#(most of my mech experience is Pacific Rim)

[faytelumos]

Mech pilot system where there's three pilots???

One for the left hemisphere, one for the right hemisphere, and one for the cerebellum?

Like, you all still have to be drift compatible, you all still have to be in the cockpit together, but there's basically two thinkers and one translator.

Imagine that the mech designers fought this for years. Two humans every time with massive neural network loads on both the machine and the humans. Pilots could only be medically cleared to operate a machine for four years, max, and then their careers were over. Most didn't make it even that long.

And then someone figures out that if you put in another human to translate between the humans and mech, it flows so much smoother.

Two pilots in the front, the ones doing the strategy and the martial arts and the orders and the takedowns. A third in the back, suspended and all but fugue as they relay human-to-mech and mech-to-human, a person turned into a slave drive, but still tangled up into everybody's heads.

Like, imagine the possibilities?!

You walk into the chow hall and the people who are interested in the shiny new pilots want to know if you're a Leftie or a Migi or a Cera.

Lefties and Migis who spent too long in the cockpit that day who feel like they can't think clearly without that little voice in the back of their head whispering the answers.

Ceras who space out when the room gets loud, who accidentally expect someone else to say what they're thinking, who have nerve damage all across their bodies because it takes all they have to sort data.

Mechs who are older than the trio structure who had their cockpits gutted and refitted, who have spaghetti running up to the chunk of metal that is the third pilot's seat, like a spare part slapped into the room and given too much control.

A Cera who hangs out in the mech bay because the humans are too far from them anymore, but the mecha can't talk to them, either.

a Leftie who can't stand being in the same room as their Migi without the Cera to talk between them.

A Migi who barely knows how to be their own person anymore because so much of their brain is just outside of their reach.

A mech that just wants things to go back to the way they were, pain and lag be damned.

[typosandtea]

Could I see 1, 11, and 14 from the Secret OC asks for Tango, Murphy, and Nathan?

Hi Void! Thanks for the ask :] @voidthewanderer

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

Tango sounds kinda like Phil Coulson (agents of sheild / mcu) but lightly modulated through powerarmour. A less electronic sounding than standard powerarmour voice though. It took them ages to get the modulator to output something they were happy with, since they don't have a body it's entirely synthesised sound. Can change voice a bit i.e. completely flat tone to hide emotion or heavily sarcastic tone (regularly) etc.

Murphy … not really.. she has a surprisingly low scratchy voice for her short stature and quite the Aussie accent though (not to the point of the obnoxious "shrimp on the barbie mate".. also it's a prawn 🍤)

Prewar Nathan sounds like Paul hogan in crocodile Dundee ahahah

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Tango.. is a bit of a mishmash of eh ideas sparking my brain into overdrive haha. The only common theme between all versions is powerarmour. So I really like the movie pacific rim and the earliest version of Tango (then unnamed) was the poweramour was a mech for sole that got shrunk. Wasn't really liking it outside of like 2 scenes though so. Very breifly considered making them a gecko piloting the suit.. current and permanent Tango exists once I remembered that robobrains are a thing haha. I am nearly finished their ref sheet! So many options for paint jobs agh

Murphy: There was a lovely companions react to sole with wings I read on here aggggges ago that I don't remember other than ooooooooooooo wings .. also inspired by the fact that 4 doesn't have a lot of not-monster mutants, so 111 dual experiment was created. Mutating all the residents to attempt to make supersoldiers in joint with westtek, most residents lived but none meet the criteria for supersoldier.

Nathan was created for 2 reasons. One is that fallout4deadspouse lived but was mutated like Murphy, and the more important reason: As a narrative foil to cutler for Murphy. Born of one scene in my head where danse gets unintentionally reminded of cutler when Nick is trying to get danse to see that shooting your mutated partner is hard maybe. And danse then being like OH. (In reference to Murphy failing to kill Nathan and danse and Murphy have a big fight about it and both storm off separately)

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

Tango → That one guy who keeps sticking joke notes and annoying things to their back where it's nearly impossible to reach. They will make an exception to their personal rule of avoiding up close combat (vanity reasons, they don't like being dirty) to strangle this jackass (it's Deacon, Tango hasn't made the connection yet, Deacon's disguises are actually good!)

Murphy→ really really really really really hates proctor Tegan after he asks her to raid settlements for food.. avoids him at all costs after that (which is easy cause he's in a cage, but he does handle all of the bos supplies unfortunately so she can't avoid him entirely)

Nathan → is hostile to everyone.. especially Murphy though, his brain being melted by the mutations vaulttec/westtek put him though has twisted his love of his wife into murderous obsession… side note: unfortunately for the bos. The man helped design power armour and knows how to open it even after mutating … rip random knights..

[litcityblues]

'Edge of Tomorrow' --A Review

I have heard great things about this movie for a long time and I think I feel safe to say that it's generally thought out of as one of Tom Cruise's best movies full stop and I might be inclined to agree with that assessment. It's also so refreshing to see a science fiction movie that while it's based a Japanese light novel All You Need Is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka, it's not based on a video game or some other already existing franchise that a studio is milking every last drop of value out of. As a result (even though I am woefully ignorant about manga, light novels and anime in general, so it could have quite the franchise going in Japan), this feels right off the bat, extremely fresh and original.

In 2015, aliens called 'Mimics' arrive via asteroid in central Europe and quickly overrun most of the continent. The world quickly forges a global military alliance to fight the alien incursion- the United Defense Force (UDF) and finally gets a victory at Verdun five years later in 2020 thanks to newly developed mech-suits.

The movie opens with the UDF planning a massive invasion of France and General Brigham (Brenden Gleeson) orders Press Affairs Officer Major William Cage (Tom Cruise) to go the front to cover it. Cage has no combat experience whatsoever and has no intention of going anywhere near actual combat and tries clumsily to blackmail the General and blame him if the invasion fails. For his troubles, Brigham has Cage arrested, demoted and shipped off to the front where he's labelled a deserter and assigned to Master Sergeant Farell (Bill Paxton) and the misfits of J-Squad who all hate and belittle him.

On the morning of the invasion, it seems the Mimics knew they were coming and J-Squad is quickly ambushed and cut to pieces-- Cage uses a mine to kill a large blue one, but is wounded by the explosion and covered in the aliens blood and he then dies.

But, he wakes up back on the morning of the invasion and tries to warn J-Squad about what's coming, but no one believes him. Loop after loop happens and gradually, Cage becomes better at combat and he spots and tries to save the hero of Verdun, Sergeant Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) she realizes that he can loop time and orders him to find her when he wakes up.

Together the two of them figure out what needs to be done: the blood is what causes the ability to loop time, but the Mimics are being controlled by an Omega that's hidden somewhere and if they can destroy that, they can destroy the Mimics once and for all. After many, many time loops and deaths and resets, they locate the Omega- but not before Cage is stripped of his ability to reset time and the last chance attempt at once final reset is for the highest of stakes.

Overall: Who doesn't love a good mech suit? Honestly, this might be the best use of mech suits since Sigourney Weaver did her "get your hands of her you bitch" thing way back in Aliens-- (you can't really call them giant mechas like in Pacific Rim, but my familiarity with the ins and outs of Kaiju, mecha, etc. is limited). Love the alien invasion aspect of this movie. The combat scene are excellent and made even more excellent by the mecha suits everyone uses.

I like Star Trek, so I'm a bit dubious about time loops as a concept, because Trek can overuse them sometimes, but in this case, it works- and I think what makes it work so well is that they die and that's what causes the reset. In that, there's a parallel to the way video games works.

I love that this is a fairly simple concept: they keep repeating time until they can figure out how to kill the Omega and end the war. They get bad ass at mecha-suit combat and become really really good at killing aliens. The filmmakers don't even try to get cute with the alien invasion-- why reinvent the wheel when humanity has launched massive invasions of Europe before and you can draw on that imagery real easy (because there are some very obvious parallels to D-Day).

The cast is excellent. Bill Paxton is awesome in just about anything he does, but I like that Tom Cruise is kind of a little weasel at first- trying to get out of combat duty by blackmailing the General means his character is kind of running against type, which I sort of dug. Emily Blunt is excellent and could definitely pull off more action/sci-fi movies if she wanted too.

Best part of all about this movie: I don't think there was an obvious set-up for a sequel, which is so nice and refreshing. This (as of right now) appears to be a 'one and done' movie, which I love. Not everything needs a sequel, after all and I love that instead of laying down the foundation for a franchise, they focused on making the best movie possible instead, because they succeeded. My Grade: **** out of ****

[yoditorian]

drift

pacific rim au!din/reader

this is the absolute barest bones of something that i briefly mentioned thinking about exactly once and had 3 separate people convince me to do so big thanks to @justrunamok, @brothersdrxke, and @zoriis​ for being my enablers 💛

this is very introductory, i’m not even sure what it’ll become yet (probably a headcanon/oneshot/concept mix) but if you’re into it, my taglist link is at the bottom 😘

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 934 // warnings: terrible interpretation of two sci-fi things i love dearly, maybe a swear idk

When you wake up to the message that you’re being promoted, you don’t expect much.

It’s not like there’s any mech teams that are missing a coordinator, so you’re pretty sure you’ll be working with the same crew you always have on the same rig you always have.

 Maybe you get another stripe to patch onto your sleeve. 

But that’ll be it, right?

You started out as a vehicle mechanic on base, instead of coming from a fancy jaeger engineering school like most of the mechs. 

Working your way up with hands on experience, you’d been pulled in to work on a malfunctioning plasma cannon prototype when they’d been shorthanded. The mech coordinator had pulled you out of vehicle maintenance immediately. 

You’ve been on Glory Horizon’s mech team ever since.

Her plasma cannons haven’t failed since you welded them back onto her elbows. In fact, you’ve only improved them with your years working on the rig. They’re still your greatest achievement.

The rest of the team start to come to life as tablet alarms begin to sound through the barracks, and your brief peace is cut short by your bunkmate swinging their legs off of their bed and into your face. 

“Good morning!” They smile at you brightly when they hop down, already halfway into their uniform.

Good morning indeed.

You try to ignore the grease stains that just refuse to wash out of your own jumpsuit, no matter how hard you scrub, it’s not exactly professional to show up to a new position in grease stains and welding burns but it’s all you’ve got. All your other suits are piled in a heap underneath your bed, ready for the laundry.

You try not to be late, honestly you do.

But the rest of Glory’s team have filed out of the barracks before you’ve even got your boots on. Evidently, some habits can never be broken.

“Your shoelace is undone.” Peli says when you finally make it to the hangar.

Glory Horizon stands tall in your peripheral vision as you smile sheepishly and tuck the offending lace into your boot. Even if a little disheveled is your go-to look, your mechanic achievements speak for themselves.

Other mech teams shudder at the thought of Peli being their coordinator, but her unimpressed exterior is just that. Exterior. Deep down, you know she’s all fluff.

“So, does this mean I get to annoy you even more?” You ask.

“In your dreams.” She huffs, but you don’t miss her little smile when she looks down at the tablet in her arms. “You are getting your own team today.”

Your own team?

No, no that can’t be right.

There’s no spare jaegers, and mech teams notoriously hate working together on rigs. Everyone has their own ways of working, systems down to a fine art. You can’t just throw two teams together without any warning. Surely even the suits up in command know that.

“On..?” You trail off, glancing up at Glory Horizon. Your giant, mechanical, Kaiji-fighting baby.

“Not that you haven’t done a wonderful job on Glory. You’ll be missed for sure, kid. But you’re getting a new one.”

What?

“A new one?” You’re confused. You’re so confused. Two and a half years working to make Glory the best she’s ever been, the best she possibly could be, and they’re just giving you a new jaeger? You didn’t even know they were developing a new one. 

“Technically speaking.”

She doesn’t sound pleased, but whatever she’s about to say next is interrupted by the whirring of helicopter blades. 

