#(it’s a very common phrase in jazz music)

[conshirtoe]

It’s so funny to me how Eddie Jobson managed to put The Lick into Turn It Over

[eri-pl]

A long post about why chromaticism is awesome

(in the context of Ainulindale) and what Melkor did and what he didn't and what Rúmil got wrong

Because 17 of you voted for it, one for "don't care" and one for "we don't need anti-Melkor propaganda" which isn't true: we do need more anti-Melkor propaganda :D (Told you I'm going to ignore some of the votes! I like him ok? I just don't like what he did.) (It's not even particularly focused on that… )

So, long post below cut:

Inharmonious?

 it came into the heart of Melkor to interweave matters of his own imagining that were not in accord with the theme of Ilúvatar [to make himself more important]

Let me ask you a question: Did Melkor sing music that wa snot compatible with the theme of Ilúvatar? Yes, you say, 'tis in the quote.

Nay, I say. It came into his mind to do so. So he did try. But he did not do it, because it is not possible. He simply assumed that what he sang was fundamentally incompatibile. Also, it was too loud and badly timed and confused many of the Ainur. Yes, it was ugly and didn't work well. But it was not, on fundamental, harmonic level, incompatibile, as:

And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite

So: no. contrary to common way of talking about it in the fandom, Melkor didn't play anything fundamentally … how to phrase it? The themes were fundamentally good, just in wrong place and too loud.

["A lot of evil is a misprioritized good" is a thing that probably has a lot written about it already.]

The nature of discord

So, time for some music theory (Yay!)

"Discord" is Tolkien's word for "music I don't like, eg the Beatles and jazz", but generally, discordant notes mean notes that aren't part of the current harmony, or even part of the scale, and make spicy intervals with the notes that are already being played.

Except.

A better word for such notes is "dissonance" or "tension". Because they aren't inherently wrong or ugly. They are something that feels like it needs to be dealt with, they create more energy in the music.

Sure, a stiff classical music teacher (the kind who tries to be Mozartier than Mozart and cleans the trumpet only on the outside, you get the vibe) would tell you that you can't have a second, or a tritone (the famous "devil chord" allegedly) and so on.

That's not true.

You can have those, just not for long, and not too loud and they need to go somewhere and so on and so forth. But used properly, the tensions make music richer and alive.

(But of course when someone decides to be a jerk about it and plays them for too long and too loud… Every sensation made too long and too intense becomes pain, and empowering something that should be temporary always ends up badly.)

Fire isn't inherently wrong, but when it gets out of control and burns everything, it's bad. Cold isn't inherently wrong, but freezing to death is nasty. Change isn't wrong, but can be.

Well, "change isn't wrong" becomes true when there are imperfect beings: beings that can change without becoming less. Like, you know, mountains, and trees, and Men.

What was Melkor's calling?

I think it was to add tensions. But to add them in a normal amount. And this required him to do two things: a) to sing keeping the harmonic tension regardless of everyone else singing differently, and b) to not overdo it and frigging accept the fact that everyone else is singing together.

Well, he managed to do half of it. :F Yay. :F I'm gonna make him a sticker saying "you tried". :F

And yes, this is difficult. That's why the most powerful of the Ainur got the job! And he still messed it up. Because he preferred his pride than the actual job.

But yes, I believe his job was to sing "in discord", just politely. And then at the end on the Music get quiet and yield, because that's what you do with the tensions. And then go happily hang out with your fellow Ainur who would appreciate what he did. Because it's very much not "he was made evil", just "he was made different and other, and became evil by trying to make everything like him when he was supposed to be the contrast".

[Pause, because I made myself sad about how much he messed up such beautiful ideas]

Men (and Elves)

Rúmil says they were created only as a response to Melkor's discord. So, without evil there would be no free will, and no people. Right?

Wrong. Rúmil, go home and rethink your life.

If Melkor did what I described above, the themes would still be able to progress normally, just without drama. And we would have Men and Elves and whatnot, because I don't but a "people are inherently a result of evil" setting, my BS detector flares red on that. (Should I say "sorry"?)

I'm not going into "does free will need evil to exist, or just the possibility of evil or some secret third option" because I don't want to go into real-world philosophy with this post.

Chromaticism AKA: what do you mean "rarepair", it's not a rarepair!

OK, so back to the music theory. Remember when I said that dissonant notes are, among others, notes outside the scale? Those are called "chromatic tones" and are used to add more emotion to the music. Usually the sad types (and scary, yes, this too) of emotion.

So, Nienna. The Vala who, among other things said about her, gets probably the best, awesomest description line in the whole book. My fav. The gothy psychopompy evil-in-early-versions weird lady whose windows gaze West of the West, to Darkness. The edgiest but never crossing the edge (unlike you, Melkor!), the one who prefers to weep for so long than to rise in pride.

I love her so much.

Her reaction to Melkor's dissonance was to weep. And how do you weep in music? Chromaticism. Which is a type of dissonance, technically.

Oh, if only Melkor didn't get it into his head to try to court stalk and pester Varda… :(

Also, the text doesn't say that Nienna was one of the main singers in the Third Theme (like Manwë was in Second), but the vibes very much suggest it. And honestly, with a theme that's not finished it is honest to not discuss who was the star of it?… anyway she is closely tied with the Third Theme, I'm sure everyone will agree on that.

So yea, the Third Theme, I'm so veryveryvery about it *deep breath* I'll try to keep it on-topic

The one was deep and wide and beautiful, but slow and blended with an immeasurable sorrow, from which its beauty chiefly came.

I cannt imagine "immesurable sorrow" in music without chromatic tones. I don't care what Rúmil would say, I don't care what Tolkien would say, the Third Theme is (if we imagine it as not physically music: it is the metaphysical equivalent of) chromatic. It just is.

It's sad and subtle, and the description sounds very much like a minor scale, but don't get me into scales and chord types, because then I'll digress into places we pretend aren't part of the discussion.

But yea, "minor ending with a Picardy third" would be a good approximation of the general feel, I guess.

Oh, and do you know how do you make a chromatic thing work— how do you make any "dissonant" (in classical terms) chord work? (No, Melkor (and Stravinsky), not by repetition!!!)

You put it into open voicing.

So, what is open voicing? I'm glad you asked. Imagine you're playing on a piano. Open voicing is when the notes are far apart and you would need longer fingers to play them at the same time. It's generally the notes being far from each other in terms of pitch. This does reduce the dissonances, because for example C4 and D4 clash much more than C4 and D5. So you put the notes in separate octaves as much as possible and it works, and it makes a chord that would be clashing into a beautiful epic-sounding and generally awesome.

Now, ask yourself: Where have we seen (heard?) about something like that? Because we have.

and in one chord, deeper than the Abyss, higher than the Firmament, piercing as the light of the eye of Ilúvatar, the Music ceased

OK, you can argue that the "deeper and higher" mean it is wide, but it doesn't imply that it's a chromatic chord. the implication goes only one way. True.

But "piercing"? Can a purely diatonic chord feel piercing? IDK

…is diatonic/chromatic even still a question at this point?

So, chromatic is a good thing, right? So, Melkor—

Noo… Not like that. Chromaticism is like— like fire. Or electricity. It can make good thigs better, and beautiful things more beautiful, but it's tricky, and needs to be used properly.It's like admin mode on your computer. Like "see advanced settings" button.

Also, Melkor did …provoke (for lack of a better wors) chromaticism in the Music, but his song on its own is the very opposite of chromatic. Which is sad and ties very well to one of my earlier posts.

He's not nuanced. He's just

had now achieved a unity of its own; but it was loud, and vain, and endlessly repeated; and it had little harmony, but rather a clamorous unison as of many trumpets braying upon a few notes

which is as non-chromatic as you can probably get :(

I made myself sad again, end of post.

Edit: Yeah, no, I went to take a morning (noon) shower and ofc realized there's a lot of it left. Like: why is Melkor-being-not-chromatic a sad thing if the chromaticism is tricky?

So, to be explored in a next post some day:

the ("dynamic" says too little, "self-defeating" claims too much... complicated?) nature of dissonant non-classic chords

the nature of Men, their out-of-FateMusic-ness and how does that relate to chromatic and non-chord tones and music in general

idk, probably more

[gojosprettyprincess]

Hiii I wonder wondering if you had any writings tips to share? :D I luv your writing style btw xx

Hellllo!! Yesss ofc! And thank you so much🫶🏻🫶🏻I’m honored that you’re asking me for writing tips🥹

So first off I don’t even consider myself a great writer because I’m pretty sure I’ve started writing a year ago, around this time when jjk came out so I still have a lot of learn and get better!! But here are some things I do -

I use Grammarly! It helps a lot especially when it comes to spotting errors and wrong words. I’ve only started using it about 2 months ago and it made my writings so much better!!

Try not to use words or phrases that are too common, instead look up synonyms and try to make the sentence longer. For example instead of saying “she is crying” say “warm tears starting prickling from her eyes as her expression sadden”. It makes your writing so much better when you’re being descriptive!

