#(oh yeah and id still post submissions) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lockoutkey · 3 years ago

Text

New fic after months sorry guys

Etho was going to die.

The phone was ringing and he could see the caller ID. Death. His phone said fucking Death. He had heard stories about how people felt when they saw Death calling them. He read the threads people posted of their final day on twitter. He read the submissions to tumblr blogs where people could anonymously confess on their death day like they were in a church. All the “Oh yeah I actually cheated on my wife by fucking her sister.” got old after a while. If you're gonna admit all your wrongdoings before you’re about to die, make it good.

That’s what he always thought. He always criticized them. Now he was the one thinking back on his sins. He never cheated on anyone of course. He could admit to burning down that abandoned factory, but it had been an accident, and he was also 16 at the time. Teenagers are stupid, lay off. He’d already gotten arrested for stealing all those plants, so no reason to admit to that.

The phone kept ringing. It was 12:02am and it would ring until he died unless he answered. Death stared him down through the iPhone. What a horrible way to find out. He should answer. What if it woke up Beef? God, he would have to explain this to his roommate. Should he? He wouldn’t be able to pay half the rent anymore. God, how do you even tell your best friend you have less than a day to live.

He picked up the phone with shaking hands and somehow managed to slide the arrow to talk. “Hello?”

“Hello! Am I speaking to Etho?”

Etho wanted to cry. Who the hell gave Death a phone. He hated Alexander Graham Cracker “Yes.”

“Perfect! I would like to inform you of your death. In the next 24 hours, you will die. Unfortunately, I am unable to provide information such as time and place due to past attempts of death cheaters. However, we are able to provide any resources you need on your final day.”

Fuck.

Etho was silent. He always had a morbid curiosity of what Death said on the final call. Why were they so chipper? He was being told he was going to die. Were they so jaded by their job that they just didn’t care anymore?

“I see you’ve already set up funeral arrangements, which makes this even easier for us. If you would like to make any changes you’ll be able to call us at any point before your death. Now, would you like to be in the death duo program or not?”

None of that made sense to Etho. “What’s a death duo?”

“Ah, my mistake. For those who may be alone or wish to spend it with someone besides their loved ones for some reason, they can be assigned someone else who will be dying the same day. Your death duo would be a man named Bdubs. Would you like to opt into the program?”

Etho laughed humorously. “Why the hell not. Add me in.”

“Lovely! We will send the contact information within five minutes. If you do not receive it, please call or email us. Are you in need of anything else?”

Time. “No.”

“Wonderful. We hope you’ve had a great life. Have a great last day!”

The call ended abruptly. Would he die like that? Suddenly and with no warning? Was he going to die slowly, maybe he would drown or be stabbed. He never feared death, most people didn’t anymore. Now that they knew someone out there was aware of their last day, someone would tell them, they lived life much freer. They could live life dangerously. Why be scared of skydiving if you wouldn’t die that day?

He could hear Beef snoring through their thin apartment walls. He was an early to bed early to rise kinda guy. Etho wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. How could he? He was going to die. He had just peacefully been playing terraria when he got the call. Now he was going through moral dilemmas.

Does he wake up Beef and tell him? He put on his green slippers and stood in front of Beef’s door. He was hesitant to knock. He couldn’t. The last thing they did was make homemade pizzas. The kitchen was still a mess from last night. He lowered his hand. He should clean up. For Beef. Maybe it was cruel to spend his last day away from his friend, but Etho wanted the last memory to be a happy one. He didn’t want Beef to spend the last hours together sad. Plus, he had that Bdubs guy to deal with.

He grabbed a wad of paper towels and sprayed down the counter. There was pizza sauce on the spruce cabinets. How did that even get there? Cheese was stuck on the tiles, and bits of dough were embedded into the counter. His speaker was still turned on. The two really were chaos incarnate. Etho leaned on the counter and ran his hands through his hair. He wasn’t going to cry. He wouldn’t cry. The counter was wet from the all-purpose cleaner. So was his face and hands. Who was he kidding? He slid against the wall and stared at the ceiling, feeling like a main character in a movie after they find out bad news. Not too far off from the truth.

His phone buzzed on the half cleaned counter. He wiped the tears across his face and stood up, he still had to put the dishes in the dishwasher. There was a text from an unknown number. He saw Death had texted him a number that matched with the unknown text. This must be his death duo. Bdubs.

Bdubs: Is this Etho?

Etho: Yeah, Bdubs huh?

Bdubs: Yep.

Etho: So…

Bdubs: We’re gonna die, huh?

Etho: I guess.

Bdubs: What are we gonna do about it?

Etho: Wdym?

Bdubs: I mean, I’m not saying go jump off a bridge or travel the world, what are we gonna do? We have a day to live, we might as well make it worth something.

Etho thought about it while putting the rest of the dishes into the washer. He was right. Etho could just sit inside and wait. He could let Beef walk in his room and find his body. He would probably scar his roommate for life, but at least Etho could relax on his last day. Where was the happiness in that though. There wasn’t much to do in January, but they could find some fun.

Etho: Do you know the fountain on Swing Road? Meet me there in an hour.

Bdubs: That’s almost 1:30am

Etho: Like you said, might as well make today worth it

Etho turned off his phone. Bdubs seemed like an interesting guy, but he had only talked for a few sentences. Etho walked into the living room, picking up his and Beef’s cat Chester along the way. He stood next to the coffee table, looking around. He probably wouldn’t see his apartment again after he left. He spent so many nights drinking and watching movies on that old smelly couch. Their Wall of Shame was filled with polaroid photos of him and his friends, mostly of them leaning over a bucket or toilet about to puke their guts out after a night of bar hopping. His favorite was Tango with sharpie dicks on his face. He had been pissed seeing the photo on the wall the next morning. He had soon gotten revenge on the others during their yearly camping trip. Beef, Impulse, Zedaph, and Etho floating on a lake would forever be ingrained in their memories, as well as plastered on the wall for any visitors to see.

Chester stretched in his arms. “Aww, come on buddy, you don’t wanna spend time with me? I thought cats were supposed to tell when people were going to die. Do you hate me that much?” Chester ignored him and hopped down. Stupid cat. He had to get dressed anyway.

What do you wear when you know you’re going to die? Should he be comfortable? Fancy? Casual?

Etho: What are you wearing?

Bdubs: Take me on a date first.

Etho: That’s…nvm

Why did he try? Was he making a mistake? Weren't you supposed to spend your last day surrounded by loved ones? He was supposed to spend it with friends and family, crying his eyes out wishing for more time. Should he back out? What were they even going to do? Fuck it, where was his flannel? He threw it over his white pajama shirt and called it a day. It wasn’t like he slept in it. Jeans, he needed those. He wouldn’t die in ketchup stained sweatpants. He would go out looking like a Calvin Klein model reject.

He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. This was it. He was going to walk out that door and not come back. He should write a letter to Beef, right? He already wrote his will out, it was updated and ready for today. Beef deserved something more though. He shuffled through his desk for a clean sheet of paper and a pen, sliding into his chair for a hastily written death note.

So if you’re reading this letter, I’m dead. Sorry. Well, I don’t know if I should be sorry, cause it’s not like it’s MY fault I got the call. Better me before you though. Can you imagine if they told other people about someone else’s death instead? Like, what if you knew instead. How fucked yo would that be? Sorry, I’m rambling. I bet you read sorry in my accent, huh?

Anyways, since I’m dead you’re gonna be the one doing everything, right? With my will and funeral since my mom and dad are dead too. That’s for doing all that buddy, you mean the world to me, seriously. You don’t have to do all this but you said you would when the day came. We thought it would be in like 50 years, but well, can’t control death.

Take care of our little monster, okay? Chester deserves all the treats. Tell Impulse to finish his PhD and if he doesn’t I'm haunting him. Tell Tango I know he stole my cookies that one time in the fourth grade and I forgive him. Tell Zed not to join me too soon, I know his experiments get dangerous, stay safe.

I love you.

His roof must have a leak because there were splotches of water on the paper. He folded it and wrote his roommate's name on the back. There was no reason for Beef to go in here until he got the call Etho was dead.

He looked at the clock and swore. He had half an hour to get to the fountain. He would have to run rather than walk. Should he throw caution to the wind? It wasn’t like he was going to die tomorrow.

He slipped on his shoes and unlocked the door. The click seemed to echo through the house. He winced and turned the doorknob, keeping a close eye on Chester. The evil little demon liked to bolt.

The lock clicked into place and he made a run for it. God, he needed more exercise. Technical support workers only got so much exercise. He hoped his clients wouldn’t be too mad their computers weren’t fully fixed. Beef could recommend them to someone else. Hell, he could probably fix their computers for them.

The stress he dashed by still wasn't empty. Every few minutes a car would zoom past on their way to who knows where. Maybe they had gotten the call as well. He lived on the outskirts of the city and didn’t miss the chaos at all. The small apartment was nice, he could walk everywhere he needed to go, and if he needed to go somewhere further he could grab a train or bus. Life was nice.

Damnit.

He shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to reminisce. He slowed down as he came up on the center fountain. It wasn’t hard to find Bdubs, seeing as he was the only person standing by the unused sculpture this late at night. His hands were in his sweatshirt pockets. The man was doing a strange dance where he would jump on the fountain edge, lean forward, back, and jump down as gravity and momentum took over. He slammed the label goofball on Bdubs before even speaking with him.

“Hey!” He shouted across the square. Bdubs, in the middle of a jump, turned violently and fell back into the fountain. Thank god it was the middle of winter and turned off, that could have spelled disaster.

Now, Etho was described as many things. He had an aura that strangers often found mysterious and intimidating. Friends knew he was just Some Guy. He refers to himself as a nerd who likes to fix computers and collect pokémon cards. He wanted to make a good first impression on Bdubs though. Etho ran up to the fallen Bdubs, who looked like a freshly kicked raccoon. What he wanted to say was an apology. Etho also wanted to ask about the status of Bdubs’s health. These thoughts ended with Etho saying the following.

“Are you fucking sorry?”

If it weren’t the last day of his life, the look on Bdubs’ face would haunt him for the rest of it. “Excuse me?!”

Etho ran his hands down his face. So much for good first impressions. “No, wait. I was trying to say ‘Are you okay’ and ‘I’m so fucking sorry’ at the same time and I messed up. My bad.”

Bdubs shook his head. “Man, this is the guy they set me up with. Well, I won’t complain. I would have stayed with my roommates, but…”

“You want them to remember you without the whole inevitable end thing?” Etho finished.

Bdubs nodded. Maybe that’s why people agreed to this dumb setup. Yeah, it was nice to spend your final hours with people you love, but why spend it sad and wishing for more time. Let them remember you for the person you were, right?

“So, what first?” Etho asked. He had a few ideas, but had no clue what to do at 1:30am. Nothing was open.

“You ever heard of insomnia cookies? It’s like 10 minutes away from the city. Closes at 3am?”

Etho nodded his head. He’d never been there himself but heard good things about the store. “There first?”

“Yup.” Bdubs twirled his keys and walked towards a lone blue car. It barely looked held together and Etho was sure this metal tube was his sentence. “I’ve always wanted to try it but I always put it off. Thought I had time, ya know?”

Etho rubbed his hands together. “Trust me, I know.”

Etho stepped into the passenger side and immediately made sure there was a handle to grab onto. Better safe than sorry. Then again, he had no reason to be safe today. Might as well live on the edge. He still put his seatbelt on though. Safety first.

Bdubs driving was, if he was to make a comparison, akin to a squirrel on ketamine. Etho was going to throw up. That would be how he died, in a car with a man he just met while puking and it would be all Bdubs fault. Where did he find this guy again?

“Let me the hell out.” Etho wheezed.

“Why? Is there something wrong with my driving?” Bdubs asked, flying over a speed bump and smashing into a traffic cone.

“Oh my god.”

Thankfully, he slowed down once they got closer to the city. There were few days and pedestrians, but just because it was their last day on earth didn’t mean they had to be the cause someone else met their end.

The city lights flashed off the glass skyscrapers. He had never really been a city boy, he liked plants more than sewer rats. However, when it was silent, when no one was out, it was almost peaceful. The scaffolding flew past and he imagined construction workers and their fear of falling.

“Where is this place?” He asked.

Bdubs gestured up ahead. “A couple blocks, trust me, you’ll like it.”

Etho raised an eyebrow. “How would you know what I like? You just met me. Maybe I like bitter things.”

“Do you like bitter food?”

“No.”

Bdubs smirked. “There you go. Okay, how ‘bout this, 20 questions, you and me. Easy way to get to know each other!”

Etho scoffed. “Really? 20 questions? Isn’t that a game teenagers play to ask each other on a date?”

Bdubs opened his mouth to retaliate and disagree, but accepted Etho was right. “Fine, it's not 20 questions. It’s two guys dying at any moment and they wanna get to know each other. That sound good?”

Etho tapped his chin. “Hmm, I can accept that.”

The cookie place wasn’t that impressive. It seemed like a bad start to the day, but Etho would stay positive. He hasn’t even tried the cookies yet. The door chimed open and the two stepped into the warm shop. It was nicer on the inside, chairs set up around the place. Paintings of cookies dotted the walls under posters advertising different types of cookies they sold. He didn’t know there could be cookies so big.

“Welcome to Insomnia Cookies, how can I help you?” The cashier asked with as much energy someone could have at almost two am. They were here close to closing, so they were rightfully annoyed at them. They could suck it up, today was the day for Etho to do whatever the hell he wanted.

Bdubs looked through the cookies on display. “Hmmm, I’ll have the deluxe monster’wich! Etho, what do you want?”

Etho looked at Bdubs in disbelief. “Why would you order that? It’s in the negatives outside.”

Bdubs shrugged. “Go big or go home.”

Etho laughed. “You know what? Okay. I’ll just have a snickerdoodle cookie.”

The cashier sighed and rang them up. “$10.87.”

Enthusiastic. Listen, Etho was an insomniac, he wouldn’t even get the chance to fall asleep until at least 3am on a good night, this was hardly the first time he would be awake for a whole day.

