#(not a theory anymore but this is v much on that topic so)

[whatthefishh]

Sativa

Rydal Keener x f!reader

Part of the Oxford Comma series

Warnings: drug use (weed), studying excessively, oral (f receiving), mentions of p in v sex, baby cow eyes.

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: this took me way longer than I intended to write, it’s been a really difficult time in my mind for me and to those who are waiting for requests / chapters of other fics ily for being patient with me ❤️ huge thanks to my lovely mutuals who helped me, especially @xbellaxcarolinax for reading it over several times 🌹 love you

The room was slowly filling with the distinct smell of marijuana, little puffs of air spilling from Rydal’s lips as he took yet another drag of his joint before he tried to proposition you again.

“Wanna take a break now? It’s not like you can absorb the information by just staring at the textbook. Doesn’t work that way.”

You only sigh in response.

“A little smoke might make all those theories seem a little less… theoretical, yknow?” He laughs at the end of his quip like he finds himself extremely amusing.

“Oh, you think me finally giving in to your bad influence will help me pass this exam? You really think that’s the best way to study right now? Really?”

“Not a bad influence, princess, just wanna help you relax,” Rydal says while pushing your hair over your shoulder from where he was lying on his side next to you.

Smacking his hand away, you huff in annoyance. This wasn’t the first time he’s offered it to you, and it was never pressuring. He offered because he offered everything to you, and this was just another one of those things. You didn’t mind the smell. It was just irritating when you were trying to study and were very clearly stressed.

Rydal had learned these concepts from childhood, the topics of discussion in class were the same ones he’d have with his family at dinner, with his father over drinks at the early age of 14 back when he was obsessed with being just like him. The books on the syllabus were his summer readings as a child, the younger version of him desperate to impress with big words and bigger ideas, learning the hows and why’s of socialism when all his peers were riding their bicycles around the neighborhood. He didn’t have to focus as much as you did at this moment. And right now? Your brain was at its limit, barely digesting the words on the pages in front of you.

You lowered the textbook into your lap, turning to look down at him. His head was on the pillow next to you, eyes boring into yours calmly.

You felt your resolve slipping.

“None of this makes sense anymore.”

“What doesn’t?” He asked quietly, changing his teasing tone to match your somber one.

“It’s like, it’s like I’m reading the same thing over and over but I know—“

“You already know everything, you’re overthinking—“

“No, that’s what you think, but the last time I talked to your dad and he full-on tested me—“

“—wasn’t testing you, it came up organically so that doesn’t count—“

“Yes! Yes, he was! Who casually asks someone what their opinion on direct versus indirect democracies is over lunch? Like, what the fuck was I supposed to say?” Your voice is bordering on shrill, the memory of Lawrence’s unimpressed gaze and your face heating up in embarrassment as you struggled for words flashing through your mind.

“I’m sure he’d love hearing your rehearsed opinion next time. For now, though, I’d love to hear your opinion on something else.”

“Does it have to do with our actual reading material or does it have something to do with getting lost in a cloud of smoke with you?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna make you feel better, baby, is that so wrong?” Rydal is looking up at you, unwavering, moving to finger the edge of the sweater you had on before dipping his hand underneath to rest on your back.

Looking at him with those eyes, the intense deep stare he held; his pink lips and their slight upturn, gentle and playful all at once —you made up your mind.

Propping your hand to take the joint from him, he doesn’t give it but instead, he sits up to guide it to your lips himself, his other hand clutching your waist. Rydal rests the tip of it against your lips, his eyes watching the way you wrap them around it delicately and you swear you could see his pupils dilate and hear his breathing slow down.

“Take it nice and slow, deep breath,” he murmurs, eyes locked on your mouth as you inhale, “hold it, that’s it. Good girl. Now slowly exhale.”

You did as you were told, feeling the smoke fill up your lungs and burn slightly as you held it, and then exhaled straight into Rydal’s face.

“Oh god, sorry I didn’t realize how close—“

Before you could finish speaking, he took a deep drag of the joint and hungrily pressed his lips against yours, inadvertently blowing the smoke into your mouth while doing so. You could feel his warm breath mixing with yours, your hearts beating in unison as his lips worked yours. The almost sweet and earthy taste of the weed seeps into your lungs as his tongue claims your mouth. Everything was overwhelming and thrilling and arousing and beautiful and he felt so good right then that you wanted to claw your way into his lap and stay there, burrow into his chest until you were warm and safe.

Rydal would keep you safe, with him. He would.

Pulling apart for air, you don’t remember who moved first but he was tossing your textbook on the floor while you were peeling your sweater off, the room becoming instantly warmer, the need to be closer to him making you antsy. Needy.

The effects of the smoke kicked in sometime between kissing Rydal stupid and him taking off your bottoms, his eyes stripping you faster than his hands could. You were clutching his shoulders, desperate to keep him close especially once the weight settled over you and your limbs felt heavier.

He had to stay close, you couldn’t let him leave you at this moment. Your arousal mixed with the slight paranoia that came with the high resulted in a very strong desire to stay as close as you could to Rydal, needing him more than you could put into words. You hoped he understood from how tight you were holding him, from how much you were whining when he dragged a finger down your soaked panties.

You flopped back against his pillows and despite being naked, you didn’t feel cold, your eyes and nipples pointed to the ceiling as he kissed his way down your tummy. He already laved your breasts with his mouth, the traces of saliva he left behind from wrapping his mouth around your peaks now making them pebble in the evening air. Rydal’s hands were everywhere, his tongue dipping out every few seconds to taste your skin. The effects of the high made you hypersensitive to the maelstrom of sensations, his touches feeling ten times more powerful and intimate than usual.

You didn’t realize it, but you were making all the pretty and perfect noises for him, breathy moans louder than usual while he explored your soft skin, harshly panting and voice wavering on little moans. You were driving him up the wall, his hips softly grinding into his blanket for some relief while he mouthed over the top of your underwear.

Rydal’s mouth wrapped around your clothed clit, letting his drool soak the material until he could suck it and hear your shocked squeal of pleasure. You buried your hands in his soft hair, strands slipping through like gossamer.

He lifted his mouth an inch just to hook a finger around the gusset and plant an open mouth kiss on the very core of you. He was sweet like that.

Apparently, your panties were too much of an obstruction for him as they were ripped from your legs a moment later so that he could spread you open with his fingers. Licking a stripe up your dripping cunt, Rydal dived in, eyes closed, his nose gently nudging your clit while he tongued at your opening. He continued to tongue fuck you, slowly moving in and out of your little hole leaving you gasping and moaning lowly, tugging on his hair. He continued this little routine; licking up your peeled-back core, tonguing inside your cunt, and then to rile you up that much more, he would let his teeth graze your clit.

Rydal’s fingers were stuck gripping your thighs, leaving indents from how tight he had to hold you down just so you’d stop squirming. You were so restless from him edging you, almost cumming several times but he’d pull back, blowing cool air on your core just to take you all the way again. Occasionally, he would moan into you, swirling his tongue around your clit just to suckle on it sweetly as if it were honey he was drinking on. You were whining pathetically as you buck your hips up into his mouth, the synthetic dose of dopamine only serving to heighten your pleasure. Your limbs felt heavy, you could’ve been 10 feet underground, plunged deep within the earth itself, body like lead, and the only thing you could focus on was the way Rydal’s mouth lapped at you, slurping obscenely as he made you choke on a moan.

This time around, he didn’t let up, his tongue working double time as he stared up at you, his hands pushing your thighs further apart to give him the space to fuck you with his tongue with purpose. He was intent on making you cum, fucking finally. You tried to ask, tried to form the words to beg him – maybe you did, maybe you were begging him more than you usually did, maybe that’s why he was finally giving in to you, you really couldn’t remember what you were saying – but it seemed he wasn’t stopping. Reaching up with one hand to entwine his fingers with yours and resting it on your tummy, he groaned, almost as if giving you the permission you were waiting for to let go, that it was okay, that he’d take care of you, catch you when you inevitably fall.

And fall you did. Hard.

Eyes shutting, head thrown back, floating and sinking simultaneously, his mattress was soaked not only with your release but with sweat, your body feeling seven different emotions at once as you finally came into his eagerly awaiting mouth. Rydal was there just as he promised, made you feel good – brilliant, intoxicated, euphoric – true to his word.

The comedown was… interesting.

Rydal was still holding your hand, thumb rubbing the back of your palm while he nuzzled your thigh, resting his head and blinking up at you while you caught your breath. He was a sight to behold, his gorgeous hair mussed from your restless hands, lips shiny and swollen from use and his eyes, so fucking deep and loving and still hungry.

The giggling started, hazy thoughts from the high making it hard to stop, taking the weight off your chest as it continued. Thinking about how you were aggressively pushing his hands away from you just moments before letting you wreck his comforter had you covering your face, releasing another peal of laughter. Rydal’s lazy half-smile while watching you only made it worse, knowing he thought you were a lightweight and would definitely tease you about it later. Kissing his way back up your body, pressing his mouth lovingly on your soft parts, he met you at his pillow, smiling down at you prettily. You sigh after the last little laugh leaves your chest, eyes sparkling up at him and suddenly feeling bashful.

“Never heard you beg so nicely before,” he says, smiling, kissing the corner of your mouth before snickering at your embarrassed groan. “‘Pleasepleaseplease, oh GOD–’”

“Ssshhhhhhutthefuckup oh my god, I did not sound like that,” you shoved your hands on his face, hastily trying to cover his mouth from speaking and imitating you again. Your cheeks burned. You didn’t sound like that, right?

“Mmmph, yeah actually, you’re right. It was much worse,” he managed, despite your fingers slipping into (his?) mouth. After gently removing them, he held them down against the bed before leaning forward to hover right above your lips, “it’s okay, baby, I liked it. Can you do it again for me?”

And then he held your gaze, like a fucking siren, knowing exactly the effect he had on you and your now achingly empty pussy, the muscles clenching around nothing as he let his breath mingle with yours. Rydal didn’t kiss you, just stared at you with his eyelids low waiting for you to beg him.

“Are you gonna let me take care of you? Gonna ask me nicely?” He was so close but kept himself away until the only thing you could focus on was syncing up the movement of your lungs. His denial only made you want him more, desperation bleeding out from you.

“Mhmm,” you whimpered.

“Yeah? That the best you can do?”

“P-please.”

“There it is,” he mumbled, gripping his length in one hand, lining himself up to slowly push himself in, the fat tip of him stealing your breath.

Rydal never got enough of the way your sweet pussy gripped him, and made sure to pull as many soft pleas out of you as he could for the rest of the night.

[t0tallycr1nge]

Hello MD fandom. Having discussed Cabin Fever with my Mom, I've finally come up with a theory. 🤓

Uzi looses control of her Solver powers and can become controlled by CYN when she gets overly stressed, panicked, embarrassed, or well, just feels any strong, negative emotion.

Lemme give examples:

The first time that she (almost) looses control is after looking out the window and seeing N making friends with her classmates, who well, hate her and can't even remember her name.

It's extra sad for her for the simple fact that N and V are made to KILL them and yet get along with her classmates just fine, so why can't she? Uzi even tells V this when the two start talking a few minutes later.

I also want to add that she cooled down (literally) once V started talking to her. V starting a conversation with Uzi distracted our favorite Hot Topic worker drone from sad thoughts about not having friends.

Another example:

Uzi finally lost control right after V told her that N would easily leave her

and right after she saw N getting along with her classmates (again) and accidentally turned Briaden's arrow into uh- well, whatever that thing was.

Uzi was clearly SUPER embarrassed, ashamed, terrified, and confused. All of those emotions, plus the thought of N leaving her, finally made her snap.

She obviously doesn't want N to leave her, Uzi loves him a lot.

So what happened to her wings? I think they just, well, disappeared. N made her laugh and fully calmed her down, so CYN couldn't control her anymore, which means she turned back to normal.

This theory, if correct, also can explain the scene where Uzi holds on to N's hand while she's sleeping.

Uzi grabbed his hand for a sense of comfort. She doesn't want him to leave, so she was just making sure he was still there, right by her side.

It makes N a sort of, well, comfort dog (Which is ironic and would also make sense because on the N Animatez Box, Glitch describes him as a "Gleeful Puppy Dog"

Thank you so much if you read through all of that!

Sorry if this theory makes no sense, I'm not used to doing stuff like this LOL

[louisisalarrie]

Hey lovely. So, I’m kinda embarrassed to ask this but I’ve seen a few posts about it. Do you think Louis is in a relationship with another guy (not Harry)? I’ve seen a few things now about Fin from Stone and the fact that he and Louis look quite comfy together. I don’t see it myself. They look like mates who support each other and for Louis is seems like business to me - when he meets him he seems to have his team with him - but just wondered what your take on it was. I feel like L has gone a long time now projecting his ‘single’ image which for someone as lovely as him seems kind of strange. I’d have thought someone would be snapping him up!

Sorry for the weird ask!!

Hiiiii don’t be embarrassed at all!!! It’s a topic floating around the solo Louies, solo harries, and larry fandom at the moment, so it’s natural to be curious about it. It’s a pretty annoying little theory though, and some larries have even been considering it to be true. So, anon, let’s have a look at this together, and as always, welcome to the show.

I’m gonna break this down a little bit so I’m not rambling and jumping all over the place.

1. No, i do not believe that Louis and Finn are together, nor have any romantic/sexual tendencies towards each other. I don’t believe that Louis is with anyone other than Harry. I am an unshakeable larry who will die on this hill hahhaa, but i will try and look at this as diplomatically as possible because it is actually causing a few waves and I’ve seen a fair bit about it from multiple parts of the fandom.

2. I don’t believe this is a stunt or seeding a solo coming out for Louis, which I’ve seen floating around. I don’t think he’d agree to that happening if it was with anyone other than Harry. And the Finn stuff doesn’t follow the same stunt timelines and PR ops that usually happen. So unless the V*nes team has had a massive shift in how they coordinate stunts and have agreed to even let Louis be a little fruity, would be a wild time. But as an industry standard, it’s not a stunt at all.

3. Louis’ body language has always been open, touchy, and basically doesn’t have many physical boundaries with the people he cares about. We’ve seen it with Liam, Niall, Zayn, Oli, other members of his band… and they’re all just his friends, right? He’s just naturally comfortable with that, always has been (except for the clear rigidness he has around stunts/women being touchy with him). His body language is different with Harry though, as we know. So I don’t think body language is a good argument for why people would think they’re together. There’s masterpost comparisons around that show his body language towards others and towards Harry explaining this all. But I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about!

4. On the topic of Oli… I think if there was a more general consensus of people finding him attractive (I’m not saying he’s not attractive, but there isn’t much hype from a majority of fans around his looks like there is Finn and Louis etc.), then these anti larry people would probably assume he’s actually dating Oli, you know what I mean? It’s like… solo Louies, who have been so against Harry and the concept of Larry… I’m seeing them be like “oh maybe Louis is queer, he’s probably dating Finn” and I’m like ????? So you have no problem accepting Louis May not be straight, but god forbid it’s with Harry. It’s such a contradiction, and they don’t even realise it.

5. So… on the topic previously on stunts and Louis’ singleness… we have to remember that BBG is still ongoing. That’s not ended, and it’s not shoved in our face as much anymore (apart from the feature in AOTV and the Christmas photos) and I think his deal is he’s not gonna have a stunt on top of that. Sure, he’s had some short lived gfs who he’s had a pap walk with, but I believe that was for him specifically to push away as far as possible from B and BBG so when it ended, he wasn’t still tied up to her and in the thick of it. I don’t imagine they’d do a long term stunt gf while that’s ongoing, because it’s overkill. His straight, party boy image is still there, but I think it’s settled a bit from what it was, and I think we’ll continue to see it settle a bit for when the coming out happens. So, yeah. That’s my take on why I don’t think he’s gonna have another long term stunt happening (I’ve made a longer post on this previously, but happy to expand more in an industry POV if you need). And someone had already snapped him up because he’s lovely, and that’s Harry!

Thanks for the chats anon. Youre always welcome in my inbox xx

[petrichoraline]

For the honest answer ask game: what's the history of your blog? (this really just includes how/when you began blogging on tumblr, content, your interactions and your special moments on here etc; whatever you wish to prioritize for the ask in context).

honest hour question answered 3 days later <3 truly hope the wait was worth it love hahah

as someone who's gone through my archive already, you know i started out as a bts fan account in 2015. (my previous blog is not gonna be discussed for the simple reason that it's barely relevant to this one)

i believe i used to tag and organise my reblogs? there was a time where i cared enough and i loved srolling through my own blog, i stopped enjoying that when i became more involved w/ fandom on here and things weren't aesthetics based anymore. i don't like going through it that much now. i used to play around with themes, search for them, tweak colours and fonts for hours. after i returned years later there was an issue with the editor so now i can't change my theme at all and it sucks cause i just want to edit a few things.

so it started of as a bts fanblog, then i started rb-ing other kpop stuff, maybe afterwards i started sharing gifsets from movies and series i liked? as for fandom, i had a good amount of mutuals - accidentally became one with a girl from my country, we went out once and it was very nice <3 procrastinated and lost track fo tag games back then too lmaoo i felt a lot of dissatisfaction over it so i try to do everything now with my current fandom :)

back then is when i started reading fanfiction - i believe my first imagine was a taegi one where v was an artist and yoongi a photographer lol i stumbled upon it on the dash randomly and i got introduced to ao3 a bit after

iirc for the following years after i'd stopped stanning bts, i used to come back either relatively often or once in a blue moon - in the beginning i was just enjoying wtv my dash was offering me or seeking out specific stuff, then i started using it as a tracklist of what shows i've watched haha, no tags, just rb after finishing a show.

i started engaging with fandom around the release of episode 5 of kinnporsche, i read a bunch of posts on here, then tms2 came around and i got even more into reading people's takes..at some point i started talking to people i guess hahah i don't even know when i started trying to put out content, so to say, i just know i was doing screenshot posts short before i found myself pushed to attempt gifs and that was after big dragon had just finished airing.

then i started my giffing journey. had support from @gillianthecat whom i loved giffing paulnice for. honestly that and the discussions we had were such an important part of me having fun with this site and keeping it up. and @joyladagang, my self-proclaimed #1 hype woman, made me feel super welcome. then i got even more moots, at some point i started reaching out or actively reciprocating others attempts at getting closer (though i had been active in discussions before that, i just mean i got a bit braver and started acting more familiar with everyone (esp w/ ppl i got closer to through @joyladagang like @cankersoregirl, @feralmuskyscentedhoepran, @loserlesbianongsa etc.)

i'm grateful to a lot of people on here, truly. it's not supposed to be a shoutout post so i won't be tagging any more people (esp since i would have to tag everyone who follows me plus a bunch of people i follow which..it's a bit much) but i'm genuinely thankful for each person that enjoys my rants, gifs, theories or wtv the things i post classify as, whether they found a post by accident or follow the blog. and i'm grateful to the creators i follow, and i'm happy to talk to so many sweet, smart and funny individuals on various topics daily.

so this is where my blog is at right now - trying to do a bit of everything and talking a bit with everyone. my issue, tbh, is i'm trying a bit too hard to satisfy everyone which sounds ridiculous but i am a bit of a people pleaser at times so it checks out lol

[gaybabeyjailbreak]

You are feeling hopeful because voting for a black fem president makes you feel like it will solve every problem, except it won't and she really isn't good.

