#(most people did not care btw)

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[the-meme-monarch]

just finished birth by sleep and feeling very normal about sora and all the guys having to do with him. feeling incredibly normal about how ventus and roxas have the same hair style and voice actor. and vanitas and sora

(based on this song, but inspired by this video !! here’s an english cover that I like also) base image under tha cut

[silvermoon424]

i'm so tired.

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[tucaneggs]

Thinking about yogscast classpects from homestuck

Honeydew as a Heir of Blood. Inviting change through blood, blood being connections and leadership. "A Blood-bound can often be found on a sinking ship, forcing an endeavor forward with sheer stubborn force of will. No matter how bad things go, a Blood-bound can always count on friends and allies." If there is one thing Honeydew has, its friends, and leadership. Maybe not the most adept at it, but he can bring anyone together. And partnered up with xephos, can be a powerful force.

Lalna as Mage of Rage. Using is magical abilities and knowledge of rage to undo others, to drive people to conflict or to disperse arguments. Flaring up all sorts of issues between friends and enemies alike, but also knowing when to pull back. Truely an information gathering role, but extremely useful if you want to turn a Mob against their leader. Its purely self-beneficial, and gets him out of all sorts of scrapes by letting him know who he can trust, but also how to control his own rage and use it to win.

Xephos as the Prince of Space, Space is creation, propagation, transformation, literally size and velocity of objects. And a prince is a destroyer. Described as :"The Prince is literally simplified to one who destroys [aspect] or one who causes destruction through [aspect]" Causing destruction through space, the creation of new things that will ultimately destroy himself, others, and reality. But needing it to achieve his goals. Rather than the Classpect enabling growth for xephos, it enables his destructive tendencies. If he's not careful, he could doom their entire session

Barry as a Sylph of Time, why else is the tick speed so fast in Jaffa Factory 2? Sylphs are healers, either using their aspect or for their aspect. Since Barry would be able to manipulate time, he can speed it up or slow it down as they need. Need to stop time to save someones life? Barry's got you. Need to make a garden grow faster to feed a village? Barry can! Such an ability could be dangerous and extremely powerful, but its exactly what they need to make things go smoothly.

Pedguin as the Witch of Light. A witch manipulates their aspect, and in this case Light is knowledge, luck, fortune, awareness. Being able to manipulate that would be to change peoples knowledge or luck, use it to gain understanding of the world, or bring others to an understanding. He's got a whole wealth of information in front of him, he just needs to know how to uncover it.

Nanosounds is a Rogue of breath. Unlike the Theif, the Rogue uses their ability to give their aspect to others. Breath is freedom, wind, change, its something personal and deep, and she can use it to help others break free of patterns theyre trapped within. It gives her the freedom to explore and try new things, and best of all, fly.

Ravs as a Theif of Void. Not just as a fun solid snake reference, although it mostly is, Ravs would steal the void for himself. Void is mystery, obfuscation, darkness, its things unseen. Stealing the void for himself would let him hide unseen, and stealing it from others would reveal hidden evils to the world.

RT the Knight of Mind. Knights use their aspect to benefit others by any means. Protecting it and exploiting it to the best of their abilities. The mind is thoughts

Zoeya being Maid of Hope. A maid is descirbed as taking care of or tyding up their aspect, but i love the idea of the person being "made" of their aspect. Embodying it and what it stands for. Zoeya being the Maid of Hope lets her embody hope in any form. Its believing in yourself, your friendships, the world around you. Finding that one thing and using it to your advantage. She takes care of those around her and wants to support them, and that in turn makes her an incredibly powerful wielder of hope.

And Rythian as a Page of Heart. Pages are the one class with the most untapped potential. Rythian may be an accomplished and powerful wizard, but if theres one thing he might lack: its love for himself, and by extention others. Chronically lonely, but there is possibility to grow from here beyond what he is. Pages serve through and provide others with their aspect, and opening up to others, allowing himself to trust them, would grant them a powerful magical ally.

