#(my students did not appreciate this at all)
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💌 i hope this doesnt find you !
a social media au | scaramouche x gender neutral reader
synopsis you were perfect on paper: school captain, one of the top students, cocaptain of the volleyball team, and a “pleasure to have in class.” it wasn’t easy to be such a model student, especially when you were competing against scaramouche, your rival since you both could barely talk. his competitive streak has annoyed you ever since you were kids, especially since you were working so hard to keep your scholarship while he flashed around his family’s money every other day. but the trick to keeping your sanity was to channel your frustrations into your email drafts. you’d never send them of course, the people pleaser in you would rather die than hurt someone’s feelings. all of your intensely worded emails were usually directed to scaramouche, your annoying cocaptain. you never have to hold back in your emails, because nobody will ever read them. that is, until they’re accidentally sent out. overnight your carefully crafted life is turned upside down now that everyone knows what you truly think of them. but amidst the chaos, there’s one person who grows to appreciate the real you: scaramouche, the only person you’ve sworn to hate.
genre college au, enemies to lovers, academic rivals
warnings time stamps don’t matter, characters including y/n are portrayed as young adults, mentions of alcohol, nsfw
notes read this novel with my friend and we couldn’t get out of our heads that the mc was scara, so here i am
taglist open! comment to be added, asks will be ignored
MEET OUR STUDENTS
COCAPTAINS -> YN | SCARAMOUCHE
ACT ONE
O1. O2. O3. O4. O5.
O6. O7. O8. O9. 1O.
ACT TWO
11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
16. 17. 18. 19. 20.
ACT THREE
21. 22. 23. 24. 25.
26. 27. 28. 29. 3O.
author’s notes i’m actually a huge whore for stories like this, love simon and tatbilb had such a chokehold on me and this is basically the enemies to lovers version of that. also i did track in highschool so i might change the sport to that idk yet
#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x male reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x oc#scaramouche headcanons#genshin smau#scaramouche genshin x reader#genshin x reader#i hope this doesn’t find you smau
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first thank you for all this info and explanation, it's super helpful!! I am a baby ML and I've recently been working with the local Revolutionary Communists of America chapter (used to be IMT), but I did have some concerns about them. It would be really good to hear from a non-trot about my experiences. This is focused on modern Trotskyism, not Trotsky as a person, who imo was kind of a bitch.
First some background, I live in [city redacted] and most of the leftists here are anarchists, so getting any of them together is like herding cats. The PSL (Party for Socialism and Liberation) and the RCA are really the only organized leftist groups here. I found the RCA through student strike for Palestine organizing at the local DSA meeting. They have done a lot of work with Palestine action groups and were at the university divestment encampment, which was a good sign for me. I decided to organize with the RCA because the PSL (or at least my local chapter) supports a two-state solution in Palestine and denies that the Uyghur ethnic cleansing is happening, among other things. Also, my local PSL chapter does a lot of agitating but not much in terms of education or long-term organizing. The RCA seems focused on building a vanguard party for the long term with a thorough theoretical education, which imo is the only viable strategy in the US at this point given the (almost) complete lack of revolutionary potential right now.
In terms of my personal experiences, I will say that the RCA does uphold democratic centralism and focuses on the works of Marx and Lenin much more than Trotsky. (I have yet to be recommended anything written by Trotsky, actually.) They fully support revolutions outside the imperialist core and critically support existing socialist projects. Also imo they have a good analysis of current events, i.e. the situation in Syria, China's economic imperialism, how to combat imperialism internally in the US, etc. Their interpretation of permanent revolution is not "all countries must revolt at the same time", but rather "countries do not have to adhere to Marx's stage theory and can progress straight to socialism regardless of their previous conditions". (Caveat that I have no idea if this is a correct interpretation.) They do emphasize international coalition-building very heavily though. All this to say that my experiences with my local chapter have been generally good and I haven't run into any big red flags re: theory yet.
My first concern is that they do ask for one day's wages for monthly dues, which is a lot of income for me. There is a lot of focus on donating in general, and it's not clear where the money goes beyond supporting the few people who work for the party full-time and printing newspapers. However, they also say that anything over $25 a month is fine for dues, so I'm not super worried about it and I don't feel pressured or anything, I would just appreciate more financial clarity.
My second, bigger concern is that I've tried to bring up getting involved in mutual aid a few times, and it hasn't been received very well. The chairs of the chapter basically said that it was useful for personal development, but wouldn't actually contribute to bringing down capitalism, so it wasn't worth the party's time to do. They also said that it would basically be entryism to work with apolitical mutual aid groups (???). They said that their goal was recruiting people who are already communists but aren't organized and we should be focused on that instead. I don't disagree that that's important, I just also think that doing mutual aid explicitly as a communist party would be a really good way to 1. support the community 2. get a good reputation going for the party.
Also, not a huge concern but definitely worth noting, the local chapter is almost entirely students. I'm the oldest person in the group at 29. This means that it's fairly disorganized and nobody can show up on time to anything. They are not beating the allegations.
Also also I find Alan Woods' writing kind of unbearable and wish they would find some different authors.
I would really appreciate some feedback about whether I'm wasting my time with the RCA and should just shut up and join the PSL instead, or if there's a secret third option I don't know about. Anyone is welcome to chime in on this. Thanks again for all the work you put into this explanation, I really appreciate it!!!
I think it's fair to say there is interest in an explanation of trotskyism from a marxist-leninist perspective. Information on what exactly Trotsky did and what trotskyism is nowadays is complicated to come by unless you know a trotskyist willing to be straightforward or someone involved in organizing with these types of communists. So instead of answering these asks without much prior research or preparation, I decided to wait until I was freer, without too many academic and political responsibilities. Full disclosure, the portion of this post on Trotsky himself is essentially (though not completely) a summary of Moissaye J. Olgin's Trotskysim: Counter-revolution in Disguise, which gets into the basics of trotskyism as well as Trotsky's actual position on his contemporary issues, such as the Chinese revolution, or the CPUSA which I don't get into here but I highly recommend reading. The second portion, about modern trotskyism and how it got to be present in the countries that it is, is shorter and more based on my own experiences organizing with trotskyists as well as reading what they have to say, and conversations with much more knowledgeable comrades of mine.
What is trotskyism?
Succinctly, it is the form of left opposition to marxism-leninism that has enjoyed the most spread, spearheaded by Leon Trotsky and his criticisms of the USSR.
Trotsky himself, despite what his self-aggrandizing History of the Russian Revolution leads one to believe, was never a bolshevik, much less a leninist. The second Congress of the Russian Social-Democratic Labor Party¹ (RSDLP) of 1903, which sought to establish the bases of what would become the bolshevik party and the CPSU, saw the start of the menshevik-bolshevik split, on the issue of what the party should become and how it should be organized.
The bolsheviks, already lead by Lenin, defended the principles of organization that were later systematized into democratic-centralism. These principles were the freedom of discussion until the party decided by a majority vote during a Congress, Conference or other organ for discussion, a position on any issue. After this, unity of action should follow, and the comrades who held the minority opinion, even if they still disagree, should submit to the collectively agreed-upon position, and act on that line an all party matters. This is to ensure that the party of the proletariat, representing the interests of one class, is not divided, and is able to express that single will. Otherwise, its action is crippled by unending debates kept alive by a minority. Consequently, these principles also lead to the intolerance towards fractions within the party.
Trotsky, who aligned himself with the mensheviks, opposed these principles, instead advocating for a complete liberty of individual action of comrades in the party. He called Lenin "the great disorganizer of the party" over this. This is the first great pillar of trotskyism, a rejection of democratic-centralism in favor of the creation of endless cliques and fractions within the party, which he did multiple times within the CPSU until his expulsion.
The second great pillar of the trotskyist opposition that arose before the October Revolution was of defeatism regarding the peasantry. Especially after the defeat of the 1905 revolution, Trotsky was convinced that a successful revolution in a country such as the Russian Empire, where the peasantry was a majority and usually held reactionary positions due to various economic determinations², was impossible because these reactionary elements would inevitably overthrow a worker's dictatorship. While already an excessively defeatist position among other communists, and certainly not a bolshevik position, this belief did not change whether it was 1905, 1915, or 1935. Up to the end, even once the USSR had beaten the armed intervention of 14 armies and had transformed the peasantry by eliminating the class of kulaks and collectivizing agriculture, Trotsky's opposition to socialism in one country relied on the perception of an insurmountable reactionary class constantly on the edge of an overthrow. This is what the "permanent revolution", a term that when used by trotsky has nothing to do with the same term used by Marx and Engels, actually means. A defeatism so deep, that only the practically simultaneous and global victory of the proletariat is possible, all without party unity!
This also negates other leninist positions such as the weakest chain theory, crucial to understanding imperialism, or the necessity of a communist party altogether. Since socialism in one country will inevitably fail, Trotsky told workers that an armed insurrection once the conditions was right was pointless, and that they should instead work for a "worldwide revolution", something that's in practice impossible because it would necessitate a synchronization of the conditions necessary for a revolution in every single imperialist country at once. Unequal development is an unbreakable rule of the imperialist stage of capitalism, and the notion of a worldwide revolution or even a revolution among a significant portion of imperialist countries was already refuted by Lenin in 1915.
So how did Trotsky reconcile his defeatist dogmatism with a living and thriving proof against it in the form of the USSR? As the third great pillar of trotskyism, he insisted by every possible avenue that the USSR wasn't actually socialist, the reasons for which changed constantly. Some issues were already recognized by the CPSU and worked against, and Trotsky exaggerated them. He expressed concern about the Central Committee replacing the party itself, he expressed concern about bureaucratization, the NEP and its lack of collectivization, the excessive speed of collectivization in the 30s, and other criticisms which, when taken together, show only contradiction and a single consistent position: that any attack against the USSR was legitimate.
And it's not like he was being ignored in the USSR, he simply always chose the most incendiary and anti-leninist methods for criticism. In the 13th Congress of the RCP(b) of 1924, among other things, the resolution that was approved recognized many flaws in the party coming out of the NEP, but that these issues weren't actively dangerous and could be solved: bureaucratization in some areas, excessive departmentalization, some influence of bourgeois elements. This resolution was passed unanimously, which included Trotsky. Immediately after the Congress, he published a pamphlet called The New Course, in which he lambasts this Congress and the entire party as having degenerated. In this pamphlet he also places students as the "barometer of the revolution", instead of workers themselves. His only proposal to that Congress was one to allow "freedom of groupings", meaning the freedom to form fractions. Once again he pulled the same stunt in the 15th Congress of 1926; he publicly subscribed to a resolution that explicitly banned such fractions, and directly afterwards published more pamphlets that directly opposed the resolution that he subscribed to! This is not a man who levied fair criticisms and was shut down, he was someone who held minority positions, anti-leninist ones, and refused to admit it, to the point of plotting against the USSR.