She is not even the lesser of two evils, sorry to say chief but good people don't support imperialist exploitation and mass genocide in foreign countries.

She is a lesser evil and only to you, and she isn't that better there either.

She was a VP with enough influence to push for a comeback for overturning roe v wade, she has done nothing, and I don't expect she will do more considering how centrist she's skewing rn, so I expect her to introduce at best a limited conditional rights for abortion to appease the republicans she courts so much.

She will not improve the housing crisis, because she not addressing the problem. The issues with jacked up prices isn't scarcity it's greed of landlords and of reality agencies hiking up the prices, if you wanted to combat that, you introduce rent roofs and limits of house prices. But if she did that, she'd alienate the upper middle class that she so extensively wants to court, so that's a no. As it stands this will give landlords more properties to hike up rent for and reality agencies more plots to charge way too much for, but hey it sounds catchy to say ig.

Medical care will become more relieving for the middle class that can afford it, which sounds nice in theory but again, middle class is predominantly white, and the lower class that doesn't even have money to get insurance or to afford very specific medication regardless does not benefit. Again she is a wealthy liberal, she will not help women poc and lgbtq people beyond empty platitudes.

When she last explicitly said she supports defending the police, which was in may 2020 she walked that opinion back the moment she became Biden's VP pick. And her position hasn't been changed since, and has gotten worse as she supports militarisation in general. She was lying then to appeal electable, and it didn't work, so they returned to courting centrism. Good job

But Palestine is a more important topic she should change her stance to, need I remind you people are dying there now, right now, you can wait, until after an arms embargo is made. Also her ceasefire promises are a sham, they're not solving anything, the sole goal of the ceasefire talks headed by the us is to get one done so Harris can look good by claiming to mediate a ceasefire.

Except when you read about how the ceasefire talks go you learn it's just US putting pressure on Palestine to essentially surrender and acquiesce to being occupied by Israel. And being increasingly urgent because the election is approaching and of course the sovereign resistance of Palestine won't accept surrender. And that should make you mad, not complacent just because something is being done about it, so suddenly we can pretend like Harris's stand on Palestine isn't an issue anymore. She is not doing better for Israel than Trump, she only performs in a way that a layman thinks she's doing better.

I hate both of your political parties immensely, but even then the republicans do not hide what scumbags they are behind a veil of placid civility.

Point is that she is very much not a light of hope, or a symbol for change.

She will be another 4 years of complacent liberal democracy, that you will not do anything under because electing a liberal demcorat made you think stuff is changing even without you knowing because of course it has to, the president is a black-indian woman, nevermind th fact she was raised in upper middle-class comfort, and worked in a system based on exploitation of minorities that she didn't do shit to change about.

I know this is not going to be a popular take online but honestly Kamala Harris is the first politician to ever make me feel even a little sliver of hope in my entire adult life.

I think that a Harris-Walz administration could do wonderful things for women's rights, and I think they could do a better job of bridging pay gaps and providing housing aid to people across the US. She's already proposed to a) build more homes and b) increase affordable housing stock. That's great.

Also, queer rights wise, Walz has already a) banned conversion therapy in MN and b) made trans-affirming healthcare more accessible. This is a stark contrast with Trump's proposal to essentially make being queer publicly illegal, take away trans healthcare, and eliminate queer media stories that we can see ourselves in.

And let's talk about education! Student debt relief, free school lunches for K-12 students, greater accessibility to resources that make teaching all subjects easier.

Medical care will certainly become more accessible. Even if it isn't free, she has said she wants to offer reduced rates on necessary medications. And you know what Trump is going to do? Jack up the prices. Like, cancer treatments and insulin will be unaffordable and tons of sick and disabled people will DIE. Also, abortion! That's health care! Women are going to die under Trump, especially when he wants to TRACK PREGNANCIES!

I'm getting really frustrated by the narrative that Harris specifically is simply "the lesser of two evils" in the same way that Biden was. She has outlined actual actionable steps to improve rights across the US. Both she and Walz have demonstrated that they can and will make things better than they currently are.

"Kamala the cop" is doing nothing when she has literally argued for defunding the police recently.

"But Palestine-" She's already calling for ceasefires, and she's going to be better than Trump no matter what. Also don't throw other minorities under the bus and literally let us die under the Trump administration for a single issue. Queer, disabled people, and people of colour in the US do not deserve to die for a moral stance. It's incredibly important, but not the only important thing.

"But I don't like two party politics-" no one does babydoll, but it's what we've got. We can take action and protest this system in the future, just as we can and should continue to protest for Palestine. But like, we are not dismantling a deeply ingrained system in the next three months, and it's short-sighted and idealistic to pretend we can.

IN CONCLUSION I actually think Harris-Walz can do a LOT of good and I'm sick of pretending that they're just a non-Trump placeholder in the same way that Biden was.

[novantinuum]

Corruption + Pathophysiology concepts

So, I learned a few new terms and concepts this week in my Mechanisms of Disease class, and I believe there’s some interesting applications one can make between these human medical concepts and SU’s concept of corruption- specifically, when showing how Steven’s condition in I Am My Monster can indeed be referred to as corruption despite having a different origin to other examples of corruption we’d seen before.

Before I get into the fandom stuff though, we need to talk shop about some cool pathophysiology words! Let’s go do that.

Term 1: Etiology

Etiology refers to the precise cause of a disease or disorder. Now, one of the important pieces of knowledge I’ve had reinforced in this class is that some diseases/disorders can have multiple causes.

An example: Meningitis. 

This disease can be caused by one of many species of bacteria, viruses, some fungi, and even by parasitic tapeworms. These are all wildly different sources, but in the end- if all the signs and symptoms of meningitis are there, and the etiology points to a documented meningitis-causing pathogen, the likely diagnosis WILL be meningitis. 

Term 2: Idiopathic

Idiopathic is what one calls a disease/disorder wherein the precise cause, or etiology, is unknown. Sometimes, individuals develop some form of disease/disorder and doctors may not be able to pinpoint the specific root cause of it. In that case, their goal is still to recognize and understand the signs and symptoms of it, and work off of what they DO know to try and alleviate one’s signs/symptoms.

Term 3: Clinical manifestations

This term refers to all the presenting signs and symptoms of a disease/disorder. Signs are measurable and directly observable- such as rashes, fevers, increased blood pressure, etc. Symptoms are patient-reported, subjective, and not able to be directly observed or measured- such as a headache, fatigue, etc.

Term 4: Disease/disorder

I also think the specific definitions of disease and disorder are important to clarify before I move forward- 

A disease is the functional impairment of cells, tissues, organs, or organ systems. 

Whereas a disorder is a disruption of the normal or regular functions in the body or a part of the body.

__ OKAY, and now to the fandom related stuff!

So. Thesis. When it comes to corruption, my analysis is that it can be considered a Gem disorder that has a collective set of recognizable symptoms, but many potential etiologies.

First off, Gems of course don’t have physical bodies, organs, and cells, but they do have a physical gemstone, and their hard light forms have clear functional abilities that can sometimes become impaired.

Some of these functional abilities include: 

Retaining a stable form

Shapeshifting

Communicative ability

Mental cognizance

Access of powers

Corruption disrupts many of these functions. Thus, considering the definitions of disease and disorder, I believe disorder would be the most accurate way to refer to corruption, looking at it from a human medical perspective. (While also recognizing that it’s a fantasy alien condition, and thus won’t perfectly align to human standards.)

As a disorder, corruption presents a number of recognizable signs and symptoms, which include:

Loss of control over form and shape- a corrupted individual’s form may physically expand, develop spikes/tusks/fangs/new body parts, or grow thicker hair. On top of this, upon reformation, this individual is not successfully able to revert to their original form. 

Loss of communication ability- a corrupted individual expresses trouble with verbal communication.

Loss of full mental cognizance- a corrupted individual is not completely aware of themselves and their surroundings, caught in what may be considered a “fight or flight” mindset.

Sometimes, but not in all cases- the development of atypically colored splotches on one’s form or gemstone

The only known successful treatment for those who exhibit the symptoms of corruption is exposure to water that contains the essences of all four diamonds. 

Now, moving on- Etiology. 

From what we’ve seen in Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future, and considering the the situations in these shows that exhibit these clinical manifestations, we can confidently say that corruption has three distinct etiologies:

1) It can be caused by direct damage from the Diamonds. (All the corrupted Gems on Earth.)

2) It can be caused by fusing with a currently corrupted Gem. (Jasper.)

3) It can be caused by a state of extreme mental distress and distortion of self-image. (Steven.)

Now, when it comes to the third etiology, a point of clarification- it cannot be confidently PROVEN whether this cause is something that could arise from any Gem or just from a diamond since we only have one case as an example, but given the fact that we didn’t see any of the CGs randomly corrupt when they were going through mental turmoil, my personal hypothesis is that: it’s either a diamond or a Steven exclusive thing. But again, with only one recorded statistic to work with, we can’t really make any certain statements.

So. Let’s talk Steven’s corruption, and why I believe it wholly counts as such. 

The symptoms Steven exhibits in I Am My Monster are: loss of control over form and shape, loss of communication ability, and loss of full mental cognizance. His form shifts until he’s larger than all of the Diamonds, he grows spikes and tusks and scales, he looses his ability to communicate verbally, and he expresses a great deal of mental confusion about his state, attempting to rush at his family and friends out of sheer fight/flight and survival instincts without wholly understanding what’s going on. He doesn’t develop splotches on his gem, but this is a manifestation that doesn’t always appear. It’s like the spotted rash in Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever- not every patient with this disease exhibits it, and it sometimes makes diagnosis tricky.

I don’t believe the Gems had any idea what specifically triggered him to fall into this state at first, nor did the Diamonds. Thus, initially they might have thought of Steven’s corruption as idiopathic. But when Blue Diamond first saw him, she recognized the signs and symptoms of corruption- and so, the most logical first step is to attempt to treat this condition like it IS corruption. The treatment of course, being exposure to water that contains the essences of all four Diamonds. Which means, with Steven being one of those diamonds, they must bring out his humanity so he can cry, adding in his own healing addition to that final elixir.

In sum: What happened to Steven in SUF was an example of corruption, despite having a different root cause than the other examples of this Gem disorder we’d previously seen in the show.

[bicheetopuff]

Dynamight and All Mights Character Arcs

⚠️MHA Manga spoilers⚠️⚠️Discussion of ch362⚠️

Okay… this is the only serious post I’m making regarding Katsuki’s death scare. I’ll answer any asks about it but other than that I’m not gonna make anymore posts about this particular topic. Mha isn’t within any of our control and predictions are just that… predictions. In reality, this is Horikoshis story and if he decides to truly break all of our hearts then so be it.

Also I’m not gonna talk about OFA theories and more so their characters themselves. Mainly cuz OFA is complicated and it’s difficult to pinpoint what might actually be happening to it or what it’s doing. I’m just going on based on what would make sense as their arc resolutions and why I think so. Anyways…

Contents:

I: Unfinished business

II: Katsuki’s Stubbornness

III: All Mights incomplete arc and Nighteyes vision

IV: Horikoshi’s writing style

V: Quirk Society

VI: Some Parallels

I: Unfinished Business

So I’m pretty sure we all came to the conclusion that Katsuki’s arc is incomplete and this supposed “death” feels abrupt, rushed, and unsatisfying. Not that if he died at another point it’d be satisfying but with how Horikoshi has written other deaths (which I’ll bring up again later) it’d be very out of character of Hori to present the second male lead with a death that feels so incomplete and tragic.

I’m gonna cut straight to the point: Katsuki has been reflecting on himself for almost 250 chapters. Slowly accepting that he’s in fact, not the best. Thinking about what he did to Izuku when they were younger and finding ways to atone for it. Learning that showing you care about someone isn’t a sign of weakness. Overall trying to be less of an asshole. And most important (in my opinion) learning how to accept help from others. I wanna talk about this point specifically.

Izuku is “win to save” right? His thing is about helping people even when they don’t ask for it, and at the beginning that’s what bothered Katsuki the most about Izuku. Izuku tried to help him when Katsuki didn’t need it and Katsuki thought it was offensive because why would a kid who is good at everything with an amazing quirk need help from a quirkless loser?

This development is what stemmed the “if I can’t save myself, I’d rather not be saved” attitude that he has at the beginning because having to be saved makes him feel just as—if not more—inferior as losing.

(Is this picture recycled from another meta I posted? Yea… yea it is. But the highlighted parts still apply)

It took him a while to be even somewhat okay with accepting help from someone else and the first example was Kirishima in the hideout raid. Y’know, that time where Izuku let someone else be the one to reach out to him no matter how much he wanted it to be him. He said it had to be Kirishima because he knew that Katsuki wouldn’t have accepted his hand. Because he never has. And still hasn’t (no, heroes rising doesn’t count until proven otherwise).

After DvK2 Katsuki became almost hyper-fixated on the fact that he’s been misunderstanding Izuku for damn near 12 years. But also after DvK2, Katsuki hasn’t been given another chance to accept Izukus hand. And yea it’s pretty sappy but it’s an important part of their relationship and Katsukis development that theoretically can happen in the vestige world but wouldn’t make sense in terms of an actual resolution (in my opinion).

II: Katsuki’s Stubbornness

Katsuki is persistent and always has been. Aizawa and All Might have pointed it out several times. He’s grownup being good at everything and at UA is when he starts to be told there’s things he can’t do. He starts to get a taste of failure and tries his best to do what he’s told his incapable of anyway. The earliest example I can think of is during the sports fest when Tsuburaba tried to block Katsuki with his solid air and Monoma’s team is like “heh he can’t break through that.”

And he did anyway.

Or final exams when he was determined to try to beat All Might. Even though he didn’t he still tried his damnedest which I think is the best example despite not winning the way he wanted to. It’s also the first time he accepts Izukus help no matter how much he doesn’t like it. (The amount of parallels from this fight to 362 is crazy when you look at it closely)(we also get a taste of the actual frustration he feels when someone tells him he can’t do something).

“We had no hope of beating you without taking a few risks.”

“Even if it messes me up, I chose this path to victory.”

(…and we call Izuku the self sacrificial one)

Seem familiar? This quotes seem oddly relevant in light of 360-362. He’ll break himself if it means he tries his best for the outcome he wants and…

Meaning: as long as he’s able, he’ll fight to win. It’s apart of his character to not go down easily. He’s simply too stubborn to and it’d be extremely unfulfilling to go down mid-fight and not get back up. Yea, he didn’t get up a second time in his final exam because he passed out but, Izuku still made sure he claimed a victory even if it wasn’t the way he wanted. Plus he didn’t need to get up a second time. Katsuki deserves a victory to actually go his way this time, not for the victory itself but to prove his own expectations of his strength. He wants to be the strongest, right?

Who is Katsuki Bakugou if not someone that lives up to their own word?

If not for himself then for Izuku. To be the person Izuku looks up to.

III: All Mights incomplete arc and Nighteyes vision

So All Might has always been one to keep secrets from most people. When Izuku found out that All Might kept the fact that Nighteye knew about OFA and didn’t like him before they even met, he was offended, remember? And offended by the fact that Mirio was supposed to be the successor that All Might was settling with. Emphasis on settling.

Nighteye made it clear that he thinks Izuku is a lousy choice in a successor because he thinks “the burning desire to help people” isn’t enough to be a suitable candidate despite the fact that that’s how All Might was metaphorically born. And he still believes that despite Izuku’s quick improvement (up until his dying moments at least, but that’s beside the point).

So theory time:

I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while I just didn’t think Katsuki would have to get so hurt for it.

Some of Nighteyes dying words was about how Izuku proved that the future can be changed but during the Chisaki battle Uraraka and Izuku also proved that it takes will and conviction to change the future. To change fate. However, All Might has already secretly accepted that he is going to die which is why he never told the foresight to Izuku.

However…

He’s fighting to live for Izukus sake. Not his own. From this point in the story, yea Izuku needs him and All Might knows that. But later, after endeavors agency arc All Mihht starts to slowly believe that Izuku doesn’t need him anymore and in Izuku’s vigilante arc, All Might starts to see his thoughts being proven correct.

“You won’t need to look back to me.”

All Might began to realize that he’s not someone Izuku needs anymore, as harsh as that sounds. He became someone Izuku sought out to protect rather than the other way around and being aware of that is frustrating for him.

The panel of All Mights response was small and on the next page so I didn’t add it but all he said was “thank you.” He didn’t go on some kind of tangent about continuing to fight to live.

He recognizes that he’s not keeping the promise he made to Inko. He’s supposed to be the one protecting and teaching Izuku but the table turned (in a more obvious way since Izuku has been the one protecting and teaching All Might in the first place). But in the same way that he recognizes himself as not being someone Izuku needs anymore, he recognizes the people that Izuku does need. I think when it comes down to protecting himself or protecting someone he knows that Izuku still needs in his life, he’d choose the latter because he’s dedicated the rest of his life to doing things for Izuku’s sake. Not his own. And who’s the person that’s been most recognizable to All Might as the most important person in Izuku’s life?

I think All Might is gonna see Katsuki on the ground and be prepared to die for him just as Katsuki was prepared to die for Izuku (ch285). It would come full circle from when he was unwilling to try to save Katsuki in chapter one until he saw Izuku go for him first.

This is where I’ll start to sound desperate but it’s a legitimate thought I’ve had for a while. All Might can still go into his muscle form. And there’s no proof that OFA is completely gone other than ‘a feeling’ All Might had in his fight in Kamino. The original theory about why All Mights vestige is still ghostly was because he’s still alive but, what if it’s because he still has shreds of OFA and since he still has it, he hasn’t become a true vestige yet? This is something I thought of way before 362 because something just never felt right about it? Why would Nighteyes vision take place after All Mights retirement?

Nighteye didn’t say he’d encounter AFO again, assuming he knows what AFO looked like and what state he was in after All Might “beat” him 6 years ago. Just like All Might was able to recognize AFO immediately, Nighteye would too.

Do you remember his run in with stain? How stain threatened to kill him for talking down on himself? Stain showed All Might that despite feeling useless, there’s still people that believe in him. And he hit him with this:

A hero only exists for the sake of others…

That’s what he’s been doing, hasn’t it? Except in the state he’s in, he can’t be a real hero anymore can he? He’s felt useless. Like a Deku.

OFA is a power all about will and love. Katsukis in trouble and Katsuki means something to Izuku so… he’ll pull through despite thinking he can’t. Just like he did here:

Yes, it’s sad. But in my brain it makes sense and it’d complete All Mights character nicely. I think he’s being brought up to often in this fight for him to sit there and continue to just watch.

I’m sure Katsuki isn’t the only person that’s realized this about Izuku and has been inspired by it. And I think All Might being able to use OFA immediately with no drawback when he got it adds a tinge of irony there.

Do I think he’ll be the one to save Katsuki? No. But I think he’s gonna “face that other villain” while someone else heals Katsuki and OFA does whatever it does. And hopefully Izuku will be there eventually to lend a hand that Katsuki can finally accept.