While ususual for these to appear in a normal session... Im making Ben a Lord of Life and Zylus a Muse of Doom

Lords and Muses are the most powerful classes in the game. But they require the biggest sacrifices.

To become a lord, you need to give everything. To be a Lord of Life, ben would have to know everything there is about life, work hard to be able to control it, and suffer greatly. Prehaps he has died before, and again, and again, knowing all the ways one can pass on, before he can understand how to bring life back again. He has complete control over others lives, but while he allows the ressurection of people through clones, he cannot interfere with them. By all means, ben can decide who lives and who dies in an instance, but such a choice comes with significant consequences.

To be a muse is to inspire, and Doom is fate and destruction. Inspiring others through their own fate, like an axe hanging over their heads. Zylus knows how things are going to go, but he is helpless to control it. All he can do is show people what their fate could be, a bleak view of the future. weather or not the others listen is up to them, and he needs to accept their decision. But, not all is lost, many find these glimpses into potential futures a great help, pointing them away from their destruction. Such a change bringing relief to Ben, who may be watching someone approach their death in great discomforting, knowing how it will feel when they die.

Overall, a pretty stacked session, with a high likelyness of falling to chaos unless they control one anothers vices.

[resident-rats]

Hello Mr Rat 🐀

Tell me (if you'd like to) about a story idea you haven't acted on yet? :3

I’d really like to write a chreon fic, like a raccoon city if it didn’t go to shit au™️ where Leon is a trans man, and moved there to get away from his small town and doesn’t plan on telling anyone he’s trans/he lives stealth etc. And then he and Chris meet and kinda hit it off, and Chris kinda makes his feelings known, but Leon doesn’t act on it bc Chris doesn’t know he’s trans. So Chris presumes he fucked up a bit and that Leon isn’t interested, but in reality Leon is just scared to come out to him and is very interested

Though I’d want it to be multichapter and slow burn? Because most trans Leon fics are one shots of him getting railed, and that’s fine I like smutty one shots as much as the next guy, but I think it would be nice to have something that’s longer? Though obviously it will contain smut bc it’s me writing it lol, but it would be nice to have it be multichapter and have plot, yknow?

That’s what has been on my mind on and off since the start of the year anyway lol

Thank you for asking :D

[dennistakesamentalhealthday]

dennis is an angry character btw im sorry but he is full of rage but that rage is not exclusive his anger does not negate sadness and fragility and insecurities in fact they work together and dtamhd was one of the first times where his anger was not used as a joke via a surface level rage explosion from him but instead explored the fragility of his anger. the way he keeps reassuring the workers he encounters (and himself) that he's not mad. when he tells daisy he's not mad but he is a little bit upset. dennis is angry and that anger is what makes him so fragile. he was upset and it manifested as rage bc he doesnt know what to do with his own sadness

[squeiky]

METAL SONIC X CHAOS ZERO!!!

IN ALL THE CHARTS I COULD FIND!!

Some of the charts got repetitive, so i cropped it.

NOTES: there may be someee minor inconsitences as sometimes id change mind my across one chart to another.

If you want an expliantion for ANY of my choices here, please ask! I am starving for conversation about this relationship- so please please please ask my questions- or just tell me your own ideas! Idk! Communicate! Your words and thoughts are not dumb!! They are very important to me and must be shared!!!

Also, some more of my thoughts + notes after the cut:

-----------

I think my favorite charts are the first two, since the first one was pretty thourghough and easy to get whilst also including intresting and unique questions to the relatio ship dynamic. the second one i added a bit of character interaction so its really cute, and thats practically why i like.

---

I particularly like the touch chart, as i really had to consider wthe physicality of these two, and the custom model was fun to make (look they're even holding hands haha). It was a bit tricky considering i had to figure out what touches where welcomed and what weren't based on previous canonical interactions, and my own theories/speculations.

---

Oh, to explian the "lends clothes" and "borrows/steals clothes", i always found the neat detail of Neo Metal Sonic's wardrobe possesing a kind of.. arm warmer/bell sleeve? As well as its pants(?) Being a bell bottom.

