#(optional can be read that was or just friends)

[andromeda--system]

hey. look at us. yes, you, the person or persons reading this blog right now. you. are. not. broken.

even if youre hurting right now, even if the world is scary, or overwhelming, or exhausting, you are not broken.

even if its painful to get out of bed, you are not broken.

even if your blood family yells at you about all the ways you dont do what you're supposed to, you are not broken.

take it from some folks who grew up in some really shitty circumstances, joy and love can be in store for you, so please just keep living, if not for yourself then for these internet strangers right here who care.

P.S. - oh and if youre not having fun scrolling tumblr right now, put your phone down. go do something else. journal, read, do some hobbies, put on a tv show, go outside and spend time with friends if thats an option. youll thank yourself later for it if you've got the spare spoons to.

[ao3-shenanigans]

How do I search on ao3? Ive just been putting in the fandom I want and hitting go but I have to scroll through like dozens of pages before I find something in the theme/ vibe (? Word idk? I hope you know what i mean) I want

Hi! Great question! This will be a longer answer, so I’ll include a cut:

Ao3 uses a Tag Filtering system, wherein authors include tags on their work and readers can use the website to sort and filter through them to show what they may or may not want to read.

These are tags on a work:

But how do we get there? If we start with just a generic fandom search, we’ll find a button at the top of the page labeled “Filter”. This guy will be our best friend, click it.

By clicking “Filter” a sidebar pops up titled “Search and Filter” it has two main sections to it with several subheadings. These two sections: Include and Exclude achieve similar results but function slightly different.

By clicking on the drop downs under each, a list of common tags will pop up and you are presented with the option of Including or Excluding them from your search.

Include:

- by selecting a tag under Include, you are telling ao3 that you only want to see fics with that tag on it, every fic shown for this search will have that tag

- this is good for narrowing down a lot of fics very quickly, especially if you have something specific in mind

Exclude:

- by checking a tag under Exclude, no fan works with that tag will be shown in your search results

- this is good if you want to browse a larger selection of fics but want to avoid something you’re not fond of 

Selected tags in the Warnings dropdown of the Exclude section look like this:

There is a third section of this sidebar called “More Options” which includes sidebars to set preferences for crossovers, fic completion status, word count, and date updated. It functions much the same as Include and Exclude.

Lastly, make sure to click the “Sort and Filter” button at the bottom of the sidebar so that your selections will be put into effect!

Additional note:

This “Sort and Filter” function can be used when looking at an overall fandom page, or a more specific page like one for a ship paring or an alternate universe!

Hoped this helped and happy fic hunting!

[tateypots]

Save Me A Dance

18+ MDNI

Pairing: Jackson Joel x f!reader

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: Next parts of Collared and To Keep You Safe are coming along nicely, should hopefully have those out next week. Here is something soft and sweet for Christmas Eve (it’s not set at Christmas but never mind).

This is the same pair as To Keep You Safe (Part 1 is here) but can be read as a standalone.

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates and to everyone who doesn’t, I wish you peace and happiness.

Summary: Your patrol partner tells you to save him a dance at the Harvest Festival party.

Warnings: Misogyny (not from Joel), feelings of panic, mutual pining, idiots in love, sexual thoughts, fluff.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Your fingers played absentmindedly with the skirt of your dress. The material so soft and luxurious, worlds away from the ever practical jeans, shirt and boots you typically donned. You felt self-conscious and ridiculous. You’d only agreed to wear it because Maria had begged you to, telling you how great it looked on you. You felt people staring at you and it made you uneasy, even if it was just because it took them a while to recognise you in this infernal dress, your hair loose down your back instead of semi-tamed into a messy braid as usual.

The Jackson harvest celebration was in full swing, the whole town seemingly crammed into the decorated hall. The whole town except the one person you actually wanted to see. Joel, your patrol partner had told you he would be coming, even told you to save him a dance.

This was the first large gathering you had dared to attend since you had arrived in Jackson and it had you on edge. Still not fully out of the habit of needing to be hyper vigilant in all situations, still not entirely believing you were safe. You needed Joel’s presence to calm you. You knew he would have your back no matter what, just like you would have his. You had formed a tight bond in the 6 months since you became his patrol partner. He was one of the few people in town you felt truly comfortable with.

You tried your best to relax, made small talk with your neighbours and acquaintances. No one asked you to dance. You had broken up with your last boyfriend Glenn not long after your arrival and in the time since not one of the single men in Jackson had even glanced your way. And while you weren’t exactly interested in any of them you’d be lying if you said their collective rejection of you as a potential partner didn’t sting just a little, especially in a town with such limited options.

But truthfully you weren’t lonely. Your friendship with Joel was precious to you. He had taught you so much in your time together, and although he could be gruff and brash and impatient at times you knew he cared deeply for those he loved. That he would risk life and limb for anyone in this town, that he had done so on many occasions. That he also had a playful side, buried beneath his menacing exterior. It hadn’t taken you long to slip into an easy camaraderie and from there the roots of friendship had grown strong and deep and now you were a permanent fixture in his life, spending much of your time within the walls with him, Ellie, Tommy and Maria. You had tried to fight the intrusive thoughts that whispered your relationship with Joel could be more than friendship. He was so handsome, so capable, he could have his pick of anyone in Jackson. Half the women in town (and some of the men) were mooning after him. You couldn’t compete with them. And you couldn’t risk losing him by admitting to a stupid crush. So you bottled it up and tried to focus on being his friend, pretending it wasn’t getting harder and harder to ignore.

You were starting to feel overwhelmed, the noise of the music and chatter overlapping, the jostling of bodies against you and the stifling heat in the room leaving you dizzy as your breaths started to become laboured, panic beginning to set in. You stumbled your way to the door, desperate for some fresh air, quiet and space. The cool night air was welcome as you stumbled out into the night, easing some of the restrictive tension you felt around your lungs. You braced yourself against the wall of the building, leaning down with your hands on your knees and taking deep steadying breaths. Where the hell was Joel?!

