#(no special reason and i fully realise it's a me thing)

[pharawee]

Jinloe dropped the teaser for their Thai adaptation of Addicted Heroin... and as someone who's neither read the novel nor watched any of the other adaptations* I actually think it's surprisingly good? I'm keeping an open mind and I'll at least check it out.

*well ok, I watched the first adaptation but it didn't really leave much of an impression.

[a1t-ernative]

There is someone in the world that pictures my face for a character in their head

[wrioluvr]

『shhh, not so loud! make me. huh?』 slutty sub yandere x gentle himbo darling, male yandere x male reader

note: thank u all the support on pt 1 ♡♡ was thinking about a scenario where slutty yandere somehow manages to convince his darling to actually fuck him after a lot of begging... even tho reader is scared his large cock will break him apart <3 pt 1

cw: he/him pronouns for reader, mentions of reader's ex-boyfriends, loss of yandere's virginity, implied violence

nervous was the way you were feeling as you made your way to your boyfriend's house. the two of you had started dating a few weeks ago, when after you'd let him suck your dick, he broke down crying, admitted to how desperately he was in love with you, and pleaded on his knees for you to own him and treat him as your personal fucktoy. frantically, you quickly assured him you would treat him as an equal in the relationship, to his slight disappointment. of course, he was ecstatic that you'd agreed to be his boyfriend, but you were his god, how could he not worship such a kind being? in your eyes, despite his rather.... overly submissive behaviour, he was kinda cute, so why not give it a go? if only you knew how deep his obsession truly ran...

and with an progression in your relationship, came a progression in intimacy level as well. the previous day, he had gathered up the courage to ask you to top him, which is why you were making your way to his apartment now. the current fear you were feeling was not for yourself, but for him, you worried that he would hurt himself trying to bottom. you were aware you were bigger than most guys... you wondered how to tell him you weren't too sure about the whole anal thing after all.

but what you did not expect to see the moment you opened the door to his room, was him on his bed on all fours, ass up, using his index and middle finger to spread his tight pink hole towards you. he turned his head around at the sound of your arrival and looked back at you with lust-filled, half-lidded eyes, breathing heavily. "baby! thank god you're finally here... please fuck me already, i've been waiting for hourssss......." his words came out in a pitiful whine.

your eyes widen at his plea. "woah, okay, let's slow down." quickly, you make him sit up, much to his confusion. he was already ready, so why were you hesitant?

taking his hand and squeezing it gently, you tell him what's on your mind. "okay, uh... i'm not too sure if i want to fuck you right now..."

"wha- but- but why? you promised!"

"i know i did, but i'm worried for you. i know i'm kinda... big, so i don't want to make you bleed or anything..."

at your reasoning, he can't help but whine in frustration. don't you understand? he doesn't care about how much it hurts! he wants it to hurt! his one wish is for you to completely destroy him! usually he'd back down, since he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable with his desperation, but he decided to be a little selfish.

reaching over and fondling your crotch, he looked at you with a silent, horny plea in his eyes, then proceeded to sit in your lap and grind on your bulge sensually. he whimpered as your clothed dick got harder and prodded at his hole.

taken back by his sudden boldness, you let him straddle you. "hey... did you even listen to anything i said?"

"forgive me, darling. but i want this so bad. give it to me, pretty please?" he continues to roll his hips on your crotch, not sounding terribly sorry at all.

you sigh, realising you can't change his mind. "okay, just let me know if it hurts, and i'll stop immediately. alright?"

"mhm." but secretly, he'd moan in pleasure no matter how painful it was, relishing in it.

"at least let me prepare you first...?"

"i've been fingering myself for the past hour, you don't need to." he giggled, as he got back down on all fours on his bed, hoping you were proud of his forward thinking. "i want our first time to be special, so i'm fully prepared."

"wait... you're a virgin?" upon hearing your question, he turned his head back to look at you with an incredulous expression on his pretty face, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"but of course, i've been saving myself for you. i don't want anyone else using me." he bit his lip, making sure you knew how much he valued you taking his virginity. he suddenly realised how he'd completely forgotten to ask (or stalk to find out) about your past relationships. "what about you, darling? are you a virgin?" secretly, he was hoping the answer would be yes, but deep down he knew you were far too desirable for that to be true.

"nah. i dated a few guys before, but they broke up with me because they said i was too dumb." you'd never really thought about it deeply, but saying it out loud made you realise that it was rather embarrassing...

"how the fuck could they say that? you're so perfect and kind... forget about them, darling... just focus on me. you won't need to think about those ungrateful whores ever again." his change in tone caught you off guard, grip tightening around your arm. this was the first time he'd ever sounded genuinely pissed off. but this was quickly masked by his usual lovesick smile as he resolved to make you feel so good, your attention would forever be on him and him only.

eagerly, he helped you undress and tried not to blush at the sight of your naked body, even as he relished in the sight of the cock he had gotten on his knees for so many times before. you were confused at his reaction. "we're both guys, why are you embarrassed?" you were so silly sometimes. he was finally going to be made your bitch, of course he would be flustered!

with your cock teasing his entrance, he made his final invitation. "i want you to mess me up inside." he begged as he spread his virgin hole open, groaning in pain and pleasure as you pushed halfway into him. immediately, you looked up to his face in concern. "you okay? it's only halfway in..." "fuck, i said i can take it!" with that, he pushed himself onto your cock with a lewd determination, letting out an overly passionate moan as you fully entered him. instinctively, you shushed him, not wanting the neighbours to hear. "shhh! you're being too loud....." "make me." he retorts defiantly, trying to rile you up so you would be rougher. "huh?" fuck, he was really pushing it today. you really didn't want to, but he was making far too much noise. resorting to muting him forcefully, you reach for his mouth and clamp your hands over it, effectively gagging him. his eyes widen, not expecting you to take the bait, but he's in heaven. you can practically see the hearts in his eyes as he sluttily sucks on your fingers, all that's left is a series of muffled whimpers.

even though your mind was currently preoccupied with the way your boyfriend's squeezing your cock, you can't help but think about your exes after he brought the topic up. you knew you were a little dumber than most, but did all those guys really break up with you just because you were stupid? he seemed to sense your feelings and clenched harder, making you lose focus and grip his hips tightly. the thought of you thinking about your exes while you were inside him was horrible, he couldn't have that at all! "s-see, darling, my ass is much better than those sluts, isn't it- uuummfff." he could barely form words as he continued to ride you up and down, savouring the way your large length stretched his inner walls to their limit. it was quite the stark contrast - you were thrusting in and out of him at a tender pace, making sure you were never too rough (feeling a little guilty for muffling him so forcefully just now), but yet he was whimpering and writhing all over the bed, gripping the sheets whenever you hit his prostrate at regular intervals. he desperately tried to fuck himself on your cock when you slowed down, noticing his tears, begging you to start again. after a bit, you felt like you were about to reach your climax. "hey, i'm about to co-" "do it inside me." you didn't have time to argue as he pulled you closer into a hug, making you cum inside him, much to his delight. he adored the way you filled him up, feeling you pump load after load into his hole. he rubbed his stomach, wishing he could get pregnant with your child. but alas, he can't have everything. today was already a huge victory. exhausted, he collapsed into your arms as you stroked his hair, apologising for being a little rough and hoping his ass didn't hurt too much. he couldn't really focus on what you were saying as he just lay there and stared up at you affectionately. god, you were just perfect, weren't you?

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

in the middle of night, as you slept peacefully, the boy you fucked a few hours ago had just finished going through your phone, his one objective being obtaining the names of your exes. "don't worry, darling.... i'll take care of those unappreciative bastards myself. no one gets to make you feel stupid." he whispers to your ear lovingly before getting out of bed. he hoped you wouldn't be too mad when you found out he killed them when you woke up. or maybe he did, just so you could punish him. ♡

[tammyu2]

Hey guys it been a while but I’m back with some ninjago content wooo!!

Dating the ninjas include:

Lloyd

I think you guys would be a enemies to lovers. He was cautious of you at first until he started warming up to you then he became your bestie.

When he realised he like you my boy was shyyyy. But he kept it in the inside and pretended to be more tuff for you. But sometimes he would get distracted and completely lose his tuff boy persona. Things like little touches here and there. Such as you both grazed hands or you fall and he catches you.

Buddy is blushinggg- Of course he doesn’t tell the rest of the ninja but he does drop hints here and there for advice.

“Hey Im asking for a friend- how do you flirt with a girl you kinda sorta like?”

The team is sus and deffo teases him on it a lot. So every but you know.

Once you two tie the not he is clingy. Cause his parents never hugged him enough (wow that was fowl of me-)

He always touches you in some way. Like either your holding hands, his arm is around you, etc.

He will only fully trust you with his deep past (if you don’t know it by then) later on in the relationship in fear that you will leave him.

When you don’t?- man had to restrain himself from both crying and proposing then and there.

Over all he is clingy and need affirmation that you love him cause of his extreme trust issues🫶

Cole

I feel like he is the type to not stress to much over crushing on you but at the same time. If anything goes wrong then it’s the end of the world.

The type to be like “Psh it’s not that hard. Your just having a normal conversation with your crush.” But when it happens he is all like “AHH I HOPE MY BREATH DONT STINK. DID I PUT ON MY SPECIAL COLON ON TODAY??”

He confesses to you with a burnt cupcake. He tried his best okay?? Leave the poor guy alone >:|

When you guys date he is definitely more layed back and comfortable around you. He trusts you more and you know he likes you so there’s no need to worry.

He honestly seems like that classic jockey bf minus the masoginistic mindest. He is actually a heavy feminist I believe.

But he is supper proud to show you off. Every chance he gets he talks about you. Man is not afraid to show off his amazingly beautiful partner.

Lou loves you. He actually books you and Cole private seat tickets whenever he has a show and you guys are in town for it.

Overall he is a loving chilled back man that is just so inlove with you.

Zane

He is an nindroid and naturally he always knows what’s wrong with him. But for some reason whenever he us around you his circuits combust. He had an idea of what he had but how could a android such as himself possibly have.. fallen in love with you?

It takes him a while to actually understand the full extent on his feelings towards you bc you are his first. But once he does he really doesn’t change his demeanour around you. It’s not like it changes anything it’s just a subconscious thing that he knows he likes you.

He will give you little gifts tho. And always help you out with anything that involves artificial intelligence.

When you two confessed he kissed you out of nowhere leaving you a flustered mess. It went down like this:

“What the?? Zane!! You can’t kiss someone out of nowhere! You caught me off guard..”