Also I’d like to point this out before moving on:

Beginning of the story, rain started. The beginning of this shitshow.

Right after Izuku was found by Katsuki and brought home by his classmates. All Might letting someone else protect and raise him because he knows he can’t do anything that he considers meaningful for him anymore. The rain stops. When All Mights attitude changes after Stains lecture.

Weather has a sudden change again and it’s about to rain. What if it’s All Might heading to the battle field? He accidentally caused the rain before when he protected Katsuki (ch1). So what do you think will stop the rain once it’s started? I personally think it’ll be All Might accepting his unfortunate fate and dying happy doing something he always loved doing again. Being a hero and dying a hero. Not dying as some retiree.

Anyways…

These next two points are a little more logistical.

IV: Horikoshis Writing Style

There haven’t been very many deaths in mha. But each time they died with someone they cared about around or someone that cares about them (minus midnight).

-Twice saving Toga and compress and giving back Togas Handkerchief

-not a death scene but Mirio and Tamaki using each other as crutches when they were both really injured.

-Nighteye dying in the presence of All Might, his sidekick, disciple, and the kid that changed his negative attitude about his foresight (Izuku changing the future but not dying to Chisaki).

-again not a death scene but Kirishima sacrificing himself for Mina when Gigantomachia tried to grab her.

-not a death scene again but Katsuki sacrificing himself for Izuku.

A sudden change in that pattern just wouldn’t make sense in my opinion. Katsuki taking a senseless beating and dying is inconsistent writing to me so he’s gonna get back up cuz I say so.

V: Quirk Society

There’s not much to this so I’ll get straight to the point:

Recovery Girls existence

Best Jeanist survived a massive hole in his abdomen from AFO despite not being able to be healed for damn near half an hour (and we didn’t know he was still alive for like 150 chapters). Izuku gets his shattered bones healed in minutes despite it taking months to heal that kind of injury naturally. Katsukis injury seems healable when you take the verses medical care into consideration.

In terms of strategy when it comes to this fight I think it’d be dumb to not have Recovery Girl and a medical team on standby in AFO or ShigAFOs battlefields. I’m sure there’s medical and rescue on standby at the other battle fields too for after fights but it’d be dumb not to have at least someone at the fight against the biggest threat.

VI: Parallels

This is just stuff I haven’t already pointed out

heh yea…

Half-assed Conclusion

Katsuki accepting Izukus help and Izuku potentially saving his life isn’t him being a damsel. It’s a resolution to his character and is purely his own. I don’t think any other conclusion to his character arc would be satisfying until he accepts help from Izuku. Will it kinda be a test of Izuku’s control over his heart? Maybe. Will Izuku probably go ballistic? Probably. But whatever happens with Katsuki is Katsuki’s development only (and some all might).

Idk this may be me being in denial and desperate but this last chapter kinda screwed me up and made me think about the story a lot and how weird and out of place this chapter feels. It makes me feel better to word dump and put my thoughts somewhere that isn’t my brain so. This post probably doesn’t make much sense cuz I wrote it pretty quickly. Sorry in advance I guess lmao.

I’m not talking about this anymore and I’m probably gonna take a little break from mha for a bit. I’ll still be updating my fic for anyone that’s keeping up with that but other than that I’ll be avoiding the manga for a bit which is why I won’t be talking about this subject for a while.

[ptergwen]

web of lies

take a leap. if you start to fall, the net will appear to catch you.

photographer!peter x journalist!reader || masterlist

w/c: 7.1k

warnings: swearing, one drinking mention, descriptions of anxiety, and angst if ya squint

summary: peter can’t stop holding your hands, betty and ned are the modern day bonnie and clyde, ned is a terrible guy in the chair, the osborn’s are up to something, and mj hates you all

a/n: y’all i’m super excited about this series like i haven’t had an idea i’ve really loved in months? so it’s good to be back !!! there are tons of things i have planned and i can’t wait to share them with all of you hehe i really hope you enjoy part one <3 happy reading

to be honest, which is what you do best, you’ve had a thing for peter parker your whole time at the daily bugle. you actually almost told him once.

a couple months ago, peter walked you home on a night you worked overtime. he’d came in last minute to leave some pictures on your boss’s desk. no one else but you was there, hunched at your computer in the dim office lighting. peter was pleasantly surprised to see you, yet concerned for your well-being. you had to put your finishing touches on a story.

he didn’t feel comfortable letting you travel alone at that hour. so, he went with you when you were ready. his company was more than welcomed. you told peter about your article while you two sat on the subway. he’d listened intently, your head resting on his shoulder and his arm around you. he made sure you got to your apartment building alright as well.

“hey, peter?” you’d asked, halfway up the steps. he was waiting until you were inside and safe to leave. “hm? you good?” he’d smiled sort of expectantly. “yeah. i... i wanted to say...”

your words got caught in your throat when he gave you the softest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. you couldn’t do it. for some reason, you were too scared to confess how you felt. “thanks again for walking me home,” you’d settled on. he’d seemed disappointed that was what you wanted to tell him. nevertheless, he said not to worry about it before taking off.

that one moment perfectly captures it all; how yours and peter’s narrative plays itself out.

—

“we’ve got an update on hydra v. the people!”

“those freaky giraffes escaped the zoo... again.”

“shoot one more spitball and it’ll be your last.”

“does anyone have an aspirin?”

welcome to the daily bugle, where the chaos never ends and the calm never starts. you’ll find new york’s finest writers, publishers, and creatives of all kind right here. that would include you. you’re one of the top journalists in the whole building, according to mr. norman osborn. he’s the brilliant and slightly insane man who runs this place.

although it’s rare for someone in your field, you were hired straight out of college. norman read a few pieces you’d written and loved them so much that he offered you a job. full time, full benefits, no questions asked. there was something special about the way you wove your words together. your writing had its own voice. a strong voice, one the paper was severely lacking.

you’ve been with the bugle for just over a year now. it’s not the quiet, nine to five gig you were initially expecting it to be. you’re each very unique individuals in your office, and there’s never a dull moment because of it. your coworkers can be found hosting debates on the riskiest topics or tackling each other for blueberry muffins, and that’s just a regular tuesday. the place is stranger than strange. but, it’s become home.

thanks to mr. osborn being so accommodating, you actually settled in rather quickly. another big help has been the friends you’ve made. your first was michelle jones, who prefers to be called mj. she’s a fellow journalist with a wickedly dark humor that trickles into her writing. if you had to describe her in one word, it would be blunt. mj is as real as it gets, and also eternally loyal. she keeps her circle small, so you’re honored you get to be in it.

mj sits right next to you, which means you’re always talking through your days. that’s due in part to the way your office is set up. there aren’t any cubicles, tables and swirly chairs taking up their space instead. norman heard it was more progressive, probably from his son harry.

harry is about your age, only a couple of years older. he hangs around quite a lot, but doesn’t do much with his time besides that. according to norman, he’s still seeking out his passion. he’s banking on him finding a suitable career at the bugle. he’d like to pass this all on to harry some day, hopefully sooner than later. either way, you don’t mind having harry here. he’s super funny and friendly with everyone.

there’s also ned leeds, who’s an editor and reviews most of your pieces. he’s sweeter than candy, even when he’s ripping your grammar to shreds. on the rare occasions you’re not discussing breaking news, you two talk about movies. ned is a film buff and gives you the best recommendations. you’re convinced he was a critic in his past life.

last but so from least is peter parker. he only works for the bugle part time, since he’s still in school. you both graduated from your respective colleges the same year. peter wants to get his masters degree, though. he’s a photographer who’s aspiring to be a cinematographer. him and ned have their passion for the industry in common, and that’s what makes them such great friends.

you learned this and more from the times you and peter have partnered up on stories. he’s one of your best friends not only at the bugle, but in your entire life. the many long nights you’ve spent collaborating have brought you close to each other. they consist of drinking and deep talks, along with some actual work. he takes the pictures, you do the writing. you’ve been told you make a lovely pair.

peter says it himself, too. you’d like to believe he means it as more than coworkers. he’s so caring, and smart, and pure, and peter. yeah, you like him an awful lot. you can hardly stand the feeling of it sometimes.

the fact that you you haven’t come clean already is ridiculous.

“goddamn. not again,” you mutter out. “em, you better come look at this. it’s bad.” mj wheels over to you in her chair with a puzzled look. her eyes follow yours, landing on your computer. “leeds just sent this? to everyone?” she questions, your reply a short hum. you’re both staring daggers at the email your screen displays.

ned is responsible for assigning each journalist their own topics to cover. he’s been lacking a bit recently, having you write up think pieces on fluffy things. in other words, stuff that no one cares about. he asked you to compare oat milk and almond milk just last week. you’d hoped this week would be better, but here you are.

“this is ass. who does he think we are, buzzfeed?” mj scoffs at her own words. the daily bugle prides itself on being a reliable news source, on paper and tv. you’re starting to stoop down to the low level of your competitors. “he assigned me some tiktok dance trend. i’m not writing a single word about that app.” she sets her elbows down on the table, head in her hands.

“aw, why not? grandma mj isn’t down with the kids?” you tease and click out of the upsetting email. “i don’t write for kids,” mj deadpans. she pushes her glasses up on her nose. “what’d you get?” “the evolution of memes,” you gloomily reply. you’re surprised norman has been approving these topics. then again, ned is the head editor. he can do whatever he wants regardless of approval.

mj glares over at the kitchen, where betty brant currently resides. she’s making two hot chocolates instead of her usual one. “i blame her,” mj mumbles to you. your eyebrows furrow. “dude, what? betty is an angel. she doesn’t even work in editing.” betty is the bugle’s highest rated anchorwoman. her and her news team are on people’s televisions every night.

“no, but she has been spending a generous amount of time with leeds,” mj grumbles. she’s admittedly very nosy. the upside is that she tells you any juicy office drama there is. “my theory is betty’s making him give us crap stories so she can report the good ones.” she glances over at you to see what you think. “no way. that can’t be allowed... or legal,” you laugh back.

as if on cue, ned appears next to betty in the kitchen. he takes the extra hot coco that’s piled high with whipped cream. betty tucks a sheet of paper into his suit pocket and kisses his cheek, then he’s gone. you can only gasp as you watch this unfold. what has she done to poor, clueless ned?

“not such an angel anymore, huh?” mj smirks in satisfaction. “suddenly, she has red horns and a pitchfork,” you bitterly agree with your tongue in your cheek. betty waves to you two on her way back to broadcasting. mj gives her a fake nice finger wave, you ignoring her. “we can’t sit back and let this happen, em. we have to do something,” you decide. “let’s tell norman.”

uninterested, mj takes off her glasses and starts to clean them. “like he’ll believe us. yeah, golden girl betty brant is sabotaging the writer’s room,” she rewords her previous statement to put its stupidity in perspective. you throw your hands up. “she is, though! we literally watched it happen!” mj puts her freshly wiped glasses back on and sighs.

“i doubt norman would care, y/n. every newspaper to ever exist is corrupt somehow.” your pessimistic old pal has a point. however, you’re not so willing to accept it. “why can’t we be the first one that isn’t?” you offer a small smile. mj snickers, wheeling back to her own computer. “those are words of the innocent.” she’s already tapping her fingers across the keyboard.

“i thought you weren’t doing the tiktok piece,” you say under your breath. you’re slightly pissed mj turned you down, since she’s the reason you know about betty’s meddling. “i’m not,” mj answers sharply. “i’m gonna email quentin and ask if we can change our topics. happy?” quentin beck is another editor in the building. he’s not bad, but he is intimidating. no one typically goes to him as their first option.

“i’m thrilled,” you confirm and grin at mj to emphasize it. “thanks for stepping up. you’re forgiven.” “i didn’t realize i had to be sorry,” mj notes, this time in a playful manor. she shakes her head as she begins writing. “you and your morals.”

what you value most in your career is honesty, under any circumstances. of course, the other daily bugle writers are the same. norman strictly prohibits clickbait and crazy headlines because that isn’t real news. you leave that to companies like buzzfeed. you’re honest in the sense that you say whatever has to be said, what everyone else is too afraid to. you’ll speak your truth no matter who tries to stop you.

it didn’t used to be that way. there’s some childhood trauma that remains deep in the back of your mind. you’ve left that behind you now, having over a decade to cope with it. hey, they say the past is in the past. what’s important is your takeaway, that you would never let yourself or anyone else be silenced from there on out. never again.

quentin ends up giving you the okay to write different stories. he lets you and mj choose choose your own because he’s got “better things to do” and you’re “big girls.” what a peach he is. mj goes with how capitalism is continuing to provoke global warming. she has something to say about every major world issue, and you admire the hell out of her for it.

you’re a bit stuck when it’s time to write your article. it’s terribly ironic because you pushed for this. you aren’t too worried, though. the city is crawling with material, so you’ll find what you’re looking for eventually. lucky for you, some much needed inspiration comes skipping out of the elevator.

“morning, peter,” you hear liz greet him at the front desk. she’s your floor’s receptionist. her wisdom and patience keep this place going. “hi, liz. how’s it going?” he asks. “things have been quiet... mostly. can i do anything for you?” liz peers up at him. peter sports a shy smile. “uh, yeah. mr. osborn wanted to see me?” “right. hang on.” she nods, dialing his office phone number.

it’s endearing how peter calls him mr. osborn, seeing as the rest of you go with norman. he’s probably the politest guy you’ve ever met.

grinning, liz puts down the phone. “you can go in whenever you’re ready. good luck!” peter laughs nervously and turns to leave. “thanks, you too.” his face falls when he realizes his mistake. “wait, i- i didn’t mean to say that. that was stupid. you’re not-“ “it’s fine, peter,” liz reassures him. his anxiety makes him trip over his words sometimes. that, and he’s a bit dorky in general. you find it rather adorable.

you also wonder what exactly he needs good luck for. he’s not even supposed to be working today, so your curiosity as to what’s going on has been piqued.

“um, i’m gonna go now. bye!” peter rushes off, his face tinted pink from the embarrassing encounter. you’re hoping he’ll stop and talk with you for a little while, but he heads straight to norman’s office. your whole body deflates at that. mj notices from her peripherals.

“what’s the matter? missing your hubby?” she coos, her words dripping in sarcasm. “no,” you lie. “i’m... i don’t know what to write about.” ok, there’s some truth. mj gives you a couple pats on the shoulder. “ask parker for help. you two work... well together. don’t you?” this must be the zillionth time you’ve heard that.

“we do,” you murmur and glance at norman’s closed door. peter is hidden behind it. “i just don’t wanna bug him. he has finals soon, and whatever norman is putting him up to. it’s my job, anyway.” mj pokes your arm. “those sound like excuses to me,” she concludes, still jabbing at you childishly. “you really just don’t wanna tell him you like-“

“can you keep it down?” you hiss, yanking your arm back. “he’s literally right over there.” peter stands up and shakes norman’s hand. you catch it through the blinds on his window. “y/n, you were drooling over his mere presence only minutes ago,” mj prefaces, a smile pulling at her lips. “you can handle three little words. i like you, that’s it. spit it out already.”

you’ll never admit this to mj, but she’s right. you lost your momentum after your first failed attempt to say the three little words. you’re still not sure what stopped you. you’d shared the details of that faithful night with her, and she’s been pushing you to try again since.

the door to norman’s office opens, and out walks peter. he’s beaming after their conversation, which seems like a good sign. harry passes peter on his way in to pay his dad a visit. he claps him on the shoulder, peter happily accepting before continuing his stride back into the main office. it takes a moment to register that he’s coming towards you.

you quickly set your focus back on your computer so he doesn’t think you’ve been watching him. even though, you definitely have.

“y/n!” peter calls your name. he’s on the opposite side of your table, in front of you. “peter!” you match his tone. “i was just dropping by. i thought i’d say hey while i’m here.” he’s still grinning. “what’re you doing?” he looks cute as ever in an oversized and cream colored sweater. his curls are slicked back with a tad too much product, cheeks rosy. you gaze up at him when he rests his arms on the table.

“pretending to be productive,” mj answers for you, pressing her lips together. peter cocks his head to the side. “pretending?” “ignore her. she’s being a shit stirrer today,” you explain. “like every other day,” he jokes, earning a laugh from you. mj just tuts and keeps writing. “talk about me like i’m not here,” she mumbles to herself, then gets back into her article.

“anyways, i thought you didn’t work today?” you ask to take the attention off yourself. also, because you’re curious. “oh! get this.” peter perks up even more, if that’s possible. he has energy like no other. “you know alex in broadcasting? betty’s camera guy?” “what about him?” you wonder. “he called in sick earlier this morning, with the flu or something.” he’s oddly excited to announce this. that prompts you to make a funny face.

biting back another smile, peter elaborates. “mr. osborn needed someone to fill in for him, so he picked me. i’ll be here all week.” it makes sense, since peter knows how to work a camera and does so wonderfully. you give him a celebratory push at his chest. “peter, that’s amazing! this is the perfect way to transition from pictures to film, right?” he’s nearing his finals at school, which consist of more movie-like projects. the news will be great practice.

then, he’s off to hollywood. you’ll put that out of your mind for now.

“exactly! i think it’ll be a good place to start. the pay isn’t bad either.” peter wiggles his eyebrows at you, you giggling once again. you do a lot of that when he’s around. that’s going to be more often now. “plus, i get to see you. everyone wins.” he squeezes your hand that was just on him. your heart begins to thump. “except alex,” you challenge, playing with his fingers. “but, for real. i’m happy you get to do this and that we’ll be spending more time together.”

“thanks, y/n/n. me too.” peter grins and leans over, taking a peek at your computer screen. there’s a blank word document on it. “you never told me what you’re up to,” he chuckles. “guess mj was right... nothing.” “i’m always right,” she chimes in from next to you. you look between the two of them with a scowl. “i haven’t found my story yet. i don’t know, this never happens.” peter nods as you share your dilemma. “no good ideas are coming to me,” you murmur.

“they will. you have a way of attracting things.” he licks his lower lip, your heart completely stopping this time. “well, i gotta go set up for rise and shine with betty brant.” he waves his hand like he’s presenting his words. that’s what betty calls her morning news segment. “be careful with her. she’s being really sketchy these days,” you warn peter, mj grunting in agreement.

confused, peter purses his lips. “really? ned says she’s a sweetheart. they’ve been going out for a while.” mj pops her head up and adjusts her glasses. “did ned also tell you she’s bribing him to give her all of our scoops?” she’s asking rhetorically because she already knows the answer. of course he didn’t. “it’s one thing to not like her. you’re just making things up now,” peter huffs.

mj kicks your foot under the table. “i told you no one would believe us. not even peter gullible parker.” “it’s benjamin,” he corrects her. “whatever,” she brushes it off, resuming her work.

peter does tend to be sort of naive, to only see the good in things when there’s plenty of bad. you’re the same in that way, unless you hang around mj for too long.

“is that true? betty’s stealing your stories?” peter turns to you and asks. you gesture to your screen. “i don’t have one, so you do the math.” he hums sympathetically. he’ll listen to you, never mj. “i’m sorry. thanks for telling me, y/n. i’ll watch out for her.” he bends his fingers to look like goggles, putting them around his eyes. you sigh lightheartedly.

