#(like. 'bullied my friend out of her class for having too many panic attacks during lessons' awful)

[cat-madhouse]

tyty!! the server seems fun i need to chat there now that im finished midterms! im alright, just been planning for my birthday, how about you? also good luck with finals! they sound rough :[

Your birthday?? When is it ? Also it's nice you finished midterms :) I still have uni applications to go through after the finals and honestly both things are just as stressful skdhsk

[solaaresque]

hi reze pls tell me all abt ur ocs!!! mama and kuro are high in my list of enstar faves so ofc i want to know abt their sisters!! plus i wanna know abt your self insert too + whatever else abt any oc pleek 🧎🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️🫶

kjfhdskfjdwh lee <3 you're just enabling me atp... but i'm not complaining!

anyways!

mikejima miyuki aka "miyu". she/they. 17 years old.

miyuki is written as 瑞希. 瑞 means "auspicious, omen" and 希 means "hope". it’s kind of ironic because madara always called her his good luck charm and they’re the reason he got kicked out of the family, however indirectly. (also, funnily enough, madara’s first name 斑 means “spots, freckles”. his name is practically meaningless whilst miyuki’s is chock-full of meaning). i like alliteration.

she's a sick kid (chronic illness: she has severe asthma) with a terrible relationship with her family overall. her parents are firm believers of the shinkai cult, but they aren't because of experiences in her childhood (remember when mama made his wish to try and heal her? yeah well... it didn't work and now they're disillusioned). her parents are pretty neglectful too, and she's also estranged from their brother who was out of the country a lot, so she's practically raised herself from childhood. despite all that, she still loves their brother very much and sends him anonymous fan mail, as well as diligently following his idol career and collecting all his merch.

her dream is to go into veterinary sciences. when she was younger, mama used to help them find good online courses to study since she couldn't leave the house. now they’re completing online college courses as a child genius, because she was bored a lot as a child and ended up falling down a lot of online rabbit holes. they’re technically enrolled in the same school as aoi but she never shows up on virtue of being a sickly child.

kiryu aoi. she/her. 16 years old.

aoi is written as 碧海, which is typically a boy’s name but to be fair, her parents were expecting a second son and planned accordingly. she doesn’t care as much as she used to, because it’s a connection to her family. 碧 means “blue” and 海 means “ocean, sea”. she directly contrasts her brother (the 紅 in kuro means “crimson”, and his name translates overall as “crimson moon”)

she wants to be a makeup artist when she grows up, and she practices on her brother. he doesn’t mind though, because he likes being close to her. during kuro’s delinquent years, aoi was prone to panic attacks and had many anxiety-fueled breakdowns, which made her an easy target for bullies. she was ostracised by her schoolmates for living in a “broken household” and as a result she ended up developing a snappish demeanour when around people. this is something kuro still feels guilty about, even now, because he should have been protecting her but instead he only contributed to her pain.

she’s akatsuki’s biggest fan, and she shows up to all their concerts. she’s also a secret kagamiP as well as a crazy:bP, much to kuro’s chagrin. she has a one-sided academic rivalry going on with miyuki, who is effortlessly at the top of the class, which irks aoi to no end. she’s on a lot of online forums, where she defends kuro endlessly to weirdos on the ‘net. she’s also in a lot of ensquare forums because she enjoys reading the conspiracy theories. she’s pretty much a normal girl in a normal situation.

shimizu kagami. aka “M1RROR”. they/he/she. 19 years old.

shimizu is written as 清水, and means “pure water”. kagami is written as 鏡, and means “mirror”. kagami is not their real name! it’s actually fuyuko, written as 冬子 which means “winter child”. kagami picked his name as a tribute to a friend, whose name was fuyumi, written as 冬美 which means “winter beauty”.

kagami used to be part of a childhood idol duo with fuyumi, they were called Snow2Flake. but the pressure of idol life, as well all the stress of eyes watching your every move, got to be too much which caused fuyumi to commit suicide, leaving kagami devastated. kagami took a long hiatus, before returning as an idol to fulfil fuyumi’s dream. she chose the moniker “M1RROR” and the name kagami because fuyuko was supposed to be fuyumi’s reflection when they were together. their goal as an idol is to spread the message “you are not alone”, to let people know that they are not unique in their struggles.

M1RROR is a solo idol unit that is a part of rhythm link association. kagami commonly appears on talk shows and is seen doing collaborations with other units. she is a flexible and versatile idol, known for their skill in adapting to any theme or job. however, they struggled with his gender presentation, especially what was deemed “acceptable” for idols during that time. in the end, after much soul searching, she simply decided to do whatever and live his life the way they wanted to.

reze. they/them. 16 years old.

reze, written as レゼ, which has no meaning. they are just “reze”. no last name, they are simply the p-association’s overworked secretary.

reze works a lot with anzu, and the two have a close friendship. despite being surrounded by cute idols 24/7, reze would prefer to be able to stay at home all day eating instant ramen. they are in charge of pr, which makes them want to tear their hair out. they manage majority of es’ social media, including the unit accounts. they’re supposed to make sure that the public image of all units, as well as es, remains squeaky clean. they are on the verge of putting out a hit on tenshouin eichi.

reze studied at yumenosaki, though they graduated from the general course. before anzu joined, the older students used reze as a personal secretary, much to their chagrin. reze is well-acquainted with sagami-sensei’s office, due to collapsing from overwork numerous times. reze is the oldest of four, all girls, and has a pet dog named mimi. reze’s apartment happens to contain a spare room, which has been used by many an idol in need. hence, reze makes sure that their guest room is always some degree of liveable.

[insipid-drivel]

There are a ton of notes on this post but I'd like to speak up for those of us with "scary" mental conditions that cause doctors to try to speedrun through every interaction and ultimately leave us to die.

I personally have DID, or specifically, OSDD-1B (kinda makes me feel like an SCP). Basically, I have a system of alter personalities, but unlike "classical" DID, they're fully aware of each other and of me, and rarely interfere with my memory now that we've gotten good at switching. We work together as a team and my alters have literally saved my life on multiple occasions.

The sheer lack of ANY knowledge regarding even the bare-bones "DID" is among medical professionals - psychologists and psychiatrists included - is terrifying. I often wind up burning through appointment times with doctors who get caught up needing me to teach them what my condition even is or how it works.

I have to seriously explain no, I am not a serial killer, because most DOCTORS assume that DID patients are inherently violent and enjoy hurting people. They never understand that DID and its associated conditions are entirely borne of severe psychological trauma sustained during early childhood out of a desperate need for survival and comfort.

I also have to explain that, in fact, if Alex is the one talking to the doctor, they're actually 90% more likely to have a good, cooperative, successful appointment with me than if I were fronting. However, if they refuse that basic concession that's little different than "If an elder with dementia is having an episode, just go with it or else you'll only scare and traumatize them," with regards to elder-care, then they'll only get a quivering, panic-muted mess with me, or - even worse - they'll wind up meeting Cassandra.

Cassandra puts people in the hospital when she has to. She has taken down men twice my size trying to back me in a corner and physically harm me. In high school, she once beat a violent bully attacking me and my best friend so badly it took 4 17-year-old football jocks to pull her off the bully before she was done making her point about keeping your hands off me without asking permission to touch me first.

If I'm being threatened or harmed directly and intentionally, Cassandra will get aggressive, and if the threat isn't removed immediately or she isn't able to take me out of the situation, she will respond like a cornered animal and attack, and it's 100% the doctor's fault for not listening to my warnings and guidelines on how to handle and approach me. Cassandra's job and entire reason she exists is because doctors have hurt and traumatized me too many times and are officially on her shit list.

The thing is, now that I'm vocally out about my OSDD... doctors now shut the fuck up when I talk. I can never get away from the bigotry and the unwarranted fear from people who don't even really know us, but I can at least use it to force a self-important doctor into a reality check consisting of, "Hey, you're not the expert here, and if you don't listen exactly to what I say, you're putting yourself and everyone in this room in danger."

That's when I see misogynistic faces (and I'm fucking trans and agendered gdi) turn into frightened first-day-of-residency students again. I know they're thinking of shows like Criminal Minds and Law & Order and how scawy DID is on TV. They're thinking of all the psych rounds and classes they bullshitted through because "I'll never have one of them for a patient." I know they're judging me based on characters that weren't even written by writers that bothered to do any research into what DID can actually be like. And honestly, I've grown to anticipate it.

So I let them freeze and let the "Oh shit, it's one of them," wash over them. I'm more afraid of them than they are of me, but if their fear and apprehension forces them to sit down, shut up, and listen? Then that's where we are. I didn't make them neglect their studies, and I shouldn't have to scare them for them to treat and diagnose me humanely and gently, but since doctors on average only truly listen to their patients' complaints for an average of 11 seconds before they start interrupting the patient and stop listening to them, I will use every tool trauma and nature gave me to force my doctors to give me their fucking attention.

This ABSOLUTELY works.

I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.

[goodlucktai]

Prompt 33 just screams protective nishimura so could you write that please and thankyou 🌸

PROMPTS LIST

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?”

i got several requests for this one, specifically with nishimura (and a few, even more specifically, with nishinatsu). you guys really know my brand 😌🌼

x

Kitamoto warned him, but Tanuma was still unprepared.

He's got one arm looped around Natsume's shoulders, something that happened almost entirely involuntarily, and the other is clutching Nyanko-sensei against his chest because the cat's ears are lying back and his claws are pricking through Tanuma's sleeve in an alarming way.

This leaves no hands free to corral Nishimura, and Tanuma thinks he's going to need about three more to do that anyway.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Nishimura is raging, too loud, attracting eyes from all directions. "Who the-- who do you-- who are you? The prime minister? Is this your private property? Do you own this park?"

The unfamiliar boy they bumped into is nearly a head taller than Nishimura but he seems almost cowed by him-- appropriately so, Tanuma thinks fairly, because if he were on the receiving end of this tirade, in a public space, he probably would have started crying by now. An honest assessment.

"I'm asking who you are," Nishimura all but shouts, when the boy in front of him takes more than one second to respond. "What is your name? Do you have an identity?"

"I'm-- my name is Yoshida. I know the fr-- the guy behind you. We were classmates. That's all."

"Oh, is that all," Nishimura says. It's clearly not all.

Yoshida's eyes flick past Nishimura, just for a second, but it's enough to make Natsume twitch. Tanuma doesn't miss it, since Natsume is still tucked snugly beneath his arm. Nishimura doesn't miss it either, because Nishimura is in this heightened state of pissed off that Tanuma has never witnessed before.

He snaps his fingers, says, "What's wrong with you? Don't you know it's rude not to look at someone when they're talking to you?"

It's amazing he doesn't choke on that piece of hypocrisy.

"So you used to know Natsume or whatever, and somehow, in your mind, that translates to... literally attacking him out of nowhere?"

"Nishimura," Natsume says. It's the tone of someone burdened with an impossible task, like stopping a runaway train before it crashes with nothing but his bare hands and hopeful intentions. "He didn't attack me."

Nishimura whirls around and points at him (rudely). "You be quiet! He attacked you!"

"He pushed me. I fell down. That's not an attack."

"That's literally assault! That's-- " He pats at his pockets, clearly looking for the cellphone that he shoved into Tanuma's bag two hours ago, after it died taking roughly one million pictures of the cat at the train station. "Tanuma, Google the Penal Code!"

"I'm not going to do that," Tanuma says gently.

Kitamoto did warn him. He wanted to stay home with his dad this weekend, and urged them to go visit Yuuki without him, but the second the others were distracted, he snagged Tanuma by the sleeve and drew him aside.

"I won't be there, so if something happens, it's up to you," he said. His tone was so serious and grave that for a second Tanuma thought they were talking about the yokai situation and he had absolutely no idea how to process that. And then Kitamoto added, "Nishimura tends to go off the rails a bit when someone's mean to one of his friends. I mean, you've seen it. I just really don't want my best friend getting arrested for disturbing the peace while I'm not around."

So, that was a warning. Looking back, Tanuma should have taken it to heart.

Nishimura is Tanuma's smallest friend, an inch or so shorter than Taki now, but only in stature. If he were as big as all his caring, he would tower over cities. He's right now shouting down someone much larger than he is, without an ounce of sense or self-preservation.

This is the same boy who steals out of Natsume's bento at lunch, and makes faces behind Tsuji's back when he's lecturing them about passing notes during class, and gets into heated arguments with Isamu over the TV Guide literally every time they have a sleepover at Taki's house.

And it's the same boy who taught Natsume how to swim, one sunny August day almost two years ago now, at the river because Natsume was afraid to go into the pool. The same boy who has coaxed Tanuma through more than one panic attack, his hands a familiar shape around Tanuma's own at this point.

His caring is loud, Tanuma thinks. Even when it's quiet.

A few passersby have stopped, lingering nearby like they're going to get involved, and clearly it's making Yoshida feel outnumbered. The fight went out of him about three seconds after Nishimura started yelling in the first place, so all the rest of it has maybe been a bit overkill.

"So, is he just going to keep going? Like, until he runs out of breath?" Yoshida's friend asks.

She's been standing quietly to one side this entire time. Her face had folded with disapproval when Yoshida initially pushed Natsume down, but no one had a second to get a word in edgewise before Nishimura exploded about it, and now she simply looks as though this is the best punishment for her friend that she could have hoped for.

"Um, probably," Natsume says. He's unfamiliar with her, but she smiles at him.

"I only transferred here last year," she says. "And I don't listen to gossip. And anyway, with friends like these, those rumors about you couldn't possibly be true."

Her whole demeanor is calm and self-assured. She reminds Tanuma of Tsuji, and similarly, Natsume's guard seems to relent. He smiles back at her.

This leaves Tanuma free to step away without feeling as though he's abandoning him. With Nyanko-sensei in the crook of his arm, he reaches out and draws Nishimura back by the hood of his jacket, the way he's seen Taki and Kitamoto do one hundred times a day since they were fourteen.

Nishimura squawks in outrage, and struggles against Tanuma's grip, but... well, he's little. And Tanuma has been back in karate for the past year, give or take, so his core strength is fairly solid. It only takes a small amount of effort to reel Nishimura back and tuck him under his arm.

This is better. He feels his heart start to settle. Right here, Nishimura can't fly off the handle any more than he already has, and Tanuma can keep him from getting hurt.

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” Nishimura seethes. 

“Yes,” Natsume says quickly.

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

“Satchan,” Tanuma tries, and that, at least, gets Nishimura to stew quietly for a moment instead. “You’ve made your point. I’m sure Yashido is sorry.”

"He is very sorry," Yoshida's friend says peacefully. "He'll be especially sorry once I tell his mom that her only son acted like a stupid bully. Let's go, Hiroo, before you get beat up."

She bows politely, and then carts Yoshida away. Yoshida, if anything, looks relieved to have an out, and retreats without so much as a backwards glance.

"Ugh," Nishimura says. He isn't even winded. "Ugh! Just wait till I tell Kitamoto about that creep! He'll wish he'd been here!"

Kitamoto, who is basically a modern-day prophet, will definitely wish he had been here, though not for the same reasons Nishimura seems to be thinking of. Tanuma needs to reevaluate a lot of the conversations they've had in the past. How many times has Kitamoto said something like "they almost called the cops on us" totally offhand and actually meant it?

"You're insane," Natsume says the second they're alone again. There's a mark on his cheek from where he hit the ground that will be a bruise tomorrow. When their friends see that, they'll all be quick to side with Nishimura over this, so it's important that they get as much scolding in now as possible. "I don't want you picking fights like that, okay? What if it had gone differently, and he'd hit you or something?"

"Good," Nishimura says hotly. "Then our faces would match."

This remark disarms Natsume completely, and his expression turns warm and affectionate. Nyanko-sensei makes a noise that is almost a laugh. His eyes are slitted in something like approval. Kitamoto's warning of "it's up to you" rings loudly in Tanuma's ears. Okay.

He gives Nishimura a gentle shake with the arm still curled around his shoulders, and stands firm when Nishimura looks up at him.

Or, well. Almost stands firm. He does try. He'll tell Kitamoto he tried.

"Come to karate with me next week," he says. "If you're going to pick fights with people twice your size, at least be able to back it up."

Nishimura's face lights up. If he hadn’t been there to see it for himself, Tanuma never would have guessed what he'd been doing one minute ago. This is the boy who dozes off on Natsume’s shoulder during long train rides, who complains about Nyanko-sensei stealing his food but still slips him treats beneath the table anyway, who is delighted just by the idea of spending extra time with Tanuma after school.

"Definitely! No take-backs!" he announces, thrilled. "Just wait till I tell Acchan!"

Natsume gives Tanuma a sympathetic look. Tanuma decides then and there that the next time Kitamoto stays home, he's staying home, too.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

lip sync your way into my heart

( @thecomfortofoldstorries and I got into a fun head-cannon debate last night about Tik Tok POVs and this is what happened)

--- Jaskier has never really been in the loop when it comes to social media. He was behind the curve when he made his Tumblr and he was two years late to sign up for Twitter. It’s no surprise that he finally downloads Tik Tok and makes an account several months after it’s become a viral platform.

That also means all the good usernames are taken; Jaskier types in @buttercup-bard, sees that it’s available, and calls it a day. This isn’t an app he’s going to care about. It’s just to waste time during his forty minute commute to and from campus. 

Alas, he has ADHD...and this shit is addictive.

Especially, he hates to admit, the thirst-trap hotties who do weird, obscure, edgy POV videos. Jaskier knows they’re aimed primarily towards teen and young adult women but he’s a red-blooded Redanian gay. He’s horny. He can watch a few POV Tik Toks on the bus and thirst after pretty boys with big muscles...as a treat.

By Jaskier’s second week of classes he’s found a definite favorite Tik-Tokker (is that what they’re called? Or is it influencer? Jaskier doesn’t care). The guy is gorgeous. He has beautiful honey-gold eyes and long, silvery-white hair; which is appropriate since his handle is @whitehairdontcare. He makes a wide range of content, too. Perfect for Jaskier’s Concerta-focused tastes. There are some dances here and there and some Q&A videos, but for the most part he does POVs. 

Jask and his roommates, Essi and Priscilla, have spent many happy hours poring over Mr. White Hair’s account, watching and re-watching their favorites from his vast repertoire of content. Essi loves his weird, edgy-boi shit. Stuff with titles like “POV: I fight the bully who insulted your haircut” or “POV: you make a deal with the devil for true love”. Stuff that Jaskier would have been into when he still listened to My Chemical Romance on the regular (okay, he still does, but don’t tell Essie). 

Priscilla is a huge fan of Tik Tok dances. She follows every challenge and ranks her favorites, compiling them into a YouTube series that’s more for her self-gratification than anything else. Mr. White Hair is generally towards the top of her list whenever he deigns to follow a trend that doesn’t involve badly applied makeup blood smears. The guy clearly works out and the definition of his body (and the movements of said really hot body) make the dances look so much more fluid and fun. Jaskier and Priscilla clearly share a brain-cell when it comes to appreciating Mr. White Hair’s hotness.

Jaskier’s favorites, of course, are the cute little POVs that lie scattered between all the edgy ones. Stuff made for the softies of Tik Tok. Stuff made for boys like Jaskier. “POV: I fix your car for you” is the one he’s probably re-watched the most. Mr. White Hair is lying on his back beneath a jacked-up blue car, oil smeared in a few strategic places on his face, chest, and arms. At the very end of the Tik Tok he moves the wrench out of the way of his face completely and winks directly into the camera.

Jaskier hates to admit it, even to himself, but no matter how many times he’s watched that stupid twenty-give second video, that wink drops his heart straight down into his shoes and fills his stomach with butterflies.

---

“Hey do you guys carry fake blood here?” an almost terrifyingly deep voice asks from behind him. Jaskier twirls around on his heel, Retail Smile firmly in place, and loses his shit the moment he sets eyes on his latest customer.

It’s Mr. White Hair.

Here. In the middle of the aisle of the Party City where Jaskier works every weekend. He’s either going to throw up or pass out or both. 

He doesn’t though. Instead, the Demon Lord of Retail possesses his body momentarily and nods, “Right over this way!” He leads the insanely attractive influencer over to the year-round section of Halloween FX makeup and gestures towards the shelf filled with various fake blood capsules, bottles, and packets. 

“Thanks,” Mr. White hair smiles. Jaskier nods again, silent, and drifts back towards the counter in a daze. He’s the only one on shift right now (it is not a very busy Party City) and he knows that he can’t pass out on the dirty tile floor or he’ll get fired (and perhaps tetanus). He just needs to power through the next few minutes and then he can crouch next to the helium tank and freak the fuck out.

But not until Mr. White Hair is gone.

Just as Jaskier is re-learning how to breathe normally, the sexy internet star makes his way towards the counter with an armful of products and the retail worker loses it again. Thank god for the ability to compartmentalize.

“So, just these for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem! I love your Tik Toks by the way,” Jaskier replies automatically. His eyes widen slightly. Why the fuck did I mention his Tik Toks!?

“Thanks,” the guy says and blushes. “I didn’t know they’d gotten so popular.”

“You have like two million followers?” Jaskier laughs. “I think that makes you pretty popular. Maybe even famous.”

“Oh yeah...right.” 

“Anyway, your total is going to be twenty-one fifty.”

Mr. White Hair pays and Jaskier bags all his fake blood, wondering the whole time exactly what kind of content he can look forward to seeing. More of Essi’s edgy shit, apparently. As he’s handing the plastic bag over the counter, Jaskier smiles and works up the courage to ask, “Is your hair naturally white? I don’t mean to pry, it’s just really pretty.”

Geralt’s face goes slightly pinker than before and he nods. “Yeah. Weird genetic thing. Thanks.”

“No problem. Right on,” Jaskier beams. “Well, it was nice meeting a famous person. Thanks for stopping in.”

“Thanks for helping me out,” the Tik Tokker replies. Jaskier watches him exit the store before ripping his phone from his pocket and dialing Essi. He needs to talk to her before he spirals into a giddy panic attack.

---

“Hey Jask have you seen that hot guy’s latest Tik Tok?” Priscilla asks, lounging across her futon like a queen. Jaskier looks up from his copy of The Collective History of Aedirnian Funeral Dirges and wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why?”

“You should go check your phone. I think you’ll be happily surprised.”