When I write, I don’t rush it—most of the things I post usually takes me like 2-3 days to write because I hate forcing myself to write when I don’t feel like writing or when I can’t think of anything. It decreases the quality when you rush it too much so take your time!

Remember you don’t have to finish in one day, write at your own pace and don’t feel rushed or pressured to finish! The outcome will be so much better, I promise

You don’t have to buttt a lot of times when I write I usually listen to jazz music, Sade or beach house just because it’s very comforting to me and makes me feel better about writing I’m not sure how to explain it but listening to music helps me write!

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

Tagged by my darling @glassangels <3<3<3

1. Are you named after anyone? Im named after a kinks song which is a massive win for me personally. They almost named me rosa after the pixies album (which wouldve made sense bc we do in fact surf) but one of my moms friends was already knitting a sweater with the kinks-name on it and she convinced them to keep it. My middle name is also my paternal grandmas middle name so i guess that counts too

2. When was the last time you cried? No idea tbh. That thing where you lie down on your side and then your eyes start leaking happens to me a lot but a proper sadness-induced cry hasnt happened for months. I will say that sometimes i say something made me cry, and although it technically didnt due to no tears falling, it did make my soul hurt and crying is the closest phrase that expresses that <3

3. Do you have kids? Thank god no

4. What sports do you play/have you played? Soccer, ran track for a bit, ultimate frisbee, swimming, fencing, fighting (mma, kickboxing, cage, etc), equestrianism (im including my brief and unimpressive time vaulting here), did some stuff with a circus briefly (contortionism, aerial arts, lyra), and then the usual outdoorsy shit (surfing, bouldering, hiking, skiing, and since caving is technically a sport, caving). Also danced for a bit (ballet, contemporary, and jazz). Yeah man idk either

5. Do you use sarcasm? Technically yes but its less "sarcasm" and more "inability to express a truth about myself without making it into a joke". A bit of sarcasm when the time calls for it is always fair game though and i will indulge

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? The way they carry themself says a lot about their temperament and emotional state and whatnot so thats typically where my eye is drawn. Second place goes to wherever theyre keeping their valuables on them and how expensively theyre dressed though

7. Eye color? Blue but ive got a bit of yellow central heterochromia so they tend to look green if its bright out

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Kill them <3 scary movies 4ever

9. Any talents? Party trick-wise i did retain some contortionist ability and so thats always a good one to break out. Also can spit water up to 30 ft for tooth gap reasons. I am the type of person whos just naturally good at a lot of things (sorry) so i consider that a talent too

10. Where were you born? The top left corner of the USA, not including alaska

11. Hobbies? Writing, journaling, watching movies, reading, various textile arts, going for walks, playing assorted instruments, and occasionally traditional art (im particularly fond of ballpoint pens and oil pastels). Would say listening to music but thats a job to me and i clock into that shit like i get paid

12. Any pets? Maeve the most anxious dog in the world who i love very much <3

13. Height? 5'8/172 cm

14. Favorite school subject? I was a school hater so it really depended on the teacher... in high school i did have the same teacher for like three years in a row (she taught me english in freshman year, history in sophomore, + health in junior) and she was totally awesome so all those classes were great. Typically the classes i had the most fun in were english and history just bc there was more room for fucking around. In the single semester of college i took i did have crazy amounts of fun in my film class though which i will say was mostly because my professor rocked and i got him on my side early so i could kind of do whatever

15. Dream job? Due to the Issues and also common sense mainly i just wish the government actually took care of people and i wouldnt need to work. But if i have to chose a job than itd be a) writing a book or two that are good enough i could live off the royalties and film rights and whatnot for the rest of my life or b) pulling an enya (dropping some widely beloved and largely incomprehensible music and then disappearing totally from the public eye to live in a castle in the middle of nowhere)

Idk whos already done this so ignore me if you have lol @supersonic1994 @nothingrhymedwithcircus @hauntedwoman @halogenstreetlight @evebabitzgf @serethereal and anyone else who wants to <3<3<3

[little-cereal-draws]

Nimona Stim Headcanons

Nimona: She likes to chew on things in most forms. Wolf, mouse, human, shark, cat, you name it. The problem is her teeth are very sharp and she often breaks whatever's in her mouth. It's been a struggle to find something she can bite without breaking it or hurting herself but Ballister's confident he'll find something eventually. She also likes to shred things as a cat; there are different sensations between shredding paper and cloth but she likes both. Bal gave her a pack of tissue paper once and that entertained her for hours; she was smiling and giggling the whole time. Her shifting itself can be a stim and sometimes she'll rapidly change shape while listening to someone talk to help her focus. Unfortunately, it's usually pretty distracting to the person talking to her. She also likes to listen to music and tap along to the songs. She uses her fingers but also things like pencils and silverware to make different sounds.

Ballister: This man bounces his leg like there's no tomorrow. All- every- all the time. He doesn't even notice he's doing it until someone asks him to stop shaking the whole table. He chews on the back of his pencils/pens while he thinks too. Also doesn't know he's doing it until he looks down and it's covered in bite marks. When he's anxious about something, he'll repeat words and phrases to calm himself down. For example, before he went into knight training evaluations, he would whisper "helmet, sword, chest plate, boots" over and over and over to himself like his life depended on it. Ambrosius asked him if he was ok and he said he was fine, he just wanted to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. For physical things like that, he'll also touch the object each time he lists it to make sure it's still there.

Ambrosius: He strikes me as a flappy hands kind of guy. When he's super excited or stressed he starts flapping his hands to regulate some of that emotion. He's only started doing it freely recently but he's always found subtle ways to express it. Like doing jazz hands/waving his hands around while talking excitedly or shaking his pencil during stressful meetings or tests. He also really likes soft textures/things. I can see him rubbing his hands over a nice fabric for as long as he can until someone pulls him away. Whenever they watch a movie on the couch, he likes to hug a pillow even tho Bal's right there. I can also see him really liking stuffed animals; he probably had a bunch when he was a kid, had to get rid of them bc he "was too old," but now has a bunch. They're soft and he can hug them and they're shaped like little friends. What's not to love? Bal is the big spoon, Ambs is the middle spoon, and then all of his stuffed animals are the little spoon lol

Dr. Blitzmeyer (bc yes she is a part of this family and I want to include her): This isn't technically a stim but her most important possession is her goggles. As long as she's wearing them there are no bad lights, no eye contact, and a constant reassuring pressure. They started out as a lab safety precaution, but she realized how much they helped and wears them 24/7 now. The only time she takes them off is for showers and bed. But on bad days when she's too anxious and the world is too much, she won't want to take them off and Ballister has to coax her out of them so they won't bruise her face. She also likes pulling on her purse strap while taking to people in public to give her hands smth to do. She likes to chew on things while she thinks too but has a few stim toys for that so she's not putting lab equipment in her mouth like Ballister. She also likes to bite people she feels comfortable with, like a quick soft bite on the shoulder, but you have to be level 3000 in friendship to unlock that so it's not a super common stim. So far she's only done it to Bal and he was pretty confused after, not upset, just confused.

[severalpossiblemusiks]

@lightineventide and I had a short discussion about understanding how to appreciate different music genres, sports, art styles, etc., and I figured it'd be good to make a big old post about how to understand each genre in it's own right, rather than comparing it to another genre. Which kinda falls into a life motto I have been developing: "you can find something you like in anything you look at, you just have to know what you're looking at". Cause once you learn to appreciate each different thing for what it is, all of the sudden you find yourself liking way more stuff than before.

So for music:

Rock, punk, and metal tend to focus on things like tempo, riffs, and look/attitude. So when looking for what makes a band or song appealing in these genres, those are probably the major cues you're looking for: do the riffs sound cool? Is the tempo something you can headbang or mosh to? Do you like the image they present? Of course with how many subgenres of punk and metal and rock there are, you can find more specific things to look for in whichever subgenre you're being introduced to. Elitists will often argue that a certain genre of punk or metal isn't "real" punk or metal for some surface level reason often repeating to the tempo/riff/look combo, among other reasons. But ignore these people. They're the equivalent of right wingers telling you why something sucks cause it's woke.

Classical and opera focuses on the harmonics and musical framework of the piece. Classical is almost a "meta" appreciation. Rather than just liking the music cause it slaps (though this is a very valid way to enjoy classical music), I found my appreciation for classical deepened when I found myself looking for how the music was presented. Of course this meta level of appreciation requires some knowledge of music theory and classical music forms (why a sonata is different from a concerto, which is different from a symphony, etc.). You can still appreciate classical without all the music theory meta, and I actively encourage you to enjoy classical outside of the meta analysis of the music, cause it beats elitists who think you need a BA in music to like Bach when you can also just go "music go weeee".

Jazz focuses on improvisation and phrasing. Most jazz tunes have a kind of pattern: you introduce the main melody of the tune, you play a verse and chorus, then you improvise around those melodies, and eventually you return to the main melody and finish the song. The improvisation in the middle is usually where the magic happens. Experienced jazz players can change keys a lot, reference other famous tunes (I think it was Charlie "Bird" Parker was a great fan of classical composer Igor Stravinsky, and would find ways to work phrases of Stravinsky pieces into his solos). Some kinds of jazz also feature a similar vibe to rap battles, where two members of the jazz group try to outdo each other in their improv sections (very common in bebop jazz and their "cutting sessions"). So to appreciate jazz it helps to notice when they go into the improvisation sections, and see how they change and adapt the original melody.

