#(now time to continue working on my drafts bc i been slacking)

[aceofhrts]

     “I just found this kalipsow. It is fokin mïngin, paradyse ponch lemonayde”

[verfound]

WIPWed: Festering Folder Edition: Legally Blonde AU

@mintaka14 asked about the Legally Blonde AU, which the Disco witnessed the birth of and was briefly mentioned in the notes for "Move Like Jagged". So. Yeah. This is the latest crack AU I've been working on. 😂

See, for my last project for those unit classes I had to take for work, I was talking about different reasons conflict can pop up in your kitchen and how to deal with them. And one of the ways to deal with conflict is by staying positive - you can't control what other people do/what happens, but you can control how you react to it. And that got "Positive" from the Legally Blonde musical in my head, which got me thinking who would be who in a LB AU, and...it all just ran away from me so hard. We have a Plunny Adoption channel in the Disco, and I dropped it there because I did not want another WIP, and the next thing I knew I was 1700 words into the Bend & Snap scene and no one else had adopted the plunny come on guys. 😂

So. Yeah. This is happening. I'm maybe a third of the way through the outline with about three scenes fully written out. 😂

The setup: Marinette is an aspiring fashion designer in her senior year at UCLA. Her life is all set up: she's going to graduate and marry her perfect boyfriend Adrien Agreste, who's on his way to becoming a lawyer and future president of the United States. Everything's perfect until he suddenly dumps her, claiming he needs someone more serious. He moves back out East to start at Harvard in the fall, where he's now dating childhood friend and fellow Snobby Harvard Girl Kagami Tsurugi. Marinette realizes that if she's gonna get her man back, she's got to be someone serious, too - someone lawerly! Someone who wears black when nobody's dead! So Marinette follows him out to Harvard, where she's...let's face it. The laughing stock of the school. But with a little determination (and the help of her super sweet TA Luka Couffaine, who's convinced she's not as Dumb as the others paint her) she's going to show everyone she belongs there - and win her Adrien back in the process!

So Marinette's Elle, Adrien is Warner, Kagami is Vivian, and Luka is Emmett. I'm putting Gabriel as Callahan, with the idea that part of the pressure on Adrien is that his father is this super successful lawyer & professor at Harvard who's expecting him to follow in his footsteps. (Also there's a line in the finale of the musical that says "Warner quit / Says he makes more modeling anyhow!", so while he's at UCLA I have Adrien modeling on the side and he totally goes back to it. 😂) Mylène is Paulette and Ivan is Kyle (the UPS guy). Rose and Alya are Marinette's Delta Nu sisters/best friends, and Juleka is still Luka's sister; Rose and Alya come out and the end to cheer Marinette on at the final trial, where Rose and Juleka meet.

Jagged is Brooke. He's being accused of murdering Bob Roth, his former label owner. He's innocent, but he refuses to give Gabriel his alibi (he was...getting...botox). He was Marinette's neighbor back in LA, and she designed his favorite leather jacket - so he freaks when Marinette walks in with his Estranged Son as part of his legal team. Luka and Jagged have a...tenuous relationship. Jagged is Luka's father, and Luka used to love music/want to be a rocker. He toured with Jagged for a year or two when he was younger as his opening act, but it really disillusioned Luka to the Music Scene. So he ended up pursuing law (thinking he could get into the legal side of things, and Anarka's always in and out of jail anyway so she'll need a good lawyer?), and finds out he's good at it & really enjoys it? It wasn't the career he thought he'd have, but he's happy.

I'm still kicking stuff around & writing the outline, but that's the bare-bones. 😂 And as much as I love the LB movie, the musical is one of my favorites. There's...guh ok I'm not gonna start gushing on how perfect the musical is bc we'll be here all day. 😂 But it is absolutely perfect, and this AU is going to be a blend of the movie and the musical.

Case in point: the song "Take It Like A Man", where Elle repays Emmett by giving him a makeover. It's the scene where Emmett realizes he's fallen in love with Elle and absolutely adorable ("God, I love shopping for guys - watching them change right before my eyes!" "...stop watching me change.").

As for a scene y'all haven't seen yet...I think you've seen a handful of sentences from this one? It's all new for Tumblr, but I think I shared a few sentences on the Disco. 😂

“Hey, Luka, what are you doing tonight?”

Luka looked up, his eyebrows lifting at the smile Marinette was giving him. Her chin was propped in her hand, her eyes looking over him like…well, a little like she was undressing him, if he was honest, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.

“Er…prepping for tomorrow?” he hazarded. “Big day in court? Opening statements? Have to make sure we’re ready so my dad doesn’t swing.”

She rolled her eyes, and then she rolled her chair over to his. He jumped when she laid her hands over his.

“You’re ready,” she said. She squeezed his hand, and he swallowed thickly as she continued to look at him like that. Why did his throat suddenly feel so dry? “Can we go somewhere? I…I want to do something. To thank you. For…everything, really. Please?”

“You don’t need to thank me, Marinette,” he said, wondering what exactly she had in mind. Maybe dinner? He was getting kind of hungry, and he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t mind spending more time with her away from the law books…

“I do, though, Luka,” she said earnestly, squeezing his hand again. “You…you’re the only one who’s believed in me this entire time. You’ve done so much to help me, and…I just wanted to do something for you, too.” She took his hand and held it to her chest, pouting her lips and batting her eyes at him, and when had the heat kicked in? It was almost May – it shouldn’t be so hot in the old, draft library! “Please?”

“I…um…ok?” he finally squawked out. He cleared his throat when she hit him full-force with her mega-watt smile, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt as she squeezed his hand tighter. She gave an excited little squeal-giggle-bounce that had him smiling fondly. “What…what did you have in mind?”

“Well,” she said, releasing his hand and turning towards the table. She began gathering the files they’d scattered over the surface, tidying up. “You know I used to want to be a designer – you’ve heard Jagged go off about that coat.”

“His little frock star,” Luka snickered, and she gave him an exasperated little smile.

“If I had the time, I’d love to design you something,” she said, tapping the folders against the table to straighten them, She turned to him, hands on her hips. “But given we need you ready by tomorrow, that’s not possible. So, Luka Couffaine, I am going to give you…a makeover.”

That…was definitely not what he’d been expecting.

“Er…thanks?” he asked, because by the little hitch in his voice he was definitely asking, because he was definitely confused. A…makeover? But…why? Her expression fell a little, and he coughed as he reached up to loosen his tie. “I mean…it’s just…I didn’t think I needed one?”

And I was kind of hoping you’d suggest dinner?

“Luka,” she sighed, still exasperated. She grabbed his hands and hauled him to his feet before dragging him over to the fireplace. She gestured to the mirror sitting above the mantle, where he could clearly see his…ok, yeah, he looked a little disheveled, but they’d been in the library all day! He was expected to look rumpled! “Look at yourself.”

“I am,” he said, trying not to sound offended. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders, trying (unsuccessfully) to even out the wrinkles in his shirt. He tried to ignore the shiver that wanted to race up his spine at her touch. Focus, Couffaine, he thought. She sighed, turning him towards her, eyeing his clothes rather critically.

“Luka, you know I adore you,” she said, and he tried to ignore the way that made his stomach flutter, “but look at you. This is a high-profile, celebrity case. It’s going to be televised, and you’re going to show up looking like your only suit came from a Goodwill?”

“Hey,” he protested, weakly. He could feel the heat rising on his cheeks again. He looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have two suits, thank you very much, and only one came from Goodwill.”

He glanced up at her to find she had lifted one of those perfectly sculpted brows at him, and he grinned sheepishly before adding: “…the other came from Salvation Army.”

“Luka!” she laughed, squeezing his arms, and his grin warmed into a smile. He liked making her laugh like that. He… “That’s my point, you dork!”

Her laughter petered off, and she started fiddling with his tie. He glanced down at his outfit and tried to see her point, but he honestly thought he looked fine? Rumpled, sure, but that wasn’t anything a good tumble in the dryer or some ironing couldn’t fix. The gray slacks weren’t bad, and the white dress shirt with the thin, dark blue check matched his dark blue tie. Sure, his shoes were a little scuffed, but no one was going to be looking at his shoes. Marinette sighed again, and he looked back up at her.

“Luka, do you remember what I told you I did? Back at UCLA?” she asked. He nodded.

“You had a 4.0 in fashion merchandising,” he said, making her smile. “You wanted to design clothes.”

“So let’s just say this is something I’m actually good at,” she teased, and he frowned as he reached up to lay a hand over one of hers. He squeezed, making her look up at him.

“Hey…you’re good at this, Marinette,” he said. Her smile said she didn’t believe him, so he squeezed her hand tighter. “I mean it, Marinette. I may have helped you study, but all of this was you. You got Agreste’s internship all on your own. You went from the bottom to top of your class on your own. You put the work in, Marinette. You’re so incredibly smart, and you’ve got this…this…gift. You see things others don’t. You aregood at this.”

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Marinette to throw herself at him in a bone-crushing hug. He stood there for a moment, dazed, but before he could move or think or respond she was already pulling away and wiping at misty eyes. She smiled up at him, and he wondered if it would be ok if he hugged her again. He kind of felt cheated out of the last one.

“Thank you, Luka,” she said, shaking her head to clear it. “Ugh, ok, but seriously! This is what I was originally good at – so let me shine, ok? Look. You’re good at this, too. You’re such a talented lawyer, and if Agreste gives you half the chance you’re going to blow them away in court – but no one’s going to be thinking about how brilliant you are if you show up looking like a bum. Luka, it’s…it’s me showing up to a costume party dressed like a bunny!”

He blinked at her, remembering all too well that night he’d bumped into her at the bookstore and she was dressed in nothing more than a one piece, bunny ears, and tail.

“The look is half the fight,” she said, taking his hands in her own. “Don’t give them a reason to judge you just because your shoes are old. Please? Let me buy you a suit. Let me do this for you, Luka.”

He still didn’t get it – not really, if he was perfectly honest – but when she looked at him like that…

“…ok,” he said, and the smile and second hug she gave him made it all worth it.

[fenristheorem]

Lance finding out that Gardienne killed herself? After a while of her being in the HQ again, he has fallen in love with her. She just couldn't bear those seven years, having lost that many people and being here just to save this world by suffering.

He wanted to tell her he loved her, he knocked her door, he worried bc no one answered, and he finds her hanged up.

I know this is really specific, it's just kind of my OC ending😅😅 anyway, I'd understand if you weren't comfortable with this.

So I’m going to talk about the boundaries of what I write for a moment, starting by saying that I will write this BUT I won’t write detailed suicide scenes due to the sensitive nature of it.

This ask isn’t asking for a detailed scene, it’s asking for the effects the decision has on Lance, and because it’s asking for the long-term effects and not a scenario I’m just fine with writing this. 

Thank you for asking this, Anon, genuinely. Being this specific was probably what gave me the push to write this in the end because I know you were looking for the reaction and not the actual scene. This is a good example of a post that walks along the lines of what I will and won’t write so anyone requesting future asks with a similar subject gets a better idea of what to ask.

Also, I apologize for how long this took to write. This ask was, unfortunately, the one that spent the most time eaten in my drafts folder so I couldn’t work on it until about a week ago. Fortunately that gave me a lot of time to think over how to best write this, so I think this’ll be appropriately written considering the subject.

*Warning / Note: This post contains heavy depressive themes and suicidal mentions, as evident by the ask and what I wrote above. I’m aware that this is a very sensitive subject and I intend to treat it with appropriate seriousness. This is not a happy post, please only read this if you know this won’t lead you down a dark path. To me, writing is another form of art, meant to express and draw out emotions from the audience, so I won’t subside the intensity of my writing even with this being a sensitive subject. I don’t intend to drive anyone to harm themselves, but I do intend to write with the intensity that I always do because this is my artform; so please prepare for heavy themes or don’t read if you’re not comfortable with this. On a side note: I care about everyone, I really do, so please take care of yourselves. If you’re feeling depressive or suicidal, talk to someone, please. There is always someone who cares about you.

Technically Guardienne's death may have a major adverse effect on Eldarya due to her link with the crystal, but for the sake of this ask I'll ignore any possible effects like that.

~Under the cut~

Lance’s reaction to Guardienne’s suicide:

Lance had seen a lot of terrible things in life and had done many terrible things in his life, but this reached a new type of fucked up for him. Not because it's truly disturbing - although it is deeply disturbing - but because it fucked him up even more in a way that he neither thought could be possible nor that he could bear.