Without the belt/butt cape, it does make metal sonics limbs somehwhat resemble the sillouette of Chaos' body, so obviously- i just figured that Chaos, if he were to wear any clothing, would probably be stolen by Metal Sonic since it already seems to be fond of that particular look that Chaos naturally has.

--

Oh, and Metal and Chaos being somewhat organized is due to thier jobs and enviornment they grew up in. Eggman, being the opposite of Sonics carefree, chaotic attitude, would likely prefer more cleaner, organized or "controlled" enviornments. Thus, i feel that Metal Sonic may have picked up a few tidying or cleaning habits that were a cause of eggman simply teaching or implimenting features in his bots to prefer the "clean up" of "dirty" or "messy" areas.

For chaos, i do recall reading something (perhaps on the chao wiki) of him purifying the Altars water and keeping it relatively clean from debries and such. Furthermore, having to be sole guardian of little children chao, the altar and the master emerald, requires a lot of responsibility and- if anyone has worked with children before- it can get very messy very quickly. So its mere speculation, but i do think Chaos would have picked up many cleaning habits as well, as well as cooking/harvesting skills due to him having to take care of large batches of critters.

Surprisingly, for a creature named "Chaos", the name only truely applies to the singular instance in which he is "Final Chaos" (as thats likely what the echidnas called him during and after that time.) Turns out, Chaos is way more controlled and responsible than chaotic and carefree.

So to segway, out of the two, Metal Sonic would be way more chaotic considering its nack for stirring up trouble (CD, Sonic Heroes, Chaotix.. ect) for the heroes, as well as it not really having major responsibilites outside of its purpose to "destroy sonic" and occasionally obey whatever task eggman requires of it.

Thus, is why in the driving promps, i title it "a speeder".

---

To explain the "Cognito Egro Sum" (aka. I think therefore i am) and the "infinty symbol" for the ages, er.. Metal sonic is a robot, and Chaos is an immortal being. If your being technical with it, you can say they're both relatively young, considering Chaos chao can't age and are often stuck in the form they were hatched in- despite the fact that chao do infact change as they age-

One can consider the idea that Chaos, for all intensive purposes, looks and probably is pretty young- if we apply chao logic to him.

Though one will argue "but Chaos is ancient" which is true, but his case is similar to Shadow's as he was trapped in that Master emerald for... millions of years............. so, similarly to how shadow was stuck for 50 years yet remains a teenager both inside and out, Chaos- for whatever age he was before he got trapped, probably still thinks and acts like that, as well as Tikal. Except now they probably need a LOT of therapy.

^hence why i put chaos's sleeping habits as "sleeps poorly" and "sleeps to little". In hindsight, being trapped in a emerald for thousands of years, with your freind of who's father killed your entire* family and burned your house (altar) down and tried to steal your most precious item (master emerald) and being the girl whos stuck with your freind(?) who killed your entire bloodline and basically genocided your entire community- stuck with him for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- is.....is going to require a lot of therapy.

So y'know, bad sleeping problems. Also probably why i depict Chaos hugging a lot + being affectionate, since being deprived your community that is entirely reliant on the concept of "caring, loving, and nurturing one another" (cause.. the opposite of that means chao will basically die upon reincarnation), for thousands of years is... a good recipe for touch starvation and a need for attention.

^hence why chaos is also on the attention side of some charts.

----

^ just conintuing off of that previous statement, i did move Chaos closer towards "extrovert" in the "extrovert or introvert" prompts, as since Chaos, unlike Metal Sonic, deals closely with many chao, and often is surrounded by a crowd of them, i do believe that Chaos would have to atleast gain some energy from social interaction in order to surivive that every day, without burning out.

----

The whole "who talks more" thing is kind of funny because, technically, its metal sonic (see Sonic Heroes + Sonic Free riders) who has more lines than.. Chaos's total of zero!

Meaning that, if anything, the "he said no pickles" meme would probably mean that Metal Sonic would be at the counter whilst Chaos is sitting in the back.

Though, compared to MANY other characters, these two are practically dead-silent, and would most likely rely on non-verbal ways of affection than verbal.

