#(not discussed im just manifesting hang outs)

[sucktacular]

Also before I disappear again, I hope y'all have a good temperatured day ahead. Esp locals cuz my LORT it's a scorcher this week. I love you I hope you have some peace chilly to bask 🫂💕

[kysuguru]

you REPLIED IM SO HAPPY😭😭🤞 btw the fact that suguru AND satoru are both her love interests im so HAPPY stsg for the WIN!!! i love how suguru and shoko automatically know what satoru is implying cause hes so so OBVIOUS!

i cant imagine the troubles suguru and satoru would have with reader.. shes so enduring and she allows them to do whatever because shes too sweet! ofc shes serious when the time comes down to it but i just know she takes the two lightly and cares too highly of their opinions to really say no to them. i 100% know suguru is worst when it comes to teasing her. in this universe i want to believe suguru does not deflect so he stays there w them. although reader probably does not realize the two actually is in love with her, she probably assumes they are with each other so she does not want to intrude.

what if shoko and reader were discussing about first dates and she finds out reader never had her first anything and sets her up with one? maybe rin or shin?! LOL and behold satoru and suguru being menaces and completely mean to her . the trouble they would cause to the way they would be so upset. reader actually enjoyed her first date but shes confused why stsg are so upset over her. they always teased her for not having a bf and when she does try theyre even more ruthless?? bc in reality to stsg they always thought she belonged to them and they’re actually in shock that shoko would do that knowing about their crushes on reader? (cue shoko laughing in the background)

i love these asks smmm😭 tysm for sending. and ur right!! i have chapter one and two written and posted on my ao3, but suguru doesn’t defect, i cant allow that. and yes… stsg are sooo annoying when it comes to jealousy. like they are so suffocating..

this is new, very new.

it was a brief conversation, so mundane you wouldn’t bother to remember it unless brought up. shoko asked a simple question. “you ever been on a date before?” after talking about her horrible experiences with lousy men. it was an easy answer, “no.”

and you thought it’d end there. of course it’s normal for girls your age to go on dates with other people, experience the life of romance at a young age, but it wasn’t odd to meet a girl your age who hadn’t been on a date. so you weren’t sure why shoko put you up to this.

rin sits across you with a beaming smile, the fluorescents of the cafe highlighting his freckles. you fiddle with the warm cup of coffee in front of you. you weren’t much of a coffee person, but you panicked and ordered the first thing on the menu. it was bitter, terribly so, you weren’t sure whether you’d prefer this or satoru’s cups of diabetes.

you sip on it occasionally, to make yourself look engaged. you hope your poker face has improved, you’d be humiliated if the bitterness on your tongue manifested itself onto your expression (rin noticed, but felt too awkward to speak up).

it’s weird, and you try pretending this wasn’t set up at a romantic date.

you like rin, he’s really nice, but you’d never even imagined him romantically.

he’s beaming at you, you think he’s blushing, and he looks as if he’s in a daze with his cheek resting on his palm. the look of adoration is so shell shocking you’re gazing around the cafe at other customers he might be looking at.

you chalk it up to excitement of being in such a nice place.

conversation with him is easy though, you realize.

it’s unlike satoru or suguru. suguru’s a listener, unlike satoru who’s a talker. they fit in so well with one another it makes it hard to fit in. you don’t mind that, watching from afar is enough for you. but you still yearn.

maybe that’s why shoko did this in the first place. to get your mind off of them. you suppose it wouldn’t be bad to broaden your spectrum, you needed more friends anyway. you couldn’t always hang onto shoko, suguru, and satoru forever.

hours pass, and before either of you know it, the sun sets.

rin was full of stories, he had so much to tell about kyoto, his classmates, and his missions. he was so fond of it all that you couldn’t bear to stop him. it was nice listening to someone on the same level as you. not that you disliked listening to satoru boast about his missions and how awesomely strong he was, but it was a nice change of pace to hear such things come from someone of your caliber.

you could get used to this.

your entering the school with a content face. you feel them both before you see them.

satoru drapes himself onto you, talking obnoxiously loud in your ear as suguru sends you a soft smile. your company with rin was wonderful, but you didn’t realize how much you missed your favorite people until you see their visages.

“where were you at for so long?” suguru asks calmly, though there’s a hint of something else you can’t really decipher. maybe suspicion.

“shoko set me up on a date with rin.” you say sheepishly, scratching your cheek.

they both freeze, you can feel the way satoru’s breath stutters as his hold gets loose. you look up at them both, brows raised.

…

it’s so silent. was it something you said? were they perhaps upset you didn’t say anything? did they want to tag along? you would’ve said yes immediately.

“rin from kyoto?” satoru whispers, and you think he sounds angry. you can’t fathom why, so you try and brush if off. even though there’s a seed of dread starting to grow in the pit of your stomach.

“yes... shoko said something about chemistry. whatever that means!” you chuckle nervously.

satoru let’s you go, backing away. now you’re worried.

“i-is something wrong?” you look up at suguru for assistance but he’s turned his head.

you shuffle your feet, anxious. they’re obviously upset, but you don’t know why. “did i do something?” that’s the only thing you could think of. or did they not like rin? he was a nice guy, so you wouldn’t understand why.

satoru rubs your head, startling you.

“it’s nothing, sweets,” he says.

but he’s walking off before you can speak any further, he makes a point not to let you see his face as he departs. suguru gives you a strained smile before he’s following. “night,” he mutters.

and even though satoru reassured you, that seed of dread continued to grow.

satoru and suguru are busy. satoru hasn’t asked for your notes in awhile. you wanna assume that he’s got it down until you hear him loudly bugging suguru for his notebook. your heart drops at the fact that satoru just hasn’t asked you. you don’t know why that hurts, it shouldn’t. maybe suguru just conveys the answer better, there’s nothing wrong with that.

they go out for lunch, leaving you and shoko in the empty cafeteria with your cold noodles. shoko’s great company, of course, but the lack of satoru’s loud voice and suguru’s scolding makes it feel eerily quiet.

nights in the common room have shrunk to just you and shoko. it’s been like this for a few days. only a few days. yet you feel as if these days are dragging on slower than usual. shoko notices, and rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath how pathetic boys could be.

you think she’s spoken to them, for they look at you a little more now. but they barely talk to you unless the situation calls for it, even then, they’re awkward.

but it isn’t until shoko has been in high demand after a dangerous mission that the first years came back from that you’re alone with them. you’re nervous, feeling their eyes trained on you. you don’t dare make contact.

they begin talking to each other, and you feel joy consume you at the familiarity of it. you’re looking up now, making eye contact with the both of them. satoru opens his mouth, but you intervene.

“i’m sorry!”

their eyes are wide.

“i’m sorry for whatever i did. it’s just.. you guys feel distant. if it’s because of me then—”

“i should say sorry,” your eyes flit up to suguru’s as he scratches his neck sheepishly. “i was being childish.” he speaks into his palm. “we were being childish.” he corrects himself, eyes glaring into satoru’s, who huffs and crosses his arms.

“so it was something i did?” your brows knit as a frown etched itself onto your lips.

“it’s more complicated than that,” suguru says. but you’re not convinced.

satoru mutters something under his breath, you catch nothing but rin’s name. so you ask him to repeat himself.

“i just don’t like rin, is all.”

you blink.

“d-did he do something?” you needed to know, if he hurt or insulted suguru or satoru in any way you were ready to break it off—

“no. not exactly, we just… don’t like you being alone with him,” suguru admits, flushed.

oh!

you felt relief fill your chest.

“i think i know now.” you smile, happily. they stare. they both lean slightly forward, anticipating. “if i ever go out with him again i’ll invite you both out!” you clap your hands together.

they were upset that they weren’t invited along. that makes sense. you’re relieved. satoru did eye that cafe whenever you three passed it.

they share a look, one of amusement and one of exasperation.

“such a ditz,” satoru grumbles.

“we’d like that,” suguru smiles.

you’re happy, so happy you could cry tears of relief.

“i’m glad, i thought you were both gonna hate me forever.”

suguru grabs your hand, caressing your palm, your heartbeat spikes. “that’d never happen.”

satoru scoots closer to you and drapes himself over your shoulders, the familiar action has your cheeks hurting from how big you’re smiling. he squishes his cheek against yours, rubbing softly as he speaks, “never go out alone with rin again, okay? you need at least me or suguru there, not even shoko’s enough!”

they will never forget how she betrayed them so.

“of course,” you exhale, joyful.

and yes, abt stsg ur also right! this is kinda a poly thing. stsg love each other and the reader

[redactedgender]

redacted audio headcanons: elliott & sunshine edition

im in my elliott & sunshine era rn it seems. i cant stop thinking abt them. so heres some of my hc for them! the sunshine hc’s are specifically for my oc (charlie, he/they), but im keeping it neutral so others can apply it to their oc’s/sunshine hc’s maybe :0

!! CW FOR MENT. OF SUNSHINE’S ACCIDENT. ALSO SOME 18+, MINORS DNI !!

; t4t elliott & sunshine. i don’t make the rules, i just enforce them

; following that thought, sunshine, geordi & guy were all elliott’s caretakers after he got top surgery

; elliott & aaron’s last name is hawkins, but elliott is technically elliott lewis-hawkins. his last name is hyphenated because ‘lewis’ was the name of his first foster family (they were the best one he had had at that point, but when the mom got pregnant they realized they couldn’t support two kids), so he uses their name to remember them by

; sunshine has a prosthetic leg from their accident. they walk with a forearm crutch or sometimes use a wheelchair during extra bad pain days. they also have lots of small scars from the glass across their body, mostly arms

; elliott has called sunshine “sunshine” since they first met basically. but, when guy heard sunshine call elliott “dreamboat” one random day, he made the joke that their ship name would be “daydream”. since then, whenever guy talks about the two of them, he refers to them as “daydream” (ex: “yeah i’m just in a call with geordi and daydream, what’s up?”)

; they have matching yellow lego charms that make a heart when you put them together (like this but yellow)

; (18+) they both have horrible oral fixations (canon but still). they both could live between each others thighs. the 69 position is one of their favorites because of that

; sunshine and cutie used to go to school together, but after cutie’s powers manifested they kinda stopped hanging out. sunshine never really liked cutie tbh. they aren’t aware that cutie is empowered

; sunshine and treasure are cousins, and treasure was the first person sunshine told about their (completely obvious) crush on eli when they realized they liked him

; eli’s favorite color is lavender, and also loves lavender scented things (he has the lavender & iris spray from bath & body works and practically douses his bed in it. it smells divine btw)

; elliott had a wattpad account. what he read on that site is between him and god

; elliott is a lord of the rings nerd. you mean to tell me the guy who made a whole-ass fantasy d&d session dreamscape with his partner featuring a full-ass dragon isn’t a tolkien nerd??