_____________________________________________

Pacing the floor of his bedroom, Joel was in turmoil. Had been for the last few weeks, since that day on patrol when you’d found an entire stash of medical supplies locked in a storage facility on the outskirts of a nearby town. Needles, syringes, pain meds, bandages and the holy grail, antibiotics, you’d hit the motherlode. Packing everything up and loading the horses had meant your return to Jackson was later than expected, and as you’d neared home you’d turned to him, giddy with the success of the day, the most beautiful smile adorning your face and bathed in the golden light of the sunset. You were breathtaking. Finally spotting the gates come into view you urged your horse into a canter with a laugh, shouting behind you, “keep up old man, lots to unload when we get home,” failing to notice his dumbstruck expression.

He had tried to convince himself that it was just the high from finding those life saving supplies. That he didn’t think of you that way. And he almost had himself convinced until the next time he saw you. Covered in sweat and hay and sawdust from mucking out at the stables, your cheeks flushed with exertion and he thought he’d never seen anyone so beautiful. He was fucked. He didn’t understand why this was happening now. You’d been friends for months and he’d never thought of you like that before. You were far too good for him. Far too precious to him to risk losing you altogether if you found out the depraved thoughts he was having about you. About your body naked and writhing under his, of the noises he could coax out of you, the way you would squeeze his cock as you came apart around him. It was as if that one sun kissed moment had unlocked something in his brain that he could not contain now that that it was free. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t bear the thought of cutting himself off from you. And there was no way you could possibly reciprocate and he couldn’t face losing you

So he tried his best to bury it, carry on as normal, pretend he wasn’t drowning in desire for you. But today, he’d opened his stupid mouth and put his foot right in it. Telling you to save him a dance, like there was any chance he could be that close to you, have you in his arms and ever let you go again. So yeah he was fucked. He was also very late. He knew you’d been nervous about going, that you still struggled to be around large groups. And it was the thought of letting you down, you having to face it alone that finally propelled him out of his front door.

_____________________________________________

You had finally managed to get your breathing under control but your heart was still racing. Leaning back fully against the wall you closed your eyes and tried to calm down. You heard the door open and swing shut.

“Well look who it is.”

Ugh. “Hi Glenn.”

“What’s the matter princess, not having fun?”

“Just getting some air.”

He’d sauntered over to you, leaning his arm against the wall next to you. “That’s a pretty dress princess, who are you getting all dolled up for hm?”

You rolled your eyes, “no one.”

He let out a little chuckle, “that’s right I forgot. No one wants you do they? And it’s going to take more than a little dress to convince them otherwise. I did warn you princess.”

“Fuck off Glenn.” You pushed yourself off the wall, even the overwhelming crowd inside being more appealing than spending any more time with this asshole. His hand shot out and grabbed you by the bicep in a bruising grip. “Don’t you-“

“Is there a problem here?” Joel’s voiced washed over you, his presence soothing your frayed nerves and calming your pounding heart. Glenn dropped your arm and stepped back as Joel sauntered up behind you, his hand coming to rest lightly between your waist and hip. At his touch you visibly relaxed, the tension in your body seeping out of you and dissipating into the quiet night. Glenn clocked it immediately.

“Thought a woman like you had no need of a knight in shining armour,” he snarked at you.

“She ain’t the one who needed saving Glenn. Didn’t want her breaking your wrist, I’ve seen her do worse to men for less out on patrol and I’m too old and tired to be picking up extra patrol shifts cos you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. Now are we done here or do I need to go and tell Maria that you’re hassling women outside the dance hall?”

“We’re done,” he sneered, turning on his heel and stomping back through the door into the hall, slamming it behind him for good measure.

“What the hell did you ever see in him?”

“I was lonely and he was there,” you only half joked.

Joel turned you so you were facing him, his hands coming to settle on your shoulders, “I heard what he said to you. What did he mean he warned you no one would want you?”

Your arms instinctively wrapped around your middle and your gaze fixed on the ground, unable to look at him. You’d never discussed your break up with anyone, it coming so soon after your arrival in Jackson that you didn’t have anyone to confide in at the time. And by the time you and Joel had built a friendship it was old news and never brought up.

“Um, well, you know we broke up the day of the patrol trials,” you spotted Joel nodding in your periphery so you continued, “well, I guess some of the other guys made some comments while we were out and we got into a fight about it when we got back. He said I’d shown him up, made him look weak by being better than him. Told me that men want a woman who needs them to look after and protect them and if I didn’t turn down patrol and take a job in town instead he’d break up with me. That if he did I’d be alone forever because none of the other men here would be interested in having a girlfriend who emasculated them.”

He jostled your shoulders slightly, trying to coax you into looking at him, “that’s absolute nonsense sweetheart.”

You huffed a laugh, “it’s not though, he was right. It’s been 6 months and no one else has shown any interest.”

“What do you mean?”

“Joel, what do you mean, what do I mean?! You know I’ve not been on any dates since I got here, I spend all my time with you and Ellie!”

“Well yeah I knew you hadn’t been on any dates but figured you’d just been turning guys down.”

“Well I haven’t, no one has asked, most of the guys won’t even stick around long enough to have a conversation with me,” you groaned at him, your eyes squeezing shut, the mortification at discussing your undesirability with the one person you wanted to find you desirable burning through you. This night was turning out so much worse than you thought it would. “It’s fine ok, I’m not interested in any of them anyway, it just annoys me when Glenn is right.”

“Honey Glenn ain’t right,” he squeezes your shoulders before sliding his hands down to take hold of yours, “please look at me.”

