#(it would be so much easier to deal with)
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in a mood (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing#i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much.#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper#he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid#but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd#be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think#would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...)#and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish#though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle#ruporas art
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happy big run everyone
#my art#splatoon#salmon run#octoling#oc#big run is so much fun#i got 205 eggs like 4 shifts in#its great#i would like people to lure bosses still#but eh the egg cannons are helping out a lot#the king salmons are also a lot easier to deal with when theres only grizzco weapons in play
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in honor of kakashis birthday i thought i might as well finally release my half finished mini concept of "inverse lost tower where baby kakashi comes to hang out with shippuden era team 7. Badly" because obviously baby kakashi seeing his older self have relationships and happiness that baby kks doesnt think he can or deserves to have pisses him off on such a fundamental level hes so filled with rage he barely knows what to do with himself. not to mention that adult kakashis general outward lackadaisical demeanor also makes him angry because how can they have gone through all the same things and yet he still doesnt take anything seriously etc etc u already know all this. regardless the issue more than anything else was that im not much of a writer so i could never get the words to feel right so it'll probably stay unfinished forever, but take these anyways
#things that didnt make it into the cut but i deeply wish did: sai's nickname for baby kks being ''little bitchass''#naruto#hatake kakashi#haruno sakura#uzumaki naruto#lorillee.png#but anyways naturally this was born from how insanely funny it would be to put naruto sakura and baby kks in a room#as well as my fascination with kakashis character arc#because like having to actually deal with his younger self who is fresh off the heels of obito and rins deaths#while he for the first time since he was like 5 is in a genuinely okay mental/emotional state#like bc for people like kakashi its much easier to be kinder to other people in your situation than it is to be to yourself#and to really be confronted with the fact that he was. quite literally .twelve. when this particular miserable chapter of his life happened#and be able to have more of an outside perspective instead of drowning in the pov of immense self hatred he's had for almost his whole life#esp now that his outlook has gotten so so so much brighter. like to give hope to his younger self that things will get better#that it wont be like this forever that he too can find happiness and fulfillment. that he can move on and it will be okay#as well as evidence to Himself that this is true that his life is astronomically better than its been for almost as long as he can remember#and that its okay and good even to heal. even for him. Well whatever (drives off cliff
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being disabled and having a support system is so important because it turns mundane (and often frustrating) tasks into acts of love.
everytime i clip my nails, i think of the high school teacher who helped me through seizures at least once a week for two years straight. everyday she’d gently take my hands and inspect my nails to make sure i was keeping them short enough that i couldn’t hurt myself while seizing.
it’s easier to be less ashamed of my mobility aids when one of my coworkers spent months building me different canes to use, colored to match my outfits and infused with glow-in-the-dark dye so i’d stop losing my cane in the dark parts of the building.
i eat cheesitz for salt when i’m feeling dizzy and it reminds me of high school, sitting next to my best friend and in the classroom of my favorite teacher who both kept salty snacks in their bags for when i wasn’t feeling good.
being disabled can suck in so many ways, but it’s also brought love into a lot of simple but impactful areas of my life.
#my mom leaves the room when i’m having seizures because it stresses her out#and said teacher above cradles my head in her lap and talks to me whether i’m unconscious or not#my dad gets annoyed the one time he’s called to deal with my seizures#and i think about the boy in my class who barely knew me and still carried me on his back for an entire field trip#because my teacher didn’t have the foresight to see how walking miles would be a problem#i have my first seizure on the floor of random building on that same field trip#and that teacher sits a few feet away and doesn’t do anything to help#while my best friends grips my hand and one of my classmates tucks a stuffed animal under my elbow for comfort#if being disabled has taught me one things#it’s there are people who will love you endlessly without thought#and other who won’t#and when you find those people who will love you it makes life ever so much easier#anyway happy disability pride month#disability#disability pride#disability pride month
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Julian's line of "I needed another womb for the baby, and the only two other people on board were Major Kira and me." is already very. That Man Is Trans. and listen yes you can interpret it as him saying Kira was the only choice, but then it's literally followed up by Sisko saying "I think you made the right choice, Doctor." which I know is supposed to be a joke but the implication IS there that there WAS a choice and basically Julian is trans
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#he's trans what else can I say#his tboy swag is off the charts#and also I love the idea of him being trans and choosing to keep his reproductive organs like his uterus#I feel like gender affirming surgeries including hysterectomies would be much easier to do in Star Trek#so it'd be interesting if he elected out of that one#anyways can you imagine if Julian ended up with the pregnancy#Julian/Miles/Keiko fic where they all fall in love over the pregnancy#also fucking hysterical imagining Miles having to deal with Julian carrying his goddamn baby#I think that'd drive him insane#I think he would suddenly become very concerned about Julian's less-than-healthy work-life balance#I think Julian would be VERY offended when Miles suddenly didnt want them going to the Alamo anymore#im thinking too much about this now actually