“are you twenty two years old or twelve?” mj remarks, but not without a comeback from peter. “you’re, like, eighty five. worry about that.” they’ve had this type of banter for as long as you’ve known them. it’s equal parts amusing and exhausting. “don’t be late on your first day.” you snap peter out of it with a knowing smile. he returns it.

“i hope something crazy happens so you can write about it.” he’s walking backwards now, towards the elevator. “see you later, pete,” is all you say back, yet another laugh threatening to escape you. “see you. bye, michelle,” peter says just to bug her. “it’s mj,” she groans without looking up. he shrugs. “not so fun, is it?”

after peter is gone, you try to get back into work. or rather, you try to start your work. what he said about you having a way of attracting things keeps ringing in your head. was he flirting? no, he couldn’t have been. peter parker doesn’t flirt. words aren’t his strong suit, and you have countless memories that prove this to be true. earlier with liz, for example.

you’re probably reading way into this. peter was simply doing what any good friend would do and gave you advice.

it’s late in the afternoon when anything worth mentioning happens again. peter is still with betty, as far as you know. they’re probably preparing for the nighttime news now. all you’ve done since seeing him is nibble on snacks and bug mj, who’s almost done with her story despite your distractions. this is really bad, considering your deadline to submit is at the end of today.

you’ve never missed a deadline.

mj emails her work to quentin while you repeatedly bang your head on the table. she hits send before deciding to entertain you. “whatcha doing over there?” she cautiously prompts, powering off her computer. “trying to get an idea. i’m desperate, if you couldn’t tell.” your voice is muffled. “i could.” mj grabs your shoulders and pulls you back so you’re sitting up. you childishly pout.

“y/n, the only thing that’s gonna give you is brain damage,” mj says sternly, then softens her tone. “why don’t you ask for an extension? norman gives me them all the time.” whining, you slump down in your chair again. “yeah, but you’re you! we do things differently, have different expectations put on us.” she’s back to cold mj after you say that. “alright. at least i did something today besides pine over that little-“

mj’s insult for peter is interrupted by harry. “ladies, what’s shaking?” he comes up to you two with a the hint of smirk on his face. you manage a nod to acknowledge him. “oh, hey... harry,” mj unenthusiastically replies. she’s the one person who isn’t really a fan of him. “not much. y/n was just having a tantrum.” “she was not,” you dismiss her. “it’s work stuff. you know your dad.”

harry clicks his tongue in a teasing way. “yep, the grind never stops in this joint. boss man is...” he does the sign for cuckoo with his finger. you laugh a little at that. “in a good way,” you add on. mj only watches you two, blinking blankly. harry gives you a definitive pat on the back. “before i forget, he wants to see you.” that gets mj talking. “norman?” she questions. “your dad?” you choke out at the same time.

“who else? he said you two have to talk.” harry flashes you a weary smile. “have fun in there, old sport.” you’re too busy biting the skin off your bottom lip to respond. “mhm... she will,” mj speaks on your behalf. even she sounds worried. saluting you both, harry leaves to go pester your other colleagues. you’re completely and totally fucked.

“that’s it for me!” you grin sarcastically, freaked out by harry. “i’m fired, aren’t i? i’m definitely about to get fired, and it’s all because-“ “relax!” mj cuts off your rambling. she reaches down and grasps at your wrists. “get it together, y/l/n. you’re the best we have, okay? you aren’t going anywhere.” your grin becomes a frown. “then why does norman wanna talk to me? and, why don’t i have a story?”

mj always has the answers, but this time is the execption. she lets out a breath. “i don’t know. you’ll go find out and tell me what happens.” there’s no use protesting. you’re going to have to face whatever you’re about to at some point. “ok,” you give in, defeated. “i’ll be back soon, i hope.”

the walk to norman’s office feels like a walk of shame. mj can do nothing but sit back and observe it. if this ends the way you think it will, you’ll be collecting your things and won’t ever return. norman is a kind man, and he’s usually pretty understanding. he doesn’t mind the workplace shenanigans as long as you get your job done. unfortunately, you haven’t today.

you hear your boss’s booming voice when you approach his door. inhaling deep, you knock on it, and the room goes silent. “come in,” norman responds after a few seconds. mustering up a smile, you open the door to be met with your doom. “hi, am i interrupting something?” you check. “not at all! you’re just the person i wanted to see. sit, sit,” he beckons you over. he’s not using his angry voice, so maybe you’re in the clear. you enter the room as told.

you’re shocked to see a terrified peter is already in one of the chairs. he visibly relaxes a bit now that you’re here. what the hell is happening? whatever you were expecting, this was the last thing.

taking the armchair next to peter, you sit facing norman’s desk. you nudge his arm to get his attention. his big brown eyes lock with yours. “what’s going on?” you whisper. “no idea,” peter whispers back. the two of you turn to norman again when he claps his hands. he’s plopped down into his cushy leather seat.

“so,” he begins, gaze flicking from peter to you. “you kids know why you’re here?” “is it because i missed my deadline?” you blurt out. you’re once again a nervous wreck. peter doesn’t speak, just winces. “not that. although, i did hear from ned that you turned down his assignment.” norman flicks at a post-it on his desk. “i asked quentin for one instead. me and mj,” you explain, peter’s eyes going wide.

“you talked to quentin? that guy’s bad news,” he murmurs to you. “how so?” norman questions, since it’s his employee. “he- he, um,” peter clears his throat before answering, “he’s super critical, you know? hates all my pictures.” “i love your pictures,” you assure him, the corners of his lips turning up. “your style is so cool. yeah, though. quentin’s pretty bitter.”

considering this, norman drums his fingers on the desk. “i’ll look into that. but, that isn’t why you’re here. i’m letting you off the hook this time.” your whole demeanor changes and a huge weight lifts off of you. “really? you are?” “i have a scoop of my own that i want you to cover,” he continues, peter bumping your knee happily. a toothy grin takes over your face.

“since peter will be sticking around for a while, i want him to join you.” norman waits a beat in case you have any questions. it’s been a minute since you last worked together. peter laughs in disbelief. “you want me to take over for alex and do this?” norman nods proudly. “y/n will need the extra hands, if you have them.” “yes, sir. i do,” peter immediately confirms. “my last class is next thursday, so i have the time.”

“wait, so you’re almost done? that’s awesome!” you bump peter’s knee this time. “yup, all that’s left is finals... and studying.” he mindlessly takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. you’re enjoying his gentle touches. “thank you so much, norman. seriously, i appreciate this a lot,” you tell him and mean it. “hey, no problem,” he chuckles at your eagerness. you grip peter’s hand tighter.

“what’s the story?” “ah, yes. the most important part,” norman starts, peter sharing an excited look with you. “how familiar are you two with spider-man?” his excitement fades at the question posed. it’s unbeknownst to you, caught up in the moment. “uh, same as everyone else, i guess,” you casually reply. “how come?” “he’s your subject.” norman points at you both. “you’re gonna study him over these next few months.”

peter’s hand goes limp in yours, and he gulps hard, throat feeling dry. “you mean, like, an exposé?” “no, no. there will be no exposing,” norman clarifies. “i’m sure he wears the mask for a reason.” that settles peter only slightly. you’re not sure why he’s so tense all of a sudden. “what’s our aim here, then?” you steer the conversation.

“see what new york’s favorite hero gets up to every day, how his life is beyond the crime fighting,” norman further describes your task. peter exhales a shaky breath, shifting away from you in his seat. the golden sun hits his face and reveals a bead of sweat dripping down it. you stare at his figure in worry. “you okay, peter?” “fine. i’m just... hot,” he murmurs back. his sweater does look pretty heavy, so you concede.

getting back to norman’s story, you grimace at the idea. “do you really think people will want to read that? for lack of a better term, it sounds kind of...” you pause. “basic.” “i thought the same thing at first,” he surprisingly agrees with you. “harry pitched the idea to me this morning. you won’t believe it! the other night, he caught spider-man hanging outside his window.”

“harry... harry saw him?” peter squeaks out. he uses the wool material that feels like it’s swallowing him to dab at his forehead. “he stopped on his balcony. must have been pretty late, the kid’s a night owl,” norman says about his son. your face lights up as you listen to him. “he took some shots of spidey in action, when he swung off. i saw a few. they were pretty great.” he’s grinning at his son’s success.

“maybe he’ll get into photography with you, pete,” norman suggests. peter gives him a weak smile in return. “we’d be happy to have him.” he usually has a lot more to say about his career than that. his behavior is starting to genuinely concern you. “anyway,” norman gets back on topic, “it got me thinking. how much do we really know about this guy? we’re supposed to blindly put our trust in him?”

you’re beginning to see the appeal now. you’ve written your share of pieces on the avengers and their methods, tackling the same questions norman just asked you. spider-man shouldn’t be overlooked, especially when he operates so close to your home. this could be another revolutionary superhero story in the making. and, you get to bring peter along for the ride.

“you know what? this has a lot of potential,” you smile at norman, then peter. he has his phone in his lap, fingers flying across the screen. it must be something important. you’ll discuss with norman while he takes care of that. “we could make it a weekly thing, about spider-man’s adventures. find out what we can about the man behind the mask...” peter shoots up in his seat. “without taking it off,” you finish, putting his mind at ease.

“see, i knew you were gonna love it! it was a blessing in disguise, you missing that deadline.” norman bangs his fist on the table with a hearty laugh. “what do you say, peter? you still in?” peter slips his phone back in his pocket. his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “oh, of course. i can’t wait to work with you, y/n/n,” he speaks in a monotone voice, adding on, “again.”

something is definitely bothering him, and it isn’t the weather.

“i gotta go. betty needs me upstairs, so,” peter moves to get up, his body stiff. you assume that’s who he was texting. “thank you again, mr. osborn.” he’s rushing out of the room just like that, until you call after him. “um, don’t you wanna set a time to meet up? so we can get started?” you reasonably ask. “i... i really gotta go. find me later,” peter tells you, giving you both a tight lipped smile and running off.

“the dynamic duo is back!” norman announces to you. you’re disappointed you can’t share that sentiment with peter.

he’s absolutely booking it down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the next elevator. this is bad. this is a nightmare.

peter went from having one of his best days in a while to the worst in not even a full round of work. today started off fine, and got better when norman promoted him. it got way better when you came along. he saw your smile that makes his insides tingle, heard your laugh that’s the prettiest sound to grace his ears, held your hand that he never wants let go.

things went a bit downhill after that. betty was pushy and yelled at him a lot, demanding he only film her good angles for the segment. you and mj weren’t wrong when you told him to be careful.

later on when he saw you again, everything was okay. he was physically shaking as brad told him mr. osborn requested to see him. brad is mr. osborn’s assistant. a try-hard for sure, but good at his job. why did mr. osborn call him in? did betty complain already?

they’d been sitting in mostly silence, save for small talk until you came knocking on the door. simply being next to you was enough to ground peter and his racing thoughts. it was enough, then it wasn’t.

the whole day had gone to shit after he found out you were going to be writing stories about his alter ego. not only that, but he was helping. during the pitch, he’d texted ned to meet him in the bathroom. he was really anxious and needed a friend who understood why.

ned accidentally found out peter is spider-man last year. it’s a long story that involves peter hiding from some bad guys in the building and ned shrieking so loud the lights flickered. they’re cool now that peter talked things through with him. his secret has been kept, from what he knows.

pushing open the men’s bathroom door, peter is a mixture of sweat and ragged breaths. he’s panting from his fast descent down the staircase. he takes in his disheveled appearance using one of the mirrors. his styled hair is now damp and undone, hands trembling and palms sweaty, chest heaving. here’s his daily reminder that anxiety is not cute. as if he didn’t know.

his stupid, gigantic freaking sweater is only making things worse. it’s suffocating him. no one else is in here, so peter pulls it over his head and tosses it to the ground. he’s got a t-shirt on underneath that happens to be black. what a convenient day for him to wear the hottest material there is.

peter splashes his face with some cold water next to try and cool himself down. that doesn’t do much for him. his face still feels like it’s on fire, but now it’s wet. he takes his hands through his mop of curls, backing away from the sink.

“fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck,” peter repeats to himself. he’s silent for a moment, then rage overcomes him. he kicks open a bathroom stall. “shit! i can’t do this. what am i supposed to-“

the door creeks open, so peter shuts up in case it isn’t ned. it thankfully is, and he wears a deep frown at the sight of his best friend. “dude, what happened? you look...” “terrible. i know,” peter finishes for him. he tugs at his locks in another attempt to tame them. ned approaches him carefully. “you’re not, like, dying... are you? because betty was telling me you have to-“ “of course you were with betty,” peter exhales in frustration. “no, ned. i’m not dying.”

in ned’s defense, the text he received was very alarming. all peter wrote was, ‘EMERGENCY. SOS.’

“i mean, yeah. it was my break.” ned sits on the ledge by the window, close to peter. “you do the same with y/n.” the mention of your name upsets peter all over again. he hides his face in his hands as ned watches. “if you’re not dying, then what’s the problem?” ned finally asks. “me and y/n...” peter removes his hands from his face, meeting ned’s worried eyes. “mr. osborn wants us to do a project together.”

“uh, peter? you’ve been saying how much you miss her forever, dude! you’re not excited?” ned snorts at him. he means well, but he has no clue what he’s talking about. “no. it’s supposed to be about spider-man,” peter answers angrily. this isn’t the support he was hoping for. realizing the severity of the situation, ned gets serious.

“oh... but, you’re still doing it?” he questions. “i didn’t have a choice,” peter scoffs out. “i can’t let either of them down.” “you’ll expose yourself!” ned escalates things further. “it’s not like that. we’re gonna follow spider-man around and post updates on him,” peter says, technically in the third person. he’s given an are you insane? look from ned.

“you are spider-man! and, no offense, but you’re not so good at hiding it,” ned refers to himself finding out. “how are you gonna be in two places at once?” damnit, peter hadn’t thought about that yet. he can’t be taking pictures of spider-man and swinging from building to building simultaneously. “i- i’ll figure it out,” peter stammers, unconvincingly.

ned looks him over in a disapproving way. “jeez. you’re really putting your life on the line for this girl-“ “woman,” peter interjects, not loving ned’s attitude towards you. “have some respect.” unfazed, ned gets up from the windowsill. “speaking of women, remember betty? you’re still on the clock,” he changes the subject. peter nearly forgot he has to go film her segment.

“i’ll head up to her now,” peter gives in. he scoops up his discarded sweater, not bothering to check his appearance again. ned follows behind him to the door. “we wrote her script together, you know,” he gladly informs peter, who already knows from you. “not really a flex,” peter mumbles his response. “peter, lighten up.” ned hits at his shoulder. the two of them exit the bathroom.

“you’ll figure this out later. i can always help.” he shoots him a sugary sweet smile. “thanks, ned. for talking with me and everything.” peter doesn’t smile back. they do a quick bro handshake, then they’re going their separate ways. “have a good show, dude!” ned yells back, to which he doesn’t get a response. peter doesn’t have it in him.

he allows himself to take the elevator back up to broadcasting. he’s so drained from the several anxiety attacks he endured. while peter waists for the elevator, he contemplates all the issues he’d better solve. it’s a relief to hear it ding because it brings him back to earth. that doesn’t last long because both you and betty are there when the door opens.

you’d each had the same idea, to find peter. unlike betty, your intentions were good. you asked liz if she saw peter leave. she told you he went downstairs, so you did also. betty was already in the elevator when it got to your stop. she was looking for him because, you guessed it, he had to record the news. the small space was filled with tension as you and betty occupied it.

“perfect. we’re going right back up,” betty beams, motioning for peter with her index finger. “hop in!” “coming,” peter does as told, going to stand between you and betty. she presses the button for your floor and theirs. the doors close. “pete?” you speak up, voice soft. “you kinda ran off earlier. i thought you were with betty.” “clearly, he wasn’t,” betty sneers.

you’re less concerned with her and more with peter. the sweater he looked so huggable in is now folded in his arms, his face splotchy and jaw clenched. he must have gotten triggered by something back in norman’s office.

“are you sure you’re okay? you... you can talk to me about it.” you take a step closer to peter, your doe eyes searching for his. he meets them with a tiny smile. at least, it’s real this time. “i’ll be fine, y/n/n. ‘s nice that you came to check on me, though.” “don’t mention it.” your arms loop around his neck and bring him into a hug. peter hugs you back by your middle, chin resting on your shoulder, breathing out in relief.

you keep your hands on his shoulders when you pull back. his stay on your sides, a lopsided grin now crossing his features. “spider-man...” you quirk an eyebrow. “how are you feeling about that?” “should be cool,” peter somehow maintains himself. “i’m mostly looking forward to doing it with you.”

listening in, betty joins the conversation. “what’s happening with spider-man? anything i should know?” her hand reaches into her bag and emerges with a notepad. does she ever think of her own content? “she’s nothing if not persistent,” you grumble to peter. chuckling, he pulls you into his chest. if he didn’t hold you back, you would’ve pounced on her.

“we’re gonna do a piece on him,” peter tells her. “you can’t copy or steal this one because it’s already been approved,” you contribute, smiling smugly as peter holds you tighter. betty is taken aback. “are you accusing me of stealing? who said i-“ “ned ratted on you... sorry,” peter says in a sing song voice. squealing, you jump away from him. “he did? we were right?”

“mj’s never wrong,” he reiterates. “mj knew about this? oh my god, i can’t believe her!” betty stomps her foot. “we got you on candid camera.” you make a clicking noise with your mouth. peter mimes taking a picture to back you up. “alright, alright. i won’t do it again,” betty mumbles, turning away from you two in annoyance.

“finally!” you hold up your hand for a high five, which peter gives you. “we really do make the best team,” he hums. your fingers intertwine with peter’s, and he lays his palm flat against yours. he prays extremely hard you don’t notice that it’s sweaty. you do, but you couldn’t care less.

“i was wondering when you’d wanna start our... research?” peter asks you, his lip between his teeth. “you were saying something earlier. maybe we could make a schedule.” “how elaborate of us that would be,” you tease. that earns a breathy laugh from peter. with a knowing smile, you put your free hand back on his shoulder.

“what are you doing tonight?”

-

peter parker taglist

@saturnpeter @tpwk-grande @itstaskeen @missyouhollnd @becicamina @dummiesshort @zspideyy @watchitimreadinghere @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @dpaccione @karispotters11 @theofficialzivadavid @thehumanistsdiary @kelieah @aayaissaa @petersgroupie @annab-nana @tayyx @swtltlmrvlgrl @magicalxdaydream @haoluvver @kjune113 @captainamirica @marvel-dork98 @emmastarz @killingbxys @viriditie @misshale21 @veryholland @liliswifts @tommydarlings @rebelemilu @peterspideysense @cr-uelsummer @dreamy-clousds @quaksonhehe @quxxnxfhxll @blackbat2020 @babyblue19 @falconxbarnes @zachary-s @dirtytissuebox @dracoswhore007 @heavenlyholland @thsquad @etheralholland @dhtomholland @awh-lilies @tomshufflepuff @multifamdomfan12

-

if i forgot you please lmk!