; elliott also loves d&d. he hasn’t played a lot, but has enjoyed it when he did; he once dm’ed a one shot for his friend group and it was a crazy ass story. he likes worldbuilding and character backstories the most

; sunshine collects cds from thrift stores. even from artists they don’t know anything about

; besides their house, elliott and sunshine have also discussed getting animals together. they decided on a dog named thor and a cat named mercury

; honey is elliott and aaron’s cousin. they don’t know elliott is empowered. honey and aaron are the two cousins who would disappear when they both got overwhelmed at a party

; elliott loves watching competition shows like “blown away”, he eats that shit up

; (18+) sunshine is a big reader, and absolutely eats up all different kinds of genres. sometimes elliott likes to “punish” them for not paying attention to him by using him mouth on them while they read erotica & edge them until they finish a specific number of chapters

; elliott hates tuna. like, haaaaates tuna. can't stand the smell, taste, texture, anything about it. the only thing he can handle about it is when its alive and intact; he can't even handle it in sushi

; in pjo, sunshine would be a child of apollo, and elliott would be a child of hypnos

; sunshine didn’t tell the group about the accident until they had a panic attack over a car crash in a movie. they had told elliott bits and pieces before that (and obviously he had seen their nightmares), but they felt as though they didn’t want to burden elliott and the rest of the group with their trauma

; OK SO. elliott and sunshine’s favorite movie collectively is “tangled”. i mean its their absolute fave. they watched it together on their first official date, it’s their comfort movie, they have matching jewelry of the sun symbol, theyve cosplayed/gone as flynn and rapunzel a bunch of times for halloween, etc. like these guys LOVE tangled. and apparently there’s a new disney ride of the lantern festival in disneyland tokyo. so, in a world where the balance didnt separate them, and theyre together and happy and healing, i like to imagine they decide to visit a disney and go on the ride if they have it there. and id like to imagine that when theyre in the lantern section, they both reach into their pockets and pull out boxes. and, with tears streaming down their faces and the biggest fucking grins imaginable, they propose to each other (and ofc they both say yes) <3

; the couple that are stoners together stay together <3 elliott likes to shotgun sunshine

; elliott is always the big spoon. he likes knowing hes protecting sunshine in both their dreams and in real life

━━━━

im so normal and regular about these two i promise (<- lying). i will add more as i see fit. also i might have a fic idea based on one of these headcanons, hehe :3c

[cosmics-beings]

i do think that the abuse or violence in Megatron and Starscream's relationship must either be talked about in TF Earthspark or just just taken out completley - i am BEGGING for the latter.

The writers (and even fandom) have not done good handling it at all, and I just don't think it needs to be something shoved in Earthspark. I think that Prime was probably the best example and chance for them to actually discuss it in a way that gave Starscream a voice, but also didn't excuse/pacify him but it just failed, completely. And fans in general just don't care, especially because most in prime thought he deserved every bad thing that happened to him, and the writers seemed to be intentionally be going out of his way to torture him. Like his actual abuse was made as a humorous thing and everyone, including fans and writers laughed.

Earthspark presents a much more sympathetic Megatron, and I just dont see how the abuse narrative could be handled or treated. I don't think, with how loved Megatron is now, that Starscream's narrative of abuse (if it existed) would be given the respect it needed because there is no way the fandom is going to turn on this Megatron, just like they didn't the majority of times Starscream was his victim (and i am talking mainly about in prime)

it would to me at least, just not make sense to weasle that narrtive in here (it is also out of character for earth spark megatron because he would've mentioned it by now. it is also obvious starscream may be someone important to him). and my biggest opinion is that their relationship would have such a bigger impact in Earthspark if it was good, if they respected each other, and if different sides, and ideas just tore them apart. It would be far more impactful to me if, even if they are angry toward one another, their relationship pre-Megatron switching sides was really good and healthy. Because it would make the development and Starscream's eventually fall into heroism (don't @ me i'm just manifesting) even more genuine and it would make their realtionship more unique. If there was conflict presented, not because they hated one another, but because they genuinely had respect for one another, then that is more unique and original.

Prime handled the abuse like garbage ngl, and IDW was hanging by a thread. And it was even worse in prime because starscream himself was very obviously queer coded and he was brutalized not just by megatron but everyone and i mean EVERYONE, and it was written out to be a very nasty joke, and something he deserved (and starscream is always queercoded, not just in prime, but tfp was the show that changed his WHOLE appearence in a way that pushed that idea for so many). Which people ate that shit up :/ So my hope and my predication is that, they are going to have a better relationship. Because the turbulent relationship just isn't going to work for this megatron and more importantly it is not fair for Starscream either.

this goes without being said, since i've seen at least two people imply that im woobifying starscream when i make these posts BUT, i am not trying to woobify or pacify his actions. like i know he isn't an innocent person and i know he's a villain - okay? okay?

[sleevesareforlosers]

discussion group!!

this is my first discussion group!!! it seems so so so much fun so I hope you don't mind me joining in!

okay so the thing I'm really looking forwards in the new years is graduating from my bachelors degree!! it's terrifying but also exciting with all the newness and hopefully going into the visual development industry! I'm hopefully am going to move to paris if I get a job! one thing I'm bringing forwards is establishing and maintaining kindness towards myself and giving more time to my social life!!! I feel like I've worked hard to establish that this year!

it's super cold, but it's not too bad! I like the cold but I don't really love the shortness of the days, the sun sets at 3.20pm atm! so I'm looking forwards to much more sunlight!

if I could be anywhere in the world rn I would be home with my housemates I think!! I enjoy living with them so much and am looking forwards to seeing them at the end of Christmas!

I'm a chronic rewatcher of things, but I actually love finding new books! tv shows and movies I mostly rewatch rather than discovering new media!

I hope you have a wonderful winter season!! :)!!

yesssss welcome to the group!!! i NEVER mind people joining in!

wah thats SO exciting!!! congrats on your (soon to be) degree! i was in ur exact place this time last year so i totally get the nerves but it IS exciting and im manifesting only good things for you re: cracking into the industry. paris would be so cool!! i got my fingers crossed so hard

and thats such a sweet thing to bring forward with you. gotta have that good balance and its like. so nice that you're doing that with the awareness of being kind to yourself which makes it easier to be kinder to others which just goes around and around. positive feedback loop.

OH YO? thats such an early sunset oh my god. i would die. our sunset today is 4:15 which is QUITE EARLY ENOUGH for me! 3:20.... jesus. at least the days are only gonna get longer from here!

🥺 thats so sweet. im so glad you've got housemates you get along with it makes everything so much better when you like the people you live with. hoping you all have a lot of fun stories to share when you're together again! I only have one roommate rn but the last few years when i was at uni and going back and forth it was ALWAYS so fun the first time i saw whatever group of friends after a while away and we'd all just DUMP updates and enjoy hanging out again

fair enough!! i think new books are easiest for me as well? like i do still default to rereads but i think i read more new books independently than i do like. watching new shows or movies. what have you been reading recently?

im having a LOVELY winter season so far i hope you do too!!!!

[ceasarslegion]

So every prestigious school has that one guy that makes you wonder why the rejection rate is so high if this motherfucker got in. I won't use his real name for obvious reasons, so lets call him Ray.

We were both poli sci students specializing in the same thing in the same year group, so we saw a lot of each other over the course of our respective degrees. But my very first impression of Ray involved running into him outside of a lecture hall before class. He was wearing an Operation: Desert Storm shirt like one might wear a graphic shirt of their favourite band in junior high. He shook my hand (???) and asked me where I was from. I said "all over, but i consider home the... *glances down* middle east, because I grew up there." I think he thought I was an army brat and proceeded to tell me about his favourite gulf war guns. And that he was from Oklahoma City and happily signed up for the draft when he turned 18. Already off to an incredible start

It would not take long for Ray to reveal himself as a republican. I don't mean canadian conservative, i mean full-blown american republican (yes, there is a very big difference). Now, that wouldnt have been the biggest deal if he knew how to separate his studies from his personal ideology (meeting people from every ideology under the sun is expected in poli sci, after all), but he did not know how to do that. And since students tended to hang around the same group as their own specialties in classes, nary a day went by that I didn't see Ray. At least we were civil to each other and knew to avoid any personal discussion of our individual politics, but I wouldn't have considered him my friend.

You would think that every class debate and discussion with him would've been hell. Funny enough, it wasn't. He was actually so stupid that the shit he would say would hit you like a freight train. Let me list the actual 100% real shit he said to me over the course of our time together:

-"immigration needs to be cracked down on if this country is to survive." "Wait, back up. You do realize that YOU went to a different country for a better education." "That's different"

-"I consider myself a right wing marxist." "What the fuck does that mean" "i think marx was right about the need for a workers revolution, but i disagree with him on the political direction it should take. The state should seize control of the nations assets, but the leader should be a working class person" "...okay sure, whatever." (We called him comrade stalin after this)

-"the more accurate prediction of election results is the youtube dislike bar in debate videos."

-"pol pot had some fair points." "I want you to say that sentence again and think about the words you are using."

-"i dont disagree with what BLM stand for but i dont think looting is the answer." "I know the person youre referring to, and they were found to be an opposition actor trying to make them look bad." "That just proves my point more." "...care to elaborate on that?" "Letting the enemy break your ranks is tantamount to treason" *our class friend in the row behind us kicks him in the back of the head* "not everything is the fucking military, Ray."

-"i dont think im gonna vote for trump in the 2020 election. I think hes too stupid." "No? You throwing in for bernie or biden then?" "No, I'd never vote democrat. Im gonna vote for ben carson." "I dont even know if hes running this time, bud." "But ill be throwing my vote away if i vote libertarian." "Y-yeah... yeah, sure. Yeah thats the one throwing your vote away. Okay."

-"I agree that its historical fact that the indigenous population were systematically wiped out by white settlers in north america. However, thats not a genocide." "Thats the dictionary definition of a genocide." "No, the federal courts that were active at the time wouldnt have classified it as such. Its not a genocide if it was manifest destiny." "I know im white but what in the white bullshit are you fucking talking about"

Somehow this guy got his degree, but on the way he made left and right wingers and centrists alike look at him in incredulous wonder. I know the colloquial political spectrum isnt an accepted model for ideology in the very field we got our degrees in, but i think his political soectrum was less a line and more an origami crane

Does anyone wanna hear about the weirdest guy i went to uni with

[yslkook]

UNFUCKWITABLE (9)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook convinces you to take a staycation with him for a few days (a week).

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, oc and jk discuss their unprotected sex practices, vomiting, some jealous jk, mild exhibitionism, fingers in oc's mouth grinding, making out, oral (m), titjob

word count: 7k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. also...cant believe mom manifested into butter jk im in pain

****************************************

Jungkook is unsurprised to enter your home with the key you’d given him the other week and find it completely empty. You’ve been working early mornings and incredibly late nights for the last week and a half, and he can tell it’s beginning to take a toll on you. The first sign that you were beginning to wear down was when you had skipped dinner in favor of sleeping. The second was when you had snapped at him in irritation and then immediately cried over hurting his feelings.

He can think of about a dozen other things, including the even more pronounced bags under your eyes. You’ve always had dark circles under your eyes naturally from hyperpigmentation but these days, not even concealer can help you mask them.

In fact, the reason that you’d even given him a key was because you felt like work was taking over your entire life. You’d hardly had a chance to see anyone who wasn’t a work colleague, and you just missed Jungkook. At least this way, you could wake up and go to bed with him.

You had only been calling Jungkook your partner just shy of four months, and he had a key to your home. Perhaps it was fast for other people, but with him, it felt right. So he keeps a copy of your keys on his lanyard- it’s possibly his most prized possession right now. Jungkook usually only comes when you ask him to, he’s been staying at your place for the last week because of how tired and busy you were.

Usually you stop by the tattoo parlor at least once or twice a week, but you have been sparse because of work. So he’s here, in your home without you. It felt strange the first few times he’d been here without you, but then he started leaving little pockets of himself- his shoes next to yours, his hair product on your shelf, and his two of his jackets hanging near yours in the closet. He’d even purchased a new plant to keep on your windowsill in your living room (which you take turns dutifully watering and making sure she gets enough sunlight).

It’s all very domestic. He had jokingly told you not to expose him to your shared friends, specifically Mina and Mei. To which you had rolled your eyes.

Though some small, very small, part of him wonders if the magic will fade away soon. Considering how fast you both are moving both physically into your home and in your relationship.

