#u havent been important for years and years and years get over it%

[bunnihearted]

ཐི ₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ཋྀ

[luniise-kel]

thinking about how cool and awesome moon stone cassandra couldve been if she wasnt given the world’s worst villain motivation

dropping my whole au / rewrote of season 3 below

uh preface is im sleepy and its almost midnight, so like sorry if some parts dont make sense or whatever

uhh basically, instead of cass trying to like reach her destiny or whatever as like her Main motivation and the only reason to why she Evil and Malicious ive changed it so its more mixed in with her desire to protect rapunzel. i think moonstone cass is cool and i like the idea of her but i really just think her execution was poor mostly because it wasn’t built up as much as it shouldve been.

rewrote cass’s character slightly just so there more empathize on her idolization of her mother, and so when she learns the truth of why mother gothel left her, the knee jerk reaction to blame raps makes a little more sense.

Anyways, Season 3 cass deals with a lot of her issues, i think on the journey to get the moonstone something something happens and cassandra is told that if rapunzel comes in contact with the moonstone she will Implode. Like die. Return to being the sundrop. and cass is like oh fuck, shit, balls, I need to Protect her from Dying. So out of her intense Need to protect Rapunzel she yoinks the moonstone, and (still slightly pissed at raps for stealing her mom but not really she’s just trying to figure out her emotions + rapunzel needs to get away away from this rock) she goes into Evil mode.

Her villain arc is partly fueled by her anger at her own situation, always in second place. her desire to feel love and cherished and important rather than being the 2nd option. However, it is also fueled by her need to provide safety to her friends ,, even if it’s not the smartest choice. Moonstone Cass devotes her entire identify to being the cliche villain, so no one feels bad if like the solution to destroying the moonstone is killing her. she knows that logically the Zhan Tiri is manipulating her but 1. she idgaf and 2. she needs to learn how to control the moonstone’s power so she doesnt hurt her friends.

Tbh boiled now, it’s just cass isnt obsessive with mother gothel and mother gothel leaving her to kidnap a baby because it made like no sense for her character. like instead, moonstone cass grabbles with her identify and place in the world, who she is outside of rapunzel. Also she wants to learn more about her past, yknow, who mother gothel was and is she Worth getting upset over. spoiler she figures out that no, her bio mom sucks booty

Anyways, throughout my version of season 3, cass is trying to figure out a way to destroy the moonstone. She visits Rapunzel often too and pretends to be evil just so she can check in. She angry at her mom but not so much on rapunzel, maybe a little bit but probably more to with simply trying to crave out her identify outside of rapunzel. Same general plot beats happen in s3, but shes more grief driven than anger driven i suppose.

Theres probably a lot i forgot to like, reformulate in this especially w s3 bc i havent had the time to rewatch it and collect my thoughts that well. But, uh, hope u enjoyed. might yap more about my personal gripes with the show and how i think it shouldve been written.

also to add on i suppose, at the end of the series she gets exiled from corona officially, but lowkey comes back to hang out and after like a year every1 is like yeah okay i guess.

[merotwst]

EVEN WHEN THE LEARNING'S DONE AND NOTHING'S NEW !

‹ . housewardens ›

· scenario drabbles

⇝moments that happened in your married life.

[ n: a little something to get myself out of a writers block. not proofread and not very confident of my writing bcs ahaha i havent written in a hot minute + no motivation. this took me almost a week to finish but i still hope u guys enjoy ! ilyyyy ]

⑇

- - - → tw. children (does that count as a tw?????? idk man kids jumpscare in kalim's part)

⑇

riddle rosehearts ‹ heartslabyul ›

it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man and lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. you were aware of this when you said yes to his proposal to spend a life with him forever but as his spouse, it pains you to see him overwork himself sometimes. it wasn't the first time you woke from your quiet slumber at 2 in the morning to an empty space beside you. your feet padded across the cold marble floor through the hallway adorned with photographs gilded in gold of you and him that have been taken over the years. a soft knock at the mahogany doors to his study and a quiet response from the other side permitting you to come in. the tea on the tray you carried made riddle sigh with relief, the tension in his body seemingly fading away. he had a soft smile on his face as he brought the teacup to his lips.

“come to bed, riddle. it's so late.” you urge him gently as you made yourself comfortable on one of the chair on the other side of his desk.

he gave you weary look, “i'm not sure i can yet, my love. there's still so much work to do.”

you let out a soft sigh, “i figured as much.” you whispered, standing up and walking around the desk to give him a soft kiss on the lips, “i'll be heading back to sleep then.” you inform him and quietly made your way back to the room.

it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man who lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. it was rare, however, for him to softly close the bedroom door behind him leaving his study and his paperwork unfinished to slip under the covers and wrap his arms around your form.

“what made you change your mind?” you asked, a loving hand on his cheek.

“you did,” he said with a sheepish smile on his face, “you always do.”

⑇

leona kingscholar ‹ savanaclaw ›

when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse and till death do you part, the title of royal has been embedded onto your name and cemented into sunset savannah's history for all eternity. what you do and say will be seen, heard and talked about by the public. it's your duty to be present, not just for your husband the royal family, but for yourself as well.

so you do your part. you attend the balls, you speak out on important issues that need attention. you smile, you wave, conversing with other country's political leaders and powerful people. you learn to adapt and navigate through the life of a royalty one step at a time. you were doing your best but sometimes it felt like it wasn't enough. and that's when he comes in to yank an ipad out of your hands and snap you out of your trance. he says dwelling on ridiculous articles and getting yourself all affected negatively by it doesn't do anyone any good. that's when he wipes the frustrated hot tears from your cheeks as he sits beside you on the bed, a softer tone now etched in his tone when he spoke, “i know it isn't easy.”

you sniffle in response, your voice shaky as you spoke in uneven breaths, “i'm trying so hard,” a sob, “why does it always feel like i'm always running short? why am i sometimes being treated like i don't know what's happening?”

leona's tail flicks, “did the articles tell you that? or was it the servants whispering in the halls? the people in the ballrooms?” he places a hand on your chin and gently makes you look at him, “listen, i don't know what you overheard or read—but the fact that you undermine your own achievements for the validation of other people is annoying the shit out of me.”

his eyes bore into you as his hands squeezed yours, “you're not royalty from birth, but the amount of things you were willing to change—willing to do just so you can be with me still constantly leaves me in awe. the politics, the royal etiquette and other pointless bullshit takes years to master. you're almost halfway through the progress bar despite being so new to it all.” leona places his forehead against yours, “even if the whole world is against you, i'll be by your side. i've never been more proud to have you as my partner. fuck everyone else.”

when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse. you've done all of this just for him. you would keep doing it just for him because know he'd kidnap every star in he sky if you asked him to. you can cry, you can scream, you can be angry—but he's always there and always will be and till death do you part.

you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in the entire time. and with a raspy voice and a genuine smile, you whisper back.