But how come Trotsky, during his better known times in exile, claimed he was the true Leninist and that he opposed the Stalinist degeneration? This is the greatest example of a tactic he used constantly. To always seem like the rational critic, and to pass his opposition as one coming from another bolshevik, he always shifted the perspective of his criticisms. In the times of Lenin, Lenin was the "great disorganizer", and the "leader of the reactionary wing of the party"³. But once Lenin died, he became the most loyal foot-soldier of Leninism, crusading against the Stalinist corruption. Then it was Stalin who became Trotsky's devil, effortlessly transposing his criticisms of Lenin to Stalin, and shifting his perspective from that of a menshevik, to that of a true "bolshevik-leninist".
This tactic was used constantly. For instance. when he was still within the ranks of the party, he completely opposed the principles of democratic-centralism, but once he was in exile and had to criticize the Communist International, his issue suddenly became only that the bolshevik form of organization was being hastily applied to different contexts. Then, he really had no issue with democratic-centralism. When he talked of the possibility of a revolution in the US, then all his worries of an insurmountable reaction dissolved, instead becoming an optimist who believed that, actually, there would be no real significant class who would oppose a revolution in the US, and that therefore the USamerican workers should carry out a revolution "without compulsion". The very same person who over the course of decades insisted on the dangers of a counter-revolution apparently believed the workers of the USA had no opposition to fear. This was, rather, simply an opposition to the Communist International's analysis of imperialism, as Trotsky placed the most revolutionary potential in the countries where capitalism was most developed, the imperial core, the very same mistake Marx and Engels committed, except only 70 years prior and with no good framework with which to analyze imperialism. If Trotsky was truly a leninist, then he utterly failed at even beginning to understand anything about the theory regarding imperialism.
I think this is a good enough place to leave Trotsky be, and talk now about trotskyism beyond Trotsky.
Trotskyism, especially in its analysis of imperialism, is very attractive to the imperial core communist. It appeals to multiple sensibilities like individualism, an aversion to revolutionary discipline and work, and impatience. By putting the emphasis away from the party of our class and onto the group of individual ideologues, each with their own cliques and mini-parties, by completely disregarding the possibility of a revolution outside the top of the imperialist pyramid, and by also disregarding the possibility of a revolution until the instance of a total global victory, it is no wonder most trotskyists nowadays are found in the imperial core. This is, with the exception of a portion of Latin-American countries, which I think deserves its own explanation.
Latin America in the 20s and 30s was a continent⁴ of very differing levels of development of capitalism and the proletariat. When many European trotskyists left to Latin America for various reasons, it's no coincidence that they ended up mostly in the urban centers of the most developed countries, such as Argentina and México, where Trotsky himself ended his emigrations after exile. It was exported to places that had a significantly developed proletariat, places which up to that point lacked a culture of multiple communist parties, like Europe had, and places with a strong unionist movement. Other countries like Colombia, Ecuador or Perú, whose worker movements were more significantly indigenist and/or decolonial, along with not meeting the other conditions like Argentina and México, were less ripe for trotskyism.
The condition for a lack of a multi-party environment was important because the trotskyist opposition to the USSR collected all the "orphaned" communists who opposed the sections of the Communist International in each of their countries, especially after the Moscow trials of the late 30s which expanded the opposition to marxism-leninism internationally, as well as with other events like the Hungarian intervention after WW2. But besides this very specific phenomenon, product of a set of very specific conditions which, outside of the imperial core, were only met in these specific countries, the basis of trotskyism as an imperial core opposition to marxism-leninism remains.
So nowadays, trotskyists are mostly located in the imperial core, with those exceptions I've explained. And this leads me to the last part of this post, which is about organizing with trotskyists as a marxist-leninist. In short, it's not impossible but also not an extraordinary situation. Organizing in the imperial core varies from country to country, that much is clear, but the fragmentation into countless groups and sects, as well as the competition with social-democrats, is broadly consistent. These conditions, again generally, mean marxist-leninist parties in the imperial core have to collaborate with a myriad of communist offshoots, anarchists, and ill-defined "leftists" to achieve a broader reach. This includes trotskyists. What makes them in particular uniquely annoying to organize with is that they continue to pretend to be leninists despite all the discrepancies, so they tend to constitute competitors in agitation and rhetoric, while their internal organization usually resembles that of an anarchist group more than anything else. From this, other symptoms like a reliance on assemblyism (especially in the students' movement) and extreme levels of voluntarism naturally follow.
The IMT (International Marxist Tendency), or whichever acronym it is that they're using now, has a relevant presence in just the US and UK with a nominal one in most other imperial core countries. In all cases they're not much more than newspaper vendors who sometimes gives talks at best, and mere reading clubs or financially-extorting sects at worst. There is another international grouping of trotskyist parties that I've come across led by the PTA (Partido del Trabajo Argentino, Argentinian Labor Party), mostly linked via their news broadcast Izquierda Diario, although from what I've heard, the PTA finances their international "children" parties too. Of course, these groups all have different names in each country which in turn tend to change every few years.
Before the split of the Second International during WWI, communists called themselves social-democrats
The mode of production of the peasantry was very individualized, since each peasant or group of peasants lived partly from the fruits of their own labor, they didn't sell it in its entirety. This stands in contrast with the proletariat's completely socialized mode of production; every worker sells the entirety of their labor-power and sustains themself by purchasing commodities with their salary. The pre-existing socialization of production in capitalism was identified by Marx and Engels already in the Manifesto as one of the reasons for the proletariat being the revolutionary class by excellence. The reactionary tendencies of the peasantry wasn't wholly determined by this, it also depended on various historical and contextual reasons, but this should be better expanded on a dedicated post to social alliances.
These are all real insults thrown at Lenin by Trotsky when he disagreed about party discipline. The "true leninist", ladies and gentlemen
Using "continent" in a very loose way here. It's not like the common definitions of continent are very determined either. But you get what I mean
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bad religion — rcm (18+)
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ smut, angst, minors dni, sexually explicit content below the cut, bartender!reader, unrequited love, slowburn, crashout!rafe, nobody understands him like i do, reader lowkey has bob the builder mentality, no religious themes despite the title, dirty talk, gun play, alcohol consumption, drug usage, if it brings me to my knees, it’s a bad religion; this unrequited love
it started off as a way to pay off your student loans—tuition, housing, supplies. the minute you enrolled, you had picked up the job. it was supposed to be temporary, just until you found a better solution, but time had a way of slipping through your fingers. years later, you were still standing behind the counter, wiping spills, pouring drinks, and serving customers whose names you rarely bothered to learn. the debt was gone, long since paid off, but you hadn’t managed to leave. you told yourself it was because the money was decent, but deep down, you knew the truth: you didn’t know where else to go.
the roadside had become something of a second home to you, though a noisy, sticky one. you liked the rhythm of it, the way the nights started off slow and built to a fever pitch, only to settle into a steady hum again by closing time. you liked the regulars, too—the older men who came in after long shifts at the docks or the factory. they nursed beers as if they were lifelines and tipped generously, their wallets loosening with each drink. they were kind, if a little lonely, and they made your job bearable.
the others weren’t as pleasant. there were men with slicked-back hair and gold watches, the kind who brought their wives to brunch in the mornings, but showed up at the roadside every night with someone new on their arm. whiskey neat for him, a bright, sugary cocktail for her—each woman seemingly younger, blonder, and more compliant than the last. they never tipped, and they always left a mess. you hated them the most.
and then there were the tourists. they breezed in like they owned the place, their faces sunburned and shining, and almost always said the same thing: “surprise me.” you never did. you’d pour them a vodka soda with light ice, knowing it would do the job. they didn’t care about flavor or nuance, just speed, and you weren’t about to waste good liquor on someone who wouldn’t appreciate it.
over time, the faces all blurred together. you’d seen so many people come and go that you’d stopped trying to remember them. the roadside was a revolving door, and you preferred it that way. no attachments, no complications.
“on the clock?” you looked up, having been lost in thought, polishing a variety of glasses and setting them away. he was sat in front of you, a look of near disinterest playing on his face. he almost seemed ticked off. the scent of his cologne clashed with the smell of gin. he fashioned a buzzcut, a polo shirt, and a pair of shorts. tan, blond—he’d have been disney’s dream if he was just a few years younger. if he wasn’t so easy to recognize, you would’ve mistaken him for a tourist. “unfortunately,” you responded with an honesty that almost made him smile. “what can i get you?”
for a second, he didn’t respond. you stood in front of him, with nothing but the counter separating you, but it did little to stop either of you from staring. his light blue eyes bored into yours without the faintest shade of shame. there seemed to be a grey hue to them that the photos of him never captured. rafe cameron, what were the chances of him showing up? he had gained a certain reputation thanks to his father, and his tendency to act out in public. maybe it was best if you said nothing. so, you broke the gaze.
“single malt scotch,” he answered, leaning forward against the counter. you nodded, doing your best to ignore the way his eyes followed your every movement, paired with the uncanny order that screamed toxic masculinity. you grabbed the bottle of scotch from the shelf, careful not to let your hands tremble as you poured the amber liquid into a clean glass. the sound of the pour filled the silence between you, and you were hyperaware of his gaze tracking every movement. it wasn’t just curiosity; it felt calculated, as though he were sizing you up, deciding if you were worth his attention.
the scotch settled in the glass, and you slid it across the counter toward him. “here you go,” you announced, your voice steady despite the prickle of unease his presence stirred. rafe pulled out a wallet from his pocket and laid a crisp bill on the counter, more than enough to cover the drink. his movements were deliberate, slow, as if he enjoyed the way it kept you waiting. “keep the change,” he muttered, picking up the glass and taking a measured sip.
you tucked the bill into the register, brushing off the way his tone lingered in the air. glancing around the bar, you noticed a lull in the activity. the older regulars were nursing their drinks, and the tourists had either left or were too absorbed in their own conversations to need you. your eyes drifted to the window, catching sight of a dirt bike parked just outside. its sleek red and black frame stood out against the muted colors of the streetlights.
“that your bike?” you asked, your curiosity slipping through before you could stop yourself. rafe’s lips quirked up slightly as he set his glass down. “yeah, ktm. you know bikes?”
“not really,” you admitted, leaning your hip against the counter. “but it’s a nice one. looks fast.”
“it is.” he took another sip, his eyes still on you. “you like fast things?”
there it was—the subtle shift in his tone, just enough to make the question feel loaded. you raised a brow, refusing to let him get under your skin. “depends on the thing,” you replied coolly. “fast isn’t always better.”
the smirk on his face deepened, and for a moment, he said nothing, just stared at you like he was trying to figure out what made you tick. “you’ve got a mouth on you,” he said finally, his voice low and edged with amusement. “i like that.”
you rolled your eyes, reaching for a rag to wipe down the counter. “and you’ve got a way of talking that screams trouble. i’ll pass.”
