#(not true I'm having fun but i hate not getting things right the first try)

[shutyourfacemonsterlover]

Overall thoughts and opinions on the most famous Phantom adaptations / most famous Eriks

Because these things are fun, i thought maybe it could be interesting for me to reunite my overall thoughts on the most popular adaptations, because everybody has opinions on them (and maybe my takes are super cold and vanilla). Still, it's fun!

I'm also gonna go with the most popular because there are like a million Phantom adaptations and I don't have the energy to rank them all. (i'm also mostly doing the ones that are series / shows / musicals- the books i would pretty much mostly mention the Leroux OG and Kay, and i'm already going somewhere with the second one). (Forgive me all Ken Hill / Song at Midnight / MazM fans)

-The 1925 silent film with Lon Chaney: I'm really biased, but I admit this is my favorite Phantom adaptation, even if i know as a film it's rather limited by the constraints of the era (bad acting, slow pacing, the weird whitewashing of the Persian etc etc). It downplays the tragic romantic elements of the story (Christine is very one-dimensional and seems more afraid of Erik than empathetic), and Erik is written a little too "generic evil villain", but there are elements to suggest that there's more to Erik than meets the eye, and why he's an engaging figure in the first place. Yeah, like most, i hate the ending, but it's saved by overall faithfulness to the novel (he's born deformed! he has a death's head! he has a life of tragedy! he loves Christine! you can't imagine the number of adaptations that don't get these simple things RIGHT), and the subtle moments Chaney adds to make his Erik more three dimensional (the moment in the Apollo's Lyre scene where he holds his mouth in pain lives in my head rent free) It has my favorite movie Erik, and that's all that matters to me. <3 8/10

-The 1943 film with Claude Rains: I always call this film "missed potential". It looks beautiful, it sounds beautiful, it has good quotes, I like the film delving more into Christine's character; but the Abbott and Costello comedy of the two Raouls is out of place, and the writing of Erique is kinda of a mess (and considering he's the most important character in POTO...YEAH a good adaptation depends a lot on his writing). You don't really understand what is his connection with Christine, and how his initial sympathetic scenes kinda clash with his more violent streak (he gets thrown acid in the first place because he kills a man pre-Phantom); making the character come off as a little inconsistent and not as sympathetic as he should be. This movie also started the "disfigured in an accident, no Persian" versions of Phantom that I feel kinda cheapen the story later on (a lifetime of tragedy is what shaped Erik, not "one bad day"). A real shame, because Rains carries an elegance to Erik that I think helps with the imagery of the character (a monster trying so much to be "human"). Hmm...6.5/10

-The 1962 with Herbert Lom. This one also changes a bit, and normally i'd be bitching and moaning about it, but i prefer the changes here to the Claude Rains version since they're more consistent in portraying Erik's character. You feel for his music being stolen, and want to see this artist have such a simple dream as seeing his creation come true. People don't like it erases his obsession with Christine, but i think here it works, since you can believe his passion for his art is what drives him. (Also, i think this movie is what started the trend of Phantom adaptations having another villain, which is something explored better in Phantom of the Paradise). It doesn't look as nice as the Claude Rains film, tho, and something in the acting stops it from going the most. 6/10

-Phantom of the Paradise: A BLAST. It changes a lot about the source material, but considering even the setting is different, everything works to its advantage. Winslow is the first Phantom that really delves well into the "tragic monster" element of the character, with even his violent tendencies being a consistent trait from the start of the story (he attacks Philbin for making an inoffensive comment about the Juicy Fruits). The imagery is distinctive, Swan is a very compelling villain, and the songs are fantastic. Winslow's sacrifice, like Lindsay Ellis said, is simply a progression from his acts in the novel (yes, I believe Erik would sacrifice himself to guarantee Christine's safety, post development). What only sucks is that I don't feel you buy Winslow's passion for Christine / Phoenix, and she comes off as inconsistent in her ambition and not as empathetic (still, she sings very nicely and I love that the actress resembles Mary Philbin (1925 Christine) at times). Also while the Faustian elements add to the movie, i'm not sure how they can relate to Erik's' character in general (not to mention the Dorian Gray element). Also the pacing in the last 10 minutes is rushed and kinda sucks. But still...As a movie? It's my favorite. 9/10

-The Maximilliam Schell 1983 made for TV film: My least favorite, and it all has to do with how slow and dull the pacing is, you just don't get the sense of dread or tragedy. The reincarnated wife subplot is really random, and it makes Sandor pathetic and delusional instead of empathetic and tragic. And i'll take bad over boring any day of the week. 2/10

-ALW's musical (add here the 25th version too): Oh ho ho, the one piece of media that got us all into Phantom I think. It's a big, bombastic musical, and you can see the appeal. While i don't like some characters are turned more one-dimensional (Raoul, Christine); I do like how it pushes forward Erik's trauma, and how it has broken him; he's not a good man, no, but not a monster, either. And this idea that abuse victims can turn cruel as well...But, you know, they still deserve love. Perhaps they always did! And the focus on the romance which puritans complain about...Boy you will not be ready to hear me when i tell you the original novel implies Christine is indeed into both Raoul and Erik, for different reasons lol. I dont like the omission of the Persian, but I like that this cements that again, Erik wasn't a rando who one day snapped, it was a life of tragedy that turned him into what he is....We can dislike it, we can like it, but we can admit it has influenced our perception of the story in more ways than one. 8/10.

-The 1988 cartoon: The most faithful adaptation of the novel is also the cheapest movie of the bunch. Whew lads...Tho I do like Erik's character. He's got the redemption, the deformity, the sense of humor (when i read Erik i often headcanon him having this Erik's voice). I also like Christine, she's not written as a bland damsel, she shows a bit of an attitude. And hey, rare Persian appearance! I even like the ending, with the cast showing compassion towards Erik's misfortune. It's just that the technical limitations of the movie avoid the film from reaching high status. 6.5/10

-1989 with Robert Englund: An unpopular opinion, but I love this film. It's strange in that it's both very faithful to the novel, adapting the gothic horror of the elements, but it changes way too much Erik's character (the crux of the story) into somebody who isn't really tragic or sympathetic. A musician who sells his soul to the devil (an element it took from Phantom of the Paradise...I have the theory that Phantom adaptations take elements from each other more than from the novel) and gains immortality...and kills people for no reason??? Normally, in another adaptation, I would dislike a lot this change, but Englund's interpretation turns the character into more layers than simply a psychopathic asshole. He gets the "allure" and horror of Erik, which is a big part of the character. I feel with a more book accurate backstory, and impulse more the angle of "doomed dark lover" with Christine (yes his love is also...downplayed), this would easily be one of the more popular Eriks. Yeah it steals a lot from Nightmare on Elm Street, but there's an interesting movie in here, amidst the music and the beautiful cinematography...8/10.

-The 1990 miniseries with Charles Dance: Cherik! The phandom darling! This one is strange since i feel it diverges from the novel as much as the Robert Englund version, yet it's one of the most beloved adaptations. It offers an interesting interpretation of Erik, he's not as cruel, but the movie delves more into the aspect of him being a doomed romantic lover. He's not as manipulative to his Christine (i'd argue this is one version of the story where they should've gotten together imo), and has a gentler approach to life. The series takes the element of the book of him having arrested development and runs with it. Still tho, the gentler approach kinda cuts the tragedy of the character; what with loving parents and all being something Erik DIDNT have growing up. The appearance of the father is what dulls the film, and makes Erik come off as more dependent and childish. Still, Charles Dance gives his Erik a quiet dignity, that avoids the character falling into a manchild interpretation. 7/10 (not bad, just that i like my Eriks more lonely and threatening)

-The 1998 film of Dario Argento: Y'all owe Gerard Butler an apology, lol. This is the ONE truly shit adaptation of Phantom, lol. It feels like a fever dream. It's more gross than scary, it's not tragic, it's not romantic, Erik is not in any way sympathetic or complex or alluring...Like the fuck lol. 3/10 (and that 3 is because it makes me laugh...)

-Wishbone "Pantin' at the Opera" episode: Eh, "Phantom for kids", not a interpretation of the story I like, but it's accurate to the novel, which makes it stand out. And it gives Erik a rare happy ending! Tho, as expected since it's for kids, it downplays a lot of the more complex themes. Still...gotta praise the accuracy. 5/10

-2004 with Gerard Butler: I don't think it's as bad as the phandom made it out for years. It could be better, but i think the technical details and the bad makeup are what drag the film down, since it doesn't diverge massively from the story or themes (except the weird grooming thing...ew). This Erik is interesting in that much like Cherik, he grew up inside the Opera House, and it's an unique view of the character, that he's got arrested development due to never leaving his own "house" growing up (a bit of a plot hole then how he learned magic, engineering, architecture, etc etc, but eeeeh). He's also more vulnerable and emotional compared to the stage counterpart, who seems more self assured and angry. It's not horrible, just average, and could be better. 6.5/10

-The cartoon episode of the Triplets with Phantom (aired in the 2000s-something): Phantom for kids again. it's not an interpretation of the story in general that i like (too fluffy for my liking), but this episode gets the points of the story; Christine's complex feelings and Erik's redemption, while still keeping his initial wickedness (he even gets a sorta happy ending! my boy!). also it's funny at times, so there's that. 6/10

-Love Never Dies: This is...frustrating. I'm of the unpopular opinion that a sequel focused on Erik can work, but I feel his story with Christine is over, and dragging it back again just places the characters in square one, their development null. As an original story, it can be a potential good drama, but with these established characters, a lot of the emotions feel forced and manufactured. 5/10

So overall...My favorite versions of Erik and the story are...the musical and Chaney? And Paradise and Robert Englund for the wild out there versions. But there's always something missing, i can't always point to one and go "THAT is the definitive Erik". Erik is a very complex character, made of light and shadows, and the movies never reflect that.

I don't think most of these movies are good, we like them because they're Phantom content, but still, it's interesting to observe how this story has changed reflecting the interests of society at the time being. Before, we wanted this cruel monster punished...Then we turned him into an 80s slasher...And now in the monster fucker era we see him as a potential romantic lead...Huh.

[angelltheninth]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do The Hazbin Cast x Reader, where they and Reader are having a romantic moment to themselves, and before anything more could happen, suddenly something or someone ruins the moment?

See... I both hate and love this trope. It's funny as hell, but frustrating as hell too.

Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Adam, Vox, Valentino x Reader

Tags: fluff, kissing, interrupted romantic moment, canon typical violence, blood, suggestive, date night

A/N: I would punch anyone who interrupts me. And I'm not a violent person. So uh... these characters have an effect on me lmao.

Charlie acts very calm unless either or both of you is in any state of undress. There’s no one more affectionate than her, displaying that in front of others is fine with her, she wants others to know of her love for you. It’s a different thing if it’s in a more intimate setting where she expected to have alone time with you. With a deep breath, some blushing and a groan she would try to get rid of distractions as soon as possible but at the same time. she would apologize to whoever interrupted you for shooing them away.

Vaggie has a blade at hand and it is promptly thrown next to the head of whoever interrupted you. Deep down she is a huge romantic and enjoys being romanced a lot, on the surface she is a badass fighter and she had an image to uphold with many people. There’s a lot of yelling and cursing, probably more than one threat of killing someone before she is back by your side, grumbling and murmuring to herself about forgetting to lock the damn door.

Alastor threatens to tear apart anyone who interrupts you, he puts that out as a warning because of how many times it’s happened in the past and he’s grown tired of being in a middle of a dance or cuddling and someone barging in wanting something. Usually he’s the one who walks in without knocking, now he’s getting to see how it feels. It doesn’t feel good, a full record scratch, even his shadow looks pissed off at even the slightest interruption.

Lucifer is in good spirits recently so even something as an interrupted date doesn’t get under his skin, if it was before it would have been a different story. Right now wile a little annoyed he can forgive and forget, after all no one saw anything too scandalous, although some would say that seeing the King of Hell in handcuffs is pretty scandalous by itself. As long as this doesn’t happen again it will be fine, although he knows you will tease him for it later.

Angel Dust obviously doesn’t mind it too much, on the surface at least, he is a porn star so getting watched is part of the job. That’s in the studio at least, at the Hotel he has the privacy he never had before, he likes it a lot actually, it’s almost too good to be true. Maybe he will occasionally flirt with or tease who ever interrupted you but in these four walls he is all yours and he won’t let the mood be spoiled by anyone, including his boss.

Husk groans and pulls your face close to his neck to help you hide your flushed face from the onlooker. How is this so perfectly timed, right when he wanted to take your clothes off and have a bit of fun with you someone just had to walk in. Well they’re really lucky he’s not as powerful as he once was otherwise they would be splattered all over the walls right now and would have to put themselves together while he makes out with you.

Sir Pentious hides his face behind his hat the moment someone enters his bedroom and sees you on top of him. Damn it, he told his Egg Boiz to make sure no one enters his bedroom, which also applies to them, until one of you steps out first, no matter what noises are heard from inside. As soon as you’re done and you think you’re gonna sleep he slithers out and starts working on plans for a new machine to make sure no one interrupts you ever again: a doorbell with a laser.

Adam yells at the person who interrupted the two of you because damn he’s been waiting the whole day to have you all to himself, all moody and pent up. This is his time with you, which means that no one gets to tell him he’s needed elsewhere before he’s done with you. He wraps you up with his wings if he sees you’re getting embaressed but really now, considering everything you do together getting watched shouldn’t be an issue.

Vox flinches when he gets a ping that someone’s crossed in front of his cameras which he set up just so no one catches the two of you in a compromising position. He sighs as he pulls away and covers you with a blanket, hiding your body from anyone’s view but his, which is funny because he has an insight into almost everyone else’s love life. For a demon like that he wants to keep his own affairs fairly private, at least the bedroom kind.

Valentino grins at the person who walks in on the two of you, he has zero shame regardless of your own level of shame he will brag about everything that happens and if someone sees it then even better. Besides he is the Overlord of the the porn industry, you knew things like this could happen when you began your relationship with him. He is so comfortable in fact that he will just keep going, kissing you occasionally to tell you that you’re doing a good job in front of a crowd.

[husbandhoshi]

[9:47 AM] *suggestive

the first thing you learn about seungcheol is that his towels are embroidered. csc, they read, in gold thread on absurdly plush bath towels.

(actually, the first thing you learned about him was that he's a good kisser. you learned this the hard way, outside the bar, after all your friends had gone home and it just was you, him, and his tongue in your mouth.)

as a rule, you try not to learn anything about your late night escapades, but, evidently, you have already failed.

it's easy to notice his bathroom looks much bigger than it did last night, now that all the lights are on. he has not one, but two, matching rugs, and the sconce lights make the marble countertop look like it's made of water. nestled in the corner is a little tray with all his cologne lined up end to end—armani, dior, chanel.

you pick up the silvery one on the end and smell the cap. (yes, this one. he was wearing this one last night, right in the space where his collarbone met the base of his neck. you had kissed him there, and he had asked you to go home with him. creed, aventus, it says.)

he even has the drunk elephant moisturizer, although it looks criminally underused. it sits among a small pile of skincare that looks like it costs twice your monthly paycheck, if you had worked overtime.

you have to remind yourself you're not here to snoop through rich people's bathrooms, as fun as that sounds.

seungcheol was a quick fuck (and a really good one at that), but you already feel like you've overstayed your welcome.

the plan—in and out. you hate the sticky, too-warm goodbyes, the small talk at the kitchen table, the unexpected rattle of a roommate coming home. worst of all, they never want you as badly in the morning as they did the night before.

but the plan has already gone to shit. you woke up practically spooning him and your little bathroom detour cost you ten minutes. and it's almost 10, which is what he has his two-hundred dollar alarm clock set to.

you shut the bathroom door as quietly as you can, hoping to make a quick getaway. but it's here, caught in the waxy overcast from the huge windows, where, for the first time in your life, you almost want to say fuck the plan.

"morning," seungcheol hums, propping himself up on the bed. you take one look at him, shirtless and sweats slung low, and you lose the plot entirely.

yesterday, when you had met, it looked like he was made in some kind of factory for hot men—starched white shirt rolled to the forearms, hair perfectly gelled, and a fat breitling watch hugging his wrist. and yet, as you watch him blow a cowlick out of his eyes, he seems even more attractive, which you would have never thought possible.

"someone's eager to get outta here," he says, enjoying the way you avoid his eyes. "don't tell me it was that bad for you."

you smile nervously. what you can remember about last night is that it was anything but bad. the whole thing makes your face feel hot—you are no prude, but he sure makes you feel like one.

"is that what it looks like?" you answer. you realize you can't find your shoes. you think he threw them somewhere last night, between the memory of his hand up your dress and yours in his hair. he kissed his way up your legs and you forgot you even had shoes to worry about.

"almost, if you weren't checking me out just now."

damn. guilty as charged. you can't help it. things feel too good to be true.

first, you learned you got fucked by a million dollar dick last night. now, instead of kicking you out like any other one night stand, he's acting decent, maybe even more than decent. and he has the tits of a god.

seungcheol sees your face wrench up in puritanical shame and he laughs.