The cookies were already made so they sat down quickly. Bdub’s ice cream dripped onto his napkin and Etho couldn’t help but be the slightest bit jealous and wishing he had gotten it. However, he would rather have his cookie than freeze. His jacket was barely keeping out the cold.

“What next?” Bdubs asked, mouth full of ice cream and cookie bits.

That was a good question. There wasn’t much to do at 2am. Most of the population was asleep or at their homes. Only Walmarts and this Insomnia Cookie were open. “Wanna graffiti a building?”

Bdubs’s eyes widened. “That’s illegal!”

Etho took a bite of cookies. “I mean, only if you get caught. It’s not as bad as the arson.”

“You know what,” Bdubs smirked. “You’re not wrong. Alright, Mr. ACAB, where we doin’ this? Do you just have spray paint or whatever you use on hand?”

Etho tossed his wrapper in the trash can. “I know a guy. He’ll still be awake right now, he’s just like that.”

Bdubs followed Etho out, making sure to wipe off his ice cream covered hands before leaving. It was still freezing out and Etho was glad he hadn’t had ice cream. Watching Bdubs shiver, he wondered if the other man regretted it. Probably not.

Etho gave the directions to Bdubs and they headed off. Now that they were in the city, his driving was much better, however, Etho still feared for his life. He couldn’t even drive but he could probably stay between the lines better than Bdubs. “Why are you such a bad driver?”

“Is that one of the questions?”

Etho shook his head, turning green. “It’s a concern for our safety.”

Bdubs nodded to the wheel. “You wanna drive?”

“I can’t drive.” Etho admitted. “But I could probably do a hell of a lot better than whatever you’re doing.”

Bdubs grinned, Etho didn’t like it. “Is that a challenge?”

Oh no. “Yes.”

Bdubs cackled. “Fine then, we’ll see who the better driver is.”

Etho bit his lip. He might’ve just made a mistake. Oh well, something to pass the time.

“So, what’s this guys name? This mysterious stranger.” Bdubs swerved around the corner.

“Iskall.” Etho gritted out. “We were college roommates but he went off with some friends. Came back a few years ago and I helped him get set up around here. He owns a pawn shop.”

“Cool! So he has money, right?” Bdubs asked. Etho shrugged. He never asked how much Iskall made, but it was probably more than his measly salary.

The pawn shop was tucked between a thrift store and a chinese restaurant. The bright green ‘VAULT HUNTERS’ sign pushed away the darkness. Iskall should already be down. He’d texted his friend they were coming but gave no details. Hopefully the Swedish man could forgive him.

Etho rapped on the door. A shout came from within the door and brought a smile to Etho’s face. He hadn’t seen Iskall in a while, and although he wouldn’t let the man know why they were there so early in the morning, he would enjoy seeing his old friend one last time.

“What the hell are you doing here? Do you know what time it is? Who are you?” The Swedish man raged in the doorway.

Etho smiled. “It’s nice to see you too, Iskall! Can we come in?”

Iskall grumbled but opened the door for them. The two walked into the pawn shop, ignoring the burning glare of Iskall. The shop was filled to the brim with who knows what, probably organized in a way only Iskall knew. In one corner was a grand piano and in another was a ceramic clown. Paintings that had to be worth thousands hung on the wall. How has this place not been robbed yet? Though he wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of Iskall’s rage, they were friends, and the man wouldn’t actually hurt him. Probably.

“I need the stuff.” Etho requested.

Iskall raised an eyebrow. “The helpful stuff or the bad stuff.”

“The fun stuff.”

“Damnit Etho.”

Iskall beckoned them further into the mess. Bdubs looked as if he was resisting the urge to touch everything in sight and he was relieved the man kept his hands to himself. He led them to a counter that Iskall walked behind and disappeared into a back room.

Bdubs glanced nervously at Etho. “He’s not gonna kill us, right?”

Etho looked thoughtful. “Probably not.”

“Great.”

Iskall came back out and threw a duffle bag on the table. Metal clinked together inside the ripped bag. “I don’t know what you two are planning, but this isn’t mine.”

Etho nodded. “This isn’t yours, got it. Thanks, Iskall.”

Iskall waved him off. “You’re lucky you’re one of my best friends, Etho. Let me know if you need anything else, preferable at a different time, though.”

Etho shot finger guns at him. “You got it. We’re heading out. Bye, Iskall!”

Iskall waved and headed up a set of stairs. Etho turned to Bdubs and grinned, holding up the bag. “So, where first?”

Bdubs walked towards the door. “Luckily for you, there’s one place that has been annoying me for way too long. You know Boatem?”

Etho ran through his memory. “That new shopping center with the train?”

Bdubs nodded. “My favorite cafe used to be there. I live close to there and that train goes off at all points of the day. It’s time for revenge.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Etho cheered, throwing the bag into the back seat. Good thing cops rarely showed up late at night. Plus, Etho knew how to evade them. He had practice.

The cans rattled in the backseat as Bdubs sped through the streets. On second thought, maybe it would be nice for some cops to show up. They could actually pull the man over and explain what a speed limit was. “Slow down…”

“Hell no!” Bdubs cheered.

They got to Boatem in record time. Etho himself had never been as he was more of a thrifting man than hundred dollar shopping outlets. Sometimes capitalism needs to be sent a message in the form of toxic pain.

“Where do you wanna do this?” Etho asked. “You know the place better than me.”

Bdubs motioned towards a large platform. “The train, it annoys me the most. What should we draw on it though?”

“Your mom.” Etho blurted without thinking. Silence fell between the two as they processed exactly what Etho said. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean YOUR mom, I mean the words. I’m sure you have a lovely mother.”

Bdubs doubled over laughing. “Seriously? The best you can come up with is that? How old are you?”

Etho crossed his arms. “It’s a classic joke…”

“Fine. You write your dumb jokes. I’m writing the communist manifesto.” Bdubs stomped off to apparently spread propaganda. To each their own.

Etho hopped next to the train. It was smaller than a real train and didn’t actually move. But from the wiring he could see, it probably made the same noisess as one. That would line up with Bdubs’s annoyance. He pushed a box over so he was level with the side and grabbed a red can. He didn’t care what Bdubs said, your mom jokes were hilarious. He didn’t just write jokes, he also drew various animals on the train. He wasn’t what you would call an artist, but a couple of circles definitely made a cat. Cats were cute. He couldn’t be arrested for cute things. That’s why he was never arrested, when he most likely should be.

“You done?” He heard after a while. Etho looked over his zoo work. Beautiful.

“Yeah!” He shouted back.

Bdubs wandered over and glanced over his art. “I’m sure Boatem will be thoroughly pissed off. Good job, E!”

“Thank you! What did you do?” Etho followed Bdubs over to his side where he did indeed see the first lines of the communist manifesto. He thought he was joking, but no, his new friend really knew it by heart. It was surrounded by some of the most beautiful graffiti he had ever seen. Was he an artist? He had to take a picture with his phone. “Bdubs, you’re amazing.”

“I know!” Bdubs flipped non-existent hair. “What next? It’s almost 5am.”

Etho bit his nail. “Are you hungry? I know a good cafe that’s open around this time. Since yours closed down, you can try this one out.”

“Sure, where is it? I can’t believe they open at 5am. Who does that?” Bdubs asked.

“Well, they don’t actually, they get there to get ready. I just know people.” Etho admitted.

Bdubs laughed. “Ok, Mr. Popular and Mysterious. Do you know anyone who could talk death into sparing us?”

The fun mood deflated from Etho. “No.”

Bdubs realized his mistake and tried to apologize. Etho waved him off but still felt the dark cloud fall over him once again. He felt bad for making Bdubs feel guilty, but he was still processing his impending death. The car ride to the cafe was as silent as it was dangerous, but Etho could even bring himself to lighten the mood despite Bdubs’s many tries. They only spoke once they pulled up to the cafe Etho had mentioned. “Well, we’re here.”

Etho snorted. “Let’s go in.”

The cafe was tiny but cute. It had a yellow and green exterior that emitted a vibe of joy. Despite it being winter, there were chairs and tables for outside seating. They were covered in a thin layer of frost from the low temperature. The glass front had the words “Stressless Cafe” in decals. He knocked on the door and a brunette woman in an apron opened the door. “Etho! What are you doing here? It’s not even opening.”

Etho rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I know, but I was out this early and this was the only place I could think to take us. Oh, this is Bdubs. Bdubs, this is Stress.”

Stress looked carefully at Bdubs before holding out her hand. “I haven’t seen you before. New friend of Etho’s?”

Bdubs shook her hand and glanced at Etho. “Um, something like that.”

Stress paused and a grin slowly spread across her face. “Oh! Well, good for you, Etho. It’s about time you brought someone around.”

Etho’s eyes widened in panic. “No, Stress, it’s not- that’s not- you’re misunderstanding.”

Stress winked at Bdubs. “He’s a shy one.”

Bdubs’s face heated up, catching on to Stress’s implication. “Oh, that’s not- We’re not- you’ve got it wrong!”

Stress laughed. “Whatever you two say. Come on in. You want the usual, Etho?”

Etho tried to hide more of his face in his mask. “Yes, that’s fine.”

Stress brought them to a table and pointed at the still red Bdubs. “What about you? Anything in particular?”

“Um, a hot chocolate please?” He squeaked out.

Stress nodded. “Strawberry cake okay?” She walked away to prepare their order before getting a confirmation. Who was this woman?

“Stress is nosy, I’m so sorry for her.” Etho said. He stared at the table. Well, the previous awkwardness was now replaced with a different kind.

Bdubs coughed. “It’s fine. Friends are like that, yeah?”

An awkward silence fell over the table. Great, how was this going to be fixed. “So, how long have you known Stress.”

Etho looked relieved to talk about something easy and familiar. “She was originally a friend of Iskall. They were in the same classes and she would come over all the time. She opened the cafe when she graduated and I’ve been coming here ever since.”

Bdubs nodded. “That’s cool she could open it right away. It’s hard to do that as a college kid.”

“Her parents have good money and helped her out, plus we spread fliers all over town for like a month before the opening.” Etho explained.

“What are you two doing here so early?”

Etho’s mouth dropped. “Iskall?!”

Iskall stood in front of them decked out in an apron and green shirt. He looked positively annoyed to see the two of them. “Yes, that’s my name.”

“Don’t you work at your own shop?” Bdubs asked. He was new to this friend group, so perhaps he was wrong. Judging by Etho’s reaction though the man wasn’t usually there.

Iskall placed their food and drinks down. “Eh, I help Stress out sometimes. Today is your lucky day.”

Etho nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay, I guess that makes sense?”

“Well…bye.” Iskall walked off presumably to help stress.

“Does he just work everywhere?” Bdubs asked. Etho threw up his hands. How was he supposed to know? He just dug into his muffin and tried to ignore his impending doom. Bdubs did the same with his cake.

It was nice to sit in silence after the crazy few hours they had so far. Etho would admit, it had been the most fun he had in quite a while. He never would have been able to do something like this without being under these circumstances.

The two were able to get over their awkwardness and just talk for a few hours in the cozy warmth of the cafe table. There really wasn’t much they could do at this time, but at least they could get to know each other.

Etho had barely touched his phone since he left the house. Beef must’ve noticed he wasn’t there because his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. Sure enough, a text from his roommate. Beef usually wakes up around 7.

Beef: Yo, Etho, where are you?

Did he lie? He should. He couldn’t tell the truth. Beef would want him home immediately and Etho just couldn’t face him.

Etho: Got a text from a client. Said they would pay more if I could check out their computer right now. I won’t say no to money. I couldn’t sleep anyways.

A pang of guilt ran through him. It was for Beef though. It would only hurt him to know what was happening to his friend.

Beef: Sweet, thanks for doing the dishes btw. It was a nice surprise.

Etho smiled and told him it wasn’t any problem. Bdubs looked at him suspiciously. “What’s that smile for?”

“Texting my roommate.” Etho put his phone back down and stretched. “So, you have any more plans?”

Bdubs grinned. “While you were busy texting, I made a few reservations for us.”

That worried Etho. “Reservations?”

Bdubs nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! First thing first, to the mall. We have a fitting to get to.”

Etho should be more worried. His last day on earth and he wasn’t being told where they were going. It could be Bdubs that kills him. What if Bdubs made him drink too much soda? What if Bdubs suffocated him in his car?

The voice of Beef haunted his mind. Stop catastrophizing Etho.

Right. Why would Bdubs kill him when they’re meant to be friends.

Etho pushed away his long finished drink and food. “Alright, tell me about this mysterious fitting.”

“Don’t worry, just follow me.” Bdubs said cryptically.

Etho felt a pant in his heart when Stress cheerfully called out. “See you later Etho! Nice meeting you Bdubs!” No, she wouldn’t be seeing them later, but that’s okay. He got to see his friend one last time. He made sure to leave a bigger tip than usual when she wasn’t looking. $100 should be good.

There were more people out and about now that the sun was up. Some were headed to work while others were simply starting their day with a morning walk. The now crowded land gave him an even bigger fear of Bdubs’s driving and his own death. At any moment they could reach their end.

“So, where are we going?” Etho gritted out. His heart lurched as Bdubs swerved across the lane. He heard a honk from behind him and looked in the mirror to see a woman throw her hands up in her car. He silently apologized on behalf of Bdubs.

“The mall! We have a fitting to get to.” Bdubs said with no explanation. What fitting? Huh?

He found out exactly what he meant when he and Bdubs walked up to a place called Suit and Shoot. He had never touched a place like this before.

“You ever been to a suit store before?” Bdubs asked.

Etho shook his head. “The last time I wore a suit was when I went to my brother's weddings.”

“What’s their names?” Bdubs asked innocently. Etho closed his eyes. Damnit. Oh well, it was bound to happen.

“Patho and Logo.”

“You’re fucking with me.”

“We’re triplets.”

“Fuck off.”

Etho sighed. He loved his mother, but sometimes he wished she didn’t smoke so much weed back in the 80s. Oh well, maybe this was just his punishment. He should stop saying things about himself. Actually, maybe he should stop speaking. Then again, he doubted Bdubs would let him.

