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[danthropologie]

DANIEL RICCIARDO | Pre-Race, Mexico City GP 2023

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 5

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut Warning

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Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “You couldn’t stop thinking about apologizing or kissing me?"

On Wednesday, I awoke when my alarm went off. Did I sleep through his alarms today? I must have been out of it. I was hot and sweaty. I felt like I had been dreaming but couldn’t recall what it was about. I groggily headed toward the shower. I stood under the hot shower stream longer than I probably should have before I started to wash my hair. I was moving slowly through my entire routine. I felt like I had a mild hangover and was not looking forward to the workday. 

As I was digging through my clothes, I realized all the undergarments that I had left were a little too sexy in nature and not the most comfortable. I silently cursed myself for letting Lauren help me pack, even though me doing it alone most likely would have resulted in a panic attack. I sighed to myself, settling on a lacy white set that was the least offensive, then I got dressed. Today it was black fitted high waisted palazzo pants that zipped up the back, a matching blazer, and light pink sleeveless blouse with a lace trimmed white Cami underneath. I pulled my straightened hair back into my usual low bun. I actually felt cute today. The pants hugged me in all the right places and gave me a little confidence boost that helped improve my mood. I was barely ready on time and had to hurry downstairs to meet Joe. As usual, he met me with coffee and scone in hand. I was thankful for it this morning. 

I was surprised to not find Megan waiting for me when I arrived. I momentarily wondered if I would have any issues entering the building, but once I reached the security checkpoint, they told me to go through without checking my bag or requiring that I go through the metal detector. All I could do was shake my head as I walked toward the elevator. 

When the elevator doors opened to the correct floor, Megan was standing there, looking very impatient. I smiled at her as I exited the elevator and asked if everything was ok. 

“Yes, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to meet you this morning. I was just on my way down. I was having some trouble getting the printer moved to the secondary conference room for you.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I don’t expect you to meet me every morning. I think I can find my way now.” I gave her a reassuring smile, hoping it might help her relax some. 

“So today should be fun. I am going to start running data checks. There is a possibility I may need a second set of eyes or hands.”

“Sounds good. I’m really excited about this part. I am curious to see how all this works. I think it’s fascinating.”

“Well, I think you may be the first to ever say that. Most people want no part of it.” 

Megan led me to the secondary conference room that required ID scan entry. It was a large space that housed an executive style table that took up most of the room, but it was all slightly smaller than the first one we met in. I started getting set up and laid some of my paperwork out across the table. There was a method to my madness that did unfortunately involve killing some trees. I am a very visual person, so a lot of the time it helps me to lay things out instead of switching between multiple windows on a small laptop screen. 

My first step was to start running some of the unaltered data download spreadsheets through a program that compared data from multiple servers and also checked for data irregularities and notable patterns. It could be a slow and tedious process depending on the size of the data load and looking at the past six years’ worth of information was a lot. 

About two and a half hours in, while processing the financial data, something caught my attention. During each payment period, there was always one account outlier in the losses column. The same account never had consecutive losses within that range. I suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, convinced this could be something. 

I pulled up the profit and loss statement report pdfs that I had reviewed earlier in the week. It hadn’t been completely obvious to me at that point because of the way they were presented. I hit print. Once they were finished printing, I called for Megan to bring some tape and to come assist me. I had her sort them out by year. Then I asked her to hang them on the wall alphabetically by account name then in the order of the month and date. I also had her highlight the outliers on each report. She initially looked at me like I was crazy but didn’t question it. She did as I asked. I alternated between helping her and setting more data to run through my software. By the time we were finished, almost all four walls were completely covered in these reports. I stood back, staring at them. Trying to figure out how to piece it all together. 

I grabbed a pen and started writing large visible numbers on the reports in the order that the outliers occurred. There was one full cycle of the spike in losses for each account. No repeats. I stepped back again, staring at it with a half grin on my face while shaking my head. 

“Megan, would you mind letting Mr. Carrington know that I will not be available for lunch today please. I think I’ve just found something that needs my attention.”    

Megan looked at me, wide-eyed. She nodded before walking out of the room. She returned several minutes later, eager to help. We both went through numbering each cycle for the outliers. It was the same every time. One full cycle through the accounts with no repeats before it started over. However, each cycle had a different order.

I sat down in a rolling chair, turning in circles to look around the room. What now? There had to be more. I leaned my head back as I rubbed my hands down my face, trying to think. Megan excused herself to go grab our lunch delivery. I figured this might be a good time to take a bathroom break. When I rounded the corner walking to the bathroom, I passed Jay Brooks. He gave me a polite hello but didn’t stop to chat. His demeanor seemed off. I had a suspicious feeling about him.

When I got back from the bathroom, Megan had returned with our lunch. As soon as I walked toward her, she leaned into me while looking around slightly paranoid. She started speaking quietly.  

“So, it may be nothing, but when I was coming back, I saw Mr. Brooks attempting to swipe into this room. He never uses this room for anything.”   

“That is interesting indeed. Let’s get back to work.” 

We both ate while we stared at the walls. There was something about the changes in the numbers. 

“I think I have an idea,” I said rather loudly as I dropped my food down on the table, causing Megan to jump. I grabbed my laptop and made a copy of the financial data spreadsheet. I quickly removed all the losses marked as outliers and moved those over to another excel tab. I went through and got the average losses for each year. Then, I went to the other tab and deducted those corresponding year’s average from each of the outliers. What I was left with literally had me bursting out in laughter. 

“What a fucking idiot.”

“What is it?” 

“When I account for the average losses across all accounts for that year and minor fluctuations, then subtract them from these outliers, I get basically the same difference for each account. These first two years, it’s a one-point five percent spike. It went up to two percent for a few years and it’s now holding steady at two-point five percent each time one spikes. It’s statistically impossible for that to be happening naturally for that many accounts.”

I wasn’t sure if Megan followed any of that. It was a lot to process. She just stared at me, wide-eyed before speaking. 

“So, what you're saying is, someone is skimming a specific percentage from one account at a time on a rotation? Which would cause a spike in the losses, right?”

“You got it. He got greedy and started raising that percentage which made it even more obvious this last little bit. I can’t believe the accountant didn’t catch this.”

“I don’t think the accountant checked all the accounts because there are so many. He randomly picked them and asked for that specific data.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Megan gave me a serious look as she shook her head. That would most likely be why it wasn’t caught. 

Now I had proof that malicious activity was happening, I just had to figure out how. I quickly looked back through all the audit trails relating to Mr. Brook’s accounts. There was nothing there. Everything looked legitimate. 

“Can you ask the head of the IT department if he is available to see me, please?”

“Of course,” Megan said as she went to make the call. 

Several minutes later, I knocked on Sam’s door. He called out for me to come in. I inquired about who has access to the mainframe and about security for that room. Sam said there were currently no cameras pointing directly at the entry door to that room, but there were some on adjoining hallways. 

I realized there are also bathrooms on the same hallway as that space, so it would be hard to say definitively that someone was going into the mainframe room based on the camera footage. 

I then had Sam pull up a list of IP addresses that had accessed specific data files on the mainframe, he noted that it was only the mainframe workstation listed to run scheduled automated jobs, most being done late in the evening.  

“Sam, who has access to the mainframe workstation?”

“Technically, all the Senior level staff. Their ID card will get them in the room, and they have the admin credentials.” 

“Seriously? Why?” I didn’t even give him a chance to answer before continuing.

“You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter at this point. Can you get me room access information for the last six months and the automated job schedules by tomorrow please? 

“Of course, I can. Anything else?”

“No, that’s it for now. Thank you.”

I left Sam’s office and walked back to the secondary conference room. I found Mr. Carrington and Megan there. Mr. Carrington’s face showed confusion as he looked around the room. I started to walk him through today’s discoveries, his confusion turned to aww. He said that he was impressed with my unconventional methods. Laughing as he looked around the room.

“I don’t want to leave this up overnight in case someone gets in here,” he stated. 

“Of course. I had planned to take pictures and shred everything before I leave.”

“I’ll let you get to it then. Megan, please help her dispose of this after she’s done.”

Megan gave a slight nod as I moved to pull out my high-definition professional camera from my bag. I methodically started taking pictures of small sections of the walls. As I would finish with one section, Megan would pull them down and shred them. We finished just as it was time to call it quits for the day. She and I were both feeling worn out as the adrenaline started to wear off, but we were still excited by what we had accomplished. We said our goodbyes, then I headed downstairs to meet Joe. 

It was close to six when Joe pulled up in front of the hotel. I felt giddy from today’s discoveries and anxious to see Dieter. Joe parked the car and opened my door, giving me his usual spiel. I quickly made my way inside and grabbed the back corner booth in the restaurant. I took off my blazer as I sat down because I was feeling hot suddenly. Bartender Tim made his way over and asked what I would be having. I asked for some mozzarella sticks and opted for a fruity mixed drink rather than wine and water. I had a good day, so I was feeling something a little extra. I pulled out my laptop to work on my report and looked through a few more datasets while I waited. 

About forty-five minutes later, Dieter came in through the front entrance. I didn’t even have to see him to know. I could literally feel him. I looked up as he was walking into the restaurant. Our eyes focused on each other. The biggest smile spread across his face as he approached the booth. He was wearing dark colored jeans and a fitted white t-shirt, both of which were hugging him in ways that should be illegal. His hair was messy, hanging down over his forehead and he was wearing the black rimmed glasses. He was also still sporting just a hint of facial hair. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to control myself. The glasses were taking it over the top. He looked like he had had a good day. Hopefully that meant he got the news he had been waiting for. 

He slid into the booth, still smiling with the sweetest look on his face. His energy was infectious. He turned to face me, took a deep breath, and said, “I got the part!”

I did a little clap, and I stomped my feet simultaneously. I was excited for him. I leaned toward him and gave him a side hug and a small rub on his back as I said congratulations. Yeah, I was shamelessly flirting with this guy again. Clearly, I was already feeling the effects from my mixed drink. 

He put in his order with bartender Tim. He too ordered a mixed drink and another round of mozzarella sticks. He asked how my day had gone and I shared the new developments. Excited that I was finally on to something. He was full of questions and wanted to know every little detail as to how I had figured things out. He finished his drink off quickly as he listened.  

“I think you literally just blew my mind. You’re too fucking smart.” he said with a laugh and shook his head in disbelief as he leaned back against the booth. 

“Not really, the computer does most of the work for me. The rest is just recognizing patterns and reasoning.” I said, taking another sip of my drink. 

“However, please feel free to continue to stroke my ego. I won’t argue too much.”

His eyes met mine and he continued to chuckle at my response. There was a look in his eyes that was unreadable. We sat staring at each other for a moment. His eyes briefly dropped down to my mouth as I bit my bottom lip, then down to his drink. He adjusted in his seat. Then, rubbed his left thumb across his bottom lip and down the side of his face before resting it on his right shoulder, giving it a small squeeze as he exhaled. I continued to look at him a moment longer. He looked slightly flushed. The energy between us had shifted. It was electric. At that moment, I knew tonight was going to be interesting and I was one hundred percent on board with it. I basically gave up any sense of control I was holding on to. It was one of my few “fuck it” moments that I was probably going to regret, and again, I didn’t event care.

I interrupted the silence, “We should get a shot to celebrate. We both had success today.” 

He laughed at my enthusiasm and agreed. I slid out of the booth and asked him what he wanted. He opted for a shot of whisky. I walked up to the bar to get Tim’s attention and asked for two shots of whisky. As I waited, I could see Dieter’s reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He definitely looked me up and down, then quickly looked away. The pants I wore today were a good choice I thought to myself as bartender Tim passed me the shots.  

I sat back down with the drinks; we clinked the glasses together before downing them. We continued chatting for a while about anything and everything. Movies, books, music, all the typical topics. Playfully arguing with each other when we disagreed on something. Both of us sneaking in brief touches here and there. I had shifted to face him in the booth, with my leg bent up on the seat. He kept touching my thigh when he would laugh about something I said. Even giving a gentle squeeze occasionally. It was taking my mind to places it shouldn’t be. I could feel the tension between us building. 

Around ten o’clock, my phone buzzed on the table. It was Lauren. One short message asking how tonight went. I didn’t answer. She was going to be pissed at me. I looked at the time.

“Oh, it's nearly ten o’clock. Geez, that was fast. I guess they’ll be closing soon.”

I sat my phone back on the table. Feeling disappointed. Dieter looked a little disappointed too. 

“Time flies when you're having fun I guess,” he said as he finished off his latest drink. I finished off mine too. We settled our bill, then we both stood, making sure we had all our things. I grabbed a mozzarella stick and stuck it in my mouth as I walked in front of him toward the exit. He started laughing at me and shaking his head. I wasn’t completely drunk, but I still had a good buzz going at this point. Completely at ease and enjoying myself. I hadn’t really been like this in years. It was kind of nice to let loose if I was being honest.

We both got on the elevator. Being in such close quarters had my nerve endings on fire while the smell of his cologne wafted around me. My head felt foggy. It took us a minute to realize that neither of us had hit the number for our floor. We looked at each other and started laughing as he reached over to hit the number 9. He backed into the corner next to me, our arms touching. The elevator jerked as it started its ascent, causing me to stumble on my unsteady feet and fall against him. The length of our bodies touching as he caught me from falling. We both froze momentarily. I looked up at him to give my apologies, but no words left my mouth. My eyes dropped to his lips. He leaned in halfway and stopped with a questioning look on his face. I closed the distance between us and kissed him. I reached up and put my hands on the back of his neck, giving his hair a little tug as we both deepened the kiss. His hands tightened around my waist, pulling me in closer.

We broke apart when the elevator dinged, and the doors opened. Staring at each other, wide-eyed. I think we were both in shock over what just happened. I gave him a shy smile and walked past him down the hallway toward my suite. My fingers over my lips the whole way. The heat from his lips, still present. I could feel him following closely behind me. I caught his reflection in the glass of a picture frame at the end of the hall as we approached our suites. He had his hands in his pockets and was watching me with a hint of a smile on his face.    

We reached his door first. I took a deep breath before I turned around to tell him good night. He was looking at me intently. His eyes were unreadable. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something but stopped. He reached up to push a stray piece of hair out of my face that had fallen loose at some point and then smiled. 

“I should be free tomorrow evening if you want to hang out again…I know it’s your last day here, so feel free to tell me no, if you have other plans.”

I smiled, “No, no other plans. I’ll be right here. In the hotel, I mean.”

My eyes shifted down, realizing my brain was failing me as he kept looking at me. All I could think about doing was dragging him into my room. I shook my head to clear it and smiled, telling him good night and that I would see him the following day. Reaching out to squeeze his hand as I said it. Then I turned and walked to my door without looking back. It was a second before I heard his key card in the lock. I caught a glimpse of his back as he entered his suite. 

I walked into my suite, setting my things down on the couch. I stood in place for a minute. Staring at nothing as I tried to process what happened. I decided to get ready for bed and try to decompress. I pulled my blouse and shoes off, then walked into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. I took my hair down. It fell in soft dark waves around my shoulders. I stared at myself in the mirror, noticing that my pupils were dilated. I laughed at myself. This was absurd. I could not believe how I had acted this evening. It was a sobering moment and I felt like I was past whatever had come over me by that point. I just needed to be away from him to gather my thoughts. 

As I was digging through my suitcase for some pajamas, I heard a light knock on the door. I stood there for a moment, confused. It didn’t sound like it was the main door. Another knock. It was at the door adjoining mine and Dieter’s suites. My stomach did a flip once I realized it. 

I walked into the bedroom and opened my side. Dieter was standing there, with his arm propped on the door frame above his head. He was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. Skin showing just below the hem of his shirt from where his arm was raised. My eyes lingered there before meeting his. I was certain that he noticed. He took his arm down and rubbed his thumb down the side of his lips as he hesitated to speak, eyeing me. I leaned on the opposite side of the door frame waiting for him to say something. 

“I’m sorry, I-I.. shouldn’t have bothered you. I…just wanted to apologize for earlier. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and…”

“You couldn’t’ stop thinking about apologizing or kissing me?”

He stopped, realizing what he had said. He was trying to read my face, looking for the correct answer. I wasn’t giving him anything to go by. I wanted to know what he was really thinking. 

He hesitated, “I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you. I have been all week.”

He braced for my response. His eyebrows knitted together with a determined, but worried look. His chocolate eyes searched my face. That was all I needed to hear. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me. Our lips crashed together. He took a few steps toward me as I put my back flat against the wall. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me up against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running a hand through his hair and again tugging it gently. He groaned into my mouth, and I could feel his excitement pressing against me. Any control that I thought I regained over myself was gone. 

I lowered my hands to the hem of his shirt, tugging to pull it off. He stopped kissing me to pull it over his head. My eyes took him in. His torso was toned but not overly muscular. His shoulders were broader than I realized and his arms well defined. He pulled me back to him. His hands were in my hair, then he reached down to pull my Cami off. He briefly stopped, “Is this ok?” he whispered before continuing. I let out a breathy yes, reminding myself to thank Lauren later for throwing in the sexy bra and panty sets even though I cursed her for it earlier in the day. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he kissed down my neck, lifting me off the floor slightly to walk toward the bed. After he placed me back on the ground, I reached down to palm him through his shorts, and he groaned into my mouth again. He reached for the front of my pants, not finding what he was looking for. He pulled away for a minute, looking down. 