“But is it not true that I like you and you like me so that makes us a couple? And don’t couples kiss?”

“Yes but no. I’m gonna need to sit down and explain to you how timing works aren’t I?-“

After a bit he learned more about relationships and such. He still is lost here and there but he has the hang of it down. He is quite similar to Cole and is not very concerned about your relationship. Not that he doesn’t love you. It’s just a casual thing for him.

He makes a date for you two to try your best at hard or homey recipes to test both his cooking skills but also your knowledge on food as a whole. It’s a nice bonding thing you two do.

But over all he is a non chalant protective boyfriend that is just a little confused but has the spirit anyway!

Jay

When he starts liking you it’s obvious to everyone including you. He stutters and always blurts out complements not realising you hear them. He is always nervous and sweaty and he fidgets with his hands and is a complete mess for you.

He is a blabber mouth whenever he has the chance to bring you up. And he always sighs dreamily after as if he was a Disney princess or smth.

When you two confess he was loosing it. Like man was ready to pull out his hairs from nervousness. Luckily thanks to you he was much more calmed down after.

When you two date he is at your service at you command. Anything and everything if it’s possible he will give to you if you simply ask him. He will go out his way to show you how special you are to him and how much he loves you.

If you thought lloyd was clingy? He is NEXT LEVEL! Man is literally a koala. Unless on missions he will spontaneously combust without being with you.

His parents absolutely adore you. They love you so much you may as well have been their own daughter. They always ask Jay to bring you around for lunch or something just to see you again.

Over all He is a lovey dovey boyfriend who absolutely is yours till the rest do time even if god truck him down. So he’s a huge simp.

Sorry guys I’m rlly tired I will do Nya and Kai another day. Tata! Hope you guys stay healthy and stay safe!

~Tammy<3

[holybibly]

CAPTAIN!Hongjoon pirate AU where he kidnaps you when you were wandering around the docks. He would be very possessive over you as he sees you as his own personal treasure to use whenever he pleases.

BUT! He definitely has no problem sharing you with the other members, or let them have their way with you whenever he thinks you deserve a punishment. One time, he allowed one of the members to tie you up naked against the pole in the middle of the deck, completely exposed for everyone to see. How long were you supposed to stay there? Until you’ve learned your lesson of course. You must fully understand you belong to him, and only him. Knowing the only reason the other members gets their turn with you sometimes, is because he let’s them. No other reason.

(Nice add is always being a princess who gets kidnapped by the captain and his crew. Humiliating you into fully understanding you are nothing more than their own personal play thing. No royal status for you anymoooore)

URGHHH I’m such a sucker for PIRATE! AU and nobody pulls this concept off like ATEEZ🫠

Oh, our captain. When he wants something, he is going to get it.

When he first saw you, something clicked inside him. A dark thirst for destruction was stronger than any rational thought. He should have you. You are a true princess.

Oh, you would be such a beautiful addition to his treasures, his crown's sparkling diamond.

On your wedding day, or more likely, on your wedding night, Joong would have kidnapped you. Maybe he would fuck you there, in your luxurious chambers, in front of your fiancé, to show him who you belong to.

Hongjoong would call you his precious, his true treasure, his special black pearl, but only if you were on your best behaviour. If you dared to contradict him, all cute nicknames would instantly turn into horrible, humiliating insults.

He might even slap you to teach you obedience if you pushed his buttons hard enough. Of course, Hongjoong would then treat you sweetly. He would hold you on his lap all the time and plant hot kisses on your neck until your skin was raw and red from the rough, passionate caresses.

I can easily imagine him laying your naked body on the table during a communal dinner while the other participants try to ignore your moans and sobs as their captain eats you up as the main course. Extremely dirty and loud, he wouldn't shut up about how wonderful your sweet cunt is, and he lapped up your juices as if it were the last meal of his life.

"You're dripping like a real whore. You're no longer of royal blood, are you, Princess?"

He would probably pour the wine on you so he could slowly lick it off you while his stunning cat-like eyes stared at the participants as if to say, "Look, she's mine. I can do whatever the hell I want with her."

"Tell me: Who owns this pussy? Come on, say it." He would definitely slap you in the pussy a couple of times to make you squeal and squirm.

He would make all the boys watch him enjoy your tight, pink cunt in front of their faces. Hongjoong could also have a cum on your face because he could do it.

As a punishment, he would give the boys the use of your impudent mouth, but first he would put a crown on your head with diamonds and precious stones as a form of mockery.

"Is it possible for a princess to have such a dirty mouth, full of sperm and drool?"

In the end, he was going to get what he wanted, which was to make you completely subservient to him and to destroy your royal status.

Hongjoong did everything in his power to make you realise that there was only one person on this ship who could be considered royal, and that was himself.

[lipringlrh]

“I told my mum about you.” | mm19

summary: mason’s not your boyfriend, but he might as well be. Especially when his mum thinks he is.

pairing: mason mount x fem!reader

an: in honour of the recent news. i’m glad he’s doing what best for him but it’s still sad, even though he’s (most likely) moving to my team!!!

word count: 1.1k

warnings: dodgy kissing bit xxx

feedback and reblogs appreciated!!!

…

It was a cold Friday night, you were led on the couch with Mason like most nights, cuddled up under a blanket, a film muted in the background. It was like every other evening: the two of you sharing constant kisses and compliments and talking about your future plans together, but neither of you would have it any other way.

You were led against him this time, his arm round your shoulders. You were close enough to lay your head comfortably on his neck, where you would probably end up falling asleep later, but just far enough away that you had to lean over to kiss him, stopping you from doing just that the whole night.

He was quieter tonight than usual but you didn't mind. Silence with Mason was comfortable, you could sit by him for hours and not speak. You were both perfectly content with just being next to each other.

You knew something was on his mind but you weren't entirely sure what. You knew he'd tell you when he was ready, so you didn't mind and carried on focusing on the muted film, trying to grasp any idea of what was going on.

"I told my mum about you - us." He mumbled, a mix of pride and guilt flowing through his words. He didn't mean to mention you at all, not that he didn't want to but for the reason your situation was complicated: you both liked each other and knew that, both acting on your feelings for each other but with no label or exclusivity. He got just a little too tipsy at a family meal but could help but gush about you to everyone.

"Mum, have you seen her? She's so pretty and perfect, Mum. Look." He demanded, wobbling over to her, ready to show her the fourth picture of you tonight.

"Why haven't you told me about her before if you love her this much?" She was quite confused about the situation herself. She figured if he was with someone he would've told her like he usually does, but she'd also never heard him talk about someone this way before.

"Because she's too special, Mum. I don't want to lose her. Don't you think she's beautiful? You have to meet her. Have I told you how kind she is? Or about that time when we-"

He droned on about you for hours but he didn't care, he loved talking about anything to do with you, whether it was your plans for the week or how he watched you do your hair in the morning and couldn't fathom how you did it. His mum didn't mind either, not fully knowing the situation but knowing fully you were extremely special to him.

"You've told me twice, love."

"You have to meet her, Mum. I think I might love her- I think you'd love her. You have to meet her: my girl. My girl, Mum."

"How about you bring her over next time you come round? Next Sunday, or whenever you feel like it, she sounds lovely."

"She is lovely, she's just-"

"Mason, what?" You looked at him in shock: wide-eyed and mouth open. You didn't realise he would talk about you to people other than his close circle that barely had an idea of what was going on, let alone his mum.

"She thinks we're dating, she just assumed by the way I talk about you, and I really didn't want to correct her." He didn't really know why he admitted it but he also didn't regret it after looking at your face.

"Oh." You were shocked but smiling. The fact that he didn't correct her must be a good thing, right? You didn't really know what else to say - you wanted to know every detail of what he said about you but you were now also worried about what his mum thinks.

"She wants to meet you."

You didn't really know where he was taking the conversation - you weren't his girlfriend, why would he let her think that? And how were you meant to answer him when it could all get confusing and awkward with one slip up.

"Shame, she won't," you murmured, looking away from him, trying not to let him read your face - for signs of what, you didn't know.

He grabbed your chin, gently, pulling your face up to almost reach yours. "She is. This Sunday," he whispered against your lips, barely making a sound, then attaching his lips to yours before you could speak.

You let him kiss you for a moment before registering his words and pulling back, leaving your hands on his cheek and chest.

"What do you mean she is? Mason, we're not even-"

"Not yet, we're not. I promised her she could meet you, she's so excited please, baby. I'll promise you anything."

"Mase," you whined, letting him grab your face again before pulling you in to kiss him.

He was confident but soft, neither of you taking the lead, just letting your lips brush over each other. He was grinning more the longer you went on, and you could feel it making you more giddy and eager.

One of his hands moved down to your waist, pulling you in more towards him whilst the other moved under your jaw, holding your head up. Your hands were moving from his chest up to his hair, ruffling through it. He was tender and familiar, and you felt more comfortable than ever before.

You both were eventually forced to pull away but you stayed close, resting your foreheads close to one another. His hands was still holding your head up, keeping you close, as you both listened to the others heavy breathing.

"I love you," he confessed, tightening his grip on your waist, not letting you leave. He was still trying to get his breath back but couldn't resist staring at your lips, silently begging for more.

You moved your head back as far as his hand would allow you to take a proper look at him and take him all in. Your hands were still in his hair and it wouldn't take anyone long to notice how messy you've made it, along with his slightly swollen lips. He looked like the prettiest mess.

"I love you too, Mase. So much."

"Yeah?" He broke out into a massive grin, similar to you. "You do?"

"I really do." You felt warm all over, the joy bubbling up from your stomach. It felt like a moment from your dreams.

"Kiss me then." You couldn't help but comply, leaning back into him impatiently and sealing your lips together.

please please please drop in my inbox (or whatever it’s called) on what footballers you want me to write for!!!

footballer masterlist (coming soon) |

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 4 ⟢

warnings: poor writing as i had a lot going on and low-key forgot i was even working on anything, new character makes an appearance, tiny bit of angst

word count: around 1,8k

authors note: y’all i’m not dead yet unfortunately, anyways here’s to all the baddies that are still reading 🫶🏻 you have a special spot in my heart (right next to bada’s eyebags) - 🍞

little shoutout to @luvleyk for motivating me to write again 🫶🏻

your feet swung around as you slowly sipped on your iced coffee, lips lightly wrapped around a glass straw. you thanked bada for the sweet treat, while bada thanked herself for deciding to take you here. what she deemed as a “nice gesture” was a way of preventing herself from straight up pouncing on you. you weren’t the only one who’s had sleepless nights after your “private lessons” with her. she’s reminded of it every time she walks past her dining table, sits down to eat or drinks her coffee. she keeps reminding herself to not let this go too far, not to fall in too deep, before it’s too late. she has a reputation to keep. she knows she can’t go all in, just yet. and being in a public setting saved her from doing so.

if she wasn’t your teacher could this be considered a date? you thought to yourself looking up at her, stealing glances at her and seeing her give you a soft smile in exchange. you look down immediately, shaking off the thought as it made you realise the situation. why do you always forget the actual reason she meets up with you? freaking tutoring. she’s your goddamn teacher, get a grip you crazy woman.