It’s only been a few months, and you both were incredibly comfortable with the idea of unprotected sex- after all, Jungkook always pulls out in time. Until, of course, you’d had a pregnancy scare. Hoseok and Yoongi, ever the pair of realists, had scolded him when Jungkook had revealed that you both hardly ever used any protection-

“Are you trying to knock her up? Is that it? You both ready to potentially be parents?” Yoongi says mildly as he polishes off his wine, looking at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook’s cheeks burn.

“No, I’m not trying to knock her up and no, nobody’s trying to be parents-”

“You both are lucky you haven’t knocked her up already,” Hoseok says, with more heat in his voice, “You both are fucking stupid, but you especially.” He even smacks the back of his head with the book in his hands and Jungkook glares at him.

“Hey, my pull out game has always been strong, and I’m serious about her. We wouldn’t fuck raw if-”

“Oh, yes, then we definitely have nothing to worry about,” Yoongi says, “Keep it moving, Hobi.

“Talk to her about it, or else,” Hoseok threatens, “I don’t wanna hear about another pregnancy scare because you’re both idiots.”

“I know, I know,” Jungkook relents, “We’ve been talking about it. It just sucks that birth control can fuck up a woman’s body like that, you know? Mood changes and appetite changes, nausea and everything…”

“You could always get a vasectomy,” Yoongi says bluntly.

“Mei said the same thing. She was way more mean about it, though. Told me she’d cut my balls off if I didn’t get my shit together.”

“I don’t blame her, considering what a mess you both were last month.”

“We were not a mess!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so stressed ever in your life, not even when your first bike got run over by a car. Or when your tattoo got infected three consecutive times. And I’ve never seen her cry so much before.”

“Alright, maybe we’re a little bit of a mess.”

In the end, you and Jungkook had both decided that yes, condoms were probably a good idea. Considering the pregnancy scare you had last month, you both were on edge and a little paranoid. Jungkook hadn’t even mentioned the idea of you taking birth control or getting an IUD, knowing that your last few experiences with the former were unpleasant-

“I can get a vasectomy, you know. In fact, Yoongi suggested it,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly but your jaw drops.

“Jungkook. I don’t think vasectomies are reversible like that. Think about what you’re saying,” You murmur, “I’m touched you’d consider a surgical procedure so I don’t have to take birth control, but what if-”

“I looked it up, they can be reversed-”

“But Jungkook! You don’t know that, what if you want to have kids later and you can’t because you decided on a fucking whim to get a vasectomy? It’s still trauma on your body! You can’t just snip snap, snip snap your vas deferens tube whenever you please. At least with birth control you can start and stop it, even if that’s not a completely benign process.”

Jungkook looks at you long and hard, his tongue poking his cheek and you sigh. “But I don’t-”

“Honey. I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” You murmur, squeezing his hands in yours, “But we’re both being stupid. We’re both acting like condoms don’t exist. Why don’t we start with condoms and then think about getting your tubes tied or me getting an IUD?”

“You spoiled me,” Jungkook complains dramatically and drops his head to your chest, “With your pussy. I’m spoiled now.”

“Shut up.”

And so now, a box of condoms sits in the drawer of your nightstand and you’ve taken to bringing a few with you in your purse as well (and so does he). You’d been far more nervous buying condoms than you’d ever been of buying anything else, and Jungkook had only cockily grinned at you.

Today’s Friday and it’s the day of your deadline. Meaning that you’d hopefully be home soon and be his for the rest of the weekend. He fully plans on getting you to relax and stay in for the majority of the weekend, so that you can catch up on sleep.

But then you come home past dinner (you had sent him a text earlier telling him that you were going to be late. He knows your mood is sour- you had been in a foul mood all week, and the fact that you’re so close to being home but so far just makes it worse). You come home with an empty belly, a weary mind and wetness along your lash line. Climbing into bed next to him, you circle your arms around his waist and cry tiredly into his chest.

“J-Jungkook,” You hiccup, “I’m so tired, they kept me s-so late today but it’s done. Everything is finished-”

“Oh, baby,” He sighs, rubbing your back soothingly, “It’s okay. We can just sleep now. You should take a few days off next week, baby.”

“I don’t know…” But your eyes are wide and considering it.

“You’ve been running on empty all week,” Jungkook points out, “For longer than that. Your job can handle two or three days without you while you recharge. Text your boss, baby. You need to rest, too.”

He nudges your cheek with his nose and you hum in agreement. “Okay. Five day weekend? Sure you won’t get tired of me?” You murmur and laugh when he squeezes your waist.

“We can make it a staycation.”

And you’re already texting your boss, telling her that you needed a few days off next week. She gives you a thumbs up and encourages you to rest up, making it a point to recognize how hard you’ve been working. She even suggests you take the full week off, which you jump at and Jungkook only grins at you.

“My brilliant girl, charming her way into a full week off.”

You swat his hand away and hide your burning but satisfied face in his chest. “Yeah, your bad habits are rubbing off on me.”

“Oh, that’s not the only thing rubbing off on you,” Jungkook says wickedly and pushes his hips into yours, earning a fierce pinch to his bare waist.

“Hush, I’m trying to nap,” You mumble, your voice muffled. Without warning, you lick his neck and bite lightly at the base of his neck, ignoring his soft yelp. He doesn’t have a chance to question you on what that was, as you’re already falling asleep.

You’ve always thought from the beginning, even when you and Jungkook were just friends, that he was an ass man. You’ve caught him staring at your ass many, many times- in jeans, in a dress, in a skirt. And now that you both are officially together, he spends any and every moment he can with a hand on your ass. Casually, when you both walk side by side. And purposefully when you’re both just in his bed or on your couch. His hand is a well known presence on your ass, not that you’re complaining.

One of Jungkook’s favorite places to nap is on your ass, with his cheek pressed into you and one hand firmly gripping your ass. He also likes laying with his head on your lap. But his favorite place to nap is with his head buried in your chest, specifically buried in between your tits. He is currently analyzing his hypothesis that your right tit is smaller than your left, a thought he’s had for a while now, but needs further samples of evidence to properly assess.

But he’s always had an affinity for your tits, whether you’re blissfully unaware of it or not. You don’t notice it not really- you like any and all of his touches on any inch of your skin, as you’ve told him many times before. Especially when he holds you close next to him or under him and you feel protected, surrounded by only him.

He holds you, looks at you as if you’re as soothing as the sea and as bright as a supernova. And yet, the universe is contained in his big, doe eyes.

But really, at the end of the day, it’s an affinity for you. Jungkook loves every part of your mind, body, and soul, and he thinks he has for a long time. His heart has been tangled with yours since the first time he had seen you years ago at Hobi’s surprise birthday party that you had planned. Jungkook is sure that when he had seen you with a homemade red velvet cheesecake with a ‘Happy Birthday Hobi <3’ written perfectly in red icing in your arms, a silly party hat on your head, and a shy, beaming smile on your lips, he had been magnetized to your center of gravity from then on.

But even then, he had only hovered. Barely introducing himself, if it weren’t for Mina and Mei. He thought he had known girls like you- girls who baked cakes, planned elaborate birthday parties for their friends and wore flowery dresses liked other predictable people. It’s another one of his hypotheses (which has been clearly debunked)- but by now, he knows not to be so judgmental of others.

But he doesn’t dwell on that for long. Even the first time he met you, right after he had introduced himself to you and you had stared at him with starstruck eyes and stammered a quiet ‘hello’ in return, Sora had cornered him. And told him to back off from right then, that you were off limits. That you’d never be interested in a guy like him, so to not even spend a second in his stupid little mind even entertaining the ridiculous idea.

So he backed off subconsciously, thinking it wasn’t worth it to even know you as a friend. He’d convinced himself that it was too much trouble, and Jungkook has always been an easygoing kind of guy in most instances. After all, your best friend would know you best, right? And really, what did he care? As the saying goes, there were about a million other fish in the sea.

However. Even then, with each word uttered between you both, with each laugh that he pulled from your soft mouth, he couldn’t help the reluctant fondness for you that began to bloom. You had surprised him every few months after that, just saying hello at events that you were both present at and asking how he was. With that stupidly beautiful smile and those bright, shy eyes.

You were a smart, kind woman, always remembering details about others. And he was no exception.

That was years ago. He’s known you since your third year at university, hanging by a thread just outside your orbit. But this is now.

This is now, and your lips are against his neck, your chest pressed to his. You climb into his lap haphazardly, nearly knocking your mug off of the coffee table. You both have only just woken up and stumbled out of bed for coffee and breakfast. You had combed the tangles out of his bedhead with his head in your lap, but now sleepiness has washed away and you’re tugging at his oversized shirt.

You promptly bite him, right where his neck tattoo starts and ends. Jungkook meets your eyes with an incredulous, breathy laugh. “What’s gotten into you?” He murmurs, palming your chest from under your shirt.

“Nothing. You just have a very biteable neck, I told you,” You say, resuming your inspection of the vein next to his tattoo, “What a juicy jugular vein-”

Jungkook holds your wrist and flips you so that your back is on the couch. “My sexy vampire girlfriend. Love when she starts talking about my jugular vein.”

“Watch out, I might drink from it. You never know,” You giggle with a wink, squirming in his grip.

“You can do whatever you want,” Jungkook murmurs but then an idea that has been planted in his head for weeks now spills from his lips without him meaning to, “I wanna fuck your tits, baby.”

Your eyes go comically wide, mimicking Jungkook’s own. His cheeks are a little pink from his abrupt confession as silence falls between you both.

“That’s really interesting,” You muse.

“Is it?” He asks, feeling a little lightheaded. You tug a little at his purple locks to pull him down to you.

“Yeah. Always thought you liked booty. And legs,” You shrug, “But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

Jungkook’s throat is too dry for him to reply coherently. But he finds his voice after you give him a reassuring smile, “Uh, when it’s you, I like everything.”

“Me too. When it’s you, I like everything,” You mumble, heat rising in your cheeks, “And uh… you can. Do that I mean.”

“Do what?” He asks teasingly, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t play dumb,” You whine, shoving his shoulder.

“C’mon say it,” Jungkook jeers, not unkindly, “Put your big girl panties on.”

“I hate you,” You sigh dramatically, “Fine. You can fuck my tits, if you so desire.” His face splits into a grin as he thumbs your chin and ducks his head into your neck. He playfully nips at your skin, murmuring that he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine, but you feel his half hard cock pressing against your thigh.

The image of his cock wet and slick between your tits is now imprinted in your mind, and when both of you want something, you’ll surely get it.

Despite your eagerness of making Jungkook’s wish a reality, neither of you have had the chance for your usual shenanigans just yet. You still have quite a few days of your staycation left, so you won’t rush it. You had spent most of the first two days sleeping, cuddling, spooning, eating and lots and lots of slow sex.

You think you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve left your bed. Jungkook has been nothing short of wonderful, bringing you food (just this once, you hate eating while in bed), giving you shoulder rubs and booty rubs without you asking. Your favorite ice cream is in your freezer. Life is good.

His shirt hangs off of your shoulder and you’re too lazy to fix it. In fact you’re too lazy for pajama bottoms, only settling on your favorite pair of comfortable panties (nothing flashy. Just a standard black cotton panty) to wear under your shirt. One might even call them granny panties or whatever, but lace was uncomfortable on your skin. Lace and thongs are for very, very special occasions (hardly if ever) and you are in the comfort of your own home. You’ll be comfortable if it’s the last thing you do.