“How the hell do you get these things off?”

I started laughing as I turned around tugging at the zipper. He grabbed my hips, clearly admiring the view for a moment before trying to help me undo the zipper. In my haste to pull it down, I got it caught on the fabric. We both started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“Fuck it. Rip them.” I said through my exasperated laughs.

“This might as well be a damn chastity belt,” he said through his laughter as he gave a good tug, pulling me backward slightly. 

The zipper finally popped loose. He sighed in relief as he pulled my back against his chest. Pulling my hair out of the way to kiss down my neck. I grinded my backside into him as he went to stick his hand down the front of my pants. Again, he paused asking if it was ok before continuing. I managed to squeak out another yes. He continued, rubbing my sensitive area, and feeling the wetness that was forming. My entire body was electrified. Honestly, I hadn’t felt this aroused or alive in years. Clearly, I had been missing out. 

He pulled his hand out and slid my pants and panties down my legs. Then he moved to undo my bra, sliding it down my arms slowly. I turned around and reached for his shorts, but hesitated. I felt like I was in foreign territory. I hadn’t been with anyone but my ex-husband in so long. I started to doubt myself and I was unsure of how to do this. Damn my intrusive thoughts. 

He caught my eyes with his, sensing my hesitation. 

“We can stop if…”

“No, I just haven’t done this in a while. I feel a little out of practice.” I gave a half smile and a one shoulder shrug.  

He reached for my face, kissing me gently.

“I think you are doing perfectly fine. Just don’t think about that.”

As his chocolate brown eyes stared into mine, I felt my confidence return and pulled his shorts down. He didn’t have anything underneath. I glanced down. He was definitely excited and above average in size, I assumed anyway. I didn’t have a lot to compare to. He pulled me back to him and started kissing me again. Geez, he was such a good kisser. I was never one for making out in the past, but the way his tongue moved with mine was igniting a blaze in me. I couldn’t get enough of him. I reached down and started stroking him. He sucked in air through his teeth, leaning his head back at the feeling.

I paused and his eyes snapped to mine. Concern etched his face. 

“Do you have a condom? I’m… I’m not on anything…”

He paused before answering me, like he was trying to decide how to answer. 

“I-I had a vasectomy…but I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time.” 

He looked apprehensive while he waited for my response. Honestly, I was a little shocked. It wasn’t the response I was expecting. I would have to pack that away to process later. 

“Oh...ok then. Me too. I mean, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time either.” I said, shaking my head up and down. 

I could see the relief on his face. We gave each other awkward smiles and I started kissing him again. I was determined to be in the moment and not in my head worrying about every little detail. 

Dieter backed me up to the bed. When it hit the back of my legs, I sat down and started to crawl backwards. He followed, hovering over me and kissing as we went. Once I settled, he was everywhere. Kissing, sucking, and touching every inch of me. He started working his way down and paused as he felt me tense. 

“You don’t have to do that,” I said as I grasped onto his hand. He looked at me with questioning eyes. 

“It’s just…that’s never really done anything for me.” 

“Then clearly someone didn’t know what they were doing. Relax and let me have a go at it.”

He gave me a mischievous grin and started sucking on the inside of my thigh. I gave him a small smile and nodded for him to continue. 

As soon as he put his mouth on me, a loud moan escaped my lips. Maybe he was right. It didn’t take long for me to reach my peak. It was easily the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced. A high that I had never reached.

Dieter crawled back up to hover over me, looking pleased with himself. 

“Ok, you were right. Someone didn’t know what they were doing.”

He laughed at my declaration as I started to kiss him again. I could taste myself on him. We grinded against each other. After a moment, he reached down to line himself up at my entrance. He paused looking at me for permission. I resumed kissing him and bucked my hips up for him to continue. He went slow at first, giving me the chance to adjust to his size. 

Once we got into a rhythm, we were fueled by pure need. Our bodies saying what our words failed to. We couldn’t get enough of each other. Our hands and lips were everywhere, sucking and caressing. My entire body felt like it was burning with want. It had never been like this for me before. I gave myself over completely. I could feel that familiar burn building again as I climaxed for a second time that evening. Dieter nipped my jawline and kissed down my neck as I arched my back through it. Once I started to come down, he grabbed my leg, just behind my knee and raised it to change the angle. I could feel the burn building again as my muscles started to contract around him for the third time. 

“I’m about to…” he trailed off through his heavy breathing. He placed his forehead against mine and I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist while we both tensed from our releases. 

He sat there unmoving for several minutes. We both attempted to get our breathing under control in between the deep sensual kisses we shared. We were both covered in sweat and trembling from the exertion. He rubbed his nose against mine and gave me one last peck on the lips before he rolled off to lay beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. 

“That was…unexpected,” he said once his breathing had calmed down. 

“It was. I’m not complaining.” 

Dieter laughed while he twirled my hair in his fingers. 

“I think I need something to drink,” I said as I laid there, unmoving. He moved to get up, agreeing that he did too. I told him I had water in the fridge. I shamelessly admired his backside as he walked out of the room. 

He came back quickly, turning all the lights off as he went. He handed me a bottle of water then pulled the blanket back and climbed in covering us both up. We both downed a significant amount of water before setting the bottles on the nightstands. He scooted down in the bed onto his left side and pulled me over to him. My back to his chest. He wrapped his right arm around me with his left bent back under his head and nuzzled his face into my hair. I laced my fingers into his right hand, pulling his arm tighter around me while our legs tangled together. 

For the first time in a long time, I felt content. I felt safe and unjudged. I decided I would let myself enjoy the moment and worry about consequences later. I just wanted to be happy and without worry for once. Even if it was only for one night. 

I noticed his breathing shifted to slow, steady breaths. He had fallen asleep. I further relaxed into the warmth of his embrace, letting sleep take me too. 

At some point in the middle of the night, I felt his foot slide down my leg, then he hugged me a little tighter. I wasn’t sure if he was awake or not. He didn’t seem to be. At least not all of him. I stretched my stiff muscles, pushing my backside into him as I did so, feeling the hardness press into me. I did a little wiggle and he groaned into my ear, burying his head into the crook of my neck. His fingers tightened in mine. He was definitely awake now. 

I turned my head toward him, our lips meeting. It was slow and sensual. His hand made its way down to my core where he started working his magic with his fingers. I was panting and reached my peak quickly. He slid his hand down to my thigh, repositioning my leg. Then he propped himself up on his left arm to position himself and enter me from behind. He laid back down, wrapping both arms around me, then began moving, very slowly. We both groaned at the feeling. This position was a new experience for me. The angle hitting pleasure spots I didn’t know existed. 

His right hand alternated between roaming my body and grasping my hip to pull me back to him.  My head was laying in the crook of his left arm, his left hand bent up, tangling in my hair while I turned to kiss him. I threaded my right hand through his hair, grasping it tightly causing a deep groan from him. He would switch between fast and slow thrust to prolong the experience. When he felt my body begin to tense, he picked up the pace and we both reached our high together, letting out pants and moans as we rode it out. 

We melted into each other as our breathing slowed. He continued to place random kisses down my neck and nuzzled back into my hair. 

“Why are you so fucking amazing.” 

It was a statement. Not a question. I laughed at him. 

“Can we just stay here, like this, and forget the rest of the world exists?” He said with his face buried in my neck. I chuckled.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 

I started lightly rubbing his right arm, which was still wrapped around me. Within minutes he was asleep again. For a minute, I dared to wonder what it would be like to wake up with him every morning. To be in a relationship with him. He was so attentive and caring. The opposite of what I had before. Is that something I was even capable of right now? Emotionally I was kind of a mess. Not to mention the psychological effects of what I had been through. I quickly dismissed that train of thought. I was getting ahead of myself. As far as I was concerned, this was just a fling. I’d most likely never see him again after this week anyway. I eventually dozed off into a deep sleep. 

A/N: More spice coming in the next chapter. 😉

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#mmbn hc land - 885 posts

#super plays mmbn - 460 posts

#megaman battle network - 339 posts

#personal - 308 posts

#crack edition - 237 posts

#lan hikari - 230 posts

#megaman.exe - 200 posts

#sth - 96 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#post game adaman and irida are like ‘’oh thank fuck’’ and resolve to act on their feelings for each other without scrutiny and repercussion

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It’s my friend @eiranerys birthday today! For the occasion I got her this ShuYuka piece commissioned by the great @iwonn-arts.

Happy birthday Julie!!! And many thanks to Iwonn for giving me such cute art!

84 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

So Frontiers demo leaks talk about Sonic finding Amy’s memories (and I assume he’ll find Tails’ memories as well); so i guess when we heard her voice in the teaser, that was actually her memory calling out to Sonic

112 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#3

Can you educate me on sonamy? Everytime i see them in canon, Sonic always tries to get away from her like he's not interested.

So Sonic and Amy's relationship is a bit more complicated than what it actually is because their interactions really do depend on the writer, but I'll give you the gist of their relationship:

Yes, Sonic is uninterested...but not in Amy. He considers Amy one of his closest friends and does care about her (you'd have to be an idiot to not see that at least)

What he's not interested in though is the idea of a commitment

Sonic is written as a free spirit, born to run wild and go on many adventures. He doesn't want to be tied down or oppressed in any way--this is the basis for his and Eggman's antagonism toward each other

Amy wants a relationship with Sonic--wants to be his girlfriend, his wife, his one and only, the whole nine yards

Amy is 12. When you're 12 with a massive crush you're gonna make declarations that you're gonna marry this dude one day and live happily ever after.

Sonic on the other hand is 15. He's your typical boy who would rather live his life on the edge than to settle. So he runs away from Amy because her love quite literally smothers him at times.

But there's a bit more to this dynamic

Amy was created to be Sonic's love interest. This is a canon fact. Sega wanted a Minnie to Sonic's Micky and thus Amy was created.

But they didn't want them to have the same dynamic as Mickey and Minnie so (iirc) Amy's creator decided that Sonic would be this shy boy who didn't know how to express his feelings for a forward girl like Amy. He has a "boy's heart" and is not ready to take that step.

He essentially confirms that Sonic does like Amy in more ways than as a friend, but he doesn't know how to act so he escapes these feelings by running.

So basically your typical schoolyard boy and girl interaction (girl likes boy, tries to kiss boy, boy freaks out and hightails it out of there)

As I stated above, Sonic and Amy's relationship depends on the writer:

The early 3D games will depict Sonic less receptive to Amy's feelings and Amy being super insistent on marrying him

Later 3D games will be kinder to them (Sonic reaching out to Amy when she doesn't recognize him as a werehog; Sonic having every intentional of going on a date with her in SatBK; etc)

Sonic X actually has Sonic confess that he loves her (IT'S MUTED BUT IT COUNTS OKAY)

Sonic Boom will give Amy a more mature personality with a secret crush on Sonic but Sonic is VERY receptive to her and hinted at feeling the same way

IDW has Amy still openly loving Sonic but clarifying that she knows and loves that Sonic is such a free spirit (she doesn't WANT to change that about him!) and Sonic actually asking her to take a break from her duties with the resistance to travel with him

Overall, despite Sega wanting Sonic to remain chaste, it's clear that Sonic and Amy are THE couple in the franchise. It's not everyone's cup of tea, and I don't fault these people for that. But to me, I adore their dynamic and am always looking forward to more food Sega gives me lmao

Hope that clears some stuff up Anon

244 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

#2

Mashima’s Response When Asked About a Jerza Kid

See the full post

296 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

God forbid some Sonic project try to expand lore for Knuckles and his Echidna ancestors without some middle-aged dude crying plagiarism and threats to sue

468 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wildestdreamsblog]

This love is good

Pairing: Soft!dark Ari Levinson x Reader

Summary: You were just trying to escape your past, and Ari was trying to chase his future.

Warnings: Soft!Dark Ari, Swearing, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: oh dear, we made it to the end. This is filled with truth bombs 🫶🏻 Next part of this will be: This love is bad. While likes are well appreciated, kindly also support your content creators by reblogging and/or leaving comments.

Masterlist

This love is good: end

He opened his door cautiously, the gun he was holding was steady in his hand. The incessant knocking on the door woke him up from his slumber. It was three in the morning, and no one should be up at this hour- except the devil. And lo and behold, it was the devil himself on the other side of the door. His boss’ eyes were cold as he looked at him.

“Lead me to her.”

Today was the day. Today was Molly and Pablo’s wedding, and the whole town was buzzing with excitement. Almost everyone pitched in to make their day the perfect one. Everyone knew Pablo’s love for Molly was unending. He had her once, and he knew in his heart, anyone else paled in comparison to her. Perhaps, the lesson that could be found on their love that was decades in the making was that you could love someone wholeheartedly, unashamedly, courageously- and still not be the right one for someone.

But that was the thing with the universe, it falls in love with the stubborn hearts.

And in Pablo’s case, the universe smiled gently at him, and finally, it was the right time for their love. You finished frosting the cake, gently placing the decorations on top of the three-tier cake. Isaac promised to help you safely deliver the cake to the location. You didn’t want to think how it was supposed to be Ari’s job, he volunteered to help you. And now, he was gone. Molly chose the beach as the place, sharing fondly how the two of them used to play their as children, used to talk for hours there as teenagers, and that was the place that witnessed their separation. She thought it was only fitting to be restored to one another in the place that witnessed their story.

You were already dressed up when Isaac came knocking sheepishly. The color of your dress brought out your eyes- your eyes that hid misery and resignation in them. You covered your face expertly with makeup, at least now you didn’t look as half-dead as you felt. You glanced at your now bare place. You smiled, nostalgia already in your heart. Today was not only Molly’s special day. Today would also be the day you left for good.

You opened the door for Isaac, thanking him wholeheartedly for assisting you today despite the fact that he and Jess was on flowers duty. This was one of the few things you would missed in this town, the camaraderie, the willingness to go out of their way to lend a helping hand and never asking for anything in return. Isaac watched you over his lashes, and if he noted that your smile felt forced, he didn’t comment further. He knew that Ari had up and left. Despite that, something bothered him at the back of his mind ever since you showed up. Isaac, with ever the observant eyes, watched you closely from the time Jess started hanging out with you. To him, Jess was his priority and if you were going to be around them, you needed to be harmless. In fact, he labeled you as one- except that you looked like you would bolt in any given time. And now, he was certain you would run away.

“You looked wonderful, Molly,” you admired her as you entered the room. The white dress she was wearing encompassed her personality, tucked on her right ear was her favorite flower. She told you once that that flower was the same kind that Pablo gave her when they were younger. You smiled at her sincerely, telling her how happy you were for her. Some people were lucky with love, you thought. And you weren’t one of the lucky ones.

Molly had thanked you profusely for the beautiful cake. You told her it was your pleasure and wished her the very best before leaving the room, telling her that you’d see her at the reception when suddenly, her hand shot out to grip yours. Molly’s wise eyes were understanding as you met her eyes. She smiled dolefully at you, the lines in her eyes deepened as she did so.

“It was his mother’s death anniversary the day he left,” she started, her eyes willing you to understand. “He had just turned seven when she died. A town this small, you could only imagine how slow and difficult the rescue was. When the respondents finally found them, Caroline was long gone. They said it was raining hard that time. They said Caroline lost control of the car and collided on a tree.”

Molly sighed, her eyes focused on somewhere you knew you couldn’t reached. You knew, at that moment, she was reminiscing the day Ari lost his mother. It did pain you to listen to this. It did pain you because you knew there was nothing more you could do for him. After all, there was barely anything you could do for yourself.

“It was four hours later when they found them. The poor boy-“ she paused to wipe the tear on her face, “-the poor boy, poor Ari was crying his heart out, his little arms around Caroline’s cold body. That child was alone for hours before the adults could even find them.”

You were silent for a moment, digesting the information she divulged on you. You could only imagine the boy you saw on the photograph, his mischievous smile and his missing tooth, you could only imagined him wailing for help as he clutched his mother’s body on his little one’s. You could only imagine the pain his little heart encountered.

“Did you know he didn’t speak a word for a year? He closed off completely. No one could talk to him until the day the father came to town. I didn’t know he existed, nobody in the town knew. Caroline kept quiet about who the father is. I remembered he looked stern, I was hesitant to let him talked to Ari. But what did I know? One conversation and Ari was speaking again. The next day, he left with Ari. I didn’t see him for five years.”

“W-why are you telling me this?” You finally managed to ask Molly, slowly pulling your hand away from hers. You didn’t want to hear anymore because by doing so would make it harder for you to hate him for leaving, because by hearing more would make you more vulnerable when you already were. You didn’t want to know because it would make it harder to forget him. You didn’t want to feel anything more for him.

“Because although his actions are inexcusable, I cannot find it in me let you give up on him. He’s a good person,” she replied softly as she regarded you with her eyes, “He’s a good person.” She repeated. “He’s just a little damaged.”

It was at sunset when Pablo walked down the aisle first, his face that of a blissful smile. Isaac clapped him on the back before sitting down on the piano and started playing a beautiful melody. Despite the unpunctual start of the ceremony, everyone else’s eyes started tearing up upon finally witnessing a love story as old as time, upon witnessing a love that they thought wouldn’t come into any fruition, upon witnessing a love that was so patient that time finally gave in. Molly insisted on waiting for another hour for Ari, but alas, no Ari came. When Pablo was asked about holding off the wedding by an hour, he agreed and said, ‘I already waited a lifetime for her. What more is an hour?’.

