#(maybe a statement because i’m curious AND nosey) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bratkook · 4 years ago

Text

almost. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost, right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, baby angst, smut word count. 6.4k warnings. two idiots!!, pining, masturbation (m. and f.), use of vibrator, accidental voyeurism?, more feelings come to light!! summary. jungkook tries to be the best wingman he could be in your new venture after your breakup. he could do it, right? note. part two of not yet, some more feelings are exposed, please don’t hate oc she is but a pendeja that doesn’t see the obvious feelings jungkook has but she has good intentions i promise<3 there will most likely be a final part,,if you guys are into it lmao okie bye

The cool summer breeze flows around you as you’re sitting under the shade, eyes focused on the chaos of runny yolk and hashbrowns that is your breakfast. Jungkook on the other hand, is focused on you. His signature yellow shades block out the sun reflecting from passing cars, concealing his eyes just enough for you to not see him blatantly staring at you while you stuff your face.

The charmed smile he has falters slightly when you look directly at him, hashbrown lingering by your lip as you repeat his name. “Sorry, what?”

Your brows come together as you smile at his zoned out state, something you had grown fond of in the years of knowing him, always enjoying the small dazed look that graced his face whenever he was lost in his thoughts. His lips push out slightly in question, curious eyes wondering just what you could have been asking him.

“I was saying that I think I’m giving up on crushes and love.” You say it so easily, mind made up as you grin at him before continuing to shovel hashbrowns into your mouth, only pausing to take a sip of your iced coffee.

Jungkook tries his best to seem unaffected, nodding along in interest as he takes a steady bite of his own food. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a look around at the people surrounding you: friends having breakfast together and snapping photos, couples feeding each other food with smiles on their faces, a lone man with his dog perched on the seat across from his while he worked on his computer. You briefly wonder if all of them, even the dog, have better luck with love than you do.

“I think I’m cursed,” you continue. “All of my exes have been assholes, and I’ve always been too blind to see it until it’s over and I’m left crying over Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.”

“Maybe you’re just looking for love in the wrong places,” Jungkook shrugs, internally screaming because he’s who you should be looking at if you wanted love.

Not to toot his own horn, but Jungkook liked to think he was a good guy, a great boyfriend even. His previous track record of relationships could attest to that, all of them ending on mutual terms, still friendly and civil with each other. He’s almost certain if there was a Yelp page for him it would be at least 4.5 stars with comments raving about how great he is, even little anecdotal touches about how he always gave away his hoodies or offered to cook breakfast.

He was a god damn catch, why couldn’t you see that?

“Maybe prince charming is a lot closer than you think,” he grumbles out, stabbing his omelette with a little more force than necessary, fork clanking against the plate. And when you gasp in realization he freezes, slowly looking back up at you and seeing the way your eyes widen.

“Wait, maybe you’re right!” Your hand shoots across the table, gripping onto his forearm and it sends a shock throughout him, skin tingling at your touch. “You know that coffee shop below our building? That cute barista always puts a heart next to my name. Do you think I should ask for his number?”

Jungkook blinks once, slowly twirls his fork in his hand and blinks again before staring up at the sky, mentally asking why he couldn’t just go out and say it. “Hm, I don’t think you should.“

With a defeated sigh you retract your hand, slumping back into your seat and grabbing your iced coffee once more, stirring the straw and ice around as you nod. “True. What if he feels obligated to give it to me just because he doesn’t want to get fired in case I go all Karen on his ass.”

That wasn’t why Jungkook had said not to, but sure, that works too, so he hums along.

“I bet he draws hearts on all the other girls cups too.” You huff, playfully wiping a tear under your eye with a smile.

“I’ve actually—“

“You know what I—“

You both freeze mid sentence, Jungkook’s cheeks tinted a light pink as he stutters on his words, wide eyes staring at you as if he had caught himself before you cut him off. But as you’re about to tell him to go on, he waves you off and urges you to speak first.

“I was just gonna say that maybe I should go through that wild phase people usually go through after breakups.”

He sets his silverware down on the plate and sips his water, giving you an odd look. “Wild phase? Like you wanna dye your hair red and get bangs?”

“No,” you cackle, ruffling a hand through your own hair as you picture yourself with that combination. “I should just go out and hook up with people. I feel like I’ve either been in a relationship or entirely single, so it could be fun right?”

“Uh, maybe...” he trails off, rolling his lips together in thought, not exactly fond of hearing you say that when he had felt the confession about to roll off his tongue. He takes a slow breath, trying to see this from a neutral point, the point of a supportive friend wanting to help you get over a breakup.

“How do you go about it?”

“Me?” he chokes, pointing at his chest as if there was magically some other person you could be addressing.

“Yes, you. Need I remind you, we share a wall between our beds.” You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face shows that you’re speaking of this lightly, not entirely annoyed by the fact that you had heard Jungkook during his own fair share of hook ups.

He’s not ashamed of it, but considering he never really brought up being able to hear you, he thought you’d pretend to never hear him. It wasn’t too often that he had a girl over, the number of hookups only increasing after you got with Hajoon and loosely cut ties with Jungkook. But from what you had heard—and seen thanks to your nosey self looking through peep holes once they left—it was very rarely the same girl.

So to you, Jungkook was a pro at the art of hookups.

“Right, sorry,” he grimaces, a sheepish smile on his lips as he wonders just how many times his activities kept you up at night.

“It’s fine, consider us even.” A teasing laugh follows your statement, enjoying the flustered look on his face, how his cheeks get even darker in embarrassment. Jungkook was used to the two of you talking like this, neither of you having a filter especially when it came to sexual aspects, but he hadn’t had a conversation like this since before you got with Hajoon. It would take some getting used to again.

“So, give me the tips. Where do you find people?”

Jungkook leans back into his chair, arms stretching out on either side of him, short sleeves of his black tee bunching up and revealing more of his tattoos and the rippling of his muscles. With a small laugh he rakes his hand through his fluffy hair, giving you a small smile. “Honestly? Anywhere. I’ve gotten girl’s numbers at the gym and at coffee shops, but bars are the best bet for something quick.”

“Ugh, fuck you and your pretty privilege.”

“What?” he guffaws, smiling wide and showing you his adorable smile as he laughs loudly, not caring about the attention he draws to your table. He doesn’t even realize how the table full of girls is now trying to discreetly stare at him, because his eyes are on you. You see it though, and it further proves your point. “What the hell is pretty privilege?”

Your wild hands gesture towards him, a look of disbelief on your face as you do so. “You! Of course girls line up to hand you their number, have you seen yourself? Pretty privilege,” you jab your fork at him in time with your final words, a smirk on your glossy lips.

Jungkook feels his confidence grow at your casual compliment, tongue prodding at his cheek as he stares down at his food, trying not to smile too hard. You thought he was pretty, that was a win in his book.

“C’mon,” he teases, foot gently nudging your leg underneath the table. “You could totally score someone's number. Plus there's always apps if you just wanna test the water.”

You give your plate a contemplated stare, “Sure, how hard could it be?”

Admittedly, the answer to that question was: not hard at all. You had met all your previous boyfriends in person, through mutual friends or shared classes back in college, never once dipping your toe into the world of Tinder or Bumble. Who knew all it would take was a couple of selfies and the strategic body shot to have boys circling around you like some new-age, slightly filthier version of rapunzel.

Jungkook knew though, not at all shocked by how quickly you get a match the following day when he’s at your place. His eyes are focused on the screen in front of him, helping you beat a level in your favorite game that you had been stuck on. But the second you gasp as if you’ve won the lottery, he pauses the game entirely and gives you an odd look.

“What?”

His answer comes in the form of your phone thrusted in his direction, lit up screen displaying your profile picture and the one of the boy you had just matched with. Jung Hoseok. Jungkook’s eyes narrow as he reads the name, trying to remember it in case he somehow had a friend in common that knew all the dirt on him.

He has a similar pair of yellow shades on his own head, thicker black rims around them and a charming smile on his face. Jungkook chuckles to himself. Yellow shades? How original.

“What do I say?” you question, eyes looking nervous as you wiggle the phone in his face. The small white bar beneath your match urges you to start a conversation, and coming up with the right words to say makes you overthink it all.

“Just say hi and tack on some cute emoji. It’s not that hard,” he laughs, pushing the phone back at you. Jungkook knew you could start the message off any way you wanted and this Jung Hoseok would eat it right up. How could he not, the alluring smile in your profile photo would draw anyone in.

“Okay, I did it.” Your phone is instantly locked and chucked aside in an attempt to be forgotten, choosing to grab the remote out of Jungkook’s hands for another distraction. It only lasts a brief second before you’re killed by the boss Jungkook was trying to defeat.

“Really?” Jungkook huffs, yanking the remote back into his hands, needing a distraction himself. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were searching for a fuck buddy while he sat beside you. How crazy would it be if he suggested being your fuck buddy, offered to help you through this so called wild phase you were searching for.

No. That’s not what he wants.

Would he enjoy it? Sure. But he could already imagine how much worse his heart would hurt if his feelings came to light and yours were non-existent. That is if you’d even agree to it.

“Relax, he’s probably thinking of what to reply.”

You make a noise of disagreement, fingers itching to unlock your device to see if it was true, slowly inching towards it until you finally grab it and go back onto the app. Jungkook just chuckles as he goes back to helping you with your game, not wanting to look at you as you giggle at your device. He could already imagine what this guy was telling you for you to turn into a giddy mess not even two minutes in.

He tunes it all out, eyes focused on the screen, fingers gripping the remote with a little more force than needed. His concentration helps him though, finally passing the level you’ve been stuck on for the past two weeks.

“You’re welcome,” he sighs, making a show of stretching out and sending you a smile, having it falter slightly when he sees your eyes still focused on the screen of your phone. With a frown he looks back at the television, saving the game before turning it off altogether.

Once he gets up from the couch, making his way over to the media console to store the remotes, is when you look up at him. “You’re right, this is easy!”

Jungkook doesn’t feel the usual pride that comes with being right, but the cheerful look on your face prevents him from feeling salty. Coming back towards the couch, he sits beside you once more, facing you as he rests his elbow on the back cushion to lean on. “Told you so.”

He keeps that same smile on his face as you mention how quick Hoseok was to ask you out on a date, even as you bring up the fact that this date would be at his place, and Jungkook could decipher netflix and chill any way some greasy boy tried to conceal it.

“I hope he knows I don’t want anything serious,” you mumble, chewing on your fingernail as you scroll through the messages.

Jungkook could almost laugh at how blissfully unaware you were of the piranha infested water that was the great sea of Tinder. Of course this yellow sunglass wearing wannabe version of him knows you don’t want anything serious, why else would he be so quick to invite you over with the cheeky excuse to watch movies.

All he can do is shrug as he stares at you, lips pressed together in an effort to not say something that would totally ruin everything. Instead, Jungkook does everything he can to be the best version of a wingman you could get. He tells you the ins and outs of hookups, how you should definitely not text him the minute you leave his place and tell him you had fun, don’t talk about anything super personal involving family or your work, and if he doesn’t offer to go down on you but expects a blowjob he’s a loser.

It’s solid advice that you mentally jot down, subjecting him to further questions your mind comes up with and even asking him for help on an outfit via text the night of your hangout with Jung Hoseok.

Jungkook stares at the photos for a little too long if he’s being honest. They weren’t spectacular selfies that you had taken much effort for, their sole purpose being showing off the outfit, but the way you look so focused as you snapped the shot had him zooming into your face and smiling like an idiot. When you double text him with a long line of question marks he snaps out of it, deciding on the second option you picked of mom jeans and a cropped shirt. Cute and casual, and definitely something Jungkook preferred, but he’d never tell you that.

When you finally text him a thumbs up and tell him you’re on your way out he just hearts the message before locking his device and trudging to the living room. It’s not often that he wallows in self pity, spacing those days out so far he barely remembers them. But they usually went exactly like this, ordering a large meat lovers pizza with extra cheese, drinking far too many Mike’s hard lemonade—because despite how much they made his stomach hurt they were tasty so he didn’t care—and binge watching his comfort show: Modern Family.

But even as he sulks on his couch, practically sinking into the cushions with horrible posture and a slice of pizza resting on his chest, he can’t find it in himself to chuckle at Cam and Mitch’s usual banter. He’s too busy thinking about which movie you’re currently watching, if you were watching it. Who’s Jungkook kidding though, you were totally getting your guts rearranged right now.

Taking an aggressive bite out of the crust he frowns and raises the volume up on his television, attempting to drown the mocking voice in his head calling him a loser for not admitting to his feelings. He knew this, knew he should have said something when he wanted to at breakfast, but Jungkook was afraid that if he confessed as you were talking about hooking up, that you’d see him as taking advantage of a situation instead of being genuine. I mean who wouldn’t? You say you want something casual and suddenly he’s spilling his heart out and you’re supposed to believe he’s not some pig trying to butter you up. He didn’t want to get labeled as a creepy neighbor after the good times you’ve had.

“So stupid,” he grumbles to himself as he takes another swig, the last drops of the alcohol hitting his tongue with a tangy aftertaste. As he sits up to place the empty bottle onto his coffee table his muscles ache, neck stiff from the unfortunate position it had been subjected to for the last three hours. With a small huff he’s rolling his shoulders, reaching for his discarded phone to see the time—and also check if you’d sent him some SOS text—but he finds nothing besides the bright numbers indicating that it was nearing midnight.

In true pity party day fashion, he doesn’t even bother cleaning up after his mess, just tossing the dirty dishes into the sink to be washed tomorrow when he would force himself to be in a better mood. Instead, he grabs a water and his phone and waddles into his bedroom.

The moonlight illuminates the space enough for him to keep the light switch off, undressing from his crumb covered sweats and shirt, choosing to remain in his boxers as he slipped under the cold duvet. The sheets feel fresh against his hot cheeks, flush from the alcohol, cooling him down and making his body relax.

Jungkook knows he should sleep, needing to be up early tomorrow for work, but he can’t stop his mind from wandering into dangerous territory. His buzzed brain has no qualms imagining exactly what you were doing right now, wondering if you’d be the type to act shy at a guy’s house for the first time, if you’d initiate the first move or not. Jungkook had only seen it up close once under the flash of strobe lights and the haze of alcohol, but he can still picture the soft smile on your face before you go in for a kiss, and he grumbles under his breath when he realizes that he wouldn’t be the one kissing you tonight.

What he doesn’t know, is that you wouldn’t be the one getting kissed tonight either. The Jung Hoseok you had perceived through Tinder, assuming he was all casual and DTF with his netflix and chill suggestion, had been anything but. What you thought would be a steamy night, ended up becoming a nice dinner and comedy watched, morphing into some version of game night where you discovered he was a little too competitive than you were used to. The only action you got was a kiss to your cheek as he walked you to your car and a promise for another date. A promise you would not be keeping.

So as Jungkook lays in bed while his thoughts turn into some fantasy of you moaning out his name, you shuffle into your bedroom and slip into your pajamas with a defeated sigh. You had already texted your best friend telling her what a bust tonight had been, deciding to just tell Jungkook all about it tomorrow because you knew he was most likely fast asleep now. And as you settle under your own covers, inches away from Jungkook with only a wall seperating you, you decide to just call it a night and pretend it never happened.

Just as you shut your eyes, nuzzling into your pillow, you hear the first moan come from behind the wall. A small cry of despair escapes you as you bury your face into your sheets, tugging them up and over your head to block the sound of Jungkook getting some action the same night you had been left high and dry. Of course he would, assuming you’d be getting the same treatment at your date's place, why wouldn’t he take advantage of your absence and not have to muffle his partner’s moans the way he usually did.

You’re just going to ignore it, until you hear a moan that sounds strangely like your own name. Maybe it's wishful thinking on your part, your horny brain deciding to pretend that Jungkook was calling for you instead of whoever he was with. It might be a little wrong for you to have that fantasy of your neighbor, but you aren’t blind. He’s hot, and adorably sweet, the perfect package for any girl he tried to swoon. And judging by the cries you’ve heard of lucky girls prior, you know he was good in bed.

You’re just desperate now. That’s the excuse you tell yourself as you slowly settle onto your back, feeling your body warm up when you focus on his muffled groans, desperate and needy. As your hand slowly slides down your shirt, you shut your eyes, biting down onto your lip to muffle any sound you could make when your fingers slip underneath your pants and past your underwear.

Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t care about his volume. His boxers are tugged down his thighs, knees bent as he slowly ruts into his sticky palm. His hand is tacky with the lube he had messily squirted on, thick cock glistening in the light coming in from his window. He can’t look away from it, mouth dropped open as he groans, imagining it was your hand tightly wrapped around him, your spit covering his cock instead of that strawberry flavored lube.

“Ah fuck,” he moans, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back onto his soft pillows when his thumb rubs along his slit. It continues to leak beads of precum, quickly wiped away to join the mess on his cock when his hand slides back down and squeezes along his base.

You hear that loud and clear, and when the female voice you’re expecting never follows, you realize he must be taking care of himself. It makes you feel a little less guilty now as your fingers trail along your slit, collecting the slick coating your folds before you softly circle your clit. A choked gasp fills the air at the small sensation, your body already wired after having expected to get some action tonight; it totally had nothing to do with your hot neighbor jacking off inches away from you.

With your eyes fluttering shut, you strain your ears to make out any other noise, muffling your own groans with a hand pressed against your mouth. The bed creaks lightly underneath you as you roll your hips into your hand, getting into a smooth rhythm that makes your body buzz.

Slowly, your imagination runs wild, and you wonder just what Jungkook was thinking of as he did this. Was he watching some porn as he did it, using his own filthy thoughts to push himself to ecstacy, or was this just something he needed to do to be able to sleep?

“Shit, so good,” he groans out, voice raspy, but you can sense his desperation through the drywall. It’s what has you sinking a single digit into your drenched entrance, biting down onto your lower lip when you feel the glide of your walls as you start to thrust into yourself, easing in another and mewling at the slight stretch.

Jungkook would absolutely give his left leg to know what your pussy felt like, he didn’t even care how disgusting he sounded by admitting that to himself, it was true. Blame it on the hard lemonade that made his stomach ache and his mind unfiltered, but he could almost visualize how you’d look above him, could practically feel the warmth of your core wrapped around him, dripping down his length as he fucked into you.

He knows you’re loud in bed, never being one to conceal your cries of pleasure and he would die happy to hear his name come out of your mouth as you creamed his cock. But for now, his hand would have to do.

His lids feel too heavy, jaw slack as the pleasure flows through his body. The wet squelch of his palm fills the room, mingling with his pants and groans, air growing thick around him. It’s been a while since Jungkook had jacked off, and even longer since he’d been able to do it shamelessly in bed without the fear of you hearing him, but now that he thought you were gone he can’t find it in himself to cover his mouth or groan into his pillows like he usually did.

The pent up frustration fogs up his mind, cranks the lust up to 11 until his free hand is gripping his sheets beside him, bed frame creaking as his thrusts speed up. The thuds of his headboard hitting the wall come from behind you, a choked moan blending in with it, and it has you scrambling for your bedside drawer.

The pajamas you wear get yanked off your legs and tossed aside after you grab your trusty vibrator, settling onto your back once more with huff. All it takes is a press of a button for the device to come to life, buzzing in your hand as you trail it up your thighs. A gasp escapes you when you pass it over your mound, brushing against your clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

“Oh my god,” you whimper when you finally press the vibrating head directly onto your sensitive clit, legs spreading further apart as you increase the intensity. You could clearly hear the raise in Jungkook’s moans, and that's when the first irrational thought pops into your mind.

How easy would it be for you to head over to his place and deal with both of your problems. Surely Jungkook wouldn’t have an issue with you offering to suck his dick, wouldn’t mind letting you sink down onto him if it was just a friendly favor.

The little devil on your shoulder tells you it would be mutually beneficial, urging you to get up and walk to Jungkook’s with the vibrator still in your hand, but you can’t. This alone felt like enough of a dirty secret, a secret you’d have absolutely no problem keeping because although you feel slightly ashamed, you couldn’t deny how turned on you are.

The flashes of all the times you’ve heard Jungkook with other people play in your mind, the screams of his name that he tried to muffle, pleas for him to go faster, the resounding smack of his palm on flesh that always left you wide eyed when you heard it. And you start to wonder if maybe you’d be into that, the feeling of his large tattooed hand connecting with your ass, gently tapping against your cheek for you to open up for his cock.

That fantasy is like the first ember needed to start the fire inside of you, spreading uncontrollably until you’re bucking into your vibrator, teeth biting down on your lip to keep any potential moans of his name from slipping out.

“Fuck, fuck,” he chants, the same fire burning within him. Maybe your minds are linked telepathically, his thoughts gravitating to the same filthy fantasy you had. Jungkook was very much an ass man, knowing very well how good your butt looked in jeans from how often he stared at it, he could only imagine how good it would look as he fucked you from behind. Picturing the way it would bounce back from the force of his thrusts, eyes glued to the way you’d soak his cock, mimicking the tightness of your walls with a firm grip of his palm.

Jungkook can sense his orgasm approaching, leaves his chest feeling tight as he pants, legs gliding along his sheets for leverage to continue fucking into his hand. You’re not far off either, vibrator set to the highest setting you can practically feel your bones rattling, free hand slipped under your shirt as you pinch at your pebbled nipples. You’re both on the brink of falling over the edge, the same question playing in your mind: where would you want Jungkook to cum?

