#(made even moar gifs!!!)

[strawberrylollipopchainsawgirl18]

What are you laughing at, dickhead?

[angelteyam]

Water Girl (n.s.)

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Metkayina!Reader

Word Count: 10,612

Summary: You were...“different”. You had always been different. Yet something shifts when the Sully family arrives, literally crash landing into your village. No one had ever noticed you, and yet, for whatever reason, the eldest Sully boy suddenly can’t seem to get you out of his mind. 

Warnings: major character deaded, floof, angst, moar floof, some kissy and touchy (nothin weird)

A/N: this is….a beast. also do not judge me for briefly mentioning neteyam’s unalivement, I literally do not have it in me to actually write it out. 

- -

“Hush, payíva. Listen to the ocean.”

Payíva. Drop of water.

The first of many names your mother gave you. Granted, she had many names of her own that you’d bestowed upon her too when you learned to speak: mama, sa’nu, mom, mommy. It seemed only natural for her to give you a few of your own, but a couple stuck out as your favorites. 

Payíva, for when you were young, and inconsolable from having skipped a sleep, and refusing to nurse due to the pain of your budding canines piercing through gum. 

Stubborn. As always.

Kxali was overtired too, and having failed every attempt she knew to mother you, and Ronal’s treatments falling on deaf ears, your mother wrapped you tightly against her bosom using one of your father’s shawls, and walked with you along the shoreline. 

Eywa, you were your father’s child. 

Elpawe was with Tonowari on a warrior’s hunt past the reef. The trip was supposed to last a week, but by day three, you had dissolved from your father’s absence. And though neither you nor your mother knew this, Elpawe felt the distance between you was as wide as the chasm of Eywa’s great ocean. 

You were too young to understand that your father, Tonowari’s right hand, would always come back. He had to come back - not just for his mate, but for you. From the day you were born you had him wrapped around your tiny fingers, and as much as your mother’s presence could comfort you, his aura was your salve.

So Kxali did what she could as a final plea, and used a leather belt to secure a warm, deep blue shawl around her hips, before tying it around her shoulders and tucking you into the fabric. Even she could scent your father in the fabric’s weave, and as she tucked you in against her chest, your knees and arms against her as if still in the womb, your howling cries that had lasted for days on end slowed to a dull whimper. 

This whimper continued still, as Kxali scaled a small boulder at the water’s edge to rest with you, her toes dipping into the waves that swirled and tangled around the rock as they made their way to the sandy beach nearby. She settled back against the rock, one hand beneath you for support, and the other came to rest against your head in soothing, graceful strokes. 

Another dull whimper from your small, plump lips. 

“Hush, payíva. Listen to the ocean.”

Kxali let herself breathe as if she was beneath the water. Belly full of air, and heart beating in a rhythm that matched the waves lapping against the shore. A large wave crashed against the rock beneath you, and you whimpered again. 

“Hush, my droplet. The waves are talking to you. The water is with you, just like mama.”

Another wave lapped against the rock, and as if it had heard your mother, it rolled against the shore in a smooth, slow motion, whisking away and leaving a smattering of beautiful shells behind. 

Hush, small one. 

The ocean seemed to speak, and as another wave came passing by, a few droplets of salty water landed against your forehead and trickled down to rest on the perfectly round tip of your nose. 

And just like that, the wrinkles in your forehead disappeared, the tension melted from your eyelids, and your lips parted. A barely audible sigh escaped you, and your mother smiled above you as you began to softly snore.

Your father’s child, indeed. 

As you grew older, the names your mother used for you did too. Most of the time you and your father shared the same one. 

Skxawng.

Although reserved for you when you were behaving particularly like him - meaning, particularly stubborn - for your father, this meant he had missed something important. 

Sometimes he had missed your orbits for hunting trips. This you could understand, for when Tonowari called, your father answered. He had to answer. Your mother wasn’t always so understanding, but these happenings could be forgiven for duty. 

Most of the time however, and as most Na’vi males do, your father would blow right past something even though it was staring him right between the eyes. He couldn’t see a tulkun even if it smacked him across the face with a fin some days. 

A forgotten chore, or a broken spear. Or, as was usually the case, returning from a tussle with another group of males, laughing and bantering as though it had never happened, and completely covered in scrapes and bruises. 

Kxali would patch him up, of course, but if there was one thing your little mind knew, it was that you did not like to see your father hurt. Even the smallest scrape on his cheek would send you into a fit, and you’d worm your way into your mother’s grasp, dipping your hands into the healing sap so you could help your sempu feel better. 

Through eyes full of tears, you’d rub your tiny fingers on the offending mark on your father’s skin - not fully grasping that rubbing the sap in harder would not in fact make the injury disappear. Elpawe would smile down at you, even through gritted teeth, and once done, you’d pull away to assess your work.

“Ma sempu all better?” You’d squeak, and he’d smile. 

“All better, little one.” He’d sigh, and he’d pull you in tightly to his chest, grinning at your mother behind you. 

And every time, Kxali would lightly smack him on the head. 

“You skxawng. You know how she gets.”

And as you grew older still, your mother and father took to calling you the same thing.

Paysmung. Water carrier. 

You may have been Metkayina, but something about your natural abilities in the water and with the ocean’s many creatures had even Ronal scratching her head. Your mother barely had to teach you a basic breath hold before you were swimming off like a fish, running your hands along an ilu’s belly as you swam beneath her. 

You were the one who gave Tsireya her first breathing lessons. You were the one who discovered which shells looked the prettiest in bracelets, and which looked the best against the pitch black of hair. You were the one who started testing your breathing ability by fetching shells from the ocean floor. 

Nothing entirely marvelous, true enough, but when you emerged from the ocean with piles of massive shells in your arms that no one had seen before, the waves clinging to your ankles as if they didn’t want to say goodbye, and no ilu in sight for that matter, you had the entire clan stumped. 

Gradually, though, as you approached your rite with no desire to take after your father’s path of warrior or your mother’s path as healer, and as you continued to spend your days beneath the ocean’s blanket of safety with no interest in a mate, the clan and all her people started to forget about you. 

Not Mama and Papa, of course. But neither of them particularly wanted you to follow in their footsteps. You were different. Softer, and quieter as you had grown with age. Sometimes you could fade into the water as if you were made of the ocean itself. And when you emerged, leaving behind small tokens for your parents that now covered every surface of your marui from floor to ceiling, hung across nets and dangling from ropes that made them twinkle like stars, well…neither of your parents was intent on discouraging you. 

Elpawe held sway, too. Some sort of power in convincing Tonowari to let you be. You did not have the warrior’s spirit, or the spirit of a healer like your mother. And one thing your father was very certain of was that he did not want his little payíva to be forced into choosing a fate you would not readily choose on your own. 

He even managed to convince Tonowari that you weren’t entirely useless. He did teach you how to fight, so you could defend yourself if you ever truly needed to. And your mother taught you to heal basic scrapes and mend small cuts, and to tend to the elderly and the sick. Where Ronal went, your mother followed, and you followed behind when you were needed. And when Tonowari watched you emerge from the water with a net full of fish you’d guided in as if you were their commander - well, that was a done deal.

And thus, you were left alone. 

Left alone as your mother and father grew in their duties. Left alone with no siblings to keep you company, and with the village’s children skeptical of you from the beginning, you had no friends besides those who lived beneath the ocean. Left alone to bond with your own spirit sibling, your very own tulkun, who would take you swimming father and deeper into the blue water than you’d ever gone before. 

Left alone with no mate, and no prospects who interested you, either. 

Invisible. 

That is, until the Sully family arrived. 

You were on the outskirts of the village, hopping along a ring of rocks that stuck out from the ocean during low tide, when a group of five ikran flew overhead, circling a sandbar at the village’s edge. They landed in a flurry of sand, hands raised and unarmed. 

And far too blue.  

The clan emerged in droves from their marui, and rode in from the waves at every angle on ilu and skimwings in a rainbow of colors, gathering around the new arrivals like a school of fish. You watched Tonowari and your father approach from the water, dismounting their skimwings and moving towards the strangers. Your mother and Ronal came from the back of the village, winding their way through the crowd. 

You sighed, having a feeling you’d probably be needed, and leapt into the ocean, allowing a swell to carry you towards the shore. You popped up next to Tsireya as she broke the water’s surface on her ilu, allowing yourself to catch your breath.

“What’s going on?” You wondered. 

Tsireya shrugged and rolled into the water, strolling up through the shallows to meet Ao’nung and Roxto. 

You watched as she and the smaller of the two sons met eyes, and as she tilted her head down to giggle. 

Gross. 

Of course Tsireya would immediately peak the newcomer’s interest. Why shouldn’t she? You may have been obtuse at the best of times, but you weren’t blind. Tsireya was one of the more beautiful girls in the village, and from the way the younger Sully looked at her, he wasn’t blind either. 

You rolled your eyes and plopped down to your knees, wiggling them into the wet sand of the shallow water. The water reached your chest, allowing you to tilt your head and watch Jake Sully’s plea for uturu. As Tonowari looked to your father and mother standing behind him. As his eyes met Ronal’s, and they shared a knowing glance, communicating in a way only mates could without words, before granting Jake Sully’s request.

You could see your mother’s eyes scanning the crowd and the water below, before they found you with a knowing smile. 

You smiled in return, and tilted your head in a silent gesture. You were going back out into the water. Your mother nodded, and signed to you. 

Go. Be back before eclipse. 

You nodded and pushed from the sand, legs extended as you floated onto your back, allowing your belly to fill with air before rolling over and diving below the surface, angling back to the spot from whence you came. 

What you hadn’t noticed was the older Sully boy watching you the entire time. 

After he’d shoved Lo’ak gently with his shoulder when the younger boy couldn’t peel his gaze from Tsireya’s, Neteyam’s eyes had scanned the crowd. Half to survey the surroundings and half out of an inherent protectiveness, while the rest of the clan had come to the shore, you had remained in the water, staring at his father with nothing more than blinking curiosity. 

He could barely see you in between the throng of people. But something in the tilt of your head, in the doe-eyed innocence of your gaze, and the way the ocean clung to you like a second skin had him very, very curious. 

When you pushed from the shore and floated on your back, rolling over and swimming away as if you were a fish instead of Na’vi, he had to chuckle. 

You hadn’t even noticed him noticing you. After all, no one except your parents up to this point had out of anything other than animosity, or because you were “different”, and not in a good way. While some - Tonowari and Tsireya, like your father - were accepting of those different from them, much of the clan felt the opposite. And as a result, the clan preferred not to notice you.

But you noticed them. 

You noticed everything. The glow of a new mother’s skin. A breaking fever. A warrior’s wound when it wouldn’t heal. Things you could appreciate in silence, small things more often than not. Secrets you could share with the water. 

You preferred the ocean as your friend anyway. 

But this - these new arrivals, this was a big thing. Several 9-foot tall things. And at first, Jake Sully, or rather Toruk Makto, commanded all of your attention. He mystified you. A walking legend. You knew his story, but seeing him in person was a whole different experience. 

He may have been a legendary war hero, but he and his family knew nothing about the way of water. More than that, the oldest of his children looked to be about your age. 

They were worth watching.

So when you watched their first diving lesson from afar, lounging on a large ocean rock, and when their first breathing lesson went less than spectacular, you too had to press the back of your hand to your lips to keep from laughing. 

You may have been a skxawng, but these children reached a whole new level. 

One of them - the girl, Kiri, seemed a lot like you. 

She explored the same spots you did, ran her fingertips along the bellies of the rays just like you did, and plucked shells from the ocean floor as if she’d been doing it all her life. 

So one afternoon, as you watched her scan the ocean floor, you unearthed an iridescent purple shell from the sand and swam over to her, pressing it to her palm with a smile. She smiled in return, and you nodded, swimming away.

From that moment on, Kiri was a kindred spirit. 

You were never far apart, though you tended to drift away when a particularly colorful fish caught your eye. Call it a short attention span. But usually, you never swam too far, keeping her within your eye line.

You had enough shells as it was already. So if you found any more, you’d gather them for her, leaving her little piles on the beach as she sat in the shallows. Back and forth, almost like a game, if only so you could discover what her favorite color was.  You were never gone more than a few minutes before you’d return to her side and lay in the sand together, letting the sun soak into your skin and warm the chill of the water. 

You didn’t even really need to speak. Kiri understood your facial expressions more than words, particularly in the way you’d roll your eyes, so you’d just sit in comfortable silence together, building small structures out of sand and decorating them with the shells you found. Sometimes, little Tuk would join you, staying strictly to the shallower waters or the beach, allowing you to bring her tokens of appreciation as well. Tuk wasn’t picky - she didn’t have a favorite color.  She liked everything you brought her, big and small. 

It was a strange sort of comfort, having friends who didn’t even really need you to speak. You could just exist, even in silence, and it wasn’t uncomfortable. While the ocean may have been your friend thus far, it was nice to have friends of your own species. 

And the more time you spent with Kiri and little Tuk, the more Neteyam noticed you. 

The more he noticed the ease with which you hopped from boulder to boulder before diving into the water. The more he noticed the little treasures you’d find for Kiri and Tuk displayed in his family’s mauri. He started to wonder where they were coming from, and how they’d found so many. And then he started to notice that wherever Kiri was, you were usually within diving range. He started to notice the piles of treasures you’d leave her and Tuk, either on the shore or on the edge of their marui. Now, they grew to necklaces and bracelets, woven from their favorite treasures you’d found. A new braid that seemed to pop against their dark hair, a vibrant, colorful shell at its end. 

You were never far away from his sisters, and as he was never very far away from them either, Neteyam became the very first to take notice of you. 

To be fair, no female had peaked his interest yet either. He was far too busy staying attached at the hip to his baby brother until now. With Tsireya taking Lo’ak under her wing, Neteyam had the free time he’d never had before to take in the ocean around him. 

And where there was ocean, you were usually swimming within its waters. 

