#(not in the figurative sense i actually have a fever lmao) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miqojak · 11 months ago

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10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @dragonsongmakhali and @thefreelanceangel (thanks! I get around to tagged things eventually, lmao)

This isn't in any particular order, they're just in whatever order they came to mind! I'll also note that I've never really understood the concept of 'being in a fandom'? I just...like the thing? So I guess this is more like "A handful of my all time favorite characters, many of whom went on to inspire me to write similar OCs whether I realized it at the time or not." Anyways, I wax verbose on this, so...buckle up, and thanks ahead of time if you decide to read it all!

I'll go through my recent notifications to tag some folks who've interacted lately (also thanks, I've been very ill and out of it for what feels like months now...) @ashenbun, @the-sycophant, @eorzeanflowers, @iron-sparrow, @briar-ffxiv, @merlwybs-wife, @sundered-souls, @superbolided, @ahollowgrave

1. Harley Quinn, Batman

What's not to love? She's quirky, she's (incredibly) smart, she's bi, and she's just one of many female characters I love for being flawed, but better for it! She's dealing with mental illness, and feels like only this one person understands her - and having been wrapped around a narcissist's finger before? I get it. You don't realize they're a piece of shit until...one day you do, or one day your friends get through to you that this is unhealthy, and you're not really yourself around this person. I love that she gets to be her own character these days, and live her own life, and do what she wants to do (when she figures that out) - I actually love that she works more and more with the Batfam in recent material because...she was never a villain. She's always been chaotic neutral! She changed who she was for the Joker, and was always miserable and mistreated no matter how hard she tried to be exactly who and what he wanted (a mewling servant) - and more often than not, even when she did what she thought he wanted, he still punished and humiliated her (like when she almost killed Batman). Bruce has LONG been on Harley's side, and long tried to talk some sense into her...but I think they'd been 'at odds' for too long for his words to get through to her, and it took the initial mutual compassion (and eventual love) shared between her and Pamela for someone's 'get the fuck out' speech to finally sink in. And now she's a fully realized character/woman with her own goals, her own personality, her own style... and if people don't like that she can do crime AND do good stuff alongside the Batfam? They can fuck off - at least, I imagine she'd say that, tbh. It's her choice - she never wanted what the Joker wanted. She just wanted him to notice her. Now she can act on her whims, and live in the moment and live up to her fullest potential! (Plus, while I'm not Jewish, I love that she is! At least in most iterations that I've seen.)

I think 'hurt people hurt people' is another good tagline for her - because the instant she's shown real compassion...be it from Bruce-outside-the-suit, or Poison Ivy? You can see her heart. You can see the sweet, and loving person she is under all the performing...or 'masking', you might say. The tragic clown doesn't need your laughter... they need your compassion. They need you to listen.

2. Mackayla Lane, The Fever Series (I've read this series at least 6 times, and recommend you read it, too!)

Mackayla is a self-centered, pink-loving, girly-girl who doesn't think heavy thoughts - she likes to sunbathe, paint her nails, and enjoy lazy southern days by the pool, when she's not working part time as a bartender. Until her sister is murdered on a trip abroad, and in her fervor to find out what happened - and why it feels like nothing is being done about it - she picks up and goes to Ireland in search of clues her own damn self...and finds out about this whole hidden legacy of the Sidhe, Sidhe-Seers, and why/how she and her sister are tied into this world. It's such an emotional journey! She evolves into someone different a few times throughout this journey of grief, self-discovery, and...eventually, love. She learns to be more introspective, to be more aware of those around her, to look deeper in herself for strength, so as to never be a damsel in distress again - she fights furiously for a sister we never get to see alive. (and I love a good story about a character central to the plot who is dead before the story even begins, tbh.) She goes from someone I'd roll my eyes at, to someone I'd look up to, instead. She learns to be fierce, but not to lose her compassion in doing so. She learns to fight for not just herself, but others. She suffers, and it breaks her for a time - but she comes out of it stronger for it. She doesn't let it hold her down, anymore - she can't afford to, doesn't want to...she wants to fight back.

I love character development, and she's got it in spades...and that's not even touching on all the OTHER amazing characters around her in this series. Also, if you like a spicy slow-burn, this is it. 'Begrudging allies to lovers' is how I'd term it, I suppose. (I still long for a high production value show of this series...especially bc it would appeal to all kinds of people - it even goes post-apocalyptic later on! But not for the usual reasons.)

3. Margo Hanson, The Magicians (The show, not the books, for once)

Feminist icon without being 'cringe' about it - and has a line I love, later on, about how her father told her she could be anything she wanted...until she wanted to be those things. Suddenly, the world wanted her to pick - you can't be strong AND womanly; 'you can't have both,' they told her. And she said 'Fuck You', and did it anyways. She is impossibly strong, but even she feels deeply on the inside. She rarely, if ever, lets it show how heavy the weight of the world is...she just shoulders on, and does the things no one else will do. She stands up for what's right, and now and then she fucks things up, too...because she's only human. But she's never apologetic about who she is. She lives out loud, owns her body, owns her opinions, and the rest of the world better get the fuck out of her way, because she's got a witty one-liner...and a gun.

He's an alcoholic/addict, he's a wet rag, and he's basically the world's best occultist... whether you love him or hate him. (I love bisexuals getting the spotlight in media, so it's nice that he's that, too!) He's a rat bastard who's just trying to get by in a world that's chewed him up and spit him out time and time again - he drinks the pain away, he chases death, and...despite his best efforts, he lives. Because anytime he actually comes close to death, he realizes that it's all worth fighting for, actually - even if he always falls off the path again. Notably, neither he nor Harley Quinn were really supposed to be longstanding characters...and now they're both fully fleshed out people, and a couple of my favorites! I like that he's complex, mentally ill, and still tries to do what's right, most of the time. But the world pushes his hand, and something's got to give, and unfortunately it's usually the people around him who end up paying the price...which doesn't mean that he doesn't carry that guilt for the rest of his life, mind you. But the world itself was saved! ...though he'll never not regret the harm it causes the few people he lets close, and how it then causes so many others to avoid him like the plague, as they assume he's just a shit who will sacrifice his friends at the drop of a hat. He's the reluctant savior. The...anti-hero? I'm not even sure that's right, because he does want to do good. He just... does some fucked up things to achieve that good, because there's often genuinely no other way - and no one else has the fortitude or the know-how to do it but him. So he'll carry that load, so others don't have to. He'll smoke it away, drink it away...anything he has to, to quiet the guilt, and shame of saving the world from the shadows...never being thanked for it, because he doesn't fly around in spandex, or drive a fancy animal-themed car.

4. John Constantine, Hellblazer/DC Comics (An anti-hero I love, a rare bi-disaster MAN in media, and my favorite occultist/wizardy person in fiction, I think...besides Margo.)

Also, his Hellblazer comics are very politically left leaning and he shits on Tories and racists and homophobia, etc. He might hide his pain in ways that make him seem like a piece of shit, but at heart he knows what's right, and that his fellow man deserves better. (Also, it's implied that he slept with/dated King Shark...you go, king.)

5. Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula and Castlevania (first the game, then the show) I was obsessed with the book even as a kid, and when I saw the most iconic scene in a video game ever, I was in love with his Castlevania counterpart, too.

Not much else to add to this one - I just think he's cool! I love vampires! I love Mina, as well, for all the strength she shows in the face of almost-certain-doom...but I love a good villain, and Dracula is the perfect villain. Also, it turns out the whole book might just have been one big, gay metaphor from a man in the closet! That's pretty cool to find out, after all these years. I do love the backstory from the film of him being SO IN LOVE with his wife that he cursed God and just...became a vampire. Because 'I fought in your crusades and you let the woman I love kill herself? Fuck you, I'm just never going to die. Now I'll kill all your beloved humans!' Castlevania's backstory is similar enough that I enjoy both iterations of it - a man driven to madness by love, and loss...and in Castlevania, it's not even his FAULT he keeps getting summoned back, which is where this scene below even comes from, which kinda cracks me up. He specifically points out what pieces of shit humans are...they say they hate him, but it's humans who always summon him back to do THEIR dirty work.

6. Taimi, Guild Wars 2

When you first meet her, she's a bobble headed child prodigy, even among the incredibly intelligent race of Asura, with big hair and an even bigger pink bow on her head - who has a terminal illness, and a physical disability from it that makes it hard for her to walk...but it never stops her. Not even once. Commander might be a badass, but they'd be nothing without Taimi's vast intelligence saving the world time and again - and you almost have to watch her die! She loses her favorite mech, which is both a walking apparatus and her best friend, and goes on to lose her best friend/love interest...and the pain never breaks her. She's a literal child, a teen/young adult by current story - and the endurance and compassion and strength she shows are just...making me emotional to even write about. And while she's still alive in story at present (and they've aged her up over time!)... we discussed with her not that long ago in story how she is dying - and she feels the pressure to get as much done as she can before that day. But one day, she won't be with us anymore...and despite all the people that Commander has lost? I'll never be ready to lose my little rat-daughter.

Go play Guild Wars 2.

7. Jaina, World of Warcraft

You meet her as a young woman, in Warcraft - an idealist who believes in peace, and stands against the open, and blatant racism against the Orcs, and the Horde. She strives for this peace so hard that she allows her own father to be executed - and for years, she stands with the Horde, and speaks on their behalf and fights for peace...until those same people go out of their way to not just screw her over, but almost kill one of the only family members she has who accepts her, and steal an ancient artifact that could basically just wipe out the Alliance much like the bomb that was used to wipe out the whole city she was in charge of. She suffers from the guilt of not trying harder to help Arthas. She suffers so...so much guilt, for so many things. She isn't perfect, and she has acted out of hurt, and rage at times - but she grows, and learns, and becomes this whole person comprised of beautiful flaws and complexities. I know what it's like to have your friends betray you, and want to burn it all down. I know what it's like, to need years to come to terms with that hurt. I know the pain of years and years of guilt and self-loathing and 'what-if's'. Jaina has become an amazing woman who has helped people, hurt people, and learned both difficult, and beautiful lessons along the way, to become an ultimately better person who still believes in the rights of all people...just with less of that youthful naivete that got her so hurt and blindsided.

8. Ahsoka, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I put off watching Clone Wars, and thought I wouldn't like how they worked Ahsoka in...and boy was I ever wrong. Finally, at long last, there's a female character who is given as thorough a Jedi treatment as Luke, or Anakin...if not better! I love analyzing the 'family lineage' of which Jedi mentors which, and it's a bit funny how Qui-Gon was a rule-breaker paired with Obi-Wan-the-rule-lover...and then he ended up with a padawan even more about going against the grain, because Qui-Gon was supposed to have 'raised' Anakin, himself - then Anakin ends up with a Padawan in an attempt to teach him about how to move on from loss...because all padawans grow up and move on with their lives, one day - but he ended up with someone just as hard-headed and outspoken and out-going as him, and he got a taste of what it was like to be his master! All that said, Ahsoka grows and develops and learns hard lessons, and...grows up as a child soldier in a war the Jedi never should have been a part of, anyways - and (spoilers) when she goes on to be wrongfully accused of a crime by the Jedi Council...they try to walk it back later by saying 'oh this was clearly a test by the Force and you've passed, hooray promotion'. Ahsoka is having none of it. It's hypocrisy. It's a lie. They can't put their own pride aside, and admit that they were wrong! And why would she want to be a part of an organization like that? That's not a promotion at all. Now she'd be just like them, and that leaves a sour taste in her mouth. (Not to mention other hypocritical things she notices throughout the series.) She goes on to learn to live in balance - not all emotions are bad. It's not about complete eradication of emotion, but learning which ones to cultivate, and which ones to set aside and think on. She learns what the elder (extremist) Jedi will not - balance. She becomes better than all those who came before...even Yoda, who is in her Jedi-family-lineage; he admits that the Jedi are blinded by their arrogance, but he's among them! I love everything about her story...so far, at least. I've got yet more catching up to do with Rebels and the Ahsoka show.

9. Asajj Ventress, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Honestly, I like her for a lot of the reasons I like Ahsoka - they're like two sides of a coin, and I think she even says this to Ahsoka later in the series. But Asajj suffered immensely early in life, and lost two father figures (even if one of them was her kidnapper) - to include a Jedi Knight who was briefly her Master, before he was slain in battle. She was picked up by Count Dooku, and had her pain and hate stoked like a fire...and in time he betrayed her, as well. And still...she went on to be resilient, strong, smart, and a master in her own fields of stealth and assassination. She learned hard lessons, and learned to think for herself - she learned that she didn't need any of those men who had come before, in her life...she only needed herself. Her own wits. Her own strength. Her own intelligence. Much like Ahsoka, she broke away from what others tried to mold her into, and became her own woman... whether people liked who she became, or not.

She's a badass. Watch Clone Wars. Read her books.

10. Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Does this one need a reason? She's an imperfect badass, too! She's a lot like Mac, mentioned earlier - she's girly, but not always. Sometimes it concerns her what people might think of that - being feminine, but strong - but she learns to embrace her strength and ferocity and role in the supernatural world... although not without bucking against the system just like Ahsoka and Ventress do - she makes it her own. She plays by her rules, not the Council's, not her Watcher's...and when she does so selfishly, and screws up, she learns a hard lesson about the wisdom and input of your friends and family, and considering how your choices affect those around you. She decides she will not be a dog on a leash for the Council (maybe she was some inspiration for Ahsoka...) - she's here to do two things: look fly, and kick monster ass. Oh yeah - and empower other young women to do the same.

Honorable mentions for Spike (from Buffy), Lucifer (from the self-titled show), Aurene (GW2), Eliot Waugh (The Magicians), Catra (SPOP)

You'll no doubt note that pretty much all the women on the list are people who suffered immensely/were wronged and eventually grew stronger for that, and overcame both the situation and their own flaws...I love a bitch who can overcome both her own flaws, and the world itself being against her!

#favorite characters #blorbo from my shows #ugh I hate that word #The list goes on but we'd be here all week if I went on about EVERY character I love

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noir-ish-bee · 1 year ago

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VOCALOID MAX LORE JUMPSCARE

this is. A long one

(ALSO shoutout to @impostorwhipplesshow for imspiring lil bits of this like them not understanding each other well at first fkjgjkc)

The day Max came to life wasnt actually the day he left the computer. One night, Sam accidentally left his computer on, and somehow dreamt of him meeting his creation, Max (who was for some reason holding a big fish) in a beach, talking about meeting someday (the contents of the dream actually dont matter its all a tako luka maguro fever reference lmao).

When he woke up, Sam figured his dream was influenced because some lines generated by Max's voice bank started playing at night when his computer was on (i dont. Actually know how the program works and most of this is inspired by whipples ideas so lets pretend this makes sense.)

But its weird, because Sam doesn't remember making Max say any of the lines on the screen. That's because Max's first glimps of conscience were through his voicebank, and he was trying to talk to Sam.

This went on for a few days, until Max got ahold of his 3d model for MVs. First by putting himself in random positions Sam didn't make or making objects trying to talk to or showing them to Sam and finally sorta like. Animating himself. Like he could move all by himself.

At this point Sam is FREAKED OUT and almost punches his computer but Max really nervous tries to tell him to stop through another generated line. Sam stops but doesn't understand Max cuz he's not fluent in japanese so he gives him some time to communicate through objects, models and body language, until Sam makes him another voicebank for him to speak english and understand him better.

This works and now they understand each other more easily, but there's two problems: sam doesn't know how the FUCK max came to life, and max's voice still sounds a bit stilty and robotic, so he has trouble understanding him sometimes.

Sam tries to make a new one to expariment with it, but he somehow can't make it, like the program would just glitch it so bad it doesn't work. The same happens when he tries to make Max a different 3d model, so he's stuck with those two he has. Still they have no problems with that and Sam tries to tweak his current voicebank over the time.

At some point, Max gets tired of being inside the computer all the time, just waiting for Sam to get back home from wherever he goes or waiting for him to make him a new stage for a song. He really likes Sam overall, and feels like he wants to hang out with him more, what with him being his creator and all, and he wants to be more than a character and a voice to him.

One night, after Sam forgetting to turn off his computer again, Max tries his best to push himself outside the computer, and by some miracle, don't ask me how, he actually does! He's in the real world! He tries not to freak out bcuz Sam is asleep, but he's really damn excited for that. Everything has different textures, he hears so many new things other than music, it's all exciting for him!

