#(like in the video where he was like no i literally never doubted for a second i would make the majors 😂😭)

[headbandsandflats]

no YOU couldn’t sleep so you stayed up all night working and watching videos of harrison bader interviews

[r1elle]

a different type of affection | a. miya

throughout your relationship, there were times where atsumu had questioned your love for him.

your expressions seemed almost… ‘smaller’ than his. your words lacked the sweet sayings that his sentences would often have.

the way you’d glare at him whenever he did something annoying, (did you not find it funny? he only meant well..)

the amount of times you’d tell him to get off of you whenever he would be drenched with sweat after practices, (when all he wanted to do was hug you after a long day!)

or the fact that you get too hot when cuddling and eventually let go of him, (is it so much of a hassle to stay in his hold?)

but the more that atsumu stuck around, the more that he had noticed the details.

the quiet chuckle and relieved smile that you’d silently give after staring at him—indicating that whatever ridiculous thing he did was the first thing to leave a positive impression on your tiresome day.

the way that, even with the amount of times you’ve complained about him being ‘dirty’, you were always the first one to throw yourself onto his sweaty figure after every game, hugging him regardless of if he had won or not.

the light kiss that you’d plant on his forehead whenever you left his hold, purposely not putting too much pressure so as to not wake him—and how you’d slightly panic when he’d grumble to himself even just a little bit.

and if anyone were to tell him that there would be so much more realizations about you and your ways of showing love, he would’ve felt like less of an idiot in the long run.

so much things became clearer to him.

the way his baby picture was the main picture in your wallet.

the way your onigiri started to ‘coincidentally’ taste exactly how osamu’s did—just how atsumu liked it.

the way his favourite toothpaste suddenly became your toothpaste after he once commented how he didn’t like the taste of your old one.

the way how, when once passing by a room in your house, the sound effects of the video game he had excitedly introduced to you was suddenly being heard, despite the fact that you both had to stop playing the other day because of how bad you were.

and how you were oddly decent at it the next day when you told him you wanted to “try playing a second time”.

honestly? this wasn’t even the whole of it. not even close.

if there was ever something atsumu regretted within the course of your relationship, it was the fact that he was once in the belief that it was solely him ‘putting the effort’.

there was never a need to question your love.

not at all, not ever.

and atsumu made it an everyday vow to make sure you would never doubt, either.

— “i love you.”

“eh?”

“what? i love you.”

“that was random.”

“can’t i profess my love?”

“we’re quite literally in an insurance office…?”

“so?”

“…”

“i love you too.”

made this in honour of the fl’s whose display of love is never talked abt by the fandom bc the ml overshadows them 🙏🏽

guys are u tired of me making atsumu imagines yes or no (don’t say yes pleas)

I WANNA WRITE FOR A DIFFERENT CHARACTER SOON💔.. after exams guys trust.

[catssluvr]

dating nerdy/loser natalie scatorccio <3

⭑.ᐟ Straight up just obsessed with your existence, Nat’s blindly in love with you and would do anything to make you happy - probably loves you tons more than playing video games and that’s a compliment.

⭑.ᐟ Makes you watch all of her favorite movies, not so subtly looking over to catch your reactions to her favorite parts and also yapping about little details that no one else notices.

⭑.ᐟ Takes the gameboy she bought on second hand everywhere with her, pulling out in public whenever she’s on a line or even at school when she’s bored. She plays the games you find most interesting so you’re also entertained.

⭑.ᐟ Drags you to the arcade and makes you play the duo games with her, then plays the other ones while you sit close to her eating some snacks she got from a vending machine.

⭑.ᐟ Tank tops and pajama checkered pants are her go to outfit - not that you could ever complain. Also likes graphic tees with a long sleeved under them and sometimes the infamous leather jacket she wears just for you.

⭑.ᐟ Absolutely tears up whenever you give her flowers or anything of the sort, mostly just overwhelmed with how nice she thinks you are to her.

“Baby, are you crying?”

“What- no! I just had hot cheetos and they were extra spicy.” Meanwhile pouting with trembling lips.

⭑.ᐟ Talking of pouting, it’s probably Nat’s top one reaction to you being mad at her. She’d never make you feel anger towards her on purpose so most of all it makes her panic right there. Tries to solve it as quickly as possible because all she wants is to see your frown dissolve into a sweet smile so she can finally hug your bones out.

⭑.ᐟ Loves to sleep in and will not let go of you until she’s fully ready to get up, nuzzling into your neck and practically whining when you make move to take off the covers.

⭑.ᐟ The biggest cuddle bug and particularly adores being the little spoon. Have her lay her head on your chest while playing with her hair and she’ll be purring like a cat in seconds.

⭑.ᐟ Is an absolute tease who wants your attention 24/7, will pinch your cheeks and arms until you finally look at her.

⭑.ᐟ This girl gets the zoomies randomly, giggling about stupid things and jumping on top of you to tickle your life out and cover your pretty face in wet & very sloppy pecks.

⭑.ᐟ Never having to be scared of her cheating cause realistically she’s a big loser who can barely talk to a girl without stuttering and wears shirts that say ‘i love my gf’ every other day.

⭑.ᐟ Is so freaking clumsy, keeps on hitting her toes on wall corners and breaking cups because she trips on literal air. It’s all worth it for her though because she gets to have you as her personal nurse, putting a band aid over where she’s hurt before placing a kiss over it.

⭑.ᐟ Paints your nails while you tell her about the latest gossip going on, listening attentively and gasping dramatically when she thinks something is particularly shocking.

“He did what!? :0”

⭑.ᐟ Genuinely leaves hickeys on you sometimes without even noticing. She’ll be kissing your neck without any second intentions and before she can stop herself there will be a whole bruise on it.

⭑.ᐟ Has a lego collection with spaceships from star wars and some geeky video games. Gets sooo giddy when you buy her new ones and prepares a whole date night for you to build it with her.

⭑.ᐟ When you’re sitting together in class she draws silly doodles on your notebook, making very bad drawings of both of you holding hands with hearts around you.

“Look, that’s us :)”

⭑.ᐟ Sometimes gets a bit insecure and doesn’t understand what you see in her, it’s hard to believe you actually love her for who she is. But once you call her over when you’re with your friends in public and literally show her off she knows there was never a reason to doubt it.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠/ 𝙷𝚒𝚖

Your first year living with your favorite lads man and you get to spend the holidays together. How I imagine they act during this holiday season. [Requested by: 🌻 Anon]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘

He’s the boyfriend who stands behind you and guides your hands in whatever food you’re prepping

Still a workaholic up until Thanksgiving day, but will find time to help you cook

Suggests to make more desserts because he can’t control his sweet tooth

makes your plate for you “Eat well my love”

tries to start his meal with a slice of pie ; you have to take it and make him eat some actual food first “Desserts are for after the meal” “Desserts can be a meal” “No”

tidying up behind you so much that you don’t even get the chance to help clean up

would definitely do a video call with you to his parents to wish them happy holidays

if you take him home to your family your parents would fall in love with him immediately

ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤

wants all the holiday sweets and treats

the type of boyfriend who wants to take you to every bakery so you can eat their limited time only holiday sweets

he brings you hot chocolate with marshmallows and a splash of peppermint while you decorate the house

stands by holding the decorations for you

he would definitely still be working during this time but, he would spend every moment he could with you when he’s home

watches Christmas movies with you until you fall asleep and he carries you to bed

hides your gifts in his office at the hospital if you start getting nosy

all over you when you’re baking Christmas cookies, showering you in kisses, arms constantly wrapped around you and sneaking a cookie here and there when you’re not looking

Cozy morning w/ Christmas breakfast before you exchange gifts

ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤

Wants to give you that New Years kiss you’ve been talking about

takes you to a secluded rooftop patio where you can see the fireworks and share a kiss “Now we’ll last forever” “There was never a doubt in my mind”

if he’s working he rushes home just to give you that kiss at midnight

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘

100% a backseat chef while you’re cooking “You should probably turn the heat down” “Can you go paint or something?”

clingy af he would be all in your face while you’re trying to cook “Are you going to help or are you just gonna hang on me like a koala” “I am helping im here for moral support”

gets extremely competitive when your family pulls out any game “Im about to flip the table” “Please don’t”

Eats so elegantly your parents are wondering if you’re dating royalty (which you are)

ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤

Bought the biggest tree he can find “This is going to take weeks to decorate” “You should just stay here for the rest of the month then”

arts and crafts everything for decorations, he’s painting ornaments with you, anything you can find that you want as a decoration believe he will be making it for you/with you

complains about the cold like he hasn't experienced it before as you drag him to go ice skating or sledding “It’s too cold why is the sun out and i'm still freezing” “Maybe because thats how winter works Raf” “I hate it here”

wakes you up early as hell to open gifts, loves literally anything you buy him

Christmas movie nights w/ face masks, popcorn snacks, and matching pajamas

heavy on the matching pajamas, bought 12 pairs for 12 days of Christmas

ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤

watches the fireworks with you through the studio floor to ceiling windows wrapped in a blanket

doesn’t understand why you want a new years kiss so bad, but he’ll gladly do it of course

sips his champagne and pushes the cold liquid into your mouth as he kisses you now you shared a kiss and a drink right at midnight "I call that a two for one deal" "Stop talking"

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘

Fighting tooth and nail to keep his ass out the kitchen “Xavier I got it don’t worry” “I can just stir the yams” “No really it’s fine just go relax you had a long day”

You end up letting him slice the turkey and he ends up slicing through the whole damn pan “Why don’t you just set the table….” “Yes ma’am”

not a single leftover because this man ate everything

if you took him home to your family for Thanksgiving your parents are questioning if you starve him “He has a bottomless pit in his stomach” “No I don’t” “Lie again”

ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤

Cold snowy days you two aren’t leaving the bed, he’s curling around you and snoring softly into your boobs

helps you decorate the tree, but asks endless questions “Where do you want this one?” “Just put it anywhere Xav” “Is right here fine?” “Yes right there is fine” “What about this one?” he’s not trying to annoy you he just wants Christmas with you to be perfect

Cookie decorating together, no cooking so it should be safe

late nights ordering in and watching Christmas movies or reading some books that fit the Christmas aesthetic

ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤

watches fireworks with you from the balcony with warm eggnog topped with cinnamon

be prepared to stay up late after that midnight kiss because he’s not stopping, both sets of lips will get kissed

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘

Spending thanksgiving with him and the boy was like a mini family of it’s own

Luke and Kieran helped you prep and you made Sylus help as well “I need to slow cook these greens overnight so start removing the leaf from the stem please” “Are you telling me what to do?” “Yes …. I am …. is there a problem?”