This time was valuable to Neteyam, and usually short lived. Stolen moments like the movement of the waves, there one minute and gone the next. Of course, as the eldest sibling, he still had to keep a reasonable eye on his younger brother and sisters. But with Jake learning the Metkayina’s ways with Tonowari and your father, Lo’ak under regular supervision by someone other than himself, and Kiri and Tuk always within the reef’s circle when they weren’t with Neytiri, Neteyam had the chance to take a breath. 

In the same way Tsireya had caught Lo’ak’s eyes, you had captured Neteyam’s attention. 

He started to learn your ways more than the Metkayina ways he was meant to be studying. He learned the boulders you favored when they appeared during low tide, and those you favored during eclipse. He learned your favorite paths to swim, and which you hadn’t explored yet. 

And boy, it made him laugh when he’d trail you to one of said favorite spots, only for you to dive into the water without even blinking, not realizing he’d been following you. 

Selective hearing, maybe, or pure tunnel vision, you usually only noticed the things you were interested in, or the things that were directly in your eyesight. Neteyam was worth noticing, of course, you just hadn’t laid eyes on him yet up close, and you hadn’t yet realized the irony of the one person you were destined for being the one thing you had failed to notice. 

Like two moons passing. Two arrows firing towards the same target. Now, Neteyam was just holding his breath, waiting for the two of you to collide. 

If you would ever open your skxawng eyes and notice him, for Eywa’s sake. 

It took you a solid week to finally realize he existed. And the only way he managed to accomplish this was waiting for you to take your spot on a boulder during a particularly sunny afternoon. He dove in from the shoreline, scanning the ocean floor for something he knew would peak your interest, and found a smooth, polished sea stone that glistened like crystal. If it wasn’t for you, he would’ve kept it. 

He’d grabbed it from the sand, and rubbed it clean with a few swipes of his fingers. It was the size of his palm and oval shaped, with no imperfections. When he turned it in his hand, it seemed to sparkle, reflecting the colors of the ocean and the whiteness of the sand. When he passed it by his face, he could see the yellow of his eyes reflected on its surface. Special, and perfect, and new, it was strange the way the stone reminded him of you. 

He was positive you hadn’t found something like this yet. 

He pushed from the floor with his feet, aiming straight for the boulder he could see you sitting on, your feet dipped in the water beneath you. Slowly, he eased to the surface and emerged from the water. 

Your eyes flicked to him, narrowing when you noticed who it was. A low hiss left your lips, but Neteyam just…smiled. 

You cocked your head, eyes still narrowed, skeptical of the stranger as he swam towards you. As he approached, he raised his hands, one still closed around something. 

“What is that?” You gestured. “In your hand.”

Neteyam eased up towards the boulder and grabbed your wrist, extending your palm towards him, and placed the smooth stone within your grasp. 

“For you,” he breathed. Still smiling. 

You stared at the stone in your hands, flipping it between your palms and holding it up towards the afternoon light, allowing it to glint in your eyes. Neteyam just grinned, watching your increasing awe in what he’d found. 

When you finally met his gaze, and he was still beaming up at you with a toothy grin like you’d never seen before, you couldn’t help but blush and gaze back at the stone in your hands.

“Thank you,” you murmured. 

Neteyam nodded, pushing off from the rock. He still wore that same bright smile. 

As he floated back towards the shore where Kiri and Tuk were playing in the sand, he touched his forehead and released his palm towards you in a silent gesture. 

I see you. 

You could feel the heat spread across your cheeks. Turning your attention back towards the stone in your hands, you tried your hardest to keep your gaze from flicking back and forth towards Neteyam as he swam for his sisters on the shore. 

Tried, and failed. 

The way his deep blue skin seemed to ripple through the ocean water, instead of blending in like yours. The swing of his arms, and the dance of his braids as they floated behind him. 

You could still feel the cool, smooth surface of the beautiful new treasure he’d brought you as it lay in your palms. And yet, your eyes stayed glued to him as he emerged from the water, stumbling a bit in the sand when he tried to shake the water from his braids. You chuckled, rolling your eyes. 

Definitely a skxawng.

Later that evening, you placed Neteyam’s rock on a shelf in your marui, right in the middle of all of your favorite treasures. Tilting your head, you studied its presence among the rest of your collection, noting the way it reflected the colors of all the shells nearby, brightening their shades and making its own rainbow on the floor of the marui below you, taking the best pieces of each and turning it into something new and brighter. In all the time you’d picked pieces from the sandy ocean floor, you hadn’t found anything quite like this. 

Neteyam had definitely gotten your attention. 

The next day, you returned to the same boulder, sitting in silence as Kiri wandered the shore behind you. The rock was warm beneath you, and as you lay flat against its surface to bask in the sun, you heard a light splashing that was distinctly un-wave-like coming from your right. 

“I know you’re there,” you sighed. 

A chuckle came from the same direction as the splashing, and you felt a presence ease up from the water and climb across the boulder to lay next to you. 

“How’s it going, water girl?” 

Water girl. 

And thus, your most recent nickname. You had to chuckle a little; only a skxawng like Neteyam would come up with a name like “water girl”. But alas, it did have a certain ring to it, and of the many names you’d had over the years, something in the way he said it made your insides flutter in a strange way you’d never known before. 

It wasn’t paysmung, that was for sure. But it would do. 

“Never better, tree boy.”

Another chuckle. 

“Tree boy?”

You finally turned your head and opened your eyes to find him as close as he could possibly get without actually touching. His wide, yellow eyes were mere inches from your own, beads of ocean water still clinging to the tips of his eyelashes, and glistening from his forehead. 

You couldn’t find it in your heart to try and lie to yourself - he was kind of pretty. 

You smiled. “Water girl, tree boy. It fits.”

Neteyam smiled, and up close his smile was even brighter. It was effervescent, glowing like the rock he’d brought you the day before, and you couldn’t help but grin in response. 

“Fair enough,” he shrugged, closing his eyes and turning his face towards the sun overhead, letting the warmth of the midday dry his skin. 

And just like that, a peaceful silence settled in the air.

It wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, but as you watched the rise and fall of his chest, and the glisten of his cheeks as the light hit their peak, you swore a school of fish was swimming through your stomach. One of his hands rested gently against his stomach, lifting and sinking as he took slow, deep breaths. If you didn’t know any better, you could have sworn he was asleep. 

His eyes fluttered open, and you snapped your eyes shut, feigning that they’d been that way the entire time, and that you hadn’t been staring at him as if committing his features to memory. You heard him chuckle softly, and when your eyes opened, he too was scanning your features. 

As you watched his eyes flick from the top of your head to the pinnacle of your chest, where your neck dipped and curved into a hollow at its base, you felt your pulse quicken and a small ball of tension seemed to roll through the air around you. The school of fish in your stomach turned into a full swarm, dancing and spinning and tickling your insides. 

No one - quite literally no one - had ever made you feel this strange sort of tension just from existing. 

But in the same way you found him kind of pretty, he too was entirely raptured by your beauty. In the way the darker skin around your shoulders and hairline turned soft and creamy towards the center of your face. In the fullness of your lips, and the way they parted softly as he gazed at you. In the way the color of your eyes matched the blue of the ocean like no one else he’d seen, as if you were part of the water itself.

He turned toward you, resting himself on an elbow, eyes still scanning for any hesitation from you. But you were frozen, still as the rock beneath you, as he brought a hand up to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

He started to smile, and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, there was a commotion from the shore. You both sat up, tilting your heads to watch as Ao’nung approached Kiri as she lay in the shallows, three other boys following him.

Neteyam’s stare instantly hardened. 

“I’ll be back,” he growled. “Stay here.”

You tried to reach for him, but he dove into the water before you could grab his wrist, swimming for the shore just as Lo’ak approached the group from the other end of the beach. 

You watched as he emerged from the water, as he shoved Ao’nung away from Lo’ak, and prodded him with a finger to the chest. Ao’nung raised his hands, and as Neteyam pulled Lo’ak and Kiri away, you allowed a brief release of breath. 

And then Lo’ak punched Ao’nung in the face. 

Three times. 

You were already on your feet when Ao’nung hit the sand, but when Neteyam scratched his head and leapt into the fray, you dove into the water in an instant. 

You had just reached the shore when Lo’ak was being pulled by his tail, grasping the nearest Na’vi by the ear. After all, when Lo’ak was grabbed, he tended to grab right back, and with tenfold force. Even you knew this. 

Kiri was safe, and fine, on the edge of the fight and trying not to laugh. Neteyam had a clear edge over another boy, and had him pinned by the full force of his body weight. And while no one at noticed your arrival yet, when you walked right up to Ao’nung and grabbed him by the queue, jerking him away, everyone stopped moving as Ao’nung let out a particularly girlish squeal. 

Ao’nung’s eyes widened when he realized who had grabbed him.

“That’s…enough,” you growled. “Honestly, behaving like a child.”

You released Ao’nung’s braid, tossing it from your hands. You could feel Neteyam’s eyes boring holes in the back of your skull, Lo’ak’s too. But the way Ao’nung was completely baffled by your intervention, when you had done nothing of the sort for years, had a strange sort of pride swelling in your chest.

You were not one for fighting. Eywa, you weren’t even one for words. Ao’nung only knew of you as the silent freak, who was not even fun to pick on because you simply didn’t respond. 

Suddenly, you’d barged right in, and while Neteyam had managed to get them to back off, you had Ao’nung gaping like a fish. 

“Three of you,” you continued. “Against one. Really upstanding behavior, Ao’nung.”

Ao’nung’s eyes narrowed, and the surprise wore off. 

But still, you kept speaking, tilting your head and matching his squint.

“Shall I fetch your father?”

Ao’nung instantly closed the distance between you, puffing his chest and squaring his jaw with yours. 

“That’s rich,” he leered, “coming from the biggest freak of them all. You’re even worse than Kiri.”

Before you even had a chance to respond, and before the telltale tears could well in your eyes, your gaze was interrupted as Neteyam quite literally forced his way between you. He shoved Ao’nung aside for the second time, with such force that Ao’nung stumbled into the water. 

This time, however, Neteyam kept one arm wrapped securely around your waist, and his tail around your upper thigh. 

You were pressed flush to him, as if you were a second skin, giving you a front row seat to the clench of Neteyam’s jaw. 

“Stop. Leave her alone.” 

Ao’nung studied his surroundings. The three others still hadn’t stood from the sand, where they lay with hands clutching their various injuries. Lo’ak stood between them and Kiri, and despite the slight sway of his stance, his fists were clenched and his brow was hardened in a gaze eerily similar to Neteyam’s own stare. 

And what was worse - from over Neteyam’s broad shoulder, you could faintly make out the silhouettes of Jake, Ronal, and Tonowari approaching from the edge of the village. 

They didn’t look happy. 

Ao’nung turned to his friends, and gave a slight gesture. 

“Let’s go.”

They left, leaving you still pressed to Neteyam, your hand now resting against his bicep. It was warm beneath your fingertips, and you could feel the ripple of his muscle beneath your touch as he let go of you, replacing the smooth skin of his back with a firm grip on your waist as his eyes turned to meet your own. 

“Go,” he murmured, voice lowered as if no one could hear. “Go back to the rock. I’ll meet you soon. I have to talk to my dad.”

You nodded, looking past him as Jake stopped halfway to you, just as Ao’nung passed him with the three others. You had only seconds before he would reach you. 

Your eyes returned to his, dipping below to where a cut had opened in his lower lip. 

“Will you be alright?”

He nodded. “I’ll be fine. Go.”

Reluctantly, you slid from under his grasp, and turned back towards the water. You turned briefly to Kiri and Lo’ak, making sure they too were alright, before you jogged away and leapt into the water, swimming for the same boulder you’d just come from. 

You stopped halfway to catch your breath, and turned your head to where Neteyam was following Jake back towards the village. Jake had a firm grip on Lo’ak’s upper arm, and was tugging him along the sand, wearing the same scowl he’d had moments prior. 

Neteyam’s head was hung low, his fist pressed to his cut lip, braids only barely swinging as he trudged behind his father. 

You sighed. As you turned back to finish the brief swim to your boulder, you sent a silent prayer. Hoping Jake would go easy on them - particularly on Neteyam, who had only stepped in to protect Lo’ak, and who would have succeeded had the odds been more evenly matched. 

When you reached the boulder and climbed out of the water towards the surface, you stood for a moment, watching the now miniature figures of Jake, Lo’ak, and Neteyam disappear into the shadows of village. You sighed again, and having hoped you’d be able to see them from your small vantage point, you sank down onto the rock. 

Feeling perfectly hopeless. 

If anything, you wished you had done more. You wished you had followed Neteyam immediately, or even more that you had managed to grab him. That you had dove into the water together, and approached the group at the right moment. 

You wished, more than anything, that you hadn’t waited. 

It was starting to gnaw at you - that your life seemed like a bottomless pit of waiting. That you had no power other than to stand still at life’s rocky edge, helpess to do anything other than watch as moments passed you by. You were the silent one; the powerless one. The freak, as Ao’nung had put it. And even if you tried, you could quite literally do nothing to help as those around you seemed to suffer. 

Now more than ever, this gnawing deep within started to feel more and more like a heavy weight. It hadn’t bothered you until Neteyam had entered the picture, but the vision of his split lip, and the bruises beneath his right eye, and the scrapes on his chest now made the tears you’d held back come bursting to the surface. 

You had only known him in actuality for no more than a day, and yet the way he’d come bursting to your rescue had you not only confused, and perfectly and completely smitten, but utterly heartbroken that he’d even needed to do so. 

And moreover, entirely positive that you weren’t worth saving. 

Kiri was - there was no question about that. Lo’ak definitely was, especially when he was that outnumbered and still managed to do considerable damage to his assailants. 

And then…there was Neteyam. 

Neteyam, who had successfully stopped the fight with nothing more than his presence. 