“Welcome to Suit and Shoot! How can I- Etho? Bdubs?”

As if this situation couldn’t get any stranger. “Iskall?!” Etho gasped.

Iskall fiddled with measuring tape. “What are you two doing here?”

“What are YOU doing here?” Bdubs accused. “You were just at the cafe. How did you get here so quickly? Do you work everywhere?”

It was more of a rhetorical question, but honestly, Etho wanted to know as well. He only knew his old friend was working at that thrift shop, but a cafe and suit fitting store as well? How many hours a week did this man work? When did he sleep?

Iskall sighed. “Etho, follow me. Bdubs, you go with Wels.”

Wels gestured for Bdubs to walk ahead of him into a side room. Bdubs threw a peace sign at Etho before disappearing through the door. Etho sighed and followed Iskall towards his own fitting room. Did he really need this? What was the point?

Etho let his mind wander while Iskall measured him. What was this even for? Why was he at a fitting at 8am? What was the meaning of life? Wait, this was getting a bit too deep for him. He shouldn’t think that deep. He hasn’t known Bdubs for long, but from what he knows is he did everything with a purpose. What was that purpose? Etho didn’t know. He just knew there was a purpose behind it.

“Alright, done. Give me an hour. What’s this for anyway?”

Etho was taken back. He didn’t know much about being a tailor but didn’t it take days? Today was already strange, though. Might as well make it weirder. “No clue, Bdubs’ idea.”

Iskall looked suspicious. “You two are up to quite a lot today, aren’t you? What’s going on? Big tip for Stress and a suit. You finally take Cleo’s advice?”

Etho’s face heated up. “No! Nothing like that! God, no. Why would you- no. Anyway, it’s just…a thing. I’d rather not talk about it.”

Iskall raised an eyebrow. “Now I’m even more suspicious. Alright, I’ll leave you to it. His shoes do kinda look expensive though, if you’re not gonna, I might-.”

“ISKALL!”

Etho was instructed to wait in the front while Iskall finished up their suits. Etho stopped asking questions long ago. Bdubs joined hom not long after, chatting away. Etho closed his eyes, hoping to get a bit of sleep before the two tailors were finished. Was Iskall even qualified to work here? Was he qualified to work anywhere?

“Etho, wake up.”

He was shaken back into reality seconds later. He glanced down at his phone and saw he had indeed fallen asleep. Iskall was standing in front of him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “Welcome back sleeping beauty.”

Etho yawned. “Take me back.”

Iskall pulled his arms. “Nope, I didn’t fix this damn suit for you to sleep in my waiting room. Get up.”

“Your waiting room?” Etho asked, not quite believing the implication Iskall owned the place. How rich was his friend?

Despite Iskall’s many occupations, Etho had to admit, he made a damn good suit. Etho turned in the mirror, admiring the blue and red outfit. He’s never owned something so fancy. He also didn’t have money to pay for it.

Iskall seemed to read his mind. “Your friend paid for it, I know this is out of your pay range. Which brings me to my previous question.”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Etho walked out finally knowing what it was like to be rich. Well, he was still pretty poor, but at least now he looked like he was big money. Bdubs was in a matching green and red suit looking like a walking christmas tree. Etho kept it to himself but silently made it his goal to get someone else to bring it up. He didn’t have a death wish, considering he was already set to die, but someone else could take the bullet and make the comment.

Bdubs grinned, holding his arms out. “Fancy, right?”

Etho stifled a laugh. “Yep, dapper. So, not that this isn’t fun, but what was the point?”

“You’ll see, let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Mcdonald’s.”

Walking into a McDonalds in a three piece suit was definitely not something he thought he would do today. It wasn’t something he thought he would ever do, actually. They got some weird looks but the euphoria he felt about having no cares as to what others thought pushed the looks away. Who gave a shit what some middle aged mom thought when he was going to order chicken nuggets in a fancy outfit.

Bdubs marched up to the cashier with his head held high. The name tag said ‘Grian’ and the guy looked halfway between wanting to die and wanting to kill. They barely phased him. Poor dude probably saw more shit in a day than they did their whole lives. Their shenanigans were nothing.

“What?”

Etho glanced through the menu. “I’ll have a ten piece chicken nugget with a large fry. Oh, and a chocolate milkshake. What do you want?”

“I’ll have the same, but a twenty piece.” Bdubs added, holding out his card.

Grian sighed and took the card. He was going to hand it back but instantly froze. His eyes narrowed and for a minute Etho thought they were in trouble. “Tommy.”

Etho turned around and noticed a teenager standing behind him. He was grinning ear to ear looking right at Grian. “Groin! I didn’t expect you here!”

“Groin?” Bdubs whispered. Etho shrugged, just wanting his chicken nuggets.

“Iskall!” Grian called behind him. “I’ll be back, I have to eat Tommy’s walls again!”

“DON’T YOU DARE!” A voice yelled from the back.

“Iskall? You work here?” They had just seen him make their suits, why was he at a McDonalds? Why was he at any of these places besides the store he owned? Did he own this McDonalds too?

Iskall grabbed Grian’s shirt. “Leave and I’ll burn your house.”

“Don’t eat my house again!” The child, Tommy, cried in despair. Etho glanced at Bdubs and silently moved out of line. Whatever this soap opera was, he didn’t want any part of it. They had paid and that was all that mattered.

“So, Iskall works at a lot of places, huh?” Bdubs asked.

Etho shrugged. “I honestly don’t know if he actually works there.” A loud crash distracted the two and they saw a man storm out from an office. His nametag claimed him as Xisuma, the manager. Oh boy, this was about to get interesting.

“What is all this mess about?” The manager asked.

Iskall pointed at his coworker. “Don’t look at me, Grian is threatening to eat that kid's house again. I’m pretty sure this is against store code or something.”

“It is.” Xisuma turned to Tommy. “You want a job?”

“WHAT?” Screeched Grian.

Everyone ignored him. “Fuck yeah! Sign me up boss man!”

Xisuma waved them off and left for the office again. “Great, start now.”

Iskall sighed and reached for a bag of food. “Great, now I have to train a newbee. Take your damn food, Etho.”

Etho smiled in sympathy. “Good luck buddy.”

Etho was very careful with the sauce. He refused to ruin his new fancy suit. Sure, he would only have his suit for today, seeing as he was gonna die, but that didn’t matter. It was the principle. The world had other plans, however.

“Fuck!” Etho yelled, dropping ketchup onto his jacket. He grabbed a napkin and dabbed at it, hoping it wouldn’t stain.

“He’s goated with the sauce.”

Etho turned back towards the counter. The new trainee, Tommy, stared him down. Etho felt his skin crawl. “What?”

Tommy pointed. “Quirked up white boy bustin it down sexual style. Is he goated with the sauce?”

Etho looked at Bdubs, who shrugged his shoulders. “Are you?”

Etho was gonna pass out.

“Can we go?” Etho asked, pushing away the rest of his meal. He didn’t wait for Bdubs and instead hurried out of the McDonalds. Bdubs rushed after, throwing a quick thank you to Grian. Tommy shouted back instead, vastly misinterpreting it.

“I want to go hiking. We can drive to the mountain, but I want to get to the top.” Bdubs led the way to his car. Etho still couldn’t shake his anxiety of getting in that car. After the first close call he wanted nothing to do with that death trap. He did not want to die in a car. He had avoided cars for so long it would piss him off to die in one.

“I don’t think I’ve been hiking in years, I’m down. Converse aren’t the best but I’ll deal with it. It’s not like my feet are gonna hurt tomorrow.” Etho jokes. Bdubs punched him in the arm at the sick comedy.

Etho didn’t know if Bdubs drove like a maniac because he was going to die, or if that was his usual style. But he weaved through traffic like a tetris player in the middle of a prize winning competition. He either ignored the honking or straight up didn’t hear them. He was so focused on getting to whatever mountain they were heading to he nearly hit an elderly woman. He missed though. It wasn’t her day to die, then.

Bdubs slowed as they left the city. Etho had never really left, he’d grown up surrounded by metal and concrete. Maybe it was nice to die away from it all? Somewhere strange and new. Beautiful and wild. The mountains loomed large and dark, so similar yet different from his home, and in a way so like his enclosing fate. The paved roads changed to dirt and open landscapes changed to tall spruce and oak trees.

Etho threw himself out of the car as soon as they hit the forest. Bdubs ignored him and stretched. He grabbed a stick on the ground and tested its weight. “Look at that! Free walking stick!”

Etho groaned and pushed himself up. The one good thing about dying today; he would never have to deal with Bdubs’ god-awful driving ever again. After all, this was probably the last place they would end up. They somehow hadn’t died on the road. Etho had no clue how they could die on the mountain, though. Would they be killed by some bear?

Bdubs poked Etho with his stick. “Come on, we’re not dead yet.”

Etho pushed himself up and sighed. “No, but we’re pretty damn close. Let’s go, maybe this mountain is a volcano and is gonna explode soon.”

“Now that would be a way to go!”

Etho had to admit the long trek was relaxing on his mind. It was painful and he had to stop way too often, but he was disappointed he hadn’t done this more. He didn’t really believe in an afterlife or some god he’s supposed to see, but if he were to be reincarnated, he hoped he were smart enough to think about coming here. Maybe he would even be a tree. A nice dark oak tree.

Neither of them talked much during those next few hours. They didn’t have much to talk about. They were just waiting at this point. Who would be first? Etho or Bdubs? Etho didn’t know if he hoped it was him or not. It was a stupid and horrible system, the whole phone call business.

The top of the mountain was even more amazing, especially at that time of the day. The city was far, but Etho could still see the lights sparkling. The forest around them was dark with the waning light, only the last rays of sun dipped over the horizon and lit up clouds of pink and purple. Etho couldn’t help but stand and watch as the light disappeared and plunged them into darkness. Pink clouds were quickly replaced by gray whisps, the moon taking the place of the sun.

“Damn, it’s beautiful up here at night.” Bdubs breathed out.

Etho had to agree. The day had been long and tumultuous, but looking at the billions of stars was worth the climb. The day was ending and they had little time left. He had never been in the woods at night, but now that he was, he was glad he had come.

“I didn’t even say bye to my roommate.” Etho admitted.

Bdubs turned to him curiously. “Why not?”

Etho shrugged. “I couldn’t. I don’t want his last thoughts about me to be me dying.”

Bdubs sighed. “I told my roommate and he kinda understood. I told him that I’d rather not spend it sitting in my room just waiting for it. I can’t do that. You didn’t tell your family?”

Another shrug. “Same reason. Maybe it’s bad, but I want them to remember the happy stuff, ya know?”

“That kinda makes sense.” Bdubs admitted. “I think mine would try to stop it. I mean, you can’t, but they would try. They wouldn’t just let me wait around for it. That’s why I went out today.”

Etho nodded. He could understand that. Waiting for death seemed like a personal hell. He’s heard stories of people trying to get out of death by staying in one place the whole day only for someone to break in or die of a heart attack. Some people choose how they go out and a suicide death is slapped on. He always wondered what those people thought right before they did it. What if that truly was how they were to die? If they just had someone come at the right time, could death be cheated? Or were they destined to simply die one day, death be damned how it happens.

There were only a few hours left in the day. He was getting tired as well. All the adventures had taken so much out of him. It wasn’t just the running around and non-stop trips, though he had to admit multiple of those were his idea. He was hungry, they had missed dinner after all. He hadn’t expected to end up on top of a mountain, but he also hadn’t expected to die today. Hungry, tired, and ready to die, Etho was feeling content with how things had turned out. He could stop stressing knowing there was nothing he could do, there was no stopping the inevitable.

“What would you do if today didn’t happen?”

Etho glanced over at Bdubs lying on the ground. “Good question. Probably be working on a computer. I wouldn’t have done the dishes. I don’t really do much, I usually end up causing trouble when I do.”

Bdubs grinned. “So graphic design is your passion?”

Etho threw a branch at Bdubs. “Shut up. What about you?”

Bdubs shrugged. “Dunno. I’m kinda the opposite. I really like to explore the city. I get inspiration from random stuff I see so I’d probably just take a walk somewhere. I’ve been into photography lately. I wouldn’t have spent it running around with you.

“I wouldn’t have spent it in a car with your bad driving.” Etho grinned.

“Hey!” Bdubs yelled. “My driving is impeccable. You can’t even drive."

“I don’t need to drive to know you’re the worst driver in the world.”

“Why I outta-”

Bdubs complaining was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. Etho’s phone. He looked at the caller ID and nearly dropped it. He was only supposed to hear from Death once in his life. Bdubs caught a look at it the same moment Etho did and paled. Why were they calling again? They never called twice. At least, not that he’s heard of.

“Answer it.” Bdubs forced out. Etho didn’t want to. Can someone die twice? Is that even possible?

Etho slid to accept the call anyway and heard the preppy voice of Death. “Hello! Is this Etho Slab?”

“Yes.” Etho answered shakily.

“Thank goodness I caught you! There appears to have been a mixup in our system. Your name was replaced with someone else. This is a 1 in 7 trillion chance of this happening.”

Etho fell to his knees. All day, all damn day he had feared every step he took, every breath, and it turned out it was a lie? He was going to pass out. “Oh.”

“Yes, congratulations! You live another day. Funeral plans will be canceled immediately and optional therapy sessions will be available to you. Have a wonderful day!”

They hung up. They dropped that bomb and just hung up. Etho stared at Bdubs, looking equally as shocked. “I’m not gonna die.”

Seconds after, Bdubs phone buzzed in his pocket. The two stared, not giving into the thought of it being the same call. There was no way. It was impossible. “H- Hello?”

Etho stared at Bdubs. He couldn’t hear the conversation, but could only assume the same conversation was happening on the other end.

Bdubs nodded but remembered they couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

There was a beat of silence and Bdubs hung up. He’d heard everything he needed to. This wasn’t happening but it was. He sat on the ground trying to process this new information.

“We’re not gonna die.” He whispered, smiling at Etho. “Etho, we’re not gonna die!”