"well, if you have time in your busy, busy schedule," he starts, with a grin that makes you dizzy. "i'm making breakfast. and i would love to eat it with you."

suddenly you don't know why you ever had a plan in the first place. you watch him attempt to wink at you from all the way across the room and you think getting to know him might not be such a bad thing after all. maybe things are too good to be true, but you're willing to find out.

needless to say, the second thing you learn about seungcheol is that he cannot cook.

the third? he's an even better kisser sober.

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker - Pt 4

max Verstappen x single mom!reader (with logan sargeant)

{masterlist}{prev} {next}

warnings: cursing, minimally proofread, masturbation (m), lando gives wisdom Summary: Max has it all...right? Besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. Until... You moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles. word count: 5682 auth.note: logan girlies frighten me but i love y'all :) spotify: i made a playlist

The alarm started ringing and Max sighed, reaching over to turn it off. It wasn't as though he was asleep. Sitting up on the side of the bed he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, groaning when Jimmy gave a sleepy mew and jumped off the bed. "Ja, early morning," he sighed, switching on the lamp and getting to his feet. His cat didn't care, already slipping from the bedroom with his tail high. Sassy glared at him from the foot of the bed and he sighed again, grabbing his phone and turning off the lamp.

He grabbed jeans and a white t-shirt to put on before leaving the room, wondering again why he'd agreed to do this. It was stupid. No one cared what a day in his life was like, he was sure of that, no matter how many comments y/n had shown him on Checo's video asking when they'd get one of him. But it was too late to back out now—

His phone screen lit up and he stood in the bathroom, staring at her message.

-Good morning, I'll be there in ten minutes.

Crisp and professional. Just as it was supposed to be. Just as she had been for a week. When he'd messaged her the day before to bring Kevin over for another Disney movie she'd said yes, and had sat as far from him as physically possible while still being in the same room.

-I'll be ready. I'm up. Ok.

Eight minutes later she was at the door, looking maddeningly well-rested and relaxed and he didn't know why but that only annoyed him even more. He took the camera bag from her, noticing she was wearing baggy pants and an oversized sweatshirt instead of the usual jeans and Red Bull team shirt.

"I'll change before we go to the track," she told him.

He hated that the first few moments he was around her now were a little awkward. "What do you want to get first?" he asked, reaching up to smooth his hair and freezing when she moved to stop him. "What?"

"A day in the life, Max. Let your hair be messy. And you said you have coffee first thing right? So we'll do that – I've got the list you made." She took a sip from the to-go cup in her hand and he smelled coffee. "Kevin said to tell you good morning, have a great practice, and he had fun yesterday."

"I did too," he said. It was the truth. They'd watched a movie, and when that was over y/n had still been working on her laptop so he'd given Kevin a tour of his game room, letting him see and hold his trophies and helmets and even giving him a couple laps in his racing sim. She'd joined them, and for a little while it had been comfortable and easygoing, with her teasing him about his fridge of Red Bull within reach and having so many trophies he was running out of room to put them. He'd been about to suggest dinner, the words on the tip of his tongue, when she'd said it was time for them to get going.

She had the camera out, and so he started his day, answering her questions about trying to keep to a routine. The sun was coming up and she joined him on the balcony, asking about daily habits that stuck with him from childhood. He drank his coffee, watching out the corner of his eye as Sassy, his antisocial cat, jumped up into her lap and settled in for a cuddle.

"She's sweet," y/n said, and though there was a gap of at least six feet between them he could hear the cat's purring.

He made a face. "She hates being held."

Y/n looked at him, then down at Sassy. "Is that true?" she asked softly, running one hand over Sassy's fur.

As though intent on making him a liar, Sassy let out a squeaking purr and stretched, headbutting y/n's chin. Max scoffed, finishing his coffee. "She usually hates being held."

"Maybe you just don't know how to hold her properly," she said, turning her attention fully on the cat.

"I hold her just like I hold Jimmy," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"But you're not Jimmy, are you, darling?" she cooed, rubbing Sassy behind the ears and kissing the top of her head.

Max waited, knowing how much Sassy hated that sort of attention. And, traitor that she was, Sassy leaned into the touch, purring almost ecstatically. "You're making me look bad."

Y/n snorted, lavishing Sassy with affection for a few more moments. She set the cat down and stood, and the cat stayed close to her throughout the rest of the morning, calling and winding between her ankles as she got shots and video of Max doing his morning stretching.

"You do this every morning?" she asked, and Max exhaled with a nod while she got on her hands and knees next to him.

"It keeps me focused," he said after leaning on his knees. "Plus this is just a warmup. I'll do training with Rupert before lunch."

"Strength and cardio, right?"

"Will you be doing that with me too?" he asked, resuming his plank.

"Only if I'll get tequila at the end of the day like I did last week."

He chuckled. "I can do a gin and tonic."

"I've never had one of those," she said, trying the plank again.

"You have to lift your hips up a bit more," he pointed out. "And keep your back straight."

She tried again and he pushed himself back, turning to kneel next to her. His hands were on her hips, guiding them up, one hand moving to rest on her back, before he realized what he was doing. Hearing her shaky breath he paused.

"Sorry—"

"No, you're fine, I want to do it. Or at least be able to say I tried."

He nodded, adjusting her form, somehow able to focus on the exercise and not the sudden fantasies that were flashing in his mind. Swallowing hard, he wondered if they'd start invading his daily life and not just his dreams now. "Keep your head down, otherwise you might strain your neck."

"How long do I hold it?"

"It's your first time?" he asked, finally moving his hands from her.

"Doing a plank or having a guy manhandle me?" she huffed.

"Y/n—"

"Sorry, haven't had all my coffee. Yes, it's my first time."

"Then as long as you can."

"How long do you hold them?"

"Two minutes usually."

"Fucking showoff," she muttered, stretching out her arms and relaxing completely.

"I've been doing them for years," he chuckled. "C'mon, time for breakfast."

He was glad she ate with him, glad he'd picked up a few things from the shop the evening before that he'd remembered she liked. It seemed so normal, chatting with her while he cooked, Jimmy by his feet and Sassy by hers. But it made him homesick, nostalgic for something he'd never had.

"I only cook when I'm home," he said. "During preseason I have my meals prepped for me to get me back on track – turn on the kettle?"

She reached over to switch it on. "If you could have anything for breakfast without worrying about training or meal plans, what would it be?"

"This is where I say a cold Red Bull," he joked. When she rolled her eyes and laughed, he grinned. "Waffles. A stack this high." He held his hand several inches above the plate by the cooktop. "With bacon, the kind you can only get in America. And a large glass of milk."

"Butter and maple syrup?" she asked.

"Lots of butter, and the good maple syrup." Looking at the eggs on toast he was plating, he sighed. "I'll have it during our summer break."

"Two weeks off, right? Do you already have plans?"

"Last year I went to South America. I think this year I'll go home, yeah? Spend some time with my mum." Seeing that she was already fixing their tea, he carried the plates to the table and then fed Jimmy and Sassy. "What about you?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm hoping to get to go home for a few days." She handed him a cup of tea and sat down. "My family usually gets a cottage at the beach for a couple weeks in the summer, and the break starts the second week they're going this year. Kevin misses his Nana, so I've got to get him back for a visit."

"You're close to your mum?" he asked once they'd started eating.

"Pretty close. We had a falling out when I graduated high school. She wanted me to stay near home and go to the local college, but I wanted to go to a school that had a good program. That led to a fight, especially when I was accepted and announced I was going halfway across the country…" She sipped her tea. "Then I graduated and came back home and… It was weird for a little while? But we both apologized and then Kevin came along, and well. She would have forgiven anything, I think, to be able to be in his life."

He nodded, understanding what that was like. Hadn't he done the same with his father? "Can I—" he stopped when her phone buzzed loudly on the table.

Y/n picked it up with a murmured apology, smiling slightly at the screen before answering. "Hey…"

Max's toast turned to cardboard in his mouth when he saw the name on the screen.

"Yeah, I'm at Max's. Day in the life thing. Yeah." She laughed.

He forced the last of his food down his throat and drank his tasteless tea, carrying his dishes to the sink while she talked to Logan.

"No, Ellie's bringing him. Probably around noon?" She paused and he knew she was smiling even though his back was to her. "You're sweet. I'll see you in a little bit? Yep. Okay, I promise. Bye."

"All good?" he asked, forcing himself to sound as casual as possible. Taking her plate when she brought it to the sink, he saw she was still smiling.

"Yeah, it was Logan. He wanted me to bring Kevin to the track. I'll do the dishes since you cooked," she insisted, waving him away.

He stepped aside, opening his mouth to point out the dishwasher but, knowing she would just wash them by hand anyway, he closed it. Leaning against the counter, he folded his arms over his chest. "How was your dinner with him last week?"

She looked at him in surprise. "It was nice."

He nodded. "About—" The timer he'd set on his phone went off and wanted to send his phone through the window. Snatching it up, he silenced it and ran a hand over his face. "I've got to shower, then we can head to the track."

"Sure thing." She tipped her head. "Alright if I change in your room while you shower?"

"Of course." He pushed away from the counter. "No photos of my closet."

She laughed at that, and he felt the awkwardness drift away. "No photos of the closet, promise. But I can get one of the Red Bull pillow on the bed?"

"Absolutely not," he snorted, her laugh following him from the kitchen. He went to the foyer to check his backpack, making sure all his necessities for the day were packed in it. Leaving his phone beside it, he thought about the upcoming practice, mind on the adjustments made in anticipation of the race. He pushed open his bedroom door so he could grab clothes, lurching to a stop at the sight of the nearly nude woman by his bed.

Y/n whirled around, one arm crossing over her bare chest, eyes wide.

"S-sorry," he blurted, quickly looking away even though it was too late for that. "Just need to grab something."

She turned her back to him, and he saw her hand shoot out to snatch her hoodie off the bed, holding it to her. "I thought you were showering."

"I had to get my things ready," he explained, wondering why he felt the need to defend his movements in his own home. "I thought you were washing dishes."

"It was a skillet, two forks, two plates, two mugs, and a spatula. Hardly a big job."

He quickly grabbed clothes, muttering a few more apologies. About to leave, he saw her turning to look over her shoulder and felt his knees weaken. His hip slammed into the corner of the bureau and he winced, cursing, snatching his gaze from her bare skin and leaving the room as quickly as he could, making sure to close the door behind him.

"Fuck me," he groaned, nearly tripping over Sassy, who was of course waiting right outside the door. Stepping around her, he went straight to the bathroom, trying with all his might to focus his mind on practice. The car. The track. Anything but her, because if he let himself think of her he would only think of how badly he'd wanted to—

No. Not allowed. He couldn't kiss her, he damn sure couldn't lay her down in his bed and learn all the secrets of her body. Couldn't find out how her lips tasted, whether she preferred to be held gently or grabbed roughly. Would never learn if she moaned and gasped or whined and squealed. Could never have the taste of her on his tongue or know how wet she could get.

His body craved her like water and he felt nothing but intense desire as he stood under the showerhead, not even trying to deflect his arousal. Giving in, he set the soap down and grasped his cock. He closed his eyes, letting the fantasies run wild. His hand was a sad substitute for what he truly craved. His mind replayed the split second view of her breasts he'd gotten over and over and he was almost ashamed of how quickly he came, gritting his teeth to keep from moaning loudly while his cum splashed on the tile.

Panting, still craving her, he washed himself, trying and failing to push thoughts of her to the back of his mind. Mad at himself for not being in control of his own body, he dried off and dressed, realizing he was taking more concern with his appearance than usual when he smoothed the pomade Charles had given him months ago through his hair. Cursing, he ran a comb through it, scowling at his reflection as he sprayed cologne. "Stupid," he muttered, pulling his shirt on and snatching the bathroom door open.

"No team shirt? I thought you weren't allowed to wear anything else," she teased when he entered the living room.

He looked down at the white tee, unconsciously smoothing it. "I don't live in team clothes," he muttered. He finally looked at her, clenching his jaw to stop his eyes from dipping to her chest.

She'd put on a bra. Pity.

"It looks good. Jeans and a white t-shirt are classic. Very James Dean."

"Who?" Was that some other idiot asshole talking to her? He knew about Logan—

"Actor from the 50's. According to my grandma, all the women wanted him and all the men wanted to be him." She smiled as she zipped up her camera bag. "I watched his movies. If I'd been alive back then I'd have wanted him, too. Ready?"

He nodded, grabbing a jacket. Said goodbye to the cats and watched her get more affection from Sassy in thirty seconds than he had in all the time he'd owned her. Another fantasy formed, and he wondered what it said of him that he was imagining her in his bed. Instead of a sexual slant, the fantasy was her cuddling his cats. Not used to the warmth it filled him with, he let the fantasy play out while they gathered their things, liking the mental image of Kevin and a faceless little girl joining them for morning snuggles.

The elevator ride was interminable, cramped, and he tried to remember what normalcy was while he breathed in perfume and shampoo and pretended she wasn't touching him.

"Are you wearing cologne?"

"A little." The doors open and he breathed clean air with utter relief. Did she like it? Did it bother her? Had he put too much? Should he—

"Smells nice," she murmured as she stepped into the lobby.

Max exhaled harshly, letting his head fall back against the wall, glancing up at the ceiling. "You've got a terrible sense of humor," he muttered to whatever gods might be listening.

"Did you say something?" Y/n asked.

"No," he lied, pushing away from the wall and exiting the elevator. "Just thinking about practice."

She asked him more questions, about the track, if he considered it at least a little his home track since he lived there. Nodded and listened to his answers as they walked to the dock. And it was all almost normal on the boat ride over, her filming clips to post later and getting photos. Then more normal once they stepped onto the trackside dock, surrounded by people now.

Once they reached the paddock she touched his arm to get his attention, not that she really needed to.

"I'll meet you at the garage? I'm gonna run see Kevin for a minute," she said.

"Of course." He reached for her camera bag and backpack. "You can bring him back for a visit—"

"Mama!"

He swung his head around, smiling at the sight of Kevin through the crowd. His expression soured when he saw who was carrying him, but he managed to keep the smile on his face as Logan walked up, greeting him with a nod.

God, he hated this. Hated the way she smiled up at Logan, hated their easy, familiar conversation while he handed Kevin over and told her Ellie had stopped to chat with Oscar. He hated that he hated it and cleared his throat. "See you in a bit, I've got to meet with Christian."

She nodded, and he made sure to speak to Kevin before walking off. Barely two seconds later Lando fell into step next to him.

"Aw, look at 'em. Like a family, yeah?"

Max had nothing but respect and admiration for Lando, but he would have gladly shoved him off the dock if they'd been close enough. "Who?"

"Your social media girl and Logan." Lando grinned, glancing back. "Should've seen her kid like thirty minutes ago. He worships Logan."

"Of course he does, the guy has the mindset of a three-year-old," Max muttered.

Lando exploded with laughter. "The fuck?" He followed Max into the Red Bull motorhome. "Is that jealousy I hear?"

"No."

"Ah c'mon, it's me. Your buddy. Your mate."

"Don't you have things to do?" Max muttered, waving to people milling about as he made his way to his driver's room.

Lando was close on his heels, and the door hadn't fully closed before he started in again. "So you like her?"

He set her bags down and shrugged off his backpack. "Who?"

"Y/n."

"She's my colleague."

"Colleague. You sound like a pretentious dickhead." Lando dropped into a chair and shoved his feet on the corner of the table. "Tell Lando about it, mate. I'm your friend, I won't judge you, just give you advice."

"I don't need your advice," he snorted, kicking Lando's feet down.

"But it's good advice!"

He groaned. "What is it?"

"First you need to tell me the problem." Lando leaned forward, looking far too excited. "You're down bad for her, aren't you?"

Max stared at him, unblinking.

"She gets you all fired up? Got you picturing her doing nasty, freaky things with you? Leaves you bricked and fighting for your life?"

"Jesus," he muttered, looking away.

"Oh, you're desperate," Lando said.

"I am not desperate," he scoffed.

"You're all dressed up. Isn't today when she spends the whole day with you?"

"I'm not dressed up." He wasn't sure what was worse, how he was feeling or hearing Lando describe them in his ridiculous way. "And yes, for the day in the life."

"You did something to your hair, you're wearing your pussy magnet cologne, and you're not wearing Red Bull." Lando ticked off his fingers. "You. Are. Desperate."

"And what if I am?" he asked.

"Mate… Just fuck her and get it over with it."

He laughed. "Life changing advice, mate, I never thought of that."

"See? I'm good—"

"I can't."

Lando's face twisted in confusion. "What do you mean, you can't?" His eyes widened. "Are you – You know you can get medicine for that? No shame in it nowadays. Happens to a lot of guys. Not me, but—"

"What the hell—" Max groaned, throwing a Red Bull at his friend. "I'm not impotent, asshole."