Sam has a heart attack when he wakes up

#i first sent this in the freelance discord thingie so some of a mutuals may have seen this already #i aint typing allat #demi talks i guess #sam and max #sam and max au #vocaloid max au

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elytrafemme · 2 years ago

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not sure when i’ll feel an epic hurrah moment about 2022 ending tbh -- i feel like this year was The Year of Symptoms in the sense that. for the first time in a WHILE nothing traumatic happened but it was a lot of me kinda experiencing shit as a consequence of the ... break from the Events lmao. but i think that’s good! you gotta let the wounds breathe in order to let them heal or something like that, and i’m letting myself breathe. that was this year. i entered it a diametrically different person than i am now leaving it, but that’s fine. it happens. i had a good amount of happy days this year and a lot of fun experiences and i think that’s meaningful.

was talking to my sister and one thing we kinda figured out is that these past two years, i really developed... audacity. especially 2022. like i learned how to be a lot louder about things, and sure that’s not always great (i am... a lot meaner than i used to be! lol. working on that for sure b/c it collaborates w my bluntness as well) but it makes things more exciting. i do things because i have the audacity to and i don’t tend to regret that very much.

i guess my celebration of this year ending was actually a bit earlier. we went shopping and i picked up my new glasses prescription and. went to a store and i bought a shirt from the disco fever section (which i guess is a thing now?) and it’s velvet and lowcut and dramatic but i’m wearing it on the first day of school with a pair of blue jeans because hey. clearer vision and audacity. that’s something, isn’t it?

so yeah. 2022 ending is something i’ve made a ton of peace with. it’s nice to be able to say that :]

#nightmare.personal #look at me starting this post semi negative and ending it pretty positive :D #i think in at least a few ways i have become a worse person this year.#i'm way more flirtatious to a fault. my emotional instability has been at a peak this year. i'm a lot bitchier and a lot colder.#but at the same time i found audacity. and a genuine will to get better. self love. a way to always look forward to the future.#and i think those things are going to be really enduring. enough that i can work on the bad stuff too

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oswaldsleftbicep · 2 years ago

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Hello hello hello and good evening.

Me myself and I, currently being around my five years old cousin watching pokemon, were wondering how you would see Levy and Kaim (they're just so fine for me tbh) around toddlers. Or how u see them as toddlers. I reallllyy would like to know if I could be able to stay with them for 5 mins or not. I personally like kids alot, maybe it will change. But I do not think so. Yet.

Have fun and take your time hun<3👶

how levy and kaim would act with toddlers

i've experienced many kinds of toddlers, some of them are great, others tho...

also i went with the toddler age range (1-3 years old), but if you'd like me to write about an older age group lmk!!

genre: crack, fluff?

cw: toddlers. the terrible twos. children.

Levy

❧ mans sometimes has the temper of a toddler

❧ so he'd get along with them in that sense :)

❧ jkjk

❧ i don't see him as someone who would openly admit he wants kids, i do however see him as someone who gets baby fever

❧ he'll see a cute kid while in town, or he'll read about a baby in one of his books and he gets to thinking

❧ but if you asked him to babysit, he'd have a strong preference that the kid be well behaved

❧ he and mefy are too close in age for him to have much experience with caring for toddlers, and the next youngest is kurt, but i hc that he didn't start working for lucia/living in the mansion until he was at least five

❧ if the kid is chill and well behaved, he'd be so down to just read to them, maybe do play with some educational toys

❧ he's not bad with kids, he just handles them better when they're well behaved

❧ if the kid is rowdy, levy is at a total loss lmao

❧ he's trying everything: food, toys, books, playtime

❧ i don't think he could be able to distinguish what a child wants unless he's spend plenty of time with them

❧ like if he's just babysitting for the day? forget it

❧ if it's a relative or his own child? he is a quick learner, very intelligent

❧ he's too headstrong and stubborn himself to get the kid to do some things tho, like eating their food or getting them to put on pants

❧ lord help him if the child is teething; the moment he sees the kid with one of his books in their mouth, he gets the most disgusted face ever and swears right then and there to never have kids (he's being dramatic of course)

❧ back to the temper tantrums, i could see levy getting pretty overwhelmed at first, scrambling to figure out how to deal with them

❧ but then he thinks back to how lucia used to comfort him and even mefy during tantrums; the memories are pretty faint but they're enough to give him a good starting point

❧ he's intuitive, able to pick up on little things after a while of studying, but he can get into his head too much and overanalyze and jump to the wrong conclusions

❧ so pretty much, if the kid is well behaved, great!! if they're a trouble maker, yikes, good luck levy; definitely prefers older children who know not to put things in their mouths :/

Kaim

❧ a godsend, this man can handle anything

❧ need him to babysit? sure thing

❧ he deals with lucia, his brothers, and kurt on the daily, what makes you think he can't handle an actual toddler?

❧ i like to think he's been serving lucia's family for a while, and has at least grown up with lucia and was there when levy and mefy were growing up, which gave him experience with different age groups

❧ he has a way of making the most rowdy child behave, maybe it's just that glare he has lol

❧ like i can just picture a child screaming and thrashing around and kaim standing there unimpressed like -_- and the kid slowly calming down and stopping cuz they aren't getting the attention they wanted

❧ he'll stick to a strict routine for the kid with appropriately and strategically scheduled meal and nap times

❧ he knows the best schedule for the child that will make the day go smoothly and with minimal hiccups

❧ of course, tantrums and sour moods are inevitable, but kaim is always prepared

❧ he's great at distinguishing between cries and screams and is able to get whatever it is the child needs

❧ if the kid is teething, he always makes sure there's a few appropriate teething toys withing grabbing reach of the kid at all times

❧ he's not one for playing, but he'll supervise and guide the kid through educational puzzles n stuff

❧ what he lacks in emotional connection and sensitivity he sure makes up for in strategy and basic care skills

❧ if he's just babysitting, the parent will most likely be surprised at how calm their child is upon return and asks kaim to babysit again some other time lol

❧ he expects to be paid.

❧ if it's his kid, he's so strategic with everything; he operates on a strict schedule and that flows over to his child as well

❧ this is great in that the kid is always kept busy and cared for, but if that schedule is disrupted for whatever reason

❧ meltdown. full blown meltdown.

❧ he can handle it tho :,) most of the time at least lol

❧ there have been a couple kids whose meltdowns really got to him and drove him near insane

❧ he doesn't like talking about it lucia teases him for letting a three year old get the better of him

❧ tl;dr: he's great with kids, knows exactly how to handle them and how to get them to behave, although he's not the most openly sensitive and emotionally caring; he tries harder if it's his kid, or a kid he cares deeply about

#my. hcs #nightmare harem #nightmare harem hcs #nightmare harem levy #nightmare harem kaim #otome games

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pigeonfancier · 2 years ago

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Medical shit:

Generally, I'm used to racism issues popping up with medicine! Welcome to America, etc etc. But - heart condition means that all of my immediate family gets free genetic testing to make sure they also don't have this. My father, sister and mother got tested around the same time.

My test took about a month to get back - sent it in mid-July, doctor signed off his read at the end of August, I got it back sometime during October.

My mother's took one fucking week. My father and sisters' are both still processing - at least, my sister's reads as "processing", I don't have my father's log in to check.

But SURREAL.

Also surreal, my mother:

I waver between being very angry at my parents, sometimes, over all of my medical issues that I'm having to deal with now, and sometimes just not really giving a shit! They had a ton of medical bills when I was a kid - my mother had an aneurysm and a stroke, I had several throat surgeries, the heart issues, and then dyslexic ball of issues on top of that, the economy was bad, it's all very whatever.

But it's very grating that all of my cardiology issues - despite going to a cardiologist repeatedly! - got largely dismissed as my being a huge hypochondriac, or a sign that I had gotten myself too wound up and overexcited, or as a sign I was on a growth spurt.

I was like 4'9" at 13 years old, I was not on a growth spurt, lmao

I figured out by the time I hit 19 or so that the best method of dealing with that was just not to mention health issues, except to my sister.

I still abide by this! My parents get information if it's relevant to them, or if it's going to impact me enough to be noticeable to others. It's whatever. So, they got informed about the heart shit, my mother got tested, her test is already back, and.. she has it! Terrible! Hate that for her! But semi-expected, because I got it from her side of the family, much like every. other. fucking. health problem. I have.

Yesterday, in the course of one two hour long, largely-her-monologuing conversation, I was reminded why I do not talk about medical shit with her, because:

Her: oh, poor [niece's son] probably has this heart problem, too! he was out playing soccer, and he got winded, and everyone said it was fine, but that's really quite alarming, so I told her that she needs to get him checked!

Her: well, just because you have the gene doesn't mean that you have any symptoms or issues from it! It could just be that you're having problems due to your diet. Or maybe your heart problems are just from your pancreatitis?

Her: everyone always said my heart issues were from rheumatic fever, but this would actually make a lot of sense if they were symptoms of this!

Her: And [niece] always had to go and take a long nap after she attended PE class, so I wonder if she has it? And [sister] has always gotten very tired, and very winded after doing things..

Her: well, you get very winded, but that's probably because deconditioning! we don't exercise enough, so if you exercised more, you'd probably stop getting winded after you exercise.

Her: oh, it also said that people shouldn't get stressed if they have this! I guess I'll have to watch my stress levels, haha!

Her: what cardiologist are you using? I'll ask [GP] for a referral to him! or, well.. you have to get a referral, but I can just walk in and get an appointment. So I guess I'll do that! But you need to get a referral. He hasn't sent you a referral yet, right?

I am the only one in this family that has had it confirmed I have this, have symptoms from this, and need to be assessed on the severity of this, but okay, lmao.

At least bluntly ignoring her whenever she tried to bring up "have you considered just trying to eat more meat to cure your pancreatitis? I know you say you can't really break down proteins well, but your brother suggested --" has lessened the diet talk on the whole, but guess it had to sneak back in eventually.

I am glad I'm dealing with this now that I'm older, though, instead of in my early to mid 20's, haha. I used to take her POV a lot more seriously, because she used to work in the medical field. But thank fucking god for ageing, and remembering that she largely views anyone else's health problems through the lense of how much of a bother they would be for her.

#d. rambles #the mysterious fainting waif disease #I guess I could officially rename this #but this has been this tag since college and by god I refuse

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whump-it-like-its-hot · 9 months ago

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So it turns out the last time I thought I got sick was a false alarm, and the real deal is only starting now, two weeks later :,) (rambling under the cut, some health stuff etc no mental health tho just physical)

FUCK I JUST TYPED OUT THE WHOLE THING AND THEN ADDED THE READ MORE AND IT DELETED EVERYTHING. i hate it here

Anyway. I completely forgot everything I put in that ramble, which is amazing. Anyway yeah I’m sick and what’s really messing with me is the fact that I’m really dizzy all the time? I don’t think I’ve had this happen before. I don’t have a fever, I feel super feverish but I almost never get fevers anymore (last time I did was over a year ago when I had the flu and covid at once, jackpot, and I’ve been sick super often this last year. Funfact my sense of taste is still messed up from back then in that things will taste much sweeter to me than the average person. Tap water is sweet. Potatoes are sweet. Everything is sweet. I almost never add sugar to my deserts because it’s overwhelming and also it keeps me in a constant state of lowkey dehydration because tap water is all I drink and I can’t stand the taste of it anymore because it tastes sweet. Back then I went for two and a half days without drinking and honestly idk how or why no one dragged my ass to the hospital back then but anyway. I figured out that warm water with a spritz of lemon juice is the only thing I can stomach when I’m sick, no honey or tea, nothing so that’s fun)

Yeah I also feel weirdly nauseous all the time? Like. My stomach hurts a little but I can eat normally, but then I randomly get super nauseous out of nowhere, but nothing ends up happening. Weird stuff. My throat hurts, my head hurts, everything kinda hurts, and yeah. The lemon water is making my throat hurt worse but tbh I’m not going the dehydration route again so we gotta pick our evil. Tomorrow I have my first driving lesson in the complete darkness that I can’t cancel, so that’s gonna be fucking fun

I also notice how my joints are hurting worse when I’m sick? Like this has happened a few times before because my joints are kinda fucky but I’m definitely noticing it right now, my knees are like begging me not to use them lmao 😭

Actually I’m also gonna do a covid test now and might put the results here later hehe anyway yeah

Update test is negative so there’s that at least

#delete later

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zepskies · 7 months ago

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Aw yay!! 😍 I'm so excited that you're able to dive back in, thank you! 💕 (Lol we all need a cowboy break sometimes. 🤠)

I think it's because he's so nervous and it's honestly so cute 😆❤️

It definitely is! lolll He's only thought as far as the dinner itself, and nothing much afterwards. 😂

Ugh, I love this! And I love that it's one of your classy guy moves, Zep! Beau did that too in TMH 😆❤️

Omg! The things I don't even notice I'm doing loll, but I'm so glad you pointed that out for me. 😂😂❤️

I see where this is going eventually and I'll support it 💯😏

Oooh you shall see... 😏💓

Her backstory is so sad, tho! And I can kinda relate. I grew up in a similar situation (my mother never wanted to be one), but I luckily had an awesome dad 🥰

Ughh, while I'm so sorry you can relate with her on this, I'm so glad to hear you had an awesome dad to make up for it. 💗💗

But a lot of this reader's character traits will hopefully make sense considering her background/issues of abandonment.

Loved all the "missed kiss" scenarios, too! The dog one killed me, tho 😂😂 Reminded me of that little dog in Yellow Fever lmao

LOL those were so fun to write (and I know it frustrated some readers lmao). Ahhh that's actually one of my favorite episodes!! 😆

You and your L&O, Zep 😆 I love how many detours they took on their date and how neither really wanted to end it. Really shows their chemistry between them 😍

LMFAO I know, I have a sickness. 🤣🤣

Aww thank you!! Yeah I really wanted to capture that "perfectly imperfect" first date feel to really cement the connection between these two, who haven't seriously dated in a while, if for very different reasons. 😅

Aww, George. Man after my own heart. One more reason to love him ❤️❤️❤️ (Also love how she is subtly calling Dean old here 😆)

George is my favorite, honestly (and loosely based on my own grandpa lol. Think I might've mentioned that before? I can't remember lol). And she's definitely calling Dean old, but she also doesn't mind it. 😂

And I'm glad Dean was brave enough to leave police academy and become a firefighter instead 💚

Yeah I think the main difference between canon!Dean and this AU Dean is that this Dean had a more solid foundation growing up, with not just John raising him, but with Bobby and others in the mix too. I wanted to give him more agency to figure out what he wanted for himself in this world.

And they finally got to the kiss! I'd say it was well worth all the interruptions before 😏❤️‍🔥

Aww haha I'm so glad it was well worth the wait!! 😜💗

Best part of this chapter. George stealing the show again 🤣❤️

Lmfao embarrassment to the nth degree, but I had so much fun with that scene as well. 🤣🤣

Thank you again so much for sharing your thoughts with me on this one, Wayne! 💕

Smoke Eater - Part 4

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real.

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.

🔥 Series Masterlist

Song Inspo: “Take It to the Limit” by The Eagles

Word Count: 6,000 Tags/Warnings: Major fluff alert. Some angst(ish). First date part 2…and a second date?

Part 4: Rocky Road

You enjoyed dinner more than you expected to. Dean was funny, and charming, and deeper than you might’ve expected at first glance.

He also didn’t let you even think of paying any part of the bill. In his view, he’d asked you out, so your purse was staying the hell away from the little black booklet.

The only problem was, the freely flowing conversation you and Dean had all through dinner kind of stalled after you left the restaurant. He’d chosen a spot in downtown, so the two of you walked leisurely down the sidewalk, under rows of soft overhead string lights and a gentle chill on the evening air.

Dean had his hands in his pockets, and even that casual gait caught your eye. He looked good tonight in his black slacks and jacket. The dark blue buttoned-down worked for him too, just as well as the red plaid and jeans worked for him last night. Just like his gray lieutenant’s polo and navy pants worked for him.

In fact, you didn’t think there was anything that wouldn’t work for him.

“So, what’s next?” you asked. Dean glanced over at your question, looking a bit uncertain.

“Well, I’m gonna be honest. This is as far as I thought things through,” he said. “What do you want to do?”

You hummed and touched your chin. You paused and considered your surroundings. There were little shops, clubs, and restaurants on either side of the street. But then you spotted something nearby: a cart with a pink overhead. You smiled.

“You up for dessert?” you asked, pointing to the ice cream stand.

Dean shot you a slightly disbelieving look.

“Yeah? Ice cream after that fancy shmancy meal?”

You shrugged. “Why not? Come on.”

You looped your arm through his and tugged him along with you. He smiled at your enthusiasm and let you do it.

He later watched you try no less than five flavors of ice cream before you settled on the first one you tried—chocolate chip cookie dough. Which you ordered on a cone, with brownie pieces on top.

“The only way to do business,” you told him sagely. Dean grinned and held a hand to his chest.

“A woman after my own heart,” he said. “Here I thought you were gonna make fun of me for getting rocky road.”

“Why would I? I don’t discriminate when it comes to dessert…and only fun people get rocky road,” you countered.

“Tell that to my brother,” Dean scoffed. “He gets plain-ass chocolate chip. Every time.”

“Oh, you have a brother?” you noted with interest. “Any other siblings?”

“Nope,” he said, and accepted his cone from Steve, the guy operating the kiosk. “Just my giant little brother.”

“Giant?”

“…You’ll understand when you meet him.”

“When, not if. That’s encouraging,” you said with a smile. Dean shot you an amused grin back.

You held your cone with one hand while you rifled through your purse for your wallet with the other, but by the time you looked up, Dean was already handing over his credit card. Your brows furrowed.

“Dean—”

“This is all still part of the date,” he rationalized. His green eyes fairly danced with amusement, which you begrudgingly accepted with a sigh.

You then looked at your cone from all angles, trying to spy the best spot to start. You decided to go at it from the side. Though you tried to be graceful about it, you realized you hadn’t totally succeeded when a brownie piece almost fell off. You yelped and managed to catch it before it fell on your dress.

“Smooth,” Dean remarked. You shrugged and hummed happily while you took another bite.