Neteyam, who when you arrived had Roxto pinned beneath him, who had Roxto powerless to fight back as he swung punch after punch. Who would have won for the second time if there had been one less to account for. 

Neteyam who, in truth, did not need your help winning. 

You had yourself fully convinced of this by the time you heard a light splashing coming from your left, and growing closer. You felt the lump in your throat swell as Neteyam eased his way onto the boulder, and that same lump grew larger when he grunted at the effort of bringing himself to your side. 

That groan, that all-encapsulating sound of pain, had you nearly shattering as your eyes opened, and you sat up to meet him face to face. 

When his eyes met yours, and you came in full view of the now purple bruise beneath his eye, and the cut in his lip that was seeping blood, and the scratches on his chest that extended the full length of his right pectoral muscle, you made a strange squelching sound, and plopped your head to his left shoulder. 

If you could have only seen the way Neteyam’s eyes widened at your touch, and softened at the feeling of wetness on his skin when he realized you were crying, you would have only broken more completely. 

Neteyam was not used to girls he liked crying on him, that much was certain. In fact, Neteyam didn’t have much time for girls period. So the fact that you seemed to be upset - over him - was entirely perplexing, confusing, and perfectly heartbreaking, all at the same time. 

Sure, he’d wanted you to notice him. Sure, he’d wanted you to return his pathetic attempts at affection, that he hadn’t yet realized you didn’t find pathetic in the least. Sure, he’d wanted to bring the two of you closer, and he’d wanted nothing more than your worlds to finally collide.

But not like this. 

Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t particularly enjoy standing up for Lo’ak day in and day out - but that was his job. Literally, as the oldest brother, it was in his internal code to defend his younger siblings. It was his job to get Lo’ak out of the trouble he somehow managed to always be getting into.

But this - this was new. This was different, and ugly, and soul-wrenching. He loathed the feeling that ate him up inside now, as he brought up a hand to rest against the back of your head. 

He’d seen Jake do this for Neytiri many times. He’d seen Jake comfort Kiri this way, and he’d seen it work. 

What he hadn’t picked up on was the mirroring of pain that Jake felt when he had to comfort those closest to him. Realistically, Jake just hadn’t shown this, especially when his kids were around. It would have been helpful to know how much the sound of you crying - over him - would absolutely obliterate him, but then again, Jake probably would have never discussed it, even if Neteyam asked. It would have been helpful to know that by comforting you, that by taking away your pain, he would only be absorbing it into his own skin. 

So, Neteyam did what he knew how to. 

With the one hand still resting on your head, he brought the other to the small of your back, pulling you in as closely as he could, stroking your skin in soothing, circular motions. Hushing you, whispering in your ear, and trying with all his might to get you to stop crying. To make you stop being sad if he could. 

Because as he thought about it, he realized he hadn’t yet seen you smile. 

Actually smile. 

You’d grinned, of course, and bared your teeth at him in a hiss. You’d smiled with your lips closed, and he’d seen you let out small smiles, only when you were around Kiri or Tuk. And he definitely hadn’t seen you laugh yet. 

The moment he realized this, he decided right then and there that if he had any say in the matter, you wouldn’t ever be sad like this again. That he would never, ever give you a reason to cry over him again. 

And just like it was his duty to protect his siblings, Neteyam made a solemn vow to himself, the ocean, and Eywa - and frankly, anyone who was listening - to add you to that list. 

He would never again stand for a skxawng like Ao’nung, or anyone else, making you feel like you were less than the perfect being you were. And he certainly wouldn’t allow anyone else to ever again make you feel like you were a freak. To Neteyam, you were as perfect as the stone he’d brought you the first time you met, and the moment you were done crying, he was going to make sure you knew it. 

And if Ao’nung wasn’t already bruised into the ground from Lo’ak’s powerful right hook, then Neteyam was going to put him there, chief’s son or not.

Neteyam let loose the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. For the first time since he’d climbed up to meet you on the rock, his focus shifted from where you sat silently, head still resting on his shoulder, tears slowed and breathing returning to an even keel, to the salty water stinging the cut on his lower lip.

You felt him shift, as he brought the hand that had been resting on your lower back up to his lip, and you felt him tense beneath you at the self-inflicted pressure.  A low groan left him, and you finally had to tilt back from your spot against his shoulder to study his face. He was blinking from the pain, his tongue rubbing at the offending cut, smearing a trail of blood across his chin. 

You brought your hand to his, pulling it away from his face to give you full view of where his once perfect lower lip bore a gash the size of your thumb. You winced, and brought your free hand to his cheek, stroking with your thumb the area that had bruised beneath his eye. And without thinking, you leaned in, gently pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth where there was no cut. 

Perhaps you thought it would make him feel better. Perhaps you thought you could take away some of his pain. Perhaps you were hoping for some sort of redemption, after you had behaved quite unlike yourself for the past few hours. After you hand dissolved at the mere sight of him, and had sat there like a skxawng with your head in his shoulder, your salty tears soaking into his skin. 

Still, you had no idea what came over you.  

Now though, as you studied his face, and his still widened eyes from your half-kiss, and ran a gentle finger over the scratches on his chest, you felt your normal steely resolve return somewhere deep within you. 

“You’re hurt,” you murmured.  

Neteyam shrugged. “It’s fine.” 

As he spoke, the blood was beginning to pool, even from such minimal effort. You shook your head and stood from the rock, pulling him up with you by the hand. 

“Come. Let’s get you patched up.” 

You dragged him down the line of boulders, chuckling softly when he nearly missed a jump, stumbling slightly from the rocky surface. As you reached the outskirts of the village, you both slowed from a jog to an easy walk, Neteyam only needing to extend his gait to come level with you, his arm brushing against yours as you made your way to your marui. 

You had to swallow down the slight spark of excitement building in your throat at his touch, and forced your focus to narrow on the injured boy following you. 

This was no easy feat, to be sure. But as you entered your marui, and gestured for Neteyam to sit on your mat, you felt that same steely resolve take over as you gathered your supplies. 

When you turned back towards him, a pile of bowls and dressings in your hand, Neteyam yet again had his hand against the cut, and his tongue running against it’s edge.

“Stop that,” you barked, “You’re making it worse.”

Neteyam’s hand dropped to rest in his lap, and as you knelt before him, organizing your supplies at your side, you could feel him watching you. Studying you.

You chose for the moment to ignore his piercing gaze. Instead, you brought a hand to his ankle, gently pushing it aside where he had been sitting cross-legged, allowing you to scoot your way in between his legs. He allowed his arms to stretch out behind him, resting the majority of his weight on the heels of his hands. 

When he had made himself mostly comfortable, you started with the scratch on his lip. If only just to get him to stop messing with it. 

You cleaned it first, wiping away the smears of blood, and after you’d cleaned and sanitized it, you gently applied pressure with a clean cloth. 

“Hold here,” you whispered, and Neteyam obeyed, bringing one hand to rest upon the cloth. 

This gave you the chance to apply a smooth, buttery healing salve to the bruises beneath his eyes, and those smattering the skin around his neck and chest. Next, you applied the same salve gently to the scrapes on the skin of his chest, and wrapped a bandage from around his shoulder to cover them, and to allow the salve to seep into the cuts so they would heal. The muscles in his chest rippled beneath your touch, and a low hiss left his lips from the slight, momentary sting as you finished your work. 

Finally, you gently pulled his hand away from his lip, removing the cloth with it. 

The bleeding had stopped from the pressure, and the wound was now clotted. You took the same salve on the pad of your forefinger, and eased closer to Neteyam, your face mere inches from his own. Studying the wound, you brought a hand beneath his chin to steady him, and bending forward, you flicked your eyes up to meet his. 

“This will sting again,” you muttered, waiting for him to gently nod.

When he closed his eyes, you went to work, applying the salve as quickly and gently as you could so the sting wouldn’t last. 

You didn’t even notice that as you finished your work, removing the bandage from around his chest where the salve had soaked into his skin, Neteyam could not stop staring at you. You didn’t notice, that is, until you bent back, resting on your heels, and came face to face with him.

This time, Neteyam had closed the distance between you, his knees resting against yours, and has he brought one hand to tangle in your hair, his other hand swept a stray strand behind your ear for the second time that day. 

And just like that, your breath was stolen from you in a small sigh that left your lips. 

For a moment, everything seemed to pause. 

For a moment, it was just you and him, eyes connected. His piercing gaze seemed to search yours, eyes flicking back and forth, scanning for any sign of hesitation from you. One of his hands rested on your cheek, and the other rested against the back of your neck, still tangled in your thick hair. He blinked once, twice, still studying you for any sign of pause, or resistance.

And other than the fact that you had stopped breathing almost entirely, there was none. 

Your heart didn’t even have time to skip a full beat before Neteyam brought his lips to yours. 

For a moment, all you could taste was the tangy bitterness of the salve against your lips. For a moment, it seemed as if your lips hadn’t actually met yet, the salve creating a slippery barrier between you where your lips couldn’t find traction. 

And then Neteyam was pulling away, just for a moment, laughing breathlessly, grabbing the cloth from beside him and wiping away the salve from his lips and yours.

You laughed, really honestly laughed as he palmed the cloth against your lips, muffling the sound only slightly, and you squeezed your eyes shut as he brushed the cloth against your lips. 

He was laughing too, and once the salve was gone, the both of you had to pause, catching your breath. 

Of course your first real kiss would be tainted by a skxawng with a cut on his lip, that you had just spent time trying to heal. 

When both of you had caught your breath, Neteyam’s eyes met yours, and he smiled at you. You already thought his smile was blinding, but now, you swore you could see the stars reflected in his wide grin. You couldn’t help but smile in return, a breathy chuckle leaving your lips. 

“You skxawng,” you breathed. “I just fixed that cut.”

Again, Neteyam closed the distance between you, hands gripping beneath your thighs to draw you into his lap, where you wrapped your legs around his waist and draped your arms over his shoulders. As you rested there, safe and warm within his grasp, your gaze meeting his, Neteyam let loose a deep, weighted sigh. And again, his hand came up to rest against your cheek, his thumb gently stroking against your lower lip. 

He shrugged, grinning still. 

“I don’t care.”

And for the second time that evening, with bated breath, Neteyam closed the short distance between you and brought his lips to yours.

This time, you had the upper hand. This time, he angled his head to parallel with your own, allowing the kiss to instantly deepen. This time, his hands gripped and massaged at the skin of your thighs, coaxing a sigh from your lips that met with his own heavy breathing in a tangle of knotted air. 

This time, instead of the bitter salve, all you could taste, all you could feel was him. 

He tasted sweet, and minty, with a salty edge that reminded you of the ocean. And while his lower lip had been marred by a deep cut - which you would be thanking Ao’nung for later - the rest of his lips were plump and soft and perfect against your own. Like molten lead, or a pair of pearls fused together with time, his lips against yours matched like two pieces of the same cloth.

And slowly, a knot began to grow within you, deep within your core, that had you positively certain you couldn’t get enough of him. 

Neteyam couldn’t get enough of you either. When your small, soft hands scratched against his chest, he let out a low moan that he was positive he’d never made before, and he grabbed at you with a force like he was going to sink you into his skin and never let you go, like he couldn’t exist without you.

And maybe, in truth, he could, but as you pushed from his lap and grabbed him by the neck, pushing him against the mat beneath you in a furious tangle of teeth, lips, and limbs, Neteyam was absolutely certain that while he could live without you, he definitely didn’t want to. 

It was there, on the floor of your marui, that you stayed with him until eclipse had long passed. Until your lips had become bone dry, and his cut had come open again. Until all the breath had sucked from your lungs, in a way you’d never felt before in all your years mastering breathing where there was no air. 

It was there that Jake and your father found you both, dead asleep, tangled up together and splayed out on your mat. A blanket covered you, and one arm was wound around Neteyam’s chest, your legs wound between his.

Jake hadn’t seen Neteyam sleep this peacefully in years - not since Lo’ak had started walking. 

His eyes met your father’s, and they shared a knowing grin, before backing out of the marui to meet with Neytiri and Kxali on the edge of the village. Neither of them had the heart to interrupt the two sleeping teenagers, and both of them seemed to have a deep understanding that while the two of you had grown up apart, now, you had found each other. Now, you had found a small slice of peace, and though they didn’t particularly enjoy the thought of the mischief you two would get up to together, it paled in comparison to the thought of forcing you two apart. 

Neither Jake nor Elpawe were going to let that happen. 

Of course, Lo’ak took the mickey out of Neteyam when he returned to his family’s marui the next morning. The Mighty Warrior had spent all night, tangled up with a girl? In Lo’ak’s eyes, Neteyam deserved some teasing. 

Neteyam took it well as always, shoving Lo’ak gently by the chest, playfully grinning as Lo’ak shoved him right back, sending Neteyam stumbling over the marui’s edge and right into you. 

You caught him by his arms, steadying him. 

Seeing Lo’ak behind him grinning like the devil, and surrounded by his family, you tilted your head and gestured towards Neytiri and Jake. 

“I see you,” you spoke, bringing your finger from your forehead towards Neteyam’s parents. 

They nodded, returning the favor, and you did not particularly like the knowing grin on Jake’s face, or the steam that seemed to be coming from Neytiri’s ears at the sight of her oldest son with a stranger from another clan. But when Jake placed a hand on Neytiri’s knee, she softened, and smiled up at Neteyam.

“Go,” she said, “And be back before eclipse this time, please.”

Neteyam nodded, not speaking, his face turning a brilliant shade of red. Chuckles arose from his siblings, and you could hear the entire family dissolve into laughter as Neteyam tugged you by the hand towards the beach. 

When you reached the shoreline, plopping down into the sand, Neteyam sitting next to you, you finally let loose the laughter you’d been holding in. 

Your head tilted back, you let out a loud, barking laugh, shaking your head, and looked to Neteyam.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, in between a fit of giggles. “I’m so sorry.”