He’s convinced that he’s cursed; everything that’s happened to him has been his fault. He started the war within Eldarya, destroyed so many faeries’ lives, killed his own brother, and now the woman he loved is dead because of him as well. Sure, he wasn’t the one to tie the rope around her neck, but there are signs for these sorts of things. Was he truly that blind that he couldn’t see that she was in pain? Did he ever truly love her if he couldn’t see the pain? Would she have done anything differently if he wasn’t there to constantly remind her of everything that was lost?

Lance believes he deserves this. He’s caused so much pain and agony for everyone, it only makes sense that he should be the one in pain now. Lance won’t try to fight the agony he’s in, he’ll let himself drown in it for nights on end to wake up - or not even sleep to begin with - feeling exhausted, reckless, irritated and - overall - worthless. He’s sure to emerge from his room in the morning without the slightest hint that he’s been sobbing quietly with the feeling of a dagger twisting itself over and over within his chest all night, and he’ll refuse to answer any questions about if he’s alright after the recent events. He was the one to find her after all; it would make sense that he was hit the hardest...

In the daytime he’ll be rough and withholding, keeping the Obsidian guard in a tight hold to reflect how he needs to hold himself tightly to keep from falling apart. It’s one thing for him feel and express emotions, but this feeling is an entirely different thing; this is something that should not be released into Eldarya. He realizes it and knows that this feeling - something that he recognizes all too well from his past - threatens to destroy everything that he worked so hard to gain in the past seven years.

Mathieu will notice Lance’s change in temperament immediately, and being the kind man he is he’ll want to be there for the dragon, but Lance won’t be looking for comfort; he’ll be looking for something that will change the past and take back everything that happened. But that’s impossible - he knows that - and so he’ll be stuck in a state of limbo, deemed to mourn for his unknown, unrealized love until... something happens to change him.

Ice cold fear will wash over him some days as he recognizes the familiar feeling that haunted him in the past, and while he’ll be aching to reach out to lean on someone for support - afraid of this feeling overwhelming him again - he’ll feel that he can’t lean on anyone. He doesn’t deserve that support at this point after all he’s done, and there’s so many others who are busy grieving; the guard needs him to be strong now. However, on occasion - when he has a clear mind - he’ll grieve gently with someone who’s somewhat close to him, sharing kind memories of Guardienne and gently advising them to spend time around friends if his co-worker feels it’s needed. He’ll never completely break in front of anyone though, he can’t bring himself to. 

However, Lance falls apart immediately when he’s alone, sometimes even lingering in the conference room for a few minutes after a meeting to allow himself the private time alone to recollect himself. Grief will randomly hit him throughout the day, constricting his throat, burning his chest, and glassing over his eyes - and every time he’ll excuse himself from his company to isolate himself until he regains control again. This, of course, is taken into notice by a few others around the guard, and slowly there’ll be people who realize that Lance is not fine.

This becomes a further issue over time as his grief slowly turns into anger and disgust, and this is when that familiar, ominous feeling from his past really rears it’s ugly face. He should have seen something. Was he really that terrible to her that she felt she couldn’t trust him? Was everyone really that blind to not see her hurting?

Lance finds that he begins to choose to isolate himself, mentally and physically. He’ll leave the guards members alone that have stated they need time off, but he won’t be very forgiving with those who have chosen to continue their work but seem to be slacking. His mentality is that if you can’t handle continuing on, then don’t offer your service as it’ll become a hindrance, and this quickly becomes a major issue.

Huang Hua - knowing how important Guardienne was to Eldarya, and the guard especially - has let it be known that if anyone needs a break from their responsibilities, then it’ll be allowed, but she will stress that those who feel they can continue to function please try to do so, and be lenient and take on a few responsibilities that aren’t usually asked of them if they feel they can. She can read other’s auras and sense intentions and emotions of sorts, so she can generally get a good read on how someone is doing, but she can’t consistently do that with everyone, so while she’ll use this ability when necessary to enforce that someone take a break so they don’t fall apart, not every unstable case is known to her. This is the main reason why she slightly overlooks Lance for a while. When he first found Guardienne, he panicked immediately, rushing her to Ewelein and not even truly believing her death until many days after the event. Huang Hua - having sensed his shock and panic blocking out any other emotions - let it go for a few days; everyone goes through their own grieving process, some immediately and some not until many years afterwards. There was nothing that anyone could do for him until Guardienne’s death hit him fully. However, she also knew from her abilities that Lance was in love with her, or at very least had a deep liking for Guardienne, so the instant a few members of the guard come to her expressing serious concerns regarding Lance’s recent aggression and distance, Huang Hua knows immediately that it needs to be dealt with. This grief was an unknown factor in Lance’s new life - but his past with this type of grief shows clearly that this can really fuck him up - so it needed to be discussed, otherwise he risks spiraling back into the same place he was seven years ago.

She’ll approach him when he’s alone, or if they’re in a relatively public space she’ll take him somewhere private, sensing all the while the breathtakingly painful feeling of agony, anger and distress that’s clouding his mentality. It was just the same as when he was Ashkore, how did he not yet break? He’ll refuse to follow her if he knows she wants to talk about his emotions - ironic since he’s always been open to sharing his perspective and thoughts - so she’ll just tell him that she needs to talk to him in private regarding a few anonymous tips from some guards members if he happens to ask why.

Being alone with an unstable, emotionally distraught dragon with a history of violence while under heavy states of grief does unsettle her a bit, but she knows the outcome of this will be much worse if he truly feels isolated. He’s not going to reach out for help by himself - he doesn’t know how to, nor does he probably want to - so she needs to be the one to reach out to him and help him stabilize himself before another situation like Valkyon’s death occurrs.

She’ll consider first talking alone with him in his room - where he’d likely feel most comfortable - but considering he’d likely be defensive, that could then translate into aggression in his own territory, and that may lead her to being forced out of his room for her own safety. Lance has certainly changed in temperament, but heavy grieving emotions can blind someone, so there’s really no promising that nothing... destructive may happen, no matter how much he’s changed in patience.

She then considers talking with him in the conference room, but there isn’t a whole lot of privacy there. The conference room is more for business, rather than personal, private, emotional conversations. The last thing Lance needed in this moment was for his emotions to be treated even slightly like a business confrontation and not as an important part of his being. Frankly, even on a day where he’s feeling just fine he would never accept anyone’s emotions to be treated like a business issue, so the last thing she wanted was to imply that by bringing him into a room that could do just that.

Huang Hua then thinks over the idea of talking to him in her room; it would likely be safer, after all. He probably won’t become territorial or aggressive as it’s not his territory, and it’ll be a gentle reminder that she’s happy to welcome him into her personal life to help comfort him (therefore defeating the concern that it could seem like a business confrontation), but since it’s her territory he might emotionally shut himself down. It can be uncomfortable to fall apart in someone else’s room, especially knowing they’re higher ranking and could be interrupted at any moment to deal with something else...

Then she wonders if she should bring him outside of the guard to speak with him - somewhere that’s private and on neutral ground. That way they’d both be in strange territory and may not be interrupted, and if they are they’d receive prior warning by noticing that someone was walking their way.

Of course, Huang Hua then realizes that - no matter how much she’d like to think that she understands what would make Lance most comfortable - she truly doesn’t know what would help him best, but she can be there to provide support at very least, regardless of where they are. At the end of the day, Lance would probably know where he’d feel most comfortable, so when she approaches him to talk, saying that it’s an important but private conversation, she’ll ask him where he would rather talk. He’ll be slightly hostile, especially when he picks up on the fact that she’s going out of her way to word things carefully and prioritize his comfort, but he’ll decide to talk somewhere private outside the guard, where no one is around.

And that’s how Huang Hua finds herself in the middle of the open plains, far away from the guard to talk to a dragon who might as well be stabbing himself with his own dagger with how he’s been allowing himself to feel as of late. She’ll start off gently, telling him the recent concerns of a few anonymous guard’s members and Lance will stand a few feet away and listen coldly with a blank expression until she suggests that he take a few days off. He’ll debate things with her then, and it’ll escalate slowly until Lance is clearly distressed but still unmoving in his decision to remain active, and Huang Hua will know then that she can’t be gentle anymore...

“Lance, take a few days off, for your sake.”

“No.” His tone is harsh and cold as he snaps at her. “The guard needs me, there’s so much I need to do - so much I need to repay-” He didn’t mean to let that last statement slip - after all, his actions certainly couldn’t be made up for, right? - but emotions can be a powerful thing, can’t they?

“You won’t be able to do any of that if you’re destroying everything you’ve helped rebuild in the process.” Lance is pacing, keeping his eyes trained to the ground. Huang Hua - despite her anxiousness at the dragon being so stubborn on decisions made under heavy negative emotions - tries to keep a comforting, open atmosphere to avoid furthering any issues. “You know the pain you’ve cast upon on others, you’ve felt that same sort of pain now and you need to take time to be able to recover from that.”

“I can’t take time, it’s not something I can just accept! Everyone I’ve hurt before never had time to accept the situation before I made it worse, but they still pushed forward! There’s no reason for me to have it any easier!”

“And where would we be if we treated you the same way you used to treat the world? Would we be any better than how you used to be?”

Lance stops pacing but his eyes remain on the ground, his throat constricting as his thoughts run rampant. Would they be the same as how he used to be if they allowed him to keep running himself this way? He’s done terrible things, but he’s spent many years trying to keep that from happening again. Certainly he’s an asset to the guard now, so would it be cruel of them to ignore his distress? Or would it be justified payback for everything he’s done?

“Lance, you’ve done wonderful things the past seven years, and we want you to continue that and I know you want to continue that as well. Take some time off so you can do that without destroying yourself or your environment. Don’t ignore your pain like it’s nothing - it’s not nothing, and you have the resources to deal with it in a better way now. Use those resources, Lance, it’ll help you work your way through this.” Huang Hua’s tone is gentle and soft as she pleads with him, hoping that her blunt words will reach his common sense.

He tries to argue this, stuttering the beginning of sentences to try and disprove her point, grasping for any reason as to why his pain is invalid. However, Lance finds that there’s no sound argument against Huang Hua’s words, and constricting panic, horror, and then heavy tides of grief will hit him as he realizes that he is, in fact, dragging himself into his own downfall. He is his own worst enemy, once again.

In any manner, this is all his fault - his past actions, Guardienne’s distress of what’s changed that lead to her death, his emotional isolation, and disruption of the guard is all because he doesn’t know how to deal with himself and his abyss of emotions. How did this happen to him? He was never the type of person to deny and hide away his emotions, so how is it he ended up caging himself like this when under personal grief? Is it because the situation is so personal to him that he has a hard time allowing himself to seek comfort in others who likely couldn’t understand?

Lance will fall apart at this, closing his eyes and turning towards the ground to keep himself together, but falling apart all the same as grief overwhelms him one final time in a push that throws him over the edge. He’ll clench his fist and bow his head, bringing it over his mouth as he desperately tries to steady his breathing, to no avail as tears find their way from his eyes and his chest heaves in quieted sobs. 

Huang Hua will lurch forward to comfort him, but stops as Lance whirls around to step back and snap at her - he didn’t want comfort, he wanted her back!

“Where were you for her!? Why didn’t anyone else see her pain!?” His eyes are tragedy and desperation underneath the weakened cold anger of ice blue, a faint few tears streaking down his face as his voice - thunderous and howling - cracks and breaks alongside his crumbling rage. If he couldn’t have fixed this, then someone else could have - why didn’t anyone fix this!?

“You know it’s not morally correct to monitor everyone’s private emotions all the time. What kind of leader would I be if I didn’t allow my people their privacy?” Huang Hua stills and clasps her hands together at her waist, understanding Lance’s outward anger. However, she realized his statement signaled something else as well; Lance could no longer fight why he should allow himself to grieve, so he was desperately clinging onto some semblance of needing to be distant by turning it to be someone’s fault - someone that he could hate.  “You are right in a way; of the many people who knew her, someone might have been able to catch how torn up she felt, but people who wish to hide their pain, or spend so long hiding their pain that it becomes a part of who they are, learn how to hide their pain in ways too complex for others to realize. And, Lance, if she didn’t want anyone to know about her grief, there wouldn’t have been much that I could have done anyways.”

“You could have helped her!” The dragon’s voice was weakening as he spoke, distant anger being replaced by a cold, hollow emptiness as he realized the truth in Huang Hua’s words.

“Only if she was ready for that help. You can’t force someone to accept help, you can only wait for them to allow themselves to be helped.”

“She wouldn’t want me to find relief during this time...” He looked away toward the ground and hung his head, blinking rapidly as he began to heave for breath. There must be a reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to feel this way .