“fuck everyone else.”

⑇

azul ashengrotto ‹ octavinelle ›

homesickness is something you've dealt with the first time you were practically punted over to this twisted world you now reside in. but over time, you realize that this world was always more comfortable for you. it became home whenever you were in the arms of your lover. you found comfort in azul's arms so gentle and tender around you—as if you were the rarest and most fragile seashell he picked up from the depths of his home in the sea. eventually, you stopped thinking of the life you've left behind. you were happy here and that's what mattered.

likewise, he found his home in your arms around his neck in a warm embrace like the first rays of the sun just as the winter season was coming to an end. but unlike you, azul had access to his home. he just never had much opportunity to come back to visit. his life with you on land was what you both collectively decided on. a house near the beach, but nowhere near where his home is at. just enough to breathe in the salt air and the cool embrace of the ocean breeze on his skin. and on more than one occasion, you've seen him let the waves wash over his feet after he'd come back from work. his shoes in his hands as he mindlessly watched the sun set over the horizon.

“a penny for your thoughts?” your hand subconsciously finding its way to his, fingers interlocking together and fitting together perfectly.

“just thinking of the coral sea.”

“i've told you last time we should go to visit again.”

azul let out a sigh and you knew why he didn't like going back to the coral sea—to several memories of his past littered across every corner of the place. he looked at you wearily, the dimming orange beams of the sun coated his face with a lovely hue that made him look almost ethereal and melancholic.

“it's hard going back there sometimes,” he admitted, his head hung, “it took a lot for me to take you back there... to show you everything i've been running away from.”

“and i love every part of it. every part of you, azul.”

you squeeze his hand gently, “it's never always sunshine and calm seas. and i'm always here to embrace you when storms come.”

homesickness is something azul's never really dealt with in the years he's been away from sea. he was happy to be out of there and start anew—but he didn't have a home. no, he was always relying on himself. but over time, he realized that this world was always more comfortable with you. it became home whenever he was your arms, his lover. you were his new home. and no matter where he would end up, he always finds himself running home to you.

⑇

kalim al-asim ‹ scarabia ›

“baba's here!” was exclaimed by an energetic boy popping out from the blanket fort you all built together. giggles bounced around the walls as little pairs of feet padded along the floor. the children both ran to their father, the younger one trying her best not to trip and fall on her way there. kalim, who was still in conversation with jamil as he entered the room, had been cut off by the squeals and giggles of the children running to his embrace.

“ya malayiki! 'abi saeid jidana liruyatik maratan 'ukhraa!” (oh, my angels! dad's so happy to see you again!) your husband exclaimed excitedly, wasting no time kneeling to catch their warm embraces in full, “have you two been good?” he asked, lifting your daughter up in his arms earning an excited giggle from her and taking your son's hand in his free one before standing back up, “naeam ya 'baba!” (yes daddy!), your little girl giggled excitedly, “we built a house!” she squealed, pointing at the blanket fort. it was quite a big fort filled with small fairy lights and plenty of pillows and maybe a few snacks littered here and there from their 'construction break'. you three had spent hours making ‘the biggest house for baba’ for when he would get back and the kids are evidently very proud of the outcome of their hard work.

“(maman/baba etc.) said we could sleep here tonight!” the little boy chimed in, shaking his dad's hand to catch his attention. kalim could only grin widely at this, “well,” he started, “since you both worked so hard building the house, i say we all sleep here tonight!” the gasps from the kids and the happy cheers that followed indicated the joy they felt. he's always been a natural with them and you always adored him with children. it's just that he can get quite busy sometimes, which even he has told you about how saddened he is whenever he's apart from his family. and so whenever he has time, you can be sure every second is devoted to you and the kids. his whole heart is with you, after all. always has been since the moment he laid eyes on you all those years ago.

“alright kids,” he said, placing a kiss on your daughter's cheek and squeezing your son's hand gently, “jamil will take you to get you cleaned and ready for bed, okay?” they both grinned in response, “okay!” the kids said simultaneously.

“kalim.” jamil gave a disapproving look, “how many times must i tell you that this is the nanny's job and not mine.” he said in an annoyed tone while simultaneously taking the little girl in his arms and holding onto the boy's hand. this is when you come in from behind, wrapping your arms around your husband's waist, “aw, but they like you, jamil. don't you, kids?”

“i love uncle jamil!” the younger one giggled, “he's one of the funny grown ups.”

jamil let out a defeated sigh, “come on, children. let's get you both cleaned up.” he said, softly shaking his head and if you looked close enough you could see the soft smile on his lips as they walked away.

as soon as the silly questions of, ‘when will you get married’ and ‘can i pet your parrot, uncle?’ faded off into the distance, kalim wasted no time peppering every inch of your face in kisses and tackling you to the blanket fort as both of you giggled and laughed like middle schoolers rolling over the soft silky fabric under your skin. safe to say no matter how old you get, the love you and your husband share will forever remain the same as when it first blossomed from years ago.

⑇

vil schoenheit ‹ pomefiore ›

vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. it's the same as when you were both courting. he had a routine to follow whenever you would see each other on a date. flowers, then he'd check if you dressed right, take you out and give you the best night of your life.

and you know how people say ‘change is good’? well, there are also some things that stay the same over the years. and that was good for you, too. like how he'd book the best restaurant in the city or take you out for a romantic cruise on your wedding anniversary. those nights were always perfect. and at the end of those nights is the same as well. paparazzi flashing their cameras at your face asking the most ridiculous questions. people getting in your business. that was the down side of your relationship with vil, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. you knew what you were getting into the day you married him.

but oh sevens. when will they give you a break? it's your wedding anniversary with vil again tonight and he had a whole evening planned out for you. but there was a swarm of paparazzi outside the penthouse you were staying in. your husband had an upcoming movie and that had everyone abuzz and trying to get some statements out of him. there were so many to the point where you both had to go back inside because you could see the camera flashes with your eyes closed. well, you could. vil was used to it. but he wasn't about to force you to run out there with him again. your perfect night hasn't started yet and you already looked exhausted from that temporary encounter. vil silently cursed them for that.

after maybe 30 minutes of waiting for them to leave and with no luck of it ever happening, the blonde stood up from his spot on the couch, “that's it,” he spoke with a tone of finality in his voice, “get changed, darling. we're leaving.”

the confusion was evident in your face and it only made sense when vil came out wearing a hoodie, jeans and mask over his face. he hated wearing such common looking clothes, but sometimes situations call for it. and for you, frankly, he would do almost anything.

vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. he absolutely hated when his plans wouldn't pull through but sometimes he finds serendipity in even the most dreary situations with you. you could spend your anniversary on a special yacht with the best waiters serving you first class meals and a candlelit dinner or just in a parking lot inside your car with cheap wine that you both agreed tasted awful but kept drinking anyway and at the end of the day, everything still works out. as long as you're by his side, he can learn to be contented even with all the disorganization of ruined plans as long as he's laughing to trashy radio podcasts and temporarily (today's a special exception, he says) ruining his diet for you.