"Oh. Good, because really I'd be worried. You're not that old—" Lando sent the can back. "So why can't you? Because of Logan? They're not official. Just a few dates. He went to see her at her place, but I think they're just friends."

"How do you know all this?" Max asked, checking the time.

"He tells Osc everything and I have a knack for finding out by asking leading questions."

"You mean you're nosy."

Lando waved one hand. "Yes."

"It's not because of him," he finally said after opening a can and taking a swig.

"Then…" Lando threw up his hands and let them fall dramatically. "Why aren't you putting kids in her?"

Max almost choked on his drink. "Mate—"

"She's a fucking milf—"

"Don't say that—" Max held up a hand. "Stop. I can't."

"Again, why?" Lando gasped. "Mate," he whispered. "Did you try and she turned you down?"

"No, she didn't – I – we work together." He rolled his eyes when Lando snorted. "It's in the contracts, mate."

"You're joking."

"Do you want to see a copy?" he finished the drink and crumpled the can.

"No, I mean, you can't be serious? That kind of stuff is only for doing shit in public." Lando shook his head. "It's an easy workaround. Just do it in private."

"What, like I'm ashamed?"

"No, no, c'mon! Stolen looks? Carefully brushing her hand when you're walking together? Sending her a filthy text before an interview? Then as soon as you're back home you bend her over and fuck—"

"Stop."

"It'll be your dirty little secret. You'd have to make sure the kid doesn't notice but as long as you keep it to hotel rooms and when he's asleep that wouldn't be a problem." Lando smiled, expression smug, as though he'd just solved all the world's problems. "As long as you don't say in an interview that you're fucking her, you're good."

"You're insane," Max muttered with a shake of his head. "I can't—"

There was a knock on his door. "Mister Max!"

He was opening it in an instant, grunting when Kevin ran into him. Y/n was behind him, gently chastising him for being so impatient, and Max waved off her concern, catching the boy and lifting him up for a hug. "You having a good day, kleine maat?"

"Yeah! I got my scooter! Can we ride?" Kevin asked hopefully.

"Of course we can." He met y/n's eyes over the boy's head. "Just a little ways down the track?"

She looked ready to say no, but finally nodded. "I've got to get some posts up. Ellie's getting a migraine so she'll probably want to leave soon—"

"Well then we can have fun without her, can't we mate?" he asked Kevin, who giggled. Ruffling his hair, he set him down and looked at her. "Go ahead and do your work, yeah? I'll keep an eye on him."

Her eyes softened and he knew she wanted to insist he didn't have to. That Kevin could go back to the hotel with Ellie. But she smiled. "Thank you."

"Let's go get your scooter, mate," Lando said suddenly.

"Stay with Lando, yeah?" Max told Kevin, looking at his friend. "Don't let go of him."

"He's such a dad," Lando sighed to the boy, taking his hand and leading him from the room. "Does he tell you to eat your vegetables?"

It's not contagious. Just her migraines are bad right now. I think it's the change in environment. She's not used to the English weather.

She's going to a doctor tomorrow?

Yeah but I don't think they'll have a miracle cure.

Just bring him, y/n. The whole team loves him. We can keep an eye on him when you have to work, and he can stay in the motorhome when it's busy.

Christian said the same thing.

Sometimes he's smart.

You're terrible. Okay, I'll bring him.

Good. Tell Ellie I hope she gets some relief. Is she getting rest?

She just went to bed even though it's only 7. She took a pill that doesn't help the pain but helps her sleep.

She'll be okay, y/n. They'll have something to help her.

Thanks, Max. See you in Montreal.

Safe travels, y/n. Give little mate a hug for me?

Every day. :)

Y/n smiled over the messages and then returned to the messages with Christian. After telling him she would have Kevin with her for the Montreal and getting his assurance that it was okay, she locked her phone, sighing. "Well, buddy, looks like you're coming to Canada."

Kevin looked up from the hot wheels he was lining up on the rug. "Really?"

"Yep. But Mama's gonna be working a lot so we'll be at the track all the time." She hoped this wasn't a mistake. There were countless ways he could get hurt. "You'll have to stay where I tell you."

Kevin nodded. "Okay Mama." He rubbed his nose. "Is Mister Logan coming?"

The duality of child, she thought with another sigh. "Yeah, he'll be here soon. Remember to keep it down, though. Ellie's sleeping." She got to her feet and stepped over his cars so she could get the popcorn ready. "Can you get the movie ready?"

"He said Cars is his favorite," her son reminded her.

"He did."

"Mister Max likes it too. But his favorite is Aladdin."

"I thought his favorite was Tiana?"

"His favorite princess." Kevin followed her into the kitchen, pushing his stool to the counter and climbing up. "But he loves Aladdin."

"Why does he love Aladdin?" she asked, taking down the packets of microwave popcorn.

"He says the genie."

"Well, he has a point." She put a packet in the microwave and moved to get a bowl.

"He likes Tiana because she works for what she wants." Kevin spoke slowly, and y/n knew it was because he wanted to make sure he repeated Max verbatim. He even, probably unintentionally, copied Max's slight lisp.

And so it was that when Logan arrived, she and Kevin were in a debate over the work ethic of Disney princesses.

"I'm not saying she held down two jobs, but Cinderella worked," she insisted while she opened the door. "She cooked and cleaned and dealt with everything in the castle – Hey, c'mon in – and you need to remember it was set like two or three hundred years ago, of course she didn't have a job"

"But she only danced," Kevin said as he greeted Logan with a hug. "Tiana turned into a frog, Mama."

"Are we arguing?" Logan asked with a chuckle.

Y/n rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to defend my girl Cindy and he's showing misogyny."

"Am not," Kevin huffed. Tugging on Logan's shirt, he waited for him to lean down before whispering. "What's miss… That mean?"

"I think it means when a man expects a woman to stay home and cook and clean and raise babies," Logan whispered back.

"That's stupid."

"There's my sweet boy again. Go pick up your cars," she told him, laughing when he ran off to do so. Taking Logan's jacket, she draped it over the hook by the door. "Hey."

"Hey," he murmured, smiling.

His kiss wasn't unexpected. He'd kissed her plenty of times since their dinner in Italy. But there was something added in, something she couldn't quite identify but knew she liked. Leaning into him, she hummed softly when his hand lightly cradled her neck, pulling back at the sound of Kevin throwing his cars into the bin.

"Date in Montreal?" Logan asked.

She opened her mouth to say yes, then bit her lip. "I don't know. I have to bring Kevin with me."

"Oh. I thought he was staying here with Ellie?"

"He was, but she's been having really bad migraines since Monaco. She's going to the doctor tomorrow, but I can't just expect her to deal with him and all that."

"We'll still do something fun."

"We will," she promised, leaning to kiss his cheek. "Go on, I'll get the popcorn."

They parted, and she heard him talking to Kevin while she got the popcorn and drinks. When she brought it out he was already on the couch, remote in hand and following Kevin's directions to find the movie, like he hadn't used their TV half a dozen times by now.

"This is his favorite movie that he watches every other day, so he'll be talking along with it," she warned him with a smile once they were settled and he'd hit play. She could already tell that Kevin would be out before the movie was finished, recognizing the way he rubbed his eyes as he snuggled between her and Logan. Picking up her phone so she could check her email, she half paid attention, frowning when a text from Ellie popped up.

Is your boy toy here? I want water.

She rolled her eyes.

He's not my boy toy but yes. I'll bring you some.

"Be right back," she whispered to Logan, pushing herself off the couch and going to the kitchen to fix a cup of water for her friend. Slipping into the bedroom, she closed the door and approached the bed. "Hey," she whispered, setting the cup down.

Ellie groaned, slowly sitting up. "Thanks."

"Pill hasn't kicked in yet?"

"Almost. Logan here?"

Y/n smiled. "Yeah. Watching Cars."

"Romantic." Ellie breathed deeply. "Water?"

Handing it to her, she sat on the edge of the bed. "You're drugged so you'll be honest…"

"Yes, I think you should sleep with him."

She blinked, pressing her hands to her face. "Thanks, El."

"Welcome." Ellie pushed the cup to her. "He's cute and he likes you. And it's been years since you had some good dick. Sleep with him."

She stood and leaned to kiss her friend's head. "Go to sleep, babe."

"Loves you," Ellie mumbled sleepily.

"Love you more." Leaving the cup on the nightstand, she tiptoed from the room.

She didn't want to sleep with Logan, did she? Just because he was cute – which he was, but she preferred the term handsome – and liked her? She did like him. He was good with Kevin, and he was nice. He hadn't been pushy at all since their not-a-date dinner date, but she wasn't blind. She could tell he wanted more than the quick, stolen kisses.

Just as she'd known he would, Kevin was asleep before the movie was halfway through, and she pried him from Logan's shoulder to go tuck him in. When she returned, he'd turned off the movie and put on Netflix, and she reclaimed her spot.

"Is it okay for me to hang around?" he asked, pushing the popcorn bowl onto the coffee table.

"Of course." Smiling, she laughed when he flopped back, one arm draping around her and dragging her close. She barely paid attention to the show he'd turned on, letting herself enjoy the physical closeness. His hand rubbed her arm and she shifted closer, resting her head on his chest.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?" She tipped her head back, surprised – but not really – when he took the opportunity to kiss her. His arm tightened around her, other hand coming up to cup her cheek and she sank into the kiss, whining a little when he pulled back. "Okay?"

"Y-yeah," she breathed, nodding, shifting so she was kneeling, hands gently grabbing the front of his shirt as their lips met again.

"So we can be more than friends?" he asked between kisses.

Y/n exhaled shakily, wondering how he could ask that question when his hand was sliding under her shirt. Or was he expecting her to determine their relationship? "I mean… Yeah? We can just…" It was hard to concentrate with his hand creeping closer to her breast. "Figure it out as we go?"

"I like that," he whispered.

His fingers brushed the outer curve of her breast and her mouth went dry, feeling the flames of yearning in a long time. "I like that, too," she whispered, threading her fingers through his hair. She pulled back just when her lips brushed his again, slightly panicked at the thought of having sex on the sofa. "B-but we don't have to go all the way tonight, do we? I don't—"

I don't want to tarnish the couch my son naps and watches TV on.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm good with just kissing you," he promised.

"We can make out," she suggested, because she needed a little more than kissing. Just the training wheels until she remembered what to do and what she liked.

"Hands above the waist?" he asked while slowly guiding her down.

"Good idea." She had the distinct impression that if his hands went below her waist she'd be begging for more. And she wasn't ready for that. Not yet.

Maybe not ever, and as she started to lose herself in his kiss she wondered if he'd be okay with that, too.

Taglist:

@spookystitchery | @halleest | @lyannesworld | @llando4norris | @kravitzwhore | @younxii | @silentreader128 | @samantha-chicago | @mrsbrxkkxr | @cmleitora | @jasons-little-princess | @toldyouitwasamelodrama | @aundercover | @kiwi43-81 | @awritingtree | @voidsfics | @manicpixiemom | @misartymis | (i think i got everyone)

[justiceforvillains]

CALL ME M O N S T E R

➽ PAIRING : Vampire Hyunjin x Fem Reader

➽ SUMMARY : Vampire Hyunjin has lived hundreds of years alone, only leaving his castle when the thirst becames too unbearable, so what happened when a pretty faced broken human asks to be his blood pet?

➽ WARNINGS : Mention of Abuse, body bruises and injuries, implied starvation

[How it's like Living with Vampire Hyunjin]

Note : i Don't usually like Vampire AUs but JJAM Hyunjin did something to me

There was a big dark castle just outside of the kingdom no one dares to go there, everyone knew who was inside it or more like…what was inside, the monster hidden  inside away from their sight

The last time someone visited that castle was 10 years ago, and it was an army of men looking to take the monster down that was terrorizing the whole kingdom, however it ended up with the kingdom missing a whole army

A deal between the king and the monster was made that day, whenever he's hungry he will go and pick a random human from the kingdom and suck their blood, however he will only suck enough to feed his hunger and not to kill the human

He might be a monster but he does have morals, and he doesn't wish to kill someone unnecessary, so that leads him to now staring at the human who just entered his castle, he was confused only one human came?

Why would someone in their right mind visit his castle and at night at that?! were they looking for death? When the vampire took a closer look at the human he could see the torn worn out clothes, the messy hair, the bare dirty feet

He growled loudly and apparently that was enough to have the human heartbeat picking path, and falling on the marble floor whimpering loudly, the human was scared? Good he smiled maliciously it's been awhile since he last had fun

With one snap the light of the candles went out, and the human heartbeat was deliciously getting more and more louder, in a second he stood behind the human flicking the lights back on, you havn't noticed that the vampire moved behind you yet, too frozen in fear to notice

“You dare come to my castle human?” In a second there was a loud yell followed by backing up to the wall trying to get as far away from the monster as possible, Hyunjin smiled making it a point to show off his thin tall fangs, you kept staring at him in fear

“Are you just going to keep staring little one”  as if on cue the your eyes widened as if they remembered why they're here in the first place, you quickly got on your knees bowing deeply making you head touch the floor “ple-se m-y lo-o-ord” the human had manners good

He chuckled darkly “what are you here for?” The poor thing shook in fear as Hyunjin got closer but you didn't dare to move you just lifted you head up eyes glossing over “p-le-ase let m-me be your b-blood pet” now that took the vampire by surprise “what?”

you couldn't hold back anymore, your tears finally fell and Hyunjin doesn't usually care much about human tears, he was used to seeing their tears, but this time it was different the human Infront of him was not crying in fear like the others, they were crying in despair what an awful smell “I will p-proof I'm worthy please just try me”

Hyunjin's eyes narrowed as he took a step closer to you "You're willing to be my blood pet? That's a bold move, little one." He smiled, his fangs glinting in the dim light.

you nodded vigorously, your eyes brimming with tears. "I-I will do anything, p-please just Take me In"

“What makes you think I need one in the first place?” “You don't like visiting the kingdom, you h-hate how the people scream” That was true; he hated how much men and women would scream as soon as they saw him. “What's in it for you?” He raised his brow.

Who in their right mind would make an offer like that to a vampire? “I don't wa-anna go back there” “What's your name?” “Y/N, my lord” “Ok, little Y/N, I want you to get in the shower and scrub off all the dirt on your body” your eyes widened, does that mean he will take you in?

you looked around, oh yeah right; you didn't know where the bathroom is. “Follow me” Hyunjin wasn't actually going to let you stay in his castle forever; he would just suck you dry and kill you, morals or not. you did trespass on his property. and he does not appreciate that.

He opened the door waiting for you to go inside, and he stood there waiting. “So?” you looked at him confused with those round innocent-looking eyes. “S-so?” you managed to say back. Hyunjin chuckled. “Are you going to shower with clothes on?”

Realization hit you; he wanted you to strip right in front of him. you looked down, no backing down. Y/N, if you disobey his very first order, he will kick you out or even worse kill you. you did say you would do anythin...

You took a shaky breath, willing your shaky hands to move and take off your tattered shirt.

you didn't dare to look at the vampire; didn't dare to see the look in the vampire's eyes once he sees how your body looked like. Once you were just about to pull your pants off, you heard an angry growl. and a door slamming you freezes; fuck now you're dead.

he was gone he left you alone in the big fancy bathroom your legs gave out as you sobbed too scared to move too scared to even think what he will do with you next

“And they call me a fucking monster!”

Hyunjin didn't believe his eyes; he only asked the human to strip to see how far they would take it, what was their breaking point. but he did not expect to see the bruises, cuts, and degrading words engraved in the human's skin.

His blood boiled he knows he's a vampire he knows humans are usually smaller than him but you were too small too skinny TOO FUCKING DESPRATE

The fact that you would rather be a blood bank instead of living with your own kind made him Furios, he knows he shouldn't care but this whole thing was just unexpected

Now he fucking knows why this little human wanted to be his blood pet; why they wanted to leave that fucking hell hole and live with a vampire.

✦ Masterlist ✦

[How it's like Living with Vampire Hyunjin]

[gracieheartspedro]

Cool About It

joel miller x fem! reader

Description: you've only patrolled with him a couple times, which made you kind of hate him. but after a night of subtle flirting at the tipsy bison, tons of alcohol, shooting pool, and making fun of some guy's tattoos, you realize you're really into joel. after you get him, you realize maybe you shouldn't want him.

Part 1/3

PART TWO IS HERE

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, drinking, playing pool(?), possible age gap (not specified really), very smutty, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, joel is a menace a bit, ellie is also a little shit haha

hi lovers, how's it going? this is going to be a three-parter, inspired by Boygenius' song "Cool About It". it's gonna be smutty in all three parts so be ready (: please reach out if you have any requests or just wanna talk! I'm friendly I promise lmao

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool

And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos

Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it

Tellin' myself I can always do without it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

You keep your head held high while you walk into the Tipsy Bison, the only bar in Jackson. You were not familiar with the walls of the establishment, but the plan was to get out of your comfort zone. You were good at being a social outcast, and Maria, the only friend you had here, told you to try to break out of your shell. 