Etho fell onto his back and gazed at the sky. Bdubs’s shouts of excitement were background noise to the racing thoughts. How does he even move on from this? He has trauma now. Bdubs sat next to Etho. He was grinning like a madman. How was he so happy when the world had just been flipped. An hour. They would’ve had an hour left.

What had happened to the other two? There were two people out there who didn’t realize they were dying today. Had they already died? Were they dying? How did it happen? They weren’t even warned, they didn’t spend their last days how they wished. Etho felt guilt gnaw at him. It wasn’t his fault, though. He didn’t tell people about their death. This wasn’t on him. He tried to rationalize with himself but the thought that he was selfishly spending the day carelessly while others lived in ignorant demise ate at him.

“What do we even do now?” Etho asked.

Bdubs shrugged. “Go back to life. Just, ya know, be normal guys. Bros being dudes.”

Etho had fun with Bdubs today. Sure, they never would have met were it not for the mixup, or maybe they would. Maybe this was fate's weird way of bringing them together. Either way, he didn’t want to leave his new friend. He had more fun than he had in months all in one day. He didn’t want to go back to normal life. He couldn’t.

“You’ll have to give me your address and stuff, though. I wanna meet that cat of yours you mentioned.” It was like his mind was read.

Etho laughed. “Yeah, lemme take a week to recover from this, then we’ll talk.” God, he couldn’t wait to tell Beef about this.

#ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #hermitcraft fic #key writes

115 notes · View notes

volfoss · 3 years ago

Note

ships to rate: bruabba and gyjo? maybe even yasugap if you're up for it

ok ur about to see such a long post its nto even gonna be funny, tldr i love them all

also gonna put a fic i really like for them if ive read one/ a fic idea i wanna write plus maybe ranting, this is not coherent but my spelling isnt too bad

post under cut bc its very long

Bruabba:

my loves my lifes

they r so soft for each other

the fucking rain scene when bruno extends his umbrella

and how bruno is like trying to hold back his emotions post abba dying

in case its not super obvious by the sheer volume of bruabba content i reblog this is one of my otps

ALSO the fucking boat scene where abba pretty much is like yeah ur home bruno

ajdskjghdsgjk

hc that they r meeting up in the afterlife w nara and having a good time (also read a phenomenal fic about it that ill link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33118039 it is emotionally fucking me up days later <3)

dads dads dads but bruno is the caring dad that just gets you and takes care of you in the most gentle way and will sacrifice himself over and over again to see u happy and abba is the sitting in the armchair and u sneak in like 2 minutes past ur curfew ur busted but i was also worried about you

these two men own my whole heart (also my ao3 history i exclusively am reading bruabba and dadbacchio)

i have so so many thoughts toward them like yeah i just love them so much

i will never ever not write them as in love

t4t and bi4bi

every single canon thing about them makes me so soft but i think what makes me softest is just how its so clear that they rely on each other in situations

fanon interpretation rant rq:

but how some ppl really interpret them so ooc that its just like bruno mommy and abba cares about literally none of their kids (explanation on the mommy thing is bc most of things that do that are weird bc they really r treating bruno like a single parent who is raising the gang on his own and thats all when abba is literally there and caring about ppl (ie the purple haze incident w giorno, like he wasnt the most nice in his wording but why else would he be like hi move away from the danger if he didnt care??)

ppl also just tend to not really do the separation between how abba acts around others and how he acts towards bruno and has him being kinda aggressive towards him for literally no reason when they r literally so soft w each other

and also they r both so fucking pretty and i am in love with them both

if i think about them too long i will combust and i am blaming u solely for that one

ship dynamic of savior x savior bc they both really did save each other and i love them sm

fic ideas for them r they both live and leave passione and take their kids w them <3 (gang would crumble but thats not my problem)

ok also another hc that i have for them is that bruno will buy larger sweaters and wear them and give them to abba if hes having a rough time, they have a shared closet imo

10/10 ship

Gyjo:

OK OK OK

FEELINGS ON MAX

these guys r also my beloved but in a depressed x very happy but hiding depression way

the the fuckingn way that gyro ltierally risks everything in the ringo roadagain fight to save jognny

and the way that johnny is literally fucking broken post gyro persiheing and adopts his speech pattern a bit and ugh

I am obsessed w gyjo but i think the funniest crack ship is poly but w diego and they all fucking suffer (fic that sold me on that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887796/chapters/54705517)

i cannot find the one fic that i really loved for them but needless to say i am soft w them living and just being together

update i found it: its a modern au and really really sweet! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31821940/chapters/78780595

one day ill actually write the fic idea i had for them which was basically they live and they dont sell the land they got from the sugar mountain arc and johnny wanted to start somewhere fresh anyways and gyro adopts marco and they make a lil log cabin and have a nice rest of their lives

i am a massive sucker for their ship

ALSO how johnny is always laughing at gyros jokes

smth i wish we got more of in canon were those moments where they just chilled and talked and had those kinda interactions

fandom complaining time!! the fucking way that some ppl just really take the gyro funny and johnny submissive trope is like my biggest pet peeve. did they not read sbr?? did they not see the multiple times that johnny has murdery eyes? i think personally its ppl infantilizing him a lot and it makes me really frustrated

ok also a fic that really really fills me desire for a they all live and everyone is happy is this one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812394

i love them sm but unfortunately cannot have coherent thoughts about them :(

10/10 ship

Yasugap:

gonna start this out w saying i did mildly speedread through jojolion so i dont have as many big screamy thoughts

BUT!!! them!!!!!

their canon interactions r the cutest thing and even if they werent, id ship it solely to spite joshu

josuke is a million trillion times better for yasuho (not just bc of how joshu is a fucking freak and is absolutely the worst i would run him over with a dump truck)

i really like how they both r so happy around each other but i think my favorite scene w them is when yasuho has to explain to josuke that hes crying and hes just like :') yeah

but they have so so many cute moments and the ending makes them the only couple to make it out of this list

i love how yasuho is just like willing to drop anything to help him and how they help each other out a lot during the whole time (if im remembering right?)

their dynamic is just 2 sweethearts

also love the moment that hes like look away yasuho :) then proceeds to beat a man up

they r canon (as is everyone else sorry <3)

i dont read a lot of part 8 fic since i need to reread it to properly understand the plot post like chapter 65? so i dont have any recs or complaints

BUT i do have a few hcs!!

i think yasuho would get josuke matching phone straps or phone cases

and when they move in together, i think they would raise sugar gliders (or potentially kidnap squirrels from the local park)

i love all of yasuho and josukes interactions but oh man every time that josukes past gets brought up i do start bawling

they both mean the world to me and how their romance is just built on such a clear foundation of trust and care it makes me so soft

they both give off such dog ppl energy tho and i love that for them

ALSO ok the way that yasuho helps josuke w his memory and is always there for him

i will never ever ever get over them

but i think one of my favorite scenes is the one right at the beginning where she gives josuke his name and how that plays into the rest of the story with him discovering his identity but still clinging to the one that she gave him since it was him, he wasnt just kira or josefumi he was josuke

10/10

if i think about them anymore i will start sobbing, the last chapter wrapped every last thing up so well and im so so glad that it did

#vento aureo spoilers #sbr spoilers #jjl spoilers #asks #wholesome mutuals

17 notes · View notes

crowfootwrites · 4 years ago

Text

A Night on the Town [Rafael Barba x OC]

Mayans MC has been consuming my life recently, so I've mostly been posting SOA/Mayans content, but SVU's Rafael Barba took my fanfic virginity, so I wanted to post another Barba piece.

I am currently working on a very long Barba x OC fanfic (it currently stands at about 50,000 words) but I don't want to post any of it until it's done because I would feel so bad if I never finished it. I wrote this smutty little chapter, but I can't really fit into the larger piece anywhere right now, so I figured I'd post it as a standalone. I'm leaving it as my OC, Dahlia, because that's who I wrote it for.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut (seriously, the whole thing is smut); language; alcohol use; unwanted advances | Words: 3,575

Dahlia picked up the cell phone buzzing on the table and grinned to see the caller ID flashing “Sonny Carisi”.

“Sonny!” she exclaimed as she answered it. Rafael chuckled from the couch. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would actively want to be friends with Sonny, who grated his every last nerve; but to be fair, Dahlia was one of the friendliest people he knew, so he figured it was probably just him that was easily annoyed by Sonny’s overeager personality. He knew that Dahlia didn’t have too many friends in the city, besides her sister, so he was glad that she could talk to Sonny.

“Um, yes!” Dahlia said excitedly. “That sounds so fun!” There was a pause, punctuated by Dahlia’s quiet mhmm’s and yeah’s. Then, “Well, I don’t know if he’ll want to, but I’ll ask.”

Rafael groaned quietly. What was she going to try to rope him into? He’d had a long week and he really wanted nothing more than a calm night on the couch. He heard her put the phone back on the counter. He looked up at her, his eyebrow already quirked as she came around the couch to stand in front of him, hand planted on her hip. She smiled at him sweetly; so sweetly he could practically see the halo around her head. He was in for trouble.

“What?” he asked amusedly.

“Sonny and Amanda are going out to this new bar in Williamsburg, and they asked if we would like to join them,” she told him matter-of-factly.

Rafael sighed. “Mi amor, I’m so tired. It’s been a long week. I definitely think you should go if you want to, but I don’t know if I have it in me,” he said, watching her face for any sign of disappointment. There were none, which was strange. Dahlia was not good at hiding her emotions. One of his favorite things about her was how open she was with her feelings. So, this either meant that she wasn’t disappointed, or that he was about to lose a battle that hadn’t even started. He grimaced at the thought.

Suddenly, Dahlia was climbing over him on the couch, planting her knees and straddling his hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, all of her movements languid, which Rafael knew meant she was feeling some kind of way. She put on a pout and Rafael groaned, knowing he was doomed.

“It’s just so much more fun when we’re together, Rafa,” she whined. Her hips shifted a little in his lap and it immediately sent a jolt to his groin.

“No fair, niñita,” he mumbled, throwing his head back. He ran a cursory hand over her side, coming to rest on her ass.

Dahlia leaned forward so her lips were pressed against his ear. “I was planning on wearing a new dress that I think you’ll like,” she murmured, and Rafael shivered. “And if you come with me, I promise to make it worth your while.” She pulled back a little and when Rafael brought his eyes back down to meet hers, she was wearing a smirk that he desperately wanted to wipe off her face. His eyes flashed intensely, the green seeming brighter than usual, and Dahlia knew she had him. Honestly, she knew she had him before she even sat down, but she also never wanted to underestimate Rafael Barba.

Twenty minutes later, they were in their bedroom, Rafael trying (and mostly failing) to keep his hands off of Dahlia as she got ready. She had been right about the dress, he did like it, very much. It was a short, lemon yellow number, something Dahlia had called “fit & flare”, and in combination with her bright red hair, Rafael knew she’d be attracting all sorts of attention. Not that he minded. Whenever they went out, he thoroughly enjoyed watching other men’s faces after she came to sit on his lap or pulled him in by the lapels for a kiss.

He watched as she pulled on a pair of nude platform wedges and had to physically sit on his hands on the bed to stop himself from running a hand up her legs. She shut herself in the bathroom for a few moments to touch up her makeup. Rafael was, thankfully, still dressed from work, so he didn’t have to change, which would have made this battle a little more difficult for Dahlia. He re-buttoned his navy, pinstripe waistcoat and slipped his shoes back on, still not entirely ready to be back on the town after the day he’d had.

In the cab, Dahlia clung tightly to his arm, and he relished in the warmth coming from her. She was oddly quiet, staring directly ahead with a look of thorough concentration on her face.

“You alright?” he asked her quietly.

She glanced at him, then down at her lap. When she looked back at him again, she was grinning.

“I told you I’d make this worth your while, right?”

Rafael raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“Do you trust me?” she asked. Rafael narrowed his eyes but nodded. She held her hand out. “I need to see your phone for a minute.” Rafael’s heart thrummed. Dahlia had never once touched his phone, and he had no idea what she was about to do. Not that he was worried; he had nothing to hide from her. He just didn’t like being confused. He unlocked his phone and handed it to her. She quickly turned away from him, shielding what she was doing with her back. A few moments later, she was handing the phone back, and an app he had never seen was open on his screen.

Rafael stared at it in confusion. He looked back up at Dahlia for clarification, and she was grinning wickedly at him. She glanced up at the cabbie for a moment, then leaned into murmur to Rafael, “This controls the vibrator that I’m wearing tonight.”

Rafael’s face remained mostly controlled, but Dahlia saw the slight flexing of his jaw and she smirked at him again. His eyes flashed hot and she knew she had done well. He glanced down at the phone, then back up at Dahlia, his thumb sliding over the control button in the app. He watched her vigilantly as he pressed down, and a shudder racked through Dahlia, biting down on her lower lip.

Rafael grinned roguishly. “Oh, mi amor, you have definitely made this worthwhile,” he growled.

Dahlia winked at him, then put a hand gently on his arm. “I haven’t used this in public before, so I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to hide it.”

“I won’t overdo it.”

Just then, the cab pulled up outside of the bar, and Rafael helped Dahlia out, a million questions running through his mind. How long has she had this? Has she been sitting on this idea for a while? This is something she actively wants to do? She was handing over complete control to him all night long, in public, and while Dahlia preferred a more submissive role in the bedroom, this seemed to be something of a departure from her preferred turn-ons. Rafael realized the level of trust that she was giving him and he was determined not to take advantage.

The bar was in an old, nondescript building with exposed brick behind peeling paint. A small neon sign and a few small clumps of people smoking outside heralded their arrival, otherwise Rafael might have missed it completely. They made their way inside, and Rafael noted a few heads already turning to glance at Dahlia as they passed. He bit back a grin. Maybe this night would be fun after all.

They found Sonny and Amanda almost immediately, at a cozy table near the back corner of the bar. The inside was one long room, with a bar that ran the length of the building up one side, and booths and tables down the other. The whole place was decorated with bistro lights hung from the ceiling and palm trees scattered all around. It was loud inside, dance music pulsing out of the speakers, and the drone of drunk patrons talking and laughing. Fortunately, it was a little quieter at the table Sonny and Amanda had grabbed, but not by much.

“Dahlia! Barba!” Sonny called in greeting as they approached the table. He and Amanda both rose to hug Dahlia and each shook Rafael’s hand, not daring to touch him more than that. It always amused Dahlia how afraid people seemed to be of Rafael. But if she was being completely honest, it was kind of a turn-on.

When Sonny turned to Amanda to ask her something, Dahlia glanced up at Rafael from the cocktail menu. “Scotch, guapo?” He nodded at her with a smile and she excused herself to the bar. He couldn’t help but stare as she walked away, her hips swaying beneath the swinging of her dress. She leaned forward a little on the bar, trying to track down the bartender, and Rafael exhaled hard at the slight lifting of her hem. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it to stare down at the app. He spied the pulse setting, turned the intensity down, not wanting to startle her too much, then pressed the button.

He watched as Dahlia’s entire body stiffened, her head whirling around the glare at him. But he saw the playful smile on her lips and winked at her. He watched as she turned away, but crossed her legs at the calves, clenching her thighs. He didn’t notice the fascination with which Sonny and Amanda stared at him staring at Dahlia.

By the time Dahlia returned to the table, carrying Rafael’s scotch and her own Aviation, Sonny had pulled Rafael’s attention into a conversation about their most recent case. Dahlia watched as Sonny engaged with Rafael with his usual vigor and friendliness and smiled to herself as Rafael responded shortly and with just a hint of condescension. He was nothing if not consistent, and he was consistently her grouchy, self-assured man. She set his scotch on the table in front of him, then sat, chatting with Amanda about work and how Jesse was doing. Eventually, conversations converged, and Rafael was able to turn his attention back to Dahlia. He gazed at her for a moment, before sliding his hand into his pocket and hitting the button again. Dahlia’s body tensed again and she exhaled hard, dropping her forehead on her palm, elbow propped on the table.

“You ok, doll?” Sonny asked curiously. Amanda turned to look at Dahlia too and Rafael noticed the flush creeping across her cheeks.

She flashed them a smile that was all teeth and choked out, “I’m fine. Just… cramps.”

Rafael bit back a laugh. He slid his hand over to her thigh and gave it a squeeze, thoroughly enjoying watching her squirm. She looked at him and rolled her eyes, before crossing her legs tightly, knees stacked. Rafael watched as she took a deep breath and her muscles finally relaxed. He pressed the button again and observed a very different response from Dahlia this time around. Her eyes blinked heavily and she bit her lower lip, breathing a sigh that only Rafael could hear. She shifted in her seat and gazed at him hungrily. As Sonny held Amanda’s attention in the background, Dahlia picked her phone up off the table and pulled up her texts to Rafael.

DR: Te deseo, Rafa. No se si puedo esperar hasta que llegamos a casa. (I want you, Rafa. I don’t know if I can wait until we get home.)

When the phone buzzed in Rafael’s pocket, he pulled it out to look. He let out a low whistle, impressed with Dahlia’s multitasking capabilities. She had already turned her attention back to the conversation at the table, chatting happily as if she hadn’t just sent a dirty text to her boyfriend who also happened to be getting her all riled up.

He swallowed hard, considering how he wanted to play this. His fingers flew over his phone as he typed out his response.

RB: Well, you’ll just have to, querida. I want you to have plenty of time to think about all the ways I’m going to have you when we get home.

Dahlia glanced down to scan the incoming text and Rafael watched vigilantly as his words sunk in

and she shivered. She turned briefly to make eye contact with him, a sly look on her face. She turned away to face Amanda, declaring, “I love this song!” She grabbed Amanda’s hand and they made their way towards the center of the bar where a throng of bodies had already started gathering as the night wore on. Rafael looked on as Amanda and Dahlia danced carelessly through a few songs, their bodies flush against one another. Seeing the way Dahlia moved, and knowing what she was hiding from everyone but him, turned him on immensely, and he used every ounce of self-control he had to turn his mind away from the fact that he was half-hard.

Sonny turned to glance at Rafael with a laugh. “They look like they’re having a good time,” he chuckled, taking another sip of his beer. Rafael grinned. Dahlia glanced back to their table and winked at him. She looked dazzling to Rafael, her hair and dress shifting colors under the bar lights, her smile wide and radiant. She knew he wouldn’t join her on the dance floor, and so she teased him. Well, he could tease her right back, couldn’t he?

His phone in hand, Rafael turned the setting up one notch and held the control button down for a few long seconds. His eyes followed Dahlia, who had her back pressed against Amanda as they danced, as she bit her lower lip, her eyes fluttering, her hand traveling down as though she might touch herself then and there. Rafael felt another twitch in his pants, imagining her grinding against him that way. Dahlia appeared to suddenly remember where she was and straightened up a little, concealing her movements as dancing. But she shot a playful glare at Rafael, who tipped his head towards her. Dahlia turned towards Amanda and said something in her ear, then Amanda returned to the table as Dahlia headed back to the bar.

“Dahlia’s got this round,” Amanda offered as she slumped breathlessly in her chair. She turned to Rafael and added playfully, “You’ve got your hands full with that one, Barba.”

He smirked at her. “Don’t I know it,” he agreed. His gaze traveled back to Dahlia. She finished speaking to the bartender, who turned away, and Rafael’s eyes narrowed as she was approached by a guy who openly leered at her. He looked to be about Dahlia’s age, in very tight jeans and a fitted flannel shirt. Rafael snorted to himself at the beanie the guy was wearing. He looked like a try-hard, the kind of guy Dahlia could eat alive. Dahlia had turned to face him as he spoke to her and Rafael could see her shaking her head at him, smiling, trying to let him down easy. The guy appeared not to be taking no for an answer, and Rafael felt a flicker of anger lighting inside him. But before he could make a move, Dahlia was waltzing back towards him, holding a few beer bottles by their necks and another glass of scotch in her other hand. The man at the bar appeared to follow her, but Dahlia quickly dropped their drinks on the table, then seated herself in Rafael’s lap, where he immediately wound an arm around her waist protectively. He glared at the man, who scowled and changed course back towards the end of the bar.

Only then did Rafael realize that his turned-on girlfriend was sitting (and doing some almost imperceptible grinding) on his lap. His hand slipped to the hem of her dress as she returned to conversation with Sonny and Amanda as if nothing was amiss. Teasingly, he let his fingers wander along the inside of her thighs. When he reached her center, he clenched his jaw at the damp heat radiating off of her. He hastily withdrew his hand and slammed back the rest of his scotch.

“Amor, I’m sorry, I just remembered that I agreed to prep a motion for O’Dwyer,” he lied effortlessly. “Would it be alright if we head home?”

Dahlia glanced over her shoulder at him, an impish grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Of course, baby,” she cooed. She turned back to Amanda and Sonny, who both studied her skeptically.

“Thank you for the invite, this was so fun!” she exclaimed, hopping off Rafael’s lap. “We’ll have to do it again soon,” she added, pressing quick kisses to Amanda and Sonny’s cheeks in turn. They waved their goodbyes as Dahlia practically dragged Rafael out of the bar.

As they stood waiting for a taxi, Dahlia wound her hands around his neck, crashing her lips onto his frantically. Rafael did his best to keep up with her, noting the way she moved her hips against his. It took every bit of his strength not to start something right there on the sidewalk. Blessedly, he saw a taxi coming and flagged it down, nudging Dahlia into the backseat.

She was like a woman possessed, and by the time they stumbled into their apartment, Rafael was tearing at her clothes, eager for some release after a night of teasing. He pushed her up against the wall in their entryway, his lips locked on hers, his hands slithering up her thighs and grabbing her ass possessively.

“Do you know how hard it was to look at you bent over the bar in this dress?” he growled into the slope of her neck.

“How hard, Rafa?” she panted, working the buckle on his belt.

He grabbed one of her hands forcefully and pressed it against the bulge straining in his dress slacks. “That hard.”

Dahlia shuddered, her breath coming heavy and hot against his ear, as she finally managed to undo his belt and the zipper on his pants with her free hand. With a low moan, she pushed his pants and boxer briefs down his legs and ran her fingertips nimbly up the length of his cock. Every muscle in her body trembled with tension, her pussy clenching repeatedly, aching for some kind of release.

Rafael nipped hard at her neck, loving the breathy whimpers his mouth elicited from her. He tugged the waist of her dress up and she lifted her arms so he could pull it over her head and toss it to the side. He made quick work of her bra, and yanked her red panties down to her ankles. He lifted them up on one of his fingers and leered at her with a smirk.

“These were a good investment,” he mused, before tossing them to the side as well.

He grabbed Dahlia’s shoulders roughly and turned her so her heaving chest was pressed flush against the wall. He ran his hands gingerly down the curve of her spine before landing a sharp smack on her ass. Her breathing hitched and turned into a whine as Rafael spanked her again. He ran a slow finger between her legs finding her slick between her folds. He had to have her.

While Rafael considered himself a very generous lover, and always made it a point to take his time with foreplay, he needed to be inside her, a need that gnawed at the edge of his consciousness as he lined himself up with her entrance. His left hand snaked around to grab at her throat, applying a little pressure as he thrust himself into her. A loud whimper spilled over her lips as his right hand found its way to her clit, rubbing firm circles as she rocked against his hand.

After a long night of teasing, Dahlia was already on edge. It didn’t take long for Rafael’s clever fingers to push her over. She came hard, wailing his name with her cheek pressed harshly against the wall, clamping down on his cock inside her. The increase in pressure around him had Rafael reeling; he buried himself deep inside her a few more times until he came, grunting her name, interspersed with a string of profanities. He collapsed against her back, working to even out his breathing.

“Fuck, Raf,” she huffed. “I’ve been thinking about you doing that since the first time you hit that goddamn button.”

Rafael chuckled, wincing slightly as he pulled out of Dahlia. She turned to face him, resting her shoulders against the cool wall as her hips swayed forward. She pushed her hair haphazardly out of her flushed face, her eyes sparkling in satisfaction.

“Shower?” she purred, feeling the stickiness dripping between her thighs. She ran a finger teasingly down Rafael’s chest.

He eyed her greedily, need still simmering in his belly. “Oh, we’re not done yet, mi amor. I promised to have you multiple ways, and I am nothing if not a man of my word.”

Dahlia’s eyes widened as Rafael wrapped his arms around her hips. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, yelping as he carried her purposefully to their bedroom for a little more fun.

#law and order svu #svu #svu fanfiction #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba x oc #mayans mc #ada rafael barba #rafael barba one shot

44 notes · View notes

andithiel · 5 years ago

Text

New fic: Of toenail clippings and designer underwear

Author: Andithiel Pairing: Drarry Rating: T Length: 4k Tags: EWE, Healer Student Harry,Terrible flatmates,Appalling hygiene, Pining Harry Potter, Oblivious Harry Potter, Smug Hermione, Banter, Snarky Draco Malfoy, Draco in lingerie, Harry getting an aneurysm, oh my god they were roommates, Implied sexy times Summary: Harry is tired of walking in on Ron and Hermione in various states of undress. But since Pansy recently moved in with Ginny there’s another room available. The fact that the room in question is in the same flat where Malfoy lives shouldn’t cause any problems. Right?

Excerpt: The door to the bathroom opened and Harry’s jaw dropped, because out stepped Malfoy in a cloud of vapour, skin still damp from the shower, and with a towel wrapped around his waist. Harry choked as Malfoy let out a little sigh of contentment and flicked his hair, little droplets of water hitting Harry on the face. Suddenly, Harry’s trousers felt tight, and he sensed heat rising up on his neck, probably caused by the steam from the shower. He cleared his throat and Malfoy turned to him, looking surprised.

“Oh, Potter, back already?”

“Yeah,” Harry said. “I guess you didn’t hear me come in, so I assume that’s why you’re… this informal.”

Malfoy paused, and Harry tried desperately to keep his eyes on Malfoy’s face and not on his pink nipples and shiny skin and Merlin, it really was getting hot in the room.

“Informal? You mean I’m failing to follow the appropriate dress code for being recently out of the shower?”

“Yeah, er, I guess you have a point. I just… I think, since we’re going to live together, we need to establish some… rules, or guidelines, on how to dress properly,” Harry said, shifting in his seat to cross his legs.

Malfoy followed his actions with his gaze, his eyes lighting up. “Right,” he said slowly, with an ominous sweetness to his voice. “I guess you’re right. I’ll make sure to, ah, dress more properly in the future. Wouldn’t want you to get an aneurysm upon seeing my naked chest,” he continued, and Harry realised he’d been staring. Shit. He hastily looked down to his book again, pretending to read.

“Uh, yeah, thanks Malfoy, I appreciate it,” he mumbled, glancing up when Malfoy sauntered off towards his room, the twin dimples above his arse moving tantalisingly as he went.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Read the rest on AO3

My first submission for @gameofdrarry Ides of Drarry! It took me a while to get into this prompt, but then someone posted this picture on the Drarry discord and I had to include Draco in lingerie. Thank you so much to my beta crew @etalice @scarshavestories and @kristinabrd for helping me and squeeing with me, I love you all so much 💖 💖 💖

#drarry #drarry squad #draco malfoy #harry potter #ides of drarry #pining #banter #snarky draco #draco in lingerie #really guys check out this picture #it's hot af #andithielwrites #again!

53 notes · View notes

arkus-rhapsode · 6 years ago

Text

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest Chapter 12 Review

Oh my god... What the heck is even going on?

So our cover page is Natsu and Lucy, and Natsu I hope you enjoy that brain freeze.

So we open on Jellal confronting Touka. We learn like how Avatar was devoted to black magic there was a group devoted to white magic. Now this is cool, but literally if you watch the anime recently, that arc was done in 5 episodes. So this feels really odd on how much effort is being put into it.

Like if there was like something tying into Tenrou or hell edolas, that make more sense, given all thee time on it.

So Jellal describes White magic as a philosophy of nothingness, which that doesn’t make sense. Fans of yugioh gx might compare this the darkness and light in that series and how darkness led to creation while light was subjugation. But Black magic is clearly about ending life or manipulating life. I guess you could dumb it down to all life, but literal Ankherseram black magic is portrayed as nothing but death. So wouldn’t white be about life? I guess nothingness as life without personality isn’t wrong, but this feels like a stretch.

Also, Mashima said anyone could learn any type of magic. So why is that an abnormality? Like if this was Black Clover where you are assigned a single affinity that be one thing.

Suddenly Laxus steps in, and want to make this clear. I don’t exactly hate the idea behind this. That Laxus wants to defend someonew ho is a part of his family, given his new found view on FT, and its using the family aspect of FT on its head. Someone bad could be using FT’s family mentality for personal benefit. Which is interesting.

Okay, well Jellal has a reason, she is suspect and as a guild master he has authority to take her in. However, Laxus you of all people know that people in your guild will still harm it.

On the one hand im torn, the shounen loving half of my brain wants to see this fight. But the logical half says that these two are mature adults with enough common sense to take this to the run knights. And confrontation is over after this page.

Yeah for a chapter named after the two, its got very little to do with theem. Instead.... The worst thing in the chapter happens. We cut to Diablos’ ship and we see this.

Yes you are seeing this right. For people who were saying I was to harsh, calling this a submissive Erza fetish that Mashima is putting out, I ask you read this chapter.

You know I can’t tell if Skullion means this is temporary as in terms of magic, or temporary as Kyria will grow bored, but I do know that this is nothing but sick and tastess. Also props to Madmorel for having some class to be disgusted by the perv in the group. Like that is becoming a rarity these days.

We are guided down to the lower deck where natsu and wendy are being held, the motion sickness keeping them in check.

I’ve been putting this off long enough, its time to rant. This is bull shit. People told me, i was too harsh on mashima, but at the least I thought this was some sort of temporary thing that was meant so Kyria could get a win in a fight, but this might be some permanent magic effect feels disgusting.

Now, people say that this happened cause people would rag on Erza, called Erza fights awful, and that now Mashima is going in the complete opposite dirction. You didn’t like strong erza, fine! Here’s weak Erza, you happy cynics?

But that’s not the case. People didn’t like Erza because she was “too strong” she was someoone who went from this amazing badass female character, to this static friendship speech spewing tool that never truly got any development. Its painful for people to see a character like Erza not grow after she had developed so much in ToH, but it just was never followed through. All the times she won just felt like a poor spectacle without any character behind it.

Now you could say an erza who needs to get her strength back could be character development. No. Cutting away a person’s strength with “magic” is not character development, its forced regression. Its the author literally creating an unrealistic situation bcause he has no idea what to do with her after ToH, hell he can’t even fully commit to a love story between her and jellal.

When Erza came onto the scene, she was cool, in control, yet could over react at times. To see her be pushed to her lowest by ToH and then recover and face midnight in OS, is peak Erza character shining through. That this is how erza’s development deserved to be treated. But Watching Erza crawl on the ground, be spanked, and cry for mercy like a hentai doll, all because of plot convince magic is so gross to me. Its ejecting the Erza that we all love and stripping her of all that personality just for this.

So if you blame this development on people who were too hard on Mashima about how he was writing Erza, I, a critic and very judgemental person, find this worse than any of the nakama power or skimpy armors.

Erza being trapped in Kyoka’s sex dungeon was bad, but you know what, EErza actievly resisted it. She didn’t want to be there aand tried to fight back. It wasn’t handled well, but that t least felt like whatt her character would do in this situation. But this was forced upon her and this is nothing more than an Erza made for this arc.

Also, lets step out of this and look at this from the meta perspective that this is also extremely lazy. In Eden’s zero there’s a villain who is all about subjugating women right now, and Mashima couldn’t be bothered to not let that bleeed into his other work. If that doesn’t scream creately lazy, than I don’t know what will. Also that frog thing in Eden’s zero is actuaally better giveen the fact he’s not mind bending away personality, he’s forcibly turning them in statues to do with what he pleases against their will.

Im not saying this cause im anti ecchi or that im anti mashima, im anti such a hack story writting device that weather you stuck it out as a fan of erza’s till the end of FT or liked her at first but than soured on her, I ask, would you tolerate this? I’m not claiming ownership of the character of Erza, but I am asking do you think that this is worth a character arc because our author couldn’t think of anything better to do with her. You know if you knew Erza was so strong,Ad that in actuality she would sweep away most threats, why did you bring her? I honestly would’ve preferred Jellal and Erza being out of the action cause they had a kid or something. Erza having to pick between biological family and her guild family seems like a better direction to take her character in than this.

To see Erza cry because someone’s magic made her into a slave is so lacking in power than say the sheer emotional weight of watching simon die. Like this is shit is just awful.

We cut to Luccy and here is where I get to credit thee art. Sure Lucy is in a bikini, but what matters in frame is the wounds on her legs. Which is a nice us of having aa skimpy dress and not sexualizing it.

We get a flashback of Lucy realizing Kyriaa took her friends and this is where I give Caramille a big fuck you. Oh sure, this did happen after they showed up, but Diabolos clearly was going to find the place eventually and more importantly, you did fuck all. Like, go screw cause you have contributed literally nothing.

We find out that there is another ship in the area and that Gray is okay because he was saved by you can guess who...

Okay on the one hand, this definitely seems like Brandish’s kind of entrance, but on the other. Fuck you, Hiro. Like she just passed by and saved Gray? Hw? The entire ocean was either freezing or evaporating, what is your range? Also, who is in charge of Alverez? Yajeel? Oi...

Post Chapter Follow up: Its easy to say why I don’t like this chapter. I feel so sick by the sheer amount of laziness and disgust in the slave Erza plot. Like, my god this is so wrong. Not because of the subject, human slavery makes sense in a series aimed at teenagers, but the sheer disrespect that Hiro treated this character, made my blood boil. At the very least in Alvarez, Erza still seemed like she was the same character from beginning of the series.

People who follow me weekly on this review series are probably going to ask when I will stop harping on this Erza thing. Well each week, it somehow get worse and more gross. First time it felt like a cheap win, second it was bad use of domination, now this is full blown fetish material.

As for the brandish thing, I know why she is here, Lucy is literally not strong enough to handle 3 DE’s by herself with a few exceeds, and I’d accept that Brandish reentering the series. But maybe leave out Gray? I guess you could say that this is a subversion of the Musica captured by Doryu, but this feels lazier. You could’ve just made this a big “step up Lucy plot,” but no, had to save Gray, even though Skullion should’ve notice when his magic didn’t actually ash up Gray. Plus think about, if they save save Natsu and Wendy this arc and beat these three dragon eaters, wouldn’t some added bit of tension to the quest be finding diablos’s hideout and saving Gray from the “dinner table?”And I was cool with the kidnapped gray thing, but no, we had to have kidnapped everyone else.Also if he was made small how did he survive the water? Like he’s the size of a pin, he’d drown.

Now the stuff with Laxus and Jellal is actually fairly good Its an interesting take on FTs standards vs the consequences of their past when we are suppose to be rooting for Touka to be extracted. And involving two characters that really have been in the moral gray spectrum make them the most qualified for this subject matter. While i definitely didn’t like the Touka plot at first from how disconnected it was from everything (and it really is kinda shoed in on this point) it still is the more interesting plot. It has more intresting ideas than, “more dragons” and is involving the characters that come off as the most interesting.

Final Verdict: 3/10

There is clearly some interesting idea at work here

However, the way the plotline for the dragon portion of this arc has become a mess

I don’t use this phrase lightly, “Erza literally deserves better than this”

Plot convince playhouse at its finest

251 notes · View notes

schroedingersk8 · 6 years ago

Text

8.What dating me is like when you THINK you are a DOM.

Posting as Mistress K8 Morgan, k8morgan.com

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon. You have just woken up, having spent the night on your sofa. You have fallen asleep while watching Bake Off re-runs and eating take-away, but it is a comfy sofa and you do have a cosy throw, so you didn’t actually bother with going to the bedroom when you woke up for the first time early this morning. You sit up, and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey falls off your pillow. Oh yes!!! You forgot! You have finished THE BOOK! Your girlfriend must have forgotten it when she moved out, having dumped your sorry ass for being too much of a lazy house slob and never wanting to do anything beside telly on the weekends. Did I say girlfriend? EX girlfriend.

You look back at the book, on the floor, and smile! But yes, of course! It makes perfect sense now! The reason your relationship failed, the reason all of them fail, the reason even Tinder dates don’t call you back is because you are, and having read THE BOOK you are now 100% sure -- you are a Dominant man, and they were not submissive enough for you. Yes, yes, that’s it! You, a surprisingly overweight guy in your late 20es who hasn’t left the house since he got back from work on Friday, in a very junior role and currently on probation for accidentally sending a dick pic to your male boss, right now struggling to find your second slipper somewhere under the sofa, amidst a pile of car magazines, some dirty clothes, and an old greasy pizza box, wearing a stretched out formerly white, now itself some 50 shades of grey T-shirt, adorned with both ketchup and mustard stains, and in underpants that look like they are a heirloom from a family with a history of digestive issues -- yes, YOU are the living embodiment of an elusive and mysterious kinky billionaire Christian Grey! And now all the women will fall to your feet! You decide to give up your search for the 2nd slipper, and stand up. A few crisps come tumbling onto the floor. “Strange, I do not even remember eating these last night.” -- you think to yourself. -- You pick up the biggest one and eat it.

You go to your dining table, and make room for your iPad, by pushing everything aside. You open browser, and type in D O M I N A N T, thinking to look at what dominant men are like, at least in the eyes of the society, but the first search suggestion is for dominant women. “Oh yeah!” -- you say out loud, and click “images”. After a few glances, on this ill-fated Sunday afternoon, you come across my picture, and after an even shorter research, you find me on Instagram.

The rest is as follows:

Instagram DM, to my account that asks for NO DMs, please:

-- HI

Pleased with yourself, and with a feeling of an accomplished mission, you go to the loo. You come back, good half an hour later, having jerked off in the shower because the idea of meeting me has gotten you all hot and bothered. You are now wearing an old dusty pink bathrobe -- yet another remnant of your ex -- to find that your message has neither been read, nor replied to. You think a little, and your brilliant mind produces another pearl:

-- HOT! [aubergine emoji] [water drops emoji]

ALL from the mind that brought us the “HI”...

In about an hour, you realise that I probably won’t read your messages on there, nor respond to them. You actually bother to click onto my profile, and find the email in my contact details. Score 1 for thorough investigation and due diligence.

You write:

Subject: Your Christian Grey.

Hi, I have come across your insta and you look hot, it says you are a domme but I think all this is only to show, and that what you really need is this hot young buck to bend you over the table and fuck you. Agreed?

C G

And you attach a dick pic. Yup, same one you’ve sent to your boss. It actually isn’t even your own dick pic, your dick is shorter than that and has too much foreskin, so you use the one you once got sent by some drunk guy on Snapchat, who thought you were a girl. Clever!

A day passes without any response from me. On Monday you go to work, you expect to come back to an email from me. It does not happen. Nor does it happen on Tuesday. Nor on Wednesday. On Thursday night you go out for a few pints with the mates, and come back home tipsy. You go back on Instagram, to look me up again. I still haven’t followed you, replied or even read your messages.

-- BITCH

-- WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT ID EVER EVEN FUCH YOU

-- HAHAHA I HAVE A MUCH HOTTER GF THAN YOU

-- SUCK THIS -- say you, yet again sending me a picture of another man’s penis.

In about two weeks from the described event I check my Instagram DMs from people I do not follow, and come across your messages. I recognise you, from the dick pic. Which wasn’t even yours!

How can I possibly know that? Well, I have seen a few nice black dicks before, but never in my life have they been attached to a pasty white dude. And yes, I learn all that from glancing over your own Instagram profile and pictures, before I press “delete” and “block”.

And this is how our love affair ends, with me, laughing to myself, and wondering whether it would be ethical, in this day and age of mermaids and unicorns, to use my superpowers to make someone self-identify as a Cockwomble, instead of a Dom.

P.S. And if you managed to crack one off to any part of this post, then there is really nothing on the internet that you wouldn’t masturbate to, is there?!

No one, under the penalty of the EU copyright laws, is allowed to use or reproduce my blog or individual posts, or even passages, in any way, shape or form, be it for Netflix series, Amazon books, or anything of the kind, regardless of the credit given. K8Morgan.com.

7 notes · View notes

firjii · 6 years ago

Text

@bleedtealblood-fuckeduplol replied to your post

“lads I have an unpopular take on Mistle from the Witcher books and one...”

Well im curious, dish :3

First of all, I’m not super involved in Witcher fandom so I don’t know the general consensus or historical/current fandom takes on this. I really don’t have the time or energy to do so. I’ve read every Witcher novel with an English translation through “The Lady of the Lake” but don’t really talk to other people about the Witcher universe (except maybe the W3 game). I therefore also doubt I’m the first to say this, so consider it a reminder rather than a revelation.

Putting this under a cut because it’s triggery, but TL;DR.....

Mistle x Ciri is one of my very few NOTP’s.

Why, you ask? Not because of how they treat each other once they’ve been in a relationship for awhile – because to Mistle’s credit, she consistently and genuinely sticks up for Ciri.

But.

Here’s literally their first intimate encounter together. It happens fairly soon after Ciri joins the Rats (from The Time of Contempt, chapter 7, page 322-324 in the U.S. Orbit paperback edition):

[Ciri] heard some quiet steps.

“Don’t be afraid.”

It was Kayleigh.

“I won’t tell them Nilfgaard’s looking for you,” whispered the fair-haired Rat, kneeling down and leaning over her. “I won’t tell them about the bounty the prefect of Amarillo has promised for you. You saved my life in the inn. I’ll repay you for it. With something nice. Right now.”

He lay down beside her, slowly and cautiously. Ciri tried to get up, but Kayleigh pressed her down onto her bed with a strong and firm, though not rough, movement. He placed his fingers gently on her mouth. Although he needn’t have. Ciri was paralyzed with fear, and she couldn’t have uttered a cry from her tight, painfully dry throat even if she had wanted to. But she didn’t want to. The silence and darkness were better. Safer. More familiar. She was covered in terror and shame. She groaned.