“Oh-kay,” Jaskier says, drawing out the ‘kay’ for as long as it takes him to get up from his seat on the floor and exit the room. He retrieves his phone from the charger in the kitchen and returns to Priscilla’s bedside. He opens his new favorite app and pulls up @whitehairdontcare’s page. There’s a new POV from earlier this morning and Jaskier taps on it. 

His eyes go round when he reads the caption: “POV: You’re the cute cashier at the Party City and I’m bad at flirting”. 

Mr. White Hair is staring into the camera with those beautifully golden eyes, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand while he lip syncs to whatever song is playing. He’s wearing a tight, navy blue v-neck and Jaskier can see the movement of every one of his ridiculously defined muscles as they flex. The silver wolf’s-head necklace Mr. White Hair always wears around his neck is in its usual place, dangling down between those perfect collarbones…

Jaskier takes a shaky breath and glances up at his friends, who are staring back at him with wide eyes. “It could be about anyone.”

“How many Party Cities do you think he went to yesterday?”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up,” Jaskier snorts. “He’s a social media influencer and I am one semester away from finishing my degree and my thesis. Why would he ever want to be with someone like me?”

Essi rolls her eyes and Jaskier goes back to his homework. 

---

Later that night, alone in his room, Jaskier plugs his earbuds into his phone and watches the Tik Tok over and over. He finds the song Geralt used and adds it to his Work Is Tough playlist, which he’s allowed to play over the loudspeakers at the store so long as he’s working a solo shift. 

He watches Mr. White Hair’s plush pink lips move around the words and dreams of kissing them someday, as far-fetched as that scenario is (because this video is definitely not for him, that’s impossible):

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry; whichever you prefer.”

Fucking Dashboard Confessional. Of course. One of Jaskier’s favorite bands from his emo days in middle school. If this really was for Jaskier, if this really was a legitimate attempt at online flirtation by Mr. White Hair himself, it was working.

 Jaskier buries his head in his pillow and sighs. 

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: Breaking Point

Relationships: Caline Bustier & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

Characters: Caline Bustier, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Alya Césaire, Max Kanté, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Juleka Couffaine, Lila Rossi, Tikki

Tags: caline bustier salt, Reveal, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste Knows, Protective Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Caline Bustier Knows, ml salt, Harassment, Lila Rossi Lies, Bad Classroom Environments, Gaslighting, enablers, Bullying ,Salt, Identity Reveal, Spitefic, Swearing, Adrien Sugar

Summary: '“For instance, being a superhero is not a viable career path,” was what made her tune in, her attention fully pulled to Mme. Bustier, who seemed to be looking right at her.' 

Note: This was written based on a prompt by @norakwami.

AO3 link

------

Marinette wasn’t really paying attention to Mme. Bustier’s lecture. To be fair, it was about career options and how to achieve them, something she had researched so completely she already had a list of universities she intended to apply to, along with possible companies to intern, all carefully tabbed in a binder at home that was also slowly filling with application and portfolio ideas.

Given that she was only fourteen and still had four more years before she reached the point of applying, she was ahead of the game. Perhaps she could be considering going to another lycée instead of the feeder for Collège Françoise Dupont, perhaps somewhere private that had a focus on fashion. But she didn’t want to put pressure on her parents, who would have to pay the tuition for such an institution, when she was already winning awards and making a name for herself through designing for Jagged Stone and the up-and-coming Kitty Section, among others.

“For instance, being a superhero is not a viable career path,” was what made her tune in, her attention fully pulled to Mme. Bustier, who seemed to be looking right at her.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Marinette felt frozen by that stare, pinned like a ladybug by an entomologist. How could she know? Did other people notice her stare?

“Ladybug is almost certainly harming her civilian future through these superhero antics, which prevent her from fulfilling all her obligations.”

Alya snorted. “That’s not Ladybug’s fault—it’s Hawkmoth’s. Ladybug protects the city. And maybe Paris should pay her for her services!”

“Ladybug is a teenager who should be concentrating on school,” Mme. Bustier declared, still staring holes into Marinette.

“Ladybug has never released her age,” Adrien murmured, his voice sounding strained. “So that’s conjecture, Mme. Bustier. How does this have to do with our future careers?”

To her horror, he turned and followed her gaze to Marinette.

She felt as though she might hyperventilate, panic rising in her gut. If she was compromised, that put her family and friends at risk, put the Miracle Box at risk, played right into Hawkmoth’s hands. She’d never been good at a poker face, and she wasn’t sure whether she was managing now.

Adrien’s eyes widened, and she knew she’d failed, at least with him. Kwami, she hoped she could trust him.

“I’m glad you asked, Adrien. For instance, Marinette, would you please share your current preparation for your future career.”

All eyes were on her, and she could feel the thoughts swirling around them as she was called out. She swallowed, trying to push it all down.

“I-I… I have a binder. At home. F-fifteen different universities with fashion p-programs. In order of where I want to go most. Also c-companies that offer internships.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves—it helped a bit. “I’ve started my portfolio, including the b-bowler hat that won M. Agreste’s contest, and my work for Jagged Stone and Kitty Section, and p-pictures of clothing I’ve designed and made.”

She could hear murmurs around her, and Alya gave a low whistle beside her.

“Girl, no wonder you don’t sleep. You’re on top of this!”

Mme. Bustier’s mouth became a thin line, her lips pressed together as though she was irritated.

Marinette wished keenly that Master Fu was still around, could handle this situation. She’d come to realize Mme. Bustier was a terrible teacher, enabling bullying and shaming victims as though they were at fault for their treatment. But this was a whole new level of awful.

“Still, the way you run off during Akuma attacks interrupts your daily life and prevents you from—”

“We all run away during Akuma attacks! They disrupt all our daily lives.”

Adrien stood, his back rigid from tension.

“Marinette has been personally targeted multiple times during Akuma attacks. So have I! A lot of this has been documented on the LadyBlog. It’s traumatizing—and we keep our memories of that because we’re not the Akuma. I run and hide, personally. Why would you shame Marinette for that?”

The class fell silent, and glancing around Marinette could see the tension in their faces, their own memories of being chased by Akuma.

Adrien had moved this away from the idea of Marinette being Ladybug to her being shamed for her reaction to Akumas. He was protecting her. And she loved him all the more for it.

“There was Evillustrator,” Marinette murmured, jumping on the red herring.

She glanced at Nathanaël apologetically. He offered a sad smile.

“I had to help Chat Noir with that. It was scary. André Glacier became Glaciator and came looking for me, and Chat Noir saved me from getting frozen. And Gamer was looking for me. Chat Noir saved me again.”

She could see Max wince across the aisle.

“Reflekta turned me into her clone because she was mad at me. And it was my fault.”

Marinette turned and mouthed ‘sorry’ to Juleka.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Juleka whispered, then cringed as she realized her voice had carried far enough for everyone to hear.

She smiled, then turned back to the front.

“My own grandmother tried to turn me into coal when she was Akumatized because she was upset I wasn’t like eight years old anymore—Chat Noir saved me again there, too. And then my dad was Akumatized and Chat Noir and Ladybug had to save me again.”

Marinette hadn’t been able to transform, needing to be saved as a civilian before she could get back as Ladybug. Too many of them had been so public she’d had to trust Chat Noir would be able to hold his own until she got there—and she did, but she was afraid sometime that would be fatal.

“And I saw footage when Adrien was dropped from a building and then when Volpina pretended to drop him from the Eiffel Tower. That’s terrifying!”

She didn’t turn around to look at Lila. Instead she looked at Adrien, who was still standing, alternating between glaring at Mme. Bustier and glancing back at her with concern in his eyes.

“And then there’s mind control Akumas, like with Miracle Queen. I’m scared of Akumas, Mme. Bustier. Even when they’re across the city, they won��t always stay there, and I want to hide. And I refuse to be ashamed of that!”

It wasn’t a lie, either. Civilian her absolutely wanted to hide—and did, just behind a mask.

She turned her attention to the teacher, keeping her back straight, remembering she had Adrien on her side, even if she wished he didn’t know—damn Bustier for that. Marinette steeled herself.

“I don’t understand why you’ve singled me out to try to imply I alone am somehow failing to perform because of Akumas, but you always seem to do this. I’m at fault for being bullied. I need to be an example and not react when my belongings are destroyed and my locker is broken into. Or when someone gets me expelled by somehow putting test answers in my bag and a new Gabriel-brand necklace—supposedly an heirloom—in my locker that’s been broken into before. I’ve spent the last year feeling I’m not allowed to have emotions. But this is the last straw.”

Marinette stood, picking up her bag. When she glanced down Tikki was giving her the Kwami version of a thumbs up.

“Frankly, Mme. Bustier, you have been toxic for my mental health for quite some time. Time I’ve spent researching to discover what you’re doing isn’t appropriate for the classroom; it’s abusive and reportable. If you’ll excuse me, I need to speak to the M. Damocles, as well as my parents. And perhaps the Board of Governors, as I am no longer willing to tolerate this treatment and its continued harm to my education.”

With that, she marched down the stairs, past an open-mouthed Bustier, and out of the classroom, holding her head high.

Once in the open hallway, clear of the windows, she deflated.

“Well, fuck,” she whispered. “I guess I get to do research on a new collège, too.”

She supposed, at least, she’d been successful at diverting Bustier from the Ladybug accusations; the last thing she needed was for Ladybug-hater Lila to know and come after her.

“You and me both.”

Adrien’s voice behind her nearly made her jump out of her skin. She was relieved to see no one else had followed him. She could hear the hullaballoo of the classroom behind her, all control having been lost.

He quirked a grin. “We’re in it together, Bugaboo. As always.”

She stared, feeling like there was a hamster lolling on the wheel of her thoughts instead of running to turn it.

Adrien took her arm. “Come on. I’ll support you. Let’s go talk to M. Damocles.”

“Ch-Chat?” Marinette managed in a hiss as her brain finally caught up.

He gently guided her forward. “My Lady.”

She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh, cry, scream, or some combination of the three. But as they approached M. Damocles’ office, Marinette pushed the issue aside.

After all, she had work to do, and Ladybug didn’t leave work unfinished.

[destiniesfic]

132 Hours, Chapter 2:

“Say ‘please?’”

“Fuck off, Greenbriar.”

“Close enough.”

Previous

Read chapter 2 on AO3 or read below:

This is the shape of my nightmares:

My sister Taryn and I are thirteen years old, sick and miserable. We’ve just endured our first heats and stayed home from school for a week with doctor permission. Even now, we feel residual awfulness: headaches and sore muscles. Heats are painful when there’s no one to help you through them, and obviously we’re too young to mate. We sheltered in our rooms, and our adoptive father briefly hired an omega nurse to tend to our high temperatures and help us wrap up in blankets, so at least we felt safe and cocooned.

Everybody knows why we missed school, and they whisper about it behind our backs. Even before we presented, our designation was obvious. The rest of our class—the rest of the school—is alpha kids, and the ones in our year have all started growing out of their baby fat, shooting up like wheat stalks. Taryn and I are only barely taller than we were last year, our cheeks are still soft, and we are gaining weight in our hips and chests. Everything about this is awful. Nothing is fun.

We are outside for gym class. The alpha kids, growing into their bodies, have a lot of extra energy, so they need to spend time circling the track or tackling each other in games of capture the flag. Taryn and I will join them until we get tired, but if we show signs of flagging, we’re benched. Omegas aren’t as sturdy. Omegas break.

Today, the teacher is more generous. During our game of capture the flag, she simply mandates we play defense, guarding the precious flag, and abstain from running around with our classmates. It’s boring, but fine. We get to talk to each other while the alphas tussle among themselves upfield.

Except a few of them are “on defense” today too—the alpha elites, too lazy or too important for gym, who can slack off. As the only two omegas on school grounds who aren’t staff, Taryn and I are categorically beneath their notice, but we know every member of the clique by name: Locke, the son of a wealthy consultant who’s never home, always traveling; Nicasia, whose mom is a senator; Valerian—nobody knows what his family does so we all kind of assume it’s crime; Cardan, the youngest of six heirs to the most absurd family fortune this side of the Rockies.

Already, they are taller than us, stronger than us, looking unfairly sculpted in the autumn sun. Already I am aware of how we are different.

Then the wind blows past me, picking up my hair. And the scene changes.

The first thing I notice when Cardan unexpectedly strides toward me is that he smells amazing. He smells so incredible that I goggle at him for a second, baffled by how I somehow didn’t notice this about him before. I feel a clenching in my stomach and the urge to do something, although at the time I don’t know what. And then, while I am paralyzed by his scent, he gives me a hard shove for no reason, knocking me off-balance.

I land on my backside, an embarrassing but safe place to land, padded with muscle and fat. Our adoptive father always taught us that it’s better to land there than anywhere else, better to suffer a little humiliation than to crack your skull open or shatter your ankle or wrist. It still smarts, but at least the only thing bruised is my pride.

Then Valerian throws his head back and laughs. “That’s where she belongs,” he crows. “On her back, like a good little omega.”

Nicasia thinks that’s hilarious. Locke raises his eyebrows, blinking at us with large, tawny eyes. And Cardan, the instigator. Cardan just sneers.

That sneer has haunted me. I’ve seen it countless times since then. He starts holding his nose when he passes me in the hallway. Whenever I get complacent, he makes sure to whisper in my ear that I reek. He and his friends seem to find it more fun to bully the alphas smaller or weaker than them—omegas already know their place, after all—but that does not protect us when they’re bored, or when said alphas further down the food chain need to take out their own aggressions.

I think they thought it would break me.

They couldn’t know it would do the opposite.

---

“Jude?”

I open my eyes to a darkened room, and groan. I feel vaguely like I’ve been run over by a truck, then the truck stopped and someone picked me up and threw me in the back of it, and we proceeded to drive down a very bumpy road. In other words: like shit. My head throbs, and when I try to sit up, the world spins and I flop back over.

“What happened?” I mutter. Everything is greyish and blurry. Dim light seems to be filtering in from somewhere above my head and to the left, but there isn’t very much of it. I hold my hand up in front of my eyes and squint at it until I stop seeing double.

There’s a relieved sigh from somewhere past my hand. A male voice. “You’re okay.”

I make a second attempt at sitting up and am more successful this time. My shoulder scrapes against a wall to my right, so I lean into it. The light source I clocked before is a small window, longer than it is wide, set high up above me. And on the other side of the room, sitting across from me, sits the dark shape of a boy, or a man, or someone caught eternally in between those two things.

Cardan.

I blink at him. “You look like shit.”

“Yeah, you too.” Cardan rubs his eye. He isn’t sneering now. In fact, he looks worse than I’ve ever seen him. His hair is messy—which is nothing new, people are doubtless running their hands through it all the time with how perpetually tousled it seems—but there are circles under his eyes and he looks pale. He’s also bleary-eyed and squinting a little. He doesn’t seem to have any visible injuries, though, although jury’s out on whether that’s good or bad. I’ve often thought he could stand to get pushed around a little more, instead of always being the one to do the pushing.

“I gave you the mattress,” he says, gesturing at what I’m sitting on. “There was only one.”

I look down. I’m indeed sitting on a mattress. There’s no linens, but someone has thrown a slightly scratchy blanket over the lower half of my body. I peer around, dread sinking in as I begin to grasp the severity of our situation. “Oh, fuck.”

“I think it’s ransom,” Cardan volunteers. “I mean, I really can’t think of anything else it would be.”

I hug my arms to my chest and say the thing drilled into every omega’s brain since they’re old enough to wander off from their parents. “What about sex slavery?”

“Yeah, there’s not a huge demand for alpha men on the black market. Although…” He looks down at himself and smirks a little. He’s built like a classical sculpture and he is well aware of this fact. “Can’t blame them if they decided to make an exception.”

It’s impossible to think he’s making a joke about this, not when it’s actually a thing that could happen to me, a possibility that my stepmother Oriana warned us of ever since she married Madoc and inherited his adopted twins. Sex slavers looking to snatch up omega girls became our bogeymen.

But the odds are that Cardan’s right: it’s probably ransom. I imagine people would do and have done worse to get their hands on a fraction of the late Eldred Greenbriar’s billions.

But I say, “Maybe someone finally got tired of you being annoying as shit.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Feeling mouthy, are we?”

“Fuck off. This is your fault,” I accuse, wagging a finger at him. “You did this.”

Cardan blinks at me. “What, you think I kidnapped myself?”

“Not literally.” I slump back against the wall. “Although it seems like something you would do. You love attention.”

“Ah, yes. All of the attention I am getting from you in our cozy eight-by-ten cell. I’m just soaking it in.” He pantomimes splashing water on his face. “Great for the skin.”

“You’re in a playful mood.” But of course he’s feeling better than me. He would have needed a larger dose—of the chloroform? ether? they used on us to get us here—but he also would have bounced back quicker. Everything about alpha biology is kind of extra like that.

“I joke a lot when I’m nervous.” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I am actually freaking the fuck out.”

“Oh, great.”

“I do have water, though. Thought that might interest you.”

I sit up a little straighter. “God, my head is killing me. Yes.”

“Say ‘please?’”

“Fuck off, Greenbriar.”

“Close enough.”

Instead of getting up, which I think for a moment he might, he rolls the half-empty bottle of water across the floor and over to me. It bumps against the edge of the mattress and I have to lean over to grab it, which nearly makes me hurl then and there. The water helps, though. It’s room temp, but even a mouthful makes me feel more like a person.

“It’s not drugged,” Cardan calls. “Surprised you didn’t ask in advance.”

I flip him off. After I’ve drained the last of the bottle, I let myself just breathe, counting backwards from ten in my head. There are many warring emotions vying to tip me over the edge of a panic attack, but I can’t let them. I have to get out of here.

Cardan flicks at a bit of dust on the floor. When I am on three, he interrupts my mindful breathing. “You realize that, technically, we have now swapped saliva?”

“Ew.” I throw the empty water bottle at him and am annoyed when he catches it effortlessly from the air. “Could you be, like, useful for once in your life?”

“Sure.” He leans forward and lowers his voice, like he’s afraid someone might overhear. “There are three of them. One’s a woman, I think the other two are men. The only one I’ve seen is tall and white and barely spoke a word to me. He dropped off the water when I was still groggy.”

That is useful. Dammit. I frown. “Designation?”

“Dunno. Couldn’t get a read on him. I think they might be using maskers for their scents.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I exhale. “Tall” doesn’t have to mean alpha—my sister Vivi, who’s shorter than me, is proof enough of that. But it doesn’t sound good. “Any idea where we are?”

“I don’t think we’ve left Long Island. I don’t know for sure, though. We could be in Jersey for all I know.”

“Right.” I sigh again and rub my temples. “Okay, so ransom. Ransom. You could technically pay the ransom yourself, right? You’re over eighteen—”

“I’m twenty.” When I blink at him, he clarifies, “Repeated sixth grade, remember? And I just had my birthday in July.”

How could I forget? My life wasn’t exactly blissful before he came along, but it definitely got worse when he got bumped down to my year. “Okay, you’re twenty, and your dad died last year. So you’ve got your own money now.”

Cardan raises his eyebrows. “Wow. Real considerate.”

Now is definitely not the time to quibble over manners, but I manage, “Sorry, I guess.”

“Don’t be. He was a dick.” I glare at him, but he ignores me, patting down the pockets of his skinny jeans. “Huh, you know, when they took my phone and my wallet, they must have also taken the special checkbook I keep on me just for hostage situations. Think they’d accept Venmo?”

“Very funny.”

“But the real issue here is that I can’t touch my trust until I turn twenty-one.”

I wish I could say that didn’t interest me, but it does. Sure, Madoc has money. He’s a ruthlessly efficient attorney with killer instincts, and, among other prominent clients, he’s represented Cardan’s dad and both of his older brothers at one point or another. But he’s not among the alpha ultra-rich. Private helicopter rich. Secluded island rich. And I’m nosy enough about how the point one percent of the one percent lives. Anyone would be. So I ask, “Why’s that?”

“Why did my dad do anything?” Cardan folds his hands behind his head. “To make my life difficult, I guess. It was probably to ensure I wouldn’t embarrass myself by buying and crashing seventeen Porsches in a row. Give that frontal lobe time to develop. He’s not here to say. Anyway, Balekin’s the trustee. Maybe there’s some clause about life-threatening emergencies.”

Balekin is Cardan’s oldest brother, but thinking about siblings makes me wonder, with a pang in my chest, about Taryn. What had she done when she and Locke couldn’t find me at the party? Had she panicked? Had she gotten home safe? I don’t want to think about Madoc because he’s probably freaking out in a big way, a side of him I have only seen once before, the last time someone threatened me. It’s more likely that he’ll tear the kidnappers limb from limb than give into anybody’s demands. I hope Balekin has a more level head, although given his reputation for throwing massive parties, I am not counting on it.

“Right,” I say. “So they’ll hit up Balekin for the money?”

“Dude, I don’t know. Honestly? He might have staged this himself to get at the trust, or more likely my stake in the corporation. In some ways, I think it’s better for my family if I disappear.”

It surprises me to hear him say that. “Wouldn’t—that would be a huge scandal, though?”

I don’t say what I think, which is Don’t they love you? But there’s a pretty big age gap between Cardan and his oldest siblings. They could be practically strangers for all I know.

Cardan just shrugs and looks gloomy.

“I don’t think they planned on getting me, too,” I say quietly. There’s only one mattress in the room. One bottle of water on hand for when Cardan woke up. And anyone who thinks they can extort “Mad Dog” Madoc is definitely biting off more than they can chew. But that curdles my stomach, because if Cardan hadn’t chased me down the beach, I probably would have woken up in my lavender canopied bed, safe. Probably with a killer headache from overstimulation, but safe. As safe as I can ever be.

“Yeah,” Cardan agrees, which doesn’t help me feel any better. “Wrong place, wrong time.”

I blow out a breath. “Well, Balekin better pay up in the next forty-eight hours, or we need to figure out how to get out of here. Otherwise we’re going to have problems.”

“We are?”

I swallow. I hate that I have to spell it out for him. But I keep my voice even, casual. “Unless you’ve got spare heat suppressants on you.”

Cardan looks dumbstruck. “Oh,” he says after a moment. “Shit, no. I must have left them in my other jeans with my hostage checkbook.”