“trouble, huh?” he chuckled softly, leaning back in his seat. “you make that judgment on your own, or is that what you’ve heard about me?”
you hesitated. his reputation preceded him, of course. rafe cameron, the kook prince with too much money and too much anger. everyone had a story about him, most of them involving fights, drugs, or some poor girl left heartbroken in his wake. but something about the way he was looking at you now—calm, almost bored—didn’t match the chaos you’d heard about.
“a little of both,” you admitted, meeting his gaze again. “does it bother you?”
“not really,” he said with a shrug. “people are gonna think what they want. doesn’t make it true.”
“doesn’t make it false either,” you shot back, unable to help yourself.
that earned you another smirk, sharper this time. “you always this quick with your customers?”
“only the ones who think they’re special,” you said, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.
his laugh was soft, but almost genuine, and it caught you off guard. “fair enough,” he said, finishing the last of his scotch. he pushed the glass toward you, the faintest hint of a challenge in his eyes. “one more?”
you nodded, grabbing the bottle again. this time, you didn’t feel the same pressure to avoid his gaze. if he wanted to play games, you could play too. as you poured, you said, “you must get this a lot.”
“what’s that?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.
“girls falling over themselves for you,” you said bluntly, setting the glass down in front of him. “the charm, the looks, the whole mysterious bad boy act—it’s a lot.”
“act?” he raised a brow, clearly amused. “you think this is an act?”
“isn’t it?” you countered, crossing your arms. “seems a little rehearsed.”
he leaned forward, the movement subtle but deliberate, and suddenly the air between you felt charged again. “if i wanted to charm you,” he said slowly, his voice dropping an octave, “you’d know.”
the heat of his words settled in your chest, but you refused to let it show. instead, you picked up his empty glass and started wiping it clean. “i’ll take your word for it,” you said evenly, refusing to meet his gaze.
for a moment, neither of you spoke. he watched you in silence, his expression unreadable, and you found yourself wondering what was going through his mind. finally, he stood, pulling a set of keys from his pocket.
“thanks for the drink,” he said, his tone cool and detached again. “maybe i’ll see you around.”
“maybe,” you replied, watching as he turned and walked toward the door. his figure disappeared into the night, leaving behind the faint scent of cologne and a lingering tension you couldn’t quite shake. when you glanced out the window again, the dirt bike was gone, its engine a distant hum in the night. you exhaled, realizing only then how tightly you’d been gripping the rag in your hand. he was trouble, no doubt about it. but for some reason, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to regret the encounter.
the walk home was quiet, unsettlingly so. you’d managed to convince one of your co-workers to cover the rest of your shift, citing the lack of customers as a valid reason, but now, as the empty streets stretched before you, you almost wished you’d stayed. the moonlight pooled on the cracked pavement, illuminating a path that felt both too open and too confining. you held your house keys tightly in one hand, the jagged edges digging into your palm like a makeshift weapon. just in case. you weren’t the type to take chances.
your steps were brisk but measured, careful not to echo too loudly. every shadow seemed alive, every sound amplified. a rustle in the bushes had your heart racing, your grip tightening on the keys. it was probably a cat, you told yourself, though your eyes darted back toward the noise every few seconds, just to be sure. the world felt too quiet, too exposed. you hated this part of the night—the vulnerability of it. it wasn’t paranoia, you told yourself, just caution. but still, your mind raced with every worst-case scenario.
when you finally reached your house, relief washed over you like a wave. the sight of the peeling paint and sagging porch might have been depressing to anyone else, but to you, it meant safety. unlocking the door felt like unlocking a barrier between you and the rest of the world. once inside, you locked it again, flipping the bolt twice just to hear the satisfying click. the air inside was stale, carrying the faint scent of cleaning products and something slightly metallic. it wasn’t much, but it was yours. or at least, it was until the lease ran out.
the place was as minimal as it could get. a mismatched thrift store couch dominated the small living room, its cushions worn and sagging in places. a single bookshelf stood in the corner, half-filled with old paperbacks and a few decorative knick-knacks you’d found at a yard sale. the kitchen, visible from the living room, was clean but bare, its counters free of anything that might be considered a luxury. your future depended on saving, on scrimping wherever you could, and every dollar you didn’t spend brought you one step closer to a life that didn’t feel like you were treading water.
you dropped your bag near the door and kicked off your shoes, the weight of the day settling over you like a blanket. collapsing onto the couch, you reached for the remote and flicked the television on. the screen blinked to life, casting a dim blue glow across the room. you scrolled aimlessly through the channels until the news caught your eye.
“...marking the anniversary of ward cameron’s death,” the reporter announced, her voice measured. the screen cut to a montage of images—ward’s face, the cameron estate. “ward cameron, a prominent figure in the outer banks, left behind a legacy of wealth, corruption, and betrayal. his death, which shocked the island community, continues to be a topic of both fascination and controversy.”
you scoffed, sinking deeper into the couch. “apple, tree,” you muttered under your breath, the words bitter and sharp. it was hard not to think about rafe, his cool demeanor and the air of entitlement that clung to him like a second skin. the spawn of the man had left the world behind with a son who seemed a fistfight away from being institutionalized. it was rich people bullshit, all of it, and it infuriated you. they lived in their gilded cages, creating drama out of thin air while people like you scraped by just to keep the lights on.
the reporter continued, delving into ward’s crimes and the ripple effect they’d had on the community, but you tuned her out. it all felt so distant, so removed from your own reality. people like the camerons didn’t have to worry about overdue bills or walking home alone at night. they sneezed, and the rest of the island lined up to wipe their noses.
you grabbed the thin blanket draped over the back of the couch and pulled it over yourself, letting the reporter’s voice fade into background noise. the couch wasn’t comfortable—not really—but it was familiar. it was where you ended most nights, too tired to drag yourself to the bedroom. the faint hum of the television lulled you into a fragile sense of calm, the weight of the day finally giving way to exhaustion.
as you closed your eyes, the image of rafe’s piercing blue stare flitted across your mind, unbidden and unwelcome. you shoved it away, chalking it up to nothing more than an odd encounter. he was a blip on the radar, a momentary distraction in a life too busy for indulgences like curiosity. with a heavy sigh, you let the hum of the television pull you under, the world slipping away as sleep claimed you.
the next day dawned slow and gray, the kind of morning that felt like a continuation of the night before. you went about your routine with mechanical precision, brushing your teeth in the tiny bathroom with its perpetually fogged mirror and peeling wallpaper. breakfast was quick—toast, black coffee, and a glance at the wilted plant by the window you kept forgetting to water. you were out the door before you had time to feel the weight of the day ahead.
the walk to the bar wasn’t long, but it was enough to remind you why you hated mornings. the streets were quiet, but not in the same way as they were at night. this quiet felt temporary, like the city was holding its breath before the chaos of the day began.
at the bar, you fell into the rhythm of the job almost immediately. wiping down counters, setting up glasses, restocking liquor shelves—it was second nature by now. the hours dragged, each one blending into the next as a slow trickle of customers came and went. a few regulars shuffled in for their early beers, their faces as familiar to you as the scratches on the bar top. you greeted them with polite smiles, but your mind was elsewhere.
you didn’t want to admit it, even to yourself, but you half-expected rafe to show up. every time the door swung open, your eyes darted toward it, only to find someone else stepping inside. the anticipation was irritating, like an itch you couldn’t scratch. you told yourself you didn’t care whether he came back or not, but the lie was too obvious to be convincing.
by nightfall, the bar began to pick up. the low hum of conversation grew louder, mingling with the clink of glasses and the faint strains of a classic rock playlist. you stepped outside for a smoke break, needing a moment away from the noise. the air was cool, carrying the faint scent of salt from the ocean. you leaned against the wall, the cigarette in your hand a small comfort against the monotony of the day.
the sound of a motor rumbled in the distance, growing louder until it filled the air. your eyes flicked toward the source, and there he was, pulling up on his dirt bike like he owned the place. the red and black machine gleamed under the dim streetlights, and for a moment, you just watched as he killed the engine and swung a leg over. he took off his helmet, revealing that same buzzcut and piercing blue eyes that had lingered in your mind longer than you cared to admit. he saw you almost immediately, a smirk curling at the corner of his mouth as he approached.
“you get lost again?” you called out, unable to resist. your tone was teasing, but the sight of him sent an unexpected jolt through you. “figure 8’s on the other side.”
he chuckled, low and amused, the sound like gravel in his throat. “must’ve taken a wrong turn.” his eyes dropped to the cigarette in your hand, and his smirk deepened. “those things’ll kill you, y’know?”
you scoffed, tapping the ash off the end and watching it scatter to the ground. “not fast enough, obviously.”
“let’s hope not,” he replied smoothly, his gaze steady on yours. “not until i get a glass of scotch.”
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the faint tug of a smile. “two nights in a row, it must be good.”
he tilted his head, the smirk on his face turning downright devious. “among other things.”
the way he said it sent a chill down your spine, one you couldn’t quite shake as you turned and headed back inside. you heard his footsteps behind you, steady and unhurried, as though he knew exactly where he belonged.
behind the bar, you reached for the bottle of single malt without needing to ask. he took the same seat as the night before, his movements deliberate and lazy, like he had all the time in the world. you poured the drink and set it in front of him, doing your best to ignore the way his eyes seemed to follow your every move.
“caught the news last night,” you said casually as he pulled out his wallet. “sorry for your loss.”
the change in his expression was instant, the smirk wiped clean in less than a second. his jaw tightened, and his light blue eyes grew cold. “don’t be,” he said flatly. “i’m not.”
you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes at the obvious deflection. “he’s your dad, is he not?” you asked, more curious than you should’ve been.
rafe’s lips twitched, but it wasn’t a smile. “sure, why not?” his tone was stoic, detached, and it made you regret bringing it up. the silence that followed was heavy, thick with something unspoken that you couldn’t quite place.
he sipped his drink, his gaze fixed on the counter as though it held answers to questions you didn’t even know how to ask. to you, it was just another reminder of how different your worlds were. but to him, the weight of that silence carried memories he wouldn’t let surface, not here, not now, not ever.
the bar buzzed around you, but for a moment, the two of you might as well have been the only ones there. you busied yourself with wiping down the counter, giving him the space he clearly needed. whatever his relationship with his father had been, it wasn’t your place to pry. but as you glanced at him, you couldn’t help but wonder—what kind of man grew up in the shadow of someone like ward cameron?
you were midway through rinsing a glass when a new customer slid into the seat beside rafe. the man was tall, blond, and sun-kissed, his skin bearing the unmistakable sheen of someone who spent most of their days by the water. his outfit—a white wifebeater and faded shorts—screamed local. rafe stiffened beside him, his easy demeanor shifting as he leaned back in his seat, jaw tightening. the newcomer leaned forward onto the bar, turning his attention to you.
“excuse me?” his voice cut through the background noise, drawing your focus. you walked over, keeping your expression neutral.