Folk music is about as "by the people, for the people" as you can get. A lot of the tunes are simple, the words can very massively, even having two totally different songs for the same melody (for example, "Red is the Rose" and "Loch Lomond" have the exact same melody, but wildly different lyrics). Folk is probably best appreciated when you know the history behind the song, if anyone knows what the history is. Folk songs are often steeped in local culture, so understanding a Scottish folk song will be greatly assisted by understanding Scottish history and culture, similarly flamenco will be best understood when you look into Spanish culture and history, cause these different elements of history and culture will affect the musical traditions and explain why the song sounds the way it does. I found I started to appreciate rap a lot more when I thought of it as a sort of modern folk song tradition: understanding the history of black Americans and the racism and abuse they received and how they used rap to touch on those subjects.

I can't think of more musical genres and traditions to use as examples, but I think this gets the idea across (hopefully). Each music genre is very different, and so to appreciate each genre properly you have to understand where they're coming from. And of course you can skip all of that and go "I like this cause it sounds cool", but for people like me who overthink their love of music, stuff like this can be very helpful, because sometimes you do just have to recontextualize your conception of music and cultures to get an idea of why it sounds the way it does, and that recontextualization can also help you find what you like.

Hope this helps somebody, and anyone who wants can reblog with their thoughts, additions, critiques, compliments, etc.

[eddsworld-the-masquerade]

New music themes for our main characters, starting with Tord. Hoping all subsequent pieces will be easier to make XP This one features a genre I never wrote in before, and a language I do not speak in and neither does Teto. Jazz said it is legible at the very least so, hooray. It's far from perfect and I hope Norwegian people can forgive me for that hahaha.

I'll be posting this, as well as "No Rest For The Wicked" (aka main theme) on my YT channel in July. Since I need some cover art for the music videos. Same will be true for the rest of the songs I'll write. Edd is next btw.

Like last time, lyrics and some ramblings under the cut

There was actually a different version of this song that I ended up completely scrapping as I couldn't come up with a chorus

My biggest sources of inspiration were early Korn, Slipknot and, surprisingly, "Ima's Tower", from The Void OST. The chromatic downstepping mostly. It really does create some angsty atmosphere. When I think about it, the characters themselves do have certain things in common, hm...

LYRICS

Dypt nede helt nederst Av en endeløs grop, Glemt og råtten, Legger min ødelagte kropp. (Deep down at the very bottom Of an endless pit, Forgotten and rotten, Lays my broken body.) En pendel uten snor. Et verktøy, en gang så nøyaktig Kan ikke gjøre en eneste sving Med all makt stjålet. (A pendulum without a string. A tool, once so precise Can't do a single swing With all its drive stolen.) I'm nothing but a shell. (Trapped in a prison cell) A ghost in the machine. (Living off adrenaline) Hope springs eternal, But not for my chest. Burning inferno Is all I have left. 'Cuz I am no longer human. Jeg er ikke lenger menneske. I am no longer human. Jeg er ikke lenger menneske. Sigaretten min sin glør Lyser i mørket, Som jeg prøver å huske Hvordan å puste inn. (My cigarette's ember Glows in the dark, As I try to remember How to breathe in.) Lukter nitrat og svovel Fyller luften. Røyk og krutt Legg igjen et hull i hodet mitt. (Smells of nitrate and sulfur Filling the air. Smoke and gunpowder Leave a hole in my head.) I'm nothing but steel. (It's all so unreal) A cog in the wheel. (YOUR PERFECT IDEAL) Hope springs eternal, But not for my heart. Learn to comply, And play your part. Go metal! THIS IS MY RIFFLE, THIS RIFFLE IS MINE! THIS IS MY BURDEN, THIS BURDEN IS MINE! Hope springs eternal, And mercy divine. Burning inferno, And poison for mind. I am no longer human. Jeg er ikke lenger menneske. I am no longer human. Jeg er ikke lenger menneske. Got nowhere to run, Ingen steder å løpe 'Cus I was never human. Jeg var aldri menneske

For the Norwegian parts, I've put italicized english translation in the brackets underneath. Except choruses cuz those just repeat the english lyrics.

Featured references and idioms:

First spoken verse is a reference to Edgar Alan Poe's "Pit and the Pendulum".

Ghost in the machine: Human consciousness and thought as an entity distinct and separate from the body.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast: People can always find a reason to hope, even in the bleakest situations. The phrase comes from Alexander Pope's poem Essay on Man.

Second spoken verse has words breath in and sulfur. This is in reference to Slipknot's song "Sulfur".

A cog in the wheel: Someone or something that is functionally necessary but of small significance or importance within a larger operation or organization.

This is my riffle, this riffle is mine: in reference to "Full Metal Jacket".

Mercy divine: not a direct idiom, but inspired by to err is human (to forgive is divine) Being fallible and making mistakes is inherent to being a human, and forgiving such mistakes is a transcendent act.

So it's mostly your typical nu metal angst XD Lots of parallels between being human and being a machine. Lots of self-imposed lies and false beliefs. Don't worry, we'll get 'em

[intergalactic-garbage]

i see you've chosen to be into red dwarf today, which i've never heard of, so i'm currently working out from your posts what it even is at all

my guess went from fiction podcast to musical (a la starkid) to somewhat low budget tv show (made no later than 2007 and likely in the 80s)

it seems fun! and i'm also having fun with my lack of understanding of what it is so it's your call whether you want to tell me or just laugh at my guesses :)

hiiii monarch! i love the phrasing "whats this mf gonna reblog today *spins wheel*" :D <3

red dwarf is a sci-fi comedy sitcom from the uk, which aired some time ago. it's something i used to watch with my dad (still do sometimes) - we have all the series on dvd in czech, and the dub holds a special place in my heart.

as do the characters! the cast features dave lister, last human whos accidentally survived an accident that killed everyone else on the spaceship, wakes up 3mil yrs later, and is only accompanied by rimmer, his former insuffrable roommate (now in the form of a hologram), cat (guy who is from a race that evolved from lister's cat which he sneaked on the spaceship (and the reason why he got sent to stasis for 3mil yrs)), totally flamboyant and very stupid mf (i love him), holly (the ships sarcastic ai interface) and kryten (servant robot who learns to be more human and rebel against his programming).

the cast all have their insufferable qualities that make them so very human. lister is just a guy. hes very punk subculture guy who just views the world through very common sense, likes to poke fun at rimmer, and is gross at times :D but very much is the one to be the voice of humanity and just. empathy. real. rimmer is a horrible know-it-all whos a terrible coward and loves to pesk everyone around him (and drop the blame for things he did to himself on everyone else). he has 97 illnesses and isnt allowed in most public spaces

(this is a hannibal meme but applies to rimmer too well.) hes very autistic coded, his parents hated him, is obsessed with becoming a great world ruler/hero/whatever, and terribly in denial of the fact that hes just sabotaging himself in becoming that. also frequently made fun of for not having a lot of sex with women, but it all just comes of as him being gay and horribly horribly in denial about it.

basically, rimmer was only revived as a hologram to be a companion to lister, and was picked to be the person who was best fit to be listers companion for an eternity in space from every person on the ship of red dwarf (which is said to be big like a small city). which idk but if you ask me thats pretty gay.

the sort of core of the show is the banter of them two, and them being polar opposites in a way, but also, despite how annoyed they are by each other, clearly caring about each other.

the third character is holly, the ships ai with iq in the thousands, who exists to provide info on the ship and have sarcastic remarks. sometime in s2 he switches gender and becomes a woman. dont remember why or how. but then she has this horrible haircut

the fourth character is cat. hes stupid, cares about himself, dresses in flamboyant suits (my personal fashion icon), but never to such an extent that hed become actually unlikable. theyre all kinda annoying but that makes it so good :D the fifth character, who joins the cast sometime in s2 is kryten, android who is their maid. hes very kind and caring and they slowly actively try to disrupt this programming, so he can lie and rebel and just. im soft abt it

the entire show is enjoyable bc of the characters and the fact they all share a single braincell, and the setting allows fun sci-fi shenanigans to happen. like a manifestation of their worst aspects in the form of a planet, a version of earth where time is in reverse, and all that jazz - but it all really serves as a setting for the characters and the bits :D despite all that, often theres a deeper thought underlying the eps, like theyre often on the verge of death, or discussing the morality of something. it's all just very british.

and ahhhh i just love them all they have zero braincells and the humour is so special to me<33 and thank you for asking!!! im literally so happy someone asked me about this :3 also please if theres anything that didnt make sense to you or want to ask further about please do <3

[ariel-seagull-wings]

FICTIONAL CHARACTER ASK: DR. TEETH

Asked by @fragglesesamemuppetz2

@softlytowardthesun @thealmightyemprex @moonbeamelf @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa

Favorite Thing About Them: Its very hard to let this guy down. He is always a fun and jolly optimist, ocasionally making self deprecating jokes that still are energetic and reveal a great deal of confidence rather than grimm cynicism or self hate. Dr. Teeth loves himself, the other people around him, and life, and he is always there to support his friends and remind them of their worth.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: The incosistency of his relationship to Classical Music: sometimes he will be alright with playing it in an electric instrument, other times he will act like its the most boring thing in the world.

