his breastplate and pulls out the handkerchiefs. The Spymaster’s eyes widen for only a moment before he chuckles low in his throat.

”You’ve been paying attention, haven’t you?”

“I’ve been trying, sire.” He inclines his head toward the prince, who watches him with a mix of disbelief and something Janus sin’s coherent enough to name right now. “The prince is a very good teacher.”

”I have a wonderful student,” the prince replies, before his expression turns firm and he stands up taller. “Take that to the alchemist, see what she can determine.”

“As you say.”

“The rest of you are dismissed. We will see what we can determine in the morning.”

The chamber slowly empties with the last of the murmurings. The Spymaster is the last to leave, giving both of them another nod before vanishing into the shadows. The door closes with a low thud as Janus turns back to the prince, awaiting instruction.

As soon as the door closes, the prince sighs. He leans on the table, his head bowed. For long seconds, he hardly moves.

“I was a fool to believe this treaty would bring a true peace,” he says lowly, and Jnaus’s chest twists at how defeated he sounds, “wasn’t I?”

“Believing in people isn’t foolish, My Lord.”

The prince raises his head slowly with a quiet scoff. Something flickers across his face again, too obscured by shadow to be named, before he looks up at Janus.

“You saved my life tonight, Janus.”

Janus swallows and bows slightly. “Just doing my duty, My Lord.”

Another scoff, this one closer to a huff of laughter. He looks at him for another moment before straightening up and sighing. “Come, let’s retire for the night. I think we’ve had far too much excitement.”

Janus bows his head and falls automatically in step behind the prince as they walk through the halls. They both nod to the guards stationed outside the prince’s rooms and the door closes behind him. He moves automatically to help the prince with his finery but he’s stopped with a gentle hand.

“I don’t doubt whatever was put in that wine was meant to be ingested to be lethal,” the prince says, “but sodden plate is uncomfortable whether it’s poisoned or not.”

Janus nods, going to undo his armor, only for the prince to move behind him and deftly undo the straps before he can reach for them. He blinks in surprise. The pauldron almost falls from his hands before he can catch it, fumbling with his gauntlets.

“Here, give it to me. Thank you.”

“M-My Lord, I—“ the prince gives him a look— “Roman, Roman, I can—I can do this myself, you needn’t—“

Roman just takes off the other pauldron and ruffles his hair. He does not squawk, squawking is unbecoming of the Prince’s Knight, and he does not yelp. Yelping is for dogs.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve actually heard you make that noise.”

His cheeks burn in embarrassment as they take off the rest of his armor, leaving him in a wine-damp under tunic. Roman turns around from setting out the armor and winces at the splotch across his chest.

“Do you want to get out of that too?”

“It’s fine, I can help with—“

“Surprisingly enough, I’m pretty wine-free.” Roman spreads his arms to demonstrate, then gestures to the door. “It’s okay, I’m capable of undressing myself in the time it takes you to switch to something that isn’t covered in wine.”

Janus just nods and heads for the door. His own chambers are lit with only a single candle on the bedside table. The faint smell of the wine tugs at his nose as he pulls the tunic over his head. He throws it in the laundry basket and goes to pull a fresh one from the chest when he moves a little too close to the flame.

He stops.

He must have squeezed the tunic when he was taking it off. There’s a slick of liquid across his hand. It gleams in the dancing fire. It’s dark. The poison rakes itself across his nose again. It burns. His hand turns upwards to face him, drops of it rolling thickly across his palm.

He just killed a man.

It was to save the Prince’s life. It was in self-defense. It was his duty. It was on instinct. It was only after he’d wounded them and they didn’t stop. It was—it was—it was—

A quiet knock on the door and a soft call of his name. He turns toward it slightly, but the candlelight flashes across the dark streak and he freezes.

“Janus,” he hears again, much closer, and then a hand is cupping his and pulling it away, “come, here…”

Something soft brushes against his skin and he almost startles from it. It does it again—a cloth, that’s what it is, just a cloth—and Roman cleans his hand carefully until the wine is gone. That’s all it was, after all, just wine.