“what can i get you?” you asked casually, pulling a towel off your shoulder and tossing it onto the counter.
the man grinned, clearly enjoying himself as he pretended to think. he was already swaying slightly, the telltale sign of someone who’d started drinking well before stepping through your door.
“well,” he began, dragging the word out like it was some profound thought, “i’d ask for a beer, but it depends.” he paused, his smile growing wider. “does the beer come with a phone number?”
you bit back the urge to roll your eyes, a skill you’d perfected over countless encounters like this. leaning forward, you fixed him with a stare so sharp it could cut glass. “a restraining order, actually,” you replied coolly, your voice devoid of humor.
the man laughed, clearly not deterred. if anything, your response seemed to fuel his bravado. “come on, sweetheart,” he said, tilting his head as though to charm you. “what kind of customer service is that?”
you turned away, doing your best to ignore him as you crouched to grab a beer from the fridge. the cool air brushed your skin, offering a brief reprieve from the heat of the room. you popped the cap off the bottle, your back still turned, oblivious to the way the man leaned back in his seat, his eyes glued to the way your jeans stopped below your waist. what you missed, someone else didn’t.
the first crash was deafening, shattering the rhythm of the bar in an instant. you whipped around, the beer in your hand sloshing slightly as your eyes widened at the scene before you.
the blond man was on the ground, sprawled awkwardly, his face contorted in shock and pain. towering over him was rafe, his knuckles already bloodied from the first blow. the air felt electric, charged with the sheer force of the rage radiating from him. “come on, sweetheart,” rafe sneered, his tone mocking as he delivered another punch. “what kind of manners are those?”
the man barely had time to respond before rafe grabbed him by the front of his tank top, hauling him up like a ragdoll. the look in his eyes was something primal, something feral. “i might just make you my bitch if I don’t kill you first,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.
the man whimpered, his bravado completely gone, but rafe wasn’t finished. his fist connected again, the sound of impact reverberating through the room.
“rafe, stop!” you shouted, your voice cutting through the chaos. you scrambled out from behind the bar, pushing past the growing crowd of onlookers. it took more than just you to pull him away. one of the other bartenders jumped in, followed by a bouncer, both of them struggling to wrestle rafe back. his chest heaved, his hands still twitching with barely-contained energy as they held him.
you crouched beside the man on the floor, who was clutching his face and groaning. his nose was bleeding, and one eye was already swelling shut. your heart pounded as you turned back to rafe, fury and disbelief written all over your face. “are you trying to get me fired?” you snapped, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and adrenaline.
his gaze shifted to you, his blue eyes dark and unreadable. for a moment, he didn’t respond, his breathing heavy, his hands still shaking as they hung at his sides, blood dripping from his knuckles. “yeah,” he said finally, his voice dripping with venom. “because that’d be such a shame.”
his eyes flicked back to the man on the floor, his lip curling in disgust. you saw it then—the side of rafe cameron everyone warned you about. the man who was a ticking time bomb, always seconds away from detonating.
your manager’s glare burned into you, sharp and unrelenting, but the message clear as day. with a sigh heavy enough to rattle your ribs, you turned back to rafe, still seething where he stood, blood dripping onto the floor like a crimson metronome. “come on,” you muttered, jerking your head toward the back. “let’s fix you up before you make this night even worse.”
rafe followed without protest, his steps heavy and deliberate, the energy of the room shifting as you led him through the door behind the bar. the hallway was dim, illuminated only by the flicker of a fluorescent bulb, the walls lined with scuffed paint and the faint smell of bleach. you shoved open the door to a small office-slash-medical-room hybrid—a cluttered, utilitarian space with a desk shoved against the wall and a first-aid kit hanging by the door.
“sit down,” you snapped, pointing at the worn metal chair in the center of the room. he obliged, sinking into the chair with an infuriating calmness, his long legs sprawled out as if he owned the place. he didn’t say a word, but his gaze tracked you as you rummaged through drawers, the scrape of metal and plastic breaking the silence.
it wasn’t until you turned back with supplies in hand that you noticed it: the black grip of a gun tucked into the waistband of his shorts. “are you kidding me?” you hissed, your eyes narrowing. “you’ve gotta be shitting me. second night here, and you’re ready to get me fired.”
rafe didn’t respond immediately, his eyes drawn to the streaks of moonlight slicing through the cracked blinds. the faint silver light caught the sharp angles of his face, softening them just enough to be dangerous. “i have a permit,” he said finally, his voice low and disinterested, as if that explained everything.
you almost laughed. almost. “put that shit away,” you ordered, gesturing sharply.
he smirked but complied, pulling the weapon free and sliding it into his jacket instead. only rafe cameron could make following directions look like a favor. “unbelievable,” you muttered, stepping closer. “hold still.”
you crouched beside him, your fingers deft as you dabbed antiseptic onto a rag. the smell was sharp, stinging your nose as you pressed it to his knuckles. he didn’t flinch, his stoicism unnerving as you worked to clean away the blood and dirt. his hands were strong, calloused in a way that hinted at a life rougher than the one you’d imagined for someone like him.
“you wanna tell me what the hell that was about?” you asked, your tone cutting.
“he was staring at you,” he said simply, his voice devoid of emotion.
you glanced up, caught off guard by the frankness of his statement. “so what? i deal with creeps like that all the time. doesn’t mean you get to knock their teeth in.”
his lips twitched, the faintest shadow of a smirk. “guess i’m not good at letting things slide.”
“yeah, no kidding,” you shot back, shaking your head. his knuckles were raw and split, the blood pooling in thin lines that you carefully wiped away.
the silence between you stretched, thick and charged, until finally, you leaned back and surveyed your work. his hands were still trembling, though whether from adrenaline or something deeper, you couldn’t tell. “all done,” you said, straightening up. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m clocking out before someone else decides to bleed all over my bar.”
rafe stood, towering over you as he adjusted his jacket. “i’ll take you home.”
you blinked, caught off guard by the offer. “my legs work just fine,” you replied, your tone sharper than intended.
he didn’t budge, his gaze steady and unwavering. “i wasn’t asking.”
before you could protest further, he was leading you back to the front, where his bike waited. the night air was cool against your skin, the hum of cicadas filling the silence as he handed you a helmet.
“don’t tell me to hold on tight, because i won’t,” you warned as you climbed on behind him, the words almost daring.
he chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “we’ll see about that.”
the engine roared beneath you, and despite your earlier words, your arms instinctively wrapped around his waist as the bike lurched forward. the wind whipped past you, pulling at your hair as the world blurred into streaks of light and shadow.
by the time he pulled up to your house, your pulse was racing for reasons you refused to examine too closely. you slid off the bike, your legs unsteady as you removed the helmet and handed it back to him.
“thanks for the ride,” you muttered, stepping onto the porch. rafe followed, his gaze sweeping over the small, weathered house you called home. you braced yourself for some snide comment, but he said nothing, his expression unreadable.
“it’s not much,” you admitted, crossing your arms defensively.
“it’s enough,” he said simply, his tone carrying none of the judgment you’d expected.
you looked up at him, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow over his features, highlighting the sharp planes of his cheekbones and the curve of his lips. there was something magnetic about him, something that made your heart stumble even as your mind screamed at you to stay away.
no matter how much your mind screamed at you, you knew you wouldn’t listen. when he kissed you, it wasn’t sweet or gentle. It was rough, insistent, a collision of mouths and unspoken tensions. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours, claiming and demanding in a way that left you breathless. it wasn’t romantic. it wasn’t kind. but it was everything you didn’t know you’d been craving.
“we’re so not doing this,” you exhaled with a shaky laugh, breaking the kiss as reality clawed its way back into your mind. your palms flattened against his chest, as though a barrier of mere inches could hold back the tide of whatever this was.
but rafe didn’t flinch. his hands, rough and warm, rested on your bare waist, his thumbs drawing lazy circles on your skin that sent sparks racing through your veins. his gaze, piercing and unrelenting, locked onto yours like a challenge, daring you to contradict him.
“yes, we are,” his eyes seemed to say, the intensity of his stare enough to make you forget the very air around you. “are you scared?” he whispered, the words slipping from his lips like silk. they weren’t a question, not really. they were a taunt, a gauntlet thrown at your feet.
he leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver rolling down your spine. his nose brushed against the shell of your ear, his lips so close they grazed your neck, and you swore he could feel the way your pulse fluttered beneath your skin.
“i’m not scared of anything,” you shot back, your voice firmer than you felt. defiance burned in your chest, even as the sensation of his mouth barely ghosting over your jaw made your knees weak.
“maybe you should be,” he murmured, his voice low, his tone a promise more than a threat.
the words undid you. they stripped away your composure, your restraint, until nothing remained but the white-hot pull that had been simmering between you all night. your fingers moved before you could stop them, wrapping around the back of his neck, the tips grazing the bare skin there. the contact sent a shiver through him that you felt as much as saw.
and then you were kissing him again, your lips colliding with his in a frenzy of heat and need. there was no hesitation this time, no room for second thoughts or retreat. he tasted like scotch and rebellion, smelled like leather and something darker, something dangerous. you weren’t scared, but you should have been. everyone was scared of the devil.
his hand found the small of your back, his touch searing through the fabric of your shirt as he pushed you backward, through the open door to your house. your legs gave out slightly, the doorframe digging into your spine as you kissed him harder. rafe’s other hand roamed up your side, his fingertips tracing the line of your waist, up to your chest, cupping one of your tits through the fabric. your breath hitched, your eyes fluttering shut as he squeezed gently.
“you must do this a lot,” you half-joked as his lips find their way back to your neck, wet and sloppy as they travel down to your collarbone. he grunts against your skin, “could say the same about you,” he retorts. the room spun around you as he backed you further into the house, his hands never leaving your body, his mouth never leaving your neck. you felt the wall behind you, your body trapped between the hardness of the wall and the hardness of, well, him.
his hand slid around your thigh, diving under the fabric of your jeans, fingertips grazing the wetness of your panties. your hips bucked slightly at the touch, betraying your own eagerness. “haven’t been fucked in a while, have you?” he murmured, his voice a dark promise. “what’s the matter, baby? did i turn you on?” you wanted to defy him more than anything, but you were powerless to resist.
instead, you fought fire with fire, raising your knee enough to press it against the center of his shorts. no matter how tough your bones were, they did little to prepare you for just how hard and heavy he felt, throbbing under the thick material of his shorts. “you’ve got it worse than i do,” you do your best to retort, but it’s not easy, not with his fingers rubbing sweet circles against the damp spot of your panties, drawing out every whimper he can from you.
“ease my pain, why don't you?” he murmurs softly. you watched him through hooded eyes as he crouched down, his fingers tugging down your jeans until they're pooling around your ankles. you complied, raising your feet to rid yourself of the blockage. when you did, he took a moment to admire you—pressed against the wall of your own home, standing in nothing but a skimpy top, panties soaked, and a pair of heels he didn’t plan on letting you take off.
when you tried to, he was quick to stop you. “heels on,” his voice was coated in authority, and you’re quick to pull back. “everything else, off.”