“I told you. I don’t play when it comes to dessert,” you told him.

“Clearly,” he teased.

You briefly looked up at him through your lashes, making him smile. You really did have a pretty pair of eyes. And when your tongue came out a little to lick your lips, he was drawn to that as well.

And an even prettier mouth, he thought. Damn.

He raised a thumb to wipe away a bit of ice cream left behind on your lower lip. You blinked up at him, your eyes a bit wider, and he saw the bout of shyness in your resulting smile.

You shivered then with a bit of cold, whether from the ice cream or the chill on the air.

Dean’s mouth quirked, and he gave you his cone. “Hold this for a sec.”

You did so for him, but you watched him curiously as he shrugged out of his jacket. He wrapped it around your shoulders, like this was some kind of Hallmark moment.

Heh. Can’t believe Meg had it right, he thought, as he caught your blush.

“Thanks,” you said softly.

“Can’t let you catch cold in this little dress,” Dean reasoned. He tugged you in closer by the ends of his jacket.

Once again, his gaze was drawn to your face, your eyes, and finally your lips. You still held both ice cream cones between you two, but he could be careful enough to sample something else.

He started to lean in…

“Hey, man!” said Steve. “Don’t forget your wallet.”

Hesitating, Dean’s lips pursed as he turned his head to look back. Sure enough, he’d left his wallet on the counter. Letting out a subtle sigh, he glanced down and found you biting your lip in amusement.

He released you to go back and pluck his wallet out of Steve’s hand. The kid looked college age, and chilled out of his mind, like he didn’t realize he’d just interrupted another dude’s flow.

“Thank you,” said Dean, a bit pointedly.

Steve gave him a bored smile.

While you continued walking and finishing off your ice cream, you went with the flow of people coming and going; couples, families, people walking their dogs and with their children for an evening stroll.

You learned that Dean’s brother was a few years younger than him. The two shared an apartment, though Sam had a girlfriend, Eileen.

She worked at a specialty school, specifically with hearing impaired children, as she herself was deaf. Sam had learned a bit of ASL in school and worked on becoming fluent after they met. He was an assistant prosecutor working in the district attorney’s office.

“Wow. They sound like a power couple,” you remarked.

Dean inclined his head. “Yeah, they’re the smartest people I know, to be honest. They’ve been going strong for a few years now.”

And he learned that you were an only child, raised by your grandparents, and still living in your childhood home with your grandfather.

You admitted to him that after your grandmother passed away a few years ago, you just never found it within yourself to move out and leave George alone. He still needed you…and you probably needed him too, in some ways.

“Nothing wrong with that,” Dean said. "Taking care of your people is number one."

You gave him an appreciative look. He wanted to ask where your parents were in this situation, but he didn’t want to pry if you weren’t up for sharing. It felt like something even more personal.

You then stopped in front of a beautiful French bakery. It was closed, but you could still smell freshly baked bread and sweetness through the glass doors. You leaned against them while you peered inside.

“Ooh, I’ll need to come back here,” you said, before you remembered that you did in fact have company. Dean sidled up next to you and crossed his arms in amusement.

“You want a piece of cake or something?” he teased. “I’ll get my crowbar from the car.”

You grinned. “Not the jaws of life?”

“That’d be a bit extreme for a glass door, don’t you think?” He raised a brow at you.

“Don’t underestimate the lengths I’ll go to for quality cake,” you quipped back.

“All right,” he chuckled. “I like a girl who knows what she wants.”

You’d lost count of how many times you’d blushed tonight, but it had to be a record. You turned to him, but unconsciously kept a hand on the glass door.

“When I was in culinary school, I dreamed of opening up a bakery just like this,” you said. There was the gleam of memory and nostalgia in your eyes, and Dean found himself getting swept up in it.

“What happened to the dream?” he asked.

You sighed, letting your hand fall away from the glass. You hesitated to confide in him, to reveal this much of yourself. But there was something about this man that…well, that made you trust him. Even with this part. You tugged his jacket closer to your body.

“My grandma died about a month before I graduated,” you said. “She and my grandpa raised me…after my mom left.”

Dean’s gaze gentled, while his brows drew together. That just about answered his question about your parents.

“How old were you when she left?” he asked.

“Officially? Six years old,” you replied, sighing heavily. “She didn’t want responsibilities.”

He acknowledged this with a slow nod. He got the feeling your dad was never in the picture.

“Have you talked to her since?”

“No,” you said. “I lived with my grandparents from the beginning. She’d breeze in and out of town, from what little I remember. But one day, Gram finally asked her: When are you going to realize that you’re a mother?”

You glanced away for a moment. “Well, after that…I never saw her again.”

You took in a deeper breath to steady yourself. You didn’t often talk about this, let alone with someone you’d just met. Yet again, you felt safe enough with Dean.

“But after Gram passed, my grandfather was already retired,” you continued. “I needed a job, not a pipe dream.”

Dean had been listening to you with rapt attention. This was the first time he truly frowned. The wind was brushing strays of your hair across your forehead. He reached out and tucked a few strands behind your ear.

“Not all dreams are pipe dreams,” he said.

You flickered at a smile, looking up at him.

“Fair enough,” you replied.

Your eyes roamed his face this time, falling to his lips. You found yourself tilting up your chin when his face began bowing toward yours.

You felt his warm breath on your cheek, his hands grasping your arms, your hands gently resting against his sternum. By now, your heart was tripping up, double timing. And yet, you felt at ease as your eyes closed.

Only to be startled out of your wits when a dog yapped by your feet.

Even Dean jolted. His grip on your arms tightened on reflex. Both of you turned with wide eyes at the little Pomeranian that yanked at its leash. The woman holding it pulled her dog back.

“Sorry!” she called as she passed by. And she was still wrangling with the dog as she made her way down the sidewalk.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. You read the thought across Dean’s frowning face. Though you felt the same way, you still smiled.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek instead.

“Thanks for listening,” you said. “I know that was heavy for a first date. I’m sorry.”

Dean’s eyes were warm when he looked down at you. You seemed to be honest and straightforward, which wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, he liked that a lot. In his experience, it wasn’t something he encountered very often with women.

Or maybe just with the women you’ve gone after, he thought.

“Nah, don’t apologize…but I’m sorry for your loss. I really am,” he said, thumbing at your cheek.

You could see that he meant it too. “Thank you.”

You ducked your head, fighting embarrassment. Not that he'd given to reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed, but you still couldn't believe he'd cracked you open like a book, without even trying. Andréa was sure to tease the hell out of you for that one.

You glanced back up and managed to spy something past Dean's shoulder. You smiled and took his hand.

“Oh look! There’s a bookstore open,” you said, and led him farther down the path.

Dean later followed you, once again with his hands in his pockets as you browsed through each aisle. He should’ve known you were a reader. But you were cute, he thought, as your fingers brushed across certain spines of books while you scanned their titles and covers.

You glanced over at him. “I’m sorry. This must be really boring for you right now. I’ll come back another time—”

“No, no. I’m along for the ride,” Dean said with a smirk. It earned another amused look from you.

“Well, buckle up then,” you teased. You led him down to the Mystery section—murder mysteries being your favorite, you told him. He raised a brow at that.

“What? Were you expecting romance novels with telenovela-style covers?” you asked. And you draped yourself across the bookshelf, holding the back of your hand up to your forehead, like you were about to “faint.”

Dean shook his head at you, but his eyes were dancing again.

“Nah, give me a juicy mystery,” you said, as you continued to browse. “Clues, evidence, surprise twists, villain reveals…”

“Well, I’ll say that real life Magnum P.I. ain’t all that fun,” Dean remarked. That made you raise your head from the book you were inspecting and look over at him.

“Hmm, that sounds like personal experience,” you said.

He hesitated, but he eventually nodded. “Yeah. My dad’s a cop. A detective, actually, in homicide. Real Law & Order, you could say.”

Your eyes grew comically wide, and Dean had to laugh.

“Now that is interesting,” you said. “How long has he been a cop?”

“Heh. My whole life,” Dean replied. There was something behind his eyes that you didn’t miss.

“Hmm, something tells me being a cop's kid isn't all it’s cracked up to be,” you said. "Bet you couldn't get away with anything, huh?"

He smirked. "Not a damn thing. I coulda sworn my dad had cameras planted all over the house."

But no, his dad was just that good at reading him and Sam. Granted, it wasn't often that they tried to pull one over on the old man, but their teenage years had been...interesting.

You laughed lightly while you continued to browse.

“Your dad was tough growing up?” you asked. Dean considered you, and your question with a tilt of his head.

“My dad’s a good guy,” he said. “The best at his job. And he’s the toughest son of a bitch I know.”

You knew then that there was a story there, or maybe several, but you didn’t want to push it. Dean seemed to be at the edge of what he was willing to get into on the subject.

So you just nodded and chose a couple of books, which you insisted on paying for yourself. Unlike a meal or dessert, he hadn’t participated in this part, you reasoned.

“That’s not how that works,” Dean said, but he begrudgingly let you pay for your own books. You carried the bag out of the store with a satisfied smile on your face.

Dean shook his head with a smile of his own. Though he did take your free hand in his on the way back to the car.

Dean meant to take you back to your house…but maybe you weren’t quite ready for the night to end just yet. He was driving his sleek tank of a car down the main road when you got an idea.

“Oh, we’re going to drive over the river,” you remembered. “There’s this little spot right before it where you can pull over and park, see the skyline… Have you seen it?”

Dean glanced over at you with a gleam in his eye. “I have. It’s definitely a sight to see.”

“I haven’t seen it in a while,” you said.

A smile curved his lips. “Well, that’s a damn shame. Let’s fix that.”

The Impala soon pulled into a clearing off the side of the road, just before the Kansas River. True to your memory, there was a beautiful view of the city skyline. The half-moon above sprinkled light across the water. The waves were otherwise black and choppy.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen it at night,” Dean said. You turned to him and smiled.

“Thanks for tonight. I had a really good time,” you said.

He raised his brows at you. “We’re not done yet. You’re the one who wanted to sightsee.”

You chuckled and nodded in agreement. You were feeling a bit warm with the heating vents on you, so you unclipped your seatbelt and shrugged off Dean’s coat. You folded it up nicely and draped it across your lap.

You didn’t notice it, but Dean’s gaze drifted over to you when you bared your shoulders again, revealing smooth skin and the tantalizing neckline of your dress. Even in the dim lighting, the vibrant green caught his eye.

But it wasn’t until the car stopped rumbling so much that you noticed the radio playing hard rock in the background. It sounded like a lot of screaming and guitars to you.

“What the hell are we listening to?” you said.

“Hmm, not an Van Halen fan?” Dean replied, giving you a chiding eye. “Aw, I don’t know if I can trust you if you can’t appreciate Sammy Hagar.”

“Oh no,” you said with a laugh. “He likes mullet rock.”

“Yes, he does,” Dean grinned. “The bigger, crazier hair the better.”

You rolled your eyes. “All right, Hendrix. Mind if we change the station?”

You hand reached for the radio knob, but Dean’s hand batted yours away.

“Ey, ey!” he said, though a smile raised the corners of his lips. “Driver picks the music.”

You full on laughed then.

“Okay, but can we please listen to something less grating?” you asked.

Dean snorted. “All right, your highness. Let me see what I’ve got…”

You watched him curiously as he reached over on his side and pulled out a few ancient relics.

“Oh my God. You still listen to cassettes?” you asked in disbelief. Dean shot you another grin as he sorted through a handful of them. He considered you for a moment, debating his decision.

He chose a cassette and popped it in. Soon, the rhythmic melody of a guitar filtered through the speakers. You tilted your head.

“The Eagles?” you guessed. The song was familiar…

“All alone at the end of the evening, and the bright lights have faded to blue,” crooned from the speakers. “I was thinking 'bout a woman who might have loved me. I never knew…”

“Wow, all right,” Dean said, grinning. “Guess I haven’t lost you to the Bieber pop masses just yet.”

You gave him an amused look.

“My grandfather is an Eagles fan,” you smirked back. Though you patted the Impala’s dashboard. “But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’ve got an old soul.”

“I prefer the term ‘vintage,’” Dean quipped. He noted the way you seemed to be admiring his car. “My dad played this stuff all the time when Sam and I were kids…I guess the car’s another thing he passed down to me.”

You looked over at him then. “Yeah? He give it to you as a graduation gift or something?”

He inclined his head, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Sort of,” he said. You smiled then, shifting towards him in your seat.

“Ooh, that sounds like a story.”

He acknowledged that with a nod, though he hesitated. “You really wanna hear it?”

You rested an elbow on the armrest between his chair and yours, chin in hand, staring up at him encouragingly. Your brows raised in a “go ahead” gesture.

With an amused sigh, Dean nodded.

“Believe it or not, after I graduated high school, I wasn’t sold on the whole college thing.” His lips twisted wryly. “That was more Sam’s beat. So my dad thought it’d be good if I followed in his.”

Your eyes widened. “You were going to be a police officer?”

Dean smiled. “Well, I got into the Academy.”

That was where he met Cas, all those years ago. First, they were sort of silently competing on their scores, each wanting to be the best in the class. For Dean, it was because John Winchester had been the best. To this day, he still held some of the top scores in the region.

Meanwhile, Cas had come from a strict, religious family that drove him to succeed in whatever he put his mind to. Cas hadn’t liked Dean’s casual, joking, surface-level arrogance, thinking he wasn’t taking it seriously.

Dean had thought the guy had a serious pole stuck up his ass.

“I was about halfway through, but I just…my heart wasn’t in it,” Dean said. “Cas could see it. He asked me why the hell I was working so hard if I didn’t really want this.”

“To beat me?” Cas had asked. “To level your dad’s scores? To prove you can be him? Frankly, that sounds idiotic. Not to mention, utterly pathetic.”

Dean hadn’t wanted to face it at first, but he’d known then that his archenemy was right.

“You know…up until then, I don’t think I’d ever considered what the hell it was I wanted,” he admitted. His fingers drummed on the Impala’s steering wheel.

He knew you were listening. Just listening, like you were taking in his every word. He didn’t know why, but your quiet attention made him keep trying to fill the silence.

“So I quit,” he said. “Didn’t tell my dad…but Sam was the one who put the Fire Academy paperwork on my desk. Once I worked up the nerve, I took the firefighter test on the sly.”

“Was your dad mad?” you asked.

Dean chuckled. “At first.”

It had also been the first time he felt like he’d truly impressed his father. Namely, by not doing what John expected of him. That was more Sam’s territory.

“But after I made it through the Fire Academy, he gave me Baby,” said Dean.

He laid a fond hand on the steering wheel. It hadn't been the first time John said he was proud of Dean, but that day was still a good one, etched into Dean's memories. Sometimes it blocked out the darker ones.

“Baby?” you asked in bemusement.

He blinked, looking over at you with a quirk of his lips.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, and swiped a hand over his mouth.

That, and the way his gaze dropped a bit, you thought he seemed a bit embarrassed. Not by his old-ass taste in music, but by the fact that he’d named his car.

What a giant dork, you thought, as your smile grew.

Leveraging a hand on the armrest, you leaned over and kissed his cheek for the second time tonight. This time you lingered a moment, leaving the mark of your lipstick behind.

“It’s a good name,” you said.

Dean smiled back at you. Right about then, that was about the best thing you could’ve said.

He raised a hand to your cheek, brushing the back of his hand along your jaw. He settled on gently taking your chin between his fingers, before he leaned in and finally kissed you.

It started out slow as his lips moved against yours with purpose. Your eyes closed at the feel of him. Each new touch drew you in further, making your head swim with warmth, and your heart begin to race.

You unconsciously reached out and grasped the collar of his shirt. His hand moved to cradle your cheek and guide your head to the side, so he could deepen the kiss. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, and his tongue soon swept across to sooth it. You couldn't help the small, pleasant shudder that ran through you.

You weren’t sure who stopped first, but when your eyes eventually opened again, it was to those talented lips curving into a smile.

“Not gonna lie, I’ve been trying to do that all night,” he said, chuckling a bit.

You couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up into your throat and managed to escape. “I know.”

You leaned against him, with your hand still curled in his shirt. Your eyes briefly lowered.

At the delightfully hair-raising feeling of his thumb brushing back and forth against your cheek, you glanced back up at him. Your smile became more flirtatious, yet still with a bit of nervous energy.

“Want to reenact the moment?” you asked.

Dean grinned and pulled you in again, flush against him this time. All while his music continued to play. You recognized another one from your grandpa’s collection. This time, you didn’t mind.

This man might’ve been vintage in his tastes, but his touch made you feel brand new.

“What would you say…about doing this again sometime?” Dean asked.

That is, between feverish kisses on your front porch. You’d been trying to say goodnight for a few minutes now, but every time you tried, the two of you kept getting pulled back into the feel of one another.

He held you close against him, his hands molded to the curve up your hip and pressing into your lower back. Your fingers were alternatively tangling and soothing into his hair. You clung to his shoulders as his lips and tongue continued to rob you of your breath, as well as your good sense.

You were making out with this man under the porch light like you were a teenager afraid of getting caught by your grandfather. (He was probably asleep by now anyway.)

And you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been kissed like this, touched like this. The evening chill spread goosebumps across your arms, but your insides were warm and champagne-bubbly. All the while, his lips made slow, sensuous movements against yours.