Three Things I Have In Common With Them:

*I can sometimes speak long florished phrases;

*I love jazz and rock and roll music;

*I love colorfull clothes;

Three Things I Don't Have In Common With Them:

*I don't play piano or the keyboard;

*I don't have golden teeth;

*I don't drive a bus;

Favorite Line:

When introducing himself to Fozzie Bear and Kermit the Frog in The Muppet Movie:

"Golden teeth and golden tones, welcome to my presence."

On reading The Muppet Movie sceenplay:

"This is a narrative of very heavy-duty proportions."

This dialogue he exchanges with Fozzie Bear after helping painting his car:

"Fozzie Bear: Are you sure you won't come with us to Hollywood?

Dr. Teeth: Can't baby, but when you get rich and famous, maybe we'll show up and exploit your wealth!"

brOTP: Rowlf the Dog, Animal, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot, Clifford, Lips, Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog, Scooter.

OTP: Dolores (Trumpet Girl), Rowlf the Dog, Johnny Fiama.

nOTP: Janice, Sam the Eagle.

Random Headcanon: He lost his teeth during his military service at the Corean War: there were rocks in the franks and beans served as chow for the soldiers, and he had the bad luck to bite one. At least, that is what he told the sergeant to be kicked out of the Army.

Unpopular Opinion: Dr. Teeth feels more extablished as a band leader in The Muppet Movie than in The Muppet Show, where he worked more as the lancer for Floyd Pepper, who was the most vocal in making the band's demands be known to Kermit the Frog.

Song I Associate With Them:

Can You Picture That

Mack the Knife

Money

Cheesecake

That Old Black Magic

Minuet in G Major

Chopin's Polonaise in A Flat

Favorite Picture of Them:

His puppet posing solo or with the Electric Mayhem band

These fanarts by @downydig portraying him paired up with Rowlf the Dog

[burlveneer-music]

EABS meets Jaubi - In Search of a Better Tomorrow - jazz innovators from Poland and Pakistan collaborate on what may be the world fusion album of the year

A few years ago, a very interesting relationship began to develop. A bridge was built out of Jaubi's releases on Astigmatic Records and the increasingly frequent collaborations between musicians from Europe and Asia - out of Latarnik's trip to Pakistan resulting in the widely acclaimed album Nafs at Peace and Zohaib, Dhani and Ali's revisit to Poland, which has been recorded as the EABS meets Jaubi In Search of a Better Tomorrow longplay.

Wrocław and Lahore are almost 7,000 kilometers apart. And despite this immense distance that separates the EABS and Jaubi musicians, the two bands find a surprising amount of common ground that determines their musical explorations. These include both a strong attachment to locality and respect for tradition, a penchant for weaving in some hip-hop elements, and the basis of a love of improvisation and spiritual jazz. It was therefore only a matter of time before they joined forces. And so, they proceeded to build a (cross)cultural bridge between Poland and Pakistan. A bridge whose pillars are Hindustani ragas, polish jazz understood in a variety of ways, and brotherhood in sound. This merger's finale is surprising to such an extent that it is difficult to pigeonhole this collaboration in any way. They met through the Get Your Jazz Together programme, which was launched by the Adam Mickiewicz Institute to help build such bridges. The following day after Jaubi's premiere concert at the OFF Festival in Katowice, the musicians went to Monochrom Studio in Kłodzko Valley, where they spent a week making music together, exchanging ideas and compositions. The outcome of the collaboration surprised them all, materializing in rather dark shades. So how did this happen, given that the recordings were realized in picturesque natural circumstances mid-summer? It was only yesterday that the pandemic restrictions were lifted, the inflation is raging, Russia has invaded Ukraine and no one in our region can be sure of peace anymore, while Pakistan has faced the worst floods in years. So much upheaval has been delivered by the world in recent times that the experience of the past has left its mark even on a sunny present day. Against all odds, however, the musicians are seeking solace, hoping that the tomorrow that is yet to come will finally bring something better. Even after the darkest night, however, comes day. It is known to the group from Lahore, who, often challenged by life, have already sent prayers for peace through their previous album. This is also known to the band from Wrocław, whose musical paths are inextricably bound up with the difficult and painful history of their homeland, and who have already experienced the era of unearthing their foundations and cosmic escapism in the spirit of Sun Ra. Today, they are walking swiftly towards the sun, all together, a group of eight artists whose lives are separated by their place of birth – the cultural education they received and the musical tradition they grew up in – but who are united by that one phrase, melody or emotion which gave origin to each of the compositions collected on the album titled In Search of a Better Tomorrow. Members of EABS: Marek “Latarnik” Pędziwiatr - Grand piano, Fender Rhodes Mark II, Nord Stage 2, Moog Voyager; Marcin Rak - Drums; Paweł “Wuja HZG” Stachowiak - Bass guitar, Moog Little Phatty; Olaf Węgier - Saxophones: tenor, sopran; bass clarinet; Jakub Kurek - Trumpet; Members of Jaubi Ali Riaz Baqar - Guitar Kashif Ali Dhani - Tabla, Vocals Zohaib Hassan Khan - Sarangi Graphic design: Sainer Text: Filip Kalinowski Translation: Magda Marcinkowska Photo: Hubert Misiaczyk

[in-the-pocket]

[ A little OOC post to explain a concept/answer a question I've gotten for a long time that's integral to this blog ]

"What does 'in the pocket' mean?"

A few things.

No matter that genre, what instrument, the concept of the "the pocket" is universal. However, it's a more common phrase in the jazz, R&B, blues and rock communities because those genres "play" more. Play as in experiment and deviate.

(In classical music, when we talk about a musician's uniqueness, we're usually referring to their interpretation of a piece. Yo-yo Ma is incredibly talented. He plays the works of Bach exactly as they're written, without adding extra notes and such. But what he does do, is interpret. He draws out notes, he can change intensity of his bowing, he adds more vibrato and emotion to the charts.)

When a group of musicians is locked in with one another, playing in time, really feeling the music, you could say "damn, those guys are really in the pocket right now...".

In the rhythm section in particular though, it also can refer to the musician's understanding of the rhythm of a song. Everyone understands and holds onto the pocket differently. (Personally, I enjoy adding triplets and basic rudiments into spaces. It feels like sprinkling a little treat in every once in a while, and someone really listening will notice and go 'oooo yes very nice very cool.')

Drummers/bassists who follow along to a basic beat but fill it in with all sorts of "fancy playing" while still staying in time, are the definition of in the pocket. Their hold on the rhythm is so strong that they can fill in the tiniest of spaces with extra flair that sounds good and adds dynamics/layers to the song.

It's much more "complicated" than that, because we can get into subdividing and changing time signatures and stuff but that's the basic idea!

[sheetmusiclibrarypdf]

Bossa Nova Bass Lines (1/2)

Bossa Nova Bass Lines (1/2)Best Sheet Music download from our Library.The Bass LineBest Sheet Music download from our Library.Bossa Nova Classics

Bossa Nova Bass Lines (1/2)

In Brazil, the word bossa is old-fashioned slang for something done with particular charm, natural flair or innate ability. As early as 1932, Noel Rosa used the word in a samba: "O samba, a prontidão e outras bossas são nossas coisas, são coisas nossas." ("Samba, readiness and other bossas are our things, are things from us.") The phrase bossa nova means literally "new trend" or "new wave" in Portuguese. To read more about the history of the Bossa Nova, please refer to the Wikipedia. In order to explain in a documented way the function of the bass in this style, we must make a brief comment on its origin: Bossa Nova was born in the '50s, from the fusion of Brazilian music with Jazz, and it spread and consolidating in the following two decades, even attracting the attention of numerous musicians from other cultures. One of the major innovations of bossa nova was the way to synthesize the rhythm of samba on the classical guitar. According to musicologist Gilberto Mendes, the bossa nova was one of the "three rhythmic phases of samba", in which the "bossa beat" had been extracted by João Gilberto from the traditional samba. The synthesis performed by Gilberto's guitar was a reduction of the "batucada" of samba, a stylization produced from one of the percussion instruments: the thumb stylized a zurdo; the index, middle and ring fingers phrased like a tamborim. In line with this thesis, musicians such as Baden Powell, Roberto Menescal, and Ronaldo Bôscoli also understand the bossa nova beat as being extracted from the tamborim play in the bateria. They have also “played” with Bossa Nova from Ella Fitzgerald to Estopa, through Stan Getz, Charlie Parker, Sting, etc. Although there is a free fusion between the two styles, what has apparently happened is that Brazilian musicians have taken advantage of the harmonic and melodic richness of jazz to use it over their own native rhythms, which are already rich enough. Despite this, Bossa Nova is not “Jazz with a Bossa rhythm”, but rather it has its own harmonic and melodic personality, although it is fueled by Jazz. Some scholars of this genre claim that the rhythm of Bossa Nova is the same as Samba, but slower. Without trying to determine one thing or another, what can be seen is that both rhythms are significantly similar, but with a difference in speed. Samba is the Brazilian rhythm par excellence, and perhaps the main representative of the country's folklore. But the important thing, in our case, is the instrumental formation with which this style was originally performed: the Escola do Samba.