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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ཐི ₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ཋྀ
#oooof... it's officially my birthday#and i always have bad anxiety the entire day#just seeing the date on my phone or ipad makes me wanna vomit :///#i just hate it so much....#i know it is dramatic but yeah.. :(( i just dont feel good at all and i never do#it's such a deep feeling of that i am so very unimportant#and all i am is a worthless burden on everyone and i should've never been born#i fantasize abt being important and revered and like...#i feel embarrassed even saying it lmaoooo but i fantasize abt my birthday being inportant#even if i know that as an adult and the older u are the less big of a deal birthdays are#it's just that i missed out on sm of it... so i still wish for it#but i feel silly for even feeling that way bc im asking for too much to be important at all#i feel demanding and unfair and expectant and#it is so much easier to just hate myself and wanna die lmao#rather than ...... disappointment and sadness... even after all of these years i still feel so saf#SAD******#and i see my old friends having birthday parties and dinners with a lot of guests on their birthdays#and they still post on eo's walls and like#i wanna cry..... bc i cant even imagine more than one person doing that for me and barely even that tbh#and ppl.. allowijg ME to be important and centered for one day...? thats batshit insane never would happen#allowing******#i know its oversensitive and dramatic and every year im like god shut the fuck up crybaby#u havent been important for years and years and years get over it%#!!!!!* and i try to do that but still every year i get so unbelieavably depressed#excuse me for still having this childish need to want to be important#the way see all of them be.... 🙄 ugh anyway#i wanna die so i can stop being a bother and a burden and suffer everyday bc im not allowed to exist ����#im really trying to be brave and shut up abt it but my entire chest burns and my heart aches i feel so so so bad i just wanna cry but i cant
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Watched a few "X was surprised by a cat on their birthday/Christmas/another event" videos and now I'm crying 😭😭😭
In all ways but this one, I'm settled in my new home.
#having a cat would make my anxiety so much easier to deal with#and it would make me feel more at home and settled#literally never lived in a place without cats#I'd have to have two though because my roommate and I work such long hours every day that it would make a solo cat lonely#we'd need two so they could look after each other while we're working#i just really want a cat so badly im home alone sobbing watching strangers cry because they have a suprise cat#at this point im about ready to literally beg my roommate for a cat#i cry about not having one every day#im not gonna ask my roommate anymore because i dont wanna annoy him#we said one day and we mean it... but until then i am YEARNING#trying so so so hard to hold it together 🥺 i wont be HOME until we have kitties 🥺
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Blend Michael from the good place
Michael from The Good Place is being blended!!
You cannot save him.
#(why cant michael be spelled like micheal)#(it would be so much easier to deal with)#your fave is being blended#you cannot save them#blend requests#michael#the good place#tgp michael#michael tgp
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jandy nelson, i'll give you the sun | jean anouilh tr, by lewis galantière | @soulinkpoetry | trista mateer, the dogs i have kissed | the bible
#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#the concept of having a complicated relationship with one's sibling.#because ryuuji was the second born and thus the responsibility of taking care of him was given to misao most of the time she found herself-#being jealous of him sometimes. and misao felt very guilty because of this but she just wanted to be a kid for a moment. so sometimes she-#would imagine that she was ryu instead of herself and their roles were reversed because misao would just get so overwhelmed with things-#that this was the only way she could cope with it at times. which is sad in every sense of the word but misao knew that it wasn't ryu's-#fault at all that thing's were this way. it wasn't anyone's fault really but it was so much easier to place the blame on him subconsciously#sometimes because the alternative was blaming herself for not being strong enough to be both a caretaker and a child at the same time.#and that was perhaps even harder for her to think about because misao has always strived to be perfect. and i mean this in everything-#she does. she wants to be the 'perfect psychotherapist' the 'perfect lover' the 'perfect friend' and it is a LOT of pressure to be honest-#to be putting on yourself especially when you are not fully equipped to open yourself up to people about how you are struggling because-#you've dealt with things on your own all your life. but yeah. misao might've felt resentment towards ryuuji even though it was misplaced-#though she also felt a great deal of platonic love towards him and even if the whole world were against him then she'd still be on his side#but misao has been out of contact with him for the longest time and doesn't even know if he is alive anymore. and she is kind of scared-#to inquire someone to find out for her like a private investigator or something. because i think misao would not be able to take both her-#mom and her half-brother dying because at the end of the day ryuuji is her last remaining family member. and he understood her-#in ways that even she couldn't understand herself.
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I’m finally caught up and bro. All the fandom has been going on and on about how horrible Shuro is but like. He’s not bad at all ???
I honestly like him! He’s awkward in his own way and so repressed that it’s insane. I usually hate any of the men whose whole thing is ‘I’m hopelessly in love with a woman who doesn’t seem to really know I exist’ but Shuro seems so sincere about it. He truly likes Falin, and respects her a lot! He’s just so repressed that he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s doing the same thing Laois was doing- making assumptions about how close they were and not realizing that their two cultures had differences in what’s appropriate. 