A dark shadow looms over the concrete, and a couple of rusted metal panels crash to the landing pad.

It’s got to be at least ten years old. Chipped orange stripes over the dull grey of its chest, twin guns mounted on its shoulders, you can see the wiring where the panels have fallen off of the legs.

So, new to you then.

Honestly, you’re surprised it’s still mostly in one piece. Her team must be piloting on duct tape and hope.

You’re even more surprised when the helicopters detach and she doesn’t fall over on the landing pad. 

“I’ll see you for dinner? It’s cinnamon rolls for dessert tonight!” Peli calls as she makes her way back to Glory.

The pilots get the new rig settled into the harness as you take the stairs two at a time to meet them. You should have been up there already, but at least the only person who can kick your ass about it is you.

Your team sits together on a couple of upturned crates. New recruits, by the look of them. Something you can deal with later.

You steel yourself, channeling Peli’s unshakeable professionalism, as the boarding ramp lowers. Even the shape of the head is unusual. This is going to be a challenge.

A single pilot walks out, pulling off his gloves and mumbling to himself. You’re not even sure he knows you’re there.

It’s just him, which throws you off a little. She’s not a small rig by any means, but a glance into the cockpit shows only one connection point. Huh. 

“Welcome to the Shatterdome.” You introduce yourself and hold your hand out, it’s only then that the pilot seems to realise you’re there.

He looks at your hand for a moment, trails his eyes up your arm to your face, and shrugs. He stalks off in the direction of command, shedding his combat gear as he goes. You can’t help but furrow your eyebrows in annoyance.

This might be a little harder than you thought it would be.

-

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @keeper0fthestars @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean​

[phantom-flowerbeds]

phantom-flowerbeds and @netherskull present: PACIFIC HERMITS / A Hermitcraft/Pacific Rim AU!!

So!! Here’s what Paint and I have been cooking up for the past like...two days KSDFKDSFK

Turns out we both REALLY LOVE Pacific Rim, so I pitched the idea in the Remnant server the other day and now it’s blossomed into its own AU! More info under the cut :D

First and foremost, some important info:

We’ll be using the tags #ph au and #pacific hermits for any AU content, so please post any AU stuff w those tags!!

This AU is Doc and Scar-centric!! Most of the Hermits are featured in this AU, but ultimately, this is their story.

PH takes place on Earth. The “server,” in this case, acts as the base for the Jaeger Program.

Everyone is HUMAN in this AU. Yes, even Doc. I’ll be honest, drawing Human!Doc is NOT a fun experience but we’re rolling with it anyway KSDFKSDKFKSDF

You don’t have to know anything about PacRim to follow along!! But if you do have any questions/need us to clarify anything, Paint and I are happy to answer :3cc

X is not in this AU.

For those who aren’t familiar, Pacific Rim is a movie about Earth fighting against an alien threat, called Kaijus, that originated from the Pacific Ocean. Those who are a part of the effort to push the Kaijus back are part of the Jaeger Program, which is basically a division of the military dedicated to piloting giant mechs. The opening scene of the movie summarizes things pretty well, and you can find more detailed concepts/AU premise in the Masterpost :p

Speaking of which, you can find the PH Masterpost here! I’ll also post it in my bio for easier access. As far as development goes, I’m taking care of a lot of character development stuff, and Paint is handling the Jaeger designs (since she’s really the only one out of most of us who can draw mechs to begin with LMAOO). Please feel free to send us asks!! We’re super excited abt this AU and we hope y’all enjoy it as much as we do :’))

A lot of designs are still WIP, but for now here’s some doodles! (You can find Paint’s Jaeger designs at the bottom of the Masterpost!!)

[ouranimeyeah]

Lesean Thomas’ Yasuke- Concerning yet Invigorating.

Note: I am a long standing supporter of Lesean Thomas’s work and I bear no ill will to his production but I felt I needed to say something. Take it as you will, it’s more so the ravings of fan exploring their opinions and ideas not a direct attack on Thomas or his work which are all note worthy pieces of art with their flaws and all!

Okay It’s no surprise after my thoughts on Cannon busters were laid bear and my extreme excitement for Children of the Either readily apparent, that I would have something to say about Thomas’ new project coming to Netflix “Yasuke”. There isn’t much known or needed to be said about the project other then it’s going to be awesome to get a new project by Thomas, and that there are Black samurai involved. Cool right? Well yes and no.

Lesean Thomas is a creator that I respect and empathize with. Being the only black guy in the anime industry pumping out his own content i’m sure there has been tons of red tape in the realm of production that gets in the way of everything he makes. And yet he still managed to release 2 projects. I have been following Thomas’ for quite some time and his work has been exciting when it comes to the build up of hype, but sadly don’t deliver fully on the promises made in promotional material.  Which could be considered my fault on account of me putting my expectations so high with him being the first black animator in years to formulate his own projects and get them green-lit (as far as my knowledge is concerned). It makes sense to have clear issues with his other works if I do because they have already been released and possibly even finished. Of the two works he actually managed to get on the big screen one is a completed project while the other is a pilot that seemingly died in production hell. I had a preference for his Children of the Either series (over Cannon Busters)because it showed an incredible understanding of character animation and had some really interesting concepts that I was hoping to see fleshed out more. All the while managing to have an aesthetic very reminiscent of my favorite anime while not 100% feeling liking a bone dry rip off. Cannon Busters by contrast was a hodge podge of different anime references with some very in your face and hand fisted themes which broke my immersion from time to time. It’s aesthetic was inconsistent, at times the animation would relatively nice and then be followed up by what would look like a bad episode of teen titans. I never found it in my soul to find the series as lazy, just slightly misguided in it’s production. Ineffectively allocating skillful animation and art design for scenes less relevant to the plot; having dialogue sequences that very blatantly explain things with no form of nuance; and a handful of other minor attributes that made the series kind of a slug through most of the central part of the show and even had slower elements carry onto the the end.  All in all it was a decent series however, and had enough charm and pazaaz to it to the point where i could never in my right mind give the series a lower score then a 6/10, I gave it a lucky 7. Which brings me to my pre existing fears and concerns when it comes to Yasuke. 

The fundamental element of Yasuke’s promotional information that strikes me as daunting and a little cynical is the fact that the show is going to be a quote: “Magic Samurai Robot Anime” (according to vice: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vbammy/new-netflix-anime-lakeith-stanfield-pacific-rim-altered-carbon-yasuke-vgtrn). Now before anyone comes yelling at me to ring my neck I must first start out establishing something. For one, a Mecha magic series has already been done by Thomas in Cannon busters, which I would argue was his weakest element of the series. The technology and magic system of his story never was fully fleshed out in an interesting way and while there is a lot of mystique I feel like those elements would take away especially when it comes to the samurai/chanbara genre. Which leads me to my second point, samurai anime are surprisingly rare! AAANNNNDD I am talking about strictly samurai. Hardcore, balls to the wall, classic samurai political drama stories being depicted in anime. The last I checked the only popular samurai anime have been Rurouni Kenshin, Samurai Champloo, Dororo, Sengoku Basara, Afro Samurai (which is good but relies heavily on modern sensibilities) and Gintama. Among these the only one that truly explores the culture of samurai in any way is Dororo, and that element takes a back seat in favor of the supernatural elements. MECHA SAMURAI HAVE ALREADY BEEN DONE BEFORE, and i would argue that those two genre’s should stay separate until we get enough anime depicting samurai authentically. Or at least like an old Japanese samurai film the likes of Ran or Kagemusha! Samurai 7 is a thing guys and while it had it’s interesting elements by in large it lacked one of the fundamental elements that made samurai stories exciting and that was one on one samurai fights (outside of the fight between Kanbei and Kyuzo). Samurai have become a novelty, people assume the genre is generic for japanese culture, but it’s rare in the medium of animation that they are depicted with the same level of reverence and relevance as they are in live action film and T.V. shows. I am disappointed  that the next samurai series that is going to be green-lit by an individual I look up to so much is gonna play it safe by making another novelty samurai series with giant mechs and magic. In the time were Yasuke ventured to Japan the actual political climate is so invigorating that you DON”T NEED GIANT MECHS TO PUSH THE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE. I know mechs are an aesthetic choice I get it. But honestly, they take away some fundamental attributes so integral to the entertainment value of the samurai genre and I would think that is something that is important. All in all foregoing an interesting historical war drama with the potential to have slight supernatural elements in favor of sci fi feels like something that is starting to become boring and slightly overdone when it comes to samurai. The amount of anime that are actually about samurai that are popular in the west are few and far between and there are very few samurai series being produced now that cover Sengoku period japan. If Lesean Thomas sees this know I mean no ill will, I am only stating my personal opinion as a fan of your work. Please try something else. you can still have the hip hop aesthetic with flying lotus, you can have Lakeith Stanfield play his voice actor. But please, make an authentic samurai experience that placates to the trappings and best attributes of the genre. Because we as a society are in dire need of something of that calibre. We have gotten to a point were so many anime that are being produced stray far away from the source of what makes samurai so fascinating and entertaining to watch. And if you don’t want to draw on that fine. But don’t stop me if I want to create my own Yasuke anime. 

@leseanthomas

Love you work

Keep it up !

[mckitterick]

Teaching, gaming, writing, space, & science fiction: Kinda the story of my life.

(in response to a follower wanting to know more about me)

If we've been mutuals for a while, you might know that I love, teach, write, edit (and consume!) most media forms of SF.

But did you know I've also been deeply - and often professionally - involved in many aspects of several genres, versions, and generations in SF gaming? (Also fantasy, but that's a different story.)

Imagine! Like these Battletech, MechWarrior, and Mech Commander games (chronologically):

Roleplay, tabletop, and miniatures: Customized manuals and pencil-sheets, tracked damage, heat, injury, experience - everything - in a multi-year, multi-person campaign combining several versions! (I also wrote a few Dungeons & Dragons adventures and other stuff for Wizards of the Coast.)

Computer: Alpha-and-beta-tested several XBox and PC games.

Collectible-card: Wrote monthly magazine articles about building and playing funky-but-successful decks. Wrote flavor-text for the cards and promotional copy. Beta-tested new card sets. Flew around the country “gunslinging” my decks against various cities’ best players’ tournament-winning ones. Taught newbies to build and play decks to beat the best. Trained whole new towns to run successful tournaments. Played “professionally” and was ranked #2 [chess-style] in the world, two years running!

VR pod: Played multiplayer games in Seattle's famous (for good reason!) Wizards of the Coast store, where everyone could be live-networked while we "drove" moving, force- feedback robotic pods, together in the same room!

Clicks: Wrote nonfiction, fictional journalism, and stories for the company that makes this type of game and owned the MechWarrior brand at the time. Played this game at the pro level for a couple years.

Had so much fun!

Since childhood, I've also passionately studied, practiced, published, and worked in astronomy and space, creative writing, and science fiction.

Modern Space Opera - in most of today's media forms - rocks all my passions. Movies like Pacific Rim and books like Iain Banks' Culture series combine compelling aspects like heroic friendship, vastness of the cosmos, found family, space-hopping to exotic places, power suits, 'mechs and robots, transhumanism and posthumanism, spaceships, AI, aliens...

I mean. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

Now with astounding special effects and costumes and sets, professional acting, great writing, a growing helping of feminism, unique ideas, and human representation.

❤🚀✨🌏🌠🤖👩‍🔬💻❤

Makes me happy!

If you made it this far, l hope you enjoyed the story of my Space Opera life! Do you feel like this too, or relate in any way? Tumblr's interactivity is why l love this place, too - and all y'all!

[drybleahcim]

WIP Tag

Tagged by @wallpatterns

What is the working title of your book?

So I'm not sure if they'll end up being books, or just Tumblr Serials, or what will happen, but I have two that I'm working on with a third that will probably start, and a possible fourth haha!