When you caught a moment to pull away, just to take in a few needed breaths, your eyes flicked up to his.

“I’d say make an appointment,” you teased. “I’m a busy woman.”

You tapped his chin with a finger, making him smile.

“Oh, yeah? Can you pencil me in…say, tomorrow at 7:00?” he asked.

“Tomorrow.” You raised a brow. “Anxious, are we?”

His smile faltered, just a little. “Too soon?”

“…No,” you admitted. If you were honest, you wanted to see him too. “7:00 is good.”

Dean was about to reply when the porch lights flickered overhead. Your brows furrowing, you turned and spotted your grandfather in the window by the front door. You didn't like the look of his smile, hinting with mischief.

“Oh my God,” you muttered.

“Did I make you miss curfew or something?” Dean joked.

Embarrassment began to heat up your face in record time. You groaned and shook your head as you turned in his arms.

“My grandfather, ladies and gentlemen.” Your lips quirked. “And his incurable wit.”

Dean’s hands fell away from you so you could reach for the door, just as you heard it unlocking from the other side. George cracked the door open a few inches and peeked his head out.

“If you wanna put on a show, you should sell tickets,” he quipped, giving you and Dean a raised brow.

“Grandpa, really?”

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Just kiddin’,” he said. “Hey there. Heard you’re the fireman who saved the cheeky damsel in distress here. How many does that make for ya this week?”

You sighed. And you pleaded with Dean, via your eyes, to be patient here.

“Well, wouldn’t call her a damsel, but she’s certainly the prettiest one so far,” Dean told your grandfather, though he shot you a teasing wink.

You couldn't help a smile. “Yeah, he’s got a caravan of us waiting back at the station.”

Dean chuckled along with George, who then gave him a more appraising look. Dean knew when he was being silently judged. He met the older man’s gaze directly.

“Anyway, sorry for crashing in. Glad to meet you, son. I’m George,” said your grandfather. He stepped out fully to shake Dean’s hand.

Dean took it with a firm, but relaxed grip. He nodded respectfully.

“Good to meet you. I’m Dean.”

“So I’ve heard,” George said, his tone a little enigmatic. “You plannin’ on seeing her again? ‘Cause I think you might be a special one. She had me approve no less than five different outfits before she decided. And I said, ‘Hun, if he’s half a man at all he wouldn’t care if you were dressed in a woolly potato sack and nothin' else—’”

“All right, is that Wheel of Fortune on back there?” you quickly cut in. A wilder blush was taking root down to your neck. You pointed back inside, where you could hear the TV playing. “I think your show’s back on.”

George’s eyes widened like he was catching on to you, reading between your lines. He “apologized” with placating hands.

“Okay, that’s my cue. Though I’ll have you know, it’s Shark Week on the Discovery channel. Wheel of Fortune’s for old people,” he quipped.

Dean smirked. “Hell yeah. Gotta love Shark Week.”

“Right?” George gestured at him as if he’d just found a kindred spirit. “A whole damn week of sharks.”

“Great! Well, sounds like the show’s back from commercial,” you hinted. Actually, you hoped he recorded those episodes. You loved a good nature documentary that made you fear the beach for another six months.

“All right, I got it.” Grinning to himself, George gave Dean one last tip of his imaginary hat. “G’night, you two.”

“Good night,” you and Dean replied, though yours was distinctly tighter, while he was more amused. He glanced down at you after the door clicked shut.

You bit your lip, meeting his eyes. “Sorry. No matter how old I get, that’s still his way of being protective.”

“As he should,” Dean said, chuckling a little. He bucked a gentle fist under your chin. “You’re like a daughter to him, right?”

Your lingering embarrassment began to even out into a smile.

“Yeah, basically.”

“With a sharp shooter like you, I’ll bet he doesn’t have a lot of chances to look out for you,” he remarked.

You inclined your head at that.

“Maybe,” you replied. You reached out to straighten the lines of his jacket. You’d managed to wrinkle him a bit since hanging out in his car by the river earlier.

“So…you said something about 7:00 tomorrow?” you asked tentatively.

Dean grinned. But it soon faded as reality seemed to interject. “Ah…you know what, let’s do 7:30.”

His hands found your waist, but they soon slid around to hold you securely in his arms. It made a heady feeling rush through you, down to the tips of your fingers. You soothed through the mess you made of his hair and rested your hands on his arms afterwards.

“Are you sure?” you asked. Dean thought about it for a moment.

“Let’s do 8:00, just to be safe. I get off work at 6:30,” he said. He wanted to give plenty of wiggle room, just in case something cropped up.

You agreed, even though this aspect of things had the potential to make you anxious. You knew his job was unpredictable at times, but you were a planner, organized and detail oriented. And you did not like the unknown. Hence your mildly anal tendency to make checklists.

Dean could see the wheels turning in your head though.

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. When he gave his word, he fully intended to keep it.

So he kissed away the reservations he saw in your eyes.

Despite the pure magic that had been last night, today, you had a suspicious feeling.

It was 8:30 in the evening, and Dean still wasn’t knocking at your door. He hadn’t responded to your text either.

You were ready for dinner. This time in a black dress, nice, short, and enticing, as your grandma had long ago impressed on you: every woman should have a little black dress.

At 9:00, you gave into your instincts and tried to call him. It rang for a while, but ultimately went to voicemail. You sat on the living room couch with a glass of wine in one hand, your cell in the other, and you frowned.

You still hadn’t moved the vase of tulips from the coffee table, and you noticed them again. They were starting to open up nicely.

Grandpa George glanced over at you from his favorite chair, watching your mood begin to sour with both annoyance and worry.

“He’s probably just caught up on a call,” he said, and raised a teasing brow. “Maybe saving another girl from a crapped out elevator.”

You shot him a droll look. “Thanks. But yeah, he probably just got held up at work…not standing me up at all.”

Logically, you knew it was probably the first option, but the less secure part of yourself wondered.

George relented when he saw how pensive you looked, with a tinge of impatience.

“You must really like this guy,” he said.

You looked over at him with a soft frown, but you didn’t answer. It told your grandfather everything he needed to know. Even with the protective walls you tended to put up whenever you were anxious, he knew you better than anyone.

“It may not be what you think. Just relax,” he said. “He’ll call eventually. And when he does, let him actually talk.”

You huffed. But your lips formed a smile as you nodded in agreement.

Whatever was holding Dean up, you just hoped he was safe.

However, by 10:00 p.m., you were both worried and irritated. You changed out of your dress, but you kept your makeup on in one last ditch effort of hope.

You laid in bed and watched Friends reruns. Even though you knew every joke, it usually still managed to make you laugh.

Not this time, unfortunately.

But, Dean finally called around 10:30. You let it ring a few times before you answered your cell.

“Yes, Lieutenant?” you greeted flatly.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said. His tone was already full of remorse, but you couldn’t help it. You were feeling petty.

“I don’t think you get to ‘sweetheart’ me tonight,” you said.

“Look, uh…I’m sorry I’m not there,” said Dean. “I really am. I wasn’t trying to do this to you.”

…Damn it, you actually believed him. You heard the sincerity in his voice, along with how tired he seemed to be. And that was before he even got to the explanation.

“There was a five-car pileup on the road, and someone got T-boned on either side,” he said. “It took us basically all night to clear it up and get the injured out of there. Was a big mess. I just left the station a few minutes ago.”

Your irritation soon fizzled into shame. You should’ve known.

“That’s…a really good reason,” you said.

“Just let me shower and I’ll come right out to you.”

You sighed. “It’s okay, Dean. Let’s just try for another time. You must be tired…”

It was his turn to sigh.

“I know it ain’t okay,” he said eventually. “I can hear you clear as day.”

Your lips quirked wryly.

“How can I complain, Dean? You were literally saving people.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re all dolled up, and I’m not gonna get to see it,” he said. A bit of his usual charm and good humor crept into his voice. It made you smile.

“And I really put some effort into this smokey eye,” you quipped. You also curled a strand of styled hair around your finger absently.

“I’m gonna pretend I know what that means, but it sounds sexy as hell,” he replied.

Your smile deepened. “Okay, what about Tuesday night?”

“Hmm…sorry, that day’s no good. I’ve got a 24-hour shift Tuesday to Wednesday,” he said. “What about Thursday night?”

“Ah…I’ve got an appointment after work,” you said.

Really it was George’s doctor’s appointment, but you wanted to go with him this time to make sure the doctor was doing his best to diagnose George’s persistent cough.

He’d also been more tired lately, you’d noticed, even after a full night’s sleep. He was blaming it on old age, but you knew your grandfather. You knew when he was downplaying to avoid the doctor, or to avoid worrying you.

“Friday?” you posed.

“I’ve got another long shift,” Dean said.

Damn it. It seemed like his schedule and yours wasn’t very compatible. You were starting to get discouraged…

“Oh, wait,” Dean said, his tone perking up. “I forgot. I’ve got this Monday off, during the day…why don’t I take you out to lunch?”

“Lunch?” You considered it with a frown. “It can be hard for me to leave my desk. I have to take a lot of calls.”

Most days you worked straight through your lunch hour. But Dean’s reply was smooth.

“That’s all right,” he said. “How about I bring takeout? Office picnic.”

Slowly, you smiled.

“Okay. I’ll see you on Monday then,” you agreed.

“Yes, you will,” Dean said. His tone was firm. “You can count on it.”

AN: Okay! How did you like part 2 of their first date? (And Dean meeting George for the first time lol.)

Hopefully round two of their second date will go better. Though Dean finally meets the infamous boss...

Next Time:

“Hey, what’s your progress on the Greenway account…oh,” said Nick, pausing where he stood.

He took note of Dean in the room and straightened his posture. His expression changed from its lazy gait, to a more tightened one. You swore you could spot a tinge of annoyance as well, like he was surprised that he hadn’t caught you alone in your office.

“I see I’m interrupting,” he said.

Holding in a sigh, you looked over at Dean and found him similarly assessing Nick.

“This is Dean. You might remember him from last week, when the elevator broke down. He’s one of the firefighters who got me out,” you said.

Your hand fell on your companion's arm. “Dean, this is—”

“Her boss,” Nick said. He seemed to lighten up and give Dean a smile, reaching over to shake the man’s hand. Dean obliged him.

“So I’ve heard,” he said.

Keep Reading: PART 5

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb

@vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91

@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @ultrahviolentart @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420

#reader appreciation #lovely mutuals #smoke eater feedback

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vigilantejustice · 6 years ago

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just to continue my diatribe in the tags

#so then i get worried that the ace label is wrong #but how can i ever know for sure if i never want to be with someone like that or even just be in a relationship in general #i think i knew i was bi a while before i knew it y’know i think that had a lot to do with my dad #because he constantly used slurs as insults when i was growing up i can’t count the number of things he said + i think that definitely #has a lot to do with the latency + the reluctance of me realising #the real messed up bit is that occasionally i get scared that i’m actually not bi + that i’m gay #so i definitely have a lot of internalised issues there which. i don’t even know where to start #i hope that doesn’t sound offensive it’s all internalised stuff #i feel like i’ve realised i’m bi but haven’t completely accepted it if that makes sense #i guess this whole thing is hard because there’s no concrete definitive answer. it’s not tangible it’s all feelings #+ i don’t handle that well #i have SO many issues on top of all this to the point where i couldn’t imagine ever being with a person ever + i’m 25 + it feels like i’m #running out of time to figure this stuff out i mean i’ve never even held hands with someone #i went on one date which feels like a fever dream because i would never have done something like that in a hundred years but i did it #it was a guy from a dating app + the second i got to the cinema my flight response kicked in + i spent the entire movie thinking about #leaving he was real nice but that whole scene is not for me #i’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life #i don’t know how to do social situations i don’t know how to do physical contact #i don’t know how to want these things #this is a mess none of this makes sense lmao sorry #personal

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makeste · 3 years ago

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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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purple-heart-x · 3 years ago

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Error

I’ve been encouraged to post some of the old, old writing that I have. Very whumpy, though I didn’t know there was a word for that. I’m cringing a little and it’s much less polished than my newer stuff, but enjoy!

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Summary/Context: Because this started as a blurb between friends, y’all need some context. It go bullet point because Joy no want to make the paragraph make sense

The Healer has some limited magic powers but relies heavily on actual medical practice because she has not fully mastered her power. She is a human, but was gifted healing and several other powers. This is 100% lore and no I will not explain (jk i will have you seen me lore dump in asks lmao)

Jack is a half-ghost, half-human being. He is able to travel dimensions via runes and, as a non-fully-human, is originally from a non-human realm. Think Omen from Valorant? He speaks in bold/italics/both when distressed or in pain. Which both apply here :) He was a stranger to the humans at first, but eventually helped them on their quest. He knew the rovers for a long time, notably Quinn. He had become their friend, but disappeared mysteriously right after their first “adventure” was over. (And now we know, he was captured by Jules)

Quinn is half-human, half-”robot” (not truly a robot, but close.st definition available). He led a group of others of his kind (called rovers) for a long time until a series of events led mainly by Jules brought him, his group, the Healer, and several other similarly-powered humans together. Other rovers include Paragon. (There are more, but they haven’t been introduced yet.) Humans will remain unnamed except the Healer, for now.

After Jules was defeated back then, they gave up on their previous base and decided to make their new base a huge house (more of a mansion). This is the current setting, for the most part.

Jules is an extraterrestrial menace from Jack’s original universe. They strive to gain power to take over the world. It is unclear why, but they see eliminating Jack as well as all the rovers as essential to their plan succeeding. They do not care about the humans but try to destroy them when they get in their way.

In Chapter 2 I use different text styles like bold and italics to note different people talking. I’m betting you can guess who Quinn is! :D

That’s it for now, feel free to ask anything you’d like. I might continue this, I’ve come to like it.

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Tagging- @shydragonrider

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If you think you know exactly what universe this is referencing, please do not publicly comment. My DMs should be open.

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TW: Mention of starvation, mans gets injured, fever, delirium, everyone’s got b a c k s t o r y,

Chapter 1

She ran after his racing form, desperately calling his name as he veered left and right, trying to lose her. She followed close, pleas for him to wait eventually silenced by breathlessness. She decided to gradually slow down, and the next time he changed direction, she pretended to continue away from him. She cut through the trees, just in time to see him summon a small rune to open a portal. Just in time to hesitate then follow him through.

The first thing she noticed was the lack of colour in this place. Everything was reduced nearly to grey, with only faint hints of colour, if any. Jack was standing in the center of a large grey platform, making an obvious effort not to move a muscle despite the beads of sweat on his forehead and the shakiness of each breath he took. He didn’t even notice the huge figure opposite him until they spoke. “Did you arrive without issue?”

They could almost feel his fear as he responded. “I… was followed briefly…”

“And?”

“I lost… them within… ten minutes…”

The figure nodded, staring coldly down at him. “Well, since you failed your simple task…”

Something in him seemed to break his mask and he started to tremble. “P-p-please-- It-- Please, it’s been four d-da-”

“BE SILENT!”

He was starting to hunch inwards, shaking violently by now. “P-p- I--”

They were screaming now, “You thought it would be five days? MAKE IT SIX!”

She barely suppressed her gasp of shock.

And then, he fell. His legs collapsed under him and he fell forward, arms wrapped around his now-still form. They regarded him from their high stance and then left, closing off the platform and the area surrounding it in some cage.

She silently counted out three full minutes, making sure they were truly gone, before emerging from their hiding place in the shadows. She climbed the steep steps quickly, rushing to his side. Whispered his name. Glanced quickly around to make sure no one heard.

He didn’t respond and no one seemed to hear, so she tried again. He still did not respond. Gently, she turned him over on his back, shocked at how light he was. She grasped his shoulder and lightly shook him, trying not to disturb him too much. “Jack, please… Wake up…”

He finally stirred, slowly opening his eyes. When they landed on her, they widened, and he drew in a breath, throwing an arm out to shield his face. “Please-! Please d- I-!”

She was shocked at how afraid he was. Even in the face of danger, he’d always maintained his grim composure, but now here he was, trembling on the floor, raw fear clear on his face. Immediately, she tried to calm him, speaking quietly so as not to frighten him. “Hey… Jack, it’s okay-- I’m not here to hurt you.”

He tried to say something else, but his already weak arms suddenly gave out.

She lunged, barely catching him from cracking his head on the ground. Gently, she lowered him to the ground, trying not to show the concern on her face that would only make him panic. Once he realised he had been released, he stared up at her with wide eyes. “H-how… Why… You--”

She was kneeling now, next to him. “I’m not going to hurt you. You are safe with me, I promise you.

He blinked, eyes full of panic fading back down to exhaustion. “I- I- D-didn’t mean t…o… R-run…”

She nodded. “From what I heard, I gather she made you…?”

He nodded. “Sh-she wanted me to… Spy…”

“It’s alright,” she assured him.

He spoke, suddenly. “D-d-do you h-have…Water...”

She was surprised- yet so glad- that he’d asked for it outright. “Yes, here,” she said, unstrapping a water bottle from her belt.

She held it out for him. But although he strained to move his arm, eyes tearing up from the effort, he could not do it. Through the whole thing, he was stuttering, full of fear, trying to beg for her to wait, that he could do it, to please, please-

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s okay. Here, let me help you.”