“bossy, aren’t you?” you couldnt help but ask him, but it only encouraged him. you watched as he leveled the playing field, peeling his own shirt off, leaving him in nothing but his shorts. he seemed skinny, thanks to his height, but you had clearly been deceived. he was toned, everything about him was toned in just the right places.
your eyes trailed down to the metal tucked in his shorts, and you allowed yourself to pull the weapon out, holding it in front of him. “really?” you couldn’t help but ask. he offered a smile amd a shrug, unable to protest as you sat the gun on the table beside him. better safe than sorry.
you couldn’t help but trail a hand down his chest, your feather-light touch sending shivers down his spine as you traced every muscle and crevice from his collarbone to his hips. youd never admit it out loud, but he was incredible. “see something you like?” he teased, attaching his lips to your neck a final time as his fingers tugged at your shirt, eager to get it out of the way. you whimpered at the feeling, the way he’d bite down enough to make you wince, but run his tongue over the surface a second later. “don’t flatter yourself,” you managed to say.
but he had every intention of doing so. he allowed your shirt to fall to the floor as his lips travelled south, making their way down your collarbone and over your clothed tits. you tilted your head back, fingers instinctively pulling him in closer by the back of his neck, drawing him in further between your tits. he unclasped your bra with ease, giving you the impression he had definitely done this plenty of times, but you were too desperate to care. “should’ve just told me you wanted it rough,” he said, and you swore you could feel his smirk against your skin.
his hand slid down to cup your ass, his fingertips ghosting over the lace of your panties. with a sharp tug, he pulled them aside, revealing the sticky mess that had been hidden beneath. “dripping all over my fingers, huh?” he murmured, his voice low enough to send a tremor through you. his finger slid through the slickness, teasing your entrance before pressing inside. you moaned, your legs shaking, your hips thrusting back against him. “fuck, rafe, too much,” and you wished you were exaggerating. his fingers were thin, slender, hitting all the right spots like they had them mapped out.
his eyes searched yours as he began to pump his finger in and out of you, his strokes measured and deliberate. “not enough, never enough,” he countered, his tone almost mocking. you whined, desperate for more. he smirked, adding a second finger, his thumb finding your clit and circling it with just enough pressure to make your knees buckle. you leaned into the wall, using it for support as his digits worked their magic. you were dripping all over his fingers, wetting them from the tips to his knuckles.
when he pulled them out, it almost felt cruel, a long whine drawn out of you as the feeling of emptiness replaced fulfillment. “so fucking needy, jesus, shit,” he groaned, taking a second to admire how glossy his fingers were, how hard the sight of your arousal had him. “just a second, i promise.” you nodded, watching as he brought his shorts down, leaving him in his boxers, but only for a second. it was enough for you to catch the trailer, to see what awaited you.
when his boxers followed, you really wished for another minute to process the sight. his cock flopped against his abs, twitching. his tip was stained an angry red, beads of pre-cum trailing down the underside of his cock, following a prominent vein before collecting under his balls. “stroke my ego, just like that,” you heard him say, but you didn’t care. you needed him.
his hand wrapped around his shaft, stroking it slowly, teasingly. “you like watching, don’t you?” you nodded, your eyes glued to his hand as it glided up and down. “good,” he murmured, his eyes darkening. “i’ll put on a fucking show for you.”
he stepped closer, pressing the tip of his cock against your clit, hard and ready to split your folds open. you could feel the heat, the urgency, and the promise of what was to come. he leaned in, his breath hot on your face. “gonna take this dick like a fuckin’ champ.”
your cheeks burned with a mix of embarrassment and desire, his words hitting you in the core of your being. you didn’t know why, but you craved his dirty talk, his filthy mouth whispering bittersweet nothings that turned you into a trembling mess. “yes, please, fuck me,” you breathed, your voice a shaky whisper that seemed to echo through the room.
rafe smirked, his hand still working his cock. “that’s my girl,” he said, and the term of endearment had your stomach doing somersaults. his eyes never left yours, not even as he pushed his cock past your folds, eyes glued to the way your jaw dropped, your eyes rolling into the back of your head at the sensation of his bare tip splitting you open.
you were soaked, the sound of his skin slapping against yours obscene, filling the room as he picked up his pace. he leaned in, his teeth capturing yours in a brutal kiss that had you moaning into his mouth. your nails scratched at his back, leaving deep red grooves that you knew would scar. his hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he thrust into you, his strokes deep and unrelenting. “fuck, shit, pussy’s squeezing my cock,” he groaned through the kiss, breathless.
the room spun around you, the sensation of his bare length inside you, the feeling of his teeth on your lip, his tongue in your mouth—it was all too much. your body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending a live wire ready to spark and explode. “yes, yes, fuck, yes,” you chanted, your voice a desperate mantra that matched the rhythm of his hips.
his hands slid to your throat, thumbs pressing against the pulse that beat frantically. you gasped, the sudden pressure a jolt of electricity that shot straight to your core. his grip tightened, not enough to cut off air, but enough to make you aware of your vulnerability. “you like it rough, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice a dark caress in your ear. you didnt even have to answer, the feeling of your cunt clenching around him told him everything he needed to know.
his hand slid down to grip your neck, his fingers tightening as he slammed into you, the sound of skin slapping skin echoing off the walls. “you want it harder?” he growled, his teeth grazing your earlobe. you nodded, your breath coming in ragged gasps. you weren’t sure how much harder it could get—with him pounding your pussy, you could feel the way he throbbed, pulsing deep inside of you, but you had to expect the unexpected from him. the unexpected came as he leaned back, hand wrapping around the barrel of his gun. your eyes widened, but you were in no position to resist—you didn’t even want to.
there was something dangerous in his eyes, something you had only seen once, just a few hours earlier at the bar, but it drew you in more than you wanted it to. his pace never faltered, his hips slamming against your flesh as one hand held your leg up high, the sight of your cunt swallowing him whole only adding fuel to the fire. his other hand held the gun, finger to the trigger, as he pressed it to your temple.
“tell me you’re scared,” he murmured, gripping your thigh in a way that told you to expect a bruise or two. the cold metal of the gun you knew had to have been loaded dug into your skin, his fingers locked around the trigger.
“scared,” you barely managed to whisper, tits shaking with every forceful thrust. “i’m scared, rafe,” but your words were like music to his ears, the clenching of your cunt a sign that you were just as horny as you were scared.
he threw his head back, pushing your leg up even farther, enough for it to sting deliciously as he rammed into you, the head of his cock bruising the entirety of your pussy. “you should be,” he hissed, sweat dripping down his chest. he lowered the gun, giving you a temporary feeling of relief, one that didnt last long. he brought it closer to you, tapping your bottom lip with the muzzle. “didn’t i tell you?”
your eyes widened at the sight of the weapon so close to you, his fingers never leaving the trigger, but you knew your best option was to oblige. your lips parted, and he was quick to push it into your mouth. he groaned at the sight, watching your swollen lips wrap around the barrel enough to send him over the edge. “doin’ everything i tell you to, fuck, you’re so good.”
you felt the metal of the gun slide along your tongue, his hips moving with the rhythm of your mouth. you didn’t dare bite down, not with how close he was to climax. his hand tightened around your throat, his other hand keeping the gun in your mouth as he fucked you harder, his strokes becoming erratic. “you’re gonna take it all, baby. all of me. every single drop,” he promised, and the thought of his hot, sticky cum filling your mouth had your pussy tightening around his cock.
you felt your orgasm approaching, the tension in your body coiling like a tight spring ready to snap. you moaned around the gun, the vibrations of the sound traveling up the barrel and into your mouth. rafe’s eyes glazed over, his movements becoming sloppy with lust. “yeah, just like that,” he whispered, his thumb pressing into your neck, cutting off just enough air to make your world spin.
the gun slipped from your mouth with a wet pop, and you gasped for air, your chest heaving as his grip around your neck loosened slightly. his eyes snapped to yours, searching, hungry, as he pulled out of you, his cock glistening with your wetness. before you could protest, he turned you around, pressing you into the wall. his hand found your throat again, squeezing as his cock nudged at your entrance from behind.
the fear and arousal had started mixing in a heady cocktail that had you on the edge of oblivion. with a smirk, he slammed into you, his bare skin slapping against yours in a way that was almost painful. your eyes rolled back as he fucked you mercilessly, his hand around your neck keeping you in place, his other hand pressing against your stomach to keep you steady.
his thumb brushed against your clit, the sensation making you moan, your knees buckling slightly. he chuckled darkly, the sound sending a thrill through your body. “such a sweet thing,” he said, his voice deep and guttural. “letting me fill this sweet pussy up.” you could only moan, unable to do anything but submit to his will. the pressure built inside of you, a crescendo that was only heightened by the way he choked you, the way his cock hit just the right spot deep inside of you.
his strokes grew more erratic, his breathing becoming ragged. “yes, yes, fuck, cum for me, cum all over this cock,” he demanded, his voice a mix of pleasure and command. and like a good little slut, you did. your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your body shaking and convulsing around his cock, your cunt pulsing with every beat of your heart.
his grip on your neck tightened, his thrusts becoming even more punishing as you came. your nails scraped against the wall, leaving marks that would surely be there when the sun came up. you could feel your eyes water, your vision swimming with the pressure he applied, but it only added to the intense pleasure that flooded your body. “fuck, yes, take it, take it all,” he groaned, his hips jerking as he emptied himself inside of you. his cum filled you, hot and thick, and you felt the stickiness of it trickle down your legs. he leaned into you, his body pressing you into the wall, his breathing harsh and heavy in your ear. for a moment, you felt it all, right before youe vision betrayed you.
the morning greeted you with the kind of disorientation that made reality feel like a cruel trick. your head throbbed, and your body ached as if every muscle in you had given up the fight. blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the window, you became acutely aware of the rough texture of the couch beneath you. the blanket draped over you was haphazard, your clothes were gone, and a sickening weight settled in your stomach.
it didn’t take long for the memories to come flooding back: rafe’s hands on your skin, his lips on yours, the way he’d devoured you as if you were the only thing keeping him alive. and now? nothing. the couch was empty, and the only remnants of him were the bruises on your neck and the dull ache between your thighs.
you exhaled shakily, pressing your palms against your face. what had you expected? a note? breakfast? rafe cameron wasn’t the kind of man who stayed. he took what he wanted, and you’d been foolish enough to give it to him.
the guilt settled like a weight on your chest as you forced yourself to your feet, rummaging for clothes. the shame was suffocating, curling around you as you dressed in silence. by the time you stepped out of your house, the sun was high, and the day was already slipping away.
at work, the tension was evident. your manager’s icy glare followed you as you prepped for the event that night. “last night was your first strike,” he said coldly, and you knew there was no room for argument. you nodded silently, biting back the urge to snap. the day dragged on, and despite the busy prep work, rafe never appeared.
by the time the sun dipped below the horizon, the event was in full swing. the bar was packed, music pumping through the speakers, and you were moving through the crowd like clockwork. but you couldn’t stop the gnawing feeling in your chest, the anticipation every time the door swung open. he still wasn’t there.
frustrated, you stepped outside for a smoke, seeking solace in the familiar burn of nicotine. the beach in the distance was scattered with people, laughter and music drifting on the wind. that’s when you saw him. rafe was leaning against the hood of his bike, his head tilted as a girl’s hands tangled in his hair. her lips moved feverishly against his, her body pressed against his in a way that made your stomach twist.