So here you are, at a bar. 

Immediately you recognize a couple of familiar faces, including the Millers. 

Tommy and Joel were the patrol leaders for Jackson. You always felt comfortable around Tommy. He was more laid back and funny. On the couple of patrols you did with him, he always made sure the time went by quicker. While serious in times that are pressing, he brought light to darker situations. Maria, his wife, was the first person to introduce you to life in Jackson. She got you set up in a house by yourself and had you start patrolling when she realized you were an excellent shot. She was kind, always making sure you were looking out for yourself and invited you to family dinners sometimes.

Joel was different. 

Very quiet and deadly serious when he was speaking. He made you feel insecure about your abilities, always double and triple checking things behind you. You couldn’t bring your own horse out of the stable without him checking your pack and ensuring you packed extra bullets. 

“You never know what’s out there, girl,” He would tell you. 

You find an empty seat at the bar. Only one seat away from Joel. 

The bartender approaches you, asking what you’d like. You gesture towards Maria.

“Whatever she’s havin’.” 

Maria finally takes notice from beside Tommy and waves at you with a huge smile plastered on her face. It warmed your cold little heart. 

“Hey pretty lady,” She hops out of her chair to give you a half hug, “Glad you are doing this.”

Tommy was looking at you from beside Joel, a smirk playing on his face.

Joel stared forward with no emotion, not even daring to glance your direction.

“How’s it goin’?” Tommy asks, scooting his chair back to begin his way over to you, taking a spot next to Maria. 

You nod, “It’s going.”

“You were on that patrol with the raiders a couple days ago, right?”

He was referring to two days ago when a couple of shitty raiders took down your partner’s horse and almost shot you through the back. You guys got the upper hand, of course. You never went without packing two guns, so you had quickly slid off your horse to find cover behind a downed tree and used a hunting rifle to take two headshots. Your partner wasn’t so lucky. He was an older man and he fell hard when his horse went down. You had to race back to Jackson getting him into the infirmary as quickly as you could. Turns out he broke his arm and a couple of ribs. He would be off patrols for awhile. 

“Sure was,” You reply, “Luckily Eugene got out with just a broken arm. I was happy to be there for him.”

Before Tommy could reply to you, Joel quips up. 

“He told me you got both of the guys between the eyes,” He mumbles, “That true?”

You shake my head positively. You didn’t even want to speak to him in fear that you’d say the wrong thing. He would overanalyze you at the drop of a hat. 

“That’s impressive,” Tommy remarks, “Glad you got out of it unscathed.”

“My girl here is a badass,” Maria pats your shoulder, “Glad you are doing better. I know you were a rattled a bit.”

You take a sip of my drink, noting the intense burn, “Yeah, me too.”

You guys make more small talk, mainly about some recent patrols and what you found. You try to act interested, but the truth was you wanted to go home and read. Your mind was better occupied with made up stories than the stories that were playing out before you in real life. 

“I think we should get home to Ian,” Maria says to Tommy, referring to their newer son. He was about five months now, very cute, and chunky. He resembled your nephew before the world stole him and his mother from you. So you always refused to hold Ian, knowing it would send you into a spiral as soon as his little fingers found yours. Maria understood, telling you she knew exactly how you felt. She’s felt loss like that before, too.

“Ellie probably wants to be relieved of her cousin duties,” Joel grumbles from beside Tommy, “Poor girl doesn’t know what she agreed to.”

“Ian’s sleepin’,” Maria says putting on her coat, “She is probably bored.”

“Tell her to head home when you see her,” Joel comments. 

You have met Joel’s girl more than once. She was kind of stand-offish, intially. Now that you’ve met her a couple times, she was more chatty and goofy. She was a spitfire towards Tommy, which always made you laugh. 

From what you understood, Joel had a daughter before the outbreak. Tommy and Maria keep her name on a little memorial above their fireplace, with Maria’s son’s name scribbled beside hers. You didn’t know the backstory behind Ellie, but you realized the last time you were around all of them, she doesn’t call him dad. Just Joel or old man. Maybe she adopted?

Maria pulls you out of your thoughts, nudging you a bit. 

“Stay awhile, have another drink.”

You nod giving her a gentle smile, “I will. Get home safe.”

“See you around, girl,” Tommy says, giving you a half hug. You turn back to face the bar, noticing Joel’s still sipping on his whiskey. 

You two sit in awkward silence when they leave, not saying much to one another. You drink your second round quickly, calling over the bartender for another one. Joel says he wants the same. Once you get your pours, he finally decides to talk again.

“You still with that one guy?”

You look at him curiously, not sure who he’s talking about. You rack your brain trying to figure out who he’s referring to and then it hits you. 

“Kendrick? Oh no, he’s not anything,” You respond. 

Kendrick was one of your patrol partners. You two hooked up once and realized it was too weird. He was younger than you, which didn’t mean much. But that was a huge factor in his performance. He wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know what foreplay was, which meant the sex was dry and not pleasurable in the slightest. 

“It seemed like something the other day,” Joel notes, “Wouldn’t stop staring at you at the town meeting.”

You could not help but notice the slight venom in his tone. 

“Interesting you’re taking notice to other guys who look at me. You jealous, Miller?”

He turns to you finally, his eyes a bit glassy. The whiskey was making him bold, you could tell. 

“Just observant,” He remarks, “He doesn’t seem like your type.”

“Oh, now you know my type?”

He shakes his head at your response, “I imagine you like them a bit older than him.”

Maybe you were overanalyzing the situation, but it seemed to you that Joel Miller was flirting with you. You felt like he was suggesting you were into him. 

Truth be told, you did like them older. You liked a rugged man who was a bit of a mystery. You also liked assholes. All things Joel Miller was. So maybe you were into him.

You lean in to speak to him quietly, “Are you trying to suggest something?”

“Not at all,” He murmurs, “Just answering your question. Am I wrong?”

You purse your lips, “Not wrong.”

Another awkward silence. 

“Wanna play some pool?”

You furrow your eyebrows, not knowing how to respond. You think his goal was to change the subject and avoid more silence. So you just nod, hopping off your barstool. The two of you make your way through some occupied tables to the one empty pool tables. You grab a stick while Joel starts to corral all the balls and set them in place.

You’ve played pool before, but you were never good. Your ex found a pool table once while you two were traveling and he spent hours teaching you how to play. It led to a screaming match. You decided after that, it just wasn’t for you. 

Joel was patient, watching you line up the white ball and hit it with hardly any force, not breaking up any of the balls. You just shake your head in disappointment. 

“You ever play?”

“Yeah, I just suck.”

“Fair enough,” He replies, taking his shot. You guys go back and forth. You getting no balls in the pockets, him getting all the balls in the pockets. 

You ask him about patrols he’s been on recently, trying to make light conversation. You really just wanted to see if your conversation would lead back to where it started. 

It didn’t. 

Instead you two got more rounds of drinks and played more pool. He became more chatty, standing behind you every time you tried to take a shot, giving you advice here and there. Once you stood straight up after finally getting a ball in a pocket, he leaned in a bit. 

“You see that guy over there?”

He gestured towards an older gentleman at one of the far tables. He seemed like the type to have a Confederate flag hanging outside his house. He also seemed like the type to call a woman a slur if they turned down his advances. Maybe you are just a bitch and assuming all of this. Or your assumptions about a man were right, per usual. 

You turn to Joel, glancing up at him. He was close, his face centimeters away. 

“Mhm?”

“He’s got all those tattoos,” He looks towards the man again, “The one on his neck is a skull with one of those Native headdresses. Looks fuckin’ dumb.”

The way he says it sends you into a fit of giggles. He starts to laugh, too. It was the first time you saw him genuinely smile and damn did it look beautiful on him. His eyes crinkled a bit, his shoulders falling in a very relaxed way. 

You finish up your round of pool and decide it’s time for the both of you to retire back to your houses. Conveniently, your house was right off Rancher Street just like his. You grab your coat off the one barstool, watching Joel put on his. 

“We are going the same way, do you mind walkin’ with me?”

“No problem.”

-

You two walked side by side, your steps almost in sync. It was much darker now, the sun set hours ago. You felt like you went through a time jump. You didn’t feel like you spent tons of time at the Tipsy Bison. 

Joel’s house is before yours on the street, so when you arrive in front of his steps, he stops completely.

“Here’s me,” Joel mutters, “You comin’ in?”

“Should I?” You question, stupidly.

“Well I invited you, so yeah,” He suggests, “You should.”

He walks in front of you, reaching for his front door. His house was comfy and warm. Looking around, you could tell he kept it well maintained. It was clean, only a couple dust bunnies lined the hallway baseboards. He had pictures on the walls and blankets littering the couch.

“I ain’t done this in awhile,” He says, sliding his boots off at the front door. You follow suit, not really taking in the words he said. He stares at you carefully, waiting for a response.

“I’m sorry, what exactly?”

He approaches you slowly, his demeanor shifting. He looks down at you, his stature a lot bigger than most of the men you’ve been with, you note. He was broad and brilliantly tanned. His dark chocolate hair was speckled with grays. He had some fine lines on his face, especially where he furrowed his eyebrows 24/7. 

“Brought a girl home.”

His brown eyes grow ever darker, his arm enveloping you for a moment. You don’t pull away, letting him bring your body closer to his. You feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach, something you’ve not felt with a man in years.

“Feelin’ a bit rusty?” You suggest, your hands resting on his chest.

“Don’t know about that,” He mutters, “Do know I’ve been thinkin’ about this for a while.”

His comment takes you back, completely sobering you up. The warmth from the alcohol subsides and you blink at him for a minute.

“What do you mean, a while?”

His face centimeters away from yours, again. You instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, having to get on your tiptoes to do so. 

“Meanin’ every time ’m around you, I think of how amazing your ass looks in those jeans.”

Your heart skips a beat. 

“You’re only now telling me this, Joel?” You ask, playing up that you were annoyed. You were kind of, because what the fuck, you could’ve had him sooner?

“Didn’t think a pretty young thing like you would want me,” He says, “Now I know better.”

He leans down, his lips hardly touching yours. You assume he’s waiting for your move, so you give in first, capturing his lips against yours. It was gentle at first, until he takes notice to how you’re pulling him down further.

He deepens the kiss, pressing your back against one of the walls nearby. His lips were soft, his mustache tickling you a bit. He adds tongue seamlessly, feverishly grabbing you everywhere. Your hips, lower back, your butt. 

I can’t believe I’m making out with Joel right now. 

Your brain stops for a moment when you realize one thing you never thought about before. Where’s Ellie?

It brings you out of the kiss. You pull away slowly, trying not to alarm him too much.

“Is Ellie home?” You mutter, your eyes fluttering open to meet his. 

He looks to the side, glancing out the back window. 

“Probably, but she stays in the garage out back. She has uhm,” He gestures towards the backyard, “Has a whole set up in there. She never comes in here, don’t worry.”

It reassures you enough to bring him back into the kiss. His hands return to your waist, pulling you closer. You couldn’t help but grip his arms, feeling his muscles through his long sleeve. 

“Bring me to bed, Miller,” You moan between kisses, “Need you now.”

He doesn’t say anything before he leans down, hiking your legs up around his waist. He carries you like you’re a light little feather. You use this time to attach your lips to his neck, giving him soft kisses up to his earlobe. 

Joel may be a bit older than you, but he carried you up the stairs like no other 50-something-guy could. He didn’t even fumble, his steps heavy and calculated. Once you two get to the landing, he readjusts you, his hands now holding you up by your ass. 

“Let’s get you out of these clothes,” He murmurs in your ear, walking you into his bedroom. It smells like fresh air, which throws you off a bit. You notice the one window in the corner is cracked slightly, letting in the springtime air. 

He tosses you on his made up bed, making you a bounce a bit. He’s standing over you looking a bit dishelved, his eyes dark with desire. 

He unbuttons his shirt, shaking it off his shoulders. You watch the piece of fabric fall away from him. His upper body is toned, some areas of his stomach and shoulders are littered with scars. The moonlight highlights them, but honestly, they made him hotter. He looked more dangerous, more unattainable for a girl like you. 

“You just gonna gawk?” He teases, leaning down to let his lips meet yours again. In between kisses, he tugs down your pants, leaving you just in your underwear and top. He throws your pants across the room, his hands trailing up your bare thighs. 

“Let me get my top off,” You say pulling away from his eager lips. He sits back on his knees, watching you slowly peel off your top and undershirt. The undershirt has a built in bra that hardly keeps your boobs supported, but it was easier than wearing the uncomfortable bras you usually wore. You throw both shirts across the room before you lean back on your elbows again. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” He says, his hands reaching out to touch you. He finds your collarbones first, before letting one hand trace the swell of your breasts. He was taking his time with you. 

“You just gonna gawk?”

He smiles. 

“I am gonna ruin you, girl,” He spits. You stare at him with your best doe eyes, trying to see what kind of rise you could get out of him. 

He grabs one of your boobs, before pushing you all the way on your back. His lips trace all over your body before ghosting right above where your underwear sit on your lower tummy. 

“Joel-” You begin, until he starts tracing your slit with his fingers, right over your panties. 

“Hm?” He chuckles, his soft touches making you writhe under him, “What, sweetheart?”

“Need you-” You choke out, “Please.”

He chuckles darkly, “Love to see you beg.”

You knew he was going to be dominant, but you didn’t expect him to be so candid. He seemed so quiet and steadfast in day to day life, so when you see him like this, you knew you were fucked. He was the type to talk you through the whole experience, something you’d never had with another man. Everyone you had slept with was so vanilla. No one was like the guys in the novels you read. Dominant, hungry for more, and vocal. 

“Let’s take these off,” He says wrapping his finger around the band of your underwear. You were so giddy now, you lift your ass a bit so he could get them off you. When you do that, your bare pussy gets so close him that you could feel his breath on your mound slightly. 

“You ever been eaten out before, girl?”

You shake your head, “Yes, but I didn’t really enjoy it.”

“Just let me know when you’re about to cum, baby,” Baby, “I know you will.”

You loved how cocky he was. It made the anticipation almost too overwhelming.

He leans down, his tongue flattening over your slit. You watch him close his eyes and instantly get into devouring you. He flicks his tongue up and down, eventually pressing his lips around your mound. You lose all ability to speak, so when he pulls away, you groan in displeasure. 

He says nothing, just put his middle finger and ring finger into his mouth, covering them in his saliva. He looks up at you, those fingers beginning to trace you up and down. 

“You-” Is all you can say before he’s sinking his fingers inside. He reattaches his lips to your clit, sucking as he fucks you with his digits. The wet squelching from the action sends your head into orbit. You cannot believe how good it feels because every other sexual encounter you had the guy would go in dry, maybe giving you kitten licks, and call it eating you out. But not Joel. Joel knew a woman’s anatomy. He knew exactly how to treat it. 

You just moan out his name, letting his actions take you to that familiar heat build up in your tummy. Usually you had to get there yourself. You throw your head back into his pillows, your eyes crushing shut as you take in the feeling. 

“Hey,” You hear Joel growl, “Eyes on me, or I stop.”

Your eyes fly open, watching him return to sucking your clit. As you stare down, you notice him adding another finger into the mix. The pressure felt so good, your walls feeling everything he was giving you. 

“Can I please,” You are about to let go, but you remember you were supposed to tell him, “Cum?”

You can’t even form sentences. 

He pulls away.

“Since you asked nicely,” His lips are wet with your slick, “Cum.”

The magic word that sends you into pure bliss. Your body quakes while he still fucks you with his fingers. You can only chant his name, begging him not to stop. 

He removes his fingers, smiling at your post orgasm face. You blush, suddenly becoming extremely self aware. You had no reason to be timid or shy now, being splayed out like you are in front of Joel. 

He stands tall over you, making you feel so small in his big bed.

“That was so good baby, but I ain’t done with you,” He pulls you by your legs to the edge of the bed, “Need that perfect pussy wrapped around my cock.”

“Jesus fuck,” You moan, still sensitive from what he just did to you. 

He groans, “Name is Joel. No Jesus here.”

He just had to give into the dad jokes. You slap your forehead in disappointment, making him grin a bit. 

“Got you all nice and stretched, now.”

You realize he hasn’t even taken off his pants in that moment, because he pulls down his tented pants to reveal himself to you. He was bigger than you’ve ever had, which sent you gawking again. He pumps himself, watching your widened eyes. 

“You’re too easy to read, girl,” He mutters, “I’ll inch it in, let you get adjusted nicely.”

You lean forward a bit, back onto your elbows, “You’re gonna fucking split me in half.”

He runs his dick between your wet core, which sends shockwaves up your body. 

“Like I said,” He licks his lips, “I got you nice and stretched.”

Him repeating it made you smirk devilishly. He continued to run his cock up and down your wetness, getting ready to plunge into you. 

When he stops right in front of your hole, he stares into your eyes like he’s trying to read your mind. 

“Fuck me, Joel Miller.”

He sinks into you, inch by inch. You groan in pleasure. The stretch is nothing like his fingers, it’s even better. 