She helped him sit up, leaning against the edge of the boundary. Little droplets of tears ran down his face, and he was trying not to fully cry, they could feel it. She held the bottle for him, allowing him to finally drink. “It’s alright…”

He looked so desperate for the water. It almost broke her. She tried to keep their mind off it, instead focusing on allowing him to drink his fill. He'd only gotten worse since when she'd first seen him. Each breath came with a shudder and his eyes were by now fluttering. He was trying to say something, but his words slurred.

She tried to keep the concern off their face. "Jack… I don't think you're doing too well right now after what you've been through, and I don't have many of the things I need to help you. Can I bring you to our base? We can help you there."

His eyes were struggling to stay open. His voice was hoarse and barely audible. "Wi- W-Wi...th th-em-?”

She had to respond honestly. "Yes, with everyone."

His breathing trembled worse as he asked, "With- him?"

She nodded again. "Yes, with him. He misses you, Jack…"

The shivering form blinked. "Oh," he said in a tiny voice.

And then he dropped down into unconsciousness.

---

Bonus! Short Chapter :)

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Chapter 2

"What happened?"

"He's here?"

"He's hurt?"

"Where was he?"

"…Jack…?"

She bit her lip and tried to answer the questions as quickly as possible. "He was forced to spy on us for days by- by Jules. They starved him for about four or five days, yet still forced him to run on what appears to have progressed into an ankle broken in three places."

She glanced at her friends' faces. Shock, all of them. Quinn looked sick, refusing to look up from his friend's troubled face as he blinked back tears.

They had to do something. "Somebody get the first aid kit. Somebody else make some tea. No sugar. He won't be able to handle it right now. Is the guest room open?"

Everyone fell into place with the orders. It was time to save their falling friend.

---

Man, y’all are getting content today. One more juicy chapter for tonight.

---

Chapter 3

Two days. That's how long it took for him to wake up. That's how long Quinn stayed up, at his side. Unable to sleep. Only able to sit and watch as the one he loved wavered between life and death.

Two days. That's how long the Healer worked, trying to get him to wake up. How long she tried to hold back her tears for the others. How long she spent each night between checks on him to research in her small personal library.

Two days. That's how long the others feared their shadowy friend would simply disappear in front of them.

Two. Days. That was enough for Jules to know he was gone.

Everyone knew that. Some wanted to fight while others wanted to run. Quinn finally called a meeting the second night.

"Well, as you may know, Jack is still not awake. And by now it is far enough along that Jules knows he is gone."

Murmurs follows his statements.

"I also am aware that we are conflicted on what should be done."

Almost immediately, people shouted out their opinions and reasonings. He hushed them. "What I think we must do," he spoke louder to be heard, "is to see if this location is in her view, and if it is…"

Everyone paused as his voice got low. "We'll make sure that digital horror never finds us or hurts us again."

Some people were nodding while others were looking slightly doubtful. But as Jaidan quickly pulled up the database, the Healer came sprinting down the stairs, whispering something in Quinn’s ear. The look on Quinn’s face never changed, but a slight twitch in his facial muscles alerted Paragon. He tilted his head just slightly, and Quinn nodded. He approached the mini “stage” in the middle of the room, which was really just the one misplaced stair that they hadn’t bothered to remove. He picked up where Quinn had left off, a common experience in their household.

Meanwhile, Quinn was silent as he rushed up the stairs behind the Healer. The minute they’d flown down the stairs, he knew something was wrong. Group meetings were hard enough without interruption, since the group was so big to begin with. “Jack’s woken up,” she whispered urgently, “half-delirious and dreaming he’s being hurt. He’s asking for you.”

Asking, he found, was a stretch. A more accurate word would be begging. As he climbed the final stairs, he could already hear Jack’s ragged sobs from the furthest room down the corridor. The Healer’s dark eyes were sorrowful and concerned as they stepped aside to let him pass before them. He strode quickly down the hall, opening the door cautiously.

Jack was on the bed, looking tiny even on the small-sized bed. Perhaps that was also partially because he was bent almost double, hands clutched together as if to defend his face, whimpering in complete terror of an unknown attacker. What hit him harder than a sword in the chest, though, was the sentence that kept tumbling out of Jack’s mouth each time his mind perceived another attack in whatever delusion he was trapped in.

“Quinn… H-Help me…” he trembled, “Please, it hurts so bad- Make it stop… Please, make it stop… Quinn, p-please help me…”

And he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He didn’t even know Quinn was actually there. There were so many things bubbling in Quinn’s chest, but he pushed them aside as he rushed to the side of the bed, not hesitating to sit on it next to his terrified friend.

Quinn knew him, knew what would help. He turned slightly, lifting Jack into his arms. As the tiny figure began to struggle, he restrained him, looping an arm around his flailing ones. He hugged him close, firmly, but loosely enough that he wouldn’t feel trapped. “It’s okay,” he said in a soft tone, “I’m here… I’m not going to let them hurt you any more, okay? I’m here now, it’s okay.”

The grey-eyed figure stopped struggling as he recognised the voice. “Q-Quinn?” he asked, squinting without his glasses.

“It’s me,” he said again, sighing quietly in relief as Jack calmed down slightly.

Jack swallowed hard, shifting with Quinn’s help to face him. “I-It hurts,” he wept, face still clenched tight with pain.

“I know, hun, we’re trying to get it to stop,” Quinn whispered gently.

It was like that for a while, Quinn holding Jack close while Jack held on tighter. It was as if he didn’t truly believe Quinn was actually there, and he clutched tightly to his oldest friend as if to keep him from leaving again. And even though his fingers were digging slightly into Quinn’s skin, he was able to tolerate it by the way Jack’s arms shook with effort.

Even though Jack was so relieved to have Quinn with him, his body was giving out too much to express it. He was barely able to gasp out anything besides “It hurts”, to which Quinn could only try to soothe him.

Eventually, he couldn’t even manage that, and started to fall back into unconsciousness. He fell asleep with Quinn stroking his hair lightly.

Quinn nodded to the Healer, who lingered in the doorway, and she gently rested her hands on the injured soul’s waist to bring him to the med table. But the minute her fingertips touched him, he flinched and jolted awake, a tiny, scared noise escaping his lips.

Before he could panic further, Quinn jumped in. “It’s okay, Jack, that’s just my friend. She’s here to help you feel better, okay? I’m still here. I’m still here, I promise.”

Jack relaxed slightly and allowed the Healer to pick him up. He gave a little nod, and whispered, “O-okay…” as the Healer carried him gently to the next room.

A whimper lingered in the air.

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dolliedarlin · 4 years ago

Note

Hi I’m one of the anons who’s obsessing over the P.A series!!!!! For some reason my brain has been full w diff things that could happen IDKKK! Hope u don’t mind if I dump a few....

TW: this is A bunch of rambling and some grammar errors LMAO sorry

Idk y I c y/n having a stalker💀 this prob sounds rlly weird but hear me out. (To add drama, also I Lowkey wanna c Mina,Sero and kiri get mad idk y-)

Since we all know y/n is the baddest most sophisticated b*tch (sorry idk if I’m allowed to cuss or not LMAO) her Ex lover is still obsessed w her and thinks that they are soulmate even tho they obv aren’t. I feel like y/n knows he stalks her but she ignores it until it gets worst. Like he found out where she lives. (He finds out where she lives while she’s sick which is now loll)

Anyways I feel like Mina would be over at y/ns place and since she’s getting better they are In her living room talking abt who knows what and y/n gets a knock on her door she goes to open it and admittedly closes it looking shocked. Mina being a pro hero is supposed to be able to read body language. Mina ask her if everything is Alr and y/n OFC (stupid a**) says yes. Mina didn’t want to keep pressing the issue so she dropped it until it became a reoccurring thing with y/n and it’s not just her that noticed. She (y/n) is extremely hesitant to open the door and when she does she opens it a little bit. (And then idk her EX does crazy like breaks into her apt and scares the sh** outa y/n) THIS IS WHERE MY BIG IDEA STOPS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 that was a lotta rambling my apologies

Have a great day dollie!

oh no! please don’t feel bad, it’s always fun for me seeing what you dolls would want to happen next

although i don’t plan on bringing any psycho exes into ‘the p.a’ series, as a writer and an avid daydreamer, i can’t help but play around with this idea

warning: there are brief mentions of violence ; this is not a part of ‘the p.a’ series but is just a little thought that i just couldn’t help but try my own hand at also ; i didn’t edit this either 😂 so kindly forgive any grammatical/spelling mistakes

continuing on from your idea...

⏤mina, having the sneaking suspicion that something bad might happen to you that night, notifies the rest of the group later on that day

⏤usually, bakugou was in charge of you during the night and always sat in a chair beside your bed on high alert, ready to serve your every need...

⏤BUT!

⏤now that mina told them about your suspicious behaviour, all of them were put on high alert.

⏤they all agreed to keep you unaware of their intentions by having bakugou take care of you like usual but they made sure that when on the night patrol, they were close by with their radios on and constantly being hyper aware of the shortest route to your residence from wherever they were situated - just in case of an emergency

⏤naturally, they trusted bakugou with keeping you safe but that didn’t mean that they had no worries for you at all

⏤seeing as you usually feel asleep before bakugou switched with the sero, who took care of you in the late evening, you were under the impression that you were alone at home

⏤your current condition disallowed you from comfortably staying awake so you were constantly tossing and turning in bed, brows furrowed and sweating more than usual

⏤”what is she dreaming about?” bakugou utters in frustration as he continues to wipe away the vastly accumulating sweat rom your wrinkled brows

⏤he wasn’t frustrated at you no no, he was annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t make you comfortable no matter how many wet towels he uses to cook your forehead or wipe your sweat clean off your skin

⏤as the night progresses, you eventually fall into a dreamless sleep, far too exhausted to continue stressing over your ex with the added burden of your fever on your body

⏤nevertheless, bakugou continues being on high alert at all times except for when he momentarily leaves to room so as to go to the toilet

⏤this was the perfect opportunity for your crazy ex to sneak into your room via the window bakugou left ajar so as to help cool you down better

⏤your ex was a creepy and disgusting man - someone that you had grown to dislike the more you got to know him and naturally left as quickly as you were able to

⏤what followed was harassment to the highest degree, thankfully you were able to protect yourself due to your self defence training and quirk, however, it didn’t take away the shuddering feeling of being watched constantly

⏤you grew paranoid and extremely fidgety over time and eventually filled for a restraining order. unfortunately, that didn’t work and left you to deal with the situation yourself

⏤you were naive enough to think that you had shaken him after a particularly horrible beating he took from you in self defence. he had come at you with a knife but you were able to disarm him and send him limping home with a dislocated arm, a black eye and a bruised ribcage

⏤over time, you got busy with work and slowly forgot about him, it wasn’t until today that you were reminded of his crazy obsession with you and were thrown into a panic

⏤believing that you were alone at night and in your most vulnerable state, you didn’t feel safe and sought to deal with the situation however you could, even in your dreams

⏤all attempts were in vain, however

⏤bakugou, returning from his momentary break to the toilet came back just in time to see your creepy ex hovering over your sleeping figure. as if you sensed the unpleasant existence stalking you, your body stiffened under the blankets and you began to breathe uncomfortably, beginning to sweat bucket-fulls once more

⏤not wanting to disturb your sleep as rest was the top priority for you, bakugou crept up from behind the unknown figure and instantly went for his neck, choking him into silence as he dragged his thrashing figure outside, far away from you all the while sending a emergency signal to the rest of the squad

⏤in no time at all, the rest of the squad arrived and had your crazy ex cornered. at this time he had already been tied up by bakugou and was ready for a quick chat

⏤”what the hell were you doing with our yn?” kirishima began, sharp teeth grinding together as he clenched his jaw

⏤silence

⏤”speak up, we can’t fucking hear you,” bakugou spat as the others glared on from beside him, their eyes piercing through the moonlight and darkness of the night

⏤”y-yn isn’t yours - that’s the first thing,” your ex finally cracked, giggling creepily in between

⏤”you’re right,” sero began, “yn doesn’t belong to anyone so why were did you break into her house,” it took everything in sero not to lash out but they needed answers

⏤”wrong again!” your ex sang, “she doesn’t belong to you, she belongs to me! i’m her boyfriend!”

⏤”yn doesn’t have a boyfriend,” kaminari spoke up

⏤”that’s right! and if she did, we would have known,” mina agreed

⏤“that’s because she doesn’t know it yet, we broke up but we’ll get back together again soon” the tied up man giggled to himself, “it’s only a matter of time before she realises her mistake and she comes back to me,”

⏤the team of heroes didn’t know what to say, they were so shocked and appalled at what they were seeing and hearing that they couldn’t bring themselves to utter a single word of response, they only listened further

⏤”i hoped she’d come back soon, anyway...but i was getting impatient so i had to try and convince her a little more. she’s been ignoring my love for her all this time, she can’t continue rejecting me for long...” he laughs, “i bet she misses it”

⏤“miss what...?” bakugou didn’t want to know but it had to be said

⏤”i bet she misses being with me. she’s so beautiful and so soft to the touch, she always smells good too and she has such a lovely voice - i want her all to myself, she doesn’t deserve to be anybody else’s”

⏤it was then that the team of heroes just about lost their minds. the creep before them didn’t say anything explicit but the madness in his eyes and the harrowing smile he was displaying was off putting. they dread to imagine what a lowlife nasty sob like him put you through but they saw flashes of unforgivable scenes that sent all of them into insanity

⏤someone so precious to them didn’t deserve any such treatment. you may not have disclosed anything to them strict on being professional but if this man was willing to break into your house...they were fearful to think about what else he was capable of

⏤he deserved a beating from that act alone, actually, and a beating he got

⏤they could’ve killed the guy - they were more than tempted to and it would have been so easy...but he deserved to suffer in jail for his crimes against you so they held back no matter how painful that was for them

⏤the very next day, under their authority and recommendation, the man was locked up for as many years as they could tally up and seeing as they were heroes, they were able to look into his past documentations and found you had filed a restraining order for him under harassment, assault and a number of other things they grew all the more furious at the more the read

⏤they would prefer it if you didn’t realise what they did that night but the media couldn’t let the story of 5 high class pro heroes sending a singular, beaten man to jail for life

⏤your creepy ex’s battered photos were all over the news and you were so incredibly grateful

#love; dollie #precious anon #not part of the pa series #just a little imagining #this was fun

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averyonelovesjack · 4 years ago

Text

learning to raise a baby ~ daniel seavey

requested: yes:)

Can you please do an cute imagine about y/n and Daniel having a baby together and taking care of the baby and figuring the parenting stuff out together. Ur amazing

summary: follow a few different events in the life of daniel and y/n learning to raise a baby.

warning(s): baby, literally too lazy to edit this i’ll come back later lmao

word count: 2608

author’s note: i have such baby fever omg

disclaimer: i def need to clarify that i am 18 years old and do not have a baby and i have no close friends with babies (in person, at least) therefore this is purely fiction. i watch a LOT (i mean A LOT) of family vloggers and like teen mom accounts raising their kids, so basically all of my knowledge comes from that. i hope no one takes offence to my depiction of it, but my intention is purely just to write this cute fic idea, and i don’t want to pretend like i know anything about parenting or raising a child or anything like that!! okay that’s all!!

I could barely see my feet as I painfully took in another breath of air and started walking forward. Awoken at 3am with terrible back pain and a pool of amniotic fluid at my waist, Daniel and I now rushed to grab our hospital bag and make our way to the labor and delivery section of our nearest hospital.

everything went so fast. before i was actively having a child, it felt like my pregnancy would never end, but now that it’s actually happening and i’m having a child, it felt like pregnancy flew by.

just a few days ago, i was sitting on the countertop in my bathroom, impatiently waiting to see if i was pregnant or not in hopes that daniel wouldn’t get home from the studio early and find me. i had just given daniel the surprise of his lifetime when i woke him up at four am to tell him i was pregnant because i just couldn’t keep it from him anymore to do a fun reveal. i remember how we both cried, too excited to even go back to sleep.

just a few days ago, daniel and i were sitting in my obstetrician’s office as we got to hear our eight week old fetus’ heartbeat for the first time. we both cried. it feels like just a day or two ago we cut into a pink colored cake and found out that our precious baby girl would be coming. all of the breakdowns about what stroller to buy and which crib matches the nursey best felt like just moments ago. and now, all of a sudden, i’m ten hours into labor and i’m ready to push.

pushing was painful, but the thought of holding a sweet babygirl soon just kept me going. daniel squeezed my hand tight, standing by the end of the bed watching our beautiful daughter make her way into the world.

i gave the final push and soon i heard a cry that made everything in the whole world worth it. they say you never truly understand love until you’ve had a child, and as soon as i held our daughter, i felt an overwhelming sense of truth in that statement. i never knew such a distinct moment could be the greatest day of my life, but as soon as i laid my eyes on her, i knew that i would never get a day greater than this one.

our daughter laid on my chest for a while as daniel sat by my head, holding both my hand and hers. eventually, the nurses cleaned her off a bit and wrapped her tightly in a swaddle for daniel to finally hold his daughter. i watched the tears fall from his bluer than ever eyes that never left her little face. by the way she settled in his arms and fell asleep, i knew i was going to have a daddy’s little girl on our hands.

it felt like forever, just watching daniel and our baby getting to know each other. soon enough, though, the doctors finished with the stitches and i heard a knock at the door.

within seconds, both of our parents came into the room, bearing wide smiles. daniel sat in the seat next to me, both of us staring at the beautiful baby in front of us.