⑇

idia shroud ‹ ignihyde ›

your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. you know idia better than most people around you. he wasn't exactly the easiest person to get to know because of his very reserved personality but he is one of the smartest and funniest people you know. and you'd hoped that since he is one of the smartest people you know and you're actually married to him, he'd lend a hand when you're trying to do a little bit of spring cleaning to at least make the house look like it's a habitable place and not just a reserve for an endless supply of red bull and monster energy drinks. though the house wasn't necessarily ‘messy’, but it always seemed pretty empty and lacking a bit of life to it. so you thought of doing a bit of rearranging, putting up new decorations and replacing a couple furnitures which you both had bought and majority picked out by him.

this has been the third time you'd checked in his office and your patience was growing thin. you watched him from the doorway as he typed away some sort of code in his computer which was the only light source in the room. you crossed your arms as you called out his name, “idia shroud.” before flicking the light switch on making him hiss at the sudden brightness. he flinched upon seeing you. uh-oh. you used his full name, this can't be good.

“i've been calling you down to help me assemble the table. i'm not good at building things!”

“and i told you i'd be there in a bit. i'm just finishing things up around here.”

“idia.”

“okay! fine. jeez you don't have to threaten me.” he threw his hands up in the air in defeat as he stood up from his chair, “you're lucky i love you.”

you cocked a brow at this comment, arms still crossed across your chest and he rolled his eyes, “fine. other way around, i know. i'm lucky you love me.” he sighed but this time with a smile on his face as he leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, “now where is that table you need me to build?”

your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. but you know idia better than most people around you. and he sometimes would seem detached and spends most of his time in his own company in front of his computer, he truly cares about you and your happiness. the amount of love he shows through the things he does, even the most menial of tasks like bearing the new, less darker curtain colors that you wanted to put up on the windows or stopping whatever new project he was trying to develop to help you move the new couches around the house. he would never do this for anyone else. and as you both sit under the kitchen counter, a bag of open chips on the floor and soda in your hands looking over at the new house makeover you both spent all day working on, you smiled.

“i'm lucky you love me.” you said, taking a sip of your soda and putting your head on his shoulder. he let out a short, breathy laugh before placing a soft kiss on your temple, “wanna go play mario kart and ruin our newly bought couch with chip crumbs?”

“sure.” you said, slowly standing up. you took a few seconds to stare at each other before you started sprinting to the couch, “last one to get there is in charge of cleaning it up!”

“hey, no fair!”

“nothing's fair in mario kart, babe!”

⑇

malleus draconia ‹ diasomnia ›

you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. you make the most emptiest of places feel alive with love and laughter. you painted his life with colors that he could never see with anyone else.

and speaking of painting, he'd snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the metal part of he paintbrush clinked on the glass of the jar as the painter dipped the brush into the water. he gave you a glance where you were sat, looking straight at the back of the canvas as if trying to bore a hole onto the painting focusing on keeping your face straight and expressionless as instructed. it was traditional for briar valley's royalty to have their portraits painted whenever there was an addition to the family. and this case, the new addition was you when you both married. and now as he sat beside you, stealing glances he was sure you noticed by the way your lips twitched, he couldnt help but think of how the morning sun's rays seeping into the room that bathed your skin with the soft golden glow of the 10:00 am sun. it made you look absolutely beautiful. well, you always looked beautiful in his eyes. it's why—

someone cleared their throat.

“your highness,” the painter called out to him, “eyes front, if you please.”

he quickly straightened himself, “my apologies.” he hastily responded. he could hear you suck in a breath beside him, probably trying to contain the giggle that was trying to escape your throat.

another 20 minutes of silence passes. just the soft brushing of the paintbrush against the canvas and the occasional clink of the glass could be heard. he couldn't help but steal a glance at you again but to his surprise, you had your eyes on him as well. upon seeing his gaze shift to your figure, you immediately played it cool pretending you weren't looking but the way the smile threatened to break your facade betrayed you. malleus couldn't help the corner of mouth from twitching.

you did your little inhale again to try to compose yourself but uncharacteristically for him, he found that quite humorous abd had to clear his throat to keep him from letting out a laugh.

now that made you break out a smile and clear your own throat to try and stop yourself from bursting into full blown laughter.

you heard the irritation of the painter in the way he placed his paintbrush down. he stood up and gave you and malleus a sharp look before speaking in a very annoyed voice, “i shall go and have a drink delivered to both highnesses as to aid you both in the supposed strains on your throats.”

he made his way to the door, grumbling to himself about how ‘undignified’ or how ‘not taken seriously’ the situation was.

there was a moment of silence before you and malleus burst into a fit of bubbly laughter. his laughs were in his chest escaping in low vibrations while yours were loud and sharp simply to show how hilarious you found the situation to be. with how glorious both your attires were for the portraits looking like the epitome of royalty, the way you were both giggling like teenagers simply threw all the gloriousness out the window.

you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. even the most boring events in his life that once he would have been forced to accept in all its blandness would be splashed with the most vibrant colors whenever you were in the picture. his life, his love, his pride and joy—you. now that he's seen colors he never would've imagined to be possible to exist in all its dazzling beauty, he can never go back to the dreary shade of gray that hazed over his life. you were his freedom, and he would be ready fight the world to hear your laughter by his side till death do you part.

© merotwst 2023 · do not copy, translate or reproduce.

[lazyveran]

Kazula cuddles tysm

wrote this out in under, like, 20 minutes and havent reread it but HERE! thank u for getting my brain going anon.

(set in the arranged marriage verse, a good few years along)

“Darling—”

“Five more minutes.”

Katara huffs. Loud enough, she hopes, to rouse her wife from the document that was clearly more important to her than her own wife.

Azula huffs back. Louder, more punctuated (because of course, the blasted woman practiced her sighs, categorised them by inflection and level to convey adequate messages) and taps her caligraphy brush against the table.

“You’ve been working all day.” Katara says, internally denies the whine that carries her words, “And besides, didn’t we both agree to no work in the bedroom?”

Azula flips the parchment, places it neatly in the pile next to her. It was one that had grown in recent days, now obnoxiously tall where it was stacked on the desk.

Her wife murmurs something under her breath. Then, “Would you really have the entire east coast collapse for—” A pause. From the bed, Katara watches her tilt her head (this one was at a forty-five-degree angle – her mocking confusion angle), “cuddles?”

“Yes.”  

“Of course.” Azula sighs. “Water Tribe predilection. It’s a shame I never—”

“Do not finish that sentence.”

Azula sighs again. At once, the second document is placed on the pile, and she turns. Golden sharp eyes, hair straying into her face as undone from its top knot. It was domestic, as far as a woman like Azula could ever be.