“it’s not that serious,” you muttered to yourself, exhaling a shaky breath. but it didn’t stop the sting, the ache that settled deep in your chest. you extinguished the cigarette against the wall and went back inside, needing something—anything—to dull the edges of your emotions.
the first drink went down easy. the second burned, but you welcomed it. you poured yourself a third before a light tap on your shoulder startled you. “excuse me,” a voice said, nervous and unsure.
you turned, offering a faint smile to the tall, sunkissed guy standing behind you. “are you on your break?” he asked hesitantly.
you shook your head, setting your glass down. “it’s okay. i could use the distraction. what’re you having?”
he slid onto the stool, rubbing the back of his neck. “a mai tai would be alright.”
nodding, you set to work, your movements automatic. you slid the drink across the counter, noting the way he fidgeted with his fingers. “busy night,” he said, trying to make conversation.
“yeah, i guess,” you replied.
he shrugged, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “came with a friend, but he’s with a girl right now.”
you sat beside him, crossing your arms. “sorry to hear that.”
“it’s fine,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “i’m topper, by the way.”
before you could respond, a familiar presence loomed beside you. you turned slowly, your stomach sinking when your eyes landed on him. “this the friend you were talking about?” you asked topper, though your gaze stayed fixed on rafe.
“yeah,” topper said, oblivious to the tension. “you two know each other?”
rafe opened his mouth, but you were quicker. “no,” you said firmly. “no idea.”
rafe’s expression was unreadable, but you didn’t care. you spent the rest of the night ignoring him, focusing on anything but the way his eyes bore into you. when your shift finally ended, you clocked out and stepped outside, only to find him waiting.
“what do you want?” you snapped, already exhausted.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, his tone laced with faux concern.
“fuck off, rafe.”
he grabbed your arm, spinning you around to face him. “is this about sofia?” he asked, realization dawning on his face.
“so she has a name,” you said bitterly, yanking your arm free.
“get over yourself,” he called after you. “you should’ve known it was casual.” his words hit like a slap, but you didn’t look back. you couldn’t.
the next few days were a blur of muted colors and sharp-edged feelings that refused to dull. you didn’t go to work; the thought of stepping back into that bar, facing the memories etched into its walls, was unbearable. instead, you sought solace in the one place that had always calmed you—the beach.
the sand felt cold beneath your feet, even in the mid-morning sun. the rhythmic crashing of the waves usually soothed you, their endless cadence like a lullaby for your restless mind. but today, they felt distant, like a song you no longer knew the words to.
you sat by the shoreline, knees hugged to your chest as the salty breeze tangled in your hair. there was no anger, no fire—just an aching hollowness that stretched out inside you. mourning someone who was never really yours wasn’t a dramatic storm; it was a slow erosion, like the tide pulling pieces of you away until you were left unrecognizable.
you replayed every moment with him in your mind, dissecting every look, every word, searching for signs of something deeper, something real. but the truth was glaringly simple: rafe cameron wasn’t yours. he was never meant to be.
as the day slipped into evening, the sun sinking low on the horizon, you wandered aimlessly along the beach. the golden light painted the world in soft hues, but it couldn’t reach you. the weight of your thoughts dragged you back to the sand, and you sat again, staring at the endless expanse of water, feeling as though it mirrored the vast emptiness inside you.
you didn’t notice the presence beside you at first. the silence had become your companion, so when the soft crunch of sand gave way to stillness, you barely registered it. but then you turned your head, and there he was. he didn’t look at you. his gaze, like yours, was fixed on the water. the sharp angles of his face were softened in the twilight, but the tension in his jaw betrayed him. he said nothing at first, and neither did you. words felt too heavy, too complicated for the fragile stillness between you.
“my dad had a choice to make before he died,” he said finally, his voice low and rough, as though dragged over gravel.
you didn’t turn to him, didn’t acknowledge his words beyond the faintest flicker of your lashes.
“he told me he had to choose between me and my sister,” he continued, his tone clipped, detached. “he told me it’d always be her.”
the confession hung in the air, heavy and raw, but you stayed quiet, your eyes locked on the waves that seemed to stretch forever. “the first night i came into the bar,” he said after a pause, “it was the anniversary of ward’s death.”
your throat tightened, but you remained silent, letting him unravel the threads of himself piece by piece.
“i bent over backward for him, y’know?” his voice cracked, but he recovered quickly, masking the vulnerability with bitterness. “did some things i wasn’t proud of for him, but none of it mattered.”
his laugh was low and bitter, barely more than an exhale. “so forgive me if i’m a little hesitant to let you in.”
there was a challenge in his words, a dare for you to contradict him. but you didn’t. you stared at the water, your voice soft when you finally spoke. “i’m not him, rafe.”
he nodded slowly, the movement barely perceptible out of the corner of your eye. “yeah,” he said, his tone heavy with resignation. “but most of them are.”
you could feel his eyes on you, searching for something—what, you weren’t sure.
“i told him once that I knew something was wrong with me,” he continued, his voice quieter now, almost distant. “but he told me to keep it quiet. that’s how much he cared.”
the silence that followed was suffocating, filled with all the things neither of you could say. the ocean stretched endlessly before you, its waves crashing softly against the shore as if mocking the turmoil inside you.
“i’m sorry,” you said finally, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water.
“for what?” he asked, his tone edged with disbelief.
“for what he did to you.” he didn’t respond, and you didn’t push him. The two of you sat there, side by side, two broken pieces that didn’t quite fit together but couldn’t seem to pull apart.
tears pricked at your eyes, hot and unwelcome, and you blinked furiously, determined not to let them fall. but it was no use. the weight of everything—the loss, the pain, the hopelessness—was too much. a single tear slid down your cheek, then another, until they were falling freely, carving silent trails down your face. you didn’t wipe them away, didn’t hide them. what was the point?
you felt him move before you saw him, his arms wrapping around you from behind. his chin rested lightly on your shoulder, and his grip was firm, possessive. for a moment, you let yourself lean into him, the warmth of his body a cruel comfort against the chill of the night.
but even as he held you, even as your tears soaked into his shirt, you knew the truth. you would worship something that has destruction in its blood, blind and desperate, chasing something you could never truly have. rafe cameron was the kind of man who would burn you to the ground and then light another match just to watch you smolder. and yet, there you were, willingly stepping into the flames.
you stared out at the ocean, its vastness swallowing you whole, and you knew you were lost, eyes dilated as you watched the clouds float. you would practice the worst religion of them all, praying for something you knew you’d never have.
⋆. 𐙚 ˚
#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader smut#rafe smut#rafe angst#rafe x reader smut#rafe fanfiction#north carolina
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People have spent so much time fleshing out random background male characters and so for feminism I am going to give one of DC's under appreciated female characters this treatment . I am absolutely fascinated by Joan Garrick as a character. DC is not. But who am I to let that stop me.
So what are some things we know about Joan Garrick (née Williams). One is that she met Jay Garrick when they were both students at college. More potential context was given by Millar and Morrison in the iconic Jay focused Flash (vol 2) #134. Here we learn that at the present time she is teaching microbiology and based on the fact that in my experience a specific microbiology subject is more common in university and she's heading in for specific classes not the school day I can infer she is a lecturer/professor. These few facts paint a picture of an awesome and boundary breaking woman in her own right.
We can assume she was in college in the 1930s. This makes sense. After all the 30s was the first generation where (almost entirely white and middle class) women attended colleges in greater numbers and with more social acceptance then before. They became symbols of newfound female independence and education. But at the same time they faced a lot of obstacles , particularly in co-ed institutions like Midwestern University. She still had to navigate her way through a very male dominated institution that did not take her seriously if they wanted her to be there at all. Along with the change in female education came cultural backlash both within and outside the academy. Misogynistic (and racist) detractors viewed female higher education as frivolous, unsuitable for women's 'fragile physiology' and even saw it as the 'suicide' of the middle-class white American family. Yeah these people were the fucking worst. Anyway, being a female student at a university in that era meant dealing with and overcoming all kinds of bullshit from exclusion to outright harassment (even more than it does now).
And then there is the fact that she apparently studied biology (or microbiology more specially) in a time where most women pursued degrees in teaching or nursing (if they planned to use it vocationally) or liberal arts (if they did not). Women were actively discouraged from taking science courses and Joan would have been trying to enter an even more hostile boys club whilst fighting against even greater social pressure. But despite it all she seemingly did succeed and presumably help break barriers for women in science which is awesome.
And we can see this refusal to back down in her personality. Joan's kindness is matched by her tenacity and her 'do first, ask for permission later' personality, which whether forged through her experiences in academic or before-hand helped her persevere overcome the many obstacles she would have faced. She's an absolute badass.
Now this is not strictly relevant but she also knew Jay was the flash the whole time which is really sweet. I personally like to think she figured it out because he kept asking her really specific questions about human metabolism and the like (biology seemingly is Jay's scientific blindspot) and she put two and two together. Also he just innately trusts her with his secret which is cute considering how much secret identity drama silver age couples went through.
#this is a long one#but someone has to care too much about random female characters and that person is me#also I have only read some golden age Joan content so I might have missed some stuff#but also I can change things from the golden age if I want to because everyone else has#Joan garrick#jay garrick#flash fam#the flash#dc#dc comics#my meta#I should start tagging this
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15 day BL Challenge part 2 - day 27
Back to @slonekaru ‘s part 2 of the 15-day BL challenge (a sequel to an earlier one started by @negrowhat ) !
Day 27: Top 3 BL Kisses?
For my own sanity, I'm going to do only 2024 shows. Even then, I could not get it down to less than 10! I divided them into two ways of defining "best":
Best kisses as in most thrilling in the plot:
Wandee Goodday. I should've been pissed at how long they used that no-kiss rule to delay gratification, and many were, but for once I was delighted to be strung along. They did it amazingly well in my opinion, and the payoff was perfection.
(gif from @namtan )
Meet You at the Blossom. Of course I held my breath wondering if there'd be an actual (consensual) kiss, and when it came, and was so physical (snot and all) yet tender, I was on the floor.
(gif from @khunkinn )
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart. When they finally FINALLY come to a place where they can confess and kiss, it's wild. At first I was like "War slow down--you're going so fast you're not actually kissing." Then Yin stops him, holds him back for a few seconds, and goes in much slower and more exploratory, and I realized it was completely deliberate the way they did it--Joke was so frantic to finally be able to express his love that he had no finesse or patience until Jack calmed him down. Incredible arc in just a kissing scene.