Yes, I don’t think he truly knows Falin and only thinks he loves her (well, he does love her but it’s more of he loves the idea of her) but I also don’t think he hates Laois as much as it seems. Laois just annoys the piss out of him. The real reason they fought was because Shuro was worried about Falin- a worry that is incredibly well founded!
Idk, there’s plenty of things to be annoyed about with him but I think the fandoms being a little rough on him.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#shuro dungeon meshi#laois touden#I kinda ship it a little honestly#Laois just likes him so much that it’s sweet#I think Shuro thinks he loves Falin and gets annoyed with Laois is because Falin is just quieter and more shy#which is easier for him to handle than Laois’s Laois-ness#but I just gotta say- I think once Shuro deals with some of his shit he would be really into the fact Laois is so unapologetically Weird#I have a soft spot for men that clearly like women that are a little weird
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gender swapped stanley and stanford pines where they're butch lesbians and their designs are almost identical to their canon ones
#gravity falls#theyre already wrestling under the weight of their dad's expectations#they should have to deal with the strict societal expectations of women too bc i said so#ford probably gets a bit more leeway because of her intellect and the kind of 'softer' masculinity she embodies#and she could go to college and participate in the high minded intellectual side of lesbianism#which was in the 70s dominated by the idea of androgyny and rejecting butch-femme dynamic#of course it's not easy for her persay#but /easier/ than what stan has to go through#stan represents the working class side of lesbianism and she has a much more straightforward masculinity#she likes cars and fighting and sailing and cursing. umambigously male interests especially at the time#this contributes to her familial alienation. she cant get good grades like her sister and no man would ever want to marry her#in the eyes of her parents she is 100% a failure compared to fords like 60%#ANYWAY. i could go on but i think thats enough for now#(bill is gender swapped too and absolutely nothing changes about him)
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i saw ur tags earlier and i have, a controversial take for all the stays out there, but. i'll be honest i don't like LVs designs and i feel like they have Not #slayed with a lot of the styles they've put lix in
Me reading this
#No but largely i agree? idk the best theyve put him in was the womems wear one piece which i think was for that mag last yr?#like they dont dress him bad but a lot of what he wears FOR MY PERSONAL TASTE at LV is very....#if it werent LV i think most people would be like Hmmmm.....#like at least the head designer is very nice to him so thats nice#but like yeah overwhelmingly they are still a designer brand that burns clothes and bags that dont sell bc they could never discount#and yk... also owned by evil mega conglomerate lmao its easier to shit talk tommy hilfiger bc the clothes are boring but p much all these#big brands have Questionable Things Happening#but also celebs always work with them and imma still reblog a picture from a fashion show bc i am but a man#and sometimes i like to say things about the fashion outside of any moral standing#<< its 7am you cant get me in trouble for any of these takes#what even were the takes? clithes are questionable but the brand is also questionable but the guy is nice but i am questionable#like i dont begrudge felix his little brand deal but i wont pretend they didnt put a boot on his head#i think the same about lee know and gucci as well and everyone knows my feelings about loewe.... lmao#bye
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this is awesome. I'm so glad this person closed the bulk lot that was going for $20 so that I can now buy every single pony individually for a total of OVER FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS
#seething. how do you read what is basically 'no please don't list them individually I'd like to buy the bulk lot!'#and go okay. time to list every single pony individually#my grouchy grouching#its not a HUGE deal but man. there were so many ponies in here that I've been seeking out for AGES#like scooter sprite. and applejack#big horsey sigh#rant#it would have been so. so so much easier for them to go 'okay which ones do you want' and just. let me pay. close the auction.#and then make a new auction with the remaining ponies. this would have been 20x easier I can't understand why they did this instead#HEAD IN HANDS.
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dave and dave if he didnt have oculocutaneous albinism (thanks dirk for the health complications)
#our t#corvart#both versions cause he doesnt always have albinism in our aus n stuff#dave in our mind is basically just cis boy roxy whos been dirkified. yaoified even. just a little#dude would need some pretty heavy duty perscription glasses/shades ngl both striders would#daves eyes are usually very quick to cross bc hes trying to focus w/o his lenses *that* hard#and again his hair would actually have big ol curls/waves in it very much like dirk but hed straighten it religiously#hed like having it cropped pretty close but hed start getting insecure whenever too much of his forehead shows LOL#which starts happening as soon as the air around him gets any kinda humid. its very cute#hed swear up and down that having straightened hair is just easier to deal w/ and then u catch him fussing w/ it literally all day#so its like yeah. yeah right bud. sure jan. meanwhile dirk roxy hal and rose are in MOURNING#thinking about my sister who had her curls relaxed once and i fully didnt fuckin recognize her walking through the door#i full on thought a stranger just entered the house. terrifying day
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me: "ah yes, time to do some much-needed imagery!"
*pauses*
me: "hey google- what exactly even is "a flat" in britain"
#fr tho#same deal as canadian apartments??#lets hope#fuck i should have wrote this as a townhouse#would have been so much easier#writeblr#writing#wolfstar#wolfstar au#drarry#wolfstar fic#fic writing things#fic writing woes#fic writing#fanfic#britain#hp fic
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