It’s that sharp, golden softness that trails down Katara’s bare body, lingering, before neatly returning to her eyes.

“Really?” She deadpans.

Katara smirks. “Water Tribe predilection.”

She rolls her eyes. “And subtlety. Fine—” Azula rises to stand. Clad in her dressing gown, wrists and hands bared to show marred, delicate flesh, she crosses the room. “Though you’ll find I lack the energy for any extracurricular activities.”

A laugh escapes her. “Only you would call sex ‘extracurricular activities.’” Katara watches her wife roll her eyes and grins. “My love.”

She grumbles. “To think I put up with you.”

The red silk robe is laid neatly over the chaise lounge. Bared to Katara’s indulgent eye, Azula finally approaches the bed. One sharp eyebrow raises – expectant, awaiting. Requests or demands, she stills in the face of both.

Katara softens. It was a wonder, sometimes, how easily Azula trusted her, how much she’d give to her if only she asked. She often finds a fear buried deep within her throat, to ask too much of Azula and see the woman break herself apart without a thought for it.

Tempering the woman’s love was something she had never thought to do, in the years past. Since then;

“We won’t do anything, love. You’re tired, I know.” Katara cocks her head. “Only curricular activities tonight.”

Azula loosens. Though her tone is still sharp, “Must you?”

“Yes.”

“I should ask for a divorce,” She climbs into the bed.

“You won’t.”

Azula opens her arms, shifting the silken sheets to accommodate her space, “No, I won’t.”

The heat of the woman is like a blanket in of itself. Katara is greedy, she finds, in these moments where Azula surrenders. Still sharp, but oh so soft.

She wriggles into her warm embrace. Often, she wonders if Azula specifically regulated her body heat in these moments. It was never too hot, never too cold, and wrapped into the soft, steelcord of her arms, Katara thinks this is what Heaven would feel like.

Azula rests her chin on the crown of her head, tangling their legs. Pressed to her chest, she feels a delicate breath leave Azula.

“Thank you,” She murmurs. Those were rare, only whispered in the dark – the only time Azula ever relaxed.

Katara noses along her collarbone. Takes a moment to press a kiss to the halberd wound carved there. When she reaches the base of Azula’s throat, she smiles into it. She gets a shiver in response.

“Someone has to look after you.”

“Mmh,” Hands reflexively tighten around Katara. Often, Azula clings so hard it hurts. “What rotten work.”

A kiss to the hollow of her throat. “Never.”

[sagezere]

I couldn’t find the words to say ‘I love you’.

omg guys its finally a part 3 😱 Finally got inspo to write sorry for the longest wait ever lmao

part 1 here. part 2 here. extra but also kinda important here.

It’s been months. You haven’t spoken to Mona or Scaramouche at all since you caught them in ‘the act’. Honestly it sent shivers of disgust all over your body.

You walked in the halls of your college- even though you shared the same one with both the people that you used to call ‘friends’ you thankfully havent seen them at all.

Taking out your phone and scrolling through anything to clear your mind of the nuisances that you foolishly allowed to be by your side for years, you bumped shoulders with someone.

“Ah, sorry I should have been looking where I was going” you turn around and say apologetically, not expecting to see the man that has been plaguing your mind for this long.

He turned, glared at you for a few seconds before the glare faltered. Both of your eyes stayed connected and the tug of your heart hurt so bad, but you just took a deep breath, blinked at him with the blankest face you could muster, turned and walked away.

And God, did that feel good- that was until you felt a grab at your shoulder, and you were pulled back slightly.

“(Name)…” His voice whispered out, but you didn’t want to turn. You shrugged his hand off of you, and turned your head slightly, just to get that look on his face and you glared.

“Don’t fucking speak to me. You chose to do what you did, so just do what you always wanted me to do and fuck off.” Then you finally walked away from him- with an aching heart of course, but it was finally a step forward. With every step away from him it felt like you could finally breathe, like you could finally feel the weight of all those years slide off and far away.

—

Going about your day, it’s only been about an hour or two since bumping into Scaramouche in the hall. You were so happy to have finally let go of such a burden- having finally broken a promise you’ve made to a ‘dead person’ (if ur confused read the prequel thing or just dont idk)

However happiness was cut abruptly when you were faced with the other half of the nuisance, Mona. You were unsure of your standings with her, she seemed to only be your friend when Scaramouche wasn’t in the picture, but she’d also treat you as if you were some gross bug when he was around.

Seeing her stand in front of you so casually as if she hadn’t just ghosted you for some boy made you pissed off.

“(Name)! It’s been so long, how’ve you been?” The casualty in her voice and actions towards you start irritating you. You give her a disgusted look.

“what the hell are you talking about? ‘(Name) it’s been so long, how’ve you been?’ “ You mock her words in an overly high pitched and obnoxious voice.

“You ghosted me Mona. Don’t come skipping back expecting me to be the same (Name) I was months ago- actually scratch that, I’m pretty grateful.” You cross your arms and look her in the eyes with a glare.

“(Name) look I’m sorry-“ You cut her off.

“shut up and let me speak for fucks sake.” You rolled your eyes, not letting her speak over you.

“You went no contact on me, blocked me from literally everything! Kind of glad you did that for me though, with you and your bitch of a boyfriend out of my life for all those months I realized how fake you are!”

When she opened her mouth to speak- or defend herself you just walked away, not wanting to even hear any more of her voice.

—

yeah sorry this is kinda shit, but like if any of u wanna take inspo or kinda remake this and my other fics into something else just feel free. I honestly meant to keep the first fic as just that, but ppl wanted a part 2 so I made the part 2 and then ppl wanted a part 3 and I was just like ‘damn wth do i do now’ so yeah. Thanks for reading 😭❤️

[wickjump]

do u havea pic of ur blueberry inspired oc,,,/nf

AW MAN unfortunately none i feel comfortable sharing as the oc of him i have is a vent oc and i keep those works locked away in a vault. i have old drawings of my blueberry interpretation, which is more of a projection character who i adore to death.

blueberry is super important 2 me n i love him SOSOSO much!!!!!! he acts just like i did as a child bcuz i was a huge stereotype—and still am in a lot of my disorders, which is lowk kind of isolating because yes not all of us are like those examples but some of us ARE!!!!!!! anywy blueberry reminds me of me as a kid; i was overeager and innocent (i gen didnt process anything ‘impure’ none of that registered in my mind till i was like 12) and things flew over my head a lot. i was blindly trusting and i looked up to people for affection and would cry all the time—generally i was (and still am!) very emotive and empathetic.