The Bass Line

In this formation there is no bass, it is composed only of percussion and wind instruments, so what we try to do is fulfill the function of the left-handed player.

The "zurdo" of a percussion instrument, the largest in the “school”, and the one with the deepest sound. In Bossa Nova, and also in Samba, (only at different speeds), the "lefty" plays this rhythmic pattern:

As we see, the pattern is composed of a dotted quarter note, followed by an eighth note, and this formula is repeated successively. But apart from the duration, there is a very important difference between these two blows.

To hit the left-handed head, it is common for the player to use a piece of hose instead of a stick (yes, common irrigation hose), well, to play the dotted quarter note, the player simply hits the head, but to play the eighth note, you do it with your other hand resting on the head. This results in a completely dull sound, more similar to hitting a piece of wood than a head. This expression is what we should try to imitate. To do so, we must mainly control the volume (finger pressure) with which we play each note:

On the other hand, playing the dotted quarter note as a “normal” note, and the “muted” eighth note, will give even more similarity to the left-handed sound. To play a muted note, we will rest our finger in the same place where the normal note would go, but without actually pressing the string, or rather, pressing it so gently that we do not come to rest it on the fretboard (the fretboard is the part of wood where the frets sink). The degree of “muting” of this eighth note is different depending on the player, some bassists play it completely muted, and others hardly mute it, although they do play it much shorter and softer. So that you can practice this rhythm and the muting of notes, we have prepared a simple exercise.

In this first installment, we will not go into more complex fingerings, and we will always use finger 1 for the first note and 3 or 4 for the second. In this exercise the important thing is the rhythm, and trying to get the correct accentuation for the notes (stronger and softer). Regarding the second note, we can use finger 3 or 4 interchangeably, since it is a type of position that allows it. If you are used to using finger 4, you will find it more comfortable, otherwise, you can use finger 3 without problems.

To listen: One of the best ways to learn to play a style is by imitating those who do it well, it is difficult to determine who does it well and who does it badly, but it is good to keep in mind that the main distribution of Brazilian music that is has made in the world comes, curiously, from two countries: Brazil and the United States. Thus, it could be said, or rather, it is openly said, that there is a more “American” (North American) way and a more Brazilian way of playing Bossa Nova. This difference is impossible to describe, but we will notice it when we listen to it, especially in the drums. Taking this into account, it is interesting to listen to authors and performers such as Antonio Carlos Jobim, perhaps the main exponent. Joao Gilberto, Elis Regina, Eumir Deodato, Baden Powell, Artrud Gilberto. In more recent years, Brazilian musicians such as Djavan or Gilberto Gil have also played this style a lot. In the field of Jazz it is also common to find Bossa Nova performed by North American musicians, although there may not be an exclusive interpreter of this style, almost all Jazz musicians have at some point played songs such as “Chica de Ipanema”, “Blue Bossa”. ", "The Shadows of Your Smile", "Desafinado", "Black Orpheus", etc. Below we show the same score with tablature for electric bass.

Bossa Nova Classics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm3zaDcJ34E Vocals: Laura Vall Guitar: David Irelan Drums/Percussion: Mike Papagni Bass: Thomas Hjorth Video edited by Laura Vall and Thomas Hjorth Audio mixing and mastering by Laura Vall at Freya's Garden Studios, Joshua Tree, CA. SONG LIST 00:00 - Samba Em Preludio 04:50 - Tarde Em Itapoã 10:00 - Tristeza 14:17 - Eu Sei Que Vou Te Amar 18:33 - Aquarela Do Brasil 23:14 - Tuyo 26:22 - Upa Neguinho 28:55 - Once I Loved 34:25 - Fotografia 37:40 - Berimbau Read the full article

[ocpjazz]

Basic Theory

I started by learning some very basic jazz theory. The fundamental components to constructing a piece of jazz music are the chords and the harmony, much like any other genre. In jazz, a particular emphasis is placed on seventh, eleventh and even thirteenth chords as the building blocks for a harmony. Chord progressions are fairly simple; they typically follow a ii-V-I progression, though other iterations are common. An additional feature associated with jazz is the turnaround; the two bars at the end of a phrase that help the player transition to the next section of music, or harmony. My piece made use of these.

[thepyramidsplayhouse]

The G Museum

Written by: Lauren Taylor   

June 04, 2023; 4:44PM

Jaylon Givan, although he may currently be most known for his youth dance mentorship and work, he has recently received widespread acknowledgement for much more. Givan has an extensive background in the study, history, and production of dance. Refusing to block his blessings he entered into the world of dance production one step at a time by first submitting an entry to participate in an underground dance showcase, hosted by Club Muv in Atlanta, GA. Even with his experience and knowledge, Jaylon was surprised and elated to have been selected to present his work at this new yet legendary establishment.

He reflects on a period of time while living in San Francisco, CA where he planned and dreamt of producing choreographic works for groups of dancers and to present in historical spaces. Jaylon recalls listening to Summer Walker’s ‘Grave’ one of the songs used in creating The G Museum. He wrote his visions and dance phrases in his journal while taking the bus to ballet practice (2019). Up until his move to Georgia, Givan has worked mostly with children while participating in commercial, freelance, and training.

“So, imagine not creating art but wanting to do so for all those years…knowing that you have the tools and knowing your capabilities but it’s not the time, and sometimes it’s just not the time and art is meant to be that way.”

After finding out his work was selected, he started this journey by piecing together all of the ideas he’d been coming up with over time. The most recent addition then being the selection of the second song used in The G Museum, Cleo Sol’s ‘When I’m In Your Arms.’  “I just remember how it made me feel” [reenacts choreography from song]. Givan speaks about the alignment in performing at Club Muv to very intentionally provide movement, culture, and style all while having the time of your life in the club.

“Aint no party like a dancer party, let me just stop and say that”

Jaylon’s next hurdle was to find the number of dancers needed in order to make his long time vision come to life. It was important to him that, like many of his instructors, he provided a space where the dancers each got to work within their own palette each time the work was performed. His choreographic layers and approach is less common within commercial performances. Only nine dancers are routinely allowed in these showcases yet, Givan presented with fourteen. “So It was a party on that stage as you can see.” Givan’s choreography, although mostly technique, is not boastful. A concert style production with hints of street jazz and contemporary and influences from the 1920’s for grouping and staging the piece is tied together quite tastefully by the music choices. Selecting two songs from the most popular female R&B artists of this generation allowed for relevancy to its’ audience in person or online. The delicate placement and staging of these many intricate details, blended together effortlessly, created a museum. The audience is entranced in a dreamy, elegant experience worth witnessing what one might consider a sculpture garden with the opening position lending itself to represent what one might consider a sculpture garden. 

Three words Givan used to describe the process of workshopping with the other dancers was peaceful, easy, and fluid. Being the “conductor of the space,” he considered that experience being one of simplicity. Nothing about it was stressful.” In 2.5 weeks Jaylon and his cast were able to learn and perfect The G Museum, being sure to highlight their own ability to embody the story by almost becoming guides and in a way angels interacting in real time to involve their audience in a full experience of entertainment & curiosity. They performed The G Museum live and for the first time on Thursday, May 18, 2023.

Since showcasing his magnificent capabilities, Givan and his cast did agree to another presentation at Xcel Studios where they truly dove into the performance and characters of the project without the audience. The group had the luxury of utilizing a larger amount of space to occupy throughout the performance. The cast has received several requests to present The G Museum in locations other than Club Muv. However, he considers the option to simply “take your time” in moving forward with opportunities and what he considers blessings that he has most recently received, “because art takes time.”

“Thats why this piece is so powerful, because it had time to brew for all those years.”

Before it is complex it is is simple, for Givan, “dance is movement and we all move.” This fact coupled with culture are the two greatest influences to him. By choosing to step out on faith and the previous results of his hard work, Givan reports having experienced his life drastically changing. This moment specifically taking place for him in the shower before the showcase. He remembers crying immediately after walking off stage and releasing all of his old burdens while simultaneously reliving the first time he received a standing ovation and tears as a response to his performance.

“I knew that people would receive it well let’s be clear, I did know that. But, what I knew and what God knew was 10x’s different… He takes in account your desires and then He multiplies them.”

-Jalyon Givan

Dance is an art form and appreciating art in depth is a learned action. How art is appreciated can be objective and subjective and there is so much to experience and understand through the language of dance for adults and youth. More importantly, this is an effort to accredit black dance as an art form that is often mimicked but never truly studied or learned from an economic, geographic, or religious lens in depth throughout history. There is so much to explore. If you have not yet had the chance to witness Jaylon Givan’s The G Museum, it is highly suggested to take a seat and be baptized with his beautiful style and taste in this four minute live group performance.