[bsdndprplplld]

8 V 2022

I am on my way home from a math conference, the first one in which I participated actively – I prepaired the talk about the Borsuk-Ulam theorem

my lecture was centered around the connection between the classic "continuous" BUT and its combinatorial analog: Tucker's lemma

I wanted to talk about this because I was amazed at how cool and "versatile" this theorem is. there is a whole book about its applications and generalizations, which is btw very well-written, I highly encourage everyone to read it:

my presentation went well, although after practicing it for about a week the topic seemed really fucking boring to me, no wonder

other than that I have another recommendation to make. do you also hate how messy multivariable calculus is? I do. calculations and technical definitions everywhere, and at the end everything comes down to calculating the determinant of some jacobian. bluh. I stumbled upon a book that describes everything from a sort of algebraic perspective, smells a little bit like category theory too. very clean, very satisfying to read:

I have been studying covering spaces recently and I can give some dope motivation for learning about the structure induced by the covering mapping:

I will never forget that the homomorphism induced by the covering projection is injective

that would be it for my mathemathical life. my personal life, which is still closely connected to math, brings me some psychological progress. I no longer get stuck in loops of "oh I'm so bad at math. maybe I'm not? I got a good grade from X. ah but I got a shit grade afterwards". it might be because I didn't fall on my face for a while now, only decent grades, good ideas, a good presentation, this is correct. but I also do not negotiate with myself that this is supposed to be proof that I'm good enough, I just stopped paying attention to these and focused on math instead. and paradoxically when I stopped caring about being good at math I was rewarded with getting better at math???

a coincidence,

a pleasant one, nonetheless.

anyway I will have to take a fall at some point, unavoidable. and it will be the final test of my progress, becauase I used to get very elevated in my sense of self-worth after receiving a single good grade among trash ones and now I'm just ok. not the god, just ok. but back then, at some point I would no longer be god, I would get smacked in the face by some "proof that I'm actually trash" and that would be a fall from a significant altitude. so I'm hoping that the fall will also be less painful now

I think the biggest change I made was giving up, I abandoned all hope. nooow here is the moment when people interrupt me with "nooo that's horrible don't give up you're a great person you just have to notice that"

fuck off you don't understand shit

I'm doing better now precisely because I stopped hoping that one day I'll stop feeling worthless, that one day something great will happen that will prove once and for all that I'm meant for something great. I can't stand this anymore, I am disgusted by the fact that deep down I still believe that I'm supposed to be the best and that I can't enjoy anything unless I am winning. I want to puke when I'm reminded that everything I do serves the purpose of winning the negotiations I have with myself about what my actual value is

my self-hatred runs much deeper now than ever before and I have no more patience for self-victimization, no more room for "allowing myself to feel". fuck off, all I feel is rage. I want to be able to do things without the prospect of a reward, my goal is to enjoy things, not the sense of being good at doing things

so that's what I'm doing, I made peace with the fact that I will probably never feel good about myself and that I have no chance at achieving the greatness I crave. and I must say I started respecting myself more, turns out I am actually able to do things without the promise of being the best at them, the vision of bringing value to the world motivates me. and fuck the western culture with its oh you must love yourself you are a great person. no, you don't have to do that and you have no way of knowing what kind of person you are, nobody has ever defined it in a strict formal sense, people just use this phrase to trigger the feel-good in others

I am aware that all of this sounds really bad, but I don't care, it works. and my math will be better like that because now that I stopped crying over being trash I have more time to study

I just hope that the fall won't be as painful

[thetaekookcloset]

I was reading your old posts and one anon talked about business strategy behind bighit like they deliberately do things to share narrative for particular things. So I went to look at last year's Run episodes and I found it to be so true! Last episode is so much scripted in terms of sitting arrangement, what clips will be shown, which people will be in frame at what point. I am surprised I never noticed this. I am ot7 and my bias is Jimin (he is my mochi 💜) but surprisingly rise in taekook content made me search for them and I stumbled on your blog. I never knew they were close. In the beginning, yes but I thought they aren't close anymore.

Well so I looked at last 3 Run episodes and I saw how three ships were subtly incorporated in the show. Jikook, Vmin and Taejin. Nothing was over the top just the choice of clips like v kissing Jin (v said of course army will like this thing). I was expecting v and jungkook's clip when they were in water park hanging and jimin laughing in background because it's so famous. You can always see it all over internet.

Another thing I noticed was seating arrangement and taekook scene cuts. Like in third last epi when they are singing karaoke v and jungkook stand with V's hand on jungkook's shoulder and then you will see them going back to their seats like someone told them or they changed their mind. In last two episodes they never sat together even though there were a lot of chances (not counting when V sprawled at the edge of the couch). I also saw at one point V approaching to sit where jikook were sitting but at next second V is sitting across the couch. I thought they didn't want to put ships with high tension together but looking at how jungkook's and jimin's cute interaction were captured. I am not sure what to think anymore.

Additionally, in Karaoke episode Jungkook would not help V until he saw V was losing points too much but ready to help others so easily. I am not sure what exactly is their bond. Anyone looking at official content will feel they are not close. In fact if I have to rate ppl close to Jungkook, I would go by this rank- Jimin, Jin, J-Hope, sometimes RM or V and then Suga. Yet looking at behind the scenes I am unable to come to a conclusion. I won't go as far to say to say V and jungkook are in relationship or has the best bond but all these cuts and deliberate placements by bighit is sure raising my eyebrows.

If you don't mind I'll be going through your blog silently and I really appreciate your answering approach.

Of course I don’t mind at all!  I hope the blog is a good resource for you if you decide this is a topic you’re interested in and want to keep digging around in.  We have a lot of great discussions here.

One thing that I personally feel pretty strongly about is consuming content -- any content, BTS or otherwise -- with a critical lens.  Anything created for consumption by others is going to have some sort of intention behind it.  Usually at least part of that intention is to communicate something to the viewer.  People like patterns and stories; we’re very susceptible to narrative, and narrative is a good tool to achieve goals where people are concerned.

I’m generally not one to claim any big conspiracy theories where Big Hit is concerned, but it’s only common sense, in my opinion, that as a corporation with money on the line, they’re going to craft specific narratives to give consumers the impressions that will encourage them to spend more money, without taking too many risks.  They use shows like Run BTS, Bon Voyage, and In the Soop at least partially to do that.

In any case, I definitely agree that there are some eyebrow-raising moments in official content where Taehyung and Jungkook are concerned.  If you do decide to keep poking around on this topic, you’ll likely come across a lot of content that doesn’t come from Big Hit, and you’ll be able to draw more of your own conclusions from there.

Thank you so much for sharing your observations, and feel free to shoot me an ask anytime you like!

[kanmom51]

The members just fueled the sheep today by screaming when Tae and JK touched. What was that? Why did they feel that was cute to do? That was strange and odd, unless TK are dating. Either way, it was enough fuel to send them over the edge and now the are 100% convinced they're real and the members support them. Don't even get me started on the hate JM got today, accusing him of purposely ruining a TK moment and inserting himself. I no longer think Jikook are real after today cause of the members.

Ask 2/ I find the members screams when TK touched today pretty sus and Jimin's face, although he smiled, seems he was caught off guard and Tae sticking his tongue out to JK before it happened. If Jikook are dating, I feel that was pretty disrespectful. For members to encourage a flirty moment between two other members, if that said member is already in a relationship. Its the first time I have ever wondered about TK and that makes me feel so bad. Not because I have a problem with it, but because of JM.

Ask 3/ Whoever said Jinmin are dating are probably right. After today, there is no way Jikook are dating. The member would not yell and cheer on Tae/kook like that if they were in a relationship with someone else. Jin photobombed JM's selfie with a heart. And JM is struggling with TK lately and it shows. I think Jikook were very much dating and real, but this past year its not been the same. Saying JM is sexy does not equal dating, they all that. However JM getting pissy over TK says a lot. Jealous ex.

Ask 4/ People think something isn't off with Jikook, when JM has shown lately he is uncomfortable with Tae and JK getting close. At Muster JK puts his arm around Tae and JM purposely gets between them. Today Tae gets a little too close to JK and JM purposely makes a moment with Tae. JM is never jealous over JK unless Tae is involved. So that tells me JM is dating either JK or Tae and TK are getting a little to real for JM's liking. I personally don't think JM is dating JK anymore. I think it's Tae.

So, as you can see I have received a few asks on this subject. The new PTD dance practice clip released yesterday.

Let's start by seeing exactly what this 'moment' everyone is screaming about between JK&Tae that the other members were supposedly going crazy about.

First off, all the members seem to be really having a good time here. It seems like everyone is in a good mood and there are plenty of interactions between the members that have gone unnoticed, because everyone's eyes are on Vminkook.

Second, this is a 3 min. clip of a dance practice. This is most likely a one shot clip (not edited), but, and here is the big but, this isn't a one time practice. Meaning, the members weren't flown into the dance studio to do this one take, shoot it and leave. The members arrived at the studio, interacted, most likely rehearsed the dance several times before shooting this clip, if this was the first take, because it is also likely that there were a few takes of which they chose the one to upload.

What is the importance of this long winded explanation?

To explain that the members do not perform in a vacuum. That the interactions between them during these clips are not detached from everything that was going on prior to this take.

And again, why is this important?

Because when you look at that interaction between Tae&JK it's really absolutely NOTHING what so ever.

This is the point the cheers come in.

Now, as I see it those cheers can be one of two things:

Either something went on prior to this shot, maybe in the rehearsal or a previous shot that Tae putting his hand on JK's shoulder caused this reaction. Idk, maybe something they talked about or something one of those three did before, who knows.

Or, the members that are pretty hyped up, as I mentioned, they seem to be having a great time, were hyping up and enjoying this part of the choreo, the makne line doing their thing.

Either explanations are possible.

This isn't Tae being flirty. As a matter of fact, at this point neither Tae nor JK are being flirty.

JM, though, he is sure enjoying his view of JK.

As for JM's hand, that was a bit of an oopsy there, which he pretty much immediately fixed. No, he wasn't going for the bundle, he was going for the hip.

This isn't our first dance practice rodeo. We know they can go rogue during these practices, letting go, enjoying themselves, and this is what we have here too.

No dramas, no intrigues, nothing of that sort.

I will say this for the millionth time. BTS are human beings. I can't believe I actually spilled the beans here. Yes, they are people like you and me, well maybe not exactly like you and me, seeing they are multimillionaire idols, but you get the idea.

They are not fictional characters in a novel or a Telenovela or K-drama. These are real human beings with real human being feelings. And why do I have to keep repeating this?

Well, it seems some fans think that being in a band and famous makes you out to be promiscuous or able to change your partner/boyfriend like a pair of socks. Or that within a band of 7 members if there would be such change of guard (meaning them changing partners around) that they would continue to be on such good terms with each other or be able to even look at each other, let alone keep on working for so many years with each other.

If Vminkook were in this real K-drama love triangle there would be soooo many behaviours that would have to be explained away and that don't make any kind of sense.

Let's start by them all being friends and on good terms. In what universe would this be if two members in this triangle were fighting over the heart of the third? Either V & JK fighting for JM's heart or JK&JM fighting for V's heart or JM&V fighting for JK's heart?

Then we have Vmin's relationship. Declared soulmates. How would that fit in to this mess, especially if JM&V are supposedly after JK? Wouldn't there be a rivalry here, not a close intimate friendship?

And JK&JM being close and inseparable, how does that fit into the story line?

JM practically pushing JK to sit down and talk with V ITS - how does that fit in?

Them all being cheery, happy, smiley, lovey dovey with each other. How does that fit in?

And there is so much more there that just doesn't make sense if you are into this type of storyline.

If things have changed recently, as some of the asks claim. If JM & JK are over and now it's the time of JK & Tae, how is it that the dynamics between these three hasn't changed? That JM is still all smiley and happy towards Tae, who has supposedly hooked up with his ex? The same Tae that JM pushed JK to talk to during ITS?

You know, even if couples split up, there is residue. There are feelings left, good or bad (longing or anger or hate or sadness). There is never indifference, especially a long term relationship ending. So, if that is the case, if the couple has split, if a new relationship is budding, how is that one member in that triangle, be it JK or JM, so indifferent, accepting, happy & laughing and overall ok with what is going on?

When a long term relationship ends do you think moving on is something you do immediately? Especially with one of your ex's best friends?

JM, JK and Tae are not plastic characters in a soap opera. This isn't Brook or Ridge or Taylor that have been married and divorced so many times I lose count, moving back and forth between those relationships. That isn't real life. And JK/JM/Tae are real people living real lives.

So, believe what you may, that Taekook are real, or that Vmin are real or Jikook are real (you know where I stand on that). But don't flip flop between them or don't make up these illogical theories about them moving in between relationships. Beyond it being fictional it is disrespectful to all three of them.

This sums up this topic for now.  Any other asks sent about this clip or change in JM’s behaviour or Jikook breakup etc. will go unanswered.

[jojotichakorn]

Heyo

Hope the past days have been treating you well :) If they haven't, I manifest good times for you from now on.

Just a small thought, I know that everyone is v curious, including me on the conflict that caused the whole enemies situation in the first place. And it could very well be something quite major, as I've said (and now seen because actual shots fired /j) P'Aof likes to commit to rather heavy topics. But....if they want to keep on the R+J parallels....

It could very well be actually nothing. Legit he said, she said, they said, we said nonsense that never happened. The next episode has Pat and Pran legitimately Scooby-dooing the reason for the whole rivalry, sending them to their high school I think as well (Which could tie in with the anon's suggestion about singing the song on the stage to completion) and no-one knows what it's about. And it makes sense, cause you'd think that both sides would genuinely bring up what each other did wrong to snipe and one-up each other. The ways that I can personally see being the reason why it hasn't been brought up (apart from screen-writing reasons, which is also a apt reason, but this is a show that's better then that in my opinion) is either it's so deep that they hid it, or it's so old and vague that other things cover it up.

So, keeping the no breakup notion strong, alive and well like we've been manifesting, makes the possibility (actuality) of overcoming such petty hate and awful attitudes that much better, because either way the boys and Paa are shown to be better than their parents. Through either forgiveness and love, or through sheer maturity. Your thoughts, my dear Archer?

The roundtable is all-inclusive to everyone, at all times. I apologise if anyone felt that the notion was excluding in any way. That type of shite does not stand or belong in this beautiful community. You are all wonderful and have brilliant ideas and I absolutely love reading through them.

Song rec anon, you are a gift and your songs are truly masterpieces of association.

Unreliable anon, you bring creativity and perspective to things I could never think about, and some worthy chaos :D

Operanon, still trying to keep up with your pun-intentional wordplay, and you have a fantastic mind. You are Pran-tastic!

Star anon, another giver of lovely ideas and fantastic notions. Always love reading your questions, no matter how controversial you think they are. You're awesome :)

New Anon, it's wonderful that you've found lovely content because of Archer. You pose great questions and I hope you find more good ones!

Virgo Anon, your starsign proposals are lovely to read and in my opinion, v accurate. I'm really glad you love it here, can't wait to discuss more things with you. I raise you this, starsigns for the friend groups now? (I also ask Archer, please?)

Lost Anon, I hope you aren't lost anymore! Your trans headcanons were delightful to read and to quote Archer: quite galaxy-brained.

I don't know if anyone needs this over the past holiday week, but you're all magnificent and deserve the world.

As do you entirely Archer :D

Now, as I leave, I gift you the possibility of Paa either having or adopting a beautiful child, and the absolute tooth-ache inducing idea of Uncle Pat and Pran spoiling the ever-loving frick out of their niece/nephew.

Reliable Anon ):)

heyy, dearest reliable anon!! thank u so much, i hope ur doing well <3

as for your theory, i think it is indeed very interesting!! in this case, i suppose the explanation for why specifically pat's father and pran's mother hate each other so much is because they are from the rival families, while pat's mother and pran's father married into them.

as for the wonderful gift - i am absolutely obsessed with it, but i propose this: inkpa and patpran's kids growing up next door to each other, being the closest cousins in the world, and always being able to come to their uncles/aunts!

[mobagehelllocal]

“i can hold the world in my hands” ver ii - deuce, jade, floyd & silver

A/N: Hello hello I finally finished farming the FGO event. I’m continuing the “i can hold the world in my hands” series with some self-indulging choices~ I won’t write anymore for this series unless people request for it. For the ones who have sent in requests, please do not worry! I will get right on it since that will be my next writing priority~! :)

Now! Without further ado~ Let’s get some fluff!

other versions: ver i (dorm leaders), ver ii (this), ver iii (jamil), ver iv (ruggie, rook, lilia), ver v (trey), ver vi (ace, jack, epel, sebek)

--

Underneath his breath, Deuce rapidly muttered out the magical theories written in Riddle’s notes. His brows furrowed, and his mouth, pouted--a soft giggle escaped your lips because you can’t help admire how genuinely adorable he was being. 

You knew about his past--he had already told you that he used to be a delinquent, and that he worried his mother so much so that he wanted to change his image in high school. He was doing his best to be a model student--the type of student he thought, would make his mother proud. It was sweet, and it made you want to cheer him on as much as possible.

You quietly slid a drink his way, just something he can use to refresh himself with--studying magic theory was difficult. It wasn’t exactly for everyone. It was something you couldn’t help with either, because regardless of how much you tried to understand--you had no magic. You would never be able to really comprehend the topic. So, the most you can do was sit by his side, give him a drink and maybe snacks when he looked really stressed.

Seeing the drink at the corner of his eye, Deuce closed the notebook and leaned his head back against his seat.

“My head hurts.” he whined, and you laughed.

“But you’re almost done.” you placed a hand on his shoulder, and he hummed as you rubbed it gently, “just a little more.”

“I might need a break.” he said after a moment of silence, the faintest glitter of mischief in his green eyes was definitely the delinquent in him. You smiled, you loved this about him too-of course.

“Hm...” you tapped your lower lip, “then let me tell you a trick I learnt back home.”

He tilted his head in interest, and you shot him a grin.

“Did you know, I can hold the world in my hands?”

“What?” he gaped, you chuckled at his expression--leave it to Deuce to actually believe you meant it--literally. “Wait, how? Like is it magic? But no it’s not magic, you don’t have magic--so wait how does that work--”

Your hands land on his cheeks, and you squished his face.

“What are you doing?” he shot you a quizzical look.

“Holding the world.” you winked. He stared at you confused.

“I...” you tilted your head, patiently waiting for him to respond. “I don’t get it.” he said finally, and a snort slipped out of you, followed by a guffaw. In fact, you’re so amused, you begin to tear up, and your hands slip away to cover your mouth.

“What? Why are you laughing Prefect? I really don’t get it!” He had a genuinely frustrated expression on his face, and it makes you laugh even harder.

“Oh you adorable boyfriend of mine.” you pinched his cheeks, and he lets out a yelp. “I mean that you’re my world.”

“Oh.” his eyes are wide, and you give him several more moments to understand what you tried to convey to him. “Oh... you mean... I’m your... that is...”

“Yes.” You nodded firmly, “you’re my world Deuce.”

He stared back at you, genuinely amazed, as heat crawled up his face. “I’m-- that is--eh--you” he shakily cleared his own throat, before his hands moved to cup your cheeks as well.

“You...” his face turned a brilliant shade of red reminiscent to a certain dorm leader’s. “you’re my world too.”