I feel myself blush, which is ridiculous. Unregulated heat cycles, messy and inconvenient as they are, are nothing to be ashamed of, as everyone says. Just a quirk of biology. Just the way I am. There’s even a group of pretty radical omega activists out there fighting to destigmatize unregulated cycles, citing the damage that suppressants can wreak on the body. Except my designation is going to be pretty problematic if I’m locked in this room with Cardan for reasons other than societal stigma.

To be honest, it’s already a problem. The room is probably ten feet long, not long enough for us both to lie down across from each other without curling up to avoid touching. I am already hyper-aware of his presence, the nervous drumming of his long fingers, the terrible urge I have to run my fingers through his already messy curls. It’s just chemistry, but if it’s bad now, it’ll be about eighty times worse for both of us if I go into heat.

And if any of our captors are also alphas…

I shake myself all over. I can’t go down that road. I’ll never pull myself back. I’ll just curl up in a little ball and then it’ll be up to Cardan to save us, which, no thank you. “Yeah. So, one way or another we have to get out of here.”

Cardan goes pale. “Jude, I—”

“So we assume nobody’s coming,” I continue. “Use the next twenty-four hours to figure out as much as we can about the people who’ve taken us and where we’re being held, and the next twenty-four to escape. That’s the plan.”

“That’s a reasonable plan,” he says, vaguely startled.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“I’m not. You were valedictorian, of course you have a plan. Just, uh, my mind went totally blank when you pointed out you’d—”

“We don’t have to talk about it, okay?” I snap. “I assume you want that just as much as I do.” Which is not at all.

The way he pales further tells me I’m not far from wrong. I mean, he’s always made it clear how much he’s hated my scent, the way I look, the fact that I get better grades than him. He hates pretty much everything about me, because I am an omega and he is an alpha, and that means he should be on top of the world and I should know my place.

I massage my temples, trying to clear my head. “No, we’re going to get out of here before that happens.”

For reasons I can’t pretend to understand, that seems to reassure Cardan. He nods and unfolds his arms, letting his head fall back against the wall. His eyes close. “Okay.”

I am surprised that he seems at all willing to trust me, but I suppose he is pretty low on options. That’s his mistake. Already I am thinking of what a relief it will be to leave him behind, even though I know that, morally speaking, I should be formulating an escape plan for the both of us. Besides, abandoning Cardan to his fate wouldn’t really solve any of my problems. But I wouldn’t have to face his sneer anymore, wouldn’t have to wonder what it would take to convince him I have earned my place when the answer is clearly “Nothing, ever.”

“I just have to figure out how,” I mutter under my breath.

Cardan cracks one dark eye open to look at me, but I ignore him, staring up at the little window. There has to be a way to crack this place open like a nut, and if there is, I’ll find it. There is no other option but this, no other way but out.

I refuse to believe otherwise.

Next

[aknosde]

I have a lot of thoughts about Percy’s junior year because Rick is stupid and literally forgot about an entire year of Percy’s life. I also made the executive decision that this is the year Percy backslides (but can you really call it backsliding if he never worked through the trauma?) Without further ado

with a little mist they patch up Percy’s extended absence but decide it’s better if he doesn’t go back to Goode. He doesn’t really care because he didn’t have any friends there besides Rachel, this is where he goes to AHS (literally the only thing I know about TOA, and the rest of it will be ignored)

He’s not going to school with Annabeth because she said senior year together, so she’s still in California, which he’s thankful for so he doesn’t have to feel like he’s disappointing her

Originally he had been reported as missing, but now that he’s back it raises too many questions (this is where they use the mist) so it’s resulted in a really weird transcript that makes it very unclear if he actually finished his sophomore year (he did it online over the summer, and he did pretty well too)

As always he is singled out as ‘the weird kid’. This is because he only wears the longer versions of the uniform (even when it’s really hot out), has a problem with staring, and the grey streak in his hair (ignoring cannon for this one)

He makes approximately two friends (kinda?) and all of the popular kids hate him

There’s this ‘professional administrative counselor and student consultant’ who isn’t an actual counselor and thinks Percy is hella sus. A lot of its because Percy’s transcript and record, but basically he tries to not let ‘bad kids’ into AHS and he wants Percy to leave so the school’s reputation doesn’t get tarnished

Some of the teachers are nice but a lot of them are ableist

Due to that and Percy’s severely under diagnosed PTSD, anxiety, and depression, his grades really fall, but he doesn’t tell anyone

Chemistry is his favorite class and chemistry and history are the only classes he does well in.

This one popular kid who is on the football team or something really likes to physically bully people and in Percy’s attempt not to reveal how strong he is he just subs in for the kids who used to receive a regular beating instead of fighting back

At one point he accidentally catches a punch on reflex (while tons of people are watching, mind you) and freaks out, blah blah blah, that fight ends up with his hand severely broken in multiple locations

BUT he doesn’t like going to the hospital/doctor’s/nurse’s because those are the people who ask a lot of questions about his scars and old injuries and such, so he just walks around for like four hours with a broken hand

(insert my Percy is ambidextrous head cannon here, which comes into play)

eventually his (kinda)friends make him go to the nurse and it’s just straight up not a good time for anyone. Paul has to pick him up. He has to go to the ER. This is when he really starts lying to his parents because he doesn’t want them to know about the fights

He’s kinda all over the place on who he’s talking to, which he feels guilty about, but he just doesn’t have the energy to talk to people who knew him before all this because it’s harder to fake being that happy again (even though he wasn’t that happy even then)

Which brings me to something a bit happier, every Friday he visits Camp Jupiter. No matter what. He started it about a month after the war, it keeps him connected with Hazel and Frank and some other people he was friendly with, but the new thing is Reyna

It takes a bit to get through all of the stuff between them, but they end up becoming really good friends, to the extent that she, Hazel, and Frank become the sole people that he confides in. (Reyna knows that they’re special, but the other two don’t)

There is definitely a big fight he has with Sally in his second semester, and he shows up at Reyna’s quarters, it’s 11 pm, she opens the door wordlessly and he spends the weekend at CJ.

Reyna’s also the person he talks to most about Gabe. He has a lot of built up stuff there and she works through some residual feelings towards her dad too.

He and Nico are in a lot of contact during this year, with varying degrees of tension. They start off really well, but as Percy falls further back it gets a really weird vibe because he still has a whole thing about protecting Nico. Basically Percy’s not good at being vulnerable right now. But they do get better and eventually develop a sibling like relationship.

Talking about sibling like relationships: Hazel! She’s amazing. Due to the Friday visits and her and Percy already being super close she starts calling him her brother really quickly and he picks up on it immediately. She’s probably the person he’s most honest too, and they spar a lot.

His and Annabeth’s relationship is kinda weird too. They both still really love each other, and they talk a lot, she starts working through some of her issues and he’s really good about being there and helping her, but he’s also really good at hiding his own problems around her. (This is a new development, she could read him until he went missing or Tartarus, I haven’t decided) 

He becomes really spotty at communication. Sometimes he won’t text back for a week, and he used to be really good at getting back to people. This is the only thing Annabeth has evidence of. The rest is just a feeling of off-ness so she can’t really see that something’s wrong with him.

Panic attacks and breakdowns become supper common for him. Usually at least one a day, but he’s good about hiding it. However his powers, tied to his emotions, start going haywire and that’s really difficult to hide, especially at school.

He has a really bad panic attack during chemistry one day and his friends find him in the bathroom and try to get the nurse and get him to go home. It wasn't very pretty. 

He looses so much sleep that it rivals Annabeth ‘I stay up ‘till 3 for fun’ Chase

Also becomes a low-key vigilante? Not really, but he does stop several robberies and muggings and its just the right number to look a little suspicious but also not. 

during this whole ordeal he’s spending a lot of time at the school’s pool. At first there isn’t much swimming because he’s still afraid of drowning/suffocation, but Reyna’s just like “Well if you became a better swimmer that wouldn’t be as big of a problem” and he rolls with it. 

Part of his whole healing thing is learning more about competitive swimming and talking with the swim coach. And of course he gets really good at it. Sometime during his second semester he does end up joining the team.

It’s past competition season but the coach thinks he needs it so he just,,, joins

He actually gets along with most of the team REALLY well, and around this time he works on strengthening his relationship with his (kinda)friends, not his actual friends.

Honestly I’ve been considering turning these into a fic, so maybe when I finish Peanut m&m’s there will be another multi chapter in my future.

[hateswifi]

Sweet Lullaby

So remember not too long ago when I asked you if you wanted to see a Jason singing fic? Well here it is, I hope you enjoy This short story. Sibling Jasonette. (Just under 3,000)

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For as long as Jason Peter Todd could remember, he had always been the main caregiver to his little sister Marianne Jiayang Todd, well his half-sister.  His mother was working as a full-time doctor to help support their small family. Most days it was hard to quiet the poor little Mari, as Jason called her because all she wanted was her mother, but he quickly learned that the Spanish lullabies his abuela used to sing helped her calm down. 

This is the trick he used when Marianne was two and their stepfather was sent to jail. Mari loved her dad but didn’t get to spend much time with him because her dad hadn’t wanted Mari. She was a mistake in her parents’ eyes, but to Jason, she was his foundation. 

She kept him centered when their mother died when Marianne was just eight. Jason helped repay her by singing Abuela’s lullabies. He helped raise a bit of money by singing on the corner or train station during the day and when they couldn’t reach ends meet, he would take the rest. Mari didn’t like it when Jay-Jay stole, but she knew they needed to survive somehow. 

On one particular night, Jason had gone too big, he tried to steal the Batmobile’s tires. He was caught and took into the care of Bruce Wayne. There was one problem, Bruce called GPD on Marianne. She was taken away and Jason never heard about her again, so he thought the worst had happened. He became depressed and reckless on patrol and almost got himself killed multiple times. 

“Bruce do you know what happened to Marianne?” Jason had asked one day almost two years after he was adopted. He was now fifteen with Marianne being ten. 

“From what I was told, GPD found her hurt and I don’t know anything after that, I’m sorry Jason, but you can ask if there was a different outtake,” Bruce says, patting Jason’s shoulder as Bruce walks past him out of the room to give him time. 

Jason started doing something he hadn’t done since he had found out his sister wasn’t coming with him, he cried. Not just cried, sobbed. He fell to his knees and sobbed into his hands. Not too long after he runs down to the police department. “Please tell me you have news on Marianne Todd.”

“And you are?” an officer says, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m her brother, Jason Todd, I really need to know what happened to her,” Jason pleads. 

“Do you have proof of your relationship with her?” 

“Here’s my student ID,” Jason says, taking out his wallet. 

“Where’s your guardian?” 

“He’s in a meeting. Please I need to know what happened to her.”

“Come back with your guardian then we’ll talk.” The officer said, leaving Jason alone. Little did that officer know that Jason would sneak back into the police station later that night. “Let’s see, let’s see,” he mutters, flipping through a file cabinet with a flashlight in his mouth. “Ah-Ha!” He says, quietly pulling out the file. Marianne Jiayang Todd, badly injured, sent to the hospital to heal, later adopted by a family in Paris. Jason ran back to the manor and packed a bag including money, clothes, and the picture he had with him and his Mari. The was a problem along the way to the airport, he ran into the Joker. Batman tried to save him, but it was too late and Jason had died. 

He was brought back to life six months later by Talia Ra’ Ghul in hopes of taking down the legacy of the Bat Clan. Talia suppressed his memories of everything from Red Hood to where Marianne was living and also him into thinking Marianne was dead. Not thinking Jason had anything to live for decided to help Talia on her mission.

Marianne missed her brother, he hadn’t come home since his last job. He had become worried about Jay-Jay’s safety so she decided to look for him. She made it a couple of blocks away from their shelter before she was attacked, she had a broken arm from being pushed down along with a concussion. She got up a tried to walk back to the shelter so Jay-Jay would find her but she got kicked in the ankle and it was snapped. After that, the little couple of coins she had and was left for dead.

She was surrounded by a wash of red and blue lights. She felt herself being lifted but didn't have the energy to fight. “Jay-Jay, where are you?” she mutters.

“Miss, can you tell me your name? Where are your parents?”

“Marianne Todd, Mom is dead, Dad is in jail have you seen Jay-Jay?”

“Can you tell me what hurts Anne?”

“My ankle, hand, and head. Where’s Jay-Jay? I want Jay-Jay!”

“Anne you need to calm down, we’re going to take you to the hospital.”

She doesn’t remember much after that. She wakes up, what she is told the next day, with two casts and the lights dimmed.

“Miss, we were unable to locate your brother, and do to the fact you have no guardian, we found a family who would love to adopt you,” the social worker said. “The only problem is that the family lives in Paris, but they happen to be here on vacation.” (I realize there are many steps to adoption but this is just fiction).

“B--bu...but my brother, Jay-Jay, can’t I can’t leave him,” Marinette stutters out, her breathing becoming faster.

“Anne you need to calm down, you need to breathe,” the doctor says. “Can you breath with me?”

“Nam- My my name is no not Anne, it its Marianne,” she stutters out, catching her breath.

“Ok Marianne would you like to get some fresh air?”

“Th- that wou- would be fine.” she says.

“I can not stress how important it is that we discuss this,” the social working stresses, as the doctor leaves the room, dragging the social worker along.

“Can’t you see that she is in no condition to talk about that right now?!” the doctor yells. “She needs to be calm before she accepts the fact that she’s moving to a different continent.”

“I’ll be back in a half-hour,” the social worker said, walking the hall.

“C- can sing umm you sing to me?” Marianne asks, sitting down on the bench.

“I’m not too good, but I can try,” the doctor laughs. 

Marianne sits quietly listening to the song, wind, and the world around them. She starting to calm down.

“Thank you. Jay-Jay sings to me, sometimes even in Spanish,” Marianne says. “Just like Abuela did.”

“Would you be able to talk to the social worker now?” Marianne hesitates, looking up at the doctor. “Don’t worry Marianne, we can take a break if you need it.”

“Ok then,” Marianne sighs, reluctantly.

“Perfect! Times up,” the social worker says, approaching the bench. “So during that half-hour, the parents go there!”

“Hello, Marianne, my name is Sabine, this is my husband, Tom,” the short Asian woman, Sabine, said, squeezing the giant man’s arm.

“Are you ready to head to your new home?” Tom asks, smiling. Marianne nods, standing up.

“She has to have a check-up in a week for her concussion, as her doctor has said,” the doctor said, standing up.

“Wait, I thought you were her doctor?” the social worker says.

“No, I’m an on-call psychiatrist,” the doctor answers, crouching down to Marianne’s height. “Marianne, you ever need anything, call me here.” 

Marianne looks at the card. “Harleen Quinzel?”

“Yep, that’s me! Call me if you need anything ok,” Dr. Quizel said, standing up. “You can call me, Harley, ok?”

“Thank you, Harley,” Marianne says, hugging her waist.

“Bye, Marianne,” Dr. Quinzel waves as Marianne walks off with Tom, Sabine, and the jerk social worker.

Two years later, Marianne Jiayang Todd turned Marinette Jiayang Anne Dupain-Cheng loved living in France even though Jay-Jay wasn’t with her. Her new Mama and Papa were great and treated her like the Princesita that Jay-Jay told she deserved to be. If someone brings up Jason, without Marinette initiating the conversation, she has a panic attack. She doesn’t bring up Gotham much, but when she does she smiles at the good memories and sings along to the sweet lullabies Jason used to sing. Marinette took Dr. Quinzel up on her offer to talk, so once a month they have an hour conversation about life among other things, even after she became Harley Quin, their phonecalls continued like clock-work.

One day, two years after being adopted, she got a call, it was Harley, even though it was not her normal day, Mari still picked up. 

“Hey, Auntie, what’s the matter?” Marinette, now ten, answered.

“I’m quittin’ the villain life. My puddin’ just killed an innocent boy who reminded me too much of you. Can you put your parents on the phone?”

“Of course Auntie! Mama, Papa, Auntie Harley wants to talk to you,” Marinette said.

“Coming sweetie,” Sabine answered, her footsteps following not too long after. “Yes, Harley?”

“Can I come live with you guys for like a week or two?”

“Yes, what’s the matter?” 

“Ya know how I got dragged into bein’ a villain? Well, my boyfriend, Joker killed an innocent boy and I don’t think I’m mentally fine to be alone right now,” Harley’s voice came through the phone a bit shaky.

“It’s ok Harley, but just know that when you are living here, you’ll need to be crime-free, help out around the house, and Marinette,” Sabine said sternly.

“Ok, I promise,” Harley promised before hanging up.

“What happened to Auntie?”

“Nothing sweetie, she’s just tired, but we’ll see her soon, ok?” Marinette nods. “Ok time for bed.”

Harley came and stayed the two weeks, and later got an apartment near the bakery. Sabine and Tom hired Harley for help in the bakery and watching Marinette. Harley was first to find out that Ladybug. That lead to her parents finding out. She was great friends with her bench partner, Alya and the other girls in her class as well as Nino and Adrien. That was until Lila came and destroyed almost all of her friendships, Alya, Nino, and Adrien stayed true friends to her. Lila convinced everyone that Chloe was unsafe to be around and they bullied her until she changed schools. Marinette was on the verge of transferring especially after heritage day.

“I’m going to be talking about my mother’s heritage,” Marinette said, pulling up her slide show.

“You’re adopted though, do you mean your birth mother or Sabine?” Lila says ‘innocently.’

“I was adopted young so I don't know much about my birth parents,” Marinette defends, putting a hand on her hip.

“Well then just tell us about your life before you were adopted,” Ms. Bustier said.

“No Ms. Bustier you don’t understand--” Alya said, standing up.

“Alya, everyone has to participate,” Ms. Bustier said, shushing her. “Now you need to do as everyone else or you can go to the office.”

“Ya know what? Fine! I was born with a shitty father, who was sent to jail when I was four, a mother, who worked as a doctor so she wasn’t around. My step-brother took care of me for as long as I can remember with the help with his Abuela,” Marinette said, tears welling in her eyes. “We lived on the streets for a while after my mother’s death. My brother sang to make money. Nig-- one nigt when eig- I… I was eight, he didn’t co- come home... so I went out looking for him. I got got hurt and hospitalized where my Mama and Papa adopted me.” She finished, tears streaming down her face. 

“What’s your brother’s name?” Ms. Bustier asks.

“Th- that- that’s no-not im-imp-important,” Marinette stutters, rubbing her face. “Ummm… I got-- have to go- go.”

Marinette cried in the bathroom, Alya following closely behind her. “Girl do you want to go home?”

“N… no Ask- Mama and Papa ask-- will ask,” Marinette cried, hugging her. “Can we just stay here?”

“Of course Mari.”

“Can you sing?”

“Of course.” After a song, Marinette is calm enough to go back to class. 

“We’ll be going to Gotham for our yearly trip as planned by our class president, Lila,” Ms. Bustier announces near the end of class. A tear slipped down her face hearing this, but she decided to she missed Gotham, her home. Aunt Harley promised to come and be there just in case something happened to her.

Jason went back to Gotham after Talia finished training him. He was determined to get revenge for the Bats taking away his princesita. The Bats let her die and they were going to pay for it.

Marinette’s class was at the Museum of Gotham, then there was a problem, Joker attacked. Marinette distracted Joker and his goons so the class could getaway. She kneels down as the goons ties her arms behind her back.

“You’re pretty bold little foreign girl, but I guess that makes sense because you don’t know how dangerous I am,” Joker says, putting a finger under her chin to lift her head. “Perfect hostage, blue eyes, raven hair, just like Batsy likes. Watch her, the rest,  follow me.” He finished, walking away.

When she heard the door click she subtly turned her head to see where the goons where. She starts crying, cathing a goon’s attention. “Shut up girl.” the goon commands. When she doesn’t stop the goon approaches her so head butts him in the stomach before standing. She jumps over tied arms and swings at the goon that came over as soon as the first goon was hit. The third one tries to grab her from behind, so she kicks him the groin as he falls she kicks him in the nose.

She hears noises at the door that Joker and a couple of his goons left by. As she’s about to open it when the doorknob wiggles before being thrown open. The youngest Robin stood on the other side.

“Are you ok, miss?”

“Umm… yes, I’m ok, but you should those guys, the last guy might have a broken nose,” Marinette said, pointing with both hands towards the room. “Can you help me untie this?”

“Um sure!” He said, untying the ropes. 

“Hey! We got another in here, heavily armed, dangerous,” Red Robin called from the previous room.

Robin left the room, telling her to stay there, but Marinette being the person she is, didn’t listen. She entered the room to see a man in a tan trench coat and a red helmet. 

“You didn’t even try to help her! You left her for dead,” he screamed.

“Who? There a lot of people we can’t save but we try everything we can,” Nightwing said.

“Marianne! She’s all I had! You’re all going to pay!” He screamed.

“Marianne? Jay-Jay,” Marinette mutters to herself before raising her voice. “Jay-Jay!” Catching his attention he turns her voice. She sings softly as he approaches her. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away” He drops his guns, rips off his helmet, and envelopes her in a hug.

“Marianne, Princesita, she told me you were gone. She told me you were dead,” Jason said, letting tears fall.

“Jason I thought you were dead, you never came home that night,” Marinette said, crying into his shoulder.

“Jason I thought you were dead!” Batman says, approaching the siblings.

“How do you know him?” Marinette asks, stepping back from Batman.

“His adopted father.” 

“I was dead, Talia brought me back and told me you, Marianne was dead and it was Batman’s fault.”

“That wench did it again,” Robin sighed.

“What do ya mean?” Jason asks, breaking the hug to look at the people around him.

“I’m her son and she messed me up big time,” Robin explained.

“Sweetie! I heard what happened! Hey! Let me through!” a familiar voice came from down the hall. Not too long after the familiar face of Harley Quin entered the room. “Mari! Are you ok?” She rushed over checking for anything amiss.

“Seriously hasn’t enough happened today,” Red Robin sighs.

“Harley, where’ve been?” Batman sighs.

“I’ve been taking care of Sweetie.”

“Auntie has been very good she hasn’t done any crime!” 

“Joker bette’ not of hurt ya at all or I’ll rip off his balls,” Harley said, hugging Marinette. “Marinette is that your brother? You’re the one that Joker killed? That bastard!”

“Marinette?” Jason asked, turning to look at his little sister.

