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yuwuta · 5 months

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yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always.

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you?#gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway.............#somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing......#this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now....#juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 8 months

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some portraits based off frames I liked in the first episode of Voltron. The pilot episode still is everything to me. Thought this was a nice angle of Shiro <3 Wanted to play with giving Allura a different hair style while keeping the silhouette of her canon hair. I thought Sendak's evil little grin was fun

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #takashi shirogane #sendak #allura #shiro #my art #the gold foil makes them a unified set right #you can tell who my favorite character is based on how much effort i put into everything #i realized i havent drawn allura in ages I love her im just too busy drawing shiro twenty times to draw anyone else #i love sendak bc hes so nasty i love a cruel mean antagonist. not my best fur texture ever tho idk its just off and my arm hurts

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coolnonsenseworld · 1 year

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I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.

As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #priDEMONth #you know there is always so much happening idk what to add in the tags #i made banana bread yesterday and almost burned the kitchen (right after i asked myself how bad can it be?) i am not kidding #and then burned my arm twice trying to avoid a burn which is top ten ways to get them #its okay tho it doesnt hurt anymore #there was also my nameday which I forgot about and had a headache thorough #also when i was drawing i was considering that lance is maybe a bit too tall on this piece #he IS taller but bending like that with keith standing straight?#i mean gay?#idk about that #but i decided not to worry danceau always has heels for that #i also have been so deep in wirting hex if you dont know whats hex dw you shouldnt #but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid #im on my happy phase with it lately #no one jinx it it better last #all i wanted was bamf rescues and cliche tropes and now im trying to do them justice in 200 thousand words or less idk why #they could have been just fighting demons and cuddling #either way happy pride once again!!

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possamble · 3 months

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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way

#a little creature #sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like #is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink #anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much #the most important women in his life bar none #marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just #rose up and burst again #its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad #and she just doesnt know what to do with herself #the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen #but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV #the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be #edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated #marcille's denial of her feelings so far #bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out #in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now #bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin #so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story #it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where #she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part #and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story #and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle #so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be #more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own #but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o #what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed #yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd #i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me #i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that #so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is #i will always love him simply bc he is who he is #he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me #and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i #but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful #person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things #wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything #so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h #but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is #there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have #to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much #.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered #and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms

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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year

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i wanna shower with someone but in a sfw way. i need someone i can lean against who can wash my hair for me when it hurts too much for me or im too tired or whatever it is. i wanna be able to trust someone so much that im able to let them take care of me like that.

#i showered today and i had to like. sit down. and i just sat there for a while bc it hurt too much to stand.#my shoulders hurt and i couldnt have my arms up for too long so it took forever to shower and uaghhgushusgh #but also like??? after top surgery???? im not gonna be able to keep my arms up like that skjfhksajhfdk my friends did say they didnt mind-#-helping tho so shoutout to them i love those guys so much #anyway. im so tired. my whole body aches. i need to be put down.#mlm #mlm yearning #mlm post #mlm love #gay mlm #mlm thoughts #t4t #trans mlm #mlm blog #t4t yearning

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angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months

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felt

#anyway im gonna vent real quick #it’s absolutely crazy to me how much my relapse into self harming/cutting has made my anxiety worse #bc until i was 18 whenever my mom’d find out i’d cut i’d just be punished emotionally and physically to the point i am now looking over my #shoulder constantly paranoid that i’ll be hurt somehow bc i’ve relapsed #despite now being an adult and my parents being dead #it’s crazy how i constantly feel like i’m being watched 24/7 even when i #im entirely home alone bc my privacy was invaded so severely and my every move picked apart constantly my whole childhood #i can never behave like my true genuine self bc im terrified someone will find out and ridicule me for it #it got so bad i started to have panic attacks & literal hallucinations over it when i was younger #and it’s so sad to me bc i was struggling SO horrifically w trauma and abuse as a child and i felt like self harm was the only way to cope #and yet i was never met with any understanding or help i was just told i was attention seeking/hurting everyone around me/making ppl’s lives #hell and though there’s no way anyone would find out unless i told them now and there’s no one to control me over it #i still feel like the biggest burden on earth for coping any way i can to keep myself alive #every time i’ve done something to keep myself on this earth i have been told i’m being so selfish #yet if i chose the alternative and actually killed myself it would be all ‘oh gone too soon we loved them blah blah blah’#you treated me like i was dirt that i was was desperately clawing along in an attempt to survive #it’s as if these people would rather me have died #i do not know how to heal the decades of damage this has led to. i don’t know how to move forward #all i’ve ever been good at is being a nuisance to others that they’d rather drop like hot garbage #anyway. i cut so bad last night my entire fucking upper arm burns #i haven’t done it that bad in years. i can usually stop myself after just a couple but not this time #i just feel so guilty and heavy and gross and disappointing. even tho the only ppl who know are those who i confide in #whatever #sh tw #dlt ltr