“Do you think she would have wanted everything good you did - whether she knows what you did or not - to be destroyed because of your grief for her?” Lance’s eyes squinted closed and he tilted his head a bit further away from the phoenix. It seemed as though every reminder of everything good he’s done continues to leave him with a hollow chest. “I think if she witnessed firsthand everything you’ve done the past seven years she would have thought very differently about you now than what she did when first having woken up from the crystal.”

Lance turns to face his back towards her, resting a palm on his forehead before brushing his fingers back through his hair as a tremble rolls through him. He could feel pressure rising from his throat as he bared his teeth in an agonized snarl before parting his mouth to silently gasp for air. His head tilted back to look at the sky, only for a few tears to fall from his eyes when he releases a shaky breath.

“Lance, your situation with her was very unique - no one else could begin to understand exactly what you’re feeling from your history with her. Take some time so you can understand it - and fix, or do, or feel whatever you need to - so you can carry forward knowing yourself better.”

He wanted to fight her statement, but his moral compass argued with his resistance on this as well. If anything, of whatever terrible things came as a result of her death, there should be some good sought from it as well. What’s the point of accepting a tragedy if not to learn something from it as well, even if it’s something quiet that no one else knows you learned?

For the first time in a long while - if not ever - Lance allows himself to break and be comforted. He lets himself embrace the burning, stinging pain that rises in his chest as he turns his head back to the ground and collapses on his knees. Huang Hua immediately reacts and is by his side in moments, on her knees and laying a gentle hand on his shoulder as she leans against him slightly. Sobs escape his throat as his body tenses and curls forward slightly, bracing a hand on the ground to steady himself as tremulous waves of emotions - any and all emotions that could possibly be named - wash over him and leave him gasping for air.

“I miss her, too.” Huang Hua’s voice shakes now as she leans further against the dragon, bringing her arms as far around him as she can while her head rests against his shoulder, away from the spines on his pauldrons. Lance brings his other hand up and tightly grasps the forearm reaching across his chest.

Huang Hua had spent so much time trying to help others through this that she had completely forgotten to make sure she was alright as well, and seeing Lance - the man she least expected to be torn apart by this situation - completely break and fall apart before her eyes reminded her of the true depth of their loss. They didn’t just lose Eldarya’s savior, they had lost a friend, a great warrior, one of the last angels, someone who was pure at heart and wasn’t afraid to face the darkness of life without so much as a blink of hesitation. They had lost someone who gave everything for the world, and suffered because of it.

Minutes merged until they were unsure of how long they spent in the fields, but in time both of them calmed down. Lance - now able to think clearer on the subject - began to reflect on the situation.

“This wasn’t her fault... the blame is on all of us, for not having seen anything... but she must have known that someone would have been there for her if they knew how much she was hurting...” He murmured this quietly, waves of shame washing over him again as he realized he was perhaps pinning some of the blame on Guardienne. Was there really anyone to blame here? She must have known that someone would have been there for her if she sought help, but it’s not right for others to pry into the personal life of another if the intrusion is unwelcomed, and who was to say she wanted help in the first place? Had she given up? Would anyone have been able to stop her to begin with? Who was to blame, if there was anyone?

“There’s nothing we can do now except honor her and move forward.” Huang Hua whispered back with a shaky voice and Lance faintly nodded his head. There were many things that worked together to lead to this happening, and in between there also were moments where something could have helped deter it, both by her doing and by others. At the root core, everyone and anyone could have helped stop this in some way, even if it was by giving her a small passing smile that could have helped remind her that there is good and hope in the world, but there’s also no guarantee that anyone could have stopped it. Regardless, this is how things happened. They can’t change the past, but they can move forward with her in mind and learn from this.

Lance - despite his heavy grief and complex emotions on everything - begins to soften himself to the situation. He’s not the only one grieving. His situation may have been the most complicated, but he’s still in the same boat as everyone else. He doesn’t feel the need to sob alongside the others anymore, but he does find that whenever the group he’s in begins to fall apart into wailing, he’ll bow his head and won’t hide the obvious pain that he’s in at the reminder of his lost love. His feelings for Guardienne will be kept quiet, and he won’t openly say how he felt about her - it could still be seen as wrong in the opinion of some people for him to have fallen in love with the same woman he hurt so much, especially knowing her pain is what led to her death - but he won’t deny the truth of his feelings to those who caught on somehow. Lance will find that he’ll slowly begin to mend after this death, many months after of course, but it’ll happen, and in some ways this will help him move past his brother’s death as well. After all, in the end both Guardienne and Valkyon came to accept their final moments in life before allowing Lance’s past actions to bring about their end, and although one chose to die to help mend him and the other chose to die to help relieve herself, the root issue of the situation that led to their death was still very similar. He’ll have a hard time allowing himself to move past the fact that his actions played a major part in both deaths, but he realizes in time that that’s what happens when someone has a violent past. It’ll haunt for many years, and the effects of it can never be reversed, but in the end this only inspires him to work harder to provide a better world. Maybe he can’t erase what he did, but he can make sure it doesn’t happen again and work to provide Eldarya with as much good as he can provide now.

Without a doubt Guardienne’s death hits him hard, but he’ll be sure to come back twice as strong from this.

I hope you like this, Anon! I feel Guardienne’s suicide would definitely hit Lance hard and remind him subtly of Valkyon’s death, but I don’t see Lance being held down by this for too long. He’d heavily grieve for her for a good while before he eventually finds himself standing on two feet again and powering his way through life, if not for his own sake then for the sake of others, both alive and dead. 

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

[mego42]

Hii!! I was wondering if you plan on continuing Swear on a Silver Knife?? That first chapter got me hoooked!

Hi!!! I super am and I am so! extremely! pleased! you like it, that fic is my weird little unexpected but deeply beloved baby tbh. 

I’ve been making myself to stay focused on song bc it’s so close to being done, but once that’s up, I’m getting right back into swear. I already have ch 2 fully drafted (though in need of some rewrites and editing), 3 halfway drafted, and the rest worked out in a pretty detailed outline, so I’m feeling good about picking it back up once song's finished.

in the meantime, please enjoy this snippet from ch 2 for your troubles (it is nsfw in case you’re in a pharmacy or garden center or what have you)

Beth looks to the basket she’s using in place of a bedside drawer. Eyes the little pouch containing Annie’s congratulations-on-divorcing-your-trash-husband present. It’s an idea, anyway. It’s not like she has to think about—she won’t think about...anyone—thing. Specific.

Shucking off her jeans, Beth flops down on the air mattress and grabs the little pink vibrator. Her old one—and oh God does she hate thinking about it, wondering what happened to it, who’d seen it—had been a pretty standard issue: cylindrical, twist the base, press the button, and there you have it. This one’s smaller, intended only for external use, came with modes. It was quieter too—not that that mattered anymore. 

Lying back, she wiggles a little, trying to get comfortable, grimacing as the plastic mattress squeaks against the floor. She really should bump an actual bed up her list. If for no other reason, her back can’t take much more of this. Then, closing her eyes, she presses the vibrator on, jolting as it hums to life. 

For years Beth’s...alone time has been pretty, well, vague. She’s never been all that into porn. She knows there’s quality, feminist stuff out there but has never quite had the time or patience to find it on her own, and the thought of asking... 

It’s bad enough that her little sister has bought her not one but two vibrators now; Beth doesn’t think she could handle Annie’s commentary on Beth knowing or not knowing how to use them. 

And Ruby, well. Beth’s always been acutely aware her marriage hasn’t been remotely comparable to Ruby and Stan’s and she’s never been able to bring herself to talk to her friend about anything that might bring that to the surface. Beth knows Ruby wouldn’t judge her, but in some ways the thought of her sympathy is worse. 

Anyway, as a result, Beth’s developed a very...potent imagination.

She imagines sensations, feelings, being touched deliberate and intent and knowing. Being able to let herself go. It’s always been general or vague—hands, lips, skin—she’s never been big on specific scenarios. 

It’s only recently that her fantasies have turned...particular. 

Hands have developed calluses that fit the grip of a pistol, adorned by rings, a cold and biting counterpoint to her flushed skin. Lips have turned lush and expressive, quirking with sardonic amusement, falling slack in awed reverence. Skin has become burnished and velvety smooth, stretching taut over hard muscle, decorated with swirling black ink. 

No.

Beth’s eyes pop open and she stares at the blank, white ceiling above her. The soft buzz of the vibrator carries on, even as the heat that’d started to gather dissipates. 

She huffs out a breath. 

You think any of them can do this to you? You think anyone else can?

Gritting her teeth, Beth shakes her head, forcibly clearing her mind, then closes her eyes and tries again. 

She concentrates on the hum of the vibrator, the thrumming sensation against her skin. She focuses on each spike of her pulse, following each thread of heat twining through her, imagining fingers drawing patterns across her skin. 

She thumbs the intensity up a notch, a soft moan escaping as she clamps down on nothing. 

Her legs tingle, muscles twitching as the heat crawls down them and Beth digs her heels into the air mattress, her hips canting, searching, chasing a memory. A phantom hand slides up her thigh and she throws her head back, imagining a cool night breeze against her fevered skin, the sound of laughter echoing across a city square underscored by the sounds of late night traffic only a few feet away and when she blinks her eyes open, for a split second she sees a face silhouetted against a streetlight and she bucks, coming up off the mattress and—

No.

Flopping back with a frustrated groan, Beth fists her free hand in her blankets, gritting her teeth and shaking her head to clear the memory. 

Okay, fine, maybe she wants specific. It doesn’t have to be—

Casting about for a memory, any memory she can latch on to and use to block out...anything else, Beth remembers the class this morning and Bobby’s hand splayed wide across Mandy’s stomach.

That’ll work.

She clicks to the next setting, gasping a little as the steady buzz turns to a rolling wave, a pulsing sensation that ebbs and flows, drawing out her pleasure with each undulation.

Beth whimpers, spreading her legs a little more to get a better angle. Her eyes fall shut and she concentrates on the image, imagining the feel of a hand—Bobby’s hand—big and warm and heavy against her stomach, fingers spread wide and dipping low, then lower. The heat builds, smoothly, steadily, each cycle of the toy stoking it higher, and higher, and pretty soon she’s arching, rolling her hips in time to the vibrations. 

She flicks the vibrator up, the buzz intensifying and she bucks. Her necklace shifts, the charm a shock of cold as it flips and falls against the hollow of her throat. She remembers the feel of another pendant dangling, tapping against her collarbone in time to the movement inside her. Remembers tangling her fingers in the chain, the links biting into the crease of her palm as she used it to tug him down to her. Then the taste of him, rich and smooth on her tongue, as she’s kissing him and kissing him and kissing him and he’s kissing her back, a nearly frantic urgency in the press of his lips and the way his breath gusts shakily against hers as they move together, scaling a peak, the edge looming closer and closer and then she’s—

Not thinking about Bobby anymore. 

No.

Beth rips the vibrator away, her whole body trembling, muscles spasming and heat pin-balling around her nervous system so close but not quite enough to push her over. 

She flops back down on the bed, toy still clamped in her hand, humming uselessly, the noise loud and obscene when it’s not muffled by her skin. She stares up at the ceiling, blinking away the memory of the blank expanse awash with the afternoon sun, streaming in through the gauzy curtains.

The ceiling stares back. 

Fuck. 

[magicflowershop]

❁ every 12.30 pm

➳ timeskip!sugawara x reader oneshot

➵ fluff, heart-warming, cute kids

✿ you found a cute teacher in your niece’s school, so maybe picking up a kid from school everyday isn’t such a bad idea.

❀ // hi! i’ve been gone for so long and finally i finished this after weeks of letting it rot in my drafts,, i don’t wanna delete this bc it feels like i’ll foresaken my angel Suga so here i hope you all enjoy my first oneshot :>

word count // 3,257

of all days, you picked this day as the day to slack off.

there was no reason to doll up, you reasoned. this was your rest day. no plans were made and no places you needed to go, so you went and picked up your sister’s kid wearing your house clothes.

no biggie. a few blocks distance wouldn’t hurt your sense of insecurity. a kindergartener’s teacher also wouldn’t possibly judge how you look when you’re only out to pick a kid up from school.

today, however, was different.

everything became instinct. your fingers went up the center of your jacket, to zip it up entirely. your hands then reached down to your sweatpants, checking if you were wearing it the right way. to your hair, if there are hair strands that are where they’re supposed to be. everything became instinct so you don’t look so much like a mess

in front of this fine preschool teacher.

“i’m Futaba’s guardian.”

your throat let out the softest, shyest voice you could ever project. you found yourself shamelessly, and instinctively, acting cute in front of this fine preschool teacher. 

how else were you supposed to react? his beautiful gray hair enticed you, with a fringe softly parted on the center of his forehead. his porcelain skin that put Snow White to shame, his round, brown eyes that reflected every star in the galaxy, and his smile that could win a boxing match against the sun. not to mention, the mole under his left eye definitely hit the mark.