1) My Name's Al, and My Dad's a Demon

2) Mechpunk

3) The Adventures of Bartholomew Roberts

4) The Color of Space

Where did the idea for the book come from?

1) Honestly, I think it was the cover of a romance novel I glimpsed walking through Target... It's obviously evolved since then but I think that's what sparked it haha!

2) Learning about the history of nuclear reactors and nuclear engines and wondering what would happen if we had focused on nuclear power instead of nuclear weapons.

3) A while back I was considering a Steampunk cosplay and/or YouTube/podcast and came up with a persona that turned into Bartholomew Roberts.

4) My Dad mentioned something that sparked the idea haha!

What genre is your current work in progress?

1) Urban Fantasy

2) Mechpunk

3) Steampunk

4) Sci-fi

Choose actors for your movie rendition.

Okay, I don't have most of these characters at all ready to dream cast, but I'll say... Matt Bomer, Margot Robbie, Tim DeKay/TBD (old/young), and no idea whatsoever!

Give a one sentence synopsis of your book.

Oh geez...

1) The child of a demon and compatriots do their best to keep evil at bay and reintroduce magic to a world that's forgotten it.

2) Mechs are her life, they have been since her great-great-granddad made the first one and ended the war, now it's up to her to choose, start another war? Or leave her Mechs forever?

3) Follow along with Bartholomew Roberts as he encounters strange lands, daring chases in the sky, and clockwork wonders of all kinds!

4) Humanity's experience and interactions with two alien races whose technology is far beyond our own, one who wants to help and the other... Who knows?

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agent?

1) Self published on Tumblr unless something drastic happens!

2) Maybe agent? Possibly self-published, more likely another Tumblr serial.

3) See 1

4) Honestly no idea haha!

How long did it take you to write your first draft?

Well... None of them are done yet haha...

What other books would you compare your story to?

1) Dresden files and Percy Jackson books.

2) I can't really think of any that I've read. Maybe Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson?

3) Aeronaut's Windlass by Jim Butcher and the Leviathan books.

4) Robert Heinlein, John Scalzi, and a bit of Ender's Game.

Who or what inspired you to write the book?

1) Dresden files firmed up the vision, before that the romance novel cover mentioned above!

2) Pacific Rim, a few people I knew in New York, and a history lesson!

3) I made the persona, then Bartholomew took a path of his own!

4) Something my Dad pointed out that I ran with!

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

1) I plan on setting it in a new world with it's own theology and mythology, so lots to dig into there!

2) Nuclear powered mechs and a strong, female main character.

3) I'm going to try and write it in an older, radioplay, episodic style. But we'll see how that goes!

4) COLOR. LOTS AND LOTS OF COLOR.

Tagging @hell-yeah-fantasy, @nashbranson, and @dantedevereaux

[muffinsthefemboy]

Muffin’s Top Ten Games of 2016

Best First Person Shooter: Titanfall 2

This game is a ray of hope for me when it comes to first person shooters that are Multiplayer oriented. Respawn definitely secured a place on my Good Developer’s list thanks to this installment. Before I start gushing about how much I love this game and how it has some of the best development ethics of the past few years, I want to point out I had trouble not giving it my award for Best Design. I chose to give it to a game I’ll talk about next that I thought also deserved such attention, but seriously, I’ll get to the design in just a second. I am a total geek, a kawaii otaku, and a mediocre nerd. Titanfall 2 brings out the best of all three of those traits in me. What more could you ask for? Gundam Style Mechs, Constantly changing scenery, ridiculous levels of action, colorful futuristic cyber-punk vibes, a cast of Space-British characters, the fastest, best handling, most intuitive, fantastically responsive, and nuanced, first-person gunplay you can buy (literally quote me on that), and one damn good campaign that manages to be short but incredibly sweet. 

Now, for some “real” analysis. Visually, the game looks awesome. The futuristic aesthetic is realistic but has that sort of Pacific Rim exaggerated industrial robotics style mixed with beautifully colorful neon tones. So much peronality in this game. Each Titan is unique with lots of customizable options, and each pilot loadout reflects just as much. Amazing foley work too. Digitized roars, clashing metal, thundering steel frames, mixed with your typical battle sounds. Each Titan’s voice always makes me smile too. Boasting a diverse and unique arsenal, there’s a plentitude of play-styles that can take advantage of such creative weapons as Electric Propelled Rockets, Magnetic Grenade Launchers, Double Barreled Snipers, and plenty of others to be discovered. Just like in the first installment, the parkour and wall-running are legendary but even more tuned and refined. Fast, responsive, and actually applicable to the gameplay. In Titanfall 2, the wall-running isn’t just a feature, it’s a perpetual and vital gameplay mechanic. And seriously, Bravo Respawn. I have no scope of how much time, dedication, creativity, and finesse goes into making so many distinct mechanics and moving components function and handle so ideally, but it’s deserving of copious amounts of respect and adulation. The multiplayer offers a wide variety of game modes with fast matchmaking, PvP and PvE, fast charging abilities, customizable titans guaranteed to be able to be called upon multiple times per match, and glorious maps that cater to both the games Pilots and TItans (only real qualm is the time to kill is shorter than I and most people prefer, but the fast respawn mitigates the frustrations). Also, did I mention there are steady free DLC’s dropped frequently to this day? Yeah. Respawn knows how to treat their consumers. Microtransactions are present, but only for optional customizables that do not affect balancing, and unlike most AAA developers, Respawn offers their free DLC’s despite whether or not players bought the game full price or spent money on microtransactions. No RNG justification BS. My Heroes. WIthout spoiling anything, I’ll also mention that this game has the best Campaign I’ve played in a FPS in years. Nowadays, when campaigns are a dying species slowly being replaced with webcomics and glitter-poo multiplayer, this game gives you a story and adventure the developers should be proud of. Sweetly short, but honestly groundbreaking in design and genuinely investing, it’s a campaign that is worth the cost alone. I purchased the game in a bundle for roughly $20 and honestly, I regret not being able to pay full price getting it earlier. Obviously, I purchased all of the Customizable and Prime chassis bundles because developers as talented and genuinely admirable as Respawn deserve the support. I highly recommend giving the game a try. It’s one of my absolute favorites and I still hop on for Happy Hour every now and again just for the experiences and thrill you can’t get anywhere else. 

The human concept of love requires admiration, attraction, devotion, and respect. Conclusion. I am far more than just 50% in love with Titanfall 2. ^ ^

[daesungindistress]

@derpinathebrave replied to your post: Starfighter / Pacific Rim BigBang

Yas! Starfighters. There are not enough space operas in the kpop fic community!

Even putting aside the space setting for a moment... I just really really really really love any idea that has the guys working together as a team, especially in some kind of battlefield or wartime context. I was a huge fan of the Gundam Wing anime series way back in the day (it was actually my first serious foray into fanfic and fandom in general, omg). So if it was something similar where each of them was responsible for his own mech/aircraft/ship, that’d be fine... but if they’re combining their skill sets to pilot the same craft? Even better. Like I said, I can’t imagine ever writing it b/c I know NOTHING about all that business, anything military or mechanical, it’s all Greek to me. But one can dream...

There was another mecha type anime that aired in the US for a short time called Pilot Candidate (not an accurate translation of its Japanese title but whatever...) I still vividly remember reading fic for it and getting frustrated b/c slash, slash everywhere, and back then when it came to playing in the fandom sandbox, at 12-13, I wasn’t interested in romance or sex, I was in it for the bonds of friendship. I only ever began reading slashfic because I couldn’t find enough genfic to satisfy, LOL. Needless to say, things have changed since then... but stories with strong friendship themes are still what resonate with me most. Can’t get away from one’s roots I guess.

Reposting the pic because... well, because! They look like students at some kind of academy, don’t they? Being briefed on an upcoming mission. Or maybe exam results are being published and they’re all standing around waiting anxiously to see who scored the highest. Young men with strong competitive streaks, you know (some more than others). Aspiring pilots. Aiming to become the finest out there.

Some of them are there out of a sense of duty to their... country? Planet? Floating space colony? Solar system? (lol why not? Maybe one of them has an edge over the others b/c he spent some time mining the asteroid belt for ore before entering the academy-- prior experience handling a ship. And everyone knows being stationed at the Mars base is as good as being exiled. Nothing there but a red wasteland. But when they really want you gone they jettison you off to the maximum-security prison on Pluto.) Some were sent by their family (“Make us proud, son.”) Some are in it for the fame. Some genuinely want to help. Everyone has their reasons. But with the tools they’re given and the skills they’re taught, it all comes down to one fundamental task, a single common goal: protect and defend their home ...and each other.

[kingjamesonfawkes]

Oh defo defo!! I plan on making a page for them later because stuff with my ocs gives me life & I have a few interactions written between them and canon characters that are just.. chillin on my computer.

So more info about OCs under the cut if you want to read about them! 

Azalea and Sullivan are the most fleshed out but I have a lot of ideas for all 5 of my babies.. Feel free to send me asks about my ocs~! I love talking about them I’m a huge nerd haha. 

If y’all are REALLY interested, like i said I have a lot of interactions written for most of them saved on my computer. ((mostly with Sullivan but I have some of all the others as well))

________________________ Azalea

Azalea is the first overwatch OC I made! She started as just like “this is me, but in overwatch” and since I made her she’s grown into her own character. There is still a lot of me in her personality but her background and some parts of her personality are completely different now.

Azalea is a 35 year old who lives in Las Vegas. She’s a magician by trade. She’s very very flirty and one-night stands are abundant. She has problems with getting close with people, it gives her anxiety and stress, and this leads to commitment issues.  She’s originally from a small town in the southwest where, when she was 8, she saw her first magic act and she was like “magic is cooool” and she started teaching herself party tricks.  Over her life & during the time of the uprising she studied technomancy because she wanted to be the World’s Greatest Magician. This got her her show in Las Vegas. (Her stage name is the Mistress of Mysticism) Her show in Las Vegas led to a party lifestyle, and she got into heavy drugs which fucked up a lot of her personal contacts. She hit rock bottom and almost lost her magic show, which is the only thing she really cares about, so she went to rehab and got clean. She’s really careful now but certain situations trigger her urge to use again.  Her manager and closest friend is an omnic named “Edie,” and she commonly is seen supporting omnic rights and protecting them from assaults.  At the time of the recall she is recruited by Winston for Overwatch because he thinks she would be an asset to the team. 

She’s 5′4′‘ with wavy dark brown hair and green eyes. She wears glasses. She has pale skin with freckles on her body. Her outfit is a black and white tuxedo dress with lime green details. She has both of her arms covered in sleeve tattoos of florals in black lineart.  Her weapon (& key item in her shows) is gold with green and purple gems on it.  [The first thing i drew of her] [Here’s a ref] But i forgot her tattoos [Heres a page of doodles] (spoiler i ship her with Hanzo)

“In Game” (support hero) >Creates ‘orbs’ from her staff. (Works similar to Zen’s harmony & discord orbs) She has to aim them and shoot them, they do small amounts of poison damage when hitting an enemy, and heal when they hit a teammate. Hitting the same target more than once builds the effect.  >Smoke Bombs for quick getaways. Enemies in the smokebomb area show up red like with hanzo’s sonar or widow’s ult. Smoke lasts for only a few seconds.  >(I dont have a secondary ability for her whoops) >>ultimate: “Grand Finale” : heals nearby teammates and poisons enemys in the radius, Azalea disappears for a quick getaway (invisible like sombra)  She passively heals her shields but not her health. 

Voiceline ideas: Her ult “GET READY FOR THE GRANDE FINALE!”  Elimination “Easy as pulling a rabbit from a hat” “That’s the trick!” “It’s all in the cards” (dorky magic stuff tbh)

Sullivan

Sullivan is my first junker oc, I have 2 of them. I ship her with Jamie or sometimes poly with Mako too depending on mood. 