“I changed my name after moving, it hurt too much to keep my name,” Marinette explained. “But I think I could go back to Marianne now.”

“Let’s go, Sweetie, the police need to take your statement,” Harley said, grabbing Marianne’s hand.

After the statement is taken, Marianne turned to her class and says with a smile. “Lila you may be a lying sack of shit, but because of your attempts to hurt me, I found my brother. And I, Marianne Jiayang Todd couldn’t be happier. Thank you for making my life miserable so I could have a great full life with my brother and the people I care about.”

“Let’s go Princesita,” Jason said, kissing her head. Before they, Harley, and Jason, get into a cab and head to the manor to talk through everything.

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Tag List

@sturchling @mlbchaosqueen

[shewritestheblues]

the Elevator Bae - 13

Chapter Thirteen

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix) 

A/N: This series is almost to its end. I will be ending with Chapter 15. Thank You so much to everyone who has read and shared this story. I adore all of you soooooo much :)

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How did two months go by so fast? Tour was coming to an end and It was bittersweet for Phoenix. She was able to finally see just how many people enjoyed her music and travel alongside one of her greatest friends but she missed Luna. She missed Erik? That’s been the confusing part. She didn’t really miss him but seeing how he’s been with Luna has warmed her heart. He’s been sending her videos and pictures daily. His bright smile seems to light up her world when she FaceTimes him to see Luna.

The closer she’s been getting to the last performing date, the more her anxiety has been surfacing. Since Erik’s been back, it was dropping Luna off because she had rehearsals and meetings and then tour. (A week during tour, Erik flew in to Detroit for Phoenix to have Luna while she visited family and he was on his way back to LA.) Their only interactions have been for Luna and they were good with that. She was good with that. There wasn’t any time for anything else. But soon, the tour will be over and she’ll be taking some time from work. Will things change? Have they already started to change?

Phoenix knew she was sure that this is what she wanted. For them to only focus on their daughter. All of these thoughts were swimming through her pool of a mind. Currently sitting in her hotel room, reading the comments under Erik’s latest IG upload weren’t helping. He just posted a picture of him and Luna while they were out. He had taken her shopping with him and snapped a picture of them in the dressing room mirror. It was the cutest picture. Luna looked unbothered while looking at the phone through the mirror. This kid had so many moods to be new here. Phoenix’s mom joked that Luna’s been here before.

Phoenix found herself smiling at the caption.

‘Luna ain’t having it with you hoes today.’

Erik’s captions were always… very Erik. And the comments full of women that Phoenix assumed were from Erik’s past or women who dreamed of being a part of his future.

‘She’s beautiful Erik.’

‘I still can’t believe Erik Stevens is somebody’s daddy.’

‘Lol, she’s so cute. Does she need a brother?’

‘Damn E. You make beautiful babies.’

‘Call me, E. 😘’

Phoenix wasn’t jealous. He was single. This was her decision. But sometimes, she hoped he would post something about her. Well, you know, because she is Luna’s mother of course. Maybe a shoutout?

No, no. She caught herself. She didn’t actually need that. Everyone following Erik knew who Luna’s mother was. Phoenix was fine. She. Was. Fine. These feelings? These thoughts? They will pass. So, she exited the app. It was time for rest and rest is definitely what Phoenix needed.

—————

Everything was… okay! Phoenix had worked herself up and things between her and Erik were good. They had the perfect schedule since she’s been back home. Erik would have Luna every other weekend. He’d come over to spend time with her during his ‘off days.’ They’d joke like old times. Even Ava had warmed back up to Erik. Of course things could never be what they used to be but this was a good start to making their situation feel somewhat normal.

“So tell me Phoenix, how has your transition back home been?” Dr. McKee wasted no time. She was eager to hear how Phoenix had been managing on her own.

Phoenix didn’t go back to therapy right away when she came back home. She figured she would take some time to test the waters and see if she would handle things with the methods she’s learned.

Releasing a deep breath, “Everything is good.” Phoenix finally says. “I’m happy.”

A genuine smile grew onto Dr. McKee’s face. “That’s amazing Phoenix. I’m honestly so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of myself too.”

“So,” Dr. McKee paused, “What made you want to come in today?”

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m supposed to be using this time off to relax but I can’t. I feel like I should be doing something. Too much down time makes me think and when I think, I overthink. When I overthink, I get antsy. Then I feel anxious. Which only leads to a panic attack. I just don’t know what to do with this energy.” Phoenix stops herself to take a deep, calculated breath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Did I make the right choice— No! I know that I did but…” Phoenix trails off.

“But what?”

“Luna loves him so much. The way she lights up when she sees him. She deserves to be that happy every day. I want her to feel what I feel. I’m happy.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to convince someone of that.”

The way Phoenix rolled her neck, she felt offended. How dare her own therapist insult her like this? Phoenix was happy! She didn’t have to convince anyone. She rolled her eyes at the idea. The nerve of this highly educated woman.

“I’m not trying to upset you Phoenix. I’m just trying to understand.”

“So are you saying I don’t make any sense right now?” Phoenix snapped back.

Cool, calm and collected, Dr. McKee blinks, “I’m not saying that at all. You make perfect sense. I just want you to share as much as you can so we can get to the root of what brought you here today.”

Phoenix closed her eyes and chewed on her lip. She internally chastised herself for being snappy. “It’s just,” she slowly began, “the way he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. Even when he’s laughing, his eyes are saying something else. Like… he’s trying to slowly drown me. When he looks at me, his eyes linger like they’re trying to get me to catch on to something.”

Phoenix opens her eyes and focuses on the floor. “I’m not changing my mind. He’s always been a smooth operator but unfortunately for him, I know that. He doesn’t get to come around and make me feel guilty for choosing what’s right for my baby.” Phoenix paused. “Our baby.” She whispered that last part.

Dr. McKee takes some notes. She opens her mouth to speak but Phoenix beats her to it.

“I understand. I really do. Erik wants to give Luna the family experience. I want that for her too. But the family we’ve all created for her is fine.”

“I agree, Phoenix. So many of us get caught up in the idea of a traditional family. But family is whoever loves you unconditionally. From what I know, you, Erik, Coby, Ava and the entire tribe you guys have around you love Luna beyond this world. That’s more than enough. You’re a great mom. Great moms make tough decisions every day, but great moms also know each decision is for the greater good of their family.”

Phoenix smiles. It feels good to hear that someone sees you and your hard work and the sacrifices for what they are. Dr. McKee was right. They may not be the traditional family, but Luna is still surrounded by a loving tribe that is unique to her.

“But,” Dr. McKee continues, “you can’t attach yourself to Erik and what he may be feeling about this. You’ve made yourself clear what you wanted. You’re happy and Luna’s happy. There’s no need to ruffle anymore feathers here.”

Dr. McKee turns to her laptop and begins typing away on her keyboard. After a few clicks, she turns to Phoenix again.

“I’ve emailed you a list of things that could help you during your free time. I want you relax and enjoy this time off as best as you can before it’s time to get back to work. You deserve it.”

“I’m going to my best.”

—————

Phoenix wasn’t in a rush to leave the parking lot of Dr. McKee’s office after her session. She sat in her car going over the list in her email.

Ways to Relax Your Brain:

-Workout.

-Take an art class.

-Plant a Garden.

-Read some good books.

-Get out in Nature.

Phoenix wasn’t gifted with a green thumb, so gardening was out of the question. She works out pretty consistently, but it hasn’t worked out with calming her thoughts so that one is scratched off. Art class felt like work and books? She’s read every book that resides in Coby’s house. She was tired of reading. Looks like getting out in Nature would be worth a shot.

She’s always loved the beach but she couldn’t remember the last time she’s been to a beach.

—————

Phoenix found herself in a very familiar spot. A picnic table on the beach, watching the beach goers enjoy themselves. The waves look beautiful as they rolled in onto the sand. The sounds of splashing seemed more soothing than Phoenix ever realized. Time seemed to be passing so slow. Everything in the world has come to a calming pause. Her mind wasn’t racing. Her heart wasn’t pounding. Tranquility was all Phoenix could come up with to describe this feeling. She had no worries, no fears, no anxiety.

The sounds of an ice cream truck moving through the parking lot near her, caught her ear. The thought of eating something sweet without her infant bullying her into sharing seemed like a great win. She stood from her seat and seemingly floated to the truck.

“Hello, what can I get you?” the older man inside the truck said with a contagious smile.

“Um,” she tapped her chin with her index finger, “I’ll go with chocolate on a waffle cone.”

“Coming up.”

Moments later, Phoenix exchanges her money for the ice cream cone and travels back to her spot at the picnic table. She picked up where she left off admiring all that surrounds her. She ate her ice cream with a pleased smile pinching at her cheeks.

The small vibration of her phone pulled her from her trance. Erik is facetiming her. She assumed he was calling to see Luna so she swiped to answer the call.

“Hey, E. I’m not with Luna right now.”

“That’s cool. I called to talk to you.”

“Oh, um, okay. What’s up?” This made her suspicious.

“The Outreach Center will be opening this Friday. We’re doing a whole big thing and uh, I wanted to invite you if you aren’t busy. Shuri told me that if I didn’t call you right now, she would never talk to me again.”

Phoenix was mid bite into her cone and almost dropped it from laughter. “Well, you know I have nothing to do. Tell Shuri that me and Luna will be there.”

“Alright.” Erik paused, eyeing Phoenix’s background through the phone. “Aye! You’re at the beach?”

“Yeah. I just needed a moment. Needed to get out of the house, I guess.”

“Everything’s alright?” His words were soft, genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is good.”

Erik didn’t believe her. He could tell something was bothering her but he didn’t want to push her. That wasn’t his place. Well not anymore at least.

“Well you know, no matter what, you can always come to me.”

“Yeah, E. I know.”

“Alright, I have some shit to get done before Friday. I’ll let you get back to your me time. I’ll text the details later.”

“K…”

“Kiss my baby for me when you get back home please.”

“I will.”

The call ends and Phoenix is frozen. Erik calls her while she’s sitting in the very spot he’d taken her when he needed to clear his mind. This use to be their spot. Her peace was broken then. Erik was everywhere. Even when he wasn’t there. She looked around and threw in the towel. Her time here was up. She finished her ice cream cone on her walk back to her car. She was ready to get back home to get her daughter.

---------------

The week had flown by. Phoenix was just sitting on Dr. McKee’s couch. She was just at the beach. But now, it was opening day for the Outreach Center. Phoenix couldn’t understand why she was feeling so nervous. She had this gut feeling that something was off. Her and Erik were good. She loved T’Challa, Shuri and Queen Mother and they all adored her. She wrecked her brain trying to come up with an answer.

Phoenix called her mom. She would understand and maybe help her with her feelings.

“Something just doesn’t feel right, Ma.” Phoenix props the phone up on her dresser while she gets Luna dressed.

“That’s your intuition, baby. If you feel like something ain’t right, it’s because something ain’t right.”

“But I don't know what it is. It’s driving insane.”

“The only way to find out is to go and face whatever it is.”

Phoenix finishes dressing Luna. She places her in her bouncer in front of the phone so that Luna can see her grandmother on FaceTime.

“Hey baby girl.” Phoenix’s mom dotes on the bouncing baby. “You’re looking more and more like your grandma everyday.”

Phoenix cuts her eye at the phone. “She looks like her dad.”

Phoenix catches her mom rolling her eyes.

“You can’t hate him forever, Ma. He’s going to be around for a long time.”

“I don’t hate him. I just think he’s stupid. Maybe if he pays for a round trip for me to go to Wakanda, I’ll forgive him.”

“Mom!”

“Those are my terms Phoenix and I ain’t changing them. Ain’t that right Lulu? Tell your stupid ass daddy to send me to Wakanda.”

“Alright Luna,” Phoenix picks Luna up, “Your grandma is on all bullshit today.”

“Hey! What your mouth around my grandbaby.”

In disbelief, Phoenix looks at the camera, “But you just said a bad word.”

“Ass isn’t a bad word.”

“Okay, ma. Whatever you say. We have to go so I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

----------------

Phoenix was roaming the large, empty halls of the Outreach Center. She had been inside multiple times while dropping off Luna to Erik or picking her up. She had checked Erik’s office, looking for him but he was nowhere to be found. She was making her way back outside when she sees Shuri. 

“Shuri!” Phoenix stops her, “Have you seen Erik?”

“Philly! I’m so happy you’re here.” She pulls Phoenix into a tight hug. Phoenix embraces her back and their body’s rock. “I missed you. Hey Lulu.” Shuri adds pinching Luna’s chubby cheeks.

“I told you that you can over whenever.” Phoenix adjusts Luna on her hip. Luna was getting heavier every day.

Before Shuri could respond, she looks up and sees Erik walking straight toward them. “Oh there’s the little T-Rex.” She points in the direction of Erik.

When Phoenix turns around, Erik is walking with that famous dip. His dreads are back into a ponytail and he’s sporting a navy blue suit that’s tailored to perfection. He’s always had great style. The smile on Phoenix’s face slowly began to drop when she noticed the tall, curvy, well dressed woman walking alongside Erik. That uneasy feeling she felt when she was home crept up from her stomach and settled in her chest. She tried to control her breathing before it picked up. She wouldn’t allow herself to get worked up before knowing what was going on.

“There you are. Philly was looking for you.” Shuri says. She turns to Phoenix, “Come find me later. We have so much to catch up on.” Shuri walks off.

Phoenix isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. She awkwardly stands there looking around to avoid looking at the woman standing next to Erik.

“Hey, Phoenix,” Erik grabs her attention and motions to the mystery woman. “This is Alicia. Alicia, this is Phoenix.”

Alicia sticks her hand out and shakes Phoenix’s hand. “Oh my goodness, you’re Phoenix? I’ve heard so much about you. Hey Lulu.” Alicia rubs her thumb on Luna’s arm.

Lulu? The only people who calls her Lulu are people who are close to her. It’s obvious that this woman has been around Luna a great deal.

“Oh…Hm. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her eyes bounce between Alicia and Erik a few times before they lock in with Erik’s. She can’t read him. These are not the same eyes he usually looks at her with. He licks his lips. This woman isn’t just a random woman that Erik decided to introduce to her. Something was up between the two of them.

Luna throws her body backwards trying to get to her dad. Erik scoops her up with one quick motion, taking her from Phoenix. He peppers kisses all over her cheeks before checking his watch. “We’re gonna miss the opening ceremony. We should get outside.”

“You guys go ahead.” Alicia says, “I have to use the lady’s room. I’ll catch up.”

“Okay. You know where to find me.” Erik says with a smirk. Alicia places a hand on his arm and walks off toward the restroom.

Erik and Phoenix began the journey outside to watch T’Challa give the opening ceremony speech. As they approached the big door that led out, Phoenix looked to Erik. “She seems nice.”

“She is.” Erik tries to bite back his smile.

“Good. You need someone nice.”

Erik stops walking. He was stunned by her words. How did she manage to put those pieces together? His words got caught and he struggled with a response. Phoenix picked up on his struggles.

“She called Luna, Lulu. That told me everything, Erik.”

He caught on. “I wanted to tell you before now, but I didn’t really know how.”

“It’s fine. As long as she makes you happy, there’s nothing to talk about. Things may not have worked out with us but I can see that you’re a better man. Someone should get to experience that.”

Phoenix doesn’t stick around to hear how he may react. She walks ahead leaving him and Luna and goes outside. Erik stood there processing her words. Alicia catches up to him. She could see that something had shaken him up.

“Erik, is everything okay?” her eyes searched him for any kind of answer. “Did something happen with Phoenix?”

He finally looks at her, “No, nothing happened. She just, uh, she thinks you’re nice.” A single dimple appearing.

A small smile forms on Alicia’s face. “So does this mean that I’m Phoenix approved?”

They laugh. He steps closer to her and plants a kiss on her lips. Alicia’s face goes red. “Not in front of Luna.” she plays.

Erik opens the door for them and they walk out just in time as T’Challa takes the stage.

As the day progressed, Erik was talking to so many people. He found himself explaining different parts of the Outreach Center over and over but he didn’t complain. Alicia stayed by his side, mingling while Luna bounced around between the two of them and Queen Mother. It wasn’t until T’Challa pulled Erik aside to ask where Phoenix was that Erik realized that he hadn’t seen her since their exchange. His eyes searched through the crowd hoping to see her somewhere. To his disappointment, she was nowhere to be found.

He texted her.

Erik: Hey, Philly. Where did you go?

Time passed and he never received a text back.

Phoenix’s thumbs hovered over her keyboard but she just couldn’t find it in her to say anything back. When Erik didn’t come outside for the ceremony right after her, she snuck out and left. Luna was in good hands and she just couldn’t stick around. She meant what she said. She really did see Erk for the better man that he had become. He was an amazing person and even more amazing father. It wouldn’t be fair for her to want him to not move on. Again, she reminded herself that this was best.

“Philly. Come get your glass.” Mica yelled from the kitchen.

When Phoenix got back home, she told Ava what had happened and Ava called Mica and Camren over for girl talk and wine. They were all between their third and fourth cups. Hours had gone by and Phoenix still couldn’t text Erik back. She just says “fuck it,” and tossed her phone on the couch and heads into the kitchen for her refill.

When Phoenix gets a hold of her assigned wine glass, she downs it in seconds. Her friends watch on in shock.

“Damn Philly, calm down.” Camren says.

“I’m grown, Camren. You don’t have to tell me how to drink some weak ass wine.”

Mica clutches her pearls. This isn’t like Phoenix at all.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ava asks. “Is this about Erik?”

Phoenix throws daggers at Ava with her heavy eyes. “Everything ain’t about Erik. I’m good.”

“You’re not acting good.” Mica adds.

Phoenix begins filling her glass up again. “Well since yall just know me so well, how am I acting if I’m not acting like I’m good?”

Ava snatches Phoenix’s glass. “You’re acting like you’re trying to drink your problems away.”

“I don’t have any problems to drink away. If I did, I’d be killing off something way stronger than wine.” she reaches for her glass but Ava pulls away.

“It’s obvious that this Erik shit is bothering you, sis.” Ava says.

Camren and Mica both nod in agreement.

Phoenix slams her hands down on the island counter. “Yo, fuck Erik. I don’t give a shit about what that man is doing. He’s moved on. He’s happy. I’m happy. Why are y’all holding on to this shit?”

“You’re holding on to it.” Ava yells. She’s fed up with Phoenix’s rudeness.

The gloss appearing over Phoenix’s eyes alerted her friends that she was struggling to hold back her tears. Ava reaches for her but Phoenix pulls away. She looks off at nothing when a few tears escape and flow down her cheeks. Her lips shake and she wraps her arms around herself.

“I don’t get why you’re torturing yourself. You clearly still love him.” Mica says.

“Yes!,” she aggressively wipes tears from her cheeks, “I still fucking love him, but this love ain’t mean shit. He doesn’t get to do this. He can’t just pop back up after all of this and have his life back like nothing happened.

“So,” Camren hesitates for a moment. “You’re punishing him?”

“I’m protecting myself.”

Ava steps closer to Phoenix in a nurturing way. “No, you are punishing him and yourself. Look at you. I hate what his stupid ass did just as much as you. But she’s right. We’re right. You're torturing yourself while trying to prove a point.”

“No I’m not!”

“You keep saying that he can’t do this.” Mica joins in again. “That he can’t just come back. But you can’t just pretend like you don’t care. It’s not fair to either of you.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She’s listening but she wishes that she wasn’t. They were right and she wishes they weren’t.

Camren breaks the silence. “We’re not trying to hurt your feelings Philly or piss you off in any way, but you can’t be hurt that he’s moving on when you’re the one that told him to.”

Mica interrupts, “So, either you can move on too or tell him how you really feel.”

The group of women notices Phoenix’s lack of responses. She’s in shut down mode. They didn’t want that but they couldn’t sit back and not tell their friend the truth about herself. Phoenix finally gets her hands on her abandoned glass of wine on the counter and downs it before silently walking away from her friends. She goes upstairs to her room. They give each other knowing looks. They would give her some time and they’ll go up to console her. Moments pass and they all suddenly hear the front door slam, scaring them. When the women rush to the door, they barely catch Phoenix just as she is nearing the end of the driveway.

Ava runs out toward the reversing car but Phoenix quickly shifts the car into drive and drives off.

“Fuck!” Ava yells. “We have to get Coby.”

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

For the soulmate au how about 16 (you feel your soulmates pain) with Josuke?? But, like and it’s totally cool if you don’t wanna write this due to the content or whatever, but Josukes soulmate self harms and like he knows cause you know he can feel their pain and he wants to help them but when they finally meet his soulmate tries to reject him cause they don’t want to burden anyone with their problems/don’t feel worthy but, obviously, he isn’t just going to accept that. Thanks!

Was changed to bullied reader.

Shine on

(Yandere Josuke Higashikata 4 X female reader)

Your father sighed as he returned home.

"How was your day honey?" Your mother asked as she grabbed his briefcase and gave him a kiss.

"Oh it's was great" he replied, you knew he was lying through his teeth but it was a secret between the both of you. You let out a sigh of your own while you sat on the couch with an ice pack to your jaw.

"(Y/n) what happened?" Your father asked.

"I wasn't paying attention and banged into the wall" you also lied and he knew it.

"You've gotta be more careful, ok?" You father said.

"This is the third time this week you've gotten into some kind of accident" your mother said before returning to the dinner she was preparing in the kitchen.

You father slumped down next to you and loosened his tie before turning the volume up on the tv before turning to you.

"So what really happened?" He asked.

"I got punched in the face... I can assume that your day wasn't the best either?" You replied.

"Yeah... I just keep get pushed around at work" he sighed.

"I wish we could just leave this town" you sighed.

"Me too but I gave almost all the money I had for this place... And there's no way I'm going to find anothet suitable house like this anywhere else for the same price" he explained.

"Besides your mother loves it here" he continued.

✨✨✨

"Josuke what did I say about getting into fights?!" Tomoko scolded.

"But mom I didn't get into any fights" Josuke replied as he placed an ice pack on his bruised jaw.

"Then why do you have that bruise?" She asked.

"I just got it randomly, I just felt something hit my face and I got it ok" he argued causing her to let out a sigh.

"Fine" was the only word that left her lips as she rolled her eyes.