When Ace and Grimm returned to the dorm room bringing even more snacks, they’re met by the sight of the the two of you sitting a space a part, with beet red faces. Ace and Grimm shared an expression of disgust.

“Eww.”

--

When Jade couldn’t entertain you because he was busy doing errands for Azul, or working at Mostro Lounge--he would calmly slip an arm around your waist, and lead you off to relax in his bedroom. He would usher you into his bed, wrap you tight in his blankets, before leaving to go back to whatever he was doing.

So here you were, wrapped snugly in his blankets, blinking slowly as you had just awoken from a brief nap. The door opened, and Jade slipped in with a tray of your favourite drink from Mostro Lounge.

“Good afternoon my flower,” he greeted softly, “did you have a good nap?”

“Mhm... yeah.” You blinked rapidly, trying to shoo the sleep away now that your beau was here. “you spoil me too much Jade.”

“Ohoh... I’ll have to disagree,” his lips curled into that familiar smile that made your heart skip several beats. The same smile that made you fall head over heels for the merman. “I do not believe I spoil you enough.” He gently gave you your drink, and placed the tray down onto the bedside table. You take the straw, and slip it between your lips as you watched him undress his outer layers, at a slow pace. He put his hat down, carefully folded his scarf at the end of the bed, and slipped off his outer blazer. When he looked up, and caught your gaze, his smile widened.

“Oh my. Is there a reason you were staring, my flower?” You felt your whole face flush red at that.

“N-no!” you stuttered out, and his eyes slid shut, making him all the more devious looking.

“Please stop teasing me Jade.”

“I can’t help it. It comes naturally to me.” He chuckled lightly, as he removed his bowtie, and took a seat next to you. He noticed you were done with your drink, and without saying anything, grabbed it, to put on the bedside table. You couldn’t help but pout a little.

“Jade--I want to do something for you too.” ‘Or rather, I wish I could fluster you the way you do to me.’

“Hm?” he wrapped an arm around your waist before he gently pulled you up against him. You basically slackened in his arms, and his smile had a glint of amusement. What people seemed to forget was that as Floyd’s twin brother, Jade gave some pretty great tight hugs too. You could spend all day in his arms if you could.

“This is enough for me, flower.” he said, as he rearranged the two of you to be lying down on his bed--with you halfway on top of him.

“Yeah but... I feel like you’ve given me so much--and I don’t give back a fraction of what you do.” He tilted his head, his gold and olive eyes glimmered with affection. “You can try.” He said, his lips curled. You puffed your cheeks, and he chuckled as he stroked your back, while you buried your head in the crook of his neck.

‘What can I do for him?’ You nuzzled your head. ‘Or rather--I want to him to be flustered. I want him to blush. What can I do?’ Sensing that you were deep in thought, his lips curled even more, before he shut his eyes, waiting patiently for whatever it was you would throw at him. That, was what was fun with you after all. You weren’t very predictable, and it gave Jade a thrill.

When you suddenly moved away from his hold, he opened his eyes, to find you staring at him determinedly from above.

“My my...” his lips curled, “isn’t this a sight I can get used to?”  You feel your flush rise all the way to your ears.

“Jade!” he chuckled in response.

“I do apologize flower.” he quirked his brow. “so what are you planning on doing now?”

You steadied yourself above him and took in a deep breath.

“Jade, do you know I know how to hold the world in my hands?” He arched a fine brow at that. You could tell he didn’t think it was possible, but that he would humor you for now.

“Oh? I haven’t heard about this before.” he looked at you thoughtfully, “how exactly would one go about holding the world?”

When he feels your fingers slide across his jawline, and curve around his cheeks--he blinked in wonder.

His normally heavy lidded eyes went wide, his brows raised, his lips were parted ever so slightly and the slightest rush of pink rose to his cheeks.

Jade--startled and flustered--you had rarely seen such a face.

“I’m holding my world in my hands.” you said, with such a beautiful, tender smile that Jade’s heart instantly fluttered in excitement. His smile bloomed again--except this one wasn’t sly, or amused--but sincere and filled with love. His blush was still there, just the slightest shade of pink--but you can see it--and you couldn’t help but bask in your success.

“Oya... you remain the only one who can surprise me like this.” he chuckled softly, as he reached out a gloved hand to pull your face closer to his. He pressed a soft, but heated kiss on your lips. Once he pulled away, you regarded him with a pink face.

“How cute.” he muttered, and the next thing you knew--was that he flipped your positions.

“Jade!” you squeaked lightly, and he smiled in response. With his bigger frame, it was easy for him to grab both of your hands and keep them beside your head. Meanwhile his other leg moved between your thighs. “Jade!” your breath hitched in response, and this time for sure--there was a very satisfied smirk on his lips.

“I do apologize my flower, but I couldn’t help myself with you being as cute as you are.” He leant down to kiss your forehead, then nose, cheek and finally lips. “Won’t you show me cuter expressions?”

“--!”

“Yes,” he mused “just like that...” he trailed off as he moved to kiss you once more.

--

When you enter Mostro Lounge in search of Floyd, you’re immediately greeted by Azul.

“Ah, you’re here.” Azul nodded in acknowledgement, “Floyd is... having one of his terrible moods...”

“Say no more.” Azul breathed a sigh of relief, thanking the Witch of the Seas that you were always willing to reign in your boyfriend--especially when Jade was out, busy. “I’ll handle it. Is he in his room?” When he gave you an affirmative nod, you went on your way. The Octavinelle students parted around you--all shooting you thankful expressions in the process.

You knocked gently on his door, only to hear incoherent grumbling. You giggled to yourself, pushed open the door, and playfully peeked in. Floyd was hidden underneath his quilt--making it look like there was a huge mound just shifting around on the bed.

“Azul go away.” the mound shook, and you almost let out an ‘awww.’

“Nope~” you said in a sing-song tone. “Guess who?”  

The mound paused, before Floyd’s head peaked out of the covers. The lifeless frown on his face immediately turned into a smile often reserved only for you. Your heart melted at his change of expression, and the gleam of adoration on it--but you also felt a little sad, it’s not as bright as it normally was.

“Shrimpy!” He quickly sat upright, and opened the blanket in invitation. With a smile, you took off your shoes, before Floyd impatiently pulled you into his arms, and underneath the blanket. He repositioned the two of you so that you were sitting on his lap, with your legs wrapped around his waist, his arms around your own waist, and his face nuzzled into your neck. You could also feel the way he wrapped the blanket around you, and the following squeeze he gave.  

“Hello Floyd~ how are you?”

“Better now that you’re here.” was his muffled reply, and you felt your face warm.

“Why, did something happen?” You felt him shrug.

“Nothing. Just sad.”

“Aww.” you reach up a hand to brush through his hair, and he hugged you tighter in response.

‘How could I cheer Floyd up?’

The thing with having Floyd as your boyfriend, meant that you often had to come up with different ways to cheer him up. Often, a method you used once wouldn’t work twice. The one method that always worked was if you submitted yourself to his cuddles for as long as he wanted.

The reason you came up with different methods was--

Well.

You loved him. Truly. Even if you knew it was normal for him to be as moody as he was--you never wanted to see Floyd sad. So you were always just willing to come up with ways to cheer him up.

‘So what could I do...’ While you were thinking, Floyd rubbed his cheek against yours absentmindedly, and your eyes widened in realization. ‘I can do that!’

“Floyd, baby, can you look at me?”

“Hngh...”

“Come on, just a second okay?” you coaxed gently, until he pulled back and stared at you with a confused pout.

“Shrimpy... why... I want to keep cuddling...” he whined softly.

“Listen to this Floyd.” You slid your arms away from his waist, at which he made a mournful noise that broke your heart.

“You know, I can hold the world in my hands.”

“I don’t care.” his pout grew severe as his hold on you tightened.

“Come now, let me at least show you how I can do it--then we can go back to the cuddles.”

“... Fine... just so we can cuddle fas--”

When he feels your hands slip to cup his face gently, he stared at you in surprise. Your eyes grew tender as he finally met your gaze.

“There we go. I’m holding the world in my hands.”

“Shrimpy...” he stared at you, awed, ‘for you to think this of him... he feels....’

‘He feels.’

His face lit up with the big smile that you’ve come to so ardently love.

“And there’s the smile I love!--” you let out a yelp when you’re suddenly tackled down onto the bed.

“Floyd?”

Floyd looked down at you, and you gulped a little at that gleam of mischief in his two-toned eyes and that slight curl on his lip...

“I too~ Will show Shrimpy... how important you are to me...”

“Wait--mhm!”

“Mhm~ I love you too Shrimpy~”

--

Silver was asleep again.

You smiled wryly to yourself, as you carded your fingers through his hair. When he hadn’t picked you up after class, you knew you’d find him here--in this meadow. His last class for today was flying, with this meadow being at the midpoint between the field and your classroom. This wasn’t the first time he hadn’t shown up to pick you up, only to have fallen asleep here.

You were always worried about Silver--worried about where he might accidentally fall asleep, and in the chance he gets endangered by it. You tried not to--after all, you knew he was a knight, and how well he did his job when... well... when he was awake.

Whenever you conveyed your worries to Silver, he always dismissed it--saying that he had gotten used to it, and that he had never gotten in danger before.

But what was he expecting? For you to be able to completely stop worrying?

You cared about him very deeply--after all, you loved him.

So you did what you could do given the circumstance--you tried to see him as often as possible. Just to make sure he was awake. He had originally raised a brow at your sudden... well... clingy tendencies... but all in all didn’t seem to be suspicious.

Lilia knew though, and the old man laughed.

“He really should stop making you fret... it’s not very knightly of him.” Lilia’s smirk revealed the tip of his fangs.

“It’s really not because of the sudden sleeping,” you confessed, “either way, I’ll always be worried for him...because...” you flushed red, and Lilia’s smirk widened. “I really do love him.”

“It makes me happy to see you so devoted to that child.” he mused. “I genuinely am... but”

“But?”

“But little one, you really should explain it to him--your worry that is.”

“I’ve tried Lilia.” you frowned, “I can’t seem to get it across to him.”

“I’m certain you just haven’t tried everything you can do.” he gestured for you to lower yourself so he can pat you warmly on the head. “Why don’t you tell him how important he is to you?”

“I’m sure you can do something about our Silver.”

You idly wondered how to go about Lilia’s advice, when you noticed movement on your lap. You looked down to see Silver’s pale, tangled lashes flickering ever so slightly.

“Good morning Silver...”

He blinked blearily up at you.

“Ah... did I... fall asleep?”

“Mhm.” you hummed, his eyes slipped shut again.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” ‘I’m used to it.’

“Your lap is comfortable.” he murmured, and the light flush that had already been in your cheeks since you decided to put his head on your lap--darkened considerably.

“Why don’t you tell him how important he is to you?”

You weren’t very good at serious things, but maybe that played a part in why Silver didn’t really understand your worry.

“Hey... Silver?”

“Hm?”

“Did you know... I could hold the world in my hands?” His nose scrunched up, and he opened his eyes to gaze up at you.

“Is that... possible?”

“Yeah.” you hesitated as you stopped stroking his hair. “can I show you?”

He nodded his head as well as he could from his position when he felt the way you place your palms against his cheeks. His eyes widened as he stared into your own glimmering ones.

“You’re my world, Silver.”

He exhaled at that, and he momentarily shut his eyes in irritation at himself. ‘I’ve made her needlessly worry about me, haven’t I?’

“I... I don’t know how much I can promise you.” He started, “Lord Malleus... even my old man... they don’t fully understand my condition but... I’ll try to stay awake more.”

“If you can’t... can you sleep in a more crowded place? Like maybe where people will see you at least. So they know where you are.” He blinked at your suggestion before he nodded.

“I think I can do that.”

“That’s good.” you sighed in relief, and just as you were about to move away, Silver reached for your own cheek. He stroked it, before he guided your face closer to his own.

‘From this angle--’

“You know, from this angle...” he smiled very gently, and you felt hot, all the way to the tips of your ears. He was so beautiful--his features so delicate--he was like a prince. “All I see is you. You’re my world to you know?”

His grip tightened, and he used his other elbow to slowly raise himself to give you a light feathery kiss.

--

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait’s Emotional Crisis and Analysis on Saeran’s After Ending

That’s right. it’s here folks! You’re here because we’ve managed to survive the waiting period that has been two-years in the making. Are we all happy that we have made it this far and survived the wait? Yes, yes, we are. You wouldn’t still be listening to me babble about how much I love Saeran Choi if you weren’t. We all know what we’re here for, so let’s get down to business. 

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST. I’m not even joking this time. It’s a very long post. 

Spoilers for Ray Route and Another Story!

I’ve been having to control the flappy hands when I see this photo so forgive me if my thoughts are all over the place as I talk about everything that has been on my mind. I literally had to pinch myself when I woke up to a flood of messages on the matter. 

It’s him. It’s my boy. It’s my boy.  It’s my boy! Mom, holy fuck! It’s my boy and he looks great. I’ve had a lot on my mind since I first saw the title screen so let’s get down to what I have to say about that. First of all, I’m in love with MC’s outfit. I’d wear that, that’s the fucking mood tonight. I’ve been frothing at the bit to be able to draw my MC wearing this outfit and I didn’t even wanna start doing something like that until they gave the official release to us. 

What can I say? I’m a sucker for really frilly tops. Those pink jeans are a really nice shade of pink too. It’s not hot pink, it’s a nice bubblegum which is a good contrast to Saeran’s hair, haha! I just like seeing all the pinks around this boy and his MC, of course, has to be cloaked in those colors as well. It just makes me really happy. I love some of the other outfits that MC gets to wear in the game but oh, God, oh, Fuck. This has to be my favorite outfit that we’ve been able to wear thus far. 

The little necktie? Perfect. Those sleeves? Iconic. The hand-holding? PURE AS FUCK. THE VIBES? CHECKED. 

Now that I’ve covered my bases with MC, let’s go onto the Choi brothers and talk about them. I actually like that they’ve been drawing Saeran in more brown and pink outfits. It just feels very right for him. 

It goes to show that his mental state is much better than it was in recent years, like, from Ray to Suit Saeran and to Unknown, we all know that they would dress in black and darker themes if they were given the chance. Ray’s outfit was given to him by Rika to wear, and Suit Saeran was the one that picked his suit out to wear. Unknown walked out of the clearance bin at Hot Topic and added those cowboy boots to enrage me. But, I digress. I’ll fight Unknown at a later date about that. 

The natural and earthy tones that they’re going for here with him are very nice to see. He seems like he’s a lot comfier with himself here. He’s got a cozy little old sweater on and his posture is better than I’ve seen it in many photos. If his style is just cozy sweaters, then, well, I can vibe with that. I can see him working in the garden wearing that and I think that’s the point that they’re making with this style of his. 

The loose collar is also nice. I’m used to seeing his clothes buttoned up and out of the way, making sure that he isn’t showing his body. So, seeing him play with his style and wearing something much looser against his body is a good thing as well. I think I saw someone call him a comfy grandpa in one of the posts that I’ve seen floating around. I chuckle at that mention. 

Saeran doesn’t care that much about fashion, to be honest with you. He would, of course, choose something that’s minimalist and comfortable. These browns work with him very much so. I’m happy to see it! It’s in line with the style that I’ve had in mind for him after the Ending! 

Can you see the way that he’s gazing at the player, though? Can we talk about the way that he’s looking at us?

The longing in that gaze... the way that it looks like he’s been getting some good sleep for once in his life because the discoloration of purple is gone! The way he has that tiny smile that only we know is a smile because he only shares that side of himself with us? His MC? God, I’m in love with you, you fucking bastard man why is your smile making me cry so much?

I could talk about his smile for hours. His expression. The longing. The way that I love you cannot be contained in words, Saeran. It’s far too strong. Just know I’m the person that can feel what’s going on his body from looking at him. He looks to be in a good place. 

Anyways, onto Saeyoung. 

Oh, my darling, Saeyoung. I’m used to seeing you in green palettes. It’s just a tried and true theory with your red hair and you lean heavily into being a walking Christmas palette. It’s rare to see you without your glasses, and I’m sure that a lot of people are swooning over you for that. You know you’re handsome and you will use that against those MCs that love you. I don’t have a lot to say about his outfit but I do think it’s really fitting for him. 

It seems like a muted pull-over and some worn jeans, which seems in line with everything that I would style him in. He knows plenty about style himself and he knows how to make my head spin. 

What is this somber look in his eyes? There’s a smile on his lips but there is this feeling to me that it doesn’t meet his eyes. Is he happy that we’re with Saeran or is he weighed by the fact that he wasn’t the one to save Saeran? Does he know what happens with Rika? Does he feel angry over that? What are we going to tell the RFA and him about this? I know that he would be happy that we saved his brother...

But the guilt in his heart is nothing to scoff off. He always blames himself for what happened to Saeran even though Rika is the one that broke his trust for good and forever. I feel like there’s something bittersweet in his eyes. Does he think that Saeran and the player are going to live happily while he’s not there? 

I always intended to imagine Saeyoung living with Saeran and the player, because they can’t be separated again. 

But does he feel like a weight and a third wheel? I don’t know. I’m scared to think about how he may feel like Saeran is happy now without him and he’ll try to pull away instead of adding anymore trauma onto Saeran’s life. I know that it’s not going to easy for recovery for either of them, but I want to have faith and care for the two of them. 

Saeyoung, you better not self-deprecate. I’ll smooch your forehead too. I just really don’t know how I feel about that look in his eyes. It’s just matching the smile in my opinion. 

I’m still screaming. I’ve been a pit of screaming for nearly three hours now and I know that I’ve still got plenty more to say today on the matter. But, I know why you’re here for real, you want me to analyze what I see in this picture and what I think will be in the AE from what we’re shown. I’ve had a few days to think it over and I’ve got my ideas. 

Where are you Saeyoung? This title screen is not confirmation that Saeyoung is alive. For all we know, this photo could be more inspiration for the theme and the emotion that takes place in the After Ending. 

I have to remind people that when we first played Saeyoung’s AE, it was a rouse and we were treated to a happy dream sequence that sought to talk about Saeran living with us and Saeyoung as he made a toy store. There’s a possibility that in the midst of the search for Saeyoung, we’re confronted with dreams and nightmares on Saeran’s end in regards to his brother. 

It’s my biggest fear that Saeyoung isn’t alive. We don’t know if the Prime Minister took him or if an enemy took him, or if it was the agency, or a combination of all three of these options. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’ve considered that we won’t have the answer until the After Ending itself comes out but I’m interested to know what the answer is. 

If it was Saejoong, well, I fear for Saeyoung’s health if we do find him alive. His emotional state... God, that was always his biggest fear. His and Saeran’s biggest fear that their mother always whispered. She was a monster to the two of them with her abuse but the unknown of what their father would do to them had to be even more frightening. Their mother always said that Saejoong would kill them if he caught them. 

But, he could have honestly done a lot of horrible and twisted things. They could have become political pawns and a sob story that Saejoong could have sold if he wanted quite easily, and their mother could have been killed to silence that story. There was a lot of worse case scenarios. Saeyoung knows and has thought of all of them. 

So the idea that he’s living his worst nightmare? 

The fact that Saejoong could have killed Saeran without him being able to protect him?