“good afternoon, Futaba’s guardian-san.”

hearing his voice for the first time, you’re decided. it was a crush.

perhaps it was superficial of you. you claim to fall for a guy you don’t know only for the fact you found him cute. you thought looking at him, admiring him like this was enough however when his angelic smile brightened at the sight of the children waving bye-bye to him and him waving bye-bye back. when he went down on one knee in front of your sister’s daughter, politely asking her she has to stop playing with her classmates because you have come to bring her home. when Futaba spread her arms and wrapped them around his neck, telling him a lispy see you tomorrow.

how dare you face someone like him looking like this.

on the way home, you were dead-set on asking your sister to let you bring your niece home every schoolday. seeing him once was not enough. something about him gravitated you to wanting to see more of him.

you remember the name written on his nametag when you caught the last glimpse of him. 

“Sugawara”

his name reminded you of grass fields, as it is what it meant. it was perfect for him. the aura he emitted was rather calming. people must like having him around for he’s a breath of fresh air. he really was a perfect kindergarten teacher.

“how was school, Futaba?”

your niece skipped as she walked, visibly excited to talk about her day. “it was really fun! my classmates and i had a tea party earlier! Futaba almost spilled the cup because it was too hot.”

“what about your teachers?” you wanted to smack yourself for squeezing information about a guy from your 5-year-old niece. it is a desperate move however, which else choice do you have?

“ah! Sugawara-sensei read us a beanstalk story before nappy time.” Futaba put a finger on her chin as if to think about what else happened. she had no idea how hooked she got you to listen to her story. “then, then Sugawara-sensei helped Futaba with her clay family!”

you then considered yourself lucky.

“do you like Sugawara-sensei?”

and pushed the topic about the man further, seeing the sparkles in your niece’s eyes and how she skipped even happier. “yes! yes! Futaba’s favorite teacher is Sugawara-sensei,” she declared and continued shyly. “he helped Futaba talk to her crush Kaito-kun.”

when you said you were dead-set, you are dead-set for real. what’s there to lose? kids love him, including your own niece. he’s beautiful. he has a gentle voice. he probably smells like daisies. you just have to befriend him and get to know about him some more before introducing him to your parents-

as a friend. 

right?

“for what? did you find a cute guy there or something?”

it sucked your sister knew you too well.

that day, you invited yourself in your sister’s room the second she got home from work. the sly yet desperate move visibly annoyed the older so much that she knew you had something up your sleeve to even dare show up in her room.

“no. just that, it’s a good way to take breaks from the café. plus, i get to hang out with Futaba.” you explained as simply as you could, even though your sister literally can see right through your lies.

she hummed and replied with, “you never get out of the house unless it’s absolutely necessary. when i asked you to take Futaba home from school yesterday, you hated it because your break time from café is ruined. please. find someone else to fool, y/n.”

you soon admit that you truly are dumb. that, however, did not stop you from redeeming yourself to your sister; that being telling the truth and not exactly redeeming anything. you told her the man you set your eyes on in Futaba’s school. you jokingly told her it was love at first sight even though you never believed of something as ridiculous as such.

besides, your sister has no room to reject. you aimed at two birds with one stone. not only do you get to see more of the guy, but you will do your sister a favor of taking care of her daughter for free.

she sighed, finding no way to deny this. “i hate to say it but your timing is too good. i was thinking of finding a babysitter for Futaba since both of us are busy. but if you insist, who am i to decline?”

so this side job began the following day. 

thirty minutes spared during your break before you engage yourself to war. you decided to spend those thirty minutes to rearrange yourself. you would rather not switch into your house clothes like you did yesterday, would you? this time, you chose carefully. you didn’t want to look like a floor rag but you didn’t want to look like you went there to go on a date either. even to contemplate whether or not you must add a little more blush on your cheeks to look lively.

you changed into a casual fit. a plain shirt, denim shorts and a pair of slip-on sandals. it was an attempt to not look like you were trying too hard. not with those clean ponytail and tinted lips.

“good afternoon, i’m Futaba’s guardian.” you told yourself a good job that you remembered to greet today.

but Sugawara wasn’t the one you directed that to. 

he wasn’t around. you sneaked glances left and right to see if he was playing together with the other kids, but alas.

you walked home with Futaba, holding her hand. you try to match the child’s mood as she was very elated to talk about her day. on the other hand, you; Sugawara could have been busy. you can still see him again the following day.

the following days, you lessened your get up from your first attempt. he was present, but the greetings were the same as first day you met.

what the hell are you supposed to do now? do you start conversations? well, of course, you told yourself, since you’re the one who wants something from him. but how? what should you talk about? your day? his day? the kids? his job? what?

“thank you for taking care of Futaba.”

“hm? it is my job though.”

there goes your little motivation to initiate conversations with people you’re interested in. 

you hear him chuckle at you, which added to the embarrassment you had from your statement alone. 

today was parents’ day. the kids were asked to bring their parents to school to have a little meeting with the rest of the class. it worried you that Futaba only had you as her guardian to go with her, not her mother, but you see the kid in her high spirits since this morning you didn’t want to ruin that for her and apologize on her mother’s behalf.

you think this as you lean against the wall at the corner, until you notice Sugawara stood beside you. so much so, you spoke absent-mindedly.

you should have kept your mouth shut.

“is Futaba’s mother doing okay? we haven’t seen her since a week ago.”

or maybe you don’t have to keep your mouth shut after all. you turned to him, stunned. like, goodness, he’s starting a topic with you himself. how can you not be stunned.

“o sorry. is it a sensitive topic? i’m sorry-”

“no!” you said audibly. too audibly. you clamped your mouth, worried if you took the children’s attention away from the kids who are presenting in front. you continued in a whisper, while he still chuckled at you, “Futaba’s mom recently switched work schedules that clashes together with the kid’s school. she wasn’t allowed to take a leave today, so i’m here in her place.”

geez, were you talking too much?

“i see.”

you probably were talking too much.

“you two are siblings, no?”

“uh, yeah. we are.”

he nodded to himself, turning to the kids presenting again. a silent heave of relief escaped you while you leaned comfortably against the wall again. guess that was enough interaction for the day.

“i guess, we’ll keep seeing Futaba’s guardian-san from now on.” he gave you a gentle smile, leaning a bit closer to you from the half-feet distance.

“you don’t have to keep calling me that.”

“my apologies. what should i call you?”

“y/n.”

“y/n-san then.”

he gave you one last boyish smile before walking off to his station.

hold up.

did he just come here to ask for your name? did he trick you into telling him your name?

you and Futaba went home happily. literally, the both of you had a great day in school. here, you were giggling like a kid who just got noticed by her crush. but you could be wrong. it’s only natural of a teacher to learn one of his student’s  guardian’s name. he cannot be interested in you. 

on the other hand, he did start a conversation with you.

don’t get ahead of yourself, you thought. you cannot help but still think about it.

the traffic lights flashed a green color.

days went on. you stayed as the one bringing your niece home safely every afternoon while the mother is busy. the relationship and trust you built with the child strengthened. your heart swell each time you see her jumping in joy whenever you show up after school. when you thought that alone will bring you happiness everyday, Sugawara greets you everyday with the same boyish smile.

each day pass, soon you become close friends. this made Futaba happy as you two are two of her favorite people.

until one day, the teacher called saying Futaba got sick.

worry engulfed you. you wondered what could’ve happened for the child to get sick, when she was fine earlier before her and her mother left together. could your sister not have noticed? or did it happen during school? more and more questions took shape as you frantically closed the café and ran to the school.

you rushed inside the nurse’s office, panting profusely. your eyes first caught your niece lying on the bed unconscious, and Sugawara sitting by the bed, placing a damp towel on her forehead.

“good morning, I’m Futaba’s guardian.”

Futaba’s teacher explained the situation to you. the kids were outside playing in the playground when Sugawara saw Futaba drenched in one hidden part of the garden. you see another kid standing beside the teacher. the kid gripped the hem of his shirt tightly as if he wanted to rip it off. the scowl on his face says enough of why he was here.

“i didn’t do it.”

the teacher continued, “ever since parent’s day, apparently some students have been picking on Futaba for not having her mother around.

“i’m terribly sorry. i’ve helped Futaba in ways i can. even i wanted to call you for this, but when i told Futaba i will, she begged me not to tell you because you and her mother are both busy with work.” she nudged the kid beside her, “isn’t there something you need to tell Futaba’s guardian?”

the kid averted his eyes. you figured there was no reason squeezing an apology from stubborn children like him. you kneeled before the kid to be at the same level as his eyes.

“what’s your name?”

he spent a few seconds quivering his lips before speaking, “Sora.”

“Sora,” you held his shoulder gently, looking into his eyes. “you’re very lucky to always have your mother by your side.”

tears formed in his innocent eyes.

you went on. “always remember to tell your mom that you love her, long as you still have her around, so she will stay. okay?” you finished, smiling at him as bright as you could.

Sora erupted into tears, storming off out of the nurse’s office and yelling his apology.

kids.

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to make him cry.” you reasoned, when you know full well you did it on purpose to put that kid into a guilt trip for messing with your niece like this. the teacher said it was fine, that she could’ve done it the same thing but a different way.

ignoring that, you turned to Sugawara, who you forgot was there the whole time, “i’m sorry for the trouble. i’ll be taking her home now.”

“i can help you bring her home.” 

Sugawara stood up from his seat. this startles you because you also forgot you had a crush on him. you try to decline his offer, reasoning that your house is nearby and that you can carry a kid no problem.

but the Futaba’s teacher helped insist, “Sugawara-sensei should help you look after Futaba… uh, y/n-san was it?” you nodded, dubiously. “it was also said by Futaba that you’re working alone in your house with no one to help you. so please.”

you couldn’t decline when you saw Sugawara already carrying the kid behind his back. so you went home together with him, big deal. you felt embarrassed after getting your background get found out like that. guess Futaba is too honest of a kid, but not honest enough to tell her family that she was bullied at school.

“here will do.”

the two of you finally stood in front of your father’s café. the walk was silent, but you believed it was enough interaction for the day once more.

“you weren’t kidding when you say it was nearby, huh?” he said, looking through the glass windows.

“well. yeah.”

“that’s too bad,” he says, still carrying the kid on his back. he looks back to you. the smile appears again, “aren’t you going to open the door?”

you unlocked the doors. then, it hit you. what did he mean by too bad?

after taking Futaba up to her room and tucking her in bed, you went back down to the café where you found Sugawara idling about. “you can rest yourself on one of the booths. let me brew a drink for you.” you took your apron and hurried behind the counter. meanwhile, the man stood up perhaps wanting to leave. 

“oh, you don’t have to make me a drink. i should be leaving.”

this confused you. really, what was that too bad for?

“you went all the way to our café. it’s only natural i made a drink for you.” you try and justify yourself. also, you already pressed the espresso machine. there’s no reason to waste a cup of espresso.

“if so, must i stay?”

this was the second to the last straw.

you stood there, one hand holding the ice scooper and the other holding a grande-sized cup, while staring at him straight into his bright eyes. those orbs must be telling you something. there should be a secret hiding within those eyes. for example, an answer to his question. 

“do you want to stay?” you first broke the gaze.

“i’m the one asking you, y/n,” he said with a chuckle. 

once again, you hesitated. “sure.”

the café flooded with silence while you made an iced latte for him. you trailed your gaze to the top of his head as he sat on one of the booths. concerns arise from the pit of your mind. nothing seemed to be happening. then, what is he here for? if he stayed, what will happen? is this all on purpose? should you put your guards up? 

are the green lights alit again?

you put the iced latte on his table when he spoke. “i’m quite worried about Futaba with what happened to her.”

“well, she did a good job hiding the truth from us.” you say as you sat across him. “she’s a strong kid. i’m more worried if she will continue hiding her pain from the people who care about her.”

maybe you shouldn’t start such a touchy subject like this, yea? Sugawara landed his eyes at you but you avoided it and stood up. you have no idea what’s going on. if anything, this is not the right context of when something will develop. both of you just brought home a sick kid, for Pete’s sake. must you really take advantage of this?

“anyway, i’ll tell my sister what happened. she can help Futaba better than i-”

“i wonder if i’ll still see you every afternoon.”

his honesty astounded you. Sugawara’s pale face flushed from shame. guess he didn’t mean to say that. this means, if you weren’t getting ahead of yourself again, it’s how he actually feels.

you tried to lessen his embarrassment, “of course you will, who else will pick Futaba up from school?” so you played dumb.

“if your sister knew about the situation, she might switch her schedule.”

what was he trying to say?