[thewildeleven]

This was written sometime around 2015. While there may still be solid advice on here, I have to admit there are some parts I would've written differently. I am posting it "as-is," with the original text preserved, because it might help some people pero tinatamad na ako mag-edit.

"Any advice you can give to get better at poetry?"

This question has been asked of me a handful of times (most recently on tumblr), and while I never really answered it in-depth, I thought I would write something about it, once and for all. I'm not an authority on the subject, but I like to think that I write decent poems. So this will just cover some basics, which I think will help those who want to get into writing poetry and actually get shit done.

1. Avoid cliché like the plague--

First off, let me start by saying that I believe avoiding cliché is one of the best ways that you can watch your writing stand out and grow. I also think avoiding it is like any other skill in that one needs practice to be good at it.

Of course, to avoid this pitfall, you will need to know what a cliché is. "My heart is full of love that it might burst" -- that's a cliché. "Your smile is calm; it brightens up my day" -- cliché. "I would give anything just to hold your hand," -- cliché. Hell, even the title of this item, "Avoid cliché like the plague," is a cliché. Basically any line, phrase, or thought that has the air of being overused is a cliché.

As a testament to how hard this bastard is to avoid, even up to this day, I still suffer from using cliché to convey thought. I mean, who wouldn't, right? They're easily understandable, and easily-relatable. I read many people who wrote that their love is like that of the Sun and Moon, or that love is a tragedy worth dying for and everyone should be Jack and Rose and Romeo and Juliet. It's a quick way to "connect" to an audience and appeal to already-familiar feelings that reside in them. It's ready-made.

It also tends to make your poetry as stale as cold pandesal on a rainy day.

I don't know about you, but reading about how a heart was broken the same way for a hundred times over just doesn't do it for me any more. Maybe on the first read it will be nice, even cute. On the second it will still be sweet. By the tenth or fifteenth, going through a heartbreak poem littered with cliché is such a slog that reading becomes quite a burden. You may think that your poem is unique, as such that you wrote it in a room all alone with all the feelings and emotions of a heartbroken human being, but there are others who do that, too.

And I'm not saying your feelings are faked and your experience are the same as others -- they are not, and that's the point. I'm sure they are genuine, so you need a better way to express them and prove that they are unique to you, and you need to distinguish them from the common rabble.

So how do you do this? How do you avoid it?

You stop. 

No, really, I'm serious. You stop yourself from writing.

Once you recognize that your line is a cliché, you stop it before it takes root in the poem. You cut it out like the unwanted weed that it is.

Then, — here comes the harder part, the one that requires you to actually think — you plant a new one.

So when you write "Your smile is calm; it brightens up my day," you think, 'Stop. Cliché incoming.' This is where your imagination and creativity comes in (funny, I seem to remember poetry falls under "creative writing" huh). Perhaps this line could do better with something like,

"Your smile is the steady hovering of a blackbird's wing above aspen — an effortless glide, as reassuring as air."

I hope you agrre that this line already does a good job of expressing the calmness of the smile, how it affects the speaker, and all without that pesky cliché looming above one's writing!

2. Love concrete nouns, marry verbs, make friends with adjectives, and kill adverbs. (also, don't write riddles)--

So once you get the hang of dodging every cliché your brain throws at you, you will need to have a lot of new stock so that you can replace the unwanted ideas. It's like taking the garbage out. You. Will. Need. More. Nouns. And. Verbs. This cannot be understated.

[Okay, quick refresher: nouns are names of things, adjectives describe nouns, verbs are words that denote action, and adverbs (sort of) describe verbs.]

You need concrete nouns and verbs most because when I said that you need to express things in more unique ways, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be "deep" -- just varied ("the more, the merrier!"). It's actually better to keep your poetry as simple and as easy to understand, and what better way than to use concrete nouns and verbs?

Consider Margaret Atwood's "You Fit Into Me:"

You fit into me

like a hook into an eye

a fish hook

an open eye.

— Margaret Atwood, 1971

Atwood uses very simple words ("fit," "fish hook," "eye," "open" used as an adjective) to express the suffering of being in an unhealthy relationship; this imagery is what makes the poem powerful. They "fit" in such a hurtful, perhaps even sadistic way - who would want a fish hook in their open eye?

Now, if that poem was written like,

You said you love me / but I know this is not true / You always try to hurt me / Huhuhuhu

-- then I don't think it will be as popular as it is. I think the beauty of poetry is such that you're free to explore expression; that you can express yourself in ways you have never imagined before, and that discovery is pure joy.

Why concrete nouns and verbs, then? Because they are precise. Because they can easily evoke images and feelings as accurately as you want the poem to be. Remember how cliché are like that? Concrete nouns are easily relatable, too, without compromising the genuineness of your ideas. It also helps if you use more specific nouns. Don't write tree -- write "oak," or "linden." Don't say "flower,"-- say "carnation," or "chrysanthemum." Don't write "bird" -- write "robin," or "rook" (yay Sylvia Plath!). It adds more character and nuance.

Abstract nouns can be misinterpreted; when you write "love," or "sorrow," or "sadness," it means a lot of things to different people. But if you want to get your feelings across as precisely as you want, you use concrete nouns and verbs. When I write "Your love is a journey that always leaves me heavy," people can interpret it as a bunch of wildly different things. But when I write "Your love was such a journey, and I am the sleepless horse, dragging carriage," it gets a more specific point across. Everyone can imagine what a sleepless horse dragging a carriage feels like; you would not interpret the poem in any other way. Or, at least, not without the pitiful image of a very tired and thirsty horse -- which is how I, the writer, would like you to exactly imagine it (as such). Concrete nouns and verbs serve this purpose.

Why avoid adverbs? I won't ramble too long about this, as there are times that it really is unavoidable. I still use adverbs sometimes (can't help it if there's rhythm to consider).

Adverbs are words like "gently," "softly," "slowly" -- and to avoid them is just good practice in general, because adverbs are shortcuts. When I write "I wanted to touch her hair softly," I'm being lazy, shortcharging -- basically cheapening the experience. What the hell is "softly"? Readers need to know.

If you can, try weeding out adverbs in your writing. You'll find that you will stretch your mind in ways that can help you improve.

"My fingers shall be dandelions upon your hair, blooms caressing bright tresses worthy of such light and gentle innocence" -- that's how "softly" I wanted to touch her hair.

You may have noticed that in this part, I was all about getting your point across precisely. That's because most people, when new, think that poetry is all about being enigmatic. This is like me in the past, like using obscure words and writing "mysteriously" make for the best poems. No! It's actually the opposite-- it’s about letting your readers experience your emotions in a unique but very understandable way; it's a way of sharing with them the experience through phrases that would easily resonate with them!

Do not write like a riddle-maker -- if your reader scratches his head after reading your poem, then you have failed as an agent of expression.

Another point: does this mean that you have to expound and transform every single cliché and abstract idea into a concrete form that the reader can relate to? Maybe not entirely, but this decision I would leave to you as an artist — it's your call. This is poetry, after all, and you still have to consider rhythm and meter.

(I will not talk about meter and rhythm because those two are entirely different beasts and I can write volumes on them that won't fit with the general practical approach of this write-up. Although, one practical advice I could give is listen to a variety of music. Pop, hip-hop, waltz, jazz, ambient, and maybe even some metal -- those will help your head get a feel for rhythm).

3. Let it sit, and revise, revise, revise

By the time you think the poem is finished, you will get this uncontrollable urge to post it or publish it immediately (maybe in an online outlet like this one, Facebook). My advice is, don't. Just don't.

Let it sit for at least twenty-four hours, then read it again. I promise that you will see different patterns emerge; you'll find a better choice of words for a particular passage; better imagery; a better sequence; etc. Basically, you'll see your poem in a different light. Do not be afraid to experiment and revise!

You don't need to post them immediately; think of posting them in this barely new-born state as pre-maturity. They may be a bit okay, but you have to believe that they can still be better.

If at least twenty-four hours has passed and you really don't see anything you can change to make it better (of that, I'm highly doubtful), then that's the time you can say with confidence that the poem is done. You have said all you need to say. Nothing left out of that particular idea or theme anymore. Then okay, go. Post.

But like good food, poetry takes time. At least remember to let yours simmer. 

4. A change of environment or writing implements will do you good

A lot of people probably exclusively write with laptops and/or phones. Maybe they use paper and pencil, too, but never for creative work (academic stuff, etc). But try it -- I know it sounds like pseudoscience or overly-emotional bull, but there is a certain… sublimity in writing with paper. There was this poem that I wrote ("Aokigahara") that was written on paper first and then transferred on laptop. It looked like this incomprehensible ramble of shit when it was first conceived, but it turned out decently — thanks mainly to the writing being a different experience than usual. Similarly, if you're one who always writes with paper-and-pen(cil), try writing a poem exclusively on a phone or computer, too! See how it turns out.