(gif from @thisautistic )
AntiReset. I cannot tell you how many times I rewatched their kiss by the lake. The interplay of robot-human, student-teacher and servant-master all adding these layers to their dynamic, and then both of them silently agreeing to treat the kiss like a bit of research, Yi Ping's flustered looks afterward and Ever 9's delight that they had a shared joke--it was so many kinds of fun and sexy.
(gif from @alejunsu )
My Love Mix-Up. Although I found the show overall to be a let-down, I truly appreciated the first kiss! Unlike Cherry Magic, I didn't mind the original Mix-Up not having kisses. At the same time, I loved the cheeky way the new one starts the kiss under a cloth, as if they're going to fake the audience out, and then the cloth falls and we get to see it after all. So cute!
(gif by @chinchillion )
Best kisses as in best actors at portraying kisses:
Billy & Babe in The Sign. Any, all, every kiss between them is phenomenal. I know, I've watched each one dozens of times.
(gif from @forcebook )
Sailub & Pon in Pit Babe and This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans. See note above.
(gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul )
Jes & Bible in 4 Minutes. They had to portray three completely different love stories, and the kisses in each reflected the contrasting vibes with subtle perfection: awkward and giggly, artful and cynical, and soft and romantic.
(gif from @namtan )
Fort & Peat in Love Sea. I mean, no two actors seem as completely comfortable with one another physically. They go AT it with kissing (and everything else), giving the most convincing portrayal of shameless, uninhibited, uber-horny lovers of anyone this year.
(gif from @thisautistic )
Bas & Fuaiz in 4 Minutes. These two were a close second, and the complexity of their dynamic that they had to portray with far less screen time and far fewer episodes was truly impressive.
(gif from @jimmysea )
#blchallenge2k24#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday#greatinn#meet you at the blossom#myatb#jack & joker u steal my heart#anti reset#antireset#my love mix up thailand#the sign the series#billybabe#pit babe the series#4 minutes the series#this love doesn’t have long beans#this love doesn't have long beans#love sea#love sea the series#fortpeat#basfuaiz#jesbible#jes x bible#jack and joker the series#jack and joker u steal my heart#jack and joker: u steal my heart#yinwar
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A Rogue but Nice
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: Seo Changbin x reader
Word Count: 1148
Summary: When a young boy starts high school’s last year his life changed, he was known as a bad boy. However, will he change when he accidentally breaks your leg?
Warnings: small accident, some cursing
Date: 30 December 2024
(First a BTS Story of mine, now changed it)
You were running late for your first class, You saw the school door and made your way to it, but somehow you didn’t. It all looked like it was going in slow-motion, the door looked like it was going further out of reach, and before you know it the world has turned. You could hear an engine stopped and someone yelling.
“Fucking idiot, watch where you are going!” the angry voice yelled. “Shit!” he yelled, but that you didn’t hear any more as everything became dark. One of the teachers who saw what happened called an ambulance before screaming at the person.
Changbin looks down at the floor in worry as he saw you passed out. “Come on you weren’t hit that hard!” The teacher walked over. “Of course Seo Changbin! You are more troublesome than all the other students in the whole school! You stay here young man, you are in big trouble!” in the distance sirens could be heard.
You woke up in the hospital with a doctor and your mom next to you. “Ah good to see you are awake. You were very lucky, most people have more complications after an accident. You just got a broken leg.” As the doctor explained everything then the policewoman and some other woman came in together with a boy, who she holds tightly.
“Glad to hear that it isn’t something major. Now I do have some questions.” She went through her needed procedure. The other woman just stayed silent.
“So, you won’t press charges. but Changbin shouldn’t get away unpunished. So I want him to become the person who takes care of you for most of the day. let’s say between 7 am and 8 pm.
Changbin had been taken care of you for nearly a month now. He was as you would say a terrible butler. As he always had to say or sighed whenever you asked him to do something. You did get that he lost a lot of freedom because of the punishment of his mother. But in your opinion, you weren’t the worst person on earth as you hardly asked him for anything.
The boy who was once known to you as a terrible person had changed too, he slowly had opened up to you which you did appreciate. While he didn’t want to admit it, he did enjoy your company. He was pushing you through the school hallway when some classmates stopped you both.
“Changbin! Do you want to go to prom with me?” one of the two girls asked shyly. Changbin rolled with his eyes. “No, I already have a date with someone.” Hearing that also broke your heart slightly, as you had started to like him. What made you think that he would like you? To him, you were probably a burden.
Changbin sighed again after a while. “Can we... just hang out after school? you know without this whole situation.” You nod with a smile, trying not to let the sadness been seen. “well sure I guess, I do probably need to go home early you know to study.” He nods with a smile, but he did feel like there was something wrong.
Once out of school, Changbin brought you back to his house. Knowing that his parents were still at work he could have some alone time with you. “Here we are.” He helped you out of the car and before you even could say something you were placed on his couch. Within a few seconds Changbin too with some snacks and something to drink. “I uh...” He started out shyly.
“I wanted to ask you something... well actually... you know what never mind.” He said as he looked down at his lap where his hands lay. “Could you maybe help with studying?” You smiled and agreed, even though deep down you didn’t want to as you felt pretty hurt.
Somewhere through the study session Changbin looked at you and couldn’t help staring. “Be my significant other.” He just said bluntly. leaving you quite shocked. “I’m sorry? Why me? Why not the person you go to prom with?” You said in a bit of an angry tone. The situation did not feel right to say yes. his eyes widen. “Wait Y/N! Well... I wanted to ask you to prom with me. I just didn’t know how, and I only want to go with you. I promise I do not have another.”
You looked at him. “I only say yes to the prom now, but if anyway you are lying, then I will leave and never want to see you again.” You knew you were a bit harsh. And within the weeks of waiting for prom you did agree on becoming his significant other after Changbin did manage to prove you were the only one.
You sat at the doctor's office when your phone buzzed.
‘Since I’m your prom date, I’ll pick you up. So be ready or I’ll just go alone.’ - Binnie.
You looked at the doctor with a smile as they removed the cast around your leg, Changbin will be surprised when he will see that the cast is off. “You need to get physical therapy to make your leg get stronger again. And next time be more careful.” You just nod and grabbed the crutches before walking out. Your mother was sitting outside and nods before getting up. “Mom? Let’s go home. I have to get ready for prom tonight.” Your mother just laughs, knowing that you have despised prom ever since people at school started talking about it.
“So, the final change of heart?” She said smirking before opening the door of the car. “Well don’t worry, I'm sure I will love to meet that young man who decided to take you!” You were flabbergasted. “MOM! what makes you say that there is a young man?”
“I just know, also your eyes sparkle a lot.” She said as she parked the car. “Go get a shower and get ready!” you rolled your eyes but did as she said.
Once the doorbell rang, your mother jumps up to open the door and smiled at Changbin. “You must be Changbin I believe? Y/N will be downstairs in a few seconds.” When your mother said that you walked downstairs and stopped halfway to look at him. The smile on his face made you smile too and walked down further. “Your cast... It’s gone.” You nod and he smiled and hugs you. “Why didn’t you tell me!”
“I wanted it to be a surprise, now let’s go! Or I am leaving you behind.” You joked, he laughs and kisses your lips. “Don’t worry miss, they are safe with me. And I can’t promise they will be home before midnight.” Your mother just waves off. “Oh just keep them safe! I have been a teenager too, so use protection!”
“MOM!”
#stray kids#changbin#seo changbin#skz#skz changbin#changbin x reader#changbin imagines#stray kids smut#skz x reader#skz smut#bang chan#bang chan smut#3racha#skz bang chan#lee know#lee minho#stray kids lee know#jisung#skz minho#stray kids jisung#leeknow#skz lee know#stray kids minho#felix#han jisung#jeongin#hyunjin#seungmin#han#skz fanfic
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Never a frown
Malleus x reader
WC: 898
In which Malleus has doubts, and you help him get rid of them.
It’s quiet as you two work on your respective tasks. Malleus makes quick work of the stone meant for sculpting the gargoyle he’d talked about last night. You, on the other hand are busy studying an ancient looking tome meant to help you understand the origins of gargoyles, but you aren’t really paying attention to the words on paper, after all you can’t really concentrate when outside a storm seems to pick up.
Someone’s upset and you know exactly who.
“Is something upsetting you?” You spoke, finally cutting through the silence.
“Hm? Oh, no, everything is alright, dear” Malleus assured you, however you picked up the slight tremor in his voice, and you could make a pretty good guess he’s probably pouting right now.
“Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything, you know that.” And you finally turned his way and gave him what you hoped was a reassuring smile.
“It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.” He sighed, but stopped sculpting and just looked at his hands, not meeting your gaze.
“So there is something, must be pretty upsetting if this storm is anything to go by.” You continued, and at this, he looked out the window and his eyes widened a little.
“It seems I let my emotions get the better of me again, Lilia will no doubt lecture me for it” your dragon lamented.
Whatever happened really got him down, you thought to yourself as you got up from your seat and stood in front of him, taking his cold hands in yours. He looked up at you, and the sadness in those emerald eyes of his broke a bit of your heart.
“Lilia isn’t here right now, I am. Please tell me what’s bothering you.” You pleaded with him.
The silence stretched on for a few moments, but at last he started. “This morning while I was on my way to class, I overheard some students talking among each other, normally I don't pay attention to meaningless chatter, however they said something about you, and as ashamed I am to admit it, I stopped to listen.” Malleus went on, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Did they insult me? You know I don’t care if-“ you began, but he stopped you, holding your hands just a bit tighter.
“No, if they did I would’ve simply struck them down”, he muttered, “ they said it’s impossible to understand why you’re still in the Gargoyle Study Club, because it’s completely boring and nonsensical, and that you’re only here because I forced you to be.” He finally finished his explanation and he somehow became even more downbeat than before.
Now, you took pride in your ability to sympathise with others and help them overcome their obstacles, and your Tsunotaro was no exception to this, of course, you’d do anything for his happiness.
With all that being said, you’re desperately trying not to laugh ‘ all this because someone said gargoyles are boring’ which in all fairness, they weren’t the most interesting subject, but Malleus spoke of them with such love and passion, you found yourself admiring the gothic creations as well.
Try as you might, you couldn’t suppress a giggle from coming out, much to the dismay of your very lovely, and very dramatic fae.
“Do you find amusement in my misery?” He all but demanded, and you tried your hardest to put on a serious face.
“Tsunotaro, do you truly think I would be here if I found it boring? If I didn’t enjoy it?” And you weren’t lying, you appreciated the chance to learn more about this strange world’s history, even if it was in the form of gargoyle evolution.
“Do you not feel obligated to be here because of me?” He whispered, and you were quick to shake your head.