Sylus constantly sends the twins and Mephisto back to the store so he has a reason to be alone with you while you’re cooking

constantly brings up how the chef should be doing this, but you insist that the whole point is to cook together "You know you can just send a menu to the chef" "No it's more home-y this way"

ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤

hands you his black card and takes you store to store telling you to have fun "I can buy anything I want?" "Anything"

takes you to a privately owned resort (He owns it) for a holiday Christmas trip, bringing Luke and Kieran along begrudgingly because you ‘didn’t want to leave your boys behind’

all those pictures and videos you sent him of fun stuff to do around the holidays he makes it happen

you wanna go snowboarding? he’s on it. Skiing? done. glass blowing Christmas ornaments? done.

Watches with the softest smile on his face as you and the twins decorate the big ass tree you picked out “Sylus I need you” “What is it Princess?” “Let me sit on your shoulders so I can get these ornaments on top of the tree” rolls his eyes, but puts you on his shoulders anyway

wraps you up in his arms and a blanket while you four have a Christmas movie night; carries you to bed when you fall asleep

watches Christmas musicals with you as well

living room is overflowing with gifts for you because this man bought you everything you’ve mentioned that you wanted for the past 3 months

his face may look annoyed when you drag him around from store to store and activity to activity, but he’s more than happy to do it as long as he’s with you

ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤

Argues with you until 11:59pm just to piss you off “How does good luck factor into this?” “Im not about to argue with you about this” “Too late sweetie you’ve been arguing with me for the last fifteen minutes” “Because you’re being so difficult do you not want-” he’d shut you up with a kiss right at midnight. “I guess this means we’ll last forever now huh?”

[temis-de-leon]

MC explains what a belly button is

Characters: gn!reader with an outie belly button :)

Main Masterlist

Anon request: So I'm requesting this out of pure curiosity, I hope this isn't uncomfortable or anything. I was just wondering if I could request MC having to explain what a belly button is due to them being created and not born so they have no idea what it is or what it's for. I'm okay if it's the brothers or newly dateables or both, if you don't do my request, it's alright. Thank you for reading anyway ❤️

.

I really like the characters not having “being born” related features, like belly buttons, but they are drawn with them each time they’re shown shirtless, so this is going to be a headcanon through a trough.

However, I have to remind you of the fact that Diavolo’s mother canonically died during childbirth, so demons are definitely born as well. Him having a belly button makes sense.

The brothers, however? They have no excuse.

So.

They’ve all seen naked humans before, either in real life or media (wink wink Levi is definitely a virgin), so they know we all have belly buttons, but they’ve never really stopped to think about what they mean anatomically and what their purpose could be.

And it isn’t until you stretch and the hem of your shirt rises that they pay attention to yours. Since it’s an outie, while not ugly, it certainly is much more interesting than any other type they’ve seen before.

They’re mainly worried about your well-being, and you know they aren’t shy at all once they start bombarding you with questions, especially Mammon, who already sees you as an extension of himself.

However, they’re even more insistent after your explanation.

What do you mean it’s because of the way the doctors cut your umbilical cord?

You went to the hospital? When? Why didn’t you say anything? Are you okay?

What’s an umbilical cord, anyway?

Laugh at them all you want, but they’re actually worried.

Satan may be familiar with the words, and Belphie may be familiar with the concept, given that he used to be so interested in humans back in the day, but I doubt they have more knowledge than the average 15th-century doctor.

So it’s now your turn to prepare a long-time-needed PowerPoint presentation (or its Devildom alternative).

You set a day and a place for the occasion and somehow, when the time finally comes, you find out that the residents from Purgatory Hall are also there, patiently waiting, seated amongst the brothers.

Did you really expect they wouldn’t be there? Except for Solomon, who’s only there to observe the spectacle, all of them are more than eager to learn everything you have to say about the matter.

It is a little weird because Luke is there, and there’s no way you’re going to explain the birds and the bees to a literal child, but all you have to do is skip the part of “creating the baby” and go straight to the pregnancy.

And what is a pregnancy if not an egg inside a woman?

Not really, but… yeah.

It’s an okay explanation for a bunch of demons. A satisfying one.

There’s the uterus, which you may or may not have, and it’s there to protect the baby while it grows. Inside it, there’s the placenta, a sack full of nutrients, connected to the baby by the umbilical cord.

Simple and easy to understand.

Right?

Wrong.

Because now you have Beel asking you if he can have a placenta for himself so he can be fed while he does other things.

And don’t even tell him some people actually eat their placenta because he might search for one just to try, and you don't want to know where he got that placenta.

The concept of birth may also be a little awkward to explain with Luke being right there, but all you have to say is that the woman pushes the egg out, and since the placenta is no longer necessary, the doctors cut the umbilical cord and the belly button is left behind.

Once the house is child-free again, though?

Search up that homemade birth video on the internet, MC. This is your turn to traumatize the brothers back.

.

.

Taglist: @ilovecandys2010 @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom @mia4gotcookiez

[the-moon-files]

I’m not sure if I’ve said this one already or not, but I wanted to tell you anyways! It’s about the humans-are-not-hylians AU!

You know the uncanny valley evolution? That thing where when you look at something that resembles a living being too closely and some part of your mind is screaming that it’s not whatever it looks like and to get away from it? Imagine that with the reader! They can spot shapeshifters easily because of this, but it instills the same extreme primal fear we’d experience, so it might be hard for the reader to confront them at first and they’ll instead just tell the Chain for a while.

This might be a double edged sword, though, because when Twilight is in his wolf form, the reader still gets that same feeling when “Wolfie” is looking at them, whether or not they know it’s Twilight. In this case, the first time the reader spots Wolfie approaching the camp, they probably freak out and try to avoid him, even if the Links are okay with him or if he seems familiar to them.

The bottom line is that wolf isn’t a wolf, so what is he?

“It’s okay, he’s a really friendly wolf!”

“...That’s not a wolf...”

Sorry i took forever to respond!! im slow as always, life is too busy for even my hobbies lately sobs 😭

bro this is especially true bc someone looked back at TP games and how he looks in his “wolf” form, and apparently he is actually a dog lol - like at most a wolf-hybrid, i added this in to support this Hyrule-is-hella-Uncanny AU lol

Moon: Guide! - Gender Neutral/Masc!Reader (”you”/he/him)

Orbit: Short headcanons

Stars: mentions of most of our Links <3

Comets & Meteors: CWs: typical LU/Loz violence, mild swearing, etc & TWs: mild possible derealization trigger, talk of Link’s Awakening and Koholint.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

The Yiga clan members have never fooled you, not Once in person, unlike back when hyrule was still a video game

it was the constant smell of bananas, the way their eyes were always a little unfocused or they moved their head to move around their eyes, rather than their actual pupils moving, the facial muscles all stiff, usually stuck in an uncomfortable smile-

it makes more sense once u realize that they technically have a mask under that glamour hylian face, but its never not hilarious to see Wild look over his shoulder at you before approaching a lone traveler on the roads and watch him get increasingly frantic to get ur attention to see if theyre yiga lmao

u bet ur ass every link was relying on you on their adventures to know shapeshifters/illusions/glamours/etc. on sight and tell them to better prep them/warn them

tbh they all got at least a little better at being able to tell the difference the longer they heard you point out stuff/talk abt exactly why it was off-putting

(that said some of ur heroes are better at it than others, both in general, and certain aspects of it: like Twilight isn’t able to pick up illusions/glamours for the life of him, literally, sometimes, but he is more likely to figure out shapeshifters by scent after you Guided him)

(no, your heart didnt crack a little after learning that the boys had a harder time with deceit after you stopped playing the game = “were forced to leave after their adventure” bc while they were better at detecting it, they werent on ur human level yet..)

(…the only deception you ever really fell for was Koholint. It was so painful too, because Legend quietly disclosed to you one late night that you would constantly get strange feelings/uncanny disturbances, but were never able to put a name to it for him, which both made you jumpy/paranoid on the island, but made him regret ever letting his guard down all the more or feel guilty for what felt like dismissing ur instincts the more he relaxed… Legend never doubted your sense for the uncanny ever again. He takes it seriously every time now.