✨✨✨

You opened up you locker and let out a scream as a bunch of cicadas rushed out causing you to fall. You really hated bugs and your bullies knew it. You rubbed your head as you pushed yourself up into a kneeling position with the your other hand.

"Hey, are you ok?" A male asked as they pulled you up from under your arms and helping you too your feet.

"Yeah, just got a bit scared that's all" you replied in a shy tone as you turned around to see the delinquent with a Princely charm that all the girls were crazy about, Josuke Higashikata.

"I don't blame you, bugs are just gross and they always appear out of nowhere" he said as he pulled a disgusted face and shook a little.

"I haven't really seen you around Marioh, what's your name? He asked.

"Mine's (Y/n)... My family moved here a couple of weeks ago" you replied.

"We I'm sure your going to love it here" he said, not even bothering  to tell you his name; you probably already knew who he was.

You thought for a 'delinquent' he was rather outgoing. His bubbly personality almost made you forget how much you hated school until you noticed all the girls giving you icy glares.

"Well thanks for helping me up but I should really head off to my class" you said as you quick grabbed you stuff and shook of any remaining bugs before locking it.

Josuke noticed the way your attitude changed as he saw how the other girls looked at you and sighed, maybe he was just overthinking things.

"Alright, I hope that I can at least see you again soon" he responded as you ran off.

✨✨✨

The whole day had been a huge bore for you, your previous school use to be so much fun and you use to have so many friends but here you were just a nobody that no one really wanted to associate with, or at least in a nice way.

You had just finished cleaning up the classroom and was taking the trash to the furnace when three girls appeared from around the corner which caused you to drop the bad of rubbish as you heart skipped a beat in shock. You quickly grabbed the bag again and tried to walk past them but they stopped you.

"So your not even gonna say anything!" Hissed the girl with long black hair and dark brown eyes that had a distinctive mole under her eye, she reminded you of a woman from a horror manga your read not so long ago.

"I... Don't really have anything to say... I'm just taking out the trash" you mumbled in response.

"So you think you so above us! The nerves you've got to talk to Josuke!" The curly brunette spat.

"Wait... You guys are getting mad over that... He just helped me up, that's all" you stuttered as you stepped back.

"Oh he JUST helped you up, huh? THAT'S ALL?" The blonde growled.

"Do you not understand how lucky you are?!"

"You don't deserve his attention!"

"God, why would he have even wasted his time talking to a loser like you!" Their hate filled words trying to cut into you but you didn't show it.

Eventually the words turned to push and shove but you didn't fight back, it would only make things worse. One of the girls scratching your forehead with her fake nails, one coming off in the process.

"You, you ruined my nails!" She shrieked before delivering a low blow to your abdomen.

You fell to the floor, your head resting on the rubbish bag as you  curled up into a ball and tried to catch your breath. You looked in the corner of your eye to see a figure in the distance hunched over.

"Josuke?! Are you ok!" One of the girls screamed as she rushed over to him. You rolled over to get a better look to see Josuke better.

"What happened to you?" One of the other girls asked as they rushed over to him. One of the girls offered a hand to help him up but he simply slapped it away.

"I didn't think girls... could he vicious towards each other" he breathed as he got to his feet.

"But Josuke-"

"Get outta here, you think I'd care about a girl who hurts people!" He nearly yelled as he still held onto his stomach. The girls all looked in shock before they left without a word.

You finally managed to catch your breath before you tried to get to your feet only to fall down again.

"Hey (Y/n)! Are you ok?!" He asked as he ran over to you.

"Yeah... Just got a little winded... That's all" you huffed as you tried to get up again only to fall into his arms.

"You seem more then just winded" he commented.

"I didn't get the best sleep last night..." You commented before looking up at his face and noticed the counselor that had slowly been rubbed off his face during the day, revealing a bruise much like you own.

"That bruise... How did you get it" you asked.

"I should be asking you the same" he replied.

"Huh, what are you talking about?" You exclaimed as you tried to push away from him due to the awkwardness of the situation but he only pulled you closer.

"You have the exact same one hidden under sime counselor too, don't you?" He asked.

"And when those girls started attacking you I could feel it" he explained.

"Really, that's weird" you replied as you managed to squirm out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry but I gotta throw the trash away and get home before my parents get worried" you explained as you grabbed the rubbish bag and speed around the corner as your face turned completely red and your heart was going crazy.

'is this love?!' you thought to yourself.

'no no, what are you thinking, you can't just know someone for a day a think your in love!' another part of you mentally scream.

'besides what makes me so special?'

✨✨✨

Weeks had past since then and the bullying hadn't been as often as it usually was. Josuke would always try to talk with you when he could but you always wondered why he would bother to talk to you, you weren't much.

As you walked back home school but as the sky darkened you couldn't help but feel like you were being followed. You kept looking from side to side but you could see anyone. You turned a corner only to be grabbed by the shirt by a total stranger.

"So your the shrimp that made my little sister cry!" The male hissed.

"I don't know what you're talking about?!" You exclaimed.

"You know damn well, my sister comes home everyday in tears or is fuming about how you keep interfering with her life!" He growled.

"I don't know who your talking about or how I'm interfering with their life" you explained. The male's face only contoured into anger as he readied his fist to punch you.

You closed you eyes and waited for the blow but it never came.

You opened your eyes only to see another person behind you had caught it with one hand before they used their free arm to deliver a low blow to the male that made him fall to the ground and scramble away.

"(Y/n) you gotta be careful when it gets dark" the familiar voice lightly scolded. You turned around to see Josuke who flashed you a nervous smile.

"J... Josuke, thank you" you nervously thanked him.

"It's no problem... I can't have you getting hurt" he stuttered, hoping you wouldn't suspect that he had been stalking you.

"What brings you to this side of town at this hour, I thought you lived over the side?" You asked which made him mentally go into panic, he needed to make an excuse and quickly.

"Oh... I was just gonna check on my friend... Koichi, yeah he's been really sick lately..." He replied.

"Oh well I hope he gets better" you said as you were about to walk off only to have Josuke grab you hand.

"(Y/n), can I tell you something?" He nervously asked. He realised that it was his chance to ask you out.

"Ok, sure" you replied.

"I know we've only known each other for only a couple of weeks... but whenever I'm around you... I get butterflies in my stomach and my heart goes crazy... I really like you and I just wanted to ask you if you'd consider being my girlfriend?" He asked as a big goofy smile appeared on his face, desperately hoping you'd say yes.

You looked at him in shock, you couldn't deny that he was attractive, you had the same feelings but you want to ask him why he'd choose you...You couldn't understand why he'd ask you out. There were so many other girls who were smarter and prettier then you. He was out of your league.

"I'm... I'm sorry but I'm not interested in dating anyone as of yet" you replied, hoping he'd take the rejection lightly.

"Oh..." He only just managed to croak out as that smile disappeared from his face.

"I hope you can understand where I'm coming from, right?"

"Yeah, of course... You're not interested in dating in general, I can understand that" he replied.

"Good"

"Well I gotta head home now... See ya again I guess" you said before running off, partially because the awkwardness of being around a guy you just rejected and partially because you didn't want to worry your parents.

Josuke just stood there and watched you as you faded into the distance yet again like you usually did. He knew damn well you were lying through your teeth about the whole disinterest in dating, maybe you were scared about his wondering crowd of fangirls; some of them got really competitive about being around him.

He knew it was going to be a tough pursuit to win your heart but for you he was willing to do whatever it took.

✨✨✨

You opened up your locked expecting another parade of insects to tumble out but instead you found a little pink box that sat on-top of your stack of school books. You were hesitant to grab the box but also curious as to what could be in it.

You eventually grabbed it and gave it a light shake before opening it up just a smidge to make sure it wasn't a prank. Satisfied that it wasn't you opened it completely to see a beautiful silver chain and a heart shaped pendent with a large diamond in it along with a little folded piece of paper. You unfolded the paper to see a simple yet endearing message.

SHINE ON!

You knew it had to be from Josuke. You felt so bad knowing that he'd probably had to pay a lot of money to get that for you. You just wanted to find him and give it back to him, you weren't worth getting a necklace but until you saw him next you might as well wear it to remind you, so you put it on before grabbing you books and closing your locker.

Like every other day it just seemed to drag on at a snails pace and it was just draining to endure. During lunch you just sat in the classroom by yourself and ate while reading Tomie. It was tranquil but is was disturbed by the girl from the over day that was real life look alike of the hauntingly beautiful manga character.

"Heard you were with Josuke last night, so what's up with that?" She hissed.

"He just helped me, this guy grabbed me and was about to punch me when he showed up..." You explained.

"You're just an attention whore aren't you? Making out like your a poor girl whose done no wrong" she hissed.

"But what have I done wrong?" You asked.

"I'll tell you, you slut!" She screeched as she raised her hand above her head but before she could slap you Josuke grabbed her by the wrist.

"What did I say a couple of weeks ago?" He hissed at her.

"Josuke... Why are you all over this punny girl, you know you've got so many other girls that could give you so much more" she slyly replied as she tried to caress his cheek but some invisible force grabbed onto it. She desperately tried to move her hand but to no advil.

"What's happening?!" She cried out as she continued to struggle until you saw a hole go straight through her chest and her blood spill everywhere and within the blink of an eye it was all gone, almost as if it never happened.

She fell back and looked at the male in horror and confusion. You would have thought you were hallucinating but it was obvious that it happened by the way she held her chest, like the feeling echoed through her body.

The gravity of the room was almost suffocating as you saw Josuke the angriest you'd ever seen him.

"Josuke-" she muttered out only to be met by his wrath.

"You're pathetic! I don't want you or any other girl, I want (Y/n)! Now if you even think about laying a finger on her again I'll bring a world of pain on you!" He yelled, causing her to stumble once more before she could get on her feet. You stood up and tried to leave but some invisible force held you in place.

"Now get lost! And make sure to let everyone know that anyone that messes with my girlfriend is dead!" He added causing the girl to practically crawl out of the classroom in fear.

Josuke turned to you and his anger instantly faded.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, I'm just so sick of how everyone treats" he explained to you as he got closer. You wanted to speak but you just couldn't find the words. When he looked down to your neck and saw the necklace his eye lit up in joy.

"I knew you'd love it" he nearly beamed as he pulled you into a hug and spun you around before putting you down again.

"Josuke... It's a nice gift but I don't think I deserve it, you must have paid so much to get it... I'm not worth it" you explained as you took it off.

"Don't be so ridiculous-"

"And I told you this before, I'm not interested in dating" you explained.

"Oh come on (Y/n), if you're afraid of those other girls then don't be... They will never hurt you again, I promise" he said as he pulled you in by the waist.

"But Josuke-"

"Just give me a chance (Y/n), I'll be the best boyfriend you could ever ask for" he pleaded.

[saiki-in-jsl]

No Powers Saiki AU (3k)

Where he also has anxiety and selective mutism. (But also, nobody has powers. And that volcano issue never happens because I SAID SO.)

Uhm uhhhh, in no way am I a doctor, so this may not be very accurate. Sorry!!

TW: Panic attack, I don’t think this one needs a skip so I’ll just leave it as that (but if you need one, tell me :eyes:)

Also on my ao3!

Also well shit, I do like myself some good Kusuo and Akechi friendship :,)

Also also, ugggghhhhhh, the italics stuff don’t go through when I copy and paste from my docs rip. This is why I prefer ao3 more (and because their tagging system is HEAVENLY) so if you wanna read with all them proper italics I suggest switching to my ao3

ALSO ALSO ALSO, RIGHT WHEN I FINISHED THIS, I DISCOVERED ASL AND JSL ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SO D A R N H E C K I’M SORRY. I did a big oopsie,,,let’s,,,pretend that asl,,,is,,default,,?

Saiki Kusuo was not your typical boy.

Since he was young, it had been painfully obvious that he was a gifted child, surpassing his brother by intelligence and strength. This had drawn many curious scientists to him, and after several tests that went on for hours and hours, he finally broke. He stopped talking and he stopped wanting to be around people.

His mother, equally as tired of the scientists as her son was, decided to hide his identity away from the public, constantly moving from location to location to avoid the people who knew of her son’s abilities.

This barely helped with Kusuo’s social development as a child, so the more he moved, the more he decided that he would much rather live in an isolated world than a world filled with people with prying eyes and loud mouths.

He did make a friend once though, but it barely lasted due to unforeseen circumstances that involved a few beat up bullies, and it had surprisingly hurt when he had to move away again. Akechi was his first real friend, and realizing that he won’t be seeing him again felt weird.

As much as he loved being alone, a friend would’ve been nice.

So the night before they moved away, he had pushed open his parents’ door, gripping his pajama top tightly, and whispered really really softly to his mother, “Mama. Will I ever make a friend?”

It was the first time he had spoken in a very long time, in fact, his mother couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken to her without pointing and hand gestures. So predictably, she cried and hugged him tight, mumbling how sorry she was for ruining his chance at making a friend, too caught up with trying to avoid those nosey scientists.

Middle school went by like a blur, aside from the occasional school switch that still happened, yet not as often as elementary. He didn’t remember a single thing that happened during those school days, maybe a few anxiety attacks in the bathroom and a sad attempt at trying to socialize, but that was it. Maybe it really was easier to be alone, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about losing his breathing from the sheer amount of stress he got from the assembly hall.

Highschool came and Kusuo had a new plan: Accept that having friends are not necessary and speaking with your mouth is dumb. 

He quickly learnt how to use ASL, much preferring that language over vocally speaking, and made sure his grades were as average as possible. He had excelled through middle school and elementary school like it was nothing, but it had led him to be placed on stage many times because of this. So no more of that, because that was a recipe for disaster to him.

Kusuo made sure everything was in perfect place before heading to school. He made sure the school knew about his condition, and he also made sure to let them know he didn’t want to be publicly known as the school’s “mute kid”, so he’d definitely blend in without an issue.

Kusuo couldn’t believe what was happening. He hadn’t even fully registered his first year of highschool properly and his second year was already here. 

To start off, he had friends, something he did not expect to have. He could predict many things, the weather, what people were thinking, and if he tried hard enough, he could even predict who would walk by his classroom in the next second. But he did not see this one coming.

He didn’t even know how. Nendou was a dunce who went from copying his homework to hanging around and inviting him out for ramen and Kaidou was a chuunibyou who thought Kusuo’s hand gestures was some sort of secret language and ended up perceiving Kusuo as some ally to Jet Black Wings.

Yumehara, for no reason other than the fact that Kusuo looked cute, decided she was meant to be with him. A lot of effort was taken to avoid her, but just as she lost interest in him, the class- no, the world’s idol decided she’d have a crush on him too. Then there was the class representative, Hairo, who constantly screamed and moved and how does he not get tired? 

Then there was Kuboyasu, Toritsuka, Aiura, and so many people it made his head spin.

But they all had one thing in common when they communicated with him, and that was the fact that they all thought he was deaf. Granted, people who use ASL were commonly deaf, so he wasn’t blaming them for assuming so, and it did help him a little since this made them talk less around him and gave him a good excuse for ignoring them half the time.

Two years he spent in this highschool, and not once had he fired rapid ASL before. He never got the chance to, and he didn’t have much care for doing so. Mostly because most of the people around him didn’t even understand sign language.

But sometimes, listening to Toritsuka talk on and on about some cute girl could really put you on edge. Especially when he kept egging Kusuo on about the type of girls he liked.

The thing was, Kusuo didn’t like romance. He liked observing it and the idea of it, but he would never want to be a part of it. Frankly enough, he didn’t find any joy in it, he much preferred a life of solitude.

“C’mon, I know you can understand me, Saiki,” Toritsuka poked, grinning widely. “What kind of girls are you into? Or perhaps are into boys? Seriously, tell me, maybe we can go on a double date sometime. What about Teruhashi--“

Kusuo scowled, taking a step back and suddenly flying into fast ASL that roughly translated to several insults and long explanations as to why Kusuo wasn’t going to tell him. Toritsuka only blinked in surprise, because he swore he just saw the middle finger between those fast hand gestures, and he took a step back, raising his hands in defeat.

“Relax! Alright!” Toritsuka said, dropping the subject for good. “Next time fling me a note or something, that is seriously intimidating!”

Kusuo winced, feeling the third piece of paper Kaidou had just flung at him hit his head. This had been going on for the whole period, and Kusuo wondered why the teacher hadn’t noticed it yet. Most of the notes Kaidou sent weren’t serious anyways, and clearly not worth writing back to him.

He barely understood the references the boy was making anyways. 

“How about we hang out after school? Do you like cake?” The last note read.

Kusuo smiled softly. “Yes, I do like cake.” He wrote, and with ease, he strategically threw it back so it would land perfectly on Kaidou’s table.

Being around Teruhashi was not ideal at all, because wherever she went, many people would follow. Kusuo hated crowds more than anything, it made his throat close up and his face a little sweaty, though his facial expression would never express his discomfort.

It would always remain blank and devoid of emotions.

Which always peaked Teruhashi’s interest. She found it a challenge to make the “deaf” kid who barely spoke gasp at her beauty, it would be a mighty achievement, yet no matter how hard she tried, it just never worked, which only pushed her to try harder. It resulted in her falling in love with him, unfortunately.

“Saiki does have a cute face though,” Teruhashi mumbled under her breath right as she walked along with Kusuo. She assumed he couldn’t hear her, so she regularly said things like those quietly to herself whenever he wasn’t looking her way. He appreciated the compliment at times, but sometimes, they do get a little creepy.

Nendou probably didn’t understand the idea of deaf people, or perhaps he thought his idea was pretty smart. Either ways, Kusuo sometimes couldn’t understand why he had to shout at him to communicate.

Did Nendou think deaf people just had very very poor hearing? Probably. But it often got annoying when they were in public places, and Kusuo couldn’t even tell him to quiet down because he couldn’t tell when exactly he was actually shouting.

Both his shouting and talking volume were around the same range.

But, it was rather nice of him to go out of his way to learn a bit of sign language just so he wouldn’t have to shout at Kusuo anymore. It was actually pretty nice having an ASL buddy.

Note to self, do not use ASL around Kuboyasu too much. He will and can mistake them as gang signs and get either sappy or angry. Kusuo said in his head as he watched Kuboyasu stare off into the distance with his fists clenched, reminiscing about his gang days.

Several times Kusuo had mistaken Hairo’s sad attempt at ASL as actual words and once spent half an hour straight wondering why the boy had signed refrigerator geese to him during that dodgeball game.

Saiko had once walked up to him and declared that whatever “nonsense” Kusuo was going to sign, he’d know right away what they would mean. At first, Kusuo found it hard to believe that the rich boy had taken time to learn ASL within his one day of being in this school, but as it turned out, all Saiko did was hire a translator to follow him around to translate Kusuo’s words.

That was possibly the most amount of effort he’d ever seen from Saiko, and it was good enough.

Kusuo wondered if learning ASL had magically made him more attractive. Aiura would not leave him alone, with her blonde hair, tanned skin, overly accessorized things, and bubbly personality. She wasn’t like Teruhashi, who attracted more men than Kusuo could count on his fingers, so she wasn’t as annoying to be around with.

But then again, she was more forward than Teruhashi too, so it didn’t make her more appealing either.

Seeing Akechi again resurfaced too many feelings. He hadn’t really realized how much he missed his first friend, but then again, the same boy was probably very aware of Kusuo’s high intelligence and may accidentally reveal his secret with that blabbering mouth of his.

Though, Kusuo had to admit, Akechi hadn’t changed one bit since the last time he saw him. Besides the haircut of course, and some other details, like how good he was at deducting now.

Being around Akechi was always strangely comforting back then, there was just something about listening to him talk that made Kusuo feel comfortable. You could say his talking was like white noise to Kusuo.

“Why does everyone assume you’re deaf? You’re not deaf, you just don’t like talking a lot, right? Why don’t you tell them that? Is it because you find it easier to pretend to be deaf? I can understand that, you were always really quiet, which was nice because you were a great listener too. I never found out why you up and left our elementary school without saying goodbye, but you were crazy sma--” Okay, that was when Kusuo made him stop talking, and Akechi took this as a hint to keep it a secret. There was a pause before Kusuo finally signed something to him.

Sorry. 

“Nothing to apologize! I don’t think it was your fault anyways, but your plan worked like a charm honestly,” Akechi smiled. “I hope you missed me, because I know I missed you. We have a lot of catching up to do, I’ll start! So basically…”

Kusuo did. He really did miss him.

A play. Their class was doing a play.

After all that effort of trying to stay off the stage, he still couldn’t avoid it.

He’d feel bad if he didn’t show up to contribute, so he definitely couldn’t just ditch them. The most he could do was play a background role, but even then he’d still be painfully aware that he would be in front of the whole school, and he just couldn’t handle that.

But seeing everyone giving their all to make this play work, Kusuo couldn’t help but join along, regardless of his own condition.

Practice for the play went smoothly, and he found himself being able to cope with it. All he did was sway around like seaweed, since that was his role, and then walk off when his scene ends. Easy, nothing too complicated, he would be fine.

Until Saiko got his sensitive feelings hurt and decided to pull their budget on literally everything, including the costumes. Now, Kusuo couldn’t care less about that issue if it weren’t for the fact that; if the other cast didn’t have their costumes, they wouldn’t stand out as much, and there’d be a higher chance of the audience staring at him.

Yet there wasn’t much time to do last minute preparations for props and clothing, so everyone was encouraged to try their best in making their own costumes before the deadline. Kusuo predicted that no one would actually follow through, and for once, he wished he was wrong.

Apparently he didn’t wish hard enough, because that was exactly what had happened during the play. Everyone mostly came in their gym clothes, some with small props to make it look like they’ve tried, and some who just didn’t do anything at all.

When Kusuo’s scene finally came up, he and the rest of the people who played as seaweed scrambled onto stage, making waving motions with their arms to simulate seaweed underwater. Things went well for the most part, Kusuo did as practiced and waved around just like his other seaweed playing classmates, but the longer he stayed, the more aware he became.

Eyes, everywhere, in front of him, staring too hard, too long. Their mouths are moving, but he can’t hear what they’re saying, it was like they were on the other end of a glass wall. Were they talking about him among themselves? 

Had it always been this warm on stage? Was it normal for his hands to shake? Was he breathing? He didn’t remember exhaling, nor inhaling. His throat went dry, his whole body rigid from...fear?