In fact, you’re too lazy to even raise your head to pucker your lips for a kiss from Jungkook. You only open your arms and hum, as if he’s supposed to telepathically know what you want from him. But he does, and he flops onto you once he tugs his shirt off. Jungkook’s face remains buried in your chest as you gently rub his scalp.

He hums happily, nearly purring at your touch and shoves himself closer into your hold. You can’t believe this man, the man who mildly intimidated you for years, is now in your arms and purring like a baby kitten. He’s admitted a few times that his scalp has been irritated and inflamed ever since he dyed his hair purple. One of his favorite things is to lay in your lap while you massage a mix of coconut oil and peppermint oil into his scalp.

He looks up at you, warm heat blazing in his eyes. You’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about but he palms your pussy from under your shirt- your still swollen, puffy pussy from the four times he’s made you cum already.

“Can I help you, Jungkook,” You ask flatly, but your poker face breaks when he dots you with kisses up and down your thighs.

“Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook groans, voice slowing to a whine, “I’m still hard, baby, fuck. Help me.”

“How are you still hard,” You wonder with a grin, “Damn, Jeon. You must really like me, huh?”

“If that wasn’t obvious then I’m clearly not doing something right here,” He breathes into your skin.

“Gimme a kiss then,” You murmur, pushing his long hair behind his ear. His eyebrow piercing glints in the light of your bedroom and you trace it gently with your fingertips. Jungkook desperately pushes his lips to yours, parting your lips easily and slipping his tongue into your mouth. He kisses your teeth hungrily, strands of his hair brushing against your cheeks.

His hips roll into yours impatiently, hands already pawing at your shirt. The air in your bedroom is suddenly so stifling, thick and nearly choking you both with the intensity of your desire. You just want him to feel good with you.

“Jungkook,” You say softly with warm cheeks, “You can use me, however you want. Tell me what you want, bunny.”

He lets out a quiet gasp, his eyes bright and wide.

You’re both on the same page, because he’s scrambling to chuck his boxers to the side and you’re tossing your shirt on top of his boxers.

***********************

“Fuuuck,” Jungkook groans. He’s breathless, heart racing erratically. All he can do is hold your shoulders as he watches with a piercing, hazy gaze as his cock is swallowed in between your tits. You squeeze them tightly together, trying to create as much friction as you can for him.

“Fuck,” He whines, “Fuck, you look so good, baby. O-oh, shit, my pretty baby, you’re pretty-”

Jungkook nearly cums when you mischievously stick your tongue out to brush against the head of his leaking cock. The visual is almost too much for him and his breaths are choked, strangled as he forces himself to look into your dark eyes.

“So big, bunny, look,” You say softly, “You like this? You’re so hot like this…”

He’s nearly in tears, eyes shining and wet at how good this feels. If your pussy was a slice of heaven, then your tits were the next best thing. You moan softly, feeling your own wetness and heat pooling. Jungkook’s cheeks and chest are flushed, eyes wild and wet as he slides his cock in between the valley of your tits languidly. Almost as if he doesn’t want the moment to end.

You’re so warm, warm everywhere.

His muscles are tense, the furrow in his brow beginning to appear when he’s about to cum. “Shit, baby, oh my god, I love your tits,” Jungkook moans, tossing his head back, “Fuck, I love everything about you-”

You don’t know how he’s able to form coherent sentences to you when he’s this close to cumming. But he’s always been a man of many talents.

“You know what I just realized,” You gasp suddenly, “Neither of us made it official that we’re dating. Like I never asked you ‘out’ and you never asked me ‘out’-”

“Fuck, you talk too much,” Jungkook nearly snarls, “My cock is literally in between your tits and I’m about to fucking cum all over you and you think I belong to anyone else?”

You swallow thickly, Jungkook narrowing his eyes at you. He looks intimidating and intense above you, his powerful, golden thighs straddling either side of you.

“N-no, I was just-”

Jungkook shoots you a glare, reaches behind him and gathers your wetness with two fingers. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he pushes two fingers into your mouth to shut you up. You send him a glare right back, but it melts away quickly when you swirl your tongue and suck on his digits.

He cums without warning, hastily and with a broken sort of sound ripping from his throat. It’s warm and sticky as it lands on your chest and your cheek. But he cums so much and much to your chagrin some of his cum gets in your eye and you nearly shriek at the burn.

“Jungkook! What the hell, your cum is in my fucking eyeball-”

He’s still panting above you, like some sort of golden boy, and it takes him a few seconds to register your irritation. “Oh shit,” Jungkook says and jumps into action. He tugs you into the bathroom to gently wash your eye for you (after washing his own hands), with you grumbling the entire time.

“I’m sorry, baby,” He says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. You roll your eyes and demand to be taken back to bed and lavished in kisses as penance for his cum shooting into your eye.

Jungkook tastes himself a little when his tongue slips into your mouth, but it hardly registers as he rolls on top of you, caging you in between his arms.

Jungkook fleetingly thinks he should’ve spent more time trying to convince you to stay home with him. Maybe with a few soft, long kisses to your neck, he might have. You looked delectable, good enough to eat- your dress fitted around your hips, nails, hair, and makeup done, the scent of your perfume subtle but not irritating to his sensitive nose.

You had asked him to pick what jewelry to wear, so one of his long necklaces sitting around your neck and disappearing into the valley of your chest. It doesn’t really match with your dress, but you don’t care.

And Jungkook… well, it was difficult for you to keep your hands off of him as well. His hair is tied back into a neat ponytail, he’s wearing a sequined black (fitted) button up with the top four buttons undone, a thick, silver chain and ripped, black jeans. Your eyes are glued to his chest and he knows it- you can’t help but grip his arm, his bicep whenever you can.

Neither of you really enjoyed the club scene, but you had wanted to go out since it had been a really long time and after all, you were on your staycation. Mei had planted the idea in your head, and so now here Jungkook was.

Here he was, catching flashes off the satin, coral colored wrap dress that you were encased in. For someone who doesn’t like the scene, you blend in effortlessly. But you’re a grown woman, so he takes his eyes off of you and orders a round of shots for him, Jimin, Taehyung and Jin while nursing a bottle of soju.

In the midst of the thumping bass bouncing off of the walls in the club, you’re only aware of you and Mei while you both sing along to whatever song is blasting through the club. Mina disappeared a while ago, presumably to find Jimin.

You’re holding two drinks, one in each hand, and all you feel is the vibrations of the club. Along with your own drunkenness. Mei holds your arm to keep you steady as you move your hips in time with hers. You laugh loudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders at something she said. Everything is amplified and muted at the same time, the swirl of alcohol settling comfortably in your veins.

You’re having a great time with your friends, dancing, swirling, singing and drinking. It’s a nice night to unwind, in the company of dear friends and strangers.

“Hey,” Mei murmurs in your ear, “I gotta pee and I’m gonna go find Seulgi-”

“You can just say that you wanna go find her,” You giggle, “Don’t blame your bladder on it, Mei.”

“Oh, you’re funny. I’ll text Jungkook and tell him to come find you, alright?” Mei says, patting your head. You nod and tell her to go find her girl, and she does. Leaving you to your own devices for a bit, at least until Jungkook makes his way to you.

However, what neither of you realize is that the cell reception in this building is terrible. Mei’s text never goes through and you stay in your bubble, with your two drinks in your hands and bounce along to the music.

You’re not sure how much time goes by, but it feels like you’ve been alone for quite a while. You squint your eyes at your phone to check the time and send a text to Jungkook. A text that never goes through. You frown and are about to turn on your heel to link up with your man (wherever he might be), but you hear a surprised call of your name.

It’s hard to keep the incredulity out of your face when you come face to face with Yunho, the man who had stood you up all those months ago. The air has almost been punched out of your lungs, and you have to squint at him to believe what you’re seeing.

He calls your name again, giving you a wave and a bright smile. “Funny seeing you here, huh?”

“Uh…”

“Can I buy you a drink? I feel like I owe it to you after…” His eyes are sincere. At least you think so, with your drunk goggles on.

“I don’t know, Yunho, it’s okay…” You mumble unsurely, “Isn’t this weird?”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird,” Yunho says and pulls a chuckle out of you.

“Oh, alright. I guess a drink won’t hurt,” You shrug and lead the way to the bar. The least he can do for you after standing you up and hurting your feelings is buy you a drink, you think.

“Hey listen, I owe you an apology,” Yunho says, sliding your drink towards you.

“Oh, it’s- it was a long time ago,” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. Sure, it was a hit to your ego, but in hindsight it doesn’t matter. Not when you have Jungkook. Honestly, you’ve forgotten that Yunho had even been a blip in your radar once upon a time. It was only because of Sora, anyway.

“I had something urgent come up last minute that day and I asked Sora to tell you,” Yunho continues, “I’m sorry I didn’t follow up or even reach out to you after. But I’d heard that you were with Jeon now, so didn’t want to… overstep, I guess.”

And even through your drunken haze, you understand. You sigh deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Oh boy,” You groan, “Sora never told me about that but we’re not close anymore, Yunho. It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry she got you, too.”

Yunho’s lips part in surprise, “She didn’t… Alright. What’s done is done, I guess.”

“Yeah,” You murmur airily, “And yes, I am with Jeon. Though I can’t seem to find him…”

“I’m happy to keep you company until you do.”

Despite how well you and Yunho seem to hit it off (most of your time spent bitching about Sora), you can’t help but think of Jungkook. You quite miss him, not having seen him all night in the club. You want to dance with him, and little do you know that he’s been scouring the entire club for you in a frenzy once he ran into Mei and Mina and hadn’t seen you with them.

He had sent them a glare, his jaw clenched and walked away to find you. So when his eyes finally land on you at the bar, after about twenty-five minutes of searching and trying to get through strings of people around you, his heart soars. But he sees you laughing with someone else at the bar. With Yunho.

Jealousy is petty, he tells himself. But he struggles to keep it at bay as it rears its head and comforts him. He’s always been protective and possessive of those he loves and cherishes. You’re definitely no exception.

You wobble a little on your feet, but you hold your own. Even from here, he can see the drunkenness of your smile, beads of sweat as they race down your neck to hide in the valley of your breasts. He zeroes in on your necklace (his) around your neck and reminds himself. It’s his necklace that you’re wearing, after all.

Then why is the man who stood you up all those months ago making you laugh like that?

You must have a sixth sense or something for him, because you turn your head a bit as if you can sense him. Your entire face lights up when you see him, in a way that makes his tough heart swell in adoration.

You make your way over to him with your drink and peck his lips chastely, despite his desire to pull you into his arms and kiss you long enough that your knees buckle. So that Yunho sees that he is yours.

“You disappeared on me, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, adjusting your necklace. He’s gripping it tightly, but you don’t notice.

“I was with Yunho, remember him? ‘Member, he stood me up but he didn’t because it was Sora’s fault-”

“That’s no surprise,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. You take his hand, squeezing and introduce him to Yunho. As if he doesn’t know him already. Jungkook’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenched. He doesn’t like how Yunho looks at you, how his gaze lingers on your skin and the curves of your dress. You lean against Jungkook heavily, absently playing with his fingers. You stay mostly quiet, sipping your drink as the two men speak (rather tersely).

Jungkook knows he’s being ridiculous.

“Kook, finish my drink?” You murmur, offering him the glass. Jungkook maintains eye contact with Yunho as he downs the remainder of your drink in a few solid gulps.

“Was nice to see you, Yunho,” You say, “I think Jimin and Mina are looking for us, Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

With that Jungkook firmly holds your waist, keeping you close to him. You both know that neither Jimin nor Mina are looking for either of you. You’d only wanted to be alone with Jungkook.