The fact that he’d not be able to talk to V? 

He sent a frenzied message to the chatroom for us to contact V for him. This only implies that he was trying to warn V to protect Saeran at the last minute, so it feels like it could only be Saejoong that took him. He panicked hard. He had to make sure that Saeran was protected even if he died. I think that was what he did with his message in the chatroom. 

But, we all know how it turned out. 

I felt like that sacrifice of panic on his part was.... it still hurts me to think about all of it. 

My worst case scenario is a dream sequence and Saeyoung not... not being alive anymore. I don’t know what that would do to Saeran. He wants to make things right with his brother, he really does. The gaslighting and manipulation done by Rika is going to take some time for them to work past, and I know that he can make progress in therapy and as he challenge his intrusive thoughts as we stand by his side. He can see it through. 

He is hopeful for his brother. 

However, it’s going to be tested when he actually faces his brother in the game and that’s the real test. Therapy is one thing. Facing your fears is even harder than talking about them. Saeran is going to... be overwhelmed with everything and he may need to step away when push comes to shove. 

I want Saeyoung to see us together holding hands and let him have that moment realization that even though Saeran went through a lot of harm while they were separated, he wasn’t alone through all of it. He never wanted Saeran to be alone in any way. If Saeran has to step away, then well, that would leave us with his brother in the process.

I can’t say how much I’d choke up if he thanked us for loving his brother. The guilt in his eyes as he cries and we reassure him. I think that’s one thing that I want the most with Saeyoung. I want him to know freedom from his chains and I want to help him too. There’s a lot that I want out of that and there’s so much of this potential that we can talk about in the AE.

There’s a lot with Saeyoung that I want to think about but so much of it makes me wanna cry. 

I also fear for V and I’ve discussed many of my fears on that matter. I’ll repost my thoughts right here.

Now, in regards to what I sincerely don’t want is a repeat of what went down with V’s After Ending.

I’ve shared my feelings on that matter before and I understand that Cheritz was going for that moral high-road that many people take where they say that it’s better to forgive on your path to healing, and while that can be good for some people, it can leave a sour taste in the mouth of people who don’t pick to forgive the people that hurt them.

I don’t choose to forgive the people that hurt me in many cases. That doesn’t make me a bad person. The problem with the Forgive/Judgement ending is that it can make you feel ashamed for not forgiving someone who quite literally, took funds from the RFA’s first two parties (that’s the only way she could’ve gotten the money to fund Mint Eye, even coercion and manipulation of people on the level that Rika does wouldn’t give her that much ability), manipulated and gas-lit Ray and Saeran for years, deceived and drugged countless people, so on and so forth.

I hate that she’s never punished for her actions. She needs to be rightfully punished for what she did. I want her to get therapy, and I want her to learn that she was wrong for what she did to everyone. I want her to be able to get better for her own health, and I don’t think she should ever be contact with anyone in the RFA ever again. But, that’s up to the RFA if they choose to speak with her or interact with her, not mine. I don’t want her to die, I want her to learn what she did was wrong.

It’s not Mika (Rika Behind Story Spoilers) who went through the cult. Rika had every chance to stop while she was ahead but she kept doing it. I would not forgive Rika, and I would never want to be around her ever again if I were in the position of the RFA when the truth is made known.  

The only action that Rika ever took that could be looked at with the filter of self-defense was when she panicked when the boy’s mother tried to get close to her and harm her in a drunken rage. She acted to protect herself in that situation, but that’s the only thing that she’s ever done that someone could look at and say, she was protecting herself. She felt threatened. She panicked, she blacked out and protected herself from harm.

Don’t get me started on V. I love V, he’s not perfect, he fucked up a lot and he shouldn’t have gone back to Rika. It feels like he saw us love, forgive, and stand by Saeran and thought that he could be able to do the same for Rika, but that is not what will help him or Rika. They don’t need to be together again. They need to be fair away. Rika and V literally burned down the boy’s childhood home and V was wearing his sunglasses, so I can only presume that Rika harmed his eyes after he went to her.

Saeran himself says that he wants to tell everyone about Rika and V, but he needs to be able to discuss it with V. Even Saeran understands that V is a victim to some degree and he wants to help him. 

That was a big fucking comment on his part and I was proud of him for that. 

But, V left for Rika and we don’t know if we’ll ever see him again. So, I really don’t know how that’s going to be handled in the slightest, Anon.

I don’t want Rika and V together, like, ever again.

I want Rika to be punished for her actions and caught. I want V to get away from her and start to learn to love himself again and grow. I believe in him but he’s in need of someone to cheer him on when that abusive relationship ends. I really don’t want a repeat of V’s After Ending.

Don’t make me forgive Rika. 

Don’t make Saeran forgive her, either. 

That’s my worst case scenario fear. I want Saeran to be able to grow and get healthier, for sure, but his final confrontation with Rika should be the last time that he ever thinks about her. He made his mind up and he made it clear that she was wrong and he would never be tricked by her again.

I want him to stand his ground on that. I’ll stand by him no matter what he chooses to do, though. So, I want this to be about Saeran and Saeyoung coming together again, and helping V get out of that relationship with Rika, as well as Rika facing punishment for her actions. 

But, that might be asking a bit too much, haha.

Ideally, I want Saeran and the player to be able to reach out to V and help him get away from Rika as she’s taken down as well. We don’t know if she left Mint Eye for sure, we don’t know if she and V ran away. Who is running the Cult? Is the cult put to a stop or did Rika put somebody else in charge? It’s hard to say on that front and I’m still not sure how that’s going to end up. 

V can open up and work out everything that’s going to fall out here as it did in the events of V Route with Rika. He’ll need to work out everything with Jumin and the others, but I have hope for him to be able to face what went wrong and not only get the help he needs, but get the support of his support circle behind his back as everyone rallies behind him. 

I would love he and Saeran to be able to work out everything, Saeyoung as well, because even Saeran is willing to work with Jihyun. Rika to get some therapy, get punished for her actions and that to be dealt with is great. It never happens so. That would be a nice change.

Saeran knows that V is a victim in all of this too. So, it remains to be seen how this is going to be handled. I can only pray that Jihyun is able to be rescued as we rescue Saeyoung (hopefully, fingers crossed.) I’m still so proud of Saeran for doing that. 

God. 

I’ve talked about Choice and Saeran before in regards to the Secret Ending and his Good ending and... well, I’ll direct you to that post. To read about how important it was for Saeran to be able to choose what  he wanted to do with his life instead of having options forced on him. 

Can we discuss this photo as well from the Special Believer Box that I’m nearly about to buy at this point with whatever comes out with AE cause I need it?? I’m gonna go fucking broke. For you. Saeran. For you. I was saving my money for Christmas and now I’ve got a reason to live. 

I still don’t know if this is the implication of what will happen in the AE or if it’s something that will just exist as a standalone image. I still don’t know why Saeran would be dresses as his brother for some reason, unless there’s a twin switch-a-roo plot somewhere in all of this? I mean, bold choice, but I don’t know. I just think I needed to say again how cute that I think Saeran is in Saeyoung’s outfit. He’s so tiny and slender in comparison to his brother. 

I’m gonna fucking smooch his forehead. I don’t know, I want the CG title screen and this photo here to imply that the Choi boys will be alive and happy together once all is said and done. I can’t say that I know where we’re heading but there is bound to be an adventure to hunt down Saeyoung, but I’m not sure where it will take us. 

A wild-goose chase alongside whatever mystery is left. I can’t wait. 

My ideal ending is one where we get to live in a little house by the sea with a garden with Saeran and Saeyoung where we can visit and chat with the RFA whenever we want. But, we’ll have to see what happens. If you want to read more about some of the things that I think he wants to do with his MC now that he’s free check out this post. 

Anyways. 

Kait’s gotta go cry now. 

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Which member do you think is the most supportive of VMIN?

Admin 1: For a change I’ll be the one that’ll use comparatively few words since I don’t have that big of an opinion. As much as I enjoy joining in on the jokes about how Jimin is the president of the Namjinists (due to his April Fool’s Day joke tweet from years ago and other such things), I’ve never given much thought to who among the members might be the most supportive of vmin.

But perhaps I’d say it could be Hoseok due to his general fondness of both Jimin and Tae as individuals but also as them together, how he said his favorite song off of MOTS7 is Friends and even sung it during the FESTA karaoke with the iconic (very suggestive and heavy on the implications) hip thrust during Tae’s “hey, Jimin, oneul” part. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Also if we consider that Jimin and Hoseok were roommates for a long time, I guess it wouldn’t be too far-fetched of an assumption to make on my part that surely they had a number of deep late night talks over the years, and chances are Jimin would’ve sought out advice from Hoseok during one of them, perhaps even confided in him about his feelings for Tae (regardless which ones, both would be valid and something you’d talk about with a close friend).

Another option might be Namjoon, since he’s the leader and thus certainly the person who would have to know about such developments within the group for obvious reasons, but also it seems like Namjoon sought out consolation and advice from both Jimin (like that scene in BV4 around the bonfire off to the side from the group) and Tae (like the story he told at 5th Muster Seoul (?) about how he was kind of sad/feeling off so he talked to Tae before the encore and what Tae said made him feel better), meaning they are more than close enough to bring up certain topics with each other. So, based on that, it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch that he would stand up/look out for them if need be in conversations with BH etc.

That being said, regardless of how we interpret vmin and their bond, I think it’s safe to say that all the members are endlessly supportive of them, just like they are with any other duo within the group, though it’s easy to see that they do highlight vmin at times as something…special. A bond that’s noteworthy, stands out, even within a group as close as they are.

Admin 2: Chances are that what I think and am about to say might be a bit controversial. At the same time I’d like to note that this is only my personal opinion and theory, and not some kind of proven fact, yes? Perhaps no one will agree with me, but after putting many thoughts into this and looking at different content and events that have transpired over the years, as well as some other factors I’ll explain later, these are the conclusions I’ve drawn when it comes to the members and vmin. Furthermore, I don’t want to negate/comment on other ships since those don’t really play any role in this the way some might assume.

I think it’s important to remember that BTS basically exist in two version (though they are closely intertwined):

1: the idols on screen, who stand on stage, who share their music with us, who film content and who, to a certain degree, play a role, keep up an appearance that’s part honest and part mystery.

“I think V can show parts of Kim Taehyung and parts of V, but Kim Taehyung can’t show V. Kim Taehyung is Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is someone who’s still filled with a lot of curiosity and he’s inquisitive about a lot of things. There are so many things he wants to do. Also I think there’s so many things he is curious about.” – Tae, Break the Silence: Persona

2: the real-life humans with private lives, private friendships and personalities that are similar but not quite the same as what we know and see.

Both of these are real in their own right, and both of them influence each other in more ways than one. So, when we look at vmin in the context of both, the question of support and showing certain things and how those affect version 1 and 2 are tricky, multifaceted and much more complex than some imagine or present it as. Because the moment we assume private life vmin are real, that sort of swift in dynamic ultimately also affects their work and demands adjustments from all parties involved, especially the other members. A large portion of what they do and say on screen or anywhere that we can see it is, to a certain degree, planned or has been discussed prior.

More below the cut since this kind of got long:

In one of the Break the Silence episodes Namjoon spoke about how with the more recent tours they haven’t been really able to do as much “free style” stuff (as in moving freely around stage and being silly, that sort of thing) between songs with choreographies, as opposed to how it used to be in the early days, since much of the show is perfectly timed and planned down to every little detail and every single light surrounding the stage. Much the same way everything else sure is, too. Look at RUN, even there you can notice them looking at printed out pages that surely contain a short storyboard of how the episode should more or less go in general terms, since that makes editing and keeping things cohesive much easier, especially since BTS are seven people, therefore seven moving independent variables.

Keeping all of this in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that, in my opinion, the biggest vmin supporter is JK, followed by Hobi and Namjoon. I don’t mean, by any means, that completely idiotic theory some have created that one ship hides another, because that isn’t at all what I am going for with this. Of course Tae and JK are T*ek*ok (a subunit name they’ve after all created themselves though that context of that moment has long been changed by people) and Jimin and JK are J*ko*k, and depending on the demand (from a PR point of view as well as those of fans) and situations, those ships are utilized/highlighted in certain ways to achieve certain things. With this I don’t mean to belittle the actual real-life bonds between the real-life members, merely the “fantasy” versions created in large parts by shippers.

But that isn’t what I mean. Let me explain.

There are several situations that I think support my theory/opinion, past and more recent, but for the sake of fresh memories that we’ll all be able to recall, I’ll use more recent ones. During their vlive when BE and Life Goes On were just released, the one where they wore PJs, had pizza and that cardboard cutout of Yoongi, there was a moment when Tae was supposed to put lipstick on Jimin. He pulled Jimin close with his arm around his shoulder while Jimin giggled and playfully pretended to try and push him away or stop him from doing it, despite seemingly holding on to his top to keep him close anyway. While that was happening, the other members checked what they were doing and notably JK, upon seeing what vmin were up to, moved a few steps away closer toward the cameras and stood as though between vmin and said cameras while holding that silver screen thing used for lighting in photography (I’m not sure how it’s called). Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but seeing as Namjoon, who carried the Yoongi cutout, joined him, it seemed like they were trying to hide vmin, which of course didn’t work out since the producers simply switched to a different camera.

This might be me going temporarily delulu but toward the end of that sequence there was a moment where we couldn’t see much of vmin save for the tops of their heads. At some point Tae made a move with his head which some (including myself) have interpreted as a potential smooch (as in an actual one or just him pretending/doing the motion of it, that’s up for debate) which caused Hobi to break out in loud laughter.

A second example is day two of MOTS ON:E when it was time for Dynamite. Usually vmin just walk past each other doing something funny or interacting in some way, but on that day instead Jimin pulled Tae closer, enough so that their foreheads touched, and they looked at each other in quite a meaningful way. At the same time JK stood right behind them, since he’s the one that opens the song, and watched what was happening. Just like with the above example, he stepped toward them and put his hand on the back of Tae’s head in a gesture that I interpreted as a form of safety measurement that IF vmin were to potentially do something…risky, he could intervene by quite literally pulling them apart/stopping them. This moment of course has been twisted and manipulated in many different ways to, for example, showcase some supposed jealousy or alike, but I think that’s just plain stupid.

I’d also like to show you a few other pictures that I think show us the kind of dynamic he really has with vmin, how he watches (over) his hyungs with affection and support, so to speak:

(the following pictures, left to right: JM, JK, TH)

The sole fact that three maknae ships can exist simultaneously, while vmin might be the likely one to be real, in my opinion shows that everything between the three of them must be more than okay, that there’s harmony and understanding between them, everyone knowing their place/role exactly, that there’s no jealousy or other negative emotions involved. Even more so when we consider the stakes that come with it all, at the top of it all being money, not only for the members but also BH (including everyone who invested money in stocks, as well as all their employees that need to be paid). And the fact that BTS aren’t rookies anymore, but instead they have a big and very relevant role in a broader sense when it comes to influence, power, and fame.

Look at how professional they are when it comes to being idols and everything that entails, including shipping. Just look at how despite Tae’s Weverse comment to that one shipper, and the conversation in In The Soop, they played their roles so convincingly that no one who is in favor of that ship is willing to believe them or consider that perhaps they were wrong. But, this is more of a topic for another post, so I’ll leave it at that.

Looking at all these moments, bigger and smaller ones, gestures that some didn’t even notice or did but interpreted in a completely different way for their own reasons, it brought me to the conclusion that JK is their biggest supporter.

Just like Admin 1 said, I also think that Hobi and Namjoon are big supporter as well. Although I can’t for the life of me remember the piece of content where he said this (if anyone knows, please do let me know), I recall a moment where Namjoon spoke to Tae and said that he’s his responsibility, which made me wonder if that perhaps meant that Namjoon gave his vote of confidence about Tae (and vmin) to BH or agreed to keep an eye on him/them to keep them in check. But that’s just a thought/theory.

At the end of the day, whatever our opinion may be, we have to remember that we know very little about their private life, a tiny percentage if even, so it’s important to stick to/pay attention to/based our opinions on the original material and what the members say, instead of taking into account edited videos on YT or opinions influenced by others agendas, but that, too, is something to be discussed in a different post.

Thank you for this interesting question!

[huearmy]

The Smell of Truth - III

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 5303

Rating: NC-17

Sorry that it took forever, my head is messed up.