The makeshift sheer, white curtain opened and everyone stood up. You smiled as you saw Molly standing on the start of the aisle, in her hand was the flower bouquet Jess designed carefully. You brought your hand on your chest, as you saw happiness radiating off of Molly. At her age, Molly looked strong and young on this particular night. And on the day she was given a second chance at a happily ever after, you marveled at her silent beauty and the strength her heart had.

A love that was too great that even the universe yielded.

She was about to step forward when a large and handsome man gently touched her back. Your eyes lifted up slowly, his sole focus was only on you. He was wearing a crisp, white shirt, and in his hand was the suit he was guardedly wearing. You could feel your heart skipped a beat- and you hated yourself for it. You hadn’t seen him since the day morning you woke up without him. You had try to rationalize it in your brain, you really did. You told yourself it was for the best, that there was no happy ending in this.

The cool wind moved the curtain gently, hindering your view of Ari. It was only then that you noticed a man standing not too far from Ari. He was wearing a black shirt and black pants, he was looking directly at you- and in his eyes was an unbridled perplexity. Slowly, as if in slow motion, his eyes shifted to Ari who was looking at you. The wind blew the curtain again, you blinked once, and then the man disappeared.

You broke eye contact with Ari’s blue eyes.

“Ari, you made it,” Molly gasped as she looked up at Ari. She had somehow accepted he wouldn’t be back for days, and seeing him here, having him here with her made Molly’s night even more exquisite.

Ari gently took Molly’s hand and placed it on his arm. He smiled encouragingly at her, despite the fact that he felt like his world was one discovery away from crumbling. “I promised you I’d walk you down the aisle,” he whispered at her before tilting his head to the aisle. “You know I never break my promises.”

She smiled at the young man beside her, and somehow it broke her heart to see hopelessness in his eyes. “You ready?” His baritone voice asked, and with a nod, they proceeded. As they walked slowly along the aisle, her hand clutching his muscular arm, it was not lost to Molly how Ari’s eyes were absolutely fixated on you. And even when they passed you by, with you never once looking at him again, his eyes only strayed from yours when he could no longer looked.

“Remember our talk, Pablo,” he stated once they reached the end of the aisle. Before he placed Molly’s hand on Pablo, he turned and embraced her, whispering how beautiful she was, how thankful he was for her, and most importantly, how happy he was for her.

The ceremony started and ended beautifully, their I do’s meant forever as they placed rings on each other’s finger. And when they faced the crowd for the first time as husband and wife, the whole crowd cheered.

You stayed until the simple dinner, you stayed until Molly and Pablo sliced the cake, and you stayed enough to experience one last joke with Jess, one last hug with Molly. You spent the whole night absorbing every good thing in this town before leaving it for good. Moreover, you spent the entire night avoiding Ari, which proved to be a simple task considering that Jess was planting herself between you and Ari whenever he attempted to come near you. Your human barricade, her exact words.

When it was time for Ari’s toast, you wanted nothing more than to leave, except that his eyes pleaded for yours to stay. His blue eyes stayed on yours as he walked to the front, his voice strong as he greeted the group, and even as he cracked a joke, his eyes almost never strayed from yours.

“It was the great Tyler Knott Gregson who once wrote this, ‘When you swam in the sea, a lake will no longer do; everyone else was always a pond but the ocean was always you.’. That reminded me of what our dashing groom said to me when I asked why he never got married. He said that no one was Molly. He said that anyone else paled in comparison to her. He said he’d willingly wait for a lifetime if it meant he’d get to hold her hands again,” Ari paused, lifting his eyes from the paper he was holding, he looked at you. Even from across the room, he looked at you as if you were the only one there. “No one was you.”

Ari lifted the glass of champagne, “To Molly and Pablo, you deserve the love you waited a lifetime for. And to us, may we not wait a lifetime for a love such as theirs.”

And when the people all raised their glass to the newly wed couple, you knew it was time to leave.

The air was cold as you walked home. You walked and walked until you could no longer hear the soft music coming from the seashore, the place where people were happy. There was always this melancholy feeling you had whenever you left a town, but God, this was worse. You held your head high, swallowing the agony you were perceiving. And when you reached your bare and dark store, you made sure to savor every corner of it. This was the version of you that you loved the most. Here, you were free. Here, you were just a simple girl. Your bag was waiting for you on top of the counter. You made sure the old cellphone you used to communicate with Bucky was there before you grabbed your coat. And with that, you left.

Your soft footsteps and the silence of the night were somehow comforting. You stepped outside, but just as you were going to walk the other way, there he was.

There was Ari, standing so tall with his hair combed back neatly, the black suit jacket he was wearing was now on his arm, his hands resting in his pockets. His sleeves were folded neatly, baring his powerful arms to you. The street was almost pitched black, the singular street light was flickering on and off. Ari’s eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes unreadable. He stood not more than six feet from you, he stood so still as if he was waiting for you to move. And you could not do anything anymore besides moving away from him and this town.

The wind blew gently, your hair and you dress moving gently with it. You thought you couldn’t get any sadder than this, but the way Ari was looking at you, the way you thought that in another life, you would have wanted to be braver than this damaged you. You bit your trembling lips, you took a deep breath, and then your turned your back to him. You thought it would be easy for him. After all, he did that to you numerous times. Why then did you want nothing but to run into his arms where you felt safe? Why then did you want nothing but asked him how he was? Was he okay? Was he still hurting? Was he still lonely?

But you knew, there was no life that you could offer him. The decision to leave was cemented upon hearing his tragic childhood, how he told you long before that he wanted to get married and have a family of his own, how you thought he must have been so lonely when he was young…those were the things you could not give him. Not when you were living in a borrowed time.

You stopped walking so abruptly when you heard his baritone voice, one that was so calm and certain.

“You don’t have to run anymore,” he whispered, his stance relaxed for once. “You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Turning your head slowly, you watched him as he walked near you, as his long and powerful thighs carried him to where you were. You stepped back, his outstretched hand falling. You blinked your tears away, your mind turning its gears as you processed what he said. What gives? How did he know you were running from something… or someone?

“I’m not running,” you stated strongly, as if you could hide from his wandering eyes the bag you were holding. “I-I just have a family emergency. I’d be back before you know it.”

Ari regarded you for a moment before he stepped even closer to you, so close that you could feel the warmth emitting from him, could smell the alcohol he had been drinking from the wedding, could feel your heart beating faster from his proximity.

“I think you and I deserve better than a lie, don’t you think?”

And slowly, he placed his hands on your arms, pulling you closer to him until he could wrapped his arms around you, until he could bury his head on your neck, as if to assure him that you really were there, that he got on time. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. And he meant it. He was sorry for everything. You tried removing his arms around you, you could not stay for a second more with the man you were feeling something to. But moving Ari was like moving a mountain, he was firm and strong and tall- but those things didn’t stop you from trying.

“Please don’t leave me.”

He whispered it so sad, as if he was already broken and you were the only one holding him together made you stopped resisting. God, you hated how he was becoming your weakness. Nevertheless, weakness was something that could be exploited, that could be used against you in your world. And for heaven’s sake, you wouldn’t let Ari be in the midst of your chaotic world.

“I can’t stay-“

“Just for tonight. Please. Wherever you want to go tomorrow, I’ll bring you there. Please.”

You watched him closely as he moved around the house, the darkness outside was in contrast with the way his house was filled with light, as if he was scared of being in the dark. He busied himself in the kitchen that you managed to observe him without his knowledge. Ari placed the drink in front of you before sitting beside you on the sofa.

“You look beautiful tonight, darling. You always do,” he began, his thigh was touching yours as he sat with his legs spread. “I apologize for not telling you sooner-“

“I cannot be with you.” You spurted out without thinking. You could not bear to listen to him any longer when you knew you couldn’t be with him.

Ari tilted his head to the side before taking a sip of his drink. He put it back on the table with finality. “Tell me, what are you scared of?”

You were shaking your head before he could even finished. You should not have stayed. This- everything was messier with him knowing, with feelings involved.

“Tell me who hurt you, sweetheart,” he implored, gently gathering your hands in his as he peppered kisses on them. His eyes were trained on you, sincerity pouring out on them that you knew he of all the people deserved some semblance of truth from you.

“Ari…please. Just listen to me, hmm? I can’t be with you. If my family knows of this, they would ruin you. They’ll hurt you. I can’t give you what you want-“

“I don’t care, sweetheart. You have to know this, no one will take you away from me. You have to know, darling, from now on, you have me, okay? You’ll always have me.”

“Ari, please,” you were crying now as you convinced him to let you shield him from the ugliness of your world, to let him get away unscathed. “Listen to me. You’ll find someone, okay? You’ll find someone without a baggage as big as mine-“

“I don’t want anyone else. I only want you- your baggage and all. I want you. I want us. I’ll take care of you, okay? Just let me handle everything, sweetheart.” He cut you off strongly. What should he do to make you see just how much you meant to him? What should he do to convince you that you were safe with him, that you’d never let anything happen to you?

That you were now the most important person in his life?

“But-“

And for all the honesty in the world, when Ari said he did not care one bit about anything else but you, it was the most truth. He didn’t let you say another word that would convince him otherwise, Ari closed the gap between the two of you, and then he kissed you.

Ari eyed you as you slumbered peacefully beside him, his strong arms wrapped around you, his muscular thigh on top of yours. The barely restrained dark emotion in him when he saw you leaving was almost unbearable it was a miracle that he presented himself as calmed and collected. He abhorred seeing you leave, as if you were so ready to never see him again, to walk away from what he knew was the best thing that ever happened to him. He hated it. And so, he knew he had to up his game to get you to stay with him.

Your phone lightened up. Slowly as to not wake you up, he reached for your phone on the bedside table. His eyes were alert as he watched if you would moved, and only when he was certain that the sleeping pill he put on your drink was still in effect, he dared open your ridiculous 3310 Nokia phone.

Ah, darling. You are too trusting, he thought as he accessed your phone without any passcode. His jaw clenched as he read the new text messages.

‘Princess, I’m glad you moved tonight. I just discovered your fiancé found out you lived in that town. His name is Ari Levinson.’.

‘Tell me when you are already in your new house, princess.’

Without another thought, Ari deleted the messages.

| Next chapter

[aperrywilliams]

That Wicked Love – Part 4 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credits to the creator!)

------------------

Author Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Spencer pinned after you for two years until he dared to ask you out. Everything looks amazing until the second date comes around and Spencer stands you up. After disappearing for three months, he comes back, but things turned complicated enough to change your lives forever.

Word Count: 5k (ups!)

Warnings: 18+ / MINORS DNI. Having sex is mentioned. The main characters discuss pregnancy and abortion topics. Angst y Fluff in this part. Happy ending!

A/N: This is the last part. Sorry, I got carried away a bit. Thanks for reading! As usual, your comments, reblogs, and likes make my day. Love to y'all and be safe!

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After you left the precinct, Spencer couldn’t avert his sight from the entrance doors. Everything happened so fast that he even thought it wasn’t real for a fraction of a second. You weren’t real. Olivia wasn’t real.

Then it hit him.

He didn’t do anything to stop you.

And you were gone.

With your child.

His child.

If regret could kill, Spencer would be dead at the instant.

What did he do? He abandoned the mother of his child to her luck, propelling her to make a decision alone. And she opted for having his kid. And he never knew, and he never cared.

It was the lowest thing he thought he would do in his life. He was worse than his father.

“Let’s grab our things to go home,” Emily instructed the team. Everyone but Spencer moved in silence to the meeting room to do so. He was frozen on the spot.

“Reid,” Emily squeezed Spencer’s shoulder.

“They know. Right? The team?” He mumbled, still looking at the entrance.

“I think so. It was hard not to notice. Seeing you both together was like seeing a reflection,” Emily pointed.

“She’s my daughter, Emily. But I don’t have any right to be her father,” Spencer lamented.

“That is something you want, though? Until today you didn’t know about her existence.”

“That’s not quite true,” Spencer sighed; a heaviness over his shoulders made him difficult to breathe.

“What do you mean?”

“That I made the worst mistake in my life five years ago.”

Emily frowned. Reid could be dramatic sometimes, but she suspected that this was serious.

“Okay. The take-out is on me. Let’s go.”

At Emily’s, Spencer told her everything that happened with you. It was embarrassing, but the truth is the truth. Emily didn’t judge him, though. The opposite, she looked at him like a caring sister worried for her little brother. After his release from prison, Emily got more protective of Spencer. She was the one who held him when he hit rock bottom.

“So, what do you want to do?”

“I want to be in her life.”

“The life of who? Olivia or (Y/N)?”

Spencer furrowed his brow.

“My daughter’s life, of course. Why do you ask that?”

“Because you know you can’t have the whole package. Right? I mean, you loved that woman. You didn’t show it in the best way; we know that. And now she has your daughter. Are you not thinking of getting the perfect family now, are you?”

Spencer thought about it for a moment. Emily was right. He shouldn’t believe that you magically would forgive him and tell him you still loved him. That will not happen. The best chance he had was to make it up to Olivia. That’s his top priority now.

“No. I know where I stand. I would be lucky enough if (Y/N) let me be part of Olivia’s life.”

“Yes. That’s right. Second question now: why do you want to be in Olivia’s life? Don’t get me wrong, Spencer, but you told (Y/N) five years ago that you couldn’t be a dad. Why now? Why she should believe you?”

Spencer has never ceased to be amazed at Emily’s ability to see beyond words and ask the right questions.

“Because I’m not in the same place that five years ago? I never told her about prison. I never told her about the nightmares. I never told her about what I did in there. Yeah, there is no reason to compensate for what I did to her, but at least she deserves to know why in my twisted reasoning, I thought I was protecting her from the worst version of me.”

Spencer’s voice trembled. They were painful memories. It took him a long time to accept what happened to him wasn’t his fault and that it shouldn’t stop him from continuing his life.

Emily took in his words. Seeing Spencer in a dark place broke her heart. They were painful memories for her as well.

“Okay. Then just do that. Tell her the truth.”

-

It’s been six days since the ordeal of Olivia’s kidnapping. You came back to work reluctantly. You wouldn’t have sent Olivia to preschool either, but the psychotherapist who saw her the day after what happened told you that it was better for Olivia to continue the routine. In that way, the event won’t settle in her mind as the biggest issue. The goal was that Olivia could see it as something that happened, that it was bad, but it won’t stop her life as she knows it.

You tried to follow her advice and do your best to concentrate on the job. But it was hard. Not only for fear that something terrible could happen to your daughter. After five years, seeing Olivia’s father brought you back a lot of bitter memories and feelings that you thought were buried.

It didn’t help to see Spencer Reid entering the bookstore that morning.

“What are you doing here?” You asked dryly, your hands gripping the counter to ground yourself.

Spencer noticed your defensiveness.

“Hi. Uh, can we talk, please?” He asked you using the softest voice he could muster.

He needed to convince you somehow.

“No. I don’t want to talk to you. Please, leave,” you replied, barely looking at him.

“(Y/N)...”

“I’m working, Spencer,” you cut him off.

“I can wait until you finish your shift,” he offered. You huffed in annoyance.

“Now you want to talk? I thought you were very clear five years ago,” you snarled.

“I just need an hour of your time. If after that you want me to leave you alone and don’t come back, I will. Please.”

You looked at him. His eyes were gazing at you like they were pleading. Watching your clock, you noticed you had an hour and a half left before leaving. You gave in.

“One hour. Now. Then I have to pick Olivia up from the preschool,” you warned him. Spencer nodded immediately.

He waited for you while you talked with one of your employees. Then you grabbed your bag.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Spencer wanted a quiet place to talk, and the regular coffee shops were usually packed, so he picked one Emily suggested to him. She knew the place had a peaceful and private corner for the owners, coincidentally Emily’s friends.

After Spencer insisted on buying you a coffee, you both sat in that corner. It was warm and cozy. You welcomed that after the chilling outside and knowing that the conversation could be rough.

“Okay. What do you want to say?”

Spencer cleared his throat and shifted in the seat. Then he looked at you straight to your eyes.

“I can’t even imagine how these years have been for you. And I’m sorry...” He started, but you cut him off.

“No, you can’t. And you already said sorry. It’s that all?”

“No. No (Y/N). Just listen. I wasn’t honest with you from the beginning. Or better said, since I showed up at your bookstore after three months. I - I was... Jesus. I’m going to start from the beginning, okay? Please, just let me do it. Please?”

You narrowed your eyes in confusion. Spencer looked so nervous and overwhelmed. You didn’t see him like this since the time he started to frequent your workplace. It resembled the shy guy you met years ago. So you let your defensiveness aside for a moment.

“Okay. Okay. Tell me. I’ll listen.”

“Thank you,” Spencer breathed. “Well, the first time I walked into your bookstore and met you, I knew I had never seen someone more beautiful than you,” Spencer smiled at the memory.

You couldn’t help but blush a little.