So Jungkook leads you to a spot where he knows Yunho can visibly see you both. You let loose, giggling as Jungkook twirls you easily and moving your arms to match the beat of the music. He makes you laugh with his moves, winking at you and shooting finger guns at you as he twirls and swivels around you. He’s always been a great dancer, you realize. That’s funny, because you’re sometimes clumsy on your own two feet. He pulls you into him, his chest to your back and his hips pressed against your ass. You sigh contentedly, head lolling against his shoulder and you rest your hand over his hand to let him lead you.

His nose is buried in your neck, lips lightly brushing your pulse. He bites your earlobe gently, earning a soft laugh from you. Jungkook tilts your jaw to the side to meet your eyes and plants a deep kiss to your glossy lips. He holds you steady when your knees weaken, your belly flipping at the intensity that he pours into you.

Jungkook is all around you, encasing you within his arms and there’s not a single place you’d rather be. When you pull away for air, you thumb away your gloss on his bottom lip and bite his bottom lip gently.

“I adore you,” You say dreamily, “You are so… Everything. Everything. I adore you.”

Jungkook’s cheeks burn, but he ducks his head for another sharp kiss. And if Yunho is watching him shove his tongue down your throat and holding your hips to his possessively then that’s fine by him.

The journey back home is a quick one (after you both stop for fried noodles, despite the inevitable heartburn it’ll give you both the next day but you’re both so hungry). You both stumble into your home in a mess of giggles and groping, nearly falling to the floor due to your clumsiness.

Jungkook has been hard since he kissed you in the club, in front of Yunho. He knew Yunho had been watching, feeling the man’s eyes on you both the entire time. His jealousy has crawled back into the box that it was unleashed from, but he knows that’s something to revisit later.

Something else to revisit is that he liked that someone else was watching him with you. He stores that information for later, instead focusing on keeping you upright from falling.

Somehow, through your blurry vision and wobbly legs, you get on your knees and palm Jungkook’s cock through his pants. A shameless moan rips through you- any and every inch of him makes you dizzy with desire.

You like him so much that it nearly makes you cry.

“Gonna blow you now,” You announce happily, fumbling with the button of his jeans and using all of your concentration and strength to pull his pants down along with his boxers. You sloppily kiss your way down his chest, spending extra time on his tattoo and licking (then biting) his happy trail before humming around his leaking cock.

He’s so wet already, and it’s all because of you.

Jungkook groans, eyes closing in pleasure as your pretty mouth wraps around his cock. He thrusts lightly into your mouth, peeling his eyes open to watch you. Only to find you already staring up at him, your makeup smudged and tears already forming in your pretty eyes. He cradles your cheek affectionately, stroking your cheekbone-

But before he can compliment you, softly praise you, he hears a noise. It originates from the back of your throat, something both familiar and unfamiliar. You gag uncontrollably around his cock, and while it’s certainly not the first time it’s happened, it’s different this time. Because you’re a little drunk. So he should be unsurprised when you retch on his cock, pull yourself off of him before your drunk self can get any more vomit on his cock and sprint into your bathroom.

You manage to lock the door in your frenzy of utter humiliation and alcohol addled mind. You hover over the toilet bowl, the sounds of you throwing up bouncing off of the walls. You’re crying, sobbing more like it- from both the pain in your chest from vomiting violently into the toilet bowl coupled with the humiliation of quite literally throwing up on your boyfriend’s cock.

You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, as if that’ll erase the memory.

“Baby,” Jungkook calls softly, his cock fully hanging out in the open, “Baby, please open the door. It’s not a big deal, but I need to wash my dick off.”

You let out a choked, watery laugh at that and move to flush the toilet and rinse your mouth out. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment when you unlock your bathroom door, and you can’t bear to look Jungkook in the eye. But he holds your wrist to his when you try to escape into the safety of your bedroom.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest, heat flooding your ears in shame. It feels like your head is empty, static filling up the spaces that the silence between you both doesn’t.

“It’s just me,” Jungkook coos, “Do you want to shower with me?”

“Jungkook, ‘m absolutely mortified,” You say flatly, voice a little high in pitch as fresh tears burning behind your eyelids, “I want to evaporate from this plane of existence in about three-point-four seconds, I literally threw up on your penis, I’m so sorry. Don’t even look at me-”

Jungkook winces at your tone and the way your shoulders are hunched, hands gripping the hem of your dress unsurely.

“Baby,” Jungkook sighs, “It’s really okay, there’s nothing to apologize for. Come shower. The vomit is drying on my dick-”

But that’s the wrong thing to say because you start to cry immediately, shoving your face in your hands. Jungkook sighs, mentally kicking himself and running a hand through his purple locks. He calls your name softly and pulls you into his arms for a tight hug, despite the drying vomit on his dick, which is hanging out and brushes against your hip. You sniffle, peeking at him with shy eyes and he rubs your back soothingly.

“When I say it’s okay, I mean it,” Jungkook murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how drunk you were. I know you feel embarrassed, but it’s just me, baby.”

He kisses you, despite your protests, and helps you rinse your mouth again. You allow Jungkook to somehow maneuver you into the shower, peeling you out of your clothes. You feel grimy and sticky from the club and you’re grateful for the cool water against your skin. You stand behind Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face in between his shoulder blades, letting him wash himself.

“Can I wash you?” You whisper, voice unsure. You feel awful, cheeks burning but still. He nods and you take your body wash and lather him with it, washing his now limp dick gently and swallowing nervously.

“See? Not a big deal,” Jungkook says, coaxes you out of your nervousness, “Lemme wash you, baby.”

And so he does, taking your loofah and gently rubbing your skin. Under the cool spray of water, your nerves slip away with each giggle and kiss that he pulls and plants from your lips. Your eyes are still a little shy, a little slick with alcohol. But it’s just Jungkook, and you’re safe with him.

Jungkook nearly wrestles you to get you to eat something more, after throwing up the remainder of your guts after you both had showered (it was mainly just water and alcohol at this point). You’re nearly falling asleep on his shoulder but he manages to shake you awake for a slice of leftover noodles and two glasses of water. But eventually, he coaxes you into eating with a few kisses, hugs, and shoulder rubs.

Once you both are in bed, Jungkook wraps himself around you, his hands immediately drifting below your sleep shirt to your belly. Your cheeks burn as the events of the night replay in your mind’s eye and you press your face into your pillow with a groan.

“I can’t believe I threw up on your dick a-and you’re so nice a-about it,” You mumble, “You really are everything.”

“Well, what else am I going to do if the girl I like vomits on my dick,” Jungkook murmurs, “Don’t worry about it, baby. It happens.”

“To who? Only to me,” You say sadly, “I drank too much. I’m sorry, Kook-”

“Shhh,” Jungkook says, tightening his arms around you and kissing your forehead, “I promise it’s okay. I promise I’m not looking at you any differently.”

His words make you relax in his hold and you nod. Jungkook tilts your jaw towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You don’t say anything else after that, only allowing your soft, breathy sighs to spill out of your lips and into him with every comforting kiss and every slip of his tongue in your mouth.

He tells you to rest in between kisses, but your eyes are already closed.

**************************************

MOM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ultraanonymousey @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c @yeotan07

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[ctommy]

HELLO i am here to give you all arc 1 of my warrior cats dsmp au :-) idc if its cringe im having a good time

ALLEGIANCES:

Dream’s Clan

Leader:      Dream- Long-haired solid white tom with green eyes and a scar across his nose

Deputy:       Sapspark (Sapnap)- Red and brown tabby tom with amber eyes.      Apprentice, Bumblepaw (Tubbo)- small bicolor tabby and white tom with amber eyes.

Medicine Cat:       Spiralwish (KarlJacobs)- no description yet!

Warriors:       Goodshadow (BadBoyHalo)- Big rusted black tom with long fur and yellow eyes.     Antfrost- Siamese tom with blue eyes.     Whitestrike (Punz)- Seal point tabby with icy blue eyes.     George- Small british shorthair tabby tom with two different colored eyes (blue and brown). 

    Other members who don’t have names or descriptions yet: Callahan, Sam, Ponk

Rogues/Kittypets:

    Soot, later Sootsong (WilburSoot)- Long-haired grey tabby tom with amber eyes.     Tommy, later Tommypaw- Young orange tabby tom with bright blue eyes.     Fundy, later Foxberry- Smaller-than-average red fox.     Eret, later Quailpelt- Long-haired brown tabby with light amber eyes.     Niki, later Kestrelpool- Small dilute tortoiseshell molly with white paws and green eyes.     Jack- Short-haired white and gray tabby tom with hazel eyes. 

Arc 1 Plot Summary

Takes place in the same universe as the Clans in the books :)

PRE-STORY 

Dream was a mediator for the modern Clans (think like Tree from recent arcs). Eventually he got fed up with trying to make peace between the Clans so he gathered some cats and left for new territory. They don’t have an official name, so they’re just kinda referred to as Dream’s Clan or Dream’s group. Dream is recognized by StarClan but he declines being given 9 lives or the -star suffix because he wants to be equal with everyone in terms of lives. (DreamXD could be the lives that Dream declined manifested into its own being?!?!? OR the revival book is his leftover lives. I know that’s not how StarClan works but it’d be cool) Sapspark is his deputy, George was a kittypet who became good friends with them so followed when they left, he doesn’t usually act as a full warrior though. He naps a lot :) Goodshadow is Sapspark’s dad, and Bumblepaw is Sapspark’s apprentice and the only apprentice in the Clan.

ARC 1 (Early SootClan)

Soot is a streetcat living in Twolegplace- he knows all the local rogues and kittypets, and a young kittypet named Tommy especially looks up to him. A group of cats moves into the forest nearby, and Soot watches them from afar for a while, trying to gauge what they’re doing there. He speaks to them eventually and decides he wants a Clan as well. He recruits Tommy, then his adopted kit Fundy (who is a full on fox), and they march into the Clan’s new territory and start building a camp. He names himself Sootsong, and Tommy becomes Tommypaw. Fundy becomes Foxberry. Dream’s deputy, Sapspark, and Sapspark’s apprentice, Bumblepaw, find them and try to drive them out of the forest, but Sootsong has a way with words and holds his ground. Sapspark decides that the group isn’t a threat and doesn’t report them to Dream, at least for a while. When he does though, Dream is annoyed that Sapspark didn’t tell him sooner, but agrees that they aren’t a threat and just keeps an eye on them. Bumblepaw hangs around Sootsong’s group sometimes and answers their questions about Clan life, and once Sootsong finds out about the -star leader suffix he changes his name to Sootstar, much to the amusement of Bumblepaw.

Another local cat, Eret, joins, and gets the name Quailpelt. Bumblepaw decides to join them as well, since there’s no apprentices in Dream’s Clan and he wants friends :). Dream finds out about them taking it more seriously and immediately takes a patrol and demands that Sootstar and his “Clan” leave the territory. Sootstar stands firm again, waving Dream off and saying that there’s plenty of room in the forest for both groups. Dream disagrees and tells him they have half a moon to vacate the territory, or his Clan will remove them by force. Once Dream and his cats leave, Sootstar’s group begin training and building up defense in their camp. During the half-moon interim, Dream secretly recruits Quailpelt to sabotage Sootstar’s defense plan. He promises them a position of power in his own Clan in exchange for their assistance. Quailpelt does so, making a hidden passage into the camp.