When you feel as if you should apologize, he tells u not to, that these days he takes comfort in it actually, it makes him feel safer. Legend looks to your face for confirmation that something isn’t a dream, and if you look at ease, so is he.)

its the way you casually laugh at Twi being called “Wolfie” when he’s obviously a wolf-dog hybrid or just a big dog

and when everyones confused u just explain smth smth, wolf heads are larger in comparison to their body, their legs are narrow, their paws are big, dogs are like the oppposite, or way more proportional like “Wolfie” is, dogs bob around when they run like “wolfie”, and have shorter legs,

smth smth wolves cant have eye colors like blue, only dogs/wolf-dog hybrids can silly-

and Wolfie is just like, 😐 😑 😐

turning around and walking away, bc hylias knotted fucking braid- he really cant escape the dog accusations now, you literally used ur freaky truth-seeing instinct and read his shapeshifter ass from head to literal toe/paw-

Wild/Hyrule look fascinated, Wind and Legend cant breath theyre laughing so hard, Time is coughing suspiciously into his fist and pops back up smirking, Four is laughing but also encouraging you to keep going, Sky is desperately trying to keep it together while also trying to get Twi to come back lmao, Wars is literally pointing and laughing ashkljdl-

ok but Twi gets his revenge later by tricking you into yapping abt how Hyrule/Four/Time all kind of look “off” sometimes too

like how u swear Rulie is glowing subtly when the moon is full, or how the world distorts behind his back sometimes,

or how Four’s eyes change colors all the time, his fighting style looks like its rotating between 4 diff ppl’s techniques,

or how Time’s face wrinkles like smile lines/crows feet at the corner of his eyes will randomly appear and disappear, how he’ll have some stubble one day then 3 days later despite having not shaven (u literally saw him wake up and do his morning routine) it’ll disappear like it was never there in the first place-

and when Twi has stopped asking you abt the others as they all reel over the knowledge of what all u can tell abt them,

(ur quietly relieved no one asked abt Wild.

You resolve urself to just lie if anyone asks, even to Wild himself.)

☆

hey im alive!! im slow yknow how it is,

ive been doing too much, and i cant wait to be done with this class so i can have free time guilt free again 🥲

god thats one good thing abt getting out of academia i dont miss and would only wish on my worst enemy,

the anxiety of doing smth, even necessary stuff like eating/sleeping/showering, and feeling liek you should be doing homework instead, god its so awful

cant wait to feel like an adult with my own life again lmao

that certification better work and get me a white collar job goddamit 🤞

anyway, hope ur all having a good weekend,

and just to let u know, im so happy acc that im alive to see the first zelda game that actually follows what i originally thought the plot of zelda games was when i was a kid lmao

(zelda as the protag, saving link!!)

Peace out,

🌙

[adalindofcabinsix]

that kind of love never dies (I)

summary: the one where barbara thinks about an act of rebellion.

pairing: jake x mc

word count: 1.3K

warnings: tkolnd takes place after the events of episode 10; cover images found on pinterest; english is not my first language.

author’s note: even though she lives in the usa, my main character, barbara, is brazilian. i added terms and expressions that we use in our country, as well as cultural elements, to this fanfic. the words that appear in portuguese are highlighted and you can contact me if you have any questions.

masterlist

Barbara was sprawled out on the dorm carpet, reading a Lucy Maud Montgomery novel she found by chance in the university library, when her cell phone began vibrating on the nightstand. Without wasting time, she closed the book and got up, waiting to hear from her roommate, Meera, but, when Barbara swiped her finger across the lock screen, she found some text messages from an unknown number.

i would like to invite you again to eat something at that chinese restaurant

if you want to meet me, just show up there tomorrow

i'll be waiting for you :)

Her head started to throb just at the possibility of it being who she was imagining, but she quickly pushed the thought away.

Jake wouldn't put himself in danger like that.

After everything that happened in Grimrock, Duskwood's chief of police, Alan Bloomgate, personally went after her to conduct the interrogation, and, more than once, made it very clear that it was best for her to stay away from her new friends for a while. He didn't go into detail when he told her about what happened at the Ironsplinter Mine, but he confirmed that Richy was alive — despite having some serious injuries — and that Jake had fled from the FBI agents during the confusion caused by the explosion.

All the messages she sent and received during that time became evidence. Barbara had what it took to close Hannah Donfort's case literally in the palm of her hand, including the kidnapper's confession.

Consequently, she also had the means that could lead the people who were after Jake straight to him.

She was interrogated by the FBI countless times for months, until Alan decided to intervene and convinced her to hand over her cell phone to them in exchange for her old life. Since then, Barbara has not been part of the joint investigation. Or at least that's what they say — she's too smart to really believe that.

For a few seconds, she considered the chance that it was someone trying to play a trick on her. The video Lilly Donfort posted accusing her of kidnapping had gone viral across the Columbia University campus. Even her grandmother, who lived in the interior of Brazil, found out about her involvement with a hacker wanted by the North American government. However, no one else knew about the brief conversation they had about the chinese restaurant.

Except, of course, the FBI.

Without a doubt, it was a trap. Barbara felt her face turn red. It seemed that solving an old international murder case, giving up her privacy, being forced to abandon her group of friends and possibly cheating on the guy she was in love with was not enough. She also needed to act as bait when it was convenient.

Barbara huffed, irritated. Little did they know that Jake had no contact. Their partnership in crime had ended almost a year ago.

Still, there was no reason to decline the invitation. She could very well take advantage of the opportunity to tell some truths to those nosy agents, and as a bonus she would have an excuse to go to Germany without Alan being able to question her too openly.

Her lips lifted into a smile as the plan emerged in her mind.

After going through customs at Zurich Airport, picking up luggage and going to an exchange office to exchange some notes, only an hour and fifteen minutes by car separated Barbara from Duskwood. Luckily, there were several yellow taxis forming a line next to the sidewalk, because it would be a nightmare to have to deal with someone trying to compete for the same vehicle as her.

She walked out of the lounge, pulling her hot pink rolling suitcase, and turned on her smartphone to announce on the family's group chat that she had arrived safely. But before she could check her contact list to see if her parents were online, she collided with a young man's broad chest.

She jumped away from him, apologizing — or at least trying to — in german. He laughed softly, grabbing her arm to stop her from tripping over herself, and for a moment, Barbara forgot to even breathe. The young man seemed to be a few years older than her, he was tall, had dark hair and prominent round eyes that resembled the curve of a teardrop, he was wearing a white sweatshirt with a hood and black jeans.

“I'm sorry, I didn't see you.” He spoke in english, with a slight accent.

“No problem, it was my fault.” Barbara quickly straightened up, realizing that she had somehow stared too long.

The young man analyzed her from head to toe with amusement before bending down and picking up the cell phone that had flown out of her hand during the impact.

“I believe this is yours.” He joked, handing the device to her.

“Thank you.”

He nodded curtly and turned, making his way through the travelers entering and exiting the airport, as silent as a wraith.

She was inexplicably disappointed to see him leave, however she had more important things to deal with. Then, she handed the luggage to the driver to put in the trunk and got into the taxi, giving the address of the Gates Hotel, on the outskirts of Duskwood.

Barbara ran across the room, feeling the cold floor beneath her feet. She was considerably late, but as far as she remembered, she had never arrived on time to participate in the interrogations, so whoever was waiting for her at the restaurant wouldn't mind too much. She put on a black strapless dress, put on her highest heels and curled her wet hair with her fingers, leaving a small trail of water on the floor.

Through an opening in the peach curtains, she noticed that the rain had picked up outside, beating violently against the window pane. She cursed under her breath, hoping someone at the front desk could lend her an umbrella, and before Barbara could procrastinate her meeting with the FBI Special Agent any further, she took one last look at the floor mirror near the entrance hall, realizing that she was dressed for revenge.

“Someone would definitely approve of that.”

Smiling to herself, she went down a small flight of stairs to the ground floor, where the girl at the reception was reading a magazine with Nicholas Galitzine's photo on the cover.

“How can I help you?” She asked in english, without taking her eyes off the celebrity gossip.

“Hey, how you doin'? Could you lend me an umbrella, please?”

“Of course.” She said, reaching for the object under the counter and handing it to her. “A fee of two euros will be added to your room bill.” Barbara sighed, surprised, as she mentally converted the currency. “What?” The receptionist looked up, frowning. “Did you think it would be free?”

“No, obviously not.” Barbara lied, smiling politely.

“Return it by midnight or I will have to charge the full value of the item.” The girl announced, turning her attention to the magazine. Then she added: “Nice dress.”

“Okay, I'll pay when I check out.” She assured, walking towards the glass doors while opening her rented umbrella. “And thank you.”

“Have fun, Cinderella!”

Barbara regretted walking out the door as soon as she set foot on the sidewalk. Not just because of the rain, but because of the wind blowing your hair back. In any case, she had come too far to give up, and despite the storm, she could see the lights of the chinese restaurant through the blue haze a few meters ahead, on the other side of the street.

Before she could take another step, someone grabbed her arm and turned her around.

“What?” She blinked in amazement at the handsome young man she had met at the airport.

“Come with me.” He said, pulling her away from the hotel entrance.

“You are crazy? I do not know you!” Barbara shouted, dropping the umbrella near her feet. The rain completely drenched them both in moments. “Me solta!”

“Barbara, please.” He asked, breathing short.

The sadness in his voice stopped her struggling.

“How do you…?” She gasped, eyes wide. “Jake?”

taglist: @daniiiworlds; @labemquarts; @deinily

[riddlerthethievingwarlock]

I don’t think I’ll ever get over just how little content there is on Ezekiel Jones. Like- I understand there’s just not a whole lot of Librarians content in general, but this man (mind you, he’s 24 at the oldest in the first season) is supposed to be the World’s Greatest Thief (who had a short stint at MI6 that is never expanded on), and all y’all are just brushing over that!? Oh, and he’s mysteriously immune to random magical artifacts, curses, and acts of retribution from gods when no one else is, as well as being able to handle Zeus’ lightning bolt with surprising ease. Also, his name means “strength of God.” There’s so much more proof I could list, and I know litmasonedits made a whole video essay on it (bless them) on YouTube, but what I’m trying to say is that there is a HUGE possibility Ezekiel is a demigod.

And don’t even get me started on the way this fandom dismisses his IQ level. They were all viable Librarian candidates because they were geniuses! He was first called to the Library when he was at most 14, and I doubt “being good at finding things” was the Library’s only motivation for inviting a literal child to be interviewed when most of its candidates were renowned scientists, inventors, historians, etc. He has entire museum floor plans and inventories memorized, is the resident hacker, and straight up makes his own little gadgets for fun. Remember the casino episode? Where he says, “Machines are my thing,” and then rigs all of them so that every play is a win?