“she can’t do that easily, you know.”

“there will still be a possibility.” he rested his chin on his palm, smiling at you, “which reminds me, i have been looking for a part-time job around here. is your café looking for more workers?”

“you wanna work here?” you ask as you went and flip the sign to open, since you’re already back for work.

“sure,” he picked himself up from the booth and walked towards you. “but i think i should follow someone’s footsteps first and make an impression. you know, you’re going to be my boss. i should meet you with casual clothes, not with a track jacket, sweat pants and unkept hair. what do you think?”

you flipped the sign to close. “are you mocking someone here?”

he tried to not make himself laugh at you. “i’m just saying i shouldn’t half-ass it if i’m looking for another job, y/n.”

“doesn’t sound like you’re actually looking for another job though?” 

“i’m not,” he admitted. “i’m only looking for a reason to see you more. every 12.30 pm isn’t enough.”

the traffic lights said go. it is now 12.31 pm.

[mysticm3ss]

Could u pls write headcanons/a fanfic about RFA+(V & Saeran if u want to) getting MC pregnant but MC tries to hide her pregnancy (for any reason) and around 3 months later when her stomach starts to grow RFA find her pregnancy test hidden away somewhere and confront her about it. I know u already wrote a headcanon about their kids but I just love any sort of headcanon/fanfic about baby’s and pregnancy’s yknow. Btw I love your requests broski. Your a good writer. Sorry if my English not good lol

sure thing, thank you for requesting and thank you for the compliments! don’t worry your english is perfect! 

so i wrote this literally months ago and forgot it was in my drafts, i’m sorry it’s taken so long to get up!! i rly enjoyed proofreading this bc i’m studying developmental psyc at uni right now and it’s lowkey giving me mad baby fever lmao

(leaving out jaehee for this one bc she ain’t out here getting anyone pregnant, like even if she had a penis she’d be too responsible for that to happen unless it was planned anyway let’s b real. also i varied the way the boys found out a bit as well just so things don’t get too repetitive, hope that’s okay!) 

Yoosung:

The thing you have to know about Yoosung is that he is very small and has no money, so you can only imagine the stress he’s under~

Jokes aside, when you realise you’re pregnant, your first reaction is panic.

You and your boyfriend are both so young–you’re not even old enough to have graduated college yet, how are you going to take care of a child?

It takes you a solid month or two just to come to terms with the pregnancy yourself.

When you finally think you’re feeling brave enough to bring it up to him, the thought of what his family might think acts as another hindrance–he seemed to have a perfect family, and Yoosung himself had admitted they were somewhat conservative… how would they react to your situation?

While you’re busy still coming to terms with it, however, Yoosung accidentally stumbles upon the pregnancy test you had so cleverly hidden in the bathroom cabinet.

You’d slipped it into a box of toiletries, snugly hidden between the myriad of tampons and pads that it held. When Yoosung accidentally knocked it from the cabinet, he scrambled to tidy up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tucked away the sanitary products.

He froze when he saw the test, mind whirring as he struggled to explain away the white stick in his hand.

There was no explaining away those two pink lines, however, and so that night, he dared to broach the subject with you.

He fiddled nervously with his hands as he sat on your shared bed, eyes looking everywhere except your face when you entered the room.

“Yoosung… is everything okay?”

A shaky breath. “MC… are you… you’d tell me if something big happened, right? Like… like if you got pregnant or something?”

The guilt-ridden look on your face was all the answer he needed.

Your eyes welled up, and Yoosung’s arms were instantly around you, pulling you against him as he squeezed you tight despite his own shock.

“MC, why wouldn’t you tell me? How long?” His words were soft; gentle whispers into your ear as his fingers combed through your hair.

When you explained your worries, Yoosung’s heart instantly melted, and he felt guilty that he’d never realised what you’d been going through the past few months.

“Don’t worry about my family, MC– don’t worry about anything at all. I love you, and I love this baby, and we’re going to be so happy, okay? I’m right here, cutie, I’m right here…”

And though your face was buried in his shirt, Yoosung could still feel your smile.

Zen:

We all know that Zen is super-focussed on his career, and in turn, works long hours with early starts and late finishes.

His busy schedule and blooming career is the first thing to cross your mind as you stare at the two glaring pink lines on your pregnancy test.

How were you going to tell him? How would he react? His career was just beginning to take off… what if he didn’t want children so soon?

How were you supposed to deal with that..?

And so, spiralling into uncertainty, you decide to put off telling him for as long as possible; to enjoy your relationship for what it was now, in case it all fell apart.

As a result of Zen’s schedule, it’s not too gruelling to hide your pregnancy from your boyfriend.

You usually wake up to brutal morning sickness hours after he’s already left for work, and your fluctuating hormones generally only make their presence known while you’re on your own.

Regardless, Zen is extremely observant, especially when it comes to his jagiya.

He idly notices that you’ve gained weight, but he’d never bring it up; he honestly doesn’t care, so long as you’re healthy, which you certainly seem to be with how radiant you’ve been the past couple of months.

He does, however, notice that you’re keeping something from him. As to what, he’s not sure.

Zen trusts you wholly and completely, so it doesn’t even cross his mind that you could be hiding anything too big from him (at least, at first).

He figures that maybe you’re just planning a surprise for him, as he’s done a number of times for you in the past few years that the two of you have been dating.

When he comes back early one evening to see that you’re not at home, he sets about making dinner for the two of you and decides to get a head start on the chores.

He knows that he’s slacked off on his household duties lately, and the least he can do is pick up a few now that he has some time at home so that you don’t have to worry about them later.

While your favourite meal is warming on the stove, Zen strips the bed of sheets and gathers your dirty laundry into the hamper. 

When he returns with a load of freshly dried clothes, he begins to pack them away. As he folds your underwear and tucks them into the drawer, he notices what seems to be a piece of paper peeking out from beneath the neatly folded fabric.

Confused, he pulls it out, his breath catching as he sees the ultrasound.

He reads your name and the date over and over, unable to even comprehend that you could keep something like this from him.

He’s crushed that you hadn’t told him, and immediately falls into denial.

This has to be a prank, right? MC would never keep something like this from me…

He’s still frozen, sonogram clutched in hand, when you arrive home.

Zen looks up at you, eyes pleading and face soft with vulnerability as he wordlessly begs an explanation.

“…MC?”

His voice is so quiet and broken that it kills you.

You gently explain that it’s real; that this isn’t a tasteless prank but, in fact, reality. Zen takes a deep breath to steel himself.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Don’t you think I’d want to be there, especially for this?” he demands, voice ringing with pain and rising in anger as he holds up the sonogram still crinkled in his fist. 

It takes a bit of explaining on your part, but Zen’s hot temper gets the best of him as he shakes his head and turns away from you. Tears prick your eyes.

“Don’t you see, Zen? This is what I was afraid of!” Your voice cracks, and Zen spares a glance back at you, immediately softening as he sees your glistening eyes and the tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

“MC… I love you. I love this baby. I’d never leave, you know that, don’t you, jagi?” His voice is hushed, his heart breaking as he leans in to brush a tear from your face with his thumb.

“You can’t keep things like this from me, princess… not something this big. If you’re worried, talk to me, okay? I’m in this with you. Forever, remember?”

His arms fall around your shoulders as he crushes you to his chest, before pulling away in panic.

“Crap! Was that too tight? Did I hurt the baby?!”

You laugh, and the sound is music to Zen’s ears as you drag him in for another hug.

Jumin:

When you wake up to a sudden wave of nausea, Jumin’s first reaction is concern.

“O-oh, it’s nothing, it must just be something I ate…”

“I see. I must speak with the chef who cooked for us last night, this is a disgusting oversight on his par-”

No Jumin don’t fire the chef ohmygod

You barely manage to calm Jumin down before you’re huddled over the toilet once more, and he lets all remaining traces of fury evaporate as he focusses on holding back your hair and rubbing your back soothingly.

All the while, your mind can’t help but dart back to the pregnancy test that you’d hidden at the bottom of the wastebasket.

You knew you couldn’t keep this a secret from your husband forever; and in your head, you knew that everything would work out just fine. It wasn’t like you couldn’t afford a child, you had more than enough money to provide for them, it was just…

The two of you hadn’t been together for that long; not really. And although that didn’t diminish your love for one another, it didn’t change the fact that Jumin was still just getting used to being emotionally vulnerable and opening himself up to other people.

Would children be too much, too quickly?

He’d never even expressed interest in having children before; he was far too occupied with you and your relationship, enjoying the joys of the present and letting the future bring what it may.

And although you manage to hide your continual morning sickness from him for a little while, you know that as soon as you start to show, you won’t be able to put it off any longer.

When you wake up feeling nauseous yet again, Jumin declares it the final straw.

“MC, you’re clearly ill. I’m phoning a doctor,” he says, voice stern and leaving no room for disagreement. “I should let Assistant Kang know that I won’t be in for work today…”

Your weak protests fall on deaf ears, and barely half an hour later, Jumin is opening the door…

You didn’t realise that “phoning a doctor” entailed bringing in a whole team of specialists in various medical fields.

They check your vitals, and when you hear them begin to murmur about blood tests, you break.

“Jumin, this isn’t necessary!”

“What? Of course it is–they can help, MC. There’s clearly something wrong-”

“Jumin, I’m pregnant!” you snap, the words falling from your lips before you can register their utterance. Jumin’s eyes widen, and he clears his throat as deafening silence falls over the room.

“Excuse us,” he manages, and the team of specialists quickly and awkwardly take their leave.

Honestly, he’s lowkey offended that you kept it from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is stiff and cold, and your heart sinks as you feebly attempt to explain.

“Do you honestly think so low of me? Do you truly not trust me, after everything that we’ve been through?” he asks, voice hard.

That’s when you start to cry.

Damn hormones!

Jumin immediately softens, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you’re right. I do trust you, I swear, I was just… I was scared,” you finally managed, voice thick with tears.

And though it takes a little while, Jumin understands. And once the shock has faded, the small smile that tugs up the corner of his lips betrays the excitement that your news has brought him.

“We’ll have to start thinking of names, hmm?”

Seven:

You could hardly call the life that Seven led “safe.”

The risks that come with his job hardly provide an environment fit to raise a child, a thought that instantly flashed through your mind the instant you saw the two lines on the pregnancy test.

You swallow hard, hands shaking as you move to rest a hand over your stomach. If you had to guess, you’d wager that you were at least eight weeks along…

God, had Seven ever mentioned even wanting kids before?

But despite your worries, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of delight at the idea of raising children with the man you loved so dearly.

Still, that didn’t mean you knew how to tell him.

Luckily, you had time. Seven had been sent on a mission for the agency only that morning, and he wouldn’t be back for at least a month.

Although the news had been initially devastating, you were half-beginning to consider it somewhat of a blessing in disguise… at least you could figure out how to break it to him now, right? It wasn’t like you could break news like that over the phone, after all.

When Seven does finally arrive home, he wastes no time in sweeping you into his arms and planting tiny kisses all across your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, drinking in your warmth and softness and desperately attempting to atone for all the time with you that he had missed.

After finally pulling away, Seven easily notices that you’ve gained weight–of course, he’d never mention it; you were always beautiful to him.

Regardless, he can’t help but observe that you really do seem to be glowing. 

Saeyoung knows you well enough to easily realise that you’re keeping something from him. He sees the nervous twitch of your fingers, the tightness of your smile…

And so, when the two of you cuddle up on the couch later that evening, Seven pressing kisses to your hair and clinging to you like a baby koala, he finally brings it up.

“Sooo… what aren’t you telling me, MC?” he asks, playfully poking your side despite the worry that claws at his chest.

What if they want to break up? Oh god, what if-

He finds himself so lost in his own concerns that when the words finally fall from your lips, it takes him a moment to process them.

“W-what?”

“I’m… I’m pregnant, Sae.”

You hold your breath, and only release it when you see the huge smile stretch over his face, brighter than the sun and just as warm.

And just like that, you know that everything is going to be just fine.

“If it’s a girl, can we name her Elizabeth?” “Seven nO-”

hope you enjoyed, please reblog/comment if you did! ^^

[jewishbarbies]

👀

thank you!!

this is a scene from The Firefly, bc i’ve been working on it a lot! (pls ignore any typos/grammar errors, this is rough draft)

“All we can do now,” Omera spoke calmly. “Is let her rest.”

And that’s exactly what they did. However, Cara and Din took turns keeping watch just to make sure she didn’t stop breathing. It wasn’t hard for Jinjara to fall fast asleep. Once she was out, she was out for several hours. Her watchers changed out every four hours. It was Din’s second shift when her eyelids cracked open, her head turned against the flat pillow beneath it to get a look at the space she occupied.