On the day of the deadline, Bumblepaw and Tommypaw are out on an early hunting patrol when they are ambushed by Dream, Sapspark, Whitestrike, and George. Clearly outnumbered, they hold Bumblepaw hostage and tell Tommypaw to go get his leader. Tommypaw runs back to camp and fetches Sootstar and Foxberry, leaving Quailpelt to defend camp. A short battle ensues, and though Dream’s patrol is winning, they back off unexpectedly and retreat. Sootstar and his companions chase them a distance, believing the battle won. They head back to camp, where Quailpelt is still defending the entrance. Quailpelt congratulates the group and announces that they have been saving a surprise for them. Curious, the group heads into the empty camp. Dream’s patrol bursts from the hidden passage into camp and brings their full force on the group, easily winning the fight with an extra set of paws. Dream and Sootstar have a nasty fight, and at several points Tommypaw attempts to intervene but gets a nick in his ear. Dream holds Sootstar down with a paw on his neck and demands once again for the group to leave. Tommypaw, terrified that Dream is going to kill Sootstar, begs for Dream to listen to him. 

Dream obliges, and Tommypaw says that the forest is huge and it’s possible for both groups to expand outward rather than fight over the same territory. Sootstar, unbeknownst to Tommypaw, intentionally set camp within Dream’s borders because he holds a grudge against the Clans and wanted to dismantle the new Clan through conflict. Sootstar doesn’t reveal this, but he does hiss at Tommypaw to be quiet. Tommypaw continues anyway, offering to scout out nearby territory for the groups so they can live in peace. Sootstar interjects, saying that he will not give up the camp they built. Dream is annoyed that they won’t just move to new territory, but Tommy, scrambling to appease both leaders, points out that the camp is in an unused part of Dream’s territory anyway and Dream’s group hadn’t even been around long enough to get familiar with it before Sootstar’s group moved in. Dream has a discussion with his Clanmates. Sapspark personally doesn’t want any actual harm to come to Bumblepaw, his old apprentice, and pushes Dream towards allowing the group to keep their camp and have both groups expand outwards. 

They end up going with this solution. Dream says that he’s still going to keep a very close eye on Sootstar’s group, and tells them to watch their paws. The group leaves, and Quailpelt, unsure of where to go, hesitates for a moment before Sootstar hisses at them to leave and never come back. The rest of Sootstar’s group is hostile toward them as well, so they leave with Dream’s group. 

In the aftermath, Sootstar reprimands Tommypaw for speaking out of turn, and assigns him the sole duty of cleaning/repairing the camp from the battle. 

There’s a lull in conflict for a while while both Clans scout out and settle into their new territory :). Tommypaw officially becomes Sootstar’s apprentice, Dream’s Clan becomes DreamClan (maybe something else) and Sootstar’s Clan becomes SootClan. Bumblepaw continues to teach SootClan about how actual Clan life works and introduces them to StarClan. Sootstar doesn’t believe in StarClan so he doesn’t get 9 lives, and doesn’t appoint a deputy. Sootstar also recruits a few more local kittypets, a molly named Niki who earns the name Kestrelpool, and a tom named Jack. SootClan slowly becomes more and more like a real Clan, with Kestrelpool becoming their medicine cat. 

Arc 2 coming sooooon perhaps maybe. its gonna be kinda tricky lol

Character description inspiration here!

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[remcycl333]

some thoughts i had about creating a new story

(disclaimer: this isn’t a post of me offering advice or saying that this is necessarily a technique that i recommend, i just wanted to share an idea i had as i like to document my journey on this blog)

while affirming for my sp, i affirm that we’re in a relationship, rather than affirming for contact. i’ve learned that this works much better for me, and that i see much more movement this way. that being said, while affirming things such as “my sp is my boyfriend” and “im in a loving relationship with my sp”, i find that the how, as always, is left up to interpretation. as it should be! but sometimes, im ngl, i think about how much easier things might be if i just told my sp i had feelings for him and that i wanted to be in a relationship with him.

i’m not gonna tell my sp how i feel about him before he tells me, because i know i can manifest him confessing his feelings to me first, which is what i’ve been trying to manifest. im not gonna settle for less, even if i can. but sometimes when my sp and i are talking and he’s flirting with me and hinting that we should hang out and then he changes the subject back to something safer and doesn’t end up confessing his feelings, etc.

which, obviously, i dont let this bother me and i keep persisting. but sometimes im just like god he’s obviously in love with me and wants to be with me he’s clearly just kinda nervous to tell me how he feels about me. which i know is a limiting belief i have about him, and i shouldn’t be repeating it, but this is just for the sake of this discussion.

so all this got me to thinking--why don’t i create a new story, and i have these inner conversations with myself where i’m like “omg im so glad i finally told ___ how i feel about him and that it went well and we’re now dating. it was so worth it” etc etc. like? i feel like this would make the affirmations that we’re in a relationship more believable. but i can’t tell if this would make it so that i have to confess my feelings for my sp in order for me to receive my manifestation? i definitely don’t think so, and i know as long as i dont assume that, i shouldn’t have to. ig im just kinda curious if any of yall have any thoughts on this?

i hope this made sense lmfao 

[crimefightingspiderguy]

Hello!!! I’m going to be giving my thoughts on tfatws characters in this post so if you don’t want spoilers don’t look past Zemo 🤡

DISCLAIMER: everything in this post is purely an opinion. I, like everyone else, have yet to see the last two episodes and those might just change my opinions, but this is what I think so far. I will NOT tolerate any racism/sexism on my page so if any responses to this post include any of that you will be reported and blocked.

John Walker:

-From literally the first moment, I’ve hated him. (Which now that we see he’s supposed to be a villain, kudos to Marvel)

-As soon as he kept that serum I knew what was coming and I think Marvel and the actor executed the transition in him wonderfully

-The final shot of him standing over that poor man with a bloody shield was 💋🤌🏻 symbolism (but also for that guy to have earlier said that he idolized Steve and to then be killed while begging for his life by the knock off Captain America, is so heartbreaking and I want justice for his character)

Lemar:

-Deserved better. He was literally just vibing, helping his friend out. He had a brutal and unnecessary death.

Sarah:

-I’m so glad we got to meet her in the first episode. I feel like she really helps to show a more personal side of Sam and helps us develop his character more than say a girlfriend would’ve.

-I’m really hoping she’s safe. Like with this last episode, her being threatened, I hope it was just empty promises.

-I love her and I want more of her character

Karli:

-I totally understand where she’s coming from and I support the base idea of the flag smashers but like Sam said, they’re going about it the wrong way.

-I feel like her character development is sort of messy but idk maybe we get more in the last two episodes that sort of tie stuff up.

Zemo:

-Omg why is he so funny and relatable? Like he’s just such a meme I love it

-I truly think he has good intentions but no one is ever gonna trust him because he executes them the unethical way (similar to the flag smashers/Karli)

-Was is he always balling out in that fur coat? He’s so cool. What a fashion icon

Ayo/Dora Milaje:

-OMG OMG OMG THE FIGHT SCENE WAS SO BADASS I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW AMAZING THEY WERE AND WHEN THEY KICKED UP THE SHIELD FROM JOHN I SQUEALED IT WAS SO FUCKING PERFECT I STAN SOME BADASS QUEENS WHO DESERVES NOTHING LESS THAN THE GROUND THEY WALK ON TO BE WORSHIPPED 😍😍😍

-Lol but seriously, they were so cool and I hope we get more of them in the future episodes because as I always do when they’re on screen I got chills.

Sharon Carter:

-I really have no idea what she’s doing at this point. Like she’s just hanging out keeping an eye on them? Idk like if that’s all she’s gonna do what’s the point? Bring her back for one episode and show how badass and useful she is, then just keep her on the sidelines and hardly use her? Why?

-I hope they have more in store for her

Torres:

-What happened to my homie? They did the same thing with Sharon where is seems they just forgot about him? Idk hopefully he pops back up again. He was cool and brave as hell for going in a investigating the flag smashers with no backup

Isaiah Bradley:

-😢 he deserves better.

Sam Wilson

-I JUST WANT HIM TO CLAIM THE SHIELD. YOURE WORTHY BABY I PROMISE (but I get his reasoning)

-I enjoyed getting to see into his family/home life.

-I’m kinda disappointed thus far with his overall role in this show. Honestly feels like it’s more about John Walker and Bucky. Idk maybe the last two episodes dive deeper into his character since they are longer but it just seems weird that really all we got was half the show in the first episode then now just random little snippets of him talking in ways that further our understanding of where he stands with the government and flag smashers. It’s nothing to the scale of what we’re seeing with Bucky.

-I really enjoy the subtle/not so subtle ways they are showing Sams experience as a black man in America. They are executing it well and I think showing it the way they are is important exposure to those topics that can lead to important discussions.

-I love the flourishing bromance of SamBucky 😊

-I really hope we see more of him and Sharon because they’re a good dynamic 👀

Bucky:

-SEBASTIAN STAN IF YOU DONT STOP BREAKING MY DAMN HEART IM SUING (I have so many scenes in particular I want to talk about but I’ll do that in another post because this would be too long if I didn’t.)

-I’m living for this development we’re getting

-I want Bucky at peace. I’m manifesting it 🧘‍♀️

-Again, SamBucky??? I love it.

-I can’t wait to see him with the shield helping Sam train. It’s gonna be so GOOD

In conclusion. I love the show so far and I’m so excited to see where it goes 🤪

[brelione]

Just Me? (Kelce,Rafe,TopperXReader)

Warnings:Not proof read,mentions of eating disorders,not proof read,hehehehehe yall arent ready <3

The Best Boys   Marvel Movies   Action Figures     Bird

You couldnt stop thinking about what had happened with Rafe.You had tried everything to get it off your mind.You tried going for a swim,wrapping your banadage over with plastic wrap like Kelce had told you but that just made you think of how much more fun it would be to play volleyball in the pool with the boys.

You tried watching tv,doing the dishes and baking but you had baked brownies.Who’s favorite food in the whole world is brownies?Rafe.Rafe fucking loves brownies.You couldnt even understand why Rafe would kiss you.He had literally seen you with tears in your eyes and vomit all over your face.That’s gross.You sat in your kitchen for a while,walking in circles on top of the kitchen table,debating on whether or not to call Kelce.

You couldnt talk to Rafe about it,that was just both awkward and ridiculous.Kelce would probably insist on inviting Rafe over to have a group discussion about the importance of communication and understanding.That left Topper.You huffed,deciding to get off your table and grab a diet coke from the fridge before calling him.

“Did your cut reopen?”He asked anxiously,not even bothering to say hello.He held the football that was previously being thrown back and forth to his chest,holding up a finger to Kelce as he listened to you. “An emotional one.Can you come over?”You asked,tapping your fingers against your marble countertop.

He frowned,looking at the dull sky through his dark sunglasses,letting out a small sigh. “Yeah,sure.So whats going on?Is it the type of emotional reopen that you need McDonalds and coffee or is it a tissue and Criminal Minds situation?”He asked,guessing it was probably the second one.

 “Neither.Are you alone?”You asked,intriguing him. “You want me to come over?Like just me?”He asked. “Are-are you with the others?”You asked,waiting anxiously for his answer.He stared back at a confused Kelce,humming. “Im with Kelce.Would you be okay if I brought him?”He asked you quietly.

 “No-do not bring Kelce.I dont know,just tell him that you have to clean your fishtank or that your uncle died or something.”You exclaimed quickly,not wanting to hurt Kelce’s feelings.Topper’s jaw dropped. “Dont fucking manifest my uncle dyint-just give me twenty minutes,alright?”He asked.You smacked yourself in the face with your palm,groaning. “Yeah,okay.”You answered,hanging up.

You spent those twenty minutes pacing around your house,jogging up and down your stairs until you were painting,tug at your shirt to cool yourself off.You got annoyed with the material,ripping it off your head and throwing it. 