blueberry means a lot to me because he feels like me. and the hate he started to get was understandable but it’s been eight years since his creator left (and i doubt they give a shit anymore) and nobody confuses the two. it’s been years since anyone did that—the fact he’s still getting hate is understandable but it lowk hurts in a way. cause he means a lot to me!!!! he’s a character that i want to give a happy family and to see him thrive and his “”innocence to be preserved”” or whatever because i didnt get that!!!!! i want swap to be his adoptive father because i didn’t have a dad!!!!!! i want him to be included and loved and not outcasted for being “annoying”, because i was, and he doesn’t have to be!!!!!

he’s me as a kid. that’s why he’s so important to me,, id defend my younger self against the world but because time travel doesn’t exist he’s my next best option and i love him. i love art where swap is kind and caring towards him—because he would be in canon! swap doesn’t hate kids for idolizing him, goddammit! his entire character is that he himself is ostracized for being “annoying”! why in the fucking world would he do that to a child when he himself knows how it feels to be isolated and to crave friends yet have none?? papyrus wouldn’t, so neither would swap.

i havent seen any fics where this is the case (swap being nice to/taking care of berry) but ive written some snippets of them b4….. i just wish they were more popular as a father-son duo lmao 😭 most fatherless thing ive ever said

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

how do you handle friendships changing? not being able to talk to the people you could talk to before? looking at text threads with your friends and they havent been updated in months? how do you know if it’s over? sorry if this is out of the blue, i just have no one else to ask and i’ve always thought of your blog as a kind of older sister presence :’) thank you for answering this yaz

hi hi hi! 🦢 hmm… i think first of all it’s important to remember that things are not always as cut-and-dry as u feel they are—there are lots of cases in which a friendship can be revived and shaped into something different from what it was before but still beautiful and important. reaching out can be mortifying when conversation has stilled for months but if you know an old friend’s in town and you haven’t spoken in forever but you miss them and want to hang out you really can just tell them so. sometimes they respond & tell you they miss you too & then you have the chance to turn a friendship you’ve both outgrown into something that better suits the needs of the people you are now! i recently reconnected with my elementary school best friends & though we don’t share the same easy, effortless, consistent bond we did when we were small children once upon a time, we make sure to grab coffee together whenever we’re all back in our hometown and catch up on whatever we’ve been up the last six months and it’s actually really nice and was so worth the process of reaching out. it is kind of awesome to see how they’ve stayed exactly the same & how they’re come into their own.

if you do end up trying this & don’t find that your friend is receptive to it or willing to put in the same effort, or if things ended on negative terms & you feel one party or the other was wronged in a way that’s not possible to come back from, or if you’re not really feeling it for whatever reason, then maybe it really is over & it really is best to try letting go—which is easier said than done of course. but it is always a worthwhile task to grieve a friendship that meant something to you… even if sometimes the grief lingers longer than it does for others and even if there are some friendships you never really ‘get over’ in the sense that thinking back on them leaves you with a dull ache for years to come. but i try to keep in mind that the fact that a friend is no longer in my life for one reason or the other doesn’t undo the ways in which we touched each other’s lives or were important to each other when it most mattered. as long as you are alive people will not stop entering and then leaving your life, so i feel like the best thing you can do in the wake of any relationship is honor that you had that time together and cherish the people you once were, allow yourself to think on old memories fondly when it feels right and when you’re no longer waterlogged with longing, and then return to the work of tending to your current relationships and to the person you are growing into day by day, reassured in the knowledge that you will always contain imperceptible but very real traces of those who once loved you and who were once loved by you in return.

i am wishing you well! i hope your life is always filled with the most wonderful friends—both old & new 💌

[doppelgangercomic]

another update. love that for me

hey guys, dan here again!!! wanted to give another update on progress!

so if you follow my main you know im also working on other stories/comics at the same time as dpgii! my dbz oc comic "mirrors" is my current baby that im putting most of my time into. having said that, i kind of..havent been working on any doppelganger pages x'D but theres more to it than just being occupied with another comic, which is what i wanted to talk about!

the original plan for dpgii was that i was going to just do the entirety of chapter 1 as a comic and then stop, allowing everyone to read the fic afterward once they got a taste of the story. then i realized i didnt have the energy or interest to invest into a full chapter, so i decided to compromise with saying i'd do a small scene from each chapter instead. THEN i realized i dont have the motivation for even THAT much...and i left it at the first five pages.

i guess that's where i'm at right now? im kinda lowkey getting back into danny phantom for reasons i kinda talked about on main a while back, so my interest in dpg has been on and off rather than just..off x'D but ive been considering at LEAST, if nothing else, drawing the one scene i was excited for--or...i guess in this case, the whole chapter. chapter 5! it has the most action and the most drama--just like the og comic--and i was really looking forward to drawing it!

so im thinking i might do that :] however this could change too..so i dont want to promise anything! apologies if any of u were excited for a full comic or even little snippets 🙏 its just hard to invest so much time and energy into something i only have a little bit of interest in..as much as i genuinely love it

i guess as a reminder, my main is @eirian, my art blog is @dansaiyanart, and my other currently-running comic blogs are @mirrorscomic and @villain-school! also, the FULL SEQUEL is available as a fic here if you'd like to read what i had planned!

the future of doppelganger is uncertain, but it will always be important to me u_u <3 thank you all so much for the support youve given over the years, it means the actual world to me and was the reason i started making comics beyond doppelganger at all!

[bbu-fan-blog]

Hello to my favorite blog ever do you perhaps have any info/facts about Elaine? I've been digging thru the bbu twitter but havent been able to find much other than her being a lesbian and her favorite food being cheese, so maybe you have more! Thank u in advance if you ever answer this ^_^

Elaine won't reveal, but I can! Er, some, at least.

One thing: some of the biggest info I have on her are spoilers, so what I'll write about her will be just officially released info, and won't be complete for classified reasons. Hope you understand. ^^'

- As you correctly stated, Elaine is a lesbian and likes cheese.

- Elaine is the Pirate Queen of Claw Bay, and has decimated a lot of enemies and crews over the years.

- Officially, her last name is "Corso", like "corsair".

- Elaine used to be respected as a queen, but lost it all after her partner disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Rumor said she killed her, but no one can say for sure.

- She speaks with a Spanish accent

- Despite her cold exterior, she sees her crew as her family, and loves them dearly.

- Elaine has the gem of alchemy (the green one).

- She seems to find Billie's face familiar. Indeed she had met Arthur and Aristotle before, but she was very young back then, so her memories are fuzzy.

- Gold used to be a symbol of pride for her, once. Now it just brings her a feel of dread.

- She's been in search for powerful magic for an important thing. Billie's is the strongest she's ever seen, so that's why she needs her.

- She has a strong vitrol towards Scrimshaw, reciprocated by him. The cause for such tension is a huge event that happened years earlier.

- Her most treasured item is a golden statue...

- On Mario Kart Wii, she'd main Daisy.

- Not a fan of candy, but she'll eat a hard one or two.

- Favorite sandwich is sauerkraut and mustard sandwich

- She's got no magic of her own, unlike Billie herself.