She saw him immediately, sitting on an empty crate two feet from the cot. Din immediately sat upright upon seeing her lucidness. Through the night, she’d broken out in cold sweats. Droplets beaded her forehead and her disheveled hair had even more of a reason to stick to her face. But a corner of her mouth curved into her cheek as she looked across at the watchman. 

“Y-you’re my…g-aurd d-dog, huh?” Jinjara’s question was rhetorical, playful in nature. It brought a small smile to the Mandalorian’s lips, bittersweet in nature. He leaned forward to once again clear her forehead of hair, allowing her eyes to open fully if they so pleased.

“You can’t die yet - I haven’t told you how stupid that was,” he replied quietly, his voice soft as not to pain her ears. “Cara’s got a lot to say about that, too.”

“She a-always doess.”

They fell into a momentary silence. Jinjara’s eyes wandered off, unfocused, as her features went slack. Her brain was trying its hardest to function properly amidst the shock of blood loss, making it difficult to hold onto her thoughts. It took her a moment to retrieve the one she was looking for. She gazed up at the Mandalorian sitting across from her with a serious look that put a good sized lump in his throat with sudden worry.

“In case s-something happenss,” she spoke slowly, deliberately. “I…I need to as-sk you s-something.”

Din shifted to sit forward on the crate beneath him, shushing her, “Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

It was an empty reassurance - they both knew it. “I need to know,” she continued, and he found himself leaning even closer to hear what she might say, what exactly she wanted to ask. “Why doess your helmet have c-cheek boness?”

The Mandalorian felt a weight leave his chest as he sat back on the crate. Though she couldn’t see his face, Jinjara knew that the tilt of his head meant he was unimpressed. It was a relief to know that it wasn’t something serious, but he was unamused by her attempt at humor, giving a sigh loud enough to be heard through the Beskar.

Another smile - nay, a smirk - carved itself into Jinjara’s cheeks. “That’s not funny,” he narrowed his eyes at her amusement beneath his helmet.

“S-sorry, grumpy pantss. Didn’t know you were sso worried.”

Din’s mouth snapped shut. A bubble of anger was rising in his chest and he didn’t know why. Why was he angry? Was what she’d done that offensive? No, it wasn’t. It angered him that she did not take this seriously. She was dying right there before him and she was smiling, giving him that cheeky smirk with her glossy eyes. The more he looked, the less he raged. And then suddenly, she wasn’t looking anymore.

Her eyes snapped downward. She could feel it all. The anger, the offence, the worry. Gods, was he worried. It radiated off him in waves of cold that made her shiver and it scared her. Someone genuinely worrying scared her. No, not just anyone - him. He was worried because he cared, but caring was the last thing either of them wanted to do. Wasn’t it?

Quietly, Din tugged off his glove, before reaching out to brush away the hairs falling back into her face. The blonde waves were a womp rat’s nest but these few in front refused to become matted in with the others. It was a gentle kindness - the only he could offer. His skin was warm against the cold beads of sweat on her forehead and she leaned into the touch, seeking more of his comforting heat. 

For the first time in as long as Din Djarin could remember, for no reason of physical harm, he couldn’t breathe. There was something sweet behind her brashness that pulled at every single heart string in all the right ways. But he couldn’t let himself give her more than human empathy. After all of this, he told himself, they would go their separate ways. They would never speak again. And that’s how it needed to be.

Still, knowing this, his stomach turned the moment her eyes met his. The visor was impossible to see through, yet somehow she always knew where to look to see right through him. It was then that the clearing of a throat sounded like a trumpet blast in the quiet of the moment, pulling Din’s eyes away from Jinjara to see Cara now standing in the doorway of the hut.

She made a motion with her eyebrows, “If you’re busy, I can come back later…”

“No,” his voice cracked. “It’s fine.”

Cara nodded, lips pursed. She didn’t know what she just walked in on, but she knew it would be easy to pry it out of Jinjara with the state she was in. It was a little morbid to think that, considering it was her deathbed, but that was their friendship. If Cara were to say it out loud, Jinjara would laugh. Din shoved his fingers into his glove as he stood from the crate beside the cot, and he left the hut without another word.

Send me 👀 and I’ll share a scene from a WIP

[intothespideyverses]

so I had a season 2b/3 predictions post in my drafts that’s been sitting there since the bar mitzvah episode but now that so many Things have happened I feel like I kinda need to redo it. funnily enough I predicted juffy (but it was one-sided), ham having a midlife crisis (although the midlife crisis was linked to ham having a health scare that caused him to try to ‘live every day like its his last’ and not ham being so Done with his family that he just leaves them for india) and the post also mentions tyrus and g*briel coming back (neither have been been confirmed yet but they’re very likely) so! here’s my New and Improved list of Season 3 Predictions/Ideas:

[Disclaimer: I doubt a lot of this will happen bc my mind automatically goes for the most melodramatic scenario. This is still disney channel and they’re too cowardly to go thru with like half of this tbh. also tw for minor abuse mention!]

The G*briel Plot

-g*be comes back and reminds bex of “””why she can never marry anyone””” just as bowie is about to bring up maybe getting back together again. the reason why they shot a wedding scene and the whole green screen thing is bc bex has a nightmare about marrying bowie but then everyone’s heads turn into gabe’s. the following is literally copy and pasted from the first post and tbh I don’t think things will happen this way anymore (I originally thought miranda wasn’t going to be a snake and that her and bowie would get married, leading bex to run back to g*briel so andi could have a father figure in her life again) but it’s still a p interesting plot I think so: g*be’s an abusive asshole. it’s still disney so I doubt they’d show that much but like…he’s very manipulative and he kisses bex really hard all the time in front of everyone and he’s super possessive, etc. he gives bex the silent treatment every time she hangs out with bowie and thus the whole “ask if they’re mad 3 times” thing and on the third time he always yells at her in front of andi. andi notices all of this and tells bowie but bowie thinks she’s just saying that to break bex/gabe up so she can get back with bowie. that is until he witnesses the tomfoolery himself when the couples are on a double date so bowie takes her aside and starts questioning her but bex lies and this whole ugly thing continues on for several episodes until bex and satan have one last fight that goes too far (he says something about andi probably) thats about to get physical and andi strolls in w/ a phone in her hand like 91 fucking 1 bitch. pack your bags ur going home rat! and he’s finally gone and andi tells bex that she doesn’t need another dad if it means bex puts herself thru that kinda torture. and they have another closure ceremony <3

The Divorce Plot

-ham decides to permanently travel the world. he probably comes back for an episode to get cece to sign them divorce papers. this starts a huge plotline that will probably get ignored after 2 episodes lbr here but we finally see cece SNAP bc the way she’s been behaving lately has definitely been leading up to that

-bex is going off the rails at this. she starts slacking at work and the business that caused the rift in her parents’ marriage in the first place is starting to fall apart. the light bill is going unpaid and bex is crumbling. she doesn’t want anyone to know so she makes andi stay at cece’s while she’s living in darkness. bowie visits one day and is like “tf happened to the lights” and bex has a breakdown. she tells him everything and bowie comforts her and offers to help (how? who the hell knows!). bex is so touched that she admits to having feelings for bowie still. bowie turns her down tho bc she’s in a rly emotional state and doesn’t want to take advantage of her. 

-andi eventually finds out what’s been going on and tells cece. cece is the last person bex wanted to know about cloud ten struggling, as cloud ten was the only thing keeping cece sane. they eventually have a heart-to-heart and bex/andi encourage cece to get some closure from ham

The Wandi Plot/Death of Jandi

-wandi rises. they resolve to just be friends at the end of season 2 but after a lot of things that I’ll mention later, andi realizes walker was the one for her :’). they paint a mural alongside cloud ten and cece makes some offhand comment about them becoming a painting duo, which they LOVE. they go around the town offering to paint on the walls of local businesses and it’s rly cute. god can you imagine the montages?? andi is in puppy love however we have like 5 episodes of her despairing over if walker even LIKES her anymore after months of just being friends. the roles are reversed and she’s the one doing all these things to get his attention. bc he’s not an oblivious Fool like jonah, walker picks up on this relatively fast and wandi is official!!

-that leads us to what will come of jandi? they perish of course. andi starts getting jealous of jonah hanging out with all these high school girls and naturally there’s more and more miscommunication and jonah whines about her friendship with walker etc etc etc just break up already god. andi eventually realizes that she’s just not feeling it and she puts her foot down to bex that he’s just not right for her!! bc tbh at this point the only reason she still fw jonah is bc of bex’s constant encouragement 

The Tyrus Plot

-tyrus happens obviously. if we ever actually get a real apology from tj (which I’m doubting at this point lol) this can happen smoothly. I kinda imagine tj trying to teach cyrus how to swim (swimming is definitely on cyrus’ list of things he can’t do) and the first time it happens tj is SO sure cyrus will be able to do it that he lets him go out on the deep end on his own and uh lmao ya boi almost drowns. buffy’s there and she saves him and she tells tj to stay away from cy bc hello he could’ve McDied and tj, crushed over the fact that cyrus could’ve met a watery grave, actually does what she says. cyrus tells buffy that it was his dumbass decision to go on the deep end tho, and tj didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to do, so buffy relents. cyrus practices by himself and makes it his goal to learn how to swim in order to impress tj. he invites tj to the neighborhood pool one day as a surprise and he just like...cannonballs into the deep end (but he’s STILL not ready) and again almost fucking dies. tj saves him and he starts yelling at him a la titanic (”you’re SO stupid rose why’d ya do that huh???”) and then tj lets it slip that he would’ve mcfreaking lost it if something ever happened to cyrus bc “you mean a lot to me underdog” or w/e and during this whole rant cyrus realizes that he’s floating!! and he’s like yes bitch i did it im swimming! and tj’s so happy for him that he kisses him and cyrus almost drowns again from shock but it’s all good lol. maybe tj avoids him for a bit after the kiss bc cyrus’ reaction seemed like a rejection, but it wasn’t cyrus was honestly just shook to the core. 

-cyrus lets tj know that he likes him too and they start dating. they definitely keep it a secret from the ghc for a while, probably until the midseason finale. maybe jonah finds out first and that’s how cyrus comes out to him and tells him that he used to have a crush on him too. jonah is flattered and cool w/ it. anyway at first tj doesn’t like going on rly public dates with cyrus, not bc he’s ashamed of him or anything, but bc he doesn’t want anyone to make fun of cyrus (he can take ugly remarks but he’d hulk out if anyone touched a hair on cyrus’ head). cyrus doesn’t care tho and the one time they go on a date, some kids from tj’s school (he’d be in high school by season 3 right?) start messing with them. tj does in fact hulk out but only when one of the demons says something about cyrus. cyrus hauls tj off the creep and they talk in private about not wanting to live in fear but also not wanting to get harassed everywhere they go. when cy tells andi, she tells them that maybe they’d be safer if they went on double dates with her and walker, and so that’s a thing and its cute

The Juffy Plot

-anyway by the season 3b, both wandi and tyrus are thriving. they all hang out a lot leaving buffy to feel like a fifth wheel. she hides it tho bc does she ever express her feelings? she soon finds out that jonah is feeling the same way, and he thinks andi and cyrus don’t rly want to hang out with him anymore. buffy starts inviting jonah to all their outings and anytime the two couples are on a double date or something, buffy and jonah decide to do something else together on their own. cyrus takes note of this and tries to push buffy to ask jonah out since they’re practically dating already but she refuses bc he’s still andi’s ex and that violates girl code or w/e. 

-she goes to bex for advice! but she uses a hypothetical situation instead and changes names. bex, unaware that she’s telling buffy to go after her daughter’s ex, tells her to follow her heart but keep it a secret. meanwhile, jonah is slowly but surely realizing his feelings for buffy, and goes to bowie for advice. bc jonah’s a fool, he doesn’t know buffy has any feelings for him whatsoever, and he asks bowie how he can make her see him That Way. bowie, recycling ideas, tells him to perform a song for her but to do it as if he was just practicing and wanted to see if she thought it was a good song. jonah also doesn’t tell bowie that this is all for buffy lol. 