“oh my, is the coffee that good?” she chuckles, catching you off guard with her hand resting on her chin as she admires you, making you snap back to reality and realise you’ve been sucking on air for a while as you’ve already finished your coffee without noticing. you mentally face palm, closing your eyes in embarrassment, letting the straw go in a swift motion. “umm yeah! it was! i think they maybe might be putting… something illegal in it-“ you tried covering up your act of distraction once again.

“aww, even better than the one i made for you? that’s such a pity. i made it with love.” she fake pouts, pretending to act hurt by your words. “no! what? definitely not! doesn’t even stand a chance! yours was soooo much better, i just didn’t get the chance to fully drink it because i-“ here you go mumbling again, being too honest because you’re nervous. thankfully you stopped yourself before you could embarrass yourself even further, but fate of course made other plans for you.

“poor thing, couldn’t finish her coffee because her lips were too busy tasting mine. is that it?” she chuckles enjoying the way your eyes widen slightly, back to sipping on the straw with nonexistent coffee, the ice making your overheated brain freeze. oh how she loved teasing you, the way your body and face respond to her without you having to say a single word. she wouldn’t admit how weak she was for it, for you. “i’m just messing with you sweetie, we both know that was my fault.” she assures you, hand smoothing over yours gently. as she enjoyed your company, she almost didn’t notice the strange figure standing across the table, looking at the both of you from a sight distance. what the hell is he doing here? she shoots him a warning glare, not going unnoticed by your admiring eyes, filling them with worry.

“huh?” you turn your head in curiosity, trying to follow her gaze, but she grabbed a hold of your chin before you could do so. you could only look up at her, confusion painting your features. “shh.. don’t you worry about that, sweetie. it’s someone not important. you don’t have to wrap your mind around it.” your eyebrow furrowed in more confusion, causing her to coo at you. “i don’t want you to stress your poor little brain. it’s just someone from the past. but you’re my present, okay? that’s what matters.” she leans in closer, whispering to you reassuringly. oh.. is it her ex? you were so curious what she looks like, why they broke up, and why she doesn’t want you to see her in the first place. is it because you’re her student? is it because she’s just playing around with you? you’d surely hope not..

many questions flood your mind as you hear footsteps approaching you, seeing her face twist in pure irritation. “stay still for me, princess.” she mumbles under her breath as her thumbs make their way against your lip, the rest of her hand cupping your face as she presses her lips against them, the barrier between your lips both electrifying and slightly confusing. oh how you wish to feel her lips against yours, to have them stained bright red instead of her thumbs that shielded them..

she strokes your lip gently as you obey, closing your eyes monumentally. you hear a rough voice scoffing mumbling out a few curse words. huh..? a man? it’s a man? her ex is a man?!! your eyes open, searching for hers in approval as she nods at you, her lip stroking your bottom lip as she slowly pulls away. “good girl, did so well for me without asking..” she offers you a relieved smile as the figure walks from her sight, a soft sigh leaving her lips. “mrs. lee who was-“ you try asking her what this was all about, but she shushes you with a simple word. “nono, you don’t get to ask any questions right now. as i said.. don’t wrap your pretty head about it, hm? such a pretty girl shouldn’t worry about things like these.” you chew on your bottom lip, nodding at her despite feeling slightly hurt by her actions. why didn’t she just kiss you for real then.. is it because you’re in public? did she not want to? or did she just use you to make her ex jealous? so many questions flooded your mind but she was quick to calm you down, grabbing your hand and gently guiding you up, taking you back to her car. you sigh thinking you ruined the mood and she’s going to take you home. she opens the door for you, and sits down next to you, not putting on a seatbelt on either of you, puzzling your mind.

“now tell me what’s on your mind honey, what’s making you sad?” she turns her body to you, giving you all her attention. oh, she took you here for your comfort and privacy, what a woman. you chew on your bottom lip, looking at her red painted lips and back at her eyes. “why.. did you pretend to kiss me?” you stutter out, trying not to sound weak. your question caught her off guard, her eyebrows raising in panic. “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, i should have warned you.”

you shake your head fast, tears threatening to fall any second. “that’s not that i mean..” you look down, trying to keep yours emotions in check. why were you getting so hurt over such a thing? it’s not like you’re a couple or anything. “what did you mean, sweetie? come on, use your words.” she lifts your head with her finger on your chin, eyes meeting yours. how can she fluster you in such a situation?

“why didn’t you kiss me for real? were you ashamed.. or something?” you manage to get out as tears cloud your vision, feeling pathetic for having such feelings. she gasps not expecting your reason to be this, she was afraid you didn’t like the fact she tried to kiss you, yet the truth was far from that. “oh you silly little thing.. you thought i didn’t want to kiss you? the only reason i took you there was to restrain myself from kissing you again” she frowns seeing yours tears. “baby.. i would never want to make you cry..” she speaks out gently, her thumb stroking your cheek, rubbing at the tears staining them. “at least not in this way…” you look up at her with teary eyes, lost and about to question her words, but she crashes her lips against yours, making you gasp. more tears slide down your cheeks as you finally feel her lips on yours after what felt like ages of agony and torture of not tasting them. the faint aftertaste of bitterness from the coffee coating your palate becoming sweetly addicting to you. she strokes your cheek, hand gripping your jaw as she deepens the kiss, leaving you gasping for air as she swallows it all up. the windows of her car becoming foggy with every passing second of her lips devouring you. she pulls away, her eyes slightly watery at the sight of your tears drying up on your cheeks as she pulls you into her lap, her uneven breathing matching yours like a melody.

“never… say that again…“ she breathes out, the grip on your jaw becoming stronger as she pulls your head in closer against her lips again, coating them in tender kisses. “how could i not want to kiss you? do you even know how hard is it for me not to push you up against my table and kiss you ever time you walk into the classroom? claim you as mine? let everyone know you only belong to me?” you gasp looking up at her, her red lipstick smeared across both of your lips as you shake your head at her question.

“exactly sweetheart, you have no idea about so many things.. and they aren’t for little girls like you to worry about. be a good girl and leave them to mommy.” she breathes against your lips, hand gripping your waist making you feel like putty in her hands, being able to only nod at her command. you swear you feel yourself getting dizzy, the earlier feelings of sadness long gone and replaced by extreme waves of warmth spreading through out your whole body. she gives you one last passionate kiss, this one more gentle than the previous ones as she pulls away, resting her head on top of your head, twirling at your hair as you try to calm your breathing.

“you fit so nicely in my lap, you know that?” you blush at her remark, hands wrapped around her neck as you look up at her with glossy eyes, fingers reaching out to rub at the corners of her smudged lips, wiping away at the messed up lipstick the same way she did when you first kissed. “then don’t let me leave it..” you whisper, feeling one of her hands grip your waist harder as she looks at you in awe. as if she was in a trance. whatever spell you put on her was working, you’ve officially broken her and made her melt. all hopes and plans she had beforehand were no longer a choice, thrown out the window along with any rational thinking as she crashed her lips against yours once more, hand cradling your head, unable to hold back her desire anymore.

[aingeal98]

There are many things I dislike about the Andrew as Lash plot but the Daisy of it all gets me every time. Andrew killing so many inhumans but never her. His last act being to save her, sent by May to kill the man possessing her daughter. He rips out hearts but never hers, hers he cleanses and cradles gently. Is it because Lash's instinct is telling him that this girl will be important for the future? That she must be saved instead of killed? Or is it something much simpler? Andrew, his fondness and care for Daisy and his understanding of just how much this girl means to May. The monster can have nearly all of him, can scrape him out of his own skull, but it can't have this part of his heart. His love for May was so strong that even as Lash, even operating fully on instincts he can't understand, he still grabs the girl and runs like hell. Was Daisy saved for a special purpose? Or was she saved because of Andrew's love, and everything she did afterwards was not something Lash could predict, but simply hope for. Because it's in Daisy's nature to fight back, no matter how big and powerful the evil trying to crush her. And it's in her nature to triumph every time.

And then May, in the episode where they realise it's Andrew that's been killing people. Faced with a moral decision she doesn't feel equipped to make, after telling Andrew that he was always kinder and more empathetic than her. She relies on Coulson's orders at work because she sees that same kindness in him but this isn't work, this is something so much more personal. And so she turns to Daisy, because even more than Coulson, if she needs moral decision-making guided primarily by kindness and empathy, there is no one she will trust more with that decision than the girl who represents not just the best parts of her and Coulson but the best parts of all of SHIELD. So often in the show May is the wise mentor, trying to steer Daisy so that when life hits those rough patches (as it does very frequently) she'll have the tools in place to get back up stronger. But here May is, with all her experience and trauma, and this time she just... doesn't have the tools. She doesn't know what to do. But Daisy does. Because even before she was an inhuman, before she was a shield agent, she had a never ending amount of compassion and an unbreakable sense of moral clarity.

Daisy will wonder time and time again why so many people are comfortable sacrificing themselves for her. Why is this her fate? Why is this what they choose to do? What are they seeing that she's not?

And despite all the times that she saved the world, it's never some power of future sight that makes people like Andrew sacrifice themselves for her. It's not her power, it's not her predestined role in things, the only one who died for that reason was Raina. Everyone else who died for Daisy did it for one simple reason. Because Daisy Johnson is a good person they care about, and keeping her alive is worth the cost.

[stitchwraith-stingers]

sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely

the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes

fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"

really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most

hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all

dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)

this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)

listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Therapeutic

New drabble drop. The awaited conversation between Dream and Ccino. @spotaus you ready for another gut punch for Dream my friend :D

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

no edit or beta! :D

*-------------------*

Dream tugs on his vest as he glances at the cafe door.

He sees more people leave. As they have been for the last half hour.

It is fine! There is no reason to be nervous! He is just going to visit a place where someone works and lives who may have been kinda friends with Dream's brother!