“I joined this club because I found this topic intriguing and something completely new to me. You being a part of it was just a bonus, a very big one, but nonetheless I didn’t choose this just to be with you” okay, that was a small part of the reason, but he didn’t need to know that, unless you want a tornado in the school yard
“Truly?” There was just the smallest glimpse of uncertainty in his eyes as he asked, and you couldn't have that.
“Truly, Tsunotaro.” At your confirmation, he beamed and all traces of the storm passed, revealing a pleasant sunset in its wake.
“You always know what to say to put me at ease, my dear. Are you sure you lack any magic?” He praised, with such a serene smile, it made him seem even more ethereal than he already was.
“Nope, not a bit of it, just my love for you, even with all your dramatic antics.” And you let out a small laugh, relieved he wasn’t sulking anymore, which was further proved when he started laughing alongside you.
“I love you too, my beloved child of man” and with a small kiss to your forehead, he went right back to sculpting, and you back to that ridiculously long chapter about the history of lion gargoyles, yet this time, you chose to abandon the small library desk, and instead sit next to your adorable dragon, content to just to be to him, no matter what you were doing, and you had a feeling he felt the same.
#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#twisted wonderland#malleus is dramatic#fluff#hurt/comfort
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I keep meaning to do another set of these only with academic tweets, but I think the academic tweets would be funnier with pics of the Marlowe version and I am too lazy to make screencaps (the vast majority of images out there are gifs and idk how to paste things on gifs).
Anyway, here's one that definitely works better in the Goetheverse.
#the goetheverse encompasses the operatic versions that are based on him which is nearly all of them#hot faust summer#la damnation de faust#look i get WHY mad scientist stories use faust as a template#there's a lot to say about that especially in the marlowe version#I taught a course on science fiction in grad school and had doctor faustus as the first thing on the syllabus#(my students did not appreciate this at all)#i still stand by faust being fundamentally a mad humanist 😉
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Jessica De Gouw as Mina Murray from the 2013 NBC series Dracula
#For those who do not know: this show is NOT in ANY WAY loyal to the source material#Once again Dracula is depicted as 'tormented' and 'sexy' and now also a 'genius'#(Aaaaarrrrggghhh)#but it's not exclusive to him! Everyone gets their own character assassination.#And what they did to Lucy... I have no words#The one silver lining I managed to find was that Mina is given things to do other than pine for an awful man#She's Van Helsing's student - which is already a premisse taken directly from my dreams!#I hope some day a good series does this so I can forget about this trashfire#And... I mean#the day I don't appreciate Mina cutting up a body just assume I'm dead#Seeing her happy with her accomplishments and proving all the men wrong made me smile#It was the one thing keeping me up from the coma everything else put me through#Wilhelmina Murray#Mina Murray#Mina Harker#Jessica De Gouw#Dracula (2013)#NBC Dracula#Dracula#May 9th#Dracula Daily#Dracula Daily 2024
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FAMILIES IN NEED OF FUNDS 🍉
Here are some fundraisers that have reached out to me in the past few days. Please boost and if you are able to donate, please send even a few dollars to one of the campaigns below. Small contributions from many people will make change!
Some of these are not yet vetted, but are very likely legitimate, please boost in hopes we can get these families vetted so their campaigns can pick up more traction!
Basic Necessities for Ola's Family to Live $42,772 USD / $50,000 Fundraiser Post (Vetted, Line 205)
Help Mohammed and his Family Escape War $4,034 USD / $35,000, Fundraiser Post (In process of being vetted, digital footprint is legitimate)
Help Najah Provide for her Children 965 € / 80,000 €, Fundraiser Post (Not yet vetted, but reverse image search is clear and donations are protected)
Help Evacuate Abod's Family 25 € / 49,200 € Fundraiser Post (Not yet vetted, but reverse image search appears to be clean and donations are protected)
Provide Medical and Basic Needs for Mohammed 297 € / 10.000 € Fundraiser Post (Not yet vetted, reverse image search clear, and donations protected)
Help Khalid's Sisters Escape Homelessness $1,440 USD / $15,000 Fundraiser Post (Vetted)
Help Ali Evacuate His Family €613 / €70,000 Fundraiser Post (Not yet vetted, reverse image search is clear, and donations are protected)
Help Hazem's Family Escape War €5,424 / €50,000 Fundraiser Post (Vetted)
#free palestine#save palestine#palestine fundraiser#i did what research i could for those that havent been verified yet. please correct me if necessary#just keep in mind i am not palestinian and cannot verify any of these myself#thank you to everyone who reached out. i promise i read everyones story and message and i hope with all my heart this will bring some help#i thought making this into one would have the best shot of gaining some traction#ill try and keep updated on the verification status myself but do feel free to tell me any updates!#i will do my very best but I am a struggling student who works atm. so all help is appreciated!
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thinking about how ezra pound is responsible for all of this
#dont think i could ever study english again what do you mean they spent 3 weeks teaching us pound and never once brought up the fascism😭#same w not bringing up ginsberg supporting boylove like#idk i think you can mention these things objectively while also teaching students to appreciate the medium and the fact this is just not#done at all is literally killing the culture! its killing the culture#hysterically i have found my theology profs to deal with this issue about ten thousand times more gracefully#like i had one prof who was brought up that one bible scholar from notre dame who got outed for harassing women and was like#he did xyz. his work is important because of xyz. so read his scholarship objectively but remember what he did as a person#when the christians are flexing on you then you have fucked up#also i went to a small liberal arts school in redacted country i have no idea if this is standard practice for english elsewhere tbf#and ofc we were all taught to absolutely hate freud and think none of his work had any contemporary usage
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me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK
also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up
my hairline: two hops this time!
#i'm so stressed man#sehtoast rambles#sehtoast vents? fuck if i know#i just feel like i can't get ahead#i used to be able to get all my shit done by friday and have the bulk of the weekend to myself#but that's not doable at all this term#i just had a whole ass mental breakdown over fucking homework#like i'm almost grateful T made it near impossible for me to cry bc like#i was going to have a whole sobbing crying breakdown and at least i only had to feel the mental and physical anguish of it instead#it's 3am and i just made coffee so i can do the rest of my work#luckily the last two are super little in comparison but#i can't keep doing 30 pages of notes with 10 pages of homework and a 40 question 'quiz' for math#on top of making like 7 excel spreadsheets a week#not including the 50 page readings for management plus the 50 questions that follow and the writing assignments#i'm so glad my ids class is easy. dr s is my personal jesus christ for being so gentle with her students#idk i'm just... really not doin well rn#at all#idk if anyone read this far in#if you did ily and appreciate you
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Fuck it we ball, I'm applying for out of state ecology jobs this is ridiculous
#i was just applying for chill jobs around town so I could stay at home for a bit and support my little sisters through the divorce#but idk if I can handle that#especially since my mom has started being like “hmmm you should apply at temp agencies#“They'll provide you with jobs and transportation”#which I know she loves me and stuff but istg#she's also lumping me (unempoyed for a month) in with my brother (unemployed for 8) and I do not appreciate it#as long as the jobs will help me relocate It's all good#also in the meantime I'm gonna apply to McDonald's bc I heard they have really helpful programs for Student Debt#i was alsl talking about a book I was reading and she was like “Did you get a job?” which felt awful ngl ;;
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Feeling a lil vindictive, a lil nasty this morning
So context, my brother had a work do last night and before he left he told my mum he'd becoming back here and doing so alone. So tell me why he called me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep but travel anxiety and says he's bringing two mates back? I tell him he can't I'm leaving at 6 tomorrow he just goes yeah they'll just be passing through your room. No I've gotta get up in 3 hours you can't be keeping up, yeah it's fine. The fuck it is not
Anyway so my alarm goes off 3 hours later I've barely slept, my brain already woke me up several times prior but that doesn't mean I'm turning my alarms off immediately or getting ready quietly after the prick disturbed my sleep
#Demon Spawn#travel tag#the rest of my siblings got a nice goodbye but im not a morning person on a good night sleep let alone when i havent been able to sleep#like i wouldnt have gotten much sleep regardless because of anxiety but i woulda been able to fall asleep sooner if i hadnt been dragged out#of bed kept awake by the rage induced adrenaline and the sounds of sports being played on tv and chatter in the next room#and hes gonna spend all day in bed anyway so i dont feel guilty particularly when hes had guests over constantly for the two weeks ive been#home which denies me access to the ensuite and kitchenette thats accessible from his room and he constantly keeps me awake#i dont get to enjoy my comfy non student accommodation bed because the fcker never lets me go to sleep and my mum wont let me sleep in#i did fix my sleep schedule minutely was getting tired at 12 instead of 2am from where i fcked it during assignment season so small mercies#had to wake my littlest brothers up to say goodbye and the babby started crying 😢 my mum wanted me to wake her and the baby up too#but the baba was still half asleep and definitely not processing that i was leaving 😂 she was so unbothered guarantee ill have to facetime#my dad dropped me to the bus stop and hes as bad at small talk and emotionally constipated as me but he was just coming back from a night#shift so i appreciate that that was him putting in extra effort and him checking i had enough money is as close to sentiment as he can do#everyone else? cute goodbye. my sister was already awake when i got up to the house pretty sure she had an alarm set.....#my oldest younger brother? i hope the hangover sucks
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You know I've mentioned how I accidentally own a lot of clothes similar to Jonathan thanks to getting a bunch of clothing from grandfather's and also my own personal preferences.
But can we talk about the dresses that Nancy wears in season three because those are just killer. Like look at these:
I would own any of them (especially the one on the left, I love those collared dresses). I don't like the purple one (why it isn't included here) but that is just cause I've never liked cut-out dresses. But her dresses are so 80s and yet I love all of them.
#not me just accidentally realizing that my style tends to cross between jonathan and robin and nancy#a lot actually#robin the least but it is there (more intentionally than the other two)#only one not here is steve and that is because I've stopped wearing polos all together but i did a lot#wait....#hold on just a second#okay okay i used to own and wear them mainly for high school student leadership#i got rid of them all though but i did#back in 2013 and 2014 a lot#hey styles change clearly#faith talks#nancy wheeler#nancy wheeler outfit appreciation
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CV section: dissertation defense cakes
#this is my fourth and they’re all bangers#i did not bake the cake this time but I did make the frosting and had the absolutely inspired idea to cut the weird vegan taste with orange#which pairs nicely with the chocolate cake!#going more 3D this time too with raised coastal cliffs as a partial second layer#the lower ocean part has patches of fruit to mimic the ocean current phase maps#and tomorrow I’ll add a high frequency radar made of a pocky stick and a bit of kiwi#if you’re reading the tags here’s some drama for you#my friend’s advisor is the department chair who I recently condemned in an email about grad pay#for suggesting that 4K of health care (much needed and appreciated) makes up for 10k deficit below a living wage#her job is literally to be good at math#these people clown themselves so much istg#anyway I’m curious if/how she will interact with me as the baker of a rather impressive cake for her student#sharki
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