The way he was looking at you, brows quirked, studying you again, made you remember that first day on the rock, when you had studied him the same way as if you were committing his features to memory. You didn’t realize of course, that Neteyam actually was committing your bright smile and the sound of your laugh to memory, somewhere deep in his mind where he would never forget it. 

And then he smiled, and laughed with you, and tackled you into the sand, sending you both into another fit of howling laughter. 

When he pulled back, only for a moment, he smiled down at you, and waited for you to smile in return, before connecting his lips with yours. This kiss was new, and different - passionate, tender, and slow, his lips seemed to dance with yours. Not only that, but he brought one leg between your own, the other pressed firmly into the sand beneath you, and his entire upper body seemed fused with yours in a perfect molding of skin against skin, like roots digging beneath the earth. 

Again, you found peace within each other’s touch. The world around you disappeared until it was just you and Neteyam. Even the sand beneath you faded away, and all you could feel was his chest pressed to yours, and his hands gripping at your waist and your thighs and anywhere he could easily reach. You were certain he was going to leave bruises behind where his fingers dug into your skin, but if you were positive of one thing, it was that you didn’t mind. 

If you could have one wish, if Eywa could grant you one thing, it was that you could stay here forever with him on the warm sand, tangled up in his arms, his braids tickling against your cheeks, his smile mirroring yours when he pulled away, breathless and sighing. 

When he did pull away to breathe, you didn’t let him stay apart from you for very long. 

In the same way he’d grasped at you like you were a lifeline, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled him back into you, reconnecting your lips in a flurry of motion, and wound your legs around his hips, giving him access to the soft skin of your thighs. 

And if you were feeling particularly bold, you’d grasp him with your legs and tackle him into the sand, pinning him beneath you in a wild spray of hair and limbs and breathless laughter. 

There you’d stay for as long as you could, hands against his chest and lips fused together like iron, his own palms exploring places they hadn’t before, running up and down your back, and your thighs, and the roundness of your bum, squeezing and grasping at any soft parts of your skin that he could reach. 

You’d let him, sighing breathlessly against his lips. And sometimes, you’d pull him into a sitting position, grabbing at the nape of his neck. The more you started to explore each other, the more you discovered things you liked about his supple skin, and the more marks he left on your own, in the soft spots where your neck met your shoulder. You too left a few marks of your own, in little scratches on his back, or in the equally buttery soft skin of his neck and shoulders. The more marks you left behind, the more beautiful noises you coaxed from his lips, and the more you enjoyed peppering his skin with brands claiming him as yours.

Days, and weeks, and months passed like this, in a beautiful blur of young love. 

Neither of you planned for Neteyam to leave you behind. 

And what was worse, you hadn’t even been there when it happened. You were there for his funeral, off somewhere in the water as Jake and Neytiri laid him to rest with your ancestors. As Lo’ak and Payakan swam by, brother with brother. When Jake and Neytiri went to the Spirit Tree, you followed them, tucking yourself deep into the branches where they couldn’t see you, and connecting your queue to one of the glowing palms.

When Jake found you on the beach a few days later, crying into your hands, he had plopped down in the sand next to you in a manner eerily similar to Neteyam. 

When he’d wrapped an arm around you, bringing you into his chest, he told you - and only you - what he’d seen in the visions the Spirit Tree gave him the night of Neteyam’s funeral. 

Somewhere in the middle of his story, your tears had slowed. Somewhere during his tale, you’d looked up from your hands, wiping away your tears, and leaned into his strong embrace. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Jake uttered in reply, squeezing you a bit tighter. “I’m sorry too. He loved you, you know.”

You nodded, sniffling. 

“I know. I loved him, too.”

Later that evening, as your mother came and kissed you goodnight, wiping away a few stray tears from your eyes, she lay next to you and sang you to sleep with the same song she’d sung during your early years. 

You’d cried in her arms for several minutes, and she’d whispered in your ear just as Neteyam had. It had only made you cry more, how little things were reminding you of him, chipping away at the gaping hole he’d left behind. 

As you finally drifted off, your mother still stroking your hair, she’d whispered to you in the silence, just as she’d done when you were a baby. 

“Hush, paysmung. Listen to the ocean,” she murmured softly. “He is in the water now. He is with you.” 

- -

You padded along the beach, one hand held above your brow to shield you from the sun, toes digging into the sand as you hopped along, jumping over shells the waves were leaving behind. The trees blew in the wind, and the waves were on your left, crashing against the sand and pulling back into the ocean. 

Your hair blew in the breeze behind you, cooling you from the warmth of the sun, and you turned, smiling, to watch as Neteyam came jogging up to meet you. 

Oh, Neteyam. 

He was even more stunning in your dreams, if it were even possible, and his effervescent smile still had the power to make you smile in return. 

He came running up to you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest, lifting you off your feet and spinning you in circles. Making you smile, and laugh, your head ducking into his shoulder as your long hair tangled with his braids. 

When he set you back on your feet, the both of you slightly dizzy, you smiled up at him, your arms still wound around his neck. His arms were still tightly around your waist, strong and muscular, pressing you flush against him. 

One of his hands released a braid from where it had stayed tangled in your long, wavy hair, but while one of his arms stayed wrapped around you, his free hand came to rest softly against your cheek. 

“How’s it going, water girl?” He breathed, smiling. 

Suddenly, a great sadness overcame you, and even in your dreams you felt a lump rise up in your throat, constricting you. 

“My Neteyam,” you croaked. “Why did you have to leave?”

“Ah, water girl,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes, and brought his forehead to yours, your breathing tangling together as a few stray tears escaped down your cheeks. When your eyes finally opened, tears were spilling down his cheeks too, and you brought your thumbs to swipe them away.

You were allowed to cry - Neteyam was not. 

“It’s okay,” you gasped. “I’ll be okay.”

Neteyam smiled sadly at you, brushing your hair from your face. The both of you could tell you didn’t quite believe your own words. 

“I know. I know you’ll be okay, water girl.”

He brought his lips to yours, pressing them together in slow, tender circles. A breeze blew through, sending your hair blowing wildly behind you, the beads of Neteyam’s braids clicking against each other in the wind. And still, you did not break apart for as long as you could bear, only separating from him when the both of you could no longer breathe. 

Once again, he brought his forehead to yours. 

“I can’t stay,” he murmured. “You have to wake up soon.”

Your chest started feeling as if it was going to cave in, and a panic rose up within you like a great wave. 

“No,” you choked out. “I don’t want to, I don’t want you to go.”

“I know.” 

Neteyam ran his thumb across your cheeks, swiping away another wave of tears from your skin. 

“I know, my love.”

A great wave crashed from behind him, splashing up against your calves, tangling you in the water. 

“It’s time,” Neteyam sighed. 

“No,” you protested. “No.”

You grabbed onto him as tightly as you could, digging your face into his shoulder and pulling him into you. 

“Please don’t leave me,” you cried between sobs, “Please. I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know. But it’s time. The ocean is calling,” Neteyam said as he separated from you, holding both of your hands in his. 

Another great wave crashed onto the shore, rising up around you and pulling Neteyam from your grasp. 

“Neteyam, no!”

Neteyam looked out at the ocean, and turned back to you, a bright smile once again adorning his beautiful features. He reached for you, your fingers barely touching his, the ocean rising and pulling the two of you apart. 

“Don’t worry, my love. I’m with you.”

As he swam off into the water, you watched him until he was a small speck on the horizon. It was only then that he turned, and waved at you in a silent goodbye. 

As you waved back, the ocean swelled around you, wrapping you in a tight embrace that smelled distinctly like him.

Don’t worry, water girl. I’m never very far. 

- -

ow this horted

thank you for reading 

xoxo, carrie

[singaroundelay]

MORE META because I have moar thoughts about this week. (And it's a long one so buckle up).

I want to talk about the way Ted and Trent interactions have moved past colleagues and are tiptoeing into relationship waters. (Yep, this is a 100% unapologetic tinfoil hat post that is made that much prettier thanks to casismybestfriend's gorgeous gifs.)

Just look at these two — If they're not already together they are so very close to being an unofficially-but-officially together thing.

I mean, I've written how many fics that use the current canon + missing scenes that proves how they could 100% already be in a relationship without anyone else knowing.

That door between their offices closes. Roy has slammed it shut on any number of different occasions. We see Colin pulling it shut because he wants to talk to Trent in private. There is no earthly reason that the door should be open while Ted is having parent/teacher conferences. Ted should want privacy while he has these meetings (especially since Henry is failing science and who knows however many classes on top of it) while he does these calls with Michelle. And if Dr Jake is also listening in, fuck him.

But the door is open. Ted has invited Trent into this very personal part of his life.

Not to mention, Trent is paying attention to the meetings. He's not just working away, but he's also actively listening to what's being said. He's become involved in Ted's life beyond just this book about Richmond. Henry's grades shouldn't even register on Trent's radar, yet they do.

After Colin leaves and opens the door again (ignoring that Trent could've said to leave it closed so he could get work done) — Trent could've spun the opposite way to watch Colin leave. Instead, he turns back toward Ted, as if needing to check in on how the conference is going. (Note: he didn't miss much, just more of Ted's ridiculous puns that Trent will roll his eyes at but find so incredibly endearing anyways).

And here, the ending scene so perfectly bookends how they've both inserted themselves into each others' lives. There's a familiarity between the two. Ted is uncapping the whisky and Trent immediately approaches and holds out his mug — while at the same time Ted extends the bottle to Trent. There's no asking. Trent knows he'll get a drink and Ted knows Trent wants one and how much to pour. Not only that, Ted serves him first, even with his own glass right there!

It's the sort of interaction that you only get with the closest of friends. When you can just hold out a mug and know the other person is going to fill it. Knows how many fingers of whisky is just enough.

We'll end with that smirk on Trent's face. The flirtiest of flirty mcflirt smiles directed at Ted. Because Beard has his back to him and they can have this stolen moment together. A moment that, in fact is a call back to their first date dinner together. Trent choking on his food when Ted asks "what do you love"?

Back then, he accepted that it's writing he loves. Trent Crimm, who by now, has gone from loving writing to "love our chats" to "love that" — and is right against "I love you, Ted."

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished pt 14

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]

[Part 14/?? Word count: 2518 Cw: language]

—————

Loona and Blitzø had ‘discussed’ what their options were. That the discussion was held at full volume was a given with them. Loona wanted to break down the door, grab her sister and run. As satisfying as that would be, Blitzø had some inkling of consequences. First, that just because Scarlet and Vex hadn’t seen any security didn’t mean there wasn’t any. Second, if this ‘Slicker’ did have a hold on his employees' souls, busting heads wouldn’t help.

And third, Dina might not want to leave. Blitzø didn’t think that was likely, considering how she’d come to be there. But it was a possibility he’d have to keep in mind. She’d run away from Loona when the girls scented each other. He could imagine multiple reasons why she’d run back into the brothel, but they didn’t have anything concrete.

“Loonie, let’s have Scarlet and Vex make another trip.” She snapped at him in frustration, making him dodge around the couch. “Whoa, sweetie, I know you wanna get her out of there asap.” Another dodge as she flung a cushion at him. “I do too! I think more information on Dina specifically would be best!” A comical scramble and pratfall had the Hellhound pinning him to the floor.

“She’s been stuck there long enough Blitzø! And I’ve been working long enough to get her out! I can handle myself,” she said, with a desperate growl in her voice.

“I know you can! But being prepared can’t hurt. It’s why you two were planning ahead for when you’d age out, right?” She snarled but at least moved her teeth from his face. “And, if those two can request Dina that night, we can have them call you.” That made her sit back on her haunches.

Her eyes, bright crimson sclera and white pupils, looked at him hopefully even as she kept her expression in an angry snarl. “You think they can?” The question had an edge to it.

Blitzø nodded and sat up. “I’ve known them for ages. Neither of them are fighters but they’re two of the most capable demons I know.” At her flat disbelieving stare, he doubled down. “I shit you not! They’ve been running rings behind the harpy’s back for years. Scarlet especially can talk her way out of anything. And Vex is a sneaky bastard that has spooked Stolas more than once.”

Loona looked away, weighing their options. She stalked off to her room, unable to fully suppress the growl in her chest. “One more time. Then I’m rescuing my sister one way or another Blitzø,” she said firmly before retreating behind her door.

“Fuuuuuckin Christ,” Blitzø said under his breath as he fell back onto the floor. Getting chased around by any Hellhound for any reason would make most demons piss themselves. Maybe he should be glad she trusted him enough to fight back?

Whatever, he needed to text Stolas.

Loony sayd ys, axe Skalert and vxe wen thye can go aigin

He didn’t have to wait long for the prince’s reply.

Scarlet says they’ll be able to in three days. She wants to space any excursions out so they don’t seem desperate for anything and I agree. I take it you mentioned the possibilities of obtaining Dina as their audience and a potential phone call if they can? I assume that would be the reason our dear temperamental Moonbeam would agree.

Blitzø hadn’t realized Stolas had given his daughter a nickname. It matched his nickname for Via, Starfire. Despite the stressful situation, it made the imp smile, if only a little.

yeh, seyd shrs gonna gif em 1 moar go, theen sheds recsuung dIna

Oh dear. I understand her urgency but we had best have a plan in place before she destroys the building. Not only is she a formidable melee fighter from what you’ve described, her growing knowledge of the arcane means she has other resources than her physical strength. I don’t think she has quite grasped that as of yet. However, an emotionally volatile confrontation could trigger inadvertent usage of her power.

Gud 2 now my bby grl can kiik ass and expold shirt wth hr brian

Not the reaction I would have expected to discovering one’s daughter can level a city block in a fit of rage, but you never fail to surprise me Blitzy.

>:p <3

<3

Now he had to convince Loona to wait three days.

It helped to remind her that Dina’s safety could hinge on what Loona did (or didn’t) do. That combined with the possibility of a phone call and some actual administrative work for I.M.P. kept her occupied enough.