He’s taking his time, pulling back a bit before pushing back into you. It’s slow, gradual. After three pumps, he leans down to catch your lips. He continues to grind into you, the mixture so intoxicating. You moan into the kiss, your mouth opening up for his tongue to slip in. He tasted like you, which was something you never really tasted before. 

“Your pussy was made for me,” He moans, “Fuckin’ hell.”

He sits back, bringing the pace up a bit, his balls slapping into you now. The sounds were borderline pornographic. The panting, the wetness, the slapping. 

“You’re takin’ me so well,” He grunts, “I want to hear you.”

You cry out as he speeds up, “Please, d-don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t. He keeps the pace the same as he fondles your boobs. He pinches your perked up nipples, clenching his teeth. You can tell he’s getting close, but instead of chasing that high, he stops. 

He manhandles you, pulling you up like he did when he carried you up the stairs. He somehow keeps his dick inside you as he finds a seat on the bed. He’s holding you above him, completely switching positions. 

“Want you to ride me,” He says, “Need to see those beautiful tits bouncin’.”

You take up the challenge. You rest on your knees first. You circle your hips, dragging your clit across his lower tummy. You never knew you could feel so full before, especially in this position. 

He just stared at you in awe, playing with your tits as you grind down on him. 

You take one of his hands in your own, placing it right below your belly button. 

“I feel you right here, Joel,” You moan, “Fillin’ me up so good.”

You knew he wanted to cum right there because his dicks twitches inside you. 

“You are one dirty girl,” He growls, “You’re lucky I’m even letting you cum again, talkin’ like that.”

You plant your feet on the bed, finding all your strength to start bouncing on him. He steadies you, bringing his hips up to meet yours. This angle hits different, especially when Joel’s thumb finds your clit again. You couldn’t help yourself, chasing that same high you felt before when his face was between your thighs. 

You look down at him with hooded lids, “I’m gonna cum again.”

“Yes you are,” He smirks, “Cum all over me baby, I feel you.”

Your release hits you, making you fall to your knees again. Your hips girate, the spasming around Joel’s cock sending him into a moaning mess. He lets your settle for a moment before lifting you back up. His dicks slides out, which causes him to hiss and you to groan. Instead of laying you face up, he throws you face down into the pillows. 

“My turn,” He says, dipping his cock back into you. As soon as it happens, you realize you weren’t done. That same sensitivity was back, but this time you felt the burning pick back up even quicker. He’s settling into a brutal pace, grabbing both your ass cheeks and spreading them apart. You turn your head, trying to get a view of him. 

He was watching himself plunge into you, over and over again. It had to be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. He’s dripping in sweat, his body glistening, clenching his teeth at the sight of your bodies meeting. 

“‘m bout to cum,” He moans, “Where do you want it?”

“Fuck it into me, Joel.”

The words slips out so quickly. The tipping point hit you both at the same time, the spasming hitting you all over again. You scream into the pillows, biting into them trying not to be too loud. He releases himself into you, stilling his movements. 

He doesn’t say anything when he pulls out, you both just breathe out loudly. You felt so empty without him. 

You had never cum so much in one night before. 

Joel Miller made you cum three times. 

Without any help. 

You hear his footsteps trail to his attached bathroom, hearing some water run from the faucet. You return to laying on your back, unsure if you could trust your legs to stand. Joel’s figure returns to the room, a damp rag in his hands. He smirks at you all the while nudging your legs apart. He slowly drags the rag around your sensitive area, making sure to get any cum that was leaking out of you. After he cleans you up, he wipes off his dick a bit. 

He tosses the rag into a basket of clothes nearby. 

“You want any water?”

You take note to how gentle and sweet he was being after being so aggressive towards you before. It was a side of Joel you really appreciated. He wasn’t talking down to you, he genuinely took your needs into account.

“I think I’ll be okay,” You respond, your eyes finally shutting, “Don’t think I’ll be able to walk home.”

“You can stay,” He grumbles, walking to the side of the bed, “We both have patrol in the morning anyway.”

Your eyes fly open, “Shit, I do! Wait-”

“Yeah I’m on with you. For the rest of the week.”

You could scream. This man just gave you the best dick of your life and now you had to patrol with him? You didn’t know how you’d be able to contain yourself.

“Fuck,” You place your hands over your face. You settle in the thought that you needed to sleep if you were going to be alive for morning patrol and you’d worry about your horny desires for Joel.

“C’mere,” He says, pulling you further up the bed. He positions you next to him in the bed, pulling some covers over you, leaving your boobs still out for his viewing pleasure. He wrapped one arm under you, letting it rest around your neck. 

His sheets were flannel and so warm. His scent overtook you as soon as you relaxed into the pillows. One of them is the one you bite into earlier. 

You felt at peace, wanting to stay in this spot for as long as possible. 

“I’ll wake you a bit earlier so you can go home and get dressed,” He grumbles, “And…”

You don’t even realize how tired you are. Before Joel can finish his sentence, you fall into a deep slumber, praying sunrise doesn’t come too quickly. 

-

You wake up when it’s still dark outside. Joel woke you up with a gentle nudge. You shoot up, scared for a moment before you take in your environment. You realize he’s fully dressed already. You groan, rubbing your eyes. 

When you start to slip out of bed, you start realizing you’re still completely naked. 

And in Joel’s bed. 

You plant your feet on the wooden floorboards, using the light from the one lamp in the corner of the room to find your clothes. You could not find your panties for the life of you, so you give up and just shove your legs into your jeans and throw your shirt over your head. Joel lets you wake up in silence, not asking you questions until you make it downstairs. 

“I’ll see you at the stables,” He mutters, pouring warm water into a mug that has a tea bag hanging off of it, “You go get changed.”

He was being short, you could tell. You feel a sinking feeling, like he probably regretted what happened last night. Before you could respond, the back door swings open and a smaller frame enters the dark house. 

“Ellie,” Joel hisses, “What are you doing up?”

Her tired eyes are on you. You freeze in your spot, not knowing how to react or what to say. Your head just races with shitshitshitshit.

“I knew I heard your voice last night!” She laughs, “Y’all have fun?”

Your cheeks heat up instantly, not able to think of a response. 

“Ellie!” His voice is stern and borderline scary, “Go back to your room, now.”

It was a demand. 

She just chuckles, grabbing the door handle and pulling it close. 

“See you around, Joel’s lady friend.”

You stand there completely dumbfounded and embarrassed. Joel sips on his hot tea, not really paying attention to your response to Ellie calling you his lady friend. 

“Go get dressed.”

It was another demand. It sent shockwaves through your body. Maybe your sinking feeling was correct. 

Joel only did what he did last night because of the alcohol. It didn’t change how he’d treat or talk to you in real life. You kind of wished he’d just be cruel about it. Like he would just read your mind and tell you how stupid you were to think this would change anything. 

You felt like a fool.  You don’t say anything as you walk to the door and put on your boots. As you walk out of the house, you promise yourself to take it one minute at a time. Don’t overthink everything. Just let it be a one night stand. Don’t make it about your feelings. Be cool about it.

[ihopeiexplode]

A/N: Hahahaha I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this

A/N: idk how to feel abt this one

Boss!Sukuna Who: Was never fond of love. and never will be. well, unless it came to you of course

"You seriously only dated 3 people in your whole lifetime??"

"I just answered your question. yes, i only dated 3 people, how many more times do i have to repeat myself?"

"Booo you are so boring..."

"Have you dated anyone and stayed with them after a month?"

"..."

"Exactly. get back to work"

"Gee your no fun"

He'd watch as you walked away from him with a pout on your face, when were you suddenly so interested in his love life?

—

"Sooo what's your type in a woman then?"

"Are you just gonna keep following me to ask stupid questions?"

"and plus. why do you care?"

"Welll Valentine's day is right around the corner and you said you never dated anyone before sooo being the good employee I am I'm making sure you have someone to spend the day with !!"

ah, that's why, he never cared for such a useless holiday seeing how his past history with his partners never worked out well the first one cheated, the second one used him, and the third one just straight-up cut contact with no reason whatsoever

maybe that's why he was never fond of the concept of love and never will be, it's a useless thing and all it's gonna do is just hold you back down so why bother.

and plus, with the current generation, he doubts true love even exists.

"Not interested."

"Awhhh cmon give it a try"

the moment a sound escaped from your mouth he immediately flicked your head

"ouch...."

—

yet despite him not telling you a single thing, you still hadn't given up,

"Nanamii hii !!"

"hm?"

"Sooo you've known sukuna for quite awhile sooo like..."

"hm, what about it?"

"do you know what his type is?"

"...."

the moment the room fell silent you'd look around noticing how everyone just stared at you dumbfoundedly

"wait your serious?..."

"yes...?"

".... how oblivious are you..."

"What is that supposed to mean"

"I'm sure you can figure it out..."

—

Since none was willing to answer you, you just brought matters into your own hands! i mean what better way to look into sukunas past lovers!! maybe it'll help you figure out his preferences,

but oh how wrong you turned out to be...

every woman, even guys... you showed him, he turned down every one of them. how are you supposed to help him find a date if he keeps turning down everyone!

—

You'd be on the rooftop leaning over a railing as you took a puff of your cigarette, eventually, you heard the door behind you open, and when you turned to look who it was, it was no other than sukuna

he stood next to you grabbing out his own pack of cigarettes as he snatched the lighter from your hand and lit his cigarette up while the two of you stared down at the city, admiring the bright lights as the two of you watched in silence

eventually, you decided to speak up,

"how come you keep turning down everyone I set you up with?"

"I told you, I have no interest in them, they don't fit my type"

"See that's the problem! how am I supposed to help if you won't tell me what your type is?"

"i already like someone, so no need"

"what."

"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT SOONER"

"It's funny messing with you"

"I hate you"

"No, you dont,"

"Tch. whatever. but anyways, who do you even like?"

"You know them,"

"OH OH I KNOW THIS ONE"

with that, he just kept staring at you watching as you named everyone you knew, males included....?

by the time you were done, you were out of breath seeing how you said everything without breathing,

"Okay, so who is it?? I mentioned everyone I know"

"yeah but you didn't mention the person I like"

"I swear if the person you like is yourself..."

"want me to tell you?"

"PLEASE."

"There standing in front of me right now,"

"what? but I'm the one who's standing in front of you??"

"Exactly,"

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddie-week.

Long Long Time

Day #3 - Prompt: Mutual Pining | Word Count: 1050 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Steve | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Idiot 4 Idiot, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Platonic Stobin, Robin Knows What's Up

It's not one realization. It's several, over and over again. A steady falling, until he's in so deep, there's just nothing to be done about it. 

"Stop pining, dingus," Robin says, and Steve looks up at her and smiles.

"Impossible," he answers.

"Just tell him," she urges, and he shakes his head. Eddie isn't interested. He's made that pretty clear with the distance he's put between them. 

"Nah, that's not cool. He's getting ready to go," Steve says, "no reason to make it uncomfortable now."

"Dingus. No. Stop it. I can promise you Eddie is pining for you just as hard."

Steve shakes his head. He knows that's not true. Steve's tried all his best moves over the last two years, everything he knows, and has nothing to show for it, except a heart that's maybe not gonna be his anymore.

Steve sits on the floor of Wayne's house, and helps box tapes. Eddie's going. He's really leaving, and soon. 

And Steve's sure that's gonna hurt him for a long, long time. 

"So, what're your big plans for this summer, Harrington?" Eddie asks.

Missing you, Steve thinks, but doesn't say.

"Oh, I don't know. Hang out with Rob, I suppose. Find new jobs. You know we like to change it up every so often. Wreak havoc elsewhere."

Eddie laughs, and it makes Steve smile.

"You could come with me, you know," Eddie offers, but keeps looking down at the box he's packing. "Both of you. All of us."

It's not a real offer, Steve knows that. He knows he's supposed to say no, supposed to let Eddie go, without throwing an anchor around his neck. 

"Oh, you don't want that," Steve rebuffs, and Eddie looks up. "I'll cramp your style."

Eddie laughs, "Yeah, you know me. Party animal."

Steve grins, "You might become one. You won't want me tagging along for that."

"But, what if I do?" Eddie asks, and Steve looks up at him.

"Eddie," Steve says, trying to cut this off before he embarrasses himself.

"You're one of my best friends, and we could have fun together."

They could. Steve knows that's true. But he can't go live in an apartment with Eddie. Can't watch him spread his wings and date, right in front of Steve's face. That'd be too hard.

Even if part of Steve wants to say yes, desperately, just to cling onto anything that's being offered.

But he's trying to be better about that. Trying to grow, and shit.

He can only let his heart get trampled so many times, and he's nearing his limit. He definitely won't be able to survive it happening under Eddie's boot.

"C'mon, Steve. For me."

And that almost does it. He hates to deny anything that Eddie might want, but sometimes, you've got to save yourself first. Put on your own life preserver, then worry about everybody else. Robin's taught him that. Or, has at least tried to.

"I can't."

"Why? Robin? I said she can come, too!"

"Because we don't feel the same way about each other, Eddie!" Steve snaps, and Eddie turns into himself, immediately.

"Oh. Oh shit," Eddie says, "I didn't know you knew. Wow, that's embarrassing," he mutters, and it kind of makes Steve mad. 

"I'm not embarrassed. I can't help who I lov-. Like. Whatever. But I just can't torture myself, man. I want you to be happy, I do. And I'm the wrong guy for making that happen, obviously, so let's just leave it. While we're still friends."

Eddie's nodding, still packing, then he's suddenly frozen in place, "Wait. What? You make me the happiest."

"As a friend," Steve clarifies.

"Well, yeah. But, if you were into it, as more, too."

"Wait. What?" Steve asks, repeating the same thing Eddie had just said. This is gonna turn into Who's on First? if they aren't careful.

"I mean," Eddie says, shying away, "I know you aren't interested like that. But I still want you around."

Steve laughs, fucking cackles, like he's crazy. He feels crazy.

Was Robin right all along? Was Eddie doing the same kind of pining, and Steve just never noticed? Fuck.

They are both goddamn idiots, if that's the case.

"Well, don't laugh," Eddie says, and he sounds dejected.

"Wait, Eddie, hold up," Steve says, crawling across the carpet towards him, putting his hand on Eddie's forearm. "Do we have crossed wires here? Do you like me, like me? Like I like you?'

"You like me?" Eddie asks.

"Uh, yeah," Steve admits, "I have for a while, to be honest."

"Jesus H. Christ, we're idiots," Eddie says, pushing his hand into Steve's hair.

"Dinguses, if you ask Robin," Steve says, smiling, and Eddie's so close he could kiss him. 

Steve thinks he will, and leans in, where Eddie meets him halfway. Kissing him, and it's everything, more than Steve hoped it could ever be.

When Eddie pulls back he's smiling, eyes crinkled at the edges, fucking happy.

He looks thrilled, and Steve decides to go all in. In for a penny, in for a goddamn pound.

"I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time," Steve whispers in a sing-songy way, because even as happy as Eddie looks right now, Steve's still scared his love won't be wanted.

But Eddie just grins even harder.

"What made you think of that song?" Eddie asks, eyes big and bright, almost shiny.

"You hum it all the time," Steve answers, "under your breath. Like it's soothing."

Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's neck, pulling him tighter. Harder. Closer. They're on their knees, so that kind of hurts, but Steve refuses to let him go as Eddie whispers, "It was my mom's favorite song. She'd sing it to me at night."

"Kind of a sad lullaby," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"I was kind of a sad little boy," Eddie admits, and Steve runs his hands up and down Eddie's back.

"Well," Steve says, pressing his lips to Eddie's briefly, "if you'll let me, I'm gonna make sure you're not a sad adult."

Eddie kisses him hard at that, and Steve really will. Even if it takes his whole damn life. 

"I'll definitely let you. For a long, long time," Eddie echoes, the beginnings of a promise.

And Steve will take that deal.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!t

The title is from the Linda Ronstadt song of the same name.

[liciapeonia]

Heyy I don't know how to send request but I was thinking what do you think about a jinx x fem reader who like jinx literally found her because she stalked the reader it's like if Joe Goldberg met arcane. I don't know anyway have fun! That's my request if you can do it id love it :)

thanks for the request it was interesting to make it, I hope you like it !!!!

Just by your side

Jinx

For Jinx, love wasn't exactly obvious, for her it was complicated to see it, so when she liked someone she just stood back and watched, usually afraid to get close and make a big mess of things, usually her “ passions ” as Silco used to say, didn't last long, Jinx would see the person she thought was wonderful do some shit and act like she'd never even seen the human before in her life, but you didn't do anything wrong, you were always sweet and kind, and that drove Jinx crazy…

You met her because Silco hired you, but she had known you for a long time…

At the end of the month, the bar decided to have a party that very few people could enter, only those with the greatest reputation and power in Zaum would be part of it, these types of events were common, and Jinx always had to participate, it was normal for people to take drugs and a lot of loud music, normally Jinx would stay for a while and then leave for her hiding place, but that night she was enchanted and it was like a mermaid had captured her…

In the midst of a crowd of people Jinx was standing on the pillars observing when she saw a slender figure trying his best to get past the ogres to get to the bar, your clothes weren't the fanciest and you could get in and out of any place easily without being noticed but something about you made her hypnotized maybe your silky hair or your curious eyes but something about how you acted in how you could make a joke so easily with the barman made her want to stay a little longer in that place just to watch you.