“Be quiet, little one,” whispered Kayleigh, slowly unlacing her shirt. Slowly, with gentle movements, he slid the material from her shoulders, and pulled the edge of the shirt above her hips. “And don’t be afraid. You’ll see how nice it is.”

Ciri shuddered beneath the touch of the dry, hard, rough hand. She lay motionless, stiff and tense, full of an overpowering fear which took her will away, and an overwhelming sense of revulsion, which assailed her temples and cheeks with waves of heat. Kayleigh slipped his left arm beneath her head, pulled her closer to him, trying to dislodge the hand which was tightly gripping the lap of her shirt and vainly trying to pull it downwards. Ciri began to shake.

She sensed a sudden commotion in the surrounding darkness, felt a shaking, and heard the sound of a kick.

“Mistle, are you insane?” snarled Kayleigh, lifting himself up a little.

“Leave her alone, you swine.”

“Get lost. Go to bed.”

“Leave her alone, I said.”

“Am I bothering her, or something? Is she screaming or struggling? I just want to cuddle her to sleep. Don’t interfere.”

“Get out of here or I’ll cut you.”

Ciri heard the grinding of a knife in a metal sheath.

“I’m serious,” repeated Mistle, looming indistinctly in the dark above them. “Get lost and join the boys. Right now.”

Kayleigh sat up and swore under his breath. He stood up without a word and walked quickly away.

Ciri felt the tears running down her cheeks, quickly, quicker and quicker, creeping like wriggling worms among the hair by her ears. Mistle lay down beside her, and covered her tenderly with the fur.

But she didn’t pull the disheveled shirt down. She left it as it had been. Ciri began to shake again.

“Be still, Falka. It’s all right now.”

Mistle was warm, and smelled of resin and smoke. Her hand was smaller than Kayleigh’s; more delicate, softer. More pleasant. But its touch stiffened Ciri once more, once more gripped her entire body with fear and revulsion, clenched her jaw and constricted her throat. Mistle lay close to her, cradling her protectively and whispering soothingly, but at the same time, her small hand relentlessly crept like a warm, little snail, calmly, confidently, decisively. Certain of its way and its destination. Ciri felt the iron pincers of revulsion and fear relaxing, releasing their hold; she felt herself slipping from their grip and sinking downwards, downwards, deep, deeper and deeper, into a warm and wet well of resignation and helpless submissiveness. A disgusting and humiliatingly pleasant submissiveness.

Guess what? Even though standing up to Kayleigh was absolutely the right thing to do, what happens next is called duress, and I can’t totally get past it. Even Ciri’s reaction the next morning (a hint that she’s reconsidering her orientation) is questionable.

Ciri didn’t ask to be in that situation. I don’t care what your orientation is. Anyone with a shred of decency doesn’t do that kind of shit when someone’s in survival mode and borderline shock (ffs how horny on main is Mistle that she won’t or can’t consider that?).

If Mistle had left Ciri alone after that or stood guard that night to make sure no one messed with her again, it would be very different and I’d wish them all the best. But that’s not how it went down.

Ciri is a little younger than Mistle and is under pressure to keep herself alive and incognito. That makes Mistle an opportunist at best and a predator at worst, even if Ciri didn’t actively shout “no” or scramble away that night.

Fight and flight aren’t the only two possible reactions in that situation. Not saying “no” isn’t the same as saying “yes” and literally any abuse or rape survivor will confirm that.

Yeah, fine, Mistle makes a point of turning Ciri on, but y’all…it’s not that simple. There’s an oh-so-vague but unmistakable tinge of “what happens if I say no?” and that’s not cool.

I was shocked when the tone between them in later chapters pointed so clearly to a relationship (I kept waiting for a passage where Ciri snapped and took action because she was tired of being someone’s pet, but conversely it makes sense that she doesn’t because she’s desperate not only for safety but also belonging and she finds an approximation of both with the Rats).

I’ve seen plenty of people in fandom totally ignore the above and just gush about the youngest wlw couple in the series.

Um. No. Initial consent – if not outright desire – matters, even if Mistle is still a teenager. Without that element, I have trouble seeing this ship as anything other than grooming, regardless of how they’re portrayed later in the series. I don’t classify that encounter as experimentation. Experimentation tends to imply that a) all parties involved planned it, and b) are willing and able throughout the proceedings.

Mistle x Ciri didn’t start out on equal footing and that should matter to anyone who cares about healthy ships.

#discourse #mistle critical #anti mistle #bleedtealblood-fuckeduplol #i've been sitting on this for soooo long #tw sex #tw implied rape #tw implied abuse #the witcher #ciri #mistle #ciri x mistle #meta #fandom critical #not da

10 notes · View notes

jennycalendar · 6 years ago

Text

(by @jackalopingintothevoid !! who sent me these as two submissions, so i’m smashing them into one post for readability.)

Ripper was staring after the older pair. It was really weird– he was barely moving. That worried Jenny something fierce; he didn’t often get like this.

“Hey, Ripper? You awake in there?” Jenny really hoped that would snap him out of it. She didn’t know what to do otherwise.

Fortunately, he responded immediately to her voice, and then he was staring at her all wide-eyed and overwhelmed, and it really started to sink in, what had just happened.

“Ripper? You okay?” Nothing. Heart beating faster, and not for the usual reasons when it came to Ripper, she cleared her throat and tried again. “Y'know, I just meant tha–”

The rest of Jenny’s sentence disappeared when Ripper closed the space between them with a dizzying kiss.

It wasn’t all that passionate. No wrestling tongues or groping hands. But it was firm and fierce and full of something she wasn’t comfortable identifying right about then, a kiss with so much force that she couldn’t kiss back.

And then it was over, and Jenny sat breathless with her pulse in her ears, the world outside of Ripper’s uncharacteristically soft and starry-eyed smile not even registering.

“Oh wow,” Someone said distantly, “That’s gross.”

“Don’t be mean!” Said another, sounding like their voice was filtering through cotton wool, “They’re so cute!”

“Yeah, cute enough to give a girl diabetes, ugh.”

Then Ripper’s whole face blushed brilliantly, and Jenny could help but laugh and lean in to kiss him again.

They weren’t going on patrol. They’d debated for a little while, but it wasn’t happening. They were taking advantage of their night off, said Buffy, and that meant all of them, she added when Ripper tried to sneak off for some solo Slaying.

And now they were at the Bronze. Jenny was still kind of zoned out from the gross lovefest in the library, so she was less peppy than usual. Ripper was complaining about the music, so it was like Giles had come with. Except Ripper was way cooler than Giles in like every way just because he didn’t wear tweed, so it really wasn’t. Besides, Ripper didn’t complain in a stuffy British old person way.

He swore a lot more, for starters. Then Willow told him he sure did swear a lot considering he was spending all his time with kids, and then he’d been offended at the implication that he didn’t have any friends his age but also trying really hard to not swear so much. He was kind of adorable.

It was getting really hard for Buffy to remember that this guy summoned demons for fun not all that long ago.

“I mean, I don’t like the guy but really, does he need to be that hot?” Why was Xander talking about Angel like that. Why. She did not need to hear this! “Like, he’s so tall, and those shoulders! It’s unfair.”

Ripper made a face. “Yeah, not for me.”

“Well, obviously–”

“I mean he’s a vampire for one, but I just… he looks a bit gormless, don’t he?”

Xander looked twice as confused as usual, and for once Buffy was feeling it. “Okay, try that again in English?”

“I am English.” Ripper rolled his eyes and swigged his (non-alcoholic, his ID wasn’t valid 20 years before it was made) drink. “To call someone gaumless, derived from the Old Norse gaumr meaning care or heed, is to literally say they don’t understand anything. Seriously, he looks like a confused dog a hundred percent of the time.”

“Okay,” Xander raised a hand, “okay, I’m not saying you’re wrong there. But you can’t just throw in Old Norse whenever you feel like it and expect us quaint American folks to keep up.”

Ripper glared, affronted. “Gormless is an English word used as far back as the mid-1800s. That’s what the English language is, it’s pilfered words from other languages.”

“Man, you guys can’t let anyone have anything, huh?” Buffy chimed in, deeply amused by just how offended Ripper was.

He sniffed haughtily, purposefully putting on a dignified air. “At least we didn’t invent Heelys.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, and she couldn’t tell if Jenny was giggling because of that or if she was still drifting in grossland.

“Well, I’m going for it.” Xander gamely stepped up. “What are Heelys?”

Ripper stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You love Heelys. You never wear normal shoes!”

“It’s 1998, Ripper.” Good, no more kissed-and-blissed vegetable Jenny. “Heelys won’t be patented until next year.”

Frowning, Ripper pulled out the flat thing he insisted was his phone. “Here, I’ll Google it–”

“2002.” Jenny grinned, looping her arm through Ripper’s and oh no, they’re gonna be gross again. “And your smartphone is way, way later, so there’s none of the satellites to support it. No cloud, either.”

Buffy looked over at Willow and Xander, who both looked back with equal confusion. Leaning in close, she whispered, “What are they talking about?”

“I dunno.” Willow murmured back. “Future stuff, I guess?”

“Oh my God.” Jenny suddenly cried. “Oh my God, Ripper, there’s no cloud.”

“There there,” He wrapped an arm around her, patting her twice on the shoulder. “We’ll survive without it ‘til we get back. The early hominin species managed.”

“You don’t understand! What will we do? How will we research?”

“Oh, I dunno…” Ripper drawled, rolling his eyes again. “Maybe try the books? Ow!”

He reared back as Jenny slapped his shoulder, and Buffy couldn’t keep from laughing.

“Okay,” she told Willow, “they are kinda cute.”

#submission #other people's fic #ripper au #mirror mirror #this has been in my submissions for. months. shameful #i love jack's writing so much tho so like...can y'all blame me

6 notes · View notes

arianaistired · 6 years ago

Text

My Experience Meeting Taylor (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK)

@taylorswift THATS US WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

(also I just finished typing this and it’s so so fucking long I’m so sorry this is a warning. I don’t even get to rep room for so long I can’t breathe I’m so sorry)

Okay, so I’m at work right now, but I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about Saturday--which can really be the tagline for the past 3 days of my life--and then I realized that I haven’t posted a single thing about it on tumblr dot com!!! I’ve really not shut the fuck up about it on twitter but this is a whole new platform, a whole new WORLD that I have not tapped into and annoyed everyone by talking CEASELESSLY about this experience. Like I’m pretty sure that everyone is going to murder me on twitter if i don’t shut up soon, but we’re not there yet on papersairplane dot tumblr dot com so here we fucking go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay the story of my day on Saturday really begins on Friday night after Metlife night 1, a joyous occasion wherein Taylor Swift Touched My Hand at the barricade. So I was just like floating on a fucking cloud after that concert, trekking back to the lowly island of Long Island, New York and texting my friend jess @monica-geller. I was thinking about how I’ve done literally nothing to try to meet miss swift in my entire meaningless existence on this earth and I was thinking about how it doesn’t hurt to TRY so I was like hm. I’ll make a post!!! I didn’t but more on that later.

So i tell jess I’m gonna make a post and then in classic ariana fashion I just sit there on the train not making my post bc i was like deadass...I have nothing to say like nothing about me is particularly interesting it’s not like my house caught on fire and, in the absence of a fire hose, i used the soothing lyrics of stay beautiful from taylor swift’s debut album (2006) to will the flames into submission. like i just really love that woman i don’t have anything else TO SAY. omg side note i love how this started off with proper grammar and spelling and capitalization and now i’m talking like i don’t even know how to read. whatever. so then liz @lastskiss decides to get a fucking idk like a call from God Herself (stream god is a woman by ariana grande) and she’s like wow i should make ariana a post and i see her tweet and i’m life fuck it i’ve told her not to in the past but i’m tired and lazy and nothing’s gonna come of this anyway so i’ll let her make the post. so i text her my seat info and then i’m like “wow my work is done here i’m so talented for pressing send on the imessage app.”

so liz makes this post and is like “should i post it :O” and jess is like “yeah post it that dumb bitch is never gonna do anything herself” which...tea….and liz, being an intellectual in addition to being a magical wizard, is like “tea” and does it. Idk why this is a short novel already but i’m extremely bored at work and trying to get all the deets in. so this is at like i wanna say 1:45am EST aka everyone’s asleep except for liz in LA and jess in australia. so i reblog it once bc if you haven’t already grasped it i’m a lazy dumbass with low expectations and i go to sleep like “my work here is done.” so liz and jess and a few other beautiful souls by jesse mccartney reblog the post while i’m asleep, unbeknownst to me, and a few hours later at 8am i wake up and get ready for brunch. So i’m well aware that it’s gonna rain tonight so i’m like i should not put that much effort into my appearance bc i’m going to look like a drowned rat by the end of this day (stupid, but not untrue i really did) so i like actually do the bare minimum like i just basically put on whatever was most comfortable to dance around in the pouring rain in and then zoomed out the door for brunch bc it was in harlem at 12 and i was on long island at 9 so i was like g2g.

change of scenery now: i’m at brunch in harlem with a bunch of friends and soon to be friends and its 12:15 and i’m like “cool i’m with people from the internet so it’s not rood if i check twitter” and I do and i see a dm notification and i’m like oh the let me check. And check i did. And what the fuck was there??? 10 hours after liz hit send on that blessed post what was in my direct messages on the twitter for iphone app? That’s right friends and foes. It was a dm from one miss taylor nation. And what do i do???????????? I turn my phone face down on the table and my hands just start shaking and i’m pretty sure i blacked out as if i was having a petit mal seizure. So i come to, and pick my phone back up and send them my name, my number, and the best time for them to call (“you can call me at literally any time and i will pick up”) and i turn my phone face up on the table and stare at it. And stare. And stare…………...and an hour and a half (!!!) later FINALLY i get a call from miss nation. And i sprinted out of that restaurant. The poor waitress probably thought that denise @pettyswift had threatened to murder me with how fast i ran out of the premises. 10 mins later i return to the table and everyone’s staring at me with expectant gazes and i’m just like completely utterly non reactive like i think i was just in shock because i didn’t understand what was happening. Like i literally expected it to be merch lmaosafujkafn like so to get to speak to whoever that was on the phone and to hear her say the words “if all is fine and you get confirmed, you will be meeting taylor tonight” was jsut….a shock to the system to say the least. So i was still anticipating it to go wrong because like what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK????? Anwyay. So i get the confirmation and i’m still completely nonreactive but i call my friend anthony @shakeitoffs to tell him (sidenote: i know we’re not supposed to tell anyone but like. I was going with him to the concert i had to. Like i was already under a lot of stress i’m sure everyone understands if i didn’t follow all the rules to a t) and i say goodbye to the table and i start making my journey from harlem to new jersey.

fast forward a few hours to ~4pm and literally the only thoughts in my brain are “what the fuck” “i’m so scared” and “can jess wake the fuck up” like idk why i was so concerned with jess waking up asjkfas like i just NEEDED HER TO WAKE UP. so anthony and i make our journey to metlife because i needed to be at will call between 4-5 to pick up my rep room pass. Anthony’s buzzing, i’m on the verge of throwing up, liz is freaking the fuck out, and jess still isn’t awake. And i get to will call and give them my ID fully expecting something to go wrong….and it does!!! The will call people are like “maam we havent gotten anything from taylor nation yet please check back in 20 mins.” cool. So finally at this point jess wakes up and is freaking out so now liz anthony and jess are all freaking out and i’m just terrified that something’s going to go wrong. FINALLY 15 mins later the will call people waved me back, i gave them my ID, and i received in my undeserving hands that yellow ass rep room paper. I nearly threw up. Bc at this point i had been like working under the assumption t hat something, ANYTHING, was going to go wrong like i half expected the uber to the stadium to spontaneously combust while i was in the car. So to have confirmation that i was supposed to be at a certain gate in less than 40 mins to then be brought backstage to meet taylor alison swift….was a lot. It’s still a lot.