You let out a deep sigh and look up at him, expecting to see pity written all over his face, instead he looks…sheepish. It’s his turn to sigh now, “I think it might be my fault. I know for a fact that there are plenty of guys here who would be interested in taking you out,” you open your mouth to protest but he shushes you and continues, “I was in the Bison with Tommy, maybe a month after we were first paired for patrol. I overheard some of the guys talking about you, arguing over who would get to be the first to ask you out. A couple of the guys started making crude comments so I stepped in, gave em’ what for, told em’ that you deserved more respect than that. One of em’ kept going, kept sayin’ things he shouldn’t so…so I punched him. Couple o’ times,” he swallowed, hanging his head, “I told em’ if I heard they’d even looked at you the wrong way they’d have to answer to me. But I swear I never meant for them to stay away from you completely, just wanted them to treat you with respect. I’m so, so sorry sweetheart.”

He was so angry with himself. He’d not even thought about it since, never imagining it would lead to you feeling so unwanted and unhappy. Had no idea that Glenn had planted that ugly seed in your head. That his own actions had helped water and tend it allowing it grow and wrap it’s prickly vines around your mind. He braced himself for your anger at his confession, for you to shout at him and tell him to stay away from you. So when you let out a melodic little giggle, his head snapped up in surprise. You had to bite your lip to contain further laughter at the look on his face, your heart so much lighter now. You weren’t completely unwanted and rejected, Joel had stood up for you and perhaps most importantly, Glenn had been wrong.

“Thank you for looking out for me,” you whisper to him, standing on your tip toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, missing the flush that crept across his face in the dim lighting.

“I can talk to the guys, set things straight,” he tells you. The thought of seeing you with someone else left him nauseous but he’d do anything if it made you happy.

You shake your head at him, giving his hands a gentle squeeze, “I meant what I said Joel, I’m not interested in any of them.”

Your wording dances round his brain. In any of them. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he couldn’t make out the individual beats. What if he’s reading this wrong? You’re so close it clouds his senses, lost in you as you look up at him with soft eyes and a gentle little smile.

Without a word he moves towards the door of the hall pulling you with him. You follow him easily with no resistance. Once inside he heads straight for the dancefloor just as the band starts a new song. He pulls you into him, one of his hands still cradling yours as his other settles on the small of your back. He starts to sway you side to side, his eyes never leaving yours as the lyrics start to float through the room.

“Wise men say,

Only fools rush in,

But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

The hand on your back squeezes you tighter, trying to pull you in closer despite there being not a shred of light between your bodies already. Before he even fully realises what he’s doing he’s planting a lingering kiss on your forehead. He waits for you to pull away, for you to tell him he’s got the wrong idea. But instead he feels you let out a deep sigh as your head drops forward onto his chest, eyes closed and your face the picture of contentment. You turn your head slightly to press a little kiss right over his heart before settling your cheek against his chest once more.

“Take my hand,

Take my whole life too,

For I can’t help, falling in love with you.”

He was right. He’ll never be able to let you go. But he doesn’t feel afraid like he thought he would. Because the feel of you against him is right. Feels safe and comforting but at the same time exciting and exhilarating. Because he recognises the feeling that you bring with you now. The feeling that tore down his walls faster than any other person had. That within a few patrol shifts had him sharing his past, his losses, his fears with you like he’d known you his whole life. That brightened his day whenever he knew you would be around.

Home. You felt like home and you always had.

He’d been deluding himself that he’d only recently developed these feelings. The vision of you wrapped in the golden glow of the sunset was just the first time he admitted it to himself. He should have realised the day he knocked two of Dave’s teeth out for being disrespectful about you. He should have realised every time his heart sank when it was time for you to leave after dinner, how his pulse quickened every time he made you laugh.

“Like a river flows,

Surely to the sea,

Darling, so it goes,

Some things are meant to be.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, your chin resting on his chest. He gave you the softest smile that had you melting further into him. Safe. You felt safe at last, the heat from his large hand splayed over your back warming you like a security blanket. You forgot about everything else. About the dangers outside the walls. About Glenn. About all the things you had lost and all the hopes you had given up on. This was exactly where you were supposed to be. Wrapped up in Joel’s arms. And it didn’t matter to you that this was a very public affair, the whole town gathered round, eyeing the pair of you. Tommy and Ellie giddy with excitement, knowing smiles on their faces, relieved you had both finally come to your senses. The town gossips trying to ascertain how they had not seen this coming. Your ex-boyfriend glowering at the two of you on one side of the room and Joel’s ex-girlfriend doing the same on the other. Because it wasn’t just physical safety Joel offered, you were more than capable of taking care of yourself on that front. It was emotional. He knew you better than anyone. Never made you feel self-conscious about the goofier sides of your personality, never ridiculed you for fears and tendencies you knew were irrational. Never made you feel bad for being able to take care of yourself or asked you to make yourself lesser for his comfort. He’d always accepted you as you were, warts and all. You knew he’d protect you with everything he had and you would do the same for him. So no one else’s opinion mattered.

“Take my hand,

Take my whole life too,

For I can’t help, falling in love with you.”

The song ends but Joel doesn’t release you from his hold, his hand remaining steady on your back as he brings the other to gently cup your cheek as his forehead falls to rest against yours. Your eyes drift close and your head turns in his hand to place a soft kiss on his palm.

You twine your arms around his neck and collapse into his chest once again, listening to the steady but rapid beat of his heart. Both of you had completely zoned out the noise of the dance carrying on around you so it is a shock when you feel yourselves being jostled by others on the crowded dancefloor. Snapping back to reality he feels rather than hears you giggling against his chest. He’s all at once overjoyed to feel you against him and pissed that it’s so loud inside the hall that he missed the sound of your laugh. He takes your hand in his and pulls you out into the night.