For months she watched you, following you home, seeing who your friends were, observing your curves from a distance, your laughter, listening to the melody of your voice as you talked to your boss, going to your work to see you pick up a gun to repair, but all good things are short-lived, and a few questions began to hammer away in her head.

''I should talk to her…'' (She'll think you're a freak, how could anyone in their right mind chase her all the way home) Milo implies to her

''She doesn't know I'm sneaking around with her, I just want to make sure she's safe'' ('So sweet watching her walk down the street, seeing her with her friends walking to her house and watching her while she sleeps, she'll think you're a creep and you are)

“Shut up, I don't want to know” (you know it's true, you know that if you talked to her, she'd feel disgusted of you)

And that's how Jinx's head stayed almost every night after she observed you until she got home. For her, it was a way of protecting you if someone did something to you, a way of loving you without you hating her.

Then one day when she was in the hideout creating some bombs Silco called Jinx and to her happiness, you were standing right in front of her in Silco's office, and in her eyes, you shone like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Reader

It was your first day working with Silco's daughter and she was simply wonderful. You were good at creating mechanisms and sometimes working with weapons you were hired to improve the machines of the shimmer factories and Jinx was in charge of watching you work because apparently you weren't “ trusted” and that was the best thing you could want.

Jinx was adorable, and funny and seemed to know exactly what to say and when to say it. Naturally, she had a few problems with some voices but nothing you couldn't handle, you fell in love with her the moment you saw her.

Jinx

''You should put up some curtains, I don't know, maybe some pervert will be able to see you from outside… and I don't want anyone to see you with nothing on, toots'' she said, wrapping her arms around your waist, and putting her head on your neck.

“ Oh that's awful, do you really think anyone would look at me?” you say, squeezing her against you.

''There are a lot of weirdos out there but don't worry if there is someone

I'll sort it out for you'' she says removing her head from your neck and looking at you.

You give her a satisfied smile and give her a needy kiss on the lips that leads to a full-blown cuddle session.

[cozage]

Could you write headcanons where luffy, sanji, law, and zoro react to their s/o shouting i hate you in a heated argument out of anger and it’s angst to comfort because she didn’t really mean it? thank you <3

A/N: Wow! Talk about complete opposites here with Sanji & Luffy vs Law & Zoro. This was a fun angst request! Thanks!

Characters: female reader x luffy, sanji, law, zoro

Cw: angst (but all happy endings!)

Total word count: 1k

Hate is Such a Strong Word

Luffy

You can see the shock in his eyes, the pain in his face. It’s so clear that he’s taken aback by your words and for the first time in your recent memory, Luffy is silent for a long time. He just stares at you, trying to decipher your words.

You instantly regret saying it. He’s like a little puppy who’s been scolded and didn’t even realize what he did wrong. Except he does realize what he did, he just didn’t realize it was such a big deal until this moment. 

His voice trembles when he speaks. “You don’t mean that, do you? You don’t really hate me, right?”

He wraps you in a hug, not giving you a chance to respond. He holds you so tight there's no chance for escape. “Take it back,” he begs. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

You sigh, wrapping your arms around him too. “No, Luffy, I don’t hate you. I'm sorry I said that.”

He gives you an extra tight squeeze and then releases you. He’s not one to hold a grudge, so he apologizes again for upsetting you and promises to do better in the future, already forgetting your misspoken words. 

Sanji

As soon as the words came out of your mouth, Sanji knew his worst nightmare had come true. You were finally done with him.

He spent a moment deciding if he should beg for forgiveness or if he should accept your hatred, but you stormed out of the room before he could make a decision. 

He prepares the finest snacks for you and the girls to share. He silently sets them down while you all are chatting, even though you’re still giving him the cold shoulder. He lets you vent and get everything off your chest with them, even if it makes him look like the bad guy. 

He spends all afternoon preparing your favorite dessert, and when he sees that you’re finally done talking with the girls, he calls you over and apologizes for his wrongdoing that made you so upset. You accept both his verbal apology and his dessert one. 

But things are different between you two. He’s more distant, more nervous around you than before. Finally you confront him about it, and he admits your words have been weighing on his mind. 

It’s then that you realize how important words are to Sanji. You apologize with words and kisses and anything else you can think of to make it up to him. You remind yourself to give him more words of affirmation to help show your love, and you swear that those words will never come out of your mouth again. 

Law

His eye twitches when you scream it out to him, and his face turns to steel. “If you hate me so much, then leave.”

He storms out of the room without letting you respond. He wants the satisfaction of having the last word in this argument. You’re too angry to care.

He locks himself in his office for the most part. When he comes out of his room, he rampages through the ship. He’s slamming doors and cabinets shut, throwing things down harder than normal, everything he does is just super aggressive. 

“Why don't you just apologize?” Penguin finally asks. “Because I didn’t do anything wrong!” Law yells back, his words echoing through the whole ship. 

This man is too prideful to apologize first. It’s a waiting game between the two of you. You don’t sleep together, he stops eating meals with the crew.

You finally cave, and knock softly on his office door. He doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry I said I hated you,” you say through the door. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t know why I said that. It was a really stupid thing to say”

The door finally opens, and you can see dark circles under his eyes. He pulls you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head. “And I’m sorry for what I did. I’ll do better in the future.” 

The whole crew breathes a sigh of relief, knowing you two are okay again.

Zoro

At first the words didn't faze him. You continued screaming at each other, voices rising louder to outdo one another. 

And then the words came again. “I hate you Roronoa Zoro. I’ll never forgive you for this!” you screamed, and you stormed out the door, slamming it behind you. 

It was in the silence after that he realized the impact of your words. And he realizes that he’s scared. 

He tries to push down his anxiety by hiding in the crow’s nest and working out relentlessly. He’s avoiding everyone, but mostly you and your wrath.

He prays that you’ll come apologize to him, but after two days you still haven’t appeared in the crows nest. He’s constantly glancing out the deck, trying to find a glimpse of you whenever he can without getting caught. 

On the afternoon of the third day, he realizes he’ll have to spend another night without you if he doesn’t apologize soon, and he finally gives in. He climbs down the ladder and walks over to where you and Nami are sunning in some lounge chairs and stands over top of you, clearing his throat. “Can I talk to you alone?” his voice comes out irritated unintentionally.

“Not with that tone,” you shoot back, still mad at him. He grits his teeth, and you see a blush start to appear over his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, and you can hear that he’s being genuine. “I didn’t mean to make you so upset.”

You sigh and get up from the chair, leading him away to talk in private. He continues to apologize, asking you how he can do better in the future. 

You’re pleased with this development, and you give him a quick peck on the lips to show all is well again. “I’m sorry too,” you say. “I said a lot of things I didn’t mean.”

“So, we’re okay?” he asks, looking at you inquisitively. “We’re okay,” you assure him.

[hypewinter]

Bruce sighed. He was in over his head. Wayyyy over his head. Honestly he only had himself to blame. Really what was he thinking? He'd taken in one child and suddenly thought he was an expert in traumatized youths? He'd been overconfident and rash and now Danny was suffering for it and would probably hate him forever now and-

"I can hear you fidgeting through the door!" Came a voice that broke Bruce out of his spiral. There was a shuffle before the heavy wooden door swung open. A boy with floppy black hair and ice blue eyes stared up at him.

"You could've just knocked ya know?" Danny said.

Bruce fidgeted a little more, embarrassed that he'd been caught. "Bu- I thought you were-"

"Still mad at you?" Danny interrupted. "Yeah, I can tell by your face. You didn't even bother to wipe off your eyeshadow."

It was true. Bruce had rushed through patrol and gotten back home as quickly as possible. He'd barely shed his armor as he practically tripped over himself trying to get up to Danny's room. He had come up with and memorized the perfect apology to smooth things over between the two of them and had been dying to get it out before he messed anything else up. But now all the words he'd rehearsed left him.

"Wait. You're not angry?"

Danny leveled him with a blank stare as he leaned on the door frame. "Oh I'm always angry. Just not at you. At least not right now."

Upon seeing Bruce struggle to form words, Danny continued. "You were right," he said. "I shouldn't have beat up Dylan and his little minions. I knew they were intentionally trying to goad me into hitting them and I did it anyway. I-I'm sorry."

For the first time since their conversation began, Danny looked away. His look of mild annoyance was now replaced with one of shame.

"I just- they were making fun of my family. Saying stuff like 'they were small town trash and no one would miss them'. And that comment just set me off." Tears were now springing to Danny's eyes as anger took over his features.

Danny's hands balled into fists as he continued. "I couldn't just let that go. Especially not when they're the ones that are trash. They're so bothered by a 'commoner' wearing the same uniform as them that they feel the need to persistently bully me even when I have nothing to do with them. We don't share any classes, I eat lunch alone, I'm not in any clubs or extracurriculars and if I had a choice I wouldn't even be going to that damn school to begin with!"

Tears were freely streaming down Danny's cheeks as he stopped to catch his breath. His whole body was shuddering with fury. Bruce carefully put a hand on the boy's shoulder, ready to back off if Danny pulled away but he leaned in instead. Given the go ahead, Bruce carefully pulled Danny into a hug, slowly patting his back.

It took a while before either of them spoke. "I know what they said was out of line," Bruce started. "And trust me, they'll definitely receive punishment. But-"

"I know, I know," Danny murmured, turning his face to the side while still clutching onto Bruce's shirt. "Sending 5 boys to the hospital with my training is still bad."

After staying like that for a while, Danny finally looked up at Bruce. "Am I gonna be expelled?" he asked.

Bruce gave a soft smile. "Don't worry. You'll be fine. I promise."

Danny finally pulled away, rubbing at his face with his sleeve and returned Bruce's smile with a toothy one of his own. "You're gonna bribe them or something aren't you? There's gonna be a conveniently placed donation or something. You're just like those rich pricks," he teased.

"Heyyyy! How come Danny gets to cuss?" came a small voice from beyond the shadows of Danny's room. Soon enough, Dick made himself seen, Zitka cradled in his arms as he sleepily stolled forth.

"He's not," Bruce answered quickly. They had just convinced Dick to use more "colorful" insults as opposed to outright cursing and Bruce for one was not willing to face Alfred's wrath if he reverted back. A side glance at Danny told him the exact same thought was running through the boy's mind too. Leave it to Alfred to put the fear of God into two vigilantes who beat up criminals every night.

Dick yawned as he reached out for Bruce. "Then why'd he just say-"

"Don't tell Alfred and you'll have my dessert for a week," Danny interrupted in a panic.

Dick grinned. "Deal," he said as Bruce picked him up. The little boy blinked his eyes a few times before falling back asleep in Bruce's embrace.

Danny halfheartedly glared at the sleeping child. "I swear that kid is gonna grow up to be a politician the way he manipulates like that."

All Bruce could do was sigh. After all Danny was probably onto something. Dick knew very well the influence he had on others and never shied away from using it. It was very likely that he would be holding this particular little incident over their heads for at least the next two weeks.

Bruce looked at Danny, a thought suddenly dawning on him. "Why was Dick sleeping in your room? Did he have a nightmare again?" he asked, shifting the conversation.

Danny shook his head. "Nah. He just insisted that we both make up. He wouldn't leave until I agreed. That kid really doesn't know the meaning of 'no'."

Bruce felt his heart melt as he looked down at the boy in his arms. Why was Dick such a sweet child?

Danny grinned as he started heading downstairs. "Don't get all sappy yet. He was also walking me through his plan of how he got back at Dylan and his gang for my suspension."

The smile dropped from Bruce's face. "Wh... what do you mean revenge? Danny? Danny!?"

I told y'all I'd do it myself if I had to.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 79

Jaskier and Geralt have confessed and gotten together, and Jaskier couldn't be happier. It's like a dream come true, being able to kiss Geralt. Jaskier learns that Geralt isn't a big fan of PDA, a tad troublesome for him, but he'll learn and grow to be a better lover for his witcher! He just might forget and try to kiss him a few times before it actually stays in his noggin! However he also learned that Geralt.. Doesn't like talking about them in public. Or insinuating them in public. Jaskier can't even make dirty jokes or ask Geralt where they should go out on dates. Geralt hisses for him to stop talking about it and glances around. Jaskier has been longing to eat at this one fine restaurant in a crowded town for months, and they have a chance to! There's a table still open! With a vase of flowers, and candles, and a dark red tablecloth, and they're sat right next to a small stage where the performers play! Jaskier goes to sit down, only for Geralt to drag him out by the arm, saying that they can't eat there. Jaskier is of course asks if there's poison in the food, or a monster infesting the eatery, only to get a grunt. "Really, Geralt, why can't we eat there?" "We just... Can't." Jaskier just assumes the owners must be some sort of witcher-hating pricks who tried to... To sell Geralt their daughter in exchange for wanting him to kill something that doesn't need to be killed or... Or some other really hateable things. A pity, he's heard amazing things about that place.. But all is well! Soon enough, they head to an inn, and get settled in a room. Jaskier tries his best to seduce his boyfriend, but Geralt just glances around their room and shakes his head. "Not now." Jaskier shrugs, and heads down to play for some coin, and perhaps get a bit tipsy for the fun of it all. He wakes up the next morning with quite an awful headache, and a very annoyed-looking Geralt. Jaskier apologizes for going overboard with the drinks, but Geralt huffs and says that isn't what's upsetting him. What upset him is Drunk Jaskier telling people that he and Geralt are together. But come onnn! Everyone's been saying "The bard is fucking the butcher" for over a decade! Surely some villager's account of a drunk bard saying the same isn't worth all the fuss Geralt is making over it. Another night, Jaskier is sat by the campfire, idly strumming his lute. "Annnd even though today I had to hide in a tree~ I love my witcher, and my witcher loves me~" Geralt suddenly loses his focus and turns sharply to Jaskier. "That's a new song." "It's not a song, I'm just making things up for fun." "So it's not in your song journal?" "...No?" "Good." 'Good'? Jaskier could just play it off as another one of Geralt's teases about disliking his music, but something about this in particular made Jaskier feel nauseous. A week or so after that, Jaskier has finished his set and is excitedly skipping off to meet back up with Geralt when he overhears some conversation from where Geralt is sat. "Your bard sings well!" "He's not my bard." "No? I thought I heard you two were together." "No. Acquaintances at best. Hardly know him." Acquaintances at best? Acquaintances? Jaskier knows Geralt has been offput by the idea of telling people they are romantically involved, but he couldn't even muster up a 'No, we're just friends.' He's STILL not a 'friend'? That's when it clicks for Jaskier. Oh. Geralt's ashamed of him.

Is it because he's a man? Would Geralt be proud to show off his lover if his lover were female? Is it because of Jaskier's looks? He's been told he's rather attractive, but perhaps he looks quite small and delicate beside a witcher. He didn't think Geralt would care for such things, though. Perhaps it's his personality. Maybe the lighthearted remarks between the two of them were more barbed on Geralt's side than Jaskier at first thought. Maybe Geralt really hates his singing, or how much he talks, or how often he turns things into an innuendo. Is he just some quick fuck in the woods? The second they hit civilization he's not even a friend? Jaskier slips back up to their room, completely forgetting to let Geralt know where he is. Oh well. If Geralt gives a shit he can sniff out Jaskier's perfume. For now, Jaskier is going to curl up in their bed and try not to cry. Jaskier and Geralt have confessed and gotten together, and Geralt couldn't be happier. It's like a dream come true, being able to kiss Jaskier. But Geralt has to keep in mind how many enemies he has out there. Personal, blind hatred based on his reputation, blind hatred based on him being a witcher, the list goes on. Geralt worried for Jaskier enough as it is when they were best friends. Geralt would be powerless and completely devastated if anyone were to take Jaskier. Geralt would be putty in their hands if they so much as threatened the bard's life. Now that they're lovers? Geralt cringes to think at how many people would be chomping at the bit for an opportunity to kill the Butcher's one true love. To use him as a hostage for Geralt to do their bidding. For them to torture Jaskier in the hopes of learning things about Geralt. So Geralt makes a plan. He'll keep Jaskier at an arm's length whenever he thinks anyone could see or hear them. It's exceptionally hard not kissing the hell out of his bard whenever he feels like it, but he must practice restraint in order to keep him safe. Jaskier keeps making it harder on him, though. Kissing him, wanting to go eat at some romantic place, telling every soul he can how much he and Geralt are inseparable soulmates who can't live without one another, all in front of so many people. Any one of which could be just too loose-lipped. Any one of which could lead to a snowballing effect that ends in his beloved Jaskier's harm or death. Geralt just can't wait until Winter comes. He plans on bringing Jaskier with him, and they'll be able to do whatever they want the entire winter, with no fear.