“does she have a name?” keri asks, slowly walking up to the two of us, careful not to be too loud.

daniel and i look at each other, and then i give him the nod to tell everyone. “callista avery mae seavey.”

“our little baby callie.” i smile at the name. daniel and i both loved the name callie, but wanted it to be a nickname. avery was after his bandmate who really helped us through this whole preparing to be parents thing. mae was a pretty nickname from my side of the family that was good to separate avery and seavey. our little callie mae.

***

it was three am and both of us were awake to callie’s loud screaming. turns out that daniel and i had a very colicky daughter who, when awake, wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. daniel was in the nursery trying to grab more diapers and wipes that, out of exhaustion, we forgot to restock last night when we ran out. i held callie in our arms, rocking her gently and trying to get her to go back to sleep.

“does she have a dirty diaper?” daniel asks, placing the diapers in the corner of our messy bedroom. a few days into callie’s life, we realized we should’ve left the changing table in our bedroom until she was ready to sleep in the nursey, but both of us were too tired to even think about moving the furniture around. so for now the corner of the room was storage and a changing pad on the bench was our late night changing table.

“i don’t think so.” i answer, giving him an exhausted look. “her diaper isn’t heavy and i tried to feed her, but she doesn’t seem to be hungry. i think she just woke up and is being colicky again.”

“how long did the doctor say the colic will last?” daniel asks.

“she didn’t.” i sigh, going to take a seat on our bed as i continued to calm callie. daniel sat beside me. “go back to sleep, i got her.”

“no, i know you’ve been awake all night. try to go to sleep, i’ve got her.” daniel says, and then takes callie from me. “did you take melatonin tonight?”

“yeah.” i say. “i know your body goes through a lot of changes postpartum, but i’m really not liking the insomnia.”

“okay, well, you lay down, and i’m gonna sing to you both, okay?” daniel says and then starts to rock callie to sleep as i laid beside them. and then he started to sing softly.

***

callie was born a little over three months ago and daniel and i haven’t had a date night since then. when we fearfully realized that last week, jack and anna were both quick to offer some help. we hadn’t felt comfortable leaving callie yet, especially since she wasn’t always the easiest. we had lots of help and people offering, but neither daniel nor i were good at asking for help. that’s definitely something we’re both still working on, especially now that we have a baby.

finally though, jack and anna convinced us. originally, we were going to leave them with daniel’s parents, but anna and jack were pretty convincing. jack had lots of experience since he himself is a dad, and anna was very close with gabbie when she had lavender. jack also decided to invite zach for some more company, which was cute.

daniel and i had a hard time saying goodbye to callie, even though we really were only going to be out for two hours at most. we knew neither of us could stay away for that long.

the restaurant wasn’t too far from the house, which was nice because it cut down on our time away from callie. i think both of us were a little nervous to leave her. we both know that she’s three months old and other people are more than capable of watching her for a few hours, but it’s still hard to not be worried about all of the things we could be missing out on.

“oh my gosh, anna just sent a picture of callie.” daniel says in the middle of our dinner, holding up his phone to show up me the picture of our daughter in the adorable pajamas her aunt bought.

“i miss her.” i admit, knowing he was feeling similarly. “do you think they had a hard time getting her to sleep? i hope she’ll be good for them tonight.”

“i’m sure she was fine.” daniel says, then later . “you know, maybe we should skip dessert. relieve them a little early.”

“she’s growing up so fast.” i tell him. “i’m not ready for her to keep growing.”

“we’re gonna blink and she’s gonna be cursing us out because we wouldn’t let her go out with her friends.” daniel continues. “not that we would do that, because honestly, i’ve always thought we’d be a little cooler than that.”

i laugh at his comment. “oh, we’ll definitely be cooler than that. we’re not gonna be the lame strict parents that doesn’t let their kids go out with their friends.”

“oh definitely.” daniel agrees. “except i will be strict about doors open if someone is over. i don’t care who she’s in her room with, but that door better be open. i am taking no chances.”

“i feel like that’s fair.” i add. “i know we’re parents, but wow, until i think about that future, i kind of forget.”

“i’m very glad that’s a long ways away.” he comments. “i’m barely ready for her to be three months old, we do not need to get ahead of ourselves. take this parenting thing one step at a time.”

“i could not agree more.” i smile, leaning over the table to kiss daniel’s lips gently.

***

i walked out of my one year old’s nursery with her in my arms. we watched as daniel and anna hung balloons up around our california apartment. it’s just about an hour before callie’s first birthday party, and now more than ever, i could not be more grateful for daniel’s family’s offer to help us set up.

rather than fighting with figuring out food for the party, we decided to get it catered. christian and tyler offered to go pick up the food at the restaurant for us, which was extremely helpful. his parents were setting up some decorations around the front of the apartment.

i had just put callie in her adorable dress that i specifically picked out for this party. we weren’t the type to throw parties, so we weren’t 100% sure what to do or what to expect, but we decided to just stick to family and close friends. callie was too young for us to strictly invite her friends over. at this stage in her life, her friends were whoever was at mommy&me that week.

the party was going to be small. daniel’s family, my family, daniel’s bandmates and close friends, and then my close friends.

thankfully, we finished decorating and setting up with about thirty minutes left to spare before the party. rather than worry, i decided to just sit on the couch with anna and daniel. keri took callie from me, wanting to spend some time with her granddaughter, and giving daniel and i a brief break before the party started.

“i cannot believe she’s a year old.” anna exclaims to me. “you guys have been parents for a year. that’s crazy to think about.”

“it’s definitely a little bit weird.” i giggle in response.

“you guys make it look so easy, being young parents.” anna says. “i know i’m younger than you guys, but still, i cannot imagine having a kid anytime soon.”

“i didn’t think i would either.” i tell anna. “for me, i wasn’t really ready until i met dani. i realized that i was ready because i wanted to do this with him. it’s different for everyone, i’m sure, but at least personally, that’s how i knew we could be parents.”

daniel wraps his arm around me on the couch, kissing my cheek softly. “yeah, it’s the same for me. when you find someone you want to do everything with, it gets easier to imagine yourself parenting together.”

“that is really cute.” anna says. “this is what i mean, when i say you make it look easy!!”

“it’s definitely not easy.” i laugh. “but it’s a little bit easier when you work as a team. we talk things through and decide together, instead of just making decisions separately. it’s a lot easier to feel like you’re making the right decision when you talk things through.”

“and that is all the parenting advice you get, because while i am most definitely ready to be a dad, i am not ready to be an uncle.” daniel says, getting protective over his younger sister.

“being an uncle is way easier than being a dad.” anna laughs. “but trust me, i’m not having kids any time soon. at least not intentionally.”

“well, i have to be the cool uncle. someone’s gotta bail the kid out of jail and hide it from you.” daniel jokes.

“first of all, why would my kid go to jail??” anna asks. “and second of all, you might’ve been first in the race for cool uncle before callie arrived, but since becoming a dad, you’ve fallen behind. the cool uncle can’t have kids, that’s not how that works.”

“well i’ll break that standard, because i’ll be the cool uncle.”

“i just want to be the aunt that gives good advice at one o’clock in the morning.” i tell them. “someone’s gotta do it. i expect that for callie, anna, so i will do that for your kids.”

“oh, of course. nothing but the best for callie. and future kids.” anna agrees. “speaking of, future kids? any thoughts on that? mom wants me to scope that out.”

“eventually.” i smile. “sooner rather than later.”

***

daniel took callie on a walk. he’s been really adamant about spending at least thirty minutes a day on a walk with her. now that she’s getting a lot more balance and ability to take a lot more steps, he loves taking her to the playground a few blocks from our apartment. usually, i like to go with them, but today i made up an excuse about things i had to get done at home.

i felt especially grateful for that routine of his today, because i needed a few minutes to myself. i’ve been feeling particularly nauseated recently, and as soon as i woke up the other day, i could feel that i was pregnant again. in the past, i had always thought that when i was paranoid about being late, but now that i’ve actually experienced pregnancy, i can feel that there’s a little fetus inside of me.

daniel and i haven’t exactly been trying, but we haven’t been taking as many precautions as we were when callie was first born. now that she’s over a year old, we feel better about having another baby. we weren’t too rushed, because we lot spending time with just our little girl, but we didn’t want to wait too long and have her grow up without a sibling. having a sibling was always a priority of daniel and i’s. seeing as we both grew up with siblings, we know how important it is to have a sibling.

my stomach fluttered with butterflies as i followed the instructions on the pregnancy test. after realizing i was pregnant with callie, i had bought a ton of tests that i didn’t end up using because it was so obvious that i was indeed pregnant. that was extremely helpful for right now when i don’t have time to go sit in traffic for thirty minutes just to go to the pharmacy.

i sat on top of the counter, leaving the pregnancy test face down while i tried to scroll through tiktok and distract myself. it was probably the slowest five minutes of my life, other than finding out about callie.

the timer went off on my phone. i take a deep breath and carefully lift the pregnancy test off the marble bathroom counter.

pregnant.

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no-psi-nan · 3 years ago

Text

Extra Love Stories of Psychics Volume 2

Experimental Censored Edition

Chapter 2: Tablⓔⓢⓟooning

It's one thing to know that your boyfriend has godly powers and quite another thing to witness insane magical feats before breakfast.

But that's okay! Aiura is up to the challenge~!

Full chapter on AO3, T-rated version below the cut. More info about the Experimental Censored Version here.

Censored content: A few lines of typical outrageous Aiura dialogue (about the same level as I let her get away with in Moving Forward)

"Knock knock, Kusuo~! I found a hella sexy pancake recipe on insta and I'm making it for breakfast~!"

[Oh, thank you Mikoto!]

"I'm coming in~ …Hey, there's no one here! Where are you, babe?"

[I'm actually in my own bedroom, good grief.]

"LOL for realsies?? I never thought I'd see the day you slept in your own bed anymore lmaooo!"

[Er.]

[I didn't sleep here, actually.]

[Touma-kun just headed out earlier this morning.]

[Nature walk with Nendo and Mera, he said.]

[No thanks. Those three are seriously too comfortable with bugs.]

"Hahaha, that makes a lottt more sense! I'm coming in~!"

[Wait, don't actually come in he– ]

"It's all dark in h– AHHHHHH YOU'RE ON FIRE?!! HOLY SHIT I–"

[Hey. Calm down. It's fine.]

"What do you MEAN it's fine–"

[I'm just autoclaving.]

"You're just WHAT?!"

[It's just normal autoclaving, good grief.]

[Look, I'm levitating so I won't damage the floors.]

"THE FLOORS ARE NOT RLY THE PROBLEM HERE…"

[It's like when you have a fever. And your body burns off the bacteria.]

"Kusuo, there is literally fire coming out of your eyes and nose and mouth!!! That's NOT NORMAL!!!"

[What a pain. Don't worry about it.]

[I'll be done in just a minute.]

"H-how are your clothes not burning off??"

[That's the last step. Seriously, don't worry about it.]

"Goddddd, okay…"

[Sorry, I should have warned you earlier.]

[I used to autoclave before bed, but since moving here, it's just been more convenient to do it in the morning.]

"Good 2 know, I'll wait for the all-clear next time lol. …Wait, the 'autoclaving' is how you stop yourself from getting sick, right?"

[Yes.]

[It also deep cleans from the inside out and prevents tooth decay.]

[I have to admit that this power is pretty useful.]

"Damnit, and it's just pyrokinesis again right?? For real, I am SO jelly of your pyrokinesisss!!"

[Guessing you haven't been able to copy this one yet, huh?]

"UGH… Not from lack of trying!! I'm p sure I get the theory behind it, but none of my powers are similar at all so it's hard to know what it should feel like!"

[Er.]

[It should feel hot.]

"LMAO should've guessed that one!"

[What a pain. Wish I could help.]

"Aww, that's alright! TBH my body probably wouldn't be able to handle being on fire as well as yours does either, lol. But you go ahead and finish doing your thing, I'll get the coffee started, k?"

[Thank you, Mikoto.]

[Sorry about the scare.]

"Dw babe! Honestly, I think the fiery look is kinda sexy now that I know it's not hurting you~ You're looking SUPER hot, lmao!"

[You are seriously incredible.]

------------------------------

"All done with your Calcifer moment, lol?"

[Yes.]

[I hope your bacon doesn't burn.]

"Hahaha, thank you~! Here's your coffee, and if you sit down there, I'll get started on the pancakes~!"

[Thank– Wait, did you just think 'espresso pancakes and tiramisu ice cream' to yourself just now? Seriously?]

"Aww, you got me there!"

[Oh wow… That does sound 'hella sexy'… ]

"Gotcha~! I know my boo! And I'll be taking my pancakes with some bacon now that you've brought it up, I think! Yummm~!"

[Hmm.]

"That sounds to me like you want a little bacon too, huh? You got it, babe~!"

[Good grief… I might be the telepath, but you're the amazing one, figuring out people without using your powers.]

"Awwww, that's sweet of you to say, Kusuo~! Oh, what are your plans for today btw babe? I got in late from dance circle last night so I totes didn't get a chance to ask!"

[I plan to spend most of the day with my mother.]

[I know she misses me.]

"And you miss her too, huh~? Mama's boy~!"

[Shut up… ]

[Anyways. What are your plans?]

"Wellll, I'm taking Chiyopipi window-shopping today and then we're getting massages! She wants to write a scene for one of her fics, y'know, but she's never gotten a for realsies massage before! I told her she should just go get one and she was a little nervous about it, so I'm coming with~"

[Hmm. Let me know if you run into trouble.]

"Hehehe, you don't have to worry, babe! I promise we're not going to some shady dig~ It's kind of an upscale place, actually! One of my homegirls works there and scored us some hella sweet coupons~!"

[Huh. Is that what they call 'friends with benefits'?]

"Hahaha! Aww, now that I think about it, I totes wish I could take you there for a couple's massage! But I think your therapist might quit on the spot when they realize they can't move your muscles at all lol. Unless you could, like, totally relax them, maybe??"

[There's a thought… ]

[But I don't think I'd enjoy letting a stranger touch me like that.]

[With my germanium ring, I'd feel worried about what they might do.]

[Without the ring, I'd have to listen to the thoughts of everyone who's trying to relax and forget their troubles.]

[Either way, it's a pain.]

"Awww, my poor Kusuooo! And you would hardly feel the pressure anyways, wouldn't you, babe?"

[Unfortunately, no.]

[But I have figured out a few tricks.]

[Maybe I'll take you to my massage place one day.]

"Ooohhh, now you've got me ~curious~!"

[Heh. I'll schedule that date later.]

"HYPE!!! And talking about scheduling, I heard from Aketoumi that it's my turn to snooze with you 2nite~!"

[ …What do you mean by 'scheduling'?]

"Batter, batter, batter~! …Hm? Well, you can't sleep with Aketoumi every night, right? He goes on his crazy lil nerd benders p often and then he's no good as a bed buddy for you!"

[I can just sleep in my own bed those nights.]

"Uhhh, yeah like, technically you could. But why would you?? You can sleep over with me~!"

[Good grief… ]

[Aiura, I like sleeping over with you. But we both know you're a light sleeper.]

[You're awake half the time when I'm over. Seriously. Even when I stopped breathing to see if that would help.]

"Oh shit yeah, that gave me a hell of a scare lol! But it's really just so cozy that it's totes worth it sometimes~! And a Saturday night like this is just perf for snuggling my Kusuo~!"

[What a pain, you need your sleep.]

"And so do YOU babe!! For realsies!! Like, your brain is litcherally still developing, so your powers are probs gonna be growing and changing too! And you're already extra tired from not having your limiters any more, Kusuo, and the only cure for that is proper sleep, fr. We've all noticed how much better you've been after Aketoumi started sleeping over at your parents' place with you, boo! And you're finally losing those designer bags under your eyes now that you're sleeping together p much every night! Plus you've gotten more control over your powers in the last few weeks than in the months before that, so obvs you need your 💤s to be able to handle your crazy ESP!!"

[Yes, but I'll be fine sleeping on my own for a night or two, good grief.]

[I know we're dating, but that doesn't mean I should make trouble for you every day!]

"Oh, dw, you're literally not lol."

[So I'll be allowed to sleep on my own then?]

"Oh, no fucking way, lmao."

[ … ]

[Aiura. Explain.]

"…chocolate chips. Alright, sorry, putting the final touches on these pancakes~! Yeah, so, basically I went and talked with ya bois next door and they're all totally cool with you sleeping over any time! Saiko and Mera were hangin' with them at the time and they volunteered their beds, too!"

[ … ]

[G-good grief… ]

[That's… A little embarrassing… ]

[And it feels like I'm being troublesome… ]

"Don't be silly, Kusuo~ All of us just want to see you be healthy and happy, babe, and sleeping next to you is such a teensy little thing that it's no bother at all~ In fact, ya bois are all clamoring for their turn, lmao!"

[ …Well… I guess if everyone is seriously okay with it… ]

"Hell yeah!! Now, if you like, actually want to sleep alone for a night and it's not because you think you're being a burden or whatever, then for sure you can do that, we won't stop you. But we all know that having a trusted friend nearby helps you feel so much less anxious~ And for realsies, there's no shame in that!"