Scarlet had shifted around her work schedule, letting the rest of the staff know that Vex was taking her out for another date. Stella’s pet Hellhounds were definitely watching all staff members and feeding any news back to her. The household servants had seen the disheveled state the pair returned in last time and the consensus seemed to be they found a new favorite sex club.

Loona and Blitzø were back at the palace for the night. It wasn’t too out of character for him to split his time between the apartment and Stolas’s chambers, but the addition of Loona did result in questioning looks.

“Having to think up plausible excuses for what I do in my own home is getting quite frustrating,” Stolas said once they were ensconced in his chambers. Loona would be using the safe room while Blitzø spent the night with Stolas.

Blitzø was stretched out on the lounge, trying to not check his phone every five seconds. “This would all be a lot fucking easier if you kicked the feather duster out.” Stolas, currently examining the bookshelf, paused to glare at Blitzø. “Just saying’.”

“One crisis at a time darling.” He found the book he was looking for and handed it to Loona. The girl had been pacing around the room, her tail anxiously flicking behind her. “Here we are Moonbeam, read this while we wait. It’s a treatise on sigil enhancement that you should review.”

“Thanks Stolas, but shouldn’t I study it with Via?” The owl shook his head. “She won’t need it until she reveals her sigil. I want her focused on her current subject without adding anything superfluous.” Loona nodded and curled up into one of the chairs.

Her raised hackles, flattened ears, and swishing tail showed her agitation. But as she started puzzling out the runic text, she relaxed somewhat. She was even asking Stolas to clarify a few sections with unfamiliar symbols.

Blitzø started to tune them out; he was miles behind Via in magick knowledge and trying to catch up now seemed silly. Instead he retrieved his sketchbook from the safe room. Drawing his horse OC’s was a much better use of his time.

He was working on his current shipping chart when Vex’s ringtone broke the silence. “Oh shit!” His hand jerked, making an OTP line between Rickyroad and Blue Custard instead of Rickyroad and Maze Window. (Ricky and Blue would never work, they’re both too top even with all the tension from their one night stand.)

He could fix it later. He scampered to the phone and but it on speaker. “Vex? Lety? I’ve got you on speaker.”

“Blitzø, man, it’s good we got here early. Dina here has way too many thirsty fuckers coming round here.” Vex’s voice had a slightly distant quality from being on speaker. “Good thing we tipped so good last time, we got first pick.”

“The fact he basically got a paid night off helped too.” Scarlet was quieter but still audible.

Loona grabbed the phone before anyone else could answer. “Dina’s there? She’s with you now?!” Her voice was shaking and Blitzø could see her struggling to grip the device carefully. She was more than capable of crushing the phone. As it was, his ‘Ride Me’ case acquired new scratches.

There was a choked sob on the other end of the call. Some rustling sounds and soothing words from Scarlet followed. Then, shakily, “L-Loona?” The trio could hear the fear and exhaustion in the voice, mingled with a hint of hope.

“Dina! You’re ok- you’re alive…” Loona had been about to say ‘you’re okay’ but it was obvious her sister wasn’t. “Dina…I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner. We’ll get you out! I promise, I’ll save you this time, I tried before but I’ll do it now Dina-“

“No!” Dina’s yelp cut through her sister’s babble. “You can’t come here Loona. Slicker…you don’t know what he’s capable of!” She started breathing rapidly and they could hear the imps help her calm down. Loona had sunk to the floor at Dina’s adamant refusal, looking lost.

A shaky breath came through the phone speaker. “I don’t want you to get hurt by him. I signed a deal when I got here.” Stolas and Blitzø both perked up at the mention of her deal. “Once I pay off my debt I’ll be done with this place.” Blitzø snorted, certain that ‘debt’ was designed to inflate constantly and be unpayable.

Stolas had grabbed the sketchbook and started writing on a blank page. He ignored Blitzø’s protest and held up the book, instructions written in crayon. Loona blinked at her teacher and read it out loud. “Dina, did you make a deal or sign a contract?”

“Huh? What’s the difference…?” It sounded like Vex was urging her to continue. “I signed paperwork?”

Stolas scripted out another question as best he could with the crayon. “Was there any magick involved?” Loona asked slowly, having to parse his handwriting through the thick letters.

A swishing sound. “No, I don’t think so. Loona, what does it matter if it was magickal or not?” Everyone else on both sides of the call sighed in relief.

Loona, near tears of relief herself, managed a reply. “It matters a lot Dina. We can work with a paper contract.” Stolas held a talon to his beak. The Hellhound nodded. “I can’t say too much over the phone. I’ll…work something out. I won’t go on my own!” she said before Dina could object. “Please? Let me try?”

They could hear Dina start to cry. “Okay. Just… please please please be careful. I love you Loona.”

Loona was crying too. “I love you too Dina. We can talk more later.” She handed the phone to Blitzø as they heard rustling on the other end. Vex had his phone back too. The Hellhound curled back up into her chair, face buried in her arms and shoulders shaking.

Blitzø and Vex agreed they’d have another call in the early morning before the imp duo left. By then, Loona and the two men should have some sort of plan. Hanging up, the imp crouched next to his daughter. He didn’t touch her but he did call softly, “Loonie?”

She lifted her head just enough to look at him. “She didn’t want my help, Blitzø,” she managed through sobs. “She ran away from me and told me not to help. I’m the tough one, I’m supposed to protect her.”

Blitzø had to think of what he could possibly say, crouched there with a stricken look. “You’ve been protecting and looking for her because you love her.” She nodded. “She loves you right back. So she wants to protect you however she can. The best way Dina can do that is to keep you away from the bastard she’s got a contract with.”

Loona was still crying, but not as hard now. “I’m not surprised; she’s your sister Loonie. A self sacrificing protective streak seems like a family trait.”

She snorted and wiped her eyes. “Like you should talk Dad.” She saw the mess her running mascara made on her arm. “Fuck, that’s gonna take forever to get out of my fur!”

Stolas ushered her up and toward Blitzø’s room. “Why don’t you get cleaned up? If my darling Blitzy will allow you inside, you can make use of the bath.” Somewhat dazed, Blitzø let her through the door.

“I’m not imagining things, right Floof? She called me ‘Dad.’” Blitzø looked up at Stolas, his eyes big and gleaming with joy.

“Hmm, yes I believe she did. Although I do recommend not pointing that out to her if you ever want to hear it again. Now, let’s discuss our options while Loona washes up.”

By the time Loona reemerged in a sleep shirt and shorts, with the fur on one arm sticking up in weird directions, the other demons felt they had a workable plan. They were debating on the use of a disguise or not.

“Even among the Goetia I am a dashing and memorable figure. Do we really want me to waltz in there as I am?”

“Stolas. Babe. Most demons can’t tell one royal from another unless they work for one.” Blitzø punctuated his words with chops of his hand. “Best bet for intimidating or paying off this creep is to pull rank, so you gotta be there as a royal. We don’t have enough time to practice for fake name and one of us is gonna slip up if we try.”

“Wait, what are you plotting?” Loona shoved her way into the debate. Stolas gave her an overview of their plan. “I mean, I still wanna tear this ‘Slicker’ apart but that’ll probably work? I’m with Blitzø though, no magic disguise.” Stolas started to give a rebuttal but Loona shook her head. “You’ve taught me that the more complex a spell is, the more chances it’ll go wrong. Especially when you add new shit. Pretty sure that applies to the rest of life.” Stolas was left with his mouth hanging open.

“Better close that unless you want me to stick something in it,” Blitzø said, tapping the prince’s chin. “Ugh, gross!” Loona made a face as Stolas’s jaw snapped shut.

“Just wear the least fancy getup you’ve got Floof. No cape, no top hat.” Blitzø paused. “We’ll look through your closet. At least those rompers you like won’t be out of place.”

After that, there wasn’t much to do until Vex called around three in the morning. They each took a nap but couldn’t manage more than that. Stolas gave the valet and maid instructions before they gave the phones to the Hellhound siblings.

“Hey Loona.” Dina sounded calmer at least. Vex and Scarlet must have helped her in the interim. “Looks like tomorrow? Or later today…? You sure they can do it? That we can trust these guys?” The fear was still in her voice, making it thick and shaky.

“Pretty sure. They haven’t kicked me out yet and you know what a bitch I am,” Loona tried to lift her spirits. She was rewarded with a little giggle. It was more nervous than humored but it was better than crying.

“And without me there to give the puppy eyes of forgiveness.” A deep breath and a sigh. “Okay, let’s try it.”

“Just don’t act like you’re expecting anything. Business as normal.”

“I’ve gotten pretty good at that.”

—————

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[aintgonnatakethis]

It’s been a while, but SGU gifs have been coming up on my feed and it’s reminded me of how much that series ending just is so so evil. Just how dare they honestly.

Anywho, what are your thoughts 👀 Since it’s moreso your wheelhouse lol

Thank you for the ask @anonmadsci. I'm always over the moon to discuss SGU in any way, shape, or form! 😄

When it comes to SGU's ending, I think I probably have an unpopular opinion!

While of course MOAR SHOW is always an emotion we have when it comes to things we love, sometimes a show running for too long simply ruins it. (I didn't say it but you were all thinking it weren't you!)

If the third season followed the same storyline as the comics, I'm glad we didn't get it. Finding Ancients and having them hate the humans is something Stargate's already done and what made SGU great was that it covered new ground.

And even if it kept up the pace of fresh storylines, there's the killer point for me: how do you end it? I would 100% expect the decision makers not to be brave enough to have a "bad" ending, so I think the actual ending would either be a cliffhanger like we got or a "happy" one, where the crew all get to return to Earth.

This ending would be in direct juxtaposition to everything the show stood for. It was a show about loss, about pain, about how regular people are capable of doing terrible things, about how sometimes terrible things happen for no reason, about a realistic portrayal of the United States military. It was about suffering and how much people can take before breaking and addiction and depression and mental illness and awful coping mechanisms. It was dark and gritty and engaging and the characters didn't have plot armour and there weren't last second out-of-the-blue saves every episode.

It was a fundamentally different genre to SGA and SG1. If you took the main characters from either of those shows and put them into SGU, they simply wouldn't fit. The biggest example of this is O'Neill. His attempts at fulfilling the comic relief part of his character fall extremely flat in SGU. Case in point is when a brainwashed Telford is talking about the Lucian Alliance and his speech is quite clearly discussing colonisation, ending in "We take whatever we want. What makes us so special?" And O'Neill - a white cishet man - goes "Well I know what makes me special." As both O'Neill and Richard Dean Anderson himself are big proponents of anti-racism, this came completely out of left field for me, and felt not only in very poor taste but also straight up out of character.

So having said I believe they wouldn't be brave enough to have a bad ending, what do I believe that bad ending should actually be? Simple: a realistic one, to match the realistic way the show portrays everything else. Whether it's during the three year hop between galaxies, or at a later date after they wake up, they all die out there.

There is no happy ending.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

One such example of the difference between "Good" and genuinely bad form vivziepop/Hazbin Hotel Fans that drive everyone to hatred, is that are those of us who are absolutely avoiding the leaks and want fuck all to do with that shit and will block you if you so much as mention it to us, and can afford to do such a thing as a fully matured adult audience with lives and interests outside of just constant cartoon consumption....

And then there's genuinely off putting pigfucker bitches like petitprinces1 who are so sloppy they can't be bothered to find a header that isn't a moving gif with the freaking "AMAZON" logo still attached and they're just like:

"Erm....Yusss.....x3 I seen da leaks.....x3 Nope wont spoil anythin' even tho im answering asks abt it right the fuck now n' addressing Viv herself like shes in da room w me rn anyway KUDDOS Viv i did NAWT see dat 1 cumming!!!! x3 If da rest of u who put the dumb in fandumb literally want lil' ol' meh, ur reigning princess of stupidity, to send u the leaks so u can potentially spread them moar bein an idiot like i am plz DM meh cuz u kno ill delete u if ur dumb enough to actually ask in a reply id rather if u ask me to spread the leaks 4 u in meh DMs if ur gonna ask 4 leaks cuz im not a regular fandumb mom im a 20% COOLER fandumb mom!!! x3 Im so cool that if u ask me for leaks in my replies I GUESS....... ill prolly just delete ur comment instead of just blocking u like everyone else would bc im different and *i* have no boundaries and *i* dont know *HOW* to block ppl!!! x3 i also apparently wrote DISNEY JUNIOR FANFICTION at one point when i was in my late late teens/early early 20s which would imply i went directly from *THAT* to HAZBIN which explains a lot about me dont it? x3 ANYWAY HMU VIA DM IF U WANT ALL DA SEASON 2 LEAKS!!! x3"

Like gurl ...

Like, gurl...

Fake arse fan here to stress real people out just like like all the shitty clickbait bros here only you're a little Candace Owens about it it...

Speaking of Candace...

Uh, once again, my name is NOT "Hearts" and yes the fuck I did Ashface Snitchdale, again, it's free internetz, it's my hot blog and I do what I want, and yo' mama's been blocked for over 4+ years even before she tried and failed to troll me via block evading on anon... I just use an incognito now sometimes when I wanna roll my eyes because my block and stayfree options get broken and I'm forced to perceive she exists and re-block her anyway, keep scrollin'!

Oh and again, it's not "a real double edged sword" or whatever the fuck fandumb centrist bullshit that petitprincess1 is spouting as she's helping spread the leaks to people and let us be very fucking black and white about this okay? Okay. READY? I DON'T CARE! :D

If you indulge the leaks or help spread them, in public or in DMs... You are not a true fan... You are a fake fan... And you need to delete and leave the fandom!