[arc852]

Gosh, I have no idea how I'm going to put this into words but I'm gonna try my best.

I have a lot of feelings about Jimmy's canary status and such.

For four seasons he has been the first out, he's the canary. He signals the start of the end and for four seasons that was very true. And Jimmy hated it. He hated being out first everytime. Everyone around him either pitied him or made fun of him for being out first and Jimmy started to hate himself for how bad he was at the game.

And then came Secret Life.

As we all know, he wasn't the first out. And he was ecstatic. Even after dying second not ten minutes later, he cared more about the fact that he wasn't out first. He claimed the curse was broken and now we continue to see this into Wild Life.

Now, where am I going with this?

I think the Watchers are doing this on purpose.

There has always been something about Jimmy that the Watchers have clung on to. And up until this point, I thought the Watchers despised him. I mean, being the one cursed to always be out first, to be the one that warns your friends of their deaths, that's not fun. That's straight up torture.

But now, I don't think they despise him. I think they see to use him.

Think about it! The Watchers, for four seasons, have pummeled Jimmy's self confidence into the ground. Has made everyone see him as a loser. He started getting hopeless, started feeling like nothing was ever going to change.

And then it did change, in Secret Life, and he wasn't out first. Now, being out second is really not any better but it wasn't about that. Jimmy was starting to feel like, maybe he could actually do this! Maybe he could even win.

And then session 3 of Wild Life happened.

The Watchers did this on purpose. They gave him hope by not being out first in Secret Life and then let things get crazy in session 3 of Wild Life for Jimmy. Jimmy had it pretty bad in session 3 and I know a lot of us didn't have a lot of hope for him after that. Of course, session 4 went a different way than we were all expecting but again, that kind of plays into things.

The Watchers have torn Jimmy down, given him a little hope, and then tore him down again. And they did this to get Jimmy right where they wanted him.

Because Jimmy, before session 5, prayed to the Watchers. He asked them, begged them to please not let him be out first. To please let the canary curse well and truly die.

And they answered.

And Jimmy wasn't out first.

And now Jimmy is putty in their hands.

[gothamusing]

THE PENGUIN, EPISODE ONE. a collection of memes derived from episode one of the penguin series, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i see you've made yourself at home.

what the fսck are you talking about?

you got some big shoes to fill.

you think i'm an idiot?

we keep a stash in the loft if you want a hit.

that's not why i'm here.

you know what i like most about you? you are who you are. you couldn't change if you tried.

i'm talking about revolutionizing the game.

fuck. look at you salivating.

this is power, right?

when i was kid, there was a gangster, real old-school type. he was a big deal.

you want me to be like some small-time asshоlе?

this is your dream!

you really think people'd make a float of your dumb face and march it down the street, chanting your goddamn name?

what a little bitch.

you messed with the wrong fucking guy on the wrong fucking night!

jesus, take a breath.

hey, look at me.

how far do you think you'd get?

you and me, we're in this together now.

look what you fucking made me do.

you're gonna do everything i say.

i feel better. you feel better?

you ever been to that corner mart, next to the... uh, coin-o-matic?

they still sell those slush puppies?

you alone?

i need an alibi. ideally, for the whole night.

sounds like we had fun.

i asked for extra pickles, and they give me two? so what, a normal amount of pickles is one? makes no goddamn sense.

the smart play here is to kill you and stuff you in the trunk with stinky, be done with both of youse.

if you step out of line just once, i swear to god, I'll gut you like a fսcking fish. do you understand?

we ain't got a lot of time.

we all got our own vices.

nine times out of ten, these top-tier guys wanna meet face-to-face to feel big, so i make myself small, they feel better about themselves, and i get to go back to work.

i'm messing with you.

maybe look for your sense of humor. it's gotta be here somewhere.

so, uh, we got something to celebrate, or what?

this is my operation, you can't just shut it down.

there's blood in the water, everyone knows it.

the last thing we need is a god damn gang war!

you will do as you're told.

you're free to leave.

at the end of the day, this is all about money, right?

it's good to see you.

you've really moved up in the world, haven't you?

we're long overdue for a catch-up, you and me.

let's get a bite to eat.

my father used to bring me here when i was a kid. he paid me to keep my elbows off the table.

you think they're wondering if it's really me?

what did the gazette call me?

if only i'd been a dutiful daughter.

are you nervous?

i'd hate for you to feel nervous around me.

despite what you might think, i don't blame you.

how do you know about his plan, and why on earth would you pitch it as your own?

he's keeping us both in the dark, and i don't know why.

he's got a penchant for drops. and booze and gambling. i'm pretty sure he's got a sеx thing, too.

i was actually drowning my sorrows with my lady friend last night.

i doubt anything will turn up, but it's worth a shot.

i'm probably just being crazy.

thanks for lunch, i'll get the next one.

you know. people underestimate you, but not me.

i've always known you were capable of more.

scan the code. see gotham's true face.

get the fuck outta here.

i ain't never taken anyone here before.

what're you doing here?

what do you mean what am i doing here? i came to see you.

i got you something. come here.

what did you do?

wait. was i expecting you?

we're gonna leave town for a while.

someone's here.

will you tell me first what i did to lose your respect?

it ain't safe for you here. you understand?

why'd you shoot him?

now, can we go please?

it was impulsive. it was stupid. is that what you wanna hear?

jesus, i'm trying to take care of you.

i can't risk it.

i can't risk you.

look at me.

don't you see, dear? what you did wasn't impulsive. it was instinctual.

you're so close now to having everything you ever wanted, everything you deserve.

this city is meant to be yours, sweetheart.

i've been where you are.

they don't even know what they got, 'cause they always had it.

i wanna offer my services to you and your family.

oh, you wanna throw stones?

from where i sit, and where you sit, i don't think you're in a position not to hear me out.

i could give you everything you need.

revenge don't come easy.

he was a dirty rat.

he played us both for fools.

but he's dead, and i'm here now, and i'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime.

i know a lot more than people think.

you and me, we can tear down their fսcking empire from the inside out.

what is it you're really after?

i know who you are. i know what you are.

i don't work with people whose loyalty is for sale.

you think i forgot all the times you schmoozed me and my boys just to turn around and fսck us?

look, i can see you're upset. trust takes time. but this ain't bullshit.

it's good seeing you. you look good.

it's a terrible feeling, isn't it?

i just wonder how you see me.

that's what you wanted, right?

you are so good at talking your way out of things.

it's just you and me now, okay?

am i crazy?

tell me that i'm too emotional, and that i have an overactive imagination, and that i shouldn't take things so personally.

what the fuck is this?

you did good today.

didn't we agree the head alone would be the most poetic, and the pinky, the cherry on top?

yeah. at least (blank) got the message.

from here on out, there's no more playing it safe.

i'm gonna run this goddamn city.

[thepersonperson]

I just want to say that I really love your analysis on Gojo and Sukuna a lot.

Can I ask for analysis of Sukuna and Yuji dynamics? It's okay if you take awhile to answer this.

(Answered as of JJK 262 using TCB Scans.)

Oh boy this one is fun!

I see Sukuna and Yuji as opposite sides of the same coin. They both have the same kind of tools but wind up at completely different conclusions because of their own personal biases.

By the way, thank you for breaking my brain anon. I'm going to consider this yet another part of my attempt to grasp Sukuna's character.

Sukuna's Loneliness Part 3 (Sukuna's hatred of Yuji is jealousy.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Click images for captions/citations.

Yuji and Sukuna's Shrine

Gege does this really clever thing where kanji used to describe a Cursed Technique (CT) have multiple readings, especially if you look past the initial proposed reading. In a way, this is teaching you how to read the text. The face-value reading, albeit true, hides another reading underneath.

Dismantle comes from the kanji 解 (Kai). This kanji can mean to unravel, to explain, to understand, to solve, to cut. It’s first introduced with chef knives which pushes the reader to interpret the meaning as “to cut”. However, this doesn't mean it's not carrying the other readings at the same time. The cutting is not simply cutting, it's a purposeful unraveling in search of an answer—in other words, dismantling.

Another good translation of 解 (Kai) would be Dissect. Though dismantle gets across a similar feeling, dissect invokes a more intimate and purposeful imagery to the cutting. Both of translations are good in their own ways. It's a matter of preference for which is better.

My point here is that the technique itself indicates the user is trying to understand something closely. The surface reading isn't sufficient for the user, the insides, the guts are what they're after. Both Yuji and Sukuna embody this desire to understand others in completely opposite directions.

Yuji, Human Golden Retriever

Yuji is wholly devoted to understanding others. He unravels the hearts of those around him by being himself. Similar to Sukuna, he also mimics people he admires. Not only in battle, but casually as well, pair bonding with just about anyone who will let him.

The mimicry aspect of Yuji here is very important because it demonstrates he is trying to understand other people on their own terms and not his own. Yuji engages everyone as themselves and accepts them as they are. Him having no braincells is a boon because it means he can absorb others' with ease.

I'm extremely fond of Yuji's pair bonding with Gojo in particular. In great length I've explained how Gojo's inability to deeply connect with others since his breakup with Geto was isolating and dehumanizing. Yuji is the first person since then to match his energy exactly and without question. Usually other characters get irritated with his shenanigans and can't follow him in conversation. Yuji consistently keeps up with him in that regard even if he's confused. In this way, Yuji has done the impossible, he has gotten past some of Gojo's emotional barriers and connected with him.

This type of seemingly impossible connection is not limited to Gojo, my other favorite being Junpei. Up until Yuji meets him, Junpei is effectively groomed by Mahito into hating other people. Mahito teaches him distrust and to see human ugliness first. Junpei starts to believe everyone is rotten and therefore ok to kill. But Yuji meets him by chance and does this:

All that time Mahito spent molding Junpei into someone worse flies right out the window because Yuji wins him over by being genuine. This is the crux of Yuji's character.

Yuji's Unyielding Spirit

Just about everyone is won over by Yuji's persistent unending good boy energy, even the people who try to kill him (Megumi, the Kyoto students, Choso, Hakari, Higurama, etc.). His most interesting converts are Higurama and Hakari in my opinion. This is because Yuji's steadfast devotion to others defies their world views.

After a lifetime's worth of heartbreak as a public defender, Higurama believes that deep down all people are hideous (similar to Junpei). He's ready to kill Yuji until he takes the blame for something he didn't do. It so thoroughly shakes him that he has a meltdown over the chapter and ultimately concludes he was in the wrong.

Yuji doesn't try to make Higurama understand him here. All he does is be himself and it forces Higurama to undergo character growth that ultimately results in him understanding Yuji.

Yuji does the exact same thing to Hakari but in a different way. Hakari believes in the selfish types who are passionate in their own pursuits. He's a lot like Sukuna in that way, he straight up calls Yuji boring for doing things on the behalf of others.

Yuji doesn't care though. He's got a clear goal and he's chasing it. Hakari knocking him down over and over does nothing. Unlike with Higurama, Yuji explains exactly how he sees himself and that if Hakari can't handle it, he'll keep getting back up until he accepts it. And it works. Eventually Hakari can see the "fever" of someone who is nothing like him.

These two converts best illustrate how Yuji is the embodiment of unwavering humanity. He does things for other people and he will keep doing things for other people even it brings him pain or death. If you don't understand that kind of mentality, he'll let you pummel him until you do.

Also notice how he never once tells his converts they are wrong to think the way they do. This acceptance of their differences is very important and will be coming up later.

Yuji's Love

Yuji connects with others through mimicry (and so does Sukuna). This, of course, is an expression of love. But what really sets his love apart from others' is his ability to perceive people and their emotions—he notices things about them no one else would.

I include the bout with Panda in this collage since their entire conversation occurs nonverbally. Yuji infers how Panda is feeling and what his goals are by sparing through a fake duel. All of this shows that despite Yuji's low general intelligence, his emotional intelligence is unparalleled. In a way, this ability of his to read others is him taking after both Kenjaku and Sukuna. But he doesn't use this insight to torment others, he uses it to befriend them.

This understanding of others is not limited to those Yuji is friendly with too. Hated people and things are something he is willing to engage without hostility.

I'm using the anime screencap because Yuji immediately accepting cursed objects, Sukuna's in particular, as something to be cherished instead of scorned really needs to be talked about more. And of course his acceptance of Todo (who is just like Sukuna for reasons we will get into later) is nearly just as important as him understanding Sukuna enough to utilize him against Mahito. These are both people, despised by most of the cast, that Yuji is willing to accept and work with on their own terms.

I often use the lens of analysis in which Umineko gave me: "Without love it cannot be seen." This is referring to how one needs to set aside their negative biases and assumptions to properly see the motives behind an action. It's sort of like giving someone the benefit of the doubt in your attempt to understand them. I think Yuji is the personification of this concept. And that's why Sukuna cannot stand him.

Sukuna, King of Miscommunication

The way in which Sukuna goes about understanding others is the polar opposite of Yuji and deeply perverse. It's like how a shark uses its mouth to explore the world. Instead of using his words, Sukuna uses his cutting to feel others out. And much like a shark, the exploratory bite and attacking bite are extremely different in action despite both resulting in the same level of harm or death when experienced.

Take notice of how happy Sukuna is when cutting his playmates. He doesn't kill them immediately and uses the information from his slashes to gain a better understanding of them. This is how Sukuna interacts with the world.

It's easy to dismiss sharks as evil since their bites do harm to humans no matter the context. But if you try to understand them on shark terms, they're actually pretty adorable. In other words, without love it (shark cuteness) cannot be seen. Please keep this in mind as I attempt to convince you Sukuna is peak gap moe.

Sukuna's Affection

Sukuna is very similar to Gojo in that he displays affection in very bizarre and unpleasant ways. But unlike Gojo who just verbally assaults people, Sukuna straight up assaults them. He's more than happy to give people compliments for their efforts, but it comes at the price of enduring his violence.

As you can see some of these compliments coincide with attempts to teach his opponent how to be a better fighter. And this is where Sukuna's affection shines the most—when he reaches out to his opponent and tries to connect with them and understand them through battle.

However...every single time Sukuna tries to bond with someone this way, they try to kill him. It's kind of hilarious.

He tries to connect with the Finger Bearer, a curse of all things. Rejected.

He tries to connect with Megumi after showing him his heart. Rejected.

He tries to connect with Higurama after cutting his limbs off. Rejected.

He tries to connect with Maki via an unhinged high-praise yapfest. Rejected.

No one here engages Sukuna's dialogue. They ignore his words entirely to focus on killing him. The only time anyone listens to him is if they're Uraume, actively dying, or Kashimo.

As you can see, Sukuna primarily expresses affection through violence. It's always accompanied by a smile and sometimes a backhanded compliment. No one can recognize this as affection because getting bit by a shark hurts regardless of intent. That being said, this affectionate violence differs greatly when compared to the violence inflicted out of aggravation.

Sukuna's Pickiness

Sukuna shows his displeasure through cutting as well. This usually occurs when people reach out to him without his explicit permission. Though Sukuna is eager to form bonds with others to some degree, he absolutely loathes when expectations are thrust onto him by another party.

That kind of relationship is transactional and not between equals. They don't want Sukuna for himself, they want Sukuna for themselves. Yorozu is the epitome of this and Sukuna treats her accordingly.

Notice how in both of these instances Sukuna's expression is the furthest thing from pleased. Yorozu does recognize his loneliness but disregards how he wants to deal with it. Sukuna cuts her to keep her away from him, not to understand her, and she doesn't get it. (Also note how he refuses to use his Shrine on her in their battle. Which we’ve established as Sukuna’s tool for understanding others. He wants so little to do with her it’s funny.)

Mahito also winds up on the receiving end of "get the fudge away from me" slashes despite initially bonding with Sukuna over Yuji's suffering. They inadvertently disrespect Sukuna's boundaries through unwanted contact, much like Yorozu, leading to this reaction. (To be fair, having your soul touched by a stranger sounds pretty upsetting.) Framing Sukuna's dislike of Mahito as an annoyed hostess vs a touchy patron in joke panels is a great way to illustrate how much he values this particular boundary.

Once again, Sukuna's expressions are very clear in their disgust. These cuts are to be read as hostile. When Sukuna cuts others in this manner, he is not trying to understand them.

Sukuna's Missed Connections

Now that we know how to read Sukuna's intent through how he cuts, we can also read his mood during fights and infer how he feels about other characters.

Jogo

In this post I kind of went over why Jogo wound up being favored by Sukuna. But let's break it down some more.

Jogo started in Sukuna's doghouse. His body language, facial expressions, and treatment of Jogo initially indicates Sukuna categorized Jogo amongst the likes of Mahito and Yorozu (he did touch his face without permission). Then Jogo said he wanted nothing of Sukuna, and everything changed.

Sukuna smiles at him and plays with him in the exact same manner he tried to with the Finger Bearer and Megumi earlier. He tries to coax Jogo into going all out while taking the time to figure out why he doesn't.