As his moans get breathier, whiny in a way you’d never imagine them to be, you mentally decide that you’d want him to cum inside of you, wanting to see the way his cute face would twist up in pleasure as he filled you up. Jungkook hopes you would, throwing all responsible thinking aside for that sweet moment of ecstasy and the mental picture is enough to finally push him over.

“Ah shit, baby,” he cries out in his room—thankfully having half the mind to not cry out your name as he came—eyes rolling back as his cock twitches in his palm, ribbons of cum splashing onto his stomach and chest. The warmth hits his skin, more droplets continuing to leak out as his palm milks his orgasm, stomach hiccuping and back arching from the stimulation.

The choked moan is what has your own orgasm washing over you, your palm slapping over your mouth so hard you know you’ll feel the ache later but you don’t care. A muffled gasp blends with the buzzing of your toy, thighs tensing up as your body tingles and writhes around on your sheets.

The only thing you can think of is Jungkook, the charming smile he’d give you when he listened to you rant about anything, his annoying habit of rolling up his sleeves to show off his muscles, the cute scowl on his face whenever you managed to beat him at Mario Kart, and the soft feeling of his alcohol coated lips on yours. It leaves you feeling warm as your orgasm flows through you, lying limp on the bed as you mewl at the sensitivity.

When you realize your thoughts have strayed from ‘pure sexy Jungkook fantasyland’, and switched over to ‘Jeon Jungkook your adorable neighbor’, your eyes go wide, finger immediately going to turn off the vibrator. In your haste to shut it off, you click the wrong button, changing the pulsing settings and nearly screaming when the device starts to buzz erratically against your overly sensitive clit.

With a strained gasp you yank it away from yourself, turn it off and throw it aside, horribly miscalculating the size of your bed and watching in horror as it lands on the floor with a loud thud. The complete silence from both sides makes the noise sound deafening, and all you can do is sit on your bed, half naked, and hope Jungkook is still too busy basking in his post orgasm bliss to hear the bang.

Although the blood is still pumping in his ears, he heard the thud clearly. His heart stops in his chest as he lays there, too scared to breathe in case he’d somehow make too much noise, suddenly afraid of being too loud after he had just made a show of himself. Jungkook slowly sits himself up, grimacing at the stickiness on his stomach before pressing his ear against his headboard to try to hear anything else.

All you want to do is yank the covers over yourself and go to sleep, pretend your horrendous date and your dirty thoughts about your friend never happened. The sobering mentality that comes after an orgasm settles into you, leaving you staring at the floor with a crease between your brows as you wonder what the hell came over you.

When Jungkook hears nothing else, he sighs in relief, hauling himself out of bed to grab another pair of underwear before entering his bathroom to clean up. As he stares at his own reflection in the mirror, he frowns at how pathetic he feels. The throbbing headache of his earlier drinks is already starting to kick in, body now sweaty from exertion, stomach covered in his cum.

“Such a loser,” he grumbles out, grabbing a wad of tissues to wipe away the mess on his skin before walking back out. Here he was, getting off to the thought of you, while you were out having your post-breakup wild phase.

His hands grab his phone as he reaches his nightstand, flopping back onto the bed and unlocking the device. It’s now one in the morning, and you still hadn’t text him, which either meant you were having the time of your life, or Jungkook had to track down this Jung Hoseok. The slightly protective side of him won’t allow him to sleep until he hears back from you, fingers already typing out a message and hitting send.

Jungkook 1:23am : you safe or am i gonna have to go all Liam Neeson on this guy?

When your phone vibrates on your nightstand you gasp, grabbing it before it could make any more noise. Seeing Jungkook’s name flash on the screen makes your blood run cold, already imagining what the text could be: calling you dirty for getting off on him, making fun of you, telling you to come ove—no stop that.

Finally mustering up the courage, you open it up, a small laugh spilling out as you read his message, relief flooding through you as you realize that meant he thought you were still with Hoseok.

Y/N 1:26am : oh yeah, you gonna show him your very particular set of skills? lol

Y/N 1:26am : i just got home though

Y/N 1:26am : like right now

Y/N 1:26am : still sitting in my living room

Y/N 1:27am : haha

He laughs at your string of texts, something you hear as he settles into bed. Jungkook ebbs away the small feeling of jealousy in his chest, trying to see the silver lining of this. You weren’t rushing to tell him anything about your date which meant it either went so good you wanted to keep it to yourself, or it was subpar and you wouldn’t be seeing this yellow sunglass wearing copycat again.

Jungkook 1:29am : glad you got home safe, goodnight y/n!

Sending back a goodnight text, you lock your phone and slide deeper into bed, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you stare at the ceiling. You already know the only thing you’ll be dreaming about is your cute neighbor with a bunny smile and body proportions that contradicted it. And as Jungkook lays in bed, wondering if he’ll have to push the crush aside, you’re barely coming to terms with the fact that the small glowing feeling that came with being around him might be something else.

Every single one of your interactions gets rewinded and played back like a seamless montage, remembering just how many almost moments there was between you. The way his eyes would flash down to your lips whenever you playfully argued on your couch, hands yanking the remotes from his in a game of tug of war that left you way too close in the heat of the moment. How he’d let you braid his hair anytime you found a new youtube tutorial, his starry eyes staring at you with so much adoration it made your stomach flip, brushing it off as love for a friend.

Then came the jokes from your friends, constantly teasing you about Jungkook, playfully saying they would try to sleep with him just because they liked the scowl on your face, and how quickly you tried to play it off. How the sweet old lady from the convenience store downstairs always assumed you were dating when you came in together, the low jab she sent when you walked in with Hajoon and she said she preferred you with Jungkook. That argument had been one of the ones that left him bolting out of your apartment with a nasty slam of the door, spewing nasty words at you, calling you blind for not seeing it and dumb for acting like you had no idea what he was talking about.

And for the first time, you come to the sudden realization that Hajoon was right. His deep set insecurities about Jungkook had stemmed from scraps of the truth, not just from him but from you too. The amount of times you’d find a way to slide Jungkook’s name into a conversation about anything, telling him funny stories about him, too lost in thought to see that while you were giggling as you reminisce, he was staring at you in disbelief.

The final thought that makes you want a blackhole to swallow you up, comes in the form of you, grabbing Jungkook’s face before planting a kiss on his unsuspecting lips at the club. You want to scream into your pillow as you recall it, how he had almost leaned back in to kiss you again before you had sobered him up with your dumb question rooted in revenge.

“Oh my god, I’m such a bitch.” you whimper. Subjecting Jungkook to be your wingman, jokingly telling him he should be your fake boyfriend more often, asking him for tips with hook ups. If everyone else could see it but you, he probably thought you were purposely friendzoning him.

The guilt piles on top of you as you start to piece together every moment that flew over your head, only making you bury yourself deeper into your sheets. It makes your heart twist, taking note of how Jungkook was always so quick to put a smile on his face despite how naive you were to it all, wondering if maybe it was too late to try to make something of this now. How many times could you call Jungkook ‘bro’ and treat him like you didn’t see him romantically, before he decided there was no hope for him anymore.

So as you force yourself to sleep, nerves and uncertainty weighing heavy on your mind, Jungkook snores away as he dreams of the almost moments that could have been.

#heartsforbts #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #bangtansorciere #bangtaninn #ficswithluv #btscreatorscorner #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook #bts fics #new

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hopelikethemoon · 5 years ago

Text

Professor (Javier x Reader) {MTMF} [Smut]

Title: professor Rating: Explicit Length: 4000 Warnings: Smut (praise kink, roleplay, fingering, unprotect sex, pregnant sex, on a desk) Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set late January 1997. Summary: Javier and Reader spice things up.

Taglist: @grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch@pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate@livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn@lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter@snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04@mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead

(gif stolen from @coredrive I do believe)

You glanced at your wrist, frowning when you realized that another fifteen minutes had slipped by and Javier still wasn’t there. You sighed, shifting in your seat. They were uncomfortable on a good day.

“How far along are you?” Asked the mother beside you — Chelly, you think.

“Almost four months.” You answered, instinctively resting your hand on your stomach.

“You’re Javier’s…?”

“Yes, I’m Javier’s…” You countered, leaving the same pregnant pause after his name. The women at Josie’s dance class were notoriously nosey. Chelly was newer, but she had been quickly inducted into the ‘catch the hot dad’ club.

“I rarely see the two of you apart.”

“He has work.” You answered crisply, glancing at your watch again.

“Oh, that’s right!” Chelly said far too cheerily. “He’s a Professor now, isn’t he? I’m sure he has all the co-eds swooning over him.”

“Jealous you can’t swoon over him?” You accused, glaring at Chelly.

She was entirely undeterred, “I just know I’d be at his office all the time if he were my… whatever you call him.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sorry you don’t trust your—” You glanced at her left hand. “Husband.”

Chelly huffed.

“What? You’re the one going on and on about someone else’s partner. Maybe your husband should be worried about what you’re up to.” You rarely engaged with the mothers at dance — but you were pregnant and more than a little pissed off now.

“I’m married, not dead. I’m perfectly capable of looking at a man and appreciating that he’s good looking and charming.” She smirked. “But you wouldn’t understand that, would you?”

Your lips parted to shoot back something equally as scathing, but you spotted a frazzled looking Javier walking through the front door of the dance studio. You caught his gaze and smiled when he smiled back.

“Hey, baby.” Javier drawled out as he settled into the seat beside you, arm curling around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’m sorry. Traffic was a nightmare.” He gave your shoulder three short squeezes, before sweeping his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t miss her, did I?”

You rested your hand on his knee and shook your head, “She goes on in a few.”

“It’s good to see you again, Javier.” Chelly remarked as she leaned forward to look around you. “I hear you’re teaching now. How exciting!”

Javier’s brows furrowed as he glanced around you, “Uh, yeah. If grading papers can be considered exciting.”

“Your students are so lucky.” She continued, her brand of enthusiasm making you consider murder. They were all so fucking shamless. “If you were my professor back when I was in college, I would’ve always been in your office.” Chelly smirked. “Do you give extra credit?”

“Only if the situation calls for it.” Javier answered, entirely unphased by the insinuation Chelly had just doled out. “I’ve got a couple students that are balancing a career on top of education, so I’m a little more lenient with them.”

You turned to look at Javier, watching as he loosened his tie. He caught your gaze, arching a curious brow as you subtly tilted your head towards Chelly. With a wiggle of your brows, he caught on to what you were indicating. This mother was just like the rest of the women who — for some reason — couldn’t get enough of Javi. Would they feel the same way if they knew he hogged the covers? Frequently forgot to put the seat down? Slowly drove you crazy?

You loved him, but he was not the man they put him on the pedestal as. It had to be because he was so effortlessly devoted to both you and Josie. He was aloof to their flirting and that only made them try harder.

Javier leaned close to press a quick kiss to your lips, resting his hand on your swollen belly. “How have my three favorite girls been today?” He questioned, smiling warmly at you.

“Josie and I drove around to look at townhomes.” You told him, chewing on your bottom lip. “We ended up finding a gorgeous little three-bedroom craftsman in Coconut Grove.”

“I hadn’t taken you for Grovites.” Chelly interjected and Javier glared at her. “What? It’s very bohemian.”

You sighed heavily, “Anyways. It has a better backyard than the townhomes.”

“Wanna set up an appointment to look at it?”

“I wrote the relator’s information down.” You told him with a grin, resting your hand over his on your stomach. “Josie saw an iguana and decided that’s where we have to live.”

He chuckled, “Of course she did.”

The teacher pulled everyone’s attention to the front of the studio, dimming the lights as the little girls and boys came out to perform the dance they had been working on for weeks. Josie was such a good little ballerina. You were impressed with how dedicated she was to practicing at home — you had never been that dedicated to anything when you were little. Then again, you had a feeling that Javier’s constant praise was a big motivator. Josie was bound and determined to make him proud.

And given the grin on his face, she had succeeded.

After the recital, everyone made their way into another room where drinks and snacks and been set up. Josie was running around playing make-believe with some of her classmates while you and Javier made small talk with the other parents.

“What was Chelly up to?” Javier questioned as he took a sip of lemonade, arching a brow over the rim of the plastic cup as he looked at you.

“For someone who had half of Colombia’s finest eating out of the palm of your hand…” You laughed and shook your head at just how offended he looked by that statement. “Javi, you rambled about being lenient to working students, when Chelly was referencing the kind of extra credit you earn from a—” You lowered your voice, slipping your hand into his as you stepped into his side. “—blowjob.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Javier worked his jaw. “What kind of man do these women take me for?”

You shrugged a shoulder, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I don’t get it.”

“You’re pregnant!”

“Better reason to find yourself a hot co-ed?” You suggested with a roll of your eyes. Sliding your fingers through Javier’s where they were interlaced, you turned to look at him. “Speaking of office hours… do you have any tomorrow?”

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he met your eyes. “Are your grades slipping?”

You smirked and nodded your head, “It’s just been so hard.”

“I can only imagine,” He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I’m sure I could come up with extra credit for you.”

“I’m sure you’ll rise to the occasion.” You retorted, sweeping your tongue along your bottom lip, catching Javier’s attention. “I’m serious.”

“I was hoping you were.” He said lowly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “One to three.”

You nodded your head, “I’ll see you then, Professor.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, before you caught sight of one of the mothers veering towards you. “Missy incoming.”

“It is just so good to see you!” She said, mooning over Javier before glancing at you. “Both of you.” Missy clasped her hands together. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

You rested your hand against your stomach. “Josie is very excited about being a big sister.”

Missy seemed confused momentarily, “Oh. Right! Yes.”

Javier frowned, “What were you congratulating us for?”

“I heard you got married.”

You laughed. “No.”

“This is just our birth dates.” Javier explained, gesturing to the ring he wore. “Christmas gift.”

Missy’s hands went to her hips, “That’s… modern.”

“It’s to deter women who can’t seem to catch the hint.” You said bluntly.

“Marriage would certainly handle that.”

Javier curled his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. “So does having two children. Excuse me.” He looked to you then, “You ready to find Josie and go home?”

“I’d love that.” You could feel your pulse drumming in your ears with your annoyance. “I’m so fucking tired of these women.” You muttered as Javier guided you away from Missy.

“I thought you were going to start swinging.” Javier chuckled, petting his hand over your hair before pressing a kiss to your temple. “Ice cream?”

“Hell yes.”

———

Despite the cool weather that had swept through Florida you still opted for a sundress, smartly paired with a sweater and your knee-length jacket. It was one of the few dresses you had kept from when you were pregnant with Josie, handmade by the woman down the hall that ended up watching her when you went back to work. Back in Colombia you rarely had an excuse to wear a nice dress — if you were at work you were dressing to conceal your pregnancy as best as possible, clinging to your professional wear until you had to buy new clothes from catalogues and hope that they were safely delivered to the embassy.

It was far from ideal.

But now you were able to truly enjoy your pregnancy. A nice sundress seemed like the perfect thing to wear to visit Javier at the university.

You made your way across the campus to Javier’s office-quad. The halls were quiet save for the murmured voices from behind closed doors as lectures took place. You glanced at your watch, it was just after one. And just as Javi had promised you — the other professors weren’t in their offices.

Sweeping your fingers through your hair, you drew in a deep breath before you approached his office door and knocked three times. You could hear the shuffle of paper, the creak of his chair as he got up. Your heart skipped a beat as he pulled the door open. Okay, maybe you got why everyone was trying to chase him down for themselves.

He hated suits, but he looked hot as fuck in one. And those glasses… why had he hid them from you for so long?

“Hi.” You breathed out, scraping your teeth over your bottom lip as you looked up at him. “I was hoping I might talk to you about getting my grades up... Professor.”

Javier smirked at you, opening his door a little wider. “I’m certain we can figure out some way to help you excel in my class.” He drawled out.

You brushed past him closer than necessary, grinning when you caught his sharp inhale. This was something you had only ever discussed from the comfort of your bed. It was risky, but everything about your relationship had been filled with risk.

He moved to lean against his desk, hands curled around the edge as he stared at you. “Why do you think you’ve been struggling in class?” Javier gestured to the seat in front of him.

You peeled off your coat as you sat down slowly, your hand resting on your stomach as you stared at him. “I think some of the material is just hard to understand.” You answered, wetting your lips as you met his gaze. “But I’m willing to do anything to bring my grade up, Professor.”

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” He swallowed thickly as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Holy shit.”

“Breaking character already?” You teased, your eyes flickering to the notable bulge in his trousers. “We don’t have to do this, Javi.”

“I want to.” He assured you quickly, following your line of sight downwards. “How are your oral skills?”

Your cheeks flushed red and you started laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You covered your face, descending into a fit of giggles. “Do people really say this shit? I can’t.”

“C’mere.” Javier held his hand out and you took it, letting him pull you towards him. “I don’t really want to pretend you’re my student.” He said softly, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip as he met your gaze. “I don’t want to pretend with you.”

“Me neither.” You whispered, your fingers curling around the side of his neck as you leaned in to kiss him. You let the kiss linger, before you pulled back just enough to speak. “But I’m not leaving until you fuck me.”

Javier groaned and kissed you again, his mouth slanting over yours as his hand creeped up your thigh, sliding beneath the hem of your skirt. You smirked against his lips as you waited for him to discover that you had opted to go without one very crucial garment. “Baby.”

“I came here with one mission.” You grinned, bumping your nose against his. “Surprise.”

“I love you.” Javier kissed you again as his fingers trailed over the bar skin of your hip, before he dipped his hand down between your thighs.

You moaned softly against his mouth as he stroked his fingers between your slick folds. It wasn’t nearly enough stimulation, but you were so sensitive — every nerve in your body seemingly focused on the desire that made you throb. Your tongue darted out over his bottom lip, seeking entrance as his lips parted.

Javier’s fingers twisted in your hair, cradling the back of your head as he kissed you back with the same desperate need you offered. He pressed a single finger into you, your inner walls clenching around the intrusion.

“Fuck.” You swore, gasping for a breath as he pressed a second finger into you. He drew them out of you slowly, his thumb brushing over your clit. “Javi.” You practically wined, grabbing at his shoulders for support.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He questioned. Javier still had his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you so he could stare into your eyes as he worked his fingers in and out of you. “Come on, baby… I asked you a question.”

“Yes!” You bit out as he started circling your clit, the rough sweep of his thumb making your desire spike. “I’m… fuck… Javier, please.” You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, nails biting into his skin as you clung to him. Your legs nearly gave out on you as your release overtook you, your inner walls clenching around his fingers as he kept working his fingers into you.

“That’s a good girl,” Javier murmured, pushing your hair away from your face as he pressed a row of kisses along your jaw. He kept a tight grip on your hip to hold you steady as he drew his fingers away from you. You felt heat rise in your cheeks as you watched him bring them to his lips, licking away your arousal that clung to them.

“Javi.” You breathed out, grabbing at his hand and bringing it to your own mouth. You wrapped your lips around his fingers, swirling your tongue around them. You released your grasp on his shoulder, reaching down to palm him through his trousers.

“Fuck.” He grunted, swatting your hand away as he stood up. You shuffled back, eyes on his. “Hop up here.” Javier told you, patting the spot where he had been sitting.

You carefully perched yourself on the edge of your desk, biting down on your bottom lip as you lifted your dress up, revealing your thighs as you settled backwards. As much as you’d prefer it if he would just bend you over his desk and have his way with you — your stomach posed a slight challenge.

Javier unbuckled his trousers, slighting the belt out of the loops and letting it drop to the ground. His trousers went next, zipped drawn down and the fabric shoved down his hips. “I have no fucking clue how I’m going to meet with students.” He gestured to you. “This is all I’m going to see.”

“Good.” You whispered, spreading your legs apart wider for him. “Tell me I’m a good girl again.”

His brows shot upwards, “You like that?”

“I’ve always enjoyed it.”

“Huh.” Javier pursed his lips as he rested his hands atop your thighs, fingers spanning out over your skin.

“I don’t exactly advertise it.” You told him, holding his gaze as you reached down to stroke your fingers between your sensitive folds. “Don’t make me wait, Javi. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’m a fucking lucky man.” Javier said lowly as he loosened his tie. He started to take his glasses off but you stopped him.

“I want them on.”

He rolled his eyes. “Suit yourself.” Javier freed his cock from his boxers, giving himself a sure stroke before he stepped towards you.

You bit down on your bottom lip, willing yourself not to be too loud as he pressed into you. He started with just the tip of him, pressing in and then dragging himself through your folds. “Tease.” You hooked your leg around his hip, trying to draw him closer.

“Be a good girl for me,” Javier tried, though the tone he used made you stifle a giggle. “Fuck off.”

“Just fuck me, Javi.” You rolled your hips, groaning as he pressed forward — filling you in one swift movement. “Oh, fuck.”

He grabbed at your hips, holding you steady as he started to move. A pen rolled off his desk behind your head and you didn’t even care what else he lost in the effort. Your hands gripped at his where they rested at your hips.

“Feel so fucking good.” Javier managed, nearly pulling free of you entirely before he was slamming back home. Your bottom lip was going to be swollen by the time you were done with it, biting at it in an attempt to keep from crying out as he kept driving into that sweet spot within you.

“So do you.” You hissed out. “Just like that. Fuck.”

Javier gripped at your hip tightly, holding you steady as he kept slamming into you. You curled your hand around the back of his neck, lifting up off the desk to kiss him. Your mouth slanted over his, your moans caught against his lips. The slight change of angle had you tensing, your release overtaking you as you started to clench around him.

His grip tightened on your hip, clinging to you as he followed you over the proverbial cliff. His hips pressed into your, grinding against you as he came apart within you. You let yourself sink back against the desk, knocking papers off as you did.

“Fuck.” He swore, rolling his hips twice more before he pulled out of you. Javier swallowed thickly as he looked down, “You are… damn.”

You moaned softly, pushing your hair off your clammy cheeks. “Holy shit.”

Javier leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your thigh, his breath hot against your skin. “Didn’t know I could possibly love you anymore than I already did.”

You laughed and teased him lightly. “I do love how you get after you come.”

He rolled his eyes. “I was having a moment.”

You gave him a look. “So was I.” You nudged his shoulder with your foot. “My underwear are in my left coat pocket.”

“Clever.”

You smirked. “As much fun as it sounds to walk around campus sans-panties after this…” You gestured downwards. “I am not in college anymore.”

Javier narrowed his eyes.

“You’re not allowed to be jealous, Javi.” You quipped as he slid your underwear up your thighs. You scooted off the desk, laying your dress back down. “That was fun.” You told him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as you helped him tuck himself back into his boxers and slacks.

“I can’t believe we finally did it.” He brushed his fingers over your cheek, kissing you again. “You were such a good girl.”

“I’m a sucker for your praise.” You whispered, tilting your chin up as you looked up at him as you straightened his tie. “I love you.”

“I lov—” A knock interrupted him. “Shit.”

You quickly sat back down in the chair across from his desk, watching as Javier quickly picked up the paper and pens that had been scattered across the floor. He cleared his throat — not inconspicuously at all. “Come in.”

The door opened slowly, “I’m so sorry for interrupting Professor Peña.” The young woman’s eyes flickered towards you. “It’s good to see you again.” She was the same student that had been there the day you came to tell Javier that you were pregnant. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, rubbing your thumb over your bottom lip. You’d certainly done a number on it.

“It’s fine Monica. What is it?”

“I can come back.” The blush on her cheeks and her inability to look Javier in the eye made you suspect that it was plainly obvious as to what she’d just walked in on.

“What did you need?” Javier questioned with a slight edge to his voice.

“I was hoping you might look over the report I’m working on. You mentioned you’d be willing to make sure we were on the right track and… I can drop it off later.”

You cleared your throat, “I can check it over for you.” You offered, holding your hand out. “He usually farms things off to me anyways.”

Monica smiled and passed the paper to you. “Thank you. I don’t know if he tells you how much he talks about you in class, but… we all think you’re a badass.”

With a laugh you smiled at her. “If you ask the DEA, I didn’t do jackshit in Colombia, but I’m glad Javier’s keeping my efforts alive.” You looked towards him, your eyes shining with adoration for him. You weren’t the least bit surprised that he talked about you. Even when you weren’t with him, he had always been one of the few people on your side of the ring.

“When the timing is better, do you think we could get coffee… or tea.” Monica smiled hopefully at you. “I don’t really know what I want to do after college, but I do want to pursue law enforcement in some capacity.”

“Of course.” You leaned forward and grabbed a piece of paper off Javier’s desk, jotting your number down. “Give me a call this weekend and we can set it up.”

“Thank you.” Monica looked between the two of you, before she excused herself.

“She definitely knows what we were just doing, doesn’t she?” Javier questioned, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the edge of the desk beside you.

You nodded your head with a laugh. “Oh, without a doubt.” You grinned at him. “You talk about me?”

“All the time. I’m surprised they’re not bored as shit.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Think Connie would mind watching Josie a little longer today?”

“Why?”

Javier rubbed at the back of his neck. “You want to come to my lecture at five?”

“I’d love to.” You grinned at him as you stood up. “You call her and I’m going to go clean up.”

He caught your arm, shaking his head slowly. “Don’t.”

You smirked, “You are such a jackass.” You slowly draped your arms over his chest, leaning up to kiss him.”

“And you love me for it.” Javier drawled out, letting his hand slip beneath your dress so he could grab your ass. “Please?”

“I don’t know…” You said coyly.

“I thought you were a good girl.”

“Don’t wear it out.” You shot back, bumping your nose against his. “Fine.”

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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parlideldiavolo · 4 years ago

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🌾

CANNOT believe I’m being forced to think about this

His smile. Not the little smirk or quirk he has by default, but the genuine ones that make that odd light in his eyes spark and his face soften and the corners of his mouth curl in deep—the soft kind, the laughing kind. His expression is so practiced and smooth that when it breaks it’s like you’re in on a secret together, and it’s sweet. There’s something pure about those smiles.

(And that mark by his mouth, it’s so distracting. It asks for attention; poses the question of how easy would it be, really, to run a finger over it, or a lip, and while you’re there you might as well kiss that little soft smirk, because why not? If you’re into that.)

He’s always thinking. There’s a sense that it’s other people who occupy his thoughts most. He wants to make things better, and when you know him, you know there’s very little he wouldn’t do to make that happen. You also get the feeling he doesn’t count himself among those better things; that it’s for other people, but you know better. He cares a lot. He’s tireless about it—a fire that can’t be smothered.

He’s unafraid to step in and bends his own rules as much as he bends the ones held over him. He won’t let an injustice slide and it only takes a spark to ignite something much bigger. The look he gets sometimes says he doesn’t mind making a scene and that’d be fun, actually, let’s make trouble, let’s light it up. He has your back. Confident, calculated ruckus. Cunning. Spitfire.

He makes a lot of gestures and talks with his hands. They’re cute; twirls, waves, quick movements, hands tucking hair behind an ear, holding a finger to his mouth, a little foot bounce, a wink. There are gloves he wears, but that makes it exciting when they come off, when it’s just his hands—pale fingers gliding with the occasional flickering runes, calculating in their trajectories, soft and feathery, and you want to know where they might go as much as you know his touch is a serious thing... like a controlled flame, and it makes someone want to know what it feels like if they curled in—because throughout it all, it feels like he doesn’t want to let go.

He’s also funny, sarcastic or otherwise. He’ll make the most off-the-cuff statements in an accent and sometimes use one of his phrases that are so stupid and adorable and not something you’d expect to hear a silver-tongued devil say. It’s playful. He’s really playful. It feels like he gets away with bits of affection that way, and often. Drama!

It’s fun to rile him up. That’s when you get those dramatic interjections and capslock and BIG gestures and grumbling and FEH FINE HMPH and there’s a cute ‘arguing’-as-flirting element to it all because he’s not actually mad or uncomfortable or anything, he’s just a flame that likes to be stoked and messing with him a little is a love language. It’s fun.

He thinks he gets away with some things he doesn’t. He’ll pretend it’s not happening. Maddening, that. Soft, too.

Watching him go red is addictive. It shows up so easily on him, and makes you wonder if it was just a little more, a little more... then he might just POP into his devil form from the sheer force of it. It can be hard to predict what will get a reaction, but that makes it so satisfying when it happens.

He has pretty eyes, gray or red. They’re easiest to admire when he’s looking at something else or focusing because he tends to skirt around looking at someone directly. It’s like a chest ache. (Let me look at you.) It’d be intense, you know.

Reckless. Wildfire. He could have anything, but these are the things and people he picks—the less fortunate, the earnest, the good. If he had a castle he’d burn it down. Maybe he has before. You know, somehow, he’d burn a lot down to make a statement—and for you.

He loves his cat. It’s spoiled. It looks like he was made to tuck in next to it. He loves his family. He wasn’t made to be alone.

He‘s curious. It makes him super nosey.

Have we talked about his peets?

Well, maybe that’s enough.

(They look very squishable.)

#I stream of consciousness this and refuse to edit. die #ooc #post #ask meme #obv not in any voice BC I’m not that strong but also [citation needed]

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magaprima · 5 years ago

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Part 2 Episode 4 Thoughts

Now, even though MG is only in it at the very end, obviously the tarot reader Mrs McG is Lilith with a glamour, so this is actually a Lilith heavy episode. Also, as a side note, the actress playing Mrs McG is so good in that when you watch it with the knowledge she’s Lilith, you see how much of her expressions and mannerisms are the same, and I just find that really impressive. The way she smiles, the wide eyes when she’s listening, the pressed lips before she prepares saying something...I just feel like the actor studied MG’s acting on set in order to do this performance.

The first cards she reads are Sabrina’s, and she’s all ‘ah, you have questions about your young suitor’ and then when Sabrina admits, yes, she does, because he recently lied to her about not doing something, Lilith literally cannot keep her shit together over the smallness of that. She’s literally says:

“One lie? That’s it?”

You can literally see she’s just like ‘wtf, that’s your only problem? One lie? I’ve been dating the fucking Prince of Lies for thousands of years’. I love that, even while under a glamour, Lilith can’t hide her ‘wtf’ from people.

“The cards tell me he’s a handsome trickster which few women can resist”

I feel this is another instance of Lilith speaking from experience, ever so subtly. Like we know Lucifer is, at his best, a handsome trickster, and Lilith wasn’t able to resist him.

Then after Sabrina has her reading where she ends up dead thanks to the Weird Sisters, Lilith tells her the lesson is:

“In this case, it’s not the boy you need to fear. Believe your trickster and him alone...you need not fear the dark path as long as you trust the boy who walks it with you”

Now, Lilith potentially knows that Nick is being used by the Dark Lord, and the reason she’s telling Sabrina to trust him is so she’ll trust the path the Dark Lord is setting her on. But considering Lilith, when she first hears his name, says to Sabrina he sounds like trouble, thus technically risking putting her off him, and even potentially accuses him of summon the demons, which would definitely keep Sabrina from trusting him, I’m going to say at this point Lilith doesn’t know, because the Dark Lord doesn’t exactly share all his plans with her, does he?

So what purpose does she have in telling Sabrina to trust him? Keeping her on the path, yes, but it’s also telling her that others are to be wary, that she should be on her guard and trust no one else. That even freaking includes ‘Ms Wardwell’. I just feel that Lilith, throughout all of these readings, claims to be messing with their heads, but actually seems to be giving them genuine advice via the cards. And I have headcanoned she sees her younger self Sabrina, the way she was in the Garden, and maybe subconsciously, she does want to push Sabrina in the direction that brings the freedom Lilith hasn’t yet had? Even if she doesn’t consciously realise it? I’m mainly thinking aloud here

And then she sees Theo and says ‘what a curious young man’. Instantly calls him ‘young man’ and I just love that. Lilith respects gender and pronouns. She tells him;

‘You look like a boy with a burning question. One that my tarot cards can asnwer better than any book’

And then she proceeds to give Theo a lesson that is all about not conforming, finding your own path, not looking for the quick and easy path, that cheating the journey brings bad things, and that the journey takes time, and also that what he looks like on the outside doesn’t change who he is on the inside, that Theo can make who he is, holds all the power. And that is such a freaking powerful message. And proves, to me at least, that Theo is entirely Lilith’s fave.

She even tells him at the end that the message is ‘a warning’

“My advice? Don’t steal. And seek help early from others that can help you reach the prize you covet”

I mean she’s literally telling Theo the path to being what and who he wants to be lies in others, the support of those around him. To not keep it all to himself.

Conversely, she seems to have no patience with Roz at all. She literally forces herself on her, sits down beside her, gets the card out, and holds no freaking punches with talking about the Cunning and guilt. I suspect this is because Roz is a pastor’s daughter, and her ancestors injured witches. She is so consistently short and abrupt with her, even when Roz is horrified by the reading, simply saying ‘You still have a choice to make’. And the reading itself makes Roz question her Father and the church, as it shows them as corrupt and bad. Now, Lilith could be bending the truth extremely, and we know the readings aren’t literal, she even says herself that the cards are just a mirror, but there has to be enough truth in it for Roz to refuse the surgery. And Roz doesn’t question in the vision when she’s saying how her Dad always gets money from the church. Now, it’s a fact that there is a hell of a lot of monetary corruption in all organised religion, and the Christian churches are certainly not exempt from that....so what does Lilith know about Roz’s father? Either way, it’s very obvious Lilith is not a fan of Roz’s family and their church connections. Obviously.

She then tempts Zelda in by simply showing her the High Priestess card, which makes me laugh. It’s just like that’s all it took to make Zelda sit down. And her lesson for her is a really simple; don’t tell Blackwood a fucking thing. Straight and to the point.

She’s a lot gentler with Harvey than she is with Roz, despite him being a Witch Hunter, and ends up letting him see what might happen if he left Greendale, but through the lesson reveals to him that he’s too tied to the realm of witches and demons, that no matter where he travels, it will follow him. BUT, she also gives him a purpose, she shows him what his drawings can do, that his artistic talent can be used to to fight things, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Harvey then uses his drawing talents to keep the gates of hell shut. Lilith obviously didn’t know that was what would happen, but it definitely opens the idea up for him that his art can work like sigils, his own kind of magic. It seems to be that reading for Harvey has Lilith showing him a purpose in this world that is neither mortal or witch hunter, but something in between.

“You will suffer for your art, but you need not leave home to do so. You will dig deep to unearth your true calling, here, in Greendale”

She’s literally telling him she has a calling here, and the digging deep refers to the gates of hell. Lilith literally sets the groundwork here for Harvey become the fighter he is rather than a hunter. And I find that so important. And it shows that when she’s left to her own devices, Lilith tends to help more than hinder, even if she thinks she’s doing the opposite.

And then there’s Ambrose, who has a lesson much like Zelda’s; don’t fucking trust Blackwood. Anything Blackwood related, Lilith does her utmost best to sabotage. Yet, Zelda still marries him and Ambrose still gets used by him. She tried, people, she tried! She also tries to stop Ambrose finding out about Luke’s fate for some reason.

“ I think in this case perhaps not knowing the truth is better”

It’s quite possible this is is a case of reverse-psychology; she knows refuses to tell Ambrose about Luke will make him find out about it.

However, Lilith chooses not to do a reading for Dr C or Hilda, which, admittedly, is more about episode time availabilty than anything else, but still...why wouldn’t she? And she tells them she thinks they’re a lovely couple, and that she’ll do Hilda next time and I do think Lilith was genuinely having plans for them...but whether these plans will ever be shown in the show is highly unlikely, haha.

And then she gets back to the house in her glamour and we, as the audience, discover who Mrs McG really is.

“Well, I have had a glorious day. And productive let me tell you. I’m plumbed the depths of their tiny minds, plucking all sorts of juicy titbits”

Did you though, Lilith, did you? Because from what I see, it seems she gave more than she received, like she might have had a little glimpse into vulnerabilities, but the lessons her card readings gave sort of negated most of them?

“Never hurts to have a sharpened blade handy”

WHAT SHARPENED BLADE??? WHERE???? Is she just making up shit to Stolas to make it look like she was doing something more with her day than simply noseying into their lives and giving them little nuggets of quite useful advice? But delivering it in a slightly unnerving way, because that’s where she gets her fun?

“In the coming war, Stolas, no one can be trusted. Why the Dark Lord taught me that himself”

That line hurts, because it could be he taught her through the fact he’s proven he can’t be trusted, but it could also be because he’s gotten involved with her other relationships (all kinds, I don’t just mean romantic) tempting them, to ensure they betrayed her so she’d learned to trust no one beyond his selected circle? Either way it’s showing that Lilith has had a very harsh, lonely existence. It’s also foreshadowing for the fact that even Stolas can’t be trusted.

“And who knows? If the apocalypse is upon us, even his plans might go awry”

The fact she says if instead of when shows that Lucifer is definitely not sharing all his plans with her, because even something as big as that still carries a level of uncertainty.

“And it would be every woman for herself”

The way she lifts her chin here, defensively, determined, and how she specifies woman, which means she’s excluding Lucifer from this statement, I think shows she’s already considered ruling without him, that there’s a chance he won’t give her the throne and she might have to take it. But she knows how powerful it is and that’s too risky to ever try...unless his plans go awry and ‘all hell breaks loose’, in which case there’s opportunity.

Cut to Stolas looking silently concerned by this statement, because he’s Satan’s spy and Lilith is monologuing about doing things for herself...

And then she does a one-card reading for herself. And it is a genuine reading, she draws properly, and she doesn’t know what she’s going to get, you see how tense she is, wondering what the reading will be...but then she sees, and she’s surprised at first, but then it becomes a focus, a fixation, and it’s the first time I think that Lilith sees what she genuinely could be. The Empress. And the Empress rules with no man at her side.

#episode stuff #long post

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melyaliz · 6 years ago

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Chapter 3: Enchanted

Starcrossed part 3

Fandom: Harry Potter

Summary: Pureblood and perfect. Everything during his years at Hogwarts was going to be pureblood and perfect.

Pairing: Draco x OC

Notes: Do we like the flip to Draco’s POV? I’m not sure how much I will do it but I do want this to be a coming of age story for both of them so I feel like a little bit of his perspective is important.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

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The first time Draco Malfoy saw Calista he knew,

He was going to marry that girl.

She sat on a golden chair in the corner of the dance floor as the adults mixed and mingled. Dressed in an intricate beautiful golden dress that wouldn’t normally suite a young 6-year-old girl regardless of the elegance of the party. The beadwork and golden threads seemed to catch the light in such a way that they let off an almost hazy glow around the small girl.

This mixed with her own beautiful curls placed perfectly set on her head and large deep blue-green eyes that peacefully watched the world spin around her gave her an almost unearthly look. If it wasn’t for the occasional blink or head nod Draco might have thought she was one of the statues that would sit on the shelves in the many rooms of his home. The ones his mother always told him he could look at but never touch.

“Oh look the Royals are here” his mother sniffed, her voice laced with sarcasm. Something a 6-year-old Draco didn’t quite understand at the time.

“Royals?”

“Oh yes dear, see that little girl over there? She’s basically an object, the seconds always are.”

“Object?”

“Someday that little girl will be married to a very handsome rich pureblood and have little babies.”

At the time he wasn’t quite sure what married meant but he assumed it was something good if it involved a pureblood. Plus, Draco was very handsome, his mother told him so. So that meant he was going to marry the little golden girl.

She never talked, the golden girl. She would just sit there watching them all go by as if glued to the chair or floor, or blanket her mother would place her. Always watching while the other children ran around laughing.

During those early days Draco never thought it was odd, after all, she would smile and looked quite content obediently rooted in her position. That was just who his golden girl was. The girl who sat there and looked like something out of a bedtime story.

Watching him. He was sure of it, after all, they were to be married one day so she obviously paid attention to him the way he paid attention to her. When she was around he made sure to show off. Played a little louder, explained a little brighter, smiled a little wider.

But he never talked to the golden girl.

Or he didn’t until the day she wasn’t just standing there watching.

Instead of her blue gaze taking in the merriment around her, her eyes were locked on a book. Swept up in its pages. Lost to the world around her.

Many of the adults whispered shaking their heads. Too much reading. It wasn’t good for a girl her age. Didn’t her parents know it would make her dull? Possibility, even cross-eyed. Merlin forbid she needed glasses, it would ruin her pretty face.

Of course, they were right. The adults always knew what was right. Besides with her gaze on the books, she wasn’t watching him. And Draco couldn’t have that.

“If you always have your nose in a book, it’ll make you cross-eyed” he informed her smartly using the same inflictions his father had used when he explained the world to Draco. The golden girl looked up at him. Deep blue eyes blinking as if unsure where they were. After a moment she gently closed her book, her finger between the pages saving her place.

“What do you think?” she asked crossing her eyes. The question caught him off guard. Her voice was flat if not a bit high pitched, not quite how he had imagined it so many times in his head. Serious, it showed no hint of a joke or sarcasm (something the now 8-year-old understood quite well). Merely a question, genuine and pure.

Her crossed eyes made her look silly, it was as if the spell of the golden girl was broken. No longer a pretty little thing in the corner. Now she had a voice and looked like any of the other kids playing.

“You look like a mudblood” he knew he wasn’t supposed to use that word, but that made it even more impactful. Learning it’s meaning a year or so earlier it's taboo nature made him want to use it any chance he could. He and his friends saying it with naughty giggles worried the adults would hear but pretending they didn’t care.

“If I looked like a mud - blood would that mean I could read as many books as I wanted?” her next question seemed a little more light. As if she wasn’t sure the meaning of the word but also didn’t seem to care. More curious about her plight to the meaning. Was she mocking him? There was no way, his golden girl must be genuinely confused.

“I guess, but then no one would ever want to marry you” He shrugged casually giving her the threat his mother had murmured about many of the unwed girls at their parties. All women wanted was to get married. Even he knew that.

“What would happen to me do you think, if no one wanted to marry me?” the statement was soft as if speaking more to herself than him. Her eyes looking beyond him to a world where she wasn’t married.

“You’d be alone” it was obviously, words like “old maid” and “loveless” crossed his mind as he tried to remember what his mother would say when gossiping to her friends. Wasn’t the threat of being alone always on the tip of everyone’s tongue?

“So not much different than now.”

Her comment caught him off guard. Simple and soft but to the point. For the first time since… maybe forever her gaze was truly on him. Boring a hole into his very soul. Looking at him as if he was the only person in the whole world. Just the two of them

Alone.

It was a frightening thought really. Living alone. Having no one at your side. At your beck and call. Who would tell him things of the world? Explain how he was pureblood and deserving of everything he wanted?

No, he was not alone. He had his mother who doted over him. He had his father who showed him how to be a man like him.

He had his friends, the children at the parties. His own crew of admirers.

And he had his golden girl.

But something shifted that day. He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it but it was as if from that day on she would look right at him. Would catch his gaze anywhere in a room.

And would cross her eyes.

---------

Draco had long ago learned his golden girl’s name, Calista. And while she wasn’t directly royal her father, a Frenchman was some sort of 9th degree of prince or something. His mother had offhandedly mentioned it once. It was obvious to Draco now that his mother wasn’t much of a fan of Calista’s parents.

But then again she wasn’t much of a fan of anyone really. Only throwing these lavish parties to show off. It was what they all did, the pureblood women. As if a way to prove they were well off, happy, and the best of the bunch.

After all, what else does one do when they have as much money and prestige like the Malfoys did?

Yet even now knowing her name and not so royal heritage Calista always felt like something special to him. Something golden that you kept on the top shelf out of the reach of dirty hands.

Maybe it was because he only saw her at their parties, dressed head to toe in the latest most fashionable robes that suited her so well they couldn’t have been made for anyone else.

Or maybe it was because she would always sit away from everyone else. Just out of reach, always there for her mother to show off but far enough away you couldn’t talk to her without the parental permission.

Which was why when he saw her on the train to Hogwarts he barely recognized her.

Among the hustle of other students, she was just standing there looking so… normal. No gold dresses. Her hair still perfectly in place but in a simple bow no intricate updo. She looked so average he hadn’t even recognized her at first as she backed into him.

“Hey watch it!”

She turned and he instantly knew who she was. How could he not? Even in her plain clothes, she had a grace about her that only royalty could.

“ Langlais ?” her surname came out more of a question as if he was still confused that this rather normal looking child was really his golden girl. What was she doing here? Didn’t she have a golden shelf to sit on?

She smiled up at him before bowing her head slightly unable to curtsy “Malfoy.”

They sat on the train ride together. This was the first time they had a proper conversation. Granted several lower class students chimed in with their own rubbish opinions about houses. (Honestly who could possibly think Hufflepuff was anything but total garbage for mudbloods and squibs?)

It was interesting to see how excited Calista was. She had never shown so much emotion. Asking so many questions, blue eyes wide as she seemed to find every little fact about everyone around her fascinating. It was strange yes, but also thrilling. After all Draco Malfoy was not one to pass down an opportunity to show off.

Or that was his plan until that nosey Hannah - whatever her name was- kept chiming in with false information.

But he didn’t really let it bother him too much because it didn’t matter. This was his year. He would be the most popular boy in school. Get the best grades, have the best friends and be the captain of the Quidditch team. How could he not? He was the best and wouldn’t settle for anything less.

Calista’s excitement seemed to grow as they entered Hogwarts. Hannah nudged her as they got ready to enter the great hall.

“Good luck with the sorting hat. I know that it will give you the right house.”

Even Draco could tell that this bothered his golden girl. Calista bit her bottom lip giving a small wave to the other girl. Honestly, she didn’t need to worry, it was obvious which house she would get.

“Of course it will,” he said to ease her nerves. She just needed to trust him, he knew.

Or that was what he told himself until she was standing on the steps and the Hat was screaming Hufflepuff for the whole world to hear.

Draco watched in pure shock as she walked slowly back to her seat before turning to look at him. Then she crossed her eyes.

It was then that Draco realized something may be wrong with his little golden girl.

-GET TAGGED!-

Tagging: @royslittleharper @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @daisyboobear @werewitchling @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @ocelysium @pinkwitch21

Starcrossed @elaacreditava

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy oc #Draco Malfoy fanfic #Draco Malfoy reader #Draco Malfoy x reader #Harry Potter fanfic #Harry Potter oc #Harry Potter reader #my writing #starcrossed #my fic

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magioftheseas · 7 years ago

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Find Us In That Forest

Summary: High School AU. It's a story about two girls lost in a forest together. How it ends is for you to decide.

Rating: T+ or M

Warnings: Gun violence, blood and gore, trauma, emotional baggage and hurt/comfort, mental instability and some mild sexual themes.

Notes: This was going to be for an exchange until I realized they didn’t want gore. Whoops. Still, ~11K later and I finished it anyway. It’s inspired by the YuriKuma manga because I fucking LOVE YuriKuma (someday I’ll write something actually based off the anime hopefully maybe) so like, it’s... Yeah. Please read it. Mind the warnings.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The music room is just down the hallway so even in the library, it’s easy to hear. That would be irritating—if what being played was anything but Akamatsu’s piano. She’s playing Debussy’s Clair de Lune again. That’s one of her favorite ones to play.

Akamatsu Kaede...

“It is quite lovely,” Toujou was agreeing quietly as Shirogane nodded quite happily.

“Ah, of course, Akamatsu-san in general is very, very lovely,” Shirogane said matter-of-factly. “Don’t you think so, Harukawa-san?”

Irritating.

“You are being too noisy,” she replied curtly. “And too nosey.”

Shirogane giggled as she shut her book and slipped out of her desk.

“Everyone sees how you look at her, Harukawa-san!” she called after her. It irritated her further.

Even though, of course, such things did not matter.

The world she lives in is a very gray one. Dull. Cold. Devoid of even pleasant sounds and scents. But it had always been that way, ever since she was little and saw someone’s blood on her hands for the first time.

She does not remember anything past the blood. She does not need to. Either way, the damage was done and she shut down.

She would not be a drain on society, of course. Such would let down the kindly people who raised her, and so she still dressed herself properly, took care of herself properly, tying up her hair and running a brush through it several times over as necessary. She survived, even if she did not live.

Until Akamatsu Kaede. When she encountered Akamatsu Kaede...

Color. Warmth. Music. Fragrance.

Such sensations had only been within her grasp when Akamatsu Kaede brushed past her, golden hair glimmering in the sunlight, and smile bright as she laughed. For once, the world had been vibrant.

For once, she felt alive.

She does not know why this is, why Akamatsu Kaede, but frankly, she does not care. All that matters to her are these feelings, these sensations that have been made possible. All that matters is Akamatsu Kaede, the source of it all.

“Oh,” Akamatsu is always bright, but here, she seems to brighten even more. “Harukawa-san! Good morning!”

“Morning, Akamatsu,” she returned curtly. “Your recital was lovely as expected, yesterday.”

“I remember seeing you there! I wish you stayed,” Akamatsu sighed almost wistfully. “Harukawa-san, you love classic music too, don’t you?”

“Not particularly,” she answered honestly.

“But you said you liked Moonlight Sonata,” Akamatsu pointed out, not one to be deterred. “That’s pretty classic!”

“It’s just a song I happen to like,” she said coolly, even as she idly played with one of her ponytails. “I come to your recitals and concerts because I have nothing better to do. So, don’t misunderstand. I do not share your obsession.”

Akamatsu’s smile fell, cheeks puffing out.

“Harukawa-san, you’re awfully blunt. If you don’t particularly care for piano, why can’t you find anything better to do besides watch me play?”

Because there is nothing better than you.

“I like watching you play and there is nothing better to do.” There wasn’t. Of course not. How could there be?

Akamatsu blinked a few times. Her cheeks were such a pretty shade of pink, thanks to the blush she applied every morning.

“Oh, that’s right,” she said and then she laughed radiantly. “Harukawa-san is prickly on the outside, but soft and tender on the inside! Either way, either way, I really, really appreciate it! If my music can reach Harukawa-san’s soft and tender heart, then I must be doing something really special!”

Maki feels her face warm.

“...you play for that purpose. So saying that...is unnecessary. Or is it flattery?”

“It’s sincerity!” Akamatsu claimed. She couldn’t help but narrow her gaze. But she said nothing more on the matter.

...I sincerely mean every word I say as well. It is possible Akamatsu doesn’t fully understand that.

It wouldn’t be that surprising.

Akamatsu Kaede was bright, brilliant, beautiful, but also a bit of an idiot.

If her old friend from the orphanage were still around, if that person were witnessing this, Maki knows her well enough to predict what she’d ask.

“So, you’re in love with Akamatsu Kaede-chan, right?”

“No,” Maki would say. “She is merely my soulmate.”

“Merely? Being a soulmate is a pretty big deal!”

“No, it really isn’t,” Maki would reply. “It just is what it is.”

“Is it different from being in love?”

“Some would say yes,” Maki would say. “But, functionally, it might as well be the same. So, I suppose I should say that I’m in love with her.”

“Maki-chan... That’s a little confusing. Don’t tell me you don’t actually know...?”

“I don’t,” Maki would say. Easily. “Why would I? This is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about anyone.”

But then, those words would taste off, making Maki pause and blink twice.

“...I think.”

“You have an eye for fashion, Amami-kun, so you need to tell me your opinion!”

“Ahaha, not really, Shirogane-san...”

“Checkmate, Momota-chan.”

“Damn you! Quit playing dirty!”

“Ehhhhh?! Me, dirty?! T-That’s so cruel! Uwaaaaah!”

“Stop trying to fool people with your crocodile tears! Tenko sees straight through them!”

“Guys... Please...”

“Ohhh? Is Shittyhara trying to speak up?”

“Everyone!” Akamatsu’s hands come down hard on the table, and at that moment, Maki murderously glares at them all from behind Akamatsu’s stern face. “It’s the library! People are trying to study! Don’t be so noisy!”

Somehow, they all quieted after that. Iruma whimpered. Ouma giggled as Momota glared at him before interrogating him on whether he moved pieces while they were all turned away—Ouma lies, of course. Hoshi huffs, but returns to reading without raising so much as a fuss. Maki sympathized there, at least.

But when Akamatsu seats herself back down with a sigh, Maki only stared at her quietly and curiously.

“...Oh, Harukawa-san,” Akamatsu perked up. “They really were getting rowdy, weren’t they? But some would say that’s just to be expected from high school kids. Especially in a gifted school like this.”

Gifted. What an unpleasant word.

“It’s irritating,” she said.

“Well, they have their good points too, obviously,” Akamatsu laughed. And then, of course, she noticed something that had her smile faltering with exasperation. “Yumeno-san, please don’t eat the books!”

Chabashira pulled Yumeno away, even if she did so a bit too fondly and affectionately, patting Yumeno’s head and smiling adoringly down at Yumeno’s half-glazed eyes blinking back at her. And that, of course, earned Chabashira to quickly kiss her forehead. Just a quick kiss. They were in a library after all.

Still, it was daring, but unsurprising given the kind of person Chabashira was.

“...Harukawa-san.” She snapped back to attention at Akamatsu’s small, curious smile. “What book are you reading?”

“...it’s about bears. I’m only reading it because someone I knew really liked it and I wanted to see for myself if was any good,” she replied. Akamatsu’s head tilts. That curious smile remains.

“Well, is it?”

“...Not particularly.”

She doesn’t really like bears in the first place.

She’s never really liked bears. There had been a time in her life where some model made a fashion statement out of this wretched-looking monochromatic bear and she was one of the few girls not following the trend due to comparable amounts of disinterest and distaste.

She’s never really liked bears.

The nightmares she’s begun to have aren’t doing bears any favors.

They start in a dark forest. She knows the person running is Akamatsu because of the golden blond hair where moonlight catches. But as beautiful as Akamatsu is as always, she’s all the more striking from how her features are twisted in terror.

“No! No!”

She can’t run forever. The bears catch up eventually, and gobble her up, leaving blood all over the grass and her hands, her hands, all over her hands, she can even taste it in the air—

Maki’s woken up at this part more times than she can count. It’s always in a cold sweat, and her dislike of bears always increases each and every time this happens.

“Good morning, Harukawa-san.”

“...Good morning, Akamatsu.”

That beautiful smile fades for a bit and her mood worsens for it.

“Are you alright? You look...tired.” Akamatsu leans in, frowning with worry. “Did you have a rough night?”

“Mind your own business,” she snapped irritably. “Go back to smiling like an idiot. It’s what you do best.”

It’s the only way I feel alive sometimes.

“Ah,” Akamatsu ducks her head sheepishly. “Sorry, Harukawa-san. I’ll give you some space.”

No. Wait.

“I’ll go on ahead,” Akamatsu was saying. “I’ll see you in class.”

Wait, wait.

“See you, Harukawa-san.”

“...See you.”

Please, wait.

She’s so sick with irritation that she ends up sleeping in the nurse’s office. She takes medication for the migraine she has, and she glares at herself in the mirror as she fixes up her makeup to look more presentable.

“Harukawa-san?” Urgh. “Oh, Harukawa-san, you really shouldn’t twist your pretty face up like that.”

“Mind your own business, Shirogane.”

Shirogane giggles, but she nods. “Very well. I’ll focus more on my plain self than the pretty Harukawa-san.”

Urgh.

“But if I may, Harukawa-san,” she went on. “How are things going between you and Akamatsu-san? She seemed a little down today. She quite openly said it was because she was worried about you.”

Of course she did. Of course.

“Nosey,” she muttered, clipping her hair back.

“Ah, forgive me,” Shirogane said insincerely with a hand on her cheek. “I just worry when something’s happened between my dear, dear classmates. After all, life isn’t a manga where all drama can be tidied up with a pretty bow. Although nowadays stories don’t always guarantee emotional fulfillment by the end. It seems the ambiguous endings with several loose threads are what’s popular right now. Isn’t that sad? I miss when times were simpler.”

“I don’t care.”

“No, you don’t,” Shirogane replied, giggling. “Why would you ever care about a plain girl like me when you have Akamatsu-san? She really is quite lovely. Everyone can see how you look at her.”

She goes for one ponytail today instead of two because she just doesn’t have the time for this.

“Shirogane, please don’t approach me for the rest of the day,” she said, lowly and coldly. “There is no telling what I might do if you do.”

“Kyaaa, scary!” Shirogane squealed.

Maki turned on her heel and stomped away.

Thankfully, nothing more needed to be said. And she wasn’t approached. Sadly, her mood didn’t improve much, when Akamatsu spent that day laughing and chatting up a group of the guys. That idiot Momota seemed to have just as wide a grin as the one that Akamatsu wore.

Maki gritted her teeth.

Akamatsu is once again spending afterschool hours on the piano. She watches her from the window in the door, but she does not step into the room. Instead, she pulls back, and listens to Akamatsu play.

She’s listened to enough of Akamatsu’s playing to recognize this song. She’s listened to Akamatsu ramble on and on about music to know that it’s not from Chopin or Beethoven. The actual composer’s name is on the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t care that much to spend too much thought trying to figure it out.

She does remember the name, for sure. It’s German. Liebesfreud. Love’s Joy.

As always, Akamatsu plays beautifully.

As always.

It isn’t until Akamatsu leaves the piano to go fetch her bag that Maki hurries down the hall before she can be seen.

Another nightmare. Another cold morning.

Akamatsu waves at her. She glances back, returning the other’s stare. Akamatsu falters like a dimming, dying light, and drops her hand. Akamatsu looks away, but Maki does not. Not for a while, at least.

Even when she sits down in class, her eyes inevitably remain locked onto Akamatsu, who is very patiently but very irritably telling Iruma off. Akamatsu who offers a smile and a laugh, even as she trips over her words with Gonta.

Akamatsu does brighten up a little when talking to Amami, in part due to the other’s easygoing air. When Ouma starts being difficult, Akamatsu straightens up even more when scolding him.

Akamatsu meets her eyes. Her eyes narrow sharply, and politely, Akamatsu quickly looked away.

You really are perfect, aren’t you?

There’s an odd, unpleasant, despicable feeling rising up in her gut. One that she doesn’t want to name, but holds an intense dislike for regardless.

Shirogane smiles back at her briefly, and then she taps Akamatsu’s shoulder. Akamatsu turned to her, and Shirogane begins to talk about trivial frivolous matters. Hobbies and shopping. Stupid things like that.

Akamatsu is so animated when conversing. Akamatsu is beyond bright.

Maki’s fists are tight enough to burst.

“Ah, Maki.” Angie tapped her shoulder. She does not look, but she can feel the bright, innocent blue of her eyes blinking at her. “There’s such dark energy radiating off you. That’s no good.”

No good. No good at all.

“...I’m going to the nurse again,” she muttered darkly, and stood from her seat. Angie blinked up at her again, and simply nodded with a smile. Akamatsu does glance, but by then, she’s already out of the classroom.

She sleeps for the rest of the period. She gets sleeping medicine from the nurse, for good measure.

She spends the rest of the day in stoic silence, refusing conversation with anyone who tries to engage her. Angie, Shirogane, Saihara, Momota, Iruma, Ouma—what did they all matter? They weren’t Akamatsu.

“...Harukawa-san...”

“Akamatsu,” she returned coolly. She turns, and from the light filtering from the hallway window, Akamatsu’s soft features look sharper. “Yes?”

“Are you alright?” Akamatsu asked, frown deepening. “You seem...exhausted. Did something happen? Have you been having trouble sleeping?”

“I took medication,” she replied. “I should be fine.”

Akamatsu looked doubtful.

“You’ve still been behaving worryingly. We’re all worried about you, Harukawa-san.”

“That’s unnecessary,” she said.

“You’re a part of our class,” Akamatsu said simply, matter-of-factly. Maki looks at the band around Akamatsu’s arm. “You can’t expect us not to worry.”

“I can,” she said. “Just because we spend a lot of time in the same room does not mean we are close. I’ve been in the same room for long stretches of time with many people I wouldn’t consider myself close to.”

“Oh come on, Harukawa-san,” Akamatsu complained. “Aren’t we friends?”

Maki blinked. Once. Twice.

“Aren’t we friends, Maki—?”

She flinched.

“Harukawa-san...?” Akamatsu most definitely sounded worried as she rubbed furiously at her temple, eyes screwed shut, curled over and shaking. “Harukawa-san?!”

Akamatsu took her shoulders. Immediately, Maki shoved her off.

“...Don’t touch me.”

“A-Ah...” Akamatsu trembled, hand still outstretched, but then she pulled back, nodding before bowing her head. “Sorry...”

“...I’m...going to go, Akamatsu-san. I apologize.”

Maki turned on her heel and continued on her heel. And of course, even with the distance, she heard Akamatsu’s almost muted little murmur.

“...I’ll be seeing you...”

Akamatsu did not bother her at all the next morning. And when Maki glanced at her conversing with someone else, Akamatsu often shrugged her shoulders.

When people approached her, she was curt. So, they stopped. She was sleeping better anyway. So, she was less exhausted. Another day passed and she was feeling much, much better. She even said as much to anyone who still bothered to ask. And yet. And yet.

“...I’m sorry. For a few days ago.”

“Huh...?” Akamatsu perks up. She’s just putting her books away. She’s only staying behind because she needs to clean the classroom. That’s it. That’s all. “Oh, Harukawa-san, you don’t need to apologize for that.”

“I had a nightmare,” she said quietly. “I saw you die. It was troubling.”

Akamatsu blinks owlishly.

“Sometimes I think you’re reckless,” she went on, shaking just a little. “Sometimes, I think...you’re so reckless that you’d throw yourself in front of someone about to get shot. Or push someone out of the way of a car and get hit yourself. Something...like that.”

“Those are the kinds of things you worry about, Harukawa-san?” Akamatsu asked. “I...”

“It’s stupid,” she huffed. “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” Akamatsu said instead. Her smile is sad and apologetic. The world looks all the fuzzier for it. “I don’t want to worry you like that, so I’ll try to be more careful, then. More patient. I’ve been thinking that pushiness and impatience could very easily get myself killed or hurt one day. Haha.”

Maki blinks back. She says nothing. Akamatsu has the prettiest blush.

“If I’m worrying someone like you, I really must be overdoing something. I really am sorry, Haruka...”

Akamatsu’s cheeks are soft and warm against her hands. Her lips are softer and warmer against her own. Akamatsu is still, but all the same, she holds her face steadily. And then, slowly, she pulls away.

“...You really have too much faith in others, Kaede.”

And then she kisses her again. Kaede takes her arms and pulls her closer.

“Harukawa-san...”

“Maki.”

“Maki-san...”

“Just Maki.”

“Maki...”

“Hmm?”

“Mmm...”

Kaede shivers as she nips at her neck. Her pianist fingers brush against her cheek and she paused briefly to nuzzle at her hand. Kaede lets out a breathless giggle of sorts.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve only dreamt about this with you, Maki,” she sighs out. “I’m glad. I’m definitely glad you feel the same way.”

Maki blinks once, and Kaede pulls her into another kiss.

“...I’m glad,” Maki finally responded as they parted. Kaede’s smile is blinding. The world is so much brighter, so much sweeter for it.

...but. Something still feels...

“Maki-chan,” Kaede purred, caressing her cheek and jaw. She flinched, stilled, and then.

“Just Maki.”

Kaede is the one blinking at her, but then she smiled again and nodded.

“Okay, Maki.”

She’s pulled into another kiss.

It was everything she ever wanted, and yet.

Something’s wrong. I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

Maki feels her flushed cheeks afterwards, after they’ve parted completely and Kaede waved goodbye so cheerfully. As Maki walks, passing by several windows, stepping in orange light after shadow after orange after shadow—her mind is buzzing. It’s as though something is bubbling.

Something’s wrong. But what? What?

Why don’t I remem—

Maki stops. And then, quite viciously, she shook her head.

It doesn’t matter.

With Kaede, things feel perfect. With Kaede, things feel right. That’s all there was to it.

“Maki!” Kaede latched onto her first thing, arms looping tightly around her waist as she nuzzled into her shoulder. “Good morning!”

“...Kaede.” She nodded, and she pats Kaede’s cheek in return. “You seem excitable. Why?”

“Mm? Isn’t it obvious?” Kaede laughed. “I’m happy to see you, Maki!”

“It is the start of the school day. We are in front of the school building. Of course you would see me.”

Kaede puffs her cheeks out, pouting but pulling away all the same with a dramatic sigh.

“I shouldn’t even be surprised.”

Still, Kaede takes her hand and squeezes it tightly. Of course, Maki squeezed in return.

“...Good morning, Kaede.”

Kaede grinned, looking all the more radiant with how the sunshine caught in her hair, highlighting the pretty pink of her cheeks. And then, Kaede none too gently yanked her forward.

Kaede is talking with Toujou about organizing some event. She notices Maki’s staring, and waves at her cheerfully before going right back to the conversation. She chats animatedly, with enthusiastic gesturing, all while Toujou keeps her hands folded demurely and only gives polite nods with her calm replies.

“Akamatsu-san seems to be in a much better mood,” Saihara comments from beside her. “That’s good. I’m glad you and her made up, Harukawa-san.”

“So you noticed,” she replied idly, not surprised but still giving him a sharp look. Saihara did shrink back almost apologetically, did duck his head so that his long bangs hid his gaze from hers.

“Ah, yes...”

For something with such a keen sense of perception, he really was...meek.

Momota was trying to help break him out of that shell.

“You should keep to yourself,” Maki said simply.

She didn’t care much either way.

“Sorry, Harukawa-san.”

“Isn’t that a bit too snippy of you, Harukawa-san?” Amami asked. Her eyes narrowed as Saihara flustered the slightest bit as Amami hummed over his shoulder. Despite that, Saihara didn’t shrink in on himself as he usually did. Even as Amami went on that, “Saihara-kun was just showing concern for his classmates. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No,” she replied. “But I would rather not be engaged.”

“So cold! Ah, but, I understand.” Amami gave a calm, easy smile. “We can’t all be Akamatsu-san. You know, Harukawa-san, it’s unhealthy to limit yourself to one person.”

“That’s none of your concern.” Her voice hardens. “Not at all.”

“Amami-kun,” Saihara muttered to him. “It’s fine.”

She saw how his eyes darted, from her to Amami to Akamatsu. Akamatsu who was currently smiling widely and nodding enthusiastically. Momota was saying something, to which she agreed, with pumped up fists and a shining confidence. Toujou simply cleared her throat.

“Oh,” Shirogane says, turning in their direction. Ouma perks up, blinking at them tiredly, with a flicker of mischief in his eyes as he straightened up from where he’d been lying his head on the desk. Shirogane’s grin was wide, with gleaming light reflected off her glasses. “Is there something you all were thinking?”

“Saihara-kun?” Kaede wonders, head tilting. “Amami-kun?”

“Ah, no, sorry,” Saihara said quickly. Amami shook his head apologetically.

Maki held her stare, and said nothing. Kaede’s smile didn’t fade.

“Well,” she said. “We can continue this discussion some other time. The teacher should be back pretty soon.”

“Ah, Maki...”

Maki didn’t say anything then, either, arms tightening around Kaede’s waist, face buried in the back of her shoulder.

“Nightmares again?” Kaede asked, softly and carefully. “Hey, Maki... What do you say about staying over at my place tonight?”

“Already?” Maki asked, the word muffled against the dark blue fabric of her uniform. “You move fast, Kaede.”

“What do you mean?” Kaede was grinning. She could hear it in her voice. “As far as anyone else is concerned, this is just a friendly little sleepover between friends.”

In the orange light of sunset, Kaede’s smile is almost cloaked in sharp shadow.

Maki snorted, and kissed her quickly.

“Don’t be idiotic, Akamatsu Kaede.”

Kaede simply giggled.

“No one else is here, but please don’t hesitate to make yourself at home, Maki!”

“Wow, you really do move fast.”

“W-We’re not doing anything like that now! As you said, it’s way too soon! I was just joking earlier, Maki, jeez...”

“Funny. I don’t remember saying that.”

Maki slipped off her shoes, tucking them into the corner.

Kaede shot her an unimpressed glare, cheeks puffed and pink. She raised her hands, but Kaede turned with a huff. All the same, she followed Kaede further inside.

It was a lovely, modest little home. Modest size, modest decoration, pictures laid out. A piano in the corner. Of course. It was clean, of course.

Maki stole a passing glance at the photos. There was one of a couple smiling, the woman carrying a bundle in her arms. And then, a tiny Kaede beamed back, pulling on a sunhat, locked into the embrace of that same woman, and Maki stilled.

...Huh...?

“Maki? Is something wrong?”

No...

“No,” she said, forcing herself forward, stomping that bubbling feeling under her heel. “No, it’s nothing.”

Kaede blinked at her curiously, tying her hair back and rolling up her sleeves. Soon, she smiled, slipping on an apron.

“There’s another one hanging up over there,” she said, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the other apron. It’s gingham, red and yellow. “If you want to help, the option’s there. I’m only somewhat decent at cooking, but I’m sure I can...”

Maki snatched the apron.

“I’m not taking any chances.”

“Okay, okay.”

Kaede, for what it was worth, could follow instructions fairly well. She was focused and careful to not injure her fingers. A good thing. Kaede was a musician, after all.

There was still a bit of time before the rice cooker finished. Maki stirred as Kaede hummed.

There was a ding, and Kaede began to scoop the rice into bowls as Maki poured the soup into cups. They both set the table, and sent a prayer before starting their meal.

“I was right,” Kaede remarked after her first bite. She gave an almost cheeky grin. “You’re a wonderful cook, Maki.”

“I’ve cooked for the other children on multiple occasions,” Maki pointed out. She blew off the steam of her tea. “So, this isn’t that surprising.”

“No, I guess not,” Kaede replied, still grinning widely and idiotically. “But it’s not just that you’re experienced. You put a lot of love into your meals, Maki.”

Maki gave her a look and made a meaningless sound. “Hm.”

“It’s true,” she insisted, a bit exasperated. “It’s one of the things I love about you.”

...love...

“Alright.” She took a bite of her own food and left it at that. The food just tasted like food. Kaede continued to eat as well, and the silence dragged on.

It could have used more salt. Maki thought idly at another bite. She took another sip. I could have let this tea boil for longer. The flavor is a bit weak.

“Mm...” Kaede didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. If anything, when she finished, she let out a satisfied sigh. “Delicious. Thank you, Maki.”

Maki set aside her empty bowl, glancing briefly at her empty teacup.

“...It was nothing.”

Kaede gathered up the dishes to wash, and she poured them more tea for the time being.

It’s too weak, she thought. I should have boiled it longer.

The water was running from the sink. Kaede was humming as she scrubbed. Maki hoped that she wouldn’t use dish soap to wash her hands. After all, that’d irritate them.

It’s too weak.

She noticed that there had been tea stalks in Kaede’s cup. She wondered if any of them had been floating upright. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Too weak.

She pours Kaede another cup. She blinks, and stares hard enough to stare holes. Nothing is afloat.

“Oh, Maki,” she heard Kaede say as the other returned. Her footsteps are light pads against the floorboards. “You didn’t have to, but thank you.”

“...It was nothing.”

Kaede once again seated herself across. Kaede smiled at her. The world was bright, she heard the ticking of the clock, and despite how weak it was the tea was still fragrant.

It was pleasant. It was nice.

She breathed. Something bubbled.

This is a painful kind of familiar.

“My father’s been working so much that he just sleeps there,” Kaede said, lightly, like it was a joke. Only it was still too heavy. “Still, I can take care of myself just fine, and I can’t imagine how difficult it’d be on you in comparison.”

“It’s not that difficult,” she replied. “The children may be rowdy but they can all be behaved. They listen to me better than their foster parents, sometimes. Their foster parents...are kind to me as well. Very kind. I’m much luckier than I used to be.”

Kaede’s smile twisted.

“Besides,” she went on, almost vacantly. “You have a lot of duties as the class representative. Everyone in our class relies on you, Kaede. In comparison, I do my best to not get involved.”

“And that’s a shame!” Kaede exclaimed. “Our classmates all like you, Maki, and they just want to be your friend.”

Maki huffed, and she backpedaled.

“Well, maybe not all of them. You know how Iruma-san and Ouma-kun are, haha.” She rubbed at the back of her neck sheepishly. “But people like Saihara-kun, Momota-kun, Shirogane-san... They’re just trying to be friendly, I’m sure.”

“I don’t have any interest in them either way.” I only care about you. Just you.

“But isn’t that unhealthy?”

She crushed those words into the ground, twisting her metaphorical heel into them. Remembering Amami’s easy smile only irritated her further.

“You shouldn’t say such things.” Kaede was pouting at her. “Making lots of friends is very important.”

But I feel empty inside. She wanted to reply. She almost wanted to scream. I feel empty and vacant around anyone who isn’t you.

So who could I stand to be around but you?

...Huh...?

Why does that sound...?

“...Maki?” Kaede tilted her head. Maki shivered. “Is... Is something wrong...?”

“No...no, it’s nothing.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Kaede.”

Kaede blinked once, uncertain, but tentatively nodded.

“...If you say so...”

They finish up the tea soon enough.

There’s a bookmarked page in Kaede’s worn book of sheet music. She turns to it, and begins to play. The top of the page reads Peer Gynt Suite Op. 46 No. 1 “Morning Mood.”

She’s heard this song before countless times in countless things. Somehow, hearing Kaede play it on the piano is different from all those times. It’s a serene sound. A nostalgic one.

Painful.

“...Ah, sorry,” Kaede apologizes, pausing in her playing. She must have noticed how Maki’s face twisted up. “I was told this was my mother’s favorite song, so I try to play it often. I still don’t like it as much as Clair de Lune. Or Moonlight Sonata, for that matter. The Farewell Waltz, maybe.”

“I see.”

“I used to fall asleep to my mom playing piano,” Kaede went on. “I’m pretty sure she’s why I love it as much as I do.”

Painful.

“What happened to her?” she asked.

“She was eaten by bears when I was little.” Maki blinked. Kaede continued. “We used to live in the mountains. My father used to be a hunter, but...after that, we moved. I don’t remember much else, but it was definitely really, really upsetting.”

She didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Not really.

Kaede’s fingers pressed down upon the keys. The sound was echoing, in that modest little house, in her head, in her ringing ears.

She and Kaede slept close together that night. Kaede was clingy in her sleep. Kaede was also warm, so warm.

Despite that, Maki felt cold. Very, very cold.

She didn’t know what else to do, so she simply pulled Kaede closer, held her tightly in return, and squeezed her eyes just as tightly shut.

Despite everything, unsurprisingly, life carried on normally for a while. School days passed as they always did, she and Kaede spent a lot more time together, either in Kaede’s empty little house or Maki’s smaller, emptier dorm. All things considered, this should have been everything she ever wanted. She should’ve felt completely, utterly, and absolutely fulfilled.

Why do I still feel empty?

Isn’t it obvious?

“Harukawa-san.” How long has she been standing at the mirror, staring at her reflection? Long enough for even Toujou to speak up, it seemed. “Harukawa-san, are you alright?”

“It’s nothing. This is nothing.”

“If you need anyone to talk to,” Toujou went on. “Neither Shirogane-san nor I mind.”

“I don’t,” she said. “I don’t need anyone.”

“...If that is what you insist.”

She quickly turned on her heel, brushing past, brushing irritated fingers through her hair as she did. She walked and walked, glanced outside to see some of her classmates laughing. Chabashira was lifting Yumeno up in the air. Ouma seemed to be bullying Gonta into doing the same. Yonaga seemed to be bow-legged and praying, with Shinguuji seated close by, likely watching them all so curiously.

She walked on and on. She passed by the library. Amami had dozed off upon Saihara’s shoulder, and Saihara was making a face but also making no motion to stir. Saihara did, however, perk up. She walked on before their eyes could meet, doing them both a favor.

I don’t need anyone. I don’t. Need anyone.

Kaede would be practicing again. This time, she recognizes the song.

Chopin. Étude in A minor, Op 25 No.11, “Le vent d'hiver - Winter Wind.”

She steps inside. Kaede perked up, and turned to her with a smile.

“Good afternoon, Maki.”

She shuffled her feet, and nodded.

“Good afternoon.”

When did this emptiness start? How long has it been? I wouldn’t know the answer for that for sure, but...

She does remember. She was really young, but also really, really troubled. She caused so many problems that she had to be bounced around until she came across a pair who had been willing to put up with her. Willing to be patient and kind. Willing to stroke her hair and tell her it was okay over and over after she woke them up with her screaming.

She still hadn’t believed them. She still felt empty, but, she hadn’t fallen apart, either. For that, she was grateful. For that, she threw herself into helping them care for the other children there. Cooking, cleaning, even singing those children to sleep when necessary. She had to show her gratitude. She had to show her worth. She had to scrub her hands clean until the blood came out—

“Maki.” She snapped out of it, blinking blearily at the various flavors of ice cream. They still blurred together into a swirling, swirling mess. “Which one do you want, Maki?”

“Praline.”

“Praline and maple, please!” Kaede chirped, bouncing on her heels. Maki glanced towards her, lips twisting, as Kaede pulled out some notes to pay with. “Thank you very much.”

She turned to find a place to sit, picking a table by the window. Kaede soon came by with both their bowls, setting them out and once again taking the seat across from her.

“Aah, mmm!” Kaede squealed with muffled delight as she took a bite. “So sweet! It’s true! When you’re with someone you love, ice cream tastes sweeter!”

“Where did you hear that?” Maki asked dully, taking a bite of her own. At the taste, her eyes narrowed, brow furrowing.

Kaede laughed. “It’s really sweet, isn’t it?”

Maki scoffed, and looked away with an irritated blush. “S-So what if it is?”

“Lemme taste!”

“Urgh, so noisy.”

She did scoop up a spoonful of her ice cream, however, and stuck it into Kaede’s waiting mouth. Kaede did the same with her ice cream, and Maki took the bite without complaint. It’s an indirect kiss, of course, but with how much spit-swapping the two of them do, it really, really isn’t that notable.

“Mm, Maki... Your ice cream is so sweet...”

“Yours is sweeter.”

Kaede giggled at that. “I think you’re wrong. Maki’s is way, way sweeter.”

Maki frowned, and she huffed. She returned to nibbling at her treat.

“...it’s pointless to argue...”

Kaede grinned cheekily but she resumed eating as well.

Maki eats every bite of ice cream. If anything, it’s as though she inhaled it like she had been starving for a while.

“What else do you want to do?” Kaede asked when they finished. “There’s a new movie showing. I’m curious about it. Let’s go seeing.”

“As long as we’re together,” Maki said, throwing their trash away.

“Flatterer,” Kaede said good-naturedly.

Maki just latched onto her arm.

Their date goes very, very well. The movie was...tolerable, but Kaede’s reactions to it were precious and endearing. Kaede was still chatting about it animatedly afterwards, all while Maki squeezed her hand.

Everything felt perfect. Everything felt right.

It feels like...destiny.

“Ah, Maki, someone might...mm...”

Maki deepens their next kiss.

“Maki... Maki... Ah, hah...”

Kaede’s pianist fingers slip up her shirt.

“...weren’t you worried about someone seeing?” she asked. Kaede just giggles against her lips.

“Mm, well, it is dark...and people don’t tend to look around dark corners...” She kissed the corner of Maki’s mouth. “So, I think we’re fine. If not, we can chase off anyone who dares to peek.”

Maki nodded.

“Of course.”

They don’t get that far, of course. But it does get heavy between the kisses and the petting, and Kaede pants, face flushed and lips forming an o as Maki kisses down her neck.

“Maki, Maki... Ah... God...”

“Kaede...”

“So good... Haha...” Kaede purrs. “Why does it feel so good?”

Maki answered without thinking.

“Because we are meant to be together, Kaede.”

“Meant to be, huh...” Kaede blinked, and then she perked up. “Hey... Maki...”

Maki’s running her fingers through golden blond hair, humming.

“Maki... Do I...know you...?”

Her fingers stop. The world stops.

“...Maki...?” Kaede’s blinking those pretty purple eyes up at her, and then. They look so much wider and brighter in the darkness of the alleyway. “No... Maki-chan...?”

Maki pulled back.

“Maki-chan...” Kaede breathed, and then, “How could I forget?”

Maki turned and ran, even as Kaede called and screamed her name.

“Now, Maki-chan, please understand that we’ve been very patient with you.”

“It’s really difficult, isn’t it? Living in a house that cramped... So, it makes sense if...”

“If you can’t help but act out sometimes. But, see...”

“Being anti-social and a bit curt is one thing. But you can’t push the other children, Maki-chan.”

“Violence is unacceptable, Maki-chan. It’s so unsightly.”

“You’re a young lady, shouldn’t ladies be gentler?”

“Maki-chan...”

“Maki-chan, are you listening?”

Her tiny hands fisted hard into the edge of her dress. Cheeks puffed, head down, she didn’t say a word.

I...

“Maki-chan,” the other caretaker said, sounding increasingly irritated. “Don’t you understand?”

“Maki-chan,” the other-other caretaker said in a voice that was meant to be soft, but only sounded cold. “You’ve done a very, very bad thing.”

I was just...

“Teacher, I don’t think she did a bad thing.”

Maki snapped up and then, a chubby-cheeked blond girl stepped up, speaking more clearly, more firmly.

“I don’t think Maki-chan meant anything wrong or mean. Because...the slide had just been repainted, right? So Maki-chan was pushing everyone who tried to slide down it, because she didn’t want them getting paint on themselves.” And then, that girl smiled at her so brightly that it huts Maki’s eyes. “Right, Maki-chan?”

Kaede-chan always understands.

“Ri... Right... That’s...right. What Kaede-chan says...is right.”

That’s why she’s the only one I can stand to be around.

“Oh, Maki-chan,” one of them sighed. “You still should have told us.”

Kaede gripped her hand.

“Well... I suppose we can let it slide for now,” the other said. “But next time, Maki-chan, tell us. We’re here to help; you can trust us.”

She couldn’t. Not really. And with the way Kaede squeezed her hand, she felt that she, at least, understood.

And so the two of them walked out together, hand in hand all the while.

“Both teachers are nice but they’re scary when mad,” Kaede was saying. “So I understand if you didn’t want to say anything to them, Maki-chan.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Maki retorted. “I’m just...used to doing things on my own. That’s what was expected of me back at the house...”

“Maki-chan’s so responsible,” Kaede replied, grinning brightly. “But you can rely on me too, if you want. After all, we’re friends. Aren’t we friends, Maki-chan?”

She reddened. But of course, Kaede just bounced on ahead like she hadn’t really said anything that notable.

“Maki-chan, let’s play on the swings!”

“...ah...alright.”

That was the kind of relationship they had, in the beginning. That kind of easy relationship that only children can have.

Things can’t ever be that easy anymore.

“Maki!”

Kaede’s grip on her arm is unforgivingly tight. Kaede is panting, chest heaving, face flushed from exertion and from before, but her grip only tightens even as the pull she gives is more desperate than anything.

“...Maki... Do you not...remember me...? We... We were kids... I mean... We were really young, but...we were close and we were friends, and...”

“Stop.” Kaede does. “That doesn’t matter. None of that matters. So don’t...bring it up anymore, Kaede.”

“...Why...?” Kaede sounds breathless. “What’s wrong? Maki-cha—”

“It’s just Maki.”

“...Maki,” Kaede corrected herself with a stiff nod. “I...don’t understand. What’s wrong? What happened? So what if we knew each other as kids? What’s the big deal?”

“It’s...” Here, Maki trails off. Maki hesitates.

Despite everything, Kaede seemed to understand.

“You don’t remember everything either,” she said. “In that case, then...it really doesn’t matter. Still, I don’t get why you’re making a big deal out of this.”

I don’t get it either. But...something’s wrong. Something’s off. It’s unsettling. It’s despairing.

“Kaede...” She stops, but there’s a warning tone to her voice. Then, she huffed. “Look. I just... I...”

Running through the woods, screaming for help.

She trailed off. “I...”

“Help me! Please! Help!”

She hesitated. “I...just...”

“Mom! MOM!!! No! No!”

“...no...”

And then, the bears catch up, gobble her up, leaving blood all

over

“...Maki...?”

Kaede squeezed her shoulders, Kaede gave her a careful shake. A shudder went down Maki’s spine.

So that’s what it was. So that’s all it ever was.

“Maki, what’s...wrong? You blanked out for a moment? Did you...remem...?”

Maki shoved her away.

“...stay away from me.” She stepped back, trembling all over. “You should...stay away from me. Kaede, I... I’m sorry. I’ve been...so careless...”

“I don’t understand,” Kaede returned with, pleading. “Maki, what’s wrong?”

I’ve been so careless.

“It’s for the best if we don’t discuss things further,” she found herself saying. “It’s for the best if you just let it go.”

I’ve been such an empty person since. Until I met you again.

“Maki,” Kaede spoke, a fire lighting in her eyes. “If something’s bothering you, you need to tell me. Aren’t we friends?”

Maki said nothing.

“We’re definitely pretty close,” Kaede went on, almost scathingly. “So close in fact that I thought we were dating.”

“You thought that?” Maki asked, quietly. Blankly.

“Why wouldn’t I?!” Kaede demanded, high-pitched and utterly annoyed. “We kissed, Maki! Many, many times! Not to mention, the way we spoke to one another, the way we looked at one another!”

We’ve been attracted to one another from the start. It feels so much like fate.

If we’re anything, we’re soulmates.

“...This might have been...” Maki took a deep breath, and then, “This might have been a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Kaede repeated incredulously.

Mutely, she nodded.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding. What even the hell, Maki?!”

“Your mother loved piano as you did,” Maki said blankly. “But you’ll never get to hear her play. Even now, every time you play the piano, your heart aches when you remember that.”

“What?” Kaede recoiled. “What...does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” she asked.

“I don’t understand,” Kaede said and her voice quivered. “Maki, what the hell are you talking about?”

Maki doesn’t answer.

“Maki!”

Still nothing.

Kaede softens, even as distress causes her frown to deepen.

“Maki,” she says, quieter and fearful. “I really, really don’t understand. What’s going on? What did you remember? So what if we knew each other when we were kids? So what? I just... I don’t understand...”

Kaede trembles, both her shoulders and her grip.

“...You’re scaring me,” she says and her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. “Please...you have to tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me so much, Maki.”

Maki sighed.

“Your mother,” she said. “She... I remember meeting her. She was...very nice. A lot like you. You really, really admired her. You talked about her a lot. The two of you were really close.”

“I know all that,” Kaede snapped, rolling her eyes. “I don’t remember it but I know it. Dad used to say that a lot. I emulated her even though I don’t remember her. Or...so Dad said, too...”

Silence.

“...what does that have to do with anything?” she asked. “Was Mom having an affair or something? You’re really acting weird, Maki.”

Maki swallowed.

“...Can you please let me go, Kaede?”

Kaede stilled. Her face went slack.

She let go.

“...it’s for the best if we don’t discuss things further,” Maki said and she pulled away completely. “I’m sorry, Kaede. Farewell.”

She walked away. And Kaede did not follow her nor call after her.

All the same, Maki felt as though she left her very heart behind.

Maki didn’t go to school the next day, and she didn’t answer the door either. The following day, she remained in bed, ignoring even her ringing phone. Eventually, her phone died and she didn’t bother charging it.

There were knocks on her door. She continued to not answer them.

She could hear muffled yelling. She could tell who it was.

“...ki...! Maki...!” Kaede sounded both distressed and exasperated. “Come on, Maki, you have to talk to me!”

No, she didn’t.

“...At least answer the door so I can give you your notes and assignments,” Kaede said, sighing. “Toujou-san helped write them. Shirogane-san asked about you. Saihara-kun and Momota-kun did, too.”

A pause.

“...we don’t have to discuss things,” she went on, and there was the slightest tremor in the words. “Or, do you...just not want to see me anymore?”

Hearing Kaede sound like that hurt beyond words. Because of that, Maki couldn’t bear to respond.

She simply curled in on herself.

“...I’ll give you more time,” Kaede finally said. “You don’t have to talk to me. You don’t have to see me if it’s difficult. You’re a coward, Maki, but... I’ll respect that for now.”

She did, at least, have the decency to flinch at that.

“I love you, Maki. Best regards.”

Maki trembled as that was that.

She did charge her phone. It had blown up with texts. She now has more reasons to very sincerely regret giving Momota her number for their group project because he must have passed it around to the whole class.

Not all of them texted her, but enough of them did that she was scrolling through them for quite some time. Still, most of the texts she scrolled through were, of course, Kaede’s.

Shirogane had texted a few times, too.

“Hello, Harukawa-san! It’s plain ol’ me checking up on you! Akamatsu-san said you were having a tough time. If you want to plainly discuss things, I’m open!”

As had Angie.

“God is looking out for you, even if you don’t pray!”

And Chabashira.

“If something’s troubling you, we can train together, Harukawa-san! Himiko also has some rejuvenating spells!”

...speaking of Yumeno.

“Nyeh. Sorry. I don’t have enough mana to cast a rejuvenating spell over text. But I’m still wishing you well, HaruMaki.”

Of course, Saihara and Momota had also texted her.

“If you wanted to discuss anything, Harukawa-san, I’m always open.”

“Yo, HaruMaki! Have you tried training? You have to train to fight your enemies, even if your enemy is yourself!”

It really was...irritating.

...they’re all such good, troublesome people.

Maki rolled onto her back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

If they knew the truth... Would they still act this way?

There’s no way she could believe that they would.

“W-What?! Stop glaring at me like thaaaaat, Hoekawa! J-Just take your stupid things! It’s not like I wanted to be here, you know! You should be flattered! S-Super flattered! After all, your presence is being blessed by a goddess...!”

“Are you done?”

Iruma squeaked and practically threw the binder and notebooks into her hand.

“W-What the hell does Bakamatsu even see in you?!” she hissed. “Y-You’re concave... And have an ugly bitch face to match your ugly bitch personality!”

Maki simply held them close as Iruma went on.

“Y-You know... Bakamatsu and the others are...w-worried about you...”

“I do know,” Maki snapped, making Iruma flinch back, looking near fearful tears. “Iruma, you can go now.”

“B-But...” Iruma shrunk in on herself. “B-But I...had an invention, you see... And you’re the only person who hasn’t seen it... It’s like...super relaxing...”

Maki sighed.

Iruma was fiddling with her fingers.

“...I’m sorry,” Maki said quietly, head ducked. “I’m just...not in the mood for any of this...”

“Later, then...?” Iruma asked meekly.

“Later,” Maki agreed, and slammed the door in her face.

There were friendly messages written in her notebook. A lot from Momota, unsurprisingly. Though Toujou and Amami had written a few as well.

She didn’t read them, instead flipping through her notes.

She stopped, however, upon seeing that someone had doodled a lily onto one of the pages. It was messy, a little rough...and it wasn’t signed with a signature but a few music notes.

Maki shut her notebook with a sigh.

“...Kaede...”

“Kaede-chan,” she spoke up. “What song is that?”

“Morning Mood!” Kaede answered happily. “It’s Mom’s favorite song! Isn’t it pretty, Maki?”

Maki blinked as she watched Kaede’s chubby fingers dance over the keys. She hit a few of them too hard, sticking her tongue out to focus. Maki blinked a few more times, and made an unimpressed face.

“I like the other ones better.”

“Ehhh? Really?” Kaede stopped playing to stare at her with wide eyes. “But this one...sounds like spring, don’t you think?’

“...I don’t hear spring,” Maki said, brow furrowed.

“Y-You don’t?!”

“That’s what I just said.”

Kaede whined at her, and Maki pouted right back.

And the door jingled as it opened.

“Kaede! Sweetie!”

“Mom!”

Kaede pulled away to go bouncing into her mother’s arms. Maki watched them blankly, envious...

And resentful.

“Were you good today?” Kaede’s mother asked with a coo. Kaede nodded happily.

“Mm, mm! Maki-chan, I’ll be seeing you!”

“...Kay...” Maki pressed silently on one of the keys. “I guess... I’ll walk home, then.”

I only stick around to be with Kaede-chan. There’s nothing else waiting for me besides a house that’s already too full.

“Oh, is that really alright, Maki-chan?” Kaede’s mother asked worriedly. “It’s getting pretty cold out. It’s almost winter. Why don’t you let me drive you home?”

“Yeah!” Kaede chirped. She hopped out of her mother’s embrace to tug at Maki’s hand. “Or you can just go home with me! We have a big forest in the backyard. It’s really pretty!”

...a forest...like in a fairy tale...

“...Is that alright, Kaede’s mother?”

“Aha, I don’t see why not,” she giggled. “As long as it’s alright with your parents, Maki-chan.”

“They’re not...really my parents...” Maki trailed off. “They just watch me and the other kids. That’s all.”

“Ehhh? Is that so? But I’m sure they really care about you, Maki-chan.”

Maki shrugged.

“...maybe...don’t wanna talk about this anymore...” Her fingers entwine with Kaede. “I’d rather listen to Kaede-chan ramble about the piano.”

“Ah, really?! There’s so much to ramble about! Chopin... B... Beethoven...! Liech...!”

“Liszt,” her mother corrected kindly. Excitedly, Kaede nodded over and over.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

“You’re a freak,” Maki droned, and Kaede just laughed.

“Yep!”

Maki did smile at that, and pressed her forehead to Kaede’s before they went off together and she listened to Kaede chatter on and on as her mother would only sometimes interject to correct.

She still preferred Kaede’s presence on its own, but she hadn’t minded Kaede’s mother that much.

She was, however, still envious. Envious and resentful, especially when she thought of her own guardians.

They really didn’t care that much. But it wasn’t their fault. Not really. She couldn’t blame them for not wanting to take care of a surly, unruly child. Especially when that same child would kill someone later.

Kaede’s house was small yet welcoming. Kaede’s father greeted his wife, and Kaede pulled her around by the hand.

Her eyes caught onto the rifle that belonged to Kaede’s father.

“Apparently there are bears in the forest behind our house,” Kaede said. “My parents say to stay away but I don’t see why. I like the forest. It’s big and magical...like a fairy tale!”

“Like a fairy tale,” Maki agreed with a nod. “You don’t have to worry about bears, Kaede-chan.”

She gripped Kaede’s hands and squeezed.

“I’ll protect you, so...there’s nothing to worry about.”

Kaede blinked those pretty eyes back at her. Pretty. Pretty. Kaede’s always so pretty.

Kaede-chan is like light.

“I’ll protect you,” Maki swore. “Absolutely.”

Kaede beamed. Like light.

“I know you will, Maki-chan!”

She slept fitfully, waking up in a cold sweat afterwards. It wasn’t a surprise. She’d been plagued with nightmares of blood and bears for several days straight.

“...Urgh...” She felt disgusting. But still so despondent as she shakily pushed herself off and went into the bathroom to wash her face. She glanced, for a moment, at her reflection.

Mussed, dark hair. Dark, haunting red eyes. Pale skin. Darker shadows.

Kaede once called this face cute.

Maki squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

And another knock on her door.

Ugh.

“Harukawa-chaaaaaan!”

Ugh. Seriously?

Out of all the fucking people—

“I have no interest in speaking with you.” She didn’t even miss a beat as she walked up to the door. “Leave the premises.”

“Eh? Eh? So cruel! You haven’t even unlocked the door! Ah, well, when are you accepting visitors again? It needs to be soon because I kiiiiiind of have urgent matters that gotta be discussed with you.”

“And why is that your concern, Ouma?” she asked scathingly.

“Hmmm... Well...” She heard that infuriating giggle of his. “It’s because I care about you soooooo much! That’s a lie! Oof! Ow... Bit my tongue...”

“If you’re just here to annoy me, you should leave.” Her tone sharpened. “Unless you want me to hurt you.”

“Waaaah! Scaryyy!” A pause. A sigh. “Well, that calls for the secret weapon, then. See, I wasn’t actually lying about urgent matters... And see, I am a man of my word when it comes to making promises. Even I’m not evil enough to lie when making a promise.”

Maki’s brow furrowed. What the hell is he...?

And then she froze when the door clicked open. Before she could even react, to lunge forward and strangle him for even daring, she seized up at the sight of Ouma stepping aside so that Kaede could walk inside.

“...Sorry for deceiving you, Maki.” Kaede nodded at her, and then glanced back at a grinning Ouma. “Thank you for...the help, Ouma-kun.”

“Anything for my dearest Akamatsu-chan!” he chirped. “Ah, well, that’s my cue to skedaddle. Before Harukawa-chan tries to murder me!”

That word choice stung and she wondered if Ouma knew. He always seemed to know, but...

It didn’t matter now. Ouma ran off and Kaede shut the door after he did. It was just her and Kaede, now.

Maki trembled a bit.

“...I talked to my dad,” Kaede said. “It... It took a while for my calls to get through... But when they did, I got him to explain...what happened to mom.”

Maki flinched. Kaede looked at her, and stepped closer.

“...Maki...” Kaede was speaking so softly, so calmly. “Were you really carrying that on your shoulders this whole time?”

Maki stepped back, still shaking.

“You shouldn’t...come near your mother’s killer, Kaede.”

“Oh, Maki...” Kaede sighed and reached out, wrapping her arms tightly around Maki’s shoulders. “I’m so, so sorry you went through that.”

It was warm. Sweet. Comforting. Kaede’s body against her own—

Maki shoved her away. Kaede landed with a thud and a yelp.

“M-Maki...?”

Maki saw a flash of Kaede, crumpled and helpless in the snow. At the mercy of bears.

Maki’s breath caught, and she swallowed.

Kaede blinked up at her.

“Ma... Maki...”

“Ma... Maki-chan...”

The forest was more big and vast than Maki had imagined. So big and vast, in fact, that it swallowed them up.

“I-I... I don’t actually...” Kaede clung to her back. “I don’t know where we are...”

“It’s okay. I’ll protect you.” Maki bounced the rifle in her grip. “I even...brought a weapon! So I’ll definitely protect you, Kaede-chan!”

Kaede nodded, sniffling.

“M-Mm...”

They kept walking, hand in hand, in a large and uncertain forest.

“I’ve never gotten lost, before...” Kaede mumbled. “But I do get lost when playing the piano...or when talking to Maki-chan...”

“I feel that way only when I’m with Kaede-chan,” Maki said. “But it’ll be okay. I’ll protect you, Kaede-chan.”

“Mm...”

It was cold. Cold enough that snow crunched under their feet, that their red fingers gripped one another for dear life. They pressed close together, and after a while, they sat down against a tree.

“Hah... Hah...” Kaede’s heavy breaths were visible, her shoulders shaking as she tried to press even closer for warmth. Maki did the same. “Maki-chan... It’s scary, but... A-At least we’re not alone... We’ll get out of here together, right? Because we’re best friends.”

Maki nodded, and then, Kaede slumped a bit.

“Maki-chan... I love you...”

“...Kaede-chan...?” Maki blinked once and shook her shoulders. “Kaede-chan. Kaede!?”

“...sorry... I’m really sleepy,” Kaede mumbled, shivering. “When I wake up...maybe we’ll be safe...”

“Kaede, if you sleep like this you’ll die!” she exclaimed, gripping Kaede’s shoulders and shaking her more frantically. “Don’t you understand?! You’ll die! Do you want to die?! Stay with me, please!”

Kaede blinked up at her weakly. Slowly, she cupped Maki’s cheek and nodded.

“O-Okay... Let’s get out of here together first. Because we’re...best friends.”

Maki nodded furiously in return.

“Y-Yes... Yes...”

She looked around, holding Kaede close as she did.

Where...should we go? What should we do...?

Kaede smacked her cheeks to snap herself more awake. But she still shivered a lot, rubbing at her arms as she did.

I have to protect Kaede... I have to protect...

A rustling in the bush. Kaede flinched, and pressed close.

“A-A bear...?!”

A bear...?

Without thinking, Maki readied the gun best she could.

The shot was deafening. The recoil was enough to knock them both down.

“MAKI-CHAN!!!”

“Maki...” Kaede pushed herself up. Kaede reached for her. “Maki...”

“M...Maki...chan... Is it dead?”

“...I think so...”

Hand in hand, the two of them walked tentatively towards the crumbled body in the snow. Rather than rugged fur, Maki saw splayed strands of golden blond.

...eh...?

“Mom!?”

Kaede yanked herself away, threw herself forward.

“Mom! MOM!!!” She screamed, clinging to her mother’s blouse and trembling far more than she ever had before. “Please, please answer me!”

She pushed.

“No!”

And pushed.

“No!”

Maki’s legs went out, the rifle crushingly heavy in her grip.

“M...Maki-chan... What...did you do...?” Kaede was looking at her the way one looked at a monster. “What did you do?!”

“I killed her... I...killed...”

Kaede’s gaze wasn’t anything like before.

Maki swallowed, and shivered, as though they were once again in that cold forest.

“Kaede...” Another shiver. “I killed her...”

Kaede nodded solemnly.

“...Oh, Maki...”

“Maki...chan...”

“I-I... I...” Maki scrambled forward, pushing at Kaede’s mother. “G...Get up... Get up...!”

She pushed, hands digging in and then coming away slick with blood. She was startled enough to stumble back, tripping over the rifle she put down.

“I-I... No... No, no, no, no...”

“M-Maki-chan...!”

Kaede was by her side. Kaede was holding her steady in spite of everything. Even with the world itself collapsing, Kaede was holding her steady.

Even though it wasn’t long before both of them were screaming.

Kaede’s father and the other adults searching for them had rushed in soon enough.

Neither of them had spoken for a long time. Somehow, they still ended up pressed closely together on the couch, cuddled up like they had been back then.

“...it’s not your fault, Maki,” Kaede said softly. “I’m sure that... My mom doesn’t...”

“Stop it.” Maki buried her face into her knees. “I don’t want to hear it. She died because of me. Her daughter and her husband were hurt deeply as a result. I don’t want you telling me that she doesn’t blame me for any of that.”

Kaede silently patted her shoulder.

“...it did hurt...a lot...and probably always will...” Quieter, she went on. “Especially now that these old wounds have been reopened but... I think they’ll heal...maybe better than before. Even if it’s not...completely.”

“Do you really think comforting lies will make it better?” Maki asked.

Kaede laughed mirthlessly.

“I just want you to stay with me, Maki.”

Maki shook her head.

“You should not be asking that of a killer. A killer should be alone.”

“That sounds really lonely, Maki,” Kaede said. “And everyone’s still going to worry about you.”

“I can no longer join them. Not with my crime weighing me down. That is...”

Maki sighed.

“...all there is to it.”

It cannot be helped. Someone like me is meant to be empty. I’ve always been empty. It’s no wonder I killed someone. Someone this empty can only leave behind more emptiness.

Kaede’s arms once again encircled her.

“...Kaede...quit being stubborn.”

Kaede held onto her tight.

“Kaede, didn’t you hear me? I’m a killer. A killer should be alone.”

Kaede squeezed.

“...Then,” Kaede said suddenly. “I’ll kill you. It’s only fair. You killed my mom.”

Kaede buried her face into Maki’s shoulder and bit down.

“...I’ll kill you...so that we’ll be together forever, Maki. Alright?”

Maki seized up, heart leaping at the thought.

“A...Alright.”

Their fingers entwined as their lips met, and Kaede pushed her down, pinning her to the cushions.

The two of them were breathing heavily as before.

“...I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll...”

As Kaede undid the buttons of her blouse, tears plip-plopped onto Maki’s collarbone. Maki breathed in, eyes stinging, and then, Kaede slumped with the saddest of smiles, eyes wet and wavering.

Maki sniffled, and then, breath hitching, she broke into sobs.

“Oh, Maki,” Kaede murmured, taking her into her arms and squeezing. “I promise. I’m not going to let you be alone. Never again.”

Maki held onto her as she cried with all the frustration and anguish she never got to release in all those years. She cried until she felt her very heart collapsed.

The world is a rather cold and dull place, but Kaede’s hand is warm, her smile bright like daybreak.

Despite that, there’s a shadow weighing on her that there hadn’t been before.

Many things have changed, again and again, in part due to an ever shifting Kaede.

“Ooh, it’s almost autumn!” Kaede exclaimed. “The leaves are turning different colors, Maki! Look! Don’t these red leaves suit your eyes? Maybe these brown ones suit your hair?”

“That yellow one suits Kaede, then,” Maki said.

“Ehhh?! You think so?!”

Despite the dullness of the colder ground, the colder atmosphere, the trees were awash in these colors the two of them kept pointing out as though without a care in the world.

Even outside of such things, Akamatsu Kaede remained vibrant.

“Ack! We’re wasting time, Maki! We need to hurry! We’ll be late for class at this rate!”

“I don’t really care.”

“You should!” Kaede yanked on her hand. “Come on!”

“Alright.”

The class was loud and excitable as always.

“Yoooo, HaruMaki!!! Kaede!!!”

“Good morning, Harukawa-san, Akamatsu-san...”

“My most beloved Akamatsu-chan! And Harukawa-chan, too, I guess.”

“Morning, morning!” Kaede greeted happily while Maki blankly nodded at a lot of them.

“Harukawa-san,” Shirogane said kindly. “How are you feeling this plain morning?”

“Mm...” Maki shrugged. “So-so, I guess.”

“Aah, is that all?”

“...yeah.”

There wasn’t much else to say. It wasn’t like any of them mattered save for Kaede.

That is...what I think.

After all, she and Kaede were killers. Accomplices, really. So, they couldn’t really make friends anymore.

Kaede gave up on that to be with me.

What a despairing thought. But, that said, Kaede was the kind of bullheaded person who wouldn’t let her despair. Kaede, in many ways, encapsulated that kind of desperate hope.

...hope...

What a funny word that was.

“There’s a song I thinking of writing,” Kaede said once, head resting on folded arms. “It’s a piano piece, of course. I’ve had the melody playing in my head for a while now. But I haven’t figured out how to end it.”

“So, you started to compose your own music,” Maki hummed. “Perhaps I should take up a creative hobby, too. Like write a book. I do spend a lot of time around children, so maybe a children’s book? Hmm, hmm.”

Kaede laughed, stretching out her arms and popping the joints in her fingers.

The library wasn’t quiet that day. Their classmates were bustling a bit, but not as much as usual. At times, the two of them could feel various worried glances. That said, they were not approached.

It was as if there was an invisible barrier between them and everyone else.

...sometimes, it feels as though we’re still trapped in that forest together.

“Perhaps you can write your book alongside my music,” Kaede suggested. “I think my idea could work as a children’s book.”

“Oh?”

Kaede nodded cheerily.

“...it’s about two bear girls. Lost in a forest together.”

“Are those bear girls supposed to be us?” Maki asked, hushed yet affronted with eyes narrowed dangerously.

Kaede giggled, waving her hands.

“Don’t make such a scary face!”

Maki’s frown deepened. Kaede, smiling, hummed as though without a care.

“It’s wintry cold and getting colder,” she said. “If those two bear girls are never found, they’ll fall into an eternal sleep that cannot be woken from. Because, aha, bears are supposed to hibernate in the winter...”

Maki blinked once, twice, and her frown faded.

“...are they ever found, Kaede...?”

“I think,” Kaede said. “I’ll leave you to decide that, Maki. When you write that children’s book, tell me the ending, okay? Then I’ll finish the piece and play it for everyone. I think our class would like to hear it.”

“...” Maki’s gaze flickered to their class. Each one of them met her gaze in one way or another. Despite that, it felt as though all she could see were trees.

...the only one who matters is Kaede... That is...what I thought.

“I think they’d like to hear it, too.”

49 notes · View notes

seriouslyhooked · 8 years ago

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Some Call It Magic (A CS AU) Part 9/?

When Killian Jones moves to Storybrooke he instantly senses something strange about this little town in Maine but he’s willing to overlook all the bizarre signs for one reason: the single Mum living next door to him. There’s only one problem. Killian is nearly positive she’s a witch, a brewing potions and casting spells witch. But when true love is involved, does a little thing like magical powers really matter? Story rated M.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8. Also On FF Here.

A/N: Hey all! I’m so excited to be back with this update this week and to finally get to Emma’s POV after Killian’s last time. As promised it’s bringing forth the harvest festivities and Emma’s magical interlude with her friends. However, I ran into a bit of a problem, one I’m all too familiar with. The muse just had so much to say that this chapter needs to be split in two and the next one will actually bring the promised smut I mentioned before. Not to worry though, because I’ve actually already written it and will be publishing it in the next couple of days so the wait will be minimal. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope that you will enjoy!

Glancing around the central quad of Storybrooke tonight, Emma could clearly see that this year’s festival would be one to remember. The town this autumn, under the faithful oversight of Belle, had really gone all out, and what was usually a quaint little patch of green in the midst of a quintessential small town had been transformed with vibrant fall colors, rustic antique lantern lights, and decorations that were truly something else.

With a theme dedicated to autumn and the harvest season itself, there were so many directions Belle could have taken, and in years past, before Emma had gotten to town and before her friends had taken the reins of this special day, the aesthetic hadn’t always been so pleasing. But this set up was really without reproach, and everywhere Emma looked there was this seamless infusion of the natural world they were celebrating and the modern advancements of time. The most gorgeous of leaves around town had all been collected and brought here to this place, interspersed with painted harvest crops and twinkling lights that shone in the canopies of the trees above like stars in the twilight of the evening.

There were games for the kids, some traditional and some a little newer and a little flashier, and food stands for everyone, but mostly there was this feeling of happiness and belonging. The spirit of Storybrooke was on full display tonight with neighbor embracing neighbor and the townspeople reminiscing on old times while also planning for the future as well. The holidays would soon be upon them all, and the feeling in the air around them was one of real magic, but it crackled just beneath the surface, filling the aura around them all with warmth without actually being on display.

“I think we really outdid ourselves this year,” Elsa proclaimed from beside Emma as she came to admire the general merriment all around them. “Or I guess I should say Belle outdid herself since she was the mastermind behind it all.”

In typical Elsa fashion she managed to downplay just how much everyone had helped, most notably herself, for if Belle was the Captain of this ship then Elsa was her lieutenant, and there hadn’t been an errand Emma’s friend wouldn’t run or an element she wouldn’t organize to be of help. But to Elsa all of that hard work seemed like nothing because she was just the kind of person who sought to aid others. She lived with the community at the forefront of her mind always, and it was what made her such a terrific big sister to Anna and a wonderful friend to the rest of them.

“It really is something,” agreed Emma with a smile, not wanting to embarrass Elsa with too much praise, but there was still something missing in her estimations.

Emma just couldn’t shake the feeling that this would all be so much better when Killian was finally here to share in it. That didn’t really make sense of course because he’d never been here at the festival before, but still the feeling lingered and Emma had found herself scanning the crowd for him more than once during set up and when the gates were opened, awaiting the moment she’d get to see him again. The excitement she was carrying about tonight wasn’t just of the typical harvest festival variety; it was largely thanks to the fact that she’d have someone new to share it with and that that someone was Killian Jones.

“He’ll be here, Emma,” Elsa counseled softly as she took Emma’s hand with care. “Trust me, he’ll be here.”

“Am I really that obvious?” Emma asked, wincing a little at the idea that she was being so unguarded, and Elsa didn’t hesitate at all in her answer.

“Totally. But it’s wonderful because he makes you happy and that’s what tonight is all about. Our magic’s always strongest when we follow the good in life, and Killian’s become a big part of that for you.”

Emma had to agree with that assessment even as a flurry of butterflies took flight inside her chest. It was still a lot for her to handle. All of this emotion and this sensation that she and Killian were supposed to be more than what Emma had ever allowed herself in the past was a lot to handle, but Elsa was right. It was good even while it was overwhelming. For whatever reason being with Killian somehow managed to transcend her past baggage, and though she still hadn’t gathered the courage to confide in Killian about her one big secret, Emma was growing more confident by the day that she would. If her heart could be totally trusted then Killian was the man who would change the game for her, but in the meantime her mind had a little catching up to do and a little calming down as well.

“You want to know what would really make me happy?” Emma asked before turning back to Elsa and giving her a sincere look of pleading. “If I didn’t have my best friends spying on my every move tonight.”

“Yeah… well that might not be possible given the circumstances,” Elsa admitted though she looked less than concerned. “But how about this – I promise to contain the damage as much as I can. If Ruby so much as looks like she’ll shout an innuendo out when in my presence, I’ll tackle her.”

Emma laughed at that promise and smiled at the thought. The problem was it wasn’t too hard to picture in her mind’s eye because her group of friends was hardly docile, but she hoped it wouldn’t come to that, and she trusted that though Elsa too would be curious and probably a tad too nosey, she would work on reining their other friends in to the best of her ability. And all things considered, Emma really appreciated that.

“You’d do all that for me? It almost doesn’t seem worth it,” Emma joked, imagining how less than thrilled Ruby and Mary Margaret would be if someone interrupted their snooping. Those two were both just so bad at being sneaky, but at the same time it came from a place of loving Emma so she had to forgive them their rather frequent outbursts.

“It is, but only because someday I’ll need you to do the same for me. At least I hope I will.”

The first part of that statement had been light and airy, but then a crack appeared in Elsa’s good spirits and Emma could see that there was worry there, worry that love for her wasn’t on its way despite what she wanted, and that everyone else would find something she hadn’t. Emma could understand that fear all too keenly, but it was important to her now to assure Elsa that would never be the case. Someone as wonderful and pretty and kind as Elsa just had to find love. If there was any justice at all in this world then she would find her soul mate too and hopefully it would be sooner rather than later so Elsa could get all the time she deserved to be happy and content with a man she loved.

“You will, Elsa, and when the time comes I’ve got your back.”

The smile on Elsa’s face at that solemn vow eased the little bit of worry Emma had over her friend’s state of happiness. She really did feel for Elsa, after all, and now that she’d managed to expand her own world outside the jaded sort of bubble she’d been residing in so long, Emma didn’t even want to think about going back to a point where she didn’t feel this connection. But before the friends could do much more than hug quickly Elsa pulled back, her grin growing and her head nodding in a direction behind Emma.

“Looks like the wait is finally over,” she said gleefully before urging Emma to go and enjoy the festival.

Emma was all too willing to comply with that request, but she still wasn’t prepared for the moment when she turned around and finally saw Killian. Because when their eyes met across the green and he fully came into view it was like the rest of the world around them faded away, no longer at the forefront of her consciousness. Suddenly Emma wasn’t in the midst of one of the biggest nights of the Storybrooke year. She was caught up in Killian and trying to find the words for what she saw.

She could start by saying that despite her thinking she had a read on how attractive he was, she was wrong. She was so totally wrong. Or maybe she just wasn’t prepared for seeing him like this, in a black leather jacket and with a bit more scruff than he’d had in recent weeks. He looked almost dark and imposing in the clothes that he was wearing, but the look on his face was anything but, almost like his ensemble was a misdirect. This was bad boy apparel at its finest, but the man donning it was looking at her like she was the light and by doing so he was bringing so much light of his own to the table.

Emma’s gifts when it came to magic hadn’t ever been aura driven. She might have good instincts and an ability to read people, but she always left the ideas of people’s spirits and their essences to people more inclined to that set of skills. But right now she swore she saw Killian’s essence illuminating him and coloring the rest of the world in the same exact way. It was beautiful and wonderful and very unexpected, but it was almost impossible to resist and so was he. So why bother trying? There was no reason to, and so Emma followed her heart in this moment, cutting through the milling crowds of people as he did the same until they met in the middle, coming close enough to touch and reach for each other’s hands automatically.

“Hey,” she greeted, realizing a little late that it wasn’t exactly the coolest opening line, but from the way Killian smiled at her, with his lips tilting up slightly higher to one side and his eyes brightening from just the sound of her voice, no one would know. “You made it.”

“That I did, love, and not a moment too soon,” he said, his eyes staying on her but roaming over her figure to take in the full effect of the costume she was wearing. “You look... well you look like you’re from another world completely.”

In years past Emma had always enjoyed the harvest get ups, with the free flowing skirts and the crisp ivory color despite it being past Labor Day. It was comfortable and flattering but it harked to a simpler time, a moment from the past that felt muted in today’s world. In fact the only part Emma had ever questioned was the wreath of flowers that many of the women (and all of the ambassadors for the ceremony) wore, for it seemed just a little over the top when she first arrived in Storybrooke. But eventually she learned to lean into it and over time she’d come to love them just as much as her friends did even if she wouldn’t admit it. It was fun to put on the crown and pretend a little bit, and now, as she took in the more than positive response from Killian, Emma found herself liking it all even more.

“Is that a good thing?” Emma asked, even though she knew from the appreciation in his gaze that it was, but he responded first by pulling her closer into his embrace and placing his other hand on her hip gently.

“Aye. Truth be told I’ve yet to find a single thing about you that wasn’t a ‘good’ thing, Swan. You could say I’m a fan of every part of you.”

At those sweet words Emma fought off the urge to close her eyes and just soak them in, letting them wash upon her. Killian couldn’t possibly understand how much they meant to her and how badly she wanted them to be true. What she wouldn’t give for a man – or rather this man specifically – to truly see her as she was and not turn away. Emma didn’t even need him to be a ‘fan’ per se of all of her, because she had flaws enough, same as anybody. But the most tantalizing part of what Killian was implying was that he wanted her flaws and all, and he was intending to stay for more than just a moment or a fleeting span of time.

The only problem there was still something he wasn’t totally acquainted with, something that Emma had been trying to see as a gift for years and not as a burden, but that she was still scared might be the breaking point. In the past her magic had been both beautiful and the source of the worst pain she’d ever known. It had pushed people she loved away, and made her too different to be loved or accepted, and though it wasn’t fair to assume that Killian would do that too, and though she’d been making progress in letting him in little by little, Emma was still petrified of the idea that someday this would end. She didn’t want Killian to leave, not when she finally felt like she’d found what real love was, and the only reason she could think that he would go was her magic.

“Is something wrong, Emma?” he asked then, his hand squeezing hers a little tighter as her eyes came back up to meet his.

In their blue depths there was all sorts of concern, but there was also something else – a level of trust and of faith in her that was brimming right there at the surface on full display and expressed without any kind of hiding. It was that openness that had made everything else - all her feelings and the love she felt for Killian - possible, and it was also what gave her hope of her own that the surprise or shock of her magic wouldn’t be enough to drive him away.

“No, sorry I just… there’s a lot happening, you know?” she said, not at all coherently but hoping that Killian would understand her on some level, and when he offered a kind smile and then nodded in the direction of the festivities she knew he had.

“Aye, love. I know just how anxious you’ve been to have me as your date tonight. I can imagine that prospect alone would drive any woman to distraction.”

Emma didn’t bother hiding the eye roll that those overly cocky words inspired, but she knew that Killian was kidding and she also knew he’d said that to cut through some of her tensions. Even this display of pretend arrogance had been done and said for her, and Emma appreciated that more than she could readily articulate. So she decided to show him instead by leading Killian into the fray of the evening and illustrating to him why she was so eager to let him in on this favorite tradition.

Storybrooke and the festival did not let her down either and every part of the evening went off without a hitch. There were the games in the square that usually Emma thought of as being for kids but ended up being really fun with Killian, especially when he got frustrated at his lack of ability in some areas but proved too stubborn to walk away. He was steadfast and determined and, if Emma was honest, thoroughly sexy in his never failing confidence. Plus it paid for her in the end too when he won his prize after a few attempts and he readily handed it to her.

“Consider it the smallest token of my affections, love,” he said and Emma played it off like he was way too over the top but damn if she hadn’t loved it all the same. The flirtatiousness and the display of dominance even if it was in such a small arena had been definite positives, and it was nice to get her moment walking through the fair with a tiny stuffed bear her boyfriend had won for her. Non of her exes (if most could even be honored with that substantial a title) had ever given her moments like this and it turned out she liked them more than she ever believed she would.

After they finished with the games for the most part it was time for food, and there was no shortage of it, not when Granny’s had provided everything savory and Stay A Spell had created enough hand made sugary confections to satisfy any sweet tooth. There were pumpkin cupcakes and sugar cookies, cider donuts, and mini pies, and though Emma and Ruby had slaved away over prepping all of them in the past few days the best part was they didn’t have to run the stand. Tonight she and Ruby were off the clock and so the sweets tasted all the better when Emma and Killian got around to trying some.

“How in the hell does anyone limit themselves to just one item?” Killian asked, totally serious and thoroughly confused. “I want everything you’ve made, Swan. I don’t want to miss out on any of this.”

Emma had been prepared to give her two cents, which was to remind him that he had an in with the owner and that all of these recipes could be recreated at a later date, but then they had their first interruption of sorts from a not so surprising source. David and Mary Margaret suddenly appeared before them, and with his usual dose of easygoing honesty David provided a solution.

“Here’s a tip man: you ask for extra boxes from the actual food carts and then use those to stash the sweets for when you get home.”

With his words of wisdom, David handed Killian one of the boxes he’d stolen like he was truly a genius, which was funny in itself, but then Killian looked upon him like he’d really cracked the toughest issue of their times and Emma couldn’t hold back the laugh any longer. Mary Margaret joined in right after and the two of them shared a look, both silently appreciating the bond forming between the two men but also wondering why the heck this could be such a big deal.

“You, David Nolan, are a real miracle worker, you know that?” Killian asked and David nodded like it was an absolute given that he was brilliant.

“Took me two years to figure that one out and after that I never looked back. Figured I might as well share the wealth of my knowledge and spare anyone else the pain.”

“Well next year I’ll get the boxes, mate. Seems only fair.”

“So you’ll be here next year then?” Mary Margaret asked, honing in on talk of the future like a heat seeking missile and reminding Emma of just how painless this had all been so far. Of course that couldn’t last though because her friends would always make comments like this until… well honestly probably forever.

“Most definitely,” Killian said to Mary Margaret as his hand came around Emma’s waist and held her close. “I’ve every intention of staying right here.”

This announcement sent Mary Margaret into an excited tizzy and though Emma also loved hearing it, she was a little put on edge by her friend’s abundance of excitement, but mercifully David stepped in and redirected, pulling his wife away under the guise of winning her a bear like Emma had and leaving Emma and Killian alone once more. In that moment though Emma looked around and noticed that all of her friends and many other nosey neighbors were still hanging around watching and she felt the pressure of it starting to build. She wanted a way out of this, and as if he could read her mind, Killian offered one.

“Just how much privacy do you think one could expect to find in a corn maze, love?” Emma smiled at the question and shook her head.

“It’s a good thought, but you’d be surprised how little alone time you get in there. The kids are obsessed on the years we build one and they hide in every corner just waiting for people to show up. But I have another idea,” Emma offered as she took Killian’s hand once more and led him up the hill and out of the direct line of sight of the rest of the festivities.

Up here there were still people milling around talking in smaller groups after having collected their food and whatnot, but there was one spot Emma knew would be clear, at the edge of the trees where the twinkling lights shone. Just inside that grove they could be alone, and as soon as they got there she surprised them both by pulling Killian behind a tree and close enough to her that they were separated by mere inches and close enough to kiss. In the shadow provided by the leaves it wasn’t quite as easy to see his face, but there was enough light to sketch its likeness and it was impossible for Emma to miss the bit of awe and mischief that appeared in Killian’s cerulean eyes.

“You were right about tonight, Emma. It truly is a tradition to be cherished. But I gather I’ll be enjoying this particular unsanctioned activity just a bit more.”

With those words Killian closed the distance between them, his body coming flush against hers and their lips fused together. It was zero to sixty in seconds but God was Emma ready for it, because after a night spent with subtle flirtations and Killian being that mix of gentlemanly and having all that confident swagger she was in need of this moment. This interlude was all they could have for the time being and it wouldn’t last long, not if they had any hope of actually keeping it just between them, but Killian was right: even if it was fleeting it was easily the best part of her night so far.

“I’m really glad you came tonight,” Emma whispered when they’d finally broken apart and Killian’s forehead rested against hers lightly.

“As am I, love. And I meant what I said before about this being home and me being here for the long haul. I’ve no plans to leave. Not ever.”

Emma’s heart thumped loudly in her chest at his words and her body hummed with a fresh spike of energy. Those words were loaded with promise and with the innuendo that he wasn’t just staying and building a life here just because, but that she was the reason. It was crazy, and yet when he looked at her this way and held her in his arms with this mix of reverence and wanting it was difficult to interpret his meaning any other way. In fact, it was hard to imagine that a man who looked as Killian did right now could be in anything short of full and total love with her, and to feel that even if he hadn’t said the words outright gave Emma the most exhilarating sense of hope.

“Killian, I -,”

The words Emma was about to murmur that would have gone deeper into telling him how she truly felt were unfortunately interrupted by the sound of footsteps drawing closer and then a voice she recognized immediately.

“Are you sure you saw my Mom come up this way?” Henry asked and Emma immediately jumped, but Killian didn’t move at all, holding her steady as they waited to see what would happen.

“Hmm, you know what, I’m not so sure…” Ruby’s voice responded, though Emma could tell by the tone of voice that she was definitely certain. “I mean what reason would anyone have to leave the festival? It would be so strange, maybe I dreamed it up.”

“Damn it, Ruby,” Emma whispered, knowing her friend was teasing her and that she would never let Henry get far enough to find her and Killian if she actually knew they were out here, but she couldn’t just be cool and cover for her for once. Ruby always had to have her fun.

“How would you like to play this, love?” Killian whispered and Emma looked back at him, seeing his openness and willingness to follow wherever she led and it touched her. There was no sense of questioning her feelings or her instincts. What she wanted Killian would want also and it helped her feel better about what needed to be done.

“The only way we should play anything: honestly.”

After saying the words and watching another smile grace Killian’s handsome face Emma extended her hand to him and led him out of the grove of trees. Thankfully Henry was now looking in the opposite direction but Ruby was watching and grinning like a mad woman when they came out front. Emma tried to level her with a warning glare but Ruby didn’t respond with anything but laughter, which then alerted Henry and had him spinning around to find them with a look of relief.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you guys!” Henry stated coming to stand before them and looking at their joined hands not too slyly. His brighter smile at seeing them together did not go unnoticed and again Emma was struck by how much of a matchmaker her son appeared to be. She’d clearly let him spend too much time with her friends, but at least it was working out in her favor. It meant the world to her that Henry liked Killian, because if he didn’t any relationship between them simply wouldn’t be an option.

“That’s my fault, lad. I’m not used to all this fun at once. I needed a bit of relief and your Mum was kind enough to join me in that,” Killian stated innocently, but the words were anything but innocent and Emma fended off a blush when he said them aloud though Henry was completely oblivious.

“But you are having fun right?” Henry asked sincerely, suddenly anxious that Killian wasn’t enjoying himself.

“The most fun I’ve had in ages,” Killian confirmed and then Henry looked positively thrilled before his friend Grace ran up the hill to join him and he seemed to remember why he had come to look for them at all.

“Speaking of… Grace asked if I can sleep over her house tonight. Can I, Mom? Please! Please! Please!” Henry pleaded, somehow managing to bolster his cute ‘I’m only ten’ persona without being totally grating, and Emma couldn’t help but smile and nod.

“As long as it’s all right with Grace’s Dad it’s all right with me.”

“Awesome!” Henry and Grace both proclaimed at the same time, closely followed by ‘Jinx!’ and then ‘Jinx again!’ Then the next thing Emma knew the two of them were sprinting away with just a quick hug as her form of goodbye and a ‘see ya later, Killian’ thrown over Henry’s shoulder.

“And what am I, chopped liver?” Ruby asked, feigning insult at Henry’s having neglected to say goodbye to her, but showing with her overly dramatic flair that she wasn’t actually fazed.

“What you are is treading on thin ice. I mean really, Ruby, you couldn’t have handled that any differently?” Emma asked, prompting Killian to chuckle though he tried to hide it as best he could. Clearly he found her scolding her friend to be comical, but his laughter made Emma’s own aggravation lessen considerably and though she’d barely been frustrated with her friend, she now couldn’t even seem to muster that small level anymore.

“Well maybe, but it doesn’t really matter because we have that, uh… thing we have to get to now.”

Emma hadn’t been keeping tabs on the lateness of the hour and when she realized that she had to call it a night now with Killian it left a bit of sadness in her heart. This had really been such a lovely evening and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun, but Ruby was right. She had things she had to do and responsibilities that must be met. So even if it was hard, she had to say goodbye.

“I suppose this is where you leave me, love,” Killian stated, and Emma nodded, wishing that didn’t have to be the case.

“Just for a little while. It’s tradition, you know?” Emma said, not really knowing how to convey the necessity behind this. Short of saying that the town would potentially be hurt by them not casting the protective spells (which she definitely didn’t want to get into right now) there wasn’t really an excuse she could think of, but Killian didn’t need one.

“Say no more, Swan. I trust whatever you all will be up to is worth the separation. But…”

“But…?” Emma prompted, wanting to know what he was going to say and knowing instinctively that it was going to be good.

“But if you find yourself feeling a bit lonely tonight since Henry will be gone, you know where to find me.”

The invitation was enough for Emma to realize what an opening this really was. For months they’d been looking for a prolonged window of time and with Henry out tonight they could definitely have that. Of course it would come on an evening when she already had to be out late, but Emma could hope that maybe it would work out, even if she didn’t want to have to intrude on Killian’s time and patience.

“I might be late. Like really late…” Emma whispered and Killian shook his head, his hand coming to cup her cheek.

“Time is no matter to me, Emma. Not when it comes to you.”

The promise was so sweet and heartfelt that Emma felt compelled to give him something in return and she moved closer to kiss him only for the moment to be broken by the emergence of more of her friends.

“Ruby, I thought you said you were grabbing Emma and we were heading out. What’s taking so – oh, shoot sorry,” Anna said before giving an awkward wave at Emma and Killian who were now looking in their direction. “Carry on with whatever, you know, this is.”

“So I’ll see you later?” Emma asked, looking back to Killian and trying her best to ignore her friends for the last few seconds of this goodbye.

“I hope so, love. I really do,” he said before giving her one last chaste kiss to her cheek and bidding her friends farewell as he headed back into the festivities and towards a waving David. After she watched him go, Emma turned back to her friends and faced exactly what she’d expected – five completely gleeful women who looked like they would burst from excitement.

“Don’t even start,” Emma counseled them before grabbing one of the lanterns that was nearby to light her way. “We’ve got things to do, remember?”

The reminder proved enough to divert her friends and they left the confines of the town square to get to the field that they’d selected days back to utilize for their ritual. It was out of the way of the traffic of town, but just in case there was a barrier in place that Emma and the others walked through easily. Once inside it though, the charge of magic was already present and the six of them got to work gathering what was needed for their traditional blessing of Storybrooke.

This was a dance that Emma had been through a number of times now, but each time it still amazed her how much could be accomplished with the knowledge of how magic worked and a team of likeminded people beside her. This spell was harmless, inflicting no damage to anyone or anything. It was all about bolstering the spirit and the source that Storybrooke encapsulated and seeing the town through the long winter ahead until spring came once again, but there would be a personal rush for Emma and all her friends when the incantation was complete. Any time they used magic they could feel it, but when they were all together like this and using their magic purely for the good of others that feeling was stronger than ever.

There were many steps to take in this ritual all of which had been passed down from generation to generation, and over time each friend had chosen one part that they liked most. Elsa and Anna attended to the shells and ordered all of the other tokens in their designated spots while Ruby and Mary Margaret worked on the fire before them. It had to be a specific size and burning hot enough to work to its best potential, but by now they were masters at this, which made Belle’s job of oversight over everyone easy as could be.

That just left Emma who had a special task that had gone unfulfilled for years and years before she and Henry arrived in town. For Emma her job was to use her magic to pull other magic forward, utilizing the natural world around them and the essence of Storybrooke itself to embolden their spell. She then put all of that white magic in three crystals that would eventually meet the flames along with the other collected ingredients the friends had been searching for the past few weeks.

“We’re getting really good at this, don’t you think?” Mary Margaret asked at one point and the others agreed, all of them just as pleased as Emma was by how easy this was proving to be.

As fate would have it their first year of taking the reigns for this from their mothers and grandmothers was the year that Emma came to town, and back then it had been anything but seamless. They were stopping and starting all night long and they’d barely gotten it all done before the first morning light crept up and the moon was fully gone. But time had taught them so much, not just about this ritual but about each other, and the trust between them and the intimate knowledge of who each friend and what her strengths were made this a far easier prospect than it had once been.

“I’ll say,” Elsa agreed as she took her spot by the fire with Anna coming to her other side. “All of this ready in thirty minutes? That has to be a town record.”

“Maybe, but we’ll need that extra time this year with the new phrasing. It might take us a few tries to get the spell just right,” Belle said. The words, however, confused Emma since she hadn’t realized they were changing anything.

“New phrasing? Why do we need that?”

“Oh we don’t need it per se,” Belle filled in. “But my grandmother always said spells have a shelf life and new words have new power. It’s all the same sentiment though, just rhymed a little differently.”

Belle then came around the circle of them passing out the little slips of paper she’d created with their words to read, and because of how she’d set it up Emma was reading last which would be a first for her. Usually she was right in the middle of the pack, but now she was in the spot of honor so to speak, and she had to wonder if that wasn’t for a reason. Nevertheless she memorized her words and tucked the paper safely into her pocket before extending her hand to take Belle’s and Ruby’s.

“All right, girls, let’s do this,” Ruby said and then she nodded to Belle who was set to start them off. At that they all closed their eyes and let themselves feel the energy around them, seeking it out and hoping to magnify it.

“With magic white and hearts made true, we stand in front of sacred fire,” Belle began before Mary Margaret stepped in.

“In hopes that safety, love, and light continue on and then grow higher.”

Now it was Elsa and Anna’s turn and they spoke together having only Elsa’s magic to use, but knowing Elsa’s magic was strongest when she had her sister beside her.

“Protect this town and all it’s people, the grown and young, the old and new. And keep this place our cherished harbor, no matter what the world may do.”

“Grant us the chance to glimpse our futures,” Ruby continued. “To walk our paths and keep in light.”

“And help us love, for love’s our anchor,” Emma stated. “To get us through the long cold nights.”

When the last word was uttered, Emma felt a rush of wind both cold and warm at once. It was transformative, a feeling brushing over every part of her, but when she opened her eyes it was largely invisible, merely a bursting of light that came from the circle of friends and spread up into the air, presumably to infiltrate each barrier of town and envelop all of their neighbors. The spell had clearly worked even on its first time, and in the aftermath Emma felt lighter than air and filled with a giddy sense of purpose and rightness.

“Woah!” Anna said aloud, her smile growing as her eyes traced over the starry sky. “That was easily the best one yet. Could you feel that?”

“Hell yeah,” Ruby agreed eagerly, squeezing Emma’s hand as her eyes came to hers and her grin hitched up to one side. “That was all you, Ems. You’re magic was super present. Even more than last year.”

Emma nodded knowing Ruby was right. Every year since getting here she’d gotten a similar comment about how her magic had a force none of the rest of them had, but before she’d only had Henry and her friends to bolster her powers with. This year the mention of love and the sentiment of keeping people safe had extended to Killian too. That must have been the reason she had even more strength (since it had happened with Mary Margaret and Ruby when they met David and Graham), and the thought made Emma smile to herself. Her mind then wandered back to Killian and his invitation for tonight and she felt the lingering magic tingling under her fingertips, right at the surface and ready to push forward. She felt like she could do anything she wanted, but the one thing she desired most of all was the chance to get back home and spend the night with Killian.

“I think it’s safe to say we crushed it,” Belle said happily as she closed her book with one more written note beside the spell (probably to say how successful it had been).

“So what do we do now?” Elsa asked excitedly, her hands still holding Anna’s and her eyes looking to all of them for guidance.

“Now we clean up and get some cocoa while Emma goes and gets her man,” Ruby proclaimed determinedly, and Emma began to argue with her but then she realized she didn’t want to. That actually sounded pretty perfect to her, and she’d make it up to her friends somehow when time was more on her side.

“Are you sure?” Emma asked, hoping that they were but ready to face the reality that they wouldn’t be.

“Oh we’re sure,” Mary Margaret said with the stern intonation of a mother. “Now go on quick before we make you talk about your feelings and finding true love.”

Emma didn’t have to be told twice, and after hugging her friends goodbye, she made her way through the woods with her lantern in hand, eager to get home again and to the man who had changed her life for the better and brought his own kind of magic into her world and into her heart each and every day.

Post-Note: So thank you all so much for joining me in this. It was super fun to write, though I was frustrated by my muse’s inability to be a bit more succinct (I mean hello I wanted to just get to the smut already but somehow all these words had happened and it just wasn’t meant to be). Anyway like I said I will be putting my next chapter out in the coming days so there will not be the same level of wait that there has been in the previous chapters. I’m also happy to announce that I have made some real progress on the other two WIP fics I have going and those either have been wrapped up or will be wrapped up in the next week or so leaving me more time to finish this story before my life gets crazy hectic in the fall. Thank you all so much for reading and let me know what you think!

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sawthingsiimagined · 8 years ago

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#XD30 SIXTEEN | DOUBLE TROUBLE

[ Water Is Wet- Jace]

"Good night Chicago!" I screamed into the microphone before running off stage. The show wasn't sold out but it was by far the loudest audience we had had since the start of our tour. It was also exciting because at this point of the tour, the majority of the crowds were singing a couple of our songs with us. We were now being played on the radio and our online buzz was steadily increasing. Jada and I hugged as we always do when get offstage and then we went our separate ways to our personal dressing rooms. I wasn't totally sure if I would be attending the afterparty tonight. I was a little tired and had some ideas for a song that I wanted to get out of my head. I was really anxious about getting back into the studio and working on our album.

TJ beat me back to my dressing room ranting and raving about someone rearranging his settings for the lights before the show started. He was furious. I tried my best to calm him down because usually after a show I enjoyed sitting in silence.

"So are we going to the afterparty or not? I saw this cute young tender back at the hotel that I don't mind stalking if we skip out on the party," he said switching tones from anger to desperate.

"I don't know. I don't want to miss anything fun and Chicago seems like a fun city," I replied.

"You're right about that. Well, I say let's at least go for a little while and see what trouble we can get into," he said rubbing his hands together. "Oh yea, you didn't finish telling me about the dream you had....about kissing Teecie." I saw him roll his eyes as he made his last statement. He probably knew I was lying. I wanted to tell him what happened between Teecie and I on the roof top but I told him it was dream so he wouldn't be too judgmental. TJ was very harsh when it came to expressing his opinions and my hard-on, or lack thereof, didn't warrant his opinion. I went ahead and told him the rest of my 'dream'.

"Boy, that probably means you need to wake up and do you. Trying to force this crap with Teecie. It ain't gonna work. I mean, she's cute and all but do you consider yourself bi?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked him genuinely.

"Well, I mean, do you like girls too?" he asked.

"What do you mean too? I like girls period," I said slightly offended.

"And boys," he said as if he was finishing my statement. Little did he know I was finished with my statement after I said 'I like girls'.

"TJ where do you get this idea that I'm...well..that I have a thing for guys?" I asked.

"My grandma always said, you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time," he said changing his tone to sound like some older woman from the hood.

"And what does that mean? Did I say something or do something that implied that I'm....gay?" I asked.

There was a knock at the door. I got really quite in hopes that whoever it was didn't hear me being slandered or defending myself in my dressing room. I opened the door and to my surprise it was Demarion.

"Yo champ. Did you have to kill them out there like that?" he said with a laugh grabbing both of my shoulders as if he was about to shake me.

I smiled and grabbed his arms in playful wrestling-like way.

"And that's all I needed to know," TJ said sarcastically before exiting the room. I felt so played. I hadn't told him about the wrestling match Demarion and I had or about the 'remote control' in my shorts. Maybe it was just obvious. I doubt it though. TJ was a bit obsessive, nosey and always speculating something. As much as I enjoyed our friendship, at times it was extremely tiring to deal with his antics.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Demarion asked.

"We?" I asked trying to trigger a sarcastic reply out of him.

"Oh so now you don't want to hang with me anymore? Cool my mans. I'll go see if the other shorties want a good time," he said pretending to turn and exit the room.

"Man sit down. What do you want to do? I didn't assume you wanted to hang with me tonight," I said.

"I always want to hang with you. Don't we have fun? You act like two days ago we weren't running through that museum photobombing people's selfies and shit," he said. I gave him a look because he was aware of how I felt about swearing. "My bad homie. But yea I wanna hang. How about we run through the afterparty spot and if it's dead we go eat and drink?" he asked.

"That sounds fun. TJ will probably come along too. He was just in here asking what I was doing." I said.

"Oh," he said in a solemn tone.

"Oh? What does that mean?" I asked with my eyebrows raised and looking him directly in the eye.

"I was meaning 'we' as in me and you. TJ is mad cool but he be all over the place," he said laughing to avoid coming off as offensive.

"I feel you. Which means that we will probably end up without him. After 15 minutes he will get lost in the club and probably end up laying down drunk in one of the booths," I said laughing. "I'll text him anyways though."

Demarion sat on the vanity counter beside me while I texted TJ. I pretended to look for the text app on my phone but glanced up at him without raising my head. What if I was....gay...no...curious maybe? Nah...Demarion is just a nice guy. And yes he's very nice looking but he's definitely not gay. Every girl on our dance team has tried to get with him. Tracey has stalked Demarion since day one. Last week he was in the fitness center at the hotel running on the treadmill shirtless. His dark body was shining in sweat. She also brought attention to his gym shorts and the movement inside of them. She kept finding reasons to walk by the center when he worked out. He's also made mention about a baby momma back home. He hasn't showed us a photo of a baby so I took that term as in there was a girl back home that he was planning to make his baby mama.

He was scrolling through his Instagram feed, no doubt searching for videos tagged of him playing the drums tonight. I could tell he found one when his eyes lit up and he smiled.

"What do you see?" I asked curious to know what he was smiling for.

"Jace, man...this little move you did right here took the audience out. It was like you were floating on air and then you landed in a split!" he said with the excitement I usually reserve for performers like Michael Jackson. The split I landed in was courtesy of the three years of gymnastics I was enrolled in during Junior High. The dancing is credited to my family genes. We may be church people but everyone in my family could dance and we often showed our skills at family functions. I moved closer to him so I could see the video. He chuckled and smiled again bumping into me.

TJ came through the door. "What are we watching boys?" he asked coming toward us.

"Demarion spends an hour after each show gawking over footage from the performance," I said moving away to finish drying myself off from the sweat of our performance.

"Interesting," TJ said. I really wasn't enjoying his tone.

"So we figured we'd all go out to the afterparty and if it's dead we can go somewhere for drinks," I informed him.

"No thanks. Bro. I got a tip that my crush is at the pool at the hotel. So I'm going for a swim," he said rubbing his hands together. "My phone died so I was coming to tell you before I left. But y'all have fun. Not too much fun without me," he winked at me as if he was insinuating something. Ugh. I was going to have to fight TJ. I could see that now. He left and shut the door behind him.

"Well I'm about to change really quick, then we can go watch SASSY perform and then go hit up the party," I said. I thought Demarion would also leave while I changed but he moved to the sofa across the room and pulled the phone up to his face. Wow.

I didn't want to be rude so I began changing in a discreet manner. The shirt I had on was tight and extra fitted because of the sweat. I was having a hard time pulling it off. Demarion looked up and laughed before coming over to help me pull the shirt off over my head. At this point I'm breathing hard. I stand there and look at myself in the mirror for about 4 seconds.

"Someone has been throwing weights. I see you man," Demarion said also looking at me in the mirror. I gave him a 'boy please' expression through the mirror and he threw up his hands and returned to his seat. I was a long way from his body type and I'd pay for knee implants to be his height.

I finished changing and then we went to sit in the sky-booth to watch SASSY performed. I enjoyed the way they performed but it was obvious that they either didn't get along or they didn't know each other outside of rehearsals. They just didn't mesh really well like most girl groups.

After the concert I let Demarion ride in our car. Jada said she had 'plans' and wouldn't be going to the afterparty. She had been acting weird lately. I wasn't bothered. As long as I knew my sister was safe and as long as she gave one hundred percent on stage, I was cool. He didn't say much on the ride to the club. He was doing his usual search and watching video posts of our performance.

When we arrived to the club we both picked up a drink from the bar. He then suggested that we take a shot. One shot turned into two shots and before I knew it we were both on the dance floor. He danced with a dancer girl from SASSY's group and I moved amongst the people around me. You could say that I was dancing with everyone. It was quite unusual for me to be on the dance floor. Although I was great at dancing, I wasn't fond of dancing in clubs. The drinks made me feel like a new person though and before I knew it, I was giving the club a full performance.

I felt someone grab me from behind and pull me into them. I turned around and realized it was Tracey. We danced for an entire song before I noticed that Demarion had stopped dancing. He was actually staring at us from the bar with a new drink in his hand and a weird look on his face. I smiled at him but he looked away. I could sense tension but I didn't know why. After the song ended, I hugged Tracey and went to get another drink. Demarion excused himself to go to the restroom so I was basically chilling by myself. Instead of standing there alone I decided to go sit in a booth and finish my drink. After about 15 minutes Demarion texted me.

The text read: "Where are you?"

Before texting back I looked towards the dance floor and noticed him searching for me. He almost seemed like he was annoyed.

I replied: "Sitting in the booth to your left"

He came over and sat beside me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing man, I just needed some air," he said.

"Do you want to leave and get food?" I asked trying to ease the tension.

"I'm chilling man," he said with a slight attitude.

I wasn't sure why the mood changed but I knew I didn't want to sit there quiet. I got up to walk away and he grabbed my arm. I turned around and he was looking up at me. I gave him a slight frown. I was confused. I sat back down.

"What's wrong with you?" I said in an annoyed toned.

"I don't know," he said. We looked in each other's eyes for about 5 seconds. "I'm sorry."

"I don't know what you're apologizing for. Clearly I did something to upset you. I saw the way you were looking at me," I said. He leaned back into the booth and slumped down. He opened his legs and begin playing on his phone.

I really don't like to upset people. I wasn't totally sure how I upset him but we were having fun one minute and not talking to each other the next. I was already tipsy and that made me feel more sensitive than I usually am. Before I knew it my eyes began to water. I wiped my eye with my finger and the same hand I had used, he grabbed and pulled it down onto the booth placing his hand on top of mine. I wasn't sure if it was my slow reflexes from the drink or not but for some reason I didn't feel the need to move my hand. Before we had the chance to say anything further the DJ broke the moment. "Last call. This is last call. We will be closing in 30 minutes," he said. Demarion squeezed my hand and stood up to walk away. I followed him. Once outside of the club, he turned and looked at me.

"Are we going to eat or go back to the hotel?" he asked in a low tone. I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. Luckily the car had pulled up and stopped any further conversation. My emotions were totally out of control. At this point I wasn't even sure what I was upset about. When we got in the car I looked out the window to avoid eye contact with him. What was I feeling? Why was he making me upset or was I upsetting him? Why did I care? He pulled at my arm as if he wanted me to move closer to him. Looking out of the window was making me nauseous so I obliged. I still didn't look at him.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. My drunk self started crying again. He pulled me again and I laid my head on his shoulder. He stretched his arm to reach around me and he squeezed my arm. We sat like that the entire ride to the hotel.

While walking into the hotel lobby he whispered, "Do you trust me?". "Yea," I said. "Can I trust you?" he asked. "Yes Demarion," I said looking at him. "Follow me," he instructed.

We walk to the pool area. It was 3:30 in the morning but the pool was still accessible but empty. The pool was in the rear of the hotel and most people seemed settled for the night.

"Take off your clothes," he said.

"What?" I asked in a confused tone.

"Just do it," he said. I took off my clothes leaving on my underwear. I was aware of what I was doing but was too tipsy to ask myself why. I was really acting out of character. Once I was undressed I stood there looking down at myself. All of a sudden Demarion pushed me into the pool. The water was very cold but because of the shock it didn't phase me much. Once I resurfaced I wiped the chlorine water out of my eye. I looked up at him and saw him standing there in nothing but his boxer briefs. He bit his bottom lip and jumped in splashing water all over me. He swam from under the water and came up directly in front of me.

"Still mad at me," he said with big smile on his face.

"No nigga," I said.

"Oh snap. My man said nigga," he said before bursting into laughter. I splashed water on him and that lead to a water fight. Once we were tired he swam behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck as if he was about to jump on my back. He leaned into my ear and said "Why do you do me like this?"

"Do you like what boy?" I asked.

"See how you play. You know what you're doing," he said with a chuckle and then pulled me under water. I fought my way back up kicking him. I accidentally kicked him hard in the leg.

"Ouch dude!" He yelled in pain.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" I replied. "I didn't mean to kick you in the leg".

He went from moaning in pain to laughter. "Well, that sure wasn't my leg," he said.

I stood up in the water in shock. If that wasn't his leg..then that was his....wow....it was hard like his leg though......double wow.

#xd30 #Double Trouble #ROMen Writes #writing challenge

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