Miley “Hot Rod” Sullivan is a 24 year old from Junkertown. She’s eccentric and high energy, determined and quick witted, very very skilled in mechanics and machinery. She has severe mental health issues that put her at risk from herself and cause large periods of depression and anxiety. (this stuff is based on my own experiences with mental health issues & not from the web tbh)  When she was 13 or 14 she lost her family and both of her legs in an explosion that also left her homeless. She almost died, and had to cauterize her own legs in order to try not to get infections, it mostly worked. The amputated parts of her legs are messy and awful looking but she doesn’t really care anymore, not like she did when it happened, plus everyone in the outback is at least a little roughed up. ((Another thing is that she can’t have children, radiation sickness fucked that up for her.)) Instead of prosthetics, she built herself a wheelchair & souped it up. It’s her prized and only possession. 

She has firey natural red hair with golden undertones, shaved into a mohawk with dangling "sideburns". [styled like this] On top of her hair, she wears a brown pilots cap that isnt properly fitted to her head, so it's pushed back and her hair  comes out the front and back of the cap. on the cap she has big black goggles that she uses during her mechanical work. these DO fit and she DOES wear them occasionally. She has deep set eyes and her eyes are brown. Her "make up" leaves one wondering, IS that make up, or is that dirt & soot??? the world will never know. She has dark circles because she stays up too long working on projects and hyper fixates on things she wants to do when shes set on a task, she could work on something for 2 days and forget to sleep and eat until she finishes or Mako (or less likely, Jamison) makes her stop. She's very frequently smeared with grease esp on her hands, face, and arms. She wears a denim jacket, littered with patches, studs and safety pins. it's pretty old and belonged to her father and before that her grandfather, who was obsessed with "old" (but not so old to him lmao) punk bands (ramones, the clash, ect) it's kind of falling apart but she stitches it back together when she needs too because its her favorite possession other than her chair. under that she wears a black form fitting crop top. she doesnt wear a bra bc fuck bras and also she has like b cups ("more than a handful is wasted" she tells people who tease her about small boobs.) She wears really short jean shorts  that are black and stitched together with gromets on the sides like a corset and they also have studs on them (these are VERY SHORT! VERY SHORT!! like basically underwear. and probably no underwear bc thats who she is) [reference] and under her jean shorts there is a high-waisted band of fishnet [example]. around her waist she has two bandoleers of bullets for her turret that she wears like a belt. they sit just a little under the top of her shorts. Her legs end about halfway down her thighs and the amputations are naturally scarred. She also has burn scars on other parts of her body, but not very extensively. She also has a few tattoos, [on her left leg above the scars] [on her right wrist] [across her sternum] 

“In game” (offense hero) Her wheelchair is equipped with her primary fire which is a scavenged and repurposed bastion turret. (since she is more mobile, it would not be as powerful or a fast) The turret sets over her shoulder while shes using it and folds back to behind her when not in battle. See [a really old ref i drew] to show this.  >Grenades, simple & basic grenades >speed boost, souped up wheelchair has an engine in the undercarriage and she flips a level to “overclock” it and speed up for a short period of time. >>ultimate: makes her more mobile/faster and powers up her gun, giving it faster speed and higher damage. 

Zed

Zed is my 2nd junker babe! He is a good boy and i would die for him. 

Zed is a mecha fighter from Junkertown.  His full name is Ezekiel, he goes by Zed to his friends, and does not like being called Zeke. He's mixed, mostly black and maori but he doesn't know exactly what else since heritage is hard to track in Junkertown. He's 19 years old and since he was very very young he's been building. His pride and joy is his Mech that he uses in battles. He's a small town hero bc he fights until he literally can't anymore and puts his whole heart into his mech. His father was the reigning mech battle champion for a long time before he died, and he wants to win back the title and keep it in the family. he's never known his mother. He literally built his mech from nothing and has been working on it for years. He changed his mech's name to Manaaki after his father's death. Manaaki basically means protector and to look after someone, which resonated strongly with him as someone that he wanted to become 

[a ref i made on a dress up maker] [a better ref that i doodled]

about his mech: It's shaped pretty much like a large bird that he can climb inside. (it's based on the australian raven) and its painted black with like oil slick. its a junker mech so its not perfect and its in battles so it gets scuffed and dented. it also has patches of metal where its been repaired with scrap paneling.

In Game: (Tank hero) Zed relies on his mech to fight, so if you destroyed it he would go with it, unlike D. Va. The mech is piloted similar to a jaeger from pacific rim, but on a much smaller scale, about the size of D. Va’s meka.  >Primary fire is the rifle on the head of the mech, where the beak would be on a bird.  >Primary ability is flight, it  would work as like a mix between pharah and d va but without as strong as a boost, and when in the air has a passive glide ability like mercy, but this is disrupted when hit or hacked and he must land. >Secondary ability would be shielding himself and teammates with the wings of the mecha, teammates must be close to be  shielded.  >ultimate:  an air strike, in a straight line roughly the range of the "point" square (maybe a little larger) and when he uses his ult you hear a great roaring caw and see the shadow of the mecha over where the drop is

proposed interaction between D. Va and Zed: Zed: D. Va! Yer mechs looking betta than eva! How 'bouta rematch sometime? D. Va:  Sure, If you think you  can keep up this time! (playful laugh)

Vivian

Viv is my brothers fav oc of mine haha other than maybe Sully. She’s a bitch and I love her. I don’t have AS MUCH figured out about her as I do my other characters.

Vivian is a movie star "by day", big fancy life in the limelight, but "by night" she's a talon agent and a spy. The only people who know she's a secret agent are other high ranked Talon agents, and she has infiltrated Helix to gain information from them for Talon, and because of her status as a celebrity she talks to organizations she infiltrates like "hey can we keep this on the downlow bc like i know im a good agent but the paparazzi would have a field day with me if they found out about this, and acting is my first love i cant give it up" she acts like a huge bitch but she is pretty sensitive about a lot of things, she just doesnt let people in. 

[a ref i made from a dress up maker]

In Game: (offense i think) >Primary weapon is a handgun  >Primary ability is “infiltration” that makes it look like shes on the enemy team to that team. >secondary ability “paparazzi” is a flashbang that looks like flashing camera lights and stuns the enemy.  >>ultimate ability is basically a guise that anyone in the effect radius on the enemy team sees their teammates as enemies as well and can deal friendly fire to them. lasts for only a brief period. 

My last oc I just made this week so I haven’t figured out a lot about her, she doesn’t even have a name yet lmao but here’s a copy/paste from my groupchat where i talked about her concept

Support hero. She's based on valentines day/cupid/eros

 she has a bow and arrow, like ana's gun they heal her teammates and damage enemies. her powers are ""divine"" is what she tells everyone but its really technology lmao. it fools no one except gullible people like junkrat

>her primary ability is "true loves kiss" and she blows kisses at her teammates and gives them small amounts of shield (shield that works like doomfist's shield and lucio's soundbarrier) and she can stack this ability >idk what her other ability is, probably a glide or low-air flight  >her ultimate stuns and confuses the enemy, knocking them prone, and gives teammates in her radius a larger amount of shield

shes a gossip and shes petty and she sticks her nose in EVERYONES business and she would try to get people to date each other and theyre like "No" and shes like "but youd be so cuuuuute"

her color scheme is white and pink (& a little red), she's from greece, and she has brown eyes and really long magenta hair

[justteamavatar]

can you recommend some korrasami fics?

Of course I can! Man, I don’t even know where to start, but these are some of the ones that come to mind (they aren’t ranked in any particular order):

March of Progress by @threehoursfromtroy

The Avatar must protect nature, foster peace, and keep the world safe.The CEO of Future Industries must expand, innovate, and, at the end of the day, turn a profit.

Korra and Asami have fallen in love, and fallen hard. But when their duties come between them, their world convulses around them, and their pasts still haunt them both, can the world’s most powerful couple survive?

~ I’ve recommended this many times and still stand by this fic. We get to see the development of Korra and Asami in terms of their relationship, their characterization and their hardships. Also, the author is an absolute sweetheart!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6996448/chapters/15938416

Place in the World by paxbanana

Korra struggles to find her place in the world. Continuation-fic. Related to One on One. 

~ Honestly, I think this is my favourite Korrasami story I’ve ever read. It’s mostly what I would want to happen for a Book 5 of TLOK. The author alternates between Korra and Asami’s perspective in this story and brings about brilliant characterization/introspection as well as culture (we get to experience a lot in regards to the Southern Water Tribe). Seriously… just read it when you have the time. (Yes, I know some people have a problem with the labels used in this story and I completely understand, but try to give it a chance. I think the author has been quite respectful in how they handled the whole situation - but, if this type of thing really does bother you, consider giving this fic a pass)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8235412/chapters/18873364

Absence of Light by @sniperct

Ten years ago, Avatar Korra opened a spirit portal in the center of Republic City. In the decade since, Korra has overseen a new era of peace. But there are dangers old and new, creeping shadows threatening to strangle and choke out the light and throw the world back out of balance. In the absence of light, what hope remains? 

~ I’ve recommended this to some people because it’s honestly one of the best stories that I’ve ever read (this too has its own series called The Avatar and the Inventor). This story along with The Seeking Balance series are absolutely among my top two favourites in regards to Korrasami fics. Here, we have a badass married Korrasami couple and a very interesting/dangerous villain. We also get to see some good ol’ characters from ATLA!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4269738/chapters/9667932

The Everthere by @guileheroine

Korra and Asami on the steady, special road to life partnership. A post-reunion, post(ish)-college roommate AU.

~ So, I’m not usually a fan of AU stories, but this one has left me stunned on multiple occasions. The characterization of Korra and Asami is divine, their relationship progression is so pure and beautiful and the story is captivating. It’s a slow burn story that is definitely worth your time!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8541466/chapters/19581724

(The characterization in this story reminds me of Nightmares and Daydreams by SorbetLaitier - another sort of slow burn type of story that I would highly recommend ~ https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10837027/1/Nightmares-and-Daydreams)

All These Broken Hearts on That Pole by Gummy

Korra knew this was insane. Absolutely utterly mad. The first time she ever stepped foot in a strip club and of course she had to fall for one of the strippers. The entire thing felt like a tired, worn out cliche. But cliche or not, something was happening and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let it slip through her fingers.

~ This is another AU involving a strip club - need I say more? I haven’t read this one in a while, but I would definitely say that it’s worth the read!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3298841/chapters/7203143

Parts to Play by @darling-gypsum

Asami Sato has been raised her whole life to distrust benders, but now, she doesn’t know quite what to make of the Avatar. The two girls bond as the Equalist threat looms over Republic City, but the threat could be closer than Korra realizes. Asami’s allegiances are tested. (designed to blend the “Asami Equalist AU” into most of the show canon, so Korrasami, Makorra, and Masami ships are all acknowledged and explored) 

Unseen moments in the last two books, as Korra and Asami fly out of and back into each other’s lives.Sequel to “Parts to Play” Books 1 & 2.

~ This is definitely a must-read story! It takes an alternative path in books 1 & 2 with an equalist!asami narrative. Book 3 & 4 are more of what we are used to in the show. The characters really get fleshed out and we get to see lot of behind-the-scenes moments/interactions. A very beautiful story/series indeed! 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3987445/chapters/8951752

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6108466/chapters/14000713

Book 5: Light by @asami-snazz

A complete Book 5 story following Korra and Asami from the final and beyond as the couple navigate through their new relationship whilst also dealing with rising anti-spirit tension at home and considerable political instability in the rest of the Four Nations as Korra and Asami are tested more than ever before.

“The canon seemed to be being fired carelessly from the Spirit Wilds. Korra…No…Gut instinct told Asami that the Avatar would be there.”