- Not a huge fan of hugs, but she'll allow them with an "I give up" kind of gesture with her hands.

- Elaine is a serval, one of the fastest cats in the world.

- On her forehead there's a group of spots that resemble a skull.

- She's probably ticklish, but just try to touch her and she'll get really angry.

- It's generally hard to make her laugh. Overall, I'd say she's the most serious and hard-nosed main character of BBU.

- Her name is a nod to Elaine Marley from the Monkey Island series, and was inspired by Tempest Shadow from the MLP movie.

- Apparently she's one of the first characters ever designed. If Ash could, they'd make her taller and give her a different outfit.

- She'd avoid catnip at all costs.

This is all I can share, for now. Sadly a lot of her more interesting stuff, it's Patreon info or not revealed yet. But trust me, you're gonna love her! 💚

[camzverse]

.......Oh buddy...... I believe u've got some tea to spill, >:3

lol.... anyway u call? :P

YAYY OK SO. (side note i only just came up with this today so its not THATt fleshed out but ive been thinking about it like all day so i have many ideas)

so like. it all starts w vanessa. basically when she was really young her parents worked for fazcorp technologies (au equivalent of oscorp) and idk. they die for reasons related to their work there. Who knows whatever its really not important to the au. anyway so vanessas parents r dead now and she moves in with her aunt and uncle in typical spider-man fashion ykyk. eventually shes grown up and when shes in college shes becomes an intern at fazcorp technologies' lab. at the end of her internship she secretly goes to the main room where theyre genetically modifying animals. i guess shes curious bc thats what her parents had been working on before they died. she mainly notices the giant tube of spiders they were working on and she ends up walking right up to the spiders, to take a look and as she gets really close, one crawls on her and bites her. she didnt realize she got bit but thats what makes her get out of there. Anddd thats how nessa becomes spider-van (working name) :3

shes the citys 1 and only spider-van for maybeee 4 years after that point? she graduated just a couple of months after grtting spider powers. also she lives with tape girl btw and they were roommates in college too. after like the first year tape girl (i havent named her yet siiighh) finds out ness is spidervan and she basically becomes her tech assistant. her girl in the chair if u will

anyway so ness has been spidervan for 4 years at this point. and then theres gregory who is just some guy rn :3 hes not spidey yet . one day he and cassie r on a class field trip to the fazcorp tech lab and they get bored so they sneak off and end up in a room with a bunch of different genetically engineered spiders in their own little boxes but one of them is Not in the box bc ig aomeone forgot to close it. andd it bites gregory and greg feels it but he doesnt see it but cassie DID see it and they start freaking out . its kinda funny. andthey do not take him to a hospital nor tell anyone bc they r dumb teenagers and he "feels fine" . so whatevsss they sneak back to where everyone else was on the field trip. andd then they just go home like nothing happened. until the next day when suddenly gregs spider powers manifest and cause HELL at school. yada yada he now has powers and no clue what hes doing with them

ANYWAY SOOO soon enough something happens and gregory meets spider-van by pure chance and she realizes that somehow this kid has pretty much the same powers as her (they got bit by different kinds of spiders so theyre not identical powers) and she offers to teach him how to control his powers so theyre not messing things up all over the place which turns into a mentorship of sorts and that evolves into him becoming a hero right with her ^_^

^theyre like this to me

fun little heroic spider duo adventures ensue from then on. saving the city and such. UHH THATS ALL FOLKS!! ok well thats all i can think of to say for now. thats all [the relevant background information] folks!!

[glysaturn]

hello glysaturn i have been following u for *years* and i want u to know that i havent for one second been convinced that your art is not good or has plateaued in some way. i think that youve managed to convince yourself of these ideas but i want to remind you that the more you continue to think this way the worse it gets. personally i felt at my most hopeless as an artist when i was obsessing over how bad i thought my art was and how little engagement it got online. i hit a point where i stopped drawing entirely for a while because i kept asking myself why i was doing any of this if it was “bad” — but then how could someone ever improve if they give up? all these negative thoughts bashing your own art just lead to hopelessness and an unwillingness to keep trying.

i’m glad that you *do* continue to push through and continue making art but i think it’s important to remember that you shouldnt be comparing yourself to other people. every artist u see online built up to wherever they are now and i think instead of fixating on how “good” their art is or how many likes theyre getting it’s healthier to fixate on the practice and effort they put in to getting there. i’m sorry if you’re not looking for comments about your outlook but again as someone who has been a fan and a follower for like over 5 years it saddens me to see one of my favorite artists tripping themselves up so often

i'm.. not sure what prompted this message. if it was my last post then you severely misunderstood it, no offence, like maybe it's on me for failing to convey exactly what i was trying to say, but i definitely was not coming from a place of self-hate. i love my art! i've just noticed a certain.. pattern in it which was making the process frustrating for me as of late. a pattern which was born through my damn perfectionism. it was making me feel like i have to squeeze my art out rather than just making it happen naturally. even if i like the final result, it takes too much out of me and it's just not very fun. so for a while now i was trying to start taking it easier, making simpler, messier works and through that - learning how to maybe draw something that might be a bit more complex but it would feel less like manual labour. whatever change i may want to see in my art isn't driven by outside factors, it's driven by my own desire to improve.

if this was prompted by my.. less than sane behaviour that i exhibit from time to time. first of all - i'm sorry you had to see that, trust me i ain't proud of it. secondly, uhhh, i get where you're coming from, but i feel like it's still not entirely accurate to what i'm experiencing. am i comparing my works to works of others? …….yea. sometimes. it's a god damn curse. does it make me feel bad about my art? not anymore, no, not really. i definitely do not look at someone else's art and think mine is shit in comparison. i think mine is quite good and worthy. it is true that i was not able to find any sort of balance that would let me exist online fully in peace. but i'm still looking for it, still trying to figure it out. and none of it is going to actually make me stop drawing and loving my own art. i know i said the thought of quitting crosses my mind from time to time, i did, but i was just in a moment of experiencing very intense emotions. i don't actually mean it, like deeply. my brain is wired in such a way that if i were to stop drawing, i would literally lose my mind. i simply cannot sit and do nothing. i MUST create. so there's that.

thank you for your.. concern?