If you: "Feel bad for being happy or excited over something that was so devastating for the crew and feel guilty for finding joy or even 'relief' in those leaks 'because of the results' of the US election.." or whatever the fuck bullshit excuse you made up to help you feel better or whatever... I'm paraphrasing because I don't fucking care what made you do it ... You SHOULD feel bad, you SHOULD feel guilty... You are not a true fan, you're a fake fan.... You not only need to delete and leave the fandom, BUT, you should feel even WORSE for confiding all of your bullshit to the tumblr fandumbs biggest bullshitter, Leeanne, (petitprincess1) someone who should've deleted her online presence years ago for presenting and behaving with all the tackiness and immaturity a of young/republican Trump Supporter anyway... THERE I SAID IT, and I'm probably not the only one too! I mean Viv herself is like... The cutest lil' Scene Kitten/Drunk Girlie at the party who actually thought Coconut Charli XCX Lady would win while raving to that Practical Magic Margarita Song all night long while making Actual Margaritas ...Those of you of you who've actually indulged the leaks and spoiled yourselves for ANY reason are selfish and entitled (as I always knew some of you were) and should be ashamed for doing that to her! You are not true fans. You are not one of us. Leave the fandom.

To think I once called out petitprincess1 for stealing my friends shit and running them off the internet and block evading to further harass me and now I'm calling her out for being complacent and helping spread leaks of the second season of Medrano's entire show! I was going to make a sort of Deep Cut TMI (for some of you people, not for me..) joke about how me and Leeanne ("apparently") shared "the same" Blorbo in the "Lion King" fandom albeit in two entirely Different Eras of Fandom ( mine being the superior one) but I think all of the obvious caveats and quotation would imply how I don't even so much as acknowledge disney junior shit as canon and because I don't watch shows meant for toddlers and therefore it's not the same fandom and not even the same "blorbo" at all and then I got angry and went on the other, more important, vent session because, yeah... It really did all just come down to one big, full circle of bullshit with her this time, didn't it? I'm truly done!

Like, bye bitch I'm never tipping your lolcow again.

Speaking of tipping... She's probably never actually paid an artist in this fandom or brought any actual art in like a while has she? No.

I peek at her blog to see if she posted her playbill if she even paid for one and I find something so much worse.

Oof.

[nulltune]

🌼🌸 anon here to make your day a bit sweeter !! you're an amazing person and i hope you've had an amazing start of the week. now, onto some nosy questions: where do you get your inspiration for your character(s) from? are there specific types of medias that have influenced the way you write or maybe even specific writers (maybe even from the rpc)? anyways, i hope your week continues to be sweet and amazing because the best of the best is what you deserve, dear friend !!

🥺🥺 YOU HAVE INDEED MADE MY DAYS (cuz i sure took my sweet time answerin this 😳🤪) A LOT BETTER AND A LOT SWEETER ANONN <333 (flower nonnie?? 🌼🌸 nonnie??) aaa i hope u had a great day too!!!! here's to an amazing week for da both of us !! 🥳 I FRIKKIN LOVE QUESTIONS BTW THEY'RE NOT NOSY AT ALL!!!! talking abt hakuno is my hobby y'know 😌

for inspiration, ohhh boy there is a Lot. this moon lady just lives in my mind rent free always!!! ngl tho i feel like my biggest inspo would be .... the little details about her from canon that i just think could've been soooo interesting if they explored it more! don't get me wrong i love how she is in canon (i fell in love with her after all 🥺🥺) but post-extra content is just big ehh to me and i feel like could've done so much more with her but didn't ^_T so i wanna do hakuno moar justice!! 😤 but also the way i wanna write her <3 which is why i really cherrypick a lot of stuff from canon tho i do inspo from it ! hakuno inspo is around every corner but just to list a few- the little mermaid story in general, anything related to artificial intelligence learning emotions / how to love, the nightingale and the rose by oscar wilde, a Lot of mili songs (bathtub mermaid, string theocracy, a turtle's heart, world.execute(me);, nine point eight, etc.), some characters from other media too, iT'S A LONG LIST!!

ohh nonnie my writing style is a mess 😭 /lh i don't know if i can name anything but as i said, hakuno is in da mind 24/7 so if i read or watch something and it gives me some hakuno muse, i keep a lil note of it or just keep it somehow! for example, i read the travelling cat chronicles recently (SO GOOD BTW YOU SHOULD READ IT 😭😭👍❤️❤️) and i read it on my phone so i screencapped every hakunocore parts hehe. like this lil bit! (btw yes i think this stray cat has some very hakunocore qualities. What Of It!)

if i like the way something was written, i simply go 😳📸. that's basically it tbh!! the rpc is a huge inspo to me too thoo!! hakuno's my fav character ever and rping is basically hakuno meeting all sorts of fun muses and characters. how could i not love that!!! i usually read asks that get posted on da dash cuz they're like a nice lil treat 💖 threads require more context and i am simply too slow and late for that </3 i always enjoy seeing my mutuals post tho!!! and i will expose myself here and say that i sometimes stalk dem blogs a little bc i want to read Moar ok........ *insert that one gif of the cursed emoji reaching out of the screen*

AND THANK YOU, DEAR NONNIE!!! i am very excited for da weekend my fav ever 🥳🥳 i hope u have a super great week too!! 💞💞 treat yourself to something nice why doncha! i slide a virtual dollar bill to u -winks-

[oonajaeadira]

Well damn. Branded is.. fucking fantastic. Imma be honest and say that I've read a handful of Pero fics but they have yet to do what Branded did to me. Your writing is impeccable. Okayyy talent, I see you! *snaps fingers* This ask is me officially signing a petition for MOAR Branded, please. Ah. I'm so happy. I can't wait to start reading LMR and come back to this ask to gush even more. Mwahaha. Btw would you mind pointing me to other/your fave Pero fics? I'm gleefully diving into this pit 🤣

<3 <3 <3

AAAAAAA Thank you so much! Branded's been a long time coming. It will take me a bit to get to a second chapter, but it is definitely on its way.

Favorite Pero Fics??? I'm still digging into reading him myself and I have an embarrassingly long list of Tovar to get to. Lemme dig in my "have read" file and see what I've been loving.

-

I cannot recommend Little Red's Shadow by @littlemisspascal enough. Werewolf!Pero AU, part 2 of 2 is on the way!

-

@jessie-writes-things has a few of my favorites:

Cups of Tea

I Might Be Driven to Sell Your Love For Peace

"Lust"

-

Two of my absolute favorites are by @absurdthirst and I find this amusing because one of them is the filthiest Pero fic I love and one is the absolute softest.

With All My Heart (aka the sword-fkng one)

Fiercely Gentle (aka the one that made me a pile of goo)

-

The Born to Be Wild series by my good pal @writeforfandoms brings me joy and is great for "dropping Pero in the modern world" fun:

Born to be Wild

Looking for Adventure

Smoke and Lightning

-

And speaking of modern Pero, I really enjoy these two meet-cutes at the grocery store:

Grocery Day by @sharkbait77

Jar of Hearts by @marvel-and-mischief

-

A series I haven't read yet but really really want to is The Cross by @blueeyesatnight I've heard so many good things.

-

And if you like the way I write Pero, I have a couple of one-shots:

Where He Is Compelled to Stay

Someone Will Remember in Time (this one may be a little confusing, it was a little thought-experiment drabble that will influence a later chapter of Branded)

and a couple "trope mash-up" drabbles:

green-eyed epiphany and intimate artistry

accidentally married and sleep intimacy

(gif by thisistheway)

HAPPY READING, FRIEND!!!

[stanathanxoox]

You Can Stay Here

gif is mine

@eat-moar-veggis​ asked: hey could I request an imagine where the reader is a trans boy who meets the twilight characters (werewolves or cullens) while he's running away from home because of his parents being transphobic? He's injured and barely concious but they take him in after some discussion/argument, and he wakes up confused and tries to get up but can't and they reassure him he's safe and you can decide what happens next. Thanks if you decide to do this, and you can ask me any question if you want

“Fag!”

“Loser!”

“Gross!”

“Homo!”

“You don't deserve to live!”

“How dare you do this?!” those words repeated over and over again in your head as you tried to run for your life. You were in so much pain but the adrenaline from running away from your abusive family was enough to carry you through the pain. The lacerations, cuts, bruises and broken bones were all a result of the latest beating you had suffered at your fathers hand after you had gone through with the latest lot of treatment you had taken to help make you who you felt you are, the man you were supposed to be. Your parents were trans-phobic, raising you and your siblings to believe that anyone in the LGTBQ+ community were to be hated and feared, but the moment that you had felt that you were not who you were supposed to be in a woman body they had changed, it was no longer those in that community that you feared but those people, like your parents who were against anyone who was different. Your so distracted by your thoughts that you barely recognize your surroundings, you don't see the log that is lying across your path and so you fall to the ground in a massive heap, the air leaving your lungs as you struggle to stay conscious. Tears are falling down your cheeks, your screaming out, letting out all the pain and anguish the only way that feels right until you can no longer scream.

“Hello? Is everything alright?” a voice calls out to you and look up to be meet by a pair of bright amber eyes

“What do you think?” you ask sarcastically and the man kneels down next to you

“I know a lot more than you think, I know your going through a lot. I just want to help” the voice says and you shake your head

“Nobody wants to help. Not the trans guy” you say and the person frowns

“I do, I want to help” you hear him say and you scoff

“No you don't” you say as you struggle to keep your eyes open. You feel yourself being lifted from the ground and you scream

“What the f**k? What are you doing?” you ask and he looks down into your face as he begins walking

“I'm taking you somewhere safe, somewhere you can heal and get better Y/N” he says and you sigh, new tears falling down your face as you whisper

“No ones ever truly meant that they care and proved it to me before” and then suddenly darkness.

You wake in an unfamiliar room, but judging by the surroundings your in a nice place

“Oh your awake” the voice from earlier says and you sit up, groaning as you feel a throbbing in your head

“Careful, careful” he says rushing towards you and you look up into the amber eyes and raise an eyebrow

“Thank you-?” he smiles and says

“Edward” you smile and say

“Well thank you Edward, for helping me and keeping me safe” you whisper looking away shyly and he smiles

“Its quite alright Y/N” he says a small smile on the corner of his lips before theirs a knock on your door and your greeted by a tall blonde haired man

“Hi Y/N, I'm Carlisle, I'm a doctor at the local hospital. I've been checking on your injuries and I took care of the lacerations and cuts on your body, I've also casted your left leg as it was severely broken. You also have a mild concussion” he says and you nod

“Thank you Carlisle, and thank you for letting me stay in your home. But I should probably get back to my family” you say going to get up and Edward pushes you back down on the bed

“No! Absolutely not” he says anger lacing his voice and you raise an eyebrow your own anger and confusion getting the best of you

“And why the hell not?” you ask and he gets to his feet

“Because they abused you Y/N. They were the ones who did this to you, there is no way on earth I am letting you go back there” he says and you shake

“Letting me go back! Edward, I have no where else to go, even if they don't accept me they are still my family” you say angrily and he shakes his head

“Of course you have somewhere to go, you can stay here with us. Somewhere you can be safe and not in an abusive environment for being yourself” he says and your face softens

“As much as I appreciate it Edward, I can't appose on you and your hospitality like that” you try to say and he shakes his head, he's about to speak up when Carlisle speaks up

“Of course you can Y/N, as a matter of fact, I insist you stay. That way I can keep an eye on your injuries and it will put my mind at ease knowing that you are safe” he says and you sigh, running your hand through your hair. You look between the two men, one of them giving you a hopeful look and the other giving you a look that says that no is not going to be an acceptable answer.

“Alright, fine I'll stay” you say and both men give you a smile before Carlisle leaves the room.

“You made the right choice Y/N” Edwards says and you shake your head, lying down in the bed and turning away from him. A small chuckle escapes his lips as he gets to his feet and says

“Goodnight Y/N”.

Tag List: @tiva-jenry-caskett-rizzles-densi​, @jimmybpride​, @dressed-up-just-like-z1ggy​, @nikkiwierden​, @samchelforever007​, @kirkspockbones​, @xoncisxncislaxncisnolaox​, @lasalle-pride-sebastian-love​, @haliannej​, @brooklyn-99-amyxjake​​, @mizzezm​, @genius2050​, @twilight-twihard​, @cullencoven2019​, @wxlfgirlx​, @luciferxchloeislove​, @drethanramsey-ismybabe​, @sawyer-oakley-is-mighty-fine​, @loverofoneshots​, @aelin-thefirebreathingbitchqueen​​

Tag List for Twilight: @jasper-babyxx​, @drcarlislecullenissexy​

[anunvalidcritic]

TITANS: sn2 ~ ep9

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Damn, I’m still laggin’ my dudes. But when I made my lastest post it wasn't allowing me to post the gifs I made and it wouldn’t let me submit it either and the website I use to make the gifs weren't working too! I don’t what’s going on. I’ll try to work with what’s being given to me. 

                                                ATONEMENT

DICK just poured his heart out to everybody and they rolled out like the fuckin’ Autobots.

SIDE NOTE: I don’t like how DAWN just goes back and forth between HANK and DICK like I get that they're trying to make a storyline but damn.

AYYYEE BLACKFIRE IN THIS BITCH 

Did I say how FADDEI reminds me of Pharrell (aka Skateboy P)

Thank you RAVEN for putting DONNA in her fucking place. 

Why did she even go with DONNA, to begin with??

Wow DICK is really about to leave BEAST BOY at the fucking Tower by himself... WITH SUPERBOY?!?!

HA! “Bruce Springsteen”

DAY 1

GAR living his best life as a Vegetarian. 

“Fitter. Happier. MOAR Productive.” 

Reading to SUPERBOY

DAY 2

He went to sleep in the same fuckin’ clothes

barely training while in the process of fuckin’ up back. 