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ikishima · 5 months

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#i tried to do the beighton test at home yesterday and all the joints that clearly passed are fine today #except my hands hurt but thats normal. ok my shoulders hurt too but thats normal.#anyway my fucking KNEES hurt so much. that was the only one i wasnt sure if i passed or not and i didnt push too much #it hurts a lot today tho i even took a gabapentin to try and see if that helps lmao #everyone i showed my videos to got freaked out and my mom said she suspected i had this??? I THOUGHT THATS ALL NORMAL #i didnt even bring eds up to my mom beforehand i just showed her and she was like yeah i thought u might have that. EXCUSE ME???#x #my reverse namaskara is kind of repulsive though like i didnt know i could do all that. i dont need to see that good lord #like it looks like if u took a barbies arms off and put them on backwards . my shoulders are so scary genuinely i was grossed out LOL #i can reach behind my back over to my shoulder on the opposite side and wave hello . LMAO ew it looks so nasty tho oh my god eugudfdgj #whyd i just try it again. ok well now my arm hurts . i will stop doing that

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xamaxenta · 1 year

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This game is ruining my life

#i knew Cid was gonna die he had death flags written all over him from the start #BUT THEN #JOSHUA SHOWS UP TO PROTECT CLIVE FROM ULTIMA #AND THE REPRISAL THEME IS. SO.#AAAAAAGgh #tears streaming down my face #shit is so blurry #going absolutely apeshit #my arm hurts too much to draw more of the au tho #but god damn this shit hits all the right story beata #and ofc i love. I absolutely adore brothers going to insane lengths to protect one another #i just. cant find another trope i love more. found family perhaps?#but its that BROTHERLY BOND AND LOVE BOEYEESSSS #sisters too!!! final fantasy 13 did it with lighting and serrah which was lovely too #the noise that came outta my mouth when Joshua told ultima to keep hos hands off clive omg. beside myself #absolutely bonkers fucking crazy #you know you know i wanna draw ace and luffy so badddddd

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mekanikaltrifle · 2 years

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occasionally my shyness and preference for privacy makes me feel a bit down when there’s so many people in the wod community here and they all look very cool but I am also just painfully unable to hold down a friendly conversation for more than 15 minutes with a stranger. Augh

#not looking for a solution #just want to say I see the wod fan circle here and youse are cool #i just........am incredibly prone to being a bit of a loner #I'm waving amicably from my dark corner #(my arm hurts tho so not too much)

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sinsofsinister · 7 months

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did my first proper workout today since 2019 and boy are my arms bad

#barely managed 7.5kg it was extremely disappointing tbh #i expected it of my left arm since it sucks but not the right one #but its fine its okay i know starting low and working up is good #compared to doing too much too soon and hurting myself #my legs are better tho i enjoy that more which is so funny to me #bc i always see tiktoks of dudes saying legs are the worst #hat shut up

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dreams-in-daylight · 22 days