“Yeah, I had a crush on you since the first day. And when you started to talk to me, I swear I would have fainted right then. You know it took me two years to have the courage to ask you out. And after our first date, I knew I loved you already. But when I didn’t show up for our second date, it wasn’t because I was on duty. It was because I was in jail.”

Your eyes widened. You didn’t expect to hear something like that. What did Spencer do?

One by one, Spencer recounted the days in Mexico. He told you why he was there. You knew about his mother’s illness. Spencer told you about his arrest and what followed. The murder charges, the months in jail, and the hard time there. He didn’t describe the details of the worst things, though, because it wasn’t fair to put that on you. When he ended by telling you about Cat Adams and his mother’s kidnapping, you were shocked: because of what he was telling you and because you didn’t know anything about it back then.

“You didn’t tell me those things. Why are you doing it now?”

“When I got out, and after my mom was safe, I tried to convince myself I could go on with my life. That’s why I showed up. I wanted to see you so bad. In jail, I thought about you every day. But I couldn’t tell you the truth. I didn’t want to scare you. And when things moved forward, I was so frightened of the man I became. I did terrible things there, and it wasn’t fair to you having to put up with my shit. That is what would happen if I had opened up to you. That’s why I kept everything physical. That’s why I never stayed the night. I thought it wasn’t fair to you to see me struggling and dealing with the nightmares...”

“But that’s what couples do, Spencer, support each other,” you interjected. If you had known that, you would have helped him.

“I know. But I honestly thought you deserved better than me. I know I should have to cut it off, but the selfish man in me couldn’t do it.”

“And then I got pregnant,” you mused.

“I freaked out. I wasn’t okay. I barely could make it through the day. I couldn’t be a dad. And I couldn’t provide the support you needed and deserved. So I ran. And I regret it every day for that. I convinced myself that you could have a better life and heal without me around. In the same way, I convinced myself that you wouldn’t keep the baby.”

It was a memory that hurt you for a long time. You struggled, trying to figure out what to do. You thought about ending your pregnancy, and it was a hard decision you had to make alone. And now Spencer shows up and tells you this? It was easier hating him in the ignorance of what happened to him.

“What do you want? Don’t get me wrong, Spencer. I’m shocked by this information, but your goal here is not only to let me know the pieces I missed back then, isn’t it?”

“Yes. You are right. Although I really think you deserve to know the truth. But yeah, I’m doing this because I want to ask you to let me be part of Olivia’s life. I know I missed a lot already, but I can try to make it up to her if you let me.”

“Can you be a father now? You couldn’t five years ago,” you pointed. Spencer nodded.

“Yes. I couldn’t, which didn’t mean I didn’t want to. You have the absolute right not to believe me, but I always wanted to become a dad. You can blame the fact that I never had my dad around, and my mom couldn’t take care of me as the other moms could do with their children. It’s true; five years ago, I did what my father did to me. And when I realized it was when I hit rock bottom. Now it’s different? Yes. Therapy helped, as my friends helped too. And I’m willing to prove that I can be a dad for Olivia. That I can be there for her. Please, give me the chance to make this right.”

You saw Spencer’s glassy eyes, inspecting for any sign of deception. You found none. Were you biased by what he told you? Maybe, but you needed to think about Olivia. Provide her the best life you could. And if she has a dad, you couldn’t deny her that.

Spencer did everything to stay calm and show himself collected as you pondered the pros and cons, but he was a nervous wreck. You noticed, and your heart softened.

“You know? She doesn’t stop talking about you. You are her hero, who saved her from the bad guy. You’re the cool parent already,” you told him, a chuckle escaping from your lips. Spencer looked at you as if you had grown two heads.

“What - what does that mean?” He asked cautiously.

“It won’t be easy, Spencer. But I know Olivia would like to have her father around. If you really want her to be part of your life, love her and protect her, then she deserves a father.”

“Thank you. Thank you,” Spencer repeated like a mantra. He was so grateful to you for listening to him and giving him a chance.

“Don’t thank me yet. It’s a lot of work having a child, you know?”

“I’m not going to freak out this time. I promise.”

“You better not. I’m not saying this for me; I’m saying it for her. Don’t break her heart as you hurt mine, or I’ll kill you,” you sentenced. Spencer nodded; he knew you were serious.

“I won’t. I’ll not make the same mistake again.”

“Good. That’s what I needed to hear.“

You knew that Spencer meant every word he said. But you knew too that he wasn’t familiar with having a child. You weren’t either. So he would make mistakes, as you did. But something in your guts told you that it was the proper thing to do.

-

You agreed to go slow. The first step was for Olivia to warm up to Spencer, which was pretty easy. The day you told Spencer to show up in the playground, and he did, Olivia ran to him immediately. She invited him to the swings right away, and both spent the afternoon playing and telling stories under your supervision. It made you happy to see Olivia laughing and enjoying the time. When you called Olivia to go home, Spencer thanked you once and again with tears in his eyes.

With playdates in the park going smoothly, you allowed Spencer to come to visit the apartment.

He usually showed up with a book for Olivia. She couldn’t read thoroughly, yet she was very advanced at that. Spencer’s genes certainly have to do with it.

Week by week, the bond between Spencer and Olivia was strengthened. Adding to the walks in the park eating ice cream and the afternoons of playing and reading in your apartment were the phone calls when Spencer was out of town.

Olivia ranted like Spencer usually does. It melted your heart seeing them talking about space or cars or bugs or whatever Olivia’s interest could be. Spencer always filled their conversations with extra information, and Olivia loved it.

After a couple of months, you decided to tell her. Spencer was excited but scared at the same time. How would she take it? You said to him that the times Olivia asked for her dad, you explained that families were all different; some have dads, and others don’t. The topic never went further than that.

One Saturday morning, you were finishing breakfast when you heard two knocks on the door. Olivia perked up from her spot on the kitchen table. You moved to open the door, calling Olivia after.

“Liv, honey. Come to the living room; we have a visit.”

“Spencer!” Your little girl chirped, rushing into his arms.

“Hey! How are you, Olivia?” Spencer greeted, taking her in his arms and holding her tight. He was out on a case all week, so they only could talk by phone.

“Ms. Holland taught us about the Solar System this week, and she congratulated me for naming all the planets!” Olivia excitedly recounted as Spencer had her safely supported on one of his hips.

“Wow, that’s amazing! Well done!”

To say Spencer’s chest tightened with pride could be an understatement. You chuckled at seeing them interact. But you had a mission today.

The three of you sat on your living room carpet. And after the catching up between Olivia y Spencer, you took the lead.

“Liv, honey,” you called. The little girl looked at you immediately. “Do you remember we talked a time ago about how different families could be?”

Olivia pouted, narrowing her eyes. It was her tell when she was thinking. In the meantime, Spencer rubbed his sweaty hands in the fabric of his slacks.

“Uh-hu. You said that some kids have a mom and a dad, others have two moms or two dads,” Olivia recalled.

“Yes. That’s right. And some kids have just a dad and others just a mom, remember?”

“Like me?” Your little girl recognized. Spencer’s heart ached, thinking she had already assumed she didn’t have a father.

“Well, about that, your case is different.” You started to explain.

“Why?”

“Because you have a mom AND a dad,” you pointed.

“I have a dad?” Olivia’s eyes widened.

“Yes, honey. I didn’t tell you before because he couldn’t be here. He needed to sort some things first. That’s why it was only me until now. Would you like the idea of having a dad?” You asked your child.

“I don’t know. What do dads do?” Olivia asked back; there was some hesitation in her voice.

“Oh. They can do a lot of things. Dads can play, tell stories, read to you, help you with your homework, pick you up from school, and many other things.”

“But Spencer does that. Can Spencer be my dad?”

Spencer’s eyes filled with tears. You looked at him as a cue that he could tell Olivia.

“Would you like me to be your dad?” Spencer questioned, looking at the little girl.

“Yes. You’re funny, and you’re a hero. I like you,” Olivia told matter-of-factly.

“Well, I like you too. And I have some news for you. I’m indeed your dad, Olivia,” Spencer told her, his voice trembling.

“Really?” Your little girl asked, looking at you for confirmation. You nodded, a smile on your face.

“Yes, honey. Spencer is your dad. Do you like the idea?” You asked tentatively.

“Yes! It’s awesome!” Olivia enthusiastically shouted as she ran to hug Spencer. He opened his arms and caught Olivia in the tightest embrace you saw between the two of them.

“I’m so sorry for not being here for you sooner, sweetheart. But I promise to make it up to you,” he mumbled, kissing Olivia’s temple.

You witnessed the scene with tears in your eyes. They deserve each other, and you were happy that Liv took it that way. Of course, there will be many questions as Olivia gets older, but this was a good start.

-

Parenthood showed Spencer a new world, and he loved every minute of it.

Olivia was the most amazing little girl he had known - leaving the bias aside.

You were more confident delegating to him. He picked Liv up and drove her to the preschool on the days he wasn’t called for a case. He could spend more time with her without you being there. Olivia had met all the team already, and Penelope was her favorite aunt. Some weekends Liv stayed at Spencer’s, and even though you missed your little girl, you knew she needed quality time with her dad.

You were happy for them, but that made you wonder about yourself. You spent four years only focused on your daughter, forgetting what free time was and not questioning your own needs. Now you were ready to have some time for yourself, which could be used to date. You tried to do that when Liv was a baby, but it became a recipe for disaster. That’s why you only settled for a casual hookup once in a while.

The one who wasn’t happy about your return to dating was Spencer. Obviously, he didn’t say anything and even wished you luck when you asked him to stay with Olivia. But his guts twisted every time his mind wandered to you with another man. Spencer chastised himself, knowing that you can do whatever pleases you. But he couldn’t deny that he still loved you, and co-parenting - seeing you almost every day - only intensified the feeling. He remembered Emily’s words: ‘Are you not thinking of getting the perfect family now, are you?’

He wanted that, but he couldn’t have it. Spencer won enough when you accepted having him in your daughter’s life.

Now he will have to settle for looking at you from afar, being only Olivia’s father.

At first, things were fun. You were enjoying your dates. It was interesting to get to know the guys, talk honestly to them, and pay attention to what they had to say. But no one seemed to click with you. It didn’t help you were a single mom. Some guys freaked out when you told them you have a child. And the ones who seemed don’t be bothered about that didn’t seem nice enough for you.

Maybe your expectations were too high.

Maybe you wanted more than a guy could offer.

Maybe the guys weren’t Spencer.

The last admission went unnoticed at first. But as time went on, you couldn’t help but compare each of your dates with Spencer. You cursed yourself for letting your heart be captivated by the young doctor again. But the truth was that you had never stopped loving him, even when you hated him for abandoning you. But who were you trying to fool? Spencer didn’t love you. He wanted to be part of Olivia’s life, but that’s all. Little did you realize that Spencer bent over backward to spend more time with Olivia and you at the same time.

-

For Liv’s five birthday, you wanted to do a big party for her, and Spencer helped you in all capacities. Renting a tiny restaurant with a patio in your neighborhood was a perfect choice. You invited Liv’s friends from the preschool. Spencer’s team was there too. You already knew them from the times you picked Liv from the BAU.

Spencer took charge of the entertainment, which included a magic performance on the patio.

You were watching that when JJ and Emily joined you.

“Olivia looks very happy,” JJ pointed.

“Yeah, she has enjoyed this day fully,” you agreed.

“I see another person having a great time today as well. He’s almost like one of them,” Emily said, indicating Spencer. He was finishing up a magic trick for the kids.

“The other moms haven’t taken their eyes off him,” JJ complemented.

That was something you noticed. The moms cheered Spencer as much as the kids, and they looked him up and down.

“If they could gobble it up, they would,” Emily reinforced.

It wasn’t a view you liked, but Spencer seemed clueless. Although your blood boiled in jealousy, you couldn’t say anything. JJ and Emily looked at you, and they knew. They were pretty extraordinary profilers, after all. Both team members learned about Spencer’s feelings towards you, and even if they encouraged him to do something, he hesitated. Seeing that the feeling was reciprocated, why not make a little push?

“But they don’t have a chance with Spence,” JJ pointed. You frowned. Why does she say that?

“Yeah. Our boy genius only has eyes for one woman,” Prentiss added, looking at you. You narrowed your eyes to the girls.

“Okay. I’ll bite. Why do you think that?” you asked.

“He told us,” Emily replied matter-of-factly. “But don’t tell him we told you,” she urged to add.

“No. That’s not possible. And if that’s true, our time passed years ago,” you sentenced—more for yourself than the girls.

“We know it’s not our business, and you have very valid reasons. I’m just saying that Spencer still loves you. He doesn’t stop talking about you. How brave you are, how good a mother you are, how beautiful you looked in the last afternoon you spent time in the park with Olivia.

And have you seen how he looks at you? If he could give you the moon, he would,” Emily scoffed. JJ nodded in agreement.

You just hummed. Maybe they were right. The thought made your heart beat faster.

After the party was over, a tired Olivia hanged from Spencer’s neck as you came back to your apartment. Spencer offered to put her in bed as you headed to the kitchen to make some tea.

“She’s fast asleep. I didn’t even reach the mid of the story,” Spencer said as he returned to the kitchen.

“Her energy went off. It was too much today,” you remarked, handing Spencer a cup. He sat on the stool in front of you.

“But she had a good time. That’s what matters,” Spencer reminded you, sipping his beverage.

“Yeah. I wanted to thank you for being for Liv today and being the entertainment to the kids.”

“Of course. No need to thank me. It was the least I could do.”

You nodded in appreciation, clutching your cup in your cold hands.

“You know? Liv told her friends that her daddy was so cool because he is a superhero and a magician,” you told him before sipping your tea. Spencer blushed.

“A little overstated, I would say...”

You chuckled, seeing Spencer flustered at the compliment.

“Well, the moms there could add ‘hot dad’ to the description.”

Your initial intention was to tease Spencer about it, but your tone revealed something more, and you cursed yourself for the slip.

“What? No. They not. Why do you say that?” Spencer questioned in high pitched tone. His tell for when he was nervous.

“Oh, come on, Spencer. It was obvious!” You informed, waving your hand to the air.

“Was it? Did you notice? Why?” Spencer was inspecting your microexpressions. You looked different from the typical (Y/N) that Spencer used to know in the past months. His eyes on you made you nervous, and you stumbled over your words.

“Uh. Well. Because JJ and Emily pointed it?” You tried to play cool but failed miserably.

“Is that so? You weren’t paying attention?” Spencer raised an eyebrow, taking another sip of his tea.

“Why should I?” You replied defensively.

“I don’t know. I - I don’t know, really,” Spencer sighed.

What would he say to you? He didn’t want to overstep even if your body language screamed to him jealousy and tension between you both. You both were subtly flirting the past weeks, but none of you would recognize that. Spencer was conflicted. He didn’t want to do anything that could jeopardize the civil relationship he had with you.

Standing from the stool, he gave you a tight smile.

“I should go now. Thanks for the tea.”

You stayed sat and your gaze fixed on your mug. Were your pride and fear of being hurt stronger enough to appease your feelings for Spencer? You were protecting yourself, but why does it feel like you were drowning?

He put on his coat and walked to the entrance. Spencer was about to leave when your brain betrayed you and commanded to your mouth let out the words stuck in your chest.

“I did notice because I loved you, and I still do. It’s not what I wanted, but I can’t help it. You gave me a precious gift, my daughter, and she’s my world now. It wasn’t easy at first, but she reminds me that we loved each other at some point. It’s a way to have the best of you with me,” you confessed, turning to look at Spencer. His eyes were glassy, and his lips were quivering. You stood and leaned on the kitchen counter.

“I love you,” he declared, moving closer to you. “I know my words could be nothing to you, but I could try. I can prove to you that I’m a better man. I can be a better man for Olivia and you. I want to turn that wicked love I gave you into a better love, a whole love, an endless love.”

“Are you willing to do that?” You asked with tears running down your cheeks.

“I would do anything, I swear,” he told you, gripping your hands in his.

“Anything?”

“Yes. Just name it.”

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. He cupped your cheeks and made intense eye contact with you, looking for any sign of doubt or discomfort.

“Are you sure you want this?”

“Almost more than you want this.”

A smile formed on his lips at your response. He leaned slowly, his breath fanning your skin.

You closed your eyes in anticipation, resting your hands on his sides. Your heart was beating so hard you thought it might burst out of your chest.

When you felt his lips brushing yours, you could taste what you didn’t feel in five years and have longed for.

You wanted more, though. So you made a bold move and grabbed a fist of his shirt to pull him towards you and kiss you again. This time, your lips molded together in a perfect mix of passion and sweetness. Your hands moved up to wrap your arms around his neck. Leaving your cheeks and without breaking the kiss, Spencer’s hand gripped your hip, pulling you closer to his body. He poured his heart into that kiss, and you felt it. When both parted for air, you were smiling at each other—a big bright smile.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, pecking your nose. You mimicked him and kissed his nose back.

“I love you too. And welcome to the family.”

------------------

Spencer Reid’s Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic​

That Wicked Love’s Taglist: @sebastiansstanswhore @simpingfortoomanypeople

[dumbfuck-mojave]

Coming Out to Steve and Eddie as Bisexual (Separate Scenarios)

Franchise: Stranger Things 

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Reader, Eddie Munson x Reader (Can be read as platonic or romantic!! Whatever suits you most <3)

Also Featured: Mentions of Wayne, Robin, unnamed Family Video Customer

Warnings: Food, a really brief mention of the pencil scene from Evil Dead (injury, blood). Eddie and Steve both use petnames but it can still be platonic. 