Someone was pushing him, someone else was pulling him, but he can’t properly grasp what was happening. 

The world went a bit blurry before he completely went dark.

Kusuo woke up in the nurse’s office, body aching and throat dry. He wondered how long it took for him to wake up, but depending on the sun outside, it may have been an hour or so. He sat up slowly, groaning slightly from the pain, before suddenly being attacked by a hug from a familiar person.

“Pal! You’re okay,” Nendou cheered, finally pulling away from the hug to double check on his friend. He lifted his hands, proceeding to sign to him, You just suddenly fell over after they pulled you off stage.

My bad, Kusuo signed back tiredly. Sorry.

“What’d he say?” Kaidou nudged Nendou. Did he really have to ask? It was quite obvious.

“He says he’s fine.” Nendou answered, completely leaving out Kusuo’s apology, which he found strangely comforting yet offensive.

“He literally had a panic attack on stage, what do you mean he’s fine?” Kaidou argued, then he looked over at Kusuo with a deeper frown. “Why didn’t you tell us you were having an attack?”

“He wasn't being attacked,” Nendou said blankly.

“A panic attack, it’s different,” Kaidou huffed. “Saiki, not to be intrusive, but do you have anxiety?”

Did...he? He honestly never thought about it properly. Sure, he did have anxiety attacks every now and then when he was a kid, but this was the first one he had after a long time, so he never really considered he might’ve had anxiety.

Actually, it was starting to all make sense to him now that he thought about it.

“I’m going to take that as a yes but you didn’t know,” Kaidou said slowly, concern laced in his tone. It made sense that Kaidou would know, it did seem like he used to have the same issue.

“Oh for sure, can’t you tell from the way his eyes had widened just now by half a centimetre?” Akechi piped up from behind. 

Good freaking grief.

He knew his mother didn’t trust doctors, but Kusuo really needed to see one after literally fainting in school. Not only that, it wasn’t his first time having an attack either, this was just the first time it had gotten this bad.

Sitting in a psychiatrist's waiting room felt odd, because it seemed a lot more homey than a regular doctor’s waiting room, with paintings hung on the walls and carpeted floor. He wasn’t particularly nervous, but he knew his mother was, because the hand she was using to hold onto him was shaking.

It’ll be okay, he reassured, squeezing his mother’s hand tight.

And it was okay. The lady was really nice to him, gentle and understanding, she barely pried and most of the questions she asked were pretty normal. She was a little surprised to learn that Kusuo could speak, but not in a way that was obvious, only Kusuo could tell that she was.

Communication with her was sorta slow. He had to type onto his notes app on his phone for her to read to answer her questions instead of hand signing, which he didn’t really mind all that much.

His mother, who had been waiting outside for them to be done, immediately got up when Kusuo was finished and asked several questions, one being: Did he need to take medication now?

Fortunately enough, it seemed like his case wasn’t too severe yet, mostly because he could still handle being around people without an issue, so he didn’t need to take any meds for now. Although his selective mutism was pretty serious, it wasn’t too bad either in his case, due to the fact that Kusuo spoke through sign language rather than verbally, so he wasn’t completely mute per se.

He came back next week, and the next, and many more weeks after that. He really liked this therapy thing.

“So your friends think you’re deaf, so you’re using that as an excuse to ignore them sometimes?”

Oh, when she put it like that, it just made him sound like an asshole. But yeah, he pretty much was doing that.

“Is there a particular reason why?”

Kusuo drummed his fingers on his lap. There were many reasons why, but those reasons had long lost their meaning. At first, it was because he didn’t want any friends, but now that he did have friends, there wasn’t any reason for him to keep following them through. No matter how many times he told himself he didn’t like them, they were still his friends.

“And why do you not want any friends?”

“Making friends was hard, keeping friends was hard, and losing them was even harder.” Kusuo typed out. “I guess I stopped trying. But then they started coming to me, and it was weird because I had already accepted it.”

“So you got scared?”

She could say that.

She uncrossed her legs, only to cross them back moments later, and adjusted her glasses, leaning forward, “It’s okay to feel scared about losing your friends, but if you’re going to push everyone who wants to be with you away, then how are you going to know if they’ll truly leave you? There’s nothing wrong with wanting space, but people do need other people to survive.”

One of the many things he did like about his friends was the fact that they all knew he enjoyed sweets. It was pretty obvious that he did, with the way his face would smile softly and soften at the taste of coffee jelly.

Surprisingly, they never notice that he’d much rather be left alone. Either that, or they don’t care.

It was a small outing event, they were mainly just eating and talking, but also trying their best to include Kusuo as much as possible, even though he didn’t mind being left alone with his coffee jelly and cakes.

“Man, I feel bad not including Saiki in conversations sometimes,” Kaidou mumbled, assuming Kusuo didn’t know what he had just said because he wasn’t reading Kaidou’s lips. “Since it’s hard to talk to him sometimes.”

“I’m sure we’re trying our best,” Teruhashi beamed, making Kaidou flush red.

“We should probably just learn sign language like Nendou did.” Kaidou hummed, rolling a fork between his thumb and finger. “It’d be a lot easier.” Though possibly soul crushing for him, considering Kaidou had cram school and such already on his schedule.

“Sounds fun,” Kuboyasu commented. “I’d be down. Maybe we can surprise him.” Oh that was just too much, too nice, Kusuo didn’t even know what he did to earn this much love.

Nendou snorted, grinning widely as he pumped his fist on his chest, “I can teach you all!”

“That would save a lot of money.”

Kusuo stopped eating, a rare sight to see despite him being undisturbed, and he placed his spoon down. Everyone stopped talking, looking over at him in confusion before he finally opened his mouth, surprising them even more.

“I can hear you,” Kusuo managed out. “I always could.”

Teruhashi was the first to react, eyes widening and her face turning bright red. All those comments she muttered, he had heard them all.

Nendou blinked, smiling widely with his arms spread wide, “Congratulations on learning how to hear, pal!” Not quite there, but appreciated.

“Uh, uhm, OF COURSE! I knew the whole time,” Kaidou flashed a charming grin, which would’ve worked if it weren’t for the awkward pose he was doing.

Kuboyasu only stared, and drank his tea, “Oh. Well.”

“Sorry.” Then Kusuo paused, and raised his hands to sign. Felt more comfortable being like this, but you all are too nice to me. So the least I could do was tell you the truth. I don’t talk because I have selective mutism.

Nendou translated for them, and they all softened hearing this. Kusuo pressed his back against the booth seat and fiddled with his spoon before taking another bite. That felt easy, and weight lifting. Now that they know, he didn’t have to feel so bad about them going out of their way to do things for him just because they thought he was deaf.

“Of course I knew from the beginning,” Akechi boasted slightly, eyeing Aiura and Toritsuka with a smug grin. Aiura rolled her eyes at him, but pointed at Kusuo with a narrowed look.

“So you, like, could hear us the whole time,” she confirmed with him again. “I always thought you were just stupid smart, or something, at figuring things out despite not being able to hear, y’know?” Well, she wasn’t wrong about the smart part.

“That is so annoying!” Toritsuka blurted. “You’re annoying! Jeez! Would’ve been so much easier! Did you not tell us because you want an excuse to ignore us?” Kusuo recounted the number of times he avoided Toritsuka running towards him from behind, pretending he couldn’t hear him.

He proceeded to shake his head, very very slowly.

“He’s lying, by the way,” Akechi whispered. Kusuo clicked his tongue at that, earning himself a cheeky grin from Akechi.

Well that was that, now they all knew Kusuo wasn’t some deaf kid, even though that info might’ve spread throughout the school, which he really couldn’t care less about.

It was really nice, though, having friends he could trust.

[lvmosity]

saviour | harry potter

pairing: harry potter x muggleborn!hufflepuff!reader

requested: yes! by @scoofpoof​ thank u ♡

request: can i request for a harry potter x muggleborn! hufflepuff! reader? reader doesnt know harry potter (gasp) but he does bc they grew up in the same place and he lowkey has a crush on her. reader still doesnt know harry potter in school n is one of the top students. harry knows that she is physically strong bc she plays muggle sports n knows self defense. shes kind but not a coward so one time harry asks for help when he is being bullied n she agrees... reluctantly. u can choose the ending. thanks!

genre: fluff maybe?

word count: 3.4k (ok i didnt expect this to be long)

warnings: bullying, mentions of blood & scars, reader is a badass

tags: @sadhwstudent​ 

credit to the owner of the gif

It had only been less than two months since the news of Lord Voldemort’s supposed return from the dead had spread throughout the Wizarding World and all Harry Potter could do was watch in frustration as people branded him as a liar and deranged. He had to thank the Ministry of Magic, primarily Minister Fudge who took full control of this and covered up what he thinks to be complete utter nonsense. It wasn’t a surprise to him really as the Ministry of Magic were, after all, corrupt and incompetent.

Whilst Harry lied in bed feeling extremely alone and lost during those months, he did not get a single letter from his two best friends; Ron and Hermione, despite their promises. He was starting to wonder if they too had turned blind and decided their friendship wasn’t worth it but after finally meeting up one day for an explanation, he realised it was done so under Dumbledore’s orders which made the situation worse.

Then the events that followed after made it harder to cope with. He had discovered an old alliance formed by Dumbledore during the First Wizarding World and that half of them had either died or were seriously harmed. His godfather Sirius Black had informed him that the Dark Lord was in search of a special object that he had no access to during his previous attack, along with the mysterious actions of his headteacher who has ignored him throughout the summer. The pressure was starting to be a heavy toll on him, and he was forced to deal with it.

Unfortunately, it also became a difficulty attending school. His classmates had started eyeing him weirdly, growing awfully distant with him to which they would immediately stop talking once Harry entered the room, and some of his other so-called-friends had removed him from their lives. It also couldn’t help that certain students, none other than Draco Malfoy and his goons, had begun to bully him more than ever, hitting him with nastier remarks as well as the constant push and shove tactics.

Harry felt isolated and disorientated, felt as if no one had truly believed the words that came out of his mouth, felt as if he was made a laughing stock to the Wizarding World, felt as if Voldemort had already won the battle and it had barely even started. Ron and Hermione tried their best to cheer him up and distract him from reality but it would end in failure each time.

He was starting to lose hope, starting to think he was better off buried twenty-feet deep under the dirt since he knew his parents were the only ones who wouldn’t judge him, starting to accept the many labels plastered on him; he was a liar. 

He just had spent a strenuous hour-long detention session with Professor Umbridge in the afternoon due to his apparent cheek talking as well as spitting ‘false’ information about the Dark Lord’s return. Feeling emotionally drained, Harry found himself making a bee-line to the school’s library to have a moment to himself, he wasn’t prepared to face his friends and hear their worries.

Night had already fallen meaning everyone would be asleep by now, the hallways had also gotten dark. Luckily enough, the candles were the only light source as it made it slightly easier for Harry to find his way through the darkness. However, he wasn’t able to see anything further down the hall and he worried that a prefect or a professor on duty might catch him and drag him back to the dorms. Although, he’d rather bump into them than Filch.

And soon enough, once he had turned a corner and heard hurried footsteps approaching up ahead in the darkness, he started to panic. It was only a matter of time before he suddenly collided into something hard and he desperately hoped it wasn’t any of the two. Waiting to hear a grumpy voice scold him, he hears a high-pitched squeal instead.

The unknown figure in front quickly whispers a ‘lumos’ before being blinded by a bright light. Harry hisses at the sudden flash and squints his eyes to see past it expecting to see Filch or a professor. To his surprise, he realised it was just a girl but it wasn’t just any ordinary girl, it was you.

You look at Harry with a bewildered look to which he returns. Opening your mouth to question his presence, your head quickly whips back and a small gasp escapes from your lips. Both of you hear another set of footsteps approaching from behind and you instantly grab Harry’s hand and rush off to find a room or a spot to hide in.

After locating a random closet room, you hastily pull Harry inside with you and shut the door from behind. Harry leans against the wall and starts to pant but you hush at him indicating to keep quiet. You whisper a ‘Filch’ to him and he nods in realisation but mentally facepalms seconds later because you couldn’t see it anyways since the room was completely dark.

Several minutes pass by and no sign of footsteps or a grouchy voice could be heard meaning the coast was clear. Relieved, you flick your wand and a light illuminates from the tip of it, now the room was bright enough to see.

You turn to Harry and smile at him sheepishly, feeling embarrassed for grabbing a stranger’s hand. “Sorry about dragging you here, I had to make sure the both of us didn’t get caught, you know how Filch is.”

Harry shakes his head rapidly, “It’s fine, I appreciate you looking out for me though.”

“No worries...” Your words falter at the end waiting for him to introduce himself as you had no knowledge of the boy standing in front of you.

“Harry, Harry Potter.”

“Ah, well,” The sides of your eyes crinkled as you give him a friendly smile. “You’re welcome Harry, Harry Potter.”

You burst into fits of giggles, finding your small joke amusing. A faint blush creeps onto his face and Harry’s head shifts to the side in an attempt to hide it as he found you it adorable. Fortunately for him, you didn’t notice it but you noticed something instead and it wasn’t fortunate for him.

“Harry! Your hand’s bleeding!” You gasp as you reach out to his hand, lifting it up to your face to inspect it.

Harry winces at the sight of the blood, his scab had cut open supposedly from the harsh grip you had on him whilst you were running away before. It was only a minor cut and it didn’t really bother Harry whilst you reacted differently by shrieking as if he had lost a hand.

“What happened to your hand? Why do you have a scab?” You eye it closely, “It looks recent too.”

Harry scratches the back of his head with his other hand and stays silent, unsure on how to explain it to you that Professor Umbridge is a vile, old bat that enchanted a special quill to cut into his skin when he uses it. He also didn’t want you to worry too much and snitch on her to Dumbledore in case you would get in trouble.

Slightly frowning at his choice to ignore your question, you gently push him back to sit on a random obstacle as you rustle inside your school robes only to pull out a tiny first-aid box and kneel in front of Harry. You pick up a wound spray out of it and spritz it on his cut causing Harry to hiss at the slight pain.

Mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’ to him, you continue to dab the blood away, taking extra care not to deepen it. Once you saw that the cut was cleaned up, you pick up a plaster and place it on his cut, softly smoothing it out so that it sticks on properly.

Harry watches you intently as you smile to yourself feeling proud at your work, even if it simply was just tending to your aid. Harry lifts his hands up and stares at the plaster, it was girly for his liking as it was coloured a pastel purple and had a daisy pattern. He found it cute.

"It’s my friends,” Harry looks back at you. “Mine recently ran out so my friend lent me a few since I’m always getting into fights.” You bite your lip and look at Harry, waiting for a shocked reaction from him, he probably doesn’t expect you to be a troublesome girl.

“B-but for a good reason! I only fight the bad guys, y’know the bullies and all.” You stutter, trying to defend yourself. You began to bring up past events of you arguing with a Slytherin called Pansy and how it ended badly, showing him old bruises on your arm that were close to fading away. You then bring up another fight including a boy from your house and rambled on about how he blamed you for messing up a potion to which you secretly made it blow up in his face out of annoyance.

As you continue to rant, you didn’t notice Harry’s gaze on you. He knew all about you and how you are as a person, he knew this because he’s observed you for years. Harry figured that you didn’t know him too well as you saw him as a stranger but to him, you weren’t.

The two of you grew up in the same neighbourhood, practically living across from each other but a few houses down. Both of you also attended the same school and shared most classes together, yet throughout the years you didn’t seem to acknowledge his presence until now. 

This wasn’t a surprise to Harry as he was a quiet child and didn’t get on with the others in his year. He stayed reserved, spending most of his time in school sitting inside class with his teacher during break and lunchtime watching other children have fun. The teacher wouldn’t pay much attention to Harry but it didn’t bother him as he was much interested in watching you play on the field outside.

He was captivated by you. You were different from most girls in his year; you loved playing muggle sports as you would constantly single-handedly beat the boys at football. Gradually, he developed a crush on you. He would consistently hear stories from his classmates of how you would beat up bullies and stand up to anyone making fun of your friends, or rather anyone. You were strong for your age, in fact, you were always strong. 

Growing up, the stories would get crazier and Harry got a chance to witness it come alive. During one chilly December night, he stumbled upon the scene of you being harassed by two men. Irritated by their actions, Harry was about to call them out but in a blink of an eye; you quickly grab one of their arms and twist it, launching him over your shoulder and slammed him down on the ground. 

The other man shrieked in horror and ran away, bumping into Harry’s shoulder in the process. Satisfied, you calmly walk away from the groaning man and left a speechless Harry. From that moment onwards, his admiration for you tripled.

Not only were you strong, but you were also freakishly intelligent. Scoring ‘Outstanding’ grades in most of your classes to which you were one of the top students in Hogwarts, always positioning a place higher than Hermione (she hated that). 

Harry was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts as he sees you with your head tilted to the side, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, I asked if you were alright. Something wrong?”

“Oh, er, n-no. I was just thinking about something.”

“Ah,” You place your chin in both the palm of your hands, looking up at Harry. “Say, you haven’t told me how you got that scab. What happened?”

Harry sighed. “Umbridge.”

You roll your eyes, “Of course, I’m not surprised.” You stand up and sit beside Harry who scooches a bit to the side to make space. Although, due to how small the obstacle you guys were sat on, your hands were lightly brushing up against each other and Harry tried his best to keep calm and fight the uncontrollable blush.

“I don’t know why I’ve only just realised this but you were the guy that was with Cedric the night he died, right?” Harry turns his head to you, startled at the sudden change of topic. “And you’re the one who keeps saying that the Dark Lord has returned.”

No answer. Harry stays silent, he had a feeling that you were also going to make fun of him, call him a liar and walk off; forever ignoring his existence. But instead, he hears a soft giggle.

“Don’t worry, I believe you.”

Harry shoots you a confused look, “What, really?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just... mostly everyone doesn’t, and they bully me for it.”

You frown at the new information before your face relaxes. “I’m so sorry that’s been happening to you Harry...” Harry shrugs and you couldn’t help but start to feel bad. “I wish it was different. If there was a way for me to help, I would--”

Harry’s head perks up; “Then help me.”

“What? Harry, I barely know you.”

“But I know you.”

“You don’t even know my name--”

“Y/N, your name is Y/N Y/LN.”

“Okay, now that’s weird.”

Harry shakes his head, “It’s a long story but we grew up in the same neighbourhood and attended the same primary school.”

“Oh,” That made sense. You were beginning to think you had a stalker. “How come I’ve only just met you today?” 

“Must be a magic spell I put on myself to be invisible.”

You playfully nudge him. “Oh shut up, a kid that young wouldn’t have been able to learn the spell for it yet.”

You both laugh and for a moment, Harry’s troubles had disappeared and he was enjoying the company, your company. As the laughter fades away, Harry turns back to staring at you and you question him, “What?”

“So, will you help me? With the bullying?” 

You bite your lip and ponder for a few minutes. An hour ago, he was just a stranger to you (and whoa, has it already been an hour?) yet it felt like you guys had already met before, like fate had brought him to you and perhaps offered you both to initiate a friendship or more. Wait, what were you thinking? You’ve only just met the guy!

Your eyes meet up with his once more and he gazes at you softly, waiting for an answer. You couldn’t help but feel even more bad for Harry. What were you going to say?

“Okay.”

●●●

The next morning had arrived and like always, Harry had to deal with the usual weird looks and whispers from the students that passed by him in the halls. Ron and Hermione would instantly glare at them to which they’d shut up and walk off but they knew they’d start whispering again once they turned their backs away.

Frustrated at her best friend’s ignorance, Hermione pulls Harry’s arm back causing the three of them to stop in their tracks. “Harry, aren’t you going to say or do something about this? You can’t just ignore them!”

Harry whips his arm out of her grasp causing Hermione to frown. “It’s nothing to worry about, I’ll be alright.”

“Alright?! How could you possibly feel alright when everyone is going around making a mockery of you--”

“Well, well, if it isn’t Potter.” The three of them turn to see Draco and his two other delinquent friends walk up to them, a smug look plastered across Draco’s face. “Finding it difficult these days, aren’t we?”

Ron scoffs, “Screw off Malfoy.” He nudges Harry and a mumbles a ‘let’s just go Harry.’ as him and Hermione start to walk away but Harry stays put.

“You know, I’m surprised you haven’t had enough and dropped dead just like poor Ceddy. You can both die as cowards.”

Harry steps closer, glowering at Draco. “Don’t you dare talk about Cedric like that.” 

Draco also steps closer, their foreheads almost touching each other as anger boils up within them. “Or what?” He shoves Harry back by the shoulders causing him to lose a bit of his balance but luckily enough Ron and Hermione were a few meters away to catch him in time.

Standing back up, he was about to lunge at Draco with his fists clenched up ready to land a punch but before he could, he was interrupted by shouting. 

“Hey Draco!”

Everyone turns around and sees you up behind Draco whose head wasn’t turned around in time. He didn’t get the chance to acknowledge who the person calling his name was as you punched him square in the face making him stumble back in pain and tripped on his feet, landing hard on his back. 

The rest stood there in horror and utter shock, their mouths slightly opened as their minds were trying to register what had just happened. Harry couldn’t believe it, you stood up for him. Were you watching the situation unfold?

Draco groans and looks up at you, pinching the sides of his nose bridge in an attempt to control his now bleeding nose. “What the fuck--”

“For your information blondie, Harry and Cedric aren’t cowards.” You slowly lean over Draco, peering down at him with narrowed eyes as you smirk. “And neither am I.” You wink and reached into your robes before throwing tissues at him, Draco watches them fall to the ground and your figure walks away, a pleased look on your face.

You make your way to the trio whose eyes were focused on you. You stand in front of Harry and hand him a potion. Harry, still speechless, stares at the unknown potion in his hands.

“It’s Murtlap Essence,” You lightly tap the sides of his hands that had his scab from last night. “Soak your hand with that, it’ll heal it.”

A warm smile appears on his face, the sides of his eyes crinkled making it more genuine. He was so thankful, he couldn’t seem to think of words to express his gratitude. For years, he was yearning for you to acknowledge his presence and the time finally came, better than what he expected it to turn out to be.

But his smile was enough for your heart to flutter and you started to notice his presence was stronger than ever before, you didn’t know why you hadn’t known him before but at least from now on; the image of his smile would burrow itself in your mind. This would be enough to want to know him more.

The two of you stare at each other for what seems like forever and the other two clear their throats, feeling awkward and unsure what to do or say. You and Harry switch back to reality and the realisation of staring at each other for a while makes you both flustered.

“Thank you Y/N, for everything. You didn’t need to punch Draco though,” Harry laughs and so did the rest of you.

You shake your head, “Nah, that pompous brat deserved it. I made sure to punch him hard so his father would hear about it.” You joked, giggling afterwards.

You faintly smile and point past the trio, indicating that you were going to take your leave. “I’ll see you soon Harry, yeah?” 

He nods and you stroll past him, but not even several meters away until Harry calls out for you: “Hogsmeade. This Saturday, would you come with--”

“Yes.”

You hastily answer back without stopping or glancing back but the both of you knew each one had supported an excited smile, both now looking forward to the date that was soon coming up.

As Harry watches your figure get smaller further down the hallways, he felt his admiration for you become extremely stronger. He saw you as his saviour, back then when he was young and vulnerable but managed to make his childhood happy despite the problems occurring in his household. He saw you as his saviour right now, where he is older and still vulnerable with the bullying and all, but once again, you made his life worthwhile; he didn’t have to worry as much anymore.

He has you by his side now, and he’ll do anything to protect you in return as an act of kindness. Just like what you did by defending him back then.

[sad-boy-mono]

Character and Relationship Backstory and an update from me

Hey y'all! I have an update on where I've been at the end of this post for those of y'all who have been following Highschool Casualties and are wondering where I went, but if you've just stumbled across this I don't want to throw a long and random explination at ya!

Haven’t read the main story yet?

Heres the Tumblr Masterpost and the Ao3 link!

The characters

Damien Haas

16, sophomore in high school. Hardcore musical theater kid from grades 4-8. Loves to sing and shit. Got quite a few bigger roles early on. Things got busy freshman year, so he had to put things on hold.

(Favorite musical is probably falsettos or something idk I'm not a theater kid.)

(That's a lie, I'm just a bad theater kid XP)

Fucking loves superhero movies and shit because haha irony.

Favorite class is Drama, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but Shakespeare is forever.

Has an irrational fear of doctors, dentists, and needles due to some surgical mishaps that occurred when he was young. Also has a fear of the ocean.

Deals with anxiety and frequent panic attacks.

Shayne Topp

15, sophomore in high school. Really fucking loves football, but not on the team. He wanted to be, but he use to be friends with some of the people on the football team. And they... weren't the best to say the least. They were bad influences and caused Shayne to do bad things. He's no longer friends with them, but still goes to the games with Courtney and Damien to cheer on Courtny's brothers who are on the team.

Favorite class is probably woodworking, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but birdhouses are forever.

(Though he's actually really good at math, like he has the capability to take honors and do well. It just isn't fun.)

Doesn't know how to ride a bike and can't swim. Deep water freaks him out.

Has a huge fear of hurting other (because haha irony) and always puts his friends before himself.

Courtney Miller

14, freshman in high school. Loves writing and art. Has a lot of sketchbooks, but most of them are half filled. At this point she just collects cool sketchbooks.

Also love film/acting/drama but has a lot of anxiety around performing, so she ends up being on her school's tech crew. She's really good at editing, and has a passion for behind the scenes work around productions.

Favorite musical is Heathers.

Favorite class is her painting and art history class, least favorite is math. Because math is hard and temporary but art is forever.

Struggls a lot with school. Doesn't have many friends outside of Shayne and Damien, even when it comes to her tech crew. Generally on bad terms with "friends" (bullies) from middle school.

Doesn't enjoy the other people in her class. A few of them are former (or current) bullies from middle school.

Relationships

Damien and Shayne

Met in the first grade, became friends in a very first-grader-like manner.

Shayne: Hey I like your pokemon shirt

Damien: Oh thanks, you wanna play with trucks?

Shayne: Yeah sure.

They’ve been best friends ever since.

They had a bit of a falling out from mid 7th through 8th grade because of the guys Shayne hung out with. They were your average middle school douchbags but a lil worse.

Things got sorted the summer following 8th grade.

When they started high school, Shayne’s older brother would pick Damien up and give him a ride to school every morning; even though Damien was in walking distance.

But a month-ish before their freshman year, Shayne’s family ended up moving closer to Damien’s, because a tree fell through Shayne’s house during a terrible storm that hit their town. Even though it hypothetically could've been fixed, the house was old so they took it as a sign to just move.

Shayne is the only person who knows about Damien's anxiety outside of his family, and is who Damien goes to when he's having heighted anxiety or a panic attack.

They also bond over their fear of water strangly often.

Shayne and Courtney

Courtney’s family moved across the street from Shayne’s family when Courtney was in the 7th grade and Shayne was in the 8th. And after the initial family intoductions when the Millers first moved in, Shayne never talked to Courtney. Until about a month later, when he was home alone and Courtney knocked at his door.

After Shayne asked 'what's up?' Courtney asked if they could be friends.

“Do you know how to play smash?” Shayne asked.

Courtney sighed and let out a defeated ‘no’ and began walking away from the door.

“Ok, I’m gonna teach you how to play.”

They would hang out quite a bit until Shayne moved, but they still talked a lot.

Shayne later found out that Courtney would go door to door asking for friends. Shayne was the first and only person who had actually said yes.

Most people mistake them for siblings and when they find out they aren’t related, they assume they’re dating.

Shayne treats Courtney like a little sister and is very protective of her.

Shayne was fucking LIVID when he found out Courtney was being bullied. As much as he wanted to fight them, Courtney talked him down from doing so.

He still did the whole 'don't fuck with Courtney or I will fucking kill you' big brother thing. It did the trick for a while. When you're a very athletic 15 year old, it's easy to intimidate people that are younger than you.

Courtney hasn't told him about... the current bullies though.

Courtney and Damien

Met through Shayne. He made a group chat with the 3 of them that Shayne named “Operation Friendship”. Since Shayne and Damien weren't on speaking terms when Shayne and Courtney became friends they never had a chance to meet.

But they didn’t meet in person until Courtney’s first day of high school, where the 3 of them had their first class together, conveniently...

Anytime they play video games, a conversation along this happens.

"Courtney where did you learn to play this game?"

"...Shayne"

"Explains why you suck"

"HEY!"

(Shayne) "HEY!"

------

Hey! Thank you so much for reading! It's been awhile hasn't it. Yeah, I'm sorry. My life has been all over the place for the past few months and I've been struggling to find the motivation to write. I don't want to specifics because it's not only very personal, but a long story.

But to summerize why I sorta dissapeared, I had a lot of personal issues going on with both school and home and as my mental health was on this steady, but consistent, decline, it was at its very lowest in December. My home issues had reached their peak, and with the end of the quarter coming up after Xmas break and my weeks worth of late work coming back to bite me, I was too stressed to work on anything I found enjoyable without losing motivation immidiently.

Things didn't start getting better for me until some time early in semester 2 of my year. My school was transitioning back into fully in person with covid rates at their lowest in my area and things were finally feeling consistant again, but I was still getting my bearings. School still felt draining, though much less than before, and I didn't have much energy to work on things I was passionate about. I don't think I even made a new document for chapter 6 until mid-ish March.

I'm very nervious about coming back to this story after so long for many reason. First being, although I am feeling better mentally, things feel very off with writing this story. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of passion to write this story and want to see it to completion, I've just had a fluxuating interest in smosh aswell. I enjoy the channel, just not as much as I use to. And my hyperfixation on Smosh was a big drive for me writing the story. Second being that I have so much writers block around the sixth chapter of this story, and I'm worried that as soon as I try to work on it, that block will make me lose my motivation again and I'll put it off for another 6 months.

This "chapter" (idk what else I'd call this) has probably been fully finished in my drafts for about a month now, and I've been putting off posting it because of those listed anxieties, but I really want to continue writing this story so I hope you enjoyed!

Also sorry if this explination was all over the place, I just got my first covid vaccine today and am feeling kinda bleh.

[joontopia]

Evolver: [SC] Intro: Ashley

pairing: namjoon x reader, jimin x oc, jin x reader

genre: mafia!au, evolver!au, superpower!au, soulmate!au with angst, smut, & violence

word count: 7.2k

a/n: this is a side chapter of the event where the OC meets her best friend Ashley for the first time. side chapters will be mainly focusing on events that occurred before chapter 1 to help provide backstory to a lot of the characters. some side chapters will also focus on events that occur to side characters during a main chapter. thank you guys for reading and i hope you enjoy!

warnings: nsfw, cursing, soft dom!joon, bratty!reader, mentions of abuse

12 years earlier

“Min Y/N, please report to the principal’s office.”

The entirety of your 7th grade class turned to look at you due to the announcement that came over the intercom. You look behind you, over your left shoulder to your twin brother, Yoongi, who was sitting at a desk behind you. He gives you a shrug and goes back to his course work. You stand up out of your desk, giving your teacher a small smile as you bow before walking out of the classroom, closing the door behind you. You made your way down the hallways of your private school towards the principal’s office, smoothing out any wrinkles that could be present in your school uniform. No one is usually called to the principal’s office unless they are in trouble. Academically or behaviorally. You slowly start to panic. Your mind racing through anything you possibly could have done wrong, worried that your grades may have started slipping.

Ever since Yoongi’s evolver abilities started to grow, your father has been pushing you to catch up to him in skill. Both you and your brother have mental evolver capabilities. The ability to see into other people’s minds.We were only seven when our powers started to manifest. In the first five years that you’ve had this ability, you have only been able to read or hear people’s active thoughts. Yoongi’s ability was twice as advanced as yours. The first development of his powers was the ability to induce nightmares. Something your father had him try on you a few times. Yoongi always felt bad afterwards, sneaking into your room and climbing into your bed to hold you as you cried, unable to fall asleep from the lingering images in your head. He was never able to comfort you immediately after the act, your father saying to him that he should never show weakness. He would always come see you after your father would fall asleep, apologizing to you and begging you not to hate him. You never blamed him though. He was only doing what was told of him. 

By the time you were both nine, Yoongi was already developing a new ability. The ability to erase memories. We found out when he got in trouble in school for beating up the school bully, a guy who picked on you on a daily basis and Yoongi finally had enough. We were brought into the principal's office, our father being called in for a meeting, only for the teacher and the principal to have magically forgotten why we were there by the time our father arrived. Your father has been pushing for your development ever since. Only last year have you been able to start locating and reading past memories in people's minds. A skill you have yet to perfect, the images sometimes only appearing as still images or blurs, and the voices incomprehensible. You’ve lost so much sleep and neglected your studies over trying to hone your skills, you were sure your grades have suffered as a result. You were just hoping they hadn’t fallen too far, not wanting to deal with whatever punishment your father would hand you. 

You walked up to the door of the principal’s office, silently praying your father wasn’t inside. As you walked in, you were greeted by the school secretary. You bowed to her as you walked past her, walking into a small room where the principal’s desk was located. When you made it to the room, you were relieved to see that the person waiting in the room with Principal Lee was not your father, but a young girl around your age, dressed in the same school uniform as you, her long dark hair hanging loose past her shoulders. Principal Lee looked your way, the dark haired girl turning to follow his gaze, smiling at you. You make eye contact with her, slightly caught off guard by the blue color of her eyes. 

“Miss Min, thank you for coming down.  This is Miss Yang Ashley. She is a transfer student from China. She will be in your classes for the remainder of the semester. Would you be so kind as to show her around school, help her get acquainted?” Principal Lee gave you a smile. Even though it was posed as a question, you knew you didn’t have a choice in the matter. You didn’t mind though, the girl seemed nice enough just by the way she was smiling at you. 

You returned their smiles with one of your own before answering. “Of course, I would love to.”

Ashley’s smile grew bigger and she turned to look back at Principal Lee. He gave her a nod, insinuating that they were done here. Ashley stood up from her chair and followed you out into the hallway. 

“So what’s the school like here? Any cute boys?” Ashley asked you the moment you closed the door to the principal’s office. You were a little surprised by the directness in her question, you stumbled slightly over your answer. 

“O-oh, um. The school is okay. The teachers are really nice. And I guess there’s cute boys. I, uh… I haven’t really paid attention,” you reply with a blush. The last part only being partly true. With how strict your father has been with your skill development and studies, you haven’t had the time to pay attention. You really only looked at one boy anyways. 

“What are your friends like?” Ashley asked, the school bell ringing as you both continued down the hallway, students filtering out of their classes as they headed for lunch. 

“I don’t have many friends. Just my brother and his friends. But they’re really nice. I can introduce you at lu—“ You were cut off when you felt someone shove you from the back, making you fall forward on your knees, your face saved from hitting the floor by your hands and arms bracing your fall. 

“Hey! What’s your problem?” You hear Ashley ask the person who pushed you. 

You turn around to see three 8th grade girls standing behind you, two of them giggling at you, the third one, a blonde haired girl with her arms crossed, glaring down at you. “Move it, Min. What have I told you about getting in my way?”

“Leave me alone, Hana,” You say to the blonde girl, Ashley helping you up from the floor as you hold back tears, fighting back the urge to rub and soothe your throbbing knees. 

“I’ll leave you alone once you learn to stay away from Seokjinnie-oppa. He’s mine. He’ll never like a pathetic girl like you anyways.” The two other girls standing behind Hana started to giggle furiously. 

“Who’s… Seokjinnie?” Ashley asked, turning to look at you as she moved her hand down to hold yours, catching you off guard just a bit. 

“He’s one of my fri-- One of my brother’s friends,” you quickly correct yourself. You didn’t want to give Hana another reason to attack you. “He’s a year older than us. Come on, let’s just go to lunch.” You step away from Hana and her friends, trying to pull on Ashley’s hand to get her to follow you. You didn’t want to cry in front of Hana. You didn’t want to give her the satisfaction that she got to you. Ashley didn’t budge. You turned back around to look at her still holding your hand, giving you a mischievous smirk before turning around to face Hana.

“Apologize to her,” Ashley said, glaring at Hana.

Hana scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Who do you think you’re talking to, new girl? Word of advice, I wouldn’t be friends with her.” Hana nodded her head in my direction before giving Ashley a smirk. You felt tears form in your eyes as you bit the side of your cheek to keep from saying something, your fingernails digging into the palm of your free hand as you grip it into a tight fist.

“I’ll be friends with whoever I want to be friends with. I bet she’s a lot cooler than you,” Ashley said smirking back at Hana.

“Why you little brat… AHHH!” Hana went to take a step towards Ashley, but almost immediately stumbled backwards clutching at her stomach while screaming in pain. She tripped over her feet and fell on her back, looking at Ashley with fear in her eyes. You look over at Ashley, eyes wide as you notice her eyes are fading from a vibrant violet back to a baby blue. Other students stopped to look to see what was going on, some sticking around to see how it plays out, others continuing to walk towards the lunchroom. 

“What did you do to me you freak?” Hana asked with tears in her eyes as her two friends helped her stand up from the floor.

“Mess with us again and you’ll find out.” Ashley glared at Hana as she stood up. Hana shifts her eyes to look at you and you give her a smirk.

“What’s going on here?” A teacher walks up the group of you, looking between you and Hana. The students who were standing around now walking away.  “Miss Choi?”

“We were just welcoming the new girl,” Hana gave the teacher the most fake smile you have ever seen. “Come on, let's go to lunch.” Hana turns and speaks to her lackeys, giving you a glare before walking off. The teacher raises his eyebrow at you and you give him a small smile before he turns and walks back into his classroom. As he walks out of sight, you see Yoongi walking up to you and Ashley, carrying your books that you left in your last class.

“What was that all about?” Yoongi asks as he hands you your books. You give him a smile, thanking him.

“Just Hana being a jerk again. Don’t worry, it was handled. Yoongi, this is Yang Ashley. She just transferred in from China. Ashley, this is my brother, Yoongi.” Yoongi gave Ashley a small wave before you turned to her asking, “What did you do to her anyways? And why did your eyes turn purple? I've only seen evolvers eyes turn red.”

Ashley looked over at you and smiled. “I can inflict pain on someone just by looking at them.” She responded so casually. “I also wear colored contacts. See?” She reached up and moved one of her contacts to the side, revealing a dark brown iris behind it.

“My parents wanted me to get brown ones. To help hide when I use my ability. I have some to wear out around town, but I like to wear the blue around other evolvers. I want them to know,” she explains as she winks at you and you smile at her.

“Cool,” you hear Yoongi say, “Yeah, she can stick around. Come on, Tae and Jimin are waiting for us.” Yoongi starts walking down the hall towards the lunchroom. 

“Why blue?” You ask Ashley as you both start to follow Yoongi.

“It’s my favorite color,” she says.

“Mine, too,” you say back to her. Ashley smiles at you and links her arm with yours as you continue walking. Your lips turn up in a small smile. You’ve never had a friend who was a girl before, only ever hanging out with Yoongi and the guys. The other girls in school never really seemed to like you very much and you never understood why.

Once in the lunchroom, you and Ashley grab a tray of food from the cafeteria and you walk her over to the usual table that you sit at with your brother, Taehyung, and Jimin. Tae and Jimin are sitting next to each other, laughing at something that happened in their class as Yoongi just leaned back in his chair across the table from them, looking bored. As you approached with Ashley, Jimin looked your way, giving you a big smile. “Hey, Y/n!” He said while waving at you. His smile quickly faded when he looked to your side, eyes going wide and his cheeks blushed a bright pink as he stared at Ashley. You hear Ashley giggle as Taehyung turns to look to see what Jimin was staring at. He gives you two a cute boxy smile as you sit down. Ashley sits between you and Yoongi. Jimin, now sitting across from Ashley, looked down at his hands in his lap, still blushing. Ashley smiled at the boy across from her. 

“Ashley, this is Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin. Both in our grade. Guys, this is Ashley,” you said to the two boys across from you. 

“So how long have you guys known each other?” She asks, still looking at Jimin. Jimin looks up at her, mouth opening to answer but nothing comes out and he closes it again before looking at Taehyung. Tae looked at his friend, confusion painted across his face. You didn’t have to read their minds to know what they were thinking: Jimin begging for Taehyung to answer the question for him while Tae not understanding what made his friend so suddenly shy. Ashley scrunchies her eyebrows and looks from you to Yoongi. Yoongi rolls his eyes and finally answers her. 

“We’ve been friends since we were really young. Our families all work together, so we grew up together,” he said before grabbing his drink off the table and sipping from it.

“Oh, that’s so cool,” Ashley turns to Jimin again and smiles at him causing Jimin to blush wildly again and look back down at his lap. 

“So, then… Who is this Seokjinnie?” Ashley turns to ask you, her long hair falling from behind her ear and into her face. You felt your face start to blush, not sure on how to answer. Who was Seokjin to you? One of your brother’s best friends? Taehyung’s older brother? The boy you’ve had a crush on since you were ten? 

“Seokjinnie? Who has been calling me that? And, YA! Jimin! Didn’t your parents teach you to keep your hands to yourself?” Jin sat down next to Jimin at your table. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice that he was approaching. You also didn’t notice Jimin, who had his hand extended across the table at Ashley, inches away from what looked like pushing her hair back around her ear and out of her face. He snatched his hand back before he came in contact with her after hearing Jin calling him out.

Ashley looks over at the blushing boy and giggles again before turning to look back at Jin. “So YOU must be Seokjinnie. Nice to finally put a face to the name. I’m Ashley. Yang Ashley. I just transferred here. I’m Y/N’s new best friend.” She turns to you and winks. You smile back before looking at Jin.

“Please call me just Seokjin or Jin. No one calls me Seokjinnie. I don’t like it. Well, unless it’s Y/N,” He says while looking at you and winking, causing you to smile and blush, looking down at your food and taking a bite. Ashley looks at you for a second and raises an eyebrow before looking back at Jin as he continues to talk. “And did you say Yang? As in Yang Enterprises in China? I think our parents just went into business together.” 

You look up at Ashley, a little hopeful. If this was true, that would mean you would see Ashley a lot outside of school. “Maybe this could be one friend my dad would let me keep,” you thought to yourself. You see Yoongi looking at you from the corner of your eye. You thought you saw his eyes briefly flash red, but you weren’t sure. You make eye contact with him and he gives you a small, sad smile. You were about to mouth to him and ask him what’s wrong before Ashley started speaking again.

“Yeah, that’s my grandparent’s company. My parents moved us here on business so that would make sense.” Ashley smiled at Jin and then looked at her tray of food and started to eat. Jin gave a little smile before turning and talking to the guys. The boys fell into a conversation of what they should do over the weekend. 

“So, is everyone in this school an evolver?” Ashley turns to look at you, scooping a spoonful of food off her tray and into her mouth. 

“Not everyone. Some of them are siblings of evolvers who go here. Like that girl, Hana. She’s not an evolver, but her little brother Soobin is,” you say while you pick at your food. You continue to eat your lunch, answering any other questions Ashley had about the school. She started asking you questions about what you guys do around here for fun. You were saved by the ringing bell signaling the end of the lunch hour from answering, not wanting to tell her that all you ever do is go to school or hang out at home. Your father always having something new for you to study or practice, whether it is working on your evolver ability or developing a new language or skill.

Everyone gets up from the table, walking together to dump the contents of their lunch tray in the trash and stacking the trays on the rack next to the door of the lunchroom.

“Are you guys coming outside for recess?” Jimin looks at you and Ashley as Tae and Yoongi start to walk towards the door leading outside. Jin had already waved goodbye to you guys, walking to hang out with the other upperclassmen in his grade. 

“No, I’m going to give Ashley a tour of the school before our next class. We’ll see you later, okay?” You say to Jimin as Ashley hooks her arm into yours again and you guys walk into the hallway. Jimin gives you guys a shy smile and turns to follow Yoongi and Tae outside, Yoongi saying something about wanting to play some basketball.

“He’s cute,” Ashley says as you guys walk down the hallway towards the lockers. “Is he always that shy?” 

“Who, Jimin? He can be around new people. I’ve never seen him act like that though. But, come on. We need to get you a locker. There’s an empty one next to mine. Let’s see if we can get you that one.” You smile at Ashley as she grabs your hand and starts pulling you quickly down the hallway back towards the principal’s office. You pick up your pace, practically skipping next to her. Feeling happy that you finally found a girl that you could start to be friends with.

It was Saturday afternoon, around 12:45PM when you heard your front doorbell ring, pulling your attention from the backyard where you saw Yoongi and Jin sitting on a bench while Tae and Jimin play wrestled in the grass. You stay seated in the chair next to the parlor room that your father likes to use as a meeting room whenever his business partners come over for meetings. He didn’t always make you sit outside of the room during his home meetings, usually only doing so when someone new was coming over. Wanting you to read their minds and report to him everything you gathered. You watch as your family butler opens the door, greeting the visitors that were walking in. You perked up in your seat when you saw Ashley walk through the door with who you assumed were her parents. She looked around the room, her eyes finally landing on you and she smiled, waving as she ran over to you. You stood up from your chair just in time for her to give you a hug. You look over her shoulder at your father who was standing in the living room with Tae and Jin’s dad, Won-ho, and Jimin’s father, Ji-hoon. The look on his face was unreadable as he took in the sight of Ashley hugging you. He looked away from you, walking over to greet Ashley’s parents before leading them into the parlor room, offering them something to drink and sending your butler to fetch their orders. Your father stands at the door as the adults walk past him to find their seats, Ashley’s mom stopping to give her a kiss on the head before walking in. Your father looks at you with a stern expression until you sit back down in your chair. Finally walking in and closing the door behind him after you had done so.

“Why aren’t you outside playing with the guys?” Ashley asked you, still standing in front of you. 

“I have to sit out here until my dad says I can leave,” You say to Ashley as you tuck your hair behind your left ear, avoiding making eye contact with her. You hope she doesn’t ask why. You don’t want to tell her that you have to spy on her parents’ thoughts. You didn’t want to give her any reason to be mad at you. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll sit out here with you then.” Ashley went to pull a spare chair from the dining room and placed it next to you against the wall, sitting down beside you. You gave her a small smile. You wanted to tell her that it was okay, that she could go outside and hang out with the guys. You wouldn’t really be able to talk to her anyways, having to concentrate on listening to the meeting, but you didn’t say anything. You were just happy to have the company.

“So, do you have a crush on Jin?” She asked you as she pulled one of her feet onto the chair with her, leaning back against the wall. Your eyes widen at her sudden question. You already know you’re going to have to get used to her bluntness if you guys were going to be friends. 

“N-No. I don’t have a crush on Jin,” you say as you slightly scrunch your nose. “W-Why would you say that?” You turn to look straight ahead of you, avoiding eye contact again as you try to hide your blushing cheeks.

“Because you’ve done that every time his name has been mentioned.” She looks at your cheeks briefly before continuing. “Not to mention how you looked at him when he joined us at the lunch table yesterday. I think he might have a little crush on you, too.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s nice like that to everyone. I’m pretty sure he just sees me as a little sister,” you say with a sigh. Ashley gives you a shrug and looks around the house. 

“You have a big house. It’s really pretty. Did your mom decorate it? My mom likes to decorate our house.” You freeze up again at her question, looking down at your hands before responding.

“I don’t know. I don’t have a mom,” you say quietly.

“What do you mean? Everyone has a mom.” Ashley looks at you curiously.

“I don’t remember mine. I have an idea of what she looks like but I don’t remember her being around. My dad said that she left for America when Yoongi and I were really young. No one talks about her around us.” You look at Ashley and shrug your shoulders, forcing a smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says before turning to look outside at the boys in the backyard who were now playing a game of basketball, Jin and Yoongi against Jimin and Tae.

You take this chance to look the opposite way, trying to hide your eyes as they turned red as you tried to listen in on the conversation in the parlor room. You are able to hear your father speaking, trying to drown him out as you tried to focus on hearing any other voices. It would be so much easier if you could look at the people that you were trying to read, but your father wants you to get better at reading minds while you’re in a different room. You start to worry that you were going to fail him when you couldn’t hear anything, your body tensing at the memory of the punishment your father gave you the last time you failed. Your left arm starting to tingle from memory of the last time he used his electricity to punish you. After just a few minutes, you start to hear thoughts of two voices you’re not familiar with, and you feel a sliver of hope course through you, knowing that it must have been Mr and Mrs Yang. That small feeling of hope quickly disappears once you realize you can’t understand a single thing they are saying, their thoughts completely in Chinese. You feel your shoulders slump, your eyes fading back to their natural light brown color.

“You’re not going to be able to read their minds, you know.” Ashley whispered while still looking outside, catching you again by surprise. You look over at her with a worried look on your face. The fact that she somehow knew what your ability was being the least of your concern. You were more worried about how she was about to react to you spying on her parents.

“I… I wasn’t trying… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to. This is why my dad has me sit here. I’m so sorry,” you whisper to her as she turns to look at you, tears starting to form in your eyes.

She gives you a soft smile. “Hey, it's okay. You’re just doing what you were told. My parents told me what you and your brother can do. They talked in the car with me before we got here saying to keep our thoughts in Chinese, just to be safe. I’m not going to do that though. I trust you. I think it’s cool that you can read minds.” 

You blink at her in confusion, your tears going away. “How can you already trust me? You barely know me?” 

“That doesn’t matter. I’ve decided that we’re going to be best friends forever. So why wouldn’t I trust you?” Ashley looked at you still smiling. You smile back at her, her words filling you with warmth.

“Thank you. I trust you, too,” you say back to her. Ashley stands up and grabs your hand and starts pulling you out of your seat.

“Come on. Let’s go hang out with the guys. No point in sitting here anyways since you wouldn’t be able to understand their thoughts,” Ashley continued to pull you down the hallway and out the door. You looked back at the door to the parlor room for a second before walking outside. She’s not wrong. Surely, your father would understand.

Once you guys walked outside, Ashley called out to the boys, Jimin being the first one to pay attention to her. His distraction allowed Yoongi to dribble around him and sink a basket, Tae walking over to hit Jimin on the shoulder for letting his guard down. Yoongi looks over at you, and scratches his head, his little signal to you to let you know to read his mind. 

“What are you doing? Did dad already dismiss you?” You read his thoughts. You shook your head at him and gave him a small smile with a shrug.

“I’ll just tell him later when everyone isn’t around,” you think to yourself as you still looked at your brother, watching as he scrunched his eyebrows at you, eyes glowing red.

“Or you could just tell me now.” You hear your brother think and your eyes widen at him. You look over at Ashley as she’s talking to Jin and Tae. Jimin had wandered off to the side of the yard looking at the orchid garden, moving some of the flowers to the side like he was trying to find something. You walk over to Yoongi, pulling him slightly to the side away from your friends to keep them from hearing you.

“Did you just read my mind? Since when have you been able to do that?” You asked in a harsh whisper, your anxiety going up slightly. You and Yoongi usually share everything with each other. Did your father know? You couldn’t help but worry about what will happen once your father finds out that Yoongi has developed another skill with his ability while you were still struggling in better controlling your two. 

“It just started a few days ago. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t want you to start worrying like you are now. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner,” Yoongi tried to give you a comforting smile. You start nibbling at your bottom lip, still feeling anxious about this new piece of information. Yoongi, still sensing your anxiety, steps towards you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you in for a hug. You tense up just a little before relaxing and hugging him back. You and your brother try to not show any sibling affection towards each other anywhere your father could see. Your father believing Yoongi’s love for you would make him grow into a weak leader. 

“I’m not going to tell him,” Yoongi says to you as he pulls away. “I haven’t told anyone but Jin and now you. It will be our secret.” 

You smile at your brother, thankful that he was nothing like the way your father wanted him to be. Protecting you has always been one of his top priorities. You make a silent promise to yourself to grow stronger so you would be able to return the favor. You both walk back towards your friends just in time to hear Jin let out a small yelp and rub his right shoulder, Tae and Ashley laughing at him. They must have asked her what her ability was.

You stop to stand by Ashley just as she spoke, “So you, Jin, can control fire and you, Tae, ice? That's pretty cool. What can Jimin do?”

“Jimin has really fast reflexes. Makes playing against him in many physical games really annoying.,” Tae says, turning to look for his friend. “Where is Jimin?” He asks looking around the yard.

“I’m right here!” Jimin says as he’s running up to the group, stopping to stand between Ashley and Jin with his left arm behind his back. A big smile spreads across his face as he looks at Ashley.

“I went to get you this.” Jimin brings his arm from around his back, a baby blue orchid in his hand and hands it to Ashley. She grabs it by the stem, bringing it to her nose to sniff it before smiling. “It’s blue like your eyes,” Jimin says rubbing the back of his neck as he looks down at the ground blushing. “And pretty. Just like you.”

Ashley cheeks flush a bright pink. “I love it. Orchids are my favorite. Thank you!” Ashley jumps forward, throwing her arms around Jimin, wrapping him in a hug. The moment her arms land on his shoulders, a big burst of energy shoots around them, sending all of you flying backwards across the yard while Jimin and Ashley stay standing in their original spot. You hear the potted plants on your back porch shatter, some of them being thrown into the double paned windows causing them to crack, the webbing spreading throughout the entire window. 

Jimin and Ashley look around them in shock, letting go of each other to go and check on their friends, Ashley running over to you and Yoongi while Jimin went to check on Jin and Tae.

“Oh my God, are you guys okay?” She asks you, her eyes wide as she helped you up from the ground. 

“I’m fine. What was that?” You ask, brushing yourself off as you look at your friends, everyone sharing the same confused and scared expression.

“What the hell happened out here?” The kids turn to look at your father who was standing on the porch with the rest of the parents. 

“We don’t know, sir,” Ashley said nervously, stepping forwards toward the group of adults. “I went to go thank Jimin for giving me this flower, but the moment I touched him, something happened and everything went flying.” 

The adults looked at one another, Jimin’s father finally stepping forward to call for his son. “Jimin, come here. Mr and Mrs Yang, I think we might need to have a talk with our kids,” he says looking at Ashley’s parents. They mutter words of agreement as Ashley’s father turns to her, waving her towards him.

“Sorry about the mess, Seojun. Please make sure to send me the damage cost. We will be more than happy to cover for the repairs,” Ashley’s father says to yours as Ashley walks up to them, following them and Jimin and his father into the house. Won-ho motions for his sons, letting them know it’s time to go. 

You turn to look at Yoongi who was looking at the porch. You follow his gaze and see your father glaring at you. 

“Girl, come here,” your father growls at you. Yoongi grabs your hand, walking with you across the yard towards your father. “Go inside, son,” your father says to Yoongi, still glaring at you. Yoongi doesn’t budge, causing your father to finally turn to him. “Now,” he says sternly.

Yoongi looks at you and you give him a small smile, letting him know it's okay. He gives your hand a little squeeze before letting go, walking inside the house and closing the door.

“Why were you not outside of the room, girl? I had not given you permission to leave.” Your father looks down at you, his eyes starting to turn red, the energy in the air starting to prick at your skin.

“I’m sorry, daddy. I couldn’t read their thoughts. They were thinking in Chinese. Ashley told me that her parents had planned on doing that before the meeting to keep me from being able to understand them.” Your father raises his eyebrows at your confession and you start to worry that you might have gotten your friend and her parents in trouble.

“She told you that?” Your father asked you, his eyes going back to their dark brown, almost black color. The air around you going back to normal.

“Yes sir,” you say back, not realizing that your shoulders had tensed up until you felt them relax in your father’s change of attitude. He looks down at you for a few minutes. You think about peeking into his mind to see what he was thinking, but didn’t want to be scolded for intruding into his mind. 

After a few more minutes of silence, your father finally spoke. “Starting this week, you and your brother will be taking lessons every Tuesday and Thursday to learn Chinese.” He turns around and walks back into the house, not giving you a chance to respond. You follow him inside, closing the door behind you. You walk towards the living room, finding it empty except for your brother. Everyone else must have already left.

“Are you okay?” He asks you as he walks beside you to the stairs that led up to your bedrooms.

“Yeah, I’m okay. He didn’t do anything. But we have to learn how to speak Chinese now,” you say to your brother as you make it to the top of the stairs, walking down the hallway to your bedrooms.

Yoongi let out a huff as he walked into his room and said, “Should have seen that one coming.” He gives you a wave before closing his door. You wave back, even though he couldn’t see and walk into your room, closing your own door behind you.

The rest of the weekend goes by quickly. Come Monday morning, your family driver pulls up to your school. You and Yoongi exit the car and start walking towards the entrance. You make it half way there when you hear someone call out your name. You and Yoongi turn around to see Ashley running up to you, the three of you continuing to walk into the school when she gets beside you.

Once you make it into the main hallway, Yoongi waves bye to you as he heads towards his locker by his friends. You look up to see Jin standing over by Taehyung and Jimin’s lockers as Yoongi makes it to his, opening it and shoving his school bag inside. You see Jin say something to Jimin, laughing as he pointed over to you and Ashley. Jimin hits him on the shoulder, blushing as he turns around and waves at you, smiling when he makes eye contact with Ashley. Ashley smiles back as she gives him a little wave. A giggle escapes her lips as Jimin turns towards Tae to smack the back of his head with his hand. The latter of whom was just puckering his lips and making kissy noises in Jimin’s ear. You hear Jin’s windshield wiper laugh as you walk away.

“So what did you parents say happened Saturday after you hugged him?” You ask Ashley as you made it pass the boys and to your lockers.

“Your dad didn’t tell you?” She looked at you as she opened her locker. You shook your head and started entering your code on the dial of the locker.

“They called it a pairing,” She said as she was pulling her notebooks out of her school bag and placing them in her locker. “It’s only something that happens to evolvers and it’s really rare. Apparently that burst of energy is what happens when paired evolvers touch for the first time. It’s kinda like finding your soulmate. My mom said that it means that Jimin and I were meant for each other.” Ashley blushed a little as she smiled, securing her school bag into her locker.

“Meant for each other, huh?” you thought to yourself as you looked back towards the boys, just in time to see Jin turn to leave to go to his class. Nothing like that happened the first time you and Jin touched when you were kids. You couldn’t help but feel a little sad. Ashley looked over at you and saw the sadness on your face as you turned back to look at your locker, opening it.

“Mom also said that not every evolver has a paired partner. Her and daddy aren’t paired, but she also said that it doesn’t mean that they weren’t meant for each other.” You knew Ashley was telling this to you to try and make you feel better and you gave her a smile, hoping she knew you meant it as a thank you.

“How was the rest of your weekend?” She asks as she closes her locker and leans up against it.

“It was okay,” you say as you emptied out your school bag into your locker, hanging it up on the hook inside and pulling out the books you need for your first class. “My dad is making me and Yoongi learn Chinese now. We’re going to have a tutor every Tuesday and Thursday.” You shut your locker. You and Ashley walk side by side into your first shared class of the day, taking seats next to each other in the back of the class.

“Oh, that’s exciting! I guess your dad really doesn’t like people keeping any secrets from him. If you need any help with it, just let me know, okay?” Ashley smiles at you as she opens up her spiral notebook to a blank page. 

“I wish I was excited about it,” you thought to yourself. You usually love learning new things, but when it comes to things your father wants you to learn, your excitement tends to fade. Only to be replaced with anxiety of the anticipation of what punishment your father has planned if you don’t progress as quickly as he wants you to. 

The school bell rings, signaling the start of class as an idea pops into your mind. You turn to Ashley, leaning towards her to whisper as the teacher addresses the classroom to start the day's lesson.

“Actually, I could use your help with something,” you whisper to Ashley. She looks up from her notebook and over at you.

“Sure, anything. What’s up? Is this about Jin?” She whispers back, giving you a sly smile.

You blush at her response. “No, it’s not about Jin. I want you to use your powers on me,” you whisper to her, glancing around you at the students, making sure no one was listening in.

“What? Why? Like, right now?” Ashley looks at you quizzically.

“No, not right now.” You giggle. The teacher paused her speech for a second to look at you, raising her index finger to her mouth, indicating for you to be quiet before continuing on. You give her a slight bow of your head in apology, making sure her eyes were off of you before turning back to Ashley.

Ashley looks at you curiously and you lower your voice again to a whisper. “Today, after school. And any other time that we can find. My dad… He likes to use his electricity as a form of punishment. I just… I want to build up a tolerance to pain. I don’t want him to be able to hurt me anymore.”

Ashley’s blue eyes widen for a second before going back to normal. Her mouth forming into a mischievous smile before responding to you. “I can definitely help you with that,” she whispers back. “It’s not going to be pleasant though. You’re going to have to trust me, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I already do.” You smile back at her before turning to pay attention to the teacher. A surge of confidence and happiness runs through your veins. You send up a silent thank you to whatever power brought Ashley into your life. You were happy to have a new friend. Especially one that will help you to no longer live in fear of your father.

[avionvadion]

I think I just realized how AWFUL two of my ex best friends were to me. I mean, I stopped talking to them after graduation, maybe even a while before that, but looking back on it- like, jeez.

(This rant is purely for my own emotional/mental health purposes, so feel free to ignore.)

When we first met it was middle school, and I had become kinda-friends with this dude who knew her in elementary and he had a crush on her. She was in my gym class, and I think it was the day where some jerk decided to ruin my gym uniform and she just kinda watched me and some other girls try to fix it before the teacher walked in. She was tying her shoes, she asked if I was friends with the one dude I mentioned before, and then the friendship started there.

Turns out she also had a crush on him, so giving both advice they eventually got together. Sounds nice, right? Later when either had a problem (personal or homework or whatever) I would do my best to help. I gave them advice, I lent them answers, I gave them some of the food I had packed for lunch or bought them chips from the cafeteria line.

Class trips: oh you don’t have the money? Here I’ll buy you that food, I’ll buy you that drink, I’ll buy you that souvenir. Oh, you don’t want to be roommates or you’ve already chosen to be roommates with someone else? Okay, that’s fine, I’m... sure I can find someone else.

(There was no one else because she was my only female friend and everybody else found me annoying)

What’s that! Panic attack? Okay, I’ll help you through it. Call me anytime, talk to me, I’m here.

It’s Valentine’s day! I made everybody who was nice to me and the three people I’m friends with cookies! Oh, I’ll hold the door for you. Wait- someone is being mean to you? HEY BUDDY BACK OFF. Oh. Someone is being mean to me... just stand there and watch I guess it’s fine.

Hey, here’s a hint that I’m not actually doing that well- oh. Okay. You don’t think I’m being serious. Right, I’m probably just being a little dramatic. I guess. It really wasn’t anything that significant...

Hey. Hey.

I’m having a panic attack so please text back right now I know you said you’re a lazy texter but I just had a really bad asthma attack and I’m really scared pls pls text back I know you’re always on your phone pls I’m not okay I’m not-

...

Oh. You never checked to see what I messaged you about. That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t anything serious. I’ll go ahead and delete/unsend it. Don’t bother. I’m totally over it.

...

Your boyfriend is threatening to burn all my anime drawings again. He’s taken my notebook and won’t give it back. He’s just joking?? I know he does it all the time, but...

I worked really hard on those. I don’t want them to be crumpled or ruined-

What? Oh, of course I like anime. You know that, you goofball. Wait, THAT show? What do you mean you know that not even I would like that show? ...N-No, no, of course I don’t. Th-That would be silly, I mean who WOULD like that show... right?

Even though I do...

...

Third wheeling. Walking behind you even though this was supposed to be a hang out with all three of us. Oh, you want me to walk farther behind you guys? Yeah, sure, got it. You’re a couple and couples like to be close.

How many times has this been? How much longer do I have to keep doing this?

I’m being insulted by your friends in clear view. Why aren’t you guys saying anything? Well, not like it bothers me. I know people don’t like me. Doesn’t stop them from trying to make me draw them self portraits though. I can handle it.

...

Do you even realize I exist?

...

Oh, another gym uniform is ruined. Another has gone missing. They stole my school binders and textbooks this time. More bullies. Her boyfriend took my notebook again.

No one noticed I had gotten separated from the group at all during the class trip. For people who often complain I’m too loud, they certainly don’t seem to notice when I’m quiet or missing either.

We don’t have classes together anymore. She’s hanging out with one of my step cousins now. You text her all the time. You text everyone all the time. You never text me at all, or respond. When I ask, you always say it’s because you’re a lazy texter. I know that’s a lie. You go back to your phone when I become silent.

You conveniently forget when we’re supposed to meet up so you can return a professional cartoon drawing I paid for. You don’t seem notice when I’m having a bad day and head to the bathroom during lunch to curl in a ball and cry. You don’t seem to notice anything outside of my smile and willingness to do anything you ask of me.

We’re roommates on another class trip again. I’m excited. You could care less. You dump more baggage on me that I stupidly listen to, worried about your well-being and hoping this trip will make us good friends again. If we ever were to begin with. You tell me that even if we don’t see each other in forever, you can always tell me things so easily because you KNOW I’ll listen.

But you don’t. You don’t listen.

You never take me seriously, and you say that it’s because you KNOW me. But you only know the me I show you- the me who tells jokes and laughs and talks about anime and not about the abuse or the fear and just how scared my asthma and lung condition makes me. Who’s clingy because she’s scared of being alone and hated and forgotten.

You just brush it off as dramatics.

And then you forget.

And then I’m dealing with bullies on my own again, it’s senior year, I’m somehow getting along with the delinquents because they find me small and cute and innocent and because we have classes together and I’m the one person that’s nice to them, but you STILL don’t care and I don’t even recognize you or him anymore because neither of you actually cared about me and only saw me as convenient.

You two were never there. You just pretended.

And now my lungs are so fucked up from genetics and asthma that I can’t even work my part-time job anymore and could barely even work when I did due to constantly collapsing and having to take breathing treatments during my breaks, and now I’m stuck at home, and my health just keeps getting worse and we don’t know why, and I’m this close to getting approved for disability that I hate that I even had to apply for because it just further drives in the feeling of uselessness that I have.

And I can never bring myself to talk to anyone about any personal issues because it feels like they’ll just be treated as insignificant and my emotions boiled down to nothing more than dramatics. Even when the people close to me now tell me that my emotions are valid.

Like- why’d I even bother. Why did I try to invest so much into those two when they just wanted a husk to vent at. To use. For him to taunt and bully and for her to burden and forget.

It really doesn’t make any god damn sense.

And I hate that I had this realization when I was taking a freaking shower earlier.