“FUCK!”You shouted for no reason in particular.Everything was beginning to stress you out,walking down the stairs and fighting the urge to scream as the moment ran through your head once more.You always knew Rafe would drive you crazy.Your door opened,Topper standing there with a frozen coffee topped with whipped cream.

He looked over to you,surprised that you werent laying on your couch as usual.He glanced down at your chest for a split second before staring down at the floor,feeling guilty.He held out the coffee to you,eyebrows furrowing when you placed it on the table opposed to eating the whipped cream off. “What’s going on?”He asked,reaching out to grab your shoulders and make you look at him.

 “Im sorry,im really fucking stressed and I have a stomach ache and im going insane and you’re the only person I cant think to talk too.Did you tell Kelce you were comeing here?”You asked.He grabbed your wrist gently,pulling you onto the couch and looking at you with concern evident on his face.

 “I told Kelce that I left my oven on so I had to leave.Rafe is out on the boat with Sarah,Ward,Rose and Wheezie for the day.Can you tell me what’s going on?”He asked,dragging the coffee across the table so it was in front of you.You sighed,bringing your knee to your chest and wrapping your arms around it.

 “I just-god,shitting fuck.”You cursed,getting quiet as you pinched the bridge of your nose.Topper was getting more and more worried as the seconds passed,reaching out a hand to rub your thigh in attempts to comfort you.

He let out a small gasp when you gripped his wrist tightly,shaking it back and forth with slight aggression. “Literally dont tell anyone what im about to tell you,got it?Not Rafe,not Kelce,not Nemo,not your mom,not your uncle not anyone.Do you understand?”You asked,trying your best not to sound completely insane but not succeeding at all.

He nodded quickly,anticipating building up within him. “Yeah,I totally wont.I promise.Now tell me what the fuck is happening!”He exclaimed. “Rafe kissed me.”You answered,feeling your hands shake a little as Topper went silent.He didnt know what to think.He was mroe mad at Rafe than anything.They had all agreed to just stay friends with you and not to fuck anything up.

He felt jealous that he wasn't the one to kiss you but also felt more worried about how you felt about the whole situation.Clearly you didn't feel great about it otherwise he wouldn't be sitting on your couch.He was shocked that you had chose to talk to him over Kelce.You had always picked Kelce to speak to about your emotional problems.That only made Topper think more.

Why wouldn't you want Kelce to know? “God,topper.Can you please say something?You’re stressing me the fuck out.”You huffed.He licked his lips upon realizing that his jaw had dropped. “So he just kissed you?Like,it just happened?”He asked.You nodded,looking over to the coffee and the foamy white mess that had once been a beautiful swirly mountain.

 “So...how do you feel about it?Do you like him like that?”Topper asked,trying to keep himself from freaking out.You bit your tongue,looking over to your tv and deciding that this whole house was too awkward and too quiet.You reached for the remote,putting on some cartoons. “I don't even know.I don't know what to think or how to feel and I havent talked to Rafe since then and now I feel like shit.What do I even do?i cant call him or anything cause I have nothing to say.”You thought out loud,kind of wishing that Kelce was here to go through all of the possibilities to help you figure out your best option.

But he wasn't. “Thats okay.You don't really need to know right this second but if you want to keep things from getting awkward then-well,hear me out.I think its a good idea for you to talk to Rafe about this or just talk to Rafe.Right now things are awkward because you’re not talking to him.Just think about it,you’re avoiding each other which makes you both too uncomfortable to start a conversation which will make things worse.”He explained as if he had been through this type of thing before.

You bit the inside of your cheek,forcing your eyes to look at the tv where a rerun of The Loud House was playing. “You really think its a good idea for me to talk to him?”You asked.You saw him nod from the corner of your eye,hearing your stomach rumble right after. “Yeah,I do.You should call him and ask him to hang out or something.I can invite Kelce over too so its not awkward and you two can either talk about it or not.Just being around him in that setting will probably make you less nervous.”He handed you the frozen coffee and a straw,wanting you to drink it.

 “How stressed have you been?”He asked,relieved when you took a sip of the coffee.You pulled away from the straw,sighing. “Why?Do I seem overly stressed?”You asked,trying to figure out how he could tell you were anxious.On top of being friends with you for over five years he also watched Criminal Minds.He probably knew shit about your anxiousness.

He shrugged,looking around to see where you had thrown your shirt. “Your house smells like brownies.You used to bake so you’d feel closer to food and you stress bake sometimes.When was the last time you ate?”He asked,making your eyes widen and your heart thump.Shit.You hadnt eaten since the last time you saw Rafe,three days ago. 

“Yeah,its been a while,hasn't it?”He asked,knowing that he had caught you. “Did you do this on purpose?”He asked,tracing figure eights on your kneecap. “No,i've just been really stressed.”You answered.He nodded,telling you to drink your coffee while he went to make you something.You sat on the couch,stirring the coffee and thinking again.The thought of him kissing you invaded your mind as you thought back to everything that had led up to it.

You had wrapped your legs around his waist but that wasnt something uncommon for you to do.You’d wrap your legs around him and your arms around his shoulders and make him carry you around like a toddler.Something told you it was just the way the situation was,he was really close to you and no one else was around so why the fuck not?That was probably all it was but your brain kept going back to the way your stomach felt and the way your heart sped up.

It was something that you hadnt felt before and your brain was probably just trying to recreate the feeling by forcing you to think about it for 72 hours straight.Yeah,that made perfect sense.Your phone dinged,causing your heart to drop into your ass.Fuck.You picked it up,not daring to look at the screen as you built up the courage to look at it.

Three….two...one.You looked at the screen,eyes widening when you saw who it was.It was your uncle,one that you hadnt spoken too since your fourteenth birthday.That was the first red flag before you even read the message. “Your mother’s with me.She’s not coming back.”Was all it said.He was in Italy which meant that your mother was too.She had no reason to be in Italy.This had to be some sort of sick joke.Maybe your Uncle’s wife had took his phone and texted that to you just to get you on edge.

Deep down you knew that it wasnt true,that you mother really wasnt coming back.Your eyes began to water,a few tears rolling down your cheeks.What the fuck were you gonna do?There was no knowing if she would pay the bills from Italy or if you would lose your house and everything you owned because of her.You let out a muffled sob,covering your mouth with your hand.Topper heard,running out of the kitchen.

 “Hey,whats wrong?Is it about Rafe?”He asked,kneeling in front of you and grabbing you a paper towel to blow your nose.You shook your head,watching as he picked up your phone and read the message across the screen. “Its gonna be okay,I promise,okay?”He began to rub your back,wishing the Rafe or Kelce was here since he wasnt the best at comforting you.Rafe was best at cuddling and Kelce was best at talking and Topper preferred to just be emotional support. “No-no she’s not coming back and im gonna lose the house and im fucked!”You sobbed,his arms wrapping tight around you. “No,no you’re not.We’ll figure it out.”He answered,making the decision to call Rafe and Kelce to come and help with the situation.

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[treestargarden]

episode 4, “colorful girls” analysis

tw: child sexual abuse

this episode does not hold back. 

first of all, momo is ace and non-binary. no i won’t be elaborating. 

wonder killers’ dialogue:

next, the wonder killers absolutely say things that were important to the wonder girls’ irl trauma. this is from miwa’s wonder killer. she just had a conversation with momo where she revealed the hurtful things her mother said to her, like “why couldn’t you just take it” or “take it as a compliment, it means you’re cute.” it’s quite possible with this dialogue, that these were also things her abuser said to her quite often to make her believe simply by existing she was “asking for it.” 

wonder eggs’ inner strengths: 

its also possible that the wonder killers are... combinations of the wonder girls’ sources of trauma and not just 1 manifestation of 1 person, but rather all of the people connected to the trauma. 

in response, miwa says this:

and added on “you got married, because you love each other” in the first few minutes of meeting her, i was not expecting this. up to this point, we have met a lot of wonder girls who are tired, exhausted, sad, lonely (excluding the 2 girls that ai and rika are trying to save right now). but, given the fact that she was vocal about her abuse, i’m certain this is exactly how miwa would respond in this situation.

even more poignant, is the fact momo simply listened to miwa’s protest while they were fighting the wonder killer. they agreed with her. i find it fascinating. i’m not sure what to do with this info yet, but i already like momo (partly bc i /know/ they’re non-binary, like... that’s a genderfuck if i ever saw one). 

this next part really grabbed my attention, juxtaposed with miko and mako’s kill-assist. these girls are definitely not meant to seem helpless or meek or powerless. i really like that this show so far has been capturing the complexity of a “survivor’s” strength (again, quotes, because these girls are technically dead, but i don’t want to use the term “victim” because it implies they have no power). 

they recognize when someone else is in need of help and they easily flip the switch from saved to savior. i’m in love with these girls so far. their characterization is complex, intriguing, and realistic at this point. 

specifically with miwa, her “surrender” is not my interpretation at all. she specifically recognized that she did have some power in this situation to help momo, just as miko and mako had some power to assist ai. their approaches are entirely different, but that doesn’t make their courage, or the strength, wrong. i’m not angry at this characterization of miwa AT ALL. sometimes, the best way to avoid worse punishment is to give in, its just the fuckin reality of abuse. but it neither makes her weak, nor does it make the writers apologists. 

they /specifically/ juxtaposed the girls because they wanted to show that they had different strengths for different reasons and that neither were entirely powerless. they did the best they could in this situation. 

shit i love momo:

also, if you have read this far, this is why i think momo is non-binary: 

i have a few... thoughts about momo’s trauma specifically that may relate to momo being non-binary.

1) momo’s wonder eggs r rape “survivors.” if my theory that the wonder eggs directly relate to the irl peoples trauma, then it would be plausible that momo’s trauma is some form of sexual trauma.

2) continuing with the sexual trauma thread, and also including momo’s flashback, it’s quite possible between them and now, that momo’s trauma occurred between these 2 points in time. this is inferred by the obvious change in appearance.

3) what could have “caused” (this isn’t to blame momo’s trauma on momo, but it’s the closest word i could think of on the spot for trading out my theories) momo’s trauma?

i have a few ideas: momo has the face of a boy, but used to wear girls clothing and sometimes momos voice fluctuates from sounding like a boy to sounding like a girl. momo could have been correctively raped either for being perceived as a femboy, trans woman, or a dyke.

additionally the corrective rape could have happened /after/ momo started wearing boys clothes and someone would have taken notice that momo sounded like a girl but looked boyish.

in either case, momo confessed to an unnamed second girl that wearing boys clothes is “simpler.” even if momo doesn’t necessarily like it, it seems momo feels forced to present as a boy. at this point, it can then be inferred the boys clothing is probably a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma (and now i feel that the issue happened when momo still dressed/presented as a girl).