Also, this advice I would give with such pain in my heart because I don't like going out of my room, but — GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND GET SOME FRESH AIR YOU MEME-INFESTED FHFJASGFKAHASAHJAH

There.

5. Read a lot of poetry

Kailangan pa bang i-memorize 'to? Read, read, read. Aside from learning a lot, you will find that voices matter, and everyone's voice will help you grow. Read the classics. Read contemporary. Read beatnik stuff. Cry to "Ang Huling Tula Na Isusulat Ko Para Sa'yo" for the last time, decide that while it is a good spoken word piece we should not all emulate it because that will make for a homogeneous poetry community and that will suck balls because everyone will be crying and everyone will want to die. Then watch  slam poetry. Admire people. Be inspired. Everyone's voice matters (except those who still cling to cliche because they neglected point number 1). Which brings me to my last point:

6. It is not a contest

If you feel bad when you think someone's writing is "better" than yours, or that you find yourself jealous at how some people use words better than you do, then you're not writing in the right attitude, (wo)man. It's that simple, you're simply not. I can't give further advice regarding this because a.) you will wallow in self-pity and self-deprecation no matter how much I tell you that this is not a contest and, b.) your poetry will always suck because they are written in the spirit of impressing other people and not entirely about expressing and creating stuff. You disgust me.

Heh, kidding aside, just get out of this hole. There's really not much I can say about it. Renew your mind. Transform your principles, change your attitude. Be inspired of others instead of being jealous. You'll find poetry to be one of the most sorrowful and the most joyful endeavor you will ever get into (not to mention the least expensive).

7.  ALSO SEVEN DAMN I ALMOST FORGOT PLEASE ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM YOU CRAPTARD DOLTS NO ONE IS PERFECT

Cheers~

[softbiker]

Steve Rogers Oneshot

Warnings: talk about body image/dysmorphia, past ED’s, veganism (idk if that’s a warning???)

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: This is...very self-indulgent. But oh well. A continuation of the Agent 14 series, in which Steve finds another diet he wants to try and he needs some help getting started. As always, let me know what you think! 

Sam finds him one afternoon, staring into the glow of the open fridge, in full superhero stance with his feet planted wide. Nothing abnormal about super soldiers looking for a snack; those boys can really put it away. But this one looks like he’s conducting an interview with the refrigerator contents - in his hand is a small notepad, a worn down pencil stub poised over it, and Sam can see little scribbles and tally marks covering the page.

“Uh…Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve doesn’t turn around, but Sam can see his deep-set frown in profile, harsh refrigerator light illuminating his lowered brows.

“What’re you doing, man?” Sam takes a couple steps closer and peers around those massive shoulders into the offending appliance. “That your grocery list?”

Steve finally looks up, blinking. Absently, he taps the end of his pencil against his chin.

“No, not a grocery list,” he frowns. “I’m just…taking stock, I guess.”

“We do inventory of the fridge now?” Sam sidesteps him, reaching for the orange juice. He still drinks straight from the carton and Barnes can just kiss his sweet ass.

Steve ignores him, sparing only an eye roll in response.

“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, in a way only Steve Rogers can sigh about groceries. “Just got an idea, that’s all.”

Sam sips his orange juice as he watches him leave the room, more worried by that phrase than anything else Steve could’ve said.

**********

“I’m sorry - you want us to what?”

Steve crosses his arms and gives Clint his most authoritative frown.

“I’d like us to try a plant-based diet,” he repeats, looking at the faces scattered around the common room. This little “family meeting” didn’t warrant using the conference rooms on the upper floors; he had let everyone get cozy after dinner, helped dig through the couch cushions for the remote, and then made his little announcement.

“That means vegan, right?” Natasha says from her armchair, eyes on her phone in her lap. She’d started googling as soon as he proposed this little challenge.

“Woah, woah - hold up,” Sam raises a hand, sitting forward on the couch. “I know you’re not asking me to quit eating meat, Rogers.”

“And dairy,” Steve confirms.

“Eggs, too,” Wanda adds helpfully.

“No meat?” 41’s fingers curl into her baggy bacon-print PJ pants. Her lower lip wobbles. “No-no ice cream?” She looks to Clint, who immediately folds his hand over hers.

“There are plenty of plant-based alternatives-” Steve starts, his tone soothing.

“Is this because of that documentary you watched?” Bucky grumbles. He’s leaning on the back of the couch, eyes narrowed at his long-time friend. “What was the name…the one about the athletes who don’t eat meat…”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Steve glares back at him. “There’s plenty of evidence to suggest it gives them an edge in athletic performance, so why not-”

“Oh my god, Steve, we’re literally a team of superheroes,” Sam groans. “Earth’s mightiest heroes, and all that jazz. We’re already mighty! We don’t need this! I don’t need this!”

“That so?” Steve raises an eyebrow. One hand digging into his pocket, he produces the little notebook he was scribbling in a couple days before. “I’ve been making some notes-”

“Oh boy, here we go,” Clint mutters.

“In our fridge, the percentage of animal products is a little over 60% - that’s crazy high, guys.” Steve licks his lips, glancing at the skeptical faces around the room as he flips a page in his notebook. “Not only that, but as a whole, our consumption of takeout and highly processed foods has really gone up lately; the team ate a total of 23 meals from fast food restaurants in the last 2 weeks.”

“You’re monitoring our food, Rogers?” Natasha is looking at him now, though he almost wishes she weren’t. Her undivided attention is not for the faint of heart. Steve musters himself and pushes ahead.

“Look - let’s just try it, give it our best shot and then, in a month-”

“A month?” 41 cries, clutching Clint’s hand. “A whole month? But…but what about Bite?”

Oh. He’d forgotten. Sam and 41’s cherished food festival, held every July - a whole park full of food trucks, unlimited samples, live music. One of their photos from last year’s Bite was proudly displayed on the door of the fridge: 41 and Sam each chowing down on a massive bacon cheeseburger - a cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns.

“Well…” he hesitates

“No. Uh-uh. No way.” Sam folds his arms across his chest and sinks back into the couch cushions. “There is no way you’re making us miss the best event of the year for another one of your health kicks.”

“Sam-”

“Besides! You and Tin Man can eat as much pizza as you want and still outrun a car,” Sam huffs.   “No reason to make the rest of us suffer through another one of your diets. Not to mention that I’m not interested in just eating salad and broccoli…that’s depressing.”

Shoulders falling, Steve sighs and drops his notebook in his lap.

“Okay, well. Sam has spoken,” he says, quirking an eyebrow. “Anyone else?”

“Mm, I’m with Sam on this one,” Bucky shrugs, unbothered by Steve’s answering look of betrayal. “Sorry, pal, I guess I just don’t see the point…and besides, we had to go hungry for half our childhood. I’m not gonna live on rations now.”

Steve folds his hands in his lap, staring down at his knuckles with what looks for all the world like a pout. Maybe he should’ve made the team watch the documentary first…that would’ve gotten them excited. Hell, even he was inspired - after all, if a non-enhanced guy could train to carry over a thousand pounds, surely there was some kind of benefit to this lifestyle.

“Alright, how about this,” he pulls his last card, his last idea. “If I can make a meal that will convince you vegan food is actually good, would you agree to try it for a little while?”

Sam and 41 turn towards each other; he raises an eyebrow, she responds with a shrug.

“We can accept these terms,” Sam agrees. “But you’re really gonna have to wow us.”

“Yeah,” 41 nods, settling in next to Clint. “Bring out the big guns.”

From his place behind the couch, Bucky’s shoulders quake with silent laughter.

“You really played yourself on this one, pal,” he chuckles, shaking his head. Reaching across the cushions, he gives 41 a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, squirt. Your ice cream isn’t going anywhere - I’ve known Steve for a long, long time…” He smirks at a now exasperated Steve.

“…and Steve Rogers can’t cook for shit.”

**********

Steve Rogers, in fact, cannot cook for shit. But he’ll be damned if that will stop him from trying.

He’s swiping through recipes and grocery lists on his Stark pad, wondering if baking his own bread would be as easy as it seemed, when the text comes through.

Hey soldier. I heard you were going on a diet. That true?

Steve snorts and chews his lip, thumbs hovering as he thinks over his reply.

Yeah, it’s about time I got in better shape.

Feeling a bit silly, he watches the little dots in the text bubble as she types back a reply, and tries not to feel too pleased with himself at the cluster of laughing emojis she sent.

Well, listen. I’ve been vegan for a while, actually, so if you need any help I’m here!

An eager leap in his heart, and his thumbs fly over the keyboard once more.

Oh, really? In that case…I’m not sure if I can really handle cooking by myself. I have a terrible track record in the kitchen.

Another laughing emoji. They didn’t teach you that in the army?

Shockingly no.

Someone (Wanda? Peter?) may have told him something about double texting, but he can’t help himself as he quickly follows up his text with another.

Anyways, I’m desperate. And the team is desperate for me to not burn down the tower, haha. Can you help a guy out?

Waiting for a reply, his knee bounces under his desk and he clicks the pen in his hand over and over, hardly hearing the annoying little noise as his thumb reflexively twitches on the button. When her response buzzes on his screen, he almost flinches.