So i take the picture and tweet it and everyone is being so nice and happy for me which only exacerbates the feeling of A Lotness bc i just felt so completely and utterly undeserving, but this isn’t me trying to get people to tell me i deserved it it’s just me being honest about how i felt. And on top of all of this, the fact that i had never in my life tried to meet taylor also meant that i had never in my life prepared to meet taylor. Of course i’ve thought about what i’d say, who hasn’t, but never under the actual assumption that i was meeting taylor. And NEVER with the confirmed knowledge that i was MEETING TAYLOR IN HALF AN HOUR. so, as aforementioned, IT WAS A LOT.

So skip to 5:30, the meeting time, and i’m standing on the floor where i’m supposed to be and waiting in line with like 6 other people waiting for taylor nation to take us backstage. And they start to!!! But then they get to me and ask for my name and i tell them and i’m NOT ON THE LIST JKANFKASJNFJ so im panicking once again like oh this is it. But i tell the tn guy that i got my dm at like 12 that day and i can show it to him and he was like “ohhhh i think i got a text about a late add” and looks through his texts and he’s like “yeah here you are.” which was terrifying like i was really a late ass add huh like someone was like add this girl huh. the.

So finally they bring us backstage.i think i must’ve been visibly distressed at this point bc one of the other fans in line came up to me and was like “you’re nervous too huh” like i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being taken to my execution. They stop us outside of the door and i can see scottifer swift and tree paine and andrea and i’m like “holy fuck this is actually happening.” And giuseppe the dancer walks past me and i’m like “holy fucking shit this is actually happening and also that man is so fucking hot.” they tell us to put all of our shit on the table, and i do (minus my yellow pass which i was still grasping as if it was going to be ripped out of my hands as cameramen crashed the scene like i was on punk’d and everyone including taylor was going to point and laugh at the fact that i actually for one second thought this was going to happen to me. Yes i’m dramatic what about it) and i enter the rep room. The snake habitat if you will. I enter a room and the first group goes in almost immediately and i hear taylor swfit’s speaking voice saying “hiiiiiiii” reverberate around the room and i’m like OH MY FUCKING GOD…….so like i said i was nervous and definitely visibly so. Like i’m pretty sure i was pacing. I was also singing along to lets get married by bleachers because i have morals, but i definitely looked scared. So the tn person in the room keeps offering to take polaroids of me next to all of the decorations ajkfjasnfkjnfa like she must’ve been trying to reassure me which i really appreciated.

The room is like a big dark well decorated room that has a well lit corner curtained off, which is where taylor and the photographer are and where the m&g takes place. So for my sanity i needed to like look into it so that my blood pressure could return and so that i didnt throw up on taylor the millisecond i walked into the glow of the ring light, so i casually walked to where the curtain area was and looked in between the two curtains where a sliver of bright ass light was escaping and i saw taylor in all her taylor swifitan glory with my own two unholy eyes and i was liek “well…..that did nothing to cure my stress” because she was just SO TALL AND BEAUTIFUL that i was just so fucking...idk. Idk i felt so nuts it was indescribable.

Lets get married stops playing and strawberries and cigarettes (i think?) starts and it’s my turn to go in. so i just like bite the bullet and do it and the first words that escape my stupid mouth are “holy fucking shit” and taylor laughed (i cant) and hugged me and she was just so. calm . well obviously shes calm shes meeting a known moron there’s nothing to be nervous abou there this was practically charity work for her like she’ll be able to use meeting me as a tax write off next year. Really i was doing her a service.

But anyway we pull back from the hug and she’s smiling at me and i’m pretty sure i was shaking a bit like my voice definitely was shaking. And i was just like “oh my god. I love you.” klasfjasnjkf like i was incapable of speaking at that point so i think she thought that i was just going to freeze up and not say a single word but before she could fill the awkward silence i just...started talking and did not shut upas fjkasnfjkajkf. Like i was like “oh my god hi i want you to know that i could not have anticipated this happening any less like i received the dm from taylor nation confirming this about 4 hours ago there was nothign to prepare me for this i didn’t even do anything my friend liz made a post and she and jess reblogged it at like 2 am last night none of this makes any sense” and she was like “oh my god that’s so nice of them” which TEA IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she said “i’m so happy i finally get the chance to meet you then” which i’m sure she says to everyone but she’s so good at making you feel like she means it like she said that and it was like i had taken a xanax like i was so calm after that. Everyone says you calm down in her presence and i’ve never taken that seriously, but YOU REALLY DO….like shes just so calming she makes you feel like she’s your friend and that she genuinely wants to talk to you as if this is a casual occurrence.

So i say “i really love you like i have an older sister and she’s cool and all but you have always felt like you were my older sister like you’ve been a constant in my life for like a decade. I don’t even remember my life before i was obsessed with you which is probably indicative of a brain issue if i can’t remember my life before i was 11 but its true” and she LAUGHED and like genuinely laughed which made me feel so good. Like maybe she’s just the most talented actress alive but i really felt like she thought i was funny……..the………..and then as if i didnt get it from her laughing she called me funny which is disgusting. I’m doing my best to remember this conversation i like blacked out ajskfnsanf. I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF whcih is so funny to think about now and honestly im fine with bc my life is boring anyway. But anyway i had been debating requesting a song all day, but i was like fuck it the worst thing she can do is turn me down and call me stupid for asking. So i prefaced my request with: “taylor i know youre probably getting different requests from everyone you meet and i know you also probably alreayd have a song in mind for tonight which is totally fine it’s your concert you can do whatever you want my opinion doesn’t matter i’l love anything you do” and shes laughs and is like “whats the song” and i tell her forever and always. And shes like “OHHHHH oh my god i didnt even think of that song. i have a list of songs in my mind that i can play at each show and forever & always didn’t even cross my mind i dont know why. I’ll be honest i already have a song in mind for tonight i’m going to play fearless because it’s raining” and i was like “THATS SO GREAT i love that song it’s your concert it’s your show do whatever you want i love fearless fearless is my favorite album” and she was like “that’s such a good request i didn’t evne think about that song” and i started telling her how i love that song because it was like the song that really got me into her music bc i saw her talking about it on ellen and she literally interrupted me which was an honor and goes “OH MY GOD and it has the ‘it rains in your bedroom eveyrthing is wrong it rains when youre here and it rains when you’re gone’ line and its going to rain!!! oh my god that’s such a good song i love that song” and i said me too!! Also i’m her complimenting her own song god she’s so talented. She’s absolutely right it is SUCH a good song. And i said “well its raining again tomorrow and i’ll be there!!!” and she was like “but i was thinking about playing [song she didn’t play but i dont want to say--not to be purposefully evasive bc i know its annoying--but bc i dont want her to hate me for saying it publicly asjkfjkas and also bc if she does it at gillette i want to let it be a surprise :( i feel so annoying im sorry] tomorrow because a lot of people requested it” and i was like “I LOVE THAT SONG” and then said something about the song.

And then she said (again) that forever & always was a good request and then looked SO SORRY when she was like “i’m so sorry i’m probably not going to play that today or tomorrow because i already have songs in mind but i promise i’ll try to play it later even though you probably won’t be there :(” and i was like “NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE i loved all the songs you mentioned. I’d love any song that you played it’s your concert do whatever you want you don’t ever have to play it if you dont want to it’s your show you call the shots” and she was like “i love how you keep telling me i can do whatever i want it’s so thoughtful and supportive you’re so nice” LIKE SHE KEPT TELLING ME I WAS NICE THIS WHOLE TIME and i was like “WELL PEOPLE CAN BE DEMANDING” and she was like “YEAH THEY REALLY CAN BE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’LL GET MAD AT ME OVER ANYTHING they’ll get mad at me if i play a song they don’t like or if i dont play a song they like-” and i was like “i know they’ll get mad at you for excluding so it goes and i’m just like guys its her concert let her live” and she laughed again and called me nice again like she kept saying i’m nice which seems so inconsequential tkjajfnjsa but it was so kind of her shes the best.

So at this point we had been there for a long ass time like it felt long and i was like “wait fuck i haven’t even introduced myself to you” and she was like “whats your name” and i said ariana and she goes “wait like air-iana or like are-iana” and i was like “i literally dont care you can call me whatever you want and i’ll respond” and she like laughed AGAIN and was like “youll just respond to anything huh. But seriously what is it” and i said my name again she was like “ariana. Cool.” bye and then she was like “well do you want to take a picture?” which is when i realized how long it had been and i was like “YEAH” and she just pulled me into a hug for a hugging picture which felt cute bc thats what i wanted to do anyway but she was probably just like god this girl has been in here for 8 years im not asking her what pose she wants to do can we please get going with this jskfnajafs but i didnt mind i was on cloud 9. So as shes hugging me i’m like “oh my god i’m going to blink in this picture and then i’ll have to die” and she was like “you wont blink i promise you wont blink she (the photog) will check to make sure” so we take the pic, the photographer tells me i’m good, and then taylor hugs me again and was like “it’s so nice to meet you” and i was like “it’s so nice to meet you too i didnt expect any of this. thank you so much for all of this i love you” and she huggged me again and called me nice again and then we said bye.

And then the taylor nation girl who was taking my picture (who i then gave all of my polaroids and my rep room pass to for her to hold before i went int asjkfnsafj) was like “here you go sweetie” and gave it to me and then told me to go back out and wait in the hall. And like idk why but once i left the photo area it was like every overwhelming emotion i had felt that entire day came rushing out like i just started crying silently like w tears streaming down my face. Asjkfnaskfjafkj. Like i dont cry so it was so bizarre. I didnt know what was happening. So then i was the only one out there bc i guess the first group had already been escorted out, so i was waiting for the rest of the people to be done and just crying. And then andrea was there so i said hi while crying and she came up to me and was like “hi honey how was it?!?!?” and i was like sarcastically like “oh it was okay ive had better days” and i dont think she knew i was joking at first like her face fell a bit before she realized i cant breahjtraefjs btu she was like “yeah its just a normal saturday for you no big deal” and then i asked her for a picture and she complied of course and i was like “im so sorry for crying idk why im crying” and she was like “its okay sweetie youve been through a lot today” which is honestly the most truthful thing ive ever heard in my life. And then i said “i raelly have” and she was like “this is a really amazing experience for you” and once again no lies detected but it was so funny that she said that about me MEETING HER DAUGHTER JKjkjskafjkfjska. And then i thanked her for raising taylor because i love her or something i cant breahfghasf and she was like “it was my pleasure she made it easy on me” and then finally i was escorted out and i was just crying.

Okay so now i just wanted to tahnk everyone who has been nice to me since saturday it means so so much like obviously i didnt think people would be MEAN TO ME but everyone has been soooooo nice i appreciate it a lot. And also like mayb this is controversial 2 say in this economy but i also want to say that all of the taylor nation people were so nice to me like i think everyones a bit hard on them at times like theyre just doing their jobs guys and it doesnt seem like an easy job sajkfnkjas considering they have to deal with how annoying some of us can be. And also i want to thank all of my friends, jess and liz in particular, bc like i didnt do anything obviously akjfanjksfj like this was all them and i love them so much like they were so happy for me it was equally as exciting to tell them as it was to actually meet taylro idk i just love them so much. IDK WHY IM TREATING THIS LIKE AN OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH but i obviously obviously i want to thank @taylorswift Idk if you saw my post and requested to meet me or if it was just a coincidence but it was honestly such an amazing experinece and you were so GOOD at talking i cant describe it but you were so calming and i really appreciated it. I feel like we dont appreciate all u do for us enough like youre just so kind and amazing i love you taylor swift i aint never gona stop loving you taylor swift. Idk this was so amazing and so unexpected and i still dont understand how any of this happened to me. THIS WAS CRAZY and it was just everything like everything u hear about meeting taylor is just so true…..shes just so good shes such a good person i want 2 cry………………

if u read all of this…..idk why youd do that but thank you and also im sorry for how long it was i just needed to write it all down for my own memory. Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#this is so annoying im so sorry #i met taylor #what the fucknekdixsosk #save

48 notes · View notes