[arunneronthird]

august - fic recs (mature edition)

hi hello and welcome to my first rec list! as i said in previous posts, ill be doing a monthly rec list divided in two posts, a gen/teen and a mature/explicit version (if i have enough fics) and a masterpost where i link all my lists

fandom wise itll probably be all over the place, but i will add the length, important warnings, links and some comments on every fic so u may check them all out!

now without further ado

Fandom: DC

Some Magnetic Way I Move by Shenanigans

words: 11,224 (perfect for an evening)

rating and warnings: M, sexual content (not necessarily pleasant), recommend checking the tags seriously on this one

relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd

summary: roy is a kid who wonders near the ocean without any pirpose in life when he meets a creature that seems too good to be true, then life gets in the way, and roy gets in his own way even harder

notes: this fic has been obsessing me since i read it the first time, its dark and fucked up and completely too easy to get absorbed into, roy is a complicated, messed up man with a shitty life and a tendency to completely destroy himself and you cannot look away from him

this story moves along several years of roys life and his growth or lack thereof and its so easy to get lost in the pacing of this fic and just enjoy the ride, as hard as it gets

literally no need to know anything about dc, just read it and thank me later

Heroes of the Squared Circle by Mithen

words: 226,687 (yes, i wrote that right, it takes a good week)

rating and warnings: M, sexual content (theres one whole scene in a thousand pages), nothing past canon typical violence

relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne

summary: clark is a wrestler, so he follows his heart and joins a promotion where he meets bruce, cue their adventures as they work their way through a retelling of the best dc moments: wrestling edition

notes: OKAY HEAR ME OUT i did not like wrestling before i started this fic, i took a minute to get into it, the moment i got into it i could not stop

this is one of the most fun, most detailed, most passioned fics ive ever read, a love letter to dc and wrestling so vivid and transparent that it genuinely made me excited for it too, all the characters are treated with love and care and the main relationship is so exciting, u can feel the love they hold for each ohter but never overshadows the wonderfully crafted story and the genuinely engaging plot

(cried at the end cause of how much i loved it. i dont cry)

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Below the Sun by CSHfic, VSfic

words: 24,853 (can be read in a long afternoon)

rating and warnings: M, no sexual content, i would consider it T but there is a good amount of injuries

relationships: Sokka/Zuko

summary: sokka and zukko get stranded on an island after a shipwreck and have to learn not to be at each others throats while waiting for rescue

notes: heartwarming and weirdly peaceful, though the inherent anxiousness of sokka being stranded and injured with an enemy nearby does get to you, easy to read and easy to love, honestly a good time through and through and a good reflection on friendship

if you havent watched atla (watch it) you can read this anyway, only minimum knowledge is required for this fic

Fandom: Modern Warfare

i like you alive by kaijusalad

words: 11,254 (another afternoon read)

rating and warnings: M, graphic violence and injuries, no sexual content

relationships: John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley

summary: soap gets really injured in a mission and ghost has to get him out of there, somehow keep him awake, try not to die, and not panic and he is partially failing

notes: intense high-stakes fic, graphic and heart-wrenching and yet somehow very warm, incredibly easy to start praying for ghosts success cause hes... hes trying so hard! once you start reading you wont be able to stop until u reach the end, also anyone typing out accents has my unconditional love

no previous knowledge needed to read this fic, just brace yourselves (btw i dont know why but the tags in this fic are so funny to me)

Doing Time by MildLimerence

words: 53,566 (takes 2 or 3 days)

rating and warnings: M, graphic sexual content plus graphic violence, both to a preeeetty fucking explicit level so please check the tags

relationships: John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley

summary: in a world where soulmates are scarce and sometimes even dangerous to other people or themselves, soap ends up getting himself arrested cause his mark makes him go a bit wild and, to his horror, activates when he finally arrives at prison

notes: listen, i hate soulamates (i love you on purpose) but theres something about the way this author writes them that gets me, the connection between soulmates is more of a telepathic, magnetic connection and the lack of it can make soulmates go completely feral, its not the beautiful thing everyone thinks it is

dont want to spoil much but dont be fooled by the summary, this baby has a whole plot prepared and though the dynamic between characters and dark elements are incredibly fun on their own, i ended up getting actually really hooked by the plot, reeeeally fun read

knowing who the characters are makes it an easier read but i dont think youll get lost if you dont

Fandom: Supernatural

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers

words: 31,587 (takes a couple days, def a couple breaks)

rating and warnings: M, graphic sexual content, not all of it fun, gets pretty dark so check the tags and the authors notes

relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

summary: dean used to turn tricks to make sure he had enough money to care for his brother, now that he has met cas, his issues with intimacy resurface with a vengeance

notes: not an easy fic to read, heavy topics are touched and you feel genuinely bad for dean but the characterization is so perfect that i tend to think of deans past here as canon, as messed up as it is

even though the topics are dark, the fic doesnt dwell on the worst stuff, there are no scenes written for shock value, its a tasteful take on dark topics, its just heartbreaking and powerful, it will make you root for the main characters, hard

if you dont know these characters you may be pretty lost but you definitely only need a basic idea of the show

[silvercrane14]

Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War - two students are in love with eachother but refuse to "lose" and admit their feelings. Instead, they have increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess.

Okay I will admit. this Is a romance and also ive only seen the anime. So actually this would fall more under anime recs bcs the english dub voice acting is AMAZING. Anyway tho its a comedy that I really enjoy. Its about romance but like. Idk I dont read/watch romance often so I cant say "its not like the standard romance plot". But its less about them Falling In Love and more about them Overthinking Everything And Being Silly. ALSO !! tho it takes a bit, it does go into the characters a lot. Very centred on the characters relationships !! Not just romantically between the main two, but in general.

Why I think you would like it: similar in "vibe" to nozaki-kun. Funny!! But it has its moments of seriousness and it understands its characters well.

Mushishi - Eye Have Not Read This im sorry 🙏 i havent even seen the anime so I dont actually know much about it but ive been recced it so many times I figure I should pass it to you.

If u like Natsume's Book of Friends you'll enjoy this. Genuinely I think this is my strongest rec for you on this list even tho I've never seen it. I really do think u wld enjoy 👍

Insomniacs After School - IM REALLY SORRY I HAVENT READ THIS ONE EITHER. I HAVE IT KN GOOD AUTHORITY U WOULD LIKE IT I JUST CANT GUVE ANY DETAILS. BCS IDK REALLY.

"Two young teens who can't sleep find companionship with each other. They must learn to overcome any challenges and figure out what's important to them."

Why I think you would like it: Ive heard its similar to Skip to Loafer in a way!!

Girls Last Tour - Two young girls explore a post-apocolyptic wasteland. They go through abandoned buildings and old towns in their journey, battling solitude eith only eachother

This one is a little sad. More likeeee. Meloncholy, yk? I dont have much to say about it. Very good manga.

Why I think you would like it: The character relationship between the two girls seems like something you would enjoy.

Look Back - to be super honest its been over a year since I read this I dont fully remember what happens. Theres this girl wjo draws comics for her elementary school newsletter. Shes funny so every1 really likes her and her comics. at some point another comic appears, but its actually just four panels of background art. Its so beautifully drawn that the other students begin to fawn over it. Angry kver her loss of attention, the first girl goes to meet the girl making these new comics (The background girl doesnt go to school, she works at home). Thr end up becoming friends and the story shows how their friendship develops and changes, growing closer and growing further apart.