You don’t even question it as he starts leading you back to his house, you’d follow him anywhere. No words are passed between the two of you as you continue to bask in the high of having Joel’s arms around you.

He keeps waiting for you to come to your senses, to realise you don’t want a miserable old man like him and his heart breaks when you tug on his arm to stop him once you reach the top of Rancher Street. This is it. He braces himself. But instead of pulling away you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your tip toes to reach up and push your lips against his, your tongue swiping at his bottom lip. He immediately grants you access to his mouth, pulling you in close to him, one hand on your back and the other cradling the back of your head. Your kiss is passionate and frantic, you pour everything into it, laying yourself bare for him, and he answers in kind.

When you break the kiss, panting for air you sink back onto your heels and your hands trail to his chest.

“Sorry, couldn’t wait any longer,” you confess to him.

“Don’ need to apologise sweet girl. These lips belong to you, can have em’ whenever you want.”

You bite your lip and smirk up at him, “just your lips?”

“Greedy girl,” he growls out, dropping his hand to pull you closer to him by your ass cheek, squeezing the fleshy globe for good measure making you giggle, “all o’ me darlin’, I’m all yours.”

“And I’m all yours.”

“Good,” he smirks at you. You let out a shriek as he bends to hoist you over his shoulder before striding purposely towards his house. “Joel, what are you doing?!” you chuckle at him.

“No more distractions baby, I need to look over what’s mine.”

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

How Can You Improve Your Health in the New Year? Pick-a-Card Reading

(Tarot & Oracle)

Because we're all about self improvement over here.

Cards

The Tower (Reversed)

Temperance (Reversed)

Knight of Wands

Immediately I got that this pile might want to focus on their mental health. I feel like this pile might really struggle with anxiety but with the tower in reverse I feel like you worry needlessly most times. But you're just so afraid that the one time you relax could be the time that things fall apart. With temperance in reverse and the knight of wands I feel like you try to regulate your emotions and calm down but the moment something seems like it might go wrong you go back into freak out mode.

Oracle Cards

Rose Quartz: Love - Heart Chakra

Malachite: Nature - Heart Chakra

Cinnabar: Business - Sacral Chakra

With the rose quartz crystal coming out I feel like you need to show yourself more love when you face these moments of anxiety instead of trying to make yourself snap out of it. The malachite crystal has to do with the heart chakra and nature in this deck, getting out into nature may help to make you feel more emotionally stable. Cinnabar is associated with business and the sacral chakra in this deck, this makes me think some of the anxiety you may be feeling could be about work. Consider working with these crystals to help balance your heart and sacral chakras. The sacral chakra is actually connected to the emotions and I also consider the heart chakra to be closely associated with emotions. If you decide to use cinnabar please use extreme caution, be careful with malachite as well.

Cards

4 of Cups

6 of Swords

5 of Swords

I feel like this pile's main focus needs to be on physical health. Some of the people in this pile might already be into physical fitness and for those people I feel like you do workouts that you don't really like for the sake of weight loss or just because you think it's a workout you should be doing. But with the 4 of Cups I feel like there are other workouts that you could be doing that you would actually enjoy but you aren't looking into any other form of exercise. I also feel like this pile could really struggle with body image, the coming year (2025) is really the time to try and release that and realize that you don't have to be at war with your body. Your job is not to make your body look a particular way (especially not a way that is impossible to achieve without extreme behaviors) your job is to make sure that you keep your body as healthy as you can.

Oracle Cards

Seraphinite: Honesty - Heart & Third Eye Chakras

Obsidian: Obsidian - Root Chakra

Dioptase: Direction - Heart Chakra

I feel like with the honesty card (seraphinite) you are being called to look at yourself, really look at yourself and see yourself for who you are. Beyond your body, beyond other's perceptions of you, beyond what you've been told you are based on other family members. Really look into your heart and soul and begin living your life from your soul and not based on your physical appearance.

Cards

4 of Pentacles

3 of Cups

The Empress (Reversed)

This pile might want to work on their financial health in the New Year. The first thing I'm hearing is you don't have to be at every brunch or outing your friends have because it's really starting to add up. For a very small group of people that chose this pile, I feel like you might enjoy clubbing often and it's becoming quite expensive. And I feel like everyone in this pile really enjoys going out but instead of going somewhere where you have to spend money look for more inexpensive options. Instead of going for a boozy brunch consider meeting up with your friends at a coffee shop, or going for a picnic in the park, or find affordable or free events in your area that you can go to. But whatever you do, you might really want to consider saving more of your money.

Oracle Cards

Peridot: Teach - Heart Chakra

Carnelian: Self-Confidence - Root & Sacral Chakras

Malachite: Nature - Heart Chakra

With this first card (Peridot) I feel like some of you could be teachers but I mostly feel like by you taking on this new attitude of financial responsibility. That you'll teach those around you how to be more financially responsible too. I feel that you feeling like you have control over your finances will give you a boost of confidence. I feel like malachite will help you to manifest more money but also help you during this time of going from someone that used to be somewhat financially irresponsible to someone that knows how to manage their money well.