The same brother that Dream has been actively working against because he was so convinced he knew better what was going on and instead of talking to his twin Dream decided it was smarter to trust other people's opinions who Dream had only known for a while and who were not close to his brother at all!

The same brother that seems to have disappeared and who Dream is no worried sick about while everyone around him celebrates his disappearance! Again because Dream messed up his job!

Dream leans against the wall and tries to calm his racing soul "it is fine. it is fine. it is fine. the worst that can happen is him telling you to get the fuck out and never return." which would include dream losing his one possible lead to find his brother.

Happy thoughts.

...

Dream shakes his skull. no. No forced happy thoughts. that is part of the reason he is struggling this much now.

Dream takes adeep breath and mutters to himself "let the fear be there. let it be with you. but don't let it consume you. don't let it keep you from doing what you wish to do." a bit of an exercise that Blue's Undyne had thought of for him. As she also struggles mentally with quite a few things.

Dream nods to himself and slowly nears the door to the cafe. a glance inside. just to make sure he isn't still busy. damnit the cafe is empty.

Well! Here goes nothing and everything!

He pushes the door open.

Ccino looks up and speaks with a practised smile "Welcome to the Cuddly Cat-" he stops and stares.

Dream tries to look calm but can't help himself as he slowly raises his hand and gives it a tiny wave.

Ccino's shock transforms into a glare as he hisses out "Well if it isn't the god that didn't even bother to read his own job description.".

Dream can't help but start laughing. It is almost a relieve! so many people had been trying to cheer him up and reassuring him that everyone messes up and that what he did wasn't that bad. It is so much better. He hadn't realised how badly he wanted at least one person to actually hold him accountable. To actually look him in the face and just straight up tell him he messed up.

Dream smiles brightly at Ccino as he answers "I know right? I made a mess of things… It is just…" he takes a deep breath. the hard part. Why he came here and hoped Ccino would have info. Because over the last few weeks a memory had suddenly stood out to him. cats who all looked and acted so much like others who Dream knew "I heard you have... very special cats and i was hoping to meet them?"

Ccino hesitates. Ccino keeps glaring at him but then his sight turns slightly and Dream can see him eye a piece of paper. Dream glances at it and sees his own pamphlet. He had left them in every universe he could think of to give everyone a quick update.

It is still a lot of work to continue clean up all the hatred he had unknowingly spread and promoted but it was a start.

Ccino sighs but he waves him over "make sure to turn the sign to closed please."

Dream blinks before smiling brightly as he does just that. he steps fully inside and turns the sign.

Ccino goes around quickly and closes the curtains and everything. Then he walks over to a table and just takes a seat.

Dream joins him at the table and smiles "thank you so much for doing this."

Ccino huffs as he leans on his fist "I figured you would keep bothering me otherwise."

It hurts to not be trusted nad Dream wonders if Nighty had to feel this daily. First in their own universe and than still in the multiverse. for over 500 years. actually being able to feel how everyone hated and distrusted him.

Dream rubs his hands "I... i would have respected a no... if you want i can still leave." he doesn't want to lose this chance... but he can't make stuff even worse. He just misses his brother so much. had missed him for so long already.

Ccino just waves it off and looks at him expecting.

Dream swallows and looks around the cafe for a moment before looking back at Ccino "I... i remembered that some of your cats were... special... in their looks and acting.. .and I was wondering... is it a coincidence or..."

Ccino snorts as he leans back "Yes. they are counterparts to other outcodes and important players in the multiverse. No i don't specifically look for them or get them or make them." he rolls his eye lights "They just show up at my front or back door and i let them stay. Sometimes some leave again."

Dream gives a slow nod and manages to gather his nerves "is... is... Is my brother's? Is my brother's cat okay? I... I can't remember seeing his cat and it is my brother! He is a god he has to be important and be here at least." he can't keep the desperate hope in anymore.

Ccino shrugs "being a god doesn't necessarily mean they show up here. it would be rather busy in here otherwise as there is a surprising large number of gods." he huffs and dream can hear Ccino mutter "with multiple universes completely focussed on making gods and having gods."

Dream alughs and nods "that is fair... it is just... i remember seeing a cat that was.. well... me.... I figured.. .there is no way that i would be there and not Nightmare."

Ccino snorts and grins "Every protagonist needs an antagonist after all."

Dream glares at the table before shooting him a glare "no not like that!"

Ccino tilts his skull and grins "relax. Antagonist doesn't automatically mean evil or anything. it means they are someone who goes against the protagonist and their goal." he shrugs "seeing as we both know nightmare had been right and you were wrong. he was still the antagonist in your story."

Dream shakes his skull "he wasn't!"

Ccino glares at him "it isn't like you left him any other role to play."

it hurts so much to know that and Dream glares "i know! Okay?! I know I messed up. I just want to find him and apologise. i need to tell him i am sorry and that he was right." that Dream lvoes him. that he is sorry. and that... that it is okay if nightmare hates him... that dream would deserve that but dream needs to make sure that nightmare knows he is sorry. that Dream regrets everything and is trying to make it right again.

Ccino stares at him before sighing and getting up. he walks towards the cattree and Dream feels his hopes fall. he is going to be send away... not even a single clue and-

very angry cat meowing as Dream watches his own counterpart cat be pushed into a side room and the door to close. Next ccino goes to the counter. He dips behind it and Dream hears a cabinet open.

After he hears panicked meowing as Ccino rises again. in his arms a large cat. maybe a main coone? but Dream feels himself start to hope as he can spot four large tails and one slow blinking cyan eye.

That is... oh fuck... that actually is!

Ccino wlaks over as three cats follow him on the ground. Dream looks at them and it is pretty obvious it are Killer, Cross and Horror. Dream wonders why they are following when he sees the cat and feels his soul grow cold.

Nightmare's.... his cat looks sick and tired.

Ccino sits in a chair closer to Dream as he gently pets the cat. Nightmare's cat purrs and leans into the touches.

Killer's cat jumps on the table and meows loudly before marching over to Ccino's side and nudging his arm. Ccino stops with petting and Killer's cat stands partly in Ccino's lap to nuzzle and clean ngihtmare's cat.

Dream looks at ccino "waht... why is he...?"

Ccino answers softly "sick? tired? older? I don't know. I have no idea what caused this..." he loks so sad as he pets the cat "I never saw anything like this before..."

Dream remembers his own weakening powers. the way he had been slowly but surely loosing his own powers and magic as he has lost his domain.

This confirms it... Nightmare's also lost his... but he was being kept alive by said magic and powers.

Dream raises a shaky hand "can i... cna i try to heal him?" anything. please let him try.

Ccino looks very unsure and loks at the cats before looking back at the door where Dream can hear his own cat version scream its head off.

Ccino sighs and nods "you can try. nothing the vet did seemed to help him much. he is just... much older now according to him."

Dream still tries. he first pets the cat gently. the goop feels strange but comforting. Dream never thought he would think of the goop like that. he had believed for so long that the goop had taken his brother from him. that it was something to be removed. But if the goop was just the apples magic trying to keep him whole? How could dream hate it? How could he hate something that saved his brother?

Now it is his turn.

He holds his hand near the rib cage of the cat and he can see NGihtmare's cat shoot him a suspicious look.

Ccino chuckles "i wouldn't touch a cat's belly if i were you. that is a very strict no-touching zone for most of them, no matter who you are."

dream shoots him a smile "that is okay. i wasn't going to touch him there." and even if he wouldn't mind too much. he focusses the little magic he still has and tries to heal the cat.

His magic doesn't touch anything that could be healed. according to his magic everything going on wiht the cat is natural and normal. there is nothing to heal.

Dream frowns as he pulls his hand back and looks sad at nightmare's cat. Dream can't even help him like this...

Ccino sighs but seems unsurprised "I figured as much... don't feel bad. the vet already tried healing magic himself. I just try to make sure he can relax and rest."

Dream frowns at the door "why keep... my cat version away from him?" doens't he hear how desperate his cat is calling for nightmare's?

Ccino looks to the side and shrugs "i mean... before when these two got near each other your cat would... well... attack... all the time. It was saver for both to keep them seperated. and now wiht him weaker... I just didn't want to risk it." ccino pets the old cat.

Dream's hand forms fists as he glares down. his sockets itch with tears but he forces them in. this isn't about you. this isn't about you. your brother is dying somewhere. this isn't the time to make this about you or your pain. you don't even have the right to feel the pain. you are part if not the whole reason this happened.

Ccino gets up and takes nightmare's cat with him again. Dream wants to stop him. beg him to just let him hold his brother's counterpart. if only for a little while. but he doesn't.

Dream remembers how his own aura and the goop could get when they met in battle. he doesnt want to risk making it worse.

ccino returns to their table. also the other three following him gone again.

Dream feels hopeful and stares at him "his... his gang cats stay with him?"

Ccino blinks but grins "yeah. all the time. there is always at least one wiht him."

Dream sighs and smiles "that is good... that... that should mean he has them with him now right? that he isn't alone?" at least?

Ccino shrugs "it means there is no animosity between them all. that they all care. that is all i am sure about."

drema nods and rubs his arm "why... why don't people remember this? I get why you don't tell but how come no one notices?"

ccino shrugs "i am not sure how. people just don't. if anyone is willing to hurt someone within the cat group? they just.. don't notice or remember. it is why i am even willing to have this conversation. you remembering implies you won't hurt him."

dream feels himself relax and nods "i won't" never again.

Ccino nods "i figured... but that is what i know. i don't have any othr information for you."

dream smiles "that is okay... he is alive... and most likely not alone. that is more than i knew before." he may not be able to find nightmare fast. but he has a place where he can go to check if nghtmare is still alive. and then while he waits for their meeting. Drema can work on himself.

He can work on teaching the multiverse the truth and find his own calling.

Dream can work on his own trauma nad heal.

All while he searches for his brother.

This? This just showed that it isn't too late. His brother is still somewhere and there is time to fix this mess.

It won't be easy. but he can fix this. and that gives him hope.