“Always look on the brightside of life :)”

Wig lookin’ fucked up while he’s juicing

Still reading to CONNER

DAY 3

Waking up late

Drinking right out of the coffee kettle

Playing videogames while eating vegetarian pizza with KRYPTO

Posting multiple sticky notes

“ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES GAR A DULL BOY”

Reading to CONNER = “Hickory Dickory dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one and down he runs. Hickory Dickory Dock.”

~~~~~

It only took BEAST BOY 3 days to be down on his luck... damn

CONNER is still naked as a jaybird!

GAR has clothed the boy and is now feeding him.  

HAHAHA! BEAST BOY said that shit like it was supposed to mean something to a boy who was literally born about a week ago!

That music didn’t make it any better LOL

Is he eating cheerios?? I don’t like cheerios

“Call BRUCE when naked guy wakes up.”

FEDDI + KORI = Quick-witted batter

WTF just went into his ear?!?!

You know I almost forgot that RYAN POTTER is trained in 

“ALL BY MYSELF!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO BE ALL BY MYSELF ANYMORE!!!!” - RANDOM GUY

That dude was feelin’ that song in his spirit!

HANK can sing?!?!?!? Or is he just lip-syncing?

oOo she’s weird as hell for watching them kiss like that.  

“And where the hell have you’ve been? Singing your titties off!” - Elias’s Sister

He better not break that controller

SUPERBOY and BEAST BOY have a nice relationship but it will never compare to CYBORG + BEAST BOY!!!!

DICK is in Kane, Nevada just to talk to ROSE and JERICHO’s mother. 

OMFG DEATHSTROKE is just chillin’ in the fuckin’ house!

“If you ever put the Titans back together even for a weekend I will kill every single one of you.” - DEATHSTROKE

BEAST BOY needs to learn how to change into more than one animal because BEAST BOY in gorilla mode is insane!

Ofc CONNER thinks the guy getting checked by the police is in need of help. 

OH, SHIT!!!!

BEAST BOY DON’T FUCKING LEAVE HIM!!!!!

DANG SUPERBOY SWOLE

I think STARFIRE knows something is up with FIDDEI

Out of the states in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA they chose to go back to the state of WYOMING!

MONTANA

COLORADO

NORTH & SOUTH DAKOTA

WASHINGTON

OREGON

Even fuckin’ IDAHO

HANK + DAWN = a twisted fucked up crime-fighting couple

Dang!! He didn’t deserve that!

KORIAND’R  + KOMAND’R = Sibling Rivarily at its Finest

Wow I think we all know DICK did that he could to jail to serve some time for the death of JERICHO

______

I didn’t know what to post for my title picture so I just picked the charka gif. But I’ve just been breakin’ promises left and right but honestly, I’ll try to do better lol just remember the saying until next time. 

[chickren]

Hello Chicky- show!Jaime question for you. Obv we all hated Jaime’s story arc thru end of S8. But I do think Jaime’s next move after battling the dead was a tough nut to crack. I don’t think he wanted to declare for Daenerys. Agree?He’s still a Lannister. How do u think they could have preserved his relationship with Brienne while also allowing him to either remain neutral or somehow defend his family and stay the character we have loved all these many seasons?

ahhhhhh

guys i love you but

I never loved Larry Lannister all these many seasons. The show has been a pain in my behind since pretty much day one. At best, it gave me pretty gifs and moar asoiaf during a drought. At worst, it made me question my own taste, ability to read critically, and has led me to break vows I’ve made to myself. I could not begin to reason out an answer for you here, because I could argue four different positions each with equally well-supported points from the show because the characterization of their “Jaime” was so wildly i-n-c-o-n-s-i-s-t-e-n-t. 

The thing about any cogent, useful analysis of ANYTHING is that there has to be some consistent data to base it on. Without fanon and overlay of book!Jaime, Larry’s character looks like a Picasso painting someone let a toddler rip to shreds and scatter in a murky pond. You could grab the pieces and wad them into different shapes–people do it every day, JB shippers, antis, tumblrasoiafevangelists, and GoT stans who still haven’t come to terms with the fact that the show was always (from conception) a hot mess–and more power to all of them–but it’s just not for me.

To answer you, I will say what I think book!Jaime would do. Dany’s not even a speck on his horizon, but other threats are. He spends little time thinking about Stannis other than wanting to fight him, because he knows Stannis won’t allow Cersei and his family to live under any circumstance. However, he is willing enough to cede some power to the Tyrells because it’s the way to keep his family safest. And, as we all know, Jaime’s ready to take the regency from Cersei because she’s endangering their kids.

Jaime is, at every point, most concerned with preserving the lives of as many of the people he loves as he possibly can. To him that’s more important than honor, or oaths, his life, or anyone else’s lives tbh. So would he bend the knee to Dany? Sure, if he could keep enough people he loved alive by doing it. And if he has to choose between people he loves? Well, book!Jaime made that choice between Brienne and Cersei years ago. Guess which way he went.

[innytoes]

I am not writing the Leverage HS AU

Moar random thoughts on The Leverage OT3 Highschool AU. 

-They all get insecure sometimes. Hardison wonders why two gorgeous Cool people would want to hang out with a skinny geek who still has braces. Sure, he can hack himself a ticket to the Oscars, but he can’t actually brag about that to his highschool girlfriend or boyfriend. (When Parker finds out she is SO EXCITED he’s also a thief.)

-Parker is worried that Hardison and Eliot are going to get sick of how weird she is and dump her. She has some abandonment issues, okay? (She stole Sophie’s files and that’s what they said, she should know.) 

-Everyone thinks Eliot is super confident and cool and Popular, but he secretly worries because neither Hardison or Parker care about sports, and he’s not a literal genius like they seem to be, and they seem to be so much more at ease communicating with each other. Hell, Parker even joined Hardison’s Dungeons and Dragons game. How can he compete with that?

-Even though it’s probably modern times they go on old-timey dates like to the arcade and the roller rink because of the AESTHETIC and because it’s hot to see Parker defeat DDR while doing flips and handstands.

-That time all three of them crammed into a photobooth. Hardison has the photo’s stuck to his screen. Parker keeps them in a special secret stash. Eliot has them hidden in his least favourite subject’s book so he can peek at them and be inspired to Try Harder. He will never admit it.

-Their group text is a mess it is long serious conversations and memes and funny gifs and Parker’s Unique sense of Capitalisation and Eliot shouting at autocorrect because his fingers are too big and also because Hardison swiped his phone and made it so ‘we are not watching star wars again’ automatically turns in to ‘i would love to watch star wars again’.

-I’ve been thinking how the whole Damien Moreau thing would work in a HS AU and I decided that Eliot went to a different middle school maybe in another town and Damien was like, the football captain (do middle schools do football I have a very vague understanding of US school systems) or at least this Popular Dude and Eliot totally had crush on him and Moreau was a shithead bully and peer-pressured Eliot into being a shithead bully too and it is his DEEP SHAMEFUL PAST he feels so bad there is no redeeming what he did but now at his new school he uses his popularity for Good and Beware the Jock Who Picks On People, Eliot Will Crush Them.

-Which of course one day means they have a playoff against Moreau’s team and Eliot is trying to not let anyone know about his Dark Past or that he’s still kind of scared of Damien and then Moreau picks on Hardison because it’s clear he’s Eliot’s weak spot and since there is no con to keep cool about Eliot just beats the shit out of him and probably gets suspended for a while but it was worth it.

-He has a mandatory session with Sophie who already knows all about it because Parker came in and re-enacted the whole thing with sound effects. And she just shrugs like: sounds like he deserved it. Want to talk about your feelings? Or shoes. 

-Neither Parker or Hardison is going to college, that’s pretty clear. Parker and Sophie probably already have like, a summer crime spree planned for when she ‘graduates’. (I can totally see Sophie hanging around specifically until ‘her kids’ graduate.) 

-Hardison is dithering between staying with Nana for the summer while ‘working’ (pretending to go to work and hacking) and helping out around the house, and freeing up more space so she can help other kids. He probably settles on getting an apartment near Nana and getting dragged along Parker and Sophie’s Crime Spree. (And WTF THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WAS A CRIMINAL? This is what public school gets you!) He sends Nana postcards from Europe and puts money in her accounts and opens college funds for his foster siblings and screams a lot because Parker has decided that because he is a Thief he should also JUMP OFF BUILDINGS WHY. 

-Eliot joins the army, because he wants to Help People and Serve His Country and he’s not built for what Parker and Hardison do okay, even if he gets it and they never steal from people who can’t afford to lose it. He gets through bootcamp, does some things he’s proud of, does some things he’s not proud of, probably gets picked for some kind of Black Ops. He sends letters and e-mails and has skype sessions with Hardison and Parker when he can. They send him completely unhelpful care packages (gummy frogs and stolen diamonds and sometimes the damn wetwipes he asked for.) Once the stuff he’s not proud of starts outweighing the stuff he is proud of (not to mention the whole ‘hey Eliot fake your death so you can do even shadier shit for us’ pressure begins), he Gets Out. 

-He probably shows up at the little chateau Sophie grifted for her and ‘the kids’ while they work on their next crime(s). It’s raining, it’s just after midnight, it’s a full moon, there’s thunder just as they open the door, because Eliot is Very Dramatic. 

-They all live happily ever after.

[myheartislookingforyoualways]

02.26.2021

Dear G,

It’s really only now starting to sink in that you really and truly are gone out of my life. I feel like I am waking up from a beautiful dream that I want to go back to, never end, to a cold grey morning that is my reality. I just have been in a daze for the first few days but now the realization is starting to sink in to my heart like a burning hot coal getting hotter and more painful the longer it sits there. I keep racing back and forth in my mind between blind hope and utter desperation. I keep playing everything over and over again in my mind trying to bargain with myself about the what ifs and the could haves and the well maybe this but when I get completely honest with myself, which doesn’t happen nearly enough, this was inevitable. It doesn’t matter the situation. It doesn’t matter you found it. I remember your beautiful face, your smile, when you asked if you could shower with me. My stupid fucking face acting shocked like a fucking asshole when you of course found it. Heartbreaking to you. You gave me so many chances. You gave us so much hope. You gave everything. I took everything from us. I took it from us when I started to lie to you about my usage, about my commitment to my sobriety, about myself and my willingness to change. You had to hold more and more of us together and it was too much in the end. I see that now. I know why you’re empty. I took that away from you the second i started to use. Then I used more and more. Then more and more until I got so wrapped up in it I couldn’t see a way out nor did I want one. So obsessed with my complete facade of a persona that I ended up just being a shell for the addict that took over. I was happy with us  and I do remember very vividly having the highest hopes for us to have it all, absolutely everything. I dreamt and hoped with you . But then I pulled away slowly sinking into my addiction. Then it became about protecting it . About being able to hide it . About being able to control it . About being able to have you and have us and have my drugs . Have it all . My cake and eat it too. Looking back on it now that was complete insanity. But I’m relieved now that my facade is over at least. It cost me everything though with you. You’re gone and now I’m heartbroken too over everything that I took from us, took from granted you, and cheated myself out of happiness. 

I miss you so much G. I think about you all the time. I just talk to you as if you're still here. For the first few days I kept reading our last messages to each other on WhatsApp. I keep looking for more and more things to get from it. I deleted our chat history beyond a few days before while using. I deserve it. I don’t have any vn’s of your beautiful voice, your soft accent, your loving tone you only used for me. I don’t have any of our little love language things we would always do no matter, we both never got tired of it, not even once. Your stickers, my gifs, your whimpering, my begging, our random “bb” texts, followed by a “Yesh”, all of our little inside jokes about air fwyers and getting mawwied, our serious msgs about actually getting married, our jokes about our future child N R D B (R) maybe. No all that was left was my pointless begging and your pained responses after hours of me just not stopping. Clearly you’re breaking and i’m just so fucking oblivious to how nothing i do is going to change your mind. Our last messages to each other are “ok thank u” from you and two emoji hearts from me.  Then blocked. I have blind hope that those won’t be our last messages to each other but I’m also terrified with the possibility that they just might be.  Today I just started replying to you. I know i’m only talking to myself but it makes me better. I just feel so empty. Everything is quiet here. Everything is cold. I come home and I don’t hear your sweet voice or “hey bb” just me. I wish I could move out too. You were my home G . Wherever you were I was alive. You literally were warmth. Your beautiful body keeping me warm in our bed. Your kisses. Your love. I miss everything about you. The last night you came over before it really just feel to pieces you were drunk and on your period when we fucked. I can still taste you. Still smell you. You left a small period stain on our sheets. I can’t wash them because thats from you. There are a few clothes as well that I didn’t manage to throw out from the room that are still here. I just keep looking at them. I remember when i used to watch you get dressed, or I would undress you. Lifting you up, putting my head in your lap when you pee. That day when you moved out and i was curled up in the bed in denial, you were asking to see me and I said just go. i couldn’t even move. I just wanted to sleep but i couldn’t. I never imagined that when I asked you to move in you would move out. I truly wanted you to live with me forever. Like actually. Then a few days later I picked up the keys from concierge. I just threw them somewhere when I got back here. I couldn’t even look at them. I can’t believe i did this to you and to us. And you know what, I know what you wanted and still wanted right up until you had to leave for yourself. It was the same thing I wanted - until I just starting wanting drugs more and more - a safe , caring ,  loving, secure home. A place where you could make a new home, a home with me, here in Canada. Another home, a new home all your own ; with me your man. I am now understanding why you are so defeated, I’m defeated now, I showed you that I couldn’t be your home, so you had to leave heartbroken.

Most of all what I miss is me. I don’t even know who I am anymore half the time.  I miss you , I miss us , but most of all I miss me. I don’t know who that person was more and more and especially near that end when I put you through all that but i fucking hate him. The worst thing is that person is me. I did al those things. I really did all that. I truly lost it . I want me back, yes I want us back, but there could never have been as us in the first place if there wasn’t a me . The me before all this. You used to tell me you missed the old Aaron , the one that was silly, always made you laugh, always thought of sweet little things, was so sensitive and caring. I never really got it until now and I miss me too. I don’t even know whatever it is I was doing but whatever this is isn’t life or anything worth living for or fighting for . I want me again. If there is ever going to be a me again I gotta get me back first. G I know that you’re hurting, I’ve been reading your tweets, checking it every ten minutes, and your VSCO too. I’m breaking over here. I just wish I could hold you . But i can’t. 