I hope this reading resonated with you and please feel free to let me know which pile you chose! And please get professional help to improve your health if you think you need it. 🩷

-Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[marypickfords]

“In a letter dated from 1911, Lucile Pervas from Portland, Oregon, explains that she is at odds with her well-off aunts, who did not look kindly on the eighteen-year-old’s rough-and-tumble pastimes (which included farming, fishing, and “shooting and the like”) and expressed urgent concern over the motherless girl’s “very unlady-like” behavior. The older women interpreted their niece’s favoring of masculine occupations as “full of mischief,” and worried it might symptomize a constitutional inability to conform to “sensible” (read: heteronormative) womanhood. [...] Seeking to counteract this undesired outcome, Pervas’s aunts took drastic measures: “Honey, would you believe it,” the high-schooler complained, “they have actually persuaded daddy to send me abroad to a French school [of manners] for two solid years.” In a heartbeat, the fan asserted, “As hard as auntie is going to try she will never make a quite sedate young lady out of me.” Torn, the adolescent fan transfers this anxiety to her object of desire, asking the young actress to validate such untraditional way of being by sharing it with her. Calling Lawrence “my little girl friend” and “my girl hero,” the moviegoer confesses to only reaching out to the star after having “read in the last issue of the [Motion Picture Story] magazine that you enjoy out-of-doors sports,” data that intimated that fan and star were “kindred spirits.” In one fell swoop, Lawrence is cast as confidante, soulmate, and mentor, a queering amalgamation of affective roles. Perhaps the most conspicuous sign of homoerotic courtship is Pervas’s attempt to seduce Lawrence with a profuse fantasy of dyadic intimacy. Confessing “to have just learnt to love you,” the tomboy invites Flo to visit her Portland country house and share what resembles a romantic idyll, complete with town-and-gown options and lady-in-waiting services. “Any time we wish to go to town the auto can take us there in forty-five minutes,” the girl jauntily declares, “and I will try my best to keep you from getting lonesome.””

— Diana W. Anselmo, from A Queer Way of Feeling: Girl Fans and Personal Archives of Early Hollywood (2023)

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Hello! May I just start by saying that your blog is one of the most helpful resources I've ever come across! The physiology of love has been particularly helpful for writing a very logically driven character who would absolutely go on a tangent about that kind of thing!

Now, I've encountered a recent roadblock in writing the relationship between that character and a very esoteric driven character (if you can't prove it with logic, they believe in it). The two are in a romantic relationship and get along very well, they respect and even make time to go to events regarding each other's interests/beliefs.

The problem is, they bond by debating. Like, they debate about the possibilities of the supernatural existing, do ghosts exist, etc. They don't argue, that's the key here. I... don't get it. To me, debating is arguing. If I believe something very strongly that I can back up with facts, I can get riled up in seconds if someone even jokingly goes against me.

Could you help me understand debating? Or even why some people do it to bond? It's my biggest struggle with writing these two characters and every time I try to research myself I just keep getting "benefits of debating" articles.

Hi! The first thing that came to mind after reading this was studies on sensation seeking.

Sensation seeking - the tendency to search out and engage in thrilling activities as a method of increasing stimulation and arousal.

Perhaps your characters experience debating as a thrilling activity.

Zuckerman's Sensation-Seeking Scale (SSS)

A questionnaire designed to measure the extent to which a person needs novel or exciting experiences and enjoys the thrills and excitement associated with them.

Contains 4 subscales, each containing items and phrases as a forced-choice between two distinct options:

First is thrill and adventure seeking, with items such as “I would like to try parachute jumping” versus “I would never want to try jumping out of a plane, with or without a parachute.” These items ask about desire for outdoor sports or activities involving elements of risk, such as flying and scuba diving.

The other scales are experience seeking (e.g., “I am not interested in experience for its own sake” versus “I like to have new and exciting experiences and sensations even if they are a little frightening, unconventional, or illegal”) These items refer to the seeking of new sensory or mental experiences through unconventional or nonconforming lifestyle choices;

disinhibition (e.g., “I like wild, uninhibited parties” versus “I prefer quiet parties with good conversation”). These items indicate a preference for getting “out of control” or an interest in wild parties, gambling, and sexual variety;

boredom susceptibility (e.g., “I get bored seeing the same old faces” versus “I like the comfortable familiarity of everyday friends”) reflected in items that refer to a dislike for repetition, routine work, monotony, predictable and dull people, and a restlessness when things become unchanging.

If we look at each subscale, perhaps your characters are high in "experience seeking" and "boredom susceptibility" and this might be reflected in their love of debating. As a whole, perhaps they both have what is called an HSS personality.

High Sensation-Seeking Personality

If you have this type of personality, it means you prefer to live your life with boundless energy and enthusiasm. You constantly seek out new experiences that will delight, surprise, stimulate and invigorate you – and you may indulge to excess.

Typical Characteristics of High Sensation-Seekers (HSS):

A continuous need for novel and diverse experiences that stimulate them*

A low boredom threshold*

Dislike of routines*

Doesn't respond well to authority or rules and regulations

May not be able to resist impulsive urges

A tendency to make unusual choices that may frighten those around them

HSS personalities often:

Are drawn to high-risk hobbies and sports

Build relationships that contain chaotic elements*

Like music, art and cinema that is daring and stimulating*

Challenge people by provoking raw and intense emotions*

Are fast and sometimes reckless drivers, which may be reflected in their history of accidents or speeding tickets

Become restless or depressed and even more desperate for exciting experiences if sensation is denied*

*Perhaps these characteristics and behaviours apply to your characters.

And we can always use The Five-Factor Model of Personality to help us understand certain traits and behaviours.

Using this model, we could say that your characters likely have high levels of openness and extroversion, and may not be as agreeable, to explain their love of debating.

(Of course, in reality, psychological tests and qualified assessors are needed to make these conclusions using these models, but I think that they can also be used by writers as guides for character building and development.)

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Thanks so much for your kind words! Really happy to hear the Physiology of Love post was helpful for you. Hope this one would be too :)

[seas1mping]

Jackmas Day 22/23: REDESIGN!!!!