*-------------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[marumaruz-haikyuu-agere]

Hq disability Headcanons

A somewhat detailed list of my haikyuu medical headcanons

Nishinoya Yuu - Type 1 diabetes and sensory neuropathy

Was diagnosed at 5

Inherited from parents

Prefers an insulin pump to insulin injections

Diabetes causes his sensory neuropathy

Nerve damage in his arms causing bruises because he can't tell when to stop practicing

Kenma Kozume - Hearing loss in both ears, noise damage

Plays games and music with the volume too high causing damage from all the years he's been doing it

Doesn't like to admit that he has hearing problems

Uses CIC (Completely In the Canal) hearing aids because they're small and unnoticeable

Also uses his hair to cover them because even when he knows they're hard to see he's still pretty self-conscious about them

Tendou Satori - Vitamin B deficiency, Motor Neuropathy, Audhd

Tendou has a vitamin B12 deficiency which results in him developing peripheral neuropathy, more specifically motor neuropathy

It causes him muscle spasms/twitching and gives him a barely noticeable foot drop

I think he has Audhd and struggles with paying attention and wanting to move around a lot

He doesn't have a specific hyperfixation exactly but is full of lots of little facts about lots of things

Hinata Shoyo - Audhd, Dyspraxia

I don't think i really need to explain Hinata's Audhd but I will anyways

It's one of the reasons he has so much energy while he's practicing, because he already struggles with staying still but also because it's one of his special interests

It helps him more if things are explained at the speed his brainis going instead of going slowly

I think he has Dyspraxia too because it explains a lot of his struggles in volleyball

It also ties into why the quick attack pair works so well because Hinata has to focus less on getting everything right himself and can put his attention into his motor skills

Oikawa Tooru - Osteoarthritis

Osteoarthritis is pretty common

It causes joint pain and stiffness in most cases

And it's most common in places like the knees

It's usually from old age but in Oikawa's case it's from trying to play after an injury without letting it fully heal

But he refuses to admit that he has a problem

Kageyama Tobio - Dyslexia

He's incredibly dyslexic

Nobody knows though, everyone just thinks he's really dumb

He has consulted someone about it unfortunately he talked to Hinata who also has mild dyslexia mixed with the fact that his eyes won't stay on one point on his page

They both think that letters and numbers do that for everyone and that they just haven't figured out how to read it properly

Ushijima Wakatoshi - Autism

Definitely autistic

Pretty high functioning though

He's pretty slow on some social cues but the basic ones have been worked out in his brain

He has quite a high tolerance for most stuff but he's not the biggest fan of messing up schedules

Tsukishima Kei - Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

Was partially inherited because Akiteru showed signs of it but not enough for a diagnosis

I think he specifically has cEDS (Classical EDS) because it fits him the most

I think he's been pretty used to his joints dislocating sometimes but doesn't realise that everyoen else around him isn't

The first time Yachi saw it she almost fainted

Particularly with cEDS people have easily bruised/breakable skin on their forehead, knees, shins and elbows

He has a few pretty big scars on his knees and shins from when he was a kid

They're also quite wide because with cEDS wounds heal quite slowly and leave wide scars

Bokuto Koutaro - Borderline Personality Disorder

This wasn't originally my idea (He wasn't actually going to be on here but it got pointed out to me yesterday)

BPD comes in four stages, Emotional instability, Disturbed patterns of thinking, Impulsive behaviour and Unstable relationships

With emotional instability it's usually intense negative emotions and severe mood swings which could contribute to his 'emo modes'

During disturbed patterns of thinking he'd get upsetting thoughts (like his emo mode) and hallucinations and distressing thoughts that he can't be talked out of

Impulsive behaviour is one i think he has less negatively but it's commonly negative in most cases

His impulsive behaviours are less harmful to himself and others

Unstable relationships are when he attaches himself to someone and I think that person/people would be Akaashi and Kuroo

Them trying to leave him would not go well, it's why he contacts them all the time because he doesn't like the feeling that they might leave him

[pauking5]

Under the Mistletoe 🍒🌿

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader

Genre: tooth-rotting fluff, mutual pining,

Word Count: 5.3k+

A/N: I did promise you more Zoro so here it is! This one has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I didn't really feel like posting it but something told me to do it now. Merry belated Christmas everyone and happy holidays! Hope you like it :)

ps: Thank you to @jiyaxedits for these really pretty dividers! They put me out of my misery a little 🫶

Zoro wasn't big on celebrations. Birthdays or holidays didn't really exist in his vocabulary for the sole reason that he was happy to drink on any occasion. He didn't need a date in the calendar to tell him when to open a bottle of alcohol.

That was until you joined the straw hats.

You were the total opposite of his detached nature to almost everything that required an extra emotional effort. Even with that, it wasn't long until you piqued his curiosity.

Observing you, he came to the conclusion that you were emotion in pure form. You showed your caring nature for people in any way you could. Whether it was by helping out one of your fellow crew mates with something or just trying to ease their own load, you were always there. He didn't think much of it until he felt self-conscious enough to get involved and help out like you did. He wouldn't admit it but you had an influence on him.

The more time you spent together the more he was drawn to you, seeing things in a different light. Before he knew it, all those random dates in the calendar held some kind of meaning to him because they held a special meaning to you.

Although, he still didn't fully understand why you got so excited whenever one of those dates would approach. You would spend days planning the activities for the day, often going out for your way.

You would go over a special menu with Sanji, making sure all meals of the day and the dessert were covered. Then you would take Nami shopping for decorations wherever you happened to be docked, picking things that encapsulated the occasion. Usopp would also pitch in with helping you put the decorations up and add a tad bit more cheer to the atmosphere.

He noticed you and Luffy made a great team when it came to picking out small attentions for the crew. You both knew the crew better than anyone and it showed not just on those days, but the ordinary ones too.

In short, everyone became an extension of your excitement for the day. Well, everyone except Zoro.

You knew he wasn't used to the whole we are a family thing and you planned on changing that.

When you joined the crew he was really reserved. But after spending some time together, you managed to crack him open. You learned more about him, what he liked and what he disliked.

You tried pulling him out of his stoic bubble and it seemed to work because little by little, he started helping out too. It was small things like helping you fix the table before the food was served or picking the drinks out by preference of each straw hat. That's where you noticed that his love language was acts of service.

As small as they were, those acts were sincere and full of kindness. Whenever someone thanked him for his help, you would catch a glimpse of his face lighting up, the rarest smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

He cared and protected people in that way. It spoke volumes of his love he had for his crew and you admired that. Even if he didn't realise the impact he had, especially on you.

The winter holidays were approaching fast, but it seemed like the cheer was absent on the Going Merry. The latest adventure left the crew exhausted and without a trace of enthusiasm. So much, that it was Christmas Eve and you didn't have a tree up, festive decorations hung around the ship or any food ready to munch on.

Out of all yearly celebrations, Christmas held a special place in your heart. It was a time to get together with your loved ones and celebrate the bond you have.

This would be your first Christmas with the crew and you have been looking forward to it for a while. They made you feel so appreciated and welcomed into their own little family and you wanted to return the appreciation.

So, bracing for your proposal to be rejected and a small hope that it would be accepted, you marched around the ship like an elf and pulled everyone out of their rooms and onto the deck.

Most of them didn't look too happy to be disturbed. Nami was in the middle of working on a map and she almost put her foot through your face for pulling her away from it. Sanji was putting some clean dishes away when you dragged him out, wet towel hastily tossed on his shoulder in the process. Luffy and Usopp were already on deck messing around. They seemed to be the only ones a little ecstatic for what you wanted to tell them.

But before you could start your speech, you noticed a certain straw hat was still missing.

Zoro was the hardest one to find, especially when he didn't want to be found. You searched his room, both the upper and lower decks, including the storage room filled with alcohol barrels and bottles. There was no sign of his presence anywhere on the ship.

You were ready to give up until you remembered there was one place you didn't search in, the crow's nest. And that's exactly where you found him, napping the day away.

Too engrossed in rushing to get everyone on deck, you were about to shake his shoulder. But as your eyes registered the sight in front of you, you halted all movement.

You saw him napping before, but none of those times did he look so deep in restful sleep like he did now.

He laid on his back, one of his hands propping up his head like a pillow, His legs were placed against the wooden mast. His body was angled in a way that the mast cast a shadow big enough to shelter his eyes from the early afternoon sun. His chest rose up slowly in sync with his soft snores, mouth slightly open. The light made his green hair look so soft that it took everything in you not to rake your hands through it.

There was something about him that put you at peace. Maybe it was the way his earrings jingled against each other and you knew he was nearby. Or the way his deep brown eyes changed to a warmer shade of chocolate while watching the sunset with you. You fell for those eyes of his a while ago and you didn't want to stop the bottomless drop at all.

Everything about him was peace to you. Even during battle, when he sliced through enemies and his blades were drenched in dirt. Or when he teased his crew members about something, with anything but good intentions in his head. Despite his hellish reputation, to you it felt like the heavens sent him down to earth. To fight and protect what he believed in with his all, laying down his own heart on the blade of his swords.

Your thoughts were cut short as the man before you stirred awake.

He sensed your presence for a while and contemplated whether he should make you aware that he knew you were staring at him. He wondered what you were sighing so softly at and couldn't hold in his curiosity anymore.

He opened his eyes to find you sitting down next to him. Your eyes locked with his and you just gazed at each other for a while. Adjusting the hand behind his head, he tilted it to get a better look at you.

You had that smile on your face, the one that grew on him the past months you've spent together. One look at it and it made every single one of his worries disappear into thin air.

That's the impact your whole presence had on him. Besides pure emotion you were also tranquility and harmony, while he was chaos and destruction. You neutralised his worst fears when he needed it the most with just that one smile and he couldn't get enough of it.

Your eyes suddenly went wide with realisation. You were supposed to get back to the other straw hats with him in tow a while ago. Wrapping your hand around his free one you tugged him up with you.

"Whoa, slow down. What's the rush?"

"You. Me. Downstairs. Now. Will explain in a bit."

He let you pull him downstairs on the deck where everyone else waited expectantly.

"Sleeping beauty decided to finally join us," joked Sanji.

"Is that a compliment, sandwich maker?"

"We thought you ditched us for a second," added Usopp, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

You and Zoro were both confused. But then it hit you that something warm surrounded your palm. You looked down to see his hand securely intertwined with yours. Your hand was definitely on his forearm when you left the crow's nest. He probably caught your hand in the rush of pulling him down the stairs to avoid breaking his neck.

His eyes followed your widened ones to see your hands together.

He held your hand before, when he would hand you a plate with food or to help you down from the ship onto land. But not once did he hold it fully like this. His palm was entirely enclosed around yours. Your hand looked so small in his. Like it fit just right with his larger one.

You let go first and he hesitated a little. He wanted to hold it a bit longer. To study all the ridges on your knuckles as his fingers would thread between yours. To just hold them.

But he was conscious of the four pairs of eyes darting between the two of you and he let go of your hand, going back to his serious self beside you.

Shaking the awkwardness away, you turned back to the crew, remembering the task at hand.