The episode “And the Christmas Thief” is also a point of contention for me, but with Canon itself. What do you mean he used to be homeless???? Before he was adopted into a family of petty thieves, that is. But for how long? If he was “taken off the streets,” he was old enough to competently escape CPS for at least a short time. Australia could only provide him with so much popularity and opportunities to improve his trade, so, given what we know of just how active and passionate he was about stealing, he wasn’t exactly a legal adult when he left. Y’know, seeing as he would need time to become the world’s greatest thief and a very proficient engineer and hacker. And the bank for thieves and shit. A human being got liquidated via overpowered laser for not repaying his debts, and the other Librarians were (understandably) utterly horrified, but Ezekiel just went :|

Tell me, what does that say about him as a person?

Anywho, the events of that episode are never revisited.

[slut4thebroken]

Headcanons for what kind of porn/erotic content Cillian's characters enjoy? I'm particularly interested in Tommy, Crane, and Neil.

(Cillian Murphy, Emmett, Jackson Rippner, Jonathan Crane, Lenny Miller, Neil Lewis, Raymond Leon, Robert Capa, Robert Fischer, Tommy Shelby)

18+ minors go away 🤺 non con/dark content

Cillian Murphy - Vanilla 😔🤚(if he even watches it at all… Like, yall can’t convince me that that man actually watches porn lol)

Emmett - (pre apocalypse) Doesn’t have a whole lot of time for masturbating nowadays but every once in a while when he’s alone he likes watching some age gap stuff, probably anal, but definitely cunnilingus. Lesbian stuff is probably his favorite— especially a young woman eating another woman’s cunt though.

Jackson Rippner - Dark dark dark dark dark. Probably a lot of misogyny, female domination/humiliation, slave/master stuff, hardcore punishments, non con, painal, etc. The worst part though is that he definitely isn’t the kind of guy who watches that purely for fantasy reasons. Like he 100% would do all of that if given the chance and probably has done some of it.

Jonathan Crane - If anyone checked this man’s search history… the cops would be called immediately. Like he probably watches dark porn on sketchy websites that make it really hard to tell if the video is just a skit or actually real (it’s probably real)… Specific categories though: fear play (obviously) and probably like medical torture shit.

Lenny Miller - Honestly?…… probably like.. law enforcement roleplay shit. Or those videos where the girl attempts to steal something and the security guy says he won’t have her arrested if she fucks him lol. But if we’re being more broad: power play stuff, lots of tit fucking, and anal. Also daddy kink.

Neil Lewis - I don’t think he really has a specific niche thing that he watches. Like as long as the girl has tits I feel like he’ll pretty much always be satisfied with it. He never really watches hard core dom/sub videos, but sometimes he’ll accidentally come across a female dominant video. That was how he learned he’s a switch lol. (Also he’ll sometimes come across a really weird fetish and get grossed out at first, but not stop watching and eventually realize he’s into it lol.)

Raymond Leon - Power imbalance, daddy kink, age gap (I’m maybe projecting lol). If he ever has time to watch porn though, I don’t think he’s really taking his time and watching a bunch of stuff. He probably finds something that makes him come pretty quickly and then just watches that a lot before finding a new one. I also doubt he’s into those like 30+ minute long videos that have an entire plot (it’s just a waste of time lol).

Robert Capa - Misogyny lol. He also seems like he likes face fucking a lot for some reason. (Idk why I’m having such a hard time with this one lol) He probably prefers “homemade” stuff rather than stuff made on an actual set. And also stealth recording for some reason. Like those videos where the guy is filming while hitting it from the back, but not using the flash so it’s not obvious whether the woman actually knows or not.

Robert Fischer - If anyone asks him… his answer is always the same: just the normal kind of porn. Which is sometimes true. But his search history is mostly findom, dominatrix, and male humiliation. Sometimes he’ll even listen to f4m erotic audios and get off with a pretty voice in his ear praising him (but also degrading and humiliating him lol) and telling him how to touch himself and when (if) he’s allowed to come.

Tommy Shelby - I don’t know I kinda feel like he rarely ever masturbates because he can literally fuck whoever he wants so he doesn’t really consume very much erotic content… Like if he just wants to get off really quick at work or something I feel like he’d lowkey just use his imagination.

[thedexcat]

ENA:DBBQ Speculation Megapost

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD Hyperfixation waxes and wanes over the ocean of interpretive works, and I once again find myself on the shores of a new captivation. Now, I'm not the type to listen to other's interpretations of things before forming my own thoughts. Perhaps this will be retreading old ground, perhaps there will be fresh takes. I just want to commit my thoughts to writing before I slide down the slippery slope of feature-length lore videos and whatnot.

So, where to begin on the subject of ENA: Dream BBQ Chapter 1? I think a good starting point would be...

1: The Title Character Herselves, ENA

Right from the very first trailer, we could all tell: This ENA is different from the one we know from the webseries. Some say that this is a different ENA from before. Others suggest that perhaps something changed her. Maybe it's something in between. For the purposes of this post, I will be referring to this ENA as being her own individual, with no connection to the previous ENA until proven otherwise. The ENA of Dream BBQ will be simply be referred to as ENA. The ENA of the webseries will be referred to as "Ur-ENA"

So, we have a salesperson with a bit of a short temper. But as we experience the world through her eyes, there are some questions that come to mind. The first of which is, "What is her job anyway?" Well, right off the bat, there's some troubling implications. She appears to be after a "Boss", who has gone into hiding, and whom ENA and Froggy refer to as their "Target". The obvious interpretation is that ENA is a contract killer of some sort. But... there is room for doubt.

It was Froggy who first refers to The Boss as a "Work Target", very specifically using English words, that "wacky language" as he calls it. He may have coined this phrase without necessarily knowing the connotations of referring to a person as a "Target". This is brought up by Theodora the Genie, who asks ENA, "Do you even know the ingredients of that word salad?"

But, for reasons we'll get into later, it wouldn't be particularly surprising to anyone if ENA was hired to kill someone. Not after the incident.

CHEESE AND RICE, ENA

As you talk to more and more people in the game, it becomes clear that this ENA is universally despised. Even a lot of the more agreeable characters tend to have some hint of resentment in their words when speaking to her.

This brings us to what appears to be the underlying theme of Dream BBQ: Sin and Forgiveness. ENA has evidentially committed some unspeakable act in the past, some great Sin that has made her known throughout all the worlds. As to the severity of this Sin? We get a hint when ENA first lays eyes on the Bathroom, a place that has been referred to as somewhere where Sins are absolved and Truth is revealed (seriously, two of the stalls have a damn confessional window between them).

"A giant bathroom? Uggh... It's not enough for this many bodies. I hate myself."

This seems to be heavily implying that ENA was apparently responsible for a horrific massacre that occurred in the past. An act beyond any hope of redemption, hammered home by the conversation with Theodora if you actually make it to the Bathroom.

When first speaking to Theodora, she mistakenly forgives ENA's Sins briefly, which immediately mends the gaping wound in her body. Whatever is going on with Human(?) ENA, it seems clear that the wound is representative of guilt rather than a literal physical injury. Ultimately, Theodora offers to fulfill one of ENA's Asperations, and you're presented with the only dialogue options offered in the current version of the game. You're given a list of choices, but you quickly learn that desires are never fulfilled, nor quenched. Any option that would immediately bring ENA peace is doomed to fail for one reason or another.

Like the rest of them... Like the rest of them... A blissful life? No, that aspiration is beyond what ENA is capable of herself, and cannot be granted.

Eternal happiness? No, the natural order of things cannot be changed.

Frank's forgiveness? Refuted outright, in a way that implicitly says "You know perfectly well why you cannot have that." Punishing the Moon? No, the only one that deserves to be punished for being born is ENA herself. All that ENA can aspire to is to perform the task that she has been given. Nothing more. You leave with more questions than you entered with.

Despite all this, ENA carries on with an unwavering faith in G0D and destiny. Several of her interactions bring up matters of faith in a way that seems to... agitate people. Perhaps they see her penitent ways as a means to evade the consequences of her past actions. Perhaps they may even be right. Regardless, ENA seems to find comfort in the idea of an inevitable fate outside of her control.

(And now for the super speculative part that has me going off of 'vibes' more than anything concrete.) As for her Sin, well, my personal interpretation is that the Incident occurred due to ENA being negligent rather than malicious. I could be way off, but the intense weight of her guilt feels like it comes from a 'personal failure', a mindset reflected in her extremely adamant work ethic.

When attending the Purge Event, even though it's for the sake of reaching the Bathroom, she seems completely devastated by the thought that she is on some level slacking off while on the job.

Her limbs get tangled in gnarled branches emerging from her heart. In these moments, she is fighting against herself. Are the branches restraining her from performing her duties, representing her intrusive desire to lose her worries in the vore disco Purge Event? Or are the branches the opposite, her sense of responsibility unnaturally forcing her not to partake in any of the frivolity?

Honestly, it's too soon to tell exactly. Regardless of the specifics, my personal takeaway is that her work ethic probably stems from some disaster that she could have averted if she were more dutiful. Yet she is still at odds with herself, perhaps yearning to live her life in the carefree way that she (probably) used to. Anyway. That's my analysis/interpretation of ENA herself. But I'm not done with this post yet. We've barely touched the subject of...

2- The Genies of the Doors

Beyond each Door lies a land governed by a Genie. In keeping with the 'digital' theming of the series, I've taken to calling each land beyond a Door a "Domain".

Beyond the Lonely Door is the Domain of the recluse Theodora.

Beyond the Crowd Door is Domain of the deviant Pierro.

And lastly, beyond the Horse Door lies the Domain of a fresh corpse.