~ I’ve always had a great liking for this story! Very nice characterization and relationship-building for both Korrasami  with a really neat plot! It starts out fluffy but gets very interesting as the chapter go on! We get to Asami have some amazing moments and we also get to see a bit more about Korra’s mental state. Highly recommend this!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3789511/chapters/8434099

Stand on the Horizon by theinvisblekunst 

In 159AG, a portal opened at the bottom of the Mo Ce Sea, allowing giant monsters that became known as the kaiju to enter the physical world. For eight long years, the world’s benders were the first line of defense, but the loss of life became too great. A fifteen year old Asami Sato has the solution, and she presents her idea to the world: Build giant mechs to fight the kaiju. She calls them “jaegers.” Now, three years later, her jaegers are the primary kaiju-fighting weapon, and she’s determined to pilot her own. Who knew the avatar would also want to be a pilot.

~ Another AU that I decided to give a chance and wow, I was not disappointed. I was a big fan of Pacific Rim merely for it cool action-packed sequences. The idea of giant robots fighting giant monsters is always pleasant to think about. Throw Korrasami into the mix and you get an even more entertaining story, especially when the drift is involved. 

This story was quite emotional for me, but I can’t recommend it enough! Korra and Asami become the true legends in this AU.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2391920/chapters/5285162

* * * * *

These are some awesome and/or well-known stories that you should 100% read (seriously, I could write a description for each of these stories, but I think they can all speak for themselves in terms of their amazing quality):

Korrasami Month 2018 by @geminisweet  *I binge-read the heck out of this a little while ago and I’m still blown away at how mature, realistic and raw this story is! Korra and Asami’s relationship progression though the obstacles/traumas they faced throughout this story was such a beautiful thing to witness! This story is a masterpiece and there is so much I want to say about it! I’m hoping to sit down and write a proper review in the near future*

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837126?view_full_work=true

Who Rebuilds the Builder by @jaybear1701

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3212162

The Beacon, Lovebirds  and Keeping an Open Mind to the Possibilities by Golden_Solidus

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2839859

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3564599

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16635380

Roll With the Punches by greatestchange (I think you all know how much I love this story based on all of the comments I’ve written about it)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11009700/chapters/24529695

Republic City Blues by Beech27

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168725/chapters/6880583

shorelines (or, four times asami sato didn’t leave, and one time she did) by nirav

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3130709/chapters/6785381

a sense of stars by lupinely 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456975

the lion of desolation and other stories series by signalbeam

https://archiveofourown.org/series/228746https://archiveofourown.org/series/228746

Learning Curve by ruminantmonk (all the stories from this author are beautiful!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3141374?view_full_work=true

Seeking Balance series by SimplyKorra (a.k.a @weissrose on this site) 

http://archiveofourown.org/series/273651

Instincts of a Fearful Body by @emirael & @skyedancer-rae

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658958/chapters/10628718

Spin the Rails series by @lokgifsandmusings and @progmanx

https://archiveofourown.org/series/188699

Venti Sized Crush by @mezoereed

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3954847/chapters/8867536

They say that true love hurts. Well, this could almost kill me by frenetic_core 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3765220/chapters/8363638

The Blacksmith’s Favor by @sy-itha

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3171119/chapters/6886439

Food Fight by @oldvelvet95 (I love re-reading this one!)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3787072/chapters/8426605

The Avatar’s Non-bending Master by clarias

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2887367/chapters/6528749

Ronin Korra series by @silks-stuff

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3345077/chapters/7317863

Goodbye My Almost Lover by blak_cat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143342

…and a whole lot of others that I want to include (but this list is already getting too long - though you may see me add things here and there overtime). I haven’t bothered adding my own commentary to these last few ones due to their well-known status. But seriously, read.them.all when/if you get the chance!

Hopefully you can find some nice stories in there that you haven’t read before. They all deserve the chance to be read and loved! Feel free to add on some other stories if you think I missed some good ones (which I’m certain that I did).

[robedisimo]

Five Things I Hate About Pacific Rim

It has happened to all of us: sometimes you dislike a movie everyone else seems to like. Other times – a rarer occasion in my case, but it does happen –you actually like something everyone else seems to think was the worst thing since the invention of dubstep.

Then there are those times when you like a film all right, but not as much as you wish you did. You went in with high expectations, you want to like what you’re seeing, but so much of what you’re being shown just doesn’t click. So much... but not enough to tip the balance either way. You exit the theatre with an exactly equal set of good and bad impressions, and you’re stuck with forever neither liking nor disliking that movie. Critical limbo.

Pacific Rim is one of those films for me. It’s fun, it’s silly, it’s spectacular, it’s got kick-ass theme music, and it tries to actually put together an original franchise – derivative though it may be – rather than adapt a pre-existing property. But for all the good in it, it’s got some pretty serious flaws which I’ve never managed to get over.

Here are my top five complaints.

1. It skips the best part of the story

Pacific Rim’s premise is an oldie but goodie. As giant alien monsters invade Earth, humanity’s last stand comes in the shape of colossas anthropomorphic machines, piloted by mankind’s strongest and bravest. A purposeful homage to two staples of Japanese pop fiction – the “mecha” and kaijū genres – the film meshes together various tropes found mainly in animated TV series, to largely decent results.

However, the plot’s appeal relies heavily on the elements of worldbuilding shown throughout the film’s runtime: references to the invasion’s beginning, to the history of human resistence, to past attacks, monsters and robot models, alongside brief flashes of museums, labs and black markets in a world that has changed and adapted to the strange creatures visiting it.

Leaving all that as vague backstory isn’t a bad idea per se: rather than start the story in a mundane, familiar place for the viewer – like the 2014 Godzilla reboot, in which the state of the world in-story starts from real-life status quo – it hits the ground running, with a good deal of plot development already established.

That would all be fine and dandy if said development weren’t massively more interesting than the film’s actual plot. The brief glimpses we get with regards to “the story so far”, with mankind’s desperate push back from the brink of extinction and pilots facing monsters while being slowly poisoned by their machines’ radioactive core, are great. What will happen after humanity finds out about the real alien threat behind the monster invasion – fingers crossed for Pacific Rim: Uprising – is equally promising, provided it doesn’t get as stupid as Independence Day did.

Pacific Rim is simply sandwiched between two way more interesting chapters of the story it’s telling. It’s a second act, neither as informative as a prologue nor as exciting as a climax. It’s Reloaded without The Matrix.

2. It fails to represent the “mecha anime” genre

This one isn’t really a matter of the film’s execution as much as a conceptual issue. As stated before, Pacific Rim wants to pay homage to a very specific – and very popular in the West – niche of Japanese fiction, that of “mecha” anime shows. It does so by employing a number of common tropes from the genre, including the binary pilot system and the existence of a higher alien mind behind the waves of giant monsters; and by inserting an actual Japanese character into the narrative, an obvious nod to the East-West “handshake” the film wants to establish.

Where the homage falls apart is in the fact that this is a movie, not a TV series. It may seem a pointless distinction, especially when it comes to feature films having budgets more in line with the genre’s visual demands. Yet, in my opinion it’s the episodic format itself that makes most of the experience Pacific Rim seeks to recreate. Episode after episode, shows such as Mazinger Z, UFO Robot Grendizer or Daitarn 3 – or more grounded “real robot” series such as Macross, Patlabor and Nadesico, if you can’t bring yourself to liken Pacific Rim to the “super robot” genre proper – follow the same patterns: a monster appears, the mech is dispatched, and the fight is eventually won by using the robot’s ultimate move, an outlandish and visually extravagant trump card designed to make kids yell the attack’s name alongside the show’s protagonist.

Del Toro’s movie doesn’t really conform to that formula: all fights are designed to feel like bar brawls, with a lot of (admittedly cool) punching but very little in the way of big, showy laser-beam stuff. The closest the film gets to an actual anime finisher is Gypsy Danger’s surprise sword, inexplicably forgotten until halfway through the movie’s runtime.

Ironically – or frustratingly, depending on your point of view – Pacific Rim takes clear steps towards a more varied approach with the introduction of robots Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon, this one even sporting a catchy “special move” name with its “Thundercloud Formation” attack. Having different robots with different shapes and specialised fighting styles is a clear nod to standard anime formula; too bad the two machines are just trashed within ten minutes of screentime.

The rest of the film is only too happy to keep relying on simple, uninteresting human-shaped robot designs and plain old fisticuffs... which honestly defeats the very notion of building giant robots in the first place, I think. My point being: if all you’re going to do is punch the monsters, why not attach huge metal fists to a bunch of regular missiles and call it a day?

3. All fights are the same

So it’s fair to say that where the film does feature a good dose of repetition is, frustratingly, in the wrong department. That doesn’t just relate to the fights’ content, but also to their setting: most of Pacific Rim’s battles take place at sea – it’s in the title; the movie quite literally painted itself into a corner with that premise – by night, and in the rain. All highly scenic conditions, but again very low on the variety scale.

Water (and underwater) fights also create an additional problem, by rendering the scale of the fighting itself mostly irrelevant. The size of the monsters and of the robots fighting them only matters when framed by familiar points of reference such as architecture, natural elements such as trees and mountains – as in Kong: Skull Island’s case – or nearby humans. Showing giant robots and monsters surrounded by nothing but water does nothing to establish size, which often leads to scenes looking more like a normal-sized Iron Man battling a bear. Which sounds awesome, but is another film entirely. There’s a reason why the city-set fight scene involving buildings, ships and freight containers was the most included in trailers.

The only two examples of broad-dailight battles are the aforementioned Sidney fight, which is only shown in a very brief news footage segment, and the flashback fight set in Japan, which happens entirely off-screen. The latter is also the only fight in the movie to take place against a monster with a design other than the homogenously reptilian look shared by all other creatures in the movies, so that’s another point of contention. If you’re gonna put a giant crab in there, I expect to see me some damn giant crab punching.

4. Rushed character arcs

Another issue produced by the film’s short runtime when compared to a full anime season is the middling execution of character development. Most main characters in the movie go through personal growth, which is commendable, but where the growth in side characters – Newt, for example – mostly works due to their personality having a “base” starting point without much need for exposition at the beginning of the script, main cast members are instead saddled by too much backstory for their eventual catharsis to be rewarding for the audience.

Nowhere is this more evident than in Mako’s character, whose entire past storyline is not only introduced relatively late in the film considering her co-protagonist status, but also confined to that whole phantom first chapter in the Pacific Rim franchise to which I alluded earlier. I know that comics and novelisations covering events prior to the film exist, but I’ve always been of the opinion that a franchise should keep all of its main cards on one table, rather than force its audience to chase down a variety of clues disseminated through different media.

Mako’s personal arc is incapacitated further by its collision with Raleigh’s, who as the male protagonist hijacks most of the film’s focus. Their motivations and character journeys are supposed to mesh but they actually end up clashing more often than not, in part due to the fact that the two actors share the same on-screen chemistry you’d obtain by filming me and a plate of broccoli.

Which is where an episodic structure would’ve come in handy. Anime shows – or any sort of televised serial, for that matter – function on an incremental mini-arc pattern: each episode tells its own small story with a beginning, development and end, and the accumulation of those chapters in the characters’ lives is what propels the overarching plot arcs forward.

Even more important, however, is the time between episodes. The sequence of separate incidents detailed in an adventure series is interspersed with off-screen periods of time which imply passage of time and, with it, the building of shared experiences between cast members. Pacific Rim is a two-hour-and-change movie which can only tell one story, with one story arc. The time we see our main characters spend together on-screen is pretty much all the time they actually spend together, getting to know each other, in-story. And it’s not nearly enough.

5. Dumbest line in (pre)history

So here’s where I need to take a deep breath. As I said at the beginning of this post, I harbour no hard feelings towards Pacific Rim. It’s one of those movies I’ll happily watch if there’s a TV rerun on even though I don’t especially love them, like Ghostbusters II. Still, for the fifteen seconds it takes for this specific moment to come and go, I hate this movie.