A/N: Well I didn’t plan on the over a month writing hiatus but I’m back, writing for more Midwestern characters. I wanted to have an undeniable Midwestern thing in this one and that evolved into Eddie being a diehard Puppy Chow fan, and me wanting to write a full fic where he and his partner make it for Hellfire lol. So if you like Stranger Things and my writing style, give me a follow and look forward to that. I also made Eddie specifically unlabeled queer, I was originally gonna make it ambiguous but this is my fic so >:(. And I think it’s funny if he’s a little bitch when it comes to horror movies so I also threw that in lol. I hope you enjoy!! I might do this for Jonathan in the future as well. 

This was inspired by @kaylawritesfics headcanons on coming out to the older ST characters! Make sure to give that post a like/reblog and give her a follow, she was one of the first ST writers I read on my private account and her work is amazing!!

Word Count: 

Steve- 1,368

Eddie- 1,177

@dollyghostface @horrorstolemyheart @kaylawritesfics and @loveronlineee​ who I also read a lot and recall seeing they were okay with being tagged in stuff :))

Support a disabled creator this disability pride month :D

-Steve Harrington-

It was almost closing time when a young woman slipped through the door of Family Video, carrying a stack of tapes the length of her torso. You had your back partially turned to the register and the door, sorting through the new inventory, so Steve had hopped up from the rolling chair he was sitting in to assist her. It had been relatively quiet for the past few hours, and that didn’t change much; The woman had a quiet voice, the sound barely overshadowing the methodic tapping of computer keys as Steve typed and the pirouetting seat of the chair, still recovering from his sudden upheaval. You figured, despite the amount of tapes she had brought in, it would be a relatively quick final task of the day. You were wrong. 

“I’m honestly appalled.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Steve.” 

“No, Y/N, because look at this!” He gestures aggressively to the partially broken down stack in front of him, then picks one up with flamboyance, “There’s like 20 tapes here! Are we even allowed to rent out that many to one person!?”

“Actually, I don’t think so-”

“AND SHE DIDN’T REWIND ANY OF THEM! Like Jeez, if you’re gonna be a lousy customer at least be only half lousy! Thank God I didn’t just shove them out like I wanted because if I didn’t discover this I would be in so much shit-”

“Aw, you poor baby. Actually having to do your job.” You fake pouted at him.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m doing something productive.” He shot back, even though it didn’t have much fire behind it. It’s rare that he’s genuinely mad at you (Or anyone else, for that matter). 

You looked down at your swinging feet coming in to view over your knees every few seconds or so, having hopped onto the counter after finishing sorting the new tapes into “easy to put out genre piles” for tomorrow. There’s been a bit of delay with your stock recently, and you had gotten triple the amount you usually did in one delivery today so you thought the normal system could change a little bit because of it. Sort it all out today, put it all out when you come in for the opening shift tomorrow. Simple.

“I’ve been productive all day, Steve! I didn’t see your ass wanting to sort through all this bullshit.”

Steve clicks his tongue, “Language.”

“Oh, shut up.”

You both started chuckling at that. You glance over at his stack of tapes, still messy but forming some sense of order as he places the rewound ones back in their own pile. He sighs as he pulls another one out of its cover, changing it out for the one that has just finished rewinding with a pop. 

Your caution blanks on you for a moment, just one moment. But it allows your words to overtake you. 

“Hey, can I tell you something?” 

Oh shit.

As Steve looks at you curiously, you feel like you’re going to pass out, or throw up, or both. You debated on getting off the counter, but decided to stay put so as to not make a fool of yourself floundering to find a new seat. 

It’s not like you didn’t want to tell Steve, you loved him and you knew he would be accepting, but even knowing that information didn’t help the anxiety that blanketed the struggle of trying to build yourself up to this point over the last few months. This wasn’t the way you wanted to do it, you wanted it to happen when you were completely comfortable and secure, maybe during a late night talk or near the end of a long phone call. The still moment in the car as you finally arrive home after a long trip. Anything but this, right now. 

“Yeah, of course? Are you okay?”

“It’s something important.” Once again, not what you wanted to say.

“Alright, but are you okay? You’re looking a little sick there, peaches.” 

You feel a little more life rush back into you as you scoff.

“Again with the ‘peaches’?”

“What, I thought you liked it!”

“When you said it the first time I laughed, that’s not confirmation I like it.”

Steve saunters towards you, “Welllll, you’re laughing now and you don’t look 2 seconds away from dying anymore, so I consider it a win.” 

A small chuckle bubbles up in your throat, “Scoffing is not laughing, Harrington. Now this, what I’m doing right now? Is laughing.” 

“A win!”

“A win because of how stupid you are!”

“Still a win!” Steve had made it over to you by now, leaning back against the counter as he looks up at you. He nudges your knee with his elbow, “So, what do you want to talk about?” 

Nervousness invades you again, and Steve notices as your lips slightly turn down. 

“Hey, it’s okay! I promise, don’t back out on me now. I’m sure you’ll feel better after saying it.” 

He says it with a smile, and you can’t help but silently agree with him. Your gaze diverts to the door and Steve follows it, turning his head.

“Do you want me to lock the door? That way no one will come in, it’ll be just us.”

You nod. Steve moves quickly throughout the store, first locking the door then flipping off some switches so all the outside lights were off and only a few remained on inside. Legs flew in your peripheral as he launched over the counter, nearly falling as he situated himself up beside you. 

“If you would have fallen and broken your face, I would’ve laughed as I drove you to the hospital.” 

“Shhhh,” Steve hushes as he puts his arm around your shoulders, “We’re focusing on you now.”

“Yeah… focusing on me.”

Steve’s brows furrow, “I know what I said a few minutes ago but you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

You took a deep breath in, “No, I want to.” 

You pause again, leaning your head on Steve's shoulder as his thumb starts to rub gentle circles into your cloth covered one. 

Finally, you speak.

“I’m bisexual.” You close your eyes and a beat passes. But you have to hand it to Steve, there’s barely any time for you to start doubting before he replies. 

“That…. That means you’re into both boys and girls, right? Just want to make sure before I say anything stupidly incorrect.”

You smile, nuzzling more into his shoulder as his grip around you tightens, “That and the in-between, but yes.” 

“Alright, cool.” You can feel his jaw move against the side of your head as he lays his own on top of yours, “Thank you for trusting me. I’m sorry I don’t have much else to say.”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything.” You nudge your head away from his, looking at his face, “I feel a lot better now.”

He softly smiles at you, “I’m glad. You know I wouldn’t care no matter what, right?”

Shrugging, you respond, “Yeah, but it’s still scary.” 

“Yeah, yeah, for sure. Your ‘secret’ is safe with me.” He sloppily salutes and you cackle, hoping off the counter.

“Alright sailor boy, how about we head out of this joint. The seas await us.” 

“That’s former sailor boy to you. And a fellow employee pressuring me into leaving before I’ve finished all my work? I might just report you for that.” 

“Whatever, I can just get Robin to do the rest tomorrow!” You yell over your shoulder, heading into the back to pick up your and Steve’s stuff as he shuts off the rest of the lights. There’s still dim natural light out, so you see his featureless form waiting for you by the door. He swings it open when you get close enough. 

“I’m really happy I told you, I’ve been freaking out about it for so long.” You look over at him as you both walk towards his car.

“I’m glad you told me too, now I can judge your taste in both guys and girls,” He unlocks the car and finger guns at you over the hood, “And everything in between.” 

-Eddie Munson-

“Home sweet home!” Eddie yelled out as he kicked his leg up to hold the door open, hands full as he gestures you inside with his head.

“Your home, not my home.” You reply as you set your own bags down on the small collapsible table in the kitchen area. You weren’t even sure who had pulled it out, or why, Wayne usually eats a small supper at work while Eddie takes whatever he can scrounge up into his room. Even when there were people over, like you or some neighbor Wayne was friendly with, the meal was eaten while watching TV in the living area, surrounded by hats and mugs basked in the dim overhead light. It was nice. Homey, you thought. 

“It could be our home. What do you say, roommates?” Eddie wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed, pulling the last of the things out of your bags and reaching over to unpack Eddie’s. 

“I’m sure your uncle would absolutely adore having another person cramped up in here.” 

“Hey, it’s not cramped!”

“With three people and three people’s amount of stuff, it definitely will be.” 

When Eddie doesn't respond immediately, you glance up and are met with a confused expression on his face while he looks down at his hands, flexing them slightly. 

“Hey, bud, you doing okay?” 

“I’m trying to remember if I forgot anything.” He mumbles quietly, his fingers starting to move as he counted to himself. 

“We picked up the movie yesterday, we walked in just as Steve dropped a tape in front of that group of girls.”

He smacked his hand down on the table, rings clacking together as he pointed the other one at you, “That’s it! I swear, I remembered we did that all day, but it just… flew off right then.”

“It’s okay, I was kind of expecting it.”

Eddie clutches his chest, eyes widening as he gasps dramatically, “Sweetheart, light of my life, how could you say such things!”

You smirk but roll your eyes, taking a slight step back as he tries to throw his arms around you, just to up the dramatics a bit. 

“Light of my life? Seems a bit too Grecian for you, Eds.” 

“Oh, I have more where that came from. I can be one sappy motherfucker if I do so desire to be.” He shoulder shimmies, a teasing look in his brown eyes. 

“Alright, Euripides, let’s get to what we’re actually supposed to be doing tonight.” 

“What?” 

“He was a tragedian in ancient Greece, his play is where the ‘light of my life’ thing first popped up. He wrote depressing shit, I had to do a report on it, let’s move on.” 

Eddie’s body, which had been surprisingly still during your explanation, jumped back into motion at your suggestion. 

“Let’s! So, we got Bottle Caps, M&M’s, Nerds, like six different types of chips, that Puppy Chow we made yesterday after we apparently rented out the movie, let’s see what else....” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pencil impales the back of Linda’s ankle, gooey red blood pouring out, as Eddie hides his face into the pillow he’s been clutching and groans.

“Wow, that’s gnarly.” You chuckle as you pause the movie, turning to him. His head shoots up to look at you, a look of disbelief in his wide eyes.

“Are you kidding me? That was awful. That was torture, who would ever want to watch this shit?”

“Uh, you, Eddie. You’re the one who suggested Evil Dead.” You deadpan back.

“Well, I forgot about this scene.”

“If you would just admit you’re a pussy-”

“I AM NOT-”

“Then stop complaining and watch the damn movie, Munson!” 

“Listen, I don’t know what kind of sick fuck you are if you want to watch some lady get stabbed in the foot but I’m really starting to reconsider the people I choose to spend time with right now! I may write some mean shit for my campaigns, but at least I don’t have to visually witness it happening.” 

You sigh, flopping further into the couch, “We can stop if you’d like.” 

Eddie bites his nails in thought, “No, I just want to take a break. I need more Puppy Chow, and can you please not keep it paused at this particular moment.”

“Yes sir, anything you say sir.”

“I hate you.” Eddie mumbles halfheartedly, standing up from the couch as you rewind the movie back and stop on an innocent shot of cards. 

He returns after a brief moment, carrying the rest of the Puppy Chow in his hands. He shakes the bowl out to you in offering, but you decline. 

“I’m good. Have at it, Puppy Chow Fiend.” 

It’s almost silent for the next few minutes, the only sound being Eddie’s chewing and spring insects outside. But it isn’t awkward, more relaxing than anything. You feel like you could drift off as you close your eyes, surrounded by the warmth of blankets and Eddie next to you. You feel… safe.

“Hey, Eds, can I tell you something?” You peek one eye open, watching him quickly swallow and nod. 

“Of course, anything.”

Sighing, you scoot closer to him, turning so you can be face to face. Putting the bowl on the floor, he mirrors you and holds out his hands. You grasp them in your own, feeling the foreign texture of metal clashing with his rough skin. 

“I wanted to tell you I’m bisexual.” You give him a small smile, and he grins back at you, his eyes lighting up as he processes your words.

“That’s so sick, dude! Obviously, I won’t tell anyone else but I’m happy you found yourself and felt comfortable enough telling me. You already know I don’t care about gender or attraction, whether it’s me or anyone else, so it’ll be nice to have someone else around to talk about that stuff on a personal level with, even if I don’t really use labels.”

“Yeah, yeah I totally get that. It just feels like I can breathe now, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know.” Eddie holds out his arms for you, “Wanna hug?”

“Yes, please.” You hold him tightly, his fluffy hair tickling your face. Your hand reaches up to stroke it, “You know, I should braid this again.”

“After last time? No way.”

“It’s not my fault you tore out the ponytail like a little heathen. If you did it nicely, it wouldn’t have pulled so badly.” 

“Yeah, Yeah, whatever.” Eddie pulls away and looks over at the TV, grimacing. 

“Maybe we should have taken Steve’s suggestion instead.” You giggle, and Eddie raises an eyebrow at you.

“You want to watch Grease?”

You throw your hands up, “It’s fun!”

Eddie scoffs, “All the characters suck! And it totally breaks the realism at the end.”

“Eddie Munson, are you really trying to call out a movie where people break into song constantly on breaking realism?” 

He picks the almost empty bowl of Puppy Chow back up.

“I’m just saying, it would be a little more believable if they just drove away.” 

[screaming-blue-bagel]

Sex [eddie m. x fem reader]

✨inspired lightly by sex by the 1975✨

warnings: 18+ no children aloud, this is not heavy smut, it's more so an allusion to it, it's all about the ANGST so just a warning if you're coming for smut

*do not post my work on other sites or take my original work. likes and reblogs are welcome*

word count: 1.8k

summary: eddie has been crushing on y/n for a while now. y/n meets up with eddie to take her mind off her cheating boyfriend. eddie is in his feels when he wakes up the next day, alone.

not my gif. credit goes to the original creator.

–––––––––––

The leaves floated softly to the ground around Y/n's feet as she sat on a bench at the park. The air was cold. She felt empty. Her thoughts drifted to earlier in the day when she found her boyfriend making out with another girl in his truck at lunch. Her eyes were still red and wet from crying.

She stood up slowly and started walking home. As she walked down the sidewalk to her house she heard loud music and a vehicle coming down the road. Y/n turned around to see who was driving down the road only to be met with the gaze of none other than Eddie Munson.

Y/n was friends with Eddie. They were not best friends, but they definitely talk to each other during school and have done a few projects together throughout the years.

"Y/n, what's going on. Funny running into you here." Eddie said smiling. Smiling until he noticed your tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. He put the car in park and jumped out and jogged over to you. "Hey, hey look at me. What's wrong," he said holding onto your shoulders and trying to meet your gaze. You didn't want to look at him. "Eddie, I don't really want to talk right now. Today has been so shitty." Although a little disappointed that you wouldn't tell him what was wrong, he respected your choice. "Well can I at least offer you a ride somewhere or something?" Y/n pondered her options for a moment and decided that it wasn't going to get any warmer outside and it was getting late, so the ride was the better option even though she wasn't really in the mood to talk. "Yes, Eddie. That would be great, thanks," she said with a small smile and finally met his gaze. "Love to hear it, princess. Right this way" he said as he open the passenger door and stepped back with his arm out to let you in the van.

The silent until Eddie spoke up glancing at you. "I have to say you sadly missed one of my very entertaining speeches today at lunch," he said with a grin. At this moment you just decide to try and forget about what happened for a moment and appreciate that your friend was trying to cheer you up. "Oh yeah? I'm sure it was great if it came from you Eds." You didn't exactly mean to call him that, because you weren't exactly that close, but it felt natural so you just went with it. Y/n didn't notice Eddie slightly blush after she called him by the nickname. "Uh ... well anyway, it wasn't anything too special, but do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" Eddie said. "No, actually, do you mind maybe driving around with me a little longer? I'm not ready to go home." "Hell yeah, let's go get something to drink or something."

Eddie turned the music back up and started heading in the direction of the drive-in. You thought it was kind of cute that Eddie was driving while tapping on the steering wheel with his hands while his tongue out clearly focusing on the music.

After getting your drinks (that he insisted on paying for), you and Eddie sat in the drive-in. You decided to tell him what was bothering you because you can't hold it anymore. "Eddie." He looked over at you while trying to put his straw in his drink and failing miserably. "I just wanted to tell you that I was crying because I found my boyfriend making out with another girl in his truck during lunch today." You spat the words out so fast that you aren't even sure if he comprehended all that. "What the actual fuck? I always knew your boyfriend was a dick, no offense or anything," he seethed. You laughed at his rage. His protective demeanor was so adorable. He bit his lip in contemplation peering through the windshield. Eddie turned his head back to you; his hair falling gently over his shoulder. His pink cheeks notified you of his awareness of your prolonged staring. "So, y/n do you maybe want to come hang out at my place?" he questioned. His fragile ego balanced on your response and he wasn't sure he could handle the rejection.