He was that fucking stressed over some fucking wine?

“Come,” Roman says softly, cutting through the tirade, “let’s get you into something more comfortable.”

Hands take him gently by the shoulders and walk him over to the bed. He’s sat on the edge as Roman takes one of his nightshirts and bids him to raise his arms. He does, letting out a small breath as the cool fabric settles over him.

He shouldn’t be doing this, part of him thinks faintly, shouldn’t be sitting here while the prince dresses him like a babe. But everything is behind a roar of nothingness and Roman is still speaking to him softly.

“This is going to be the hard part.”

“The hard part?”

Roman nods. “It’s time to decompress.”

He furrows his brow. “Decompress?”

“Yes. Time to get out of the state where it’s life and death and turn your battle reflexes off so you can safely process what just happened.” Roman’s hand covers his shoulder. It feels warm. “Look at me.”

Janus tilts his chin up.

“Can you tell me what happened tonight? Not as a knight giving me a report,” he says as Janus opens his mouth, “just you. Just you tell me what happened.”

Janus closes his mouth. He opens it again. He closes it again. Roman doesn’t say a word, just waits patiently until Janus can get himself together. Or, not get himself together. He’s not supposed to be giving a report. He’s just—what is he supposed to do?

“Take your time.”

“I was guarding you at the feast,” he says. “There was a servant I didn’t recognize. I…bumped into them?”

Roman nods encouragingly, the hand on his shoulder rubbing back and forth.

”They, um, they spilled wine all over me. I told—I tried to tell the Spymaster that I thought there was something wrong because they had a dagger.” He swallows. “They—they came back when the other prince was giving a toast. They tried to stab you and I stopped them, but then the other knights started to attack you so I tried to keep them away. Then I—“

Wine. Red wine in candlelight.

“Then,” Roman prompts softly, “then what?”

“I—“

The words stick in his throat. They stain it until they run down to his chest. They spread over the pale skin covering his heart. He chokes.

Roman’s hand slides up to cup the side of his head, giving him a gentle shake to regain his focus. “Say it,” he bids gently, “say it, Janus.”

“I…killed someone,” he whispers.

Roman nods. “Yes. You killed someone.”

He killed someone. He killed someone.

“Stay with me now,” comes the soft voice as the hand tightens ever so slightly, “there you are. Hey, hey, just look at me. Look at me, only me.”

Roman’s face swims as he tries desperately to listen. The wine—the wine—

“It’s over now,” Roman whispers, too gentle for someone who just killed a man, “it’s over. We’re in your chambers. It’s just you and me. You won’t hurt me and I won’t hurt you.”

“I—“

What does he say? Does he say he’s sorry? For what? He’s not sorry he saved the Prince’s life. He’s not sorry he defended him. He’s not sorry he did his duty. He’s not sorry that he did it, but should he be? Should he be sorry? He’s going to be sick. Should he be sick?

“Hey,” Roman murmurs, and when Janus blinks he’s on his knees, cupping his head in both hands, “what do you need right now?”

What does he need?

He needs to clean his armor. He needs to make sure the sample got to the alchemist. He needs to clean the blood off his sword. He needs to hang his sword up and never touch it again. He needs to pick it up right now. He needs to scrub his hand clean. He needs to wash his tunic. He needs to wash his soul. He needs his soul. He needs his father. He needs no one. He needs everyone. He needs—

“Help. H-help.” His lip wobbles like a child’s. “Help.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he hears, and then he’s bundled against something big and warm and soft and he’s being moved, “come here…come here, Janus, come here.”

He’s crying. Is he crying? His lungs feel like they’re on fire. His face hurts. His head hurts. His face is tucked against something soft. There is something around him. There are two somethings around him. There’s a heartbeat thudding underneath his ear. That’s Roman’s. Roman’s heartbeat. Roman’s alive. Roman’s alive because he saved him. He saved him. He killed a man to save him.

Oh, god—

Roman just holds him through it. They’re cuddled up in the middle of Janus’s too-big bed, his hand carding through Janus’s hair, the other wrapped snugly around his waist. If Janus had the wherewithal to be ashamed of having the prince cuddle him like a baby, he’s sure it would kill him. But all his brain can think of is soft-warm-safe-hold-Roman-safe-safe-safe-oh-god-Roman-warm—

The night slips away to sobs and candlelight.

He has no idea what time it is. He doesn’t know how long ago he stopped crying. He’s still in Roman’s arms, drifting through a dull grey haze, the world prickling at the very edges of his awareness as the heartbeat thuds comfortingly under his cheek. He thinks he might be close to asleep.

Far away there’s a knock on the door. Equally far is Roman’s voice saying come in.

“How Is he?” Spymaster, his distant brain recognizes.

“Shaken,” Roman murmurs, “as is to be expected.”

The Spymaster hums, footsteps drawing closer. “He noticed before anyone else.”

“Of course he did. God knows his instincts were going haywire the whole night.”

“You noticed?”

“He didn’t eat or drink anything until three servants had to tell him it was alright.” The hand cards through his hair again. “And then…well.”

The Spymaster hums again. After a pause, a shadow falls over Janus’s face and the voice is far closer. “Seventeen, hm?”

“Yes.” Roman’s chest moves as he sighs. “I’m torn. I’m…relieved is not the right word. But his first kill came now, when he’s still trying to learn how to turn everything off. In some way, perhaps it’s better.”

“But he’s still a child.”

Another sigh and the distant voice grows terribly sad. “Yes. Yes, he is.”

“He’s not what I expected.” At Roman’s questioning hum, the bed dips under the Spymaster’s weight. “I was expecting the cockiness we normally get from the new ones. Or the starry-eyed idiots.”

“Don’t call my knights idiots, Virgil.”

“Well, it’s what they are.” Roman huffs but doesn’t deny it. “This one’s almost as bad at pretending to be asleep than they were.”

With great effort, Janus drags his eyes open. The Spymaster smiles at him, which is weird, tilting his head a bit so Janus doesn’t have to sit up at all.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says quietly, “you look comfortable.”

Roman chuckles, adjusting his grip when Janus shifts. “He’s teasing, Janus, you’re alright.”

Janus swallows. His tongue feels like leather. “Is…is everything…okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” When Janus doesn’t say anything, the Spymaster sighs. “Don’t be a knight for the rest of tonight, okay? Just be a boy and let Roman look after you.”

“…but…”

A soft chuckle from Roman draws his attention. “I’ve just had my diplomatic efforts over the better part of a year blow up in my face. Please, let me do something right.”

“You have to let him,” the Spymaster stage-whispers, sounding much more like a mischievous child than, you know, the Spymaster, “he’s a menace when his pride is wounded.”

Despite himself, a soft huff of laughter escapes him and he can feel the way Roman relaxes. The Spymaster smiles and stands up.

“You did very well today, Janus,” he says, bowing his head slightly, “now, rest.”

“‘M not good at that.”

“Roman can teach you, he’s an excellent sloth.”

“If I wasn’t cuddling Janus right now, I’d show you how good of a sloth I am.”

The Spymaster just grins and bids them a proper goodnight, closing the door behind him. Janus’s eyes grow heavy once more.

“You can sleep,” Roman whispers, encouraging him to roll into a more comfortable position, “I won’t mind.”

”…you’re sure?”

He’s rolled onto his stomach, head pillowed just below Roman’s chin. Roman guides him to look up, a slightly rueful smile on his face.

“You’ve saved my life,” he says gently, “the least I can do is help you get to sleep.”

”I still don’t think I’m going to be very good at it.”

“You were dozing off in my arms a moment ago, what happened?” Roman shakes his head and bids him to lie back down, get comfortable. “Follow my breathing, okay? Just try and stay with me.”

The two of them slip slowly to sleep as the night closes protectively over them.

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