I want us back too. More than anything . But i now realize that is also entirely out of my control. For once I am completely powerless over anything or anyone but myself .

I am going to feel this for a really long time .I can’t forget or even forgive myself right now. 

I know I need to love myself but right now its tough. 

I am going to though. I gotta find me. 

I love you. 

I love you moar.

[fierceawakening]

Like... I think the thing I mean by empathy, and the thing a lot of people outside this debate have in mind is... do you guys remember a while back when a gif set of screen caps from RT went around of a cat who curled around an abandoned baby to keep him warm in the freezing cold?

And how lots of people (including several autistic mutuals, fwiw) hailed this cat as a wonderful hero.

Now, did Masha the cat cognize “that is not a kitten, so ordinarily I’d abandon it as outside of my ingroup, but my moral rules tell me humans are not unpersons (uncats?) so I will protect it?”

Well... humans DO strike me as terribly prone to underestimate animals’ intelligence, but even granting that I might do that, being a big dumb hairless ape... I doubt it. I suspect it’s more likely that Masha had an instinctive response to the human baby’s distress, perhaps to its cries.

My suspicion is that the emotional part of empathy works like that. Instincts are big and dumb. Other being have pain bad. Other being happy good. Other being cry or wince: ME WANT HELP. Me maybe no help because ME ALSO SCARE, but me want.

Which is why I have trouble buying the idea that affective empathy is risky because it only triggers for in group members.

I think propagandists and brain washers try to artificially induce it only triggering for group members. But I think it doesn’t always fully take.

For example, in my culty bad feminism days, I was told “care less about men and more about women.” I wasn’t sure why I should want to do this and the idea made me angry at first tbh! But I was told to lurk moar, so I did. And doing that meant constantly marinating in ARGUMENTS that said “care about men less! Those emotions that make you want to protect them? Are patriarchy.”

So I tried to turn them off. To be good. To save women. To liberate them! I wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, including myself, but I ended up with a moral maxim that said something like “a man has 3/4 the moral worth of a woman, because justice must be done.”

But I felt sick a lot. Wrong. Uneasy. I was so deep in that I couldn’t recognize my queasiness as “emotional instinct to care for all” bumping up against “bad reason-based but coherent system saying stop caring for man shaped beings” but I still felt it.

To me, that was my affective empathy struggling to tell me “this is wrong.” Making me continue to feel revulsion even as I laughed about male tears.

Because my reasoning mind? Said unpersons, as it was trained to. But my emotions? Said this being is hurt. Stop it.

[flyingcatstiel]

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.

Tagged by @procasdeanating  

Thank you for tagging me! Let’s have some TMI time on this blog for all my lovely followers. 

1. If you could start a one week vacation tomorrow, where would you go?  London, probably? Never have been to an English speaking country. 

2. What skill do you have that would come handy in an apocalyptic world? When I was a child, I spent a bunch of summers on my grandparents’ farm. There’s only electricity and radio, no running water or plumbing, or TV. So, I’d like to think that I’m mentally prepared to live in a world with very basic utilities. 

3. Favorite episode last season? Um. OK, here’s the deal. I watched SPN on a very crappy stream, so crappy that I actually skipped couple of Cas-less episodes because I didn’t want to upset my laptop. So, [goes to Wiki to check s12 episode list], ok, I see. I think I'll stick to Cas’ eps, 12x10 and 12x12. I’ll have better answer after I get my hands on s12 DVD set. 

4. Can you play an instrument or do you plan to learn? Can’t play, no plans to learn. 

5. Raspberries or strawberries? Fresh strawberries, raspberry jam. 

6. Who do you want to see brought back in the Alternative Universe next season? This is like an exercise in representation. Do I want back my awesome ladies (Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Billie) or do I want my POC chars (Gordon, Rufus, Kevin) or should I keep my wishes secret in case they’re brought back and killed off again (hello Sarah B and Joshua)? In that case, ghostbusters. You can bring them back and kill them. And I still cling to hope that Eileen is actually alive in this universe. Please don’t bring her back in AU and set up a romance with Sam. People are not interchangeable . 

7. First movie you saw at a cinema? Ouch, that was a very long time ago. I’ll go with the first movie that made me to go to the cinema to see it for the second time. It’s an old Russian movie “Hussar Ballad” about a girl dressing up in boys clothes and joining Russian army to fight Napoleon. Come to think of it, little me already had an anonymity kink back then. Huh. Also, “My Fair Lady” made a huge impression when I saw it on the big screen (hello teacher/student kink!). Please note, these movies are bloody old and I DIDN’T see them when they’re first released, omg, I’m not that ancient. I saw reruns in cinema much, much later. To show how non-linear my “movies at the cinema” timeline is - I saw Disney’s The Little Mermaid roughly when it was released, which happened only couple of years after I saw Disney’s “Snow white” for the first time ever and in the cinema. 

8. Favorite version of Cas? I’ll go with original Cas. The one we met in 4x01 and lost in 12x23. I’m here for his journey, for his character development. I mean, I also love steve!cas but that was only one episode and I needed moar of human Cas in s9.

9. If you could choose a song as a music cue next season, what would it be and for which scene would you use it? No idea. I’m not very well versed in recent music trends. 

10. This weekend is VanCon. What question would you ask the cast if you were there? You. Don’t want. Me. To ask them questions. I’m still too bitter about everything. I’d end up asking something like - it took only four years, killing a reaper, almost dying and confessing his love to the Winchesters for Cas to finally get a room in the bunker. Who’s idea it was to give Cas a room and who did the actual giving, Sam or Dean? Or was it Mary? So, let’s go with a simple question, and if somebody knows the answer, please tell me, I honestly don’t know -  what is Misha’s status in season 13? Is he regular with usual 10-11 eps (or less) or a guest star? 

My ten questions:

1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting.  2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show? 3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics? 4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one) 5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link] 6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link] 7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind of SPN. Tell me why it will help.  8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision) 9. Cats or dogs? 10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?

Feel free to ignore this but hey, this hiatus is kinda boring! Please tag me if you answer and I’ll reblog everything -  @no-gorms, @kyrie101, @purgatory-jar @whelvenwings, @thebloggerbloggerfun, @thestoryinsideme, @hannibalstan, @unforth-ninawaters, @justanearth-boundmisfit, @some-people-call-it-tragic @destielonfire

and back atcha - @procasdeanating!

[exilesofembermark]

Game Dev Update | 3.8.17

There are seven-- SEVEN-- delivery ends for this battleaxe. Sadly, there aren’t seven different ways for this axe to connect with your opponent in Exiles, but that biggest big blade there will connect for sure. It was designed to destroy the FACE of your enemy when they dare to oppose you. This axe has been a regular entrant to many previous screenshots which heavily featured the Warrior Class. 

So it’s fitting to use a Warrior weapon to say goodbye to the Warrior for a little bit-- this Dev Update will be so much moar about MAGES. Last time, we dug into the visual telegraph system for gear, the state of PVE, our upcoming presence at GDC and a couple Ability Deep Dives. 

This update, we are focused on running. Cuz now we run. The game version that we brought to GDC was the first time Exiles was running entirely from the backend-- with PVP battles, PVE Quests, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure choices and even hidden treasure pushed to your device from a magickal computer in the sky. 

Why care? 

Cuz now we run-- all of the static screenshots and concept art and whatnot we’ve shown throughout development will now make their way INTO the game, and it will happen like Chain Lightning.

EXILES GOT TO GDC!

The GDC booth for Epic’s Unreal Engine was gigantic, and Exiles was honored to play a role within it as a showcase mobile title. All week last week, the Gunslinger team demoed to showgoers, players and press. We got a ton of great feedback and some new ideas from the show, and swung by the Touch Arcade GDC homebase to do a video demo you can see here:

If you want to see what TA had to say, the full article is here. As always when I demo, I hid some stuff-- I hid a series of numbers in this discussion-- they’re throughout the video. 2...15...20...5...10...13. If you can tell me where they “show up” in the demo, PM TheWizard in the forums with the answer, and you’ll receive a free Chest of loot in the game when it launches. 

SO. MANY. MAGES.

At long last, wizarding is at hand. There are always a few times during the development of a game when you go “yes finally! WOOT” and this is one of them. The three starting Classes in Exiles are Warrior, Mage and Rogue (each with three specialties) along with three others designed, but we’ve been working through development with the Warrior as the template. Now that the game is getting ready for testing, Exiles systems support the input of any number of Classes (<-- foreshadowing), and the remaining few are going in.

We have a huge number of Rogue fans in the community, so a word of caution: don’t expect the Rogue in next week-- we need to fill out the Mage’s gear. And fill we will! 

Robes, boots, shoulders, staves, books (yes, books), orbs, gloves etc are all rumbling through the art pipeline. A Legendary or two will make an appearance and then we’ll get Mr/Ms Thief McPocketses into the game. 

Mage Talent Trees are up as well! Here’s a look at the Elementalist Tree, one of the three specialties within the Mage Class (the other two being Blood Mage and Warcaster). Characters can pick and choose from each tree as they like. 

THE NEW WILDEWOODS

The Zones (regions) of Embermark have been evolving since day one and the starting Zone, Wildewoods, has been a particular favorite for the team. We’ve been working on Lore behind every town, landmark, ruin and port in Embermark and there will be plenty to find (and fight) once the game is live (remember, the world map in Exiles functions like a Google Map, with various activities, Quests and events appearing in different places and at different levels of zoom).

To see how the map art is evolving, take a look at what Wildewoods used to look like and where it is now:    

The new icons there in the screen represent where a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure type choice would be made (affecting your Motivations and Standings) and the other one is... TRAYSURE. These can be visible or hidden depending upon your character’s development, the current Season’s plot and what events are live.

(And if you want to know where that old Bog Hag lives and what she’s up to, look no further. Is she evil or good or purely pragmatic? You decide...)

PVE IS LEGIT

Huzzah! I’ve said it often, but one of the ambitions of Exiles is to have a living, breathing world, with ebbs and flows of faction, politics and motivations (even morality, if Lord British can dig it), so having our PvE system online is a big milestone for the team. 

Questing, events, making choices and finding caches of valuables are all driven by your actions (and achievements) in the game and that system saw its debut in this last build. The screenshot below is a big deal for us, not because the Ogre is trying to squash a bug, but because his actions are driven by the backend of this game and that means we can push any NPC at any time with any abilities and any loot into the game in real-time. With no update. You’ll just get the goodness in your game.

STAVES

What’s an RPG without them? And this one is looking at you...

A CLOSER LOOK AT THE MAGE IN ACTION

Here’s a bunch of GIFs that illustrate how the Mage is coming along. Ol’ “MadeOfMagicks” here starts off with a classic-- the Fireball, which does decent damage (affected by stats and gear of course) along with a chance to Burn the enemy. (he rocks a Crit too, so Addrighar is in trouble)

Blizzard doesn’t do a ton of damage, but its Chill effect slows down the other player for a few rounds, offering some first-shot chances and decreasing the enemy’s defense.

Poor Addriggar. Poor, poor Addrighar...

Huzzah!

(please note that these GIFs made the Warrior look like a knucklehead. He is not a knucklehead and will soon have his revenge)

TRAYSURE

Last update, we showed what you might find in the placed (and random) treasure caches found around Embermark. Oftentimes, you’ll get a drop (random-ish), but sometimes you’ll get something specific. Something that matters to someone that might not be you...

ABILITY & TALENT BREAKDOWNS

Each Update, we’re featuring a couple of Abilities (active) and/or Talents (passive) to preview what kinds of effects the choices you make in developing your character have. This time, we’ve got one of each, both from the Warrior Class:

Devastating Swing

So the “devastating” part of this swing isn’t when it connects. It’s what comes after. This Warrior Ability does a decent amount of damage (affected by stats and what weapon you wield, of course), and then leads to an effect-over-time. It increases Crushing damage for 2 rounds after the move is played. So if you follow with Bash, Shoulder Rush or the armor-increased Skull Crush, your enemy is in for it. 

Blood Madness

“No, my friend. You’re crazy.” This one isn’t an active Ability. This one’s passive, despite its name and disconcerting icon. Bleeding (an effect that can sit on either combatant) causes the Warrior to flip his/her lid, increasing the weapon damage they can do, and it’s increased if you spend more Talent Points on the Talent (max of 5). The interesting part is this-- either combatant bleeding trigger this effect, and both means PUNISH.

THE 3D LOOT INSPECTOR

Want to check out that new piece of loot that just dropped on your character without having to equip it (or upgrade it... or salvage it)? Booyah:

See that triple-dot on the bottom-right part of the armor’s description box? Click that to get all the details you could ever want about a Pounding Mage Chest.

REMEMBER

We’ll keep sharing details as we head into testing (remember to PM TheWizard on the Exiles forums if you want in on closed testing & beta later), and you can count on early impressions from the testers throughout our various channels.

If you haven’t already, follow along with the Exiles development on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And if you haven’t, I’ll find you. And SMITE you.

DISCORD, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW...

If you want to hear about the game, ask questions or connect with others who are helping the development team think about features, design and narrative, hop into the Discord Channel for live chat and say hi-- it’s a friendly lot and there are daily shenanigans (there’s even a Shenaniganizer).

BONUS: A VERY BAD GUY

Very. ‘Cross the Breaches came many a monster. Not all of them were rampaging. Some were measured, thoughtful, insightful...

(back-only is shown to you on purpose for dramatic effect)

BONUS BONUS: SCREENSHOT

Oh boy-- Armadillo is coming in with Destruction’s Wake, and Nezuja’s not super-happy about it, given his 74 remaining HP...

Ha! You thought after the Bonus Bonus, we were done! 

WRONG. 

Remember how I’ve been showing the evolution of Embermark’s awful, awful wolves from concept to in-the-game? Well, here’s the next step-- what kind of RPG wolf would she be without a blood-curdling howl?

Now we’re done (till next month)!