About three years ago, you sat next to Eddie in geometry class. He occasionally spoke to you, but it wasn't typical. Eddie recalled that you were struggling with the theorem you were both learning at the time. You sat there at your desk frustrated and dropping occasional expletives under your breath. The assignment just didn't make any sense. Eddie noticed this. Clearing his throat he whispered, "Y/n, as you may know, I am not exactly Descartes, but I can help you out if you are interested." You didn't know Eddie could be humble, but you didn't give it much thought because you needed to pass this upcoming test. "You don't have to ask me twice. I would sell my soul to pass this test." Eddie smirked at your comment. "Sure thing, princess." Eddie was sure that's when his crush on you began.

"Eddie, you good?" He scoffed not wanting you to catch him thinking about you that way. It's a good thing she can't read minds, I guess. "Yeah, just thinking about all the ways I'm going to defile you later," he joked. But, it wasn't really a joke. "Right, good thing I wore my matching set today." He whipped his head around so quick you're sure you heard his neck pop. "Wait, really ... I ..." he blurted out. "I'm actually kidding Eddie, or am I?" you said mysteriously. He laughed. He knew you were just kidding. You didn't like him like that. You had a boyfriend for fuck's sake. A shitty boyfriend, but a boyfriend all the same. He just turned the music back up and started driving to his trailer.

The ride was filled with conversation about something Dustin said at lunch today and Eddie talking about the next album he was excited to buy. Y/n appreciated the lightheartedness of the conversation and she was beginning to forget about what happened earlier that day.

When you arrived, Eddie hopped out of the van and you followed suit. He opened the door for you "Ladies, first," he said with a grin. "I didn't know you were such a gentleman, Eddie." "Well Y/n, modesty is a virtue you know."

He walked in a turned on a couple of lamps in the living room area. "Do you want something to drink or food maybe?" he said while looking in the fridge. "A drink would be great. I'll have whatever you're having." He shrugged in acknowledgment and grabbed two beers out of the fridge. He handed you one and put a tape in the VCR. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure started playing. You appreciated his taste in movies.

The movie played and Eddie would look at you to see if you'd laugh at the funny parts. When you did he got so excited smiling from ear to ear. After some time, he asked you again "Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?" You frowned slightly. "Eddie, my boyfriend is an asshole and I don't know what to feel about it. I just can't believe he would do that to me after a whole year." He rubbed your shoulder and listened attentively.

He hated to see you this way. It made his feelings more complicated because he would never treat you this way if you were dating him. He hoped one day he would get the opportunity to at least ask you on a date or something, but he couldn't handle being rejected by you if you said no. It would crush him and he knew that, so he would just rather be your friend instead.

"I just want to forget Eddie. Maybe I deserve better. I don't know, I'm just so mad," you said to him with glassy yet longing eyes. You really liked Eddie, but you didn't think he felt the same. You looked at his eyes then down to his parted lips. "He looked into your eyes and noticed where you were actually looking." He scooted closer to you. He was glad you started leaning in so he didn't have to.

Your lips met his in a gentle embrace. So necessary. The coolness of his rings brushed against your cheek as he placed his hand there. He continued to kiss you more passionately too caught up in his own desires to think rationally. This was what he had wanted for so long. He lays you down on his bed moving to kiss your neck. You let out a soft moan to which Eddie looks up at you. "Y/n, your so beautiful, you know." You smile at him. "Just kiss me, Eddie." He obliges.

The tension lies thick in the air as you and Eddie hold on to each other like the world is falling down around you. The world has stopped at this moment. Feelings flood both of your senses and you both wonder why this hasn't happened sooner. His skin glows with sweat, as he lies between your legs, making him look otherworldly. He smiles at you with endearment. He thinks this may be the best moment of his life thus far. Eddie wishes it could last forever.

You both lie together on his bed. He holds a cigarette lazily between his lips as he plays with your hair. Not many words are exchanged as you lie there in his arms. You look up and smile at him sweetly. You place your hand on his cheek moving his bangs to the side. You kiss him one last time before he turns the lights out and you both drift off to sleep savoring the way you hold each other in this moment clinging to the present.

Eddie wakes up still feeling warmth from the night before. He smiles lazily and rubs his eyes. He wants to ask you if you want to stay over today and spend more time with him. He looks over to your side, but you are not there. He sits up. He doesn't believe it. "Damnit Y/n," he faltered. His eyes were already watering when he noticed all of your clothes were gone. He knew it was too good to be true. You could never love him; he thought as he sat there in tears and nakedness.

[randominagines]

can you write about y/n convincing Loki to let her paint his nails (they both end up with black or green nails hehe)

Thanks this request was adorable!

Pairing: Loki X Fem!reader

Setting: domestic AU

Warning: fluff, super fluff

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators.

Compromise

"Babe, are you hungry?" Y/n asked while closing the book she was reading. She was lying on her boyfriend's lap and he was gently caressing her head. He looked at her and frowned. "Uhm, not particularly, Pet. Are you?" Loki asked and she shook her head while sitting up on her couch. "Not actually, I'm just bored," She confessed and he chuckled, his hand caressing her leg. Y/n looked at the slow movement and grabbed his hand. "You have such beautiful hands." She said, mostly because she was thinking out loud. Loki's lips curved into a tiny smile: he was still getting used to compliments, love, constant attention. Y/n gave him the only thing he never thought he would have had: the awareness of being worthy of love. She was a constant surprise, mostly because she had a way to always understand him and embrace every single part of him. Loki caressed the back of her head, his long fingers drawing figures on her skin. "You like them?" He asked and she nodded, her eyes stuck on his fingers. "I like every part of you." She simply said, a banal yet incredibly powerful statement that made him smile.

Loki's hand travelled long her arm, touching her shoulder untill it reached her cheek. He traced her cheekbone. "What have I done to deserve you?" He asked, his voice almost shaking. He still couldn't fully comprehend how happy he felt: for the first time in his life, everything was just okay. She chuckled, her arms crossing over his shoulders to pull him closer. She slowly pressed her lips on his, her hands caressing the back of his head while he kissed her back. She smiled between a kiss and another, her eyes slowly opening. "Let me paint your nails." She said all of a sudden,her hand grabbing his. Loki frowned, his lips curving into a smile. "What?" He asked, mostly because he had never heard of such a thing. She laughed and tilted her head. "Your nails, I want to put colour on them." She explained and he raised an eyebrow. "And why is that so, my love?" He asked while staring at his nail. She shrugged while placing a quick kiss on his lips. "Just for fun." She said and immediately stood up, excitement leading her to her bedroom. Loki smiled while looking at her, he loved when she was so joyful. She came back holding a shoe box and sat in front of him. "So," she said and opened the box. Loki looked inside and saw at least twenty little bottles filled with different colours. "Pick a colour." She invited him and he caressed his chin,small wrinkles appearing on his forehead. "Okay, I'll let you do this," he said and looked at her. "Only if I can paint yours too. It's a good compromise." He concluded. Y/n chuckled and immediately nodded. "Deal! I'll go for black, then." She said while picking the small black bottle. Loki scanned the box and finally smirked. "And I'll go for green." He said and passed her a small green bottle. She shook her head and smiled. "Obviously." She said and took his hand.

She showed him how to do it, cautiously painting every single nail while making sure to be precise. Loki analyzed her movement, a fascinated expression on his face, he had never seen something similar before. "Done." She finally said, a satisfied smirk on her face. Loki raised his hands and looked at them, he smiled. "I like this, thank you, Pet." He said and tried to caress her, but she took his wrist. "No babe, you will ruin it. You must wait for it to dry." She explained and he frowned while nodding. "Uhm, for how long?" He asked and she shrugged. "For ten minutes, it's bit hot today so it will take more time." She said and he nodded, then he suddenly closed his eyes and she realised that he was about to make magic. His hands turned blue for a couple of second, his powers as a frost giant made the nail polish dry in the blink of an eye. He grinned, showing his hand to her. "Genial." She said and he nodded. "How do I look?" He asked while raising both of his hands and showing them to her. She tilted her head and smiled. "Hot, as always." She simply said and he got a little shy but smirked.

"My turn now." He said and she gave him her hand. He did his best to be as precise as he could and managed to perfectly pain her nails, the black fully covering the nail without any sign of smudging. She look at her nail and smiled. "Is there something the God of Mischief cannot do?" She asked and he slightly blushed while holding her hands with his while freezing them. The nail polish dried in a second. She smiled while crossing her arms over his shoulders. "Thank you." She whispered and he shrugged. "It was fun." He said and she shook her head. "Not for this. For letting me do this, you always let me do the silly little things." She said, her smile melting his heart. He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and looked at her in her eyes. "I love seeing you happy, Pet, it makes me happy too." He concluded, his voice soft and his eyes stuck into hers.

She smiled, her stomach filling with butterflies. "I'm happy when I'm with you." She said, her finger tracing his lower lip. He shrugged while pulling her closer. "Then I'm not going anywhere." He concluded before kissing her again.

[austarus]

Nash Wells x Reader - Prodigal Son (1/4)

*A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.

**Please don’t forget to comment, like, and reblog. It means a lot to content creators of all kinds!

***I’d also like to thank @grimtamlain-writes​ for being my beta reader.

Also, it is my birthday today :)

Word Count: 6335

Part 2    Part 3   Part 4

MASTERLIST

A deep breath left your lips as your eyes scanned your image in the full-length mirror. With sagged shoulders, your thoughts swirled in your mind. He won’t know. You stood exposed in your bedroom, your skin marred here and there. Your toes slightly curled as a chill ran down your spine. Some marks were light, faded while others took on a deeper pigmentation due to the degree of damage. It felt as if lead had been emptied out in your head, causing the world to spin slightly. You heard your heart beat loudly in your body as silence remained a guest in your bathroom. Your fingers ran over the newest scar along your upper arm, equivalent exchange to using your powers. Nash must never know. The scar was still tender, contrasting from your normal skin tissue. The pain had dulled over a few hours, but a sting will occur when the skin is stretched a certain way due to movement. I wonder… what would he think if he knew? Would he be repulsed? Shaking your head from those thoughts you turned the shower nozzle to a decent temperature and stepped in. The warm water did little to settle your mind from wandering back to the man who unknowingly swooped in and stole your heart like another one of his treasures. The cocky bastard.

Starting to wash your hair, your brain reflected on the time since the so-called myth-buster set a grappling line onto Earth-1. The target of his next expedition. Since day one, Nash had been getting himself into all kinds of trouble, even going as far as bartering with Team Flash. It was no secret that he had bugged you, Barry, and Cisco, which had allowed him to confront you about your healing powers after getting what he needed from the two men regarding Ramsey’s cure. Nash had gambled with your secret in a way, the deal had been that you would accompany him if he were to get injured on his personal escapades and in return, he would not divulge your secret to the others. In a way, you knew that even if he did Barry would have his own intentions on utilizing your healing powers. The pain he would sustain was something your body was not ready to handle; something that you were not mentally prepared for. So you kept quiet. Could you have taken the meta cure Cisco and Caitlin had developed? Sure, but then you’d personally lose that little uniqueness to you since obtaining them. You were still trying to understand your powers, if the team were to know then…  No one can know – this is the only way I can at least be around him. Sure, the cocky bastard can rub you the wrong way, but that didn’t mean that you hadn’t enjoyed every second of his presence.

Another sigh left you as you started applying your body scrub and conditioner. Droplets of water hung on your eyelashes as you scrubbed away the remnants of yesterday. What Nash didn’t know, didn’t see, was that every time you healed him it took an equivalent toll on your own body. Your gift was not only to alleviate wounds, but the pain and damage would be exacted on yourself. It was as if the empathy in your body had strengthened to such a crippling degree. Stepping out of the shower, you tied a towel around yourself to dry your body while throwing one around your hair in a towel turban. You didn’t want to look in the mirror again as you passed by the sink with your clothes clutched in your hand. Mirrors can lie, they can twist whatever image is already presented to them. At this point, you’d lost count of the number of scars you’d sustained, but never the origin of them.

All signs pointed to Nash, after all.

***

You tried to not touch the mossy walls of Karuin’s Citadel, wary of any hidden traps that were concealed behind the aged stone walls. It was one of the harder lessons you had picked up from being around Nash. Once you had mistakenly set off a trap of poisoned senbons cutting the air while excavating a hidden cavern in the woods near the old mines that resided just on the outskirts of the city’s forest. In all fairness, it was pretty clever - Senbons are metal needles with a point at both ends. They often serve a medical purpose, being used to strike acupuncture points. They have little killing power but can be thrown with great accuracy to target pressure points in a deadly manner. Poison just makes any sharp object just as lethal. Water continued to drip here and there through the cracked ceiling. Casting your eyes upward, you wondered if the limestone walls caved, would Nash have a calculated escape? Or would he just smoke bomb you and himself away? You flinched and gasped, your head snapped back as a droplet had fallen on your nose. The cold water stung your skin. Nash threw a look back at you over his shoulder, that trademark smirk on his face. His eyes twinkled in delight at how you hesitated with every movement as you surveyed your surroundings. Nash resisted the urge to laugh with all his might instead he opted for a sly raised eyebrow. His amused look made your blood boil as well as causing your insides to do a little acrobatic flip. The smirk gave him a more rugged look with the stubble and all. Doesn’t alleviate the fact that he does piss you off.

“Careful, wouldn’t want a repeat of last time,” the explorer snickered to himself, his mind mentally going through the map he had memorized to obtain the last relic to get to The Monitor. Then all he’d need was for Allegra to use her UV powers to reveal the hidden stone engravings atop the gateway to The Monitor.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huffed out as you trudged along with your own flashlight. This place gave you the creeps even with Nash accompanying you. You tried not to look back into the suffocating darkness that trailed after you.

“Just admit it, amare.”

“Never.”

“You’re being too stubborn.”

“Well, you knew what you were signing up for when we made that deal.”

“I know you’re stubborn, you even refuse to grow.”

You pushed down the urge to throw a rock at his head. Oh, if you could you’d knock this trick-ass motherfucker unconscious and drag him back to the Labs to put him in his place. You continued to follow him until you caught up beside the brown-haired doppelganger. “Watch your tone Nash, or else you’ll be crawling back home with more than a few broken bones.” You really wanted to smack that smirk off his face.

Oh, a threat. Bellus, the kitty has claws. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. We have an agreement, remember?”

“Our deal was that I accompany you, it never specified that I should heal you whenever your dumbass does something reckless. Just because I have regenerative powers does not mean that I’m obligated to use them on you.”

“Ah, the technicalities of a bargain. You’ll heal me.”

“Enlighten me. Just how are you so sure about that?”

“Because you and I both know that there’s too much empathy in your heart to neglect someone like me.”

“Yeah, well it’s running thin with you around and so is my patience.”

“Dumb bunny,” he pointed at you as the two of you neared the end of the corridor before pointing back at himself. “Sly fox.”

“You’re just an asshole, Nash.” 

That only made him chuckle, the deep tone tickled your insides. Nash really got a kick from pestering you. Yeah, he bugged the others to get what he needed done, but you sparked his interest even more. He would never admit that out loud or that he might prefer your presence to Cisco’s and Frost. A yawn escaped you as Nash pushed a few points on the wall to trigger the stone to fold inwards. A low screech felt as if it echoed throughout the citadel; it made the hair on your arms stand as if someone were clawing at a chalkboard. You both coughed a bit as dust particles flew everywhere while shielding your eyes. The sequence had revealed a covert room once the dust had settled, dim light from above shining in the vacant area. It seemed to be sunlight from an ancient skylight window, though metal bars had barricaded it from intruders. Nash held out a hand in front of you to prevent you from stepping further into the room. You sent him a questioning look only for the explorer to disregard it. You noted how his playful expression had altered to one of seriousness – Nash was in his zone. Eyebrows furrowed and lips drawn thinly as he calculated his next move. You nibbled on your bottom lip at his look of concentration. His blue eyes scanned the area, raising his other arm and programming his gauntlet to scan the vacancy. Can never be too careful. The gauntlet continued to ping at a low one as the blue laser coursed through the room before pinging rapidly in a single area. Both your gaze and his landed to the corner of the room that was opposite to where you both stood. 

Reprogramming the gauntlet, the Wells doppelganger turned to you. His baby blue hues glimmered in the faint light with an odd emotion. “Stay here and don’t touch anything,” Nash pressed something into the palm of your hand before letting go. It was a red crystal he carried so often. All seriousness had dispersed from Nash’s demeanor, instead a witty smile had laced itself onto his features. Non possum ferre ut quid tibi contingat.

“That sounds like the story of my life, but go on,” you muttered that first part to yourself. Now it was Nash’s turn to be confused, but you shooed him with your free hand mockingly as your other hand gripped the crystal. “I’ll be right here when you come back with bullet holes or something and an ‘I told you so’.” Pulling out your phone, you had every intent to distract yourself a bit from watching Nash as he worked away to obtain the relic. No signal, damn. Putting your phone away, you looked on into the room. It seemed like an average stone room. Some bones here and there, dirt everywhere. Rocks and pebbles and, what do you know, more rocks. Shifting your gaze to the fiery-colored gem, you wondered why he’d give you something he’s adamantly held onto. It didn’t take a mastermind to figure out that he valued such a thing. Was there a story behind it? Had someone he loved given it to him? Thoughts of Nash annoying you came to mind along with that stupid smirk that made your gut wrench. Your fingers ran over the crevices and formation of the stone. The velvet color hypnotized you as you stared into your reflection.