---

Oh and the "ethical v. Immoral thing" where i emphasized that chaos was "neutral" was because by compsring him to "chaos chao", theres a dark side, good guy side, and then neutral. Considering Chaos's history of amazingly goodwilled to horrendously incidous, one can conclude that he practically in the middle in terms of ethics or morality.

Metal sonic is definetly on the more immoral side, though i wouldnt put it all the way, as i do have considering enviornmental aspects to its behavior (such as well.. being a badnik, and being constantly exposed to eggman's immoral behaviors). So, other than like, unnesecarily abusing animal freinds in CD, and throwing a ship probably full of people at sonic (Sonic heroes) there aren't many instances in which Metal Sonic does something completely immoral and unjust- without any context regarding eggman ordering it too, or simply it just doing its job as a badnik.

However those actions are prettt bad on its own- though compared to... killing out an entire species... drowning thousands of people in a city and attempting to kill eggman with a giant laserbeam... and to whatever hyjinks eggman gets up too...

Its actions seem.. relatively small (though not obsolete.)

So like, theres not going to be many issues regarding "metal sonics gotta be a good guy"/ "i can fix him🥺" mentalities, since its kind of hard to do that, when you have a kill count of a 100+ whilst Metal Sonic is still on the "i'm needlessly harming animals, and threw a boat"...

Then again, i like to think the leiniency allows for them to work on themselves together, rather than tear eachother down or hate eachothers guts.

---

Transgender - both for my headcannnon, but also a refrence to it literally going "i transformed myself with my own hands" and well, i cant resist a pun/play on words now can i?

Agender- chaos dont have.. genders.

However, i thought this would change when introduced to concept of feminine and masculine models of the ancients in frontiers, but looking at Chaos, he doesnt resemble either one very much (tbh, in Sonic Forces, his model actually looks more akin to the fem version, than the pointy and sharp masc ones) and looks more akin to that of the children, if anything.

Plus, being masculine or feminine isnt really and indicator of gender anyways.. so like..???

So what? Does Chaos, gender? NOPE! Chaos isn't an ancient (thats his ancestor) and is a mutated chao. Chaos are genderless, or atleast out of that particular binary.

If Tikal showed up one day and started calling Chaos a "he/him", its likely that Chaos could've just.. adopted that. Assigned pronouns by random. Amazing.

So agender, as i can't think of anything else.

---

Sexuality -idk. Look, i dont consider whomth one likes. The knowledge of my characters, or other characters sexualites comes upon me in the way preists suddenly hear the words of their gods.

I dunno, until suddenly i know. Thats just how it is.

---

Ending it here cause im hungrt and cant think of anything else to chat on.

[qtubbo]

Ive actually been trying so hard at trying to figure out why people think qphil doesn’t care about qtubbo, and I mean specifically care nothing else. Cause you can argue tubbo’s not one of his most important people that’s fair, but also you don’t have to be at the top of a list for them to care. It’d also be really hard to argue that he doesn’t trust tubbo, and in that same vein not respect him at all. Their relationship is very complicated, and it is true that it’s way more onesided than people like to admit, but it’s not like Phil has just shown Tubbo zero attention or love. My best guess so far from all I’ve seen it’s because Phil fundamentally doesn’t understand who Tubbo is as a person, and has this very shallow view of him. So people have taken Phil’s mischaracterization of Tubbo as a sign that he doesn’t actually care for the real Tubbo? Idk I like to figure out how fandoms think… (oh also if you have your own ideas why just like tell me I’d love to know)

[deityofhearts]

good thing I am “that person” who acknowledges that characters aren’t one dimensional girlbosses who have zero flaws and make the right choices forever even when going through immense stress and trauma <3 unlike some people in manhwa comment sections 🤭

[bonefall]

Question: what’s your source on the phytoestrogens? Bc the only times I’ve ever heard that claim, they all source back to this one study on sheep in like the 40s, which… well it’s not very well supported

(Although maybe you don’t care about that, which would be fair. These are fictional cats after all not clinical studies)

You're probably coming from Hbomberguy when he was specifically addressing lunkhead chuds, who pass around the claim that phytoestrogens lower human fertility and sex drive. The "soyboy" claim.