-so jonah invites buffy to the record store to hang out while wandi and tyrus are doing wandi and tyrus things. he plays some song for her (chemistry perhaps?? i still haven’t heard it yet but if its as good as y’all say...) and buffy is all heart eyes!! until she assumes that he wrote that song for another girl. there’s more unnecessary tiptoeing and drama for an episode until jonah notices that there’s something Up with buffy (she started avoiding him) and demands to know what’s going on. she doesn’t feel like talking about fEeLiNgS so instead he challenges her to arm wrestle. if she wins, she has to fess up. buffy’s like “um?? so all I have to do is let you win” but jonah’s like “like you would ever do that lmao”. she almost lets him win but bc he starts taunting she slams his mf arm into the table!! she fesses up and jonah’s like :D bc duh bitch that song was for you this whole time. they keep it a secret bc of bex’s foolish advice but eventually cyrus finds out and tells them to tell andi. andi’s upset at first but she gets over it. the three couples live in harmony 

The High School Plot

-we see more of the high school now that jonah (and tj?? unless he has to repeat a grade which is seeming likely actually) are there. jonah, who’s used to being the big man on campus, gets bullied for liking frisbee so much and is shamed into doing a “real sport” instead. he hates it and is miserable. he puts on a good face for the ghc bc he doesn’t want them to know he’s struggling. it eventually all comes crashing down when he has another panic attack (the first one in a while after starting therapy WHICH HE BETTER). also we get a look at his home life, I hc that he’s adopted and has a lot of foster siblings that have a lot of their own issues, so he constantly downplays his own bc he doesn’t want to be a “burden” and be abandoned again

-amber becomes a part of the crew and hopefully maybe just maybe is a lesbian. she starts hanging out with a bunch of sapphic baddies. she and jonah become friends and they help each other with their respective mental illnesses 

-through jonah, buffy makes friends with the high school track lesbians <3 they adopt her. one of them tho is Evil and is jealous that some middle schooler is getting all of this attention from the captain so she tries to break buffy’s fucking leg akjhskjdhds I told y’all this was melodramatic 

das it. disney you can send my paycheck to [redacted] within 10-12 business days.

[angst-in-space]

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can’t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

[hoe-imaginess]

Shino Aburame scenario please? He's a favourite character of mine that feels so unloved

I did a modern high school AU scenario draft if that’s cool bc I just love those AUs and it seemed to work so like???? Scenario drafts work well with modern AUs idk why. And I assumed you wanted it with a s/o but I started this as a reader insert my bad? Hopes this is okay

Shino scenario draft

You’ve known Shino for years. Ever since you first started school, you can remember him being there.

You can remember him finding slugs and beetles out in the school yard, showing them off like prized possessions and making girls squeal and run. You remember how he answered every science question correctly without fail, making you and your other classmates feel either incompetent or annoyed. He had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way sometimes. But not you.  

It was in high school that you two first had a class together. It’s then that you started watching him. He piqued your curiosity. There was so much to him. Shino was always so standoffish. But why? You know he has friends. A lot of them, judging by the niche he’s acquired over the years. Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba Inuzuka, Shikamaru Nara, and a number of others that to you never seemed like a crowd Shino would mingle with. Yet he seemed to fit in without much trouble. But still, for a guy with so many friends, he was so… to himself. Why? Was he shy? Anti-social? You could never figure it out.

Bothered by his habitual silence, you take initiative one day and speak up.

“Hey Shino… how did your science project go?” Not that you were truly invested in the answer, but you had heard his project gained major praise from the science department. It was something about the metamorphosis of moths compared to butterflies. You didn’t understand the hype yourself, but you wouldn’t expect anything less from Shino.

Although he’s mildly surprised by your question, probably because you two haven’t spoken beyond partner work all this time, he still offers you the courtesy and answers you.

“Fine.”

“Oh.” The brevity of his reply isn’t surprising, but you forgot how flat his tone could be. “That’s good.”

The atmosphere doesn’t change after that. It’s almost as if your initiative meant nothing at all. It doesn’t offend you. It doesn’t annoy you. The fact he replied at all is enough to make you happy.

~

Conversations with Shino don’t become much easier as the year goes on. But at least he’s giving you the time of day.

He still keeps to himself for the most part, but you get more and more out of him each passing day. Mostly snide comments under his breath. Sometimes about other kids in class acting up, sometimes about the teacher being incompetent. As cold as these comments might seem, they always make you chuckle. At least you’re beginning to see what kind of guy Shino is. Whimsical in his own respect, and much more fascinating than you previously thought.

He would never admit it, but he’s starting to think the same way about you.

~

Shino is in your class again the following year. He seems familiar enough with you that he willingly chooses to take the seat next to you on the first day.  A blessing in two respects, since science is your worst subject, and his forte. Now he’s your lab partner. You’re certain that will save you from a low mark this year. And, it again provides you the opportunity to get to know him better.

He can still be rather withdrawn at times. If you dare strike impulsive conversation during class, even if it’s just a silly comment, he ignores you. It’s as if the lecture is his only focus. In fact, he even chastises you one day.

“You should be paying attention to the lesson,” he tells you, after your attempt at a sly joke fails to resonate.

It startles you, but doesn’t upset you. If anything, it’s amusing. For whatever reason, over the time you’ve really known him, his attitude does nothing but amuse you. He probably expects it to be intimidating. Authoritative, even. He wants you to take him seriously. But you can’t. He’s too… cute.

You just smile a knowing smile and turn your attention back to the teacher.

~

The year goes on. Shino is much friendlier… or at least, his version of friendly. He doesn’t seem to brush you off as easily as he used to. It’s as if you’ve gained his trust. Although, that might be a reward for entertaining his bug affinity and asking him questions throughout your science class together. No matter how adverse he seems to conversation, if you ask about a bug, he’s more than happy to answer. In fact, you’ve never seen him talk as much as he does than when he’s telling you about insects.

It’s a little weird, but you like it.

Already convinced that Shino is the reason you were getting good marks in science, you had to persuade him into partnering with you on the big upcoming project. He didn’t seem very enthused at the prospect. As far as you knew, he preferred working alone. So you were surprised when he agreed.

You catch up to him as he walks home one day. “Shino!”

He seems off-put by the way you run up to him, but he turns to give you his attention, nonetheless.

“_______.”

“Are you busy? I thought we could work a little on our project now.”

He pauses. He’s mildly concerned that you’re becoming much too persistent. It’s a little annoying. Yet he can’t find it in him to ignore you. “It’s a Saturday.” Of course you can’t see his expression behind the glasses, but his tone lets on to the hesitance. “Don’t you have things to do?”

“Nope, not really. I would rather get started on the project. Besides, we’re both free.”

“I never said I was free.”

“Well. Are you?”

Another pause.

“Yes.”

“Well, good! Where should we go?”

Your enthusiasm visibly confuses him. Maybe you were coming on too fast. But you can’t help it. He’s being more compliant than usual and you have to take advantage of that.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“Your house maybe? If that’s okay? It’s close, isn’t it?”

He wants to ask how you know where he lives, but he’s too busy thinking about the proposal. He’s reluctant. His parents probably wouldn’t mind. They were always so busy with the family business. The house was probably empty anyway. Besides, you were just his lab partner. That’s it. Nothing wrong with a lab partner coming over to his empty house on a Saturday evening, right?

“Sure.”

And you two are on your way.

~

For a week, you see Shino every day after school to work on the project. You two work well together, for the most part. But his strange attitude has been puzzling you.

One day he’s open and comfortable; the next, he’s closing himself off. The routine is tiresome. His cold nature bothers you. Before, it never did. You didn’t even bat an eye at the demeanor because it was all you had ever known. But now, it’s upsetting. You had finally cracked his shell, only to be pushed away once again. What was going on? Had you done something to regress?

These little moments of confusion are remedied when he goes soft around you. It’s the little things. Asking if you’re hungry, offering to cook for you. Asking you about yourself, something he had never done in the years you had known him. It makes you happy, thinking that he might actually care. To see this side of him feels like a gift.

~

The routine becomes something you look forward to. Working on your project doesn’t sound so tedious as the days go by. All seems well, but there is one afternoon where his demeanor makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

He’s been quiet, almost too quiet. Every time you try to talk to him, he offers no reply. At most, a little grunt, one that suggests you not speak again. At first, you think he’s just busy concentrating. But then you realize he’s actually trying to ignore you.

This continues for a few days. Was something wrong?

You have to ask for your own sake. “Is everything okay, Shino?”

“Fine.”

But that’s not a normal response. If everything was fine, he might have asked a reason for the inquiry. That’s how he was, quick to question your curiosity if he thought it was unsolicited. So no, everything isn’t fine.

Was he upset with you? Was he annoyed? Perhaps with your worth ethic? Not that you slacked and left the workload to him, but Shino was a man who didn’t forgive ignorance. Especially when it came to his science and bugs. If you didn’t understand something, he would rather do it himself than take the time to explain. You had pointed out before how unproductive that was, but he didn’t seem to take you seriously. His arrogant undertone wasn’t new. But something was definitely off as of late. Whatever glow of potential friendship you had once felt is dwindling… and it hurts, in a way.

“You’re acting strange,” you point out to him, knowing it might be a little too bold.

“No I’m not.”

But he is. He most definitely is. You don’t think he’s even looked at you once since you came over that day.

“Is everything alright?” You keep pressing because it’s the only thing you know how to do with Shino.

“Fine.”

But it’s not.

“If you don’t want to work on the project today that’s fine with me.” You wonder if he’s tired. He worked so hard all the time. “We can just take a break. Are you hungry? We can—”

“If you don’t want to do any work then just say so. Just leave. I can do it on my own.”

You stare at him. The words were spoken with such bitter spite. It almost didn’t sound natural. “What?”

“I don’t have time to waste.” He writes something down on his lab report, seemingly unbothered by your confusion and fluster. “I’ll just finish this myself. I’ve done everything up to this point anyways.”

Now the confusion shifts into frustration. “I’ve tried to help, Shino.” Were you at fault if he prevented you from contributing? “But you act like I’m… stupid.”

“You’re not.” But there’s no reassurance or repentance in his voice. He still won’t even look at you.

“Then why can’t I help?”

“You obviously don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Okay, then teach me.”

“I don’t have time. It’s easier if I just do it on my own.”

“But then you complain that I’m not helping. You see how this isn’t working out, right?.”

Finally, he looks at you. Even behind the dark lenses of his glasses, you can feel his scrutinizing gaze. Not hateful, but not soft either.

It frustrates you more than it intimidates or disappoints you. All you’ve done up to this point is tolerate his attitude. Stayed out of his way when necessary because you know his personality can be assertive every bit as it can be reticent. What had you done to warrant this?

“Shino, we’re partners.” You surrender the anger that almost takes over your tone. “I want to help.”

“If you want to help, then just leave. I need to do it on my own. You can go home.”

You’re about to protest again, but the reality of the situation hits you. Maybe you were just a nuisance this entire time. Someone whose company he tolerated, not enjoyed. Had you been going about this the wrong way? Blinded by your own excitement? You hadn’t even stopped to consider whether or not he was as content as you were being ‘friends’.

You do as he says. You leave, with your heart hurting the whole way for some unknown reason.

~

He doesn’t talk to you at school the next day. You don’t say anything to him either, too scared to start conversation.

It saddens you to think you’ve ruined what was there—no matter how small it was. You thought you two were getting close. Closing the gap that kept you from friendship for so long. But maybe you had overestimated the relationship.

You try to think back on the whole thing. You two had conversations aside from the project. Fun conversations, at least to you. Conversations friends would have. He seemed to open up around you. Wasn’t aloof and quiet like he was with others. Hell, you even sat with him at lunch some days and saw how he interacted with his friends. It didn’t seem very different from how he was starting to treat you. You felt special. You felt happy.

So what went wrong?

Maybe it was too much for him. Maybe you came on too strong. Maybe he was only enduring you for your portion of the project. That seems logical enough. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lost a friend… which should make this easier, but it’s not.

You didn’t even know him that well. Why did it bother you so much? Why did you dread going to class and seeing him every day since it happened? You didn’t know. But the mix of guilt and anger was certainly taking its toll.

~

The first time he talks to you since the incident is the day before your project is due.

“Is there anything else you want to add to the project before tomorrow?” His voice is so dull and detached, it hardly sounds like a question. He’s not even looking at you.

Still, it’s a futile question. Why would he give you the courtesy when all he had done up until this point is criticize your participation? A sharp retort is caught on your tongue. You’re sure he would have one in response. But you were too emotionally drained to test that. You couldn’t fathom tarnishing your relationship with him any further—if it could even be called that at this point.

“No,” you tell him. “It’s whatever you decide.” You hope your tone isn’t as brash as it sounds in your head. He doesn’t seem to notice. Regardless, he still won’t look at you.

“Fine.”

Then class is over, and he leaves you sitting there. Confused, guilty… and yearning.

~

You get the highest mark possible on the project. You don’t thank Shino, though you wonder if he’s expecting gratitude. If he is, he doesn’t make it apparent. He doesn’t seem interested in speaking to you again for a long time.

