#has a lot to do with the latency + the reluctance of me realising
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just to continue my diatribe in the tags
#so then i get worried that the ace label is wrong#but how can i ever know for sure if i never want to be with someone like that or even just be in a relationship in general#i think i knew i was bi a while before i knew it y’know i think that had a lot to do with my dad#because he constantly used slurs as insults when i was growing up i can’t count the number of things he said + i think that definitely#has a lot to do with the latency + the reluctance of me realising#the real messed up bit is that occasionally i get scared that i’m actually not bi + that i’m gay#so i definitely have a lot of internalised issues there which. i don’t even know where to start#i hope that doesn’t sound offensive it’s all internalised stuff#i feel like i’ve realised i’m bi but haven’t completely accepted it if that makes sense#i guess this whole thing is hard because there’s no concrete definitive answer. it’s not tangible it’s all feelings#+ i don’t handle that well#i have SO many issues on top of all this to the point where i couldn’t imagine ever being with a person ever + i’m 25 + it feels like i’m#running out of time to figure this stuff out i mean i’ve never even held hands with someone#i went on one date which feels like a fever dream because i would never have done something like that in a hundred years but i did it#it was a guy from a dating app + the second i got to the cinema my flight response kicked in + i spent the entire movie thinking about#leaving he was real nice but that whole scene is not for me#i’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life#i don’t know how to do social situations i don’t know how to do physical contact#i don’t know how to want these things#this is a mess none of this makes sense lmao sorry#personal
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