Therein lies an interesting issue: Genies, while powerful granters of desires, can be killed. Not only that, but one person you can question at the start of the game has this to say: "No Pierro the Genie, no town." This implies that their existence somehow reshapes the world around them, fitting for such powerful entities. So... what does that imply about a Genie getting killed? The game branches twice in the first chapter. The first branching moment is whether to go to the Purge Event or to complete all the sidequests to unlock the Humanboard and ascend to the orb in the sky. These two branches end up leading to the same destination, the nexus outside the Bathroom. Here, the game branches a second time...

If you fail to cross the river (or interact with the puking guy on the other side. fuck that guy he made me do even more runs.) you end up taking a roundabout path to your destination, and you ultimately find that Theodora, the Genie of the Lonely Door, has died at the bottom of what seems to be a well.

But hang on... If you successfully cross the river and go directly to the Bathroom, Theodora is alive and well! In the well! So what gives?

Well, after your meeting with her in either branch, the world begins to change. Places begin to lose their definition, becoming either distorted or changing into pure white geometry. Landmarks become clipart drifting in the air. Real estate investors swoop in on the newly freed up land. The Domain of Theodora is no more, and the Lonely Door is closing.

Many of the people are gone, replaced by familiar strangers.

...I would like to take this moment to point out that the main theme song of the game, Anemoia, is a word meaning "Nostalgia for a time or place that one has never known."

Anyway, this inevitable loss of identity seems to imply that no matter which route you take, Theodora dies. Whether you're too early or too late, ENA doesn't find out who or what killed the genie. Between this and the murder of the unnamed third genie, there is some malicious entity just barely out of sight, slaying genies for unknown reasons. When considering what this could mean for the story down the line, I recall a certain line spoken by a certain goblin of a girl.

"Rude entities like you get punished for the sins of others." Someone is maliciously reshaping the world. And if these acts are as disastrous as they seem, then ENA is in a prime position to take the fall in their stead. She's already known to have caused some kind of calamity, and she's attempting to seek audience with the genies as they're actively being killed off. Should we meet with Pierro in a later installment, I imagine that things will take a swift downturn from there. It's a shame we don't know anything about the third genie...

...or do we? *Vsauce theme*

3- The Shadow of Ur-ENA

The connections between Dream BBQ and the webseries are few and nebulous... but they are there if you look in the right places. The Extinction Party is mentioned by one of the taxi driver's heads, and the location of that episode can be briefly spotted behind one of the doors of the Purge Event. The Domain beyond the Lonely Door starts morphing into the setting of Auction Day. But there's one point of connection that's been nagging at me... and it's pretty obtuse 🐬

Dialing a hidden phone number, we're met with Phindoll....'s answering machine. The message explains that he's looking for some kind of employment. Perhaps he suddenly lost his job? Who was he working for back when we saw him last? ...Oh, yeah. Runas. That wish-granting entity... on the other side of a... Door... ... The Great Runas might be fucking dead, guys.

We've now seen implications that this game takes place before Auction Day... but after Temptation Stairway. If linear causality has any role in this story, it's as a horrified onlooker.

Of course, this can be reconciled if Runas turns out to be the new genie that replaces the murdered one. But dialogue early in the game suggests that temporal shenanigans may be afoot. After all, the low-poly lady at the desk claims...

"You are too late! The Boss isn't even born yet!"

She's... a very blunt, straightforward person. None of her other lines are nearly as ambiguous and confusing as this one, so I'm inclined to take this line at face value. We are in no position to be making assumptions about how concepts like time even work in this setting. So what does this all mean? ... ... I dunno. We only have chapter 1 to work off of, after all.

But if Runas was in fact the murdered Genie, then there is one suspect in particular that pops into my mind. Someone who has met Runas. Someone who was... unimpressed. Dissatisfied. And found herself trapped inside his domain for a long, long time.

That's all for now. There's some glaring points in the story that I simply didn't have enough insight on to really remark upon. (Was that the Holy Code in the ending cutscene? What does ENA's body-hopping power entail? What was with the other ENA in the sewers, and who was she talking to?) Also at this point, my fingers are snapping in half from typing out all of these thoughts. A lot of this was just my personal interpretation, so don't be surprised if it clashes with the analysis of other people. In all likelihood, when the future chapters come out, I'll look back at this post and laugh at how dumb I was.

[sossolei]

my experience shifting to haikyuu/anime reality °‧🏐⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

DISCLAIMERS ! I only stayed here for a couple hours, everyone spoke English, I didn’t script anything because I shifted by accident, k that’s all. ANTI SHIFTERS DNI ! ! !

The first question anyone asks when you’ve shifted to an anime is “what did it look like” and in my personal experience, they just looked like regular Japanese teenagers I fear lmfaoo. I’ve seen posts about this one artist on Instagram who does like 3D renders of anime characters but that’s def not what everyone looked like when I shifted. Everything was just natural, it was regular Japan, with regular students, with regular unnatural natural hair. Everyone’s hair was natural unless it’s obvious that they dyed it, even Hinata’s!

I shifted during the camp arc? I don’t actually remember what it’s called here but that one weekend where some of the volleyball schools got together and trained together. I woke up on the Karasuno bus when were like 15 minutes away and was completely mortified cause I was drooling on Kiyoko’s shoulder while I was sleeping (sorry queen). She didn’t mind but…ugh. Anyways! I was definitely freaked out for a goooood five minutes but I just kept gripping the bus seats and looking out the window to “ground myself” or whatever.

Once it did register that this was all real, I kept doubting myself and then realizing that if this wasn’t real, or if it was a dream then I wouldn’t be able to see my feet or my hands, I wouldn’t be able to feel every bump the bus made or even accurately conjure up what Japan looks like considered I have never been there before. It was definitely weird at first but Kiyoko was very chill and didn’t question me lowkey losing my mind. She offered me some Japanese cookies and just listened to music for the whole ride.

Meeting everyone was the most confusing part emotionally because on one hand, I’ve already been going to school at Karasuno for months now and I’ve met these boys already once I joined the team but in o.r I had fallen asleep watching these people on a screen so it was trippy asf seeing everyone in the 3D.

The first people I spoke to besides Kiyoko, was Tanaka and Nishinoya cause they asked for cookies too and then Hinata butted in and it became this whole little fight oh god. Hinata sat a little ways away from me but he still tried to have a conversation with me which I lowkey appreciated cause it felt like a way to get out of my own head about shifting and just enjoy the moment.

Appearance wise, it’s like I said, everyone just looked like regular Japanese students, but the younger students definitely still have their baby fat. Hinata, yamaguchi, and even kageyama had slightly chubby cheeks and just look very young in the face. Tsukishima looks just slightly older but I definitely attribute that to his height. If you know any tall high school boys, you’ll know what I mean, he just has a baby face in a tall body. Also! Asahi is not as scary as they make him seem in the anime😭 he just has facial hair at a young age so people think he looks a lot older but he is not scary. To me at least, he looks a lil racially ambiguous cause of his tanner skin and his overall build is just bigger than most Japanese men, but I think he’s 100% Japanese.

Okay so during this time I was missing my Haikyuu phase when I was completely obsessed with Kenma, whole time y’all…. I barely even spoke to him that entire day LMAOOOOOOiwassadOOOOO! No but fr, I tried talking to him a couple times and he literally was just like this 🧍I kid you not. Kuroo spoke up for him sometimes but my little 2020 heart was so devastated guys. He was either always on that damn video game or focused on volleyball. I think he only spoke to me first one time to ask if I knew when we were getting food, and I BURNT THE BACON. I just stuttered a “I don’t know, you can ask coach” and he was like “ok thanks” and walked away. Oh my god I’m embarrassed again just thinking about it pls. Tsukishima was getting something from the vending machine when this happened and when I tell you he would not let me live it down! He stood up from getting a drink, pointed, and LAUGHED??!??!!! WOW, I’m done talking about this I’m getting embarrassed all over again LMFAOO

Honestly? It was kind of boring after a while. I mean yeah I was freaked out over meeting everyone from the other schools but I was lowkey just the water girl so I kinda just stuck by coach and Kiyoko the whole time. I looked through my camera roll to try to understand the reality more ( considering this was an accident ) and I mainly saw pictures of Hinata and Nishinoya stealing my phone, my cat, homework, and general scenery. And then in my text messages I had a group chat with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima that I definitely started, I have no doubt about that, and we’re closer friends than the others on the team I’m pretty sure we went to the same middle school. There was no TikTok or instagram on my phone, I think there’s a Japanese version of instagram and I was using that instead. I did have Pinterest tho!

Uhhh idk what else to add. I remember being absolutely STUNNED by Akaashi tho, he’s genuinely the definition of a pretty boy. The best comparison in my mind is like Sunghoon from Enhypen but they don’t look alike, they just have a similar aura. Kuroo was very nice and very tall, Daichi is very fatherly but Suga moreso, I now he’s considered the “mom” in this reality but their dynamic with the team is more like good cop and bad cop. Daichi is always good cop but Suga can flip in an instant when it’s time to lock tf in. I did accidentally teach Nishinoya, Tanaka and Hinata about “lock in” and “locking in” and they were just starting to get annoying with it before I shifted back so…sorry to the rest of the team!

Honestly, it was kinda humid that day and I had to keep getting up and down to help with things so as time went by, the fun started to wear off and I started getting really annoyed😭 I shifted back because towards the end of the day, I was just picking up a bunch of miscellaneous balls that were thrown around the court and somebody deadass SPIKED a ball that almost hit me in the fucking head, I screamed. I did. After that I dropped all the volleyball in the bin, sat on the floor with my head in my hands trying to figure out how the fuck to shift back?? So I just closed my eyes, repeated “i need to go back original reality” a couple times and woke up again here.