My redesign is done, this time in COLOR!! or at least digital instead of pencil. BUT YAY!!!! I love LJ so much I love my redesign she's so cute I love her anyway yap in the read more <<3333

EDIT: I put a little red silhouette behind her so you could see her hair better cause the image is transparent <333

tw: child death (1 year old),

cw: oc x canon, implied canon x canon, fankids, angsty themes (see above tw)

in her last one it was mostly about her backstory and stuff but i want to explain some of the design choices here too as well as some minor beginnings of polycule lore (mostly just her and reena)

If you have eyes, you'll see that she has hearts broken and unbroken all over her. LJ was born to take care of Isaac, and when he went to boarding school and abandoned her, she finally experienced all of those negative emotions that he did. When she killed him, she was left with all of them, and she became heartbroken, because she was made for love and to be loved.

Candy Pop comes along, and LJ feels like they've been reborn. The love feelings they thrive on come back in full swing, and they have hope that this feeling will last forever and they can finally move on from Isaac. It doesn't.

Candy gets nervous, scared to be in one place after the Night Terrors assimilation, and leaves. LJ doesn't want to leave, they're content where their house is, and they don't see why he's trying to uproot everything just because he's being a baby.

Candy Pop leaves LJ a couple days later, and their only correspondence is a few text messages here and there for years. LJ falls back into that pit that she was sure she wouldn't ever go back to.

When Reena comes through, struggling with her newfound visual impairment and her baby, they begin to become friends, and this makes LJ feel nauseous. Reena could try to leave her all alone again, especially after getting on her good side and being understanding about her aversion to Nari.

LJ tells Reena she can have the house to raise Nari and anybody else who she wants, and says that Reena doesn't have to worry about LJ anymore, that she's leaving first so Reena can't leave them.

The surprising note, Reena immediately freaks out, asking LJ what she did wrong because she can't leave her too. She'll give her anything. Please don't abandon her too. And LJ realizes how stupid they were, just because it happened more than once doesn't mean its a cycle.

LJ betters herself from then on, helping to take care of Nari, mourning Nari after her death, sitting with Reena while she grieves, making Nari's new doll body so Reena can have her daughter back.

what

Nari is next in line for CREATION, and its gone so long without a proper host that waiting for the next generation isn't an option. Meaning that if Nari dies, so does it. LJ, being CREATION's personal (and favorite) assistant, is tasked with creating a vessel for Nari's soul to stay in until she grows up to be merged into the entity. (froggy reference??? /j)

So LJ works tirelessly to create the best possible doll that captures everything about Nari, even pushing little pins in to resemble her horn bumps, or adding boning to the lower to make her digitigrade legs.

When she's all finished, and Nari is infused in the doll, LJ leaves her in a drawer because she's technically not alive yet, the soul needs to attach to the body (PLEASE DO NOT REALLY DO THAT TO BABIES)

They kind of. forget. about Nari. whoops.

It isn't until LJ comes home from a meeting with CREATION that she sees Reena holding a real baby and looking up at them. Neither of them say anything, LJ can tell Reena knows, and Reena can't believe she's holding her daughter again.

Reena sets her baby down on the bed (surrounding her with pillows so she can't get hurt by some invisible force (or roll off)) and goes over to LJ.

LJ and Reena's first kiss is a memory they both look back on with fondness, salty from Reena's tears, and suspiciously candy scented from LJ (they just naturally smell like that)

Reena squeezes LJ so hard, they're sure if they were human something would be dislocated, and they stay like that until Nari makes a loud noise because it's hard work connecting to a vessel!! She's hungry!!!

sighs i love my goobers....... sighs,...........

[deliajackson]

When I reread the saga I tought about it too. I mean, I don't believe she is an awful human being. And I don't like HoO for so many reasons regarding relationships. Like Nico - Percy being reduced to "he is not my tipe" proceeds to ignore the entire importance of their relationship; Hazel - Frank - Percy becoming good friends and after MoA they literally barely interact again; Grover literally disappeared from the story too; whatever the hell Rick did with Percy - Annabeth.

Idk what he wanted to do making Sally pregnant during that saga. And I really believe we should have had a better insight of her. And that was something possible to do due Annabeth's POV. We should have seen her being worried. To see Sally having a mental breakdown with the fact her son - that due a miracle survived the war, was now what? Vanished? Kidnapped? Shouldn't Percy be safe now?

But we don't. We see her later being married and pregnant. This is a little bit odd.

I like to think, as a HC that Sally got pregnant before Percy was gone, and only found about it later on, and Paul was a gentleman, or one of these men who thinks like: Pregnancy = Marriage. It helps that he loves Sally. Or turned to love her on the way. And the entire relationships turned out fine.

Regarding Sally keeping Percy, I can see where it comes from. She was an orphan girl, really young, I believe she was what? 19? When she had him. I can see why she wanted to keep the only family she had, specially if she was afraid Percy could become one of the kids who stays the entire year for his own safety - after all, Poseidon DID explain to her why the camp was the better choice. It was implied in the book. And that was the reason Sally chose to marry Gabe instead. To keep Percy "safe" from monsters, while still being able to be by his side. She just forgot the monster she put inside her house could also hurt him as well.

She had full conscience of what she was doing when she chose Gabe. She didn't marry him not expecting him to be abusive. She married him because he stinks, and since the very beginning Percy said Gabe treated them poorly from the very start point of their lives together.

It was selfish. She knows it. She admits it herself. Even Mr. D on camp during the show is not impressed with her decision to keep a demigod child. Because it is an imprudent and mostly important, selfish decision, which only ends with children being slaughtered.

She also could have lived under the sea, in a palace that would be hers. She could have raised Percy well, still be his side, honestly, she would have been more present in his life that way, since she wouldn't need to be on a full-time job. That was also an option. Poseidon offered that to her.

And she said no. For many understandable reasons. I understand that. But if we get to analyze, she made the worst decision regarding Percy's sake and well-being.

The funny thing is that if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't have the Percy we had.