[ … ]

[That's alright then… ]

"Actually I bet the girls would be cool with you sleeping over too, but I figured you'd be less comfy asking them at this point lmao. Mera was totes chill w/ it tho, you know how epic she is~ And she's got hella instincts! Did you know that I caught her saving someone with a death mark on their face from getting run over?? She's hardcore!!"

[Hmm… Our friends really are strong in their own ways.]

[ … ]

[Well. Except for Kaido.]

[He's a great friend, but I'm not sure I could feel comfortable sleeping with my germanium ring around him.]

"LMAO, yeah I totes get what you mean!! Poor little chichi-chipmunk doesn't inspire much confidence loool! But dw, I'm p sure he and Kubonnu have been sleeping together every night since we got here lmao~ Tho you didn't hear it from me!"

[Hmm. Kuboyasu can even detect me when I'm invisible. He is very safe.]

"Siiigh, what a man~! Do you think there's room enough for four on Kubonnu's bed, lmao?"

[Heh. You'd break poor Kaido's heart, Mikoto.]

[He still hasn't realized that Kuboyasu has little interest in girls.]

"Ha! I'm surprised Aketoumi hasn't set up one of his lil betting pools for how long it's gonna take those two to figure stuff out!"

[I had to talk him out of it months ago.]

"LMAOOO nice! Well, here's breakfast~! Hopefully it's even sexier than it looks~!"

[This looks and smells incredible, Mikoto. Thank you.]

"Ehehehe~! Save it until you actually have a few bites lol."

[Hmm… ]

[I think this deserves a dessert spoon.]

"Oh, one of those lil tiny baby spoons, right? I love those bad boys! Do we have any?? Let me see… Hmmm… Boo… All I see are these normal-ass spoons… Not very in-character for an apartment full of psychics I guess lol."

[What a pain. Are you sure we don't have any smaller spoons?]

"Yeah… Sorry babe…"

[Good grief. I guess I'll have to make my own, then.]

" …What? Do you also have, like, spoon-making powers??"

[Something like that.]

[Hmm… This one will do, as a start.]

"Babe, that's the biggest one??”

[Not for long.]

Aiura shoots him a puzzled look, and Saiki holds eye contact with a grin as the spoon lifts up into the air and revolves lazily around its handle. Even as it spins, the spoon starts to glow a dull red, then brightens to yellow and an almost-blinding white. The edges of the spoon start to curl in on themselves, then with a crunch, the metal is smashed flat. Aiura watches, shocked, as the spoon is curled and crushed and curled and crushed faster and faster until it suddenly stops with a flash. The fiery glow fades, revealing a tiny, delicately carved dessert spoon, covered in the typical whorled pattern of folded steel.

"Oh my godddd, omfgggg????" breathes Aiura. "D-did you just– did you just FORGE that shit right in front of me??"

Saiki winks at her, grabbing his new dessert spoon to scoop a bite of ice cream into his mouth with a happy hum.

"Broooo… You really are some kind of god, huh?"

He looks faintly ill at the thought, his satisfied smile gone. Aiura rushes to reassure him, taking one of his hands, and carefully rubbing her thumb over the thin glove.

"Oh Kusuo, I don't mean it like in the 'we're on totally different levels way', tho obvs your powers are def bananas. I mean like, you always put so much effort into hiding away all of what makes you special! So when you actually show off everything that you are, it's just like… Boom!! Mind blown, y'know? But babe, please give me a little warning next time lol. I haven't even had breakfast yet!"

[Ha! …Fair enough.]

Mollified, Saiki grins and offers her the spoon, non-dominant hand to non-dominant hand so she can still brush her thumb over his skin if she wants to. And she does want to, so she keeps holding his hand even as she admires the freshly-minted dessert spoon, turning it this way and that to catch the light on the curvy fold lines.

"Y'know, having godly powers is one thing (and, like, don't get me wrong– it's a hell of a thing!), but what really truly impresses me about you, Kusuo, is how clever and creative and kinda bitchy you are with them, lmao. You always come up with a buncha different ways to solve a problem and it's super inspirational for me when I'm working on my own powers! Like, you could've just apported this spoon for a smaller one. But you wanted to show off a little for me so you went about it a totally bonkers way! And you did impress the hell out of me~!"

The light blush on Saiki's cheeks proves that he's pleased at the admission, and he doesn't even protest when she playfully steals a bite of his ice cream.

"But even then, you have such a good heart! You don't like it when you accidentally intimidate me, don't you? But don't you worry, even if you give me a spook, that's just like a gut reaction, right? I know in my mind and in my heart that you'd never hurt me, Kusuo! So please just keep being a little patient w/ me when I try to keep up with you, alright?"

[ … ]

He gives her a very soppy and affectionate look, and she can feel the psychic overflow of his joy as a mild fizzle of warmth deep in her bones.

[Mikoto, even when I do something that scares you to death, you find a way to accept and love that part of me.]

[You're the truly impressive one here, seriously.]

"Awww, baaabe… you're making me tear up, fr!! Here, come on, I'm going to kiss your cheek and hug you and then we're going to eat our epic breakfast before it gets cold, okay?"

[Don't worry about it getting cold, Mikoto. I'm here.]

[But I do want that hug and kiss… ]

[Hehehe… Mmmm~]

"You're so cute, you're so cute, you're so CUTE!! Prepare yourself for some epic cuddling 2nite, y'hear??"

[I'll be looking forward to it… ]

He steals the tiny spoon back from Aiura, then hums his way through his sinfully sweet breakfast. Aiura fervently congratulates herself as she watches Saiki's blissful expression between bites of her own meal.

The true compliment to her cooking, though, is the look of faint disappointment on Saiki's face when he realizes that he's cleared his plate and there's no more to enjoy. Aiura giggles, and offers a chunk of pancake from her own plate. His eyes immediately brighten, and he accepts it with an elated sigh.

"That good, huh?"

[Yes. Seriously… ]

[Thank you, Mikoto.]

------------------------------

"…And after we ate our breakfast (which was soooo good, thx 4 my life insta!), he leans forward, smooches me right in the mouth, turns bright pink, and just teleports away to his room!! It was soooo sweet, Chiyopipi, I'm literally on cloud nine rn~!"

"Goooshhh that does sound so cute, Miko-chan!! Saiki-kun is really romantic, huh?"

"Yeah!! And he left behind the little spoon he made! Look, look! I want to put it on a chain like a necklace~!"

"WOW, this is incredible, Miko-chan!! It's really pretty! …Heyyy, if you're going to wear it every day, then maybe you should get Saiki-kun a little gift to wear too~! It would be sooo romantic to have matching jewelry, don't you think~?"

"Oooh, you're right as always, Chiyopipi! It would be so cool to get him something with pretty lines in the metal like this spoon~! But like, what could it even be?! I sure as hell can't forge a spoon with my powers lmaooooo!"

"Wellll, if it's a romantic gift… What about a ring~?"

"Idk Chiyopipi… Isn't it kinda too early for me to be getting him a ring? Like yeah we're soulmates and all and maaaybe I totes wanna marry him, but won't that like, scare him off y'know??"

"Miko-chan, I said you should gift him a ring, but it doesn't have to be a wedding ring!"

"Wait, so what kind of ring are you talking about then lol?"

"I mean a ring isn't a relationship-specific ring! You know, as long as it's meant for any finger other than the ring finger, then it's a more normal gift! Pluuusss, I know a ring place that works with germanium~!"

"Oh!! That's your angle! Chiyopipi, you're brilliant!! But wait… Kusuo can't wear a germanium ring on the reg cuz it would always be cancelling him, y'know? He can't even carry it with him unless it's a few layers of clothes away, I think? Like he can put it in his pants pocket, but not his shirt pocket, ya dig?"

"Hmm… What if it's on a chain? Then it's not as presumptuous of a gift either, right?"

"Ummm… I think Kusuo might find that too flashy to wear over his clothes all the time? It's not really his style…"

"What about under his clothes?"

"I think he'd be cool w/ it but not if it's germanium cuz he'd get cancelled. Would a normal ring really be okay??"

"Hmm…"

"Damn, this is hard!! If only there was like a normal ring on the outside with like a germanium ring on the inside, then that could probably work, y'know??"

"…Miko-chan, YES!! I've seen rings like those, with different metals on the inside and the outside!! I don't know if there are any with germanium, but we can ask!!"

"Oh Chiyopipi, let's go, let's go!! You are so smart, I could kiss you!!"

"Here, on my cheek!"

"MWAH!! Hehehe!"

"Hahaha! Come on, maybe they'll have time to make us something special today if we hurry!"

"Won't that be expensive tho??"

"Miko-chan, Miko-chan… The shop owner is a Kokomin! Aaand he's seen me here with Kokomi before! He'll give us a sweet, sweet discount, guaranteed~!"

"Chiyopipiii!! You're the bessstttt!!!"

"What are friends for~?"

------------------------------

"Oh hey, Kusuo! You beat me home again, huh? How'd it go with your mom??"

[It… went really well.]

"Babe? Are you okay? It kinda sorta seems like you're having, like, major emotions rn?"

[ … ]

[Heh. How do I always forget how perceptive you are…?]

"It's cuz you, Mr. Saiki Kusuo, are fundamentally, at heart, just a little bit silly!"

[ … ]

[ …Embarrassing, but not incorrect.]

"Hehe! So what's on your mind, babe? Y'know you can always tell me~"

[Good grief… it's seriously nothing, but… ]

[It was just that I've been away from home for a couple of months now. And walking around my old neighborhood as a college student now feels… odd.]

"Is it really that different now lol? Daaang…"

[No. Nothing has really changed in such a short time.]

[Except for me.]

[I used to think I'd be doomed to walk those streets for life, if I couldn't stop the meteor.]

[It doesn't help that I once got stuck in a terrible time loop there either.]

[Then I started missing my neighborhood before I even left, with our graduation on my mind.]

[What a pain…]

[As much as I complained about walking to school with Nendo, Kaido, and Kuboyasu, the prospect of walking alone again was seriously worse.]

[But now that we're all together again here, those streets didn't feel like a prison any more, or like a warning.]

[It just felt… nostalgic. In a good way.]

[ … ]

[It was nice.]

"Awwww, I'm happy to hear that, babe!"

[And… there was something else.]

[I ran into my old neighbors that I used to see every day.]

[Like the old lady who always greets me and the guy who gives me an awkward look because I caught him singing loudly once.]

[Good grief… Neither of them ever really liked me.]

[But still, when they saw me again today, they thought to themselves something like… ]

['Hey, it's that kid again. He looks a little older now. Happier, too.']

[And they were genuinely glad to see me.]

[ … ]

[They have no idea that I've saved their lives and their livelihoods countless times.]

[To them, I'm just some guy.]

[And yet… there was still a tiny place in their hearts for me…]

"Awww… And they're right, actually!"

[ ? ]

"You do carry yourself a little differently, ever since you told everyone about your powers. Like you're not carrying as much weight on your shoulders any more. Like you're looking forward to the future with hope. Like you actually feel that you belong??"

[ … ]

[Really…?]

"For realsies! Even your aura is kinda different now?? Before, it was just this big ass ball of light extending to the edges of your psychic range. And yeah it was impressive because it was so fuck-off huge lol. But really, it seemed like it was actually a wall you'd built between yourself and the world, trying to push everyone as far away as you could to the fullest extent of your powers??"

[That… makes an awful lot of sense.]

"Right?? But recently, your aura has gotten much more... compact? It's even brighter than before, with more energy in the same space, but it also seems more dynamic?? Like, it's still a ball that usually extends about 20ish ft each way, y'know? But now it has little swirls of colored emotion swimming through it sometimes. And when you're with your friends, your aura sometimes changes size to, like, accommodate them better, if that makes sense?? Like now that it's just you and me, your aura's smaller than usual, and it's a little off center from you too, as if to cover me better?? I've never seen anything like it, and it's so charming tbh~!"

[Hm.]

[Good grief. I'm not sure how I feel about having more visible emotions.]

"Hahaha, don't worry, babe~ They're basically only visible to me! And if it makes you feel better, I can really only see the feelings you're choosing to not hide, I think!"

[Well. That's better, I guess.]

"But I'm glad you're being more open with your emotions now tho, fr! It's good for you, y'know?"

[But isn't it a pain? To be bombarded with other people's emotions?]

"Kusuo, my darling, my soulmate. You hardly count as 'other people' to ME, lmao! Nor do you count as 'other people' to literally anyone in this building. And expressing emotions to us literally isn't being a burden or anything? We're happy to know how you feel – so we can join in on your joy or help out with any pain, ya feel?"

[ … ]

[I don't know. That sounds a little fake.]

"I toootally get how you feel. Legit, I used to think that too! And it's true that it can be kinda tough when someone literally won't ever talk about anything else besides how shitty their life is, I guess. But like 99% of the time, we do really want to know how our friends are feelin', and it's not work, y'know?"

[Hm.]

"Actually, you've been a lot better about expressing your emotions lately tho? Did you really just think you were burdening us this whole time?"

[ … ]

[Yeah.]

[It's okay to be a little burdensome with your friends, right? Nendo taught me that.]

"Awwww, he's right~! Nendo is really pretty clever when it comes to things like friendship, huh~? But for realsies, while it's true that you can lean on your friends, expressing your emotions isn't actually a burden lol. That sorta thought is just like an unforch side effect of never getting your feelings taken into account while growing up, tho… You start thinking that if you're always punished or ignored for expressing your feelings, then having feelings is an ugly thing, a weak thing, and that showing your heart will make people cringe, right?"

[ … ]

[That makes… a lot of sense.]

"Yeah. It takes a lot of effort to unlearn that sort of thing too! If it wasn't for my homegirls, I'd still be trying to force myself to fit the horrible little close-hearted mold that would turn me into a 'perfect girl'. And it turns out my homies were right! I do wanna know what my peeps feel, and I know that they wanna know about me too! Tho poor Teryu-koko never had girlfriends to set her straight until recently, so sometimes we still gotta nudge her a bit to get her to say what she really feels!"

[Teruhashi… ]

[I always felt that we were a little bit similar.]

[Not allowed to be human, because of our abilities.]

"Oof, yeah… My poor darlings! All the way from birth, huh? You two have really been so brave and strong to get through it and still be the wonderful, kind ppl you are today! I really admire you guys so much~!!"

[Hey… Don't give me that soppy look… You're making me blush… ]

"Ehehehe! You know I can't help it, I really love you~!"

[ …yeah. I love you too… ]

[And I know you haven't had it so easy either, good grief.]

[How do you stay so upbeat when you can see death marks on people's faces? Seriously?]

"Welllll, that's a good question lol. Ngl, it's not always easy! But luckily, death marks aren't that common, actually? And like, most death marks are pretty light, y'know? Just minor misfortune. Plus, even when it's darker, people do usually survive it! Actually, that might be your influence, boo~! The truck that ran me over really shoulda taken me out probably, so I'm mega glad that you made everyone's injuries heal suuuper fast~!"

[Good grief!]

[I'm glad too… ]

"Also, after meeting Toripori, it kinda helps to know that the afterlife isn't so bad, actually? Like, watching life go by and seeing the natural beauty of the world with some other undead homies sounds super chill?? And if it gets boring, they can just quit it n leave? Not a terrible deal tbh, makes death a lot less scary. Like, don't get me wrong, I obvs prefer being alive lol, ghosts can't have milkshakes or ice cream or cake! But, y'know, it's less scary seeing a super dark death mark now!"

[Still, what a pain… ]

"Yeah, it can be a bummer!! But at least I can do something about it sometimes! Not always, but I do try if I have the chance. It's harder to do for strangers, obvs, cuz they're not just gonna listen to some rando. But at least for people I know, I can warn them and try to keep them away from danger for a bit. Like how we did for Chiyopipi!"

[ … ]

[Have you ever… ]

"Have I ever failed?"

[Yeah… ]

"No, thankfully!!! I've had a close call tho… Well, two if you count Chiyopipi! My homegirl Kiki was gonna go out with a boy on a date after school and she had a hella death mark!! I was telling her 'GIRL you HAVE to reschedule your date!! That death mark is practically BLACK!' But she was SO gung-ho over this dude and it was her first real chance at him so she went anyways??"

[Good grief! She could have died!]

"RIGHT?? I'm demiromantic too, so like, I can't imagine risking my life to chase a guy I barely know, y'know?? But she was like YOLO, so obvs I followed her!! And geeeez, she really almost bit the dust!!"

[Seriously?!]

"Yeah!! Like, she barely arrived at the beach for her date when the bad luck started! First somebody's crazy-ass dog got off its leash and started sprinting at her like it was gonna maul her!! I did a two-finger whistle, the super loud kind, y'know? And thankfully that distracted the dog just long enough that the owner was able to catch up!! But my girl was totally oblivious cuz her boy had just arrived??"

[Incredible… ]

"Thennn, she went to the food truck area with the dude and one of the trucks caught fire?? And of course it was the one RIGHT next to a bunch of propane tanks!! Catch me dialing 119 like a maniac, and maybe my luck pulled through cuz there were some firefighters right nearby! And they were pretty damn sexy actually~!"

[Mikoto… Really?]