If I didn’t answer something you want to know, message me anyway you want whether that be a comment or a pm or the “ask me anything” thing, I will try to answer to the best of my ability! Just remember that just because I’ve shifted doesn’t mean I’m like the know it all, Albert Einstein of this, I’m still learning as I go so..yeah! BYE!

[botchedsundoll]

very nice way of writing, I would like to make a request for a writing where the RE guys react when their partner asks them for a baby, they misunderstand it but their partner was talking about adopting a kitten, puppy or any animal, but they don't understand it until be a little late.

L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)

ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; can we have a baby? hc’s

ೃ⁀➷ warnings; very very very slightly suggestive

ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; stair master is not 4 the weak, this is such a cute prompt!!! keep them coming, wuit nic cold turkey yiiikkkeeesss will i powerr thru yes i will

C. OLIVEIRA

surprisingly the most on board

but don’t get me wrong, he WILL be surprised - i’m talking eyes wide, lips parted as he simply stares at you for a moment

before simply asking an ‘are you sure?’

he’s a family man - you could say his dream was to start a family with you and have little rascals running around which resembled the pair of you

and so he simply grins, wraps his arms around you and latches his lips onto your neck - murmuring something about getting started already

‘getting started with what? carlos, i mean a damn pet!’

‘… a pet? even fuckin’ better!’

he’ll literally be more excited about the animal than the ‘kid’ - though he’s not opposed to having one by any means. would like to, actually

L. KENNEDY

eyes wide, jaw slack

literally just stares at you - blinking every so often whilst he processes the absolute out worldly request you’d made

don’t get me wrong, he loves you deeply. but a kid? he’s convinced you’d be a great parent, yet less convinced whether he’d be even good as a deadbeat

just imagine - leon sat there with his hands on his knees, jaw clenched, gripping the material as his mind wanders whilst you’re just sat there confused as hell as to how such a question could evoke so much emotion

‘… okay, if that’s what you want. but seriously, i don’t think im cut out for all the dad shit, i don’t want to disappoint you-’

‘leon, i mean a pet’

oh. his eyebrows furrow in confusion at your words, considering how convinced he was you wanted a kid.

he gets a little embarassed. he loves you dearly and wants nothing more to start a family with you, just can’t help but doubt his abilities at being able to do so. reassure him a lil, he’ll come around eventually

C. REDFIELD

definitely asked halfway throughout dinner

instantly stops chewing, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he simply stares at you

at this point, it’s been accepted by the whole fandom that he deffo has a breeding kink LMAO so like he’s not necessarily opposed to the idea - just rather confused by the suddenness of the question

you’d never expressed the slightest mention of wanting kids in the past, no baby videos, clothes, or anything

safe to say he’s a bit disoriented - and straight to the point

‘you wanna have a kid? now?’

‘no, i mean a pet. like an animal.’

okay so now he just embarrassed himself. mutters something about you not being specific enough before continuing on with his meal - not even answering the question anyways

you’ve now put the idea of a kid into his head. and once he feels comfortable enough with his job and everything else, he may or may not start hinting at a kid himself

[ni-idea-07]

A Little Princess

TW: mild yandere, manipulation, brainwashing, neglect by your real parents. Mentions of blood, mutilation, cannibalism, and murder. English is not my first language.

After escaping to Norway. A beautiful, semi-rural place, where Will could enjoy fishing and Hannibal…let’s just say he enjoyed hunting -human hunting, that is-.

Hannibal introduced himself as a surgeon named Adam Bakersfield and Will introduced himself as Ryan Bakersfield, a college professor who specialized in psychology. That’s what they said when there were curious people asking.

You were first met when your grandparents had called Hannibal to help you -he was the only doctor in town-. You had a huge pain in your side, which Hannibal easily diagnosed as appendicitis and quickly operated on you. Your body seemed to be healthy and once you’re a little older you could be an exquisite dish once you grow up since he doesn’t eat children.

Still, they hardly appeared in public and many had rumors about them. The house they got was quite far from the town, it was a house where they could do what they wanted without anyone bothering them.

But still one of them went out to do the weekly shopping. Hannibal had seen the way Will’s eyes sparkled when he talked about you and how you had helped him carry the bags to his car.

Okay, they see you as the perfect addition to the family, but they’re not crazy enough to kidnap you out of nowhere. No.

They invited you to have a snack at their house every afternoon and would plant ideas in your head little by little, telling you that your parents used you to make you work in small part-time jobs. Otherwise, why could you never buy yourself the nail polish you wanted so much? You also started to doubt if for your parents you were just the free babysitter they used to take care of your 2 younger brothers when they went on trips -something they did regularly to revive their relationship-.

They brainwashed you, they used your insecurities against you.

Did you never spend much time with your father since he preferred to spend quality time with his sons? Well, you won’t have a father figure, you’ll have two. Will will take you fishing and teach you all his tricks, Hannibal would teach you to play the piano or some other instrument you prefer.

Did they never let you have a pet? Well, you’ll be able to spend a lot of time with the dogs that Will recently adopted.

Did they never prepare something you choose? Problem solved! Hannibal will prepare your favorite meals every time you go to his house. -And I hope you like it, people died so he could cook. Literally-

With them you had everything, love, attention…

The people of the town didn’t know why you weren’t going around and helping everyone like always. They assumed that maybe you had a boyfriend or that simply taking care of your brothers kept you very busy.

Whatever.

You weren’t of age yet and that was a disadvantage for them since you couldn’t disappear without the whole town looking for you, but at the same time it was an advantage, you were young, a young person who could be easily manipulated.

But you weren’t stupid, they inspired you and that’s why you wanted to move forward, to be able to go to a nice university far from that small town.

One night you were doing some research, you were using Will’s computer while they were preparing dinner -or whatever they do-.

You knew they were a couple and you didn’t want to bother them, that’s why you tried to look up by yourself the things you wanted to present in an essay you had to hand in. You chose the passage of time and how AI developed.

You finished earlier than expected so you decided to have a little moment of leisure, you don’t know why or how, but you watched a documentary about the most terrifying murders in the world.

That was unusual for you since that kind of videos gave you anxiety since most of them still had the killers on the loose.

But still, what you saw in the top 4 left you disturbed. They were the photos of your friendly friends with other names: Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham.

Let me clarify that they introduced themselves under another name with you, they were Adam and Ryan Bakersfield.

You couldn’t believe it, at first you took it as a mistake but then you started to investigate even more.

Murder, mutilation and cannibalism was what you found.

You were very scared and nauseous.

You closed all the pages and sighed trying to keep everything in your stomach.

The door opened.

-“Honey, dinner is ready. Prepare the garlic bread you like so much”- Hannibal came in.

You nodded awkwardly and went to wash your hands, you were very scared but you wouldn’t say what you discovered, you would just act like you didn’t know anything and then you would go home to never return.

Once at the table Will noticed quickly, you were easy to read and even more so after Hannibal told him what he saw in the computer’s search history.

This You were so nervous, so scared that it was really hard to stay calm, at dinner, you could barely pick up the food with your fork.

Well. This can lead to three possible alternative endings depending on what you choose.

The first. If they see that you are too nervous, they will look at each other before smiling, they clearly know that the situation was too much for you.

-“Honey, is there something you want to say?”- Hannibal asked.

You dropped the fork on the plate and then stared at it in silence, like a deer looking into the headlights of a vehicle. You were scared and that would be easily seen just by looking at you.

In this scenario the situation got the better of you and you told them what you saw.

-“Oh, well…we wanted to tell you before, but we knew that would scare you.”- Hannibal began.

-“We will explain everything, finish your dinner first, okay? It’s not what it seems”- Will continued after stroking your head.

They explained to you that each of their crimes was justified. That they were doing good or at least trying to, but the FBI misunderstood them and considered them a danger to society. They had no choice but to flee.

And you believed them.

You believed absolutely everything they said and you were at a point where you no longer wanted to return to the town with your real parents. They manipulated you so much that you no longer wanted to be away from them. The brainwashing was so successful that you ended up being the daughter they both always wanted.

But you still had a sensitive stomach. Which still didn’t allow you to participate in their crimes, and they also kept you away from the kitchen when Hannibal dismembered the bodies.

Still, the three of you were happy together as a family. It’s a shame that the whole town is looking for you after you “disappeared.” But they don’t know that you are happier than ever with your new parents.

The second possibility is that you didn’t empathize with them or their murders, you felt disgust for having eaten their food

-“Honey, come. Let’s talk”- said Hannibal while he searched for you in the small forest behind his house. But you knew it wouldn’t be just like that, not while he had that knife in his hand.

-“We’ll just talk a little, then we’ll eat ice cream and we can watch a movie you like”- added Will while he had a flashlight in one hand and his phone in the other, calling you to make your phone ring.

Your phone rang inside, you were so absent-minded that you forgot it there. That gave you the opportunity to flee to the road and run to your house.

You had been able to escape, but when you got home, your parents were having dinner, they hadn’t even waited for you or saved a portion for you.

-“Oh, Y/N, we thought you would have already eaten at the Bakersfield house. You should have been here and helped me prepare dinner, if you wanted to eat you had to help”- your mother spoke when she saw you out of the corner of her eye, she didn’t even look at you, otherwise she would know how scared you were.

You ignored what she said and went straight to your room.

But your body stopped thinking and your mind stopped being on alert.

Even though they were murderers, they were much better than your parents. They loved you –in a twisted way But they still did it–.

Or maybe it was Stockholm syndrome talking for you.

You went out the window and went back to their house.

You were like a lamb going straight to the slaughter. Adorable.

But they believed in second chances, you were their perfect and beloved daughter, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, right? You were still too young.

And the third possibility… It’s the worst of all.

You don’t confront them directly. Rather, they already know.

You try to run But Will grabs you and immobilizes you while Hannibal prepared something in a glass and squeezes your cheeks until you open your mouth and drink what he prepared.

Maybe it took you 4 or 5 minutes to pass out in Will’s arms.

But it wouldn’t be the same for you anymore. You would be in that house away from everything whether you wanted to or not.

One or six months passed, you didn’t know it, But you were no longer the bright young woman, the one who smiled at everything and liked to help, they knew it just by looking at you.

That’s why they decided to free you. But not in the way you would have liked.

One afternoon when you were curled up next to your bed in the room they gave you. Will came in and crouched down next to you.

–“Hi honey, you know you’re a good girl, right?”– he asked as he caressed your cheek, which was now thinner than he would have liked.

You nodded in silence. Hannibal appeared at the door.

–“Wash your hands, darling, it’s time for a snack.”

You did and then went downstairs. Both of you looked at each other when you sat down at the tea table on the patio.

The place, the tablecloth, the snack, everything was similar to the same thing you had the first time you arrived, when Will wanted to thank you for helping him carry the groceries…

–“Darling, you know how special you are to us, right?”– Hannibal began as Will stood up –“You were the best daughter we ever had. We love you and we want you to stop suffering.”

When Will stood behind you, you instinctively stood up but Hannibal grabbed your wrists.

–“we’re sorry baby, but this will be the best for you”– Will said after putting his hands on your thin neck.–“we love you baby”

“We love you” was the last thing you heard before losing consciousness. Will was suffocating you with his hands.

You had been so special to them and they hated to see you suffer, that’s why they had freed you.

But hey! You can choose one of the three endings. It all depends on you and the choices you made.

THE END

A little too long, sorry I really like Hannigram as a platonic yandere.

By the way, there are still requests open. Please leave your request and I’ll be happy to fulfill it.

Thanks for reading and greetings.🫠

[shantechni]

Related to your post about Mikey "accidentally delivering low blows when stressed" (Aug 2023) would you hc that it's related to his emotional awareness of his family? Like when he blamed Splinter for letting them go up to the surface, he would know Splinter was already questioning his decision to let them do that, or he calls Splinter out on not being affected by his mutated appearance (when Splinter looks uncomfortable being seen by humans/Shredder)? Basically, what are your further thoughts on it? Has he done this elsewhere?

The post in question for the curious cats

This compilation video as well because my big brain remembered me doing that and it's related to this topic and I meant to do a part 2

Oh, that behavior is 100% related to Mikey's emotional awareness. I'd hardly even call it a headcanon, it's just canon lol.

After not only botching their first fight above ground but failing to stop two kidnappings on their watch, the boys immediately start playing the blame game by pointing out each other's rash decisions and dumb mistakes that led to such an outcome. Obviously, the idea of Splinter's decision being yet another mistake of the sorts was hanging somewhere in the air waiting to be grabbed at, but no one readily went for it as something that needed to be acknowledged as a mistake. That's why it's so fascinating to see the writers establish Mikey right out of the gate as someone who isn't afraid to comment on Splinter's decisions and his emotional state when he's making those decisions.

He was certainly aware of their father's doubts concerning them going above ground for the first time because a comment like that doesn't just come out of nowhere.

Granted, this instance was him speaking his mind in the heat of the moment and only realizing how much his words would sting after the fact (especially since they're the ones who convinced Splinter to send them off with their begging), but this becoming a continuous trend of his throughout the series further proves the fact of him being more aware of things than a lot of people pegged him to be.

In Mikey Gets Shellacne, his remark about Splinter telling him not to fret about his appearance when he could hardly bring himself to do the same can be interpreted as a more apparent example of him knowing more than he lets on. It's made rather obvious from the start of the series that Splinter wasn't keen on roaming the streets looking like a giant rat, but that's more of a "show and don't tell" deal where both the audience and the characters are left on their own to pick up on such an important yet minor detail. Splinter never tells anyone about his insecurity, nor does anyone in the series talk about it amongst each other, so a moment like this can be a bit jarring when it's framed as Mikey calling out Splinter's opinion on his own appearance.

Though the intent of his comment was to simply call Splinter old, the underlying insult is there and Mikey regrets saying something like that to their father of all people.

Other than letting his frustrations get the better of him and unintentionally plucking at Splinter's insecurities, Mikey is greatly in tuned with the emotions of those around him and will usually pick up on any changes rather quickly. Take these two moments with, funnily enough, him and Splinter near the start of Serpent Hunt.

I previously posted the first clip as a funny little observation, but the scene is more intriguing than my jestful sentence made it out to be. Mikey's attention is split between hanging his goofy pieces of artwork on the wooden boards and listening to April as she announces how the restaurant is starting to look like a makeshift home. It's not until he turns around to joke with her about his drawings that he finally has Splinter in his sights, and his attention evidently begins to drift to Splinter as April is responding to his question (you can literally see his head following Splinter's movements while April is speaking to him😭). And just look at how taken aback he is by Splinter's melancholic expression being on full display:

While Splinter answers Mikey by stating that he's concerned for Casey, Leo and Raph because they've been gone for a while, it's pretty obvious that's not all he's bothered by, and him not being subtle about his troubled mind like usual had enough flags raising in Mikey's mind for him to hop up from his spot. Once the scene transitions to the second clip, Mikey lingers with Splinter in the front of the restaurant while April ventures to the back in search of Donnie to check on his progress with the retro-mutagen, as well as to see if the others made it back yet. Mikey and Splinter decide to follow April as soon as Donnie utters Karai's name, and Mikey is visibly bracing himself for another look of heartbreak on their father's visage:

Splinter moments aside, Mikey recognizes when something is up with his brothers and friends, as well as whether or not he should step in. Of course the prominent moments of him demonstrating his ability to calm Leatherhead and Raph down count among the times when he steps in, but the times when he chooses not to step in shouldn't be understated either.

Take the pre-intro scene in The Cosmic Ocean for example, when April breaks the silence and questions where Leo ran off to. We understand where Raph is coming from when he says that it can't be healthy for Leo to confide in a simulated version of Splinter since it could just make him miss their father more than ever, but Mikey suddenly pops from his laid back position off-screen and joins the conversation:

He's knows as well as Raph that speaking with a simulation of their father isn't exactly ideal, but he also knows that Leo is used to coming home to confide in Splinter for advice whenever he feels his confidence as a leader beginning to waver. The whole gang knows all of this, but once again, Mikey's the only one to verbalize it. Sometimes people need to hear something so obvious outloud to really understand or remember its importance, and Mikey seems to know that best.

I don't really need to mention how his emotional awareness extends far beyond simply knowing when someone is down, or when he is or isn't in a position to help them, but it makes for a decent epilogue to this analysis so-

Him being the least (read: least) temperamental of his brothers automatically puts him in the position of a mediator when there's tension in the group, and it's common knowledge that he'd often go out of his way to ease that tension in his own ways. He sometimes makes jokes, both corny and intelligent, just to get everyone's minds off of the heaviness of a situation, even if that moment of reprieve only lasts for a minute. He attempts to break up fights before they get too far, which sometimes doesn't work because they're a stubborn bunch of turtles (literally the entire first five minutes of New Girl in Town lol), but his efforts are commendable and genuine.

He's exceptionally conscious of changes in the atmosphere and a swing in someone's mood, which could go hand in hand with his sixth sense for weird Kraang stuff if you think about it. But all of this comes together to paint an undeniably clear image of Mikey having a great amount of emotional awareness, and just all around being one of the most emotionally intelligent characters of the series.

[thefirstlioveyou]

The State of Mike's Safety & What He Needs in S5

a part of s5 is gonna be them finally realizing they need mike. i mean, it makes sense. you have a character who feels like nobody needs him. wouldn't he need to discover that everyone needs him? in order to believe he is needed by everyone, he needs to see it for himself and not just from a single person's words.

and if it's true that he is needed by everyone like will, the duffers, and shawn levy claim, who we have no reason not to believe, then wouldn't whoever "everyone" is need to have a plot changing moment where they all collectively realize that? as of right now, he still flies right over their head. something major needs to happen for them to finally realize he has been the key this whole time. they need to lose him in some way. it's kinda like how you never know what you have until it's gone or it's almost too late.

with people still doubting mike being in danger.... why on earth wouldn't vecna take away the one thing that makes them all fall apart?

the show's literally spoiling s5 right in front of our eyes. the twist is in our face. they lost. they fell apart and were always bound to lose no matter what. why? because they lost the heart (mike). it's why mike keeps getting mentioned for NO reason in plots that don't even concern him. the answer is right in their face but the characters keep missing it.

when vecna tells el "you have already lost," it only makes me think that he had already done something that solidified his win a long time ago [side-eyes that damn vine]

s3 kept bashing the audience over the head through weird ass dialogue and blocking that mike's important. he is key. he is also "flayed." s4 just bashes you over the head even more that it's almost too late for mike, much similar to how it was for max.

now, this shot is incredibly important. nancy hugs jonathan instead of hugging mike. the show wants us to notice the flaw in this.

i think after what we saw in the bts video, one of nancy's priorities next season will be connecting with family, especially mike.

one of the points of mike in s1 was that nobody knew anything about him because they didn't put the effort to. he wasn't a concern to them until government was involved and they didn't know where he was. he was invisible until he was actually "missing" momentarily.

his mom didn't fight for answers the way she did for nancy the whole season. nancy didn't know where he could've been because they don't talk and she's clearly embarrassed to admit that. she proposes they never hide anything again but that doesn't last long. karen doesn't say anything about the scab on mike's chin when all it'd take is a line or two to write in that acknowledges it. even EL noticed it and asked. meanwhile, without hesitation, karen asks nancy about the sweater she was wearing with full concern. then the infamous cliff scene just. it never happened. he's never even thanked in any capacity for it and all the credit turns to el. a 12 year old boy stepped, not jumped, stepped off a cliff. he didn't bother begging or fighting for an alternative. he just accepted it. totally normal scene, right? and it just never gets mentioned.

karen refuses to go to mike herself. she expects him to come, but mike isn't gonna do that. there's a reason why we never see him actually open up with her and only hugs her, the same way jonathan and joyce only hug but never actually talk about what actually needs to be talked about. karen and nancy don't ever hug once the whole show because the love karen has for her is shown through her actual actions and efforts.

this "he'll come to us when he's ready" bullshit is the opposite of what season 4 was trying to say with max. waiting for someone to come ain't gonna work, at least not in this universe. it just ends up horribly.

they need to look harder.

there needs to be someone fighting for him.

it's been so clear what the show is trying to do with mike since the beginning. he is constantly shown to be running out of time or being late just like vecna's victims. he is invisible up until he's in danger, just like max. karen waits for him the way lucas waited for max, and he learns from it. the "i just tripped" excuse from vecna's victims ties directly back to mike. so if you think about it, in a way, mike's been living in his own version of vecna's curse the entire show. it's just a slowburn version of it and nobody's noticing. that's why they lost.

if they say we are coming back in a circle, then that only means mike has to finally be visible to them now. he has to be one of their concerns. they need to care and be given a reason to. we are finally gonna see into his head again, and likely more than we ever have before. finn's also already confirmed s5 will dive more into his mental health.

the last 20 minutes of s4 is basically screaming at you how screwed mike is, but it's also a line up of the people who are likely the ones gonna be fighting for him. he gets a personal scene with his mom, who tells him he is staying right there. it matters that he's there. he has his scene with hopper. nancy tells jonathan she's glad he was with mike (and adds on will as an after thought. interesting writing choice there. they're doing too much to single him out this entire ending bit).

we're even shown that will is the light in mike's life, the same way mike and will's family was will's light in s2 during his possession. will is drowning in sunlight while mike's sits right at the edge of it.

they need to reach out to mike. mike needs to be fought for in some way next season rather than him only fighting for someone else again, which only feeds into his toxic cycle. if he saves someone, he's needed. but that's not it. that's not how it should be. that is the same logic that holds him down. he was confronted with a dying el and max again in s4, paralleling s1. the pressure was on him to get to her fight and do something, or else she'd die... again... because he failed (in his eyes).

and i'm not saying mike won't be a hero - he definitely will be. he will get his moment. i'd like to think the love he'll receive will fuel his will to fight back and win against something finally. but first, he must find worth in his own life in order to do that. he needs to realize he himself is worth fighting for.

mike is clearly a target next season and has been since the start. thinking the antagonist has nothing to do with the main character... respectfully cope harder. as if it wasn't both nancy and mike's best friends who went missing. as if holly wasn't moments away from being snatched by a demogorgon. as if karen didn't have a moment with a flayed!billy. as if it isn't mike that is vecna's "friend" and him that wasn't grabbed a vine we have never seen before. as if it isn't nancy who vecna chose to give his message to. is mike really just there to sit there and look pretty and be perfectly safe to some of y'all? that makes sense to some people??

it is obvious it's max, then it's mike. they aren't even being discreet about it.

so all in all, mike needs to be valued and loved next season. and clearly, that's what the writers want you to do as well.

"but he's been a complete jerk!! he needs to earn this by apologizing first!! they shouldn't be doing this first."

ok let's think for a second why they're doing that in this order because it is odd. why is mike being met with so much love, care and concern before we even get an understanding of why he's been the way he's been? why are they making us worry about mike? why is it almost like he's getting a pass? why are they working backwards?

it's simple. if they're trying to get you to gather sympathy for this boy before a proper """redemption arc""" or apology, before getting a single glimpse into his pov, all while wholeheartedly saying he's the heart despite the last 2 seasons failing to give him the chance to be that... it's only because they know something that we don't. there's a massive plot twist regarding him that's gonna recontextualize everything.

this is another big reason why i think it's very likely possessiongate may actually be real. the way they're setting it up like this makes it seem like mike never did anything at all. when a character messes up in this show, it does not go this way. you don't seem them get rewarded with a painting that tells them how great of a person they are. there is something very off about the way this is being structured if mike is truly at fault.

-

tags (i'm gonna assume the likes were also yes' 😭):

@itswhatyougive @apocalyptic-byler @lazylama9 @beepingmemesauce2727 @gimmiecandy @will-teehee @girly-eldritch-screeching @lemons-woo-yeah @bylerposting @luhvtan875 @thecharliechip @80syaoi @ivermyri @my-coven-is-claudia @bulionzkury @heroesbyler @directorfinnwolfhard

[flippinpancakes64]

Hey, i love ur works. I was wondering if i could request the Cullens with a reader who’s really good with children and is also a kindergarten/elementary school teacher. Thank u💞 Hope you have a nice day

The Cullens with a Reader who’s good with Kids

I apologize ahead of time for any inaccuracies here. There are no children around me and I do not go seek them out either. Me and kids do not mix…

Anyways thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

We don’t really know how he feels about kids before the birth of Renesmee

I mean obviously he loves her, but we don’t know if that’s because he loves kids or just because she’s his daughter

Either way I feel like he would be good with them

He would love to come help you with your students anytime you want him to

He loves setting up little games for them to play and reading to them

And he loves how good you are with kids

It just makes him go crazy

And then he gets stuck in that spot of wanting a kid with you. It not wanting to put you through what Bella went through

But that’s a whole different topic

He does have a moment of self doubt

He thinks you should be with someone who is alive and who could give you kids (if you want them)

Not someone who’s dead and could only hurt you

But he does get over himself

Eventually

Until then he helps you in your classes

All of your students love him btw

Alice:

You know those videos on tiktok of elementary school teachers going all out decorating their classrooms?

Alice is making you do that whether you want to or not

She’s buying all of the streamers, decorations, and posters she can find

She has so much fun with it

And she LOVES to dress you up in colorful outfits

If you’re a man or a woman or anything in between it doesn’t matter

Cause you are gonna wear this rainbow sweater no matter what

And I have a feeling she’s really good with kids too

She’s never had a really strong desire to have any, but she loves to hang out with them when they’re around

She helps out in your classroom as much as she can

And if that help is just making sure your streamers are up to fire code… who’s keeping track anyway

Jasper:

This man is scared of kids

There was one time where he was just walking through a park with Alice and a kid tripped and scraped his knee

He almost went ballistic

Kids are so unpredictable and such a danger to themselves and other kids

Way too prone to bleeding for him to be comfortable

So he’s always on edge around them

Not to mention he’s always awkward

He doesn’t know what to talk about

He was in your room once and a kid was trying to play with him and he just… sat there

Bro is lost

Tried talking about the weather to one of your kids once too

It’s best to keep him away

He’s more than willing to help decorate your room though

And grade tests if you’re getting a bit swamped

It’s just in everyone’s best interest if he’s only in your classroom after hours

Rosalie:

Do I even need to elaborate

She is THE woman for the job

We all know she loves kids, and if what we saw of her with Renesmee proves anything, she’s great with them too

So this is literally the perfect arrangement

She loves kids

She’s not able to be around kids often

You show up

You are literally an elementary school teacher

Perfect match

She comes over literally every time that she can

And since there’s nothing technically holding her back, that’s pretty often

She poses as your student teacher in order to be there all the time

Really, she’s great with them

And she loves it

And the fact that you love kids and are great with them too instantly puts you at #1 on her list

Emmett:

I feel like he’s also great with kids

They love him

I mean, when you’re a kid, what’s better than the guy who can swing you around

Very few things tbh

The boys in your class especially love him

They love arm wrestling or racing him

He lets them win of course

He mostly shows up at your classroom around recess

But hey at least he gets all of their energy out before they need to sit down more

He’s also not someone who dreams about having kids

But if you want them, then he’s all for it

As long as you’re either willing to adopt or willing to go through what Bella went through

But as for him, he’s okay with the little guys you have running around your classroom

Esme:

Another mother at heart

She loves kids

I mean, she’s dedicated her entire vampire life to being an adoptive mother to about 7 immortal kids

So she is more than willing to help you with anything you want

Your kids absolutely love her too

They always get excited when Mrs Esme comes to visit

She is the best at storytelling

She has their entire attention for as long as she spends talking

And she loves helping you decorate your room too

Of course, she also loves that you’re so good with kids

As someone who once had a child and now has so many “children,” it’s important to her that her partner loves kids

Any time you need help, she is there

And she is so excited to decorate your classroom

She brings in candy and food for every single holiday party

Your kids don’t need to provide a single thing

That might be why they all love her actually

Jk jk

She’s just so sweet how could you not

Carlisle:

He is also a guy who’s great with kids

I mean, when you’re one of the only doctors in a small town you kinda have to be good with all kinds of people

Kids love him too

He doesn’t even really need to try

He’s just sort of unbothered by whatever kids want to do to him

So if a kid wants to climb onto his back and pull his hair and sit on his head then he won’t stop them

It’s not like it hurts or anything, he’ll live

Obviously though, he can’t be at your classroom all of the time

Actually, he can’t even be there every once in a while

The clinic is pretty demanding

So he mostly just helps at home

The amount of times when he has graded your kids’ papers or printed off new worksheets for them while you were asleep is countless

He just tries to support you where he can

And of course his money is your money

You want to throw a birthday party for one of your students? Here’s his debit card, go crazy

Vampire! Bella:

She’s a reluctant person with kids

I mean, obviously she loves Renesmee, but aside from her, she’s never been good at dealing with kids

She’s just awkward around them

Sort of the same vibe as Jasper

Doesn’t know what to say to them

She was in your classroom and one of the kids was talking to her

So she just started talking about politics?

Even the kid was confused

But the problem is that kids love her

You don’t really know why, neither does she

But something about her just draws kids to her

She prefers to just help you out at home

But she gets frustrated too quick with the little kid writing

“What the hell is this supposed to say? I’m just gonna mark it wrong”

“Bella you can’t just do that-“