Lost in thought, you neglected to hear a trap being sprung right as the adventurer started stepping back towards you, relic in hand. Your body froze as you witnessed the man stop in place, a look of silent distress as the blood drained from his face – his back arched before Nash began crumpling to the ground. A rusted arrow protruded from his back as he had fallen forward. You wasted no time to catch him, screaming his name out as you moved. His body had collided with yours with great force as if his body had been weighed down by cement. You did your best to lower him. A curse left you as he leaned against you while you stayed on your knees, Nash was starting to sweat; your eyes narrowed at the arrow that no doubt had potent poison remnants from hundreds of years ago. Puffs of air left him rigid in your arms, his airways were constricting under the poison’s influence. Propping Nash to lean his side against the stone door frame, you maneuvered yourself to his back region. You knew what you had to do as you surveyed the weapon – it still seemed finely made to not break.

“Nash, I’m going to take the arrow out,” You stated even though you know he wasn’t really hearing you right now. “Then I’ll stop the bleeding before it gets too much.” Nash mumbled something, but your ears couldn’t catch it. You only hoped that he was prepared for what’s to come. “This is going to hurt a lot,” you took in a sharp breath and Nash braced himself as you carefully extracted the arrow from his back. Blood gushed out, wanting to trickle down his back and already staining his shirt and jacket; a squelching noise echoed in the room along with Nash’s rasped breaths. Caitlin’s going to need to do a CT around his spine. Luckily, it didn’t directly hit his spine. Right as you pulled the arrow, your green healing energy exuded from your other hand as you quickly tried to seal up the wound. He was right, you wouldn’t let him bleed out on you. Not now, not ever. You suppressed a yelp as the pain began to bite at you, a ragged breath left you as you continued to siphon off his pain and accelerate the cell’s regeneration around the area. Your vision started to blur right as Nash’s cleared up. It didn’t take long to seal the wound and reconnect the severed nerves in the injured region. The adventurer’s breathing fell back into a regulated pace.

While the impact of the arrow had been swift to target Nash, the equivalent exchange was slow – dreadful because you can feel every particle in that given region begin to rip apart. Blinking a few times, you bit down hard on your lower lip to stop from giving the brown-haired man any signs to suspect anything. But it was proving to be a difficult task as Nash straightened up from where he sat, and your body had begun to numb. The ache in your body had been too much; your immune system screamed in agony. Your knee slipped under you; dizziness confounded your senses and the blood on your hands was the last thing you saw before you heard Nash say your name.

Nash’s eyes went wide as you fell limp against him, blood stained his gloved hands; your blood. Panic welled up inside him. “No,” he whispered to no one but himself. “No no no no, don’t. Don’t do this to me.” Not again. It was hard to breathe again, your lifeless body in his arms. Nash swallowed thickly as he tried to wake you up. The fire you had held in your eyes had dulled. Guilt and fear and adrenaline fueled him – the next minutes all felt like a blur. One moment Nash was at the Citadel with you and the next he was at the Labs’ med bay, Cisco screaming at him while Caitlin did her best to stop the bleeding and to subside the mimic pain from a poison that wasn’t even in your system initially. Turns out, you had not just healed him and mimicked the arrow wound to your body, but you had sapped the poison from his being into your own body. There was so much strain on your body that you passed out from the pain – you weren’t dead, but… It didn’t take long for Frost to come out, threats spewing from her mouth as Caitlin anchored her chilled personality from throwing razor-sharp icicles at the multiversal man.

Gritting his teeth, Nash threw your unconscious body one last look before storming out. The guilt never stopped as Nash ran from the labs. He needed a place to clear his head, but even when he found one you riddled his thoughts. How could she have not said anything? And she calls me the reckless one. Stupid. Nash took a rock and flung it into the water with all his might. The cold air did nothing to stifle his fiery temper. It’s not my fault that she didn’t say anything. This is on her. All on her. 100%. She knew what she was capable of. What would happen, the repercussions of her abilities. She could have said ‘no’. Droplets of drizzle lightly soaked the adventurer. But she didn’t. Pertinax mulier. He was mad – beyond mad. Nash was irritated and pissed off. He was pissed at you for not saying anything, at the others for getting on his case for a technicality that he wasn’t aware of, and more importantly at himself. Because to a degree, he had to an extent threatened to blackmail you with your own secret. One that you had kept hidden from the others. But a thought slapped Nash right across the face as he chucked another rock into the lake. How many times have I turned a blind eye to all the pain I had caused her? Moment after moment surfaced to his mind of the times, she had mended him – his emergency medic that can heal even broken bones and the most delicate of wounds. Nash’s blood froze as goosebumps ran over his skin. How many times had she gone home with my injuries? The pebble in his hand fell from his grip at the realization. The explorer’s heart squeezed tightly. Time after time he had hurt you, but you stayed. Why? If I hadn’t pushed, she would have been safe. If I hadn’t gotten cocky and involved and- It was my… Nash stopped that thought from continuing, but his subconscious made the connection. Nash rubbed his face hard only to look at the dried blood on his gloves. Blood that wasn’t his. A curse left him. The Wells doppelganger gave the city one last look over his shoulder before he trudged on.

You were the last person he wanted to see.

***

Another sigh left your lips, on instinct you covered your mouth with the back of your hand as you ignored Lex Luthor’s presence. He just wouldn’t shut up about Kal and Kara. Your fingers nimbly moved over the panel on the Waverider as you tracked the Anti-matter that continued to fester in the multiverse, but your thoughts never stopped swirling in your head. Nash. Your shoulders sagged as you continued to work away while the others were out looking for the rest of the Paragons. Rubbing your tired eyes, you stilled your other hand and just let it rest on the console. You hadn’t seen him since you’d woken up from healing him, cursing yourself for passing out and not holding on a little longer. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you were 100% certain that he hated you. Why else had he made little to no effort in taking you back on his crusade? He knew and he was disgusted. You cracked your neck. Everyone had their secrets, that didn’t mean that certain parties were going to agree with the type of information that was withheld. Cisco and Caitlin gave you hell when you were feeling ready to talk. Since then, they were vehement that you do not use your powers until Crisis blew over for the team to figure out just exactly what to do with it. One way or another, it was something you had to face – you were just hoping to prolong the wait even more. Unfortunately, you had to face it with the notion of Nash’s hate buried in your heart. Now with Crisis unleashed and the multiverse eroding, you couldn’t doubt the slight panic and concern for the explorer who had accidentally let the Anti-monitor loose. While the other heroes believed the geological doppelganger had betrayed them by doing so, you couldn’t help but think there was more to his side of the story.  Maybe you were just naïve enough to be blinded by your feelings for him regarding the matter of Crisis. Maybe not…

The panel you faced started beeping, your eyes widened in terror as you watched the Anti-matter descend on a new earth, one that you were all too familiar with and it’s two prime inhabitants. Earth-2. “No…” Your body felt numb as the earth collapsed in a matter of seconds, disbelief and despair written on your features. Harry and Jesse… You thought Cisco and Frost had at least breached over to retrieve them. Sherloque’s Earth was already gone, so why not try to get to Harry and Jesse before it was too late? Doing a quick scan, no one on the ship resonated with the Earth-2 signature frequency that Harry used to bug Cisco about. Goosebumps ran down your arms as your heart throbbed. You and Team Flash had been robbed of your two greatest friends and assets to the superhero cadre. You frowned to yourself as Gideon alerted everyone to return to the main operations room. Conflicted thoughts muddled your brain as you started walking. Nash isn’t that stupid to blindly trust such an entity, right? I mean, something must have happened – he’s smarter than that, more careful and meticulous with his course of actions. It wouldn’t completely be an anomaly if he was manipulated somehow... Straightening your back, your spine cracked a bit before you headed over. Once you entered the main area you froze in place as your eyes landed on the man you knew all too well clad in green armor with gold trims, a flowing emerald green cape hung behind him mockingly. It was as if to say he was no hero. The dark-haired man hung off to the side with humbled form – no hint of playfulness nor cockiness that he normally carried around with him. Instead, Nash carried the air of sorrow and regret. A breath of relief escaped you quietly as your body moved, making a beeline for him while everyone else were huddled in their own groups. They paid you no mind.

You couldn’t stop yourself. “Nash,” you whispered and reached out, your fingers grazed the man’s stubbly cheek causing him to flinch from your touch and be brought back to reality. The subtle movement had your heart twisting in your chest as Nash watched you cautiously. He licked his lips as he eyed you, a sensation of guilt stirred up inside him, but he couldn’t recall as to why he felt this way. Slowly, you retracted your hand as hurt sifted through you like knives. You tried to push it away with the idea that maybe he is repulsed by you.

“I’m not Nash.” He started, his eyes avoiding yours as he continued, “My name is Pariah, I have no recollection of being Nash – just the images of the bearing witness to the multiverses collapse because of the gamble I took in unleashing the Anti-monitor.”

“…” That means… he doesn’t remember that he hates me, which I’m still sure he does. I honestly don’t know if this is a good thing or not.

“I’m sorry,” Pariah couldn’t help but whisper the apology in a low voice, his blue eyes remained firmly downcast as he balled his fists at his sides.

Memories or not... “No,” you retorted lowly with a defiant look to which the brown-haired man snapped his gaze right back at you. His blue eyes were slightly wide with surprise while you frowned. Pariah raised an eyebrow at you with a confused look, but you remained firm with your position standing fully right in front of him. I’m not letting you go this time. The beating of your heart was loud in your ears. The created entity easily towered over you, the thought causing a peculiar feeling to arise as the memories wished to resurface, but to no avail. If the multiverse were to truly end, then I want us to be beside each other in our final moments. Regrets or not. Secrets or not.

“No?”

“No, you’ll always be Nash. With or without your memories. That’s who you are.”

“Don’t be so stubborn.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at Nash’s huff of irritation. “See? That’s something the Nash I know would say.” Pariah was not amused, but the little laugh you made had the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. “Takes one to know one, after all,” you beamed a small smile at Nash. His insides felt warm, a feeling he wasn’t used to since waking up in this form. But that feeling was short-lived as he heard that haunting drawl at the back of his mind.

“I have to go.”

“What?”

“I’m being called to,” was all Nash said to explain himself as he turned from you and took a step away. No one would notice his absence, for he had to go watch another earth die because of his carelessness, but you wouldn’t let him escape. Your fingers found the easiest thing to grab, his emerald green cape. Right as you had touched his cloak an odd sensation ran through you as the sight in front of you rapidly changed to a snowy, yet desolate area. The air was stiff and chilled as light snow fell. A shiver ran down your spine as your hands instantly rubbed your arms for warmth. You wished for something warmer. The air was not crisp like in the winter season. No, it held a certain weight in this realm, one that particularly clung to your being as if to purposefully tether you down like prey that has fallen in the predators trap. Nash looked at you with fright in his eyes as he rounded to you, snow crunching with each step.

“What did you do?”

“I-”

“You shouldn’t have come, I can’t pro-”

“I wasn’t just going to leave you to face him alone, Nash.”

“Stop calling me that, I’m not Nash.”

“Yes, you are, you stubborn cocky bastard of a man!” You were both getting all up in each other’s faces. The fiery emotion that you held in your eyes was enough for a memory to slip out. The Citadel. He remembers the conversation you two had, how you and he would spitfire – how he would intentionally push your buttons in amusement to gauge your every reaction just to be close to you. “No one deserves to face this alone.” Pariah shook his head in frustration with a tight look, but before he could say anything another harsh shiver ran through you as your body shook in the cold temperatures. The formed entity’s eyes softened as he moved by impulse. He took off his long cape and wrapped it around your shoulders, your fingers gripped at it tightly in front of you as a prominent breeze blew by. Pariah wasn’t too bothered by the chilled wind seeing as his body channeled a great amount of energy, but you on the other hand, would not be able to handle it.

I need to start a fire for her. 

Looking up, Pariah scanned the area to find some discarded wood and giant oak logs, with a snap of his fingers he had arranged the smaller fragments of wood in a way that would keep a flame going while the larger oak would be used as makeshift seats in this voided domain that belonged to the Anti-monitor. Using his powers once more, the entity caused a willful fire to take hold of the wood. It burned brightly. You watched the dark-haired man with awe as you padded closer – the warmth of the fire washing over you. Nash took a seat on the oak log to which you made it to sit next to Nash only for him to scoot away from you a few seconds later. Rolling your eyes, you scooted closer… only for him to scoot away and once more until he got up with a rough sigh and stepped towards the fire. You got nothing. No retort, no witty comment. Nothing. You exhaled a sad breath, instead your eyes settled on the fire that licked up the air like it was nothing. Maybe he does remember. You pushed the bile that had compiled at the back of your throat. No time for that when the multiverse was ending.

Your bottom lip quivered for a moment before you broke the silence in the realm you were currently in, “Do you hate me?”

Nash stopped abruptly in his tracks at your quiet question. His hand that was tangled in his hair slowly came beside him as he turned to face you. You didn’t meet his eyes. “I don’t recall any reason to feel such a thing towards you.”

“Not yet anyway,” you mumbled to yourself, gripping the cloak closer to you, this time with your hands inside the cloak rather than outside.

He had caught what you had murmured but said nothing. Pariah pressed his lips into a thin line, silently contemplating exactly why you would think such a thing. The only memory that comes to his mind was the vague one from the Citadel. The way he’d look at you, trying to elicit a response, trying to at least see that smile – to be a reason for that smile or pout. Other than that. Nothing, just a blank slate in his mind thanks to the Anti-monitor’s tampering. Pariah stepped closer to you, still standing while you sat on the cold log. “You have powers, do you not?”

There it is. You sent him a bitter-ish look at the mention.  He’s an entity now so he knows. That’s how The Monitor knew of Cisco’s powers and restored them. “Yeah?”

“Use them to regenerate the heat and energy in your cells.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“How so?”

“Because it just doesn’t.”

“Impossible, there’s always a reason. Cause and effect, you-”

“No, there’s a reason why I kept it from you in the first place, Nash.” Those words fell out of your lips and you just bolted up and walked away. A memory graced Nash but it didn’t dwell on it too long before going after you. When he was close enough, he grabbed you by the arm and stopped you. Twisting around, all Pariah saw was the pain in your eyes as tears pooled there, threatening to spill. The entity mulled over the memory, his mind putting two and two together at the revelation of the consequences to your ability as well as the effect of his actions in avoiding you. Now, Pariah understood your question and slightly comprehended those memories with the odd feelings he’s been having in his chest. “I don’t hate you.” The brown-haired man clearly remembers the thoughts he had on that day, how he claimed it wasn’t his fault… yet if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have been in that predicament. In a way, it was both yours and his fault. You did not speak up and he took advantage of your powers one too many times.

“You should.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m selfish.”

“And you think I wasn’t?” Nash let your arm go gently as he stood tall in front of you. “This is all my fault, that I remember vividly. I… My hubris caused the end of the multiverse, all these lives. They’re lost because of me. Their blood is on my hands.” Your eyes softened at him, how his voice dropped to a rasp at his transgression against humanity. “You’re not selfish.”

You licked your lips and ran your eyes over the lack of scenery once more. “…Do you remember what happened?”

“Regardless of what had happened, I still unleashed The Anti-monitor.”

You took his hand in yours, this time he didn’t flinch or pull away. “But surely you didn’t know, it makes that much of a difference, Nash.” Nash’s eyes met you briefly. “Where were you when we were fighting off Bloodwork and his zombies?”

Pariah only shook his head at your question as if to say he didn’t recall that instance. “All I remember is being in the sewers, a tremor rang out above me and… well The Anti-monitor called to me, making me believe it was The Monitor, the one I had been chasing from Earth to Earth.”

“So, he manipulated you into opening the door.” It wasn’t a question, but a true statement that you had suspected. For what was Nash to gain if he unleashed The Anti-monitor? Nothing. He would be gone too.

“In a way, yes. I fell for his manipulation with the grandeur of wanting to expose a false God. In the end, I became something I never wanted to become,” Pariah huffed as he pulled his hand away to gesture to himself. “I don’t deserve kindness or to be helped. This is my punishment for getting in way over my head.”

“You didn’t know.”

“But that doesn’t excuse what I’ve done.”

“Yes, it does. Had you known would you still have done it? No, because you’re smarter than that, Nash. You take calculated risks; you always know how to get out of a sticky situation.” The more you talked the more the memories came to Nash, particularly ones revolving around you and him. “You’re not the only one who’s been manipulated, so many of us have and no one should fault you for-”

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” You both turned to see The Anti-monitor clapping mockingly at the scene as it fully stopped where the anti-entity stood in the low level snow. You took a defensive step in front of Nash as the evil entity lazily eyed the two of you. The Anti-Monitor laughed in a taunting manner at how you had Pariah’s cape around you. “It seems you have brought yourself a little pet, Pariah.”

“Back off Ugly, and his name is Nash.” You threw a glare at the entity as you spoke, Nash taking hold of your arm as a gesture to stop talking, but you ignored him. Such a persistent woman, the dark-haired man thought to himself.  You would not let this… whatever it is hurt the one your heart reached out for the most. Swallowing thickly, you stood your ground as the entity opened its mouth.

“Delightful. You humans are so… fickle. So fragile. It is so entertaining to watch you all flounder until the last second to save your flawed multiverse. Such flaws will not be permitted in my realm.”