"So, I gathered you all here today because it's Christmas Eve!" you said, waving your hands around enthusiastically, though your joy wasn't that well received on the other end.

"Okay and?" asked Nami, rather devoid of the holiday spirit.

"What do you mean okay and?! It's Christmas Eve! We don't have a tree up, decorations or any food to properly celebrate."

"I don't get why we need to celebrate a white bearded old man breaking into people's houses every year," deadpanned Nami.

"Yeah, I kinda have to agree with her on that," said Zoro, scratching the back of his neck.

"It's not just about Santa. We also celebrate the appreciation and love we share together as a crew," you stated. You took to walking around the deck, as their eyes followed you trying to make sense of your behaviour.

"Christmas is about making new memories by spending time together. It's putting up decorations and dressing up silly. We could set up our Christmas tree here," you pointed to the tall mast in the middle. "String a few sets of lights up from the jolly roger all the way down the veils to the decks, like a multi-coloured umbrella," you said excitedly, turning back around to them.

"Christmas is also a time to reflect back on the past year and talk about our best moments over a hearty dinner. It's a moment where we all get to be honest with each other. To share the hope, the joy and the love we hold for each other," you concluded.

You looked at them with hopeful eyes, earnestly wishing they will understand why you were so hellbent on doing something for the day.

But all you got in response to your speech was unsure neck rubs and a sense that you were the only one who wanted to celebrate today.

You felt like your excitement was maybe a little too much this time. Maybe they really just wanted a peaceful night in, doing whatever they had planned by themselves.

None of them were saying anything and it only made your uncertainty grow inside.

Maybe forgetting any of this even happened was better than making them feel like they should be doing something they weren't comfortable with.

Defeated, you took a step back and decided to retaliate.

"Actually, we don't need to do anything extra today. We can just chill out and all," you laughed nervously. "Sorry for bringing you guys out here for nothing."

You mumbled the last part and turned on your heels to make your way back to your room. Maybe not saying anything would have been better than whatever that was.

The crew remained on deck after you left. If anyone felt defeated it certainly wasn't you, but them. Especially the green-haired swordsman.

His mind was stuck on you. On the way your eyes twinkled with joy the more you gestured around you how you pictured everything. On the smile that never left your lips as you spoke of what the holiday means to you. And the fact that you wanted to spend this with them, your current family.

For him, the concept of family was a hard one to grasp. He didn't think he would ever feel as welcomed as he felt with the family he had back at the dojo. With Kuina.

He thought he would never be able to find a place he belonged. Until he came across the straw hats. They annoyed him, pestered him, drove him crazy most of the time. But they cared. They fully supported his dream to become the greatest swordsman in the world, without doubting his ambition or his skills in the slightest. And that meant a lot to him.

They grew on him and they felt like family. That included you too. It was you who showed him how to give back to the people that support you relentlessly. It was you who taught him that opening up to people wasn't selfish. That he should be open to not just giving but receiving too. The straw hats had a lot of love for him and they would stop at nothing to show it.

That's what you did a few moments ago. You put yourself out there, doing everything to convince them that celebrating shouldn't be a chore. That you wanted to celebrate your new found family.

He felt his heart break when he watched you back away like that. He knew you were beating yourself up for it, for thinking you were too much. But that wasn't true. He wanted to tell you that he wanted to celebrate with you. But it took him a while to register everything you said and that was one of the things he was working on.

By the looks on their faces, everyone was questioning themselves now. Searching for some kind of meaning that Christmas could have for them. Somewhere, deep down inside their hearts, they wanted to celebrate this too, just as much as you did.

Something seemed to click in their heads after a while, their eyes connecting in a knowing look. You could consider them convinced because they took the initiative themselves. It just took a while for your words to process.

"You know what, she's right," started Sanji. "I haven't cooked a hearty Christmas meal for ages. I could do with a roast, some eggnog and a cake."

"I can clean up around here a little. Get the table out here and some chairs," chimed Usopp.

"We could go into town and see what decorations we can find," added Luffy, linking his arm with Nami's in excitement.

"All we need is someone to go and get a Christmas tree," said Nami.

All eyes moved to the green-haired man leaning on the stair railing. He was the only one who hasn't pitched in with anything yet and they all looked at him expectantly.

He, on the other hand, did not seem to get the idea, looking back at everyone slightly confused.

"What?"

"You really are an idiot," face palmed Nami.

"Hey! Why are you calling me an idiot?"

"She was suggesting you would go and get a tree that we could put up over here," said Usopp, motioning to the mast. He realised that it was the spot you said you wanted it to be in.

"Why me?"

"You're forgetting you're the more muscular one out of all of us," uttered Nami, pinching his bicep. She thought that if she spoke to his ego he would realise what he needed to do sooner. "You don't expect me to carry it back to the ship now do you?"

"Fair point."

Finally, with tasks assigned and a plan for battle in place the straw hats took to their duties. They decided Christmas would happen this year, though it would take some work. And possibly a miracle.

It's been a while since you retreated back to your room. You stared at the Christmas plan you had written down on several sheets of paper on your nightstand, tracing the colour coded activities as you sighed. Maybe next year.

A knock on your door pulled you from zoning out. The light from outside dimmed down and the sun was just about to set, telling you it's been hours since your Christmas show on deck.

You walked to the door, wondering who it could be. It was probably Luffy, coming to check on you. But you were surprised to open it and find a rather distressed Nami. She had a weird smile on her face that was unlike her. What was even weirder was the silver tinsel hanging around her neck and the red and white santa hat on her head.

"We need some help out on the deck," she smiled wider, holding out a bag filled with different colored tinsel to you.

Your frown was instantly replaced by a smile matching hers as you took the bag from her hand.

"What made you change your mind?"

"You did," she said, pulling you into a hug that you returned. "We were too deep inside of our heads to see the bigger picture. We gave it some thought and realised you were right, so we got down to business."

You separated and walked down the halls. The walls inside the ship were decorated with lights all the way to the doors leading on deck. Nami's smile only got brighter the closer you got to the kitchen because you opened the doors and got hit with the most Christmas-like smell: Sanji's special roast. He just pulled it out of the oven, steam rising in the air spreading a divine aroma. But that wasn't the only thing cooking.

The oven was still working, baking a few batches of cookies in all kinds of shapes. A warm scent of cinnamon embraced you, followed by zesty citrus touches.

"It smelles like heaven in here, Sanji!"

"I'm glad angel," he smiled at you warmly.

Nami beckoned you outside. Luffy and Usopp were up in the crow's nest, struggling to untangle what looked like five rows of lights to hang from the jolly roger down to the veils. Just like you told them you wanted them.

You quickly climbed up to them with Nami in tow to help them before they could get hurt.

"Guys, you didn't have to do all this."

"Of course we did!" jumped Luffy. "You do so much for us and it was about time we paid you back."

"Well, at least let me help with the rest."

"Please do!" cried Usopp. He was tangled in one of the light sets from top to bottom.

"We could use you as a Christmas tree instead," joked Nami. "We just have to plug you in."

Everyone laughed at that. This was the atmosphere you desperately wanted, with the people you loved the most. It was where you belonged.

The only one you haven't seen around was Zoro. No one mentioned his whereabouts. All you heard was Nami complain that he's been gone for hours and that he ahd one of the easiest tasks to do. Maybe Christmas was a little too celebratory for him.

You just finished hanging up the last set of lights from the crow's nest when you heard grunts and enraged thudding of boots on the main deck. You made your way down only to be met with a sight for the history books.

There he was, hidden by a sturdy tree that was a shade of green darker than his hair. He carried it on his shoulders like it weighed nothing. But then again, he was Zoro. It must be something normal for him.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him. The look on his face told you he was a bit annoyed. Well, by the way his jaw ticked, probably very annoyed at the fact that no one rushed to help him with the huge wood angled on his back.

Luffy and Usopp got the idea and rushed to take it off his shoulders. They lifted it up on its trunk and that's when you all noticed the tree was actually massive.

Zoro rolled his shoulders to get rid of the ache in them and proceeded to dust his clothes off the tree's fallen pine needles that were scattered across his body.

"We thought you got lost," said Nami.

"Well, I did get lost," he deadpanned.

A lot of pine needles got stuck in his hair. He shook his head around to get rid of them but there were still some sticking out between his green strands. He raked his hand through them but he still couldn't get them out. He huffed frustrated in defeat and you decided to put him out of his misery.

Walking in front of him, you got on your tip toes, reaching out with your hand to whip the rest of the needles out. He froze in place, hands mid-way to his scalp to do it himself. He let them back down to his sides and watched as you took them out of his hair one by one and threw them away on the ground.

You had your bottom lip between your teeth, focused on getting the little fuckers out. He bent his knees so it would be easier for you to work on finding them without having to stay on your tip toes for too long. Once you were done and your heels were flat on the ground, you clapped your hands to get rid of any leftover pine needles. When your eyes lifted back up you realised just how close you were standing as you were eye to eye with him. You sucked in a breath as his eyes studied your face.

He was happy to see that you had a smile on your face this time, which was a hundred times better than that frown you had when you went to your room a few hours ago. In return for that bright smile of yours you always gave him, he gave you one of his own.

This smile was new, more rare than the smile he usually wore around you. You could literally see his pearly teeth. The muscles in his cheeks pulled the edge of his lips to curve up and his eyes crinkled into crescents. It was like a half smile, half smirk kind of smile. And it drove you absolutely crazy.

Who was he and what did he do with Roronoa Zoro?

"Uh, Zoro? Why does the tree have pine cones on it?" asked a confused Usopp.

His smile fell, eyes narrowing on the straw hat behind you.

"Is that not how it's supposed to be?"

"Where did you get it from?" asked Nami. "It's been hours since you went out."

"The woods," he said proudly, hands on his hips.

Everyone burst out laughing at his words, including you. This was too good to be true.

By the looks of it, he used his swords to chop it down. The few tears in his shirt told you the tree fought him a little for cutting it down.

"What are you all laughing for now?"

"There were trees for sale, already cut up in town," wheezed Nami through her giggles.

"I knew that," he said, hands coming to sit around his chest. You narrowed your eyes at him this time and he scoffed, averting his eyes from you.

"Fine! I didn't. I just wanted to get you the real thing."

"That is the real thing too," said Luffy.

"You know what, next time you can all take goldi-locks over there tree shopping. I doubt he'll do a better job at it."

"I heard you, peahead. And I will take you up on the challenge," shouted Sanji from the kitchen.

Zoro helped you to fix the table and lay down the new silver cloth Luffy and Nami bought. It was so long, but so nicely decorated with white snowflakes falling off the edges and different winter patterns drawn along it. You both lifted it up and spread it across the table, smoothing out the ridges from the middle to the edges. One of the longer corners got caught under the leg of the wooden table and you struggled to pull it out.

Zoro rushed over to you. He dove under the table and saw the material was caught in a piece of wood that was sticking out. He unwrapped it and moved to hand it to you just as your hands reached out for it. Your fingers touched again for the second time today and it caught you both in a daze. He gazed at you and you stared at him, feeling like you were transported to a different world.

He leaned in closer to you and you did too. The way his eyes focused on your lips told you that he wanted to seal yours with his. Your lips almost touched, if it wasn't for the unwanted interruption.

"Is the table done, lovebirds?"

You were snapped out of zoning out into each other's eyes. You both looked to your right to see the rest of the straw hats looking at you. You let go of each others hands and went back to getting the table ready.

Zoro brought over cutlery and plates from the kitchen and you arranged them around the table. He also got some glasses and drinks, placing them by preference to everyone's assigned seats.

Finally, Sanji brought the food over and everyone dove in before the steam evaporated completely from the roast. A tray with six eggnog glasses was then served and you all clinked your glasses together, toasting to the crew. You looked around at everyone sat around the table and it finally felt like the holidays.

Zoro was sat next to you nursing a glass of red wine. He couldn't tell if it was the alcohol, the festive cheer or you that had a strange sense of peace wash over him. Like he did not have a worry in the world.

He looked at you from time to time absolutely enthralled by the way your laugh bounced in his ears. You were laughing at one of Usopp's stories that was most likely glazed with little reality and over the top sarcasm. The origins of the story didn't matter, because you seemed to love it by the way the corners of your mouth curled in a knowing smirk. Your eyes crinkled in delight every time he would reach a point in the tale that was too funny not to laugh at and you would let that laugh out and he would laugh with you. It was slowly becoming his favorite sound.

In the midst of it all he found himself smiling at you and the crew that was now his home. Maybe celebrating things wasn't that bad. Especially if they were things that mattered to him.

After dinner, the crew dispersed to each their own. You wandered to the tree and sat in front of it, staring at it in awe. Multi-coloured baubles decorated it so joyfully, together with random kitschy ones. The tinsel waved around every corner, acting like an twinkling extension of the tree itself. More lights were wrapped around it, carefully placed around the pine cones. You chuckled remembering how badly Nami wanted to take them all off and you argued with her to just leave it be. Despite looking as wild as you could get it, it was the perfect Christmas tree.

Zoro was looking for you and found you in front of the tree. You looked so at peace as the lights twinkled, just like your eyes did as you looked at it. He thought that maybe having pine needles even in his boxers was worth it to see you smile that bright at the fully decorated tree.

"I hope it's to your liking," he said, walking beside you.

"It is," you smiled at him. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I've got one more thing for you."

You eyebrows raised in curiosity as you wondered what it could be. You already opened gifts at the dinner table so it couldn't be that.

"Close your eyes," he instructed.

You did as he told you and waited. He told you to open them and you saw him looking up, smirking at something. You followed his eyes to see a small twig with green leaves and red berries toed to a tree branch above you with a piece of ribbon. You instantly recognised it to be mistletoe.

"Did you just tie that up there?" you chuckled.

"Well, that diminishes the surprise effect."

You wondered if he knew what the plant's meaning was, especially on Christmas. Or if he just got it because it looked pretty in the woods. That was a possibility that kept your heartbeat from rising dangerously.

The confusion on your face told him you weren't sure of his intentions and he decided to make them somewhat clearer for you.

You were busy gauging the meaning of this by staring at the mistletoe. He took a step towards you closer to you, stopping as the tip of your boots touched. You lowered your eyes from the mistletoe only to find him almost nose to nose with you. He grabbed a hold of your hand with his free one, lacing your fingers together and pulled you even closer.

"So, does the man who doesn't celebrate holidays know anything about the mistletoe tradition?" you asked, getting a little closer to him.

"I might be an idiot sometimes, but I do know this much," he scoffed, signature smirk on his face.

"Hmm. You don't look so sure of that," you teased, playing with the hem of his shirt absentmindedly.

"How about I show you then?"

Your breath hitched in your throat as he dipped his head closer to yours. His eyes hungrily darted between yours and your lips waiting for your approval to finally kiss you.

"Want to do the honours?" you asked biting your lower lip in expectation.

"Gladly," he breathed out, closing the distance between you.

It turned out your palms weren't the only ones that fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Your lips did too, moving in sync with desire. Your free hand fisted his shirt to pull him closer as his free one came to sit at the back of your head pulling you impossibly closer. You felt him smile against your lips and you couldn't help but do it too, smilling against his.

You broke apart for air, foreheads pressed flush against each other. Your hands were still laced together, his thumb tracing the outline of your palm.

"This is the best Christmas ever," you breathed out.

He chuckled at that. His hand moved from the back of your head to cup your cheek and your hand came to rest on his wrist. You leaned into his touch, laying a kiss of appreciation on his palm. He smiled at you and that's where you knew that you wanted to spend all your holidays with him. Just like this.

It seemed like you spoke your mind out loud because he grinned widely at you. You buried your head in his chest in embarrasment as he laughed at your adorableness.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to spend them with either," said Zoro, laying your heart at ease.

Thank you for reading! As always, comments, likes and reblogs are welcome!

[bullet-prooflove]

Crime Wave: David Hale x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @hatersaremymotivators bennykk kelpies-shed

Companion piece to Graffiti

David Hale wants to court you.

It surprises you because up until now the men in your life have been interested in one thing and one only and that’s fucking you.

When he calls you that night, you fully expect it to be a booty call. It’s past ten pm and you’re curled up in your arm chair, listening to the sounds of the 70s, 80s,and 90s over the radio as you sketch out a scene from the café on Main Steet earlier today. It’s nothing special, just a flower that you saw in a glass of water but you haven’t been able to get it out of your head so you’re committing it to paper. That’s usually how your art comes to you, you see something in the wild that sticks in your brain and you can’t let it go, not until you’ve drawn it.

Usually it’s people. You have entire sketchbooks dedicated to folks you don’t know the names of because you’re fascinated by their posture and facial expressions. It’s the reason you decided to draw David this morning.

When you met it had seemed like he carried the weight of the world up on his shoulders but in that moment, asleep in your bed, he’d seemed relaxed, free. You’d wanted to capture that. You didn’t intend to give the picture away and the phone number had been a last minute addition, hastily scrawled as he was heading out the door.

The truth is you never expected him to call.

“Don’t tell me it took you this long to find my number.” You tease after he greets you.

He laughs and that sound, you don’t realise how much you’ve missed it during the twelve hours you’ve been apart.

“It’s been a busy night.” He tells you as he sits at his desk, reviewing the arrest reports. “It’s been hard to find a moment between throwing the regulars in the drunk tank and arresting delinquents for drawing dicks on other people’s property. It seems you’ve started a trend, one that’s going viral.”

“You’re kidding right?” You say, tapping your pencil on the surface of your sketchpad and you can envision him shaking his head with that amused expression of his as he surveys the evidence.

“I wish I was.” He tells you and you hear the chair creak as he leans back in it. “Cars, mailboxes, shop windows. You’ve inspired a crime wave.”

“Honestly David, I’m so fucking embarrassed.” You say as you press your fingertips to your lips. “Let me make it up to you.”

“This is dinner and a movie at least.” He tells you with a humorous lilt to his voice. “I can give you a tour of your handiwork afterwards, we can rate them, biggest to smallest, most anatomically accurate…”

You can’t help but laugh and on the opposite end of the line David feels something blossoming in his chest.

“I actually took some pictures for evidentiary purposes if you’d like a preview.” He tells you as he scrolls through his phone. “I thought I’d ask as I’m against sending unsolicited dick pics to women I’ve just met.”

“That implies you’ve sent some to women you do know in the past.” You tease and you swear you can feel the blush creeping across his cheeks as he clears his throat.

“I can neither confirm or deny…”

“Some would consider it a form of art.” You say as you survey the images he’s just sent you. There’s some real creativity going on in these pictures, you’ve never seen such a variation of cocks. You wonder if you should be putting together some sort of art installation.

“Like your life modelling?” He prompts and you tune back into the conversation.

“Does that bother you?” You ask him. “That other people see me naked on a regular basis?”

It’s been a source of contention with most of your previous partners. They don’t understand that life modelling isn’t about sex, it’s about the art form, about providing a subject for students to learn from, to develop. It’s not a job for just anybody, you have to be comfortable with yourself, sociable enough to put the artists at ease especially in the beginning stages of their journey.

“No.” He says and you can tell he means it. “You have a beautiful body.”

It’s your turn to blush.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” You ask him and he hesitates.

“Yes.” He says finally. “But I think we should wait for that dinner and a movie.”

You read between the lines.

I want to fuck you, but I want to date you too.

“Tomorrow night.” You say as you scroll through your phone searching for the movie listings. “I’m free tomorrow night.”

Love David? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[sky-scribbles]

I never thought I'd be grateful for a game crashing so hard it erased three hours of play. But right now, I am. Because pre-crash, I decided to have Gale talk to Mystra before his Outer Plane boat ride scene. Once I realoded, I had him talk to her after. And I am so glad to have seen the difference.

When Gale speaks to Mystra without you having talked to him in the Outer Planes first, his first response on returning is to launch straight into talking about the Karsite Weave. It's very similar to his reaction to emerging from the Mind Flayer colony at the end of act 2 - he doesn't stop to sit with how he's feeling about defying Mystra and choosing to live, despite these being enormous, world-shaking decisions for him; he goes straight into fixating on the potentials of the Crown of Karsus. He pulls away from your attempts to engage him in conversation about his choice. And after talking to Mystra, he does the same thing again. He gives himself no time to reflect on how he's feeling or what he's going through; nor to consider that you, his friend and possible partner, might want to check in with him and connect with him after such an important moment.

In this version of events, Gale is fixated on the potential of the Crown. He wonders if the reason he survived the orb was because the Karsite Weave chose him. He's fully on the 'ascending to godhood' train to an extent that my Tav found very unsettling - mostly because all she wanted was to just ask her partner how he's doing after this very enormous event. And crucially, he does not talk about - and there's no opportunity to ask him - whether he thinks this would make him happy.

But then my game crashed. My saves got eaten. And I decided I deserved nice things after that, so I ended the day right after starting it and experienced the boat scene. And my Tav got to tell Gale, quite simply, that he is enough. He is loved for who he is. He doesn't need to strive harder, become better, prove himself, be more special. No perfect godhood needed; all of him - the flaws, the mistakes, the brokenness - is worthy of love.

And when he got back from talking to Mystra this time? He immediately stops to check in on himself. He says that he can't believe that he saw her. He's able to sift through his emotions and even be proud of himself for facing Mystra. Far from feeling like the orb chose him, he's stunned that he ever thought he could control it. Because he doesn't need the idea of having been chosen anymore. He doesn't need that desperate validation. And my Tav got the chance to ask him that all-important question: 'Is this what you want?'

Both versions of this scene were great and telling, and there's definitely an argument to be made for doing it both ways around. But it really struck me to conpare the two and see it made so very clear: all Gale ever needed to be able to stop and see himself truly, to consider his own feelings and needs, to communicate more clearly with his partner, and to be kind to himself... was just for someone to tell him that he is enough. Just as he is.

Because that was what it was all about, wasn't it? The orb, the book, returning of that fragment of the Weave to Mystra - it was all about him trying, desperately, impossibly, to be enough for her.

It's not until he realises that he's worthy of love in all his imperfect mortality that he can even consider being enough for himself.

[kayas-kosmos]

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.

[velvet-vox]

V and Doll; trauma, mental disorder, and low empathy.

(Warning: this post is slightly outdated and contains some incorrect medical terms that don't correspond to the modern classification of ASPD. You can still read it if you are curious, but don't take anything stated here as hard facts. They are not.)

Very recently on my notifications I received a reblog by @aroaceweirdos101 to a response I've made to a post talking about how Doll went through so much more pain than V, and it made me realise that the response in question was actually, like, really good.

I had genuinely forgotten and underestimated how good of an analysis of both V, Doll, mental health and societal stigma it really was.

Now, of course, I disagree with the sentiment that Doll suffered more than V and fully believe that out of the two V endured way more pain and trauma than Doll; yet, although the responses in the comments checked out with what I previously said, they felt... meaner?

Like, the answers went to the opposite extreme of the original comment and tried to downplay Doll's trauma in comparison to V's, almost implying that Doll was a b##ch (which she was) for snapping as hard as she did when V still managed to retain a sense of restraint; and I disagreed with that, so in response I wrote this:

*Look, I believe both Doll and V are interesting characters, and although I feel more sympathetic towards Doll, I definitely believe V went through so much more pain than Doll and had way more reasons to snap and be the way she is now, but I just really hate people who use that as an excuse to label Doll has the more evil of the two or "she was always just a psycho, she just needed an excuse to snap"; it's especially disheartening when people straight up interpret her as unreademable or pure evil, when V and N's body count is 10 times higher than Doll's.

Also, I'm sorry but I really can't stomach the possibility of Liam redeeming the genocidal war machine and not the broken orphan created by said psycho, it literally would be the fictional pinnacle of "since these are the protagonists, they can get away with as much as they want and are always in the right"; I'm fine with the way Doll died because it was done by Cyn and there wasn't any moral lesson to be gained from our protagonists about it, but if it was done by N, Uzi, or worst of all V again, it should have played out like "we have reasons to do the things we do, and you have yours, unfortunately we're on opposite sides and you are hurting us so we must kill you now".

The human (worker drone) mind is extremely fragile, and some people, due to a probably inherited and undiagnosed mental illness or a particular personality type, are more at risk of snapping then other people, yet instead of being understanding towards those who are born with more issues than others (especially women, look up Azula or Ashley Graves) we tend to isolate, demonize and then kill them because they were incapable of fitting into the larger societal standard of acceptable social behaviour, even when said society never did anything to help them meet its unreachable standards because it required too much work from society's side to give you the special attention you needed in order to make you work and fit in.

V was a quiet kid because she was shy, Doll was a quiet kid because she was introverted. Those are two very different types of people and one of them (Doll) was inherently more at risk of developing mental health issues than the other due to their personality type and how it's stigmatized.*

Here's also the original post made by an anonymous user on @md-confessions

Also, here's the link to another post still talking about V and Doll. I made two comments in response, but neither of them is particularly well thought out and since you can't correct them I left them as they were.

Now, back to the highlighted part:

I want to use this response as a springboard to talk about the main differences between Doll and V when it comes to their different handling of their decaying mental health and why it's unfair to say that one of them was worse than the other based on their actions and attitude towards the problem.

(Also, all of the Murder Drones characters are extremely complex, and the fact that the show doesn't have filler makes it harder to get a good grip on one's particular mindset, so if it seems like I'm talking more about Doll than I am about V, it is because V is the most complicated character in the cast and I'm not as confident to talk about her as I am with Doll; it took one entire year to finally understand Doll as well as I do now, so V is a touchy subject for me that's why I might not do her justice).

First of all, it has to be said: Doll is a sociopath, V isn't, despite appearing like one. And that's ok.

When I say that I feel more sympathy towards Doll than I do for V, this is what I mean: I don't sympathise with Doll heartlessness more than I do with V jackassery; rather I understand and relate with Doll's low empathy since I also have low empathy as well, and it is quite common for people like us to be misunderstood for uncaring individuals.

It's the same reason why I and many others tend to like villains and sympathise with them more than we do with the heroes (Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 is the perfect example for this); it's quite common for villains to be written as individuals with low empathy, as an highly empathetic individual tends to be harder for the audience to buy as an antagonist, since you need to justify why someone this caring is committing all this heinous and terrible stuff, but if that person is already unemphatetic by nature, than it's just a matter of establishing their goals and motivations. These people also tend to be ostracized by their environment and go through a gruesome and violent death because it's socially acceptable to let these despicable individuals find comeuppance through death since they lack the traits that make a person traditionally good.

So, when people use the "So what? She's got dead parents. Many others do, including Uzi, who's also infected with the Absolute Solver, yet they have not become cannibalistic serial killers obsessed with revenge" as a slight against Doll it's not entirely fair because from what we've gathered in the show the other worker drones don't suffer from sadistic impulses and sociopathy like Doll does, even if they (Rebecca) are pretty uncaring. (Side note, Uzi also suffers from sadism/sadistic impulses, but not from sociopathy, hence the main difference between the two).

V, on the other hand, despite what her introduction and psycho girl persona might trick you into believing, was never a sociopath nor did she struggle with low empathy, she was, instead, a pretty timid maid who suffered through unspeakable physical and psychological trauma that led her to adopt this fake identity to cope for the atrocities that she was now committing for the company (Absolute Solver) and the safety of N; V cared about N in a pretty normal person kind of way: she kept N at arms length and hid the truth from him so that he wouldn't get hurt, all while detaching herself from the actions she was now committing, not saying Doll wouldn't or didn't commit any of these actions, but V did them in a way that better aligns with someone who doesn't suffer from sociopathic disorder.

Speaking of N, since he has been mentioned, I'll say that while Uzi suffers from sadism but not low empathy (she has shown to be pretty empathetic many times), N doesn't suffer from sadism but from low empathy; as better explained by a section of this post made by @melissa-titanium :

N x Doll

Don't believe me? Then maybe you should rewatch the series again because N's unemphateticness is his own can of worms to delve into.

But back to Doll, it's time to dissolve (😏) one of the oldest misconceptions surrounding her character:

Doll reached out for help. A lot. She just didn't have any luck with it.

Call me crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that the fandom wide spread belief that Doll rejected all the help that was handed to her to be a massive lie, and in fact, Doll actually tried to reach out way more than you thought, arguably, even more than Uzi:

The impact that Yeva's education has had on Doll's life can only be noticed in this way: Yeva extended her hand to Nori and she accepted it, thus, it is fair to assume that Yeva taught Doll to be pretty open to others and to give a hand to someone in need (the show was rewritten after the pilot, so ignore the incongruences with Doll's initial characterization), and in fact, after enduring the trauma of watching her parents die, she opened up to Lizzie for help and support, unfortunately, Lizzie wasn't exactly the right person to talk about these things (no offence to her, all of Uzi's classmates suck for one reason or another, including Uzi herself, I guess that's what happens when you are stuck inside a bunker your whole life), after all, Doll was still killing and cannibalising her classmates.

Then, before she went back to gain her revenge, she tried to get Uzi on her side, which wasn't an attempt to open up, but she was still willing to connect, even if for the wrong reasons. Finally, once she discovers that Uzi also has the Absolute Solver, she promises to help her out, and at this point, Doll wishes to talk it out with Uzi, but because she is surrounded by the Disassembly Drones (V), she can't.

And now, for the most interesting discussion, there's this brief and frankly weird moment in episode 5 where Doll compliments Khan for raising Uzi, and while Khan laughs it off immediately, since he is a dumbass, this could have been a perfect opportunity for him to reach out to Doll and reason with her, since she's clearly putting aside whatever her objective actually is to talk to him, but he doesn't catch on, and this leads Doll to immediately closing herself off again and returning to the mission, and like, maybe we all kind of underestimated how much significance this moment carried, but consider this:

Doll, at this point in time, has been living out in the cold for what... a month? Six months? A YEAR? If we exclude J and Cyn from the equation, this is probably the only social interaction she ever had since The Promening, yet, because of Khan's lack of touch, she immediately reminds herself of the massive disconnection between her and the other workers (eh ehm sociopath) and thus storms off rapidly; this moment is actually quite painful when you look at it from this perspective, yet it's also, the only interpretation that makes sense? Otherwise how do you explain the existence of this moment when Murder Drones is a show infamous for his high plotting and lack of filler? They had to go out of their way to animate this, so why did they play it off in this way?

Tessa is a meanie

Penultimately, and again, I want to bring up a post by @capnsaltsquid since that's where I got the inspiration to write this paragraph off, Doll opened up to J and Tessa to get the answers she was seeking, yet not only Tessa shot her in the face for s###s and giggles, but then proceeded to fraternise with her parents murderers, and at this point, she closes herself off enough to realise that she might have to unintentionally kill Uzi and leave everyone in the dust if she wants to get anything at all.

But unfortunately, that is not the case, she dies of a lonely, meaningless, gruesome death, and at this point, she still tries and finally succeeds in reaching out to Uzi, and yet, like all of her previous tries, this is unsuccessful, as Uzi has other things in mind right now.

To wrap things up nicely, both V and Doll went through severe amounts of trauma and handled said trauma in a similar yet also different way, since they are different individuals who process emotions and love differently, thus the actions they took made sense for the person they were and should only be judged in the context of their writing and characterization.

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