"Come onnn, there wasn't anything I could do except cheer on our professional hotties lmao, and they did put out the fire p quick! And then my girl's like 'oh I'll take a quick dip in this super calm part of the water.' Well, guess what? The water was super calm-looking because it was a damn rip current!! If I hadn't called the lifeguard like immediately, she woulda gotten her ass yote out to open sea!!"

[Geez!!]

"After she got rescued by the lifeguard, she went to lay down on the sand to recover. And can you believe?? There was a fucking Portuguese man o' war on the ground right there!! It shouldn't have even been in the area?? And those bitches still sting even weeks after they die too! So she woulda got the nastiest welts on her legs AT BEST if I hadn't run up to her like 'NO GIRL DON'T SIT!!'. Like, what are the odds??"

[Yikes!]

"And then finally she starts to wise up that no kiss can be good enough to raise her from the dead (except for yours maybe? jk… unless…? ok that's a no lmao) and realized she'd better gtfo lol. But THEN a fuckin GANG TURF WAR started up over a part of the beach and shit got real when people started pulling out guns!! Like, holy fuck! And of course, Kiki got caught in the crossfire with a bullet to the chest and goddd, it really felt like I was the one who died in that moment, holy shit… I just barely managed to call 119 AGAIN!! Even though there was blood everywhere, she pulled through it, and just has the gnarliest scar over her right boob lmaooooo."

[Good grief…!!]

"RIGHT?? I'm p sure I lost like 2 years of my own life that day, yooo… Kiki lost all interest in going to the beach after that, lmaooooo. Killed a little bit of the allure for me too. But our Puerto Rico date overwrote that, fr! It was soooo magical~!"

[I'm glad. Wow.]

"Hehehe~"

[What a pain… I had no idea you went through all of that.]

[And you even risked your own life to save your friend… Propane explosions are no joke.]

"Yeah, yeah. It was just the right thing to do, y'know?"

[Still, not everyone would have done it.]

[You really inspire me sometimes, Mikoto… ]

"D'awwwww, you sweetheart~! You inspire me too~! Come here, come here, let me cuddle you a little bit, pleeease~?"

[Hehe. Alright.]

[ …Mmm~ ]

"Ohhh, you're always so nice and toasty~! And you're squeezing me back just right, dw~!"

[Good… ]

[ …This is nice… ]

[ … ]

[Wait.]

[Did you just think about a gift? A gift for me?]

"Aww, damnit, you caught me huh? I figured maybe I'd save it for another day, y'know, since it seems like you're feelin kinda emotional and vulnerable rn? Didn't want to overwhelm you, babe!"

[What a pain.]

[That is very kind of you. But give me the gift right now.]

[Let me get all these emotions out at once so I can go back to being unflappable.]

"Hahaha, that's definitely not how it works, lmaooooo! But I can go get it if you want~"

[ …I'm seriously too comfortable right now. Where did you put it?]

"LOL, valid!! It's in a little velvet pouch in my whale shark purse~!"

[[ ( Clairvoyance ) ]]

[[ ( Telekinesis ) ]]

"Hehehe, you look so silly with your eyes crossed like that~ It makes me want to kiss your nose~"

[Well, what's stopping you?]

"Hahaha, Kusuooo!! You're too cute!!!! Mwah~"

[Mm…]

"Such a sweetheart~! Go ahead and open up your gift~!"

[What's the occasion? Good grief, did I miss an anniversary??]

"LMAO, not that I know of!"

[You're really working hard to not spoil the surprise in your thoughts, huh?]

[Well, let's see… ]

[Ah, a set of dessert spoons! Heh, thank you!]

"But wait, there's more~!"

[Oh, you're right!]

[ … ]

[A ring…?]

[ … ]

[Aren't you supposed to be on one knee for that sort of thing?]

"STOPPPPP, LMAOOOOO."

[Heh.]

[Hmm. I assumed this ring would be made of germanium, especially since it's on a chain, but I can still hear your thoughts… ]

"Bamboozled~ Hehe, try putting it on~!"

[You didn't get down on your knee and now you're making me put this ring on myself?]

[What a pain, I thought we were an item.]

"Kusuooooo!!! Literally don't tempt me!! You know I'd marry your ass in a second!!"

[Hehehe… ]

[Hmm… ]

[ ! ]

[I don't hear your thoughts any more! But when I take the ring off again, I hear them, even though I'm still touching it…]

[And that means I can carry it around without the risk of accidentally cancelling my power.]

[And this chain even helps to keep it close…!]

[This is a lovely gift, Mikoto!]

[[To be able to shut off telepathy for a little while any time I like…!]

[How did you find such a wonderful thing??]

"Actually, I got it made special for you today, boo!"

[What? In less than a day??]

[Is this a new power of yours?]

"Ehehehe, nothing like that! Actually I have Chiyopipi to thank! She's the one who found this totes bangin' ring place! Look, look,, the inner part of your ring is actually three really thin rings, see? The middle is germanium, the other two are just basic bitch stainless steel, y'know? And they've been press-fit into this slightly larger titanium ring! And the dude even carved in some fake fold lines like on the spoon you made~"

[Ahhh, I see it now.]

"And you can pop the ring right on this lightbulb shaped metal bit off your chain, see? No psychic powers needed lmao, just squeeze the ring holder to grab or stash it~"

[Incredible.]

[This gift is… literally peace of mind for me.]

[I'm not entirely sure how to thank you, Mikoto.]

"Wellll… Can I keep the little spoon you made? I guess I didn't actually ask you about it!"

[Of course you can. I really made it for you, after all.]

"Awwww, Kusuooo~! That's why I wanna wear it as a necklace!! It'll be so cute, dontcha think~?"

[Hmm…]

[Good grief… While I do like the idea, won't it cast suspicion about ESP if everyone sees you with a spoon?]

"Not to worry, babe, I have a built-in defense! Look~! When I put it on a chain like this…"

[Ah. The spoon is partially hidden by your cleavage.]

"Bingo~! LMAO! With only the handle sticking out, it just looks like a statement piece with the pretty folded lines~!"

[Very funny and very clever, just like you.]

"Awwww, ty ty!!"

[Still. I wish I could thank you properly somehow.]

"Well, if you insist, then I could sure use a few kisses on the cheek~!"

[Hmm… ]

[I think I can do better than that.]

"Ah–! Neck kisses, ooh~ Hehehehe~! Mmmmm! Love you so much, Kusuo~!"

[Love you too, Mikoto… ]

[Mmm… it's really nice when you touch my back like that… Relaxing… ]

"I'm glad~!"

[Mmmmm… ]

[Oh, I almost dropped the ring. I'll put it on with the necklace.]

[Seriously, thank you Mikoto. This was very thoughtful.]

[Oh. And please give my thanks to Yumehara-san as well.]

"Hahaha, in the same way~?"

[If she doesn't mind.]

"LOL, good point!! …Y'know, I wasn't sure at first how you'd feel about this whole polyamory thing? Despite obvs not being normal in a lot of ways, you're still kind of a traditional guy, y'know?"

[Yes.]

[I wasn't sure about it myself.]

[But I was selfish. I seriously didn't want to lose either of you…]

[So when the opportunity presented itself… ]

[I took it gladly.]

"I don't think that's selfish actually, but imma let you finish lol."

[Well, I thought it might cause some sort of competition if I dated both of you at the same time, and damage your friendship.]

[But it didn't.]

[When you see me with Touma-kun, or he sees me with you, there's no jealousy.]

[Just happiness. At seeing me happy.]

"Yeah!! That's the compersion, baby!!"

[I couldn't believe it at first. But I've seen it over and over now.]

[You two even work together to make my life better, good grief!]

"Well, duh~! We both obvs want to see you happy and healthy~!"

[I seriously can't believe that I used to worry about you finding another partner and forgetting about me… ]

"It is kind of a natural thing to worry about, so I don't blame you!"

[Hmm.]

[I guess I thought love came in limited quantities.]

[That you could only love so much.]

[But…]

[With every new friend, I've found myself full of more love than before.]

[Good grief… I didn't expect romantic love to be the same way, sometimes.]

"It's wild, isn't it~? Not everyone is wired that same way tho, so it's extra lucky that we found each other like this~"

[Yes.]

[So feel free to keep an eye out for any other cute guys at school.]

"Ha! Actually, I think I'm feeling a bit more into girls lately~ How bout you, babe?"

[Considering how long it took for me to trust everyone, I think I can safely say that all of my romantic prospects are in this building.]

"Hahaha, demiromantic life, huh~? For realsies, I kinda feel the same way. I always find homegirls wherever I go, but like there has to be something more special for me to make that romantic connection, y'know?"

[Yes.]

[Though… you did have other partners before. Not romantic ones, but… ]

"Haha, you can say sexual partners lol! Though y'know what? I really haven't had much interest in finding anyone to fool around with like that in a while actually… I think part of the allure was like the challenge of it, y'know? And wooing you was a more fun and rewarding challenge~! Plus, I think part of it was that physical intimacy? For realsies, when we cuddle it's just sooo nice~ Seriously suspecting I just had some touch starvation a bit?? So don't worry about that at all~!"

[Well. I'm glad you're alright, but… feel free to… you know… ]

"Hehehe! I appreciate that lmao. My Kusuo is a bit shy, huh~?"

[Hey… ]

"I'll let you know if anything changes but I'm all good rn~! How about you, babe~?'

[Well.]

[There's just one thing that's bothering me, what a pain… ]

"Yeah? What's up?"

[How did you know my ring size??]

[Is that another one of your powers?]

"Actually no, lmao. I just called up Aketoumi and asked him if he knew. It seemed like the kind of bonkers shit he would have on hand, pun intended LOL. And I was right~!"

[Good grief, I knew he was measuring my fingers… ]

"Lmao, what?"

[He hates touching my gloves, but sometimes he holds my hands and plays with my fingers.]

[I've always suspected he was sizing my fingers for a ring, but I didn't want to bring it up, and his thoughts are too fast for me to confirm.]

"Bwahaha, that's Aketoumi for you! Man's got game!! But in a kind of weirdly hardcore way lmaooooo."

[Heh. He's certainly one of a kind.]

"And so are you~! So happy that you gave me a chance!"

[Me too… ]

------------

If you enjoyed this, please let me know in my inbox, in the tags, or in the replies~! It's a lot of extra work to make the censored editions, after all!

#elsopv2 #nopsi fic

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pips-fics · 4 years ago

Text

ask: can I request a sick jisung who is practically dragged back to the dorms by the members and he's so out of it that he starts saying things that make skz reassure and cuddle him? I live for fluff and angst lmao (also make sure to take care of yourself and don't stress about writing these late or anything! your health comes first, have a good day :)

tw: glass/injury/blood imagery (it’s a metaphor for guilt and not literal but somewhat graphic), self-loathing, vomiting

@anon who requested this: i have a very urgent fear that this is not what you were expecting when you sent this ask. if this is too heavy, please let me know and i will be happy to write you something else

@everyone: we’ve got some pretty intense trigger warnings with this one so please don’t hesitate to skip reading this one, it’s all very interwoven in this fic an it’s not worth risking causing yourself harm for

some days jisung felt like glass. glass that ached. sharp and dangerous and fragile all at the same time. he thought some of his members could understand this; others probably could not.

he did what he could to keep his distance. he spent his whole day locked in the studio, taking painkillers that hardly blunted his headache every few hours. a stress headache, he thought. all the more reason to be productive, for once, but he felt boxed in.

a tiny shard of glass in an illusory metal box, unprotected and suffocating.

words poured out of him and onto the paper, but none of them were good enough to use. instead, they pelted him like hail, each failure a knick in in his brittle skin. one of them would be enough to make him shatter.

distracted by the task of attempting to hold himself together, jisung forgot about the passage of time until the soft fabric of his sweatshirt began to feel suddenly and violently abrasive on his skin. his stomach churned, and, as his gaze landed on a clock reading half past midnight, he realized he hadn’t eaten anything for over 12 hours.

he made himself a bowl of instant ramen, and forced himself to choke it down, but his stomach only seemed to worsen at that. he was so tired. he nearly fell down the stairs on his way to throw out his bowl, but jisung couldn’t afford to go home yet, not when he’d barely made any progress at all.

he hadn’t expected to run into felix on his way back.

“are you going home soon?” felix asked, frowning when jisung shook his head. he tried to explain.

“i’m just stuck so… i have to figure this out before i give up on this song entirely.”

felix’s frown deepened, and jisung felt his glass soul crack further. “you can finish it tomorrow, right? you have time before the deadline, and you always get your assignments done on time.”

felix was really so sweet, jisung thought, and so supportive. he probably couldn’t fathom how big of a failure jisung actually was in his own mind.

jisung shattered.

“easy for you to say,“ he said. he was shaking, or shivering, his body cold but his rage red-hot. “you don’t understand, felix, that one day i won’t. one day i won’t get it done because i’ll run out of make-believe genius and everyone will realize that it’s all been just a game of pretend the whole time and i’ll—”

he broke off, choked up and nauseous. felix looked almost as sick as jisung felt. in a hushed voice, nearly a whisper, jisung forced himself to finish, the fight drained out of him at once.

“and i’ll have to admit that everyone would have been better off without me from the start.”

his eyes flickered to felix’s face, regret too small a word to describe his feelings about felix’s tears, even as it was all tempered by resignation. this was always going to happen. but that didn’t mean jisung was going to stick around and make it harder than it needed to be.

anyway, he still had work to do.

jisung doubted that felix would come looking for him. he believed he had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be found. he locked the door to his workroom anyway, and tried to get back to work. instead, felix’s expression of hurt flashed in his mind, again and again, sticking to him like blood.

it was disgusting, jisung thought, that felix had been the only civilian casualty of his explosion. it shouldn’t have mattered who it was, but at least if it had been someone like minho, or hyunjin, or seungmin, at least then he could’ve held on to the hope that they’d understand. at least they had the same kind of faux protection as jisung. felix was nothing but soft flesh.

all of a sudden it was too much to bear. sweat dripping down his face, jisung leaned over the small trash can next to the desk and vomited, and felt that he deserved it. he gasped and felt that he didn’t deserve the air entering his lungs, coughed and choked and sputtered until he threw up again and he sobbed. a pile of broken glass on the ground.

jisung didn’t realize that seungmin had entered the room until he felt a hand pressed to his forehead. he jerked away, struggled to speak as his body wouldn’t stop wringing gasping sobs from his mouth.

“how?” was all he managed, though it wasn’t what he’d wanted to say. why? didn’t you hear from felix what i did?

something like mischief briefly overshadowed seungmin’s expression of concern. “picked the lock,” he explained smugly. then he softened. “i can show you how sometime, if you want.”

jisung flinched. seungmin still thought of jisung as a friend - which meant that he hadn’t heard from felix. had he run into jisung by coincidence?

“i’m sorry,” jisung blurted out, realizing that this would seem nonsensical to seungmin only when he saw the look of surprise on his face. but then it melded into understanding, and jisung felt lightheaded, and wondered if all of this was just a bad dream, because nothing was making sense.

“can we go back to the dorm and talk?” seungmin asked. jisung avoided his eyes and shook his head.

“felix told me what happened,” seungmin said, and jisung pinched himself, because seungmin was speaking far too gently for this to be real. he didn’t wake up.

“then you should know - you should leave,” jisung said, trying to convey his urgency, but lacking the energy to do so. he resorted to pleading. “you’ll get cut - don’t you understand? i thought you would understand. i’m sorry.”

“sungie, you know we’re just worried about you? felix is alright.”

“but then—”

“i kept him out too late tonight teaching me dance moves so i sent him home first. he’s probably waiting up for you though.” seungmin started gathering jisung’s things, then, putting them in his backpack. jisung didn’t stop him. if he was just shattered glass on the ground, cutting everyone who took a step in his direction, the least he could do was let seungmin and felix get some sleep.

“you know,” seungmin said as they approached the dorm, “i don’t think you hurt felix in the way you think you did.”

jisung stayed quiet.

“do you know that the first thing he told me was that you had a fever and you were being mean to yourself?”

this made jisung’s steps falter, trying to process two new pieces of information at once. he supposed that explained why seungmin had been so understanding - and why it had taken so little for him to beak earlier.

seungmin grabbed jisung’s arm to steady him and didn’t let go. “of course i pried the rest of the details out of him,” he said, as if reading jisung’s mind. “i think he’s right. jisung, your worth is not measured by your productivity.”

this was, perhaps, the most groundbreaking piece of news yet. they had reached the door to their dorm, but seungmin’s grip on jisung’s arm tightened.

“you’re our friend,” seungmin said, as if it were a fact and jisung was a human and not a piece of glass after all. and seungmin’s mouth wobbled a little bit and jisung cried a little bit more and they both knew they’d never speak of this again.

jisung nodded, and it didn’t feel entirely like a lie. when they went inside and felix told him he loved him, jisung didn’t choke saying it back. a nagging shard of guilt remained when felix insisted on getting up with him when jisung was sick twice that night, but all of his sharp edges had dulled. soothed, for the moment, by the reassurance of felix’s calm breathing as he fell back asleep. that was the thing about breathing: it couldn’t help but be honest. a sense calm, content, and safety washed over jisung like waves until he, too, drifted off to gentle dreams.

——

feel free to send more asks! | rules

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