With a burning passion.

The following exchange happens right after Newt, one of the film’s two resident  kaijū experts, links his own mind with a brain extracted from one of the alien beasties, gaining insight into their motives and modus operandi:

They overtake worlds. They just consume them... and then they move on to the next. And they've been here before in sort of a trial run. It was the dinosaurs. But the atmosphere wasn't conducive, right? So they waited it out. And they waited it out. And now with ozone depletion, and carbon monoxide, polluted waters... well, we've practically terraformed it for them.

Yes, you read that right. Dinosaurs were not original products of earthly evolution, but rather alien invaders. Which is, of course, supported by fossil evidence showing that dinosaurs had glowing acid for blood. Not to mention, by the fact that modern-day descendants of those prehistoric animals, such as all birds, are well known for their ability to produce electro-magnetic pulses.

It was, however, a brief invasion, as that first, failed trial run ended as the aliens realised the Earth’s atmosphere wasn’t right for them yet. Which explains why dinosaurs only stuck around for about 175 million years.

An enlightened fella in a YouTube comment section once tried to vehemently explain to me that the true meaning of that line was that “it was the [event that caused the extinction of] dinosaurs”, true to the widespread grammatical convention of omitting key passages in dialogue sentences. Needless to say, I think that explanation is “pretty [much an ultimately futile attempt to avoid admitting that a film you like may actually be really] stupid”.

For those few seconds, Pacific Rim shows a side of itself that I was honestly shocked to see in a film by Guillermo Del Toro: a complete, wild disregard for even the most basic notions of credibility and logic, and a stunning willingness to treat its audience like idiots. Even in the theatre it knocked me off from story immersion in a major way, and I never fully recovered for the rest of the runtime.

And that’s why that is the dumbest single line in a monster movie this side of Sharknado. Let’s hope the next one features less talking and more crab punching.

[rp-dreamland]

looking for someone who's into character&plot development?

About Me:

My name’s Wells and I revolve around drawing, researching, shitposting, and writing. He/She/They works for me.  As heads up for anyone that may be uncomfortable, I turn 18 pretty soon and am starting college this fall. I’m seeking a couple of rp/writing partners to kick off the summer and school year. I’m not really in many fandoms, the only ones I like significantly enough to name being Mr. Robot, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Pacific Rim, Sense8, Killjoys, and the 100 (though i haven’t watched past season 2 whoops).

7 years rp experience

I write 3rd person multi-paragraph exclusively. Warning: my replies can get pretty lengthy, especially my starters as I’ve got a habit of thoroughly establishing the scene as to make starting off for my partner simpler (I’ve gone up to 9 paragraphs once whoops).  

I’m able to double or rp multiple characters. I’m pretty good at with NPC’s/side characters to help move things along when it’s convenient.

Timezone is EST.

I mainly use Skype + GoogleDocs, and I’m willing to try email

I try to respond at least several times a day, and I’ll do my best to give you  a heads up if shit’s going on and I won’t be active for awhile. I value communication – don’t think we click/vibe? Hey man it happens. You aren’t feeling the direction/plot? It’s not fair if both of us aren’t digging it. I’d rather you don’t disappear out of the blue, heck even a simple “nah” will suffice.

I mainly do m/m or f/f.

Things are very likely to get hectic in August, so please be patient if replies aren’t as fast.

RP Preferences:

For the most part, I’m better off with original rp. I really really love plotting, character development, and worldbuilding!! Throw me your oc’s and their profiles and playlists. Hit me up with those AU’s and plots. I particularly like designing societies and imposing norms and rules (hint: they’re usually shitty/bizarre) and seeing how they affect the inhabitants/members. Though I can’t say I’m good at it yet, fictional politics and social issues + how they shape the characters are really fascinating and interesting for me. Exploring characters, building relationships, and making them  fight interact is so much fun.

As far as plotting, I prefer establishing a setting and somewhat of a plot direction before doing anything. Something based off an existing movie/show/book is pretty fun too (etc. our oc’s taking the roles of the characters).

Lately I’ve been in the mood for some drama and strained relationships (my usage of the word isn’t limited to romantic!), as well as crime.

Genres:

Crime

Adventure

Apocalyptic/Post-Apoc

Dystopia

Sci-Fi (cough space operas)

Historical (Greaser era, WWII)

Drama

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics. I don’t think this is really a genre but? I dig this not so much for the smut aspect (though hey nothing wrong with that,,) but for the potential worldbuilding. A/B/O stuff is fascinating to me b/c I see a lot to work with~

Plot Ideas:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x6oe6MZaO0KufEaO1uswTJTlCxdyDLK2zxQbK6-BovM/edit?usp=sharing

Limits and nahs:

*For the most part, I’m not squeamish and have no triggers. I’m comfortable with vulgarity and casual sexual content and I’m down with exploring darker themes and harsh realities, especially if they’re being used to explore a character.

I won’t do m/f. I don’t hate it, but I’ve had too many cliche smut seekers blowing up my DM at the slightest mention of tolerance towards it lmao, not to mention it’s typically boring and monotonous in dynamic from most of my experiences

RPing as real people (e.g. celebrities, youtubers).

Please don’t hit me up seeking smut. I’m not against it, but I’d rather do that sort of thing on my own terms with someone I’m comfortable with.

I don’t do that mpreg, pedophilia, scat, piss, mutilation – y’know the like – shit. No furries or mechs either.

Excessive, plain guro violence that’s done purely for the sake of it

I don’t really like 1st person pov

Partner preferences:

I’m more comfortable with someone in the 17-21 age range.

Someone who is comfortable with m/m, f/f, queerness in general.

Please please please be wiling to work with me and throw ideas right back. I’ve been in a lot of rp’s where I’m the main one pushing the plot and providing obstacles and such to spice things up.

Can double/write multiple characters. i’m not talking like a whole cast but 2 would be just fine!

Have preexisting or developed oc’s. This would be nice but it’s optional.

Can match my content/writing for the most part? Don’t feel too pressured by length, as the saying goes quality over quantity. I feel like I’ve bugged partners in the past with how in depth I’ve gotten haha.

Please have a grasp on grammar and punctuation. Ofc we all make mistakes and nobody’s gonna penalize you for using the wrong ‘your’, but ya’ know.

Read everything and are interested? Please don’t start off w/ “Hey I liked your ad let’s rp”. An introduction and brief rundown of your preferences would be great. Plot ideas are even better. You can contact me at wellsd0ne on Skype, or righterwells@gmail.com. Hope to hear from ya’.

[fyrapartnersearch]

About Me:

My name’s Wells and I revolve around drawing, researching, shitposting, and writing. He/She/They works for me.  As heads up for anyone that may be uncomfortable, I turn 18 pretty soon and am starting college this fall. I’m seeking a couple of rp/writing partners to kick off the summer and school year. I’m not really in many fandoms, the only ones I like significantly enough to name being Mr. Robot, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Pacific Rim, Sense8, Killjoys, and the 100 (though i haven’t watched past season 2 whoops).

7 years rp experience

I write 3rd person multi-paragraph exclusively. Warning: my replies can get pretty lengthy, especially my starters as I’ve got a habit of thoroughly establishing the scene as to make starting off for my partner simpler (I’ve gone up to 9 paragraphs once whoops).  

I’m able to double or rp multiple characters.

Timezone is EST.

I use Skype + GoogleDocs, and I won’t give out my email until we’ve decided on something.

I try to respond at least several times a day, and I’ll do my best to give you  a heads up if shit’s going on and I won’t be active for awhile. I value communication – don’t think we click/vibe? Hey man it happens. You aren’t feeling the direction/plot? It’s not fair if both of us aren’t digging it. I’d rather you don’t disappear out of the blue, heck even a simple “nah” will suffice.

Things are very likely to get hectic in August, so please be patient if replies aren’t as fast.

  RP Preferences:

I really really love plotting, character development, and worldbuilding!! Throw me your oc’s and their profiles. Hit me up with those AU’s and plots. I particularly like designing societies and imposing norms and rules (hint: they’re usually shitty/bizarre) and seeing how they affect the inhabitants/members. Though I can’t say I’m good at it yet, fictional politics and social issues + how they shape the characters are really fascinating and interesting for me.

Exploring characters, building relationships, and making them fight interact is so much fun. As far as plotting, I prefer establishing a setting and somewhat of a plot direction before doing anything. Something based off an existing movie/show/book is pretty fun too (etc. our oc’s taking the roles of the characters).

Lately I’ve been in the mood for some drama and strained relationships (my usage of the word isn’t limited to romantic!), as well as crime.

  Genres:

Crime

Adventure

Apocalyptic/Post-Apoc

Dystopia

Sci-Fi

Historical (Greaser era, WWII)

Drama

Alpha/Beto/Omega Dynamics. I don’t think this is really a genre but? I dig this not so much for the smut aspect (though hey nothing wrong with that,,) but for the potential worldbuilding. A/B/O stuff is fascinating to me b/c I see a lot to work with~

Plot Ideas:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x6oe6MZaO0KufEaO1uswTJTlCxdyDLK2zxQbK6-BovM/edit?usp=sharing

  Limits and nahs:

*For the most part, I’m not squeamish and have no triggers. I’m comfortable with vulgarity and casual sexual content and I’m down with exploring darker themes and harsh realities, especially if they’re being used to explore a character.

  I won’t do m/f. I don’t hate it, but I’ve had too many hard kink cliche smut seekers blowing up my DM as the slightest mention of tolerance towards it lmao, not to mention it’s typically boring and monotonous in dynamic from most of my experiences

RPing as real people (e.g. celebrities, youtubers).

Please don’t hit me up seeking smut. I’m not against it, but I’d rather do that sort of thing on my own terms with someone I’m comfortable with.

I don’t do that mpreg, pedophilia, scat, piss, mutilation – y’know the like – shit. No furries or mechs either.

Excessive, plain guro violence that’s done purely for the sake of it

I don’t really like 1st person pov

  Partner preferences:

I’m more comfortable with someone in the 17-21 age range.

Someone who is comfortable with m/m, f/f, queerness in general.

Please please please be wiling to work with me and come up with ideas yourself. I’ve been in a lot of rp’s where I’m the main one pushing the plot and providing obstacles and such to spice things up.

Can double/write multiple characters i’m not talking like a whole cast but 2 would be just fine!

Have preexisting or developed oc’s. This would be nice but it’s optional.

Can match my content/writing for the most part? Don’t feel too pressured by length, as the saying goes quality over quantity. I just I feel like I’ve bugged partners in the past with how in depth I’ve gotten haha.

Please have a decent grasp on grammar and punctuation. Ofc we all make mistakes and nobody’s gonna penalize you for using the wrong ‘your’, but ya’ know.

Read everything and are interested? Please don’t start off w/ “Hey I liked your ad let’s rp”. An introduction and brief rundown of your preferences would be great. Plot ideas/specific things you l mentioned that you really liked are even better. You can contact me @anakng-pating on here or wellsd0ne on Skype. Hope to hear from ya’.

[dpargyle]

Radio Free Lucy: Episode #1: Out from the Wardrobe Transcript

[RADIO ARGYLE INTRO STING - This 5 & a half second sting involves: the fumbling of a needle onto vinyl, the low murmur of vinyl crackle, what sounds like some sort of scifi engine ramping up, the rumble of thunder paired with a distinct sonar blip - then finally - a high-pitched female youth with a British accent (filtered through the subtle distortion of a phone/radio line) saying “Radio Argyle”]

[Lead In Background Music FADES IN: It’s playing soft & low in background as lead in rolls on. Lead In Music - it’s “Arrival” by How the Night Came - an upbeat, brief, acoustic guitar piece]

[Podcast VO - Lucy. A youthful female British voice]

Welcome! You lovely lunatics & worthwhile weirdos! This! is Radio Free Lucy.