“We will defeat you and you will let Nash go.”

The Anti-monitor merely tutted at you. “My dear, didn’t you hear him. This was all his fault. I simply minded my own imprisonment time.”

“You’re lying, you manipulated him just when you thought the time was right.”

“My fault, his fault – it matters not for the multiverse is slowly becoming mine.” You watched the entity shrug at your accusation. “And you, you will be reduced to nothing.”

“The Paragons will stop you, no matter what; we will not rest.”

“Hiding behind the girl, I see. She… has such vigorous drive, that fiery spirit.” The Anti-monitor narrowed his eyes from Nash to you, a wicked grin on his face. “I wonder what it will take to break her.” Pariah’s eyes widened in mortification, but he could not so much as move a muscle.

“No, stop-”

In a blink of an eye, you were ripped away from your stance in front of Nash. A strained gasp left your throat as The Anti-Monitor held you up in the air. Your hands clawed at the one on you, a hateful and fiery emotion had filled in your eyes. The green cape fell to the snowy ground as you struggled in the entity’s grip. You spit in the Anti-monitor’s face, cursing at him. “You monster, don’t you dare lay a hand on him.” The being wiped it’s face while bringing you down close to meet its gaze, his hold on your neck tightened slightly but not enough to squeeze the life out of you. You forced a harsh look on your face and bared your teeth in a threatening manner; you would not give him the satisfaction of submitting. Nash watched helplessly; The Anti-Monitor had paralyzed him in place to behold what he can unleash upon you. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

“Leave her out of this, this is on my shoulders- just leave her, please-” But the entity ignored the Pariah. Your eyes met Nash’s for a brief moment right as the anti-entity cut him off. Pariah’s heart clenched in his chest; his mind screamed at him to do something. But what could he do? He was powerless yet again while you were getting hurt.

“Your voice is quickly becoming an unpleasantry, something should be done about it.” With ease, The Anti-monitor threw you onto the ground. Your body skidded on the snow, your clothes becoming wet as you ended up stopping by Nash’s feet. The entity called forth anti-matter; the red-white energy source circled around your throat and entered your body. You gasped and choked and coughed; your vision blurred at the searing pain. Only when the anti-matter had fully resided in your body had Pariah been able to move. Instantly, the Wells doppelganger dropped to his knees and held you to himself with wild eyes – assessing the damage that had been done. Your throat felt as if it had been cemented. It hurt to swallow your saliva and blood. “There, now the little Pariah will not rebel against my will.” You opened your mouth, but no coherent sounds came out. You brought a hand up to your throat, but not a word or a syllable. Nash saw the panic beheld in your eyes, the tear that fell. Pariah felt his heart shrivel at your evident pain. He wouldn’t be able to hear you speak again. The Anti-monitor all but snickered maniacally before waving a hand in the air.

“Now begone.”

***Latin Translations (From Google Translate)***

Amare - Love

Bellus - Cute

Non possum ferre ut quid tibi contingat. - I can't bear to let something happen to you.

Pertinax mulier - Stubborn Woman

[circumstellars]

Hello everyone! I’ve just about hit 500 followers here on @circumstellars​ and I’m super grateful to everyone who interacts with my blog, content and supports my fandom endeavours. It’s been fun, and life-saving in a way really, these past few months, as I struggle with isolation over a year long. Thank you.

I wanted to be able to do a giveaway on my little blog for a long time, but as most of you know I don’t have deep pockets (or, well any pockets), but through doing graphic commissions for this wonderful community, I have decided I can spare just a few from my own contributions to be able to give back to you all. After all gif giveaways don’t cut it sadly. So I’m bucked up now, I’m just gonna go for it! It’s all thanks to the generous members in our wonderful fandom. This way I can show my deep appreciation for content creators, and the fans who engage with their art.

☆  ☆  ☆  ☆  ☆

THE GIVEAWAY

I will be glad to pay for the commission of a chibi-style TUA art of the winner's choice by the amazing artist we all know and love @imrights​ (@imrights via twitter). (16 000 KRW price threshold). 

They are an incredible Korean-based fandom artist for TUA! They have brought me a lot of joy with their art, and I’m sure many of you too. Their little chibi style commissions are both very cute and affordable, so I think it would be nice to show support to both this incredible artist, and the fan who wins the commission. (They are Klaus-centric, so keep this in mind! They draw for Klaus, Klave and Kliego primarily.) Visit their blog or twitter and have a look at their cute and amazing arts!

This giveaway contest will be open for 2 weeks, from today March 31, 2021 to April 14, 2021. 

THE RULES

This if a follower-based event. I’m doing this to celebrate my local community here online, and the people who keep my blog running and my fingers giffin’. So of course, you must be a follower of @circumstellars​. 

You must be over the age of 18 to participate. In an adult fandom for an adult show about adult characters in adult relationships, I just feel most comfortable with adult participants in this giveaway. Please respect my boundaries on this. :))

You must like and reblog this post at least once for entry! You can reblog multiple times but once you’ve done it once I’ll consider it as an entry.

I will use RNG (random number generator) to select the winner, to make sure it’s blind, equal-opportunity and unbiased.

I will contact the winner via tumblr after announcing who won the giveaway, and will sort out what the commission request is, and then I will send it to the artist along with payment! 

Bullies or fandom segregationists need not apply. This is supposed to be a fandom-love event to celebrate what brings us together, as with much of what I do. If you’ve been notably hateful to others in the past for whatever arbitrary reason, and I happen to see/know it, I’ll just remove your entry from the count. Be kind to one another! :3

*In the unexpected unavailability of imrights, I’ll choose another fandom artist with a comparable commission fee I can manage.

That’s all there is to it! If you have questions just ask, and I’ll answer or clarify as needed. I haven’t been doing well irl, and I’m really excited to be able to do this, I think it will bring a lot of positivity and good vibes all around. Thanks guys, I hope you enjoy this! As always, be safe, be well, be good.

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

But You’re Tall

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: Light language, implied periods stuff, flashbacks involve mentions of death, angst, fluff, and more fluff

Summary: it’s that time of the month, and a certain craving has hit the reader. But a certain Winchester stored the goods too high for the petite hunter.

Word Count: 1,171

Mobile Masterlist

A/N: This a total rewrite of the original fiction by the same name. Hope this one’s better. Still my first one Sam x Reader story ever, not a big Sam girl as I am a Dean girl. 😉

~

She laid in her room, with the warm pad across her abdomen to wait out the pain. Meds never helped, no matter how dull the ache she felt. Heat always was the next best thing. Whether it’d come from the heating pad, an electric blanket or her furnace of a boyfriend.

Sam Winchester. Though shy when it came to girl talk, and girl problems. He never did like seeing her in pain or suffering. He always had a soft spot for her.

He figured it was getting close to being that time again.

‘Heading out on a supply run, need anything?’ he texted her.

‘I’m good on pads, if that’s what you’re asking.’ She sent back.

‘That, and are you feeling snackish?’ he asks.

‘You just had to bring up food…’ she texted.

Sam smiled at the text, imaging her getting frustrated that she is experiencing a craving but can’t pinpoint what craving it is.

‘Chocolate…and peanuts…m&m’s…both…something sweet and salty.’ She texted.

Sam chuckles. ‘Alright, be back in a jiffy.’ He texts.

‘Be safe.’ She texts back.

She always had the need to text or even wish someone to be safe when they head out. Anything could happen out there, even for the average Joe.

“Dean, I’m heading out on a supply run, be back in a sec.” Sam shouted.

“Alright, be safe.” Dean shouts back.

Even she’s grown on to the older Winchester in some ways. She’s more of a little sister to him. Sure he had the pretty face, sexy hair and bod, but there was something about Sam. Maybe it was how soft he can be, once you got to know him. Dean was just never gonna open up, but Sam, opened up when he knew he needed her the most.

One bad hunt that reminded Sam of someone important in his life.

The victim he was trying to safe, though too far gone to be saved, in his last moments wished he told his girlfriend he loved her and wanted to marry her. Sad he never could pop the question, as he pulled out the velvet box from his pocket to show Sam and Dean.

They didn’t know of a good way to tell her, though they told her of his passing. They never mentioned his feelings towards her. Sure they told her he loved her very much. And wanted to tell her those things in person. As she cried to the news, they figured that was enough to tell her. Salted and burned his remains and headed home.

Sam, was quiet. Dean too, but he had his own way with dealing. Even Sam knew it wasn’t healthy. Sure he’d join his brother in drinking away their feelings, but Dean knew. The big brother knew what his brother wanted.

“Go to her man.” He told him. “You know you want her. And I know she wants you. Go.” He told him kindly.

Sam just simply nodded, taking his glass of half drunk whisky with him. She sat on her bed, watching her favorite series on Netflix. She saw his tall broad figure in the doorway, sure she wanted to watch her show but she was curious why he was in her room. Looking worse for the wear. Tearing her attention away from the TV.

“Sam, are you okay?” she asks. He shook his head.

“Bad hunt, we lost a victim today.” He says. Walking into her room, taking a seat at the edge of her bed.

“You know you can’t save them all, at least their not suffering anymore.” She says. Sitting next to him.

“That’s…that’s true. But, it was something he said that is bugging me.” He said. She cocks her head, now her full attention on him.

“He was in love with his girlfriend, he wanted to pop the question. He had the ring on him and everything. But what the demon did to him, he wasn’t going to make it.” Sam explained.

“Sammy,” she says softly. Placing a hand on his lap.

“It tore at me, that I have someone in my life, that I want her to know how I feel about her, about us.” He says.

“Who is she?” she asks.

In that instance, Sam took the dive. His lips met hers in a soft, sweet, tender kiss. Lapping over and over, tongues dancing over one another. Taking each other’s breath away. He’s the first to pull away.

“You.” He says. “I love you Y/N, and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to think about losing you. I want you all to myself.” He adds.

She smiles, before kissing his lips again with a quick and sure kiss.

“Then I’m all yours gigantor.” She says. Earning a chuckle from the young Winchester.

The memory still hangs fresh in their minds. Even in the moments they fight and argue, in the moments they needed to be reminded of what’s more important.

As another cramp rips through her middle, the craving for chocolate sounded like the best option to relieve herself of this hellish nightmare of her uterus ripping itself in half.

She get’s up, heading to the kitchen.

Sam should have been back a long time ago. She thought. Eyeing the cabinet she always stored her chocolates. And there she see’s the bags of chocolates. He got the good stuff too. Mini’s versions of Reece’s, Kit Kats, and a bag of Peanut M&M’s. She steps up on the balls of her feet, getting to her tip toes, but to no avail. She let out a frustrated growl.

“Dammit Sam.” She mutters under her breath. She grabs her phone. Texting the giant man.

‘Sam.’ She texts.

‘Something tells me you’re not happy, what’s wrong munchkin?’ He texts back.

‘You put the chocolates too high up, I can’t reach.’ She texts him.

‘Just grab a chair, I’m busy researching.’ He texts her.

‘But you’re tall. You’re taller than Dean for crying out loud. Get your lazy ass over here and get my chocolate!’ she texts.

She can hear him chuckling all the way to the kitchen.

“To be fair, Dean put them up there.” Sam says quietly. Grabbing a bag and handing it to her.

“Oh I did not you asshole!” Dean shouts walking by the kitchen.

“You helped me put the groceries away!” Sam says with a smile.

“Yeah, but I didn’t touch her goods, you just did that to see how she would react.” Dean admits.

“Oh did he now?” She says with a knowing grin.

“Oh thanks Dean.” Sam says.

“Guess who’s not getting some when I’m out of this bloody mess.” She says, playfully taking her bag of Kit Kat Mini’s to her room.

“Oh, you’re on your own little brother.” Dean says taking a beer from the fridge and heading back to the library.

Sam grabbing himself a beer, mentally groaning to himself wondering is she serious or is she just messing with him. But only time will tell. When she’s done with mother nature’s bloody nightmare.

~

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU LIKED, IF YOU LIKED IT, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WITH EITHER ASK/REBLOG. FEEDBACK IS FUEL! :)

[A/N: Any fic made by me is mine, please do not copy and paste my stories. All characters belong to Supernatural and that belongs to CW and creator Eric Krepke, this is purely fiction. Don’t steal/copy and paste. Plus Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 12/15/17]

[otterandterrier]

ALL PROMPTS | WEEKLY POSTS | MASTERLISTS

#97 - April 20th, 2019

Happy weekend, fellow shippers!! Check out today’s prompts for inspiration, or share something you’ve been working on!

How does this work?

- You can see the original post here. Basically, this is your weekly chance to produce Han/Leia content, post the latest chapter of your fic, finish that WIP you’ve had lying around for a while, or show some love to creators by making a rec list.

- There are no rules and no requirements other than to have fun and create something positive for the ship. You can write fic, make edits, make art, share meta; any type of Han/Leia content is welcome.

- Since you will be posting your works on your own blogs, you need to include #scoundressaturdays (copy/paste to avoid typos or the post will show up in a different tag) within the first five tags so people can track the tag and see all the posts there.

- If you aren’t a creator or you can’t work on anything this week, you can still join in the fun by reblogging your favourite posts or making rec lists!

- I do ask that since my intention is to make this a fun, positive event for Han/Leia fans, please don’t use the tag for ship/character hate, tragic or messed up content, content that includes Kylo Ren or R/eylo, or personal/unrelated posts.

Why are you posting on Friday?

In case you’ve forgotten and need to get started on making something for tomorrow!! Don’t worry, though: the post will be reblogged on Saturday too.

Will there be prompts?

If you don’t have any works in progress, I will post at least one prompt every week for inspiration. You’re welcome to use them for fic, edits, meta, fanart and interpret them however you want. You can also check and use old prompts!

This week’s prompts are…

- “Do you mind if I move a bit closer? I’m so cold.”

- I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do / So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imagining you

Happy Scoundress Saturday!!

[enberlight]

I posted 8,443 times in 2021

71 posts created (1%)

8372 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 117.9 posts.

I added 735 tags in 2021

#ml comic - 125 posts

#into the void - 98 posts

#best kitty - 88 posts

#linguistics - 87 posts

#ml fic rec - 67 posts

#best birb - 57 posts

#fashion ref - 54 posts

#ml au - 54 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 53 posts

#music - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and can pick up random words in related european languages bc english really did steal from everything and spanish fills in half the blanks

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Interest Query!

I'm curious about what kind of content my art and writing followers are comfortable with and expecting from me.

My ML Mermaid AU, Balancing the Scales, is at a crossroads. Now that intros are handled, Adrien and Marinette will be getting closer. But how close is a question I haven't settled yet.

Do I:

Keep it PG13, no kinky stuff

Fade to black and keep things Implied Only

The above but with the Cut Scenes on my AD account

Just up the rating and bring on the lemons

Similarly, is there any interest in seeing steamy or lemon artwork from me? This would be 3D renders, either in fandom or OC. And aged up obviously. Or is that a Hell No? (Art would end up on my AD Twitter since Tumblr can't even stand exposed forearms.) I would also keep previews on a new AD alt here for those not wanting to see even the crops.

You can answer in the comments or by Ask if you'd rather stay anon.

Thanks!

16 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 16:58:33 GMT

#4

Sleep schedule? Whazzat.

19 notes • Posted 2021-02-06 11:28:55 GMT

#3

If anyone's got good wishes they can send this way, it'd be much appreciated. I'm going through some medical stuff that might turn out to be a permanent disability. I'm hoping it is, at least, treatable. It may be related to the auto accident last December so yay for that /s.

Work is still only part time so if anyone wants to throw a kofi my way for an ML kiss or poly meme, I'm open for those. Regular commission inquiries can go to @caffeinatedmagpie. Follow me there, I'll probably do another giveaway soon.

I have some wheelchair turnaround refs planned for later this month, like the Nino hat. Stay tuned!

31 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 22:18:09 GMT

#2

Zine zine zine zine

Zine zine zine zine

Zine! *vibrates*

@thedjwifizine is imminent

47 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 05:46:55 GMT

#1

Emergency Commissions Open

If anyone is interested in 3D render commissions (human, demon, monster, furry, pet/companion critter), let me know!

I've been on basically $0 income since mid December while I recover from a bad car accident, and have to pay for office upgrades now, due to some changes at my employer. They aren't footing any of the bill for moving my cubicle to my house this week and I need computer equipment and a new desk because one tiny one can't hold two setups (art and work) @.@ They gave us 24 hours notice, I can't pull $300 out of nowhere that fast.

Here's a few examples of work I've done and models I can customize as your own OC. More examples and WIPs over on @caffeinatedmagpie

Drop me a line on @caffeinatedmagpie to discuss piece and prices. My price list isn't up yet (due to delays from the December car accident) but I can explain them.

(First three images are custom modified and painted characters and scenes I've made. Last three collages are types of models I can customize - most humanoid and canid figures can have their features drastically morphed and combined to create all sorts of critters and aliens.)

I am also on Ko-fi as EnberLight.

Small donations are most welcome as I am on unpaid leave for two more months and refrigerators don't fill themselves any more than desks spontaneously manifest. I'll do ML icon packs or something as thank you's for coffees ❤

Much thanks,

Enber (30 January, 2021)

186 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 00:57:51 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →