#(kill your ass)

[moonmoonthecrabking]

FUCK YOU TUMBLR LIVE GO GET FUCKED YOURE FUCKING LOSERS AND ILL KILL YOU

[11oh1]

[mugiwara-lucy]

Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂

[cozylittleartblog]

50+ deaths at 5 am got me yelling absolute nonsense to the bosses kicking my whole entire ass

[sorry-i-forgot]

astarion: yeah my former master gave me these scars

my oath of vengeance paladin:

[somewhereincairparavel]

Hear me out. Jason Grace would NOT understand meme culture or gen z jokes. Like. At all. This man is a dorky dad in a child's body.

Jason would just do a cool backflip or sumn and Piper would go "oh my gosh slayyy" and he'd get all serious and alert, draws his gladius and goes "Where's the monster I need to slay Piper? Where is it????"

Leo would call him a pookie bear, and Jason would be like "??? Frank's the bear" and "What is a pookie, it is a very peculiar sounding word" with the most adorable clueless puppy face ever.

Piper and Leo would be in TEARS.

Bc. Jason grace, the Son of Jupiter. Child of rome. Toppler of the black throne. Praetor of the twelfth legion. Slayer of krios. The golden celebrity of camp jupiter. Cold intimidating feral boy who most ppl even fear standing next to. Doesn't know what a pookie bear is.

Also, Jason would HATE HATE HATE the "womp womp" jokes (which Leo makes ALOT lmao) it's legit like the Bane of his existence.

Bc he doesn't get it? Like when Annabeth gives them all a very serious Architectural nerdy explanation about the exteriors of the new rome shrines, Leo would just go "womp womp" like so out of the blue.

Annabeth would be fucking furious, and Jason would be like super annoyed aswell bc. dude. What was the point of interrupting such a great nerdy yapping session, like, I was enjoying that. You killed the vibe.

(We all know it's canon that Jason and annabeth love yapping and geeking out in cursive together, so they BOTH hate the womp womp jokes with a burning passion BC IM TRYNA TALK HERE)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

she turns, makes direct eye contact with you, smiles,

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

[fawnnpaws]

sending ex bf patrick a pic of a hoodie you know isn’t his in a text that says “come get your hoodie, i don’t want it” and watching him short circuit in real time bc you stop responding. he sends you 27 texts in the span of 3 minutes. when you finally respond with “if it’s not yours don’t worry about it” you know what you’re doing. he shows up at your door in 10 minutes flat, was probably already on his way before you even said that. you feign annoyance, rolling your eyes and sneering at him when you open the door, but he doesn’t care. he picks you up over his shoulder and slams your front door shut behind him as he carries you to your bedroom.

he throws you down so hard you almost bounce off the bed and the entire time he’s bullying your little pussy with his dick he’s asking “whose fucking hoodie is that?” the more you skirt around the answer, the harder he fucks you - he’s got two fingers fishhooked in your cheek and one hand around your neck while he rails you from behind, your back to his chest. you’re drooling all over his fingers and your face, he gives you opportunity after opportunity to tell him but you won’t - you’re so fucked out on his cock you don’t even know your own name anymore, but it doesn’t stop you from being a fucking brat - you tell him the hoodie smells good, maybe you will keep it if it’s not his. he sees red. he pulls out of your pussy and has you on your back with your head hanging off the bed so fast it makes your head spin. “fine,” he says. “don’t wanna tell me? you don’t need to use that mouth at all, just take this fuckin dick.”

he fucks your throat so hard you think you’ll have trouble swallowing for a week. when he sees you try to snake your hands back down to your needy cunt, he grabs your wrists in one hand and pins them to the bed so he can keep humping his dick in and out of your throat. he slaps your poor pussy with his free hand for good measure, just to feel you yelp around his dick. your whines and whimpers below him send vibrations straight through him. “you like that, baby? you miss this dick? whatever prick owns that hoodie couldn’t fuck your bitchy little mouth the way you want? pushing my fuckin buttons. you know only i can slut you out like this. take it take it take it.” you swallow every drop of his cum like you’re starving for it.

and god, he still takes care of you after. cleans you up, tucks you in bed, and asks again about the hoodie. you give him a sleepy, smug smile and with your hoarse voice say, “picked it up at the mall earlier today. it’s cute, huh?”

[kinnsporsche]

imagine being so threatened by a character who isn’t even on the show anymore (for now) that you write a graphic fic of him killing himself and purposefully don’t tag it right in order to trigger people. like you are a freak and atp i don’t even think therapy could help you

[methoughtsphantom]

Danny adopts Jason and Dan kills the Joker au

Danny adopts Jason not because of the pit but because he sees how hard the guy goes after the Joker. At first Danny thinks nothing of it, but then Jason gets all the core vibes typical of wanting to avenge something. that would be fine except Jason is a bby ghost and the thing he wants to avenge is his own’s death. It’s a feeling Danny almost didn’t have to struggle with, being that a portal killed him (except it was the reason he immediately went to have beef with anyone that crossed the portal. They were essentially aided with the device that killed him and that made him feel… threatened? Frostbite didn’t explain it all that well) so yeah here’s Danny having a bit of a heart attack because the Red Hood is actively seeking to be in the same room as his murderer which baby ghosts are not allowed to what the fuck. He personally won’t do it, (cause he’s never killed someone) but he’s not above asking his older brother Dan to do it.

Danny: think of it as a favor I’m asking of u

Dan: it’s murder, that way surpasses a favor

Danny: 🥺 i’ll buy u a donut

Dan:

Dan: make it a half a dozen and you’re on

[theonewhowails]

silly stuff i drew while reading Feel No Evil by @payasita , in which the Lamb does not know how to propose, Narinder does not know how to be alive, and neither of them knows what an obligate carnivore is

bonus? lmao

[tenderjock]

I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two

[tiny-huts]

People keep talking about "legend of Drizzt show this" or "legend of Drizzt video game that" I just want to play a fucking game where you are Jarlaxle and it's half a resource management game where you keep your mercenary company running and half a fucking dating sim where you can go for Kimmuriel, Artemis, Zak, the dragons, et cetera with a polyamory mechanic

[feketeribizli]

she cut her hair 😔