The manga is p short for. a manga but its actually just a Really Long oneshot. Its rlly good. not much else to say.

Why I think you would like it: Very similar to Blue Period. About art and how it reflects people. Also very strongly driven by the relationship between the two girls.

The Girl From The Other Side - ive been typing so much i really cant give a whole review on this. Similar to WHA. kinda. beautiful art. read it u will enjoy it

Kaguya-sama I watched the first two seasons of! Maybe I should read the manga too, I did think it was fun

Mushishi I watched maybe the first episode of, but I should definitely try again,,, I don't remember anything about it lol

I've read Insomniacs After School!!! I'm definitely not caught up though, and I've been planning on watching the anime,,,

Girls Last Tour I,,, might have seen? At least part of it a long time ago. I'll have to rewatch/read the manga

Look Back sounds really interesting,,, I'll check that one out!!!

I'm actually reading The Girl from the Other Side in Portuguese rn lol I have volumes 1-5 on my shelf

[tmmyhug]

i wanna get into working out or at least stretching or something but if i don't see results right Now i will not do it again :( i wanna become magically strong and have more stamina

anyway that leads to a question for you, as a fellow adhder. how did you start and manage to mantain working out?

ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW WEEKS DONT JINX ME i havent maintained crap yet... (if anything the reason im able to go so far is bc of leftover muscle from hiking everywhere in france this summer). but as someone whos been trying to start working out for 2+ years now this is how i finally got started:

first u gotta break it down into itty bitty little steps. decide what youre going to do. your brain will never get you in motion if all you know is that you need to do this nebulous thing called "working out." is it cardio? stretching? strength training? pilates? for me i decided on 40 minutes of running + 20 minutes of cooldown stretching. its ok if you're unsure bc this can always change later ofc.

next figure out Where u can do this and how to get the resources. do you have space at home? do you need a to go to a local gym for certain equipment? do you need weights? youtube video guidance? a yoga mat? workout clothes? etc. list all of this down very deliberately. even if it feels obvious! it helps frame it to yourself as if you are just considering it. ie. if I was going to work out, how would i do it? not. i am Going To Work Out and Therefore I Need This Stuff Immediately. that will just overwhelm you.

this will give you a roadmap to sidestep all the little places we get Stuck when we're trying to do something. for example, i've had moments in the past where i was suddenly struck by motivation and decided to go workout immediately, but then my dri-fit shirts were all in the laundry and i didn't want to wear anything else to get sweaty, so I just. stalled and never ended up going. but this way, I knew beforehand to keep my dri-fit shirts aside, so they were ready when I wanted them. prepping helps get these obstacles out of your way before you start trying.

routine. routine routine routine!!! i am slowly learning that the magic of Getting Stuff Done is like 10% actual motivation and 90% just making it a regular habit. plan this into your schedule like it's rocket science. for example, mine looks like this. 12:00 PM: get out of class 12 - 12:30 go home 12:30 - 1 eat lunch (pre-prepped, because Food Is Hard) 1 - 1:30 scheduled zoom meeting 1:30 - 2 change into workout clothes and go to the gym 2 - 2:40 treadmill workout 2:40 - 3 stretching 3 - 3:30 go home 3:30 - 4 shower this won't always happen beat for beat, but that doesn't matter. it just needs to be a guideline that makes it feel doable.

make sure you put the workout at a time where you'll actually feel up to doing it. you can say you want to get up at 6AM and go workout all you want but when the time comes if you just lay in bed it won't happen. be realistic about what you can accomplish or you'll just beat yourself up over not doing it.

go easy on yourself. there are no deadlines for this and if you push too hard too fast you'll burn out or injure yourself and it'll be even harder to get back into it. make your goals as small as they need to be! 10 minutes of stretching is way more approachable than a full hour of working out, so if that's where you start, that's totally fine! i started with a five minute ab workout video like. once a week. the most important part is doing just what you can rather than what you want to but can't.

ending here before i get too preachy. i sound exactly like my adhd coach gdi. but this is what seems to work for me!! i hope it helps you <33 also if anyone has tips they want to add feel free!

[eggtwobroes]

big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more

sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important

i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u

back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"

this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:

when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated

i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good

i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)

the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.

i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.

As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.

for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!

ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.

after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.

for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.

i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time

[magnoliamyrrh]

. ive got such a long list of reasons to be bitter and fed up and angry. i have so much pain within me. sometimes i feel like pain, deep, deep, sorrowful pain, mourning, grief, anger, a desperate need to stop feeling suffocated is what i know best. and u know as much as i think all thats justified and as much as i think my anger is important for my sanity , and as much as tbh i like by this point to an extent that my over it little tolerance for bullshit angry kinda agressive vibe is a part of my personality - that my bitterness is earned and aged like fine win. but idk, i have tired to rein it in these last months progressively bc it was consuming me and my nervous system literally couldnt handle it

but. something i still havent figured out how to deal w is my very, very, very bad case of survivors guilt. maybe its gotten a bit better but that makes me feel guilty too. it always does. i try not to let it haunt me but It Always done it haunts me that its somehow not supposed to consume and haunt me

. after everything my own pain and trauma is not what fucks me up the most. its always that its not over for so many others. for so many others its not over, its never over, theyre going through it rn, many worse than anything i ever went through. many that wont make it out alive

.

my best friend says its not my responsibility especially with my crippled health and the little of my fragile sanity to try to do something about it. that spending years trying to do something about sex trafficking or whatever else would break me, eat me up inside, that people who aint traumatized end up killing themselves or alchoholics, shells from what they've seen, so what would it do to me? he says. ive earned my rest, ive earned looking away, ive earned my peace

...

but what does that matter? what it would do to me? he says he doesnt understand why i spend so much time writing and speaking on this shit. at first it was to understand myself. now it is the horror that it is so much more horrible and bad and keeps going, its not me. its others. i always have felt more impacted by seeing others in pain than myself. i never can stand seeing my pain on someone else.

he says he doesnt understand why i look. he says he doesnt understand why i think. he says he doesnt understand why i study. doesnt understand why i want to do something about it when its so horrible

........

but ive been.... lucky. not so but lucky. lucky enouth to live. to get out. to get my "freedom."

but what does "my" individual freedom mean? when others dont have it? what does it matter?....... what does it matter?

it feels like my trauma isnt over through them. its not. im just one person, but for so many its not over. it wont be over. they may never see over until their graves.... time is a flat circle and all

...

and i think, how many? how many? and i think too.... in the history of the balkans, of my people, my women and little girls... how many? for how long?

how many today? everywhere?

how am i supposed to rest easy. how am i supposed to live my life ignoring it

why shouldn't i burn myself out. i already am. why shouldnt i take on the trauma of getting back into it for the sake of others

.

what does my freedom mean without theirs?

.

their screams echo through my head. they were my own once. i have stopped screaming

they have not