I really believe that if Percy went to camp half-blood way earlier he would join Luke - since I believed Poseidon wouldn't claim him as fast as he did, specially for Percy's own safety.

And if he lived under the sea, why would Percy ever go to camp half blood, out of his father's domain to deal with Gods? - If we push a little we can still make it happen, I believe. But eitherway, it wouldn't be the same. His self steem for example wouldn't be crippled and I don't believe he would be half as depressed as he was.

Side note: I really wanted to know why Rick is so obsessed with making these sagas while they are all teenagers. It passed six months after the war with Kronos. The entire HoO Saga took what again? Six months? And then ToA happens on the same fucking year and lasts *checks notes* also six months.

I didn't read the Kane Chronicles, CoTG, only WoTG - purely out of spite... But I don't believe Percy was mentioned to be 18 or close of 18? I mean? How many days Rick Riordan believes a year have. Let alone a month. Just let them become young adults.

Unpopular Opinion: Sally Jackson wasn’t a good mother to Percy. She chose to keep him in the mortal world with her when she could have sent him to camp and just asked for access to CHB. It was that easy and she didn’t do it.

She not only put him into danger with monsters, but put him in an actively abusive environment. Not just from Gabe, but her, too. Gabe was verbally abusive and she knew that, if you go back and look at the first book, Gabe is verbally attacking Percy and Sally sees and hears it. She’s not even phased.

Also, she worked a job, leaving Percy alone with an adult who physically abused her, knowing that he at least verbally abused her son. If he felt confident abusing her, a grown woman, then he felt comfortable hitting a child who was left alone with him. I don’t understand her lapse in judgment here. It’s not like she made him promise not to touch Percy, and if she did, then she’s a fool to take a man like Gabe’s or just anyone’s word for it.

She also knew that it was extremely likely that Percy would have ADHD and dyslexia because of him being a demigod and she still chose to make him go to schools in the mortal world, schools who wouldn’t be able to accommodate for him as CHB would be able to. She had to have known that it would be hard for him in the mortal would with his learning disabilities and that he would likely be bullied and discriminated against and yet, she chose not to raise him in a healthy environment where he would learn how to cope with his disabilities in a way that has been finely tuned to kids in his exact situation, but rather to make him go through all the bad things that happen to kids with ADHD and dyslexia.

She manipulated him (telling him that CHB would take him away from her) and bribed him (the coming home with candy after leaving him with Gabe) and gaslit and lied to him (the whole beginning of the TLT) for years and didn’t feel bad about it, assured that somehow, an unstable home with people who don’t want the best for him, but rather themselves and a hostile school environment was better for him than CHB. You know, just the place where demigods are supposed to thrive, where everything is made specifically with demigods in mind.

Sally knew that Percy was the son of Poseidon and was therefore more at risk than most other demigods, she most likely knew about the oath because I see no reason that Poseidon wouldn’t tell her, and yet, she still kept him with her in a toxic home and toxic schools, putting him in danger with monsters (the Gabe plan wasn’t infallible and she hadn’t even tried to do anything or asked Poseidon to supply her with anything until years after Percy was born and therefore already in danger) and subjecting him to all the horrors that come with a bad home life and just the mortal world in general, especially the mortal world of New York City where I used to partially live. And, New York being the place where both camp and Olympus were located had to have meant that there were more monsters there than anywhere else, except maybe San Francisco and Alaska, which just upped the danger for Percy, strong smelling Big Three child,

She didn’t even stop to think that maybe the life she was giving him was better than any life CHB could give him? If he went to CHB, he’d learn how to survive in a world that is actively trying to kill him, he’d learn how not to piss off the gods, he’d be more prepared for the Great Prophecy, he’d grow up knowing that there were people just like him who understood him and would help him. He’s grow up in a safe, nurturing environment that prepared him for the real world outside of the borders, maybe even be assigned a quest and learn what they’re like before being thrown into stopping WWIII.

And if she kept him with her not because she thought she’d give him a better life than camp would, then it would be because of her own selfish and completely irrational reasons. Poseidon told her that Percy should be sent to camp and she was so blinded with her selfishness, her own wants and desires, that she didn’t stop to think that maybe a god who’s had countless other children just like Percy for millennia, that maybe a literal god who is a king and thousand of years old might be right? That he wouldn’t know what would be the best for their child? But she kept Percy with her. Despite everything, she kept him with her, using the excuse that camp would take him away from her. As if mortals can’t be taken into camp as long as they have permission—permission that is granted through like ten words.

I just sincerely don’t understand. You can say that Gabe would stop her from taking Percy to camp, that he had them trapped. She trapped herself, and by extension, Percy, into the marriage and she could have run away at any point to CHB. Do you really think Chiron would have turned her away? That Gabe would have found her in a magically warded camp for the children of gods, one of which she had herself? She was the one who decided that marrying him would be better than sending Percy to CHB when he had already been born. When he encountered his first monster, when Gabe had shown himself to be an abusive person, she should have gone to camp so both Poseidon and her could keep an eye on him in a safe, stable as can be environment.

Now listen, I have a lot of empathy for people in abusive relationships, I’ve been in one myself and I know what it can do to you, how the signs can be missed until it’s too late. But Sally did not choose Gabe because he had manipulated her or because she had fallen in love with him, no. She chose him because he smelled bad. She chose a completely random human to marry and thought that it wouldn’t backfire on her or her son, the person she was allegedly doing it for.

I don’t understand her thought process on this. What could she possibly have thought of camp, of her whole situation that made her make the choices she made? Because I just can’t see it.

The books have shown that Sally can be a good mother to Estelle, to Nico, but the only person she seems incapable of being a good mother to is Percy.