HOWEVER, not once does momo ever explicitly say momo is a girl, feels like a girl, wishes momo was a girl. only momo’s presentation has been discussed at this point. in the screen shots i provided above, i feel like most people would say “i /am/ a girl.” i think that momo at least identifies with girlhood, but i don’t think momo is attached to the identity of “girl.”

and momo is ace/aro because all of these relationships we see momo in are very one-sided. when miwa tells momo she loves momo, momo replies with “thank you.” and when miwa asks if they can continue cuddling “until i disappear” we get a closeup on momo who looks forlorn and thoughtful, who simply says “sure.” a lot of momo’s interactions with girls giving momo sexual/romantic attraction feel empty.

on the other hand, we see momo’s interactions with the other 3 main characters at the end of this chapter as very emotional, light. it’s probably the /most/ lighthearted we have seen momo. momo is not getting unwanted attention—they’re all just gossiping and laughing.

when we see momo’s flashbacks with haruka, we notice that haruka hugs momo but momo does not reciprocate the touching.

again, these are just threads that im seeing and excitedly pull apart, some of my theories are half baked until i have more information. but for me it’s plainly obvious that momo is an ace non-binary person. i know the fandom has been... having heated discourse about “what is momo /really/.” and for some reason this is controversial? really weird to me.

it’s a complex issue because gender is complex. for those of you that are binary, remember that you feel very knowledgeable about your own gender, but being non-binary is an absolutely different experience all together. we aren’t some “third gender” bullshit. and i’m quite enjoying seeing binary folks be confused about momo because that’s what being non-binary feels like. i wake up every day wondering what today’s gender will be. welcome to my fuckin life.

neiru:

i find it fascinating her personality has taken a complete 180 turn regarding ai. if we remember, in the beginning of their relationship, neiru was specific that ai could only contact her if she wished to change who buys eggs when. but once neiru was admitted to the hospital, ai started texting and visiting her throughout her healing period.

initially i thought this was more of a “keep your friends closer, your enemies closer” scenario, but then i went back to the episode 2 ending: 

at first, neiru forbade ai from texting her other than to make egg-buying arrangements. but neiru texted ai back with a thumbs up emoji. she isn’t being incredibly open, but given the development of her character so far, i think this is definitely her way of showing ai she trusts her and that neiru is opening up to her. 

settings:

so at this point, its pretty obvious that the location of the main characters’ worlds are always the same and they are specifically tied to their links’ places of death. 

neiru: unknown

ai: school

rika: gardens

momo: subway

from the other information we have gathered, its probably likely all of the links have died by suicide. 

neiru: unknown. however, we do know that neiru claims she could have stopped it. 

ai: a story of child sexual abuse/bullying. i’m not sure if koiko committed suicide because she was being molested or because of the bullying, but it could also be a combination of the 2

rika: rejection/fatphobia/eating disorder. chiemi committed suicide because of rika’s rejection based on fatphobia. chieme probably developed an eating disorder, evidenced by rika re-telling ai the day she visited chiemi’s funeral “she was skin and bones”. 

momo: rejection/unknown. haruka expressed attraction to momo. it seems momo may have rejected that love and haruka felt suicide was the best way to resolve her inner conflict. 

faults:

hmm at the same time, there are some hang-ups i have about this episode. a lot of these girls are so... love-starved, that even when a character shows the slightest bit of tenderness for them, they are quick to say “i love you!” miwa told momo she loved him, “even if i’ve only known you for a day” and this was juxtaposed by miko and mako telling rika and ai they loved them, too. there is something to be said about the attachment issues some of the wonder girls may have to people who help them resolve their trauma/healing. 

extra:

[ccsthemovie2]

what are ur thoughts on eriol . he is so complex in a way i cant explain and i wish they dove more into him in the showwww :'] also if what ur saying about clear card where hes called a softie is true then HUH .. like dont get me wrong i love him but like HES LITERALLY INSANE !!!

man what ARENT my thoughts on eriol. search clow or eriol or clowriol on my blog and go wild, i guess. i will try to say points off the top of my head? but also im sure theres a trillion more thoughts archived throughout blog.

-ymmv on this but i dont think of him as a child like at all, bc of the way he kind of flings off his childish persona at the end (and, throughout the origibal series, whenever he's alone etc) like the disguise it was, the way he's been physically alive for, you could make an argument for based on if you think fujitaka spawned as a baby or not, 30-40ish years, etc. hes a short adult who pretends to be young sometimes.

-the fact that mizuki specifically is dating him is still extremely gross bc it gives her a Pattern, tho. but also there is no way he is treating her well imo, so i can think of it as like, haha sleep on the chair forever while he acts all baby in the huge bed. she is in a hell of her own making, is how i think of it, and especially in clear card when they are alone in the house and kaito shut off their wifi. but also thats my watsonian thoughts, doylism would say CLAMP YOU GROSS AWFUL PROPAGANDISTS STFU-

-latest chapter aside lol, i think eriol and clow are basically the same guy- i discuss them a lot as "clowriol", as one entity. I think it's debatable if theyre LITERALLY using The Same Soul (i don't think eriol himself knows, and i think this is a little bit scary to him, keeps himself up at night sometimes wondering, if and when he dies, if he will see clow on the other side or if it's Just him and fujitaka. his own memories would be seamless. how do you know if youre a perfect copy or an original?)- but in his thoughts, memories, attitudes, etc, it's all clow. In fact, eriol had all clow's power, there's no reason he couldntve just said "hang on a sec im going babymode" and immediately kept sustaining kero, yue, and the cards himself for a while till sakura got born! but:

-he didn't want to, because i think he became eriol to become a blank slate and be able to say "thats not me youre looking for". the responsibility became overwhelming to him, i think, looking at these people he created to be eternal, and that he influenced to *need someone* eternally, and went oh no, this is going to be forever. and that scared him really bad, i think. scared him, literally, to death.

-fujitaka is an important part of them to me. i basically analyze the three of them as one entity, highlighting different traits. in fujitaka, we see that in the absense of magic power, he will gravitate towards social power. he (collectively) wants to be a Teacher so so so bad, and he wants to love people that he has power over. I like to analyze fujitaka and nadeshiko's relationship (which as we know is very very very very bad) as fujitaka's need for power-over-others manifesting in a situation where he didn't have magic to let him literally Make Friends.

-eriols fave part of being baby is ppl complimenting how hes ~soooooooo good at things!!!!!~ buddy you are 42 of course you make a better cupcake decoration than a 11 year old.

-i think clear card's softie comment is very funny to me bc it implies clow was just NONSTOP pranks on randos and if they die well too bad. eriol's mellowed out in his old age. he cares more for human life. he mostly sticks to tormenting his cat's digestive system. 🎶 maybe driving a few kids to madness, maybe they were predisposed to madness who knows, 🎶 etc etc .

-i think between original and clear card he made himself very available as a friend to syaoran, and tossed in a lot of "oh dont tell anyone but-"s while making it clear you can Always talk to me, anout Anything :)! and slowly constructed a situation that isolated syaoran enough for [clear card spoilers] to take shape and for him to feel he couldnt tell sakura about it.

-i think he became a college professor like the instant he got back to england lmaooo

-here is my fic that gets v wordy of the clowrioljitaka connection! https://archiveofourown.org/works/30718028

[m0e-ru]

I want to bring this into your perspective and see if you agree with it. Because I've been thinking and wanted some thoughts and from other people. Everything in Persona is controlled by the Human Mind (like P3-5 because idk P1-P2 ;n;) Didn't everything come into existence because its what humans desired? In this case everything like the gods are personifications of what humans wished for (spending on the game except P3 because thats actually god of death)

spoilers for every 4 and 5 base game and spinoff

anon darling sweet this has literally been my brainrot for the past year

(I don't know how long this'll get since im tired but hey! I'll stuff things under the cut)

I'm particularly focused on 4 and 5 as seen in above, so my interpretations will be based on that fact as i have yet to play 1 nor 2, while 3 is unfortunately blurry to me (SAYS THE ONE WHO WATCHED A 10 HOUR CUTSCENE COMPILATION ON 4X SPEED. but i understand that nyx herself is. uh. an alien--an actual god. a /gets run over before i continue making more assumptions/)

As the gist of it, yeah! Human collectives desired one thing so much that it gave birth to a godly power, the so-called "Deities" of the Persona series.

"Deities," born of the collective human unconscious, are manifested from the cognition of what said collective unconscious has for the god of the same name.

Izanami was draped in white and was actually a corpse with burnt flesh hanging from bones underneath. Just like the myth where Izanami was a lot more attractive before she died and was rotting away in Yomi.

Kagutsuchi is, well, an entity of fire from the myth's god of fire (who also burned Izanami to death haha), deciding to burn things down to answer the desire for solitude

Mikuratana has the motif of magatamas on its wrists, similar to the myth where it was literally just Izanagi's necklace.

Unfortunately I have not much to say for the 5 deities with their gnostic myth and lovecraftian lore, so I only assume they manifest the same way from my observation.

That being said! No! None of these guys are reincarnations! Make all the "fighting my ex in front of the gas station" jokes all you want, that's not your ex! Izanagi is also a manifestation of the human heart in the form of a Persona inspired by bancho's thoughts of the myth's Izanagi which is why is looks kickass and has a funny coat. They've literally just manifested with the same name (their forms being inspired from however the human unconscious thinks of said mythological figure resulting to their appearance manifested)! The joke gets bland overtime, okay?? I don't even know how you people actually genuinely believe the reincarnation bullshit--but anywho

For this reason and as personal preference, I'd rather refer to them as "deities" as opposed to "gods" in discussion, as I reserve that term for figures they're inspired by. But yeah, more casually you'll see me toss terms around.

Deities out of the way, then there's the "world of the human unconscious." Said to "have always existed," "be born from human hearts," "be affected by human hearts," "exist within humans themselves."

In 4's case, the human unconscious had always been a lush and vibrant forest filled with life. Just like how Teddie remembered it being, before human desire grew out of bounds and turned it into the "hollow forest." In this case, it became devoid of life as fog engulfed it, all for the sake of keeping the Shadows at peace when their desires changed and they wouldn't stay calm unless their vision was obscured from the truth.

(This is mind, I am speaking without Golden's "Hollow Forest" which I would rather refer to as "Marie's Tomb" to make things clearer. And because I honestly saw it as a poor attempt to connect Marie to Izanami when it was just... unnecessary and lore shattering and baababababa you get the point.)

Following this, it also reconstructed itself as a TV station. All for Shadow selves to manifest and broadcast themselves through the Midnight Channel. Human desire at the time being, "Humans ache to expose their suppressed sides, while the prying eyes around them are curious to see them laid bare," after all.

Don't ask me what happened in Arena--in fact, lore was thrown around like a poor marketable plushie where it might've been thrown out the window at this point. Spinoffs have their charms...and their bullshit.

However, while Inaba's world of the human unconscious was clearly shown its "before" and "after" it was corrupted by bloated desire to hide the truth (base) and the wish for self preservation and solitude (arena), Tokyo and the rest of Japan's state of the unconscious was never shown, as no one's been able to return when their access to that world has been restricted.

But recalling the fact it "has always existed in human hearts" may imply it wasn't all organic and...bloody. Just like Inaba's forest never being so foggy--or the fact it turned into something other than a forest at all.

Now! Why do I say "Inaba," and "Tokyo," ("Japan" too, I suppose), and possibly "Metropolis" as that's where 4's Dancing took place (the one Bancho, Rise and Naoto stay in, in context of the IT), separately?

Referencing the Golden Premium Funbook's Persona Team comments, each "collective" has its own world and can give birth to a deity. Which means that the "TV world (the forest)" is Inaba's unconscious, and the "Metaverse" and "Palace" nonsense is Toyko's (ayayayaya I can talk about how I see Strikers' lore in all this but NOT NOW im so sorry). The TV world can only be accessed in Inaba because it exists there.

I can say a lot more about the "human unconscious" like how the Midnight Channel works, or how deities are the ones to bestow access to their respective worlds of their human unconscious but I'll leave it here for now! Like I said, I'm heavily rotted with 4, then 5, but not so much 3 and nothing of 1 or 2, as seen in this interpretation. But thanks for asking for my thoughts! I'm happy to share! (and constantly go on several tangents and forget my main points WHOOPS but yeah!! i have thoughts. my brain is. brimming. with 4 thoughts.)

[bisluthq]

this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).