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#last nights dream hurt too much to wake up from #she wanted me back and even re-proposed with a new ring #said she tried to date other people but it never felt right #never felt like when we’re together #i of course accepted the proposal and welcomed her back w open arms #said i felt the same way #even got into explaining to her that i’d blocked her tumblr (i did irl) and (irl) why i had #i looked up her account and saw one post about being ready to get out and meet new queer girls #the wording didn’t seem like her tho and i’m sure it’s partly to do w her friend #my ex-friend who lost her shit on me #in dream love agreed and said that friend had really overreacted #she and i got back together and our cats reunited so joyfully (my one her two kitties)#hell i even miss her crazy rediculous family #i felt whole again #i could hold and kiss her again #could feel her love again and give her my love #waking up feels so cruel but i also can’t help but hope for these dreams #infinitely better than the ones where she still doesn’t want anything to do with me #won’t even talk to or acknowledge me #as one of her fav shows says #sometimes life’s a bitch and you have to keep living #or something like that it’s from Bojack Horseman idk

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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#i've been so good not complaining about this... so im gonna do it now :3 #early this week during my walk... a point in my shoulder / collarbone / neck started hurting so bad #it was at that level where your saliva production increases and you start feelings slightly nauseous #idk if it was bc it was so painful OR if the pain is at a point that puts pressure on certain nerves #and during the week i've felt it on and off but at a much lowe intensity #but this morning i woke up at 6am and couldnt fall asleep bc it hurt too much 🥴#i've googled sm but i just cant figure out at all what it could be... this doesnt fit any description #it isnt focused in my shoulder joint bc i can move my arm in all directions and degrees and it doesnt make it worse #anyway i read and read but i cant figure out at all what it is and that annoys me bc now idk what to do T-T #it could maybeeeee be that im so fkn tense and always have muscle tension in my neck throat and shoulders #it is possible that it now hit a specific pressure point and now i have a pinched nerve type of situation where my muscles are tensed up #or it is bc i could have done certain exercises wrong at the gym #im always so anxious and cautious abt exercising wrong but i still cant ever be sure if i do it correctly :(((#i might have used one of the machines for shoulders/biceps/back incorrectly #like maybe the seat has been too high or low :/// and now i've strained smth???#it made me so sad tho bc when i was at the gym this week i skipped all upperbody exercises bc im too scared 😔#i want it to pass bc like it actually hurts in such a weird and uncomfortable way like it makes me wanna puke and it comes in waves #but nothing makes it better like not heat not painkillers not stretches ... so im just not doing too much #and hope it will go away :'))) but also now im scared of exercising bc what if im doing it wrong and damage my body?!? 😭#i hate my body bc i have so many random unexplainable pains and it is so annoying >.<#ok now i've complained so i feel better ^-^

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gay-fordeath · 1 month

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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho #bro i cant keep living like this #i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep #i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not #i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough #i get headaches every other day #my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company #i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries #which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever #and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability #in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL #AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL #do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn #i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it #its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation #fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever #but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that #but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work #from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space #theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped #i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them #i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without #fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and #overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck

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mantaphase · 2 months

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fever brain is supposed to make you write fun stories about the blorbos this is just fucking brain fog

#phaseposting #vent tag i guess #this sucks SO much ass tho my arms keep getting lightheaded. like theres cool air between the muscle and the skin. what the fuck #it literally feels exactly like being lightheaded just. in my arms. i've gotten the full body edition a couple times too 💀#and light hurts my head so im SACRIFICING to give you all this update but if i try to sleep the Back Oain

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orcelito · 4 months

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Oh I love how I never actually realized I have joint hypermobility until like this past year. DESPITE the fact that I can literally pull my left arm out of its socket without even holding onto anything, & can pull the right arm out too (tho I have to be holding onto something to pull it)

That is very much not typical joint mobility behavior.

#speculation nation #it also explains why my hips are so damn flexible but i cant even touch my toes with my legs straight.#i can damn near fold myself in half. not my knees tho those suck i guess.#but my elbows bend inwards a little bit. i can twist my feet backwards a little bit (given proper leverage)#and ive heard thst clicky joints is symptomatic of hypermobility. and BOY do my ankles click.#none of this hurts me btw. at the most if i pull my arms out of socket enough times in a row the sockets will ache a bit #(i try to not do it too much in general bc im afraid of wearing down the socket and then making it so that #i ACTUALLY have trouble keeping my arms in socket. no thanks. i like having them in there most of the time.)#idk i just always thought i was selectively flexible. comfortably folding myself into a pretzel but unable to touch my toes.#nah i just have joint hypermobility. wild how that works.

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