[Lead In Music FADES OUT.]

[Episode Background Music 1 FADES IN: - it’s “Fluidscape” by Kevin MacLeod, which serves as a slightly hopeful, slightly ambient underhum for the piece.]

Episode One: Out from the Wardrobe

~

Hi.

I’m not sure how to say any of this out loud, yet. This Radio Argyle Bot player, which is a modified text to speech robot voice, will serve my purposes best. She’ll be clearer than my, actual, garbled disabled, boy, voice. Anyway, here goes. This isn’t going to come out perfectly, sequentially, or even logically, but I hope it’ll come out, me.

This isn’t a persuasive essay. You’ll either listen, & at least try to understand, or you won’t. I know a lot of what I say may be shocking, & it’ll definitely take some time to adjust to, even for me, but all I’m asking, is that you try.

This is more a memoir, or a prose poem. & poetry is flowers. Beautiful. But they can, & they will, cut you with their sharp pointy thorns. Truth, like the gods, can be a fickle bitch. She can hurt you. So please, be patient with me, while I bleed here before you, for a bit. I also ask that you make yourself comfortable, & listen to this in a safe space, away from prying ears.

Thank you.

While my primary purpose here will be to explain to, you, what’s truly been going on, with me, I think it will also be very helpful for me, to explain to, myself, what’s been going on with me. In as concise & as clear a manner, as I possibly can. Conciseness, however, has never really been my strong suit.

So you might as well buckle up, buttercups. Shit gets heavy from here.

*

I’ve always had a pretty contentious relationship with my body. When you drive a wheelchair, essentially as big as a Warhammer forty k mech, into the first day of suburban kindergarten, you realize pretty quickly, you’ll always be set apart. Not only in all, Their minds, but also always in, your own mind, as well. This isolation has lasted my whole life, & increasingly in my adulthood. Please understand, I don’t blame anyone. It’s just been a fact of my life. Family has been a boon, but family can’t, & shouldn’t be, my entire social circle.

The thing is, this isolation isn’t merely social. It’s mobility wise. If something is off my local light rail line, I simply can’t get to it, without extensive help. It’s logistics-wise. If people want to hang out at night, which let’s be honest, that’s when most people are available, I can’t participate due to having people who take care of me working at specific schedules & times, which means I have to get in bed way before any fun parties, even think, about ramping up. Not that I’m much of a partier, but perhaps there’s a reason for that. & now I’m too old for any of that shit, anyway!

This segregation. yes, segregation! Has also affected my career prospects, which I won’t get into here, as I no longer dream of labor. Just know that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to make any sort of consistent money in this life, even after graduating college, & jumping through all the world’s nonsensical hoops, & playing along with their games, which have all been rigged from the start. In the end, though, I’ve always wanted to earn my way through my creative endeavors alone, so that’s why I’ve been working so hard on my podcasts lately. I don’t know how much I can earn from them, but I’m giving it my best go.

More painfully, the world’s reaction to my disability has deeply affected my romantic prospects, too. Not just because a lot of people refuse to even see me as a sexual being, or are repulsed by my disabled monstrousness, or whatever, but because, even if I did happen to meet a girl who reciprocated any kind of romantic slash sexual feelings, if we did get married, the bastard government would slash my healthcare entirely, immediately rendering me completely financially dependent in that relationship. I’m not saying monogamous marriage is the only valid endpoint to any successful romantic relationship, but these cobwebbed bureaucracies, running all our lives like great evil capitalist elder squids, have severely limited my choices in life. I’m not even legally allowed to save up more than two thousand dollars in my own bank account, before they start slashing my funds. I have, increasingly, felt as if my life is not my own.

So if I ever do get married, it will be an elopement & the government will be none the wiser. I have no use for illegitimate certificates from the, equally, illegitimate Powers That Be, anyway. The holy union will be between myself, the woman in question, & the gods, alone. Though these days I’m beginning to realize, a polyamorous situation, like a polycule, or a commune, or something, would be healthier & a stronger support network for someone in my situation. We were always meant to live communally. It’s what our noble ancestors once did. Hashtag every day we stray further…

Anyway…

I am getting slightly off topic. What I’m trying to illustrate with these examples is how the world, & my experience within it, have severely affected how I see my body, & how I see myself as a person with any value to give, in, that body. It’s hard not to start feeling a little bit like Quasimodo, thrust high up in the bell tower, shunned from all the realms of mortal men, after a while.

My whole life, I’ve tried to make the best of it. I survived by carving a distinction, in my head, between my mind & my body. I saw myself. & then I saw my body. They were always these two bifurcated things. Weirdly, I always saw my mind as sort of like those hilarious detached floating Presidential heads from Futurama. I found my worth, not in my two headed boy, circus freak in a jar body, but in my mind. I was a brain, & nothing more. I was my words. My wit. My passions. My epic, ineffable, nerdery. I could rely on that. I could never rely on my Judas body. I hated it. I still do.

I’ve never told anyone this, but back when my babby sister was born, when I was fifteen, I remember so vividly the first time I saw her precious face. I remember the moment like it was yesterday, because, well, obviously, because it was the first time I met this person who I knew, even back then, was immediately one of the most important people in my life, but also because, I remember the first thought I had when I gazed upon, the infinite galaxies of her kaleidoscope eyes. “How could anyone so beautiful, be related to me?”

I hated myself for thinking this, because it was otherwise this transcendental, celebratory, jubilant moment, & I had to go & make it all about me, at least in my head. So I never told anyone about it. I just let my self-hatred fester. I pushed it down. I endured. As men are expected to do. Stiff upper lip, always look on the bright side of life, etcetera etcetera.

I built this happy, plucky, go get ‘em! persona, who doesn’t want, nor need, the finer things in life. The finer things, like happiness, non-digital community, & self-actualization. I don’t remember the last time I was happy. Maybe it was back in college, but even then, I struggled mightily. I’ve suffocated myself so long, I’ve forgotten how to breathe. But sometimes, even drowning folk get sick of being wet!

I don’t tell you all this so you can pity me, or feel guilty about not seeing this, because first of all, I’m a phenomenal actor, & a seasoned liar, so how could you possibly know what lay beneath? Pity & guilt are pretty useless, in my experience, in any case. I tell you all this, so you can truly understand where I’m coming from.

Life is too short to keep concealing the things I really want. The things I really need. The things I really am.

For the last several years, with increasing intensity, urgency, excitement, curiosity, &, ultimately, hope, I’ve begun to realize some things about myself. Well, one thing about myself, really.

Holy shit, time to be brave, for once.

[Lucy inhales FX]

Sometimes. OK. a lot of the time. I wish I was a girl. A woman.

The yearnings began to coalesce six years ago, when I was. Uh. You know. fantasizing, as one does, & suddenly I was imagining myself as a girl. It scared the ever, loving, shit, out of me. I immediately stopped.

It scared me so much, because…

I liked it.

The thought excited me. In this fantasy, I was still disabled. But I was desirable! Girl me finally felt, OK, in my body. I was happy in my body! I could celebrate my body! It felt like coming up for air. It felt like freedom. Like some sort of, & forgive my nerdy metaphors, they are all I have, Pacific Rim mech pilots style, drift compatibility. At long last, both my body & my mind hooked together seamlessly. But it was just a dream, right? A fantasy? A fetish! I’ve felt so few moments of, genuine, freedom in my life, I instinctively crawled back to my comfortable, miserable, corner.

I tried to push it out of my mind. It wasn’t real if I didn’t think about it, right?. Denial has kept fossilized empires running, simply on calcified inertia, for hundreds of years! I could do that in the comparatively short amount of time I had left on this dumb rock, right? But my denial couldn’t last. I couldn’t just put these intrusive thoughts out of my mind that simply.

I tried to tell myself I was just a creep. Some sort of pervert with a fetish. I was appropriating trans girls’ experiences, & obviously making light, of very real, incredibly terrifying, hardships they go through in this world. I’ve done a lot of research & soul searching since then, but back then I still believed the lie, in order to be trans, you absolutely had to have had gender dysphoria as a kid. & I didn’t think I had. But upon further reflection, I realize I’ve had dysphoria, my whole life. I just thought all these feelings were what being alive felt like, for everyone!

I grew up in an Evangelical Christian household, so I was incredibly sheltered as a kid. I didn’t even know trans folk could even be a thing! until I was 21, & in college & literally face to face with a friend, who got called a name of a different gender they no longer went by. I asked them, “why did that person just call you by that name?” & they graciously explained they were trans, & that they had just been ‘dead named,’ as the community calls it. In retrospect, they were being incredibly generous with me, considering the mental violence. yes, violence, which had just been wrought upon them, right before my eyes.

As you can probably imagine, that conversation blew. My. Freaking. Mind. It was like some scifi crap – like the trill symbionts from Star Trek Deep Space Nine, etcetera, who always made my mind go brrr, but in a very good way, back when I couldn’t quite verbalize, or even admit to myself in my own mind, why even the thought of them made me feel. A certain something I didn’t even have words for, at the time.

But talking to this trans person was in the actual, flesh & blood, realm! I knew about Drag Queens, & cross dressers, thanks to that dusty library copy of, Rocky Horror Picture Show, my brother & I hid from our parents, which I only vaguely understood anyway, but changing your actual, GENDER? In real life? Wizard shit!

At the time of this college era conversation, I was still drowning in Evangelicalism, Patriarchy, chauvinism. all of the things, but despite all this, I remember this moment so vividly too. Because my friend, who had just been violently dead named, was leaning across the table from me, being honest with me, open with me, almost begging me to accept them, & I realized right there, right then. This was a human fucking being. & even though my mind had just been BLOWN, & I was still HIGHLY CONFUSED, & terrifyingly curious, I could be a cowardly dickhead, or I could follow the path of love. True love, not White Jesus Love, (TM). & that night? That night, I chose love. & I’m so freaking glad I did.

Looking back on it, this moment turned out to be one of the first bricks I tore down in the Tower of Babel, that had been my Evangelical Faith. I was still a sexist, phobic, (of everything!), clown at the time. I still had a lot of deep character building & reworking to do, far down within my soul. I still do. I always will. Self-improvement is a life-long, internal battle. but this became one of the first steps.

Which have led me all the way to here. Staring down into the chasm of femininity. I am scared, but determined. I am leaning across the table from you, but I will not beg for your acceptance. I’ll have it or I won’t. & we’ll just have to live with that, won’t we?

I still posture, at least somewhat, masculine. I still often get my head shaved, down to the skull, like I’m going off to war. Because, living in my body has often felt like a war, to be quite honest. So I try to be masculine. No frills. Surgical. Spartan. Because I’ve been terrified if I grow my hair any longer, people will, know. My judging parents will, know. The true believers in this red as a rash state will, know. & what if they all, knew, the truth?

Would they hate me?

Would they hate me if they knew, I yearn to grow my hair out long, & dye it blonde, or pink, or blonde & pink, like a total badass? Would they turn their heads in shame if I wore cute makeup & sweaters, & not wear the same scruffy football hoodie & T-shirt combo I’ve been wearing, every day, since I was fifteen?

Truth be told, I hate wearing men’s clothing. I’ve always hated it. Especially male dress up clothes. The jacket & tie? The monkey suit you wear, for getting choked by the noose of always looking like every other mediocre asshole dying, a little more each day, in some dark dungeon of a cubicle?

I don't want to be mediocre anymore. I want to be. fucking. spectacular.

Look. I know how hard it is in this society for disabled people to be seen as sexy. As desirable. Clothes never fit right because they are often not made for us. They’re always cockeyed, or ruffled, or simply utilitarian. But damn it! I want to be sexy! I want to be desirable! I want to be lovely! Not just for other pretty girls, (though for them too, obviously!), but for me. For my confidence. For my self-worth. For my fulfillment, & happiness.