Tell you what. Today is my day off, and I needed groceries anyway. Trader Joe’s in an hour?

**********                                                                                                   

“What on earth are those?” Steve stares incredulously at the basket. “And why are they…not orange?”

“They’re called Hawaiian sweet potatoes and they just grow that way,” 14 laughs as she reaches for a display of squash next to the potatoes.

“That’s not a sweet potato - I know what a sweet potato looks like,” Steve says, obstinate brows crowding together. Shaking her head, 14 just turns away from the squash towards the avocados on the opposite side of the produce aisle.

“Oh boy, you’re gonna learn a lot being vegan…” she sighs. She squeezes a couple of avocados, testing ripeness and feeling the size before she chooses two and adds them to one of her produce bags. With a satisfied nod, she settles her hands on her hips. “Okay, next on the list: tahini.”

Looking at the cart, Steve can’t tell what his dinner is going to be.

“Tahini? What are we gonna do with that?” He wonders what it is, too, but doesn’t ask.

“Eat it, Rogers.” Smirking over her shoulder, she grabs the front of the cart and pulls him along towards the condiments aisle. “What on earth would you do without me?”

“Die a carnivore, I guess,” he shrugs.

“Hm. Tragic.”

 **********                                                                                                  

“It’s practically foolproof - all you have to do is cook this, roast the sweet potatoes, and then we’re gonna throw it all in together.”

“Never underestimate my ability to totally ruin a meal.” Steve says, stirring the quinoa. An adorable scrunch wrinkles his nose as he turns to where she’s dicing the avocados. “Ask Bucky. Even army rations taste better than my cooking.”

“You must be very confident in yourself to admit that,” she smiles back. Cheeks warm, he turns back to the pan with a shrug.

Silence stretches between them for a few moments, the quiet of shared work - from the other room, they can hear the TV playing, occasional laughs from Sam and 41 as they catch up on episodes of Brooklyn 99. Outside the windows, the summer sun sinks steadily lower, golden hour glow illuminating the skyline and filtering into the kitchen. She’s barefooted, chipped blue polish on her toes, and her feet pad lightly across the tile floor as she moves her bowl of avocado chunks over to the island. The little sound makes his heart hungry.

“So,” he clears his throat. “How long have you been, uh, plant-based?”

“Hmm. I guess about 6 months or so?” She taps her fingers absently against the marble countertop as she thinks. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Wow. Why did you start?”

“Someone dared me,” she winks at him. “No, but really. A friend challenged me to do it with her for a month…and then I realized I felt great and didn’t miss the animal products so much.” She shrugs. “I had more energy, I felt stronger, my skin looked amazing - trust me, after a week, you’ll practically be glowing.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder with a melodramatic flair, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, a playful smile dimpling her cheeks.

He laughs with her, shaking his head. “Oh, thank god. My skin is a nightmare.” His sarcasm sparks her laugh again, and it inflates his chest even more. He feels light, easy, weightless as the dust motes floating through a sunbeam between them.

Her giggles die down when her phone timer buzzes, signaling her to check the roasting potatoes in the oven. Sidestepping him, she leans down carefully in front of the open door, waves of heat assaulting them both as she pokes and prods the vegetables with a spatula. “Perfect,” she closes the oven door with a satisfied nod. “Just a few more minutes. And it looks like that’s almost done, too.” She gestures to his pan and hands him a lid to cover it. “You can go ahead and turn the burner off - the water has cooked out, so we’ll just need to let it sit.”

With the rest of their ingredients prepped and waiting in a neat row on the island, they slide onto a pair of barstools as 14 sets another short timer on her phone. Steve takes a sip from his beer, leaning an elbow on the counter as he turns to face her.

“Have you always liked to cook?” he asks. In his mind, there are a million questions - they roll over each other, constantly trying to push their way out of his mouth, his overwhelming curiosity wishing he could crack open her shell through sheer force of will. Instead, he drums his fingers against the counter, picks at the label on his beer bottle, scratches his beard, and waits for her to speak.

“Oh, no, not at all,” she laughs at the question. She’s not facing him, but she smiles, fingers lightly tracing the stem of her wine glass. “Actually I used to hate it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Surprised?”

Steve is surprised - her kitchen confidence certainly impressed him. Not once has she consulted a recipe, or googled how long to roast potatoes in the oven, how to make lemon tahini sauce. Things that would’ve left him completely stumped and likely going hungry.

“A little. You really seem to know your way around a kitchen, that’s all.”

“Well…” she takes a deep breath, and he can see the shape of it forming in her mind: whatever it is she’s about to tell him, whatever she’s preparing to say - it matters. With a fortifying gulp of wine, she knots her fingers together and forges ahead. “I used to have a lot of…um, body image issues, you know? Super critical of myself, low self esteem…it got pretty bad for a while.” She doesn’t elaborate, because he doesn’t need to know and how could she even begin to tell it? Too many cups of coffee and too few meals, the feeling of a toothbrush in the back of her throat. It hurts her now, the memory of that girl who thought that making herself less would somehow make her enough. She reaches for the wine again. Steve stays quiet, his eyes watchful and soft. It hurts him, too.

“Yeah?” he murmurs.

“Yeah.” Glancing at him, she licks her bottom lip, before turning her eyes back down to her hands. “Anyway - cooking helped me learn how to actually take care of myself.” A half-hearted little shrug, a self-conscious smile. “That’s really all there is to it.”

He nods, holding her gaze, his eyes flicking back and forth between her own. Her shoulders curl where she sits a little hunched at the stool, bare feet tucked up on a bar that ran between the legs of the stool, one knee bouncing rapidly. A minute ticks by, then two, the kitchen gone quiet and warm, hazy with the smell of a good meal.

“You know, a long time ago, before I was…this-” He gestures to himself, his big shoulders and tree trunk thighs, the massive everything of him. “- before the serum, well, I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures. Or a documentary,” he smirks, a little rueful. “I was less than half the size I am now - short, skinny, no matter how much I ate my ribs stuck out. Buck used to try to help me train, doing pushups or learning how to box, but I was still so weak. A strong breeze could’ve knocked me over, probably - plus, I had asthma, and I was always getting sick with one thing or another…honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t die before the army got me.”

It coaxes a mirroring smile from her, one elbow propped on the island. She shuffles on top of the stool, turning to face him fully.

“I thought…I don’t know, I thought I’d feel…different. Better, once I was stronger.” He shakes his head, chuckling at himself. “But it was more like…I was just in the wrong body. I kept bumping into things, hitting my head on doorframes; I took up more space than I thought I should.” Letting go of his beer, he spreads his hands in front of him, turning them over alternately and staring at the broad palms, the strong fingers, crisscrossed with veins and scars. “Drove myself crazy trying to sketch. I kept breaking my charcoal, snapping pencils…it was like trying to draw with another person’s hands.”

“Did you get used to it?” she asks. The hand not occupied with her wine glass reaches out to gently take hold of his wrist. A delicate thumb drags across his pulse, and she looks down at the lines of his palms, still uncalloused and pink. Her hand cradles his large one as she brings her eyes up to his own.

“More or less,” he shrugs. “Sometimes I still pass a mirror and do a double take.” More often than he would admit, in fact. He thinks of all the mornings he comes home from a brutal run - double marathons, barely sweating - and sees himself getting into his shower, a god he doesn’t recognize staring back at him.

She nods. She understands.

“Taking care of yourself helps. I think - it never quite goes away, but…” her smile is sweet. Hopeful. “The little things. They help.”

Turning his wrist, he grasps her hand with his own. Her skin is soft and warm; smaller fingers slide between his thick ones. Once, a long time ago, their hands would have been the same size.

Just as he opens his mouth to speak, her phone buzzes, vibrating against the counter and startling them both. As she withdraws her hand, she grins up at him.

“You hungry, Rogers?”

“Starving.”

**********

They take their bowls into the living room, joining Sam and 41 on the couch. Steve does his best with the chopsticks at first, but he still hasn’t gotten used to it. In the name of efficiency, he switches to a fork so that he can shovel the food into his mouth faster.

“Woah - what is that?” Sam leans over to get a better look. He sniffs the air. “Damn, it smells amazing.”

“It’s called a Buddha bowl,” 14 says, politely covering her mouth to conceal the sweet potatoes she’s still chewing. With her fork, she strategically arranges the next bite, collecting a little bit of everything: quinoa, potatoes, tahini sauce, avocado, greens. “Because it’s pure bliss,” she adds, before neatly shoving the next forkful into her mouth.

Steve hums in agreement, his own cheeks stuffed full. His bowl is half empty already. Peaking around 14’s shoulder, Agent 41 licks her lips and makes eye contact with Sam.

“I mean…maybe, we could try making some?” she shrugs her shoulders. “With a little Yum Yum sauce, too, I bet that would be good…” Sam is already nodding in agreement, pulling out his phone to look up a recipe.

“Don’t worry,” 14 smiles, patting her friend’s thigh. “I made plenty for everyone.”

As the other two scramble up from the couch and into the kitchen, she catches Steve’s eye and winks.