And perhaps learning from past mistakes, or Yuji (though he'd probably never admit it), Sukuna engages with Jogo on his terms—fire power. This mirroring is a show of respect and an attempt to learn more about Jogo.

This is the first time we see Sukuna do such a thing. And in return he gains a deeper understanding of Jogo for it while seeing him off into the afterlife.

Another first for Sukuna, he makes a meaningful connection through combat with Jogo who listens to him and accepts him as he is. Sukuna gasses him up while simultaneously putting him down, eventually ending on a genuine compliment, believing Jogo could've become an equal to Gojo Satoru. ...And then that blossoming relationship burns to ash by Sukuna's own hands.

This is where Yuji succeeds and Sukuna fails. Yuji's love builds and Sukuna's love kills.

The main takeaways from Sukuna vs Jogo are:

>Sukuna's facial expressions are a strong indicator of how he feels about someone. (Glaring at Jogo initially when he felt disrespected and then smiling at Jogo when he became interested in him.)

>Sukuna will offer aid to those who don't demand it of him. (Promising to kill all the humans in Shibuya on Jogo's behalf and giving permission for Jogo to boss him around if certain conditions are met.)

>Sukuna holds back during fights with those he wants to understand. (Playing with Jogo and trying to coax him into fighting harder.)

>Sukuna mimics others as a form of respect. (Fire vs fire showdown.)

>Sukuna is interested in the internal logic of his opponents. (Asking why Jogo doesn't use his domain and being intrigued by his attempt to become human.)

Keep all of this in mind as I use these points to revisit Sukuna's biggest missed connection.

Gojo Satoru

Jogo and Gojo as names are interesting in that they're inverses of each other if you go by the hiragana in Japanese. I think this was deliberate. It's not a coincidence that Jogo is someone Sukuna learned he was compatible with through fighting. Nor is it a coincidence Sukuna tried to understand him on his own terms in a way that killed him. This fight winds up being a blueprint for how Sukuna attempts to connect with Gojo Satoru.

The culmination of Sukuna's attempts to understand someone other than himself is Gojo Satoru. A whole 6 months in the making, the effort Sukuna puts towards others doesn't compare. He saw the potential in Megumi and found Mahoraga, blowing up half of Shibuya to tame it. He stole Megumi's body and subjugated his soul to obtain it, using his sister/Yorozu as calibration. And he explicitly states all this was for cutting through Gojo's Infinity.

All this prep work to kill one guy, and his loved ones are tormented for it. Gojo's prized student, Megumi (who Gojo treats like a son) is bathed in curses for days and has his sister murdered by his own CT. Sukuna picked through Megumi's memories as a part of this strategy, which means he has access to these two conversations.

A very selfish dream on Gojo's end, the desire for an equal he saw in Megumi more than any other student. In other words, a little piece of Gojo's internal logic that reveals a path for exploitation. And exploit it Sukuna does, deliberately wearing Megumi's face to mess with other sorcerers.

But that's probably not the whole truth here. Though Kenjaku and Yorozu understand Sukuna to an extent, they don't understand him fully. It's definitely true he used Megumi's face to better subjugate his new vessel and throw off Gojo. And it wouldn't be wrong to assume Sukuna did this out of malice. However...

Without love it cannot be seen gives me a framework to view these actions as something beyond hatred towards Gojo. It allows me to entertain a hypothetical where this a twisted display of affection. But it doesn't give me the evidence for this. So for this dissection, I'm using another important tool from Umineko: "Flipping over the chessboard." This refers to how one should try to see things from a different perspective.

For example, many people interpreted "The one who will teach you about love is..." during their fight being about Gojo trying to teach Sukuna love.

I decided to flip over the chessboard and came to the conclusion: The one who will teach you about love is...Sukuna.

I supported this claim with the conversation where Sukuna teaches love to Kashimo while alluding that Gojo needed teaching. And now I flip over the chessboard again. If Sukuna sees himself as a teacher of love, was Sukuna vs Gojo an attempt at education?

I reread the fight again and found this:

It's very clear that the one being satisfied in this instance is Gojo and by Sukuna. This battle is technically everything Gojo hoped for from Megumi. The potential of the 10 Shadows is maximized, Mahoraga is tamed, and the Infinity Gojo has longed for someone to pierce since Toji is obliterated.

The one satisfying him now is...Sukuna.

The one who will teach you about love is...Sukuna.

The parallel syntax and a definitive answer. I'm more confident that this is how the blank is to be filled. And that's why I don't know how to interpret this fight anymore.

This story repeatedly emphasizes how selfish Sukuna is. It beats you over the head with how self-centered and uncaring his conduct is. So why is it that he has seemingly gone out of his way to satisfy Gojo on his own terms?

There's not enough information. Did Sukuna hold back with Gojo because Megumi was still resisting him, or was it an attempt to mimic Yuji and connect with him? Did he use Megumi's body and face after reading his memories to better torment Gojo or was it give him satisfaction?

So I flip over the chessboard and go back to Jogo.

Gojo didn't ask anything of Sukuna just like Jogo. Neither of them asked to have their strength validated. Sukuna is the one who came after them.

Sukuna expressed his gratitude towards Jogo for wanting nothing of him by helping him with his objective. He killed all humans in the area as he promised and gave Jogo a chance to ask for more. Instead of slaughtering Jogo instantly, Sukuna played around with him while trying to understand him, all smiles, both backhandedly and genuinely complimenting him as he died.

...And it appears that Sukuna has done the same thing for Gojo too.

According to this post 龍鱗 (ryuurin) translates to dragon scales and "describes the basic application of Limitless, a strong defensive barrier like the scales of a dragon." This reference is also Buddhist in nature likening these scales/Gojo to a "dangerous divine power/authority", aka someone more than just a fish.

Now take this hidden meaning and Sukuna's 6 month long obsession with cutting through Infinity. Take how he describes the World Slash as something that reaches its target by making them the center of Sukuna's world. And remember that this solution is a modified Dismantle—the tool which Sukuna uses to connect with and understand others.

Sukuna made Gojo Satoru the center of his world in an attempt to understand him. He cut through Infinity in the exact way Gojo has always wanted to satisfy him. This could be read as flirtation since Sukuna has told Kashimo violence is how he loves. Just as he did with Jogo, Sukuna killed Gojo with his love.

The biggest difference between how Jogo and Gojo are treated is the complete lack of Sukuna in Gojo's afterlife. Jogo let Sukuna in and they bonded in death. Gojo seemingly kept Sukuna out, choosing to be surrounded by those he felt close with as a teenager, and waxed on about how it's hard to be understood. The irony is staggering.

It's possible that Sukuna expected Gojo to let him in during death so he could learn the unspoken secrets of his most favorite plaything. There’s also the possibility Sukuna was privy to Gojo’s afterlife scene and became acutely aware Geto still had Gojo’s heart entirely. (I don't think this the case since Sukuna is bright-eyed and smiling after that sequence.) Either way, Gojo failed to realize Sukuna was trying to reach him and inadvertently rejected him.

I flip over the chessboard again, revisiting Sukuna's lecture on love to Kashimo assuming that Sukuna attempted to teach Gojo love and failed. And now I don't know how to interpret his conversation with Kashimo either.

Is he simply saying love is worthless because all he values is strength? Or is he lamenting that each and every time he has tried to love his heart has been trampled? Could it be both?

Sukuna loves eating and humans are amongst his favorite meals. In that way, he does need someone else to be satisfied. Yet he insists on the contrary all while looking for companionship with anything that moves. Sukuna has gone his entire life not caring for others. But his fights with Jogo and Gojo demonstrate the opposite. Post-Gojo death, his expressions are ones of boredom and he is far more depressed. When his opponents most resemble Gojo, his smile returns.

Sukuna is too much like Gojo here, his 2 birds 1 stone approach to obfuscating his true feelings makes him very hard to read. It really doesn't help that instead of saying "I love you" Sukuna cuts people to pieces with a smile on his face. Forget about the gap moe. Sukuna is the most tsundere of sharks.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni (When the Seagulls Cry) is a visual novel about a person who is fundamentally misunderstood by those around them. They desperately want to be loved without being perceived, believing themself to be unworthy due to trauma and immutable characteristics given to them at birth. Instead of telling anyone these feelings directly, they play games akin to torture. They torment the ones they love over and over in hopes they'll see through their actions and understand them.

The Uncle vs Nephew Problem

What does Sukuna's inability to socialize have to do with Yuji? Well...everything. Remember that similar to Yuji, Sukuna rejected Mahito—the manifestation of the hatred between humans. Symbolically, this suggests Sukuna doesn't hate humans as much as he appears to. And from how he interacts with others, this may be the case.

Sukuna tries to be himself to connect with others and fails miserably. But Yuji? He breathes and makes 10 friends instantly. And even worse, he can fight others to understand them without killing them. Either with words or with fists, Yuji can make the connections using the very tools that isolate Sukuna.

So Sukuna falls back on isolation being strength. It's fine that he's all alone because it's what makes him strong. ...And in complete opposition to that philosophy (which is a huge cope), Yuji grows through his connections with other people.

Isolation vs Cooperation

Yuji is the undisputed king of running duos, in part because he can decenter himself at will to sync up with others. It doesn't matter how well he knows them or how long he's been around them, he will find a a way to be the best support they've ever received.

Sukuna doesn't believe in this kind of cooperation or other people. But he still respects Gojo and Megumi who do, so why does Yuji piss him off? I think it's because Yuji rubs his ability to love and grow from others in Sukuna's face, constantly.

Whether he's trapped in his body or on the receiving end of his friendship beatdowns, Sukuna has been present for each and every bonding moment Yuji has through fighting. Sukuna has an involuntary front row seat to Yuji's defiance of everything he stands for.

He's forced to watch Yuji learn how to Black Flash by cooperating with Todo. And since then, Yuji has learned to proc it with anyone he pairs up with.

Near death and with Nobara? No problem.

Things look hopeless and the shiestiest guy around is barely hanging on to his dead mentor's memento? 2 Black Flashes.

Yuji is even able to sync up with a guy he's never met, whose name he doesn't know to pull off this.

And of course we can't leave out Todo Aoi himself who maximizes Yuji's black flash efficiency.

This shakes Sukuna to the soul because holy fudge, Yuji is starting to become just as strong as him without mercilessly abandoning his humanity.

And that might mean Sukuna was wrong to suffer isolation in the pursuit of strength. That would mean Sukuna endured a lifetime of misunderstanding and loneliness for no greater purpose. In fact, he might be stronger if he had someone else to grow with. Which means he could've had love and strength.

That's a painful reality to confront. It's no wonder most of the black flashes Yuji lands on Sukuna are over his broken heart.

Selfishness vs Selflessness

Earlier I claimed that Sukuna and Todo are the same kind of person. This is because they're both extremely egocentric individuals who categorize people worth their time by boring or interesting. They both hate taking orders from the people they deem boring and go about understanding people through combat. And just about everyone hates them for being this way. The difference between them is Yuji and restraint with their opponents. (Todo doesn't outright kill the boring people, he just beats them half to death. And though he beats up the interesting people too, he allows them to grow for the next time.)

Note how Yuji matches Todo's communication style. He chooses to learn about Todo through combat and their relationship grows along with their strength, all without death. Yuji understands Todo and Todo understands Yuji. This is exactly what Sukuna has been trying to do.

Now Todo sees Yuji as his brother, aka someone with the potential to rise to his level and beyond. He doesn't mind at all that Yuji fights for others and Yuji doesn't mind that Todo fights to stave off boredom. Their relationship shows that someone as selfish and isolated as Todo (aka Sukuna) is capable of coexisting and growing with someone.

Sukuna rejects this on principle, going out of his way to destroy Yuji's bonds and ideals. He mocks his cog mentality and lectures him on this weakness. But like the fraud he is, Sukuna copies Yuji and obtains greater power by becoming obsessed with someone other than himself.

His fight with Gojo and the preparation up to it mirrors everything he hates about Yuji. Sukuna learns all about Gojo Satoru to find a way to kill him. He engages the fight on Gojo's terms and reaches out to satisfy him. And worst of all Sukuna grows through this—he upgrades his CT by making someone else the center of his world.

The fact this happened means Yuji was right about everything, so all Sukuna has left is denial. Yuji is boring, he's a brat, he's weak, he'll never reach his level. Because if he does, well, Sukuna's entire world view falls apart.

We saw this with Higurama and Hakari vs Yuji. Both of them eventually accepted that these differing ideas can exist together. Sukuna can't be like them since he keeps borrowing Yuji's tactics instead of sticking to his own ideas. He's defrauded himself and Yuji has to pay for this.

Rejection vs Acceptance

So that's the rub. Yuji is strong and properly loved through his unwavering good boy energy alone and this breaks Sukuna's brain. It's hard to read this as anything other than jealousy since Sukuna is watching Yuji obtain the things he's been denied using the exact same toolkit. And though Sukuna rejects Yuji for this, Yuji accepts Sukuna for what he is, just as he does everyone else.

All Sukuna has do is accept that Yuji's way of thinking is just as valid as his. But he can't since they're too similar. Yuji's existence forces Sukuna to confront a reality he's not emotionally equipped to handle. Instead of facing these emotional problems head on, he buries them and blames everyone else in a combination of envy and denial.

Deep down Sukuna knows he's in the wrong, otherwise Yuji's punches wouldn't shake his soul.

[radioapplerevue]

See a lot of questions scattered about regarding "Why do people even ship Lucifer or Alastor? They hate each other/Lucifer's married/Alastor's ace etc etc etc." And while I doubt most people are asking in good faith, I figured I'd give my answer anyway! In part because these two in conjunction with each other fascinate me and I want to talk about it.

First off, you have Alastor, this character whose whole shtick is trying to convince everyone around him all the time that he's the most mysterious and most dangerous person around. And... he's not. We know he's not. Hell, he's not even in tier 3 of "dangerous people in Hell." But it's very important to him that he is perceived that way, and he goes to great lengths to manufacture and maintain that image.

Then you have Lucifer, who is the most dangerous person in Hell, power-wise, by far. But he doesn't seem to give a shit about that at all. His power means little to him, he didn't want the throne, he doesn't do anything with this position that Alastor would do everything to have. Lucifer is a deeply broken individual whose only concern is his family, and he's not intimidated by Alastor in any way, and never will be.

So he was pretty much tailor-made for Alastor to hate. This guy who has everything Alastor wants, but doesn't give a shit about having it, who he can't scare. Ever. The only way he can get under Lucifer's skin is by digging into his emotional sore spots, and boy howdy does Lucifer have a lot of those. And here's the fun thing! Or one of the fun things, anyway. Most people, even in Hell, would never dare to try and upset Lucifer. Upset the King of Hell? That's suicide, right?

But Alastor knows it's not, because he sees two things right off the bat: one, Lucifer wouldn't do anything to hurt Charlie, and hurting Alastor would do that -- and two, it's just not in Lucifer's nature to do so. Surprising for the King of Hell, but nonetheless true. Lucifer's a showy guy, but he's not a violent guy -- even against Adam, he only toyed with him until Adam made the mistake of going directly for Charlie a second time. Needless to say, it takes a lot to make Lucifer get violent, and it's unlikely to be anything that only targets himself.

And thus sets the stage for what is already a really fun and interesting dynamic, and one that can become even more so with time. Because these are two characters who treat each other in a way that nobody else can or will. Alastor can poke and prod and peel back Lucifer's scars and peer directly at his insecurities. Lucifer can give as good as he gets and challenge Alastor and there's nothing Alastor can do to scare him off. In short, they can make each other confront things that right now just aren't likely for other people.

I like to think eventually, once they get over the initial "how dare he, this isn't allowed, I hate everything about this" stage, they begin to actually... enjoy it. Enjoy the back and forth, enjoy hitting the ball to each other's court, enjoy having someone around who won't back down. And Lucifer is, at his core, sweet. How unsettling it must be for Alastor, to see this extremely powerful man who is also just. Good. How over ten millennia of pain haven't changed that, even as they crumbled his heart into little pieces.

I think Lucifer would fascinate Alastor. And I think Alastor, with all his idiosyncrasies, and his ballsy manner of never backing down from a challenge, would fascinate Lucifer too. And there are so, so many ways you could go from there. Darker ways, softer ways. But there's so much potential, and I am finding it an absolute blast to explore.

As for the ace thing, hello, hi! I'm aroace. And on the sex repulsed side, even! I shouldn't have to reveal this in order for people to get off my back, but hey, there you have it. Now please stop expecting people to volunteer their sexual orientations just so you can be sure they have the... what? Right? To ship things? I enjoy this ship in all flavors. A lot of people have been taking the time to explore asexuality in their fanworks with Alastor, and it's been a delight to see! But in the end, fandom is a sandbox, and I don't care how you are smashing your dolls together as long as you're having fun. And if seeing them in a particular configuration is uncomfortable for you, there's nothing wrong with that, either... just back out, and move on to things more pleasant.

And goodness, don't go after real actual people in defense of fictional ones.