You’ve learned to accept it. Something went wrong, obviously. What exactly, you don’t know. You stopped trying to guess. 

It hurts for a week or two. Fortifying your relationship with Shino had been encouraging. You looked forward to seeing him every day. It actually made school bearable. Now, it’s back to enduring. All while trying to ignore the tension between you two now.

He surprises you one day after class by asking if he can speak to you alone. You think about declining. Politely, of course. Politely as you can, given the bitterness that has gathered with your situation. But you somehow can’t deny him.

You two wait until the classroom is empty. Even behind his glasses, you can see his discomfort. His demeanor is stifled by hesitation.

It’s a long moment before he breaks the silence. “You’ve been very quiet in class.”

You stare blankly. You hadn’t expected that. Was he serious? Is that all he had to say?

“Well… yeah.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“Something wrong?” He couldn’t possibly be so oblivious. He was either repressing the friction he had caused or hoping you had forgotten about it already. Thin chance. “You mean besides the fact you brushed me off and didn’t talk to me for a month?” The spite comes through more than you intended it to, but it’s too late to stop now. “Of course there’s something wrong.”

“I didn’t brush you off.”

“Then what would you call it? You made me feel stupid. You didn’t have to be like that, Shino. All I wanted to do was help.”

His expression doesn’t seem to change. Nothing about him changes. You would have thought that such contentious words would instigate him, but no. He looks as if he’s studying you.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” is all he says.

You would consider it an apology, if his tone wasn’t so indifferent. It made you feel unimportant. Like a nuisance. Which was the reason your little dispute had been so hurtful in the first place. Why Shino’s opinion of you was so critical, you didn’t know. But that’s just how it was now. And although you want to be mad at him, to pour onto him the mix of resentful emotions that had amassed over the weeks, you can’t.

If you really think about it, you knew you were at fault too, for expecting too much out of him. Everyone knew Shino was not an easy guy to deal with. He never had been. It was foolhardy to assume that working on a project together would remedy that.

“I know I can be difficult,” you say. It damages your pride, but it’s true. “And maybe I wasn’t the best partner. I’m sorry. You just made me feel so… irrelevant. If you didn’t want to work with me, why did you agree in the first place?”

Shino thinks. He could argue and remind you that your persistence was what made you two partners. He hardly had any say in the matter. But your question still remains. Why had he agreed if he knew you would be a nuisance? You had always annoyed him a little. Most people did. But it was different with you.

When you left that day, after he snapped at you, he didn’t feel a sense of relief or accomplishment. Not like he normally did when he ridded himself of a distraction. 

He felt regret. 

Pride aside, he always had a difficult time admitting when he was wrong. He was so used to chastising others for their errors that he had forgotten how it felt to feel guilty about his harsh words. Regret wasn’t something he felt often. But now, it’s too bothersome to ignore.

“It’s… fine,” he says.

You look at him, unfamiliar with such a civil response. “What?”

He sighs inwardly. Giving up on his pride was a great defeat. “You don’t have to apologize.” It did make his own apology—if that’s what this was—a little easier, though. “If anything, I was the bad partner.”

He doesn’t sound insincere. He sounds like he really means it. It’s almost enough to make you smile a little. “Are you sure about that? That doesn’t sound like you.”

Even if he’s not, it seems like a shame to hold any anger toward you. It’s not your fault. How could you know you were subject to his confusing emotions as of late? He didn’t know how to feel about you. He never has. He knows now that’s what prompted him to treat you so coldly. A defense mechanism to combat whatever odd feelings of fondness he had felt for you over the past few years. But he couldn’t tell you that.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks evenly.

It’s such a silly, innocent question. It didn’t sound like a question Shino Aburame would ask. You want to say yes, because truthfully, somewhere you are mad at him. Mad at him for treating you so callously. For making you feel so strongly for him.

“No,” you finally concede with a sigh. “We just got off on the wrong foot.” Almost two years ago, you think to yourself. He’s quiet after that, as though he’s waiting for you to carry the conversation. Maybe to salvage the civility you two are desperately seeking. “Maybe next time we’ll have to fine different partners.”

“Maybe.” And that’s all he says. Ever the taciturn one.

You nod in place of vain conversation. The demeanor between you two isn’t entirely mended, but it’s much more comfortable now. It’s odd how so few words on Shino’s end can remedy your mood. You don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

“So… do you want to make it up to me?”

Behind his collar, he frowns. “What?”

“Do you want to make it up to me?” He probably can’t detect the teasing edge to your voice. And that’s fine. It’s more fun that way. “You can take me to eat. I’m starving.”

You’re met with silence. Obviously, the humor doesn’t reach him. 

“Why would I do that?” he asks, flat as ever. 

“It’s the end of the week. You don’t treat yourself to good food at the end of the week?”

“No. Not usually.”

His dull attitude makes you laugh. It always has. You’re just glad you can enjoy it again.

“That’s fine then,” you say, a smile on your lips. The wind is picking up outside. If you don’t get home soon, you’ll be caught in the rain. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You’re hurrying in the other direction by the time he replies. “Yeah. I’ll see you.”

~

That next week, Shino does make it up to you. He asks you out to dinner.

[lostlegendaerie]

Six Fics of 2016

someone. someone tagged me in this. multiple someones tagged me in this while my PC was broken as shit so fuck. i dont know but i Wanted This, so. originally by @secretlystephaniebrown​ !

So I thought I’d pick 6 fics of mine written during this year, grab a favorite quote from each of them, give a short explanation of why it’s one of my favorites, and then tag 6 people to do the same! Let’s get some self love rolling as we head towards the end of this year!

and yeah i did write other fandoms this year but its like mostly RvB and Entirely in space, so.

6. Save and Restore - York & Delta, canon compliant

“That’s a-- dirty word, D.” A light, airy chuckle follows; one he remembers following an exchange with Carolina years ago. It sounds so much younger than the rest of York’s words, and he realizes he may not have anything more recent. “Better-- clean it off.”

“I… beg your pardon?”

“Nah, it’s free.”

i mean im Mostly so fond of this one because it was how I met @agentyorkdakota​ my moon and stars, but i also really enjoyed just getting to play with language a lot with this? like i’m pretty sure i’ve discussed this before but for a senior year project i worked a lot on a play called The Skriker where the title character kind of... used mixed metaphors and all sorts of jumbled language to communicate and it just. stuck with me. this language that was kind of cobbled together and makes sense but doesn't and yet does? so that was def a highlight of mine working on this fic. (also it placed me in the Angst War, a feather in my cap if there ever was one)

5. blow you like a popsicle stand - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

He swallows his fear and creeping horror and lifts the lid. Buried under the crystalline ice of the remarkably still-functioning freezer is a collection of brightly colored little packages, all about the size of his hand.

“What.”

“I know!” Tucker replies, with exactly the kind of enthusiasm than ensures Wash he does not know, “I can’t believe it either. Ice cream! Here! On Chorus! Man, Caboose is gonna flip out when he sees this.”

Wash is tired, and adrenaline-tingly, and by this time he should just always expect to be betrayed and disappointed but here he is. He pulled a door out of a crumbling concrete wall for decades old ice cream sandwiches. Couldn’t save the lives of kids under his command, but sure. He can demolish a building in a fit of panic.

“What,” he repeats again, trying to shove all of his feelings into one ambiguous syllable. But Tucker just hip-checks him out of the way, flourishes his sword with a buzz of light, and carves a path through the ice to a red and blue package.

this one was done in a swap for @playerprophet​ (whom i also love and tag in this, there you go) and was just. okay. listen. l i s t e n. if i’m gonna write porn im gonna write specific porn. i’m gonna write mildly kinky porn with new shit y’all aint even knew you liked so someone can find me at a con and tell me to my face “oh yeah you wrote the iceplay fic” and i can be like “y e s” but also i can barely scrub the Feelings out of anything i write, so. SO. this was a pretty lighthearted excuse for Porn and it went over really, really well. so im Happy.

4. Golden Boy - York-centric, semi-canon compliant

Not that York can go back, now; not that there's anything left to go back to, with the entire project turning on itself in a disjointed, cumulative sort of cannibalism as every man, woman, or construct fights for themselves. And he’s not entirely blind to the fact that being wired to Delta on a neurological level makes the Director’s treatment of the AI feel infinitely more personal; makes it easier than it should have been to turn his guns on people he’d worked with for years. No. He’s not blind, not in that sense anyway.

But if he’s going forward, he wants to understand in full what he did in the name of science and progress.

this fic once shared a name with @littlefists​ ‘s epic because it was literally the first thing I wrote in the fandom and I Wasn’t Into Tuckington So I Didn’t Know, and i swear to GOD this is the last time i bring this up but i worked so fucking hard on it, it has Combat and Betrayal and Introspection and World Building and while i’ve gotta better grip on canon now I still really, really enjoyed this fic as an explanation for how York, of all people, could have gone so low in OOM

3. Overflow - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

His thoughts about Tucker have often felt like a glass of water that’s just a little too full. He moves carefully so they don’t slosh around and make a mess of the place, barely keeping it all inside . And he’d thought that, once the newness of the whole ‘ sure we’ll risk lying to the faces of UNSC police to keep you out of prison even though you’ve done next to nothing nice for us your entire life ’ gratitude thing wore off (it didn’t, not entirely, it still pops up sometimes in the worst of moments and chokes him like the noose he should have gotten) the level would go down.

[...]

Tucker does something to him. Tucker finds ways to make him forget, at least for a little while, all the ways he’s fucked up. Even if it’s just finding more tolerable faults, like how the stick Washington has got shoved up his ass does wonders for keeping his back straight. Tucker talks loud enough to drown out the ghosts of everyone he underranked but outlived, listens enough to make his hard-won experience and advice mean something, and he is terrified for the day that everything overflows.

this was birthday fic for @strangestquiet that i actually took a day off from work to ensure i completed it in time but just. anyway. i’m pretty proud of it because it’s Big and it’s Coherent Mission Fic that managed somehow to tie into a little bit of preexisting lore. i’m also unfortunately very fond of all the little OC children bc i’ve constantly had tons of trouble with original characters and even tho no one else seemed to notice them i had fun and i love them all. but just in general i feel like i had a good balance of humor and feelings and also imagery? but as far as the latter goes it falls short of...

2. gethsemane - implied Shepard/Vakarian, Archangel-centric, game-compliant

On his last trip out of the Citadel, tying off loose ends, he bought a pack of playing cards from a human vendor. He had memories - they’d been fond once, but were souring like milk left in the sun - of losing miserably to Shepard and Williams at some gambling game. Leaving gifts on the graves of the departed wasn’t exactly the norm for turian culture, but neither was it strictly a human one either.

The flowers around the small crystal pillar were already wilting with neglect when he arrived. There might have been other tributes left there, but security had loosened until it fell away, slack like discarded clothes. Garrus left the cards there, under the shimmering list of names of casualties from the attack on the Citadel, and took the next transport ship as far away from Widow as possible.

okay so like. whenever possible i love to put good imagery in fic and like. understate emotions when i can and just in general do the literary version of the color saturated wide shot, you feel me? like the pullback with the characters in silhouette but you can still understand everything they’re feeling? anyway i feel like this fic really nailed a lot of my own personal goals for just Vivid fics. can’t wait to write more mass effect fic but it’s gonna be Hard to meet the standards i set for myself with this one.

1. Throw Away the Key - York/Carolina, Alternate Universe

Carolina fights to find the best angle for her umbrella as gusts of wind swat rain at them in little bursts, but by the time her car gives a satisfying click they’re both uncomfortably wet and she’s run out of things to say. Thankfully, he hasn’t.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” York reflects as he withdraws the metal blade, inch by careful inch. “This is getting a little absurd. Like, bad soulmate romcom Hallmark movie levels of coincidence.”

“Not my fault if you keep breaking the law.” She’s a little surprised by the movie analogy, but decides against teasing him for his choice in films.

“I am bending it, at best.”

listen i’m fucking neck deep in all the complexities of longfic hell and this sure isn’t the artsy stylistic stuff that i can be proud of (or regret) later on down the road but i’m trying. i’m trying to write something massive and happy and so far it’s working. i can’t say for sure if it’s actually Good because i get to see all my messy drafts and stops and starts that the rest of you are spared, but I wanted so badly to write A Good Longfic for the Y/C fandom and with that, at least, I feel like I’m doing well. if nothing else, literally nothing else at all, i am proud of myself for trying this and i hope that it can continue to give people joy long after it’s done and i’m gone.

i’m gonna go ahead and tag @therewithasmile @sinelanguage @lady-of-rohan @flecksofpoppy @owaire and of course @playerprophet but if you’re reading this and wanna do it go right ahead!