I no longer seek the dullness of masculine sexiness, either. Muscles, in my honest opinion, are wasted on dudes. I don’t want to wear anything with lots of buttons, either. I never have. My hands aren’t great at working them, anyway. For the last few years, I’ve made a whole index of feminine clothes I like the look of on Tumblr. I want to wear girly jeans, skirts, dresses, & on, & on. I want to experiment with jewelry & makeup & nail polish.

I don't want to live in a box anymore. I want to live in a curve. I want to, be, the curve. I want to be the fire, & the twinkling lights &, the hair on the wind, & the giggle on the grass. I don't want my stupid testosterone holding back my tears. I want to weep, & laugh, & LIVE! I know it sounds like I want to become a manic pixie dream girl, or something. But. Like. Why the hell not? Girls can be whoever the hell they want to be!

I’m tired of sublimating everything. I’m tired of holding back what I mean. Holding back who I really am. I’m done with the mask. Give me the cape, & the show. Give me the whole damn theater, & I’ll light up the world.

Though, look, just because I want to be more femme, does not mean I want to immediately, if ever, wear pink layer cake dresses like I just stepped off the carriage from Versailles, or somewhere. A lot of this is going to be an adjustment period. For everyone. I still love a lot of traditionally masculine things. For example, I’ll always love my Packers. (That’s the Green Bay Packers, who play American football, by the way, for those who thought I may have been referring to the, other, kind of packers, trans masculine folk sometimes use.) Again, I want to reiterate. I’m still going to be me. Just new & improved.

Over the last few years, I’ve also come to realize I’m not, entirely, alienated from my body. In fact, there’s parts of my body I’ve always had affection for. I’ve spent the last twenty nine years, (since I was three), sat in a wheelchair every day, eight to twelve hours a day. As a result of this, my growth has been stunted. So, I'm five feet nothing basically. To be honest, I've always liked being short.

Also due to my disability, (but probably also as a result of my genetics), I have small, delicate hands & feet. I've always loved them, too. I've often been complimented on my feminine eyelashes, & my thick hair, (usually by jealous girls), & my hair grows faster than a chia pet! I’ve liked those aspects of my physical body.

I understand to be femme, & or feminine, you don't need to have any of these attributes. That would make a boring ass world, no doubt. These are just, 'traditionally,' feminine attributes. & the parts of myself I've always liked, are, in fact, girly. Again, in the, 'traditional,' sense of the word. I am, of course, qualifying all this, however, due to thirty two years of drowning in patriarchy, & beauty standards, & racism, & fatphobia, & just a whole bunch of nonsense. That's all bull, obviously. Femme is whatever we make of it.

Along with preferring these, more, traditionally, feminine, aspects of my physical body, I have also always preferred the company of women in general. I always felt more comfortable with them. Not just because of my attraction to them, but because I’ve never found their presence anywhere near as exhausting, or demanding, as the presence of men, at least in large groups. Perhaps this is a biased assessment, & the only reason I feel this way is because women, & girls, have always clocked me as male, & therefore never involved me in the infamous vicious backbiting, of their group politics.

Even so, women, on the whole, have always seemed, softer, to me, in every way. With men, especially in groups, there’s always this endless jostling, this never ending posturing! There can never be two male lions in the pride, two tigers in the cage. You must always, always! PROVE YOURSELF! & FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT to assert dominance. What a weary way of life. Meanwhile, I always just wanted to talk, & laugh, & hug, & be affectionate, & be myself. I suppose I was yearning for something I could neither have, nor ever, be, as a man.

The way in which I have always related to women, I realize now, has often been in a quite feminine way. I’ve always like girls. I’ve always, loved, girls. I had my first crush when I was five. At least on a non-fictional girl, anyway. (More on my first fictional crush, which occured even earlier, if you can believe it, a bit further along in this mini manifesto.)

I was fascinated with girls. Obsessed, with them. Enthralled, by them! Not just because I found them pretty, or beautiful, or captivating, though there was always these aspects to it all, humming hungrily in the background, but I hungered for other things I saw in them, too. Subtler things. The way girls moved through the world. What soft, heavenly, potent, magic! I wished I had even one ounce of their fairy dust. It was, & is still, intoxicating.

I didn’t always dream of making love to them, though there was quite a bit of that, admittedly. I yearned for them in less carnal ways, as well. For their companionship. Love. Trust. Affection. I was always entranced by the ways in which they navigated the world. With a dignity & strength men could never hope to match. (They don’t have, THE RANGE!) & then when women put on ARMOR? Holy shit, HEART EYES! It was like, they were almost, underdogs, in the patriarchy.

As a disabled kid, I knew what it was to be an underdog. I saw me in them, & them in me. I'm not saying being disabled & a woman are equivalent in this society, they are most certainly not, obviously. But I could, sympathize, with being seen as less capable than I actually was. Still can. Every day of my life.

Also, from my teenager hood all the way up through my long & lonely years, I had this very irritating habit of falling in love with sapphics. Which is, to be honest, kind of devastating, when you are under the impression you are a dude. But once you realize you certainly are, not, a dude, things begin to really click into place for this aspect of your sexuality. I kept crushing on lesbians & the like, because I, am, one!

Duh!

Speaking of sexuality, & please bear with me if this makes you uncomfortable, I’ve been realizing I have always, actually, related to my sexuality, & therefore my body, in a feminine manner. I’ve never really been interested in pornography, or other titillation, which panders to the assumed male gaze. This genre of cinema’s incessant focus on men’s pleasure bores the hell out of me, to be quite frank. But show me genuine female pleasure, or erotica focused on feminine sexuality, especially if the arousal is conjured by another woman, & I am, all about, that good time. Not in the leering sort of way, either, like, “oooo look, two girls making out, that’s, soooo, hot!” I never imagined myself watching them. I always imagine myself, being, them.

Lately, I’ve even come to accept that I long to relate, & indeed do, now, relate to sex, as a woman. The thought of having sex as a man, with male parts, doesn’t hold as much interest, excitement, or fulfillment, for me, as the thought of making love as a woman, with female parts. It’s the difference between machine-like mechanics, & almost, animalistic, apotheosis. I don’t know how I’ll ever get there. But I will.

OK, the really sexy times confession session is over. Apologies if I over shared there, but I felt it was necessary. If not for you, then certainly for me, in my quest to become more honest with myself.

I’m a writer, & a lover of stories, so I find a lot of solace, strength, & truth in fiction. The deep lore, the myths, the characters. They all matter. So much. Long past the moment the poets who wrote them, turned, to dust. So that’s why I’ve chosen a name for myself, straight out of fiction.

A brave girl who believed.

Queen Lucy the Valiant.

The character who has always been closest to my heart, & who always will be.

Now. Look. I know she comes out of C S Lewis, & The Chronicles of Narnia, & therefore there is, A LOT, of baggage wrapped up in all that. The particular flavor of Christianity, forever entangled with the narrative & thematics. My boy Clive’s, GAPING, blind spots, specifically when it came to the portrayal of a faux Islamic world, or girls & women, particularly at the time he wrote those books. But. Look. I have a lot of baggage too. These are still my roots.

Narnia were the first books I read when I was three. Or listened to the abridged audio versions, anyway. The first fictional character I ever fell hard for? Lucy Pevensie. I told you. I’ve always, loved, girls. The first fictional character I aspired to be like? Lucy. Not because she was a warrior. But because she was still the bravest, despite being the littlest. Perhaps, because, she was the littlest.

[Episode Background Music 1 (MacLeod’s “Fluidscape”) FADES OUT.]

[Lead Out Music (Instrumental) FADES IN.]

She was always the best of them. Lucy believed when the others could not. Would not. She was the first to go to Narnia. She had seen the next world, & it was nothing short, of spectacular. Lucy believed in its wonders. In its endless promises. Lucy had hope. Sure, it was all meant as some sort of stilted Christian allegory. But I’m taking what I want, & leaving the rest. Because, I believe her story speaks to something universal. Lucy believed in, a BETTER, world. A BETTER, tomorrow. The name ‘Lucy,’ originally meant, ‘as of light,’ or, ‘born at daylight, or the dawn.’ She is the light bringer. & that’s who I aspire to be. The girl full of hope. Belief. Faith. Maybe not in any single church, or doctrine, but in love. In that, BETTER, tomorrow.

So here’s me. Rolling out from the darkness of my old wardrobe.

Lucy.

I’ve been terrified to talk about all this for the past several years, as I already feel like a burden, with all my disability stuff, & then I lost my job, & then the pandemic happened, & then, & then.

But I can’t live as I was living. Not anymore. I hope you can understand that.

I still don’t know how any of this will work. How my future will look. How I’ll figure out how to scrape the money together, on my own, I won’t be asking for any money for any of this, to transition in a safe manner, with all my other medical crap. I don’t know how my caregivers, throughout my life, will react. I don’t know how, anyone, will react. All I can control, right now, is myself, & how I need to be, myself.

My babby sister came out as bi this year, at least to the immediate family, & her self-assurance, & joy, have given me hope. I want to learn how to be brave like that again. Like my sister, before me.

Like Lucy.

~

[Episode Lead Out Music FADES IN: - playing soft & low in background as lead out rolls on. Lead Out Music - first the instrumental & then the vocal versions of Josh Woodward’s “Words Fall Apart” - which is a piano piece - almost a lullaby - featuring the following words:

“We're here at the start, where the words fall apart

Where language is lost in the wind

The syllables sway, in an ancient ballet

The meaningless sounds that we sing

Sleep, baby, sleep, baby

Sleep till the feeling is gone

Sleep, baby, sleep, baby

Everything's new in the dawn

The faces and sounds, where the truth goes to drown

In the deepest expanse of the sea

Our dreams and our hopes are concealed in codes

And no one would dare hold the key

Sleep, baby, sleep, baby

Sleep till the feeling is gone

Sleep, baby, sleep, baby

Everything's new in the dawn

Everything's new in the dawn”]

Lucy VO: Radio Free Lucy, is written by, Lucy Argyle, & performed by Lucy, a Radio Argyle Bot Player. Join Radio Argyle’s Patreon at patreon dot com slash Radio Argyle. All one word.

Music in this episode included “Arrival” by How the Night Came. Find their music at the Free Music Archive.“Fluidscape,” by Kevin MacLeod. You can find their music at Incompetech dot com. &, both the instrumental & lyrical versions of Josh Woodward’s “Words Fall Apart”. You can find their music at the Free Music Archive, Spotify, iTunes, Google Play, etcetera.

Other episode credits, as well as free transcripts for the show, are available on my Tumblr, where my user name is Radio Free Lucy. Also all one word. Simply search the hashtag Radio Free Lucy on my blog there & you’ll find them.

I’ll be back. Soon! Until then, I send you all, my love & strength. Take care, you lovely lunatics, & worthwhile weirdos.

[Lead Out Music eventually FADES OUT.]

[RADIO ARGYLE OUTRO STING - This 7 second sting involves the intro sting, mostly in reverse: the scifi engine powering down, the high-pitched British girl saying “Radio Argyle” - and then the needle fumbling off the vinyl - into radio silence…]

EPISODE CREDITS:

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Music (All Edited):

“Arrival” by How the Night Came. Find their music at the Free Music Archive.

“Fluidscape” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100393

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

“Words Fall Apart” (Lyrical & Instrumental Versions) by Josh Woodward: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Josh_Woodward/Addressed_to_the_Stars_1995

Sound FX (All Edited):

“45rpm needle drop” by FreqMan: https://freesound.org/people/FreqMan/sounds/42819/. Courtesy of Freesound.

“Girl, female, inhale, exhale, sigh, breathing” by SpliceSound: https://freesound.org/people/SpliceSound/sounds/218309/. Courtesy of Freesound.

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