Human studies on the effects of phytoestrogens are pretty lacking overall, but what does exist doesn't back up that claim-- because humans don't graze on red clover in west australia like a sheep. What that means is that it doesn't impact human fertility the way a terrified conservative brain stem thinks it does.

(ESPECIALLY not in a plate of soybeans, which has significantly lower levels of phytoestrogen than red clover.)

But what it DOES do is bind to the estrogen receptors in your body (and acts as a really good antioxidant but that's neither here nor there) which can mean it can act AS estrogen... or as an antagonist.

If you want to know more (especially if you have a background in chemistry, this source talks a lot about the structural similarities between estrogen and phytoestrogen and the mechanism of action) then go dive into PHYTOESTROGENS IN FUNCTIONAL FOOD by Fatih Yildiz, which collects together many of the studies that we do have on the matter and omits controversial ones.

(Plus it's an easy read for such a science-heavy publication imo)

Though I have to stress that my HRT guide is, y'know, fake cats! Nothing in nature replaces modern medicine***, but I wanted to make a good resource for WC fans with trans cats who wanted a little bit of scientific accuracy, wanted to cut herbs that cast Liver Failure 1000 on felines, and could reasonably be found in a temperate environment

***= Except medicinal maggots. Medicinal maggots are literally magical. Nothing debrides necrotic tissue like green bottlefly larvae and as far as I'm concerned they're the closest thing to divinity we have on this earth. And medicinal leeches I love you leeches im so sorry that anyone has ever called you a pest you're cherubic angels and she doesnt deserve this </3

[sugarcoatednightshade]

Tired of seeing fic on ao3 claiming to be based off dune the book series when it’s very obvious that the writer has only seen dune the movie(s).

Yes, it matters. Yes, these are very different works. You’re probably doing this for visibility; I don’t care. Archive Of Our Own is a fucking archive, stop labeling your works with a tag you know is factually incorrect. It makes it impossible for me to filter for fics I want to read.

[epiceneandroid]

i am going to say it now btw but the way you perceive alex in yiik is basically how you perceive someone who essentially has severe untreated moral ocd specifically around fearing he has npd and severe bpd and hpd that mimics npd and severe pediatric onset ocd that mimics the symptoms of DID which has happened and can happen according to multiple studies and my actual first psychiatrist who specialized in pediatric ocd btw.

if you perceive him as a narcissist and irredeemable and are going to be ableist about both people with npd and him? yeah you'll perceive him as irredeemable with no good points

if you perceive him as someone with such severe moral ocd that the thought of even OFFENDING his friends makes him fear he's an irredeemable violent criminal who deserves to be executed and has abandonment trauma around his father and abuse trauma around his mother that splintered him into multiple headmates? you're going to understand alex a little better than the average fan or hater.

basically: to understand alex as a character you need to know only one thing and it's he believes like 100 percent that he deserves to be hated for existing and that nobody should love him. it's the opposite of the common perception of him that he believes he should be loved unconditionally because he thinks he doesn't.

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[radiostaticsmile]

It both annoys me and gives me narc supply the way the entire fandom is being played by Alastor like a fiddle. Sooo many people are buying the image of himself he is trying to present and not getting the shit he is Clearly trying to hide and it's both like. Hahah, I have fooled you all. And also. No body understands me...........

lol

[musicalmoritz]

Also. I adore all lesbian headcanons but it’s weird to me that people will INSIST a female character is lesbian coded in canon when she’s deeply in love with a man, and then proceed to ignore female characters who actually show no interest in men. I get comphet exists and I do have several lesbian headcanons that incorporate it but if the feelings are meant to be genuine and positive in canon, don’t call it “coded” and hate on people who ship them with their male love interests. Sometimes it feels like an excuse to ignore the woman while shipping the man with another dude. And then it feels a little lesbiphobic when they ignore/shut down lesbian headcanons that are more realistic