Chapter I  Chapter II  -  Chapter IV Chapter V  Chapter VI Chapter VII

For the first time in years Jungkook woke up on his own, when his body asked for it, without anyone waking him up with a bucket of cold water, or to meet some schedule. He felt numb and heavy, relaxed, rested. He stretched, sitting against the headboard in the dark room. He couldn't tell the time, since there was no clock, making him feel a little disoriented in space time. After so many years without freedom to come and go the boy was not sure what to do now. About ten minutes went by without anyone showing up to tell him to get up - and he didn't want at all, the bed hugging him - hunger settled in his stomach, as well as the urge to go to the bathroom. But could he really leave? He got up and tested the door. It wasn't locked. So he could leave the room, in theory. Without making a sound he closed the door again and went back to bed, thinking about what to do to make the best impression on the first day in his new home. He decided to make the bed and tidy up the room. When he opened the curtains, bringing light to the room, a pile of clothes on the armchair caught his attention - a pair of sweatpants shorts and a oversized t-shirt, a new toothbrush, a pink post it on top. These clothes are mine, but it’s for you to wear while we don’t buy some for you. I think it'll fit. By the smell it was obvious the clothes were yours, he didn't even need to read the note to know. It fit, but not the way Jungkook likes to dress up - he likes big clothes on him, to feel comfy, and your big clothes, wich are big for you, who are smaller than him, are just right to him.  Right now he was in clean clothes, smelling of fabric softener and you.  He put on his shoes and his cap too. Outside the window the now busy street was full of cars and people, making him excited to go out. But yet again, can he? Determined to be a good boy and not disobey, for you to love him, Jungkook sat on the edge of the bed and waited. More minutes passed before he heard light knocks on the bedroom door. He crossed the room in one step and opened the door as fast as he could, his tail wagging from side to side, but it wasn't you in the hall, his smile fell. It was the cat. "What are you doing?" Yeri asked, taking him by surprise. "I... I'm..." He stammered. She crossed her arms "You've been up for almost half an hour, why haven't you left the room yet? Are you alright?" "Yeah" He spoke so low that if Yeri didn't have feline hearing she wouldn't have understood a word. "I was waiting for Y/n." "Oh" Her confused expression softened. "She went to work." "She is not home?" Yeri couldn't understand the slight panic in Jungkook's voice at asking it, or why he didn't left the room by his own choice. She don't know the feeling of rejection like he does, or the pain of being treated like a animal. She knows she is privileged though, she don't need to understand to be empathic... And you asked her to be nice to Jungkook so... "No, and she asked me to keep an eye on you until she back." She smiled softly "Go wash yourself, Y/n let breakfast done for you." Jungkook loved the restroom, for no especial reason, he just he just never saw a bathroom so ... happy - all colorful and with little plants in cute pots, and smelling and clean like he never imagined a bathroom could be. Out of curiosity he decided to try the shower, turned the register slowly, and when the water started to fall he put his hand under it and ... oh, it was so warm. "Yeri!" Jungkook ran into kicthen , where the cat was waiting by the table, scearing her off. The white hairs on her tail were all standing on end when she answered in a hiss. "What?!" "Where do I find towels and shampoo?" He excitedly asked. Not quite understanding Yeri pointed to the hall. "In the closet under the stairs in the hall... But..." Before she could end the sentence he was gone, and the sound of the door of the bathroon closing againg. Jungkook love to shower, stay clean, water. This was often the only medicine he received after being beaten until he was unable to get up. After a while, the cold, limited water shower became the safe spot for him, where the world couldn't hurt him anymore, and he could just breathe. In the shelter the water was not so cold anymore, but there was still a time limit for each shower, it was still Jungkook's favorite time of the day, because he didn't need to think about anything other than himself. Now the water was hot and pressurized, massaging his sore muscles, more than the room you give to him, this felt like home. Of course Jungkook felt a litlle bit upset that you weren't home when he woke up, after all he wanted to see you, he never liked an owner so much that he missed them from one day to the next. But he wasn't going to complain, it's not like he's used to getting attention, in fact being alone was more common than anything. He understands that you can have more important things to do than show him the apartment or prepare and have breakfast with him... You are already too good to be real. He was rinsing his hair and ears, massaging his own scalp, when voices came from outside, caughting his attention. It was two voices, female. You were home. _________________________________________________________________________________________ You entered the apartment with arms full of shopping bags and document folders. You quickly dropped everything on the table or on the floor near the door, took off your coat to hang on the rack and kicked off your shoes. Your eyes searched the living room and kitchen, looking for Jungkook, without a sign of him. You tried to complete all your tasks at the office as quickly as possible and rescheduled some visits for other days of the week to be able to get home early to see him, you were anxious to know if he slept well, or if your male clothes fit him . The breakfast you prepared for him before leaving still wrapped on the counter. You frowned. "Where is Jungkook?" You asked to Yeri, who was lying on the couch by teh window, jumping through the channels. "Taking a shower. He just woke up." She said without looking away from the tv. You hummed. "Ok. Can you put on the news for me please. I didn't have time to check it today." Yeri complained despite obeying anyway, but you paid no attention to it, busy putting the mess you brought with you in its proper place. The TV journalist was talking about the economy updates, which was not the topic you wanted to see. The explosion of the shelter last night ended up on twitter trending topics, but you wanted to know what the official media outlets have to say about. On the internet your organization is seen as justice, everything you do is seen as a heroic act by many, and that brings strength to the movement. Those in favor of the slavery of the hybrids also speak out against you, but their ignorance only strengthens the abulutionist discourse too - in a slow process of difficulty, but there are so many people working for equality that you refuse to be shaken by these rotten people full of hate. This polarization of ideas, of course, also divides politics, and it is this part that interests you the most, because it is from the government that the rights of the hybrids will be guaranteed. Mess with the economy and popular opinion that it is possible to change the government, which is why you and your camarades love that much to explode some state buildings. "Why are you home? I was expecting you only in an hour." Yeri looked at you from the other side of the room with lazy eyes. "Ah, I have to go out to do some more sttuf, but I needed to come pick something... And maybe eat. I skipped lunch."   You decided to warm up the pancakes you made for Jungkook in the morning, and add toast and eggs to your meal. You heard the bathroom door and fast steps and was about to ask Jungkook if likes coffee, the moment you turned around he was already behind you, with a big smile and open arms to hug you. "Y/N!" You were enveloped by jungkook's long arms and squeezed against your chest, losing your balance the way he hit you with his whole body. By instinct and with no regrets, you hugged him back. His tail, which was already swinging from side to side, started to swing even faster. His dump hair was wetting you, and his litlle happy sounds were malink you soft. "Hi, Jungkook...." You give light taps on his back and opened up space between you two. " Let me see you... I knew the clothes would fit quite well. But if you don't like them, fine, they are only temporary, so you don't have to walk around in that shelter's hideous pajama." "I like the smell of it." He said smelling the shirt collar fabric. "Good. Because I'm a little paranoid about laundry." You really are. Actually you are kind of crazy tidy. "Are you hungry?" You softly said, still looking to how the clothes were wrapping his body. You didn't notices but you were making him blush with your stare. "Yes." He said in tiny. "Me too, lets eat breakfest together.". You reaffirmed your theory that Jungkook wouldn't be too picky about food, and that basically anything you put in front of him he eats happily. He just doesn't like coffee. And sweets are really his favorite. He ate the pancakes and egg with toast, plus a very large bowl of cereal, some fruit and a glass of juice. It wasn't just because everything was good, but he was happy you were eating with him, and that made him even more hungry. "Lucky me I have money." You still have a lot of questions in your head to do to Jungkook. You were curious about him in so many levels. Since from his habits and tastes to his past ... One doubt you have is: How is he so docile? His file said that he spent almost a decade in illegal dogfights. Most hybrids take less than five years to lost their and go feral, and then when they can no longer be controlled the owners put them down. But Jungkook doesn't. Furthermore, despite being a pitbull, he does not have his canine ears clipped, which is not common in the middle of where he came from. You wanted so much to ask... but you decided oposite it, thinking that it wasn't the moment. "Want more juice?" Jungkook offered, he was pouring himself more and saw your empty glass. "Of couse, thankyou, sweetie." You didn't notice the blush on his cheeks again, intending to pay more attention to the TV in the living room. Jungkook was not used to hearing praise like that, the most he heard from his former owner was 'champion' or 'good boy' when he won a fight and there was nothing satisfying about it. Your 'sweetie', on the other hand, accompanied by a smile from you, just because of a glass of juice seemed like the world to him. "Updates on the terrorist attack on a shelter in downtown Seoul last night: It was confirmed that despite the magnitude of the explosion and the damage to the building's structure, there were no victims, either by the hybrids or by the local staff. According to the authorities, the 100 hybrids that lived in the shelter were kidnapped by an anti-government organization as a form of protest, on social media entities defend that they were released by the Set Us Free movement." You got up and crossed your arms to watch the jornalist talking as aerial recordings of the burning building and post prints talking about took over the screen. "Early in the morning, a series of complaints linked to the shelter came to the knowledge of the police, involving corruption and money laundering, as well as mistreatment of resident hybrids. Among the evidence presented a list with names involved in the scheme ..." As the jornlist listed names of businessman and politicians. Many of these names you already knew, once your group that investigated and made the report, others were a surprise to you. In that moment you were so interested in the news that you sat on the end of the chouch supporting your elbows on your knees,  watching the TV without blinking. Jungkook recognized the images from the shelter last night, but he didn't find it so interesting, because seeing the explosion live was much nicer, and none of the information said anything to him. But seeing you so serious was interesting, he took the bowl of cereal and sat at your feet, looking more at you and your reactions than at the TV itself. "Senator Y/L/N spoke earlier in a news conference.." The image of the journalist was replaced by one of a man in a suit speaking in front of several different microphones. "Violent acts can't and won't be encouraged, but we need to pay attention to where it comes from. The social injustice and slavery of hybrids needs to be tackled in some way, and since the government is slow to guarantee the rights they deserve as similar to humans, manifestations of marginalized groups are to be expected. It is not giving them what they want, as the conservators say, it is guaranteeing them what should already be theirs by right. Situations like last night are nothing more than a symptom of the disease that we think we are entitled to own a hybrid." Jungkook thought it was cute the way you were biting the inside of your cheek or how it looked like you were narrowing your eyes with each word said. "Ya... Dad is so different when speeching..." Yeri mumbled.  It took Jungkook's attention away from you. "Dad?" He asked with his mouth full of cereal, looking from Yeri to you and to the man in the TV. "Yes." You awnsered, lying in the couch. "This is my uncle... He is cool isn't he?" Jungkook frowned, not thinking the guy is so cool... but since you say so... "Does he protect hybrids like you do?" You smiled to him, slightly petting his head. "On his way." At the same time that the news changed to weather forecast, your phone started to beep with messages. You praticaly jumped from the couch to your feet. "I need to go." You said. From the floor, Jungkook looked at you with doe eyes and a pout. "You are leaving again?" "I have something to do... But you can come with me. If you want." "I do." Jungkook jumped on his spot, finishing his cereal as fast as he could. "Then go put on that hoodie I gave you. Is kind of cold out side." You didn't need to say twice. Jungkook ran to his room to obligue, he came back finishing putting on his sweatshirt and putting on his shoes midair. He was so excited, and the look on your face when he took your hand was so affectionate towards him, just like the good dreams sometimes he have. He was intending on livig his best life with you while it lasted, as long as you wanted him, after so many bad, terrible things that he was forced to go through during his short life, Jungkook got used to not waiting for things to really improve, but he also learned to enjoy each of the good moments, whether they were truth or just dreams. Maybe he will wake up at some point and realize that he is still in the shelter ... or in the cold room, using a muzzle ... Until then he will not stop receiving all the affection that you are willing to give. Among the good things he was not expecting to happen, going out for a walk is one of Jungkook's favorite. "I'm ready." He told you with a cheekie smile, even if you could clearly see it for yourself. You just smiled back containing the urge to grab him by the cheeks. So cute. "Do you want a ride home,Yeri?" You picked the keys. "No thanks. Irene will pick me up in half of an hour." She didn't even looked at you to awnser, to busy scrowling throgh her phone. "Ok. Don't forget to lock the door when you leave," Said that you two left the apartment, and Jungkook got your attention all for himself again. ________________________________________________________________________________ It wasn't your plan to spoil Jungkook so much. Of course, you already intended to go shopping with him, and maybe, who knows, give the world to him if he wanted to, but the idea was that things would happen more slowly.  Instead, early in the morning on your way to work, you saw a beautiful jacket in a shop window and thought it would look beautiful on him, without hesitation you went into the store and bought it, and as a bonus some other pieces of clothing for essential use. Now you were supposed to go to the grocerie store, get an order of yours, and that's it. Kess than one hour and you both would be back home. Now its been almost two hours and your SUV is stuffed with shopping bags of clothes and other random things that made Jungkook's eyes sparkles as you strolled in front of shop windows - you let him buy a skate and an air freshener, for exemple. The tour was a big new world for him, clearly he was having fun just running around the store shelves and you had to pull him back into focus more than once. Like when he decided to try on all the hats in a store, first one hat at a time then all at the same time, it was cute, and you took the ones he seemed to like the most and added to his shopping pile without him paying attention. "Jungkook, do you want to choose some underwear? I have no idea what you like or what size you wear..." He was no where to be seen but you knew he was listening to you, especially after a few seconds, when the sound of the new boots you bought him two stores earlier approached fast, and then the hybrid's happy face appeared among the jeans racks beside you. "Oh, this is important, the only underwear I have is drying on my bedroom window." He said starting to look through the pile of new underwear, ignoring all the colored ones, and separating only the black and white ones. "Wait, what?" You blinked at him. "I washed in the shower and didn't know where to leave it, so I hung it in the window." He simply said. You were kind of shocked. "Jungkook... Aren't you wearing underwear? Like right now...?" He just made no with his head, too entertained in choosing several identical boxer briefs.. You looked around to see if anyone around heard it, taken with modesty but finding the situation a little funny. "Did you have more at the shelter? Why didn't you bring it when I said to get your things?" "I had it, but I didn't think about it at the time." You just laughed at him and hurried him so you would soon pay for everything and move on, with the promise of returning to buy more things later. You still needed to go to the grocerie store... Where together you filled a shopping cart with your list - last night he said he wanted to have a barbecue, so you were going to prepare one for him, lots of meat, charcoal and side dishes - and things that Jungkook thought might taste good by the look of it. "Jungkook, you will find some hygiene products for hybrid in this corridor. Take a look and choose, I'll be right back ... ". "Wait." He looked arond. The grocerie store was way bigger than the clothes shops you went before, with a lot more people, he was not comfortable being alone here. How would he know where to find you if you go too far? You read that in his expression and give his hand a squeeze. "I'll just pick a package. Three corridors from here to the right." You poited. "But don't worry I'll be right back. Can you look the cart for me?" "Of couse I can." He said, more confident now. "Thankyou, sugar." You gave him another of those smiles and then left him alone to choose deodorants and soaps for hybrids. But you didn't lie, as fast as you're gone you're back, now with a wrapped paper package in your hands. Out of curiosity Jungkook sniffed the package over your shoulder while you put it in the cart, but for some reason he was unable to identify what could be inside. "Please don't put anything on top of that, it's fragile." You said. "Ready to go?" "Yeah." Jungkook droped one of one soap bar into the cart, not seeing which of the two fragrances he had been choosing before. "What is it?" You gave him a mischievous smile, hooking an arm around his and then guiding him through the corridors to the cashiers. You knew he would be curious, and you specifically asked them to wrap the package in a special paper that will outwit his dog nose. "Its a surprise." Jungkook was convinced. He never had good experiences with the idea of 'surprise', but coming from you he did not imagine anything bad. If you were saying that he was supposed to wait to find out what was in the package, then he was just going to wait. ____________________________________________________________________ When you got home, you parked once again at the back of the building, the light from the florist indicating that although it was time to close, the employees still haven't left. The same thing in the office on the second floor. You thought it would take a lot of coming and going to take all the bags up to the apartment, but while you picked up some and thought it was too much for you, Jungkook picked up almost all the others, hanging them in his arms, and when he left the first batch on living room ran to get the rest alone. It had been a while since he had space to run a litlle, without even being able to remember the last time. He only slowed down when he heard voices on the second floor, adjusted the bags in his hands and tried to go unnoticed. "I want to finish this before call it a day." A soft voice spoke. "But I want to go home. I'm hungry..." Another male voice answered. "More fifteen minutes, Tae." The office door opened just when Jungkook was passing, and he felt like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have, even if he wasn't, two guys looking right at him. The one at the table in front of a computer and stacks of paper smiled and waved at him. The other, holding the door handle, didn't even blink at him, looking serious. Jungkook just bowed his head and continued on his way, stopping only after reaching you in the kitchen. You felt his arms embracing you from behind and his forehead on you sholder. The guy at the table was a hybrid, he couldn't tell what kind, but the smell was like a cat, and probably, since as far as he knows they both work for you, the two shouldn't be bad. Still, Jungkook couldn't make his heart slow down. Men scare him. You turned to look at him. He didn't let you go tho. "What's up?" You asked noticing his distress. Jungkook bited down his bottom lip. "Got tired." You smiled and pet his head for the second time today making him sigh and close his eyes. Without knowing it you made him calm down. "Go put your things on your room, the new clothes in the closet... When you're done, go up to the terrace." "And then we will eat a lot of meat?" "Yep" _______________________________________________ You were just finishing making the vegetable skewers, and putting the meat on the grill when Jungkook went up the stairs to the floor where his room is and the terrace, where he hadn't gone yet. Like the bathroom, the terrace were filled with plants, but here the vases and plants are much bigger. The starry sky was beautiful, and the movement of cars and people on the street is comforting and full of possibilities. Jungkook stopped by the glass door and just looked at you, who didn't noticed him yet. You were now in comfortable clothes and messy hair, drumming his fingers on the table to the beat of a song that was playing only in his head. Once again the thought that you seem inoffensive crossed Jungkook's mind. But that's a lie. You are powerfull in a way he isn't. During the tour of the city he saw your surname in names of shops and street signs more than once, your uncle is an important guy who appears on TV, and your friends do illegal things using guns and bombs... And you are human - and that's enough for you to be scary for any hybrid. You are not harmless, and one thing that would certainly hurt Jungkook hard would be if after today, when he felt at home after years of not knowing what that feeling is like, you decide that you don't want him anymore. That would be worse than every time he thought he was going to die in a fight. Rejection. Like in the shelter, Jungkook was trying to figure it out a way to be loved. To be so loved that someone would want to live with him forever and never leave him. But he doesn't know how to do it. "Do you want some help?" He approached you. "No. Now just don't let the meat burn." You proudly put your hands on your hips. "But I wantou to sit here... and close your eyes." You made him sit by the wooden picnic table and ran inside. He closed his eyes as you said so. You came back with calmer steps and put something in front of him, an instant after the smell of phosphor and sugar entered Jungkook's nose and you said... "You can open it now." In front of Jungkook was a cake with the words "Welcome home JK" written on it and some candles on top. His eyes got wet instantly. "This is an welcome party." You said softly, holding his hand. "And every party need a cake. Surprise, Jungkook." Jungkook wiped away the tears that began to flow with the sleeve of the hoodie - the hoodie that was yours and still smells like you. Seeing that he was crying, you tentatively rubbed a hand on his back and waited for the sobs to pass before you spoke. "Jungkook, we need to have this conversation sooner or later... But I don't want to be your owner." You said and he got freeze. He looked in shock to you and more tears ran down his face. He was so confused. The cake made him so happy and then you said exactly what he was afraid of hearing. A knowing look reached your eyes and you wiped the boy's face yourself. "Don't cry. Let me explain, ok?" He nodded, without realizing that he was holding your hand with all his strength. You couldn't care less. "I never intended on adopting or buying a hybrid. You are the only exception." You smiled sweetly. "When you said you wanted to come with me I couldn't say no. You were so sweet, trusting on me... You are very special to me, even if we've only known each other since yesterday." You took his face in your free hand. "But I'm unable to own a person. It may be strange for you to understand what I am saying now, but my intention in having you with me is for you to be free. If you want to live with me forever, in the simplest way in the world, I will take care of you. If you want to live your life in any other way, even if it is somewhere else, I will also take care of you, and support you. Because the choice is yours. Of course, you don't have to choose anything now. Today or years from now ... It will remain your choice." Jungkook relaxed but remained confused, not knowing how to respond. "What do you want?" He finally said. Your eyes saddened, the thought that your wanting to be more important to him than his own bothering you. "I want to be your friend." His answer seemed to be what Jungkook wanted to hear, because he opened a huge and beautiful smile. "That's enough for me. Can I eat the cake?" "Of couse!" You served him a piece and one for you, chattering like you never cared much for dessert after a meal, and that if he wanted to eat the meat and the cake together you wouldn't judge. His daydreams are cute, he concluded, determined to love you so that you love him. "Y/N... There are a lot of things about me that I don't like, and I know you won't like it either... And I don't like to talk about it, or to think about it at all... But since we are friends I feel like I should... " "That you should tell me?" He nodded. "You dont need to. Jungkook, I already know a lot of bad things about you." You made him freeze again. "Nothing personal, but enough that if it bothered me or changed the way I see you, I wouldn't even have brought you home. But I don't care, and if you don’t feel like sharing it with me now, or ever, okay, you don’t owe it to me just because we’re friends." He smiled to his cake. "Seriously, I have a lot of secrets my friends don't know. You can have yours too." "Thankyou, Y/N. I like you a lot, and I think I want to be with you forever." That was your time to smile to your cake. "So you are stuck with me forever then." Having a friend has always been more important to Jungkook than having a good owner. But for him the only friend he had stayed in the past, he was already sure that it would never happen again and that he was alone for the rest of his life. But now he had you, and that is enough. Regardless of the situation, friends are forever. If you are friends, he doesn't have to be afraid of you kicking him out, even with all the bad things he has done or all the fears he has.

And that good feeling tastes like cake. _____________________________________________________________

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