I can see it being a part of the future that Percy and Sally have a falling out of sorts. Estelle is a fully mortal child with a loving father and a loving mother. It would be interesting to see Percy realising that his childhood could have been better, watching Estelle grow up in a healthy environment that his mother actively kept him from.

Paul is cool and all, I don’t really fault him for much other than him rushing his relationship with Sally, whose last marriage was abusive and by association, Percy who is a victim of abuse and very clearly also dealing with other trauma. I do, however, fault Sally for pursuing a relationship like that with a man only two years after she and her son were subjected to abuse by a man in the same exact position. Why would she choose to bring another stepfather into Percy’s life when she knew the other one was at least verbally abusive and when he was in the middle of a freaking war. He didn’t really have the time or the ideal circumstances (to put it lightly) to have to deal with Gabe trauma rearing it’s ugly head when another man walks into her life. She never even really fully discussed it with him? Like it’s never shown in the books that she and Percy had a conversation about Gabe and about Paul, a full, in-depth conversation about their troubles, about what it would mean, and whether or not they should be doing that with a mortal when Percy is a demigod—a demigod from the Big Three who is the centre of a world ending prophecy and the leader of a demigod war with the Titan king, no less. They never sit down and talk with Paul about it, either.

I really don’t mean for this to be a victim blame-y post or anything, but I think that Sally just made some wrong choices and she suffered for them. I blame her for that, for the harm it caused Percy and the fact that she didn’t even wait or examine Gabe to see if he would be a bad person or not. And you can’t tell me that the gods or demigods haven’t found a way for half-bloods’ scents not to be found yet, after thousands of years other than forcing a child into a home with an abusive man. It just doesn’t make sense. There were better options, some of which I already listed.

Not much of what Sally says or does really makes me think she’s a good mother—or even an average one even though the fandom tried really hard to make people think she’s the perfect mom. She does a lot of harmful things and gets away with them because she what? Talks nicely when her words aren’t full of manipulation? When she isn’t lying to her son and leaving him in the dark—something that could literally kill him? Acts nice when she isn’t absent and leaving her son with and abusive man? When she isn’t bribing Percy as a half-assed apology when she does?

I see it a lot in the fandom, fanfic especially where Sally is this perfect mother and perfect person as if she didn’t screw up all the time. As if she and her selfishness and her lack of thinking didn’t traumatise Percy and leave him an abusive home and school environment. People talk so much about her being the perfect mother, her being the ideal when she really isn’t. Yes, she is a victim, but she’s a victim who dragged a child down with her and a victim who didn’t even think of saving herself or her son. And I despise people who don’t try to save themselves, people who don’t think, and people who drag others down with them. Sally Jackson is all three.

TL,DR: Sally made a lot of selfish or straight up stupid parenting choices that blew back on Percy and the fandom needs to hold her more accountable instead of glorifying her and ignoring all of her flaws.

[sad-leon]

crawling out of the shadows with this as an offering

[subsequentibis]

it's actually just hit me that there's like... not really romance plots in dungeon meshi. they don't pair the cast off arbitrarily at the end. basically any character could be read as aroace/aspec really easily. that's honestly super cool!! it's refreshing to have a mainstream piece of media with the kind of approach to character relationships that emphasizes how important everyone's connections to each other are without making them explicitly romantic.

[vynnyal]

Of all games why this one

[kimjunnoodle]

-

[the-everqueen]

re: WIPs, i have several sandman fics i'm working on and i'd like to finish. these are informed as much by (my opinions on) the spinoff comix and the actors' choices in the tv series as the original comix. also the neilman doesn't get any money from me having better opinions about the Corinthian and Rose Walker than he did back in the 90s (or now tbh). regarding the allegations - i believe the victims, i'm disinterested in any discourse that dismisses them or other women as liars in order to preserve this one man's fragile ego, and i don't want to materially support him via books or events or streaming. but i understand that some of my mutuals need to totally disengage from anything related to him. i'm fairly religious about my tags, so moots feel free to blacklist as needed and/or request specialized tags to avoid potential triggers. (this also extends to other things: if you need accommodations for specific tws, please ask.)

[swollenwithangst]

i hate my uncontrollable need to analyze everything. my inability to only partially devote myself to things that will never be a constant. being too little or too much, exacerbating or not quite enough. i have roused myself with the guise of our friendship, acknowledging now that's all it can be. rejecting my kindness, while bringing tenfold your own. like magnets we push and we pull, all based upon the way in which we chose to orient ourselves that day.

[heliianth]

the dark evil wizards have afflicted me with a hyperspecific interpretation of killuas "moral conflict" which leaves a lot of fan content that tries to engage with it unsatisfying. a wicked and foul hex indeed

[punkshitposts]

something I think is actually hilarious is that if you go left enough you start having more stances in common with (individual) conservatives, and if you go right enough you start agreeing with (individual) leftists. like i have a pretty close friend who's self described as "just far enough right that I hate politicians" , whom I hard disagree with his overarching political stances. but the finer details of it... yeah we agree with each other. gun control/gun rights opinions taxation opinions pro-small government opinions slight separatist opinions anti two party opinions anti-corporation opinion ect ect ect.

we stand on opposite sides of a standard political compass but I genuinely think if I were to count stats, I'd agree with as many of his stances as I would a liberals/democrats stances. my hs gov teacher described the difference in right vs left to us as "everyone's goal here is the betterment of mankind, they just think the best ways to do it are different" and that's literally the best way, to me, to describe what the difference in right vs left is regarding anarchism specifically. we got ESSENTIALLY the same opinion but the ways we think are the best ways to go about enacting said opinion are what makes us different. and something abt that is really painfully funny to me. envisioning a world where an-something is the major world thing, not capitalism.... and there's STILL right vs left... but The Anarchist Versions. christ.

sorry for the book i wrote in the tags. ignore typos I am NOT retyping any of that to fix them xoxo